#because they are an *asshole* (affectionate)

[chiyana]

this is the stupidest crossover possible but I want Tim to make House his doctor

yes that House

why? He needs someone who is very good, will not give up or send Tim out to a different specialist just because his medical condition is difficult, will not be overly concerned about the danger Tim puts himself in, and will lie on Tim's medical records AND to Batman/Bruce Wayne/all of the Bats without hesitation or fear.

House is and will do all of those things without hesitation. He has no shame, no boundaries, he WILL get into a public fight with Bruce Wayne if it means keeping that man out of his patient's (and House's) business. He will help Tim lie to and gaslight the rest of his family without hesitation.

in exchange, Tim is his favorite patient. Not because they get along, necessarily, Tim is a know-it-all little shit and they constantly bicker and House hates how practically every facet of Tim's existence is a lie (and Tim thinks House is a smug know-it-all jackass who is needlessly cruel and callous bc he thinks the world owes him and never delivers just bc he's in pain, news flash a lot of people are in pain and manage not to be assholes) BUT, 1, Tim brings him really interesting cases and problems, and 2, Tim NEVER lies to House about his medical conditions or what he was doing when they happened.

He lies about literally almost everything else under the sun TO everyone else, but he is 100% completely upfront and honest about his medical history and what is going on with him with House.

admittedly it takes a while for House to realize Tim ISN'T lying to him because some of the shit he says is completely insane ("the vigilante thing is pretty obvious but what do you MEAN you got the Apocalypse virus TWICE, AND SURVIVED, AS A FOURTEEN-FIFTEEN YEAR OLD")

but once he realizes Tim doesn't ever lie to him, he becomes House's favorite patient because at least TIM gives him all of the data he needs as best he's able the moment he asks. At least House doesn't have to waste his time following up on bogus information or figuring out the truth, he can just get right into the meat of the medical issue at hand.

also it's so fun to lie directly to Batman's face, know the man knows, and know he can't do anything about it

[oyeixcher]

San ✦ [Special Clip] ‘아이유 - 이름에게’

[rainedropsart]

something something, side effects of superpowers

bonus doodle

[starry-bi-sky]

12AM late night danyal al ghul propaganda to consider (that is funny to me): this little brat being meaAN. nice twin danyal al ghul: great, fun, we love opposite twins. wonder where he's learning that kindness from, but it's a good dichotomy! but also mean danny fenton. this little shit can make an adult CRY. he is on par with Damian for most venomous barbs. he is a smarmy little motherfucker. he's nice to his people and HIS people only. everyone else can screw off for all he cares - he's gotta learn to care about other people. his canon sarcasm and wit goes from level 2 to level 10. he is a sarcastic, smarmy, witty little asshole and i could go on but the idea of danny fenton being a mean little menace to people is very very fun and amusing to me

[towards-toramunda]

Ashton “I will crush fate under my boot” Greymoore after feeling that he and Fearne were both fated to find the shard together and seeing everyone assume that Fearne taking the other shard means they’ll be in a relationship now would absolutely pull the “sister” card thats so true to character for them idk why people are shocked by this

[asmo-cosmetics]

so far the thing i like best about nu: carnival is that eiden is genuinely lovely and i completely understand why all these dudes are just dropping everything to follow him around

[haltraveler]

Daemon: I get it now, Rhaenyra is the chosen one and these visions are giving me true purpose.

Bloodraven, who's playing a game of time traveling 4 dimensional chess and gaslighting his great grandpa so that in 60 or so years the butterfly effect will make Bittersteel's life slightly worse:

[clegfly]

“Of course you have an Other Brother,” he says, waving off her denial as he opens some nearby cabinets. “Who else would I be if I wasn’t?”

Small WIP sketch of the Other Brother from IDKSomethingClever99’s fic “Mari in the Pink Palace”!!! OMORI and Coraline are my two biggest interests ever so this fic was like winning the lottery for me. Not to mention how good it is… please go read it ragh

[sammygender]

i firmly believe that if you write dean in your fanfiction you have to make him just the tiniest bit awful always. thats not dean otherwise. of course this goes for in canon but precanon too. i always need some thought or some bitchy little line where hes like flagrantly disregarding sam's desire for autonomy or to be treated like an actual human person. thats not dean otherwise <3 and i love him to pieces

[nancywheeeler]

arthur / guenevere is compelling because it brings that arranged marriage flavor of "do i love you out of duty or of my own free will?" guenevere / lancelot is compelling because giving into their attraction not only betrays a man they both love, but inherently taints the chivalrous and dutiful qualities they love in one another. arthur / lancelot is compelling because nothing fucks harder than "i pledge my life to you." and arthur / guenevere / lancelot is compelling because it wouldn't change the ending.

[androgynouspenguinexpert]

HE CAN DO BOTH

[chococookiez]

fuck it, posting this to main

mini sebastian solace rock/metal playlist we're throwing out in public because we have a very specific brand of autism that influences absolutely fucking everything we do

[quiet-longing]

because sometimes louis (and vampires) deserves nice things

Or: no, they really don't, but I'm giving it to them, anyway because it amuses me.

Iwtv is a painful fandom to be a part of, especially if you know what's coming and I think most people know, readers or not. The books have been out for years. There was a movie. The internet exists. What I'm saying is anyone coming into this fandom is probably someone who, by general cultural osmosis, knows what's up. Nobody's coming in blind. So, we all, to varying degrees, know how much it's gonna hurt us.

So after I brood about it (like the good Louis fan i am), I like to imagine a softer world for the characters. A world that's filled with small dramas instead of big ones and imagine them still being their ridiculous selves.

Now, think of this introduction to my soft vampire daydreams as a warm bath...

The premise is superficially the same minus the murdering and vampirism and it's a modern day human AU, so this Claudia has two dads and not a dad and an uncle and more importantly (not to Louis and Lestat; they would like their young, sweet daughter back; not this shrieking changeling who's replaced her), she gets to grow up. She's adopted (legally and everything!) because Tragic Circumstances (not caused by Louis this time). Now, I thought Bailey played Claudia a lot younger than 14 in the beginning and I really enjoyed it. Claudia almost certainly didn't get a childhood, so when Louis and Lestat vamped her, she did, and I take my characterization from that because this is supposed to be fun.

Anyway, they adopt Claudia at younger than 14 - young enough that she's still asking "is that my fountain?" "is that my house" "are we a family?" and she is exactly as spoiled as she is in the show. Whatever she wants, she gets. Louis and Lestat dote on her. Lestat especially, spoils her. They have a special bond (I've yet to figure out about what yet; not the stage, that comes later and Claudia is sooooo mad about it). She has special bonds with both of her dads, but in her early childhood, she's especially close with Lestat because they're so similar. When she hits her tweens and teens, that's when she gets closer to Louis because "the NOISE, the DRAMA, he's so STUPID! he doesn't understand ANYTHING" and "noise! Noise is this torment that you pretend is music! I taught you better! She knows, Louis! She knows what music is; she only does this to HURT ME!, 'DRAMA?! DRAMA?! shouting in French', 'I AM AN ADULT; I UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING AND IT IS YOU WHO IS STUPID, UNGRATEFUL BRAT!' followed by the very loud, very identical sounds of inarticulate rage, a chorused 'I HATE YOU' and the slamming of two doors in unison.

Lestat would absolutely argue like this with his teenage daughter. He would absolutely be the parent says 'your face is stupid!' to his kid, throw the exact same tantrum while his husband watches serenely 'LOUIS, MON CHER, HOW CAN YOU TAKE HER SIDE?!!!!!!! DO YOU NO LONGER LOVE ME?????' Meanwhile, Louis has said nothing as he listened to the two of them present their case to him as if he's some kind of judge. As if he wasn't just sitting here all cozy, reading his book when these two loud brats stomped (loudly) into the living room and stood in front of him, taking turns (loudly) hurling insults at each other while throwing their arms out as if they're presenting one another to Louis and then looking at Louis as if to say 'can you BeLieVE what i have to put up with? Louis does believe it. Louis absolutely believes because Louis is currently putting up with it times two every day of his life. He is seriously reconsidering Lestat's offer to nominate him for sainthood and present his case to The Church. St. Louis of New Orleans. It has as ring to it. Louis is not serene. He only looks serene because he is imagining his own softer world where his husband and daughter had quiet fights, upstairs, away from him, while he got to finish a book (one! single! book!) without interruption. And now that they've both stormed off without waiting him to render a verdict (he has yet to do this; he is mildly disappointed because he kind of wants to do that thing Armand showed him on the Ipad that time - hold up a picture of each one of them and tell them it's the same picture. He'd been a little confused by it at first and then Armand have given him a long lecture on memes on and Internet Culture before Daniel (Old Maniel, my beloved! I don't care; this is my new favorite iteration of devil's minion and you can pry it from my cold, dead hands) cut in: "Armand, I think he's got it. I had to explain memes to him. He had a lot of questions and I did a lot of research. Sorry, Louis." Louis, had in fact gotten it, gotten it quite a while ago. He'd pretty much gotten it as soon as Armand had pulled up a picture of the meme that wasn't two obscure Renaissance paintings.

He's not as technologically inept as everyone seems to think he is. Lestat is obsessed with social media. Louis helps him photographs his "thirst traps." (I imagine that's how Louis imagines the word thirst traps in his head.) Which reminds him. He's pretty sure he's due for that meltdown soon enough. It's getting harder to bribe Claudia's friends not to show her her dad's Insta. Louis does, in fact call it Insta. Occasionally 'the 'Gram' when he wants to be silly. Because Lestat. And because he's bribing his daughter's friends to steer away her away from the small empire Lestat has built across various social media websites.

Lestat's been a very benevolent ruler; he loves engaging with his subjects. Louis wishes he would engage a little less because he is very concerned that the one video of Lestat doing the Britney Spears knife dance in his underwear) is going to go viral. Right now, the good citizens of Lestat's fiefdom are hoarding it to themselves, making it their new 'iykyk' wink-wink nudge-nudge. And it was one of the paid streams, but still. Of course it was going to get out. He's just glad the public Lestat subreddit has banned posting it and is being strict about taking it down every time it goes up. (Louis is bizarrely familiar with certain corners of the internet, but he doesn't even know the nyan cat meme. Old? Yes. But standard curriculum for anyone who knows memes. Which Louis does not. The only memes he knows are Lestat memes and they all originated with Lestat. He doesn't even know they're called memes. He just thinks of them as funny edits pointing out Lestat being ridiculous. He can't believe Lestat likes them as much as he does, frankly. I love Louis.)

So, yes. That's another thing St. Louis of New Orleans has on his plate. His daughter's inevitable discovery of her father's social media following and that the real reason all her friends always want to hang out at her house is because they think her dad is hot, not because they're rich (well, they are and that is part of it, but mostly it's because they want to ogle Lestat. They think they're being subtle. They are not. Claudia, so far, has assumed it's because they share the same opinion of her father as she does: that he's a ridiculous idiot and that they're laughing at him, not giggling about Lestat 'just breathed omg!' like the 14 year-olds they are.)

Le sigh. This post was supposed to be about Claudia and her Regina George era and Lestat and Louis getting called to the principal's office and listening to a list of her crimes and making Very Serious faces at her and getting to the car and Louis starting to lecture and Lestat asking why she wasted her time on this instead of taking down the other Ultimate Mean Girl that just moved here who's trying to challenge Claudia's status as the Prettiest and Most Perfect Princess That Ever Walked This Earth Everyone Loves Her Just What Are You Insinuating About My Daughter [insert French insult] (did I already say Lestat is French in every universe? well, if i didn't, he is, and if i did, now you're really certain.)

Anyway, enjoy my crack thoughts about everyone's favorite vampire family.

[no-1-rosalind-lang-apologist]

"Orion has an arrogant playboy demeanor."

NO HE DOESN'T??? WHEN?? TELL ME. GIVE ME A PAGE NUMBER.

[randomtheidiot]

You know, I’ve been mulling it over, and most “woke-ified” redesigns of popular characters could actually be good as an AU if you think about how X character would be affected by being in Y group, as well as the effects on the story they’re in. So long as you’re not claiming to “fix” the character, it’s harmless fun and it’s a neat thought experiment. People are just too easily offended these days.

[fleetsonourgecentral]

I suddenly remember That you never told us how a meeting between Prime/Archie! Sonic and Fleetway (Amnesiac/Good) Super Sonic would go.

Also I want to read Fleetway Sonic and scourge reactions if They somehow end Up dating (I like Fleetonic and I need something to draw lol)

I imagine any meeting between Prime and Super would likely come after Prime has already had the misfortune of meeting Sonic, and subsequently had at least one (1) argument about Super. If the argument hasn't already happened by the time Prime and Super meet, it's definitely imminent. I imagine Prime would be a lot more forgiving of Super than Sonic is (partly because he just doesn't have the same baggage Sonic does and partly because he's just overall less of a dick) so he'd be sympathetic to his plight. He'd be much quicker to believe Super when he says he doesn't want to be that evil person who hurts and kills people for fun. Sonic would scoff and call him a trusting idiot, but it's not that Prime is oblivious to or ignoring the danger that Super can cause, he just doesn't believe dogpiling the guy about it will actually help his situation

Sonic's reaction to finding out they're dating would just be more "I think you're fucking stupid" or, depending on how not-awful his relationship with Super is, just a quiet scoff. He probably tells Prime that if he's soooo fond of Super, then he can take Super with him back to his dimension, but he's probably also secretly worried about Prime actually following through, because if anything goes wrong, Sonic isn't there to help stop it. Chaos energy in the fleetway dimension is fucky and corrupted; for all his bitching and "don't come crying to me if he tries to kill all your friends", Sonic doesn't actually want another universe to suffer from that corrupted energy. He definitely doesn't want the chaos energy in the prime zone to become corrupted the same way his was, either

I can't imagine Scourge has much emotional attachment to Super to care too much. Like, he sees a part of himself in Super, specifically in how both of their identities used to be tied to Sonic, but he doesn't like that he can relate to Super. He doesn't hate or dislike him, but he definitely doesn't like him, either. He just often ends up being the one Ebony calls for out of everyone else in the freedom fighters because he's the one with the least amount of history with Super, so Super doesn't put him on edge the same way he does everyone else. So if Super started dating Prime, he'd probably just make some snarky comment about weak-hearted goody-two-shoes flocking together

Ultimately, the two of them together will probably mock the relationship. They probably only find out because one of them comes home and immediately starts bitching about how "did you HEAR Super and Prime are dating now???" and then they spend an hour talking shit about them. After all, even if Sonic has warmed up to Super a little, he probably still doesn't trust him or is comfortable being around him, and Scourge is a stubborn fucker who won't change his mind about disliking Prime out of sheer spite, so neither Prime nor Super have much of Sonic and Scourge's respect