#because that is what they do; mess things up with their chaotic energy

[i-only-ever-asked-questions]

Hand holding aside, I have been thinking about the body swapping vs. the appearance swapping (body changing? big-miracle-energy shapeshifting?) and there is something sad about losing that interpretation I think.

Yes, now it makes more sense how Aziraphale would feel comfortable enough mischievously changing the collar from red to tartan since it would be creating something himself as opposed to making alterations to something borrowed. But still, I think we are losing something that started building in Episode 5. Crowley and Aziraphale are known for taking undeniable truths of the universe and turning them on their heads, for saying "why not?". Demons don't sleep? Angels don't eat? ok, fine, you can do this to blend with humans. How about Angels don't dance, it's a distinguishing characteristic of an angel right? Or, angels don't tempt? Demons don't bless? All these are things that everybody knows don't happen, that's not how the universe works.... except it does, because Crowley and Aziraphale have made it work. So, episode 5. Aziraphale gets discorporated and wants to get back to Earth but he doesn't have a body. Undeniable truth: you can't go to Earth without a body Except Aziraphale goes "why not?" (gotta love Michael's expressions)

Oh! but demons can possess humans! Sorry pal, another undeniable truth: Demons can, but angels can't And here comes Aziraphale again "why not?"

At the bar, the next idea comes up, an angel inhabiting the body of a demon! And this one, this one is so strange, so out there that Aziraphale rejects it right away "pity I can't inhabit yours" and Crowley gets completely weirded out, "I am not going to go there"

But the idea was there. If they had switched bodies, it would have meant that they took this, this "fact" that angel (essence? true form? true self?) and demon flesh can't mix and possibly the same with demon essence and angel body and turned it on its head! We see the first reaction at the idea is rejection, of being too weird. But so was the idea of the arrangement when it was first brought up. I really liked the progression of going from this to their "why not?" and then going and defying that universal truth again doing the body swap (body borrowing? corporation swap?) and I am sad to see it go. On the bright side now we have a situation where this is entirely within the realms of possibility, and a whole new world of shenanigans has opened up! And anyway, they like holding hands

[soapyblubbles]

*.•° 𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 °•.*

pairings: poly!marauders x nymph!reader

summary: james introduces you to his two friends

warnings: implied “sharing.” do with that what you will.

a/n: who was gonna tell me that i actually have to check my inbox to know if i have asks 🙊 anyways this is set before pieces of me !! this is dedicated to the anon who asked me about nymph!reader back in august 😭

You tug roughly on James’ arm, mindlessly cooing as you pull him deeper into the cave.

He doesn’t understand anything that you’re saying, but still he nods along enthusiastically, intently focused on each syllable that leaves your mouth. You had been surprised when he showed up earlier than usual, especially when you realized he had brought others along with him.

The two trail behind uncertainly, their rising alarm resting sour on your tongue.

The long-haired one made you especially wary.

He doesn’t show any outward signs of being nervous but you sense emotions better than most. His wild energy puts you on edge. His aura is bitter, like the unripe fruit that dangles from the trees that tower over you when you journey into the forest. There’s also a hint of sweetness reminiscent of the nectar that the bees sometimes bring you.

If the long-haired one is the fruit then the tall one is the branches, balancing out his companions' wild nature with his never ending patience. That’s not to say he doesn’t have any chaos of his own. You can feel it writhing underneath his skin, especially when he shifts around every now and again, rubbing the back of his neck in discomfort. Though you think that it might be because of how he’s forced to hunch over every now and again, the tips of his hair brushing against the jagged ceiling whenever the floor of the cave gets too uneven.

The taste of honey dew makes your mouth water, along with a richness similar to the dark colored treats James brings you every once in a while.

“Are we almost there?” James’ hushes them and a frown forms on both their faces. You peer at them with interest.

“James.” The tall one scolds, his throat raspy with sleep. “Don’t ignore us.”

He rolls his eyes, “Yes, yes, we’re almost there. Merlin, all you have to do is wait a few more bloody minutes.”

“Well excuse me if I decide to ask a couple questions when you drag me in the middle of the forbidden forest at this hour.” The tall one hisses back, looking far more lively than he had moments before.

You tug on James’ sleeve, straightening up as his attention instantly falls back to you. “Yes, love?”

You gesture to the cave, turning back to stick your tongue out at the two behind you. Although they're infinitely confused, there’s no doubting the fact that you’ve piqued their interest.

“Bloody brat.” The two mutter in unison.

James ignores them, trying his best to listen to your incomprehensible, but excited mutterings.

“Found the poor thing bathing in a creek when I was roaming around as Prongs.” James sighs, clutching his wand tightly as he walks the familiar path.

They stop just as you reach the entrance to what looks like a house, gazing around in awe as the glass bottles and mason jars start to come to life, fireflies moving around in them restlessly. The unnatural glow coming from the small pond by the back alcove couldn’t be from anything but magic. You lead them further into the room, pointing to the small collection of rocks and other random items, sorted in a chaotic manner.

“Wow.” The shorter one whispers breathlessly.

You push James on your makeshift bed, made up of moss and hay. You sidle up to his side with a contented hum. “Brought her some stuff when I could. But for now I figured I’d share her with m’best mates.”

They both pause at that.

“What?”

“Trust me, the poor thing can barely even understand us.” He assures his tall friend.

Seeing how unconvinced they still were, he sighs and turns to you. You perk up at his attention, letting the small stones you were messing with fall to the floor as you give him a bright smile.

“You’re just a dumb little nymph aren’t you?” He coos down at you. You nod along eagerly, eyes shining with adoration as he mocks you.

“Such a dumb girl, who’s my dumb girl, huh?” His voice was not unlike the voice one would use when speaking to a puppy and you just smiled along, practically bouncing in place at his upbeat tone. You latch onto his arm, fiddling with the fabric on his jacket.

James sighs at your actions, pulling you closer into him, your teeth making a soft ‘click’ every time you bite down on the material.

Sirius gives Remus a heavy look, the long haired boy looking doubtful when Remus walks over, hunching over you. His slender finger trails up and down your calf. “Such a pretty girl.”

You must’ve understood what he said because no sooner did those words leave his mouth, did your legs wrap around his waist, pulling him forward harshly.

With a speed that surprised even him, his arms shot out to either side of your head, letting out a loud groan as a few small rocks dug into his palms, just barely managing to stop himself from crushing you.

You let out a series of loud clicking and chirping noises, unaware of how improper your actions were. He lets out a huff, rising to his knees as you continue to babble nonsensically. “You don’t do that. You understand? Tha’s not nice and someone could’a gotten hurt.” His tone is firm and you squirm in place, peering up at him with wide eyes.

James had never spoken that way to you before.

Bashfully, you turn away from him, hiding your face in the crook of James’ neck. “Hey mate, don’t be rude to my best girl. Just cause I’m sharing ‘er doesn’t mean you need to be a prick to the poor thing.” He grumbles, petting your head softly.

Remus just sighs, shaking his head at you two before calling out, “Are y’just gonna stand there all evenin’?”

Sirius, who was still wandering around the cave, shook his head, as if coming out of a daze. “Sorry mate, s’just cool in here.” He moves to sit down, but freezes when your head snaps to him. You bare your teeth, hissing with furrowed brows as you eye the way he’s just a little too close to James.

James lets out a booming laugh as Sirius’ features morph into a scowl.

Remus slaps James’ arm. “Be nice.”

[a-hazbin-reader]

Hello! I just found your blog a couple days ago and I love your stuff!! I like that you mark everything as either being romantic or platonic (as an aromantic, I would like to say you are a saint for doing that) , and all the little pictures and memes bring me immense joy

I was wondering if you could do a platonic alastor x reader where reader makes/made a deal with Alastor. Like full on, sold-their-soul-to-him, no-takesies-backsies kind of a deal.

And like, maybe Alastor doesn't care about them that much at first, but they slowly grow on him? And reader doesn't like alastor that much either, but they have the same dark, chaotic energy and they just sorta click eventually. (and maybe some Rosie in there too??)

Omg you're so sweet for this 😭 Some of the platonic ones are my FAVE! Plus, I get that not everyone is looking for romance 🤧

Alastor X Reader Headcanons

Plus a little Rosie X Reader

❌️Romantic

✅️Platonic

TW: Cartoonish antics, little bit of violence, Alastor being Alastor, Reader lost their soul

Description: ☝️⬆️

You didn't think Alastor was serious when he said he wanted your soul, who tf does that??

Alastor, that's who, you dummy

To be fair, you totally thought you were going to win but imagine your shock when chains suddenly appeared on you like a leash

Bullshit bullshit bullshit

He has you working at the hotel with Husk and Niffty but you go out of your way to mess things up for him

If you're gonna be his pet then you're going to be a nightmare pet

Maybe he'll decide you're not worth the trouble and give your soul up?? That's a thing that happens right?

So you do little things to fuck with Alastor, big enough to annoy him but subtle enough to be an accident

He wants you to make him tea? Oops!! You've poured salt instead of sugar and now he's choking down salty tea because he's too proud to admit you pulled one over on him

Not him giving you a death glare from over his cup

"How is it~?"

"Delightful."

He wants you to wash the dishes? Fine but you're going to drop and break his favorite mug and every replacement he gets

You're so clumsy

You have to carry his bags?? Fine then-

No, you know what? Niffty can carry the bags she's much more strong and sturdy than she looks

You're no fun

The point is, if Alastor is going to make your life miserable because he owns your soul, you're going to give it right back

You don't even make the punishments fun for him

He doesn't stop seeing you as his worst deal until your both suddenly faced against the same foe

Some idiot Vox hired to pick a fight with Alastor and for some reason Alastor picked you to handle it

Watching you play with your prey reminded Alastor of himself, giving him a few good chuckles

By the time you were done, your opponent had practically pissed themselves to death, terrified by your maniacal nature

After the fight while you're being patched up, you and Alastor share a few laughs as you retell what happened

And then you two laugh about Vox

And then you two laugh about how your opponent died

Nobody else is laughing you sick fucks

There's a change in your dynamic after that day, the two of you becoming partners in crime

Those pranks and punishments you two used to use on each other? Now you're combining forces to use them on everyone else

Everyone thought things would be better once you two put aside your differences

But this is so much worse

They find excuses to just send you two out of the hotel so they can have some peace and quiet

You just feed off each other's worst energies and keep making each other worse

The only mitigating force for you two is Rosie, she's the only one who can get you two to slow it down

"Alright! Hold it!"

Not the two of you being scolded by her, looking like two little kicked puppies because Rosie won't let you two blow up a shop

But the owner is so sleazy!!!

No, you two can't pretend to be repairmen so you can break into people's homes and destroy their tvs

She won't even let you write fake fan mail to Vox, slowly gaining his trust as his number one fan only to shatter his heart in some devastating and public way

Wtf is wrong with you two

She just knows how best to handle the two of you and doesn't really mind how twisted the two of you get to be

She finds it adorable

You are besties by that point, an unstoppable force that wreaks havoc on anything in your path

Oh and sweet Rosie is there too

Holding the leashes for you two

You almost forget he owns your soul and so does he most days, the two of you seeing each other more and more as equals

Or at the very least, friends 🧡

Maybe you've earned your soul back

Nah, keep it

This was so fun! I really hope you liked it!

[adventuringblind]

Mentor Them

Lando Norris x Reader X Carlos Sainz

Genre: Smut

summary: Carlos teaches his teammate some good bedroom skills. feelings come to light in the process.

Warnings: Smut, PinV, porn with plot, oral (m and f receiving), denial, overtimulation, Dom Carlos, Sub reader and Lando, bandage

Notes: You know who you are. You did this to me. I will not be speaking on the subject.

Masterlist

Carlos has taken a liking to his younger teammate. He’s also taken an interest in said teammates relationship.

Lando, in the year and a half Carlos has known him, has kept the same girlfriend. But the thing that fascinates him is how oddly similar they are. The only difference is their energy. Lando is a bit more bouncy and chaotic, whereas she is soft-spoken and shy.

Carlos knows it’s weird. But he’s also not oblivious and incredibly intuitive. He notices the flustered laughs and blushes Lando gets when he’s around. He sees how the female looks at him until he catches her.

He knows both well. Wherever one is you can find the other not to far behind. It’s like they are each others safety blanket.

Is it bad he wants to absolutely ruin both of them? He tries not to think about it to much. They just look so soft together that he can’t help himself.

It’s after a race one afternoon that Carlos realizes he may have his fantasy fulfilled after all.

Lando came knocking on the door of his room in the McLaren motorhome. He was already blushing when Carlos let him inside. For the first time in a long time, there is no female in sight and Carlos thinks something bad may have happened.

“I need to ask you something and you’re not aloud to laugh at me.” The Brit says in an arguably strict tone.

“Anything. I won’t laugh.”

“I need help with, uh, bedroom stuff.” He looks down in shame ad Carlos is quick to stand up and lift Lando’s gaze to meet his.

“There is no shame is asking about that.”

Lando looks like he might go into shock but he manages a simple “Okay.”

~

Carlos goes over everything him and Lando had talked about on his way to their room. The two are trying to experiment but have no idea where to start.

Is he taking advantage of the situation? Probably. But for right now he’s just going to let himself enjoy it. Teach them a few things. Maybe even make a mess of them both in the process.

The one thing he’s mildly concerned about is the female. lando had made it clear that he doesn’t care what happens, but she has a tendency to not speak up if she doesn’t like things because she’s afraid of disappointing. It doesn’t help that she is shy and even struggles talking to Carlos despite having known him for awhile now.

Lando also mentioned her ability to not make any sounds during sex like her life depends on it. Her entire body could be spasming and she could still be silent. Another habit he’s hoping to break tonight.

He takes a deep breath and knocks on the door.

~

She has no idea what to expect. Lando and her had been thinking about this for some time now, inviting Carlos to join them. She just wasn’t sure what the whole ‘experimenting’ excuse is about. Her and Lando have done plenty of that!

Dynamics are a little funky a times because they’ve both had to learn to be switch’s. They fumbled for a bit, but she thought they’d done plenty of that and that their sexual health is fantastic.

Then he explained that he kind of fibbed because this counts as experimenting, technically speaking. He also said that Carlos didn’t hesitate to say yes and got excited at the proposal. It makes her wonder if Carlos has also thought about them in this way.

Lando sits next to her on the bed. His arms wrapped around her and his head in the crook of her neck. “remember Carlos doesn’t know how to read you like I do. You’ll have to communicate verbally with him.” She just hums. She doesn’t know why she does it, her voice just leaves during sex and it’s so hard for her to speak. “For me, please?”

“I will, for you.”

They don’t get to continue their conversation as they hear a knock at the door. Lando bounds to go and greet their guest and she curls herself into the corner of the bed. Just her and her breaths for a minute.

The curious sound of something hitting the wall fills her ears. Then follows the wet sound of sloppy kisses and a few moans. Finally they come into view and she can see Carlos smothering Lando in a full mouth kiss. She even thinks she can see the swipe of their tongues every now and then.

When Carlos pulls away, he looks between them with hunger. “Why do I feel like you two actually know exactly what you’re doing?”

“Cause I sorta kinda fibbed.”

“I can tell by the way you let me shove my tongue down your throat with ease.”

Lando blushes at the statement. ‘Oops.”

Carlos sits on the end of the bed and swings himself around to face the female. He motions for Lando to join and a small smirk tugs at his lips when he obeys.

“Complete transparency: I have thought about this for awhile now.”

She exchanges a look with the Brit. Turns out he has been thinking about them as well. “So have we.”

“So the experimenting?”

“Technically this is experimenting.”

Carlos just shakes his head. “You could’ve just asked and I would’ve said yes.”

The girl uncurls from herself just a bit. “It’s hard to do when you have a crush on the person you’re asking.” The smile on Carlos’ face is unreal. He looks ecstatic and it makes her feel fuzzy on the inside. “We were going to ask if you wanted to try things with us. Like, in a romantic sense.”

Her and Lando look at him expectantly. The Spaniards smile seems to grow even more. “Yeah, I think I would like to try that. But I have one condition.”

“And what would that be?” Lando’s tone is a bit snarky but she knows what he’s doing. He has a tendency to rile people up quickly. Namely her. In a sexual way.

“I want to take you both apart tonight.”

The stunned silence that falls between them is ridiculous. the fact that she’s not sure what he means by that and the idea of watching that happened seems very appealing. She does not register, however, that Carlos said both of them. She’d already settled for mostly watching the two of them go at it. Not to much involvement on her end.

There are no words exchanged. Just Lando staring at the Spaniard as if waiting for his doom. Not a bad way to go out really.

And just as suspected, when there is even an inkling of confirmation, Carlos is once again choking his tongue down Lando’s throat. The two of them clamber back onto the bed with nothing but clumsy chaos.

The female curls into herself further. She watches in awe. The same feeling of losing her voice during intimate moments comes crashing over her, and she has no clue what she should do.

If she's honest with herself, she would be perfectly content just watching. She lets her mind wander to the future and what their life might look like together. If people found out what they might say.

She doesn't realize she's been spacing out until Lando is calling her name. She must have been gone a while because he and Carlos are both missing their shirts.

She feels clueless.

Carlos, in all of his beauty, gently grabs under her knees and slides her almost fully underneath him.

The hungry stare makes her squeak. It's nothing like she's ever seen before. Lando is usually needy and whiny, but this is nothing but pure untamed lust.

He hovers over her. Hands moving to pin her wrists to the mattress beneath her. He studies her. His eyes move down her body as if calculating how to best attack.

She's panting heavily. A pause. A calm before the storm.

Then something in him snaps.

His belt is off in seconds. Carlos finds Lando's wrists and uses his belt as some sort of makeshift rope. One that he won't be getting out of on his own. Lando won't be doing much touching if his hands are stuck behind him, and she wonders what Carlos is planning.

Carlos is half straddling her now. The other hand of him towering Lando. His hands gripping messy curls. "You said you can't get her to make noise? If that's the case, I feel that you haven't been doing it right." He grabs Lando's chin and directs his haze at her. "You've had such a beautiful girl, compliant even, and you haven't made her cum so hard she's praying your name?"

Carlos clicks his tongue. He strips Lando of the rest of his clothes. Completely bare. Unless you count the belt, keeping his hands from really doing anything.

"We're using colors for safe words. Are you both familiar?" She shakes her head yes in confirmation, and Lando gives a verbal answer. "I need words, princesa."

How is she ever going to get through tonight if he calls her things like that? She breathes and attempts to make her paralyzed vocal chords work. "Yeah..." it's barely even a whisper, but Carlos looks so pleased with himself.

The Spaniard maneuvers Lando back onto the bed on his knees. He grabs his jaw again and looks so stern that she thinks he might actually be upset. "You are not going to finish until you pull a noise out of her. Do you understand?"

A slurred "Yes sir" stumbles out of the Brits mouth. Then Carlos is back over her body. He tugs at the bottom of her shirt. The outer layers are shed so easily. She's not self-consciousness, even quite confident with how Lando compliments her every opportunity he gets. Yet Carlos' hungry eyes make her want to shield herself.

It's overwhelming, a good overwhelming, but still overwhelming.

"Don't hide away from me now. If you do that, I can't teach Lando how to pleasure such a good girl."

Is it possible for a human to melt? Because she is most definitely melting. Putty to be molded as the Spaniard pleases.

He works off her bra with skilled fingers. She goes again to try and close up but Carlos is quick to catch her and pin her hands.

He kisses her neck, her lips, her shoulders, the center of her chest. It's such a contrast to the roughness she saw with Lando. He's being slow and taking his time with her. Lando looks like he is enjoying being punished to an extent (he's always been a bit of a brat for her).

She sucks in a breath when Carlos' tongue and teeth find her nipples. He goes back and forth between both of them. Her breathing is heavier than it was before. More labored from the stimulation.

Still no noise.

He captures her lips again and then trails his lips all the way to the last piece of clothing she has on. Her body shivers in anticapation. He tugs at the elastic and makes eye contact with her. "Can I take these off?"

The nodding her head in response isn't going to work, and she knows that. She steels herself and forces her voice to work even if it's small. "Please." A blink, and you'll miss it type of whisper, but he hears her.

He drags them off. Hands running across her body in an almost desperate motion. He pries her legs apart easily. You'd think she was weightless. Another confidence booster since she's got a 'not a supermodel' kind of body. In her opinion, at least.

Carlos goes back to kissing her. Now, adding small bites as he goes. He's teasing the area around where she would like him to be. Again, not complaining, simply enjoying what he's giving.

He pulls away, and she huffs. He looks satisfied with it. "Maybe if you begged for it, I would keep going." He smirks. Her eyes widen in the realization that he wants to get her as vocal as possible. Not just for Lando, but for himself also.

Carlos manhandles Lando in between her legs. She can feel his warm breath clinging to her body in all the right places.

"Do you want me to just sit here or...?"

A flash of movement and a small amount of force appear out of thin air. Lando's tongue is everywhere she jeeds it to be. Carlos passes her a curious look. "Is he always like this." She shakes her head yes. If only he knew the half of it.

"Remember amour." He whispers into Lando's ear. "You pull a noise out of her, and you can finish." Then he looks at her. Gentle eyes but stern voice. "And you can finish if you want, but do not make a sound if it isn't real. Let him be desperate and learn from this."

And oh how desperate he would become.

Carlos doesn't make it any easier on him. She knew it was going to be torcher for the Brit when Carlos asked if there was lube in close proximity, and the answer was yes.

Hands are everywhere. Touching, feeling, grabbing, spreading. Her nerves are on fire from all the stimulation. Lando whining into her core and Carlos continually shoving the Brit further into her is making her feel all sorts of ways.

Her body spasms without warning. The deep sated pleasure hit her in a wave.

Silence. A little labored breathing. But still no noises pulled from her.

Carlos halts all movment. Lando cries from having no physical contact. Limbs flail like a child whose mother said no to ice cream.

"I guess we'll have to try something different, huh Landito." How Carlos can move people around so effortlessly is beyond her. The positions are reversed now. Though she is sitting more comfortably since she has her hands.

Carlos takes the courtesy of letting his hands free. The Brit immediately runs his hands all over both of them.

Carlos pulls her body into his back. Fingers caress her sides, then grabs her hair. He pulls hard enough so that she can look at him, albeit upside down in a way.

He places a chaste kiss to her nose, causing her to smile a bit. "I want to hear the words. Tell me you want me to fuck you. Tell me you want to be a good girl for me."

It comes so naturally this time. Like begging for him is her first language. It's the only thing she knows. It falls from her lips in the form of a prayer, and Carlos looks satisfied with her for it.

Something happens when he slams into her without warning. Her hands grip onto Lando's thighs, and her mouth falls open.

Something between a shreik and a moan leaves her, and it's shocking. Carlos doesn't stop, but he's reveling in it. "See princesa, you sound so fucking beautiful. Moan for me more. Whine for me with Lando in your throat."

And so she did. Like she found her voice despite it never really being gone. Carlos had unlocked something in her mind that let her get past the mental block.

Lando looks like he might cum just to the sound of her. It's his favorite song on repeat, and every noise makes his eyes roll back further.

Praise. Both are praising her. It only makes her do it more. Her mind is so far gone that it's possible she'll never recover. Lando has gotten her here before, but never this far.

They are both gone. Deep into the glassy eyes and fuzzy headspaces that she doesn't care what happens next.

She's choking off Lando's length, but she can't be bothered to care. His hands fist her hair as he slams his hips into her face. His breathing is labored and mouth open. His words are swimming in her ears as are Carlos'.

She fell over a while ago. She's been over the edge for an insane amount of time. Lando spilling down into her throat only pulls her deeper into it.

Carlos is getting sloppy with his relentless thrusts. She feels him stutter and pulse onside of her. His angle hitting her where she wants it.

That small voice in the back of her head is glad Carlos was responsible and put on protection. He doesn't pull out until he's done.

They are all sweaty, but it doesn't matter. She finds herself in Lando's lap. He's buried in her. His hands are tracing the sensitive lines he knows so well. She reciprocated the gentle affection.

Carlos has complete control of the situation. He lays wet kisses to every area of skin he can get to. He praises and degrades in all the correct ways. Guides them through every action. Lando pulling ever sound he'd been longing to hear for over a year from the depths of her soul.

It's bliss. They'd been at it so long that she couldn't control her own body anymore. Gone are coherent thoughts.

Carlos stops them. Gently slowing both down with his hands as guides. "You're both such beautiful creatures."

They fall into a heap. Her and Lando can barely move and settle for holding hands and staring. Sleep because the best idea she has ever had. Her eyes droop.

"No sleep yet. Don't want you getting sick or subdropping on me." Carlos chuckles as he presses cold rags to their skin. "I would have you bathe, but I don't think that would I can manage you both in there."

"Thank you, Carlos, really." Mumbles Lando.

"I should be thanking you two. I've wanted this for so long. It's hard to believe it took us this long." Carlos runs a hand through his hair. "Tommorow I'm taking you two out for a real date."

"I think I speak for both of us when I say that we would love that."

"I seconds that." She mumbles before throwing herself over the boys in a head of bodies and comfort.

[cheolsfae]

𓆦 Skz when they aren't your bias

Requested: nope!

Genre: Fluff n stuff

Warning(s): Suggestive (?), slight possessiveness

Reblogs are appreciated! Requests are open! 🩵

Bang Chan:

He was absolutely thrown off. He didn’t understand why Minho was your bias. No, he wasn’t upset when you told him. Sure, his ego was bruised but that was the most he felt about it. At least, as much as he was aware of. You on the other hand knew better than that. He needed that reassurance. He had walked into the apartment seeing you on the kitchen table organizing your photocard collection (most of them of Minho). “Hey.” you piped up as he approached you. He greeted you back, he let out a groan as he picked up one of the cards. “Do you really need all the pictures of him?” You laughed lightly. No, you absolutely did not. In fact, the ones you should have should be of Chris. Or at least, that’s what he believes. “Yeah, I do. He’s so handsome! Don’t you think so?” He did not like that at all. He moved away from you and to the fridge pulling out a water bottle. His whole energy had changed. You were just teasing but today had been a rough day, you thought. He threw himself on the couch in the living room. You walked on over to him, sitting next to him, cuddling into his shoulder. It was silent for a few moments before you spoke up, “You know you’re the most handsome man I’ve ever laid eyes on?” Yeah, it was corny but if it made him feel better you were going to say it. He laughed lightly, “Didn’t you just say that about Minho?” You clicked your tongue. Never has that sentence ever left your mouth nor would it ever. Mostly because it wasn’t true! “I did not. I just said he was handsome, but you are the most handsome.” He pursed his lips and nodded, “Damn right, I am.” Back to his cocky self.

Minho:

Offended! He was very offended. Why was Changbin your bias? He was obviously better (in his own opinion). Changbin was almost the opposite of him. Minho was more “quiet” or at least that’s what he liked to believe about himself. Why would someone as quiet and innocent, like yourself, like someone so “chaotic and troublesome”? Well, you had many reasons why but you knew if you started to list them off, it would only make things worse with him. He was only going to get more jealous and possessive than he already was. As of now, you were not allowed to be alone in a room with Changbin due to this little fact he found out a few days ago. Prior to this, he was okay with it but after you had admitted it, he didn’t like it one bit. One of the other guys or himself had to be present. Yes, this was annoying. He needed to have a little more faith in you. Changbin wasn’t going to steal you away from him and he needed to know that you had chosen him over everyone. You only wanted him. At dinner tonight, that’s what you had told him. “I know that, but it doesn’t mean I like that he’s your bias and I’m not.” You rolled your eyes. It was going to be a long night with him. “Minho,” You grabbed his face in between your hands, squishing his cheeks. “I chose you. I’m with you. He isn’t going to change that. Nothing will. I’m forever yours.” With that being said, he smirked. “Mine? Prove it.”

Changbin:

Were you being serious right now? Was it really Hyunjin? How could you bias anyone besides your lovely boyfriend? No, he wasn’t the tallest man nor was he the most creative when it came to “arts and crafts”. But you know what? He was built like a brick house. He was a little intimidating with his big muscles so people wouldn’t mess with you. He could protect you! And he was funny! He knew how to make you laugh until you cried. What could Hyunjin do that he couldn’t do better besides the arts and crafts… “Honey, does it really matter? It’s just a silly bias.” It really didn’t matter, he was just letting his ego get in the way. He was letting something so silly get to him. “That’s not the point! Why am I not your bias?” You turned to look at him fully with the widest grin on your face. Him being so jealous was the cutest thing you’d seen. It was nice to feel that loved sometimes. “Because I know it gets on your nerves. Even though you know good and well, that I would never trade you for anything or anyone.” His face flared in red. He was completely embarrassed. He tackled you, “Why are you so cute? Who told you, you could be this cute?”

Hyunjin:

He wasn’t too happy to hear that Jisung was your bias. Yeah, Jisung was pretty funny but so was he in his own unique way. Hell, he could even paint. Anything you wanted! Hyunjin had his own good points. He was fully cognizant of them, he just was not sure if you were. Clearly not well enough if you had chosen someone else. Though, in your eyes, you hadn’t chosen someone else. There was no one who could replace or replicate Hyunjin in any way. He was the only one for you. So when you came home one night, he had surprised you with a fancy romantic dinner. You really didn’t know what was going on. Don’t get it wrong, it was very nice and sweet of him to do, it was just completely unexpected. “What’s all this?” You asked, clearly tired from the long day at work. “I thought you needed it.” He pulled out a chair for you. You took a seat and eyed him suspiciously, what had he done that he was trying to cover up? “Thanks, sweetheart.” you kissed his cheek. “Now, what’s the real reason you did all of this?” His eyes widened, he’d been caught. “Well,” he looked away. Very suspicious of him. This wasn’t like him at all. What had he done? “I did it so you wouldn’t leave me.” You gave him an incredulous look. What the hell was he thinking? “What? What makes you think I’m leaving you?” He shook his head, he wasn’t going to talk about this right now. Well, he didn’t want to. But if he didn’t want to he shouldn’t have brought it up because you were not going to let it go. “I’m not leaving you. Where the hell did you get that idea from?” His thought process was you biased Jisung therefore you were going to leave him for the younger. After he explained it to you, you just stared at him. “Well, are you? I understand.” You shook your head vehemently. “Never. I’m never leaving you. Stop thinking that way. It’s just a silly thing. It means nothing!” You reached across the table, taking his hand in yours, kissing it gently. “You’re stuck with me until the day one of us dies. You’ve got no choice.” He smiled, he was back to himself.

Jisung:

He did not blame you one bit. He also biased Felix he admitted. Felix was so adorable, who could resist him? Doesn’t mean that he particularly liked it though. You had been spending a lot of time with Felix lately. But that was mostly because the holidays were coming up and he needed help baking desserts for everyone as a thank you and happy holidays. But that wasn't the way Jisung was perceiving it. He thought you liked Felix better. When you came home from Felix's, you would tell him all of the silly little things that had happened while baking. Someone had mistaken the salt for sugar and you guys had to throw out a whole batch. Or when you had fallen and all of the cookie dough landed on the roof and stuck. Chris wasn't too happy about that but it was still funny. "Why don't you go with me tomorrow? We could always use more hands." He scowled, "No thanks, I'd rather not see my partner and best friend flirting." you clicked your tongue, hitting him lightly. "We aren't flirting. Come with me." He didn't say anything for a second. "It's clear you've had your eye on him since the very beginning. Remember? He's your bias." You knew you shouldn't have said anything to him about that. It was bound to start an argument one way or another. "And? I'm with you and he's one of my friends. You're the only chipmunk I want. No matter how good of a baker he is." You teased, trying to lightly the mood. "Chipmunk?" You nodded, "I'd better be."

Felix:

Devastated wasn’t even the word to describe what he felt! He was annihilated! Completely destroyed. How could you bias anyone but him? Was he not cute enough? Honestly, it was a matter of him not feeling good enough for you. The man was more than enough for you, you just happened to bias Seungmin. This had happened way before the two of you had even met. Seungmin has been your bias pretty much since day one. This wasn’t something you chose, your bias had chosen you. That was the way you had explained it to Felix, at least. The explanation didn’t make him feel any better though. He felt like he was not good enough to attract you in the first place. Which was the furthest thing from the truth! He was more than enough for you! “If that’s true then, why Seungmin?” You really didn’t know how to respond to this. Yes, you had reasons for biasing Seungmin but it would sound like you wanted to be with him more than you wanted to be with Felix which was not the case! You were afraid he would misunderstand you like he already had once before. You weren’t going to lie to him either, though. “Because of how he takes care of you when I’m not around.” Which wasn’t a lie. It was true, Seungmin did take care of Felix for you, it was the biggest reason why. “Really?” He asked, close to tears. The poor baby had taken it to heart! You nodded your head. His smile was slowly returning. You patted his head, “Feel better?” He nodded, cleaning up some of the tears threatening to fall. “Good, now come here!” You shouted before tackling him and smothering him in the affection he deserved.

Seungmin:

Jeongin? Really? Jeongin? Over himself? This was kind of surprising. He wasn’t expecting it to be him. Maybe Minho or Felix. Felix would have made the most sense, he was adorable. But no, you had chosen Jeongin. Maybe it was because he was the baby of the group? Nonetheless, he trusted you and knew you wouldn’t leave him for anyone else. He had his full trust and faith in you. Jeongin on the other hand was a different story. Mainly, because he knew the youngest would give him hell for it. He wasn’t going to be living this down anytime soon. Anytime Jeongin had the chance, he lept on it to mess with Seungmin. The whole thing was more of an inconvenience than anything else. “You have to tell him you don’t bias him anymore. I don’t know how much more teasing I can take from him. Not to mention, it’s the same joke 80 times in a row. It’s nothing he hasn’t said before.” You laughed at your partner who was flopped over on the couch. “Is it really that bad or are you just exaggerating?” He gave you a blank stare. Of course it was that bad, he wasn’t one to exaggerate like that. “Okay, if it’ll make you feel better then I’ll tell him someone else is my bias. I’ll say I switched lanes.” You giggled. “Oh? Are you going to tell him it’s me?” He wiggled his eyebrows. “Pft, no. I’ll probably say it’s Changbin or something.” He glared jokingly at you before groaning and laying face down in the pillows, “Why does my partner hate me?” You laughed and patted his head, he was going to live through this just fine.

Jeongin:

He very well understood why but that didn’t mean that he liked it. Chris was strong, talented, and very caring. There were good characteristics about him that your partner understood why you’d biased him, he just flat out didn't like it. Whenever Chris would come and talk to you while I.N. was doing something else, he'd watch you and make sure nothing funky was going on between the two of you. Nothing was ever going to happen between you two and he knew that, but he couldn't shake his paranoid feelings about it. One time, you had reached your limit with it and you marched over to him with a stern look on your face, "Do you not trust me? Do you not trust Chan? What is it?" He was taken aback by the suddenness of the confrontation. "I trust you both." you sighed heavily, "Then why are you watching us like a hawk?" He went silent for a few seconds. "Because I- I don't know. He's your bias and it makes me nervous." You furrowed your brows, "I'm not leaving you for him. Your stuck with me." You pushed your index finger to his forehead, giving him a light push. He smiled apologetically , "Good."

[justporo]

#56. Angry kisses

Oh yes - a good one! It became a little longer than I thought, oh oh. But I got into it while writing, so (just like Tav got into... stuff abfebgepi) Enjoy! I saw @leighsartworks216 do this kiss prompt thing btw and thought it might be a nice idea to slowly get back in the saddle after the holidays.

Pairing: Astarion/GN!Tav (You) | Wordcount: 1,2k | Warnings: light smut, biting MASTERLIST | AO3 | KISS PROMPTS

Lovebites

Astarion could really get you all worked up. That could be a good thing. Or it could be the cause for you to fully lose your marbles.

Before you had met him, you’d barely lost your temper. But something in the way you and Astarion and you connected allowed him to get under your skin like nobody else could have ever done. This meant he could usually quickly figure out what was wrong with you – or you with him for that matter. But gods be damned, someone that held your heart so closely in his delicate fingers sometimes only needed to squeeze it a little to bring your blood to a boil.

Your house was a mess all over. Neither of you were used to being domestic and quite frankly it was a never-ending effort to keep it all tidy.

You knew it had been your fault as well that everywhere was currently cluttered and chaotic but something in the way Astarion had brushed you off dismissively when you had pointed that out had annoyed you. Your fuse had been terribly short that day and you knew you should have let it slide but pettiness won.

You had randomly grabbed some of Astarion’s stuff and in a fit had hurled it at him while yelling at him. The rogue had dodged it easily which had made you even more angry.

What followed had been a screaming match. Up until you were standing right in front of him, your nose almost touching his as you stared at him, brows furrowed, pulse hammering. And the bastard had the audacity to let his gaze slip from your eyes to your lips.

Immediately you were made aware of how close you were to him, how heated your body felt because of the anger. You swallowed hard – as if standing so close to him and staring into his stupidly perfect face wasn’t enough already.

Astarion’s eyebrow twitched, and the corners of his mouth curled up into a smirk, realising the effect he had on you – godsdamned bloody bastard. His red eyes sparkled – posing a challenge.

“Gods, you’re so beautiful when you’re this mad at me”, he said haughtily while staring down at you. His lips stayed parted, tongue wandering over the edge of his teeth slightly, over one of his fangs. “And so delicious.”

The heat you’d felt in your chest immediately wandered down between your legs.

In a last ditch effort, you tried to conjure up anger again and pushed him away.

“Don’t make me bite you, you idiot,” you huffed. But the push had been weak and had merely caused Astarion to take a single small step back before he was right back in your face again.

“That would be a change for once, wouldn’t it? I’d like to see you try,” the vampire murmured back and leaned in dangerously close – until his lips were almost touching yours. And then he stopped. Your pulse was galloping and your body betrayed you even more when lust throbbed between your legs as you looked into your lovers eyes that promised you he’d find a way to let you work through all this pent up energy – and then some.

The teasing infuriated you even more.

With a frustrated groan you grabbed Astarion by his collar and pulled him to you forcefully to close the maddening gap between your bodies. His arms immediately wrapped around you.

The power with which you had pulled him to you had been surprising even to the rogue who struggled now to keep you both in balance. You stumbled back a few steps until you crashed into the nearest wall.

Meanwhile, your tongue had slipped into his mouth and was trying to gain dominance while you needed to press your body as closely against him as possible. The vampire moaned into your mouth, pressing you against the wall with his hips while placing both his hands next to your head on the wall. One of your hands was still clawing at his collar while the other had sneaked around his neck and was pulling his head further to yours.

Now that he had you up against a wall, you felt you were losing the upper hand. Not that you didn’t like the position you were currently in, but you were still mad at him – at least you thought you were.

You slid one leg around Astarion’s slender hips, and he immediately rewarded you by shifting them to allow for some delicious friction for the both of you. Both of you couldn’t help a moan wandering between your locked lips while you felt how badly you were both affected by this.

Simultaneously, you wanted to ride him into the ground until you both were unable of coherent thoughts while also wishing to be devoured whole by the vampire on top of you.

Neither of you had broken the kiss that had become sloppy while you writhed against your lover’s body. One of his hands had wandered down, over the leg wrapped around your waist, pulling it even higher and causing you to yelp into his mouth. He was squeezing your backside and by that making you rub against his growing arousal.

You were ready to just forgive and forget whatever had led you to this position in the first place if it only meant you could let Astarion unravel you – slowly or violently, you didn’t even care as heat consumed your whole body.

But then you felt how the corner of his mouth curled upwards and you saw the triumphant glint in his eyes while he ground his hips into yours once more, drawing a breathless sound from you unwillingly while his tongue licked up over your teeth.

That made some of your earlier anger rise up again. Acting on a whim, you grabbed the vampire’s face and deepened the kiss once more for a few moments, overwhelming the vampire. And then you caught his bottom lip firmly between your teeth and with a growl pulled while your hands clawed in his hair – hard.

Astarion whimpered slightly and pulled back reflexively, taking a step back, releasing you.

You were a bit stumped by your own action and stood there flushed and breathless, lust racing through you and hoped you hadn’t gone too far.

But the vampire was already grinning while rubbing his fingers over his bottom lip you’d bitten into.

“You naughty little minx,” he whispered while his gaze promised you he’d get you back for that.

“I told you, I would bite you,” you replied, emboldened by the way Astarion prowled closer again and you felt the tension between you had heightened even more.

“Yes. Yes, you did, you feisty thing,” the vampire said in a deep tone, looking at you from under his brows now. “Too bad for you though that that only spurs me on, my love.”

He moved to close the gap between you once more, but you decided to push your luck once more. With quick movements you jumped up into his arms, hoping he’d catch you.

And he did, despite almost losing balance.

Astarion looked up at you while softly shaking his head at you and your insolent behaviour.

“If that is so – take me to somewhere more comfortable and I promise I will bite you again”, you murmured and rolled your hips in his arms, emphasizing your point.

Astarion simply grinned up at you wolfishly, baring his fangs. And then he did as you had asked.

Tag list: @spacebarbarianweird @sunfire-ancunin @tragedybunny @dependsonthedream @tallymonster @magazzne @micropoe10 @aoirohi @my-bunny-prince @lumienyx @fayeriess @darlingxdragon @hereliesblackdragon @ayselluna

[steddieasitgoes]

@steddiemas Day 19 Prompt: Steddie as Parents

Tags: Established Relationship, Good Parent Steve Harrington, Good Parent Eddie Munson, Christmas Fluff, Elf on the Shelf, Eddie Munson Is A Menace, The Return Of Marley Harrington-Munson

wc: 1079 | Rating: G

Read on ao3 | ao3 collection

Steve and Eddie grew up thinking the highlight of being a parent around the holidays was getting to partake in any and all Santa traditions. To some extent it is, they both love taking Marley to see the big man, and watching her open the gifts they worked hard to secure is always a top ten moment of the year. But Santa isn’t the only highlight for kids anymore. Nowadays Elf on the Shelf is all the rage and they’re fully on board.

Maybe too on board if they’re being honest.

See, Steve and Eddie have very different approaches to the Elf on the Shelf madness that transpires in their house during the month of December.

After one too many heated arguments over what the Elf should do next, they found a compromise. Steve is in charge of Mango the Elf on even days, Eddie on odds, and neither one is allowed to criticize what the other chooses to do.

Not only does it preserve the Christmas magic for Marley, who nearly stumbled in on the two of them playing tug-o-war with the stupid Elf at two in the morning three years ago, but it also saves their marriage. Steve can’t think of many other things that would be more embarrassing than admitting to a marriage counselor that they’re there because of a damn Elf.

Like clockwork, Mango the Elf arrives on December 1st in a chaotic flurry that Eddie manages to one-up every year. Steve has no idea how he does it, but even he can’t help but marvel at the creative scenes Eddie manages to create — especially this year’s which saw Mango arrive by way of a hot air balloon.

It was a tough act to follow, but the two have made it clear that competition has no space in Mango’s antics. After all, it’s all about putting a smile on Marley’s face. How big that smile is shouldn’t matter.

(It definitely does.)

After scouring Pinterest for ideas and a quick call to Robin who thinks the entire Elf Shenanigans is a nightmare, Steve finds himself cutting 200 pieces of paper into snowflakes to transform their living room into a winter wonderland for Mango to play in.

And so it goes.

Eddie creates mayhem and messes — chocolate chips left in the sink because Mango used it as a toilet, toilet paper dropped over the chandelier, and worst of all, flour all over the kitchen after she engaged in a snow angel competition with Barbie.

Steve bites his tongue and focuses his energy on wholesome moments — a Christmas bow rock climbing wall, a slumber party with socks sleeping bags, and plenty of guests, and of course, Marley’s favorite: Mango’s trip to the Elf spa.

They keep each other on their toes, pushing each other to be more and more creative and Marley gets to wake up every morning to a new scene that brings a smile on her face and reminds them of the childlike wonder they were robbed of but are making up for now.

It’s a flawless plan, until disaster strikes.

“Have you seen Mango?”

“Mango?” Eddie yawns, shuffling into the kitchen. “We didn’t buy any Mangos. S’a summer fruit.”

“Not the fruit, the Elf. What did you do with her last night?”

Eddie yawns again, scratching his bare chest as he waits for the coffee to finish brewing. “I hid her like always. A good one too. You know the birdhouse in the yard? Well, it’s now Mango’s treehouse. Decorated it and everything.”

“You mean the birdhouse that is currently being swarmed by a couple of Blue Jays?” Steve asks, voice teetering in the space between calm and panic.

Abandoning the Kurig, Eddie slides across the floor and over to the window that overlooks the backyard. Sure as shit, a couple of Bluejays are going to town on the birdhouse and Mango judging by the red fabric gliding through the morning breeze.

“Oh shit! Mango!”

Steve and Eddie both sprint into the backyard. Steve works on scaring the birds off, while Eddie collects the mangled pieces that remain of Mango. A leg on the floor, an arm in the bushes across the yard. Her decapitated head lays beaten and bruised inside the birdhouse, eyes pecked out and nose completely missing. Tinsel litters the grass along with the careful construction paper decorations Eddie had spent hours making.

If he weren’t so panicked over what Marley is going to think when she wakes up, he’d be crying.

“What are we going to do!”

“It’s too late to get a replacement this year,” Steve says, shaking his head at the carnage in Eddie’s hands. “Maybe we… we write a note! Say Santa called Mango back early because Marley’s been so good and he needs extra hands on present duty?”

“That could work!” Eddie smiles, leaning over the tinsel-covered grass to kiss Steve. “Look at you, coming in clutch with a story. Told ya I’d make a storyteller out of you one day.”

Steve snorts. “Only took 15 years.”

“Better late than never.”

Steve shakes his hand before his eyes drift back over to Mango’s destroyed state. Letting out a sigh, he tips his head on Eddie’s shoulder. “Is it weird m’going to miss this thing?”

Eddie shakes his head, jostling Steve in the process. “It feels like a death. Maybe we should bury her.”

“And risk Marley digging her up in the summer?”

“You’re right. She doesn’t need that trauma,” Eddie chuckles. “Let’s have a moment of silence in her honor then.”

Steve doesn’t argue and they both duck their heads for a moment or two before a gust of wind picks up turning them into shivering messes. After hiding Mango’s form in the trash bin, they return to their warm kitchen.

“We are going to replace her though, right?” Eddie asks, finally sipping his coffee.

“Oh definitely. The minute they’re back in stock I’m buying two. One for next year and one for backup just in case your wild scenes turn disastrous again.”

“Smart thinking,” Eddie smiles. “Guess I should get started on that letter.”

Glancing at the clock, Steve nods. “Better hurry. Marley’ll be up any minute."

"Shit," Eddie says, scrambling to open their junk drawer full of pens and random scraps of paper. "Distract her for me?" 

"I'll try my best," Steve says, pressing a kiss to the top of Eddie's head before disappearing in the direction of Marley's room. 

[satoruhour]

a/n: 0.7k, geto has glasses in this / based on what i wrote below for someone:

On Sunday morning, the sun seeps into the blinds we argued over (you let me choose in the end) and there is a ripe clementine on the kitchen top. I relish at having woken up before you (because you said how European people are always early birds. Birds can oversleep too.), and seeing the mess of blonde and the freckles you said you hated so much. My thumb rubs away something on your face like how I’d peel away at the fruit and I use a little too much force. In the next hour it happens again and you laugh at how the juice misses your eye by an inch. “Thank God I have my glasses on your bedside table, at least. I’ll wear it after.” And after the mundane statement and a graze of your lips on my cheek, I realise how much I like having your things on my furniture and a just-ripe clementine for sharing each time the sun awakens.

the sun is burning when you wake up, back slick with sweat when you rouse from slumber, and you catch the culprit sinking more and more into your rear: geto suguru, one of the special grade sorcerers and a teacher at his alma mater, mumbling into your neck.

it’s a sight to see, to be honest — you’ve seen his demeanour with enemy curse users, with satoru at times — it’s nothing like how geto is when he’s with you.

a flip switched even when he senses you, because he always has a curse guarding you. his eyes soften and his features relax and sometimes he can feel his curses leaving his body with how unstable his heart is and he finds it so hard to control his cursed energy.

sleepily, you inch away from his warm body before sitting up, huffing out a sigh at how your shirt sticks to your back. you’re not complaining, but sleeping in was something you cherished, and waking up sweaty is not the best way to go about it.

you find that your body is warm like helios, but your heart burns brighter than the god’s rays that filter through the blinds that geto let you choose. you have to clutch onto your heart, shaky breaths leaving you.

because you’ve shared a bed so many times, but you still feel like the you who resided in the basketball court, watching suguru practise his shots. your cheeks are flushing from hearing him say this is for you! and then almost missing it if it wasn’t for his curses helping him.

“sweetheart? what’s up?” geto is groggy in the morning, voice scratchy and raspy from the lack of use (he doesn’t sleeptalk like gojo). you shake your head, letting your lover wrap his arms around you, pressing a kiss to your nape.

“just thinking ’bout how much i love you,” you mumble quietly, putting your hands to your face and screaming into it, feeling a smile upon your neck. “you’re so sweet and so cute and hot and—”

“you just take care of me so well.” the last part is a little sentimental, now a little embarrassed at your outburst. geto notices this, easily manoeuvring you into his lap.

“baby. of course i do,” the other removes your hands from your face, kissing both of them before putting them around his shoulders. “i’d die before i put my needs before yours.”

“if you wish to be the stars, then i’ll become the night sky that wraps around you. if you’re a praying mantis, i’d give you my body to eat up.”

you make a face at that, pushing him away at that disgusting image he put in you and he laughs; he sounds like everything right in your life and it’s like you don’t know what disgust is anymore.

“gross. and cheesy. and also was that an oral joke?”

it’s later when geto says that instead, although just the first word, because you absolutely suck at peeling oranges and clementines; you insist on doing it. you’re digging your thumbs all the wrong ways into the fruit and you burst out laughing as another spurt of juice meets with geto’s face.

it just barely misses his eye and he just narrows his eyes at you, reaching for the clementine. you just put it further and further from him, chairs scraping the floor from the chaotic scene.

although suguru is insistent on taking the fruit from you, he lets you win anyway, because it’s so natural to him. video games, random races, rock, paper, scissors. god, he’d let you win at the stupidest games. and with this simple gesture, he knows you want to take care of him.

so while there’s a scowl on his face, you know he never means it when you chase him around the house with a half peeled clementine and juices spraying from how badly you peel it and booming laughter at how he frantically puts on his glasses.

you know suguru could never mean it as long as his glasses take its place beside your phone (and his), as long as there’s clementines in a grocery bag — and as you pop a wedge of the orange fruit into his mouth and the sweet flavour of the citrus floods his mouth, geto suguru hopes you’ll never share your uneven slices with anyone but him.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hii~ as you know its spooky month!! ;)

So i was thinking about a demon reader for the tadc cast

The reader looks like a stereotypical demon( horns ,hooves ,maybe a tail idk) BUT is chaotic good

I'll leave the rest to your imagination.

Ty❤️

TADC cast x demon!reader !

gonna knock this request out real fast then go lay down; i feel all uehdoivnffvnelfnfv but i am still on that grind !!!!!!! (please dont be like me please work on trying to create a healthy work/life balance and take care of yourself) short segments for this one sorry anon :(

CAINE:

honestly he would occasionally make himself look like an angel to match with you; give himself a halo and wings and all that! loves your energy, i said it once and ill say it again, i think caine would love a chaotic reader who keeps him guessing! keep this man on his toes, hes into that, keeps things fun!

POMNI:

naturally a little put off at first but warms up to you. does she think you can be a little too much? yeah, sometimes... does she know you mean well? yeah, and she tries not to hold your way of doing things against you! sometimes you let her fidget with your tail if shes feeling nervous about something

RAGATHA:

"you may be a demon but you're the sweetest person i know!", does not miss a day where she says she loves you.. should you ever think badly of yourself and believe there was a reason you were made into a demon in this world, ragatha will immediately dismiss any bad idea you have about yourself

JAX:

SAY IT WITH ME NOW!!! ITS ADMINS FAVORITE JAX HC!!! if you have a tail hes gonna fidget with it!! bonus if it wags around, like in the tail haver reader in a previous post; this dude would find it cute too... thrives in your chaos, you two just bounce off each other... not uncommon for jax to do a little prank and you trying to correct what he messed with in the most.. well chaotic way.. probably ends with more people confused or annoyed, though

KINGER:

probably thinks youre a legitimate demon for a minute before realizing, oh wait no you arent youre just like. funky like that, digital world stuff. please try to tone down any chaotic activities around him, he is already freaking out enough as things are TToTT

ZOOBLE:

i think they would be similar to pomni, kind of put off by your energy but knows youre not a threat. plus they would rather hang out with you than half of the people here so hey, i guess you can say youre winning. thinks your horns are cool, regardless of what shape you as the reader imagine them to be. i think i also mentioned that zooble seems like the type to be into darker stuff and i think that would also tie in with supernatural stuff, and well, demons are supernatural, right? i mean youre not really a demon, but the appreciation is still there

GANGLE:

maybe this is self projection again, or maybe its because i think gangle would be an artist and this is just. a common artist trait, but they would think youre like. really pretty. thinks demons and monsters are cute, has definitely played a monster dating sim at some point before getting stuck in the digital world

not much else to say i just think this idea was a little funny for gangle.. i can kinda see zooble being a monster dating sim fan... maybe i just kin them both

[derangedanomaly]

Woi!! You're still taking requests, right? If it's okay, can you do any sanses x fem!reader who's kinda like Niffty from hazbin hotel? You know, like obsessed with cleaning, extremely hyper, and a little,,, deranged? [Cute emoji]

Bonus points if reader is short. The chaotic little rat <3

Yes! I love my girl Niffty! I swear, she's so silly. I think that this is a fun request! Thank you! And since you left me to pick out the Sanses, I'll do those that aren't requested much! Thank you for the request!

Masterlist

SANS AUS X READER THAT ACTS LIKE NIFFTY

(Sci, Fresh, Epic, Horror, Ink)

Sci:

Likes having you around, because you clean up his lab 💀

I swear, he tries to clean it up, but he just doesn't have patience and the time for it.

You're a blessing for real.

The thing he's not very happy about, is how hyper you are.. you have too much energy, that you sometimes mess up an experiment of his on accident.

He tried to observe why you're so hyper all the time, but you just kept staring at him, doing absolutely nothing

He got shocked when he realized that you completely took over his normally busy schedule.

Doesn't comment on your height, but he will laugh whenever you're trying to get something that's too high up.

Do you need a lift?

He doesn't know why, or how, but you somehow wormed your way to his heart.. this needs to be figured out!

Fresh:

The first thing he immediately noticed, (besides your height), is that you like to stare. A lot.

He gets a little uncomfortable at your staring... So he will probably just leave while you're having your own staring contest. 💀 (Him?? UNCOMFORTABLE?! The skeleton that makes everyone else uncomfortable??? Well that's a first.)

Laughs whenever you're running around cleaning everything. But when he accidentally mentions that his house is a mess, he'll immediately freeze upon noticing the FATAL mistake he just did. 💀

Shares the same amount of hyper energy as you. Which makes you a pretty good duo. That's rad brah!

I swear, everyone audibly groans whenever they see you two together. They just know that it's gonna be pretty unbearable when you're both involved.

Likes your shortness. Gives him an excuse to hold you. ❤️

Epic:

Lmao this meme master constantly jokes about your height.

Tell the bugs I said hi.💀

Doesn't appreciate whenever you're cleaning because you pay no attention to him! :(

But you're a pretty good motivation if he does say himself. Like, you're always so determined to clean everything you come across! It's a motivation, really.

Doesn't know what to think about your derangement. Kinda creeps him out at times, not gonna lie.

Horror:

Horror is pretty big, so you look like a leaf next to him.

But the difference is, is that Horror is like a cuddly bear towards you, and you're like a menace to society.

It makes him feel warm whenever he finds you cleaning.

After awhile, Horror will probably start to think that you're a married couple. You're cleaning for him, cooking for him (which he helps you out with), hell, you do SO many things for him. (He's just confused with what your relationship is 😭)

He likes how deranged you are. Makes him at ease knowing that you won't freak out when he brings a dead human home.

He keeps saying that you're like his sun. (MY HEART)

Ink:

You're both short asf. So when he makes a comment about you being short, you make one right back.

You're both just stuck in a never ending insult game about your heights. 💀

Doesn't get why you're always cleaning. He doesn't see the point if it's gonna get dirty again anyways.

The only thing he probably likes about you is how hyper you are. (You're matching energies.)

You, Fresh and Ink would be a really dangerous trio 💀

Overall, you both don't really get along. But that's only because Ink is always salty. 🙄

[pizzagame4000]

NOISETTE THEMED DOODLE DUMP ft. cheesecake and the spouses

copious hazel headcanons under the cut because i can’t help myself

first off: her name is Hazel 👍🏻 ik that’s a common one but it’s literally perfect… canon info to me

her favorite thing to do, besides making experimental food, is actually exercising! she’s an incredibly skilled acrobat and stunt artist, so she needs to be fit for that, but she also just enjoys letting the excess energy out bc she gets really cranky otherwise. she’s toned af and could wipe the floor with you - she doesn’t go around picking fights for no good reason, but if she did… heehee

she has such an unending well of passion for all of her interests that some find her to be too much but she dgaf… she’s unabashedly autistic and does NOT care if you don’t want to hear her infodump about obscure cheeseslime genetics, she will do it anyways

i like to think that, although she is very bubbly, she has an insane morbid streak that catches people off guard. she loves talking about anatomy and gross-out subjects to anyone who can stomach it, and cracks the most fucked up jokes - it’s one of the reasons her and noise get along so well. she is thinking about blood and guts because she thinks it’s interesting!!!! she will give you hyperspecific graphic threats of violence if you make her mad!!! teehee!!

i would put her at like… chaotic neutral but leaning towards good. she has an almost scientific fascination with violence and seeing what kinds of stress a body can take, and doesn’t mind watching shit unfold instead of helping… unless something actually super fucked up is going on (like way past canon typical pizza tower violence), she’s not going to bat for you lol she’s gonna grab a camera and clipboard

her interest in anatomy branches out into a love for biology, medicine and health in general - as much as she loves watching her boyfriend beat the shit out of some chump on live tv, she also loves studying how different creatures work and how to treat injuries. she almost became a doctor! but she didn’t like the rigid schedule and pressure, so she fostered her interest in dance and gymnastics, and went into television as a stunt double instead. that’s actually how she met noise! that’s why they look so much alike - she was told to inquire NTV for a job because of the resemblance. noise thought she was so cool she was asked to be his co-star instead, and they’ve been inseparable ever since.

sometimes she gets tired of the noisette persona, but she does genuinely like theo, so it’s hard. she’s been more busy with this NTV gig (that’s looking more like a full blown career) than she would like, so that’s why she opened her cafe - to do something else for once dammit!! she likes weird shit, food included!!!

i have two shipping scenarios i like, so consider these parallel universes - hazel x vigi, and hazel x vigi x noise

if you don’t like negative takes on the noise relationship i’d recommend skipping to 2 ^_^

1. her relationship with noise deteriorates bc noise can’t accept the fact that hazel doesn’t wanna be noisette all the time! they’re so busy, he barely even makes time for her anymore - he barely even tolerates her! it’s not until vigi comes into the picture that she realizes she doesn’t have to deal w that mess. but it sucks cuz noise isn’t just her bf, but also like!!! a big part of her career!!! and she does genuinely love him but he’s just!!! an uncommunicative ass!!! it culminates in hazel leaving him and crashing at vigi’s farm because fuck it, it’s her life she does what she wants. she will kiss the cheese AND rebuild her tv career, on her own terms this time baybee

2. noise and hazel still have that issue but they actually communicate like adults and fix their relationship problems, so none of that shit happens! happy ending! hazel has her own life and theo actually lets his gf know he loves her! woah! enter vigi, in: “we saw you across the bar and we really dig your vibe…” imagining vigi as a third to hazel and theo, completely out of his depth but too bisexual to care, is SO funny to me lol… like hazel and him are probably the only two together at first but over time he and theo warm up to each other more (gay intent) and it’s perfect

[natureismynature]

Ok ok ok, I've been thinking about what the people on the screen have in common and the closest thing I can think of is that they all have "Jester" energy.

They're all hype men. They're all happy vibes. They're all friendly.

I remember that one qFoolish theory of him being the Federation "Happy Man". The guy who keeps the Islanders happy. Because that's what the Island is all about, right? A place where people SHOULD be happy. A place where people SHOULD enjoy their stay.

qEtoiles is always going around hyping other people up. "You're the best!" "You're amazing!" "You're so cool!"

qBaghera, as serious as she could get during certain moments, is very much chaotic in her joy as well. Her refusal to join the Theory Bros because it would upset Foolish, her constant messing around with the most miserabke man on the Island (Max), and her always keeping check with her friends.

qFelps just has to open his mouth, and Cellbit would be laughing his ass off. He is kind and funny and gets along with everyone.

qFoolish I feel like I don't even have to explain. He's always been there for everyone to cheer them up and make them laugh. That's always been his thing.

Even qQuackity ignited joy in the server. Not in the sense that the others do, but his presence was found enjoyable by the Islanders one way or another.

I don't know what this entails. But the fact that all these people are "Happy" in an island that strives to have people "enjoy" or whatever... it's something

[inkskinned]

i sat next to him, dipping chips into the bowl of salsa, thinking about how i couldn't have enjoyed this 5 years ago. something strange: recently it's been about chaos theory for me.

a butterfly makes a tornado. the infinitely small becomes the chaotic whole. the universe bends towards entropy, and yet, chaos theory seems to argue - small motions make big changes.

chip goes into salsa. i eat a little bit. later, the chip is energy. later, the energy is movement. later, the movement is a memory. later, the memory shapes who i am.

i used to pretend i had already eaten. i used to be 30 minutes late so i could say eat without me. i used to say i didn't like chips or salsa. i'd chug my water and pray nobody noticed i was still nibbling the same chip i'd first picked up. i missed a lot of hangouts because i didn't want to grab lunch. i would eat by myself, curled up in the parking lot of a supermarket. hurried, anxious, embarrassed to be overcome.

5 years ago, i started saying yes to one more chip. 4 years ago, i could munch my way casually through a couple dozen. these days i am the one saying - can we have more chips when you get a second?

it didn't start with big changes. i thought it would have to - something was massively wrong with me, so i assumed recovery would take a natural disaster. the only way to fight fire was with an explosion. i would buy organizational journals, angrily clean my house for 10 hours straight, promise myself never again and know - i'd always slip backwards. i'm always going to be this way.

it wasn't big, though. 5 years ago i made a promise to stop it with the i'm going to kill myself jokes. for the sake of additional challenge, i also stopped saying i'm stupid. just two things.

i'm genuinely funnier these days. people laugh more with me. i find more things funny. when i mess up, it doesn't crush me. suicide no longer sits at the front of my brain. it is no longer the first option i picture. i forgive myself so easily. i no longer believe every mistake is emblematic of my personality. i have actually started to believe i am clever and smart - although i still want to add the prefix barely.

i still apologize too much. i still beat myself up. i still agonize over certain choices. i know i am not perfect. recovery is not linear.

but the joy in me is bigger. every time i choose to believe in it, every time i choose to make a little change towards hope - that joy in me grows.

when entropy rises up in my heart and i backslide and everything goes dark: the joy doesn't fully evaporate anymore. i slide just a little less. i bounce back just a little more. i go further this time. learn about myself. crawl up that slope with new skills in tow. i know what i'm doing these days; am getting good at finding handholds. i have started to learn how to catch myself while falling - instead of letting myself go.

a little change. ten years ago i googled depression self-help tips. little butterfly keystrokes. in the moment, nothing really happened.

ten years in the future: my life is full of love and healthy coping mechanisms. i have minimized a great deal of my symptoms. i spend a lot of my time laughing and creating and going out with friends. every time i hit a wall, i convince myself to get up, keep going, if it's hard just be harder, choose hope, choose just a little bit further -

i want to tell that version of myself, stranded in the desert: if you keep walking, all that sand will one day be water.

[wordbunch]

SFW Alphabet: Pippin

a/n: whichever big brain anon requested this was absolutely right to do so! he is BABEY and this blog is gradually turning into a Pippin stan account? ALSO I've changed up the template for the alphabet a little bit, so you will see some new categories, yayy <3 i hope you enjoy, please be so kind to reblog and i'm looking forward to any comments <3

A = AFFECTION (how affectionate are they and how do they show affection?) He is literally if affection was a person and he isn't particularly concerned with the notion of personal space. He will show you affection in any and every way possible – endless hugs, always being physically close, giving you little gifts, and most importantly making you laugh as much as he can on the daily basis.

B = BEST FRIEND (what would they be like as a best friend and how would the friendship start?) Very loyal, and of course chaotic and fun, always with some crazy ideas. There is never a dull moment, he likes to just randomly drop by and go on a little adventure with you. However, sometimes you need to be the person who balances out his craziness and energy, so that you don't end up getting into too much trouble.

C = CUDDLES (do they like to cuddle & how?) He absolutely LOVES to cuddle, and he would never stop if he didn't have to. There is no particular favorite cuddling position – they're all equally valid because he gets to hold and be held by his favorite person in the whole world. Some days he will wrap around you as much as possible, other days he wants to be the little spoon, it constantly varies.

D = DOMESTIC (do they want to settle down; how are they at cooking/cleaning?) Quite frankly, he didn't think about any of that before you – he is fairly young after all – but the second he fell in love with you (and you reciprocated it) he was like THIS is what I want for the rest of time!!! He can be a specifically organized mess, but he is very enthusiastic about helping you and learning how to do things around the house, it's really sweet.

E = ENCHANTED (what was their first opinion/feeling about you when you just met?) He was amazed and sort of fascinated by you. It wasn't love at first sight at all, it was just some kind of instant fascination and he knew he wanted to befriend you and get to know you immediately. Very soon, however, he would start feeling a bit too giddy if he ran into you somewhere, and mention you a bit too often to his friends.

F = FIANCE(E) (how do they feel about commitment; how quickly would they want to get married?) Once he is in love with you, he is all yours, with literally no interest in anyone else. Your relationship is basically best friends in love, so he doesn't feel limited in doing anything fun – you will probably just join in anyway. It would be pretty much the same if you got married, and it means having sleepovers with your best friend every single night! So he's totally on board with that, whenever you're up for it. Maybe really fast, actually. Impulse control who?

G = GENTLE (how gentle are they, physically and emotionally?) He is a BABY. Okay yes, he can be a little shit too, but first and foremost he is a baby. He takes too many things to heart and then overthinks them; and while he can admittedly be a little bit impulsive and rash in some decisions, he would never ever act harshly towards you in any way. He literally showers you with love constantly, it's just who he is.

H = HUGS (do they like hugs, how often, what are they like?) Loves loves loves hugs, and your hugs feel like the safest, warmest place in the world. Loves giving and receiving surprise hugs from behind, quick hugs in passing, long hugs to forget about any problems… Depending on the height difference, he'd be a big fan of giving you a side hug and then walking like that – holding hands is just too basic sometimes.

I = I LOVE YOU (how fast they say the L-word) Really quickly and maybe on accident, because he can talk a lot, and it wouldn't be the first time he spoke without thinking. When his own words reach his brain, his facial expression is absolutely priceless, all wide eyes and blushing cheeks.

J = JEALOUSY (how jealous do they get and how they act then) It's extremely rare that he gets jealous, he trusts you with his life and more. If he sees someone getting a little too friendly with you, his first thought would be something among the lines of 'oh nice, they're making new friends!' but if it goes on a little too long, he will feel a bit insecure rather than jealous, and go sulk in a corner somewhere until you find him; you thought it was worrisome how suddenly you couldn't hear him talking someone's ears of or singing on a table. Just go and find him and remind him that he is your favorite person and you would never ditch him for someone else, and the cheerful mood will return.

K = KISSES (what are their kisses like, where do they like to kiss you/be kissed?) Chaotic and cute and plenty! Like previously established, he is the biggest fan of physical affection, but sometimes he still hesitates a little bit when it comes to kissing you in public. Over time he gets more confident about it, and he will just dot a bunch of kisses all over your face until you're a giggling mess. If you kiss him on the forehead or the top of his head, he will melt into a puddle of love because it makes him feel like you're proud to have him.

L = LOVE LANGUAGE (what is their love language and how they show you love) I think his main two love languages, out of the five, would be physical affection and gift giving; but not any necessarily fancy gifts: more like a pretty flower he saw by the road and thought you would appreciate, or a silly little written poem. I know it's not among the five love languages, but MAKING YOU LAUGH is his absolute favorite thing to do, and you have more inside jokes than you can count.

M = MORNINGS (how are mornings spent with them) He loves to sleep in if he can, but once he's awake, he's awake, even if somehow he woke up at 5 am. You always wake up in a tangled mess of limbs and blankets, and in the mornings is when he is quietest, until you start making breakfast together and wake up half the neighborhood with singing, laughing, doing silly voices or accidentally dropping things.

N = NICKNAMES (do they like to use cute nicknames for you/you for them?) He will use every possible existent nickname, and he is partial to coming up with silly ones, just for you. He will most definitely blush if you give him one, it makes him feel super special.

O = OPEN (when would they start revealing things about themselves; everything at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?) He is talkative and trusting, so a lot of things might come out accidentally; and besides, he is quite easy to read anyway. However, when it comes to more emotional matters, or something serious that is bothering him, he might act a little more closed off. All you need to do is remind him once that you'll listen and try to help, no matter what it is, for him to tell you almost everything.

P = PATIENCE (how easily angered are they?) Literally never?? You've never met anyone so chill with the most 'it is what it is' attitude. The only exception is if someone else is in any way rude or threatening to you, then he won't hesitate to give them a piece of his mind.

Q = QUIZZES (how much would they remember about you – every little detail you mention in passing or do they kind of forget most things?) It's very arbitrary, sometimes he will remember something very small and almost insignificant, but forget something more important, or the other way round. He certainly doesn't remember everything, but that's not to say he doesn't try. And it's really okay if he needs you to remind him of something every now and then.

R = REMEMBER (favorite moment in your relationship) The first time when you two spent his birthday together – you actually threw him a surprise party with the biggest homemade cake, a bunch of little presents, and of course, fireworks! There was music and delicious food, and all his friends, and you – it was one of his favorite days of all time, and it spoke volumes on how you felt about him and the things that you'd do.

S = SECURITY (how protective are they; how they'd like to be protected and how they protect you) It's a mixed bag – he is often scared of something happening to you, but also he knows you're perfectly capable of defending yourself and he likes to watch you being all tough and independent. Maybe just for the sake of his confidence, sometimes let him step in and be a little protective, it's cute. If you stand up for him when he is being criticized, he will blush profusely, and give you a shy 'thanks', but he will keep thinking about it for a while.

T = TRY (how much effort do they put into dates, gifts, anniversaries, everyday stuff) He thinks you're too special and too wonderful not to be treated accordingly, and he will try to show you that through a bunch of little things. He loves to surprise you in small ways on at least a weekly basis, but for your birthday or anniversary or something „bigger“ like that, a huge bouquet of flowers is a must (seriously, it's so big that he barely carries it without stumbling), and he will try to make your favorite dessert for you too.

U = UGLY (some bad habits of theirs) Sometimes he unnecessarily doubts himself and even questions whether he is good enough for you, but luckily you can tell when he's overthinking those things almost immediately, and then you reassure him in more ways than one.

V = VACATION (how you spend lazy days and free time) The two of you always get up to something and it’s not that common that you’re just lying around, but in case you are, it’s most likely somewhere outside under the shade of a beautiful tree, catching some sun, talking each other’s ears off and sharing some delicious snacks!!!

W = WISH (something that they really want to do/experience with you?) He wants to do every single thing imaginable with you, because you make everything better and more enjoyable just by being there – the bucket list is endless!

X = XTRA (a random headcanon for them) He is organized but in a chaotic way: while his things might sometimes look like a mess, he always knows where everything is. And he really loves taking baths with obligatory singing.

Y = YUCK (what are some things they dislike generally or in a partner?) People who are mean and/or negative, because he is the exact opposite of those things, always tries to be nice to everyone and look for something positive in every situation.

Z = ZZZ (a sleep habit of theirs) For somebody that small, he takes up an astonishing amount of space in a bed – you have no idea how someone can be so sprawled, yet sleep without a care in the world.

-

taglist my beloved @starlady66 @queenmeriadoc @entishramblings @founder-of-imladris @silversword7000 @friendofthefellowshipsnerdblog @averys-placee @valkyriepirate @emmaarenstarr @noldorin-painter @asianbutnotjapanese @adamgetawaydriver @fenharel-enaste @ironmandeficiency @starryeyedrogue @dinofromspac3 @wisheduponastar @lady-of-imladris @frodo-cinnamonroll @unethicallypleistocene @deadlymistletoe @suncran @high-sea-husbands @asianbutnoteastasian @aidansloth @moth-makay

@bubbleyukismile @kitexvi @herstudios

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

REWATCHING GO S1, LIVE PLAY-BY-PLAY OF DOOMSDAY WAHOO

HELLO MAGGOTS REWATCHING SEASON 1 BECAUSE THE FIRST TIME WAS A KIDNAPPING CHAOTIC MESS. EPISODE ONE HERE GOES. I DON'T REMEMBER A LOT OF DETAILS BUT YES.

Opening scene and Earth's got vibe-checked by God and I've been gaslit about the dinosaurs

GARDEN OF EDEEEEEN wow his first appearance and Aziraphale's already so prissy and flustered might fuck around and fall in love with him idk

I finally understand who these mf's are hi Hastur and Ligur you're not zombies after all

FOR FUCK'S SAKE SECOND SCENE CROWLEY'S BEEN IN AND SHE WALKED IN, SERVED HIPS HAIR AND CUNT, AND THEN MANAGED TO TALK HER AWAY INTO A PROBLEM

LIKE GENUINELY SHE COMES AND SASHAYS WITH HER HAIR AND SAYS TIMES ARE CHANGING AND HEAD OFFICE LOVES ME AND JUST INSTANTLY HASTUR AND LIGUR USE HER WORDS AGAINST HER

idk sister mary loquacious is kinda doing it for me rn with that satanic nun's habit and losergirl energy

third crowley scene and he's misplaced THE LITERALLY GODDAMNED ANTICHRIST because he made small talk with a bloke outside without checking for details

mmmmhm yes sister mary wink again your bitchless decisions are sexy y'know what i mean

Gabriel feels like his brain was eviscerated and replaced with one of those youtuber's paid course promos at the end of their how to change your life in 45 days: three simple mindset shifts video

so THIS IS WHY EVERYONE KEEPS SAYING PAVLOVIAN IN THIS FANDOM IT'S BECAUSE OF DUCKS of course it's because of ducks

mmmhm yes sure crepes French revolu--Crowley stop eye-fucking Aziraphale you're making everyone at the Ritz horny

Aziraphale don't moan into your food man you can't take these two anywhere

Crowley thanking the driver for slowing down is everything to me

And they're drunk hu-fucking-zzah good thing we'll have 11 year olds saving the world coz these fuckers sure ain't doing shit

OH MY GOD HE WAS TRYING TO SAY BOUILLABAISSE I JUST REALISED. I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST MAKING KISSY FACES AT AZIRAPHALE I'M NOT OK-

What Aziraphale was doing back was definitely kissy faces though that mfer wasn't even trying to say bouillabaisse when Crowley said what sounded suspiciously like baby

kissy kissy from lil miss prissy [i would have made such a great high school bully shame i had no inclinations that way]

SORRY WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK WAS THAT SOBERING UP EXCUSE ME THE FANFICS MADE IT SOUND LIKE IT WAS A CLICK AND THEY'RE SUDDENLY NORMAL WHY IS THE ALCOHOL REFILLING

oop nun down nun down

i want ya see a wile ya thwart amirite on a t-shirt

"actually i encourage humans to-" just say you're a lazy bitch azi we love you

love crowley fake-manipulating azi into helping like azi wants to be manipulated y'know so it's not technically his fault he was wiled over or whatever and they're both just such ENABLERS

not azi going SOFT at being godfathers with crowley

NOT BROTHER FRANCIS PLEASE NO FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SACRED AZI WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS PLEASE

WARLOCKKKKK I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

HNNNG MICHAEL SHEEN HAD TOO MUCH FUN WITH THIS

why is nanny ashtoreth so seductive with that of course dear is it just crowley's inherent disastergirl sex appeal

HALF PONYTAIL CROWLEY I AM A FUCKING SLUT FOR HALF PONYTAIL

GASLIGHTING HEAVEN AND HELL THAT'S MY BABYGIRLS

erIC THE DISPOSABLE DEMON I DIDN'T KNOW THEY COME IN S1 well not come i hope unless being eaten by a hellho--nope

ANGEL CROWLEY SAID ANGEL ANGEL ANGEL

CROWLEY TRYING TO BE SUBTLE ABOUT KILLING BEFORE GETTING ANNOYED

waiter crOWLEY OUTFIT I CANNOT BE NORMAL AFTER THE WEDDING DRESS DESIGNING ABOUT THIS COSTUME

FOOLS WRONG BOY YOU FOOLS IM DEAD

DOG IS UNIRONICALLY SO CUTE EVEN BEFORE IT GOES SMOL

gonna give my roxie a kissy brb she's my angel and all this dog talk makes me miss her (she's a few feet away under the bed)

i asked her for a kissy and she crawled out and gave me a kiss i love her

DOGGGGG ADAMMM

...roxie's crying to be taken downstairs it's nearly 2 am this is on me for waking her up i crowley'd myself fml

EYYYYY WELCOME TO THE END TIMES don't mind me I'll have to take roxie down yes I know maggots I'm crowley-coded I KNOW THAT I'M A BLOODY DISASTER BYEEEEEEEE

[littlemessyjessi]

“Couple of Chaos” : A Kim Namjoon/RM Commissioned Request: Plus Size Reader, Messy Reader

Kim Namjoon x Reader, Plus Size Reader, Messy Reader, Established Relationship

.

.

Prompt: Namjoonie and his partner who is just as much of a mess as him. A darling. A lovely person. Love of his life. But just as much of a chaotic mess as he is, lol.

. 

“Life is the messy bits.” - Lisa Friedman

. 

Headcanons:  How Namjoon and Reader deal with the both of them being messy as hell. 

First and freaking foremost, you’re both disasters

just full on

You’re both equally chaotic

one as bad as the other

and yet ya’ll will get on each other’s nerves so bad with messes

like…. ya’ll both do it and yet when it’s the other person it’s somehow terrible

hypocrites, the both of yuns

that being said, in a way, ya’ll kinda complete each other

Namjoon is a perpetual passport loser right? 

And I’ve lost count of how many times he’s lost his air pods

Well, cue…. you

His personal storage locker… or purse.  Whichever you want to refer to it

If you carry a purse, just snatch his shit from him and keep up with it so this man can actually board a plane

If you don’t carry a purse but wear a bra, stick it in the boulder holder

If you don’t do either, put it in your pocket for him

If you don’t have pockets then you have bigger problems to worry about that Namjoon-ah and his lack of ability to keep up with his shit

Now, assuming that you do have these things, you do this so often that Namjoon just knows you have them. 

Needs chapstick? If you’re in a relatively private company, he just goes into your pocketeses for it

Passport? Ok, so Namjoon is smart as fuck. We get it.  However, he do be having some primo himbo energy at times.  

Picture this: Airport.  Namjoonie lost passport.  “Oh, wait a second.  I know where it is!”  Just turns and sticks his hand in your bra and deep sea dives in the titties until he has found what he’s looking for. Assuming that you have titties. If you don't, well again- homeboy is just deep sea diving in whatever area you're currently keeping his belongings.

meanwhile, the eyes of everyone around him have been scarred and you’ve just been violated in front of the entire airport 

he realizes this in about 3 seconds and all he can do is give you that cute dimpled smile

of course he’s forgiven.  It’s Joonie.  If you don’t forgive him then I’ll be along directly to deliver an ass whoopin'. Let's not play with sweet Namu's precious feelings. He's an angel and a perfectly wonderful person. Fuck with him and you fuck with me. And I have raged stored from the age of three. I am now in my 30s. I have it and I will use it.

so yeah

and going back to ya’ll getting on each other’s nerves

doom piles

There.  I said it.   

Ya’ll both got doom piles and junk drawers and whole ass closets just full of random crap

and you nearly kill each other over it on a regular basis

“Jagiyaaaaaaaaaaa! Come on! There is a full on mountain of stuff here and you can’t even close this drawer.”  

“Namjoon, would you like to discuss the entire guest bedroom full of figurines? Or perhaps, the closet full of books?  Or maybe, just maybe, you would like to explain to me why there is an drawer in our bedroom full of baby things when neither one of us has any plans of having children anytime soon?” 

“....” *Joon bites lip and narrows eyes

“....” *you lift a brow*

“Alright, jagi. My mistake. You hungry?” 

“Yes, I’m starving.” 

“Wonderful.” he smirks.  “Where would you like to eat?” 

Your head slowly turns around. 

You narrow your eyes at his smug ass face. 

“How fucking dare you, Kim Namjoon?” 

And he has the audacity to smirk at you because he knows he bested you cause you can’t decided where to eat to save your life.

Jokes on him though because you just needed a project.  It was sorting through your doom piles but now that he’s pissed you off it quickly changed to annoying the ever living hell out of him. 

Lowkey though, jokes actually on you because Joon loves it when your fiesty and sometimes purposefully does this shit just to rile you up. 

You also know this about him though.  Which is why you left the junk drawer open and also why you got sassy.   

He likes that you’re a mess and you love that about him too.

. 

. 

"This is the stuff that drives me crazy This is the stuff that's getting to me lately In the middle of my little mess I forget how big I'm blessed"

- This is the Stuff, Francesca Battistelli

. 

Members Reaction to the Deities of Destruction and Disaster: 

Seokjin:  (A/N: omfg Seokjin you did not have to be so aggressively attractive. And that goes for you too, Namjoon)

Long suffering sigh.  The hyung energy is strong here.   It’s part frustration and part pure bewilderment as to why, how and what even is he going to do with the both of you.  That being said, Seokjinnie thinks the two of you are super cute together.  You definitely get scolded but also, he cracks easily because come on.  Look at ya’ll.  Thanks God every day that Namjoon uses you as his purse though.  He is so tired of standing around in an airport, lol. 

Yoongi:  (A/N: Cue the dreamy sigh. Just look at them. Look at the smiles. Look at the damn ARMS!)

I’m gonna be so for real with you right now.  He does not give a shit about the mess. I mean, don’t get his things in a mess but if you roll up in a 2003 lifted Tacoma, open the door and a bunch of shit falls out… I mean, maybe he might give you a little bit of a lecture but honestly?  That’s ya’ll’s problem, lol.   But also stop losing ya’ll fucking airpods, the both of you.   If a bra works then do that because he will not be loaning you another pair ever again.  And he refuses to talk about why. 

Hoseok: (A/N: Mother of God. I have the fattest crush on Hoseok. Also peep that cute little Kookie. And how DARE you attack me like this, Namjoon?!)

Never in the history of ever was anyone annoyed more by this than Hoseok, lol.  However, he doesn’t bitch.  Oddly enough, he never complains about it.  He never bitches.  He never lectures.  He does, however, come over to hang out and help the both of you clean your mess.  Hoseok is great for body doubling if you have ADHD.  However, if you have an issue with him doing the cleaning it might be an issue.  It makes him itch and he needs to scratch it.   

Jimin:  (A/N: It's unspeakable how much handsomeness is in this gif.)

An actual ANGEL for body doubling if you have ADHD and you’re trying to handle the depression hoarder situation in your bedroom.  Super respectful and understanding.  He just enjoys spending time with his loved ones so he would gladly come help if you want it or just keep the both of you company.  Because clearly body doubling does not with you and Joon together. You just make it a bigger mess.  Acknowledging this: Jimin finds this chaos hilarious and doesn’t do anything to stop.  Ya’ll are wild and unkempt and honestly? Jiminie is here for it. 

Side note: I am particularly attached to Jimin in this gif. Look how beautiful. Look how handsome. I swear, that man is dangerous. We are all very, very, very lucky that he's such a sweetheart because don't act like if he asked you for a kidney that you wouldn't immediately start looking for something to carve with . And if that happened to be a spoon, we'd all just accept our fate. Don't lie.

Extra Sidenote: Namjoon be looking extra delectable. *chef's kiss*

Taehyung:  (A/N: First of all, damn Namjoon. Those arms. Sweet lord. I'm looking, Joonie. Respectfully, of course..... but I do be lookin. Second, does Taehyung not look like the most precious creature in all the land?)

A precious darling. He does not give a shit about the mess.  He just loves his hyung.  He loves his hyung’s love.  Ya’ll are special to him and that’s how you are.  He thinks it is part of ya’ll’s charm and your charm as a couple.  Ya’ll are a messy couple but not in the having your dirty laundry out for everyone to see way. In a “aw, Jiminie, look at them.  They are such tragic disasters but they’re disasters together.” kind of way.  He will find a way to make it romantic no matter what. 

Jungkook:  (A/N: Just Jungkook out here living his best y/n life, honestly, lol. )

Ok, so here’s the thing, lol.  Jungkookie has had his own issues with messes here and there. Also, let's be honest.... he's got the fattest crush on Namjoon, lol. His crush on Namjoon may even rival the crush I have on Hoseok. Like, I kinda doubt it because there ain't much I wouldn't do for that man but still. Jungkook loves him's Namjoonie. He loves all that Namjoon-ah is associated with. He's his biggest fan, lol. With you, it is honestly the same. Like... his hyung is in love? Who is this person that has captured the heart of the most magnificent Namjoonie? If you managed to do that and Namjoon is happy.... honestly Jungkook adores you. Regardless of the hopeless fucking messes that the both of you clearly are. He and Taehyung share this but in addition to this, Jungkookie will literally help you with anything you need. He just wants to hang out with you both so he'll do like his Jimin hyung and either just chill while you sort or he'll help you. Or just hang out in the chaos and not solve anything, lol. He just loves his hyung and he loves his hyung's love as well. It's as simple as that.

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A/N: Thank you so much for reading my content and thank you so much to @alisoncdariel for commissioning this piece! I hope you enjoy it!

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