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#both my boys are in so much pain :'(
poorly-drawn-mdzs · 4 months
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MDZS x ISAT part 1: In Stars and Necromancy.
(Part 2)
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so i finally watched house's head/wilson's heart
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galacticlamps · 4 months
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ok I have A Lot of thoughts about the staircase confession (well really about Edwin's whole character arc, but all roads lead to rome) but for now I just wanna say that, yes, I was bracing myself for something to go terribly wrong when I first watched it, and yes, part of me was initially worried its placement might be an uncharacteristically foolish choice made in the name of Drama or Pacing or Making a Compelling Episode of Television but at the expense of narrative sense--
But I wanna say that having taken all that into account, and watched it play out, and sat with it - and honestly become rather transfixed by it - I really think it's a beautifully crafted moment and truly the only way that arc could've arrived at such a satisfying conclusion.
And if I had to pinpoint why I not only buy it but also have come to really treasure it, I'd have to put it down to the fact that it genuinely is a confession, and nothing else.
That moment is an announcement of what Edwin has come to understand about himself, but because it takes the form of a character admitting romantic feelings for such a close friend, I think it can be very easy, when writing that kind of thing, to imbue it with other elements like a plea or a request or even the start of a new relationship that, intentionally or not, would change the shape of the moment and can quickly overshadow what a huge deal the telling is all on its own. But that's not the case here. Since it is only a confession, unaccompanied by anything else, and since we see afterward how it was enough, evidently, to fix the strangeness that had grown between him & Charles, we're forced to understand that it was never Edwin's feelings that were actually making things difficult for him - it was not being able to tell Charles about them. 'Terrified' as he's been of this, Edwin learns that his feelings don't need to either disappear completely or be totally reciprocated in order for him to be able to return to the peace, stability, and security of the relationship with which he defines his existence - and the scale of that relief a) tells us a hell of a lot about Edwin as a character and b) totally justifies the way his declaration just bursts out of him at what would otherwise be such a poorly chosen moment, in my opinion.
Whether or not they are or ever could be reciprocated, Edwin's feelings are definitively proven not to be the problem here - only his potential choice to bottle it up - his repression - is. And where that repression had once been mainly involuntary, a product of what he'd been through, now that he's got this new awareness of himself, if he still fails to admit what he's found either to himself or to the one person he's so unambiguously close with, then that repression will be by his own choice and actions.
And he won't do that. Among other things, he's coming into this scene having just (unknowingly) absolved the soul of his own school bully and accidental killer by pointing out a fact that is every bit as central to his self-discovery as anything about his sexuality or his attraction to Charles is: the idea that "If you punish yourself, everywhere becomes Hell"
So narratively speaking, of course it makes sense that Edwin literally cannot get out of Hell until he stops punishing himself - and right now, the thing that's torturing him is something he has control over. It's not who he is or what he feels, but what he chooses to do with those feelings that's hurting him, and he's even already made the conscious choice to tell Charles about them, he was just interrupted. But now that they're back together and he's literally in the middle of an attempt to escape Hell, there is absolutely no way he can so much as stop for breath without telling Charles the truth. Even the stopping for breath is so loaded - because they're ghosts, they don't need to breathe, but also they're in Hell, so the one thing they can feel is pain, however nonsensical. And Edwin certainly is in pain. But whether he knows what he's about to do or not when he says he 'just needs a tick,' a breather is absolutely not what's gonna give him enough relief to keep climbing - it's fixing that other hurt, though, that will.
Like everything else in that scene, there's a lot of layers to him promising Charles "You don't have to feel the same way, I just needed you to know" - but I don't think that means it isn't also true on a surface level. It's the act of telling Charles that matters so much more than whatever follows it, and while that might have gone unnoticed if anything else major had happened in the same conversation, now we're forced to acknowledge its staggering and singular importance for what it is. The moment is well-earned and properly built up to, but until we see it happen in all its wonderful simplicity, and we see the aftermath (or lack thereof, even), we couldn't properly anticipate how much of a weight off Edwin's shoulders merely getting to share the truth with Charles was going to be, why he couldn't wait for a better, safer opportunity before giving in to that desire, or how badly he needed to say it and nothing else - and I really, really love the weight that act of just being honest, seen, and known is given in their story/relationship.
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ruvviks · 9 months
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Mikhail and Vitali were inseparable; when they weren’t studying or getting into fights, they would hang out at Mikhail’s place to smoke and get drunk on cheap rum and vodka, to then pass out in each other’s arms and sleep most of the next day away. They promised each other— no matter what would happen— they would never leave each other’s side. Yet after starting university and college respectively, they did not see each other for a little over six years, leaving them both heartbroken and wondering what went wrong.
by lucas expedidor // catch me if you can; eden // clementine von radics, from 'courtney love prays to oregon' // sam sax, cruising: a broken tiara // 'ceramic home' by heavensghost; quote from john murillo // 'something's changed' by laiikastears // i don't want to watch the world end with someone else; clinton kane // fortesa latifi, from 'the truth about grief' // audre lorde, the evening news // frank o'hara, biotherm (for bill berkson) // heading home; ruben // 'preface to a dream' by alessandra casini // tokyo; caroline kole // langston hughes, poem // haruki murakami, norwegian wood // julie buntin, marlena // by lute // by aleksandr popov // anyway; noah kahan // christa wolf, cassandra: a novel and four essays
#cp2077#edit:mikhail#edit:vitali#nuclearocs#nuclearedits#happy birthday to my two boys :^) yes they share the same birthday what about it. it's essential to their whole. thing#whatever it is. they're like soulmates but also they are NOT dating. i need you to understand that. because it makes everything funnier#you guys remember when i first introduced them here and people thought they were together. good times honestly#but yeah no vitali is officially dating vincent and mikhail is just their eternal third wheel. their relationship can't be defined#they also reunite of course but i LOVE emphasizing their grief. they didn't know they'd ever see each other again#and they've known each other since around age 12. imagine spending almost every day with someone who CHOSE you#and then suddenly not seeing them or talking to them for YEARS. what do you do with that grief. that pain#sure they've found each other back but what do you do with that. where do you put it. it makes me insane!!!#they both were so lonely in their own way. vitali getting lost in vices and crowds but ending up all by himself at the end of the day#and mikhail drowning himself in studying and pushing himself far over his limits just to distract himself from the hole in his chest#night city in my head is much more massive than what it feels like in game. like yeah it feels big but not. BIG big#and i think mikhail and vitali's story and them losing contact while only a district apart really emphasizes how like#how HUGE this city is not only in terms of actual land it covers but also just. how overwhelming it is. how it can swallow you whole#anyway if you've read all of this hi. wanna make out
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clowningaroundmars · 2 months
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i still cannot get over The Twins like.
imagine.
you have another version of you out there arguably living a life just as difficult as yours, if not more, that you can talk to at literally Any Time! and they're You so you basically already have half a convo down anytime you decide to pop on over via a portal
1610 and 42 stepping out of their respective portals side-by-side just to stroll out of an alleyway like nothin happened just going:
1610: LOUD SIGH
42: rough day too huh?
1610, brushing debris off of his shoulder: yeeep. another run-in with the rhino. again.
42: you didn't lock his dumb ass up like, last month? how'd he get out?
1610: don't know, don't care. so done with this week, i just wanna... i dunno. hibernate til spring 😮‍💨
42: man, what a mood.
1610: what happened to you? you look like you had a rougher day than me!
42, covered in visible bruises and cuts along with his bandages: mannnn... rougher week more like. well... rougher life. but. anyways.
they both nod at each other in Understanding
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thepersonperson · 22 days
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I think JJK going on break after the last chapter is a bit cruel. This is nerve-wracking. We still have 3 chapters left and so many things can happen there. 268 feels too good to be true and the title is weird.
I'm not sure what is the right translation and I don't have access to raws. Right now, it's 268 title is "Finale" or "Conclusion" but I heard from someone that it can be also be read as "Curtains".
If it can be read as "Curtains", then it could be a reference to "final curtains". The problem is JJK has its own version of "Curtains", right? Idk what to think.
Gosh I wish it was “Curtains”. The chapter title is 決着 (Kecchaku) which means settlement/conclusion/end.
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For example, at the end of an extremely brutal fight in Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, Jolyne screams “Kechakuuuuuuu!” (決着ゥゥーーーッ!!) (It's actually a small Jojo meme in the JP fandom.) This got translated as "Game set!"
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I love the localization they used for this since that entire battle was like struggling in arcade mode for a fighting game.
Anyways, in the context of JJK, especially since this has been a literal Sukuna Gauntlet and the previous chapter had the “Ringing the bell on a long fight.” editor’s comment, I don’t think there’s an ambiguous way to read Kecchaku. The Curtain/Veil kanji in JJK is 帳 (Tobari). (Though if there’s some fancy wordplay I’m missing please let me know.)
However…I would kneel before Gege if this was an elaborate trick by Sukuna—him giving Yuji delusions of a happy ending only to yank it away last second. It’s very hard to make characters feel familiar but slightly off on purpose for misdirection. That kind of tonal control is something I praise Umineko for. (Dungeon Meshi does it excellently for the shapeshifter scene.)
But that is pure copium I think. Sometimes otherwise good media just fumbles the endings. (Not an example of good media, but I was around for the Secret BBC Sherlock Season 4 Ending meltdown so I’m not too hopeful about a turnaround.) I personally blame the JP work culture/crunch since a lot of modern mangas have rushed endings due to burnout/unfair contracts.
I think the most heartbreaking examples of this phenomenon for me are The Owl House and Moral Orel. Those shows still stick the landing imo, but the creators are very open about how studio interference forced them to condense everything. You can feel that suffocation in the final episodes. Everything is just slightly off and you know it would be better if the creators were allowed their breathing room.
#Things that shouldn’t have activated my Jojo sleeper knowledge.#Moral Orel is really good btw. If you were raised Protestant it will come for your throat.#I never thought a little white boy would have my exact religious trauma.#But yeah. Everything is too happy right now. After getting through something that traumatic you don’t just bounce back instantly.#None of these kids were taught how to grieve properly. So them acting like the fight did nothing to them is…not something I like.#The tone should be more bittersweet not. ''Our sensei died violently for our sake lmao!''#This is something Yuji would feel guilty for. Both him and Nobara would cry a bit. Megumi would be trying to bottle it up.#I can say that with confidence because that's how they've handled previous deaths.#Yuji cried over transfigured humans ffs. Like why aren't these deaths upsetting him? (It would make sense if Gojo+Higu were alive though.)#The light novels did a much better job of the trio trying to be goofy through the pain.#You can tell they’re struggling but they still chase joy.#That’s a reason why JJK connects so well with me. Despite all the trauma they can still strive for a different kind of happiness.#This current tone is more like. ''Look you can just quickly get over it with the right mindset and go back to the way things were!''#Which completely contradicts the themes/characterization. And the massive tonal dissonance that creates... It has to be a fake out.#Or it’s just what happens when you crunch a creator. Guess we’ll see.#jjk 268#jjk spoilers#asks#jujutsu kaisen#jjk asks
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crimsongrimoire · 1 year
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im not sorry for the kind of person i will become when wriothesley gets released
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cashmere-caveman · 1 year
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Hanif Abdurraqib, it’s not like nikola tesla knew all of those people were going to die | Anne Carson, H of H Playbook | Richard Siken, Snow and Dirty Rain | Franz Wright, Heaven | Toby Whithouse, shooting script for Being Human S1E1 | Franz Wright, Heaven | Erin Slaughter, I Hope My Salt Lamp is a Weeping Deity | Richard Siken, Straw House, Straw Dog & My Country: The New Age, Episode 16
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#my country: the new age#nam seon-ho#seo hwi#listen guys (gn). the worms have been festering the dots have been connected the illness contracted etc!! this is an exorcism attempt#bro what if we had both been suicidal for years bc we just wanted everything to be over but we repeatedly saved each others lives#even when we were enemies bc even when we were fighting for different visions of this country we were still *each others* countries#and what if in the end we realized we were never meant to be apart in the first place and gave each other permission to finally let go#but gave our deaths meaning by sacrificing our lives so that everyone else could live in a country of peace !!!!#basically what if we went from best friends to enemies to allies to enemies to soulmates and died in each others arms and we were both boys#their dynamic is so. i wanna eat so much dirt i tunnel right through the earth and end up in argentina.#god. GOD. im like 5 years late but is anyone out there still insane like me in pain like me etc hmu#wait maybe i should put some warnings on this bitch uhhh hold on#blood cw#death tw#suicidal ideation cw#<- just in case bc idk how else to tag for the uhhh extremely normal mindset of both of them#i hope thats it? if i missed sth let me know! also if u read this far u'll get to see the business tags i forgot at the top lol#cavetext#mctna#nam seon ho#poetry#seonhwi#caveweb#also u would not Believe the fucking sleuthing i went through to find the source poem for that erin slaughter quote jfc#thats what i get for keeping incomplete notes ig :/#also ive found the franz wright poem as both 'heaven' and 'the heaven' so ?? who knows
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pain-is-too-tired · 11 months
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Am I the only one who's kinda getting bored of the "haha Percy is blonde like Will, the you're not my type scene is gonna be so funny" or whatever?
Specifically because Walker looks nothing like how I imagine Will?
Like yeah, he's blonde. But not the blonde I see for Will? It's a darker tone. Plus He does not have lanky cat stretched out in sun vibes sorry y'all
That, and Nico never specified he meant looks when he said Percy wasn't his type.
Cause if we compare Will and Percy they're different in a lot of ways.
Will's a healer, Percy's a fighter.
Will is described as laid back and appearing a lot more harmless then he really is. Why Percy is constantly being described as frightening and even godlike. He's a whole storm why Will's a cat stretched out in the sun.
Both are stubborn,but Will is a lot better holding in his more extreme emotions. It takes a lot more for him to be loud when going back and forth with someone. He can sound annoyed but he hardly ever sounds angry.
That and Will can calm down others like Clarisse, why Percy ends up matching them in attitude at some point.
Like I said, Percy's a fighter which often leads to impatience as usually in a fight its so quickly placed. You have to strike first before your enemy gets you. His adhd is a lot more hyperactive.
Will on the other hand has to balance patience and speed. Rushing can be dangerous, but you also can't be too slow or else chances of your patient dieing grows. It applies to how he interacts with others too.
And I honestly think that might be why Nico clicked more to Will. Will just has more patience to get through to him. He gets upset but he keeps his cool. Literally,iirc, they were in LITERAL HELL before they had their first true out right fight.
Idk why it urks me so much now. It was funny at first but it feels it's been beaten to the ground.
I think a lot it is also I feel Will is way too often chopped down to Nico's "hot therapist boyfriend". That y'all literally think of Percy was blonde that's all was needed to be Nico's type again. Like that's all that makes Will his type.
Heck, think about the fact Percy hardly ever defenseless. If he doesn't have his sword he has his powers.
Nico's thoughts on Will why he was literally going on about him in boo is that despite his harmless figure. Despite being a healer and not a fighter. Will rushes in to battle, even volunteering to scout on a enemy right after DELEVERING A BABY AT 14.
I think Nico found Will a lot more welcoming because Percy is just too much like him in some ways.
Sure, they can outsmart opponents, they're not dumb or completely dependent on their weapons and abilities. But without them they're a bit more unsure of their next moves. We see that Nico,despite being on the verge of dieing, still instinctively relies on his abilities. Though we don't see a similar case with Percy, his abilities is what makes him great enough to go toe to toe with literally gods. Nico's connect to death related abilities radiating from him was enough to scare back monsters.
Both need someone who isn't as use to being able to depend on weapons or godly powers strong enough to topple armies. They need someone to keep them grounded.
It's why Will and Annabeth click so well with their respective boyfriends. Annabeth constantly coming up with plans, she has only really her wits and a small blade to get her the upper hand. AND SHE DOES SO. I'm sure if Percy was in a situation where he couldn't use any of his abilities and either without his sword or couldn't depend on it as well, she would easily think of a plan and keep him from over doing it.
Will,like Annabeth, doesn't have the same powerful aura that his boyfriend does that keeps others literally backing away.
But he still managed to walk past Gemini without being stopped. I refuse to believe that he can't handle himself in battle like TSATS tried to say.
Anyway, really excited to see baby Will in the show in a few years fhdh
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304wv66 · 11 months
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10.20.2023 // gonna get bit by that thing
also bonus crop from the desktop wallpaper because i liked it, it made me happy 🥺
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thatoneluckybee · 7 months
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Bee,,,,,,,, I am ill. NyQuil. Dies
Anyway, your mailman never slacks off !!!
That.
That’s not mail. That’s.
Okay.
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Oh wowie!! (Never let me say that ever again.) Gressil and Raven from Ms. Freaky’s Instagram page!!! (I am anti Instagram, it is mean to me)
Raven not being a boykisser is going to ruin my whole career… I am dying… even more than I already was………………………………
When I tell you I RAN OVER TO THE SELFIE WEBSITE I DONT REALLY USE
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MORE CANON SEXUALITIES!!!!!
Also dearest mutual with no name.... you neglect the potential of a QPR.
I don't have the brain power to ID rn so if screen reader is being used or picture isn't loading: Ms. Freaky released two new artworks with the characters either holding a flag or with a flag on their cheek for their canon sexualities! GRESSIL is bisexual, Gladiolus/Raven is straight, Poppy is pansexual, Oak is bisexual, and Nightshade/Bella is a lesbian!
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curioscurio · 1 year
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Most of my sinus infection has cleared up besides the occasional cough and irritated throat but now this ear infection.... everything hurts can I please have a break before I have to go back to work just a day without pain so I can clean up my sicknest without feeling like ass
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mechanicalbowtye · 19 days
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read the scratch upd8. little too close to home
#tw vent#in tags at least#when i was reading hs like 3 ish years ago i related a lot to vriska and terezi cause i was in what i think was a really destructive#friendship qpp thing with my best friend online and a boy who liked both of us but mostly her.i was incredibly isolated irl as was my friend#and all my other online friends. i really should have seen that something bad could happen but i didnt and i got into a really deep#depression for like 3 months after but. my dearest friend girl decided to start befriending a 30 yo man and i. like an idiot. followed her#like a lovesick puppy even though all the warning bells were going off. we were in a gc with him that we texted in at all times of the day &#night and we shared selfies and dreams and our daily problems with isolation or hw or whatever. he got more and more creepy and my dearest#friend lashed out at him because she was scared while i sort of stopped talking as much because i was scared but. he still talked to me lots#in dms. he talked shit about the authority figures in our lives and isolated us from our ither online friends he made creepy picrews of me &#my friend getting married and he talked about moving in with us one day. we blocked him but sometimes he still tries to contact me. after it#blew up my friend left me and discord which is probably best and after my depression time i eventually got an irl friend or two but. i never#got over it. he did it to other people too we found out later. he always complimented me on being so sharp and talented and it was nice caus#it was really my first compliment from an adult who wasnt my family and. ig it got to my 14 yo head. anyways. the update made me cry. i had#read that it was bad and knew it would be bad for me specifically cause doc scratch always reminds me of that time in my life but. i didnt#think it would be that bad. i dont blame hs2 creators or anyone else and ig im glad i braved the storm but it was really painful to read#gonna go watch a more light hearted thing now.#if anyone sees this dw ill get over it#anyways. believe the warnings this update is very triggering and you can skip it if you want#glad i have like 5 followers rip
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rjshope · 9 months
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Just in case, i'm still here x)
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jiangzongzhu · 2 years
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fun thing that folks really apparently don’t want to acknowledge if we’re discussing canon Jiang Cheng and the thing I think people are truly failing to grasp in regards to fans of his and why they care about him. His actions throughout the story repeatedly, over and over again, belied his words. Yes, he has a harsh exterior that is used as an armor against this world that repeatedly took everything from him. He uses words as a weapon at times, but his actions say everything his words don’t.
Additionally, he fucks up. He doesn’t always do the right thing, but that’s the thing about MDZS, not a damn one of these characters were in the right 100% of the time. But he cares and he works hard to do what is right by his sect and his family and yes, at times, those two groups come in conflict and he makes tough decisions because of that, but regardless he still repeatedly shows his love.
And it may take an additional time through the story to see that, but the narrative supports that fact time and time again despite the fact that Wei Wuxian as the protagonist doesn’t see it (but their struggles in communicating and understanding one another’s actions and intentions is a whole different discussion).
And that’s not even mentioning the whole plethora of cultural context that is being ignored, but again. different discussion.
#not tagging this anything fun I just wanted to ramble#because man the “high horse” the folks are on as if fans of the character completely lack an understanding of him#or like we got our understanding of him from a fic here or there and some fanart#its got me bummed at 8pm on a saturday night#I love me a good murder kitten#See: both of my DnD characters or Qi Rong or Xue Yang#but I love jiang cheng for his complexities and his pain and his imperfections but also his unwavering strength and his heart#and I don’t particularly appreciate folks acting like this character I resonate with so deeply is just something#that we as a fandom have collectively hallucinated#and yes I’m screaming at a brick wall that won’t be swayed by anything I have to say#I’ve been in fandoms since I was 14 and I’m… much older than that now. I truly understand this is not a winnable fight#I just don’t care for the shitty insinuations being made#because while he’s my perfect baby boy who I love with all my heart and has never done a thing wrong in his entire life#he’s also the man who kept chengqing in perfect playable condition for 13 years#and had it on his person at guanyin temple despite only going there for JL#he’s the man who begged to be taken instead of his nephew when JGY had a guqin string around the boy’s neck#the man who took a knife for wwx after everything#and who was willing to sacrifice himself to the Wens for WWX knowing there was no good outcome to that choice
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miodiodavinci · 2 years
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HORROR HAS BEEN REMOVED LET'S FUCKING GOOOO
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