#bruh i know i know never check the comments but they JUST POP UP ON IG WITHOUT YOU CLICKING ON THEM

[writterings]

i gotta stop using instagram. i keep almost suicide-baiting bigots in comment sections and delete the words one by one but still get the urge to straight up be like "kill yourself" in response to them saying super bigoted shit about nex benedict

[fandomsilhouette]

the presents they measured (the presence she treasured)

Love is a powerful motivator. Jealous is even more so. Suddenly, someone finds themselves falling faster than they knew how to breathe, before they knew they were even walking to the edge of a cliff, too quickly to enjoy the scenery on the walk over, and all they know is that by the time they crash-land, they’d better be ready to fight. Someone pushed them over the edge. It’s time for revenge.  Happy @felinettenovember​, y’all! Yes, we are in fact back to happy times. This has been written in collaboration with @musicfren​, who will be posting the second part on his account tomorrow. It continues to be fluffy fluff, don’t worry... for now >:3 We’ll be doing every weekend pair together, so follow him if you don’t already or you’ll be missing a whole chapter!!! 

Part 1 below. Part 2 upcoming. 

“...did I miss Marinette’s birthday?” 

“Dude, what are you talking about? Mari’s birthday is in April.” Nino shoots a pointed look at the snow drifting down to the streets as he shakes the now-sludgy water off his snow boots and starts unwrapping himself out of his winter gear, piling them up in a wet mess on Felix’s desk. Felix, for once, chooses not to complain, opting instead to focus on the main issue here. 

“Well, but there’s a gift on her desk and November seventh is definitely too early for holiday gifts.” Felix smirks slyly at a camera no one else can see as he said the date, making Nino send him a weird look. Then again, Felix was weird all the time. Nino is used to it by now, so he doesn’t comment any further. 

Nino shoots him a sidelong glance. “Dude, why are you specifically checking her desk?”

“Unimportant, I saw it as I walked in. Do you know who put it there?” Felix says, swerving the discussion violently back to the most salient point. 

“…bruh… her desk requires you to turn almost 180˚ from where you would need to go for your desk.” 

“Unimportant, I said.” Hopefully his Ladybug-red blush doesn’t show under the still-flickering half on lights that no one has bothered to flick the other switch for. The back half of the classroom is bathed in residual light and Felix can hardly see his own hand in front of him, but by Nino’s amused smirk, his blush is clearly bright enough to light up the path to his doom. 

Nino opens his mouth, but whatever snark he was going to respond with is lost under a quiet “ooooooh!” and the sound of wrapping paper being carefully pried apart. Felix turns and his meticulously coiffed composure slips a bit. 

“Marinette!” He half-falls out of his chair as he scampers anxiously to her side. He stands protectively behind her as if about to pull her to safety, hands hovering awkwardly around her waist, but she seems far too engrossed by the present before her to notice. Later, Felix will blush and be glad she didn’t. Later than that, she’ll admit she saw and just chose to ignore it, and Felix will blush again. 

“I wonder what it i-- ooh!!” With a small happy gasp, she pulls back the paper (a disgustingly garish shade of green, easily three shades off of the correct shade, obviously) to reveal a dainty box of chocolates and an elegant white card, ornately decorated in gold leaf print. Marinette curiously picks up the card as Felix cranes his head intently over her shoulder. Inside, in pretentiously penciled cursive, is a simple phrase:

“With love, your secret admirer <3”

Felix immediately scoffs, grabbing Marinette’s wrist and pulling her into his chest, but she scarcely pays him any mind, so engrossed is she in her gift.

“Gosh, that’s really thoughtful of them, picking my favorite!  Who… whoever they are…”

“It’s not even your favorite kind of chocolate!” Felix screams in his head, and refuses to acknowledge the follow-up question of whether he even knows what her favorite chocolate is. He’s quickly distracted, anyways, when Marinette giggles, which is a very distracting sound, Nino, stop looking at him like that!

“Haha, I could even say it’s… sweet! of them!!” She pops a chocolate in her mouth and Felix is riveted to the way her lips purse around the sweet, the way her tongue swirls around her finger as she sucks the last of it off. 

Nino shoots him an impressed glance and mouths, “Dude, nice!” but Felix’s mind is too busy spinning to process why. What on EARTH was happening?! 

It takes him the next two classes and most of lunch to work up the courage to ask. “Um… what’s a secret admirer?” 

Nino pauses mid-bite, fork dangling in the air, to give Felix such a dumbfounded look that Felix immediately chooses to google the term instead, furtively hiding his phone under the bench. “Dude… why did you use that word if you didn’t even know what it meant, you walnut??” 

Felix slams the lid down on his food and walks away immediately, footsteps echoing to the sound of Nino’s laughter. 

He hopes to put this baffling incident behind him, but to Felix’s immense distress, the parade of gifts does not stop there. At her locker the next morning, Felix finds himself needing to push through a group of students all cooing over… something he cannot make out from behind the crowd. As he gets closer, he notices flowers pinned up in the shape of a heart over her locker, with a grand bouquet of roses pinned in the center. Felix’s nose twitches, itches, and then-- 

“Achoo!!”

Rose petals go flying everywhere and Marinette laughs, delighted. Kim nudges into him. “Sick show, bro! She loved that, how’d you time that sneeze??” 

Felix doesn’t know. He’s confused. He wants to go home.

Two days after that, the PA system crackles through the classroom five minutes before the class  is scheduled to end. Principal Damoclese clears his throat with a sharp peak in the audio and says in his most bored, reading-off-a-paper voice: “Marinette Dupain-Cheng to the courtyard, please, that’s Marinette Dupain-Cheng to the courtyard.” Bustier winks and ends class early, and everyone floods outside to see a teddy bear holding a cute little love-heart. Marinette makes a beeline to it and hugs it immediately, burying her face in its fur. It’s adorable, actually, and Felix tries very hard to not be jealous of a stuffed toy. 

He does not succeed. 

“OHMIGOSH, Felix!!!” Rose squeals, “That was so romantiiiiic, you’re sooooooo good at this!!! How are you being this sweeeeeeet??? <3 <3 <3” Felix can hear the hearts in her voice. Juleka mumbles something that he can only assume is agreement. Felix just sits down where he was standing and puts his head in his hands. Why did nothing make sense?

Felix leans his head against the window of the car, letting the bumps in the road thunk his forehead against the glass in a nice, soothing, repetitive dull pain, better than the constant headache he’s been living with for the last week. Their words spin about his head, hounding his thoughts. His chauffeur is silent for once

“Dude, nice!” “Sick show, bro!” “How are you being this sweet???”

And that’s when it hits him, making a hollow thunk off his empty skull.

Someone is getting her these gifts. And they think he did it. 

Another heartbeat. 

OH NO, THEY KNOW HE LIKES HER! Wait. He likes her?! ...oh no. He DOES. 

Staring out at the road speeding by far too fast, Felix clenches his hands into fists. He’d never expected to find himself here: head over heels crushing on a girl that everyone knew he liked before he ever worked it out on his own, a week late into a competition he doesn’t remember entering. 

Well, no matter. There’s still time to enter, catch up, win.

The next day, Marinette finds another chocolate box on her desk, bigger, more expensive, and exactly the correct shade of green. Each one is handcrafted into increasingly more elaborate designs, laced with caramel and toffee and candied pecans. The spread takes over her desk and Alya’s, and Felix grins smugly. 

“Wait. Didn’t you already do this?” Nino asks, but Felix is too busy. There is an entire wheelbarrow of flowers to deliver by lunch. 

His competition moves quickly: by the end of the school day, the PA is playing a serenade for her in front of the whole school. As soon as the bell rings, he cancels his next order and places a rush on the biggest size they offer: clearly, he’s going to need to do better. He doesn’t bother to look at the sizing or the price. Nothing is too big or too expensive for Marinette. 

The next day Marinette finds a third box, so big it doesn’t even fit on her desk and instead sits next to it like an awkwardly crouched gremlin. Felix glowers at it, not having realized exactly how big it was going to be, and becoming increasingly concerned as she shrieks with delight, yanking out the artistically crinkled tissue paper and tossing it gleefully behind her, climbing into the giant box as soon as she makes enough space for herself. 

Terrified, Felix shuffles over and peeks over the edge. She’s curled up in the paws of his giant stuffed animal, half asleep, looking so cozy he can hardly bear it. 

...oh, goodness, he’s getting jealous of a toy again. His own toy, even!  

There’s nothing for a few days, and Felix relaxes, and then--

The entire classroom is covered in flowers of every kind come Thursday morning. Bustier cancels the first period and directs everyone coughing and sneezing to the nurse, and convinces everyone who can stand the pollen to help her move it out of the way. 

It turns out the class has been talking about the secret admirers-- a lot more than Felix expected. Sometime after the impromptu courtyard concert by Jagged Stone and the last minute fashion walk between classes, and between the endless planning and scheming and glowering, Felix finds himself cornered by Nino, who’s lost his hat, glasses hanging half off his face in a way Felix could’ve sworn they didn’t used to bend, looking more feral than Felix had ever seen him. 

“ENOUGH, FELIX.” And then Felix finds himself being dragged bodily to an empty classroom where at last he faces his opponent-- nay, his nemesis. He recognizes them at once, because of the way they, too, are being held prisoner, the only other put together person in the entire room. 

Oh, he really should’ve known. 

[aspiratinganxiety]

Smart Advertising

Hey, guys! I know it has been an age since I updated or posted any fic. I uh... I’ve been going through a lot. 

Many of you, I’m sure, are now familiar with Omegaverse and A/B/O Dynamics. I have a deep and abiding love for this particular brand of trash, and I’ve recognized that there is a lack of it in the DC fandom. SO! Surprise, surprise! I’m coming back with Part I for a Jason A/B/O fic. 

Let me know if you want to see more of this story, and I hope you’re all doing well in this godforsaken hellscape of a year <3 

Tag List: @nxxttime , @possiblyelven , @thepuckishrogue , @jinkies-its-a-writer, @queeniepearls, @sesquipedalian-aficionado, @reinathequeenofdreems, and @dcuniverse-fanatic (If you want to be tagged, let me know! For more fics, check out my masterlist.)

Making time for a meal was often too much work for Jason. He ate on the go, eight out of ten times. The rare occasions he sat still to consume food usually involved an invitation from Alfred, like today’s debacle of a lunch. Steph was fighting with Bruce (shocker), Barbara had the flu, and Cass was diligently working one doozy of case. Her brief email rundown was more than considerate, given that she was using a satellite connection on the ass-crack of the planet in some Godforsaken jungle.

Trying to find the time to arrange a date? Ridiculous.

           “C’mon, Jay,” Dick taps his shoulder with his knuckles. “I think you’d really like her. And her brother’s in the life, so it’s not like you have to deal with the ‘secret identity’ stuff.”

           Now that was a plus, just not enough of one to lure Jason out of his malcontent. “Who’s ‘er brother?” he asks around a mouthful of sandwich, hoping to change the subject.

           “Oh, a meta-guy I worked with in Spiral.”

           The deliberate nonchalance of the eldest Robin makes Jason bristle. “Yeah,” he reiterates, tucking the massive bite into his cheek to speak more clearly. “And his name was?”

           “Not the important part,” Dick dodges again. “The important parts are that she’s an omega living in Gotham who does charity work for a living. She is also very cute! I have a picture.” At this point, he sets down the family sized bag of plain Lays (abominable) and fishes his phone out of his back pocket.

           Tim, thank Christ, decides to weigh in on the matter. “I feel like who her brother is happens to be important, considering that you specified he knows who Jason is, and by proxy the rest of us…”

           “I didn’t say that!”

“You said I wouldn’t have to keep my identity a secret, because he’s in the life. That wouldn’t be relevant unless he knew me,” Jason motions to his chest vigorously, some stray shreds of lettuce escaping his sandwich.

“That’s not what I said” Dick insists.

“It’s what you implied with what you said.” Tim points at Dick with a cheese puff, pinky aloft, then pops the snack into his mouth to state another observation. “Also, regardless of whether or not he knows Jason, he knows who you are. That means he already knows who we are, and I’d really like to have his name, Dick.”  

“Tim, shut up. This isn’t about you.”

“Let’s watch our tone, boys,” Alfred says, breezing into the kitchen with a faintly disappointed air to have found them, not only arguing, but hunched vulture-like around the kitchen island decimating what would have been decent leftovers. “Master Dick, we all know how Jason feels about match-making: much the way Master Bruce feels about it.”

Outwardly admonished, Dick says something to schmooze Alfred while he slides his phone over to Jason. Never one to deny curiosity, Jason peers down to see the girl Dick’s pestering him about. She’s a round young woman in a dirty pink T-shirt holding up a mop-head of a puppy with a big, goofy smile on her face. Her hair is windswept, she’s clearly sunburned, her front teeth have a gap between them, and she’s possibly the most adorable human being he’s ever seen in his life.

Shaking his head, Jason says, “She’s not my type.”

Unrepentant and quick to ignore the wave of wry disapproval emanating from Alfred, Dick stops mid-excuse to say, “Oh, she is so your type. Don’t lie to me.”

“She looks twelve!” Jason recoils, scrunching his face and glancing back down at the sweet girl in the photo. “The hell’s wrong with you?”

“She does not,” Dick defends himself, using his back to block Tim’s snooping look toward the screen. He double checks the picture himself, and a few moments pass. “Okay,” he shoots Jason a resentful glance while swiping forward a few times. “She looks a little young in that particular picture, but she’s in her twenties. Here! Look at this one.”

Tim to the rescue again! “Uh, I thought you said you had a picture, Dick. As in one.”

Dick doesn’t bother to dignify that with more than a muttered, “Puh-lease.” Like they weren’t all aware that folders full of images on anyone were only a few clicks away. Tim, especially.

Jason tunes out of the bickering that begins between them as Dick continues to exclude Tim, physically using his body as a barrier and failing to hold the phone steady for Jason’s eyes. She’s in a bikini top seated in a cheap plastic kiddy pool, more tanned and freckled with her hair restrained somewhat successfully in a braid that sits over her shoulder. Three massive dogs crowd around her for attention, but her eyes, amber from the angle of the sun, are staring straight at the camera. This smile is shyer; lips hiding her teeth, shoulders bent forward to bring her chest in and mask the soft rolls on her stomach brought out by her position sitting upright. She does look to be markedly older in this particular photo.

“How many damn dogs does she have?” Jason returns to his sandwich, averting his eyes and willing his voice to be dismissive.

“She works at the new shelter in East End, bruh. These aren’t her dogs.”

Damian ghosted into the kitchen at some point and posted himself behind Jason. The older brother pretends that he’s not startled to hear the kid speak. “Really? I’ve been reading good things about their practice. No-kill, good rehoming rates. Working to coordinate with other shelters and founding a spay/neuter program...” he trails off, weaseling between the two oldest brothers to have a look at Dick’s phone. “Smart advertising too. A scantily clad omega female sitting a pool with freshly groomed dogs? Good call. I bet those three have already been adopted.”

“Scantily clad?” Tim prods, doubly straining to maneuver around Dick.

Mercifully, however, this brings the picture show to an end. Dick huffs, glancing uncomfortably at Damian and tucking his phone away. Apparently, an actual twelve year old commenting on a woman’s state of dress is enough to upset his sensibilities.

Damian looks at Jason, eyes piercing and the same green as his own. He digs a hand into Dick’s bag of potato chips and says, “You should date her. She was attractive enough, and I’m sure she’s a lovely person.”

The child is unblinking as he withdraws a handful of chips and begins to eat them while starting Jason down. He half expects the little fucker to wave his free hand and pull some Jedi mind trick gag, but remembers that Damian doesn’t do pop culture humor when Tim’s in the room.

Jason drops his sandwich on the naked stone counter as though he’s discovered mold. “Well, that’s it for me,” he says, edging toward the sunroom and the side door into the gardens. “I gotta’ go.”              

[hitsuackerman]

Unpredictable (Overhaul x Reader) pt.3

a/n: I just saw a post with Overhaul without his jacket... BRUH. the infinite possibilities of--- yeah I’ll save that for the next parts XD enjoy the 3rd part :)

warnings: this cannot be read solo, cursing(?), subtle flirting

Links: part 1, part 2, part 4

Masterlist to my other fics: here :)

Overhaul’s waiting list: @jjk-biased​ @infinite-universe-love​

“Okay.” Tsukauchi said as he took the seat across from you. His outstretched hand returning the envelope he had cross-checked. “There really will be a gala at the said area at the said date.”

“Who are the possible plus ones I can bring?” You asked. Your eyes glued to your desktop. As of the moment, you were digging up some articles about one of the minor cases you were working on. Of course, you could skim through articles and talk to your workmate. It was as easy as breathing by now.

“There’s only 3 possible candidates.” He began to enumerate. “Me. Shinezu. Namase.”

“Shinezu?” You stopped reading and stared at him. “You’re kidding me right?”

“Perhaps~” He joked. “I mean it would be nice to bring him along and expose him to the outside world. The kid needs a social life. All locked up in his office. Only going out when absolutely necessary. The exposure would do him good.”

Your focus glided to Shinezu’s office. It wasn’t for you to judge but it was clear as day he was happy as a loner and would dread any sort of unwanted communication. The fact that he was even part of this small select group of people was a miracle itself. Though, you had to admire his intellect. Nothing went past him.

“I was actually planning on taking the man himself.” You broke the news. Somehow that sentence caused your heart to pick up its speed by a little. The sound of Tsukauchi’s chair rolling towards you caused a bit of discomfort. “Think about it. He has more ties than I will ever have and his quirk would surely intimidate the boss. It’s a gamble on my part as to how he would carry himself but he’s level-headed. So far.”

“You sure about that?” His voice was much nearer now.

“Nope.” There was no use in lying to this person. “I’m just pulling threads here. But, his title might draw me closer to the main goal here. Besides, I’d like to see him without that horrendous jacket.”

“You’re not being affected by his charm now, are you?” Tsukauchi pried as he slowly went back to his work space. “We all know just how manipulative he can get.”

Gathering a few folders and envelopes, you placed them onto your bag. Fixing your hair, you stood up and went towards his area. Leaning onto the partition, you fixed the strap of your bag and crossed your arms.

“I don’t like being interrogated, Nao.” You said. “But if it gives peace to your running mind, here is my answer. I’m being as cautious as I can be. There’s nothing more to it.”

You waited for a response but by the looks of it he was either using his quirk on you or he was satisfied with your answer. The latter, hopefully. Excusing yourself, you exited the precinct and looked for the nearest coffee shop. If there was one thing the office needed, it was better coffee.

Your nearest bet was a 5 minute walk from where you stood. Looking at your watch, you had a couple of minutes to spare before interviewing a few civilians. Beginning your short walk, your mind drifted back to the plus one. Tsukauchi didn’t give you the go signal for it. Was this now all on you or would you have to consult him one more time?

Your hand was now fiddling with your phone in your pocket. Trying to single out the possibilities were rather tricky. The neon sign for the shop was now above you. You had been so lost in thought that you failed to realize you had arrived at your destination. Leaning on the door, you dragged yourself in and waited in line.

With the events going on, this called for a sweet drink. Something with chocolate in it. A sugar rush was something you needed.

You were currently the 3rd person in line. Pulling your phone out, you checked for any notifications. There was one. Clicking it open, it stated that the meeting you scheduled to have for next week had been pushed to today. Picturing your schedule, you had some free time later in the afternoon. Nodding, you sent out a reply and moved a step forward.

The day had just begun and things were starting to become busy. Thank gods the coffee shop smelled amazing. The exposed beans generously spread out its aroma around the cafe. Soft jazz music played in the background, enough to blend in with the buzzing chit chats of customers. A hint of mayoram and geranium gifted your sense of smell.

‘Wait..’ Your eyes began to scan the area. There was only one person whose wallet could afford such a scent.

“For an officer,” Overhaul said from behind you. “You’re quite slow.”

Pivoting, you were face to face with him. A new and very identical jacket replacing the old one. However, there was something off about his look today. His golden orbs simply stared back at you. Taking in your puzzled features. Then it hit you. A gasp escaped your mouth.

“Did the bird fly away or is this a new look?” He was without the bird beak. Instead, a simple black mask covered the lower half of his face. What was he hiding underneath that mask? Did he have a scar on his lip? A burn? If his eyes were breathtaking, what could possibly even out such a marvel? Subtly, you shook your head. What in the world were you thinking?

“I choose whether or not to wear the mask.” He replied. His latex wrapped hands motioning you to move forward. “This is one of the cleanest cafes that live up to my standards. It may not look like it but the smell of coffee beans are rather attractive.”

“It’s been a while, (Y/N)!” The employee greeted you. She giggled at how she broke your train of thought. It was something she barely got to see after all. “Will you have the usual?”

“Uh, N-no. For today, I’d like a choco chip supreme with less ice.” Your cheeks began to burn up as you had stuttered. Reaching for your wallet, you felt a foot gently kicking you. Looking up at the source, you stepped aside and waited for his move.

“2 Americano’s.” Overhaul ordered. In the corner of his eyes, he saw how your cheeks were beginning to turn a faint shade of red. As expected, this was interesting for him. “I’ll pay for her order as well.”

“You don’t have to.” You put up your palms and were only met with silence as he handed the payment.

“Put it under her name.” He instructed the employee to which she agreed. When both of you were given the line to wait for your orders, Overhaul signed for you to follow him to a vacant table near the window. Pulling the seat, he waited for you to sit down. To which you did.

“What do you want, Overhaul?”

“Can I not spend time with the person I’m assisting?” His hands remained on his lap. Sure, the table was clean but he wasn’t taking chances. Glancing at the window, his stare glued to the black car parked across the street. He could imagine Chrono inside slowly losing his patience. “I merely wanted an update for your plus one.”

“I’m still thinking about it.”

“Bring the first person that pops in your mind.” He tilted his head once more. “Isn’t that how you people think?”

“So you’re not a person?”

“I’m clean compared to you.”

“I’ll have you know I’m a clean person.” You pouted and pointed your index at him. The way his eyes widened with fear at the possible contamination was rather amusing. “You just wouldn’t know because you're afraid of dust. I bet your immune system is low.”

“Hmph. On the contrary, my health is pristine and well taken care of. I simply choose not to touch filthy people like you. I do make exceptions every now and then.”

“They must be blessed.” You rolled your eyes and the sound of your name broke through the jazz and chatter. “Well, make yourself useful and get our orders.”

“Of course.”

That had to make you wonder. He did not flinch, show any signs of annoyance, or even scoff at your command. Instead, Overhaul silently lifted his chair and made his way towards the counter. Seeing him bow as he received the beverages was weird. For someone who murders people, he sure is polite when it comes to mannerisms. Perhaps, those traits of his were already present. Even before becoming a villain.

When he sat back down, he took a tissue and wrapped it around your cold drink. Placing it in front of you along with the straw.

“Be my plus one.” You blurted out. Your view focused on him.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.” He stood up and lowered his head. “I shall pick you up at 6. Is that fine?”

“Yeah.”

“If nothing else, I shall leave you be. Chronostasis must be fuming by now.” Before turning to leave, he had the audacity to add. “If you’ll excuse me.”

Following his body, you stared as he crossed the street and entered the same car he had been eyeing at.

Inside the car. Overhaul closed his eyes and listened to the small complaints his companion had. The visit to the shop was never intended but when he saw your figure walking down the street and entering the quaint shop, the decision to stop the car only caused Chrono to wonder.

Handing him the bird mask, he watched as his boss wore the contraption.

“Send the RSVP later.” He instructed. His voice muffled once again. “Use the alias we usually hand out for events like this. And call in the tailor. I’ll be needing a new suit.”

“That woman has taken your interests.” He commented.

“No.”

“Then why bother following her?”

“I did not follow her, Kurono.” He corrected his assistant. “It was merely chance running into her at this time of day. Besides, it’s amusing how she does not seem to hold such fear when I am around.”

Curling the sleeves of his jacket, he observed his skin. Not a sign of breakouts. In his subtle attempts to place himself close to you, he had come to the conclusion that you were relatively pure. Save for your quirk of course.

Speaking of quirk, there were still no updates regarding that information. Imagining the sum of money the Abegawa Tenchu Kai had to pay to keep that hidden was something he had to praise. The same could be said for his real name. Did you even know what his name was? Or were you left with redacted articles regarding that?

Closing his eyes once more, his thoughts went to the headquarters where his experiments were now running a bit late. Still, a few minutes delay was something he could live by.

Meanwhile, you were now preparing what explanation to give Tsukauchi. You had already given him a reasonable explanation as to why you would want to go with Overhaul. It also wouldn’t be the first time you would inform him of such unconventional choices you made. Ruffling your hair, you clicked your tongue and took a deep sip. “Uhm, (Y/N)?”

From the window, your view shifted to the employee. In her hand was a tray with a blueberry cheesecake. A shy smile resting on her feminine features. Scratching her nape, she let out an awkward giggle.

“The man told me to give you this after he left.” She said as she placed the dessert on the shiny brown surface.

“Oh, uh, thank you.” You stared at the cheesecake and immediately took your phone. Looking for the unknown number, you were only hoping that this was his personal number and not one that would alert the whole Shie Hassaikai. Sending the message with a rapidly beating heart, you cursed yourself for feeling this way.

To calm you down, you scrolled a little further and finally dialed your partner.

“Nao. I’m taking Bird boy with me.”

A long sigh was heard on the other side of the call. If you could bet money, you were sure he was massaging the bridge of his nose and leaning onto his chair.

“As much as I do not trust him, that would have to be the best decision for now,”

That went… smoother than you had initially thought.

“What’d you just gather?” Curiosity lacing your voice.

“A lot of big names are invited but we noticed that a handful of them are villains. Notably Akuji, Nokusu, and if our records are right, Tamisura.”

“Shit.”

----

are yall enjoying the story so far? :’) comment or message me if you want to be a part of Overhaul’s waiting list or any questions about the story :)

[thinfairytalex]

🦴 My Ana Rules! ⚠️TW⚠️

⚠️𝘿𝙄𝙎𝘾𝙇𝘼𝙄𝙈𝙀𝙍⚠️

DO NOT VEIW IF YOU DO NOT HAVE AN ED! PLEASE DO NOT READ IT IF YOU DO NOT HAVE ONE! I WOULD TURN BACK BUT ITS TOO LATE SO PLEASE TURN BACK WHILE YOU CAN! IF YOU HAVE ONE PLEASE GET HELP IF YOURE READY! I HATE MY EATING DISORDER AND SO WILL YOU IF YOU GET ONE BECAUSE OF ME!!!!

🍴𝙁𝙊𝙊𝘿 😋

Bad foods:

👎🏼Olive Oil

👎🏼Coconut Oil (not as bad but not suggested because it tastes gross anyways)

👎🏼Avocado

👎🏼Butter

👎🏼Ghee (idk what this is but the internet just said it was fatty)

👎🏼Yogurt (Except greek)

👎🏼Cheese

👎🏼Peanut butter

👎🏼Flax Seeds

👎🏼White pasta

👎🏼Bread ESPECIALLY BAGELS

👎🏼Mashed Potatoes

👎🏼Rice

👎🏼Ranch (but ilyyyyyyy)

👎🏼Granola

👎🏼Bananas

👎🏼Corn

👎🏼Peas

👎🏼Potatoes or Sweet Potatoes

👎🏼Chips or Fries

👎🏼Raisins

👎🏼Candy or Icecream

👎🏼Pizza

👎🏼Meat other than grilled chicken (My preference)

👎🏼Buttered Popcorn (except skinny pop)

Safe Foods:

✨Fish (Salmon and Mahi are the best)

✨Grilled chicken

✨Any fruits or veggies except bananas, avocados, potatoes, corn or peas

✨Green Tea

✨Sugar Free Foods (under 100 cals)

✨Skinny Pop

✨Sugar free jello

✨Eggs

✨Chili Peppers

✨Gum

✨Dark chocolate

✨Apple Cider Vinegar (If you are willing but it may effect your teeth so i’d suggest to wash you’re mouth but not brush teeth)

✨Blue Berries (BURNS FAT!!!)

✨Cinnamon

✨Greek Yogurt

✨Raw Veggies

✨Soup

✨Salad

✨Nuts

✨Oats

✨Straight up honey

✨Water (bruh)

✨Diet Sodas (that are 0 cal)

✨Ginger

✨Any thing super low in fats and under 100 cals

I suggest eating fat burning items or low fat items and also low calorie items too so you can eat a bunch of them and not have to worry like fruits and veggies! This was just my foods list also the calories depend on the brand except for natural items so i didn’t include them. I usually try to stay under 300 calories when i’m not fasting. I also suggest eating more than i do and allowing more items i’m just strict on myself. 🍇

🏋️𝙒𝙊𝙍𝙆𝙊𝙐𝙏𝙎 💪

This is my personal but i like to have a total net of -1000 or -900 calories (because i’m so young this doesn’t even burn but 3-4 pounds a week), i suggest more like 300 a day net 😅

What i like to do to burn those calories are:

✨ My 500 calorie workout- You can find this in one of my 30 day thinspo challenges.

✨Take cold baths- For my average time i’m in the bath I burn around 399 calories check out one of my older posts on how many calories you burn when in the cold bath for a certain time.

~Also I exchange for every night (because i lovveeeeee hot baths) so i take a hot bath one night but i do 2 rounds of my 500 calorie workout and then if it’s a cold bath night i do one 500 workout and a cold bath to burn 399 calories, also that’s on fasting days. On my restrictive days i burn 300 (look up ways there’s a bunch) and then a cold bath and one workout or two workouts and a hot bath.

😑 𝘽𝙊𝙍𝙀𝘿𝙊𝙈 💤

Days with none or lack of food can feel extremely lonnnggggggggg or can be extremely boring, here are something’s i do when i’m hungry, craving, or bored and trying not to eat~

✨Look at inspiration

✨Sleep

✨Excersize

✨Scroll on tumblr

✨Listen to music

✨Brush my teeth (stops cravings and makes ur teeth pretttyyyyy)

✨Bathe

✨Online School (CoRoNa TiMe or if you actually do this)/Homework

✨Clean out my food hiding place (if parents aren’t home)

✨Draw or do art

✨Shop Online (or irl after quarantine)

✨Plan Outfits for tomorrow

✨Text my frenz

✨Walk my dog

✨Bake (! DISCLAIMER !: I UNDERSTAND BEING IN THE KITCHEN IS AWFUL FOR CRAVINGS BUT JUST ONLY THINK ABOUT NOT EATING WHAT YOU’RE MAKING AND BEING KIND AND GIVING IT TO FAMILY)

✨Write down calories for when your away from the screen and around food

✨Think about how good hungry feels compared to how that food tastes

✨Hang out with friends but not if they are going out to eat (when this is over)

✨Study

✨Watch fat people eating/Fat people mukbangs

✨Watch fat people cringe or dancing cringe

✨Look at the mirror

💔𝘾𝙊𝙉𝘾𝙀𝙍𝙉𝙎 🥺

This will be referring to your questions and concerns about your eating disorder and ,if you are not ready to receive help (please do if you can), how to reply to your parental figures, families, and friends concerns and questions.

Your Questions and Concerns~

“What about my hair falling out?”

👒 If your hair is falling out i would suggest to look up ways to keep thinning hair in good condition and also buy hair strengthening products if possible. 👒

“I can’t do this!”

💞 DO NOT i repeat DO NOT DO THIS IS YOU DO NOT WANT TO! but if you want to but believe you can’t, just remember to stay strong and you got this!!! 💞

“Is it bad that i’m so cold always?”

🧤I mean it’s going to happen, it’s a symptom of not eating and also a symptom of being thin so it’s gonna happen. I suggest just putting on a jacket or a few layers of clothes on your cold area🧤

“How do i dodge meal time?”

🍽 Dodging mealtime is the worst struggle for me like ever! I just can’t do it! I also feel awful wasting food but if it comes to being thin, there’s no choice. I usually say i’m going to the bathroom and start up a conversation before and continue talking about it while leaving so they don’t notice i’m taking my plate to the bathroom and i just put it in my hiding place in my room (that’s right next to the bathroom) and if your room isn’t close to the bathroom then find a hiding place in the bathroom wether it’s putting a container under the towels or in a shelve i’ll find a place but then take a little longer and if they ask what took so long say you were fixing your hair (if you say this do it but fast) or you were trying to clean under your nails with soap, if they notice less food say you got hungry while fixing your hair (i recommend the hair one)🍽

“Why isn’t the ABC diet/Rainbow diet/other diets not working for me but others do?”

👎🏼This is because either you didn’t count cals correctly or because you didn’t workout enough but a lot of the time these are just not not for some people like a lot of diets aren’t enough for my preferred daily weight loss or are too high calorie for me to lose anything. 👎🏼

“How do i answer questions or comments my friends and family make?”

👇🏼 Answers are below! 👇🏼

Family and friends questions, comments, and concerns~

“Have you lost weight?”

-I suggest answering like “Not that i know of” or maybe “I’ve been sick” but for that one make sure your parents know you have recently so if one of them are asked by the family member who asked they say you were or lastly “I don’t think so, but i just started putting more effort into [sport you play or are practicing] recently so maybe but if any just a little.”-

“Are you okay? I’ve noticed you’ve lost weight?”

-I would say “Oh i’m totally great! I don’t think i’ve lost weight?”-

“You look great! Have you lost weight?”

-I would reply with “Oh thank you! Maybe a little, I’ve been eating healthier lately so maybe that made my skin clearer and me a little slimmer that’s all.” and the always “Not that i know of but thank you so much! May be it’s my new [clothing item], I think it flatters me!”-

“Are you sick?”

-I would say “No, I wouldn’t be at this gathering would i?” say it in a laughing tone not rude.-

“Jeez you’re a stick”/“Oh my god you’re so skinny!”

-I think you could just roll your eyes at “Jeez you’re a stick” and say “What?” at the second one.-

“Do you have an Eating Disorder?”

-This is very risky! I would only make an excuse if you are just not ready to get help yet. Please receive help if you can! but my excuse would be “What’s that, never heard of it?” and if they explain just say “Wow thats really weird i wonder why people would act like that?!”-

“Eat.”

-Classic “I already ate.”, “No thanks maybe in a bit!” and lastly “I had a big [meal before].”-

🦷 𝙃𝙔𝙂𝙀𝙉𝙀 🧼

Here are some eating disorder hygiene issues that and i will provide ways to prevent or deal with these.

•Lack of bodily functions (urination and excretion/defecation) ✨:YES I KNOW DISGUSTANG!!! as you should know under eating and drinking (which sometimes people under drink during eating disorders?) will have the effect of lack of these practices. i don’t think there are any healthy ways to prevent this if you are restricting and i DO NOT promote laxatives they can kill you! although i would deal with this simply by just not caring and maybe eating fruit which can help lol sorry i understand this is disgusting.

•Dental Hygiene ✨: as some people know the act of purging is common which can effect your dental hygiene and can even rot your teeth. i do not promote purging (or any other disordered eating acts BUT ESPECIALLY NOT PURGING!)! it is going to hurt you physically and mentally so if anything maximum restrict. but as we know you can’t just fix it by saying that so here are some tips to prevent teeth rot from purging~ {1. Don’t brush your teeth right after! this dissolves the enamel even more! 2. Floss and rinse mouth with water/mouthwash straight after 3. if you can, chew and spit an anti-acid} also anorexia can weaken bones and as we know teeth are bones so i just advise to brush your teeth every morning and night! 🦷✨

•Body Hair ✨: I understand this is also gross too but people who don’t care enough i want you to at least have good hygiene so if you starve enough to get lanugo (excess hair growth caused by cold temperatures due to starvation). You can keep these hairs or remove them i would advise to shave so you can appear nice but if you don’t care and would like to stay warm keep the hair!

🦴 𝙇𝙊𝙊𝙆𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙁𝙊𝙍 𝙏𝙃𝙄𝙉𝙎𝙋𝙊 💞

This is something i find very sad because it’s very exclusive. so many POC are struggling with this evil illness are rarely seen in thinspo and if so they usually aren’t just modeling by themselves but with another pale person. I suggest that if you have a certain amazing attributes to you and your body look for thin people that are like you, and also the lack of curly hair in the industry is disappointing as well. I’d also just like to say most models are white, with blonde or brown hair and blue eyes but that literally is so exclusive so please just somebody find a diverse page. I’ll be posting some if i can find any! 🌎💞

When i find more things to write about i’ll add more xx 💖

[bakugoukatsuki-rising]

"...And this is how Ejiro Kirishima became Katsuki Bakugo's best-man at his wedding with Izuku Midoriya."

I’m just gonna get straight into this one!

----------------------------------------------------------------

It had been a little while since they had last spoken, maybe about a month. There was an increase in villain activity, meaning all highly rated heroes needed to be on call and ready for action at any time.

It was after the Number 1 and 2 heroes finished off a set a villains that the announcement was made to the world. Something Izuku and Katsuki had been planning for a little while now. 

“HEY, ALL YOU EXTRAS! I GOT A FUCKING ANNOUNCEMENT!” 

Katsuki eagerly took the microphone the interviewer was holding, Izuku bowing in apology while the blond stomped his way toward the camera man. “You know that wonder duo bullshit you all like to go on about? It’s fucking official, cause we’re getting married!” He quickly shoved the mic back to the interviewer, who was left with a ton more questions than answers at that point. 

Izuku had never made much progress with the press, but he knew Katsuki had no problem with it, so they agreed to let the explosive man take the lead for this one; though Izuku couldn’t help but wonder if it was the right after the shocked expressions from all of the staff around them in the parking lot they ended up in at the climax of their battle. 

Despite the shock, the interviewer seemed to get themselves together quickly, moving to Izuku with haste. “Deku, could you elaborate? Ground Zero stated you’re getting married, what does that mean?”

Izuku glanced at Katsuki who was snarling at the individual conducting the interview, but he sighed and let out a gentle chuckle. Lifting an idle hand, he rubbed at the back of his neck to calm some of his nerves.  “Well, it means...that we’re getting married. I don’t know if the news ever caught on, but Kacchan and I have been dating for a few years now, and we’ve decided to get married.” 

The announcement had been public for about two weeks when Katsuki finally decided to make the call. The rise in villain activity had died down, and there was finally a small gap they could consider a break. Izuku had taken to visiting his mother and All Might, while Katsuki angrily debated on calling Kirishima for at least a few hours. 

They decided to meet up at a local cafe not far from his place, as Kirishima hadn’t traveled far in his hero work, choosing to stay in the areas he was most familiar with.  The crimson haired hero was ecstatic to see his friend, even bold enough to wrap his strong, solid arms around him before being promptly smacked off with a small explosion to the gut. It did no damage, as expected, and Kirishima laughed it off with ease. 

Katsuki let the other hero ramble on and on for a little while, talking about the work he had been doing and the villains he had caught. Though, Katsuki knew the majority of it, as he’d frequently tuned into the news to check the areas Kirishima was watching over to ensure all was well. However, that would be some information he’d take to the grave with him. When it seemed the overly excited man began to relax, wanting Katsuki to talk up more about his own life, he decided to contribute to the conversation. 

“So dipstick, did you watch the news recently? I made a pretty important announcement, and I ain’t repeatin’ it so you better have seen it.” 

There had been no mention of the marriage announcement throughout Kirishima’s rambling, so Katsuki was curious if he had even known about it in the first place. He watched carefully as the man before him seemed to grow a bit somber, his normally eager and anxious gaze becoming more gentle and mellow.  “Of course I saw, Bakugo. You think I’d miss that kind of announcement when just before that you kicked some serious villain ass? I guess I was a little sad about it, I would have wanted you to tell me personally.” 

Clicking his tongue and scoffing at the other’s sappy comment, he shifted his own gaze to the window, watching as the people outside went about their own lives. There was no stopping the bit of heat that flushed his cheeks, his gaze becoming hard as he struggled to articulate himself without becoming overly angry or eccentric. Without notice he snapped his head back toward Kirishima, slamming a fist down on the table and causing a few customers around them to jump in surprise. 

“Listen!” He snapped louder than anticipated, but caught himself and leaned a bit forward into the table separating them. Kirishima blinked in confusion as he watched Katsuki, he followed his example and leaned his body in as well. 

“You’re gonna be the best man at the wedding, ya got that? I’m ain’t takin’ no for an answer.” There were small pops on each of his fingers as he held his hand up, and he watched closely as Kirishima’s facial expression transformed from confusion into pure joy. 

“Bakugo!!” The large rock of a man threw himself over the table, wrapping his arms around Katsuki’s neck and holding tightly onto him as the blonde growled and thrashed, not caring much for the mess he was making and the chaos he was causing. 

“You fucker! Get off! I take it back, you better not show up or I’ll fuckin’ kill ya!” 

But even with all the chaos erupting from the excitement of his friend, and his inability to properly comprehend the emotions he was feeling, he found himself content with the invitation. Kirishima knew him nearly as well as Izuku, and he couldn’t think of a better person he’d want standing next to him when he finally got married. 

----------------------------------------------------------------

bruh thIS HAS ME SO IN MY FEELINGS ABOUT KIRISHIMA’S AND BAKUGO’S FRIENDSHIP OMG

Thank you so much for this, I love it!!

[bohemian-socialite]

Why I NEEDED the COVID-19 (Coronavirus) Quarantine... 8 Ways the Pandemic put Life into Perspective...

"If you don't come out of this with a new skill..." blah Blah..BLAH! Whatever. Look, Here's the thing. Some of us have been running ourselves into the deep end since birth. I exaggerate but NO!

..and DON'T COME FOR those of us who used this inconvenience to pause reset and re-align our lives. So before anyone asks what "new skill" you "learned" during the quarantine... Don't feel bad for saying these 8 things.. because i surely do not feel bad about.

1.Quality Time with my S/O-

My husband and I have been married for nearly 6 years.. and because we were in the middle of our life grind when we tied the knot, naturally, we did not go on a "honeymoon," and have yet to do so to this day. (Yes we've gone on trips but not an actual honeymoon.) We were more focused on my husband getting settled in his career, me finishing school, getting rid of debt and buying a home. Needless to say, the COVID-19 quarantine was an opportunity for us to really spend some quality time together, without the hustle and bustle of airports or family gatherings, etc. and this type of quality time was so much more intimate than a "vacation would be. Plus, might i add, that we are both very hard working people! So sometimes, a vacation for us would be just taking a day or two off and staying home to play a new video game for him, and for me to just to take care of things that you need to take care of.

2. An Opportunity to Relax, Rest, Be Lazy AF and to have my PEACE HUNTY!

I'm not exactly the nicest morning person, but I am an early riser, thus, a morning person. On most days, I'm up by 4AM, at the gym by 4:30AM and headed out the door by 6:40AM to take my butt to work. But ya'll... not having anywhere to go, or a damn thing to do, for once in my life, brings a sense of refreshment that no ice cold drink, on a desert summer day, could give you. CHIIIILE... let me tell you about how good I slept in! I don't even really do this on the weekends!! But man quarantine has a way of your body making a schedule for you. I followed my body's schedule for the entire time, and BABAY.. IT FELT GOOD! We're always running and pressed for time, or punching someone else's time clock and the beauty of sleeping until my brain woke me up was glorious!

3. Patience puts $#!t into perspective.

This is so simple... but it stuck with me and helped me see things from a different point of view. I posted about this on my IG and tumblr. (Check me out on social media! =====>) But I'll put it into context.... at one point, EVERYTHING and EVERYONE got on my everlasting nerve... OKAY?! I had to ask myself.. "Is this really annoying me, or am I that irritable?" 9 times out of 10 it was the latter of the two. So these 3 things helped me to calm TF down before I popped off!

Be Patient with Myself.

Be Patient With Others.

Be Patient with Time.

...and this kind of became my daily mantra. It helped open my mind, heart and ears to those around me and myself.

4. Re-Connecting- with old friends, family and making new friends .

I'm a very social person and in recent years, ironically, I've picked up on some introverted tendencies. Nevertheless, this is something that we were all able to do. I saw and spoke to family member and friends, that some of which, I hadn't seen or spoken to in nearly 10 years (Judge Yourself!). I'm kind of embarrassed about it BUT you know... LIFE HAPPENS bruh... You turn around and blink and its been a decade. Next think you know, your friends's kids are getting driver's licenses and tattoos. LIKE WTF?! Either way, I was happy to link back up and talk about some of the fun and stupid things we did, and even making plans to see each other again soon. It was nice to have something to look forward to and something that would add value to those relationships.

5. I was actually productive....

...with the $#!t I wanted to be productive with...Let's get that part straight! I'd always dreamed of a job where I could work from home, with my laptop, and video conference calls and whatnot. And when I got that wish... my productivity SKYROCKETED... for about 2 weeks. (I'd exhausted all of my work by then and was waiting for new things to do.) After the 2 weeks, I started working on home projects that I'd left unfinished or never even started. In the evenings, I would work on my personal projects, which I would never have the energy for after a long day of work.

No, it wasn't a new skill, but I figured out where I wanted to go with everything I was doing. I was able to redevelop, recreate, and repurpose my vision... Thus, "The Bohemian Socialite," Blog . :)

6. Self-Care became a "thing"... for me at least

Now don't get me wrong, I love a trip to the nail or hair salon. I'm a sucker for facials and masssages. BUT.. where was I gona go to do that... if everything in the free first world was closed?!

Oh... but there is a place.... YOUTUBE hunnty! I started watching other people's 67-step morning-care routines. Never in my life would i EVER do a 67 step routine. However, in watching these videos, I realized that my skin and face could use some extra care. And because I'm on this new sustainable beauty journey, I figured, WHY TF NOT?! And I did... And it was good.  I'm sure my body will reward me when I'm older for this.

I applaud everyone who does anything of this nature consistently. Quaratine taught me to incorporate some sort of self care or you will surely lose yourself. Not gona lie, TBH for a few days the struggle was real But i bounced back even better baby. :)

Not only did i revamp y skin care routine, but I also revisited some of my favorite past-times and hobbies, like roller skating, painting, yoga and meditation. It felt good and I needed it. It made me feel beautiful and sexy again, just spending the time to take care of myself internally and externally.

7. Supporting Local Businesses and being an Advocate for other Small Business Owners

I'm not even going to go into extensive detail... but my community needed my support and I was able to do it proudly. Not just local businesses, but my friends' and families' businesses as well. And it was in easy, simple and mostly FREE ways.

8. Regained my appreciation for life, nature, silence, the things I have and creativity.

I needed the hard reset. In fact, I think we all needed a hard reset or re-calibration of our lives. The entire world was literally just grounded by mother nature herself. We were doing too much.. and she said we need to sit TF down and shut TF up. Some people embraced it for what it was. Others, did stupid $#!t. like...protest. <insert BIGGEST eye roll>

Either way, we were reflective of what nature and life was telling us.

The whole Quarantine, Covid-19, Coronavirus debauchery, was what I needed to recenter myself and re-evaluate my goals and plans for the future.

Have you looked into how the pandemic has changed your life?

I want to know if your experience was similar to mine, or if you want to add something, leave me a comment. :)

[johnnusz]

‘I’m going to say my piece’ on pandemic spring break

Udonis Haslem

❮❯

Miami Heat forward and Liberty City native Udonis Haslem discusses the coronavirus pandemic, what it was like growing up hungry in South Florida, and why spring breakers needed to stay home to avoid COVID-19.

BY UDONIS HASLEM

This article by Miami Heat veteran Udonis Haslem was originally published by The Players’ Tribune and contains explicit language.

You see that video going around of these silly ass college kids down in South Florida on spring break? Talking about, “If I get corona, I get corona, bro,” and all that nonsense?

Man, I’ll tell you one thing for sure.

Those kids have never been hungry a day in their life.

They never had to worry about nothing more serious than a pop quiz. But they’re still coming down here — coming to our state — in the middle of a pandemic, acting like nothing’s going on??

I’m not usually the kind of guy who does this sort of thing … . I don’t write a lot of articles. But if you f--- with my city, I’m going to speak on it.

So I’m going to take a second here and say my piece.

It’s funny — these kids fly down to places like South Beach for a couple days to party, and they think that’s Miami. But they’ve never seen the real Miami. They’ve never been to Liberty City. They’ve never seen the side of this city that’s living check to check. The side of this city that’s surviving meal to meal.

And let me just tell you something, man — there’s a Liberty City in every city. It’s regular people, with regular struggles. And I don’t know how I can get everyone to listen, but I say this from the bottom of my heart: The people growing up in the real Miami? They’re as vulnerable during this crisis as anybody.

And I’ll tell you one more thing — this idea about those people, that because of this coronavirus they’re going to go hungry? They were already hungry. Way before all this. They were already worrying about where their next meal was gonna come from, or where they’re gonna sleep tonight, or how they’re going to get their next dollar.

And that’s what I need to get off my chest right here. Because it’s been eating me up — to see all this coverage of our city, from all these people who don’t even know what they’re talking about, that’s just focused on a bunch of kids acting stupid.

This ain’t your f---ing beach, bruh.

This is not your spring break.

This shit is real life — and come to think of it, it’s more than even that.

This shit is life and death.

But how do I know, right? I hear y’all already, with your comments. I’m just some rich basketball player. How can I relate to that? What do I know?

Man, I grew up in Liberty City.

I had never even been to South Beach until my rookie year in the NBA.

We were living a whole different life across the bridge.

We saw things no kids should see. Drug addiction was all around us. Homelessness was all around us. My mother, God bless her soul, struggled with addiction and was homeless for years until she turned her life around.

I was that kid getting those free school lunches you read about on your Twitter timeline. Matter of fact, most of us in my elementary school had lunch cards. We went to school to eat, you know what I’m saying?? Those fish sticks were everything. That little carton of chocolate milk was everything. If you skipped school to f--- around in the streets, you might go hungry that day.

I didn’t know anything different. To me, that was just the norm. Like if you had three dollars to buy some chips and a sandwich for lunch? Man, I was looking at you like you were the weird one, you know what I’m saying?

And so while I might not be a doctor or a congressman or anything like that, I do know one thing — just as someone who grew up where I grew up: If our schools have to close down for a long time because this corona thing gets out of control, millions of kids are going home to empty refrigerators.

The worse this pandemic gets, the worse it’s going to be for those kids.

Really think about that.

And also ask yourself this question: Have you ever been hungry before?

I mean really hungry? Not just, like, “Damn, bro, I gotta get on Grubhub right now” hungry.

No, I’m talking hungry.

Because here’s something that only those who’ve really struggled will ever know: Everything changes when you’re hungry. Everything, man. Your whole entire perspective changes.

I’ll tell you a true story. Any time I see a bowl of raisins? Mannnnnnnn. Listen. To this very day, if I see raisins, it’s like I get triggered. I mean it — if I saw a bowl of them on the table right now, I might go apeshit. I might damn near flip the table over. Can’t see ’em, bro. Can’t smell ’em. Makes me sick.

It’s because when I was growing up, we had too many nights where the only thing we had for dinner were those little red boxes of raisins. Nothing else, no lie. That was the main motherf---ing course. Man … you know that smell I’m talking about? The smell of that California Raisin-ass cardboard? You’d be sitting there thinking, “Alright, it’s only about 15 hours till I get to school tomorrow so I can get some fish sticks.”

And that was the reality for lots of kids before all this coronavirus stuff and all this economic pain, you know what I’m saying? That’s just life. Kids going hungry, that’s our normal, right?

If this crisis doesn’t wake us up and make us change as a country, I don’t know what will.

When the average person in Middle America thinks about this virus, and this “social distancing” talk and all that, maybe they picture a bunch of schools shutting down and then these kids going home to a bunch of nice houses and chilling for a couple months. Eating snacks, playing video games. Mom’s working from home, doing conference calls. And I’m glad that’s a reality for so many kids.

But for a lot of kids, for the other half of America, it’s not reality.

For them, home might not be the safest place.

Maybe there’s a reason these kids don’t go home until it’s time to sleep, you know what I’m saying? Maybe there’s a reason they stay out at the basketball court or at the Y until they lock the gates at night.

Might be violent in that household, you feel me?

If this situation gets out of control, and we have to keep everybody off the streets? That house they’re holed up in might start to feel more like a prison.

For a lot of kids, the truth is that school is the only structure they got. It’s the only food they can count on. It’s the only safety that’s guaranteed.

You take that all away? You better be prepared to protect them.

And that’s really the thing about this crisis that we’re living through right now. This moment we’re in … it’s not about you. It’s not about your spring break, or the way you wanna live your life. It’s like, yeah, trust me, bro — I wanna chill, too. I wanna work out at the gym, too. I wanna be on the court again, grooming these young bucks.

So hell yeah, I want my old life back, too.

But this ain’t about me. It ain’t about you.

This thing is about us.

This virus is going to affect everybody, especially the most vulnerable.

So if you got a nice, stable environment? Keep your ass home.

If you got a roof over your head? Keep your ass home.

If you got a crib with Netflix and a refrigerator full of food? Keep your ass home.

I can’t tell you what’s going to happen with the coronavirus. I’m not a public health expert. But I am a certified O.G., and I’m definitely qualified to tell you about what’s going to happen in these streets with so much of the economy shut down. If people don’t take this situation seriously and pull together as a nation, millions of kids are going to suffer.

They didn’t ask for this life. They got dealt this hand when they came out the womb. It’s our responsibility as a nation to protect these kids. You don’t have to be rich to do your part. You don’t have to be a saint, neither.

You know, I tell people all the time, I was raised on the wings of the O.G.’s.

If it wasn’t for other people reaching out their hand to me, I never would’ve made it out of my situation. I never would’ve lived my dreams. And listen, you didn’t have to be Mother Teresa to help a kid out, you know what I’m saying? You didn’t have to be working for the Red Cross to catch me on the corner where I wasn’t supposed to be, and hand me five dollars, like, “Take your ass to the store and get some food. You’re not supposed to be here.”

My O.G.’s did that for me. They looked out for me, even though I wasn’t their blood. True story — I never had a real NBA jersey growing up. My O.G. Buckwheat gave me one straight off his back. Literally took it off, handed it to me. For nothing.

You know whose jersey it was?

Alonzo Mourning.

Ain’t that crazy? Imagine telling Zo, “Couple years from now, this broke-ass kid from Liberty City is coming for your rebounding record, bro!!!!!!!”

And you know, Buckwheat … let’s just say he didn’t have a regular job. But he always made sure I was good. All around me, I had people like that. In the middle of the struggle, we had each other’s back. Sometimes people look at the inner city like it’s all crabs in a bucket, like it’s every man for himself, but that’s not the full picture.

We survived because there was always somebody willing to come pick you up at four o’clock in the morning, no questions asked. There was always somebody willing to give you the shirt off their back, or the basketball shoes off their feet, or the last five dollars in their pocket.

Can we really say we got that same feeling of solidarity right now, as a country?

I look around on social media, in the middle of this disaster, and I see a lot of people talking about “me,” you know what I’m saying?

My way of life. My vacation.

If we don’t start talking about us, then a lot of people are going to suffer.

You know how many kids would hit me up in my DMs every day, before all this went down, talking about, “Hey UD, you got a job for me? I know you own some Subways. I’m just trying to get some money for my family.”

Every day.

I’m no doctor, or no politician, or no public health expert. But I know one thing, man. We all got a responsibility to those kids.

So where my O.G.’s at? Who gonna step up for them? I got two ideas for you.

If you can afford to donate some money to support meals for the kids who really need it, help out the people at Feeding South Florida.

Every $1 provides about six meals for people who really need our help right now.

If you can’t? (And believe me, I understand if you can’t.) If you can’t, you can do something real simple. If you got a roof over your head and some food in your fridge and you don’t have to go to work to feed your family, just do the easiest thing in the world, man.

F--- your spring break.

Just keep your ass at home.

[badfanfics]

fallback - chapter four

series masterlist

chapter four: our forever this december (december 2017) 

the story was previously called untitled

 in honor of me getting the results i needed for my dream uni, i rlly wanted to post this today (but it may also be rushed, so i apologise -- i’ve been struggling on this chapter for a few days now and just kinda gave up on writing it and writing it and writing it over and over again +++ the next few chapters are some of my favorite things i wrote) 

Four months.

It’s been four months since Tom has kissed her. It’s been four months of radio silence – no small talk or polite congratulations like before, even when Bea posted news of her rescued, therapy dog named Winnie (short for Winston) however Logan received congratulations when she posted news for her newly adopted retriever (named Gracie). Winnie, not only recommended by her therapist, was technically a maid of honor gift from Logan, who paid the adoption fees and the initial supply of food.

With that in mind, it’s been four months of Bea spending the days with Noah and the nights dreaming of Tom.  

Since August, Bea and Noah were inseparable due to being press partners for the last leg of the promotional tour in South-East Asia. South-East Asia was beautiful – even Winnie loved the adventure – but Bea needed to keep busy, she needed space from Noah. It was her coping mechanism.

It’s like this anecdote she told her therapist; working kept her driving, but once she stops – she has to go back and make sure nothing in the back seat or trunk broke. With that in mind, if she is driving full speed (which she is now doing), then the sudden of stop will only bolt the suitcases at the driver seat.

In this case, driving prevented her from observing and noticing her personal doubts outside the window; which happen to be the doubts about her and Noah’s relationship, which only hammers into her head every time she has a free moment to think about Tom.

Unfortunately, she dreamt of Tom every night. These dreams only became toxic for her everyday life. In particular, when Noah received news that he’ll be playing Peter Kavinsky in Netflix’s new film called ‘To All The Boys I Loved Before’, Bea tried to do something special for him.

To all the boys I loved before, she scribbled onto a gift card, you’ll never be as fantastic as the man I have today. Writing that felt like a lie. She felt spiders crawl underneath her skin, crawling up to her head until she ripped the gift card apart. She knew a similar letter that would only be speaking truth; to the man I loved before, I can’t stop loving you.

The dreams could be reminiscent of nightmares; flashing close-ups of Tom and all the things she love about him, a hazy – dream like quality that seemed to be old tape on film, a new magical location, him repeatedly exclaiming ‘I love you’ – the three words she always wanted to hear him say but had to leave when he actually had the guts to say it.

She was sprinting down an imaginary mall – Tom beside her as they challenged each other to be the first one outside to the amusement park right outside. “You fucking rascal!” Tom called, laughing as he tripped her. Due to being a dream, Bea landed straight in his arms – laughing her head off. “Yeah, that’s what you get for getting a head start, you cheat.” Tom pressed his lips against hers.

Cheating. Could this be considered infidelity? Sure, this is happening in her imaginative world – but this is emotional cheating, isn’t it? Bea was conflicted. She loved Noah – definitely not in the way she loved Tom – but she loved him and didn’t want to hurt him in any way. But she know she already has.  

December has been marked by Bea’s agents as her hiatus month. They, specifically her main agent named Mary, had completely banned her from doing any projects or wedding planning to prevent her eventual, future burnout. This has been her busiest years yet; she has literally not spent more than a week at home or not working in the last two weeks.

Due to this forced hiatus, Bea found different ways to cope. In particular, she finally went back to her therapist in regard to her anxiety and minor depression. She started going to therapy after her parents passed away in an unfortunate circumstance, causing her to have PTSD. Eventually, the PTSD did get better over time and she has no trace of it anymore, but she has been a celebrity and a household name since she was a child. All her mistakes and all her experiences were under a magnifying glass by the media, under endless speculation and criticism. As years passed, she learnt coping methods like breathing techniques and took medication – the anxiety and depression had decreased in severity and now she goes to therapy to keep everything under check, prevent burnout, and to talk about anything bothering her (especially since she feels like she can’t talk to anyone else). But she hasn’t had time to go until the hiatus.

But this time Dr Ishani can sense something different; Bea is holding something back. But Dr Ishani cannot push. But when they did push on December 8, the therapist only recommended that Bea ‘spend time alone’ to ‘work through her thoughts’ due to the fact she was still holding back.

Her body was practically begging to work, aching to be hunched over a script – highlighting her lights and noting down character development. She was itching to be learning a new skill for a movie or to be training for some insane stunt. So, when she stopped going to therapy, she started going to the gym – finally switching her gym facility because the constant memories of Tom and her training together. Eventually, the mere action of punching a boxing bag caused her to give up and go swimming instead.

Swimming was her simpler way of coping – something her parents (and later her uncle) used to take her to do during stressful times or celebratory times in order to calm her down.

“Hey hot stuff,” Her boyfriend catcalled, “mind if we join you?” Bea popped her head out of the water once she reached the edge of the pool, terminating her series of laps. Brushing her hair out of her face, she sees Noah in a pair of trunks and Winnie in her life vest.

“Not at all.” She grinned, pushing herself off the wall as an invitation for them to jump in where she previously was. “How you doing?”

Instead of responding, Noah let out a sigh as he submerged himself into the cold water pool. “It’s so nice to see you relaxed.”

Bea chuckled, submerging herself further in the pool to force her to swim towards Noah rather than swim. “Just praising the fact that Los Angeles doesn’t get cold.” Just as Noah was crouching down to peck her lips, a plop from Winnie jumping into the pool stole Bea’s attention.

The actress jumped to her feet, walking over to her pup who now smells like wet dog.

“Is she coming with us to Miami?” Bea was almost offended by the question, playfully splashing water at Noah.

She held the soaked dog next to her face, Winnie peppering kisses on her face as she spoke. “The reason I got a smaller dog, was not only because she’s cute, but because she can travel with me. I did so much research into the Havanese, and they’re so good for travelling – so of course.”

Noah kneeled down in an attempt to submerge himself further into the water. “So, we’re gonna see Logan and William tomorrow before flying out to Miami for Christmas, New York for the few days after, and then back here for the New Years Eve party?”

“First of all, ew Florida.” Bea teased, earning herself a splash of water in his face. “Second of all, all correct. Thirdly, and finally, ew we’re going to be on and off planes so much in such a short period of time.”

The brown-haired boy became bewildered, “Bruh,” He breathed out, “you’re literally flying all the time anyway.” She could attribute this disgust for flying, which replaced her usual love for travelling, due to meeting Noah’s family for the first time.  

Bea rolled her eyes, before wrapping her arms around his neck. She took him by surprise, jumping on his knees – making them both fall into the water, laughing.

This whole month felt like it was lasting forever; Bea, although right now hating the thought of flying, cannot wait to actually do something that itches her need to do something new or do something that is reminiscent of her work. She did her best at forgetting about her doubts; gymming, swimming, talking to Logan every day, making sure Noah is constantly with her – but Tom always comes back to her.

The next day, Ray – Bea’s personal security guard  and close friend - went to Bea’s two bedroom home and picked up the suitcases while they were out with Logan and William.

“Okay, so the New Years bash – I made you a dress.” Logan enthused, “so you better come to my place before you go to their’s.”

The New Years bash is one of the most celebrated events in Los Angeles, surrounded by paparazzi and has a guest list for ages. This will be Logan’s first time attending and she’s, what she calls, ‘crazy excited’ for the event while Bea – Bea is excited for the moment her head hits the pillow when she gets back.

“Babe,” She smiled, “you didn’t have to.” Bea, sure – didn’t want to go, but she’s going for Logan. She hasn’t seen Logan this excited since William has proposed. Since then, she’s been busy wedding planning or spending hours making up for her future honeymoon time for her boss. It’s the reason she hasn’t been joining her for the ‘Titans’ press tour or even the filming.

Noah looked over to William, “Are you coming too?”

William gave a soft smile, knowing that Noah and him only met a few months ago. “Nah, if any photos come out of me in a party like that, I may lose credibility as a lawyer.” He noted, “Plus, I’m much more of a homebody. Logan is magnetized to homebodies and tries her best to drag them out.”

Logan rolled her eyes at the comment. “It’s not my fault you two hate parties.”

William and Bea gave each other a ‘this is bullshit’ look, before bursting out laughing because of an inside joke between the two. The joke concerns Logan’s craziness when drunk which only further repels them from attending.

“Oh shut up, you two.” Logan quickly switched the conversation, “So, Miami – you excited?”

Noah smirked, “I’m so excited for her to meet my family.” Bea’s face, although nodding, was showing her obvious tell towards Logan and Logan made a mental note to ask her about it when she got back. “Taylor was her biggest fan at one point.”

Bea gave out a half-hearted chuckle. She didn’t want to meet his family. She didn’t want to push anything. Yes, they’ve been dating for a year; an anniversary they celebrated just last week with a replica of their first date, but everything was moving too fast for her.

Maybe I moved on too fast, she told herself – even if she knew she ‘moved on’ too fast. But then again, she questioned if she can even use the phrase move on.

“So, wedding – ��� Bea changed topics after half-heartedly agreeing with Noah, which Logan can see her nibbling on her bottom lip. Bea can lie effortlessly – after all, she’s an actress. But when she’s not acting or not assigned to play with a false story or technically not true story, she’s nibbling on her bottom lip. Bea’s uncle actually pointed it out to Logan after Bea stopped going to therapy and he didn’t believe she was alright “Your mom and dad had emailed me about your registry. Are you sure that’s everything on it? I don’t want to post it until everything is on it.”

Logan rolled her eyes. The two used to never switch topics out of what felt like nowhere. They used to hound each other until they opened up everything. This wasn’t the same Bea she knew a year ago.

After the conversation became more awkward and silent – two characteristics that never were applied to the trio’s or the duo’s old conversations, Bea called for the bill. “We should probably head out and g et to the airport and make sure everything’s good with Winnie.”

“Alright babe, have a safe flight and merry Christmas” Logan let her off. She made a mental note to talk to her about this when she gets back.

Bea suddenly remembered something she put in her bag. “Oh shit, thanks for reminding me.” Bea pulled out a gift for both William and Logan – a tradition that came out from living with Logan for what felt like forever. It was a his and hers gift. “Do not open it until Christmas or I’ll kill you both.” The two chuckled, before swearing on their lives.

Due to her uncle having moved to New York, Bea usually flies to New York for Christmas or the day after. That said, if she doesn’t fly to New York – she spends her Christmas with Logan, who usually opts out of Christmas with her boyfriend’s family due to their snobby outlook on her and can’t go celebrate with her family as they moved all the way to the Philippines a few years back. So Logan and Bea don’t visit them often and when they do – it’s over the summer for a sort of vacation. The duospend the morning having a small breakfast, they have a medium sized lunch with William, and then they let William off for Christmas dinner. Despite his family’s snobbish attitudes, since William and Logan are getting married, Logan has been obligated to go now. Despite Logan’s obvious hatred for them, William’s family makes her miss her parents and wonder what would’ve happened if they raised her.  

---

The flight to Miami felt never ending.

The hostesses practically fawned over the two. This was the first time Bea rode a budget airlines in ages and it was just not professional. Like, yes, they’re fans – Bea loves talking to them. But they came over to her every ten seconds, offering some sort of drink, even if she had her sleeping mask on. At one point, Winnie even barked at them.

“I just hate being fawned over.” Bea mumbled as Noah laughed, pulling the shared luggage behind them as Bea sleepily hugged his other arm – Winnie walking on a leash in front of them, the leash tied around Bea’s wrist. “Like I’m just like them! I’m just a person who needs sleep. Oh God, sleep. Can we meet your family tomorrow in the morning rather than tonight? I’m so tired.” Bea whined, both wanting to push back meeting them whilst making up for sleep.

“Uh, try not getting awake from the flashes up ahead.” Noah pointed out to the big group of paparazzi who had formed outside.

Bea groaned, “How do they find out I’m travelling?” Noah chuckled, pulling out of Bea’s embrace and letting go of the suitcase to open his hand carry backpack and passing them both hats he packed for this occasional. “I love you.” Bea said appreciatively, slipping on the basketball cap and tilting it to hide her sleep deprived face. She didn’t want Tom to know she’s meeting his parents.

Leaning down, she picked up her dog – who gets quite anxious by the series of lights. She blocked out her view, holding her close in a hug and making sure Noah is right behind her, thus blocking Winnie’s eyes from direct flashes. “Protect our child!” Noah exclaimed, making the both of them chuckle – Bea more tired than him. “I would carry you like I normally do but…” He motioned to the suitcase, making her roll her eyes. As much as she pretended to hate being thrown over his shoulder, it was one of the ways he made her fall for him.

Noah managed to book an AirBnB a street away from his parents house. As soon as they got there – after Bea fed and walked Winnie - Bea passed out onto the bed from exhaustion whilst Noah quickly dropped by his parent’s house to explain why Bea isn’t currently there.

A figure and herself walked down a familiar-looking hotel hallway to a door number that has now been obscured. Being here felt like a memory, rather than a dream.

“Mum and Dad, this is Bea.” Tom’s voice. “Bea, this is my Mum and Dad.”

It started out like the memory, but quickly took a left turn.

“You’ll never be good enough for our son.” The twisted version of the sweetest woman alive said, her voice seeming to go through distortions. “He will walk out on you. He’ll never love you.”

When the twisted version of his hilarious father started opening his mouth, he pushed her instead. She fell back into another room, this time with Noah and his family – who were staring at her expectantly.

“Do you love me?” Noah’s voice was haunting, repeating itself over and over again.

“Do you love our son?” His parents demonically screamed, over and over again. Suddenly, she was surrounded by all of them – Tom, Nikki, Dom, Paddy, Harry, Sam, Taylor, and Noah’s parents until Bea fell down a hole, falling and falling and falling and

“Fuck me.” Bea panted, waking up from the nightmare in sweat. She looked down at herself and forgot she hasn’t changed since yesterday afternoon. She saw Noah beside her, almost cuddling into her. She saw the outside window and saw the sun retreating from darkness and back into the sky. Panting, Bea started trying to regulate her breath; and it happened as soon as she saw Winnie’s head pop up, turning slightly, as if detecting something was wrong.

Bea pat her lap, wanting to cuddle her puppy before she took a quick shower and made an attempt to look presentable. The puppy peppered her with kisses, despite her face marked with sweat. “I love you too.” She mumbled into the pup’s ear, only granting her more and more dog kisses. Lifting the Havanese dog up temporarily, she let Winston rest on her pillow before escaping to take a cold, cold shower.

----

The actress was nibbling on a snack she bought at the airport, meaning to eat it as a snack after meeting his family but the pack of m&ms quickly became her breakfast instead.  

“Good morning candy-girl.” A voice pulled Bea out of her thoughts and her anxious nibbling. “How was your sleep?”

Bea smiled, “Okay. How was yours? Happy to see your family?”

“They’re ecstatic to meet you.” He grinned with his signature smile. “I told them to expect us for dinner because you’ve never properly been around Miami.” Bea praised the lord that the meeting was pushed up once more.

So that’s what they did – Bea, Winnie, and Noah explored Miami, from all the crooks and crannies that Noah found as a child or his favorite places to visit. Bea loved this more than any tourist tour – she loved knowing what a local felt like or trying her best to understand the footprint as it is, without the shoe’s print that the media creates for them.

Eventually, the sun went down, telling the group to make their way to their family’s house for the Christmas eve dinner.  

The whole dinner, Taylor spent the whole time fawning over a celebrity she and her friends idolized for years whilst her parents were trying their best to catch up with their son and get to know his girlfriend. However, Bea was obviously feeling awkward and like she didn’t belong.

Eventually, the dinner was over.

“So, sorry if this is insensitive, but do you personally celebrate Christmas?” His mother asked Bea as she approached the older woman at the kitchen with the dirty dishes.

Bea had a hard time explaining this constantly. “In a way I suppose. I mean, I’m not religiously catholic or Christian. In fact, I’m actually an agnostic.” She started, going to the drying station of the kitchen, “but my uncle raised me whilst learning different beliefs. I’m pretty sure one year we followed Buddhist beliefs, and another year we followed Jewish beliefs due to our ancestors, but my Aunt Susan and my father celebrated Christmas – so my uncle and my mother would always make sure Christmas was the one tradition we never forgot about. Easter, meh. But Christmas, Christmas was the real holiday.” She smiled, “It’s not a religious celebration for me, but a celebration to appreciate family and friends and those who love you.”

Noah smiled at the answer, watching her from his place sat on the counter – thankful she decided to celebrate it with them. “She always gives her best friend a gift – and last year, when we were working together during December for Titans, she gave every crew member and cast member a gift – either a letter or a small gift or a big gift. It was always meaningful and relevant to her relationship with them though.”

So I’m a family magnet, that’s good news. She thought to herself.

She was in Miami for five days, the last day being Christmas yet every day felt longer than the day before. December really felt like forever.

Finally, she was in her New York studio she bought purely so she won’t ever bother her uncle whenever she visits in NY. It was no way near the Hamptons, but it was in Manhattan and she easily can get to the Hamptons. This was also because she knows her old bedroom doubles as the kid’s playroom and she doesn’t want to interfere with their playing.

Unfortunately, they’d only be in New York for just slightly over two days. Noah wanted to get back to Los Angeles as soon as possible and prioritized his own family. Which was fair, in Bea’s eyes. She just wishes she spent more time with her uncle, her sibling-like cousins, and her aunt.

The first night – the family had dinner. Noah was obviously comfortable with everyone, playing with the kids whilst Susan, Robert, and Bea caught up. But Robert asked Noah if he could steal his niece away the next day for a day out, something they used to do once every month. Luckily, Noah had planned to meet his co-star Lana the same day.

They did what they usually did; a breakfast of cupcakes from Magnolia Bakery. Then they went to an arcade, walked around the streets and did whatever came to mind, got a hotdog and soft serve at central park for lunch, and then visit an old theater. After the old theater, they go home and binge action movies until theyf all asleep.

Everything was the usual (not including the presence of the barking dog who ran in front of her with a bounce in her step, excited to experience a new city); the two spoke about what’s going on, feelings, any movies they’re excited to be working on or watch, any theory or online scandal – literally anything that came to mind. They usually strayed away from complicated topics, wanting an easy-going day.

Unfortunately, Robert had other plans. Once the two sat down at their usual bench in central park, Robert looked towards Bea and sighed. “What?” She chuckled, thinking her uncle was just being his usual dramatic self.  

“You don’t really love him, do you?” Robert asked nonchalantly, the two of them eating sorbet hotdogs in Central Park. “You don’t seem to have the same spark you had when you were with Tom.”

Bea’s head fell into his shoulder as a response, “I don’t like talking about this.” She mumbled.

“Well, okay, but all I’m saying is you have to think about it.” He noted, “I want you to be happy, and I’m not sure if you’re happy with him.”

So, those are the moments that Bea uses to summarize her December hiatus that seemed to go one forever; giong to therapy, stopping, working out, spending time at the pool with her dog, going on dates with Noah, going on double dates, spending time with Logan and William, attempting to wedding plan, meeting Noah’s family and having an awkward talk about religion, spending time with her own family, getting confronted and avoiding it with her uncle, her uncle-niece day, and then going back home.

But as soon as she got home, she was bombarded by Logan with three dresses she created for the New Years Eve bash.

Bea was running on minimal sleep – her nightmares about Tom only recurred so she’s barely slept, she was exhausted of being around Noah – their December felt like a lifetime with him and she was now more sure than ever that Noah wasn’t the one for her, and all she wanted to do was work. Bea wanted to get home and let her head fall onto the pillow, potentially burying herself in a series of blankets and pillows for months.

Little did she know, the night was going to change everything – in particular, it was the night that changed the definition of Bea’s normal routine and feelings. It was the night she swore she fell in love with Noah again. 

Yet, the night that changed everything is now a bunch of blurred memories; something Bea pushes herself to forget, similar to Noah and Bea’s forever that December.

i’m so sorry this chapter is so long and gets rushed towards the end --- this particular element of the story is important for the build up of the story but not the full story if that makes sense so i wanted one chapter on it but not much more but i also had a hard time knowing what to cut out / what to add details on.... ++ i finished the later chapters and i got too excited to post them so i wanted to get this chapter out of the way xD 

 i hope you like it!!! please feel free to send feedback or requests! 

taglist :

@charismas-world / @athermosofsad (it didn’t let me tag you so i linked you and hoped it work?)

[iamknicole]

Fight

Bloodline Family Series / Parental Paragraphs

"Aye, Milo."

Taking his head out of his locker for a moment, Milo looked at his classmate with his brow raised. He was trying to switch his math book for his Spanish one while he waited for his cousins to meet him. They always walked to their third period class together.

"Your mama comin' to the game Friday?"

Milo rolled his eyes as he continued with what he was doing. "She's always at my games, VJ. Everybody knows that."

Milo watched VJ's two friends laugh and whispered behind him. His patience was starting to wear thin. Milo and his cousins never messed with VJ or his friends. Not their type of people.

"So, shit," he shrugged, "That mean your fine ass aunties comin' too then?"

"And so are my uncle's and my dad. You wanna say that shit to them? Cause I'm sure they'd love to hear it."

"Stop being so hostile, man. Just put in a good word for me and my boys. We know they fine asses get real lonely when they men ain't here."

Milo slammed his locker, cradling his Spanish book on his other hand. He glared at the three boys, he could feel his face start to heat up. "And what the hell would they want with y'all?"

"They look like they could use some dick," VJ said grabbing onto his dick. "Especially ya moms. Her face always tore up, ya pops must not know what he doin."

"Get outta here talkin about my mama. Don't get messed up."

VJ and his friends laughed as other students started to notice the tension. "Stop bein like that, Milo. I'm tryna help. Ya moms is just my type too. Small waist, nice titties and a fat ass. Shit, aunties got ass too."

As VJ threw his head back to laugh, Milo dropped his book and swung. His fist connecting with VJ's jaw. The hit knocked VJ off his feet. His friends that were once laughing now stood silently, watching their friend for his next move. None of them expected that from Milo. Just as VJ picked himself up a small crowd started to form around the boys, VJ's friends faded back into it.

"Your soft ass hit me in my fuckin' mouth. Ya ass can't take a joke?" VJ complained holding his jaw.

Milo huffed ignoring the pain in his hand. "Don't talk about my mama or my aunties. I told you that."

"I say whatever the fuck I wanna say. You got lucky that time, next time you better hope you don't miss."

"Whatever, bruh. Keep them out ya mouth."

"How bout this? You tell them to keep my dick outta they mouths then withcha bitch ass."

Milo attacked VJ's face and upper body with repeated blows. VJ was able to get two hits in before Milo tackled him to the ground. Those punches only pissed Milo off even more.

While Milo was beating VJ up, Eli and Koda were coming out of the stairwell. They were held up by their literature teacher. Koda saw the crowd and pointed it out to his cousin.

"Bet it's some hoes fightin'," Eli joked.

Koda laughed as they approached the cirlcle. "Let Auntie hear ya ass say that shit."

They boys bowed their way through the fight. They laughed at their peers who were screaming for someone to break it up and at the ones recording the fight. But when they got to the middle, their smiles were gone. Milo was still on top of VJ, VJ was attempting to fight back but it wasn't working. Milo was beating his ass. Both boys cursed to themselves before pulling Milo off of the boy. As they were pulling Milo back, the assistant principal and the principal came barreling through the tight circle with school security in tow. School security and principal grabbed the cousins up, escorting them to the office while the assistant cleared the other students and checked on VJ. The cousin got thrown inside the principal's office. The security left them with the principal.

"I expect this kind of behavior out of you two," Principal Brown said looking at Koda and Eli. "But you, Mr. Fatu. I'm shocked that you allowed your cousins pull you into this mess."

Eli sucked his teeth and threw his hands up. "I'm real offended that you think that low of me, Mr. Brown. It wasn't even me, I was the peace maker. Koda too."

"Peace maker my foot. You just close your mouth until your parents get here."

"Forreal," Koda stressed. "The fight had started before we even got there. We broke it up, Milo was beatin' VJ ass."

"Watch your mouth, Mr. Reigns. Is that true, Mr. Fatu?" He asked with the phone to his ear.

Milo said nothing, he stared straight ahead. Opening and closing his fists.

"It's true," Eli answered loudly, "I ain't get nan lick in. Cuzzo ain't let us get a two piece, nothin. Straight dogged VJ ass."

"I was talking to that Mr. Fatu. Not you, Eli." Mr. Brown said dialing the first number. "And watch your mouth."

"I just got a question. Why they get 'Mr." and I'm just Eli. That's messed up, Mr. Brown. Thought we were better than that."

All three sets of parents pulled up at the same time. The men allowed their wives to go in front of them. Jimmy and Trinity were pissed, they didn't have time to deal with Eli and his attitude. Kandice and Roman were annoyed, Koda was always following up Eli. They were sure whatever happened could have been avoided. Apryl and Jey were upset that Eli no good ass couldn't stay his ass out of trouble therefore Milo couldn't stay his ass out of trouble. Simba was just happy to be out of the house and able to go to Milo's school. He skipped in between the group of parents. The secretary allowed them into the conference room where the principal had moved the boys. Jimmy and Trinity went straight to Eli, both of them slapping him in the back of his head.

"Yoooo," he sung out holding his had, "Yall wild. That wasn't even me! It was Creed over there."

Kandice twisted Koda's ear. "What did you do?"

"Me? Im the most innocent thing sittin' in here. Mike Tyson over there knocking people out and that one said hoes again. It's them Fatu boys, Mama. I'm an angel."

Roman smacked the back Koda's neck, glaring down at him.

"I'm just sayin', Pop."

"How about you don't say anything?" Roman warned.

Simba climbed into his brother's lap, the parents sat on either side of their children waiting for the principal to tell them what happen.

"Seems that you sons were involved in a fight with another boy. The boy is bruised up pretty bad, there's an ambulance on the way for him."

"Ambulance? What did y'all do?" Trinity asked glaring at her son. "Yall jumped that boy? For what?"

"What? No! We," Eli stressed pointing to himself and Koda, "didn't get nan lick in, Ma. Milo fought that boy."

"Stop lyin," Jimmy spat.

Mr. Brown cleared his throat. "If I may. Eli is telling the truth. I viewed the cameras, it was a one on one fight. Mr. Fatu fought the other boy. Eli and Mr. Reigns here we're trying to break it up. But Eli, you did, in fact, get a hit in. I saw that much. Mr. Reigns did also but it was after Mr. Fatu hit him on accident and Mr. Reigns assumed the other boy hit him though."

"See. Here we go with this Eli stuff. I wanna be 'Mr. Fatu', call fight night over there Milo."

"Shut your ass up, Elijan."

"Yes, Mama." Eli sat back in his chair pouting. Even when he wasn't in trouble, he was in trouble.

"So what you're saying is my son did this," Apryl asked with a smirk. "Can we see this footage? Cause I don't know if I believe that my goofy baby did that. Especially for the boy to need an ambulance."

Mr. Brown went to stand but Eli held his hand up making every adult in the room suck their teeth. "Koda got the video, Auntie. Shorty from first period sent it to him." Eli smirked.

"Why that lil heffa got your number?" Kandice whispered.

"Not the time, Kandi," Roman chastised, "Give me your phone, Koda."

Koda unlocked his phone and went to the message thread before handing the phone over. "Aight. Pops don't scroll left or right and as soon as the video is over look away."

Roman glared at his son as he snatched the phone out of his hands. The twins, Trinity and Apryl got up to get a closer look at the phone. They gasped and cussed to themselves as they watched the beat down Milo gave. Once the video was over, Apryl couldn't help but smile. She was proud. Patting her son on the back when she got back to her seat.

"I'm just still confused. My son is goofy as shit, he don't do stuff like that." Jey argued.

"I mean, he is my kid, Jey. I taught him something. Bedside that goofy shit he got from you."

"Look at his hands, Apryl. His knuckles are bruised and bleeding."

"That's cause he beat his ass, Jey."

Jey waved her off turning his attention back to the principal. "Why were they fighting?"

"Apparently the boy made some unsavory comments about both Mrs. Fatus and Mrs. Reigns. Mr. Fatu attempted to settle the issue verbally but the boy kept talking."

Trinity looked around her brother in law to Milo, a small smile on her face. "I appreciate you standing up for us, Lo. But you didn't have to do all that."

"We're grown, baby. Whatever he said doesn't matter, you know it wasn't true."

"With all due respect, Mama," Koda added. "VJ mouth is reckless. If it's anything like what he said to me and Eli the other day then ion blame Milo for gettin his ass."

"Yeah. Me and Koda got his ass though. He tried Milo cause he thought my boy wasn't bout shit." Eli shrugged. Trinity turned slowly to look at her son. She wanted to tell him to be quiet but she knew all he was trying to do was help.

"What did he say to y'all, Ko?" Roman asked now starting to calm his nerves.

Koda looked at his dad then at his mama and shook his head. "I can't say."

"Tell me, Koda."

"I'd like to, Pops but I can't repeat what he said. There's women in the room," He sighed, "One of which will beat me if I tried."

Every adult in the room then turned their attention to Eli, who sat playing with his fingers oblivious to their watching. Jimmy smacked his chest lightly gaining his attention. "What's up, Dad?"

"Tell us what he said to y'all."

"But there's women and a child in the room," he smirked.

"And your ass don't care any other time. Start talking, Elijan."

"Aight, aight. Don't hit me," he demanded pointing his finger at his mama. She pushed it away and told him to talk. "He asked me and Koda if we thought our Mamas would fuck him, course we said fuck no and he got all pissy. So then he was like Mama, Auntie A and TK got dick sucking lips so I punched his ass in the stomach. He kept talking shit though. He was like 'ima fuck ya mamas and be ya step daddy' or some stupid as shit like that so Koda slapped fire from his ass. He said something else so we caught him after school and beat his ass."

"Koda Makai," Kandice sneered pinching his arm.

"What, Mama? We wasn't letting nobody talk about y'all like that. Fuck we look like? I'm glad Milo beat VJ ass. He need to learn to keep his mouth shut."

"That's enough, Koda," Roman said squeezing his shoulder. Koda sucked his teeth and sat back in his chair.

"He lucky we wasn't there or it would've been worse," Eli added with a nod.

Apryl rubbed the side of Milo's face still wearing her proud smile. Simba laid against his brother's chest, playing with the buttons on Milo's shirt. "I'm proud of you for standing up for us, baby. But maybe next time you hold back a lil bit."

"Apryl," Kandice and Trinity called.

"What? I'm just saying. I'm not condoning fighting but it was for a good reason."

"Stop talkin, A." Apryl rolled her eyes at her husband, she went back to rubbing her baby's face. They didn't have to be proud of him, she was.

The principal stood to leave the room. "I'm gonna go get their paperwork. Mr. Reigns and Mr. Eli will be suspended for eight days per policy. Even though they were helping, it's against policy and they both threw punches." Their parents nodded, they understood. "And Mr. Fatu would be suspended for ten days as well as the other young man. They will not be able to play in the game this Friday, either."

As soon as the door closed behind the principal, Eli started laughing. "Ayyye. He gave me respect. I knew we were cool."

"You shut your ass up," Jimmy chastised. "You just happy you ain't in trouble this time."

"Damn right. We bout to enjoy these days," he laughed holding his hand out to Koda. Koda went to slap his cousin's hand but he could feel both parents staring holes in the sides of his head. "Come on TK and Unc. We ain't do shit this time. We not in trouble."

"Didn't your daddy tell you to hush?" Kandice asked sternly.

"He actually told me to shut my ass up, TK. There's a difference." Eli sassed then put his hands up to block the hits he knew was coming.

"Lo, you good? You hurt?"Jey asked examining his hands.

"No, he not hurt. My baby don't have a scratch on him. That's my baby."

"He's your baby but you ain't realized his ass ain't said shit the whole time we been here, Apryl."

Apryl's smile turned into a frown. She was so happy to hear Milo finally got into a fight and won that she didn't realize he was still upset. "What's wrong, baby?" She asked softly. Milo pushed away from the table, he sat Simba in his Mama's lap before getting up. Jey asked what was wrong but Milo ignored him, making a b line for the door. His father, uncles and cousins trying to stop him as his mama, brother and aunties watched in confusion. They held him back but that didn't stop him from trying to get out the door.

"Where you tryna go, son?" Jey asked now standing in front of Milo. "Where you goin, baby?"

"To get VJ. I wasn't finished."

"You got em, cuz. I'm sure his ass regret all the shit he been sayin." Eli assured patting his back.

The men held Milo back until he stopped fighting them and laid all his weight on his father. Jey held him tightly, whispering a few things to his first born. He kept talking until Milo's breathing became regular again. Apryl watched them starting to feel bad. She had no idea he was that upset. The principal came back in with their papers. He had questions but decided against asking and just gave their papers out letting them know they could leave. Jey held onto his son as they walked through the office in front of the rest of the family. They passed VJ on their way out, all of them shocked at the damage Milo had done. All of them except Simba. Simba wiggled out of his Mama's arms to run over to VJ. He screamed then started attacking the young man. "Don't touch my brodder! My brodder!" Apryl and Trinity pulled him off, trying not to laugh. Kandice got him from them, holding Simba tightly under her arm as he kicked and screamed out the office.

[revwinchester]

Don’t Mess With Baby

Summary: The Winchesters and the reader catch a werewolf case right in the middle of a prank war of epic proportions.

Challenge: Halloween With Dean Drabble Challenge hosted by @torn-and-frayed Prompt: Scaring Each Other

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 999 (phew, I don’t lose!)

Warnings: cursing, practical jokes, major character death?, it feels like angst but it’s not - I promise

A/N: This was fun and keeping it under 1000 words was a challenge (I’m always the first to admit that I’m a wordy bitch!).  I had wanted to get this posted on Halloween but Kink Bingo took over my life at the end of October (but I got the blackout! If you’re over 18, check out @impalasutra for 25 kinky fics!). 

Like I said in the warnings, it’s going to feel angsty but stick with me on this one.  If you’re really worried you can check the tags for spoilers.

Don’t Mess With Baby -

“This is not going to end well…” was all you heard before you pushed the motel door open.

You walked into the room, your eyes drifting to where Sam, Dean, and Cas were all seated.  “What’s not going to end well?” you asked the now suspiciously quiet group of men.  You looked longest at Cas, who had been the one you had heard speaking.

Dean stood and crossed to where you stood, pulling you in for a hug.  “Nothing, babe,” he assured you before planting a kiss on the top of your head.  

You didn’t believe him, not for a second.  You knew he had something up his sleeve, there was no way he didn’t.  The two of you had been playing practical jokes and trying to scare each other for weeks, upping the ante each time.  You had gotten Dean good just a week ago.  You had snuck out of the motel room and broken some clear glass bottles, planting the glass next to the Impala’s drivers side door before driving the car around to park behind the building.  

When Dean woke up and tried to get breakfast the next morning, he had flipped out.  You had tried to play your role and act surprised but eventually the giggles had won out and Dean figured out you were behind his car’s disappearance.  You had been waiting for payback ever since.  

You couldn’t dwell on your boyfriend’s words for too long, though, because it turned out that Sam had caught another case a couple of hours away from where you were now.  It would be your fourth case in three weeks but the work was important so you did your best not to complain too much as you packed everything into the Impala and drove off towards whatever horrors were awaiting you in the next town.  

“It sounds like werewolves,” Dean told you in the car, “so we’re up against the lunar cycle if we want to take care of this before anyone else gets killed.  I’m gonna drop you off at the library while Sam and I go to the morgue.  We need you to check out old newspapers, figure out how far back this town’s been targeted.”

It was an odd request but you brushed it off.  There was only one day left to deal with the wolves before they would be back to looking and living like regular humans for a few weeks.  You figured it was better to check out every angle right from the start and you tended to be the best researcher of your trio.

Your afternoon was spent surrounded by newspapers and microfiche but you didn’t find anything helpful.  You couldn’t help but feel like you had wasted your time instead of doing something actually useful for the case.  

You were about to call Dean and tell him the bad news when Castiel appeared in front of you.  The angel looked pained but, then again, he often had a similar look of discomfort on his face.  “Dean and Sam have tracked the werewolves to a house just outside of town,” Cas intoned.  “They would like me to bring you to them.”

You were instantly transported to the edge of the town where a creepy looking house backed up to the woods.  “I don’t understand,” Castiel commented, “they said they would wait by the car.”

You looked behind you and, sure enough, the Impala was just a few feet away but Sam and Dean were nowhere to be found.  The idiots probably went in on their own, you figured, rolling your eyes.  You heard a shout.

“DEAN!”

It was Sam’s voice and he sounded broken.

You took off running in the direction that Sam’s voice had come from, Castiel a few steps behind you.  As you rounded the back of the house, you raised your gun, unsure of what you would find.  Scanning the scene, your heart sank.  Sam was there on his knees, hovering over something - over someone.  You dropped your gun and ran to Sam’s side.  

Dean was laid out on the ground, bloodied and beaten with a gash running across his chest above where his heart should be.  His clothes were torn to shreds and there was just so much blood.  You were frozen in place, you couldn’t believe your eyes and, yet, you couldn’t look away.  A choked sound came from somewhere and when it happened again, you realized it was coming from you.  

You dropped to your knees beside Dean’s body.  Your rational side was telling you there were still wolves out there, that the time for mourning would come, that there was a job to be done but your emotional side was winning out.  You lightly ran your fingers across your boyfriend’s forehead, brushing a few hairs back into place.

Dean’s eyes popped open and he lunged up towards you with a “Boo!”

You fell back onto your ass and let out a little scream.  Once you got your heart and breathing under control Dean helped you to your feet.  You smacked his chest.  “Dean Winchester, what the hell?” You asked, your voice incredulous.

Dean smirked down at you as best as he could through all the apparently fake blood and gore that covered his face.  “Don’t mess with Baby, baby.”

“You made up this entire case because I parked your car behind the motel last week?” You asked and Dean nodded, a grin plastered across his face.  “Well, you can sleep in your damn car, Winchester, because you are certainly not sleeping in my bed tonight.”  

You stomped off in the direction of the Impala before you spun around and pointed a finger at Sam and Cas, “And I can’t believe the two of you were in on this, too.”  You walked away again, waiting until your back was turned to the men before letting a small smile grace your lips.  Dean had gotten you good with this one.  You had some major revenge to plan.

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[brillixdis]

The Married Millennialz: BEAN BOOZLED CHALLENGE GONE WRONG!

*a short intro plays, displaying their photos and logo along the screen with Fall Thru by Meek Mill playing in the background*

Brilliant: [settles into her chair after hitting play on the video. she adjusts her position in the seat, pushing her hair over her shoulder before finally lifting her head to flash the camera a smile] Hey hey hey! It's the Married Millennialz and we're back with another video, I'm Brilliant! We've been gone for too long and couldn't wait to upload for you guys. [turns to Zyair with a soft smile]

Zyair: Yes, i'm Zyair, welcome back. We've been extra busy in our day to day life but we wanted to give yall a fun challenge today and pray for forgiveness. -chuckles some before jokingly placing his palms together- This should be a good one. I know i'm amped.

Brilliant: Definitely been busy, but that doesn't stop us from checking in with you all. The consistency is about to be next level, just watch and see. [chuckles as she looks downward and then back up as Justice shifts his hands throughout his own bowl of plane jelly beans, trying to control himself from eating them] We also have another guest, the ban of the hour and soon to be winner of The Bean Boozled Challenge, Justice Chunky-Man O'Neal! He's got his own bowl to eat and enjoy the challenge with mommy she daddy, isn't that right? [looks toward him with a smile]

Justice: welli welli? [he cheeses wide, trying to imitate the word jelly bean. he lifts a few into his chubby little hand after she speaks and shoves them into his mouth to chew]

Zyair: He said jelly beans wait for no man. -laughs as he views Justice- But you heard correctly, we're gonna be knocking out the Bean Boozled Challenge and i'm ready. I been ready. Brilliant been crying over these beans for the past two days but I’m ready.

Brilliant: [drops her jaw with a small chuckle as he begins to shove the jelly beans into his mouth] Not ye-you know what. Never mind, chunky, have at it. [laughs lowly] But yes! I have been crying because I don't wanna eat something that's really nasty and I nearly die after eating it. Am I wrong?!

Zyair: Not wrong. -laughs lowly as he looks in her direction- Just a punk. -shifts his focus toward the camera afterward- We gon see what she's really made of in a minute.

Brilliant: Mark your words, you may have one up on me because you enjoy eating just about any and everything. [snaps her fingers after looking in the camera due to her slick remark] Spin first.

Zyair: I'm slightly offended by that. -chuckles before leaning forward to view the wheel, surveying the different flavors before eventually spinning; observes as the arrow turns before soon landing on a white colored bean- Oh, nah. -places a fist to his mouth as he stares downward at the choices- Oh, nah. We got coconut or spoiled milk. -glances to Brilliant as he begins to laugh harder- Let's test fate.

Brilliant: The funny thing about this is that I hate coconut flavored things and spoiled milk is the worst. [laughs lowly] You'll be okay though, I remember those days when I'd come to your apartment and your milk would be thick as helllll. I mean thick. Expired two weeks ago thick, so grab that jelly bean!

Zyair: Steady at my neck. Don't be putting my business out. -laughs before nodding in agreement- I ain't a fan of coconut either but it's the lesser of two evils. -reaches into the bowl to select a white jelly bean then waits on her- On three?

Brilliant: On three. [looks towards Justice with a small chuckle as he mimics his father's motions by putting his hand into his own bowl] On 3 you've gotta eat one jelly bean with daddy, okay? [after he smiles in response she begins to count] 1..2..3!

Zyair: -listens for her countdown then quickly pops the jelly bean into his mouth before immediately gagging once he bites down- Fuck! -turns his head as he hurriedly spits the candy out onto the floor while his face remains twisted- We ain't bring no water or nothing? -stands to his feet and instantly walks off camera-

Brilliant: [she begins to laugh almost immediately the moment he hops up and leave. turns to justice as he munches on his fruity jelly bean with a big smile before she turns to the camera] I know y'all saw that right! He couldn't even chew it! You've gotta eat the whole thing.

Justice: [after watching his father eat the jelly bean, he chews his own in surprise. he hops up with his bowl and heads out of the sight of the camera] dahhh-dee! mine! [he exclaims down the hallway, being heard from the room]

Zyair: -returns minutes later with a tall glass of water and Justice in tow, sipping as he reclaims his seat- Don't even say nothing. -chuckles- Did you eat yours?

Brilliant: Nope. But I know it isn't spoiled milk! [chuckles as she pops it in her mouth to chew with a smile, her eyebrows moving up and down to tease him before she finally leans over to spin the wheel, she screams out dramatically after the wheel lands on the orange jelly bean labeled barf or peach]

Zyair:-eyes the options then shakes his head- After the L i just took, im ready to tap out. -laughs to himself before setting his water aside while Justice climbs into his lap- That was disgusting. I underestimated this game.

Brilliant: Stop being a punk. I played you last round and didn't eat mine, but this time I'll do it, I'll be a trooper. [she chuckles, sucking in her bottom lip and turning to view the camera] Pray for me, y'all. Count down, babe. [picks up a jelly bean]

Zyair: -chooses an orange jelly bean then playfully offers it to Justice before taking it back at the last moment- Nah, it might be yucky, Chunk. -chuckles some then begins to count down- 1, 2, 3.. -pops the candy into his mouth, keeping silent as he discovers the peach flavor-

Brilliant: [lifts her jelly bean up after his count and bites into her only to have her entire face to twist into disgusts afterwards. she swallows almost immediately] YO! EW! [she hurriedly grabs the bottle of water, squeezing the plastic to chug down the water to relieve her mouth of the taste. she turns away from the water bottle with her tongue extended outward in disgust before turning to him] I don't like you! I ain't doing another, I refuse.

Zyair: -cracks up at her reaction then shakes his head- Nah, nah, everything was cool a minute ago when i had the shit end of the stick and now you wanna throw in the towel? Better take that.

Brilliant: [she cuts her eyes at him, her glare being caught by the camera] You know what, I'm no punk, go ahead and spin the wheel so I can show you I ain't no punk. [laughs as she crosses her legs, turning to the camera, pretending to whisper] If I pick another nasty one, he's laying on Justice's floor tonight. Bet.

Zyair: Aight, aight, let's go. -chuckles then reaches out to spin the wheel, chuckling once the arrow rests on a multicolored jelly bean- Tutti Fruitti or Stinky Socks. -turns his head to continue laughing, holding a fist by his lips- It can't be worse than that milk, man. -faces the camera once again- It cannot be worse.

Brilliant: [she chuckles when it lands on the jellybean of choice. reaches for a jelly bean from the pile and holds it to his lips] Nah, ain't shit worst then that barf. Now eat up.

Justice: me tew? [he asks with a wide grin, leaning over to try and steal the jelly bean she's holding]

Zyair: Where's your jelly beans, Jus? -chuckles then chooses the correct colored bean before popping the candy into his mouth, mimicking chewing without truly biting in-

Brilliant: Aye! I was suppose to feed you the one in my hand and I had a good feeling it was stinky socks! You cheating. [she chuckles, picking up a  jelly bean from justice's bowl to place it in his mouth] There baby, this is a dangerous game and I really would hate if you had to taste gym socks. [turns to the camera with a laugh] Y'all see that? Zy would've let him eat it. [pops the jelly bean into her mouth and chews, before hollering out with her mouth ajar dramatically] NO bruh! Ew! [she snatches her bottle up to wash away the taste of the regular jelly bean with water, trying not to laugh to herself]

Zyair: I wouldn't have, i wouldn't have. Ha! -obnoxiously laughs once she begins to rinse her mouth then confidently bites into his own jelly bean before instantly dry heaving due to the unexpected taste- Oh, shit.. -repeatedly shakes his head as he forces himself to finish while Justice looks up at him with curiosity- That's bad.

Brilliant: And that's what you get for trying to cheat! Chewing like a cow, when you really chew little a little grandma. [laughs lowly as she turns to the camera] Ladies, this is why you should know every single thing about your man, it comes in handy. [leans over to peck his jawline] Are we done putting ourselves through misery?

Zyair: Who was cheating? -laughs in mock disbelief- We're done. I gotta run to the bathroom and brush my teeth. -grabs the water to take a lengthy swig- Never again.

Brilliant: WELL! There you have it guys, the winner of our here challenge is Justice-Chunky-Man-O'Neal! He managed to eat the most jelly beans without even having a sip of water. [chuckles as she holds Justice's arms up in the direction of the camera] Say yay!

Justice: [he grins, waving her arms above his head as he cheers in excitement] yeh! yeh! yeh!

Zyair: The champ, ladies and gentlemen. -nods with a chuckle- In the meantime, stay tuned for new content. We're cooking up for yall.

Brilliant: Stay tuned definitely! The next video is gonna be worth the wait, trust me. [turns towards Zyair with a smile] Y'all know what to do though! Like up, share, comment, subscribe, allat!

Zyair: -offers the camera a thumbs up- Like, share, comment, subscribe. Until next time.. -tightens his arm around Justice's waist before leaning over to peck Brilliant's lips, reaching out to end the video soon after-

*A short outro similar to the intro plays, and credits roll along the screen]

 VIEW COMMENTS

Tia Bia: But why Justice smash them beans like that? I canttt.

kennikinz: Zyair, that chain is glistening, I can’t take my eyes off it.

justjordyn: Bruhhh ya’ll faces say it all, I’m never doing this shit.

idcidc30421: Brilli has a bad attitude lol..Zyair you wouldn’t deal with that shit if you fucked with me.

in-formation2910: Umm when are we getting a Justice ONLY channel? OR his hair care and skin regime???

Taylor Love: Here for Justice.

coritherapper: Brilliant how did you lip color stay on the whole video? Deets???

[cantstopthesignal2005]

kill yr gods

                                                 kill yr gods

              Anton Stewart sat transfixed by the panels of the graphic novel he recently checked out from the school library. The odd, melancholic spell cast by the kitchen-sink realism of the story was broken as his Journalism teacher, Ms. Combs, snapped her fingers.  “Anton. Anton! Excuse me! Hello! Thank you!”   “Yes, ma’am?”   “How are you coming along with your story? Kali needs it by Friday for the paper.” Anton looked over to Kali Wheatley, who sat hunched over with a large iced coffee, feverishly editing papers and adding comments.   “Uh, I’ll have a rough draft tomorrow, Ms. Combs,” he replied.    “Tomorrow? What happened to tonight?”   “I’m going to the concert tonight.”   “A concert? What?”   “The Canceled Alcohol show,” he brusquely informed her, his voice carrying an unmitigated bite to it. “It’s the concert I’m covering for the story. And since I haven’t gone to where the story is yet, I don’t have the story.”  Anton caught a few side-eyed glances and expressions of incredulity.    “Smart ass,” she blithely retorted. “See where that gets you in life. See where it gets you in school, or even in this class.”    Anton shook off his teacher’s cautionary attack with a brief, involuntary shudder. He returned to his poor posture and resumed the story. Comics were an integral part of Anton’s life. As a young child, he found solace in the altruism of the muscle-bound men and women who, burdened with great powers, sought to look after the meek and timid. He aspired to similar feats of greatness, albeit without any supernatural ability. Throughout middle school, Anton would obsessively write the phrase “I Will Grow Wings,” filling the lines of his composition notebooks. This was his mantra to remind himself of his personal endeavor to grow stronger and feel capable, soaring above his feelings of impotence. After discovering the cruelty of unprovoked violence and the ecstasy of masturbation, Anton rabidly tore apart the pages of his superhero comics, marking an estrangement from what he began to feel was the mythos of morons and losers.    Reality bloomed as Anton reached tenth grade, where he was fearful of the impending future and consistently horrified by the mistakes of the past. Without a car or a job, he didn’t have money of his own and would constantly depend on his mother for rides or pocket change, a chip on his shoulder regarding his own lack of agency had spread like a fever. The stories to which Anton gravitated were confrontational and brutal, concerning entropy, alienation, and depravity.  Unable to reconcile his anxieties and a lust for debauchery, Anton would vicariously approximate the insanity and genius of drugs by reading journals about the rough side of an acid trip at the devil’s hour.     The bell rang and Anton somberly ambled down the steps of building three to the courtyard. It was his lunch period and he planned to meet his friend, Peter. Peter was a friend whose binding tie was a similar love of literature and art. They would occasionally skip school and go to their local dollar theater and movie hop. Anton was unnerved as he saw Peter surrounded by people peripheral to their social circle, holding court at a brick wall, waxing poetic about the perils of too much vulnerability and compassion. He was wearing a black shirt with an image of Joe Strummer with bloodied knuckles and a towel carelessly draped around his shoulders. Peter looked over the circle of friends and nodded Anton over.  Characteristically overzealous, he extended his hand to shake Anton’s. “What’s popping, bruh?”    “I’m good. How goes it?”    “Yo, these are . . .  this is Larry. This is Dom. This is . . . oh wait, you know Chaz, right?”    “We’ve met,” Chaz curtly confirmed, gritting his teeth. Anton bristled at what he felt was an unmerited disdain.   “Uh, yeah. Uh, we’ve met,” Anton said, through staccato bursts of nervous laughter.   “What’s good, bro?” Peter asked, flashing his toothy smile, which appeared closer to demented than charming, as he hoped.   “Um. Just . . . just saying hey?”   “Well, you said Hey, kid,” Chaz said, rolling his eyes.   “I’m talking to Peter. If I wanted to talk to you, I would look at you. Chaz. Your fucking parents named you Chaz! What kinda shit is that?”   “You’re a fucking asshole, Anton.”   “Aight, aight, chill, chill.” Peter locked eyes with Anton and with a nod, dismissed him. Anton walked off, shaking with the rage of rejection. He fought the urge to, as he had when he was younger, scream, curse, and beat his fists against the ground into bloody pulps.  He wondered if remaining with his circle of friends was worth it.  He tolerated the occasional hectoring and outburst if only to stave off loneliness; his friends were a means to an end, and whether they knew that was unimportant. Anton was made to feel little, but always assured himself that they were even lesser than him since he never needed them.      The rest of the school day was an interminable slog, the only saving grace being that he would attend his first show later that night. As he approached the exit doors to the bus loop, Anton felt a firm tap on his shoulder. Violently whipping his head back, he saw his friend Alex, wearing a shit-eating grin. “Anton. Buddy. What’s up?”   “What’s up, what’s up?”   “What’s up. We were supposed to go to the diner, right? This is every Tuesday, we had plans, no?”   “Fuck, you’re right, I was just . . . it didn’t feel like a Tuesday.”   “Yeah, alright. So, we’re good to go?”   “Sure are.” The two walked over to the school parking lot, which Alex was grateful to have a spot in. He was the subject of great envy in their orbit for being the first to get a car, a job, and a girlfriend; there had been innuendos of him losing his virginity before his teen years, though no one asked to verify.  Alex’s relatively advanced social acumen inspired overzealous praise and myth making from his friends.     Alex drove at reckless speeds to Lynn’s Diner, a 1950s Americana themed coffee shop. There were black and white images from the days of yore for much of the wallpaper, framed photos of notable figures like Frank Sinatra and Benny Goodman occupying what little wall wasn’t taken by signs that said  “M A L T S,” “S H A K E S,” or “F R I E S.” Alex fiddled with the cylindrical straw container, delighting briefly in watching them umbrella.  The two walked over to a booth in the far corner, the seats cherry red, the table was eggshell white with sporadic bursts of dots making no discernible pattern.  Alex and Anton made it a habit to attend Lynn’s Diner every Tuesday at 3 PM, directly after school.  Tuesdays was when the waitress, Greta, would be working, and they were as much a part of her ritual as she was a part of theirs, having become one of her regular guests, to the point where staff would tease her about it. (“Hey Greta! Your boyfriends are here!”)    Alex and Anton waved off offers of menus, fully aware of what they wanted. Greta walked up to them, her hair a lot shorter than it used to be, dyed a fluorescent orange.  “Hey, loves,” she said, putting her hand on her hip. “Two doubles, no onions, extra cheese, pickle spear on the side, two cherry colas?”    “You practiced that,” Alex smirked.    “You know I did,” she smiled coyly.  “I ever tell you I was in theater?”    “No, but I saw you as Puck when you did Midsummer Night’s Dream with my sister, Shirley.”      “Your hair’s a lot shorter,” Anton abruptly remarked. Alex and Greta cocked their heads back, shocked by the jarring, unprompted comment.    “Uh . . .  yeah,” she said, visibly perturbed.  “Yeah, it is. I uh, I cut it . . .” She self-consciously primped the ends of her hair and shook her head.  “Uh, I’ll . . . I’ll be right back with your orders, love.” Alex shook his head disapprovingly, rolling his eyes.  Leaning in, he whispered, “Probably shouldn’t just like . . . shout something out while two people are talking. You know what I mean?”    “Yeah, but you said . . . you said it’s normal if someone like . . . it’s okay if someone inserts themselves into a conversation.”    “Yeah, but you have to know when to do it.”    “How would I know that?”    “Trial and error. This? Not the right time. Now you know for the future.”  Anton found himself resentful of the way people like Alex could float through life, aware of the right thing to say, when to say it.  He would often conflate their confidence and sociability with arrogance.  “I think I could get her number.”      “Isn’t she in college?”    “And you’ve never wanted to date a college girl?” Alex paused. “Or guy?”    “I mean, yeah. But guy or girl . . . I don’t think it would be, you know, appropriate.” Greta brought out their order on a plastic blue tray, forcing a grin. She dropped the order off and left without her usual parting banter.  Alex observed as Anton anxiously peered over to his watch.  “That’s maybe the third time I’ve seen you check the time since we got here,” Alex said, his mouth full of fries. “What’s going on?”    “Sorry. I have a show to go to tonight,” he explained.     “Who are you seeing?”     “Canceled Alcohol. I bought the tickets from Crates.”    “Crates . . .  Crates . . .  Crates, the record shop, Crates?”    “Yeah. Canceled Alcohol doesn’t really have a website or internet presence. I couldn’t cop them except locally.”    “I’ve heard of them. I know their shows are supposed to be like fucking super intense. I heard someone got knocked into a fucking coma there once.”    “Really?”    “This is what I hear,” he shrugged. Anton began to panic, his mouth drying up, his heart palpitating. He forgot to bring anyone for support to the show, and if he met harm as he was sure he would, there would be no help.    “Do you want to go?” he asked earnestly.  “I’m sorry, I should have asked you earlier. I can buy—”     “Nope,” he replied, unfurling a mischievous smile.    “Why not?”    “I think you should go this one alone. This one. I think, anyway.” The unspoken tension between the two was palpable, and so they completed their meal in silence. Anton became anxious with anticipation, expecting unspoken acts of violence to be visited upon him.  He’d realized that, upon stepping foot into the venue, he surrendered his control to the crowd and to the band; Canceled Alcohol was a band Anton was used to listening to at his own control.   He could turn their volume up, down, or truncate entire verses. The dynamic at the show would be diametrically swapped, his body now having to bend to the sway of the crowd and the ferocity of the band, which he assumed would be mighty; if his ribs were crushed, Anton was certain that the show would proceed without mercy.     Alex drove Anton home, generously playing Canceled Alcohol before ultimately deciding they “weren’t my cup of tea.”  Anton heard a vicious argument between his mother Marina and his brother Juan as he reached the front door. Knees shaking, he braced himself for the unfolding maelstrom.   “You’re a fucking cunt!” Juan yelled. Whipping his head back, he saw his little brother and dismissed him with wave. He returned to the object of his scorn and balled up his fists.  “You don’t have any idea what it’s like!”   “You still have to work, Juan!”    “Fuck you, bitch. I’m trying so fucking hard!”    “Smoking resin out of PVC pipes with your drop out buddies isn’t effort! You don’t do anything! I didn’t raise you like this!”    “You didn’t raise me at all! Abuela did! You lazy fucking bitch!”    “You’re so ugly . . .  you’re fucking . . . you’re just like him.  You’re stupid and you’re lazy. And angry. And you’re angry because you know there’s no place in this world for stupid, lazy people.” Marina shivered and shrieked as Juan tossed a cup of stagnant water at her. She stood, frozen with indignation. “I fucking HATE YOU!” Juan made a beeline for the door, shoving Anton against the wall.  Shriveling inwardly, he bit up the nerve to walk over to console his upset mother. Though Anton’s upbringing had been rife with turmoil, he failed to grasp the dialect of conflict and found himself at a loss for words. “Hey,” he said, his voice breaking. “Sorry.” Marina, wearing the humiliation of disrespect by her son, looked over to Anton with a fury scorching her face, her eyes bloodshot, her teeth jutting out from her lower jaw like a diseased dog; Anton went pale, unable to find his mother beneath her anguish. He rubbed his chest softly, hoping to nurse his racing heart back to normalcy.    “I hate you!” she exclaimed. “You’re ruining my life!”  Anton was fatigued from the day behind him, unwilling to contend with the mercurial tempers flaring in his house. While times spent with his mother were not all bad, he was frightened by how swiftly she could vacillate between Victim and Tormentor, just as he towed the line from Caretaker to Whipping Post.    “Mom, I love you,” he said, disgusted at his impish attempt to placate her.      “Yeah, your kind of love I don’t need.”  She walked up their stairs, groaning.  Anton took note that it was an hour and a half until doors.  Despite having negotiated the ride several months prior, he was aware that it would take an immeasurable amount of consoling to get his mother to drive him there now. He’d considered his options briefly before grabbing his ticket and darting out the door to catch the number 48 bus going to Ardenton, a town he knew by reputation (their high school football team often beat his) only. The venue, he read on a worn and faded flyer, was The Empire, 1709 Waterhead Boulevard, Ardenton. (“Real Hole In The Wall Shit,” as crudely promised at the bottom.)  He looked for any signs assuring him that he was on the right path, to no avail. As he shuffled through the streets, scanning the buildings for addresses, he came across a couple adorned in pelts, leather, and chains, and summoned the strength to approach them. As he neared, his eyes began fluttering, much to their bewilderment.     “Excuse me,” he said, gentling his voice. “I was . . .”   “Speak up, youngin,” the older woman said.    “Yes, hi. I was um. I was seeing. I was. I was wondering if you knew where The Empire was?”    “The Empire? Is that a store?” she asked.    Her partner, a much younger woman, chuckled.  “No, babe. It’s a concert place.”    “I don’t know this shit.”    “Sweetie, you’re gonna go up a block and two over.”    “Oh, okay. Thanks . . .  thanks so much.”    “Who’s playing?”    “Uh, Canceled Alcohol?”    “Roughneck shit,” she grinned, nodding approvingly. “First show?”    “Yeah.”    “Fuck shit up, dude.” Her partner admonished her with a playful slap to the back of her hand. “Be careful!” she’d warned him, shaking her head. He politely laughed and walked off.      Anton walked the blocks and clocked the addresses, most of the buildings’ aluminum numbers tarnished or fallen off completely.  He was uncertain of the directions given to him until he noticed a procession of people walking in unison, murmuring amongst each other. Latching onto them, he made it to The Empire, a narrow building with a towering spire piercing the swiftly migrating clouds overhead. The marquee read: Princess Annie & Canceled Alcohol. 7 PM. Sold Out.    A few groggy, disgruntled men wearing shirts bearing the venue’s name set up barriers, prompting Anton to look at his watch; noticing it was a quarter to doors, he grabbed the ticket and felt his heart flutter. His stomach began to churn, his mouth drying, gluing his tongue to the roof. An older, obese man began tearing tickets and allowing people inside, nodding happily at each person. Anton was swiftly approaching the front of the line, and he excitedly handed his ticket and made a beeline for the door before the formidable man’s hand blocked him.  “Hold up,” he said, screwing his face. Anton felt innately that there had been a mistake, that he needed identification or a parental guardian, neither of which he had. “I gotta search you, first.” After a brief pat down, he was ushered inside. The walls were lousy with graffiti, faded stickers, and flyers from past shows. Stale cigarette smoke stuck to the walls as a reminder of past shows, the granite floor was sticky with the residue of spilled lagers. The air was thick and muggy, he struggled to catch a breath, which was exacerbated by the space becoming occupied to the point of congestion. Anton centered himself by navigating a way to the back, where there were life-size banners of Canceled Alcohol’s most recent album, Gag And Bind—a ghastly image of a dominatrix caving a hole into an old man’s head, bloody gray matter spilling onto the white backdrop, his eyes replaced with shimmering gold coins, his tongue hanging slack from his gaping mouth, spittle pouring out. As he looked at the sensational image, he felt immense feelings of guilt and desire, which he couldn’t reconcile. To his left, he saw two slovenly dressed young lovers under the spell of some dangerous pill they couldn’t pronounce, idly peeling paint from the wall, near catatonic.      A tap at his bicep sent him shuddering, spinning around rapidly which elicited a laugh from the two young women who’d tapped him. Dressed in mainly all black, with the exception of some red stripes on their track pants and the white pentagrams on their shirts, one had aqua blue hair which reached just above her hair, the other had bleach blonde hair, the left side of her head shaved entirely. They both donned piercings across their face, the woman with the aqua blue wearing a nose piercing with a chain that reached to her ear. “Hi! Can you take our photos?” He obliged and took a few pictures of them: them holding their hands above their heads, them hugging, them kissing each other, them confrontationally staring into the camera with stoic fierceness. Handing it back, he smiled. “Thanks so much!”      “Was that like, a photo set?”     “We just wanted some photos of like, gay love. We’re a gay couple . . .”   “Right.”    “And we just felt like this was our non-violent protest. This was us, showing we can be gay and feminine and super sweet and hardcore and we can also enjoy the music.  It’s not binary and we felt like it would be cool to show it.”    “It’s for a project she’s making,” her partner explained. “She’s trying to normalize gay love by documenting it in unconventional places. This is her part where she puts us in the middle of it.”    “I always show up in my art,” she said, defensive.  “It’s my art and, intentional or not, I’m gonna be in it in some way or another, I can’t emancipate my expressions from myself, so I might as well implement myself.”    “That’s fucking rad.”    “Are you here for Princess Annie?”    “Uh, no. Just . . .  just Canceled Alcohol.”    “They’re okay, we’re here for Annie, cause you know, they’re a really great part of the gay community in Seattle, so it’s kinda rad that they’re here.”    The lights dimmed and the background music stopped. Everyone did an About Face and directed their gaze to the stage, which was massively unimpressive, being composed primarily of driftwood, electrical tape, and worker’s spit. Feet began to stamp on the ground, and aimless cheering and applause erupted. Princess Annie took the stage and the lead singer demurely waved to everyone as her bandmates readied themselves and took their positions. “Hi,” Annie Sutton, the lead singer, greeted everyone. “We are Princess Annie. And uh, we’re very happy to be here, thanks very much for having us. Um. Do you guys mind if we fuck shit up?” Her facetious request was met with thunderous approval, a mischievous grin unfurling on her face. The bass and drums began rolling out, cymbals being hit with great ferocity and Annie began to roar the lyrics to their song, The Stranger. The words were fully realized as she threw her body into the anguish of the song, her torso contorting, her arms wrathfully throttling the microphone. The orchestral hook allowed for some time to beat the device into her head, a bloody gash opening as she shouted:  

                        If I catch you!                         If I ever fucking catch you!                         Death will be too good!                         But I’ll never be good!                         No, I’ll never be good!                         I’ll never be good again!                         I’ll never be fine again!                             Never go to bed again!                         Never again, not never again,                         Never again, not never again                         Not never-FUUUUUUUUCK     Annie motioned for the crowd to make way for her to descend downwards and she gracefully stepped down. Anton was taken aback at how readily the crowd parted as though it were the red sea. Annie sewed sutures on the wounds she opened every night she sang the song which she knew would keep her honest. They washed her bloody face with love and adulation, crying with empathy, holding her to keep the panic away.  She concluded the song by saying, off mic, “Thank You. Thank You So Much. I Love You So Much.”   Making her way back to the stage, she sat hunched over at the edge, breathing heavily into the microphone. “Hey, our set is gonna be like me, it’s a little short. We only have about five songs left. Then you guys get to see Canceled Alcohol!” She held for applause, which filled the room.  “You guys are gonna love ‘em. We’re so so so so so honored that they brought us out on tour with them, they’re so fucking cool. Really. They’re real roughnecks on stage but total sweethearts in person. They’ve even invited us to join their knitting circle.” Jessica, the drummer, etched a hammy smile on her face and played a rim shot. “This is our 49th state. First time in Florida!”    “I’m sorry!” one person yelled out, which received some chuckles from the audience and an admonishing finger wag from Annie.    “Hey now! We like it here. We like what we’ve seen. Well, we’ve only seen the inside of this venue. But, hey. It’s a nice venue. This uh . . .  this next song is called Stupid Bitch. It’s about white guys. And please, all white guys. Don’t get upset when we play this, it’s never a good look.”      Anton felt at home with the warmth of her generous stage banter. Everyone was experiencing exactly what he was, there was a truth to this moment in time and it was a sweaty, blood drenched woman believing in herself and engaging with four hundred disparate people. He knew he would never be alone if he remained in the comfort of human body odor and weed smoke. They soon left the stage which was to be empty for another forty minutes.  Then, the lights dimmed once again and the crowd showed their love by bleeding their throats dry. The band swaggered on stage, and simultaneously Anton was delighted to be in proximity to such greatness and crestfallen to discover that they were a little short and appeared to be unassuming men, ready to do their job. However, once the front man, Sean, looked out to everyone, his eyes were searing and demented, striking fear. He took the pulpit and delivered his sermon:

                                                Kill God if you feel like it,                         Kill me if you feel like it,                         Just make sure you know why,                         I’ll never be anything other than that which I am,                         I’ll only be a part of the plan,                         My body is a prison,                         Break me out of this prison,                         Take me out of this prison,     The fury of the crowd reached a fever pitched, everyone being pushed to the front and shoving elbows into each other. Everyone edged everyone else out and a swirling vortex of pain erupted, young men in cargo shorts performing spinning kicks, their chests slamming into one another. Anton was reminded what it was like to feel vitality coursing through his veins as he was pushed into a snake pit of antagonism. He recalled placating his mother, contending with supercilious teachers, recoiling from his brother’s wrath, and how tired of it all he was. Something atavistic responded to the busted, bloody lip he suffered. He found his voice in pushing back and visiting violence onto others and receiving it, becoming baptized by pain. He screamed until his lungs felt on the verge of collapse. He knocked his head into someone else’s and gripped the back of their neck, being met in kind with an identical grip.    “I love you!” he yelled, locking horns, knocking into him, shoulder first.    “I love you too!”     The ritual eventually petered out and the show concluded as plainly as it began, the band members departing with a cold casualness. Anton felt beautiful as he walked home drowning in a pool of collected sweat, the wind whipping against him as he shivered waiting on the bus.     Creeping into his room, Anton confronted the new, primal version of himself and noticed a congealed patch of blood on his face. Removing his shirt, he was thrilled to observe the black and blue tattoos he received. The bumps, bruises, and scars served as a reminder of the fight he had to keep in his heart to refrain from timorously occupying the fringes of life. Galvanized to report on the part of the world he just saw, he swiftly grabbed the composition notebook and a pen from the computer desk, his foot anxiously tapping a hole in the ground as his hands, tremulous from adrenaline, wrote:

                          Tonight, I found God in the grooves of a combat boot.

[crowsent]

yall are fucking heroes

i published Viper chapter 6 in the dead of morning 7/17/19

there are like 27 fucking comments on Viper chapter 6 7/18/19

holy shit i feel like ive been given eternal life. i cried yall. i know none of you beautiful ao3 people follow me on this shithole schrodingers inactive shitpost blog but damn. yall made me cry. i love all of you. all of you are important and it makes me so happy to have such support. im posting this here bc if i tried to say how much all of your bookmarks, comments, and kudoses meant to me in the notes of a chapter id p much just be talking for 3k words. seriously.

i started Viper as my project. something for me. a what if scenario for myself to test out the Dad!Stain idea that ive had for a while. then you all came in droves and it became more than just a small project for me anymore. the reception I got was overwhelming. i love the energy you all brought to the comments. i love the notes and tags you all put in the bookmarks (cuz i read that and it makes me smile). i love the enthusiasm yall have when reading and it makes me. so. damn. happy!!!

shoutout to YEN on anon for being the first to ever comment on Viper chapter 1 shoutout to Moyya for giving me another fic to read shoutout to Freetoffee for giving me more ideas to develop Inko’s character more shoutout to Rabitek for being the first ever to bookmark Viper shoutout to Princess_Crystal for nearly making me choke on my biscuit. “Giran you trick ass bitch” will always be something that makes me smile shoutout to Prussianrobust for succeeding in making me choke on food. I almost died but “Fuckhands McMike” was worth it. hope you don’t mind me usin that

shoutout to Kisana for bringing consistent commentary that helps me in my writing

shoutout to eldritchcore for giving me the idea that Izuku should have a snake. spoilers. i am absolutely giving him a snake

again. shoutout to Princess_Crystal because you are just a treasure. you always give me such nice comments and I die every time.

shoutout to KitsunKi for the constructive criticism. hope i improved since last time!! <3

shoutout to InfernoNightmare for sharing my taste in music

shoutout to ObsessiveOddball for giving me soooo many good ideas. you my good sir, are a treasure for expanding my writing and yes. absolutely. i am starting shit in the USJ as soon as my slow ass can actually get there

shoutout to Sesshykiss13 for absolutely nailing Stain on the head. yes. that’s how he is. that’s how i write him. and that’s how he’ll always be even though I plan to start shit up between Stain and Izuku in the future. but don’t worry. you can check tags but I swear on my love of Starbucks’ venti java chip frappuccino with extra chips on top that Izuku will not die. Stain will not die. I am hella skilled at writing tragedies but Viper will not be a tragedy. I will give a happy end to snekboi and wolfdad i swear (to illustrate my love for Starbucks venti java chip frappuccino with extra chips on top, you could hang me on the gallows, offer me a knife or that frappuccino, i will drink that frapp and look you in the eyes as i choke to death) also. dude. Sesshykiss13 do you have access to my notes or something? bc you just predicted Izu’s hero outfit. visor and hood. like. damn. smi77y levels of prediction right there bruh. actually. every damn thing you said was spot fucking on. that shit is in my notebook. that shit is planned for future chapters. are you the oracle of delphi because holy shit you basically laid out the cores of my plot.

shoutout to TheMadRabbitsGrin for giving me new Deku ideas. Congrats!!!! He will now have a buzzcut!

shoutout to FoxInBox_aka_FIB for saying all those things. as someone who does aspire to become a writer, you have no idea how much those words mean to me. it’s such an encouragement

shoutout to everyone who commented.

shoutout to everyone who bookmarked.

shoutout to everyone who gave kudos.

shoutout to everyone who took the time to read and support Viper.

again, i know that p much no one who reads Viper follows me, so i can say this without feeling like a cliche.

thank you. so much. i say that before and after every chapter, but i mean every word every time. all of your comments and encouragements and reactions mean so much to me. i never thought Viper would be for anyone but myself. it was always just me exploring ideas, trying new things, putting my mind at work and the response is overwhelming. the one-shots were never planned. half the shit i now have in my notebook was never planned.

all of your support inspired me. i would never have been able to write in one universe so consistently without your feedback and encouragement. before, i had to go on the ao3 website and check the things i publish to reference Viper. now i just have to google "viper ao3″ and it pops up. on. the. front. page.

none of this would have been possible without you and i am just so so grateful that you took time out of your day to support me. i hope that you all enjoyed the ride so far, and i hope that you’ll stay with me until the end of the line. i’ll do my best to update more consistently and frequently.

again, i keep saying this every chapter, but thank you.

yall are the real heroes here