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donteattheappleshook · 4 years

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Stone Hearts Chapter 11/13

Here we go, only one more chapter after this and then the epilogue. This one is over 10,000 words so I hope you enjoy it!

Summary:

Emma should have known. She should have known that they couldn’t just go to the underworld and not suffer any consequences. She should have known they’d bring something back with them.

Cannon Divergent after 5x21 Last Rites. No Hyde. No serum. No Evil Queen split. No prophecy. No season 6.

Read from the beginning on Ao3 or FFn because tumblr eats all my italics.

Rated M

Chapter 11

Belle led them to a small, makeshift camp they had set up underneath the Town Hall. Emma had been right, there were tunnels that spread out through the entire town, and the one below Regina’s office was dead center. Ariel explained how there were secret entrances all over Storybrooke, that the three of them had been using them to navigate their way around, to collect supplies, to raid Gold’s shop and even Regina’s vault. Nearly every establishment in the town had an access point.

Emma tried not to think about how creepy it was that Regina had a secret way of getting into any building at any time during the first curse. But it made sense - the Evil Queen would have wanted to make sure she was in complete control of her little prison.

She followed the women, leading Killian along behind her. The whole way he kept casting strange looks at Ariel and Emma couldn’t figure out why. She wondered if perhaps there were new memories emerging, if maybe he was remembering what he had done to her in the Enchanted Forest. She thought they had put their differences aside. Ariel wouldn’t look at him, avoiding his gaze as they made their way to the camp and settled there. She squeezed his hand, trying to reassure him. Old grudges didn’t matter now. Those things had to be put behind them. They had a common enemy now.

“How long have you guys been down here?” Emma asked, looking around. The camp was surprisingly nice and Emma realised that they must have been settled here for a while. Their collection of supplies and the small comforts they’d amassed was impressive. They had stockpiles of food and medicine and even toiletries. There was also a very comfortable looking little pile of blankets and pillows that made up a sleeping quarter, and a makeshift table built out of an old door and books stacked for legs.

Emma shouldn’t have been surprised by the sheer amount of books scattered around the tunnel. Belle was a librarian after all. And, you know… the actual Belle from the Beauty and the Beast. But Emma’s heart started racing as she noticed the massive pile of spellbooks. They were scattered across the table, several open with notes in the margins and dog-eared corners. Belle had been researching - just as she had. Maybe together they could find a solution, learn how to break the curse.

“Tink and I have been here… almost 9 weeks now I think,” Belle told them. “We found Ariel on one of our raids a little over a week ago.”

“I came to visit and couldn’t figure out where everyone had gone,” Ariel explained. “It was like a ghost town. I didn’t know what had happened but then I saw Belle and Tinkerbelle and they told me about the attack. I stayed to help them fight.”

Nine weeks, just over two months. Emma did the math in her head, trying to put together how much time had passed. Weeks and days had become a blur, irrelevant in her life but she thought back. Killian had been taken six weeks after the attack - she’d never forget that date - and then she, Ruby, Henry and David had survived on their own for two more without him, plus the week she’d just spent in captivity… that meant…

“You guys have been here the whole time? Since the attack? Nobody’s found you?” Had it happened? Had they finally found a safe place? A real one?

Belle nodded. “Hardly anyone knows about these tunnels. Those who did have forgotten. Rumple -” Her voice caught. “The Dark One didn’t even know about them.”

“How did you find them?”

Belle shrugged. “I found one by accident once when I was working in the library. I didn’t think it was smart to share their existence. I was planning on finding a way to seal them off, in case a villain ever wanted to make use of them. I’m glad now that I didn’t.” She looked up at Hook who was still holding Emma’s hand. “I was going to ask Killian what he thought, see if he could find a way to destroy them. But then everything happened.”

She looked at him sadly, and Emma realised that maybe Belle had missed him too. Hook however, was still fixated on Ariel, who was looking uncomfortable under his gaze. What was wrong with him? Was it because Ariel had threatened her? Was there more bad blood between them than Killian had told her? Was it enough that even now, buried under the stone around his heart, he remembered, or felt, some sort of animosity?

Emma set her bag down in the middle of the table, reaching in and taking out the food she’d grabbed before leaving the house as well as the other supplies. Killian stood behind her as she did, closer than he had been standing before and she felt the strange sense that he was being protective, watching her back. He didn’t know them. She’d told him to trust them but maybe it would take him time without his memories. She tried not to think of how it warmed her heart a little to know that he was still looking out for her.

“Here,” she said, gesturing at them. “Add these to your stocks. If we’re staying with you then we should at least pool our resources.

“Thank you,” Belle said, and Tink and Ariel collected the supplies and started dividing them into the neat little stacks and towers they had built further along the far wall. Emma started to leaf through some of the books on the table. No wonder she hadn’t been able to find much - Belle had hoarded all the spellbooks in Storybrooke.

“Killian,” Belle started, but the man beside her didn’t react.

“Hook,” Emma corrected, and he caught her eye. She nodded towards Belle and he looked at her. Belle raised a brow but didn’t comment on the name.

“Could you help them please?” she asked. Hook turned back to Emma, hesitant and unsure. He stepped a little closer to her, clearly suggesting he wasn’t planning on leaving her side. Belle smiled a little. “I just want to talk to Emma alone for a moment.”

Hook looked at Emma again and she gave him a small smile. “It’s fine.” He hesitated another moment and then gathered the supplies that were still on the table and headed over to the other women. Emma watched as he awkwardly stood by them and handed them things as they asked for them.

“That’s quite the bodyguard you’ve got there,” Belle commented. Emma nodded.

“I don’t know how it started. The King caught me, kept me in a cell and kept him outside my door as a guard. But… I don’t know… he didn’t act like the others, even from the beginning.”

“How so?”

“He - he listened to me. If I asked him not to touch me or to find out if Henry was safe, he listened, he did it. And then I started telling him stories about me and Killian and he asked to hear more.” Emma frowned, realising how clear it had been from the start that Hook wasn’t like the others, that there was something more human about him than she’d seen in any other stolen person. How had she missed it? How had she let herself be so blinded by her anger and her grief and hatred that she hadn’t seen the bits of this man coming through?

“When did it start?” Belle asked. Emma frowned, trying to think, to see clearly through all of her doubts and denials.

“I think,” she remembered how he reacted the first time she’d seen him, when she’d refused to let him touch her and he’d hesitated, how he’d reacted the next day when she’d gotten angry with him and he’d gone to check on Henry. “I think it was right from the start. I yelled at him and -” An amused, knowing smile crossed Belle’s face. “What?” Emma demanded. Belle pressed her lips together, trying to school her features but doing a poor job.

“Killian’s always had a type, hasn’t he?” she said. Emma frowned at her. “You know, we used to talk about you sometimes, when he would come visit me in the library or on his ship.”

Belle had been staying on the Jolly Roger since they’d come back from the Underworld and her father had woken her from her sleeping curse. It had been one of the few places she’d felt safe from her husband after she learned she was pregnant. Emma and Regina had put up the protection spells themselves. Killian would go there some nights to spend time with her, to talk about books and the Enchanted Forest. But she knew he also went to make sure she was safe. She wondered if that was where she’d hidden when the first attack had happened.

“He told me that the first time he realised he liked you was when you threatened his life.” She smiled a bit and raised an eyebrow questioningly. “He said you tied him to a tree?”

Emma shrugged. “It’s a long story.”

Belle laughed. “The point is, Killian liked you because you were strong and you fought him. You stood up to him and challenged him - not many people have done that, you know.” Emma smiled. She did know that about Kilian. I quite fancy you from time to time, when you’re not yelling at me... Yeah right. “Maybe, this version of him isn’t so different,” Belle continued. “Maybe you yelling at him sparked something, found its way into the feelings that had been locked up. Stranger things have happened.”

“Maybe,” Emma agreed then hesitated. She looked over at where Killian was now standing in front of a stack of books. He ran his fingers over the spines carefully. Belle followed her gaze and smiled curiously. “Something else changed,” Emma said. "Today." She looked back at Belle. “He’s started remembering things.”

“Like what?”

“He knew who Ruby was. He remembered Regina’s apple tree… he remembered his name - sort of.”

“Did anything happen today? Anything that could have triggered it?”

Emma blushed. “I kissed him.”

The smile Belle gave her was understanding and a little sad. “He’s your true love, Emma. Even if he’s buried under darkness and stone. And you’re the product of true love - that’s a powerful combination. Maybe you reached that part of him that’s trapped, helped him break through.”

“Like with Graham,” Emma said quietly to herself, remembering how kissing Graham had sent him on a quest to find his heart, believing he was someone else - he’d been right, she just hadn’t known it then.

“Who?”

“Nevermind.” She didn’t want to get into that particular tragedy. She had enough loss to focus on already. “So what have you found out about the curse?” she asked, looking at the books again. Belle didn’t push her.

“It’s called the Stone Heart curse. It creates a prison around someone’s heart, locking away all their memories and emotions - effectively erasing their personality. In theory it kills the soul and leaves behind a sort of living-dead corpse, a shell that the one who cast it can feed orders into. The cursed are loyal only to that person, They’ll do whatever they ask. I think his cauldron is some kind of conduit. He can use it to communicate with all of them, tell them where to go and what to do.”

Killian came to join them now and Emma couldn’t help the way her body reacted when he walked up to her side and placed a hand on her back, as though it was something he did all the time. “Have you found a way to break it?”

Belle shook her head. “No. You’ve come closer to that than any of us have. The thing I don’t understand is what the King’s purpose is. Why is he doing this? What is the point of creating a living dead army if there’s no war to fight? There has to be more.”

Emma hung her head. “He was looking for me. For my heart.”

Her eyes widened. “Your heart? But I thought your heart was protected.”

“It is. That’s why he kept me prisoner. He said he needed the heart of the product of true love and he wanted me to figure out how to remove it. The way he said it was weird though.” Emma paused, trying to remember the exact phrasing Gold had used, knowing that any details they had could help. “He said he needed 'the heart that belonged to the product of true love’.”

Belle frowned, muttering to herself under her breath. “The heart that belongs to the product of true love.” Her eyes snapped up to Emma’s, shock registering on her face. She dashed across the tunnel - as much as she could in her current state - and headed over to another stack of books.

“What is it?” Emma asked, following. Killian followed with her, like a magnet who was being pulled along.

“I’ve heard that before. It was something I found Rumple looking into before we went to the Underworld. She tried to grab a book but it was weighed down by a few others that were out of her reach. Emma went to help but Hook was quicker, lifting them off with one hand. “Thank you,” Belle said with a little shock in her voice. She headed to the table and sat down, opened the book and flipped through the pages. She stopped, reading over one of them quickly. Her face lit up then, with success and surprise, and then it was replaced with fear and panic.

“This is what he’s doing,” Belle said, turning the book around so Emma could see the pages. “Your heart is the primary ingredient in a spell that will allow him to break the laws of magic.”

Emma’s heart raced. “But that could mean…”

“He could do anything. Anything he wants. Bring people back from the dead, perform magic without a price, live forever… make someone love you.”

Emma’s chest tightened, thinking of how Gold had been helping the King. She looked at the sadness on Belle’s face and reached for her hand. “We’ll save Gold. I know that he’s under the control of the King but if we can get his dagger we can -”

Belle stopped her. “He’s not under the King's control. Rumple has his dagger locked away where no one could ever find it, not even me. He -” she stumbled, her words catching in her throat. “He made a deal with him, of his own will.”

“How do you know?”

“He came to me the day before the attack. He found me on the Jolly and asked me to come back to him. I said no.” Tears were welling in her eyes and Emma’s heart went out to her friend, proud of her strength and her decision to choose herself despite how much it must have hurt to give up on the man she’d loved. “He said I would. That he’d find a way. That somehow, I’d love him again.” Belle’s tears fell. She put a hand over her swollen stomach. “That’s what he wants. To make me and the baby love him.”

“Hey,” Emma said, taking her hand again between her own. “We won’t let him. We’ll figure out how to break this curse and then we’ll find his dagger. We’ll stop him. I promise.”

“He’d also… Emma, he could bring Neal back.” Emma fought against the way her heart raced, against the way a small part of her wanted that, not for her but so that Henry could know his father, so that Killian could see Balefire again. She knew how much his loss had hurt both of them.

But she couldn’t let herself think that way. That kind of thinking made her just as bad as the King and Gold. It wasn’t worth the sacrifice of giving them that kind of power just to bring him back. She shuddered though, fearing what she might be willing to do if it meant bringing Killian back. She reached out for his hand. He was here. He was coming back to her.

“We’ll stop them,” she said again and Belle let out a heavy breath.

“Thank you.” She moved to stand. “I’ll go look through some of the books we found in Regina’s vault. Maybe there’s something more about what’s happening to Killian. Maybe we can find a way to -” She stopped. She’d been in the process of standing, awkward and clearly difficult for her to do from her low seat when suddenly Hook was at her elbow, steadying her, letting her use him for leverage as she got to her feet. She blinked at him. “Thank you,” she said and he nodded, letting her go.

Emma’s heart leapt into her throat. It was another sign that Killian was in there. She’d been worried, still, that maybe some of Hook’s actions had only been because of this new version of him’s apparent affection for her. But Killian had loved Belle, Hook didn’t know her. But he was looking at Belle now with the same protectiveness and openness that Emma saw when he looked at her. She looked at the other woman and knew she’d seen it too.

“Do you want to help us?” Belle asked and Hook cocked his head. “We’re going to look through as many of these books as we can to try and figure out what happened to you.”

“Why?” he asked.

“So we can fix you,” Emma said. Hook looked at her now.

“Am I broken?”

She felt her gut twisting. Shit. Nice job, Emma. Belle stepped back, making a point to look very interested in the book on the table, offering them some privacy. How could she explain this to him? How could she explain that he wasn’t who he thought he was, that there was someone else trapped inside and that she wanted that person back? How did she explain that without hurting him?

“You know how you told me about your dream?” she asked.

“Yes. You were there. And the man.”

“Yeah, that’s right. I think it was a memory. You had all of your memories stolen from you and we want to get them back so that you can remember everything else about your life, who you were before the King made you.”

He frowned, looking at the floor, taking in her words and then looked up at her again. There was that openness again. “Will I still remember you?”

Emma smiled, her eyes watering at the sweetness and the concern on his face. Yes, you’ll remember me, she wanted to scream. You’ll remember who you are and you’ll be the man I love again. She only nodded, worried that her voice would betray her.

“Okay,” he said.

“Okay.” She was going to step away, going to go find a book and get started, but the way he was looking at her kept her where she was. He was still an open book, even now. He looked so worried, so unsure, but still, he trusted her, believed that she wouldn’t wrong him.

He still wasn’t Killian, not yet, but when she got him back - and she would get him back - she wanted to remember this version of him too, keep him in her mind with the other versions of him that she’d been lucky enough to know. And for now, for now this version of him needed her, needed her to believe in him, to protect him, to reassure him that things would be okay despite the risk he was taking.

She took a step towards him, noticed the way that longing returned to his eyes the moment she was close, saw the way his breathing picked up just a fraction. She put her hand on his shoulder, balanced herself as she rose onto her toes and pressed her lips to his cheek. He turned into her touch, the same way Killian always did, and she smiled. He followed her as she pulled away, leaning forward, his hand brushing her arm but not taking it.

He stood there, watching her as she and Belle made their way over to where Ariel and Tink were. “You’re right,” Belle said and Emma glanced up at her. “Something is definitely happening.”

“I’m sorry,” Tink said then. “I didn’t know. But I can see it now. I can see the way he’s looking at you.”

“It’s okay,” Emma assured her. “I get it.” Tink still looked a little ashamed. “Really. I do.” She nodded.

“If it was going to be anybody,” Tink started, “it would be him. I’ve never seen anyone survive the way he does, never seen anyone fight that hard for the people he loves. I’m sorry I doubted him. I just -”

“I know. I miss him too,” Emma said and Tink nodded, her lips pulling into a thin line, fighting the emotion on her face.

“Then let’s get him back,” Ariel said.

Hook joined them and helped them carry as many books as possible to the table. They grabbed everything they thought could be useful. In addition to her spellbooks, Belle had amassed an impressive collection of storybooks. None of them like Henry’s, but novels and fairytales and myths and legends - anything that had some link to magic.

For a brief moment, Emma was worried about whether or not Hook could read but he took a book at random and opened it, getting to work. But he didn’t stop casting glances at Ariel. She didn’t notice, her own head buried in her own book, but Emma did. She wished she knew what memory he had or what information he’d been given that made him so anxious around the mermaid.

“What’s with you?” she whispered to him and he caught her eye. “Why are you glaring at Ariel?”

He continued to stare. “She seems… familiar,” was all he said in answer.

“That’s because you know her - or you did know her,” she tried to explain. He frowned. “She’s one of us,” Emma said. “She’s on our side.” He didn’t look convinced. “Look, you and her… the old you and her had some issues. But you need to ignore that now, okay?”

He relented finally, nodding. They returned to their task, all of them focused and frustrated as they found useless spell after useless spell. She had learned how to freeze a heart, how to crush one, how to control one, how to connect one to another, all sorts of different ways to curse hearts - but nothing about how to free one, how to chip away at the stone.

She was getting antsy. Her leg bouncing rapidly under the table as she continued to be let down by book after book. She felt like she was about ready to scream. They’d already been at it for hours and the closest they’d gotten was a spell on how to draw water from a stone. Unhelpful. She’d also found the note that Gold had refered to. The only way to remove a protected heart, the heart of the product of true love, was for the one who was protected to break the spell. Of course it didn’t say how someone would go about doing that - no, that would be too easy.

She felt a hand fall over her own, looked up to see Hook, his eyes still on whatever page he was reading, but his fingers closing over hers on the table between them. She didn’t even think he’d done it intentionally, like it was a reflex, an impulse, but it calmed her almost instantly, the calluses of his fingertips familiar and the warmth of his skin spreading through to hers. She turned her hand under his and he nearly startled before letting her intertwine their fingers. She smiled. So it had been a reflex.

“I think I need a break,” Belle announced finally and they took that as permission to stand and stretch. Belle looked at her. “You look exhausted.”

“Thanks,” Emma deadpanned, only half joking.

Belle laughed. “I only meant you look like you could use some rest - especially him.”

She gestured towards Hook and Emma took a closer look at him. Belle was right. He was pale and dark shadows were beginning to bloom under his eyes. She remembered how she’d woken to him crying out, loud enough that she could hear him down the hall, how he’d been sweating and tossing and turning when he woke up. They hadn’t had a particularly long day, but it had been a big one, especially for him. It was funny, she thought, she hadn’t remembered ever seeing him look tired before. She hoped it was another sign, another thing that proved he was becoming more human.

“Maybe you’re right,” she agreed. She knew she wouldn’t sleep, regardless of how tired she was, but she wanted him to. She was also pretty sure that he wouldn’t go to sleep unless she went with him. He seemed pretty opposed to leaving her side.

“You should rest too, Belle,” Tink said. Belle started to protest but the fairy gave her a stern look. “Your baby needs you to take care of yourself. Now go. Lie down and read it one of those bedtime stories you’re so fond of and try sleep a little. Ariel and I will keep watch.” Belle agreed but begrudgingly, putting her hand on her stomach and stroking it protectively.

Belle led them to the pile of blankets and pillows they’d converted into a cozy little corner. Killian didn’t protest when Emma rose and pulled him along with her and she worried that maybe he was more exhausted than he was letting on. Maybe all of those nights not sleeping outside her door were catching up with him now.

Belle lay down first, propping herself up against one of the walls and pulling a large book from under one of the pillows. Her Handsome Hero, Emma mused. This must have been the bedtime story Tink had mentioned. She smiled a little, it was fitting that Belle would start reading to her baby before he or she was even born.

Emma lay down next to her and groaned at how nice it felt to lie down. She felt more relaxed than she had in a long time. They were safe - for the time being, a voice in her head reminded her, but she ignored it. They were somewhere that the King didn’t know existed, somewhere Gold didn’t know existed, and they had allies. They weren’t in this alone anymore. And Killian was coming back, with every passing moment he did something else that assured her that she’d find him. She just had to keep digging, keep looking for him, help him find his way back to her.

Hook stood above her looking uncomfortable. There wasn’t room for much more than three people on the pillows and she wondered if he was remembering how she’d sent him away last night… but then, she’d also stayed with him until morning. He looked torn, like he wanted to join her but didn’t know if he was allowed, like he was waiting for permission or a command. She didn’t want to give him a command. She wanted him to decide what he wanted.

She sat up. “Are you gonna join me?” she asked and he looked at her, eyebrows shooting up in surprise for a moment before he nodded. He sat next to her and hesitated for a moment before lying down. He seemed to be doing his best to keep his distance, to avoid touching her. She didn’t like that. She took one of his arms that was folded over his chest and stretched it out on the blanket so that she could lay her head on it. She didn’t think she would sleep but the smell of leather and the familiar feel of his shoulder under her cheek might help.

He hesitated for a moment and then slowly, the arm that she was using as a pillow curled around her, holding her to him. He was still for a long time and Emma listened as his breathing slowed and then evened out. She closed her eyes, listening to his breathing and to Belle’s story as she read aloud in a whisper, trying to find a little rest. It was useless.

She rolled onto her side, facing Belle and froze when she felt Hook move again, rolling onto his side with her and wrapping his other arm around her, pulling her back against his chest. Her heart raced against her ribs. She looked up at Belle who had stopped reading and was looking at them with wide eyes. Emma frowned.

“What is it?” Belle asked, speaking quietly so as not to wake him. Emma took a moment, unsure how to explain the worries that still plagued her. She could barely explain them to herself, they were so confusing, everything about this was confusing.

“I just… I don’t know what’s Killian and what’s Hook. When he does things like this I don’t know if it’s Killian breaking through or if it’s this new person developing… feelings.” It felt strange to say but she couldn’t deny the way that Hook had reacted to her, even before the kiss, before the crack in his heart.

“Maybe it’s both,” Belle said. “I’m pretty sure that any version of Killian would fall in love with you. Maybe Killian breaking through has allowed Hook to care about you on his own, as his own person - but I don’t think that means that Killian is any less there,” she said. Emma nodded and Belle gave her a sympathetic look. “It’s okay to like him like this too, Emma. It’s not betraying Killian to feel something for Hook.”

And there it was. Exactly what she’d been afraid of. Because she did like him like this. Of course she wanted him back - all of him. But she couldn’t fight the growing affection she had for the version of him that was with her now. He was kind and he was good and he cared about her and he was still so very much Killian, despite not having his memories.

She remembered the way she’d had the same battle when she met the shy, nervous deckhand, when she met Captain Hook in the past. Each time, every Killian she met, she couldn’t fight the pull she felt towards him, the connection. And each time it felt like a betrayal. She swallowed, guilt eating at her even now.

Belle reached for her hand. “True love is a powerful thing,” she said. “It transcends everything - time, space, magic, curses. I think that you and Killian are just fated to love each other no matter the circumstances. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Think of it as a gift. Not everyone gets to experience love like that.”

Emma nodded, some of the tightness in her chest lightening. She was right. She couldn’t imagine a version of Killian she couldn’t love. She’d known him at his darkest, both when they first met in the Enchanted Forest and when he was under the power of the dagger. But she still loved him. And now, this version was no different. He’d had the darkness inside of him but he’d fought it - he’d fought it for her.

She took hold of his hand that was splayed over her waist, pulled it up to her chest and held it there between her own. No matter the time, the place, the circumstances - she loved him and she would always love him. She just needed him to remember that he loved her.

Belle grunted sifting and arranging pillows around herself, grumbling that she could never get comfortable anymore. Emma smiled, remembering the hell it had been to sleep when she was in the later stages of her pregnancy with Henry. She felt a pang in her stomach thinking about him now, about how much she missed him, how she hoped he was safe. She needed to find a way to break this curse, to get back to him and make him forgive her. She’d lost him once, when she was young and too afraid to fight for him. She wouldn’t lose him again.

Emma frowned, watching as Belle shifted again, thinking of Henry… she froze. She could feel the blood rushing from her face. Shit. Shit. “How long did you say you’d been here again?” she asked. Belle looked at her, frowning.

“A little over two months,” she answered. Shit. She looked back at Hook behind her, tried to do the math in her head. When she looked back at Belle she had another one of those understanding, sympathetic looks on her face. “How late are you?” she asked.

She didn’t even know. She’d lost track of all sense of time and what was normal and what was human in the weeks that had passed since the attack. She tried to think of everything that had happened since, how exhausted she was all the time, the way her mood swung from one extreme to another, the fluttering feeling she’d gotten in her stomach, thinking it was pain or guilt or grief - she’d fainted in the hospital a few days ago. Fuck. She’d chalked it all up to stress, up to a reaction to the absolute hell she’d been living in. But what if it wasn’t just that?

“Late enough,” she answered.

Her heart was racing, her ears ringing, she couldn’t catch her breath. She couldn’t do this again. Not alone, not without Killian. She sat up, shrugging Hook’s arms from her, feeling claustrophobic. This couldn’t be happening. Not now, not here. Not when everyone she loved was slowly being taken away from her.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Belle tried to sooth her. “Believe me, I understand.” Emma looked at her, tried to calm her pounding heart as Hook stirred behind her. He rolled onto his back but didn’t wake. Belle settled her, told her to breathe and slowly, Emma’s hands stopped shaking. She thought of all the times she’d put herself in danger, the reckless lack of regard she’d had for her own life since the King arrived. And now to know it might not have been just her life she was risking…

“I can’t think about it,” she said, doing everything in her power to push the thoughts away. She didn’t even know if she was pregnant. And she couldn’t be right now. There was too much - it was too much. She looked at where the man next to her still slept. “I can’t do this alone,” she said, turning to Belle.

“You won’t. You have us. And you'll have him. I promise.” Belle frowned at Killian then and Emma couldn’t read her expression.

“What?” she asked.

“Do you think he knew?” she said and Emma’s brows shot up. “Killian, I mean.”

“Why?”

“I just - I know the love you can have to your baby before it’s even born. I have it now. I’m sure you had it with Henry. The love between a parent and their child, that’s true love in its purest form. If he knew… then he’d be fighting his way back to two true loves - that’s a powerful pull. Enough to break a curse.” Belle looked at Killian again, tilted her head. “And even now, he’s so protective of you…”

Had Killian known? Had he figured it out before she had? She wouldn’t put it past him. He was a very perceptive man. And he wouldn’t have said anything, not in the state she was in then - he knew her, he knew she couldn’t handle this, not now. But he’d protected her, kept her safe, kept her healthy… He was continuing to do it now, even buried under rock and darkness.

Later, when Emma had had a bit of time to come to grips with the possibility of being a mother again, and to rise above the panic and the fear that possibility brought with it, Belle asked her how she felt about it.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, do you want to be pregant? Do you want to have another child? Are you happy?”

That was a hard question. If she’d been asked two months ago she’d have said yes. Of course, yes. She loved Killian, she knew he wanted this, she wanted it with him. They were in love, happy, together. But now, now she didn’t know. She was too afraid of having to do it alone, too afraid that they wouldn’t defeat the King before this kid showed up and then what kind of world would that be for her to raise it in?

“I don’t know.”

Belle nodded. “I understand,” she said, her hand coming to her stomach. “But, life goes on doesn’t it? Despite everything, all the horribleness that gets thrown at us, it’s still life. We need to seek out the good and hold onto it or we’ll lose ourselves to the bad.”

Emma nodded. She tried to think of how she’d feel if this wasn’t happening now. She was happy. It was a confused, complicated kind of happy, one that brought with it more anxiety than joy, but she was happy. She looked at the man laying next to her, the one who had protected her since she’d met him. She loved him so much that it hurt. She loved them both and she needed to do whatever she could to keep this version of him safe and save Killian. She needed Killian to share this with her, knew how much it would mean to him, how much he wanted it. Emma reached out, brushed his cheek gently.

“Come back to me,” she begged for what felt like the hundredth time. She lay her head down on his chest, wrapped her arm around him and held him tight. “Come back to us.”

***

They were woken later by Ariel shaking her shoulder gently. Emma blinked up at her, wondering what time it was, how long she’d slept. “What is it?” she asked and a playful smirk crossed Ariel’s face.

“Want to go on a raid?” she asked. Emma looked up, Belle and Tink were sitting at the table again, discussing something intensely.

“A raid where?” Emma asked, sitting up slowly, trying not to wake Hook.

“I found something.” Emma’s heartrate picked up, feeling suddenly very awake. Ariel smiled. “One of the books made mention of a magical object that could break any curse. A dagger that can sever magic from an afflicted person’s body.”

Holy shit, this was really something! Something that could help them, could maybe free Killian, free her parents, free everyone. She leapt up, jostling Hook as she did and he bolted to a seating position, looking between the two women. She ignored the way he wrapped a protective arm around her, shielding her from whatever threat he thought might have woken him.

“Where is it?” Emma asked, brushing Hook’s arm away and standing. He stood with her.

Ariel’s smile widened. “On the Jolly Roger.”

“Wait, what,” she demanded, shocked and confused. “Killian had it?”

Ariel shook her head. “Not Killian, Blackbeard. When he had possession of the ship he hid treasure all over it. I remember seeing a dagger that looked exactly like the one described in the book. I don’t even think he knew what it was, just another prize.”

“What are we waiting for?” she asked. “Let’s go!” Hook moved to follow her and she hesitated, not sure if he would be a help or a hindrance, not sure what was going on between him and Ariel, but also not wanting to be separated from him - not again. Ariel must have seen her hesitation.

“Bring him,” she said. “Maybe the Jolly Roger will help spark some memories. And,” she hesitated, like she felt bad about her next words. “He knows how they think. If we run into any shells he could help.”

Emma turned to him. “Will you come with us?” she asked. He nodded, took her hand. She smiled. “Good.”

The tiny, hesitant smile he gave her in return was familiar and made her heart race even now. She would be careful, she promised herself. She had two people to protect now. But she needed to go, had to go if there was a chance that this dagger could save him. She nodded for Ariel to lead the way.

“Be careful,” Belle said as they headed to the stockpiles and armed themselves. Emma was happy to find a gun. She could use a sword but at the end of the day, a gun was familiar and more reliable. She tucked it into the back of her jeans. She tried not to smile as Hook found a sword and secured it to his hip.

“Take care of her,” Ariel told Tink.

Belle frowned, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’m not a child,” she said.

“No, but you’re carrying one,” Tink reminded her. She still didn’t look pleased.

“We’ll take the tunnels,” Ariel told her as they headed down in the opposite direction of the way they’d come in this morning. “If we magic there in broad daylight we could draw their attention.” Broad daylight? Had they slept all night?

“There’s an entrance that comes up in the warehouse,” she continued. “If we’re quick, and careful, we should be able to stay hidden through the covered docks, climb down to the water and swim to the Jolly Roger.” Emma wanted to groan. Of course the mermaid would suggest swimming. At least it wasn’t winter.

They made their way through the tunnels until they reached what Ariel said was the right exit. Thankfully Storybrooke wasn’t a very big town and Ariel seemed to know her way well enough. They came up through a trap door in the harbormaster’s office, making sure to crack it open and be sure nobody was around before climbing through.

“Be careful. They usually have three guards to each post,” Emma said.

“Four,” Hook corrected and she turned to him. “Four guards. Three visible and one hidden. For backup. Or to deliver a message back.” She raised a brow at him, not only was that the most he’d spoken yet, but she was surprised at how much he knew, she’d somehow forgotten he was one of them so recently. He only shrugged.

“Okay, four. Do you know where they are?” she asked. He smiled and it was the most Killian-like smile she’d seen since she met him, full of mischief and a little cocky. He nodded.

“They guard the shore, not the water.”

That meant they were behind them. They wouldn’t have to face any of the shells if they avoided making enough comotion to draw their attention. Emma smiled at him and he looked so proud it made her smile more.

Carefully, they made their way down to the edge of the water and ditched their boots. Emma tried not to make a sound as the freezing cold water hit her. She could handle this. The Jolly wasn’t far off, maybe a few hundred feet. She was a strong swimmer and so was Killian and, well, Ariel was a mermaid so they should be fine. They allowed her a moment to get used to the cold, to lose the heaviness in her limbs and be able to breathe easily again before they started making their way to the Jolly.

They reached the side of the ship and grabbed hold of the nets that hung down it’s side, starting the slow, steady climb onto the deck. Hook climbed expertly to her annoyance, occasionally reaching out to steady her with his hand on her back when she lost her balance on the uneven terrain that moved every time she reached up. He was doing it one handed too.

She was reminded of the beanstalk, of how they’d climbed together then, how this wasn’t so different. Both of them on a quest to find a magical object that would reunite her with those she loved. Killian was still Hook then, still someone who had only just chosen her over the evil he’d to whom he'd promised his allegiance. She knew better now though. She could trust him. And she would.

They finally made it on deck, Emma taking just a moment to flop down on the wood, exhausted. Hook reached it just after her, smiling down from his spot standing next to her head. He reached his hook down and she grabbed it, let him haul her up to her feet.

“We should split up,” Ariel said. “Search the ship. Blackbeard would have hidden it well. He didn’t like anyone coming near the things he’d stolen. Especially anything that could be valuable.”

Emma nodded, and Ariel suggested she start with the deck and Emma with the captain’s cabin since she was the one here most familiar with it at the moment. It was understood that Hook would come with her. Ariel said she’d start with the healm, knowing that Blackbeard had a habit of hiding things where he could keep them close.

“Are you sure you’ll be alright by yourself?” she asked.

Ariel brushed her concerns off. “If anything happens I’ll jump overboard. They won’t find me in the water. I can swim away or stay under until they give up.”

Emma agreed reluctantly and she and Hook made their way carefully down below deck. She felt safer now that they weren’t out in the open, but she still worried for Ariel out there alone. They were in the galley, the crew’s sleeping quarters to the left and Killian’s room to the right. She figured his room would be the best place to start.

Hook was looking around with a strange expression on his face. It was the same look he’d had when they were in their home, in Regina’s office. Like he was trying to put the pieces together but couldn’t. She hoped it felt familiar, hoped it would spark something.

She led him towards his room, only making it halfway down the narrow hall when Hook shushed her, his whole body going stiff. He reached for his sword.

“Someone’s on deck,” he said. She heard it then, the creaking of the boards above them. Her heart leapt into her throat, her body suddenly on high alert. He was right, she could hear it, footsteps above them. Not Ariel’s, the helm was at the bow of the ship, the sounds were coming from the stern, but they were making their way to the front quickly.

“Are they usually on the ships?” she asked, her heart racing, hoping he’d have an idea of how many people they were facing.

He shook his head, “Never.”

Oh crap, she thought as she realised - They were looking for him. If they’d suddenly posted guards to the Jolly Roger then that meant that they were expecting him to come back, maybe expecting her to bring him back. She should have expected this, should have seen it coming. They needed to get off the ship. They needed to get to Ariel, save her before she was caught unawares.

“Hurry,” she said. “We need to help her.”

He jumped to action, heading back to the stairs and she rushed after him. They climbed back up on the deck, hiding for a moment in the stairs to try see how many there were. She could see three. Hadn’t he said four? That meant there was another somewhere.

She motioned to two of them, indicating that he should take them on while she took the third. She should have grabbed a sword. She couldn’t use her gun now, it would draw too much attention. Stupid. She thought. How had she been so stupid? Hook nodded and headed up first. She followed after him.

He cut down the first before he had time to make a sound. He was rounding on the second as Emma tackled the third, knockin him to the ground and whacking him in the head with the butt of her gun as hard as she could. His head fell against the wood with a hard thump. She looked back up and saw Hook standing over the second shell. She almost smiled before she heard the scream.

Ariel. She and Hook cast a glance at each other before running off towards the sound. When they reached it there were two more, each holding one of her arms as she struggled in their grasp. Emma charged, gun raised, they’d been found out now anyway. She took a shot, getting one in the shoulder and wounding her enough that she flew back with the force of the bullet.

She kept her distance as she circled the second one, keeping her back to the railing, trying to get a shot but he kept Ariel between them as a shield. She heard a sixth running towards them, saw as Hook whirled around to take him down, their swords clashing. But Hook was a better fighter, he was always the better fighter. She nearly had her shot.

“Emma watch out!” Ariel screamed and she barely had time to follow her gaze to the woman she’d shot down, aiming her own gun straight at Emma’s heart. She heard the shout of Hook’s ‘no’ echoing across the water, heard the crack of the bullet leaving the chamber. She waited for the impact but before it could come he was there, throwing himself between her and the bullet.

“Killian!” she screamed as he was thrown back by the force of it, falling over the railing and crashing into the water below. She didn’t even know if she screamed, she didn’t think, just threw herself over the edge after him. She hit the icy water, ignoring the way it constricted her lungs and numbed her limbs. She opened her eyes, searching. Where was he, where the fuck was he?

She found him, sinking deeper, his eyes shut, his body lifeless, blood turning the water around his stomach red, seeping out into the darkness around him. She swam, kicked and dived, her lungs screaming at her, her eyes burning from the salt. Just get to him. She couldn’t lose him again. Not now, not like this.

She reached him, wrapping her arm around his chest, under his arms and slowly making her way up to the surface. But he was too heavy. She had nothing to push off of and she was running out of air. The surface was too far away. She kept pushing, kept kicking but she knew she wouldn’t make it.

If she hadn’t been underwater she would have laughed when she saw Ariel dive in beside them, saw her spot them and swim over. Arielgrabbed hold of one of Hook’s arms and Emma grabbed the other. Together, they heaved him up.

Emma gasped as they broke the surface, not even taking a second to appreciate the air in her lungs because Hook hadn’t taken a breath. She leaned back, holding him to her chest, keeping his face out of the water. She put her fists to his sternum and squeezed harshly, a desperate, relieved sound leaving her when he spit out water, coughed and gasped desperately for breath.

“Emma,” Ariel said, getting her attention. “Can you get us back to the tunnels?”

She nodded, focusing, struggling as she tried to balance calling on her magic, stretching it out to include Hook and Ariel, and focusing on keeping herself above water, on not panicking at the fact that Hook was still shot, still bleeding out, that he wasn’t out of the woods yet. It took a moment but the white smoke surrounded them and suddenly they collapsed to the ground, soaking wet, in the middle of the camp.

“What happened?” Belle shouted, she and Tink rushing to their sides. Both of them turned their attention to Hook. He’d stopped coughing, his breathing coming in shallower and shallower bursts. Emma didn’t answer, let Ariel explain. She had to save Hook.

You idiot, she thought. She wanted to scream at him. Why would you do that! He’d jumped in front of a fucking bullet for her, had nearly drowned, had nearly left her. She brought her hands to his stomach, over the wound there. She tried to rein in her panic at the amount of blood that stained her shaky hands, flowing out of him freely and quickly with each beat of his heart. He groaned at her touch but it was weak.

Emma shut her eyes, focused on him, on Hook, Killian, whoever he was. It didn’t matter who she was saving. She needed them both. She loved him, all of him, and she focused on that love, let it pour out of her heart and into her blood, let it course through her veins and into her skin where she touched him. A golden glow shone there and she opened her eyes, watched as some of the paleness left his face, as his breathing evened out, the blood slowing.

She lifted her hands, pulled open his shirt and vest so that she could look at the wound. It was gone. Not even a scar left. The only evidence it had been there at all was the blood that was slowly rolling off his stomach with the water. She broke down, finally let her fear and the fact that he’d almost died again crash over her. She fisted her hands in the open collar of his shirt and bent over him, let her forehead fall against his chest as a sob wracked her body. He was alive. He was alive. He was still here.

She felt his arm come up around her, felt his hand rub soothing, and hesitant up her back and she remembered she was angry with him. How could he have been so careless, so reckless with his life? How could he have been so stupid? He’d nearly died, he’d nearly left her again. She wouldn’t have survived it. And now she wasn’t the only one who needed him anymore.

She stood, storming off under the guise of wanting to wash the blood off her hands. She’d seen some wipes in one of the stockpiles and she found them, ripping the packet open and rubbing aggressively at the stains on her skin. There was so much of it. She’d almost lost him. She heard him coming up behind her but she didn’t turn around.

“Thank you,” he said and she tensed. She didn’t want his thanks. She wanted him to not be a fucking idiot and throw himself in front of guns for her. She didn’t answer him, kept working on cleaning her hands. “Did I do something wrong?” he asked. She felt the fury rising up inside of her, she couldn’t stop herself, she whirled on him.

“Yes, you did something wrong!” she snapped, anger taking the place of the fear and the pain that seeing him like that had caused. Anger was easier, anger didn’t hurt as much. “How could you do something so stupid, so dangerous?” she demanded. “You almost got yourself killed!” He looked down at his feet, worried the end of his hook. She stared at him, panting in her rage, waiting for him to say something, something she could yell at him for again.

He looked at her and her breath caught in her throat. She knew that look. He was looking at her the way Killian always looked at her, the way he looked at her before she let him in, before she admitted she loved him, after he admitted he loved her. Her anger faded away, snuffed out by the affection and the dedication in his expression. It was overwhelming after not having been looked at like that for so long.

“I couldn’t let them hurt you,” he said and her chest tightened. “Not you.” He stepped forward, always hesitant, always unsure. “I - I don’t understand it but,” he frowned, his face screwing up under the effort of trying to find the words. “You make my chest hurt,” he said and it was her turn to frown. “You make my chest hurt and my stomach twist and when you’re far away it hurts more.” He reached out, brushed her arm, let it trail down to her hand where he wrapped his fingers around hers. “When I touch you it stops hurting. I don’t want to let go.” He squeezed her fingers. “I couldn’t let you get hurt. I don’t know - I don’t know what I’d do if you were gone.” Emma looked into his eyes and was nearly knocked back by the emotion there. “I need you,” he finished.

It was a clumsy declaration, an awkward explanation. Killian had always been good with words, she was usually the one to stumble over her feelings. He didn’t understand what he was feeling but it didn’t matter, she did. He loved her. This version of him loved her, Hook did, and he had risked his life for her, to protect her. And she’d yelled at him. He loved her. She could feel tears stinging her eyes. Belle was right, any version of them, in any universe, they would find each other, they would love each other.

She reached for him, brought his lips down to hers and kissed him. She kissed him to say thank you, she kissed him to say she was sorry, and she kissed him to say she loved him - in a way that he would understand. His arms came around her as he pulled her close, holding her so tightly she could barely breathe but she didn’t care as his lips moved over hers with an intensity and a rightness that had been missing from their last kiss.

She felt it when it happened, felt the light burst from between them, the shock of magic that blew out, surged through her and filled the room, scattered out beyond the walls and out into the world. She stumbled back, knocked over by the force of it. She held on to him as he tumbled with her, trying to steady herself. When she looked at him again it was Killian looking back at her.

“Swan?” he said.

Emma let out a sob, throwing herself at him with so much force that it knocked him back a step. He caught her, letting out a surprised ‘oomph’ when she pressed her lips to his again, kissing him over and over to make sure he was real. He was here. He was back. He’d come back to her.

“I knew you’d do it, Emma,” he said when she released him so that she could wrap her arms around him, tuck her head under his chin and feel him pull her close, feel his fingers run through her hair. “I knew you’d find me.”

They turned as the others came running, looks of shock and excitement and bewilderment on all their faces. She released him but grabbed his hand, not ready to let him go just yet.

“What happened?” Ariel asked, looking between the two of them.

“We did it,” Emma said, not able to keep the happy laughter from bubbling up in her voice. “We broke the curse!”

“How?” Tink asked.

“True love’s kiss," Belle smiled. "The most powerful magic in the world.” She stepped forward, pressed her lips to Killian’s cheek. His ears went red. “It’s good to have you back, Killian.”

“Is it really you?” Tink asked and Killian smiled at her.

“Aye, Tink, it’s really me.”

She jumped forward, slamming into him and throwing her arms around him, squeezing him tight before remembering herself and stepping back, looking embarrassed.

“This is wonderful news,” Ariel said. “I’m so glad you figured it out.” And with that, she plunged her hand into his chest and ripped out his heart.

#cs #captain swan #cs fanfiction #captain swan fanfiction #cs canon divergence #captain swan canon divergence #cs angst #captain swan angst #cs ff #captain swan ff #stone hearts #cs fanfic #captain swan fanfic

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artificialqueens · 5 years

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Paper Hearts Chapter 5 (Branjie) -- meggie

A/N: I’ve changed to using male pronouns for Brooke and female for Vanjie because it felt more natural. I hope the switch isn’t distracting!

A huge thank you to Evan, my conspiracy partner in crime. I buy 100% of your theories and live for Nancy Drew nights, babe. Thank you for being you and for letting me borrow one of your theories. ;) Thank you to pinkgrapefruit for taking a look at this before anyone else and telling me I was on the right track and to writworm42 for giving it the final once-over.

This chapter is dedicated to all the beautiful souls on the Branjie Discord because every single one of you lights up my life on the daily. Who else can I geek out with about THAT LIVE at 11 p.m. and theorize with at 11 a.m. when I’m supposed to be teaching America’s youth? TL;DR: you guys are the best and I’m so glad we’ve made our little family.

And to all of you, for reading, liking, reblogging, and commenting. Let me know what you think either here or on my personal blog @artificialmeggie. My ask box is always open and I LOVE hearing from you. You make this otherwise useless hobby of mine worthwhile. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Enjoy Chapter Five: In which Brooke regrets telling Nina, asks Vanjie what it all means, and receives an offer he can’t refuse.

It’s halfway through Monday before Brooke starts to regret telling Nina.

He and Vanessa spend Saturday talking and kissing and “getting to know each other.” Production takes them to a movie on Sunday, so they hold hands under the cover of darkness in the theater and hidden under Vanjie’s hoodie in the van.

No one really seems to be any the wiser. Silky and Nina watch them with sidelong glances, Silky through narrowed, cynical eyes, and Nina with her Disney character smile and the excitement of a mother watching her child flourish and blossom for the first time.

Brooke guesses he can’t exactly hold that against her—Nina has been like a surrogate drag mother to him, and this is a pretty big step forward for Brooke Lynn, who until this point was pretty sure he was going to die alone in his apartment and be devoured by his cats.

He’s an optimist.

What he can and absolutely will hold against Nina is choosing both him and Vanessa to be on her team for the Diva Worship challenge.

(Although Brooke will never complain about working with Nina because he adores her. Just call him Delano.)

And Brooke isn’t mad about working with Vanjie, but they had decided (together. After many shared kisses and touches) that it may be better to keep things under wraps for now. They both know that eventually this thing between them—whatever it is—will have to be revealed to the other girls, but Brooke is hopeful they can get to the top seven or eight before it becomes an issue.

Not to mention that it’s probably best they keep their distance. It will be easier to keep their heads on straight that way. Easier to not get distracted. Just a better situation all around.

(If he’s being completely honest, he had said all this while Vanessa nibbled at his neck and run her hands under Brooke’s shirt and hummed her consent against Brooke’s lips.)

But before Vanjie had left for the night, Brooke paused and pulled away and said, “Seriously. We can’t let this get in the way.”

Vanessa had smirked a little, but nodded. “You right. When I beat you I want it to be because I beat you, not ‘cause you were distracted by all this.” Then she’d taken Brooke’s hands and run them down her body until they’d landed on her hips and they’d started kissing again, long and deep and languid.)

Ballet training is about discipline, and normally Brooke has that in spades. But when Vanessa is around, all bets are off. He wants to touch her, hug her, kiss her. He longs to pull her into his lap, press his mouth against the sensitive pulse point just under her ear, and suck gently, like he’d done countless times over the weekend after he’d discovered the way it made Vanjie’s breath hitch in her throat.

But Brooke is a Professional™, and no amount of animal magnetism that draws him to Vanessa will distract him from his main goal: the crown, the title, the $100,000 he has earmarked for charity. The knowledge that he actually fucking did it. That he won the biggest pageant of his life. That he’s worthy.

There are no second chances on Drag Race for girls like him, the polished, poised, and perfect ones, the ones who should win the first time around, and Brooke knows he has to get this right on the first go. No. Excuses.

No distractions.

So. He isn’t pressed about working with Vanjie, but he doesn’t think it’s fair that he’s essentially performing two challenges in the same go, even if it’s by his own making. Because fighting the temptation to touch Vanessa is proving to be one of the most difficult things he’s encountered so far. Even though he knows it’s for the best.

Luckily Nina sees it fit to assign Brooke the role as her co-host and give Vanessa a role of her own, and Brooke sighs in relief. He’s more than happy to play second fiddle to Nina, feed off her energy, banter. That part will be easy. Finding ways to treat Vanessa like just a good Judy for the next twenty-four hours… That might not be so simple.

*****

Silky’s on their team too. Which is fine. Silky is good off the cuff. Silky will make the best of the challenge, even though she’s working with Ariel, and their relationship is more than strained after last week’s blow up. But they’re fine. They’ll be fine.

Brooke constantly feels eyes on him, and he knows they almost certainly belong to Dr. Ganache, watching him, judging him.

They fly through the challenge. He and Nina banter and it’s easy and wonderful; their years of friendship pay off again. Silky and Ariel sound great when they do their music number, any drama from last week cast aside in Britney’s name. And then there’s Vanjie…

Vanessa performs her exorcism on Yvie and Mercedes, and Brooke nearly ruins his makeup because he’s laughing so hard. And it’s that personality, the sense of humor, the sheer wit and ability to let go and be human (flawed and brilliant and totally, completely beautiful) that Brooke feels himself so attracted to.

“You messaged me,” Vanjie had said on Saturday when they were lying together in Brooke’s bed, the lengths of their bodies pressed together, her fingertips tracing the outlines of Brooke’s daisies with the lightest of touches. “Remember? Last year?”

Brooke had nodded. “When you were eliminated. I thought you should have stayed. I remember.”

“You were so nice.” Vanessa had kissed him then, soft and sweet. Innocent. Like (almost) all of their kisses had been over the weekend. “People were being nice to me because of the meme, but you were… I don’t know. It was different. Like you already saw Jose and not just Vanjie.”

“I’m surprised you remember,” Brooke had admitted, propping his head in his hands and looking down at Vanessa. “I’m sure I wasn’t the only one who messaged you.”

“No,” Vanjie had confessed. “But you were the only one that stood out.”

“Damn, I must be a better writer than I thought.”

“Sure…” She’d drawled. “Also I thought you were cute.”

“Then why didn’t you message me back?”

“I never said I was smart, Mary.” Vanjie had shrugged. “If I knew what kind of kisser you were, maybe I would have.”

Brooke had covered Vanessa’s body with his own after that, and slotted their mouths together, and time had slipped by while they kissed and caressed and whispered secrets into one another’s skin.

Brooke has just started on his third makeup wipe when Vanessa saunters up to him at the mirror. “You be lookin’ like Jinkx Monsoon in that red hair today, Miss Brooke.”

They bump hips playfully. “I was just channeling a winner,” Brooke says, carefully picking the Pros-Aide from his eyebrows with the wipe. “Don’t want a repeat of last week.”

“Mmm. Made me wanna kiss you real bad.” Vanjie’s voice is low, barely audible even to Brooke, and it sends shivers down his back and raises goosebumps on his arms.

Brooke pauses, face still half-smeared with makeup, and places his palms on the counter. Vanessa follows suit, twisting their pinkies together. He knows he’s imagining it, but to Brooke all the background noise of the Werk Room fades to nothing. Silky’s boisterous laugh disappears, Ariel’s incessant vocal runs dissipate… All he hears is the pounding of his heart in his ears and the rush of breath in and out of his lungs that burn for Vanjie with every inhale.

“Hey, guys!” Nina drops her own package of makeup remover wipes on the counter to Brooke’s right, shattering the moment and causing Vanessa to pull her hand away suddenly.

Brooke starts at the lack of contact, and he misses it immediately, but he sighs.

No distractions.

“Great work today,” Nina says sincerely. “Both of you. You were hilarious, Vanessa.”

Vanjie gives Nina a tight-lipped smile and turns to Brooke, pulling him into a hug. “Come to my room after dinner,” she whispers into his ear. “And don’t chicken out this time.”

Brooke nods and watches as Vanessa rejoins Silky and A’keria across the room. Then he sighs heavily and looks at Nina.

“Was it something I said?” Nina asks, concern painted over her features. “I really meant it! She was great!”

Brooke just laughs. “Girl, I love you, but you really do have the worst timing.”

*****

They have dinner together in the conference room (with Silky, A’keria, and Nina; totally innocent, even with Vanessa’s bare foot rubbing against Brooke’s ankle under the table), then Brooke brushes his teeth and waits the agreed-upon fifteen minutes before he ventures into the hall and knocks on Vanessa’s door.

She answers almost immediately and pulls him in by the collar of his hoodie and crashes their lips together in a rough greeting kiss.

“Hey, papi,” he says when she pulls away with a quiet moan.

“Hi,” she echoes, palms landing flat on his chest. “Bitch, I been wanting to do that all damn day.”

“I know. Me too.”

“You got me fucked up, Brock,” Vanessa says, running a hand through her short hair and turning towards the bed. “Okay so. So… Okay. We just can’t work together anymore.”

He nods. “I told you. It’s just better that way.”

She’s pacing the room, nervously rubbing her hands on her shorts, occasionally shaking her hands out when she starts to speak.

One of his favorite things about her, he’s noticed already, is the way she talks with her hands. He’d asked her once, in the middle of a diatribe, if she would still be able to speak if he held her arms behind her back.

She’d merely raised an eyebrow, told him she was kinky, and offered to let him find out. Which had made him blush and change the subject rather quickly because too many offers like that and he was going to take her up on it. And that kind of control, he can’t afford to lose right now.

“Whatever this is,” she mutters, waving her hands wildly, “we gotta keep it separate from the competition.”

“What is this,” he responds before he can stop himself. “Exactly?” He knows it’s asking a lot. It’s far too soon for them to have this conversation, but in the microcosm of Drag Race, everything seems to be moving at warp speed. Truth be told, nothing’s ever felt as firm as whatever this is between him and Vanessa. Putting a name on it, well… It just seems like that natural next step.

Plus that’s just how he operates. He’s an all-in kind of girl.

Vanessa stops pacing and looks at him. “It’s whatever you want it to be, baby.” She shrugs. “We can just fuck around and never speak after this, we can… Shit, I don’t know.”

“Is that what you want?”

“I don’t know what I want for breakfast most days.” Vanjie shakes her head and smiles a little. “But I know I like you… A lot. And I like kissing you a lot. You’ve made being here easier and I don’t want that to end any time soon so…” She shrugs. “Whatever that means to you, Mary.”

“I like you a lot, too,” he says and grips her chin and presses his lips to the corner of her mouth, testing the waters, waiting to see how she responds.

She melts into him, body folds like origami against his sturdiness, and he uses his other hand to catch her underneath her elbow as he probes deeper into the crevices of her mouth.

This is familiar now. After their weekend spent cuddling in bed, he knows every inch of her mouth, recognizes her taste. His lips are familiar with the way hers move against his (and what a spectacular way they move). Less familiar is he with the way she grips his back, fingernails digging into the muscle that ripples beneath his t-shirt, holding on for dear life; the way she moves to straddle his thigh, the semi-hardness of her already evident in her shorts.

They could… It’s just after nine. Room checks aren’t for another hour and a half…

Desire stirs in his stomach and he shifts and reaches for her thighs, lifting her in one swift motion so her legs are wrapped around his waist, and carries her backwards to the bed as she presses gentle, airsoft kisses into his jawline.

Brooke lowers them both down softly, careful to shift his weight onto his knees and not on her as he joins her in bed. “Is this okay? We can stop anytime. Just say the word. I’ll listen, all right?” he asks, desperate for her to confirm, to beg him to continue.

“If you don’t stop talking and kiss me, I swear to god, Brock…” As if to prove her point, she tilts her hips upwards, right into where he’s most sensitive and yearning for her, and his breath catches in his throat as she grips his neck and pulls his face down to hers.

He reaches for the drawstring on her shorts, finally ready to realize every dream he’s had for the past week, when there’s a knock at the door. Vanessa pulls away and glances at the door, confusion written across her delicate features.

“Vanj? You in there? It’s Silk. I got one of the PAs to go get some snacks from the Walmart!”

“Shit. Shit.” Vanjie scrambles out from under Brooke, tugging at her shorts to cover the obvious bulge, rubbing at her lips to diffuse the redness, both to no avail.

“Ignore her,” Brooke whispers.

“Nah, she won’t go away,” she replies, running a hand through her hair. “We just… Look, turn the TV on, okay? We were watching a movie.”

Brooke Lynn sits back against the headboard (and pulls a pillow into his lap) as he flips on the TV and watches Vanessa open the door to reveal Silky standing in the hall, holding a reusable shopping bag.

“It’s not a lot,” the larger queen says as she barrels into the room, “But I got gummy bears and Pringles and—Oh. Hey, Brooke Lynn.” Silky pauses halfway between the door and the bed and glances between Vanessa and Brooke a few times.

Vanjie shifts uncomfortably from her left to right a few times and offers Silky the chair against the wall. “Brooke and I were watching a movie.”

Silky’s eyes narrow and she glances at the TV. “Yeah? Which one?”

Brooke hadn’t been paying that much attention to the TV when he turned it on, so he presses the info button on the remote and can hardly believe their luck. He clears his throat. “Umm. Deep Impact.”

Silky nods. “Should I come back?”

“No!” Vanjie says quickly and guides her to the chair. “No. No, you can definitely stay and hang with us and watch…” She glances at Brooke, “Deep Impact with us, right, Brooke?”

Brooke offers a sort of half-salute, but he feels his cheeks burn with shame. Five minutes ago, he thought he was about to get laid. Now he’s watching a bad sci-fi movie with Silky and Vanessa.

After procuring a bag of gummy bears from Silky, Vanjie crawls back in bed and situates herself underneath Brooke’s arm. She looks up at him and grins.

It’s not what he had in mind, but he guesses it isn’t the worst thing he could be doing.

*****

Ten-thirty rolls around much more quickly than anticipated when he’s spending time laughing and snuggling and sneaking kisses when Silky’s head is turned to A’keria or Nina or Yvie, filling them in on the latest gossip from the Werk Room.

But soon the head Production Assistant—Maya—raps on Vanessa’s door and tells the girls it’s almost time for room checks. So Brooke waits until everyone else has filtered out of Vanjie’s room before he lands his lips on hers and kisses her goodnight.

“Sorry our plans got derailed,” she says quietly, pulling on his hoodie. “I didn’t know she was coming.”

He shrugs. “We’ve got plenty of time.”

“Until we don’t.”

“You’re not going anywhere anytime soon, okay?” Brooke kisses her again, harder this time, to convince her just how confident in her he is already. “Especially not this week, Miss I-Thanked-Myself Vanjie.”

Vanessa closes her eyes and rests their foreheads together. “See you tomorrow, mami.”

“Good night,” he whispers and closes the door behind him.

Maya is waiting in the hallway, back against the wall between their hotel room doors.

“Hey, Brooke,” she says softly. “I’d like to talk to you for a moment. Can I come in?”

He doesn’t really think that’s a question he can say no to, so he swipes his key card, holds out his arms, and welcomes the woman into his room.

Maya is all business—clutching a clipboard to her chest, earpiece firmly in place, walkie-talkie permanently connected to her hip—and Brooke’s stomach drops because surely this can only mean one thing: they’ve been found out and he and Vanjie are both about to be sent packing. A double disqualification. They’ll make Willam’s ordeal look like child’s play.

He swallows hard and tries to smile as Maya eases herself into the chair against the wall. “What’s up?”

“First of all, you aren’t in any trouble.” Maya smiles up at Brooke, who feels the weight of the world lift off her shoulders. He’s safe. But Vanjie… “Secondly, we’ve noticed that you and Miss Mateo seem to be growing close.”

Brooke freezes,tries to carefully control his features so as not to give anything away. Maya had said he wasn’t in trouble. And there’s nothing in the contract that says relationships are forbidden… Still, at this point, it’s probably best to play things close to the chest. For everyone involved.

“We’re good friends,” Brooke finally settles on. “I like her a lot.”

Maya grins. “I know that our rules here at the hotel can seem a bit… strict, especially when it comes to keeping you girls separated at night. I know there are times this ten-thirty room check seems a bit much because I realize there are certainly nights when you’d like to stay up to chat with each other.” She raises an eyebrow. “Or engage in other activities with each other.”

Brooke can’t help it; he blushes furiously, like a 12-year-old girl caught admitting her crush.

“I’ll be blunt, Brooke,” Maya continues. “This is the eleventh season of Drag Race, and we’ve yet to have a romance despite Ru’s wish that there be one. I’m not going to ask you to force feelings if they aren’t there… But if they are developing naturally as I believe them to be, production would be willing to overlook certain rules as far as you and Vanessa are concerned.”

At first, Brooke doesn’t know if he should be offended that they want to use him and Vanessa for ratings or be grateful that they’re being given this opportunity to get to know each other more intimately.

Vanessa had been handsy over the weekend, grabbing Brooke’s ass over his shorts and running her hands under Brooke’s shirt along the broad expanses of his chest and stomach, but Brooke was hesitant to push things too far. It was too fresh, too new. And, if production caught them, who knew what would happen then?

So Brooke had to pull away and look down at Vanessa and tell her to stop, even though what he really wanted to say was, “More more more.” Like tonight. Just like tonight.

Brooke looks up at Maya. “So all we have to do is what exactly?”

“Exactly what you’re doing now,” Maya says with a shrug, “but more in front of the cameras. No need to hide the beginning of something beautiful, am I right?”

“And what exactly do we get out of it?” Brooke isn’t convinced.

“Well, nothing officially. But we’d be willing to…” Maya chews her lip, carefully choosing her words. “Overlook it if certain rules were broken. Say if one of you were in the other’s room at room checks and had an inclination to stay there… We would probably be willing to turn a blind eye.”

Brooke studies Maya’s face carefully. He’s always played things by the book, afraid to bend, let alone outright break, a rule. But here’s the lead PA practically telling him it would be okay. Still, Brooke isn’t a fool. She understands how easy it would be for production to rescind their offer if he or Vanessa made a misstep.

He remembers Vanessa’s lips leaving trails of fire down his neck and her fingertips brushing against the black outlines of the daisies on his arm. He thinks about running his tongue over Vanjie’s cat tattoo, like it was put there just for him, a beacon calling him home, signaling him to where he’s truly supposed to be.

We have plenty of time, he’d told her and meant it, confident in both their abilities to last in the competition.

Until we don’t.

Then they just can’t misstep.

“Can I talk it over with Vanessa?” Brooke says quietly, still not completely believing that he’s considering this, that it could be real, that he’s fallen into something so deep.

Maya shrugs and pushes herself to her feet. “Sure. Or don’t. Either way, I was never here. But we’ll be watching the two of you very carefully.” She pauses by the door with a hand on the frame. “Have a good night, Brooke.”

Brooke nods and watches as Maya flashes him a brilliant smile and leaves the room, walkie-talkie flashing green on her hip.

#rpdr fanfiction #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #branjie #canon compliant #submission #meggie #paper hearts

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shootingstarbit · 5 years

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so i didn’t really know where to put this sort of venty-thingamabob, since i don’t really have friends i feel like i can talk to about my personal bs, therefore it is going on the tumblarb, where it shall be lost to time! hooray!!

...anyway, earlier this year i was diagnosed with high-functioning autism/asperger’s, and while having this diagnosis has been very helpful in putting a large part of my life into context, i almost feel more isolated than ever knowing i’ll never be like most of my family/peers... i know that’s a thing i’m supposed to celebrate, but i’m having trouble doing so.

my mom (i’m a 15 yo cis female living w/ my parents, for context) has been my rock throughout all of this, and has done a bunch of research on the subject to educate herself as well as the rest of my family on my day-to-day struggles, but i’m finding she doesn’t entirely get it either. i’m not blaming her, obviously, it can be hard to understand something you can’t experience, but more and more often i feel like i’m being treated more like a specimen to be scientifically observed than her daughter... she’s trying her best, and i love her for that, but things are just different now.

the reason i bring this up is because i’m having trouble dealing w/ a little... not “fight,” per say, not even a disagreement... maybe divide we’re dealing with right now? like most autistic people i have my fair share of hyperfixations that crowd my brain... i’m super into animation, it’s what i want to do in life, and i often find myself rambling about the plots of disney movies to people who have already seen them/know them/don’t actually care, talking about the little intricacies of them, what i’d change about them to make them better, how i just generally love them so much... which brings us to right now.

mom and i were on our traditional sunday dogwalk in the park, and we were talking about the current events of the world, bringing us to the whole controversy of casting halle bailey as ariel in the live action remake of disney’s the little mermaid (we both think it’s fine, if you were wondering). from that i went off about the original 1989 movie, how i loved the animation, loved the music, loved the character designs and voice acting, etc. etc.. mom listened to me for the most part, but became less and less receptive as the conversation went on, something i should’ve picked up on in the moment. the (frankly one-sided) conversation lasted all the way back home, to where we were sitting on the couch and she was on her phone, another sign she wasn’t really interested. i was deep into my analysis of why the 2008 prequel, ariel’s beginning, is CLEARLY inferior to the original film, as it contradicts many aspects of the characterization of characters like triton and even ariel herself, and blah, blah, blah, blah, when she interrupted me and told me i should go upstairs and tell my dad we were home because he needed the car. i made a joke about how she was just saying that because she was bored of the conversation, and her response was along the lines of “yeah, kinda.”

i get why. i’m not mad at her. i know she can’t cater to my every whim, it would be unfair of me to expect that. i guess it’s just that i really don’t have anyone else to talk about this stuff with, and for so long she was my go-to whenever i needed to vent, which isn’t being a good friend, i realize that. i feel bad about that. i just feel bad in general. she’s tried to apologize, which i can appreciate, she’s done so much for me that i am eternally grateful for, but i’m so hung up on this now. i feel like i’ve lost something. i know i’m in the wrong but i’m just hurting inside right now. i don’t hate her, i never will, but i’m starting to feel like a stranger in my own home.

i don’t know what i expect to come out of this post... i guess writing out my thoughts makes me feel a little better. maybe if anyone in a similar situation has advice/support, they’d offer it? i’ll get over it, obviously, i usually do. it’s far from the end of the world... but i guess i’d like to feel a little less alone.

#vent #vent post #autism #autistic #high functioning autism #high functioning autistic #hyperfixation #hyperfixations #cass whispers

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kurenafujio · 5 years

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An Example of why I don’t debate much in my comment sections on YT/Tumblr/FB/ETC. (It’s Endless) | TLDR at the End

@omg-whydidimakethisaccount

"You do know that racist people did the same thing for Black Panther right? “Innocent people are getting called racist for no reason because they didn’t like the movie!” For a while people believed it, including me. Then as time passes a lot of people started realizing that people were claiming this happened.....but no one actually sees it. And while I’m sure a few people have, the fact of the matter is that racists spread the rhetoric for a reason"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhKFv92JGqM

All throughout the comment section you see people saying “I’m black and I don’t want Ariel to change.” And black people are complaining all over the internet about it being racial pandering. Which-it-is. You just aren’t looking for it. Have you never heard of the phrase that the dumbest people are the loudest? Of course you’ll run across racists. They’re the loudest of them all. But they’re not the only ones who are upset and it isn’t “just a few.” That’s just your confirmation bias. “For a while people believed it, including me.” You think that you woke up to some new epiphany but you’re just viewing everything in extremes.

"It’s quite similar to conservatives labeling everything “sjw”. In hopes to make people’s points valid, we label them as names such as sjws or snowflakes."

You’re using the same tactics by labeling everyone racist who disagrees. Just because racist people have an issue with something doesn’t mean that everyone who has an issue with it are racists. How tf can you be mad that people exploit the phrase “sjw” when you are exploiting the word racists for the SAME REASON.

"And that’s what people did for Black Panther. The racists were very vague on what their comments were but they spread this agenda that people are being called racist left and right. That people are hunting down poor souls stating an opinion and harassing them. This of course wasn’t the case, but the power of the internet sure made it seem so. But like I said, smart people started noticing that this was not the case."

This isn’t the same as Black Panther. He is a real superhero who was originally black and his movie was very cultural. So it brought up controversy and there was a lot of racism involved. However, Ariel is a Disney character who already has a character design that people love and have been drawing for decades. Black people (yes BLACK PEOPLE) have made themselves clear. They want new original characters to represent them. Not to have their skin tone slapped on a white character for pandering and re-branding purposes only.

"And this is the case for pretty much any movie that causes stir due to race such as this. Now I’ve been on a lot of social media platforms. Reddit, tumblr, YouTube comments, twitter, etc etc. I barely see people refer a person that doesn’t like the casting a racist......w/o reason. Racists spread the lies for Black Panther because they knew they would be called out for their racists comments so they hoped that referring people who called them out as “sjws” would somehow stray away from that fact"

“w/o reason” is vague. I’m not going to take your word for it that their reasons are good because you’re the same person who said that only a few people are black and or genuinely just don’t want her character to change which is clearly false. Which I have already explained. And again with the Black Panther. Just because you didn’t see those comments for what they were during THAT particular movie, doesn’t mean that every movie that has a black character will only get criticism from racists. You have no sense nuance.

"And sadly that is going on with Halle Bailey. My friends were accused of being “sjws” for simply calling out a racist who didn’t like Black Ariel. Like I said my black friends also don’t like her but they aren’t being racist they just don’t like the actress. However when they called out an actual racist that reposted a “sea monkey” post in response to Halle’s castings they were harassed for calling a person racist over a “joke”

Your situation with your friends is just confirmation bias. That doesn’t speak for all situations. Hence me linking you the video that I sent you. Also the seamonkey thing is clearly a racist joke but that has nothing to do with my original point. You literally just said you know people who genuinely don’t want her to be black and are black themselves. But instead of being nuanced and thinking, “Oh, some people are racists and some just don’t want her to change” you take away from it, “most are racists and very few don’t want her to change.” It’s ridiculous. You’re not being objective. And why does someone have to be black to not want her to change without being racist? That’s a bigoted way of thinking within itself. 'If you’re white and you don’t like her, you’re probably racist.' No.

"Some people didn’t even know what was happening. They just saw “innocent person gets harassed because they stated an opinion” and started harassing my friends too. And like that, the Black Panther fiasco cycles it’s way back to the internet"

This isn’t the same as the Black Panther incident.

“I get it. You are a proud person. You want everyone to have a chance to state their opinion. Sad thing is, that’s not the problem here. There’s a bunch of actual racists convincing people that they should be upset over this when in reality it’s a damn movie. And sadly people fall for it. I used to be one of these people. When Scarlet Johansson plays Asian characters I followed the crowd saying “she’s a good actress, the character is an android anyways, who cares!?!?”

No? You clearly didn’t even watch my video. I stated several times then and now that I KNOW that SOME people are racist who feel that way. However, you have NO RIGHT to label EVERYONE “most likely racist” for not wanting Ariel to be black. That is a hive minded way of thinking, you can’t compare this to Black Panther because the complaints are completely different, and the point that I originally made in my video is that people are not nuanced. You are thinking in black and white. Just because I am willing to acknowledge that a LOT of people just genuinely don’t want her to change and aren’t racist doesn’t mean that I am saying that NO ONE or MANY PEOPLE aren’t racist who feel that way. I’m saying its a mixed bag of opinions and not to lump every stranger who complains about it into one big group. How the hell can you complain about people labeling everyone sjws for a conservative agenda but at the same time you are labeling everyone who isn’t black, who doesn’t like this casting choice “most likely racist.” It’s not objective at all and you aren’t any smarter from the Black Panther incident by doing this. You don’t even realize that your mistake in both of these cases is that you looked at the responses in black or white. Either ALL/MOST complaints are racist or ALL/MOST complaints are not. That is a horrible way to discern the truth of any situation. And that mentality is exactly what I was ranting about in my video.

"But then to see the same people who I’ve sided with on the Ghost of the Shell debate all of a sudden throw a fit when a Black person is casted as Ariel? I realized there is something wrong. I didn’t accuse them of being racist. Because then I would’ve been racist. So I asked myself, why are people so weird about this sort of stuff? It’s cause our society was racist from the start. We value white skills, and we can make them take over any minority movie."

“The same people.” Who are these people? Again you are lumping everyone together. It’s so ridiculous.

"But when a minority takes a traditionally “white” role even though it’s not exclusive, all hell breaks lose. I don’t find all NotMyAriel logic racist.....but a lot of them come from racist rhetorics. When you go down to their core, they are very simple in logic. And the reason they are simple is because the racists spurred out the nonsense first. People just don’t realize it"

Not only is your own logic very simple minded but you aren’t even familiar with the term “Racebending Redheads” Which has been a trend lately. For some reason redheads are just raceless as characters and can just be swapped out with a black person. They keep doing it in movies and redheads are also complaining about this more and more. There are a lot of redheads who have an issue with Ariel’s new casting choice and rightfully so.

“ I mean do you know how many “What if we made Pocahontas white” I’ve seen? Or “What about Danish culture and redhead representation?!?:” all of which Danish people and redheads don’t give a damn. But that’s why these arguments are so....silly"

Lol but redheads do give a damn. Racebending Redheads is a thing. And yeah the Danish argument may be silly but you are literally cherry picking! What the hell? Did I ever bring up Danish culture in my video? Nope. Why not address the argument that people would rather see Princess Tiana as a Jamaican Actress than a light skinned African American who is from the same culture. Why? Because her character is dark skinned. So yeah this isn’t a cultural issue which is even more of a reason why you can’t compare it to Black Panther lol.

"Anyways, sorry for commenting so much. You seem like a well rounded individual and it’s always sad to see intelligent people fall into the same trap I fell into. Basically just really dig deep into these conversations"

TL;DR

You’re so condescending though. Insinuating that “smart people” are the ones who are “seeing through all of these lies.” I don’t agree with you so by your statement I am “not smart” until I do. In other words, you’re apologizing for the wrong thing. Like I said, you’re cherry picking what to argue against and then when its something you can’t argue against you just say crap like, “I used to feel the same way. Smart people are seeing through it. Did you know x y z that is completely unrelated to any of the good points that you made? Oh and I personally experienced a b c which is also unrelated to your 20 minute video.” Those aren’t counterarguments or realizations. It’s just bs and you aren’t listening to anything that disagrees with you whereas I am reading all of this junk and responding to what YOU SAID and countering it. Not replying with a bunch of unrelated strawmans and whataboutism.

#ariel is black #the little mermaid #racebending readheads #racebending #opinion archive #rant archive #controversial #racism #bigotry #nuance #close minded #simple minded #bias #confirmation bias #halle bailey #disney

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feadae · 6 years

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@bliss-delight-jr Here are the song recs you requested! The list ended up being kinda comically long; way too long to put in a reply, so here it is (you asked for bops and jams and I added a bunch of bangers too bc I have a ton of bangers in my playlists and not many jams)

-“Topsy Turvy” from Hunchback of Notre Dame – movie and musical versions are both amazing, but the movie version is more of a consistent bop; the musical version is just a few clicks slower and is split in half by two numbers, which are both amazing, but don’t have the feel of a bop) -“Roundtable Rival” by Lindsey Stirling – a freaking JAM and also a BANGER -“Thrift Shop” by Vitamin String Quartet – a JAM -“La Llorona” from Coco – not a bop, a jam, or a banger, but like, it’s so GOOD -“The Court of Miracles” from Hunchback – again, the movie and musical versions are both great, and I’ve actually been using the musical version to get me up and moving in the morning, but the movie version is WAY more of a bop in terms of tempo and general feel; in the musical, Clopin sort of relishes having caught Quasi and Phoebus and the song is a slower kind of menacing, but in the movie, Clopin revels in being about to kill the Boys and the song is fast and bouncy and lively and a bop -“I’m the One That’s Cool” by The Guild feat. Felicia Day – a banger if I’ve ever heard one -“96,000” from In the Heights – a bop -“Carnaval del Barrio” from In the Heights – a jam that becomes a bop that becomes a banger -“The Rocky Road to Dublin” by The High Kings – a BOP -“Facade” from Jekyll and Hyde – closest to bop? I judge the difference between bops, jams, and bangers by the kind of movements that I naturally make when I hear the songs, and I make “banger” movements when I listen to “Facade,” but there’s something in my brain that’s telling me it’s too lively to be a banger, so I don’t know. It’s good, regardless. -“Murder, Murder” from Jekyll and Hyde – now this is a banger, for sure. A musical theater banger. -“Joy of the Lord” from Hands on a Hardbody – first, that’s a hardbody TRUCK. Don’t get any ideas. And “Joy of the Lord” is kinda repetitive, but it’s such a bop; I love it -“Born in Laredo” from Hands on a Hardbody – somewhere between a jam and a banger; this is an angry ballad, and I’m LIVING for it -“Can’t Sleep Love” by Pentatonix – somewhere between a jam and a bop -“Tavern Song (Thai Mol Piyas)” from Hunchback of Notre Dame – now this one is only in the musical, but the chorus is such a bop! The verses are closer to a jam and the whole song is so good. Fun fact: it’s the only song in the whole show that includes a language that is not English, Latin, or French! -“Esmeralda” from Hunchback of Notre Dame – I’m so sorry that there’s so much Hunchback on here, but it’s Alan Menken and Stephen Schwartz’s fault for writing such Damn Good Music, and I’m a little obsessed rn since I’m in the thing. But “Esmeralda” is the Act I finale and it’s a musical theater BANGER. I get CHILLS every time. -“Un Poco Loco” from Coco – a bop, pure and simple. It’s so cute. -“Istanbul” by They Might Be Giants – also a bop. Very catchy. Fun fact: the first time I heard this song it was a Barbershop cover on YouTube, and for a solid five years I didn’t understand that it was a cover and not an original, bc I’d never heard the original and I’d never heard of They Might Be Giants, so I figured it was the name of the quartet the guy singing it was in (it was one of those quartet-with-yourself things YouTube vocalists love but I digress). I also didn’t get the concept of YouTube cover artists arranging their own covers if they wanted to genre-bend, so I was v disappointed when I couldn’t find the sheet music for my own Barbershop quartet to sing at contest -“I See Fire” by Peter Hollens – a jam -“Help!” by The Beatles – a bop -“All for the Best” from Godspell – a very fun bop that plays on multiple meanings of the phrase “all for the best” and there are some pretty dang cute videos of high school productions of this one -“Alas for You” from Godspell – a BANGER. A righteous-anger BANGER. If I recall the plot of the show correctly, this is Jesus losing it in the temple that folks turned into a marketplace. -“Flip Flop and Fly” by Ellis Hall – the first place I heard this was in Chicken Run as a kid, and I don’t know if it was written specifically for the movie or not. All I know is that it’s a futzing BOP. -“Flintstones” by Jacob Collier – a BOP. -“What the Heck I Gotta Do” from 21 Chump Street – 21 Chump Street is a 15-minute mini-musical written & composed by Lin-Manuel Miranda, based on a true story, and “What the Heck I Gotta Do” is such a cute bop. -“Run, Freedom, Run!” from Urinetown – Yes that’s what the musical is called. It’s an Experience. “Run, Freedom, Run!” is a BOP, though. -“Cop Song” from Urinetown – A bop that becomes a banger -“Jet Set” from Catch Me If You Can – a BOP. Honestly this whole musical is so good. It’s a bit like Cheez-Its in that you kind of forget about it when you’ve got more interesting options available, but then you choose it and you’re like, “I forgot how good this was!” That’s Catch Me. And yes, it’s based on the Leo DiCaprio movie. -“Somebody’s Eyes” from Footloose: the Musical – I don’t really have strong feelings about this musical, but “Somebody’s Eyes” is fun. It’s a jam. -“Jolly Holiday” from Mary Poppins: the Musical – A bop. Mary Poppins the movie was my CHILDHOOD and I got really excited when I heard that it was a musical too, and I love the musical. They add huge chunks to the songs that aren’t in the movie, but they sound good and stand pretty well on their own. “Supercal” and “Step in Time” get honorable mentions, because I adore them both, but the musical versions don’t really fit into the bop/jam/banger categories. I 100% recommend watching a video of “Step in Time” though; the choreography is KILLER. -“We Go Together” by David Tennant and Catherine Tate – this is a bonus track on the soundtrack for the Much Ado About Nothing where David and Catherine were Benedick and Beatrice, and this song is such a cute bop that encapsulates the Beatrice/Benedick dynamic really well. It’s great and I kinda wanna see if I can convince a future boyfriend to sing it with me. -“Moon Goddess” by Jocelyn Hagen – this is a choir piece, and you wouldn’t expect a choir piece to be a banger, but “Moon Goddess” is a BANGER. Trust me. -“Godzilla Eats Las Vegas” by Eric Whitacre – it’s a concert band piece and I guess it could maybe be a banger but I really just want you to listen to it because it’s exactly what it sounds like and it’s HILARIOUS. -“Incantation and Dance” by John Barnes Chance – another concert band piece, and kinda long, but it’s a jam that becomes a banger, and it’s spoopy too; perfect for Halloween Season -“The Typewriter” by Leroy Anderson – a concert band piece where the primary soloist plays an Actual Literal Typewriter and it’s great. A bop. -“Livin’ It Up on Top” from Hadestown – a BOP. The musical is one of those concept-album musicals and it’s a Great-Depression-era retelling of the Orpheus and Euridice story and it’s GREAT. -“Way Down Hadestown” from Hadestown – also a bop -“Our Lady of the Underground” from Hadestown – Persephone gets to start Act II with a kickass solo and it’s a JAM. I adore it and I really wanna sing it for a hypothetical voice recital -“You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid” by The Offspring – a BANGER -“When You’re Evil” by Aurelio Voltaire – a JAM. A SPOOPY jam. -“The Devil Went Down to Georgia” by The Charlie Daniels Band – a bop and a banger all at once. I adore it. -“Down in New Orleans” from The Princess and the Frog – both the reprise and the original are such good bops, but I especially love the reprise because Anika Noni Rose’s voice is ANGELIC. -“Through Heaven’s Eyes” from The Prince of Egypt – I adore this whole soundtrack with my whole soul, but “Through Heaven’s Eyes” is the only song that really fits into a bop/jam/banger category, and that only barely. It’s a bop if you squint, but regardless it’s really good and I love it. -“The Mad Hatter” from Wonderland – a musical theater banger. The new Mad Hatter is a woman, and she’s a mezzo-soprano, so you know what that means: a jazzy introduction song where she gets to belt her heart out and it’s great. -“I Will Prevail” from Wonderland – the Mad Hatter’s other solo, also a banger, goes even harder than the first one, because It’s Act Two, Bitches, Shit’s Gettin’ Real -“I’ll Think of You” by Kurt Hugo Schneider – a cute little a capella bop. I definitely recommend watching the video on this one because the patty-cake thing the singers do while singing is really impressive and really cute. -“Oh, the Thinks You Can Think” from Seussical the Musical – listen this musical is so cute, and I’d love to play Gertrude McFuzz, because she’s so cute, but I’d ESPECIALLY love to play the Cat in the Hat, because he falls into the category of Chaotic Good/Chaotic Neutral, Spritely Character Where Gender Doesn’t Matter in Casting (others in this category include Puck from Midsummer, Ariel from The Tempest, and Clopin from Hunchback—all characters I want to play). And this song is the opening number and it’s a really fun bop. -“Tango: Maureen” from RENT – a jam. Makes me want to learn how to tango. -“La Vie Boheme” from RENT – a BANGER. -“The Road Goes On” from The Lord of the Rings: the Musical – YES, this is a real musical. YES, I’m as excited as you are. This song is a bop, through and through. -“Both Sides of the Coin” from The Mystery of Edwin Drood – a BOP. The whole musical is wonderful and I love it and you should listen to it (have the Wikipedia summary pulled up while you do; since it’s based on a book that never technically ends, since Dickens died before he could finish it, the musical is a solve-it-yourself with multiple endings, where the audience picks the ending every night) -“Be Good or Be Gone” from Pump Boys and Dinettes – somewhere between a bop and a banger -“Papaoutai” by Pentatonix feat. Lindsey Stirling – a bop -“Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate the Positive” by Bing Crosby feat. The Andrews Sisters – a cute little bop -“Hobbit Drinking Medley” by Peter Hollens feat. Hank Green – such a bop. So cute. I really like the video -“Independence!” from The Trail to Oregon – this is a StarKid one, and it’s so fun. A bop. -“Rogues Are We” from Holy Musical B@man! – more StarKid. Closer to a banger. Especially fun to sing along when you’re alone in the car and you can belt out all the notes in all the character voices with no one to give you a funny look for it *I was trying not to do this, but just anything by Celtic Woman. It’s all so good! -“Finnegan’s Wake” by The High Kings – such a BOP, good LORD. -“Way Ahead of My Time” from Taxi Cabaret – it’s a bop, and it’s sung by a gay caveman. That is all you need to know. (There are a bunch of really good professional versions but I found a high schooler called Wyatt Walberg on YouTube doing it for his school and his version is really good) -“Any Kind of Dead Person” from Ghost Quartet – a BOP. And another spoopy bop, no less. -“Alive” by Skipinnish – I don’t remember where I first heard this, and my brain is telling me there’s a distinct probability that either you or Sock recommended it to me (OH I think it’s in a playlist one of y’all made for CotIG), so if you already know about it, then this is a reminder to listen to it again, because isn’t it so good?! A bop. -“Danger On the Dance Floor” by The Cog is Dead – A BANGER. A TANGO. A GREAT STORY. WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT. -“Nicknackatory” by Mr. B, the Gentleman Rapper – so apparently gentleman rap (I think it’s called chap-hop, which makes me really happy) is an actual genre, and I love it with all my heart. This is hilarious. A bop.

So...yeah

#cali.txt #song recommendations #bliss-delight-jr

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marciabrady · 3 years

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I honestly don't mean any disrespect here by asking, but can I ask why Frozen gets so much criticism for lacking racial diversity when Tangled doesn't? While obv representation is important, Frozen is mid 1800s Norway, and Tangled decided to not only scrap all the different races for background characters they originally planned to use, and it doesn't even take plan in a specific yt majority place like Frozen does. It also came first, so it just confuses me that people crack down harder on one but not the other (I know you were specifically asked about frozen though). I feel like people in general cut Tangled a lot of undeserved slack. Feel free to ignore if you want, I just enjoy your disney thoughts 😊

No I totally get where you're going with this! And, just to be clear, I don't think Tangled should get slack in any category.

As it pertains to Frozen, like you mentioned, I was asked specifically about it. There's a few other factors at play for me, too.

Like I mentioned, Tangled was the FIRST white Disney Princess movie in close to two decades. So, when they did come back with a white princess, it should've been the exception, not the rule. Frozen came AFTER and featured not just two princesses, but two princesses with light eyes and light hair. And this was right after we had just gotten a redhead with blue eyes in Brave and a blonde with light eyes in Tangled. Like I mentioned, prior to this, the only time we got four white princesses back to back were from between the years of 1937 and 1989. And they ALL have different bodies, face structures, etc- Snow White even has dark hair and dark eyes! And think about the fact that just between 2010-2013 we had just as many white princesses, that were even whiter than the princesses that fell between 1937-89 and it's just a yikes across the board for me.

Another part of it was because to whom much is given, much is expected and Frozen was a HUGE hit and so I feel like something that big should've given us more in terms of diversity. They try so hard to hit us over the head with the performative activism in their script with the feminism and the mental health awareness and they were so persistent on embracing a "wokeness" and modern sensibility as it pertained to the characterizations- I mean, they spent the entire film essentially mocking fairytale tropes and being disrespectful to their source material- so I don't understand why they couldn't make the people in the film look more like what people in the world actually look like today??

ALSO they do the thing they're doing in modern films now that drives me MAD. They did this in BATB 2017, Cinderella 2015, and Maleficent 2, and it's where they give characters of color roles but they're only minor roles or roles in the background and like that's literally just diversity for the sake of diversity. To me, it's more harmful to the public to only cast black people in background roles tbh or they'll pull something like Halle Bailey's Ariel where they're making Ariel black but Eric and Ursula are white and Ariel's dad is a Latino actor I JUST

#ask #anonymous #i love how intelligent and respectful this tag was #the rest of us can only aspire to be half as lovely #thank you for enjoying my thoughts btw!!

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mastcomm · 5 years

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Sooner or Later, Zoë Kravitz Was Going to Be a Star

One afternoon in January, Zoë Kravitz was sitting in a sushi restaurant on the second floor of a Los Angeles strip mall, but her thoughts were 3,000 miles and 10 or so years away.

Specifically she was thinking about her weed guy.

He’d come around with product concealed in a guitar case. “He would only talk in code,” Kravitz remembered. “Like, ‘Do you want a guitar lesson today?’ But then sometimes he would screw it up, and be like, ‘Do you want guitar?’ I’m like, This isn’t code anymore.”

She was in her early 20s then, working only on and off, just another smart, young Brooklynite with time on her hands and a propensity for overthinking. She couldn’t have known it, but she was also doing research for her first headlining role, in the Hulu series “High Fidelity,” based on the 1995 lad-lit novel by Nick Hornby. Kravitz plays a Brooklyn record store owner whose life — and love life — is going nowhere particular, a part for which all those guitar lessons were inadvertent research.

“I did a lot of dumb stuff,” she said, but used a more pungent noun than “stuff.”

“Fun stuff,” she said, “but dumb stuff. And was probably a really difficult person to be in a relationship with. But I think maybe any 21, 22, 23-year-old is.”

Back in Los Angeles, the lunch crowd had mostly cleared out while Kravitz talked about living in New York, young and unfettered.

She wrapped her hands around a mug of green tea. She has the names of her younger siblings, LOLA and WOLF, inked across her middle fingers. Certain creepily comprehensive Internet sites suggest that she has at least 55 tattoos in total, many as small as punctuation. She wore a white cardigan. Her hair was cut short and pressed to her scalp in dark waves. Her characters often tend to say less than they know, forever side-eyeing the world around them, but in person she’s sharp, emphatic, easily moved to passionate outbursts by a piece of omakase (“Like butter. Like butter!”) or the two-decade-old “Seinfeld” where George builds a bed under his desk. (“It’s just so funny. Oh, man.”)

It feels like Kravitz, 31, has always been famous — an indelible screen presence and iconic parents will do that — but for years she’s been on the fringes of the action, playing haunted supporting characters in epics like “Mad Max: Fury Road” and the “Divergent” series. But that’s about to change. In a day or two she was leaving for London to start shooting her biggest movie role to date, playing Selina Kyle — better known as Catwoman — in the director Matt Reeves’s “The Batman.” Robert Pattinson plays the Caped Crusader, Colin Farrell is the Penguin, and in true star-of-a-comic-book-adaptation fashion, Kravitz said she couldn’t say much else, except that she never imagined finding herself central to a movie like this one.

“I really thought I was going to do theater and indie films,” she said. “That was what I liked growing up. And also, that was what I thought I was suited for. I didn’t see a lot of people who looked like me in big movies.”

Just a few years ago, Kravitz — whose parents, the actress Lisa Bonet and the rocker/scarf influencer Lenny Kravitz, are both African-American and Jewish — had been discouraged from auditioning for a part in one of Christopher Nolan’s Batman films. Not by Nolan personally, she said. It wasn’t a Catwoman-size part.

“It wasn’t like we were talking to the top of the top in terms of who was casting the thing,” she said, “But they said they weren’t ‘going urban.’ I thought that was really funny.”

A lot has changed since — for Kravitz personally, and in the business as a whole. From Tessa Thompson’s Valkyrie in Marvel’s cinematic universe to Halle Bailey’s Ariel in the forthcoming live-action “Little Mermaid” reboot, it’s become less unusual for actors of color to book roles not originally conceived with an actor of color in mind, particularly in comic-book and fantasy material, where parallel universes collide and anything is possible. (It’s worth noting that women of color have played Catwoman twice before, including Halle Berry in a somewhat infamous 2004 film.)

Sometimes, though, inclusive casting highlights just how much work Hollywood — newly woke but still groggy — has left to do, when it comes to actually telling diverse stories. For two seasons, on HBO’s “Big Little Lies,” Kravitz has played Bonnie Carlson, the yoga-instructor wife of Reese Witherspoon’s character’s hunky ex. Amid a stacked cast of A-listers going for broke — trashing one another verbally, sometimes trashing rooms literally — she’s been an island of wary reserve, her eyes suggesting painful depths.

But in the first season Bonnie seemed to float at the periphery of a story that prioritized the tribulations of its well-to-do white characters instead. In the second season, Bonnie got a real story line — which required her to sit by her comatose mother in a hospital room few of the other characters ever visited. Critics and viewers noticed; the show was roundly criticized for its apparent lack of interest in Bonnie’s inner life.

Kravitz said she’d been drawn to the role of Bonnie — who’s white in the Liane Moriarty novel that inspired the series — because it was a chance to work with the director, Jean-Marc Valleé, and with “this dream cast” of Witherspoon, Nicole Kidman, Laura Dern and Shailene Woodley, who she’d made three “Divergent” movies with and who she’d practically grown up alongside. When she first read the script, Kravitz said, “it felt really fresh and necessary, and like it was filling some kind of creative void I didn’t know I’d really had.”

It didn’t bother her, she said, that the show never acknowledged that Bonnie was the only prominent person of color in the series’ otherwise monochromatic Northern California milieu.

“In the first season, there was something really refreshing about not making that a story line,” she said. “It’s frustrating when people of color can only play a character that’s written as a minority,” she added. “So it’s refreshing when it’s not about that. But it’s complicated, because you don’t want to ignore that fact. Part of our responsibility as storytellers is to tell the truth.”

She said she’d brought up ideas for Bonnie, ways to explore her position in the world of the show that felt truthful. “I pitched things, and it didn’t resonate with everybody and that’s OK,” she said, “It’s not like I didn’t have anything to do. Bonnie has a lot going on besides the fact that she’s a minority, you know? But that detail and that depth would have been delightful.”

Kravitz was born in 1988, when her mother was best known as the Hillman College undergrad Denise Huxtable on the “Cosby Show” spinoff “A Different World” and her father was a struggling musician who still went by Romeo Blue. They split in 1993, when Kravitz was 4; the following year, Bonet and her daughter settled in relative seclusion, on five acres in Topanga Canyon.

Bonet rocketed to fame as Cliff and Clair Huxtable’s second daughter, and then lost that job — she had creative differences with Bill Cosby, beginning when he refused to write Bonet’s pregnancy with Zoë into the series. In an interview, Bonet said the move to the mountains was, at least in part, “a retreat from a world that I was probably unprepared for, at the age I was out there playing in it.”

She also wanted to give her daughter a connection with nature and nurture her imagination. She was a limited-screen-time parent before “screen time” became a topic of widespread parental concern. They had a VCR and a collection of tapes — mostly stuff from Bonet’s childhood. “The Little Rascals.” The original “Freaky Friday,” with Jodie Foster. “Bugsy Malone,” a Prohibition-era gangster musical starring a cast of children. (“That was a big one for me,” Kravitz said.)

Kravitz was always a performer, Bonet said. She remembered the night of her mother’s funeral, when Kravitz favored family members gathered at the Topanga house with a song — “The Boy Is Mine,” by Brandy and Monica.

“Zoë put a suit on — I think she had a mustache and glasses — and came out and brought so much joy to the whole room,” Bonet said. “No one told her what to do — it was just pure, from her imagination, with the intention to lift the spirits in the room.”

Kravitz would have been around 9 when this happened. At 11, she relocated to Miami to live with her father, who’d long since shed the Romeo Blue moniker and become one of the biggest rock stars of the age. There are different stories about how Zoë Kravitz’s move to Miami happened, depending on whom you ask.

“There was a whole seduction,” Bonet said, “to a life outside of living in the mountains, with just a monitor and a VCR, compared to screens in every room and private chefs and a big house. There was no real conversation, not between her father and I. But it was necessary. She needed to find out who her father was, and that was the way.”

Lenny Kravitz recalled the situation somewhat differently.

“She wanted to live with me,” he said, “and I wanted to have her. It was time. And as a family, we made the decision together.”

“It really helped me to focus my life,” he said. “I was running around the world touring, man … I had to make some lifestyle changes.”

Still, life with Lenny Kravitz came with no shortage of rock-star perks. He shared a label with the Spice Girls at the time; one year Zoë sat with them at the Grammy Awards. “I don’t remember if it was Scary or Victoria,” Lenny said, “but she was sitting on one of their laps, and she was in heaven.”

But according to Zoë Kravitz, there were more prosaic reasons that life with her father appealed. Lenny Kravitz’s house had Pop-Tarts. Lenny Kravitz had cable. “I just wanted to feel normal,” she said, “and the way my mother was raising me felt very abnormal, even though looking back, it was the coolest.”

Some time after moving to Miami, Zoë Kravitz told her father that she wanted to act. “My mom wanted me to wait until I was an adult to start working,” she said, but her dad felt differently.

“I’m a person who left home at 15,” Lenny Kravitz said. “I would do nothing but support my child in what she wanted to do, absolutely. And it was her decision.”

What everyone seems to be able to agree on is that this would have happened no matter what — that sooner or later Zoë Kravitz would be doing what she’s doing right now.

“I mean, look, she’s a mad artist,” Shailene Woodley said in a phone interview. “Zoë’s constantly looking at the world around her, thinking, ‘How can I leave this place better than it was when I got here? How can I continue to use my talents and gifts as a singer, as a writer, as an actor in a way that’s meaningful and impactful for future generations and have fun doing it?’”

Woodley was calling from London, while preparing for a dinner party. Even as the sound of arriving guests became audible over the phone, she kept on singing her friend’s praises.

“I think — not ‘I think’ — I know one of Zoë’s major superpowers is that she’s funny as hell,” Woodley said, using a different four-letter word. “People don’t realize how funny Zoë Kravitz is. They see her and they see this super-hip, cool girl. But her superpower is humor and comedy and understanding the complexities of life and somehow morphing them in a way that polarizes drama and humor. As a creator I think that’s what gets her ticking.”

Zoë Kravitz is an executive producer of “High Fidelity” as well as its star, and the show — funny and poignant and surprisingly personal — feels like a product of the sensibility that Woodley described. Kravitz, who attended high school in New York and has fond memories of loitering after school in grubby record shops like Kim’s Video and Music, the bygone East Village institution, said she’d long been a fan of the book and particularly of Stephen Frears’ film version from 2000, which starred John Cusack as Rob and Lisa Bonet as a singer with whom he rebounds.

“For some reason,” she said, “‘High Fidelity’ was one of the few pieces of art that my parents had been a part of that I was really able to separate from them. It’s a weird thing, because it can be really uncomfortable and strange watching your mom kiss John Cusack or whatever, but it became a film that I loved and watched and could quote.”

Sarah Kucserka, who developed the Hulu series with Veronica West, said when they brainstormed leads, “the top of the list — pie in the sky, it’s never going to happen — was Zoë.” Kucserka noted, “She has a lot of depth, and that was what this character needed. You couldn’t come at it with someone who only brought one thing to the party.”

Hornby was only dimly aware that a TV version of “High Fidelity” was in the works. But last year, Kravitz asked if they could meet. “She seemed to have a lot invested in it,” Hornby said, “and was restless in her urge to get it as close to what she wanted as she could.” She asked for, and received, his blessing.

“One of the things I’m most proud of about the book,” Hornby said, “is that — I’ve realized this more and more over the years — it’s not just about me. It’s not just about people like me. It’s about way more people than I thought.”

In the initial script, the main character lived in Los Angeles and would have worked at a radio station. Kravitz proposed moving it to New York, and into a dusty basement record shop. Those choices, she said, helped determine other aspects of the show, like setting the story in Crown Heights, a part of Brooklyn where a dusty basement record shop and its owner could realistically survive. (Kravitz, who married the actor Karl Glusman last June, has lived in Williamsburg for more than 10 years, long enough to watch gentrification transform it; her favorite bagel shop is now an Apple Store.)

The staff of the record store now consists of two women of color (Kravitz’s Rob and Da’Vine Joy Randolph of “Dolemite Is My Name”) and a shy, gay man (David Holmes). When Rob runs down her top five heartbreaks in flashback, the list includes women as well as men.

None of this, Kravitz said, was about clearing some imaginary bar for wokeness. They just wanted a cast that looked real.

“I was trying to recreate a world that I know,” Kravitz said, “and that’s what it looks like. It doesn’t look like a bunch of white girls, like the show ‘Girls,’” whose portrayal of New York-area hipsterdom struck many viewers — Kravitz included — as demographically specious.

“If that show was in Iowa or something, fine, but you’re living in Brooklyn,” she said. “There’s people of color everywhere. It’s unavoidable. Same thing with Woody Allen — like, how do you not have black people in your movies? It’s impossible. They’re everywhere. We’re everywhere. I’m sorry, but we’re everywhere.”

Kravitz acknowledged that there might be reflexive resistance to the idea of a gender-flipped “High Fidelity,” as there is to gender-flipped anything, among a certain class of consumers. “I think a lot of white men who identified with the book think it’s theirs,” Kravitz said, “and are ready for us to screw it up, and are going to have trouble seeing it in a different light. But I think if they get past that thing, they’ll see that we actually really did honor the property, I think.”

This kind of conversation is good practice — Kravitz is about to fly to London and shoot a movie in which she plays an iconic comic-book character, and she’s aware that any attachment “High Fidelity” fans may have to an idea of Rob Gordon pales in comparison to the proprietary feelings contemporary nerddom harbors regarding Batman.

“As long as I don’t allow it to get in the way of what I need to do to find this character and make her my own, so that it can be as authentic as possible, I welcome all the fans and their opinions and their love for this world,” she said, with a diplomatic smile.

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gyrlversion · 5 years

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Here’s What Diehard Disney Fans Think About These Live-Action Remakes

If it seems like Disney has been making a more aggressive push lately to turn its animated classics into live-action films, it’s because it has been — and the company hasn’t been subtle about it, either. After the success of 2016’s The Jungle Book and 2018’s Beauty and the Beast, Disney has doubled down on its commitment to breathe new life into its animated movies. In 2019 alone, Dumbo, Aladdin, and The Lion King all received the live-action treatment (though, The Lion King is more of a CGI animation than a live-action production), with many more adaptations in the works. But while some OG fans of the classics are thrilled that their favorite tales are being revamped with a greater emphasis on inclusivity, others are a bit more skeptical about Disney’s decision to dive in deep with the remakes.

So what is it that critics have against Disney’s colossal wave of live-action adaptations? For some, they think it’s a sign that one of Hollywood’s most revolutionary studios is running out of fresh ideas. And rather than putting in the work to come up with new stories it hopes fans will enjoy, it’s much easier for the corporation to continue with the same old classic tales that have been successful in the past. Why? Because Disney owns the intellectual property of all its animated classics, which basically means the company can continue to remake as many versions of these same stories as it would like, in perpetuity.

To some, this decision to re-tell the same stories using real actors and CGI effects comes off as uninspired, and several people feel that it doesn’t at all exude the type of creativity and innovativeness that Disney’s known for. “The things that made the movies classic, and great were the expressiveness, and personality,” Adam Martinez, a fan of the classic movies, tweeted, “and I’ve yet to watch a ‘live action’ one that matches or exceeds the originals quality. Why? It’s not original.”

But loyal fans of the animated classics aren’t turned off solely because Disney appears to be taking the easy road to financial success. In her review of The Lion King, Kendra James of The Verge wrote, “The new Lion King will make a lot of money, and hopefully, some of that money can be used to make films that have more artistic integrity, narrative ambition, and bare reason to exist.” And that seems to be the general consensus among some fans, as well. By recycling old tales, some feel that Disney is using their millennial audience’s unceasing desire for nostalgia to lure them back to the box office. “We live in an age where the majority of the millennial generation was born and raised on the Disney classics,” Anthony Cain, a critic of Disney’s live-action trend, told MTV News. “Instead of trying new and interesting things, they play it safe.”

Though, even critics of Disney’s live-action slate understand that it’s all part of the company’s well thought-out marketing strategy. Disney knows exactly what it’s doing by making new iterations of beloved films that were released decades ago. After all, fans of the classics have already developed deep, emotional connections to the characters and storylines, and if they know that they feel fondly about a particular film, there’s a greater chance Disney will make a significant return on its investment — and a new generation of parents will share these beloved films with their children, creating new memories and future Disney fans. “They know millennial parents will take their kids to see these movies, then show their kids the originals, then start the process all over again,” Cain added. Savvy business strategy or not, isn’t any well-crafted film that brings families together in the movie theater worth celebrating?

It’s also worth noting that the classics aren’t going anywhere. Diehard fans of the animated movies can still watch them at their leisure. And as some people on social media have pointed out, there are actually a lot of benefits to remaking these adored animated movies. For example, as we’ve seen with Halle Bailey’s recent casting in the upcoming live-action version of The Little Mermaid, creating updated versions of these films offers Disney an opportunity to present these classic tales in a more inclusive way. And considering the first Black princess arrived in 2009 with The Princess and the Frog, we can all agree that these stories could use an extra dose of inclusivity — even if there are naysayers on the internet who insist that Ariel, a fictional mermaid, needs to be white and have red hair.

The impending remake of Mulan also offers the company the chance to retell the inspiring tale in a more accurate and respectful way — helmed by Niki Caro, the second woman to solo direct a Disney movie with a $100 million-plus budget. In the live-action version, Disney will do away with the songs from the animated classic, Mulan’s original love interest Captain Li Shang, and yes, dragon pal Mushu and the cricket, too. And while those elements certainly added some extra flair, ultimately, many people agree that they’re just not necessary. “The original Disney movie was beautiful and had iconic songs and hilarious sidekicks, which I know resonated with people…” Clara Sia, a supporter of the Mulan remake, tweeted. “That version still exists. You can watch it any time you want. A version more respectful to my culture won’t cancel that movie. There’s room for this.”

Still, there will always be diehard fans of the animated versions who insist that if these movies get the live-action treatment, the plot and the characters need to stay as close to the classics as possible, à la Beauty and the Beast and The Lion King. But as some fans on social media have aptly pointed out, maybe these live-action remakes aren’t for the fans of the classics. Maybe they’re for an entirely new generation of Disney fans who want to see female leads that not only look like them, but that empower them, too. “[Mulan] looks like it could be a game-changer for Disney,” Myan Mercado, a loyal fan of Mulan, told MTV News. “I think she’ll end up being a lot of little girls’ favorite — if she isn’t already.”

In addition to the obvious need for Disney stories headed by diverse female leads, another argument is that live-action versions are downright entertaining — and not to mention, extremely advanced — which should be enough of a reason for them to exist. Technology has evolved tremendously since we watched the animated movies as starry-eyed kids, and with all the progress that has been made with effects, some fans really appreciate the opportunity to watch these tales come to life in a different way. “I think it’s a no-brainer to come out with live-action remakes,” Megan Lapinski, a longtime Disney fan, told MTV News. “It’s the perfect balance between the classic Disney stories and new age technology that makes it all really impressive.”

Overall, fans of the classics have mixed opinions about Disney’s decision to go full force with these new adaptations. Though, that won’t exactly keep them from their local theaters on opening weekend. These stories defined their childhoods, and bringing them back in a different form offers an escape to their youth that they likely feel they wouldn’t be able to get anywhere else. “Some us of us just want a simple escape and [to] remember what it was like as a carefree kid watching these,” Lapinski said. “It’s amazing to me how a movie can bring up so many past feelings and emotions.”

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twentysomethinginorlando · 7 years

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Mickey's Dapper Birthday

New Post has been published on https://twentysomethinginorlando.com/mickeys-dapper-birthday/

Mickey's Dapper Birthday

I became a Cast Member in 2013, but I don’t remember anything about Dapper Day before the spring of 2014. That’s okay, I also didn’t know what Disneybounding was until right before I moved. Don’t worry, I’m going to explain Disneybounding later in this article if you don’t know what it is. My first experience with Dapper Day involved a fourteen-hour shift at the World Famous Jungle Cruise, and one of my favorite memories as a Cast Member. (That is a story I’m saving for the newsletter early next year, so subscribe now if you haven’t already!)

Dapper Day is a semi-annual event held at both Disneyland and Walt Disney World, and once a year at Disneyland Paris. The event began in 2011 in California and rapidly grew in popularity. The idea is that you come to the parks in your “Sunday Best”, essentially how it was originally envisioned the guests would dress coming to Disneyland in the 1950s and 1960s. Your dress doesn’t necessarily need to be vintage, just stylish. The events are not actually put on by Disney themselves, though they have gotten more involved as the event has grown. In Spring 2016, the last Dapper Day I attended, Disney didn’t officially have anything special for event. Spring 2017, they had special cupcakes, corsages and all sorts of things. Fall 2017 was a little different, as something else was overshadowing Dapper Day.

Last year, they started making Walt Disney World’s Dapper Day a two-day event, but I only planned on doing the Magic Kingdom day.

Somewhere along the line as I was planning out my year, I realized Day One of this year’s Dapper Day would fall on Mickey Mouse’s birthday. I immediately knew I wanted to theme my Dapper Day outfit around my favorite incarnation of the Mouse, the Sorcerer’s Apprentice.

Enter Disneybounding. Disneybounding is the idea of theming your outfit around a certain character. Created by Leslie Kay, Disneybounding has quite the following on Tumblr. Since anyone over the age of twelve isn’t allowed to wear a costume to the Disney Parks, this is how many people find ways to still be their favorite character. I wish I Disneybounded more often, but it typically calls for a lot of solid colors and most my clothes already have Disney characters printed on them. However, for Dapper Day this year, I knew I would be Disneybounding Sorcerer Mickey.

I hunted around online for a 1950s style red dress that I liked, not fully sure how I was going to make this work until I stumbled across one particular design. I literally recolored it in Paint since the computer I was on at the time didn’t have Photoshop and sent it to my friend Polly. She’s an awesome costumer and has been helping me with projects (and occasionally keeping me sane) since 2010. You can check out her blog, $20 Lolita, where she talks about making Budget, Offbrand and DIY Lolita clothing. I know we talked about her putting the dress on it at some point, but as of publishing I haven’t seen it on there yet.

My outfit was settled, Duffy would wear his sailor outfit, and now it was time to figure out Jay’s. I originally wanted him to go as Steamboat Willie, but he thought it would be a little boring, but also look strikingly like his Gangster outfit from Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party. I agreed on at least the second point, and we spent the day before the event hunting for an outfit for him. At JC Penny inspiration struck, and Jay would soon be the Yensid to my apprentice.

The morning of Dapper Day, my alarm went off at 3:50 a.m. If you’ve ever paid attention to my photos, you might have noticed I have all of three hair styles, and on the rare occasion I wear make-up, it always looks the same. Our friend Victoria was kind enough to agree to do my hair and make-up for Dapper Day, but she had to work at 7:30 a.m. This meant I had to be at her house at 5 a.m. Well, I overshot by half an hour and she did an amazing job anyway.

The Disney Parks Blog had been advertising a special moment in the Welcome Show for Mickey’s Birthday, and we made it just in time. However, I should have known not to get my hopes up. The “special moment” was literally the Squire saying, “Happy Birthday, Mickey!”

Now that the park was officially open, we popped over to ride the Haunted Mansion. Then it was time to hit as many characters as possible: Alice, Merida, Ariel, and Snow White all before 10 a.m. I carried my heels between characters and switched into a flimsy pair of flats that folded up to fit in my bag.

We tried to go to Storybook Circus, but apparently, they don’t open until 10 a.m. these days. After Snow White, we waited in the twenty-minute-or-s0 line for Starbucks because we were both badly in need of caffeine, and more importantly, I had a gift card. I saw the special Steamboat Willie Cheesecake on display, but decided that much sugar so early in the morning would likely spell disaster and we grabbed pretzels at the Hub instead. While we were in line for the pretzels, a girl who was not Dapper, but covered in Duffy from head to foot caught my eye and I probably stared longer than was polite.

At the entrance to Liberty Square there are benches on either side. We grabbed one and sat down to eat our pretzels. We wound up sitting there people watching for about half an hour, checking out all the Dapper Day outfits as they went by. Other dressed up guests would smile and nod or wave, and some even called, “Happy Dapper Day!” Shortly after we sat down, “Mickey’s Friendship Faire” started and we could see about half the stage. I’ve seen the show countless times, but I love the music so we stayed until the end.

We went to see the pop-up shop at Box Office Gifts for the official Dapper Day merchandise. The creator of Dapper Day was there, Justin Jorgensen, and I wanted to get a picture with him but it was busy and hectic, and I wound up deciding not to bother him. It was really cool to see the clothing in person, even if it was out of my price range.

Nine times out of ten, if I’m walking up or down Main Street, I cut through the Emporium. It’s air-conditioned, there’s no sun, and you never know what you might find. In this case, someone found me. The girl with the Duffy stuff spotted me again, and came up to introduce herself. Turns out she’s a blogger too! We traded business cards and she gave me a little folded up piece of paper of Duffy! As small and simple as it was, it was probably my favorite part of the day.

One of the many great photo spots we found.

When I originally planned our Fastpasses thirty days in advance it never occurred to me we would be there for park open, so none of our Fastpasses were until the afternoon. At least this left us with a nice, slow morning to take our time doing what we wanted. We wandered around the park a bit looking for fun photo spots, and had to abort one location just as we arrived because Joey Quintin had posted where he was doing his first button giveaway on Instagram, and I didn’t know how quickly he’d run out. Joey is an amazing artist I encountered at MegaCon, and he was doing button giveaways for Dapper Day. The line was super long when we got there, and I didn’t expect to have so much pressure as I picked our buttons. I froze, and later thought of four other designs I would have rather picked. Oh well. They’re still wonderful!

We went back to Storybook Circus to find Minnie and Daisy’s line at forty minutes and Donald and Goofy’s at twenty-five. We picked the boys since meeting Daisy is always awkward for me anyway. (She took Duffy’s spot at Epcot, I’m still bitter.)

After the Circus, we went to ride the Carousel. Well, I rode the Prince Charming Regal Carousel. Jay stood on the outside and took pictures. Riding sidesaddle is strange, and I’m a little surprised the Cast Members allowed it.

Finally, it was time for our first Fastpass and we made the extremely short, about twelve foot, trip to Princess Fairy Tale Hall. We jumped in the line for Rapnuzel and Tiana, and everything was going great until we were done. I went to switch back out of my heels to the flats when I felt something come undone in the dress.

The zipper had gotten stuck that morning, and we’d used a couple of safety pins to close it under the belt. Jay went to check, and sure enough the safety pins were now all bent and useless.

“I don’t know how to fix this,” Jay said.

“I think I do.”

I headed over to Bippity Boppity Boutique. Who better to fix a wardrobe malfunction than a Fairy God-Mother in Training? I explained the situation to Corley and she immediately went running off. She came back with a handful of safety pins and a few rubber bands. Jay and I popped over into a gift shop so he could repin the dress, and everything was good as new in no time!

We headed over to get in line for Winnie the Pooh, and there was no one there. He’d be back in half an hour, so we sat down on the wall to wait.

I don’t think I’ve ever had a Photopass Photographer take so many photos. There were twenty-four of them when we were done! Pooh took Duffy from me, and wanted to keep him, but I said no. Then Tigger was mad he wasn’t getting any attention and pulled me to dance while Jay and Pooh conspired to hide my Duffy Bear. Needless to say, I got him back before we left and some amazing photos.

It was finally time for our Mickey Mouse Fastpass, and we were both exhausted. Jay was breaking in a new pair of shoes, and my flats were so thin I might as well have been barefoot. We decided to skip our last Fastpass after 5 p.m. for Cinderella and Elena, and make seeing the Birthday Boy our last stop. We swung over to Pecos Bill to get the Steamboat Willie Cheesecake with my annual pass discount, only to find them sold out. I got them to check the other venues in the park offering it, everywhere was sold out. I was more disappointed than I probably should have been. I love both cookies and cream, and cheesecake! Jay was right, we should have just gotten it at Starbucks that morning.

When we got into the room to see Mickey, he wasn’t there yet and the character attendant got everyone to sing him “Happy Birthday” as he came in. It was adorable! The line was moving super quick and it was our turn in no time. There will never be a day I’m not excited to see Mickey Mouse, and I’m so glad I got to tell him “Happy Birthday!” in person.

We headed for the monorail and made our way out of the Ticket and Transportation Center, eager to get home and dump the photos from my camera.

Dapper Day is an awesome time, and one of the few special events at Walt Disney World that doesn’t require a separate admission ticket. This was the second year I’ve gotten to do it, and I hope to be doing it again in the future. Sadly, both the Spring and Fall events fall in the same month as RunDisney races, and there’s only so many weekends I can take off at a time. I think I like the Spring event better just because the Christmas music was majorly throwing me off and the decorations on Main Street made photos a little more challenging.

I do already have plans for another outing with my dress, but it will be sometime next year at the earliest.

Cost: Park admission.

Value: I have a harder time scoring the value on this one because it’s not something you pay for, but I definitely think it’s something every Disney fan should do at least once!

Duration: All day.

Add Ons: You could do both days, or they had an event at Paddlefish on Friday this time at Disney Springs. According to the Dapper Day website, they have more expansions planned for Walt Disney World!

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#characters #cosplay #disney #magic kingdom #mickey mouse #Adventure Report

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