#breathe ez

[horsentale]

Become A Brand Ambassador

Interested in becoming a brand ambassador or sponsored rider? Horse N Tale Topical Equine Products are on the lookout to add brand ambassadors or sponsored riders to our team. We are now accepting applications for our sponsored rider and brand ambassador programs for the 2024!!! Ideally you will be familiar with our products and be able to share with others about how and why you feel Horse N…

[gojoest]

yea yamada very correct 👍

[ink--theory]

so who’s ready for tonight? :]

[fioreofthemarch]

Before and after Kaam Ya’Tak (Trial of Power) Shrine

[seducingavampire]

me, too scared and not allowed to slam doors or raise my voice when I was angry as a kid and wanting to do those things now to get out the bad feelings and be able to deal with things constructively 🤝 my loved ones, triggered by those things and not being able to deal with things constructively if they happen

[daemoninfluff]

,,,, kinda mad rn cause I spend ca 7 min each on two IQ tests (one of them said it was for free) and for both I'm supposed to pay to get my results

[darklittlebutterfly]

I’m just drowning….. that’s all.

[luckyemo]

This is what I’m saying re hinata/kamukura split but not being cringe in someone else post lol

[ventismacchiato]

O4 stuck with you — screaming and fighting !

scaramouche x gender neutral reader

You and Scaramouche were dragged backstage and away from prying eyes, faces flushed and chests rising as the adrenaline from the argument on stage had yet to wear off. The dressing room was still, only filled with you both throwing insults at one another. The rest of your group members shared sheepish looks with one another, deciding to let you both get it out of your system.

As soon as the door was tightly shut you whirled around to face Scara.

“You just always have to get the last word, don’t you?” you asked, stepping closer to him.

“You’re the one who started yelling at me, I was just defending myself,” Scaramouche replied, his tone equally heated, but his posture was much more composed than you. 

“You’re the one who told me to give up,” you accused. 

“Yeah, give up the trophy so I could hold it,” Scara sighed.

“Yeah, as if you deserve to hold it.”

“Now that you mention it, I do deserve it more than you.” 

“You don’t know what it’s like to actually work for something,” you glared, voice laced with contempt, “You probably get everything handed to you by your mom.”

He glanced away, abruptly uncomfortable. “You shouldn’t talk. Your voice is even more unpleasant when you’re whining.” 

Naturally, you kept talking

“That’s the only reason you’re even here with the rest of us,” you continued, letting your jealousy cloud your senses, “I can’t be the only one who thinks that.”

Scaramouche’s face hardened. He scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Whatever," he muttered, shoving his way past you to leave the dressing room before turning around one last time.

“Nobody even knew she was my mother until I became a trainee. I used a different name on the application forms. But if hanging onto that little fact makes you feel better about being so pathetic then be my fucking guest.” 

And with that he slammed the door behind him.

You hated the way he could make you inexplicably self-conscious. It used to be a foreign sensation, one left behind long ago in insecure adolescence.

You stood there, breathing heavily, as the door swung shut. The room was silent, everyone stunned by the intensity of the confrontation.

Lumine stepped up and placed a comforting hand on your shoulder, slowly guiding you outside to cool off. 

“We’re also gonna head back,” Aether awkwardly laughed, grabbing Childe and Kazuha by their collars and dragging them out.

“So, that just happened.”

“Shut up, Venti.”

“We really need to broaden your vocabulary, Y/n. Your insults could be better.”

“You too, Fischl! Zip it!”

stuck with you!

masterlist — prev | next

begging u guys to let me use ur usernames as fans in this au pls let me make u a crazy stantwt user xx but pls comment on the masterlist so i see it

also everyone saying scara keeps eating yn up w insults is sending me 😭😭

title from the way i loved you by ts it suits scarayn so well

synopsis — after the disaster that was the live award show, where you and scaramouche got into an argument on stage after both of your groups got a tie for top artists, your guys' PR teams have been in shambles trying to scrape up your mess. that's when the idea to send you both off with some other idols to a remote location for a survival dating show to mend your public image comes up. before you know it your bags are packed and you’re on a plane to a remote island. the only obligation is you need to end up with scaramouche at the end of the show, whether you end up liking him or not doesn’t matter to your managers as long as the show’s ratings stay high. whatever you do in between to get there is up to you!

notes — 👍 leave me comments and asks instead of begging for updates pleek i need motivation to post more

taglist — @na1lea @cindywasneverhere @lunavixia @aestherin @mlaakai @camvrin @retiredmommylover @iheartpieck @jangyung @cartierfiles @loveariel @silly-ez @mochipls @pomeiu @chuuismylife @flowerypesky @creammpuff @justanothertiredreader @boxdisappeared @kissmiere @kissingkzuha @webbywill @kazusboyfriend @s3xpistolss @pjsucks @bunns-wonderland @lordbugs @localgirlywithnolife @kosumos @danfelions @featuredtofu @pinxeajin @herebyaccident0 @haeunoo @scaradooche @pglt19 @chemiru @childesbabygirl @simonisferal @shutingstar @vxcmx @domimiki @ttalgi @esuz @tokkishouse @kitsuvil @scarasmood @ihearttori @nomurahayami @starringyau @androxphobic

[dontexpectmuch]

hiii

can you do a oneshot of jude being clingy all day to the female reader?

thank uu

your limbs felt heavy, almost like you were tied down to your bed, your chest the only thing that’s moving as it moves up and down, deep breaths leaving your nose as you slowly but surely come back to your senses.

you try to open your eyes, the brightness of your room making it harder than it needed to be. taking a nap during the day was definitely one of your favorite activities, especially after a long university day. and though your room is already filled with warmth radiating from the heater, you feel almost uncomfortably hot.

that is when you realize another source of warmth behind you, chest moving against your back as he deeply breathes in and out. not only is your body being covered with his body heat, no, jude also has his arms wrapped around your head, kind of like a deadlock, your cheeks being squished between his biceps.

you want to enjoy it, really, but with the heating on, the blanket over your bodies and judes naturally warm body, you feel stuffy.

his grip around your head isn’t tight, you could easily slip away, which you try, though you feel his arms tightening around you, now his leg thrown over yours under the blanket.

you tap his arm, voice low as your throat feels dry, “jude.”

you hear him mumble something under his breath, meaning he was awake, though he wouldn’t let you go. instead, he nuzzles his cheek against the top of your head, his body pressing against your back even more.

you try again, “jude, please, it’s warm.”

“five minutes.” his deep voice sends shivers down your back, and if it wasn’t for the heat surrounding you and your bladder reminding you that it needs to be emptied, you’d happily comply.

so, you do what any person in your position would do, you bite his arm, hard.

“dude.” jude whines, removing his arms from your head and turning to lay on his back, nose scrunching and eyebrows furrowed.

you laugh at his your expression, pressing one last kiss on his bare chest before getting up, heading to the bathroom.

the sound of the pasta boiling in the pot next to you feels the kitchen, drowning your voice as you hum long a song that was stuck in your head all day long. though you decided to take a break, you can`t help but think about all the studying that needed to be done. your shoulders feel tense, your head is pounding from the mere thought of sitting in front of all those books and understanding all those theories from your professor.

only when jude rests his head on your shoulder, his strong arms around your waist and his body pressed against your back, you relax, sighing as you lean against his body, lazily stirring the sauce in the pan.

“lets cuddle.” his breath feels hot against your neck, goosebumps feathering your skin.

you turn your head to look at your boyfriends face, smile gracing your lips, “lemme finish this, babe, we can cuddle afterwards.”

jude groans, lightly bumping his head against yours, “wanna cuddle now, miss you.”

if it wasn’t for the water in the pot that was threatening to spill over, you would have given in. but you quickly step out of his hold, moving forward to stir the pasta in the pot.

“i will come as soon as i am finished, babe, `kay?”

“but i want you now, it`s so boring without you, babe.” jude moved his hand up to your neck, thumb drawing circles against your skin.

yo take his hand to press a kiss against bis knuckles, a subtle way to apologize, “food needs to finished first.”

“`m not that hungry anyway!”

“jude.”

“fine.”

“where are you goin`?” jude immediately sits up as he watches you get up from the couch, stretching your arms above your head. his eyes are wide, all the sleepiness he felt a minute ago vanished.

“gotta pee.” you chuckle at his behaviour, “and, uh, you?” your ezes follow him as he, too, gets up, blanket abandoned on the couch.

“let`s go.” is all he says, holding your cold hand in his warm one, guiding the two of you to the bathroom. you are at a loss for words as you watch him take a seat on the side of the bathtub, opening the lid of the toilet seat, signaling you to, well, do your business. with him. watching you (?)

you don`t know why, but you decide to wait a minute, hoping that he will get up and leave you alone to do your business, though it never happens.

“babe?” jude looks at you confused, “everything okay?”

you sigh, “well, uhm, i was waiting for you to get out, y`know?”

jude giggles, shaking his head, “c`mon, `t`s not like i`ve never seen you naked.”

you scoff, taking his hand to make him stand up before you push him out of the bathroom, “still, i wanna do this, eh, in private. go back to the couch, won`t take long.” you shut the door behind you, judes big eyes looking at you pleadingly being your last sight of him.

as soon as you`re done, you open the door, eyes landing on jude who seems to have stayed on the same spot, waiting for you.

you laugh, “babe, for real?”

he shrugs, his hand finding yours once more as you walk back to your living room, taking place under the blanket again, his arms now around your waist and your head on his warm chest.

“i missed you.” he sighs, his cheek resting against your head.

you decide to not comment on his weird behavior today, enjoying his presence, “i missed you, too.”

exams are a pain in the ass, hope u still like this one though it is a bit short.

good night. 🥹

[horsentale]

Amazing Natural Horse Products

These are amazing natural horse products that are really helping horses naturally. I have had great success with these products.

These are amazing natural horse products that are really helping horses naturally. I have had great success with these products. I’ve used a variety of them. I have healed up badly scraped up legs to helping one focus. Used the KnotEz mane and Tail detangler and conditioner to undo dreadlocks. Got rid of long term and newly formed sarcoids and warts using Sarcoid & Wart Off. Really liking what…

[beebotea]

☁️ ˖⁺ thinking of collegeboy!kayn

pairing: heartsteel!kayn x gn!reader genre: fluff, crack cw: probably ooc ngl, hearsteel is a rising boy band, kayn is annoying asf, slight jealousy, idk classmates to crush ig, reader is an ezreal stan i.e.: collegeboy!kayn headcannons

collegeboy!kayn who’s part of the rising boyband heartsteel

collegeboy!kayn who stands as one of their lead rappers and opens for their first single

collegeboy!kayn who has amassed a significant following outside of school for his looks and stage persona

collegeboy!kayn who has this arrogant, bad-boy-esque aura to him when he walks around the halls

collegeboy!kayn who you had the unfortunate luck to sit beside on your first day of class because he was in your program

collegeboy!kayn who often misses classes during band promotions

collegeboy!kayn who starts to fail his classes because of his horrible attendance and lack of study skills

collegeboy!kayn who you’ve been tasked by one of the department heads to tutor

collegeboy!kayn who was told to play nice during tutoring sessions or he’d be kicked from band activities if he failed a single class at the end of the semester

collegeboy!kayn who gets kicked out of all the public spaces you guys try to study at because he always makes too big of a scene at any minor inconvenience

collegeboy!kayn who brings you back to the dorms because you’re too embarrassed to step foot in public within a 10-meter radius of him, but he still needs you to help him pass his classes

collegeboy!kayn who gets annoyed when you start to fawn over ezreal when he greets you from the living room

collegeboy!kayn who drags you away by the wrist to cut your conversation off short, grumbling about not knowing what you see in the guy and how you’re sooo shallow for liking the pretty boy under his breath

collegeboy!kayn who yells at his mom yone for barging in during your study sesh and bringing in a plate of perfectly cut fruits

collegeboy!kayn who threatened to “beat the living shit” out of ez if he didnt stop flirting with you while he was trying to figure out maslow’s hierarchy

collegeboy!kayn who decides to lock the door after having k'sante peek his head in to “check on how you're both doing”

collegeboy!kayn who started to look forward to walking with you back to his dorm after class and spending time with you once a week

collegeboy!kayn who begins to do better in class with your consistent help every weekend

collegeboy!kayn who impulsively called you, excited that he got a b+ on one of his final exams

collegeboy!kayn who turns red in embarrassment when you tease him over the phone about never calling you prior (he always insisted he was a text-only type of guy)

collegeboy!kayn who couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed when you laughed, saying that he wouldn’t need you to tutor him anymore

collegeboy!kayn who, without thinking, said, “no! im still stupid, you have to keep tutoring me!”

collegeboy!kayn who mentally facepalms when you laugh at him again for being such a loser about it but quickly gets over it when you agree to keep helping him

collegeboy!kayn who finds himself thanking someone for the first time with a slight smile on his face before you disconnect the call

collegeboy!kayn who throws the nearest pointed object at sett and tells him to "fuck off" when he gets teased for looking so lovesick over a phone call of all things

collegeboy!kayn who slams the door of his bedroom shut and comically lets himself fall face-first into his pillow because he’s realized he has absolutely developed a crush on you at this point

collegeboy!kayn who thinks to himself with a smirk and decides it shouldn’t be too hard to win you over with his undeniable charm and good looks… right?

a/n: should i release a one-shot or multi-part ver of this? i got MORE!!! also are league fics a thing? idt ive ever seen them but oh well heartsteel kayn is just too UGHSAHJGSHJG

[frannyzooey]

On The Green: 1

Ezra x f!reader

Rating: Mature (violence, slight gore, killing - typical Ezra 😌 — will be explicit in later chapters)

Summary: Two strangers meet.

a/n: New series alert! Man alive first chapters are hard, and so I am going to yeet this into the universe before looking at it anymore. I owe everything to @bageldaddy for educating me hardcore and for being so extremely kind and thorough, and to @the-ginger-hedge-witch for her Ezra eyes and inspiration and to @familyvideostevie for her support and enthusiasm and notes. It took a VILLAGE to get through this one. Enjoy meeting our stranger. :)

--

You come to surrounded by unnatural stillness.

An absence felt in the air surrounding you, there is something about it that tugs at the foggy corners of your brain, beckoning you closer to the surface. You try to listen for anything beyond the ringing in your ears, and there is…something.

A beeping sound emerging through the fog, its incessant chirping grows clearer. You blink slowly, your limbs made of lead when you try to turn your head. Instead of trying to investigate, you let yourself slip slowly back into the lush darkness, closing your eyes.  

But the strangeness of the silence tugs at you, and the beeping gets louder. 

Splices of memory come through in sharp flashes: 

The deep, bone-shaking tremble of turbulence. 

The grating sound of tearing metal. 

Beeping - so much fucking beeping, every sensor in the transport pod going off - and the whole cabin jerking to the left, your body weight pushing against the fabric restraints, your dad’s voice raw with hoarseness as he screams orders at you and –

Oh shit. Your dad. 

Your eyes pop open, and you sit up - or rather, you try to, but every muscle resists. Battered and bruised, you fumble at your harness with clumsy, shaking fingers. Looking up as it finally clicks open, you’re about to leap from the chair when you freeze. 

He’s there next to you, unmoving. 

Dead. 

“Dad?” you whisper. 

You can see without even checking for a pulse that he’s gone. That’s the feeling that pulled you awake, the vibration of life gone from the air. The stillness weighs heavy in the small space, and the beeping gets shriller somehow, more noticeable in the utter silence. 

The pod shrinks to a claustrophobic dome, and your breathing starts to come fast. Harsh, rapid exhales out of your open mouth and then you’re vomiting, right onto the floor. A cold sweat breaks out under your thermals, and you swallow hard against more bile that threatens to come up. 

There is blood splattered on the dash, pooled around the buttons. A deep gash gouged across his temple, his left eye already swollen beyond recognition. You stare at the dark, pulpy wound that runs with blood and with a heave, lose the remaining contents of your stomach. 

To have hit his head like that, he must have unbuckled and tried to fix something mid-crash, but why? Why the fuck would he do that? He knew better than that. You try to think about the sequence of events, but there is only a blur. A foggy, black spot in your memory, hazy images obscured by panic. 

You remember pieces: watching Puggart Bench grow smaller as you ascended through the atmosphere. The vague details of your father’s latest scheme, along with promises that this would be your last job. The frustration you felt at those words – ones you’ve heard a million times. 

You remember rolling your eyes and slipping on your headphones, and then scolding you for not paying attention after he jabbed you in the shoulder to take them off, and then…this. Somehow this. Guilt settles deep in your gut. 

Keeping your dazed eyes glued to the floor, you ignore the blood and beeping and the dead fucking body. You crouch low in the safety of your chair, winding your grip around the harness strap as an anchor and you sit for a moment, trying to steady your breathing. 

You sit. 

And sit. 

–

“Think she’s got anything left?”

The words spread condensation across the lower half of his visor, and Ezra listens for an answer he already knows isn’t coming. 

He always asks anyway: a constant dangling bait, in hopes his partner will bite. 

He hasn’t yet. 

Ezra bends back over the rough dug pit, his fingers splaying through the loose dirt. Anything worth digging for is sealed in his case already, but he stalls, thinking. 

He had watched the pod streak across the sky; the sight not unusual on the Green. Mercs and prospectors landed here every day to try their luck on the uninhabitable planet, but the speed in which the pod broke through the sky was unusual. Ezra could tell it was going too fast, even from the ground. His dark eyes had tracked the potential opportunity’s descent from behind the shield of his visor, and when the ground shuddered with the impact, he felt it through his gloves. 

If it had landed safety, protocol would be to keep his distance – no use needlessly engaging in a potential threat. However, he doubted that was the case after watching it fall to the earth like a stone. If he had to guess, the occupants were probably dead, and therefore, in his favor. 

His old pod flashes through his mind; nonfunctional and by now, probably stripped bare. If he doesn’t get there quickly to stake his claim, this one could fall to the same fate. It didn’t look sizeable by any stretch of the imagination, but he doesn’t need big. 

He just needs enough to fit one man, and his case. 

Ezra keeps his voice light and conversational. 

“Did you feel that?”

He looks up at his silent partner, and is met with a blank stare. Or at least Ezra assumes it’s a blank stare, with the man’s visor blackened. He can’t see his face, and has never been able to. He’s had many offers of partnership while on the Green - some out of desperation, some through coercion, some forced upon him – and though his current partner is one of the latter, he had been secretly pleased at the sheer size of him. Brute strength a valuable commodity; the hulking man is more of a utility than a partner. 

“Think it’s worthy of our time to investigate, or do you suppose there won’t be much left after a landing like that? If you want, I can go it alone?”

Met with more silence, both from his partner and from the unforgiving atmosphere of the Green, Ezra grimaces with annoyance when his partner starts to walk in the direction of the site without him. 

“Hang on now. We approach together.” Climbing out of the pit, the loose soil slips under his boots. He scrambles up as quickly as he can, unwilling to see his chance at the remains slip through his dirt-crusted fingers. 

“Now then,” he breathes heavily. “I think it would be befitting of us to use caution in our approach. The passengers may still be alive, and feeling panicked enough to pose a risk. I think –”

The hulk appears to listen to half of what Ezra says, and then turns abruptly mid-sentence, walking away. 

Snatching up his case, Ezra switches off the comm link in his helmet and his expression falls from tactful to annoyance. His eyes narrow on the man’s broad back, his fingers itching for his thrower. 

Grumbling, he follows. 

“Fucking idiot.”

–

You’re going to have to touch it. 

You wonder what it will feel like – stiff with rigor? Still pliant with traces of warmth? Heavy and impossible to move?

In all the ways you imagined you’d probably find your father dead, you somehow hadn’t thought about the logistics of actually moving his body. You imagined someone else would be the one responsible for it. Medical staff, most likely, who were used to the clammy skin and the stiff weight of death. 

Not you. 

Yet another thing you’ll have to do unwillingly for him. 

The reason you’re on this godforsaken planet in the first place, he’d forced you along to help him pay a debt owed for those fucking drops he relied on to get through his days. Days that bled into nights spent waiting for him, more his parent than his child. A freefall into the nomad life since your mother died, you’d been trailing behind him for years - an afterthought, only remembered when he needed something. 

A reluctant digging partner when he forced you to be, but also a navigator, a cook, a laundress, a caretaker. You were a lot of things to him, but never the one you wanted to be the most. 

Never a daughter. 

Your eyes slowly scan the disarray of the cabin, taking in the damage. For all the things he asked you to do, he had kept you in the dark when it came to any actual useful skills that might help you in this situation. Prospecting, digging, self-defense – anything that would have afforded you a glimpse at the possibility of independence – all of those were kept from your reach. 

Never a mechanic either, unfortunately for you. How the fuck you’re going to fix this thing, you have no idea. The manuals for it were tucked away somewhere, but they required at least a basic understanding, and you have barely that. 

You could stick with the harvesting plan he had vaguely outlined to you on the way here (assuming you could even find the gems, let alone dig them up), try to come back and fix your pod during the evenings (assuming you could even figure it out) and then try to catch the next slingback home (assuming you could even get off this planet). 

Your other option would be…none. There are no other options. 

The entire situation expands into something overwhelming, each step far outside your base of knowledge and your breathing starts to come fast again. You scold yourself, willing it to slow. 

Panicking again isn’t going to help shit. 

Wrestling with your emotions, you take a deep inhale and close your eyes, focusing on the first step. 

Before anything else, you have to move him. 

–

Through the edges of lush greenery, a pod. 

Ezra tries to tamp down his excitement, kicking his senses into high alert to scan for whomever it belongs to - but there is nothing. 

Fucking silence, the bane of his existence. 

Though in this case, a good sign. 

His own pod taken from him months ago in a standoff between himself and his former crew, this off-white piece of rubbish appears as treasure to him. It’s banged up for sure: one of the engines loose from the frame and the metal surrounding the bottom crumpled from hard impact. Unlikely that anyone survived the crash, anticipation thrums through him at the harvest in front of him. 

Keeping his expression measured, he beckons his partner to approach with him, silently advising caution. 

The idiot doesn’t though. Instead, he stomps forward and punches at the hatch button with force. 

Ezra frowns deeply, anger slipping into his tone. “Hey,” he reprimands sharply. 

The man pays Ezra no mind as the ramp slowly opens. 

–

One hand extended towards your dad’s shoulder, it hangs hesitantly in the air for a moment. Inching forward, you try to summon every ounce of bravery that you have and just when it’s about to touch— 

A loud thump sounds outside the pod, and your hand jerks back. Crouching low along the side of the pod, you crawl through the ship's scattered contents all over the floor and grab the thrower, trying to desperately wind a sufficient charge for a shot or two. The rummaging outside grows louder, and you crouch behind your chair, gripping the weapon in your sweat slick hands. Panic floods through your veins, the sharp stink of fear oozing from your pores as your body shivers with adrenaline, and you flex your hold on your weapon.

The door to the pod opens with a hiss, and two men emerge. 

One slighter than the other, which isn’t saying much—anyone would be slight compared to the size of the second man. You aren’t even sure how he managed to get into the pod, between the width of his body and his height. 

Rising swiftly, you point the weapon at them. 

“Stop,” you force out, trying to mask the tremble in your voice. 

The lithe man freezes, surprise showing on his face for a split second before disappearing. Tilting his helmet in thought, he speaks. 

“Now this is something I’ve never seen in all my time in the Green,” he muses with a drawl. “A little girl.” 

A statement, not a question, and you bristle while he continues to study you curiously. 

“Leave, or I’ll shoot.” 

Your finger flexes on the trigger, and he raises his hands in front of him. 

“Calm down, little bird. My partner and I merely ventured this way to see if all was okay after that crash we heard.” His eyes scan the cabin, a scattered mess. “Seems it was quite the landing.”

Shuffling your stance a fraction closer, you keep the thrower trained on them. “I’m fine. Now please. Go.”

“Doesn’t look like you’re fine.” He sounds completely unbothered, like you aren’t pointing a weapon directly at him. Taking a slow step forward, he peers around you. “Your partner sure doesn’t seem fine.”

“He’s not my partner. It’s my –” You freeze, scolding yourself for immediately volunteering information and his gaze drops down to your father’s lifeless form. The stranger's face sobers, and he looks back at you. 

His jaw shifting in thought, his partner seems to grow bored of the conversation and takes a heavy step forward, advancing on you. 

“Stop,” you try to order, panic creeping into the command, but he doesn’t. He keeps going, his large arm reaching towards your thrower. His massive grip choking the barrel, he rips it clean from your hands before you can even think about stopping him, and you crouch back behind your chair, trembling.

“My apologies for my partner, little one. He’s not keen on having weapons pointed at him. You can understand, I’m sure. Why don’t you come out from behind that chair and let’s talk. A deal, if you’re open to it.”

You don’t want to strike a deal with them. You know that any deal you attempt to broker on your behalf is going to be in their favor no matter what the conditions are. Your father never taught you the skills of negotiation – those were always done out of sight. Your mouth dries, sweat beading along your nape. What fucking deal could there even be to make that doesn’t end up with you dead? Or worse?

With so much happening in the last two hours, it’s hard to process anything, let alone a negotiation with deadly strangers on a hostile planet. How you handle this situation could be literally life or death for you, and you beg your brain to pick up pace. 

Please. Please. Come on, think.

Your mind still struggling but knowing you’re running out of time, you force yourself back up. 

“The deal was leave, and I won’t shoot.”

He only grins at that, and rage at the unfairness of it all flares bright through you.

“Besides, why should I believe anything you say? You’ll probably just kill me the first chance you get.”

“Why would you assume I intend harm?”

You don’t have anything to say to that, instead looking at his partner. Fear at his sheer size displays clearly on your face no matter how hard to try to mask it. “Why else would he steal my gun? Shoot me first before I can shoot, right?”

“If that was the case, he would have shot you already.” He lets a beat pass, his eyes narrowing in their focus on you. “Still could though, I guess.”

There is something behind the indifference in his voice, something in his eyes that begs you silently to listen to him — but then his partner raises his thrower, and several things happen at once.

You whimper, dunking behind the tattered chair. 

The smaller man whips his railgun from his hip, pulling the trigger.

You scream, and the bullet hits his partner square in the chest. 

The larger man stumbles forward as if to grab him but the smaller one shoots him again, the second shot landing in his gut. The force of the close shot pushes the larger man backwards, his heavy body slamming into the pod wall. 

He slumps down, collapsing into a lifeless heap.

There is a beat of weighted silence; your form frozen. 

The roguish man’s profile faces you: dark features partially obscured by the dome of his helmet, you can see closely shorn brown hair in matted disarray with a shock of white that smears just above his temple. Black eyes that glimmer in the fluorescent light, the edges lined with age. Tanned skin, a strong nose, plush lips under a mustache. 

He stares at his dead partner with something akin to satisfaction, and it turns your stomach to think of not only how quickly he resorted to violence, but also how much he seems to enjoy it. 

“Well would you look at that. Now we have two to move.” 

Still in shock, the violent scene in front of you startles you just as much as his nonchalance does. You watch as he turns to face you; a hooked scar marring the skin under his eye. 

“Now little one,” he says with seeming politeness. “You ready to hear that deal?”

[bumblesimagines]

“who the fuck said that? you’re great.”

“i’d tap that.”

“your ass is your best quality.”

Angel Reyes

“who the fuck said that? you’re great.”

“i’d tap that.”

“your ass is your best quality.”

pronouns: they/them, gender neutral

reminder that i do have a ko-fi if anyone has ever wanted to tip me!

"Angel, what do you think of me?" It wasn't everyday you asked Angel Reyes for his opinion, but one disastrous date had left you feeling down and desperate for at least some comfort. Angel blinked at you, lips pressed to the rim of his bottle and brows slowly knitting in question. "Do you think I'm boring? Hopeless and destined for nothing?"

“Who the fuck said that? You’re great.” Angel scoffed and took one last swing of his beer, emptying the bottle completely and shoving it in the direction of the nearest prospect.

"I had a date last night and they said I was boring." You revealed in a mutter, a soft sigh slipping past your lips. Your first date in years and it ended with tears, wine, and ice cream. Angel winced.

"Fuck 'em. They don't know what their missing out on."

"What are they missing out on, Angel? I serve beers to criminals for a living and only have a one bedroom apartment to my name." You groaned and slumped down on the bar, face burying into your forearms. Angel exchanged a glance with the amused yet silent Ez beside him.

"Well, for starters, your ass is your best quality." Ez elbowed his side. "And, you have a great sense of humor. Besides, not everyone can serve beer to a motorcycle club and not piss themselves."

You laughed into your arms and lifted your head with a small smile. "My ass is my best quality."

"Exactly. I'd tap that."

"I'd be flattered but you'd fuck anything that breathes and has a hole, Angel."

[vtoriacore]

Yo! It's me! I was wondering if I could request Ruggie, Idia, Riddle, and Malleus with a significant other who fights people for just breathing in their direction. Like Crowley opens his mouth and their already like "SHUT UP!" And throws chairs at people. I think the comedic potential for this is exponential

✧ alla stocatta (this chair)!

note: this is such a funny fucking concept LMFAO😭 gremlin MC agenda has gotta be my fucking fave they have the power to be so unhinged and i live for it also not proofread because it's low-key 12 am BUT. it's readable so-

characters: ruggie, idia, riddle, malleus

people who reblogged here is a special heart and a kith y'all do the most and ily 💞

♡ RUGGIE

ruggie finds it both amusing and kind of intimidating (and kinda hot but he'll die before he admits this yk) how you literally defend his honour (even when it doesn't necessarily need to be defended) but is he complaining? fuck no! 

half the time he is laughing and the other half is him cheering you on and maybe even encouraging you to do something just a little overboard (nothing that will get you into trouble, and if it does he's usually happy to take the blame) 

the first time he witnessed you literally throwing your broom at leona in joint flight class because he wouldn't stop bitching to ruggie was just about the most hilarious fucking thing he's ever seen and oh- there he goes falling off because he couldn't stop laughing (he stops when you catch him and ask if he's okay though - this mf may think he's slick but is literally reduced to a blubbering mess once he finds himself in a position considered a little too intimate with you) 

the second time he saw you trip someone up because they looked at him wrong, and your silly, sly self simply gave them the most unimpressed look you could muster with a "watch where you're going" 

the hyena was too stunned to speak 😮 no but seriously he found that both hilarious (as always) and admirable because holy shit, you did it so nonchalantly and it looked so fucking cool- he questions how he was even able to pull you (dw ruggie, you've got rizz!) 

he absolutely loves when you stand up for him for more serious stuff though, like if someone's insulting him for his status or for having to work etc. because your no-bullshit attitude actually works so well? you just casually throw a chair at the mf even daring to look at him and his heart goes ✨✨✨ all the while he's laughing and cheering you on from the sidelines. 

.

♡ IDIA

at first, idia is fucking terrified! bro is borderline crashing because how the fuck did you have the strength to haul that heavy ass cauldron at the person making a snide remark about him? he was going to say he's NEVER coming to class again but after this, he changes his mind so quick

like, you looked so badass doing that? the savannaclaw loser who tried insulting him barely got two words out and you just- oh wow! he just got the "in love" status applied to him again! 

nah but fr he is literally fucking grinning as he stares at the poor, poor fool laying on the ground and is so fucking smug about it too! 

"that was an ez no scope, didn't even have to be 360 lol'

"idia ily but what"

"it's a roundabout way of saying this bozo stood no chance, you pulled up on him too quick lmao"

at first, he is a bit concerned that you might end up in trouble with someone for doing all this but . . . yk, his money speaks for itself and if something does ever happen covering up wouldn't be too hard so he lets you do as you please

this hades-rapunzel secret love child thinks its low-key hot too, but he'll never admit it and he literally turns bright fucking pink anytime he even thinks this. you tried prying the answer out before, but he pulled out his secret trump card - fainting on you so he wouldn't have to say a thing

idia is another mf to absolutely egg you on as you cause some more chaos, it's getting to the point ortho had to warn you of nearly breaking someone's arm before you stopped. idia was just standing there, the most villainous, evil grin to have ever graced his face; "no, no! let them cook!"

.

♡ RIDDLE

riddle. fucking. FAINTS! 

he was NOT ready for that strawberry tart to end up lodged down someone's throat as you victoriously shrugged your shoulders with a "what? they had it coming."

"oh great heavens what have you- where is the decorum? what could have possibly compelled you to-" aaaaaaaand man's down!

when he awakes, he's frantically shaking your shoulders and asking why you would even think that nearly suffocating someone (not really, you pushed the tart far enough they could swallow) was appropriate 

but let me tell you, when he hears it was because they've insulted him and brought his mother into it, he low-key feels light headed and oh wow his cheeks are getting pretty warm huh? 

riddle, in his own spiteful way, actually doesn't probe you on this any longer and makes you promise that you won't do this in his vicinity again

you of course, nod along. you won't do it in his vicinity, but will be perfectly fine exacting your revenge straight after he's out of sight

when you actually end up having a . . . a chair duel. yes, he read that right. (he wasn't about to even question how that came about but nontheless) he ends up both impressed at you exploiting a loophole you've found within his statement and at the fact the person you've just beaten (both literally and figuratively) is miserably sitting on the floor apologising for giving riddle the wrong look at 12:34 AM on the 3rd of march. very specific 

riddle doesn't even chastise you for this one, he is exasperated but does actually pull you away from the scene and thanks you for defending him. this time, he makes you promise to resolve your fights for him verbally, but he won't be stopping you from this point on (it's because he doesn't want to and enjoys you standing up for him)

.

♡ MALLEUS

the student walking away from malleus makes him feel a bit bad. so naturally, to remedy this, you end up shouting at them! now they're backing away from you instead, isn't this the meaning of true love? (no)

this silly little very capable of looking after himself fae is fucking over the moon! absolutely smitten! completely in love! when you come to defend him and angrily shout at people for not treating him like a being worthy of respect and love.

he low-key debates proposing to you on the spot after you also somehow manage to get a student to apologize to him for fearing him for no good reason! he appreciates the sentiment and you caring for his well being, isn't that basically marriage already? no? he'd like to digress immediately

malleus does get a bit concerned when things get physical, not that he doesn't trust you to take care of yourself or anything but he worries that you might end up hurt. oh, did you think he'd care for the person you're fighting? or you getting in trouble? nah, he could literally BBQ anyone who even dared harm you anyway and if crowley even thought to step in, he'd soon be reconsidering because he doesn't want to end up an elaborate crow dish

however, on the occasion that you do outsmart your opponent (aka the savannaclaw student who just rolled his eyes at the dragon fae) he feels hella proud and is very amused at your antics. i mean, the way you just psychologically destroyed the fool in front of you for their comment on malleus not even being that good at magift is very sure to leave them questioning why they even bothered coming  out the womb for the rest of their life. 

he is another one that finds it low-key 😳😳😳 like damn, did you always look this badass when flipping someone off for even breathing wrong near him? sane thoughts just weren't made for malleus

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Always have but never hold

Previous chapter / Next chapter

a/n not even deathly pain could keep me away. Hope you all would enjoy this part eight. Think we might be getting close to the end here. Thank you for the love and patience.

warnings: forceful behavior, abusive relationship, degradation, swearing, past trauma, fighting, mentions of blood, mentions of sexual interactions. I think that's all....

Parts in cursive are memories

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You weren't sure if it was you who was on fire or if the room was burning, but no one except you noticed. You kept asking yourself how many fake smiles were too many. Your cheeks were aching. Surely, that was a sign that this was it. You had reached for the empty container, glancing at the pile of open bottles that were lined by the bins. There was no glass container, so you assumed that was how you were meant to store them for now. You dropped your cigarette on the ground carelessly before reaching for the back door handle.

"Down it, sis", the voice found you almost immediately, and a full-body shiver ran through you. Here they all were. You used to like them. Dreamed of being a part of their friend group. Maybe still did. It was all so confusing. So rough around the edges. You shook your head, "Good for now", you smiled, dropping the crate near the other still-full boxes of booze. "Ask your bitch, dude. It seems like she barks just for you", one of the guys said, as you bit the inside of your cheek, anger started to bubble within you. Ezra's friend treated you like their beating bag most times. And he... Well, you would hope he would opt to stand up for you, but...

"Drink", your boyfriend nodded towards the glass of whatever concoction their high selves had created. Your eyes met his. The room seemed to quiet down. The rest of the group was smiling from ear to ear. This was free entertainment for them. "I don't want to", you muttered under your breath as u's and boo's filled the room. And there was that twisted look on Ezra's face as he crooked his head. Daring you silently to say that one more time. You know that the best option here was to nod and step forward, but you found yourself shaking your head instead.

And then it was all a blur. Your brain was too slow at processing how and when Ezra had crossed the distance between the two of you. When he grabbed your hand. Turned to yank you up the stairs. You were convinced that you heard giggles as you went from the grope. And then a rough shove. A cold wall. The breath was knocked out of your lungs. A harsh hold was on your jaw as he spat, "You dare to embrace me like that, huh?", your lower lip wobbled. "Can you fucking do what you're told? Why do you have to be so useless?", for a flicker his face morphed into Carmys, and you tried to shake your head.

"I don't want this", you said. For so long, too afraid to say anything about it. Ezra had laughed, "You ungrateful bitch", and then he was dragging you across the bedroom. Shoving you through the closest doors "What are you doing?", you had managed to mutter before you heard a click and all color drained from your face. You gave the door a little push, but they didn't budge. He had locked you in. "No, Ez, please no. Open the door", the panic started to spread. As you banged your palms against the door, "Open the door, open the door, please", but there was no answer or reply, "Don't leave me here; open the door, open the door".

You had pulled your face out of the freezing stream of water. Usually, the sound of water all around you drowned out the noises in your head. Brought you as far as your childhood days went. When you would leap from the little bridge into the cold lake water, and all the buzzing excitement. The laughter. Anything and everything would die down the moment you were deep within the water. Time would stop. There was only that moment. A moment of stillness. And then the body would rise again.

It was a wimp, truly. Nothing more. Nothing less. You were fidgety and uneasy ever since you landed in Chicago. And the thing was that the flight itself was such a wuss too. A rush of adrenaline. All the emotions bubbled up so extensively that it was too much. They were too suffocating. You had to go. Couldn't stay in one place for long. It felt like your body was going to explode otherwise. Like your brain was going to take off running and you wouldn't be able to keep up with it.

You left Luca with a note as you slipped out of bed in the middle of the night. A part of you felt guilty about that. The other, however, knew that it was he who put this into motion. It was so easy with him. Always so easy. You never second-guessed. You didn't need to have any of your guards up. Because Luka knew you. Inside and out. You doubted there was a flaw in your body that you hadn't shown to him and that he, in return, hadn't held with such delicate care.

You sank to the shower floor, bringing your knees closer to your chest as the water poured down your naked frame. You weren't even sure how you ended up at the restaurant. That same urge had brought you there, no doubt. Must have. A curiosity. A poisonous inkling. What if Carmy was there, and so was she? What then? You would just know that he spends his afternoons with her. Cooks for her with the love that he poured into the dishes he had made for you back then? That he had finally replaced you. That you were again nothing more than a piece of trash beneath someone's shoe that one was eager to shake off. But there was no Claire there. There was no sign of dinner plates being shared. There was no smell of food. Just a fire. A big, blazing fire and Carmen was reaching toward it. And then there was your pulling at him. You dragging him away. The pounding in your ears as you looked over his hands for any signs of irritated skin, a burn, or blisters forming. And he was just staring at you as if you were Venus itself, who had stepped out of one of Botticelli's paintings. Holy figure. A vision.

"Fucking breathe", you had barked at him when Carmen just kept on blurring your name over and over again. You started to hate the sound of it. The sound of anything. And then Carmen pulled you into his embrace, and you let him. And a part of you melted for the time being. It felt as if finally. Finally, you had found the exact thing that you had been craving, and the thought of it until this moment was making you sick. It felt like that sweet sensation of relief when you finally get the itchy spot on your body that you just couldn't seem to grasp for so long.

To Carmen, it too felt like this was it. Finally, you were here, and it would all start to fall into place, but then there was you. Pushing against his chest as you tried to get away from him. And he wanted to fight that. He held you close against him, but he knew it was wrong. That was your choice to make. It was your shot to call, and he was not going to take it away from you. Carmen wasn't all that surprised as he met your angry, blazing eyes. "Do you have a death wish? Does... Has no one told you that you don't...", you rambled on, "Fuck, Carmen". And if only you knew how many things he wanted to tell you. The thought itself overwhelmed him. Carmen wasn't even sure where to start. What to say first? Which words were more important? Had more value? But nothing came out of his mouth. He stood there, staring at you.

"Are you high or something? Have you been taking some shit?", you moved closer to inspect his pupils. Carmen realized. "No, no...", he muttered. It was taking all of his strength to not let his hands touch your hips, just as he was used to. Just how it had been so natural for him, but then he was so hyper-aware that any wrong or poor choice would push you away. "I've...", Carmen had rasped out before you cut in, "Does anything hurt?"

And Carmen saw it in your eyes. That same care, that same longing to protect him. To look after him. He saw you once again snarling at his mother as you threw the remaining white lilies her way. A warning finger pointed at her as you said, "You don't raise a hand at him". Carmen had never felt so safe before. Of course, the desire to protect you was there too. Strong and itching, and he has always had and always will protect you. But it was your will to fight for him that lit something up within him.

Carmy was about to reach for you, to ask the same question, to make sure that you two were safe, and then... "Bunny, you're okay?", Carmy's brain must have shut down for a moment. As he watched you turn away from him, all the attention slipped elsewhere. To someone who has opened all of the doors by now. Who had a towel in his hand. Fanning the smoke away. The fire alarms should have gone off. Why didn't they? Was this too broken? Something Richie failed to mention. Fucking Richie...

And then Carmy couldn't seem to move because... He watches as Luca, the fucking Luca of all people, approached you. How he rested his palms over your cheeks. How you didn't pull away. How you let him touch you. Touch you as Carmen used to. His fists clenched as he watched. "I'm fine; I didn't... I just pulled him away. What are you doing here?", and there's no anger or frustration in your tone. None of it as you spoke with him, but it was just there seconds ago. Directed right at Carmen. It's the way Luca nodded, tugging a strand of your hair behind your lips, that set something loose in Camen. A blinding rage. A soaring desire to just...

You barely managed to catch it. Carmen's hands come into contact with Luca's side. It wasn't a punch. A shove, but a shove nonetheless. It sent you stumbling slightly as well. Just from the shared fact that Luca was still holding onto you, your eyes fell on Carmen. The deadly. The angry look he carried. The sick look on his face. A picture from the past. A glimpse. A... "What are you... Stop it!", you shouted, trying to thread your hands through the tangle of limbs. As Luka too turned to Carmen, the messenger here was clear: "Fucking. Fuck no, stop", you still tried as they took fistfuls of one another's shirts. Getting way too close in each other's personal space.

But then it's the old house. You're barely standing. You barely have clothes on. Luca with a cut on his eyebrow. The warm blood had trickled down the side of his face. You can only see fragments through your teary eyes, but you push in between them, shoveling as hard as you can, "Stop, Ezra, stop". The room suddenly stills. Your body feels frozen. You open your eyes, and it's Carmy who's looking at you. His arms had fallen to the side as he looked you over, even more confused than before. Your hand quickly came up to cover your mouth.

"Oh, so there's more than just one?", Carmy's words made your guts twist. The little, helpless, defenseless girl was standing back here. Shaking her head. "You don't understand", you muttered back, "You don't know anything". Now it was Carmen shaking his head as his eyes moved between you and Luca. "And you dared to blame me?", now that set flames within you as you stepped forward, "I was never disloyal to you! It was you who dragged that girl back home", "You've been fucking him these last weeks?", but your palm came into contact with his chest as you gave it a light shove. "Don't you dare call me names, Carmen"? You hold his gaze for a moment longer before dropping it as you turn to rush out of one of the open doors. The shake of Luca's head as he followed you out, "You've stepped low, mate". And Carmy was left to watch as Luca finally caught up to you. How he pulled at your hand to make you slow down. Pulling you into his arms. Even from where Carmen stood in between the doorframe leading to the back alley, he could hear the cries that wrecked you. Carried by the wind. By some upper power. To show him once more that it's you, big guy, who's making her sob like that in the middle of the street. But the jealousy ran thicker this time. Drowning out the inner voice.

Carmen was practically lying on top of you, his face nuzzled into your skin. You ran your fingers through his hair softly. Gently tugging at the roots from time to time. He lifted his head slowly, flashing you a lazy smile that you didn't hesitate to return before his lips started trailing kisses all over your chest and neck. "I wish I could melt into you sometimes", he whispered, breathing in the smell of your skin. The cold chain on his neck brushed against your warm skin, making you shiver slightly. "You're quite literally still inside me", you giggled, and Carmy didn't hesitate to give you a lazy thrust, making you wrap your legs around his lower body once again. You had finally found time for one another after a long and busy spell. So parting seemed like way too much now. Impossible even.

"You're all I've wished to have. The...", his words died down as he leaned closer, brushing his lips over yours, "You've begun to feel like home". Your eyes tried to catch him because of those words. Those words were exactly how you were feeling all this time. This. Whatever was between you two always felt bigger. Simple words felt too dull. After all these years of running, you could finally stop. Finally breath. Finally, allow yourself to wrap yourself up in the warmth that was Carmen.

The kisses grew messy and eager. It was so easy to just melt together. To become one and forget about the world. "I want you to sketch the restaurant. Bring the bear to life", Carmen said between kisses, making you still. "What...", you muttered, trying to make him look up at you, abandon the sweet spot on your neck, and just look up at you. "I want you to be a part of it. Want to display your art there", you wanted to believe that this wasn't a blissful delusion as you pulled him to look at you properly, meeting his eyes. Eyes that, yes, were high on love but serious. "Carm, that... that's big...", you stuttered, thinking about what a big step that would be if your silly little creations saw the daylight. As if sensing your worries and your doubts, Carmen quickly packed your lips before kissing the tip of your nose gently and saying, "I love you. Everything about you, I want to show you the world".

You didn't want to see anyone. Didn't want to face people. Luca had sat with you through the night. Had stepped into the shower to drag you out of that freezing stream. Made you a cup of tea. You wanted to just lie down and not think. Not think about Carmen. Get him out of your thoughts. So maybe meeting with Marcus and Sydney was a good idea after all. Maybe that was exactly what you needed.

"I will beat his ass for real", Sydney huffed as she twirled the pasta Luca had made for everyone around the fork. You had finally told her everything. You needed to get it off your chest, and it felt nice. To have someone. Someone who wasn't just Luca "Don't; I already dragged Luca into this", you let your gaze drift to him. Flour covered his hands as he showed Marcus how to form different shapes of pastry. And Marcus, who looked like a kid in the candy shop. Eyes sparkling. He gave him a concentrated look as he nodded at everything that Luca said.

"He cares about you a lot", Sydney said, making you drop your gaze as you let out a sigh, "I'm convinced that he's my guardian angel". You pushed the food around the plate, letting the moment of silence fall over the two of you. "And Carmen and him? Their friends", you let out a snicker at that, "I... I met Carmen properly because of Luca".

You were laying on the sofa, your head hanging from the side, as you listened to Luca speak, "It's just a couple of chefs. Please, I need backup". You let out a laugh, shaking your head. "You need backup? As if... Plus that dick of a roommate is out tonight... I want to enjoy my peace". It wasn't that you two bumped into one another often, but even when you did, it was too much. So with him gone and it being a Friday night, the possibilities were endless. "I need you. There will be some pretty big dogs there. You ground me".

That's how you found yourself in someone's apartment. With trays of food in hands, helping Luca carry everything that he had already made and was going to make while there. That's where you met Charlie and his pregnant girlfriend Mimi. Two girls from the restaurant, Mario, the dude from Ireland, and... Carmen... Your fucking roommate. One that had been snarling at your boxed mac and cheese. To whose coffee you added salt because he had gotten on your nerves. But something also felt different. As if you two had finally seen one another. Stopped and properly looked. Not just glanced, but looked. And something snapped. As if all the stars finally aligned and you two just couldn't seem to pull your eyes from one another.

"What a coincidence", Carmen muttered, arms crossed over his chest as he leaned against the kitchen counter when you two bumped into one another with no one else around. "Or fate", you said, giving him a flashy smile. He had laughed at that, "Feels like fate to you?" You only shrugged your shoulders and said, "Feels like something much bigger", and it was. Because not even a week later, you two were going on your first proper date.

"So, you three are friends?", Sydney asked eagerly, pulling you after the deep thought. "They were never really friends. Too competitive in the kitchen", you muttered. "We had a couple of dinners together, but... I think Carmen was glad when Luca moved to Copenhagen". Sydney was without a doubt about to ask another question when Marcus carefully lowered the plate full of baked goods onto the table. You caught a glimpse of Luca wiping his hands with a towel before mouthing, "Thank you", he only winked your way before he too stepped closer to the table. Listening to Marcus talk about everything that Luca had taught him just now.

"Tell me about your week?", the room was too light for Carmen's liking, and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. The first drops of sweat covered his forehead. "Bad", he said bluntly. "Would you like to tell me more?", Carmen cringed at her tone. The way she kept tapping her pen onto her notebook. He frowned. "I lost her again,", he admitted. Sure, this was supposed to be a safe space, but he felt so trapped here. The tiny room. The way it was filled with motivational quotes, "She came back, and I... I said everything that I didn't mean to say", he admitted, and the woman instantly asked, "Why?", "Because I'm an idiot", Carmen blurred. "I also think that... I think that... I", he suddenly felt like there was not enough air in the room, "I should let her go. Stop trying to hold onto her; she deserves someone better".

You weren't sure how many cigarettes you smoked. The uneasy feeling didn't budge. Just now, your head was pounding. Shiver after shiver ran down your back. Chicago felt different. Simple because you knew that Carmen was here. You could easily bump into him. He could come to find you. You could do the same. Thirty minutes. That's all it would take, and you would come face-to-face with Carmen. Then it will not be much longer to your appointment. The place that now felt like a fever dream to you. Had he thrown away your stuff? Your paintings? Books? Clothes? You left practically all of your life there.

Were you upset? Yes. Very much so. And it still hurt, and you were sure it would for some time. But you couldn't. It was driving you crazy. Because now you looked at Luca, and you saw Carmy. In the smallest things he did. Things that Carmy too did or said, you missed him. Missed just knowing that he was coming home, no matter how late it was. Not to mention that you were so fucking worried. Because Carmen didn't look like himself. His dull, lost eyes were hunting you now. The way he clung to you. You were starting to wonder what was driving you more insane. The fact that you were so hurt by him or the fact that you missed him so much. You quickly picked up your phone. "Just thinking about Ossobuco", you typed out. Cursing because it felt stupid, and maybe you didn't even mean it, but... "Haven't stopped thinking about it", the message came through not even a minute later. You bit your lip. Trying to keep your emotions at bay. "I'm so sorry, baby", the next one read, and you quickly locked your phone, tossing it onto the sofa. You couldn't. Suddenly, you couldn't watch him fall apart over a text.

Carmy was late. Not like he wasn't late most of the time to those meetings. He doesn't talk much now. Only when there were too many things on his mind. He liked this way more than those private meetings he was having. He heard, and he felt heard. Understood. It helped him listen to others, or it drowned out the pain he was feeling. He sure could have stopped coming. Maybe he even should have, but he found himself pushing the door open every week.

Pulling the hat off his head, Carmen sank into one of the back seats. Brushing his hair away from his face. "We have new faces here today", the lady moderating the meetings said, "Why don't we start with them? Let them share their stories. Of course if that's okay". Carmy fidgeted with his coat, still feeling that same uncomfortable feeling here. That dread. That feeling of Mikey here. That feeling of him watching.

"Ah, hey", Carmy lifted his head so quickly that his vision blurred for a split second. There was no way. Absolutely no way. He gripped the seat in front of him, leaning forward. His heart was beating so fast that he could hear the blood rushing through his veins. "My name is Y/N, and I am...", you swallowed thickly, and Carmen felt bile rising in his throat, "My first ex was an abusive addict".

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