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bluetimeombre · 2 months

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✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ And I wouldn't marry me, either part 2

You were Azriel's mate, but it took losing you three times for him to realise.

[thank you for the love on part one, I’m so happy Azriel is getting the love he deserves!!!! This is another long one, another 6k. But I’ve learnt a new love for writing about him and i have so many ideas. This is a continuation and final part, part one here. Enjoy]

warnings: references to sexual assault and references to suicide. nothing explicit but please don't read if this is sensitive to you.

The third time Azriel almost lost you, he was pretty sure he lost a part of himself.

They'd all gone into battle, knowing that Hybern had the numbers to match and the advantage. But they'd all gone to fight in spite of that.

It had took some time for you to get the boys to agree to let you fight- you'd trained and grew up with all three of them but this was fighting on another scale. Although, if they were going, there really wasn't much they could say to get you to stay.

You were clad in Illyrian leathers just like them, armed with weapons and power.

The first battle was over quicker than you'd anticipated. Hybern soldiers surrendered, Tarquin drowned them on land. You'd suffered little, only falling on bed exhausted by the end of the day. Sadly, you were sharing a tent with Cassian and Azriel. It was like you were young again, all sleeping in the same room. It was a habit you'd done when you were young- all looking out and protecting each other.

The only difference was that Cassian snored as he got older.

But the next battle was worse.

It was bigger than last. Hybern's forces had doubled, seemingly at of nowhere, cutting their forces apart.

It was chaos, everywhere. Every corner there was fighting and bleeding and dying. There was pain all around you. Pain you felt like it was your own.

You used all your power, as much as you could to kill and protect. From the corner of your eyes you could see Azriel fight. Your Azriel, weaving in and out of people. Your mate. He was alive. And that was all you cared about.

But you didn't realise how much you'd been pushing herself and draining your power. Every time you stopped, you swayed on your feet, stumbling.

One of Hyberns men came for you as you were crouched and you barley blocked with your sword, rolling onto your back and slashing his arm off.

Not before he landed a sword in your thigh.

It had been deep burning and you yelled, yanking it out. Even with the wound, you kept fighting and fighting your way through until you saw a blaze of red and a familiar cry.

Cassian.

He'd been run through.

It was easy to push past exhaustion and winnow to his side, killing the man who'd been near him and any others that had been close enough. You fall to your knees next to him. 'Cassian, you prick.'

'You kiss your mate with that mouth,' he gasped. He was the only one who knew about Az and the bond. The only one you'd allow to make jokes.

You look down to his wound and gaged. Mother above, his guts were hanging out. 'No, no, no, come on, big guy, you have to stand.'

He groaned. 'Yea, don't think I can do that, sweetheart,' his eyes, lulled back.

You slap him in the face. Perhaps you wouldn't have felt guilt if it weren't for the way his eyes widened. 'You know I hate being called that.'

He laughed as his stomach and all its contents heaved out. Ignoring the pain in you, you hold his stomach, keeping him together. 'I promised Nesta i'd look after her,' he said. 'Please look after her.'

'Do it yourself,' you groaned.

Finally, Azriel came to your side and picked Cassian up like it was nothing, flying him to the tents. If only you still had your wings, you could have done it, saved him quicker.

Then, you were thrown back into the battle. Covered in his blood and yours, you fought through them all, slashing and killing like it was nothing. Like you had no reason to bat an eyelash at anything happening.

Eventually, it ended, but you couldn't even concentrate on who won or how much you'd lost. Your head ached, your leg was tied up in a bloody bandage ripped from your clothes. But none of that mattered.

Cassian was in bed, healing slowly. But he would live, everyone could tell. Especially with the way he picked fights. He argued with Rhys about throwing himself into danger, him and Nesta appeared to be having words with their eyes. Even Mor and Feyre argued. You were the only one silent with Azriel in the back. Too exhausted to even open your mouth.

That night, you tied up your wounds and fell asleep without changing.

It only got worse.

Elain- Feyre's sister and the most precious- was stolen from Hybern. You had only agreed to go and save her with a few selected others because your mate was in that few selective others.

It hadn't escaped your notice how he looked at her, was watchful over her like he once was with you. You saw the tick in his jaw at the news she was gone. You knew that this was the reason you hadn't told him. Knowing that he deserved someone like her, better than you. Kind and hopeful. You weren't. So the only thing you could do was watch your mate find love in someone else.

And you'd do it grudgingly but happy for him.

Azriel had took of with her. You and your high lady fought, fought through ash arrows and everything.

'You should get out of her, y/n,' said Feyre.

You groaned as an arrow skimmed your shoulder. Another had already got your hip. 'If you try to order me out of here, i'll be really pissed off at you.'

'I don't care if it gets you out!' she snapped, arguing like a real sister would.

'Yea, well- I was never one to listen to Rhys either.'

And Azriel was gone. Everything was fine.

You and Feyre ran, ran even as Tamlin defended you, ran until-

An arrow hit you in the back, straight to one of your old wing scars.

You tumbled, rolling on the ground as it broke and imbedded in your back. You screamed, in spite of yourself.

'You have to fly,' someone was telling you. Or saying it in general, frankly you had no idea what was going on. 'You have to take her.'

You rolled onto your stomach, groaning and trying to get yourself up. There was blood running down your arm, how did that get there?

'Y'n.'

You groaned, 'Azriel. I can't fly.'

'I know, I know- i've got you.' He picked you up, arm under your legs and around your shoulders.

'Elian, Azriel-'

'Feyre has her,' he told you. He sounded angry. Or afraid. Somehow his emotions were very easy to mix up.

'Feyre isn't strong enough.'

'She'll have to be.'

'You should take them, Elian-'

'I don't give a fuck about Elian right now, y'n.'

Just like that, he took off with you in his arms and your blood raining down on the camp of Hybern. You could barley hear anything over the wind... but you could feel it.

Something had tugged painfully at the bond, throwing you into a scream. Something had happened to Azriel. You twisted in his arms, finding gashing claw marks in his back from one of the hounds that had chased them down. His face was bleached white in pain, his hold on you tight.

Glancing around, you could just see Feyre in a blur of people.

'Azriel-' you gasped. He was in pain, so much pain.

He didn't say anything, just squeezed you tighter and looking ahead, barking orders as Feyre flew for the first time in need, in desperation. You remembered what that was like, trusting your life in them. But Azriel's wings, they were bleeding out. You remembered the pain. You'd go through it every day to spare him a minute of it.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

You and Azriel landed back in the camp in a blur of pain.

Even with him leaving a trail of blood, he managed to set you down like you were porcelain. You didn't cry out. You didn't yell for help. You threw his arm over your shoulder and supported him.

Nesta and Rhys rushed to Feyre.

You hated your brother for a long moment.

Elain wondered over, chained but whole.

Azriel moved from you, checking on Elian. You only managed to watch them as she kissed his cheek.

The pain came to you then. Your head, shoulder, back. You turned from the crowd of family. Elain moved to hug her sister, Rhys stayed at Feyre's side.

Thesan, someone you barley knew as more than a healer, came to you first but you pushed him away, pushed him to Azriel. 'His wings. Heal him, or i'll rip you to pieces.'

He didn't have to be told twice.

You stumbled your way to camp, to your little tent. You didn't share it with Cassian anymore as he was still healing and Azriel would be a while- needing healing of your own.

You collapsed on the bed, promising to look after yourself- just after your nap.

You were so fast asleep you didn’t even hear Azriel come in and sigh at the sight of you…

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Azriel was fighting when it happened. Specifically, when it snapped.

Mate. Mate. Mate.

No, he wasn't completely healed. But he had to fight. He wouldn't push himself, he knew that would be stupid. But he wouldn't watch as everyone fought. As you fought. He'd hardly seen you. He knew your back would be in pain. He knew you'd be in pain and you were still fighting, so far from him and out of reach.

He was thinking of you when it snapped.

Mate. Mate. Mate.

His soul sang it, his heart rose with it.

His shadows whispered it.

Mate. Mate. Mate.

y/n.

And the first thing he felt over the bond wasn't happiness or love. It was pain. It was death.

Mate. Mate. Mate.

In spite of the pain in his wings, how he'd been told not to fly, he did. He jumped into the skies, soaring over armies and dead to find you. He followed that pain, he followed the bond until he found you.

You, lying in your own blood. Again.

He fell next to you, his power eradicating anywhere near you. They dissovled, the ground cracked under him and his syphons shone in raw power.

'y/n?' he held your body, shaking you. Blood, so much. A sword had torn through your gut. 'Don't do this to me.'

Mate. Mate. Mate.

You cough, a thin stream of blood rolling from your lips. 'Azriel?'

'You're mine,' it was the first thing he could bring himself to say. 'You're my mate. Y/n. You have to hold on, ok? I'm gonna-gonna get you to safety.'

Something like a laugh escaped you, your body wracking with it. 'Of course, finally snaps for you as i'm dying.'

Snaps for you. Mate. Mate.

She knows, his shadows sung. She's known.

Azriel called out to Rhys in every way he could. 'We're gonna be fine. We're gonna be mates, y/n. You have to live, you understand?'

'Not really.' your eyes flutter shut.

'No!' he yelled, shaking you again.

'What's happened?' Rhysand landed next to him, blanking when he saw you in Azriel's arms, bleeding to death. How many times did this have to happen? How many times would you throw yourself into danger?

'She's my mate,' Azriel repeated. He tested it out loud, speaking it to the mother. How cruel was she? to give him this then try to take her away. Well, the mother wouldn't get that chance. Azriel would fight her if she tried to lay a hand on your life.

'What?' said Rhys.

'My mate,' he all but growled as Rhys got closer.

He put a hand on the back of Azriels neck, a hand on your head. 'We have to save her, Az.' he knew all about mating of course, knew that Azriel wanted nobody around her. But this was too save her. 'She's my sister too, the last sister I have. I care about her to.'

Azriel wanted to throw a thousand insults his way but refrained. If not because he was high lord, but also because you were dying.

They got you to safety, Azriel carrying you through to a tent.

'Y/n?!' Cassian rushed over, seeing you in his brothers arms, bleeding out and unresponsive.

Azriel pushed past him, setting you down on the bed. 'Get everyone, every healer now.' He had no idea who he was trying to demand, but he couldn’t watch this, couldn’t see you in.

You were still in your bed. Behind him, Feyre rushed to her mate, wrapping her arms around his torso as your brother stared at you in muted horror.

Azriel was leaning over you, sitting on the edge of the bed. ‘She’s my mate.'

'What?' Said Cassian, ‘She told you?'

Azriel felt the world stop around him. Not did you know about the bond and hadn’t told him, you’d told someone else? Cassian? His hand stilled in brushing your hair back, his shadows coaxing you instead.

Rhysand spoke what Azriel wanted to scream. 'You knew?'

'She-She told me,'

Azriel had always had an iron fist control on his emotions, as relied on to be spy master, he had to. But his patience was hanging on by a thread. You were still bleeding out and nobody had come and Cassian knew. Cassian knew about his mate before he did.

His shadows caressed you and, leaving you in the coolness of their touch, he leapt up, marching around the bed toward him.

Rhys was quicker, a hand on Azriels chest to stop him. 'Calm, brother.'

'Calm?' He seethed. 'When-how long have you known?' He shouted.

Cassian breathed out, pushing his hair back . His wings were tucked in behind him. 'She told me, before she went under the mountain.'

Even Rhysand let him go, blowing out air and throwing his arms over his head as Feyre gasped.

Azriel stumbled, a hand to his chest. His shadows were divided between him and caring for you. 'Fifty years,' he gasped.

You’d known for fifty years- possibly longer and hadn’t said a word.

He was panicking, his breath escaping him. His shadows settled uneasy around him. And the only person who was capable of calming him was laying unconscious.

Thesan burst in, knowing the injured already and working on you quickly.

Azriel almost launched at him, just for touching you. The reasonable part of him knew he needed to touch to heal, but the part that was your mate wanted him dead.

Cassian held him back, physically.

Azriel glowered at him. 'I wouldn’t touch me if i were you, brother,' he practically spat the words.

Rhysand left Feyre with a kiss on her cheek, coming to Azriel who was looking over you on the other side. 'Az, you need to rest-you’re hurt, too, remember?'

He shook his head, staring down at you. Mother above you were pale, so pale. 'I-I can’t feel anything Rhys, I can’t feel her through the bond.'

'My sister is a fighter, she’ll make it through.'

Azriel scoffed. His shadows were caressing up and down your arm. ‘Don’t pretend you’ve ever cared about her like a brother.'

Rhysand inhaled sharply. This was just fear, he told himself. 'Azriel.'

'No,' he said, his finger brushing back your hair. 'You only care about her when she’s dying and all y/n does is worship you- ever since you were children.'

Cassian tried to advance, 'Azriel, you wouldn’t be saying any of this if y/n wasn’t hurt.'

He laughed, bitterly. 'No, I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t have to. I’d bite my tongue. But your sister is dying and the last time you cared was the last time she almost died- it killed her to lose her wings and you were never there! And you teach your mate to fly right in front of her!'

Rhys growled. ‘Don’t bring my mate into this!'

‘You’ve brought mine into this!' He yelled. 'Everything she does is for you. Working for you. My mate followed you down to the mountain even when you didn’t care.'

'Of course I cared.'

'Then why did she feel so alone down there!'

‘How would you know, Azriel? You weren’t there!'

'Because I know her, bond or not. And you’ve been otherwise occupied.'

Cassian moved between the two, holding them apart. 'None of this matters to y/n does it.'

Azriel blankes them all, settling next to you. He vaguely heard Cassian send Rhysand and Feyre away. He felt him longer before he felt him leave.

And then all Azriel could feel, was you.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

You felt pain first. The steady thumping of it through your body. It started in your leg, numbing it. Then, her back ached- a familiar pain you'd felt before. It sent panic through you before you realised they can't take your wings twice.

Then, it was in your gut, stinging. Just the thought of moving was hurting- aching.

There was a coldness around you, draped over like shadows. Shadows...

That's when you felt the tug that you'd neglected to feel for more than half a century.

The bond. There was finally something tied to the other end.

The shadows around you must've known you were awake as they grew frantic around you.

You opened your eyes, slowly, afraid to what you may see. Afraid to the eyes you'll have to meet.

Azriel was sat on a chair next to you, bare chested with only bandages around him. Immediately, you were at a disadvantage. He was looking at you, dark eyes pouring into yours as his hands curled around shadows.

'What happened?' you asked.

'You were run through,' he said, voice wavering.

'Oh.'

'You're my mate.'

Your eyes flickered away, staring at your tent. 'Oh.'

'That's it?' he whispered. There was some heart-break tainting his voice. 'You're not gonna say something?'

You pulled the blanket over you, daring to move to sit up. He shifted, but his shadows helped you. 'What do you want me to say, Az?'

'Why did you tell Cassian and not me?' he asked. 'Why didn't you tell me, for fifty years?'

'It's-it's not a big deal.'

'Not a big deal?' he all but seethed. 'I'd say finding your mate is a pretty big thing, y/n. It's the person to spend the rest of your life with.'

'Can we not, do this now?' you winced, as the words left your mouth.

'You're right, maybe we should wait another fifty years to bring it up when you're dying.' you've never heard him be so cruel, you'd never even argued with him before this.

'I wasn't dying,' you mumbled.

He scoffed. 'You had an infected wound in your leg that you didn't tell anyone about. An ash arrow was imbedded in your back. Imbedded! You didn't see anyone about it and then- you run into battle and get yourself stabbed.'

'I didn't get myself stabbed!' you argued, your temper rising above all other judgment. 'I didn't rush out in there, wanting to die!'

'I held you as you bled out!' he yelled, standing up from his seat. You were swinging your legs over the bed, ignoring every twinge in your body. 'Do you have any idea what that's like? Not even to hold you as you die in my arms the first time but the second. And to know this time, I was holding my mate?'

You bit down on your lip. He had to use the word with such care and love even when angry. You could feel it. For once, guessing his emotions wasn't needed as you felt it all. The taunt anger in him, the pull of anxiety and above all else, the weight of his love.

Azriel walked around you. 'Please, you have to tell me. Why didn't you say something to me? Why wouldn't you tell me you're my mate? Am I that repulsive to you?'

'What?'

He gulped.

You shook your head as he knelt in front of you, shadows pooled around the two of you, as if they were trying to hold the two of you together. You took his hands, holding them and let something like love flow down the bond. 'You are the most beautiful thing in this world. Something better than me. I wouldn't burden you with that.'

He rose his gaze to you. 'Burden me?'

'Do you think i've enjoyed lying to you?' you ask, finally finding your words. 'Do you think I've liked being your mate and never being with you? That I left you for fifty years and thought of you every moment of every day, all day long. That when I come back I wonder if you or Mor had grown closer? Or if Elian would finally tell you how much she loves you? It's been eating me alive. But it's a small price to pay.'

Azriel grasped at his words, chocking on them. 'Elian is nothing to me, nothing.'

You pushed yourself up, using his shoulder to steady yourself before you move around him. 'Why? Have you only just decided that because I’m your mate? That’s not how it should go, Azriel.'

He was following you around your tent as you slipped on armour and leathers over your night dress. ‘I want you, only you.'

'Because of the bond?'

'Because I’ve always only wanted you!'

You laugh. 'No, you haven’t.'

'If we’d talked about this maybe fifty years ago you’d know that!'

You shook your head. Perhaps a part of you didn't want to believe him and all those wasted years at your fault, but you didn't want to believe his words either. Because what did that mean? That he loved you and wanted you. But that seemed just as impossible to you. How could he want someone so wrecked who'd done nothing but run away from her feelings and does nothing to make anyone happy?

'I don't want you to feel like that,' said Azriel, approaching her. She thought she'd spoken aloud before she realised he could feel everything that was hers. She'd only ever had to shield her thoughts from her brother- and he rarely sort her thoughts. 'Please, please-' he took your shoulders, turning you around and gently resting his head on yours.

You could feel his warm breath over your lips. You almost lost all resolve, with him that close. You'd never been so close to him, close enough to touch. To kiss. To know finally what it mean to have that deep connection that everyone was meant for.

One person in the whole world to belong to.

And he was stuck with her.

'Azriel-'

'Whatever you're thinking about yourself, i've thought about me a thousand times. And ever since we were kids you've always stopped me from thinking that. You've always told me what I was worth,' he whispered. His hands were wondering down your arms, sending shivers down you. He could've been doing it on purpose, distracting you. 'Why won't you accept it for yourself?'

You gulped down every uneasy thought. 'Because you're good, Az and i'm-'

'You're everything.'

'I'm not,' you look up at him, his own face blurry from your tears unwilling to fall. 'I'm not a fighter, i'm afraid of pain. And I could never be a leader, because i'm scared of losing people. I'm terrified about it half the time. Why do you think I followed Rhys down to that stupid party that I knew I wouldn't come back from? Because he'd do the same for me? We both know he wouldn't. But what would losing him mean for you? or Cass, or Mor? I was a coward and I wanted to hide from all the pain his leaving would have caused.'

Azriel shook his head, words sinking in. You were comparing yourself, to warriors like him and Cass, to the high lord- your own brother. 'It was unbearable without you. Maybe if it was just Rhysand i'd have still been able to be spymaster, because that's what he needed. But when I realised you'd gone to, it ruined me,' he admitted. 'I didn't care what you would've wanted, because you weren't here to tell me.'

You rub at your forehead, the tension creating a pain in your already aching body.

'And to anyone who made you feel inferior or worthless, i'll kill them,' he said. It was a shine of the real Azriel. The one who made a promise and never broke it.

You smirk. 'Can't kill the high lord.'

'No,' huffed Azriel, like it was a mild inconvenience. 'But I sure can punch him in the face.'

You laughed at that and Azriel smiled. He'd cracked you.

But your amusement dropped quickly, he felt it like a penny dropping. He let go of you as you turned away, wiping at your eyes. He didn't want to see you cry, didn't want to be the one to make you upset. He only wanted to make you feel loved.

'This isn't how I wanted this to go.'

Azriel suddenly felt conscious of himself. Maybe this wasn't so much about what you felt, maybe it was more about what you felt toward him. 'You really hate the mating bond that much?'

You look over to him. 'Being your mate is my greatest honour. But I don't want you to love me just because you have to.'

'It's not that-'

'And I know you're gonna keep saying that.'

'Until you believe me,' he assured her. 'Even if I have to tell you every day until I die.'

'I can't ask you to do that.'

He smiled at you, a heart-breaking smile of love. 'You haven't.'

You open your mouth to say something, but you're interrupted by Cassain poking his head through the tent flaps. The rest of his whole body was hidden, only showing his bronze face and hair framing him. There was a sheepish smile on his lips.

Azriel huffed. 'Cassian.'

'What? It didn't sound like much love making going on.'

'Mother above,' you sighed.

'What?' whined Cassian. 'I'm just saying, didn't sound like I was interrupting anything.'

'Personally I didn't know he was capable of saying that many words,' said another voice, familiar and dull. Nesta.

You frown. 'I'm sorry, is the whole camp out there.' You storm out, without Azriel to stop you.

He let you get away, again, and now there was no way he'd get you to accept the bond until the battle was done.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

The next time you and Azriel spoke, the war was over.

Elian had stabbed Hybern, Nesta had delivered the killing blow, to the head. And your brother had died.

For those few minutes of his death you wanted Feyre weep for him as you stood paralyzed, unable to move. This was the brother you worshiped, the one you’d follow to the end of the world. Did he know that when he went where you could not follow?

Feyre had done everything she could, she begged for his life back. And when her wish was granted, you were collapsing on his other side. Tears of joy in your eyes that Rhys wiped away.

Your family, safe.

Everyone seemed happy to return to Velaris. Home. Scars were left over everyone, fears and pains. Some wore them better than others.

You'd thrown yourself into life. And avoiding Azriel. Suddenly there were many friends you'd neglected that you needed to take dinner with, or so many spontaneous Rita nights with Nesta.

And none of it escaped his notice. The steady thump of the bond still thrived inside of you, his shadows followed everywhere you went, even loitering in your room.

If he was doing it in an attempt to annoy you, then you weren't gonna break first.

After a particularly harrowing Rita's night, the only thing you wanted to do was sleep in for the rest of the day, hide away from everyone and everything. Call it your coping mechanism.

Alas, there was no peace as your curtains were thrown open, light spilling in and burning through your eyelids.

'Knock it off!' the shadows had never bothered with waking you up before- it seemed they'd picked the worst time to start.

'We need to talk,' said a voice that certainly wasn't a shadow.

Rhysand.

You groan, rolling over. 'Can't you talk to me when i'm not hungover.'

'And when would that be, sister? you're getting as bad as Nesta.'

You throw your pillow off and at him, but he dodged it easily and with a smug smile. 'I hate it when you call me that.'

'What? When I compare you to Nesta? Clean up your act then.' He stood over your bed, his arms folded over his chest.

You glare at him. 'I meant sister.' You shuffled up, brushing your hair back.

Rhysand frowned and perched himself on the edge of your bed. There was something he wasn't saying, and you watched it weight heavy on his shoulders. 'You know the last time I was in your room you were throwing glasses at me and yelling at me to get out.'

'Well, don't give me ideas.'

His lips curled into a smile of amusement before he turned solemn again. 'Do you love me, y/n?'

You hadn't expected that. Your hangover could only get worse, your head swimming with possibilities as to why he was asking. And nervous, you were nervous. Maybe you'd never said you loved him out loud but surely your actions were enough of a tell. 'You're my high lord and my brother, of course.' you shrug it off, as if it was nothing.

The shadows trailed up the bed, as if sensing your anxiety.

Rhysand glanced over at you. 'Do you think I don't love you?'

You hesitate, chewing at the skin of your gum.

'Because I do. I do love you. You're my little sister, how can I not?' he muttered. 'And I didn't know you felt like that.'

'It was just sort of... obvious,' you said. 'I was never your sister, not really. I always knew that. You'd never see me like that so, I gave up thinking you would. But you're the only family I have.'

'No, I'm not,' he denied. 'Y/n, everyone in this house loves you. They're your family. And i'm sorry- i'm so sorry if my actions have ever made you think different.'

'Why now?' you ask, eyes screwed up looking at him. 'Why are you saying all this now, what's changed?'

He shook his head, strands of his hair- the same as yours- falling over his eyes. 'You almost died, died on that battlefield and I-I wasn't the first one there. Granted, it was your mate that reached you first but I, I wasn't there quick enough.'

You meet his gaze, his purple eyes sad in a way you'd only ever seen under the mountain. 'You died.'

'And as I was dying one of my deepest regrets was not calling you sister enough,' he shifted closer, taking your head in his hands as if you were a little kid. 'You are my sister. Full flesh and blood. Full love of mine. You are my family. After everything you've done for me. You were right, I needed you under there, when there was nothing good to keep me grounded, but you. My little sister.'

You were sure you were tearing up in front of him.

'You'll always be my sister.'

You laugh. 'Maybe I should get stabbed more often.'

'No,' he said seriously. 'I don't think Azriel would like that very much.'

The mention of him changed the tone in conversation, changed the very beating of your heart.

'What's going on with you two?'

'Oh, I see,' you tease, 'talk to me above sister and brotherly relations just to get in my love life. Not a good look on you high lord.'

He laughed. 'No, it's not that. I just care about the two of you, a lot. And you both deserve to be happy. And I think you'd be happiest with each other.'

You look down, twirling the rings on your fingers.

'Would it be so bad to try to love him?'

You shake your head, smiling as a tear rolls down your cheek. 'I don't even have to try. Feels like i've loved him forever.' his shadows climbed up your arm, leaving Rhysand to smile at the affection.

'You'll work it out,' said Rhys, leaning over and kissing the crown of your head.

Your door was thrown open, startling the two of you.

Azriel stood there. For his entrance, he didn't at all seem that confident when he stood in front of the two of you. His hands didn't know how to hold themselves in front of him.

Your brows rose. 'Were you listening at the door?'

'Azriel,' scolded Rhysand with a stupid grin.

'Get dressed,' he said simply to you. 'There's something you need to see.'

Without much room for argument, you kicked them both out and dressed.

You'd grudgingly let Azriel hold your hand as he led you through the woods. You'd winnowed in at an illyrian camp before he took you through it and into the woods close by.

It was the same camp you'd first met Azriel in. The oldest where you'd all become friends. You'd asked what you were doing there, but he was quiet as he led you through, helping you over roots or breaking twigs from the trees so they didn't hit you.

'Azriel, to any other girl, you leading her silently through a woods without saying anything would be a bit suspicious,' you tell him. His shadows trailed behind the two of you and his hand was secure in yours. You knew not to be scared, but you were still cautious.

'I wouldn't show any girl this,' he said.

After another half hour of walking, the two of you stumbled across a small hut. It was a tiny thing really, made out of twigs and sticks, hay and mud. It looked like something a child was capable of making.

Azriel paused in front of it. He let go of you hand and reached for the door. He was as tall as it and his wings had to tuck in tightly behind him.

Hesitantly, you followed in.

It was just as small as it looked and dirty, like it hadn't been touched in years. Cobwebs hung low (his shadows quickly tried to bat them all away for you) there was dirt and hay all over the floor. Glasses were dust filled and left around with a hundred other things. Some looked new, others old.

And yet, strangely familiar.

'I made this place,' said Azriel.

You looked back at him. He was hunched over a large box that was overflowing with things. 'You?'

'The first time my brothers picked on me, I came to these woods, working on this for days. Every time things got too much back then, i'd come here. I've been coming back for years.' he glanced at you, a sheepish look on his face. 'I've never showed anyone this before.'

You look around the place in new perspectives. The shadows settled around the place. You pictured a little Az, running here and hiding from his brothers. Did he feel alone? Did he feel un-loved? You were so enamoured by it you didn't realise he'd settled on the ground, pulling out things from his box.

'This is your glove, the one's you were wearing when we first met. You took them off to beat up some kid who was being mean to me. You didn't go back for them, you didn't even care.'

He said, pulling out a pair of red wool gloves. In spite of the hut, they were in perfect condition. Pristine. You remembered first meeting him, remembered the little soldier who'd been horrible. Those gloves wouldn't go anywhere near your hand now.

Azriel went in again. 'This is the empty glass jar of the cream you used to help my burns. Here's a book you read to me when I couldn't flip the pages myself. The notes you'd leave when you had to go back to camp. The flowers you picked for me and gave me for my birthday. Dried and stamped from every time you gave them to me.'

You stood, in shock as he kept taking things out.

'A terrible drawing I did of you when I was young. A locket of yours that broke and you never wore again. Stamps from our first theatre trip. Empty bottles from our first night together in Rita's- and Cassian's too. A letter you wrote to me when I was on a mission. A black ribbon from your hair, you used to always wear it with these things. Honestly, the amount I have in here,' and he pulled out several, of varying shades. Black, white, grey, red, dark green. All yours.

Azriel wasn't done. 'A page of annotations you did in one of Rhysand's books. A copy of your favourite poems. A coaster from the first time just you and I went to dinner. Here's some stones from when I first taught you to skim them. A quill that I used to use to write you letters. An old ring of yours is here too. Here's the first dagger you got me. It's too precious to me to be used to kill.'

Tears were falling down your cheeks as you watched him pull them all out and explain them in depth. There was more but the sight of it all was becoming blurred through your tears. The bond felt heavy and beautiful in you.

Azriel finally put the box down and fell to his knees in front of you. His hands came around the back of your thighs, holding you there as his eyes looked up into yours. 'Don't you ever think I don't love you, when I have loved you since we were eleven years old.'

You stutter on you breath. 'H-how?'

He rests his head on your stomach, looking utterly at your will and completely in love. 'How could I not?'

Slowly, as you could not move too fast, you settled down on your knees across from him. His hands moved up to your arms as yours went to his cheeks, brushing back his hair.

'It was always going to be you, wasn't it?' you mumbled. 'How could it be anyone else?'

Azriel kissed you then, finally. His lips were as soft as they'd looked, as you'd always imagined. His hands drifted to your waist, finger tips digging into to hold you close. His hands were strong, but his lips were gentle. He pulled away, only to groan in need before reaching for your lips again, harder, desperate.

His teeth bit down on your bottom lip, tongue sliding in to feel every corner of your mouth as his hands wondered around you, trying to grip onto any bit of you he could. Your arms wrapped around his neck, bringing him closer. Close enough to consume, to breath in.

You pulled back enough to catch your breath, arms still around his shoulders. 'Mother above, am I gonna make you the best meal of your life.'

But that could wait. For now, you'd settle for a dusty floor in the little house in the woods.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Taglist: @tothestarsandwhateverend @darlingbravebelle @lil-lupa @haileycannotcometothephantom @fairywriter-oracle @isa1b2h3 @tele86 @thebeautifulmysteriesoflife @unleashthelion @naturakaashi @aurora1115 @sirens-and-moonflowers @azriels-shadowsinger @willowpains @crazylokonugget @abysshaven @anuttellaa @wishfulwithwine @one-big-fangirl @harrystylesfan2686 @charlotteintumbleland @mellowarcadefun @starseedsamurai

#azriel x cassian x reader #azriel x you #azriel x reader #azriel #acotar #rhysand #cassian #nesta archeron #feyre archeron #azriel x oc #azriel x elain #azriel x female!reader #azriel x original character #swifties

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flowershines · 3 months

Text

viagra?

Summary: they accidentally take viagra thinking it was ibuprofen so now they are horny and still in pain. (legal line)

Warnings: Smut, viagra, pills, pain, boner, teasing, public boners (lmk if i missed any)

Not proof read

Heeseung:

Walking into the dorms he came home from practice with a pounding headache that just wouldn’t go away no matter how much water he drank or how many times he tried to ignore it, it just kept getting worse and worse by the minute. “Baby where is the ibuprofen?” He asked looking towards the couch to where you were laying while looking at your phone, “On the shelf next to the other bottle.” you said as you pointed to the bottles on the shelf in front of him. He grabbed the bottle took 2 pills out got himself a glass of water and walked over to you as he took them, while he laid next to you as he just waited for the medicine to kick in hoping the pain would go away soon enough. Over time while he was watching his phone he started to feel a different type of pain, he moved his phone to the side a saw he was painfully hard in his pants as it was uncomfortably twitching as his cock ached for attention. You heard him squirming next to you picked your head up “Are you o-” following his eyes you saw the situation he was in, “Random boner?” he turned to you “I don’t think so usually I still think about sex when I get a boner.” then it clicked in your brain that there were was a bottle of viagra next to the pills on the counter. “Oh shit.” You told him as you picked up the bottle and showed it to him, “That was viagra, Y/n I took 2.” he exclaimed as his eyes scanned the bottle in his hands. “Please help me.” You stood up and got the actual bottle of ibuprofen and handed two pills to him “I will just take these first.” you said as you placed them in his hand. “Thanks baby.”

Jay:

Laying in his bed his ankle would not stop aching and throbbing, during practice he was doing the choreography for Still Monster and twisted his ankle in all the wrong ways. “Princess can you please get me some ibuprofen for me please.” he asked as he leaned upwards so that way he was looking directly at you, you nodded to him as you left his room headed to the counters and grabbed the bottle of pills along with a bottle of water. Walking back into the room you handed him both things as you got into bed with him and laid down as you snuggled into his chest, his eyes started to struggle to stay awake he turned to his side table then noticed the bottle and how the labeling didn’t look how it normally does. Reaching his arm out he twisted the bottle to the front as it read in big bold letters ‘viagra’ he turned to you, you had no idea you looked down at your phone watching Tiktok’s of your boyfriend at his most recent concert. “Princess?” You lifted your head up to look at him as you smiled from ear to ear being unaware of everything that was running through his head, he held up the bottle and showed you what it said causing you to instantly shoot up from your spot and immediately start apologizing to him. “I’m so sorry please don’t be mad, I didn’t know. The bottles look so simila-” he cut you off as he pulled you into a kiss to shut you up, he pulled away and didn’t say anything but just looked into your eyes for a minute before saying “It’s okay, i’m not mad. Just can you help me out when I do get hard, and please get me the actual right bottle of ibuprofen?” you instantly nodded and shot up and out of the bed booking it to the kitchen as you grabbed the other bottle then handed it to him.

Jake:

His back has been killing him for the past week and all that everyone has told him was ‘take some pain meds’, ‘go get some sleep’ or ‘take some time to relax’ but nothing was working no matter how many hours he spent relaxing or how many’s days went by that he would take medication. Nothing. Rolling over as he turned to you on the bed he whined as he kissed you on the forehead “Feeling any better?” you asked as you looked up at him while you hugged his chest he responded as he shook his head then mumbled something into hair as he hugged you tighter, “Want me to get you anything?” you asked as you slowly backed away from his hug he whined from the loss of your body on his. “Medicine please.” Nodding you got up from your spot and started headed to the kitchen as you heard a faint, “Thank you gorgeous.” looking for the bottle you were not aware that there was a bottle that was filled with viagra but had them in a ibuprofen container to hid them from the members. Looking at the bottle you saw the back of the bottle that contained the ingredients seeing ‘ibuprofen’ on the label you thought you were in the clear and bring the bottle with you to the room, you handed him the bottle as he took two pills out and placed them on his tongue, swallowing them then proceeded to fall asleep as he waited for them to sink in. His eyes slowly opened as he saw you sleeping figure on him while his cock twitched against your upper thigh, he shook your arm as he slowly started to wake you up out of your deep sleep “Please help.” he asked desperately looking down as his cock throbbing against his sweats.

Sunghoon:

Walking into the dorm and heading straight to his room for some medicine his wrist started to feel worse the more seconds passed by, you were on the couch as you waited for your boyfriend to watch a movie with him. You started to scroll through the movies displayed on the screen then once you find a movie you think is good you would shout out the movie name which he would respond saying that he was okay watching it or he wasn’t, but every one you liked he said he wasn’t in the mood to watch. So you just figured you would wait for him to come back and have him scroll through and see what movie he would want to watch, he started rummaging through his drawer that was right next to his bed as he saw the bottle of pills on his side table he picked up the bottle then places the pills in his mouth. His water was already on the side table next to it he walked into the living room with the glass of water in his hand that was not in aching pain, he finishes the glass of water that was in his hand and puts the empty cup in the sink as he walked over to sit next to you. Finally being able to lay down he placed his head on your lap while you handed him the remote so that way he can pick the movie, minutes passes by as he scrolled through the channel, the water started to sink into him as the ache to use the bathroom hit his abdomen. Placing the remote on your thigh he sat up and headed towards the bathroom then locking the door behind him, starting to undo his belt he looked down and noticed an insanely hard bulge aching against his jeans. He left the bathroom with his belt unbuckled walked up to you and stood in front of the screen as he made your attention turn to him, you looked at him confused as he started walking towards you while placing a kiss on your lips. Pushing onto the couch below you he started to thrust his hips up into you and said “Help me out pretty, I think i accidentally took the viagra.”

Sunoo:

“Can you hand me my water please.” he asked as he walked over to you during his and the members water break, you handed it to him while Heeseung walked over to both of you and started a conversation talking about how he can’t wait to go home and sleep because his feet hurt. “My legs are throbbing they hurt so bad.” Sunoo said as he rubbed the back of his calf’s “I have ibuprofen if you want it.” Heeseung offered as he pointed to his bag with his thumb, Sunoo nodded. “Please.” Looking over you saw Heeseung rummaging through his bag just before he took out a bottle, opening it then walking over to you guys as he took the pills out from the bottle and placed them on your boyfriend’s hand. “Thanks.” He said as he swallowed the pills with the water in his hand, Heeseung nodded as he placed the container on the side next to you. The choreographer called them back over to start teaching them the next part of the dance causing most of them to silently groan from constantly working hours after hours, the members were tired and so drained so it slowed their dancing down. The choreographer said how they needed to pay attention more, you placed your phone down next to the bottle of pills that Heeseung brought over. Hearing your ringtone you went to go pick up your phone but looked at the bottle as your attention was immediately focused on the label saying ‘viagra’ then it’s ingredients, you head shot up looking at your boyfriend as his face displayed a clear emotion of anticipation. “May I use the bathroom?” He asked the teacher as she nodded to him, his pace was fast and steady he walked over to you and grabbed your wrist pulling you to the bathrooms with him. Locking the door behind him he said “Heeseung told me that they were the wrong pills.” he said looking down to his pants as his bulge was clearly visible, looking up back into his eyes he brought his hand over his pants starting to slowly rub himself over his sweatpants. “Please?”

Jungwon:

Laying in the living room with the members you watched from afar as your boyfriend played a video game with Niki as they competed against each other, as the more members came in the less space their was on the couch. Jungwon pulled you onto his lap to make more room for his hyung, “Jake- hyung can you get me some ibuprofen?” your boyfriend asked from behind you as you turned to face him “You okay?” you asked as you rested your head on his shoulder. “Yeah just my stomach.” Lifting your head to look at him “Nauseous?” he shook his head “Just hurts, i’m okay though.” kissing your forehead he turns to you and kisses your lips then returned his gaze to the tv in front of him. “Which one is the ibuprofen?” Jake asks from the kitchen causing Jay to yell back “It’s the one in the white bottle.” a faint ‘ok’ was heard then followed by the sound of water being poured. Jake walked back into the living room and handed you the things for Jungwon as he didn’t have any free hands to hold anything with, pausing the game you turned to him and gave him the pills and water. Niki hit playin the game as Jungwon handed you back the cup, your boyfriend was tense from Niki beating him and overtime hasn’t even noticed himself getting hard not until he felt a pain start to form from his aching cock. He lifted up his head as you turned your around looking back at him as he now knows that you know, he huffed out air as the pain he was in just wasn’t going away no matter what he would do. As the round came to an end he gave Sunghoon the controller “Play for me, i’ll be back.” he said as he grabbed your hand and lead you into the bedroom. Shutting the door behind you he was cut off “Can you h-” you nodded onto his lips as you pulled him into a deep passionate kiss as you gripped his hard dick through his pants.

#smut #fluff #enha x reader #enhypen smut #heeseung smut #jake smut #jay smut #jungwon smut #sunghoon smut #sunoo smut

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wolfiesmoon · 4 months

Text

What a fate

Ran x good girl! reader

this is a part 2 to my fic "i can't sleep", dont worry i'm feeding ur families they will no longer starve. apparently people are really into ran considering how many notes that fic of mine got (and who can blame them honestly)

unrelated but i cant believe it took me this long to get into housewife radio by ghost i love the horror vibes because of course i do

You've had a turbulent few days recently. Ever since you agreed to do that stupid dare Ran hasn't left you alone.

He did promise to do so but you didn't think he was actually serious about "making you his". How could you let this happen?

Things turned out completely opposite to what you expected, though. Instead of dragging you to his gang meeting to beat the crap out of you, he's taking you there to threaten his lackeys that if they even so much as lay a finger on his girl (you), they'd feel hell on earth.

You suppose that it's nice that he wants to protect you but you feel extremely out of place and uncomfortable at a gang meeting of all places.

Your parents think you're studying at a library right now. Somehow, you feel like you're commiting a crime.

You also met his brother at that meeting.

It seems being a good-for-nothing delinquent runs in their family. You feel sorry for their parents. If they even have them.

"Wow, I would've never thought the nerd would be your type." Rindou teased Ran. Actually, maybe it was both of you he was teasing.

"She's the one that kissed me first." Ran smirked at you.

"You're the worst. Both of you." you furrowed your brows, not finding either of them amusing in the slightest.

"Your girlfriend hates you, man. Personally I would not put up with that." Rindou seemed disinterested, checking his nails as he said that.

"I am not his girlfriend, either!" you defended yourself but Ran just looked at you like he pitied you and Rindou looked like he didn't believe you.

"Right, okay, if you say so. You two have your lover's quarrel on your own. I'm going elsewhere." Rindou just casually left, leaving you all alone with Ran in an abandoned storage unit. Oh boy.

"Umm, I should get going- ack!" you felt your wrist getting grabbed, preventing you from leaving. There's your only exit up in smoke.

"Leaving so soon? But we haven't even had our fun yet." Ran smiled at you and you honestly felt scared at that moment. Oh no, you shouldn't have yelled back at him so daringly just now. Now he's going to beat the crap out of you and drop you off in front of your parents doorstep as a warning to never mess with his gang again.

He leaned in closer and you braced yourself for the pain, but instead of that you felt his lips on yours.

Kissing...?! Again?! Well, atleast it's better than a punch to the face... You can't believe it's come to a point where you're glad to get kissed by Ran.

But still, does he have to kiss you in the least romantic place possible? Even if you did have feelings for him you'd totally find this moment cringy.

"You suck at kissing." He comments heartily, pulling away.

"I'm not the one who kisses a new girl every day. Maybe I actually have some self-respect." You crossed your arms. He was your first kiss after all.

"Every night is an exaggeration. It's like, every week." You couldn't tell if he was joking or being serious, even if you saw his expression.

"Oh, wow. Glad to know that I'll get cheated on in about 3 days. Way to make your 'girlfriend' hate you less."

"I'll stop for you." He smiled.

"Uh huh, whatever." You rolled your eyes.

Though, his kisses are actually kind of making you.... No, no! Don't fall for that! You can't believe you almost admitted that you'd fall for him if he kissed you more.

"How's it going with your new boyfriend, girl?"

"God, do not call him that." You held your forehead in frustration.

"I think he's taken a liking to you." Your friend nudged you, pointing at Ran who was sitting on the other side of the cafeteria and smiling at you as he ate.

"Great." You said sarcastically, immediately looking away when your eyes met.

"See? It ended up well. Now you have a hot bad boy boyfriend." Your friend kinda wished she'd done it instead of daring you.

"Didn't I just... ugh! I don't think my parents would agree with you." You placed your forehead on the table, groaning. "You date him if you want a bad boy so bad. But I hate you for dragging me into this." Your voice was slightly muffled.

"Yeah, we'll see. You'll be the happiest couple ever in like, two months."

You raised your head, looking back at Ran once again. You're in quite the pickle, aren't you? The next thing you know, you'll fall for Haitani Ran.

How scarily exciting.

"Hop on." Ran stopped on his bike in front of the library. How he knew you had a study session there today? Don't worry about the details.

Another motorcycle ride... You feel like you barely survived the last one.

"My parents expect me to be home in 10 minutes." You crossed your arms. You weren't lying, either.

"Who cares? Live a little." Ran rolled his eyes playfully. Clearly he isn't going to let you back down.

"I'll do it, but only if you keep it to ten minutes." He was right, backing down isn't your thing. You wonder how much resisting him you could get away with if you weren't special to him.

Special to him... huh.

"Killjoy." He insulted you lightly as you sat down in front of him. Again, neither of you are wearing a helmet. This is the last time you'll let it slide.

"I prefer to not get scolded endlessly." You held onto him tightly because you knew what was coming and didn't want to almost fall off the bike again. He felt proud when you held onto him like that.

Like you're finally his. To be honest, he didn't really care much for you until you kissed him out of nowhere like that. How bold of you, the top-of-the-class rule stickler. But he likes that. And that's why he decided to make you his.

Isn't the fact that he lets you ride on his motorcycle enough to see that?

You felt the wind blowing against your face as you set off. Now that you feel it again, it doesnt feel too bad. It's kind of nice, actually. And Ran is warm, too.

The scenery moves past the two of you and strangely, you feel really calm and at peace. It feels like your parents don't exist in this moment and that you can just... live, and feel the adrenaline of the high speed.

This is so scarily exciting.

"You look relaxed." He said, looking down at you.

"I am. And look at the road, will you?" You scolded him but your voice was still relaxed. You look up at him again.

He actually isn't that bad looking. You kind of understand why some girls would fall for him. You, on the other hand...

Are unfortunately befalling the same fate.

He didn't say anything but you had a feeling he knew you were staring.

"You look like you're in love."

"What?! How would you even know?!" You looked back at the road, hiding your face from him. You can't help but get defensive of such a thing.

God, you hate that he's right.

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hidden-poet · 4 months

Text

President Snow; part 2

2/3

DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT

summary: After lucy gray there was you.

warnings: unco/dubco, power imbalance, dark!Coriolanus, possessive!Corirlanus, Dark themes, mentions of death, punishments not fun-ishments, P in V, Spanking, face fucking, oversimulation, SA, breeding kink, unfaithfulness, she/her pronouns. reader is a homewrecker (sort of), unedited.

I would like to apologize to god for witting this.

Part 1 here

Part 3 here

You're were scrubbing the floor when your head mistress calls your name.

“President Snow is demanding his tea. He wants it brought up at once” she exclaims.

"its hardly seven. He takes his tea in the afternoon".

"never mind that, go you insolent girl, go" the headmistress sho's you away.

He quickly make his tea, burning yourself in the process before you stood knocking at his door.

You wait for him to say enter before you do.

He doesn't look at you as you mix his tea and place it in front of him.

"is that all President Snow?"

He doesn't answer but takes a sip of his tea. You take that as a no and turn to leave.

"Y/n" he calls, his gaze still on the paper in front of him while he hold out his hand.

You don't keep him waiting placing you hand in his palm. he flips it so the soft of your hand was showing and he examines it intensely.

He blindly reaches for his ruler in the draw, drawing it out and twirling it around his hand. You wanted to pull away from his touch but knew better. Instead you focus on your breathing. Trying your best to control the fear you felt.

You heard the ruler coming down before you felt it. Yet a gasp left your lips at the pain. You tug back in pure instinct but his tight hold disallowed any true movement.

It comes down again and you roll your fingers in, pressing on the stinging skin. The ruler comes down a third time across your fingers and you let out a shout.

he makes small taps against the top knuckles of your rolled fingers and demands you open your palm.

As you do another harsh strike stings across the base of your hand.

"Forgive me, President Snow" you cry.

'For?" he taunts laying the ruler flat upon the assaulted skin.

"Not receiving your permission to leave the room"

This time you do manage to tear your hand free as the strike landed. You cradled your injured hand against your chest and looked at him with wide eyes.

"what did i tell you about your place" he eyes the floor next to him.

You sink to your knee's and Coriolanus pacified with this throws his ruler on his desk and goes back to his work.

You sat there uncomfortably for hours. Only rising occasionally in the first half hour to make him more tea before sitting back upon your heels like a statue.

-------------------

Coriolanus sat at his desk with his head resting against his hand while he stares at his mahogany desk.

His work had long been done but he remained. What had he to go home to? an large quiet space for him to sleep. Home life was a façade. He only lived with his wife and children for the public eye. He was a family man to his people. A man who rules with a Irion fist to keep his and their family safe.

But when he returned home late at night, he returned a stranger. The children were kept quiet and hidden by their avox nannies, and Clemensia bored him with talks of social feuds and latest fashion.

Before you, it didn't bother him. A boy who had nothing became the man who had everything. He used to relish going home to a huge empty apartment, filled with the finest things just for him.

But now when he went home it felt like he only waited to return to you.

He images you now scurrying about the manor, trying to avoid him at all costs. He liked that in a way he was always on your mind like you were on his.

He hated to go home and give you the peace of mind.

He had thought about moving you to the home estate. Keeping you chained in his bedroom, waiting for him. You would come with him to the office on busy days lead by a collar around your pretty neck.

But no. He couldn't have you getting airs about yourself. You weren't chosen by him. You were simply his.

A slave. Only slightly higher than a Avox. It was important that you knew your place. Living here amongst those with the same standing would ensure that you knew that the small favors that Coriolanus granted were marvels and not something to be expected.

You plagued his mind but that were your power over him stopped.

He wondered if you thought of him now. If you hid in your bed waiting for the announcement that he had returned home for the day. Were you worried that he could call for you again, or did you give yourself a false sense of security that your duty to him was done for the day.

He looked at his watch. 7 o'clock. It was the maids turn for dinner.

Would you be sitting there unable to eat in worry? Should he interrupt you as a reminder that he is the one that truly feeds you. None of them would dare eat in his presence. He pondered going down to your eating quarters and wondering around.

You hadn't eaten the scraps he offered you during the day. Too good for them. Yes, he would teach you a lesson. You would sit there with the smell of food under your nose while he took a leisurely stroll around the room. Examining things that he had no interest in so he could watch your squirm in your seat. Perhaps he would knock over your bowl on the way out. You would come to him tomorrow morning starving. He bet he could get you to eat out of the palm of his hand.

With this thought in mind he takes long powerful strides across the vast space. Logically the servants quarters was the furthest from the precedential office that the articture could manage.

It was quiet. He didn't encounter another personas he strode across the wide rooms. The maids were last to eat for the night. Everyone else had fallen asleep from a hard days work. It was for the best. There was no one to warn you of his arrival.

He practically leaped down the stairs to you. Reaching the large oak doors, he halts just as the light creeks open from it.

He hears laughter. Laughter despite the dire circumstances they find themselves in.

He peers in and looks for you. He finds your easily, having know your height, and stature well.

You were smiling as you talked to your friend. You nudge her slightly as you laugh. He had never heard you laugh before. Never seen a smile grace your lips. And now here you were giving them out freely to people you owed nothing to. You owed everything to him and only offered him a slight nods and trembling touches.

He felt angry, jealous. He wasn't sure which. But the outcome was the same he wanted to tear into the room and grab you by your neck.

But he was a man of great restraint. A display of his brute strength would only bond you further to them. Instead, he would allow them to turn on each other, helped with food shortages and longer days.

People of their status should hold no laughter in their bones.

Do they think the Snow house was filled with laughter during their desperate times.

He closes the door, and leaves the estate to go home.

Only to pace the study in his own home, your smile burning his brain. he had taken all of his restrictive clothing off, leaving only his pants and loosely buttoned shirt.

You were talking so freely with those around you. You barely spoke in his presence. yes sir, no sir.

does he not offer you enough intellectual stimulation for discussion. Should you not field your questions through him and not those who went to school to lean how to shine shoes.

He dashed to his desk and pulled out a communicator to his head peacekeeper at the estate. He was to put a muzzle on you tonight. You were to sleep with it, wake with it and shower with it. Only he was to free you from it.

Only the beeping back saying it would be done could lull Coriolanus into a state that allowed him to sleep.

------------

He rushed to work the next day. He shooed away the avox who brought him his morning coffee, focusing on pulling on his clothes. His dressed simple in a blue dress shirt covered partially by a black vest and matching pants.

He made no greetings or goodbyes as he passed his family being served breakfast and they offered none back.

The first thing he does is call on you. Demanding that the headmistress send you up with his tea as soon as possible.

He then sits impatiently until he hears the knock on his door. He doesn't tell you to enter as he normally does but opens the door himself.

His dick hardens at the sight of you. Your tired eyes are trained on the tray but his are glued to the muzzle in-between your teeth. It was red and cylinder in shape pressed between your teeth with a mechanism that weighed the cylinder down. Effectively trapping your tongue to the base of your mouth. You had a choice of rolling you tongue uncomfortably to the back of your throat where the cylinder would stronghold it. Not allowing for you to push your tongue froward. But it looked like you had allowed it to take natural action.

"Have a good night, Petal?' he sneers as he takes the tray from you. He places it on the table you knocked over weeks ago, leaving it there as he turned back to you.

'Come here and i'll take it off"

You practically slammed the door shut in marching over. Partly because you knew he was going to make you turn around and to it regardless and partly because the whole ordeal was embarrassing to you and you couldn't bare the thought of yet another servant seeing you in such a state.

Coriolanus grips the key he received from the head peace keeper and your arm in the other. He pulls you flush against his chest despite it being easier if you faced away. You feel his breathe against your ear as he unlocks the pad lock.

As soon as you hear the click of the lock you step back as far as his hand leashing your arm would allow. The contraption falls to the floor, and the key drops with it. You rub your jaw, surprised it still had any movement.

He towers over you, his eyes unmistakably on your face.

"Smile" he demands. Your lips spread into a thin smile.

"With your teeth" he directs trying to get as close to the one he saw last night as he could get.

Your teeth poke unnaturally out, and your defince angers him.

He pulls you head back by your hair, his other hand grips your sore jaw harshly.

"how hard is it for you to do simple tasks"

He walks you backwards with his hold until you reach his desk. He pushes you on top of it. Sharp objects dig into your back. He feet were still on the ground while yours dangled between his legs. You could feel his strength as his body kept you in place. His suit fit him well but hid his muscular physique behind the fine cloth.

"smile like you did last night"

You were not usually in the habit of looking him in the eyes but the shock of his words had your stare directly into his.

You shakes you when you do nothing but stare.

"smile!" he repeats.

You try your best to a genuine smile across your face.

He slaps it off, and tears swell in your eyes.

"smile" he repeats and you display a happy demeaner.

he slaps you again, reinstating his wish.

You take it to mean keep smiling as no further direction was given. So you smile through his hits.

again and again he brings his hand down upon your cheek. No longer having to request a toothy grin.

After a particularly harsh slap you could no longer keep your tears at bay, and your smile could not shine through your wails.

'smile" he demands again but you could no longer pull it across your face.

"i can't, i can't" you beg.

Your chest heaves with heavy breathes and pushes against his.

He places both his hands beside you and pushes off the table. You lay there as he takes his seat to your left.

"what are those lips good for then?".

Contrasting with his earlier touch, he places his warm hand gently on the side of your face that was not assaulted.

You don't look at him but could feel his icy stare on you as his thumbs enters you mouth. swirling around your tongue. You thought about biting down but he would surely cut yours off in retaliation. Instead you do nothing but stare at the celling as he brings his thumb in and out of your mouth. he waits for you to dry most of your tears.

you knew what he wanted. what he always wanted. Knew that it was inevitable. you weren't stupid.

he takes his thumb out for the last time and tugs you towards him, off the desk. You comply and automatically sink to your knee's in front of him.

"Your place" he sneers, brushing his wet thumb across your cheek.

You don't move as he free's himself from his trousers. even if you made it to the door, which you doubt you could, what then?

He grips the back of your head and leads it to his cock. You gag and he pushes you further.

You still had a lot to learn but he would get you there.

You thought you would suffocate between his cock and your tears. He showed you no mercy. Your inexperience could offer him little pleasure, and he was in no mood to teach you. Instead using your warm mouth rather then letting you use it. He would take his time to teach you when he was feeling more patience, right now he needed release.

You struggle against him, trying to push back from his thigh's. he growls as he releases you, leaving you gasping for air on the floor and he sweep his arm across the desk clearing it.

Your breathing was deep but no longer swallowing air as before when he yanked you up and across his desk.

He man handles you until you were upside down on the desk, you neck just hanging off the edge in front of him. You could have been saying something, you weren't sure. Perhaps just yelling but your lips looked so inviting.

He yanks your hair down, keeping your lips in place as he shoves his cock as far as it would go. Gaining great leverage from your position.

His moves your head slightly to meet him as he rocks his hips down. You squirm and kick for a while before going completely still. All your focus going on controlling your breathing.

He groans and shudders feeling great pleasure at your misfortune. Daughter of a once great man brought down to be something for a returned son of a great man to keep his dick warm in. You were so beautiful. He had always thought so.

You were a few years his junior at the academy. He would see you in the halls and in the library. You would pay him no mind as you went about your business. But he would watch you every chance he got.

You were a hindrance to his good grades. He had a plinth prize to win and here you were sitting quietly doing you homework while he was trying to study. You used to image you under his desk while he trained to be the best. In the library he imaged you simply keeping it in your mouth while he read as a silent 'I am proud of you'. In the privacy of his war ruined room you would suck (his hand would tug) as he did his practice test. Your teeth would bite down gently for every wrong answer (his nails dug in). And now here you were. Him president of Panam, You competently at his whim.

He always knew you going to a prestigious academy was a waste of time and effort. He had just thought it would be because you would marry a wealthy man and never use your learnings. He never thought all those years that you were only slightly better off then him. That only a few years later as he took control of a country that had chewed him up and spat him out, he would be offered the opportunity to not only have you but own you.

You didn't recognize him of course. You detested the hunger games, refusing to acknowledge it even as you peers played the game. After that Highbottom had taken great pains to cover Coriolanus triumph of lucy grey. You were trapped in your own trouble, why would you care about a boy in a higher grade. Even if he carried the name Snow.

Now he was the only man you worried about and he took great pride in it.

He had waited a long time to have his cock in your mouth, and he wasn't about to let you ruin it for him. he had waited since he first brought you. Thinking that perhaps you would offer in exchange for embellished food rations or scented soap. But you never did, instead choosing to engage him in a game of cat and mouse.

With his cock now shoved down your throat, he felt foolish. It felt amazing and he had denied himself a slice of heaven for no reason. Neverminded you would make it up to him.

he moans as he comes, his fingers loosing all strength in your hair.

They regain it as you try and move. He keeps you in the same position with his limp cock pouring out down your throat.

You have no choice but to drink his cum. Only when he felt it all gone does he allow you to get up. He puts himself away, a job further reserved for you, while you gasp upright on his desk.

You sputter and cough with reded eyes and spit all around your mouth. You looked a mess and in his mercy he gets you a glass of water from a nearby table.

You eye him as he approaches. You make no move to take the cup from him knowing he wouldn't give it.

He pets your hair back from your face as he feeds you the water which you gulp down.

"tomorrow I'll teach you how to take it, but today we have work to do so pick up my desk and take your spot on the floor".

Coriolanus moves from your space to place the cup back to its station and then moves back to his chair. Watching you as slip off the desk, reorganizing the items on the floor. You cry silently as you take your seat upon the floor, the same spot in which you were assaulted just moments before.

Coriolanus doesn't look at you while he completes his work but the school boy in him cheers. Under his desk, on top of his desk, down by his feet. he could have you any way he liked.

-------------------

It was not long after that he grew tired of your mouth, no matter how skilled it was getting, and wanted to see how it would feel to be buried in your cunt. After your first night together, a memory he often replays in his head, you became more defiant.

Most nights he loved it. He preferred the fight to get you nestled between his legs. He had earnt everything that he had, why should you be any different.

He had gotten a doctor to examine you and place birth control in your arm, and you had attacked the poor man. Raking your nails across his face. Coriolanus caught you before you could attack again. His old peacekeeper days coming in handy in both his reflex and ability to subdue.

It seemed his allowance of your fight had strode the fire in you. Your behavior had reflected poorly on him in front of the doctor, and he had taken to cuffing your hands behind your back until you admitted you were wrong to attack the poor doctor. You ate dinner like a dog, occasionally Coriolanus would feed you bits of bread or meat from his own dinner, but most of yours went over the side of your plate or over your face.

Still you would not admit you were wrong. The Doctor had poked and prodded at you for hours. Treating you sub-human. Barking at you to sit still, stop complaining of the pain in your lower regions from presidents Snows roughness; he would get to that area when he would get to it.

he wouldn't allow you to go to the toilet until Coriolanus insisted that such a breck was necessary. But it came at the cost of your lunch break. He had finally satisficed himself of his examination of your upper body (perfectly healthy, and Coriolanus puffed out his chest in pride) before finally reaching the source of your pain.

"you can choose your lunch or i can take a look at what's causing all of your complaints"

You chose to lie down and spread your legs for him.

Coriolanus propped you up on two pillows and feed you fruit from a nearby bowl. Promising you cake once you returned home which you never got after the turn of events.

You wince as the doctor inserts something harshly into you, and Coriolanus kisses the top of your head. How cruel was the doctor that Coriolanus was seeming like the best man in the room.

He allows you to sit up and makes a backhanded comment to Coriolanus that you were a delicate women.

You showed him how delicate you were by launching at him in your hospital gown.

A good last use of hands, you decided.

that belief wavers as Coriolanus pounds into you from behind while you are pinned across his desk. unable to push yourself up to relieve some pressure or grip the ends of the desk.

"president snow wowed in that ensemble today. Didn't he look handsome everybody" the crowed cheers through the television. To be far, he did look quite handsome, even you thought so. His outfit highlighted his broad shoulders and tiny waist but allowed him to keep an air of masculinity about him.

"He's got to be the best dressed president we have ever had" Caesar exclaimed.

"He's the best full stop, son. Productivity from the districts is up, wealth is spreading around the capital. Restoring this great country to what it once was before the war".

With Lucky signing his praises on national TV, you could feel Coriolanus pick up the pace behind you. Edged on by the words in the way the having being handsome did not. You guessed he heard it all his life.

His hand on your binded wrists keeping you still tightened as he hips bucked into yours. You thew your head down on the table unable to see the tv clearly anymore due to the jolting of your body as he slams into you.

"President Snow, we salute you".

He came undone. Only bucking his hips weakly a few times as he finishes spilling into you.

As he pulls out he slaps your bare ass and sits down. Using your chain on your writs he pulls you off the desk.

He huffs and puffs gaining his breath back as he maneuvers one of your legs around his waist. He lines his cock up with your entrance and pulls on your hip into your seated in his lap and around his cock.

"Just sit there quietly Petal, while i get some work done".

You had no strength to hold your body up right away from him so you let yourself rest upon his shoulder. You bare chest against his.

As he moves to gather his work that was disputed when you laid across it, you could feel his cock move inside of you. You let out a frustrated moan when it tickles a spot you like.

He sh'ss you. A large, warm hand going to the Centre of your back to keep you pressed against him as he reached for a pencil.

He left the tv on and you're not sure if that was for your benefit or if he wanted to see if his good work would be talked about again. Either way it provided you with a source of entertainment often denied.

Some times he could give you a book as you sat upon bedding he provided by his feet. The back of what only be could be described as a dog bed was curved so you could rest your back. If he was really swamped with work he would get you to read and summarize documents for him.

But since your trip to the doctors you could sit and think about what you did.

The tv was a nice change from your own thoughts which were mostly hateful. Even if you couldn't see what they were doing from your position.

In the moments were he would need to stop and think about what he was doing, he would drag his hand softly up and down your back as he contemplated. It almost lulled you to sleep.

-------------------

Your hands were freed in order to help him dress for the Gala. Racks upon racks of clothing filled the offices. Lines of polished shoes

A take away blind in the corner was set up for him to undress behind. He wouldn't have bothered with it if it had just been you and him, but at least ten of the highest capital stylists buzzed around the room, with more coming and going.

His last outfit got someone fired. He reminded him of his peacekeeper days and one look in the mirror had him tearing it off.

"What do you think of this one?" he Stood in front of the tall standing mirror and

"very distinguished" One of the stylist remarked. She wore a pink wig that was nearly the size of her.

"I wasn't asking you" he snaps, eyeing you in the mirror, waiting for a response.

"Very nice" you comment.

He rips the jacket off his shoulders, "You have said that about the last four"

Coriolanus returns to the blind and whines like a child.

"very nice, very good! telling me you like them before you have even looked".

You did not need his anger upon you when he was already in a uptight mood. The next one you would take your time to examine. ohh and arr over him. You were ready for him to just pick one after being at this for hours.

He reemerges in thankfully something that wasn't going to be a hard sell. The suit was white and tailored to his measurements.

the vest buttoned with small black buttons to his left hand side rather than in the middle His wore a black high necked dressed shirt under it. He had deliberately left buttons undone for You to do.

A stylist hand you the matching jacket and you drape it over you arm as you approach him. You stand between him and the mirror and started with the buttons on his waist coat.

"Very nice, Very good" you joke but his frustrated stare doesn't soften under you.

'I like this one a lot" you admit. You go up to the buttons around his throat and he holds his head up high, "You look very presidential".

The stylist mutter in agreement and you can see Coriolanus physically relax now that he has chosen an outfit.

He help him slide the jacket on to get the full picture. Brushing his shoulders so the material sits right, you take a step back and watch as he fiddle with buttons and then his watch. Wondering if it went with the suit. You assured him it did.

He didn't look so scary when acting like a teenage boy going to his first prom.

The calm is ruined when a peacekeeper enters the room and hands him a small box.

"From Tigress Snow, sir".

Coriolanus is silent as he pulls a red rose out of the box. Its clipped and pinned ready to go upon his chest. He stares at it before ripping the glued pin from the stem and turning to face you. He places the rose behind your ear, bending to whisper in it.

"i shouldn't feel so anxious. You'll be there with me after all"

You knew that you had nothing to wear for such a event, and that you didn't need to.

Coriolanus had a wife and kids. He Couldn't parade you around a party while asking people to dig deep for this years hunger games. What he did in the shadows wasn't to be held against him. Many capital men favored the taste of young maids. But what he brought to light he had to own.

You knew that you would be hidden in one of his spare rooms in the house. What you would be doing while his family entertained guests escaped you. You just hopped that he didn't bring any visitors when he called upon you at the end of the night. And you hoped clemensia was none the wiser. Fucking her husband at work was one thing but fucking her husband in their matrimonial home was another.

-----------------------

What he had planned was far worse then you could image. Peacekeepers had taken you from the estate and taken you through the back entrance into his home. Where a maid met them at the door and lead them to the function room that was set up beautifully.

Coriolanus was no where to be found and you wondered if the maid was right to lead you to a room just off side where the party was going to happen. But with two peacekeepers either side of you, you made no comment.

You realize it had been correct when she unlocked the door, showing a padded chair with restraints. The room wasn't very big, only fitting the chair a length away from the furthest wall, and two lengths away from a comfortable looking square chair and a small circular table.

You fight them as they strip you and secure you to the chair. But being twice your size and well fed, it barely hindered them. One of them gagged you so you couldn't make any noise, while the other double checked your restraints.

They left and the maid locked the room again. You wanted to cry but it seemed like wasted energy. The chair wasn't terribly uncomfortable, you knew that the worse was yet to come so you wanted to save your strength for whatever little you could do.

It was a while before the door was unlocked again. You had just started to hear music through the walls when Coriolanus entered ready for the party. He was quick to close the door and careful to block as much of the opening he could with his back.

You yell at him although its muffled.

"Petal. So glad you could make it"

He makes his way over to you, his eyes roaming along your body.

"pity you wont actually be in attendance".

he moves something from the corner, a stand with a head you could just see as he picks it up. positioning it between your leg, he then lowers the head directly pressed into your clint, and turns it on. It vibrated and rolled in a circle. causing you to jump from the sudden movement.

He spits into your cunt for lubricant and your almost grateful as the machines rolls over you pearl. It was only slow but the dryness burned.

"But I think between the two of us. You'll be the one having more fun".

he comes back up to you again, his eyes hovering over yours so you couldn't avoid him.

"Now you keep track how many times you cum for me"

He presses a quick kiss to your forehead and then left to enjoy the party as the devise rolls around and around. you buck your hips trying to take it off your sensitive clint but the straps over your hips and thigh deny any true relief.

round and round it whirls, the noise hidden behind loud music and louder convocation's.

Your first orgasm tears through you but the machine never stops, and it massagers you through it. Your hips buck up against it. the extra wetness takes away some of the pain.

you wish you could kill him.

your second one takes longer to come but hits twice as hard.

You hear the party outside but they don't hear you. You focus on the sounds produced and not the overstimulation. You listen to the footsteps, and the laughter. Even hearing the names of some of the guest.

Someone had just began to complain about the duck when your third organism spilled from your body.

By the fourth or fifth one your body ached. You were thirsty and sore, your jaw ached and your legs Shaked but the machine kept going.

You had lost count, never minding your instructions, by the time that the machine switched pace. It would vibrate like usual but be separated by a second's still. It was edging you to your next orgasm and you weren't sure if it was a mercy or a curse.

You prayed that there would be an explosion from a rebel bombing or a guest would knock a pipe in the bathroom and flood the floor. Anything to end this fucking party.

Round and round it went against your soft cunt.

The party did end of course and Coriolanus re-entered the room. No longer checking over his shoulder. The house must be empty of guests.

You were relived to find he came alone. Only a small white box in his hand. he doesn't share his toys.

he was in no rush to free you but stood watching you with a curious gaze. You beg him. Even if he couldn't unmudle the words, he knew you were.

He takes a handkerchief from his breast pocket and daps your perspiring forehead. With the handkerchief returned, he goes to the other end of you and gets a close up look at the machine rolling against your sex.

"do you think you could handle one more?" he asks and you shake your head furiously no.

He laughs at this going to take a seat. he rids himself of his box and jacket. Placing the former on the table and the latter on the floor.

'of course you can".

You farrow your eyes at him, and he stares back unbothered.

He takes out a small tablet from his jacket pocket and taps it a few times. You realize it controls the machine as the brief second pauses stops altogether and the rolling speeds up.

he seems pleased as he watches you pull against the restraints.

You could feel the next one coming as the knots begin forming in your belly. You yell once more, and Coriolanus kneads his cock through his pants at the sight of you.

You feel it pulse through you, causing your whole body to jump and squirm from the tension.

"there it is, the finale".

The tablet is pulled out again and he stops the machine. You whine from the pain as he pushes the machine back away from you.

It was over as he untied you. You were grateful.

He leaves your writs tied as he bends over to your face. He only used one hand to rid the gag from your mouth.

"Now can you tell me how many times you came?"

You didn't think it actually mattered so you guessed, "eleven"

"oh the machine says twenty-one".

was he getting notifications on his tablet while he mingled among the elite society? what did this mean for you now?

"too bad. I had cheese cake for you if you had gotten it right".

He pulls back out of your face and unlatches your wrists.

"you can suck my cock as a consolation prize".

he goes back to his chair and waits for you to ready yourself. All of your joints ached from being held down for so long. You felt ditzy from lack of food, and to top it off you had a dull ache between your legs that you were sure was going to be hell for you tomorrow.

But he had the power.

So you wombled off the chair. To your surprise he didn't rush you. He just sat patient for the first time in his life, eating your cake with a plastic fork in small bites.

You do eventually make it over to him. Your hands fiddle with the buttons and zipper of his pants. His hips shift slightly in anticipation.

If you did good, it was most likely that he would reward you. a plate of food, a warm bath. You would take anything.

You kiss along his member, small slow kisses from the top to the base. He continues to chew his cake, watching you.

You take only the tip into your mouth, swirling your tongue around the top. You tug his pants down further with the help of him lifting himself up so you could get his pants around his ankles.

You thank him by sliding your tongue along to his balls and popping one in your mouth. he makes a surprised sound as you suck on his balls. Normally you wanted the job done and tried your best to quicken the process but tonight you wanted to tease him in a manner similar to his.

He felt no need to instruct you like he normally did even if he could clearly see what you were trying to do. The student had finally become the master.

You stop sucking on his balls and retract to place a kiss on each of his hips. He grips you hair. In your mouth he wanted to say but you had stunned him. You felt great pride.

You do take him in your mouth. Too much teasing and he was prone to violence. But you take him slow working your way down and up at your own pace.

You felt him become restless beneath you and reach up to fondle his balls in you hand. It stilled him instantly.

You peer up at him and see his jaw his clenched and his eyes are shut. You suck a little harder and he throw his head back against the wall. he was holding in moans, you knew it. Too prideful to give you the satisfaction.

You take him out of your mouth again and return them to his balls.

"fuck, Petal" his body jolts.

His hold in you hair tightens again and you feel his gentle tug back.

Your hands go to his large thigh's now, holding him down in your weak hands.

You follow his direction back to his cock and take it all in. You bob you head like you were taught. moving up and down it at a vigorous pace.

It felt good to be in charge for once but it was all over when his seed poured into your mouth. You had gotten use to the taste of him. The salty flavor nothing new in your mouth.

You drank it down and then continued to suck which finally earned the moans he was holding back.

There it is. The finale. she thought bitterly.

But the show wasn't over yet. Coriolanus hated mess.

You licked the spilled cum clean from his cook, moving to clean the stickiness off his thigh's with your tongue next. He is receptive to it, letting you have free reign.

You give a final lick along his member before you pull back on your heals.

His breathe is heavy with pants as he collects himself.

"seeing as that was the best head of my life you can have the last bit of cake".

It was a way of regaining control over her. Remember the hand that feeds you.

He scraps the last bit of cake onto the fork and brings it down to your lips. You welcome the sweet taste to rinse your mouth out.

You collapse under the pressure of it all. Laying upon the cold floor as your eye lids flutter. You see flashes of him as he pulls his pants up and reaches down for you.

he carries you up a grand staircase into a bedroom and its adjacent bathroom. There was a prepared bath, steaming hot still.

He lowers you into it and the medical salts sting as they swarm your body. he keeps hold of your neck in case you go under and undresses himself with one hand.

He gently pushes you froward so he can slip behind you in the tub. You lay against his chest as he washes you. His strong fingers digging deep as he lathers shampoos into it.

He picks up a loofa dipping it in the water and pressing it against your skin. You feel yourself regaining strength enough to keep yourself from slipping into sleep.

He picks up your hand and begins to scrub the loofa under your finger tips.

"You should have heard them tonight. They all turned their backs to my family during the war, now they want to throw stories of my father in my face".

"You hate them" you ask. You wonder if that's why he was doing this. To get back on a former member of high society.

"yes" he answers, moving on the the other hand, "you must feel the same way amongst your current station. Above them"

You roll you head against his shoulder, "No. they're are my friend's"

you reply sleepily. Coriolanus makes no further attempts to talk.

You realized when you woke the next day the mistake you had made so it came as so surprise when Coriolanus broke the news that you would not be returning to the presentational estate but remaining here with him.

Coriolanus Snow had been hungry all his life. Hungry for power. Hungry for money, for control, for respect, for everything. But as he slips between your legs at night, and explores your body with his mouth, he feels his hunger subside.

#dark!coriolanus snow #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus snow #tom blyth #dead dove do not eat #hunger games #the ballad of songbirds and snakes

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starzwithapen · 5 months

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JOHN DORY / READER ☆ START A LOVE TRAIN

જ⁀➴.𖥔 ݁ ˖༉‧₊˚.

☆Summary: John Dory's first meeting with Rhonda and her owner, you!

☆Content: reader is gender neutral, first meeting!! Gonna make a part 2 exploring their relationship more :3

☆a/n: I FUCKING HATE HIM [affectionate] my first worrkk pls leave feedback if youd like it helps a ton!! :3

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The day John Dory met you and Rhonda was simultaneously one of the worst and best days of his life.

He'd been hiking- nothing out of the ordinary for him, maybe one venomous spider he'd had to fight off, but so far so good! The sting of the cold air against his cheeks quelled his thoughts, made him feel accomplished, in a way.

But he must've been distracted- he was a little more careless than usual, overestimating his own strength and struggling to pull himself upwards, his legs dangling over the edge- he could feel a tick of nerves in the back of his mind, but pfftt, John Dory's got this! He's done this a million times-

Next thing he knows, the rock holding his legs up collapses, and down he goes with it, tumbling over harsh terrain while the wind rushing past his ears drowns out his yelling.

After many very painful seconds of straight up rolling down this cliff, John Dory groans in pain, dusting himself off and pushing himself upwards, except- oh, shit, okay, ow, something’s very wrong with his ankle.

He hisses and grabs onto the skin, pulling his goggles up to inspect it- it appears swollen, and he realises with a frustrated groan that he'd managed to twist his ankle miles away from the nearest safe-house.

Well- looks like he'll have to camp outside for the night, wouldn't be the first nor last time, but it'll be significantly more difficult with a leg that refuses to cooperate with you.

He rushes through setting up camp, wanting to just sleep the pain off till his foot got better, but just as he sets his head down on the pile-of-leaves-that-vaguely-resemble-a-pillow, he hears distant rustling.

That's not odd- it'd be weirder for the forest to be quiet, if anything, animals are always trudging along no matter the time of day- what's odd is how loud the sound is, feet papping against the floor in heavy strides, coming closer and closer towards him.

John Dory sits up in a flash, suddenly regretting how shittily he'd camouflaged his camp- his eyes widen towards the oncoming noise, having just enough time to snatch a stick and hold it out threateningly, though his hands shake and tremble.

“Hey! I have a- uh, a really sharp stick, and I'm not afraid to use iiIIITTT-”

The stick goes flying out of his grasp, and he gets the breath absolutely slammed out of him as something huge jumps onto him, rumbling atop him and- eugh, was it licking him?! Was this how he died, after all these years?! Eaten alive by a-

“Down, girl- stop that, you're scaring him!” the thing finally lets up on trying to swallow him whole, standing back on its hind-legs and cooing at you excitedly, and it's then that he notices you.

“Gods, I'm really sorry- she's not usually like this-” you reach over with a grimace to wipe the wet mess of saliva and glitter off his cheeks with your sleeve, and all JD can do is stare at you, star-struck. One minute he was facing his impending doom, and now he was facing the prettiest person he'd ever set his eyes on, and though he's certain it's night time he feels as though you're shining the sun's rays straight at him.

You smile nervously and pat his attacker's leg, “She wasn't actually going to eat you- or at least I don't think she was? You can never quite tell with Rhonda.”

Okay, John Dory had lived on his own amongst nothing but the trees and mountains for years, so excuse him for not being particularly eloquent when all he blurts out is “John.”

You and Rhonda blink at him comically for a moment, and he feels his cheeks flush under his fur-lined vest. No one's ever caught him off gaurd like this before.

“That's…not my name, but good guess anyways.” You check over him as if he's concussed, and he tries not to frown at the scrunch in your nose as you take in his camp.

“It's my name- John Dory.” He flashes you a charming smile, though he assumes the effects are dampened by the mess of glitter and dirt still smeared across his face, “and can I get yours, or can I just call you mine?”

Silence stretches on between you both, his smile getting more strained by the minute- why hadn't that worked? That always worked, at least when Spruce did it! You were supposed to be- swooning, or something! Not looking at him like he's sprouted a second head!

You cut through the tension with a gasp, and he follows your gaze down to his badly-damaged leg, now with extra bloodied scrapes, “Oh god, that looks rough- did Rhonda do this?” He doesn't have time to tell you that no, actually, it wasn't your fault, when you turn around and scold your…armadillo? He feels his lips quirk up- you looked pretty cute like that, like a disgruntled parent.

“Well, you can come inside and I'll wrap it up for you- you shouldn't leave it out in the open like that.” You wave him over, grabbing onto his hand to pull him into the door, and he feels his skin burn pleasantly where you both touch.

And that's how it starts. JD walks inside the armadillo bus, Rhonda, marvelling at the warmth. Though you hadn't given him your name yet, he felt as though he could trust you- you seemed like someone who values honor and helping others, however bluntly or awkwardly you may go about it.

You wrap his leg with gauze and a healing salve, and he fills the room with chatter- it'd been so long since he'd last seen another soul, he didn't realise just how…lonely he'd felt. You don't speak much of yourself, probably staying cautious, but you do seem curious about his stories, and the twinkle in your eye urges him to speak with a little more pomp than usual.

Your voice turns more concerned as you ask what he'd been doing camping out in the open like that- he'd told you of the trail he planned to follow, though he'd skipped the part where he fell off-course. He tells you of how he'd wanted to end up somewhere warmer by the time winter really hit, sighing to himself. “I'll just have to stock up on fire-wood, maybe invest in a flame-thrower.”

“I mean….we can take you there.” You offer in a quiet voice, your gaze stubbornly set on the floor, “It's still a pretty long drive, but better than 2 months walking on a sprained ankle, especially with how gnarly it looks.”

John Dory's conflicted- the offer sounds heavenly. He pictures waking up to your warmth day by day, helping you gather breakfast, travelling with a companion, for once, but….he'd left to the middle of nowhere for a reason. He wanted to distance himself from his old habits, his old expectations of himself and others.

Though….you seemed to be just as- if not more- capable than him. He wouldn't need to be a pillar for you to lean all your weight against, nor the pressure that turns coal into shining diamond- you two could simply…have each other's backs. Maybe…maybe this could work out, at least for a little while.

John Dory tilts his head up and takes one look at your welcoming smile to make up his mind.

"Can't say no to your pretty face, now can I?"

This time you snicker behind your hand at his awful flirting, but he catches it just in time- and he knows this'll be the start of something great.

#john dory x reader #trolls #trolls x reader #trolls john dory x reader #x reader #ok sorry I dont like putting stuff in main tags </3 thats it for tags #starzwrites #PLS LEAVE FEEDBACK IT HELPS A LOT !!#i hope this was enjoyable even tho it was shorter than I wanted :[ had to split into 2 parts ....

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i-loveyou013 · 8 months

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Losing interest

Al-Haitham x gn!reader

-> IN WHICH Al-Haitham loses interest in you and you can't stand it anymore.

-> Normal Universe

-> Wordcount: ~1.1k

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Alhaitham has lost interest in you. You knew that. He never confirmed this theory, but you noticed the hints.

Your lover never came home for dinner for the last few months. He's always late, always so late that even after 11pm he's not home. You spent days in your bed alone, even though you two were sharing it. Not even in the morning he had the time to greet you and say goodbye.

He just left. Without a word.

You two didn't have normal conversations either. When you do see him (which would be considered a miracle) he brushes you off. Saying you could talk later. You never did. You never will. He doesn't have time. He has more important stuff to do (What is more important than the love of your life?).

Through your pain you shrugged it off.

He's just stressed.

He doesn't mean it.

Soon everything will be like before.

It's okay, I'm overreacting.

It never did. Matter how much hope you had. It never got any better.

Even the most hopeless romantics lose hope someday.

"Can we talk? It's important." You try your best to communicate with your lover. You woke up before your usual routine just to have a chance of meeting him.

"Can it wait? I have to go to work." Alhaitham again brushes you off with his (now) usual monotone voice. Like he doesn't pay attention to a word you're saying. Just perceive that you're mentioning something not worth listening to.

"No it cannot-" You couldn't even finish your sentence as your partner has already left the house.

It took everything for you to not scream out of frustration. Instead, tears rolled down your face. Uncontrollable sobs escaped your mouth. You covered your eyes with both of your hands as you fell on your knees. What seemed like hours and hours with no end were probably only a few minutes. What happened?

Were you not enough?

Were you a burden?

Did you annoy him too much?

All these things did not matter anymore. You got a new job offer in Liyue a few months ago. Just as Alhaitham's weird behaviour started. You first hesitated. Why would you leave everything you had?

It took everything in you to finally accept the job offer. A break is what you need right now. A new country, a new area and maybe many new friends.

Who wanted you here in Sumeru anyway? It's not like you had any friends.

It was just you and Alhaitham.

Now it's just you and your pain.

Clearly, Alhaitham didn't want you here, so you being gone for a few months shouldn't hurt, right? You leave in 2 days. That's why you wanted to talk to Alhaitham today, but he seemed... busy.

You lay down on your bed and cried into your pillow. Hours passed and you haven't moved an inch. Not even to go drink or eat something. You just laid there and did nothing, but cry.

For the last 2 days you tried to talk to Alhaitham about your leave.

And for 2 days you failed to talk to Alhaitham about your leave.

It was just like the last months. Not one glance. Not one word. Not one conversation. Just you. Alone. Crying yourself to sleep.

You have packed your items for your trip and your transportation was just a short walk away. You didn't bother trying to tell Alhaitham about it.

He clearly doesn't care.

You closed your eyes. Took a deep breath and stepped out of your shared home.

Goodbye, Sumeru. I will see you in 6 months.

And hello Liyue. My new home for the next 6 months.

Alhaitham sighed in relief.

Finally.

He has been busy with so many different tasks and missions of utmost importance for the past months. As the Acting Grand Sage he had now new responsibilities which didn't make it easy for him. Especially after the whole chaos.

But now he was finished. Now he could spend some quality time with his lover. Oh, how he missed you.

He didn't want to tell you about it. He thought it would bring you unnecessary stress and worry. He didn't want that. He loves you with all his being and seeing you sad or mad makes his heart ache to the point it's unbearable. You, his precious angel.

He knew he had been neglecting you for the last weeks. He missed being near you as well. Your touch, your voice, your delicious cooking. Everything.

He was about to make it up to you with a nice date. He knew one date couldn't compensate for all the wrongs he did the past months. But he planned the best date you could even imagine. He even bought tickets for one of Nilou's shows. They were hard to get but Alhaitham knew you liked her so much and used his position and power as the Acting Grand Sage to get the VIP tickets.

"[Name]?" Alhaitham yelled through the house. "Sweetheart I'm home!" No answer.

The Sage looked confused. It was Saturday, you should be free.

Maybe you were asleep? Yeah, that's probably it. You looked very tired the last few times he saw you.

He quickly checked your bedroom. Empty. Weird. You would tell him if you had appointments or meet-up with friends. But you didn't...

In all his worries he asked Kaveh. His beloved roommate.

"Kaveh?" He knocked on the door. As he got permission to enter he opened the door.

"What?" Said roommate looked at him annoyed. Alhaitham however ignored that. It's nothing new between them.

"Have you seen [Name]? They aren't home and I'm quite worried." He announced his worries.

Kaveh stared at him blankly. "Are you serious?"

Alhaitham blinked in confusion. "... Yes? Have I missed a certain appointment today? Was it important?"

The architect couldn't believe it. Was he serious? You left to Liyue and Alhaitham didn't know? He didn't even notice?

"Alhaitham. You're telling me you didn't notice [Name] leaving about a month ago? A month?! Are you serious?!" Neither of them could believe what they were witnessing.

"W-What? [Name] left? Without telling me?" Why wouldn't you tell him? Have you perhaps forgotten him?

"Without telling you?! Are you hearing yourself? [Name] has been trying for weeks to get your attention, but you were oh so busy with work, that you completely neglected them! They left for Liyue about a month ago because they got a pretty good job offer. They tried to tell you but you were so dense you didn't care. Don't come to me and whine about how they didn't tell you because they tried. You can apologise to them in 5 months when they come back. If they even want to anymore." Kaveh scoffed and closed the door right in front of his face.

You left a month ago?

And he didn't notice?

You will come back in 5 months?

Not proofread.

#alhaitham x reader #alhaitham #genshin impact #angst #reader #genshin #xreader #gender neutral reader #genter neutral #sumeru #kaveh #genshin impact angst

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roseofdarknessblog · 6 months

Text

Uncertain tomorrows (Postwar!Levi Ackerman x Reader)

Word count: 2 410

Disclaimer: english is not my first language, I apologize in advance for any mistakes

Summary: You and Levi slowly start to realize that the war is finally over.

This story can be read on its own or as a part of my little post-war series: Learn to live again

Uncertain tomorrows

Suddenly, the whole world around you got so eerily quiet. As night came over Fort Salta it felt as if time had stopped. Those fortunate enough fell asleep, others were sitting or laying around, while a couple of people were still wandering outside, thinking about what happened just a couple of hours ago.

This was it.

The end.

The end you all fought so hard for.

„Stop staring at the ceiling and get some sleep,“ said a hushed male voice right next to you.

Levi was right, closing your eyes and sleeping for at least a couple of hours was the best possible thing you could do. But how were you supposed to do that? With everything that happened, your eyes were filled with tears every other moment. And even though you never let them roll down your cheeks, it felt as if you had cried your whole soul out at least a hundred million times.

„Not that you should be doing anything else...“ you mumbled quietly and rolled onto your left side to look at him.

All the airship hangars were empty now. Well, not entirely. They served as a good place for all of you, the Marleyans, and all the refugees from Liberio to spend the night in. Nobody knew what would follow and many people didn’t even dare to ask. They were happy with the fact that they survived the end of the world. For many, that was more than enough for the next couple of hours and maybe even days.

To be honest, it was enough for you as well. All that mattered, was that you and Levi were still together. With so many memories running through your mind, the fact that he was still alive was the most important one.

„Are you still in pain?“ you asked and reached your hand over to him, brushing a few strands of hair from his forehead. His right eye was still bandaged and the left one was closed. He was trying his best to get some much-needed rest. Even though he fought just like during old times, shortly after it was over the pain caught up to him. When all the adrenaline was gone, he wasn’t even able to stand up on his own or talk through the pain his whole body was in. „I could go find that Marleyan medic and ask for more painkillers.“ He shook his head and slowly turned it to the side to look at you in the darkness.

You were more than grateful when the man, your enemy not too long ago, took care of Levi’s injuries. He did his best with the little he had on hand and you were sure that you would never forget that. It was better than nothing, even though you still worried about Levi a great deal.

Getting him to a proper doctor or even to a hospital was something you knew that needed to be done soon. But how? How would you do that? Where would you go? There was... simply nothing. Just deserted rocky terrains or scorched empty fields of land. The only civilization was the people around you – the Scouts, the Eldians from Liberio, and the members of the Marleyan military.

„How’s your leg doing?“ you dared to ask in a whisper, not wanting other people in the hangar to hear you.

„Cutting it off would hurt less,“ he hissed through gritted teeth, closing his only healthy eye once again.

You knew that he was coughing up blood earlier during the fight. And when you asked him about it, he scoffed and said that it was only because he accidentally bit into his lower lip and tongue during the fight, so he had to spit out the blood from his mouth. You didn’t believe him even a little bit and kept a very close eye on him but... that was truly the only thing you could do. Besides praying to every possible god in the universe that he would pull through like every time.

„You sure you don’t want those painkillers?“

When he didn’t respond, you were left alone with your torturous thoughts once again. And slowly, it was more than you were able to take.

All of you killed Eren and saved the little that was left of the world and its population, you lost people along the way and you were also turned into a Titan. You fought against the Rumbling, against all the previous nine titans... against the boy, who years ago came into the Scouting legion with a dream of eradicating all titans.

And even if that dream of his was fulfilled in a very gruesome and twisted kind of way... well... it did happen in the end. All the titan powers were gone once and for all. Or at least that was what you were hoping for.

After a couple of minutes of silence, Levi spoke again. „Aren’t you going to ask that question?“

„What question?“ you asked a little confused and found Levi’s hand in the darkness under the blanket. Only then you realized that his hand, and probably the other one too, was tightly curled into a fist.

„About what’s going to happen now. Tomorrow, in a week, month...“

„No, I’m not. I don’t have the strength or brain capacity to think about that. Not now, maybe later.“

Maybe after the realization, that everything really came to an end will set in. But until then, you felt like you’d stay stuck in some kind of bubble, where the past, present, and future were mixed together, creating a portrait full of sorrow and uncertainty.

A shiver, that ran down your back, made you move a little closer to Levi and hold his hand a little tighter. You very gently interlocked your fingers and moved your head, so your forehead was resting against his shoulder.

„Are you worried about cuddling up to me properly?“ he asked, the remaining fingers of his injured hand running through your messy hair.

„I don’t want to hurt you, that’s all. You’re hurting all over.“

„That doesn’t mean I don’t want to feel you as close as possible,“ he whispered and rolled onto his side with a painful sigh you’ve never heard from him before.

All everybody had were a couple of blankets or coats from the military or the Eldian refugees, but it had to be enough. It was still better than lying on the ground itself. Another positive thing was, that the night wasn’t too cold. So laying there, in a dark corner of one of the hangars was more than bearable. The only truly important thing was the man lying there beside you, whose warmth was reassuring and calming. Just like during old times, when you were still living in the Underground together.

„It doesn’t seem real,“ you whispered and wrapped your arm around Levi carefully, resting your foreheads together. When the tips of your noses touched gently, you smiled a little and kissed his lips lightly. „We were fighting for so long and it’s done now. We don’t need to do it anymore, there’s no war to win now, we did it. All of us... together.“

„Almost all of us...“ Levi corrected you almost inaudibly and brushed his lips against yours again. It was such a gentle movement but so full of love.

„I still remember the day you, Isabel, and Furlan left the Underground and the day you came back for me. I remember my first days spent in the sunlight, how it pained my eyes, and how sunburnt I got all over my face during the very first training.“

„Shitty glasses gave you that awfully smelling cream.“

You chuckled and gently caressed the back of his neck, letting your fingers slide into his hair. It had grown a fair bit over the month he spent in the forest with Zeke. „But it did help a whole lot, don’t forget. My skin was okay in two days.“

„Yeah...“

Losing Hange was something that scarred both of your hearts. They were with you since day one and suddenly... suddenly they were not. It wasn’t easy to process, even after everything that happened since then. You still saw them right there before your eyes when you closed them and you couldn’t believe you’ll never hear their cheerful voice again.

But then again, the same feelings tortured you when it came to many other people. Your heart hurt for Sasha, Erwin, Moblit, Miche, Nanaba, Isabel, Furlan, Petra, members of your own squad, and many more. It hurt just as much, as Eren’s death. Because until the very end, you believed that there was a way to bring him back from the path he chose to walk down. You believed Armin and Mikasa, Jean and Connie, who never wanted to give up on their friend, would talk sense into him. You hoped... so damnd much... that it wasn’t late for him to turn back.

But eventually... you simply had to face the fact, that not all things can be undone and not all people can be saved.

Thinking about all of your fallen friends and comrades made you stay quiet again. While Levi was absentmindedly playing with a strand of your hair, you were running your hand up and down his back comfortingly. He never felt this fragile in your arms and that put tears in your eyes again.

With your foreheads still pressed together, you could feel his warm breath on your face when he talked. „You’ll finally have the chance to wear those pretty flower dresses you always liked so much.“ His lips met yours in a loving kiss.

You nodded with a smile, stroking his cheek. „That will be nice for a change. No more uniforms or ODM gears, no more training...“

Eventually, you would miss all of that, you were sure. After all, military life was all you knew for almost fifteen years. But a little change sounded more than welcoming. Having the chance to finally live a different life. A happy and safe one. A life where you and live could be just... well, Y/N and Levi. Two ordinary people – best friends and lovers, not soldiers.

„Years back, when I was badly injured after the encounter with the Female titan... you promised me that if I pull through, we’ll get married,“ you whispered into his ear, brushing your lips over his cheek. „And then things got crazy with Eren and... we haven’t really had the time ever since.“

„Maybe now...“ he said, trying to pull you even closer to his body. He never had a problem doing it until now. So it had to be you, who scooted closer and found a way to lay comfortable again, while your own body was hurting and bruised from all the fighting. „We can finally do whatever the hell we want.“

„All the stupid things we never got to try,“ you chuckled, wrapping him in a loving hug.

„We can mourn all we want and then just move on.“ His voice was getting quieter, while you could finally feel his body relaxing against yours.

„Get lost in all the grief and pain, all the heartbreak and then... we’ll wake up one morning and not feel it ever again. Or at least not that much.“ Your fingers once again found their way into his silky black hair, stroking and massaging his scalp very gently. „We’ll have the life all of them dreamed about. And we’ll live. For them and for us.“

Both of you could hear your voice breaking, while tears eventually rolled down your cheeks. And it felt so damn good to finally let yourself cry and grieve. It was a way to ease the pain that was pounding through your entire body.

„We’ll figure something out, we have the rest of our lives to do that,“ you added in a reassuring tone, kissing the top of Levi’s head.

He really wasn’t in the mood for talking or dreaming about the future. And that was perfectly fine. Even you weren’t in the mood, to be honest. You tried to do it only to keep your mind occupied and not to let it wander to the worst places.

Hours were slowly passing you by in complete silence. Levi was resting in your arms, avoiding even the slightest movement to not feel any more pain. Even with your eyes closed, you couldn’t even think about falling asleep. Fear didn’t let you do it. So instead, you kept a watch over Levi. In the silence of the night, you focused on his calm breathing until morning came around. He finally fell asleep just a few minutes before sunrise.

Soon after, Jean came to check up on the two of you. He looked just as exhausted as you were feeling, so he probably didn’t get any sleep either. You assured him that everything was okay and that if anything came up, you would come and find him or the others.

„Was it all just a dream?“ Levi asked in a whisper maybe an hour later, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. You could hear voices from outside, people were starting to wake up and move around once again.

„No, it wasn’t. It’s over and we made it out alive.“

Levi nodded slightly, pressing his lips to your neck and tightening his grip around you. When you closed your eyes at that moment, all the events of the past years seemed unreal. Suddenly, you felt like a kid once again. A small girl growing up under the Capital, who was only dreaming about living up on the surface in the sunlight.

„We came so far, Levi, and made all of them proud, I’m sure about that. Today, we got the chance to wake up into a world they all helped to create... for us.“

„And we’ll honor them by living the best life we possibly can,“ he added and looked up at you. With tears in the corners of your eyes, you pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead and hugged him even tighter so as to never let him go anywhere without you.

Yesterday, you all left your past lives behind and today all of you woke up to a brand new beginning. With so much pain and sadness in your hearts, you got the chance to look into the future and be present for a fresh new start humanity needed so much.

#levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman x female reader #aot x reader #aot x you #attack on titan #snk #shingeki no kyojin

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jjkeverlast · 2 years

Text

hurts so good | jjk

-> pairing best friend!jk x reader

-> genre crack and filthy smut

-> summary having jungkook as a best friend had it's cons, for one he complains, a lot. surprisingly he shows up at your door at two in the morning to complain about something incredibly different.

-> word count 4.3k

-> warnings sub!koo, switch!reader, change of perspectives, swearing (a lot of it), handjob, oral (m. receiving), dry humping, grinding, cervix sex, size kink (it’s big dick!jk), reader has a pain kink! no protection (y'all know the drill tho!)

-> authors note! ah... my baby is finally here. i should mention that this will be my last upload while i'm on summer vacation before i return back to school for my last year of studies. so i'll be less active, but fear not! my upcoming projects will arrive sooner or later... just with a longer time gap in between. <3

[btw, i'll edit this later... it's literally 4am so if there's any mistakes i'll take care of it when i wake up!]

‘’Jungkook? It’s 2 in the morning.’’ You’re shocked to see Jungkook in nothing but a black sweats attire and a pissed off face.

‘’I need to vent.’’ He reasons.

‘’At 2 in the fucking morning?’’ Now you’re pissed. The sleepy eyes long forgotten and the 8 hour sleep you were looking forward to all day. You let out a huff, moving aside for Jungkook to enter. He better have a good fucking reason for this shit, you internally think as he comfortably sits on your couch as if it’s his own home. Sure, he carries the best friend title but he really had a thing for being way too comfortable in that department. Which explains him snacking on your unfinished snacks after your movie night — yes, with yourself.

‘’Hey! Seriously?’’ You snatch the bag of chips, as his mouth is full paired with his doe eyes looking at you in shock.

‘’I was hungry!’’ It’s muffled, small crumbs of chips flying out of his mouth. Disgusting.

‘’Just tell me why you’re here so I can go to bed as quickly as possible.’’ You settle the bag of chips beside you as you sit next to him on your living room couch. Jungkook swallows the chips, his annoyed face returning quickly — as if he forgot why he was irritated in the first place.

‘’Okay, well, Victoria is out of the picture.’’ Victoria as in the woman who’s been involved with Jungkook the last month. They met through one of your friends and quickly they agreed to see each other. You’d heard zero complaints about their relationship, up until now.

‘’I’m sorry Koo. What happened?’’ Now he’s being really quiet, too quiet for your liking.

‘’Jeon Jungkook.’’ Your voice is stern and he knows he’s gonna have to speak up now or you’ll kick him out.

‘’You won’t believe me.’’

‘’Try me.’’ His brows raise, noticing you’re quickly losing your patience with him.

‘’It was because of… of the sex.’’ Sex. A very broad subject in your opinion, having a million reasons why sex can be bad and shakingly good. So for Jungkook to reason sex, your mind immediately thinks that it has something to do with the fact that Victoria didn’t finish while they fucked. Which could be true? You wouldn’t know. Yes, so Jungkook and you were best friends and overshared a tad bit much at times, although sex? Sex was never really on the table of ‘subjects to talk about’.

‘’Fuck this is gonna sound so wrong.’’ Jungkook grunts, tilting his head back and your thoughts are left on the shelf for now.

‘’It can’t be that bad.’’ Jungkook makes a noise, stating he’s disagreeing with your comment.You roll your eyes at his childish act.

‘’Jungkook, if it’s about you not making her finish I will kick you out.’’ You’re serious. If he came to your apartment to complain about not making someone cum at 2 in the morning, he’s gonna join the wolves and god knows whatever lurks in the streets at night.

‘’It was hurting her. Y/N I fucking hurt her.’’ You’re puzzled, trying to figure out how exactly Jeon Jungkook could be hurting anyone.

‘’Wha–’’

‘’With my fucking dick.’’ It’s silent. The air con noise grows louder in your apartment as you both stare at each other in fright. Did he just say–

‘’Y-your dick?’’ You tilt your head, eyes wide open not having a chance at being closed. He’s nodding slowly and you wheeze — thinking this is some sick joke that he wanted to pull on you. Classic Jeon Jungkook.

‘’Y/N I’m serious.’’ Your laughter continues on, you almost tearing up as it becomes uncontrollable. As your mind slowly processes the awkward silence from Jungkook's side, you quiet your laughter and listen to what he has to say.

“It’s because of my- my length.”

“Length? As in you're big enough to reach her cervix?” You joke playfully, hitting him on the arm as you’d guessed he’d laugh at it but instead?

“Yeah.” You’re speechless.

Your laugh being completely swallowed, taken back by the agreement to your joke. Was he serious? He couldn’t possibly, then that would mean he probably has a big di–

‘’You don’t believe me.’’ You really don’t.

‘’It’s just hard to believe… that’s all.’’ Jungkook couldn’t possibly. It’s weird for you to even think about.

“How can I make you believe me? Cause I am seriously struggling with women and this isn’t helping.” He gives you a stern look with a glimpse of urge for help. He’s desperate.

“Prove it to me.” There’s no words to describe the expression that is currently resting on Jungkook's face. A mix of every expression a person can carry.

“I’m not showing you my dick.” He gives you the obvious tone of ‘you can’t be serious right now’ and crosses his arms as you’re no help to his little situation.

“Then I’m not believing you.”

“Fine!”

“Fine.” You’re both staring into the black TV screen, arms crossed as the silence returns. It’s awkward for once. You were obviously joking about Jungkook showing you his dick — not yourself wanting to see what’s behind his black sweats. As if the thought ever occurred to you of what it looks like…

Okay, so maybe you have. Once. It wasn’t your fault when Victoria had been drunkenly babbling over how big Jungkook was. You didn’t think of it as much, seeing she was in a drunken state. But when Jungkook admits it, you immediately try to shut down the idea that he might be telling the truth. You didn’t want to even begin to imagine how Jungkook is in bed. Is he needy and whiny? Or controlling and grunting? No, seriously Y/N stop. You grunt in annoyance and that catches Jungkook’s attention, watching you bite your lip. He would never admit that you, leaning your head back, your lip tucked in between your teeth is hot. Like really fucking hot. No. You’re his best friend, for seven years to be exact. He can’t possibly find that hot.

Maybe it was because of the fact that he sought your help after Victoria threw a tantrum at him for having a big dick. It has never occured him to be attracted to you, you had been friends for so long that sex or just anything regarding a sexual situation between you never crossed his mind. When he looks over once again, your eyes now closed, swallowing the silence that's filling the room between you as the tension grows. Maybe it’s only from Jungkook’s side, or maybe yours as well, although he can’t tell what you’re thinking.

‘’Let’s just forget this okay?’’ You finally speak, with a regretful tone which Jungkook catches too quickly for his liking. He should’ve never found you hot for a split second. It’s wrong. So fucking wrong of him.

‘’Yeah, okay. I’ll leave.’’ Jungkook rubs his palms against his sweats, trying to calm himself from the ungodly thoughts of you crossing his mind slowly.

‘’Or–’’ You start off, catching his attention as he turns to meet your eyes, you look tired. ‘’You could– you could stay.’’ He never expected for you to invite him to stay. Sleepovers between the two of you were never involved in your seven year long friendship. Jungkook wanted to stay, and because you proposed made him hopeful. Hopeful in a sense that maybe, just maybe you’ve thought of it too.

‘’Sure, okay, I’ll stay.’’ He’s hesitant. Are you both going to share a bed?

‘’You can just sleep on the couch. I’ll get you a duvet.’’ You smile awkwardly, leaving the living room and entering your bedroom while Jungkook feels incredibly stupid. Of course you don’t want him, you’ve never wanted him. He wants to slap his face for letting himself be attracted to you.

‘’Here.’’ You’re already back, holding the duvet close to you, as you place it on the couch you wish him goodnight and return back to your room.

As your door closes, Jungkook sighs loudly, falling back against the couch. He’s fucked. It’s fine, he just has to sleep his attraction towards you away. He discards his sweats attire, leaving him in his black Calvin Clein boxers, a personal favorite of his.

When he finally settles in, covered in your duvet, he catches the smell of you enveloping the fabric. It doesn't help his mind which already has you covering most of it. He tries to shake out of it, turning and at last closing his eyes.

After what feels like an hour of tossing and turning, Jungkook comes to the conclusion that he can’t sleep. He wants you, more than he thought he would. He’ll probably hurt you, which is one of the few reasons holding him back from knocking on your door. Also the fact that you are very clear on the best friend scale.

There’s a lot of risks that would be taken if he stood up and walked towards you, admitting how much he wants you, how desperate he is to let you touch him. All thoughts vanish from him when he comes to conclusion that he’s saying fuck it. He’ll just leave if you don’t feel the same way and burrow himself deep in his bed and never leave until his attraction disappears completely.

He gets up, throwing the duvet off himself and being met with your white wooden door. His heartbeat is increasing as he urges himself to pull his arm up and form his hand to a knuckle to leave a knock.

As he’s about to knock, the door flies open and you’re standing in front of him, in nothing but a loose transparent white tee. Your nipples are on display for his eyes and he’s gulping over seeing more of you than he expected. Wait– why are you awake?

‘’Y/N?’’

‘’I– I couldn’t sleep.’’ You’re looking down, stealing a quick glance at his bulge which he notices. Do you, do you want him? God the buildup is absolutely killing him. But he tries to control himself, holding himself back from asking you if he can kiss you.

He clears his throat, ‘’why?’’ You were probably thirsty or maybe the thought of him being here caused you to sleep badly. He felt bad.

‘’I can’t stop thinking about it.’’ Your posture changes, a dominant demeanor overlapping itself on your shoulders. You’re stern, firm and just plainly honest. Could you be any hotter?

‘’Thinking about what?’’ You’re smiling, your gaze landing on his silver chain hanging around his neck. With a swift movement you’re hooking a finger around it and pulling him to your lips. Jungkook freezes, his lips feeling warm as they’re covered by yours. He can’t process the fact that you’re kissing him. It feels so right, your chest pressed firmly against his, as he’s able to feel your hardened nipples through the fabric.

Before your fingers can grab onto his hair, he stops. ‘’Are you sure?’’ You’ve crossed the friendship line, the kiss breaking the scale completely.

‘’Yes. Let me feel you Koo.’’ Your pleading eyes, and the firm grip your finger has on his chain leaves him dizzy. He lets you, lets you take full control of him.

‘’Touch me.’’ He catches your smile at his request before you pull him further in the bedroom and guide him to lay down. His heartbeat is going crazy fast, his mind barely being able to comprehend that you’re about to straddle his lap.

As you position yourself on top of him, a low grunt leaves his lips as the contact between your core and his visible bulge closes. He’s already so hard and you’ve barely touched him.

Your fingers grab his hair, tenderly running your fingers through the undercut. ‘’I love your hair like this.’’ You compliment as you go back to kiss him, missing the warmth of his mouth already.

Jungkook is careful with you, wanting to touch you everywhere, run his hand down your spine and feel the warmth of your skin under his palm but he holds himself back. His mind is back to thinking of you hurting, and feeling hurt because of his length. This is a bad idea.

‘’Wait.’’ He holds your shoulders, your hands laid flatly on his chest with a worried expression.

‘’What’s wrong?’’ You look like someone who’s scared you’ve gone too far and Jungkook feels a tinge of guilt.

‘’I don’t want to hurt you.’’ He whispers, being careful with his choice of words.

‘’What if I want it to hurt?’’ You trace your fingers on his chest, drawing them in small circles as his eyes move to your half hidden smirk.

‘’I–’’

‘’Just, trust me.’’ Your head falls down on his chest, leaving kisses on his chest and letting your tongue run freely on his exposed skin as he whimpers beneath you. Your tongue feels amazing on him and he gives in, letting you control the situation.

‘’Okay.’’ Jungkook softly says, your head moving lower towards his abdomen, peppering his skin with kisses and biting gently down to give him a small taste of what awaits him.

He can sense that you’re being patient, savoring up the moment of having him like this. His body is a canvas for you, to mark, bite and let your mouth run freely on. He wants you to take control, to show him how well you’ll be able to please him as he later on will give you his cock to fill you up.

‘’This– this feels really good.’’ He mumbles, barely forming a full sentence, too captivated by the feeling of you above him.

You hum against his skin, seeming more than pleased in hearing his compliment regarding your mouth. You’ve moved longer down, your legs now settled between his as your breath lands hot on his clear hard on.

Jungkook looks up to see you gawking at him and he grows embarrassed.

‘’Y/N, stop looking.’’

‘’Sorry, you just weren’t kidding.’’ Somehow the answer resolves in you and Jungkook laughing like idiots and him throwing a ‘I told you so’ into the middle of your shared laugh. The laughter soon dies down and the irresistible tension returns to the dark bedroom, the only light coming from the outside lights covering the streets. It’s the only light which helps the both of you in seeing a glimpse of one another.

‘’Can I?’’ You ask, holding one hand firmly on his hip as your thumb traces on the top of Jungkook’s Calvin Clein boxers. He gulps, nodding as he allows you to take things further.

You take your time in taking his boxers off, Jungkook can’t help but have his hips shake – reasons being he’s nervous yet thrilled for this to happen. Having his cock on full display for your eyes is nerve wracking, he’d never see this day coming.

‘’Hey, I’ll be gentle.’’ With that you use your thumb, smearing his leaking pre-cum as he bucks his hips wanting more. Jungkook is infatuated by your touch, becoming more needy for you.

‘’Fuck– your hand feels so soft.’’ He throws in a compliment and surprisingly you go at a faster pace, a sudden moan escaping his lips. Fuck, how are you so good at this? The sensational feeling from your hand has Jungkook closing his eyes, also because he’s nervous to look at you while your hand is wrapped firmly around him. He’s too confused and captivated by you and the pleasure you’re giving him that he still really hasn’t processed what is happening right at this moment. It feels surreal.

Your thumb traces itself on his tip once again, Jungkook running his hand through his hair as his breathing speeds up, a familiar feeling of release washing over him. Fuck, you haven’t even touched him for long and he’s already thinking of cumming. You, his best friend since he had his awful hair fazes that just never really complimented his features. His best friend since high school, as you both lamely made fun of the PDA couples, who never knew what the word ‘privacy’ meant. He’s too deep in thought, until you suddenly stop. Jungkook hesitantly opens his eyes, using his elbows for support as he now looks at you.

‘’Can I taste you?’’ Jungkook almost chokes at your question. His already fucked out of it state isn’t even hesitant. Fuck he’d love your lips wrapped around him. Your lips look even softer than your hand. The outline of your lips visible for his eyes as the moonlight discreetly shines over them. God, you make him so weak.

Truth be told, Jungkook doesn’t remember the last time he’s ever been this willing, this open to just anything. But if it includes you? He’s all for it.

‘’Y-yeah.’’ Fuck, he just stuttered. You probably think he’s being hesitant and–

You gently lick his tip, swirling it around to allow the taste of him to linger itself in your mouth, your hand starts to move again and Jungkook’s mouth falls apart, his eyes watching you. If only you could see how pretty you were as you open wider, inviting more of him. Your mouth feels so warm, so welcoming. He wonders if it’s possible to get addicted to a certain body part, because he’ll for sure mention your mouth if asked.

‘’God, your mouth.’’ He wants to caress your cheeks softly, as his thumb can feel how well he’s filling your mouth up. Maybe it’s too much… too sentimental. Seeing you’re literally stuffing your face with his cock, your hand stroking what you aren’t able to take.

Although, he forms a sort of courage and asks you gently, ‘’can I touch you?’’ You let go of his cock with a pop, brows furrowed as if you’re uncertain of where exactly he wants to touch you.

‘’Please?’’

‘’Okay.’’ Jungkook leans closer to you, his hand cupping your cheek as his thumb grazes the top of it. You lean in his touch before you go back down, taking him in your mouth once again. He won’t survive this. No. He won’t survive you.

He’s almost about to break when his palm feels the bump caused by his cock in your mouth as you bop your head faster, all while Jungkook whines freely — not knowing he’s making you extremely wet by moaning so carelessly.

It’s not until you use your hand, focusing solely on sucking his tip that he’s almost about to finish. You retrieve before he’s able to, a string of saliva connecting you to his tip as you smile so innocently. Yeah, he’s definitely not surviving you.

“What are you doing to me?” It isn’t a question, rather a statement towards everything he feels for you in this instant moment.

You guide yourself back up, lips molding against his. He can taste himself on your tongue and it drives him crazy. He’s almost willing himself to take control — he’s never done or wanted that before, but there’s just something about you which drives him in a completely different direction.

Should he touch you? Touch you in ways he’s always found appealing but never for him? He’s willing, for you he is. Slowly but surely, he tenderly peppers your neck with kisses, slipping his tongue to run along. He’s startled when you moan so effortlessly. He wants to hear more of you and those heavenly sounds you’re so willing to offer him.

You begin to move, grinding your clothed core over his bare cock and a rush is sent through him. It’s almost as if he’s gotten you needy now, so needy you couldn’t contain yourself from grinding on top of him — still fully clothed. It feels new, although Jungkook loves it, cause fuck he can feel how wet you are. Did you get this wet by only touching him?

‘’You’re already so wet.’’ A grunt leaves his lips when you only hum in response, continuing your grinding, almost as if you’re losing yourself completely at the touch of him.

‘’Fuck, fill me up. I can’t wait anymore.’’ You push him down, hurrying yourself to take your shirt off. Since when did you go from being patient to impatient so fast? He can’t help but feel extremely proud of himself, patting himself mentally on the back.

But then he’s in tact of what’s happening, you’re about to sit yourself down on his cock and he’s afraid — even though you made it clear you want it to hurt — he just… cares too much about you and the thought of you being in pain because of him doesn’t sit well with him.

‘’Hey, are you sure? I really don’t want to hurt you.’’ You’re just about to position yourself, freezing in your movement. You’ve probably caught on how afraid he is.

‘’Koo, I want this. It’s okay.’’ You peck his lips softly, his hold on you loosening to inform you that he trusts you.

His tip is barely inside of you and a whimper lets itself out of him. Scratch that about your mouth being his favorite body part of yours, your pussy definitely steps on the podium for number one.

You continue, Jungkook catching the sight of his cock disappearing within you and his breathing starts to quicken. He probably won’t last long, not when you wrap yourself so nicely around him the further you go down.

‘’Shit—’’ You let out, fully sunk down on him. There’s a tinge of discomfort covering your face but Jungkook forces himself not to worry, you want this, you want him. It’s soon replaced by a smile, as you start bucking your hips, letting yourself settle on him.

He really takes the time to notice how beautiful your breasts are, looking so delicate. God, he wants to touch them, touch every inch of you.

He’s reminding himself of the sounds you let out as he placed his lips on your neck, would you react the same way if he latched his lips on your exposed breasts as well? There’s really only one way to find out. Yet he wants to be good for you, letting you use him to make yourself finish.

You surprise him once again, guiding his hands towards your breasts — as if you knew he was having a tantrum with himself over if he should touch them or not — he was right, they’re incredibly soft. Your nipples perked and good enough to suck but then again, he holds himself back.

‘’You feel so good.’’ Your words are mostly slurred, too focused on the pleasure — your eyes closed as you run your fingers through Jungkook’s hair — his hair that you like.

He makes you feel good, you keep reminding him when you mutter it once more as your hips buck at a faster pace. Shit, you really know how to ride him well.

It’s as if something clicks for Jungkook when you go down to bite his earlobe followed by an angelic whimper. He loses all control of himself. ‘’Fuck–’’ He’s taking control, flipping you around so you’re beneath him, hair sprawled on your pillow and eyes about to pop out of their socket.

‘’What are you–’’ Jungkook latches his mouth on your hardened nipples, nibbling his tongue softly on them and it was so worth it. They feel so soft against his tongue. Although not as soft as your pussy wrapping itself perfectly around him.

Jungkook feels dizzy, drowning in the feeling of how he’s swallowed by your warmth. Fuck he’d keep himself burried in you forever if he could.

He starts thrusting, profanities break out from you when the pace quickens. He’s reckless at this point, showing you how much you affect him.

As the time passes, skin grows hotter, small beads of sweat covering Jungkook’s forehead. You’re both close. He can sense it as you convulse around him which almost leaves him breathless.

‘’Fuck— it hurts, it hurts so good.’’ With that your body loses its composure beneath him as you come undone.

It’s something about you making him good about himself, not only him as a person but him in whole. You’ve always been so accepting of whatever bullshit he’s brought upon you. He feels safe around you, your arms wrapped around his form as you run your fingers through his hair. You feel like home. You are his home.

With a low muttered fuck, Jungkook feels his cock twitch as his hips stutter for one last thrust, filling you up with everything he has.

His hair covers most of his sight, both of you panting in sync as you try to calm yourselves. When his cock begins to soften, he takes it as a sign to let himself plop down next to you.

‘’I’ve– I’ve never…’’ Jungkook doesn’t know where to begin. He can’t recognize the person he was right before.

‘’Taken control?’’ You steal his unspoken words and he turns to see you smiling softly. The moonlight has turned to a chrome yellow, indicating that a sunrise was indeed nearing. Your features have become more prominent for Jungkook’s eyes and your beauty captivates him by an invisible hook.

‘’Yeah, taken control.’’

‘’You should do it more often.’’ It’s an encouragement and it seems to work because the idea of being in control doesn’t faze Jungkook. He loved it.

It’s been around an hour after Jungkook surprisingly fucked you. You’re both situated in your kitchen. The sunrise covering most of the apartment with it’s golden rays that strike inside the windows from the living room.

‘’What are you thinking?’’ Jungkook caught onto your frown, indicating you’re thinking about something.

‘’I’m thinking that… I liked this, what just happened, I really liked it. It felt–’’

‘’Right?’’ He answers for you and you nod.

‘’I don't want this to be the last time.’’

‘’It won’t be.’’ Carefully, Jungkook cups your face, his nose brushing against yours. He really wants to kiss you again.

‘’Kiss me.’’ You seem impatient, and Jungkook gladly does as you request.

Maybe, maybe this was always supposed to happen between you.

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astraystayyh · 9 months

Text

Backburner

Han x reader. Han is a toxic ex who won't let you move on. Angst.

Inspired by Backburner- Niki. skz song series masterlist

It's been seven weeks since you and Han broke up.

Not that you're keeping count, but it's easy to remember when he calls you every Saturday night. Without fault.

He's the one who broke up with you, flimsy excuses and teary eyes as he left your apartment. Talks about how he wasn't enough for you, how he couldn't be present for you, how he couldn't love you the way you needed to be loved.

But you wanted his love, not the one he suddenly deemed you worthy of.

Maybe that's why you still picked up, even though it's reeling you back to seven weeks ago when he had just left you. Han's no longer here and yet, he's not letting you move on. He's the perfume that lingers in the elevator long after the person is gone; he's the feeling of floating on the waves that sticks with you long after you come home from the beach.

He's an expert at kneading nostalgia into your soul, at holding you hostage by the ropes of your shared memories. You are a puppet in his hands, dangling over the edge of oblivion, only to be pulled back each time you attempt to forget.

And he's calling again, at 2 am, like he always does. You don't have to glance at your phone to know it's Han- you never changed the special ringtone you set for him. And you pick up, like you always do.

I can't lie it feels nice that you're calling

"Hey, were you sleeping?" he asks after a few silent beats.

"No, I wasn't."

He clears his throat, and you imagine him lying on his bed, fidgeting with the hem of his sweater. If you close your eyes long enough, you can still smell his cologne and the fabric softener he uses. Or maybe he changed it. You aren't around anymore to know.

"I miss you." His voice sounds broken, coming out in a strangled whisper. As horrible as it sounds, you enjoyed knowing that he felt as miserable as you- that his soul still ached for you as you ached for him.

You sound sad and alone, and you are stalling

He coughs again, trying to fill the silence from your end, but you don't budge. You never know what to expect from these calls. Sometimes he'd talk about his day, as if nothing happened, as if he was still your boyfriend and he was calling you on the way home.

Sometimes you'd both stay silent, your breaths the only thing echoing through the phone call. You'd put it on speaker and pretend he was there, lying next to you. That you'd wake up in the morning and find him smiling at your sleeping figure, his fingers gently brushing against your cheek.

And sometimes, he'd tell you how much he loves you. Those phone calls hurt the most, because if he loved you, he would have stayed, right?

I don't care about what you want, as long as you keep talking

"Yn, I... I really miss you."

"Han..." you trail out, as hot tears well in your eyes. It was hard not to crumble when he spoke this way, his words tugging harshly at your heartstrings. It brings you back to all the times he was away, bound by work obligations. How he always told you he missed you, and within it, a silent promise that he'd come back. That he'd unravel the need within you, filling every dent and crack in your heart since he left. Unlike now, gone for good.

"It's the truth, I wait all week for this one call. It's the only thing keeping me going."

Talking to Han makes you experience different emotions, all at once. Relief- when you hear his voice for the first time in a week, and you realize you still haven't forgotten how your name sounds rolling off his tongue. Sadness- when you remember that this is now the remains of your relationship. The pain wraps around you slowly- like vines intertwining themselves with old buildings, deserted just like your heart.

And then anger- when he says things like this; as if he isn't the instigator of this pain, as if some force greater than the two of you forced you apart. It maddens you, how he stabs you and then he weeps over your bloody body.

"Then why did you break up with me, Han? If it's hurting you this much then why are we even apart?" you ask, anger barely contained.

"I told you, I'm never here. You don't deserve a boyfriend like this," his tone is exasperated, as if this is a simple truth and you are supposed to swallow it down your throat, along with the rest of your feelings.

"Then stop fucking calling me Han. You aren't here but you won't let me move on!"

"Because I don't want you to move on!" he yells, and you startle at the raw pain laced in his voice. "I'm scared if I don't call you anymore, you'll forget me," his voice cracks. "And... And we'll meet ten years from now in the aisle of a random supermarket, and you'd be in love with someone else while I'm still buying the shampoo you recommended to me."

"I'm tired Han," you choke out, phone now shaking in your hand.

You'd think I'd be a fast learner, but guess I won't ever mind- crisping up on your backburner.

"Me too, baby."

"Don't call me that," you beg, "please, don't call me that."

It's pathetic but at least you are too

"I want to see you," he says, tone pleading. And you can envision him perfectly, wounded eyes looking into yours, his lower lip quivering at the thought of you saying no.

"It's not love when you treat someone this way," you tell him, wiping your tears away. "To put someone in the corner and only think of them when you are fucking lonely."

"I think of you all the time," he cuts you off, "you never leave my mind, even when I'm away. Especially when I'm away."

After everything you put me through, I somehow still believe in you

"This is wrong," you whisper, as your resolve weakens, as your longing for him threatens to consume you whole. You no longer care that his hands are choking you as long as he soothes down the burn after.

"I know it is, but I love you. Say it back, please. I need to hear it."

I'll always be in your corner

"Please," he repeats, and he sounds so vulnerable, in his way of begging you. As if your words are the oxygen with which he breathes.

"I love you."

Cause I don't feel alive until I'm burning on your backburner

You are already at the door when you hear someone knocking on it. You don't have to look through the peephole to see who it is.

You open the door, and Han's there, phone still brought up to his ear.

"Let me in?"

He doesn't need to ask, you always will.

#stray kids x reader #skz x reader #stray kids x you #skz x you #han x reader #han x you #skz angst #stray kids angst #han angst #skz imagines #stray kids imagines #stray kids imagine #skz fanfic #skz fic #skz rec #skz fluff #stray kids fluff #han jisung x reader #skz song series

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nsharks · 1 year

Text

white bandages (the process of healing) | simon "ghost" riley

part 2 to this fic. I will very likely have a part 3 to wrap things up. —tags: tw blood, ghost + therapy, mild angst, fluff too —running out of pictures to use of this man so this is an edit by @ave661

Fluorescent light falls over an unmasked face. It highlights every ridge of every scar, his shorn stubble, his pale skin. When was the last time Simon Riley took a good look in the mirror? He can't remember— there are many things he works hard to avoid, and his own name is scribbled at the top of the list.

That first night without you, he finds himself in front of the mirror and half expects to see a ghost staring back at him. A corpse, maybe.

But, instead, he sees a man who lives and breathes. A man whose need for sleep is evident in the grey blotches under his eyes. A man whose eyes are anything but empty.

I feel nothing.

No—a ghost feels nothing. A ghost would've been able to forget how you looked at him, your eyes wide with the same fear he used to stare at his old man in. But Simon is not a ghost, and he remembers the fresh images with a pain that starts in his ribs and works its way to the pit of his stomach. Burning. It is a pain so unfamiliar that he doesn't know what to do with it—

—so he seeks a pain that he does know.

Pain that bursts in his hand the moment it meets the mirror. Pain accompanied by the splintering of glass as he hits the mirror over and over, and not once does he make a sound or cry or anything of the sort. He just breathes heavily and, once the mirror is not much of a mirror anymore, he looks at his hand and sees the bits of glass and the blood, and - fucking hell - it does nothing to mask what he feels in his chest.

"Jesus Christ."

He sighs.

His breathing slowly begins to settle.

And then he gets out the medical kit he keeps in the cabinet, sits with it on his bed, and carefully picks out the glass from his hand.

He knows how to take care of this wound. Knows exactly what to do to fix it.

But there are some things Ghost— Simon— doesn't know how to fix; wounds that are far too deep for him to reach. And as he wraps his hand up with some gauze, he remembers what you'd said to him earlier that day, so damn caring and gentle, even in your desire to get away from him:

I think you need help. You deserve it, Simon.

------

You loved the snow.

One time, you made Simon build a snowman with you. Well— it was more like you building the snowman while he watched and critiqued it. Your snowman looks like he's seen some rough shit, pet. Jesus, where is his smile? You had pouted through your laughter, nudging his shoulder. You can't judge him for not smiling, Si. Just like I don't judge you for it.

Of course, you ended up with a handful of snow in your hair for that one.

Quite the mouth on you today, huh?

And then he was rolling his eyes and lifting up his mask to kiss you as your hands combed out the ice from your hair, and you swore you felt him smiling against your lips— but you could never know for sure.

You loved that snowy day with him.

But now—

Now you're not sure if you're so happy about the snow you wake up to.

It's been a week of space. Work has been your main distraction, and you know you need to get the fallen snow off your windshield before you can make it there today.

But when you walk out into the white morning with a coat slipped over your pajamas, you find that your car is already being cleared off by a familiar silhouette with broad shoulders and a black, winter coat.

The cold squeezes your chest. Your heartbeat is swallowed up.

Seven days ago, you had begged him for space. Seven days ago, you left his place with defeat thick in your veins.

Today, you're not sure what you feel as you simply stand there for a moment. Your cheeks bitten to pink by the air and your arms crossed over your body. You watch him draw the brush over the hood, so easily, with one hand stuffed in his pocket, but then his eyes are drifting up— up until they land on where you stand a few meters away, and your fingertips dig into the palms of your hands.

He's the first one to speak. A man of few words who leans the brush against your car and utters a simple:

"Hey."

"Hey," you clear your throat, "Um, why are you doing this?”

He takes a step closer to you, but only one. A tentative step that keeps a good gap between your bodies, where faint flakes of snow fill the space.

“I know we are havin’ space right now," he murmurs. Gentle, murky eyes hold your stare. He slips the hidden hand out from his pocket, only for a short moment, to brush off the snow from his other hand, and you spot the flash of white bandages before it disappears into his coat again.

"But I also know you're workin' today so I thought I'd just... make your morning easier.”

"Thanks," your eyes drift to the ground. "But I don't know— I'm not sure if I'm ready..."

"S'okay," he says, gruff yet incredibly careful, a tiptoe over what lays damaged. "I'm not askin' anything of you, alright?"

“Alright,” you say quietly before your eyes drift to his pocket. “What happened to your hand?”

You’re not sure why you are asking him, and you doubt if the truth will even leave his lips. Wounds— over a year with him, and you’d witnessed plenty. Wounds that you only ever found out about when your fingers would graze under his shirt as he fucked you, and you’d carefully ask what happened as you both lay there breathless. Nothin’ worth telling you about, was his usual answer.

But today, with a peppering of snow on his mask and a sigh pooling from his breath, he tells you earnestly, “Broke my bloody mirror, is what happened.”

“What?”

“Look— it’s not important, yeah? There’s somethin’ else… somethin' else I wanted to tell you before you go to work, and I don’t expect anythin’ from you, but I just thought I should tell you.”

“I— okay,” you blink rapidly, still hung up on the mirror part. But you nod your head and shift your weight from foot to foot, willing yourself to listen to what he wants to tell you because maybe your heart is beginning to thump firm, expectant beats against your ribs, and maybe there are flakes of hope peppering the defeat in your chest, just like the snow that dusts Simon’s shoulders.

But what Simon has to tell you feels like pebbles in his mouth. He’s not good with words; his failure with them seven days ago is a testament to that. These pebbles sit behind his teeth for a lingering moment, before he finds the strength to push them out between the cracks.

(Perhaps, it’s all your patience and care for even the darkest parts of him that has finally given him this strength.)

“I talked to someone yesterday,” he tells you.

He exhales immediately.

You’re not sure if you’ve heard him correctly at first - there is no way? - but the words hang in the cold air as he stares at you with lowered brows, studying the expression on your face, and your lips part open like a bloody koi fish because this is not at all what you expected him to say.

“Really?” you finally breathe, a lilt of relief catching at the end. “You did?”

“Get it free through the military,” he mumbles with a nod, clearing his throat. “Thought a lot about what you said, yeah?”

Numbly, you sputter again, “You did?” But then you shake your head and rub your arms, “Sorry, I mean— that’s so good to hear, Simon. That’s just… How was it?”

“Bloody difficult,” he admits in a mumble, and only you, the person closest to him these days, are able to detect the minor tremor in his voice. “But - fuck - I’m gonna keep doin’ it.”

“Maybe it’ll get easier,” you tell him, drawing an arm over your eyes.

“Yeah.”

“I’m… really proud of you.”

You’re not even fully aware of your crying— no, you’re too focused on the sudden warmth that floods your chest because it is now you realize that if there is no worse feeling than watching someone you care for refuse to help themselves, then there is also no better feeling than hearing that help is something they are finally seeking.

And you care about Simon.

You have for so long, even when the agreement was just sex. Even when you'd flinched away. Even when you spent a week distracting yourself from thoughts of him.

This agreement you shared had turned into care. And you care, you care, you care. You care so much that you forget about the space you'd begged him for in this moment that you rush over to him, closing the cold and hesitant gap as your arms wrap around his neck and your forehead presses into his coat.

But the body against you is stiff and unmoving.

Your smile of relief turns into something apologetic and confused when two strong hands gently push you away.

You peer up at him.

"Don't think that's a good idea, pet."

"What?" you exhale, frowning.

He puts his hands back into his pockets. "I've hurt you, yeah?"

"I know, but—"

"I never want to do that again," he murmurs firmly. "Need some more time before I can make that promise to you."

Your heart sinks and floats and tries to swim through everything you feel. You can't discern all the feelings— there's so much. A flood. He's looking down at you as if you are the most fragile thing and as if, even by just getting too close, he might frighten you again.

"More space, then?" you whisper, stepping back.

Where you'd been the one to start it, now you are the one disappointed by it.

The short nod he gives is confirmation, but before you can get too down about it, he allows this: his good hand reaching out to grab yours. He kisses your knuckles with warm, masked lips.

"I care about you," he murmurs against your hand. "So goddamn much."

"I care about you, too."

"I know," and he lowers your hand, carefully rubbing the back of it. "Wanna be the kind of man you deserve. But I need to—" and his bandaged hand lifts up to tap a finger against his temple, "Need to sort through all the shit in here, yeah?"

"Okay," you whisper, nod, and sniffle. "They'll help you with it. You just have to let them in, Simon."

But he doesn't have anything to say to that— his source of words is a bit depleted. This week has drained him in every way possible, visible to you in the bags under his eyes. A squeeze of your hand is the last thing he has to offer before he lets it go, and then he is off to finish clearing your car.

(Although, you already know you will have a hard time getting to work on time this morning.)

#good for him #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley x you #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley #angst #fluff #tw blood

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buckyalpine · 1 year

Text

Catch Me If You Can 3/3

Mob!Bucky x Single mom Police officer reader

Warnings:

I really like this AU so while this is the final part, BUT I will write stuff for these two here and there (like the proposal and so much more I have in my head for them)

Part 1

Part 2

Your heart stopped as you stood near the door, hearing the conversation between your son and Bucky. The rest of what they were saying was drowned out with a dull buzz filling your ears, all your emotions coursing through your body all at once.

Dad.

A word Jordan had resented all is life, only associating the term with a man who wanted nothing to do with him. Dad meant loneliness, fear, abandonment, abuse.

Dad was something he never had an interest in.

No one you had ever dated in the past was worthy of being in Jordan’s life, something you put first whenever you went out. Not one person had made it even close to meeting him let alone standing in as a father figure to him. You soon accepted that your life would be just you and him until he grew up and had his own family as well.

But now?

Dad.

And Bucky, of all people.

You didn’t even realize tears were streaming down your face until you felt a drop slip onto your collarbone, quickly slapping your hand over your mouth and rushing to your bedroom, shutting the door. You buried your face in your hands, your heart twisting at the thought of how safe your son must have felt around Bucky. How he loved spending time with the mob boss, never wanting to leave, feeling like he was at home more and more each day.

He wasn’t the only one.

It wasn’t shock that Bucky felt.

It was pain.

Pain that he saw Jordan as his own but couldn’t take on that role.

Pain where whenever he spent time with either of you, he’d never want it to end, finding any excuse under the sun to get you to stay.

But how could he feel all that when you were both from two different worlds, one where the two couldn’t mix.

If only.

“I think you should ask mama bear how she’d feel about that” Bucky softly ruffled his hair while Jordan made a thinking face before nodding to himself. He was well aware that uncle Bucky wasn’t exactly in the all clear but he wasn’t blind either. You definitely used less no-no words when talking about Bucky. You’d mumble something occasionally, but he caught the little smile that graced your lips, often rolling his eyes when you’d try to wipe it off immediately after.

“I don’t think she wants to arrest you anymore but I can’t make any promises. Mommy takes her job very seriously” Jordan downed the rest of his juice while Bucky chuckled, nodding his head.

“Mama is very good at her job, she puts away the bad guys”

“But you’re a good guy” Jordan shrugged, continuing to work on his homework, hoping to revisit the topic later.

As soon as Jordan was ready for bed and tucked in, you went down to the kitchen for a late night snack, book in hand with your silk robe tied around your body. You figured everyone had gone to sleep, allowing yourself to lounge in something that made you feel good, the outfit on the racier side. You set your mug down on the marble counter top, popping a strawberry into your mouth and opening your book, too engrossed in the story to hear the footsteps that padded down the hall.

Bucky blinked as soon as he walked in the kitchen, stopping dead in his tracks when his eyes fell on you. Wrapped in silk. Your lips stained with sweet berry juice. Your plush thighs on full display. In his kitchen. Where he could bend you over the counter-

He mentally flicked himself in the ear, letting out a cough to announce his presence, hoping some blood would flowback to his brain before you shot his dick off. Your eyes flicked up, your heart jolting at the sight of a very shirtless Bucky, his t-shirt slung over his shoulder, joggers riding low on his hips. Sweat glistened off his tan skin, the veins on his forearms prominent from the workout he just had.

“Thought everyone was asleep” You wrapped your roble a little tighter around yourself, ignoring the butterflies that rabidly bounced around your stomach, willing your eyes to look away from the dark trail of hair on his stomach that lead right down to his-

“Couldn’t sleep” Bucky broke you out of your filthy train of thoughts as he walked to the fridge, grabbing a water bottle and debating on dumping it on his head to calm himself down. “I had an interesting conversation with the little one” He murmured, taking a swing from the water bottle, struggling to take his eyes off the way you fit so perfectly in his home, so pretty in silk, the type of thing he’d want to come home to everyday-

“I heard” You nodded, taking a long sip of tea, trying to calm your racing heart. Everything about him was perfect, except for the fact that his entire being was dedicated to a life of crime. While Jordan didn’t tell you about his request to call Bucky something different, he did talk your ear off about uncle Steve and Bucky’s motor bike collection. “Didn’t realize you’d all be so good with kids”

Bucky chuckled, equally surprised with himself over how easy it was for him to move with Jordan. It came naturally. He’d thought about having a family before but this was the first time he saw himself as a father-

Stop.

You’re not his dad.

“Again, I’m part of the mob sweets, not a monster. Family comes first”

You hummed, before continuing, “So how did that conversation go?”

“Asked him what his pretty mama would think” Bucky tossed you a charming smirk which you rolled your eyes to, biting down hard on your lip to keep from smiling.

“In those exact words Barnes?”

“It’s definitely what I was thinking” Bucky shrugged while you took another swing of tea to stifle a giggle. Neither of you said anything else, quietly continuing what you were doing unable to look each other in the eye. Jordan sat at the top of the stairs, smacking his forehead before trudging back to bed. Clearly he wasn’t the only one who adored his mommy.

Something about that night had changed things. You still maintained that the nature of your relationship was strictly because of Jordan's safety and nothing else. You’d even once jokingly cuffed Bucky, much to his surprise, his eyes growing wide when he found himself pinned against the wall, caught off guard with how swiftly you were able to hold him down.

He felt goosebumps erupt over his skin when you teasingly whispered his rights before uncuffing him and twirling the metal in your hands. Jordan found it hilarious, while Bucky was left a babbling mess, insisting he let you arrest him and that you’d never actually be able to disarm him so easily if he fought back.

In fact, he even insisted you try again.

And again.

Steve once had to slowly pull Jordan away, distracting him with another kinder egg, worrying your latest arrest would turn into something else, watching Bucky’s pupils dilate with the clink of the cuffs wrapping around his wrist. He also noticed the way you smirked, your hands lingering on him for longer than necessary for a lawful arrest.

“You like my mom”

Bucky’s eyes shot up, staring at the little thing that was sprawled out on the office floor, putting together Lego’s, the mop of dark hair popping up and staring directly at him.

“What?”

“You like mommy, your face does that pink thing whenever your near her, even when she tries to put you in jail. Have you no shame”

Steve cackled from the corner, while Bucky stood like a fish gaping out of water, his cheeks blushing heavily again.

“You’re doing it right now” Jordan narrowed his eyes while Bucky helplessly tried to make his face less pink, the color only getting worse. “You like her”

Well, the little devil spawn wasn’t wrong, there was no doubt Bucky was harboring a school boy crush on you, growing worse each day.

“And she likes you” Jordan stated, “so what are you going to do about it” He set down the Lego pieces and crossed his arms over his chest, making it clear he wasn’t going to let Bucky weasel his way out of this. Bucky rubbed the back of his neck, realizing he hadn’t been as subtle as he thought while your son continued to stare at him.

“J, it’s complicated, it’s hard for your to understand- your mom- and me- she-”

“I’m sure it takes a real Sherlock to understand why mommy doesn’t want to date her sworn enemy” Jordan dead panned, giving Bucky another pointed look, not needing anyone to break down for him why there was so much unspoken tension between you two.

His mom was a police officer.

She followed the rules.

She respected the law.

Bucky didn’t follow the rules.

The law meant nothing to him.

You weren’t exactly a match made in heaven.

But Jordan wasn’t blind to the way you also got giggly around Bucky no matter how hard you tried not to. It wasn’t often he saw his mama looked so happy and relaxed. If his favorite new uncle made you swoon, who was he to stand in the way of true love and getting a new daddy.

“You like her. She likes you. Right?”

“Okay so it’s not complicated” Bucky huffed while Jordan nodded, expecting uncle Bucky to walk over to you right that instant and profess his feelings out in the open. “But I don’t think I fit into her life like that though kid” He tried but Jordan wasn’t having any of it.

“Ugh, but she has no life!" Jordan rolled his eyes while Steve wheezed, watching Bucky single handedly get taken down by someone that was a quarter of his size. “All she used to do is work and help me with homework and complain about you” He got up from his place on the floor and sat in the office chair opposite to Bucky. “And she still complains about you but now she giggles in between and she doesn’t call you that word that rhymes with mother tucker”

“What does she call me now” Bucky’s curiosity piqued while Jordan scrunched his nose.

“Welllll, why don’t’cha get yourself arrested again and see what she says” He kicked his feet innocently, looking at the mob boss in the eye, “Uncle Steve, he’s blushing again” Jordan shot out an accusatory finger while Steve howled, giving your son a high five.

“That’s my little man, you tell him”

“I’m trying to but he’s still sitting here drinking expensive spicy apple juice”

“You know too much for your age” Bucky rubbed his temples, torn between what his next steps would be and actually considering Jordan’s advice to have you cuff him.

What he wouldn’t do to have your hands on-

“You don’t know enough” Jordan countered, plucking the juice box he left on the table, taking a long sip, happy to have his uncle Steve as an ally.

All it took was a threatening phone call from your ex’s sister for Bucky to get you to stay even longer on his insistence. He didn’t care that she lived in an entirely different continent or that she was a delusional loon; he’d use any excuse possible to keep you near by.

“James, she lives in another country-

“Doesn’t matter”

“I’ve already stayed a month!”

“Stay another”

“But-

“No”

You didn’t like that your feelings were getting harder and harder to contain, your moral compass going haywire, trying to figure out what to do. Seeing Bucky with Jordan pained you the most. Your baby boys eyes would light up as soon as he’d hear the mob boss walk through the door, your heart swelling each time you saw Bucky parading around the house, carrying him on his shoulders. Steve, Sam and Peter didn’t help either, the three of them taking care of Jordan just as much as you did when they weren’t off on illegal shady antics, their line of work as wholesome and innocent as your son when he claimed he only had one kinder egg.

Bald faced liars, all of them.

You felt loved, safe and alone at the same time, conflicted over which direction to follow, your heart screaming to just look the other way at the wrong things he did. But that wasn’t the job. That wasn’t what you stood for. You took an oath to protect innocent lives and accepting full on gang activity didn’t align with that.

Did it?

Though Jordan wasn’t having any of it either, noticing more and more tension building between the both of you, more longing glances and lingering touches each time you were near one another.

If neither of you were going to do anything about it, he’d have to take matters into his own little hands.

Like tonight.

You found it strange that Jordan had insisted on only going out with Steve, Sam and Peter, your little one usually following Bucky around the most. He insisted he was perfectly fine with only going with these three, also throwing in that uncle Bucky was very very busy with lots of meetings, therefore couldn't join them for the movie they were going to see. You were hesitant at first but he gave you little room for argument.

“Jordan, the screen here is literally bigger than the movie theater anyway-

“But moooommy, pleeaaseeee?” He gave you his best puppy eyes and pout, something he seemed to perfect from his latest idol, jumping on you when you finally agreed, though not trusting why Sam, Steve and Peter looked equally giggly and guilty. They left for the day, giving you a night to relax in the quiet mansion.

You decided to pamper yourself, taking advantage of the large tub in the guest bathroom, filling it up with essential oils and bath salts, letting out a content sigh feeling the hot water ease your muscles. You stayed there till the water felt cold, rinsing off and toweling off. You moisturized and slipped on one of your nicer silk robes, figuring you could wear your pj’s later when you actually went to bed.

Not like anyone was home now anyway.

You went down to the kitchen to grab some tea before heading back to your room, curious to find the office door cracked open; typically closed when Bucky was working.

Was he working?

“I see you’re busy” You poked your head into Bucky’s dimly lit office to find him lounging with a book, sipping on dark amber liquid, wearing a soft tshirt and joggers, clearly the opposite of busy with lots and lots of meetings.

You’d have a word with your little one later.

“Where did everyone go” Bucky cocked an eyebrow at the surprisingly silent house, mentally holding himself back as you stepped into his office in your robe again, desperately wanting to pounce on you. his eyes lingered on you, swallowing thickly noting he couldn’t see your sleep shorts from under the robe, were you wearing nothing underneath-

“My baby was an angel before he met you” You shook your head at your sons sneaky work of finding a way to get you and Bucky together alone. “He said you were busy today and then took off with your henchmen, they’ve been out for hours”

“Smart kid” Bucky snorted, secretly proud of the little mob boss in the making, though you’d probably serve his head on a platter if you heard his thoughts. “Want a drink?” He held up his glass, getting up to grab you one as well, dropping a few ice cubes in the crystal.

You bit your lip as you approached him, hoping he wouldn’t be able to tell you felt like you had been doused in lava, your heart beating a mile a minute with the thick tension that hung in the air. A drink meant nothing; he offered it to you because he was polite. You’d have your drink and then your ass right back to your room because if you waited there a second longer, with him in those fitting sweats-

“You look very busy yourself, officer” Bucky cocked an eyebrow, nodding at your clothing, or lack thereof, shamelessly letting his eyes wander up and down your body while he handed you the glass, clinking it with yours before taking a long drag.

“Hmm, took advantage of the peace and quiet and clawfoot tub” You licked the drop of whiskey that clung to your lips, letting the burn distract your brain yelling at you to run while your heart wrapped bricks around your ankles, keeping you in place. “It was nice. I’ll miss it when we go back home”

You threw the last bit out there as a reminder for yourself; none of this was forever. All good things would have to come to and end at some point. Bucky felt his stomach drop at the thought; each day he’d find any excuse he could to have you stay just one extra day.

Just one extra day to bicker with you.

One extra day to spend with the little one.

One extra day to get on your nerves.

One extra day to spend with the family he’d always thought he’d have one day.

“You don’t have to go any time soon” Bucky whispered, unsure if he wanted you to hear those words, taking a step closer to you, “Stay...a little longer?”

“You say that a lot, I might just end up staying forever” You let out a breathless laugh, feeling the warmth of the alcohol relax your muscles, giving into the pull you felt towards him.

“Would that be so bad?” He smirked but the inside of him was on his knees, begging for a chance, just one.

“It-it would-” you couldn’t find the words, stumbling over them, getting lost in the baby blues gazing down at you, his eyes darting between yours and your lips. You didn’t realize you were leaning in, your body following what it needed, morals and ethics be damned.

“I know its not just me” Bucky whispered, hesitantly putting his hand on your waist to pull you closer, wanting to feel your soft lips on his, hug you and cuddle you, make you his. He didn’t want just one night, he wanted this for life. “Tell me you feel the same way”

You felt your throat tighten, your body tensing in his hold as he rested his forehead against yours, your nose bumping against his. He held you even closer to him, your hands gripping onto his shirt feeling his warm breath gently fan onto your face, his lips just brushing against yours, just as soft as you’d imagined they’d be. You nearly gave into him, pulling away at the last second, tears rolling down your cheeks.

“What’s wrong, doll”

“We can’t-” You shook, hanging your head, overwhelmed over what all of this entailed, what this would mean to you, what you would do if this didn’t work, your baby boy came first-

“We can” Bucky cupped your cheeks, breaking you away from your spiral, swiping away the tears that fell, “We can baby, I promise we can”

“How- how do we make this work James, we come from two different worlds” You tried to reason with him but again this was more to yourself; how could you drop your entire life for this, risk everything for something so uncertain even though your heart yearned for it.

“Princess, I will show you everything, every damn thing under my name, I know it’s not perfect, but just let me show you. All of it. No secrets from you, not one. I promise, I won’t hurt you, not your baby, I care about you. I care about you both”

“James-”

“Just give me a chance” His grip around your waist tightened, wrapping his arms around you to hold you close, bringing one hand to cradle your face, tilting it to look up at him. “C’mon sweets, you’ve been chasing after me for ages” He smirked against your lips, kissing them softly. “Now you got me”

“Then we take things slow” You stated firmly, pressing your finger into his chest, “and no funny business Barnes” You swatted his hand away when he trailed them to the hem of your robe, brushing your bare thigh making goosebumps erupt all over your skin. He chuckled at the pointed look you gave him, trying and failing at hiding how turned on you were. “And Jordan can’t know yet” His face softened, nodding in agreement, understanding where you were coming from.

“Just me and you” He kissed you again, gentle and sweet, a promise of taking things your way, baring his heart and soul to you in any way you asked. It didn’t matter how badly he wanted to claim you in every way, make you his at the alter if you let him, be a daddy to your baby boy. He’d wait as long as you needed.

“Just me and you”

Steve and Sam had easily put two and two together as soon as they got back home, noting their boss was smiling like an idiot to himself most of the time, a stark contrast from his signature grumpy scowl. They never said anything, but they did pride themselves as being part o the reason this happened; after all they were the ones who conspired with your little one to get you two alone.

If Bucky was sweet before, he was tooth rottingly adorable now but only when it was just the two of you. You didn’t dare breathe a word to Jordan, not wanting to give him false hope if things didn’t work out. Truthful to his word, he came clean about everything. With each of his confessions, the world turned into different shades of grey instead of black and white.

Nothing he did was legal.

Nor was it hurting those who were innocent.

Your dead beat of an ex had a clean criminal record and was a standup citizen until it came to being a father and decent human being. Your son hardly thought twice about him. Bucky had killed more people than fingers on your hands but Jordan adored him.

When it was just the two of you, Bucky turned into a teddy bear, constantly kissing and hugging you, romantic as ever when he got the chance. He’d send the cooks away so he could make dinner, run you a bath when you had a long day, massage your feet while you sat on his desk in his office. He’d be on calls, the phone resting between his shoulder and ear while his calloused fingers would work at your toes, gently rubbing and pressing the aches out, before massaging up your calves. As soon as you heard the patter of little feet down the hall, you’d hop off and slink away, hiding the smile on your face when your son would take your place instead, plopping himself in Bucky’s office noting he was blushing again for some reason.

You still hadn’t been intimate with him yet. As much as he wanted you, Bucky didn’t let you feel an ounce of pressure, no matter how badly he wanted to love on you completely and show you exactly how much he adored you in the closest way possible. He relished in every second he got to spend with you, especially the select nights he got alone with you.

Like tonight.

“Promise you’ll try and be nice to Uncle Bucky?” Jordan cocked his head with hopeful eyes, still hoping his ship would sail of getting you both together. Thus far, nothing seemed to have changed and his hopes were starting to drop. “Please?”

“I’ll try” you giggled, pressing a kiss to the top of his head before he slipped into the dark SUV with Bucky’s side pieces in tow, Sam, Steve and Peter all grinning widely for a boys trip over the weekend. “No promises though baby”

“Yeah officer, play nice with our boss” Steve winked while Sam cackled, closing the door and revving off, leaving the large mansion absolutely empty. The cleaning staff, gardeners s and cooks had been given the weekend off along with a generous bonus to keep them away for a few days. You slipped into one of Bucky’s t-shirts which hung loosely on you, not bothering to wear anything else underneath. You inhaled the soft scent of the fabric, his cologne and something distinctly him lingering on the fabric making you feel warm and fuzzy. The sound of keys hitting the keyboard carried through the hall; Bucky typing away at his computer but you couldn’t help wanting to be wrapped up in his arms, quietly peeking into his office and padding over to him.

“My pretty girl” He cooed, scooping you in his arms while you curled up on his lap, playing with his chains as he continued to work. “You miss me, baby?”

“You wish” You bit your lip, playfully rolling your eyes, knowing damn well you had missed him like crazy after he holed himself up with work business. “Don’t flatter yourself”

“You’re the one slinking around me, kitten” Bucky tilted your chin up pecking a tiny kiss on your nose, making you giggle. “C’mon, I wanna cuddle with my girl” He murmured in your ear making you shiver. He held you to his chest as he picked you up and carried you over to his room, setting you down on his bed before walking over to the closet and slipping on some sweats. He didn’t bother with a shirt, striding with his grey joggers riding low around his waist, giving you a pretty view of his Adonis belt, pointing straight to his-

“Angel” He crawled on top of you, humming at the feeling of your soft body under his, peppering kisses from your neck to your jaw, eventually pressing them against your lips. The kiss started soft and slowly, gradually getting more heated when you grazed his scalp with your nails, gasping at the feeling of his erection pressing against your clothed core. You instinctively moved your thighs further apart, granting him more access to rut against you, panting each time he groaned, his tongue slipping into your mouth.

He didn’t pull away until he needed air, his warm breath fanning against your face, hearts beating erratically. This had been the closest you’d ever been with each other, your thighs gently squeezing around his waist, making him thrust against you, drawing a out a moan. Bucky lost himself for a moment, gently caressing his thumb on your cheek, the other hand cradling your head, his large frame keeping you safely tucked underneath him, hidden from the rest of the world.

Exactly what he wanted.

Safe in his arms.

“Do you want this?” Bucky stopped what he was doing to check on you, his hand still softly stroking your skin. “We can stop, we don’t have to do this tonight-

“Don’t stop” you whispered, pulling him back, your arms clinging around his shoulders, eyes pleading for him to do something.

“I’ve wanted this for so long baby” He sat back on his heels, toying with the hem of your tshirt, his thick cock straining against painfully against his sweats. “Can I?” He waited for your permission before carefully removing your top off and ridding himself of his sweats and boxers, desperately just wanting to feel your bare skin against his. You felt too needy, too desperate for him, whining when he pulled away to settled between your legs, pressing a delicate kiss to your inner thigh.

“Just want you James, please?” You pouted, feeling empty when his leaky cock was right there, though his sinful mouth was tempting.

“Just one taste, angel?” He begged, inching down to your soaked pussy, spreading your folds apart before sealing his lips around your swollen clit, his eyes rolling back at the way your legs suffocated him.

“J-James” You moaned out, your hand going down to tug at his roots, grinding your pussy on his face, his groans adding vibrations to your sensitive nub. He felt greedy, burying his tongue deep in your cunt, lapping and drinking every drop your body was willing to give, his arms coming up to hold your legs apart, his head shaking side to side. He sucked and licked until you were a babbling mess, clawing at his shoulders to pull him back on top of you, bucking your hips up against his thick hard length.

“What do you need, pretty baby” Bucky cooed, soothing your whimpers with his cock rubbing through your folds, hushing you gently.

“Want you James, please?”

“I got you sweets, don’t worry, you ready?” He kept his eyes locked with yours, holding still until you nodded, the blunt tip of his cock pushing into your pulsating entrance.

“Oh fuck-” You cried at the way his girth started to fill you, your pussy tightly hugging his cock, a gentle delicious burn radiating through your lower half, stretching open for him. “Baby-”

“Shhhh” Bucky continued to slowly inch inside you, pressing soft kisses along your neck, his body weight resting on top of you, “It’s just me sweets, just your Bucky”

“Fuck, Bucky” Your nails dug into his shoulders, nearly breaking the skin, hissing at the way you could almost feel him in your belly.

“Breathe, Its just you and me baby, just you and me, yeah?” He kissed your temple, feeling just as desperate and needy as you, his cock throbbing at the way it felt to hold you, kiss you, feel all of you, be inside you.

“Just-just you and me” You whispered, clinging onto his body as he continued to press into you, groaning at the way your pussy fluttered around him, pulling him deeper.

“Thats my good girl” His large hand held your thigh up higher on his waist, fully sheathing himself inside you. Bucky panted against your neck in an attempt to calm himself down, feeing his balls already pulling towards his body, his cock thumping, ready to blow. He started with slow languid thrusts, savoring the pretty moans you made for him, your softness connected to him.

“Such a pretty mama” His lips brushed against yours, loving the soft touch of your skin, his hands feeling every inch of your body. He sat back on his heels, keeping his cock deep inside you, groaning at the sight of your body on full display just for him, your lip caught between your teeth, feeling hot under his intense gaze.

“Fuck- Fuck right there baby, please, right there!” You sobbed in pleasure as Bucky moved your thighs up, practically folding you in half, hitting an even deeper angle, rubbing perfectly at your gspopt. “Don’t-don’t stop-”

“I won’t stop, mama” He traced the delicate lines of stretch marks that were scattered across your lower belly and thighs, evidence of the sweet baby boy your body had given you, the boy he also now grew to love. “Wanted to make love to you for so long baby. wanted you to feel how much I care about you, make you feel so good” Bucky’s emotions were all over the place, feeling pleasure and love for you at an all time high.

His eyes were locked at there the two of you connected, snapping his hips forward, watching your tummy bulge with each thrust, cream covering the trimmed curls at his base. Your broken moans spurred him off, collapsing on top of you with your legs slung over his shoulders, his cock impossibly deep. His hands snaked up to pin your arms above your head, your fingers intertwined with his, keeping you completely surrendered to him.

“I love you” He whispered, voice thick with emotion, foreheads pressed together, not a single part of your body not touching his. “and everything you brought into this world”

“I-I love you” You half sobbed and stuttered out, eyes rolling back feeling him work his hips faster, pushing you against the pillows and pounding you into the mattress. “FUCK-JAMIE-THERE-R-RIGHT-TH-THERE”

“S’that your spot babygirl? Right there, huh angel, god you make me wanna blow, you sound so pretty with my cock in you” Bucky groaned, no longer able to hold back, moaning along with you, the sound of skin slapping on skin growing faster and louder. “Fuck-cum baby, cum on this dick, cum on my dick, s’all yours angel, give me that cream”

“YES-YES-OH-Jamiee!” Your back bowed, legs shaking and trembling as your orgasm started to pulse, waves of please growing more and more intense as he fucked you through your high. Your greedy pussy sucked him in deeper, pulling him closer and closer.

“Yeah, m’your Jamie baby” Bucky let out a soft chuckle at the new name you’d given him, one only you’d ever be able to use. It got him off more, his pace losing rhythm, his own climax just at the edge. “Just your Jamie angel, only for you, fuck baby, m’gonna cum for you, all this is for you” He tucked his face into the crook of your neck, moaning loudly and nipping against your skin as he started to pump you full of his cum, giving you sloppy thrusts, making sure you were filled with every drop.

You cooed and rubbed his body while he panted, his cock slowly beginning to soften, tucking himself further into your hold. You smiled at how soft and loving he was in that moment, pressing a delicate kiss to his forehead, his blue eyes peering up at you at the feeling of your lips.

“Look at my pretty girl being all sweet on me” He grinned, yelping at the pinch you gave to his side.

“Don’t make me cuff you, Barnes” You huffed while pink dusted his cheeks at the thought, his mind now going other places.

“Threatening me with a good time, sweetheart?” He smirked, wrapping his arms around you and rolling over, pinning you back against the mattress again, this time his hands locking around your wrists. “S’that what you want pretty girl? To have my in cuffs? Do everything you ask? Be a good girl for me and I’ll let you have your way with me one day officer”

“Be a good girl for you?” You smirked, wrapping your legs around his waist, bucking your hips up against his sensitive cock, making him hiss, nipping your bottom lip between his teeth, making you whimper.

“Careful babygirl, don’t forget who you’re in bed with” His lips continued to brush against you, grazing your skin down to your collar bone. “Let me remind you, sweets”

As soon as the boys were back, Jordan ran full speed to you, jumping in your arms first, talking your ear off about all the ridiculous antics he had done with Steve, Sam and Peter. You huffed, playfully rolling your eyes while keeping him on your hip, before setting him down on his feet and instructing him to wash up so he could tell you everything properly over dinner. Jordan clung onto you for just a second longer, he could’ve sworn there was a faint scent of cologne that clung onto you, one just like-

While you were entranced with your little one, Bucky was entranced with you. Effortlessly swaying with your baby who was clearly not exactly a tiny baby anymore, the scrunch on of your nose when you smiled around him, the way your eyes sparkled. Jordan ran up two steps at a time to shower as fast as humanly possible while Bucky snuck up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist. He pulled you to his chest, his sneaky hands pawing at your hips, slipping up your shirt.

“You’re such a milf” Bucky smirked while you gasped, smacking his chest, eyes darting around the room to see if anyone heard.

“Bucky” You hissed, squeaking, your face growing hot when he hugged you tighter, burying his face into your hair.

“It’s true though princess, God damn” He kissed up the side of your neck, “Such a pretty mama, can’t help it”

“Yeah, well your little side kick is going to want to tell you all about the weekend” You giggled, wiggling out of his hold and walking off to the kitchen to get dinner started while Bucky hummed, making his way to the office. Jordan scrubbed himself down within seconds before rushing back down to tell you everything, eyeing you curiously while you set his plate in front of him.

“Isn’t that Uncle Bucky’s shirt?” He pipped up, with owlish eyes, waiting for your asnwer.

“Oh-so it is” You looked down at the black tshirt you were wearing, one that went to the middle of your thighs. “Uh-Must’ve gotten mixed up in the laundry” You shrugged, hoping he wouldn’t ask anything else.

As if you’d ever get so lucky.

“But it’s so big on you-”

“Tell me about your weekend baby” You cut him off while Jordan narrowed his eyes at you accusingly, deciding he’d have better luck elsewhere instead of prying with you. He gave you his best summarized version before running back upstairs and taking his designated spot beside Bucky (going to the fridge first to grab himself some juice).

“Mommy was wearing your shirt” He stated, inching closer to Bucky, noting the way the Mob bosses’ eyes grew wide, his cheeks blushing deeply, crawling down his neck and up to his ears.

“I-Uh-Oh-”

Not once had Jordan ever see Bucky get flustered except when it involved you, his hopes growing high again, also why did Bucky smell like your shampoo-

“Maybe-maybe it got switched in the laundry?”

“You never do laundry, the cleaners do”

“They were away this weekend, J”

“So it was just you and mommy”

“Yup”

“Whatcha do”

“......work”

“What did mommy do”

“....laundry?”

“The whole weekend?”

“Yup”

“You smell like her”

*silence*

*Blushing intensifies*

*Little shy smile creeps on Bucky’s face*

“Did you finally tell mommy you like her? Oh God, you’re pink again” Jordan sat right up, eyes wide with anticipation while Bucky bit his lip before answering.

“I did”

“So...”

“So?”

“Can I call you dad, now?” Jordan’s voice was a whisper again, the confidence he had all this time turning into nervousness, playing with his fingers, avoiding Bucky’s eyes. Bucky felt his heart melt, pulling him onto his lap, pressing a gentle kiss to his head, the little one curling himself up slightly, still looking at his hands. Bucky felt warmth all over, thinking back to a conversation he had with you a little while ago, just before Jordan had came home, one that would stick with him for the rest of his life.

“Are you sure this is what you want” You asked hesitantly, toying with the hem of your pj’s while Bucky tilted your face up to look at him, hearing the anxiety in your voice.

“What do you mean?” “It’s not just me Bucky, it’s both of us” You whispered, wondering if Bucky fully understood what he was signing up for. “I-I don’t want you to ever feel like-like he isn’t yours. I know he’s not and I know you care about him but I’m scared you’ll want us now and then later you won’t-” Bucky softly pressed his finger to your lips, silencing you, not willing to hear another word.

“Where is this coming from” He held you closer while you nervously chewed your lip.

“I’m a single mom. My job isn’t the most attractive. I’m not the first person people line up to date. I didn’t do any of this for so long because I’m terrified anyone that comes into my life will leave and I can’t do that to Jordan-”

“That’s my baby now too” His hands held your cheeks firmly, each of his words coming straight from his soul. “I want to be there for him sweetheart, if you’d let me. If you ever want me out, I won’t .Just say the word, I’m here”

“It’ll be a lot Bucky”

“What haven’t I seen yet, baby” Bucky shrugged while you began to list reasons. “Sometimes he’s moody”

“So is his mommy-OW”

“Sometimes he can have a temper-Don’t you dare say it”

“Occasional picky eater”

“He’s still learning how to multiply”

“He’ll be a teenager in a few years”

“He’ll want to drive the SUV”

“He’ll want to try the spicy apply juice”

“He thinks your a hero”

“You’ll be there?”

“I’ll be there”

“S’that what you want?” Bucky decided to ask Jordan one more time, giving your baby the choice to take it back if it wasn’t something he was sure about but your son eagerly nodded, his face splitting into a grin. He leapt off the sofa sprinting off down the hall, his voice echoing through the mansion.

“MOMMY, DADDY SAID I COULD CALL HIM DAD. UNCLE STEVE, OUR PLAN WORKED”

“You went from trying to stick him in prison to life to being stuck with him for life, how the turn tables”

You groaned, doing a terrible job and hiding the smile that crept on your face, your partner waving to the black SUV that was parked outside, waiting for you while you packed your things for the end of the day.

“Just to be clear, we’re no longer trying to arrest him right? You looooove him” You threw a pad of sticky notes at your partners head while she cackled, green eyes twinkling.

“Shut up, Romanoff”

“Set me up with his cute best friend, that blonde cutie sitting in the front seat” She cocked an eyebrow while you snorted, nodding to your boss as he walked by your desk.

“Took you long enough” Your boss playfully rolled his eyes, sending you a wink before making his way to his office. You smiled at the pretty blue eyes that watched you as you walked over, holding the door open and closing it for you, lips all over your face as soon as the locks clicked shut.

“Have a good day at work, officer?” He chuckled, pulling you to his lap, nuzzling into you while you sighed contently, tossing your gun and badge aside, melting into Bucky’s arms. You giggled at the glitter that was dusted into his hair after he spent the previous night helping Jordan with a school project, ruffling your hands through his soft locks, pulling him down for a long kiss. “Let’s go home”

Tags: @glxwingrxse @hungryyeyess @sebsgirl71479 @beabutterfly987 @teambarnes72 @witchywhore @jamesbuckybarneswify @slutforsexyseabass @chrisdrysdale @littlemarvelmenfan @buggy14 @whimsyplaty92 @sergntbarnes @inkedaztec @pono-pura-vida @moonlightreader649 @brooklynscherry-z @elle14-blog1 @justsebstan @littlelightnings @happyt0exist @emmabarnes @bethyruth @matchat3a @cjand10 @getwellsoontana @cherryschaos @lokisasgardianvampirequeen @ashenc-blog @buckybarnessimpp @potatothots @goldylions @high-functioning-lokipath @morganemorganite-blog @kingfleury @peaches1958 @spiderman-stilinski @peaceinourtime82 @gublur @wintersmelodie @geeky-politics-46 @lolawassad @almosttoopizza @a-poor-gryffindork @alternativeprincess @buckycallsmeaslut @kamaria-sweet-writes @charmedbysarge @xnorthstar3x @kryoee7 @alina02 @gh0stgurl @polishprincess999 @jessybarnes @alltheficsiwant @chemtrails-club @eralen @perdidosbucky-yyo @clqrosmgc @buckybarnessweetheart @pandaxnienke @manyfandomsfanvergent

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kissitbttr · 2 years

Text

eddie and mean!cheerleader have their first fight pt.2

read part 1

a/n: definitely no interactions between the two. just more of their perspectives and thoughts on what’s going on (but mostly from eddie)

he’s losing his mind.

days without her just feels against the law but he knows he has no one to blame but himself.

for almost two weeks since they had that fight at the field, not even a phone call or a glance were exchanged. avoiding each other at school and out. he can’t sleep nor think knowing that he’s hurt the only girl he has ever cared for. even cried himself to sleep to the thought of losing her completely. it just doesn’t sit well with him.

she’s not doing so great either. he’d would spot her from across the room with sunglasses perched on the bridge of her nose—to cover her red eyes and dark circles—messy bun along with a hoodie and a skirt. the colors she chose just look so depressing and it’s like he’s looking at a different person. not to mention, a hoodie? definitely not something she’d wear.

steve and robin had also informed him about her attitude. how she rarely snaps at someone and putting lip gloss during classes. which worries him because it’s one of her favorite things to do! she hasn’t even tried to confront rebecca after all that shenanigans.

he assumes she had been crying and losing her happiness because of him. and the thought just breaks him even more.

“why don’t you try to talk to her or something?” gareth speaks up, realizing that his best friend’s gaze hasn’t completely left hers,

she’s standing by the locker reading something from one of her books next to her best friend. who seems to be talking a lot and y/n can’t seem to find the fucks she could give to listen.

eddie wants nothing more than to walk up from behind and surprise her by giving kisses down her neck until she giggles. telling him to stop though knowing deep down she doesn’t want him to..

“it’s not that simple, man” he scoffs, putting away his lunch box into the locker. “she hates me. she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore.”

“how do you know for sure? ever since the two of you had a fight, you never even tried to fix things. it’s not her fault if she shut you out. you hurt her, eddie.”

“gee, thanks for the reminder” he responds sarcastically with an eye roll. walking away from the locker with gareth trailing from behind, but not without shooting her one more glance.

he sighs to himself because how did he even manage to fuck up this bad?

“i know I shouldn’t have said all those things. fuck I didn’t know what i was thinking! i love her more than anything and it pains me to know that she’s hurt because of me.” he knock himself in the head, earning a concerned look from his best friend,

“okay now. don’t do that to yourself like that, eds.” gareth squeezes his shoulder blade. “it’s not the end of the world. just… try, okay? the boys missed having her during our campaigns. and I’m sure you missed her too.”

he does. he really, really does.

“jason’s throwing a party tonight. you coming?” one of the cheerleaders ask, punching her fork down on the depressing salad that looks like it’s not even edible,

y/n grimaces at the food before answering. “what makes you think i care about that?”

“well you know.. i just thought that you need a break or something.. for everything that has been going on.”

she hums, looking at her dead in the eye. “and what makes you think you know exactly what’s going on with my fucking life?”

the girl looks baffled, obviously taken aback by y/n’s tone. she should’ve know not to mess around with her,

“n-nothing! i mean i think-“

“don’t. nuh-uh. don’t think. don’t even try to sympathize with me.” y/n cuts her off, pointing her finger at the girl to shut her up.

the girl mutter a quick ‘sorry’ before going back to her business and chatting away with the other cheerleader. scooting a bit further to avoid her.

y/n feels like she’s going crazy if people kept doing that. it’s not like she’s dying or anything.

maybe on the inside, sure. because without eddie, her life feels so incomplete. call her corny but it’s true. her thoughts are consumed by him and she hates herself for it.

because he hurt her, bad. using her insecurity against her during a fight? a fucking low blow. she could take it if it was someone else who said it, but him? she never expected that to happen.

“babe, you do need that.” y/n’s friend maya pipes in, nudging her side. “maybe she’s right. you need to take your mind off of it for just one night. it doesn’t sound too bad”

y/n looks at her with her brows dipping in. “you’re taking pippi longstocking’s side?”

“bitch, I’m not taking anyone’s side! but i love you! and i hate to see you like this because, navy blue hoodie, really?” she looks down at her outfit. “it’s not you, babe.”

“ugh, can’t people stop commenting on that? i get it alright! but I can’t wear pink or purple if I’m not feeling it.”

“exactly!” maya exclaims, “you know how much i appreciate eddie but girl you have to stop sulking. sorry to say this but it’s quite pathetic to look at you. i cannot stand seeing you like this. come to the party with me, who knows you’ll start to feel like yourself again. even if it’s just for one night.”

“you said that” y/n replies with a cookie in her mouth. “shit this tastes so good! do you think they have it in peanut butter? might need it for protein.”

“y/n focus!” maya scolds, feeling slightly irritated at her best friend’s behavior. “please? you know booze and chips are your favorite”

she groans, throwing her head back. smacking the goey dessert down to her plate. “fine. you had me at chips. but there better be chamoy. or naan. otherwise clock me out.”

maya squeals, clapping her hands in excitement before giving her best friend a kiss on the cheek. to which she looks at her in disgust, wiping the kiss off. shooting her a ‘I’ll kill you if you do that again’ look

“you can count on me, sweetheart!”

y/n tries her best to give a convincing smile. and she wanted to not care so badly about eddie, but every now and then her eyes would wander around the halls and cafeteria. searching for that adorable and expressive boy with brown curls that made her fall in love.

she swears to herself that she wouldn’t let anyone treat her like shit anymore. even eddie advised that to her one night at the party where they first had conversation. so what changed?

was he getting sick of her? did brandon or kenneth came up to him and warn him about the crazy insecure bitch? or maybe he’s finally coming into his senses? that he needs someone who’s calm and collected. someone like chrissy cunningham or alexa berry from algebra.

it’s weird to be having this kind of feeling. she may appears to be tough and confident on the outside but most of the time, it’s solemnly for protection. no one wants to mess with you if you’re a bitch. and the best thing about that is no one will ever know if it’s real or fake.

see, she’s good at pretending and masking her insecurities. hence why she would never tell anyone her deepest secrets.

not being good enough.

and maybe that’s the truth. she’s not good enough for eddie. not good enough for brandon. because if she were then he wouldn’t have cheat on her, right?

good and healthy kind of love seem too far off for her now. maybe she will never be perfect for it.

tonight is supposed to be campaign night with the boys. dustin and the rest of the kids had prepared everything but eddie can’t seem to find the energy to do it, his heart isn’t in the right place at the moment. even if he did play, y/n is going to be on his mind during it. just like any other night.

obviously the boys prefer having their dungeon master there, and they thought about encouraging him to come despite everything that has been going on. however , one glare from eddie was all it takes to make them back away. it’s better to leave him alone.

and since they also would not appreciate the idea of postponing, eddie gave them a permission to do it without him.

he prefers to be alone right now. hiding at the comfort of his own bedroom, blasting on the mixtape y/n had given him while rolling up a joint. who would’ve thought that the jacksons 5 could make him cry like a baby?

“don’t you know… i sit around with my head hanging down and I wonder who’s lovin you…” he’s singing off key, choking on his own words when the last sentence hit,

he hopes no one is loving her like he does. as selfish as it sounds, he wants to be the only person who’s doing it. to treat her like she deserves to be treated, shower her with love and affections like no one has ever done.

but how the hell is he supposed to do that when she doesn’t even want to look at him anymore?

“well, you did it Munson. fucked up the only good thing that life has ever offered. hope you’re proud of yourself” he chuckles humorlessly, unscrewing the cap of his beer bottle before chugging it

his eyes snap towards the clock. it’s almost 1am and he curses to himself, realizing that he has been drowning himself in self pity for almost two hours, drinking and smoking alone.

maybe they’re right. all of those people who said that she’s too good for him were probably right on the money. why would he ever think that their relationship could last? she deserves to be seen with a golden boy. definitely not him.

someone like Jason Carver, Anthony Smith or Brandon.

fucking. Brandon.

as he about to crack open another beer under his bed, the sound of phone ringing from the living room suddenly startle him. he pays no mind to it and let the phone rings until it stops, because who in the right mind could be calling him at this hour? especially since it’s his house number.

no one has ever called his number in a million years. except the new divorcee that lives two trailers away.

“he really needs to stop giving numbers to women, man” eddie mutters, referring to his uncle.

few seconds after the phone dies down, it rings again. eddie screwed his eyes shut feeling slightly irritated that it had the nerve to interrupt his pity party. why can’t he just be left alone,

“alright, alright. jesus” he mutters, rising up to his feet before walking out of his room. taking long strides towards where the phone is, hand clasping around it to answer,

“Munson’s residence, how can i help you?” he holds the phone by the ear. slurring a bit over his words and burping after.

“eddie?”

his eyes widen and body stills when he recognizes who the voice belongs to. finding himself sobering up real quick as the alcohol in his systems slowly washing away.

“y/n-y/n? hi… what’s wrong, is everything okay?” his protective instincts immediately appears, detecting the tone in her voice, he assumes she’s in trouble.

he could hear the loud music over the phone. she’s probably at a party. and he doesn’t miss the sound of his girl screaming at someone to leave her alone if he doesn’t want his balls to get chopped. it almost makes him laugh, but he figures it’s not the time.

“i know I’m supposed to hate you right now but can you come pick me up please? I’m at Jason’s party and fuck, these people are scaring me. i-i think they’re doing…what my dad was doing” she trembles, frowning at the sight of kids swallowing pills and inhaling white powder.

eddie tenses. knowing exactly what she’s talking about. he nods quickly although she can’t see him, heart breaking and the worry grows after hearing how frightened she is. especially when he’s not there to protect her.

“okay, baby. just sit tight and touch nothing, all right? I’ll be there in 10 or less. i love you” he mentally slaps himself for letting the last sentence blurt out. hanging up before he gets to hear her response. embarrassment is the last thing he needs right now,

he sprints outside with keys in his hand, not bothering to write a note for his uncle since he’ll be working late. well it’s not like he’d read them anyway.

she is undoubtedly one tough woman. toughest one he has ever met. batshit crazy and unfiltered. but to be in a room where people do drugs and watch them get high off those things just bring so many bad memories revolving around her dad.

he could imagine her face right now and the anxiety seeping in being around those people. even he hates it. his brain is now filled with images of his girl being vulnerable, possibly hiding herself out from the party. that drives him to keep punching the gas, not wanting to hit the brakes. and he’s probably going over the speed limit. he doesn’t care though

eddie has never been a wreck less driver. never was and never will be, but y/n is the only thing important to him right now.

breaking this down to three parts so we can focus more on y/n and eddie trying to fix things up on the next one:)

pt 3

tagging: @littlemiss-yeehaw @lacrymosa-24 @godsfavoritegirlll

#eddie munson angst #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x mean!cheerleader #eddie things #eddie munson blurbs

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