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pizzaqueen · 2 years

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Thought I'd put together a masterlist and do a little bit of an intro:

You can call me Queenie! Pronouns are she/her. I'm old to some and young to others. I'm mostly here for Steddie but other ships may pop up occasionally (like Chrissy/Robin aka Buckingham or Jancy)

I co-ran @steddie-week in 2023 and will hopefully run it again in 2024

Fanart, podfics, moodboards, fanmixes, and translations of my fics are all welcome! Fanbinding is also welcome :D

Please credit me as 96tears on AO3 and/or pizzaqueen on tumblr and I'd love to know so I can gush over it!

Asks are always open for fic talk or headcanons or anything else 😊 or even feel free to just say hi!

Some tags:

My fic / text/ headcanon posts / writing / art prompts

Some playlists:

Steddie / Eddie / Steve / Buckingham

And a timestamps post of all Steve's scenes in ST

(All fic links below the cut because it's long; updated November 2023)

MULTI-CHAPTERED FICS

alone again, or

20k / M / June 2022

It’s 1991 and Steve is still in Hawkins, still living with his mother, still single, and still working at Family Video. At least he’s the manager now, for whatever that’s worth. But he’s stuck here while Robin and Dustin and everyone else have moved away. Moved on. Well, everyone except for Eddie. They're best friends, spend most of their time together, and it's nice to have a friend like that. But Steve is still looking for love with a capital "L". At least, he thinks he is.

Playlist / Podfic by @cottagepodfics

Till I Kissed You

18k / T / August - September 2022

When Eddie confesses he’s never got the big deal about kissing, Steve teases him about it, saying maybe it’s because Eddie’s a bad kisser. Pride wounded, Eddie can’t let that go and decides he needs an unbiased opinion on his kissing skills. It’s weird but it’s only one kiss, no big deal, right? So, Steve says yes. Eddie gets the answer he wanted, but then he and Steve are left with a whole new set of questions to navigate. Now they just have to find new answers.

Moodboard / Playlist

uh-oh, love comes to town

13k / T / December 2022

It’s not like Steve thought Eddie would stay single forever, but he figured he’d have a girlfriend by the time Eddie got a boyfriend. So, when Vickie and Robin set Eddie up on a blind date with Vickie’s cousin, Steve figures he feels weird about it because he’s the only one without a date.

But an annoying little voice starts telling him maybe there’s more to it than that. He just has to figure out what it is.

Moodboard / Playlist

picnic time with you

12.2k / T / April-May 2023

“Why are you so keen on this, anyway?” Steve looks at Eddie, pulse skipping. He drums his fingers on the floor. “You can’t be that bored.” Eddie turns to Steve, lit by the flickering glow of the projector, and says, “I like knowing things about you.” When Eddie convinces Steve to show him some old family photos and home movies, it unearths a happy memory of a picnic Steve went on as a child. It was just an ordinary picnic, but it was weirdly special to Steve, and, more importantly, it gives him an idea. He's going to take Eddie on a picnic—a romantic one—and finally tell him how he feels. And Robin’s going to help him plan it.

The Pizza Box Pact

24k / T / November 2023

Eddie and Steve have been living together, working together, and raising their cat together for a few years, now, but they’re not together together. They’re friends—the best of—nothing more, and they’re happy. At least, Eddie is, and he thought Steve was too. But then he finds a pact they made, one drunken night ten years ago, where they pledged to ‘marry’ each other if they were still single by the time they’re thirty, and everything changes. Steve isn’t amused by the reappearance of the pledge, seems almost upset by it, and Eddie figures it’s because he’s going to be thirty soon and doesn’t have a girlfriend. So, he does what any best friend would do: promises to find Steve his perfect woman, setting him up on a series of unsuccessful blind dates. But somewhere along the way, Eddie rediscovers feelings that he thought he’d put aside years ago. He just hopes he hasn’t discovered them too late.

Art by goingsteddi3 / Art by Cousin Itt / Promo / Playlist

ONE SHOTS

fighting monsters, holding hands

387 / G / June 2022

As much as a huge part of Eddie still wants to wait here, cowering, he manages to nod. And that’s when there’s a loud boom, and he just about jumps out of his skin, hand flailing out to grab onto anything solid. Anything grounding.

stumbling in

1.3k / T / June 2022

The thing is, it was just one kiss. And it’s not… Steve’s not… It’s not like he wants to kiss Eddie again, or anything. And if it wasn’t a joke, and Eddie is gay, then, whatever. That’s fine, isn’t it? Steve’s fine with Robin—well, more than fine, obviously—so he’d be fine with Eddie, too.

But it’s… It’s natural to be curious when someone kisses you, right? Anyone would be.

Eddie's Badass Metal Mixtape (For Steve)

2.4k / T / June 2022

This is the closest thing in existence to a definitive collection of Eddie’s favorite songs. No, they’re not just his favorite songs. These songs are a part of him. They are him. Or maybe he’s them. Whatever.

The point is, this tape has taken him a week to put together, with one particular person in mind, and it is perfect. Finally.

Podfic by @daysarestranger

turn on your light

2.5k / T / July 2022

After they take down the bad guy, there’s still the issue of a gaping hole in the roof of Eddie’s trailer. Not exactly ideal living conditions. But Steve Harrington, who is not only not a douchebag but a genuine good dude and real-life superhero, says Eddie can stay with him. So, Eddie is in Steve Harrington’s bedroom, wearing Steve Harrington’s clothes, and about to sleep in Steve Harrington’s bed. It’s not the weirdest thing to happen to him this week, but it’s still totally fucking surreal.

a brush with love

1.8k / T / July 2022

“Dude,” Steve says, “when was the last time you brushed your hair?”

The one where Steve brushes Eddie’s hair (because Eddie hasn't done it in...a while, much to Steve's horror.)

when bad dreams become

3.9k / T / July 2022

A movie night during a storm leads to nightmares and the nightmares lead to some confessions. The urge to put his arm around Steve is almost overwhelming, but Eddie fights it. He hooks his ankle around Steve’s, though, which might not be any less obvious, but Steve seems to relax a little at the touch. At the next boom of thunder, Eddie runs his knuckles down Steve’s bicep, letting his hand rest in the crook of his elbow a moment, before he pulls it away.

Bowl Me Over

3.7k / T / July 2022

Eddie’s been kind of different lately—nothing Steve can really put his finger on, but not exactly himself. Steve figures he’s missing the guys from his band, or something. Whatever it is, Steve feels bad about it. It will be nice to do something to cheer Eddie up, so Steve, Robin, Nancy and Eddie go bowling. And then Steve figures some things out with the help of a stray comment from Robin and a stuffed toy bat. Across the table, Robin makes a strangled noise and says, “Holy shit,” eyes wide. Steve clears his throat. “What?” “I can’t believe I didn’t see it.” Steve folds his arms over his stomach and Eddie sobers, setting the bat on the table and poking at his food. Nancy’s brow furrows and she says, “See what?”

strange currencies

4.3k / T / August 2022

When Steve steps in to break up a bar fight at The Hideout, the owner thanks him with free booze. A lot of free booze. By the time Eddie gets him home, Steve can barely stand, let alone wash his hair. But there’s puke in Steve’s hair, and he can’t sleep like that, so what’s Eddie to do? He washes Steve’s hair for him, and he expects it to be weird, but he doesn’t expect it to come with any revelations.

(Basically: Steve is drunk; Eddie gives him a bath and has feelings)

fix you up

2.5k / T / September 2022

It’s been a while since someone touched him like this. With this kind of…tenderness. And it’s all because he got punched in the face. Again. It’s not because Eddie wants to. Then again, Steve thinks as Eddie takes his time tending to Steve, he could’ve steered Steve toward the bathroom and let him patch himself up. He didn’t have to do it himself. Maybe… Eddie patches Steve up after he gets into a fight at The Hideout.

more than a feeling (that’s the power of love)

5.6k / T / October 2022

This was meant to be a fun weekend away for Steve and Eddie. Leave Hawkins, and all the memories there, behind for a few days. Drink some beers, maybe do some fishing or outdoorsy shit. Get some R&R. But now they’re tied up in some weirdo’s basement, facing imminent death, and Steve’s never told Eddie he wishes they were more than friends.

Not exactly the relaxing weekend he was hoping for.

never can say goodbye

2.3k / T / November 2022

Eddie watches as Steve slips his keys down the back of the couch, followed by his wallet on the other side. Then he takes off his jacket, balls it up, and stuffs it under the coffee table.

It’s like he’s setting up a bizarre treasure hunt, that’s the only way Eddie can explain it; Eddie’s about to say something along the lines of Having fun? or maybe What’s my prize if I find everything? when Steve takes off his watch and slips it under the couch. That’s when Eddie decides not to say anything, see where this goes. If Steve wants to play whatever game this is, Eddie’s more than curious enough to let him.

but the fire is so delightful

6.6k / T / December 2022

When Robin and Dustin back out of a trip to Steve’s grandparents’ cabin over Christmas break, Steve’s a little disappointed. But he can’t lie: the idea of spending the weekend alone with Eddie is pretty damn appealing. He’d been hoping to get Eddie away from the others, so he could finally tell him how he feels, and now he’s got the whole weekend to do it.

a single resolution

1.8k / T / December 2022

It’s New Year’s Eve and Steve doesn’t want to be the only one without someone to kiss at midnight, so he slips away to spend the rest of 1989 alone in his room. And then Eddie finds him.

(A New Year’s Eve first kiss)

Another year—another decade—is coming to a close and Steve is still alone. A burst of laughter sounds behind him, reminding him of his apartment is full of friends, the ones who called earlier because they can’t be here, and he amends alone to single.

Most of the time, he can bear it, but it’s harder at night. And harder still on New Year’s Eve, surrounded by happy couples. He loves his friends and he’s happy for them, but seeing them so in love only makes the ache in him grow.

Podfic by Amanita_Fierce

little things mean a lot

1.7 k / T / January 2023

Shafts of light dance over the room as a sweetly cool breeze flutters the curtains. One catches on a small glass bottle sitting on Steve’s dresser. It reminds him there’s something he’s been wanting to ask Eddie for a while now:

“How come you don’t bring me stuff anymore?”

(The one where Eddie used to bring Steve random trinkets but there was a small misunderstanding)

single / taken / pining

4.4 k / T / February 2023

When a girl Steve’s trying to flirt with starts flirting with Eddie, Steve says the only thing that comes to mind: he tells her Eddie’s married. It’s not his smoothest moment, but it works, and Eddie goes along with it. It's not like Eddie was interested, anyway, and he figures Steve wanted the ladies to himself. So, Steve figures that must be it, too.

But a little later it hits him: he doesn’t want to keep the ladies to himself. He wants to keep Eddie to himself.

Also posted in parts on tumblr

Table for Two

3.4 k / T / February 2023

And maybe Eddie still thinks Valentine’s Day, specifically, is kind of bullshit, but looking at Steve standing in front of him, so fucking handsome and making Eddie’s pulse skip just by being there, he gets why so many people fall for it.

Eddie doesn’t think when Steve mentions Valentine’s Day, just goes into his usual spiel, not realizing he might be trampling all over Steve’s hopes and plans until it’s too late. And that’s how he ends up determined to give Steve the best Valentine’s Day ever.

to be close to you

1.6k / T / March 2023

Eddie picks up the sweater, cradling it in his hands. It’s soft, and Eddie already knows it smells like Steve, but he brings it to his face and inhales anyway. Fuck, it smells good. Steve smells good. A wave of heat washes through Eddie, and he flops back again, face still covered by the sweater. What is he doing? Steve leaves his sweater behind after he and Eddie hang out, and Eddie has feelings about it.

those magic fingers

2.4k / T / March 2023

Eddie has a sore back, Steve offers the solution: one back rub. Totally platonic. No ulterior motives or hidden feelings whatsoever. “Okay, just—” Steve pauses, suddenly wondering what the hell he’s doing and why he offered to do this. But he did, and if he backs down, Eddie will know something’s up. So, he draws in a deep breath and says, “Tell me if it hurts.”

the sweetest words

1.2k / T / March 2023

“Why do you have a favorite part of my face?” “Why wouldn’t I?” “Why would you?” “Because.” “That’s not an answer.” “Oh, my friend, but it is.” (Wherein Eddie likes Steve's face and tells him all about his favorite parts)

Whenever you need shelter

4.4k / T / May 2023

Steve locks himself out of the house on a stormy night when his parents are out of town. It’s not an ideal situation, but it leads him to Eddie’s where he gets warm and dry and learns a few things about himself. “You know, seeing Steve Harrington in a Slayer shirt might just make my whole week.” He pushes off the dresser he’s leaning against and claps a hand to Steve’s arm. His brows shoot up and he says, “Shit, dude, you’re freezing,” rubbing his hands over Steve’s arms. Warmth flows through Steve and, distantly, he thinks it might be from more than the motion of Eddie’s hands making Steve’s blood circulate. He raises a brow, heart beating inexplicably hard.

half as much

1.8k / T / July 2023

A wish. The last thing Steve needs tonight. But he closes his eyes all the same, wishes coming too easily, the first that he could have this every night. Or, not this exactly, but being with Eddie. More and more, all Steve wants to do is hang out with him. Be near him. There’s something about him, and the way being with him makes Steve feel—he wishes it was like this with the girls he’s been dating lately.

Inspired by this beautiful art

always be like this

2.1k / T / July 2023

This thing with Eddie started on the first day of summer, and Steve feels good about that. Every now and then, he wonders if it’s a summer romance, period, wishing the summer could last forever so he’ll never have to find out, but… No. It feels more solid than that. Like it's going to last. He splashes Eddie again, and Eddie splashes him back, and it turns into a game of who can splash each other the most (Steve wins, no matter what Eddie says) and they wrestle and dunk each other until Steve’s lungs ache with laughing and Eddie finally admits defeat.

Under the Porch Light

1.9k / T / August 2023

After that, it kind of becomes a thing: the two of them on the step outside Eddie’s trailer, talking and talking. It’s gradual, and it’s not something they do consciously, so Eddie doesn’t realize that it’s becoming a thing, but it’s not long before those nights with Steve become a highlight in his life.

Inspired by this beautiful art

#steddie #masterlist #steve x eddie #pizzaqueenfic

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chouyo · 10 months

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hello yall !! 🌼✨

so… how was the travel ?? i heard the flight from twitter to tumblr was pretty turbulent…

anyway !! im @blueberrysunflowers but it was a side blog so i wasn’t able to have as much freedom as a main blog and here we are !! ill work on queuing up some incorrect quotes there (tho ill admit im running out) and work on posting content here <33

— 💃🏻—

what to expect on this page - gifs !! lots of it !! drabbles (threadfics), headcanons, socmed au updates, retweets and the occasional doodle !!

ships to expect from here - mainly kagehina like 90% of the time, but other ships will come up too !! (tsukiyama, daisuga, iwaoi, kiyotana, asanoya, bokuaka, sakuatsu, kuroken, ushiten, ushitenkuroken, ushidai)

— ❗️—

disclaimer 1 (crossposting) — i will be reposting my own older works (drabbles and whatnot) on here so that there’s some content on this page. please don’t accuse me of plagerising.. my own… works…..

disclaimer 2 (age appropriate content) - i will be posting the occasional nsfw drabble / make nsfw jokes !! do with that information as you wish but if you’re 18- please don’t interact w me those works specifically !!

— 💃🏻—

a little about me - i'm elle (she/they, 22) !! i mainly write threadfics/drabbles, social media aus and ao3 fics !! a kagehina/hinakage main til the end but i enjoy most mainpairs too !! my DMs and asks are open so feel free to say hi !! 🫶🏻✨

my other tumblr blogs! (mostly inactive…) - @queeneye (queer eye) , @exasperatedmoron (DCTV), @three-trainwrecks (unus annus), @choupielu (skam france), @blueberrysunflowers (haikyuu incorrect quotes)

ao3 — xllx / exasperatedmoron

twitter — chouyo_

— ✍🏻 —

current fics published on a03 / in the works / social media aus (on twt) !!

time is nothing but a construct || 30k words of hinata visiting kageyama in italy, falling sick and having a very chaotic and domestically romantic week with his ‘best friend’ that ends in a ring !!

alls fair in love and (one-sided) war || 7k of daisuga being soulmates but instead of using the soul bond for romantic reasons, suga uses it to bring chaos (and love) into daichi’s life !!

here comes trouble (make it double) || 15k of kagehina and ushisakuatsu getting set up by their sisters because they were Very Tired of their brothers’ hopeless love lives !!

life is like a box of chocolates || 18k of married ushiten being the most domestic and in-love couple you’ll ever meet as they go grocery shopping, bake chocolate pastries and reminisce on their relationship !!

that one time at training camp where everyone swapped souls and died || 13k of crack but also wholesomeness and a shit ton of team bonding moments amongst karasuno, nekoma and fukurodani (and mainpairs) !!

what is grief, if not love persevering? || 6k of kagehina’s final days as hinata loses his battle with cancer

everything’s better with you || 4k of ushisakuatsu working perfectly together like a well-oiled machine !! (contains nsfw)

call me and tell me how much you need me || 5k of hinakage handling long distance with nudes, voice recordings and wanking off !! (contains nsfw)

kageyama tobio; a case study on what it means to belong || 6k of kageyama talking to yachi about what everyone means to him and how he found a home within his team !!

adventures in babysitting || 16k (and counting) of natsu being babysat by the various members of karasuno and slowly building her own second family !!

kagehina exchange fic 2023 || revealed in july !!

kagehina + mainpairs || a VERY long au where they both have their main twitter accounts + a secret private side account where they scream about their crushes. lots of crack and fluff!!

kagehina + mainpairs || another VERY long au where they both run secret sasaki to mivano stan accounts & are moots on those accounts without realising it + take inspiration from the show to flirt with their irl crushes !

kagehina + tsukiyama || short timeskipped au where tsukki makes a typo when talking to hinata and sends the poor man into a spiral !!

yachi + mainpairs || short timeskipped au where yachi reviews her friend’s dating profiles and finds love herself !!

kagehina + mainpairs || a VERY long timeskipped au where kagehina become roommates and kuroo tries to increase the popularity of the JNT !!

#haikyuu #hq

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sodamnradd · 2 years

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Hello dear author! Thank you for sharing your amazing fics to the fandom, and bringing so much joy to readers like me! In the spirit of WIP Wednesday, if you were looking for an excuse to gush about a wip you've been working on/ fic concept ideas you'd like to write about one day/ or just some cool dramione headcanons that you have, this is your time to shine! And I hope you have a wonderful day! 💜💜💜

Hello anon, thank you for the thoughtful ask!

My Dramione WIPs at the moment:

Ecdysis - No Voldemort-AU, Slytherin Hermione, slow burn Dramione, Hogwarts years 1-7 and beyond, morally grey Hermione, Hermione 1st POV

This is currently my heart and soul. I've uploaded the first 5 chapters on AO3. Hands down the story I've worked the hardest on and have planned the most thoroughly. Please join me in this madness if you haven't already. This is a multi-chap and will land at ~100-200K words.

Bad Kids - No Voldemort-AU, Hermione and Draco as co-heads sharing a dorm, virgin Hermione, Draco's 1st POV, Draco's a bad influence on Hermione 😏

This is a shot story for a "bloody at your doorstep" theme collection with the Wheel of Doom squad. This is the one I'm most excited for and it will land at ~18K words.

The Body Count - Mind the content warnings, sex positive Hermione, bad one night stands, pining Draco, protective Draco, Hermione 3rd POV, starts out humorous gets dark and then becomes soft...

Honourable mention because this is a re-upload. 3 out of 6 chapters have already been posted. I'm making minor edits as I repost. This will land at ~30K words

#sodamnrad #ask #dramione #dhr #dramione wip #dramione fanfic

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servingliesarch · 4 years

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ARCHIVED.

i know i said i wouldn’t do it because this blog is six years of history, but i decided to archive after all precisely for the same reason. i’m very much hoping for a fresh start, so catch me @servinglies !!

#𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 ; nerd central.#i thought it's gonna be worse #but honestly i did it in a spur of a moment before i could change my mind #i'm tired of this blog #i have too many followers on here and only didn't do it before #because i have like 18k posts of headcanons #but i don't even think the same as i did years ago so who cares #also i hoarded over 2k drafts of random things and it needs to go

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regenderate · 2 years

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Firstly, Hello hope you're well! — Your post of 'yeah vaccines don't cause autism but staring into the heart of time itself does' being about Rose Tyler 🌹💖💕

Do you have any headcannons &/or fanfic? (Short of long!) because I would love to read the Heck out of that!

OHHHHH MY GOD OH MY GOD YEAH

okay so like. the autism thing is like. 80% a joke but only because she already had it <3 so jot that down (hi i'm felix and i love projecting onto characters)

BUT BUT BUT yeah i have gotten very attached to this "bad wolf is a disability" headcanon lately and i have two fics that use it, one is 18k and finished, one is like over 30k and i'm still writing it (and posting on saturdays!). basically the premise is that the tardis changed rose's biology to protect her from the time vortex and in doing so made it so that she needs to feed on vortex energy to survive, BUT the kicker is that the parallel universe has the wrong kind of vortex energy so she's getting sicker and sicker. however this was mostly an opportunity to project my own issues onto rose so if you read it and notice that bad wolf vortex energy sickness is basically a connective tissue disorder uh. shhhhh.

and then when she gets back she's connected to the tardis, so if the tardis is hurting, she gets sicker. ALSO like, she starts getting better once in the new universe, but her biology is different, and for example she eventually discovers she kind of... shouldn't be eating (because she feeds on vortex energy instead and her body doesn't quite know what to do with food). so it's not like... a simple "get back and everything is cured" situation.

anyway that's at @regenderate-fic and specifically this is the post for the series, everything is also on ao3 but i take joy in my fic blog <3

and then specifically with autism, i think that as rose lives longer and longer and as she spends more time communicating with the TARDIS, she becomes less and less comprehensible to other humans, she sees the world very differently, you know, all that stuff tv writers try to write and wind up writing as autism. i will someday write more of my doomsday fix-it au (as yet unpublished) where i will explore this further. AND @clockwork-cat-in-the-tardis has a journey's end fix-it au with this version of rose, although like i know this because he tells me about it and i don't think it's as apparent in the as-yet published fics. but the as-yet published fics are also SOOOOOOOO good and you should read them <3 and that au is here on ao3.

i think that's everything i have to say about this. at some point i'm going to detail exactly how the bad wolf thing affects her body and mind but i haven't done that yet

#ask #doctor who #rose tyler #bad wolf #HIIII to all my non-doctor-who followers reading this essay about rose tyler <3 #meta

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beggingwolf · 3 years

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hi so I've just eaten too much ice cream, feel vaguely ill, and I'm here to tell you All About How I Failed At Outlining for SGKF this year!

that's partially just a fun tagline, but it's also a bit true. I told my friends I'd be trying to use several different outlining methods to try and knock out a plotty piece for the fest, and things did not go to plan!

important to begin with: I am what is referred to as a "pantser." I tend to just start writing. this is strangely contradictory to my personality, which deeply loves plans. unfortunately, what often happens is plans and outlines ruin my excitement and drive while working on a project (it tricks me into thinking I've done all the work and resolved the plot), leading me to abandon it.

and though I can throw together pretty words and made a decent fic, my fics never turned out as good as they could have been. I kept telling myself that if I planned in advanced and worked out what I was doing BEFORE I did it, I'd be able to craft a fic with such care and attention as to make it really SHINE.

so, uh, kinkfest rolls around, and since I was a mod I could see all the prompts before they even got released to the public, so I basically had a WHOLE EXTRA two-ish weeks to start planning and writing.

did I? NO.

so, despite the fact that I collect writing advice like a magpie , I'm not the greatest at implementing it. if you go into my SGKF google folder, you'll find a few instances of me TRYING to implement writing advice like metawriting:

(and you'll see some fics that didn't get finished/make it into the fest!)

my issue was (and still is) that I think I value every little word too much. this is a bad thing: I'm an overwriter by nature. when I get words down, I want to keep them because I feel like I worked hard for them, even if they're not great or don't actually serve the story in the way they should. that's not to say all my metawriting was bad; it wasn't. I tried it out for A Drowning in California as well [which will henceforth just be referred to as "California").

I had a whole subfolder for California. what kind of amazed me is how different my initial notes for the prompt are from what the story actually ended up being. here, take a look:

literally almost none of this is in california. the WWE and UFC stuff made it in, and so did sid wrestling with horny, but that was it. I was going to start this fic in the locker room, with sid wrestling someone, and it was seriously going to be a story about sex—about sid wanting to hold geno down in bed. that was the premise.

and instead, we got a really emotional story about familial rejection and the isolation it can make people feel. SO! something happened along the way, right?

when I started getting into the plot that would support this supposed sexfest, this is where I went at first:

geno wants the relationship to get serious, sid is like mentally still a 12 year old who just wants to wrestle people and doesn't want to talk about his emotions, and prefers to use physicality to communicate. this doesn't work for geno, who wants ... more

we can start to see the actual emotions come through, the things I was interested in: sid using touch to talk, and geno desperately wanting more

what did the most good for me, in the end, was "doing" the metawriting by talking with my friends.

I told them what i thought this story was about ("I'm thinking about making this a story about relationship-defining, maybe? and the communication needed for a lasting adult relationship? I think I'm going to set it in california/LA, where Sid has invited Geno along for the first time for his California Summer Fun/Training/Escape, whatever, and Geno's going to be emotionally preoccupied with Defining The Relationship—maybe they've been on-again-off-again? maybe they're just new to this, like almost a year deep, and they're not getting younger—and thinking this trip is about that [or hoping this trip is about that, and realizing it isn't, and being disappointed].") and they told me what jumped out at them.

Jes told me what would ramp up the tension would be a deadline of some sort; "Geno’s going to break up with Sid or make some decision or something, or there’s something approaching where they have to make a will they or won’t they decision of some kind related to the core ‘defining the relationship’ issue. Geno’s going back to russia and in previous summers they’ve always slept with other people while apart? or Sid has a wedding coming up and he’s offhandedly mentioned taking someone else as his plus one?"

I liked her thoughts. it made sense to add an external pressure to all this, and that wedding idea stuck out to me the most.

Lis said I should add a jealousy angle, so you can largely credit her for the club scene: "one thing i like to sort of headcanon/imply about sid's california trips is he uses them to hook up anonymously. so you could have, like, sid and geno seeing sid's friends, but also accidentally running into some of sid's friends. and geno's like oh, great, so here i am doing this horrible summertime training that i hate because i don't need to train in the offseason actually, and i'm learning what exactly sid gets up to when we're apart."

My magical solution these days is GOING FOR WALKS. do it if you're able. it clears out your brain. so on my walks I ended up deciding that I wanted a taylor crosby wedding. I like taylor as a character, and as a person with sisters I just like writing her in. best of all, she and sid are close and I like writing "I'd do anything for my family" sid.

and then I was like. oh. what if it's not that sid is afraid/nervous to bring geno, it's that he can't.

I... wasn't as conflicted as I thought I'd be about writing sid's parents as homophobic. I prefer to write them as supportive; I think troy crosby's been eviscerated more than he should have been in older fanworks, and though I respect their right to make fictional!troy whatever they want, I've been a little skeptical of outlandish takes on him ("he doesn't say I love you to his son because a camera caught them mid-interaction once!") ever since I read how the media has found him a convenient narrative villain while he tried to keep his underage son safe from the media as a child and while they needed to cook up Spicy Stories about squeaky-clean sid.

uh, tangent aside, I always thought I'd never write a "parents are the villains" story, but I did here. it felt right. it was easier, too, because they're not PRESENT in the story. I didn't have to write trina actually being horrible to her son. I just had to skirt the edges of the wound.

which works well on two fronts: I don't have to actively write the crosbys being horrible to sid, and I also leave more to the imagination of the reader, and that almost never fails to make the work better. whatever the reader imagines them saying to sid, it's going to be 10x more hurtful than anything I'd write.

I dug really deep on some personal emotions and fears I experience as a gay person for a lot of sid's arc here. sid is deeply imperfect in this story, and he's internalizing his pain and the horrible thing that's happened to him, which is making him pull away from his partner, and sid is not responding how geno wants, nor is he responding well, period, though he's trying in his own wounded, stilted way.

and beloved geno, whose tender heart is so hidden away for fear of someone hurting it. I really like writing geno; he's huffy and emotional and sometimes bitchy and feels things SO deeply.

once I had more of an idea, I was already working on a more detailed outline. this is where I seriously took Jes's advice and WROTE EVERYTHING OUT! it made it so much less daunting, because I didn't have to be figuring out my next steps AND crafting sentences at the same time. also this is where I tell you that the title of this post is mostly a lie, it was metawriting I failed at.

This outline also meant I avoided writing large swaths of things that should've been cut. Another beta told me I should delete three scenes and condense a bunch of emotions into the club scene, and she was SO right. Cutting events out of an outline is WAY easier than cutting out pages of text.

Ironically my outline kind of deteriorated after the club scene, but that's alright: after I wrote the club scene, I actually had a clear vision of what I wanted the end to be. I just had to trust myself. I CAN do this, I CAN still just write intuitively sometimes!

I think California did what I wanted it to do. I'd love to try something out that's longer and has more story arcs in it (jes has a post for that too!) but I think that's best saved for another, longer project, though 18k isn't short.

next up is maggie stief's writing seminar that I bought a month back. I'm going to start working on that this month and see how I like it. I have a few halloween fic ideas, plus spookfest, so these next two months we should be cooking in the kitchen!

#on writing

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senju-sekhmet · 3 years

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The Leash (Part 7)

Summary: Your rescue was supposed to be as smooth as these missions can be. However very quickly, Tobirama faces off against an enemy that has no form, color or smell - and time is running short, very fast. Unless he figures out what truly holds you hostage, your life will be lost. Warnings (for the finished work): Blood, illness, descriptions of heavy injuries and graphic violence, torture (both depicted and implied), needles, morally grey territory, human experimentation, panic attacks, character death ~5300 words (this chapter, finished work: 80.000) Previous: Part 1; Part 2; Part 3; Part 4; Part 5; Part 6 Read on AO3! Disclaimer below the cut! (I updated it actually this time, lmfao)

DISCLAIMER! I’ve split the chapters of as some of them were too long (the last one being +18k, oopz), therefore this comes a little bit shorter than usual! But each of them still should contain a meaningful amount of progress in terms of, y’know. Plot and all. But! It should make posting the chapters more frequently a bit easier. More angst and science here! Other than that: enjoy my very self indulgent work, filled with my own headcanons and angst galore. Let me know what you think and thank you so much for reading!!!! ______ Tobirama couldn’t believe what you had just said. So much so he fell silent after his incredulous outbreak - prompting you to repeat your eerily calm statement. “You need more time. Stretching the intervals will do just that.” His hand on your shoulder gripped it tighter as the message had settled in, slowly, but he retorted before he had comprehend it, really. “Absolutely not!”

You closed your eyes slowly. “Tobirama…”

Your calmness was unnerving him additionally. “Do you even realise what you’re saying?!”, his voice had risen in volume.

Your eyes snapped open again. Your stare was boring into his, the cold hand that had been caressing him fell limply to your chest. “I’m the one who is going to suffer, so I’d say yes,” you stated.

Tobirama’s heart was hammering in his chest again. But this time, it was from fury - the worry from before was shadowed by it easily. The things you were saying - outrageous. “The withdrawal is lethal! I will not allow this, Y/n!”, he was almost shouting now. Hell, were you losing your mind?

Your mien hardened. “It is not lethal right away. The decision to shorten the interval because of potential harms was made by an assumption we have no hard proof of,” you countered somberly. "Maybe it can be stretched."

Tobirama drew his hands back to cross them in front of his chest, causing you to wince as your chakra connection abruptly ended. He merely hissed curtly, but the ire had his chakra swelling already - such a connection would be dangerous to your delicate state now. Besides, it made arguing a lot easier. “We have very good reason to believe stretching the interval is dangerous,” he began, his baritone voice near trembling again. He still couldn’t believe you were even talking about this. “And you are in absolutely no state to take on even more strain, at all,” the sternness was becoming scathing.

You laid completely still in the bed. His attitude was bouncing off of your stoic demeanour like water on oiled leather still. “Then I’ll need more support. There are ways to do that until the withdrawal becomes too detrimental to my health, then I get the next dose.”

You made it sound so easy. So simple. Like nothing was at stake here.

Tobirama’s expression fell apart more and more. He could only gaze at you in utter horror. “You’ll suffer miserably, Y/n,” his voice was cracking. Whether it was from fury or shock, he didn’t know anymore. Unable to sit still anymore, he jumped to his feet to stand by your side. “We don't know at all if there aren't more ways in which the withdrawal will harm you! Even if we get you through those prolonged withdrawal phases - which we will not be having - there is no saying what effects it will have on you - what if you’re taking permanent damage?” He’d never forgive himself if that were to happen - if you became impaired because he did not administer this godforsaken leash on time.

If you died because of a gamble. He was trembling now.

You gasped almost inaudibly, your facade cracking finally. A wrinkle on your forehead. Tobirama huffed. Just as quickly though, you found your proverbial balance again. “I’d rather become handicapped than dead, Tobirama.”

The statement hit close to home. Only momentarily though for his anger bristled even harsher in return for it. Proceeding like this might just as well kill you, after all. “You’re expecting me to let you undergo additional, intense torment, risk permanent injury, possibly even killing you!”, he intended to make it a question, but as he listed these things, he was almost shouting again. His hands gesticulated out of sheer frustration - every fiber of himself refused even entertaining this idea more; even discussing this was so revulsive he thought he’d stumble over his words until all he’d bring out was ‘no’. “I won’t allow this.” His eyes narrowed as he stared you down, crossing his arms firmly in front of his chest. “We are not doing that.”

Your gaze narrowed in turn. Again, you started to move again to sit up in the bed, each arm by your side hefting your chest up - get closer to eye level with him. Tobirama scowled and took a step closer to your side. “Y/n!”, he couldn’t believe it - just a short while ago he had berated you on resting, and already, you were moving again - plus, you obviously weren’t letting this foolish, foolish idea go-

“Tobirama,” your voice was clouded with fury of your own now. He placed a hand on your shoulder that already wanted to shove you back onto the bed again, but it rested for now. “I know that,” you panted, hissing past clenched teeth. “But you forget that all of that won’t matter if I die because there’s none of that damn leash left!”, your voice rose to a shout, hoarse as your vocal chords still reeled from the abuse.

He stared back at you for a moment only, his vision tunneling. The fury was burning under his skin. Each and every single aspect of this proposal was just plain wrong-

“Lie down again,” he hissed strictly, mustering every bit of his control to not shout back at you. Or simply shove you down. Or use more unkind words.

“I will not,” but before Tobirama could shout back at you, your frail hand had gripped his wrist. He felt the tremble in your body from the extortion of sitting up - he knew this must cause you pain, too. But you didn’t give him a chance to speak or start berating you, “Stretching the interval is going to give you - me - us - more desperately needed time, Tobirama. Time is all that matters now!”

He stared right into your eyes which he was positive were glistening now. Distantly, he became aware again of the fact how his heart was still hammering against his ribcage.

“Even if it’s just twenty-four hours, maybe thirty-six,” you finally whispered, letting go of his hand and sinking back on the bed, panting. The little endeavour had visibly cost you quite some energy - but then by now, the delirium phase would start again soon. It was hailed by the weakness. “Think about that logically for a damn second, please,” you breathed.

Tobirama felt the heartache constrict his chest again. Desperately he began to take deep breaths against the feeling, raking a hand over his scalp. Unable to stand still any longer, he turned around. Pacing in front of the end of your bed, his mind was racing while the emotions were surging. He couldn’t possibly allow this. It was foolish, it was unspeakably dangerous for you - and there was no telling if they could extend the interval by a meaningful margin. He’d agree to a terrible amount of agony for you, risk handicapping you - for what?

Time. The reason was time. The one thing he needed. Well, despite the solution to the mystery of the leash. But time would answer that one just as well.

It was a gamble with the highest stake: you. But you were on the line, either way. Either he took the five days he had left and worked nonstop. Or he took this risk, this ridiculously perilous risk, he forced you through a new dimension of hell - and he gained more time.

He was confident in his skills - but never so arrogant to look in the mirror and think a day - or more - would not matter in cracking the leash. Because they would. Greatly. Maybe not enough to even the odds. But every day you endured longer - he absolutely loathed himself for how logical the whole situation seemed.

Tobirama was seething with rage. Rage about the situation. Your proposal. What this meant for you. Your stubbornness. “Dammit,” he muttered near silently.

Your eyes were on him with a sad look when he gazed back at you, both hands gripping the foot end of the bed. His knuckles turned white. “I don’t want to do this,” he breathed, desperation seeping into his voice, jaw taunt again.

You blinked, a sorrowful smile tugging at the corners of your lips. “I don’t either, Tobirama,” you whispered, haunted.

He clenched his teeth. He wanted to say there had to be another way - but he knew, there was none. By all means, if he knew one thing despairingly clear now, unravelling the leash was a staggering task, even for him.

He swallowed the lump down his throat. His head hung low. This was another defeat. “I’ll speak to Hashirama about this,” he finally muttered brokenly, aware of what waited for you next - medically - would well exceed his skills. It wasn’t about mending some damages you had suffered - no, this would be about keeping you stable. Alive. Not that he had the time to supervise you as much as you’d need to, now. Another fact that didn’t sit well with him at all. Not only were you going to very likely be in a critical condition, but he also couldn’t be there all the way through, for every bitter second of it.

He looked back up at you, furrowing his eyebrows forlornly.

“Tobirama,” you called out then, softly. Your hand waved him over, he obliged, slumping down by your side again, still gazing down sadly.

Your hand reached for his and he couldn’t help but notice the fine tremor that shook your arm. It would get so much worse from now on. He took it in both of his, a palm running over your forearm soothingly.

His eye widened slightly when he felt the faintest nudge at his chakra network - you were trying to soothe over his like he had done so often these past few days. The gesture was incredibly touching on the one hand and on the other it was heartbreaking. He closed his eyes and groaned faintly to ease the ache somehow, letting his chakra graze over your network. A chill sensation on his cheek prompted him to open his eyes again. You were caressing his cheek again.

“It’ll be fine, Tobirama,” you whispered.

No, it won’t be. He didn’t respond.

Your mien became more sorrowful again. “Tobi,” you began, the nickname warming his heart like few things could. “Promise me you’ll go as far with this as you possibly can.” Your gaze was piercing. He gasped. “Promise me no matter how much I scream, writhe or whatever - so long as it’s possibly justifiable, you’ll hold off of giving me the next dose.”

His pulse thundered in his chest. This is insane. Nobody should ever agree to this. He didn’t want to. He’d never want to do anything that’d make you suffer.

“Promise me,” you repeated when he didn’t reply right away, firmer now but no less mournful. Your thumb grazed over his cheekbone.

He felt entirely numb when he spoke. “I promise, Y/n,” he choked out, voice broken. His grip around your hand and arm was firm now. Desperate. “But I won’t risk anything,” he added swiftly, “I can’t - I can’t do that.”

“I know. Thank you,” you replied, almost a whimper. Your hand smoothed over his face to reach for the back of his skull, through his hair. With very light pressure, you beckoned him closer. Dazedly he moved again, and a moment later your cool lips were on his in an utterly tender kiss. He couldn’t help the whimper of his own that escaped against your lips. Your hand stroked over his short hair.

He pulled back only very slightly after, his face hovering over yours. Your eyes were glistening again. His were prickling again, too. “I don’t want to lose you, Y/n,” he muttered.

You gave another smile that tore at his heart. “You won’t. I’ll fight as much as you do.”

He was damn sure you’d fight. In both a sarcastic and wholehearted way.

He closed his eyes and a hand snuck around your chest, under you, while his face buried in the crook of your neck. Your arms wrapped around him. He took a deep breath that nearly turned into a sob.

You kept rubbing gently over his back while he tried to bite down on more tears and sobs. The ache in his heart was near unbearable now.

_____

As much as he wanted to simply hold you, time was more essential than ever. He mournfully released you not long after and with another warm caress, both inwardly by his chakra and outwardly, he promised he’d be back soon to find his brother and discuss the plan. You on the other hand had become weaker yet again, urging him to hurry even more. The withdrawal would set in soon, and they had to be ready.

Even so, Tobirama decided to make most of the time he had, as well. If you were going to run a high risk, so would he - before he sought out his brother who no doubt was in the Hokage office at this time of the day - past noon - he went to the laboratory again. Three shadow clones - for now. With what little information he had gleaned from Zenji as well as the result from his first experiment, he might as well triple his efforts in trying to recreate the leash. Four times more, once he was involved. Frankly the number was low for him, but they'd be working quite a long time and he well remembered the head-splitting concentration it had taken to even conduct his first experiment in imbuing the basis with chakra.

When he'd let these clones disappear, it'd be tripled. So would the progress, however. He let out a low gruff when they got to work. All he needed to do was remind himself of the strain you'd be shouldering soon.

He should have done this from day one. But then he didn't have enough information to go with for this to be truly efficient - he hadn’t even known what to do, really.

Hashirama indeed was in the office, which Tobirama noted was in some disarray. Quite possibly because he had not been here to swat at his brother's hands. His scowl mustered the scrolls that were strewn about, shaking his head.

Hashirama already sighed when he noticed his disapproving glance. "You're not here to berate me I'm guessing," he began, already defensively.

"I have more urgent business, although I will say this office is ridiculously untidy," he frowned, casting a last glance around to find his brother drooping again. Luckily they didn't receive guests in here. Tobirama crossed his arms.

"Yes…?" Hashirama inquired, slumping further into his chair.

"Y/n … brought up an idea," he began, suddenly finding difficulty in wording this. Proposing this insane plan. His pulse picked up already. He tilted his head to gaze out of the window behind his brother. "We… I need more time, anija. And she thinks we should extend the interval at which she takes what we have left of the leash as much as possible."

Once the words had left him, a weight felt lifted off of his shoulders at the same time it came crashing onto his chest again. His heart. There was no turning back now. He firmly had to believe this was the right thing to do. Like so often these past few days. He simply staggered through the heartache all this caused him and tried to forget about how wrong it was.

Hashirama straightened in his chair, frowning now. His elbows propped up on the desk and he intertwined his fingers. Any of the depressed demeanour was gone. "I hardly think I need to tell you of all people how dangerous that is, Tobirama."

Tobirama hissed past his clenched teeth. "Tell me something new." He still found himself profusely struggling with all this. "I… even if it's just a day or a day and a half more," echoing your words. He paused, his arms sliding down and fists clenching by his sides. "I can't deny I'd take every damn hour I can get."

Hashirama's gaze was trained on the desk, his forehead wrinkled in fine ponder. "It's that bad," he whispered, half to himself.

Tobirama remained silent. He needn't supply that statement with more fodder. Him being here - saying the things he was saying - was proof enough of that. Slowly, he crossed his arms again, taking deep breaths.

That sort of had seemed to become his new mantra.

Hashirama leaned back in the chair again, turning slightly but still lost in thought. "The withdrawal ultimately is lethal, that much we have ascertained."

Tobirama sighed. The words stabbed at his heart. "Indeed," he replied nonetheless, beaten down. "We have to stabilise her as long as possible-"

Hashirama cut in. "-before the withdrawal becomes too severe. I understand that." He fell silent again.

Tobirama grew uneasy the longer Hashirama did not speak.

When he finally spoke again, Tobirama almost flinched. "I'm not sure to what degree that is possible," he began slowly, a hand rubbing over his chin. "We're already facing the problem of Y/n's chakra overload due to weeks of sloppy care on top of grievous injury, so that is not a good angle to work with. One we will have to use if necessary - even if it means to overburden her - but as a last resort."

Tobirama listened intently, trying to ignore the rush of blood in his ears. The implications of his brother’s elaborations didn’t sit well with him either, but then what of this did? Therefore he didn’t argue, but just listen.

"It comes down to using every kind of physical aid we have available therefore, mainly medicine. Also other physical aid, but that would be our focus, for now."

"That's not a bad start," Tobirama stated, aware there was more to follow.

Which it did. "Any chakra based methods are our last resort. And we won't be able to do anything for her physical state otherwise, meaning her remaining injuries won’t receive attention." That would set you back yet again - they'd again push the limits of what you could take, even go beyond. And after - after all this was over, you'd face a prolonged recovery to repair those damages perfectly. Tobirama's hands bunched the black fabric of his shirt.

It was manageable, still. Somehow. Eventually.

Hashirama was not done though. "I'm worried it won't hold very long. The withdrawal effect we have witnessed was intense as such. That was somewhat more than the interval we're at now. And we know the bulk of it seems to stem from the way the victim’s chakra starts to interact with the leash."

Tobirama frowned. Something about that sentence made him wonder - but he stowed it away for later. "So you're saying we can't prolong the dose by a meaningful margin either way?"

Hashirama shook his head. "I don't know enough to make a prognosis. But…," he sighed. Tobirama knew that sigh. Whatever Hashirama wanted to say next won't sit well with him. Inwardly, he rolled his eyes. It couldn't get any worse at this point, why mince his words? "... there might be merit in sealing off Y/n's chakra, temporarily. As long as the withdrawal sets in worse."

That did strike him harshly. Tobirama sucked in a sharp breath. "That's tantamount to amputation, anija," he rasped out with a slight tremble to his voice, a cold shiver running over his back.

Hashirama cleared his throat solemnly. "Think of it more as restraining."

The world was upside down if Tobirama became the one to question Hashirama's methods. "Restraining implies just preventing something - you're talking about taking it away from her completely!", his voice rose in volume as the shock seeped through his veins icily. "A punishment befitting criminals," he added, pained.

It hurt. It hurt so much because -

Deep down, he already knew this was yet another thing they'd end up doing to you, thinking it was best. He'd do better accepting it quickly. Still, in this moment - it was sheer horror. He’d fight it, be disgusted of it�� and do it anyway.

Hashirama closed his eyes. " Temporarily, Tobirama. It's worth a try. It won’t stop the withdrawal as it gets worse, because her chakra is just sealed from her, but obviously not gone from her body. But I’m confident it’s going to help prolong the time between the intervals." Of course it was. Logically, he well comprehended this. If he’d sit down calmly, he’d have come up with this on his own, too. It didn't make accepting this easier.

But he had to.

Defeatedly he heaved a heavy breath. "Very well." He silently hoped you were so out of it by then, you wouldn't feel it as much anymore.

"I'll speak to Mito," Hashirama announced. "And I will supervise Y/n personally." He rose to his feet already. "When would the next dose be needed?"

"About two hours," Tobirama murmured, feeling numb again.

"Alright. Then there still is some time." Already, Hashirama began to move for the door. "I'll be in the laboratory. I want to be notified right away if any complications arise," Tobirama announced tersely, “Or when she needs the next dose.” No discussion about this whatsoever.

Time to deal with the problem that was splitting his head, not his heart.

_______ He inspected his shadow clones work when he got back to the laboratory. Not much more than what he had managed before - but they had just started to work. He briefly contemplated visiting you again but decided against it in favour of you resting.

You were in for enough as it was. He resolved to put every single second to use now more than ever given the situation had become as grave. Yet being here again placed him in front of the seemingly insurmountable task again. He still didn’t know how to continue, and what he had gleaned so far served as a vague indicator at best. If he interpreted it wrong, he might end up in the wrong direction altogether. And that meant…

The painful tightness settled in his chest again. He took a moment of gripping the lab bench tightly to breathe through it.

He really only had one shot at this.

Reviewing what he knew so far he was almost completely convinced that the liquid had been imbued with chakra, no particular jutsu involved at all - but rather a complex weaving technique of chakra itself - akin to the way medical jutsu at a very basic level worked. Simply because his first experiment had shown a similar effect in Zenji. Still, he couldn't rule the possibility out entirely, since his experiment hadn’t produced the same effects the leash did. So far concerning the immediate effect of the leash.

But there was also the time component. Because his own experiment had worn off rather quickly in comparison to the original, Tobirama couldn’t help but wonder if maybe a technique was needed after all to make it last longer. A seal, rather, he corrected himself. However that, he judged, would not be as difficult to imitate - it’d have to be a containment seal of inferior quality due to the fact neither he nor Hashirama found any trace of it on the bottle they had brought with them. Anything more complicated would’ve required some ink work.

A relief, albeit a small one.

He still did not know at all how the change of the chakra component between muting and then disrupting the victim’s chakra happened, though. Recalling how different your two blood samples had presented - it made him doubt again if there really was no jutsu involved. This seemed too far-fetched to be accomplished by weaving of chakra alone. Every effect the leash caused - altering chakra flows to a stop, almost, and causing disruption in someone’s network to a point the body reacts, violently and physically - a well-versed medical nin could produce in a like human being with their own chakra. But to imbue a liquid that caused these effects consecutively in a timely manner - for a duration that would kill the victim before they have worn off - it seemed near impossible, the more Tobirama thought of it.

Unless.

He recalled Hashirama’s words from before: the bulk of it seems to stem from the way the victim’s chakra starts to interact with the leash.

Something about that had bothered him. Why would someone go the long way to create a drug that served as a chemical leash due to its withdrawal effect without actually taking advantage of it in interrogation settings? Wouldn’t it be more sensible to let the victim suffer continuously in fact, and not with the belated onset? Sure, the withdrawal effects were lethal at some point - but Tobirama did not doubt for one second that a person who was able to imbue a vial with chakra that changed its effect over time could easily let the uncomfortable feeling of the withdrawal set in sooner and prolong that, shortening the chakra muting phase of the drug. Even scrapping it altogether, really. To immobilize a victim’s chakra was handy for torture, true - it lowered mental defenses. To some degree, anyway - it hadn’t worked with you. Yet… bothering a person with something like the withdrawal effect would do the same just as well. Even for restraining purposes this seemed ineffective: chakra handcuffs or the like would serve the purpose better and longer. A torturer should know how to seal off chakra, too.

It hit Tobirama then.

The leash didn’t change over time. It had not one, but two chakra components: one to clog the victim’s chakra flow, the other to disrupt it.

How had he not realised this sooner? Just as he found a medic-nin might create all these effects in a person, he should’ve realised it would be impossible to do so without actively altering the chakra they were using profusely. Or, multitracking with two different kinds of chakra flows at the same time. He had judged what the leash did was extremely difficult to recreate - but that was because the way he perceived it, it just was not possible. Chakra did not change on its own, someone needed to do it.

He couldn’t help but bark a haughty laugh for being so foolish to think the Stone shinobi had pulled that off. Well, then again he had seen stranger things.

The chakra muting component of the leash settled in and covered up the disruption component until it wore off and the victim began to experience symptoms. The chakra muting component therefore wasn’t intended for torture: it was necessary. Without it, the withdrawal would set in right away, starting to kill the victim. From the examinations he and Hashirama had performed on you during the withdrawal he knew the disruption was incurable in the way toxins might be extracted; that had been a hint to the chakra based nature of the leash. But not just that: it spread through the whole body, seeped through everywhere, making it impossible to be destroyed manually, in a sense. When he examined your blood, he had seen then the correlation of this; the enemies' chakra that had near branded itself to your cells in a most detrimental way. Both the effect it causes as well as your body's reaction were what was killing you during withdrawal.

A cure will have to remove it, Tobirama dismally realised. Somehow.

Though even more dismally he found that new questions arose from these realisations. While he had ascertained there must be two components, he still did not answer the initial question: was it really not possible to simply increase the withdrawal effect over time, foregoing the muting component? This seemed extra complicated. There had to be more to it - the only guess he could hazard really was the fact once imbued with chakra, the substance’s effect wouldn’t change. Any shift in intensity in the drug would only happen due to an effect wearing off. And why did the muting effect fade, but not the withdrawal effect? When he first analysed the leash with his sensory skills, the substance appeared so intricately woven, he hadn't even guessed two manipulations happened. Even your blood had not made him guess as much - initially there had been this fuzzy, heavy aspect of it - almost smothering - and in the later sample, it was stingy, like a million hooks that ripped along everything they touched, specifically chakra and its pathways. Why had he not felt both, if there had been two modifications?

Tobirama groaned finally and rubbed a hand over his face. The more he thought about all of this, the more he felt like he was starting to split hairs. He still hadn’t even found out how to weave the chakra in properly. Sighing heavily he released his clones briefly just to let them reappear, equipped with his new thoughts. The exhaustion was bearable as of now given they had not been working long yet, but still, the amount of images, feelings and experience that flooded his mind the moment he broke the jutsu made him stagger a moment.

He was not looking forward to gathering their results for this day.

Cynically he noted more sleep and food might help the issue. But he had no time for that yet.

Time to get to work himself. He began exactly the same as last time; starting to weave chakra he figured would cause the desired effect in a person’s body. Thanks to his added experience the process was a little bit faster, but it still took him - and his clones - a fair deal of time to produce four vials in total. And the concentration required was daunting - he couldn’t allow himself a moment of distraction or the tiny threads might crumble, knot together or frazzle. He might as well try to weave a complex pattern using spiderwebs only, or something of that caliber. The result wasn’t even gratifying: he merely had the muting component woven in, nothing like disruption was added yet. Truth be told, Tobirama was quite worried the delicate structure might crumble if he added more to it.

But he had to, eventually. Still, he had four vials in total now to try it with.

His gaze wandered to the clock. You had exceeded your interval by four hours so far. Which meant right now, you definitely would be suffering - and Hashirama was managing, or else he’d have sent for Tobirama.

If his brother had administered the next dose without him, then so help him whatever power he wanted to place his faith in.

He slipped one of the vials into his pocket. Then, he himself and each of the clones performed a very simple seal to preserve the vials as they were so the chakra woven in wouldn’t diminish over time. With a heavy sigh, he released the three shadow clones - and instantly grasped for the lab bench when the exhaustion hit him. It wasn’t just like feeling tired, worn out. He felt entirely stripped of his last shred of concentration, let alone energy to keep his eyes open. This might as well have been a blow to his head with a hammer, shattering the bone and ringing through his brain. His own chakra levels were not bothered at all - none of this was demanding in chakra quantity. He panted heavily and tried to keep his eyes open forcibly - just a while longer. The experience he gathered was so valuable - he just gained three sessions like this.

The question was how often he could take it.

He lingered a moment longer in order to regain his composure and remember the way to your room again.

Why did he have to remember, though?

Wait. He had his branded kunai in there.

That bad, huh. Tobirama shivered. This kind of blunder really was not like him.

With a low grunt, he placed the vial in his pocket back onto the laboratory rack. He’d conduct his next tests after he rested some. This wasn’t going to yield good results and so he was forced to having only his mood greatly soured by this. He simply had no time for things like… sleep.

Blinking slowly, he forced the last bit of concentration out of him and used the hiraishin seal to teleport to your room.

#tobirama #tobirama senju #tobirama x reader #tobirama senju x reader #sekhmet writes

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gusu-emilu · 3 years

Note

Oooof, okay, top 5 JC ships? if you have that many

Ask me my Top 5 anything

Ooo I love this question! As much as I adore aroace!JC, I do enjoy shipping him with way too many characters. (And I don’t think those headcanons have to be mutually exclusive anyway)

1. Chengning (Jiang Cheng x Wen Ning)

Y’all knew this was coming. There’s a reason I wrote 18k+ words about these two. Post-canon Chengning is where it’s at. There’s SO much history between them, leading to the angst from their only-partially-resolved grievances that they still need to overcome after Guanyin Temple. There’s the parallels between them (see this gifset). There’s the added complication of Wen Ning being a fierce corpse, how that could affect romantic relationships for him, and how there’s potential for them to both find a sense of acceptance in each other. If they got the time to bond, I think they could really understand each other in a way that helps them heal. Plus...Wen Ning is not afraid to put Jiang Cheng in his place and I Like That.

2. Chengqing (Jiang Cheng x Wen Qing)

CQL was very smart adding the romantic tension between these two. It made the fate of the Wen Remnants more painful, and made it hurt more to watch Jiang Cheng’s ultimate choices regarding them and Wei Wuxian. I also love that the ship didn’t work out! It’s refreshing to see, and there wasn’t really another way to do it anyway. Personally I think canon Chengqing would be mostly unrequited, but I can get over that because Chengqing fanfics are delectable. Wen Qing would be 100% in charge of this man and I’m here for it. Also these two both need some time off and a spa day together. Let them have it.

3. Jiang Cheng x Lan Wangji

This ship is solely for the pain. The cursed in-between years while WWX is dead. Hate sex only

4. Sangcheng (Jiang Cheng x Nie Huaisang)

What can I say, it’s a cute ship! I like how the dynamic can exacerbate JC being a grump, and in other ways get him to relax a bit. As for NHS, he’s always fun to watch, very sweet, and also a bit sneaky so that’s entertaining for get-together scenarios. Although canon Sangcheng works, this is more of a modern AU ship for me.

5. Jiang Cheng x Xue Yang

I don’t have a 5th ship, but I have talked about this before (in the context of a rather Crack ask), so let’s throw it in for fun. My headcanon is that JC is too much of a disaster for XY, who likes his men pristine and naive, so it’s a very one-sided relationship.

Thanks for the ask! (Also I’m curious to know what yours are)

#mdzs #cql #chengning #sangcheng #chengqing #jiang cheng #emilu talks #ask game

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eirenical · 3 years

Note

1 and 2 for the writing meta prompt please!

Thank you, @flamingwell

[If anyone else would like to send questions, here is the list. ^_^]

1. Tell us about your current project(s) – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

Oooooooh boy. Well, I have quite a few. XD So, how about we just go through the ones I have actively open in Word right now?

Legacies Found: The Untamed, sequel to Legacies Lost. This is a giant canon divergent AU that I've been working on for well over a year at this point. There is one key thing that I changed (and in the interest of spoilers, I'm not going to say what, but if you're curious and don't mind spoilers then, by all means, come ask and I'll tell you all about it. ;D) and it affected everything in-universe, some for the better, some for the worse. Here's the AO3 summary:

Sixteen years ago, the Yiling Patriarch died, a victim to his own hubris and the Yin Tiger Seal. Hundreds of cultivators from many different sects died with him that day, their souls forever doomed to find no rest, even in death. On this, the 16th anniversary of the battle of Qiongqi Pass, Jin Ling is determined to make pilgrimage, to try to put the spirit of his long-lost father to rest. He finds much more than he bargained for, and what he finds… will change everything.

And in the sequel, things have progressed significantly from this point, but the people involved are still broken in various ways, not quite at the point of healing yet, but getting there. The plot is opening up to the wider world and new characters are going to be introduced, and I'm having a lot of fun writing it, but it is SO MUCH SLOWER GOING. OTZ

Mirror, Mirror: I talked about this one extensively in this post, and it hasn't really progressed any further from there. XD This is a Guardian AU based on a short film that Zhu Yilong did with Li Bingbing called "Into the Mirror" (there's a link in the other post).

Reclamation: *eg* For anyone who's been following my Whumptober series (yes, I know we're WELL past October OTZ) of fics that I've been writing for Granting You a Dreamlike Life, this is the latest in the series. This monster is already almost 18K words and it's... it's a LOT. The story is a canon-divergent AU that starts out mostly overlapping canon during episode 35 and begins to diverge somewhere between there and episode 36. I leaned REALLY hard into the whump on this one, went really self-indulgent and wrote the fic that I would most want to read for this fandom, because I was pretty damned sure that no one else would write it or would take it as far and as dark as I wanted it to go if they did. And this particular story is the darkest of the bunch so far. ^_~ I'm not going to link directly to this one, because this is definitely a HEED THE TAGS situation, but if anyone's interested in some really, REALLY dark GYADL fic... hit me up and I'll be happy to tell you more. ^_^ (And for those who just want to look for themselves, you can find it under #eirenical does whumptober or on my AO3 where the series name is "Indefinitely." ^_^)

2. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

I think I've talked enough about my current projects, so how about some future projects for this one? ^_^

(...and how about under a cut because this is getting kind of long...)

The Lost Tomb Reboot

I have... several fic at the plotty stage for TLTR, and I just added a new one to the list this morning. XD

Ershu fic: So, for anyone who's been following my TLTR journey, you know I'm obsessed with Ershu. I LOVE HIM. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. And you know what happens when I love a character, right? Right? I WANT TO BREAK THEM. *coughs* Anyway, something happens to Ershu in S2 of TLTR that I won't go into detail about because spoilers, but essentially, he's betrayed and ends up in the hands of the person who betrayed him with no one else being the wiser and with him helpless and unable to tell anyone. And there are just... all KINDS of dark, fucked up possibilities there, and just like the Whumptober series, I AM going to write that fic, even if no one but me ends up reading it. ;D

Probably post-canon domestic bliss fic: For those of you who enjoy WHIPLASH ;D, I just honestly want ALL THE SOFT DOMESTIC IRON TRIANGLE. ALL OF IT. And I want Wu Xie and Ershu to have an opportunity to sit down and actually TALK about things (e.g., their need for a family heir), instead of trying to one-up each other. Special appearances by all the ducklings, Xiao Bai's girlfriend, and Lia Jiale and Jia Kezi (...my fic, my rules, we ignore canon when we want to ^_^) having an ...oh moment, and sweet, soft cuddles for Liu Sang and Kan Jian because they're adorable and I love them, too. (I have no idea if this is all going in one fic or if it will be a series of slice of life things, but I just want everyone to get their happily ever after IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK???)

Post-canon Huo Daofu and Xiao Ge... time-sharing Wu Xie?: IDEK what to call what's going on here, but... yeah. XD (See, @elenothar, I haven't forgotten! ;D) To crib from another post... I really do think that Xiao ge loves Wu Xie and loves being with him and all that that entails, but that he gets… restless. A little feral cat, if you will. And he just needs to wander off and be on his own for a while sometimes. And I would love to see a permutation where it’s just kind of understood that he and Huo Daofu just kind of… share Wu Xie. ^_^ Not in a threesome way, but in a way that they both understand each other’s claim on Wu Xie and neither of them wants him to be alone, so they just kind of… work that out between them. Like he's a time share. (OMG, I have to be careful of how often I use that phrase for this fic or I'm going to end up calling it that as a title. XD)

DMBJ x Highlander xover that I just came up with literally this morning: No, seriously, this LITERALLY just popped into my head as I was waking up this morning. It was a wild fucking ride, too. O_o;;; ANYWAY, I'm probably going to make a separate headcanon/plotty post for this one, but basically I just randomly woke up thinking... Duncan was an antique dealer in the late 80s/early 90s in the US. Wu Xie is an antique dealer in China, now, and his family has been involved in the antique trade for a... VERY long time. Maybe Duncan did some business with the Wu family. Maybe he met Wu Xie as a kid. Maybe he knew Xiao ge even EARLIER than that (like 100 years earlier). Maybe post-canon Highlander, Duncan starts getting back into the antique trade by helping to quietly repatriate artifacts and comes to China to deal with the Wu family to do that, and meets Wu Xie again... and Xiao ge. And has a WTF moment because Xiao ge ISN'T an Immortal like he is, but he doesn't look a day older than when they met 100 years ago and just... WTF?? And Wu Xie is looking at Duncan and looking at Xiao ge and having a WTF moment of his own because is EVERYONE immortal except him and Pangzi?? And... I just think that would be a lot of fun to play with. ;D

Guardian:

The Care and Training of a Former Megalomaniac V and VI, maybe?: OK, so this idea isn't really concrete, but I still want to play with it. I want to do something to tackle Ye Zun's past with the Rebel Leader and the trauma that that left behind, and I'm thinking he'll end up having a good (...drunk) talk with Da Qing about it.

Another idea I had (MUCH more concrete) was based off my own poor lazy bb. He LOVES to catch bugs. LOVES IT. He gets SO EXCITED and SO into it... but sometimes the bugs fly up to the ceiling. And Gabriel is comfy in my lap and doesn't want to move. So he will swat at the bug... halfheartedly. And then he will turn around and complain to me when it won't come down to be swatted at again. Like I can somehow make it come down so he can play with it? IDEK. XD ANYWAY. I had a vivid mental image of Da Qing doing this to Ye Zun and somehow convincing him to actually... bring the bug down. Using his powers. And someone at the SID detects Ye Zun using his powers so ZYL and SW race home... to find Ye Zun... using his powers... to tether bugs for Da Qing to play with. And I just think that would be hilarious. XD

...I think that's everything in the mental kiddy right now? XD

#ask meme answers #meta asks for writers meme #flamingwell #eirenical writes things #plot bunnies #guardian #the lost tomb reboot #dmbj x highlander au #i should start tagging that #granting you a dreamlike life #eirenical does whumptober #notes: legacies found #notes: legacies lost #eirenical does whumptober 2020

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monsieur-hadrien · 4 years

Text

Harry Potter Fanfic Recommendations continued...

I did one of these lists back in June, and y’all KNOW! that I have even more to share with the world.

This list is a mix between crossovers and single-fandom fics, and are drarry or rarepair-centric, but either way I’ll mark which are which when I get to it.

If you want to see what I’ve been enjoying lately, check out my bookmarks on the Archive

Man of Iron, Child of Magic by zathara001

Harry Potter and MCU, no slash, 107k word count, 32 chapters, completed, teen

In the aftermath of the Chitauri invasion, Tony Stark sorts out his priorities - including one he didn't think he had.

Okay I followed this one from the beginning as a WIP because this is exactly the fic that I was looking for. Tony being Irondad for Harry is the most wholesome thing ever, and Uncle Steve is also 20/10. I will say, this fic is not as dark as a lot of this hp/mcu fics of this trope because it happens in Harry’s younger Hogwarts years and his childhood isn’t too ruined just yet. It focuses a lot on Tony’s growth as a father rather than working through Harry’s trauma (which, don’t get me wrong, that happens as well). Harry still has the naive outlook on life that a child should have and it just makes my heart swell.

Although this fic is done, the sequel has not been uploaded yet, as this fic was just completed late August, but don’t let that deter you. The author is a sweetheart to interact with on new updates (which were quite frequent).

Golden Boy’s Dance by Madriddler

Harry Potter, Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy/Blaise Zabini, 57k word count, 13 chapters, completed, explicit

Two years after the defeat of Voldemort and Harry is feeling useless. Jobless and suffering from PTSD, Harry spent his days going from horrible interview to horrible interview hopelessly looking for a job. Feeling completely useless, Harry, with the help of George, turns to a new profession that Harry never even thought of : being a camboy. Pleasuring himself for money and people's entertainment, Harry hopes to find a use for the Savior of the Wizarding World in this Peaceful Era.

Yeah so uh,,, this is a total guilty pleasure kink fic and I’m not at all ashamed for putting this fic on here. I won’t even lie, sometimes it felt a bit cheesey, but the porn was so well written it didn’t even matter. I swear to you this is porn with plot and lots of it. Harry works through his post traumatic stress disorder in ways that may or may not be slightly unhealthy, but beyond the porn, it’s really about Harry being okay in his own skin, as someone with mental health issues and as a sex worker. It was a hell of a good time to read and I definitely cried for Harry a time or two.

A Dented Old Street Sign by orphanghost

Harry Potter, Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy, 27k word count, one-shot, completed, mature

Draco knows they aren't the only students who will be completing their NEWTs this year, but they are the only ones whose home fireplaces were disconnected from the floo network by the ministry.

At least, Draco assumes as much until he sees the light falling out from the front door of one of the other rickety old houses in front of them and the three figures cast in its warm glow. For a moment they look like some sort of strange, many legged creature. An acromantula, or a particularly massive Blast-Ended Skrewt. Then Draco hears Pansy make a disgusted sound beside him and the light falls in a less blinding way, and Draco can see that it is actually Potter and the Weasel carrying a large couch between them, and Granger fluttering around them with her wand out, seeming concerned.

I don’t think I’ve laughed this much reading a fic in a long time. The golden trio and the Slytherin gang live in the same neighborhood while attending their 8th year at Hogwarts and i swear to fucking god, the amount of mutual pining and angst between Harry and Draco is fucking ridiculous, but you can’t help but love them anyway. Sometimes I wanted to throttle them and then shove them into a closet together so they would just t a l k but like in a good way. also the Christmastime atmosphere is something I just live for.

Words Unread, Things Unsaid by PinkCrupps

Harry Potter, no slash Harry & Snape, 18k word count, 7 chapters, completed, teen

What if the Dursley’s were a little crueler, and a little smarter? What if they didn’t want Harry going to school because they didn’t want anyone to see the bruises?

What if Harry had to leave for Hogwarts, carrying a shameful secret? One that Severus Snape is determined to discover.

When I say this one hurt, I mean it h u r t. I feel so bad because when I first read the tags I laughed when I saw the illiterate tag because I make the “I can’t read” jokes often but then I read the fic and i felt SO BAD OMG.

I am no fan of Snape, let it be known, but this fic, I think made me feel like he actually deserved a bit of a redemption arc (even if it’s fanon). This whole time, all I could think of is giving harry a big hug and never letting him go.

I said this in the notes of my bookmark, and I stand by it: “

I feel like the hurt/comfort tag on this one is also meant for the reader”

What Happens to the Heart by Mossycoat

Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, 33k word count, 18 chapters, completed, mature

With no girlfriend, no job, and no idea what he wants, Harry has decided to let life go on without him. If only prophetic dreams, demanding ghosts, and Draco Malfoy would let him.

If you need a pick-me-up after the sadness for the prior fic, may i recommend this one. Seer!Harry is a headcanon that I had never seen before this fic, and I was not let down whatsoever. We love a fic where the OCs are wonderful and the writing style is immaculate. The incorporation of tarot and divination into the chapter names and plot also makes my babywitch heart s i n g!!

Wrong Place, Wrong Time by Relevant_Peach

Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, 70k word count, 15 chapters, completed, no rating specified, but probably teen/ mature for mental health tingz

Draco Malfoy would do anything to find a cure for his son's life-threatening disease. When he crosses paths with an old acquaintance, it unleashes a string of events that will uncover secrets and deceptions. Will Draco be able to look past the misdeeds of his old lover's past? Will Harry ever find the family he longs for?

Ah yes, who knew that pain could feel so good. Everything seems to be fine until it isn’t with this one.

Turn by Saras_Girl

Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, 306k word count, 14 chapters, completed, explicit

One good turn always deserves another. Apparently.

oh my goD yes a classic we love to see it. This is one of those fics that is long but doesn’t reallly feel like it is? This is definitely another feel-good fic, even if it doesn’t seem that way in the beginning. Not only does it focus on Harry and Draco’s relationship, but also their relationships with their family, specifically their children. It’s just really heartwarming whenever Harry get’s all fatherly with his kids. ugh I swear I don’t want any but this is just SO ADORABLE! Plus Blaise Zabini rights thank you very much.

Also Boris can suck my left toe.

There’s a Pureblood Custom For That by Lomonaaeren

Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, 105k word count, 36 chapters, completed, mature

The day that Harry stops Draco Malfoy and his son from being bothered in the middle of Diagon Alley starts a strange series of interactions between him and Malfoy. Who knew there was a pure-blood custom for every situation?

This is another fluffier one, and I have absolutely no shame. Draco is just trying so hard to get through Harry’s thick, clueless skull and Harry is just trying to understand. They’re just so adorable I can’t. And Harry defending Draco’s and his relationship after people are like fuck naw just warms my heart. Like yes Harry, protect ur mans you adorable himbo you.

Our Own Demons by Emmalie22

Harry Potter, MCU, Harry Potter & Tony Stark, Harry Potter/Peter Parker, 119k word count, 24 chapters, WIP, teen/mature

Tony Stark. Genius. Billionaire. Philanthropist. Ironman. (Reckless. Lonely. Father.)

Harry Potter. The Boy Who Lived. The Chosen One. Wizard. (The Master of Death. Survivor. Breaking.)

Tony Stark never thought he would be a father. But when a lawyer comes knocking and truths become evident, he realizes that he can’t let his son walk out of his life. For Harry, acknowledging his relationship with Tony is a last-ditch effort to gain freedom and control over his life. Although the journey might not be easy, Tony and Harry learn to heal and become a family, facing trials and tribulations on the way such as a scheming Death, a Mad Titian, Dark Wizards, dangerous Doctors, and living Wards.

I’m so sorry to give you a WIP that hasn’t been updated in 10 months, but I couldn’t let this one slide. I’m so attached to these characters it’s unhealthy. I’m not gonna lie, this fic was the product of a very hyperspecific filtered search on AO3 but I’m not even mad at it. Tony is Harry’s father but unlike the other fic on this rec list, Harry is a bit more grown up and bears a lot of the scars of 5th year (y’all don’t need me to specify with that one). It’s a lovely family dynamic and super fluffy Peter and Harry wow we love to see it. Harry is also super fucking smart AS HE IS! I will never get over people calling him stupid ugh Harry rights. But yes, author friend, if you see this, update when you can I’m so in love with this.

If anybody wants me to do more specific lists, I will totally do so. Just reblog or private message me. And if you have any other fic recs, please do so too because I’m always looking for something else to read.

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ariaadagio · 4 years

Note

6, 13 and 28 (castaway) for the ask meme? i binged the whole show last week and fell into your ao3 profile and you've really cemented my love for chloe and lucifer

Thanks for the ask, and the kind words, and welcome, welcome, welcome to the fandom :)

If you’re really concentrating, how many words can you write in a day?

I usually shoot for around 1,200-1,500 words per day. That’s a low stress number for me, usually. I can write 5-6k words in a day if I’m really into it. My record is around 18k in a weekend, which I guess would average to 9k a day.

Is there a trope you wouldn’t write if it was the last trope on earth?

I’m torn between saying A/B/O or high school AU. Squick to both for different reasons.

In Castaway, what is a happy, post-fic headcanon you have about Deckerstar?

Well, I kinda sorta already wrote my happy, post-fic headcanon for Castaway in the sequel, Stars Like Angels Fall. Which, in case you have not yet read it, focuses a lot on them establishing a relationship and learning how live successfully in each other’s spaces. In terms of a happy, post-fic headcanon for SLAF? Lucifer is totally gonna give Trixie driving lessons, someday. She’ll prefer his teaching to Chloe’s, actually, because Chloe shrieks in terror too much whenever Trixie does something perilous, like, say, merge without checking her side-mirrors, first.

#ask aria #on fanfiction #deckerstar #stuckfic #starsfic

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alpha-exodus · 4 years

Text

2019 Writing in Review

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2019. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

Tysm @quicksilvermaid for tagging me :’)

I came out of hiatus midway through 2019, so I actually squinted at this and was like, did I even write 5 works last year? I had to go and look at the Excel sheet I use to track my word counts (borrowed as always from the wonderful @tryslora) and it turns out that I did, in fact, just barely! My total word count for the year was ~102k (not all published), which I’m incredibly happy with considering I didn’t have words come out of me for so long <3

So, here’s my list of 2019 favorites for anyone who is interested! Please read the warnings if you decide to click on any of the links~

1. you, a violent desire - drarry, E, 47k - The Amortentia was an accident—but only the first time.

This was my Erised submission for the year!! I’ve wanted to do a terrible pining-filled unhealthy love potion fic for a really long time, and Q’s sign-up was absolutely perfect for it. It also meant I finally got to make use of some fun vague headcanons I had with @drarrytrash eons ago, hahaha. If you’re into punching and bad decisions and falling in (fake) love over and over again (like I obviously am), I hope you’ll consider reading it :’)

2. All Your Stars In View - drarry, M, 18k - Life after the war is difficult for Harry, especially when the only thing that makes him feel better is, oddly enough, being around Malfoy. So when Malfoy asks to paint his portrait, Harry can't refuse, even if it means baring himself in more ways than one.

My other longerish fic for the year - this was my third time participating in hd fanfair, which seems to be a fest where it’s dangerous for me to look through the prompt list (and by dangerous I mean it never fails to make me want to write things.) Truly though, I’m really proud of the emotions I managed to pull out here. And there’s also, y’know, Draco painting Harry almost naked, so there’s that lol

3. A Little Less Lonely - drarry, E, 3.5k - All Harry wanted for Christmas was to see his friends - but the company he ends up with isn't who he expected.

This is a PWP I wrote for hd owlpost. It contains exactly one line that I’m overly proud of along with a mishmash of some tropes that were pretty fun to write as well :’)

4. ‘Til It All Burned Down - drarry, E, 5.5k - Half of the reason Draco likes his job is because he gets to stare at Potter with his shirt off.

Y’know when it’s summer and it’s really hot outside and you’re daydreaming about fun pining!drarry doing some fun and sexy yardwork? Yep. That’s this fic ahaha

5. A Summer Storm, Ephemeral - tomione, M, 7k - In the middle of summer 1943, Tom meets a girl.

One of the mods for hp drizzle put out a call for a few more rarepair fics, and my brain went, you know what? Let’s write tomione! (me, squinting at my brain still: where did that come from??) (actually I do know where it came from - if you’re ever interested in this ship go read Nightmare by provocative envy. it’s the only reason I’m even tangentially interested in this pair lol) At any rate, idk if I’d write this ship again since it’s pretty morally ambiguous (shrug), but it was fun while it lasted!

I’m not going to tag anyone in particular since I’m sure this post has made the rounds already, but feel free to do it if you’d like <3

#personal #writing #mine #fic recs

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grandmasterreigen · 5 years

Note

do you have more mp100 fic recs?

I have so many you have no idea

I’m gonna try to stick to my absolute favs so this listdoesn’t get out of control, and for the same reason any that appeared on the reigen&teru list(which you can find here) aren’t gonna be repeated.

Temporary Accommodationsby Originia (T / 48k words / completed)

basically, mob’s body gets kidnapped but his soul ends up inreigen’s body. it’s been a couple years since I last read it so I don’tremember a lot of the details, but it was one of the first mp100 fics I readand I remember loving it so much. there’s some really good hurt/comfort, it’ssuper well-written, and I am therefor the great reigen&mob content. it’s tagged with manga spoilers but I don’tremember if it’s post s2 spoilers or not, sorry!

Mob Boss by esama (T /6k words / wip)

a mp100/naruto crossover where reigen somehow ends up in thenaruto world, but doesn’t realize it. it’s. so. funny. I was dying the whole time I was reading it, and I’ve rereadit several times since then. you don’t even really need to know anything aboutthe naruto world to enjoy it. it’s crack of the best sort, and it makes mereally sad that it’ll probably never be continued.

tomorrow isn’t always anotherday by suitablyskippy (G / 18k words / completed)

this one’s also really funny! reigen and mob end up stuck ina time loop. it’s a pretty lighthearted fic with a lot of hijinks &shenanigans and a really good sense of humor. the reigen&mob friendship isgreat, too!

Sure As the Setting Sunby bunnyscribe (G / 66k words / wip)

a mp100/boku no hero academia crossover set in the bnhaverse! it’s super well-written and I always look forward to the updates. normallyI’d think a crossover where mob is enrolled in the hero course would end upwith him being kinda ooc, but the author did an amazing job at making sure heretained his values and stays true to himself. I love his and midoriya’sfriendship.

Opposites Attract byJanekfan (G / 7k words / completed)

in which reigen wakes up with psychic powers. it focusesalmost exclusively on reigen/serizawa and their budding relationship and it’sreally really cute! there’s a good balance of fluff and angst.

Live & letghost (the dying of a star) by Tyranno (T / 11k words / completed)

I’ve been following this fic since the first chapter droppedand it’s so amazing!! it’s an au where reigen dies before ever meeting mob, buthe wakes up as a ghost instead. it’s very angsty, but has a good amount ofhurt/comfort to balance it off. I’m a little afraid of saying too much becauseI don’t want to spoil anything, but check it out – don’t let the majorcharacter death warning turn you off from reading it!

Actions Speak Louder ThanWords by Hino (T / 4k words / completed)

this fic is set immediately after the mogami arc and dealswith the fallout – where mob goes mute. there’s definitely a bit of angst (itwould be more surprising if there wasn’t considering when it’s set) but thedad!reigen vibes in this fic are so great. I’m really in love with the “reigenknows sign language” headcanon.

Half of what you think of meby piperita (T / 4k words / completed)

reigen gets hit by a truth curse. it’s angsty in the bestway with some really good reigen&mob interaction. it deals with reigen’sself-esteem issues in a way that feels very real and not like something thatcan be easily fixed, and I think about it a lot.

When Life Gives You Lemonsby Frecklefrog (T / 3k words / completed)

there’s so much I want to say about this fic but I don’twant to spoil anything, so I’m restraining myself here. I was almost cryingthis fic made me laugh so much. it’s shou&teru-centric, which was reallyfun. it’s ridiculous and I love it.

wake byamaranthinecanicular (G / 8k words / completed)

the 2nd-person pov (mob’s) threw me for a loopwhen I started reading this fic, but it’s one of those that does it really,really well and it’s stuck with me. please don’t let it turn you off!! it’s anageswap fic with an adorable young reigen and a really nice teru/mobrelationship, a lot of angst and an ending that made my heart really happy.

Serizawa Katsuya vs. TheWorld by sofia_estrella (G / 6k words / completed)

it’s technically a serizawa/reigen fic, but this one focusesmostly on serizawa and his interactions with all the protective children whowant to vet him before he can date their pseudo-dad. it’s so cute and fluffyand I love everything about it! all these kids looking out for reigen is just tooprecious. it’s set during/after the reigen manga, so spoiler-alert if you’reanime-only!

I know I didn’t get nearly all of the great fics I’ve readand would rec, but hopefully this gives you a few to start with! make sure toleave kudos/comments on any that you enjoy!

#mp100 #mob psycho 100 #reigen arataka #shigeo kageyama #serizawa katsuya #fic rec #fanfic #more recs whooooo #i literally run a fic rec blog so this is my normal #fic rec list #asks #anonymous #aeru.stuff

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sterekshaven · 5 years

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Author Asks

Rules: answer these questions and tag five other fic writers to do the same.

I was tagged by @novemberhush and @rieraclaelin! Thank you! ♥

Author Name: Smowkie (except on tumblr, where it’s this blog, not my smowkie blog xD)

Fandoms You Write For: Sterek. I have a couple of WIPs that are for other fandoms/ships, but I kinda doubt I’ll ever post anything but Sterek.

Where You Post: ao3 (fics/drabbles), tumblr, and pillowfort.

Most Popular One-Shot: According to ao3 statistics, based on kudos, it’s Kyle’s great plan =) (3k, outsider pov, bamf Stiles)

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: Well, Stay is the only multi-chapter story I have, so xD (18k, 5+1 bedsharing fic)

Favourite Story You Wrote: I’m gonna go with Puppy howl for that, though honestly, it varies. It depends on a lot of things (and sometimes it’s WIPs too), but I really do like Puppy howl. =) (5,5k, Derek gets de-aged and turned into a puppy, Stiles (and John) takes care of him)

Story You Were Nervous to Post: All of them xD It’s always nervous to post fics, but for most nervous I’m gonna say it’s a toss-up between three of my fics, A touch so right (7,6k of explicit Sterek with prostitute Stiles, the first explicit thing I ever posted (probably the only explicit fic I’ll ever post, tbh), which was nerve-wracking), Consent is Sexy (1,9k, about assumed consent between Sterek, that was hard to post because it’s a very important topic and I was scared I somehow would fuck it up and that people would be angry with me) and In your head (5,9k where they get to see inside each other’s heads, which was scary to post because I poured a lot of my headcanons about Derek in there, and I didn’t know how it’d be received (it’s honestly one of my favorite fics of mine, and I liked it a lot when I posted it, so that made it harder too, what if people hated it when I liked it so much?)).

How Do You Pick Your Titles: Lol. I just go with the first thing that comes to mind that I can stand for the fic. I’m horribly bad at titling fics, and it’s one of the things I like the least about writing, it’s so hard, and I always end up with titles I don’t really like but at least it has a title, so whatever, kinda xD @rieraclaelin gets to hear me whine about titles a lot when I post things, the worst are the drabbles tbh, just 100 words and to post them on ao3 I have to give them a title, like? It barely has words in it, and I have to figure out a title for it? Awful. xD

Do You Outline: Not really, no. It’s something I should do, so I don’t write myself into corners all the time or write several k into something that doesn’t work/that I hate/don’t like/have to rewrite if I want to continue, etc., but outlining kinda sucks the fun out of writing for me, so *shrugs*

How Many Of Your Stories Are Complete: All of my posted ones are complete, but uh *glances at WIP folder*

In-Progress: In progress are just... well, technically it’s actually none atm, but I did write like 70k of a zombie apoc recently (except I didn’t outline, and now I don’t like what I’ve written (kinda. I do love parts of it), so I’ve kinda abandoned it, because I have to rewrite like at least half of it if I’m ever gonna get anywhere else with it, which, naah), and a couple of k of a post apoc after that (that one didn’t suck me in though, idk), so those were both in progress just days ago, but I doubt I’ll get back to them. Honestly, my WIP folder... there are so many started fics, so many almost finished fics, so many ideas and outlines and whatnot, and it happens that I go back to one of them and add things, making it into something that’s actually in progress, but most of the time they just sit there. I have some that I really want to finish though, so, maybe ten?

Coming Soon: Well, that is a very good question.

Do You Accept Prompts: Definitely, yes. Absolutely. I currently have one prompt in my inbox that I haven’t managed to write for, but all the other prompts I’ve gotten sent to me have been written, and getting prompts is generally the only way to get me to finish and post things these days (which makes that unfilled one in my inbox even more annoying, argh! I wanna write it, it’s a good prompt, but I’ve tried so many times and I just can’t, I don’t know why, it’s super frustrating).

I have the BTHB tropes post that I definitely still take prompts for, and I honestly love the two prompts I got for the “I wish you’d write a fic where...” post I reblogged, they were both great prompts and super easy for me to write (first and second), but honestly, any kind of prompts are welcome.

Upcoming Story You’re the Most Excited For: I’m gonna go with the next finished one. xD I have WIPs I’m super excited about, that I love, but that I’m also kinda sure I’ll never finish, sooo, yeah, the next fic I finish is the one I’m the most excited for. I can’t wait! xD

I tag... uh. I’ve seen this go around, but I can’t remember who has done it, so if you have, just ignore my tag (unless you wanna do it again, that is xD), and I’m just gonna tag some authors I know: @yodas-yo-yo @crazyassmurdererwall@fivescupofcoffee @fandommadememad @fastfadingfiction @anefan @misfitmonarchythings @mutualpiningandawkwardness @welshwoman1988 =) As always though, no pressure if I’ve tagged you, these are supposed to be for fun =)

#About Smowkie #tagged stuff #ask thingie #meme #Smowkie writes #my writing #(also sorry if I didn't tag you i suck at remembering things i didn't mean anything by not tagging you i promise)#(and also if you wanna do this and haven't gotten a tag you can definitely claim one from me!)#(and also also I just saw I was supposed to tag five people oops)

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aphrodaisyacs · 5 years

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Stoki Fic Rec List

No Six Sentence Sunday this week just me and my first ever fic rec list. This is the result of me caring too much for a rarepair that not enough of the fandom cares about but ANYWAY. The fic rec lists I’ve seen for this pairing are quite a few years old, so I decided to make a new one of my own. The list is sorted in chronological order of the MCU timeline, and also quite long, which is why I put it under a read more:

under bright stars burning by @thelightofthingshopedfor (nearly 21k words, Teen and Up)

When Steve is a kid, he meets a boy named Loki who says he's a prince and shows him real magic. It's kind of weird (but that doesn't mean he doesn't like it).

A fic where Steve and Loki sort-of grow up together, but it’s still set in the canon-verse (don’t worry, the timeline discrepancy gets explained). Kid!Loki and Kid!Steve are so damn adorable, there’s quite a bit of angst between them but there’s also more than enough hurt/comfort to make up for it. I was so disappointed when this fic ended where it did, because I enjoyed it so much that I wanted it to go on forever.

Silver Moon by aurilly (23k+ words, Mature)

Steve and Bucky meet a weirdly dressed guy who claims to be a banished prince from some place they've never heard of. Most New Yorkers would have left the lunatic right where they found him, but Steve and Bucky have never been good at doing things the easy way.

Okay so I cheated a bit, because this fic is actually Steve/Loki/Bucky, but. It is so well-written that I’m including it in this list anyway. In this universe Loki discovers his heritage far earlier than in canon, which leads to a series of events resulting in him getting his powers stripped then banished to pre-WWII Midgard- specifically, Brooklyn. After repeatedly failing to convince Heimdall to return him to Asgard, Loki eventually settles into a life with Steve and Bucky. But then WWII happens. Slow build, quite a bit of angst, but there’s an optimistic ending.

Those Who Favor Ice by CatalenaMara (18k+ words, Explicit)

“You haven’t said anything incorrectly so far,” Steve said, and could hear an edge in his voice.

“Men of such beauty and strength and talent often feel they must outshine everyone they meet. That they must cast a very large shadow so that the world sees only them.”

So many emotions crossed Loki’s face so quickly that Steve could only interpret a few. Resentment. And longing. And need.

“I wasn’t always strong,” Steve said slowly. “Not as a child. I was sickly - so weak that anyone could beat me.”

Loki’s gaze sharpened. “And did they? Beat you?”

Don’t mind me I just love fics that feature Jotunn!Loki and/or Loki dealing with his heritage and Jotunheim in general. We get to see a possibility of what might have been if Heimdall hadn’t betrayed King Loki, which apparently involves Loki running off to become King of Jotunheim and later Steve’s lover. Beautiful prose, smut that doubles as character study, A+.

Madness by @scotlandevander (19k+ words, Teen and Up)

Time makes a deal and when Time makes a deal, it plays out till it is fulfilled. Steve Rogers is learning this the hard way and he’s quite sure it’ll end in madness.

Steve is stuck in a time loop spanning from the moment he wakes up in the 21st century to the events of T:DW. Needless to say it doesn’t take very long for him to run out of fucks to give. I really love the gradual development of Steve’s relationships with Bruce, Natasha and of course Loki throughout the loops. The progression of Stoki is slow mainly because Steve’s a useless bisexual and nice to read. Definitely one of my all-time favourites for this ship.

Living Contradiction by Ebyru (1k+ words, Teen and Up)

Loki hates Captain America, but over time he realizes it’s a lie.

Excerpt: "Captain America is brave, strong, independent and an astounding leader. Maybe no-one can tell, but far beneath the mask of strength he wears and the flag he carries, Loki can see he’s just a follower."

Something short and sweet set vaguely post-Avengers (2012). Contemplative character study as Loki learns more about the man underneath the Captain America costume. I recommend this if you’re in the mood for a quick pre-slash read.

In The Land of Gods and Monsters by thisiswhatthewatergaveme (nearly 5k words, Explicit)

Steve makes a mistake: he lets his guard down. He lets a momentary relief cloud his judgment. He doesn’t spring into action when Loki spins around and presses a tight-lipped kiss against his mouth. Doesn’t even move when it softens, slightly, Loki’s hands curling over his arms.

And then the god is gone and Steve realizes something important. He realizes, perhaps for the first time, that there are different kinds of war.

While the author has tagged this fic as Porn Without Plot, I think it’s more accurate to say that there is plot, it’s just that the entire plot is centred on the build-up to the porn. And said build-up is mostly Loki catching Steve unawares to kiss him, interspersed with Steve suffering some moral crises over being attracted to his enemy.

Thawing Universe by Vulcanmi (17k+ words, Teen and Up)

A what if that starts after the events of Thor: the Dark World but before Winter Soldier. What if Loki had gotten tired of playing Odin?

Parts 1, 2 & 3 are purely Stoki, while part 4 & 5 are Thor/Bucky-centric with background Stoki. Loki gets bored of pretending to be Odin rather quickly, and thus he goes down to Earth to continually invite himself over to Steve’s apartment. Steve has exactly zero say in all of this. This series makes the pairing seem way more adorable than it has any right to be, all the while keeping everyone in-character. Part 1 builds the relationship, part 2 has the other Avengers reacting to it, and part 3 has Steve finally getting off his useless bisexual ass and asking Loki out for real. One of my favourite depictions of this pairing for sure.

Strange Love by @dvswraatins (12k words, Teen and Up)

It starts with a simple taunt.

Spoiler alert: the aforementioned “taunt” is Loki putting on a great show of seducing Steve in order to piss off Thor. Featuring Loki being unapologetically a piece of shit, Loki as a part-time Avenger and narration that becomes hilariously descriptive whenever Thor enters the picture. One of the things I adore about this fic is that it explores a dynamic for this pairing I didn’t know I needed- of Loki trying to use Steve for his own gain, but Steve manipulating him right back.

The Dreamfasting by suchaprettyface (80k+ words, Explicit)

This is the highly unlikely and yet somehow inevitable story of how Captain Steve Rogers, Avenger, becomes the lover of Loki Odinson, younger prince of Asgard and Public Enemy Number 1 according to the FBI database of known offenders.

Steve and Loki discover quite by accident that they are connected by a very old form of magic whose initial purpose seems to be getting them in each other's pants as often as possible. But there's far, far more at work than that...

To break this series down to its bare essentials: lots of porn + lots of plot. Post-AoU, Loki gets captured by SHIELD but almost immediately after Steve runs into him again, the two of them begin sharing wet dreams. The more dreams they share, the stronger the indescribable connection between them grows. Yet, in the background of all the dream-fucking, there is the mystery of why these dreams even exist in the first place, as well as Steve finding himself physically changed by them.

Look At Me Now by @arimabat (33k+ words, Teen and Up)

Steve is on the run. His already complicated life becomes just a little more complicated when an old enemy shows up unexpectedly. But Loki has changed since their last encounter and he could have crucial information to stop a fast-approaching threat. If he’s willing to tell Steve.

Or, the one where Loki keeps bothering Steve until he figures out a way to get something useful out of it and then it all just becomes a mess.

Post-Civil War, pre-Ragnarok. Loki is absolutely delighted by a jaded, cynical Steve, and Steve is very much unamused by the unwanted attention. Steve attempts to take advantage of this attention anyway by interrogating Loki about the Infinity Stones, which leads to the gradual development of a relationship neither of them expected. I absolutely love the conversations and banter between everyone in this fic- not just between Steve and Loki, but also between Steve, Natasha, Sam and Wanda. However, (spoiler alert) the ending for this fic isn’t all too happy BUT the good news is that it’s part of a series, which isn’t complete yet at the time I’m typing this up.

Be My All-American Boy by @gavotteangel (6k+ words, Teen and Up)

It's Steve Rogers' birthday and it's Independence Day. Naturally, the freshly reunited Avengers vacation to a lake house and throw him a party. Nothing goes as expected.

Or: LOKI HAS A BIG FAT CRUSH HAPPY 4TH OF JULY FOLKS

Post-Ragnarok, post-Civil War, with a dose of Infinity War being cancelled. Highlights include Loki having a crush on bearded!Steve and abhorring the fact that the crush even exists in the first place, Loki trying his best to hold back his stabby instincts on his new allies, Loki and Natasha being drinking buddies and Loki eating the rest of Steve’s birthday cake out of pure pettiness.

I’m also going to shamelessly self-promote and rec my own series Mischief Managed (nearly 20k words, Teen and Up)

Set post-Ragnarok in an AU where Infinity War is cancelled and Steve and Tony have gotten their shit together.

The series follows Steve and Loki while they form an unlikely bond as they team up to prank others, again and again.

Initially based on this headcanon, with Steve getting the opportunity to confront Loki about it, which somehow leads to both of them teaming up to prank the rest of the Avengers. Part 2 expands on the unlikely friendship they formed in part 1, except this time Steve and Loki take advantage of the media circus and fake date to piss off homophobes. Meanwhile, the Avengers are forced to watch this train wreck happen in real time. According to the comments this series is funny enough that it made people laugh not that I’d be able to judge properly since I’m the one who wrote it.

Tangerines are Sweet Enough by @fel-as-in-tumbld (4k+ words, General)

(Steve is seven, cold and hungry and it's Christmas morning; he's seven, sitting on the floor, pulling perfect miniature suns out of the foot of his stocking. Tangerines; he's seven, and he can feel the flesh tear under his thumbnail, can taste the burst of flavour on his tongue, the juice slide down his throat; he's seven, and he's sitting with his mother and everything has been cold and hunger, but there is this--tangerines, like eating the sun with his mother, and the warmth of her laughter--

Steve hasn't eaten a tangerine since she died, since Bucky vanished off to war; too many memories, too much intimacy.

Post-Infinity War fic where Loki actually gets revived I’m looking at you Russos. It has beautiful prose which sets a soft, wistful tone to the whole thing, helped by the fact that it takes place during the winter holidays. Steve and Loki’s relationship here is... well, melancholic, mostly, but it does end on a warm note.

This rec list only reflects my personal reading experiences (and are also only limited to AO3), so feel free to add more suggestions in reblogs or replies!

Honorary mention goes to Remember This Cold by @veliseraptor (nearly 800k words, ranges from General to Explicit depending on the part) which I didn’t include in the main list because let’s be real, anyone who’s looking for Stoki fic recs has already read this series.

#stoki #fic recs

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