#but I’m going to my early modern lit class LOL

[theloveinc]

I can’t believe I forgot about early modern romance Bakugo

[silverarmedassassin]

Come Back to Me // Part Two

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 2084

Warnings: Mentions of a car accident, traumatic brain injury, and memory loss. this is going to be pretty angst heavy throughout.

A/N: Feeling a little meh about this part. It’s too early in this process to be hitting writer’s block, lol. I’ll blame the current state of life and my decreasing motivation to do anything. 

Thanks for reading! Feedback is welcome :)

Come Back to Me Masterlist // Masterlist

Slowly but surely, the wires and tubes start disappearing. By your fifth day awake in the Compound, all but the heart monitor and a few electrodes are carted away from your room. Dr. Banner reassures you daily that you’re making “great progress,” and that, hopefully, your memory will return to normal soon. You’re still not sure what that means.

You sigh as you look towards the holoscreen Dr. Banner had installed in your room to occupy your time. You had access to thousands of T.V. channels from across the world and a seemingly endless supply of movies to watch, but you never took advantage. Instead, you kept a live feed of the Compound grounds on. Tony Stark had had a few of the security cameras’ feeds rerouted so you could have some kind of window to the outside world.

Between your bouts of unconsciousness and mindlessly watching the outside, members of the Avengers would trickle in from time-to-time. You’d met almost everyone on the team, even members you’d never knew existed. But, while you enjoyed getting to meet and know each of them, you’d found comfort in just a few.

Steve, of course, was at the top of your list. The super-solider had made a habit of visiting you daily, usually multiple times a day. He’d bring a meal and a deck of cards and spend hours telling you stories. He talked about everything - life growing up, his experience in the war. He talked about it all, but he would always tread lightly when the Soldier, Bucky you would remind yourself, was brought up.

You hadn’t seen Bucky since that first day, at least not fully. When Steve would stop by, you’d often catch a glimpse of the man just outside your door. You’d sometimes hear him talking with Banner after the doctor came to check on you, but Bucky never made it in the room. And for that, you were grateful.

The others didn’t mention him much, only Sam on occasion. But it was usually in an off-hand, humorous kind of way. That made you like Sam. Unlike Steve, he didn’t talk about Bucky like he placed the sun in the sky. You understood Steve’s fondness, remembered that they were childhood friends despite it all, but it still left a bad taste in your mouth. With Sam, though, it was jokes and conversations about learning to cope with this new, unfamiliar life you’d woken up in.

“Knock knock,” a voice sing songs from the doorway, drawing you from your thoughts. You look over to find Wanda with a large container of take-out in her hands. You can’t help the smile that spreads across your face.

Wanda had quickly become another comfort during your time. She was caring, witty, and overall a great person to talk with. Aside from Steve, she spent the most time down with you. When it was announced you were awake and able to see visitors, she promptly brought you down a pair of pajamas and a decent stack of clothing so you wouldn’t have to lie around in the uncomfortable hospital gown.

“I figured you might be hungry, so I brought you a little something,” Wanda says as she moves to sit in the chair next to your bed. “How are you feeling today?”

You smile weakly. “Tired. My head kind of hurts, but I’m okay.” You shrug and take the container from Wanda’s outstretched hands. “You haven’t seen Steve, have you? He usually stops in by now.”

“The team got called out this morning. A few others and I stayed behind to man the Compound and take care of you,” Wanda smiles and winks. She knew how much you hated being doted on.

You and Wanda sit and eat lunch together. She’s in the middle of a story about her brother when there’s a soft knock on the door. When you turn, you find Dr. Banner’s smiling face peeking in through the crack.

“You’re awake,” he exclaims as he shuffles in, holopad in hand. “I’m glad. I have some news for you.”

Bruce brings over the roller chair, the only normal, doctor-like piece of furniture to be found in the high-tech room, and sits. “I’m pleased with the amount of progress you’ve been making. Brain activity is back in the normal range, your ribs are healing nicely, and your vitals have been steady. To the point where I feel comfortable releasing you from the medical wing.”

You perk up then, looking from Bruce to Wanda with a wide smile on your face. “I can go home?”

It’s not that you didn’t enjoy being at the Compound. The food was great, the company was even better, and, despite it all, you felt more relaxed than you had in years. But you were starting to get stir-crazy. You missed the routine of day-to-day life.

“Well, not exactly,” Bruce takes his glasses off and slips them on top of his head. “While I’m comfortable with you not being monitored twenty-four-seven, I would like to keep an eye on you, just until your memories return.”

“If they return,” you grumble.

“But,” Bruce ignores your offhand comment, “I’ve already talked with Tony about you staying, and he set up a room for you. It’s far more comfortable than this sterile place, and you’ll have an actual window to look out instead of a screen.”

“It’s right by mine and Steve’s,” Wanda says reassuringly as a grimace settles on your face.

“That’s nice and all,” you say, “but what about my life? Rent? My classes? I can’t just abandon everything.”

The duo shares a look before Bruce speaks. “You’re...you graduated two years ago. You don’t remember that?”

“Of course I don’t remember!” you shout. “I don’t remember anything. And it turns out I don’t even remember myself.”

You bury your face in your hands before they can see the tears in your eyes. It wasn’t right to shout, but you’re so frustrated and upset about the situation that it just happened. All you wanted was to go back to the city, see your friends, and return to normal life - whatever that looked like for you now.

Graduated? Two years ago? Exactly how much were you missing?

>>>

Dr. Banner was right, the room they set up for you was much nicer than where you were staying prior.

After your mini-meltdown, Bruce and Wanda explained that your expenses would be taken care of back home and that they’ve already been in touch with your boss. Apparently, he’d been very understanding of the situation. Wanda then wheeled you through the seemingly endless halls of the Compound pointing out various offices, rooms, and common areas before getting to your room.

It was definitely better than the medical ward room, twice the size even. Despite the ultra-modern design, it felt homey. Wanda informed you Steve and Sam had gone to your apartment in the city to grab some of your personal belongings so you didn’t feel so out-of-place.

It was nice seeing your favorite blanket draped across the bed and a stack of books on the nightstand. You can’t help but wonder if you’ve already read them or not. Wanda doesn’t leave you much time to think about that, though, as she is intent on showing you around your spacious living space.

The bathroom looked like it belonged in a space station and, if it weren’t for Wanda showing you, you probably would never have figured out the shower. She even showed you the closet, which was stocked, allegedly, with your own items.

“Why are you all being so nice to me?” you ask as you try and make yourself comfortable on the edge of the bed. “You don’t even know me.”

Wanda smiled sadly before coming over to sit next to you. “Oh, Y/N.” She wraps you up in a hug and doesn’t offer a proper explanation. “Why don’t you get some rest and we’ll talk more later?”

As she makes her way from the room, you realize how tired you’re actually feeling. Maybe a little nap wouldn’t hurt.

>>>

It’s not until several hours later that you wake up. By how dark it is in your room, you can tell it’s well into the night. Your mouth is bone dry, and you contemplate if it’s worth getting up to get something to drink when your stomach growls. That settles it.

As you carefully slide out of bed, you check the illuminated alarm clock that’s set on the bedside table. 2:15 a.m. When Wanda showed you around earlier, you didn’t see any of the other Avengers, so you assumed it was only Wanda, Bruce, and you at the Compound. Hopefully, you think, neither is still awake.

You decide to forego the wheelchair that Bruce had insisted you use when you came up to the room. The kitchen wasn’t too far, after all. You make your way down the dimly lit hall as quietly as you can. You don’t hear anyone else or see any lights on, so you figure you’re the only one awake.

Your stomach rumbles again as you get to the kitchen. Wanda hadn’t actually shown you where anything was, so you rummage through the cabinets before finding a few cans of soup. You grab a few to get a better look at your options.

“You’re up late,” a deep voice says from behind you.

You jump and drop one of the cans of soup onto the floor, startled from the unexpected guest. You turn to find Bucky standing on the other side of the kitchen island, watching you intently. He only breaks eye contact when he bends to pick up the can of soup that rolled across the kitchen.

“Wa-Wanda said I could help myself,” you say as he makes a face at the soup. “If it’s yours I’ll replace it, I promise.”

“No, it’s fine,” Bucky laughs, setting the can on the island. “But this stuff is awful. Wanda made spaghetti for dinner, have some of that.” Your eyes never leave him as he walks over to the fridge and pulls out a large bowl before also setting it on the counter and sliding it over to you.

“Thanks,” you say quietly as you peel back the cling wrap and place it in the microwave behind you. You close your eyes and take a deep breath to try and calm yourself. You felt uneasy having your back to Bucky, but it felt safer than having a staring match with the assassin. Ex-assassin, you remind yourself.

“Wanda wanted to wake you up for dinner, but I told her not to. Figured you needed the rest,” Bucky says. You turn slightly to look at him and offer a small, forced smile. You just wanted him to go away. When he starts rummaging around for a bowl and cereal, you realize he’s probably not going anywhere anytime soon.

“When did you guys get back?” you ask quietly as you turn back to the microwave.

“What? Oh, no I sat this one out. But the team isn’t back yet, part of the reason I’m up.”

To distract from the looming figure across the room and the knot in your stomach, you start going through the many draws looking for a fork. Bucky must catch on because, a few moments later, a fork is being slid across the sleek counter in the same manner as the bowl of spaghetti had been.

“Top drawer next to the fridge,” he says. You can hear the smile in his voice.

The fact Bucky was being so nice, so generous was confusing to you. When you looked at or thought of him, all you could see was the silver-armed assassin who literally destroyed an entire block of D.C. and nearly killed his best friend. Making sure you were rested and fed was the last thing you’d ever imagined from him.

With the microwave beeping, you quickly grab the fork and bowl without letting it cool. You’d had no intention of eating in your room but staying out in the kitchen with Bucky was too uncomfortable. You thank him again and quickly shuffle back towards the hall your room is in.

“Hey Y/N?” Bucky calls from where he’s seated at the island. You stop and wait for him to continue. “I’m glad you’re okay. Really.”

You don’t turn, only nod and continue down the hall. You try to ignore the churning in your stomach as you do so.

>>>

Tags: @tricksterwinchester​ @themarveledwriter​ @numwoon44​ @wonderlandmind4​ @basicjetsetter​ @igothroughphasesalot​

[winterromanov]

For the prompt could you do, aCollege! Bucky where the reader is nervous about one of their finals and Bucky trys to calm them down

part of will we talk? anthology

“I can’t do this.”

These are the first words you’ve spoken in about four hours, hunched over your desk in your dorm, brightly coloured flashcards swarming your vision like shitty Target confetti. From behind you, Bucky mumbles softly--he’d drifted off on your bed while you were studying. Wouldn’t go home, bless him.

His finals had finished this morning. He deserved to be out celebrating with Steve and Sam and the rest of the football team but instead here he is. With you. It wasn’t worth celebrating until you could too, apparently, to Sam’s dismay. There was a keg of cut-price beer waiting to be drunk in their kitchen.

“Do what?” he says, and you can hear him shift, arms stretching. The clock on your phone reads one fifty-three and your exam is at eight thirty. There’s not enough time.

“This.” You groan emphatically, gesturing towards your notes. No amount of fancy fineliners and neon post-its are making anything about fucking Shakespeare stay in your god damn head. The shades blur and blend like a lit class kaleidoscope. 

You feel him crawl across the bed sheets behind you, hands instinctively reaching out to curl round your shoulders. You know how tense you feel, but he doesn’t mention it, pressing a soft kiss to the back of your head.

“Of course you can. Smartest person I know, you are.”

“I’m not. Oh my God. I’m so going to fail.” Maybe it’s stress, or sleep deprivation, or a combination of the two, but you feel the tears wetting your cheeks before you even realise you’re crying.

“Hey now. Stop that. Babe.” He grabs the stem of your chair, spinning it so you have no choice to face him. He looks so soft and sleepy and kind. “I passed Early Modern British History because of you. Anyone who can help me get a fucking A in that paper can do anything. I’m serious.”

His face is stern for a second or two, then he sticks his tongue out--he’s trying to get you to giggle and it works because of course it does. He makes you laugh more than anyone you’ve ever met.

“Stop making me laugh!” you half chuckle, half sob, covering your face with your hands. “I’ve got a final in a few hours. You can’t make me laugh.”

“Anything is better than watching you cry, baby.” He reaches out for your fingers, pulling them away, big ocean blue eyes staring straight at you. “Now put those damn fineliners away and come to bed. Please. Shakespeare will still be there in the morning.”

“Unfortunately.”

“Yes, unfortunately. Fucking guy can’t stay out of a single syllabus for one second.” He reaches behind him, throwing you one of his t shirts. It’s dark red and faded from the amount of times you’ve washed it, hoping that the smell of him will always somehow cling into it. “Bed. Now.”

“Okay. Fine. Okay.” He helps you strip off your sweater. Undoes your jeans and pulls them off while you unclip your bra, pulling the t shirt over your head. The tears are already beginning to be forgotten.

It’s just a final. It’s just a final, and this time tomorrow it will be over, and Bucky will still be there. Bucky will always still be there.

“Tomorrow I’ll take you to dinner, then we’ll go wherever you want and drink that champagne my mom bought us for our anniversary.” He says into the quiet, pulling you close in the bed. His hands are warm underneath your t shirt. “And we can go throw that fucking Shakespeare anthology in the trash. Or burn it. Whatever you prefer.”

You laugh, finding his fingers underneath the duvet. He squeezes tightly. “You bring the matches, yeah?”

“Absolutely, my dear.”

-

The next morning Bucky is fast asleep as you unfurl from his embrace, nerves jangling and teeth jittery. You kiss his cheek gently before you leave and he moves, just a little, underneath your touch.

In the exam hall a bright orange post-it note falls out your pencil case that you don’t remember putting there.

Doubt that the stars are fire, doubt that the sun doth move his aides, doubt truth to be a liar, but never doubt I love. - Hamlet, Act Two, Scene Two. You can have that one on me, darl.

send me a prompt here

(also i haven’t updated in such a long time that i cannot remember the masterlist so i’ll make a new one - send an ask to be added and i’ll actually make a list lol)

[not-close-to-straight]

Summer Nights (One) (Stony Grease AU)

A commission for @simplynerdy-gal who wanted a Stony twist on Grease!

Note: This doesn’t take place in the 50′s like the movies, but definitely not modern day either. Let’s settle on that magically vague period of late eighties to early nineties when no one had cell phones but everyone had terrible fashion and sprinkle in a few modern day things for the lol factor. 

Also, I don’t follow the movie line for line/scene for scene but rather tried to reference our favorite scenes for nostalgia reasons.

SUMMER NIGHTS MASTERLIST HERE

Enjoy! 

*************

The sunset was gorgeous, filling the clouds with first orange and yellow, and then pink and purples that darkened to a stormy blue as they touched the ocean. The waves crashed loud against the rocks, the sea gulls called as they circled on the evening wind and hidden away on a soft, sandy part of the beach, a summer romance was coming to a close.

 “I’m going back to New York tomorrow.” Steve eased away from a long kiss and sighed. “How am I supposed to say goodbye to you, Tony? This has been the best summer of my life and now it’s ending. It’s not fair. None of this is fair.”

“Don’t talk like that, sweetheart.” Tony leaned in again and coaxed another kiss from Steve’s lips. “Nothin’s gotta end yet, c’mere and let me show you.” 

“Tony.” Steve was helpless against the brunette’s charm, and when their kiss grew heated, he let Tony lay him back into the warm sand, shivering when Tony’s fingers crept under the hem of his swim shorts. “This-- this won’t spoil anything will it?” 

“How could it spoil anything?” Tony flattened his palm to Steve’s stomach and smiled as the blond shuddered beneath the touch. “Just gonna make it better, right? We’ve been in love all summer Steve, ain’t like we’re rushing into this.” 

“I know, I know we aren’t, and I guess I’m ready but--” Steve’s beautifully blue eyes filled with tears and Tony sat up in a hurry, whispering something soft and reassuring as he wiped them away. “This is so stupid, I shouldn’t be crying but Tony, is this the end? Is this the end of us?” 

“Of course not.” Tony was lying and they both knew it, but Steve didn’t argue when Tony pulled him up into a hug and held him close. “Course not, honey. This is only the beginning.” Tony swallowed back his own tears and pressed a kiss to Steve’s blond hair. “M’gonna love you forever, sweetheart. Nothin’s ever gonna be better than this summer with you.” 

“Will you--” Steve clutched at Tony’s side and drew in a deep breath. “Will you call me? Or can I call you? I know summer romances are supposed to end in the fall but I don’t think I’m ready to say goodbye.”

“Oh my god, of course I’m going to call you.” Tony comforted him. “Long distance calls are real expensive, but I’ll get a part time job so I can pay for it. We’ll talk every week and maybe at Christmas you can come see me again or I can come see you or something. We’ll figure it out.” 

“Are you sure?” The words were muffled in Tony’s shirt. “Cos Tony this isn’t-- this isn’t me, you know? I don’t do this sort of thing.” 

“What sort of thing?” Tony combed Steve’s hair back out of his eyes and dotted a kiss to his nose. “What don’t you do?” 

“Kiss strange boys on the beach.” Steve blushed bright red and Tony nearly melted. “Getting adventurous for me usually means not studying before a test, or wearing mismatched socks, not talking to random guys and staying out past my curfew to hang out on the docks and that sort of thing. I’ve never wanted to do this with anyone but you.” 

“I’ve never wanted to do this with anyone but you either.” Tony admitted, his voice hoarse and eyes uncertain. “Steve you make me um-- you make me wanna be different, you know? I’m gonna call you after you leave and I’m gonna do everything I can to see you again and um--” 

He stopped, biting at his lip and Steve whispered, “Tony?” 

“I love you.” Tony framed Steve’s face with both hands and crushed a kiss to his mouth. “Steve, I love you and nothing is ever gonna be better than this summer with you. Nothing could ever be as great as spending a day with you.” 

“‘Cept maybe the summer nights?” Steve fell back onto the sand and dragged Tony with him, wrapping both arms around Tony’s shoulders and kissing him back as hard as he could. “The summer nights with you are pretty amazing.” 

“The summer nights are pretty amazing.” Tony agreed, and in a near inaudible tone, “Tell me you love me, Steve.” 

“I love you.” There were tears again but neither Tony nor Steve were sure who was crying. “I’m never going to forget you.” 

“I’m never going to forget you either.” 

*************

*************

Bucky “Bronco” Barnes hated everything about school. He hated the teachers and the way class started so got-dang early in the morning. He hated how the rooms smelled and that he couldn’t have a smoke in the hall and had to go all the way outside for it. Ugh the homework and ick the pep rallies. 

In fact the only thing that made school worth it were all the pretty people, and as Bucky popped the collar on his leather jacket, lit up his first cigarette of the morning and checked out the talent walking up the way, he grinned to himself. 

Gonna be a good year. 

And then from across the parking lot came an all too familiar yell and Bucky’s cool guy persona slipped just a little when he caught sight of Valkyrie, Sam and Clint all running his way. 

“Bucky!” Clint whooped out loud and launched himself over the carefully trimmed hedges in an attempt to beat Valkyrie to Bucky’s side. He caught his foot on the top branches though and bowled right into the girl, and Valkyrie screamed, taking Sam down to the ground as well as she flailed around for a handhold.

“Damn it!” Sam cried at the same time Valkyrie yelled, “My lunch got squished!” and Clint just barrel rolled out of his sprawl and popped to his feet, the leaves in his hair doing absolutely nothing to distract from how big his grin was for Bucky. 

“Whaddup Bronco!” He held up his hand for a high five and Bucky rolled his eyes and punched the goofy kid right in the thigh. “Ouch! My leg! I’m wounded!” 

Sam shoved a hopping Clint out of the way and socked Bucky in the shoulder. “Bronco! Where you been all summer! We didn’t see you at the arcade or nothing!”

“Had better things to do than hang out with you kids all day.” Bucky made a show of fixing his jacket collar again, smoothing back his already slick hair. “Been haulin’ boxes at the docks to save up money for a car. Whad’ya’think about that?”

“I think it’ll have to be a pretty sweet set of wheels to get the girls to look at you twice.” Valkyrie snorted and Bucky flicked her ear in annoyance. “M’just sayin, you aren’t exactly the best looking outta the group!”

“Speaking of the best looking, where’s Tony, you seen Tony yet?” Clint piped up. “Where’s that boy at?” 

Bucky scowled over the idea that Tony was better looking than him, but he twisted around looking for his best friend anyway, scanning the growing crowd of students for that signature black leather jacket. He hadn’t seen Tony all summer and when he’d called last week to ask after him, Mrs. Stark had said he was out walking the beach which... didn’t seem right at all. Tony didn’t do beaches and he certainly didn’t do long, solo walks as the sunset, so Bucky had figured Tony had lied and snuck off with someone pretty for the night, and promised to call back later. 

Work had gotten busy and Bucky had never called back, so now he grinned when he finally caught sight of Tony, put two fingers to his mouth and whistled sharply, waving impatiently when Tony seemed to hesitate before turning their direction. 

“Tony!” Valkyrie all but tackled the other brunette and Tony oophed under her weight, laughing a little as he shoved her off, only to be taken out by Clint and Sam as well. 

Bucky thought maybe Tony wasn’t laughing at all that time, and his blue eyes narrowed when Tony even back up a few steps from the group, dusting off his jacket and smoothing his hair before shoving his hands in his pockets. 

“How’s it goin’, bud?” Bucky waited a few seconds for Tony to collect himself, then put an arm around his shoulders. “What’d you do all summer, how come I didn’t see ya?” 

“Heya Buck.” Tony was a good two or maybe three inches shorter than Bucky and Sam and just at eye level with Clint, but he tipped his chin up and set a stance like he was taller than all of them, his eyes glinting with determination and more than a healthy amount of cockiness as he answered, “Spent the summer down at the beach, too damn busy gettin’ lucky for all your bullshit.” 

“Yeah?” Bucky’s grin stretched a little wider at the typical-Tony response. “How was the action at the beach?” 

“Oh you know.” Tony huffed a laugh. “As good as it always is. Barely made it out with my pants on.” 

“Yeah.” Clint butted into the conversation. “Must’ve been hard with all them pretty people hanging around you, huh? I sure know how that is.” 

“Only thing that hangs around you are flies.” Sam shoved Clint away and asked, “So what, you just chased tail all summer? Couldn’t call us once?”

“Nah.” Valkyrie decided. “Nah, there was someone special, that’s why he didn’t call us. Look at him blushing like a fuckin’ idiot. Who was it, Tony?” 

“Wait, what?” Bucky peered a little closer at the tell tale red on Tony’s face. “You punk! Holdin’ out on me? What’d you do, go and fall in love?” 

“Yeah right, Tony Stark doesn’t fall in love.” Tony denied quickly, almost too quickly. “I mean, there was this one guy. Blonde, real hot, smokin’ boyd. He was uh--” Tony cleared his throat. “--he was sorta special, I guess.”

“So he put out like a vending machine, gave it up for nickels.” Bucky decided and the other three howled in laughter. “Ain’t that right, Tony?” 

“That all you think about, Buck?” Tony pulled a face and Bucky nodded decisively, “You know th’hell it is!” 

The bell rang, covering whatever Tony said in response but when Bucky caught what looked like sadness in his buddy’s eyes, he grabbed at Tony’s jacket to slow him down before they made it inside.

“Tony, what happened this summer, you gonna tell me or what?” Bucky wanted to know. “You don’t gotta tell me everything, but I wanna know if you found someone good. You’re my best friend, that sorta shit matters.” 

“Tony Stark doesn’t fall in love.” Tony repeated the words a little louder, almost as if he were trying to convince himself like he was trying to convince Bucky. “But if it makes you happy, I’ll give you the dirty details at lunch, you horny bastard.” 

“Oh, do you know the way to my heart.” Bucky clasped a hand over his heart and Tony finally laughed out loud, shoving at his friend and jogging up the steps. “Glad you’re back around, Tony. Senior year, baby!” 

“Senior year!” Tony jumped up to slap the frame of the door, trying to hide the lingering heartbreak over Steve under another shout. “Here we go!” 

“Here. We. Go.” Natasha Romanov unknowingly echoed Tony’s words as she stepped from her car and swung a bright pink jacket around her shoulders. “One more year in this piece of shit place and then we’ll be free.”

“This place is a piece of shit, but at least we’re seniors this year.” Pepper wobbled and nearly fell on sky high heels but managed to save it, balancing rhinestoned sunglasses on her nose and shrugging into her own jacket. “This time we rule the school. Andover High is ours for the taking.” 

“Damn right we rule the school.” Carol tore open a pack of Oreos and licked the frosting from the middle of a cookie before discarding the rest and opening another. “Nobody’s gonna tell us what to do this time around!” 

“Okay maybe not, but still oh my god, stop that!” Pepper smacked Carol with her clutch and tried to knock the cookies away. “That is so adolescent!” 

“Well I mean--” Carol shrugged and destroyed another Oreo. “We’re still here for one more year right? Technically we still are adolescents.” 

“Okay just don’t flaunt it.” Pepper adjusted her bra and Natasha asked, “Stuffing this year, Pep? Gave up on asking Santa for new boobs, huh?”

“For all you know I could have gone up a size this summer! This could really be me!” Pepper cried, and then shrieked when Carol reached over with a “Honka Honka!” and squeezed at the bra. “CAROL!” 

“Definitely stuffing but it sure felt fancy.” Carol’s eyes widened. “Oooh! Are you wearing one of them new WonderBras?” 

“I hate you!” Pepper hissed and Carol tossed her head back and practically cackled with laughter as Pepper tried and failed to run after her in those stupid shoes. “Carol! I hate you!” 

“One more year.” Natasha said to herself, straightening her skirt and lifting her chin. “One more year and then I can get the hell out of here and away from--” 

Pepper was still shrieking in the distance, but that didn’t distract from a few sideways looks as a group of girls passed Natasha, nor did it cover the whispers as they shared no doubt pointless, hurtful gossip about the easiest girl in school.

“--away from all that bullshit.” Natasha sneered at their smirks and tugged her shirt down a little further to show off another inch of cleavage. “Bitches.”

************

Back in New York Steve had spent all his time with a small group of friends who had enough in common to make the school days easier. They had studied together, been wall flowers at dances together, were always in student government and sat at the same table at lunch. They might not have been the most popular kids in school, but they were fun anyway, and as he walked into Andover High for the very first time, Steve would have given just about anything to be back in New York with them again.

It was bad enough moving without any notice at all, he’d had to say goodbye to his friends over the phone while unpacking boxes at the new place. It was even worse that his parents had decided to move without even going back to New York. There had been a new job opportunity for Steve’s Dad and the perfect house opening up at the perfect time and his Ma had been so excited about it all working out--

--neither of his parents had even thought to ask what Steve wanted, when all Steve could think about was how Tony would have called the New York number only to reach a disconnected dial tone. 

Steve was sick to his stomach thinking about how heart broken Tony would be, or worse how angry Tony would be, most likely thinking Steve had given him a fake number. Steve had spent nights tossing and turning trying to come up with ways to track down Tony’s number or maybe even his address so he could write an apology letter or at least explain what happened. Tony probably hated him now and it just wasn’t fair-- it wasn’t fair-- and Steve thought he’d never stop being sad. 

He was pulled at least partially from first day nervousness and soul wrenching melancholy by the presence of his school assigned guide Thor, who was extra big and extra friend and really difficult to stay miserable around. 

Thor swept Steve through the halls of Andover High with wild hand gestures and loud explanations of various teachers, showed Steve the trick to kicking a locker door open if he couldn’t remember the combination, and at lunch, Thor wrapped his giant hand around Steve’s wrist and pulled him through the cafeteria and out to the tables, cheerfully announcing over his shoulder, “My friends are sort of terrible, but I promise you’ll like them anyway! Come on!” 

“Oh, they’re… terrible?” Steve asked, but Thor was already making a beeline for the lunch table on the far end of the yard and Steve knew there was no stopping the massive blond. “Well I mean, I guess I need to make new friends at some point?”

Thor might have been enthused about school and making new friends, but Natasha was already ready to jump out of a window and drop out of Andover entirely and it was only noon on the first day. 

“Hey.” Carol reached over and snatched at Natasha’s dessert before plopping down on the chair next to her. “Tasha, did you check out Tony this morning? He is looking fantastic this year. He’s got some weird, broody thing going on and it’s wonderful.”

“It’s ancient history is what it is.” Natasha muttered, poking at her food. “Stop talking about it.”

“Well sometimes ancient history repeats itself.” Pepper needled, “And Carol’s right, he does have this broody look going on. Nothing’s cuter than a damaged boy, right?” 

“Right, cos that’s what I want. A boy who needs fixed.” Natasha shoved the less than edible food away with a huff. She wasn’t willing to admit how much it had hurt that Tony hadn’t called her once all summer, especially after they’d gone together for a while last year. And Tony did look good this year, older and a little more serious but Natasha was willing to bet good money that it was another line, another play, another attempt by another boy to just be stupid because that’s all they ever were. 

“I barely wanted Tony last spring.” She said calmly. “I certainly don’t want him if he’s going to be high maintenance and need his feelings cared for.” 

Carol and Pepper exchanged a look that Natasha did not appreciate at all, but before she could say anything about it, Thor shouted at them from a little bit away and waved excitedly, so she let it drop.

“Hey girls!” Thor was bigger than most of the boys at the school, bigger than most of the teachers for that matter, over tall and over muscled and just the nicest person in the world, and even though the table shook when he sat and Pepper fussed over losing one of her rhinestones in her food, everyone had a smile for the guy. 

“Thor, that shirt is--.” Carol looked over Thor’s too tight tank top with raised eyebrows, then glanced up at Steve. “-- well your nipples certainly aren’t shy, are they? Anyway, who’s your friend?” 

“This is Steve.” Thor announced proudly, and tugged Steve closer. “He moved here from New York and doesn’t know anyone and I thought he’d fit in just fine with us!” 

“Ladies.” Steve offered a somewhat awkward wave and sat gingerly at the table, smoothing the pleats of his khakis self consciously. “I appreciate you letting me sit with you. This is all very different than what I’m used to.” 

Carol, who had her hair in pigtails and was slurping at a smoothie like it was her last meal, only waggled her eyebrows in apparent approval of Steve while Pepper, who seemed quite a bit more mature than the other girls only sent Steve a coolly appraising glance over her sunglasses. He felt like Natasha immediately didn’t like him, the tiny redhead’s eyes narrowing and arms folding as she asked, “New York? What part? You seem a little small town to be from the Big Apple.” 

“Small town.” Steve repeated, not sure if he’d just been insulted or not. “I um-- I’m actually from Brooklyn but it’s still part of New York City.” 

“Oooh, Brooklyn.” Natasha raised her eyebrows. “That city carries a certain sorta reputation I have a hard time believing you live up to--ow!” she scowled and rubbed at her leg when Thor kicked out at her. “Damn it--”

“Oh yoo hoo!” a voice cutting through the general lunchtime noise and whatever else Natasha was going to say. “Ayoo-ahoo-ahoo! Don’t think you can hide from me, because you can’t!” 

“Who--?” Steve started to ask and Natasha sighed as if the very words pained her as she answered, “Scott Lang. The most obnoxiously, over cheerful, pain in my-- Hi!” she looked up with a smile that was closer to a snarl. “Scott! How are you!” 

“Oh, oh my gosh.” Scott was cute, bubbly and sweet and with a smile at least a mile wide, and entirely oblivious to the layer of hostility at the table. “I love the first day of school don’t you? It’s just the biggest thrill of my life! And oh! You’ll never guess what’s happened!” 

“...Probably not.” Carol said around a mouthful of sandwich. “Gonna tell us anyway though, aren’t you?” 

“The nominations for student council just came in!” Scott’s impossibly wide smile got even wider. “And you’ll never guess who’s up for Vice President!” 

“Surprise us.” Thor said calmly and Steve hid a tiny smile at the giant’s attempt at politeness. 

“Me!” Scott burst out and then laughed out loud. “Isn’t that the most! I mean, to say the least.” 

“The absolute, very least.” Pepper sighed. “So, Scott--” 

“Oh my god, you must think I’m the worst for not introducing myself to your friend!” Scott hustled his way around the table and plopped right down into Steve’s space. “Hello! I’m Scott Lang! You must the new kid because I don’t know you and I know everyone! Where are you from? You sound like you’re from New York, but don’t worry, that terrible accent will fade super quick and you’ll be talking just like us beach bums around here!” 

“Uh--” Steve blinked a few times and Scott rushed on, “You have to come to cheerleader tryouts! I know what you’re thinking, cheerleaders are girls! But no! We have to have someone strong to lift the girls into the stunts right! Say you’ll come! We’ll get to share so many experiences and have so much fun and get to be life long friends!” 

“Life long--” Steve couldn’t quite manage to match Scott’s energy. “I mean-- sure?” 

“Oh my god, leave the poor kid alone.” Pepper said in exasperation and shoved at Scott’s shoulder. “Steve, you don’t have to be a cheerleader. No one except Scott is that peppy.” 

“Nothing wrong with a little pep!” Scott said cheerfully. “What do you think, Steve?” 

“I think being a cheerleader would be a great way to make some friends…” Steve started slowly, but apparently that was enough for Scott, who clapped his hands in excitement and started rattling off try out times and practice locations and oh wouldn’t Steve just love their uniforms, he looked like he was born to wear red white and blue!

“Steve.” Carol took pity on Steve’s slightly glazed expression and reached across the table to tap at his hand. “So what’d you do all summer? Anything fun?” 

“My folks rented a cottage and I was down at the beach every day.” Steve smiled when Thor made an “oooh” sound. “I um-- I met a boy there. We spent the entire summer together.” 

“You hauled your cookies all the way to the beach for a boy?” Natasha took a loud sip of her drink. “Sounds pretty pointless to me.” 

“Well I mean.” Steve rubbed at a spot on his button of shirt, a streak of pink splashing across his cheeks. “He was pretty special.” 

******************

All the way across the football field, Tony sprawled onto the bleachers alongside Bucky, tossing pebbles at Valkyrie and Clint as they arm wrestled and jeering down at the jocks with Sam. It was weird to be back in school after what felt like an endless summer, weird to be back in his leather jacket after living in soft shirts and board shorts and during some wonderful afternoons, no shirts at all, just skin to skin with Steve as they kissed and touched and….

“So hey.” Bucky finished his lunch and tossed the trash away, bumping Tony with his elbow and jostling him from his thoughts. “Tell me about the guy this summer. All that beach action. Was he taller than you?”

“Everyone’s taller than Tony.” Sam joked and when Tony scowled at him, put both hands up and apologized, “Damn man, sorry. Thought the height thing was okay to joke about.” 

“Ignore him.” Bucky kicked Sam’s drink over just to be a jerk and smirked when Sam shouted in protest. “Tell me about him, Tony. Come on.”  

“Nah.” Tony didn’t really want to tell anyone about Steve, he sort of wanted to keep that memory just for himself. 

Besides, it wasn’t like the summer had ended nice or anything. Tony had kissed Steve bye and then waited a week  to call just to make sure the beautiful blond would make it back to New York, and then he’d called twice a day every day for a week and a half before someone had finally picked up. 

But the person on the other end hadn’t been Steve or anyone who knew Steve, just a confused sounding lady telling him, “No one named Steve lives here, honey. You must have the wrong number.” 

Tony had hung up, looked down at the number he had so carefully copied and repeated back to Steve at least a half dozen times so he knew it was right, then tossed the paper in the trash and cried himself to sleep for the first and goddamnit, the last time in his life. 

But now for some reason his leather jacket felt like it fit different and his stiffly styled hair look unnatural in the mirror and Tony knew he had bags under his eyes big enough to pack clothes in, but he hadn’t slept much at all since that day and he was freakin’ miserable. 

So no, the last thing he wanted to do was talk about the sweet blond that had both stolen and broken his heart so, “Nah.” was all he said, and went back to picking at his food. 

“Hey!” Bucky protested loudly. “What’s this bullshit about keeping secrets! Come on! You promised horny details, damn you!” 

“Horny details--” Valkyrie yanked away from the arm wrestling and Clint yelped as he splatted forward onto the bleachers. “Dumb ass! That woudn’a happened if you weren’t putting all your weight into trying to beat me! Tony! Let’s hear horny details!” 

“I’m down for horny.” Clint sniffed loudly and straddled one of the bleachers. “C’mon Stark, don’t hold out on us. I didn’t get lucky once all summer, help me out here.” 

Valkyrie, Sam and Clint were egging him on and Bucky was looking at him like he didn’t understand why Tony wasn’t willing to give up any details, so Tony did the only thing he felt like he could do--

--popped the collar of his jacket, ran his fingers through his hair and tipped his head back with a cocky grin, drawling, “Alright alright alright. You guys wanna know what happened? It started with a blond.” he let his smile slide slow and knowing, hiding the sadness he couldn’t quite seem to shake. “And ended with a--” Tony let his hand hit the bleachers a few times, bang bang bang, and Sam howled out loud as the others erupted into cheers. 

“Yeah that’s right.” It was easier to pretend he was okay so long as he didn’t talk about any feelings, so Tony basically leered as he said. “It was a blast, you feel me? Happened so fast, so damn easy. I met this smoking hot blonde. Real tall, bright blue eyes and a body that just--” he shuddered and Clint whistled. 

“He was crazy for me.” Tony said confidently, and that wasn’t a lie at all. “Just freakin’ crazy for me.” 

“Oh yeah?” Sam tore open the wrapping on a candy bar and shoved half of it into his mouth. “Did you get real far?” 

“Yeah, that’s what I wanna know.” Clint agreed. “Details! Details! Details!” 

“Oh come on, you know how it is.” Tony laughed when Valkyrie and Clint started banging on the bleachers. “Same old, same old.” 

************

“So tell us about him!” Pepper ignored Natasha’s glower and urged Steve, “How did you guys meet? Did he have a car?” 

“Oh well.” Steve didn’t even know if he could talk about Tony without crying, but he gave it a try, managing a nearly heartbroken smile as he answered, “I don’t know about a car, but uh-- we met cos he was trying to show off. He was running down the beach and tried to dive for a football and ended up just kicking a bunch of sand at me.” 

Steve’s smile turned a little more genuine thinking about how Tony had tried so hard to be suave. “He was really cute though, and apologized about sixteen times so I forgave him.”

“How did he make it up to you?” Carol flicked a french fry at Natasha just to make the redhead frown and added, “I mean, boys are generally the worst, so what did he do to make you fall in love with him?” 

“Just the usual things, I suppose. “ Steve’s blush got a little deeper when Scott squealed something excited and propped his chin up in his hands to listen. “We went bowling and he was terrible, and I laughed so hard when he tried to be cool about it that he finally stopped and was just dorky with me.” 

“Oooh he was dorky?” Natasha rolled her eyes theatrically. “Sounds like a keeper.” 

“... he was a keeper.” Steve said sadly. “He was wonderful.”

“Tell us more.” Scott demanded. “I want to know more about your Prince Charming.” 

“Oh I don’t know--” 

“Tell me more! Tell me more!” Scott chanted. “Tell me more!” 

**************

“So we’re both in the water, right?” Tony dropped his sunglasses down over his eyes and affected a casual tone. “He goes swimming by me in these little tiny shorts, little red and blue striped things? Just slutty, I swear. Begging for attention. Then he gets a leg cramp and almost drowns, I’m telling ya, it was a good thing thing I was there.” 

“Uh huh, uh huh.” Bucky crowed. “So you rescued him and he thanked you in all the good ways?!” 

“Don’t you know it.” Tony scrunched his nose and grinned. “He nearly drowned okay? Without me there, the world been have been less one hot blonde. Real shame, that. And oh my god, he was so grateful, you know?” 

“Did you get down doobie down?” Sam wanted to know and Valkyrie hit him in the shoulder with a, “We’re practically adults, Sam! Just call it sex!” 

“Alright fine.” Sam huffed. “Did you get sex, Tony? There, you happy Val? Now I sound like an asshole.” 

“You always sound like an asshole.” Bucky retorted. “Keep goin’ Tony. Tell us more.” 

“We made out under the dock.” Tony said slyly and Sam whistled under his breath. “Sand was warm and the water was cold and he didn’t believe in wearing a shirt so it was just a whole lotta golden skin everywhere. Plus he had this sexy little East Coast accent, something in New York. He’d get all flustered and it would get thick and just--” that was a little too true for comfort and Tony forced out a teasing whistle. “All good things.” 

“Wait.” Clint grabbed at Tony’s leg. “Wait, lover boy was a virgin? If he got all flustered when you’d kiss then--” 

“What can I say, those good boys love me!” Tony laughed out loud and everyone else joined in. 

“Even though for a good boy, he sure kissed real nice.” Tony admitted. “Never met anyone who kissed half as good as he did, and I’ve spent a whole lotta time kissin’ a whole lotta people. He was the best.” 

“The best?” Bucky said skeptically, and Tony’s smile edged towards sad as he repeated,  “Never kissed anyone like that before, and never gonna kiss anyone else like him again. I swear.” 

***************

“Oh my gosh, he was sweet.” Steve sighed a little. “Almost ready to turn nineteen, and he was handsome enough to be a model but then had these dark brown eyes that could get just about anything out of me. Bambi eyes, you know?”

“Just about anything?” Pepper’s pretty lips parted in surprise. “Out of you?” 

“Well not everything.” Steve glanced around the table, from Natasha’s bored expression to Scott’s wide eyed interest. “But there’s nothing more romantic than summer nights, right? Walking under the stars and being on the pier as the sun goes down?” 

“That sounds wonderful, and I absolutely hate that romantic nonsense.” Carol declared. “Tell us more. Did he spend a lot of money on you? That’s real love, when they buy you things.” 

“Preach.” Pepper reached over and high fived Carol. “So Steve? Lots of presents?” 

“He bought me lemonade every day and then we would share it while we wandered along the boardwalk.” Steve said wistfully. “Cotton candy at the Fourth of July fair. I didn't need presents, it was just nice to be with him. He got all friendly wanting to hold my hand and he’s the first boy I ever kissed and it was amazing.” 

“Sounds like a drag.” Natasha fake yawned into her hand and when Pepper sent her a look, she shrugged, “What? It sounds too pure for me. Practically prissy. Call me when the story gets good.” 

“Ignore her.” Thor decided. “Tell me more. Where is he now?” 

*************

“Could he get me a friend?” Clint asked eagerly. “I need someone to kiss.” 

“No one wants to kiss you.” Valkyrie said flatly. “So what Tony? You kissed this guy and then-- I mean, did he make you work for it? Give it up like it was going out of style? What?” 

“He got all sortsa friendly down in the sand.” Vaguely, but meaningful, Tony waggling his eyebrows pointedly. “All sortsa super friendly, alright? Didn’t take much at all. Those summer nights, you guys. Just ice cream, romance and gettin’ lucky. Easiest thing in the world to get lost in all that, over and over.” 

“And over and over and over!” Bucky hollered. “YES, Tony! Was he any good?” 

“I told you he’s the best kisser I ever had.” Tony objected and Clint countered, “Well yeah, but just cos someone kisses like they know what they’re doin’ don’t mean they actually know. Remember the Bruce debacle?”

“He says debacle like he knows what it means.” Sam tossed a pebble at Clint. “He’s got a point, Tony. Bruce walks around kissin’ like he’s tryna fuck you right then and there but you said when you tried to get friendly, he turned you down.” 

“Eh, maybe I’m not his type.” Tony hedged and Bucky argued, “Nah Tony’s everyone’s type. S’just that Bruce is one’a them that only likes kissing but doesn’t like sex, you know?” 

“That just doesn’t seem right at all.” Valkyrie declared. “We call the guy the Hulk for a reason, a damn waste to not use all them inches  for the greater good.” 

“The greater good--” Bucky snorted soda out of his nose and spluttered a few times. “Damn Val, warn a guy before you say something like that!” 

“Anyway.” she rolled her eyes and turned back to Tony. “Alright, so you got lucky with the guy all summer, he was hot and made you feel all shivery and shit. What then? What happened?” 

“It got cold.” Tony tried to shrug as if it didn’t matter but Bucky tipped his head and frowned when he saw a flicker of sadness across Tony’s face. “And summer romances, they gotta end at some point. It got cold, he went back to New York, end of story.” 

“End of story.” Sam repeated. “You don’t call him or anything?” 

“Tony Stark doesn’t do long distance.” Tony cocked an eyebrow like it was the stupidest thing he’d ever heard. “Summer fling, don’t mean a thing. I told him we’d still be friends, maybe if he ever came back this way then we could do it all again. That was it.” 

*************

“He told me he’d call and that he wanted to see me at Christmas and try and be together next summer.” Steve sighed, and next to him, Scott sighed as if it were his heart breaking. “Then he told me he loved me, and I told him I loved him, and we promised to never forget each other. That was it.” 

“That was it?” Pepper gathered up her lunch trash and the rest of the table stood to start heading back inside. “You spend all summer with him, fall in love, and the guy didn’t even lay a finger on you?”

“It wasn’t like that.” Steve shrugged, a hand to his stomach as it twisted uncomfortably all over again. Tony must hate me now, oh my gosh. “He was a perfect gentleman and saying I love you was enough. We didn’t need to do-- to do everything else.” 

“Sounds fake.” Carol decided, jumping up onto a table so she could climb onto Thor’s back and get a ride to class. “I don’t see how anyone would spend a summer with a boy who looks like you and not be climbing into your pants.”

“You aren’t ever going to see him again?” Thor wrapped one big hand around Carol’s calf to hold her steady, then hooked his other arm around Steve’s shoulders and clicked his tongue in sympathy. “Didn’t you exchange addresses or phone numbers or anything?” 

“I gave him my number in New York.” Steve’s blue eyes dimmed in distress. “But then my folks decided to stay here and we moved our belongings with a service and never actually went back to the East Coast.” 

“So he thinks you gave him a wrong number?” Natasha cut in. “Wow. He probably hates you now.” 

“He probably does.” Steve sounded so miserable Natasha actually felt bad for her comment, and cursed under her breath before awkwardly comforting, “Well i suppose he probably thinks he wrote it down wrong.. I mean maybe he doesn’t hate you?”

“What was his name?” Carol asked from Thor’s back, peering down at Steve curiously. “Was he local? This isn’t that big of a town, we might recognize the name if he’s one’a them tourists that have a summer home here or whatever. If he comes back every summer, maybe we could help you track him down.” 

“I suppose it can’t hurt.” Steve smoothed his khakis again. “His name was Tony. Tony Stark.”

“TONY STARK—“ Thor stumbled to a stop and and nearly face planted, and Carol screamed as she catapulted over the blond’s shoulders and into the bushes.

“WELL!” Tasha said loudly, smacking Thor’s midsection so he wouldn’t say anything else. “Steve, I think your summer love sounds um— sounds—“

“Peachy keen!” Pepper interrupted. “Just absolutely peachy keen!”

“And you know.” Natasha bared her teeth in a fake smile. “If you believe in true love and um, miracles, I’m sure you’ll see your Prince Charming again.”

“Do you really think so?” Steve absolutely lit up, blue eyes sparkling. “Thor, do you think so?”

“Ummmm.” Thor glanced at the girls helplessly, then reached and hauled Carol from the bushes, brushing the leaves from her hair. “I… I think we should get to class, Steve. Let’s worry about Prince Charming another day.”

Thor hurried Steve away, sending a concerned look over his shoulder as they went, and Carol whirled around on Natasha immediately, nearly screeching, “Tasha! Prissy McGee’s Prince Charming was Tony?? Weren’t you two just playing tonsil tennis and doing the dance with no pants?”

“Oh god, Carol!” Pepper gagged. “Don’t say it like that!”

“Whatever Tony and I were doing was neither tennis nor dancing because both of those things require good hands and stamina and Tony Stark has exactly none of either.” Natasha scoffed. “A Grabby Quickfire is all he is. Steve is welcome to him. I certainly won’t miss those three minutes of grunting and groaning and cleaning up the mess after.”

Pepper sneezed a laugh into her compact and then cursed when the powder flew into her nose. “Oh damn it Tasha. Seriously, though. How the heck does that happen, and what are you going to do about it?”

“What am I going to do about it?” Natasha snatched Peppers compact and carefully reapplied a thick layer of bright red lipstick. “I’m going to make sure our new friend doesn’t get anywhere near Tony for the next week and then re-Introduce them at the pep rally on Saturday. Nothing like a spontaneous reunion to keep things interesting, right?” 

“That seems harsh.” Carol ripped the wrapper off a lollipop and shoved it in her mouth. “Gonna mess Steve up real bad to see how Tony really is.”

“Well, he won’t be the first to be heartbroken, will he?” Natasha clicked the compact shut and tossed her hair over her shoulder. “Let’s go ladies.”

*************

SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THE CHAPTER! (I love approximately 120931928 things about this AU and I can’t wait to scream about it with you guys!) 

*************

@ships-galore @ceealaina @izziebladez @cwar1864 @hausoffro @lookuplaughing @tonystarkisanangel @multishippinglife @girlnic @iam93percentstardust @water-colouredmemories @paranormalmoonlight5 @igotloki @moosette05 @wayward-student-philosopher @kaz-brekkers-gloves @atomicfandombomb @desitonystark @1fuckingshitup69 @agentlokii @here-for-your-bullshit @livewire28 @flowers-and-honey @bluedreamdino @blackreaders-assemble @pidgist

[threeletterslife]

Chana. ChANA I AM LITERALLY BLOWN AWAY BY HOW MUCH THOUGHT YOU PUT IN YOUR STORIES, not a lot of people can write anything interesting & engaging *coughs at myself* let alone be able to put so many deeper messages and gray area for readers to analyze and interpret. I swear, I could literally see myself discussing topics from your fics in my literature class, especially since a lot of it has no definite answer and questions a lot about morality(?). Your fics are a dose of brain exercise 😃

A random question though, are you ever discouraged by the low number of notes on your fics? Also is it annoying to have silent readers like me ;-; (as in I'm not actually able to like or reblog your works)? Anyways, GOOD LUCK ON FINALS AND I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR HIATUS AND GET THAT SEROTONIN FROM WRITING :D ((i think you mentioned once that writing gives you serotonin?? sorry if I'm wrong hfkakgk)) AND GOOD LUCK ON TURNING IN YOUR COLLEGE APPS/EARLY DECISION RESULTS (i think) !! 🌻

THAT IS SUCH A BIG COMPLIMENT I AM SCREAMING 😭😭😭DISCUSS??? my FICS??? in LIT CLASS?? lmfao i WISH! i really do try hard to make my fics beyond one-dimensional LOL i’m literally sO fascinated with human behavior and iconic literary periods (existentialism, modernism, romanticism) all some of my favs!! and since i’m so heavily inspired by these periods, i guess i can’t help but let these concepts bleed into some of my work OOP. also sometimes i write without thinking of symbolism, but it just turns out that way 😳😳and then i just go along with it LOL (so sometimes my ‘deeper’ messages are a fluke 😀😀) #exposed (but i’m starting to think a lot of the great authors in history are like this too)

anyways! good question! i don’t ever become discouraged by the number of notes i get. i mean, sure, having more notes is indicative of “success,” but i just see the notes as a way to gauge how many readers i have. i think a good rule of thumb is you have about three or four times as many readers as your notes. and to me, just having anyone other than me or my irl friends read my work is SHOCKING. i define my success here with how satisfied i feel with my own work. on a scale of one to ten, i’d say i’m at a 6 right now. i still think i have a lot of room for improvement. but the fact that people are willing to read my sub par writing is insane. i don’t really mind if my readers are silent! i think that has to do more with personality (i rarely interact with my favorite authors on here even though i IDOLIZE their work,,, i’m just shY i guess 😀). i know that people read my writing and that makes me happy enough!

of course, fic reviews and likes are another serotonin boost for me! (anyone open to discussing my fics with me would instantly become my bff LMFAO). but i don’t necessarily need followers, likes and reblogs to stay on this platform. tumblr’s just a place for me to post my ideas as an amateur writer! if i gain more readers, that’d be amazing. if i maintain a smaller platform, that’s fine too! i’m just already more than thankful that i have a loyal readership and people like you who send me kind messages on a weekly basis!! 

BUT YES I JUST FINISHED ALL MY FINALS!! THANK YOU! I’VE BEEN WRITING FOR TWO HOURS TODAY LOL. and YES! WRITING LITERALLY CHASES AWAY DEPRESSION LOLL 

[olivethomas]

A I was tagged by @silver-screen-nostalgia for this to answer ten questions, come up with my own ten and tag ten people.

1. What was the first movie you ever remember seeing?

My grandma had a vhs of The Road to Morroco I used to watch whenever I visited her. 

This scene is etched into my memory for eternity.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtXjqPavcA0

2. Who was the movie star that you really got into?

The first bio I read was Lauren Bacall's and then I watched a bunch of her films but she wasn't the one who got me back into classic film. I can't remember who it was, it really happened all at once and there were multiple ppl I suddenly really liked. 

3. If you could have a role in any movie, who would be?

Bored socialite in the 30s who drinks too much and hates her husband ofc (that early 20th century lit class had an effect on me). Maybe I murder him lol idk. I am not an actor and never will be so I don't think about that a lot.

4. What decade is your favorite for movies?

1930s for romantic comedies, Precodes in general (also 30s but you need to differentiate), 1960s for foreign film. I don't have a favorite favorite tho. I think every decade has brought us great films as well as bad ones and there's not really one that's better than the other. Its close-minded in my opinion to not watch a movie from a certain time period just because it's from that time period. 

5. If you could have the wardrobe from any 1 film, what would it be?

The Women! Give me Joan Crawford’s bedazzled sparkly dresses and Rosalind Russell’s weird surrealist inspired looks and Paulette Goddard's cowgirl outfit from the divorce ranch pls.

6. If you could date your favorite movie star, would you?

Probably not. I would learn they were human and it would ruin my perception of them. Gotta keep up the illusion of celebrity (which modern celebs are ruining rn through their lack of empathy and constant bitching about being bored in their mansions) 

7. What was the first movie you saw in cinema, and what was the last?

I honest to god do not remember. Like I have strong memories of seeing Lotr but I had definitely seen movies in the theater before that because I was like 7 or 8 then and my fam loves going to the movies.

8. Any book to movie adaptations that you completely hated because of how horribly it was adapted?

The Golden Compass (the show isn't bad though!) 

9.  Is there a book to movie adaption where you think the movies better?

A Room With a View, the book is nice but Helena Bonham Carter making out in a field in Italy to opera music is why cinema exists!

10. Who is someone you love you wish more people loved?

Jennifer Jones! I understand that you think she overacts but I would like you to know that you are wrong.

Also Shelley Winters. She was an amazing character actress who picked really amazing and unique films to be in but whenever I post her she never gets a lot of notes and I'm not sure why (it may be because she isn't “beautiful” like some of the other more popular actresses are. Ppl who know nothing about OH are more likely to reblog a pic of Ava Gardner looking radiant than Shelley Winters looking like a normal person.)

[writings-from-the-hart]

Writebr Intro

Writeblr Intro Time!

Hiya! This is so overdue and I apologize for that lol. I’ve been meaning to write this but school seems to always be getting in the way of just that. Writing. But here I am finally writing this! And yes my username is a pun of my own last name but I just couldn’t resist.

So basically, I really want to surround myself with other writers and have stumbled across tons of writeblr’s (I think that’s what they’re called lol). Instantly I was in love and wanted more of what the community had to offer. I’ve been a self-proclaimed “author” or writer since my early years of grade school. I was that child in the back of the class with ADHD that couldn’t sit still (the cliche bouncing leg and always chewed down nails) and had what my mother called an “overactive imagination”. My notebooks in high school were often filled with wild stories about “galaxies far far away” or dystopias with cruel governments ruled by dictators. Now I’m in my second year of college swamped with classes about the Psychology of criminals (or I like to call the science of murder), and trying to find time to write a novel. So the struggle is real my dudes.

A little about Me:

Hana

20

She/Her

Pisces

Asexual

Forensic Psychology Major and English with a concentration in Writing Minor

Book hoarder

Dog Mom

Vintage AF

Low Key Emo Punk because I’m no average white girl!

History nerd (Love learning about the old wars and cultures)

Movie nerd (There’s an endless stack of DVDs in my house)

Fandoms:

The Mandolorian (or the ManDADolorian)

Star Trek

Star Wars

Hannibal

X-Files

King Falls Am

Welcome to Nightvale

Transformers (Obviously not the bad movies lol. Bumblebee is baby and must be protected always.)

Good Omens

Sherlock

Lord of the Rings

Marvel (There are so many shows and movies in this category we would be here all day if I tried to list them.)

Timeless (Not sure if the fandom is still alive after what the writers did to one of our ships lol)

DC (I’m a huge Batman geek and adore Wonderwoman, but I take the good with the bad when it comes to this fandom. Especially movie-wise anymore.)

And there’s probably more but my memory isn’t working currently.

Goals?. . . maybe:

Get my novel finished (This has literally been on my To-Do List for who knows how long.)

Meet more writers/new writers.

Improve my poetry (I suck at poetry so I bad I never let it see the light of day, so I need to work on it.)

Start my bullet journal.

Wips:

Okay by now you all know I have at least 1 Wip because I mentioned getting a freaking novel done, but just as a precaution as to what I mean by Wip or Wips. I get distracted quite easily, for some odd reason my brain absolutely loves to jump from one idea to another for no absolute reason. Like WTF dude we already have an idea we’re working on why do you keep bringing all these new ones to me like stray dogs. And like any good dog Mom or distracted writer, I want to keep all the ideas/stray dogs. So, when I say Wip I mean “Look at this cool idea I came up with” and I’ll make sure to specify which one is hogging most of my time.

Renegade: Dystopian, Thriller, Post-Apocalypse, and Science Fiction.

This is my baby. Most of my free time is dedicated to adjusting plotlines, character arc’s, fixing freaking plot holes, and other important stuff other than just plain writing. I’m hoping to finish this also monster of a story by 2020 and get it published. So big stuff!  

“So tell me little wolf do you want to punish those who have wronged you?” An assassin known as the Crimson Ghost makes their way through the corrupt city-state of Ashton completing a job given to them by the Black Rose. What is a seemingly normal job though turns into something far more complicated when they stumble upon the fractions of an abandoned notebook from the past. A past the Republic is trying to desperately hide and bury no matter what. On the other side of the world in the Republic’s capital Eshar, plainly referred to as “The Prodigy” or “machine” by his superiors,  Eric Coalwood has built a life upon the ashes of his family, striving to meet the high expectations set before him by his mentor General Wolfheart. However, his life falls out of its normal day to day routine when the unexpected is asked of him. Command a task force made up of the Republic’s most wanted or his life is over. Eric doesn’t need reasons for why he must do what he has to, all he needs are orders and the Republic is more than happy to give them. Either way the clock is ticking for both the Crimson Ghost and the Republic’s prodigy and with time running out they both have two options. Either get over their different beliefs concerning the Republic or allow the world to once again succumb to war but this time nobody is going to survive it. “Legends are slippery things. For the glory that coats them hides the pain, suffering and death that created them.”

The Trouville Files: Dystopian, Thriller, Post-Apocalypse, and Science Fiction.

Not my biggest priority but definitely one of them considering the plot of this story. I mainly use this wip as a reference for Renegade because it’s actually the prequel to it. Also, it’s great to use as writing practice when I’m plagued with writer’s block for Renegade or frustrated with a plot hole. So this is my double-edged sword that does a lot of good.

“Death in these black days is neither kind nor quick.” The year is 2153, the world we know is nothing more than a wasteland strewn with the dead and a sky being choked by their ashes, not glorious and thriving but desolate and starving. The Red Death, a pandemic with a steady progression and a gruesome countdown to the demise of those infected. No one outruns it or survives it. “United we stand, divided we fall.” The Allied Nations, a totalitarian superpower, promised a united people but all they gave this world was more death and destruction. The Red Death isn’t the only thing slowly killing humanity anymore, we are in the form of the War of Broken Pacts. The spark of revolution is lit, but if it will remain so is a question asked by everyone. Does it stand a chance against the iron-fisted government holding the people in shackles? “Rebel with a cause.” Genius Medical Officer for The People’s Republic, Cyprus Ramiro works day and night in search of a cure for the Red Death exterminating hundreds, at least before this war kills him first. But he is also a man on the run and the rebellion can only shelter him for so long. “Duty over pain.” Cunning Spy and Soldier, Orion Ultor is ordered by the Allied Nations to infiltrate and gather information on the ever-growing People’s Republic. In bold letters is Search and Destroy; make a ruin of the rebellion and ensure the Allied Nations remains as it should -- unquestionably in power. No matter the cost unless he wants to suffer the consequences again. “If we fall we shall rise from the ashes like a phoenix.” They should have never met, battlefields don't make good friends. It wasn't fate, it wasn't destiny, only war throwing people together.  The Allied Nations is trying to stamp out something they fear, but can they before the Red Plague? Or will humanity find itself extinct.

Beyond his point is where I house my stray dogs/ideas

Hiraeth: Paranormal, Horror, Mystery, and Thriller.

Scooby-doo who?

Hiraeth means a homesickness for a home which you cannot return. That is how Arcane feels like she’ll never be home no matter how hard she tries to connect with her family. The closest she feels to being home is with her friends and in the worn leather seats of the van they all pitched in to buy. It all started out as a way to pass time and for all of them to escape their families because to be honest parents never understand, but it all turned sideways when a simple “ghost hunting trip” stirred something that was meant to remain buried. The truth never remains buried though, not really, somehow it will always creep back in ugly and twisted. Arcane has never felt “at home” but she’ll do whatever it takes to keep what she considers her family safe.

Sweet Dreams: Historical Fiction, Thriller, and Romance.

A literal dream turned into story plot and no I’m not kidding.

The Red String of Fate, The Lovers, and War. These are the three elements intertwined within the plot of Sweet Dreams but before anyone makes any assumptions this isn’t some chummy rom-com. There will be tears and heart strings may get yanked clean out because the angst is real. War and love never mix well, it leaves a sour taste in ones mouth and makes the mind question things it shouldn’t. Like is the woman in his dreams the same woman he sees in all his dreams? Constantly he somehow ends up spotting that same ruby red lipstick, honey golden eyes, and brunette hair laying in perfect curls. She’s everywhere except in his actual life. They say you and your soulmate share dreams, living proof of how intertwined souls are. She doesn’t believe in love or the idea of souls, not with the monsters roaming around the countryside and battlefield carrying assault rifles. Society tells her where her place is, but she disagrees and rather create her own destiny.

The Prophet: Paranormal, Thriller, Post-Apocalypse, and Science Fiction.  

A short story I can’t seem to let go or it doesn’t want to let me go, but either way, this story has the makings for something great. It also at times seems strikingly similar to Good Omens, so don’t be surprised.

There’s no anti-christ in this story, he already has a book about himself so let’s not make another one besides there are other stories that need to be told. Such as, have you ever heard of modern day prophets and I’m not talking about those people with cardboard signs saying “the end is near!” or giant churches with people preaching about the end times. No, I’m talking about a kid with messy hair and dark circles under their eyes because sleep is no longer a choice due to migraines that plague them every night. Migraines that bring weird cryptic messages that make one question their own sanity. And what happens when strange people start asking about said migraines and messages?

Virago: Fantasy, Thriller, Historical Fiction, and Romance.

I’m not a huge fantasy reader, for some reason I can’t stay invested in them, but here I am with a fantasy story in my wips. It has mages, knights, assasination plots, and one super badass general who takes zero shit from her king. That’s right women empowerment, my dudes! I don’t really have much of a synopsis inline or a plot because this is only of those wips I let rattle around in my brain from time to time. But I will say it does give me that LOTR vibe but also Game of Thrones.  

Don’t be surprised if you see my stray doggos from time to time because I will admit I love to play around with storyboards. Even if I don’t have a fully planned out plot put together for it.

And that concludes this what was supposed to be short Writeblr Intro. I hope I have peaked some of your guys’ interests because the community definitely got a hold of minee. Feel free to send me a message about anything I mentioned (even if it’s just fandom shit I don’t care) and don’t be shy. I’m a huge introvert but somehow love talking, so don’t worry it won’t be awkward and odds are I’m equally nervous about conversation lol. Also, feel free to add me to any taglist and reblog/like if you’re active and would like more Writeblr mutuals!

Happy Writing,

Writings-from-the-Hart

[jin-hua]

Not to be uwu on main but

It's Valentines day here and I just wanna tag some ppl and the dates I'd take them on uwu. I love you guys even tho some of us don't talk as much and some of us talk too much and sometimes wanna kill each other ♡♡

Happy Valentines Day! Someone loves you! ♡

Picnic date w/ @injuwun: :( can you even imagine how cute that would be just laying under the sun and surrounded by nature??? And with like rlly cute homenade food?? Like id go the extra mile and make the sandwiches heart shaped.

Café date w/ @honeysweetrenjun: I'm all for cute cafés and pretty plates bro :( I'd get there early and pre order you a slice of cake so you won't be kept waiting uwu

Art museum date w/ @hyuckskae, @oofsage, @its127am and @baektone : This is something that fits into your aesthetic and my art hoe self perfectly LOL. We'd probably giggle a lot and get kicked by the museum

Food tour w/ @taelentedshinee: this is a given bro and we always talk about food so its just something we can both enjoy a lot! I'd show up with flowers bc ik you like them a lot!

Stroll in the city night date w/ @justsomekpopstuff: Both of us being big city girls, I feel like we'd let the city take us to new places and just roam around! Maybe we'll find a pop up store or a new favorite candy place!

Late night food stall in Japan date w/ @cherryxiu: Japan is super pretty at night and esp in the countryside! Most of the food stalls are ran by families or lil grannies and grandpa's and I feel like we'd eat and just talk to them a lot uwu

Grocery shopping date w/ @forevershua: it would be a lot of us screaming at each other to make better food choices tbh being the moms of our own friend groups but for a fact there will be a time where we swap a carrot for a pack of oreos

Home date w/ @princeshushu : movies, ordering out orrr we try to make our own dinner and that's a super nice bonding experience uwu

Shopping date w/ @jejublr: you always talk about clothes and I love clothes so duhhh. I'd for a fact go back and buy that dress or skirt or smth that you didn't get bc you were a few dollars short and gift it to you after the date with a gift card too probably uwu.

Book store date w/ @cupidreunjun and @peachyjaemins: a lot of looking at books and giggling over showing each other small excerpts of books! Also cue probably reading to small kids whose parents are too busy to pay attention to them :((( I'm soft

Arcade date w/ @dreamingofjoon: LISTEN I take my games so seriously but I'd probably lose bc I'd be too busy thinking about how cute you look 🤙🤙🤙 bomb food after words FOR A FACT and a lot of like ticket for prizes exchanging or ticket counting to get the big prize.

Brunch date w/ @iloveyourenjun: we don't talk as much but everyone loves brunch LOL and food is such a good ice breaker imo! I would say we'd split the meal and I'd end up secretly paying for it when I "go" to the bathroom hehe

Ice skating w/ @midsummerenjun: lbr idk how to skate but I'd fall over and over if it meant you kept laughing uwu. A lot of screaming tbh im super bad on the ice. A lot of bruises from falling definitely and eating hot dogs on the bleachers while watching like kids do spins like "how the heck"

Photography tour date w/ @mingictzen : it's like we go around looking for nice places to take photos! I'll bring my camera and we can both dress super nice! LIT IG POSTS 👌👌

Pop up art museum date w/ @adoboprince I feel like something more modern and less aged would suit the two of us! Lots of bright colors and smthing like food after!

Yoga class date w/ @masterninjacow : it's a nice binding activity and a date you can take something from! A lot of us screaming bc I accidentally made us take a hard class and now we're stuck in a pose which isn't uncommon.

Beach date w/ @lunehua: idk about you but a hoe loves the water even tho I can't swim I think it's nice to just sit in the sand and enjoy the breeze

[sheikah]

hey kristen! i was wondering if you could recommend me some books, please! thank you in advance.

Hi anon! I’m sorry in advance for how shitty this rec list is about to be haha. As weird as it may seem being an English teacher and all, I hardly read these days. I have to read so many papers by students and read the content I’m teaching as a refresher that it hardly leaves time for joy reading, so I haven’t done much of that since I was an undergrad. I’ve read a huge amount, but a lot of it was classics and poetry in grad school lol. Not exactly fun reading recs. I’m very boring in that my favorite book is tied between The Deathly Hallows, the Great Gatsby, and Jane Eyre haha.

But I have found some fun things over the last few years and since you didn’t specify a genre I’ll just share a little sprinkle of everything :P

Ok so I have to start with what I’m reading right now which is the 

The Shadow and Bone Trilogy by Leigh Bardugo. 

I hardly ever read YA lit and actually haven’t read any since The Hunger Games years ago, but I had seen a few people I follow talking about the Grishaverse so I decided to pick up her first trilogy. She’s got a trilogy of books called the Shadow and Bone trilogy (I’m on book two right now, and I’m OBSESSED ok???) and a duology called the Six of Crows duology (which is, fwiw, much more famous than the trilogy? But I’m going to finish the trilogy first) and a second duology in progress right now called King of Scars. They’re basically YA romance and adventure in this awesome fantasy universe she’s created. I don’t want to spoil anything else so you’ll just have to read them. And please do, so we can freak out together haha. I recommended these to my best friend who sadly moved to New York a year and a half ago, and she has been loving them and we chat about them on skype :) The first book is here. Start now! Because they’re developing a Netflix series based on her work, which would be a fun new fandom for a lot of us to dabble in to fill the void after GoT ends.

Anyway, here are some more recs.

Romance (by far my favorite genre but I can never find things I really enjoy these days so the list is short. I usually satisfy my romance cravings with fanfic haha):

The Hating Game by Sally Thorne – probably my favorite modern romance ever. This book is GOOD SHIT.

Asking for Trouble by Elizabeth Young – cute and funny, basis for the movie The Wedding Date that made me fall in love with Dermot Mulroney.

Paris for One by Jojo Moyes – a very quick and kinda forgettable read but I read it on the plane on the way to Paris with my husband for our honeymoon so it will always be special to me I guess haha. It is sweet and simple, a quick and happy book.

Sci-Fi:

The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula LeGuin – LeGuin is a goddess and this book changed my life and how I view so much about gender and society and just… everything. Read it.

Dawn by Octavia Butler – been about ten years since I read this one but it’s always left an impression on me. 

Altered Carbon by Richard K. Morgan – classic cyberpunk. A little slow and admittedly I only picked it up because I enjoyed the Netflix series so much but the premise is really cool, I love the character of Kovacs, and Morgan’s weird style eventually pulls you in.

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? – again, this is an obvious inclusion, but this book has so much more humor than Blade Runner and is a really fun and quick read that I’ve always enjoyed.

The Forever War by Joe Haldeman – a military sci fi that’s an allegory for the Vietnam War. It’s written by a Vietnam vet in the early 70s and there is some casual homophobia at times that I don’t appreciate. But I read this in college as part of our assigned reading in an SF class and I really enjoyed it because the speculation and possibilities it presents are frighteningly real and the romance between William and Marygay is really sweet. It’s a good story and very memorable.

Neuromancer by William Gibson –the quintessential cyber punk novel. Gritty and grimdark but always fun. Again, I’m a little squicked by the way the dude writes women sometimes but my love for the genre keeps me going.

Other:

The Alienist by Caleb Carr – a truly fucked up murder mystery that was interesting from beginning to end. I haven’t seen the TV adaptation yet but I’ve got high hopes. 

The Woman on the Train by Paula Hawkins – again, a murder mystery, and again, I haven’t seen the adaptation haha. But I can honestly say the book is the most engrossing mystery I’ve ever read and I devoured it in one sitting. 

Bossypants by Tina Fey – nonfiction humor for when I’m feeling down :)

Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh – more nonfiction humor, but this time in comic form! Brosh’s web comic was hugely famous before she published it in book format, and for good reason. This book is so great and I can’t recommend it highly enough. It’s so funny and endearing and real and I just love her. 

My Favorite Thing is Monsters by Emil Ferris – while we’re on the subject of comics, I teach a class on graphic novels and memoirs so I’m a big fan of them. My best recent find is this book by Emil Ferris. The entire thing is drawn in a spiral notebook with ballpoint pen, a really unique style. It’s a great story–a murder mystery told by a little girl who loves monster comics and classic horror movies, and imagines herself as a werewolf detective solving her upstairs neighbor’s murder. But it’s set in Chicago in the 60s, so there is a backdrop of post-war drama, civil rights tensions, and more. It’s really amazing. 

Fun Home by Alison Bechdel – I was talking about this one the other day. A really moving graphic memoir, basically a lesbian coming-of-age story. It’s so beautifully written, and since Bechdel’s parents were both English teachers it’s rich with literary allusion and gorgeous language. Definitely a tear-jerker, but also surprisingly funny. 

Anyway, I’m really sorry if this isn’t what you were looking for but if you can find even one thing you liked on this list (and if you can hurry up and read the Grishaverse lol) I’ll be happy :)

[simblrbreezycakes]

i was tagged by @chippedcupanddustybooks sweet bb. i am tagging @irrelephantsims @magnoliidae @simplymelaninated and anyone who hasn’t been tagged i swear i feel like the last person doing this LOL. heckin long ass questionnaire under the cut.

1. What is your full name? Brianna Leigh [Redacted] 2. What is your nickname? Breezy 3. Birthday? may 4th 4. What is your favorite book series? hmmmm series? idk.... i really like every single john grisham book and they aren’t related but when you have such a niche brand of book i feel like it counts lol.  5. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? kinda on both. 6. Who is your favorite author? oh whew. tough one right here. idk man, i have a few? but if i had to choose i guezz i would say george orwell.   7. What is your favorite radio station? who tf listens to the radio like det anymore lmfao. i don’t have one. before i listened to 107.1 in memphis in the car sometimes, but i moved so. 8. What is your favorite flavor of anything? i loveeee pineapple anything. 9. What word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful? lit 10. What is your current favorite song? currently really into pink in the night by mitski and also sicko mode by travis scott.

11. What is your favorite word? good ole fuck(in/ed/etc.) i also really like voluptuous and bubbles. 12. What was the last song you listened to? last thing i listened to was another lifetime x nao.  13. What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch? absolutely check out the good place. also hilda, the dragon prince, she-ra princess of power, criminal minds, law and order (the original), and snapped. 14. What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? i used to watch the notebook religiously when it rained/felt upset like shit. but lately i’ve been watching say yes to the dress to combat my depression lol. 15. Do you play video games? yah 16. What is your biggest fear? dying alone and no one finding me. like literally alone not like meta alone “oh no one loves me” like dead ass alone somewhere isolated. 17. What is your best quality, in your opinion? hmmmmm idk that i care a lot about other people? 18. What is your worst quality, in your opinion? all of them lmfao. i’m annoying, i’m physically unattractive, i talk too damn much, i can be kind of a bitch both intentionally and unintentionally, i’m a trash writer, i can be selfish, and i self depreciate a lot (lol see above response “all of them”) and i’m sure that gets on people who love and care about me’s nerves ((but like....i mean it lmfao)) 19. Do you like cats or dogs better? whew tough. prolly cats though.  20. What is your favorite season? winter followed by a tie between spring and fall.  21. Are you in a relationship? nah lmfao.  22. What is something you miss from your childhood? not being so fuckin ugly and depressed lmfao. 23. Who is your best friend? “my person” as greys anatomy stans would say is ivy lynn [redacted] [redacted] but i also wanna shout out my home girl mary (i know you follow me on here), my home girl christina (also follows me on here but she never checks her simblr anymore), my smoothie gang bitches, my NSA bitches (which includes both ivy and mary lmfao), and my memphis as fuck family. honorable mention to loml [redacted] who is skating on thin fucking ice with me right now lmfao. 24. What is your eye color? brown 25. What is your hair color? brown 26. Who is someone you love? don’t make me answer this tumblr gods. 27. Who is someone you trust? all my best friends, my parents, my brother. 28. Who is someone you think about often? fucking murder me @ this question lmfao. my friend kate (RIP) my grandmother grannypeg (RIP) and [redacted] 29. Are you currently excited about/for something? i’m excited to spend christmas in a new country! forging new traditions and all that. 30. What is your biggest obsession? currently i’m obsessed with wedding stuff and mens fashion and how mens fashion such as suits translates into womens fashion. we love a hot lady in a tailored suit amiright? 31. What was your favorite TV show as a child? spongebob squarepants RIP :”( 32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? [redacted] 33. Are you superstitious? kinda i guess? not really about stuff like stepping on cracks breaking mamas’ backs or opening umbrellas indoors but little things about familial traditions. 34. Do you have any unusual phobias? not really a phobia but i have misophonia. i also hate eye shit. like eye violence or anything fuckin around with eyes is a big no from me dawg. 35. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? absolutely behind the camera. i used to be a theater kid so like being on stage i don’t mind but when it comes to the spotlight and being filmed??? no no no no no. lemme be a cinnamontawgrowfur all day.  36. What is your favorite hobby? watching movies, playing skyrim (I MISS IT SO MUCH), reading, watching music videos, modern calligraphy/hand lettering, baking (ALSO MISS IT MUCH) 37. What was the last book you read? lol a textbook about developing countries.

38. What was the last movie you watched? i just rewatched the swan princess the other day but in terms of watching something brand new i think it was this tom cruise movie my friend showed us and i thought she said someone else ( i don’t remember now. maybe tom hanks?) it was pretty good he was irish or sum with nicole kidman and they came to the united states and pretended to be siblings but the sexual tension was so fucking high dawg. 

39. What musical instruments do you play, if any? nothing i’m wack and a disappointment to my musically gifted family (my dad and brother)  40. What is your favorite animal?  polar bears followed by giraffes. 41. What are your top 5 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow? i’m gonna go with my main tumblr because ion wanna hurt nobody’s feelings but i follow a celebs of color page i really love, a fashion page i really love, and a few artists i really love. 42. What superpower do you wish you had? teleportation or shape shifting.  43. When and where do you feel most at peace?  i feel most at peace when it is raining and i’m in my room, everything is clean and tidy, candles are lit, i have nothing to do so the world is my oyster, i have a nice cup of coffee or hot cocoa or tea, and i just am v i b i n g.  44. What makes you smile? seeing my friends, my brother (when he isn’t pissing me off), funny videos of red dead people falling off their horse in cinematic mode, pretty flowers, cute art, round birds. 45. What sports do you play, if any? i don’t lmfao. 46. What is your favorite drink? honestly a frozen margarita no salt. 47. When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody? a month ago.  48. Are you afraid of heights? absolutely. 49. What is your biggest pet peeve? people chewing with their mouths open and people talking to me like i’m incompetent/assuming i don’t know anything about what they’re trying to talk to me about especially if it is my area of expertise lol. 50. Have you ever been to a concert? hail yeah. many. 51. Are you vegan/vegetarian? nope! 52. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? honestly i don’t know but i have a distinct memory of a bunch of girls in my second grade, yours truly included, wanting to be strippers. and i don’t know why or how this came up or if we even truly knew what stripping meant but. yeah. OH i guess around the time i was in 4th/5th grade i started wanting to be a harvard law graduate and be a lawyer but i gave that up in like high school and then bounced being a lawyer back and forth in my noggin up until i applied for grad school. shout out to my mary for doing it though.  53. What fictional world would you like to live in? hmmmm idk. none of em really. 54. What is something you worry about? if i made the right decision(s) in life lol.  55. Are you scared of the dark? not really.  56. Do you like to sing? yeah i do! doesn’t mean i’m good at it though haha. 57. Have you ever skipped school? yeah lmfao. 58. What is your favorite place on the planet? i miss Rwanda a lot. but honestly my favorite place is wherever the people i love are. my family loves to travel so whenever i’m with someone i love sharing an experience? i’m in heaven. 59. Where would you like to live? idk anywhere i guess. somewhere it is mostly cold most of the time though haha. 60. Do you have any pets? my bb boi fred lives with my dad and my mom has a dog and 2 cats. we used to have 3 but one of em ran away when she moved to her house, we caught him, he ran away again. oh whale. 61. Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? oh a big time night owl. big time. 62. Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? honestly i like sunrises better but i am never awake to catch em hahah. 63. Do you know how to drive? yah and i fuckin love doing it. 64. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? i prefer headphones. like really quality ones too. but i tend to use earbuds more often because i don’t need quality while im working out or going to class just easy grab and go. 65. Have you ever had braces? nope but i used to want some so bad. 66. What is your favorite genre of music? i love rap, dream-y pop music and dream-y rap music, i love 80s music. all 80s music really lmfao.  67. Who is your hero? mi mum and mi dad. also viola davis queen of inventing acting and every single color in the rainbow. 68. Do you read comic books? kind of. i was trying to build up a collection before i moved but i only had my BP comics. 69. What makes you the most angry? injustice and offensive ass content and behaviors. also don’t fuck with my friends. i got two dudes on my shit list right now that it is *on sight* if i ever see them again. 70. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? a real book all the way. idk what it is about digital reading my brain shuts the fuck down. i am super fast reader but the second i try and read something digitally it takes me maybe like 10-15 min to get through just a few sentences. 71. What is your favorite subject in school? history lol i was a history major. 72. Do you have any siblings? yeah my chicken nugget puppy brother dylan. asshole. 73. What was the last thing you bought? some historical romance i think? it’s in dutch so idrk.  74. How tall are you? 5′7 i think. 75. Can you cook? yeah i love cooking but saddly don’t do much of it. 76. What are three things that you love? my teddy bear my momma got me for valentines day, my st. agatha figurine, and my yikes tapestry mary got me. i realize now after reading the next question you probably meant like shit in general so. the smell of a fresh cup of coffee, snuggly warm sweaters, postcards and tiny gifts from friends. you know the ones “i just got this for you because i thought you’d like it” 77. What are three things that you hate? funky ass attitudes, the smell and feel of lavender oil, corn. 78. Do you have more female friends or more male friends? female 79. What is your sexual orientation? i’m a big ole heterosexual. sorry to disappoint :/  80. Where do you currently live? the netherlands. 81. Who was the last person you texted? my friend and former roommate. today is her birthday. 82. When was the last time you cried? like an hour ago lmfao. 83. Who is your favorite YouTuber? i don’t have one haha. vevo i guess. 84. Do you like to take selfies? do i like taking them? not really. it takes me too damn long to get one that looks good enough. i like sending stupid selfies to friends though. 85. What is your favorite app? i use twitter probably the most but my favorite app is my spider solitaire game haha. 86. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? we are very close. i would say both of my parents are my biggest supporters and cheerleaders but how they do that looks a bit different. my mom and i are very similar but sometimes how we handle certain things is very different so we can be the best of friends one day and the completely butt heads the next. 87. What is your favorite foreign accent? i loovveeeee a scottish accent and an irish accent. also tbrh i love a good southern boy drawl. like idk if i could play for you all the way this one dude who works with my mom talks? i would because i wanna bottle it and listen to it whenever i feel bad. 88. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? i would really like to go to norway for my birthday. 89. What is your favorite number? i don’t have one. 90. Can you juggle? nope but i did try and learn i have a video of it somewhere lmfao. 91. Are you religious? kind of. i’m more spiritual than religious and lowkey hate saying that because it sounds so hoitietoitie but it’s true. 92. Do you find outer space or the deep ocean to be more interesting? the ocean. so much of it we haven’t explored. thinking about space makes me feel existential and dead inside.  93. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? nah haha 94. Are you allergic to anything? yeah i’m supposed to take one claritin a day but like i don’t. 95. Can you curl your tongue? yeah 96. Can you wiggle your ears? nope :(  97. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? i’ll admit i’m wrong if i’m actually wrong but you’re gonna have to a helluva lot of convincing to get me there lmfao. though if my being “wrong” has caused harm to someone else i’ll apologize quicker than lightning because the last thing i would want is for my stubbornness to hurt someone i love. 98. Do you prefer the forest or the beach? um the mountains 99. What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? "never turn down a date. you never know who you might meet while you’re out” -my grandmother to my mother to me. 100. Are you a good liar? lmfaooooo i am a reformed liar. 101. What is your Hogwarts House? HUFFLEPUFF BAYBEEE 102. Do you talk to yourself? yah 103. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? an introvert. i may be loud and talkative sis but i promise you i’m over compensating because i want you to like me lmfao. 104. Do you keep a journal/diary? i have a private twitter does that count. 105. Do you believe in second chances? depends. 106. If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do?imma keep it real with you chief i would keeps the money lmfao. in the past i would’ve tried to return it to the owner but i am big broke bois with a lot of unexpected expenses coming up so like... yeah lmfao. we keepin that coint. 107. Do you believe that people are capable of change? sometimes. 108. Are you ticklish? yes lmfao 109. Have you ever been on a plane? yeah! 110. Do you have any piercings? yah i got my lobes pierced one on each ear, my nose, and a cartilage piercing. 111. What fictional character do you wish was real? my girl nancy drew. 112. Do you have any tattoos? yeah i got 2 of em. 113. What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? idk lmfao. probably when i applied for cityterm and when i appled to go back to undergrad. 114. Do you believe in karma? Yeah but not in a “oh you hurt me? you’re gonna get your come uppins” way but in a every action affects your soul and your being kinda way.  115. Do you wear glasses or contacts? im supposed to wear glasses but ask me if im wearing em right now lmfao. 116. Do you want children? presently i don’t see myself wanting or having kids but i want to foster. 117. Who is the smartest person you know? my friends lol. 118. What is your most embarrassing memory? literally every single memory has a tinge of embarassment lol. but probz when i walked into the cafeteria my first day of highschool as a smol freshman and my knees locked up and i fell forward and my giant ass backpack (because i never used my locker ever in any grade) wrapped around my neck and had me stuck in a strange position in the middle of the parting of the tables in the cafeteria.  119. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? hell yeah lmfao. 120. What color are most of you clothes? blue or black 121. Do you like adventures? yeah! 122. Have you ever been on TV? yeah but like on the news and shit. 123. How old are you? 24 124. What is your favorite quote? i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart) 125. Do you prefer sweet or savory foods? OOF TOUGH BUT UHHH probz sweet. 

[written-rebellion]

Perfect Distractions

A/N: @ all the people who were worried Jamie would be all aimless and depressed on campus, y'all know what’s up LOL

Jamie is feeling the weight of it all, Claire hasn’t called in weeks, and as always, all the facts of this fanfic are contrived specifically to make fluffy university/modern-day au scenarios. Please let me know what you think!

Part One: [Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] | Part Two: [Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4] | Part Three: [Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] | Part Four: [Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] | Part Five: [Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4] | Part Six: [Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] | Part Seven: [Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] | Part Eight: [Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4] | Part Nine: [Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4] | Part Ten: [Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] | Part Eleven: [Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] |

Part Twelve: Message Received | Chapter 1

Slim fingers were skimming down his bare arm as tuneless humming pulled him slowly out of sleep.

“Sassenach?”

He was answered by tiny butterfly kisses brushing against his nape and between his shoulder blades. He shivered pleasantly, turning to meet his favourite shade of whisky.

“Hi,” she said softly, nudging his nose with hers.

“Mo chridhe,” he whispered, cupping her cheek before pulling her lips to his.

He couldn’t place the feeling – not that he ever could with any great certainty – but something desperate inside had him pressing his fingers into her skin, lips recklessly insisting against hers.

“What's the matter, love?” She was giggling. “Have any big plans today?”

“Hmm?” He pulled away to look at her, finally taking in the space around them.

“This isn’t yer room…”

She narrowed her eyes at him.

“No, of course not.”

“This is—”

And just as the familiar scent of Lallybroch wafted past him, he woke up.

In his dorm room.

Alone.

“Go to class,” John ordered from somewhere nearby.

Well, nearly alone.

“Aye, ye dinna need to keep remindin’ me,” Jamie groaned, pushing his face into the pillow.

“Yes I do,” John called as he shut the door behind him.

Jamie stayed pressed into his bed a moment longer, trying to draw Dream-Claire back to him. But like John, she was gone for the day.

He reached for his phone on the nightstand, arm heavy and reluctant from sleep. 

 >          Morning,

 >          Or, good night in yer case.

He waited for the small notification telling him the messages were delivered, but – like the last 20 or so he'd sent in the past few weeks – it never came.

She was in the thick of it now, he knew. She and Joe had spent a few days in Manila to acclimate themselves before driving to rural areas in a province called Cavite. Wherever they were, cell service was sparse or she was busy, but likely both. She’d spend most of the 6 weeks there and Jamie was feeling the weight of it all.

He hadn’t heard her voice or seen her face, save in pictures, for weeks.

But that didn’t stop him from texting her, a far cry from his attempt at not seeming too eager early in their courtship. Those blank little circles mocked him, telling him no – no matter how much he wished – she  hadn’t seen any of his messages.

He knew her well enough to expect more exasperation than apology when all 28 messages finally reached her. She’d roll her eyes at him, tease him about the sheer neediness of it all, and he was certain some sort of dog metaphor would be used.

But it didn’t matter what she said.

He just needed to see her.

By evening time, 28 had turned to 31. But only because the diner they had their first date in finally updated their beer selection and Jamie was sure she would want to know that.

“James Fraser, ye truly are a mess.” He sighed, running a tired hand down his face as he walked back to the dorms.

His ringtone barely made it through two notes before it was squashed against his ear.

“Claire?!”

“Ah, so she hasn’t called then,” Jenny’s pointed voice said through the phone.

“Nay,” Jamie said, matching her tone.

“And neither have you, brother.”

“What?”

“Ye haven’t called in weeks either.”

“Well, ye can imagine I’d rather keep this line open, ye ken?”

“Ye’re actin’ like a child, Jamie.” Never a spoonful of sugar type of person, his sister. “What would Claire say if she saw ye moping about like ye are.”

“Ye dinna ken I’m moping about!”

“Oh aye, I do. Ye like to think ye can hide whatever ye’re feeling but I’m no’ Claire. I can hear yer heart in yer voice alone.”

He made a grunting noise and Jenny sighed.

“This is her job aye? This is what she’s wanted to do since before she met ye.”

“I know! I just mi—"

“Miss her, I ken. But ye love her, no?”

Jamie blinked.

“O-of course.”

“And ye plan on spending yer life wi’ her?”

His face burned. Always trust a Fraser not to pull punches.

“...aye.”

“Then what’s a few weeks ye wee fool?! The world kens she’s just as mad about ye as ye are for her. She’ll come back to ye so just suck it up and wait.”

He was silent long enough for any other person to think he’d hung up, but not Jenny.

Then he chuckled.

“Ye’re quite enjoying my plight, aren’t ye?”

“I dinna ken what ye mean, dear brother.” Her voice was laced with a smile.

“Verra well, Jenny,” he said. “But if I can wait on Claire to call, surely ye can wait on mine, no?”

“No,” she said before hanging up.

Jamie shook his head and – though he thought against it – opened up his and Claire’s message history.

 >          I expect ye’ll be overwhelmed by the messages when ye get them. Apologies, lass. But, if ye read any at all, I hope it's this one. I love ye, and I’m proud of ye. I miss ye, aye, but I’ll be waiting right here for ye when ye return.

He nodded, resolved, and was about to slide his phone into his pocket when—

One by one, the checkmarks in the corner of his messages lit up and turned blue.

“Claire...?”

She was reading them.

Then, below what had essentially been his diary for the past few weeks, three tiny dots bubbled up.

He held his breath, waiting – as he had been for weeks – on her reply.

Read Chapter 2

[anghraine]

please ignore if this is too nosy or anything, but I hope you tell us fun things about the new people you meet or new stuff you do!

Not too nosy! I mean, part of the reason I’ve been so quiet is that I have to be very careful about what I say—I quickly realized that a lot of what I could say would instantly identify me, or at least make it possible for a, uh, sufficiently interested party to identify me. 

(I love you all, but not that much. :P)

So far, I’m mostly going to classes (several of which are required for my TAship, but they’ve waived all my tuition, so~) and figuring out where everything is. The campus is huge, but my classes and my office and my department are all in the same building, so there’s not much inherent exploration going on. Unless you’re on the hunt for a decent egg sandwich or just generally haven’t eaten for eight hours, not that I’m counting. (I’ve completely stopped concerning myself with losing weight. There is zero possibility of not.)

I’m taking a class involving law right now—I didn’t expect that at all!—and our prof is really, really good. I mean, he’s interesting and engaging in his own right, and gets all of us talking very earnestly and intensely with each other more than him. It’s this mix of people in literature and people in rhetoric/composition, MA and PhD students, people in Asian-American studies, queer studies, post-colonialist studies, education, some in early modern and eighteenth century (my people), etc, and all with different ages, backgrounds, etc coming at one subject from completely different angles. So, say, I ended up talking with someone in the teaching program about a Renaissance drama I’m very fond of and they wanted more info about (Webster’s The White Devil, for the curious!).

And today, the person next to me was talking about immigration law and I was talking about the nineteenth-century debates over marrying your dead wife’s sister and there are just all sorts of things. And we all know what we’re talking about, so you don’t get one person dominating everything, just the thing that person happens to specialize in. It sounds sort of generic, but I’ve spent a lot of time being the odd one out, and I was definitely hoping for a more give-and-take environment. Which it is! It’s very cool to actually be learning things I didn’t know, while also being respected for what I do.

Also, it’s super liberal, which is nice! People talk about Trump all the time while refusing to use his name, lol—in my theory class, one guy was just using family who voted for him as an example of something different, and was like “so I’m trying to talk about why they voted for ... *looks around awkwardly* Homeboy” and that became the official shorthand. I’m also tentatively looking forward to it—the prof was genuinely thrilled when I said that I actually don’t care for a lot of critical theory bc much of what I’d read prioritized theory over text and generally over-applied it IMO, but wanted to give it a fair shot (...she asked). And having complicated feelings is usually good in this sort of environment, as long as they are complicated and not just YAY or simple antipathy.

(I am free from the tyranny of American poetry foreverrrr)

Oh, and a lot of the time, grad students can be pretty cutthroat with each other, but so far everyone is very nice and mutually supportive. It’s kind of ... okay, we’re in this together, DIVIDED WE FALL. And there are three other people from the university where I got my MA! (different campuses, but still). Still, there’s more—I don’t want to say opposition, or conflict, but much more different priorities than I expected. Those of us in PhD Lit are always excited to see one another, just because we’re stuck in so many rhetoric classes with rhetoric people this semester, and it’s important to Bridge The Gap but also... *sigh*. Even with the MA lit people, it’s like HAIL, FRIEND!! 

Anyway! Things are going well so far, except the only tea I can get is a shitty Starbucks, and I have to go to the furthest one to get my campus discount. It’s probably a broadening experience.

...Also, my office mate has a map of Eregion on the wall. :D

[thefuschiafiles]

Street Art + Food: Cartagena Edition

Visiting the city of Cartagena in Colombia is like taking a plunge in the waters of history and resurfacing to find a refreshing new view on life and the world. Here I share with you the street art and food found through the magical streets of Cartagena- a place full of wonder, deep history, and a past that shapes its modern trials. 

After a full day of art and food immersion, striking a pose! Bright colors and sandals to mix with the Cartagena hot summer heat. Don't be afraid to go BOLD while on vacation. My travel bae + partner in crime Cille is rocking a pink jumpsuit, while I opted for an orange hued sundress. 

The Getsemani neighborhood of Cartagena represents the city’s first freed African residents. After the crush of the Spanish, Cartagena slowly began its turn into a normal life. Getsemani represented freedom from bondage by its early settlers and soon became a working-poor neighborhood full of families and all who chose Cartagena as a home. Fast-forward to today and Getsemani continues to reinvent itself. Fighting displacement and gentrification, it's ever-defiant residents are exploring creative protests to the changing demographics of their beloved neighborhood. Through the political messages of its art, Getsemani pays homage to the African influences of its colonial era and continues to pour its heart and soul into shaping Cartagena’s history through art and storytelling.

We stumbled upon this beautiful mural and went for it! Being two natural chicks with a love for afros, we really connected to this piece! Cille is wearing a light denim dress and short white sneakers, while I went for a cas' look with sandals + denim and vintage tee. 

Nothing better than a romantic, candlelit dinner with your best friend! LOL. Cille got the whole scarf look down on this vacay, and she decided to throw it up around her neck to help complete her look. Don't be afraid to be edgy and experiment. Silk scarves can be such a versatile accessory for your hair, and in this case to add shock-factor to your look. 

Juan Del Mar was recommended to us by an enthusiastic and friendly Uber driver. Me, being the forever skeptic, decided to go with the flow and give it a go. We arrived to find a pleasantly lit al fresco restaurant. We were instantly in love with its romantic ambiance, live ballad music playing by a solo performer, and impeccable service by the staff. We decided to go with a bang and ordered their famous Pargo al Caribe (Caribbean Snapper). What came next was an array of flavors that took us OWT! The fish was fresh, with a hint of lime. The arroz con coco (coconut rice) is a staple in Colombia, and hit so well with the zest of the fish. In all, I highly recommend you visit this gem. The restaurant is located in the Ciudad Amurallada (The Walled City).

Quick Tip: Always add a statement piece! In this case, make it two! A wrap blouse + red stunner necklace had me feeling godly while exploring Cartagena. 

This street art is found in the Getsemani neighborhood of Cartagena. The artist is unknown. The message once viewed closely features fish swimming, and interlocked by plastic rings similar to those we find from a six-pack can of soda. My loose interpretation automatically geared towards our environmental challenges, and how our responsibility with nature is colliding with our use of materials such as plastic that are harming our ecosystem. Deep AF!

You can just see the food orgasm on my face! I’m a huge fan of Anthony Bourdain and his travel and food show on CNN "Parts Unknown". Needless to say, when we had the chance to visit a restaurant in Cartagena which had his cosign, we jumped on it!

La Cevicheria is known for its fresh ceviche, a seafood dish popular in Latin America. We arrived on a hot day after touring the city and sat to enjoy a meal al fresco with a cold beer. To my surprise, the waiter recommended the Peruvian ceviche claiming it to be their best option from any of the local Colombian ceviche dishes. His recommendation did not disappoint! Served with guac-filled tostones and maize, the Peruvian ceviche was tangy, fresh and so filling!

Sidenote: Having long braids during this trip was really a lifesaver! It was 90+ degrees each day and not having to fuss with my curls really saved me. I added some gold accessories to make my braids pop a bit more, and it really brought out my full look. 

This mural represents the current battle with gentrification and displacement that the residents of the neighborhood of Getsemani are facing. In this depiction, a mullatto woman holds on to a candle with an image of a home- the representation of freedom for many of the early Afro-Colombian settlers in Cartagena. 

 With Cartagena continuing to attract foreign investment and more foreign influences to the region, working-class neighborhoods like Getsemani are changing at an ever growing pace. Unfortunately, for working-class families and individuals residing in the neighborhood, high costs have not equated to higher wages. Struggling to hold on to their identity, Cartagena artists have chosen art as an outlet to depict their stories and continuous battle to remain housed.

Alquimico is located within the famous walls of the city. With its collection of infused rums and open deck rooftop, Alquimico is a must-visit in Cartagena. We enjoyed cocktails made from Passion fruit-infused rum and local Colombian bites: munuelos (crunchy corn balls filled with cheese), arepas (a Colombian favorite with fried egg and pork inside) and meatballs with maize. Yum!

All in all, Cartagena filled my days with art, culture and world history. I could not have imagined a more fulfilling trip. I came back feeling refreshed and replenished from my travels, and I recommend to put this beautiful city on your bucket list! What city in your travels stole your heart? 

Leave us a comment below and share with us! 

Photos: Taken with Iphone 7 Plus (My dear ole faithful Canon died halfway through our trip!) All Original Content. 

About writer: Beya J. is a city planner, interested in travel, writing + urban settings. Through her travels, Beya has been able to explore and participate in extensive cultural immersions to learn more about world religions, politics and music.

Instagram: @plump_lips

#latinaontherise

[rgr-pop]

Miserable impossible sleep all late last night and this morning, up and down. I got up to do a bit more reading at five or something, on maybe only two hours of sleep. I had breakfast with Lucas and tried to go back to bed, exhausted, kept waking up. In that space, in bed, on my iPad, I had a moment of inspiration and I drafted up the most cogent outline I’ve had to date??? Now I have a very concrete plan of action???

This project revision suffers most from 1) I let it sit half finished for a long ass time, even though it was consistently on my mind all these years 2) I am doing it on my own right now, and 

3) like most undergraduate research papers, I started with an idea about a historical event that I wanted to explore, without having a lot of experience in the literature, rather than beginning with an intervention into the lit. I think of this work as having three (overlapping) lit fields. The first two I had some depth of familiarity with when I started this project, and was able to catch up on pretty quickly--the history of home economics in the context of land grant higher ed and women’s education, and the history of cold war west africa and decolonizing nigeria. 

The third field of literature was the (very rough) subject of the course in which I originally proposed this project, which is the history of development, social science and modernization theory. This was the class, if you recall, where I was first like, “me? geopolitics?” I got a pretty decent background in that class, the professor taught from Latham’s Modernization as Ideology, which is still the main secondary work I’m relying on. But this field is huge huge huge and even though I came in with a general comfort with sixties America I have done sooooo much work catching up. And I still have pretty much no idea what I’m talking about. Even “development” as a field is a giant, divergent, conflicted, lumpy thing--and here I am, years later, wrestling with “US and the World.” But it is also the huge history of global higher ed, and of transnational cold war politics. I have felt like I was swimming! And all alone.

I still doooo not feel prepared in this field to the extend that this could become much more than an undergrad capstone project but I feel a lot better. Part of this is just reading a lot of Frederick Cooper’s works--which I have to do because he supervised a good third of the early career scholars in America that I am interested in eventually working with, lol. None of his books support this project directly but the way that he frames, again, Africa in the World as a field of contemporary political critique has been soooooo clarifying to me!

The thing about the outline is that I was having a really difficult time nesting these areas into a narrative, and now I feel like I have done that, and a very big obstacle has been overcome :3

[yo-looksomeoneactually]

Alright, I was tagged by @prettymucheverythingforrealsies , thanks bro, I really like doing these things!

Rules: Answer all the questions, add one question of your own at the end, and then tag people.

Coke or Pepsi? Don’t really like soda cause of the bubbles, but if I had to choose, I would go with Coke. 

Disney or Dreamworks? Disney. 

Coffee or tea? Really not a huge fan of either, but I like iced lemon tea. 

Books or movies? Movies. 

Windows or Mac? Mac. 

DC or Marvel? I’m more of a marvel gal.

XBox or Playstation? XBox, but the only gaming device I have is a Wii lol. 

Dragon Age or Mass Effect? Haven’t played either :) 

Night owl or early riser? Early riser. 

Cards or chess? Cards.

Chocolate or vanilla? Depends. If it’s cake, then vanilla, but if it’s ice cream, then chocolate. 

Vans or Converse? CONVERSE. 

Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash? I don’t know what this means lol :)

Paragon or Renegade? I don’t know what y’all are asking :)

Star Wars or Star Trek? Star Wars, but I should try and get into Star Trek. 

One episode per week or binge watch? Binge watch if at all possible. 

Gandalf or Obi Wan? Gandalf. 

Heroes or villains? Heroes. John Williams or Hans Zimmer? John Williams 

Disneyland/world or Six flags? I don’t know, I like them both!!

Forest or sea? Forests, the sea has sand and stuff. 

Flying or reading minds? Flying, if wings if possible 

Twin Peaks or Northern Exposure? Haven’t seen either, but I have at least heard of Twin Peaks. 

Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings? Harry Potter, only cause I read the books, but I love both of their movies. 

You’re banished to a deserted island, which Benedict Cumberbatch character would you choose to take with you? Probably Sherlock, cause he would be able to to figure out how to leave. 

Train or cruise ship? I LIKE TRAINS!!! (yep that was an asdf movie reference, don’t judge me)

Brian Cox or Neil DeGrasse Tyson? Neil DeGrasse Tyson is a cool guy. 

Art museum or science museum? Depends on the exhibits. 

Irish pub or night club? Irish Pub. Night clubs are probably really loud and less fun.  

Aang or Korra? Aang, but I really like Korra too.

Swimming in a pool or lake? Pool, lakes have plants and fish and crap in them. 

Classical music or classical literature? Probably music, calssical lit. is hard to read. 

Oxford comma or no Oxford comma? I usually don’t use them. 

Digital or paper books? Paper books, I love holding a book in my hand and not reading off of a screen.  

Rainy days or sunny days? Rainy, especially with thunder and lightning. 

Fantasy or science fiction? More of a fantasy gal, but science fiction is really good too. 

Poetry or prose? Both are good, depending on the work its used in. 

Music or lyrics? Music, but it can be fun to know the lyrics. 

Kissing or cuddling? I haven’t really kissed anyone before, but I do like hugs. 

Dancing or movies for date night? Movies, dancing is hard to do in front of someone you like. 

Sea or space? Space, there is just so much out there, but the ocean is cool too. 

MBTI or zodiac? Zodiac is more fun. 

Netflix or YouTube? Both are good, but Imma go with netflix. 

Plushies or pets? I like both.

Pizza or nachos? Pizza, nachos are a little overrated tbh. 

If you could speak to one person from history and tell them everything you know about the modern day, who would it be? Maybe an older President, like Abe Lincoln, or maybe Amelia Earhart.   If you could become fluent in a language right now, what would you pick? Chinese, cause I’m taking it now, so the class would be really easy lol. 

Favorite Mythical Creature? Phoenix, they are super cool.  

Vampires or Werewolves? I in all honesty don’t care, both are fine. 

I tag: @shamelessly-anonymous @killurself @intrusivethot @hiddlesvenger @mxsachxn @thatleafyboh @cheshire-noir @joebobtheasian @dinocorday @the-noodles-say-toodles @keeper-of-the-grotto

[chaandki]

“So regardless of its official diagnostic classification, we propose that romantic love should be considered as an addiction ” (Fisher, Xu, Aaron & Brown 2016)

more information under the cut 

so oddly enough i was inspired to draw this during my neurobio class lol. we were learning about the different planes of the brain and saw a mid sagittal view of the brain via fMRI. i thought it looked so cool that i wanted to recreate it! i figured the best way to capture this was to draw the brain while under the influence of an emotion. naturally as a dnp artist love came to mind lmaooo.

i’m currently getting a degree in bio and psych and i want to eventually get my phd in neuroscience so i kinda dove in deep with the research for this. i knew i wanted to do something involving emotions but finding papers that supported my idea was ridiculously hard. seriously. i’ve been working in a research lab for a year now but nothing could have prepared me for the lit search i was about to go on.

the problem is that a lot of modern science involving the brain during love is either a) fucking pseudoscience or b) in the preliminary stages. luckily i was able to find this TED talk which lead me to read her paper and snowball to other papers and start formulating the idea.

i wanted this to be as scientifically accurate as possible so i read 4 peer reviewed papers to ensure i was choosing the right sections. i was able to verify the two (actually four) sections i highlighted through two papers which honestly was enough for me.

SO ABOUT THE SCIENCE.

okie so what you need to know is that this is a mid sagittal view of the brain via fMRI. so an fMRI basically takes sections of your brain and using the oxygen levels in blood can show regions of the brain that have increased blood flow (indicated by the colors). tbh the colors mean nothing. one of the images from a paper i read had the coloring on the left but i wanted to distinguish between the two so i made them different. the only important thing is that the brighter the color, the more activated the region.

the two sections showing activation are the posterior cingulate cortex (PC) and the anterior cingulate cortex (AC). more specifically, the two areas that are involved are the ventral tegmental area (VTA) and the caudate nucleus. they’re really small sections tho which is why i chose to highlight the areas they’re found in, the PC and AC.  

the VTA and the caudate nucleus are areas involved in pleasure, arousal, attention and seeking rewards BUT they are also associated with addictive behaviors. a lot of the pathways that have been identified in drug addiction involve the aforementioned areas WHICH MEANS according to the study, love can be (and as the author argues, should be) classified as an addictive behavior.

I COULD GO ON but honestly it would stop relating to my drawing. if you’re interested, i would HIGHLY recommend reading the papers i’m linking below. the first two are pretty easy reads and should be good for someone with a basic understanding of science. the other two are a little more dense and get a bit technical at points so read at your discretion. the TED talk is super accessible so def watch that at least. OK THANKS FOR LISTENING BYE.

References 

Easy Article 1, Easy Article 2, Hard Article 1, Hard Article 2 (can’t find a public link, title is Reward, Motivation, and Emotion Systems Associated With Early-Stage Intense Romantic Love written by Arthur Aron)

Aron, A. (2005). Reward, Motivation, and Emotion Systems Associated With Early-Stage Intense Romantic Love. Journal of Neurophysiology,94(1), 327-337. doi:10.1152/jn.00838.2004

Acevedo, B. P., Aron, A., Fisher, H. E., & Brown, L. L. (2011). Neural correlates of long-term intense romantic love. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, 7(2), 145-159. doi:10.1093/scan/nsq092

Bartels, A., & Zeki, S. (2004). The neural correlates of maternal and romantic love. NeuroImage, 21(3), 1155-1166. doi:10.1016/j.neuroimage.2003.11.003

Fisher, H. E., Xu, X., Aron, A., & Brown, L. L. (2016). Intense, Passionate, Romantic Love: A Natural Addiction? How the Fields That Investigate Romance and Substance Abuse Can Inform Each Other. Frontiers in Psychology, 7. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2016.00687

TEDTalks: Helen Fisher–The Brain in Love [Video file]. (2008, July 15). Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYfoGTIG7pY