#but I suppose the inconsistency is on brand

[hobiesdump]

How are you even cooler under your mask? (Headcanon edition. Canon's Razor version here)

Warning- i cannot decide what to do with Hobie's pronouns

Some context - I'm so here for the headcanon that Gwen was gushing bout Miles to Hobie while she crashed there. Totally accidentally hyping him up and getting um excited to meet him.

-First taking off the mask

'Ok. Keep it steady. Don't seem too eager to know what he looks like'

-Noticing Miles looking to final frame before Miles says it

Glancing over all chill and casual. Even adjusting the nose piercing with a potentially unattractive face (lol sorry, Hobie. Miles maybe thought you were winking at him)

-The first and last frame of Miles saying it with some well lit ones between

-The first frame and 3 after Miles says it

But then Miles has absolutely zero chill. Does not control his expression. Just straight up calls him cool. Not hiding a damn thing and Hobie cracks lol (Miles looks like 'it's literally not even fair how cool you are')

-In summary~

-Hobie's so upset to be going into the spiders' den without clear allies and then Miles thinks he's cool and e just lights up and it's so adorable

Some further headcanon context: I think Hobie tried too hard to be impressive, made Miles feel inferior and defensive, misread that defensiveness as playful teasing and reciprocated what was actually antagonism. This moment was a second chance for first impressions. Miles had really not been picking up on what icebreakers Hobie had been laying down so there was no reason to expect things to go so well so fast.

(And I have several additional notes depending on what multiverse we've stumbled into. I'll start from my least favorite so the post ends on the best note imo)

-Hobie clocked Gwen for the failed ally that she's being and came into this knowing e was going to be the only person actually looking out for Miles. This would make first impressions super important and Hobie probably had already realized a few mistakes were made while masked up. Of course it would be immensely relieving to know that things weren't already horribly damaged between them!

-Shipper Hobie. Especially if Hobie is actually older, e's just doing is best to be a good wing spider to Gwen. Hobie makes sure not to place emself between the two (ok once in the panic of Mumbattan and once to allow Miles to shove im). They even consistently walk ahead of them so they can be as alone together as is possible in a crowded place. The only time they walk without Miles is when Gwen hurried to catch up. (And this isn't because Miles is putting himself between them intentionally. I don't think that ever happens)

-Polyamory mission. Gwen is down for it and Hobie just needs to play it cool enough that they can build up to talking to Miles about it without freaking him out. The main focus would have probably been just making sure he didn't feel so threatened that Gwen seeing other people wouldn't be cool. But then Miles thinks Hobie is cool. And then oh no he's cute. Maybe there's a chance for turning that potential poly angle into a potential poly triangle and the plan has definitely evolved.

[death-rebirth-senshi]

One of the litterboxes I JUST cleaned out and replaced the litter in is already not clumping. Do I just end it all now.

[exa-reblogs]

Some identifiers for AI generated fashion images that I've noticed

So, recently and not unexpectedly, I've seen a major uptick in AI generated images showing up in my searches for fashion photos, specifically. I've seen people make posts like this for specific art styles, and for 2D art in general, but I wanted to share some observations I made regarding clothing, fashion, and runways. I've seen a lot of people getting fooled by these, but it seems like for every one person thinking it's real there's about three people informing them that it's AI, fortunately. I'll admit, a lot of them look somewhat believable at first, but once you look closer it becomes apparent that they're off somehow.

To clarify: this is about common inconsistencies I've personally noticed in AI fashion images, so that you can learn where to look for these and similar inconsistencies and avoid sharing AI content by accident.

There's this one "collection" specifically that seems to come up a lot (also, click on all these images in this post to see the details more clearly):

There's more images like this and yes, despite the "houseofai" watermark I still see people asking who the designer is, or saying that they genuinely thought it was real at first. First and foremost: these are all clearly meant to be from the same runway show, right? Then why does each image look like it was taken on a different runway? The lighting and coloring are different in each one, and the middle one has vague red stairs in the background while the other two look like just a plain light-colored runway. This is something you'll obviously only be able to notice in groups of images and not singular ones, but it's a pretty dead giveaway if you see it.

Secondly: AI generated images, as a whole, tend to have this specific kind of super dramatic lighting with very bright, white lights and soft grey shadows. I'm not very knowledgeable about photography, so I can't explain it exactly, but I know it when I see it (and if someone reading this can properly explain it , please do.)

Thirdly: AI generated fashion tends to attempt perfect symmetry, but always fails somehow.

As for the actual outfits: the best that I can describe it is that a lot of the shapes and patterns just don't look like intentional human choices.

What in the hell is that monogram on the upper right supposed to be? It's clearly mimicking a logo of some kind, but it's messy and indecipherable, not actual branding.

The heart motif is clearly the running theme here, but the hearts don't really make sense. Like the main one in two halves across the chest here: why does it have those two notches missing at the bottom that prevent it from coming to a point at the bottom like a heart is supposed to?

The bottom hem is way longer on the left than on the right.

The little shoulder hearts are like, bleeding into the shoulder seams; those lines in the hair look like they're supposed to be headbands, but they disappear at the part with the rest of the hair; the embroidery on the pants isn't in a clear or intentional pattern.

Again, compare the lighting on this one's neck with the lighting on the last one's neck, totally different.

Those pink things on the chest look like they're trying to be hearts, but they're so clearly not actually hearts. If your collection is heart themed, why aren't you using actual hearts?

The quilting effect is uneven and the individual lines don't follow through and finish in the places they should. Look at the upper right sleeve, where the diamonds are misshapen and the diagonal lines are clearly disconnected. On the lower right chest, the lines just disappear. This can't actually with quilted garments IRL because the top layer is literally stitched to the bottom one along those lines with material in between. It can't fuck up like that, especially not a designer garment that costs your monthly rent.

Smooth zipper. Zippers seem to be a common fuck up.

You can't read the text on the hearts. It's nonsense. Nonsense, unreadable text and fucked up hands are the absolutely surefire ways to identify AI art like this. Conveniently, there are no hands in these photos.

What are those embossed shapes on the sleeves? They're not identifiable as anything in particular.

That is not how zippers work.

I suppose that weird folding beneath the hearts is something technically physically possible. But it's much, much more likely that they would create smoother, less ugly seams with less excess fabric.

These generative AI programs don't actually comprehend what they're trying to depict. Thus, they make mistakes like these. Physical inconsistencies that are often totally impossible, but even the possible things are just... stupid choices that an actual designer isn't going to do. Yeah, sure, designs can be weird, asymmetrical, and imperfect on purpose. But it's way, way more likely that this is just an AI.

Experiment: look at these two images of retro-futuristic headpieces/eyewear and determine whether they're real or AI.

Right one is easy, mostly because of the wonky bitch in the back. But some other inconsistencies I specifically wanna note: if the blue goggles color the "model"'s skin, hair, helmet, and the background behind the lenses blue, why doesn't it do the same for the eyes? And also, I've noticed that a lot of these images have trouble properly rendering the corners of the mouth, which is a weird detail but one you won't be able to unsee once you know to look out for it. Yes, there's a dark line where actual human lips meet, often with some subtle divots at the corners, but in the image on the right, it's rendered as a harsh, gaping hole more like something sculpted out of plastic than actual flesh. On the note of imperfect symmetry again: the left lens isn't perfectly round. And finally, this is a really good example of that giveaway lighting I mentioned. I don't know how you would actually achieve that lighting IRL, but it's so, so common in AI images.

The left photo is an actual model in 1967 wearing pieces designed by Pierre Cardin, a designer that the right image is definitely trying to emulate. The model has a look on her face that isn't super duper expressive, but it's still far beyond any of the AI images I've seen. Every AI fashion image I've seen thus far has totally blank-faced, expressionless "models". They might pout slightly, but I haven't seen any with visible teeth. Something tells me the AI would render teeth the same way it renders fingers. The emblem on the hat is actually perfectly symmetrical, and the glasses are clearly asymmetrical as an intentional design choice, not like the shapes are supposed to be the same but got messed up somehow. And she has ten fingers total, five on each hand.

Two more:

These are both AI generated. I'm not gonna lie, i fell for the one on the left at first. The right is easy:

distorted faces

woman in back is being absorbed by the train(?) seat

those middle buttons on the jacket are totally useless

AI Lighting (TM)

But the "models" on the left look very, very convincing, and the lighting doesn't immediately register to me as AI lighting. The only really wonky thing on the faces is the mouth on the left "model". However, there's one dead giveaway: the headphone wires. Why are they different thicknesses? Why does the rightmost wire disappear into the jacket sleeve? Where the fuck does the leftmost wire even go? AI, I've noticed, struggles with thin lines, strings, and strands of things. Like with the quilted jacket above, you can often try and trace a single line, only to find that it drops off, distorts, or disappears. And sure enough, as soon as I noticed something was weird with those wires, I went to the Pinterest profile that posted it and found that they exclusively posted AI content. Speaking of the actual headphones, the leftmost ear cushion is sitting on an angle that doesn't make sense, and the one to the direct right of it is significantly thinner than the other three. Again, subtle failed symmetry.

This is by no means a comprehensive guide, and I encourage anyone seeing this to point out ways they've found to identify AI images like this. These are things I've just been on the lookout for lately. And when in doubt: conduct reverse image searches and try your best to identify solid sources for your images. AI images won't list designers, model names, photographers, stylists, makeup artists, etc., while actual runway and photoshoot images will, because there are human creatives behind them.

[howi99]

Project ARC remake 16

Weiss: *angry* That Dolt! Why didn't he defend himself? It's like he wants to get killed!?

Ren: *looking at Weiss* I don't think he doesn't want to defend but more so that he is incapable. We saw how efficient he was at dispatching Grimms.

Weiss: That's why i don't get it! He could go toe-to-toe with a deathstalker! Why is he struggling against Cardin!?

Ren: I don't know why, but he is unable to attack anyone. He said it was against protocol, but what was he talking about?

Pyrrha: Maybe where he trained, they couldn't fight in exhibition match? Maybe he only learned how to fight against grimms?

Weiss: *rolling her eyes* Pyrrha, you saw just as i how good he was at dodging and weaving. He knows how to fight.

Pyrrha: Then... Maybe he is a pacifist?

Ren: *Thinking* Then why did he choose to come to Beacon? Why not just take the huntsman exam?

Pyrrha: Why didn't you? Would have been easier than coming all this way from Mistral.

Ren: I'm not really good when it comes to fighting grimm. I know i still have a lot to learn.

Weiss: *sigh* When he's back, i'll ask him.

_________

Ozpin: *looking at the camera footage showing Jaune's inability to retaliate against Cardin* ... There must be a way to overwrite his protocol.

Qrow: *drinking a bit* that would be asking the good doctor to remove it. But then again, he might just want to study him. It's not everyday someone is missing part of their soul.

Glynda: *hitting the table with enough force the marble fissured* I REFUSE! *Panting, her aura trying to heal the broken bones in her hand*

Qrow: *jumping from Glynda outburst*

Ozpin: *sigh* His condition isn't getting better Glynda. You know that, right?

Glynda: *grinding her teeth* He's the reason my brother is in this state! *Sitting down* I was supposed to be there for him...

Ozpin: *sigh* It shouldn't have happened. The fact is, Salem found the right person even though we took precautions. We couldn't have known.

_________

Watts: *looking at Pietro* What is it?

Pietro: *scratching the back of his neck* My daughter is asking for an update on Jaune.

Watts: *annoyed* Well, so am i! That damn kid is still missing in action and we STILL haven't found a body!

Pietro: You seem... worried?

Watts: Well of course i am! Imagine if someone with half a brain took him and retro-engineered him!? He's the first fighting prototype to actually be somewhat as good as yours!

Pietro: *shaking his head* Again with that? Penny is my daughter, not just a project to complete or a work in progress.

Watts: *rolling his eyes* You and your damn feelings, i can't understand, really i can't.

Pietro: Really? So the clothes you buy for each and every A.R.C you make, all of them chosen after carefully asking each what their favorite type of clothes and brand are.

Watts: *groan*

Pietro: *laughing* Ah don't worry, i will not ask about the birthday cake in the fridge.

Watts: ... *Sigh* White, made it for Jaune. We know he is alive, his vitals are still transmitted even if they are inconsistent.

Pietro: I see... Well, i will tell Penny the same news as always.

Watts: *looking at Jaune's Vital, seeing his aura getting from 70 to 71* Hm...

Pietro: *who was leaving* What's wrong?

Watts: Well, nothing wrong per say... His aura stayed at 70 for the last month but... It seems to finally get up? I wonder why.

[thatbitchery]

BTW I tell y'all I have severe ADHD once every ten seconds because i want you to know I'm a low performer. I procrastinate on important matters for months and sometimes, most times really, it costs me opportunities and relationships and peace of mind because I'll know I'm supposed to do X but have no willpower whatever to do X. I want you ladies to know that's sometimes I hyperfixate on things with no importance whatsoever and that takes away my energy from things that are important. Hell, just last week I spent 8 hours on my laptop reading on bears and watching beat videos when I had work to do. That I have time blindness and sometimes am extremely late or extremely early or just get days mixed up and do Thursday things on Wednesday because I thought it's Thursday or forget it's Friday and not do Friday things and it costs me, dearly. Expensively. That I am inconsistent as they come and even a machine gun to my head can't get me to do something that my brain rejects. That sometimes I cry for hours because I feel pathetic and sad and too small with dreams too big. That somedays I wake up with the energy of a thousand Suns and start 58868 projects, create a brand new goals list for things I'll do in my life and go strong for three days then just- dump it after the energy falls. Then hate the hell out of myself because what the hell. That everytime I want to pick a new hobby or buy something or make a decision I hesitate because , do I really want this or is it dopamine and I'll dump it after 6 working days, because I have too many WIPs that Im yet to complete but can't bring myself to. That I need 168979 watches with alarms and a digital to do list and a manual to do list and sometimes I'll still get nothing done. That I try, so hard, and sometimes, just can't. And everyone that's supposed to help has the same recycled tips that just will not work for me. That I had medication for a while that worked but my body got used to it and overpowered it, so now even the option for medication is out of the picture - so I have to live like this for the rest of my life. That sometimes I run purely on ego because my self esteem is on the floor. That everytime I get a new opportunity I panic a little because what if I give up midpoint and ruin my reputation?? What if? That I self isolate because when I have too much energy I can't sit still and I interrupt everyone and need to run or I'll combust. That I self isolate because I have low social awareness and could easily say the wrong thing at the wrong time. Because I'm not normal and that feels shameful sometimes. That even CBT hasn't been able to set me straight, but I worked so hard to make money for therapy and medication and it's not working so I've also lost my will to work because what is it even for?????

I could Grammarly and AI my posts and have them professional looking but I want the ADHD girls with a brain faster than their hands to know it's okay to leave some words out because your brain is 6 words ahead of your hand and you're trying to keep up. I want the dyslexia girlies to know you can still write even when you're not sure if that thing makes sense, the people that mind do not matter and the people that matter do not mind. Because I want the 'english is not my first language' girls like me that struggle with adverbs and nouns and tenses and spelling to know hey it's okay, just write. You want to write, write. Do it for you. Forget the rest. I could polish all my posts, I do it for my work and official documents but if I do what will the girlies that need to know they're not stupid, English is just a language and spellings don't matter that much and you can communicate outside perfection see to reinforce their desire?? What will the autistics that want to try blogging but feel scared because they can't arrange their thoughts in a comprehensive manner and get lost in side stories sometimes look at and go oh my god- we exist and it's okay because we can still influence.

I tell you ladies every three seconds that I am a dark skinned black 5'4 slim immigrant in a white supremacist country because I want the girls that fit neither the beauty standards or the stereotypical standards to know they can chase their dreams and it doesn't matter. So the girlies of color that watch news and movies and social media and see people that look like them being murdered and disrespected and read the comments to know yeah, you can still do it, get on that plane. If I don't what will the girls that know for a fact that was unfair treatment look at when they need to know they can still rise above and make it??? If I dont tell you that actually I'm not where I am because I'm the hardest working in the room- I'm actually hella lazy- I'm where I am because I manipulate cheat claw gaslight blackmail my way how will the girls that work hard and still not achieve know that it's not because them it's because the world is unfair and you win by being unfair. I could play good girl , I could, I could tell you just work hard and go for it but then what will the girls that did all that and still failed look at to make sense of the world around them? Justify how things got here when they did everything they were supposed to? I say be a bitch so the girls that are demonized for not taking it lying down can be bitchier. I say learn the patriarchy and fit the beauty standards as much as you can and cosplay what's likeable not to conform but to cosplay and manipulate so that the girls that know it's wrong realize that you should just play them the way they play you - that's real feminism. That's real equality, learning the game to learn how to cheat and win because you were born to lose, the rules aren't made with you in mind so why would you stick to them, and fighting them is futile, you'll lose. I say being feared >> than being loved for the girls that got manipulated used trashed in the name of love. I tell you people are animals that survive by low balling each other so you can make a little sense of your trauma and forgive yourself for what you had to become to survive.

This blog is for the outsiders, actually. The girls that do not see content made that make sense for them, the girls that are born into a world that has no space for them and couldn't fit in if they tried because it's impossible. I'm here as proof you can make it. Autistic dyslexic ADHD black female , ticking all the wrong boxes and still making it. That's why I'm here, to show you how. To show you, you can. It's okay, you're okay. In fact, you're- better.

[racefortheironthrone]

Was the Comics Code as bad as the Hays Code?

That's a really good question!

I suppose it depends on what you mean by "as bad" - are we talking about the overall impact of the Code on American pop culture or are we talking about the actual content of the Code and what it banned and/or mandated in terms of artistic expression?

I've written a little bit about the Hays Code here, but my main focus was on subtextual judaism in Hollywood generally rather than what the Code was and what its impact on American cinema was.

So what did the Hays Code actually include?

One of the few positive things you can say about it is that the men who devised it were quite clear and forthright about what would and wouldn't be allowed, in comparison to the vagueness and inconsistency of the modern MPAA. So here's the list of what couldn't be shown:

Pointed profanity—by either title or lip—this includes the words God, Lord, Jesus, Christ (unless they be used reverently in connection with proper religious ceremonies), Hell, S.O.B., damn, Gawd, and every other profane and vulgar expression however it may be spelled; (You'll notice that the Code is very much a snapshot of the transition from silent movies to "talkies," with the discussion of how profanity is spelled as well as produced via "lip.")

Any licentious or suggestive nudity—in fact or in silhouette; and any lecherous or licentious notice thereof by other characters in the picture;

The illegal traffic in drugs;

Any inference of sex perversion; (i.e anything having to do with LGBT+ people and culture. For more on the impact of the Hays Code on the LGBT+ community, see the excellent documentary the Celluloid Closet.)

White slavery; (the 1920s version of sex trafficking, but with added racism!)

Miscegenation;

Sex hygiene and venereal diseases;

Scenes of actual childbirth—in fact or in silhouette;

Children's sex organs;

Ridicule of the clergy;

Willful offense to any nation, race or creed; and (this one was really honored in the breach more than the observance when it came to nations, races, and creeds of non-dominant groups in society.)

The following things could be shown, but "special care be exercised in the manner in which the following subjects are treated, to the end that vulgarity and suggestiveness may be eliminated and that good taste may be emphasized:"

The use of the Flag;

International Relations (avoid picturizing in an unfavorable light another country's religion, history, institutions, prominent people and citizenry); (again, depended a lot on what country you're talking about.)

Arson;

The use of firearms;

Theft, robbery, safe-cracking, and dynamiting of trains, mines, buildings, et cetera (having in mind the effect which a too-detailed description of these may have upon the moron); (I guess the idea was that the MPPDA believed very strongly in the idea that media could affect people's behavior through imitation, but the use of the word "moron" gives me eugenics vibes.)

Brutality and possible gruesomeness;

Technique of committing murder by whatever method;

Methods of smuggling;

Third-Degree methods; (i.e, torture)

Actual hangings or electrocutions as legal punishment for crime; Sympathy for criminals; (this was a big one; Hollywood had done very well from gangster films, so a lot of creators had to do some careful threading of the needle to keep the genre alive. One dodge that they came up with was that they would have a duplicate "final reel" in which the gangster would have their inevitable comeuppance, and then remove the final reel when the censors had left the theater. Very popular with white rural teens.) Attitude toward public characters and institutions; (again, Hollywood shifting from being anti- to pro-establishment.)

Sedition;

Apparent cruelty to children and animals;

Branding of people or animals;

The sale of women, or of a woman selling her virtue;

Rape or attempted rape;

First-night scenes; (i.e, wedding nights)

Man and woman in bed together; (hence the eventual TV practice of showing married couples in separate beds in the 50s)

Deliberate seduction of girls;

The institution of marriage;

Surgical operations;

The use of drugs;

Titles or scenes having to do with law enforcement or law-enforcing officers;

Excessive or lustful kissing, particularly when one character or the other is a "heavy".

So in general, we can say that the Hays Code was extremely sex-negative, very concerned about crime and anti-establishment thinking, sexist, racist, and homophobic, and in general afraid of offending anybody.

So what about the Comics Code Authority?

So this is what the Comics Code looked like in 1954:

Crimes shall never be presented in such a way as to create sympathy for the criminal, to promote distrust of the forces of law and justice, or to inspire others with a desire to imitate criminals. If crime is depicted it shall be as a sordid and unpleasant activity.

Policemen, judges, government officials, and respected institutions shall never be presented in such a way as to create disrespect for established authority.

Criminals shall not be presented so as to be rendered glamorous or to occupy a position which creates a desire for emulation. In every instance good shall triumph over evil and the criminal punished for his misdeeds.

Scenes of excessive violence shall be prohibited. Scenes of brutal torture, excessive and unnecessary knife and gunplay, physical agony, the gory and gruesome crime shall be eliminated.

No comic magazine shall use the words "horror" or "terror" in its title.

All scenes of horror, excessive bloodshed, gory or gruesome crimes, depravity, lust, sadism, masochism shall not be permitted.

All lurid, unsavory, gruesome illustrations shall be eliminated. Inclusion of stories dealing with evil shall be used or shall be published only where the intent is to illustrate a moral issue and in no case shall evil be presented alluringly, nor so as to injure the sensibilities of the reader.

Scenes dealing with, or instruments associated with walking dead, torture, vampires and vampirism, ghouls, cannibalism, and werewolfism are prohibited.

Profanity, obscenity, smut, vulgarity, or words or symbols which have acquired undesirable meanings are forbidden.

Nudity in any form is prohibited, as is indecent or undue exposure. Suggestive and salacious illustration or suggestive posture is unacceptable.

Females shall be drawn realistically without exaggeration of any physical qualities.

Illicit sex relations are neither to be hinted at nor portrayed. Rape scenes, as well as sexual abnormalities, are unacceptable.

Seduction and rape shall never be shown or suggested.

Sex perversion or any inference to same is strictly forbidden.

Nudity with meretricious purpose and salacious postures shall not be permitted in the advertising of any product; clothed figures shall never be presented in such a way as to be offensive or contrary to good taste or morals.[16]

You'll notice the similarities when it comes to the Codes' attitude to sex, sexuality, crime, and symbols of authority - so to answer the first part of your question, I would say the CCA was pretty similar to the Hays Code (in part because Charles F. Murphy, who drew it up, was deeply unoriginal and basically cribbed off the Hays Code throughout).

However, there are also some significant areas of difference that have a lot to do with the unique circumstances of the 1950s moral panic over comics. See, in the 1950s, superhero comics were considered deeply uncool and old hat - they had been huge in the 40s during the war, but by the 50s the biggest genre in comics were horror, crime, and romance comics (with cowboy comics bringing up the rear). To quote myself from another post:

"This gave rise to a moral panic in the 1950s, although more accurately it was part of the larger moral panic over juvenile delinquency. The U.S Senate established a Juvenile Delinquency Subcommittee of the Judiciary Committee in 1953 to investigate the causes of juvenile delinquency and comics became a major target. While Wertham’s book is best known today for its assertions that Batman and Robin were teaching young boys to be gay and Wonder Woman was teaching young girls to be lesbians, the main focus of the Subcommittee [edit mine: and Wertham's academic work] was on horror and crime comics for their depiction of sex, violence, and “subversive” attitudes to law and order."

The CCA made it impossible to publish two of the most popular genres in the industry for a generation (the CCA relaxed its stance on horror stuff a bit in the 70s, which is why Marvel trend-chased werewolves and vampires the moment they could get away with it), which not only scrambled the medium (and potentially created space for the Silver Age of superhero comics to flourish) but drove the former titan EC Comics practically out of business. (Indeed, William Gaines of EC Comics believed that the CCA had been specifically worded to drive him out of business.)

So in some ways, the CCA was worse.

[sixhours]

One Day at a Time - Chapter 8 - Beginning

Series Chapter Index | Read on AO3 | Complete

Rating: Explicit, 18+, here be smut Series tags: The Last of Us, The Last of Us (HBO), Joel Miller x f!OFC, Joel & Ellie, mostly follows canon, SMUT, gratuitous smut, dubious consent (drunk sex), unplanned pregnancy, fluff, references to past miscarriages, angst, hurt/comfort, romance, age gap (~21 years), childbirth, fluffy baby stuff, I've probably forgotten some so please let me know <3

The midwife is the first to notice that Anna’s startle reflex is inconsistent. When she suggests the baby might be deaf, Joel wants to write it off as the woman’s usual dour attitude, but as the weeks pass, it becomes clear that something is different. It’s impossible to make enough noise to wake her, she doesn’t turn her head toward their voices, and she’s inconsolable when they’re out of her limited line of sight. They spend several sleepless nights worrying, making loud noises and watching Anna intently for responses that usually don’t come.

There’s nothing to do about it, though, except wait and see…like her pregnancy all over again. One day at a time.

Anna is most content when she’s tucked into the soft cloth wrap, held tight against someone’s chest, where she can feel the soothing purr of speech against her tiny body. They get adept at going about their daily routines with the baby strapped to them like a marsupial in a makeshift pouch. She especially seems to like Joel’s soft flannel shirts and his deep, rumbly voice–he’s the best at getting her to nap.

Or, as Ellie puts it, boring her to sleep .

Ellie spends more time with them, enamored with her baby sister in a way Joel couldn’t have predicted. He supposes he shouldn’t be surprised, having watched her with Sam all those months ago, but her fierce devotion to this brand-new person in their lives makes him light-headed with pride.

Baby things showed up at their house out of the blue in the days after Anna was born; an antique cradle, bottles, more diapers, and a breast pump contraption that Charlie says makes her feel like a dairy cow. There are enough clothes to outfit a small army and mystery casseroles lining their freezer for weeks.

Tonight he takes one of the casseroles out and sniffs at it warily.

“Not sure about this one, kid,” he says to Anna, strapped to his chest. “Can’t be worse than that tuna surprise thing, though. House smelled for a week.”

The baby makes a soft cooing noise and sticks out her tongue in response.

“Yeah? Well, you didn’t have to eat it,” he mutters, turning on the oven.

“Talking to yourself again?” Charlie murmurs from the couch, snuggled under a throw.

“I’m havin’ a conversation with my daughter,” he says, stroking the baby’s head. “And you’re s’posed to be napping.”

She sits up, bleary-eyed and wan. “Can’t sleep. I miss her.”

“Hear that?” he murmurs. “Mama misses you. Maybe you should wake her up more often. Five times last night wasn’t enough.”

Joel wanders over to the couch and unearths the baby from her wrap to hand her to Charlie, who takes her with a smile and a soft hi sweet girl . Warmth blooms in his chest, followed by sadness; the two often go hand in hand.

Sarah never had this, he thinks, and he mourns what he couldn’t give her; the love of a mother, the delight of a new sibling.

But Anna has it all, in this family cobbled together from spare parts and broken pieces. Like the beginning of a bad joke— a widow, an orphan, and a childless father walk into a bar –where she is the most beautiful punchline he’s ever heard.

Joel comes home to find Ellie on the couch with the baby in her lap and a book on the cushion next to her, frowning in concentration as she flips through the pages. Anna is nine weeks old and more alert than ever, bright eyes taking in everything, and at the moment she’s fascinated by her big sister’s hands, moving in slow, measured gestures in front of her face.

“Where’s Charlie?”

“Your girlfriend is taking a nap,” Ellie says without looking up from her book.

“She’s not–”

He catches himself before he can finish his sentence and Ellie smirks.

“Caught ya.”

Joel sighs. “What’re you doin’?”

She flips to the book cover to show him; An Introduction to American Sign Language .

“Sam taught me some, but I found this at the library. I figured it can’t hurt to start early.”

His throat tightens and he blinks back tears. God, his kids have turned him into a walking fucking water fountain.

“That’s…a great idea, kiddo,” he says, squeezing her shoulder.

“I know,” she says. “Besides, you can use it, too, when your hearing eventually goes.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he mutters. He bends down to boop Anna’s nose. “Your sister is somethin’ else, kid. I’m gonna check on your mo–I mean my–our–”

He growls as Ellie looks up at him expectantly, a wry little smirk on her face.

“I’m gonna check on Charlie,” he sighs. “Call me if you need me.”

He hears a whisper at his back.

“What’s the sign for ‘They are so fucked’?”

Ellie’s laughter and Anna’s quiet coos follow him upstairs.

They still haven’t talked about them . They share a bed, they care for Anna, and…that’s about it. The midwife mentioned something about “resuming sexual activities” and “birth control” and maybe even a vasectomy at their final appointment, and it had taken all Joel had not to laugh in her face. He hasn’t had so much as a hard-on since the kid was born, and Charlie is permanently attached to her when she’s not sleeping or eating.

It might have bothered him if he weren’t so sleep-deprived.

In the bedroom, Charlie is buried under the blankets. He doesn’t mean to wake her, but she startles when the door creaks open.

“Anna?”

“Ellie’s got her, it’s just me,” Joel whispers. “Sorry.”

Charlie sits up, rubbing at her eyes, holding her breasts as if testing their weight. “S’okay. She needs to eat soon.”

He takes a seat on the edge of the bed, smiles at Charlie’s mussed hair. He’s watched her closely over the last few weeks, hyper-alert for signs of depression, for the grief that he knows will never completely subside. A horrible little voice in the back of his mind insists that it’s only a matter of time before she leaves them.

Sarah’s mom made it four months.

But Charlie seems content if exhausted. They’re both exhausted, even with help. With Sarah he’d had the advantage of youth; with Anna, Joel feels every single one of his fifty-eight years…mostly in his back.

“Did you know Ellie’s teachin’ the baby sign language?” he asks.

“Mmm, she mentioned something about that,” Charlie yawns. “She’s smart, your kid. We’re raising geniuses.”

Joel ducks his head to hide a blush of pride. “They’re gonna leave us in their dust someday.”

We. Us.

He reaches out to cup Charlie’s face in one hand, rubbing his thumb along her cheekbone. He could say it was all lust until now, but watching her with Anna makes him feel like a lovesick teenager. Charlie leans into his touch, meets his eyes, and his stomach clenches with a kind of pleasant ache he hasn’t felt in weeks.

Maybe he’s going to need to look into that vasectomy after all.

The moment is rudely interrupted by a wail, followed by Ellie’s voice drifting up the stairs.

“Hey, lovebirds! Your spawn needs a diaper change.”

Joel and Ellie are sprawled on the couch, her tucked into one corner and him on the opposite side, slouched down with Anna on his chest, a movie playing in the background. The baby won’t sleep in the beautiful hand-carved cradle for more than fifteen minutes at a time, preferring instead to slumber on a warm body.

There was a time in Joel’s life when he would have said they were spoiling her, but now, acutely aware of his limited years in a way he’s never been before, he’s decided Anna can fall asleep in his arms until she’s thirty if she wants. There is no such thing as spoiling her as far as he’s concerned.

He’s half asleep, trying to wait out the next hour and a half to let Charlie get some rest, when Ellie’s voice drifts into his consciousness.

“I think I get it now.”

“Get what?” he murmurs, barely able to open his eyes.

“Why you lied to me.”

He’s awake now. His head snaps up to face her. Ellie is curled in a ball with her arms around her knees, watching the baby rise and fall with the rhythm of his breath.

“If it were her…I’d do anything to keep her safe,” she says softly.

Oh.

His first instinct is to lie again, but something about Ellie’s expression and the way she’s watching Anna gives him pause. Between the two of them, they’ve cracked him open. He’s too tired and old to hold secrets.

“I’m sorry I lied to you,” he rasps. “I shouldn’t’ve done that. It was wrong.”

He meets her eyes, waits until he’s sure that she sees him, because she can’t just hear it–she needs to know it with her whole being, to believe it as deeply as he does.

“But I’m not sorry–I’ll never be sorry–for what I did. And I’d do it again in a heartbeat for you…or her.”

Ellie nods, but she frowns, her voice going small and tight.

“What if she was bit?”

The question drops from her lips like a bomb and Joel instinctively tightens his grip around Anna at the thought.

“Wouldn’t you hate me?” she whispers. “For not…for not being able to save her?”

“Never,” he says roughly. “I could never hate you, Ellie.”

“But…what if she could grow up in a better world? A world where you never had to worry about her…or Charlie…or anyone…getting infected,” Ellie asks softly.

He wants to tell her that none of this would have been possible if she weren’t here–their life in Jackson, Charlie, or Anna. He wants to tell her that she is the catalyst for everything he’s done right in his sorry life.

His girl, who wanted to save the world, had saved him instead.

But words are failing so he swallows his tears and puts an arm out. Ellie slides over, curling into his side, and he’s momentarily stunned by her solidity against him. She’s grown in the months since they returned from Salt Lake City. She’s taller, her face thinning out, more like a young woman than a child.

It happens too damn fast, he thinks, looking down at the sleeping infant on his chest.

He whispers the words into Ellie’s hair when his throat finally unlocks, watery and thick.

“She’s growin' up in a better world because you’re in it.”

“She’s finally out,” Charlie whispers, backing away from the cradle and collapsing onto the bed on her stomach with a groan. “I don’t know how one tiny human can eat so much.”

“I’ll take her tonight,” he says. “She can have a bottle.”

“You have patrol in the morning.”

“Can’t sleep for shit anyway,” he shrugs. “Did you eat? Caf’s still open, I can grab you something.”

“Mmm. Maybe later. I need about ten hours of sleep and a big glass of wine,” she mutters into the pillow.

“I can offer you six hours of sleep and a beer.”

“I’ll take it,” she yawns, then brightens. “Oh! I found something at the post today.” 

She rolls over, digs in the nightstand drawer, then unearths a small black box and tosses it into his lap.

He blinks down at it, unsure if it’s the suggestion or the fatigue that slows his tongue. His heart quickens.

“Are these…?”

“Condoms,” she grins. Then she’s crawling toward him and straddling his lap, much the way she did the first time, and she glances over at the silent cradle. “We have a couple hours…should we see if they’re any good?”

“God yes please,” he breathes, all tiredness suddenly forgotten as her mouth finds his, open and wanting.

There’s laundry scattered around the floor, empty bottles and water glasses on the nightstand, used burp cloths draped over the furniture, and the faint smell of sour milk lingers in the air.

And all of it ceases to matter because she’s holding his face in her hands and kissing him, really kissing him for the first time in weeks. Not a peck on the cheek or a nuzzled brush of her lips to his forehead when she thinks he’s still sleeping, but an honest-to-god kiss with tongue and teeth and bite.

Soon she’s rolled underneath him and he’s supping long, languid kisses from her lips, eliciting sweet little moans and breathy gasps that have him thrusting his aching cock into her bare stomach, seeking relief in friction. Even with the condom to dull the sensations, this will be over before it’s begun if he doesn’t get a fucking grip, so he pulls reluctantly away to explore the rest of her body.

Breastmilk gathers in little pearls on the peaks of her nipples, sweet and thick on his tongue as he teases and sucks his way down her chest. He traces the silvery lines on her lower stomach with his nose, the places where she’s been permanently marked because of their daughter, because of him . The sight of her gently swollen belly and the velvety softness of the stretched skin only makes him want her more.

She whimpers when he tastes her, moans when he sucks at her swollen clit and laps at her folds until she’s writhing and coming. Then she’s pulling on his hair with an urgency he understands and he’s rolling one of the condoms on and sinking into her delicious heat. She’s so close like this, pinned by his hips and chest, pressed underneath him like a flower.

He can’t pull himself away from her mouth, can’t stop kissing her and tasting her and swallowing her cries. Her arms enfold him, rubbing languid strokes up and down the slope of his back, pressing into his ass, urging him deeper. He reaches for her hand and rests their entwined fingers above her head.

Mine , he thinks with every thrust, heat coiling in his gut, crawling up his spine. Mine, mine, mine.

“Yours,” she sighs, arching into him, answering the words he didn’t realize he’d spoken out loud. He presses his forehead against hers and stills, breathing hard.

“Yeah?”

His voice is ragged with emotion. Her palms come up to cup his face.

“All yours,” she whispers, then she kisses him and kisses him and he prays the condom does its damn job because he’s falling over the edge.

He’s still softening inside her, luxuriating in the feel of her mouth against his, when the baby wails from her cradle.

Charlie groans underneath him. “Already?”

“Well…we got fifteen minutes,” he mumbles, burying his face in the crook of her neck.

“Give yourself credit, it was at least twenty.”

“It’s like a sixth sense,” he mutters, pulling out with a groan. “Surprised Ellie’s not at the damn door, too.”

Charlie snorts a laugh, sitting up and pulling the sheet to her chest.

“I’m comin’, baby girl,” he says. “Hold on, I know…m’right here.”

But Anna can’t hear him, of course. He pokes his head over the cradle and she quiets. “I’ll be right back.”

She protests loudly when he leaves her line of sight again, totally abandoned. He disposes of the condom and washes his hands…now where the hell are his boxers? The din of Anna’s crying in the background has him stumbling over his feet.

Finally, he plucks her up out of the cradle and puts her against his chest.

“Hey, kid, you’re fine,” he rumbles against her.

She growls in response, all attitude, one tiny fist stuffed into her mouth.

“Think she’s hungry,” he murmurs, nuzzling the top of her head. “Want me to get her a bottle so you can sleep?”

“No,” Charlie says, two wet spots blooming on the bedsheet. “You primed the pump. I’m leaking all over myself.”

“Lucky kid,” he grins. “You get the real deal.”

“You just ate, sweet girl,” Charlie sighs as the baby latches. “Where does it all go?”

“Based on the laundry I folded today, I have an idea,” Joel mutters, crawling back into bed. He sits up against the headboard and pulls Charlie into his arms so she’s propped against him. She burrows into his shoulder and closes her eyes as the baby makes greedy little suckling noises. His free arm wraps around them, cupping Anna’s head, feeling the pulse of her heartbeat in his palm.

Maybe it’s the sex that loosens his tongue, or maybe he’s just too tired to worry over the fallout. He takes a deep breath.

“So I know we said…you’d stay until the kid is born…and that was, uh, ten weeks ago.”

“You kicking me out?” Charlie murmurs, playing with the baby’s tiny fingers as she nurses.

“No,” he says quickly. “You can stay as long as you want. I just…don’t want you to feel like you have to…or like we’re expected to be, uh…something we’re–”

“Joel,” she says, soft but firm. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Heat blooms in his chest.

“Yeah?”

She tilts her head up to look at him, silver eyes shining, and answers him with a long, sweet, lingering kiss that reignites the fire in his lower belly.

He’s definitely gonna need that vasectomy.

[mydisenchantedeulogy]

Sweet Decadence || Part 1 of 2 || Bi-Han/Sub-Zero

A/n: This is the sequel to 'The Bitter Truth'. I have separated it into 2 parts for my reasons, but I want to thank those who read TBT and supported the story.

Please enjoy.

Warning(s): obsessive behavior, female reader, reader uses magic, kidnapping, fights, sequel, post-game.

No Minors Allowed!!

There is something magical about the rain that makes the colors of nature seem much more vivid to you. Though perhaps it is just the blissful mood you are in, altering your perception of things. A rare sight these days, considering how inconsistent your thoughts have been since your heated run-in with Bi-Han.

Hiding away in your room at the newly set up Shirai Ryu compound, you stare out at the forest beyond your balcony in a dazed state as the summer rain pelts the trees and earth. 

It feels like nothing but a dream now, and to be honest, you sometimes yearn to close your eyes and return to that moment again. You do not want to be reminded of the past; of the anger and the betrayal that comes with it. No. You just want to remember the feeling.

He was right, that much is clear now. 

“You are in denial. It's clear to me where your loyalty lies, and until you come to terms with the bitter truth, I'll leave you with that reminder.”

A phantom pain seizes you, but you ignore it. Just like your morals at the moment. No, you are not an idiot. You know what Bi-Han desires is immoral, but you can not put aside your sentiments for him; sentiments that became clear when he fucked you. 

For fuck’s sake. That sounds bad. 

It is true though. Not a day has gone by since then that you haven't thought about him; about the way he made you feel, unintentional or not.

Tilting your head back, you rest it against the doorframe and stare up at the ceiling with the sound of the rain in your ears. Your mind is a labyrinth and you do not necessarily care. This ebb and flow of thoughts proves that you have not yet lost your standards. 

So long as you avoid Bi-Han in the future, you should be fine.

A sudden knock pulls you from your thoughts and you tilt your head to the side, glancing at the door to the far left of you. 

“It's unlocked,” you announce. 

A moment later, Harumi Shirai saunters in. You sit up to address her properly, but she raises her hand to stop you. 

“There is no need for such formalities, not when it is I who came to see you.” 

You grin. 

“As the soon-to-be wife of my Grandmaster, it is indeed needed.”

It is strange to address Kuai Liang as Grandmaster, but after all that he has been through and done to build the Shirai Ryu, he deserves the title. He even found time for love. 

Harumi offers you a kind smile. 

“It is our secret.”

She wanders across the room and sits in front of your vanity.

“Are you faring well?”

You hum.

“For the most part.”

After you came back from the fortress you reported to Kuai Liang about your run-in with Bi-Han, though you opted not to mention the fact you fucked him. The brand he left was hard enough to explain, but it could not be avoided; you needed medical attention. 

Kuai Liang viewed it as a failed attempt to lure you back to Lin Kuei, but it was apparent that he was curious about what dark agenda his brother had regarding you. 

In truth, you should be dead for denying him. 

“And your wound? I can have someone take a look at it if it still pains you,” Harumi mentions. 

You decline her offer. 

“Though appreciated, that is not necessary.” You subconsciously rest your hand against the brand on your side. “The pain went away months ago…yet it sometimes still burns.” 

Harumi frowns. 

“If it begins to bother you, I suggest you tell me.”

You snort. It is no wonder Kuai Liang loves her; she is considerate, yet stern.

“Yes, Madam.” 

Harumi nods her head in approval and then stands. 

“I will see you at lunch. You missed breakfast.”

You are aware. But you suppose that is what warranted this visit. 

“The rain has put me in a strange mood,” you lie. “But I will be there.”

Harumi seems unsure, but she does not voice her concerns. Instead, she wishes you a good morning and leaves you to your thoughts again. 

You understand. Kuai Liang and Tomas are worried about you. But it is not their problem, it is yours. 

Your obsession with Bi-Han is yours to bear.

Shifting your eyes, you stare in a haze at the forest again. Perhaps soon this fixation will pass. For your sake, it had better. 

–

At noon, you tear yourself away from the comfort of your bedroom, following the briny scent of fish to the dining room. A spread of rice and vegetables accompanies it, making your stomach twist in hunger. 

Before you sit across from Tomas on the left side of the table, you bow in respect to Kuai Liang, who nods his head. 

“I am pleased to see that you joined us.”

You grin and turn your eyes to Harumi beside him. 

“I was encouraged to.”

Kuai Liang glances at her, then returns to his lunch. You follow suit, however, you notice that in attendance, there are only the four of you. 

“Where are the others?” You ask as you pick up your drink.

“Running exercises,” Tomas answers. “Though some are spread out in the nearby villages.”

An unsure look from Kuai Liang makes you pause a moment. You raise a curious brow. 

“What is it?”

The Grandmaster sighs. 

“Nothing concerning as of yet…but we have heard rumors of hostiles.”

Hostiles. A neighboring clan perhaps. This is the first time you have heard about it, but you suppose the brothers have their reasons.

Focusing on your lunch, you hardly notice the injured ninja stumble in until he collapses to the floor in a bloody mess. In shock, you rush over to him, followed by Tomas who carefully checks over his wounds. He is in bad shape, but thankfully alive.

“Who did this?” Tomas asks in anger. 

The ninja raises his trembling hand. You notice a thin metal plate in the palm of his hand and upon further inspection, you notice a familiar symbol etched into it. Your stomach churns in dread. 

“Lin Kuei.”

Here of all places.

Tomas widens his eyes and takes the plate from you. He stands just as Kuai Liang approaches with a healer, handing the plate to him. 

“Where?” Kuai Liang asks the injured man. 

“W-West,” he manages to say. 

Clutching the emblem in his hand, he shifts his eyes to Tomas. 

“We shall go.”

Without a word, the latter rushes off. You feel a bit shaken, but despite this, you stand. 

“Grandmaster–”

“If you are unwell, then stay and protect Harumi,” Kuai Liang interrupts.

You understand his concerns, but you can not just flee from the cryomancer’s shadow every time it threatens to consume you. 

“I can fight.”

He gives you a nod and with a bow, you rush back to your room to change clothes. With your gear on, you retrieve your mask from the vanity, looking at yourself in the mirror. The sanguine look in your eyes is not something to be proud of.

A short while later, with the brothers in tow, you arrive in the village to the west. The earthy scent of petrichor mixed with death permeates the air. Multiple bodies are strewn across the dirt road, all Shirai Ryu. You find it strange. How is it that there are no Lin Kuei among them?  

A scream echoes through the but before the three of you can move, a pair of Lin Kuei descends from the rooftops of the nearest house. Their appearances are unfamiliar.

“Is that armor?” You hear Tomas ask.

It is. Each of them is decked out in similar armor akin to what Sektor and Cyrax wear, albeit they are dressed in Lin Kuei colors. Why, though? What is Bi-Han thinking? 

Another scream from the far side of the village rings out and Kuai Liang grunts irritably.

“We must aid those in need.”

You agree with a nod.

“I can take these two,” you suggest. 

Tomas looks unsure but Kuai Liang seems to agree. He places a comforting hand on your shoulder. 

“Be on guard.” 

You nod. This should be no problem. You have dealt with the Lin Kuei before. Suits or no suits, it makes no difference. Tomas and Kuai Liang separate, leaving you alone with the two assassins. 

“Two-on-one seems kind of unfair,” you state. 

Neither of them comment. That's fine. You adjust the plates on your mask, then take a deep breath, releasing a sonic scream that should disorient the two. However, it has no effect.

What the hell? 

One of them suddenly teleports behind you and kicks you in the side, knocking you to the ground. It feels as though you have been hit by a truck. And to make matters worse, the assassin struck you right where the brand is. 

Fine. If they want to play rough. 

You stand and take a fighting stance. The assassin lying in wait teleports behind you while the other aims a kick at your chest, but you manage to dodge them by shifting to the side. Grabbing the latter by the plates on their shoulders, you yank them off balance and use their momentum to sweep them off their feet.

Lying on their back, you raise your leg in an attempt to axe-kick them in the face, but the other assassin grabs you around the chest and holds you in place as the one on the ground stands. It lifts its hand and an intense heat sizzles from within. You can feel it on your skin. 

It has a flamethrower. 

You grunt in annoyance and lift your lower body, using your feet to push off the fire-wielding assassin, striking them hard in the face and chest. The one holding you falls back onto the ground from the force, giving you the chance to free yourself and roll into a squat above them. 

Adjusting your mask again, you increase the volume of your voice. Then with a deep breath, you release a sonic scream point-blank into the assassin’s face. The metal vibrates at such a speed that it short-circuits, sending bolts of electricity shooting out. The smell that follows is nauseating. You wave away the plume of smoke that pours from the mask, but you are not given a moment to rest as the fire assassin shoots a jet of flames at you. 

Barely able to escape its range, you roll out of the way and onto your feet. Heat licks at your leg, but you manage to put some distance between you and the assassin, hiding behind a house, before you put out the small flame. 

These suits are no joke. You hope the brothers are faring better than you. It is like they were built to withstand your magic. You are not even certain there is anyone inside the suits. But how else are they moving?

When the flames stop, you dart out from behind the house, but to your shock, the assassin is gone. Before you can search for them, the whir of jet boosters catches your attention, and when you look up, you see a familiar warrior in red armor hovering above you.

“Sektor.”

What is she doing here? 

“This is a sight, running into you like this,” she states. “I should be upset that you managed to demolish one of my suits, but there is always more room for improvement.” 

You turn up your nose as you look at the smoking hunk of metal lying on the ground. So she is the one controlling them. 

“Bi-Han let you make that thing?”

“The Grandmaster has thoughtfully embraced my ideas for the future,” Sektor states. 

You snort.

“I'm sure he rewarded you well too. Tell me, does he like it when you spit or when you swallow?”

Sektor laughs.

“You are just as direct and spirited as ever. It’s too bad he considers you a waste.”

It shouldn’t have but her words make your blood boil. Your defiance must have switched the cryomancer’s opinion of you.  

“Your potential is wasted with Kuai Liang.”

The brand he left on you felt spiteful, a mark of shame.  

“Let's see who is the waste.”

You take a fighting stance but to your irritation, Sektor flies off toward the far end of the village. Where is she going? You tighten your jaw and chase after her. Her defeat will deal a massive blow to the Lin Kuei, should you catch her. 

Chasing her around the side of a nearby house, you do not consider calling for backup. All that is on your mind is beating Sektor within an inch of her life. But as you cross in front of a side alley, something akin to a net shoots out and seizes you, knocking you hard to the ground. 

You groan in pain, arching your back as the rock-littered street bites into your skin. What the hell? You struggle but the neon yellow net will not loosen. 

“Do not fight it. The energy net will only grow tighter,” a feminine voice orders.

You tilt your head to the side to see a familiar figure in a yellow suit approach from the side alley. 

“Cyrax. I should have known,” you sneer. 

She is never far from Sektor. You did not think that in your pursuit of her, she would ambush you. It is irksome.

From above, Sektor flies by and then lands beside her. Both of them ignore your attempts to test the net. 

“Are we done here?” Cyrax asks. 

“I have all the data I need,” Sektor answers. She pauses, then motions with a finger toward you. “All that is left is dealing with our friend here.” 

What is that supposed to mean? 

Cyrax removes a spherical gadget from her chest plate and approaches you. 

“This isn't personal,” she states, sounding as if she is about to put an end to you. 

Leaning down, she yanks off your mask, much to your displeasure, and then presses a button on the side of the gadget. 

So this is it. You sneer at her. 

“Tell Bi-Han he can rot in hell.”

“You can tell him yourself,” Cyrax states.

Before you can figure out what she means, the device beeps and then pops open. From inside, a sweet colorless odor sprays out and consumes you. Instantly your throat tickles, making you break out into a fit of coughs. You attempt to hold your breath but it does no good. Whatever the gas is, its fast-acting properties take effect and everything fades to black.

[tossball-stick]

hey man. if youre complaining about the actors in the borderlands movie being "too old" for the roles. i wanna remind you that in the trailer alone, for a bl1 based movie, hyperion is branded yellow and white instead of red and black, tina is the same age shes supposed to be in 2, krieg has escaped hyperion when jack isnt even supposed to be ruling yet, and fuckin. mouthpiece from bl3 was there. just off the top of my head. i could find more lore inconsistencies if i tried

frankly i think the only issue with the casting is how many of them are zionists and the fact that theyre trying to make roland a comedic character played by kevin hart when hes supposed to be the straight man. like. come on. roland is the only even slightly normal one out of the first games vault hunters (i really dont care that much at the end of the day, thats just my main gripe besides the zionism)

[detectivehole]

How can you tell the ghost chicken PETA poster is AI generated? I'm trying to get better at detecting AI images so I would appreciate any advice you might have thank you!

i actually am not 100% certain about the PETA image specifically. i am 90% sure, enough to claim that i think it is, but i want to be fair here- i could be wrong. im not the only person who caught it, but i could be wrong. that being said! i do actually have tips on how to better identify AI generated images. the tips can differ between artistic images and realistic images, but they do overlap

generative AI struggles in three key areas, imo

details

backgrounds

logic

everyone knows the check fingers and teeth, but as the tech improves, those easy indicators have become less reliable (though it still struggles with those features). AI does still flounder with details, though, you just have to look a little closer. checking patterns, textures, and occasionally lighting has been very helpful. it often fails to convincingly make patterned fabrics, and will create inconsistent or unnatural textures on skin, wood, and any other detailed surface. hair especially is a great indicator, since it falls and moves in very specific ways and has a deep level of texture inherently (watching the hair move in very realistic 3d animation can also help you clock it for what it is)

ie. these knives seem to melt into each other

ai seems to prioritize the subject of any generated image, which does make sense, but this often leads to the backgrounds or additional, non-focal aspects to be particularly nonsensical or imperfect on inspection. i struggle to come up with a examples of what exactly to look for here, but i do have a very helpful question to ask yourself when considering whether something is suspicious; in human made art, every aspect is hand made/posed, and the details of any illustration or photography must inherently be considered, at least a little bit. in AI art, no such consideration is taken, because it is incapable of doing do- ask yourself "would a human being do X detail? why? why not?"

ie. these nonsensical wooden details and the warped perspective of the background wall(s?) stand out to me. often the answer will not be a cut and dry "they would never do this," but noticing busted backgrounds is only part of the investigation

this ties into the first two tips, but i think it's worth reiterating that AI often makes illogical choices for how to interpret prompts. it's a pattern recognition machine, not a thinking machine. you know this, we all know this- just looking for things that don't belong or don't make sense can be the first sign something is up

the ghosts are chickens, but what is this meat? thighs maybe, but they almost look like hearts. they certainly don't look like poultry

some other miscellaneous tips

you've probably noticed, but a lot of AI (not all but a lot) has a distinctive style to it now, as generative models cannibalism each others work

companies that use ai usually have a history/reputation for being cheap or untrustworthy, or otherwise are brand new or small (people who want to save as much money as possible)

when generating people, especially realistic people, not only do they tend to have a horrible case of sameface, but they're also often exclusively "attractive" people. idk why. our bias towards beauty, maybe

none of these tips are perfect because a human being could create an AI-like image if they so choose, or i suppose even by accident, but i find them reliable

hope this helps 👍

[riality-check]

part two of angsty soulmate things, a continuation of this

There's an after.

It's not that Eddie isn't grateful that there is one. He's like most people only in the sense that he would rather be alive than dead. And while being eaten by demonic bats is a very metal way to go, it's slow, and it hurt like hell.

Not worse than cutting the string, but it still hurt.

Eddie isn't ungrateful for the after. He's just confused as to how he got here in the first place, and he's scared because there isn't supposed to be one.

But he doesn't want to think about that. That train of thought makes him nauseous, and he's barely been able to eat anything as it is.

Hospital lights, he thinks instead, are a constant. They're the same everywhere, that bright, sterile white that makes people look sicker in a place that's supposed to make them healthy. In the chair next to his bed, for example, Steve looks like he should be admitted himself.

His skin is paler than Eddie's ever seen it, the bags under his eyes could more aptly be called suitcases, and, most concerningly, his hair is flat.

Steve "the Hair" Harrington's hair looks lifeless. Eddie really screwed this up, didn't he?

He wonders if there's adverse effects to cutting the string. Other than the pain, of course. Long-term stuff is probably a better way to put it.

He tries to remember back when Mama did it, but that was a while ago. Maybe seven years now? His recollection's a bit fuzzy, but he remembers her being almost sick, even after the pain stopped.

Then again, Mama was always sick, one way or another. So even if she's the only example he has, she's probably not the best one.

Steve stares at Eddie with wide, red-rimmed eyes. He really does look like hell.

Eddie opens his mouth to say something, to crack a joke, to do anything to make Steve look a little better, but Steve beats him to the punch.

"What happened?" he croaks.

"I died," Eddie says. It's not a lie. Wayne told him, when he first woke up, that it took three rounds of CPR to get his heart started again.

"Bullshit," Steve says.

"It's not bullshit."

"I know your heart stopped," Steve says. "But you didn't die."

He holds up his hand, and Eddie sees, stark black on his sickly pale skin, the remnants of a string curled around his finger. Black like a brand, like a tattoo, whatever.

It's there, and everyone knows black means death. Permanent death.

(Or, if they're a nutcase or a gullible middle schooler, a dagger. But normal people don't believe in those, so normal people don't ever consider that a possibility.

Hell, even Eddie wouldn't have if he didn't do it himself.)

"What. Happened."

If Eddie weren't in a hospital bed, he'd come up with a better lie. He'd say something about the bats, or the Upside Down, or, hell, he'd blame it on Vecna.

Nancy came in and told him the bastard's dead, so. It's not like he'd be able to counter it.

But Eddie is exhausted, mentally and physically. It's finally setting in, after the first few minutes of being awake, how tired he is, and how much pain he's in.

So, instead of lying, Eddie just says, "I'm sorry."

Steve frowns, confused. "What do you mean you're sorry? Eddie, I just want to know what happened. I'm scared out of my mind because this shouldn't be happening. You're alive. We should still have a string."

Eddie sees, clear as day, how he can use this as an out. He could lie so easily, could blame it on some occurrence within that parallel world. Steve would nod and accept it, not because he's stupid, but because literally anything, so long as it's awful, is possible there.

But Eddie thinks beyond the now very often, though most people are surprised by that. He thinks about how Steve will want to be with him; every time Eddie thought about his soulmate, the string appeared, so Steve was constantly thinking about him. He thinks about them five, ten, twenty years down the line. He thinks about forgetting the lie, about being inconsistent, about Steve pushing and pushing like he seems to do sometimes until Eddie breaks and tells the truth.

No. Finding out then would be so much worse.

Eddie has an out, but he's choosing not to run. Last time, that was a terrible decision, but no one, except for Wayne, really, has ever said that Eddie was smart.

So, he tells the truth.

"I cut it," he says.

Steve continues to stare at him. "What?"

"I cut the string," Eddie says. "With a dagger."

"Those don't exist."

"They do. One showed up for me. I used it to cut the string because I thought I was going to die, and I didn't want you to feel it," Eddie says.

"You're lying," Steve says, voice wavering, face crumpling.

"If I were lying, I'd do it better," Eddie snaps. He's exhausted and doesn't want to fight but he knows that's what's going to happen.

Steve thought about his soulmate constantly. Eddie cut the string.

"Do you know what it felt like?" Steve says.

"Yeah," Eddie says. "It was the worst pain I've ever felt."

Worse than the bats that laid him up in here, worse than the surgeries and the pull of stitches every time he tries to move. Worse worse worse.

"Me too," Steve says, and oh, he's gone quiet. Cold. The tone seeps into Eddie's bones, and he really, really doesn't like where this is going.

"You made me feel the worst pain of my life when we were going against Vecna," Steve says. "It hurt so bad that Robin was ready to drag me out and leave Nancy by herself. You put us all in danger."

"I'm sorry," Eddie says, but he can barely get those three syllables out before Steve keeps going.

"You put us in danger, you put the rest of the Party in danger, and for what?"

"I was trying to protect you."

"It still fucking hurt!" Steve shouts. "It still hurt. You did nothing. You accomplished nothing."

Eddie will not cry here. He won't.

"Steve-"

"Did you know that I thought about you every day?" Steve whispers.

"Yes," Eddie says, because fuck it, why not be honest? He has nothing left to lose.

"Do you know how excited I got when I saw the string? When you thought of me, too?"

"No," Eddie says because he stayed away from Steve Harrington all throughout high school on account of the principles and stereotypes he's realizing weren't true at all.

"I didn't think you would," Steve says. "Because you didn't fucking think, even for a second, about anything besides what? Your own guilt?"

Eddie won't cry. He won't let Steve have the satisfaction of seeing him do it.

It's getting harder, though.

"I thought of you," Eddie says instead.

"First time?" Steve asks mockingly, and before Eddie can say anything to that, he's out the door.

Then, and only then, does Eddie let himself cry.

It hurts.

[geekthefreakout]

So, I've been having this thought.

Crowley, perhaps post-bookshop divorce, is sitting in a pub or a coffee shop and the server calls his name, but they say it wrong.

They pronounce it like with the "ow" sound, like in Supernatural. And Crowley, mildly miffed, is like "where did you get that from?"

And the server is a Supernatural fan and explains that there's a demon named Crowley-like-owl-not-crow who helps stop the apocalypse.

And Crowley is like "imagine that. That's weird. Say more."

And the server explains a bit. How SPN!Crowley is this demon who is aware that should the big fight happen, he won't be counted among the winners regardless of which way it goes, and he just wants the world to keep on as it is, so he joins forces with the Winchesters and their renegade angel to stop it. He becomes King of Hell after to fill the power vacuum (and here GO!Crowley gives a bitter scoff) and he is both a villain and a hero and sometimes neither of those things.

Crowley inquires more about the angel, Castiel, and the server enthusiastically describes him. They remark that Crowley(spn) and Castiel have a fun dynamic, because they hate each other but also have to work together, because they're in love.

Crowley looks dumbfounded, and of course the server can't know why, but they do clarify that they are in love with Dean, not each other. Dean being a stand-in for humanity, of course, which is how the show runners wanted you to see it.

"But then at the end they FINALLY let Cas be all the way gay for Dean. Like, a decade of subtext and queer baiting denial, and FINALLY with 2 episodes left in the whole show, they let Cas tell Dean that he cares about humanity because he cares about Dean. Like, he actually gets to tell him he's in love with him."

A pause.

"Well, and then he gets sucked directly to Turbo Hell, so. That sucked. It went canon in THE most homophobic way possible, which is kind of on brand for the show--"

"Turbo hell?????? What is that, the tenth circle?"

"Oh, the place that angels and demons go when they die. The Empty. They don't get an afterlife, they just sleep forever and dream about the bad stuff. It's pretty awful, but Cas gets rescued from their off screen by the end so at least that's something-"

"What about the demon?"

"Oh, Crowley-like-owl? He got killed off for good at the end of season 12."

Crowley-like-crow stares through his sunglasses and the server elaborates again. For some reason, they haven't been called to other tables for anything the entire time they've been speaking.

"It was a good death, I think. He died to save the boys and trap Lucifer in another dimension- it's complicated. But he got to say that he actually hated being King of Hell, and he hated Lucifer, and he got to go out on a good deed. I think the actor was tired of the writers playing around with the character's arc. Walking back development, never committing to what they wanted to do with him... And that led to Crowley being kinda inconsistent and underappreciated. So he asked to be killed off and he walked away from the show."

"Huh. Shame, that."

"Yeah, everyone missed him. There are some characters that I REALLY wish he'd gotten to meet. And I also wish that he got a little more love."

"He was a demon. Love's not exactly in their repertoire."

"It's not supposed to be. It was, though. Cas practically invented free will because he loved Dean. And I guess Crowley also didn't fit into the mold God had set for him, either."

"I suppose God's Plan is... Ineffable in the show."

"I mean. Kinda at first? But the last season God is fully the bad guy."

"WHAT??"

Anyway, Crowley watches Supernatural and has no idea if he hates it or not. He probably does. But somehow, Crowley-like-owl and Castiel and their often unappreciative charges make his heart ache. He deliberately notes all the ways that Castiel is nothing like Aziraphale, thank you very much. He supposes he's glad that Adam never turned either of them into action figures.

He watches and he tries not to wish Aziraphale was watching with him.

[sarcasticsra]

PSA: if you wear a bra

You're probably wearing the wrong size. Most people are.

This is a screenshot of the bra company Pepper's size guide. Let's take a look at this, shall we?

Hmm, a 25-26" underbust and a 29-30" bust... sized as a 30A.

No. This is not how bra-sizing works. The band ought to match or be fairly close to the underbust measurement. It HAS to be, to provide any support and to be comfortable. Because, yes, bras can be quite comfortable! In the correct size. A band that is too big is going to ride up and shift and rub and move and be awful. A cup that is too small is going to squeeze your tissue into the band, making it feel tighter, and painful, because now your band is pressed into breast tissue.

Bra sizes are a ratio. The letter by itself is meaningless. There is no such thing as "an A cup" or "a D cup." Both A and D cups look vastly different on different bands. "Size DD+" as a bra size category is similar to a shoe store with a "size 6+" category, except worse, because shoe size really is generally only determined by one number. "DD+" being all the information you're going on to determine a bra size would be like answering the question, "How far away is that?" with, "Five." Minutes? Hours? Miles? Blocks? There's a whole range of things that could mean!

The letters correspond (roughly--people don't come in 2-inch increments) to inches of difference between the under and over bust measurement. So going back to our supposed "30A" up there... let's assume a 26" underbust and a 30" bust. 30 is 4 more inches than 26.

A: 1 inch, B: 2 inches, C: 3 inches, D: 4 inches.

Yes, that's correct. That person Pepper is trying to shove into a 30A should be wearing a 26D. A 30A bra would be for someone with a rough underbust measurement of 30 inches and a rough bust measurement of 31 inches. 1 inch difference. Whereas the 26D is for 26 under, 30 over. Notice how the 26D is actually a SMALLER total circumference than the 30A? Cup size scales with band size.

The reason this company pisses me off in particular is because if they wanted to be a niche "smaller boobs" bra company, there is a HUGE untapped market in people who need sub-32 bands. A few carry 30s and 28s but good luck if you need a 26 or 24. And they could help more people get into PROPERLY fitted bras, instead of tossing them into matrix sizes and pretending they're special.

I saw this on their website: "The industry designs for 36C. We design for AA, A, and B."

YOU CANNOT DESIGN FOR CUP SIZE INDEPENDENT OF BAND SIZE.

Also, the industry designs for fucking no one. The industry calls "A cups" small and "D cups" large, tosses out 32-40 in bands and A-DD in cup sizes and calls it good.

DD is five inches of difference between under bust and bust. 5 inches on a person with a 30-inch underbust is going to look MUCH different than 5 inches on a person with a 38-inch underbust. A circle with a total circumference of 43 inches is MUCH larger than a circle with a total circumference of 35 inches.

If you wear bras, and you want to make your life infinitely better, I beg, plead, urge you to go to abrathatfits.org and do the calculator. (Particularly if you've always been sized as an A or B cup, because those are actually very rare true sizes on any band.) The calculator actually takes into account 6 measurements, because for some people a leaning bust measurement is more important than a standing one. Believe the calculator. It will almost certainly give you a band size smaller than you expect and a cup size much larger than you expect. It's not perfect, so it's a good idea to try a cup larger and smaller, too, but it's generally very close. Try different sizes in the same bra--and NOT a t-shirt bra or any bra with molded/formed cups. almost no one properly fits those. Look for an unlined, seamed bra. Go by UK sizing, and stick to the UK brands. (Bare Necessities carries a bunch of them.) US bras are horribly inconsistent, especially in larger cup sizes. UK brands also generally have a far larger size range.

Any time you try on a bra, be sure to "scoop and swoop" to ensure ALL of the breast tissue fits into the cup. A big issue with ill-fitting bras is breast tissue that migrated to the armpit. You ever notice a little bulge on the side at the top of the band under your arm? There's a good chance that's actually displaced breast tissue.

Also check out The Irish Bra Lady on Instagram. She has tons of posts showing what properly fitted bras look like, in a wide range of sizes. If you're really in doubt about the size the calculator gives you, check her account first, she probably has a picture of someone in that size or close. It's helpful sometimes to see what it actually looks like.

Unfortunately, size is only one aspect of a well-fitting bra. Shape is equally important. Some bras have taller cups, some have shorter, which work better for different root sizes. There's fullness, is it mostly on the top or bottom? Even? Horizontally? Close set, wide set? Projected, shallow?

Go through all the resources at the abrathatfits subreddit. They have tons and tons of information to help determine your shape, what bras might work best for you, and the commenters are incredibly helpful if you need to make a post to ask a question.

I'm not going to lie, it took me probably 6-9 months to find a bra that fits? I have to buy mine from Poland. It was a bit of an ordeal.

But now? Now, I think about my bra exactly twice per day: once when I put it on in the morning and once when I take it off in the evening. I don't notice it. It doesn't shift. It doesn't poke. My straps aren't cutting into my shoulders or falling off them. I'm not constantly "reseating" my boobs. It turns out they stay put just fine if you give them a seat they actually fit into.

Finding a well-fitting bra is up there with medication and regular exercise in terms of its contribution to my quality of life. It's confusing, and there's a LOT, but it is SO fucking worth it.

You know that TIkTok trend question that's all, "if you HAD to start talking about one topic for 30+ minutes straight, what would you talk about?"

Yeah.

I will spend the rest of my life shouting all of this from the rooftops. Bras can be comfortable! It's actually true!

[bladesmitten]

Not sure if anyone has mentioned this re: the Wyll feedback post but I imagine the main issue with using his old EA dialogue assets is that the majority of them are from when they still had Wyll's old VA who couldn't come back for the rework. So it's not like they could just pull it out and plop it back in like they could with someone like...Karlach who was also completed late in EA, but was always Samantha Beart.

Yeah the existing script might work, but actually adding it back to the game it would still involve Theo having to come in and record the majority of them as the Wyll we now know. And assuming he's not going to perfectly mimic the original reading just in his voice, the devs would need to adjust the animations so they fit Theo's reading of it. And imo, at that point you might as well just make new dialogue/animations to best suit his current form rather than trying to build off of what's leftover from before.

I think it's a matter of - "this should've been done in the first place" - considering we have stuff like the Wyll/Lae'zel flirt banter that was also in Early Access. Theo Solomon re-recorded those lines for full release, only for Larian to remove it later. (Presumably because it doesn't fit his current romance route, but I digress.)

A lot of his EA dialogue still carried over to release, which means lines were deliberately picked to be re-recorded. However, this work seems inconsistent because we still have aspects of EA Wyll that are in release.

A glaring example of this is Wyll approving of Sazza getting executed. This was left over from when he still had a grudge on goblins in Early Access; now, he doesn't. Why would current Wyll approve of a defenseless prisoner getting killed?

My point with taking lines from EA Wyll for current Wyll is that there are lines that still fit him. Current Wyll has funny lines - but those lines are locked behind specific trigger conditions that aren't always easily encountered. Like his line: "It's like I always sometimes say..." - that line is only triggered if 1) the ogres in Act 1 are dead, 2) the player has Lump's War Horn, 3) Wyll specifically tries to blow the horn (which would be unlikely unless the player is doing a Wyll origin, or they had companion Wyll do it - more likely, it's a Tav/Durge doing this action.)

EA Wyll, on the other hand, had his funny lines in his regular dialogue ("spill the whole jug", "there's a saying I just made up"). In this case, are the funny lines that current Wyll have supposed to be there? If they are, why did they remove his other funny lines from Early Access, especially if it still fits his current character?

More to the point, are there still lines from current Wyll that aren't supposed to be there? How much effort was actually put into rewriting his character if there's still stuff from Early Access that don't fit him now (ie, the Sazza approval)?

In the end, I agree that we're probably better off to have brand new written stuff for Wyll, but I can't ignore the sloppy work that was done in rewriting him if he still has apparently leftover dialogue from EA that may be in danger of getting removed. And if they can't even do this properly, it doesn't bode well for any new content for Wyll.

As an aside: I think Karlach's VA wasn't always Samantha Beart, at least in the first few versions of it. She also did not look the same way she does now.

[kineticpenguin]

I keep seeing really bad takes back and forth over what leads young boys to fascist grifters like Andrew Tate, and the first thing I wanna point out is that it's a subjective problem. "Were you a mentally ill loner made worse, or were you normal before the daily dose of blackpills made you a mentally ill loner" is very much a chicken-and-egg problem.

But I think it's worth remembering that it's not a remotely fringe opinion that if you're a dude and you're not happy with how your life is going, you need to "man up," and people who feel unmanly are going to seek answers for how they can do that. Or failing that, why they've failed to do so and whether it's their fault, or someone else's.

Now, what that means is also pretty subjective and usually is wildly inconsistent in message even from the people building their brand around "this is how to be a man." So it can mean anything from "life isn't fair, grow up" to "if you don't have what you want, you must seize it." Hell, Jordan Peterson owes his fame to just kinda blathering random nonsense anywhere in that spectrum, his only consistent thought being misogyny.

But if you pry open the facade, the basic idea of patriarchy is that it is good to be a Man: mature, strong, attractive. It's why fascists are obsessed with the debunked pack hierarchy: the most mature, strongest, most attractive men are Alphas (or sigmas or whatever these days), those falling short are Betas or even lesser. But crucially, this isn't unique to fascists. It is a fundamental notion of our patriarchal society that to be a Man is good, to be more of a Man is even better. The US Army's recruiting slogan used to be, be all that you can be. Fascists are more direct though. Take Rhodesia for example: be a man among men.

In short, within a patriarchal society, you can easily recruit boys to your cause if you can convince them that you will make a Man out of them, because boys are supposed to become Men, and boys yearn for that legitimacy. It's how things are Supposed to Be: once you're a Man, everything in life falls into place for you. You are a full person. Legitimate. Anyone trying to dissuade you from that is telling you to be weak. Less than a man.

And so all this discourse about state-issued girlfriends and whether leftists are nice enough to boys is like arguing over the number of angels that can dance on the head of a pin. I think the real hard question is: how do you successfully offer an alternative to someone who has been indoctrinated into this expectation from birth?

[foodfightnovelization]

Errors And Inconsistencies

Hey everyone, this is just a short post I'm making to address a few mistakes I've made over the course of writing this blog. That's right, despite how much time I've dedicated to Foodfight! my knowledge of it still isn't perfect, and I got a couple things wrong. I'll start with the more minor of my errors- in many of my posts, I've stated that my copy of the novelization is the only one in existence. While this is true in a roundabout sense, recently someone who worked on the movie explained things in a little more detail. To put a long story short, the novelization WAS published...in a very limited print run, intended to gauge interest for a wider release. However since the actual movie it was supposed to tie into was nowhere completion at the time, the audience it was intended for literally didn't exist yet and so it failed, never to be given a second chance.

All this time I thought the copy I had really was the only one ever produced, like it'd been commissioned by Kasanoff specifically to impress investors or show off at a book fair or something. But no, it did have something of an actual release, just in very small quantities. However even that short print run didn't sell well, meaning there are likely barely any copies in circulation due to nobody actually buying it back when it was out. So for all intents and purposes my copy of the novelization IS still, as far as we know, the only one LEFT in existence- but there could be others out there, it's possible. So if for some reason you wanted to add this book to your collection, don't give up hope just yet! Another copy might show up someday, who knows? I sure don't! However, it's incredibly satisfying to finally get the scoop on just what the deal was with the novelization- it's something I'd been curious about ever since I started this blog, and now we finally have answers. So if you ever find another copy of the novelization at a thrift store or eBay or anything, please let me know!

But now onto much more important matters. If you've been following this blog for a while, you may have seen my post titled "Every Real-World Brand Mascot In The Movie". In this, I claim to have gone through the film with a fine-toothed comb and made note of every single character based on a real-life grocery product. However, I guess my comb wasn't fine-toothed enough (whatever that means) because it turns out I actually missed one. This blue knight is the mascot for Armour Star, a brand of canned sausage and various other meat products. Now, in my defense, Armour Star doesn't actually HAVE a mascot in real life- it seems as though this character was created specifically for Foodfight! and has never represented the company or their products before or since. On top of that he isn't named in the credits, even though most of the other brand-name products are, making his presence even easier to miss. Hungry Man doesn't have a mascot in real life either though, and yet I still managed to spot the one they created for Foodfight! while watching it, so really I have no excuse.

Honestly, the only reason I noticed him at all was because I was watching the movie in 1080p (yeah, high-def!) and realized the telescope Dex uses around 53 minutes into the movie was cobbled together from cans with some kind of product logo on them. I took a closer look and realized they said "Armour Star", put two and two together and realized the background character with a star on his head and the word "Armour" on his chest was likely this brand's mascot. But I mean, I'd never even HEARD of Armour Star until I spotted, this... had anyone else? I feel like they can't be particularly well known, as in the 12 years this movie's been out not a single person has made the connection until now. However, as resident Foodfight! blogger, I take it upon myself to be as accurate and truthful as possible when writing these posts, and by failing to notice the Armour Star mascot I ended up unintentionally spreading lies to the community. Let it be known, there's a fictitious mascot for an obscure real-life brand of canned meat in a slightly less obscure 3D animated children's movie about grocery products fighting Nazis in a thinly-veiled parody of Casablanca! Let the world know about the Armour Star can man! And to those readers who bore witness to my initial post where I claimed there were 18 real-world brand mascots in the movie, I was wrong and I apologize for misinforming you. There are actually 19. I forgot about the Armour Star can man, and I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me for such an egregious transgression.

I'm just joking around by the way, it's obviously not all that serious... but I really didn't notice the Armour Star mascot before, that part was true. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this educational correction of accidental misinformation, and stay tuned as there's still more to come from this blog! I know I teased some fascinating Foodfight! news recently, but unfortunately it's still not at the point where I'm allowed to talk about it. However, fingers crossed I'll be able to in the coming weeks, as it's a HUGE deal and I can't wait for everyone to be able to see it! I tell you, the excitement really never ends when you're a Foodfight! fan...