#been rotating this guy in my head around a lot lately

[mallywarez]

object oc guy ye

Codex (He/Him)

[smooth-perceval]

“Make the world go away”

Charles Leclerc x Fem!Reader

Summary: The reader is struggling after going public with Charles- reader has a breakdown when Charles returns home.

Warnings: Angst, Mentions of depression, reader hating herself a lot- a lot of body shaming, death threats, Charles being so sweet, a lot of tears, fluff, my bad writing.

Word count: 2,041

Music: Make the world go away- Duffy.

Key: Y/N (Your name)

A/N: I’ve been feeling a bit off lately- and there was no other song to describe how I felt than the one I have tagged- it’s a cover by Duffy, original singer Timi Yuro if I’m correct <3

THIS WAS RUSHED I HAVE A VERRYYYY GOOD CHARLES SERIES THAT IM STARTING AND IM EGER TO GET THE FORST CHAPTER OUT BY TOMROROW EVENING!!

Enjoy!!

Charles and me went public roughly 3 weeks ago- not officially public, but I mean it’s official in the sense I had been spotted with him during race weekend- and not exactly in a friendly manner, wrapped up with one and another at the back of his garage- stealing sweet kisses and adoring smiles.

I’ve attended races before- been in exact same spot before yet this time we got caught, and well-

My, oh my you should’ve seen the headlines…

-Charles newest trophy,

-Leclerc at it again,

-Leclerc’s mysterious girl.

-The Ferrari driver and the other woman.

The other woman? It’s been a year since his ex and him announced their split- somehow I’m the other woman? I mean give me a break…

Seriously, give me a break- the hate I’ve received for liking a boy was just unreal. Charles was a saint in their eyes- but me? Oh I was the wicked witch of the west, I somehow bewitched this boy into wanting me- it was all my fault!

Overtime the hate as always gets too much, and now I find myself every night finding a new flaw on my once perfect body. A new feature on me I didn’t realise was so disgusting until that one user online commented about it.

I found myself stuck in rotation infront of a mirror I used to once love admiring myself in. The same old mirror that now shows a broken girl, struggling to breathe like I was drowning in a pool of hatred. The world weighing me down sitting like devils on my shoulders, always reminding me that I am not good enough for the world.

Not ever good enough for Charles.

And just like a routine I was stuck in crying myself to sleep every night and ensure Charles that I was fine, “I’m just tired” I was tired truthfully, I was tired of it all, I couldn’t take it anymore- I hated myself for not loving me more, I hated me for not loving Charles more, I hated me for not being perfect for him. I hate me.

I finally urged myself to get in the shower tonight. Not only the fact I needed one- but because Charles was soon to arrive home, and I had to wash off every piece of evidence that I’ve been feeling so lost and alone.

As the night rolled on more, I laid in bed- Charles robe tied tightly around my body hiding the matching black underwear set, hair still wrapped up in a towel. The mirrors were avoided- I knew for a fact I looked terrible, but couldn’t bring myself to confirm it. My eyes were glued to the time on my phone, expecting the guy I need is such desperate times to walk through the door.

Another 10 more minutes and his back to being mine. Sighing to myself I rolled my head to the side the towel coming loose and sprawling across the bed, finally catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and like a trance I found myself sliding off the bed and over to the exact mirror, watching myself like I was hunting me down. The girl in the mirror wasn’t getting away again, she had to be judged.

My damp hair dripped behind me leaving a little trail from the bed to the mirror, some wet strands sticking to my face. With a huff I brushed them back before untying the robe, revealing my semi-naked self, my bra strap sliding down with the robe- and like my hair I brushed it back up with a defeated sigh.

Moving side to side, I observed every crease in my body, every mole, every dent, every scratch. I observed everything- stepping away from the mirror I took in my entire body, it was horrid. What did Charles see in me?

The girls he could have and he chose me- I feel sick looking at myself, I don’t know how he must feel… I hate me. I hate that nobody thinks I’m perfect for him, perfect for their Charles.

Lip quivering, and my cheeks slowly getting wetter by the moment, I slid my hands over my stomach and hips- my skin feeling rough, biting my hands at every movement.

Eating me alive- and with shallow breaths I glanced away from the mirror trying to regain some control over myself. The shallow breaths soon eased, and I finally felt like I could breathe again.

Like I wasn’t suffocating anymore, or that the room wasn’t getting smaller and as soon as I could breathe I looked back at myself once again.

“mon chéri-” (my darling)

Spinning around on the spot- caught in the act I stared at a very confused Charles.

“What are you doing?” A little smile on his face as he stepped in the room, forgetting his suitcase and bags behind him.

“I didn’t hear the door go-” swallowing the lump in my throat I quickly crouch down scrambling to grab Charles robe from the floor.

Charles had moved further into the room crouching down to my height. “And even so you still haven’t welcomed me home.” His smile grew even more teasing as he placed his knee onto the robe holding it down.

“Charles move over-” a fake laugh left me as I tugged away at the robe, more self conscious by the second.

“Where’s my kiss?”

“Two seconds let me just cover up-”

“Do I have to kiss you hm?” Raising his eyebrows he brushed my damp hair over my shoulder.

“Charles move.” Looking up at him with a glare, I pulled hardener at the fabric underneath his knee.

Now furrowing his eyebrows, he lifted his knee watching me, like a lion stalking his prey, eyes glued to me just like I was not long ago in the mirror.

Quickly scrambling away, I pulled the robe over me quickly tying it even more tighter around my waist, abruptly standing up.

“Sorry… I didn’t meant to raise my voice.” Chewing my lip anxiously, looking down at Charles, still knelt on one knee, on the floor beneath me.

“What was that all about?”

“What? Me raising my voice?”

Shaking his head, he now knelt on both knees raising himself up a little, his head at waist line as he looked up at me.

“You practically begged for this robe.”

His face showed no emotion. Truthfully he looked like he was still piecing together what just happened. “I was just getting cold that’s all- come stand up so I can welcome you home-” rubbing my hands through his hair, I slid my hands to either side of his face.

And like in a trance guided him to his feet, him now standing tall above me.

“Welcome home” leaning up onto my tip toes I kissed his lips softly.

Charles lips didn’t move against mine, they was stiff. He was now stiff.

“You’ve been crying.” Closing my eyes, I pulled away from him stepping back.

“No I haven’t long showered Charles.”

“I know what this is.” Nodding his head with surety he stepped closer. Guiding his hands to my hips and pulling me in, both of us now inches apart.

“Take it off.” His hands now found the strings of the robe pulling them loose.

“Charles-”

“I’m not asking Y/N.” With tired eyes, they silently begged me to re-undress. Mine? They filled with tears once again, lip trembling as I tired to hold it all back.

“I’m so sorry Charles…” looking down at his hands watching him intently, them now brushing the robe back off my shoulders and back onto the ground, kicking it aside.

Gulping to myself Charles now moved, looking up quickly wondering where he had gone, I then felt his presence behind me. “Look at you.” He brushed my hair over the other shoulder, now resting his head on the bare one, hands now resting on my hips again.

“Look at you mon chéri.” (My darling)

“I am looking at me…” sighing I tilt my head slightly, the tears making their way down and dripping off my chin.

“Why you crying?” His hand reached around wiping both cheeks and cupping my jaw, bringing my head to tilt his way.

“Because-”

With a delicate kiss to my cheek, he then stared at me through the mirror.

“Use your words Y/N”

With another loud sigh, I finally gave in. Pushing my back closer into his chest, his arms in an instinct manner wrapped securely around me holding me tight.

“I’m not good enough for you Charles.”

“Who said so?”

“Everyone says so-”

“My maman thinks your perfect.” Smiling a little at me his hands started caressing my body.

“I think your perfect.” He placed a gentle kiss to the top of my spine and slowly trailed kisses down it.

“I just want them all to leave me alone…” looking up at the ceiling I bite my lip, to stop more tears, and to suppress any other emotions wanting to escape.

“Who?” While once again knelt on the floor he grabbed my waist softly twirling me on the spot.

“the whole world.” Subconsciously my hands now rested on his shoulders squeezing them tight.

“Make the world go away.”

Smiling sadly up at me, his head placed itself resting against my stomach, arms hugging my legs, like a child.

“Get it off of my shoulders.”

Wrapping my arms protectively around his head I bent slightly trying to lower myself to his level. He was quick to move, now throwing me over his shoulders and moving over to the bed, and ever so softly placing me down. Throwing the towel that was once wrapped around my head somewhere else in the room.

“ma jolie fille” (my pretty girl)

Charles started placing sweet kisses over every inch of my body, whispering sweet nothings between each kiss.

“Do you realise, how absolutely gorgeous you are?” Now hovering above me, one arm supporting him up, the other tracing small circles on my inner thigh. Clouding my thoughts.

“Do you realise, that no matter if you was a worm-” pausing he rolled his eyes with a smile, reciting when I asked him a few weeks ago if he would still be with me if I was a worm.

“You do realise I would still love you with my whole entire heart and soul?”

Leaning down his lips brushed mine, hand now stopped moving- but gripping onto my thigh kneading it slowly.

“I’m not good enough for you Charles…” breathing hitched, not for holding back tears- better yet holding back a moan, Charles had me wrapped around his finger always, and the way his making me forget the such hate I have had, and the emotions I have shed. Made me love him.

“You right.” Like a shot to the chest- I started to close up.

“You more than perfect for me.” Sighing a breath of relief, my arms wrapped around his neck pulling him a little closer.

“Je t'aime Y/N.” (I love you Y/N)

Once again my breathing hitched, and my heart skipped a beat.

“I love your smile, your eyes, your nose, your lips, your ears, your neck, your shoulders, your chest, your stomach, yours legs, your feet, even your toes. I love you.”

Eyes welling up I sighed in a bliss.

“I don’t think I can ever stop the hate mon chéri… I wish I could protect you from the world truthfully. But I make you a promise that for every day I’m breathing I promise to love your heart- and fill it with pure utter happiness and love. Whatever them people are saying are wrong, and even if you looked like your little worm, I will still love that caring heart of yours.” (My darling)

Leaning down to my chest, he kisses just between my breast so gently, like if he didn’t my heart would break.

“je t'aime aussi Charles.” (I love you too Charles) Finally with a genuine smile on my face I rest my head back comfortably into the cushions.

“Now let me show you how much I love you.” Biting down on the middle of my bra he pulled at it teasingly. Causing me to giggle.

“let me welcome you home mon beau garçon.” (My pretty boy)

A/N: Okyyy it was very rushed but like I said I have a Charles x Fem!Reader series coming outttt and I wanna let you all have the first chalter as soon as possible!!!

Masterlist

[yesimwriting]

MA'M I LOVE YOUR BEST FRIEND FELIX WRITINGS BUT MY JEALOUS AND SOFTY SHORT ASS CAN'T HANDLE IT 😭 IM HURTING MYSELF BUT IT HURTS SO GOOD, LIKE IF I WAS BEST FRIEND Y/N ID BE BAWLING MY EYES OUT AFTER SEEING HIM WITH ANOTHER GIRL LIKE- WHY IS ALL OF THIS SO CARDIGAN BY TS CODED-

a/n i love taylor and taylor related angst and i get the jealousy thing,, but i think the thing with bestfriend!felix is that he's so obvious about his priorities that by the time reader can register jealousy,, felix is already there

so here's a drabble

----

Going out tonight wasn't your idea. A week of long lectures and even longer homework had drained you. But Felix wanted to...and you...You wanted to be around Felix.

Maybe Farleigh's comments about you following Felix around like a puppy aren't as exaggerated as they feel when you're sober. Ugh. The thought of Farleigh being right gives that pinch of irritation something to latch onto.

"They have those drinks you like." The voice is clear despite the base of the music that you can still hear from right outside the club. You turn your head away from the group of stragglers hanging around the outdoor bar. "Had. I got the last one."

You grin at Felix, any lingering angst not exactly evaporating into the cool night air, but the shift is enough to make the smile feel unforced. "Lucky."

He's finally within arm's reach, a fact that he takes advantage of immediately. Felix's palm settles against your shoulder, his thumb dragging across your skin. "Extremely." There's a fondness there that chips away at what's left of your irritation. "Here." You take the glass from him. "Sam almost tackled another bar tender to get the last of the simple syrup."

Ironically, the sip that's halfway down your throat seems to lose any hints of sweetness as soon as the words come out of Felix's mouth. You've met Sam, and while you don't dislike her, you're not sure the neutrality is mutual.

It's a fact you don't dwell. Sam's a bottle blonde bar tender who looks like she was born to walk around in low cut tank tops and cut off shorts. Not that her being pretty matters, but there's an edge to her beauty that implies an effortless coolness that doesn't usually meld with who you are. It's no one's fault. You think those types of girls are charming and fun in a way that's somehow even bolder than the friends that you consider wild. It's just never been a mutual admiration.

And Sam's been hanging around Felix a lot lately, showing up at parties, staying later than anyone else besides you. They've gone home together a few times. Felix hasn't said too much about that, but that doesn't indicate anything. You guys don't talk about that kind of stuff. Even best friends as close as you two have boundaries.

Not that it matters if Felix is with someone like Sam. She seems fun and pretty and bold and--the total opposite of you.

That hits you like a thumb jabbing into a bruise. Since when is Felix's constantly rotating door of flings a sore point? When he pawns you off on Farleigh--even when he's not in the mood for you--so he can have a moment in the employee bathroom.

"Y'okay?"

You nod, "Yeah." Felix's eyebrows pinch together, a barely there implication of concern that's almost ignorable beneath the poor lighting. "Everything's just kind of hitting me a little."

He nods, "Do you need to sit?" Felix's hold on your shoulder tightens. "Is that why you came outside?"

"Uh--no." The response feels flat. "I mean--yeah, I wanted some air, but I don't feel sick or anything."

He watches you openly for what feels like its own eternity. You're not sure what he's looking for, but you must not pass the inspection because he frowns. "Okay." As if to validate Felix's attempt at letting your mood go, you bring your glass back to your lips. "You know--if you're not feeling--if you want to go, you can tell me."

"I know." You do know that. Felix has always been good about listening, about wanting to make sure you're comfortable.

You take another sip of your drink. Of course Sam's good at mixing drinks. You can picture her tripping over herself, rushing to grab the nearly empty bottle of syrup and risking making an enemy of a coworker to avoid having to tell Felix no.

Felix takes a step forward, his hand sliding across your back so that his arm can settle around your shoulders. It's instinct to lean into the contact. He's warm in a way that rivals the buzz in your system. "When we do go, we're going to have to go out the back way."

You let your head rest against his side. "Why?"

"Don't think Sam's going to be going out of her way to get me drinks again."

You crane your neck to look up at him, "What? Why?"

His eyes meet yours, and then he's dropping his gaze to the floor. "You have become such a gossip."

A sound that's a combination between a scoff and a laugh tumbles past your lips. "Have not."

"You and Farleigh," Felix continues, "You two always need to ask, always need to have an opinion."

"Not true," you defend weakly, "If I was a gossip I'd talk about how slutty--"

You cut yourself off, regretting your phrasing as soon as the word is out. Felix pulls back slightly, mouth falling open in exaggerated offense. "You called me a slut?"

"No," you defend yourself through a laugh, "I was saying that you have been slutty." Felix raises his eyebrows at you. "It's different." Felix's eyes narrow in an attempt to offset the smile tugging at his lips. "It is."

"Yeah?" He leans forward with no warning, his lips pressing against your cheek. That kiss is followed by another. Again and again, each more affectionate and touchy than the last.

His lips brush against your jaw. "Fe-lix." It wants to be a warning, but the nervous giggle that breaks his name into two makes coming off as threatening impossible.

"What?" He hums, his lips finding your neck. "If I'm that slutty, we should have a go at it."

You laugh, ignoring the heat burning its way up your neck because it's just Felix. "There's a bathroom inside."

Felix stills before pulling away enough to look you in the eye. There's the faintest flush tinging his skin. You laugh again, this time the sound fuller. It's nice to see flashes of the softer side of Felix while out in the real world. Felix laughs with you.

You tilt your head, pressing a kiss against his cheek. "For you, I'd spring for a hotel room."

"Now I feel special."

----

taglist; @vader-is-hot @spiritofbuddha @getosangie @freyafriggafrey @ilovehyperfixating @aryiannarae @willowpains @ker0senebunny

[adorethedistance]

The Late Late Show - Bella Ramsey x Reader (18+)

General Masterlist

Warnings: (18+ only minors DNI) afab reader, smut, swearing, teasing, lmk if there’s anything else I missed.

Words: 2697

Summary: After a promotional appearance on the Late Late show, you and Bella confess your feelings for one another; your skepticism causes them to prove just how much they like you back.

A/N: It’s almost 1 am. I don’t feel like proof reading this. I want to be done with it. SO here we are LMAO. In all seriousness I’m really stoked on this piece and I hope y’all like it. It’s been a while since I’ve written a full smut so I’m a little rusty.

Pedro, Bella, and I are on the Late Late Show to promote season 2 of The Last of Us, and Mr. James Corden had the incredible idea to make us play ‘spill your guts or fill your guts’. In rehearsal the questions were all mundane and simple to keep the surprises for the actual show. Now that the questions are real, my anxiety has skyrocketed and I anxiously await my turn. So far, Pedro has had a sip of bird saliva and Bella has confessed who their least favorite person to work with in their career was. Now it’s my turn and I’m almost too anxious to comprehend the words coming out of anyone’s mouth. Bella turns the table slowly, watching my face and gauging my reactions to each food as it goes by.

“Y/n.”

“Hm.”

“For this question, I will give you…” They pause to think for a moment, “The one thousand year old  egg.” I fight the urge to gag and Bella laughs deviously. They noticed the way I was particularly disturbed by it when we reviewed all the food options on the table for the camera. Bella laughs their adorable laugh after reading the question written on the cue card; I can’t stop the fake frown that’s appeared on my face.

“Which of mine and Pedro’s acting performances were the worst, and why?” The audience erupts into laughter, cheers, and groans as I contemplate how I can answer this question. “There is no way in hell I’m eating that.”

“Then you’ve got to answer.”

“I don’t know! I think you guys aren’t capable of bad performances.”

“Booooo.”

“Why are you booing me?!” I screech in surprise although I can’t help the smile forming on my face. Pedro jumps in,

“That’s a cop-out!”

“That is such a cop-out answer!” Bella laughs, biting their lip and resting their elbows on the table, displaying their hands that are sparsely decorated with rings.

“Why are you guys teaming up on me? This is so unfair. James, do something!”

“My hands are tied-”

“No, they are not it’s your show!”

“That one thousand year old egg isn’t getting any younger,” Bella quips, a devious smirk adorning their features. More laughter from the audience and I look back at Bella with pleading eyes. They raise their eyebrows to taunt me, clearly enjoying how I’m scrambling for answers. I bite the inside of my cheek and playfully glare. Another eyebrow quirk from Bella. On national television?

I cave, “Oh god. Okay, uh, Pedro. Maybe Mando? Since you’ve got the helmet on and we can’t really see your face emote a lot?”

“Kind of a cheat answer but I’ll leave it be,” Bella teases.

“Bella… Maybe Judy since you didn’t have too much on screen time so you weren’t given a lot to work with?” I attempt to calm my breathing as I wait for the other three to either approve or disapprove my answers. The jury is pleased with my response and I’m saved from eating the egg in front of me that is literally black and green.

We continue another rotation of questions going around the table until James takes us to commercial break. Bella, Pedro, and I stand from the table and head back to the couch for our actual interview portion of the show. It’s the last segment before we’re wrapped and I can’t wait to be finished so I can get out of this makeup and borderline black tie attire.

James gives us the standard questions that come with promoting a show and I find myself struggling to stay present. The way Bella moves their hands and the numerous rings that adorn their fingers are eternally captivating.

I want to just reach out and grab it. To hold their hand in mine and exist like that for as long as we possibly could. I want to hold them in my own and kiss them to show how much I care. I want to clench around their hands as I scream their name loud enough for anyone to hear. I want to bite down on exposed skin as they fuck me and tell me I’m their good girl. I crave Bella. I’ve always craved Bella.

“I think we’ve lost her. Y/n?” I hear James’ voice bring me back down to earth. My cheeks are a thousand degrees warmer as I realize I’ve been caught, lost in the fantasy of what it would be like to belong to Bella.

“What?” I ask when I zone back in. Everyone in the room laughs and I try to blink away my embarrassment.

“You play Dina, correct?”

“I do, yes.”

“This is a new character for this season, what can you tell us about her?”

“Yeah, so Dina is Ellie’s love interest in this part of the story,” I proceed to tell James the same basic spiel that I give every interviewer and he listens intently. He asks a few more questions about the characters and what it was like for the three of us to work closely on set. The interview goes over fun, smooth, and funny and before we knew it, the show was wrapped shortly after. Bella disappears almost immediately in search of a bathroom, leaving me with Pedro as James begins talking with one of his producers.

“Are you okay?” Pedro nudges my shoulder to get my attention. I nod rapidly which does not at all minimize his suspicion.

“Yeah, I’m totally good.”

“You were in space for the entire interview. What’s up?” He asks sincerely. Is this something I should tell him? Is this something I shouldn’t tell him? I’m at a loss for direction but Pedro’s reassuring smile reminds me that he is probably the best confidant on planet earth.

“It’s about Bella…” I start off slowly.

“Yeah, you really seem to like them.”

“SHHHH! Why would you say that so loud?!” I whisper shout which if anything draws more attention to us.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry.” Pedro holds both hands up to try and ease my anxiety and I drop my shoulders to try and reel everything back in.

“You’re right, though. I do really like them.”

“Apparently.”

“So what do I do?”

“What do you mean?”

I scowl, “What do you mean what do I mean?”

“It’s obvious they like you as well.” I tilt my head back incredulously.

“What are you talking about?” Pedro laughs heartily before responding,

“I may not be the smartest person in the room but I’m not an idiot. I see how you look at each other. How they look at you.” My heart flutters with excitement. “It’s a huge crush if I’ve ever seen one.”

“Well, what do I do then?” I ask, and we’re back to square one. Pedro shakes his head at my obliviousness.

“You tell them you like them and then kiss!” He says as if it’s the simplest thing in the world. Ever the optimist. As I open my mouth to speak, I cut myself off to see Bella has rejoined the three of us. A quaint smile paints their face and my heart flutters again tenfold.

“What’d I miss?”

“Not much from me but Y/n has something to say.” I go wide-eyed and look at Pedro in panic. If looks could kill he would be a dead man this instant. Bella nods at me expectantly and I feel a rush of anxiety in my core. I do my best to cover up the fact that I’m taking a deep breath to soothe my nerves.

“We should go somewhere… not… here.” Bella laughs at the peculiar rhythm of my speech but agrees and follows me backstage. In the dressing room that we shared when getting ready, I flick the switch that lights up the perimeter of lightbulbs around the vanity mirror. Bella senses the tension that’s practically radiating off of me and closes the door behind us.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay I just-” I trail off in search of the right words.

“...You just what?” Bella asks, gently.

Moment of truth.

“I really like you, Bella. And it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way. I’m anxious that bombarding you with this information could scare you away, and then we wouldn’t be friends anymore because it would be too awkward. So then I’d be losing not just my best friend, but also just you as a person and I’d hate for that to happen because I like you as a person too and I-”

“I’ve been waiting for this conversation.” Bella says smugly.

“-Have been so worried about- wait what?” As my whole rambling rant lead me to look down, my head snaps back up. “You’ve been waiting for this?”

“Mhm.”

“Would you care to share with the class?” I ask, facetiously causing them to laugh at the sarcasm.

“Pedro and I actually had a bet going for how long it would take you.” I frown at their words and blink away my confusion. Bella drops the smug smile. They stare at me and I feel my face heat up being under their intense gaze.

“You… don’t like me back?” I say, my heart sinking in panic as I had just bared my soul to them.

“Of course I like you back.”

“Well, don’t say that like it was obvious!”

“I made it pretty obvious.”

“No, you didn’t!”

“We spent Valentine’s day together.”

I open my mouth to protest but close it to consider maybe it wasn’t just a ‘Galentine’s’ hang out.

“But-”

“We literally woke up spooning when we had that sleepover.” I blink. Once, twice, and then shut my eyes completely to block out the visual of Bella’s face as I come to the same conclusion.

“Yeah, I guess it was pretty outright.” They simply nod a yes and I feel the weight of the world lifted off of my shoulders at once. “So, you like me?”

“Oh my god-” Bella rolls their eyes, and swiftly comes over to grab my face in their hands and kiss me passionately. Their lips on mine are the symphony of an orchestra that I’ve long awaited. Each movement of our lips, the rhythmic richness of percussion. Their hands tracing down the silhouette of my body, the sensuality of the brass. A desire-filled rush of blood coursing through my entire body, the serenity of the woodwinds. And the intensity of our feelings for one another becoming intertwined into one energy, the complexity of the strings.

I’m fully floating on cloud nine, drifting further and further away from the Earth and into the ethereality of Bella. The kiss started passionately and quickly becomes heated as the two of us revel in our lust for one another.

Bella grips my hair in their hand at the base of my neck, tugging the handful to break the kiss and tilt my chin upwards. They take the new access to kiss and suck the skin of my neck. Grazing their teeth over my larynx, biting into the side and sucking a harsh, clean mark into the exposed flesh. I groan and the sheer eroticism and grip the vanity counter behind me.

Bella’s ringed fingers gently grasp my hips, pushing me back to lean on the counter with more of my weight. They abandon the task of marking me, grabbing the fabric of my dress, pulling it up and cradling the hem of it in their hands at my hip sockets. All the while, they had sunken down to the floor, lustful eyes watching my face as they kneel on the floor.

“Can I?” They ask and I quickly nod yes as my mouth was too dry to form a verbal response. Lifting the hem of the evening dress over their head, Bella bites another hickey into my inner thigh. I squeak at the sensation. It hurts so good.

“Shhh. You’ve gotta stay quiet.” I nod rapidly as reassurance, temporarily forgetting they can’t see my face.

“Got it, sorry.”

“It’s okay, babygirl.” Bella then hooks their fingers into the waistband of the underwear I was wearing. “This okay?”

“Yeah,” I sigh out, anticipation dripping from my voice. They drop the garment to the floor and have me step one foot out of them. My left leg stays anchored on the ground as a point of support since the counter likely wouldn’t hold my entire body weight. Bella guides my right leg up and over their shoulder before they trace their tongue over my glistening core. I whimper out a noise of relief and my head drops back, readying myself for the ride of my life.

Their tongue traces through the folds, trailing up to draw my clit in their mouth. I let out a languorous moan. In an attempt to regulate my breathing, I pull in a deep breath of bliss. Bella expertly devours me and I feel myself pulsating from arousal. Judging by the smug hum of laughter I’m guessing they could feel the movement as well.

I grab the fabric of my dress around my thighs and lift the layers to keep Bella from practically suffocating. They continue, unphased. A euphoric cry escapes my lips when Bella presses two tantalizing fingers inside of me. My hand quickly covers my mouth to try and conceal the undeniable bliss of their hand working in tandem with their mouth. Each stroke of their fingers elicits a ragged moan from my throat and I fight so hard to remain quiet. Then, Bella’s mouth pulls off of my clit with an audible smack.

“Are you gonna be a good girl and come for me?” They ask earnestly and I nod rapidly. Anything to please them. The frantic nature of my response is satisfactory enough and they resume sucking on my swollen clit. I’m almost overstimulated from the pleasure of their mouth working with the rhythmic curling of their fingers. My moans increase tempo as I continue chasing the high. Bella beatifically bobs their head, moving faster to bring me closer to the edge.

Their fingers curve so perfectly against my g-spot and I fight the need to cry out in untamable pleasure. Stimulating the spot brings me closer and closer. I hold the collected fabric of my dress skirt in my left arm, and frantically reach down with my right. Bella masterfully maintains their pace, mouth and fingers working together while their other hand reaches up to interlace their fingers with mine. The thoughtful gesture is arousing in itself and I find my orgasm come to a peak.

I reside in this high for a moment before the waves of pleasure come crashing down over me. I finish with a strangled sob of gratification. Bella’s pace slows but they continue working me through the orgasm until the feeling passes. Once my clit stops pulsating, I feel them pull their mouth off of me with a most sinful pop. They leave our hands intertwined, but take the hand that was inside of me and lift the wet fingers to their lips, sucking off my remaining juices with great pleasure. I can’t help the laugh that escapes me, partly from disbelief but mostly from the residual high. They lock eyes with me and smile innocently, as if they hadn’t just sucked the life out of me in the best way possible.

Bella then wraps both arms around me and holds my body as tightly to their own as they can without hurting me. I then realize they’re doing this because my legs are trembling and they’re allowing me to use them as support. I’m grateful for the attentiveness and melt in their arms, wrapping my own around their shoulders. They hold me like this for a few minutes, and I smile knowing they would have remained there for hours if I’d asked them to.

“You were so good for me, pretty girl.” The praise is of the utmost comfort and I tuck my face into the crook of their neck. Placing soft, practically indebted kisses on their skin serves as a ‘thank you’ since I’m still very much recovering.

“I love being the only one to make you feel this good.”

[threepandas]

Bad End: Superior

When you join the military, there's a certain level of assumed risk. You're already aware that they're probably going to ask you to do things. Some of which? You might not be cool with. Internally, you have to decide where you'll be drawing the line. Where "just following orders" fucking ENDS. Especially, when, you join the military... and they assign you someplace that dumps a stack of NDAs in front of you to sign.

That stack had been about as big as a toddler.

And then... then there WERE toddlers. A compound. Deep in the ass pit of no where. Technology so cutting edge, I'm genuinely surprised it doesn't bleed people to turn on. The project? Fucking Super Soldiers.

Because of COURSE it would be.

Fuck Ethics, am I right? Rights? Those are for government officials! Now follow orders and shut up, or we'll direct your attention to the miles of uninterrupted wilderness, in which NO ONE WILL EVER FIND YOU. But, hey! You can't technically call us monsters! We're PAYING you~!

So obviously it's YOUR fault!

Every day. Every SINGLE DAY. I felt sick.

This isn't what I signed up for. How the HELL does this protect anybody? Serve ANYBODY? I felt unclean. Lost weight. My sleep cycle was a wreck. I... I couldn't fucking DO this, and it SHOWED.

I was clearly the weak link.

While others settled in? I got tense. Worn down. Sick. My contract stated I HAD to finish my rotation, so that's what was going to happen. And if the medic had to put me on sleep meds? So be it. If I had to take anti-anxiety pills? Down the hatch. Everything was shit and I FELT like shit.

I should have bagged groceries, fuck "better pay".

The guys here? Were so, SO shitty to the Soldiers. Like it was THEIR fault they might replace us. Like they even WANTED too or were give a fucking CHOICE. I had no idea how any of this was legal. Was pretty sure it WASN'T. I just... I just wanted OUT.

Room to breathe. To process my fucking horror, you know?

Instead? Day after day. I got up. Swallowed more and more fucking pills. Felt more and more exhausted and run down. Checked one more god forsaken day off the calendar until I could get OUT of here. Dressed, in uniform, and looking only halfway like I wanted to die. Try to get some breakfast.

Inevitably, INEVITABLY, have to fucking stop and interfere, with some shit head messing with a Solider. Usually one of the smaller ones. The kids. Because the big ones could Fight BACK. Break a man in fuck HALF. So the cowards went after kids instead.

Fuckers.

Get to breakfast late. Oops! They tossed out the leftovers! Didn't think you were cooooming~ Bullshit. It's retribution for stopping their fucked up games. Ratting them out to the scientists. The brass. Shoves as they go pass. Make my own damn breakfast. As I always do.

Eat alone.

Go to my office. Far side of the compound. Pass a shit ton of Soldiers. The little ones always stare. Like owls. Used to be creepy, got over it. It's how they learn. Do the jackasses honestly think? That putting me in the glorified broom closet, that is the satellite security office, is a punishment? Ha!

I stole a mini fridge weeks ago. Built a fucking nest in here.

It's like a second bunk.

Unlike SOME PEOPLE, the Soldiers actually fucking behave themselves. Honestly, they behave a little TOO much. I'm technically supposed to report a lot of the little behaviors I've seen so they can be "corrected". But would you look at THAT! I was on my break! Oh look, a painting. What's this? A text? Oops. I Saw NOTHING.

Eat shit and DIE, Dr. Atrocities!

At least... that's how my day is SUPPOSED to go. Something's? Weird.

I can't place it. But no one else seems to have NOTICED, so it HAS to probably have something to do with the Soldiers. Since I seem to be the only one on this fucking compound that actually LOOKS looks at them. Notices them, you know? Alpha isn't where he's supposed to be.

He's the OG. The proof of concept. Our so called "perfect" Soldier. He's usually in the center of the pack, leading around various Soldiers task to task. Giving orders. Generally in charge. If you look for HIM, you can get a read on things. Figure out what's up. But...

Huh.

No Alpha. No first series. Not even second wave. Worse, none of the cadets. There SHOULD be at least a FEW munchkins hanging around. Observing this or that. Following SOMEBODY like lil Owl ducklings. Yet? Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Just... general Soldiers...

The little hairs prickle on the back of my neck. A stone settles in my gut. I... I decide to skip breakfast. Not hungry. Don't feel like cooking. It... it has nothing to do with the fact that my office? Has some SERIOUS blast doors. Legit bunker all on its own. Even it's own air supply, for a while.

Y...you know,

In CASE.

They never told us... what "in case" WAS.

But if I walker a little faster then normal? Don't make eye contact with anybody? Can't... Can't HELP but notice? Even HERE, where there SHOULD be a shit ton of diversity? There fucking ISN'T? Well that's between me and the blast doors.

Just three doors away from my office when the Emergency Alarm System goes off.

I fucking BOLT the remaining distance.

Throwing myself inside my office, I SLAM the door closed. Engage the highest level locks possible. Something in my gut is screaming at me. The long seconds it takes to slide into place with a mountainous THUNK, feel like an eternity. Muffled, the alarm howl on outside. I... I think I hear gun fire. Shit.

I throw myself into my chair.

Systems, up. Screens, On. What is HAPPENING?

Horror awaits me. The Carnage I always half knew was coming.

The Soldiers are armed. Synchronized. As though this were just another seige simulation. There is a VICIOUSNESS to their actions, as they cut down the doctors. Hunt down the soldier's that abused them. Held them here. They are freeing themselves and will not rest until every soul in this base is DEAD.

Fuck.

I both understand but unfortunately, kinda want to LIVE.

There's no way I'll be able to get past them. Their senses are better then mine. They are faster then me. Stronger then me. Generally BETTER then me. They were DESIGNED to be. I can... can only wait them out... hopefully.

Alpha is nearly a blur. Every shot hitting its mark. The guns becoming bludgeoning weapons when bullets run out. Table and chairs, people and armor, everything around him improvised weaponry. He's grinning like he's never had more fun in his life. Like he's FINALLY been allowed to cut loose after so long holding back.

His head is on the swivel though. Searching? For what?

The other base line's try to hold the line but...

I close my eyes. Their screams echoing through tinny speakers in my tiny office. They were absolute fucking bastards. I... I HATED them. But no one... NO ONE deserves to go like this. Oh god. According to protocol, I need to send the emergency alarm again if the cut the main office.

There's a "break glass" box I've been curious about but never thought I'd ever have to OPEN. High up on a shelf. My legs feel shakey, but I get it.

They gave me a key when they assigned me to this office. Shoved in among everything else. A lazy afterthought. Part of my uniform. Now, I take it from around my neck and unlock the box.

One standard gun and a small vial of suicide pills.

Oh god.

"She's not here. Spread out."

My head snaps up to the screens. As though somehow that will change the horrifying words I just heard Alpha say. The alarms still wail, red lights flashing, but the hallways have... oh god, have fallen silent. Bodies line them. Blood staining the God forsaken white I've come to hate so much. Alpha looks so relaxed.

Pleased even. Like everything has gone exactly as he's planned.

One of the first series hand him a pad uncaring of his bloody hands. Chances are high that samn thing is connected to the servers. It looks like on of the scientists. I watch in dread as Alpha's eyes scroll across it. As it taps through several screens. Hums. He grins.

He rolls his head up, as though merely stretching his shoulders and neck, an almost loose and lazy act. If it weren't for the INTENT in his smile. The predatory look in his eyes. Up and over his shoulder. Too look behind him at the camera.

Directly At Me.

Fuck, he knows.

He hands off the pad with an almost lazy toss. Turning sharply to march forward in a way that made me think of wolves. My hand closed around the gun in the box before me, breathing turning shallow, as I watched him take a direct path towards me. Why? WHY? Is it because I'm the only one who's left?

My eyes tracked to the other screens. The agony there.

The little bottle that offered a way out.

I... fuck it, I wasn't waiting. I slammed my hand down on the back up Emergency Alarm. Even if they cut the main office now, mine would still sent the alert. And... oh god. And at least, this should be FAST. I popped the bottle open. Gun aimed at the door. Bottle in my off hand, ready to go. I tried to remember what i was told to do. Just... just pop, chew, and swallow.

It'll only hurt for a moment.

Better then THAT, I guess, but it was... it was so fucked up.

Alpha was coming down the hall. N... No more stalling. My eye sight blurred. Hands fucking shook. God, damn it. God DAMN IT! I didn't even want to BE HERE! W...WHY?! Why did it have too-!?

It... it didn't matter.

Not now.

Not anymore, I guess.

I threw the pills back. Chewed. They were bitter. Salty. Swallowed. Some part of my brain whispered... that... that wasn't right. I recognized the poison on the bottle. Shouldn't it be swee-? No, focus. Keep your gun steady. What's done is done. No going back.

Alpha was outside my office.

"Interesting door, princess." He said, projecting his voice so I could hear it through the blast doors. I could see him. Standing dead center of a squad of Soldiers. They crowded the hallway in a loose half circle. "Looks real secure! Rather safe. But why all the hiding, sweetheart? A man might get his feelings hurt. Think you're running AWAY from him or something. And you KNOW we can't have THAT!"

"So I suggest you open up... before I Do It For You."

My hands were shaking. More and more. Heart pounding. Mouth felt... dry? It was happening. Limbs felt weak. My vision swam a little then refocused. Did so again. Again... AGAIN, louder, my brain insisted that wasn't right. These were the wrong symptoms. But... but who CARED, right? Fatal is fatal.

But... but only if it IS.

What if...

A horrific screech of metal. I jerked my head to look at the screen for the hallway out side. No. No he can't possibly-! Arm wrapped in spare armor, likely taken from some poor man's corpse, Alpha's RIGHT ARM is elbow deep in the door.

I watch, numb, as he draw it to the side. Bending screeching, groaning metal out of his way as he does. Lock components carelessly ripped out. Dumped on the floor. My breathing comes faster. I can barely see. It's... fuck. It's been too long for the pills to have been what they said they were.

Someone switched them.

What the HELL did I swallow?

I watch helplessly as my supposed bunker is forced open. A flimsy wooden door the last barrier. It swings open. I fuckin shoot. No one was there, because of course not, he's not an idiot. I just... I JUST-! A hand, calloused and stronger then steel, wraps around mine. Grip tight as it gently forces the gun away and to the side. Drags it from my grip.

I can't move... my arm falls limp at my side as the last of my strength and focus fade away. Colors are blurry at the edges. Alpha LOOMS. Tall and powerful in a way that terrifies me. I tried to be polite to the guy. Keep my distance. Clearly... clearly wasn't enough... God, I'm so scared. Please...

"Oh~ Look At YOU~" he breathes, hands that wreak of copper coming up to cradle my feverish face. Crowding close as he traps me against my chair. "Tried to take the easy way out, huh? Naughty girl. That's not gonna a fun one. But you'd have to learn eventually that you can't run, so might as well, huh? Don't worry, sweetness. Alpha team's got you."

I try to move. Protest. Anything. But my limbs won't respond. I feel lips, possessive and demanding, against my own.

"God, you're so fucking cute, pathetic like this~" Alpha groans, clearly fighting the impulse to let his hands roam "Wish it was just us. I've got MONTHS to make up. Second I find us a bed, princess, I promise. I'll take you APART~"

He reaches out, casually, to shut the alarms down. The compound falling silent. The... the other alarm was deactivated. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see him effortlessly type in the "all clear" code with one hand. As though he'd practiced. He... he had, hadn't he... oh god, I was trapped.

"Shhhh, sweetness. No more tears. Just you 'n me, 'gainst the world, yeah? We're going to be PERFECT. I've got it all planned out."

"Now let's get you down to the labs. It's time to make you superior."

[a-dinosaur-a-day]

Opinions on Carnotaurus, they've always been one of my favorite dinosaurs and its very funny seeing people deny feathers on dinosaurs from the perspect of having the one dinosaur where most evidence (as far as i know, might need to catch up on some reading) points to no feathers. Its a real spiders georg situation

like carnotaurus has amazing skin impressions and no signs of feathers, which is fine! We know lots of dinosaurs probably lost their feathers at big sizes! but we still don't really know that a scaley fossil indicates no feathers. We need more taphonomic data on that, and such studies are hard to come by.

Anyways, feathers, no feathers, whatever. The most interesting thing about Carnotaurus is that its a sosig (sausage).

(by Andrey Atuchin, CC BY SA 4.0)

Abelisaurs were cursorial acrobats. They could turn on a dime and their long, ovular bodies helped with that, as well as their muscular legs and tail. Their heads were attached to strong necks, so they could just attack prey with their mouths while moving fast.

This was important, because most Abelisaurs in the late cretaceous were the top predators of their ecosystems, and what lived in their ecosystems?

Giant fucking titanosaurs

So being able to turn and move quickly gave these guys a leg up on the slower-moving giant bird giraffe-elephants around them

they didn't need their arms for hunting or movement anymore, so that's why they're so small - muscles in the neck region of dinosaurs tend to occupy a similar space as the muscles in the arm region, so more of one leads to a loss in the other. Strong neck for strong bites = weaker arms.

That said, what's weird is that they have a fully 360 degree rotational arms, which is not actually common, so it doesn't seem like something arms that aren't being used would have. Perhaps these tiny little nubbins were used for display - with bright colors or the like - and rotated around in the socket. Dinosaurs are very much Display oriented animals, as we see in living birds and the variety of display structures in extinct forms. this may just be the weirdest take on that theme!

Plus, the horns are Spiffy

[sachirobabe]

Chapter 3

Kuroo Tetsurou x reader

Wc: 1664

Summary: You, a dedicated member of the girls' volleyball team, find an unexpected connection with Kuroo Tetsurou. Igniting a bond over shared passions and stolen moments, love blossoms on the court; all because you met him at a captains meeting.

<— Previous | Masterlist | Next —>

Taglist: @merlucide, @lemurzsquad, @02shuuu

After a grueling week, your tryouts officially ended. There was already an idea of what the lineup would be looking like, but your coach wanted to have a meeting about it.

Which is why you're at school on your only days off from both practice and your studies. Normally, meetings weren't every week, but it was a new season so they'd be more frequent for the first couple of weeks.

Your team had been too busy with tryouts to have a practice match with the boys', but it'd be happening this upcoming week and you were so excited.

"Good morning." You say walking into the gym, Kuroo and coach Nekomata were both seated—well Kuroo was on the floor, lying on his stomach.

"Good morning." Kuroo smiled, then began writing on his piece of paper on the floor.

"Where's Mori at?" You look around confusingly, trying to spot her light brown hair, pulled back into a loose pony tail.

"Her office, I think." Kuroo answers.

"I thought she said the bathroom?" Coach Nekomata furrows his brows and in response Kuroo shrugs. You sit down next to him and eye his paper, he's drawing up some lineups.

You frown at the absence of your coach. She made you get up early when you should be sleeping in like the rest of your teammates. The worst part is she didn't bribe you this time so you had nothing to look forward to.

Kuroo finishes and hands his paper to his coach, he examines it and held onto it for a minute or two. He kicks his feet, waiting for feedback. You laugh at him silently, in your head. He's kinda cute.

"What do you think about this, Y/n?" Coach Nekomata hands you the paper, it's slightly crumpled, you're starting to think that all of Kuroo's papers are.

You take it from his hands and look at the rotations, "I think a 5-1 is a good choice, especially if your second setter is clearly outplayed by Kenma." You follow the rotations more, seeing which players are getting switched.

"You guys also run a 5-1 too, right?" Kuroo bites the inside of his cheek, not wanting to sound like a creep for knowing.

"Yeah," you chuckle, "I think it looks great. You have a good use of substitutions." You smile and hand back the paper to him. His hand brushes yours for a millisecond as he grabs it.

"This is the lineup we'll beat your team with." He smirks.

"Oh yeah? Confident, I like it." You say,the door to the gym opens and all of your heads turn. "And where were you? We agreed on 9:30 am sharp. You're late." You lecture.

"Oh please, I don't want to hear it." She laughs. "I was here before you, I just had to get some things from my office." She shuffles some things around in her backpack, then pulls out a blank piece of paper, like Kuroo's, just not crumpled. "Start thinking of some lineups." She says.

You frown, "Can I borrow that?" You point to Kuroo's pencil and he immediately nods and slides it to you. "Thank you."

"I think we got this one in the bag." Kuroo now flips from his stomach to his back and faces the gym ceiling.

"Uh-huh, sure." You draw out the last word. "How many tournaments have you won?"

He clicks his tongue, "We've won."

"Recently?" You raise an eyebrow, staring into his eyes.

He can feel his cheeks begin to heat up, he turns away before you could see, "Yeah well, you lost some valuable players last season."

"We have good first-years." You say, "I heard one of your first-years can't receive well, isn't that what your team's known for?"

The two coaches watch you two banter back and forth, Mori reminding Kuroo that you had to finish the rotations still and to stop distracting you. The meeting was pretty short, there wasn't a lot to cover besides lineups.

"You're staying?" You point between the two coaches, Kuroo and you helped clean up and were ready to leave.

"We've got a board meeting in a little." Coach Nekomata says and you nod, bidding them goodbye for the day as you walk out with Kuroo.

You're not surprised to see that it's lightly raining, since it had been all week, and yet you still didn't bring an umbrella. "You have an umbrella?"

"Of course I do." He chuckles, opening it and luckily it was big enough for the two of you to be under. "Have you eaten already?"

You shook your head, "I was starving that whole time," you laugh, "Have you?"

He shook his head, "There's this convenience store by my house, you wanna go get something?" He strengthens his grip on the umbrella.

"Yeah." You smile.

He lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding and turns his head so he can smile like a schoolgirl, he quickly recomposes himself and look forward again.

You thought Kuroo was nice, you've never really gotten to know him, but you were semi-close to Kai, one of his teammates, only because he was in your class.

"How'd you feel about the first week of classes?" You ask after a moment of silence.

"Pretty easy, I'm enjoying it while it lasts." He says and you chuckle.

"Yeah, it gets rough around June and July. We usually use the first hour of practice to study before actually playing." You say.

"So you guys practice less?" Kuroo is intrigued by this, he had never heard of a team doing anything like it.

"No, we extend it to end an hour later, coach just wants to make sure we at least do something productive before practice." You clarify.

He hums, "I'm sure you have no issue passing exams." He compliments.

You smile, "Not really, I study frequently. I could say the same about you." You slightly nudge him.

He shrugs and rolls his eyes playfully, "Aw stop it, I just pay attention, that's all."

"Consider that the last time I compliment you." You laugh.

"I'm kidding! I appreciate it, thanks." He laughs along with you. "This is it." He says, looking both ways before crossing the street to the convenience store. The second you spot food, your stomach began to grumble.

You found yourself in a different aisle than Kuroo, trying to choose from the two onigiri in your hand. You decided to take both, you're extremely hungry. Kuroo came up next to you in line, you noticed he had a sandwich and a drink, an iced tea you think.

It was your turn next in line, you kindly greeted the man at the register and placed your items on the counter. What you didn't expect was to see Kuroo's items placed next to yours, you turn confusingly, but he had already given the man his card.

"You didn't have to—"

"Nonsense. I'm the one who asked you to come." He smiles widely, then quickly takes his card back and puts it inside of his wallet. "Cmon, let's eat." He grabs the bag full of your shared items.

"Thank you." You sincerely say, feeling a little bad about him paying, not that it was expensive, but still.

"Of course." The rain had stopped, the sun began to come out of the gray clouds. He leads you to one of the benches at a nearby park, it had an umbrella so it wasn't too soaked.

"God, I'm starving." He says, handing you your items.

You agree with him and a comfortable silence falls between you two as you're both distracted with eating. You eye the area around you, it was unfamiliar, but it wasn't too far from your home.

You watch an owner play with her dog, repeatedly throwing the ball for the dog to run and get it, it made you smile. You crumble up the wrapper the onigiri was in and place it on the table.

"You know," You begin, Kuroo was also watching the dog, but now his eyes were looking into yours, "I've lived here for a while now and I've never been to this park before."

Kuroo chuckles, "It's nice, right?" And you nod. "Kenma and I would play here all the time."

"That sounds nice." You smile and begin watching the dog again, Kuroo can't help but continue to stare at you.

"He didn't like it very much, his arms would hurt after playing volleyball for a long time." Kuroo recalls the memory.

"I believe that. I'm surprised he's still playing." You honestly say.

"I think he likes it. In his own way." He shrugs. "You and Himari are close, too."

You smile, thinking of your best friend, "Yeah, we grew up next to each other. It was nice having someone in the same grade, it felt like I wasn't going through anything alone."

"I get that, she's like a sister to you." He says and you immediately agree. Both of your families had been close since the day they moved in. "You don't have siblings don't you?"

"No, only child." You shrug.

"I have an older sister." He says.

"Really?" You're surprised, you would've thought he was an only child.

"Yeah, she's way older, so I don't see her very often." As he finishes his sentence, the sun quickly goes away and the sounds of thunder hit your ears. "Oh shit." Kuroo says.

"I think it's gonna rain again." You say, "I better get going."

"I hope it's not too long of a walk." Kuroo says, worried that you're going to get soaked.

"No, don't worry it's not." You smile, "I'll see you later. Thank you again for paying!" You say as you leave, speed walking towards your house.

Kuroo watches you get further and further away, his heart was pounding from the moment you walked into the gym. A small smile remains on his face as he walks back home.

[messedupfan]

Chapter 12

Summary: It's the holidays and the kids school is putting on a show!

A/n: Sorry this has taken a bit of time to get out. There is a lot packed into this chapter. Enjoy!

Masterlist | All Chapters | All Stories Taglist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Come on guys, no more pictures! We’re going to be late!” Rachel whines, tired of posing for pictures. Jean frowns with her phone covering half of her face. 

“Just one more picture, babe. You look so adorable!” Jean says as she waves her daughter back into place. 

“Baba,” Rachel looks at you for help. You nod and place your hand on Jean’s shoulder. 

“Come on, mama. Let’s get her to school on time. She’s stressed enough, she doesn’t need to be late.” You say as you attempt to reason with your ex-wife. 

“Fine, but you’ll regret this when you’re old and decrepit and have no memories,” Jean grouches as she puts her phone away.

“Jean, you'll have more opportunities to take pictures of our little soloist when she's on stage and after the performance. But for now, we have to go,” you say as you open the door for everyone to leave the house.  Both of your parents and their significant others are here along with Kate. Your step siblings are spending the holidays with their significant other's families this year. Which allowed your dad to spend them with you. It has been years since he's spent the holidays with you and he even apologized for that as he brought in many gifts for Rachel and even a few for you. Anna's parents, Owen and Pricilla, are also in attendance and they have also spoiled Rachel with presents making the tree overflowing with presents. Jean's parents aren't attending this year because they're spending the holidays with her older brother Roger and his family. Jean is the youngest of five and since the family spread out throughout the country over the years, her parents have had to rotate where they spend the holidays. But since Jean isn’t without family, she is fine not having her parents here. 

Even without the Grey’s, Rachel still has a pretty big crowd there to support her. You almost feel guilty for not having more kids for a crowd this size to root for, especially since some kids won't have nearly this many people attending to see them. 

The group of ten arrives at the school parking lot in multiple cars. You were lucky enough to get to drive Rachel alone since she wanted to avoid everyone fawning all over her. You help her get to her classroom where all of the students were asked to meet before the performance. It's a big holiday showcase with performances from each grade. Since Rachel is in her last year of elementary school, that meant her performance was going to be the big finale of the show. 

“Good luck, munchkin,” you kiss the top of her head before sending her into the classroom. 

“Baba, you're supposed to say ‘break a leg’ because the theater is very superstitious,” she says and you smile as you get ready to correct yourself but you get interrupted by her teacher. 

“There you are! My star! Come on in, let's get you ready,” the teacher takes her away from you and you go looking for the rest of the people that you're going to sit with. 

There are many families that are crowding the halls and are slowly filing into the theater as they find their seats. You're carefully scanning the crowd for a familiar face when you hear your name being called. You whip your head around as you try to find the face and stop when you find Daisy. You shuffle through the crowd to get to her when you feel some tug on your coat. You look back and find Luna smiling up at you. Then you notice Pietro before he notices you. 

“Hey,” you greet as you hold his arm. Pietro smiles as he greets you with a hug. “I thought you weren't coming,” you say as you step back to get out of the way. Luna asks to be lifted up and so you pick her up and she gives you a tight hug. 

“Yeah, I wasn't planning on it but uh,” he looks around before leaning in close. “Vision canceled on Tommy and Billy and they were taking it pretty hard so, here I am.” 

You shake your head. For someone who is so adamant about being the only male presence in his son's lives, he sure has a funny way of showing it. “That's a shame. I know that Billy was really excited for him to see his part.” 

Pietro shrugs, “I know, but we're here for him. Hopefully it's enough.” Even though the both of you know that it most likely isn't, you don't voice it. “I should probably get in,” Pietro says as he reaches for his daughter. “Have to find the wife.” 

“Crystalia is here? Where is she?” You look around, realizing that she wasn't with him. 

“She's with Wanda and my mom. We got here pretty early to avoid this traffic because we recently found out that Crystalia is carrying twins so we wanted to minimize her standing time. Unfortunately for me, this one needed to go potty,” he starts to tickle his daughter making her squeal and squirm in his arms. 

The two of you wish each other happy holidays as you go your separate ways and you finally make your way through the crowd to Daisy who has found Jean and the rest of the large family. She arrived separately because she said she had to work. But you believe she has been avoiding meeting your parents and having to sit through a meal with them. You place your hand on her lower back and give her an innocent greeting kiss. “I'm glad that you made it,” you smile at her. 

“I wouldn't miss it,” she takes your free hand and gives you a few squeezes. You squeeze back. It has been a rough adjustment between her and Rachel, but Daisy surprises you by trying every day to get your daughter to welcome her. 

“Did she get to her classroom fine?” Jean asks and you confirm that she did and throw in that she didn't seem nervous in the least. “She is so brave. It scares me,” she admits. You agree with her as you imagine the many wrong turns that bravery could take your daughter. All any parent can do is hope for the best.  

As you finally get through the auditorium doors, your eyes wander and you aren't sure what you're looking for until your eyes land on her. She is standing in front of her mother with a smile as she talks to her. You are curious about what is making her smile as it makes you smile. “What's got you smiling? The kids aren't out yet.” Anna whispers as she nudges you. 

You look at her, “I can't be proud that our daughter finally got a solo here?” You notice when she finds Wanda but she doesn't point it out. 

“I know! I'm so proud too, she has been working really hard on this,” she says as she squeezes your bicep. 

“I'm so glad she let me help her,” Daisy leans in, overhearing the conversation. “She actually called Y/n here tone deaf,” Daisy laughs and Anna joins her. You shake your head. When Rachel came to your apartment raving about the audition she had, she asked for your help but you couldn't carry a tune to save your life and she found it difficult to bounce off of. So, Daisy quietly sang to herself until Rachel noticed and the girl shyly asked for the woman's help. It got to the point that she would ask Daisy to go over to her mom's house to help her practice. You couldn't have been happier and your girlfriend couldn't have been more willing to help. 

During the performances of the five grades before Rachel and the twins, you find it increasingly difficult to stay awake through it. The kids certainly are adorable but none of them are Rachel, so you don’t have much interest in watching the little kids struggle to remember lines and sing the lyrics off key. Thankfully, you have Daisy there to wake you up when they announce the fifth grade class. You sit up and look around to remind yourself where you are and as you do, you turn around enough to see your father doing the same thing as his wife wakes him. You would find the symmetry endearing if the two of you weren’t so estranged. You smile at Daisy and put your arm over her shoulders as she snuggles into you in response to the gesture. 

Now since there are a lot of students, not every student is participating on the stage. Some of the students are operating backstage and others are managing props. Some even are the props. Like Tommy, he is a Christmas tree as punishment for being difficult in every other aspect of the play. You laugh to yourself as you zoom in on his Grinch green grumpy face and snap a picture for Wanda. Then you start recording the entire stage as Billy leads a group of boys and girls in a musical number. Rachel is crouched and hidden in the middle of the other students. She blossoms as they spread out through the front of the stage. Your daughter sings her little heart out and doesn’t miss a beat. You feel your eyes sting with proud tears as you continue to record her. 

“Put your phone down,” Daisy whispers. “I’ve got it. You enjoy the show.” You nod and end the recording. You want to whisper your gratitude but don’t want to mess up the recording on her phone. You experience your daughter's performance live instead of through the screen and watch as she gets her dance moves correct. You don’t even realize how close to the edge of the stage she is until it happens. You don’t think anyone did. Rachel certainly didn’t, not with the big smile she had as she nailed her performance. 

“Rachel!” Billy and Tommy shouted at the same time as they both abandoned their positions and rushed to the edge of the stage to look down at their friend on the ground. There was a collective gasp in the audience that made the whole thing seem unreal. You experience a delayed reaction and don’t run towards the stage until Anna and Jean are shuffling in front of you to rush to the stage. The three of you make it after Wanda, who is yelling at her boys to stay put as she assesses the situation. 

“Rachel, honey, don’t move okay?” Wanda says as she kneels down beside Rachel but not too close. You get next to Wanda as you watch your daughter struggle to wake up. You look her over for any obvious injuries and notice that her leg is in really bad shape. 

“Someone call an ambulance!” You shout as you look at the large auditorium full of people too stunned to do anything. You shake your head and pull out your phone to do it yourself and that’s when a school administrator speed walks over to see if she can avoid causing a big scene. 

The older woman’s view is obstructed so with good intentions she says, “Do you think you could carry her out of here? We will have an ambulance waiting outside. I just want to avoid canceling the big finale for the rest of the students and their families.” 

Jean and Anna, who were next to you, move out of the way and the woman still tries to ask you to move her. Just as you’re about to say that you don’t think you should, Wanda steps in for you. “Are you crazy? I’m sorry, I would have loved it if this didn’t happen either but we don’t know what internal damages she has! None of us here are trained to properly move her without making it worse. The show is over. Do you understand?” Wanda turns around to shout to the audience but Billy taps her shoulder and holds out his mic pack for her. “Everyone, please stay in your seats until we can get a paramedic to remove Rachel Y/l/n-Grey from the auditorium safely. Her family thanks you for your respect and patience.” 

With this announcement, the army that is Rachel’s grandparents rise and make their way to the front as well as they realize the severity of the situation. “I don’t think that was necessary,” the woman says to Wanda. 

“Excuse me, my granddaughter is in need of serious medical attention. She isn’t even conscious,” your dad steps in to defend Wanda. “Madam, are you a doctor?” The woman shakes her head. “Do you have any medical experience or knowledge at all?” She replies no and tries to continue after that but your father shuts her down again. “Then you can step away and guide the paramedics to us because that’s all you’re good for in this situation.” You are shocked to see this protective side of your father but you don’t stop him because he’s doing what you’re too shocked to do. 

You stay close to Rachel and as much as you want to hold her hand or touch her to let her know that you are there, you don’t. You just watch her chest struggle to rise and fall as you wait for the medical professionals to arrive. It hurts you to see the uneven breaths, but it comforts you to know that she is still breathing. The position of her head and her arm concern you, but you try really hard not to focus too much on the list of injuries she may or may not have. You just focus on the fact that she is alive and help is on the way. You don’t realize that you’ve been holding your breath until Wanda’s touch shocks you back to self awareness. You take a deep breath and look at her as she rubs your back. “She’s going to be okay,” she says to comfort you and with everything in you, you hope that she is right. 

Wanda has to move you out of the way when the paramedics arrive at the scene. You finally look away when they start to move her around. She looks so tiny and helpless in their care and you couldn’t stand the sight. Wanda continues to take care of you and you are grateful. You don’t notice that Daisy is standing at her seat until you are following the paramedics out of the theater. She collects her things and follows you out. “I’ll follow behind to give you a ride back to your car. When you're ready, of course,” she says and you nod as you climb into the ambulance with your daughter. Only one parent could ride along and Jean volunteered you without a second thought. 

“She needs you, Y/n. You’re better at this stuff and I can’t stop crying,” she said as she attempted to wipe her tears. You gave her a quick hug and promised that Rachel was going to be okay. It didn’t bring her much relief but she held onto the small amount of comfort it did bring. 

Wanda is walking at a fast pace as she holds her boys hands to get them out of the school. “Come on boys, I need to get you home.” Tommy stops walking and pulls his hand out of hers. 

“No,” he frowns, “I want to go to see Rachel. I have to make sure she is okay.” 

Wanda sighs, “Honey, we won’t know that for a while. It will be a lot of waiting.” 

“We’re okay with that,” Billy says. “She’s our best friend. We want to be there for her,” he says as he stands next to his brother. Pietro finds the three of them in the middle of the parking lot. His mother is helping his wife and daughter to his car. He was sent to find Wanda to see what she was going to do, and offer to watch the boys so that at least she can be there for you.

“What’s going on here, guys?” He asks as he places his hands on the back of their heads. 

“They want to go with me to the hospital to wait for Rachel,” Wanda answers. She looks at her brother for help. She wasn’t sure what she should do in terms of being a good parent but she doesn’t think she can convince her determined boys to go with their uncle. They almost never agree on anything at the same time like this. 

“Hey, so are we taking these two with us?” Mrs. Maximoff asks as she joins the group. 

“No,” Pietro says, helping his sister make the decision as he looks at his mother, “Tommy and Billy will be joining Wanda.”  

“I see,” she says as she looks at her grandsons. “My boys are so sweet. But are you sure you don’t want to come with us to Uncle Pietro’s? We can have ice cream and cake and watch movies.” Billy and Tommy shake their heads and cross their arms at the same time. 

“We have to be there for Rachel,” Tommy stands his ground, showing no sign of temptation to his grandmother’s offer. She shrugs and looks at her daughter. 

“I’ll join you,” she says. 

“Mom, you don’t have to,” Wanda starts to protest. 

“No, I’m supporting my grandsons. They want to be at the hospital then so do I,” she states and Wanda doesn’t argue any further. She's in a hurry to get to you. Well, to the hospital to be there for you. And Jean and Anna of course since they're her friends as well.

“Okay, let’s go then,” Wanda says and she says goodbye to her brother as she walks off with her boys and their mother. She drives, uncertain if she should even be there in the first place but knows that if something like this happened to either of her boys, you would be there for her. No question. When she finds you in a waiting area with your family she knows that the news can't be too good. Before asking anything, Wanda pulls you into a tight hug that you melt into. “What do you know?” She asks as she steps back. 

“She broke her leg, that's been confirmed. There is a lot of concern for her arm and shoulder and they don't know whether it's the pain that has kept her unconscious or if she sustained a head injury. The paramedics couldn’t tell how hard she might've hit her head but are optimistic that it wasn't too hard since it looks like her leg took the brunt of it. The doctor said that we won't know until she wakes up what kind of damage might've been done to her head. She's in surgery now,” you explain, trying to remain calm and not jump to the worst kinds of conclusions. Rachel is going to be fine. She is strong. Wanda nods as she digests the information. “You brought the boys?” You ask as you notice Tommy’s green face and Billy also still in his costume being dragged to seats by their grandmother. 

Wanda turns to look at them and then turns back to you. “They insisted. My mom tried to take them to Pietro's house but they refused. They really care about Rachel.” Wanda stands next to you and the both of you look at her boys as they fight over who gets a turn first on grandma's phone. “Which one do you think she'll marry?” 

You snort at the idea, “Hopefully neither.” 

Wanda looks at you feeling offended by your answer. “She would be a lucky girl to marry one of my boys.” 

You hold your hands up in surrender, “No one is saying she wouldn't be. It's just that Jean and I are both hoping we raised a lesbian. If she's straight, we might have to disown her.” You smirk at the end to show your lack of seriousness and Wanda shakes her head.

“It amazes me that you have a sense of humor in a crisis,” Wanda says.

“That’s my fault,” your mom says as she flips through the outdated magazine from the hospital collection. “I'm not good in a crisis so Y/n learned how to make me laugh from an early age in order to help us both get through it.” She closes the magazine and tosses it back onto the pile. She looks Wanda up and down and lifts her hand in the air as she remains seated. “I'm Eleanor Bishop, Y/n’s mother,” she introduces herself.  Wanda introduces herself and your mom makes a face to place the familiarity to the name. “Oh yes, I've heard of you! Rachel talks very highly of you and your boys. Twins right?” 

“Right, Tommy and Billy,” Wanda points out her boys to the woman. “They wanted to be here for your granddaughter,” she explains. 

“Oh they are so kind,” your mom says. “This is my husband, Derek,” she places her hands on her husband's shoulder. He half stands to shake Wanda's hand as well and gives a polite hello. “I'm not sure if you've already met my daughter, Kate,” she gestures to Kate who is sitting across from her and behind Wanda. 

“No, but I have heard a lot about you. Rachel adores you,” she turns to Kate to get a read on the girl but it's clear she's in no mood to make pleasantries. She just wants to know that her niece is okay. Wanda doesn't push and surprisingly, neither does your mother. 

“Would you like to take a seat,” you ask Wanda when you realize that the two of you are the only ones standing in the middle of the waiting area. She nods and looks over at her family to see that there isn't a seat for her. But there is one next to you, leaving you in the middle of Wanda and Daisy. 

The latter of the two snuggles into your arms and laces her fingers with yours once you've settled in. Something about the gesture comes off more territorial than it does comforting and it makes you uncomfortable. But you don't pull away. You know that she has an insecurity when it comes to your friendship with Wanda, so you do your best to show her that she has nothing to worry about. 

An hour passes with a couple of updates and Pietro shows up with some treats for everyone to help them get through the wait. He talks with you for a bit and you thank him for showing up and for being kind enough to bring food for your family. “I can't take all of the credit to be honest. Wanda messaged me to see if I was able to drop some things off.” You look at Wanda who is helping her boys distribute the donuts and coffee to the members of your family who at first declined but after getting a speech from Wanda about everyone taking care of themselves they all realized how much they needed the treat. You can't imagine a better person to have by your side in a crisis. 

You look at Daisy and notice that she looks a little off as she stares at her phone. You excuse yourself from Pietro and walk over to Daisy. But as soon as you get close enough she stands while collecting her things and apologizes to everyone as she starts to walk away. You turn back, unsure if you should go after her or stay just in case the doctor sends someone out for another update. Jean tells you to go so you do. 

“I wonder what that's all about,” Pietro says as he gets close to Wanda. 

“Pietro, please. Now's not the time,” Wanda rolls her eyes at her brother's nosiness. He nods as he drops it. “Do you think we'll be able to convince the boys to let you take them with you?” She asks as she takes a bite of the donut. 

“No, but we might be able to convince mom to let me drop her off,” the two share a laugh as Pietro points to the woman who is nodding off in her seat. 

“Daisy,” you say as you chase her down the hall to prevent her from leaving but she doesn't stop. “Daisy, please talk to me. What's wrong?” You ask once she's guided you out of the building. “Daisy, come on. I want to be here for you, whatever you're going through, but we need to get back in there for Rachel. I can't be out here for too long,” you try to explain.

“Then go back inside, I didn't ask you to follow me,” she snaps back at you but she continues walking. You shake your head and take a glance back at the building before continuing to follow Daisy. “I can't do this. I'm not ready for all of this,” you overhear her muttering to herself. 

“What aren't you ready for?” You ask, confused by her rambling words. Daisy drops her keys and you're quicker than she is to pick them up. She asks for her keys. “Not until you tell me what's wrong,” you negotiate. You really don't understand what is causing this behavior from her. You wonder if it has anything to do with Wanda but you don't want to believe that's the case. You don't know if it'd be fair to the kids to have to cut them out of each other's lives for Daisy. She knows that your first priority is always Rachel and her happiness. 

“It was great meeting everyone, despite the circumstances, but my wife just messaged me about some cravings that I should get to her before everything closes. Rachel is a strong girl, she's going to be fine,” Pietro says as he starts to make his exit after engaging in light conversation with your father and his wife and even managed to get Kate to chat after a conversation with Anna's parents. Your mother is preoccupied with reading to the twins and although the pair of them claim to be too old for a storytime, your mom can be quite the storyteller. Pietro walks over to his mom and gently wakes her to offer her a ride home. 

She looks at her grandsons and shakes her head. “I think it'll be a good example to stick out the wait with them,” she says as she reaches up and lightly pats his cheek. “Thank you for asking, my sweet boy. I love you.” 

Pietro smiles and gives his mom a sweet kiss on the forehead. “I love you too, ma. I'll see you tomorrow,” he says before he walks away. Wanda catches up to him and she says something about walking him out and he smirks. “Who's the nosey one now?” He teases and she shakes her head. 

“All of it, Rachel, you, us,” Daisy says as tears start to stream down her face. “I thought,” she takes a shaky breath as she runs her fingers through her hair, “I thought I wanted all of it. I swear to you, every time that I told you I was ready I meant it but… the way she fell. The reality that she could be gone in a split of a second. I froze. I froze when none of you did. I can't be a parent. I can’t be a parent,” she mutters the last part to herself a couple of times and you try to get her to look at you again to keep her from spiraling. “I cannot be another parent to Rachel! I'm not even ready to own a dog or take care of a plant. Oh I've killed so many plants. So many dead plants. And Rachel, she isn't a plant. She is a person and I can't,” you cut her off with a hug to stop her rambling. 

“Okay, shhh, shhh. It's okay,” you try to soothe Daisy as she sobs into your arms. “No one is asking you to be another parent to Rachel. She already has two mom's. She doesn't need-” 

“That's the thing, she doesn't. She has Wanda too.” Daisy holds her hand up to stop you from denying it. “I know what you're going to say. That it's not like that with her. But Rachel isn't her child and she was the first one to rush to her aid! She fought for her safety and I couldn't stop recording. She has instincts that I don't have. That I don't care to have. Not right now.” Daisy says and you don't know how to respond. You can tell her that you froze too but that won't mean much because you did eventually move. You can say that she's not expected to be a parent but you don't know how many more ways you can say it. “Wanda was able to get her family out here to support you and Rachel and I can't even get my dad here. Because he does hate you and he doesn't support us being together. Let's face it, I don't belong here. You and I… we don't work.” You open your mouth to try and come up with an argument but you fall short. You can't think of a reason for her to stay. This is the out that you were searching for months ago. A piece of you doesn't want this to be the end but it's not big enough to stop it from happening.

“So, this is it?” You say with a frown looking down at her keys and tears burning your eyes. No matter what, it hurts to say goodbye to a relationship that you've managed to maintain for months longer than you thought you could. 

“It has to be,” Daisy wipes her face with the back of her hand. You nod and hand her the keys that you held hostage.

“I understand,” you clear your throat. “Thank you for reminding me that I'm still young,” you say as she takes the keys. “And for letting me love you.” Her lips twitch at your words and she gives you a tight hug. 

“Please let me know when she is okay but after that… Please don't contact me. I'm going to need the space to get over you,” she says as she pulls away. 

“If that's what you want,” you reply. Daisy nods as she confirms it's what she wants. You walk away as she climbs into her car. You don't turn back because the thought of watching her leave is too painful. You don't want to experience the reality of it. Wanda is sitting on a park bench that is near the front doors of the hospital. “Hey you,” you greet as you get closer to her and try to hide the way you wipe your tears. “Didn't expect to see you out here,” she explains that what started as walking her brother out turned into her needing some fresh air as well. “Mind if I join you?” She nods as she scooches over to give you more space. 

“Everything okay with the girlfriend?” Wanda asks, sensing that whatever conversation that was had, wasn't a good one.

“Ex-girlfriend,” you correct, causing Wanda's eyebrows to shoot up and eyes to widen. “And everything is good with her. I think,” you look out into the parking lot and think about how scared she looked to be here. “I guess my reality finally spooked her and I don't have it in me to convince her to stay. It's not fair to tie her down to all of this,” you gesture to the hospital where your odd family lives. “Not when she has the option to leave.” 

Wanda nods in understanding. “Technically, even if she did marry you and have a kid with you, she'd always have the option to leave,” she states as she thinks back on this evening when Vision chose to take his other family on a vacation instead of staying even one night to watch her boys perform. She knew how important it was for Billy to have his father there. Tommy won't ever admit it but he was also excited to perform for his dad. “People aren't ever without options. We just make choices and learn to be okay with the consequences,” both you and Wanda turn to look at each other as she talks. “Whatever those may be.” 

You take in her words and nod slowly. “I never thought of it that way,” you admit. The two of you get quiet as you let the concept sink in.  “I heard Vision couldn't make it to the show,” you say conversationally. Wanda nods to confirm but doesn't elaborate on it further. She doesn't want to talk bad about her ex-husband anymore but he makes it so difficult. “Billy was really great on that stage. The kid is wicked talented,” you compliment and it makes Wanda smile. 

“Wanna know a secret?” She asks and you answer that you do. “He is named after William Shakespeare. I don't know how to explain it but ever since he was growing in me I had this image of him being wildly successful on stage and even on screen but mostly stage.” Wanda admits and it makes you smile a bit.

“That mother's intuition is strong with you,” you state and she shrugs. 

“I don't know how true that is,” she combs her hair with her fingers. “All I know is that you're the first person to see that potential in him. More than that, you’re the first person to get him to see it in himself.” You don't recall how you did such a thing and Wanda can sense your confusion. “When you complimented his dancing that one night, he took it to heart. I've seen that boy hurt himself time and time again to be more like his brother and get approval from his father but I think you got through to him.” She looks out to the parking lot. “I have never seen him happier and more free than I did tonight. Thank you for that.” She looks back to you and you give her a shrug this time. 

“I didn't realize I did anything so I won't take any credit for it,” you reply. “But thank you for telling me that.” You sigh as you look back into the building. “We should probably go back in there soon. There might be an update on Rachel.” 

Wanda agrees with a silent nod. “I could use a smoke right about now,” she admits and you scoff. 

“So could I,” you shake your head and look at the cigarette butts that litter the ground beneath the bench. “But I've been clean for forty-five days and I promised Jean that I'd stick with it this time. For Rachel.” 

“Glad to hear you're taking better care of yourself,” Wanda says. You ask if she's doing the same and she nods. “I never really had a bad habit of smoking, I've only ever done it occasionally. I don't think I've even opened the pack you gifted me,” she states as she stands up. “Okay, let's go back inside. We've been out here long enough.” 

“Alright,” you make a noise as you stand up and stretch. “Thank you for not asking if I'm okay,” you say with a small laugh. Wanda lets out a bigger one as she pats your back. The feeling of her hand on your back leaves a warm sensation.

“I didn't ask because I know you're not,” she says as the two of you walk into the building together. You find her statement as humorous as she does. The pair of you continue to talk as you walk back to the waiting area. Everyone looks at you when you return and you can tell that they notice the absence of Daisy but no one says a word about it. 

“Have you heard anything?” You ask Jean and she shakes her head. You nod and find a seat to get comfortable as the wait continues. As another hour passes with no update, everyone starts to get a little uneasy about what could be going on with the surgery. It didn't seem right to be waiting so long for another update. 

Your dad is the first one to start asking the nurses at the front desk for anything but he is told that if there's something to be told, someone will come out. Next it's your mom who believes she can be more persuasive. But she comes back with the same response. Her husband, Derek, who comes from money, thinks he can bribe one of the nurses to get more information but none of them take it and send him back to his seat with a threat that he will be removed from the hospital if he tries again. 

Kate is the next person to try and get information but she doesn't let anyone know that. She excuses herself to the restroom but as she walks around, she isn't looking for the restroom. She finds a clean set of scrubs along with a mask and scrub cap. From there, she makes her way to the locker room and finds a badge from one of the interns. She then walks through the operation hall and tries to find out where her niece is. When she does, she washes her hands before slipping in. She'll be damned if she compromises Rachel's health. Kate avoids looking at the table, unable to see her niece in that state of vulnerability, and instead searches for answers of the girl's condition. 

There are nurses and interns in the room that she notices are pretty chatty so she makes her way around the room listening closely and charming those that notice her presence. When she is able to get someone to talk about the patient on the table she tries to record it all in a notepad that she found when she was doing her snooping. She jotted all of the information down as if she was going to use it for studying later. But just as she thought she was going to excuse herself for the bathroom to leave, the intern she was chatting with asks if Kate will stay so that she can get a bathroom break. “I, well, um, I don't see why not,” she stumbles. The intern thanks her and walks out. She checks her smartwatch as seconds feel like minutes and minutes feel like hours. 

“Somewhere better to be?” The doctor says as he looks up from the table.

Everyone looks at Kate and she plays it off as though she doesn't know who he was talking to. “Me? No, no, I had sushi for lunch. From the gas station around the corner.” Everyone makes a noise as if each person in the room has had this made up experience. “Yeah, I probably should have listened to the warnings.” Kate holds her stomach and shifts uncomfortably. 

The doctor nods, “You're excused. Hopefully you don't make that mistake twice.” 

“Thank you, sir,” Kate says as she rushes to the exit to really sell it. She does stop at a bathroom to take a moment for herself before she has to sneak her way back out to her family. She looks over her notes again and again but hardly understands a word of it. So she calls Yelena to help her. Yelena isn't a medical student but she is the smartest person that Kate knows. The dial tone only goes twice before her friend answers. “I need your help,” she says before she explains her reasoning for the call. 

Together the two young women decipher the information that Kate was able to acquire. “You're a lifesaver, Yelena! I-” she stops herself from telling her friend that she loves her. She used to say it easily but since her feelings have developed further, it's become awkward. Especially after Kate tried to kiss Yelena. Her friend was sweet about it, and she said that if there was a person that she'd want that kind of life with it would be Kate. But as it is, she is asexual and aromantic. It's not something she can’t change about herself, it's just how she is. “I really appreciate the help. Thank you,” she says instead, then she bids her friend a happy holiday. She rushes out of the bathroom to get to the janitor's closet where she left her clothes. 

I can't believe I pulled that off, Kate thinks to herself as she straightens out her clothes. Without checking if the coast is clear, she steps out and bumps into a nurse. “That's not the bathroom!” Kate says to cover. The woman doesn't buy it and opens the door to find the scrubs in a pile on the floor. “Huh, I guess sex between the hospital staff isn't just for Grey's Anatomy,” Kate says as she looks at the scrubs as if for the first time. She smiles as the nurse makes a disbelieving facial expression at her. 

You are having a conversation with your stepdad about how he likes being in New York City when there is a lot of commotion coming from the halls. It's not until you and your mom and stepdad recognize Kate's voice that the three of you walk out of the area to see what's going on. She is being dragged out by two security guards as she swears that she only got lost looking for the bathroom. “I'll handle this,” Eleanor says as she follows the guards out of the hospital as they carry her daughter. 

You shake your head with a laugh as you walk back to your seat. Wanda asks what happened and you shrug and say that Kate must've done something illegal because she just got kicked out. “Are you serious?” Jean asks as she sits up from previously leaning on Anna’s shoulder. Derek confirms it and because the two of you are known for making up stuff at Jean's expense, she doesn't believe either of you until Eleanor returns to grab her things talking about how she has to take Kate home because they won't let the girl back into the hospital. Everyone has a laugh because they don't quite understand what has transpired in order to get Kate banned from the hospital for the foreseeable future. 

Eleanor leaves and it makes some of you laugh harder. It's clear that the stress of the situation has gotten to their heads but it's nice to have the moment that isn't overwhelmed by worry and fear. 

The moment is cut short, however, when the doctor clears his throat and addresses the room requesting the parents of Rachel Y/l/n-Grey.

Chapter 13

Taglist: @princessprudy @sayah13 @agaymilflover @awkwardmandalorian @bentleywolf29 @thatshyboy1998 @artisannat @thisischaismagic @wqndanat @madamevirgo @likefirenrain @tearsofglitter @feltlikethat @the-writer-arcane @natashasilverfox @karsonromanoff @aloneodi @lovelyy-moonlight @red1culous @jovialsublimecomputer @natasha-maximoff @iliketozoneout @doudouneverte @druggedduck @notbornbutforged @when-wolves-howl @lifespectator @justyourwritter69 @wandaromamoff69 @awesomelygayasf @nekoannie-chan @diaryoflife @wuwu96 @wandanats-goodgirl @sincerely-indi @blueredg52 @sisiwritesfanfics @fuzzyuniversityeclipsefriend @arcturusseer @scarlettwidow34 @chasethemoon @raven-ss @canyonyodeler @sokovianbaby @alexawynters @bittysworld @hopeless-romantic17177

[not-your-bro]

do you have any ud hcs? It could be anything idc

ooh, free rein! sure sure. josh + chris are def the characters i most frequently rotate in my mind, so some stuff about them off the top of my head...

josh

film studies major. i must admit i don't adhere to the psych major he's given in canon, though director/producer roles aren't my first choice for him either. he goes all-in on tangible stuff for his prank, so i put him in the practical effects arena.

artist in his spare time, but big surprise he's cagey about it. like, chris sees josh's sketchbook in josh's room all the time, but he's never actually looked inside.

with both movie sfx + art, josh is practical > digital, and he only dips into digital effects or art when he absolutely needs to. i just think he's a tactile sort of guy who prefers to make things with his hands, so creating on a screen alone doesn't give him the same satisfaction.

on social media in that he has accounts, but they're sporadically active at best. he can be slow to respond to texts/dms and his responses can be short, which gives off the impression that he's disengaged or bored. he isn't, he just doesn't want to be on his phone.

this is a longstanding hc of mine that i've absolutely mentioned before, but: designed hannah's butterfly tattoo! didn't really understand why, he was like you know your tattoo artist can do one for you, right. but she insisted, and he obliged.

gay as fuck. realized young, came out young, very comfortable. as demonstrated by the fact that, much to everyone's annoyance, he wears shirts that say shit like 'employee of the month at the dick sucking factory' in public.

chris

ok, so i've reached the point where the chris in my mind looks different enough that i get a little jumpscared when i see him in-game LMAO. i hc him both taller and heavier. he's gotta be at least 6 ft. and a chris hartley who's thin is no chris hartley at all. not to me.

does not come from money, like lower middle class. i have two totally different hcs about his family that both feel real to me: one is that he's an only child, his parents divorced when he was a kid (old enough to understand, but not quite a teenager), and he lives with his mom. the other is that his parents are not divorced, and he has a big family - lots of siblings. i've been going with the former in my fic lately, but both work for me. the constant is that his family's economic situation is more precarious than most people in the friend group, and family trips with (and funded by) the washingtons were his primary vacations.

has adhd. i find 'always on his phone bc he just loooves technology' less interesting than 'always on his phone bc he has existing attention problems.' this went undiagnosed for a while, and his performance in school suffered for it.

speaking of, he is not all-around school smart. like, emily may have strengths and weaknesses (even if she'd never admit them), but she can swing As across the board. chris cannot. he's getting good grades in classes that interest him or cater to his solution-oriented brain, but he's terrible in any class where there's no right answer. english, art - he does not get it. love him to death but his media literacy is Bad

bi as fuck, but it was a journey. thought he was straight for a long time, dismissing any attraction to men as a 'who hasn't had gay thoughts' kind of thing. i think it took him a while to come to terms with it bc he had a lot of internalized shit to work through. if a friend came out as bi, he'd have been like cool 👍 but him? surely not! he got there eventually though.

wowee this is long. as a lil bonus hc for another character, i'll add that i don't think jess went to college - i think she went to a hair/beauty school. she loves what a social job it is, getting to chit chat with clients all day, and like josh, she does best when she's working with her hands.

[elusive-writer]

Hello!!

I was wondering if you could write some head canons or a one shot about a non-binary reader x Kakyoin who always dances to the music on the radio? Its one of my favorite things to do when I’m playing 70’s-80’s music and I go unnecessarily hard lmao, if possible could you add the other crusaders but platonically?? Like maybe they are all in the car driving and then a song the reader likes comes on the radio and then they just start hitting the boogie in the passenger seat? I apologize if its kinda weirdly specific lol

Ah!! Hi there!

This is the first request I’ve gotten so I was super pumped to write this! And please don’t apologise! The more detail the better, gives me a better idea of what to write 🥰

This is my first time writing for a non-binary reader so I hope I did ok! Any and all feedback is majorly appreciated.

And since I couldn’t decide between head canons and a one shot, you get both lol

(I was also listening to a favourite 80s song of mine while writing this, so I hope it’s ok that it makes a little cameo in the one shot 😅)

I had a lot of fun writing this, so I hope you enjoy!

𝘒𝘢𝘬𝘺𝘰𝘪𝘯 𝘹 𝘕𝘉! 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘥𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘰

(feat. the other crusaders)

Word Count : 1.3k

Head Canons :

Kakyoin absolutely LOVES when your favourite tunes come on, almost as much as you do.

Because it means he gets to see you boogie to your heart’s content.

You might think it’s because he finds it funny, but it’s far from it.

Every time you dance to the radio he’s just mesmerised, he loves the energy you give into every move.

Since Kakyoin was quite reserved as a child, he never had moments where he could just jam out with someone.

So when you gesture for him to join you, he knows he’d be a fool not to.

The other crusaders see the goofy smile on his face every time the two of you dance together.

So they subtly (not so subtly) ensure that you guys just so happen to be partnered up when you stay in hotels.

They come to regret this when your dancing sessions carry late into the night.

Every now and then Jotaro will get sick of it so you’ll hear a muffled “Shut up!” from the next room.

You and Kakyoin giggle quietly as you turn down the radio.

They don’t mind too much though, the nature of this journey is bleak at times so the liveliness you and Kakyoin bring is a welcome breath of fresh air.

Polnareff and Joseph even join you two for a chance to boogie occasionally.

One Shot :

Mr Joestar’s snoring is the only sound that fills the air as you drive along the deserted road. You get an earful of it since you’re sitting in the middle of him and Polnareff, with the latter driving.

You wanted to sit next to Kakyoin but this seating arrangement was the only way all 6 of you would be able to fit in the car. He sat directly behind you, between Jotaro and Avdol.

You’ve been driving for hours with no breaks, there’s not much to do in the car so you start to grow restless.

[YOU] - “Ughhh, I’m so bored!!”

You groan as you plonk your head on the dashboard.

[POLNAREFF] - “Hey hey watch it!”

Polnareff yanks you back into an upright position.

[POLNAREFF] - “You’re gonna give yourself a concussion.”

[YOU] - “Maybe that would be a blessing in disguise. It’d be more interesting than this.”

You rotate in your seat, leaning on your knees to look into the back seat. Jotaro is leaning back with his hat over his face and Avdol is just looking out the window. You look at Kakyoin and he has his eyes closed, he must be sleeping as well. He looks so peaceful, and although you wanna let him rest… you also really wanna talk to him.

[YOU] - “C’mon…”

You wave your hands in front of you like you're trying to cast some kinda voodoo spell.

[YOU] - “Wake up.”

And to no one’s surprise your incantation fails. You sigh.

[AVDOL] - “Why don’t you try the radio?”

You turn your attention towards the fortune teller.

[AVDOL] - “Maybe we can get a signal out here.”

You immediately perk up at the idea and nod. Turning back around you start fiddling with controls. There’s only static but you don't stop trying. You’re about to throw in the towel but then you hear the radio crackle to life.

♪ ♪ ♫ ♪

Your face lights up when you recognise the melody.

[YOU] - “No fucking way!”

[JOTARO] - “Good grief could you be any louder?”

You turn your head and Jotaro is now sitting up, you shoot him an apologetic smile.

[KAKYOIN] - “Can you blame them? This one is one of their favourites.”

♪ Shake it up is all that we know ♪

You immediately spin back around onto your knees and meet Kakyoin’s gaze.

[YOU] - “Hey you’re awake!”

[KAKYOIN] - “I’ve actually been awake for a while.”

♪ Using the bodies up as we go ♪

You start moving your shoulders to the rhythm.

[JOTARO] - “Good grief here we go again.”

♪ I’m waking up to fantasy ♪

Kakyoin laughs when you start using an imaginary microphone to mouth the lyrics. You hold a hand out to him, still getting your groove on.

[YOU] - “C’mon I know you wanna join me.”

♪ Broken ice still melts in the sun ♪

How can he refuse when you’re looking at him like that? Kakyoin grabs your hand and proceeds to go HAM with you. It’s like y’all are at your own personal concert. Your fingers are intertwined as you both seemingly escape into the music.

[JOTARO] - “Great, now there’s two of them.”

Avdol chuckles at the display in front of them.

[AVDOL] - “This is good, a little spirit is never a bad thing-”

[YOU] - “YOU’RE OUT OF TOUCH.”

You hold the ‘microphone’ to Kakyoin.

[KAKYOIN] - “I’M OUT OF TIME.”

[YOU + KAKYOIN] - “BUT I’M OUT OF MY HEAD WHEN YOU’RE NOT AROUND!”

Jotaro just shakes his head while Avdol’s laughter fills the space in between you and Kakyoin’s singing (screaming)

It goes on like this for a while, the radio cycles through the songs, and you and Kakyoin give an oscar worthy performance to every single one of them. Polnareff turns up the radio so you can really give it your all, Avdol joins in for some of the songs, and you even manage to get a tiny smirk from Jotaro.

It’s cut short when the radio stops while you’re in the middle of a song.

[YOU] - “Hey driver, what happened to the music?”

You hear a bit of fidgeting before he answers.

[POLNAREFF] - “Looks like we lost the signal.”

The disappointment is evident on your faces.

[KAKYOIN] - “You’re kidding.”

[POLNAREFF] - “Nope, unfortunately I’m not.”

You groan and plop your head on the headrest.

[YOU] - “Man…”

Kakyoin feels bad seeing you so downcast. His eyes fall on your hand that he still has in his grasp, thinking of how to improve your mood. And then an idea hits him.

[KAKYOIN] - “Hey Polnareff, you and Mr Joestar got this car second hand yeah?”

Polnareff looks at him through the rearview mirror.

[POLNAREFF] - “Yeah that’s right.”

He squeezes your hand gently to get your attention. You look up at him.

[KAKYOIN] - “Why don’t you check the glove compartment? Maybe the owner left some discs in there.”

Your eyes widen and you shoot up (almost hitting your head on the roof). His heart melts at the sight of your radiant smile.

[YOU] - “Kakyoin you beautiful genius!”

You grab the sides of his face and give him a peck on the lips. Jotaro and Avdol stifle their laughter as Kakyoin proceeds to malfunction when you turn around to search the compartment.

Opening it up there’s a small pile of discs there, you immediately pick them up and examine them.

[YOU] - “Score!”

You hold up one of the discs to show to Kakyoin.

[YOU] - “They have Wham! in here!”

[JOSEPH] - “What did you just say?”

Looking to the side you see that the old man’s awake, he looks a little startled.

[POLNAREFF] - “You’re finally awake Mr Joestar! I'm surprised you didn’t wake up sooner, we had the music pretty loud.”

Kakyoin leans forward in his seat.

[KAKYOIN] - “Are you ok Mr Joestar?”

You hold up the disc to him.

[YOU] - “Don’t tell me you’ve never heard of Wham! before.”

[JOSEPH] - “You can’t be serious.”

[AVDOL] - “I’m pretty sure they are Mr Joestar, Wham! is very popular.”

[JOTARO] - “Good grief old man, is your age catching up with you?”

The haunted look doesn’t leave Mr Joestar’s face as you look over the other discs with Kakyoin.

[KAKYOIN] - “What was that one you were showing me the other day… oh yeah! Do they have AC/DC?”

[YOU] - “Mhm! Oooo, they even have Santana.”

Your eyes light up when they land on a particular CD.

[YOU] - “Oh. My. God! Let’s put on Cars!“

[JOSEPH] - “HERMIT PURPLE!”

The discs are suddenly snatched out of your hands with purple vines and flung out the open window. You gawk at Mr Joestar as your only form of entertainment disappears into the dust. Kakyoin does his best to console you for the remainder of the drive.

[bizlybebo]

Do you have any OCs? :0

THIS IS SERIOUSLY SUCH AN AWESOME ASK TO GET IM RRGWHRHNEMGMTMWKE

not entirely sure whether you meant for jrwi or like. in general but i can do a short explanation of some ocs i have from both categoriea ^__^ !!!!

—-

bad photo + not super proud of the drawing but here’s an oc i made for apotheosis back in february ish ^__^ i settled on Raph (just pronounced raff) for a name i think. if i remember right i was theorizing a lot about the gods of that world and made this Lil Guy as some weird griffon-inspired angel or Something that was cast down + had his heart torn out in the process. he’s like old and shit cause he’s. an angel. but mentally he’s around 13-14. still haven’t finished apotheosis so the information i’ve retained from that campaign is horribly incorrect and not a lot but yeah ^__^

don’t have a great proper drawing for my next one (at least not w/o digging through my sketchbook) but here’s a little doodle of one i made for prime defenders!!! Axel my beloved,, some mutuals may recognize her. i made him after the whole expansion on depowering in season 2, and basically made this Fucked Up Guy who was able to steal said depowered powers. dont ask too much its very handwavey bullshit science stuff. it’s a very painful + slow process, though, and she can only steal one power set at a time. not pictured but xe has a really sick robot arm, which is the only reason why xe can do this— otherwise, xy’re just powerless. ^__^ he’s also got a lot of imagery relating to king midas since her powers lead to a similar effect/pitfall. very cool xy’re my toxic yuri oc

—

okkk and then heres a doodle of robin, my most recent DnD oc i made for a campaign im in. typical bastard character with a dead sister, whos apparitions haunt her. she refuses to believe she’s dead, though, insisting that she’s only missing, and is currently set out on a mission to find her. she’s a very performative person,, talks big and loud and distracts people while she steals their stuff. really smooth talker but genuinely dumb as rocks i love her a lot<3

other honorary mentions of ttrpg characters ive played in the past who i miss dearly: reese, mica, rosalie, and margaret.

——

and then as an original fiction writer i have. A Lot of ocs so im not gonna show them all off but. shoutout to aphid and flick, the two ive been rotating the most in my head lately. theyre from this super cool but very fucked up steampunk/futuristic world. most codependent bitches on the planet. all the drawings i have of them are also in my sketchbook which im too lazy to dig through but heres a rough doodle of what they look loke:

^ flick is on the left, aphid the right. my lil guys <33

[csphire]

Some headcanons about Dammon that I use in my fics or keep in mind when writing him.

His favorite food is pizza. He makes really-really-REALLY good pizza and lasagna too. But given that he's a tiefling he needs to make both with larger amounts of meat than what is usually found back on Earth. Wanna try meatza, anyone?

He only makes lasagna on special occasions as it takes a bit more time to prepare it before putting it into the oven.

He likes baking more than stovetop cooking due to the precise measurements and the fact he can put something into an oven, and he's free to do something else.

He doesn't think to invest in installing a kitchen into his home until around a few weeks after the Absolute Plot has been resolved. Before then he would frequent the Blushing Mermaid for a bite to eat as needed or use his forge to grill or warm something up.

On his days off he'll usually go into a full-on baking and meal prep frenzy. He plans out his meals for the week so all he needs to do when he gets done working is take a dish out of the ice box and heat it up in a stove.

Aside from pizza, he lives on a variety of casseroles, sandwiches, and roasts. Breakfast is usually eggs and bacon. Yep, no worries about cholesterol in Faerûn. He strikes me as a real meat and potatoes kinda guy but, I would not be surprised if he indulged in spices to put some heat into his meals too.

He knows about Earth-correction, he knows a lot about Earth. To the point he will nerd out over our world's technology and other marvels if the topic is ever brought up. This is due to there are few people whom he can talk to about that place. Fewer still whom can wrap their heads around a world that lacks any magic and where all inhabitants are humans who have managed to come up with a variety of ways to harness lighting/electricity to adapt and thrive.

When it comes to his tools he's a little particular over who touches or moves them. His favorite hammer he's especially not keen on anyone else using. His tools, after all, are his livelihood. And once he gets better ones in Baldur's Gate his possiveness over them only eases up a little bit. Due to the fact, he can at least afford to get a backup set. He takes great care of his tools and likes them arranged and put away just so. It's not a good idea to use or borrow them without asking unless you want to start an argument.

He's always on the hunt for better tools and methods to further perfect his craft. Making basic weapons and armor he can do that in his sleep to pay the bills. Repairs and sharpening don't take him long at all too. But deep down, he would rather make something special and keep challenging himself.

I like to think he's got a love/hate relationship with infernal machinery and iron. He's awed by anything powerful. But like most, I don't think he likes the terrible cost most infernal machinery demands, which is the complete destruction of souls.

He can get sucked into what he's working on and completely lose track of time. As a result, he might stand someone up on a date or be late for an event. Sometimes he might need someone to remind him to take a break. Yes, he's prone to neglect his needs and others when hyperfocused on something.

Like most tieflings, he's ambidextrous and rotates his hammering from one hand to another to minimize strain on his arms. Still, there are times when he pushes himself too hard and needs a long soak in an Epsom salt bath.

Most of the time he smells like a mix of matchsticks (sulfur), coal dust, and the tang of whatever metal he's working on, which is mostly iron. Due to his infernal biology, he doesn't sweat nearly as much as a human or elf would. But at the end of the day, like most, he needs and takes the time to wash up.

He's more of a listener than a talker. Idle chit-chat and small talk he struggles with a little. But bring up Earth or anything related to making things with metal, not just weapons and armor, he's fully locked into the conversation and enthusiastic.

He's not just a blacksmith but a budding Artificer if he's not already one. Dammon after all literally knows how to make explosives and could easily subclass into an Armorer, Artillerist, or Battle Smith.

Both his parents are alive and well to his knowledge. Details I've come up about them are here. His father still lives in Elturel and did not want Dammon to leave. He suggested Dammon hide his true appearance with spells in order to pass as elven and stay in the city. This led to them parting on some disagreeable terms and hurt feelings. At this time, Dammon has no idea where his mother is and has not seen her in a few years. He's not greatly concerned by this and is used to it.

Dammon's childhood was a little lonely especially after his mother left. An only child and only tiefling during his school years he struggled to socialize with others. Did he get bullied for being the only kid with a tail and horns? Of course. But not all of his peers were jerks and he managed to make a few friends.

I like to think once Dammon was old enough to attend dances, balls, and other social functions he started crossing paths with Rolan who was struggling to work himself into the wizarding circles in Elturel. Rolan may have been motivated to befriend Dammon to open more doors and snag social invites but only at first. In the end, they do have a genuine friendship. Thanks to Rolan, Dammon was introduced to more tieflings outside of his father's uptight social circle. Being among his mother's people was healing and helped him come out of his shell if only a little.

That's all I got for now. I wish we could have gotten to know him better and gotten more content with him in a DLC. No hate towards Larian over that, my ire is solely over Hasbro for laying off the staff at Wizard of The Coast who were working with Larian for years. Shattering that working relationship was an extremely stupid move on Hasbro's part.

[calamity-calliope]

Been thinking a lot lately about New Sequence navy uniforms, because personally, the way I see it, their uniforms are a bit different than the regular, non-cult navy uniforms. Which lead me to, voilà:

This guy. Who just sort of popped up while I was drawing sailors. (As one does.) For sake of reference I will call him Deckhand Paul. Average 19th-century sailor design. Anyway.

Main detail I changed is that the stripes on the tar flap are gold instead of the usual white. (There isn't much to work with on a sailor uniform they're pretty plain)

But then:

BOOM. Paul back view. Gold stripes on the tar flap clearer, and the detail that I have been rotating in my head all day. That being the gold ring around the top of the flat hat. Specifically to resemble a halo. A holy symbol that suggests purity and divinity. You know, for the do-or-die devoted warriors of a powerful god. You know.

[gladumfdoodles]

okay so i might be a bit late for the prompt thing but i shall throw two at you anyway (i might use these for myself later too sakjdfhas)

the s7 sewer cats as actual cats

and a jellie being some from of eldritch creature :)

i decided to go with the second prompt because I was already rotating an idea like that in my mind before I asked for prompts aksnoansksnaj

word count: 976

characters: scar and jellie

-

Scar winced as he stood up, his back aching from being bent over for so long. He brushed the chalk off of his hands as he examined his handiwork, a rune circle traced neatly in the middle of his living room floor, the rug that normally sat there discarded in a pile off to the side. He flipped a few pages in his book, then nodded to himself, satisfied.

“That should do it, I think.�� One by one, he laid out five candles, half used, in a pentagram shape along the edge of the circle, then lit each individual one with a quick fire spell that any young witch could show off proudly. With that step done, he turned back to his book to read out the incantation written within it.

“Alright, here goes nothing!” He declared to the empty room. “𝙹 ↸ᒷ⍊𝙹⚍∷ᒷ∷ 𝙹⎓ ᓭ𝙹⚍ꖎᓭ, 𝙹 ↸╎⍊╎リᒷ ↸ᒷᒲ𝙹リ 𝙹⎓ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ ↸ᒷ!¡ℸ ̣ ⍑ᓭ, 𝙹 ⊣∷ᒷᔑℸ ̣ ᓭ⍑ᔑ!¡ᒷᓭ⍑╎⎓ℸ ̣ ᒷ∷, ╎ ᓭ⚍ᒲᒲ𝙹リ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷᒷ ∴╎ℸ ̣ ⍑ ℸ ̣ ⍑|| ℸ ̣ ∷⚍ᒷ リᔑᒲᒷ, ℸ ̣ ⍑ᔑℸ ̣ ||ᒷ ᒲᔑ|| ⊣∷ᔑリℸ ̣ ⚍リℸ ̣ 𝙹 ᒲᒷ ∴⍑ᔑℸ ̣ ᒲ╎リᒷ ⍑ᒷᔑ∷ℸ ̣ ↸ᒷᓭ╎∷ᒷᓭ ᒲ𝙹ᓭℸ ̣. ᓵ𝙹ᒲᒷ ⚍リℸ ̣ 𝙹 ᒲᒷ, ⋮ᒷꖎꖎ╎ᒷ, ╎ ∴ᒷꖎᓵ𝙹ᒲᒷ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷᒷ!”

A low rumbling began to spread through the ground, like an earthquake, and the many potion bottles and hanging herbs began to rattle and shake as the temperature in the room dropped by several degrees. The candles in the circle blew out simultaneously, plunging the room into darkness, and Scar scrambled to cast a light, fingers slipping as he tried to cast in darkness.

The oxygen in the room was definitely being sucked away by something, the air was thinning and he was gasping like he’d just run the entire way to the town, despite having done nothing but stand. There was a deep growl coming from the middle of the living room, but he couldn’t tell if it was normal or not because he couldn’t see.

This whole summoning business was a lot scarier in the dark, he decided.

On his fourth attempted casting, he managed to create a small sphere of blue light hovering above his hand, and he breathed out a sigh of relief, only to turn and see just what exactly he had summoned.

It was a vast thing, taking up the entire span of his living room. It had too many limbs, and not enough, gripping onto his couches, his table, his bookshelves. It was darker than the air around it, absorbing the light, swallowing it up in its terrifying, impossible to understand bulk. There were eyes, eyes along its entire frame, piercingly green, staring into his soul, tearing away at his life force, it knows what he has done and it knows what he will do, it is all knowing and all powerful and–

“Oh my gosh, you are just so dang cute!” Scar clapped his hands together, nearly dousing his light on accident. “Oh, I picked the right demon, yes I did, yes I did! You are so cute, I love you so much!”

The creature seemed to shrink slightly, its limbs decreasing in value and its eyes becoming less piercing.

“I am so glad you’re here! I have a very important question for you, I’ve read this book from cover to cover, or at least, I almost have, I skipped some pages, but it says that you can sometimes act as a familiar, and boy have I been struggling to find a familiar, let me tell you!” Scar shook his head. “They just don’t seem to like me, not that there’s anything wrong with me! I’m a perfectly nice guy, they just can’t handle how awesome I am, right? Anyway, the important question. Do you want to be my familiar?”

The creature stared at him, though it wasn’t with the same intensity as before. It felt more…perplexed than anything else.

“If not, that’s okay, I’ll dismiss you and you can go back to frolicking in…where do you come from? The planes of hell?” Scar peered over at his book, trying to discern where exactly he’d summoned this demon from. “It doesn’t say, that’s weird. Well, wherever it is, I’m sure it’s–oh!”

The creature was gone from the living room, having disappeared when he looked down at the book. Or at least, he thought so, until he heard a soft meow coming from the middle of the summoning circle. When he looked down, he saw a cat, a gray tabby with a white belly, sitting in the direct center of the chalk circle. It looked up at him with the same bright green eyes that it had had when it was an eldritch being beyond knowing, though they weren’t quite as piercing or as intense as before.

“Oh, why hello there!” Scar crouched down, holding out his arms. “I didn’t think it was possible for you to get cuter! Look at you! Does this mean that you’ll be my familiar?”The cat meowed, trotting out of the circle to rub up against his legs and jump into his lap.

Scar immediately sat down, crossing his legs so that she would have a more comfortable position to lie in.

“I think I’ll take that as a yes!” He ran his hands along her fur, and it was softer than anything he’d felt before. “Oh, Jellie, we are going to be the best of friends, I just know it! You’re going to love being my familiar, I promise, and we’re going to have the best adventures, making potions, cursing evil villains, charming beautiful men and handsome women, oh, it’s going to be so much fun!”

Jellie curled up in his lap and yawned, and if her mouth had too many pointed teeth within it, well, that was no one’s business but hers.

[monthofsick]

The longest Night

Nov(emeto)ber 2022, Day 30: 5 + 1

OCs: Jamal, Nikita

The title fits quite well because this actually is my longest story so far and I just spent the entire night finishing it. It's already early morning of December 1st where I live, but I hope it still counts as an entry. There are a lot of themes and tropes I love in this one and the relationship between Jamal and Nikita evolves even more. It's late/early, I'm tired and time was ticking, so proof reading had to be done a bit quicker. Hopefully, there aren't too many mistakes and you can still enjoy it!

TW: Vomit, illness, mild scat

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A hesitant knock on the door disrupted Jamal's sleep. He woke up with a jolt and was instantly hit by a jab in the neck. Had he fallen asleep at his desk again? Jamal grimaced and rubbed his stiff muscles. The shorter days and cloudy skies drained his energy. Sooner or later, Jamal would get used to the changes in sunlight exposure and weather and the autumn fatigue would wear off. Until then, he had a hard time getting things done.

 "Hello?" An insecure voice, followed by some more tapping. Jamal had only been half aware of the sound that had ripped him out of a rather bizarre dream. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and cleared his throat to sound more awake.

 "I'm here!" Rotating his head to get a little crack out of his nape, Jamal got up and rushed to the door. A stocky young man with brown curls and dark eyes was waiting outside, staring at Jamal like he was surprised by him stepping out of his own dorm room. Jamal knew that his name was Karl and that he lived on the same floor. They didn't share any courses, but they sometimes chatted while brushing their teeth in the morning. It wasn't that Jamal could write a psychological evaluation of his fellow student, but he definitely hadn't seen that concerned and insecure expression on his face before.

 "Hey, I hope I'm not bothering you, but I'm a bit worried right now and I didn't really know who to turn to."

 "Yeah, sure." Jamal was confused. Karl had two of his closest friends in the rooms right next to him. He and Jamal got along well, but they weren't confidants. "Wanna come in?"

 "Ah, no, you should come along." Karl pointed his thumb in the direction of the community bathroom. "You're close with Nikita, aren't you? I mean, the guy doesn't have a lot of friends and he made it pretty clear that he wanted me to, uhm, leave, so…"

 "Wait, what's wrong with Nikita?" Jamal was suddenly wide awake. "Is he sick?"

 "I don't know exactly, he didn't want to tell me." Karl rubbed his palms nervously. "He locked himself in a toilet for at least two hours."

 "Fuck. I'm coming with you."

 It actually was the other way around – Jamal storming down the corridor with huge steps, Karl tagging along. The bathroom was empty, as usual at this time of day. It was a bright and nicely renovated area with small toilet rooms instead of cubicles with a gap at the bottom. At least a bit more privacy in a place they had to share with everyone else on the floor.

 Jamal took a deep breath and knocked on the only door that was shut tight.

 "Hey, it's me", he announced himself. "Can you let me in, Nik?"

 There was a moment of silence. A weird, strained noise. And then, to Jamal's relief, the door was opened slowly and Nikita peeked out. He looked like death warmed over. Nikita was always pale, but right now his complexion resembled a sickly green. Quickly, before Karl could see the blonde in this miserable state, Jamal slipped in and locked the door behind him again.

 "How do you know?" Nikita's voice was cold as ice, but his lips trembled slightly.

 "Karl told me." Undeterred by his friend's standoffish demeanor, Jamal put both hands on Nikita's shoulders. His entire body shivered so hard that Jamal was surprised he could stand at all. "I'm glad he did. You look like absolute shit. Now stop giving me the evil eye and tell me what's wrong."

 It was obvious that Nikita struggled with himself. He was all about control and he still had a hard time showing any kind of vulnerability, even towards Jamal. In the end, Nikita's body made the choice for him as his knees gave in. Gladly, Jamal had trained his fast responses well and he caught Nikita with both arms before he collapsed. Holding him close, Jamal got down on the floor and brushed some sweaty strands of light hair out of Nikita's forehead.

 "Don't worry, I got you." Jamal felt the heat radiating from Nikita's body, his unsteady breath and damp skin. There was no question wether he was sick, only what exactly he suffered from. "Come on, Nick, just let me know what's bothering you. I'll do what I can to help you."

 "I… I suddenly felt so sick." Nikita exhaled and it seemed like all of his strength and defiance left his body with his breath. He sank against Jamal's chest and held on to his shirt with one hand. "I was fine after lunch, but then it got so bad I had to leave during class."

 "Did you have to throw up? Or lost it from the other end?"

 "Nope, not at all." A humorless laugh escaped Nikita's lips. "I thought I would, guess why I made a run for the restroom. Been waiting for it ever since. It feels like it's coming up every second, but it doesn't. Fuck me."

 "God, Nik. I wish I had known earlier." Jamal hugged Nikita for a moment. He had often joked about Nikita's claims that he never puked. It was the reason they had bonded in the first place. That night in the locker room when Jamal had found Nikita, dead drunk and sick to his stomach, but unable to purge the poison. Even in this highly intoxicated state, Nikita had needed Jamal's assistance to vomit. Maybe it was a process his body struggled with for whatever reason. Or Nikita had conditioned himself to hold it in at all costs.

 With a husky moan, Nikita squirmed in Jamal's arms. The blonde clutched his stomach like he wanted to rip out the pain with bare hands. His face contorted with a silent retch. It looked absolutely excrutiating.

 "We gotta get that stuff out of you." Jamal grabbed Nikita's shoulders again and straightened him up just enough to look him in the eyes. "Do you want me to help you?"

 Nikita hesitated. Then he flinched and moaned, probably because of another cramp. He let out a defeated sigh and nodded weakly.

 "Guess I don't have much of a choice. It can't be worse than this."

 "Trust me, it will be a huge relief." Putting on his most encouraging smile, Jamal moved Nikita closer to the toilet. "Come on, let's get it over with."

 Visibly reluctant, Nikita got on his knees and bent over the bowl. Jamal leaned over Nikita's arched back, putting one hand on his rumbling stomach, the other one on his chin. Nikita tensed in his grip.

 "Try to relax, Nik." Jamal touched Nikita's lips with two fingers, asking to be let in. For a second, it seemed like Nikita would back out, but then he opened his mouth. Jamal rubbed Nikita's belly in gentle circle, feeling it bubble like overboiling water. When Nikita eased up a bit, Jamal let his fingers slide in. As soon as he touched the slick surface of the tongue, it tried to push him out again. Undaunted by the counterattack, Jamal moved along Nikita's palate until he reached the back of his tongue, then held it down. It was enough to trigger a first gag.

 Nikita's head bobbed back to escape the nauseating procedure, but Jamal had a firm grip on his chin. A drip of viscous saliva ran down Jamal's hand. That was a good sign. Nikita's body took protective measures against the impending storm tide of gastric acid.

 "I know this is bad, but I promise it won't take long", Jamal reassured Nikita as he went in deeper. A violent retch shook Nikita's body as Jamal's fingers slipped down his throat. Jamal felt the muscles tightening around his fingers. He gently moved back and forth, ignoring the teeth that dug into the back of his hand and the drool that kept on flowing over his skin. Nikita retched helplessly, his stomach contracting harshly with every heave. Jamal pushed against his abdomen in sync with the convulsions, firmly pressing in and upwards. "You're almost there, Nik, just let it happen."

 Nikita choked wetly. His back tensed and curved even more, pushing against Jamal who mimicked his posture, hugging him from behind. It was a weirdly intimate moment, being so close to each other in this deeply private and vulnerable situation. Jamal kept on stroking the back of Nikita's throat, his slight moves inducing frantic spasms. Nikita's face was flushed and tears ran from his eyes with each gag Jamal forced out of him. He was close.

 Speeding up his tiny movements, Jamal rubbed against Nikita's uvula. The blonde jerked forward with another throaty heave, causing Jamal's fingers to thrust in even deeper. Every single muscle in Nikita's body seemed to tighten up and cramp all at once until suddenly, a surge of hot liquid gushed over Jamal's hand.

 "There you go, get it all out." Jamal let his fingertips stroke down Nikita's tongue as he pulled back, eliciting another retch from him. Before Jamal had a chance to get his hand out of the way, Nikita puked up a much bigger surge of orange mush. Jamal felt the thick, warm fluid and a few chunks slide over his skin and he had to swallow a gag himself. Yes, it was gross, but he couldn't let it show when Nikita had finally let down his guard.

 Lurching dangerously close to the vomit-spattered bowl, Nikita gurgled up more of his meal. The color and texture looked disturbingly close to pumpkin soup, probably what had been on the cafeteria's menu today. It splashed back and coated the white ceramic walls in pureed Hokkaido. Jamal pulled Nikita even closer to prevent him from dunking into the rising lake of barf. With only one clean hand at his disposal, Jamal stroked Nikita's hitching chest with his thumb while he held him up.

 Bigger orange lumps fell out of Nikita's mouth and plopped heavily into the puke below. He coughed and spat several times before he slackened in Jamal's grip.

 "You did great", Jamal smiled and sat up, pulling Nikita with him. The blonde looked even worse than before, eyes half closed, his face reddish and covered in sweat, tears and vomit. Jamal wiped off the mess, then cautiously leaned Nikita into a corner to keep him stable and upright. He flushed and cleaned the toilet, then thoroughly washed the sticky throw-up from his hand. Finally, he returned to Nikita. "Feeling better?"

 Nikita nodded faintly. It was enough for Jamal to decide upon a change of location. It was about time his friend could snuggle into his own bed instead of lying on the cold restroom floor.

 -

 Shivering and exhausted, Nikita was sitting on his bed, blanket pullet up to his chin. He had his own electric kettle in his room, so Jamal poured him a cup of ginger tea. Curled up in himself, Nikita took small sips while staring into the void. Jamal sat down next to him.

 "How y're holding up?", he asked, stroking Nikita's head.

 "I don't know. Still nauseous." Nikita bit his lip. "It's okay, you can go now. I'm going to sleep anyways, I'm done with this day."

 "No way, I'm not gonna leave you alone."

 "…and that's how you're gonna get yourself sick." With a grim expression, Nikita carefully drank from the steaming hot beverage, then put it away on the nightstand. "I'm not a kid. I can take care of myself."

 "So what. Maybe it's just food poisoning." Jamal shrugged and leaned back. "I'm going nowhere. Bed's big enough for both of us. By the way, I pretty much pulled the puke out of your stomach with my bare hands. If this is contagious, I've probably caught it already."

 "Whatever. Don't complain if I say I told you so." Nikita tried to act unmoved, but only a moment later, he froze, eyes slightly widened. "Hand me a bucket."

 "Damn it." Jamal jolted up. He wasn't sure if Nikita would actually throw up on his own this time, but he didn't want to find out the hard – or rather, soft and mushy way. The fact that Nikita cupped his mouth with one hand definitely wasn't a good sign. "Try to hold it in!"

With a big leap, Jamal plunged towards the desk and grabbed the trash can. Immediately back on his feet, he spun around and got back to Nikita with two strides. He placed the bin under Nikita's lap, just in time before a spurt of amber liquid burst from the blonde's lips. Jamal held Nikita's head in place while he gagged up mouthful after mouthful of runny vomit. It hit the scrunched up paper and wrappers with a crinkling sound.

 "Tea didn't want to stay down, mh?" Every last bit of color drained from Nikita's face as he burped up a slimy mixture of ginger brew and bile. For a while, Nikita kept on hanging over the trash bin, eyes closed, mouth open, long strands of drool clinging to his lip. Jamal watched him closely. "Think you're done?"

 After a few more seconds, Nikita spat out and replied with a nod. Jamal got a paper tissue from a box on the desk, then wiped off Nikita's mouth. Fortunately, there was a trash bag in the bin that he could take out easily and knot up on top to seal away the sour odor. Good thing Nikita was such a tidy person. Jamal put in another bag and placed the bucket next to the bed.

 "Gonna get rid of this, try to rest."

 Nikita growled something unintelligable before he sank back into his pillow and pulled the covers all the way up. When Jamal returned, Nikita already slept deeply and soundly. Jamal slowly lay down behind him. It was a tight fit on the matress, but at least Jamal was sure he would notice if Nikita got sick again. He cuddled up to his friend and it wasn't long before he dozed off.

 -

 When Jamal opened his eyes again, it was almost dark in the room. He wasn't sure what had woken him up – a movement? A noise? Nikita was still huddled against him, breathing calmly, but something wasn't right. It was the unmistakable stench of partly digested and fermented food, mixed with bile and stomach acid. Jamal pushed himself up to assess the situation. Nikita had vomited in his sleep. A heap of brownish-orange chunks piled up right next to his mouth, part if it smeared on his cheek.

 With a quiet sigh, Jamal rolled out of bed. Armed with the entire box of tissues, he picked up the soggy mass. At least it was mostly solids – it actually looked a lot like thick baby food with some bigger lumps. As gently as possible, Jamal cleaned the sick from Nikita's skin. It hadn't been long since Nikita had thrown up, the puke hadn't dried yet and could easily be wiped away. Jamal was conflicted. Nikita's barf mountain had left a stain on the pillowcase, but it seemed rather superficial. Leaving Nikita on a dirty cushion obviously wasn't an ideal solution. If it meant that he didn't need to be disturbed and could sleep through the night, it still seemed like the better option.

 Jamal took off his shirt and placed it in front of Nikita's face. It covered the wet spot and offered extra layers of protection if Nikita expelled more of his stomach contents. Weird how Jamal's hands-on assistance seemed to have pulled a plug. Now the vomit had literally spilled out of Nikita on its own. It was probably better for him.

 Nikita looked so different while he was asleep, almost peaceful. Jamal wondered if it was cold were Nikita came from. It would have fit him. Everything about him was so light – his hair, his skin, even his eyelashes. He belonged in the snow. Absentmindedly, Jamal watched Nikita for a little while until a yawn reminded him that a good night's rest wouldn't hurt him either. He made himself comfortable again and hoped that both of them would be awakened by the sun in the morning.

 -

 Actually, it was a thud that ended Jamal's slumber this time. The dull noise was startling enough to drown any sleepiness in adrenaline. Jamal looked up and found the bed next to him empty. Nikita was nowhere to be seen. Anxiously, Jamal raised himself – and discovered Nikita lying behind the bed. So the source of the mysterious sound had been Nikita's body hitting the floor.

 Jamal jumped out of bed and helped Nikita into a sitting position.

 "What the fuck are you doing?" The words sounded way more accusatory than Jamal had intended. Nikita looked up with a frown.

"How does it look like to you?" As Jamal didn't answer, Nikita pursed his lips. "I wanted to go the bathroom because what else would I do right now?"

"Have you noticed the bucket right next to your bed? You should have, you've used it before."

"Oh come on, do I really have to explain?" Nikita attempted to get up on his own, but he lacked the strength in his legs. There was a feverish gleam in his eyes.

"You should have still woken me up", Jamal sighed, put both arms around Nikita and lifted him up.

"I don't need you to wipe my ass", Nikita grumbled and tried not to lean on Jamal too heavily.

"Trust me, you need a whole lot more than that if you don't even make it to the toilet." Just to be safe, Jamal grabbed the trash bin with his free hand. "Why are you so stubborn?"

"I'm not." Nikita turned his head to the side, but Jamal still noticed a tinge of red on his cheeks. It stood out against his pallid face. Maybe he was actually way more embarrassed than sulky. Didn't change the fact that he was an idiot.

Jamal put his arm around Nikita's upper body to support him if he should stumble again. After a few steps, Nikita gave up his futile resistance and sank against Jamal. By the time they entered the bathroom, he was bent double, holding his stomach and moving along with a weird shuffle. He probably had to clutch his butt cheeks tightly to prevent an accident. Still, he tried to push Jamal away as they entered the toilet room.

"You wait outside. No discussion." As urgent as matters were, Nikita didn't move a single inch further.

"Hey, I'm not gonna judge you." Jamal's voice was much softer than before. "And I really don't want you to go through this alone."

"No way", Nikita groaned and snatched the bucket from Jamal's hand.

"Fine. But don't lock the door, I need to get to you if you pass out or something." With a deep sigh, Jamal closed the door behind Nikita and leaned against one of the sinks. Of course, Nikita had a right to privacy. Maybe he had pushed him too much. He just wished Nikita would understand that there was no need to be ashamed. He was sick, he couldn't help it. If he felt better once he had relieved himself, it was all that mattered.

Through the closed door, Jamal heard Nikita moan, followed by a splatter. A retch, then even more splatter. Jamal winced in sympathy. Good thing Nikita had a receptacle on both ends. Judging from the sounds, he emptied himself quite forcefully in either direction. The groans and gags and sighs he produced left no doubt that he was in pain. Jamal wanted to hug him and hold up the bin for him and rub his back or his stomach, but he knew his presence would only make things worse for Nikita. He had to loosen up and let everything flow out of him freely, which he wouldn't do while someone was watching him.

After what seemed like forever, Jamal heard the toilet flush. There was the patter of liquid hitting liquid, then a second flush. Unsteady steps approached the door and finally, it was pushed open. Nikita's face had turned green, lips slightly parted, legs trembling. He didn't seem to notice that there was still viscid vomit dripping from his chin.

"Come here, Nik." Jamal pulled the shivering blonde into a close embrace, even if it meant to get some puke on his chest. Jamal had cursed Nikita's thick skull not too long ago, but he couldn't be mad at him. The poor guy felt horribly sick and it hurt to see him suffer like this. Jamal stroked back Nikita's hair and placed a kiss on his forehead. He didn't even think twice about it. "You're doing great. Now let's get you cleaned up and back to bed."

With the smallest of steps, Jamal guided Nikita to one of the basins and washed his face. Then he made sure to wipe off the stains from his own skin. Even though Nikita had apparently emptied the bucket into the toilet, the trash bag was still blotted with sick, so Jamal discarded it. He pulled Nikita closer to hold him upright before they slowly made their way back to Nikita's room. It worried Jamal how quiet his friend had become. Suddenly, he almost wished for some snarky remark.

It was the same procedure as before – Jamal tucked Nikita in and put a new bag in the bin. Then he crawled under the covers and hugged Nikita from behind.

"Is it a little better?", he asked, hoping for at least some kind of answer. "Think you can sleep?"

Nikita nodded and moved even closer. A faint smile flitted across Jamal's face. He waited for Nikita's breath to slow down until he closed his eyes and allowed himself to drift off as well.

-

Pale morning light seeped in through the fogged up window as Jamal was alarmed by a sudden motion. He blinked in confusion, still drowsy, and saw Nikita bending over his side of the bed. A silent curse left Jamal's lips, then he scrambled to his knees. He put a hand on Nikita's forehead to get his hair out of the way and keep him over the bucket. With the other hand, he began to rub his heaving back.

The spasmodic convulsions of his muscles forces long, agonized retches out of Nikita. They sounded harsh enough to chafe his throat sore. Eventually, the empty gagging turned wet, then productive. Beige vomit burbled from Nikita's mouth and landed in the trash bin with a wet, thick plop.

"Yeah, that's it, you're a pro by now." Jamal continued with the back rubs, feeling Nikita's muscles tense and jerk under his fingers. It was a good thing he was holding up the blonde's head, considering how heavy it rested on his hand. Nikita had puked up his guts and he still couldn't stop, no wonder he was at the end of his rope. "It's okay, Nik, get it all out. I won't let you fall, you can let yourself go and just vomit it up."

Nikita sank into Jamal's grip. To make sure he stayed in place and got his cramping abdomen away from the mattress, Jamal put his other arm around Nikita and supported him at the chest. Nikita's eyes were barely open as he spewed murky liquid and soggy globs. It wasn't much that came up, but it was honestly astounding that he had left anything inside of him he could eat backwards. The gags turned into coughs until Nikita choked up some finely shredded pieces of what might have been carrots. The next retches squeezed nothing but measly spatters of bile out of Nikita's wrung out stomach. Finally, the heaves turned into pants.

Careful not to put pressure on his belly, Jamal pulled Nikita back on the mattress. The blonde looked so drained that Jamal expected him to instantly fall asleep again, but Nikita rolled over and buried his face against Jamal's shoulder. Jamal held him tight and let his fingers run through the fine blond hair.

"Shhh, I'm here, I won't leave you alone", he soothed Nikita. "You'll be better soon, you'll be okay, this will be over before you know it."

Nikita didn't say a word, he just clung to Jamal like he was his lifeline. His back hitched with convulsive gasps, but he didn't make a sound, so Jamal wasn't sure if he was crying. Jamal cradled Nikita ever so softly, stroking his back and his head until his friend relaxed in his arms. This time, Jamal didn't turn him around. So what if Nikita threw up on his neck, there was no way he would let him go right now. Cuddled up snuggly, they finally slept without a rude awakening.

-

It was almost noon when Jamal woke up again. He lay still and kept Nikita in an embrace until the blonde began to move. Bleary eyed, Nikita looked up and broke into a yawn. He still had an ashen complexion and cracked lips, but the expression of constant nausea had turned into exhaustion.

"Is it just me or are you looking a little more alive?", Jamal smiled and brushed Nikita's cheek.

"It's been worse." Nikita shrugged, then wrinkled his nose. "The bucket's still filled, isn't it?"

"Yup, filled and fermented for a couple of hours. I'll get rid of it."

With a slight reluctance, Jamal left the bed and disposed of the congealed mass of puke. He put in a new trashbag and made fresh tea. Nikita actually managed to drink half of the cup and keep it down, which was definitely an improvement. Jamal sat down next to him, leaning back against the wall behind the headrest.

"You better stay in bed today", he said with a glance at Nikita. "It's been a lot for you."

"Yeah… I guess." The blonde looked tired enough to fall asleep again in an instant.

"No objections? That's unusua-aaaahhhhhhhhhrrrrrlllll." Interrupted mid-sentence, Jamal projectile vomited all over the blanket and his bare chest. Nikita stared at him, wide-eyed. Jamal was completely flabbergasted himself. There had been no warning – no nausea, no buildup, no drooling or retching. The sludgy brown flood had just shot out of him with a sudden explosion. Quick-witted in spite of his shock, Nikita grabbed the bucket and pushed it under Jamal's face. Utterly confused, Jamal didn't understand why Nikita would do such a thing until another massive gush of puke spurted out of his mouth, filling up a quarter of the bin in one fell swoop.

A hand stroked up and down Jamal's back as he gurgled up a chunky stew that barely resembled the beef stir fry he had eaten for lunch the day before. As his retches became harder, shaking Jamal's body with abrupt jolts, he worked up a thicker mash of rice, meat shreds and bits of broccoli that slipped over his tongue and plunged into the vomit lake below him. Some of them drowned instantly, some stayed on the surface, covered in a glistening sheen. Just seconds later, Jamal's stomach churned again and pushed up more of the lumpy gloop. Several more gags followed, but they remained unproductive.

"I didn't think it would happen so quickly", Nikita sighed and wiped Jamal's face with one of the paper tissues from the box that was still placed on the nightstand. Groaning, Jamal lifted his head.

"Don't say it", he croaked, throat sore from the forceful expulsion of his stomach contents.

"I…"

"Nik, no."

"…told you so." Nikita put the dangerously full bucket away and went on to clean the puke from Jamal's chest. "And I'm glad you didn't listen."

"I might change my mind in the next few hours, but so am I." Jamal forced a strained smile. "By the way, sorry for barfing all over your bed."

"I guess that's fair when you caught it from me. And you got most of it on the covers, so it's easier to clean up."

"But you're still sick!"

"Yeah, but I'm much better already, so stop worrying." Nikita stroked over Jamal's head. "You know what? I'll get rid of the mess and then we switch to your room and get cozy. Agreed?"

"Mhm", Jamal muttered and closed his eyes. He wasn't sure how much time he head until the next wave, not even on which end it would come out. It would be a long day after a long night and Jamal dreaded what lay ahead. But for some reason, he was still happy. Maybe he had been the bigger idiot all along.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Archive of our own: Up all night to get Bucky

tumblr: birdnamedenza

[penroseparticle]

Penrose Song of the Day, Day 34: Walang Alam by Hev Abi

I found this song through happenstance.

The other day my mom was telling me that I need to let my mind run the engine, so to speak, so that I can get it to wind down enough to let me do things. The proverbial "let the kid run in circles until he's tired enough to focus". And so I did. I closed my eyes, and just let my thoughts chase each other over and over and follow any path they wanted to until I settled down enough. It worked. I promptly forgot to do it any subsequent days.

I remember the phrase "LALAKINGS" though. Just popped into my head unbidden. I enjoy picking the threads of fate, so to speak. randomness is baked into everything, we are all on The Drunkard's Walk, sometimes going with it takes you somewhere you wouldn't get without it. So I take the time to be whimsical, or nonsensical sometimes. I impart more meaning to actions than they deserve because hey- it means something to someone, right? Why not this, why not to me?

So I did a quick Spotify search for the phrase lalakings. I had an inkling I could find something music related to it, and lo and behold, I hit upon a truly impressive playlist of some, frankly, insanely good hiphop. Shoutout Aeron Medina, if you ever read this know you have great taste.

Hev Abi was the second artist on the playlist, right after Coast Contra (Another high quality pick tbh, give them a listen).

I don't know if I would have picked Filipino Rap to be my new obsession, but I'll be damned if Walang Alam hasn't been in heavy rotation lately.

I'm no stranger to quote unquote foreign music, even in this series- Todo De Ti was featured earlier. Laisses Tomber Les Filles. I loved Telepatia when it came out. The Spark is blowing up as we speak. I'm an Ikimono Gakari Stan, I know Yelle by heart. PLEASE GO LISTEN TO TALCO, Italian Ska is the truth, weirdly. Connor Price's Globe series gave me some great hiphop artists to listen to in other countries and languages.

But strangely I haven't hit on any southeast asia, any pacific islander fare. Nothing to really

There's something so. Chill about Walang Alam. It's got credibility. I hear this and I'm like yeah. This guy is sad. He's sad in a different language which makes him EXTRA sad because i didn't even hear sad words to clue me in! He has poor wet meow meow energy via voice alone. Truly incredible.

I enjoy the acoustic approach to the song. Acoustic music is musical shorthand for more intimate, more emotional. your sound has less reach, so we know it's just for us. Maybe it hits different knowing it's private. Vulnerable.

I've been thinking a lot about sadness. How to deal with it. I feel like I can only feel my emotions incorrectly. Like some dumb ogre stomping around breaking things. I'm so angry all the time and I don't have anywhere to put it. I don't want to burden people. Lord knows I've done enough of that. But you can't hold the hurt and do anything else, I'm finding.

So how do you turn it into roses, or whatever. You talk about it right? We're hardwired to be helped by the talking. But how, and to who, and how much is too much, and hey don't forget you're intruding on their personal wellbeing by being unwell at them.

You are a tire fire, but ouroboros'd back around at myself. It won't shut off though so I'm trying to bushwhack through it. Bear with me, under construction, etc.

I think this song is the good kind of sad. Where even though no solution has been presented, something of value was gained. Reflection? Perspective? A sick single? Whatever it is, Hev Abi seems changed and resolved by the end.

The tiny pop of english at the end is a nice touch too. very "moon in japanese is different, more evocative and mystical" somehow. Like yes fellow musicians this is a big time music artist he has mainstream america appeal there's english words here. I don't know, I think the intentional choice for the last few bars to be different gives that resolved feeling mroe weight- the words literally change at the end of the song.

It's quiet. It's reflective. It's tight, too, at 3 minutes almost on the dot (Still not optimized for streams and with a full song structure, so I consider it a dub)

I don't have a lot on this one today. I wrote like 70% of this like 2 weeks ago and then just stalled out. But I finished writing something. Allegedly this is progress.

Just remember. You could be dead right now. Go listen to something you love