#before i can actually do. anything in life. but thats not an option so i'm just expected to be able to go out and do things

[mudstoneabyss]

hell circle of I don't have communication skills I don't know how to communicate. I need to learn those skills. I need to learn them by communicating. I don't know how to

[ftmtftm]

Hey!

I enjoy following trans guys on here because they tend to talk about masculinity in complex and interesting ways without tending to fall into MRA type pitfalls that are a lot harder to avoid in a space like Reddit. My question with that as a cis(ish) guy is always like...do you...want solidarity from cis guys on stuff like this?

Given that tumblr is kinda unique among social media spaces in that the norm is posters who are either women or queer, I don't see a lot of conversations between cis and trans guys for me to go off of as a norm. Y'all seem way more busy dealing with (what must be very tiring) discourse with women about whether being dudes automatically rounds trans men up to being oppressors.

Like, the defense I usually see mounted against that very simplistic mentality is--as you've said a fair bit and I would absolutely agree with--that patriarchal society doesn't give a fuck how you identify and short of someone who's managed to "pass" going completely stealth, there isn't even the option of being granted a very contingent male privilege. 

Building off of that response I tend to go further and say "Yeah, and I mean, even if you were a cis dude, the hurdle isn't suddenly over if you're assumed to be biologically male, broad swaths of male privilege are contingent on performing hegemonic masculinity. If you don't, won't, or can't play that role, you're just trading being viewed as a failed woman for being viewed as a failed man. And again, that's only if you're someone who can "pass" and who is willing to go stealth in the first place."

But I don't know if me saying that would be recieved as...helping? Considering me saying "yeah, dudes aren't suddenly welcomed with open arms if they have a "he/him" pin and some stubble, there are absolutely core social advantages compared to women, but there are also punishments for failing to adhere to patriarchal standards that some men will be constantly incurring" causes a knee-jerk "THATS MRA BULLSHIT" response in the average tumblr user, which you seem to have to deal with plenty even when you're just quoting bell hooks or something.

So yeah, don't know if chiming in on the experience of grappling with hegemonic masculinity is like... helpful solidarity or muddying the waters? But I figured I'd offer at least.

Oh this is a very fascinating ask because in many ways I'm inclined to say yes absolutely, it can be incredibly helpful. There are some ideas presented here I'm a little hesitant about and I think it can be situational because of that. Ultimately though it is probably more dependent on your own personal threshold for dealing with bullshit than anything else to be frank.

Like I was just saying in response to a previous ask - some of the most productive conversations I've had personally about gender were actually with an older, disabled, cis man who was my coworker. The social perception of his gender was really dependent on his age as a man in his 60's, his class as a blue collar maintenance man, and the disabilities he had due to life circumstances and his lifetime of physical labor. This was also, socially, at odds with the fact that he was a poet and an artist and a deeply emotionally aware/intelligent person - which goes against a lot of Patriarchal expectations for men. The Patriarchy doesn't really give a shit about the emotionally in touch, disabled, working class, maintenance poet because he is not an asset to maintaining system.

So I do think there is absolutely space for solidarity between trans men and cis men in that regard! There is always more that joins us than divides us. Always.

I do think, however, that it might be smart to gain more experience - of any kind - outside of online discourse before entering into specifically online conversations (though I'm also guilty of jumping into this one too sometimes I'm not gonna lie).

When I say "experience of any kind" I really mean it though. Be that life experience, academic experience, interpersonal experiences, etc. I would just start with talking to people about their lives and engaging with their lived experiences and also letting them engage with yours!

I think here in this specific conversation on Male Privilege cis men hold a dual positionality of both people impacted by the same systems and as allies. To specfically be a stronger ally is to spend a lot of time learning before speaking yourself - while also never forgetting that the learning is never "over" - in my opinion.

Like, that's expressly why I took a break from writing about gender theory for a few years to explicitly spend time just reading racial theory so I could be a better ally as a White person and understand the ways in which White Supremacy both uplifts and harms me and the social positions I hold due to my race. I'm currently spending a lot of time reading intersex theory, but not directly involving myself too much, for the same reason. It's a similar concept here but with gender and Patriarchy.

I do also want to make sure it's very clearly stated that this conversation isn't really a binary "men arguing with women and vice versa" issue - despite it often being framed that way. Many of the people who have been the harshest towards me personally have actually been other trans men and nonbinary people and less so women. At least in this particular conversation, as I've also dealt with my fair share of TERFs/Radfems but that's unrelated to the convo on trans men and male privilege.

All in all it sounds like you're on a relatively solid path though. The solidarity and allyship is nearly always appreciated - especially when offered in good faith and with the intent of growth. I'd still really, genuinely recommend taking kind of a circular path outside of online discourse into academia (institutionally or on your own!!) or ground work or something like that before coming back around into engaging with the internet directly if you're able to though! It does wonders for the brain and helps give you more space to examine potential biases in safer environments than Tumblr or Reddit imo.

[armins-main-hoe]

MHA x avatar

MHA navi x Fem!reader

request

Okay so far we only have met the forest na’vi and the reef na’vi. We don’t really know much about what other variant of na’vi there are yet, at least not 100%. I know there was a mention of fire na’vi but then again, we all don’t know much about them that much. But I think I’ll still make some characters be other types of na’vi other than just reef and forest. I might make up my own too, just to give me more options. But I’d honestly love to hear your ideas as well, the one reading this. If you think differently or have another idea for a na’vi type.

So I’m thinking I’m just gonna do head cannons for now, then later on when I can think of an actual plot line, I’ll make a whole fic for this.

I'm only gonna do the main three for now, if you guys like this and want other characters let me know!!

(and i'm gonna write a little smut drabble for the three soon too)

Midoriya na’vi x reader

I honestly think he’d be a forest na’vi, that’s just the type of vibe he gives off.

He’d be really in tune with his surroundings, a keen observer, since he doesn’t come off as the talkative type.

Though he is well liked by the others, there always is one other na’vi who doesn’t quite share the same opinion of him as others.

Despite his constant attempts at dismissing bakugo’s taunts and challenges, he does sometimes find himself not being that confident in his own skills and abilities.

But that changed when he got closer to you. You, a kind and loving na’vi who honestly nobody could hate. You were always there for him. Sometimes you’d find him sitting alone on some tree top, looking out at the view around him. You’d sit down next to him silently.

Together, the two of you would quietly enjoy each other’s presence and relax.

"You are strong Isuku. Stronger than you think."

Honestly, i believe you both would have a puppy love trope, enjoying everything the forest has to offer.

From sharing sweet, juicy fruits to running across thick branches of the trees.

Though you both had yet to make anything official, it was clear to the whole clan that you two would choose each other when the time comes.

While the two of you were what most would consider 'googy-two-shoes', you would sometimes sneak out at night just to spend time together. To go to the trees of souls where the woodsprites would float around you both, softly landing on you both as you hold hands.

Even Ewya would agree that the two of you were perfect for each other.

Bakugo na'vi x reader

Just to keep the rivalry between midoryia and Bakugo, I would put Bakugo as a forest Na'vi too.

The entire clan and the other clans around would know about Bakugo and his feisty temper. Many would look down at him for viewing life through such fire, but not many would dare to confront him about it.

Despite the clan looking down on his behaviour, they were quick to recognise his strength in being a strong warrior for the clan. Even the Olo'eyktan recognised this and praised him for it.

You were a strong huntress, you never missed a shot. Sometimes you would be sent out with the warriors to fight the human machines that would try and invade your part of the forest. Thats when you saw Bakugo and realised why everyone praised his strength. You used to admire it too before you found out how cocky he was.

The two of you would bicker, he would get on your nerves too much and you weren't one to let him do whatever.

As others would pass you both arguing, they would either roll their eyes at your usual antics or laugh to themselves.

Though one day it wasn't so funny. One day, it wasn't a bit of banter. One day you were at each other's throats. That day, you both hurt each other.

Others were quick to pull you both apart. Both of you had busies and busted lips. The amount of scolding you both received from the Olo'eyktan drew much attention from everyone around you. No one had seen the leader that angry.

The Olo'eyktan had sent you both out, out of the clan. Not to come back until a week later. He said that you both must survive on your own with only each other to rely on.

Fair to say even more arguments happened during that week, more arguments that somehow turned into making out.

Nobody saw that coming, nope, definitely not. Who would have thought.

Todoroki na'vi x reader

Now as much as we would like to see the trio together, I would say that this one was a produce of two navi from different clans falling in love.

Lets give him a somewhat decent family in this AU okay?

His father from the fire na'vi clan and his mother from the na'vi that live up in the cold, snowy mountains.

Their love though wasn't appreciated by either clans. They were forced to choose, either stay in love or stay in their respective clans.

They chose to leave their clans and start their own family. But it wasn't that easy. You don't quite realise just how much easier it is to live with a whole clan, where food is shared and and roles are divided.

It was hard. Harder so when other clans around them would not let them enter their territory. But Ewya blessed them both by letting them stumble across a small bit of unclaimed land out in the middle of the ocean. It was small but the land had trees which bore fruits, ocean which had plenty of fish and small cave for shelter.

Even with this blessing, it wasn't easy. Not when one na'vi was used to the harsh heat of the volcanoes and another used to the harsh cold of the mountains.

Though with time they were able to start their own family. Four children. The youngest being Shoto.

Shoto was content with his life, he never met any other na'vi apart from his siblings and parents but that didn't seem to bother him. He didn't know life outside of the island and the waters around.

But that didn't bother him.

You can't miss something you never had.

Not until a young reef girl called y/n who happen to have swam out too far and came across the todoroki island. The young girl who he quickly became friends with and who began to tell him all about her clan by the reef.

Thats when he began to truly wonder what was out there beyond his little island in the middle of the ocean.

@katsuki069

[sea-salted-wolverine]

Had a weird nightmare about a cult

It was in a church, just an average protestant midsized church, you would expect boy scout meetings in the backroom kind of a place. I was there with some anonymous friend/ acquaintance, the pretty older girl from high-school who was popular and yet genuinely nice, her mom is friends with your mom, her family is well known and well liked, offending her would be social suicide not because of anything she would do but because everyone you know would take her side and grant her victim status because she's just so nice.

She had invited me to some function and I was going out of curiosity and obligation, which is the only reason I'm ever in a church anyways. I was guaranteed to know people there, in the same roundabout, you-know-people-I-know kinda way.

Because its about to be relevant, I'm wearing skinny jeans and a sort of blousey black tank top. I've also got black nail polish and thats a fully normal irl outfit for me. Maybe a bit casual for a Sunday-best style church function, but I was not under the impression that's what I was going to.

I show up and am promptly ushered into the coat closet because what I am wearing is completely unacceptable. (I'm calling it a coat closet because that's what it is, but the churches in my area all have a full sized room set aside for outerwear storage because for half the year everyone shows up in a full down parka and that takes up a ton of space)

Anyway, I'm like, "oh shit I didn't realize this was formal, I can run home and change if its okay that I'm a few minutes late, or if someone has a spare dress I'll wear that" which is also something I have done irl. No one ever tells me anything but I'm small and can cinch down big waistlines and make it look intentional that I'm wearing wildly misfit clothing. So like, the dream is getting weird but in the same way that my real actual life gets wierd.

So then she hands me what is fundamental the same thing I'm already wearing, a pair of slightly darker wash skinny jeans that are slightly higher waisted and with more spandex and buttons, and a black polyester/lycra cropped tank top, which is a shirt I've been looking for irl. And she's apologetic about it, as in, "sorry 😞, hope these fit, 😔 might be a little small"

It's a transparent body shaming attempt, because everything is a xs or a size zero, and meant to make you feel uncomfortable and ungainly in too small clothes, but its so badly executed that I just kinda roll with it, like, okay 🤨. Also I like the tank top.

So I change, and she's finding me a bag to stash my clothes in, and some dude sticks his head in the coat closet as I've got one leg in the new pants. And the whole thing feels so very staged, like I'm supposed to be embarrassed about squeezing into too tight pants in front of some acquaintances hot older brother. Either that or my brain is trying to set up some bad porno wet dream and none of the options are working.

Because the pants fit fine and if you have somehow reached adulthood and are scandalized by the sight of a thigh you're the wierd one for being raised under a rock by blind snakes. So I'm figuring out how to fit my phone and wallet into my waistband because these pants don't have pockets and trying to remember whats-his-faces name, I'm almost certain it starts with a j and I've definitely heard it before but I can probably get away with claiming I mixed him up with someone else and not be considered rude, Jacob? Jason? Jeremy? Jed? Oh wait, is he somebody's boyfriend rather than somebody's brother?

But now he's holding my hand and tut-tuting over my nails because I absolutely cannot have black nails, and wouldn't I prefer a nice dusty pink?

At which point I think I kinda woke myself up because the no rice on Tuesdays tactic of high control groups popped into my head, by name, as that specific phrase, and I went "hmm, yep, this is weird, gimme my shit I'm leaving"

But that only conjured up the first girls mom, complete with a really nice travel duffle with my clothes in it. So I'm yanking my clothes out of the bag, because if I take the bag and leave they're going to want it back and that gives them another opening for things they think you owe them. Anyways shes dissapointed in me, in that performative manipulation kinda way. She says something like if I wanted her daughters shirt I can just have it, heavily implying that I'm causing a scene and being an unreasonable bitch, at which point it occurs to me that it's fucking wierd that they have clothes this small at all because everyone in the building is at least 6 inches taller than I am.

Whats-his-face is still hovering and now he's got a hand on my shoulder thats meant to be reassurance and all I can think is wow you guys are really bad at this. I can hear people in the next room and I know they're people like, my grandparents friends and prospective employers and other important social connections and I need to get out of here without making a scene, which isn't gonna happen.

At some point I said Jesus Christ in the context of a frustrated curse word, which they all jumped on and said I needed to let the lord into my heart or some shit. To which sleepytime subconscious responded to with CAUSE A SCENE AND CONTROL THE NARRATIVE!!!

So I raised my voice loud enough to be heard in the other room and told the guy to get his hands off me or I would punch him in the dick. And because no one believes you when you tell them you're going to punch them in the dick he did not take his hands off me and was calmly and rationally requesting that I calm down and be civil so I followed through and punched him in the dick.

Committing physical violence in a dream always wakes me up, pretty much immediately, but I did get a few glimpses of storming out through a crowd, yelling about entitled pricks in closets and if anyone ever felt like leaving the cult I would give them a hand.

So yeah. What's your religious trauma look like?

[merakiui]

Mera! I'm losing track of the days lol, but so long as i send an ask a week, i think i should be okay 😂

Also feel free to post your hsr hair thoughts bc i love to read your rambles as much as your fics! I'm looking forward to the jade one and him imitating floyd is really amusing. I like to think jade has a sort of pride about him where he loathes being compared to floyd but also jokes it off when someone does or when someone mistakes them, so i can imagine his pride and ego taking a hit but he endures it for sake of reader. Almost like he gets addicted to acting like floyd bc everyone likes floyd better anyways, right? So why not give the people what they want! He receives such a positive response when he acts like floyd that it rewires the hurt in his brain and suddenly the thing he hates is now cathartic for him but theres still that underlying hurt underneath >.<

BUT thats not why im here hehehe, for this weeks questionnnnn......

Who do you think would be the 'final girl' in a slasher film from each dorm? And then if u can, who do you think would be the ultimate survivor? You can optionally bestow the other titles; the virgin who lives but is hurt, the killer in hiding and the idiots who are the first to go, etc :D i read a yandere slasher fic here on tumblr where reader goes into a cabin with her friends and they get killed off one by one until the yandere presumably fucks reader and it has me back in my horror phase 😅 just pretend its Halloween in june, like xmas in july hahaha

-🐔 anon!!!!

:D hi hi 🐔!!!! Thank you for enjoying my writings and ramblings and for your interest in the upcoming Jade fic!! He'd do anything for you, even if it means he has to endure bittersweet pain just to see you smile. >_< all he wants is a chance with you and he gets that when he acts as Floyd. It may be uncomfortable and it may chip away pieces of his pride as an individual, but you laugh at his jokes and look at him like he's the only one in your world. He'll do whatever he can just to receive a crumb of your affection, even if it's all meant to be reserved for Floyd. Aaaa I love writing this version of Jade!!!! He's just so interesting and obsessed!! orz

Ooooo final girls from each dorm!!! That's such a fun question. Here are my thoughts!!! ^w^

Heartslabyul's final girl would be Cater. He's so perfect for the final girl trope! You think he might die first because he's pretty and can't let go of his phone for the life of him, but when he gets serious he can be very cutthroat. <3 the idiotic duo would have to be Ace and Deuce. Deuce hears a strange noise and wants to check it out because he's definitely not scared of demons or killers and he'll beat up anything that tries to hurt him and his friends. Ace thinks he's trying to prank him, but he begrudgingly follows him, thinking it's either nothing and Deuce is trying to scare him or it'll just turn out to be something with a completely natural explanation. It's neither, and while they're both bickering the killer looms from behind. Riddle is the logical one who tries to put everything into perspective and figure out a logical reason behind everything. Trey is, unsurprisingly, the mom friend who just wants everyone to stay in one place because hopefully the authorities will show up soon (they never will).

Savanaclaw's final girl is Ruggie. He's resourceful and cunning; you think he may die first, but he's actually very good at survival. He'll live, but he comes out of the horrific night covered in blood after he's just fought the killer to the death. Jack is your typical jock, kind-hearted and caring, who doesn't believe in any of that ghost stuff or horror movie trope stuff, but when it becomes too real he gets even more serious than before, determined to survive and protect those close to him. Leona strikes me as the type who, upon the first sign of something suspicious or dangerous, promptly leaves. He will not be swept up in any murder plots, no thank you. <3 either that or he sleeps through it all and the killer thinks he's dead at first glance LOL.

Octavinelle's final girl would be Floyd. As goofy as he is, he's also another cutthroat guy who can and will survive. He may throw himself directly at danger, but somehow he always comes out of it alive. Jade is your typical killer-in-hiding. You won't suspect him until it's too late, and by then nearly half the cast is dead. Azul is the type who acts like an ally to everyone, but he's secretly either plotting with the killer or planning to sacrifice everyone in order to save himself.

Scarabia's final girl is Jamil. Most of his decisions are made solely to protect Kalim (who naturally is the comedic relief/carefree friend who is just too sweet for this world), but there's a build-up in this movie where the plot twist is that Jamil ultimately ends up tricking Kalim. Is it possible for both him and Jamil to survive? Perhaps, but this isn't that kind of movie. :) and from the bloodshed, Jamil emerges, alive, exhausted, and traumatized. (Or I could also see Jamil as a killer-in-hiding and Kalim as the final girl; it fits either way in my mind hehe!! :D)

Pomefiore's final girl is either Epel or Vil. It's hard to choose just one of them for the trope because I feel like it can fit them both in different ways. Rook is obviously the killer-in-hiding or he's just that really unnerving character who happens to know too much about how a killer thinks. >_< Vil as a final girl would be so cool because I think he can also be quite cutthroat. He's the character type who spends most of his focus on himself throughout the movie, yet he still manages to survive. How, you may ask? He weaponized various beauty products or, my most favorite idea, he fought the killer in heels and won, by which the heels absolutely became his weapon. >:) Epel as a final girl would be somewhat surprising because he's the character who no one really expects to live because he's "so petite and cute and omg how will he ever survive the big, scary killer!!!!" D: but then Epel shocks everyone when he ends up arming himself with brass knuckles or a baseball bat to go hunt down the killer himself.

Ignihyde's final girl is Idia, but then he also fits into the loser nerd category. Idia as a final girl is a little frustrating because he spends the entire movie being prideful and rude to the other characters, so everyone sort of wants him to be killed off first because he's so unlikable. But because Idia's seen all of these tropes before and knows his way around a horror movie, he ends up surviving. Ortho survives as well, but then I can also picture him being something of a sci-fi horror villain (i.e. technology becomes bad and targets humans). It's something like in book six where he was giving the students little tests in order to advance to the next level. Just a little villainous and devious!

Diasomnia's final girl is Silver. The stress of the situation manages to keep him awake, and so he's mainly in survival mode for the entirety of the film. Silver does his best to protect everyone, even putting himself at risk if it means he can save his friends. Sebek likely puts up a good fight, but he's far too stubborn and can't be quiet to save his life, so he ends up getting killed. I feel like Lilia could be a killer-in-hiding, or he's just the mischievous trickster type. Malleus could also be a killer-in-hiding, or he's the trope of "misunderstood character with a reputation that is solely rumors who turns out to be quite sweet and helpful to the main character."

[xjulixred45x]

I'm not sure if this is a good idea but can I please ask for a platonic yandere giyuu

With a kianna komori reader

Where he visits the butterfly mansion to talk to shinobu about an upcoming mission but before he can do that he notices a little girl being rushed to shinobu covered in Blood and injuries and he doesn't think much of her at first but over time when he starts to visit her the little girl and she starts opening up to him about her past he grows attached to her and decides to adopt her as his daughter

She is an OC of mine you can find more information about her on my page here on Tumblr and sorry if this is too detailed and you don't have to take this request if you don't want to

Hello! Is not really a problem, but i'm not used to work with ocs, but i can make a Reader with tour oc Information(if thats ok!).

Plus, My first yandere Request! So, sorry if is a little OOC

PLATONIC!YANDERE!GIYUU TOMIOKA X KOMORI READER

This is also kind of based on this fic from the Oc https://www.tumblr.com/chri-chris-chan/722751219324551168/blades-of-pain-yandere-platonic-uzui-tengen?source=share

Genre: Headcanons

Reader: Female(oc from @nunezs-stuff )

Warnings: YANDERE THEMES, Murder, the church sucks, trauma, Tomioka Backstory, unhealty mindset, i think is all.

(as you say), at first Giyuu didn't think much about you, it was more like a mental note to ask Shinobu what happen to You when he saw her AFTER doing the mission.

However, when Shinobu told him how they found you, bloodied, with several low-ranking demons dead,no lie, he was intrigued.

So, when they come back, he ask Shinobu yo see You.

Shinobu scoffed (as expected) but when she saw that he was serious, she told him that he didn't think it was a good idea, since you seemed very distrustful (and traumatized).

although it seems that it only encourages Tomioka more to try to talk to you(yo Shinobu surpise).

So, when he came to visit you and you already welcomed him like a wildcat, he wasn't very surprised. I mean, yeah, he knew it would be hard, but he didn't think it was that hard. Even so, he did not let himself be daunted.

He introduced himself as a workmate of Shinobu, who wanted to know what happened and how it happened "to report it" when actually he want to make You fell Better with him.

Still somewhat discreet, you told him how some demons got into the church where you lived, how they attacked the Catholics and you had no other option but to defend yourself when the low-ranking hunters who arrived couldn't handle them.

This (lowkey) left him quite impressed, but he didn't say much about it, in fact he didn't speak almost anything while you were talking, he just looked and from time to time nodded, he was giving you a bad feeling, Like, VERY BAD.

or that was until you inadvertently blurted out something related to your sister, you didn't even realize it, it was just something in the heat of the moment, but it was enough to get his attention and he asked you about it. Now, you weren't one to open up to strangers, but, hell, it's been so long and it's already been a traumatic week, and you might never see this man again in your life, so fuck it, You NEED to trow up.

So you told him, you used to HAD a sister, she was a sweet, gentle girl, but very gullible, and the Catholics obviously took advantage of her. That was why the demons were there in the first place, every once in a while they cried out for a sacrifice, young girls, and your sister was the "lucky one" to die like cattle to appease them.

The same people to whom she dedicated her life were the same to whom she was ordered to kill. leaving you alone.

At this point you are crying with rage while Giyuu reflects, they have a lot in common, more than you probably think. he puts an awkward hand on your shoulder to comfort you, you think about smacking him, but…you're so tired now, and it feels genuine in a way, real.

After that, Giyuu visited you almost every time he could until you got back to health. when he "couldn't" in reality it was that he simply visited you at night after a very long mission or something like that, normally you were asleep so he just looked at you for a while, seeing how peaceful you werepretty creepy

Also with the visits he began to open up a little more each time, sometimes talking about his training with Urokodaki, other times about the other Hashiras, and he even got to talk about his sister. Needless to say, you empathized a lot.

Since you really had nowhere to go once you recovered, you thought about asking Shinobu to stay in the Butterfly State as a nurse (since you obviously didn't want to go back to the people of the church), which while it didn't show, it annoyed Giyuu. He didn't know exactly why, it just didn't seem right that you were surrounded by guys from the organization.

then an idea occurred to him, he went directly to Shinobu to ask her if you could stay with him for "an indefinite time" until you decided what to do.

Shinobu scoffed a bit (obviously) but actually thought he might get a good idea, seeing as they both seemed so close and that Tomioka maybe even could became more sociable(big mistake).

Imagine your surprise when Giyuu came the day before you were discharged and told you that you were going to live with him, it was quite a surprise and, why lie, at first it could be confused a little with pity.

pity? because? Well, because when you wanted more information about what happened in your village, you discovered that apparently all the members of the church where you lived had been killed, apparently by demons.

""apparently"" my ass, he did it.

You know, even if you weren't going to go with them in the first place, you didn't want to leave the 'unfortunate soul' image for Giyuu, for anyone in general.

but he assured you that the reason he wanted you to go live with him was because for the first time in a long time he felt a connection with someone (platonically), who wanted you to give him the opportunity to give you the home you deserved and that I would have liked to have at the time, that he wanted to love You the way you deserve, even if he don't feel worthy, he wants to try.

That Even more than all the people i'm your life has done.

You were so shocked that you accept the offer with virtually no hesitation.

and you definitely didn't notice the red flags from there. It's just in Giyuu's nature, it's almost imperceptible.

things like his clinginess are justified by all the trauma he's been through and experienced throughout his life, you're not going to be ungrateful for everything he's done for you and turn down a few hugs(aside note: You DONT HAVE to give hugs to NO ONE if YOU DON'T WANT TO, this is just fiction).

He's not the most controlling, but he's definitely one for the stalker. If you are out with a friend or acquaintance, they are hanging around or in the crowd. I think that in the same way I would not accept any suitor unless it is Tanjiro or even one of the Hashiras like Rengoku, but apart from that I see your possibilities for love quite null, he will scare them.

He has definitely killed more people than the church, anyone who could be considered a possible threat to your relationship with him (some distant relative who wants to take care of you, some ""problematic"" friend, etc). even if they were important people to you, they would just stay by your side comforting you, secretly happy about this new level of closeness.

But if you somehow found out-oh god. he is panicking. He doesn't want to have to keep you with him by force, but if you don't leave him a choice, I'm sorry honey, you won't leave the house.

It's still a weird scenario, Giyuu covers his tracks well, and honestly, after all you've been through, to the people you've lost (even if some of those people were lost because of HIM) would you really care if he did? would you find out? You are already here, you are at peace, you have a good life, what else?

Whatever scenario you choose, Tomioka will not disappear from your life in the short term, it only remains to see what time prepares for You two....

[walks-the-ages]

"I did not mean to derail this post"

so why are you still leaving paragraphs and paragraphs and paragraphs ignoring every single thing that was said before by the people you decided to argue with by saying that it's

"better to keep Democrats in office to hold them accountable for their actions, because if they lose office they'll just blame Republicans for the things they did"

????

"Why are you telling me your finances, do you seriously think I'm not also working class?"

I mean, if you actually fucking read my response where I spelled out my finances and engaged with it properly you would have seen the giant glaring message that I am spelling out my (and thus, 90% of American's reality) financial situation of 99% of my paycheck going towards basic living costs even before actual food is on the table because I'm pointing out how much fucking rediculous money politicians make when they hold the highest office in the Country ($400k per year + a $50k Expense Account) ,and thats what you're advocating to pay these people for them to continue to commit genocide.

you think its a good idea to keep Democrats in office because you somehow think that them staying in power and making life-changing amounts of money off of our tax dollars to continue that genocide with, because you think somehow you can hold them accountable even as you acknowledge its impossible to push them Left once they're elected into office???

make the fucking cognitive dissonance make sense.

You acknowledge Democrats are committing genocide

You acknowledge Democrats cannot be "Pushed Left"

You acknowledge that its a good thing for people to Vote Third Party ""if they believe it will work"".

But you also demonize people who choose not to vote even if you deny that "demonization" accusation as you continue to insist people who don't vote aren't doing anything at all politically.

You do all this......... as you then turn around and insist we actually need to keep Democrats in power, otherwise they'll just blame Republicans for Democrat's actions while in office, and somehow that will magically brainwash millions of Americans into...... uhhhhh caring about Palestine finally, because it will have been done by a party in red instead of blue?

"Democrats will just wash their hands of the blame for Palestine if they lose the election"

I mean, if you let them, sure! And you know how you let them wash their hands of the blame? by fucking voting for them. by endorsing them despite their genocidal actions and crimes against humanity.

The only people who are letting Democrats wash their hands of these atrocities are the people who vote for them despite knowing there's a dozen other options .

You can reblog as many donation posts as you want, but if you're advocating to reward Democrats for being genocidaires by keeping them in power against ALL advocacy by actual Palestinians and Arab Americans, including arguing with these people on their posts where they talk about how they're directly impacted by the Democrat's genocidal campaign... do you actually care about other people, or do you care more about maintaining the status quo??

Anyways. Vote Jill Stein for a Free Palestine.

Do not re-elect Genocidal warmongers.

Don't forget your daily clicks

And if you have any kind of disposable income , please donate directly to vetted Gaza funds if you can!

[demadogs]

heyy what are your thoughts on Mike's monologue? Do you think he was being honest or it was a half truth or something? I'm really curious abt what you think bc honestly I'm not sure myself

this might be long i havent dove into this scene in a while.

the short answer is i think it was a mix of some sad truths disguised as romance, things he believes she wants to hear (but is completely wrong), and just straight up lies. but the biggest thing is that what he thought she wanted to hear was what will told him in the van, unaware that those were wills feelings not els.

but before i even talk about it lets just LOOK at the scene. this is what every other romantic scene in the show has looked like:

and this was allegedly mike and el’s “most romantic scene”.

they are not happy here. this was right before mike said he loves her and right after. one of the biggest differences in this scene compared to the other ships is the fact that both of them we’re forced into this conversation. mike was NOT going to say any of this. will had to push him to continue. meanwhile el is physically restrained from responding to him. she was forced to listen to him and mike felt like he was forced to say it.

anyways now im gonna analyze the actual content of the monologue:

sad truths disguised as romance:

“i dont know how to live without you”

i think this is true and it could be a romantic line but it could also be really sad. it reminds me of when finn (or millie i dont remember) said that they were like a married couple with no option of divorce. i think what mike really meant by this is that hes scared to confront who he really is without el. he actually already did confront this version of himself after she and will moved. i think when he was without either of them he realized his true feelings and hated it and he just wants to go back to who he was before he figured it out.

“i feel like my life started that day i found you in the woods”

im not as confident in this one but it could honestly be extremely sad when looked at from a different lens. it was the first night after will went missing. it was the first time things in his life got weird and unexplainable. losing will and finding el is what led to all the supernatural trauma theyve been through. i dont think mike associates el with trauma but that night in the woods did change all of their lives forever and nothing has been normal since that night. when mike told will asking him to be his friend was the best thing hes ever done, thats said in a way that could not be interpreted any other way, especially not in any negative way. this can. (that being said im not negating how much mike genuinely does care about her and im not saying he wishes he never found her or anything like that).

then it gets so complicated because the only way mike knew how to reach her was through everything will said to him in the van, not knowing that everything will said was referring to HIS feelings, not els.

what mike thinks she wants to hear (based on what will said):

mike tells el “im afraid that one day you wont need me anymore” directly referring to when will told him that she (he) will always need him and then we see this shot.

a lot of people interpret this clip as will just being sad that mike loves her but i think here he might actually be realizing that mikes using his own feelings unknowingly to reach her and he feels guilty about it.

will also told mike that “you make her feel like shes not a mistake at all, like shes better for being different and that gives her the courage to fight on” which actually is not the case for el AT ALL. that was the entire reason for their fight in volume one. el told him “i am different i do not belong” and that he thinks shes a monster and thats why she doesnt love him. she doesnt wanna be loved for being different. but will made mike think she does. these are els reactions to when he brings up her powers:

“youre my superhero”

“you can move mountains, you can fly”

during the whole monologue shes crying but both times he brings up her powers she stops and just looks mad. she looks like she just realized something and shes not happy about it.

i think will completely unintentionally made mlvn so much worse with his veiled confession in the van.

just straight up lies:

“and i knew right then and there that i loved you” (referring to the very first moment he saw her in the woods.)

this is the biggest lie of the whole monologue and i dont always like to bring in social media and marketing to my analyses but when i watched this for the first time, the SECOND he said this i immediately thought of this tweet:

we also have proof in the show itself that he didnt feel this way. he brings her home because he just found a lost girl in the woods in the pouring rain. and then he and lucas and dustin immediately come up with a plan on how to get her back to wherever she came from so that the next day they can go back outside and find will.

“i love you on your bad days”

immediately debunked. mikes a fucking BITCH on her bad days. even will thinks so.

“i love you for exactly who you are”

he doesnt even talk about who she is??? at the beginning of the season we had that whole scene of nancy and jonathan talking about all the reasons they love each other and what does mike love about el? that shes a superhero?

and THEN after the monologue is over its not even mike who gives her the courage to fight on! ITS MAX!!! el doesnt have the power to move the vines until she sees max in trouble. and then later when shes reviving her and theres flashbacks of their moments together, specifically when she says “theres more to life than stupid boys” and “not hopper, not mike, you.” thats huge.

continuing with post-monologue volume 2, its so beyond weird that we dont see el speak a WORD to him after this enter speech. not even just after that speech, after she almost died.

if mlvn was meant to be why didnt they have a moment like this after she woke up? we dont even see her wake up. we dont even see them for two days!!!!

anyways that was a lot. i hope it all made sense. i think the purpose of the whole monologue was to show that even after mike says what she wanted to hear, shes still not happy with him. shes realized that that she is her own person and her own superhero. the duffers just made it excruciatingly complicated and i hope they do a good job explaining this scene in s5.

[heterophobicdyke]

I don't know if you're taking more asks for the woman who doesn't like being a woman, but I'll share my perspective:

I'm probably one of the few women in this world who has never wanted to be male. Even when wanting to be stronger or faster, I'd still wish and fantasize about being a stronger woman, not a man in any way. Even periods, while annoying never convinced me that being a man was a better option. I like being a woman; I guess I like our body parts better than male sexual characteristics, I wouldn't want to deal with having a penis or getting erections and having something coming out of my genitals every time I masturbate. I don't like the idea of having a higher sex drive, being more aggresive, wanting to dominate and having a higher probability of getting bald lol.

Another thing is I'm glad I don't have to deal with male-on-male aggression. Don't get me wrong, women get the short end of the stick when it comes to males sexual aggression, yet I don't interact with men much and more importantly, I don't have a boyfriend even though I'm straight so I basically don't have to deal with that often. Men do have to deal with other men whether they like it or not (unless they become hermits), and the things I've heard and witness when it comes to intra male antagonistic encounters is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. People sometimes say "men just beat each other and get on with life, women might not fight but they will destroy you socially", but I could never see how physical altercarions are a better deal in any way. Not to mention that nowadays is very common for men to use the same tactics that some people blame only women of using: men gossip, back stab, spread rumors and ostracize each other if necessary (very recently a study found out that men actually apply these techniques more often than women do to move socially, so it seems to be a stereotype fuelled by the male-dominated media that this is a "woman thing").

And finally, I also like feeling that women trust me by default. I've read testimonies from transmen talking about how, as soon as they start "passing" as male, women suddenly began avoiding their gaze on the street, didn't smile at them anymore, moved to the other side of the street to avoid them, and would suddenly start walking faster when they realized this "man" was behind them, constantly looking over their shoulders to see if "he" was still behind them. Some transmen talk about this with understanding even though it hurts them, since they remember acting exactly the same with men before they transitioned. Some act indignant and talk about this being yet another proof of "misandry/transandrophobia". And you know what? I get it in a way, I wouldn't like it that half of the population (the important one to me) doesn't trust me by default. "Cis" men also whine about this, some also understand it's because of men terrible track record with women, but others can't accept that women just don't trust them and cry unfair treatment.

I always go to a woman if I ever need anything. If I'm lost and need help finding a street, I avoid every man until I find a woman. Ive noticed many other women do this too - even when there's a lot of men around, they still go to me for help or advice even if I look much younger than I am thus technically I should be more ignorant about life than the many grown men nearby. But they don't because they prefer to get help from another woman.

This is part of why men talk about feeling "invisible" to society - many times society translates to women and the fact that they don't get much attention from them. They do realize many women prefer each other to them, the myth of women always looking for men for protection and help crafted by media and such is shattered by reality. In a weird way I do empathize with men in certain things, even though they technically dug their own graves. And thats probably why I can still enjoy being a woman over being a man, even though it does have a lot of disadvantages too.

I think the higher sex drive thing is made up and women are just socialised to dissociate from their sexual selves. I also have never wanted to be a man - and I think any woman that does want to be a man moreso wants their social power than actually having a penis and male-patterned balding.

But I agree with pretty much the rest of what you said.

[akookminsupporter]

There's so many compounding things and reasons I can think of for why we didn't see certain stuff before that I'm sure made sense at the time but have just passed their time of usefulness to them and have instead become stifling even if you don't want to do something or don't do it often knowing that people will crucify you for it and any other little thing becomes a trap and people don't talk enough about how their fame blew up during a pandemic after a canceled tour the bot allegations are annoying/amusing but we really are just text on a screen majority of the time and lately not even good text according to them they like to connect with us as humans and they're entitled to their privacy but they're literally making an effort to share more of their lives and themselves with us in an effort for us to recognize their humanity and it's not wrong if you learn more about someone and figure out you don't vibe with them but the shit yall whining over is wild like they're cursing out in the open more now I fully understand not liking to hear vulgar language so thats valid if you acknowledge its a personal preference and dont try to push it on them but they've also always said certain members curse a lot so it's not actually a new development or smoking or drinking which yall need to get a grip about because once again it's not new theyve been doing it for years we've seen them drink it's a normal adult activity and for smoking it's never been a secret yall act willfully obtuse on purpose and then act shocked relearning the same information years later and it's ridiculous because they don't smoke in front of us Yoongi smoked in a music video in a direct and explicit critique against the scrutiny they live under but him nor tae or jk are even lighting up on lives or anything else which again isn't to say it's a secret because ashtrays and vapes sitting around in things they post means they're not intentionally omitting it it's just not fucking important sometimes things just not important and you don't even think about sharing them until other people react idk this is long the only thing I can think of is JK and his gcfs where they started fun and ended up being work that didn't bring him joy anymore things just changing as is life and I don't think they mind losing fans if it means more space to exist how they want they don't want to lose us obviously they've talked about that which is why they tryna take us on this journey with them but they've weighed the options and decided they can afford to cut their losses because they've also talked about that how some fans will probably be mad but real ones gon stick around at the end if the day this is a fandom for musical artist not a hostage situation

"I don't think they mind losing fans if it means more space to exist how they want"

Opinions.

[anonil88]

Under the bridge (hulu) finale liveblog/reaction

- Jo is an asshole and Kelly is just stupidly vile as hell.

- I will say these young actors are all good as hell and have acted their be hinds off.

- I couldn't be in a gang cause I would roll my eyes so fast and just leave before one speech.

- Oooo "Mercy Alone" is a cold ass title. Pop off writers.

- He really became like a little brother and she is wrestling with getting wrapped up in the momentum kind of like Warren did.

- Thank god this house is getting shut down even though I'm sure they did goor and I appreciate that we finally see Cam in this house. We never saw her as a teen in the house and only an outsider looking in. But, now she's in it.

- Sigh they shouldn't have lied about that.

- Fuck you Kelly.

- Lmfao she said "ain't you a cop?" but this isn't just cam the cop this is cam the former 7 oaks girl. Kelly set them all up the minute they got to that police station knowing none of those girls had options or legal resources except for her. She was an awful friend if they can even call her that and did an evil action. What amug ass, fuck.

- Good job Cam, her relationship or not, its not yours to manipulate the hell. That's her symbiotic relationship.

- Well he ain't wrong Becca, you involved yourself the minute you walked into seven oaks.

- The more realistic non hear say versions of the fight is horrible. Teenagers are led by their short impulses and peer pressure. Easier to say "I don't know" than no, and thats not an age thing that I'd a human thing.

- Again these young actors are fan fucking tastic. I hope and wish them all to get many roles post this show. So nice to see budding quality talent.

- It's just a case to her dad but to his daughter it's her life. It could have been her if it was 30 years before. He sees what he wants to see but not the reality outside of his own. You're her dad but this is something she will now wrestle with her entire life and could've been prevented. There's other ways like as soon as she's in your care tell her about where she came from and ask if she'd like to establish a relationship or connection with her family and community. Delayed her sense of self, for what?

- Grief has finally hit her mom, Suman, whereas it hit dad the minute his daughter was missing. The minute the cops showed up he knew it in his gut. I hope the real Virks have gotten so much healing and peace in their life since then. The grief will never leave any of them and it is likely embedded into every moment, but I hope they have found some peace.

- The right person. Whew great direction here 👏🏾.

- A little kindness goes a long way and can change your entire life. I say it often but a lot of crimes no matter the age of the assailant are made by very angry children. Some are trying to inflict the same pain onto others or release their own. Others well others just are too angry to do anything outside of anger.

- Insanity plea? No, she's just got no kindness in her heart.

- What a sweet baby, sigh he doesn't really understand why they're all dressing up.

- Cam looks great out of a uniform.

- 5 years, in actuality she got way more later, and he who feels remorse for what he did got life. I'm talking about the initial rulings, not what occurred after of people gettibg more time or getting paroled. Kelly here only feels upset that she was caught.

- Sit with a bunch of fuck ass dickheads. No. Ayyyy cam out of uniform !!! We love to see it!

- I love that they end on a cordial note and found the beauty. The beauty of giving yourself mercy and trying to forge a new path.

- Becca's shoes and jeans look like a little kids. He really did just slip 😢.

- Jo and Kelly. Nah Nicole and Kelly, them real hoes are birds of a feather. I hope someone calls them cunts to their faces at least once a month. From prison cell to 9-5 them two are nasty pieces of work. Took Kelly another infraction and two kids to go huh okay let me finally admit my guilt now. Now that my fate is sealed.

- Ooo that end got me, i aint cry but ooo i teared up as soon as the cd skipped. R.i.p Reena Virk, i wish you had better friends. Real friends.

Final thoughts:

- Fantastic end to this show and phenomenal acting from everyone involved. Not just this episode but the entire season the acting has been metered so well even if i missed it at first. The soundtrack and editing in every episode has been so good. Timing of certain tracks and score was really effective in swallowing the viewer these last 3/4 episodes. Absolutely fantastic finale.

[mothicality]

post discusses selfharm a lot, though no details beyond it being selfharm and having scars. also mentions suicide attempts (no details)

guy with anxiety experiences anxiety, what a shocker!

did. big anxieties today. wishing two people would adopt me (host of nerd club (be my dad please) + dm for my d&d group at the nerd club (be my big brother please))

earlier today i decided to go to the pharmacy on my own for the first time ever. which is very scary. i cannot go shopping on my own but pharmacy is like a middle step since less options and you can get the clerk to help you super easy. still really scary, biggest shopping ive done alone before that was mcdonalds ;-;

but i bought gauze-ish stuff and disinfectant wipes. had to ask about it and i feel like the clerk was guessing it was selfharm related but she didnt ask. she was sorta tense and cautious with her answers but she was still nice and wasnt invasive or anything, so still good experience and i got the stuff

and then. so i go to the nerd club once a week, been there four times now, and i am a very warm person and it is fairly warm there so i get Hot. so i would like to wear shortsleeves to be less hot. but i am visibly Quite Scarred, which, well. i have no experience with people who arent familiar with selfharm, so going somewhere like that with my scars visible is scary

so i messaged the host a few days ago on messenger, no answer so i asked about how to contact him personally outside nerd club and he gave me his phone number (privilege!he wants to keep his work and personal life separate so not many get access to it), so i messaged him again when i got home 4ish hours ago

and. he just replied. and im too anxious to open it but he has guessed it is selfharm. i dont really know why i didnt outright say it, it's just. difficult i guess

since i was 12, pretty much all my interaction with other people irl has been within mental health contexts

i moved into my first grouphome then. the people there were familiar with selfharm since everyone there is mentally unwell, and one of the other residents had visible selfharm scars and sometimes wounds

my second group home was for kids with more severe issues, so theyre definitely also experienced with it, and they knew i was moved to that group home because of two suicide attempts

and then outside that i'm only really ever at appointments at the psych facility or the government - all people who have read about me before meeting me, who knows lots about me and my issues and whatnot

oh and with my family, all of us are mentally ill so theyre familiar with mental issues, and my mom used to selfharm a lot and has had several suicide attempts, so theyre familiar with it through her too

but now. ive joined three clubs, two of which are in person. these clubs have nothing to do with mental health and such, the nerd club is actually just a regular school club thats been opened up to people outside the school. so...it's different here. i don't know how to...be, i guess. i don't know what is or isn't okay. it's hard

i struggle socially there - they're really kind and welcoming and understanding, but...i don't know, maybe it's just anxiety, but i feel like i mess up more than they do, even though they don't get upset with me. i'm almost constantly anxious about missing social rules and what is and isn't okay to do

bleh. so yeah. big anxiety today. but it's...a good kind, in a way, i guess. it's because i'm doing difficult things that i previously couldn't. it's...progress, development.

dont know where i was going with this. just to vent out my anxiety i guess . . . i'm glad it's getting better

[argentsunshine]

anon with the add on back :

yeah, now that you explain it does make a bit more sense but it. just hurts because whereas they acknowledged yusuke blantantly lying about madarame stealing his work, they seem to just completely kind of ignore akechi's warnings and that doesnt even make sense to me.. they dont even really acknowledge it, all because they dont know who he's working for until the last minute, and that doesnt make sense to me at all. but ty for taking ur time to ramble: i actually do it myself a lot, and i have so many thoughts abt so many things that i'd like to explore more in depth but can't put in words myself .. i'd just wish theyd atleast acknowledge that akechi is being used the same way everyone else was instead of ignoring it, even if they still cant continue to aid him: it feels like they didnt try (to me), even with ryuji's ... hatred for him, i'd atleast think that ryuji would atleast try to acknowledge it and want to do something but being unable to instead of still being an ass, even if goro is one as well (and i think, speaking of mental illness, as someone with npd and aspd and avpd, goro has both symptoms of npd and aspd: futaba has symptoms of avpd, but thats a topic at a later time.) and i think goro's not truly being himself in 3rd sem when he's blunt and mean, that he's still constantly masking, as people with npd and or aspd do like myself, and he's tired of being nice on tv so he has to pull thin insults when in real life because as much as he masks, it gets annoying, and he (along with myself and many others) likely has low empathy and just thinks of others (especially those of ryuji's caliber, as much as i love ryuji and everyone else) as , well put, idiots, because they dont know as much as he does, and the fact that they know more than him in the metaverse has likely made him crash (his engine room was essentially an npd crash, i think), but them not knowing "basic information" (as my brain puts) likely gives him a narc high, which also leads to thinly veiled insults.. adding onto the npd goro akechi, i think akira is his ep (Equal Person-- people w/ npd hold them to high standards, higher than they hold for themselves, and expects them to challenge eachother-- essentially akechi's rivalry with akira.. in alternative, bpd akira tells me that akechi is his FP, but i can discuss that at a later time)

regardless, and apologizes for this long paragraph, tysm for responding because that does make things a little clearer, and no one's really talked to me about it before, so thank you :D

yeah, i absolutely get where you're coming from - although i think the statement "they're ignoring his warnings because they don't know who he's working for" has the flipside of "by the time those warnings are given, the thieves already know he's the black mask and is presumably being manipulated by someone, so he's not actually warning them about anything they don't already know"

but yeah, the only reason i don't think they should have reached out to him pre-engine room is that i don't know when in the story that would have been an option: their plan to find out who his boss was wouldn't have worked if they'd tipped him off to the fact that they knew he was the black mask, and after 11/20, he thinks Akira's dead, and i doubt he would gave listened to any of the others. i think Ryuji's treatment of him us also kind of a result of Ryuji's general main story characterisation - in game the vibe is very much that ryuji doesn't like him because he's popular and smarmy and talked shit about the thieves on live tv, rather than the fact that he's a murderer, but they don't let ryuji have complex takes on things in the story ever. now im thinking about their relationship in my palace au lmao. if i were to frame it in more. terms. idk. ryuji hates the detective prince. but akechi doesn't respect ryuji so ryuji has no reason to try harder

and on the npd/aspd front - I'm not super familiar with npd but i can absolutely see that (i think akechi has a bunch of obvious Mental Illness Symptoms that are common to a lot of things, which is why i think mentally ill bitches latch onto him no matter what's going on. people saying he has npd have always sounded right to me i think he's autistic also because -- well you heard what i said about unsympathetic symptoms of mental illness last time) but as someone who has some symptom overlap i think youre 100% right on stuff i know about. low empathy bitches rise up.

but yeah, i think a lot of stuff is kind of the result of the writers seeming constantly all over the place with him. i think it's especially bad in the section from 11/20 to the engine room, because while i think in royal there was some vision for who he was supposed to be, everything in vanilla is far more over the place, and in some cases vanilla's contradictory writing of him is made worse by its interactions with royal's akechi content. because 11/20 isn't designed to accommodate for the possibility that this guy could be your actual friend rather than a guy you've spoken to a few times turned tenuous ally turned traitor. i don't think akechi ever would have acted differently in a way that mattered, but the way the thieves talk about him is in line with his flatter villain characterisation in that period in vanilla. he's a terrible irredeemable evil person until just before he dies, and then he's a tragic victim to the point that in the shadow shido fight, they talk as if akechi wasn't responsible for any of his own actions, despite the fact that he was demonstrably doing it of his own free will. and then he dies and you're not supposed to care because he's a Bad Guy so they barely bring him up again in vanilla. all that rings a little strange with the royal stuff

anyway all this has got me thinking about the dynamics between akechi and the non-akira thieves. i should really keep writing my akira's palace fic

[problemnyatic]

how do you move on from something terrible you may have done while you were at the lowest point youd ever been in your life? how do you forgive yourself when closure is not an option? i want to apologize to them but i cant. i cant contact them ever and i cant even remember what i did, only guess with that memory is left to me. and there might be a part of me thats still too bitter to apologize. they talk so much about love but when i was bleeding on the floor they kicked me before they left, they talked shit behind my back while i was out of it and delusional and unable to explain anything. and now ive heard they talk about healing from Me. they never brought up a single thing about my behaviour until they told me to get fucked then told me my communication is shit and that im a hypocrite. i had no clue id done anything wrong until they abandoned me. what am i even supposed to do in a situation like this

I... worry that it will become a pattern that folks come to me expecting me to solve their deeply tangled emotional knots. While I have the ability to, it takes a lot to even receive an ask like this, let alone to answer it adequately. I am not a therapist, I am simply getting a good grade in therapy. I will answer this one, but please, folks, I have less energy to spare than it may seem. I can't save all of you individually.

With that said..

I've done terrible things in the past that I'd take back in a second. I've had moments where I know others came away hurt, but I'll never know if I could've done better in the moment, if it was truly my own failing that was the key factor at play.

The ambiguous ones are harder.

Ultimately, you will need to learn for yourself how to make peace with the past. It cannot be changed. And it seems that in your case, you've taken disproportionate and inhumane punishment for whatever your infractions may have been.

When we carry the past on our shoulders, agonizing on what the "right" way to feel about it is, we keep ourselves from moving forward, from growing. Regardless of how much, and of what, was your fault, it seems the best path is to let go and move on.

It's never gonna feel good.

But the best you can do by those you have wronged is to grow, and that means leaving your regrets die and decompose to fertilze the soil you grow from. Move forward with stronger boundaries, moving more slowly, mindfully of others. Understand your limits, and be forthright with them - even if they feel shameful, the right people would be glad to have the heads up, rather than have to pry them from hiding or worse- hit them like a landmine.

And ultimately? If you were never told you needed to change until they'd already burned the bridge? That's on them. Even if you'd been doing wrong by them, even if you'd secretly been a horrible friend, expecting someone to read minds and simply Realize They're Fucking Up without ever being actually told is petty, avoidant bullshit.

The right friends know when to tell you to fuck off before real damage is done.

Take a deep breath, and as you let it out, slowly, let the past flow out with it. There's nothing to be salvaged back there, but the future can be, the present can be.

I'm sorry you went through this, and good luck going forward♡

[tmgstudios]

i was wondering if you could explain how some of your narcolepsy symptoms feel? ive been noticing possible symptoms in myself lately and wanted to hear what symptoms feel like (ive been doing medical research as well!) Symptoms like:

daytime sleepiness

automatic behaviors

(if possible) cataplexy

sleep attacks (i think thats what theyre called?)

hello hi! sorry it took me so long to get to this i've been super busy with finals LMAO. symptoms can feel different for everyone but ill try my best to give you my experience!!

daytime sleepiness: for me this is basically just what it says on the tin. im really sleepy and tired during the day. contrary to what i believed for a lot of my life, it is not normal to feel tired during the day, every day!!

automatic behaviors: for me this manifests a lot when writing or walking. after my brain says to stop writing my hand keeps going, not really writing words anymore just like. kinda scribbling. same goes for drawing on paper. my hand just keeps going. and for walking, sometimes ill tell my brain to stop walking and ill keep going another few steps. theres probably some others i just don't notice because they don't happen as often but yeah those are the main two for me

cataplexy: i have narcolepsy type-2, aka narcolepsy without cataplexy, so i cant actually give you anything on this one, sorry! i know a couple of my followers do so feel free to add on if you want! or if you have cataplexy and just see this in the wild lmao

sleep attacks: from what ive been able to gather from talking to other people with narcolepsy, these manifest in a lot of different intensities for everyone. for me, sleep attacks are a sudden wave of extreme tiredness and my brain telling me "you need to take a nap Right Now". i'm able to push through and stay awake if i need to, but i really try not to because i'll end up with a killer migraine lmao

again, these symptoms can totally manifest differently for everyone, so i wouldnt totally discount narcolepsy as a possibility if my experiences don't match up with yours! all and all if you suspect even a little that you might have narcolepsy, i recommend talking to a sleep specialist(if you can obviously, ik it's not an option for everyone). i've said it before and ill say it again, narcolepsy is super under-diagnosed and mis-diagnosed because people don't know the symptoms/don't think the symptoms they notice "count" as narcolepsy, so yeah! do research! talk to a doctor if you can!!

sorry again that i answered this so late, i wish you luck!!! feel free to ask any other questions you may have i promise i will try to get back to you sooner LMAO

[realasslesbian]

so you've stated before you think non-gold stars can be lesbians. how can a female thats slept with males be a lesbian ?

Well, you see, living in Australia means I'm pretty much surrounded by countries that still criminalise homosexuality. A lot of the lesbians I've met over the years have fled these countries. I've heard stories about arranged marriages and conversion therapy and corrective rape and other assorted horrors that, as a westerner, I could barely imagine otherwise. Hearing these stories is actually what made me pursue international gay and lesbian rights for my legal honours thesis, and it's a topic I've remained interested in ever since.

I think us first-world gays have a very insular and protected view of the world. Sure, we might have experienced some homophobia and probably still do. I've been stalked by cops and fired from a job for being a lesbian. But that's a very different, and comparatively privileged, experience to the very real and immediate fear for your life that most gays and lesbians around the world still live with, every second of their lives.

I think the idea that ONLY gold star lesbians are real lesbians is a very first-world perspective that ignores the experience of the majority of gays and lesbians around the world. I don't think a lesbian choosing to sleep with a man when the other option is being forcibly drugged, sterilised, mutilated, correctively raped, tortured and/or murdered, really says anything about whether she's a 'real lesbian' or not. Sure, a lot of lesbians in these situations still do endure the violence or even die before trying men, but I think it's more a case of 'would you prefer to jump out a burning building or die in the fire'. In any case, these are the kind of choices that most lesbians globally have to make, and stating that any woman who has chosen to sleep with men isn't really a lesbian I think at best is ignorant, and at worst is actually harmful to statistics about lesbian hate crimes.

That said, when another white first-world woman like myself proclaims she 'tried men, or even had a husband and five kids, but that doesn't make her any less of a lesbian and fuck them snotty gold stars who tell me otherwise', well, I'm probably gonna keep telling her otherwise lmao

Most of these females have led obviously simple lives, enjoying the benefits of a heterosexual relationship, and not experiencing any major hardship irt their sexuality. Certainly not the sort of 24/7, visceral, fear for your life, type of hardship most other lesbians in the world do. I think these first-world women trying to cry 'comphet' or whatever is actually kind of insulting to the lesbians around the world who have experienced actual violent compulsory heterosexuality. Folding to peer pressure is not anywhere in the same ballpark, and it actually makes me pretty fucking mad having to listen to that type of privileged bullshit.

Like, if we want to be controversial, I can maybe understand a female who tried men once, was disinterested, and has stuck to women ever since. I can't relate, because men gross me tf out so I would never be in that situation. But on the face of it, being a lesbian is just about exclusive attraction to women. You don't necessarily have to feel any type of way about men, other than just not being attracted to them. A female fucks a man once and says 'yeah nah that was boring as shit', I could probably accept her calling herself a lesbian. But if you've had three kids to five different baby daddies and a whole ass heterosexual marriage then lol sorry, but it's a no from me.

But again, that whole discourse is very first-world and I think the significance of it pales in comparison to what the majority of lesbian women in the world have to go through. To me the 'gold star lesbian' label is a bit of fun, and at its most serious reveals the face of heteronormativity which is increasingly permeating the first-world lesbian sphere. But imo, there's bigger fish to fry and I'm very hesitant with making any sort of sweeping generalisations about lesbians that doesn't sit well with what I know to be the reality for most lesbians around the world.