#blue screen barney

[batrachised]

sometimes i'll be living my life, beeboopbopping along, when I'll suddenly get the urge to rewatch the blue castle movie only to remember THERE ISN'T ONE

[mzannthropy]

Uncle Benjamin is the best when he's on your side but the worst when he's against you, how is this guy not a lawyer.

[crusheswhimsandfancies]

[3-enbies-in-a-trenchcoat]

Can everyone please go watch Dead End: Paranormal Park? It’s a comedy/horror cartoon on Netflix that has some of the best representation I’ve ever seen in any piece of media.

Netflix didn’t do shit to advertise it but it’s amazing!

One of the main characters is a Pakistani-American autistic bi girl with anxiety whose special interest actively contributes to the plot. The other is a fat, Jewish, gay trans man with blue hair, pronouns, and a pug voiced by Beetlejuice.

Not only that, but they’re also allowed to say the words! Barney says he’s trans, Norma says she’s bi, and Logs says he’s gay!

Also, several episodes acknowledge the ways in which those things affect these characters : Barney deals with transphobia(without anyone ever misgendering/dead-naming him on-screen. Also, he deals with a type of quiet (??) transphobia that is almost never acknowledged in tv shows and I could talk about just that for so long), an episode of season 2 is mostly dedicated to coming out, episode 3 of season 1 has a scarily accurate representation of Norma’s anxiety, etc.

Also, despite the fact that Barney is trans and fat, no one ever gives him that look for having feelings for someone who’s cis, fitter, taller and more ‘typically attractive’ than him. It’s made clear early-on that his feelings are reciprocated, and no one gives him shit(however, he does briefly talk about being body-shamed when at the gym).

Honorable mentions :

-“I’m sorry you’re straight.”

-Gord

-Amazing worldbuilding

-No punching bag character (I mean that as, like, degrading jokes. Because physically there absolutely is)

-Courtney

-Time travel but done right

-There’s a main character who dies twice

-It has actually funny moments, which is great for a comedy

-It has actually scary moments, which is great for horror

-The way Logs talks about coming out(I know it’s already in the post but that scene was so fucking great)

-MUSICAL EPISODE (the music is AWESOME)

-Barney asks Norma for permission to hug her because he knows she doesn’t like being touched

-‘theydies and gentlethems’

[adrian-sheppy]

wanders into your askbox uhm . if you have any hcs for fryman and/or IPS freemanverse i would love to hear !!

why but of course :3 ! (hcs under read more)

Cicero:

hopeless romantic! LOVES bugs and creatures but ESPECIALLY fish. he and Barney og are fishing buddies. hes also bffs with john freeman! Cicero is smart, but the language barrier makes it difficult for him to actually share his thoughts with the other freemen (though gorgeous and freerun understand him perfectly!). he's pretty upbeat but also cna be sopping wet cat pathetic . loves blue bc of ocean and loves sundresses . very bendy . loves accessories, fidgets a lot. thinks being shot with a gun is romantic in certain circumstances (the others are horrofied by this GTE-specfic courting ritual). talks a LOT and uses his hands

IPS:

ips doesnt really like Get the others because they are flesh and it is binary. before it recognized the others as life forms, it was slightly antagonistic (not out of malice, but more.. not knowing any better/ fear of these rogue elements). good friends with benrey. while it has a physical form, in a Domestic Au environment, it sticks to screens, hoping over their network and chilling on phones and tvs and monitors like a little shimeji friend. it doesn't make noise (versus buggy who like. never shuts up). doesnt like microwaves. very sharp to the touch, usually warm-ish as if you're touching a running computer tower.

[dethkrypt]

x x x . x x x . x x x

‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿

can you do a blue barneuy calhoun computer themed ones 💙 (anon)

YES!!! sorry the barney gifs been through a fucking deepfryer i wanted to get a video of him on an actual tv screen to better fit the stimboard but i just realised it makes him look like hes been put in a deepfryer and left for beta particle decay to take him slowly. Sorry

[pawfulofwaffles]

Listening to one of the new audios on the now-live-again Welcome Home website and I literally adore Barnaby's voice. He sounds slightly like Fred Flintstone to me, it's reminding me of nights at my grandma's house, rewatching her Flintstones DVDs for the hundredth time. His voice brings me back to that cozy, childish comfort of turning on the TV and being greeted by the blue screen as I hear the fan whir up in it with a pitched buzz, before I settle beneath the quilt on my bed and snuggle in, falling asleep to the low quailty recorded voices of the Fred and Barney and all their wacky fun...

[no-where-new-hero]

Thank you @batrachised for tagging me in a 20 questions fanfic author game!

1-How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently 2, will soon be 3 :)

2-What's your total AO3 word count?

Currently 10,518.

3-What fandoms do you write for?

LM Montgomery novels and Tale of the Nine-Tailed at the moment.

4-What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

"A Dream of the Woodland," my Barney Snaith pov fic, has the most kudos simply because the Blue Castle Book Club are lovely and generous people!

5-Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do because I'm still new enough to this that every comment has me giggling and kicking my feet, and I want the commenter to feel like their time was spent well on typing out a reaction! It also feels like a mini-conversation about my favorite thing (my work hehe).

6-What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I mean, "The One who Takes" will automatically be the angstiest because it's canon compliant, basically a canon novelization, and I spent the previous 4800 words leading up to the finale shaping the characters to deliver the maximum possible pain out of an already painful situation. I have to admit I enjoy writing angst; I enjoy happy endings but until now the main feedback I've gotten on my works and pairings is that they're "sweet" and that feels like a vital misrepresentation of my core self lol.

7-What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

"A Dream of the Woodland" probably, again canon compliancy. The two drafts I have growing won't be happy to the same extent.

8-Do you get hate on fics?

Not yet 👀

9-Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I've become a very fade to black writer after several years of struggling to walk a fine line between graphic, which I guess is the point but not always, and merely allusive, which ends up kind of...unnecessarily poetic (me staring at the sex scene in Divine Rivals, which had me convinced the writer was Christian). This is me standing on my bandbox, but unless it's explicit, I find including smut incredibly awkward. And sometimes being explicit simply doesn't fit the story, and pwp is not my thing. So I've decided to start steering clear of it until I've found a way to toe that line (Starling House comes closest to achieving this for me, but it's almost not a smut scene? Like you know they're having sex but it's so barely there? OT).

10-Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Not yet, but I'm still percolating elements for the Dean Priest x Barney Snaith x Walter Blythe fic. After that discussion about Dean being bisexual or at least closetedly in love with Douglas, that idea surged back into my consciousness again.

11-Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No, luckily. I'm not famous enough for that to happen lol.

12-Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, but that sounds like a huge honor.

13-Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

No, but I'm open to the idea!

14-What's your all-time favourite ship?

Oh lord what a question. It's hard because I have a few but so often I want to keep them sacrosanct from fanfiction because I have the only correct interpretation of the ship and won't accept others lol. The one exception is that "euchronology" story about Dean x Emily, but otherwise yeah I tend to avoid reading about ships that are special to me.

15-What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I mean, that LMM sad guy crossover feels a bit ambitious for my time right now, even though I have the elements in place. We'll see.

16-What are your writing strengths?

The prose. I've been doing this for so long that getting pretty words out onto the screen stops feeling like effort.

17-What are your writing weaknesses?

I think I get stuck in my prose and forget that a story needs momentum. And also a shape. Learning how to outline would be great haha.

18-Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

This is actually interesting considering I'm writing for a media created in another language that I partially know, so while writing the new dialogue in "The One who Takes," I was very conscious of not just "would he say that" but also "what would the sentence structure feel like" and "I am also aware that I am filtering this awareness of speech pattern through translation." I don't think I did very well, but it was a thought process.

19-First fandom you wrote for?

I mean, the first "real" OG writing I ever did was very very thinly veiled The Hero and the Crown fanfic (by Robin McKinley, another of my formative books), so I guess that one? Though I feel like I only entered fandom properly this year with The Blue Castle.

20-Favorite fic you've ever written?

"The One who Takes." I don't see that getting dethroned by any of my other ideas any time soon. I love my murder children, I achieved what I wanted with it, I feel like I was writing at the top of my form. It has every element I ever loved in a fic (star-crossed love, hurt/comfort, charged mentor/mentee relationship, unhappy ending) and the form satisfied me (unlinear, lyrical, close 3rd person POV, thematically circular). ANYWAY I'm gassing this one up so you can all check it out here if you haven't already :)))

Tagging (if you haven't done this already): @mollywog @kehlana-wolhamonao3 @thesweetnessofspring

[anewkindofme]

omg just saw your pinned post 😭 sorry please ignore that last ask about lone star, if you have any unused headcanons for jackson & mark instead that would be so cool too!

It's okay! I've been meaning to take that out anyway. I only put it in a while back because I was getting overwhelmed with asks about the fic and then it was making it harder to write it because I was basically putting all the ideas there vs the fic, if that makes any sense. I still don't have any more specific headcanons I'd share, as I've shared a lot, but I would love to answer any questions people have!

Anyway, as for Mark and Jackson, I don't have a whole lot but if you have any specific questions about the fics, please let me know!

I based this off "My Boy" specifically.

Ask me questions about my fics!

Jackson will start his double board certification soon so he can specialize in plastics and ENT. Mark will be stressed about his mental state being able to handle it as Jackson's been under a lot of stress lately.

Mark checks to make sure Jackson is breathing when sleeping, even when he's in an older space.

Jackson doesn't have a screentime limit, but mostly because he doesn't need one. He'll easily play with toys or find other stuff to do. Mark also doesn't buy into "screens will rot your brain".

Co-sleepinng helps both Mark and Jackson. One, Jackson gets the comfort he needs and he feels safe with his dad. Two, Mark sleeps better knowing that Jackson is right there, breathing and safe.

If it's not obvious, Mark is an extremely anxious parent and works hard to make sure that his anxiety doesn't rub off on Jackson.

Prior to Addison, Mark would go on dates and have one night stands, but he always went on them during Jackson's shifts. And he'd never bring anyone back to the apartment. He wasn't about to expose Jackson to any of that.

Additionally, Mark never intended to date someone seriously until now. One, his heart was still caught up on Addison. More importantly, he knew Jackson was not in the right place until now for him to date and potentially get a mom.

The Yankees hoodie is the equivalent of a security blanket for Jackson that he can bring everywhere because it doesn't give away that he's a Little.

Jackson tends to prefer 90s cartoons/children's shows because they were all things he wanted to watch when he was younger but Catherine never let him since he had to be "a big boy". That includes Barney (of course), Arthur, Little Bear, Rugrats, Bear In The Big Blue House, etc.

After Jackson moved in, Mark changed all the pillowcases in the apartment to silk ones to ensure his hair was protected.

Because Jackson tends to like a lot of older shows that may not have a ton of merch you can buy at stores today. Mark gets a lot of stuff off eBay, Etsy or at thrift stores.

This was one given to me by @cianmarstoo but Mark has an intern use a Cricut to make stuff related to his 90s obsessions.

Jackson is a "spa baby", aka he loves lotions, face masks, etc. One, he has super sensitive skin. Two, it helps him de-stim.

I didn't go into this in fic, but Jackson debated keeping the "Avery" in his name. Because while he has a complicated history with his family, it's still a huge part of him and helped him get to a certain point in his life. So, he changed his middle name to that. But still took on "Sloan" as a fresh slate.

Though, Alex still calls him a "nepo baby" because even if people don't know he's an Avery...Mark is still a well-regarded plastic surgeon that people fly from all over to see. And Jackson points out he literally has Grey in his name, so is he one to talk?

[robo-writing]

u know that spawn ending astarion but where he’s like “we should have sex on my actual grave” i think barnabas would orgasm on the spot if vampy proposed the idea of him fuckin them on their grave. i think it would fry his brain and make him permanently hard for a month at least. i love my freak of nature barney

I think he’d fully blue screen and reboot at the mention of it, then when the lights turn back on in his head all the blood in his body would rush to his dick and he’d be calling a chocobo courier in record time. Actually, screw that, he’ll just summon Sleipnir, there’s no time to waste—

[martinjost]

On the State of "The Matrix"

[translation of:]

We weren't entirely sure if this new "Matrix" film really existed or if we had dreamed it. It came to theaters during the peculiar dream-like time called The Pandemic and is, of course, available on home video by now. In the public consciousness, it hasn't left as significant an impact as the "Matrix" trilogy from 1999 onwards. The original film is 24 years old. Back then, it felt like it had propelled us more than a quarter of a century into the future, but today, Part One seems more like an artifact of its time. So, what about this latest sequel? Is it from the present, is it nostalgic, or does it give us a glimpse of the future?

There's a structural difference between the latest installment of "The Matrix" from 2021 and the old trilogy (1999 – 2003) that feels subtle but sets the mood of the film: In the fourth "Matrix" film, "Resurrections," unexpected allies keep appearing, where previously surprising saboteurs provided tension. In "The Matrix," Cypher (Joe Pantoliano) betrays Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne) and his crew to the enemy machines at the most inconvenient moment. In "Resurrections," there's a ceasefire, and some machines have joined the humans. It may happen that an intelligent machine appears at the right moment to help humans out of a dangerous situation.

If self-irony were sugar, we'd have heartburn now.

The color scheme subtly contributes to the feeling that we're in a more optimistic Matrix. Warm light and sunset ambiance replace the previously dominant gray, pallid clouds, and pale faces glowing from computer screens. "The Matrix Resurrections" is in every way more joyful, optimistic, and confident than its predecessors – one might even say it's almost silly. If self-irony were sugar, we'd have heartburn now.

At the beginning of the film, Neo (Keanu Reeves) is back where he was at the beginning of the first part: working as a programmer. His experiences as a freedom fighter against the machines in the real world were mere delusions, he believes. He processed them into a successful video game series called "The Matrix Trilogy." The plot initially follows the same path as the first part, but this time with meta-commentary and fan jubilation from the sidelines. It's a younger generation led by Captain Bugs (Jessica Henwick) who seeks Neo in the real world and frees him from the Matrix. To them, Neo is legendary.

And for us, he is too. The film is a class reunion for Millennials. We'd like to know if someone who has only seen "Resurrections" and no other "Matrix" film can make sense of the fourth installment. The dialogue consists almost entirely of inside jokes. The rest is made up of quotes. Often, we can even directly compare the scenes, as fragments from the original films are constantly present – either as flashbacks or as films within the film. When the characters watch excerpts from the previous parts, the sequences in diegesis are taken from Neo's blockbuster video game, which they've all binged.

Déjà vu

This time too, Neo needs two attempts before swallowing the red pill and deciding to escape from the virtual reality. The meeting with Morpheus (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II) takes place in an old cinema. On the torn screen, the same scene from the first "Matrix" is shown, in which the old Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne) lets Neo choose between the red pill and the blue pill. Did we say above that the echoes of the past were subtle? Scratch 'subtle.' By the way, the soundtrack is also very familiar to us, having watched "Matrix" 1 to 3 more than once.

Neil Patrick Harris (Barney from "How I Met Your Mother") plays Neo's psychotherapist. Later, we discover that he is responsible for much more than gaslighting Neo. The analyst's glasses glow blue, just like the pills he prescribes to his patient for his "hallucinations." He has a black cat named Déjà vu. Did we say above that the echoes of the past were subtle? Scratch 'subtle.'

Trinity (Carrie-Anne Moss) is called Tiffany in this version of the Matrix. She is a mother and wife and spends her remaining time on her hobby: motorcycles. She has also played the "Matrix" trilogy computer gane and felt oddly familiar with the story. The character Trinity in the video game looked remarkably similar to her as well.

Neo's Eleven

The second half of "Resurrections" falls into the genre of a heist movie. Like in "Ocean's Eleven," the free people from the city I/O and the crew of the Mnemosyne plan a heist. They don't want to rob a bank but rather free Trinity from a high-security tower. However, she must first want to break free from the Matrix herself.

We can be pleased that the dialogues about the theory of the Matrix are as concise and pointed as in the first part, even though we miss Hugo Weaving as Smith and Laurence Fishburne as Morpheus. The new "Architect" of the Matrix understands human nature even better than his predecessors. In a monologue, he explains how to more efficiently harness human bodies for energy generation: one must engage their minds with emotions, contradiction, and anger, then the yields increase year after year. This moment corresponds to a scene in the first part where Smith explains to Morpheus that enslaved humans would rebel against a paradisiacal golden cage and only function correctly when their lives are a gloomy struggle.

In both the latest and the first part, the irony lies in the fact that the machines understand and exploit human nature excellently for their purposes. The machines' view of humanity has been adapted to themes like fake news, attention as currency, and political trench warfare. The question of whether AI (artificial intelligence) will take over the world has become even more acute since 1999. Despite all the nostalgia, "Matrix: Resurrections" has caught up thematically and is a film of today. [translated with ChatGPT.]

"The Matrix Resurrections"

USA, Germany 2021

⭐⭐⭐☆☆

Director: Lana Wachowski. Screenplay: Lana Wachowski, Aleksandar Hemon, David Mitchell. Production: Lana Wachowski, Grant Hill, James McTeigue. Music: Johnny Klimek, Tom Tykwer. Cinematography: John Toll, Daniele Massaccesi. Editing: Joseph Jett Sally.

Starring: Keanu Reeves, Carrie-Anne Moss, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, Jessica Henwick, Jonathan Groff, Neil Patrick Harris, Priyanka Chopra, Jada Pinkett Smith, Lambert Wilson, Christina Ricci, Toby Onwumere, Max Riemelt, Brian J. Smith, Eréndira Ibarra, Telma Hopkins, Chad Stahelski, Julian Grey, Andrew Lewis Caldwell, Ellen Hollman, Freema Agyeman.

[ashestoshadows]

Today I'm doing a list on shiny Pokemon! But this time they're on shinies that are either ridiculous or just make no sense in any matter of the word sense.

-------------

No 1. Garchomp/and it's catastrophic mega form

(Normal is far left while shiny normal is middle and mega shiny is right)

Whoever designed normal shiny Garchomp deserves a slap in the face and whoever designed this monstrosity of a mega Pokemon's color scheme deserves a real whack in the face. I love Garchomp to bits but why did they have to almost make it look so pale it puts me and my naturally pasty skin to shame? And or make it look like it's possibly unwell?

And to make matters worse and rub salt into the open wound it gets even worse with its mega, who designed these? I figured they'd want to make Garchomp's shiny memorable considering many struggled with Cynthia's, but it turns out they really couldn't care less about such a badass of a pokemon.

Pure disaster and I HATE IT

-----------

No 2. Glaceon

(shiny is right while normal is left)

I love all of the Eeveelutions, but Glaceon and Leafeon's shinies almost are indistinguishable from their normal counterparts if you don't know, or even if you do know you might miss them... Like Garchomp who is no 1 on here.

Why are the designers so bored with designing shiny pokemon?! Don't do the job if you don't put in enough effort for it to shine at least. (no pun intended)

Needs more shine

-----------------

No 3. Leafeon

(Normal is left while shiny is right)

Even in editing of this post I'm struggling to see a real difference on my laptop screen, it only looks like the Leafeon got a slight tan and that is really it. Besides the more verdant green going on which I get but the tan doesn't, even if it is a grass type.

Pure lazy and stop tanning

-----------------

No 4. Pikachu

(Normal is on the left while shiny is on the right)

Pikachu is, and has always been the mascot of Nintendo and Pokemon since it's debut and everyone would assume and expect they'd treat the cute but annoying mouse with respect? Nope.

Just give it the Leafeon treatment and give it a tan. Expect here Pikachu look's like he got covered in cheeto or twistie dust and now looks like a living, breathing, and electrifying cheeto who you cannot eat.

I will eat pikachu if i'm not careful and caught on a bad day

-------------------

No 5. Dragonite

(Normal is on the left while shiny is on the right)

Everyone knows Barney the dinosaur, and Dragonite from Pokemon. And Gamefreak and Nintendo decided to combine them when doing Dragonite's shiny. It almost look's like Barney expect replace the green body with purple and the purple on his wings with green and that'd literally be Barney down to a capital T.

Dragonite is cute and cuddly while Barney isn't. At least to me, and is more scary than anything and I can think of more cooler color schemes for him.

Someone beat up the shiny pokemon designers

--------------------

No 6. Lucario/his disgusting shiny mega form

(Normal is on the left while normal shiny is in the middle and mega is on the right)

I love Lucario- so much so I have a statue of it which is still sitting in its box due to the fact i don't have a place for it currently. But regardless; Did they really have to treat such a beloved pokemon such as Lucario with such disrespect? Am I really seeing these shinies right? Normal is a very unflattering yellow which makes my eyes hurt and his mega form gets more worse although is very close to shiny mega garchomp on awfulness and unflattering colors which hurt my eyes.

His middle part which is usually beige goes to... BLUE? WHY BLUE? and it get worse in his mega form. If his whole shiny was blue it would've looks fine but with the eye-watering yellow it looks... eugh.

------------------

No 7. Gengar (not the mega or gigantamax)

(Normal on the left while shiny is on the right)

Gengar is one of the many favourite ghost types of mine, it fluctuates how much I like it at times. The difference between a shiny gengar is the blue in its mouth???

Not sure if that is still the case as I don't have one, at least, as of writing this (25/06/23) But doesn't change the fact shiny Gengar normally is the living embodiment of disappointment. Like Garchomp from earlier.

Rest in peace the pokemon whose shinies make them either indistinguishable or sick.

--------------

No 8. Mamoswine

(Normal is on left while shiny's on right)

Mamoswine is a good pokemon, it's shiny though? No. I have one too if you wanted any reason to feel bad, or laugh at me, I caught it as a Piloswine with yellow hair (?) in PLA and decided to catch it as it's a shiny and anyone would kill for one. But this???? NO.

It's color scheme is a disgusting almost sewer green which is almost like Lucario's eye-watering yellow illness/plague that I really wish to never come into contact with.

-------------

No 8. Espeon

(Normal on left and shiny on right)

I love cats, there's no way I'm going to deny it as I have been brought up around them but... This one makes me want to try and spend as little time with it as possible due to the fact it is the color of toxicity and i don't want my character to get ill and die.

I still love Espeon, but... Why? Umbreon got the better end of the stick, but why did Espeon get the short end of it? Why are most of the eevee's considered poor color-wise on the scale of shininess??? Did they seriously give up on everything else besides Umbreon, Sylveon, Eevee, alongside Vaporeon who all stick out for the better reason then the rest?

Long story short I want it sent back to Chernobyl before I catch something

-------------

Image post limit is the reason this is not any longer, but yep. More to come of me shaming Nintendo and Gamefreak for their shitty color schemes

I was inspired to do this due to some youtube videos. But it's me on tumblr and my smart-ass

[rjalker]

my phone's screen displays this color:

[ID: A block of dark blue. End ID.]

as the same sort of purple that's on the ace flag, but darker:

[ID: A block of dark purple. End ID.]

so.

that's just. infuriating.

okay. let's test something.

This is a poll. It will last for a week.

Question: Do you see the first block of color as blue or purple?

option 1: It is blue

option 2: it is purple

option 3: It's another color entirely (please tell me what color it is)

option 4: see results

and if you want you can say whether you're on a computer or a phone or other mobile device but you don't have to.

edit: I just opened this post on my phone and it is showing the first block as dark purple, and the second one as very magenta. Like, classic Barney color. I hate this.

[crusheswhimsandfancies]

[unsafe-chikku]

Tossed and turned all night and then had scary dreams about abandonment, getting in trouble unfairly, and my family hating me in a possibly post apocalyptic setting that was very “liminal” and upsetting.

It’s all very vague now of course save for a few key details.

Weirdest details I recall was, one, coming across video tapes that ostensibly showed me as a 12 to 13 year old kid while in a group setting(Also was a group setting on tapes. Christmas or birthday?)

Everyone in the room with me was making fun of little me on the screen. Little me kept committing faux pas and doing weird shit.

Most memorable from all that was a very very uncomfortable sequence of little me on screen taking video of their teeth and mouth.

The teeth were strange and uncanny, it wasn’t natural looking. Lots of weird white saliva, unnaturally white and extra teeth in impossible spots, half eaten food just appearing in the back of the mouth, ect.

They zoomed in on a tooth that was “coming in” between a half broken tooth, and the new one jutted out in a sea of pink between the two halves of broken tooth in a way that made me feel nauseated. I woke up feeling sick.

The second most memorable detail, I was a kid again, but older. Like 16 or so. I found my old Barney dolls but it wasn’t Barney, it was supposedly a character I loved from the show.

It was a two headed bipedal stuffed dinosaur plushie with a sickly yellow head and body with pale blue eyes on one side and a green head beady black eyes and body on the other. On the shared pink belly was a phrase I can’t recall. Something about Love. It was made of a material very similar to my childhood baby bop bath toy (that I gave away to my first niece at my sisters baby shower)

Something about this plush deeply upset me and I woke up soon after finding it.

[writer59january13]

I hanker and pine for wood burning stove weather

I haint no spring chicken, ("Buk buk buk buk ba-gawk!") but in Summer re:

long in tooth sexagenarian

nostalgic for the following imagery evoked yesterday with very little effort (aside from sweat of my brow – just existing)

June twenty second hazy, hot, and humid

at least here within the environs -

of Montgomery County, Pennsylvania

tooth thousand and twenty four,

the air analogous to a steam bath outside, though such insight

strictly predicated on meteorologist as seen on the flat screen.

Now before scrolling down lemme forewarn you of dire prediction reading about how yours truly doth suspire for Old Man Winter

returning with a vengeance

delivering a white July Fourth, Halloween,

Thanksgiving, Christmas,

Groundhog Day, Saint Patrick's Day...

yours truly desiring experiencing

becoming comfortably numb,

after envisioning, invoking then summoning forth cold spell.

Should deep freeze rain (reign)

crystalline precipitation pure as the driven snow

blanketing large swaths of webbed wide world

wreaking havoc courtesy unparalleled blizzard conditions,

would stump and confound earth scientists

suddenly finding themselves pensively trumped subsequently becoming overnight skeptics and staunch Republicans to boot - argh,

who grudgingly, hesitatingly scrap

what seemed to be

irrefutable air tight evidence

with reams of data proving global warming and side with deniers –

mostly non Democrats

courtesy artificial intelligence hinting at inexplicable significant ice age approaching,

barreling, and coming fast as a freight train virtual models prognostication

would show Polar Vortex

engulfing the entire planet clamping down hard

much of the United States

likely a couple short months in the future,

forecasting temperatures to register absolute zero

taxing the electric grids to heat lovely bones chilling, freezing, immobiling civilization, whereby

government agencies regularly issuing permanent code blue declarations,

which teeth chattering cold scenario

impossible mission to imagine or avoid with wind chill factors in triple digits

Jack Frost overstayed courtesy welcome,

when climate controlled central heater allows, enables and provides man/woman made respite hooray,

apartment cozy as a poetry nook,

whereby yours truly his head he doth lay (under crocheted blanket)

quickly slipping into deep sleep; the missus (madre) and her padre

(me) taking a siesta until spring

in my dream I take treadway

from such new zzz land

to Piccadilly Circus, London,

welcoming me to early twentieth century

balmy weather all year round place named Willoughby, where one

unnecessary to get bundled

and wrapped up –

like a mummy dearest

kvetching in vain at frigid forecast oy vey,

where surveillance cameras take x-ray

of suspicious character - Not Me,

while actually in reality outside apartment B44

one after another Nor'easter howls like bajillion banshees

vents wind chill factor

as temperature dips into low double digits as high,

and subzero higher negative number as a low,

I summon (with a puff) fire breathing friendly quasi magic dragon,

an acceptable and laughable substitute

calls for none other than Barney purple anthropomorphic

Tyrannosaurus Rex dinosaur.

Though a non-smoker of cigarettes, I discover pleasure slowly puffing on my pipe, and chose one at random from among the collection

made of briar wood, meerschaum,

corncob, pear-wood, rose-wood or clay listening to crackling flickering hearth,

yours truly snuggling (curled up in a little ball) with favorite reading material close proximity warming, thawing, and quelling lovely bones.

For no particular rhyme nor reason I lapse into a reverie and hear the brutal and nasty wind plaintively howling the song Molly Malone

her lilting voice distinctly heard Crying, "Cockles and mussels, alive, alive, oh!"

Meanwhile atavistic visitations hover after hypnotizing mindscape

of twenty first century Homo sapien as flashback visions of proto humans commingling with competing

short and nasty brutes brushes within subconscious purring, mew zing catacombs

jump/kick starting, harkening, dawning lion eyes zing

thawing ordinarily dormant memories,

where forebears alive bajillion years ago battle him of the republic

thumping their chests

and uttering primal sounds

against vastly outnumbered predators, who make mincemeat of weakest warbler similar to contemporary beastie boy punk bands

survival of the fittest

linkedin to anonymous

Monkey's Uncle recherché representatives toehold barely latched precarious niche easily activated punctuated equilibrium evolutionary quirk

imperceptibly bumped uglies begot robust progeny

offspring expanding comfort zones penumbra expanding edge of night dark shadows receding further

outer limits of twilight zone

phantasmagoric shifting shapes (hint... think Plato's Republic in general –

and Allegory of the Caves in particular - synonymous with Allegory of the Metals)

alluring, beckoning, daring...

establishing, foraging, growing...

harvesting, invoking, jabbering

kowtowing, livingsocial, Ashley Madison matchmaking tinder (ha)...

now lemme zip forward back to the future bajillion years somewhere in time circa 1970's British comedy troupe

nudge nudge wink wink,

say no more know what I mean courtesy Monty Python's Flying Circus

rollicking humorous sketches

oft times tackling primal urges

proto humans initially verbally grunted,

where guffawing laughter

rewarded survivalist basic instinct

temporarily staving rabid quivering premonitions outside

creature comfort boundaries, whereby Geico Caveman

will remain till... dis ember

by George thoroughly good appetizer, viz good chilled Wren plus

Pheasant under glass

burns away hunger pangs.