#but I do feel like it kind of ties in with how through and oppression / privilege paradigm

[autisticchangeling]

I love that the disability Community exists, but sometimes when I see debates about what counts as disabled versus just an impairment versus whatever...

I wish there could just be a community I could join for people with -whatever- that wouldn't cause me to constantly have to question and prove that I'm really disabled and "I promise I'm not too happy to count as oppressed" and whatever. I don't know, I just sometimes want to be able to share community in the ways the disability community does without having to watch the debates about who really counts and always worrying I'm next.

If there was something for all the people who aren't "struggling enough" to belong in the disability community, I would join it just for the relief from the hypervigilance

[alphacentaurinebula]

I Forgive You: Queerness in Oppressive Systems

"How much trouble can I get into just for asking a few questions?"

There are a million ways to read Aziraphale's and Crowley's relationship and choices and I love them all, but one that struck me forcefully was the idea of different reactions to being queer in an oppressive (religious) system.  The two of them are such different people (not people) from the start, and their different experiences of Heaven and Hell are entirely the consequences of their different personalities.

First let's look at Crowley. A happier angel you never did meet. His joy and absolute adorableness in Before the Beginning was one of the sweetest moment in the whole season for me, out of so many sweet moments. He is utterly himself, and can't imagine the idea that he should hide any part of his identity. He is odd, unusual, asks damn fool questions - and he can't see what's wrong with that. Just like a queer kid who grows up in a religious system and  behaves outside of gender norms before realising that was something they weren't supposed to do, he can't imagine getting into trouble for his difference. And just like too many queer kids who can't/don't hide their difference, he gets kicked out of his home and abandoned.

Now, Aziraphale. He is a lot closer to Angel Behaviour TM, but it's clear that's because he understands there IS an expected behaviour, there IS a way he's supposed to act and think. He falls for Crowley, and is made to think about the questions Crowley is asking in a way that steps outside Angel Behaviour TM. But he instinctively understands how dangerous that is. He tries to pass that knowledge onto Crowley, to protect him. As he smushes himself into the Angel box, he ties himself into knots ensuring that he fits perfectly into the system around him, which he has identified as Good and Right and therefore anything different about himself would be Bad and Wrong. Much like a queer person trying to exist under an oppressive religious system, he has repressed those parts of himself that don't fit, and tried to sand off the corners and fit himself into the prescribed shape. 

Carrying this analogy through time, the Crowley we meet in the present day has already been abandoned, which allows him to see the system that left him more clearly. But he has never understood Aziraphale's perspective, because he never tried to change who he was for any system - not Heaven and not Hell. Though he does now understand that he has to hide certain parts of himself to survive - thus his constant refrain of “I’m not kind”. Clearly a necessary concealment, given what happens at the end of the Edinburgh minisode.

Throughout most of the flashbacks and even most of season 1, Aziraphale is still trying to smush himself into the shape of an Angel TM, and is terrified of stepping outside of it. He does learn that he can push the borders, that he can maybe stick a toe out here and there, that he can even fully step outside it for a moment as long as he doesn’t get caught (ie Job). But what he never really learns or at least never really believes, despite a mountain of evidence, is that Heaven is not synonymous with Good and Right. 

We can see it with Job, where Aziraphale is jumping through a million mental hoops to pretend to himself he is still doing the will of God even though he has been expressly told and seen evidence that God’s actual will is something Aziraphale would consider ‘wrong’. In Edinburgh he drops a heck of a lot of "ineffable"s trying to convince himself and Crowley that the heavenly system as it exists is just and right. 

And throughout season 2 but especially at the end, he clearly still feels that some Angels might not be Right and Good, but Heaven is Right and Good, and if only the right Angel is in charge of it, it can return to its core essence.

He still believes that Heaven is inherently Good, and so he is still trying to fit himself into a system that would reject him if it really knew him.

And all that is where “I forgive you” comes from for me - or at least that is one of the interpretations that makes sense to me. That basically because he's still so determined to fit into that Angel Shape TM, still so determined to be what Heaven says is right, that he is forgiving Crowley for challenging that, for making him want something else for a moment, for making it harder for him to repress those parts of himself that are different and, in his/Heaven's view, wrong.

And that is why Season 3 must end with Aziraphale realising that Heaven is not Good TM and with the takedown of the Celestial system itself. Yes apparently I end all of my metas with this now.

[diejager]

Hello there! I absolutely love your stepdad!konig piece!!

I actually comment this on ao3, but I also doing it here just in case 🥺

Reader is pregnant and horangi step up as father but what if the baby looks just like konig? Her mom will be suspicious? Konig will be overjoyed? Horangi will try to breed her as soon as possible?

Cw: DARKFIC, DUB-CON/NON-CON, stepcest, forced pregnancy, childbirth, implied kidnapping, gaslighting, tell me if I missed any.

There was a heavy amount of guilt in your heart when your twins were born, they stark difference between your boy who had pretty brown eyes and a smooth head, and your little girl’s gaping blue eyes, pale and blinking owlishly with small tears and a few black strands sprouting from her head. You feared what your mother would say when she saw that your sweet angel - Horangi had dubbed her Yoon-Suh - had neither yours, nor the Korean’s eyes. It made you wonder if this would be a sign for your mother, something to prove your fear and abuse, to open her eyes to your damned situation, but they had an excuse for everything.

“Eyes are a complicated thing, ” König had the doctor explain, facing your mother with a wrinkled, but kind and gentle expression, “She’ll outgrow them within the first year, Ma’am.”

Your mother seemed to trust the doctor’s words, you would as well if you hadn’t known the truth, he was a kind man who’s face looked so disarming. Your mother exclaimed her many fears of complications happening to you and Dr. Mathews was very patient with her growing worry, promising her that he’d be one call away.

“Call me whenever you have any complications, missy. Or one of the nurses, all right?” 

You were driven home after every check ups with the twins and your body to catch any issues that might’ve occurred through childbirth, dressed in loose clothes and coddled by both men while your mother stared on in awe and glee, seeing her husband help his step-daughter with her new children and the baby daddy took responsibility and stayed. It made her feel a sense of happiness and pride unlike you, who drowned under another wave of agony and sorrow. They, however much you loved your babies and their adorable faces, would tie you down to both men, stuck under the nose of your oblivious mother.

When Yoon-Sun’s eyes only grew paler, a shade between emerald and tourmaline, a beautiful mix if it didn’t remind you of König’s oppressive character. Your mother shared her confusion, questioning her husband about the clear ressemblancein Yoon-Suh and his eyes, but he shrugged it off, reminding her that it had only been two months and change was inevitable, whichever spectrum it went, it would eventually darken into a familiar shade. She nodded and hadn’t questioned your stepdad about her eyes anymore, somewhat satisfied with his answer.

And when Leon’s hair started growing, the few dark strands that seemed black until it curled into a soft auburn that your mother was extremely familiar with. What could they use as an excuse for Leon’s hair colour to appease your mother’s suspicion, to staunch her questioning. Unfortunately - fortunately for them and their wretched minds - your mother was never one to know any… complicated information, such studies weren’t in her education in her time, but it was in yours. You knew how basic genes worked and it wouldn’t make sense for your child to have the hair colour that neither parents had, recessive or dominant.

Yet, König and Horangi had managed to convince her otherwise without as much as a sweat, their words and experience convincing enough for her. She left it at then, but her suspicion was mounting, the wound bleeding and threatening to come to life. And before she could do anything, to stop them from feeling oh so proud of themselves, they took you away. You were gone in the night, taken under the watchful gaze of the moon, gagged and tied in the old van they repurposed to hold the twins safely while they drove across borders. 

She’d been gaslighted and naively trusting until the moment she woke up to a cold and vacant home, her husband and friend gone, grandchildren taken and her daughter taken. 

Taglist: @sae1kie @yeoldedumbslut @bvxygriimes @distracteddragoness @konigsblog @daisychainsinknots @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @danielle143 @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @notspiders @brokenpieces-72 @petwifed @randominstake @hayleybarnesx @shironasumi @lucienbarkbark @sparky--bunny @bloobewy @223princess @maylovesyousomuch @cod-z @sweetnanah @aldis-nuts @evolutionarry @kaoyamamegami

[mintacle]

My hot take is that the same people who call Jason copaganda, pr-gunviolence or etc are from the same vein as people who blame schoolshootings on videogame violence, who blamed crime on Metal and satanism.

Instead of taking a critical look at a system within which a symptom of a problem is making itself known, you look if there is an outside influence, a kind of "virus" that you can blame for making it "sick".

DC comics are a little fucked up. That's the agreement you entered when reading them. All characters are inconsistent and sometimes in the wrong. Jason is a Bat, so at least it feels like he's maybe substantial enough to blame for the whole batclans issues, in a way that Helena Bertinelli (for example) can't be, because she is less closely tied and has less appearances. Congratulations, you have an identified patient! Jason is the problem that is rippling out and causing all these nasty and unsatisfied feelings the readers have about how crime is handled in these comics.

We see crime being fought in imperfect ways and our current cultural consciousness goes off with warning bells to identify the problem. But what you were taught was to identify what outside influence happens to be present and connecting the issue, and how to justify that all evil stems from this malignant influence. So surely if we could just remove this bad thing, we could go back to the wonderful world we knew where everything was ok.

That world never existed. The thing we are nostalgic for, is the world before we became aware of it's flaws. The problem has always been there, has always been an integrated part of this whole you used to love and admire.

But because the kind of people blaming Jason for "copaganda" do genuinely and truly come from a good place of wanting social justice (I'm saying you are good people. I disagree and think you are making a logical error, but we do care about and want the same thing. Good People) because you come here with the right intentions, you use the buzzwords of copaganda. Or gunviolence. You know from what you have heard that the issue is systematic, but you are struggling to find what that system equivalent is in DC comics. You are falling victim to the fallacy of assuming a main narrative perspective. Just as irl cops are hard to identify as the problem bc you might have to first struggle through the cognitive dissonance that your old worldview of good cops was wrong (so so wrong), you experience cognitive dissonance if trying to read comics with someone like Batman being wrong and flawed.

Looking beyond any superficial similarities to cops Jason is called out for (uses a gun, kills, enforcing his vision of justice) he really doesn't have much more similarities. He isn't a figure of authority, he lacks the nigh god-given justification to do whatever he wants whatever the outcome and is questioned at every turn. Just the sheer instances of Batman or another Bat showing up to beat Jason up and lecture him on what he does.

Extending this, he does not have the pervasive and persuasive power to shape a narrative. Jason's narrative is so far out of his hands. Which has been a core truth about him since for ever. From his maleable origin story, to his death, the years of him being gone and having No Voice Whatsoever, his resurrection in utrh showing him trying, struggling to have a voice against Bruce's story and being drowned out and denied his perspective, the inconsistency of his character after, each writer trying to shape him into something. Now cops fucking have a narrative. Their narrative is the main one we are fed. Their violence is structured and oppressive. Jason is neither a structural systemic power, nor is he oppressive of anyone. If you disagree with his violence for the sake of the moral highground of condemning killing.... Then, just, there are other media, you know.

Cop violence is systemic violence. It is violence that is "justified" to the extent it requires no justification. It is above being questioned. I am genuinely willing to hear an argument how Jason is cop-coded. But to me he is the punk resistance based "violence" that is only organized in the anarchical but organical sense of caring to protect the community that surrounds you. He doesn't approach Gotham as a paternalistic force of protection shielding it from above, but as one of them from within, showing up for the people who are suffering the way he has suffered too.

[david-talks-sw]

Okay so I watched Inside Man on Netflix. It's interesting. More importantly, it's a masterclass in crafting likeable characters and how the POV we follow in a scene affects the way we see a character. Also, this somehow relates to the Star Wars Prequels, I promise! 😆

The moral of the series is that "everyone is a murderer, all it takes is a good reason and a bad day." The main characters are:

A vicar who - through a huge misunderstanding - has now locked his son's tutor in his basement and doesn't know how to get out of this situation, played by David Tennant.

A convicted murderer and ex-criminal psychology professor who solves crimes from his cell, as he waits for his execution, played by Stanley Tucci.

So a man who locked a woman in his cellar and a guy who murdered his wife. In any other movie, these guys are the villains. Yet, both of these characters are extremely likeable!

This is achieved through how relatably they behave in their relationships (kind, humble, humorous)...

... and through the emotion and/or charisma brought by the actors playing them (it's THE DOCTOR/CROWLEY and Stanley Friggin' Tucci)... but also through the amount of screen time they get.

We're with them for most of the show. There's other characters (the journalist, the trapped tutor and the vicar's wife) and subplots, of course, but they're our two anchors.

So when I'm watching David Tennant lock his son's tutor in his cellar and consider if he should free her - only to see him and his wife make things worse - I'm not thinking "you monster" like I do when I see Buffalo Bill in Silence of the Lambs for example.

No, I'm thinking "goddammit vicar you're making things worse, it'll come back to haunt you, there's still a chance to turn back, please!" I'm rooting for him to make the right choice because I'm seeing him struggle and despair and hesitate throughout many scenes.

When I'm watching Stanley Tucci guiltily say he deserves death, after being so darn charming, humble and in clear possession of a moral compass, my instinct as a viewer isn't to go "he's right".

It's to go "aaaw, no it's fine, everyone makes mistakes."

And these characters remain likeable and/or relatable for a huge chunk of time... until, every once in a while, the show reminds you that, "remember, these guys are criminals."

"One of them's killed his wife then decapitated her, and the other one is contemplating murder, so they did/are doing evil stuff, they're the villains and you shouldn't grow fond of them."

Then it goes back to making you empathize with them again.

It's quite the emotional roller-coaster, very intriguing yet frustrating, which I have to guess is exactly what the show is going for.

But the point is: the amount of time we spend with these characters is partially what elicits this emotional reaction out of us.

If we consider the tutor's character:

For all intents and purposes, we should feel sorry for her, or full-on fucking love her. Objectively-speaking, she's:

smart but obviously scared,

we establish early on that she has a brave heart and stands up for oppressed women,

she thinks she's trapped by a pedophile or a man defending a pedophile, figures he'll inevitably try to murder her, yet manages to stay resourceful, determined and cool-headed despite it all.

She's an absolute superhero.

But that's not how the narrative frames her.

She's framed as an antagonistic force, in the vicar's subplot.

She may be the one tied up in a basement, but she's in control and the vicar is not. She's almost framed as being in a position of power (when she's really not), which leads the audience to view Tenant's vicar as an underdog.

When the vicar is trying to look for alternatives to end this situation so that he doesn't have to kill her, she's unhelpful,

and even starts pitting the vicar and his wife against each other.

Again, in-universe, she's scared shitless and in "fight-or-flight" mode. She's putting up a front because she's just trying to get outta this alive. She's the victim, here, not the vicar who captured her.

But as a viewer, you don't feel that, despite objectively knowing that. Why and how?

Because we barely see this character, compared to Tenant's vicar. So we have more time to grow to feel for him. There's "why".

Also 90% of what we do see of the tutor is her being aggressive, manipulative, sometimes downright merciless and we're seeing her from the POV of the vicar or the vicar's wife. There's "how".

Result: the viewer feels sorry for the captor and frustrated towards the captive.

This isn't a rational reaction, it's an emotional one (the goal of any visual artform being to get an emotional reaction out of the viewer).

Which means the series and Stephen Moffat effectively did their job.

How does this relate to the Prequels?

Well, a lot of people see the Jedi in a negative light in the Prequels, and Anakin in a more sympathetic one.

Even though the Prequels are about how a good man becomes bad, and even though the Jedi embody one of the major Star Wars themes (selflesness) as opposed to Anakin who clearly displays the anti-theme (selfish)... a majority of fans feels more for the latter than the former. Why?

Because the Prequels unintentionally do what Inside Man does purposefully. You react to Anakin like you react to the vicar. You react to the Jedi like you react to the tutor.

Simply put: Anakin has more screen time than the Jedi. And we don't just see him more, we see him struggle, we see him about what he knows to be morally right vs what he really wants, we see him be overtaken by his own fear...

... and just by contrast, that makes him more relatable than the Jedi, who have already overcome their character arcs and mostly all learned to keep their flaws in check.

The narrative doesn't intend to frame them as antagonistic. We do see them talk about how worried they are, we do see them emote.

And if you think about it, it's easy to see why:

their entire way of life is going to crap,

their values are being corrupted as they're forced to fight and die, alongside their clone brothers, in a war they wanted no part of,

they sense that the Force is close to the breaking point and that the galaxy's inhabitants are suffering on the daily.

But, for example, when Mace or Ki-Adi Mundi are shown expressing concern in the Prequels... as worried as they are, in-universe... out-of-universe, their measured reactions doesn't emotionally impact a viewer as much as Anakin's intense ones do.

So a big chunk of the audience will sympathize more with him than them. But like the tutor in Inside Man, the Jedi are objectively the victims and Anakin is objectively an unstable space-nazi who betrayed and destroyed them.

Just because we're not shown these characters be worried beyond just monotonously saying "I'm worried" doesn't mean they're not actually worried as Anakin is in Revenge of the Sith (if not more).

However we don't see it.

Because these three films aren't about the Jedi Order, they're about the Republic and about Anakin and about how each of these two beautiful things were corrupted (by Palpatine and by themselves) into becoming the very thing they stood against.

The Jedi aren't a factor in either of those two themes set up by George Lucas.

They became a factor when fans - who despite not liking the Prequels, still admirably chose to engage with the material - made the Jedi be more important to the narrative of the Prequels by re-framing these films as "The Failure of the Jedi".

Now, should Lucas have recognized that most fans wouldn't give two shits about why a Republic falls or the "matinee serial" format, and would've rather he focused on the Jedi, and developed them accordingly? Probably.

But good luck telling an indie filmmaker with a bunch of money how to tell the story he wants to tell.

Could Lucas have done more with the Prequels to highlight the fact that the Jedi are the underdogs of the story, not Anakin's oppressors? Yes.

But, firstly, he probably didn't think that was a point that needed explaining. And secondly, as he explained at Cannes, in 2002, feature films are a very limiting format to tell a story, especially one of the Prequels' scale. If it doesn't directly contribute to the story you're telling... it's gotta go.

A limited show would've been better to cover every aspect of the Prequels more in detail and avoid confusing the audience re: who they should be rooting for.

Which is why it's interesting, to me, that Stephen Moffat used his limited show to INTENTIONALLY confuse the audience! 😃

[vexingwoman]

Uh not actually here to hate but to say thanks???? Ive been thinking alot on my self expression and trying to figure out how to word it, and seeing some of your comments with other people really helped to put in perspective what I was trying to come to terms with. Ive always struggled with my gender but acknowledge fully that I'm biologically female. (Stay with me here till the end please i know lol) I genuinely dont care what pronouns I'm called either and none have ever felt right if I'm honest and nothing I've read or tried has been adding up for me over the years to help me feel any better.

Kinda realizing over the past year or so that I just have this deep ingrained idea from being surrounded constantly my whole life in a woman hating environment that I just have a *really* heavily masked hatred for what general society treats women as and was trying to remove myself from it hoping itd somehow save me from the terrible shit we all go through daily. And it just made me feel even more alienated doing that to myself. Its been a long time of coming around to this and I know how it sounds but I dont wanna consider any of my time wasted. I dont remember what it was but something you said to someone in a long ass comment fight clicked for me and rn I'm sleep deprived and wont even remember what it was in the morning either but I feel like some kind of weight has been eased off me. Im doing my best to unlearn the sexist misogynistic bs ive had shoved down my throat my whole life that made me think being a woman was something to be shameful of and better off without.

Its been hard trying to look into this radfem community and find someone who didn't immediately just insult and exclude ppl that werent already on the ball agreeing. Basically I appreciate your ranting with strangers. Amd indulging some of their curiousity as clearly as you can+defining everything you say constantly so I dont get lost in a whirlwind of hard to understand metaphors. Idk you get it. Something clicked and i dont feel ashamed for the time gone bc I know it was heavily influenced by the oppression of all things normal-human-womanly around me. I hate that we're all so tied into these stereotypes. Its painfully hard to unlearn. Thanks for the help. Have a fat block of text as thanks cause I'm not sure how to sound as genuine as I feel rn. Have a nice day and an even better tomorrow. Im gonna get some sleep now💀(stayed up WAY too late painting lol) bye!

This is so wonderful to hear. I know how dreadful it is doing serious introspection and making yourself aware of how deeply and unconsciously your internalized sexism runs. I’ve been there, and I know it’s even more difficult to deconstruct the subtle sexist attitudes which have been ingrained into to us since birth. Often it seems as hopeless as chasing smoke, because some of our internalized sexism is so deep that it’s invisible, and worse, inarticulable.

Some women will never think on these subjects beyond their surface level—will never dissect their preferences, will never concede that their choices are influenced by sex-based socialization, will never seriously reflect on why they are so desperate to identify out of womanhood. And in a strange way, I sympathize with these women, because I understand that it’s easier to shut your eyes and convince yourself that you were born in the wrong body than it is to open your eyes and acknowledge how much sexism has seeped into and corrupted our own minds.

Basically, I’m proud of you for putting yourself through the pain of deconstructing your own internalized sexism. You are better for even attempting it, and I hope you continue to do so.

P.S. I know exactly which long-ass comment fight you’re referring to, because I only put myself through that once. At least someone benefited from the literal month I spent arguing with that stranger. They blocked me, so unfortunately I can’t even go back and analyze the conversation if I ever wanted to. I would love to know what you took away from it, if you ever do remember.

[riotrhea]

hey could i ask, what does being butch mean to you? all my friends tell me I've got butch vibes, or I'm butch-adjacent, or whatever, and it feels good, it feels right. i feel so much euphoria when people see me that way. but I'm not really even sure what it means. I'm sporty, I'm handy, i don't dress very feminine, sure, but that feels....kind of surface level? i guess I'm wondering, surely there's something deeper to it than that? i feel like i want it to be something more meaningful about who i am at my core i guess

Okay so this is a question I've answered a couple different ways over the years, and it always ends with me rambling a bit so stay with me: For me, being butch has a lot to do with how I interact with the world around me. In Gender Outlaw, Kate Bornstein has an interesting idea of relating gender to a language we speak to others to tell them how to perceive us - it can signify our class, our ideals, our relation to patriarchy, and what defines us most. I think that speaks a lot to my conception of what being butch means: I want people to know my values just through my looks, my deeds, and the way I hold myself. I want them to know that I value forms of masculinity and femininity not defined by an oppressive patriarchal cishet culture, that solidarity and understanding for those who are shunned by society is a priority for me, and that I won't be forced to accept what that same society thinks a person has to be. In that way I find my butch identity to be very closely tied to my politics. The forces that systemically keep these forms of oppression alive can only really be halted by a movement built on loyalty to one another and love for community, and I think many of us hold compassion and fidelity very near to our hearts because of that.

But to get back to the point - I think the fact that it gave you such euphoria is already a good sign you might be exploring in the right direction. Sporty and handy can definitely be a part of it for you, it is for a lot of folks, but you're right that it is so much deeper than aesthetic and interest and I'm hoping that delving those depths is something that might be in your future. Even if you don't end up feeling like calling yourself butch is quite right, I think we always get value out of that sort of introspection. What do you want people to see when they look at you, to know about you? What do you want to tell the world? Like words and languages, the possibilities are endless.

[fanartbyherd]

Here are some of the earliest drawings I made for this Au. Even before it was really made into an au.

Speaking of old here are some notes I made to myself about the au… some of these things have changed but I think it’s still somewhat accurate to the current AU rules:

Au

So there’s people who are only slightly touched, there’s people who are aligned, there a people who have a dedication and then finally there are people with names powers and then there are those who have a title

Those with a title are technically canidets to become demigods

Though I made a note in my writing that there has not been any demigods since antiquity.

The last demigod for the power of the knowing was the last orical of Delphi kind of old

And those with titles are rare to, I made a note that no siren, the title for the power of agape , has been seen since ww1

Anyways each individual aspect of a pantheon can also be broken down to smaller sections that demonstrate what they can do Though I’m not very certain what each one is

I do know that the power of beholdin is broken down into three talents, the ability to convince others to give you the information you want, the ability to learn things you are not meant to know and the ability to identify things around them

Meanwhile the smaller talents of its closely related power of the knowing is the ability to understand what you are looking for, having a gut feeling about what is the right or wrong awnser, and the ability to understand what they should not understand

(Understanding something is different from simply knowing something)

There are also several powers that have links or strong overlaps

The slaughter and strategy are based off the two aspects of war, think the relationship between the goddess Athena and her brother Aries, one is carnage one is tactics. Just in the same way are the powers. And neither the slaughter or strategy are tied solely to war.

The twisted maze, the navigator and loneliness are all essentially able to teleport, The twisting can do so by accessing a void called the backspace, (the maze, the in between, the reflection etc.) and the loneliness makes use of a foggy void called Limbo (the near shores, the here neither, purgatory, etc.) The navigator uses a bit of both and carves out tunnels through these void spaces and uses them to travel

The majority of navigators are not able to move more than a few people at a time and sometimes only themselves and they seem to have a personal limit on how far away they can move between these places

The twisted maze is also called the spiral and thier teleportation occurs by moving through the backspace that they can access, but the backspace is exceptionally dangerous as you are likely to get lost or eaten by some monster that lives there.

You can also fall down into the deep place, which is tied closer with the Dreams and the End…

The loneliness of the limbo is dangerous because of its draining quality, the more time that is spent in limbo the more it drains out your color, your emotions, filling you with a deep void in the chest, a loneliness that is oppressive and all consuming

Eventually those who travel limbo fade into a disembodied voice and finally to nothingness Other powers are connected for storage reasons, things like end (death) and dreams Title for the end is phycopomps and for dreams is sandmen

Some powers are each others opposites, things like light and dark, the endless vast and the buried

There’s also things that can be used to strengthen or weaken powers, things like evil eyes or dream catchers are objects that use power to keep other powers at bay Evil eyes are also used to strengthen the ability of the knowing and beholder

But also weaken them at the same time.

[the-raging-tempest]

For Lariel:

16. What makes their stomach turn?

20. If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?

38. What memory do they revisit the most often? 

For Zrise:

21. Why do they get up in the morning? 

28. Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth? 

38. What memory do they revisit the most often? 

DUJOUR! Thank you for the ask!! This one took me quite awhile because there are so many good ones!

What makes their stomach turn?

When someone disregards or uses their power to abuses others. Something that will make her especially angry to the point of immediate action is seeing people enslaved, exploited, oppressed, or dominated against their will. Those who are persecuted for things out of their control. Lariel is usually a quiet and respectful person but encountering this makes her see red and she will hear no excuse in trying to justify it.

If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?

Lariel would describe romantic love as passionate, the kind of love that makes you feel butterflies, that keeps you up at night. Makes you wonder what someone is up too. Romantic love is about loving what someone is now and what they will be. What they have been and what are not. A longing of two becoming one. Though she will freely admit this is also because she read about it. Rather than experiencing it.

Platonic love she would describe as worrying if someone has eaten enough food. Wanting to see them smile. Feeling comfortable and happy around them. They are the love you choose and continue to every day. A love of two separate but equal people. She would also say that ‘true love’ has both elements of platonic and romantic love. This is the type of love she most often and freely experiences as she can more easily take an observant role.

Familial love. She very much sees as the love you do not choose. You feel it as much against your will as romantic love but you are born into it. It is a love that is not freely given as much as it is freely taken. It is a love that is built on obligation and duty. A wish not to disappoint. A desire for approval. Someone who watches over you. A kind of love that does not mean you feel loved in return. Her bias is obvious…

What memory do they revisit the most often? 

This is a tough question. This one took me forever. Let me tell you. I think I will go with what she thinks about against her wishes. Not the memory she chooses if that makes sense.

I think Lariel doesn’t often actually think of memories as in specific events. More amalgamations of things. So often her memories bend and bleed together because she spent so much time in the same place doing the same thing. Over and over. She spends so much time in her head. This is why she collects objects and things. They are a way to better hold onto a moment for her. Letters or journals help her.

I think the one that she often remembers against her will is when she is sorting through and sees the letter Eithon gave to her. She saved because she was excited he said he’d come to celebrate her birthday. She ties that with the memory of holding onto it clinging. One of the few times she visited the chapel on her family’s estate. It is dedicated to Calistria but she prayed and prayed. The night after he died. Begging and begging. Falling asleep there and then she became quite sick from sleeping on the cold stone.

Why do they get up in the morning? 

This depends on his mental state. A lot of the time it’s just thinking about what he has to do. He needs something to do. Like what obligations he has to do. It’s that he doesn’t want to be asleep, or try to sleep anymore. I can’t remember if I’ve said it before but in the morning he’s a little robotic. Going through the motions of habits. Things he’s been trained and told what to do. If someone asked him this question in the sense of asking what motivates him he would very much not like this question. He’d get very defensive about it. There are times he even spirals when he asks himself. He really doesn’t like to think about it.

Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth? 

Such a good question for him. I think he believes he prefers a lie. Most moments where he feels weak and vulnerable he will happily take a lie. But I think they eat away at him. Slowly but surely. Especially if he knows it’s a lie. He’s built a lot of his life on lies. Often feels he’s made of them. I think the unpleasant truth would give him a worse reaction in the moment. But would overall be much more healthy for him. If you survived telling it to him…

What memory do they revisit the most often? 

Once again. I’m taking this as a memory they don’t intent to revisit.

Zrise does not sleep well. It takes him forever to fall asleep. And he’s often up early. He often has nightmares of the day he died. The memories are very vivid to him. Sometimes out of body. Watching himself be drown. Sometimes it’s dreaming he’s sinking and he can’t swim. Sometimes it’s just the force of his mother’s hand on his neck as his lungs fill with water. It’s why he hates sleeping. The memories of waking up in a strange and terrifying body that became his reality. One he was disgusted by. Sometimes its dreams about laying under the stars and waiting for his mother to return. Sometimes its dreams about Pharasma’s court. In horrible terrifying divine authority. He stands there dripping wet before he’s ripped away. Being told in attempting to escape he will face a fate worse than death when they meet again.

[enigmatist17]

Anon Pt 3

------------------

Ahsoka didn't normally fear her cramped bunk. The Resolute was her home in this war, and being a padawan, she'd been allowed to lightly decorate her space to make it feel closer to her room back in the Temple. However the candles and expansive rug over the floor felt alien, and the bed built into the wall had been raided of its mattress in preference to the floor.

Oppressive heat that climbs as the air grows sparse, limbs growing heavy and fear climbing as they hope the call for help will be answered

Sufficed to say, Ahsoka can't handle the limited space.

So she sleeps on the floor, and for a few weeks just does her best to go back to things as normal. However, when tasked with getting into a fighter for routine flight training, the confined space felt like a death sentence as she managed a few minutes flying around the Resolute.

She's going to die, it's so tight and cold and she has to GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT

"Commander where are you going?!" Rex's voice felt so far away as she sped towards the docking bay, her landing definitely a rough one as some men scramble to get out of her ships way. None of it registers as she heaves herself out of the fighter, collapsing onto the ground while trying to force air into her lungs that screamed for it. There are voices as she's surrounded by a few clones, and Ahsoka hugs her legs to her chest as she ties to make sense of what just happened. It's just all too loud, too jumbled, too much as she presses her forehead against her knees to try and block it all out.

"Okay okay give her some air!" Jesse's commanding voice seems to cut through the clamor like a vibroblade, and his familiar armor is the first thing Ahsoka can look at for longer than a moment as he kneels in front of her and gently nudges her to look up. "Hey, look at me, sir."

"Jesse...?" The other gives Ahsoka a soft smile, and finds himself pushed back onto the floor when Ashoka launched herself into his arms. Propping himself up into a seated position, Jesse motions for someone to get him a canteen while he hugs her close with his other arm.

"You're alright vod'ika, just focus on your breathing." Jesse hopes he's saying the right thing as the commander in his arms struggles to regulate her breathing, but figures he's doing something right when ever so slowly the trembling starts to ease. By the time Rex and the others have all landed and had booked it over, Ahsoka has almost fully stopped trembling as she sipped her water, looking absolutely drained as she's surrounded.

"What happened, is she alright?" Hardcase asked as Rex knelt beside the two, at least relieved not to see any blood or obvious injuries.

"I think she had a panic attack." Jesse replied, the lack of joke from Ahsoka a bit unsettling. "Geonosis if I had to bite."

"How..?" Ahsoka nearly winced at how scratchy her voice was, but was far too exhausted to really care at the moment.

"You've been sleeping on the floor since then, not hard to guess." Fives knelt down, giving a small smile. "If it helps, we get it."

"You know, you're always welcome to come join us." Dogma spoke up, gaining a few looks from the normally quiet man. "It helps us to be around each other for support, and that extends to you."

"Grumpy there is right." Fives grinned, earning a grumble. "Better than being all alone in your bunk right?"

"Well...it does sound nice." Ahsoka hummed, sitting up a little big straighter while remaining in Jesse's hold.

It was the first kind of warmth in weeks that didn't make her skin crawl.

"I'd take them up on it, Rex makes a comfy pillow." Anakin's voice made most of the group jump in surprise, having not seen the Knight come down to the hangar bay. "You alright Snips?"

"i...I've been better." Ahsoka watched as Rex stood to let Anakin take his place, a gloved hand being placed on her shoulder. "It..it was like I was back there, trying to get the stupid comm working and hoping you'd find us."

"You don't have to explain anything to me, I know." Anakin's smile was like a balm, and the dread from a few minutes ago has eased to a reasonable thrum of anxiety in the back of her mind. "Why don't we move to a place that's a little less drafty huh? I'll make some of those biscuits that Obi-Wan makes for you, sound promising?"

"The ones that you make the, what's it called, icing for?" Echo asked curiously, and grins when Anakin nods. "Those are amazing sir."

"I call the first ones!" Hardcase yelled at the same times Fives did, and the two glare in challenge. "I said it first!"

"You did not!" Fives complained, and reaches over to shove Hardcase once he's back on his feet.

"Oh you've done it now!" Hardcase grinned before grabbing Fives and pinning him in a headlock, the others giving the two space to wrestle as Jesse and Ahsoka get up off the floor. Ahsoka watched the good-natured fight while leaning into Jesse's side, laughing a bit when Rex broke them up with an exasperated sigh.

"Come on guys, lets see if you can beat Ahsoka to the first batch." Anakin grinned, and Ahsoka finds herself in the middle of the grouping of 501st soldiers, with Anakin's arm around her shoulders as they walk towards the bay exit. Their laughter and chatter is more soothing than anything Ahsoka could ever hope for, and as they all pile into the elevator, she smiles.

[invested-in-your-future]

The thing about color-coding characters though is that you generally do it to establish specific personality and tie it to specific color scheme. The Cast having specific color scheme is part of their identity as characters. Whether its super sentai, magical girl shows or a 3D web series from exploitative "indie company" you do it because want to associate characters with specific color scheme. You want to "express" a character through their distinct appearance.

I think its perfectly fine to break a character's color scheme for a while especially with a good narrative reason. Is character going through some period of time of self-doubt? Has character majorly reinvented with how they see themselves? For example Yang in my rewrite draft just generally wears whatever is practical for a while and clothing choices are subconsciously devoid of her normal color scheme, because she feels genuinely lost and unsure of who she is or who she wants to be and she tries to avoid negative memories tied with specific things or past actions.

Has RWBY-proper Blake truly got a character arc where she genuinely reinvents herself, actually faces her trauma and learns to live with her traumatic experiences, breaks away from her past, resolves her character conflict(you know the whole thing about oppression and racism) and finds a direction in her life that she wants to go with? Has ANY of the lead cast gone through a sufficiently strong character arc that is an actual focus of the show and leads to them genuinely changing themselves and thus altering their color scheme? The Answer is a NO. Weiss comes the closest, but the franchise still likes to pretend that nothing changed at times and whatever bits and pieces the show did give her are just kind of there.

The show has given practically zero actual narrative reasons for any of the cast to actually alter their outfit color scheme. RT are just trying random things and messing with (honestly pretty iconic) designs just for the sake of it and it often turns out out real bad (ex: buttcapes, Weiss losing asymmetrical aspect of her design for a while, current Weiss outfit being just why, beltsbeltsbeltsbelts, etc)

[rollercoasterwords]

i had such A fun time reading r’s ch. he knows so much more than s lol, indulge us so many information. i’m gonna miss his pov!!

also you’re a genius. this is such a complex story. the plot is a lot. and we have two very distinct perspectives going on that fit each other beautifully. it’s a difficult writing and you make look like it’s easy.

anywayyyy! i started rambling. i meant to ask how you think r’s feelings for s are right now, after he knows s knows he’s in the order (if this can’t be answered without giving much away you just ignore it

thank u!! i do not know if i would call myself a genius lmao i feel more like a kid in a candy store who's just grabbing every single yummy plot idea that i see...will i be able 2 successfully weave them all together 2 make it work? who knows...stay tuned...

as for how r is feeling! i suppose this might be giving like. a bit of information away just bc this is not info that s will be privy to once we switch back to his pov in pt ii obviously but. i don't think it spoils anything in terms of plot etc. still i will put it under a cut just in case!

so the thing for remus is that like. he genuinely hated sirius + all he stood for going into this. like i am hoping that came through lmao but unlike sirius who was basically experiencing a somewhat like....linear? i guess? process of slowly growing closer (or so he thought) to remus + opening up to him + getting to know him better, remus's feelings have been much more tangled throughout.

sirius has definitely surprised him, and he's got the self-awareness to acknowledge that sirius isn't exactly who he thought he was/expected him to be. at the same time, in any instance where remus's own feelings softened--whether he was feeling pity, empathy, sympathy, attraction, etc--he has had a pretty immediate + visceral pushback in his own mind. unlike sirius, who basically trusted that what he was getting at face value w remus was 'real,' there is always doubt in the back of remus's mind that anything sirius is doing could be some sort of act or play, and any soft feelings he's evoking could be an intentional move on his part--partially bc that's exactly what remus is doing to sirius lmao. so while sirius is, for the most part, letting himself just experience those feelings as they come, for remus any instance of positive feeling is immediately wrapped up in a reminder of the potential danger, the power imbalance, and thus the hatred that he continues to harbor towards sirius.

as time went on it became more apparent that sirius wasn't like, performing any sort of act/didn't really have a ploy the way remus did, but remus could never fully let go of that doubt. and even when the doubt lessened + he began to feel like sirius was potentially being genuine (or as genuine as he could be, in this sort of situation where they are both hiding so much from each other), those feelings were still wrapped up in hatred. remus doesn't want sirius to be nice. he doesn't want sirius to care about him. he doesn't want sirius to be gentle or thoughtful or kind because he doesn't want to like sirius, he doesn't want to feel anything other than hate for sirius, and the fact that he is starting to just makes him hate sirius more, because it feels to him like one more way that sirius is taking power away from him. so again, any 'softening' from remus is pretty immediately shut down by a hardening of his hatred, and also tied to disgust with himself that he's even capable of feeling something for a person who is basically like. the mascot of his oppression. he wanted to finish his mission and leave sirius behind and never have to see him or think about him again.

but! obviously that cannot happen now <3 and i do not think i can say much more without giving stuff away but!! that's basically where remus is at by the end of ch 6 lol

[uptoolateart]

Adrien's Fight for Self-Control - Pt 1

So, you’ll know by now that I have an Adrien obsession, because my inner child just relates to him so hard. I’ve wanted to talk about his fight for self-control for so long, and Season 5 is pushing the issue further – so here goes!

I’ve posted this in 3 parts for easy reading :)

Childhood Programming

Let’s get the basics out of the way. Adrien was home schooled for years, enabling his parents to select his friends for him - Chloe and Felix. The first decision Adrien makes on his own is to go to school. Plagg calls him strange for it, but it isn’t about school – it’s about those precious hours out of the house, without being watched, and being able to choose his own friends.

All his talents were chosen for him – fencing, piano, Chinese, etc. His career in modelling was forced on him. Even when he admits to Plagg that he wants to quit, he attends an expo looking for food booths, trying to find an identity through his kwami.

We see in ‘Wishmaker’ that he only ever wanted to be was what his parents wanted him to be. This implicates Emilie, too. Adrien didn’t just learn how to do all these things overnight, and he wasn’t home schooled only since she died. At the very least, Emilie allowed Gabriel to dictate their son’s life. One way or another, she had a hand in Adrien’s oppression.

Imprisonment

I’ve pointed out before that Adrien’s bedroom windows are covered in bars, and as Cat Noir he’s often shown using his cataclysm to break through bars. Keeping him at home all those years and moulding him into someone he’s not is another form of imprisonment – but so is the state of grief.

He doesn’t know it, but his home is a mausoleum, with Emilie’s body in the basement and statues in the garden. He’s trapped by the memories of his mother, and his father’s inability to move on. Adrien can’t live, can’t breathe. And for the longest time, I think he’s been trapped inside himself, struggling to get out of the shell that is the brand Adrien Agreste or even the character he made for himself as Cat Noir.

The Twin Rings

This is not to speak of the rings, which give literal control over Adrien in episodes like ‘Ephemeral’ and ‘Risk’. And let’s recall that Emilie had one of these, which again implicates her. I noted in Season 5 that Nathalie still wears the ring Gabriel passed to her in ‘Risk’. Chekov’s gun tells us that is definitely coming back. If she wanted, just what could she do to him?

Felix stole one of these rings, which was him trying to take back control of himself. Getting the peacock miraculous furthered this, and it waits to be seen what he’ll use it for. It’s clearly more than just self-protection. Adrien isn’t even there yet, but we know he will eventually surpass his cousin – because Adrien is not out for vengeance and hurt. I fully expect him to have a dark moment, but he will overcome it, because kindness is one of his greatest innate strengths.

Adrien’s Friendship Group

Moving outside the Agreste Mansion, let’s look at Adrien’s friendship group. How many times do they make decisions for him, or push him to do things he feels uncomfortable about? Even though we all know Nino means the best for him, in ‘The Bubbler’ he pressures Adrien into the birthday party that goes wildly wrong, and in ‘Party Crasher’ he leads all the boys to pressure Adrien into a secret shindig at the mansion.

All of this comes from the heart, of course – but these aren’t Adrien’s decisions. They’re Adrien being bossed around, just by people who mean better than his father.

Ladybug

We all know Ladybug bosses him around all the time, too. Worse than this, she repeatedly uses him, for instance as a weapon, and he sacrifices himself over and over again. We’re seeing this change in S5, the crucial moment being in ‘Reunion’ when Pharoah throws Cat down and Ladybug expresses concern that he got hurt. I’m pretty sure this is the first time she ever stopped to consider that he wasn’t invulnerable and might actually appreciate some care for his wellbeing. It was a long time coming, and ultimately it came about through Cat getting some self-respect and showing her that he was worth caring about. As long as he allowed her to boss him around, she was never going to stop. I don’t think it was done out of cruelty – she just had to learn.

Kagami

Kagami has never been shy and retiring. In ‘Frozer’ she tells Marinette that you have to be decisive and go after what you want. The way she talks about Adrien as her ‘target’ implies that she doesn’t really see him for him. He’s just an object of conquest, because this is how Ms Tsurugi has trained Kagami to think.

Kagami forces herself on Adrien, pushing a kiss on him that leaves him flustered, and he tells her he wasn’t ready. He dates her because she basically tells him to and he doesn’t know how to tell anyone no, at that point. In ‘Lies’ she pushes him against a wall and tells him that the silly side to him isn’t who he really is – ‘this is who you are’ (an intimidated mess totally cornered with no room to breathe or even stand up straight). He goes as far as asking, ‘Do you really think���?’ as if she might know who he is better than he does. But he ducks out of the situation and escapes, which is a key moment of development for him.

Even so, he doesn’t have the nerve to end things. Kagami is the one who dumps him. She calls all the shots. By the end of the season, in ‘Risk’ she calls him and tells him off for letting Felix literally take his place to stand up to his father, to enable Adrien to hide from his personal responsibilities. After barely seeing her through most of the season, she finally acknowledges that she pushed him around when they dated, and he let her and it was wrong. We can assume she spent the season self-reflecting on how badly she acted…but she’s right that it was half his fault. He enabled the behaviour, because that’s what he’s groomed for.

Ironically, the only reason he rushes back to the mansion to take back his identity after Felix stole it, and stand up to his father, is because Kagami told him to. I’m relieved Adrien didn’t get the chance to confront his father in that episode, because it would not have come from him. We’ll get back to this later.

Read Pt 2 here

[basicallyjaywalker]

Do u have a favorite oc?

(Thank you for enabling me JJ)

I love all of my OCs equally but the one i've given the most development is Jackie

I really enjoy doing arcs for OCs and Jackie's is the most finalized. The tl;dr is that a lot of her character focuses on learning independence and developing a sense of self. She is magical and nerdy and kind and will constantly show up in OC writings if I don't control myself

Autism rant under the cut bc when you enabled me you got me on a "was literally ranting to my boyfriend about my ocs earlier so is in a talky mood"

Jackie Fei aka I am putting this girl through the grindhouse of trauma and she's gonna come back better

Jackie is the one who, when I started reworking/rebooting my OCs in 2020 got the biggest change, design, powers, and relationships-wise. Her arc is about learning to define herself and escape her issues with co-dependency.

I am sort of exploring this in my fic Selenelion, which focuses on her relationship with Lloyd (which does play in a lot to her arc) (also shameless plug for the fic it's only two chapters but i'm gonna start working on it again in november) because well... a lot of her co-dependency is there.

Up until post-S7 in the timeline, Jackie latches onto people as sources of strength to an unhealthy degree. She was raised by an oppressive, overbearing caretaker and had her life dictated to her for 18 years. When she tries to escape and gain independence the first time, she gets kidnapped by the Overlord ends up latching onto Garmadon. After Garmadon dies she latches onto Lloyd. It isn't until she and Lloyd have a blowout fight in S7 that she realizes how much she's defined herself using other people. She was Garmadon's Student. She was Lloyd's Girlfriend. Four years ago, she ran away to find who she was, and she still hasn't done it. So she runs away again. Lloyd is fucked up by this but don't worry he'll be fine.

And that ties into her powers. Jackie uses magic as an elemental power, but I want it to be different from other forms of magic in ninjago. Her magic needs a power source to draw on, and the healthiest one is herself, but she does have the ability to draw on others. For example, the Overlord teaches her how to use Dark Matter as a source (bad idea, do not do this, it damages ur mental health) and I've toyed with the idea of Lloyd lending his power to her in battle. Her personal strength is like a muscle, she needs to use it and work on it to grow stronger and relying on other sources doesn't allow her to develop it (which leads to issues when she starts relying solely on Dark Matter in S2, only to lose access to it)

Who Jackie is Post-S7 is a different person and for me it's important she gets that development then because even though I'm a fake fan and haven't finished S8 (I should be soon bc I've been feeling brave) I know her reaction to Garmadon's resurrection and her relationship to Harumi is going to occupy my brain for fifty years, along with how she and Lloyd interact and how their relationship grows in this time (I am determined to give them a healthy romance with a happy ending after a tumultuous start)

None of this is even mentioning the super complicated relationship she has with Wu and Misako at first because her mom... well, her mom Mei is another fascinating character who will be talked about when I talk about my thoughts on the previous generation of EMs at some point

One fun fact about her Post-S7 that I gatekeep but will make appearances is that she curates the Museum of History after she comes back from a long self-discovery journey. She does a lot of research into genealogy and is determined not to let any of the myths, legends, histories, or lore go unremembered (she and Misako and Twyla love to bond over their shared interests). She has an intern named Jenny who goes onto curate the museum after her.

Other general facts:

1. her color scheme is galaxy + green, with purple featuring prominently

2. she's the best at video games of her friends

3. the ninja she has the closest friendship with is Kai, the member of her team she has the closest relationship with ties between Hannah and Roxie

Sorry for the rant, thank you again for enabling me to talk about my OCs I love any opportunity to do so, and hopefully you enjoyed a mini-essay on why I often think about her and why she's up there in terms of my lovelies <3

[donttouchtheneednoggle]

In which Gwen doing blacksmithing nearly ends Arthur through sheer bisexual disasterness

I was inspired by this art 🤩😍😳

Arthur couldn’t find Guinevere. It had been two weeks since she had been crowned queen, and there had been an awful lot for her to learn and adjust to. And while she was handling it admirably as he’d known she would, he knew how oppressive it could all feel at times. So though he hadn’t seen her since lunchtime, he hadn’t gone looking for her, recognising that she probably needed a break. But it was getting late into the night now, and he was starting to feel a little worried.

He'd already done a cursory search of the castle, and come up empty. She was nowhere the queen should be, but he had an inkling where Guinevere would be. And so, he’d donned the blue cloak Merlin had given him long ago, and headed out to the lower town. Sure enough, when he nudged open the door of the forge he was greeted with warmth and light and noise.

“Gwen?” he called round the corner, not wanting to startle her by suddenly appearing. Then, louder, “Guinevere?”

The hammering stopped. “Arthur?”

He took that as his cue to step around the corner.

And stopped dead.

His wife was standing at the workbench, hammer in hand, working on… something. Arthur couldn’t tell what. Because his brain seemed to have ceased functioning.

Guinevere was wearing boots and a pair of loose trousers, tied at the waist with a leather string. She was shirtless, wide strips of white cloth binding her chest. The toned muscles of her stomach and arms were on full display, glistening with sweat in the warm, dim glow of the fire.

“Arthur?”

He realised his mouth was hanging open like a fish and shut it quickly. “Uhmm.” He desperately tried to gather his scattered brain. “I couldn’t find you,“ he managed.

She smiled. “Well now you have.” She held up what she had been working on. “I’m making a dagger for Merlin. He seems kind of down lately. And… it gets a bit much sometimes. It’s nice to be back here.”

He nodded, forcing himself not not get distracted. “Of course. I understand. I’m sorry, maybe I shouldn’t have come. I don’t want you to feel like you’re trapped, or tied to me, or something.”

She shook her head earnestly. “I promise you I don’t. I’d’ve probably lost track of time and worked half the night!”

He nodded dazedly. “Right.” His brain had stopped working again.

Gwen frowned. “Arthur? Are you all right?” Then she looked down at herself .“Oh. Right. This. No sense in getting a dress dirty.” She looked back at him and a mischievous, knowing smile appeared on her face. “Everything all right Arthur?” she asked innocently.

He shifted slightly. “Great,” he managed in a strangled voice.

Still grinning, she set the hammer down and moved swiftly over to him, cupping the back of his neck and kissing him deeply. He wrapped his arms around her bare waist and kissed back eagerly. When she finally broke away she trailed her lips over his jaw and up under his ear, and he gave in and kissed down her neck, tasting the sweat and smoke on her warm skin. She sighed blissfully.

“I suppose it’s not very queenly though,” she murmured.

“How could it be unqueenly when you’re the queen?” he countered.

“A very good point.”

She leaned in again, her warm hands finding the hem of his shirt and slipping under it. He hummed, wrapping her tighter in his arms and burying his face in her neck, breathing her in. “Home?” she asked breathlessly in his ear.

“Home,” he agreed dazedly, then lifted his head and shook it vigorously to clear it. “Sorry. I know how boring it can get.”

“Ah, it’s all part of it. And it’s worth it, to finally be together isn’t it?”

“Definitely,” he murmured, joy filling in his heart.

She ran a hand down his chest. “Anyway, there’s plenty of fun to be had at the castle.”

A delicious shiver went through him. “It’s true.” He shifted awkwardly. “Um, Guinevere?”

She raised her eyebrows. “Yes Arthur?”

“Could I- umm. Next time you come down here could I, uh- come and watch?”

Her eyes widened and her already flushed cheeks bloomed brighter. “Oh! Of course! Yes, you can.” Her voice lowered, trying to sound coy. “I’d like that.” It failed though when she laughed. “You’re hopeless.”

“I know,” he agreed, grinning dopily, too far gone to try and act indignant.

With a bright beaming smile, she stepped away from him and back to the workbench. She cleared away the dagger and her tools, and tugged her purple poncho over her head.

“How did you get past the guards unnoticed?” he wondered aloud as he donned his cloak again.

“Same as you did,” she replied, pulling her hood over her head as she walked back to him. “People only see a queen when they expect to.”

“Ah.” He swung her up into his arms, making her giggle. “Home then, my wife?”

“Home, my husband,” she replied, leaning up to kiss his lips, biting down lightly. “And bed?”

He absolutely did not moan. “And bed,” he agreed.

She moved to kiss the end of his nose where it protruded from the hood. “It’s amazing that we can pass the guards unnoticed looking like a pair of marquees.”

“Ah, but people only see a marquee when they expect to,” he intoned, and she smacked his shoulder playfully. “And I don’t know what you’re talking about, my men are superiorly trained.”

Gwen snickered. “Of course your Majesty.”

“I bet you half of tomorrow’s breakfast that we don’t get past them unnoticed,” Arthur challenged.

Gwen levelled her gaze at him. “Deal.”

………………

They got past them unnoticed.

[infinitethree]

Hello Fates, tis I again. I just wished to inform you that, I can make out some sentences, some words, but more often than not I just hear a veritable mess of sounds. Though I will admit that some words come in clear, but in a language I'm not familiar with. It is most odd, but not my place to press. Maybe I should see if Chat is similar. Hmm. Have a good day.

Theo gets stopped in his tracks by the chorus of voices in his head shouting over each other. He suspects they're trying to figure out what words are clear, but he’s more concerned about the sudden headache he’s been inflicted with.

He’s left a bit off balance from the barrage. "Fuckin'-- shut," he groans, willing his head to stop trying to escape his skull.

Oop Too far? I think so, yeah Sorryyy Theo

He grunts, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes. The sun, which had been warm and inviting all of two minutes ago, now feels oppressive.

This is definitely one of the least fun experiences he’s been 'gifted' by the Observers.

Weirdchamp name, in his books, but hey– he didn't get to name them.

And with that, his day goes from kinda sucky to outright shit.

They shouldn't know about that. Nobody should– not to this extent. He was careful about what he researched or spoke about.

Not even his dad knows. He can’t know, because he would try to stop him.

Theo knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that his dad doesn't plan to live once they’re all gone. But Theo has spent a lifetime honing his skills to keep his stupid, idiot dad alive. If he's there, even if only a little longer, he can drag his dad through the grief.

Family first. No matter what.

Hearing that there are entities who know his goals to that extent…is distressing. More than that, it's insulting.

How dare they imply that he would abandon his dad to his grief? How dare they ask him if he's thought about the consequences of this?

The consequences of turning a blind eye to the future are too high to back down.

"Fuck you," he hisses. Rage curls the edges of his words despite knowing he can't murder who or what dared to ask him that question.

He starts to stalk off. He's going to do literally anything but humor these assholes.

"Do you want to know a secret, Theseus?"

Theo stops in his tracks again. There’s not much that unsettles him, but a cloying sense of wrongness is humming in the back of his head.

This voice isn't the same as the Observers. Who or what ever this one belongs to, they are not to be idly snubbed.

He swallows, but gives a slight nod of his head. He’s not thrilled at being singled out like this, even less so to learn 'a secret'.

And especially not coming off the heels of the last two things he heard.

Even the Fates go quiet, unsure what to make of this.

"Admins," the voice giggles, "don't age like you do! Would you really leave your poor dad and baby brother all alone? You'd break their hearts."

Something in Theo’s chest squeezes at the idea of knowingly damning the two of them to that kind of pain. If Lee does become an admin here, and he really does age differently, then there's no telling how long the two of them would live with that grief.

Sounds like a lie? We'd know, right? There’s no way we wouldn't have noticed by now. …Does Lucid look any older, though? It’s only been like, what, five years? Max? That's nothing. We could ask? No way. If it's true, he'd have too big a reason to get Lee to stay. But if it’s not true, we'd be worrying for nothing. We gotta know more, though. Could ask other people on the downlow? 

"It doesn’t matter," he says. "S' not something I'm fuckin' doing anyway."

The voice laughs. Something about it feels cruel. "Your loyalty is so…deep. But you don’t know anything else, huh?"

He wants to curse them. He wants to tell them to eat shit and die in a ditch. He wants to write this off as something toying with him.

He can’t, though. He keeps his damn mouth shut, because he knows that pissing off something powerful is a one-way ticket to regret and misery.

"God, you're so boring," the voice whines. "It's no fun when you're smart. Not when you're not the one who can figure it all out."

…The contradiction confuses him. He’s boring because he’s smart, but not smart enough? How the fuck does that make sense?

It sounds like the voice blows a raspberry. "You're not the reason I spoke up, anyway. Go run along and tell your dad what a fun chat you've had."

He grits his teeth. Even if he wants to demand more information, doing so is too dangerous.

Instead, he turns on his heel. He needs to talk to his dad– things have just escalated.

Mocking laughter dogs his steps.