#because yeah he can’t remember finn

[sewerratzz]

chip feeling so guilty for dragging people down with him, somehow managing to trick these good people into thinking he’s someone worth following into death, but being unable to stop himself from latching on, asking almost every new person they meet to join his makeshift family because all he’s ever wanted is people to make him feel like he belongs. like he’s safe and cared for. even though he thinks he doesn’t deserve it.

so he asks, and sometimes they say yes, and there’s a new hammock in the crew’s quarters and another life he feels like he’s tainted, like he’s taking advantage of. he makes the smallest dent in repayment by being ready to lay down his life for them if he has to. it’s not enough, because his life isn’t worth much.

chip bastard, so lonely and small and guilty, and so, so selfish.

[ki1ldeer]

Trying out a new brush chat what do we think

[sweetsbylia]

IF YOU LIE DOWN WITH ME

warnings: angst, alcoholism, mentions of violence and the classic thg stuff, no use of y/n,

summary:

a/n: there’s so little stuff for haymitch and i swear that he was my first hunger games love. he’s just so babygirl i can’t, let’s collectively agree to stop pretending he ain’t fine asfff. anyway enjoy lovelies<3 (divider by @dollywons)

word count: 1.6k

to say that this was what haymitch always wanted would be a lie. maybe not a lie but definitely not the truth to it’s fullest existence.

the truth was always something haymitch struggled with. sometimes he himself got tangled up in the bundle of lies so much, there was no way out. but how do you tell your children that right?

“daddy, are you awake?”

the small voice pierced through haymitch’s ears as he jerked up from his laying position in the armchair in the corner of the living room. he turned his head towards the door, rubbing his eyes and putting down the glass of whiskey that was left with only a cube of melting ice inside.

"huh? oh sweetheart, hey yeah, yeah i'm awake baby, what's going on? c'mere."

the small girl, with her long hair usually braided now looking like a rat’s nest, ran to her dad, climbing on his lap, and looking up at him with her big adorable eyes.

“daddy, i can’t sleep and finnick won’t tell me a story because he’s sleepin’ already..” she complained pouting her lower lip.

she looked so much like his beloved wife, the love of his life, his dearest girl. she was everything and then gave him two beautiful babies, finnick and maelin. finn was a great big brother, he looked a lot like haymitch, similar strong facial features and the deep eyes but he had the smile of his mother. she named him, as a memory after her best friend that passed away during the war. his little sister had the same kind but feisty energy to her, just like her mom, everyone would say.

“s’ that so?” haymitch muttered as he caressed her hair lightly, trying to come up with a reason for his daughter’s sleeping trouble.

“what story do you want me to tell you, hm?”

maelin thought about it for a moment touching her small chin with her point finger before smiling widely, “about mommy!”

there was a sigh leaving her father’s lips before she was met with a nod of agreement.

“okay, princess.”

the little girl squealed happily laying against her dad’s chest, listening intently to every word he said from her favourite story about her mommy she loved so dearly. she never said it out loud, but she loved how her dad spoke about the woman, hoping she’d one day find her price charming that will speak about her the same way.

“almost a decade go, when panem was still unwell, i met a young girl-”

“like me, daddy?”

“yes, like you sweetheart.” haymitch chuckled lightly before continuing.

“how is this fair! careers have great mentors and we get an alcoholic, it’s not a surprise district twelve didn’t have a victor in almost fifteen years.” a female voice echoed in the train as haymitch stumbled into the food car with a glass in his hand, ready to pour more liquor into it and drink himself into oblivion like always.

“tone it down sweetheart, some of us have suffer from migraines.” haymitch said with ironic tone pouring some more of the brownish drink into the glass and then looked to the male tribute next to the young girl that was shouting just a moment ago.

haymitch gave the boy a judging look before opening his mouth one more time, “where’s the ice?” was all he wanted to know.

the boy stared confusedly, too shy to look at his mentor, at some spot on the table just shrugging his shoulders.

haymitch sighed, rolled his eyes and went on the search himself, but spared one more look to the other tribute. he saw her at the reaping of course, she didn’t cry which was the only thing he remembered from the morning.

mentors were not supposed to get attached to the tributes. it was like a silent law, you had to let them into the arena, knowing that they will never come out, only one of them will, and what are the odds, right?

oh he tried, he tried, but it was almost impossible not to be amazed by the eighteen years old girl with a quick wit, sassy attitude and a kind heart. he’d never thought he could love someone again nor that someone would ever love him again.

haymitch didn’t say that to maelin, instead he told her how he had met a young woman from his district near the forest with flowers in her hair and aiming her bow at a tager that she drew on a tree with chalk.

“haymitch, you’re supposed to be on my side.” he’d hear her pout at him, making his heart melt a little but he’d just shake his head at her, taking her face in his hands and gently kissing her forehead.

“my love, i’m always in your side, you just need to be a little nicer to people.” haymitch chuckled lightly, as his love leaned against him.

“they don’t deserve it.” she says, strong headed, her eyes still hypnotising the bow that hung on the wall, her fingers itching to take the iron weapon in her hands and shoot an arrow though some hearts.

“i know, sweetheart, i know.” holding her in his strong embrace, haymitch tried to soothe her.

“daddy can i have a bow like mommy and auntie katniss?” his daughter interrupted him again, excitement shining in her eyes as her father gave a horrified look in return.

“maybe one day, baby girl.” he said giving her an innocent look before moving on with his story hoping she’d forget about it once the land of dreams would take her in.

“daddy how did you know you wanted to marry mommy?”

“i knew right away, sweetness.”

“woah, hello?” haymitch said surprised raising his hands in surrender as he was met with a flying knife just barely missing his face as he entered her room. the knife precisely pierced through the wooden door, staying there.

the quarter quell has been announced, katniss and peeta volunteered for her and haymitch’s place and she was angry. at herself, at the capitol, at snow, everything.

“hey..” she muttered but her eyes looked at him apologetically for the accident. haymitch gave her a look of understanding.

“is it your hidden talent to always put me on the verge of death or a passion you enjoy?” he said with sarcasm lacing his voice as he was met with a scoff in a response.

“we will never know.” she mused trying not to smile but he had the charm to brighten her mood almost always.

“so yeah, i took her on a couple of lovely dates around district twelve, you know to the market, to the town, the forest and to the lake where i asked her to marry me.”

maelin listened intently to her daddy’s words, for the millionth time maybe imagining the romantic scenario that was unfortunately very made up.

“you hang out with capitols now, great.” haymitch grumbled, annoyed as he swirled the liquor in his glass around before chugging it down. it was one of the capitol’s events that victors were forced to attend every once in a few months and haymitch spent the evening glaring at brutus, one of the past victors of district two, because in haymitch’s opinion he was way too touchy with you.

“oh my god, you can’t be serious,” his lover shot him a dirty look untangling some of the trinkets from her hair in front of the mirror.

haymitch just grumbled something not saying anything back, wanting to appear unbothered with bothered his girlfriend just enough to burst.

“you really are jealous of someone like him? i can’t belive you. i thought you knew that i-”

“then marry me, angel.”

“what?”

“be my wife.” haymitch repeated taking her hand into his and pulling a small box from the pocket of his suit jacket.

“we were so happy when we found out you and your brother will be born, i remember it like yesterday when your mom told me the news, we celebrated with all your aunties and uncles.” haymitch continued, brushing his daughter’s hair of her forehead as he noticed her eyes were starting to flutter a little.

“daddy?”

“yes, baby?”

“do you love mommy?”

there was a second of silence and something reflected in haymitch’s eyes. not doubt, not even the slightest, but grief.

“of course, sweetheart, i love your mommy so so much.” the words were secure how ever, and if there was one truth in haymitch’s life it was that he did love her more than anything, that she was the centre of his universe and even after the years, he still felt lost without her.

“then why isn’t she here with us?” maelin pouted her lip again snuggling against her dad’s broad chest.

“you know sweetness, your mommy had to go. she needed to go and become a star so she could watch over you and finn, with uncle finnick so nothing would happen to you two.” haymitch tried to soothe the little girls worries.

“where’s she?!” he shouted at some of the soldiers from district thirteen as he maniacally tried to find his wife in the crowded square.

he heard a scream of his name. he’d recognise the voice anywhere before he could do something, run to her, help her, one of the peacekeeper slit her throat with a knife and then the bombs landed. haymich’s vision went black and so did his entire world.

“i miss her sometimes, daddy. finn said i can’t miss someone i don’t remember but i do.” the little girl said in a much quieter tone now, as if it was a secret.

“oh, you can miss her, baby girl, ‘s okay, i miss her too.”

[twilightofthesandwiches]

"Just move forwards, Simon! Well, maybe I don't want to move forwards!"

Okay, so it’s pretty damn obvious that Simon’s whole rant here is not just about the physical act of moving forwards through the Time Room. Like, I don’t need to explain what ‘moving forwards’ means in this case, right? But… the thing I’ve been thinking of is that the metaphor here might actually extend more than just this one line.

Because, yeah, Simon does need to move forwards. Metaphorically because embracing change and accepting you can’t actually go back to some idealized past where things were Better is the only way he can actually be happier. And literally because there is an Angry Beetle Cop out to murder his head off for the crime of being chosen by God as a sapient hard-drive. 

But moving on is hard, and you know why?

Because it is hard to move forwards in this silly little mumu.  

And again, this is both metaphorical and literal. Simon is fully aware that he should move forwards with his life, but this robe is yet another painful reminder of the trauma he’s trying to move on from. Yet another example of people treating him like he’s Ice King. Yet another symbol that him being Simon again is seen as some sort of a mistake.

And also, it’s just obviously physically, literally uncomfortable for him to move in this thing.

Simon was forced into a fit designed for a Wizard who could Fly. He’s constantly lifting it up and being so careful about his steps as to not stumble on it, and also trying so hard to not flash his genitalia to God and God’s two OCs that he shoved in his brain. Not to mention he’s running around the Time Room barefoot. And, like, at least when Ice King wore this he still had underpants.

But the thing is.... like, okay, the thing about the Shorts Scene is that it is kinda unfair Fionna got her outfit upgraded into a more comfortable variant while Simon still has to wear the Trauma Robes. But the important thing to remember is that Fionna got those lovely shorts because she explicitly complained about the skirt.

You can say that Simon’s problems should’ve been Obvious and maybe that’s true… but it’s still notable that unlike Fionna, who immediately complained when she started to find her outfit kinda uncomfortable - Simon lets out one sarcastic grumble when he first gets the robe and then just keeps his mouth shut and quietly wallows in his misery until he reached his breaking point. 

That seems notable especially with what we see of Simon in “Simon Petrikov” and how hard it is for him to be honest with his loved ones about his problems. 

I’ve seen some people express some anger at the way Finn and Marceline acted towards Simon during that episode. Saying they didn’t care about Simon enough. But Simon was deliberately hiding his struggles from them - and especially from Marcy. You know, he opened up to Finn and Finn was honestly doing what he thought was best. The problem being that Finn is pretty-messed-up himself and not good at therapy.

And Simon decided the best solution was just to drop the whole thing and pretend that Finn’s adventure did help as a way to end that nightmare without directly confronting him about Actually Making Things Worse. As far as Finn is concerned, Simon was doing badly and is now doing well. And as far as Marcy is concerned Simon is doing just fine! And this situation is not likely to change unless Simon actually speaks up!

Of course, this is easier said than done. I mean, like I said, he was TRYING to open up to Finn and from his perspective, got punished for even trying out for help.

And with the mumu, the situation is a even more complicated. Yes, Simon didn’t speak up when he had the chance to say ‘hey, actually it’s also pretty hard to run around barefoot in a robe! I would like some Pants please!” But also… where Finn and Marceline have both expressed nothing but genuine concern for Simon and take his issues very seriously in their own way - Prismo, Fionna and Cake have all been kinda callous about Simon’s situation and his mental well-being so far. 

So maybe it wasn’t totally unreasonable for Simon to assume that any attempt to assert what would make it easier for him to actually move forwards will fail. Or at least would be far too emotionally grueling to actually be worth it. I'm not saying that's for-sure what would've happened. I mean those three aren't just jerks for the sake of being jerks - it's just that Prismo is kinda occupied with his own grief-induced-depression-spiral and Fionna and Cake don't really get Simon yet. And we're surely going to get to a point in this narrative where these two genuinely care about him too sooner or later. But I can see in that moment why he would think that.

And so he keeps wallowing in the misery and resentment as it gets increasingly harder and harder to keep going forwards. Until he breaks and decide that maybe, what he actually wants is to just stop.  

[sunrise-imagines]

welcome back!! can i please get finn (fionna and cake ver obv <3) basic pda headcanons i'm STARVINGGGGG

YAYYY TYSMMMMM

Thanks for being my first new request! I’m so happy to get back to writing after so long, and yesss it is dry as a desert out here looking for adult Finn fics so why not add to them myself :)

Hope you enjoy!

~Adult Finn PDA headcanons~

•Remember back when I said Steven was the PDA king? Yeah nah Finn dethroned him.

��Love love LOVES showing you off to everyone, like this man will not shut up about how amazing you are.

•He’s gotten a lot more bold than when he was a teenager, he is absolutely not afraid to kiss you right in the middle of a conversation, even when you’re talking to someone else/a group of people.

•He gets even worse when he’s drunk, he will constantly cling to you and try to make-out. You can’t even push him away because he’s built like a brick sh*t house, so you just have to deal with this bear of a man smothering you all night.

•Loves rubbing his face against you while cuddling, especially your belly and chest.

•For the love of Glob, please touch his hair and beard. He will practically purr when you run your fingers through it.

•Is almost always holding your hand or has his arm around your waist when you go out.

•Fist bumps are also a way he shows affection. Like if you aren’t comfortable with a lot of touching he will definitely give you fist bumps instead.

•Just likes to hold you and touch you pretty much everywhere you’re comfortable with, not in a sexual way but just to ground himself and remind him that you’re really here.

•Hugs are very important for him. After losing Jake, he’s become so caught up with trying to distract himself with adventure after adventure and he forgets to just slow down.

•There have been many times where, when he’s packing up to go on his next big adventure, you come up and just hug him and beg him to stay safe and come home, and he just melts in your embrace.

•And when he gets back he always gives you a big bear hug, lifting you up and squeezing you so tight you have a little trouble breathing. He doesn’t mean to, he’s just so happy to see you again he can’t help it.

•So yeah Finn’s a huge dork for you, but would you really want it any other way?

[pinatadisapproves]

the "polly, polly & polly" edit made me remember how weird that og drawing was, with barry clinging to polly, who is clearly not into him and unhappy about the contact, giving non-con vibes. and that drawing was from BEFORE kc went proshitter. wtf was she thinking

Honestly barry constantly making advances onto polly when he’s clearly uncomfortable with it being portrayed as a “haha funny” joke and Polly’s discomfort not being taken seriously was just… really weird too. And the fact that nobody bothered to stop him (not even finn, who not only just stood by and watched while his best friend was harassed, but also ENCOURAGED barrys behavior by telling Polly to engage with barry by telling him her favorite color) was just. Eugh.

Isn’t it so funny that this characters boundaries keep getting broken? Isn’t it SOOO funny that they’re clearly uncomfortable but keep getting harassed anyway???? Isn’t it just fucking hilarious so funny right guys? Right? Right? /sarc

And don’t get me started on how cometcare (where barry and polly get married) was supposed to be the BEST POSSIBLE ENDING TO SPARKLECARE. Kitty legit went “oh yeah barry never gets ridiculed for clearly breaking Polly’s boundaries and also marries them in the future. Polly marries the guy who kept harassing him, this is the BEST possible outcome btw!!!🩷🌈🌈🩷🌈🌈🌈”

I hate how it also portrays barry as a bumbling idiot who can’t take a hint. Polly is CLEARLY uncomfortable in that image, even grabbing barrys wrists to try and get his hands off them, and barry just keeps clinging on like a moron with no sense of boundaries. What happened to barry not liking touching people due to germ issues? What happened to barry being SMART??? And no you can’t use “but he’s autistic he can’t understand social cues!!!” as an excuse because even people who struggle with social cues would be able to take a hint when the person they keep grabbing onto keeps trying to push them off and making “eugh” faces at them.

Pollarry is (in my opinion) the worst fucking ship on spinch. It stems solely from barrys inability to take a fucking hint and leave polly alone when he’s clearly uncomfortable

More examples of polly being uncomfortable with barrys advances (and it not getting taken seriously) ↓

[joedirtymadre]

Porridge

MASH X READER! Fluff!

“Mash you don't look too good,” I said worriedly. “What do you- ACHOO!” He sneezed. “That’s what I mean,” I said. “No, must be the weath-CHOO!” He sneeze again. “Weath-choo? Yeah I don’t think so. Come on, let’s take you to bed,” I said and began dragging him. “But I still gotta workout,” he shuffled. “The longer you’re sick, the more I’ll babysit you so you can’t workout,” I scolded him. “Why are you babying him so much (Y/N)?” Dot cried as he and the rest of the gang walked up. “Maybe she’s in love with him?” Lance asked. “H-Huh? I can’t just c-care for my f-friend?” I stuttered, avoiding their eyes. Is it really that noticeable??? “Anyways, I’m just saying he’s been sneezing for 4 days now, and I don’t know about you guys but I’m tired of him sneezing everywhere…” I groaned. “That is true… during potions class he blew up our project because his sneeze blew our pot off the table…” Finn sighed. “Exactly, I’m tired of snot rockets this guys throws. He also sneezed my sandwich out of my hands,” I cried. “You said you forgave me for that,” Mash sniffed. “Doesn’t mean it’s erased from my memories!” I huffed. “How dare you do that to my dear (Y/N)’s sandwich?!” Dot glared and grasped Madh’s shoulder tightly. “It was an- ACHOO!” He sneezed on Dot’s face. Leaving Dot speechless and Mash asking for tissues. “You really wanna die don’t ya pal?” Dot said darkly, as he began squeezing Mash’s skull. “Ow. Ow. Ow. (Y/N). Save me,” Mash said, monotoned. “Come on Dot, I’ll treat you to a nice coffee. Please let go of Mash?” I asked, placing a hand on Dot’s arm. “Ok!” Dot smiled and began swooning, while Finn watched astonished at the sudden change in moods. “Alright come on Mash, time for bed. Everyone’s tired of you sneezing everywhere,” you sighed and began dragging him once again to his room. “Ahh. Save me. I want to workout,” Mash said very monotonously to the guys as I dragged him away.

I forced Mash into bed and tucked him in. “Good, now I’ll make you some porridge,” I smiled and began walking towards the door. “And cream puffs!” He called out. “Or- nevermind…” he said softly. “You remembered I can’t bake didn’t you?” I sighed. “Noo…” Mash said as he avoided my eyes. “Sorry, I wish I could make you a whole plate of cream puffs, but I can’t bake like you,” I frowned. “It’s fine, porridge is fine…” Mash said, obviously disappointed. “Ok…” I sighed. “Now don’t get out of bed, or else…” I glared darkly. “Scary,” he said before I closed the door shut and headed towards the kitchen.

I quickly finished making the porridge and began cleaning up. “I wish I could make him some cream puffs… he seemed so disappointed,” I said softly as I washed my dishes. “Oh hey (Y/N), I thought you would be here,” Finn said as he walked into the kitchen. “Hey Finn! Just finished making some porridge for Mash,” I smiled as I finished washing the remaining dishes. “You know you didn’t have to. You really gotta stop spoiling Mash, or else it’ll go to his head,” Finn sighed. “It’s fine, plus I want to do this. It makes me happy that I could do things like this for him,” I blushed. “Hmmm… (Y/N can I ask you something?” He asked. “What’s up?” I replied as I grabbed the packaged porridge. “Do you have feelings for Mash?” He asked. I felt my heart begin to face, “I-I-I don’t k-know what y-you’re talking about,” I stuttered. “Just as bad as Mash…” he laughed. “Is it that noticeable?” I asked nervously. “Sort of? Well your reaction to the question gave it away, but your actions can come off as friendly. Especially to someone like Mash, I’m sure he doesn’t know when someone’s actions have ulterior motives behind them,” He explained. “Yeah that makes sense,” I said. “So, planning on confessing to him?” He asked, as we continued walking back to his room. “I don’t think so, Mash has his mind on other stuff. Plus, I’m scared if he rejects me it’d be too awkward for us to hang out. I might as well just leave things as they are,” I softly smiled. “Are you sure that’s healthy?” Finn asks. “No… I’m certain it’s not, but trust me I don’t want to mess up what we have now,” I said, trying to cover my true feelings with a soft smile. “Well, whenever you feel overwhelmed you can talk to me. I don’t mind hearing you rant,” Finn said as he smiled back. “Thanks Finn, that means a lot,” I said. “Anyways! I gotta rush back to Mash before this gets cold!” I said and ran off.

I knocked before slowly entering the room, and noticed a sleeping Mash. I walked in slowly and shut the door trying to not make too much noise. I placed the still warm porridge on Mash’s desk and walked over to him. I slowly sat beside him on the bed and checked his temperature, a little warm. I slowly moved my hand to his cheek, and Mash quickly nuzzled into it. “You’re so cute,” I said softly. “You think so?” He asked, causing me to freeze. “S-Sorry,” I said as I tried pulling my hand back before Mash shook his head. “Keep it there, I like it,” he said and nuzzled into my hand again. “I didn’t know you were awake,” I laughed nervously. “I was just resting my eyes, but your hand feels nice and soft,” he said as he slowly opened his eyes to my flustered, beet face. “Did I get you sick?” He asked as he slowly sat up and placed his hand on my cheek. “N-No I-I just…” I said as I tried to get up. “Oh- hold on,” Mash said as he grabbed onto my hand. I yelped as I fell forward, landing over Mash. We stared at each other for a few seconds before Mash cupped my face again. “Why are you leaving?” He asked. “N-No I wasn’t,” I blushed. “Are you sure you’re ok?” He asked again. “N-No…” I sighed. “Oh no. I got you sick?” He asked. “No, you didn’t… I just… I’m just making it hard on myself,” I sighed as I got up and sat down on the edge of his bed. He quickly sat up and sat next to me. “Mash, there’s something I-I need to tell you,” I said slowly. “What’s wrong?” He asked. “Well… it’s just that-“ I cut myself off. Why is it so hard? Should I? Maybe this is a sign to not go through with it… He’ll reject me, I know it… “Nevermind… I should go,” I said as I quickly stood up and headed towards the door. “The porridge is right-“ I felt a hand grab my arm. “(Y/N) stop,” he said. “What’s wrong?” He asked. “Nothing! I’m just being weird,” I groaned and began rubbing my temples. “I’m not letting you leave until you tell me what’s wrong,” Mash said and quickly repositioned himself in front of the door. “Mash… you’re not being fair!” I said. “(Y/N) please,” he pleaded. “I like you ok?!” I yelled. “Do you know how hard it is to keep that secret? To be around someone you like and pretend that you only like them as a friend and no more?! I didn’t want it to be weird between us! I was gonna pretend these feelings didn’t exist! But you- you just had… you-“ I fell to the floor, feeling defeated. “I just didn’t want you to end up treating me differently,” my voice cracked as I stared at the floor. “Why would I?” He asked. I looked up at him dumbfounded, “Because I just said I like you!” I yelled, feeling my tears seep out. “I know… and… I think I like that,” he said softly. “H-Huh?” I asked in between my tears. “I like how nice you are and how you spoil me,” he said and dropped down to the floor. “Finn asked me the other day how would I feel if you treated someone else like that and… I didn’t like it… I didn’t like the idea of you doing all that for someone else, and he made me realize that I should do the same for you,” he said and wiped away my tears with his thumb. “Spoil you and make you feel happy too,” he said. “Y-You do?” I hiccuped. “Yeah,” he smiled. “So please stop crying, cause Kevin is getting mad at me for making you cry,” he said pointing to his left pec. I laughed and wiped my tears. “That’s better," he said and helped me up. “Now, time for porridge?” He asked. “Yeah! I hope you like it,” I smiled. “If you made it, then I’ll make sure to eat all of it. Good calories,” he said and began eating. I smiled and watched Mash eat the porr- “ACHOO!” He sneezed, causing a lot of the porridge to plop around the room and… on me. “Sorry (Y/N),” he sulked. “You’re lucky I like you, or else I would’ve killed you,” I smiled and began cleaning up. “Scary…” Mash said softly and began helping.

[evilbookworm]

It’s interesting that the writers chose to place Mike’s monologue in the middle of a very pivotal part of the story when the audience was way more focused on Max. They could of had a nice intimate moment with just the two of them where it wasn’t so chaotic—but no. They chose to put it here right after Will’s very intimate van speech. When everyone is on the edge of their seats waiting to see if Max is going to live or die they pause and have this “love confession” that made everyone [who isn’t a die hard milkvan shipper] go huh?! Everyone was talking about how weird and cringy it was and blaming it on bad acting or bad writing and confused as to why it was happening in the first place. Those people can see that 1) Will loves Mike and 2) Mike and El are having issues. But they can���t seem to make that jump as to why their relationship might be failing or why he’s waiting till now to tell her he loves her. Maybe some people didn’t get the point or just blamed it on whatever but come s5 when Byler starts becoming more and more obvious those people who were so confused about the monologue are going to be like “oh..OH!” Milkvan has been crumbling since s3 but a lot of their issues get brushed off by the fact that they’re young. People also like to blame Mike’s attitude for the sudden shift. Also a lot of the time their issues were hidden in the comedic relief of the show— “I dump your ass”. People might not remember all of their flaws as a couple. People believe they will be together because the show tells them that. This is the one time that their relationship issues were made a little more serious and put on display for everyone to see at the climax of the final episode.

Oh yess! I’m always saying this! Not to mention that Will is in multiple shots! He’s even there when Mike says I love you, and I just-what?

There was no reason for Will to be in this clip. Unless it’s promoting a love triangle. And what love triangle would there be to promote if Will has no chance with Mike? We can’t even see El’s face! It’s a shit shot. They had the easy opportunity to cut Will out of the shot but noooo. And yeah, even milevens had complaints about that scene back in 2022, but now that the new season is getting closer and there hasn’t been any mileven clips since over a year ago, they’re scrambling with everything they can.

Yeah, the bad acting thing with Finn has come back a lot. I’ve seen people openly complain about how finn acts during certain mileven scenes and scenes with mike and will specifically. You’d think they’d put two and two together.

Aghhh don’t even make me started with how people view Mike after s3-s4. As a prominent Mike Wheeler defender, I cannot stress enough the fact that you are supposed to notice these changes!!! There is a reason he’s been acting like this!!! The same thing with Mike’s mental health issues. It was clear he had them the first 2 seasons, but the second it started affecting others, the audience lost sympathy and made him out to be this vile, disgusting person that just…isn’t Mike. Like, maam this is a 14 year you’re talking about. He’s not hell incarnate. Calm down.

[nothingcouldfall7]

if anyone has byler doubt after today just remember they can’t risk any implication that byler is happening in s5 now that they’ve filmed it (especially by finn), mileven is canon so they are safe when they say they support this ship it is the SAFE option; they literally waited 5 seasons to make byler canon and they can’t make the mistake of making the ship seem like an option from their side even months before the actual promo (the main trailer) for s5 and i still think they will be very subtle with it and make it more of a surprise and plot point in s5. the evidence is on screen in all seasons- it is not coincidence of how finn plays mike, like you can literally take just 1 “byler proof” that byler is real and it should make you convinced on that

let me say for example: the contrast of mileven break up and byler fight in s3 CMOONNN- the difference in the dynamics and making mileven break up a comedic thing and byler very angsty and sad- even the aftermath when max said to el “he will come crawling back to you” umm he did not instead ge biked across hawkings in pouring rain to will’s house and when he wasn’t there he went didn’t give up and kept on looking for him; he also immediately corrected his past behaviour about not caring where dustin is when will pointed it out and took emphasis to not make the same mistake again

i mean we all know this but like i could talk about this forever and that’s just one things amongst hundreds of others and maybe more

and just props to duffers like i think its just so fascinating how they do all this and get away with it so it stays more of a surprise for the GA and i understand the GA for shipping mileven or for not rlly caring about that in general because its not always something you notice on a one watch but when you think about it from any perspective it makes so. much. sense. its unreal

might have gotten a bit lost in here in the end idk but im also kind of watching the grammys while studying while listening to music while its 4 am so yeah also my first post on here lol? non toxic twitter and kind of a byler space i love it here

[v-i-r-i-d-i-a-n]

After watching the Crystmas one shot I’ve been sucked back into riptide by my throat, so I did watch episode 92 without doing any quotes because it was early and I was tired BUT

Episode 93 “Legend Lore” quotes and moments!!

Also if Alphonse dies I’m gonna (remembers suicide jokes only harm myself and those around me) sob into my pillow

THE CONDI INTRO IS KILLING MEEEE

“But with gun you can BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG. And all your problems are solved!! :DD”

Magical sword;”you can’t be serious.”

Gillion;”OH SO NOW YOUVE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY?”

Brb gonna go sob in my pillow

Earl being fucking FROZEN is so funny

Ollie; “what if- what if instead of making Alphonse the canon, we made Alphonse the ship!”

Jay;”that is an INSANE idea IM IN.”

Jay;”Damn I need to try weed sometime”

Gillion;”THATS YOUR TAKE AWAY FROM TODAY?? Weed kills people 😭😭”

Jay;”I just need to rework the blueprints a bit but…they’re made for this ship so-“

Gillion;”If it doesn’t work…can I be the ship?”

Jay;”Gillion…yeah, yeah you can. You are the ship.”

Gillion;”You’re right you’re right I am the ship I am the ship- I’ve been awake for 48 hours.”

Jay;”Thank you for the kind words that means a lot.”

Griffin;”Like I said, soft and cuddly on the inside.”

Chip;”would it still be the Millennium Chipper…or would it be the Millennium Alphonse?”

Gillion;”Hear me out…the Alphatross”

Gillion;”And then I can be the ship!”

Chip;��Gillion- do you understand what “being the ship” would be?”

Gillion;”Oh yeah,”

Chip;”No arms- no legs? Just-“

Gillion;”Speed. Power. Buoyancy.”

Chip;”BUT YOU WOULDNT HAVE ARMS??”

Ollie;”I have no idea what’s going on :((“

Gillion;”You’d be a good boat”

Ollie;”what. 😟”

Gillion;”I am the boat, the boat is me, I am the boat, the boat is me, to be the boat is to be free”



Chip getting splashed by Queen twirling a mop

Chip;”You widdle or… think about bein’ a boat- goddamnit.”

Chip;”I think Gillion just thought up a new color.”

Gillion;”Gurple. 😇”

Jay;”I mean, it makes sense he’s your grandpa”

Gillion *looks down at Finn’s essentially porn novel*;”I know….thats what I’m worried about 😟”

Chip;”I mean he’s taking a bath with his grandpa I don’t wanna be here for this-“

OMG FINN FINNNNN FINN HES FINALLY HERE

“PEEPAW BE GETTING DOWN” IM SOBBING HELP ME LMAO

Gillion;”I’m sorry I’m not very good with my words, and I don’t know where we are- I just need you to be out there again!” The way I’m gonna start sobbing

NVM APPARENTLY GILLION IS SUPLEXING FINNS SUBCONSCIOUS NO LONGER ON THE VERGE OF TEARS

Drey and Finn Drey and Finn Drey and Finn I love them they’re getting reunited

Gillion;”Does- does that say garble bodarble?”

Gillion;”Sometimes I forget that I can read.”

Gillion;”I call upon the spell that is boss to give us that hot goss”

GODDD THE LORE IS SO LORING ITS SO LORE AGHHHHH

Gillion;”well…that is the most threatening thing I have ever read”

I love how Goobleck just…exists. And Grizzly just lets it happen ITS SO FUNNY

Gillion;”So not…good stuff”

Goobleck;”No very bad!”

Gillion;”…what.”

Gillion;”they all sound fucking COOL AS SHIT but I don’t know who they are :((“

Drey;”I honestly never believed in em’”

Gillion;”That’s my mom you’re talking about. Be nice.”

Gillion and Chip, fish n chips my absolute beloved <33

Ughh I missed these stupid pirates

[robocatfan]

An angry summary of Speak the Ocean by Rebecca Enzor -Part 5

Because the holidays ain’t stopping me from some good old roasting.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8

Chapter 8- Finn

Finn, after having just traumatized a poor mer forever, immediately wants to go for a drink to celebrate this successful procedure, since unlike with previous arrivals who fought more, the only noteworthy thing the mer did was make “noise”(aka screaming in terror), so the separation of the mer and dolphin went ”smoothly”.

Serge is just as happy as him, but Jen is unsettled to the point that “she stares at the tank like she just witnessed a brutal murder of her childhood” and whispers that she’d never known that mer could scream.

Serge (son of a bitch!) dismisses it by saying that they don’t, and that that all that “noise” the mer made was merely something they do, like the screech of a hawk (which, wrong! Hawks don’t screech for no reason - and she didn’t make that “noise” for no reason either!) and reassures her that she’ll learn not to do it soon enough.

Still, Jen says that they can’t just leave them alone after all of that, so Finn then attempts to be reassuring by telling her that the drugs are still in the mer system, and they are leaving to get her to calm down and adjust to her new surroundings so that she’ll be easier to work with the next day.

Maddy then comes back (in chapter 4 she wasn’t present because she was in concessions, forgot about that because it isn’t important), surprised that they already placed the new arrival in before she could help, and when Finn asks if she’s back to scrubbing tanks, she responds that she’s actually going to help him train the new mer.

Finn grimaces because he knows she’ll be pissed when she learns that he’s working with Jen instead, especially since he’d previously told her she’ll be his co-trainer when he got a mer.

In actuality she’s more hurt than angry at this, but even that doesn’t stop him from dismissing her because not only does he still blame her for his own clumsiness almost making him mermaid food, but he feels that Jen’s inexperience will keep him on his toes since he’s gotten indifferent to the mer.

Regardless, he tries to offer her a drink as a form of amends, but she (understandably) declines and leaves.

The next morning Finn arrives early to examine a still curled up Io/Erie, noting how close she is to the dolphin, her ink stained fingers (which he thinks it’s the result of her trying to hunt an octopus) and only now finally fully acknowledging her shredded tail fin, assuming it’s the reason she was caught.

He then startles her by tapping the glass, causing her to bolt and look up, making him realize she hasn’t eaten the fish they left for her.

So he goes to get more, and when he returns he finds her “making noises” at the dolphin before she retreats due to his presence. He thinks nothing of this, and simply “reassures” her by saying he won’t hurt her unless she tries to kill him while he reaches the platform to reach her.

Remember the first training manual when it said that one should keep at least 3 feet away from the water? Yeah nah! Man strolls up and casually stands near the border with a fish at hand so she can take it - in other words, putting himself at risk of getting snatched as well due to the proximity! - and when she doesn’t come, he decides to kneel down - which he does acknowledge is dangerous and stupid (but he still does it anyway!) - but still, the mer doesn’t move even as he grumbles about how she won’t make money if she starves.

So deciding that she’s still too drugged to eat, he leaves her the fish and goes to feed Cadmium/Niku instead. He’s immediately unnerved by the way it stares at him like the older mer do (trying to find a weakness to exploit and I’m already tired of this sh-) and considers that maybe giving him to the inexperienced Jen wasn’t a good idea.

Still, he tries to feed him, but he only glares at him, so just like with “Iodine” he leaves him the fish and backs up.

He complains about his lack of success to Jen when she arrives and also warns her about the dolphin.

Jen then approaches Iodine/Erie’s tank, which has Finn remark that he keeps forgetting that she’s seen the mer up close (even tho he’d previously shown her Ray and K/Clair and she surely had opportunities to see them in the days that followed), and when she notes how strange the mer looks, this causes him to remember how his father acted when he first told everyone about his discovery.

Oh and you can tell he has a favorite parent, because he says that he believed him simply “because why would he lie?” while he has nothing to day about how his mother disagreed and argued with her husband because of it.

I guess that got him sentimental, because due to not wanting Jen to think their boss was the one who discovered merfolk, he starts telling her about how it was actually his father Dr Cale Jarvis, how he lost his job and was mocked for his claims before he eventually he disappeared without a trace in his pursuit of the truth, causing Delmara - who remember, was his student- to make it her mission to prove him right. Which, according to Finn, didn’t take long.

This is shown in a two short paragraph flashback (which is written just like the rest of the text, making it indistinguishable from the paragraphs surrounding it unless you really look at it) , in which she stormed into Serge’s family restaurant to show everyone the mer she found and kept in a tank, and Finn was so entranced by this that he decided to work for her ever since.

Jen then hopes that the mer’s tail will heal and he reassures her that she will (as long as they get her to eat) and that she’ll be their biggest star, while at the same time unnerving the mer by grinning creepily at her.

In the afternoon, while Finn’s sure the quinaldine has worn off by then, neither mer or dolphin have eaten, instead swimming away from any fish that are thrown at them “as though it’s a grenade and not food”. Also he’s irritated by the fact that the mer keeps curling up “as if she can hide”.

As he checks the water parameters (with a pole - why don’t you use those to feed the mers too?) Delmara comes in to check his progress. He tells her that so far he’d only had to shock the mer to separate her from the dolphin and that neither have eaten, which he assumes is the result of the sedatives.

However his boss points out that the dolphin isn’t sedated, and wants him to eat so she doesn’t lose the money she paid for it if it dies. And after failing to get Io’s attention and cursing out the fishermen for presumably putting extra quinaldine for the dolphin in spite of mammals not being affected by it, she orders Finn to shock her to wake her up before she calls in the vet.

He hesitates a little due to recalling the pain of the shock… and when I say “a little” I mean it, because that doesn’t stop him from picking the electroshocker ™ up and using it in literally the next sentence - in the same paragraph no less! “I hesitate” my a-

Anyway, he does as Delmara orders, and once he shocks her twice and she swims in a panic- confirming that she’s healthy enough to move - Delmara says she’ll get the vet (something that could show us more about the medical procedures used for the creatures - but just like many other things, we never get to see it) and takes her leave, not before warning him and Jen that he wants the mer to be performing by July, less than two months.

Finn notes that while it is a tight schedule for a new show it’s doable as long as they can get the mer to eat… which they don’t manage to do even after two days have passed.

And even though he should feel grateful that his ward isn’t actively trying to send him to the next life, Finn says he “likes the ones that fight” ( even though once again, this makes her easier to handle than if she actively planning to murder him) and calls Io/Erie boring for just curling up with the dolphin.

Weren’t you just happy two chapters ago that her cowardly nature meant she would be easier to work with?!

He’s so frustrated by this that he kicks the tank and after Jen gets the dolphin to eat (which is said by her and not shown) he makes her clean the dead fish in the tank while he sets out to see if Mia and Laz (which we don’t see) have any advise on how to handle the mer.

Yes, you heard that right: this fucking idiot decided to leave Jen -someone who he constantly says is inexperienced -alone with a creature he sees as dangerous, when the rules say that there should be more than one person in the room while working with them.

Unsurprisingly, literally a sentence later he hears her scream five words after he’d left the room. Idiot.

So he rushes back in (but wait if his fellow trainers were nearby why didn’t they come in as well?) and calls himself a dumbass for his action - because he is one - when he finds a shivering Jen on the platform and attempts to console her.

Though at the same time he appears more concerned about the fact he might have to foam his mer for attacking his assistant.

Thankfully however, Jen is fine, and remember that dolphin necklace she has that I previously said will be important? Well, after she calms down enough to speak, she explains that while she was caught off guard by Io/Erie’s speed, the mer only took her necklace instead of harming her.

Finn then peers into the tank and, sure enough, the mer is holding the necklace.

So in spite of still thinking of mers as instinctual predators who aren’t smart enough as humans, he notes that “my girl is motivated by pretty things, not food.” ( just like with his thoughts on K/Clair’s and Argon/Huron’s interactions , why would he think that if, again, he doesn’t think mers are smart enough to have conversations or appreciate objects?! Why constantly contradict yourself, narration?)

So with that in mind, he decides to clean the fish himself and orders Jen - who btw, is still reeling from experiencing what was a near death experience from her perspective - to get fish from the market and also get some more cheap seaglass necklaces. Jen grumbles that hers wasn’t cheap but does as he says anyway… Pretty casually actually, for someone who nearly had a heart attack and straight up cried a few paragraphs earlier.

Chapter 9- Erie

Erie excitedly shows her guard the necklace she just snatched, and while she casually notes that her actions caused the landfolk to scream, it was worth it due to the seaglass reminding her of home, and that compared to it the water here doesn’t feel right.

She then sees a loop with a net enter the water, and briefly fears that it might take the necklace. But to her relief it only scoops up the dead fish, so she goes back to talking to Niku in spite of the fact that he can’t hear her, but it’s the only thing keeping her sane (which only consists of two sentences in which the “talk” is told instead of shown) until the other landfolk (Finn) steps between then once more while holding a container full of fish, and she once again retreats while clutching the necklace.

The landfolk then tips the container before talking to her and… ok let me clear this up first:

As shown previously, Erie does not understand human language (which she calls “air words”) and so has no idea what the human characters are saying, and her thoughts clearly show that. However from now onwards, despite said lack of understanding, the text itself shows us most of the time precisely what the humans are saying, completely ruining the immersion of her limited pov, since the reader very clearly understands what they are saying (since all of the text- including said dialogues in her pov - are written in the same language and way) but she doesn’t, making some of her discoveries and statements feel redundant. Which didn’t happen in chapter 7 and helped the human characters have a mysterious and creepy vibe from her perspective, so idk why the author decided to change that.

Like in this instance; we are clearly shown that he’s telling her that she needs to eat; but as stated before, she doesn’t understand shit!

However, she does pick out that he keeps repeating “eat” and “Iodine” constantly, and while there’s a sentence of her pondering the connection between “eat” and the fish, for some reason there’s no similar questioning when it comes to “Iodine”.

In fact, she instantly realizes that it’s a name meant for her, which makes her wonder if she and the others were brought here to be kept as landfolk pets (like she’s a pet seahorse, as she puts it)

The idea offends her so much (at least I presume it does, cause after that observation the text doesn’t really show her doing anything that indicates she’s mad - just wrapping her fingers around the seaglass and that’s that) that when she hears the name again, she snaps at the landfolk by telling him her actual name and demanding that he take her home.

While at first this only causes the landfolk to go straight for the “painful loop” - since remember, they don’t allow the mers to make noise -, she persists and eventually gets him to realize she’s actually saying her name, much to his utter bafflement and shock.

Ok so… if her language (which her kind share with dolphins) is different enough from the one of humans, to the point that our usual alphabet is very unlikely to apply to it and people don’t register their sounds (which considering they share it with dolphins, it’s implied they communicate primarily with squeaks and clicks) as words at first… how was Finn able to correctly understand and say her name after she indicated that the sound she was making was one?

(Like it would have made a little more sense if Erie tried to imitate the way humans speak while saying her name so that he understood it better.)

In any case, the landfolk takes just two sentences to recover from what is essentially a world shattering revelation - because wow, who would have thought that these human looking creatures that they constantly dismissed as mere animals actually had proof of complex vocalizations right in front of their fucking faces, but they never discovered this because they kept shocking them into silence?! - before he immediately goes up to tell her that he’s named Finn.

After he jumps back when Erie presses her hands against the glass- - which puzzles her since she has no idea what she could possibly do to him in her current state - she excitedly relays her findings to Niku (who can’t still hear her) before telling his name to Finn.

Again, I wonder how he’s perfectly able to pronounce and discern all of this.

In any case, while Niku is glaring at Finn, Erie wonders if she would be able to ask the landfolk about what they want with her kind if she could just “speak air”, since while she’s sure they won’t eat her - considering how kind foams when they die, though, why would she think anything would consider them a viable food source? - , she’s confused about the fact that the only things her captors have done is harmless stuff (didn’t she see them being the ones who shocked her?) like speak, watch her and throw dead fish. She’s especially confused about the dead fish.

Just then, the landfolk she took the seaglass from (Jen) returns, and Finn instantly rushes up to introduce them to one another, much to Jen’s shock. Also Erie notes as she’s saying her name that it’s a strange one, while she likes Finn’s name.

Because of course she’s gonna be more fond of the guy who’s gonna be her love inte- I-I mean, the guy who’s name feels good in her tongue. Yeah yeah … let’s just get back on track.

The two landfolk start to talk to one another (which is one of the few things we don’t get to understand with her), before Finn pulls out a fish from the bag Jen was carrying, much to Erie’s dismay. And it’s only when Finn mimes biting at it that she finally realizes that she’s supposed to eat the fish…. which she finds gross cause they are dead.

But like… isn’t her kind predators? Isn’t eating dead stuff supposed to be something they should be used to and have to do to survive? Sure, they live in the ocean, where one can’t just leave their prey lying around after catching it, but I’m sure eating them alive isn’t always an option all the time!

Anyway, the idea of eating a dead fish that was caught in a net like her causes Erie to hesitate in spite of her present hunger… until Finn pulls out another seaglass necklace, and she reluctantly agrees to eat it in exchange for the object.

Satisfied that his plan (which only now makes sense than it had before due to him now knowing this mer is smart enough to speak and thus be swayed by something like this) has worked, Finn guides her to the platform and greets her - another example where we clearly see what he’s babbling about but Erie’s narration says she doesn’t understand what he means) before he repeats his dumbass move of crouching down in front of the water from earlier. And then he has the gall to jump back when Erie does take the fish as if he’d expected to be pulled along with it (which she thinks she just might do if they don’t give her the necklace).

She sniffs the fish, and is surprised when not only it smells fine, but like the ocean, so much so that she ends up swallowing it all (except the eyeballs) and is left wanting more.

Finn is smiling smugly when she returns, but he’s caught off guard when she snatches the bag by his feet instead of the necklace he was holding. She doesn’t find more food, but it’s overjoyed upon finding that it’s full of necklaces, including a magenta colored one that she puts on, causing Jen to laugh (which surprises her since it sounds like merfolk laugher) while Finn flushes.

However, she’s still confused about the fact that they didn’t hurt her (how hasn’t she realized that they are the ones that shocked her and Niku? Shouldn’t seeing Finn walk towards the “loop” made her put two and two together?) and so she decides that she needs to learn to “speak air” in order to find out why they’re here.

[musical-shit-show]

“i fucking love you.” “hang up, and tell me this when you’re sober.” Dewey Finn x reader angst? Can go either way. I love ur work so much onh my goodness I can’t get enough

modern idiots

Pairing: Dewey Finn x Reader

Inspiration: Prompt #3 (“i fucking love you.” “hang up, and tell me this when you’re sober.”) from Prompt List 1

Warnings: Cursing, drinking, suggestive dialogue, mutual pining, angst, fluff at the end

Word Count: 2,200

Author’s Note: So, I’m actually embarrassed at how long this took. I think I just hit a wall at soooo many points, but I’m hoping the end result is what the original requester had in mind. Thanks everyone for their patience. I know I’m not the most consistent poster, but I hope to take the next few months to write more and redo my layout to make my masterlist a bit more streamlined. As always, check out my about me page and prompt lists if you’d like to submit an ask. I’d love to get a BJ ask out before the end of spooky season, but unfortunately, I’m drowning in Halloween activities. But definitely stay tuned and enjoy!

“So,” you heard a flirty drawl come from your phone speaker, “Got any fun plans tonight? Maybe…a hot date?”

You snorted a laugh as you surveyed the scene in front of you: a large bowl of popcorn, fluffy blanket draped across your lap, Sex and the City playing on the TV at low volume.

“Oh yeah,” you replied sarcastically, “I actually have a line of suitors out the door just waiting to ask for my hand. It’s all very Regency era.”

“I’ll just pretend I know what ‘Regency era’ means and say…good for you, babe,” Dewey said, making another giggle escape from your throat.

Nobody made you laugh like Dewey Finn. He was your best friend and more recently, your best fuck buddy. You swore you’d never get yourself into a situation like this, but with Dewey it just felt so…easy. Natural.

And if you were spending your time fucking him, you’d have less time to stop and think about how hopelessly in love you were with him. Definitely not the easiest predicament to get yourself out of, but at least it involved good sex.

“Remind me to force you to watch Pride and Prejudice sometime,” you mused, popping a few kernels of popcorn into your mouth, “We need to get you educated, Finn.” Now it was his time to laugh, and you felt your heart flutter as his rich chuckle filled your ears.

“Well, maybe I could come over tonight to get some…tutoring…” he probed. You could practically hear his smirk from the other side of the phone line.

You quickly remembered how disheveled you looked. Even though he was your best friend, Dewey was still a man; And you knew all too well how superficial men could be, no matter how well they thought they knew you.

“Eh, I don’t know,” you said, running your fingers through your hair that definitely should’ve been washed the day prior, “Maybe sometime later this week? I haven’t showered today and—”

“Perfect, I haven’t either,” he cut you off, “We can shower together.”

This motherfucker.

“Very smooth,” you considered. But you couldn’t give in so easily. You knew every time you slept with him, the harder it would be to repress your feelings.

Dewey waited on bated breath. He wanted, no, needed to see you. Not because he had grown accustomed to a consistent booty call, as nice as the arrangement had been.

No, he was finally going to tell you how he really felt.

That he loved you. And way before you had ever shared a bed; he thought maybe he had loved you from the first moment you met. Which sounded unbelievably cheesy every time Dewey thought about it.

But it was true. He was sure of it.

He just felt like the biggest idiot in the world for not telling you before landing in this mess. The no strings attached, friends with benefits kind that you had both agreed on.

It’s what you wanted. And for a while, he tried to convince himself that it’s what he wanted too. That it would just be enough just to hold you, touch you, kiss you.

But Dewey, despite his best efforts, was a romantic. Even if you rejected him, at least he’d put himself out there. The thought was terrifying, but he couldn’t stand the torture anymore. All he needed was for you to actually agree to see him.

“I just don’t think tonight is a good night, Dew,” you said finally. He furrowed his brow. You had never passed on a hangout, not even before you two had started hooking up. He tried to ignore the knot forming in his stomach.

The line was silent for a noticeably long beat. “You still there?” you squeaked, wondering what was up with him. Surely, he could wait a couple days? Maybe that would be enough time for you to get your shit together and act normal.

He cleared his throat. “Uh, yeah, yep. Still here, sorry,” he muttered, “It’s fine, I’ve actually been meaning to go out with Ned anyways so…I’ll text ya.” The disappointment laced in his voice made your heart hurt.

“Dew, I’m so—”

“Hey, don’t worry about it,” he cut in before you could properly apologize, “I, uh, gotta go.” And then the line went dead.

You felt your guilt wrap around your heart and constrict it like a python. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to see Dewey per se, but you didn’t know how to be around him any more without spilling your guts and confessing.

And the thought of being rejected and losing his friendship was too much to bear. If suffering in silence was the way to keep him in your life, you’d happily take that torment.

Getting up from the couch, you swung open your fridge and eyed the two unopened bottles of wine you had bought weeks earlier. You quirked an eyebrow to your empty apartment, Carrie Bradshaw still monologuing from your living room.

Maybe you wouldn’t be as tormented after a few glasses.

~oOo~

Dewey didn’t feel like drinking. The bar was too loud, the patrons were too preppy, and the beer he was nursing was too expensive.

He made a mental note to never let Ned pick the going out spot ever again.

It had only been a few hour since he last spoke to you, but he had been absentmindedly checking your contact in his messages the whole night. He wanted to text you and apologize for acting weird, but he couldn’t find the words.

He couldn’t escape the sinking feeling that you had lost interest in him; It tore him up inside to think that you didn’t want to see him anymore, or worse, had found someone else.

He could’ve kicked himself for letting your friendship become anything more without him telling you how he really felt. He was a coward, and now the thought of losing his best friend made his stomach turn.

Dewey’s shame spiral was interrupted by his phone buzzing incessantly.

It was you.

And his heart nearly jumped out of his chest.

“Hello?” he answered tentatively, rising from his barstool to find a quieter place to talk to you. He found himself running outside, the late summer air still percolating with humidity.

He heard you giggle on the other end, followed by a snort. A snort.

You never snorted. Unless you were drunk.

“Heyyy Dewey,” you drawled. You had already finished your first bottle of wine and had just opened the second. Which meant you were feeling very bold and very honest. “How’s your night going?”

Dewey couldn’t help but let a small smile flit across his face. Even when you were very clearly smashed, you still managed to be polite.

“Uh, it’s going okay,” he said, glancing back towards the door to the bar, “Definitely not as good as yours sounds.”

“Andwhat’sthatsupposedtomean?” you slurred, eliciting a laugh from Dewey. You could feel the confession rising in your throat, burning like bile.

“All I’m saying…” he said, rubbing the back of his neck, “is that you seem like you’re really enjoying your night in.” He couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt; Maybe if he hadn’t been so short with you, you wouldn’t have been self-medicating alone in your apartment.

You groaned into your throw pillow, unable to fight the urge any longer. “I’m sad.”

“Why are you sad?”

“Because, I fucked it up. I fucked us up,” You felt salty tears sting in your eyes. It wasn’t like you to be the drama queen, but wine always made you a bit weepy.

He sighed. “You didn’t do anything wrong,” Dewey said gently, feeling even guiltier for being so pissy earlier, “I’m sorry. I just…really wanted to see you tonight. But there’s always other nights.”

A small sob caught in your throat at the statement. Though you were happy to know he wasn’t going to kick you to the curb, the weight on your chest wouldn’t let up until you told the truth.

“I-I know,” you sounded so pathetic, but there was nothing you could do to stop yourself. “You’re just…Dewey, you’re my best friend. And I-I was scared, but I’m not scared anymore.”

Dewey shook his head. He really shouldn’t be taking you at your word when you were plastered like this. “Look…you don’t have to do this.”

“But I do, Dewey. I fucking love you.”

He didn’t know what to say. He just knew he couldn’t hear that from you right now, not when you might not actually mean it.

He took deep breath and hoped he was making the right choice. “Hang up, and tell me this when you’re sober.”

Your stomach sank as you heard the piercing beep beep beep that indicated the end of the call.

~oOo~

Dewey shuffled into his apartment hours later, leaving Ned behind at the bar with the rest of his friends. At least one of them was having a good night.

After hanging up with you, he tried, really tried to take his mind off of what you had said. But he couldn’t. Every time his thoughts lingered, your words played on a loop over and over.

I fucking love you.

It didn’t seem real. It almost felt like a prank, though he knew you could never be that cruel. But that nagging feeling told him that it was just the alcohol talking, and that you’d call him up tomorrow for a very awkward conversation.

He sighed heavily, switching the TV on to distract himself. His calloused fingers drummed on his knee rhythmically, a nervous tick he had picked up after years of band practices and rock concerts.

He contemplated grabbing another beer from the fridge; he wasn’t even a little buzzed, but maybe taking a page out of your playbook would act as a temporary cure to the unease he was feeling.

His thoughts were again interrupted by his phone buzzing.

You again.

Only this time, he contemplated letting the call go to voicemail. He wasn’t sure how drunk you’d sound on the other end, especially after he ended your last call so abruptly.

With a deep sigh, he picked up. “Hello?” he answered hesitantly.

“Hey,” you replied. To Dewey’s surprise, you sounded stone cold sober. “Can we talk?”

He felt his entire body tense.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, we can. You sound…better?”

You couldn’t help but snort a laugh. Your head was pounding, your stomach was churning, and your eyes were watering from embarrassment. “Yeah, never better,” you deadpanned.

You couldn’t help but gulp, swallowing your shame. “I’m uh, actually here,” you stumbled awkwardly, “Like, at your place.”

Before you could even think of what you’d say next, Dewey’s door swung open and he stood in front of you, wide-eyed and clearly shocked at your presence.

You both stood in a rigid silence for a moment, unsure of what to say given what had transpired earlier that evening.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hi,” you squeaked.

He couldn’t help but give you a once over, a tiny smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. Running his fingers through his dark brown hair, he blurted the first thing that came to mind.

“Did you mean it?”

You blinked stupidly. “Did I mean it?” you had to repeat his question just to let it sink in.

“Yeah,” he doubled down, “Did you actually mean it when you said you loved me? Or was it the booze talking? Because honestly if it was the booze talking, I’d completely understand, I mean shit, I say things I don’t mean all the time when I’m hammered, just ask Ned—”

“Dewey—”

“—I mean seriously, I was being such a fucking jackass earlier, but it’s only because I’d never thought you’d be into me the way that I’m into you, and—”

“Dewey!” you said again, finally cutting off his rambling, “Breathe.”

He took a shallow breath.

“I meant it,” the words tumbled from your mouth, “I love you. And I’m sorry that it took me getting completely shitfaced after our fight for me to finally tell you. I really was scared of losing whatever we had, and I totally get it if you don’t feel the same way and—”

“Now I gotta shut you up, babe,” Dewey said, his voice smooth despite his cheeks being flush.

He grabbed your waist and pulled you towards him, placing a surprisingly gentle kiss on your mouth. You had kissed Dewey hundreds of times since you began hooking up, but there was something different about this one.

It felt like he wasn’t holding back anymore, and neither were you.

Just as you started to deepen the kiss, he pulled away. “And if it wasn’t obvious, I love you, too. And I really am sorry for tonight.”

Your heart swelled at hearing him reciprocate, and you threw your arms around his neck. “I’m sorry, too. I guess we were both being idiots, huh?”

He nodded, and you giggled. “Maybe…we could make it up to each other? Say, right now?”

You smirked, and kissed him one more time for good measure. “That’s the best idea you’ve had in months, Finn.”

------------------------------------------------------------------

thanks for reading! as always, like/comment/reblog if you enjoyed!

:)

[clearancecreedwatersurvival]

SEASON 3 FINALE LIVEBLOG TIIIIIIIIME

Jesus Christ I’m so tense and it’s just the recap

god. Oh my god it’s happening fuck I’m freaking out

oh fuck yeah doorway time

Fuck the elaida stuff I’m ready

Oh shit no aol flashback?????

FUCK DOORWAYoh my GOD

elaidaaaaaaaaaaa

oh shit alviarin

Oh I love this elaida finn deal holy shit that’s so good

AHH FORMAL SHAWLS

veriiiiin

ALVIARIN

Oh yeah Kerene cameo

Okay so the episode is gonna end with elaida being raised to the seat I bet

Siuan’s desk box…….

love a little moment with siuan and Leane before all this

YEAH SQUASH HARVESTING TOH FOLLOW-UP

Post randgwene breakup awkwardness with traumatized rand instead of just traumatized egwene

Ooh she figured out how to tie off weaves

Moiraine in this scene…..ma’am……

Jeane. Bad idea girl.

MOGHEDIEEEEEN

Yes street food scene

Oh this is gonna be the mat and Nynaeve episode ain’t it ny cpr for sure

Lanfear in a perfectly white dress for the first time…….so good………….

Rand circling around Lanfear like a hunting animal

THIS SMACKDOWN rand is laying her out

yay dreamworld team up!!!

lol they run away immediately

AHA THERE SHE IS

pleaaaase can they collar asmo please please please

Moghedien kicking sammael chsakcbaskcbasf

Is she gonna kill him????

YEAH

Oh my god moghedien getting to be even freakier I love her

aviendha asking egwene the questions she’s asking herself because of her visions

I think it’s today— oh Moiraine we’re really in it now

Lanfear hanging with the shaido

Oh she is gonna give him the dragons!!!!

I love that we are doing all three plotline finales simultaneously this rules actually I was worried they’d do one at a time but intercutting them is so good

Liandrin v Nynaeve time???

The cat dhaskjchsakcbasc

Elayne ter’angreal time!!

Thom and elayne team up….

Oh she already knows he was their court bard?? Fair enough

‘What are we gonna do with the collar if we find it’ put it on Asmodean next question

thom: ‘who??’ YESSSS

BALCEFIRE ROD!!!

MAT

Dajkcbadkvbsdkcdsc

Just walks right in with no idea what it is bckascnadkcbsdkcbeakcbaekcbeakcae

HEAH FINN TIME!

Cbsdkvdsbcksdbvkdscbdskcbdskcbdskcbdskcbsdkcbsdcs THE DESIGNDVBKSDVBSDKFBDSKFBRSKVBSEKVS

HOLY DHOASLVBKADRJBBDFLKBJFDBJKB

Oh shit min

Jchdskchdscd this is so tense

My heart is fucking pounding

NYNAEVE FOUND IT

thom is def gonna die

Thom……..

Elayne hell yes!!!! THAT FUCKING RULED

AHHHHHHH THE BALEFIRE MOMENT WAS SO GOOD

god the finn design……..I can’t……

MAGIC AMULET TIME

Take the memories?? Hmm

The leather outfit is so good

Oh my god

Oh my god

Oh my god

Oh my god

Oh my good

Oh so min cpr actually

Mat flirting with her immediately, mat/min real!!!

AHHHHHH HOLES IN HIS MEMORYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Finally Nynaeve v Liandrin confrontation

Ny trying to save her lol

Nynaeve has to get disempowered some more so her later moment to be badass is more satisfying

Ope don’t drown Nynaeve

Come on girl you can do this

Remembering her arch vision child……

YEAHHHHHHH LET’S GOOOOOO

She gets to part the seas and during Passover even.

That’s my overpowered best girl <333

Oh she put in the kisain before dying

Ohhhh she’s sacrificing herself…….

DEATH IS LOGHTER THAN A FEATHER FUCK UEAH WE GOT ITTTTTTT

Oh he knows she betrayed him

I know— sdvbkdsfhdskcndskcdhskvdshv MOIRAINE

oh she is leaving him this episode though!!!

‘Or if you lost your mind’ - please show the egwene arch vision more

Oh this is a lovely little goodbye scene for rand and Moiraine ain’t it

Angst

OH VERIN

TOWER COUP TIME

Deposition not shown onscreen it seems

Getting right to it it seems

Like spears….

I love how the stilling weave looks it was cool in s1 too with Logain

Leane angst

MOGHEDIEN TIME

Liandrin taking a gamble here. Will it pay off

‘I don’t work well with others’ ‘neither do i’ someone write fic immediately

LMAO SAMMAEL’S CORPSE

Lmao hannibal wishes

I love this new Lanfear outfit

Oops bit late to arrive to the caracarn party

Lmao couladin speech. Buddy. No.

YEAH RAND LET’S GOOOOOOOO

Oh man switching from rand caracarn declaration to siuan stilled in the hall……

ELAIDA’S REGALIA SO GOOD

Awwww love declaration moment

MOIRAINE V LANFEAR TIME

I love the way they’re splitting these three scenes……

fuck I’m so tense

Oh my god fuck

BONES BREAK IN THE SUBTITLE

holy shit is Moiraine dead

No mo way

LAN

HEAH VJBSDKVDSBVLSDVNDSLVBSDLVBDSLSRGLDSBVLDSVBSLDVSD

RAAAAAAAAAND

lan down for the count

Egwene freaking out watching rand channel

Rain time!!!!!!!!

This siuan speech….

Oh dear Moiraine has been stabbed

Oh shit they are both dying aren’t they

Jesus fucking Christ

Beheaded holy shit

GOT HER ASS

damn she traveled away

Maybe sophie had more scheduling issues and wanted to call it there

Someone heal Moiraine please

Is Moiraine just, not getting doorway’d at all??? If she already defeated Lanfear……..

Please give me asmodean please please please

Egwene girlie why you so stressed about rand channeling why won’t you mention what you saw in the arches

NO ASMODEAN??????? NO ASMODEAN!!!!!!!

[scarabsinthestardust]

Right on Time // Ch. 6

MASTERLIST

word count: 3900+

WARNINGS: language; a little bit of toxic ex; physical injury; blood; stitches; hospitals; someone in excited delirium; and idk, adventures in babysitting a chaotic child

Four months passed without so much as a peep from Josh’s ex-boyfriend. Josh said it was normal for the guy to occasionally disappear, just to resurface when he got tired of being alone. But I started to feel optimistic, hoping that maybe he would stay gone and would no longer be a thorn in my side, but it was just wishful thinking.

The incessant buzzing of Josh’s phone woke me up first. I nudged him awake. He grumbled, not happy with his sleep being disturbed, and reached for his phone on the nightstand. He squinted at the sudden light while his eyes adjusted. I watched silently, wondering if it was one of his brothers, but he sighed and pressed ‘Decline.’

“Josh? Is that him?” I sat up and stretched to ease the stiffness in my neck and his phone started ringing again. “Do you want me to answer it?” Oh, the things I’d like to say to this guy.

Josh shook his head and declined the call again. “No, that’ll just piss him off.” On the third attempt, Josh groaned and answered, “What do you want?”

I wondered if part of the reason this guy kept at it was because he knew Josh would eventually cave and take the call, but then I remembered the five different blocked numbers. It really wasn’t for lack of trying on my boyfriend’s part, I guess, his ex just happened to be annoyingly and disgustingly persistent. I couldn’t really hear what Finn was saying, but Josh bowed his head, his hand covering his eyes, as he listened to what was most likely the drunken rambling of the man on the other end of the line.

“Where are you?” I gritted my teeth and rolled my eyes. Was he seriously going to get out of bed in the middle of the night and drive to wherever this guy was, to get him out of whatever trouble he’d gotten himself into, with me sitting right next to him? I mean, he wasn’t hiding anything, at least, and maybe I could talk him into letting me tag along. But I let out of a sigh of relief when he said, “The best I can do right now is get you an Uber.” I heard the volume of Finn’s voice rise, presumably in argument. “Finn, I’m not driving two hours to Hartford at three in the fucking morning! I can get you an Uber to take you home, or you… you can figure it out on your own.”

I was so proud of him for having the guts to say no, but I could tell by just the sound of his voice that it hurt him to make that choice. He wanted to go to him, I’m sure, but the desire (or maybe unspoken pressure from me) to stay was stronger. He stayed steady, unmoving in his decision and refusing to give into Finn’s protests.

He hung up the phone and opened the rideshare app. I waited until he’d ordered the ride and texted the information to Finn, then placed a hand on his thigh. “You alright?”

He sighed, tossed his phone back on the nightstand, and rubbed his eyes. “Yeah. I’m sorry. I can only ignore the calls for so long. I can’t—”

“It’s okay. And thank you. Thank you for staying, and telling him no.”

He gave me a tiny half-smile, one that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “It’s hard. It’s hard not to worry about him still. I can’t help but think something’s gonna happen to him. Or he’ll get back in the car and get someone else killed.”

“Don’t do that to yourself. You’ve done what you can for him. The rest is on him.”

He wasn’t really comforted but he didn’t say anything else on the matter. He laid back down and I followed, draping my arm overtop of him and rubbing circles with my thumb into the soft skin of his stomach. I just listened to his breaths and focused on the feeling of him next to me until I eventually fell back asleep. I’m not sure he ever did that night.

And short of the confirmation from Uber that they’d picked up and dropped off their passenger, we didn’t hear back from him for a while. I started to get complacent again.

~

As much as I tell people that my job really isn’t all that exciting, that we mostly just handle elderly people that have fallen and complaints of chest pain, it does occasionally get a little crazier than that. We sometimes respond out to the less common calls, or ones that are great conversation pieces (seriously, no one believes you when you say you ‘fell’ and ‘accidentally’ got a shampoo bottle stuck up your ass), but every once in a while, things take a different turn. It even runs the risk of things getting violent, to the point where law enforcement is forced to get involved. A few years ago, while transporting a kid with a severe head injury from a fall, the father decided the best course of action was to start fighting with us. We had to pull over, thus delaying getting the kid to the hospital, to let the cops haul the guy away. I took a pretty good right hook to the face that day.

So, needless to say, getting hurt on the job, unfortunately, comes with the territory.

We were dispatched to a patient with an ‘altered mental status,’ which, by itself, is a vague medical complaint that doesn’t tell us much. Turns out, the guy was in a state of excited delirium. It can be caused by any number of things, such as mental illness, drug use, or head trauma. It typically makes them extremely agitated, aggressive, and sometimes inhumanly strong. People suffering from excited delirium also tend to sweat profusely, which makes wrestling with them about as easy as trying to grab hold of a greased-up pig. Someone in that state wouldn’t have much control over their actions, and they certainly aren’t worried about any potential consequences, which makes them especially dangerous.

We were under the impression that our patient was finally starting to calm down, and we were able to get him in the back of the ambulance. But as I was working on checking his vitals, his eyes grew wide, his pupils blown, and with no warning, he lurched forward and clamped his teeth into my hand.

I tried to yank my hand away, but his jaw was locked into place. I’m not sure how I didn’t rip his teeth out as hard as I tried to get free. It took four cops and Lucy armed with a decent dose of sedatives to finally get him off me and restrained, but my hand was fucked. The skin and muscle below the thumb on my right hand was torn, and I could’ve sworn I could see some of the exposed tendon under all the blood. How in the hell is the human jaw strong enough to do that much damage?

I cursed up a storm as I packed the wound to staunch the bleeding, and Lucy hopped behind the wheel and booked it to the hospital. One of the cops rode with us, in case our patient decided he was ready for round two, but we thankfully made it with no further incidents. He got admitted to the hospital’s behavioral unit and I was sent back to see a doctor and assess the damage.

Eighteen stitches later, they cut me loose with prescriptions for antibiotics and painkillers. Lucy was still in the waiting room, along with our captain. He greeted me with a nod and asked me how bad it was.

I gave him the rundown and shrugged. “I’ll survive.”

“They’re doing bloodwork on your guy, checking him for anything he could have transmitted. And you’ll have to get tested, too, just to be safe.”

“Yeah, I figured,” I sighed. That was always the scary part, being exposed to a virus or some other incurable disease. But as it turned out, I didn’t have anything to worry about on that front.

“The police want to know if we’re pressing charges,” he said.

I shook my head. “No, there’d be no point. He’s in a state of excited delirium. He most likely had no idea what he was doing.”

My captain nodded. “Alright, I’ll pass it along. Anyways, I want you to take three weeks, and we’ll touch base then, once you get your medical clearance.”

I groaned in annoyance. Three weeks was a long time to not be able to work, but I supposed I should be grateful it wasn’t worse.

I had texted Josh just to let him know I was heading home, with a vague explanation that I’d gotten hurt, but I assured him it was a minor injury and he didn’t need to worry. I should have known better.

He showed up at my door later with some take-out. Concern painted his features when he got a look at my hand, wrapped up in bandages. “Okay, so what happened?”

“Uh, I got bit.”

He grimaced. He seemed to already have an idea of where this was going. “Please tell me it was by a dog.”

“I would have preferred that,” I admitted, flexing my hand and wincing at the pain. “But it could have been worse. I have stitches but it’s not bad enough for me to need surgery or anything. I’m honestly more irritated that I have to take three weeks off work. At least.”

He snickered. “Of course you are.” He leaned in to kiss me, his hand coming to the back of my head. I loved how he had to lift himself slightly onto his tiptoes to reach. “Take your time off, and let me take care of you for a bit, ‘kay?”

How could I say no to that? I kissed him again, deeper this time, savoring his sweetness. “Okay,” I said as I pulled away. “I’m all yours.”

I thought I would be going stir-crazy at home, but the extra uninterrupted time with Josh made it feel more like a vacation. He insisted on making sure I was taking it easy, and I had no complaints. My favorite place to be was tangled up with him, skin to skin, planting my lips along his heated flesh as we came down from our highs. He’d smile blissfully, his eyes closed, and run his hands along my shoulders and down my back, exploring anywhere he could reach. His little sighs of lingering pleasure would be the only sounds I could hear, the feel of him wrapped around me the only thing that really mattered.

~

My lovely sister had every intention of taking advantage of my injury and time off work to utilize me for babysitting. She and her husband had planned a two-day getaway and decided I was babysitting Maddie. Alex didn’t give me much of a chance to say no, but I doubt I would have declined the chance to spend time with my niece anyways. And Josh was more than happy to act as my backup.

Maddie squealed when she learned she’d get to antagonize my boyfriend for two whole days. She’d immediately grabbed his hand and started dragging him through the living room, rattling off all the things she wanted to do this weekend. She told him about all the fun things she’d done at school, including raving about the new class pet turtle.

“Call me if you have any problems.”

“We’ll be fine, I promise,” I assured Alex. “I won’t let them get into too much trouble.” I glanced over at Josh, and Maddie was already pulling out arts and crafts supplies from her backpack.

“Don’t let her fool you,” Alex told Josh. “She’s a menace and will swap your coffee creamer for shampoo the second you turn your back.”

“Maybe that’s why they get along so well,” I joked. “But if we’re being honest, she gets it from her mother.”

“I resent that,” she replied.

“Love you, too, big sister. Now go. You probably want to get on the road before traffic gets too bad.”

“We won’t be that far away, so if you need us to—”

“Go. Have fun, let loose, get plastered, whatever you need to do to stop stressing and enjoy your vacation.”

“Okay, yeah,” she sighed in agreement. She expressed one last ‘I love you’ to Maddie, who wasn’t paying much attention to her at this point, and left, leaving me to fend for myself against Maddie and Josh, who she was definitely already conspiring to commit crimes with.

The first day wasn’t too eventful, but Maddie made sure Josh’s fingernails were as sparkly and purple as she could make them. He didn’t seem to mind. And later on, she managed to get a leopard print headband on him to hold his hair back so she could “teach” him the ways of a proper skincare routine. He didn’t need the pointers, but he let her have her moment. When Josh decided he needed a break (he held out as long as he could), we let Maddie pick a movie and added some extra distraction with a coloring book and colored pencils. But not even 20 minutes later, she was pulling some colored Sharpies from her bag – who the hell gives a 6-year-old access to permanent markers? She decided that the coloring book was boring and she threw herself on the couch next to me, opting instead to color in the spots of my tattoo sleeve that were black and white. It was something she’d done before, and I had no qualms with it, but we did have to have another important conversation about consent, and making sure to ask permission before drawing on someone’s skin.

Josh had just snickered. “Your turn to be the guinea pig.”

On Sunday, we agreed to take her to Nashville Zoo. We had an alarm set to get up early, but we were woken up before it went off to the sound of something falling and hitting the floor from the kitchen. “What the fuck,” I swore as I jumped out of bed and rushed to find out what was happening, Josh right behind me.

Probably every single bowl, spoon, and mixing utensil I owned was scattered around the kitchen. All of the cabinets were open, and there was what I assumed was pancake batter everywhere. It was all over the counters, the sink, the floor (along with the bowl that had been dropped), and even on the fridge. Maddie was standing on the counter in her socks, digging through the spice cabinet. I was having waking nightmares about her falling and busting her head open, so the first step was to get her back on the ground. I grabbed her, ignoring the pain in my hand, and carefully put her down until her feet were safely back on the floor, and she was no longer at risk of falling far enough to possibly kill her.

“What the fuck,” I repeated as I examined the chaos.

“Woah, how the hell’d ya get it on the ceiling?” Josh asked.

“Maddie, what did you do? Where were you thinking?!”

“Pancakes,” she said matter-of-factly.

“You could have gotten hurt.”

“Mama said I can’t use the oven or the stove or the ‘knifes’ and I didn’t use the oven or the stove or the ‘knifes.’

She had a point, but the issue still stood. “You still have to ask before you do stuff like this! And I know you know better than to climb up on the counter!”

Her eyes started to well up with tears. “I’m in trouble?”

“Yes!” I answered without hesitation.

“Are we still going to the zoo?”

I was never good at the ‘discipline’ part of childcare, and I hated to tell Maddie ‘no,’ but I was sure it was going to take all day to clean up the mess she made. “Right now, probably not.”

Her tears morphed into full blown wailing, snot running from her nose as she cried. “I just – wanted – to cook – you – ‘brefass,’” she sputtered between sobs.

And suddenly, I felt like the biggest piece of shit in the world. “Fu—” I scrubbed my hands over my face and groaned. “Just… go sit in the living room for a little bit. We’ll talk about it in a minute.” I was well aware that she had the batter on her, too, and would likely get some on the couch, but we could clean that up later. She followed my direction, and her cries could still be heard from the living room.

Josh sidled up next to me. I grabbed the metal mixing bowl off the floor and one from the counter, both with almost no batter in them, and tossed them into the sink to get them out of the way. The sudden loud noise made Josh flinch.

“Shit. I’m sorry.”

“S’ okay,” he replied, offering me a soft smile.

“I feel like an asshole.”

“You’re frustrated. I get it. But you’re not an asshole.” My hand ached and he noticed how I held it close to me. “You hurt your hand when you picked her up, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, I think so. It’s fine, though,” I shrugged. There was no sign of blood seeping through the bandages, so it was safe to say I hadn’t torn any stitches.

“Way I see it,” he started, speaking quietly so Maddie couldn’t hear, “her heart’s in the right place. She was trying to do something nice, she just happened to… completely obliterate the kitchen in the process.”

I looked up just in time to see a glob of batter fall onto the floor. “I still don’t understand how she got it on the ceiling.”

“Yeah, beats me,” Josh laughed. “Point is, she feels bad. And she was really looking forward to the zoo.”

“I know, but—”

“Between the three of us, I think we can get it cleaned up in here and still have time to hit the zoo. And she doesn’t get off scot-free if she has to help us clean.”

I studied him and thought about his words, while he watched me with those big, pretty, brown eyes, and I know he’s right. “Okay,” I sighed. “Guess we’d better get started, then.”

His hand came up to my shoulder and he kissed my cheek. “We got this. May I?” He gestured toward the living room. I gave him the ‘go ahead’ and he called Maddie into the kitchen, still sniffling and wiping tears from her face. “Alright, punk, here’s what’s gonna happen.” He handed her a roll of paper towels and gave her the rundown of the plan, and with renewed vigor, she set to wiping off the fridge and lower cabinets.

Josh was right, because of course he was, and we were able to get the mess under control before too late. “Okay, Maddie, go get dressed. We’ll leave in a bit.”

“Okay!”

“And put on your sneakers! I’ll help you tie them, but I am not carrying you around if your feet start hurting ‘cause you wore the wrong shoes!”

“You totally would, though,” Josh smirked. “You’re wrapped around that girl’s finger.”

I snorted a laugh. “Says you. You’d rob a bank if she asked you to.”

“Pft. I’d rob a bank for fun.”

“Of course you would.” I rolled my eyes as he grinned and sauntered away to get changed.

~

“My takeaway is that she has an unlimited supply of energy.”

“I think it must be all the espresso my sister drank when she was pregnant,” I told Josh. “Maddie’s bloodstream is just straight caffeine.”

We’d been at the zoo for a few hours, and Maddie was still running and bouncing like she’d taken a dose of speed. We made sure she had a chance to do all the interactive stuff, such as feeding the giraffes and stingrays, and we were on our way to a ‘Meet the Penguins’ experience. Maddie was starstruck by every animal she saw, even random crows and ducks scattered throughout the park.

“Has she never been to the zoo before?” Josh asked me curiously.

“Only once, a long time ago, so she probably doesn’t even remember it. Alex doesn’t really… do animals. Even behind glass they freak her out, and she’s terrified of monkeys. So, she tends to avoid places like this.”

“Monkeys? Really? That’s such a weird thing to be afraid of.”

“Uh, I disagree. Monkeys rip people’s faces off, so I think it’s a pretty valid fear. I worked a call once for a monkey attack. You’d be surprised how much damage even the small ones can do.”

Josh stared at me for a second before shaking his head. “Okay, mister ‘my job really isn’t all that exciting.’”

“I…” Okay, he had a point. “Touchè.” I grabbed his hand with my uninjured one as we walked, keeping a close eye on Maddie in front of us, of course.

After a beat, he spoke again, but the tone of his voice had changed. “Can I ask… do you… want kids? Of your own, I mean.”

I squeezed his hand. “Yeah, someday. When the time’s right.”

He smiled. “Just curious.” It was no secret whatsoever that Josh definitely wanted children one day, and I just knew he would make an amazing father. And while we obviously weren’t anywhere close to being there yet, when I thought about starting a family with him, it just felt… right.

~

It wasn’t until we got back home and well after dark that Maddie finally started to wind down. I tried to talk her into going to bed, but we both knew her mom would be by to pick her up soon, so I didn’t push it. I put on a movie for her and she curled up under a blanket right next to Josh, gripped onto his arm like a koala bear. She was asleep within ten minutes.

“Are you telling Alex about the kitchen adventure this morning?” He whispered, careful not to wake her up.

“I should,” I said, sighing. “But I probably won’t.”

Josh grinned. “Wrapped. Around. Her. Finger.”

I let out a quiet laugh and shook my head. “Oh, shut up.”

When Alex eventually showed up, she sent me a text to let me know she’d arrived, and I met her at the door. I put a finger to my lips to tell her to be quiet and led her into the living room. There’d been some movement, and Josh was now lying down precariously on the edge of the couch, his legs and one arm hanging off. Maddie had scooted up so she was tucked between him and the back of the couch, her head on his shoulder. I can’t imagine it was comfortable for either one of them, but they were both fast asleep.

Alex observed them for a moment, a sweet smile on her face. “She likes him a lot,” she whispered, then, “Cairo?”

“Hm?”

“You better marry that boy.”

I just stared at her as she walked over to start the daunting task of waking up her daughter. And it was the second time that day that the thought of marrying Josh crossed my mind. It certainly wouldn’t be the last, either.

///

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[twilightofthesandwiches]

Okay, the thing is that I’ve seen some people speculate about the Winter King’s backstory and past assuming, like, that he’s always kinda been Like That. Like, that this version of Simon Petrikov has always been an evil heartless bastard or at least just a little less caring and loving than Mainworld Simon and that’s what led him down the path of the Winter King. 

But speaking personally… I think this is a less compelling story as it relates to Simon’s character arc. I think it’s a lot more interesting if the Winter King was indeed ‘once just like’ Mainverse Simon.

That he used to be that selfless, dedicated and loving man - and he still managed to stoop this low. I mean, well, Simon seems to have come to the conclusion that this version of him was just ‘messed up’

and that was mostly part of a trend of him in these last two episodes just kinda going

You know, like, I don’t think that the lesson he should’ve learned from his adventures in Winterworld is just “wow, that one specific alternative version of me sure does suck!”. Farmworld, via its version of Finn, was a reminder for Simon of just how much of a traumatic experience the Curse of the Magic Crown is. Winterworld should’ve reminded him of the torment and indignity he was trapped in and how often he was a danger to himself and others 

And of the truly fucked-up and terrible things he was capable of doing due to that torment and desperation of the Curse.

The Winter King is like a Whole New Exciting Way for Simon to lose his identity due to the Magic Crown, preserving his mind and memory by destroying the love and dedication and care that the Magic Crown never quite managed to fully burn away - his actual ‘immutable essence’. And this doesn’t work if the Winter King was always just Intrinsically a significantly different and worse person than Mainworld Simon, y’know?

And remember, we know the Winter King was in full on Ice King mode when he ‘conquered the crown’ (AKA cast that terrible spell to condemn Princess Bubblegum to the same terrible fate he’s been suffering). 

And Mainverse Ice King was absolutely capable of trying to perform some fucked-up mind-altering spells of his own. 

The only thing is that he was never quite that successful.

The main thing I am still unsure of with my favored reading/interpretation of how Winterworld Simon became the Winter King is…. There’s like, two different mutually-exclusive readings of what happened after the Curse was cast on Peebles and Simon regained his lucidity that are both very appealing to me from a thematic perspective. And I’m really not sure which one I like best.

Because the real issue was never ‘would Ice King be willing to cast such a horrible immoral spell?’, especially as one could easily imagine that whatever lucidity would allow Ice King to understand how his Crown is harming him and devise such a complicated spell would not necessarily extend to enough lucidity to fully understand the consequences of his actions. The issue is Winterworld Simon Petrikov, having regained his clarity of mind, choosing to maintain this spell for a hundred years. There's a reason why that's the thing Mainverse Simon fixated on when he figured out what's going on.

My first thought (and that’s something I went into more detail in a previous post) was this: Ice King’s madness was never wholly separated from Simon’s personality. Like, yeah, it was the Crown’s Magic that drove him so Mad and Sad - but it was also the trauma of losing Betty and surviving through the Mushroom War and feeling forced to abandon his beloved Marceline. 

And that Madness was based on Simon’s psyche. Ice King’s loneliness and romantic obsession and Princess-nappings are all based on how much he loves and misses Betty

And now, Princess Bubblegum has been forced into a mirrored recreation of them. 

The Candy Queen isn’t suffering from just the Magic Crown’s madness in general - but specifically from how it was shaped by Simon’s heart. And since you can’t actually separate this manifestation of Ice King’s Madness from Simon’s love for Betty - the Winter King ridding himself of one also rid himself of the other. 

And since so much of Ice King’s Madness was interwoven into Simon’s psyche and especially his love and his kindness - throwing away all of this Madness into someone else also decimated these aspects of his personality. Princess Bubblegum already paid the ultimate price for Winterworld Simon’s sanity - but in a way he also paid a grave cost as well; becoming an unrecognizably different person he would previously find morally disgusting - even morso than Ice King.

Because the lines between Simon Petrikov and Ice King are always going to be a bit blurry and messy, and because Simon can’t probably live a life totally free of his Madness and Sadness but he’s gonna have to accept it for an actual mostly happy and sane life as someone who is recognizably Simon Petrikov. 

Buuuut… that still basically means that casting of that Curse just kinda irrevocably transformed him into a Heartless Bastard. And that’s maybe not as compelling as if this change from kind and dorky Simon Petrikov into Evil Brian David Gilbert was done of his own free will

Hundreds of years of the Magic Crown eating away at his sanity and memories couldn’t truly destroy Simon Petrikov’s ‘immutable essence’. He still missed Betty more than anything even as this longing was twisted into something horrible, and still loved Marceline like a daughter even if he didn’t understand it. The one thing that could truly destroy this love that is so core to Simon’s being is him choosing to become selfish and cruel and uncaring. 

And since he was in Full Ice King Mode when he cast the spell… I dunno if I can actually call it a fully-conscious act of cruelty. Deeply fucked up? Yes. But it’s hard to say how much Winterworld Ice King actually understood what he was doing. And while I think it’s much more emotionally compelling if the Winter King started from the same place as our beloved Mainworld Simon. The only difference can’t just be the pure luck that Mainworld Ice King was just never lucid or focused enough to successfully cast a spell that would transform him into an equally terrible person. 

For this angle to work, this decision to continue doing the bad thing has to come from a lucid Simon who is still kinda recognizably Simon and still chose to continue perpetuating the Curse Ice King cast on Princess Bubblegum.

This might seem unthinkable, especially considering how obviously disgusted Mainworld Simon was at the Winter King’s actions. But you have to consider just how much Winterworld Simon would be desperate to not be Ice King again, Mainworld Simon was once willing to die then live the rest of eternity as IK. The fact that he’s so willing to throw away his sanity again now is so worrying because it shows just how badly he’s being doing - because at first, Simon was fighting so badly to avoid diving back into this pit of madness. And that Spell must've seen like the only chance he was gonna get.

And, yes, Simon Petrikov is a character full of kindness and love and selflessness - but that never meant he was the sort of Cinnamon Roll incapable of ever hurting anymore and especially not when he’s desperate or lashing out. That’s kinda the fallacy Simon himself fell into when he had that total identity crisis in the second episode. He just couldn’t find a way to join his previous identity as the patient and fatherly man who took care of Marceline 

With the fact he made a little girl cry. 

But yes, both we the audience and Simon himself have to face the fact that despite possessing such strong fatherly instinct and a desire to help children - Simon can also lash out in his trauma in a very cruel manner that goes against all of his own values.

And by the end of the fourth episode, he was tempted to let himself die - even though that will also utterly destroy a whole universe of sapient beings living in his head. It was brief thanks to Fionna knocking some sense into him and obviously the Literal Suicidal Depression involved was also seriously clouding his judgement. But that is still Simon nearly dooming a whole realm of other people  because he was feeling absolutely desperate.

Not to mention him kidnapping someone and forcing him into a terrible experiment for the sake of trying to summon GOLBetty.

A desperate attempt to reconnect with his lost love (and in a way, a missing part of his identity as Betty Grof’s other half). Which I mean, yeah, ‘it’s just Choose Goose’, but also last time GOLB was summoned it nearly fucked up all of Ooo and the only thing GOLBetty could do about that is get herself as far away from Simon as she can. And now Simon is gonna try and summon his Eldritch GF again in the middle of a major population center.  

And of course, Winterworld Simon and Mainworld Simon are never going to be fully exactly the same person because ‘Simon Petrikov’ is not some immutable unchanging concept and we know that they’ve had different experiences. It was really so sweet to see Mainverse Simon pay forwards the kindness he’s gotten from his loved ones when he was stuck as the Ice King towards the Candy Queen

But it also reminded me that the Winter King himself never got that sort of kindness and grace in the first place. The Curse was cast one hundred years ago. Back then, Marceline was still avoiding him because she couldn’t stand to see what he had become, Finn and Jake were not his friends on account of neither of them being born yet and… they also directly or indirectly helped him get his entire rest circle of friends.

So Mainworld Simon emerged from an Ice King who was not absolutely free from misery and loneliness… but has also experienced happiness and friends both from people who just loved him for who he was at the moment 

And grace and kindness from those concerned for his condition and honestly doing their best to make sure he’s doing his best in his current state and trying to bring out whatever of Simon was left in him. 

While Winterworld Simon emerged from Ice King at his worst and his most miserable. 

And while the Winter King’s callousness about Betty would kinda always be a worrying testament to how much Simonness he has lost - it is extra disturbing for the viewers and Mainworld Simon because they have seen Betty sacrifice her entire being for his sake. That would just reinforce his own love and dedication to her in his mind… not always in the healthiest of ways.

But the Winter King has experienced nothing of that sort. He was not freed in a self-sacrifice fueled by love that literally defied time itself. Wintdrworld Simon only regained his lucidity because of a deeply fucked up and selfish action he has taken as the Ice King. And as far as he knew, that was his only choice except death or the eternal despair of being the Ice King.

And so maybe Winterworld Simon managed to convince himself that he can stay like this for just one day. Just one day of enjoying both lucidity and Magic and then he’s going to undo it because obviously he knows that it’s terrible what the Ice King did! I mean, yeah, Princess Bubblegum and the rest of the Candy Kingdom are suffering but they’re also going to suffer when the Ice King comes back so it’s really a lateral move for them. For just one day!

And then by the next day, Winterworld Simon finds one more excuse why he can wait until tomorrow to bring everything back to normal. And day by day it becomes just a little bit easier to justify perpetuating something so terrible. Day by day he gives up a little bit more of his morals and his selflessness and his love. Until he finally finds out that he just doesn’t care anymore about being a selfish heartless bastard.

The same way the Magic Crown took his sanity and identity gradually - he’s now so desperate to cling to them that he chose to tear away at what was once the core most parts of himself

Until he became just as unrecognizable.

Both of these ideas are really compelling to me but they’re also kinda opposite. Maybe there’s a way to balance them both in a way that preserves what makes them so interesting for Simon’s character in the first place??

[kreads95]

Untitled Bellamy x Reader

I hope you all enjoy this! It's been a while since I've written fanfic, so bear with me. I'm hoping to make this into a few parts at least, but we will see. It's still untitled because I haven't thought of a title yet. So if you have any suggestions, feel free to let me know.

You were part of the 100 that were sent down to Earth to see if it was survivable. 

You were a quiet person, not one that spoke up often, but you helped anywhere you could. A lot of times, you were helping Clarke with the injured. 

That was how you ended up in the group on Mount Weather. 

You were in the drop ship when the grounders attacked, but you didn’t see Bellamy anywhere in the drop ship. That’s when you heard Clarke yelling, and you realized that Bellamy was outside still. You started screaming, and that’s when someone grabbed you so you didn’t run out of the drop ship. The door started closing and you started sobbing. You fell to your knees, crying out. Then you heard a commotion as someone jumped in before the door finally closed. The next thing you remember is waking up in a white room, with white clothes on and people in hazmat suits walking around. 

They finally let you out of the room and took you to this big dining hall where you found Jasper there. 

“Jasper!” you yell and run to him to hug him. 

“Hey, Y/N!” he hugs you back. “

What is going on? Where are we?” you ask him. 

“Mount Weather!” Jasper says excitedly. Something seemed a little off when he answered you but you couldn’t figure it out. 

“Who else is here? Any of the others?” you ask desperately hoping that Jasper has seen Bellamy. You don’t know how long it’s been or if Bellamy is even alive, but you have hope that he is. 

“Just a few, Miller and Harper.” He says as he grabs a piece of cake and starts eating it. 

“Okay,” you feel defeated. You start looking around at everyone else, not recognizing anyone else. All the sudden you hear a commotion at the front of the room and you look and see Clarke. 

“Y/N! Jasper!” she says excitedly and runs over to you guys. You stand up and hug her. 

“Have you seen Bellamy?” you ask her, your eyes starting to tear up. 

“No, I haven’t, I just got out of my room,” she gives you a sympathetic look. “We will find him, I’m sure he’s alive,” she gives your arm a squeeze. 

“Yeah” you whisper, trying not to let the tears out. 

“This is amazing!” Jasper says as he stuffs his face with more cake. “You want some?” he asks you and Clarke. 

You both shake your head no and give each other a knowing look. Something strange is going on here, but you don’t know what. 

“I’m going to see if I can figure out what’s going on,” Clarke says. “Keep an eye on Jasper.” She adds. 

You nod your head and sit down with Jasper. 

Later that evening you all are in the room together and Clarke finds you. 

“Finally,” you say, “did you figure anything out?” 

“Bellamy is not here, but I have to believe that he is still alive. But there’s something fishy going on here too. I’m working on figuring out what it is.” She says, knowing that you are concerned about finding Bellamy. 

The tears start up again. “I know I should have hope that he’s alive, but he didn’t make it to the drop ship on time. What if he got burned alive by the fire? Or the grounders could have taken him.” You can’t help but let all the bad thoughts in, you can’t lose Bellamy. You lost a lot of people in your life, you can’t lose him too. You won’t survive. 

“Y/N, I know it’s hard, but we have to believe that he’s still alive. He’s smart, he knows what he’s doing out there. He knows how to protect himself. Plus Finn is with him and Finn is smart too. They will both look after each other.” She grabs your hand and squeezes it. 

You take a deep breath, “You’re right, they are smart and can protect themselves, I’m sure they’re fine.” You have to convince yourself that otherwise you will go crazy thinking Bellamy didn’t make it. 

You go lay in your bed then and try not to think about Bellamy and Finn and where they are. You try to get some sleep that night, but you only get about 2 hours because it took you so long to fall asleep and then by the time you did it felt like the lights were coming on shortly after. 

You got up and went to eat breakfast with everyone else when Clarke pulled you aside. “Don’t eat any of the food, I think there’s something in it” she whispers to you. 

“Are you sure?” you ask. 

“Something’s not right and until I can find out I’m not touching that food.” She says. 

A few days later, you can’t find Clarke anywhere. You start freaking out and ask if anyone else has seen Clarke. Monty tells you he was just about to ask you if you had seen her. Jasper thinks she’s fine and isn’t worried about it. He has gotten so distracted since Maya started hanging out with him Finally you and Monty convince Jasper to ask about Clarke and when he does, they tell him that Clarke is in the psych ward. He doesn’t seem worried at all, but you and Monty know that something is up. 

You can’t help but worry about Bellamy and now Clarke too. You don’t know what is going to happen to any of you. 

To be continued…..