#blind dinosaur joke

[bluewhitehues]

Hug | Kim Mingyu

Summary: You secretly like your bestfriend chan,he has no idea and sets you up on a blind date with his friend and hyung Mingyu.

Genre: Angst? (Little bit), comfort, strangers to lovers, fluff

Pairing : Idol Kim Mingyu × (f) reader

Part 4

It was Sunday. The boys have their practice today that means mingyu and chan are going to meet. As soon as Mingyu goes to the practice room he spots chan but chan tries to avoid him lingering by seokmins side.

"YOU you fuvker come here right now-"

Mingyu tries to grab him while Chan's shoving a confused seokmin in between them he's asking what's this about ,what happened.

"This bastard told me he'd set me up on a date with y/n, turns out he told her it's a blind date instead of telling her it's a date with me"

"Ah hyuuung.. come on I tried my best for you two I had no other way i thought this would be the best option" chan whined

"Yah dino-ya that isn't nice, think about how he must've felt he was so excited to go" Seokmin scolds chan.

"Exactly my point ...what best option chan, did you even think about me? I thought she agreed on a date because she likes me as well ..did you think my feelings were a joke? Or am I that desperate that you'd have to lie to her for a date ? If I had known I'd find some other way to do it myself do you think I couldn't ask her myself? " Mingyu asks.. there's hurt clear in his eyes.

Chan feels terrible now his voice gets small when he speaks ,"hyung I'm so sorry...I should have thought about you more I didn't think that far, trust me I just wanted you two to get along and may be like each other cause you both are so precious to me and you both are one of the most amazing people I know ...I swear I just thought about your happiness."

Mingyu sighs," you shouldn't have done that but it's ok I forgive you."

He can't stay mad at his little brother for long anyway.

Chan hugs him suddenly, he really does feel very bad, "I'm sorry again hyungg you know I love you right?"

Mingyu pats his back while rolling his eyes, but he's smiling, "yeah yeah I love you too but never pull such stunts again."

Meanwhile there's jeonghan, hoshi and basically all the boys staring at them, they heard everything obviously.

"so you went on a date? That too with y/n ? And you didn't tell us?" Seungkwan speaks for everyone while they are nodding along with him waiting for mingyu to answer.

"It was a first date I didn't know what will happen ofcourse I was going to tell you all if it all worked out-" chan cuts him off, talking with his eyes widened, "wait a minute..it didn't go well?"

"I didn't say that."

"Then? " Chan asks again.

"I mean uh she was pretty shocked ..she didn't think it'd be me , so I didn't want to make her anymore uncomfortable, so we just talked normally, we went out for a walk then I dropped her off ."

"THAT'S IT??" Chan asked his eyes comically wide.

"uh yeah like I didn't want to burden her so I said we can be friends."

At this, they all collectively facepalm themselves.

"Seriously mingyu??? FRIENDS???" hoshi says looking at mingyu like he's ridiculous.

Jeonghan also steps in, "yeah like it was a date right? no romantic lovey dovey thing happened? Instead of asking her for another date you asked her to be friends?"

"You didn't even try to flirt with her or something? " Says Seungcheol.

"I did all this for nothing then" chan says in disbelief.

Mingyu closes his eyes, rubbing his hand on his forehead frustratingly at their questions. "Can you all just drop it please? I'll manage by myself thank you."

"yeah just lets get back to practice." Wonwoo says rubbing mingyu's back comfortingly.

Then they go on with their day.

And you, You're enjoying your weekend resting at home. When you get Chan's text.

Dinosaur 🦖: So you frienzoned mingyu hyung??

You: WHAT??? He said that??

You're confused Mingyu wouldn't do that, would he?

Dinosaur 🦖: No he said you were shocked,he didn't want to make you uncomfortable so he suggested you can be just friends.

Dinosaur 🦖: But hello I'm disappointed?? I even planned your wedding in my head and what did you do? You frienzoned each other 🤐🤐👏🏻👏🏻just great

You: woah woah no one told you to get that excited buddy and definitely not on a date which you planned by lying

Dinosaur 🦖: Pleaseee I said I'm sorry and don't make me feel more guilty I was already about to cry if mingyu hyung didn't forgive me...I don't think I can ever trouble him again even jokingly

You: was it that bad? Is he ok?

You can't help but feel bad thinking about him.

Dinosaur 🦖: well it's all my fault.. but girl atleast now you take some effort 🙄 I've found you such a great match and you're gonna keep him as your friend??

Dinosaur 🦖: God y/n even god wouldn't forgive such a thing.. I hate to say it but girls would die to be at your place right now.. GAME UPPPP I will even give you tips on how to flirt if you want

You roll your eyes at that.

You: Oh please I'm great at flirting you're the last person I'd take help from, you've done enough just go and focus on your practice for now..byeee

Dinosaur 🦖: BYE🙄🤐

Your thoughts take you to Mingyu again, "he must be hurt", "should I talk to him?", "what if he thinks I'm pitying him."

Your train of thoughts get interrupted by another ping of your phone , you pick it up to see mingyu's name on it.

On the other hand, Mingyu promises himself that he won't be sad anymore cause what is there to be sad about right? He's always the one who thinks about the brighter side of the situation, everyone says he's just too positive and hopeful even in the worst situations but Mingyu takes pride in that .. cause not many people have it, it takes a lot to be that positive,that courageous, that happy. So he's just gonna be himself.

Cause before yesterday, First- he didn't have your number, Second-you weren't on talking basis/you had zero connection, Three- He didn't have you even as a friend.. so for him it's win is a win kind of situation.

You read his text.

Mingyu : Heyy ..so chan asked me something about your purse??

You: oh shitt I forgot to tell you ..I lied about that to get your number from him 🫢

Mingyu: well don't worry I covered for you, you owe me something now👀 ..also should've asked me for my number directly, I'm more than willing to give it to you.

ONE THING ABOUT MINGYU IS HE WILL FLIRT, and your heart will suffer . Well in his defence he said you will be friends...there was no part where he mentioned he won't flirt or he won't try to woo you. So it seems you just gotta prepare yourself.

You huff at his reply, you started talking to him just from yesterday but you already got to know that this boy was a flirt ..a smooth one at that.

And were you feeling giddy, were you blushing? Well may be

You: Oh I'd have definately..asked it by myself. But you see it was an eventful day so kind of forgot to ask ...also yes I do owe you a big one, for yesterday as well ..tell me what I can do ? How about a meal?

Mingyu: Wouldn't that be a date?

You: it'd be whatever we will treat it as ..we said we'd be friends so it'll be us trying to build our friendship may be? Come on friends go to eat together all the time

Mingyu: Fair enough then, when will we go ?

You: Um I've work from tomorrow i'd be only free at dinner time 😕 is next week ok? If yes let me know when you're available

Mingyu: oh that's sad:( .. okay will go next week I'll let you know the time.

You: okayy cool ..see you then :)

Mingyu: Yes take care :))

You don't know but he's smiling at his phone right now, just as you are :)

In evening you meet chan he had promised you a meal so he's here at your apartment with lots of take out food and cake and muffins.

His practice was almost a day long so you had told him to just go home and take rest you'll plan to meet some another time . But he improvised the plan and came here.

You take all the food from him happily smiling looking at it..."Woahh you brought so much food"

He gives a toothy grin to you, "well I know you, I knew it'd keep you occupied "

You instantly stopped smiling and blinked at him ,"oh damn you almost had me distracted" you blink at him again.

He knows something is going to happen now, he is on alert..Then you're placing all the food down on the table, going to the couch grabbing a pillow andddddd he is running then, you run behind him.

"You asshole I promised myself i'd beat you up stop right there you bratttt"

He's screaming when you reach him and hit him with the pillow, "Ahhhhh this feels like some deja vu" he's running again and then going behind couch, giving those puppy eyes ..."I'm hungry" blink blink "I'm so tired and I was dancing the whole day, I'm so exhausted already and you're not even letting me eat I said sorry now stopp"

Your mouth hangs open at his antics..you huff..."Should learn emotional blackmailing from you ,go and wash your hands I'll get the plates"

He gives you a big big bright smile and runs to give you a quick hug before going to wash his hands.

You smile at him shaking your head.

You guys eat your food while talking.

He keeps asking about the date, so you tell him that it kinda got ruined because you were nervous so to make it up to Mingyu you decide to take him out for a meal .. he's teasing you about how it's a date when you keep denying it isn't.

"I don't know about you but on our planet here we humans call it a date" he says smugly.

You roll your eyes at him "whatever chan it's a friendly date then."

He shakes his head at you, saying you're impossible.

"Btw do you remember yunjin?"

"yeah the girl you're currently seeing ?"

"Yeah her...I think it's going to work out for me this time." He's smiling softly at his plate like he's thinking about her..."She's nice".

"woah woah look at you all blushing Lee chan"

He laughs," I just- I really hope it works out this time .. I've always wanted a serious relationship and this time it seems like it'd work ...I'm serious and I feel she is too." He says while smiling looking at you.

And honestly you want that for him as well.Cause he looks so happy just talking about her so sincerely. Whatever you thought about him you were never that childish to be jealous and think I wish I was the girl. No , you can't force someone's feelings. If he feels that for someone you'd always root for him. You always pray for your close people's happiness and he's one of them so why wouldn't you want that.

You coo at him.."Aww, I'm really rooting for you Chan you deserve it you deserve every happiness in this world."

He smiles at you, "thank you y/n, I'm also rooting for you" and then he dramatically winks at you. You know exactly what he's saying so you groan and threaten him to stab him with the fork if he doesn't shut up. He laughs at you.

Part 5

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A/n:Hey lovely readers, this is it for today hope you enjoy it💗

Also the female reader isn't someone too deeply hurt or too deeply in love (about chan) she is not the jealous type, she has made her peace with everything so you won't see her feeling all these emotions deeply.

[elli3luvs]

ahhhh i love your hc of football player!ellie 🥹 can i request one where this time, reader is a quiet/reserved person and although ellie doesn’t have problems socializing (she’s really known around campus!!!) she seems to be horrible at talking to reader lol 🤕 she just wants to impress her so baddd 😭

a/n: this is so cute something about ellie getting awkward around someone she likes 😭😭😭 it's so funny to me i might make a part two to this later as well i kinda didn't know how to end this lol

ellie williams wasn't the person you thought would be having issues. if it was anyone, you have usually struggled to talk to people at the party your friends inevitably dragged you to.

yet, here you were.

sitting next to ellie who stuttered through two half-sentences before shutting up.

all she said was a pitiful, 'what's y-y-your maj-" before sighing and trying again but only got to stutter out, 'how o-old...?"

she now had her eyes closed while her head rested against the back of the couch. your eyes darted around trying to grasp at anything to not make her feel bad. you didn't really know what to do in this situation. people usually carried the conversation, not the other way around.

you lick your lips, "what's your favorite animal?" her head lifts from its original position as she cracks a smile.

"do dinosaurs count?"

you smile back at her giddy demeanor, "of course they do. what's your favorite?"

she sets her beer on the table in front of the couch, turning her whole body to you, "oh man, i could go on for hours. right now though? it has to be a-"

someone randomly shouts out, 'ellie williams!!!' which makes her stop and acknowledge them. they do a bro hug which makes you cringe a bit before they banter for a couple minutes. she was flowing with the conversation, not a single stutter in sight.

it comes so naturally to her right then so why was she so awkward with you? it stumped you.

she's chucking as she sits back down next to you, your previous conversation gone to the wind. she is back to awkwardly rubbing her hands while glancing at you.

after the thirtieth glance in 15 seconds, you look at her. she looks shocked as you lock eyes.

"do i have something on my face? why do you keep looking at me like that?"

a blush appears on her face while she coughs out like your question blind-sided her.

she pats her chest trying to stop coughing before she says, "i stare because you're... ya know, p-pretty." you don't miss the way the tips of her ears turn crimson.

you roll your eyes at her, "how many girls have you said that to tonight?" her face turns serious at your joke.

ellie shakes her head, "only you." the two of your hold eye contact for a moment before you have to break it. she clears her throat as the tension settles heavily.

she gets up, sauntering over to a group of people huddled in the corner. she fits in with them almost immediately, with no awkward sentences or fluttering looks.

for the rest of the night, you have to pretend you don't see her staring at you from across the room. you have to pretend that the idea of someone like ellie williams liking you didn't make you giddy.

but it did.

[doggoboigaugau]

Stray dog (Part 3)

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 4 / Part 5

Pairings: Ghost x Soap x Male Reader

Long story short: my old acc got terminated for no reason so I'm reposting all this💀👍

Summary: Soap invited Male Reader to join Ghost and his favorite documentaries about dinosaur fossils :D (Ghost very loves dinosaurs y'all cannot tell me otherwise).

Word count: 1950

Warnings: Nothing. It's all fluff this time.

You lost track of time and ended up stopping only when your whole body screamed at you to rest. Looking up from the training gears, you realized that there was no one left in the room. It was a habit of you to ignore everyone and everything surrounding you when it is not necessary, or maybe it’s more like a coping mechanism, since this little tricky skill prevented you from taking in redundant information, such as a close group of men joking around with each other.

This very common sight in the military and especially in the training ground always succeeded in rendering you uncomfortable, and a vague but stingy feeling prevails over your chest, sometimes so badly that it even made breathing difficult.

No matter how hard you tried to brush it aside, dismissing it as something trivial and irrelevant, you knew damn well the cause of it: You once wished to belong to a group of friends that were so close that you all would spend time doing everything together, going on mission, training, drinking, and getting drunk together at the bar. Obviously, it had never happened. It never would, judging from how every time it was only you who got left behind, drowning yourself in overpriced alcohol and your own overwhelming emotions.

It was pitch black outside as you left the training centre. You dragged your fatigued body back to the base of your Task Force, but surprisingly, in contrast to your current physical state, your mind felt empty for now. In a good way. No burdening streams of thoughts, not a single fuck given about how others saw you. You felt kind of free.

‘Guess it’s a good point for not being around people.’ On your sweat-strained face drew a genuine smile. Some people would think that it was weird to smile over something like this, not having any close people around you and just spending your entire day loitering around, doing something you considered to be productive but by no means enjoyable. To them, you were not living a life. You were only surviving through it.

Not that you would complain though. Nor were you in the position to be able to complain about it.

Your blurred vision and the dull pain in your chest reminded you that you hadn’t eaten anything since lunch, which was almost 10 hours ago. Slowly making your way to the kitchen, you decided to turn a blind eye to the kitchen sink and approached the fridge, hoping that they’d be kind enough to leave you some leftovers.

What greeted you in the fridge confounded you as you looked at a carefully prepared dish wrapped in aluminum foil with a sticky pink note on top of it.

‘want to call ya 4 dinner earlier but ya seem to enjoy the training a lot. plz eat this when ya done with the training~’ was written on the piece of paper together with a little ugly and distorted heart shape, which made you chuckle. It was not difficult to guess who left this for you. You shook your head in amusement while putting the dish into the microwave oven.

Sitting down at the empty table in the dimly lit dining room, you slowly enjoyed the meal that Soap had saved for you. Then again, amid the quiet atmosphere that was free of any stimulations, your mind began to do the thing that it excelled in, drifting away. Your unusually calm thoughts appeared like a grainy film rolling before your eyes, replaying every delightful moment that you had shared with the Scottish and other team members, like when you, Soap, Gaz, and Roach pulled a whole prank on Price during your team’s vacation while Ghost sat behind and watched with amusement in his eyes. Or when you and Roach hid one of Price’s hats unknowing that it was a piece of memorabilia of his old teammate, and as result, making that poor old dad all stressed out finding it everywhere. Or when Price decided to catch you two and make you face the consequences of your actions that time and you were so scared that you never run that fast out of battle before. Or when you had no choice but to hide behind Ghost as he was watching his favorite boring documentaries, and he looked down at you obviously contemplating whether he should help you or not as you tried to convince him with your big puppy eyes. Or when you disobeyed Price’s orders to turn back and save Soap when he fell into the enemy’s trap and was pushed into the corner.

You laughed to yourself at this point, remembering vividly what a mess that time was. You two almost blindly fired your guns at the swarm of enemies circling you. As you barely escaped, Soap cursed very loudly in Scottish while his hand threw bombs toward your enemies. It was a mission that you would never forget, a piece of memory that you’d take to the grave, not only because of how badly injured you were and the prolonged period of time you had to spend in the hospital, but also because of how Soap looked at you. After that near-death experience, whenever your eyes and his met, his eyes evidently softened, and you enjoyed every little second of it. It made you feel like, eventually, you were special to someone, like you weren’t just anybody, but someone unique that was closely linked to a hardly forgettable remembrance. It raised your hope–something that you had thought to never regain, since at least when you died, there would still be one person who would keep the image of you inside one of their billion fragments of memory.

Of course, after the certain mission, both you and Soap were heavily reprimanded by Kate and Price, you for the obvious reason of disobeying orders, and Soap for his stupid addiction to blowing things up, which worsened you two’s already horrendous injuries because at the time of the explosion you were still too close to the spot.

“What are you smiling about?” You jumped at the sudden voice that broke the room’s silence.

Soap laughed at your reaction, “Why are you so tense?” He sat down, being so near to you that your thighs touched each other. He threw his big muscular arm over your shoulder, grinning broadly, “Temme, what is so fun that you smile like that?”

“It’s nothing.” You blushed at how close you two were, silently praying that the light of the room was too feeble for him to notice.

He pinched your face, causing you to grimace, “I don’t believe ya. It’s so rare to see ya smile so cutely like this. Must have some special reason.”

Definitely you could not tell him that you were thinking of the team, and especially him, so you decided to keep silent and enjoy your meal. Maintaining eye contact was like torture to you, so your eyes were just glued to the plate until you finished. Therefore, you also missed his eyes, along with how he looked at you.

From Soap’s point of view, all that he could see at that moment was how lovely his boy was. The way his big puppy eyes widened when he suddenly talked. The way his body which was athletic but so slender when compared to Soap’s trembled slightly as he jumped. How the faint blush quickly deepened and then spread from his handsome adorable face to his delicate neck. The nice and warm feeling that Soap’s fingers felt when he pinched the boy’s cheek. And also how his long eyelashes shadowed his eyes as he looked down at his plate of food. It was so lovely that Soap volunteered to be trapped in this moment forever.

As you’d done eating and washing the dish, you came back into the dining room and saw Soap still sitting there.

The Scot chuckled at your expression, “What is that face, Y/n? Are you that annoyed because I’m still here?”

You unknowingly pouted, which only made you look even cuter in his eyes, “No.”

“Ghost is watching his stupid boring documentaries again. Wanna join?”

“You came here from the TV room?”

“Yeah. Now do you come or not?”

You scoffed, “Are you inviting me nicely or just gonna coerce me into it anyway?”

Soap didn’t reply, just amusingly shrugged his shoulders.

“Fine, I’ll come.”

“That’s my boy!” The older man approached you, then threw his arm over your shoulder again. Judging from how you barely kept up with his pace in this awkward position, he definitely coerced you into this by all means.

When you two arrived, the light in the TV room was turned off, and the only source of light left was the TV screen. Ghost was sitting on the sofa alone, eyes glued to the screen that was playing some kind of dinosaur fossils, while Price was sleeping in his favorite spot–the single couch. You swiftly looked around to see if Gaz and Roach were here or not, only to find the two idiots hugging each other on the carpet, drooling and snoring loudly.

Ghost turned his head to look at you and Soap as you were literally pushed into the room by the Scot. His out-of-nowhere eagerness strangely made you laugh.

“Daddy chill.” You jokingly said and sat down beside Ghost, completely overlooking how Soap’s flippant expressions froze for brief seconds.

“Finished your dinner?” Ghost suddenly spoke up.

You were taken aback simply because the masked man hardly ever cared what others were doing with their life outside of missions, particularly for some trivial things like taking care of your daily needs.

“Y-yes, Sir!”

Soap burst into laughter, so hard that he fell to your side, hugging his belly.

“LMAO! What was that, Y/n??? You’re scared of Ghost that much???”

“What? What???” You frowned in confusion. You were even more confused when you heard a soft chuckle from the masked man that was sitting on your left.

“Why are you two laughing? There’s nothing funny!”

“It is funny! Do you see how you shudder like a puppy under Ghost’s glare? I wish I had recorded it!”

“Gosh! I hate you Soap!” You growled under your breath as you launched your whole body into him while Soap was still barely able to put himself together from his stupid sense of humor.

You two soon began to fight each other, giggling like two mischievous kids, completely forgetting that there was Ghost right next to you, who probably got accidental punches and kicks continuously by the unaware manchildren. However, the masked man was not mad at you two for disturbing him from enjoying his favorite show at all; instead, he often stole glances at you two with pure delight in his eyes. Seeing you finally being able to relax among the team was a sight that he wanted to witness all his life. It would take more time for you to pull down the walls you had built around yourself and let them come inside, but for now, this was already enough.

After a while, the giggling and fighting noises abated. You were sleeping soundly, face on Soap’s broad chest and arms around his waist. Soap’s eyes softened as he looked at how peaceful you were at the moment, before looking up to meet Ghost’s. The two men stayed in their position, didn’t move an inch, until Soap fell his eyelids become heavier and fell asleep as well, and Ghost turned off the TV, thereby extinguishing the only source of light in the room. He rested his head on your lower back, slowly drifting off.

To be continued...

[britt-kageryuu]

It's early evening, things are calm, and Donnie is playing as a Horrible Goose. He has his model dressed in his Dinosaur Onesie, and matching slippers, and on the purple inflatable chair, against a background that made it look like he mas next to a pond somewhere. Animated turtles are swimming in said pond, including a softshell that keeps popping up to 'bite' the chair.

"This game very much matches my more mild Cain Instincts. Maybe I'll recommend this to Blue later. Though I must make sure he's never seen anything about the game first. Dubious Chuckle." Donnie does lets out a sinister sounding chuckle. "Clears Throat. I mean, I must be sure he plays this blind, it would be more entertaining! For you, and for me ofcourse."

Suddenly a loud mechanical hiss and growl could be heard, that startles Donnie. He quickly paused the game, and removed his headphones to check out what made the noise. His model goes off screen which reveals an animated red eared slider now basking on the seat of the chair. It has a little speech bubble that says 'BRB!!'

Chat goes nuts with many already creating Conspiracy Theories, while others are spamming how cute the little turtle animations look.

A few minutes later Donnie comes back, sits back down, and puts his headphones back on, all while looking mildly annoyed.

"Annoyed Sigh. Before anyone asks, that was River. A while back I bought her a game to keep her distracted that she wanted. But now she's annoyed because there is currently a bug that crashes the game every few times she cooks, and she also can't find a collectable, and every search result for it's location is one she already got." He decides to take his frustration out on the glasses wearing kid that is needed to continue the area puzzles/to-do list. "We believe the Collectables might not be labeled properly in the guides because of a different set where the first one in the list order is the last you collect for the area."

He proceeded to steal a bunch of random stuff from the market stalls, even stuff not necessary for the task list. Honking all the while.

"I wonder how hard it would be to re-skin the Goose into something else? I'll try that out later. As for Rivers game problem? It's apparently a common issue, and many have a similarly problem. Including one of the lists saying an item is missing, when the list is fully checked off."

A donation notification goes off that gets 'chased' off the screen by a goose with a purple bandana and Donnies goggles.

"Thank you for the donation, but the message was cut off, again. I guess that's another thing to work on later!" Donnie suddenly stretches out his body while still sitting. Arms stretched above his head with his hands clasped together, his legs held out straight with his slipper covered feet at slightly odd angles. Slight cracks or pops can be picked up by the mic. Ending with a loud yawn from Donnie himself.

"It's still early, but I feel like it's much later, must be from staying up too late last night watching memes... and I'll do it again tonight because I don't always control how easy it is to sleep! Light laugh, or would it be joking?" Donnie looks upward while thinking. He then pulls out his phone to check something. "Darn, it's definitely too late to have my preferred drink, and I'm being lightly threatened to get to sleep before midnight. The horror!"

He says all of this is such a deadpan tone that chat doesn't know how to interpret the moment.

"Okay, let's get the next area completed, then I will have to swim off to dinner. So let's embrace the goose, and annoy more people!!!"

The stream ends an hour later, with at least 4 new emojis of geese dressed in color coded bandanas, and a accessory to match their turtle counterparts.

--------------------

Masterpost

[si-wildchild-queen]

Bloodmoon X Partially Blind Reader!. ~

ROMANTIC!.

(From My Other Account.) ~ Will Be Sharing Soon!.

"Goodnight Sweet Crimson ~"

BloodMoon cooed from the other end of the phone.

You lightly smiled to yourself.

"Goodnight Bloodmoon...."

With that you hung up the phone, deciding to get all cozy and curled up in your bed, you spent what felt like an eternity trying but clearly failing at falling asleep!.

Groaning in annoyance, you tapped the screen on your phone.

"It's 8:50?!?."

You shoved your face into the pillow, accepting that your attempts at getting an early good night's sleep would fail...again....

Shuffling out of the bed, you stretched your arms out like a dinosaur and let out a big yawn, smiling to yourself, you decided that it would be a good time to get some fresh air...after all it was the best time for you sight wise- you were partially blind...if the room or atmosphere wasn't dimmed down light wise...then it could be a bit difficult to see...it was manageable of course but your vision wasn't at its peak like it could be in this moment.

Taking a step out the door, you groaned in slight annoyance as a car with its headlights on..extra bright!. Sat there in the parking lot, facing towards you-

A few blurs emerged, attempting to cloud your bettered vision.

Placing a hand over your eyes, you quickly turned the other way and began your walk around the neighborhood.

(Sorry if this part is a bit inaccurate for anybody🥺.)

You heard some rustling in an alleyway nearby, now normally you wouldn't come near that particular area...but something was telling you that this time was different...

Cautiously making your way to the noise, you slowly peeked your head around the corner-

Your eyes widened.

Someone was getting viciously attacked by a kitten!.

It's hisses indicated that it was a very angry kitty....

You marched your way forward but froze as the "Ows." And "Bad Kitty's." Sounded like BloodMoons voice...

You took a few steps forward, slightly hoping that it was him...you had never gotten a good look at him before..

*That'll be the day.* You thought to yourself and sighed.

"Bloodmoon?."

The figure froze, his hold on the kitten loosened, causing it to run over to you.

Rubbing against your leg, it's demeanor changed...purring, you picked it up and smiled!.

It was so tiny, you assumed it must have been the runt out of its liter... And it had the cutest striped plastered on its face!.

Its paws looked to have unique stripes on them as well...

You lightly chuckled at the kitten.

"Well aren't you quite the unique kitty?."

You lightly frowned as the voice that you had completely forgotten about spoke up.

"(Y/n?). Is that really you?"

(We're gonna say there are street lights so you're not in complete darkness)

Him taking a few steps forward, you held the kitten close to your chest, the kitten seeming to enjoy the attention...

Your mouth gaped a bit in awe, your free hand reached up to cup BloodMoons cheek.

BloodMoons expression changed from confusion to worry.

"What are you doing out here at this hour?. Don't you know it's dangerous?."

You sighed and glanced away for a moment, looking down at the kitten that was now asleep you smiled softly.

BloodMoons eyes widened a bit.

"Wait a second....(Y/n?)...Can you see me?."

You looked back up to BloodMoon and nodded.

"Yes!. I Can!."

You lightly giggled, feeling joy.

BloodMoons smile widened and he hugged you!.

Pulling away, he gave a light eskimo kiss.

The kitten stirred in its sleep, BloodMoon put a hand on it and gently patted its head.

He chuckled.

"I know this looks bad...but I can explain."

Bloodmoon put a hand to the back of his neck, scratching it in a nervous manner.

"I like to go out at night and I saw the kitten, and I thought- well that's one less kitten wandering the streets and- um...-

You giggled.

"It's okay...I always knew you were a softy...but I didn't know it was this bad."

You lightly joked.

Bloodmoon smiled, hugging you once more, he rested his chin on the top of your head.

"Maybe we should do this more often?. Hanging out when it's dark I mean-

Bloodmoon started to stumble over his words.

"Yeah...I would like that a lot actually...if we're being honest..."

You pull away giving a slightly guilty look.

"We could have been doing this for awhile if we had just been a tinsy bit better at communication...we would have known our terrible sleep schedules."

You laughed, Bloodmoon laughing along with you.

"I'm a night owl...I can't sleep but I try."

Bloodmoon deepened the hug.

"Me too."

[astridhoff03]

The animated empire strikes back version of a Series!

DreamWorks I have some questions regarding the 9 realms. How on this green earth is it possible that you put out a show a year before, who disrespects one of your most beloved and greatest trilogies of all time and then a year later you put this emotional roallercoaster of a Sequel Show on, who isn’t directed to any of your own movies? How? As a huge httyd-fan I‘m now again sad how T9R turned out to be. Why couldn’t you do the same with T9R? Why?

About Chaos Theory: It was…an Amazing thriller ride with personally my favorite dinosaur, the allosaurus. I really like the animation on him, how he moves and runs, his whole design with the blind eye and the grey and black of his scales. What a magnificent beast. According to the trailers Brooklynn is dead and we know that since trailer 2, but even though it’s a spoiler and an important plot point, the show still mastered to feel this heartbreaking loss as Ben told Darius again in his Cabin. With a little foreshadowing with Darius‘ Flashback when he Looks the Allosaurus straight in his blind eye, which is by the way my favorite scene from the First episode, this even got more intense. I really love how they developed the characters, especially Darius with his guilt and his PTSD. The different character dynamics are again so good and interesting. Man and I really enjoyed the cinematography with all the lighting and the landscape and so on. Just a little fun fact; they always use the same road when they drive trough and the only thing that is different is the environment and sometimes it isn’t but this is not a big issue. By the way fun in the clips I never thought that the Jokes would land, but they surprisingly do. It has the perfect dynamic between jokes and seriousness. Also Yaz will always be my favorite character, her and Sammy are so cute. I love their relationship.

I honestly don’t care much about the Jurassic Park/World Franchise, except the accuracy of the Dinosaurs and the Dinosaur-Action, but Camp Cretaceous and now Chaos Theory get me invested in one part of this big franchise. Idk why but this series gives me httyd2 and httyd3 Vibes, which is great because I love both movies very much. I think this is one my favorite series now. I am so hyped for the next seasons.

I Like that they show us again that Animation isn’t only for kids, it’s a Medium we should take seriously. Very Adult Show. This what I call a peak DreamWorks Show!

[norabrice1701]

Coincidence - Ch. 4

Dr. Alan Grant x Predoctoral Student Fem!Reader

Series Main List

Ch. 4 Warnings: Explicit language; inappropriate crush; minor Alan Grant/Ellie Sattler references; panic attacks; astraphobia; dinosaur PTSD

A strange dinosaur fever grips campus. Campus security sets up booths outside the Earth Sciences building. The building hallways teem with curiosity seekers, each hoping to catch a glimpse of the newest celebrity professors on campus, each hoping to ask the same resounding questions repeated in the newspapers. 

You can’t deny that you don’t have questions of your own, but each day that you watch Dr. Grant and Dr. Sattler move through their workplace like ants under a microscope breaks your heart. They walk crowded halls with heads ducked, blatantly ignoring every inquiry shouted at them or the excited whispers that follow them. 

You can’t imagine the pressure or strain of the constant bombardment. And in hindsight, perhaps that’s exactly why Dr. Sattler dropped her big news bomb last week. Effective immediately, she took a position in Washington, D.C. and wouldn’t be staying to finish the semester. It’s still odd to see her empty office at the end of the hallway and the blinds shuttered in her laboratory. Her departure also lands another blow to the department as they still reel from InGen’s funding withdrawal and struggle to lure replacement donors.

It makes your heart ache for the future of the university that you love so much, for the field of study that you’re so passionate about. Not to mention how concerned you are for Dr. Grant. It should be silly – you should stop being so silly. He’s a grown man and certainly capable of running his own life, and you’ve always known him to be dedicated to his work… but even this seems borderline obsessive.

No matter how late you leave or how early you arrive, he’s always there. Either seated at his desk – engrossed in grading or reading – or working in his lab – perusing test results or handling specimens for analysis. He sounds beyond exhausted – he looks it, too - but he continues to push through all his lectures and office hours as if stopping for a breath would allow the weight of the world to catch up with him.

“And having found no conclusive result,” Dr. Grant continues from the podium at the front of the lecture hall. “We then move to analyzing the teeth, for – as they say – where a door closes, try to open a window.” His mouth curls with vague amusement at his attempted joke. 

It does little to brighten his careworn appearance, and concern constricts your chest as you shuffle against the lecture hall seat, blending in with the sea of students. It’s rare for him to give these evening seminars - usually, they’re only attended by undergrads who are promised extra credit by their advisors if they attend. But tonight, it’s a packed house. 

Dr. Grant’s face falls as he glances up at the screen to advance the slide. A zoomed-in photo of sharp, jagged teeth resting against a blue background and arranged from shortest to longest appears on the large screen. You haven’t seen this particular photo before and your own interest piques as he turns back around. Searching his eyes and the lines of his face for that shared, bright passion, your disappointment grows to find none. 

His gaze roams over the sea of faces, and you wonder if he can see you among the crowd. “By analyzing the chemistry of the teeth, we can learn much about the animal’s diet and water sources. Now, these specimens,” he continues, pointing up at the image. “Are a representative sample that point towards an emerging pattern in raptors. The smallest teeth and the largest teeth don’t have the same average carbon isotope values, which tells us that they ate different foods at different stages of their lifespan.”

A chair squeaks as a student shifts their weight, and Dr. Grant’s mouth tightens to a flat line. “Despite what we know about the coordinated attack patterns and pack-hunting nature of the adult raptors, this suggests that juvenile raptors might have had a relationship with their elders that is more akin to modern day reptiles – which don’t take care of their young in the way that pack animals do.”

You glance around at the assembled students in the large hall, taking in mostly glossy-eyed stares dotted with a few faces of rapt interest. It further sours your mood that hardly anyone here appears to be paying him any attention; but in their defense, this isn’t the most dynamic, inspirational lecture that you’ve seen from your mentor. 

A tentative hand raises in the front row, and Dr. Grant nods towards the student in question. “So, if – behaviorally – raptors were closer to crocodiles or Komodo dragons or something – wouldn’t the young raptors have had to shelter away from the dangerous adults until they were mature enough?”

The corner of Dr. Grant’s mouth lifts for the briefest second. “Well, if they were anything like Komodo dragons, then the young could actually have been at risk of being eaten by their own parents, but there are no conjectures on that theory for raptors at this time. Physiologically, as you all know, we see more relation between dinosaurs and modern day birds than reptiles, yet this does not mean they were completely without reptilian behavior.” He gestures back at the screen. “Analysis of the raptor teeth indicates two different diets as they age, which presents an interesting deviation from pack behavior in that adults did not feed the young.”

“Why didn’t you just ask them when you were on that island?” A lone voice shouts out of the crowd, and the room falls deafeningly silent. 

Your heart stops as your eyes widen. Dr. Grant freezes at the front of the room, his face hardening with displeasure. “That’s entirely uncalled for.” He admonishes, before turning back and motioning up at the screen. “Now, if we examine the curvature -” 

“But you were there, right?” The same voice calls out. “You haven’t actually denied it, you know.” 

The line of Dr. Grant’s shoulders stiffens with visible tension, and you swear that you could hear a pin drop. 

“He’s right.” Another emboldened voice speaks up. “Even your university bullshit machine hasn’t actually denied that you weren’t on that island. So, there must be some truth to it - otherwise, you’d just come out and say that you weren’t there.” 

Excited murmurs and whispers grow in the lecture hall, and you debate if you should say something. But just what the hell would you actually say? 

“So, come on, Dr. Grant,” the first voice calls out again. “Tell us - what are dinosaurs like in person?” 

Dr. Grant’s shoulders sag with the weight of frustrated defeat and his eyes blaze with fury as he scans the lecture hall crowd. “That’s quite enough from all of you.” A sharp, acidic grin twists his face. “If that’s the reason that you’re all here tonight, then I guess no one really needs the extra credit opportunity.” His mouth falls to a flat line, his voice tight. “The lecture is over. Thank you for attending, and now, please - see yourselves out. All of you.” 

A wave of groans and protests rise around you as students begrudgingly stand to their feet. Slowly, they start to file out, and mercifully, none of them pester Dr. Grant with any lingering questions. He turns his back on the disassembling crowd, staring up at the large screen. Standing from your seat, you pause as the room empties out to take in the prominent teeth still on display. Even fossilized, they’re a formidable site to behold - a true testament to the creature’s lethal capabilities. 

You start towards the front of the empty room on quiet steps - at least until your shoe scuffs audibly against the linoleum. Dr. Grant turns around with wide-alert eyes, freezing for the space of a breath before his face relaxes with relief and recognition. A long exhale escapes him as he shakes his head and the tension starts draining from his shoulders. Everything about his reaction stirs your concern as you carefully approach. “Sorry, Prof. Didn’t mean to startle you.” You say, summoning a small smile. “If there was a door, I might have knocked…”

A blush settles high on his cheeks and he gives a brusque shake of his head. “No, it’s….”  he pauses to draw a breath. “My fault for being lost in thought.”

It looks like far more than that. You didn’t just startle him – you frightened him. And that just doesn’t seem like him. 

The air crackled with electricity and ozone as the wind speed increased. Thick, dark clouds continued to fill the horizon, blowing in over the surrounding buttes almost without warning. You’d heard more seasoned team members talk about legendary summer storms, but you had yet to see one for yourself, at least… until now.

Your hair whipped in your face as you helped secure the main tent flaps. Others scurried around you to secure loose objects, seal up containers, and protect the exposed dig site. Just in the gloomy distance, you could see the tall figure of Dr. Grant working to secure tarps over the latest skeleton.

“Come on, tie it off!” Emily called out over the din of anxious voices and rushing people, jarring you back to the task at hand. “Nice and tight so the wind doesn’t get it!”

“Yeah,” you called back, securing the canvas tie before moving onto the next. “Got it!” Reaching up, you undid the rolled-up flap and let it unfurl down to the dirt before crouching down to tie it off. The rain hadn’t started falling yet, but the clouds loomed ever closer, and a low peal of thunder ratcheted your heart rate higher. You hoped that you could make it back to your trailer before the rain started – let alone if it turned into a full-blown hailstorm.

Now was not the time to remember Jeremy’s campfire tale about his hail-induced bruises and abrasions as you reached for the next tent flap.

A bright flash of lightning illuminated the site, followed by a sharp crack of thunder. The ground shook underfoot as your anxious fingers secured the last tie.

“That’s good enough,” Emily shouted as everyone started running for their trailers. “It’s too close – we gotta get under cover!” She turned without waiting for you, darting towards her trailer in the opposite direction of yours. Fat raindrops fell to the dirt as another lightning bolt disoriented you and thunder deafened you. The curtain of rain thickened around you, hammering the landscape as thunder made the ground shake, and your uncontrollable panic rose.

Gasping for breath, you tore at one of the tent flaps and forced your way inside. The pounding rain against the canvas echoed too loudly and the brilliant lightning overwhelmed you. You slapped your hands over your ears, slamming your eyes shut as unwanted memories overtook you.

Suddenly, you were 10 years old again back at Girl Scout camp with only a small, flimsy, nylon tent between you and the raging storm. Lighting blinded you through the translucent fabric and the thunder rattled in your bones as you screamed for one of the leaders, for someone, for anyone. But no one came… no matter how much you pleaded and wailed…

“Come on!” A sudden voice jarred you out of the memory, and you opened your eyes with wide shock. Water poured off the brim of Dr. Grant’s ubiquitous hat and nearly soaked through his clothes. His eyes were bright with alert concern as he rushed over to you. “Come on,” he repeated over the driving rain before saying your name. “You can’t stay here! Need a solid roof in case of hail.”

Your heart lodged in your throat – and yes, you understood, but every muscle was too paralyzed to move. You heaved for breath, wincing from another brilliant lightning bolt and thunderclap as unwanted tears streamed down your face.

“Alright, it’s alright.” He said again, drawing up to your side. “We’ll go together.” A strong arm wrapped around your upper back and his fingers tightened around your bicep with guiding pressure. “Here we go. Come on.”

Tucked against his side, he urged you forward and out into the driving storm. Your boots stomped through growing puddles and rain soaked your clothes as you numbly ran with him. The strobing lighting burned your eyes but through the grey rain, your trailer drew ever closer. He threw the door open, ushering you inside first before stepping up behind you.

If anything, the rain pounded louder against the exterior of your trailer, but maybe the thunder was at least a little muffled… somewhat. Dishes rattled on the counter as another thunderclap ripped through the air, making you jump.

“Are you alright?” He questioned over the hammering rain, and you glanced over to see him still standing on the trailer entryway’s small strip of linoleum as water puddled around him. By contrast, you stood on the worn-out carpet, not even caring how wet you were. His gaze locked to yours with an encouraging, reassuring edge as he nodded towards you. “You’re going to be alright, yes?”

Slowly, you nodded and tried to find your voice. “Y-yes… I think so, I… yes.” You said swallowing down another rising wave of panic. “Thank you.”

He didn’t look convinced but offered a slow nod before turning to glance out the small window of your trailer door. Just as he reached for the handle, the hammering rain turned to the hard impact of solid objects – at first you’d swear they were rocks, but it could only be –

“Dammit…” He breathed with a sigh as he shook his head. “Well, at least I’m glad that I didn’t make a run for it…”

The hailstorm raised to a fever pitch outside your trailer, and your throat went dry as your mind spun with… too many things. Another crack of thunder sliced through the trailer, making you wince and wrap your arms around your torso as you found your voice. “I-I’m sorry that you didn’t make it… before the hail…”

All of a sudden, you realized that your trailer roommate wasn’t here. Did she shelter somewhere else in the frenzied rush for cover? Perhaps that would make it easier to bury your head under your pillow until the storm passes… at least you wouldn’t see the lightning.

A trembling breath shook your frame as you sniffled, feeling more tears sting the corners of your eyes. Embarrassed heat rose in your cheeks as you wiped away fallen tears, hoping that he wouldn’t see – but too late. You suddenly realized that he turned back around, and your gaze met his. Curious concern filled his eyes as he regarded you beneath his dripping hat while the storm continued to rage.

You could only imagine how pathetically childlike you must look – dripping wet and crying – and your shame burned hotter. That’s the last thing you wanted for him to think about you. With a hard sniffle, you blinked away from him, scanning around the untidy trailer. “D-do you want a towel?... or something?” You took a couple of shaky steps, not wanting to elaborate on ‘something’.

“No, it’s alright.” He said softly behind you. “With any luck, the hail won’t last too much longer, then I can run for it.”

You nodded, not trusting your voice as you pulled your own dripping hat off your head. It fell to the counter with a wet plop before another bolt of lightning and thunder made you flinch uneasily.

“It’s okay, you know.” His voice came again, gentle despite the pounding hail outside. “Whatever it is that you don’t like about storms… it’s okay.”

Your heart clenched and all you wanted to do was melt. You wanted the security denied you during that horrific storm of your youth – you’ve never liked storms since. But this… “This has never happened to me before.” You heard yourself say with a thready whisper. “At least, not since that storm as a kid… but I haven’t been outside since….” You winced as you realize how that sounded given that this is your second summer out here with his team. “At least… not for a storm like this.”

“We were lucky last summer,” he agreed. “Storms out here are infrequent, but they blow up without warning more often than not. But, fortunately, this one… isn’t too bad.” A curiously breezy note sounded on his voice, drawing your attention back. 

He still stood in the entryway of the trailer, water-logged and trying to summon a reassuring smile even though his discomfort with the situation showed on his face. All at once you realized the optics of the situation, and… goodness. If anyone witnessed the two of you disappearing in here together – alone – then, that was exactly how nasty, damaging rumors started. Appreciation warmed your chest for his thoughtfulness to stay in full view of the window, where anyone who might be peeping across the site could clearly glimpse the green plaid of his shirt that hasn’t moved since the door closed. 

Has he had to contend with similar accusations before? It did seem like a scandalous risk to put professors and students out in the field, isolated among the buttes and the sand for months at a time – but it did help that he and Dr. Sattler were together. The veritable dig site mom and dad, and… something about that thought soured your stomach.

The last thing you wanted was his pity.

“Don’t let it get you down.” He said over a booming clap of thunder. “We all have something that keeps us up at night, but don’t let this be it.” He nodded over at you, encouragingly. “Even after the storm passes, take the afternoon or the rest of the night - whatever you need. But you’re one of the best I’ve got, and I’ll need you back out there tomorrow morning, alright? We’ve got our work cut out for us on that sediment layer.” 

You nodded slowly as a smile cracked your face, wanting to rush over and give him a big hug. “I’ll be there. But… what if someone says something tonight…?” 

“Well…” He trailed off, visibly casting for a thought before he found it, and a seldom-glimpsed mischievous smirk lifted the corner of his mouth. “I’ll just tell them that you slipped on the mud and tweaked your ankle, but with a little rest, it should be better by morning.” His eyes bored through you with comforting reassurance. “No one will be none the wiser.” 

The hammering on your trailer exterior faded to the droning deluge of heavy rainfall. He turned to glance out the window, nodding with satisfaction as no more white hailstones fell from the sky. Again, he turned back to you, nodding gently as he reached for the doorknob. “Get some rest, and I’ll see you in the morning.” 

“Thank you.” The urge to call him Alan crawled up your throat but you swallowed it down before you could do something so foolish. 

“Actually, I don’t know what’s worse.” His voice jars you from the onslaught of memory, and you focus to watch him raise his arm as he switches off the projector via remote. “Letting you startle me so bad, or knowing that you were in the audience just now…” 

You nod, solemnly. “That was actually quite bad. Those students should have known better.” Your mouth curves with a supportive smile. “Honestly, you should have pressed for their names and reported them to the dean.” 

A wave of exhaustion washes over him and the fluorescent light catches in the dark circles under his eyes, even as the corner of his mouth lifts with vague amusement. “And punish them for the one thing that should drive their academic pursuits? After all, without curiosity, none of us would be at this university.” 

“There’s curiosity, sure,” you counter gently. “But there’s also rudeness. And that, just now, was rude. You don’t deserve to be disrespected like that - ever.” Your cheeks flush without your permission. “No one in your position does.” 

He fixes you with a carefully inscrutable look. Slowly, the corners of his mouth lift to a polite, closed-mouth smile. “Well, it’s hardly the first time at least one student hasn’t been interested in what I’m talking about.”

Something about the thought - and his whole demeanor - strikes you as sad, and you long to reach out to him. To show him that you care about… well, about him. Not just as the celebrity maybe-or-maybe-not dinosaur man, but the man from hot, dusty dig sites and countless advisory meetings in his office.

“I don’t know if you remember…” you start before pausing to draw a breath and summon your courage. “But you told me once that we all have something that keeps us up at night. And with everything that’s been going on since the dig got canceled… well, I hope that you’re not letting it all keep you up at night.” 

His face softens as the rush of his own memory takes over, eyes narrowing as if just seeing you for the first time. An almost shy smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth before he glances down, shaking his head as if he can’t quite believe it. “This… admittedly, this isn’t quite the same circumstance as that.” 

“Maybe not.” You counter gently as your heart sticks in your throat. “But whatever you are going through, I hope that you do have someone who… I don’t know - that you can let go with. Because it won’t do any of us any good if our favorite professor runs himself into the ground.” A smile warms your face as his gaze reconnects with yours. “So take a dose of your own advice, and whatever’s keeping you up at night, don’t let it get you down.” 

His mouth curls with a modest, contrite edge as he dips his head. “Thank you, that…” His words dissolve in a bone-weary sigh before he looks back up at you with piercing honesty. “Thank you. These last several months have been… more difficult than expected.” He breaks off, as if suddenly realizing what he said. “I’m sorry, that… you’re my student and I shouldn’t…” 

“Technically, yeah, I am - but I’m just a lowly predoc not submitting any assignments to you.” 

“There’s nothing lowly about you, and there never has been.” He pauses as if to reconsider the thought. “Maybe except for that hat you brought to your very first dig, but we got you sorted out in short order.” 

Your smile warms at the fond memory. “Though, speaking of - I’m sorry that your hat got lost over the summer.” You say, remembering the replacement he wore in the weeks after his mysterious trip. “It looked like you and that hat had seen plenty of adventures together.” 

“Yes, well,” he looks back down, turning slightly to set the projector remote on the podium. “It was just a hat. There are far more precious things to lose in the grand scheme of things.” 

You nod in gentle agreement. “Then, here’s hoping that we can get back out there and get back to digging before anything else is lost.” 

His face brightens with a hint of the content passion that you’ve only ever seen from him when dirt smudges his cheeks and his eyes are alive with the thrill of discovery. You hope the thought is enough to temporarily chase away whatever demons haunt him, and you suddenly realize how close you stand to him. 

Embarrassed heat rises in your cheeks as you take a step back with an awkward smile. “Well, I should probably get back to the lab,” you say, darting a quick glance towards the open classroom door. “But thanks for letting me crash your lecture - I hope that this never happens to you again.” 

His expression draws in as he, too, darts his gaze towards the door, and your heart sinks to your feet. Have you just overplayed your hand? Have you said too much? Biting your lip to fend off a stab of anxious regret, you nod farewell in the silence and turn towards the door. An uneasy sigh passes your lips, and fuck, you hope that you haven’t made things awkward beyond repair. 

Just as you reach the doorjamb, he calls out your name. On baited breath, you turn back around with wide, hopeful eyes. He regards you with a small, tender smile full of appreciation. “Thank you again,” he says gently. “Truly.” 

Series Main List

[finniestoncrane]

I'm here for a blind date I'm genderfluid (afab if you're wondering. I apparently give off Boy Vibes™)

I love dinosaurs (some of my favorites include Archaeopteryx, Australovenator, and Baryonyx, Minmi, Oviraptor, and Yi qi) comic books (mostly Suicide Squad but you already know that by now), and I'm trying to get into cars because I want to be an automechanic, since my grades weren't good enough for paleontology and I suck at art. College wasn't right for me and being an automechanic is probably like... A trade school thing, right? I also like Transformers. I got a mullet at one point, but it grew out a bit lol. I'm kinda clumsy, which is pretty evident since my glasses keep breaking lol. Not like I can afford new ones so I guess I'm using duck tape and super glue to keep the frames in... 2 pieces I guess. I guess it's just duck tape keeping the ear things on. I really got into old monster movies in Middle School because of a book called the encyclopedia of monsters. From like... The really old ones like The Blob That Ate Everything to the ones from to the slightly more recent ones but they're still decades old, like the Alien Franchise. Not too big of a fan of regular (?) horror movies. Technically I haven't seen most of the alien movies, but I really liked Alien VS Predator so I think that counts enough. I know I've already told you this but I fell down a YouTube rabbit hole of wilderness survival and eventually wound up finding a channel about boomerangs and the occasional Australian wildlife video (there's one titled Kangaroo Maggots. He finds a kangaroo corpse at the side of the road and maggots are inside of it. Really fucking gross. 0/10. Do not recommend if you hate maggots. Don't know why I watched that specific video honestly, but all the rest are good). Which lead me to another channel about Australian animals. I'm American and idk how tf I got from how to cook a cactus to watching a video on dingoes. I play a lot of simulator games. Like... If you look at my steam library it's like... 99% simulator games, the Batman: Arkham Series, and then a hunting game for some reason. And even then I think that's a hunting simulator come to think about it. Don't know why I like Simulator Games, I just do. Wait... Does the Arkham series count as simulator games? Like... Are they technically Batman simulators. I love reptiles and rats, but I fucking hate spiders. Need an Australian Man™ to help me if a spider is near lol. You know wow I'm talking about here I tend to get overexcited when myself or others are talking about stuff I'm interested in. I go on long tangents about stuff I like. I'm kind of a nerd when it comes to my semi-niche interests. I do enjoy listening to people go on their own tangents about things they like too though.

It's also quite apparent I have a thing for weird and/or disgusting fictional men ( my taste in women is better I swear. (Will fall for any tall woman who even looks in my direction. Which isn't saying much cuz I'm 4'10¾") )

💜 blind date 💜 the kitchen is now closed! 🔞minors dni🔞 • masterlist • kofi link • tag: finnie1500 (to follow or to block) a/n: hi please come in and distract this idiot, quickly, quicker, HURRY 💚

"Hi, uh-huh, welcome to the Vill-Inn. Can I just... sit you down as quickly as possible? If your date asks any of us if we want to see his big, curvy weapon one more time, we are going to escort him from the premises. Good luck!"

The moment you sit down at your table, after being rushed over by the waitstaff, you're met with a wide and mischievous grin, a signature smile from a man you recognise.

"I go by many names. Captain Boomerang, George, Digger. But you can call me daddy, if you like."

You screw your face up a bit, trying to pretend like that line didn't get you, and he's quick to try and win you over.

"I'm joking, love! Lighten up, it's a blind date, it's supposed to be fun!"

At least he's quick to... not apologise for his jokes, but to try and recover from them. And he's also surprisingly interested in you, and in getting to know you. Although, you fear it's just so he can make more risque jokes.

"Ah, mechanics. So... you're good with your hands then? You wear one of them little overall things? With anything underneath?"

The loud laugh he lets out at the end of his remarks are so endearing though, they make his lewd comments almost charming. Which you're unsurprised by, given your specific taste in men. He's perfectly strange and definitely a little bit gross, just how you like them.

He comments on your glasses, mentioning that you seem like someone who is a creative problem solver. A comment that feels like a proper compliment, not just a segue into another flirtatious remark. And it feels like he's dialing down on that the more he gets to know you. he talks to you about horror films for twenty minutes without saying anything lewd or crude. It's almost like it's a defense mechanism he uses to keep a distance, to maintain his facade.

In fact, he barely says anything at all when you're telling him about your preference for classic horror, and what video games you're interested in. Almost like he's enjoying learning about you. Almost like he can forego his usual ridiculously brazen behaviour around you. And you're more than happy to return the favour when he gets excited about boomerangs. Your fault for mentioning them.

"Yeah, you can learn a lot from a video online about surviving in the outback, but if you're ever looking for private tutoring, I'm your man."

He winks with this statement, but you can tell there's sincerity behind the offer. The fact that you're willing to listen politely, and that you seem interested in him when he's talking about subjects that are so personal to him, makes him feel very at home around you. And you're warming up to him, to the point where you can make some jokes too. I mean, no harm in joking about inviting him round to your place to get rid of some scary spiders, since he's Australian Outback Extroardinaire.

"Listen, for you, I can let myself be more of a hero than anti-hero for a change. Show me the little buggers and I'll have your house spider free in no time."

He winks again, and you're so fond of it that you can't help but imagine a life of being winked at across tables. A strange, happily ever after.

[aberooski]

Random yet brilliant GX/Avatar au thoughts I had after rewatching ATLA and watching LOK for the first time:

Idk if I'll ever actually write this but if I did I'd use the Japanese names because obviously they'd fit in better here but for the purposes of my random bullshit and by being my default names I'm still using the dub names in my notes lol

___

- Obviously Jaden's the Avatar lol. Avatar Jaden of the Fire Nation (since he's a big fan of red and all 🤭)

- Fire Prince Chazz, Lightningbender ⚡⚡⚡

- Dragons are a thing so Light and Darkness Dragon anyone?? 👀👀

- Atticus is a Waterbender, but Nightshroud is a Bloodbender 👻

- Atty and Lex are prince and princess of the Northern Water Tribe

- Alexis is also a Waterbender but since in the North it's forbidden for women to learn Waterbending except for healing purposes (at least it is in ATLA, clearly that's not the case anymore in LOK since y'know, Eska. But this is my brain I can use whatever lore I want aksksk), Atticus taught her how to Waterbend himself in secret 🤫

- Zane and Syrus are mixed nations like Mako and Bolin, Zane is a Metalbender but Sy is a Waterbender

- Syrus specializes in healing, not combat. I imagine Zane treats him basically like he's a helpless non-bender as a result. But in that mean basically telling him he's useless way that he would, not in a protective brother kind of way. He understands it's a very valuable skill but really wished his brother could fight and fend for himself so he didn't have to be protected all the time.

- Very high concentration of Earth Kingdom squad members lol

- Bastion gives me Earth Kingdom vibes but also I feel like he would be a Waterbender because Water Dragon 🤔 can't decide 🤔

- Jim's Earth Kingdom but a non-bender. I imagine in the equivalent to the accident that lost him his eye as a kid he just went blind. Shirley is his seeing eye Crocogator 🐊 (y'know, since basically all the animals are hybrids 🤭 i know Catgators and Crococats exist but this is funnier and I can make jokes about her totally just being a normal Croc that Jim's passing off as a cross between a Catgator and a Crococat 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭)

- Jim's a mega badass swordsman though even with the blindness. Wouldn't be surprised if he had some Earthbending power lying dormant inside him, like a fossil waiting to be unearthed (no pun intended 🤭), but he's more than content to be a regular human, he doesn't need bending to enjoy his life.

- Hassleberry's 100% an Earthbender. Dude can probably even Lavabend but that's a big maybe. (I mean volcanoes helped kill the dinosaurs and all too so)

- My guy Crowler teaches at the University of Ba Sing Se and if he's a bender he's probably a Metalbender (cuz y'know, Ancient Gears. I am taking their decks somewhat into account here 🤭), probably a member of the White Lotus

- Sheppard's got that Airbending Master status babyyyy, also the current Grand Lotus, just chilling with his non-bending wife Dorothy 😌

- Slade vs. Chazz in a fucking Agni Kai, a la episode 35 !! (🤜🔥 🔥⚡🤛)

- Jaden has a Firebending block similar to Zuko at some point, but because his fire comes from his passion, not hate. In his emo era his passion is gone and he has to find it again and reignite his inner fire!

- Jesse's got those Earth Kingdom green eyes, probably from the Earth Kingdom, but I think he has some Air Nomad heritage in there. He's very connected to his spirituality and the spirit world. Kinda gives me Jinora vibes in that area, he definitely is a very spirit heavy guy. Crystal Beasts, am I right?

- Jesse could've been the Avatar if the cycle wasn't up to fire at the time. (Literally forget any and all timelines none of that matters this isn't a crossover we're talking about. Full au so continuity be damned! All that matters is that the Avatar cycle is now at fire 🔥)

- Axel's Fire Nation I mean c'mon his whole thing is fire aksksk, strong Firebender and probably in the Fire Nation Army too somewhere. A good man though, a very honorable and just guy, not a shitty shitty bad Firebender as is the general consensus in the world about Firebenders most of the time it seems.

- Aster also gives me Water Tribe vibes but like only kinda, he's hard to nail down element wise...... 🤔 he's got the blue eyes so I'm gonna say Water Tribe atm we'll see if my brain agrees with that later. Whether North or South idk, I'm still on the fence about him being a Waterbender but water is my favorite so not gonna complain about making more Waterbenders..... 🤔

- His dad was a non-bender and was 100% killed by a Firebender though. That would cause issues with him and Jaden since Jaden is a Firebender Avatar. Oof there you go, Aster's whole like fucking "you can't hide from destiny" batman era bullshit?? He's going around beating up Firebenders because he doesn't know who exactly killed his father ooooooooo 👀👀👀 (I guess kinda like Katara I guess in a way but also not really I mean she saw the guy who did it, not that she knew exactly who he was without Zuko's help figuring that out but shhhhh remember none of that's important right now 🤫)

- Dark Spirit Yubel ???? 👀👀👀👀👀

- DARK AVATAR SUPREME KING PAST LIFE !?!?!?

- Winged Kuriboh spirit guide 👀👀👀

- oof Adrian as a bad guy Airbender now that's a yikes idea. Sorry Air Nomads, somebody's not a good noodle.

- Chumley once again representing the Earth Kingdom

- Bro not sure about Banner..... so many options.....

- Earth King Kagemaru (bro those guys are almost always shady bitches whether it's the Earth monarch or the Dai Li bro we can NEVER trust the Dai Li)

- y'all Banner is so Earth Kingdom but he's also giving me Fire Nation, like aesthetically and vibes wise he could be either. But also because of his like alchemy background and straight up making a homunculous for himself and shit like that he's also giving me secret Bloodbender I'm literally on so many fences with this guy I can't decide 😭

- Also totally in touch with some spirits and stuff, totally dies and passes into the spirit world to continue existing there like Iroh did so Jaden can talk to him like the ghost we all know and love like another sort of spirit guide and Pharaoh can follow Jaden and crew around afterwords aksksk

- Stormshipping and Spiritshipping all over the damn place! It's me. You knew that was going to be a thing here.

___

That's all I got at the moment. Like I said I don't know if I'd ever actually write this, I know I have way too much on my plate right now to even think about this in a more on the table way than this but my brain won't stop so I have to indulge aksksk

Let me know y'alls thoughts if you got any I'm just messing around here really so lord knows 🤭 anyway if I come up with anything else maybe I'll add it later but for now holy shit guys isn't my mind a wild and crazy place??? 😜😂😅

[rainiishowers]

Obey Me Incorrect Quotes

Some ships ones here and there, mostly MC ones --- Belphegor: Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle, and explode into bats to get out of all social situations. - Diavolo: Knock, knock! Barbatos, sighing: Who's there? Diavolo: Boo! Barbatos: Boo who? Diavolo: Why are you crying? Barbatos: I'm not crying. Diavolo: Hello not crying, I'm Diavolo :D -

Lucifer: Someone care to explain why we have 6 dogs in our apartment? Mammon: They're golden retrievers. They retrieve gold. I did this for us. - Lucifer: Lord Diavolo, no Diavolo: Lord Diavolo, yes - Mammon: The best part of an oreo is the cookie part, not the frosting. Deal with it. Barbatos: Darkness without light is an abyss. Light without darkness is blinding. You cannot have a coin with one side. Belphegor: YO SOCRATES! IT'S A FUCKING COOKIE! - Asmodeus: *is hugging MC* Leviathan: Hey! It's my turn to hug MC!! *Grabs them* Mammon: *kicking down the door* What do you mean, "yOuR tUrN"? We agreed now it’s my time slot! Asmodeus: No, It's still my turn! MC: *suffocating* Guys, I love you, but just because I'm the human doesn't mean you can be hugging me constantly! Asmodeus: But we need the moral support! Mammon: And you're a human! Which is cute! Leviathan: If I don't hug you right now I think the depression will kick in and my body will stop functioning. - Diavolo: I wasn’t that drunk. Barbatos: You colored my face with a highlighter because you said I was important. Diavolo: BECAUSE YOU ARE! - MC: So you like cats? Satan: I love them! MC: *tries to impress him by slowly pushing a glass off the table* - Luke, trying his first ever cup of coffee: I am ENERGY! Lucifer, an avid coffee drinker, on his twelfth cup of the day: Someone slap me awake or I am literally going to fall into a coma in ten seconds. - MC: Dinosaurs aren't extinct. I mean, Lucifer is walking in this room. Belphegor: *wheeze* - Mammon: What can therapy do for me that screaming in my car for 30 minutes can’t? (Someone get this man therapy, get them all some therapy) - Lucifer: New challenge! Don't say stupid shit for 24 hours! - Leviathan: How are you still alive?! MC: Honestly, I’m just as surprised as you are. - Simeon: What is the one thing I told you not to do? Solomon: Burn the house down. Simeon: And what did you do? Solomon: I made dinner! Simeon: Solomon: Simeon: Solomon: And burnt the house down. - Satan: Ha! Don't you know the trappers trap can trap the trapper? Satan: Satan: I must be losing it, I'm quoting Lucifer. - MC: Just so everyone knows, don't ever try to climb a tree at night carrying a strobe light, owls DON'T like it. Simeon: ...What happened? MC: I made a VERY bad mistake. - Diavolo: *reading a recipe* Beat three eggs?  MC: It means like in, hand-to-hand combat.  Diavolo, playing along: Ohhhhh Barbatos, exasperated: Both of you get out of this kitchen.  - Mammon: I'm naturally funny because my life is a joke. Mammon: *Puts on sunglasses and does finger guns* - MC: I’m going to hell. Solomon: Probably. MC: I'll pick you up? Solomon, nodding: Carpool. - *When D.D.D’s were first made in the Devildom* Diavolo,looking at a dead D.D.D: How do we bring this thing back to life? Magic? Live sacrifice? - MC: Fight me! Mammon, standing behind them in demon form: *mouths* Do not. - Mammon: We’re getting married, bitches! MC: And we're about to make it everybody else's problem. - Lucifer I hardly slept last night Satan: When you can’t sleep, it means someone is thinking about you. Someone who loves you, surprisingly Lucifer: Who would be thinking about me at 3 a.m.? Diavolo: *gay panic* - Luke: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed. Asmodeus:  Asmodeus: I'm gonna tell him. Simeon: Don't you dare. Asmodeus: What? It's not like I'm telling them about secret relationship, or anything- Luke: Your secret what? Simeon: Nothing! - MC: Wait, what just happened? Mammon: I don’t know. I think Lucifer’s not used to feeling emotions. Maybe it was too much for them. Lucifer, far away: Shut up! -

[wellwornwornwell]

You have no taste. How tasteful of you.

Irony is Eden. Warm lagoons, lush with overgrown mangroves of awkward humor, broken up by pristine, uninhabited beaches of detachment. It’s always Island Time. There are dark, troubling clouds in the distance, but they never reach the shoreline. You’re safe. No one *really* knows about this place but you. Kind of like Tulum in 2010.

But much like Tulum in 2010, you need everyone to know you’ve been here. That the waitstaff know your name. That they recognize you for your accomplishments and readily enable your insistence on avoiding reality. They’re always the first to compliment your Minions shirt.

Wait, what the fuck are you wearing? Where does one even purchase blobby red boots so cartoonish they make Mickey Mouse blush? What is going on?

I’ll be the first to admit I am not cool. I’m an upper-middle-class, white, 30-something, born out of suburban comfort and forever bestowed with unearned confidence. I look like a rejected extra from a J. Crew catalog (the one where no one is convincing). My biggest life accomplishment is pretending sending emails constitutes work, for which I make an inordinate amount of money. I get it: I’m the enemy. Oftentimes my own.

But I will be damned if I ever understand why it’s cool to look like an asshole.

People want to make a statement. People want to buy things. People don’t want you to know they’re seriously lost. Enter: Irony.

No one needs to know how deeply self-conscious you are. The examined life is for pussies and the French. Let them have it. You have blind consumerism and an unflinching need to stand out. You’re about to go viral. “Rise and grind,” or so I’m told.

Of course, this is all just a terribly tragic state of affairs. As someone who LOVES avoiding my problems, I can understand the opioidic appeal of irony. It’s just simpler. And snark has become the not-smiling face on the internet’s hard currency. It feels good to keep people at arm’s length and the joke firmly inside. Golden brown. Texture like sun.

But this does not make a substitute for taste. You can’t just decide none of it matters while also insisting upon your elevated station in society. Nihilists make for shitty leaders. Pick a lane.

Look, I own multiple pairs of pastel pants that retail for more than $1,000 a throw. The realtor keeps showing me glass houses and I don’t know how much longer I can hide my pockets full of rocks. But at least there is some nuance in the traditional, tongue-in-cheek manner of dressing. Cheeky emblematic ties, garishly colored pants, not so subtle racism. There used to be principles to this stuff.

I guess this all resolves to an old man yelling at the clouds. The older you get, the closer you get to death – and not just physically but culturally as well. None of this is meant for me and my insistence on “knowing better” only further solidifies me as the first dinosaur to see the meteor. We’re all doomed.

What I’d ask, as you reach for your Raytheon Saudi Arabia embroidered polo shirt, is that you realize that hiding behind obnoxious clothing will not save you. It does not create the individuality you think it does. It is not formal enough to be respectful, not original enough to be endearing. You are simply a fleeting artifact of a hollow society too disgusted with itself to look into a mirror.

Please don’t confuse me for a capital-T Traditionalist or one of those RETVRN weirdos. Fuck those guys. But do know that one day, sometime soon, when you’re looking back at photos of yourself, you will be met with embarrassment. The kind of embarrassment that fuels resentment and questions existence. These are not bellbottoms, parachute pants, or even twinkishly skinny suits. This is late-stage capitalism so bald-faced that it doesn’t even bother to establish utility. You are being played. You are losing.

In quiet moments I envision a world where everyone cares about clothing, and yet no one gets mad about what people wear. Then I re-read this post and get sad. Sad enough to buy a Shirt That Goes Hard. We’re all doomed.

[danglovely]

Regrading Taskmaster: S02 E02 Pork is a sausage.

*Score changes noted in parenthesis.

Prize Task: Trendiest Item of clothing.

Richard brings in a t-shirt of the Osmonds but with his face edited over them. It's a clever joke, but a complete whiff on trendiness as the Mormon sing group gradually becomes less and less relevant over time.

Katherine brings in a pair of leggings with a unicorn fighting a robot dinosaur with a rainbow overhead. This actually isn't bad; the 80's aesthetic is pretty bullet proof and it exudes a level of non-sequitarian humor that can be pretty trendy.

Jon brings in a cardigan with a a black waist coat sewn in. He impresses Katherine with it, but outside of cardigans being a decently popular item of clothing, this isn't particularly impressive.

Joe brings in his best tie with his aunt (definitely a lie) and a small vintage car embroidered on it. It doesn't look terrible but he really needed to sell this with a better story.

Doc brings in bright red waterproof converse, or what he calls "wellies with laces." He tries to sell it by saying how ridiculous they are and that's what he finds trendy.

They all sort of whiff on the category to varying degrees. Richard's is the opposite of trendy and Katherine's is the best. The other three are largely dependent on taste.

Doc: 4 (-1) Joe: 2 (0) Jon: 3 (0) Katherine: 5 (+1) Richard: 1 (0)

VT 01: Eat me. Fastest wins.

Theoretically objective task but there is a ton of pedantry involved in how much of an egg one has to consume to "eat it." None of them eat the shell, but it's pretty collectively understood that it isn't included when you say you've consumed an egg.

Doc and Joe appear to completely consume their eggs. Katherine abstains after tasting raw egg and takes a DQ as a result The issue is that Jon and Richard both lose some of their egg to the table because they crack it into the egg-cup and it isn't big enough to hold the contents.

It's not an easy question because interpreting the task to mean consume any of the egg puts Katherine back in the game, but interpreting it to mean the entire egg DQ's Jon and Richard. Greg seems to take an intent-based approach (Jon and Richard didn't mean to lose part of their eggs and consumed as much as they possibly could) and the outcome feels just.

Doc: 4 (0) Joe: 2 (0) Jon: 3 (0) Katherine: DQ (0) Richard: 5 (0)

VT 02: Make the best music video for a nursery rhyme.

Doc's music video for Once I Caught a Fish Alive is so good that I occasionally go back and rewatch it, just because it jams. Jon's horror movie version of Three Blind Mice is a close second.

I'm not sure Katherine actually completed the task because one of the requirements of being a nursery rhyme is that it's traditional and she wrote an original song.

Richard's rendition of She'll Be Coming Round the Mountain while he's generally being mean to people is interesting, if a little confusing thematically. However, I'm actually going to give the nod to Joe, who I think achieved a level of terribleness that brought it back around to good again.

Doc: 5 (0) Joe: 3 (+2) Jon: 4 (-1) Katherine: DQ (-4) Richard: 2 (-1)

Studio Task: Using this camera, take a picture of an inanimate object that looks like you. Closest resemblance wins.

Most of them got pretty close and Richard did deserve top marks here because his is the only object that, if I saw it out in the wild, I would say "that looks like Richard Osman." Doc Brown looks a little more like Marvin Humes than Katherine does the woman on the Spanx box and somehow they both look more like their objects than Jon's 3D print of himself. Joe got two points for bringing in a toaster then dressing up like a toaster. Good bit, but unless he always dresses up like a toaster there's no resemblance.

Doc: 4 (+3) Joe: 1 (-1) Jon: 2 (-2) Katherine: 3 (0) Richard: 5 (0)

VT 03: Order the following pizza for the Taskmaster: Extra large vegetarian pizza with pepperoni and bacon, and without tomato and cheese. You may not use the following words: Extra, Large, Vegetarian, Pizza, Pepperoni, Bacon, Tomato, Cheese.

The task doesn't lay out the winning condition and all of them say one of the forbidden words at least once. They decide in studio that the best pizza delivered wins it. It isn't the fairest way to grade because they all were calling different pizza places and the task specifies that you just have to order the pizza, not receive it. As such, I'll rescore based on violations + the "bubbles" bonus point.

Doc: 2 (-1) Joe: 5 (0) Jon: 2 (-3) Katherine: 5 (+1) Richard: 5 (+4)

Live Task: Using these big chopsticks, get these potatoes into your basket. You must only hold the big chopsticks on the grips provided. The big chopsticks alone may touch the potatoes in turn. Whoever has the most potatoes in the basket after 100 seconds wins.

Richard breaks the rules right off the bat. Jon gets 11/10 potatoes which is great, and within the rules, because "these" could mean any of the potatoes on stage. Doc and Joe take zeroes because their baskets fall off the stage, but they should actually come in joint third unless the task required all 10 potatoes to go in the basket (which would DQ Katherine).

Doc: 3 (+3) Joe: 3 (+3) Jon: 5 (0) Katherine: 4 (0) Richard: DQ (0)

Final

Doc: 22 (+4) Joe: 16 (+3) Jon: 19 (-6) Katherine: 17 (-2) Richard: 18 (+3)

So it seems like Jon was heavily overscored in this episode mostly because the pizza task didn't penalize mistakes. Doc probably should have won the episode where he dropped the amazing nursery rap.

[jessource]

LYRIC SENTENCE STARTERS:  PEACH PRC.    — from the ep manic dream pixie.

KINDA FAMOUS.

“coffee black. receipts told me you like that.” “so i was thinking spring, silver wedding rings.” “and i've picked out all our baby names.” “ok, now obsessed.” “your name on my chest.” “you're kinda famous.” “don't wanna be friends.” “you're not a phase.” “i know you don't know me yet.” “my obsession.” “know you will. better, more than yourself.” “cctv, smile and wave.” “so take me up backstage.” “i know all the names of every song you played.” “one day you'll write about us too.” “i can be your muse when we say 'i do'.” “you're gonna love me if you know me.” “you're gonna love me soon enough.” “i'm your biggest fan.”

PERFECT FOR YOU.

“baby, i'm perfect for you.” “can we go outside for a walk?” “(name) told me you guys were hitting it off.” “she kissed me in the bathroom.” "oh, she said it's just for attention or making her jealous.” “you guessed it.” “i'm not a good friend but she doesn't know that.” “she's gonna hate me, but i want you so bad.” “i want you so bad.” “kiss me, i'm not scared.” “if she's gone, i swear.” “i'm done tryna play it fair.” “i don't care.” “touch me.” “i'm alone now.” “are you on your own?” “she might want you but i do too.” “if you only knew.” “you were in boots and a cowboy hat.” “(name) said you knew my music.” “next week you're playing for (name).” “now i can't betray her.” “even though the gods are crazy.” “even though the stars are blind.” “if you show me real love.” “i'm in your sweater.” “don't wanna upset her.” “but i can do what she can do so much better.”

F U GOODBYE.

“i know it's been a while since you've seen me.” “i heard you're doing well now with your comedy.” “i reminisce nostalgic bits of 90s hits.” “do you miss it, have you thought of it since?” “so if you still think of me i'd love to meet for coffee.” “if i could just see your face.” “i'd look into your eyes and say i hate your jokes and don't think you're funny. “i hope you choke.” “know that you were the worst 45 seconds i had in my life.” “i hope your conscience haunts you at night.” “fuck you and goodbye.” “a couple therapists are now familiar.” “and by the way, i caught up with your ex.” “we shared regrets and most of them were sex.” “so if you miss the old days i'd love to meet face to face.” “i'd sit down at your table and scream if i was able.” “i hate your jokes and don't think you're funny.” “thanks to you gentle hands still resemble demands.” “loving lips on my mouth feel like currency now.” “thanks to you i fear kind.” “now i can't spend the night.”

LOVED YOU BEFORE.

“i bet we were a couple bugs just slithering in the mud.” “happily in love doing bug stuff.” “i think i met you in a store in 1944.” “i probably wrote you letters while you went off to the war.” “nd we could've been two birds, now wouldn't that be so absurd.” “or maybe just lost lovers that keep getting rediscovered.” “think i loved you before back when we were dinosaurs.” “i wanna stay in love in this life and the next one.” “i think we've already met somewhere, another planet.” “i loved you before.” “i loved you in this life and the next one.” “maybe you left me on a trip, two pirates on a ship.” “counting all the gold as the boat tipped.” “could we have been there drinking wine in medieval times?” “laughing in a castle with our glasses intertwined.” “two complementary colours.” “the winter, the spring and summer.” “forever just lost lovers that keep getting rediscovered.” “if i'm the sun, then you're the moon.” “in this life and the nights too.” “if it's over soon then come back through.” “just to say, say i love you.”

FAVOURITE PERSON.

“i try not to compare a teenage love.” “i know that isn't far or close enough.” “but why can't i just shut up?” “i'm always going on about you when I'm drunk.” “and i see your name in every number plate.” "i tried to erase your face but you're there everyday.” “you're my favourite person.” “i have created a version that hurts less.” “i had to tell myself you're toxic.” “better off cause you're the problem.” “really i just couldn't take it being hated by my favourite person.” “my favourite person.” “picture vows at a stand in something blue.” “i try to fall but i can't cause they're not you.” “i hate that i'll never stop.” “we're not still home growing up.” “and i hear your tropes in all my stupid jokes.” “i'm starting to lose all hope of ever letting go.” “and if the world was ending i know i'd be spending my last day pretending we were fine.” “when we both grow old with families of our own.” “well we always go back in my mind.” “i tried to erase your face but you're there anyway.”

DEAR INNER CHILD.

“someone kissed my closing eyelids and i made it mean more that it did. “someone put a plate down a little too loud. “now I still flinch whenever i hear the sound. “i learned my mama was just trying her best. “and not that i owe her forgiveness but i'm sorry to that girl in a dress. “if you wanna wear pink, i'll wear it for you. “if you wanna dance, then i'll strap up my shoes. “if you wanna sing, then consider it sung. “i'm sorry that you had to grow up this young. “forget that love is earned 'cause it's always deserved. “i know you had to work just to show them your worth. “remember that a plate is nothing but a plate. “even if it breaks we can throw it away. “i learned that i was only trying my best. “i think i owe her a deep breath. “she was the strongest little girl in a dress. “i'll wear it for you. “i'll strap up my shoes. “you were the strongest little fighter that carried me here. “i know that you're tired from surviving in fear. “so lay down, close your eyes. “cause now i got us for the rest of our life. “if i wanna wear pink i'll wear it for me. “if i wanna dance then i'll lift up on my feet. “i just wanna sing at the top of my lungs. “thanks for being there growing up so young.

[spiritelectric3]

My Journey Through Homestuck Act 3 (pt. 1)

So, am I really back? Let's find out as I begin Act 3 and will finally stop having to say ____ or GG.

This entry will cover pages 002260 through 002841

-Nothing pains me more in analyzing this series than IMMEDIATELY having the urge to look up how every character is described before named. I will resist the urge.

-This is an interesting way to rope in the theoretical player. Also I'm very glad that I can finally say Farmstink, which is definitely definitely her name... I hate this

-I like the war between narrator and player. It's a weird metanarrative that probably won't be too relevant, but is still charming.

-PUMPKINS.

-She is psychic. But we knew that.

-JADE! Finally I can fucking say it! Jade! Jade Harley! (I'm probably gonna forget the last name but whatever)

-Is her shirt gonna keep changing or...?

-It's interesting that the player controls the flute refrain, but one could argue that that is reflective of Jade's psychic powers. Perhaps she is even somewhat receptive to the whims of the player, who, while not exactly a God, does count as a "higher power".

-I have stuff to say about the pumpkin, but I'm gonna wait a few posts.

-Interesting that Jade hasn't set her fetch modus. Even more interesting that you can purchase them.

-I am terrified to see what happens when the fetch modus runs out of space. My guess is that it will pick a random item and fling it out.

-I want to note that fetch moduses are inconvenient, and so is Jade's. However, Jade's fetch modus is not particularly inconvenient for her because of her psychic powers. She has solved the fetch modus problem by applying it perfectly to her person. Compare that to John, who wings it, Rose, who picks something artful, yet particularly hard to use, and Dave, who picks the popular, "technically right" option (if I remember Data Structures correctly)

-I think it's funny that Jade actually does the absurd command, but this time, unintentionally finds a comfortable way to do so. There's a reason why she was separated from the other characters. Thus far she seems to be able to see through blind spots in logic, but often does not quite grasp their context. This is just after meeting her though, so who knows.

-Ah, it seems that this is in the past too. Oh god. Why does time have to be like this? It's like I have to keep a record in my head of what point of time every character exists in relative to each other. Roughly, this appears to be Jade -> Dave -> John & Rose -> Vagabond.

-What pumpkins?

-Also OH MY GOD! IT CHANGED AGAIN! Now it's the slug on John's shirt but blue.

-This shirt changing thing better not mean we're secretly cutting between many alternate timeline versions of Jade. Absolutely nothing I have heard about Homestuck PERIOD says otherwise.

-The fruit have faces on them.

-Oh I get it, cause non themed memory is just fruit.

-Jade is a furry?

-Also, is she a weird combo of the other three characters.

-WHY DOES SHE HAVE GUNS?

-Do we think Jade is going to point the gun at an innocent creature? Are going to actually trust the narrator with this?

-RIFLEKIND!? I mean, if you're actually expecting to fight, I guess so, but still.

-Jade is the min-maxxed character, isn't she?

-Jade's shirt is

Randice is a flower. He does need water, but not as much as he thinks. You shouldn't worry. If you are considering Randice, you should adopt Wavey as well. Wavey knows how to trick Randice.

-Oh, it's that simple?

-Why didn't anyone tell me that Jade is a furry?

-Jokes aside though, I really like this character.

-What if the magic 8 ball's right though?

-Y'all, I think I know why Jade is psychic.

-What if Jade's grandfather made Sburb?

-The base is truly perfect for Jade.

-WHAT THE FUCK!?

-So, not only did Sburb (supposedly) kill the dinosaurs, but the frog thing is that old? What is happening?

-How is Jade's computer not the one killing the Earth?

-I mean, it's gonna be a part of that, but still.

-mirth, though not his own.

-I REALLY do not like the striders. Though, I know I may have read this already. Still though. Goddamn it.

-I think it's interesting to see Dave make a song like this. It's much less intense than the version of him we see. We've already seen Dave be a little different around Jade, so it's nice to see he has someone he can show a different side of his creative expression to (that being said, I really do not remember the first song Dave played).

-Intermission eh?

-Imagine Homestuck's Homestuck's Homestuck's Homestuck

-Wh- what? Did the Act just... stop?

-Oh, back to Midnight Crew I guess.

-Wait. Is Dave supposed to be fighting his brother or Cal? I mean, his brother is clearly op, but I'm assuming he can change Cal's difficulty settings.

-Though I doubt ____ would let his brother go at his favorite puppet with an actual sword if he wasn't confident Dave would miss. (Oh God ITS HAPPENING AGAIN)

-I can't believe this is how Cal attacks. Nevertheless, I'm sure ____ has better things to do during the APOCALYPSE

-How much does Jade know? I mean, she didn't know what Sburb was, but still.

-Fate plays a very important role in this series. Of course, we already knew that. Still, Jade seems very encouraging about Sburb, but she is apparently unaware about the role it plays in the apocalypse.

-Ah, yes. That's what the end of the world is. Fun. A game in fact. A fun game. After all that fucking happens after this point, we better not end with all the characters on their computers on Earth having finished the game. What little I recall from the Sarah Z video opposes that but still.

-And now we return to the apocalypse.

-I can't believe the dead cat was a part of the plan this whole time.

-Granny healer

-Ah yes. The classic feeling of hitting enemies and hoping they'll tell you how much you're hurting them.

-worm

-Interesting, an entity on the supposedly good side has a supposedly evil sword. I say supposed cause I have a real feeling that this is much more complicated than good and evil.

-So, as I've mentioned before, I'm not strictly reading Homestuck. I'm watching the dub on the Voice Over Nexus YouTube channel. For the most part, I think this has been a good decision. It requires much less reading on my part, the voice acting keeps me engaged, and the inclusion of the flash game sections allows me to experience them without having to download the best version of the comic onto my computer. However, here is where a particularly weird quirk comes out. See, up until now, the Sburb guide has been written by Rose. This is something a reader would come to know through context clues, but it certainly helps to hear Rose's VA. For this segment, I can distinctly hear John's VA, which perhaps gives away something before it is revealed.

-Oh, he just said that Rose asked him. Oh well. Another day, another pointless paragraph I guess.

-It's interesting to see John figure out a significant part of the game, It's also interesting how the punch cards are based in something theoretically plausible, though I'm not sure how many combos of captchalogued things there really can be.

-Also it's weird that this entire system is based off of the English language

-For the record, if my math is correct, there are 68719476736 codes. I feel like there are more things in the universe than that.

-Oh that's so weird.

-Oh. My math is way off. Goddamn it. And here I thought I pulled a gotcha.

-It is cool to see that the writer thought through this.

-Excuse me!? Rose has some very important business to attend to.

-Seeing logos relevant to sburb on a company logo is VERY concerning. I mean, they were there before with Jade, but Jade and her world are both eccentric enough to potentially justify it.

-Why is Jade's house black and white now?

-Oh no. Don't tell me Jade's grandpa's weird interest is taxidermy. (It is, isnt it?)

-Oh-no more hobbies!

-Jade and everything around her are such wild cards.

-Jade has sisters?

-Another worm?

-WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?

-Oh, CG is a _____, aren't they? First relevant in Act 5 my foot, my poor poor foot.

-Again. Is there no way to access the leaves on the tree?

-AHA! Still not sure what to do about the cat though.

-Skaianet? Oh-no

-NO! THEY KILLED THE WORM!

-There must be something thematic about timers in this series

-A note about the Striders and their fight. Dave and ____ have two distinctly different fighting styles. Dave's fighting style prioritizes heavy hitting and strong attacks, while utilizing dodges at his primary defense tactic. ____ alternatively uses blocking, and prefers to attack in ways that catch the opponent off guard, not even using the sword to do so. What's also notable is that Dave puts more focus on offense, trying to get in as many hits as possible, while ____ puts more focus on defense, blocking until he can catch his opponent off guard. Notice that this is the perfect counter to Dave.

-I wonder, if this company is here, then what is the supposed fate that drives everyone forward? Is it a higher power, or is it an illusion of a higher power generated by the exploits of an institution?

-So, if there are meteors spawning without a session, what starts the meteors? The game is involved, but what is it doing?

-I feel like the meteors are coordinated to destiny or something, which is pretty messed up.

-The only comment I have on John's fighting style is that he is improving, but must actively rely on others to find success. Or at least that's what I would leave it at, if I didn't acknowledge that unlike Dave, John is finding success. Perhaps Dave cannot defeat his brother alone, but he might if he had the help of an ally.

-OH GOD DAMN IT! There goes several of the points in my Act 1 analysis! See you all next fall!

-So, is Sburb fucked up or isn't i?

-The worst part is I just know there are homestuck fans who perfectly know every grist type, possibly including future me.

-Dramatic Irony for Granny at work

-Riddles are a recurring motif in this series. Just making a note of that.

-Oh this is different.

-The shaving cream sound should not have made me laugh as much as it did.

-I should note that Graveyard Stuffers is an interesting phrase in that it antagonizes John and his father for a legitimate and understandable reason. If we step back a moment, we can realize that John isn't just killing enemies in a game, he's killing people with feelings... I'm gonna do all this analysis to make the evil side look good and then watch them do the most reprehensible shit, aren't I?

-Also has anyone else struggled to not call Sburb "Homestuck"?

-And so we are the Peregrine Mendicant, who is our first exposure to the side of "good". Seeing as they killed the friendly worm, I'm not too confident in them.

-I'm fascinated by the nature of being trapped in Homestuck. We've seen two of these strange entities trapped in mysterious spaceships, but also, the nature of Sburb traps players in their homes, requiring them to expand their homes rather than leave and venture somewhere else. The one question I'll ask for now is this: If you are trapped somewhere for an extended period of time, does it become your home?

-The doctor died in the apocalypse, didn't he?

-All the senders and recipients of mail are probably dead. This is just sad.

-Prediction: The PM (Peregrine Mendicant) will be able to use this computer to mind control Rose (or at least another main character)

-Oh, interesting glimpse of Future Jade

-What if Jade isn't psychic, but is instead being sent messages from the future?

-Okay. It seems my prediction is immediately proven wrong. Sigh.

-Wait. WTF? The machine just explodes!?

-Wow. A tea set.

-This entire situation is so weird. Like this is for an alternate version of Rose and with a separate cat? Perhaps this is a representation of a younger Rose's room?

-I'm intrigued by how much they've built up John's Father's room.

-Okay, black and white colorization is an interesting way to convey darkness.

-I want to make fun of Jade's grandpa's beliefs that Jade should arm herself, but I really don't have it in me

-I love how the narrator is just arbitrarily picking and choosing who to focus on at a particular moment. Such is the nature of elaborate storytelling.

-Oh, never mind. I guess Dave is just not in a good spot right now.

-Is Jade's grandpa... dead? That's... unexpectedly morbid. Who's been looking after her?

-This fight scene would be funny if I wasn't still shocked by Jade's dead grandpa.

-I have nothing yet to say about Jade's fighting style.

-Good on Jade for successfully confronting the adult figure in her life and choosing to live how she wants... I guess?

-This is actually really sad.

-good worm

-Did I hallucinate a cat meowing in Homestuck!?

-Also is that Polybius? (The scream of my first creepypasta phase can be heard in the distance)

-Oh. It's just an appearifier

-Time traveling in Homestuck is fucked

-Wouldn't the nature of the Butterfly Effect (albeit the pop culture version) just prevent the removal of all past objects in general?

-O... kay. I certainly wasn't expecting a time machine trying and failing to create a copy of Jasper from the past would be how we rope him back into the plot.

-Wait. So Jasper was appearified, presumably in the then present, and then his corpse just showed up? Either that or we're building up to a major paradox.

-Also what's with all the major plot points about corpses!?

-Oh-no. Jasper being missing in time for a week can only mean time travel. Can't wait for Rose to break time in Act 5 Act 2 (I'm being sarcastic here, but if this is actually right then holy shit).

-This is so haunting

-Is the cat with Rose now Jasper from the past? Yea-probably.

-Woah. New location.

-Also. It just occured to me that there is probably a corpse in Dave's life that I just don't know about yet.

-The PM is rather endearing

-Also, I just realized. PM can also stand for Post Man

And that's it. To be honest, I think I'm gonna put off the Act 2 Analysis for a bit longer, assuming I even do it ever, if for nothing else than just that I'm getting really into it now. Besides, the space between Act 3 and an Act 2 analysis is the perfect spot for my own special intermission. For now though, I'll see you around next time for the rest of Act 3.

[theluckyr]

New Routine

What day to day looks like now that there's (y/n) in HQ

Jett

Will take you to Chinatown. It's a must, no question asked and it's her treat.

Whether it’s for just a casual walk or eating out at one of k-bbq places, she wouldn't mind at all.

After she done training, immediately she ran to you.

"Did you see what I did there?"

"Yep, that was amazing

Always makes sure to put her knives and firearms away when talking to you. Because she's really afraid that you might get hurt.

Surprise her with a pillow fort and movies after a long day of work, her fatigue would go away.

Viper

You're now her assistant. Whenever she needs a pair of hands or second opinion, she always ask you.

She enjoys your presence, because every day she deals with just chaos on top of chaos from sage trying to keep up with Jett who has low Hp, Skye accidentally blind her sight, to Kay/o just being his own self. So whenever you're around she feels calm.

Really likes listening to your ramblings about anything while drinking her cup of coffee.

You can talk for hours about bugs or dinosaurs in her lab and she would reply "Oh, I never knew they would do that. Care to elaborate?"

Because of this, she will give you a replica of your favorite moth or dinosaur's fossil as a present.

Chamber

Well, this man is quite the character.

Seeing you idling around the HQ, really made him more motivated with his work and not having artblock very often.

To him, your voice was like a sweet melody and he could never get enough of it. So it’s not a surprise for you two to have some late night talks with a glass of wine or sparkling cider (he’ll cater to your preferences, no worries).

Occasionally, he would listen to your conversation so he’ll know what to get for you.

(Y/n) : *sigh heavily* I failed….

Raze : What’s wrong?

Neon : There’s a bakery around the HQ and they’re famous for their fresh pastries. Whenever (Y/n) pays a visit, it already sold out

(Y/n) : Freshly baked croissants dipped in hot coffee would be perfect for this evening. Alright then I’ll set my alarm early tonight. Hope i’ll be there before the store open

KJ : That’s the spirit! I’ll convince brim if we can borrow his jeep tomorrow.

But alas, you woke up late and just right when you’re about to get your jacket, you saw a pink box from the same bakery wrapped in gold ribbon with a note that says “Enjoy.”

If you have something that are bothering you, please just ask for his help. Please 🥺 financially? Emotionally? Get rid of a body? He'll do anything. Just ask, Mon Cheri.

Every bit of physical gesture you made to him, he will savor it every moment. Even as simple as dusting off the sands on his shoulders after his work in Bind or accidentally holding his hand when you handed him something.

Sova

I'm obsessed with him, ik it's a problem

This man is the definition of dreamy when you see him in person.

Because of this, you apologized to him for not mastering his lineups very well.

No worries, he understands your struggles. It’s okay <3

Instead of worrying about your past actions, why don't you enjoy the time with him, please?

(Y/n) : hey Sova

Sova : Hm?

(Y/n) : Knock knock

Sova : Who’s there?

(Y/n) : Mike Weaver

Sova : Mike Weaver who?

(Y/n) : Mike Weaver is never full

That cheesy joke really made him burst out laughing. Even everyone in the HQ never heard him laugh so happily like that.

Because of this, he really treasure that moment and if cypher try to recreate it, rest assured he would savor sova’s knuckle sandwich as his tea time snack.

Yoru

Definitely not a Tsundere, what are you talking about? (¬/////¬)

He always wants to talk with you the same way you talk with others, but his pride wouldn’t let him.

One thing that he loves hates is how you could be very nonchalant towards his actions.

One time, he did the infamous kabedon on you instead of being mesmerized, you pull him for a tight hug.

“You know, you can always ask for a hug. I wouldn’t mind at all :) “ then they walked away

The man dropped on his knees, too stunned to speak and stayed in his room for days to recover from the interactions.

But that doesn’t mean he’s giving his rivals a chance, no way.

Now whenever (y/n) taking a photo, there would be a familiar blue figure with a scowl on his face in the background.

Wouldn't admit that the hug felt really warm and (y/n) smelled really sweet yet very…. addicting.

One of the culprits of taking some of (y/n)'s perfume/cologne into a spray bottle. So whenever he is in a grumpy mood, he'll spray some on his pillow and hug it really tight, pretending that it's you.

[nblef]

Some of my fav Taylor Swift lyrics:

Tell me, when did your winning smile Begin to look like a smirk? When did all our lessons start to look like weapons Pointed at my deepest hurt?

--

Life was a willow and it bent right to your wind

Wait for the signal and I'll meet you after dark Show me the places where the others gave you scars

--

I greet you with a battle hero's welcome I take your indiscretions all in good fun

I made you my temple, my mural, my sky Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life

You assume I'm fine, but what would you do if I

I break free and leave us in ruins? Took this dagger in me and removed it? Gain the weight of you then lose it Believe me, I could do it

I sit and watch you

--

I should've asked you questions I should've asked you how to be Asked you to write it down for me Should've kept every grocery store receipt 'Cause every scrap of you would be taken from me

--

And I snuck in through the garden gate Every night that summer just to seal my fate And I screamed for whatever it's worth "I love you, " ain't that the worst thing you ever heard? He looks up grinning like a devil

--

The burgundy on my T-shirt when you splashed your wine into me And how the blood rushed into my cheeks, so scarlet, it was The mark you saw on my collarbone, the rust that grew between telephones The lips I used to call home, so scarlet, it was maroon

--

I hosted parties and starved my body Like I'd be saved by a perfect kiss

--

Puttin' someone first only works when you're in their top five

Sapphire tears on my face Sadness became my whole sky But some guy said my aura's moonstone Just 'cause he was high

--

'Cause if you dare, you'll see the glare Of everyone you burned just to get there It's coming back around

Sweet like honey, karma is a cat Purring in my lap 'cause it loves me

Spider-boy, king of thieves Weave your little webs of opacity My pennies made your crown

'Cause karma is the thunder Rattling your ground Karma's on your scent like a bounty hunter Karma's gonna track you down Step by step from town to town

--

And maybe it's the past that's talkin' Screamin' from the crypt Tellin' me to punish you for things you never did So I justified it

--

If clarity's in death, then why won't this die? Years of tearing down our banners, you and I Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first

--

And there we are again when nobody had to know You kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath Sacred prayer and we'd swear To remember it all too well

And you call me up again just to break me like a promise So casually cruel in the name of bein' honest

And I was never good at tellin' jokes, but the punch line goes I'll get older, but your lovers stay my age

--

Did you think we'd be fine? Still got scars on my back from your knife So don't think it's in the past These kind of wounds they last and they last Now did you think it all through? All these things will catch up to you

--

I remember your bare feet down the hallway I remember your little laugh Race cars on the kitchen floor, plastic dinosaurs I love you to the moon and back

I remember the drive home when the blind hope Turned to crying and screaming, "Why?" Flowers pile up in the worst way, no one knows what to say About a beautiful boy who died

--

And baby, for you, I would fall from grace Just to touch your face If you walk away I'd beg you on my knees to stay

--

Our secret moments in a crowded room They've got no idea about me and you There is an indentation in the shape of you Made your mark on me, a golden tattoo

--

Up on the roof with a school girl crush Drinking beer out of plastic cups Say you fancy me, not fancy stuff Baby, all at once, this is enough

--

It was so nice being friends again There I was giving you a second chance But you stabbed me in the back while shaking my hand

And here's to you 'Cause forgiveness is a nice thing to do Hahaha, I can't even say it with a straight face!

--

We were jet-set, Bonnie and Clyde (oh-oh) Until I switched to the other side, to the other side It's no surprise I turned you in (oh-oh) 'Cause us traitors never win

--

You took a swing, I took it hard And down here from the ground, I see who you are

I'm sick and tired of your attitude I'm feeling like I don't know you

And I need you like a heartbeat But you know you got a mean streak Makes me run for cover when you're around

--

Count to ten Take it in This is life before you know who you're gonna be At fifteen

--

You drew stars around my scars But now I'm bleedin'

--

But if I just showed up at your party Would you have me? Would you want me? Would you tell me to go fuck myself? Or lead me to the garden?

--

Your mom's ring in your pocket My picture in your wallet Your heart was glass, I dropped it Champagne problems

One for the money, two for the show I never was ready, so I watch you go Sometimes you just don't know the answer 'Til someone's on their knees and asks you

--