#bsd educational sounds

[call-me-albie]

I cant be the only one who thinks the bsd educational sounds sound like theyre being stabbed…right?

[nessgasm]

Help I also have this

[kolyasupremanxy]

For the sake of everything don't click this

[irritablepoe]

Why do I get so many heart-shattering edits on my fyp that let me rethink everything I've ever felt and right after that the newest "educational sounds" of the bsd fandom?

[shrouded-memorials]

🍄 😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤💢💢💢💢💢💢🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🕸🕸🕸🕸🕸🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑

[akutasoda]

AHHHH HIIII I SAW ASKS WERE OPENNN

I can’t get this out my head because my friend said she’s learning welsh and I love the language sounding 😍😍😍

but what about bsd boys meeting a welsh native speaker? And like when the reader gets pissed she just starts cursing?

-🌀Anon!!

lovers abroad

synopsis - when they meet a welsh native speaker

includes - atsushi, dazai, chuuya, verlaine

warnings - gn!reader, readder is welsh fluff, slight crack, wc - 541

a/n: Hiii! hope you're doing well anon!

atsushi nakajima ★↷

↪when atsushi first met you he couldn't immediately guess where you were from. due to you staying in japan, you did speak japanese but you had a very thick accent still.

↪you probably would have to tell him you were welsh and when you did it peaked his interest. due to his rather rough upbringing he'd never had the chance to learn or even hear another language.

↪this meant he was rather intrigued to hear you speak your native tongue. maybe welsh shouldn't of been the first he heard but he thought it was beautiful.

↪he probably wouldn't be up to learning it but he did actually still enjoy listening to you speak it. that was until you got angry.

↪maybe you got a bit more carried away and would proceed to say some things you would later inform atsushi were infact swears.

osamu dazai ★↷

↪dazai could immediately tell from your accent when speaking you were from somewhere like wales. it was quite the unique language and he could make a very good educated guess.

↪when he heard you actually speak welsh he did have to agree it was a rather beautiful language to hear.

↪he probably could speak more than one language but none of them would be welsh. however he would be more open to learning the language if he actually decided to take the time to.

↪what really made him want to learn it was when you got angry and starrted yelling in your native language. he wanted to know what you were saying but you gladly told him you were just swearing.

chuuya nakahara ★↷

↪it took him a couple of seconds for him to clock onto your accent. he couldn't really tell where you were from and so you probably did have to tell him.

↪and when you did, or he found out himself he would ask you to speak some for him. he was genuinely intrigued, he always like the idea of knowing multiple languages but he only speaks his native.

↪he would admit it was a rather lovely language to listen to but maybe it wouldn't be a language he'd choose to learn himself. but that caused him to wonder what you actually said sometimes.

↪for example, when you got angry you'd revert back to welsh and start angrily saying stuff he couldn't understand. he'd often ask you and most times you'd just smile and shrug but eventually you told him you were just swearing.

↪he actually found it rather amusing when he caught you swearing in welsh about someone who annoyed you that day.

paul verlaine ★↷

↪when verlaine first found himself in yokohama, many people would note his french accent. so he naturally picked up on your accent when he first met you and could immediately narrow it down to europe atleast.

↪you still would have to tell him wales exactly. he wouldn't exactly care all that much but if he got bored or curious enough he would ask you to teach him a few things in welsh.

↪mainly after he'd caught you mumbling to yourself in welsh and later on yelling. he wanted to know what you said but from context he had a pretty good idea.

[thevexinator]

Since Asagiri won't give you Guild content, I will. Headcanons, but they're based on irl facts I found within 5 minutes of googling. [These are just my hcs you can add your own if you wanna]

Louisa May Alcott 💌

- Louisa and Nathaniel are family friends. Irl, Louisa's father was one of Hawthorne's pallbearers [pallbearer - someone helping to escort of carry a coffin]. In the setting of BSD, their families were in close relations due to operating at the same church. Even though Louisa doesn't remember, Nathaniel often looked after her since the older girls [Louisa's older sister Anna and Nathaniel's older sister Elizabeth] were often helping around with the adults.

- She really likes pulp fiction.

- She's knowledgeable about the medical field. The real Louisa was a nurse during World War 1.

- Speaking of war, Louisa is a major history nerd.

Margaret Mitchell ☂️

- While BSD Margaret dresses like what if Mary Poppins was a British aristocrat, the real Margaret Mitchell actually preferred dressing in men's clothes. Thus, whenever she's not on duty in the Guild, she's chilling in something she stole from Nathaniel.

- She's afraid of fire. Why? When Margaret was a child, her clothing ended up catching fire on accident. She's never been the same since.

- She also has driving anxiety. When she was 12, her dad hit a deer on the road. She's never been the same since.

Nathaniel Hawthorne ⚔️

- Generally avoids discourse about the Salem Witch Trials. An ancestor of his played a big part during it, two others were married to women who were accused of being witches. Thus, he added the 'w' to his last name.

- He's surprisingly good with glasswork. When the real Nathaniel and his wife moved into their home, the etched poems into the glass of the windows.

- For a large part of his life, he lived in a commune.

- Occasionally, he sees ghosts. The real Nathaniel once said he saw the ghost of his friend reading his own obituary.

Edgar Allan Poe 🦝

- He's an orphan. He doesn't tell people that.

- He likes being alone. Until he gets the feeling that someone is somewhere in the room with him.

- Insanely intelligent. He knows exactly what he's doing.

- Very weak constitution. One time, when the Guild were all drinking and whatever else they were doing, Poe blacked out after one drink of wine. Everyone genuinely thought someone tried to kill him until they found out he couldn't handle alcohol.

- Unphased. He's seen it all. Death? Child's play. Heartbeat under the floorboards? Normal Tuesday. Corpse falling off the roof? Crazy. Someone walking into the party dressed in red? Standard party etiquette.

Lucy Maud Montgomery 🪆

- Also an orphan. Doesn't tell people about it.

- Very charming. She can flirt. She just chooses not to. She knows she's too powerful.

- Cripplingly depressed. Self-explanatory.

- Has girl nights with Louisa and Margaret, basically a few hours of them doing girl activities. They tried to summon Bloody Mary at least seven times to no returns.

H. P. Lovecraft 🦑

- Lovecraft has monochromacy, a condition where someone can only see in grayscale. This is derived from irl Lovecraft's "The Color Out of Space," essentially Lovecraft's low education being the reason why he didn't know about the electromagnetic color spectrum.

- He's afraid of crowds. He hates it here so much.

- Has epilepsy. The only thing that can stop this eldrich monstrosity in a human trench coat is the average disco party.

- Loves cats. He is so normal about them. Cats run to him like crazy.

- He glows in the dark. Why shouldn't he? He's earned it. He's also deficient in vitamins science hasn't discovered yet. His ankles popping sound like rogue gunshots.

- AroAce. Intimacy is a concept he doesn't understand and doesn't want to.

John Steinbeck 🌳

- He's very much a dog person. His family keeps dogs. His favorite breed is the Australian Sheep dog.

- He was very sick as a child.

- Really into marine biology. [Steincraft fans stay winning.]

- Before the Guild, he worked as a construction worker, newspaper reporter,and caretaker.

- Ironically enough, he has a pollen allergy. It's not severe, just watering eyes and sniffles. He hates it.

Mark Twain 🔫

- So normal about the ocean. He takes Lovecraft and John with him when he goes boating.

- Into geology. He's the guy who collects rocks whenever he's outside.

- Guild game night isn't game night is Mark isn't beating everyone in every board game to ever exist.

- So normal about cats. The real Mark Twain has 19 cats, all with titles like Apollinaris, Beelzebub, Blatherskite, Buffalo Bill, Satan, Sin, Sour Mash, Tammany, Zoroaster, Soapy Sal and Pestilence to name a few. BSD Mark has one ginger cat he adopted off the streets of Yokohama he names Sal, occasionally calling her Sin whenever she's around Nathaniel.

- He almost drowned twice. One would think that would kill his passion for boating, but he baller'd his way out of it.

Francis S. K. Fitzgerald 🪙

- Dyslexic and in denial. Louisa tried to gently bring it up to him that half of his work email was spelled incorrectly, but he was in denial and chalked it up to it being 3 in the morning when he wrote that work email.

- He worked as a screenwriter before the Guild. Coincidentally, he met his wife there!

- He strikes me as a guy who owns a copy of "A Pickle For the Knowing Ones". If you don't know what that is, please look it up. I promise it's worth it.

- Makes too many dad jokes. John and Nathaniel officially want him dead.

- He forgets to sleep. He just forgets. Even though he looks like he died and got resurrected without prior notice and everyone in the Guild is asking him if he had a breakdown, he forgets to sleep.

Hermine Melville 🐋

- At some point in his life, he lived in the Pacific Islands.

- Hiking enthusiast. He likes the mountain terrain a lot.

- His office smells like smoke. No one knows why. It just does.

- Not much about him to be honest. I wish there was more screentime for him. <//3

[kaeyx]

Good evening, I’ve come to rate the bsd men’s asses in terms of looks and fuckability :)

Starting off with Chuuya: he’s very toned overall and in good shape, so his ass is pretty firm and well-shaped. Not huge, but he’s also a tiny man, but he’s just so sexy and hot. Definitely hairless, I just can’t imagine Chuuya with body hair (except pubes), pale and very smooth skin. Probably a little uneasy with anal stuff at first, but if you insist, he’ll budge eventually. Be gentle, because he’s never put anything in before. Now, he’s refuse to do it missionary stuff first, it’s too embarrassing to make eye contact while having someone drill their cock into your asshole for the first time, so he prefers it doggystyle or prone bone. He’s a little tight, but with the right amount of lube and preparation, your cock will fit in nicely. He makes the prettiest sounds, a few gasps and „oh fuck!“s at first, but then he’ll moan like a little slut, grip the sheets and drool, eyes rolled back, blabbering incoherent things (see: his educational sounds for reference).

Next is Nikolai, his ass is an 11/10. It’s fat, it’s jiggly, it’s plump and round and it’s so nice to grab, to smack, to grope, etc. especially because he will not only let you, but encourage you to do it. He’s an ass man, he loves other people’s asses, but he also loves his own being toyed with. Yes, probably hairy, but I’m convinced he shaves it. Very fuckable too, because he will get on his hands and knees in a heartbeat if you want to fuck him, and also arches his back prettily. Doesn’t take long for him to adjust to your size, your dick will slip in easily with or without lube. Why? Because Nikolai fucks his own asshole day and night, using either his own cock (with his ability), large dildos or he’ll have a plug in for hours. I recommend you spread his jiggly cheeks nicely so you can watch your cock slide in and out of him, or you make him spread them. Occasionally pull out so it makes a „pop“ sound, spit in his hole, and definitely cum inside, he loves that.

Fyodor’s little twink ass is pale as fuck, and due to sitting day and night, a bit flat :/ but it’s still cute, I believe, and what makes anal sex with Fyodor so fun is that he hates it, but is secretly still curious to try. Will complain nonstop, that ruins the mood a bit, and he is also so fucking tight it’s hard to push your cockhead past the awfully tight ring of muscle in the beginning. Give him a rimjob and finger him thoroughly, use plugs and promise him a reward if he cooperates, and maybe, he’ll stop clenching his hole and finally let you fuck him. His moans are even more pathetic and whiny than Chuuya‘s, he whimpers and cries like a spoiled little girl and often tries to scurry away. Just grab his slutty little waist and fuck his brains out harder. Cum inside out of spite and watch the little bitch try and push it all out. Fyodor’s ass is fun to fuck, but only if you bring lots of patience and physical strength into the bedroom. He gets some bonus points for the belly bulge, though. No matter the size of your cock, his stomach will bulge.

Ranpo has an adorable, cute little ass with a neatly shaved, pink hole, ready to be fucked at all times. Will annoy the shit out of you just so you punish him by shoving either a monster dildo inside his ass or roughly rail him from behind. Do some ass-to-mouth with him to make the punishment even more humiliating him. If he’s not crying, you didn’t do enough.

OUFJFGJ YOU'RE SO RIGHTTTTT I HAVE NOTHING TO ADD THIS IS PERFECT

[rashoumon-homo]

My dad watches BSD - guild arc update

We are watching episode 21 right now (where Chuuya and Dazai fight Lovecraft) and I’m trying to explain Soukoku to him. It’s… a process.

Sometime during the last episode he remarked that the characters make a lot of gasp/grunt sounds all the time and he was wondering if anyone ever made a supercut of those sounds. I think he was thinking along the lines of like those YouTube videos of just the breathing from Michael Jackson songs, but I was like, “yeah, they’ve done that but for… other purposes.” I do NOT wanna explain BSD educational sounds to my DAD, thanks. Fingers crossed he doesn’t get curious and look it up.

The next episode (which we’re gonna watch tomorrow) is the one where Poe is introduced I think. I predict he’s gonna like Poe and that he’s gonna be on board with shipping Ranpoe. So far he hasn’t been as big of a fan of Soukoku or Shin Soukoku but only because he doesn’t understand the inherent romantic/sexual tension of the enemies to lovers trope. I think he’ll be able to vibe with Ranpoe though. He’s already said Ranpo is one of his favorite characters, alongside Kenji.

We shall see!

[anti-dazai-blog]

Hi, recently discovered your blog, love it <3

I started reading the manga around the Kamui Reveal, and back then already worried about the entire arc. Personally, the Dazai-vs-Fyodor-Setup felt undirected and predictable (back then and yet again at its end).

To me, it’s been already pointed out how Asagiri might have a hard time deleting the original cast from the story, which I don’t fault him for. (He likes creating and writing characters and you can tell, I actually love it.) My problem would just be that he needs to change stakes to the plot, it’s getting in the way of immersive storytelling (because he seldomly pulls through with the stakes long-term regarding the original character cast.)

You can actually write a story with good stakes that are consequential to actions without killing characters off; if you do it well, not having death threats hanging over every characters heads won’t take away from the story. (However, with a setting and worldbuilding like bsd it’s a little unrealistic to not have death as side effect/consequence or characters die.)

Back to the arc that’s been going on for years, it feels weird (unplanned), because that’s opposite to how the previous arcs (and especially the light novels) felt and it’s one of the longest arcs; I would have assumed Asagiri had something in mind for a proper (plot)conclusion (it’s a personal opinion that this arc is not properly concluded (currently)).

When we had chuuya drowns and dazai gets shot scenes, I wasn’t for one second thinking they actually died, I was thinking, how is Asagiri gonna write himself out of these scenes (because to me it felt like he didn’t have a solution, reviving the characters, prior to their death scenes), which is a pretty non immersive experience as a reader.

And it’s really weird to me, because I can’t think of a good reason of how all this happened.

Asagiri is not a bad writer, that’s established and the (i think) last „side“ project Stormbringer was exceptional (personal opinion (and I was still baffled(slight negative connotation) at Verlaine being kept alive (who knows wether he will play a role in the future)), it’s really weird thinking about Stormbringer and this arc being written out at a similar time. (I personally have a theory as to why the light novels are so good: He likes writing snd creating characters, but having them interact in this huge cast and series is understandably difficult, whereas the light novels can be seen as a backstory/part of a character, something he is incredibly good at constructing.(He also doesn’t really struggle killing off people here, because the consequences don’t affect the main story.))

He doesn’t „pander“ to people either I think, or at least it wouldn’t make sense. Bsd might possibly have attracted a shounen audience, but it got popular because of seinen themes and characters (which affects the plot) in the first place, so changing things towards to a shounen lane would be dumb, and also not something like Asagiri would do.

I’ve also skimmed across my rant here and I sound like I hate the arc or his writing, but I actually don’t haha, I actually liked a lot of this arc, themes and characters and still have faith in him as an author and this series, it’s just these particular things that kinda hugely scratch my opinion on this arc and how what’s currently happening feels like a non-answer to everything that came before it.

I’m interested in hearing your opinion on this, if you want to take the time for this huge complaint rant (I’m not mad if you don’t haha), in which ways you agree/disagree/could possibly educate me further.

You blog overall is really cool, love your analyses; lots of love <33

Thank you for the ask, I’m so glad you’re enjoying this blog!!!

You’ve summed up the current arc’s issues perfectly— it seems to be out of place when compared to everything else Asagiri wrote in both the previous arcs and the light novels. It came across as aimless— as if Asagiri himself wasn’t sure where he was going with it and was as taking it chapter by chapter.

That being said, I do believe that it might just be a matter of personal taste—maybe Asagiri’s tastes in storytelling has changed over the years, and the current arc is the type of stuff he’d be more interested to write about going forward. I’d be a bit disappointed if that’s the case (and as far as I could tell, I won’t be the only one), but he might form a new fanbase that this current type of story is more catered to.

Either way, I still have hope that future bsd arcs might revert back to how bsd used to be four years ago.

[nakajimaas]

stupid things the bsd fandom has popularized for no good reason but shock value

1. stupid ass i love atsushi fanfic

2. idiot ranpoe donuts fanfic

3. educational sounds ffuck off

add more if u want but these three fill me with an indescribable rage. i want to kill everyonr

[silvfyre-writings]

You get a nap, and you get a nap (BSD Fanfic)

Crossposted from AO3

Kunikida isn’t sure what to make of the newest addition to the Agency rota, not that he was ever given an opportunity to say anything negative about it to begin with. Not that he would’ve dared in the first place considering it’s Ranpo that’s involved in the situation. Well, more like it’s Ranpo that’s orchestrated this whole thing to favour himself like he always does, without caring what others might think of it in the first place.

Still, the young girl that he saved down in the train tunnels all those weeks ago insists that there is nothing malicious about her new vampire bodyguard, and well, Aya has quickly made a reputation for being stubborn and refusing to take no for an answer—like a certain older detective if he’s making comparisons—so he lets the fact that Bram Stoker, former enemy now turned tentative ally, is making the Agency his new home, slide.

Now, Kunikida knows for a fact that Bram has a dorm that he can stay at, because one of the first things that Ranpo announced after the very near end of the world was that Bram and Aya would be staying under the Agency’s guidance, and he wouldn’t hear anything against it. Not that anyone would ever dare to try and tell Ranpo no, not without unknown consequences befalling them.

Unknown, because no one’s ever dared to try in the first place.

What Kunikida doesn’t understand, however, is why Bram comes to the Agency to sleep instead of staying at the dorm. Even Aya, who has school and her own life, only ever stops by every few days or so—which Kunikida doesn’t mind in the slightest, because she’s a bright young girl who’s willing to learn, and he is nothing if not an educator. But Bram? The vampire will arrive in the morning with Ranpo, head straight to the couch and just take a nap with headphones on.

It’s starting to drive him insane, because surely, surely, there is something that Bram could be doing? Kunikida understands the need to rest, he does, and from what he’s heard about Bram’s life so far, it sounds like he’s in sore need of it. The main issue that he has with this is that Bram’s frequent sleeps—not naps, for the man sleeps the entire time they’re all working—means that one of the couches is always occupied, which isn’t ideal for the clients that seek them out for a job.

As if Bram’s mere presence doesn’t already unnerve clients.

“Kunikida-kun! If you keep frowning like that, you’ll scare all the beautiful women!” Dazai chirps, throwing his body into Kunikida’s personal space like he isn’t the next biggest nuisance.

“Dazai, I am warning you now, to get off my desk.” Kunikida says, eye twitching.

“Hmmm, warning considered.”

Kunikida takes a breath, patience waning, not just because Dazai has chosen now to be a pest, but because he hasn’t been able to do any work for the past several minutes, and he’s starting to fall behind in his schedule which is completely unacceptable. “Dazai—”

“What is it that’s caught your eye, Kunikida-kun…” Dazai doesn’t listen at all as he turns his head to see just what exactly it is that his work partner is staring at. “Oh, I see, has our resident vampire caught your attention?”

He feels his face burn in embarrassment. “That is not at all true!”

“There, there, Kunikida-kun, it’s nothing to be ashamed about, Bram-san is a very attractive person—”

“I am not attracted to—”

“Unfortunately, he’s taken already, but if you need a drinking buddy to drown your heartbreak with, I’m more than happy to join!”

Wait—what? “What?” Kunikida says before he even fully understands just what it is that Dazai’s told him, and when it does finally click, he swivels his head to stare at the other. “What do you mean, taken?”

Dazai blinks, perplexed at the question. “What are you confused about, Kunikida-kun? More importantly, what rock have you been living under? Bram-san’s been taken by Ranpo-san.”

Kunikida feels the oncoming migraine and rubs at his forehead. The vampire and his senior? Surely not.

But sure enough, it becomes obvious that something is going on when Ranpo gets up from his desk and makes his way over to the couch that Bram occupies with a yawn. His senior reaches up to pull his hat and tie off in one motion, discarding them on the floor like this is apartment instead of his workplace, and then Kunikida watches with wide eyes, as Ranpo crawls onto the couch that Bram is sleeping on, dragging the hood of his cape over his face as he curls up in Bram’s lap.

Kunikida doesn’t think it can get anymore damning when it does; Bram’s crimson eyes flicking open just long enough for him to notice the extra presence on the couch in front of him. They slip shut a moment later, but then the vampire turns a little to the side, providing a barrier so that Ranpo won’t fall off the couch, and further wrapping his arms around Ranpo’s waist, holding him very much like a lover would.

“See.” Dazai says, a smirk on his face. “I told you they were a thing.”

If there’s one thing Yosano doesn’t like about her job, it’s when she gets forced to pay house calls to her colleagues. Because it means, that even with her ability, it’s still not enough for the persons body, and they need further rest to heal from whatever injury they’ve sustained. Last time, it was Kenji, after a truck crashed through the restaurant that the boy was eating at, in which only Kenji was injured because he shielded everybody else, and it’d taken a month before he’d been able to come back to the Agency.

Now, though?

Now she’s on her way to pay a visit to her oldest friend, the person who dragged her from the abyss of her own mind and gave a new meaning to the life that she’d long accepted was over. It’s not often that Ranpo gets injured, and most of the time, he’ll take care of it himself, but surviving a bombing wasn’t exactly the kind of injury that one could survive. What’s even worse was that Ranpo wasn’t even working a case when he got hurt; he’d been out on a date.

She’ll never forget the way her heart skipped a beat when Bram rushed into the infirmary that day, Ranpo bundled up in the vampire’s coat and barely clinging to life.

Yosano healed him with no hesitation—this was Ranpo for god’s sake, of course she would heal him—but it hadn’t been enough. Comatose for a week, and then bedridden for another before she finally felt comfortable letting him go home, under the promise that he would have someone with him to keep watch just in case something went wrong. And of course, Bram had volunteered immediately, which Yosano finds extremely adorable. The way that he and Ranpo have formed their relationship has been well worth it; Ranpo is happier than he has ever been, and Bram is having an easier time fitting in with the Agency, even though he’s not working for them.

It's good, it means that the world is healing slowly, and after everything they all just went through, it’s very much needed.

It doesn’t take long for Yosano to make her way to Ranpo’s apartment—thank god Fukuzawa made sure that the dorms were close to the Agency when he purchased them—and she climbs the stairs, heading straight towards the dorm at the very end of the complex. Yosano’s not exactly sure why Ranpo wanted this particular apartment, but she doesn’t question the decision when it means she doesn’t have to think about which dorm is her friends and which is someone else’s.

Something that has very much happened over the years.

Once she’s in front of the door, she knocks on the door, deciding just this once to not simply barge in like she usually would. But just this once.

And now, the wait.

It takes a few minutes and another series of knocks before Yosano finally hears shuffling behind the door, and a second later, it cracks open, a crimson eye peering through the gap down at her. As always, it’s immediately unnerving to be under the gaze, not only because Bram is very good at intimidating everyone around him, but he has the height to make it even worse. Lucky for her though, that she’s long become immune to that; being under Fukuzawa’s care will do that to someone.

“May I come in, Bram? I’m here to check on Ranpo.” Yosano asks, a polite smile on her face. As enamoured as Ranpo is with the vampire, she still hasn’t forgotten that he was part of the reason why their lives were hell for so long. But she tries. Because Ranpo asked it of her.

“Yosano-sensei…” Bram’s voice echoes, deep and very much soothing. The vampire steps back and opens the door you to enter. “You are always welcome. Ranpo is asleep right now.”

Now that Bram mentions it, Yosano can see the tell-tale signs of her interrupting a nap, eyes that are struggling to stay open, and a sluggish pace as he follows behind her. Clearly, he’s on autopilot, and she’s proven correct when they step into the living space and Bram heads straight back to the couch where Ranpo lay; still asleep.

Yosano’s mouth twitches in amusement as she watches the delicate way in which Bram squeezes back underneath Ranpo, shifting so little until he’s comfortable that it doesn’t look like he’s moved at all. It’s honestly quite impressive.

“I might end up waking him, is that going to cause a problem?” Yosano asks before Bram can simply dive back into dreamland.

Bram blinks slowly, brow furrowing just slightly before he shakes his head. “Do what you must, but try not to wake him. He was a little feverish this morning so he is tired.”

Alarm bells ring in Yosano’s mind. “Feverish? Have you given him anything for it?”

“I called Fukuzawa-san to ask him what to do.” Bram says, raising an arm and gesturing to the kitchen table where a bunch of medications rest, most of which Yosano prescribed, but there’s a singular box sitting there that she knows didn’t come from her. “He suggested fever-reducers if it was not a bad fever, which it was not—” A yawn interrupts Bram’s words. “—he has had one dose, and the fever has not returned since.”

Yosano lets out a hum. A small fever is common with healing injuries, but it’s not usual this late into the game, so she’s a little concerned. There’s a number of reasons why Ranpo could’ve had a fever that morning, from it being stress, to an illness, and ideally, she’d like to avoid either option.

“Alright.” She says, dragging the coffee table closer to the couch so that she can sit on it. “I’ll be as quick as I can, so you can go back to sleep, Bram.”

Bram hums, but doesn’t say anything more as he closes his eyes, head dipping slightly as he falls back to sleep almost immediately.

A skill that the entire Agency would die to have honestly, she’s jealous.

But now that Bram’s asleep, it means she can give Ranpo a checkup without having a tall, menacing, vampire looming over her shoulder.

Like he had when the accident happened.

Ranpo’s arms are still wrapped in bandages, the burns underneath them healing steadily. She’s gentle as she takes each arm, unwraps the bandages and gives the injury a gentle wash before wrapping them up again. Miraculously, Ranpo sleeps through the whole thing, but those are the easy injuries. It’s the ones she can’t see that were the deadliest, because even with her healing ability, they were still only partially healed.

Yosano reaches up to unbutton Ranpo’s shirt, freezing when he sucks in a breath. Stay asleep, stay asleep, stay—

“…sano?” Ranpo blinks tiredly as he’s dragged back into the waking world.

—asleep. Damn it.

“Just checking you over, idiot.” Yosano says, continuing her previous action at a faster pace since there’s no longer a reason for her to be quiet. “How’re you feeling?”

Ranpo grunts. “Tired. The usual.”

The usual being: a little bit of pain mixed with a feeling of heaviness.

“Well, your arms are doing good, and it looks like your chest is as well. How’s your head?”

“Fine. Can I go back to sleep?”

“Once I’m done. I won’t be long.” Yosano speeds up her process, deeming the injuries on Ranpo’s chest to be fine and not in need of any extra attention, and rebuttons his shirt so that he doesn’t have to. Next comes checking Ranpo’s vitals, which is an easy enough process to do, considering Ranpo doesn’t feel like moving in the slightest to try and resist her like he normally would.

Satisfied with the results, Yosano packs up her equipment and ruffles Ranpo’s hair gently. “Alright sleeping beauty, you’re doing good. Come by the office once you’re able, and I’ll check you again.”

“Yep, got it, bye-bye…” Ranpo shoos her with a single wave of his head, rolling onto his side where he somehow becomes lodged between Bram and the couch.

“Sleep well, sleeping beauty.” Yosano says as she leaves, but not before she gets to witness Ranpo snuggle into Bram’s side.

How adorable.

“Ranpo-san, what are you doing?” Atsushi asks, curious as to the scene he’s stumbled upon, because it’s certainly not like anything he’s witnessed before in the building—and he’s witnessed some strange stuff before. From the looks of it, Ranpo appears to be… braiding Bram’s hair, the vampire dead asleep with his head in Ranpo’s lap as his senior stretches out on the couch, fingers meticulously moving through the long silver locks, repeatedly threading them together like its mere muscle memory for him. It’s certainly a strange thing to see from Ranpo of all people.

The only reason Atsushi even stopped in the first place is because of the relaxed look on Ranpo’s face.

Oh, and the fact that he’s a little curious about the stranger that Ranpo’s talking to, an older man in a white dress shirt with what would be a youthful face if not for the stress and age lines marring his face.

Ranpo pauses in whatever it was that he was saying to the stranger to look up at Atsushi, frowning. “Talking with Yasui-san? Is there something wrong with that, Atsushi-kun?”

“No, no, no, not at all!” Atsushi says quickly, not wanting to upset Ranpo first thing in the morning, because then the rest of his shift will become a living hell. “But what I meant is, what are you doing to Bram?”

“I’m braiding his hair, what else do you think it is I’m doing?” Ranpo questions, and then continues before Atsushi can even respond. “Oh, you meant to ask why. Why not? Bram doesn’t mind, he likes having his hair played with.”

“O-Oh, I see. I didn’t know you knew how to braid hair.” It’s strange to think that I all the months that he’s been at the Agency, that he doesn’t actually know a lot about Ranpo, so to learn something new is just… well, it’s strange. Even more so that Ranpo is openly sharing information.

Kunikida once told him that trying to get Ranpo to talk about personal things was like pulling teeth; you either gave up or left it to Fukuzawa.

“Eh? Of course I know how to braid hair, the President taught me.”

He did? Well Atsushi certainly hadn’t expected that response. “That was… nice of him.”

“Well, I had to learn, because Yosano wanted her hair braided, but she couldn’t do it herself at the time, and Fukuzawa-san was the only other person available. I’m pretty sure he just watched a video to teach himself before he taught me, but it worked, so I don’t care. Why do you ask, Atsushi? Want me to braid your hair? I’ll do it, but—”

“Ranpo.” The stranger, which must be the Yasui that Ranpo mentioned, and Atsushi realises isn’t a stranger, but the police commissioner that Minoura told them about on his first case with Ranpo, interrupts his senior. Both Atsushi and Ranpo freeze, but for entirely different reasons. “Can you focus so I can leave, please?”

“Wow, bored of me already, Yasui-san? You’re breaking my heart.” Ranpo crows, dramatically falling back against the arm of the couch with an arm over his face.

“We already scheduled lunch for later. So unless you want to do this then, you’ll do it now.” Yasui says, completely unbothered by Ranpo’s antics.

Which is honestly impressive to Atsushi. Most people he knows will give in to Ranpo’s demands in an instant just to make life easier for themselves, yet here’s this man, the police commissioner of all people, making a demand of Ranpo like it’s something he’s always done. Admittedly, he’s a little curious.

“Can I help with anything?” Atsushi asks.

“Yes.” Ranpo says.

“No.” Yasui says in return before turning towards Atsushi with a gentle look on his face. “Appreciate the offer, kid, but this is paperwork that Ranpo needs to fill out. Involving his vampire boyfriend.”

Ranpo pouts. “Fukuzawa-san could’ve done it.”

“Fukuzawa-san told me to make sure you do it since it’s your boyfriend.”

“What, jealous now? You had your chance, Yasui-san, and you turned me down.”

“And I still stand by that decision. Besides, you’re happy with Stoker-san.”

Atsushi very much wants to escape this conversation right now, especially since Ranpo uses Yasui’s words as an opportunity to launch into a very… personal story about him and Bram. One that Atsushi doesn’t particularly care if he overhears, but he would prefer not to hear it at work. And from the look on Yasui’s face, he’s simply resigned himself to the fact that he’s going to be spending the entire day at the Agency regardless of whether he wanted to or not.

“I think I hear Kunikida-san, um, have fun with the paperwork, Ranpo-san. Bye.” Atsushi doesn’t even wait for a response as he flees back to his desk, sliding into his chair where both Dazai and Kunikida look at him sympathetically.

“You aren’t the first to hear such a conversation, Atsushi.” Kunikida says, pushing his glasses up with a finger.

“And believe us when we say that it’s been happening for years.” Dazai chimes in with a knowing grin on his face. “Ranpo-san is very promiscuous after all.”

“Dazai!”

“What? I’m not lying, Kunikida-kun. Want me to name everyone that Ranpo-san’s slept with since we worked here?”

Kunikida deflates with a sigh. “That won’t be necessary. I’ll talk to him again later when he’s finished with his current business about appropriate conversations for the workplace.”

Atsushi glances over in the direction of the senior detective and the police commissioner, observing the way that Ranpo is still chattering away with a content expression, hands weaving another braid into Bram’s hair as he sleeps. As childish and inappropriate as Ranpo can be sometimes, it is sweet to see him so happy with the one he loves. And if it sometimes means hearing about the more… intimate sides to their strangely formed relationship, then Atsushi finds he doesn’t mind.

Too much that is.

If you had told Fukuzawa that one day, he’d find the teenage genius that he’d taken in would one day settle down with someone and stay, he’d actually consider laughing.

Because if there was one undeniable fact about Ranpo, it was that if he deemed someone attractive, that was it; he would flirt and tease and manipulate until he got into that person’s pants. It was almost exclusively men that Ranpo would chase after, and the person was always older—Fukuzawa’s not too sure if that’s something he should’ve been concerned about, or if it’s just simply just who Ranpo is attracted to. He’s about ten years too late to ask anyway, and he also doesn’t care who Ranpo sleeps with in his spare time.

One might ask how Fukuzawa knows this.

Well, as it turns out, Ranpo was rather vocal about his adventures, especially since, for a time, Fukuzawa was the only adult in his life that he trusted.

And while he did start to hear less of it as the years went by and Ranpo got older, he also didn’t. Because as the Agency grew in size, and more and more people joined, somewhere along the line, Ranpo decided to try his luck with the new employees.

Which worked, but it also came with the unfortunate side effect that the people Ranpo chose to sleep with would come to him to complain when Ranpo decided it was just a one-time thing—which it always was, and he couldn’t understand how his employees hadn’t figured that out already. It wasn’t like Ranpo hid his nature and his expectations; he wasn’t the kind of person to string someone along and toy with their if they didn’t interest him or want to be treated like that, unless they were an asshole about it, and then he would make their life hell.

Fukuzawa can attest to that a few times in their years of operations.

Still, it got to the point where Fukuzawa had to pull Ranpo to the side and tell him to stop sleeping with the employee’s just so that the complaints would stop.

He still isn’t sure if Ranpo actually did ever stop, but the complaints sure did, so he never brought it up again.

So with knowing that about Ranpo, he is admittedly, surprised, when Yosano swings by and mentions that Ranpo’s got himself a boyfriend.

At first, he’s proud, because he’s looked after Ranpo for thirteen years now, and it’s always a proud moment when someone you care for takes an important step in life.

But then he’s concerned, because Yosano then tells him that it’s Bram Stoker that Ranpo’s chosen as his partner, and whilst he knows that Ranpo managed to convince the vampire to switch sides in the end, there’s no denying that Bram Stoker was once their enemy.

And as the president of the Agency, and Ranpo’s former guardian, he just wants to make sure that Ranpo is safe and not in danger.

So he schedules lunch. At Ranpo’s dorm, because even though Ranpo owns an apartment elsewhere like himself, he wanted a dorm the moment that Fukuzawa mentioned he was considering buying them. At first, the scheduled lunch is set for the weekend, but it happens during the week instead, when Ranpo calls out of work claiming that he’s unwell—which isn’t uncommon.

Ranpo’s also called out for less over the years.

It’s no bother to Fukuzawa though, he simply says he’ll bring something over for him at lunch, which is when Ranpo lets slip that he’s not alone, asking Fukuzawa to bring two portions because Bram is with him.

Fukuzawa agrees, and refrains from speaking what’s on his mind as he hangs up.

Whilst Ranpo has called out for a wide variety of reasons, he’s hoping that he didn’t call out today just to have sex with Bram.

He wouldn’t be surprised, but he’s hoping.

Ranpo’s dorm is unlocked when Fukuzawa arrives, a plastic bag in arm with three servings of curry inside from Ranpo’s favourite curry place, so Fukuzawa pushes the door open and steps inside, letting the door swing shut behind him. “Ranpo?”

“Over here, Fukuzawa-san!” The call comes from the direction of Ranpo’s bedroom, although it’s hard to understand the words through the congestion that’s attached to the voice.

Ranpo is most certainly sick.

Fukuzawa walks down the short hall until he reaches the bedroom and stands in the doorway, and the first thing he notices, is the lack of mess. In fact, it’s extremely clean in the dorm, like it’s just been cleaned. It’s strange to witness after all the years he spent cleaning up after the genius detective.

And speaking of Ranpo…

He’s on the other side of the room, futon pushed up against the wall with a mountain of pillows for him to rest against. He’s smiling at Fukuzawa with puffy eyes and a redness to his face, but as it turns out, he’s not alone in the futon. Bram’s there as well, fast asleep between Ranpo’s legs, head resting against Ranpo’s stomach, and an arm draped over his thigh. A closer look shows that Bram too, is sick, with the same puffiness and redness to his face as his lover.

“Is that curry?” Ranpo asks, making grabbing motions for the bag, leaning forward as far as he can without disturbing Bram.

“It is. Can you even smell it?” Fukuzawa hands the bag over and kneels beside the futon.

“Not at all, but I recognised the Bram.” Ranpo pulls out the containers, handing one over to Fukuzawa and placing his own on the floor before he ties the bag.

Fukuzawa blinks. “You aren’t going to wake Bram?”

“He just fell asleep before you arrived, so no. I’ll reheat it later for him.” Ranpo throws a grin up at Fukuzawa. “Bet you never thought you’d see me taking care of someone did ya?”

“I did not, although I am proud of you for doing so.” Fukuzawa gives a soft smile. “The two of you are doing well?”

“Yeah, aside from this cold of course. I don’t like being sick.”

“No one does, Ranpo.”

“Well, I absolutely hate it. You can’t do anything! And even worse, is that I gave my cold to Bram, too. Apparently if he drinks my blood when I’m sick, it gives him whatever illness I’ve got.”

Fukuzawa doesn’t even begin to try and believe he understands the situation. Mostly because his mind keeps picturing Ranpo has some blood bag for Bram, and he doesn’t quite know how to feel about that. Just knowing that Ranpo regularly lets Bram bite and feed off of him is enough—he’s almost certain that more happens, but that is not a bridge he is willing to cross.

So he decides a change in topic is the best path forward. “I have noticed that he sleeps a lot.”

“Bram? Well, duh, of course he does. He’s been just a head for over a decade, and been forced to use his ability to turn and control a large scale of vampires. You’d be tired too! Also, he’s a vampire, so daytime naps are kinda his thing.”

Fukuzawa hums, and opens his curry to start eating it, inclining his head towards Ranpo for him to do the same. “I see, well may this rest prove fruitful to him.”

“It will. He’ll be awake and active in no time! Now, tell me if any interesting cases have come through.”

The morning had been busy at the Agency, so Fukuzawa begins to tell Ranpo about everything he’s missed in those few hours, and surprisingly, it’s a lot.

It reminds him of the early days of the Agency, when he and Ranpo would sit down for a meal and Ranpo would excitedly tell him about all the cases he worked on that day. It’s almost exactly the same, except it’s him telling Ranpo about work, and Ranpo is listening attentively, with one hand running through his lover’s hair.

Dazai finds it funny that no one at the office has noticed the interesting new pattern that’s developed recently—although, he’s not actually surprised, because his co-workers aren’t very good at noticing things that aren’t supposed to be common knowledge. Nothing fails to get by him though, not after the years he spent in the Port Mafia making sure that he knew everything that went on in that building.

What is this pattern, you might ask?

Well, it’s the fact that before the naps that Ranpo and Bram take together on the Agency couch, the two of them disappear for approximately fifteen minutes—sometimes it’s a little longer, and sometimes it’s a little less, but it’s always around that amount of time—before Ranpo returns and sits at his desk, making it appear that he’s working when he absolutely isn’t. And then, always a few minutes after, Bram will return and crash on the couch, falling asleep in seconds before anyone can even question where he went.

It gives the illusion that Bram spends his entire day at the Agency just sleeping away, but Dazai knows better.

He’s also got a plan up his sleeve that will be executed in just a few minutes.

And sure enough, Bram and Ranpo, who have been standing at Ranpo’s desk and quietly talking, slink out the door together, hand in hand. It’s cute, and Dazai truly is happy for Ranpo that he’s found someone to love and that will love him, but if there’s one thing he’s known for, it’s causing a little bit of mayhem.

Dazai waits five minutes before he gets up and follows the two lovers out the door, taking just a few seconds to figure out which direction to go before turning left and heading towards the stairs. If there was one place in the building you wanted to go and not be disturbed, it’d be the empty third floor, good for nothing except as extra storage space. It doesn’t take him long to get there, and when he does, he grins as he hears groaning noises coming from behind one of the closed doors.

Bingo.

In an instant, Dazai is in front of the door and flinging it open with a massive grin on his face. “So what are you two lovebirds up to, huh?”

His question goes unanswered at first, which is expected, because Ranpo’s a little occupied with having Bram’s fangs in his neck, the vampire’s hands running down his bare chest towards the line of his pants. The room reeks of the scent of blood as some of it escapes Bram’s mouth, running down Ranpo’s neck and chest—a lot of blood for two small wounds, Dazai thinks.

“Dazai.” Ranpo glares at him as he curls a fist into Bram’s hair. There’s a blissed out look to his face that he’s clearly trying to fight off just to keep that glare focused on him. “Fuck off.”

“And why should I? You’re supposed to be working too you know.”

“Be—cause.” Ranpo drags the word out as Bram digs his fangs in a little deeper. “I’ll make sure the rest of your days here are spent in misery.”

It’s not a threat, but a promise, and a valid one at that. Dazai hesitates just a little, because Ranpo is nothing if not vengeful when he’s pissed off, but his stubborn side keeps him going. “Aww, don’t be like that, Ranpo-san, whatever would Fukuzawa-san say if he found out.”

Ranpo’s eyes narrow—a win for him.

“I’m sure he already suspects something is going on.” Dazai continues. “If he finds out you’re doing this in the Agency building, he might just ban Bram-san from it, especially since he doesn’t actually work for us.”

“Dazai-kun.” Bram rips away from Ranpo’s neck, dragging a quiet whimper from the other man, as he swings his head around to fixate glowing eyes on him. “If you don’t leave right now, I will drain you dry. And that is a promise.”

“Ugh, alright, fine! You two are no fun.” Dazai sighs as he turns to leave the room. He doesn’t want to see what happens next anyway, but he silently hopes that once they’re done, Ranpo limps.

It’ll be worth the misery that’ll follow just to embarrass Ranpo for a change.

[bsd14plus]

BSD EDUCATION SOUNDS! (all of the ones I could find so far......)

Please tell if the link doesn't work

Also sends me links of edu sounds in the comments so I can add to the list

[mothfrye]

@snailzzzz @chezwithlescrackers and I were just watching tiktok as a group and a bsd video came up with "educational sounds!" And we all died. Passed out. Gone.

you guys might start seeing some bsd content on here soon.

[eyesforahead]

EDUCATIONAL SOUNDS WARNING ⚠️ ✨ SIGMA EDITION ✨

Edit: A ranpo one has been uploaded ;) Please check it out and wear headphones 🎧 for best experience! ꒰⁠⑅⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠꒱⁠˖⁠♡

[dniosamu]

Mostly are taken from hentai/yaoi animes 😭😭

(YES. I WAS THE SAME AMOUNT OF SHOCKED and disgusted WHEN I FOUND OUT.)

(WTF?? I DIDNT EVEN KNOW THOSE EXISTED I ONLY KNOW BSD EDUCATION SOUNDS HOLY SHIT THATS DISGUSTING??)