#but I felt this whole adventure deserved a post like this because of how much its impacted my online life

[elkyralt]

I'm going to write this now as I'm watching the goodbye stream, to add my two cents and whatnot.

The community has always been a huge part of the project, if we put the actual server aside for one second. The fanart, fanfics, headcannons, theories, comics, analysis, videos, memes, all of it was just as important as the actual players and server happening. The community was as much the lifeblood of the project as the actors involved were, and for that I can give a big thank you to all of you in the QSMP tag reblogging and creating under QSMPblr. I've adored each passing moment here - that including the rougher eras because as a community I've seen very measured responses from people truly passionate about the purpose the QSMP was there to serve - to unite communities.

As I'm watching Quackity talking about the fact that even if the QSMP as a project has ended, his desire in bridging cultural and language gaps is still present and something he wants to continue creating for. So yes, even if the server is currently ending, what has been achieved will forever be present. I'd never even thought that I'd be in a community with so many different nationalities who are not afraid to express themselves in their own languages and cultures, and especially I'd never thought that I'd be eagerly waiting to congratulate mutuals on their national holidays and things like that. In that, it's made me want to get closer to my own culture since I've never really properly grown up where I come from and I think that is something to be cherished.

I'd never thought I'd rekindle my passion for language learning and now be able to watch videos and streams in Spanish to understand the majority of what's being said and laugh along in chat, nevermind that same passion being rekindled or created for thousands of others. We have so many languages here and it's insane to even think about isn't it? People in the community that speak: Portugese, French, English, Spanish, German, Korean and probably more! I've been trilingual for the major part of my life, and have known Italian really well for a long time on top of that, but the QSMP as a whole has opened up my perspective on language like I'd never thought anything could.

THAT BEING SAID. Thank you to the creators involved in the project. It was clear to me as early as from the first days - before the translator - when the creativity and passion of the creators broke through those initial barriers and helped form the meaningful connections we find today. The roleplayers that created stories and characters very near and dear to me are absolutely to be praised, personally, I'd say q!Cellbit, q!Roier and q!Etoiles are my favourite characters to come out of this and those that I will keep creating and blogging about. Every character that came out of this is incredible though, everyone even down to Jorgito the IV drip and Posolito the capybara are utterly, indisputably, definantly: peak. Im greatful to the duos or groups that have emerged thanks to the translator and opportunity, just a few examples being: Cellbit and Roier, Badboy and YD, Pierre and Maximus, Etoiles and Phil, Missa and Phil, Cellbit and Baghera, Tubbo and Pac, etcetera! All of these connections between CCs were really entertaining to watch, and all due to the QSMP.

ALSO THAT BEING SAID. Thank you to the actors behind the scenes doing as much of a part as the streamers themselves. The eggs were all absolutely wonderful as NPCs and breathed life into the server like no other. All of them, all portrayed such different characters with realistic personalities and struggles that to me have always been stupendous at staying in character at all points. Lullah, Chayanne, Richas, Tupperware (Dapper), Patitas de cheto (Bobby), Leo, Tillin, Juanna, Trump, Chunsik, Em, Pepito, Sunny, all of you eggos have made the QSMP an unforgettable experience, and you admins deserve to get recognition. Massive thanks also go to the designers, writers, actors and managers behind the project as well, just as important in keeping the server running and fresh in how it was.

General thanks to the project for achieving what it has. Uniting communities, creating an incredibly story and characters, opening mine and other's eyes to more diverse cultures, rekindling passion for language learning and just so much more shit I could talk about for hours. This server has been an incredible ride, but that doesn't mean I'm leaving it completely.

Of course, the QSMP was by no means perfect and I'm not trying to make it out to be. It has it's issues and I'm completely aware of that. I think the impact and beauty the server has had is something to be celebrated regardless because it's something on a scale not done before.

I'm still going to be here, posting and creating about this SMP even after it closes. I'm still gonna be here posting silly clips and making long posts like this one that will maybe get 5 notes - but that's fine with me. I'm proud to be part of this community and experience as a whole, since Day fucking 1 - and I regret none of it. To all the people I've met over this thank you so much for being the people you are, keep creating and learning.

Thank you, QSMP, QSMPblr and Quackity Studios.

[sleepy-grav3]

The Moon Child Part 2

Part 1

A/n: Wow. I posted the first part to this and you guys like- rushed to it like starving animals holy SHIT... Should I be scared???? anyway- here ya go

Summary: Danny meets the Aqua Family and gets the love he deserves, plus a little comfort.

Tw: hurt/comfort, bad parents, mentioned discrimination, angst, ghost animal cruelty, swears, objectification, fluff

I forgot to mention Danny goes by he/they pronouns, Atlanteans know a lot of animals, and gender is weird sometimes so they aren't assuming anything and that's fair since Danny could shapeshift if he wants

The Moon Child Part 2 - The Moon Loves the Sea

Warm. He felt warm while in his core. And he could feel the soft cushion he was placed on. He heard the stories that Aquaman Arthur would tell him about all of his adventures and the rambles about his family. He was even told the secret about his stepbrother, Orm, who's death was faked and now lived on land.

It was... nice. Safe. He hadn't felt so loved in a long time. Or, at least, he thinks he hasn't. He had lost track of time while in the labs. It was painful to think about. Visibly so. Apparently, when he drifted into those dreadful terrors, his core's soft light would flicker into a dimmer one which resonated with his sobs. Arthur or his wife, who would keep him beside them at all times, would pick him up each time and hold him close to their heart.

"It's alright" They would say. "You're safe now."

Their heartbeat would always calm him down. It pulsed out reassuring feelings with each beat of their hearts. It was soothing and he never felt so safe. Not even when he was alive. To think he needed to die to feel this way.

It took a while for the pain to finally go away, but he soon felt ready to come out of his core. He couldn't recuperate as much as he wanted to. Not to use his full abilities of his ghost powers. No, there wasn't a massive supply of ambient ectoplasm like in Amity. He learned that what he was absorbing the most was the magic, which acted as a saline solution to blood (which he was pretty sure his blood was fully ectoplasm now).

It was interesting how magic tied in with ectoplasm. He wondered if that's why summoning worked best for those in the realms for that reason. Maybe the specific rituals to summon them even tied closely with their ecto-signatures? It's an interesting thought really.

That isn't the point though. What is, is that he was healthy enough to come out of his core.

"Ok, Danny. Deep breath. Here we go-"

-

Arthur was doing his usual thing: struggling to wake up in the morning and only really doing it because he didn't want to worry the literal spirit of a god. And it's not even because they're a god, but because they're a child. Should he have kept them in the same room. He feels like that might've been a better choice than just leaving them in a room next to his.

Arthur shook his head, rubbing his eyes as he swung his legs over the edge only to jump at the cold feeling of the floor.

"All kinds of water magic and they still can't stop the floor from being cold."

He huffed, getting up and picking out some casual wear that didn't have a bunch of jewelry with protection runes. Some normal clothes to hang out with family.

Kaldur came back yesterday, so they're having breakfast together. He hoped that he'd believe the whole moon deity thing. Kaldur was pretty good and believing new things, but this was their main religion they're talking about. Religion is iffy, or at least it was for those on land. The ocean folk are... extremely loyal.

Should he worry about them trying to destroy the new moon...?

He shook his head. No, they probably couldn't get past the layers of the atmosphere. Hopefully.

He walked out of the door, now thinking about how sea creatures would even pull that off before knocking on the door of the room next to his.

"It is uh, me. Again." It never sounds less awkward. Maybe I should try adding the dramatics?

And with a twist and push, he opened the door only to freeze with widening eyes. The stone wasn't there.

"Oh my god- I lost-"

Only to hear a chirp. he flinched, attention darting over to the full body mirror on the other side of the door that pushed into the room. A door he was going to have fixed to avoid heart attacks like these.

He let out a huge sigh of relief, walking over and bending down with a crooked grin.

"Well, good morning. I didn't expect you to appear for a while. But hey! Perfect timing! Kaldur's going to be joining us during breakfast today, so we could introduce you guys! We could meet Orm soon too! I bet he'll be absolutely surprised!"

The child only looked at him with their big wide doe eyes. Hope sparked in them, but anxiety kept their body tense.

"You... You were serious about it? About me meeting your family?"

Arthur placed a hand on their shoulder, he could barely notice the cool temperature of their body before he saw them jump. He was going to pull away his hand, but then the child relaxed a bit more. It was as if they hadn't had affectionate physical contact in a long time.

"Have they ever been anything but a moon? Are all moons like this? What about other planets? Earth... we have so much pollution. If it were alive..., would it only just barely be clinging?"

"Yes, I was and still am. You're a part of it now for as long as we live. And even when we pass, you will continue to have a place in the ocean. You might not have realized this, but the ocean worships you like a god. In fact, I think I'm going to have to talk with the Justice League about offering an apology gift of some sort."

The child blinked, eyes wide and glistening as a layer of moisture sparkled more yet made the eye look foggy. Looking closer, Arthur could see how moonstones came to be when they cried. It would hurt if it was a literal stone the kid cried. Like- like kidney stones! He was thankful that it wasn't like that.

"You... You aren't scared of me being dangerous to them? You don't think I'm evil or non-sentient?"

Arthur blinked. What?

"No... Nobody- Why would anybody think that?"

The child pursed his lips into a thin line, averting his eyes. With each blink, a silvery white liquid would start to drip and condense to the moonstones he found.

"I... don't know how things work around here... But on land... I've... They don't respect the dead or those associated to the concept. I've tried to keep both sides from trying to destroy the other- but... but..."

Arthur took a breath, pulling the spirit into his arms into a tight embrace. They clung to their veil that was wrapped around their arms like a shawl.

It seems that he had some lore to read up upon and some things to investigate.

-

(This bit's about Danny's POV. It'll be continuing with his while he meets everyone)

Danny didn't know what to think when he looked at himself in the mirror earlier. He didn't have a shirt, but the scarf thing was comfy. He could make it into some kind of make-shift shirt if he wanted to too. His memory on how to do it was... foggy and fractured. Some parts of speech were muffled and what he saw from that time would blur or seemed made up.

He knew the person teaching him.

Why can't he remember them clearly? He could hear whispers of something in his head telling him who that was.

And when he pushed that thought aside, he'd look back at other memories and realize who that was.

Tucker. How could he ever forget about Tucker? Why was he forgetting him?

What made it worse was how much he had to stare at the damn mirror to get the knots right. His chest... it wasn't ever that clean. No Lichtenberg scars. No burns, no cuts, no incision scars. Nothing. It was clean of any of his failures. His struggles. His learning experiences.

And yet... he still imagined them being there. Each time his fingers would brush up against places where he knew scars should've been, a shot of pain would spike as if he'd been electrocuted.

It hurt.

He hated how he remembered.

He hated that he didn't.

He used to remember all of it. He did when he was sobbing for days on end.

Now, it was foggy. Now, it was hidden away. He couldn't reach it.

"Oh my god- I lost-"

He chirped in surprise, turning with widened eyes. Oh. It's just Arthur. I really need to get out of my head.

Arthur walked over, looking slightly drained, as if he was relieved of a sudden weight placed on his shoulders. And by the vibes, Danny's guess seemed right.

Relieved Happy Happy Excited Nervous Happy

He was always so cheery in the... well, what seemed to be the day. Sucks to be out now that he thought about it. It would be rude to just fall asleep at random now that they could physically see if he's awake or not.

Arthur greeted him warmly, cheerily saying how he didn't expect him to come out of his core as if the event was a surprise gift. That... was confusing to say the least. It's easier to have a pet rock than a guest. Now he has to feed him to be polite, or at least offer. He has the room covered since the beginning. It was a really big room. A waste for something someone like him.

He felt his body freeze and start muffling sounds when Arthur started mentioning Kaldur and Orm. His family. Close ones, from the stories he would tell.

M4Dd13 and J4Ck would never allow strangers near him, much less Jazz.

"You... You aren't scared of me being dangerous to them?" He couldn't stop the questions from slipping out even when his expression shifted. "You don't think I'm evil or non-sentient?"

He doesn't even know how he could even think of himself as otherwise. He could remember the custom-made, high voltage tasers that targets his ecto-signature itself until he acted how they expected him to. How they wanted him to.

His eyesight became extremely cloudy. It was similar to the green he'd see before he would start crying after he couldn't cry water anymore.

Ghosts... Ghosts cry ectoplasm. What... What was he crying? What is he now? He was- Why wasn't he gone? He was Ended, wasn't he? They got rid of his heart and crushed his core to determine the durability- there wasn't a way to come back from that.

So why was he alive?

Why can't he-

"-think that?"

Shit- he wasn't paying attention.

Danny couldn't bare to look at the man, guilt eating away at him.

"I... don't know how things work around here..."

He could barely register that it was his voice.

"But on land... I've..."

Why was he still touching his shoulder?

Why isn't he disgusted?

Why isn't he scared?

Why isn't he angry?

"They don't respect the dead or those associated to the concept. I've tried to keep both sides from trying to destroy the other- but... but..."

But they destroyed me instead.

It was all for nothing.

Why didn't he listen to the Ancients?

Why did he just kill people?

They already expected him to do so anyway.

So why didn't he?

He couldn't feel the hug he was pulled into until he stopped crying.

What was he even crying about?

-

Ok so- Maybe Danny should start scheduling his breakdowns. So far, he's had ones at random or ones that goes on for multiple days without any stopping. Or- if he did stop, he really doesn't remember them.

But this is getting embarrassing. He was lucky Kaldur came home late or else they might've either came late or completely missed the breakfast reunion.

Ugh- and don't get him started with anxiety.

His eyes must be puffy or something. Great first impression, Danny! All ya gotta do now is cry again in front of everyone to make it one of the worst introductions in life.

Well, it wasn't really a good start even without him. Arthur had just dropped him onto a very cushiony chair and exclaimed: "Thank the seas! I'm starving!" And just went to devour a whole plate before calming down a bit with Mera scolding him.

He was just awkwardly watching until a plate was placed in front of him. He slightly tensed, attention going from his plate to the hand pulling away from the plate now that it was down. That's when his eyes made contact with Kaldur's. He seemed a bit startled to, as he blinked owlishly before smiling politely.

"Hello, I'm Kaldur'Ahm. You may call me Kaldur."

"U-um.. I'm..." What should he be called now? Phantom didn't feel as right anymore. Ah, what the heck. It's not like they know little ol' Danny Fenton. "I'm Danny." For some reason, that name didn't feel too right either.

"It's a pleasure to meet you. I've heard that you've been in a stone, so I was surprised to see you carried in by fa- Arthur."

Curious Happy Happy Nervous

Danny relaxed a bit, turning to his plate once eye contact became too difficult. He picked at his food

"I didn't have much strength when I first formed. I wasn't meant to even have a body but I... didn't want to be discovered and have my core cut up and carved into for some jewelry or something, so I forced myself. you could say it's like... an energy conservation form."

Danny started to actually eat his food, though a bit quicker than he usually would. Stress eating, how lovely.

"Is it a lot of work to stay as you are now? You don't have to stay like this if you're too drained." Kaldur started to fret for him, looking for any sign of strain.

Danny, feeling the worry from him, smiled. It's been a while since someone was worried for him.

"I recovered enough energy that I have a bit extra. I can't do a lot of the things I could before, but I don't feel any pain anymore. So, I'll be fine."

Kaldur relaxed a bit, though still held a slight frown.

"Tell me if you ever feel anything. I'm more than able to hold onto your core and protect you."

Danny hummed, continuing to eat. That's about the time Kaldur remembered that it was breakfast time and started- no, continued to eat from his plate. He must've served himself when Arthur started to or even before that.

"Hey hey hey! Now that the kid's awake, why don't we take a family trip toooooooooo" He dragged out the word as Mera glared at him. "-my brother's grave! I bet he'd love to meet you! And on the way, we can go to the burger place and shop for some clothes, meet my dad-"

Danny looked over at Kaldur, who shook his head fondly at his obvious father-figure. Really, that slip up wasn't getting past him, no way, not possible.

"Don't mind him." Mera sighed. "He's an idiot."

"Hey!"

"Danny, you could always say no. We could go a different day." Kaldur mentioned.

"Danny?" Arthur questioned. Mera rolled her eyes.

"Pay attention, will you?"

"No, it's fine." Danny shook his head with a nervous smile. "I'd like to see him too."

"GREAT!" Arthur exclaimed, making Danny jump and Kaldur wince at the volume. "Hurry and finish your meals! I'll call over the pups!" and then he ran off.

"Pups?" Danny asked.

"Sharks." Mera clarified with a fond sigh. "Ever since he heard someone call them sea puppies, he's been calling them pups and puppies ever since."

"That's... really cute actually." Danny snickered.

"He sneaks away to play with them all the time." Kaldur groaned, remembering the number of meetings he had to take over for the man.

Danny reached over and patted Kaldur's forearm.

"You poor child."

"At least you understand."

-

Kaldur... well, Danny didn't really know how to put it. He was really nice and all, but he was a bit...

"These earrings would look great on you." Kaldur hummed as he held up dangling pearls to his ears.

Kaldur's already bought 3 bags of stuff for him in the last 20 minutes since coming to Reef Town (completely made-up place, just go with it). He even had to adjust his ghost clothes so he could wear the pants and shirt, and other stuff that were bought for him. He still kept the veil since it was really soft and soothed him when he rubbed it between his fingers.

"Ah, but this goes with your clothing... Perhaps we should order one to be made in Atlantis?" Kaldur trailed off, mumbling about different shops and what materials they had along with design names Danny had no clue about. He was almost sure that some of those words were made-up with how they sounded.

"Oookaaayyy- how about we think this over later?" Arthur insisted, a hand on Kaldur's shoulder and the other taking away the earrings in his hands. "We have someone to meet in... about 5 minutes."

"Right, sorry! I got distracted-"

"You're fine, you little urchin." Arthur chuckled, pushing Kaldur towards the door. "Now let's go meet Orm!"

Danny felt a hand on his head. It was a gentle, motherly touch. It nearly made his core let out a purr. Only Jazz could do that with touch alone. Though he nearly started to do the same when they'd mark where they'd cut next. They didn't do that as often with how much they liked to see his organs and bones regenerate.

"Tell Kaldur if it's too much. He's just really excited to have you around and is used to having to give something to keep sea creature friends around."

Ah, he knew that voice.

"Ex..cited? Why?" Danny looked up at Mera, leaning into her touch.

Mera smiled down sweetly at him; her eyes were filled with love that would be pointed to her own child.

She didn't have that drunken lust M4Dd13 had in her eyes each time she came back.

It made his core flutter.

"He sees you as a younger sibling. He's wanted one for a little while now. I... I can't get myself to try again, so he didn't expect to have a sibling. He was really excited to meet you after he heard that you agreed to stay with Arthur. You didn't reject my touch either. I hope it was fine that I held your... core, was it?"

Danny felt her finger card through his hair. He melted at the soothing touch.

"Yeah. It's... it's everything to a ghost. Heart and soul. And... I heard about you from Arthur while I was in my core. And you were the reason Arthur knew to comfort me. So, I knew I could trust you."

Mera smiled a bit more brightly and knelt down, hands holding his face with all the love in the world before she placed a kiss on his forehead.

"I'm glad. Now, let's go catch up with the boys. I'm sure Kaldur and Arthur must be panicking."

Danny could barely follow after her, having to make himself float as she grabbed his hand to lead him outside. Everything was too fuzzy and happy; it was hard to focus.

-

"Did you kidnap a child spirit?!"

That was the first thing Orm said when he saw Danny, immediately looking at Arthur incredulously as he slammed the table with his hands.

He immediately walked over and knelt down in front of Danny.

"I am so sorry about him-"

"Hey! I didn't-"

"-he's an idiot and really doesn't know any better."

"I didn't kidnap him!"

Orm arched a brow at his brother before looking over at Mera.

"No contracts were made."

Orm looked back at Danny.

"You went with him willingly?"

Danny snickered. "He looked like an idiot."

"You too?!"

"You really can't blame him." Kaldur agreed, smiling over at Danny.

Danny giggled and looked back at Orm.

"I'm Danny."

"Orm, that idiot's older brother. Stepbrother. Now, why did a saintly spirit decide to tag along with this family?"

Mera walked over, placing a hand on Danny's head again. He leaned into it, barely able to keep in a purr.

"You remember the incident with the moon?" Orm nodded. "Well, they're the spirit of the moon."

Orm's eyes widened, head snapping right back to Danny.

"You- you're-"

Danny blinked. He's a what? Wait, not the time to dissociate-

"Is... Is that bad?" Danny hesitantly asked.

"No! Not at all- I just- I've always believed in you, it's just that- Seeing an idol is a bit of an experience-"

"An idol?" Danny questioned, looking up at Orm. He was still kneeling, doesn't that hurt?

"Well, I've heard stories about how you'd battle against the sun gods and sent blessed rain to heal those under incurable plagues. That you split your own soul to assist physically on this world to help those that roamed on it! I've traveled to different places on the land just to see your descendants. And what beautiful white features they have. Did you know that humans call them albinos?"

"Really?"

"Yes! They deserve a better name that fits the position of blessed descendants! The fools!"

"I-it's fine, really! I'm glad they're doing ok and- and that my blessing still lives on."

Orm sighed and stood up.

"You're much too kind. Even after they replaced you, you don't hold it against anyone."

Oddly enough, he felt his chest tighten. It was as if...

"Someone has to do my job in controlling the currents, right?" Danny smiled sadly.

The others seemed to feel sympathy for the spirit, Kaldur going over and pulling him into a hug.

"It's alright. The ocean will stand by your side. Forever. They still worship you even now. So don't think you were only a tool, ok?"

Danny nodded. "Ok.."

He fought back against the tears.

-----

A/n: well, that was a bit longer than the last one. I was planning to write more for this chapter, but I'll just add it to the next one. Sorry if it seems a bit stiff, it'll be better eventually... hopefully.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed.

[shychick-52]

Louie and Della's development (long post)

In honor of Louie and Della Day (which I'm a day late for), I thought I'd post my favorite scenes:

I always found it very interesting that in 'The Secret of Castle McDuck', Louie was the most upset and affected by Dewey keeping his investigation and findings about their mom a secret (and I love how it clearly sounds like he's holding back tears; fantastic reading by Bobby Moynihan).

"You kept a secret about Mom."

"That is not ok."

And when Della came back in 'Nothing Can Stop Della Duck', he thought it was way too good to be true, thinking it was "a trick, or a curse from Magica, or a parallel universe" (and it was perfect how the most street-smart and shifty triplet was immediately on his guard- because like he said in another episode, "You can't outcon a con"- and the thing is, his concerns were totally valid and not that farfetched after everything they've seen and experienced with Scrooge):

And I love how he couldn't keep up his reservations for more than a few seconds before tearfully embracing her with his brothers:

"Mom!"

And... ngl, that's why I hate how Louie immediately goes back to being skeptical, reserved, and forcing himself to be emotionally distant throughout nearly the rest of the episode, even after Della spoke from the bottom of her heart (before she began trying to bond with them):

"Boys, I don't know what to say. Except that I am so sorry I ever set foot on that rocket. I never meant to leave you... or miss your first steps... or potty-training..."

"What I'm trying to say is... for a decade, I have fought to get back to this family. And I will fight every day to be a part of it, if you'll have me."

Louie is still uncertain, and starts to say "I- I-" but the others eagerly embrace her and declare them to be a family again.

It always bothers me that Dewey had to force Louie's hand on top of Della's.

*Still speaking from her heart* "I missed you so much! You deserve to have the best mom and I'm going to be the best mom, starting right now!"

And YES, before anyone says it, I do get why Louie felt the way he did, especially being the most independent and cynical triplet:

"Hey, look, don't get me wrong. Of course I'm happy to have Mom back. I don't know, it's probably my fault... I've gone so long without a mom, I guess I don't really know how to have one?"

His feelings are absolutely understandable and valid, and she was still basically a stranger to him at that point- I mean, Donald kept them in the dark about their mom and her legacy (their whole family legacy) all their lives, and it took finding out their brother was secretly investigating her for him and Huey to find out more about her and the Spear of Selene- but it still disappoints me after how upset he was about Dewey keeping secrets about her, how he was so quick to emotionally accept her right after being so instinctively skeptical at first, and after her emotional, earnest speech to them.

It bothers me that it took her risking her life to save Louie to prove herself to him, or to realize she truly does care. Like, not only is she a veteran adventurer, but she's their mom- ofc she'd do that without thinking twice about it!

But I absolutely love her end speech and Louie's response. It didn't feel like a rehash of her speech from earlier in the episode, when you think about the conversation she overheard about them struggling to come to terms with having her in their lives (especially how Louie was the most skeptical):

"Huey. Dewey. Louie. I know you're not used to having a mom. And I am not used to being one. But I'll figure it out as we go along."

Louie: "We all will."

And I always get emotional during their conversation in the season 2 finale, "Moonvasion". It felt like not only a perfect conclusion to Louie's arc in that season, but the development of his and Della's relationship (including after all unfortunate drama starting in 'Timephoon') . Scared for their future because of the Moonvasion, Della is sadly humming her old lulaby as she looks at her drawing of her boys. Louie notices she's alone and apparently not doing so great, and actually feels comfortable enough to approach her about it:

"Hey, Mom."

"I drew this back when I had to imagine what you boys looked like."

"I think you really nailed Dewey."

"On the moon, all I could think about was being your mom. The adventure, the fun. I wasn't prepared for... all this."

Louie: "Look, I hate surprises. I like seeing every angle of a situation so I can take control of it. But you can't plan for everything... sometimes a robot boy uses you for a pinata."

Della: "I think I'm losing the thread here..."

Louie: "But sometimes the mom you thought you lost comes back. And that's a surprise too. So, you deal with bad surprises because they may lead to a good one."

"But what if Lunaris succeeds? What if I lose you again? What if-"

"You know, when I'm terrified- which is often- I try to remember this old song:

Face each new sun with eyes clear and true.

Unafraid of the unknown-"

Della: -"Because I'll face it all with you."

"I wrote that song before I got lost. How did you hear it?"

"Well, Uncle Donald used to sing it to us when we were little."

Not only does it beautifully fulfill the development in their relationship and allow them to move past the drama between them, not only does Louie reach incredible growth in his maturity, but it's Louie being the parent to Della... comforting her and offering her reassurance (and I love Louie showing a moment of weakness/vulnerability in admitting he often gets scared, which is not easy for him). A perfect way to conclude the second season, Louie's arc, and the development of Della's return to the family.

Thoughts?

[cheeserobin]

Suren Darga deserved better 2.0

clarification: this post is resubmitted because I had already touched this same topic in Spanish, everything is original.

WARNING: English is not my first language, I am sorry for any spelling mistakes that may appear below.

Any DC fan or Damian fan knows the joke about DC forgetting their friends, which is sadly funny. Luckily that's what we ( the fandom ) are here for, to not let characters with potential be forgotten thanks to evil editors.

Now what happened to Suren Darga?. I'm not kidding when I say that the kid seems to have been left in a giant void for everyone after his last appearance, because his wiki the only thing it says about him is this:

"Suren Darga is the son of Den Darga and the prince of the Lu'un Darga."

And I'm not exaggerating

And they also put him as “Supervillain”, ok.

Suren was forgotten and I have a feeling that wasn't the idea mainly, not only because he has a whole interesting past that should have been seen but also his team, trio or whatever he may have had with Maya and Damian looked so…real. They were going to be even if it was allies and great friends.

Plus after his end of the world disaster, showing his very fucked up daddy issues and receiving possibly the most painful punch in the face of his life.

He was to have a long, but sincere arc of redemption.

And let's not forget that Suren at the time helped Damian's development as much as Damian helped Suren's development. He and Maya changed for the better thanks to the fifth Robin in that same comic.

Maya was going to follow her father's path of blood, having Damian as her first victim as revenge. Luckily for both of them, Damian proved that he changed and that she could do it too, preventing her from getting her hands dirty like her father and becoming his older sister.

And I think Suren goes one step further. Maya herself says: “Man, you guys have so much in common”.

Suren was going to do the end of the world to give honor to his family, but also for the infinite and pure love of a child that he had for his father, but Robin knowing that feeling of hunger for affection and family understanding stopped him making him see that there are simply shitty parents who do more harm than good. That he knew what that was like and that he should let go of that toxic environment before he became something worse. They were so alike that Robin just couldn't leave him alone.

In short, I apply the “AMIGA DATE CUENTA” (FRIEND BE AWARE).

And I think for Damian's development it felt good for him to help these characters who were in a dark place like he once was to realize that he really became a better person who wanted to help others unconditionally. that that R of redemption in his chest was for something and worth his effort.

But this does not end happily for Suren. We never knew if he really moved away from the shadow of his family and to forge his own story or if he is still in contact with his only friends until now and if we go further, is he still alive? The worst part of this is that the writers/publishers would have no excuse to leave him behind saying “He's not an interesting character” since his origin story, coming back from the dead which could have caused him another trauma and conflict and his VERY GENIUS connection with magic do make him interesting, VERY interesting.

But DC doesn't agree with that, so the last we have of this kid is this panel of him smiling going on a new adventure, an adventure we never saw come to light.

“It NEVER ends” how funny.

[starry-eyed-steve]

Sandra's Fic Wrapped 2023

Hello <3, it's the last day of 2023, and I wanted to give some love to all the amazing fanfics I read this year. Each one of the people mentioned here is so talented, and everyone should check out their entire work.

(Disclaimer: all fics mentioned are Steve Harrington x reader)

Here are my top reads from this year (in no particular order)

Wildfire by @curiositydooropened (completed series, enemies to lovers) This fic has one of the best world building, I need this to happen in s5, actually. Doesn't shy away from discussions of ptsd and overall, it was so well done. I still have to finish it, but I know Amanda did an amazing job with it. <3

Glitch by @munsonsreputation (series, friends to lovers) This fic is just so cozy and cute. Reader insert felt like a very well-rounded character. You will love all the interactions with the other characters. It's just so well done. <3

whip it! by @schoopsahoy (one shot) This fic was cuteness overload. Loved the confident reader insert, and overall, the character dynamics were so well done, esp Steve and the kids <3

don't think twice, it's alright by @hawkinsquarry (part of a series, hurt/comfort post s4) I think this is one of my fav hurt/comfort pieces I've read this year. The interactions between reader and Steve are so tender. Overall, this was perfect <3

Into Open Flames by @kurokoros (completed series, established relationship, horror, set after s2 canon divergence) This fic has amazing world building. The original monster is so terrifying and well done that I was on the edge of my seat all the time. I adored Steve's character so much, kinda wish the show would have handled his character that way instead of what they did in s3/4. Overall amazing writing <3

confetti by @slashersteve (series, single!dad Steve) My favorite single dad Steve fic out there. I still haven't read the latest part, but I had to mention this series. It's amazing. The characters feel so real, and you'll fall in love with Steve's daughter <3

become the sun by @headkiss (one shot, strangers to friends to lovers) This was probably my favorite summer fic. I adored the small beach town vibe. Overall, that was such a cute read. I still need to read this year's Christmas fic, which I know will be great because last year's was amazing. <3

the view between villages, part one: good bones by @sattlersquarry (completed series, choose your own adventure, s3) Listen this is one of the most creative works I've read. The amount of work that was put in it is insane. You play an active part and get to choose how your story ends. This was such a fun experience <3

the swindling of steve harrington’s heart by @stevebabey (one shot, strangers to lovers) This was such a cute fic, like Steve asking for dating advice in the Hawkins Post was just sweet. I loved all the interactions between him and the reader. If you need a pick-me-up, this is your fic <3

and they were roomates by @sunshinesteviee (one shot, friends to lovers) This fic was just so cute. I loved Robin being kinda in the middle of this and sick of their bullshit. Overall, amazing writing and a quick read if you are feeling down and need cheering up <3

almost paradise by @hawkinsindiana (completed series for now, ST rewrite covering all seasons) I said it so many times, but this is one of my overall favorite stories. Kinda wish we had the reader character in the actual show because it makes so much sense. The writing is amazing, I even shed a few tears towards the end. I can't wait to see what's in store for s5. Also, check out the various blurbs that go with it. There is so much work being put into this, and it deserves a bit more love. I'm gonna re-read the whole thing next year. <3

steve zombie!au by @luveline (compilation of blurbs and one shots) This is one of my fav AU, I can't just choose one thing, so I linked the entire masterlist Their relationship is just so special. I love the world building and the other characters. It's amazing <3

no good at waiting by @familyvideostevie (completed series, sorta enemies to lover farmer market au) This is one of my fav series, and we got such cute blurbs this year from this universe. It has such a cozy vibe to it, great world building and characters. <3

Any Way Out by @hairrington (one shot, angst, ex boyfriend Steve) This fic was a mix of heartache and comfort. Nadia is one of my fav Steve writers out there so everyone check out her entire masterlist. <3

some kind of muted blue by @thecreelhouse (one shot, dark themes, deals with things like ptsd) This was so devastatingly beautiful, I loved that this fic explored Steve's felings so much, something we don't get to see in the show. This was just amazingly written <3

[effypcfcwrites]

The Owl House

(Originally posted on my personal Facebook dated April 25, 2023)

This is probably the first time I'll be posting a detailed review of a piece of media that I like, so witness me sing all of my praises for this animated series from the House of Mouse, because wow, I've never been so invested in a Disney show after rewatching Gravity Falls.

For those unfamiliar, The Owl House revolves around Luz Noceda, a teenage girl who stumbles upon a portal to an alternate world called The Boiling Isles, meets a witch named Eda Clawthorne, learns magic under her tutelage and eventually enrolls in Hexside, a magic school where she makes many friends and goes on multiple adventures.

I binged this whole show in a span of weeks and even stayed up all night on my day off to finish it up to Season 3, the first 2 Seasons being on Disney+ and the latter on Disney Channel's YouTube page.

Simply put, I love it so much! I love how it reminds me of Avatar: The Last Airbender, Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back, and, dare I say, Harry Potter, which it even poked fun at, at times. Well-deserved, considering J.K. Rowling’s transphobic views and HP’s underlying anti-Semitic undertones.

I loved the pop culture references to Thor: Ragnarok, Howl's Moving Castle, Metal Gear Solid, and even Hades, among many others! I thought those were very clever and funny, and just a treat for fellow nerds, geeks, and fans of fantasy stories, anime, and video games.

I love the LGBTQ+ representation all throughout the show, which was such a bold move considering Disney’s iffy stance on the subject. None of them were antagonized for it, and it was treated as something normalized in both the Human and Demon Realms. The show featured 2 gay dads, non-binary and aromantic-asexual characters, and one of the internet’s favorite sapphic/WLW couples Lumity, which is the ship consisting of canonically bisexual Luz and implied lesbian Amity Blight, whose rivals-to-friends-to-lovers relationship was just so wholesome, so natural, and very healthy, considering they're both teenagers. Suprisingly, there was very little melodrama, not once were they petty towards one another whenever either party did something wrong, and they never got tired of showing affection towards each other. I found myself shamelessly gushing over how cute, adorable, and supportive they were together, and tearing up a lot during key moments of their relationship, especially when they both found themselves in dire straits as the story progressed.

I love the writing and the character development of them all! None of them felt static, they all grew throughout the series, maturing, getting better, and healing from their own insecurities, trauma, and guilt. The humor and comedic timing was a nice touch, and I was really taken aback by how S2 ended on such a dark cliffhanger with all stakes raised to the roof, similar to A:TLA S2 and The Empire Strikes Back, as mentioned earlier. That season wasn’t afraid to have such a grim ending, with such a great payoff by the end of S3 which is worth celebrating.

I love the animation and art style, which blended colorful and whimsical with eerie and ominous in just the right amounts. As a sucker for animated movies and series such as Adventure Time, The Prince of Egypt, and Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, it was just such a delight watching it.

I love the overarching message of the show, which is to be truly yourself, to embrace your quirks, and never to limit yourself and your potential based on what the majority of society and the powers-that-be expect from you. All throughout, you’ll find the characters challenging pre-established norms and roles, and it’s just so satisfying seeing them all win.

11/10 top-tier show. Don’t @ me, it’s hard for me to find something I disliked about the series. It's definitely a must-watch, especially if you're sick and tired of all the bleak nihilism of modern adult animation, and you just want to baby your inner child and escape to a whimsical fantasy world with characters you can all relate to. Betting my bottom peso you'll all be hooked, like I was.

[akarisandraws]

What's your big opinion on every Sonic character don't skip any detail

Dude, do you know how many sonic characters are there?

Like a lot. So im gonna keep it on the main ones LOLL

Maybe i'll add to this tho. We'll see.

HERE WE GO!!

Sonic: He's my favourite character of all times! Such a funky fella. I love his way of thinking, (as in everyone deserves second chances and freedom is important) and of acting, with the whole attitude. He gives me a sense of freedom that i haven't felt from any other media at all! Its quite impressive honestly. I could write pages upon pages on how Sonic as a character is like the peak of literature in my eyes, but this post would get way too long. In summary tho, i like almost every aspect of Sonic the Character.

Tails: The baby! I also really love tails! I think his role as a sideckick is very endearing, and is a great balance to sonic in all possible ways. One problem with modern Tails, though. He's portrayed as a coward. And like??? That's not who he is?? Like C'mon sega.

Knuckles: He don't chuckle!! Final part of team Sonic, and Sonic's first rival! I really like the knucklehead. But as is the norm, Sega screwed him up badly on Boom. I despise that they're supposed to be the same Knuckles. Because they're not. I like Boom Knuckles, as his own character, but granted, Boom is an acquired taste.

Amy: Honorary part of team sonic! I love her! Mostly on the IDW Comics. I think they handle her excellently in there. I know that Amy is a hated character by the fanbase because most say that her only purpose is to be the "girl character love interest" and i can agree up to some point in some games, but in IDW she's sooo much better. We stan IDW Sonic.

Shadow: Yet another case of Sega making character assassination. Shadow's like, one of the most complex sonic characters there are, If not THE most complex one. And i love that! Though im very sad that Sega hasn't been able to replicate that SA2 Magic quite as well. Will SonicXShadow (heh) give him justice? Stay tuned.

Rouge: MY GIRL!! Ok so controversial opinion, Rouge's my second favourite sonic character, just because i think its hilarious that she (once) was the leader of team Dark. So She commanded a killing machine and An alien experiment. What a girlboss! 10/10 Character.

Omega: Gotta be honest, not much of an omega fan. But i really like his dynamic w/Rouge and Shadow. It's pretty sweet that they become friens :)

Cream: The other baby! I think she's the sweetest character. Like fr. I really want to see her more often on the games! Though i get why in recent games she hasn't appeared. Suddenly the adventures got way too serious. Still want her back in the games though!

Blaze: Fire princess! I fr am so salty that she isn't as much in the games. Like, what gives? She's such a successful character (With good reason btw) and you arent like, putting her in the stage?? outrageous. But yeah, i really Like Blaze. Her contrast and similarities with sonic are great! They make a great duo too.

Silver: The sweetest most unhinged boi in the sonic canon. I find it very funny that in his first appearance he was all angsty and stuff, but now he's full on optimism and sunshine. I love the juxtaposition on that behalf. Boi is cute but he can mess you up.

The Chaotix: Oh i love the found family trope. Espio's my fave for sure. He's the funny ninja, what else do you want? Though Vector and Charmy are great too. Vector has such a cool ass dad vibe. And Charmy... is Charmy. if yk yk.

AAAAND I think i'll leave it there. Should i include someone else? lmk.

Thanks for the ask!

-Akari

[ot3]

finishing up fionna and cake... overall it was a fun ride but i really don't think it worked structurally. 6/10 show. i didnt think this was gonna be a long post but apparently i've got some thoughts. sticking below the cut

this last episode is kind of underwhelming... theres a couple of parts in this ep where they just sit and explain to the camera how simon realized betty was constantly sacrificing her own desires for simon and how simon wanted to put on the crown because he thought he didn't deserve to live. and it's not like those are bad realization for the show to come to but the show has very clearly established that it's intended for a more adult audience than the original adventure time, and so this kind of writing just feels really condescending when not directed at literal children. like yeah we could have figured this out from the writing, but. you didn't have to just tell us

i also didn't vibe with scarab as a villain, he felt super arbitrary to me. like they needed Something to be forcing them to move between dimensions, but i feel like scarab was an extremely meh choice for that. he wasn't particularly funny or interesting enough as a character to get to be one of the only people who showed up in every episode. i honestly think it would have been better if the existential threat these characters were facing was more of a force than a character, because it was already running so tight on time anyway it didn't really have the space to develop a good villain.

gary and marshall's screentime was another thing that i felt like is a huge waste of space. them doing their whole meet cute bakery au romance is something that's funny on paper but it's not compelling on its own and the only slight interest it has comes from our pre-existing investment in marceline and bubblegum's much more interesting dynamic. it didn't add anything to the overall arc of the show and took up time that could have been used to deliver more solidly on the core premise.

fionna and cake themselves were really cute but i don't feel like fionna's arc was as strong as it could have been. like ohhh yay shes come to love her normal world with all its imperfections.... obviously thats where it was going the whole time and once again. its not like i mind that ending. i just feel like they didn't do anything interesting with it. her character doesn't get to learn and progress as much as she's just marching down a straight path that we all already knows where it leads. i wish they would have just called the show 'Simon' so i wouldn't have to feel so disappointed in this.

adventure time has always been on the cutting edge of bizarre stuff in animation so the biggest let down overall with this show is how much when you strip away the Adventure Time coating of surrealist visuals on top of it it just feels like any other middling adventure cartoon. it didn't lean enough into the episodic structure to benefit from that the way the original show did, and it was too beholden on the episodic structure to linger on any of the parts that were actually compelling.

overall, the show feels like pandering to the adventure time fanbase, but in kind of a lazy way. Compare this to the distant land specials which I think were pandering in an excellent way. im not anti pandering by any means. The whirlwind tour through universes and characters that lifetime adventure time fans will recognize tries to come off as a love letter to the series, but instead just comes off as the adventure time version of that 'rejected ready player one theme song' video. remember farmworld? remember prismo? remember the vampire king? remember shermy and beth? remember Up a Tree? like. yeah. i do remember. thanks. do you have anything to say about any of this stuff or - oh. no. just showing me. got it.

its not someting i think i'll ever rewatch but at just ten eps definitely worth one watch through. theres some really good fun to be had in it and the art is gorgeous all the way through, it just fails to come together into a successful complete work.

[freyafrida]

i'm assuming the rec they're referring to is this lovely post by @gogandmagog, to whom i must thank for unearthing this fic, lol. i wrote this chapter back in 2012(!!!) so unfortunately i don't remember what exactly i had in mind for shirley and pencil girl (love that nickname), or if i even had more of a story in mind. i don't see myself writing another chapter for arco iris (although never say never?) BUT i did have some vague headcanons and influences so i will share them!

anyway. what did shirley say to her afterwards? i didn't have a full idea for this in my head and i'm of two minds about it! i can see him just ignoring it because whatever, he's not interested in getting his name written up on the side of the schoolhouse and it's none of his business why Pencil Girl decided to, apparently, lose her mind one day after school. i can also see him being pretty straightforward and asking her about it and being completely embarrassed that she's sweet on him and again, having zero interest in getting his name put on a Take Notice.

either way, they both pretend it didn't happen for a few years, but Pencil Girl never quite gives up her little crush on him, and she and shirley grow to be friends in adolescence after he gets over being flustered by her existence. they exchange sympathetic letters during the war, maybe get into wacky adventures as college kids, and fall in love along the way. the end.

so, some background: this is very niche, but as a kid, i was very into the boy/girl battle series by phyllis reynolds naylor (which i also wrote fic for in 2012 -- maybe that spilled into arco iris?). i didn't do it consciously, but in hindsight, i think i was inspired by the dynamic between the characters wally and caroline. wally is the most introverted of his brothers, thoughtful and quietly imaginative, while caroline is an attention-seeking theater kid who drags wally into her mischief. they're both annoyed by each other because they're middle schoolers, but they're also both imaginative and slightly lonely because everyone thinks they're weird, and they find they (unwillingly) understand each other on that more fundamental level. anyway! it's not a 1:1 comparison, but i think i was imagining shirley/pencil girl from a similar place. we know shirley isn't totally opposed to mischief (see "well-deserved spankings" in RV) and while we also know he hates to be badgered with chatter per RoI, i was also picturing him as a bit matthew cuthbert-esque, where he doesn't mind exuberance as long as he's not expected to actually respond in kind (that's how i interpret "badgering", anyway).

i was also semi-influenced by the dynamic between kyon and haruhi in the melancholy of haruhi suzumiya, haha. obviously none of this is evident in that very short chapter, but uh, that's the backstory if you're interested, or if it gives an idea of how the rest of the story might go!

i also was actually influenced by the jenny penny section of anne of ingleside! i first read that book as a teenager and tbh i took the jenny penny section and all its judgment about Dirty Houses and Fighting Adults and Not Saying Your Prayers a leetle personally, lmao. i found the blythes pretty snobbish in that story* (this livejournal post is a pretty good summary of how i felt about anne of ingleside at the time). so i also had the loose headcanon of the blythes having to deal with someone a little socially inappropriate, who they wouldn't approve of very much. again, this was way too much to be evident in the actual chapter, but this is where the whole "girl who kisses rando boys in classrooms" concept came from, if you're interested.

anyway that's how shirley/pencil girl would've gone. hope this didn't ruin it for you, nonny, and thank you for reading ❤️

* i mean, upon reread, there are actual issues with the pennys: jenny is a more intentional liar than anne ever was, and the grandma makes di show her her underwear??? weird. but also jenny is, like, the lone realistically troubled child in a book of unusually twee children, and i found her surprisingly sympathetic for that reason. anyway. i had feelings.

[riddlerosehearts]

got myself thinking about my own personal experiences with frozen, and why the first movie means enough to me to be my favorite of all time, and thought i might as well just go ahead and post about it in case there's anyone who wants to read it. although i'm not great with words, so this post will probably be too long and feel too silly and over the top, and i should also warn that this is a lot of very personal information, but:

i saw frozen in theaters on its opening weekend in 2013. i hadn't listened to any of the songs in advance at all--i've avoided listening to the soundtracks for new disney movies prior to seeing them in theaters ever since i saw princess and the frog in 2009, because i feel like i enjoy my first experience with the movie and the music more that way. although i may have already overheard snippets of let it go back then just because it was so popular. i honestly don't remember too clearly because my strongest memory by far of hearing let it go for the first time is being absolutely blown away by it in the theater.

so. i've had depression and social anxiety since i was a kid, and, although i didn't know this until several years after frozen was released, i'm autistic as well. so dealing with all of these things at once, combined with the fact that i had no idea i was autistic, made me think i just couldn't ever fit in with anyone because i was weird and there was something wrong with me. for most of my life i never had any friends and i thought i had to hide from people as much as possible. which i do think is at least a little justified by the fact that the whole time i was in school from fifth grade through tenth grade--after tenth grade my parents finally pulled me out of public school and i was homeschooled, something i'd honesty been begging them to do--i was bullied and betrayed by friends in various ways because i was weird and didn't fit in. i won't go into details, but the fact that i knew while still in public school that i was bisexual also played into this.

so seeing elsa's parents hide her from the world because she had something that made her different from others, seeing her be taught to "conceal, don't feel" and called a monster, just hit me very hard when i first saw the movie. i interpreted her as having developed depression and anxiety like i did (and now, ever since 2016 when i discovered that i was autistic, i've also liked to headcanon her as such) and just felt so incredibly happy to see her proudly proclaim that she wasn't going to hold back and hide who she was anymore, letting herself freely use her powers, and decide that even if she had to be alone, at least she was free.

and then, seeing how anna fought so hard to get elsa to come home and make sure she knew that she didn't have to be alone and that she wasn't unloved, and seeing the people of arendelle accept her wholeheartedly as she created an ice skating rink at the end, gave me so much hope for myself. as did reading the "sisterhood is the strongest magic" books and other things like the various frozen comics, and watching frozen fever and olaf's frozen adventure, and seeing that elsa truly was accepted by her people, that she was capable and loved as queen and had a home, that anna and kristoff and all the people of arendelle appreciated her as she was, would be there when she felt anxious or needed a shoulder to cry on, and didn't at all believe that her powers made her weird and out of place with them. all of this just gave me so, so much comfort throughout the years and still does all of this time later.

i know a lot of people are sick of frozen and find it to be overhyped, and everyone certainly has the right to their opinion! but elsa is basically tied with one other fictional character as my favorite of all time, i love anna and kristoff and yes, even olaf, very dearly, and i do believe that the movie deserves all of the love it gets. i find it so beautiful that people can read elsa's powers and her story as an allegory for so many different things and connect with her and find comfort in her in so many different ways. i can hardly believe that it's been over 10 years since the movie came out, over 10 years since i saw elsa transform her stuffy coronation gown into that beautiful flowing ice dress and sing about finally letting herself be who she really was. maybe loving frozen even half as much as i do is "cringy", but this is my own personal tumblr blog and i will be as cringy as i want! and besides, the cold never bothered me anyway. i'm sorry, i couldn't resist saying that.

[rayssion]

TSATS, Finally!!

This's a very long post guys...

Idk if I have a natural ability to ignore responsibilities or I'm just genuinely not good at keeping promises. But yes, finally the long awaited review of tsats is here.

So, the general rating for me is 3.5, which is... Really good, considering the book,,

Now you know, points to talk about:

Firstly guys I want to tell you that, unfortunately the sun and the star had me run into a deep reading slumber, which is something I never expected it to happen. Idk if you noticed this but my favourite character in whole Riordanverse is Nico! And Will comes closely after him, so I thought tsats would only be a fast run to me, it's basically a solangelo fanfic just written by the original author. But as I ran the first 100 pages I found myself drained, I was bored, I was tired and we really weren't going anywhere. It was a displayer of Nico and Will's love for each other, and I'm sorry to be that person but!! I dislike it when the ship is just out there living and laughing like I'm sorry but I need them to suffer first then some smiles and laughs at the end would do (insert some offended face).

Yeah, let's talk real. I know we had to go through that introduction to know where exactly the two of them stand in their relationship to be able to observe the change and development later on, but it was very repetitive.

Nico is made from darkness, Nico had so much darkness, Nico lives in the shadows, Nico doesn't think he deserves love, Nico doubts Will's love, Nico feels he's not enough for Will. It all goes in circles and I didn't like it. Nico I know you're emo and such but I just think the narration focused too much in it on expense of getting good Will expressing.

And this coming from a big Nico di Angelo lover, I feel like we don't quite exactly know Will even after this whole book, there's yet so much to unfold about him, his mother, his life at camp, his feelings after all toa happened like his father was a teenager just like him and was the biggest loser ever (lol, I just love Lester), how come we didn't discuss that? Nico is a character we all know, we lived with him, we experienced every feeling he went through, he wasn't new to us which is not the case with Will. What's the difference between us and the troglodytes? All we know that he's a son of Apollo, a healer and Nico's glow-in-the-dark boyfriend.

I just felt the need to summarise because I felt that what I wrote could be compromised in better wording: the narration was too repetitive and too focused on Nico and his dark past™ which is not necessarily a bad thing but I just feel it'd be better if cut it a bit shorter and clear the stage for Will, because -surprise surprise- Will also has some dark parts (although not much like Nico, and yes I know the book touches the topic later on but it'd have been way better if we were introduced to it from the start thus it'd grow on us and would be very convenient later on. Tbh the book just goes "oh, Will also got a dark side, he must share it with Nico..." But what I'm saying is, we never were exposed to it, what's the darkness within Will? Those pigeons? His mother performing and him staying backstage? I feel like we could explore it much better) anyways, it'd also be really great if we got to experience Nico's dark past yet from Will's point of view more often, that way the whole communication arc would be better, because we will know that Will already had a solid image of Nico in his head (yes his lovely little emo boy with miserable history but we'll get to know what he knows about the Nico and also the flaws he had picked up in him) and as the time goes we'll get to experience that image altering.

I know someone will think "but it's a Nico di Angelo adventure!" Yes I know, but don't you think getting to know Nico, our adored character, from his boyfriend perspective would be much interesting? Come on guys, see the potential.

Let's rewind a little bit, so 100 pages, I'm bored I stopped reading for three days then picked the book yet again and..... Stopped after 50 pages ;-;

I'M SORRY BUT I REALLY WASN'T FEELING THE VIBES OKAY I KNOW IT'S TOTALLY MY FAULT AND I'M SORRY GUYS.

And picked the book for the last time today and finished it.

Oh yes, another thing that felt off for me is how Chiron and Dionysus are portrayed here, idk they felt so out of character and the whole "dO wE hUg nOw?" I'm sorry, that was cringe, dw it's on me guys.

And there were points where the writing was so inconsistent, I never read anything of Oshiro's work before, but it's so painfully obvious when his and Rick's writing styles clashes (ugly clashes) that it makes the book really obviously written by more than one author, and other points where idk if Rick is trying water down his style or Oshiro is trying to level the work up to the satire and sarcasm Riordan's books are known for. Anyways, it could use some editing (and it's definitely edited but not enough to mask every hole, because if a dumb person like me speed reading the book was able to pick all that then it's obviously not enough).

Also Nyx was stupid. Yes, that's my statement. Iget it you refuse to change but I hate how dumb her plan was. First of all, why leave Bob without guard? I mean you obviously have better chances in luring Nico and maybe killing Will if they don't have a Titan with them?? But yeah this's not about her.

I also hated we lost originality here, I already told you guys it read like a fanfic, but it really was a fanfic, every fanservice they could include they did include. For example the Hades allowing Bianca and Maria to talk to Nico once again, look I'm not complaining (as you'll read later) but really WHAT THE FUCK??! Weren't they reincarnated or whatever? How the fuck is that possible?

Also isn't Tartarus like, beyond the powers of the gods?? Then how is Hades going to retrieve whoever-was-his-name-centaure-satyr out of it? And just because Nico asked nicely?

Another thing, I know that you can issue a quest (just like what Percy and Annabeth did to rescue Grover in SOM, and like what Ares did in SON) but how the fuck do you send a prophecy?? Isn't this also too much of a godly power? Like Apollo (the god of prophecy himself) stated that they're way above him then how can Hades send one???

So we mentioned the narration, we've done the character portrial that I didn't like, now we're off to good stuff!

A big point! A huge point! For solangelo's relationship, I loved how they often had fights, disagreed with each other, hid things from one another, had miscommunication yet still managed to figure it out as mature humans whom are much better than half of adults nation. I loved how quickly one apologise once they realise they were wrong, I loved how they stayed by each other's side and how they supported each other, like bro it seems like they can't stay angry at each other more than five seconds and I love for it!

This's actually Rick's trademark (along with having Percy in everything he writes) that he always sets a good example for kids, younger audience who read his books have a good exposure to an excellent functional relationship not like some other booktok authors whom I'm not naming (totally not about you Colleen Hoover, you do you honey🙂).

Hiss-magisty and oh boy how much I love them! They were so cute I really liked how they looked up to Will, especially that the boy needed such encouragement because of the whole child of Apollo, underworld, tartarus things going on. And yet another point to tsats for representation (never forgetting Epiales).

Nico, Hades, Maria, Bianca!! You just have to love them!! They're literally my favourite family in the whole Riordanverse, yes I'm so madly in love with Sally and yes I love Percy but the Hades/di Angelo family?? That's where my discussion ends.

And speaking about family, can we have a moment of appreciation for Persephone like I truly loved her back from mythology (which I know nothing about, like she's Hades wife, that's it, yet I still loved her because she seemed nice, and she's nice!) This whole journey won't be if not for her, girl single handedly opened Will's eyes and her love for Nico??? Told you that's my family right there.

Lol I just remembered when Demeter was lecturing Persephone for not marrying a doctor and now I just know she loves solangelo, so yeah even grandma is an icon, I stan by it, that's my family.

Okay I also wanted to talk about the concept of grief and ptsd and how it was represented. This actually deserves a major applause because that's really how you write a good deep psychological analysis of losing someone and having to cop with it, especially that part when Nico tells how he just shunned all his memories away, how in his mind Jason just went to a quest and someday he'll return to camp half-blood as if nothing happened, because surprisingly it's the same method my brain took when my mother died, it's like all these years had been deleted and I was just brought to world after her passing, a lot of times I try to remember some particular incident from the time but I just can't wrap my mind about it, sometimes I became alert because for a minute there I couldn't recall her name, it was like all the pain associated with her just disappeared, it is locked far away in my brain and I still can't get access to it. So yeah, away from this pity party, I love how it was represented here, with Nico really suffering the trauma and how he eventually learned to let it go. (I cried at that mention and also when he was reunited with his family for that little amount of time).

Can we name the cocoa puffs?? Because I just adore them so much and I feel like Nico and Will will name them such cute adorable names and I can't stop thinking about that. Lol, percabeth are yet to get engaged then married and solangelo already has kids.

Ps actually but the pet names??? OMG NOTHING SWAYS MY HEART LIKE PET NAMES. I was pretty much hooked when I read "Noble McSacrifice" SSKFHIDJ

Another ps. I liked the whole Gorgyra thing as a way to show us their memories like a breeze amidst the flames every couple of chapters. At first I was like "wtf is this, did it happen or is it gonna happen or is this an alternate universe??" Don't blame me I was sleepy.

Yet another ps. I hated the "DREAM SEQUENCE" that just comes in the middle, like bro the boy just went to sleep of course I'd know this's a dream no need to point it out every time it was so annoying.

I think I covered all of the points I wanted to talk about, I was going to say "yay, first review with me having actual time to write it and think it through!" Yet auntie barged in in the middle and everything seems all over the place now.

It's like a characteristic in me now, heh. But yeah, sorry for the long wait, sorry for this shitty review, but bear with me please.

I totally adored this book once I figured out how to keep up with it ").

I'm yet to read a bunch of books all by Rick, hopefully I'll start with the chalice of the gods and come for a quick chat later.

Until then, eat, sleep and take care of yourselves♡!!

[goldenkamuyhunting]

Hello, I've been reading Golden Kamuy for three weeks now and yesterday I read the final chapter. Today I woke up and I started reading your blog and your metas, and it's been helping me mourn the great story that I believe didn't deserve such a wasteful ending. I feel like the characters' journey was for nothing. Just like you, I despise that the Sugiripa pairing is being implied to be canon, and I really wish Asirpa had never developed a crush on Sugimoto. In my opinion it seriously muddied the overall story and the consequent actions it would take. Ogata's death felt meaningless at this time of the plot. It's funny how one of the themes in the story is that each life has a purpose but it felt like most of the characters lost theirs in the final arc. I know I'm a bit late to the party, and the time I invested in the story was nothing compared to the people that had been following the manga for years, but I needed to get these words off my chest. I'll try to remember this series as the masterpiece it was for the first ~200 chapters.

Welcome in the world of GK and I'm sorry to also welcome you among the ones who didn't really enjoy much the final arc.

Now... should I warn everyone who's going to continue to read that this isn't a let's shower Noda with phraises feast? And that if you don't like it, the back button is your best friend? I hope not, but just in case, consider yourself warned. So...

In regard to the SugiRipa... I would have been fine if it had been handled as a phase, something Asirpa has to grow out of it.

I wouldn't have liked it much but I would have accepted it if the whole thing had been at least... postponed. Sugimoto leaves Asirpa, years go by, he comes back and, since he didn't see her in years and, since she's an adult now, he can look at her with different eyes.

Noda had seemed to imply that Asirpa was of such a young age because she wasn't meant to become a trophy for the hero to get at the end of his adventure (like it happens to way too many female characters in stories targeted to male audience), but if the SugiRipa ending was planned from the start... well, at this point Asirpa could have had just been made of the right age from the start.

Asirpa had a quite interesting motivator for her actions, which was the well being of her people, this isn't really such a recurring goal for heroines, but in the end the Ainu were sidelined because she makes clear her priority is Sugimoto (she claimed she would kill to protect him, not the Ainu and, ultimately, she shoots Ogata to protect Sugimoto) and the Ainu take a backseat in her heart.

I've nothing against characters moved by love... I like love stories... but since Asirpa has something more intriguing that could have lead her actions, prioritizing her crush for the hero felt like a downside.

Of course this is just me, I know there were people who had pushed for SugiRipa from the start and even the anime seemed fond of it (and completely erased Umeko as a love interest for Sugimoto).

As for Ogata, as far as I'm involved, it's not just that his death felt meaningless, his whole partecipation to the facts post Karafuto was of no consequence whatsoever for the story. He didn't affect the plot, neither with his life, nor with his death which is such a big clash with how, previously, whatever Ogata did seemed to spin the plot in a direction or in another.

So, as far as I'm involved, it would have worked a lot better if he had died in Karafuto. Even the whole thing with Koito, in which he shared info with him that lead Koito to figure out how Tsurumi manipulated him, was ultimately meaningless as Koito and Tsukishima still did Tsurumi's bidding till the end, and wouldn't have still be capable to follow Tsurumi due to their wounds, so the whole thing ended up being meaningless. Again, this is just me.

And I guess I could go on, actually I wanted to write a whole post on why for me the series finale was such a disappointment, but ultimately I doubt someone would be interested in it.

Who still wanders in the GK tag is likely there in search of positivity so a post of what didn't work for me is probably not what people would be interested in reading.

Again, I'm sorry to hear you also didn't enjoy the ending. It doesn't matter if you started reading a story long ago or just yesterday, it's always sad when something that you were enjoying reading stop being a source of fun and pleasure.

Please, keep enjoying the first 20 volumes as I and other people do and still welcome among the GK readers. Also, thank you for your ask!

[kuwdora]

I always have thoughts about book-to-media adaptations running in the back of my mind these days since it’s part and parcel of our fannish landscape. There’s just so much that goes into translating something from book to a visual medium. And then the adaptation fails in some small and/or large way and it ends up being a disappointment. (I think there’s also a lot to be said about adaptations that are more Successful than not and what success means in an adaptation…but I think that deserves its own post.)

I’m often considering a person’s entry point to adaptations, whether it’s through the media or the original source, and how that plays into people’s reactions about failures of adaptations or—like, what each person is wanting to get out of the adaptation if they know the original source material. And what they’re happy with when they’ve just discovered it through the adaptation.

Just gonna ramble a little bit about my own experience with being a book-to-adaptation person. I think even when writing and production circumstances are the most ideal, it’s still fucking hard as hell to adapt complicated narratives to the screen. Still. I’m not immune to heartbreak about seeing something play out badly because I had been so attached to the original book material.

When I was a little girl I picked up a fantasy book featuring a little girl protagonist. This main character was living in a foster situation, had dead parents, and a wishy-washy background she didn’t know much about. She was a little bit of a ruffian and kind of defied everybody and everything because she had a very strong sense of self and moral code. She is, of course, a child of prophecy and has a lot in store for her.

Over the course of the first book she ends up embroiled in some social and political intrigue and ends up going on a grand adventure. She meets an outcast who is is hated by humans but they use his services anyway because he’s good at his job. He ends up becoming her protector and guardian and would do anything for her.

She eventually crossed paths with a world-traveling misfit with who brought levity and a heart of gold to every scene. She also ended up meeting a very old, very beautiful witch also fell in love with this child and would move heaven and earth to protect her and help her survive and thrive.

The whole series deals with a lot of complex issues of the moral and social variety, and there’s a running theme about how men and institutions headed by men wield their power and try to impose their vision of the world on everyone. Particularly on women.

The little girl also eventually found out that her dad isn’t actually dead like she was told. The dad is alive and well and he’s asshole, also a bad guy. But he has the MOST CHARISMA EVER, holy fuck.

I ate these books up as a kid and reread them over and over and my brain and heart totally grew around them. I admired the protagonist and her sharp wit and mouthiness and determination. Her resiliency and perseverance to do what she knew would be right and just. As I got older and I reread the books and absorbed the more complex issues about personhood and agency. I thought more about how you can resist a bad situation or person when the world/person is trying to change you to fit their ideal. (That part was particularly important to me when I was young). But also the themes of good and evil, etc. I started seeing the politics and then understanding it more with every reread over the years when I started reading more history, more politics. It had always been there in the books but I could finally SEE it. It felt like a revelation.

A dozen or so years later it turns out someone was going to going to adapt these books! It was much discussed and heavily anticipated. These were well-known, beloved fantasy books from the 90s. Amazing characters and great scenes! Fascinating themes.

God I remember being so excited when I heard about the adaptation. And then I got to see it. It was the most confusing and disappointing experiences of my life. What I ended up seeing was pretty. Great costumes, CGI. Amazing actors! But everything that made the books interesting and magical and profound had been watered down, elided over the moral complexities. Or it outright changed things that would have fundamentally shifted the events of the rest of the books and make the adaptation even MORE incomprehensible.

I’m talking about the 2007 film adaptation of The Golden Compass from Philip Pullman’s trilogy His Dark Materials. A lot of this probably sounds familiar to my Witcher mutuals, right?

Anyway.

The film had so many boycotts by the Catholic Church and other churchy groups in the United States for its depiction of institutionalized religion in Lyra’s world. So on the studio-side they made so many changes and demands that fucked the movie. So much doesn’t make sense or is just pales in comparison to what was actually originally intended.

After the film’s flop even more articles and reviews came out talking about Tom Stoppard’s original draft of the film and the director’s first take on the screenplay. Vulture read both versions and it's really illuminating what they discovered. The film was indeed supposed to be significantly longer but the studio wasn’t having it because they wanted kids to go and see this film and 2+ film wasn’t gonna be it.

Like. The studio was really hoping for another Harry Potter franchise and were treating this book-to-film more like a YA fantasy type of thing. When in reality someone wrote a sanded down version of the story for the screenplay that left me and a whole bunch of other people fucking jaded as hell. Because damn. Way to miss the fucking mark on an amazing fantasy series. 10000% missed it. I’ve blacked out most of the actual film from memory because I just could not believe it. The disappointment. The heartache of not doing the story justice.

But yeah…just… someone really thought The Golden Compass was gonna be a huge fantasy action/adventure hit because there were really cool talking animals.

It’s so fucking hilarious to me in retrospect. When you realize these books are Phillip Pullman’s AU fanfic/fix-it of Paradise Lost where Lucifer gets to have his revenge on the kingdom of heaven, there was noooo way that original film was going to even begin to set up a 3 or 4 film franchise. Nooo way.

The first book ends with an absolutely heartbreaking and horrific scene that is the catalyst for Lyra and what motivates her for the next 1500 pages of the series. I was there opening weekend in that theater for The Golden Compass. I have never been more confused in my LIFE while watching a film because they ended the film like 5 chapters before the end of the book. They lopped it off and made the first film a very strange Cliffhanger for a sequel that would absolutely never get made. I was flabbergasted.

The disappointment. The confusion. The despair. I was fucking depressed about it for a good long time. I had been so excited and been brimming with anticipation because I loved the books so much and I wanted it to be good and then what I got was….absolute garbage. To me. I mean maybe if I had been a little girl watching the film for the first time it would have been better. But as an adult who had spent the better part of my life immersed in Lyra’s character arc… I just. Could not feel more betrayed.

I can’t even be that upset anymore because I’ve had enough time to grieve and leave it behind. Then somehow the universe came together and HBO let Jack Thorne and company re-do the books as a series. It is a much more faithful adaptation. I’m too close to the book source to know if people who don’t read the books will get the same kind of experience out of seeing the show play through Lyra and Will’s experiences in the show.

The final season of His Dark Materials was also probably the most philosophical and abstract season of fantasy television I’ve seen. I fucking loved it. I don’t think it was perfect, but it was really enjoyable and did more to soothe my soul than I thought possible. It’s not a show for everyone—and I’m still not sure how it got made because HBO the last few years had been going through some changes. Maybe I’m very sentimental and forgiving, I don’t know. The narrative pacing was a bit weird to me in places and some of the dialogue was hit or miss but overall, I could not have gotten a better time from it.

That experience with the film a has made me much more intentional about managing my expectations of how I approach media adaptations.

Where am I starting with an adaptation? What am I hoping to get out of this? Who is making it and what are the production constraints working against it? How do I manage my expectations if I know the original source and what do I want from the visual media and acting? Etc etc. Do I want to go and read the original if I don’t know it already because I want to see what changes they made?

I keep thinking about everything with The Witcher Netflix. It’s so fucking difficult to get anything made through studios and networks (especially now, but even then in the late 2000s)… And when you’re trying to appeal to the widest audience possible, you’re only going to get so far when you’ve left the rest of the source inspiration on the table. And didn’t bother to make up for the difference in what you left there.

We all know how depressing it is. The streaming model has fucked television over completely. The depreciation of writers rooms… we had 20 and 22 episodes, and then 15 and 12 episodes. Filler episodes with great character moments. Space to flesh out complex narratives with nuance. And now 8 episodes as a standard runtime. The lack decent amount of time for production (including pre and post) to actually set things up in a way that serves the media narrative.

It’s so hard to cater to everyone when you’re drawing from a book/comic book. Also harder to cater to your specific audience. But when you’re trying cater to enough people so you don’t get cancelled and keep going to try and tell the story you’re trying to tell, that’s fucking hard and shitty and I don’t begrudge them for that. Even though it sucks.

Even though I can hate it as much has I can understand it. Wish it was different. Even though it can be a fucking travesty of epic proportions because these writers/showrunners/directors don’t get the space to actually flesh out what they’re trying to do.

Even if people are writing a very different iteration of the story that I don’t like/want/agree with/understand/etc.

That doesn’t even go into the issue of when showrunners and directors don’t understand the characters they’re working with or make fundamental changes because of their own vision, production constraints, and everything else. You might see a lot of this going around again with Red, White, and Royal Blue and what the director had changed in his film adaptation. People are worked up into a froth for very valid reasons. It’s all exhausting but this is all nothing new. Still demoralizing when people so attached to the original material.

Anyway. That’s….just some thoughts that have been sitting with me for awhile. Could probably ramble more if I can get the brain cells together.

Fun fact: George RR Martin looked at the 2007 The Golden Compass film and said (paraphrasing here): “I am never, ever fucking EVER letting anyone make my books into a film. A television show is the way to go.”

Fun fact #2: James SA Corey (Daniel Abraham and Ty Frank) worked with GRRM extensively over the years and I think others have written more extensively about GRRM’s influence the way they wrote sprawling narratives with multiple POV characters. Anyway they developed a tabletop RPG that they eventually turned into novels that became The Expanse.

Which eventually got adapted to television. SyFy network was in a bidding war with Netflix for the show and out-bid Netflix. This was a show adaptation that did not hold your hand whatsoever. Fascinating, new, interesting. Faithful adaptation. Still got cancelled after two seasons. Even though both authors had become producers on the show and were learning more about production and writing teleplays from experienced sci-fi showrunners/producers/television writers.

Show was later picked up by Amazon to finish out the last few seasons. But I would bet my bottom dollar that both these authors watched how the Game of Thrones adaptations went and probably went “we’re not gonna let this happen to us.” And I think that’s reflected in the way they and their team were able to adapt the story faithfully with multiple huge and small changes specifically so it would work with the television medium.

[inventedfangirling]

Nanon + Khao in 55:15 Never Too Late appreciation post

I had been wanting to watch "55:15 never too late" for the LONGEST time. For several reasons not least among them was that it featured two of my most favourite thai actors - nanon & khaotung. And pls the premise of five 55 year olds returning to their younger 15 yr old bodies in order to make some changes to their past selves and the hijinks that ensue is interesting enough. But ofc the prime reason i was there was to watch the acting masterclass that i knew nanon and khaotung would deliver. I'm only 3 episodes in but im already bowled over.

Nanon especially. I don't know if there is any role that he can't do. he just becomes the role he is doing. It's virtually impossible to see nanon in the role he is playing.

This scene where he is hiding from prim. What shook me was just how much of childishness nanon was able to convey in this scene. He's playing a 15 year old after all. And he does an excellent job of it. Not at all in a forced caricature sorta way. In fact he was so convincing i had to replay several scenes multiple times. It was so very impressive.

And look at that. That's pining personified and you cant even see his face. He is just THAAAT good.

His body language, his micro-expressions, the delivery of dialogues, everything is just pure perfection.

Look at him absolutely nail the look of a lost hurt child who doesn't know who or what to turn to. He really has no business being this good!?!

I was in a bad mood when i was watching that episode. But Nanon is just so good at his job that by sheer force of his acting brilliance he turned my mood around.

His dimples helped for sure. of course.

i mean LOOK AT THEM.

This scene was especially fantastic. Really fun to watch.

But i meant something much more intangible.

You know that feeling when you feel better just by seeing certain works of art, a painting or a sketch, or if you're looking at the sky, or listening to a piece of music, just knowing that such beauty exists in the world by itself enough to lift you up?

Watching Nanon do his thing in this episode felt more or less like that!

Especially this scene that took my breath away.

How was he just 20 when he did this??? it's so mind blowing!

I'll never not be beyond grateful that i decided to watch bad buddy, cos 1. it gave me patpran and 2. it gave me nanon! one of the finest actors i have seen in my entire life. EVER. And he's just 22? I really can't wait to see what all he does over the course of his acting career!

Episode 3 follows the adventures of Khaotung's character "Songpol". I loved his story the most out of all 5 of them. No surprises here. How it's about an adult closeted gay man decides to stop suppressing his identity and live out a life he had denied himself all along. How he has known that he was gay for decades but because he hid that part, he still remains a sorta baby gay at the age of 55, and how this time/body reversal situation gives him a second chance at a more free life.

And while there were fewer opportunities for moments of acting brilliance, he did amazingly well in whatever there was.

And more importantly there wasn't a single second where he was on screen where my heart wasn't brimming with affection.

I especially am LOVING this gay uncle and supportive niece dynamic. We usually see it the other way around so loving this twist on the usual trope. Also khaotung does SO well in this scene where he is occupying his 15 yr old body but his facial expressions reveal the maturity of a 55 year old uncle of his niece who he is talking to.

Also LOVING the way he fanboys over "Jaya".

His devotion is so visible. It's unbelievably endearing. I would make a home for him in my pocket if i could.

Like that's MY baby. A whole cutie patootie.

And also he is SO so handsome i could just watch him just existing for hours.

Gorgeousness🤌

I'm so excited for him to be living out his happy dream gay life. He deserves it so much. Pining for decades and then finally going to confess and then finding out he has found somebody else yet again, just next level of pain. He needs his happy ending. And he better be getting it. I am really looking forward to it.

What i'm not looking forward to is how the multiple love triangles the show has already set up is going to blow up in everyone's faces. It's such an annoying trope. But ANYTHING for a show featuring Nanon and Khao. And for the most parts i am LOVING this show, hopefully i will love it till the end :')

[cobragardens]

In the first essay in this post Maya Gittelman articulates something that I think is really important: it's not just the gender(fuck) of the characters' coding that makes Good Omens a queer story, it's that the story is about queerness itself.

Gittelman's essay:

The thing is, this is the shit I’ve been waiting for my whole life.

Before I knew the words, I was impacted by how every epic romance, every classic adventure, every story I had access to and enjoyed was cishet. I needed to translate either the story or myself to find myself in it—every single time. I grew up in the oughts, in the days of the Tumblr fandoms you’re thinking of. I wrote about this a bit more in my essay on the first season of Our Flag Means Death last year, and that first line applies here—queer heartache has never felt this good.

I’ve been able to consume a lot of queer storytelling lately—mostly white cis m/m, but not exclusively and more than I’ve ever been able to in my life, because I’ve been searching for it for a long time. Yet as we know, there are a lot of mainstream stories with queer “rep” that at their core about what marginalized queer people have been cautioning around for generations—normalization. Assimilation. Respectability. See, we can be just like you. We too desire to marry, participate as cogs in the violent machine of imperialism. We too want the right to give you our service, our allegiance. We too want to join your armies. I certainly can enjoy plenty of that media, but I’m still desperate for queer storytelling that’s not sanitized, not flattened out to fit cishet beats, something that tells a good story that’s queer on every level. And that means we deserve to see queer characters who are messy, who hurt each other, because sometimes, love isn’t enough.

While Good Omens in some ways still white cis m/m, it’s also not entirely, and what works for me is that it actually delves into asking the damned question: What if this love is a threat, actually?

What if this love is something that does disrupt your norms, your ways of life? What if it’s an open danger to the systems you’re used to? What if this love could disrupt everything? What if it goes against God’s will and Satan’s too, what if it flies in the face of the ineffable plan?

What I’m saying is, I’ve wanted stories that let queer people be characters, with all the nuance and complexity that entails. Stories that are queer, intentionally, in both subtext and text, that aren’t asking an audience to justify their right to exist. Instead, they’re giving voice to the specifics of queer experience that don’t typically get mainstream care, multi-season tenderness. We deserve queer love stories that are wistful, epic, tragic not because they’re of the “same gender” but because the tangled truths of safety and trauma are inextricable from queer love. We deserve stories that are queer as subtext and text, metaphor and central plot and side plot too. We deserve queer stories that explore how queer love is infinite variety. We deserve genre stories that explore what immortality or something close to it does to pining, to longing, for wanting the one person in the universe you can’t have.

We deserve queer stories without homophobia that still explore the traumas of marginalized desire, in which neither party is truly the villain, just victims of the same system, at different stages of knowing it.

Show me what it looks like beyond the happily ever after, the will they/won’t they, the beats of a privileged cis white coming out. Breathe arcs of nuance and poetry and history into it. We deserve that epic romance, and we deserve to see how much it can hurt, because the depths of that wound evidence the ferocity of that love.

Growing up queer can feel monstrous, and I need to see that on screen. When you get preached at that people like you go to Hell for what you are and the ways you want, you start to relate to the demons. When you’re taught the truest, most joyful parts of you are unholy, it’s fair to ask—why should I respect the authority of a system that hates me for reasons I can’t control?

You learn to disguise your desire, and it changes you. It changes you to choke down your feelings, to deny them, to believe that they are sin. You learn to pour them into the hidden language of love that arises between you and whoever you’re lucky enough to share it with, so you don’t learn how to say them aloud. (Their arrangement, “little demonic miracle of my own,” the fourth alternative rendezvous. This is what queer love has looked like for millennia: something beautiful and true, despite, despite, despite.) Unlike those whose love has only ever been legal, permitted, “normal,” “holy”—your relationship is inescapably shaped by the threat behind it. You don’t get to see them as often as you like. You don’t get to talk, either to them or about them, because it might disturb the precious existence you have carved out together. You have to make up excuses, you can’t admit to anyone exactly why you can’t stop going back, and in this way you don’t always have to confront it yourself.

At the same time, that’s why queer love can be one of the most powerful forces in the universe—it saved the world last time, even if they didn’t call it that, yet. Aziraphale and Crowley don’t know so many details about each other’s lives and yet they know nearly everything important.

This is love—this natural state of slipping into the truth, until you awaken to it, inevitable and encompassing, all around you.

You might find yourself almost helpless to the magnetism. You can’t stop going back, finding your way to them, taking the risk, basking in the thrill of the comfort of their company.

And that’s why this finale, this story, this couple works so well for me—it’s queer in the telling, and while it always has been, this season literalized it on a new level and that matters.

[slothquisitor]

What Moves in the Dark: Chapter Six

A post-campaign Baldur's Gate 3 eldritch horror AU.

Chapter Summary: Listen, we all weathered the horror of the last chapter with laudable composure, so I think we deserve a cozier chapter entirely from Astarion's POV.

Read from the beginning.

Read on AO3.

Astarion isn’t sure how much time has passed in Liv’s tiny apartment, but it hasn’t been unpleasant. It’s a bit of a novelty to be welcomed into someone’s home at all. No part of him wanted to be alone out in the city after the horror they’d seen, and while he’s pretty sure there aren't any answers in the books in her apartment, it is a comfort to pretend there might be, that they might solve this with wits and cleverness alone. They won’t, but he has always been very good at indulging other peoples’ fantasies. 

So he’s not sure if it’s an act of meanness or boredom that gets him to break the silence, to call them both out on the lie. “You don’t really believe that you just so happen to have the answer to this mystery within your little library, do you?”

Liv is still at the table, several books spread out before her, but he’d retreated to the comfortable chair nearer the bookshelf. Even from here, he can see the tiredness in her eyes. She should sleep, but he suspects that she couldn’t even if she tried. He suspects a lot of things about this…about whatever the hell they’re doing or why he’s still here. He’s just not sure he’s ready to put a name to any of them. 

“Probably not, but it was something that we could do right now…” She runs a hand down her face. “I don’t know. Is this how it feels?”

“How what feels?”

“Solving problems…saving people?”

He laughs. “There’s usually fewer books involved or at least in my adventures there were fewer books. The seeing things you don’t understand and being scared shitless bit is familiar though.”

“How did you end up saving the world in the first place? Forgive me, but you don’t really seem the heroic type.” 

“You’re just now figuring that out, darling?” The smile he gives her is genuine. “If you must know, I didn’t really have a choice.”

Their victory over the Absolute is only a few tendays old, but already there are many stories circulating in taverns and through the broadsheets. There’s even a kernel of truth to most of them, but in every iteration he’s ever seen, they always fail to capture the truth of it. The pieces that actually mattered. The stories always omit the fear, the stumbling, the quieter moments. He supposes that those things aren’t what makes the stories interesting to everyone else, but those are the ones he remembers and misses most. Not the Netherbrain dropping from the sky, but instead their group huddled around a campfire in the Shadowlands, Karlach telling jokes to keep the shadows at bay. Or the way no one in their group talked to him after defeating Cazador, had instead walked close to him as they exited the palace. No, those are the stories that only they know.

So he tells her his, most of it anyway. About those first terrifying days, looking over his shoulder for Cazador, killing the Gur hunter in the swamp, drinking Tavren’s blood. He tells her how much he resented Tavren at first, though he leaves out his doomed plan to seduce them. Doesn’t tell her anything about his manipulations or why he felt he needed them in the first place. He feels like if he did the shame might swallow him whole. But he does tell her of his slow commitment to the cause, to taking out the Absolute despite his initial hopes to take it over instead. He tells her of Tavren’s commitment to killing Cazador, to helping him despite the fact it did nothing for the larger cause, so that she can understand that he saved the world not because he cared if it burned but because Tavren did. 

Liv listens with that steady gaze of hers, forest dark eyes and something like understanding shifting in their depths. She only interrupts him to ask a question here or there but seems content to simply let him talk, and there’s something intoxicating about having her undivided attention. The more he gets of it, the more he wants, but eventually, the story does come to an end, and he wishes he had more to tell her that didn’t involve two centuries of pain. Because he hasn’t touched that. Doesn’t want to. 

The question Liv asks at the end of his telling is tentative, laced with genuine curiosity, and not a hint of judgment. It absolutely not what he is expecting. “So why help me then if you’re not a hero?” 

That is the question, isn’t it? “Because Tavren would have.” And he’s not in love with Tavren nor does he want to be them, but saying no, looking away from something like this feels like a betrayal of the kindness and friendship they’d offered him. He’s still not sure what it is he believes in, but he does know that if he ever sees Tavren again he wants to be able to say he’s done something worthwhile. 

Helping Liv doesn’t feel like the wrong thing. Besides, a blood disease or creature tainting the blood of those in Baldur’s Gate threatens his food supply, so he’s really helping out of pure self-interest. 

“It sounds like you care a lot for Tavren.” 

“Hard not to. I’ve never met anyone quite like them. They made us all better, even Wyll and Karlach who were already wonderful. That’s probably why they all went to Avernus together. If I was Zariel, I’d be terrified of those three.”

“Do you think they’ll ever come back?” 

“I hope so, for Karlach’s sake. She didn’t want to be damned to the hells for the rest of her life, but they’re together, and I think they’re all happy.”

“And what about you?”

“What about me?”

Liv runs her fingers along the woodgrain of the table, seems to consider a question a moment before finally asking it. “Are you happy?”

“Of course I’m happy. Why wouldn’t I be happy?” 

“It just seems like everyone else triumphed, but you were the only one who lost something by defeating the Absolute.”

And there it is again, her insistence that he’s lost something, that he has somehow come out less than. But the words are offered in softness, like an apology, and he refrains from snarling her. “What do you mean?” he asks instead, words clipped, impatient. 

“The tadpole gave you power…freedom from your master, the ability to walk in the sun, but you gave it all up.”

She has no idea what he gave up. “I did.”

“Sounds pretty heroic to me,” she says with a shrug. As if anything could ever be as simple as that.

And maybe it is, maybe it isn’t, but he thinks that it might be enough that she thinks so. He can feel the way he’s dismantled so many of the barriers between them through the telling of this story, there’s….an understanding between them. An honesty. He’s wondering what might happen if he were to flirt with her now, if she’d continue to sidestep the attention, or if she’d entertain it or even flirt back. He’s wondering what he’d prefer when the sound of the bell downstairs makes them both jump. 

Liv’s eyes meet his for a moment in space, wide with surprise. “Shit. Kharis is early,” Liv whispers and rushes to the window, pulling open the curtains. The sky is filled with light blue promise, dawn isn’t far off. And like a fool, he hadn’t even paid attention. There’s no way he’ll make it to Ramazith’s Tower in time. 

He blames her for this. If it hadn’t been for her questions and her attention he wouldn’t have missed how close the sun was to rising and he would have left an hour ago. “I need to go.”

“Alright, I’ll distract Kharis and you can do that sort of disappearing thing you did earlier and sneak out the front.”

“Great plan, only I can’t do that again until I rest,” he whispers back waspishly. “You’re a wizard, can’t you make me invisible or something?”

She shakes her head. “It’s not a spell I prepared to cast today.”

“Oh for gods’ sake. What is it you do when you have lovers here and Kharis shows up?” 

Her cheeks go a lovely shade of red, but she doesn’t shrink before him. “It’s never been an issue before now.”

He files that particular piece of information away for later needling and sighs. “It’s too late anyway; I’ll never make it to the Upper City in time.”

She looks even more concerned now. “So, what, you’re just trapped here?” 

“Unless you plan on kicking me out. My other options are waiting in some alleyway or hoping I can escape down into the sewers until the sun sets.” This whole thing is dredging up memories of times he didn’t make it back to Szarr Palace in time, to lashings and tortures, and it takes more energy than he’d like to remember that nothing will happen to him if he stays here today. Well, assuming Kharis doesn’t realize he’s here anyway. 

“Well, I’m not going to make you wait in the sewers when you can just stay here,” Liv says with finality. 

“I appreciate that.”

“You’ll have to be quiet otherwise Kharis will realize someone is up here.”

He grins widely. “Darling, trust me, I can be discreet.”

She runs a hand down her face, and he realizes just how tired she looks. “Alright. I’m going to head down to work, really sell the whole, ‘I didn’t sleep all night let’s close up early’ bit.”

“You’re going to work? You didn’t sleep, and I’m just supposed to be up here all on my own all day long?” 

“It’s weird, but my job is still a thing I have to do whether I sleep or not. Kharis will be fine with me closing up early though. Just, please stay quiet. I would love not to get fired and kicked out of my home because I’m harboring a vampire.”

“I’ll be silent as the grave,” he says with a wiggle of his eyebrows. 

She shakes her head, but there’s clear amusement in her small smile before she disappears down the stairs without another word. With Liv gone, he feels that he can finally study her space without interruption. He’s struck again by the smallness of it. It’s neat and tidy, everything seems to have its place. Her books are the place where the most clutter lives, and he realizes now that the claustrophobic nature of the shop isn’t her doing, but Kharis’. 

He absolutely shouldn’t, but he pokes around her things anyway. He looks through her drawers, opens up the cupboards, and tries to understand who this woman really is. He secretly hopes to find some secret drawer somewhere filled with unmentionables, it’s always the quiet ones that surprise you, but she doesn’t own anything even marginally embarrassing. She’s so boring is disappointing. If he’s going to be trapped up here all day he should at least be finding something he can torture her with later, or at least coax another one of those lovely blushes out of her. 

It’s in her desk drawer that he finds it: a nondescript book, covered in gray cloth. He’s pretty sure it’s a diary or a journal, so he settles into the chair, ready to read it and finally know her innermost thoughts. Only when he opens it, it’s not a diary at all. It’s a fucking sketchbook. The first few pages are rough, with more shapes than anything really discernable, and then there are people and scenes and places he recognizes. On one page there’s the fountain and square in front of Sorcerous Sundries. Basilisk Gate. The bow of the Blushing Mermaid. They’re not perfect, but they’re good. 

Suddenly, a piece of her slots into place: she’s an artist. 

Which doesn’t make a lot of sense. Liv is a wizard who spends her days in an alchemy shop and her nights combing the city for people with strange blood. For all he’s shared with her, she’s been surprisingly tight-lipped about her own past. He’s not sure if it’s because she’s actually tight-lipped or if he’s just been an ass and not asked her enough questions. It shouldn’t matter, they’re just strange allies in this adventure they’ve both committed themselves to, but it doesn’t stop him from feeling like there’s something he’s missing. 

Which reminds him of the feeling of being watched he’d noticed when they’d returned to the shop. He quietly pads toward the window and carefully peels back the curtain, avoiding the daylight that streams in. He watches the street for a long while for a lack of anything better to do. Eventually, he notices a man loitering on the street. He’s dressed too well to be a beggar, but he’s playing the part well, looking just busy enough that people don’t pay him any mind, but not too busy that it isn’t clear that he’s watching the shop. There’s any number of reasons in this part of town that someone might be watching the shop. They might even be employed by Kharis, for all Astarion knows, but he makes a note to keep an eye on it. 

The hours crawl by. He wastes time looking through her sketches and paging through her books and generally trying to learn her through her objects. There’s startingly little he gleans. In fact, beyond the books, it’s hard to see her in anything in this space. It all adds to the puzzle that is Liv. Where did she come from that she brought so little with her? She seems to be a woman without a past, or at least without one she’s sharing with him. 

Eventually, he does decide he needs rest, so he plucks a pillow off her bed and a blanket from where it’s draped over the chair and sets up what is certainly not the most depressing bed he’s ever rested in, but is still sad. The pillow smells like her, all warm florals and hints of amber. He does his best to ignore it, slipping into a dreamless reverie. But when he does wake, disoriented and unsure of his surroundings for a moment, no nightmares have overtaken him. He adds the success to his mental tally, as if waking up each day without an immediate reminder of his past is some game he can win. 

He returns the pillow to Liv’s bed, hoping his scent isn’t lingering on it like hers is. Some part of him is embarrassed by the thought he might leave something behind here. He helps himself to some more of the whiskey she’d gotten out earlier and wishes he had blood. And then he settles back into the chair with a book, a well-loved copy of an adventure story he hasn’t read in years. 

It’s early afternoon when he hears Liv’s footsteps making their way up the stairs outside the apartment. He throws a proprietary glance around the space he’s learned so well over the last few hours, notices all the ways it’s clear he’s been poking around it, and then decides he doesn’t care. 

There is exhaustion in every line of Liv’s body. Her face is pale and the lines beneath her eyes look like bruises. She’s putting a good effort into looking unaffected, but it’s not really working. 

“How was work, darling?” he asks, words tilted into a tease. 

“I blame you for this,” she says around a yawn. 

He examines his nails with a wide grin. “I have been known to be the reason people get less than an adequate amount of sleep. Though they do tend to be a tad more complimentary about it.”

As always, she sidesteps his flirting. “Were you comfortable enough up here?”

Since he can’t seem to elicit a reaction with flirting, he tries another tactic. “Oh yes, though you didn’t tell me you were an artist.”

Her head snaps to the desk and the sketchbook lying on top of it instead of tucked away in the drawer. For a moment, he wonders if he’s actually succeeded in making her angry, but instead, he watches the exhaustion win out. “I suppose it was too much to hope for that you wouldn’t go through every single one of my things.”

He’s not sorry. “I had hours and hours with naught to entertain myself. So, you’re an artist.”

She strides over to the desk and puts the sketchbook back inside the drawer though he’s not sure what she thinks she’s accomplishing by hiding it away now. “I’m not an artist.”

“Sure you are,” he replies. “You’re pretty good too.”

“It’s just a hobby. Nothing more.”

“Oh don’t be obtuse. It’s clearly important to you. Why else would you hide your little sketchbook away?” 

She shakes her head. “I’m a wizard, Astarion. I was raised to be good at one thing: magic. Creative pursuits were considered distractions. It’s just a hobby and that’s all it will ever be.”

“Whoever told you that was wrong. Was it your family? You said -”

She looks almost near tears when she looks at him. “Stop. I have been awake since yesterday morning, and I do not want to have this conversation. I need to sleep for at least a few hours, and then you can pester me about everything you managed to snoop through in my apartment.”

He’d wanted to touch a nerve, but not like this. “My apologies. Please, go rest.”

She disappears behind the screen she’s put up which obscures the bed from his view. He can hear the rustle of fabric as she changes her clothes, and later her soft breathing as she sleeps. When she falls asleep, he knows that it’s more out of exhaustion than any real trust, but for some reason, he wants to deserve it anyway. 

Sunset comes and goes, and he hears the soft jangling of the bell that signals Kharis’ exit. He thinks about waking her up before he goes, but he’s not sure what it would serve beyond his own selfishness. She needs more than a handful of hours worth of rest, and their next lead is one he must pursue alone. 

So he writes her a note, leaves it on her table, and disappears out into the night. Like he was always meant to. 

But he is not alone, or at least that ever-persistent feeling he’s being watched is back again. A glance up the street reveals nothing, but he remembers the man from earlier and wonders if it’s connected. Well, he can be sneaky too. He walks away, as if he is leaving this street, but ducks down an alleyway at the first opportunity, fading into the shadows and creeping around the backside of the buildings that sit across from the shop. 

It doesn’t take long to find who is watching the shop. There’s a man tucked in an alcove, all but invisible from the street, but with a clear line of sight to the shop. Astarion recognizes the man’s build and cloak as the same he’d noticed earlier. He sneaks closer, emerging from the shadows, lightning quick, and grasps the man by collar. He hauls him back into the alley, a hand covering his mouth. The man’s eyes are wide with surprise and his blood is rich with fear in a way that makes Astarion’s gums ache. But that’s not why he’s got this man pressed up against a wall in an alley.

“Shhhhshhhshhh, not a sound,” he says, words quiet as a whisper and twice as sharp. “Do you know who I am? Nod.”

The man eagerly nods his affirmation.

“Good. That means you know I don’t need my daggers to rip your throat out. You’re going to tell me why you’ve been watching that shop. If you scream, I will kill you.” Astarion removes his hand from the man’s mouth just a fraction, just enough that he can speak.

“Please don’t kill me. We’re on the same side of things, I promise,” the man stammers around panicked breaths. 

Astarion can’t help but laugh. “I very much doubt that.”

The man leans away from him as if he could simply disappear into the wall itself. “I’m just here on Guild business.”

Another Guild connection? “Guild business?”

The man nods. “Yes. Yes. Orders came direct from the Guildmaster’s inner circle.”

“What orders?” Astarion hisses. 

The man blanches. “I’m not allowed to say.”

Astarion presses the man more firmly into the wall and flashes his fangs just so. The man’s eyes widen. “Uh…we’re just supposed to watch the shop.”

“Why?”

The man shakes his head nervously. “I don’t know, but probably because they help our people. One of my mates got sliced up in a fight a few months back, but the blade was coated in poison, and that woman and the dwarf, they fixed him right up. No questions asked. Figured they’re an asset and that's why we’re watching. It’s not uncommon. The Guild protects its own and all that.”

The man is rambling. “How long have you been watching?” 

“Me personally? A few tendays, but uh…my mate’s been on this assignment for at least six months. It’s boring as hell, but was pretty safe when all that shit with the Stone Lord was going down, you know?”

There’s no lie in the man’s words, so Astarion releases him. He slides down the wall gracelessly. “So you just watch the shop? Watch it for what?”

“Signs of trouble. We’re supposed to report back on who’s coming and going. Nocturnal visitors,” the man says with a hint of innuendo. When Astarion glares at him he coughs. “Anyway, we’re just trying to keep the shop safe and all.”

“Get back to work then,” Astarion says, and then stalks away into the night, carrying far more questions than answers.