#because lupin does leave the gang hanging a LOT

[sideshow-cellophane-blog]

More tickle prompt requests! Polygang but mostly JigZeni/ZeniJig

~~~

“Awfully cocky for someone in your position!”

"You're under arrest!" Zenigata insisted. He was furiously pulling at the myriad of handcuffs attached to his arms and legs, caught in a bed trap that Lupin had crudely installed. The trap served as an alarm system and clock, because Zenigata had started yelling as soon as he had awakened.

Anyone would if they woke up with their arms and legs trapped. His uniform had been completely removed when Goemon went to work cleaning and fixing their unconscious detective, but it sat folded neatly on a dresser in the room. He had his boxers, but his undershirt had been cut open hastily when they saw blood. Zenigata's left knee was in a brace and several scrapes on his torso were bandaged. 

"Careful Pops, you'll tear Goemon's bandaging," Jigen insisted. "Settle down."

The shrieking and thrashing paused, and Zenigata resembled a very angry (angey?) panting animal. "What is this?!"

"You were caught in some falling wreckage. We didn't think you had broken anything, but we couldn't leave you on the island," Jigen sat beside Zenigata on the bed. "Calm down, you're in no position to get aggressive on me."

These words served little purpose. Zenigata was giving him venom with a dark look. "Why am I tied up?!"

"Cuz' Lupin knew you'd wake up feeling violent and swinging. Your right bicep is bruised, your right knee was all twisted. Goemon fixed you up and Lupin made sure you wouldn't hurt yourself or arrest us when you woke up. Nothin' personal."

Zenigata slowed his breathing and seemed to relax somewhat. Now that the adrenaline was wearing off he could feel the throbbing in his leg. "Where are they?"

"Avenging you out there. We're on the mainland."

He fully relaxed at those words, and Jigen thought it almost cute how he melted back into the bed. "You gonna free me or what?"

"So you can try to arrest me?" Jigen laughed. "Not yet, Pops. Ready to take some painkillers? You need 'em?" He reached for the bottle on the nightstand and a glass of water.

"...Yeah," Now that he knew he couldn't do anything, and that they had cared for him in their own private way they usually did, Zenigata allowed Jigen to slip the pills into his mouth and take offered sips of water. Hopefully it would take the edge off of the throbbing in his leg. "So…"

"Yeah," Jigen chuckled. "Lemme check your bandages, see if you loosened them. I'm watching you till they get back. There's leftovers in the fridge but I can make you a sandwich or some fresh noodles if you want," As he spoke he moved his hands over Zenigata's braced leg, checking to make sure that it hadn't slipped or gotten caught in the sheets. He checked the skin above, tracing over it to make sure nothing was snagged and the brace wasn't too tight.

He looked up at Zenigata's silence to see a much softer, and slightly more nervous, expression. He paused. "What?"

Zenigata blinked and seemed to shake some unknown emotion off. "Nothing. I-I'm fine. I forgot you're the mother hen is all."

"Mother hen?" Jigen snorted as he resumed his check-up. He traced a scratch over Zenigata's thigh and it twitched. He grabbed some ointment from the nightstand and began to apply it to the missed wound. "Sorry . . . Yeah, I'd say Goemon is more like the hen. He's the calmest one. Or maybe we're just becoming more domestic in our old age, it's - what, am I tickling you?" The leg had begun to shake, and Jigen had to stop again. He smirked at Zenigata's nervous expression and shy grin he was definitely trying to push down and hide.

"J-just be more careful," He said weakly. 

"You go from a hundred to zero real quick, and vice versa," Jigen chuckled. "Emotional whiplash."

Zenigata opened his mouth to retort and shut it with a second thought. Jigen had moved up to a bandage just below his ribs, checking the surrounding area with gentle fingers that were too gentle. He couldn't help it. He had to squirm away with a soft giggle. "Let mehe move my arms down at leheast!"

"Stop moving you cocky bastard," Jigen laughed. "I'm making sure you're okay!" 

"You're tickling me!"

"Not on purpose!" He was laughing with Zenigata as his wandering hands checked each scratch, each bandage, also blatantly exploring his detective's body while he had him here. "Stop squirming, you're as bad as Lupin!" 

"I cahan't!"

Zenigata's torso was riddled with as many scars as Jigen had. It was normally Lupin's department to explore Zenigata's body, usually very drunkenly and hastily in the wee hours of those secret mornings and nights when no one was watching. Jigen and Goemon rarely got to spend any similar alone time together with their fifth partner. 

Jigen suddenly appreciated the time he had now with Zeni, and this rare opportunity. 

"S-stahahap!" Zenigata finally giggled out. "It tihihickles! Ihit tickles!" 

Jigen determined that the ticklish reactions meant that  Zenigata was ultimately fine. He had scratches and bruises and a twisted knee that would take several days and ice to heal, but he was fine. And that meant he didn't need to feel guilty about giving in to his innermost desire at this very moment.

"Ya know," He set his hand on Zenigata's belly, enjoying how it sucked in at his very innocent touch. "Goemon's been the only beefcake we've gotten to play with recently…" His hand circled around the navel, enjoying how it twitched and moved. "You haven't gotten to spend any time with us like this in what, months? We've missed you." He stopped moving, letting his fingers sit like the implication of his words.

Zenigata's eyes widened, and his face flushed at the poorly veiled flirting (and much more purposeful tickling). "I…You guys have been on the run," He said in a more somber tone. "Lupin hasn't let me catch up and Yata is up my ass making sure I don't …"

Do this with him.

It didn't need to be said out loud. Jigen's shoulders slumped. He retracted his playful hand in sudden embarrassment. "Yeah. He's been hard for us to keep up with recently too," He admitted. "Lupin always has everyone running after him. Not just you." His chest tightened.

Zenigata moved his hips, the handcuff chains rattling on his arms. "We've always said that. At least you have Goemon when Lupin is running around. I'm chasing him alone."

"Not always," Jigen answered a little too defensively. "We're split up doing our own jobs a lot. You just have eyes for Lupin alone, is all." He stood, playful demeanor entirely gone now. "I'll make you some noodles 'til he's back. Let you rest."

"No, hey," Zenigata called as he started to leave. "Jigen. Stop, come back! Don't leave like that. You know what I mean."

"We know you love him," Jigen turned back. His voice trembled. "But he'll pick you up, make you feel like the friggin' world is brighter than it is, and leave you rubbing your eyes an' picking up the pieces as he moves on to the next treasure."

"...We've had this conversation before. You're usually the one he leaves me for."

"He wants you chasing him." 

"And I love you guys too," He insisted. "Even if you're law-breaking bastards. We…We have each other when he's too far ahead."

Jigen sat back down on the bed with a hefty sigh. "He can be a bastard, huh? Guess I'm just as guilty about leaving you behind...." He brushed a knuckle over Zenigata's cheek. "Let's keep this about us?"

Zenigata flushed again and nodded. He had leaned into the touch.

"...Goemon and I love the chase too, you know. Having you here like this is really the best prize we could hope for, even if you can't be around peacefully all the time."

"You mean all tied up with nowhere to go? . . . There's a smile," Zenigata matched the small one appearing on Jigen's face. "You assholes better not tickle me the entire time I'm here."

"No? Even if you like it, beefcake?"

Zenigata's face flushed darker, and that spread to his ears. "Don't call me that!"

"Beefcake? You're built like one."

"Let me go and I'll show you where to put those words," His eyes twinkled. He was playful.

How rare was that?

"You're pretty cocky for someone in your position," Jigen repeated his earlier sentiment. He slid his fingers into the curve just below Zenigata's ribs, and he arched his back with a delighted cackle. "I think I'll keep you riiiiiiight here. Riiiiiiight here warming you up."

"Nohoho! Hehehey!"

"It isn't fair, but neither is how cute your smile is. Look at that. I might keep you to myself to teach you," He moved up the ribs, over a bandage, and straight into the armpits where Zenigata's worst spot was. He forgot how Lupin had learned that, but the gang all knew about the spot that got their detective going faster than tickling Lupin's neck did to him. "Teach you that I'm the one you should be chasing when Lupin is too far ahead. Anytime you need a drink, anytime you're lonely. Alright?"

Zenigata had fallen into snorting and cackling too hard and fast to respond. Bare skin tickles in his worst spot was undeniably the cruelest torture, and undoubtedly the fastest way to get him in a much better mood when it wasn't abused during one of Lupin's escapes. 

"You too far gone five seconds into some tickle torture or am I gonna hear a response?"

"ALRIGHT! AHALRIGHT!" 

"Alright what?"

"JIGEEEEEEEEN!" Hearing Zenigata roar his name like Lupin's made Jigen feel a lightness in his chest. He loved it. He forgot how his favorite detective could make him feel when Lupin wasn't their sole focus - especially when he was laughing and smiling so genuinely.

The handcuffs rattled hard, and Jigen squeezed the top two ribs as Zenigata lost his mind and twisted back and forth, and he had to stop because now a bandage really was loose. 

Chuckling together, Jigen patted it back down and gave Zenigata a kiss to the forehead. "First round's on me later, we'll cook and you'll heal."

It took Zenigata another few moments to regain his breath. He could not drop the wobbly smile. "My team'll be wondering where I am, I gotta make some calls," He rattled his trapped arms again.

Jigen hesitated, but complied. 

As soon as his arms were freed, Jigen was pulled into Zenigata's chest and his ribs were mercilessly attacked from either side. He was crushed in a very ticklish bear hug and, to keep Zenigata from being hurt anymore, had to hold off on his instincts to start throwing punches. 

"BAHASTAHAHARD!" 

"Now who's got the giggles?" Two fingers each dove between the middle ribs, and Jigen's face was (happily) buried in Zenigata's (beefy man boobs) chest as he laughed. "If this is the closest I'll get to arresting you then I'll take ihiHIHIihit!" 

Jigen had found himself again and was trying to pinch and grab the other's sides in desperate retaliation. 

It had turned into a tickle fight, which went on until Lupin and Goemon came back to find the two tangled in each other's limbs with bright smiles and lifted moods.

Jigen's clothes had also been thrown to the floor unlike the neatly folded uniform, with Zenigata's boxers that Lupin knew were still on when they left. The inspector had been completely freed of his bondage and Jigen had the sheets pulled up to his chest.

Lupin met their smiles with a look of pure hurt at the obvious betrayal. "You guys couldn't wait for us to get back?!"

"Are his bandages torn?" Goemon sighed and stepped up to check on his possibly ruined handiwork.

"Found his ticklish nipples," Jigen replied with a shrug. He exhaled cigarette smoke and plopped back down on the pillows, quite happy with how his afternoon had turned out.

Zenigata swatted at him as Lupin began to strip and complain that he should have stayed behind. Goemon tried to poke one nipple but was also slapped away.

"Ready for round two?" Lupin asked with a bright grin.

"You mean round four," Jigen cackled.

"Shaddup!" Zenigata almost slapped him again, but Lupin was already on top of him for round five.

[catchyhuh]

Well part 6 made it obvious that besides French and Japanese Lupin can talk at least in English, Italian, Russian, Spanish, German, Turkish, Korean and Dutch (gosh, he's good, I'm jelly).

What languages do the others know? I have some headcanons about Goe, but I'm curious about your ones!

well, the short of it, for all of em really, is: “do i need to learn this language to continue living for the next month? yes? ok let’s learn some conjugation.” so it’s less about which specific languages and just HOW many they know so much as how do they go about the process of learning/how do they USE the language once they’ve learned it so. IT’S A LOT

and uh also they all tend to default to japanese but you probably knew that LET’S GET INTO THE LOT

jigen:

jigen knows the least out of all of them, mostly because he. does not talk to many people. he’s an unintentional perfectionist about it in just that one sense; if he’s communicating, he wants to be SURE he’s understood, no room for misunderstanding

of course, that doesn’t mean he’s a slouch. i’m sure he can still speak, listen to, read AND write at least ten more languages than you and i can, minimum. BUT STILL, he just doesn’t want any room for misinterpretation, none whatsoever. so usually, he lets someone else do the talking, or he attempts to get by with whatever he and the other party can understand. it’s kind of funny because his stubbornness with this means a lot of times the gang will purposefully leave him to flounder, because THAT’S WHAT HE GETS FOR NOT WANTING TO REMEMBER SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS “no ice in my drink please”

because of this, he’s most proficient in READING in other languages. there’s no need for input on his end, and he can get a hang of sentence structure AND the words themselves, so there’s no embarrassment later. so particular about these things

fujiko:

the only one who can speak a language better than she can understand it being spoken to her. like jigen, she mostly learns by just reading it, (sometimes by rereading a book she already knows, so she already has an easy guide to go off of) so trying to decipher someone TALK talking at a conversational speed is. a different beast

uses the whole multilingual thing as more of a novelty than a necessity. like it’s a party trick to her. like she's a translation dictionary in the flesh! ask her how to say purple in danish! wanna know the word for cookie in malay? if you want to know how to say “penis” in 30 languages, fujiko will frown and go “c’mon. grow up." ...but she'll still answer since it’s actually still just ‘penis’ in like five different languages anyway,

this is mostly because she weaponizes the “you don’t think i can understand x language, but yes, i can, and i can hear you calling me stupid while i’m standing right fucking next to you. you will regret this in time”

goemon:

absorbs foreign languages the fastest, which is hilarious because he’s always the most stubborn about wanting to just speak his first language. i mean it’s goemon, you probably saw this coming! 

has since softened on the concept, not because of a “loosening of his personal principles,” but rather, he saw how damn DIFFICULT it made things for the average person he interacts with for two seconds of his life. it was initially easy to hold onto it, until he saw the poor waitress grin apologetically and say she was so sorry she didn’t understand. then he softened. a BIT. if you know even a smidge of japanese he’s expecting it from you. 

wore a t-shirt that said COOL GUY in big, obnoxiously american letters once for a disguise. burnt it when the operation was over. lupin has five pictures of it. goemon allows the records to exist because he is, objectively, a COOL GUY

zenigata:

the funny thing is you’d ask him about it and he’d get kind of sheepish. like, yeah, he knows (he pauses to count on his fingers for a second) 23 languages but he’s not REALLY good at most of them it’s just like a thing for WORK it’s not like he’s REALLY got them down--

again, it’s the fault of that freakish hypercompetence that comes up for rule of funny. if he’s just getting off the plane and he realizes he’s left his gloves at home and is desperately trying to find a pair, no, he can’t get through in the slightest. but if it’s LUPIN involved, oh buddy if there is an ELEMENT of DANGER AND/OR LUPIN, he just breaks out entire sentences with almost perfect pronunciation and everything, to the point the other people in the room wonder if he was faking his issues earlier. and the answer is no, he wasn’t, he just didn’t have the proper motivation. NOW he does, and NOW he can speak fucking perfect indonesian, just because!

also kind of sort of treats it as a party trick the way lupin and fujiko do if he’s in a good enough mood (but you actually do get hints of that in the show, like that one little part 3 bit!) so that’s fun

[zenni-gotcha]

Can you do a drunk lupgang around their s/o then invert it into how they would handle their s/o drunk?

[putting this one partially under a cut simply because it’s long and I don’t want to eat up people’s feed :)]

Lupin

If he’s drunk

Listen, it takes a lot to get Lupin of all people drunk

So if he’s drunk, then he is drunk

There’s one other thing that he is when he’s drunk, and that’s handsy

Not to mention, that he doesn’t care who sees him doing whatever

So, you have about ten minutes to get him somewhere private

Most of time when you do though, he passes out pretty quickly

Which is better for everyone everywhere because who knows what sort of damage a sauced Lupin III could bring upon the world

If you’re drunk

He will think it’s hilarious

Likes to try to get you to say of do stupid things

That being said, if it’s somewhere public like a bar, he’ll make sure that there’s no one else is messing with you

Maybe he won’t be completely drunk but he’ll be buzzed enough to make him giddy

That being said, he will make sire that you get back to your place safely and stay to make sure that you’re alright afterward

Won’t try anything if you’re too out of it

He might be a playboy, but he’s not that much of a scumbag

The next morning he might start hinting at some things that he’s been thinking about though

He is still Lupin after all

Jigen

If he’s drunk

Much like Lupin, it takes a lot to get him actually drunk

But, you can sort of tell when he’s getting there, as it sort of goes in stages

At first when he starts drinking he’ll loosen up a bit and start joking around a bit more

But the more drunk that he gets the more quiet he gets as well

More of a contemplative drunk than a loud, showboating drunk

He won’t want to ruin things if he thinks you’re still have a good time, so keep an eye out for him and when he might need to leave

This is the only time that he might get, “cuddly,” or at least the Jigen version of it

If you’re drunk

Like Lupin, he’ll think it’s hilarious

Unlike Lupin, he’ll only have you do embarrassing stuff if you’re not in public

Will let you do your own thing for the most part

But will also drag you home if you start getting too carried away

Will make sure that you get plenty of sleep and have painkillers for your hang over the next day

Will let you get a bit more clingy if you’re drunk, but will be sure that nothing past that happens

Goemon

If he’s drunk

The he’s sort of middle of the road when it comes to how easy he gets drunk

Might not take too much to get him loopy, but he doesn’t usually drink enough to get to that point so it usually evens out

If he does get that far, either by losing track of how many drinks he’s had or if it’s just the two of you and he doesn’t care, he will start to show a goofy side to him that people forget that he has

He will want you to get him back home as quickly as you can

While he doesn’t mind having fun with you or the rest of the gang, he will die if he does something embarrassing in front of other people

If they know who he is, that is

Sure, he’s done a lot of embarrassing things while helping Lupin, but he was always in disguise

Will literally hid in the middle of nowhere if he finds out that he did something stupid while he was drinking

If you’re drunk

He will let you have your fun

But figures that if he hated being seen doing embarrassing stuff then you probably do too

The fun comes if you’re really out of it and he has to keep you from bringing attention to the two of you while he’s trying to walk you home

That being said, he does think you’re adorable when you’re out of it, so he’ll let you be a weird as you want to be when your two are alone

Is probably the one most likely to make sure that you have all of the stuff you’ll need for the hangover in the morning ready to go

Fujiko

If she’s drunk

She gets drunk easily

But not because she has a low tolerance

It’s because she tends to prefer the heavy hitters as far as drinks go

When she does get drunk she’s more of a giggly, contemplative drunk

She more likely to say something than do something showy

Because if this, she doesn’t mind if she’s out and about when she’s buzzed

As long as there’s someone else with her to be sure that she doesn’t say or agree to anything too stupid

If you’re drunk

She might be inclined to let you do something embarrassing

But she wouldn’t let it go as long as Lupin would

You would maybe say or do one or two things, but then she would wrangle you in after that

She would be bad about encouraging you to drink too much too

Is totally the type of person that will get you to add one more after you say you’ve had enough

She’s been saying one more for about three drinks

Will actually make sure you get home a bit earlier than most of the others, aside from Goemon

She wants you to have fun, but also knows how difficult it can be to walk someone home when they’re totally wasted

Zenigata

If he’s drunk

It take a bit for him to get drunk…depending on what he’s drinking

The man can guzzle cheap beer like water and only get mildly buzzed

But the moment he gets something stronger, he is out

Mostly because he forgets that he’s drinking something with a bit of kick, and drinks the same amount

And you better get ready to get him out of there, because if you thought that he was loud when he was sober, you’ve got another thing coming

Everyone else in the bar knows that you’re there. There’s no question about that

So, unless you want everyone one within a twenty foot radius knowing all of the stuff that Lupin has done to him in the past, then you’ll want to get him home soon

The one saving grace is that he falls asleep really quickly after he gets drunk

That is, it’s a saving grace if he conks out after you get him home, and not while you’re walking him home

If you’re drunk

He doesn’t mind if you get drunk when the two of you are at home

But, will not let you stay in public while you are drunk

As your partner, it’s his job to protect you from everything, including public embarrassment

He will pick you up and carry you all the way back to where you are staying

Insists that he is fine doing it, no matter how much you insist that you are fine

What he won’t tell you is that he threw out his back carrying you for that long

Will forget how much his voice carries and give you so many headaches

He doesn’t mean to. He’s just checking in on you to make sure you’re feeling alright

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

So if Tom and Lily had been born in the same era and been schoolmates, do you think theyd have hit it off?

Anon knowingly baits me with my inexplicable OTP that I refuse to coherently explain on this blog.

Well played, anon, well played.

My answer is yes.

First, remember, I have a very peculiar view of Tom Riddle that disagrees entirely with Dumbledore and with most of canon. Specifically, I think for the most part Tom was an ordinary student, there were no miniature Death Eaters running around, he was generally tolerated by his Slytherin peers at best, and no one knew about the Chamber/he had a mental breakdown.

So, with that, let's dive in.

Lily Evans is Born in 1926

In the first case, Lily is born during the depression in a presumably still low-income neighborhood. There's no Severus Snape there though and so she has no explanation of her abilities (unless we're really cheating in this AU you set up and Wool's is just down the street and she's in the East End. In which case Tom is the new Severus and they run around thinking they're gods until Dumbledore Comes to deliver letters/light wardrobes on fire.)

Regardless, Lily then shows up to Hogwarts, muggleborn woman, gets sorted into Gryffindor, and learns very quickly that she's at the bottom of the totem pole again. I imagine Tom Riddle, who's very polite and intelligent, and most importantly muggleborn is someone she finds very interesting/engaging. She goes out of her way to become his friend.

He likely at first finds this annoying, and as he's young unintentionally reveals himself to be a little shit who beats up his roommates, but she still doesn't leave and I imagine a fast friendship after that is formed as she turns out to be perhaps the only other person, he's felt could keep up intellectually.

Dumbledore shakes his head at her and calls her into his office constantly to tell her she's going down a dark path. I imagine, as she continues to hang around Tom, he gives up on her and starts heavily implying that she and Tom are having underage sex. As a result, Lily hates Dumbledore too.

If all goes well, with a good friend, Tom is talked out of a) horcruxes b) the chamber c) murdering his family. I imagine Lily applies to Flamel for an apprenticeship to try to create the stone, counting on Dumbledore not blocking her application.

If all goes well, Tom Riddle does not become Voldemort.

Tom is born in 1960

Tom is still an orphan with little to no prospects, but he's not in the depression and isn't in London during WWII and active bombing campaigns with German submarines right there surrounding the island.

He lives with the existential terror of Russia and the cold war that the wizards simply do not understand in any capacity, but without the Blitz I imagine he's a lot more stable.

Regardless, Tom enters school with the gang and immediately takes note of Severus Snape and Lily Evans' weird friendship that nobody likes. (I imagine Snape did get shit for it from his pals and Lily we know did from James and the gang.)

Well, as a muggleborn in Slytherin, I imagine Lily brings him into the fold as a) someone Snape can potentially hang out with who doesn't call Lily dirty names b) she really respects Tom Riddle because see the last section.

Snape... doesn't want to tell her that Tom Riddle beats up their dormmates and steals their lunch money.

As before, though, I imagine Lily finds out anyway and still remains friends with them both. Tom is unwillingly impressed, the friendship continues.

And then drama ensues as Snape realizes that Tom Riddle and Lily Evans are going for it (making him a third wheel), James realizes that Lily isn't just friends with these guys but is very close to dating one of them, and so on.

Hogwarts explodes in petty drama that...

Well, I imagine if events went about anything like canon, after the werewolf incident... Sirius would have an unfortunate accident. As would Remus Lupin (not his fault, of course, but Severus doesn't care and Tom wouldn't either).

Dumbledore knows Tom is responsible but can't prove it, Lily is devastated by Hogwarts becoming a murder factory of unhinged bullying and lawless retribution, and they have the worst last few years in Hogwarts.

... Amazing, isn't it, that Hogwarts turns out to be worse in the 1970's.

TL;DR

I stand by my ship, mate.

[ashesandhackles]

Deconstructing Harry: The boy we meet in Philosopher's Stone to the man in Deathly Hallows

I have often seen fans talk about how nebulous Harry is as a character, especially in the earlier books. They can't make sense of who he is as a character and other more colourful, more actualized personalities take over our attention from any traits Harry might display. Harry becomes more defined for a lot of people OOTP onwards where he displays traits that sometimes make him unbearable or unlikable.

Harry, as we are introduced in PS, has a very little sense of self. He is narratively self deprecating or plays down his presence or skills, not that he is aware he has any. He grew up without any presence of him displayed in the house - no photos, no idea about his parents or what they look like or what really happened to them and discouraged from asking questions. Harry as we meet him is neglected, rootless about his identity and longs for escape. For him, every day is a battle against Dudley, who bullies him or Vernon, thus setting a worldview that never truly goes away: him vs adults. But just because Harry doesn't attach traits or values to self, does not mean he does not have it.

It's an effective narrative tool though - for Harry to be our eyes of the world. Only in later re-readings can we get a grasp of the traits that become more pronounced as books go on. Also, it's not surprising that Harry develops a better sense of self when he is removed from an abusive home.

Let me begin with this:

1. Harry is a fighter

One of the things that struck me in later re-readings is that how much of a fighter Harry is, from the very beginning. He will not lie down and take abuse. The narrative presents it as no big deal, because Harry doesn't assign any importance to it - it's every day life for him.

-Verbal standing up-

See his reaction to Uncle Vernon and the letter fiasco. He stands up for himself, even if it falls on deaf ears. "I want my letter - as it is mine!". Later on, in the same book, a completely befuddled 11 year old Harry stands up to Snape too, but in a politer way: "I think Hermione knows the answer. Why don't you try her?". He gets less polite with Snape as books go on. Harry's humor is something he employs liberally with Dudley when standing up to him - "The poor toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it - it might be sick" and we see this trait manifest into the sass we all know and love.

- Fight or flight-

He is remarkably good at "fighting himself out of tight corners" as Snape put it. And although Snape attributes it to luck and more talented friends, he is onto something about Harry's ability to worm out of tight corners. He lives moment to moment in a dangerous situation - relying on his nerve, very fast reflexes and athleticism. He is also able to notice things in an environment that will get him out of a quick pinch. You see this clearly in Department of Mysteries in Book 5 where he comes up with the idea to smash shelves, the mad idea to escape on a dragon, the ministry escape where he manipulates Runcorn's image (as he noticed how people were reacting to him) to create chaos and get the Muggleborns and the trio out, Chamber of Secrets when he instinctively understood the diary is the source of power and stabbed it.

Where does the athleticism and ability to spot dangerous situation come from? This boy has spent a decade cheeking Dudley and running away from his gang, spotting when he needs to get out of the way as "long experience had told him to be out of Uncle Vernon's arms reach" or "ducking when Aunt Petunia aimed a frying pan at his head". The instinct to see a dangerous situation develops over the course of the books in his adventures - to the point Harry unconsciously brings out his wand in Tottenham road without thinking too much about it. He is almost always wary and less quick to lower his wand.

When hiding/ escaping is not an option, Harry is not above physical fighting - despite how small and skinny he is in Book 1. Both he and Dudley fight for a chance to listen at the door when letter first arrives for Harry. Dudley wins the fight. Later on, Harry jumps Uncle Vernon from behind and hangs on to his neck to get his letter. He even does the same thing to the troll in the same book. ( Then over the course of series, we see him beat up Sirius in Book 3, Malfoy in Book 5, strangle Mundungus in Book 6 - all of these are related to his fury over the dead, so different context. But still).

- Manipulation/ Cunning-

11 year old Harry even tries sneakily - waking up early to get his letter (unfortunately didn't work). The other sneaky methods he has employed throughout the series is - not telling Dursleys at end of PS that he is not allowed magic at home, threatens Dudley with it in COS, not telling them Sirius is innocent to play up the threat of a murderous godfather to keep them accountable, and also the smooth way he negotiates with Uncle Vernon for Hogsmeade letter. ("Well it will be hard work, pretending to aunt Marge that I go to St Whatsits" ,"Knocking the stuffing out of me won't make Aunt Marge forget what I could tell her"). He similarly displays his negotiation and playing to what he knows about people with Slughorn in Book 6, Pettigrew in Book 7.

The scene with Slughorn is disturbing, with Harry coercing a drunk Slughorn to give up his memory. You can argue that this is the influence of Felix Felicis, but I think the potion acted more as facilitation. The disturbing way Harry brings up his mother's murder to unnerve Slughorn is his own doing. ("Voldemort stepped over my father's body towards mum" "I forgot - you liked her, didn't you?"). Again, in a life threatening situation, Harry plays to Pettigrew's latent guilt: "You are going to kill me? After I saved your life? You owe me Wormtail!"

2. Relational justice over abstract justice

Harry's concept of justice is relational and based on his high empathy for the underdog. He notices power dynamic in a situation and empathises with the victim. This is in contrast to Hermione, who has more abstract, bigger picture view of justice. It's no wonder that Hermione is the one who is the most political of the three.

His high empathy for the underdog and needing to stand up for them is because he feels responsiblility that no one should go through what he went through. He stands up for Neville in PS and encourages him to stand up for himself. When he sees his father bullying Snape, it is not about an abstract "this is wrong behavior". Harry goes further: "Harry knew what it felt like to be taunted among a circle of onlookers" , Harry focuses on young Snape's mismatched clothes because he himself knows what it's like to wear clothes that are not yours or ones that make you look ridiculous. His empathy extends to Voldemort too - understanding why he may not want to go back to his orphanage and desire to be in Hogwarts, wondering why Merope wouldn't stay alive for her son, his fixation with Voldemort's maimed soul in King's Cross chapter and later asking Voldemort to feel remorse (" I have seen what you will become otherwise"). Even his reaction to Dobby in COS - "Can't anyone help you? Can't I?" when Dobby talks about his slavery. Hermione is usually seeing the bigger picture, Harry sees the individual.

3. Pathological mistrust of adults

He is less likely of the trio to take an adult at their words or be assured by them when they say they are taking care of things. He has learnt, from a very young age, that he is always expected to take care of himself. And the times he does take things to adult, they consistently disappoint him - by patronising him or acting like he is a child, neither of which he has tolerance for or appreciates. This is why he takes to Sirius and Lupin, who exhibit neither of these communication patterns. In some ways, Mr Weasley too.

Umbridge's abuse of him for him is framed as a battle of wills between her and him, as if he is an equal. And he loses if he complains - "not giving her a satisfaction of knowing she got to me". Harry's worldview has always been - adult vs him.

His inability to trust adults even extends to the ability of adults he likes to look after themselves. While Sirius is understandably a wreck in OOTP, he has by and large followed Dumbledore's orders. This doesn't register with Harry (Ron points it out: "Sirius listens to Dumbledore even though he doesn't like what he hears") and Harry's fears about Sirius, excaberated by Sirius's tendency for recklessness, comes to play.

He even showed similar distrust in Lupin's judgement in taking a potion from Snape in POA ("Harry felt the urge to knock the goblet out of Lupin's hands" and tries to hint at Lupin that Snape will "do anything" for DADA job). And he shows this once again with the most magically powerful wizard he knows - Dumbledore. ("if I tell you to abandon me and save yourself, you must do so". Dumbledore has to insist on this before Harry nods reluctantly. It's also Dumbledore's wording, but this is a wizard Harry feels safe with almost entirely because of his power - and yet Harry cannot obey an order like this without reluctance). It's not about Harry's own ability to take care of them - he just innately cannot leave people to it.

4. Humor as a value and coping mechanism

Harry has an established coping mechanism by the time we are introduced to him - quip in the face of danger/ dark humor. There are repeated instances of Harry amusing himself with snarky comments in his head when things are really bad for him. Like in PS, when they are in the hut, Harry wonders if the roof will fall in and then thought that if it did fall in, he might be warmer. In the earlier books (before his growth), he seems to value Ron over Hermione simply because he is more "fun". Harry enjoys being around funny people like Ron, Weasley twins, later Ginny simply because there is some dark stuff happening with him and he needs "fun" people for semblance of normalcy, escape. In fact, this desire is so strong, he attaches it to his romantic relationships: Ginny is a "blissful oblivion" and times with her are "something out of someone else's life". His relationship with Cho failed because her coping mechanism is discussing her trauma and Harry's is escaping it.

-dealing with conflict with people he likes, small digression-

A part of his growing up in later books includes valuing Hermione as much he values Ron and we see it in display in HBP, where he is more willing to stand up for her to Ron (something he kind of did more quietly before in POA - "can't you give her a break?" ) and also get confrontational with her instead of using Ron as a buffer between them to fend off her more boisterous/ bossy tendencies. ("let him make up his mind" "skip the lecture" "don't nag" - Ron took the heat in earlier books. In HBP, Harry is more willing to be irritable with her in a day-to-day interaction - "I hope you enjoy yourself" he tells Hermione when she states her intention to investigate Half Blood Prince. Or when she tests the book - "Finished? Or do you want to see if it does backflips?" "Do you have rub it in Hermione, how do you think I feel now?" at the end of HBP. ) In OOTP, his best method to deal with her when she bothers him was lying, avoiding her nagging and if that doesn't work, explode and treat her to display of his temper. There is more to explore here, of course - even with regard to how he deals with Mrs Weasley in Book 4, 5 and the difference of him hugging her in Book 7.

5. Fascination with the dead/ a passive death wish

Harry feels remarkably little sense of betrayal knowing that he was set up to die by Dumbledore. His self sacrificing streak is rooted in his love, yes, but I also think Harry is a little bit too fascinated by death, not surprising considering most people he loved are dead. Him wanting the resurrection stone in DH, him obsessively spending time at Mirror of Erised (to the point he feels feverish and Ron thinking he looks strange) until Dumbledore stops him, him almost wanting to fail to learn a Patronus because he wants to hear his parents voice, the hearing of whispering voices in the Veil in OOTP which only Luna could hear apart from him, the scene at the grave where he almost wishes he was "lying under the snow" with his parents, the possession scene in the book of OOTP has him wishing to die so he can be with Sirius. You can almost argue the Harry has, in many moments, shown raw desire of death. In fact, him choosing to let go of the stone and not go looking for it is a big character decision for him.

I also want to address Harry's temper and how that develops over course of series, the implications of understanding the people he loved and put on pedestal are flawed - but I am afraid this post is already way too long. So I will leave that for some time later.

[afaithy]

A Crinkle in Fate; Ch. 11: Heartchanging realization

Original: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16896918/chapters/40183823

Fancast:  http://afaithy.tumblr.com/post/182695568319/so-an-anon-asked-for-some-real-people-references

"There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered."

— Nelson Mandela

Summer passed in a blink of an eye. The amount of time spent together allowed Sirius and Tonks to bond and she now saw him as the brother she didn’t have. To Sirius was more than pleased to take on the role and he enjoyed teasing the girl. Lupin came to visit several times during the three months of summer vacation; sometimes on his own and some other accompanied by his parents.

When September 1st came, the three stood together in the platform 9 ¾  saying good.bye to their families and ready to board the train back to Hogwarts.

Unlike the year before, Tonks didn’t have to seat in a compartment with unknown people; in fact she was now trapped in a very crowded space with four Gryffindor boys with lots of energy, a girl with lots of things to tell her and a quiet and grumpy Slytherin boy who was having too much fun calling her by her full name.

“So this year we get to go to Hogsmeade…” Peter said excitedly “Finally!”

“It’d be fun and we will bring you lots of things, Tonks.” Lily smiled.

Sometimes it was tough to be younger, but surprisingly, she didn’t feel bothered or envious of them. In fact, she felt ...normal. She wasn’t that excited to visit the town after all.

“Oh, don’t worry about me, Lily.” Tonks smiled.

“Blimey, I always forget you’re one year younger, Tonksie.” Sirius said pouting “And there I was planning some adventures for us…”

“You can have your adventures without me, Sirius…”she laughs “I’ll be fine. There’s always something to do in the castle.”

“You wouldn’t have this problem if you hung out with the students from your year instead…” Snape said with a frown.

“Oh, well...mind you. Maybe I’m too mature to be with people from my age…”

“If you’re comparing you matureness to theirs...then maybe you should have skipped another two years…” Snape shrugged pointing at James and Sirius who were know making faces and jokes with some chocolate sticks.

“...Fair enough…” Tonks chuckled under Lily’s laughter “Then let’s leave it at...I hang out with you because I like you…”

“And that’s a good reason enough…” Lily approved “Come one, Severus. You’re not really annoyed about it. You were asking about Tonks each time I got her  owl.”

“I was just curious of what new stupidity she had done with Black…” he replied quicker than necessary and Tonks chuckled.

“But no. For real, I’m alright. I’m not dying to go to Hogsmeade, anyway…”

“You’re not? I mean there are lots of things to do and see there…”Peter asked incredulously.

“It’s just a town…” Tonks shrugged “A town with pubs, with shops, with people…like any other town. I can survive a year without going, I am sure.”

“You’re probably right…”Lupin nodded “but that doesn’t change that we will miss your company…”

“Aww, I can give you a picture so that you can keep it in your pocket.”

“I’m sure Remus would like that…” James laughed and Lupin elbowed him.

“Still...we will bring you a lot of things and then, next year, we can all go together.” Lily said.

Tonks nodded. The conversation soon drifted to some other random topics; Lily was happy to tell her what things she and Snape had done during summer vacation and Tonks was happy to tell her about the her own. Sirius would occasionally jump in with a funny memory and then Lupin would most likely remind him that it had all been his bad ideas. The trip to Hogwart felt shorter between the laughs and jokes the filled the tight train compartment.

The group reluctantly fell apart when they entered the Great Hall. As much as they’d have prefered to share the table, no all of them were Gryffindors. The SLytherin table was just next to Hufflepuffs and if she ignored the idiotic face of 80% of the table occupants, Tonks could find some solace from Snape sitting right behind her.

“Say what Half-blood scum. No one tried to kill you this summer?” Boreas laughed.

“Ignore him…” Snape whispered in a barely audible whisper.

Tonks smiled. Snape could be rude and had no reservations when claiming how much of an annoyance she was, but the he sure knew how to let her know he was on her side when the situation required it, she thought as the sorting of the new first years took place.  

“Hm...none seemed to trip this time..” she caught Snape whispering behind her “Disappointing…”

“Well, mind you. That seems to be a privilege reserved for me…”

“Normal people wouldn’t sound so proud about it…”

“Have I ever been normal?”

“Heh, you just admitted it.”

“What?”

“That you’re abnormal….” “I never…ahg..you  know what, if you keep taunting me I’ll throw the centerpiece at you…”

“What are you going to do? Throw the berries at me?”

She could hear Snape’s victorious snort and she felt like throwing him her plate, though that would have catched too much unwanted attention and she wasn’t going to fall into his trick to make her the center of attention of the entrance ceremony again. She grabbed one of the small berry like things from the centerpiece with the intention of throwing it at Snape, but to her surprise, hor most likely horror, the so called berry wasn’t a berry but some type of magical pill bug that uncoiles as soon as she had touched her and crawled up her hand. In the middle of her panic, she shook up her hand with far more strength that she had intended hitting twof her Hufflepuff mates and sending the bug flying; the bug knocked at the the juice bottle with a loud crash that echoed in the hall making Dumbledore stare at her with an amused smile as the bug ended up over the Hufflepuff prefect’s head..

“For Merlin’s sake, Tonks...what the hell are you doing?” her prefect said annoyed and she was sure her hair would probably be brightly purple as the bug began crawling down the Prefects face. THe girl let out a panicked screech as another Hufflepuff boy helped her take it off. As soon as the boy had grabbed the thing, the pill bug was gone and all that was left was one round, marble like fake berry. After a few minutes of awkward silence, the whole table broke into laughs.

Snape was far too amused by what she’d done when she turned to glare at him.

“You knew it was charmed!” she mumbled accusingly “And you know I hate pill bugs!”

“I didn’t think you’d be idiot enough to try that…”

Tonks sent him a annoyed look as the food appeared in the tables. She’d get even with him later.

***

Tonks began her first week of classes as a sophomore in her most traditional form: stumbling and spending almost 80% of the time on the floor. On Friday morning, the girl was rushing in to breakfast  in the Great Hall when a certain poltergeist, pulled on her tunic causing her to stumble and crash against the benches at the Gryffindor table. It seemed that Peeves had comet to enjoy watching her in very indignant positions lately.

The students eating at the time had laughed loudly, but were quickly shut off by a glare sent by her favorite cousin and his gang. As per usual, the one to help her back on her feet had been Lupin.

“You okay?” he asked with a frown.

“Ah...Wotcher, Remus…” she answered rubbing her waist to asses the damage. It stung but it wasn’t too bad “Yes, I’ll survive.”

“Always know how to make an entry, don’t you, cous?” Sirius smiled “Sit down, will you?”

“Ah, I think I’ll just grab it to go since I seem to be already late…” Tonks said shaking her head “You don’t happen to know a poltergeist repellent spell, do you Remus?”

“A what?”

“Peeves…”she shrugged “The damn prat has made of me stumbling into a hobby.”

“Wait...is that why you have been falling all over the castle?” Lupin asked concerned.

“Well, I’m clumsy...but not that much. Peeves keeps messing with me...I guess he finds it rather amusing…”

“That’s not alright. It is dangerous…” Lupin said shaking his head “I’ll ask dad…”

“Well, thank you. Then ...I’ll leave now. I still need to make it to Transfigurations. Wish me luck...hopefully I will make it without breaking my neck…”

She had said in a joking manner, but Lupin seemed to take the prospect with horror.

“Maybe you shouldn’t go alone…”

“I’ll be fine. It’d be a little embarrassing if I have to go to classes with an escort…” she laughed “Anyway...so I’ll see you all later!”

Tonks picked a buttered toast from Sirius plate and left the Hall slightly limping. Lupin was watching her with worry when Sirius patted his back with a smirk.

“What?”

“Nothing…” Sirius laughed.

Lupin quirked an eyebrow at his friend and rolled his eyes. He knew better than to expect a proper answer when Sirius entered into his “all mysterious” mode; the boy would eventually tell him what was going through his mind. He looked at the spot where Tonks had been standing at some minutes before. He could only hope that the girl would make it out from her first week unscathed.

“She’s always so energetic, is she not?” Lily giggled “It’s quite admirable…”

“If only I had as much energy as she does in the morning…” James said. He wasn’t a morning person and after three months of sleeping in to late hours, waking up early to attend classes was giving him so issues.

“Oh, that girl is always awfully early…” Sirius replied “but I guess it’s a family thing. When I was staying with them, I was always the last one to wake up…”

“Oh, you two met her parents….” Peter said curiously “So how are they?”

“They’re nice folk. Dromeda is just as I remember her, haven’t changed a bit and her husband is great.” Sirius grinned “They were all great with me staying over and all; and you would guess, but it seems Remus’s mum and him might have known each other!”

“Really?” Lily said amazed.

Lupin nodded.

“Tonk’s father is older, but he’s Welsh as my mum. Coincidentally, they’re from the same town and attended the same muggle school. They saw each other a few times before. It wasn’t until my dad told the story of how they’d met that Mr. Tonks realized it.”

“Oh wow. That’s such a coincidence. So how’s the town she lives in? She gave me very vague descriptions when I asked…”

“Well, she doesn’t live in a town; which makes it even better...if you ask me.” Sirius replied “ A pretty house in the countryside, with big gardens and few to none snoopy neighbors. Great place. I wouldn’t mind to spend more holidays in there…”

“They live up north. Close to the Moors.” Lupin added “Outside of town…”

“I never thought of her as a country girl…”James said resting his head on his hand “but sounds like a nice breather from London. Maybe I should join the party next time, too!”

“Somehow I think Andromeda would love that…”Sirius chuckled “she was quite happy to have people around for a change....”

“How about a full summer camp this year. I could persuade Severus to attend…” Lily smiled “He hates to travel, but he might do the effort if it is for Tonks…”

“He would, wouldn’t he?” James said with smirk “Don’t tell me Snivellus actually fancies the queen of clumsiness?”

“Wait, what?” Sirius growled and Lupin found himself listening with sudden interest.

“Not in that way…” Lily replied glaring at James “Severus has few friends. He appreciates her even if he doesn’t admit it himself. I think he finds...likeable? That she’s so into challenging him…”

Sirius seemed horrified, but he didn’t say anything more. Lupin on the other hand was thoughtful. He had noticed that those two were quite close; maybe Snape was the third person in the group- after Sirius and himself- with whom she seemed to feel most comfortable with. The boy told himself that it was only natural considering that they had spend quite an amount of time  together doing those small jobs with Slughorn. It was a good thing that she was making friends -other friends besides himself- then why was he feeling a little irritated by James’s silly remark about Snape and Tonks closeness?

They didn’t see Tonks again until much later that day. The girl had skipped lunch  and her whereabouts were unknown until mid afternoon, when classes were over and they were free for the day. The group stumbled with her as she climbed down the stairs to the courtyard and Lupin noticed that her limping seemed a little worse than earlier.

“Tonks!” he called her once she had properly stepped into the courtyard. The last thing he wanted was to startled her in the middle of the stairs and provoke her another fall.

The girl turned to them looking miserable and Lupin felt a knot in his throat.

“Oh...wotcher…” she said with a sigh.

“Woah….what’s up with that face?”  Sirius said blinking worriedly “what did you break?”

At the question Tonks let out miserable groan.

“Ooookaaay. For real ...what’s wrong?”

“Peeves…” she replied simply.

“What did he do?” Lupin asked her worried.

“Well…”

But before she could answer, a group of giggling second year Ravenclaws stopped by pointing at her between laughs and mutterings. Tonks let out a loud sigh and putting her arms on her hips in a, supposedly dignified pose, she turned to them with a firm face.

“Oh, okay...snap out of it. It was a damn accident! So fly off and do something more productive than stand there gossiping about me!”she growled angrily at the girls who stared at her with wide eyes and quickly rushed away.

“Wow cous” Sirius whistled “You really scared them off. So...what was an accident?”

Tonks turned back to them. The spark of hardness and anger in her face quickly dissolved, and the same miserable look she’d held before the Ravenclaws interruption took over once more.

“I told you that Peeves was making me trip as a hobby...well he did it again when I was coming out from charms and I kind of hit one of the magical armors when I went down. I don’t what was wrong with the thing, but it went crazy thinking someone was attacking it and well...it hit that stupid statue of the druid.”

“You mean the one that is reading that big book?” James asked. “Yeah, that one. The armor hit it with its rusted sword and the druid dropped that book over…over...” “Over?” Lupin coarsed her.

“....Mrs. Norris…”

There was a long silent pause  that was suddenly broken by Sirius bark laugh followed by James and Peter’s giggles and guilty chuckle from Lupin. The boys were actually relieved; the miserable look and the paleness in the younger girls had made them think that something worse had happened.

“It’s not fun! Filch was furious. I had to stand his yells for two and half hours before professor Sprout came looking for me!”

“And what happened to Mrs. Norris…?” James asked trying to drown his laugh.

“Well...she’s alive, if that’s what you’re asking. But she might lose a piece of her tail…” Tonks sighed “ And hey, the cat might be a pain, but...it doesn’t make me feel any less guilty.  Now Filch is demanding that I to get detention for the rest of the year…”

“What? Why? It’s not like you hexed Mrs. Norris.” Sirius asked with a frown, but he couldn’t stop himself from laughing. The whole situation was so ridiculous “I mean...you just tripped....”

“Well, Filch thinks I did it on purpose….and since he can’t actually punish Peeves, I am the scapegoat...” Tonks said sighed “I really don’t mind the detention, if I really had done something. The whole thing was just a chain of unfortunate events!”

“He’s not a teacher. He can’t put you on detention” Lupin reasoned resting his hand on her shoulder “I doubt professor Sprout would give into Filch’s demands. She knows you wouldn’t have done that…”

“Well, yeah...that’s what Professor Sprout told me. She said I shouldn’t worry, that she’d talk to Dumbledore and that it was unfair to punish me for an accident. But Filch isn’t happy…I’m pretty sure he’s going to make the rest of my school life a nightmare if I don’t get that detention…”

“That old rat…” Sirius said crossing his arms “Well, if he’s going to put you through hell...I’m sure we can put him through hell as well…”

“We all know how much he hates students anyway…” James nodded “If he bothers you we can...leave him a present?”

“Besides...what’s the big deal. I am sure Madam Pomfrey can fix that cat’s tail in a blink “Peter said.

Tonks bit her lip in a gesture that Lupin now knew meant she was concerned. He rubbed her back comfortingly and smiled at her.

“Don’t worry about it. Professor Dumbledore wouldn’t be that unreasonable. I’m sure of it. You missed lunch, didn’t you?”

“I was stuck in Filch’s office…” she shrugged “And honestly, with all that mess I kind of lost my appetite…”

“Well, but you need to eat something. Come on...we were planning on doing a small picnic outside. How about you join us…?” Lupin offered.

“And mess up with your Boys’ hang out? I wouldn’t dare…” Tonks replied shaking her head “I think I’ll just go back to my room. I’m tired. I will see you guys later.”

With that said, Tonks said goodbye to them with a gesture of her hand and walked away as fast as her  slight limp allowed. Lupin watched her disappear among a group of students and he felt Sirius and James rest their elbows on his shoulders. He still wondered why those two enjoyed doing that considering that he was several inches taller and the position was probably uncomfortable.

“Well...there she goes. Do you reckon she’d start every year with an injury? Because lat year she rolled down a hill…” James said slightly amused “She shouldn’t take it on as a habit. I like her, and I certainly would prefer if she survives her school life…”

“Yeah, but considering what Dromeda told me of her, she’s already used to get all knocked over…” SIrius chuckled “Clumsiest thing ever...that one...adorable, though...don’t you think, Moony?”

“Yeah...adorable…” he replied absently “I mean...it is cute, as long as she doesn’t get that hurt. I’m worried that Peeves will continue to sabotage her…”

“Oh, yes...that, too. Well...any ideas of how to control a damn poltergeist, Mr. DADA ace?”

“No idea, but I’m going to owl my dad as soon as possible. I don’t like to see her getting hurt…” Lupin sighed “What…?”

Sirius was grinning amused at him.

“Nope, nothing. Come on...I want to get out of this castle for a while…” he answered turning around and walking away.

Lupine frowned, intrigued by his friend's behavior, but decided to ignore him as he followed the rest of the group out.

***

Tonks was feeling ill. She had originally intended to get into her dorm and nap the rest of the day, but the Hufflepuff house was crawling with students and after the events from earlier she wasn’t feeling in the mood of gossipers and mocks. She had twisted her ankle on her fall and even though she knew that Madam Pomfrey would fix it in a blink, she didn’t feel like hearing the nurse’s lecture regarding her inability to stay in her feet.

That’s how she’d ended up in the library, curled in her favorite seat in the Muggle LIterature section with  her ankle swollen and stinging and a pretty strong headache.

“First year a fracture hip; second year a twisted ankle…” she muttered to herself “well, I guess it’s getting better…”

At least she could enjoy some peace and quiet in there; and she certainly enjoyed the chance of reading a good book in her free hours, however, after a few minutes, she found herself drifting off into sleep.

Her sleep was light, but filled with dreams. Strange dreams that made her heart beat heavily. She saw a group of redheads, most of the male, with kind smiles; she saw a boy with glasses that reminded her of James and a girl with honey colored hair. She saw a lot of faces that felt familiar, but she could not name. She also saw a green symbol in the sky: a skull with a snake coming from its mouth. The images were scattered, not exactly connected to each other, yet somehow related. It was confusing and yet comforting, unlike other dreams she’d had.

You can change it all. If that’s what you really want…

Her eyes fluttered open as the words vanished into the deeps of her mind. She felt a warm heaviness on her shoulders that she didn’t recall having before falling asleep. It was a robe, more precisely, a Gryffindor robe judging by the scarlet and gold lines in the rim and if her senses didn’t fail her, the scent of chocolate, tea and mint was something she could easily recognize.

“Remus?” she said still half asleep.

The boy was sitting in his usual spot with a book open in front of his face. He turned to her as he heard his name being called and his green eyes stared at her gently.

“Hey…” he replied putting down the book.

“ What are you doing here…?”

“I could ask you the same. Didn’t you say you were going to you dorm?”

“I...tried, but it was too noisy…”

“Noisy?”

“My head hurts…” she replied. The pain seemed to be slightly stronger and she was beginning to feel nauseous.

Lupin looked at he conflicted. He raised from his seat and came to kneel in front of her. Soon his hand was resting over her forehead.

“You might be having a slight fever. I saw you trembling, that’s why I gave you my robe. Are you feeling sick?”

Yes.

“ No, it’s just a  headache…”

“Are you sure? Maybe I should take you to madam Pomfrey.”

“The last thing I need is her lectures, Remus…” she half snorted “I am okay. I just need to sleep it off…”

“Then wouldn’t it be better if you went back to your room?”

“I told you...too noisy…”

Lupin sat down next to her concerned. It was obvious that he wasn’t convinced that sleeping in a reading chair in the library could be better than her warm  bed, so Tonks pushed herself up and rested her head on his shoulder.

“There...it won’t be that bad for my posture like this…”

“I doubt my shoulder is more comfortable than a pillow, Tonks…”

“Then I can use your lap...just don’t make go to my room. It’s not comfortable…”

Lupin seemed to ponder it, but he eventually gave in.

“Alright, you can use my lap. That has to be better than my shoulder.”

And- she had to admit it- it was. Lupin was still too tall for her so his shoulder felt a little too high, his lap however was nice: soft and warm. She could get used to it.

Lupin watched the girl drift back to sleep with her head resting comfortably on his lap. Her hood had fallen down a little and he could see  the locks of her purple hair that, after a few minutes of sleeping, had turned its points into pastel pink, crating a slight gradient. Unconsciously, he found himself caressing one of the wavy locks.

So that was what she tried to hide under her hood, he thought. He had read about her little gift, but he had never seen it, and as he watched her singular hair between his fingers, he couldn’t help but think that it was a beautiful. THe way the hair turned from a shade to another so naturally that it reminded him of the petals of a flower. It was such a pity that she didn’t let others see it, considering how lovely it was. He would hex anyone who would dare say otherwise.

Tonks sleep quietly. At least she seemed to be  having a pleasant rest and Lupin’s lips curled into a smile. He had picked his book, but somehow he found himself too distracted to read it. His attention was all over the sleeping girl: from her lovely color changing hair to the quiet raise and low of her breathing. He pulled  his robe up to her shoulders and sat there watching her sleep. The book was long forgotten on the table.

[sparklyjojos]

the promised summary of Smoke, Soil or Sacrifices. [tw: a lot of child abuse in a dysfunctional family, mentioned suicide]

--

The narrator is Natsukawa Shirou [ 奈津川 四郎], an ER surgeon working in San Diego. You know the type: workaholic with a god complex, wearing Armani coats and having casual sex left and right, but also constantly sleep-deprived and popping anxiety pills like its candy. He has deep-seated aggression issues that even he himself is afraid of getting out of control, and to manage it he trained boxing for a while before a gang drove him out of the gym (long story). As his name implies, he's the youngest of four brothers - in order of birth: Ichirou [一郎], Jirou [二郎], Saburou [三郎] and him, Shirou [四郎] - but since he's working in the USA, he hasn't seen his family for a while.

One winter day Shirou learns that back in Japan, his mother got seriously hurt and is currently in a coma. He flies back to his Japan hometown, Nishi Akatsuki, meets with an old classmate Takaya Yoshio (who everybody calls “Rupan”, like Lupin the Third, after he once wrote that word instead of ‘renessaince’ on a test), and learns that there’s more to the attack: someone has been attacking the women of Nishi Akatsuki, hitting them in the back of the head and then partially burying them in the ground. None of the five victims died, but most were still unconscious, and no one saw the attacker. Even if his mother is alive, Shirou gets so furious about the attack that he nearly destroys Rupan’s car before he can calm himself down; he really does have violence issues. (Also Rupan is dating a high schooler Yamaguchi Usagi behind his wife’s back and Shirou has a really bad feeling about it).

We learn a little about the Natsukawa family. They’re descended from a German immigrant Hans who left them two things: first, ridiculous for Japanese standards height (the brothers are all >185cm tall); second, a mysterious warehouse with triangle-shaped floor and ceiling that he built next to the family house. Its history is grim: Hans’s son Daimaru (大丸) hanged himself inside the warehouse, and then Daimaru’s son, Maruo (丸雄, the narrator’s father) tended to close one of his kids inside a lot for misbehaving. Shirou remembers Maruo, and thinks about how as a kid he saw that his father’s body was scarred all over, which Maruo claimed was a remainder of injuries from one or another war.

Shirou has a reunion with two of his brothers, Ichirou and Saburou. Jirou, the second oldest, has mysteriously disappeared at 17 and nobody has seen him since, it seems. Ichirou is a politician, just like their father Maruo, while Saburou writes mystery novels starring detective Runbaba 12. (Shirou thinks they’re ridiculous, and remembers one that had the hero looking for his daughter and somehow ending up living with an amnesiac woman and a gay guy, or some nonsense like that.)

---

The serial attacker case is overseen by a Tokyo police officer Marikku Takahiro (真陸隆宏) and a Nagoya prosecutor Shirai Masami (白碑将美), both Shirou’s old schoolmates. Upon learning the facts about the case from them, Shirou figures out something nobody else realized: if on a map of Nishi Akatsuki you draw lines between some houses of the victims, and draw a spiral based on it, it’ll go perfectly through all the victims’ houses. [I’m not sure how to explain it in text, so here’s the map in question -- the numbers are houses:]

Shirou goes to where the origin of the spiral points to, at the shore of the river Shounokawa (not pictured on the map), and finds an empty coffin buried in the ground. He alarms the police and Saburou, who arrives at the scene with his detective friend, Banba Junjirou (番場 潤二郎). [Interestingly enough, he shares the last two kanji of his first name with Jirou, but it isn’t brought up ever -- I don’t know if this coincidence is done just for the sake of having a red herring, or will it be important in a later book]. Saburou often affectionately calls Banba ‘Runbaba’ and it seems he based the character in his books off of him. He originally hired Banba to help find Jirou, the missing brother, but they’ve been unsuccesful so far. Banba doesn’t really do anything useful at the scene, only claiming nonsense like the coffin being actually a time machine.

Shirou learns that the serial attacker always makes a photo of the crime scene and writes some nonsensical letters on it, and always puts an animal plushie in the ground next to the victim (so far: sheep, elephant, lion, sheep, koala). Through some truly inspired reasoning Shirou notices that since the victims were only partially buried, their body parts were always kinda sticking out in a grid pattern, and you can ‘read’ them like syllabary Braiile code. The resulting message is ‘MAMATASUKE’, seemingly a part of ‘mama tasukete’ = ‘help me mom’. And if you treat the letters on the photos as a Caesar cipher key, and pair it in a very complicated way with the names of the victims, you’ll get DRMN / NOBT / SZK / SNEO / GIAN... which looks like nothing, but these are abbreviations of famous kids cartoon characters, eg. the first one is Doraemon. Soon after this discovery, they learn that another victim was attacked (incidentally it’s Marikku’s mother), and the discovered pattern of plushies/words/etc. seems to continue.

Shirou goes to the hospital to visit his mother, meets Ichirou there and they start physically fighting kinda out of nowhere. Not because they hate each other for any reason; just because, it seems, there is something inside them that drives them to violence-as-bonding. After they flee the security, they talk about the case, and wonder if it wasn’t their missing brother Jirou who’s at fault. This conversation sends Shirou on a long trip down memory lane.

---

When Shirou was 9, he took three abandoned puppies home. The brothers were told they couldn’t keep them, and so the puppies eventually got entrusted to Jirou (then 12) so he’d find them a good owner somewhere else, but as he later admitted he’d just drowned them in the river instead. Jirou didn’t seem to care about the horrible thing he did. In fact, he always did horrible things, like breaking windows in other houses or killing and eating the neighbours’ chickens, and their father Maruo always locked him in the triangle warehouse for that. In primary school Jirou enacted long painful revenge on his bullies, and even called the terror he instilled his ‘Days of Creation’, as if the things he did were ‘a seal given to other by God’. But Jirou’s acts were (as present Shirou now thinks) a natural result of the violence that had been bestowed upon him finally exploding.

Jirou had been abused by Maruo ever since he'd been a tiny child; his every mistake was viciously criticized, and he was ‘jokingly’ threatened with getting abandoned in the mountains. After some time Maruo started beating him, and while Jirou pretended like he didn’t care, it was clear he was terrified and in pain. Ichirou as the oldest brother tried to stop Maruo or get outside help, for years and years, but nothing ever worked.

Eventually one day Maruo seemed to see his mistakes, crying promised to do better and embraced the kids (except Ichirou, who was skeptical and didn’t want to take a part in any display like that). Maruo really seemed to behave a little better after that, though mostly he was completely ignoring Jirou now. This caused Jirou to act out in order to get attention, which each time made Maruo close him in the triangle warehouse. Again, Jirou acted like it was nothing, and called the warehouse his ‘summer residence’, even if all of them were terrified of the dark place that was allegedly haunted by their grandfather’s ghost. Eventually Jirou’s actions escalated into committing petty crimes, and then all-out violence, though he drew a line at murder.

It was only after Maruo’s mother’s intervention that Maruo finally moved to Tokyo for some time, leaving the kids in her charge. Ichirou started tutoring Jirou and was surprised to find out that Jirou was actually incredibly smart; the boy could recite entire passages from books after flipping through them once, and draw complicated maps from memory. He still walked the path of violence, though, and once Maruo came back from Tokyo, the boy got hit and locked inside the warehouse a lot again. Because of his deeds Jirou at times seemed positively demonic to our young narrator; he even once recited Shirou a poem he wrote, which basically said ‘hey, remember those puppies? I killed them with a knife’ (actually it was deeper and more interesting than that, with a hidden promise from the poem’s narrator towards the dead puppies that ‘if I became god, you’d be the first ones I revive’, but obviously talking about that event hurt Shirou a lot all on its own). But even then, Shirou recalls he still held love for Jirou; they were brothers, after all.

Time passed. Ichirou moved toward a political career like his father. Saburou got attacked on the street and had his hand broken, which made him paranoid that somebody from the neighborhood / some organized crime group was out to kill him, but he still laughed at Shirou’s suggestion to run away from home (’and where would we run?”). He ended up ditching the piano that he had always loved playing, and instead got into fights a lot. Jirou by the time of high school was very popular among his peers, infamous among the Fukui policemen, had ‘fans’, and often smuggled girls into his bedroom, which again earned him a trip to the warehouse if Maruo caught him.

In 1986, when Jirou was 17, their grandmother (Maruo’s mother, the same who made him leave that one time) was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and stayed in the hospital in constant horrible pain. While Maruo tended to run away from the situation excusing himself with work trips, Jirou unexpectedly stayed by his grandmother’s side every night. On her death bed, she told her grandsons that “no matter how great or rich a person is, death will turn them into smoke, soil or sacrifices; the burned ones turn into smoke, the buried ones into soil, the others into sacrifices for wild beasts.” She apologized that she couldn’t protect the kids better, and that’s it’s her fault for raising Maruo badly. Then, in pain, she suddenly yelled ‘Daimaru, who killed you?!”, and then just before death demanded to see Maruo once more, to tell him that he’s still the one she loved the most in the world -- that last dying line was shocking to everyone, but hurt Jirou the most.

From then on, Jirou and Maruo’s conflict escalated even more, with Jirou for some reason starting to blame Maruo for Daimaru’s sucide. On 19 December the two started a horrible furniture-breaking physical fight while Saburou and Shirou could only helplessly watch. Suddenly their mother entered the scene with a knife in her hand, but she didn’t use it to stop the fight or otherwise help Jirou, who was looking at her with hope. Instead she screamed that it was Jirou she felt like stabbing, that it was all his fault and he should apologize to his father. Jirou didn’t intend to apologize (instead yelling that maybe it’d be better if he’d never been born), and the situation ended in Maruo brutalizing him and still bleeding throwing into the warehouse.

The next morning, Jirou couldn’t be found anywhere, as if he just vanished from the locked warehouse, and if the other brothers were honest, they were actually pretty glad about that.

--

Back in the present day, Shirou notices that the way a victim’s head is positioned always points like an arrow to the next crime scene, and tells Shirai to guard the houses the last victim points to.

Shirou then goes to the hospital once more to check on his mother, and surprises himself by crying a lot. Later he meets a nurse called Hatakida Atena that catches his eye with her red coat, but nothing comes out of it (he’s bad at / afraid of / unable to have anything more intimate than purely sexual relationships going on, it seems). Then his mother is visited by another victim of the case, Satou Ryouko, who tearfully recalls her joyful near-death experience she had after being attacked. She saw bright light, felt a warm god-like presence, then wandered through a giant forest and met the dead poet Raymond Carver that she had no prior knowledge about (she even recites his poem ‘My Death’). An unassuming student called Nozaki Hiroshi approaches them and seems to be very interested in Satou’s experience, asking for an interview, which she agrees to, as she feels the need to share her wonderful experience with the world.

And then there’s this... out-of-nowhere fragment in which Shirou and Ichirou’s wife Rihoko in the spur of the moment have sex in a random hospital closet (they apparently had an affair two years earlier), and some thugs hired by Ichirou’s political opponents snap pics and try to blackmail Shirou, but he fights them like it’s a damn martial arts movie except with more violence (like ‘biting into someone’s jugular’ kind of violence), and Shirou comes out of it alive but in pretty horrible shape, with the photos destroyed, and what the hell was that?

--

Hitching a ride back to town with Marikku, Shirou realizes that it’s possible it’s actually Marikku who’s behind the murders, as the sixth victim was his abusive mother, who it seems has still been inflicting physical abuse on him even after all these years. Maybe Marikku figured out the pattern of the attacks early on, and used it to arrange a copycat crime that’d get blamed on the original culprit? But just as Shirou confronts Marikku, they get into a car accident. Shirou gets some bones broken, while Marikku dies. Shirou isn’t sure whether it was suicide or not, but suspects the original culprit may have wanted to get rid of them -- later an investigation of the wreck proves that somebody tampered with the car.

Saburou and Rupan help Shirou make a daring escape from the hospital, and the brothers are having quite a lot of fun working together during that entire scene, even if Shirou’s injuries are so severe he has to fight his body not to faint from pain at times. Later, as they return to Nishi Akatsuki, Saburou admits that he and detective Banba believe the criminal may be Jirou, back to take revenge on the town (Banba didn’t disclose more information, as apparently he doesn’t like to tell Saburou anything until he has everything figured out). As proof, they found an old paper -- with the exact spiral pattern used in the crime drawn on it -- in the triangle warehouse, so it’s likely Jirou drew that before his disappearance. During the ride the brothers learn from Yamaguchi Usagi that the plushies found with the victims are their corresponding Doubutsu uranai animals (a sort of new hip horoscope that gives you a different animal depending on your date of birth).

Saburou tells Shirou that there’s another link between the victims: the two women that regained consciousness so far both had a Near-Death Experience (Saburou says it’s super interesting and mentions he’d like to use it in another book of his). Shirou thinks that it may not be a coincidence; maybe the attacker intends on giving the victims NDE like it’s some weird modern ritual, and the plushies serve the same purpose as ritual dolls, as empty vessels to which illness or other bad stuff would be passed? Suddenly Shirou remembers that random Nozaki Hiroshi guy who seemed very happy hearing about NDE from one of the victims, and something clicks. Shirou phones Nozaki’s mother and through some seemingly innocent questions (’Was he in Nishi Akatsuki lately? Does he act like this and this? ...Does he like Doraemon?’) realizes that the serial attacker really is Nozaki. They alert Shirai Masami and local media and rush to Nozaki’s house.

But they’re too late. In the house instead of Nozaki they find the body of detective Banba stabbed to death twenty one times, and Nozaki’s parents strangled by their own son. It seems Banba had figured out the solution before everyone else, and came to this house yesterday without telling Saburou. (”Rest in peace, Runbaba 12,” Shirou thinks reflexively.)

--

In the house they find a note from the criminal, who claims to be fulfilling orders of ‘the Great God Jawakutora-sin’ (or Jawakutora-shin), who governs over all human souls, but as those souls are ‘dirty, unaware, unseeing and ignorant’, the god wants to make them clean. The cleansing proccess has to start with mothers, so the next generation of humans would hopefully already be ‘clean’. Apparently Nozaki in his childhood had a NDE himself, saw ‘Jawakutora’s light’ and understood his guidance. The method involves hitting a precise spot at the back of a person’s head. This causes a ‘perfect opening’ in the skull to form, through which the soul can briefly fly out and have a NDE, that is, ‘be shown reality’, and also be shown Jawakutora’s great spiral structure (a spiral being its symbol) -- that’s the spiral on the map of Nishi Akatsuki. Jawakutora also told Nozaki to do all the other things: bury the victims, write the letters on the photos, and use the plushies (’animals who have never been given souls’. Or something).

While this note shows clearly that the culprit is just some religious fanatic, something bugs Shirou, and he still thinks Jirou may be involved, especially since the two dogs of the family were also killed without any reason.

--

After Banba’s death, Saburou mourns him and closes himself alone in the triangle warehouse for long periods of time. This unexpectedly allows him to discover something, and he calls Ichirou and Shirou to the warehouse. (Maruo and his wife at that time have a job-related meeting with a few other people in the house). This something is the mystery of their grandfather Daimaru’s death.

As Saburou points out, the old stains left from the corpse’s bodily fluids are spread over a significant area, in an arc, which would mean that the hanging corpse had to somehow move around in a circle. Saburou found out that the ceiling of the warehouse can be moved, independently of the walls, by pressing a hidden button. The ceiling rotates in such a way that the building seen from above eventually looks like a 6-pointed star, which was the warehouse’s purpose in the first place: apparently, their great-grandfather Hans was secretly Jewish, and while he was afraid of persecution if he showed his identity outright, he constructed this mechanism as a great big fuck you to the bigoted society who had no clue a giant Star of David was right under their noses.

When the ceiling is moved, there are large enough gaps in some places that a person can fit through; that’s how both Jirou and Daimaru’s murderer could get out. Yes, Daimaru was actually murdered -- by his own son Maruo, the son that he had abused for years and years. That abuse was what gave Maruo his scars. The violence instilled on him, which he then passed to his own sons...

While the brothers talk in the warehouse unaware of anything else, Nozaki sneaks into the main house and stabs everyone he runs into, eventually wounding every single person there. Maruo manages to dodge him and runs towards the warehouse, and in the heated moment yells, ‘Ichirou, Jirou, Saburou, Shirou! Run!”. The names of all his sons.

The brothers run out and see Nozaki stab Maruo, and as Ichirou moves to help his father he also gets injured. This makes the other two brothers’ blood boil and they fight Nozaki, with Shirou eventually using the attacker’s own knife to stab him. But Shirou’s job isn’t done yet: with help of Saburou he gets everyone moved to one spot, grabs his doctor bag, and through his sheer skills of an ER surgeon, lightning fast decisions and improvising on the spot, he manages to keep everyone including Maruo and Ichirou alive until the ambulance arrives. [And it’s fucking amazing to read.]

--

After Shirou heals physically (he did run away from the hospital earlier, after all), he goes to Rupan’s wife Takaya Mari, who’s a psychologist, and makes the first step on his way to heal emotionally. He cries like a baby throughout the entire session, finally lets so many emotions pour out chaotically out of him, and leaves with a lot of things in his head finally sorted out.

Later through his own investigation he learns that Jirou is alive and well, now working in the Ministry of Finances under the name ‘Kawaji Natsurou’, which is so obviously an anagram of ‘Natsukawa Jirou’ it’s surprising nobody noticed.

...but another romaji spelling of Jirou’s name (’Natsukawa Jiro’) is also an anagram for ‘Jawakutora-sin”, and Shirou now understands who was the mastermind behind Nozaki’s actions; who wanted to enact revenge on the mother who in a critical moment turned against him, and most likely on the entire family sooner or later. ...Although Shirou has a feeling he won’t try anything like that anymore.

During the therapy session, Shirou expresses forgiveness towards his father, and wonders whether or not this quick forgiveness isn’t just a foolish decision made in spur of the moment, under strong emotions... but after he heard Maruo yell all their names trying to save them in a similar moment of emotions, he has a feeling things will get better. Shirou’s mother hasn’t woken up yet, but he’s sure she’ll come out of that wonderful giant forest eventually. The force putting their family together is powerful like gravity -- whether this power won’t just bring another disaster, nobody can tell. Certainly, it’s best if Jirou still keeps as far away from them as it’s possible. Maybe it’d be for the best if every single one of them stayed apart, never had children, and let this cursed family be finally destroyed; maybe it’d be for the best if all that remained was smoke, soil or sacrifices. But it’s not the time to think about death. For now, what matters is that they’re all alive and have to try and keep on living.

In the end, Shirou calls Atena (the nurse from earlier) and asks her to sleep with him -- literally sleep with him, mostly -- and with the warm and safety, and another person’s heartbeat so close by, he can finally sleep calmly.

[princesse-de-ravenclaw]

I’m With You

Request: Hey, first of all i would like to say that i’m honestly in love with your blog! Ugh it’s so awesome! I would like to request a Young!Siriusxreader imagine where the reader is a part of the Marauder gang together with Lily And Marlene. One night Sirius is update about something. the reader comforts him And they fall a sleep cuddling. Later he talks to the others how he can’t think about Anything else than her and how wonderful it was and they help him with confessing his love. Hope this is okay!

And

Hi dear! I hope you get lots of ideas to help get your brain juices flowing 😊 maybe I can help? I think it would be cool to see how you’d approach a Sirius x reader where the reader is perhaps in a compromising/unhealthy relationship with someone, and Sirius goes all protective mode, and the reader takes shelter in him, awakening feels in both of them. Just an idea!!! All the luck on your requests💕☺️

Word count: 5,454 (well damn)

Warning: This fic does involve a verbally abusive relationship, and a little bit of violence towards the middle. If this is something you know you can’t handle, please don’t read it. Take care of yourself. ♡

***************************************************************************************

“Did you hear about the witch who won the lottery?” Sirius asked as he and Y/N made their way to the great hall for lunch. “Um, no?” Y/N furrowed her brow. “What about her?” “She went completely Knuts!” Sirius exclaimed, holding up a handful of bronze knuts. “Sirius, that is the worst joke I’ve ever heard in my life,” Y/N laughed, shaking her head. “Maybe, but you’re laughing, so it served its purpose,” he shrugged. “You’ve seemed a bit down, lately. It’s nice to see that smile of yours coming back,” he gave her a gentle nudge as they entered the great hall. “Thank you, Sirius. Really,” she smiled up at him gratefully.

“Sweetheart, I’ve been looking for you. You weren’t at our usual meet up spot,” A voice interrupted. “Sorry mate, didn’t mean to keep your girl from you. Just wanted to try out a new joke on her. I’ll let you have her back now. See you around, Y/N,” Sirius threw her a wink before strutting away to sit with the rest of the marauders, Y/N’s boyfriend glaring after him.

“I’m so sorry, Andrew. I was talking to Sirius when we left class, and we got to where I was supposed to meet you, but you weren’t there, and Sirius was still talking and I didn’t want to be rude and make him stop, so I-” Y/N was rambling, but Andrew cut her off. “Shut up. I don’t give a damn. You shouldn’t have been speaking to him anyway. He doesn’t care about you, he just wants to get between your legs. You just aren’t smart enough to see it,” He snapped.

“I can’t just ice him out… he’s my friend,” Y/N mumbled, ducking her head as she spoke. “Of course he is,” Andrew laughed without humor. “Him, Potter, Lupin, Pettigrew, Evans, McKinnon,” He laughed again. “They don’t care about you, why would they? You’re worthless! You’re lucky you even have me,” he scoffed. “Andrew, I’m sor-” Y/N tried, but Andrew cut her off once again. “Shut up! You can have lunch by yourself, I can’t even stand to look at you right now,” Andrew snarled, turning on his heel and storming off. Y/N took a deep breath and tried to fight back her tears as she made her way to an empty table and sat down, her appetite long gone.

“Is that Y/N over there by herself?” James asked his friends. “She should be eating with Andrew..” Sirius mumbles as he turned around to follow James’ eyes. “I believe it is,” He furrowed his brow. “Well, let’s go join her,” Remus shrugged, standing up. James, Sirius, Peter, Lily, and Marlene followed and the six teenagers made their way over to where Y/N was sitting. James plopped down in front of her, ready to make a joke, but he stopped in his tracks to see Y/N holding back tears. “Y/N, what’s wrong, love? What happened?” He asked, concern evident in his voice. Y/N shook her head and blinked back her tears. “It’s nothing,” she said quietly.

“Where did Andrew go, darling? He just met up with you.. Is he the reason you’re so upset?” Sirius asked, putting his arm around her and rubbing her shoulder. Y/N gnawed on her bottom lip for a moment and then sighed before she answered, “We got into an argument and he left. It was stupid, and completely my fault.” “Do you want to talk about it, Hun?” Lily spoke up, but Y/N shook her head rapidly. “No. In fact, I really need to go find him and apologize,” Y/N shrugged out of Sirius’s grip and stood up. “Come find us if you need anything!” Remus called as Y/N made to exit the great hall. “Don’t forget, we’re all hanging out in the common room after dinner!” Marlene added.

Y/N searched the school until she found Andrew in the Library. “Can I talk to you?” She asked him in a hushed voice as soon as she was close enough. Andrew raised an eyebrow, and Y/N took it as an opportunity to grab his hand and lead him out of the library so they could talk at a normal volume. “Andrew, I’m so sorry I upset you!” Y/N started as soon as they were outside of the library doors. “I love you so much, and I don’t want to be the reason you’re unhappy and-” “It’s okay, baby. I forgive you,” Andrew cut her off, letting her sink into his embrace. “What do you say we skip evening classes and go back to my dorm, yeah?” Andrew murmured into her ear, earning an enthusiastic nod from Y/N. He took her hand and lead her to the common room, sneaking her down the stairs to his room.

After a relatively peaceful afternoon in Andrew’s room, Y/N glanced over at the clock and noticed the time. “Oh, man. Dinner is over. I’ve got to go,” she announced, jumping up from the bed and grabbing her clothes from on top of Andrew’s trunk. “Excuse me? Where exactly do you have to go?” Andrew scowled as Y/N quickly changed out of Andrew’s pajamas and back into her clothes. “I made plans last week to hang out with Lily and Marlene and the guys in the common room tonight,” Y/N explained, leaning over to peck Andrew’s cheek before rushing out of his dorm and up the stairs before he could even register what happened. After a moment, Andrew shot up out of the bed and bounded after her, catching up just before Y/N made it to the common room.

“I don’t recall saying that you could leave,” Andrew snarled, grabbing Y/N’s wrist tightly and yanking her back to him, not letting her go. “I had already made the plans with them,” Y/N mumbled, ducking her head. “I already told you not to hang out with them,” Andrew snapped. “Just let me spend a couple of hours with them, and then I’ll come spend the night with you, yeah?” Y/N pleaded hopefully. She reached up to cup Andrew’s face in her hand, but he swatted it away. “They don’t want you, you worthless piece of shit! Are you too stupid to understand that? Are you too stupid to do what you’re told?” He seethed, fighting his grip on her wrist. Y/N bit her lip and tried her hardest to fight back her tears. Andrew didn’t like when she cried.

“Answer me, you little bitch!” He barked, unaware that another person was making his way up the stairs behind him. “Andrew, you’re hurting me,” Y/N whimpered, gently trying to twist her wrist out of his grip. “I didn’t fucking ask that,” Andrew snarled, yanking Y/N so that she was flush against his body and he was towering over her. He learned his head down a little so his nose was almost touching hers. “You worthless piece of shit. When are you going to realize-” “You have three seconds to let go of her, or the next time I ask I won’t be so nice,” Sirius’ voice came from behind Andrew, but Andrew stood his ground. “This isn’t any of your business, Black. Run along,” he snapped, not letting go of Y/N, or making to move away from her. “Well, you see, it sort of is my business, because that is one of my best friends you’ve currently got your filthy little hands on. Oh, and your three seconds are up,” Sirius replied coolly.

Within half a second, Andrew was being yanked away from Y/N and Sirius had landed a a right hook, straight into Andrew’s cheekbone. With a grunt, Andrew retaliated by throwing a solid punch to Sirius’ nose. Sirius nearly growled, and tackled Andrew, causing both boys to tumble down a few stairs onto the next landing, Y/N running after them. Sirius used all of his strength to land on top of Andrew, and began throwing punches below him, where Andrew sat. “Stop!” Y/N cried, finally finding her voice. “That’s not how you fucking treat a lady,” Sirius panted, obviously growing tired, but not letting up for a second. “Especially not that amazing one,” Sirius lost his focus for one moment to point over to Y/N, and Andrew got the opportunity to land a swing on Sirius’s jaw. “Boys, please! Stop!” Y/N begged, only to be ignored once again.

“’M sorry mate,” Sirius snarled, shifting his weight so that Andrew was completely pinned beneath him. “It seems you have failed to realize that you are not in control of this situation.” Sirius was able to get one more punch in before Y/N placed a hand on his arm and gently tugged. “Please, Sirius,” she whimpered. “Stop.” Sirius’ eyes softened and he stood up, protectively putting his arm around the shaking girl. “You bother her again, I will not hesitate to make every second of the rest of your life hell,” Sirius growled to Andrew before leading Y/N up to the common room.

“Oi, Padfoot!” James exclaimed as Y/N and Sirius emerged from the stairway.  "How long does it take to go to the room and grab some- what the bloody hell happened to your face?!“ James exclaimed as he walked closer to Sirius and Y/N, who were still standing at the entrance to the common room. “I’ll explain later. Y/N and I are gonna take a rain check on hanging out tonight,” Sirius answered, giving Y/N a gentle squeeze. James wanted to press for more, but Y/N was quite obviously shaken up, so he thought better of it. “I’ll let the others know. Do you need anything, mate?” James asked carefully. “D'you need anything, Love?” Sirius asked Y/N gently. She shook her head, keeping her eyes on the floor. “We’re alright. Thank you, Prongs,” Sirius and James shook hands before Sirius lead Y/N back to the marauders’ room.

“Y/N, are you alright?” Sirius asked softly as he lead Y/N to sit on his bed. “I think so,” she nodded, “Just a little shaken up.” “May I see your wrist, love?” Sirius held out his hand, and Y/N reluctantly reached out to let him inspect her wrist. “Padfoot, I think your nose is a little worse off than my arm,” she spoke up with a slight smile as Sirius gently brushed his fingers over her wrist. “What, this ugly thing? It’s always looked like this,” Sirius joked, earning a laugh from the small girl sitting in front of him. “We can worry about me after we worry about you,” Sirius assured her, continuing to looking at her wrist. “It’s starting to bruise,” he murmured. “I’m okay, Sirius, really,” Y/N promised. “If it will make you feel better, I’ll go see Madame Pomfrey tomorrow morning,” she placed a hand on his cheek. “Okay,” Sirius turned his head to place a kiss to Y/N’s hand, and winced when his nose brushed against her palm. “Let me fix it,” Y/N offered softly. “Alright,” Sirius nodded. Y/N stood and lead Sirius to take a seat on the bed, standing between his legs as she pulled out her wand from her robe pocket and pointed it at Sirius’ nose. “Episkey,” she said softly. A loud crack and a groan from Sirius later, Sirius’ nose was back to normal.

Y/N immediately stood up and shed her robe, and then began to look around the room until she found a facecloth. She returned to her spot between Sirius’ legs, pointed her wand at the cloth, and muttered “Aguamenti,” letting the cloth get damp enough for her liking. “This will probably be a little cold,” she warned softly. Sirius closed his eyes placed his hands on Y/N’s waist to brace himself. As soon as Y/N dabbed to the cloth on his face, Sirius’ grip tightened. “Fucking hell,” he hissed. “I know, I’m sorry. I’m almost done,” Y/N told him, pulling the cloth away from his nose for a moment. Sirius nodded, and Y/N returned to cleaning the blood away from his nose.

“There,” Y/N finally smiled. “Now your nose is just as cute as it was before.” “You think my nose is cute?” Sirius waggled his eyebrows. “Doesn’t everyone?” Y/N quipped. “I suppose,” Sirius shrugged with a smirk, before standing up and digging around his trunk for some pajamas. He pulled out a pair of sweatpants for himself, and handed a long sleeved t-shirt and a pair of boxers to Y/N. “This will probably be a bit more comfortable than your uniform,” he chuckled at the confused face she gave him. “I supposed you’re right,” Y/N nodded with a slight smile.

Sirius plopped onto his bed as soon as he finished changing. “Alright, Love. Now that we’ve assessed our external damage, are you ready to talk about what was going on out there?” He asked gently. Y/N shrugged as she sat down next to him on the bed. “That was the first time he ever got physical with me,” Y/N admitted. “Usually… usually I can handle when he gets mad, I was just afraid, because he hadn’t done that before,” she explained, staring down at her fingers fiddling with the sleeve of her shirt. “But it was my fault,” Y/N added quickly. “He told me not to go, and I did. He only ever yelled when I didn’t listen to him, or if I did something he didn’t like. And I didn’t ever intentionally do anything to make him upset, but-” Y/N was rambling, but Sirius gently interrupted her. “Y/N, sweetheart… none of that was your fault. You have to know that, love.” Y/N glanced over at him, finally taking her eyes off of her sleeve.

“The way he treated you, the things he said to you… I guarantee that you could not have done anything to deserve that. Y/N… that guy is massively fucked up in the head. He could be expelled for treating you like that. He should be expelled for it! None of the things he said are true… you know that, right, Love?” Sirius asked softly.  Y/N shrugged, gnawing on her lip and keeping her eyes on the floor as she tried to hold her tears back. “Hey, come on, Y/N/N,” Sirius opened his arms and Y/N crawled into his lap, burying her face in the crook of his neck as her tears started to fall. “Hey, you know we all love you. Me, and Prongs, and Moony, and Wormtail, and Evans, and McKinnon. All of us. You know that,” he cooed, gently running his fingers through Y/N’s hair. Y/N sniffled in response.

“Y/N, you are so smart, and sweet, and funny… you’re amazing, angel,” Sirius nudged Y/N’s temple with his nose. She still didn’t respond, but held onto him a little tighter. “I’m so sorry that he put you through that, but you have to listen to me when I tell you you that he was so, so wrong. Anything negative he said to you, Y/N, it isn’t true. I can’t even think of one negative thing about you. He just threw hateful words at you to make you feel more dependent on him. But you are so much better than him, sweetheart. So much better,” Sirius told her softly. Y/N nuzzled further into his neck and finally spoke up in a whisper, “Thank you, Sirius.” “You’re welcome, Love. I’m always here for you,” he assured her, still running a hand through her hair. “C'mon. Let’s lay down for a bit, yeah?” Sirius suggested. Y/N nodded into his neck and let go of him, sinking down into the covers. Sirius followed right behind her, pulling her close to him and burying his face into her neck. The two laid in silence for a bit before Sirius placed a soft kiss behind Y/N’s ear, and the pair fell asleep shortly after.

Y/N snuggled into something warm as she woke up, but her bliss was cut short as she began to remember everything that had occurred the night before. She moved to sit up, but a large hand gently pulled her back. “Morning, Love. How are you feeling?” Sirius asked, his voice raspy with sleep as he nuzzled into her neck. “Better I think,” Y/N shrugged before turning to face Sirius. “How’s your wrist?” He asked her. “It’s alright. A little sore,” Y/N admitted. “Let me look at it,” Sirius instructed, placing a kiss to Y/N’s nose before sitting up. Y/N sat up as well, offering her arm for Sirius to inspect. “The bruising is definitely more prominent,” Sirius frowned. “Ready to go to Madame Pomfrey?” Y/N shook her head.

“I’d actually like to go take a shower first.. Is that okay? I’ll take a shower, see Madame Pomfrey, and then meet up with you later?” Y/N asked. “Sweetheart, you don’t have to ask for permission. Whatever you’d like to do is fine,” Sirius assured her. “Okay,” Y/N nodded. “I’m going to go back to my dorm and take a shower,” she stated. “Alright, love,” Sirius chuckled. He sat in bed for a few minutes after Y/N left before changing out of his pajamas and making his way to the common room, where he found all of his friends getting ready to head to the great hall for breakfast. “Morning, Pads. Is Y/N okay?” Remus asked as soon as Sirius approached them. “Wait, what was wrong with Y/N? She seemed a little out of it at lunch yesterday, but I didn’t see her after. I figured she just spent the night with Andrew,” Marlene added. “Y/N is fine, she and Andrew are no longer together, and if you ever see him near her again, hex the hell out of him,” Sirius announced. “I didn’t like that guy anyway. I will gladly hex him into next year,” Lily shrugged.

“Alright, next topic,” James smirked as they sat down for breakfast. “You and Y/N looked pretty cozy this morning.” Sirius couldn’t help the light blush that crept across his cheeks. “I mean, she had a rough night. What better way to cheer someone up and make them feel safe than to cuddle them?” He supplied. “Black, I would totally believe you… if it weren’t for the fact that you’re blushing like Peter when any girl talks to him,” Marlene cocked an eyebrow. “Sirius Orion Black, is there something you’re not telling us?” Lily feigned offense. “I mean I care a lot about Y/N, obviously,” Sirius shrugged. “And it made my blood boil when I saw the way that Andrew was treating her,” he added. “And it was really nice waking up next to her…” Sirius trailed off. “I think that maybe the whole thing made me realize that my feelings for her are deeper than just friendly,” He finally admitted.

“I think you’d be good for her,” Lily announced. Sirius’ eyebrows shot up. “You do?” He asked her, surprised. “I mean, yeah. You’re one of her best friends, you care for her and you know her well, you’re the only one so far who really knows what went on with her and Andrew, and you seem to be helping her through that quite well. I think that she could, and has, definitely done a lot worse,” Lily smiled at him, her words making his heart speed up. “Should I talk to her about it now, or should I wait?” Sirius asked nervously.

“What are we waiting for?” Y/N asked as she took a seat next to him. “Nothing, Love.. How’s your wrist?” He shook his head, ushering her down the table a little before turning to face her. “100% better,” Y/N replied, pulling up her sleeve to show Sirius that the bruise was completely gone. “Good. It doesn’t hurt anymore?” He clarified. “It doesn’t hurt anymore,” she assured him with a small smile. “I’m glad. How are you feeling?” Sirius lowered his voice and searched Y/N’s face for any signs of uneasiness. Y/N shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m sad that we’re broken up, but it also feels like a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders,” she admitted. “I was always so worried about keeping him happy and not doing anything that would upset him, it kept me really stressed out all the time.” “Y/N, you know that isn’t love, right? That is someone emotionally abusing you and manipulating you into worshipping them and completely ignoring yourself,” Sirius took Y/N’s hand as tears started to prick her eyes. “I know,” she nodded.

Y/N looked around to see if the other marauders were paying attention and was relieved to find them deep in conversation with Lily and Marlene. “I know,” She repeated. “It’s just going to take some adjusting.” “Well I’m with you, every step of the way, love,” Sirius assured her, leaning forward to press a kiss to her forehead. Y/N squeezed Sirius’ hand, “Thank you, Sirius.” “Of course, angel,” Sirius brought her hand up to his lips and placed another gentle kiss. “Have you eaten? Are you hungry?” He asked, noticing that Y/N’s plate was empty. Y/N shook her head. “No you haven’t eaten or no you aren’t hungry?” Sirius raised an eyebrow. “Neither,” Y/N stated. “I haven’t eaten and I’m not hungry.” “When was the last time you ate? Because you left lunch yesterday and I didn’t see you at dinner,” Sirius looked at her expectantly and Y/N thought for a minute. “I think I had some toast for breakfast yesterday…” she trailed off. “With everything happening, I’m really too stressed to eat, Padfoot,” she sighed. “Love, you’ve got to stay healthy.. will you please just eat a few grapes for me?” Sirius tried to reason with her. Y/N gnawed on her lip for a few moments before giving in and reaching for some grapes.

“Oi, you two, we’re planning on going to hogsmead when we finish eating, care to join us?” James spoke up from down the table. “Would you like to go, Love? Or would you rather stay in and relax? I’m up for whatever you want,” Sirius asked Y/N. Y/N smiled and nodded. “That sounds like fun. Let’s go with them,” she said in a timid voice. “Need you to speak up, babe. You’re in charge,” Sirius grinned at her, causing her smile to grow and her cheeks to grow pink. “Let’s go with them,” she said with more confidence. “As you wish,” Sirius winked at her before standing up and offering her his hand. “We’re ready when you are,” he smiled to James.

“Y/N, I saw a dress at Gladrag’s last week that would look so good on you, we have to take you to it!” Marlene announced as the 7 young wizards entered Hogsmead. “Are you talking about that light pink one?” Lily exclaimed. “Yes! With the sweetheart neckline!” Marlene gushed. “Oh, Y/N you really have to see it! It was made for you!” Lily encouraged her. “Yeah, sure,” Y/N smiled, “Let’s go see it.” “As fun as that sounds,” James grimaced, “I’d really like to do anything other than go dress shopping. How about the lads and I go down to Spintwitches and meet you ladies at the Three Broomsticks for lunch in half an hour or so?” He suggested. “That’s fine,” Lily shrugged. “Men,” she leaned over and muttered to Y/N, earning a laugh from her.

“I’d actually like to see this light pink dress with the sweetheart neckline that was practically made for Y/N,” Sirius spoke up. “What the bloody hell, mate?” Peter laughed. “Padfoot, do you even know what a sweetheart neckline is?” Remus raised an eyebrow. “Well, no, but… do you?” Sirius huffed. “Yes, actually,” Remus smirked. “Well I still want to go,” Sirius furrowed his brow and pushed his hair back. “Moony, stop giving him a hard time. You can come with us, Sirius,” Y/N smiled up at him and grabbed his hand as she and the other girls started towards the clothing store.

“Over here, Y/N!” Marlene called. “This one.” “Oh, Merlin,” Y/N sighed, “it’s beautiful.” “Try it on,” Sirius’ voice came from behind her, causing her to jump. “Sorry, love, didn’t mean to frighten you,” he chuckled. “But really, you should try it on.” “Oh, I don’t know,” Y/N smiled, shaking her head. “You sure?” Sirius waggled his eyebrows. “Alright, I want to a little bit,” Y/N admitted. Sirius continued to stare at her with his eyebrows raised and a slight smirk resting on his lips. “Okay, so I want to a lot, geez! Stop looking at me like that, I’m doing it!” Y/N laughed, covering Sirius’ face with her hands. “Only because you want to, right, Love?” Sirius grinned, taking her hands in his and bringing them away from his face. “Only because I want to,” Y/N confirmed with a nod. “Good,” Sirius gave her hands a gentle squeeze, “That’s my girl.” Y/N bit her lip and looked down, trying to hide the blush covering her cheeks. “I’m um, I’m gonna go try it on,” she said softly, pulling her hands out of Sirius’ and taking the dress off of the rack.

“MERLIN’S BEARD YOU ARE SO HOT CAN I MARRY YOU?” Marlene shouted as Y/N stepped out of the dressing room. “Marlene!” Y/N giggled. “Keep your voice down! People are going to stare!” “They should!” Lily interjected. “Look at you! Where’s Sirius? Sirius!” Lily called. Sirius was approaching the girls within seconds. “What’s up Evans- whoa,” He smiled as he saw Y/N. “Good whoa, or bad whoa?” Y/N asked, nervously chewing on her bottom lip. “Good whoa, definitely,” Sirius assured her. “You look beautiful, Love.” “Thank you, Sirius,” Y/N blushed. “I think I’m going to buy it,” Y/N stated. “Yeah?” Sirius smiled. “Yeah,” Y/N nodded. “I’ll just go change back into my clothes and then I’ll pay for it and we can go, if we’re all done here,” she announced.

As Y/N went back to the dressing room, Sirius made his way to the counter. “Excuse me, the pink dress that was in the window, how much is it?” He asked the shop owner. “What are you up to, Black?” Marlene raised an eyebrow as she approached him. “Nothing Y/N doesn’t deserve,” he shrugged, his cheeks turning a bit pink. “It’s 10 Galleons,” The owner informed him. “A girl is about to come up here to buy it, don’t let her pay a Knut. Here,” he instructed, handing over 10 galleons. “That’s sweet of you,” the lady smiled as she took the coins. “Very sweet,” Marlene agreed, shooting him a knowing look. “Okay, I’m ready!” Y/N called, making her way over from the dressing rooms. “I’ll meet you girls outside,” Sirius called back. “Me, too,” Marlene called, following him out. “I’m right behind you!” Lily added, making her way to the door as well. “Ookay then,” Y/N muttered to herself.

“Excuse me, miss,” She spoke up when she reached the desk. “I’d like to purchase-” “It’s already been paid for, dear,” the lady at the desk cut her off. “What?” Y/N laughed nervously. “It seems you have a handsome admirer,” the lady winked, taking the dress from Y/N and folding it before placing it in a bag. “I what?” Y/N asked, eyes wide. The lady subtly motioned to Sirius standing outside. “He must be very sweet,” she told Y/N. Y/N laughed lightly. “He is, yeah,” she blushed. Have a nice day, dear,“ the lady gave Y/N a knowing smile before handing her the bag. “And good luck.”

“So, everyone ready to head to The Three Broomsticks?” Sirius asked nonchalantly as Y/N exited the shop. “Yeah,” “Let’s go,” Lily and Marlene shrugged and began walking. Sirius made to follow them, but Y/N took his hand and held him back for a moment. “Everything okay, Love?” He asked her, still playing it cool. “Thank you, Sirius,” Y/N said softly, leaning up to kiss his cheek. “You didn’t have to do that.” “I know I didn’t. I wanted to. You’ve had a rough couple of months and an extremely rough couple of days. You deserved a break,” he shrugged. “Still.. Thank you,” Y/N reached over to give his hand a squeeze before she started walking to catch up with Lily and Marlene. “Hey,” Sirius spoke up as he followed her through Hogsmead. “Hm?” Y/N raised her eyebrows, but didn’t stop looking for Lily and Marlene to look at Sirius. “How would you like to go to Madam Puddifoot’s and we can meet up with everyone else back at school?” He offered, causing Y/N to stop in her tracks. “I’d like that,” she smiled. Sirius offered her his arm and she took it, letting him lead her to the tea shop.

The two were seated in a small booth at the back of the shop. The place was unusually empty. Other than a two or three couples scattered around the place, Y/N and Sirius were the only patrons. “Y/N, can I talk to you about something?” Sirius spoke up after their tea had been served. “Um, yeah, of course?” Y/N nodded. “I know it’s not the best time, but I feel like I’m not being completely honest with you if I don’t tell you, and you deserve to know,” Sirius started. “Pads, I appreciate you trying to be gentle about it but you’re kind of freaking me out. What’s up?” Y/N laughed nervously. “I just- I really like you, Y/N/N, and I don’t expect you to feel the same way, I know you just got out of a horrible relationship. I just wanted you to know,” He explained, gnawing on his bottom lip as he waited for her response.

“Sirius, I,” Y/N took a deep breath. “I want to say that I like you, too, but that wouldn’t be fair to you. A lot has happened in the last day and a half, and I really don’t know how I’m feeling,” she bit her lip. Sirius nodded his head, keeping his eyes down on the table in front of him. “I think I like you,” Y/N admitted. Sirius raised his eyebrows and looked up from the table to her. “You make me happy, you always have. You make me feel like I’m worth something, like I’m special. I feel safe with you,” Y/N shrugged. “I just don’t want to mistake any of that for something more because I’m a little unstable right now,” she laughed nervously, earning a chuckle from Sirius. “I don’t think you’re unstable, but I understand,” he assured her with a nod. It was silent for a moment. “I think I’d like to try,” Y/N spoke up. “Yeah?” Sirius asked, surprised. “Yeah. If we could go really slow, let me figure things out and stuff,” she shrugged. “Of course, yeah,” Sirius nodded.

“Do you want to? Even if I need to go really slow, and if I’m still trying to work out my feelings? I don’t want this to be like "post-breakup” feelings and then you end up hating me forever-“ "Y/N, I couldn’t hate you even if I wanted to. I want whatever makes you happy,” Sirius interrupted her. Y/N shook her head. “I want to know what you want, Sirius. This isn’t just about me, it’s about both of us,” she told him. “I want to be with you, Y/N. Even if we have to go crazy slow. Even if it you do have to work out your feelings. Especially if it’s for real and not "post-breakup” feelings… does it feel like that? Like you don’t really have feelings for me?“ He asked nervously. "No,” Y/N shook her head. “It feels real,” she said quietly. “Well that’s good enough for me. I’d like to be with you while you sort everything out,” he smiled, taking her hand. “Crazy super slow?” She asked with doe eyes. “Crazy super slow,” Sirius smiled, bringing her hand up to his lips. “I’m with you, my love.”

A/N: I’M SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG BUT I FINALLY DID IT!! ♡♡♡ Let me know what you think but please be nice! 

Tagging my lovelies @ra-veela-claw @i-mean-siriusly-come-on @argentinemango @kbaille92 @allertonn and @espressoo-patronum ♡♡♡

Masterlist

Buy me a cup of coffee

[coderealizeheadcanons]

I had a really weird dream and now I wanna see it in a head canon. What would happen if the Code Realize gang got an all expense paid vacation on a tropical cruise?

AHH, I love this idea! Mod S here, by the way. ^^

I’d love to do this one. Code: Realize Characters on a Tropical Cruise. Please don’t hesitate to let us know if you need anything else. Have a great day; you’re wonderful.

How it Happens

Naturally it’s Saint Germain who starts it. A friend of his from another country invites him and whatever guests he wants to bring on a vacation sailing a yacht towards the Caribbean. Originally he was going to refuse, but when Cardia mentions off-hand that she’s never seen the ocean or been on a boat, he changes his mind. 

He approaches the other members before Cardia to ask if it’s a good idea. For the most part, they agree, particularly Impey and Lupin. They agree to surprise Cardia with the trip the day before. 

When they tell her, she’s so excited she starts packing immediately. However, Saint Germain gives her some money to buy a bathing suit and some sundresses for the trip. Though Cardia objects at first, she agrees and purchases some appropriate clothing. 

The next day, they all take a couple carriages to a dock where they see the large yacht Saint Germain’s friend. It takes a bit to get all the luggage on the boat, but they set sail shortly afterward. The owner of the boat let’s Cardia take a turn with the wheel, and Impey agrees to be the chef for their entire trip. 

They sail for a little over two weeks. While they enjoy their trip, they are glad to be back on dry land for an extended period of time. But they make plans to take another one again soon. 

Some Crazy Things That Happen On Their Trip: 

Victor, for the first couple days, gets terribly sea sick. His face is green for at least 48 hours while they sail. While he gets the worst of it, Van, Impey and Cardia also feel a bit woozy while on the boat, too. But Saint G, Lupin and the captain just laugh at them. 

All the guys are enraptured with Cardia’s cute outfits and her bathing suit. Though she feels just as nervous seeing them all topless. There isn’t much talking out on deck in the morning on the first day out on the boat. Impey flirts with Cardia a lot, but naturally Van and Victor help reign him in. Lupin and Saint Germain flirt with Cardia too, but much more subtly. They don’t get reprimanded. 

Cardia accidentally drops her favorite sun hat in the ocean water. Impey dives in the water after it. He gets it, but then he can’t climb back up. Lupin, Van, Saint G and Victor all have to hold each other’s arms and hang off the side of the boat to get him out. They scold him, but Cardia thanks him for getting her hat. Impey’s just happy to help and professes he would jump off most anything if it meant being Cardia’s hero. 

Lupin invites Cardia out at night on the deck of the boat to see the stars, which are more vivid and beautiful then out in the city. Lupin plans to make the evening romantic, but he’s foiled when the rest of the guys ask to star gaze with them. Lupin knows that they all did so on purpose, but he caves when he sees how happy Cardia is to be with everyone. Lupin makes a promise to Cardia that they’ll stargaze by themselves one night. 

They dock for a little while in the Caribbean, and they are all excited to see the English settlement there. Saint Germain and Cardia go out to the market and buy some local fruits, mangoes, which they share together back on the yacht. The juice from them is so abundant that Cardia has to keep it from dribbling onto her chin. Once, Saint Germain wipes Cardia’s mouth with the tip of his finger and licks off the juice. It makes her blush, and Saint Germain just giggles. 

While wandering out on the town, Cardia runs into a small group of nobleman who approach her and ask where she’s from. She feels uncomfortable and tries to leave, but one grabs her and tells her to come back to his mansion with him because his father is wealthy. Cardia shoves the man off, but the others go to grab her too. 

Luckily enough, Van shows up and sticks the barrel of his gun on the throat of one of the men. They run scared, and Van scolds Cardia for not defending herself more. He decides to spend the rest of the outing with her, and they buy each other matching bracelets from a local vendor. 

Victor gets caught up in helping a woman whose son has fallen gravely ill. He faints in the middle of the town and the mother begins to scream for a doctor. Victor, of course, rushes over and can see he’s got a high fever, so they take him back to their home and begins to treat him. 

After two days, the fever breaks and Victor is rewarded a very, very large sum of money for his deeds. He says he plans to use it for something good back home, but he does splurge a bit and buys Cardia a handmade dress. Cardia hugs Victor, very impressed with his good deed. 

The journey back home is a bit more quiet than last time. One night, however, most of the guys break into some wine they brought back from the settlement and all but Cardia and the captain get drunk. Impey almost falls out of the boat and takes Victor with him. 

Cardia and the captain manage to pull them back from the edge. In his drunken stupor, Impey says Cardia is his wife, but then a drunken Lupin retorts that if anyone is Cardia’s husband, it’s him. Cardia’s gets embarrassed, but it gets worse: Van angrily snaps that he’d make a better husband than both of them. Victor and Saint G both end up saying they would. Cardia can’t handle the giant argument about who should be her husband, so she goes and hides in her cabin.