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omaano · 4 months ago
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“You will be required to do wrong no matter where you go. It is the basic condition of life, to be required to violate your own identity."
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3
For Day 3 - Clone Rebellion of @codex-week with additional inspitation worked in from the alt prompts DO ANDROIDS DREAM OF ELECTRIC SHEEP BY PHILIP K. DICK, and BLUE BIRCH MARSH BY JEF BOURGEAU
Bonded Pair, Do Not Separate - or they might lose their colours
The Alt prompts used here:
DO ANDROIDS DREAM OF ELECTRIC SHEEP BY PHILIP K. DICK
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BLUE BIRCH MARSH BY JEF BOURGEAU
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I saw all these trees and I knew I had to work them into my piece!!!
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alygator77 · 10 months ago
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.ೃ࿐motherhood and matrimony I ch 6 𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪
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ꨄ︎ pairing. au ceo! satoru gojo x single mom secretary fem! reader
ꨄ summary. satoru gojo, the arrogant and irresistible heir to a billion-dollar corporation and the son of your boss, the ceo... but when satoru’s father dies unexpectedly, his inheritance hinges on a stipulation: he must marry and have a child, but the child doesn't necessarily have to be his, right? together, you strike a deal: a fake marriage that promises financial stability for you and corporate control for him. as the lines between business and emotion blur, you must decide if your partnership is purely contractual or if it could evolve into something real.
ꨄ︎ warnings/tags. 18+ MDNI, nsfw, enemies (annoyances) to lovers, opposites attract, fake marriage, marriage of convenience, slow burn, smut, fluff, some angst, reader is single mom who recently broke off her engagement, satoru being a cute step dad, naoya is your crappy ex, triggers of prior domestic abuse (physical intimidation, emotional manipulation, from naoya) » 【note, this chapter contains explicit sexual content (dry humping, grinding)】
ꨄ words: 14.4k
ꨄ a/n. hello my lovelies!! :) life has been a roller coaster to say the least, but i'm so excited to share this chapter with ya'll. i'll see you at the bottom with my thoughts ♡
ꨄ taglist: open (ao3)
♬ playlist
series masterlist ꨄ︎ previous chapter ꨄ︎ next chapter →
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ch 6 // drenched in truth
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The gala was a night that promised perfection, elegance and ease…but the storm on the horizon had other plans for you.
As murmurs of conversation hum throughout the grand ballroom, it’s easy to forget the world outside—that is, until you hear the first distant rumble of thunder.
Before you know it, the once clear starry evening, slowly gives way to ominous clouds gathering the horizon, with the first raindrops of the evening arriving barely noticed beneath the layers of music and chatter—tapping against the expansive windows like an impatient guest requesting entry.
But the gentle taps soon evolve into a steady, insistent drumming, making the rain’s presence impossible to ignore as the water streams down the glass windows in rivulets—distorting the view outside and making the world beyond seem distant and blurred.
It’s getting late…
You subtly glance down at your phone to check the time, and as the screen illuminates, a picture of you and Haru at the park flashes across the display. What a bright and sunny memory—completely different from the now impossible to ignore presence of this unforgiving rain.
As the storm outside grows, your thoughts immediately shift to Haru. Is she okay?
The last time there was such a storm, Haru had been terrified of the thunder—each crack making her small frame shake, eyes filled with tears and voice trembling as she whispered mama, seeking comfort in your embrace.
Is the nanny capable of soothing her?
The sudden concern that she might be scared and inconsolable gnaws at you, making it hard to focus on anything else as you navigate the crowd, exchanging pleasantries with people whose names you’ll forget by morning.
The opulence of the gala, the sparkling chandeliers, the elegant music—it all feels suffocating, a gilded cage keeping you from where you truly need to be. Home. That’s where you should be, holding Haru close, comforting her through the storm, not trapped in this endless sea of strangers and small talk.
You glance at Satoru beside you—a picture of calm, hand resting in his pocket as he engages in light-hearted conversation with a group of guests, smiling and laughing. It’s all so natural, so effortless as their chatter seems to exist in a world far removed from the storm—both outside and within you.
As you stand there, nodding along to the conversation without truly listening, your eyes begin to drift across the room and you notice a few other couples discreetly making their way towards the exit, coats draped over their arms—if only you could do the same.
You find yourself fidgeting with the hem of your dress—you really want to go home.
Glancing up at Satoru again, you wait for a brief lull in his conversation where the chatter dies down just enough for you to discreetly speak to him without interrupting.
Once the opportunity arises with the laughter fading and the conversation shifting to another topic, you seize your moment. Leaning in close to Satoru, your shoulder brushes against his arm as you softly whisper under your breath.
“Hey… it’s getting late and with this storm, maybe we should think about heading out soon?”
Your words are careful, quiet, meant to blend into the background noise of the gala so that no one else notices your request, and Satoru’s gaze flickers to you, his expression softening as he takes in your concern. But then he sighs quietly, his hand gently brushing against your arm, a small gesture of reassurance.
“I know,” he murmurs, “but there’s just one more obligation I have to fulfill for the event—a quick thank-you speech to the sponsors. I promise, we’ll leave right after that.”
He begins to turn back to the conversation, the group’s voices already beginning to rise again, but just as he starts to pull away, a low rumble of thunder reverberates through the room, and your gaze instinctively flickers to the windows, where the rain beats against the glass with increasing ferocity, the relentless sheets of water streaking down like tears.
Without thinking, your hand reaches out, lightly touching Satoru’s arm—a small, almost hesitant gesture. As your fingers brush against the fabric of his sleeve, your subtle plea for his attention makes him pause and turn back towards you, concern flickering in his eyes.
“Satoru…I’m really worried about Haru,” you confess, keeping your voice low to avoid drawing the attention of those around you. “She hates storms… she’s terrified of thunder.”
Before you can say more, he shifts slightly, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you gently into his side. You are met immediately with the warmth of his body, the subtle scent of his cologne and the steady rhythm of his breath. His hand moves in slow, comforting motions up and down your arm, as if trying to transfer some of his calm to you.
He tilts his chin down towards you and he speaks in a low gentle murmur, meant only for you.
“Haru has the nanny. She’s safe. I’ll make sure she’s okay, and this won’t take long—I’ll be quick, I promise.”
His words, paired with the comforting rhythm of his hand, are meant to ease your worries, to reassure you that everything will be alright, but for some reason they land with a dull thud in your chest.
You know Haru has the nanny…but you can’t shake the feeling that it might not be enough for her. You’ve been Haru’s rock throughout everything—Naoya was never there for her, and she hasn’t had anyone else.
“I know, but…” you glance towards the windows again as another rumble of thunder reverberates through the room. “Haru gets so scared. Last time, she cried for hours and couldn’t sleep without me.”
Satoru’s eyes flicker between you and the group of guests nearby, a momentary glance that betrays the tug-of-war happening within him.
“I get it. I do,” his tone is still gentle but with an edge of urgency now. His eyes lock onto yours, pleading for understanding even as they flit once more to the gathering around you. “This is important, though. I made a commitment to be here, and it’s crucial that I see it through. But I’ll make it quick, I promise. We’ll leave as soon as I’m done, and we’ll be home before you know it.”
A mix of frustration and helplessness begin to bubble through you as you watch his gaze. There is a sense of sincerity, yet it feels divided—part of him here with you, with another part already back in the spotlight, where the murmurs of the gala grow louder.
You know he’s committed to the cause, that his presence here holds weight—it’s not that you don’t understand—it’s just that… does that really matter right now when Haru might need you?
“Alright…” you say reluctantly, the word heavy on your tongue. “Just… don’t take too long, please.”
ꨄ︎
Perhaps this storm isn’t just weather—it’s a harbinger.
Your attention shifts between watching Satoru on stage, giving his speech to the sponsors, to the large windows lining the ballroom. Outside the once vibrant red carpet is now a sodden strip of fabric, abandoned to the elements.
The storm has worsened, intensifying with each passing minute, and with it, your sense of dread. Your fingers tap idly against the polished surface of the round dinner table as the wind howls like it wants to be let in, the rain lashing against the glass with a ferocity that seems malevolent.
You try to focus on Satoru’s words, but a movement out of the corner of your eye catches your attention. A man, tall and imposing with raven hair, weaves his way through the crowd, his presence almost too casual for an event like this. He’s dressed well enough to blend in, but there’s something about him—something in the way he carries himself, the scar upon his lips—he feels out of place.
He's somewhat…intimidating—like a predator stalking its prey.
Once the man approaches your table, you stiffen slightly, instinctively pulling your shawl tighter around your shoulders. He’s close now, close enough that you can make out the sharpness in his features, the cold glint in his eyes.
But…why is there an air of familiarity about him? You can’t quite place it. He stops just short of your chair, a smile curling his lips, though is doesn’t reach his eyes.
“Mind if I sit?” he asks—and he doesn’t wait for your answer before pulling out the chair beside you.
Caught off guard, you nod slowly.
“Sure…”
Settling into the seat with a casual ease there's a small, almost imperceptible smirk playing on his lips. A subtle tension radiates from him as his gaze flickers to you.
“Enjoying the event?” he asks, voice smooth, almost too smooth, like oil on water.
Great. This is really not what you need right now. It’s hard enough playing your part when you have Satoru’s support, but now, you’re by yourself. What if you slip up and say something wrong?
Unease bubbles inside you, making it difficult to muster more than a faint smile upon your lips.
“Yes, it’s been lovely,” you nod politely.
“Mm… quite the storm out there though,” he comments. “But then again, a little chaos never hurt anyone, right?”
His tone sends a cool shiver down your spine. This guy gives you the creeps, but you force a polite smile, unsure of what to make of him.
“I suppose not…”
He leans back in his chair, his gaze shifting to Satoru on stage before flicking back to you.
“You must be proud, seeing him up there,” he remarks. “It’s not every day you get to stand beside someone so… influential.”
His words, though innocuous on the surface, feel laden with meaning—like there’s something he’s not saying, something he’s implying, and you feel a chill that has nothing to do with the storm outside.
Who is this man, and why does he seem so familiar?
He leans in slightly, his voice dropping to a near whisper.
“It’s important to keep an eye on those you care about, wouldn’t you agree? Sometimes… things aren’t always as they seem.”
The statement hangs in the air, heavy with implication, but before you can respond, he straightens up, his gaze flickering to the stage again where Satoru is now wrapping up his speech. The unsettling smile returns to his face—a smile that carries a shadow passing over his expression.
“Well, I won’t keep you,” he stands from the chair. “Enjoy the rest of your evening,” and he turns on his heel, disappearing back into the crowd as quickly as he appeared.
But the chill he leaves behind lingers, gnawing at the edges of your mind.
Weird…what a creep.
You shake off the lingering sense of unease as Satoru beings to step down from the podium, exchanging pleasantries and goodbyes with a few lingering guests.
His eyes flicker to you, and then towards the window, catching a glimpse of lightning as it illuminates the darkened sky, and for just a second, you notice a shift in his expression as he takes in the worsening weather.
Excusing himself from the crowd, Satoru steps to the side discreetly with practiced ease and pulls out his phone. You watch as he dials, his back turned slightly from the attendees, and although you can’t hear his words, you know what he’s doing—a rush of relief washes over you as you realize he’s calling the driver to come pick you up.
Finally.
The thought of being on your way home, of holding Haru close and reassuring her, makes the wait almost unbearable.
Satoru’s conversation is brief, but you watch it with growing anticipation, and once he slips his phone back into his pocket, he meets your gaze from across the room again.
Wait…there is something in his expression…an unease that wasn’t there before. Concern.
He weaves through the crowd with purposeful strides, and your heart sinks—it slowly becomes more apparent that something isn’t right, and the chatter in the ballroom grows quiet as guests murmur about the worsening weather.
Once Satoru reaches you, he doesn’t speak immediately. Instead, he pulls out the seat beside you, flipping it around so that the back of the chair presses against his chest as he sits, arms folded across the top of it. The movement is casual in appearance, but the way his fingers tighten around the wood, his knuckles whitening just slightly, betrays the calm facade he’s trying to maintain.
“So…” he leans in a little closer, voice low, almost reluctant. “We’ve got a bit of a situation.”
“What’s wrong?” anxiety builds inside you.
He hesitates, just for a moment, his eyes flicking to the side as if searching for the right words, before meeting your gaze head-on.
“There’s been an accident on the main road leading out of the city… it’s caused a major blockage, and with all this rain, the roads are practically flooded. My driver’s stuck on the other side and won’t be able to reach us for hours… maybe not until morning.”
Oh, you see red.
The storm outside suddenly feels like a mirror to the one brewing inside you—fierce, relentless, and impossible to contain.
If only you had left sooner, if only Satoru hadn’t insisted on staying for that last part of the gala—if only he had understood the urgency you felt—you wouldn’t be in this mess.
And now, Haru is alone at home, frightened and vulnerable, and you’re stuck here, trapped by circumstances beyond your control.
The thought makes your blood boil.
“So, what do we do?” The words escape your lips with a sharpness that even you didn’t anticipate, cutting through the air like a knife.
Satoru’s eyes widen and he runs a hand through his hair, a rare display of uncertainty flickering across his usually composed demeanor. His eyes shift away from you, scanning the room as if searching for a solution hidden in the lavish surroundings.
“…let me figure this out. Wait here,” he murmurs as he pushes back his chair and stands.
Watching his tall frame cut through the crowd, suddenly the sound of the rain beating against the glass now seems almost accusatory—a relentless reminder of this absurd situation you are now stuck in.
This night suddenly feels like it’s teetering on the edge of disaster—the thin veneer of control slipping from you with each passing second. But there are faces around you, and although they blur into a sea of indifference and hallow chatters, you are acutely aware that people are still watching.
You take a deep breath attempting to calm your frustration. There must be something Satoru can do. He has money and power—there must be some sort of solution he can find to this. Haru needs you.
Suddenly, you catch sight of Satoru weaving his way back towards you, his stride purposeful and his expression carrying a hint of relief. For a brief moment, hope flutters in your chest—perhaps he’s found a way out of this mess.
When he reaches you, he shoves his hands into his pockets, leans in slightly and speaks with a sense of accomplishment.
“So… good news. I spoke with the event coordinator. Given the circumstances, the hotel has offered us one of their VIP suites for the night. It’s just upstairs, fully equipped with everything we need until the roads clear up.”
Yeah…that’s not the solution you wanted.
A suite? He wants you to stay overnight? When Haru is at home, probably terrified, clinging to her blankets with wide, tear-filled eyes? Does he really think that’s what you wanted to hear?
“That’s considerate of them, but what about Haru?”
The words escape your lips before you can temper them, clipped and laced with the sharp edge of your rising aggravation. As they slice through the air, the flicker of surprise that crosses Satoru’s face is immediate.
Fuck.
You’re still in public, at this stupid gala. You have to stay composed; you can’t afford to lose control—not here.
Your eyes scan the room for any prying eyes, anyone who might have caught the slight outburst. It doesn’t seem like anyone noticed… thankfully. The last thing you need is for your moment of panic to become another piece of gossip for the night.
Taking a long deep breath, you attempt to regain some semblance of composure, but as you lower your voice, the tension still coils tight in your words.
“She’s back home, we can’t just leave her alone.”
“But she’s not alone,” he counters, tone firm but gentle. “Haru’s in good hands with the nanny, she’s safe. I’ll make sure everything is handled. I’ll compensate the nanny for staying overnight with Haru.”
He is clearly not on the same page as you—he doesn’t understand. Safe? Maybe. But comforted? No. Compensation won’t calm Haru’s fears; money can’t replace the warmth and reassurance of her mother’s arms when she’s trembling in fear.
But you can’t say that here—you don’t trust yourself to soften the words, not with the eyes of the gala on you, prying, ready to dissect any sign of discord between you and Satoru. So instead, you grasp for something, anything—another solution, another way out of this mess.
“Isn’t there something else we can do? Another route we can take?” you press, the desperation seeping through despite your efforts to keep it contained.
Satoru’s shoulders tense ever so slightly, a subtle shift that only someone who knows him as well as you do would notice. There is a flicker of frustration in his eyes as they narrow, and you watch him take a moment to briefly weigh his words.
“Y/n this is the best solution I can come up with,” there’s an undercurrent of firmness that brooks no argument. “It’s not safe for us to leave right now. The roads are flooded, and I can’t risk us getting caught out there.”
For a moment, the two of you are locked in a silent standoff, each of you grappling with the weight of the situation, the reality pressing down like the storm outside. He’s right—you know he is—but that doesn’t make the situation any easier to swallow. The knowledge sits heavy in your chest, a bitter pill that refuses to go down smoothly.
Why couldn’t Satoru just listen to you when you suggested you leave early?
The thought fuels your frustration simmering just beneath the surface. You should have been more persistent. But now, here you are, trapped in this gilded cage while your daughter is home, scared and needing you.
Satoru exhales softly, the tension in his shoulders easing and the hard edges of his demeanor softening just slightly as he steps closer to you—he’s trying to bridge the growing chasm between you.
His hand reaches out, and you want to pull back, but you are in public, you can’t. There’s a softness in his touch, a quiet desperation to connect, but you can feel the gap widening under the weight of everything left unsaid.
He tilts his head, caressing your hand as his gaze searches yours.
“It’s just one night,” he murmurs, and there’s a tenderness there, an unspoken plea for you to understand, to see that he’s trying to make the best of a bad situation. But to you, the words feel hollow, like they’re echoing in a void that’s too vast to bridge with simple reassurances. “We’ll be back first thing in the morning before Haru even wakes up.”
But will she be okay?
The question burns in your throat but you keep it to yourself—it wouldn’t come out nice anyway.
You are trapped—trapped by the storm, trapped by this situation, trapped by the need to maintain this perfect, unblemished image for everyone around you.
So instead, you force a tight-lipped smile, one that doesn’t reach your eyes. It’s the best you can manage, a fragile mask to hide the storm inside.
“Guess we don’t have a choice….”
“I know…we’ll get through this though. Just one night,” he echoes, as if saying it again will make it more true, but the repetition feels like an empty promise.
You nod, the motion stiff and reluctant.
“I understand,” the words taste like ash. “Let’s go upstairs then,” you rise from your seat, not waiting for him to respond.
ꨄ︎
As the elevator doors slide open with a quiet ding, you step inside with clipped precision, your movements sharp and purposeful. The elevator is empty—thank God.
The last thing you need right now is to plaster on a fake smile and pretend that everything is fine when you’re anything but. You don’t have the energy to pretend—not in front of strangers, and certainly not in front of Satoru.
You barely acknowledge him as he steps in behind you, your focus narrowing on the glowing buttons as you swiftly press the number for your floor. Once the door closes with a soft thud, instinctively, you gravitate to the far side of the elevator, creating as much distance between you and Satoru as the small space allows.
There’s a brief pause as Satoru hesitates, his eyes flickering over to you before he pulls out his phone, and the soft glow of the screen casts a muted light over his features, highlighting the tension in his brow.
As the elevator hums quietly, beginning its ascent, you catch sight of Satoru dialing the nanny’s number from the corner of your eye, lifting the phone to his ear.
“Hey, listen… there’s been a situation with the roads—they’re flooded, and we won’t be able to make it back tonight. Can you stay with Haru until morning?”
He pauses, listening intently to the nanny’s response, and although you can’t make out her words, you see the way Satoru's brow furrows, the lines of tension etching themselves deeper into his features.
The muffled sound of the nanny’s voice filters through the phone, indistinct and far away—until another sound reaches your ears, clear and unmistakable.
Haru.
Her small, trembling voice carries through the phone, quivering with fear as she calls for you, confirming the gnawing dread that had been eating away at you all night. You were right, of course, but there’s no satisfaction in that—not when your daughter is scared and crying for you, and you’re trapped miles away, helpless to do anything about it.
Satoru’s jaw tightens. “Haru’s okay, right?” tone softer now, almost hesitant.
There’s a pause, a heavy silence that stretches out as Satoru listens, and you watch as something in his posture shifts—his shoulders slump ever so slightly, a small, almost imperceptible movement, but enough to tell you that the news isn’t good. He closes his eyes for a moment, exhaling quietly.
“Tell her that her Mama will be home in the morning… and I’ll make sure everything’s okay. Just... stay with her, please.”
Slipping his phone back into his pocket, Satoru fixes his gaze on the floor, unable—or perhaps unwilling—to meet your eyes. He offers no words of comfort, no apology. And you, in turn, make no effort to break the silence either.
Maybe it’s for the best—because right now, the storm raging inside you is just as fierce as the one outside, and you’re not sure you can contain it much longer. The lid holding down your frustration is teetering dangerously on the edge, threatening to spill over, and as the pressure builds, your emotions coil tight like a spring ready to snap.
If you open your mouth now, the floodgates will burst.
So, you’ll wait—you’ll discuss this with Satoru when you’re more level-headed. Right now, all you want to do is crawl into bed—away from Satoru, away from this night, away from everything that feels so suffocatingly wrong.
The silence stretches on, thick and unbearable, and once the elevator finally reaches your floor with a soft chime, without a word, you step out, your heels clicking against the polished floor, with Satoru following a step behind—silent and distant, the space between you feeling wider than ever.
ꨄ︎
The moment you step into the VIP suite, the first thing that strikes you is the sheer size of the room—it’s more like a luxurious apartment than a mere hotel room. The high ceilings are adorned with intricate chandeliers, rich furnishings and artwork that probably costs more than what your entire apartment had cost.
The floor-to-ceiling windows offer a breathtaking view of the city below, and there is a beautiful patio overlooking the city with the lights twinkling against the stormy backdrop, but instead of feeling awe, it’s only a reminder of how trapped you are.
In the common room, a plush, oversized sofa commands the space, flanked by elegant armchairs and a coffee table that looks more like a piece of art than something meant for everyday use. You set your purse and shawl down on the polished surface and begin to explore the room.
Your gaze wanders to a nearby dining area, where a table is set for two, the fine china and crystal glasses gleaming under the soft light. Beyond that, a sleek bar catches your eye, stocked with an assortment of premium spirits. At the center, a bottle of champagne chills in a gleaming silver bucket, waiting to be uncorked—a celebration you’re far from feeling.
Curious, you open the first door you come across, but it’s just a closet. Moving onto the next, you’re half-expecting to find a bedroom, but instead, the door reveals a marble-clad bathroom, which is more of a private spa than anything else, with a deep soaking tub and a rain shower that beckons with promises of relaxation.
Finally, you reach the last door, and as you push it open, your breath catches in your throat. The bedroom is vast, with high ceilings and draped curtains, but amidst all the space, the luxury, the sheer grandeur…
There is only one bed.
It’s massive, adorned in rich, inviting linens that seem to promise the best sleep of your life. The headboard is a work of art, appearing as if it was carved by hand, its craftsmanship impeccable. But despite all its luxury, one glaring fact stands out—it’s a single bed.
A bed meant for two.
You stop in your tracks, staring at the bed in disbelief. Your mind races, trying to make sense of the situation. Did you miss a door? Could there be another bedroom somewhere in the suite?
Without thinking, you begin to backtrack, your footsteps hurried and purposeful. You retrace your steps through the suite, opening doors you’ve already been through, peering inside with a growing sense of urgency.
The bathroom—no, just the spa-like marble bath and rain shower. The closet—no, just storage. The living area—no, just the oversized sofa and elegant chairs. The dining area—no, just the table set for two and the sleek bar.
Where’s the other bedroom? There has to be another one, right? How can a suite this big, only have one bed?
Is this a cruel joke? A final twist of the knife in an already unbearable night? Is the universe pushing you further out of your comfort zone, testing the limits of your patience, your composure, and your control?
Your movements grow more frantic as you circle back, convinced you must have overlooked something, anything. But there’s nothing else. It’s just that one, luxurious bed, waiting for the two of you.
Scanning the suite one last time, you notice Satoru sitting nonchalantly on the plush couch, leaning back with one arm draped casually over the back of the sofa. He loosens his tie as he tilts his head, watching you with a mixture of confusion and mild amusement.
“What are you looking for?”
You stop dead in your tracks, your breath hitching as you stare at him in disbelief.
“There’s only one bed.”
Perhaps vocalizing the absurdity of this precarious situation might somehow conjure a second bed out of thin air.
Oh, you wish.
Satoru blinks and raises an eyebrow. Without a word, he slowly rises from the couch and walks towards the bedroom. Once he steps inside, he takes in the sight of the massive bed and the luxurious linens—staring at it for a moment as the situation sits in.
Then, he turns to you, with an exaggerated shrug.
“Huh. Looks like the hotel’s playing matchmaker tonight.”
You narrow your eyes at him, not speaking, letting the flicker of annoyance smolder into a flame. The corners of your mouth tighten, and your arms cross defensively over your chest.
Satoru matches your silence, watching you with an unreadable expression, and then he shrugs again, the movement casual, almost dismissive.
“What?” carrying a note of faux innocence. “They probably figured we wouldn’t mind getting cozy. We are husband and wife, after all. Of course they wouldn’t think we’d need separate beds.”
He’s not making this any better for you right now…
You shake your head, rubbing your eyes in exasperation as if trying to rub away the absurdity of the situation. It’s all too much—the storm, the delay, the night that refuses to end. You can feel the weight of it pressing down on you, and each word from Satoru just seems to add another layer to the frustration.
“Wow…this is unbelievable,” you huff.
“Mm, you know what they say, nothing like sharing a bed to break the tension,” Satoru quips, plopping down at the edge of the bed as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. He bounces slightly, testing the mattress, and glances up at you with a glint in his eye. “Well, I suppose this is where we’re supposed to start arguing over who gets the left side?”
Is he serious right now?
You can hardly believe it—the casualness of his demeanor, the way he seems completely unconcerned about the reality of this situation. It is almost infuriating.
“This is not happening…I am not sharing a bed with you,” you say, more to yourself than to him, a whispered mix of disbelief and determination. You cross your arms tightly over your chest.
But Satoru just leans back on his hands, completely unbothered, his relaxed posture a stark contrast to the storm brewing inside you. Tilting his head slightly, he flashes you an easy grin.
“Hey, it could be worse,” he says with a nonchalant shrug, patting the space beside him. “At least it’s a king-size. I mean, we could practically build a wall down the middle if you want.”
You stare at him, incredulous.
How can he be so flippant about this? So completely unconcerned, so utterly unaffected by everything that’s happened tonight?
Every word that comes out of his mouth further makes your patience slip through your fingers.
“…are you serious right now?” there is a tremble in your voice as you attempt to keep your frustration in check, but it’s a losing battle.
“Yup,” he shrugs, completely unfazed. “Looks like it’s just you, me, and this king-sized dilemma.”
Wow. You’re standing in the middle of a situation that has gone from bad to worse, and he’s making jokes? The disbelief turns into something hotter, something sharper, as you feel the last remnants of your composure start to crumble.
“Are you kidding me, Satoru?” you snap and the frustration you’ve been holding back all night finally spills over. “You are absolutely unbelievable. This isn’t funny! None of this is fucking funny! We’re stuck here, and you’re making jokes?”
The playful smirk that had been dancing on Satoru's lips vanishes instantly, replaced by a look of irritation. He leans forward, fixing you with a hard stare, and the lightheartedness drains from his posture as his elbows rest on his knees.
“Oh, okay, I’m sorry,” he retorts, a sharp edge to his voice. “Y’know, I was just trying to lighten the mood. Didn’t realize you were going to blow up at me for trying to make the best out of a bad situation.”
“Lighten the mood?” you echo, your voice rising in disbelief. “Do you really think that’s what I need right now?”
A scoff escapes your lips as all your frustration bubbles to the surface. The weight of everything finally presses down on you, and his indifference feels like a slap in the face.
You can’t even look at him right now.
With a dismissive shake of your head, you turn away, briskly stepping towards the living room.
“You just don’t get it, do you?” you mutter under your breath, the words more to yourself than to him, but loud enough that you know he can hear.
“What don’t I get?” Satoru challenges, his voice growing sharper as he pushes off the bed and follows after you. His footsteps are clipped as he closes the distance between you, not willing to let the conversation drop. “What don’t I get, y/n? Tell me.”
You whirl around to face him, your heart pounding in your chest, the tension crackling like electricity.
“Satoru—Haru needs me, and we’re stuck here, miles away, in some fancy hotel suite. But you don’t even care.”
The accusation slips out and you can no longer hide the mix of anger and hurt that laces your voice. Satoru’s eyes narrow, his jaw clenching as he tries to rein in his own frustration.
“You think I don’t care?” his voice is sharp, insistent, almost incredulous as he steps closer. “You think I’m not worried about Haru too? y/n we literally had this conversation in the limo earlier. Jesus, just because I don’t show my emotions like you it doesn’t mean I don’t care. I hate this situation just as much as you do, but it’s not like I can control the weather or the roads!”
The intensity of his words strikes you, but the anger simmering beneath your skin refuses to let you back down.
“Yeah, well, if you really cared, we would have left as soon as the storm started, like I wanted! Then we wouldn’t even be in this situation!” your trembling voice increases an octave and you throw your hands up in exasperation. “But no—you had to stay for that last part of the gala, didn’t you?”
Satoru’s reaction is immediate. He runs a hand through his hair, the movement rough and frustrated while a bitter laugh escapes his lips, one that sends a chill down your spine. His eyes flash with something darker as he glares at you.
“Oh, so now it’s my fault that we’re stuck here? Because I stayed for the speech? I had obligations, y/n! I couldn’t just leave!”
“Obligations?” the word drips with sarcasm as it leaves your lips, your voice thick with disbelief and a touch of something more, something wounded. You narrow your eyes and the anger within flares hotter as you shoot a glare back at him. “We could’ve left earlier, but instead you just had to be the perfect ‘Satoru Gojo.’ Your precious image, your obligations—everything always comes first, doesn’t it?”
A flash of anger sparks within the depths of Satoru’s eyes, and his voice drops lower, more measured, with an edge that makes your heart jump.
“You knew what you were signing up for,” the words are clipped and his tone is cold and biting. “I told you there would be expectations, that there would be obligations that came with this agreement. Don’t act like this is some surprise to you.”
His words hit their mark, the truth in them sinking in like a stone dropping into a deep well. The realization settles over you, heavy and cold.
Oh…this truly is just a business arrangement, nothing more.
This is…what you agreed to…isn’t it?
For a brief moment, you had almost forgotten that this marriage—this life you’ve been trying to build—wasn’t real. It was never based on love or trust or any of the things you’d once dreamed of. It has always been a contract, an arrangement, and you were just another piece in the game he was playing.
You feel the sharp, unmistakable sting of hurt, a wound that cuts deeper than you anticipated. And with that hurt comes regret—regret for allowing yourself to believe, even for a second, that he might be willing to take a leap of faith for you, for Haru.
You should have known better.
He’s Satoru Gojo, after all, the man who holds his obligations and his image above everything else. The man who never allows himself to be vulnerable, to be anything other than perfect in the eyes of the world.
“So that’s it, then?” the words slip out with a quiet tremor, your voice breaking slightly under the crushing weight of your emotions “You’ll always put your commitments first, no matter what? No matter how it affects us? No matter how it affects Haru?”
For the briefest of moments, Satoru’s expression softens, a flicker of regret passing through his eyes, as if he’s momentarily aware of the pain his words have caused.
You can feel the tears burning at the back of your eyes, but you blink them away, refusing to let them fall. You won’t give him the satisfaction of seeing how much his words have cut you, how deeply the reminder of your place in his life stings.
Instead, you draw in a shaky breath, steeling yourself, and forcing your voice to steady. It takes every ounce of strength you have to keep your composure, to keep from breaking in front of him.
“It’s always about your image…isn’t it?” you whisper, the words barely audible, but they carry the weight of your realization, heavy and bitter. “I thought… maybe just once, you’d be willing to choose something else. Someone else. Guess I was wrong.”
The silence that follows is suffocating, thick with the tension that has built up between you. Satoru opens his mouth to respond, his expression shifting as if he’s searching for the right words, but you’ve already had enough. The frustration, the anger, the hurt—it’s all too much, too overwhelming, and honestly, you don’t think you can take the weight of his inevitable rejection right now.
Before he can say anything, before he can shatter whatever fragile composure you have left, you turn on your heel and stride towards the suite’s balcony.
ꨄ︎
The moment you step out onto the balcony, the cold night air wraps around you, but you welcome its icy embrace, and as the heavy door slides shut behind you with a dull thud, it seals off any lingering warmth from the hotel suite, leaving you alone with the elements.
The balcony, partially sheltered by a gazebo, offers little protection from the fierce wind driving the rain sideways. But as the droplets hit your skin, cold and sharp, you don’t flinch. Instead, you let the rain wash over you, soaking into your dress and chilling you to the bone, as if the cold might somehow numb the emotional turmoil raging inside you.
Gripping the railing, you stare out at the city below, the wind whipping around you, tugging at your dress as the storm batters you from all sides. But the physical discomfort barely registers—it's nothing compared to the storm brewing within. Because now, the anger that had fueled your argument with Satoru begins to ebb, giving way to a deep, aching sadness that you can no longer hold back.
You sink down onto one of the chairs, ignoring the fact that the cushion is already soaked through. The wet fabric clings to your skin as you huddle there, pulling your knees up to your chest, and as you take in the downpour, you allow the rain to mingle with the tears that finally begin to slip down your cheeks.
If only the howling wind was loud enough to drown the thoughts swirling in your mind.
But it’s not.
The first thing you hear is Naoya’s words, echoing in your ears. His cruel taunts, sharp and insidious, have haunted you ever since your encounter at the coffee shop—a seed of doubt planted deep within you.
And now, those seeds have taken root, growing in the shadows of your heart, feeding off your insecurities until they’ve become impossible to ignore. Maybe he was right all along… you don’t belong beside Satoru. This life you agreed to—this carefully crafted facade—it has always been a deal, nothing more. A deal struck for reasons that now seem distant and blurred.
And then there’s Satoru.
The man you’ve grown closer to, despite everything. The man who, on occasion, looks at you with a softness that seems almost out of place, a trust that makes your heart ache under the weight of your own secrets… and your own growing feelings. But tonight, you saw the bitter reality of who he truly is—a reality that you’ve always known, yet somehow tried to push aside. It’s a reality that places duty and obligation above all else, that keeps his heart locked away behind walls you know you’ll never breach.
You understand it, you really do. But understanding doesn’t make it any easier to bear. It doesn’t make the hurt go away.
You think about Haru—your sweet, innocent child, who’s at home right now, likely scared and alone, flinching with every crash of thunder.
The thought of her, small and frightened, tugs at your heart, and the guilt twists inside you, sharper than any blade. It cuts through your defenses until all that remains is the raw, unrelenting pain of a mother’s worry, a mother’s fear. You should be there with her, holding her close, whispering reassurances that everything is going to be okay, that the storm will pass.
But you’re not.
You’re here, drenched on a balcony, struggling to hold yourself together while everything around you falls apart. And that reality—knowing you’ve left her to face the storm alone—makes the tears fall harder now.
They stream down your face, mixing with the rain, until you can’t tell where one ends and the other begins. The sobs come, wracking your body with their intensity, as you bury your face in your hands, your shoulders shaking with the force of your grief.
It’s all too much—the pressure, the expectations, the lies, the fear.
And then there’s the love.
The love that’s beginning to bloom for Satoru, despite the circumstances…and it only makes it more complicated, more painful. It’s a love that you know you shouldn’t feel, that you’re terrified to acknowledge—and it wraps itself around your heart like a thorny vine, beautiful yet painful, tightening its grip with every passing day.
And your worries never end—the contract, the obligations, the appearances you have to maintain. This agreement that had once seemed so clear, so necessary, but now feels like a chain around your neck, binding you to a life that’s growing more and more suffocating by the day.
You didn’t sign up for this, not really.
You didn’t sign up for the way your heart had started to beat in sync with Satoru’s, for the way his touch lingers on your skin long after he’s gone, or the way his voice is capable of soothing the deepest parts of your soul.
But here you are—trapped, ensnared by duty and honor, by a love that’s growing despite the walls you’ve tried to build around it. A love for a man who might never fully understand the depth of the sacrifice you’re making.
A man who will never love you back the way you wish he would, or put you first.
You continue to cry as the storm proceeds to rage against you, both inside and out—but you hope that maybe this rain will wash away some of the pain, some of the doubts, some of the fear.
Ah… but you know better. Because once this storm passes, the reality of your situation will still be there, waiting for you.
The contract, the expectations, the life you’ve chosen, and the choices you must make—none of it will disappear, no matter how much you wish it could. And despite how much you long to rid yourself of this burden, the love you’re beginning to feel for Satoru…that too, will remain, complicating everything in ways you’re not sure you’re ready to face.
The sound of the sliding door opening barely registers in your mind, lost in the cacophony of the storm as you remain huddled on the chair, lost in your thoughts. You don’t look up, not even when you sense his presence behind you—the presence of that familiar warmth, one that has the potential to cut through the cold that’s seeped into your bones.
Why is he here? You can’t bear it.
He stands there for a moment, silently taking in the sight of you curled up on the chair, small and vulnerable against the fury of the storm, and then, with a resolve that seems almost fragile, he steps forward.
The rain immediately begins to soak through his clothes, just as it did yours, and slowly, he kneels beside you, his movements careful, almost hesitant, as if he’s afraid that any sudden motion might shatter what little composure you have left.
“y/n,” he says softly, voice almost lost in the storm, “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”
You can’t bring yourself to respond—the words are trapped in your throat, tangled in the rush of emotions his apology stirs within you. Confusion, sorrow, a desperate yearning for things to be different—they all swirl within you, too intense, too raw to process.
The pain is overwhelming, and right now, you can’t even bring yourself to look at him. You’re terrified of what you might see in his eyes. What would you feel if you looked at him now?
You’re too scared to find out.
Satoru seems to sense your hesitation, your fear. His hand reaches out, and you feel the gentle pressure of his fingers on your shoulder, tentative and light, as if he’s afraid you might pull away. But you don’t. There’s a warmth in his touch, something that defies the cold rain soaking through both of you—a warmth that, despite everything, makes you want to lean into it, to draw strength from it.
“y/n, please…” his voice drops quieter, almost pleading. “Look at me.”
His request hangs in the air, and for a moment, you feel as if time has stopped.
Why is this so hard? Why can’t you accept that this is nothing more than a contract, an arrangement born out of necessity rather than love?
His touch fills you with a bittersweetness that is almost unbearable—a longing that you know is not realistic, that you know you shouldn’t entertain. But the plea in his voice, the vulnerability you hear in those simple words, chips away at your resolve.
Slowly, almost reluctantly, you lift your tear-streaked face to meet his gaze. The rain has flattened his usually neat hair against his forehead, and his clothes are drenched, clinging to him, but it’s his eyes that hold you captive. Because once your eyes finally connect, the world around you seems to fade into the background, the storm reduced to a distant hum.
His usually composed, confident expression is different now—eyes, softened by regret, vulnerability, and that same softness that has been tearing you apart since the moment he became deeply intertwined in your life.
It's that same softness you’ve tried to ignore, that you’ve convinced yourself was nothing more than an illusion, but that still holds an undeniable power over you.
“I’m sorry…” he repeats, voice trembling with an underlying thickness, as if he’s struggling to keep his emotions in check. “I didn’t mean for it to be like this. I never wanted to make you feel like Haru doesn’t matter to me, like you don’t matter.”
Your head shakes almost involuntarily, tears continuing to fall, mingling with the rain. Denial wraps around your heart like a protective shield, reminding you that this man doesn’t love you, that you cannot—will not—get your hopes up. You’ve been down this road before, and you know better than to believe in things that aren’t real.
But Satoru’s eyes soften even more as he reads the pain in your expression, and without a word, his other hand comes up to cup your cheek. His touch is warm against your cold, rain-soaked skin, and he gently brushes away the tears that mingle with the rain on your face—a touch so tender that it almost breaks you all over again.
“I really fucked up tonight…” he sighs, his breath hitching slightly as the words escape him. “I’m so sorry for that. Please… let me make things right.”
You can feel the conflict within you, your heart warring with your mind, urging you to push him away, to protect yourself from the pain that seems inevitable. You can’t afford to give yourself hope—not when the risk of being shattered again looms so large, so close.
“Look… I’m really not good at this. I’m not used to… letting people in,” he admits, his voice faltering slightly as he grapples with his own vulnerability and inadequacy. “But with you, I want to try. That’s why…”
He pauses, taking a deep breath, the sound shaky as he gathers the courage to say what’s weighing on his heart.
“I need you to know that everything I said during the interview tonight… it wasn’t just for show. I wasn’t saying what I thought people wanted to hear.”
Your breath catches at his words and your heart pounds furiously within your chest. The weight of his words and the sincerity in his eyes makes it impossible to look away.
“Those were my real feelings, y/n. When they asked me what drew me to you… I meant every word.”
Your body begins to tremble, a shuddering wave of emotion crashing over you like the relentless storm around you, threatening to pull you under. The tears begin welling up again and you feel yourself unraveling at the seams.
“Don’t do this, Satoru,” you plead, voice cracking with the weight of your fear. You bring your hands up instinctively, as if to shield yourself from the intensity of his words, to create some distance between you. “Don’t say these things… I can’t… I can’t handle being hurt again.”
For a moment, Satoru hesitates, his eyes searching yours, but then, with a gentle yet determined motion, he takes your trembling hands into his own and the warmth of his touch seeps into your cold skin. Slowly, he lowers your hands onto your lap, his grip firm but tender.
“No, let me say this,” he insists, his voice steadying, becoming more resolute, though it’s still laced with a gentleness. “You deserve to hear it. You deserve to know how I really feel.”
His thumb begins to stroke the back of your hand and his gaze softens as he searches your face. There is an earnest tenderness within the depths of his expression, and it makes your heart ache.
“You’ve brought something into my life that I didn’t even know I was missing,” Satoru continues, “You’ve made me feel… grounded, in a way that I’ve never felt before.”
There is a raw honesty in his eyes, one that begins to erode the walls you’ve built around your heart. You feel your resolve crumbling, piece by piece, as his words chip away at the fear and doubt that has kept you from fully opening up to him.
“I’m not perfect,” his voice wavers slightly and his hand tightens around yours, seeking reassurance even as he offers it. “Far from it… but you’ve made me realize that’s okay. And now, because of you, I want to do better, to be better… not just for you, but for Haru too. And for myself.”
What is he saying?
Your breath hitches, a small, involuntary gasp escaping your lips as you process his words.
“I’m… confused,” you whisper, your mind racing to catch up with your heart. “Isn’t this… just a contract?”
“Yeah…well…” a wry smile tugs at the corner of his lips, though his eyes remain serious. “Guess I broke the clause, huh? So much for no emotional entanglements…”
Your breath catches again, this time in realization.
Wait… he feels the same way? This is really happening?
The realization hits you like a wave—the truth of it crashing over you, leaving you breathless, and you can’t stop the fresh surge of tears from falling down your face.
Satoru’s brow furrows with worry, a flicker of uncertainty crossing his features as he watches you cry. Leaning in closer, he rests his forehead gently against yours. His eyes search yours, desperate for some kind of response, some kind of reassurance that his words have reached you, that he hasn’t misread the situation.
“Please… don’t cry,” he whispers with a tenderness that makes your heart ache. He closes his eyes, breath warm as it fans across your face, and his hand, still holding yours, gives a gentle squeeze, as if to remind you that he’s here, that he’s not going anywhere.
“I… I want to believe you, Satoru,” you manage, voice trembling with the weight of your fears and doubts. “Believe everything you’re saying, but I’m so scared. What if I’m not enough? I don’t think I could survive that kind of heartbreak again…”
Satoru’s eyes open slowly, his gaze locking onto yours with an intensity that makes your breath hitch.
“You are enough, y/n. You’ve always been enough.”
There is a firmness in his resolve, as if he’s trying to engrave the words into your very being.
His free hand comes up to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing away another tear that had escaped.
“And honestly… I’m scared too.” His voice drops even lower, almost a whisper now. “Trust is something I’ve never given lightly. But with you… I want to trust. I need to trust. And… I need you to trust me too.”
Trust—there’s that word again.
It lingers in the air between you, heavy with meaning, with all the complexities and the promises it holds.
Trust—It’s such a simple word, yet it carries the weight of a thousand unsaid things, a thousand fears, a thousand hopes. It’s the foundation of everything, isn’t it? The one thing you’ve always struggled with, the one thing that has kept you from fully letting go, from fully giving yourself to him—or to anyone, for that matter.
Trust—It’s what you’ve been afraid to place in someone else’s hands, for fear that they might not handle it with care. And why would they? After everything you’ve been through, after all the disappointments, the betrayals, the moments when you’ve been left to pick up the pieces of your shattered heart, why would you ever trust again?
But… maybe trust isn’t about being certain, about knowing for sure that everything will turn out alright. Maybe… it’s about taking that leap of faith, about being willing to risk the hurt because the potential for something real, something meaningful, is worth it.
You look at him, really look at him—his usually confident demeanor is stripped away, leaving only the man beneath, exposed and uncertain, yet somehow more real than you’ve ever seen him.
This is… Satoru.
In that moment, something shifts within you.
Ah… perhaps trust isn’t something you just give; it’s something you build, together, piece by piece, moment by moment. And maybe… as terrifying as it is, you’re ready to start building that with him.
The realization hits you like a warm rush, spreading through your chest and making your heart ache in a way that’s both painful and beautiful. You want to tell him, to find the words that will let him know that you want this too. But the emotions are too overwhelming, too all-consuming, and you find yourself at a loss, unable to articulate the flood of feelings coursing through you.
So instead, you do the only thing you can—you decide to show him.
Your hands move on their own, driven by an urgency you can’t contain. Grasping the collar of his shirt, your fingers curl into the wet fabric, pulling him closer with a force that leaves no room for hesitation. The distance between you disappears in one desperate, crashing motion as you bring your lips to his.
It’s a fierce kiss, filled with a force that’s as much an admission as it is an apology—an admission of your own feelings, of the vulnerabilities you’ve tried so hard to hide, and an apology for every moment you’ve tried to protect yourself by pushing him away.
The intensity of your need is met by Satoru’s immediate response, his arms wrapping around you with a fervency that matches the storm raging around you, pulling you flush against him as if he’s afraid you might slip away.
The rain soaks through your clothes, but all you can focus on is the heat of his skin, the way his mouth moves against yours with a need that’s as insistent as it is consuming. You swallow the low, desperate moan that escapes from him, the sound vibrating through you, sending a shiver down your spine.
God, you wanted this.
His tongue grazes your lower lip, seeking entry, and without hesitation, you part your lips for him, allowing him to deepen the kiss even further, kissing you as though you’re the very air he needs to breathe. Once his tongue meets yours, the sensation is electric, sending sparks of pleasure through your entire body.
God, he wanted this.
He’s losing himself in the kiss, like he’s been holding back for far too long, and now that he’s tasted you, he can’t get enough. And you let him, wrapping your legs around him and allowing him to lift you up with ease as you thread your fingers through his damp hair. He doesn’t hesitate, doesn’t falter, as he carries you toward the balcony door, sure and driven by a need that can no longer be contained.
With a swift motion, he presses you against the glass door. The cold rain continues to hammer down, but you’re barely aware of it—there is a fire that seems to burn hotter with every second your lips remain locked, and you are lost in the sensation of his hands gripping into the plush of your thighs, holding you firmly in place.
“Satoru…” you gasp between kisses, and the sound of your breathless voice drives him further into the depths of his desire.
“Fuck… could get used to hearing you say m’ name like that,” he groans, mouth dropping to your neck, lips tracing the line of your jaw before pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses against your throat.
You arch your back and tilt your head, allowing him access, but the sudden sensation of his hips pressing against your core causes a whimper to escape your lips.
Fuck. You now realize just how much he wanted this. The hardness pressed against you is unmistakable and that alone heightens your own desire, making a tingling heat begin to pool in between your legs.
Your hands slide down his back, nails digging slightly into his skin beneath the wet fabric of his shirt, and you press your hips forward, seeking more of that friction, and he responds with a low growl rumbling from deep within his chest as he begins to grind against you.
“Fucking hell…” he rasps, voice thick with desperation, “you have no idea,” he whimpers, breath hitching as his lips brush against your ear, “no fucking idea…” he grinds harder, with renewed intensity, “how much I’ve wanted this…” his eyes flutter shut, lost in the sensation, “how much I want you…”
Every nerve ignites as an intense heat courses through you.
Fuck. This is bad. This is really bad.
You’re losing any trace of reasoning; you’re lacking any semblance of control. How can you think straight when he talks to you like that? When he touches you like this?
You can’t. It’s impossible.
This is moving really fast, and every coherent thought is slipping away, replaced by the overwhelming need for him, the need to feel every inch of him against you, inside you. You’re losing yourself in the way his body moves against yours, in the way his voice trembles with need.
“Satoru… I—” you start, but the words catch in your throat, choked off by that delicious sensation of him shifting his hips, pressing harder against you in just that right spot. “I can’t… fuck. I can’t think when you’re like this…”
“Don’t think,” he murmurs against your skin. “Just feel… let me take care of you…”
And then he’s kissing you again, his mouth claiming yours with a hunger that makes your head spin. Oh, fuck it, you don’t care. You don’t care about anything else in this moment.
In one swift motion, without breaking the kiss, he carries you away from the rain, and into the warmth of the suite. His steps are quick and determined until he reaches the bedroom, and once he sets you down your feet barely touch the floor before his hands are on you again.
The urgency in his touch is undeniable, frantic as his hands begin to work at the wet fabric of your dress, peeling it away with determination.
Oh god, this is really moving fast.
The realization hits you like a wave, but it’s quickly drowned out by the sight of him shrugging off his shirt, letting it fall to the floor. And once you catch sight of his toned muscles, the way they flex beneath his skin, how can you think straight?
You can’t.
Your hands move instinctively, reaching for him, running over his chest, savoring the warmth, the strength beneath your fingertips, and his hands are equally on you, exploring your body with a reverence while his mouth moves against yours with fervor.
“You’re so fucking pretty, so beautiful…” he breaks the kiss, “I can’t get enough of you…” and then his mouth is on yours again, desperate and hungry, leaving you breathless.
He guides you towards the bed, and once the back of your knees hit the edge of it, he gives you a gentle but insistent push. His body follows and once the mattress dips slightly under your combined weight, you’re suddenly hyperaware of everything—the way his hands are sliding down your sides, the way his lips are tracing a path from your collarbone to the swell of your breasts, the way he settles between your legs.
This is moving way…way too fast.
You need a moment to think, but your mind is constantly drowned out by the feel of his body against yours.
“Satoru…” you murmur against his lips, “Please I—” But before you can finish, he’s kissing you again, his mouth claiming yours with a fierceness that makes your heart skip a beat.
Your breath hitches as he begins to rock his hips against your clothed core, the friction sending jolts of pleasure through you while you gasp into his mouth. Before you realize what you’re doing, your legs are wrapping around his waist, pulling him closer, deepening the connection between you.
Damnit, that delicious friction is all-consuming, and you can’t stop yourself from arching into him.
“Ever since that night at the gala…” he murmurs against your skin, his lips trailing down the curve of your neck, “After we kissed, I haven’t been able to think about anything else… anyone else… just you.”
His words send a shiver down your spine. Fucking hell, he’s not making this easy. The way his breath hitches as he presses kisses along your collarbone, it’s clear he’s barely holding on to his own control. And you? You’re already starting to lose yours.
Fuck, he will ruin you.
“All I could think about was how it felt to kiss you… how much I wanted to do it again… how much I wanted more…” his breath hot against your skin as his hands grip your hips, pulling you even closer.
“I can’t… I need… oh god…” the words slip out, a desperate plea mixed with a moan as the sensation of him rolling his length against that sensitive bundle of nerves between your legs becomes almost unbearable.
Fuck… the pleasure is so intense, so overwhelming, that your vision blurs, your world narrowing to nothing but the feel of him, the heat of his body, the way he’s moving against you.
You’re seeing stars.
“What is it?” he whispers against the shell of your ear, and oh he sounds so fucking undone by you, as if he’s on the verge of losing control. “Tell me… tell me what you need baby.”
His words are like gasoline on the fire burning inside you. Damnit, you need him. But you also need time to process everything that is happening. As much as you want to give in, as much as your body is screaming for more of him, a tiny voice in the back of your mind is telling you to slow down, to think.
There is still so much that has been left unsaid…things you need to get off your chest.
“Satoru…” you whisper, your voice shaky as you thread your fingers through his hair, gently pulling him back just enough to look into his eyes. His gaze is intense, dark with desire, and it takes every ounce of your self-control not to lose yourself in it. “Can we… can we take it slow?”
His body stills, and for a moment, the intensity in his eyes softens. He’s still breathing heavily, his chest rising and falling, but he nods slowly, as if he’s trying to rein in his own overwhelming need.
He leans in to press a soft, lingering kiss to your lips, his hands sliding from your hips to cradle your face gently. The kiss is different now, less urgent but still filled with an undeniable passion that leaves you breathless. It’s a slow burn, a simmering heat that makes your skin tingle as his lips move tenderly against yours, savoring every moment.
The kiss tapers off naturally, his lips lingering on yours as if he’s reluctant to let go. When he finally pulls back, he doesn’t move far, his nose brushing against yours in a tender nuzzle that makes you smile.
“Yeah… okay…” he breathes out, voice rough and tinged with longing. “We can slow down… whatever you need…”
His fingers trace the line of your jaw, moving to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, his touch light, almost reverent.
“Sorry it’s just…” he murmurs, his thumb brushing over your lower lip before leaning in to press a soft kiss to your temple, then your cheek, then the corner of your mouth. Each kiss is gentle. He pulls back slightly, his lips ghosting over yours as he whispers, “You don’t know what you do to me…”
Your heart swells at his words, and you can’t help the smile that tugs at your lips. “I think I’m starting to figure it out,” you softly chuckle.
Satoru mirrors your smile and lets out a soft laugh.
“Well... it’s about damn time you caught on.”
He plops down beside you, pulling you into his arms with an ease that makes your heart flutter. as if being this close to you is the most natural thing in the world. He buries his face into the nape of your neck, inhaling your scent deeply, a content hum leaving his lips as he wraps himself around you, tangling his legs with yours and pulling you closer until there’s no space left between you. The warmth of his body seeps into yours, and you can feel the steady rhythm of his heartbeat against you.
“Was starting to think I’d have to spell it out for you,” he murmurs, breath fanning your skin, sending a pleasant shiver down your spine.
A light and airy laugh escapes your lips as you become engrossed in his warmth.
 “Well, I mean... you’ve always been a bit of a mystery,” you tease, your fingers tracing idle patterns on the back of his hand where it rests against your stomach.
“Hmm, a mystery, huh?” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your shoulder, sending a ripple of warmth through you. “Maybe… but I think you’ve always had the key, even if you didn’t know it.”
You turn slightly in his arms, bringing a hand up to gently run your fingers through his hair, the soft strands slipping through your fingers like silk as you gaze into his eyes. Your heart swells at the way he leans into your touch, as if he savors each trace of you, and there’s a tenderness in the way his eyes hold yours.
And then, his lips curl into a wry smile, mischief dancing in his eyes.
“Mm… told you you’d fall for my charm. Though I will say, you were a tough one to crack.”
You try to fight the smile threatening to break free as a warmth spreads across your face. It’s crazy to think this man was once the bane of your very existence.
“Tch…you have a way of growing on people, y’know that?” The grin on his face widens at your admission, making the heat in your own face intensify. You huff, rolling your eyes as you nudge him lightly with your elbow. “You’re like a persistent, overly confident weed.”
Satoru laughs. “A weed, huh? That’s a new one,” he sounds mock-offended, though his smirk tells you he’s anything but. His hand shifts, trailing up and down your arm tenderly as his fingers lightly brush your skin. “Mmm let's see…I think I’m more like a rare, exotic flower.”
“Oh please,” you scoff, eyes sparkling with amusement. “You’re more like those persistent kind of weeds that pops up in the cracks of the sidewalk, no matter how many times you try to get rid of them.”
“Persistent, huh? Well I suppose I’ll take that as a compliment,” his tone softens as his hand trails down your arm, the warmth of his touch leaving a trail of fire in its wake until his fingers find yours, threading them together as he interlocks your hands in a gentle, but secure grasp.
“Guess I’ll just have to keep growing on you until you can’t imagine your life without me,” he murmurs—thumb gently stroking the back of your hand—and your breath hitches at the sincerity in his words.
Satoru treats you like a treasure, something to be cherished and protected.
How did you get so lucky?
He’s everything Naoya isn’t—everything you’ve ever wanted but were too afraid to hope for.
But even as the realization crosses your mind, a pang of guilt twists in your chest. You’ve been keeping something from him, something important, something that could change everything. Naoya’s scheme, his attempts to ruin Satoru’s reputation… it’s been eating away at you, gnawing at your conscience every time Satoru looks at you with those warm, trusting eyes.
But the thought terrifies you—what if it changes everything? What if it drives a wedge between you?
You need to tell him. He deserves to know.
No secrets.
You can’t keep hiding the truth. Not if you want to move forward, not if you want to build something real with him.
“Hey,” you begin softly, your voice barely above a whisper as you pull back slightly to look into his eyes. The tenderness in his gaze gives you the strength to continue. “There’s something I need to tell you… something important.”
Satoru’s expression shifts immediately from the seriousness of your tone, his brow knitting together in concern as his eyes dim.
“What is it?”
Oh fuck. This is it. No backing down now.
You take a deep breath, and though your heart pounds in your chest, Satoru’s gentle grip tightens on your hand, offering you the silent support to continue.
“It’s about Naoya…” you begin, voice trembling slightly as you hesitantly hold his gaze.
The tension in Satoru's face is subtle but unmistakable. You briefly catch sight of his jaw tightening, a muscle jumping beneath the skin at the mere mention of Naoya’s name. Swallowing hard, your throat constricts with effort as you struggle to find the right words.
“There’s… something I’ve been keeping from you… and I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but I was scared. I didn’t know what to do.”
Satoru’s eyes widen just a fraction, his brows drawing together slightly in concern, but he remains silent—he doesn’t interrupt, doesn’t demand an explanation. Instead, he watches you intently, his gaze locked onto yours, a silent encouragement to continue.
But that intensity in his focus only makes your heart pound harder in your chest, each beat a drum of anxiety.
Here goes nothing.
“He’s been… blackmailing me,” you confess, eyes falling to the side, unable to hold his gaze. “He’s trying to ruin your reputation, to drag your name through the mud…and if I don’t do what he says…”
The words die on your lips as you trail off.
Fuck this is overwhelming.
This entire night has been a rollercoaster, and you’re reaching the breaking point of your own emotional endurance. You expect Satoru to say something, but the silence that follows is deafening.
Each beat of your heart is like a hammer in your chest, and your mind is racing with a thousand different fears.
Is he angry? Is he waiting for you to look at him? Is this it? Is this the moment everything falls apart?
Summoning every ounce of courage you have left, you will yourself to look up, to meet Satoru’s eyes. And yes, there’s anger simmering in the depths of his gaze, a dangerous edge to it, but there’s something else too—something softer.
“What will happen if you don’t do what he says?” he asks, voice gentle yet firm. His thumb brushes soothing circles on the back of your hand with a tenderness, urging you to continue. “What exactly is he threatening you with?”
You take a deep, shaky breath, feeling the lump in your throat swell as you struggle to push the words out.
“He’s trying to take Haru away from me… he’s threatening to file for full custody if I don’t cooperate.”
The impact of your words is immediate—Satoru’s entire demeanor changing in an instant.
His expression hardens, the fury in his eyes flaring to life, unmistakable and searing, and his entire body tenses beside you. A shiver rakes down your spine when you hear the low and dangerous promise slip through his lips.  
“He’s going to regret this.”
Before you can even process his words, he pulls you onto his chest, wrapping his arms around you with a fierce protectiveness that catches you off guard. It is almost startling how the gentle way he holds you is juxtaposed with the anger simmering just beneath the surface, and as his fingers begin to thread through your hair while he cradles you close to him, you feel he is shielding you from the very world that threatens to tear you apart.
“He’s not taking Haru from you,” Satoru vows, voice unwavering, a promise etched in steel. “Not over my dead body.”
Ah…the conviction in his voice—the words you needed to hear—it is your breaking point. Finally, everything crashes down on you. The fear, the guilt, the overwhelming relief that you’re no longer carrying this burden alone—it all hits you at once, and you can’t hold back the quiet sob that escapes your lips.
Satoru tightens his hold on you, one hand gently stroking your hair, the other trailing up and down your trembling frame as he whispers reassurances.
“Hey, it’s okay… we’re going to get through this.”
His heartbeat is a steady and comforting rhythm beneath your ear. You nod weakly as a shaky breath escapes your lips, the sound muffled against his chest, and he presses a kiss to the top of your head, lips lingering for a moment.
“When did this all begin?” he whispers, fingers gently massaging your scalp.
“Two days ago…” you murmur, “right before you agreed to watch Haru for me.”
There’s a moment of silence, a brief pause as Satoru processes your words. You feel the subtle hitch in his breath, the soft exhale that follows as he tries to contain the emotions swirling inside him. He pulls back just enough to look at you, and your heart drops at his expression.
“y/n…” he breathes out, low and thick with emotion as his jaw clenches with tension. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
The ache in your chest is unbearable, and the tears begin to prick at your eyes again. Unable to face the underlying look of his own disappointment, you instinctively look away.
“I was scared and confused… I didn’t think you felt the same way about me,” you admit, voice barely above a whisper. “And I kept thinking about our contract…about your condition…”
Satoru’s body softens underneath you as he gently tilts your chin up, forcing you to meet his gaze, and what you find there isn’t disappointment, but understanding—a deep, unwavering understanding that cuts through your doubts like a beacon of light in the darkness.
“y/n, there is no contract when it comes to how I feel about you,” he murmurs, his thumb brushing away a lingering tear that slipped down your cheek. “That contract… it was just a piece of paper. Besides, it’s void now because I broke the clause.” His lips curve into a soft, reassuring smile. “What I feel for you… it’s real. And it’s not something that can be defined by a contract.”
His words are like a balm to your wounded heart, soothing the fear that had been gnawing at you.
Why did you doubt him so much? Is it because this is a love you have only hoped for? But now it’s real—it’s yours.
A shaky exhale escapes your lips as you rest your forehead against his.
“I’m sorry,” you whisper, voice trembling. “I should have told you sooner.”
“Shh, it’s okay,” Satoru soothes, his hands moving up to cradle your face. “I understand why you were scared. But we’re in this together, okay? Naoya’s not going to win.”
His hands gently tilt your face upwards, and before you can respond, he leans in, capturing your lips in a tender kiss. His lips move slowly, languidly against yours, savoring the moment, and you melt into the kiss, your hands finding their way to his chest, feeling the steady thump of his heart beneath your fingertips.
When he finally pulls back, his forehead rests against yours once more, and you linger there in the aftermath, letting the warmth of his breath fan across your lips, the closeness between you wrapping around you like a cocoon. A content sigh escapes your lips as the tension from everything slowly ebbs away, and you lower yourself onto his chest as Satoru’s fingers gently trail up and down your back.
Finally, everything has been laid bare. No secrets. Just the two of you, connected in a way that feels unbreakable.
But then, Satoru shifts slightly beneath you, “You’re shivering,” he murmurs, voice laced with concern as his hand moves to gently rub your arm, trying to warm you up. “We were out in the rain for too long…”
You hadn’t even noticed—your focus had been so consumed by everything else. Now that the adrenaline of the moment has begun to fade, you realize how cold you are, and how you’re both still in your underwear. The chill from the rain has started to seep into your bones.
“You should take a warm bath, get comfortable,” Satoru suggests, loving but insistent as he brushes a few stray strands of wet hair away from your face, tucking them gently behind your ear. “It’s been a long day, and we have to wake up early to get home to Haru. You can go first. Go on, I’ll wait for you here.”
You nod, reluctantly pulling away from the warmth of his embrace as you make your way to the bathroom.
The hot water feels like a balm against your chilled skin, and you take your time, letting the warmth seep into your bones and soothe the lingering tension in your muscles. It’s a quiet, reflective moment—an opportunity to process everything that’s happened. As the steam rises around you, you feel the weight of the day slowly lift from your shoulders.
After finishing your bath, you slip into the comfortable pajamas the hotel provided and find yourself wrapped up cozily under the blankets in the bed, waiting for Satoru as he takes his turn getting cleaned up next. The room is quiet—the rain outside has finally settled down as the once insistent pattering is now reduced to a soft, comforting drum against the window. You let your eyes drift closed for a moment, savoring the tranquility and the subtle scent of Satoru that lingers on the pillow beside you.
Tonight, has been exhausting—so much has happened, and it’s a lot to take in.
When Satoru finally emerges from the bathroom, he is dressed in the comfortable hotel linens, hair slightly damp and tousled. He flashes you a tender smile, one that makes your heart skip a beat, and you can’t help but smile back, warmth spreading through you.
But instead of joining you in the bed as you would expect, you watch with growing curiosity as he makes his way towards the closet. Propping yourself up on your elbow, you tilt your head slightly, your brows knitting together in confusion.
“What are you doing?” you observe him gather extra blankets and pillows, tucking them under his arm.
Satoru glances over his shoulder, offering you a small, almost apologetic smile.
“I’m, uh… gonna sleep on the couch tonight,” he says casually, as if it’s the most natural thing in the world.
You blink, taken aback by his words, and a frown tugs at your lips.
“Why? You don’t have to do that. The bed’s big enough for both of us.”
He hesitates, as if weighing his words carefully.
“Y/n,” he begins, low and rough, “Believe me, I really want to,” he lets out a sigh and scratches the back of his head. “You have… too much of an effect on me. I meant it when I said we could take things slow, but if I’m lying next to you, I don’t know if I can control myself.”
His admission sends a warm flush to your face, your heart skipping a beat at the honesty in his words. You see the tension in his shoulders, the way he’s struggling to do what he thinks is right, even though it’s clearly not what he wants.
“Satoru…” you begin, your voice softening as you start to sit up, but he shakes his head gently, cutting you off before you can say more.
“If you want to take it slow, it’s probably for the best I give us some space to figure things out without making it harder than it already is.”
Damnit, he is too cute for his own good.
For a moment, you’re tempted to tell him to stay, to ignore the rules you’ve set for yourself, to just give in to the pull between you. The warmth of his presence, the comfort of his touch—it’s all so inviting. But you can also see how much he’s trying to do right by you, to honor your wishes, even if it means sacrificing what he wants.
“Okay,” you say softly, your teeth gently grazing your bottom lip as you consider your next words, “but just know that although I want to go slow, it doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t mind… doing things with you.”
Satoru lets out a groan, closing his eyes briefly as if battling with himself.
“You’re not making this easy, you know that?”
“Mm… never said I would,” you challenge, a playful glint flickering in your eyes as a crooked grin tugs at your lips.
He chuckles, tinged with both amusement and exasperation.
“I swear you’re gonna be the death of me,” he mutters, shaking his head slightly, but the smile that accompanies his words is soft, filled with affection.
The two of you share a quiet laugh, soft and intimate, like a shared secret. As the laughter fades, a comfortable silence settles over you both. His gaze locks with yours, and for a moment, time seems to stand still. The intensity in his eyes, the way they darken with something deeper, makes your breath hitch.
“Goodnight, Satoru,” you murmur as you settle yourself back into the pillows.
“Goodnight, y/n,” his smile widens as his gaze lingers on you for a moment longer before he turns to leave the room. “If you need anything,” he adds, pausing at the door, “you know where to find me.”
As the door softly clicks shut behind him, you’re left alone in the dimly lit room—left to your thoughts.
Tomorrow holds so much for the both of you—decisions to be made, obstacles to overcome, and a new chapter in your lives to navigate together.
For the first time in what feels like forever, you don’t feel alone. The burden isn’t yours to carry anymore. The thought brings a sense of peace, a calm that wraps around you as you pull the blankets closer, cocooning yourself in their warmth.
There’s still so much left unresolved, and the threat of Naoya looms large. But tonight, as you drift off to sleep, all you can think about is the way Satoru looked at you, the promise in his eyes that you’ll face whatever comes next together.
And somehow, that alone makes everything seem a little less daunting.
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a/n. hi hi, thank you all so much for your kind words with this fic and for sticking around. this chapter was a lot for me to write, and i really kept second guessing it tbh. i think bc it's such a pivotal point in the story and it's pretty emotional, so i really wanna thank my lovely beta readers for helping me 💕 (@strychnynegirl & @gojoslefttoenail) hmm... who is this mysterious man that approached y/n at the gala? 🤔 i wonder if you guys can take a guess based on the description 😉 also of COURSE there is only ✨one bed✨ how can there NOT be? 🤭 i had a lot of fun writing their steamy kiss 😩 as much as i wanted them to do more i also wanna reiterate how much the slow burn in this story means to me. idk, with everything going on in y/n's life it didn't feel right for her to be like "cool lets fuck." especially since she still needed to tell satoru the truth, plus she is a mom with a kid and has been through a really shitty relationship. trust isn't something that just POOF appears yk? thanks for all your kind words and for reading!! school has been picking up for me, so again my updates will likely be longer in between. love you all 🥹 -aly 💕 → onto the next chapter ꨄ
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taglist :
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@poopypipi @painted-hills @stillserene @mira-lol @k-kkiana
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strawberrystepmom · 4 months ago
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dante x f!reader. established...something. reader is a magic anthropologist and they're both in their thirties. this is full of cringe banter and innuendo i'm so sawryyyyyyy | wc 1.6k, reading time: 7 minutes.
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“What are you doing here?”
You’ve been aware of Dante’s slow creep down the aisle of the largest archive of metaphysical knowledge this godforsaken place has to offer for some time. You finally call out to him across messy stacks of books.
Foolishly, you hoped he wouldn’t make a game out of this. He strides up to you confidently, clearly thrilled to finally have forced you to be the first to break. This is familiar territory for you and him both, where all of your “career” related activities are conducted and where he comes to find you when he’s looked everywhere else without a trace.
Leaning against the shelf, he folds his arms over his chest and tilts his head to the side.
“I’m researching obviously.”
You look up from the shelf in front of you with a raised brow only to be met with a pair of familiar eyes trained directly at the curve of your chest and whatever peak of skin is pushed up over your neckline. 
“Yeah, researching how far you can look down my shirt from that grand height you stand at.”
Caught, the gunslinger’s eyes drift toward your face without an ounce of shame in them. 
“And what about it?”
Your stance shifts from flat footed to standing on your tiptoes, arm extended high above your head with your thumb and forefinger reaching toward the tip of his nose to flick it. As sharply reflexed as he has ever been, he dodges the attack and captures your hand in his, spreading your fingers and pressing the heel of your hand against his lips.
Allowing him a moment to sniff your wrist and shoot his best half lidded glance downward, you end it quickly by snatching your arm from his grasp and placing it down at your side. A flaming face that belongs to you turns back toward the shelves to hide your thrill at his public flirtation, insisting upon keeping things polite while you’re working billable hours.
“What do you need, Dante?”
He wishes he could press another kiss at the delicate bend of your wrist.
“A break. A drink. Lots and lots and lots of money. Right now though? Information.”
Sighing, he leans against the bookshelf and holds out his forearms for you to place the ever growing stack you’re working with upon. Wrinkling your nose, you look between him and the books and he holds out his arms and shakes his head leaving you optionless. 
“What about?” You stack a book and then another, looking up at him to find him already staring down at you. “God don’t look at me like that, just tell me what you want.”
Chuckling, he shakes his head.
“Well, you, of course.” 
It takes all of your strength not to turn and walk away if only to be left alone from his tormenting. You’re good at holding your own, especially against the gruff figures who come to you in search of knowledge of demonology or the magical arts you’ve so raptly committed your life to seeking and holding yet it’s different with Dante.
The two of you have been very good friends since the spring of your early twenties. You’ve, at the very least, slept together for almost that entire time too - entering your thirties in each other’s arms. Constantly picking each other’s brains, running from each other when things got rough and back toward each other when they’ve improved or the lonely nights wouldn’t abate on their own. He’s almost sort of a…companion despite your distaste for defining characteristics.
A boyfriend who lives a life too dangerous for attachment, his very clear one to you cast aside. A man you think about when you wake and sleep both, hoping he’ll visit your dreams on the off chance he isn’t by your side. 
Enough of that. You clear your throat to feign impatience and force him to answer.
“I need to borrow that brain and how good you are at figuring out where to find shit in here.”
Laughing, you raise both of your brows.
“It’s alphabetical. Did you forget your letters or what?”
He leans downward, a larger frame closing in and you sidestep him slightly, pretending preoccupation with the books on the portion of the shelf in front of you.
“I forget everything when you’re around.”
Scoffing, you yank a book off of the shelf. “Okay now you’re laying it on a little too thick.”
Looking around the library, you know it’s futile to refuse him. There hasn’t been a moment in the past ten years you’ve told him no in any meaningful way and surely you won’t start today.
“I’m working—” he raises his eyebrows and gasps at the words, feigning shock and you shake your head to dissuade him from continuing with his show. Working is all you’ve seemed to be doing these days, spending days and nights alike with books spread across the small expanse of your apartment leaving little time for extracurricular fun. “But I can make time to help out if you promise you’ll let me handle the research I’m being paid for first.”
“I could pay you too, y’know. My methods may be a little unconventional compared to whatever this mysterious patron is paying you with,” he raises a brow and you roll your eyes. “You’d be rewarded very, very well if you’d only put the books down for one night.”
The innuendo is dripping from his every word. If you knew less about how much he meant what he’s saying perhaps you could play it off better yet your cheeks flame. You know how his rough hands feel at the base of your spine and the dip of your waist, swearing you can feel them drag across you. 
“Oh by the way, what’s the name of that demon you needed me to research?”
Attempting to gain a little bit of control over yourself and the situation, you change the subject and pretend you can’t taste him as clear as day in your mouth, memories doing more than you need them to right now.
“It’s, uh, H…” he trails off, giving up the effort of continuing his tall tale. Another sigh, another beat passes and he furrows his brows. 
You always manage to expertly cut him down to size, a curse and a blessing all at the same time. 
“I’ve been trying to see you for weeks, honey.”
You shake your head. “Days. It has been days since the last time we saw each other and you spent the night despite saying you were leaving before I passed out.”
No chance of wiggling out of this one.
“In my defense, they’ve felt like weeks. Months.”
Shoulders sagging, you lean forward and press yourself against the bookshelf and a pitiful excuse for a frown, the upturned corners of your mouth you can’t seem to put down any time he’s around giving you away. “Sorry for neglecting you. Unfortunately, a girl’s gotta eat and pay rent.”
Of course, there’s no offer made to assist you with either of those things considering he has to work pretty hard for both of them himself. 
“And while we’re discussing it, you don’t have to pay me with that.” 
If you weren’t in public you’d say what you mean - fucking - but it’s easier to simply allude to the late nights spent taking out your mutual grief and frustration with physical release when company you don’t know may be lurking around. Shaking your head, you turn your attention back to the shelves and stack another book atop the rest. 
“In fact, if we both had more of it to spare, just spending time with you would be payment enough.”
If he’s taken aback he does his best to hide it, shifting slightly and covering his face partially by turning it in the direction of the darkened other end of the aisle. 
“See, all this time I thought you only liked me for my body,” he lets slip.
Softly giggling, you pause all other movement besides the rise and fall of your chest and the focus of your gaze upon the man beside you though his gaze remains averted.
“Nah, I hate to say it but I enjoy your company most of all.”
Now he’s drawn back, looking at you with a bit of doubt clouding those steel blue eyes to which you notice and shrug at. “We have the best conversations. You make me laugh; you never make me feel like it’s inconvenient to liste–”
Your words are swallowed by Dante’s mouth before you can get them out. Those quick reflexes worked to bring him close to you before you could even notice, soft lips pressed against a slightly drier, rougher pair. 
“Well when you put it that way,” he mutters against your lips. You laugh against his mouth, lips curving perfectly into his. 
It’s all almost too sweet to bear. Strangely boyfriend-y for a man you’re so apprehensive to refer to as such. 
A stranger breezes past the two of you in the aisle and pretends not to gawk. Despite the hairs standing up on the back of your neck, you let the natural scrap of shame you have remaining go the way everything else does when Dante’s around.
It disappears, evaporates. Leaves only the two of you behind. 
“You can stick around if you don’t have anything better to do,” you tell him, finally breaking away.
Groaning, he redistributes the weight of the books across his arms and stands up so he’s no longer slouching.
“Can’t we take them back to your place?”
Shaking your head, you rap your knuckles against the heaviest metal spine bound book at the bottom of the pile.
“Nope, the rules dictate that this one stays here and I need it the most.”
Smirking, he leans in closer to you. “Then we’ll just have to have some fun here.”
Tossing another book atop the now chin height stack he’s carrying, you shoot him a look that says everything he needs to know. The private booth in the back the two of you occupied the last time he decided to bother you at work is available today.
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lymtw · 1 year ago
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Soft and Slow
Thinking of a soft and slow, but heated make out session with Toji, where he's got you beneath him, brushing his lips against yours with the intention of not stopping until both his lips and yours feel raw.
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One of his hands is on your waist, squeezing tenderly, while the other is in your panties, thick fingers rubbing slow circles on your clit. You're humming little whimpers into your kisses, pushing at his chest every once in a while and breaking the ongoing kiss.
"What, ma?" Toji asks, his voice deepened with restrained lust. His eyes are so dark, you can barely see the green that naturally brightens them. "Why're you pushing me away, hm?" He asks, kissing the corner of your lips.
"Please... slow down," you say, breathily. "I don't want this to end so soon."
"Baby, that was slow," he says, with an amused grin on his face. "Was being gentle and barely moved my fingers."
You sigh, embarrassment coursing through you and showing itself in your face through a bright shade of red that smothers your cheeks.
"Come on," he says, softly, leaning in again to continue where things were left off. Toji's lips lock with yours, the gentle synchronization egging on the pleasure he draws from you. He wasn't lying when he said he was barely moving his fingers. He just knows you've always been a sensitive little thing for him, and because of that, he loves testing your sensitivity in moments like these. Moments where even just the kissing part would have you squirming, and his weight on your body makes you need him so bad that you feel filthy for letting your thoughts of the situation evolve into something sinful.
"Kiss me back, princess," he murmurs, noticing the way you're heavily slowing down, not fully reciprocating his kisses like before.
"W-Wait-" you gasp, slapping a hand on Toji's wrist. "I'm gonna-"
"Then cum, sweetheart. We can do it again and again if that's what you're stressing over."
"Mm-mm." You shake your head to emphasize your response. "The first one is always the strongest. Please, Toji. Pretty please, not yet," you beg.
Toji has a look of strange disbelief painted on his features. How could you not want this? It's been going on for the better part of half an hour, now. The edging must be driving you crazy.
You pull his hand out of your underwear and the other one off your waist, bringing them both up to your lips. "Please, baby..." you murmur into his palms, kissing them both repeatedly. "...not yet. Just a little longer." You change the position of your hands and hold his hands tight, bringing his knuckles up to your lips this time.
Toji clicks his tongue, making it clear that he's the one who's being impatient. He just wants to see and hear the side effects of your pleasure. You're teasing him with those little whimpers and gasps between kisses. The reason it's so hard to bear is because he's so used to you giving him what he wants, when he wants it. This is one of the rare times where you're trying to stand your ground against him. You always hope you have enough willpower to keep up your defense because Toji knows every way to sneak through it or tear it down. Your love for him is a severe disadvantage, and because of it, all it takes is a few words and it's as if your defense was made of flimsy paper.
"Alright, alright, little masochist. I'll slow down even more, for you."
You giggle at the nickname, welcoming Toji's weight on you again. He makes a brief detour and directs himself towards your ear to whisper some much needed information.
"I'm not going any slower than this, you understand?" He mutters, into your ear.
"But-"
"Princess," he says, cutting you off. "It's yes or no. Do you understand or not?" he asks, stomping all over your wants because for once his needs outshine them. You nod, silently, in response. "Good." He pecks your cheek, leaning back to look at you. You look... not all there, or at least not like you did just seconds ago. It's not what he wanted. He sighs, knowing what it's gonna have to come down to as he cups your cheeks in his warm hands. He knows there has to be a different approach. One that doesn't involve him making you feel like you were in the wrong for wanting him in a specific way.
"Wanna cum? For me, mama?"
There he went, tearing down your defenses like they're party streamers. For me. Those two simple words were all he needed. He knew exactly how to catch you in his trap. Redirection was key. If he made it seem like a favor to him, you would do it with zero hesitation. It's one of the many pros that came with you and your constant need for his praise... He just knew you too well. Well enough to know that it worked the second the twinkle in your eyes returned.
"I'll take it slow, just like you wanted," he promises. "but, you can't push me away. Even if I bring you to the edge with that same pace you begged for." He knows he'll bring you to orgasm even with the limited movement you allow him.
There was a beam of tranquility in your eyes, a twitch in the corners of your lips, where the key to unlock the two words you strived to hear as many times as you could in a day, rested. It was only a matter of seconds before you would give in. You were right there, centimeters away from his clutches.
"Mama..." he says, pushing for you to answer him while leaning towards your lips again. "Let me make you cum," he says against the corner of your lips, a devilish smirk on his face.
"Fuck- Fine, okay," you say, waving your imaginary white flag.
"Mhm... that's my good girl."
And there they were, those two words you forever longed to hear from Toji. If he wanted you to be on the edge again, he did a great job of getting you there without having to do much.
Toji centered his lips on yours again, starting out with that same slow rhythm, as to not rile you up so quickly. He incorporated his touch a couple minutes later, his hands returning to the previous positions they held on your body—one on your bare waist, the other slipped into your underwear. You jolted at the reintroduced stimulation his fingers offered your clit, a sharp gasp breaking the passionate kissing.
"Shh... It's okay, doll," he murmured, quickly directing your attention back to his lips. He was feeding off your breathy moans and whimpers. If he hadn't pressed you so hard before with the promise of pacing himself with you, he would have gone back on his word and quickly made you cum so that he could work you up to the next orgasm, already.
Truly, you were heaven in his ears, on his lips, and in his hands. Despite not looking at you, he knew the sight to be insane, as well.
Your hands went to the sheets, the material balling up messily in your fists as Toji brought you closer to your peak. You did your best to keep up with his lips, but nothing was as clear as the strokes being drawn between your legs.
By the four minute mark, you were a panting mess, shamelessly chasing more friction from his whole hand. That's where the hand he had resting on your waist came into play. It lowered down to your hip, immobilizing you enough to stop you from taking more than what he was offering until he gave you permission.
"Be good," he mutters, cutting through the soft sounds of your whimpers. He knew you were close. So, so close. Your moans were getting higher in pitch and you were trembling beneath him. He just kept rubbing his fingertips against your clit, over and over, bringing a lingering—echoing sensation throughout your entire cunt. You completely fell apart after a few more strokes, each more pressurized than the other until you snapped. You lost the ability to kiss Toji back when he used the entirety of his hand on you, cupping your cunt to draw out as much of your pleasure as he could. Your head was thrown back into the pillow, waterfalls of lewd moans and cries filling the room. "There you go, mama," he coos, allowing you some freedom to roll your hips against his hand. He presses quick kisses into your jaw and the column of your neck as your face is aimed towards the ceiling.
You surpassed the zenith of your pleasure and in time treaded towards more than you could handle. You nonverbally begged Toji to stop, wrapping your much smaller hands around his forearm. A couple whimpers and squeaks of overstimulation were required for him to slow down to a halt, even after your quivering thighs trapped his hand between them.
Your eyes fell shut and you sighed, contentedly. Toji observed your state of bliss, a shade of pink dusting lightly over his cheeks. You looked so pretty, lying there on the pillow for him. He can see you clearly, despite the curtains being shut to keep your little world safe inside. This allows nothing and no one to peek in, not even the moon and its guiding light. You're more brilliant than the moon, anyway. Much prettier, as well. It doesn't take a genius to establish this, especially when you look at Toji with all the stars in your eyes.
"Let's go again."
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simpee9000 · 11 months ago
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Not Just Friends - 5 -
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M.List : Prologue : Part 1 : Part 2 : Part 3 : Part 4 : Not edited : 10k words !!!
Childhood best friends turned into something more, at least with the label. Katsuki Bakugo, a fast-rising hero and fast-learning guy who is ever so slow in getting attached to and loving someone. Even three long years into a relationship, and your friends even forget you're even dating. Nothing happening, spare a few kisses.. like 3 kisses, during high school. Graduated and living together, and you guys have done absolutely nothing to further the relationship. Are you sure you're not just friends? CW: Smut, brief domestic violence discussion, virginity loss, aggressive flirting from creeps, gore with pro hero stuff (lmk if i missed any) Applies to all chapters regardless of it is in said chapter.
Katsuki and his closest friend decided to make a tradition of camping during the summer. The group mainly just inviting themselves in on his hiking trips and making it a bigger deal. You remember at first that he looked at you for help, only finding that you were already discussing with Mina about sharing a tent. You and the girls all shared a tent that year, in celebration of graduation.
But now, only a year later, the tradition stuck. It was beginning of August and the group of you were all getting packed. Preparing to meet at the camping site at separate times due to schedule errors. It was a small campground in all, you only knew of it if a local told you, so you had no idea how Katsuki got on the good side of a local, but he did. It was barely in service, just enough for phone calls, but Katsuki had a strict no phone rule.
Despite him being a grump about everything, the campground is beautiful, a lake in the middle of it all but surrounded by many different hiking routes. You were excited to spend this camping trip next him rather than the girls, curious about all the ins-and-outs of this campground.
You often tagged along next to him for his hikes, it was the main way you guys spent your off days. He always needed something to do, and you wanted to be near him, so you followed.
It created countless stories between you two, either inside jokes about one falling over a tree or just the deep conversations you shared as you hiked the trail.
After the hour drive out of the city, you were met with the lush campgrounds. It was just as breathtaking as last year. Just being in view of it, lifted a weight off your shoulders. It felt like you could breathe better overall.
The two of you were the first ones there. Arriving just before sunset. The rest of the group said they'd be here soon. You attempted to convince Katsuki to wait so you could share a ride with Kirishima and Mina, but he was too impatient.
Once your foot was out of the car, Katsuki started handing you things to set up. Giving you some of the tents he brought and to place them near the already made fire pit. He brought most of the camping supplies for the group, everyone else would just have to bring the things that they wanted.
You decided to wait to put up the tents until others got here, unsure of the pairing. So you and Katsuki got to work on putting up the fold up tables and some chairs out. Grabbing the ice chest filled of your food and setting it near the camp fire, which Katsuki quickly had going. Thankfully the campsite sold firewood, so you had no worries of running out.
The rumble of Kirishima's super duty truck made you turn you're head. Soon enough Mina barreled out of the truck and came running to you.
"Hi," she squeeze you into a hug, "Haven't seen you since the party!" You squeezed her back, it has been a while since you've seen her, the party was almost a month ago.
"Of course you guys show up after we finish setting everything up," Katsuki grumbled, dragging his feet as he walked to Kirishima's truck to help grab ice chests.
Kirishima gave a cheeky smile, rubbing the back of his neck, "Sorry man, I'm free to help now though."
"Whatever," Katsuki scoffed.
Kirishima gave you a wave, "Anything I can help with?"
You looked around, finally pushing Mina away from the hug, "We haven't set up any tents, so maybe that? I just don't know who's sharing and stuff yet."
Kirishima and Mina shared a quick glance, turning a shy red in their cheeks. "Well," Mina dragged out, "E and I are sharing, Bakugo and you are sharing, so we can start there."
"Wait," you paused them confused, embarrassed about sharing a tent with Katsuki.
"Huh?" Kirishima turned towards the tents laying on the ground, "Denki and Sero can share, I doubt they mind. They can set up another if hey have that big of an issue."
"We only packed three air mattresses," you pointed out.
"They've shared a bed before, it's fine. They're bros," Kirishima shrugged. He wasn't getting the point. You looked to find were Katsuki went and saw him grabbing stuff from Kirishima's truck, not having heard a lick of the conversation.
By the time you look back over to Kirishima, him and Mina were already off to the side of the campsite and setting up their tent. Mina struggling to stand as she laughed, hitting Kirishima with the tent pole constantly.
It was enduring to see them mess around, especially since they were finally getting ahold of their relationship. Both of them have been struggling with a label since the second year.
You looked back at Katsuki, who grabbed all he needed from the truck and was now crouched and working on the fire again. You walked over to stand next to him, bumping his shoulder lightly with your hip to get his attention, "We needa set up our tent."
He scrunched his eye brows, looking over to were the tent were then to were Kirishima was. "They sharing?" he nodded his head in their direction. You hummed, rocking on the ball of your feet, stuffing your hands in your pockets. This felt odd.
" Okay," he stood up, brushing the remains of wood of his hands. You stepped away slightly, giving him room to stand without bumping into you. "Where do ya' want it?"
You looked around the campsite. It was quite big, plenty of space for anything. Trees lined the dirt center that was meant for parking cars and the rest of the camping supplies. Where the trees lined the dirt, there was plenty of open grass plots for a tent. Kirishima and Mina already taking one of the grass plots near the cars. So you walked to the other side, leaving the ones in the middle for the boys to chose.
Katsuki picked up the tent and followed you, dropping the tent bag where you stopped. It was quite the distance from the cars so you would have to move the car briefly so you could blow up the air mattress.
You went to unzip the bag, handing Katsuki the poles to connect together while you pulled out the actual tent to space out. Switching jobs so he could anker it to the ground. You quickly saw why Mina was laughing so hard. The pole you were connecting broke apart in one spot and swung to hit Katsuki in the back of the head.
He wiped his head around, "The fuck?" he barked at you. You hunched over laughing, his face was so mad, it was as if you took a dogs bone. "Asshat," he grumbled, turning to finish the last anker. Before snatching the pole from your hand and threading it through the tent. Ordering you to help connect it on the other side despite you still laughing slightly at him.
The two of you did the other side without much issue, putting the rain cover up as well as threading the pole over the door to keep it steady. He quickly trudged off to bring the car. Mina joining your side as you two watched Katsuki set up the air mattress. "I hate tents," she grumbled.
You looked at her tent, seeing it messily set up, all their stuff being thrown in as well, fully set up. "Why?" you asked.
"Can't really make noise if y'know what I mean," she wiggled her brows, nudging her arm into yours.
"I better not hear that," you made a face of disgust.
"Same to you," Mina laughed, "Though I am curious as t-"
"Don't," you raised your hand to stop her, "I don't even want to know."
Katsuki called you over to the tent, currently fighting with the air mattress.
"What even happened?" you laughed the second you peaked inside the tent, he was currently struggling to get the air pump connected to the air mattress.
"Can't find the hole," he sighed frustrated.
Mina erupted into laughter, "That's what she said!"
You stifled a laugh, moving Katsuki to the side as you pushed the mattress into a better angle. Getting the mattress blown up easily. Katsuki getting out of the tent to place the bedding and your guys stuff in the tent to the side. It was a large tent, plenty of space for you to stand up straight, Katsuki only had to slouch slightly to not hit his head in the middle.
He moved the car and left you to set up the bedding once the mattress was fully inflated it. Knowing it go cold at night you threw a large open sleeping bag over the top of the mattress to sleep on top of, knowing that the air mattress would be insanely cold otherwise. Just throwing your pillows at the end of the bed and then half-assly throwing heavy blankets on top before shuffling out of the tent, hearing Sero and Denki pull up, music blasting.
Katsuki was instantly barking orders at them.
"Chill man, we brought the booze," Denki laughed, opening the truck and pulling out a cooler, Sero doing the same.
"How fucking much are you planning to drink?" Katsuki went wide eyed at the two full coolers of booze.
"We'll probably have to buy more," Sero shrugged.
"Huh? How?" Katsuki looked dumb founded.
"I mean," Sero pointed and count the group, "there six of us, five of us wanting to get drunk nightly this weekend. We all need to drink a lot to get drunk as well."
Katsuki whiped his head to you, "You drinkin'?"
You shrugged, "I mean yeah- wait Sero?"
"Yeah?" he looked up from where he was fishing a beer out of the cooler.
"Did you pack my wine?" you stepped closer to him.
"In the car," he nodded towards the car. You quickly skipping over and grabbing a bottle to drink for the night. Katsuki was busy yelling at everyone to watch how much they drunk, they still had work monday.
Mina groaned at him, lulling her head over to you, "Can you get the stick out of his ass? He's acting like he hasn't been laid in years."
Your face flushed but you laughed to cover it, "I think it's too far up there for me to help."
"Fuck off," he barked at the two of you, causing you to laugh harder.
The group was standing around the fire, Katsuki making sure it stayed steady. Once you got the wine bottle open you joined them, taking the seat next to Katsuki, stretching your legs onto his arm rest of the chair, knowing he wouldn't mind.
"Y'know, sometimes I forget you two are dating," Denki point at finger between you and Katsuki, that same hand also bringing a beer up to his mouth to take a swig. "I only remember when you do shit like that," he gestured to your legs.
"What do you mean?" you tilted your head.
"Well he'd kill anyone else for that," Denki shrugged.
"Ah yes, you bagged quite a man, one that'd kill some one from breathing wrong," Mina laughed at you.
You flushed, embarrassed that even the ones closest to you barely saw the relationship. You looked over to see how Katsuki took the joke, seeing him staring intently at the fire. Poking at it with a fire stick.
"What's our plan for tomorrow?" you looked around the group, taking a sip of wine straight from the bottle. Wanting to skip past any talk about your relationship.
"I'm going for a hike," Katsuki said, setting down the fire stick and leaning into his chair, arms cross.
"Okay," you dragged out, seeing if anyone would add their plans. When no one added you continued, "So Kats and I are going for a hike in the morning, then we'll be back and we can all go to the lake?" you suggested.
"Sounds good, I would go with but I need sleep, works been rough," Kirishima sent an apology to Katsuki, only to be shrugged off.
"Have you been taking better care of your support gear?" you nagged at him, annoyed about the amount of times you've fixed it just this month.
"Yes mom," he groaned.
"Oh shut your mouth," you scolded. The group laughed at your bickering with Kirishima.
The group quickly fell into an banter, all thankful they got the weekend off from hero work. Glad they could escape out of the city. It was refreshing. The view of the camp ground and their faces. They looked a least a little more carefree than normal. Tonight was the calm of the camping trip, tomorrow night would be all chatter and drunk games. It was only Friday night and you guys would be staying till Sunday, with work on Monday. It was a short get away but it was all the agencies could agree too. Everyone already ate their meals during the drive here, so all that was to do was set up.
By the time the fire was out, Sero and Denki still hadn't put their tent up. They'd have to do it drunk and in the dark. Katsuki was already well past tired and demanded to get up early, so you couldn't join them. So you had Kirishima promise to watch for them.
With the rest of the group taken care of, you and Katsuki walked off into your tent. Well he walked, you stumbled and grabbed onto his arm, drunk from drinking the whole wine bottle. He unzipped the door of the tent, holding it open for you and closing it behind himself.
"What side y'want?" Katsuki huffed, reaching for his backpack.
You looked at the options for a moment, "The one near the tent wall, I don't wanna be by the door."
"Ight," he was still digging through his bag. You walked over to your side, just about to sit down before he yelled at you, "The fuck y'doing? Change your clothes, I don't want our bed to smell like wine and campfire."
"But you literally smell like a campfire," you pointed out, "And I don't smell like wine."
"I saw you spill it over yourself, and I don't care. Change," he ordered.
"How am I supposed to change with you in here," you grumbled back at him.
"I'll turn around and so will you," he pointed out blandly.
So after grabbing your pjs, you both turned around and changed. You felt the urge to turn and catch a look but you knew that it'd be all you thought of. You laughed slightly to yourself, amused that you've been dating for three years but have yet to change near each other.
"What?"
Your head almost spun to look at him, but you remembered before you did, "Nothin."
"Why'd you laugh?" he asked differently.
You sighed, " Just the fact we are turned away from each other right now," you shrugged your pj shirt over your head, unhooking your bra from underneath it, just in case.
"Want to watch me get naked?" he teased.
A hot wave flashed through you, "Shuddup," you coughed out after a moment. Quickly putting on your sleep shorts. "You done yet?"
"Have been for a minute," he replied. With the okay to turn around, you quickly climbed into bed. Only then did it sink in that you'd be sharing a bed for the first time. Seeing him lift the covers and joined you excited you. It was a first, and it was thrilling, even if it was just sleep.
"Y'know," you moved closer to where he got comfortable, "We've never shared a bed."
"I'm aware," he peered down at you. He had his head rested on the pillow, arms above his head as he laid on his hands.
"It's weird," you whispered, like you were admitting a secret. You moved yourself to lay onto your stomach, propping yourself up with your arms.
"How?" he asked softly, matching your tone. He adjusted himself, getting into a better position to look at you. Even in the dark, you could see his vibrant red eyes peering at you.
"Like," you looked away from him, overwhelm, picking at the blanket that was over your shoulders, "Feels different, we live together but we don't share a bed, but now we are. Feels like a new step without the other foundations in a way."
"What other foundations would we need?"
"Well none I guess, but we didn't choose this one fully," you shrugged.
"I knew we were going to share, did you not?" he nudged your calf with his leg, grabbing your attention.
"Not really, I'm happy we are, just," you paused, "I don't know."
You heard Denki and Sero laughing from their tent, clearly in a struggle to set it up.
"I get it," Katsuki said after a moment, "Feels like we are doing things in a weird order."
"Yeah," you yawned.
"Go to bed," he order softly.
"Goodnight," you muttered, plopping your head onto your pillow.
"Night."
---
Katsuki woke you up just before sunrise, slightly shaking your arm till you woke up. He already has his hiking bag made, filled with stuff for the both of you. Shoving you a granola bar and a protein shake before he left you to change.
After slipping into some pants, aware of the brisk mornings. Katsuki having warned you while you packed. With your legs warm, you threw on a tank-top with a hoodie over it. Tying your shoes before fighting your way out of the tent, meeting Katsuki at the end of the campsite road.
"Finally," he immediately stepped off, following the tree line. Having you jog slightly to catch up to him.
"Do you sleep okay?" you questioned, worried you kicked him or something in your sleep.
"Yeah," he replied. Well, at least he didn't sleep bad. "You?" he looked over at you briefly, before looking back up, turning into a trail that went out of the main camping area.
"Yep, best in a while actually," you followed him.
The two of you fell into a comfortable silence, trailing through the forest. The trail seemed like it faded in and out, clearly not used often enough to keep a path.
Leaves brushed past your pants as you walked through, following each step he made, keeping up with his steady pace. He often looked back to make sure you were still behind him before he made a turn slightly off path, getting yourselves deeper into the forest. It was a steady up hill for the most part, up until you hit a rocky area with a steady climb.
Katsuki easily jumped up the first step, even with it at waist height, reaching down a hand to help pull you up. He let you walk in front of him from then on, just pointing you towards where to go. Letting you climb up the slight rocks, prepared to catch you if you fell, even if it wasn't higher than five or so feet. Soon enough you were standing taller than the rest of the camp, being able to see the lake and even our campsite from the top of the rocks you climb.
"This is," you let out a breath, "wow."
"See, if you didn't get wasted last time I could of shown you then," he reminded.
You ignored him, watching how the sky was slowly gaining color from the sunrise, a faint pink and orange hue barely kissy the horizon.
"This isn't even the best part," he tugged on your arm, lightly dragging you away from the cliff edge. He went in the opposite direction from the cliff, walking through the small forest that coated the top of the rocky mountain you were on. He held unto your hand until you heard the faint noise of running water. Pulling you in front of him as he guided you to the small pond that ran off the cliff edge and into a small creek.
"Why didn't you drag me with last time," you slapped his arm lightly, walking over to the water, crouching down to feel the water. It was freezing.
"You were bitchin'," he shrugged. Setting his backpack down near a tree.
You started untying your shoes, taking them off along with your socks. On a whim deciding to unbutton your pants.
"What are you doing?" he hissed. You turned your head toward him, his face was flushed as he looked away.
"I'm getting in," you shrugged.
"You're wearing a swimsuit?" he looked back over, still red in the face.
"Nah," you pushed your pants down, "I just wear my underwear, it'll dry."
"It's fucking freezing in that water," he pointed out, looking away once again.
"Scared to join?" you teased, folding your pants and setting them on top of your shoes, doing the same with your hoodie and tank top.
"Oh fuck you," he groaned. Not wanting to back out on a challenge, he tugged his shirt and pants off quickly, leaving them on a rock near his shoes. Joining you just as you started stepping into the water.
You flinched at the temperature but forced yourself to fully get in, letting the water reach your shoulders. Hair tied up to stay dry. Katsuki was by your side after a minute.
It was funny to think that last night you changed facing away from each other, but now you were only clad in underwear and in a random pond. It wasn't a first to be around each other in underwear, you've lived together for a little over a year after all.
"Water's not too bad," you commented.
He shot you a glare, "I hate the cold."
"Ice baths are good for you though, lots of health benefits," you chimed, knowing he hated being told something he hated was good.
"Fuck em," he grunted. He let his face fall into a pout as he stared at the water as if it was his enemy. His arms crossed to hold in any warmth. Butterflies filled your stomach as you looked over his feature. He was made but he looked soft. The worries of the hero world gone, if only for a moment. He looked back up at you, "What?" he bit out.
"Nothin'," you shook your head, "Cold?"
"Obviously," he rolled his eyes.
You stepped closer to him, having stuck at arms length from him. "Hug?" you offered.
"How will that help?" he coughed.
"I don't know, body heat?" you stepped closer.
"But you're fucking freezing too," he pointed out.
"Come on, Kats," you held out your arms for him. With a pout of your lip, he groaned and stepped into your arms. Wrapping his arms around your waist and tugging you towards him. "See, not to bad," you teased, wrapping your arms around his neck.
He nudged his head into your shoulder, "Shuddup." The tips of his ears stayed red from his blush, the heat from his face warming your neck. "Your warm," he muttered, pulling you impossibly closer, his watch scratching your back lightly.
You scratched at his hair, letting your hands play with the strands at the nape of his neck as you looked around. Soaking in the moment. The sky was slowly waking up, the orange and pinks that were barely visible before, took up the entire sky. A steady blue warming in as well. Katsuki let his shoulders sag into your touch as he pulled his face away, catching your attention.
"You're beautiful," he mumbled, embarrassed as he let his eyes track over your face.
"What's up with you?" you laughed shyly, "All boyfriendy recently."
"Just getting used to things more I guess," his voice was soft, but rough from his daily screaming matches with the boys.
"Took three years?" you pointed out. Watching his eyes as he looked over yours.
"You said I can do what I want right?" he asked, referencing your words from the other week when he kissed you for the first time since graduation.
You flushed, "I did."
He looked over your features again before his eyes fell to your lips. Letting his hand unhook from your waist and gently cup your cheek, just as it had that night. He admired your features for a while, letting his thumb barely trace your bottom lip before he leaned in himself. Letting himself fall into the kiss.
You tilted you head and pushed into your toes, letting yourself get impossible closer to him. Letting your body curve into his, fit alongside his perfectly. You let your hands hold unto his hair, pushing him deeper into him. Grasping onto his hair when you felt his tongue trail alongside your bottom lip. You're mouth falling open, begging him to continue the kiss.
Whining when he pulled away, out of breath and eyes lidded. "You're fine with this?" he asked hoarsely brows still furrowed from how he kissed you.
You just tugged him closer to you in response, locking your lips against his. Luckily, he quickly ran his tongue over your lip again, letting it slide into your mouth slowly. The kiss left a buzz going through your body, making your fingers twitch tighter into his hair, wanting nothing but more. Air could wait. You let your tongue fight with his for a moment, playfully toying with the new feeling of kissing him like this, before you gave in, letting him take over the kiss completely.
His hand dropped away from your face, falling back to your hip and he pulled you closer, fully into him. Groaning lowly when your thigh hit him, it falling between his legs.
The groan snapped you into reality. You were making out with Katsuki, and you felt him against your thigh. Clearly enjoying it. Just in attempt to see his reaction, you move your thigh slightly, making another groan fall from his lips and into your mouth before he pulled away from the kiss. Lazily look down at you, "We should probably stop before we.." he trailed off, his eyes falling on your lips again.
"Yeah," you nodded in agreement, looking down at his lips, plump and rosy from kissing.
Both of you sat in a daze of staring at each other, only breaking out of it when you heard faint talking in the distance.
You quickly scrambled off each other and to your clothes. Throwing them on as quickly as possible, wringing out as much water as possible beforehand. You did not want to be caught half naked in a random pond. It would wreck his hero image.
With clothes thrown on you quickly walked back towards camp, running into the couple you heard from the pond on your way down. Stopping when they asked for a picture with Katsuki. Which he was in a good enough mood to agree to.
After getting out of earshot, you started giggling to yourself. "We are so lucky we heard them."
He laughed breathlessly near you, "Yeah, would of gotten an exclusive photo otherwise."
"Your fan girls would have my head instantly," you added.
"You'd kick their ass."
You smiled at his faith in you, "Thank you, that's what I've been saying. Mei thinks I'm crazy."
After only a few tumbles, you were back at the campsite, letting the laughter from the previous conversation flow out of you. Everyone was awake when you got back. All prepared to head to the lake.
"You guys were out for a while," Mina commented, a hinting tone to her voice, "Why are your clothes wet?"
You looked down at your hoodie, the fabric of your bra having soaked the front of your shirt, just as your underwear soaked your pants. Katsuki was in the same boat.
"I took a dive in the water for a moment," you shrugged, "I'm going to put on a swimsuit, we can head out after."
And you did just that, Katsuki doing the same just after you.
You met up at Mina's side, she was in the middle of teasing Denki for how he applied sunblock.
She eyed you, "So, you guys were gone for a whileee."
"Yeah? We went on a hike?" you asked back, confused at her tone.
"You left at 6, it almost 10," she pointed out. You paled at the realization.
"It was a long walk," you defended.
Denki snorted, "Yeah a long 'walk'," he did air quotes.
Lucky enough, Katsuki was in time to hear that comment and swatted him upside the head. Denki squawking at him.
---
The lake was calm, water a perfect temperature along with the weather. Only a few other campers were at the lake but they were a good distance away. You would be able to mess around with your group without having to worry about being too loud or press getting photos.
You guys had set out chairs next the shore and some coolers, one filled with alcohol and the other having food. When the sunblock was all applied and dried, you and Mina instantly ran in. Her challenging you to a race and easily beating you.
"Mina!" you heard Kirishima shout before he tackled Mina into the water. You stepped back from the two, seeing them actual start to drown each other.
"Hey."
You squeaked, scared of being dunked. Turning to see Sero smirking at you.
"Scared of some water?" he teased.
"I'm scared of being drowned by a pro hero, yes," you turned back to watch Mina and Kirishima start to calm down. Unfortunately seeing them start making lovey eyes and leaning in.
"I'm so thankful you and Bakugo don't do that," Sero cringed, turning away from the site.
Memories from the pond flashed through your mind, shooting a quick glance at Katsuki, who was leaned back in a foldable chair. Legs stretched out and arms crossed over his stomach. Head fully leaded back and face the sky, with a hat blocking his fat from the sun.
"I doubt me and him would ever do that," you agreed, shaking your eyes off of Katsuki.
"You guys were gone for a while this morning," he elbowed you.
You scoffed, "It's a long walk."
"Yeah sure," he laughed, "At least we didn't have to hear it."
"Nothing happened," you shoved him into the water.
Sero started making kissing noises.
"Shut up!" you hushed, looking to see if Katsuki heard. When you aw him lift his hat slightly to peak at you, you jumped Sero. Submerging him under water as you smiled back at Katsuki.
Once he put his hat back over his head you let Sero go.
"I know I'm a hero and everything but damn your strong," Sero laughed, coughing some water out.
"Don't cross me," you jokingly threatened.
"You guys seem to be doing better though, he didn't throw your shoes off his chair last night," Sero commented, voice low so others didn't hear, "Was he just off that party?"
"No, he just doesn't like his hands touched for too long," you shrugged, "He always shakes my hands off after a couple minutes."
Sero hummed, "Well I'm getting a beer, want any?"
"Nah, I'll drink the rest of my wine tonight though," you twisted in the water, letting the water swish near you.
Soon you heard Mina start giggling, so you turned and saw her and Kirishima obviously flirting. "Guys!" faked throwing up, "Get a room."
Mina groaned, "You're just like Bakugo," she stuck her tongue out at you, you doing the same.
Before you saw anything more you decided to bug Katsuki, walking out of the water and grabbing a towel to wrap around you shoulders before walking to his seat. With the new shade you moved his hat off his face.
"Hi," you smiled down at him, happy to be here.
"Hey," he returned, "Why ain't you in the water?"
"Missed you," you shrugged, "you should join us."
He hummed, looks around the lake. "We brought the paddle board right?"
"I think Kiri set it up," you looked around for it, seeing it leaned against the picnic table, "Yeah he brought it."
Katsuki stood up, stretching slightly before moving over to it. You had trouble keeping your eyes off the way his back rippled with each movement. He grabbed the paddle board and placed it in the water, "Hold it will ya?" he gave you the foot strap, making you keep it from going too far away as he walked to grab some fishing stuff.
It was small hobby he hardly got to do, but he loved it all the same. Once he grabbed a fishing pole and the right bait he walked back over to you. Setting his stuff down to the said as he grabbed the foot strap from you.
"Get on," he directed, holding the board still. Unaware you were going with you quickly put your towel down before carefully getting on, keeping yourself near the front so he had room on the back.
He handed you the paddle and his fishing gear before he joined you on the board. Taking the paddle from off your lap and pushing you guys off the shore and into the waters.
"Don't fuck on that paddle board! I want to use it later," Denki shouted from his spot next to Sero.
"Shut your damn mouth," Katsuki wacked him with the paddle once close enough.
Denki and Sero crackled out a laugh as Katsuki paddled away from them, further out into the lake.
He was mumbling under his breath. Before he could let it consume his thoughts more you spoke out, "It's beautiful here."
You looked around the lake, it was surrounded by greenery, cliff formations closing the lake in, making it feel closed off from the rest of the world. It was peaceful, Cottonwood trees shedding and filling the air with small puffs of white cotton, it looked like a dream.
"Yeah, last year you were too drunk to remember anything," he poked. Reminding you of how last year you were stumbling around half the time. You hardly remembered that trip, just the bruises that followed when you got back. You had countless scratches covering every inch of you.
You turned to shoot his a glare, seeing him looking amused at your frustration. "Well at least I had fun, you had a stick too far up your ass to have any," you shot back.
He glared at you for a second before letting his face rest again, paddling you guys into a small cove, good for fishing and still in sight of your group. Slowly you turned to face him, careful not to shake the board much.
Katsuki was tying on a hook, looking down intently at the knot. His brows furrowed as he focused. You watched as he tied it off and attached some bait before throwing it in.
Only then did he look at you, finally feeling your eyes on him. "What?"
"Just funny watching the symbol of strength tie a knot," you grinned.
He rolled his eyes. Silence took over for a moment, a heavy breath falling from his lips, "It's still all crazy to me."
"What is?" you shuffled slightly, leaning back on your hands rather then having your back hunched.
"Everything," he looked around, "Like, I really am number two."
"Yeah, you are the shit," you joked.
He shot you a look, sighing, "Not even just that, I'm second and I'm fine with it. Obviously I'll beat Deku soon, but for now I'm content."
Feeling the shift of the conversation, you joined in, "Well you've grown up a lot, you're not who you used to be in middle school anymore."
"It's weird," he looked down. Playing with the string at the end of the pole. "So much has changed but so little at the same time. I've become a top pro hero but I'm still closest to our class in UA."
"Yeah," you nodded along, watching how the sun hit his hair, " I mean, I'm in the top of my business yet I'm still dating you," you teased wanting to lift some weight from the conversation.
He looked up at you, keeping his head down, "No idea why you are. Our relationship is one of the things that haven't changed at all."
"Which is good," you finished for him.
"I mean at all," he added on, "We haven't changed our relationship since second year."
"That's not true," you frowned at him, "We've grown closer, we live together now, we go on dates," you started to list.
"You know that wasn't what I meant," he raised his head, moving to reel in the fishing pole, no longer in the mood for it. Connecting it to the side of the paddle board, securing it so he didn't have to worry about it. Same with the paddle, letting you guys drift with the wind.
"Then what do you mean?" you were trying to get him to say it. He's been hinting at it for ages but hasn't actually said it.
He raised an eyebrow at you, "Need me to spell it out?
"Yes actually."
"We've kissed five times in the total of three years, having know each other since we were fuckin' five," he explained.
"Yeah and?" you pushed.
"E' and Mina have been dating for all of three weeks officially and have probably done everything under the sun," he stated.
"What does that have to do with us?"
"It's just my fault, you've apparently have been wanting to and I've been holding you back," he confessed, shame filling his eyes as he looked at you.
"I'm fine just with you by my side," you answered, leaning up to grab his hands. A spark shooting out before you could.
"Fuck sorry," he dipped his hands in the water, then turned his watch on and his quirk off.
"Have you figured out why you spark?" you wondered, looking at his hands.
He looked back up at you, his eyes clearly searching for a way out of the conversation. His quirk activating clearly setting him far from the idea of talking about it anymore. "I just was trying to keep the watch off to test it earlier," he shrugged.
"No," you shook your head, " I meant overall."
Katsuki paused, looking back down at his hand. You wanted to comfort him, he was obviously not willing to talk about his quirk but you wanted him to confined in you.
Before you could cut in, his hands shot out and grabbed you by your knees, pulling you into him. He smirked at you, wearing his classic grin he wore in battle. The one that made you weak. Your hands flew to his chest to keep balance. "What are you doing?" you squeaked.
Instead of giving an answer he leaned down and crushed your lips in a kiss.
In just the span of a month, you doubled your kiss count with him, and made out with him.
You held your hands steady on his shoulders, letting yourself fall into the kiss, bones melting into his hold as his teeth nipped at your bottom lip.
A gasp left your lips as you tied to deepen the kiss, pushing yourself more unto him.
Unfortunately in the process of doing that, you pushed both him and yourself off the paddle board. Breaking apart before you hit the water.
You came back up laughing together.
---
Everyone only got tired of the lake way into the afternoon. Finally decided to go back for dinner. Which would take a while to set up as it is. Especially with Katsuki wanting to cook a steak on the fire. While he seasoned the steak he left Kirishima to start the fire.
You took your wine out of the cooler, quickly taking the cork out. Everyone, minus Katsuki, was well over tipsy. Having been drinking since the start of the day, so you needed to catch up.
Mina stepped to your side as you poured yourself a cup. "So," she swayed, "Bakugo's a lot calmer today than yesterday."
"Okay?" you focused on how much wine you poured yourself, having a third of your wine in one cup.
"And I saw you two on the paddle board," she hinted.
"Okay?" you took a sip of your wine, finally looking at her.
"Saw you kiss too," she stated.
You flushed, "What are you getting at?"
"Did you guys do it in the forest?" Mina asked excited.
"What?" you coughed, "No!"
"Come on, you can tell me," she pleaded, "Me and E have a bet going."
"We did not have," you lowered your voice, "sex in the forest."
She huffed, "Lame, did you at least do something?"
"Mina," you groaned, embaressed.
"You did!" Mina squealed, "What did you do?"
Katsuki heard the squeal, being only ten or so feet away, and turned his head, "You did what?"
You lost all color in your face, throat going dry. He only just started kissing you. You didn't know how'd he react you telling Mina of all people. You didn't even know if Katsuki talked about that stuff to other people, he didn't even talk about it with you.
"She's just telling me what you guys did in the forest," Mina teased.
Katsuki face flushed red.
"I didn't tell her anything!" you cut in, "She's just making stories to herself."
"Get your nose out of it racoon eyes," Katsuki spat.
You were relived he wasn't mad at you. You didn't know how you would handle that.
Picking up your cup, you decided to drown out the thought with some more alcohol. Switching to listen to the boys banter about who could get a brand and be plain faced during it. Clearly it wasn't wise to keep them near the fire. Deciding to no longer watch that shit show, which Mina joined to egg them on, you walked up to Katsuki. He was still seasoning the steaks, eyes focused as he carefully chose what to add. You stood being him, uttering a small hi before you raised on your tip-toes and rested your chin on his shoulder. Getting his view of the steak.
"Is Mina giving you a rough time?" he mumbled, voice low so the others wouldn't hear.
"Not really," you wrapped your arms around his waist, "she just really thinks we had sex."
He scoffed but didn't add anymore, he just let you watch him. Only pulling away when it was time to put the steak on the fire pit, having them hover on a small grate to cook fully.
---
You stared up fascinated by the stars, they covered the entire span of the sky. With the pollution in the city, you hardly saw the stars unless you were out in the mountains like you were now. It was a breath of fresh air in so many ways. It calmed your soul.
Every part of this camping trip did. You and Katsuki got time together, away from the stress of the world, and you got to spend it surround by your closest friends. They were always lively but you could tell they were even more alive with this trip. It's been the thing you guys talked about all summer. Planning every moment so you could live it up to the fullest. Yet, typical to the group, you guys didn't follow a single plan. The only plan you did follow was getting drunk each night. The group will have downed every last drink in the cooler by the end of tonight.
You looked back down towards the group, they were laughing at the old stories they shared from high school. It was a bond you didn't have with them. After the first year, you were back to a somewhat normal high school experience. And you'd rather forget that year, everything went horribly. You looked at the back of Katsuki's head, watching as he shook his head at what Sero said. You don't think you'd ever forget how you had smeared Katsuki's own blood on his face, trying to keep him with you. Fighting to stop his blood from flowing out of him before he pulled your hands up to his face weakly.
Tears blurred the look on his face, and you hated that you might of forgot his face. Might of had your last moments with his face foggy with tears. It ate you up inside.
The wasn't the only time you've seen him like that, and it wouldn't be the last, but it definitely set a dark tone for each day he left for work. Worried he wouldn't come back that same night. Wouldn't be there to yell at you for reading too much and not there to complain about your shows. The fact that you'd have to eat his last premade meals without him.
You worried about your friends too. You glanced at Mina. There was a day where each of your friends almost died. Mina have burned her own skin off with her quirk. It was a fate that shattered your heart, yet it happened in the hero world all too often. Denki constantly fried his own brain within an inch of life and Kirishima has broken pieces of his skin off after rough villain encounters. Hell, even Sero was almost strangled with his quirk.
Dark memories flooded your brain. Each day they sacrificed themselves yet they were sitting here without a care in the world as they sipped on their drinks. Sometimes it felt like you were the only one that cared and felt the toll, but Katsuki came home drained enough times for you to know that just isn't true. They find that saving others is worth ripping themselves apart. You shook your head at the idea. It was selfish of you, but you knew they wouldn't be selfish of themselves, so someone had to.
Not allowing yourself to fall deeper into that long fall, you took a deep breath and watch how alive they were right now. The biggest thing about knowing heroes, was that you had to live in the moment rather than the what ifs. Those would tear every inch of you apart.
The trees framing the campsite didn't look nearly as alive as your group did. They sat around the fire, poking fun at each other any chance they got. Bringing up Denki's horrible pick up lines and Kirishima's brick of a head. Their very much alive laughter echoing around your campsite.
The group was stuffed full, sitting around the campfire as they told stories. Alcohol stirring up their blood warm.
"No I swear," Denki laughed, "Bakugo literal came up to the photographer and barked."
"Shut it," Katsuki growled at him.
You were gathering supplies to make smores, craving them with the energy of camping. Arms full you walked back to Katsuki and dumped everything on his lap. "Thank you," you hummed, ignoring his protest.
Grabbing the graham-crackers from his lap you cracked one for a smore. "Can you prepare one for me too?" Katsuki asked, putting a marshmallow on a stick for both you and him.
"Breaking your diet?" you quirked a brow but prepped a smore for him as well. Placing less chocolate on his than yours because you knew he didn't care for sweets.
"Haven't had a smore since I was a kid," he confessed, handing you your stick.
"Seriously?" you were shocked, "Are you talking about that summer from when we were seven?" Recalling the last time he made a smore well. He boasted about his skills until he dropped his second one into a fire.
"Yeah," he followed your movements and put his marshmallow above the fire, letting it slowly melt.
"You guys are so cute," Mina gushed. Honestly, you were so wrapped up in your conversation with Katsuki and the memories, that you forgot about everyone else.
You felt the warm of your blush in your ears, grateful that it was dark and no one could poke fun.
"I'm serious," she whined at your silence, thinking you were disagreeing, "Childhood best friends to lovers, I mean come on! Who doesn't love that trope?!"
It was obvious she was drunk.
"Mina, you're drunk," Katsuki shook his head.
"I don't know, I agree with her. It's admirable," Kirishima followed.
"Thank you," she huffed happily.
"I don't know how you've stayed loyal for so long," Denki said, fumbling when you all gave him a weird look, "In the sense of never having a relationship with someone else before, not cheating."
Sero hummed, "Yeah, weird to know you guys haven't dated anyone but each other."
Katsuki shot you a look, you returning it all the same.
"Wait," Sero leaned forward, "Have you guys dated other people?"
"I haven't," Katsuki side eyed you as he focused back on his smore.
Mina whined your name, "Why haven't I been told this?"
"Did we go to school with them?" Denki butted in.
"It had to of been during first year right?" Sero analyzed.
"Oh my god," you shot Katsuki a glare, annoyed he pushed you into the wolves, "It was middle school." He was smug, seeing his friends basically gasp in betrayal before they heard the 'middle school.'
They let out a series of 'ohs.' The dots easily connecting for them. They never heard you mention anyone in first year, plus you dormed with them so their was no way they wouldn't of noticed someone you were dating.
"See. Not a big deal," you kicked your foot into Katsuki's. Annoyed at how he made it seem. They didn't know before because it was irrelevant. You often forgot about it entirely until he threw it in your face as a joke.
"Still, didn't you have a crush on him then?" Sero pointed out.
Making Katsuki turn his attention back on you, "Did you?" Another thing that wasn't shared
"Yes," you looked at him for a moment, "Hence why the relationship was nothing." You and Katsuki never got deep into the discussion of when your feelings started. Just deciding to date after agreeing on mutual feelings and never really resurfacing it.
You looked back at your smore, you've been absentmindedly rotating it, a little too low into the fire. It was charred. You pulled it back to sadly put into a smore. Looking at Katsuki ready marshmallow before making yours.
"Awh," you pouted, "Can we trade? Your looks better," you basically pleaded.
With a huff he gave in, "Fine."
"Thank you," you smiled at him happily. Putting your mostly charred marshmallow into his less chocolatey smore and putting his golden brown marshmallow into your chocolate heavy smore.
You looked back at the group after handing Katsuki his smore. Happy with the new arrangement.
They were in disbelief, Denki speaking up first, "We're not just moving past your previous relationship, are we?"
"Why does it matter?" Katsuki butt in, confused about how this turned into an entire conversation.
"How does it not matter?" Sero shot back, "Your entire relationship is a lie."
Katsuki rolled his eyes, "Not really. It's one small thing that you didn't know."
"It was a dumb middle school relationship," you filled in.
"Yeah, a relationship before Bakugo," Mina added on, "I need details."
Now you were rolling your eyes, "I don't even remember his name at this point, it's been like five years," you dismissed.
"You player," Denki cut in. You gave him a 'really' look, "Hey! I remember their names."
"I dated him for a week before we 'broke up,' it was hardly a relationship. I think we just dated for a school dance," you shrugged, biting into the smore Katsuki made for you. Melting into your seat at the sweet taste.
"Why'd you break up?" Kirishima questioned for the first time.
You smirked, glancing at Katsuki who was already shaking his head. Glad that the conversation could be flipped back onto him. "This dude," you pointed your thumb at him over your shoulder, looking at the group to see their reaction, "Scared him off by barking. Seems like a habit he hasn't lost."
Denki started cracking up, hunching over and spilling his beer sightly, "Why do you do that?" he laughed harder seeing Katsuki's face scrunch.
"He was dropped on his head," you answered for him.
Denki fell over sideways in his chair, the alcohol clearly making him laugh harder than usual. He always laughed when you and Katsuki bickered, but never this hard.
"Fuck you," Katsuki spat at you, "Shouldn't of given you my smore."
"You're the one that started this conversation," you shrugged, patting your stomach, "Smore was delicious though. Would of been a waste on your lame tastebuds."
"My tastebuds are normal," he argued. Kirishima laughed. "What?" Katsuki growled at him.
"Bro, you chug protein drinks and don't even wince," Kirishima answered.
"Cause I'm not a little bitch," Katsuki defended.
You and Mina cringed. "I can't believe you kiss that guy," Mina looked at you face holding pure disgust. You snorted out a laugh at Katsuki's face.
"Me either," you agreed, likely for different reasons.
"That's it," Katsuki stood up, standing in his classic gremlin stance. Arms out, hands up, and knees bent. He sparked his hands briefly, which made you oldy relived. It was nice to know he didn't have the watch constantly turning his quirk off, that wouldn't be good for him. "I'll kill you all," he stepped straight past you and marched to the others.
Denki scrambled behind a chair, pointing out at you when Katsuki stormed past you, "How come she doesn't?"
"She has to go home with me, she'll get it," Katsuki stomped towards the electric blonde. You blushed at the way Katsuki said it, knowing the others would think of it the same way as you.
"Ew," Sero gagged, "I don't want to hear about your sex life."
Katsuki's hand sparked brighter, "That's not what I meant!"
"Sureee," Mina teased, sending you a wink, "Hear that, you're gonna get it later."
You were bright red at this point. "Shut it," Katsuki all but shouted, running towards Mina. Quickly chasing her around the campsite. Mina using her acid to slide further away from him.
---
After Katsuki successfully singed everyone at least one, they gave in. Kirishima, Sero, and Denki all having cried 'uncle' when Katsuki twisted their arm behind their back. Winning easily due to them all being wasted. Katsuki quickly yelled at them to go to bed. Wanting them to sleep before the group hike early tomorrow so they were back in time to pack up to go back home.
Just like everyone else, you stumbled into the tent, similar to how you did the night before. Barely able to unzip the tent to get in, having Katsuki open it for you
"You're a mess," Katsuki chuckled, zipping the tent close behind him after he saw you stumble in.
You grumbled, grabbing the ends of your shirt and raising it above your head. It was dark enough so he'd hardly see as well as anything he would see, he saw earlier in the pond. Which was a lot more intimate than this. You also had the liquid courage of wine in your system.
"What are you doing?" Katsuki hissed.
"Huh?" you turned to look at him, shirt off your head and in your hands.
"Oh god," Katsuki snapped his head the other direction, his quirk sparking off before he quickly fumbled for his watch, turning his quirk off. "Put a shirt on."
You reach to grab your bag off the floor, setting it on the bed to put your shirt back in, grabbing a sleep shirt, "Why does it bug you?"
"Your half naked," he exclaimed in a hushed tone, not wanting the others to overhear despite them being at least twenty feet away.
"Need I remind you of the pond?" you raised your brow at him, but followed his wish. Pulling your shirt back over your head.
"That's different," he argued, looking back at you.
"I was also in a swimsuit all day," you pointed out, unhooking your bra from under your shirt.
He flushed so bright you could see it well even in the dark, "Will you stop that?"
"I'm just getting cozy," you shrugged, "You could do the same y'know?"
You pulled off your pants to slip on your sleep shorts.
"Oh my god," he groaned. You would of laughed at his dramatics but he was covering his eyes at this point.
"What's so bad about it?" you asked softly.
"You're half naked," he repeated.
You crossed your arms over your stomach, "And that's a problem?"
"Yes!" he exclaimed. Exclaimed. Eyes still covered.
"Y'know," you paused for a shaky breath, "you make me feel so insecure."
"What?" he dropped his hands from his eyes.
You looked down, "You're acting disgusted by my body."
"What?" he repeated, "That's not what-"
"Yes it is Katsuki," you cut him off. You could physically feel like heart drop at you calling him his full name and not just Kats. "You're covering your eyes and telling me to cover up. You'd think my boyfriend," you emphasized, "of three years wouldn't be appalled at the idea of my body. "
"You've got it all wrong," he step towards you, you taking a step back.
"Do I?"
"Yes, extremely," he nodded, frustrated.
"Then explain it to me," you offered, "Jolting away from my touch and hugs all these years and now wishing me to not show my skin."
"Fuck," he rubbed his hand over his face, taking a step closer to you, "I just can't handle it. It's too much for me," he admitted.
"I'm going to need you to elaborate."
"It's overwhelming, becomes all I can think about," he took a step closer, and you let him. Arms still crossed as you looked up at him. "I want you more than anything, fuck, more than being number one."
You dropped your arms to your sides, "What?" you asked softly.
"I can't let you touch me for too long because then I just want more. Can't look too long or I'll want to see more," he spoke softly, "it's fucking annoying."
"Then why haven't we..." you left off, knowing he got the hint.
"I'm fuckin scared," he ran his hands through his hair.
"Kats, there nothing to be scared of, " you tried to comfort, "What could the symbol of strength possibly be scared of?"
"Of just that."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm worried I'm going to fuckin' blow you up or something," he blurted.
You paled, expecting anything but that.
"Fuckin' see?" he sat down roughly on the air mattress, resting his elbows on his knees as he held his head in his hands.
You took a seat next to him, rubbing a hand up and down his back. "Why have you never told me?" you asked gently.
"Didn't want to bother you with this stupid shit," he slapped his hands down, looking over at you.
"It's not stupid," you shook your head at him.
"I should be over it at our grown ass age," he huffed, his eyes were getting bloodshot.
"How are you going to get over something you've never addressed?" you pointed out. Dragging his hands away from his eyes when he tried to rub at them. "Why do you think you'll do that?"
"I can't fucking control it, you see my quirk go off," he stared down at his hands.
"Do you know why it does?" you were trying to figure him out, for his sake and yours.
He sighed, "I get freaked out," he paused for a while, "I get nervous then I start freaking out about my quirk going off and it does."
"I don't see it happening in interviews?" you questioned, knowing he gets anxious in those.
He gave you a blank stare, "What are you? Stupid?"
"Hey!"
"I get nervous around you," he spelt out, "This shit only happens around you."
You flushed from head to toe. All you could do was stare at him dumbly. Mei was right. His quirk went off because of you. You couldn't help the light smile that crossed your face.
"The fuck you smilin' for?"
"I honestly just relived," you confessed, "I thought your quirk going off meant that you wanted me as far away as possible, since when I got too close you pushed me away."
"You'd think your quirk would help your dumbass brain but it doesn't," he looked at you in disbelief, "Why would I be with you?"
"It's also why I thought you kept bring up the physical touch thing," you shrugged, "Thought you were using it as your way out of the relationship."
"Why would of put up with your shit if I didn't want you?" he pointed out.
"Y'know, Mei brought up the same points," you laughed.
He groaned, "Mei knows?"
"Sorry," you apologized, "It was eating me up inside."
"It's fine," he brushed off, "I'm sorry too, didn't really think about what you thought was going on till recently."
"It's fine," you stifled a yawn.
"Tired?"
"Very," you admitted.
"Sleep, we have an early mornin'," he motioned to the bed. You happily moved up the bed, happy to get cozy under the covers next to him after he changed into his sleepwear. Watching the way the small light of the flashlight, used to light your way to the tent, created shadows over the span of his back. It was always a welcomed site to see. It felt even better now, knowing that he wanted you in the same way you wanted him.
"It's fuckin' cold," you mumbled, holding the blanket over your cheeks as you curled up.
Without saying a word, Katsuki pulled you into his side. He was a human furnace, so you instantly melted into his side. Flushed with the closeness. Having gone three years with no touch, to making out in a pond and cuddling in bed together in the same day.
The relief the conversation gave you was insane, you no longer felt disgusted and you no longer felt like he wanted out of the relationship.
This camping trip lifted more than a small weight off your shoulders, but all the insecurities and worries of your relationship along with it. Progress in the right direction could finally be made, rather than the stand still you've been at this entire time.
You let out a sigh of relief, curling into his side more as you let sleep cloud your brain.
-Next Part-
I did not expect this to be so damn long, fuck. I've written this in two days and it's literally the longest thing I've ever written for a chapter. I hoped you like the camping trip, it was fun to write and I hope I illustrated it well enough. Thank you <3
In them m.list of this fic comment if you want to be added into a tag list <3
I'll no longer add people to the taglist if they haven't commented there. It's too much to keep up with all the new part. Hope you understand <3
@ldk3347 @suki0 @ez4ra @mithicakurogo @aomi04 @ellielover69 @minori-taiga1 @54fangirl @zoast32 @mushroomsneedystuff @kazuumii @snxwflwr @keiva1000 @thescarletwallflower @juicyfingers @atashiboba @ofcqdesi @americasass1942 @kaboomkayla @ilovedenk-i @iamyoursonly @albakugo @venusluvslove @fairiesgloss @limitedstar @i-bitch-you-bitch @drageonix24 @sweetpandabiscuitrebel @sinyaaa @xreiiss @oddball08 @imsuperawkward @lomlchi @anime-manga-fanatic @irlpadfoot @lord-goosifur @chocoyanchan @gollumsmygel @yuptha-tsme @icedemon1314 @alstrums @suki0 @yesiamrobbysimp @supersecretsamm @maeveorsomethinggg @ivuriexo
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3igbootyl0ver · 3 months ago
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doctor's in [pt.3]
pairing: tara carpenter x reader
summary: Just as you thought fate was finally on your side, the universe had other plans—ones that seemed determined to pull you and Tara apart. But you and Tara had other plans, and that was to keep trying.
word count: 3752
a/n: hehe this is the end of this fic, I hope you guys like it!! I really enjoyed writing this one
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Tara was getting impatient. 
Just as she thought you both were progressing into the ‘relationship’, it seems that fate was not on your side anymore.
It was getting ridiculous! After multiple of countless attempts to set a date—just the both of you, there’s always something or someone to ruin the night you both fought so hard for.
“Well, I guess fate is just not on our side for now,” Is something you would always say when your dates gets disrupted unexpectedly.
Well, Fuck Fate.
At first it was something silly— like a sudden work emergency or a meeting you couldn’t get out of. Tara had laughed it off, saying, ‘Duty calls, I get it.’ But then it happened again, and again.
The second time, your best friend, Stacy, showed up unannounced at your apartment during your movie date, heartbroken and needing a shoulder to cry on. Tara had sighed but understood. The third time? Your neighbor’s cat somehow got stuck in your apartment, and you had to call for help to get it out, calling for a rain check for your date due to your allergic reaction from the cat.
It was getting even more ridiculous when once you both planned to grab dinner together. Everything was going perfect!—until a potential hurricane emergency came in and you both had to retreat back home, not even managing to grab a bite of your food.
Now, on the sixth failed attempt, she was done being patient.
Tara sat on her bed, phone in hand, staring at your latest message: "I'm so sorry, an emergency surgery came up. Can we reschedule?"
Her fingers hovered over the keyboard. Should she play it cool? Should she call you out? Or worse—should she give up?
Tara wanted to be mad at you. Really, she did. But the truth was, she wasn’t entirely innocent either.
The first time she had to cancel, it was because her lecturer dumped a last-minute project on her class. She had groaned in frustration but knew she couldn’t say no.
The second time, Mindy had dragged her into some family drama—something about Chad not helping out with their chores (which she didn’t get why she had be included in the first place), and before she knew it, hours had passed, and your date was long forgotten.
The third? Well, she hated to admit it, but she fell asleep. It had been a brutal week, and she had closed her eyes just for a second—only to wake up to your, ‘Where are you?’ text, heart sinking.
Both of you had at least 10 different failed attempts on going on the “perfect” date; With no one to burst your bubble and just being in each other’s arms. Hell, Tara got even more pissed when she thought about how you both haven’t had a cheeky, steamy makeout session yet.
And now, here you both were. A mess of bad timing, terrible luck, and an endless cycle of almost but not quite.
Tara stared at your message and sighed. Maybe fate was trying to tell you something. Or maybe, it was time to fight harder for what you both wanted.
Tara :)
it’s fine, i get it. next time i guess
Sent at 4.03pm.
Tara had spent the entire day convincing herself that this time would be different—that nothing would get in the way. But now, with disappointment settling deep in her chest, exhaustion crept in faster than she expected.
Her phone slipped from her grasp onto the bed, the screen still lit with your chat. She hated how bitter that sounded, but what else was she supposed to say?
Her eyelids drooped, her body sinking into the comfort of her pillows. Maybe just a few minutes of rest. Just enough to shake off the frustration.
And as she drifted off, she wondered—would there really be a next time? Or was this just a slow, inevitable fade into nothing?
———
Tara was awoken by an array of vibrations from her phone. Groaning, she turned it on—eyes squinting from the level of brightness which she reduced afterwards. The first thing she saw was the time—9.55pm. She saw the number of texts she had gotten from you and Sam afterwards, her heart quickly jumping out of her chest thinking it was an actual emergency.
Her fingers trembled slightly as she unlocked her phone, scrolling through the notifications (deliberately ignoring Sam’s texts).
You: Tara? You: Hey, are you there? You: I know you’re upset, but please reply. You: I’m sorry, baby. I’ll make it up to u
You: I brought food. If you don’t want to see me, I’ll leave it at your door.
Sent at 8.30pm.
Her heart stilled. She scrambled to sit up, pushing her hair out of her face. Her half-asleep brain struggled to catch up—had she read that right? Her cheeks were slightly tinted with the pet name as she proceeded to the door, opening it slowly which made the hinges creak slightly. There it was, a bowl of her favorite takeout pasta, with a rose and note saying, 
‘I’m sorry, I didn't want our night to end like this. I hope this makes up for it—at least a little. Text me? -Y/N’
Tara exhaled softly, her fingers tracing the edge of the note. The smell of the pasta was warm and inviting, a stark contrast to the lingering disappointment she had felt just hours ago. Tara swallowed, suddenly wide awake. After everything—the cancellations, the bad timing, the missed chances—you still showed up.
For her.
She picked up the bowl and the rose, stepping back into her apartment. Closing the door behind her, she stared at the small gesture sitting in her hands. It wasn’t much—just food, a flower, and a few words—but it was enough to make her chest tighten.
Her thumb hovered over her  screen keyboard, but before she could type a response, her eyes spotted a message she hadn’t seen yet during her spiral of emotions.
You: 
i’ll be at the library, researching for my paper due.  come over if u see this?
Sent at 9.45pm.
A sigh left her lips as she replied to your texts, the three little dots appearing on her screen as she types out her response.
Tara :)
u're an idiot
i’m omw 
With that, she threw her blanket off from the couch and got to her feet, heart pounding as she made her way to the door.
———
The library was quieter than usual when she stepped inside, the scent of old books and freshly brewed coffee from the café near the entrance instantly familiar. She greeted the librarian, Mrs. Grahams, whom recognized her instantly.
“Hey sweetheart, looking for Y/N? They’re just a few tables away around the corner,” She stated softly, before redirecting her attention towards her computer.
Tara gave her a soft thanks before walking towards your direction, slightly shy with how the librarian knows how you and Tara were seeing each other.
‘Seeing each other’. She didn’t know what label to put on the both of you, were you guys dating, just talking, or figuring it out? Nevertheless, her inner turmoil was halted when she spotted you before you noticed her—head bent slightly, fingers absentmindedly tapping against the cover of a book as you scrolled through your phone.
She took a deep breath and walked over, stopping just in front of your table.
You looked up, eyes widening slightly in surprise. “Tara—”
She sat down across from you before you could finish, folding her arms on the table. “If I didn’t come now, we’d probably miss each other again.”
A slow smile tugged at the corner of your lips. “So, you’re saying fate isn’t against us after all?”
Tara rolled her eyes, but there was a softness to it. “I’m saying… maybe it’s time we stop letting it win.”
Silence settled between you, but it wasn’t the uncomfortable kind. It was something… lighter. Something that felt like the start of finally getting it right.
You slowly slid your hands under hers— testing the waters, before interlocking your hands with hers.
“Look—I’m sorry about this whole thing. Some dumb ass swallowed plastic beads and we had to get rid of it before it caused a blockage. It was a mess, and I didn’t want to cancel it again, but—“
Tara sighed, shaking her head, but she didn’t pull her hands away. “You and your stupid emergencies,” She muttered, but there was no real anger in her voice—Just exhaustion. Just the weight of every missed chance between you both.
You squeezed her hand gently. “I know. And I hate it just as much as you do.”
She stared at your intertwined fingers, running her thumb lightly over yours. “I just… I didn’t know if we were ever gonna get this right,” she admitted, voice quieter now. “Every time we tried, something got in the way. I started thinking maybe it wasn’t meant to happen.”
Your grip tightened slightly. “Tara,” you murmured, waiting for her to look up at you. When she did, there was something unspoken in your gaze—something real. “It is meant to happen. We just have to fight for it.”
She exhaled slowly, as if letting go of the frustration, the doubt. And then, a small smile tugged at her lips. “Well,” she said, squeezing your hand back, “I’m here now, aren’t I?”
You let out a breath, one that felt like relief. “Yeah,” you whispered. “You are.”
———
“Follow me to get some books? Please?” You managed your best puppy eye look at Tara, which made her sigh before standing up from her chair. The legs screeched slightly against the floor as she got up, giving you an unimpressed look before walking toward the aisles.
You grinned. You knew you’d always win.
As you scanned the shelves, Tara leaned against one, watching you. “Why are you even using books again? Can’t you just, like, Google it?” she asked exasperatedly, clearly forgetting that you were actually here to study and not just hang out.
“One of my old attendings from work said it’s better to gain knowledge from books instead of online because the internet ‘rots our brains,’” you replied, pulling out a thick textbook.
Tara snorted. “Sounds like someone who still handwrites emails.”
You smirked, turning to her with a playful glint in your eyes. “Jealous? Do you want me to write you a love letter instead?”
She scoffed, but you didn’t miss the way her lips twitched upward. “Oh please. Your handwriting is probably worse than your texting skills.”
You took a step closer, holding a book out to her. “Maybe. But I bet you’d still keep it if I did.”
Tara met your gaze, raising an eyebrow as she took the book from your hand, fingers barely brushing against yours. “Bold assumption.”
You tilted your head, lowering your voice just slightly. “Am I wrong?”
For the first time, she hesitated—just for a second—before rolling her eyes and turning back to the bookshelves. “Hurry up and pick something before I leave you here.”
You chuckled, watching her with amusement. “You love me too much to do that.”
She didn’t respond, but the faint pink dusting her cheeks told you everything you needed to know.
You smirked, watching the faint blush creep onto Tara’s cheeks as she turned away, pretending to focus on the books in front of her. You knew she’d never admit it, but you caught that tiny hesitation—that brief moment of flustered silence that told you everything.
“Alright, alright,” you said, grabbing another book and tucking it under your arm. “I’ll behave.”
Tara scoffed, still not looking at you. “Since when do you ever behave?”
You took a slow step closer, closing some of the distance between you. “Oh? Does that mean you like it when I don’t?”
She finally turned to look at you, eyes narrowing, but you caught the way her breath hitched—just slightly. “You are so annoying.”
You leaned in a little more, voice dipping lower. “And yet, you’re still here.”
Tara swallowed, suddenly hyperaware of how close you were. The dim library lighting cast soft shadows across your face, and she could see every detail—the mischievous glint in your eyes, the curve of your lips that held back another teasing remark.
She should have said something—should have shoved you away or rolled her eyes or done anything to break the tension. But she didn’t.
“I would very much like to kiss you right now.” 
“Please do.”
It was quick at first, almost as if she surprised herself, but the moment her lips brushed against yours, the world around you both seemed to pause. The books, the shelves, the quiet hum of the library—it all faded.
Your breath caught as you instinctively cupped her cheek—the books on both yours and her hands forgotten as it drops with a thud on the floor, tilting your head just enough to deepen the kiss. It was warm, lingering, real—the kind of kiss that made every missed chance, every delay, every frustrating almost completely worth it.
When she finally pulled back, her lips barely parted from yours, she whispered, “You’re insufferable.”
You let out a breathless chuckle, forehead resting lightly against hers. “And yet… you’re still here.”
She rolled her eyes, but this time, she was smiling. “Shut up.”
You grinned, brushing a thumb along her cheek. “Make me.”
And just like that, she kissed you again. You groaned softly in her mouth, your hands dropping from her cheek to under her thighs, lifting her up like she weighed nothing while she wrapped her legs around your waist. She gasped slightly, which you took the opportunity to slip your tongue in, intertwining with hers in a slow, deliberate dance. The kiss deepened, turning into something more urgent, more desperate, as if you were making up for all the lost time—the missed moments, the interruptions, the endless waiting.
Tara’s fingers tangled in your hair, pulling just enough to make you groan again. You pressed her back gently against the nearest bookshelf, your grip tightening on her thighs as you held her up effortlessly. A couple of books from the shelf that was supporting Tara fell to the floor, creating a loud thud which made both of you break the kiss.
“We’re in a library” You whispered against her lips.
“Then we should probably keep quiet.” Tara smirked, lips brushing against your jaw.
You opened your mouth—probably to fire back some sarcastic retort—but she silenced you with another kiss, one that made you melt. It was miracle there was barely any people in the library and you were glad no one was there to witness your steamy makeout with Tara. Well...That was until the librarian showed up.
“Excuse me, what is happening here—Oh,” Mrs. Grahams, the elderly librarian, stopped mid-sentence, her eyes widening slightly behind her glasses as she took in the sight before her.
Tara, not missing a beat, pushed you away gently but firmly, her voice cutting through the sudden awkwardness. “Not now, Beatrice. I’ve waited too long for this.”
With that, Mrs. Grahams simply walked away, grumbling about how rude the generation are nowadays. You couldn’t blame her, the sight of you and Tara  pressed against the bookshelf, lips slightly swollen, faces way too close to be considered studious, a couple of books lay abandoned on the floor, evidence of your less-than-innocent activities is definitely not a good look.
You sighed and let out a soft chuckle, “You traumatized that poor lady,”
Tara didn’t even flinch at the comment. She adjusted her shirt, tossing a glance toward the librarian’s retreating figure. “I’m not letting anyone—especially a librarian—ruin my chances.”
———
As the two of you made your way to the library exit, the evening air cool against your skin after the stuffy warmth inside, you walked side by side, the lingering tension between you now replaced with an undeniable ease. Tara kept her gaze forward, her hands tucked into her jacket pockets.
You couldn't help but smile, feeling light-hearted for the first time in what seemed like ages. "Well," you said, nudging her gently with your shoulder. "That was definitely an interesting trip to the library."
Tara shot you a quick, half-smile. "You have no idea."
You reached the door, and Tara hesitated just for a moment before stopping. 
She looked over at you, her face turning more serious, though still softened by the smile she couldn’t quite shake off. "I need to go say something to Mrs. Grahams... for, you know, traumatizing her."
You raised an eyebrow, confused for a second, then chuckled softly. "You're going back to apologize? You’re a brave one."
Tara rolled her eyes, her lips curling into a mischievous smirk. "Shut up. She probably thinks I’m some sort of troublemaker now. I’ve been coming here for years—can’t have that reputation."
“Yeah, I should probably apologize too,” You said with a chuckle. “That woman has probably seen me here since high school, it’s the least I could do.”
Both of you stepped into the library again, the warm light from inside casting her in a soft glow as she approached the front desk. Mrs. Grahams looked up from her computer, a knowing look in her eyes as you both stood awkwardly in front of her.
"Mrs. Grahams," Tara started, her tone sincere but with a hint of embarrassment. "I just wanted to apologize for earlier... We didn’t mean to make things uncomfortable for you...And for using your first name."
Mrs. Grahams raised an eyebrow, clearly not used to this kind of apology, but then she softened, offering a small smile. "It’s alright, dear. Just... maybe next time, keep it to the less public places, hmm?"
Tara nodded quickly, grateful. "Of course. I promise, no more making out by the shelves."
“And Y/N, I didn’t expect that from you. I basically raised you, child.” She stated, feigning a strict tone.
Your cheek had a slight pink hue, embarrassed at the attention and comment. The librarian chuckled after seeing your reaction, shaking her head in amusement.
“I’m kidding, please be more mindful next time, eh? I doubt anyone wants to see you both shoving your tongue down each other’s throats.”
You flushed even more, but your lips tugged upward. “We’ll try to be more considerate next time. Thanks Mrs. Grahams.” You gave a small, sheepish wave before grabbing Tara’s hand and heading back toward the door.
“At least we’re off her watchlist. For now.” You gave her a teasing smile. "You’re lucky she didn’t ban you from the library."
Tara smirked. "Please, as if. I’m too cute to ban."
———
You gave Tara a sideway glance, noting the subtle shift in her posture. She was chewing on her lips, clearly caught in her own train of thoughts.
"So," you said, trying to break the awkwardness, "about… everything that happened tonight."
Tara gave you a quick look, then looked back ahead, her voice a little quieter than usual. "Yeah."
You let out a soft sigh, the words you wanted to say feeling heavier than expected. "So, are we... are we actually, like, doing this now?" You motioned between the two of you, trying to lighten the mood, but your heart was beating a little faster as you waited for her answer.
Tara hesitated for a second before she finally spoke. "I mean, are we doing this or not?" Her voice was teasing, but there was an underlying uncertainty in her eyes that you hadn’t expected.
You stopped walking for a moment, forcing her to pause with you. "I think we’re doing this, but... I don’t know, we've never really... said it out loud, you know?"
Her lips curled into a soft smile as she crossed her arms, eyes narrowing a little. "You really want to hear it, huh?"
You shrugged, feeling a little embarrassed but trying to keep the tone light. "I guess I’m just wondering if we're on the same page."
Tara took a deep breath, her shoulders dropping slightly as she looked up at you. "I’ve been waiting for you to ask," she said softly. "Yeah. I’m in. I want to make this work." She paused, her eyes locking onto yours, a little nervous but mostly serious. "I’m yours, if you want me."
You felt a small sense of relief wash over you, your heart warming at the sincerity in her words. "I definitely want you," you said with a grin. "And, for the record, I’m yours too."
Tara's face softened, the playful tension between you both melting away. She nodded, a little sheepish but clearly relieved. "Good. Because I was about to get all mushy on you, but I wasn’t sure if you’d run for the hills."
You laughed, shaking your head. "Mushy? I can handle it, promise."
Tara raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Well, in that case..." She leaned in closer, her breath warm on your face. "I think I can finally say... you’re stuck with me now." You chuckled softly, pulling her into a hug. "I’m good with that," you whispered, feeling the weight of everything finally settle into something solid, something real.
As you pulled back, you both shared a quiet moment, the air between you now full of the quiet joy of finally having a label, a confirmation. It felt right, like something had finally clicked into place.
"So," you asked, breaking the silence, "does this mean I get a kiss now, or…?"
Tara rolled her eyes, but there was that familiar smile playing at the corner of her lips. "You’ve been getting kisses since the library," she teased.
You grinned, reaching for her hand. "Well, now it’s official, so I’m just making sure." With that, you both laughed, the uncertainty that had once hung between you now fully gone. Tara gave in to your request and tip toed to give you a slight peck on the lips and cheek.
You were together, and it felt like the start of something exciting—something that would no longer be interrupted by bad timing or distractions.
And as you walked down the street, hand in hand, Tara leaned in and kissed you, soft but certain.
"Definitely official," she whispered against your lips.
"Definitely," you replied, feeling like the world finally made sense. And for the first time, it felt like nothing was getting in the way.
———
a/n: i'll try my best to be more active from now on! I have a few ideas for pics that I might write down and post, but you're all welcome to send me ideas of your own!! I know this part is slightly short, but I'll try to lengthen up my fics in the future :)
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aheathen-conceivably · 1 month ago
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Summer ended in a sort of limbo. Every corn stalk was cut at its base, the dried roots left to wither in the ground with an unspoken hope that the earth would take them and the memories of failure back into its embrace. Melancholy hung in the air where they had once grown, emanating from Giorgio and Zelda more than anyone despite the fact that neither were mourning the same thing. 
Its pall settled even on Josephine, who found her sharpened tongue uncharacteristically soft in Giorgio’s presence. They spent their days quietly, the ongoing fight between them paused at least in respect to the heavy weight of change in the air. But deep down, in ways she subtly tried to nudge him toward, she was just waiting for his grief to transform into excitement. She wanted to shout that something dead now meant that something else could grow; and that the longer he lingered here, in the valley between one phase of life and another, the harder it would be to ever let go.
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She could feel it pulling her down like an undertow, creeping into her thoughts and slowing down her mind. It had been years since she'd been trapped there, somewhere between the comforting haze of memories and a dauntingly nebulous idea of the future. Its pull terrified her, and so in the back of her mind she started counting. Five weeks. Then four. Now only three. Three weeks until their next tour. Only more three weeks of trying to walk on eggshells and then she could escape this vortex of melancholia hanging in the air for the open road and the -
A purposeful knock sounded at the front door of the cabin. She looked over at Gio, who’s eyes were closed in the midday sun. After waking near sunrise and spending hours fixing things that didn’t need to be fixed or cooking furiously, he often fell asleep around this time. She feared it was because he didn’t sleep at night, even though she herself slumbered as dreamless as a bleary eyed drunk. 
The knock sounded again, more impatiently this time. She threw her bare feet off the bed and ran to the front door.
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She opened the door too quickly, unknowingly giving away just how excited she was to see whoever was on the other side. When she saw that it was Hosa Grove, she had to keep her hand on the door to hide her disorientation. He tipped his hat downward in greeting. “Forgive me, Miss Josephine. I’m only in town for the day and Val told me where I’d find you. You know a phone would be wise in your line of work, don’t you?”
She stopped her eyes from going wide in surprise, rolling onto the balls of her feet to seem a fraction of the height she would have been in heels. Barefoot and barefaced, standing in the open door of her home, she knew that she was already at a disadvantage in whatever this was. “Is everything alright with our tour?”
“You’re a wily one, Miss Josephine. You know that?” He laughed in the same unreadable way that Val did, and suddenly Jo realized where she had gotten it from. “Yes. Everything’s fine with your tour. Could be that I cut it here and now given the circumstances you’ve gotten us into, but instead I'm here to counter your little bout of disloyalty with an offer of my own.”
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So he knew about George’s dance halls. She crossed her arms, tilting her hip toward the door as she tried to ignore the scratch of the wood on her bare feet. “I got my hands on a dance hall just over the California line. Pair of gangsters were running it before they got chased outta down. Grade A place compared to what we got now; but I want it back up and running in a week, and I want Antoine there for opening night.”
He held out his hand as she started to speak. “Now hold your horses. I want a non-compete. On this tour and any of my bars you play at from here on out.”
Purposeful confidence flooded her voice as she tried to turn the scales back in her favor. “Sounds like you’ve got to admit that Antoine’s performances at George’s only served you all the better then. Spread his name around. Built some excitement. You plaster posters of his face for your opening and now the whole state knows you bested George with your very own dance hall. Guitarist and all.”
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When he narrowed his eyes it highlighted the scar running through his eyebrow. I know why he does it now. Why he rides up and down the route without any real sense of home. “Don't you think I know that? It’s the only reason I’m here making you this offer at all. See I don’t usually take kindly to disloyalty, Miss Josephine. But I like you, and I like to think you’ve done us both a service with your maneuverin’ whatever your intentions may have been. So can you be in California by Friday or not?"
His final sentence had been spoken with such a note of finality that Jo knew better than to think it was actually a question. Because even if she wanted to, how could she say no? He was on her goddamn porch, scowling and knowingly holding the upper hand no matter how many ways she looked at the deal. So she buried her hesitation and extended her hand in his direction.
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As he took it in his own, the anger on his face softened immediately. “Best get moving then. I know you drive fast but you're gunna need to be wheels on the road by tomorrow if you want to make it for opening. I’ll let Val know. She’ll have the car ready for you this evening.”
As he pulled his hand back he lifted it to his hat, tipping it to someone just over her right shoulder. As his heavy boots turned to move away, Jo glanced to where he was looking and only then realized that Gio had been standing there in the shadows of the living room.
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She angled the door closed, already sensing the fight that was hanging in the air. Fuck. That was the last goddamn thing she needed right now. She had managed to avoid it for weeks, just hoping that it would stay buried amongst the corn where it belonged. A loan, Jo! You said it was a loan! 
Gio’s arms went across his body as he waited silently for the footsteps outside their cabin to disappear. The forced patience only seemed to make him angrier, but it gave Josephine the chance to count her breath, rehearsing the argument in her mind before it had even begun. Poised, practiced retorts flooded her thoughts in a neat list, until finally, the footsteps disappeared off the front porch and Gio's restraint snapped like the lash of a whip.
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“Are you out of your goddamn mind? Did you really just tell him yes without even speaking to Antoine? Jesus Violette thinks her father’ll be here for weeks, and now he leaves tomorrow? What are you going to tell her? What are you going to tell him?”
She didn’t have time for this. The count had suddenly gone from three weeks to one day in a matter of minutes, and this wasn’t about that. It was always something about bigger, some argument that neither of them had a handle on until suddenly their world burst open and he was screaming, A loan, Jo! You said it was just a loan! And she didn’t have fucking time for that.
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She moved past him toward their bedroom, mentally packing even as she spoke. “You saw him! He put me on the spot for a reason. This was a loyalty test. If I had said no - if I had even hesitated, we would be out of a main gig by the time we left in three weeks! I’ll tell Violette, I’ll explain. She’ll listen to me, she always does. She’s smart - she understands -”
“Listen to yourself! She is a child! Jo? Jo!” Her arms were out, rifling through the clothing rack with her back to him. “Jo, STOP IT!”
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She spun where she stood to face him, but only because the force in his voice had destroyed her list of curated excuses and purposeful poise. Instead she wanted to bring her finger to his face so that he would have to grab her by the wrists just to move it. No YOU listen to yourself! So self-righteous about MY family and MY life all while yours is crumbling! 
But there was something in his face that she didn’t like. It was cold and resolved and beyond anything she had prepared for when she had rehearsed this fight just moments before. It was worse than his ire and more powerful than his rage, simply because it was just a reflection of herself that she wasn’t yet ready to see. The mirror in front of her began to crack and warp; but then, whether out of self-preservation or simple selfishness, a switch flipped inside of her. She realized that all she had to do was what she had always planned, only smarter and calmer and - just turn the mirror around.
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One, two, three steps. Then her hand was on his cheek, and he knew that touch. It was comforting - so comforting, and life had only just crumbled. The corn had just been cut. He was mourning everything he had ever wanted. She was there with him amidst the dying leaves. You can do this. I’m here with you. “I know what this is really about, Gio.”
“No that's not it - it’s not about that. It’s -”
“Look at me.” He did as she asked, not even realizing that her eyes were almost even with his because she was using the same trick on him that she had with Hosa minutes before. “I’m sorry I won’t be here when you start work. You know how it is. If you lose your chance it's gone forever. These men are fickle and they find new talent and then you’re out.”
“Jo. That isn’t it. You can’t just -“
“Hey.” She could feel his reflective anger rising, threatening to turn mirror back onto her. “I know the corn failed. I know. I know that this isn’t what you wanted but it will be great, okay? You will be great.”
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With one sentence it was done. Quicker and more bloodless than it would have been with any scathing insult, she had pierced through the crack in his armor that she had found when she was taking it off of him in the dead of night. Her own actions moments before had been forgotten, and when he spoke again his voice was thick but not harsh. “It's just busy labor. There’s nothing to be great at.” 
Guilt rose up from her stomach into her throat. In the back of her mouth it transformed into something that sounded a lot like love. “No, there is. There always is. And you’ll find it, I know you will.”
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But as she pulled his face down to meet her own, she didn’t even realize that she let her bare feet go flat on the worn wool rug beneath them.
Previous / Next
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save-the-villainous-cat · 11 months ago
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“So, are you just going to stare at my pretty face all day, or…?” The villain crossed their arms in front of their chest and rolled with their eyes. It was embarrassing enough, the hero didn’t have to rub it in.
“Is that such a crime?”
The villain let out a humourless huff. Their anger was evident, their frustration obvious.
And the pain, god, sometimes the villain couldn’t even breathe. Getting out of bed was already hard enough but being forced to work under these conditions?
Of course, it could have been worse. As part of their rehabilitation, they didn't need to do much, their work wasn't even that demanding.
But with their injuries, every move seemed to be unbearable.
“Just fuck off.”
“I have some documents to sign for you. My boss insists.” The hero fished a folder out of their bag and, unfortunately, they had indeed more documents. The villain found it quite unbelievable how much they had to sign. Although they knew it wasn't clever not to read over all of the pages carefully, they were too tired to do so.
They didn't really care that much either.
“Or better known as your excuse for visiting me,” the villain joked. Their side started to hurt again, a pain so cruel and prominent that they had to remind themselves to take everything slow.
It was actual hell. Not being able to do anything. Not being able to move freely. Although the doctor had assured them they were healing and doing well, the villain felt everything but fine. It had been over three weeks now and they were still waking up in the middle of the night. Pain robbed their sleep and pain robbed their mobility. They were impatient, they were annoyed.
The interrogation room was very familiar to the villain by now. Every week, they got to meet the hero. Either documents or lectures — whatever topic the hero chose, it was always a long conversation the villain’s body couldn’t manage towards the end.
However, they never said anything. The hero's visits were better than work. They were the best part of the entire week.
“I don’t need excuses to visit you,” the hero said, winking. They pushed the document towards the villain. “Sign here.”
The villain sighed. They didn’t even look at the paper.
“Can you ask them to increase my medication again at least?” the villain asked softly. They took in a deep breath and signed the document on the last page, their pen following their shaking hand's command as quickly as possible.
"I'm sorry, you're already on the highest dose possible."
"Oh." The villain put down the pen and stared at their nemesis. Their nemesis who had captured them. Who had put them in this situation in the first place. They seemed to be recovering just fine. They seemed to be fit and healthy, seemed to be in the prime of their life. Attractive and kind - perfection had carved itself through the hero. "...do you think the people here are honest? The nurses and the doctors, I mean?"
"Some of the best people in the country are working here," the hero said. "That includes medical staff."
"Okay." The villain's voice was quiet. They didn't understand the logistics behind a place like this, they didn't understand anything about the things the hero gave them to sign. "Did you know they're experimenting on me?"
"They take samples from your tissue or blood to look at in the lab. Seriously. You're not in any danger." The hero smiled sweetly and scratched the back of their neck. "I check the reports regularly and I talk to your doctor on a daily basis. It's their priority to help you."
"Why?"
"Well, you're a victim, are you not? We don't know much about the supervillain and their powers, so helping you recover could help us get more information on them. And considering your past, we have to...observe you in a special place like this." The hero leaned over the table to get to the document. Their fingertips touched the villain's knuckles by accident. "That's only one reason, of course. Most importantly, you were beaten to death and needed help."
"It wasn't that bad."
"Half your organs were hanging out of you when I found you," the hero said. Their voice was quieter now, maybe lost in their thoughts even. "I donated a kidney for you."
"You can be so romantic," the villain said. The sarcasm didn't really come across and the villain knew how half-hearted their jokes had become. It wasn't like they weren't grateful, it was just difficult to be saved and have a life when they had accepted their outcome a while ago. That day, they had accepted that they wouldn't survive. They had made their peace with it and then the hero had saved them.
And now, the villain had to live with this horrible pain.
With the nightmares and the fear. They had become a stranger in their own body. It didn't feel like they had control over themselves anymore. Although the hero was right, they couldn't help but feel like a lab rat.
"The point is...you're the only person who has survived them and if they find out you're alive..."
"A facility like this won't hold them back," the villain said. "It would be a minor inconvenience."
"I know, that's why-" the hero held up the document "-you just signed a request for special protection. With me being your caretaker."
Again, that sweet smile spread across their face but the villain didn't really know what that meant. Their poor heart skipped a few beats.
"Are you saying you'll be staying here?" The villain's neck started to heat up. Wasn't this a bit too much? Had they asked for too much? With the medication and the doctors...wasn't this too much effort for the hero to put in?
"I am saying you're coming with me if this gets approved. Which it will."
"Like, to your house?"
"Yes, darling." The hero leaned back in their chair and took in a deep breath. "I've been working on this ever since I found you. I knew the agency wouldn't let you recover in a prison that easily. I argued that you're a victim and a source of information. That brought you here. But still, they made you work in here which I argued to be counterproductive. The law department is pretty annoyed by me."
"I...I'm not sure what to say," the villain said. Their head was reeling. Maybe everything would be a little easier. Maybe waking up would be easier. Were they actually dreaming? They could be out of here soon?
"You don't have to say anything." The hero stood up and walked up to them. Once they were closer to the villain, they sat down on the table, looking down at them. "I just need you to rest."
"You didn't have to do this," the villain said. Their voice was shaking. "You didn't have to save me again."
"I can't help it. By the way, we have matching scars, did you notice that? I can't just leave you in here."
"You suck," the villain said, but there were tears in their eyes. The relief they felt was indescribable. This place was alright. The people were alright. But they weren't the hero. They weren't comforting. With their chair, they moved closer towards them. "You're so horrible."
They leaned their head against the hero's arm, too tired and overwhelmed to hold up the weight of their head anymore. Quickly, the hero went through their hair with their fingers, holding their jaw in their hands and guiding them to lay their head on their lap.
"Oh, honey..." They played with the villain's hair and scratched their scalp softly. Their fingers went over the villain's face, carefully avoiding their bruises. "I promise I will take care of you."
They stayed like this until visiting hours were over.
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fairestbeard · 3 months ago
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Something in the way she waits
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I keep trying to flesh out the reason we, and me in particular, feel such a discomfort with the presence of Claire. And, yes, I have no problem with admitting that I'm biased against her because that is the truth. But I try to make my judgement based on the general flow and pacing of the show and how Claire kind of brings a mostly unwelcome disruption to it.
Now, just to be clear, there's nothing inherently wrong with just being there for someone or being "available". Some people read it that way but I don't. I think her behavior could work and even be useful with certain kinds of people (and who knows whether it's even written to work with Carmy) but it doesn't work with most of us. And it's deliberate in my opinion.
She gives that energy of I'm not going anywhere and not in a good way (to us at least). There has always been this feeling of going somewhere in the show and there's always movement happening. It could be break-neck fast, it could be a slow and easy flow but there's always movement. Carmy, especially, doesn't wait for anything and for someone who accuses other(s) of being impatient, he seems to be the most impatient person. So you would think that someone appearing to stop him in his tracks, as it were, would feel more becoming. But with Claire it feels more stall-y than taking a breather. Now, that's not her fault. I repeat, it's not her fault . She is who she is, but it's Carmy's interaction with that notion that makes it disorienting.
As a not so much of segue, one hilarious bit in their interaction on their initial meeting is this part where she declares, "because you're the bear and I remember you", it gave wanting to take it somewhere big. Somewhere ta-da! She looked like she was going for that aha moment from her body language the way I read it
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but his reaction was the embodiment of and nobody moved...
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I always burst out laughing anytime I get to this part because I've seen a lot of clairecarmy fans hail this moment as him being so deeply touched and even shook by that reveal of hers but the way his face screams
"the fuck does that even mean?"
After this bit, when she gets no real reaction from him, she awkwardly moves to the next goal- getting his contact info. In a perfect world, it would be more enthusiastic since she just rocked his world but here it just felt like painfully gnawing for somewhere to go. Then he gives her a fake number and we know the rest of the story.
BUT THE END OF THE SCENE... She finally gets what she wanted; his contact, even though she didn't know it was a fake one. Then she just... stays there! This was a chance meeting right? She did come there to get something or for her own needs right? So why does she just relax more in that waiting position like she had nothing else to do? Especially with the finality to Carmy's "okay" delivery which to me looks like a polite dismissal. In an ideal scene after she (or they) reach that point, she'd promise to reach out and go about her business- the business that brought her here in the first place, while he looks on or contemplates or whatever. But she just hangs there after what seems like a conclusion with that "bingo!" smile.
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This image of waiting pervades every interaction they have. The way she, even though she's supposed to have a chaotically full life, seems to be developing her whole persona around waiting for Carmy to choose her, to go there with her. And there doesn't feel like where Carmy really wants to go? It's like that person that doesn't actively push you in one direction but does, in the sense that, they quietly wear you down with their presence till you choose anyway and usually what they want.
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I've heard a lot of people say "if the roles were reversed" Yes! If the roles were reversed it would stick out as more grating and more sinister. Because if it's a man it should be more grating because it is more sinister. If the roles were reversed we would immediately fear for Carmy's actual life but we know in this case we don't have to in the visceral way we would. Nobody is expecting Claire to wait around a corner for Carmy with a scalpel in her hand or anything like that. And even if she did mention it and Carmy could be said to have taken it at least a little seriously (with the way he initially looked spooked by Sammy's appearance in season 3), no one is expecting her to actually sic the Faks on him. Not that these things can't happen but we don't expect it. Naturally.
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But that doesn't make her any less annoying or unnerving. I always react to Claire scenes with a tired sigh or an eye roll or an exasperated laugh. She wears me down. She tires me out. She straight up bores me. No matter how much I try to watch her scenes with understanding, that coy, expectant gaze drives me up a wall. The way she always has different versions of that look, even in Carmy's panicked flashbacks.
For some reason, her whole presentation feel like a parody of something. Like a cheesy highschool romance flick you only see once. Like that cheesy highschool romance flick where the pretty temptress-esque classmate at the party gives a (usually more enthusiastic) naive plain boy sultry inviting looks, while he, enraptured, slowly follows her down a dark path to a corner where he is suddenly mercilessly gutted with a scalpel by a masked assailant and you quickly realize you were actually watching a horror movie.
(I'll circle back to this imagery in a different meta)
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I don't think Claire was written to be taken seriously. And if we are watching her from Carmy's point of view, I don't think he ever took her seriously in any capacity. Because the way she seems to have no depth at all even though she's supposed to be this bad ass, big deal, life changing character in Carmy's life. The way she feels kind of like a caricature. It's almost unfair. But there's a reason she's there, and I don't think she was brought in just to scare the sydcarmies. I have a feeling she plays a bigger part in Carmy's story and we'll have to brace for it. It might even be interesting.
Hopefully it's not anything silly like an endgame.
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rhiannonsknife · 7 months ago
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this is based off of something i saw in your mean dom!jackie blurb but i'm kind of obsessed with the idea of jackie riding your face...
she's so shy about it at first, asking you if you're sure and that she's worried about hurting you but you need her so badly that you reassure her that it'll all be ok and to just "get up there already, please"
her thighs shake as she's lowering herself down onto your face. you eventually get fed up with how slow she's coming down that you wrap your hands around her thighs and pull her down onto your face, not even caring that it lowkey hurt 😭
she's keening at the first feeling of your tongue in her cunt and it's not long before she's grinding herself against your face, hands tangling in your hair as she rides your tongue. it's so sloppy and so wet but at the same time it's so perfect and you're convinced you could die like this, face between her thighs and suffocating against her pussy
-🪐
i can’t thank you enough for picking up on that. because yes!! yes!!!
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so: face riding with jackie <333
whether this is mean!dom jackie from this thought we’re talking about or just jackie in general, i think she’d love the idea of riding your face! she’s probably been fantasizing about it forever before she’s finally brave and comfortable enough to bring it up. (after an insane amount of pillow humping, fucking herself to the thought simply isn’t enough anymore. she needs to ride your face instead.)
so, jackie decides to be bold about it and finally brings it up:
“how long have you been thinking about this?” you ask her, after she’s blurted the words: “i want to sit on your face!” whilst the two of you had been cuddling comfortably. that could’ve gone a bit smoother jackie thinks to herself as she blushes furiously. she half expects you to laugh at her. jeff certainly would have. but then again, she never would’ve wanted to sit on his face to begin with.
“we don’t have to!” she immediately says, shaking her head apologetically. “we can just…go back to watching a movie. or something. you don’t-”
“i want to” you interject.
jackie stares at you blankly. she hadn’t even thought about the possibility of you wanting her to. but, after some more assurance and a lot of fumbling to both get her out of her clothes and find the right position, she’s hovering over you.
at that point, she’s probably still wearing her skirt. you’d been making out for way longer than the ache between her legs could handle, grinding against each other and feeling up the other’s body through too many layers of clothes. now, she’s too impatient, too pent-up to get out of bed and step out of it. so, she keeps it on instead, whilst you’re beneath her in your underwear, licking your lips when you notice the way her inner thighs are glistening with her arousal.
“come here” you urge, reaching around her and holding the back of her thighs. you can feel the muscles in her legs jump under your touch.
“but” jackie points out, shyly biting down on her lower lip. “i don’t wanna hurt you. what if i suffocate you??”
under different circumstances, you would’ve laughed. not now, though, when you can smell her scent when you can see how wet she is for you. and yet jackie is just out of reach from your mouth, depriving you of the heavenly taste of her.
“you won’t” you try again, giving her muscles a firm squeeze that makes her squeal in surprise. “get up here already, jax, please”
you’re not gonna try and pretend like you’re not desperate to finally get a taste of her. to finally eat her out the way you both long for.
when she finally gives in, it is slow, tentative for your sake. jackie doesn’t put her full weight on you, you can tell as much from the way her knees dig into the mattress on either side of your head. you can taste her on your tongue, at least, but you have to cradle your neck to reach her, and she’s still holding back.
so, instead, you reach for her, grab her, and force her down against your mouth. jackie gasps when she truly sits for the first time.
„h-holy shit“ she whispers from above. although you can’t see it from where you’re positioned, jackie’s head has fallen back and she’s panting already.
you only lick through her at first, doing most of the work for her. you lap up the arousal that’s practically dripping from her cunt, humming at the taste of her as the fabric of her skirt flares out around your head. but it isn’t long until jackie takes over, until she’s got enough confidence in her to do what she wants to. what she needs to.
the moment jackie actually starts riding your face, you’re convinced that you could die happy this way. that even if she did suffocate you with her thighs, you wouldn’t mind all that much.
it’s so much all at once and not nearly enough at the same time: the weight of her, grinding against your mouth, your chin, your nose. your whole face, really, smeared in jackie’s arousal.
she grabs a fistful of your hair, tugs on it and pushes you closer, further into her cunt until she’s just bouncing on your tongue, high-pitched moans spilling from her lips while she gets off on your face.
it honestly becomes one of her favorite positions. there are few things she’d rather do in bed, knowing she can simply use your face to get off and then lick it from your skin once she’s done <3
jackie cums so fast like this, too :(( the first time, she might actually apologize for the way she finishes within mere minutes. but, once it becomes something the two of you regularly do, she stops with the apologies altogether, realizing that there’s no point in them whatsoever and that she’ll always end up cumming all over your face in record time. (and just wait until jackie finds out about 69…that position hates to see her coming…)
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sweetinsaniiity · 1 year ago
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Another Life
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► 𝙿𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 - photographer!wooyoung x fem!reader!Y/N x OT8Teez! (𝒶𝓈 𝒻𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓃𝒹𝓈) ◄ ► 𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚜/𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎 - fluff, friendship, unrequited love, slice of life, angst, plot twist, slow burn, friends to-strangers to-friends , moving on , happy ending (or is it?) ◄ ► 𝚃𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚛 𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 - depression, anxiety ◄ ► 𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝 - 23.4K ◄ ► 𝚂𝚢𝚗𝚘𝚙𝚜𝚒𝚜 - someone who was afraid of getting out of their comfort zone and someone who was afraid of committing to anything and anyone is never a good combination. Would Wooyoung remain in your life if you confessed? If he left, what would you do? ◄
► 𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜 - Hello! This is my first fanfic, at least here on Tumblr! Cut me some slack I suppose lmao and let me know if I should continue. If so, let me know if you want to be added to my future taglist! Title from Motionless In White. ◄
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I'm not God, but they're trying to kill me. This all-knowing desperation I've been feeling for quite sometime now, I mean.
I don't remember the last time I've felt this lonely. There were times where my emotions felt a little too much to handle, but not to the point that rendered me unable to want to feel alive. Today, the sadness drained through me rather than lingering outside my skin, traveling through every nerve, but to my surprise, it rather electrified me to want to do something.
That's good, right? And so I did.
"I'll be back at noon," I told my kind mother, passing through her to try and get to the door before I changed my mind.
"I'm glad you've been going out lately, honey. Let me know when you need anything, okay?" she beamed, quite pleased that I was trying to do something with my life rather than mope around in my room all day.
Oh, how clueless she was. The truth was, I didn't want to let her know about the consuming melancholy that my heart had been feeling. 
Ever since I had decided to quit my job, nothing but bad luck has been coming my way. I know it was stupid, to just up and go just because I was unsatisfied with what I was doing, but truth be told, I was not happy anymore. I could never go on doing something I truly wasn't happy with.
But I was bored out of my mind, and most of all, I felt utterly useless and hopeless. It was dangerous - the path my thoughts were taking me. It's the road that led to my burnout, and the impatience this world had always given me.
"No point in trying to convince myself that things would be different," I mumbled to myself, sitting on the park bench nearby.
Click, click
I was so lost in thought that I didn't even notice that my feet took me to the park I always went to when I just wanted to be alone in my thoughts and think of my next move. I suppose I was always so discontented with my life that my body had subconsciously learned what to do on its own.
Click, click
No matter, I thought, I was the master of pushing it through. My path had been very foggy lately, anyway. I just have to be patient if the world can't do it for me so I can wait for it to clear up and show me the next adventure that lay ahead of me. 
Click, click
I frowned, what in the hell is that clicking sound I keep hearing?
I pulled my cardigan close, as if doing so would stop the exposure I suddenly felt from being out in the open. I looked around, but there was nothing. There were parents with their children, dogs with their owners, coaches with their students, and ducks with their ponds.
"Miss? You dropped this---"
"Oh my God!" I squealed like cattle about to be slaughtered as I turned around to find the source of the sudden voice. I had always been jittery, you see.
I turned around, and the most handsome man I have ever seen in my life was behind me holding what seems to be my phone. I didn't even realize that I'd dropped it while I was busy spacing out in my thoughts.
His eyes were widened, directed at me. I guess I'm not the only jittery one here. 
He had average length hair that swayed with the oncoming wind, but what set it apart was its bright red tone that was as vivid as the flowers that surrounded both of us. His lips were plump and raised into a charming smile and his steps had a bounce to them.
Oh God, be still, my beating heart. I blushed, the red tinge on my cheeks vibrant in contrast to my pale skin. I hope he can't hear how loud my heart is beating.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to shout at you," I was meeker than I usually was.
He saw the surprise register on my face before I could hide it. His smile becomes wider, I guess he gets this a lot, and the heat on my face gets warmer. If he wasn't good-looking before, he definitely was now.
"Don't worry about it, I didn't mean to scare you," he laughed, handing me my phone. I slowly took it, praying that my hands didn't shake too much.
I swallowed. Even his voice was pretty. It reminded me of soft marshmallows, so pillowy and comforting, so sweet and yet so rich at the same time. I mentally slap myself, I haven't gone out in days and the first thing I do is openly check out a guy who was nice enough to give me my phone back instead of running away with it?
My voluntary isolation sure did its number on me.
But then I saw it. There was something slinging across his shoulder - a bag. It donned a big camera that I knew for a fact was quite expensive. So that was the clicking sound I heard earlier, he was a photographer.
"Ah," he began, scratching the back of his head. "I was snapping pictures of you earlier with this." He gently pats the bag. "Would you like to see?" 
"S-Sure," I agreed, hesitant.
"I'm not a creep, I promise," he panicked, animatedly defending himself by making a point to wave his hands in front of me. I giggled a little. He was cute. "I do this for a living, street photography I mean."
"I see. I, uh, sorry to disappoint you, Mr..?"
"Oh. I'm Wooyoung. And why are you sorry? I'm the one who took photos of you randomly," he tilted his head in confusion.
"It's not that," I paused, biting my lip, not knowing how to proceed. I don't miss the way his eyes follow the movement. "I haven't been myself lately, so I probably look unfit for your photography concept..."
I wasn't trying to fish for any sort of compliment. It was true, I did look and feel like shit, to put it simply. I haven't been taking care of myself lately - my clothes were wrinkly, my hair was a bird's nest, my eyes had no life in them, and my face has been splotchy with my dark circles and zit marks.
Unlike him. He was casual, but there was coordination with his outfits, and they looked impeccably new.
"On the contrary, Miss...?"
I laughed a bit. He was cute, and very playful at the same time. What a dangerous combination. His mouth curls into a good-natured smirk. "Y/N. Drop the 'miss', it makes me feel old." 
It was his turn to laugh a bit. "On the contrary, Y/N, yours was the best photo I have taken this week."
My blush deepens immensely, more than I thought I was able to. I matched it with a small, shy smile as my eyes shone in a way that only genuine happiness and appreciation can bring.
I've always been like that. I wish I didn't get so flustered easily. In a flash, my cheeks are rosy and anyone can peek inside my emotions as I had pried my insides open so they watch for themselves.
"Somehow I don't believe that," I chuckled, mentally rolling my eyes.
"No, I'm serious, here," Wooyoung zips his bag open, brings out the expensive looking camera, and presses a button that brings it back to life. "I'll show you."
Wooyoung scoots closer to me, bringing the equipment near my face so I can see the screen. I was so embarrassed at how much I had the urge to sniff him.
He smelled so good - very musky, leathery but very clean at the same time. It gives me the image of a pure sophistication behind a light curtain that envelops you in warmth.
I let out a light gasp, complete surprise taking over the shyness I felt earlier.
There I was, staring out nowhere in particular at the bench I was brooding my bad mood off on. But it wasn't me that stole both of our attention, there was a beautiful wisteria tree I hadn't noticed before behind me.
It was beautiful. The way they cascaded into this marvelous tendrils of purple beauty blended with how forlorn my expression was; the longing, regret, and despondence clearly evident, like the slow descent of its lilac petals, way down they go.
To the naked eye, it looked like a depressed girl with a pretty tree in the background, but to me and Wooyoung, it was so much deeper than that. The photo held so much depth, because at the same time, there was relief in my features. The sadness was exquisite.
"You," I paused, swallowing to force the words out of my mouth. "You made me look human."
"What makes you think I didn't capture you because you were the most human looking in here?"
His smile was the prettiest thing I've seen in a while, prettier than the wisteria, and I can tell it was genuine. I could have melted in a puddle right there. His eyes sparkle like the night sky as he browses at each photo he had taken. He had the passion I lacked.
"Do you want copies of it?" Wooyoung inquired.
Did I want copies of it? Did I want to stare at myself and get reminded every time about how lonely my life currently was? I don't know, I wasn't the sentimental type. He senses my hesitation and frowns a bit. 
He grabs a small piece of card and hands it to me. "Here's my card," he points at it. "That's the address, come swing by whenever you have the chance and I will give it to you, okay?"
I bit my lip apprehensively with a nod, pocketing the card in my cardigan. "Alright, I will think about it."
"I hope you do," he clicks his tongue, swiping it across his bottom lip. I stopped breathing for a second. "I wouldn't want to waste such a pretty photo."
I swallowed. "A-Ah, do I have to pay for it?"
"I guess you're going to have to find out, hmm?" he smirked, gently tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. "There, much better."
I froze, not really knowing what to do. I sighed softly, I have been so deprived of touch because I poured all of my time on work. Well, at least what used to be my work. 
Wooyoung juts his hand out, waiting for me to shake it. I grabbed his hand halfheartedly. "I hope we see each other again," he said.
After we said our goodbyes - him being bubbly to the very end as he walked away and me just nodding as I watched him go - I treaded my way home.
I took out the card he gave me earlier, which turned out to be a business card, I realized, and not just a personal card. Of course, Y/N, he just met you, why would he give you his personal details? As I inspected the card further, it brought me slight joy to know that his work place wasn't far from my house, just a couple of blocks away.
I was hesitant, truth be told, it was probably a one time encounter, most likely a business tactic to get someone to go into their studio and do business with them. I felt bad because Wooyoung seemed like a genuine person, but there was no way I was adding any sort of change in my current life right now, my mind was a mess as is.
With that, I crumpled up the card and threw it in the nearest bin.
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I paused at the doorway, hesitating before anyone - Wooyoung - knew I was here. I knew I had to go in, and by God, I was nervous as hell. I just needed a few minutes to compose myself.
The curiosity had been eating away at me. It had been 2 weeks before deciding I would stop prancing around at it and just get it over with.
To hell with it, I thought, hastily putting on the most mediocre outfit I can get away with today. It wasn't meant to impress, a simple white tee paired with jeans and sneakers was enough to look decent and be comfortable at the same time.
Deep inside, maybe I just wanted to see the striking photographer again and hear his voice; to see his sparkling eyes that quickly held me in like a moth to a flame.
I stepped in and was immediately greeted by a myriad of photographs that were just placed where they were, the closest thing we get to a time capsule. I was immediately amazed by how versatile the photos were - all of them had their own stories to tell.
A photograph of an old, vintage clock caught my attention. I'm not very knowledgeable, but it was an antique, I was sure of it. It was made out of wood that probably looked sleek during its era. 
Unconsciously, I touched the frame, like it would come back to life if I did. Then, I saw something at the bottom right of the frame. Taking a closer look, it was a series of small letters stamped on it.
J. WY/Budapest, Hungary/2023/Paradigm
I traced the embossed letters lightly with my fingertips. It was obvious that this one was Wooyoung's piece. He had a very particular style in his art, he tended to focus on the subjects and the corresponding backgrounds were something to compliment the subject, and not to supply added detail. It was very interesting.
"I can hear the gears in your head turning from where I am."
I was a deer in headlights once more with him. "You got a thing for sneaking up on me?" I teased.
There he was in his handsome glory leaning by the door with his arms crossed. "Maybe," he smirked coyly.
My heart went up to my throat when I realized that today, his hair slicked back today. I was able to see his face clearly, his beauty was insane. Heaven knows I would look like a wet chicken. He walks steadily towards me and stares fondly at the vintage watch photo.
"I went to Budapest with all of my friends, we all work in this studio together, for a vacation," he chuckled, reminiscing. "But I couldn't resist not taking the scenery for work. God, that place was beautiful..."
Just like you.
I cringed internally, turning my head a bit away from him so he couldn't see the grimace on my face. It wasn't a lie, he was beautiful, but I wasn't going to admit that to him, or anybody for that matter.
"I like them," I thoughtfully mumbled.
Wooyoung turns to look at me, and I tried very hard not to look at him back by pretending that I was inspecting the photo furthermore. There was not a lick of knowledge in my head about photography, I hope he doesn't notice that. 
He stares for what seemed like forever, not blinking nor breathing, the effect was a slow burn waiting to incinerate the thin thread that bound us both. Although I wasn't looking straight at him, it was his lips that gave away that he knew that I knew what he was doing; he wasn't smiling, there was just a slight tilt on one corner.
"Do you, now?" he wondered, now full-on smirking.
"Yes," I affirmed. Was that rhetoric? Was I supposed to say no?
He audibly sighed, and I frowned. I know that sound, it was the sound of negative memories suddenly surging our minds, crashing in like a tidal wave, and my, once you start? They become very addicting, slowly consuming your thoughts until they become no more.
"You know, I never used to look at the photos I snap after I take 'em?" Wooyoung's smile was tinged with hurt, but more so of reminisce. "I just snap, snap, and then keep snapping and hope for the best outcome when San develops them in the back for me."
"Is that what you did when you stole those moments of mine a couple of weeks back?" I swallowed nervously, my body was already anxious and my brain is trying to catch up on it any moment now.
"No," he firmly articulated, so firmly my heart leapt to my throat and tightened it further. 
Wooyoung gently grabs my chin, turning it towards himself so I can make eye contact with him. "Because I knew you wouldn't come back to me until a few days after. I saw it in your eyes."
To him? This was the second time he stole something from me. Instead of a photo, now it was the breath from my lungs. I am on fire, my skin was burning from his touch. 
"Frankly, I wasn't expecting two weeks, that was longer than I anticipated," he chuckled lowly, his thumb caressing my cheek tenderly, and I let him. I was too frozen to protest.
"You knew all that even before you approached me that day? From that far?" I raised a brow. I was hesitant, but I was willing to play his game even though I knew he was probably bullshitting me.
"I'm a photographer, Y/N. It's my job to look through the windows of people's souls---"
"What do you want from me?"
Wooyoung lets go of my face, hands now in his pockets. He doesn't look a bit surprised, just a little concerned. "What do you mean?" he frowned, tilting his head to the side in wonder.
The paranoia in me had always been borderline terrified of not only trying new things, but also meeting new people in association. The underlying fear of deception from years and years of let down between family and friends has rendered me closed off of opening allowances to let myself experience new things and let people in.
"You act like we're friends, and we are not," I bit my lip, exasperated. "I don't like that."
"Are you saying that there are certain prerequisites to being friends with other people?" Wooyoung tuts, frowning deeper. "Everyone has to start from somewhere, no?"
He was right, I can admit that. I began to see how my self-deprecating thoughts had kept me all alone, and frankly, I was none the wiser on what it's like on the side.
"I'll tell you what, Y/N, how about I give you your photo and you can tell me what you're thinking over coffee, perhaps? I make a mean cup of coffee," Wooyoung suggested kindly, his eyes shining in anticipation for my response.
I frowned, shuffling my feet in anxiety. "What if people come inside your studio? And your friends?"
"Don't worry about that," he smiled, already taking a step towards the other room where he came from. "We actually don't open on the weekends. I just always came in because I was worried you would come looking for me when I wasn't here."
It was such a simple gesture, but it blew both my heart and my mind. My heart is so full right it could burst in any minute.
Wooyoung flashes me his million dollar smile, the one that made me want to see him again, and holds his hand out for me to grab. "Why are you hesitating?"
"I hesitate because I need to be sure because for the first time in a while, there are things that I do want, and the consequences of my errors would forever haunt me," I blurted uncontrollably, babbling before I could stop my mouth from speaking.
My mind began to work overload with anxiety but before I could act out on them, Wooyoung laughed out loud. His eyes crinkle upwards into the cutest crescents, and his beautiful lips stretched out with mirth. 
His laughter reminded me of a fox, loud and boisterous, and I couldn't help but join in with him as he warmed my soul and made my day. "You're fine, come on," he urged me in between laughter.
More photos, albeit with unfinished frames, greeted me when I followed Wooyoung into what I can only assume was the kitchen. It was small, but it was nice and actually very functional. I sat into one of the sleek, modern stools and leaned towards the small kitchen island while Wooyoung went to town and made both of us coffee.
"Sugar?" he absentmindedly asked.
"H-Huh?" I was a deer in sudden headlights.
Wooyoung seemed to be confused too as we both looked at each other in bewilderment. Without warning, his face contorts into a laughing mess again, making me blush.
"I was asking if you wanted sugar in your coffee," he chuckled. "Although if you want me to call you sugar, that could be arranged too."
I blushed even deeper, awkwardly covering my face in embarrassment. I felt the tips of my ears heat up and I must have looked so stupid in front of him. "Stop," I groaned, my voice muffled by my hands.
And being the gentleman he was, he did actually stop teasing me.
But it was mainly because he had two steaming mugs of coffee carefully balanced with his two hands as he walked towards me. I mumbled a 'thanks' when I received mine. 
"Now we can talk about why you're very sad," Wooyoung took a sip from his mug without breaking eye contact with me. I gulped.
My brows shot upwards in surprise and my eyes widened in apprehension at the same time. "How did you know I was sad?" I inquired, not sure on how to react.
Wooyoung smiled mischievously. "I just do," he winked.
Having no choice, and frankly having no one to talk to in general, I told him everything. I told him how I had quit my previous job because I was beginning to feel very unhappy with the toxicity that surrounded me and how suffocating it was to stay in a place where you weren't even wanted.
I told him how I was trying to look for another job, but the fear of trying a new one and not being sure if it was a good suit for me was a little daunting, so to speak.
He listened attentively to each word I said, not once interjecting to put his two cents in before I was done finishing, and only asking me some small questions for the sake of clarification. 
It almost makes me want to cry at how attentive he was to me, even though this was only the second time we're meeting. The way his eyes bore into me while I poured my heart out, the way he would nod and acknowledge the things I would say, he was such a good listener.
I can't say I've had too many good friends in my life, though there have been a few close ones, they were not enough for me to say that they were good to me. Wooyoung seemed to be a rare gem, one that I would love to keep for myself.
"What if I told you I know a place where you can start working?"
"You do?" I was hopeful.
Wooyoung nodded. "But are you sure you're going to be okay going to work so soon again?"
My chest warms up with his words. "I have to do it," I sighed deeply. "Y-You were right, if I don't start now, then I won't start at all."
He smiles broadly. "That's a good outlook, I like that..."
He proceeded to tell me about the boutique down the street a couple of blocks away from his studio and they were looking for someone to keep tabs of sale and returned products. As it turned out, the owner was Wooyoung's very close friend and the boutique was where they get their clothes and props whenever they had a photoshoot going on.
"He's a nice guy and I'm positive he'll like you, just let me call him so I can pitch in a word for you, hmm?" Wooyoung pulled his phone out and was about to dial the number, but I interjected before he could do it.
"W-Wait, don't do it," I squeaked, holding my hands out to him to stop him from doing so.
"What's the matter?" Wooyoung's eyes softened at my panicked state and I almost felt bad. I barely knew this man and he probably thinks I'm so pathetic already. It was disheartening.
"You've helped me so much already, I'd feel bad if you did this for me," I admitted.
"And what exactly have I done for you?"  
"Listening to me rant was a big thing for me, and you do make a mean coffee," I giggled, he smiles shyly. "And you gave me justice on the photo you took of me."
"Speaking of that," Wooyoung stood up from his stool. "Wait here."
He left to go back to the front entrance of the studio, and he came back immediately. "Here."
He nudged a square-shaped packaging in front of me. I took it and from touch, I knew it was a picture frame that he had wrapped so carefully and perfectly, there were no creases on the wrap. My heart was beating so fast and my fingers were shaking ever so slightly.
"Open it when you get home," he instructed. "And I'm going to call him, my friend I mean. If I'm helping you anyway, I might as well go all out on it." 
"It's not a big deal," Wooyoung continued when I didn't respond, playfully flicking my forehead. "What are friends for?"
An explosive sensation boomed its way into my head all the way down to my chest, leaving a searing type of numbness in its trail. "Okay," I mumbled.
Unfortunately, I had to say goodbye to him because I told my mother I was only picking the picture frame up, I was not expecting to stay this long, so she was probably worried. Fortunately, Wooyoung understood and walked me out. We couldn't properly converse afterwards anyway because a client of his suddenly called out of the blue after he had dropped the call with his boutique owner friend.
We said our goodbyes and I speed walk all the way to my house with the carefully wrapped picture frame in my hands. There was an explosion in my brain - the good kind - and a surge of excitement that electrified my whole being. I could feel it in my bones.
This is the very time I have ever been excited with a mystery. I hated surprises growing up because I was scared I wouldn't like the surprise.
With no time to waste, I quickly locked myself in my room, taking all of my clothes off in a haste and replacing them with something more comfortable and nap worthy. I unwrapped the gift like an animal tearing its prey apart to find their treasure inside.
Tears found their way in my eyes. I had no words, the photo itself was beautiful, I had seen it before, but Wooyoung had left a small note taped on the frame for me to read when I opened it.
You're worth more than you think. Wanna hang out tomorrow, beautiful? I also make mean brownies ;)
I completely broke down, hysterically crying not from sadness, but from the joy of the events that have been happening to me. Maybe being his friend wasn't so bad after all.
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"So you must be Y/N, correct?"
Having a direct connection like Wooyoung did wonders from my interview process and I was called exactly a week after he made the call. 
"Y-Yes, I am," I did a deep 90 degree bow immediately, but not before the man's eyes widened a bit. "L/N Y/N, Sir. I'm very h-honoured to be chosen for this role."
Needless to say, I am a nervous wreck. Wooyoung conveniently forgot to tell me that this was no ordinary boutique. It's a very well known fashion brand that had the catchy 'started from the bottom, now we're here' origin story.
I opened my eyes, I didn't notice they were tightly shut before, when I felt hands nudging me to stand up straight. "It's okay," he laughed. "I don't bite, please stand up..."
This one was handsome as well. He had an edgier style to him that was unique to him and him only. Think bold, defiant, and unconventional. His blue hair added to that grunge aesthetic.
He cleared his throat before speaking. "Kim Hongjoong, owner, and your future boss," he grinned.
My face pales a bit. The Kim Hongjoong? The great mind behind the boutique NO1LIKEME? The one Wooyoung had casually called and got me in? What has my life become in a month?
"Scaring the new girl already, Joong?"
I turned around, and a taller man with dark hair and almond shaped eyes smiled lightly at me with his thick lips. I almost rolled my eyes, either I'm losing my mind, or Wooyoung, himself, and all of his friends are all damn attractive.
"Oh, this is her?" he pointed at me, to which Hongjoong nodded. "I see. Song Mingi, thank you for considering us."
Thank me? I scoffed internally, the co-founder of NO1LIKEME is thanking me for working with them? I suppose that was why they were successful.
Mingi excused himself to man the business while Hongjoong had toured me around the shop. It was a lot bigger on the inside than I had initially thought.
I couldn't help but become very excited as Hongjoong showed me how he personally designs most of their pieces without trying to mass produce the majority of their products, which was very respectable on his end because mass producing can downgrade their quality.
The brand that I only reached in my dreams is now my workplace. I have to thank Wooyoung personally when I see him again.
They needed someone to do inventory checks and match them with the accountancy department. Hongjoong has a big project coming soon to collaborate with an international brand and Mingi has to take over for now while he's abroad. Fair enough.
As we were about to go into his office to sit down and discuss further, I stopped in my tracks. The most gorgeous black, flared dress was hanging in one of the posts. It's very simple, but very versatile, not too long as it stopped above the knee, and the sheer bodice elevated it.
"You like it?" Hongjoong asked before I had the chance to feel the fabric.
"I love it, actually. I've never seen anything like it," I admitted.
He chuckled, plucking the dress from its hanger and handed it to me gently after he folded it in half. "Make sure it's well-loved, then, because it's yours now."
"W-What?" I spluttered, eyes wide open. "No, I was just admiring it, I can't possibly take it. C-Can I pay for it, at least?"
"Think of it as your first day perk," he shrugged. "And no offense, giving away one dress isn't going to make a dent in my business."
I blushed, embarrassed to the highest degree. I was just about to thank him profusely when Mingi suddenly popped his head by the door.
"They're here," was all he said before Hongjoong and I walked back into the main part of the shop.
And there he was - Wooyoung. He was in an engrossed conversation with Mingi along with another - surprise, surprise - handsome man. He had a manlier aura to him compared to the other three, which was an interesting mix to his feline features.
Wooyoung, as if sensing I was present, turned to my direction and the look in his eyes made my insides churn in excitement. His friends were all pretty, but none of them had an effect on him like he did.
"Hey Joong," Wooyoung greeted after approaching me and Hongjoong from across the boutique. He smiled even brighter as he ruffled my hair lightheartedly. "Are you taking care of my Y/N?"
I blushed beet red, lowering my gaze with a nervous laugh to avoid any sort of eye contact. He can't just say these things and not expect me to react! The cat-looking man Wooyoung was with smirks at me, clearly amused.
But maybe, it was just me putting more to it than I should. Wooyoung has been nothing but kind to me and I can't reciprocate that with anything other than gratefulness.
"Get the hell out of here," Hongjoong chided, rolling his eyes, but teasingly because his eyes were full of the same mischief, but they were gone when he turned to me. "My assistant, Jongho, will call you sometime this week so you can get started officially."
I stopped the urge to bow deeply again at him as he turned around to go back behind the shop and instead repeated multiple 'thank yous' at him to express my gratitude. 
"Y/N, this is San, my long time friend and co-worker in the studio," Wooyoung introduced me to the other guy he was with when there were just the three of us left.
San smiles and his deep dimples pop out along with it. He nods in acknowledgement. "Very nice to meet you, Y/N, I personally loved that one photo of yours that Wooyoung took."
"He is a good taker," I shyly replied, blushing at the compliment, although I knew it wasn't directly referenced to me.
San snorted. "Yeah, that's the only thing he's good at."
"Hey!"
Wooyoung playfully swatted San's bulky arms in defense. We all had a small laugh before they both noticed the bag I was holding with the dress inside of it. I simply told both of them that Hongjoong had just given it to me after I admired it.
Behind the strict demeanor of being a boss, was the very generous and giving nature of Hongjoong, apparently. He had meant to give me something anyway simply because I was now friends with them, and also because Wooyoung spoke highly of me. I slightly felt bad because really, I would have been fine without it.
I should have thanked him more before he left.
"I would love to stay with you both and hang out," San glances at his phone to check the time. "But I have business to attend to. Where's Mingi?"
I pointed at some random door where I saw the latter enter earlier. I was about to leave since technically today wasn't my first day, just an introduction to the shop, and was about to basically run back to my house, when Wooyoung follows me out the door and slings his arms across my shoulders.
"Oh, you're leaving San?" I halted on my tracks, blushing profusely like some hormonal teenager that's never been touched by the opposite sex before.
"He was never meant to come," he chuckled. "I was about to fetch you and he decided he was going to come with me since he has to pick up some props from this gig we have next week."
My heart was pounding against my chest like a bird wanting to be out of its cage. He was so close to me, so close I could smell his breath, his body heat seeping into my subliminal thoughts.
This was an invasion, an unwanted intimacy. How have I lived without it for so long?
"Are you tired?" Wooyoung suddenly asked, breaking my thoughts apart and scattering them with the wind.
"N-No, not really. Why?"
He pulls me closer, my body plush against his. I wanted to melt. "Good," he grinned. "Let's go."
He starts to walk, but I plant my feet firmly on the ground. "Woah, wait, where are we going?"
"Would you say yes if I said I already reserved a spot to this brunch spot?"
I blinked owlishly at him. "No, I can't, I already ate before I called Mingi..."
The truth was, I was slightly ashamed to go. The last thing I wanted was to be treated like some sort of charity case. 
Also the reason being, no matter how hard I try, I will think of this as a date.
Wooyoung pouts, his hold on me loosening a bit. "Pretty please? What, are you sick of me already because we hang out everyday now?"
My breath hitched, and I was this close to giving in, but I must prevail and resist those big, beautiful eyes that were holding me captive like a tight vice.
"Maybe next time---" I sheepishly began to say, but a prominent growl made both me and Wooyoung freeze.
I cursed under my breath in shame. My stomach had growled, begging to be fed, and had basically called me out on my lie.
"Yeah, you ate alright," Wooyoung sarcastically remarked.
The next thing I knew, Wooyoung had pretty much dragged me to this retro looking place. It was the opposite of intimate and warm, rather, it was very bright and lively, filled with colorful tables, a snack bar, and the entire wall was made to be a canvas for purposeful graffiti.
Immediately, we sat at the very end of all of the available tables and no time was wasted when we ordered something quick, yet filling for the both of us; a clubhouse sandwich for me and a cheeseburger for Wooyoung.
"This place is so nice, where'd you find it?" I was still mesmerized by the whole setup.
"Picked it out with you in mind," he smirked.
Instead of blushing like I usually do, I let out a genuine laugh. "Seriously," I shook my head playfully.
"I am serious," he expressed with a slight frown.
"Are you like this with all the people you meet?" I mused, curious on what he has to say.
"Like what?"
"You know, you are a very touchy-feely person, certainly very outgoing as well. Do you usually hang out with everyone like this?"
He paused, staring at me with a blank expression. I swallowed, my mouth suddenly drying up, my breath slowing down.
"Yes, I am," he articulated after a while. "I was born this way I suppose, I swear I don't purposely flirt with everybody I meet."
"Oh," I murmured.
My heart sank, it felt like concrete weighing it down. The high of being out with Wooyoung in one moment was cut down the next. Is this what heartbreak felt like?
A hand on top of mine fully enveloped it with warmth. "But you," Wooyoung's thumbs caressed my knuckles with a small smile. "You're different. I can't explain it, Y/N, I've been trying to reason with myself."
"What do you mean?" It was my turn to ask.
His hand squeezed mine, but I felt like my heart got squeezed instead. "Meeting you was unexpected, but I'm so sure it was written. You're very easy to talk to, and I feel like I'm someone and more. It's either you or I'm alone, do you understand what I'm getting at?"
Of course I do. There has not been a day where we haven't seen each other ever since I stepped foot in that studio.
"I do," I nodded my head, smiling purely at him. "I felt good with you in a way I haven't before with other people, Woo. Thank you for approaching me that day, I'm glad to be your...friend."
His eyes widen a bit and he freezes. "What?" I nervously asked. He giggled like a child with no worry, he was just happy. 
"You called me 'Woo', I like it." 
I nervously laughed, mumbling a little yeah. I didn't even notice.
Luckily for me, our food came in and swooped me out of an incoming awkward conversation, at least on my end.
I couldn't help but let out an endearing smile as I watched Wooyoung thank the waiter kindly and then drool at his cheeseburger. Everything about him was so captivating; he felt like a warm, cozy home.
For now, the glue keeping my heart together is strong. He deserved a good friend, and I will be that for him. 
Wooyoung opened his mouth midair when he caught me staring at him. "Dig in, your food will get cold," he mused with concern.
I nod my head at him with a smile. I think he and I are going to be fine.
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Approximately seven months have passed by since that fateful day. Passing each time with Wooyoung, in the most obscure of situations, made my heart yonder and sing in tunes I never knew were so melodious.
"You know what I've been thinking lately?" Wooyoung mumbled all of a sudden.
He was currently laying on my lap while I played with his hair with one hand and held a book near to my face with the other. "What were you thinking, Woo?"
Safe to say, we've gotten so close with each other, soaking into moments enveloped in warmth, and the happiness was the contentment I never knew I'd ever feel in this lifetime.
Chasing time next to him was my salvation; my heaven on earth.
"Do you have a goal in this life?"
I raised a brow at the sudden question, peeking at him from where I was. He was already staring at me from below, and my blushing cheeks never really got better.
"Too deep of a question this morning," I chuckled. "But what do you mean? Everyone has a goal in life, whether they know it or not."
"True, but what I meant to say is, have you ever had a list of things you wanted to do? Regardless of how weird they are or how unattainable, do you know what I'm trying to say?" Wooyoung, and he did, he was always so dramatic about it.
I gave him a hum before responding. "Are you having an existential crisis?"
"Maybe," he laughed in that contagious, fox-like laugh of his. "So do you?"
"I-I have this small bucket list from when I was like 10," I admitted, lifting my book to hide my face.
Suddenly, it was yanked from me and thrown across the room. My mouth hung in shock. "Wooyoung!"
"Pay attention to me," he pouted.
"What the hell are you? A baby?" I rolled my eyes so far back up my head I was surprised they didn't get stuck behind my head.
"Only if it's yours--ow!" I yanked his hair in warning before I exploded from all the constant flirting. Some things never change.
"Anyway," I paused a bit to think, but decided to just say what was on my mind in the end. "I want to go to Mars."
I held my breath, expecting to hear an obnoxious cackle from Wooyoung, but there was nothing. When I glanced down, there he was - waiting expectantly for me to continue.
"I've always wanted to see a rainbow at nighttime, and no, the Aurora Borealis doesn't count."
"Interesting," he whispered. "Keep going."
The way Wooyoung was looking at me with a soft expression, and I must have looked dumb - my eyes were dilated a bit, dazed, like my brain was having a short circuit.
"Last, I gulped. "I want to hold my breath for a minute straight."
He raised his brows in amusement. "I'm not good at doing it," I defended myself, slightly embarrassed. "The most I've done was 15 seconds."
Wooyoung didn't say anything, he just stared at me intently in the eye as if he was counting all the eyelashes I had attached. He sighed deeply, closing his eyes. I frowned.
"What about you?" I softly asked. "Anything you'd like to do?"
It takes a solid minute for him to reply. "No, nothing in particular," he mumbled, his voice strained. "I don't like committing to something for a long time, you know that."
Indeed, I do. Once again, the shattering reality of how temporary all this was for the both of us was tearing me in two.
"There's just so much out there, you know?" Wooyoung continued. "So much to see, so much to feel, how can I just stay in one place?"
Wooyoung loved photography above anything else and was willing to spread his wings and venture out to find the perfect piece. He disliked committing his all in one place in case he had to leave one day. 
I remember the exact night we talked about it, a rainy day in July where we got too sentimental. I felt like choking, but there was nothing I could do, for this man was not mine to begin with.
"You know I will support you in whatever you want to do," I forced a smile on my face even though my mouth was on fire and my tongue hurt from the lies.
Wooyoung, again, stared at me intently. I blushed deep red, it looked like he was gazing through my skin and peeking through the darkest, deepest parts of my soul. The heat from his hooded eyelids emanated conflicted emotions, and then I saw it die as quick as it came.
"I know."
His sudden playful smirk painting his beautiful face throws me for a whiplash. Whatever that was, never happened.
He whips his phone out and starts tinkering with it with a concentration that looks too good on him - his stupidly attractive arms get veinier when he's concentrating and his brows furrowed together.
"Mars, huh?" he muttered, smirking, still not looking up from his phone.
"Yes? Don't make fun of me," I frowned.
"I'm not," he retorted. I looked at him in disdain. "I'm really not, I swear!"
I chose not to reply. Typical Woyooung, but that's what makes him so damn loveable; he was just being himself.
A couple of minutes later, Wooyoung pockets his phone, stands up dramatically, and hovers over me. "Get dressed," he said. "We're going somewhere."
I blinked repeatedly at him, and some more. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me."
"What's wrong with my outfit right now?" I gestured to my oversized shirt and leggings.
He snorted comically. "Trust me, you're gonna need more than that."
Wooyoung saw the hesitation in my eyes. He hated committing as much as I hated trying new things. He extends his hand in front of me. 
"I've never led you astray, you know that," he whispered.
I nodded, taking his hand in mine. Even before he had asked, I was doomed anyway. How could I ever say no to him?
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Turns out he was right - I did need the extra layers.
It was, indeed, very cold right now. Wooyoung and I were currently in line, a line so long that it reached the outside of the establishment, and it was where we currently were.
"Woo, are you sure about this?" I asked through gritted teeth. "It's too windy, I think my fingers will fall off soon."
As if on cue, he pulls me closer to him. "It shouldn't take too long," he mumbled. "You okay?"
I nodded, humming a reply back at him. As long as I'm with you, everything will be alright...
"I must say," I began. "I didn't take you to be the museum type of guy."
Yes, we were currently in line to get inside this museum I have never ever seen before even though I've lived in this city my whole life. Wooyoung got both of us last minute tickets. The place was currently jam packed, the line was endless from behind us.
"I'm not," he shrugged. "I want to show you something."
My mind went into overdrive when Wooyoung quickly glanced at me before he looked back at the pamphlet he was holding. It was only a split second, but it was enough for me to infer the anticipation he had for this.
It was contagious and the dread I felt ebbed away.
"History and geology are both at the far right, art is by your left, cartography is unfortunately out of service indefinitely, and science is just straight ahead..."
The monotonous, robotic voice from the speaker all over when we got inside could have instructed better, but it was definitely better than getting lost. This place was massive.
"Let's go," Wooyoung enthusiastically grabbed my hand as we explored all the things we passed by.
"Oh Woo, look at that!" I giggled uncontrollably and hastily pointed out what I saw.
It was a life sized wood carving of a wisteria tree - the most beautiful thing I have ever seen as of late. Wooyoung squeezed my hand as we both approached it, reveling at the detail of whoever was its creator.
"Reminds you of something, doesn't it?" he smirked.
"How can I forget how we met?" I playfully rolled my eyes.
He laughed out loud, causing some people to look our way, but we couldn't care less. "As much as I want to stay, there's somewhere else we have to be," he winked.
He led me to the direction he, then, wanted to go. The way he pulled me with him made my heart swell. At the very moment, I blocked all the sounds, the chatter, from the background and I could only see him. 
Just when I felt like leading my heart somewhere else, he pulled it back towards him; a magnet I had no choice but to get attached to.
"W-Wooyoung?"
My eyes widened in disbelief when we stopped at something in particular. "I-Is this w-what I think it is?" I stuttered uncontrollably, gripping his hand tighter and tighter until he put his other hand on top of mine to stop me from shaking.
"Relax," he cooed. "And yes, it most certainly is."
Wooyoung had led me to the science section of the museum where there was a small room we could go inside - a planetarium. Today they just so happened to be exhibiting the planet Mars.
Wooyoung took me to Mars.
"Shall we go in?" Wooyoung gently guided me inside. My legs were weighted with lead, I couldn't do this on my own.
My breath came out in short intervals, my feelings overwhelming my sense of excitement muddled into a plate full of shock, confusion, and joy as I looked around the place with Wooyoung still holding my hand in his as if he knew I'd fall without him.
The whole room had a blue haze to it, the ceiling itself was a cool shade of midnight blue with little specks of white dots that were presumably the stars in the night sky. 
They covered the whole blue like snowflakes, and they would twinkle, or rather, blink at us, watching what we would do next.
I turned to look at Wooyoung, and my tears started to fall on their own. There was panic in his eyes, but he pulled me into a quick hug, and I hugged him back just as tight.
We didn't say a word, just basking in our body heat together with the stars as our witness.
He kissed my forehead tenderly before pointing out to a distance. "Look."
I gasped rather dramatically - it was Mars itself!
Or at least, a really big ball that was probably made out of styrofoam and dyed into the shade of rust red that mimicked the real deal.
"Before we go there, wipe your tears, jelly bean. I want you to be happy today..."
But he wiped my own tears for me anyway. Oh Wooyoung, I thought with dread. How do you expect me to not selfishly wish for you to stay instead of finding your own dreams?
Instead of a repeating robot telling everybody Mars' information, luckily it was an actual person making a presentation, like that of a tour guide but this one instead explained the planet with so much depth and detail.
Wooyoung makes an exaggerated "ah!" sound when the lecturer explains that the reason why Mars was red was because of the oxidation happening in regolith, the soil on the said planet, and thus making it appear red.
"Does anybody know how many moons the planet Mars has?" the lecturer had questioned with a pleasant smile.
"Two!" a teenager from the crowd had answered.
"Correct! Does anybody know what they're called?"
The crowd made confused noises and everyone seemed to be stumped for answers. I looked around and nobody seemed to know what they were, and even Wooyoung mutters something about not knowing that even moons had names. I sighed, mentally preparing myself so I don't get nervous.
"Phobos and Deimos," I had managed to answer without stuttering.
The lecturer looked surprised, but happy nonetheless that at least someone in the crowd knew. "That is correct!"
"Nerd," Wooyoung snickered. I elbowed him, too happy to let his jokes get to me.
When it got too crowded, we both decided to leave the museum as a whole. One thing we both had in common was that after a while, the air got stuffy when there was too much going on in one place.
The bus ride home was silent, but comfortable, and in reality, we were both too tired to talk anyway. With an adrenaline of short-lived bravery, I leaned my head against Wooyoung's shoulder. I sighed in relief when he didn't push me away.
"Did you have fun?" he asked with genuine curiosity when we both reached my front door.
"Did you?" I asked back with an equal amount of curiosity.
He nodded enthusiastically. "Of course I did, why wouldn't I?"
"You really didn't have to do this---"
He put his finger against my lip, effectively shutting me up and shutting my brain off as well. "Why can't you just enjoy the things I do for you?"
Because I am slowly getting more and more delusional with every single second I spend more with you and I keep imagining of what we would be like a few months from now- am I going to be alone again or will you remain in my life---
I shook my head to rid myself of the nastiest thoughts that keep coming through my psyche, but along with those was another burst of blood rushing to my brain that makes me do the unthinkable.
"Woah, woah," Wooyoung voice out, amused that I was initiating skin contact first. 
"Just shut up and let me hug you," I voiced out, but it came out muffled because my face was currently buried in his chest. "Thank you, Wooyoung, thank you very much, you have no idea what this means to me."
Wooyoung rocked me back and forth, healing my inner child. "I think I do," he whispered so softly I almost didn't hear him. "Just let it out..."
It was the first time he ever saw me cry willingly. The hands that patted my back provided me the solace I currently needed. They were gentle, soothing even. He had always been so patient with me, and those hands... 
Of all the things my hands have held, the best by far was his.
I felt selfish, so damn selfish, for feeling this way. But it's okay, none of it matters at this moment.
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Hey, ladybug. I don't think I'm able to make it in time today, or at all. Client is being finicky and all, I'm about to charge them extra for this. I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you soon, hmm?
                         - J. WY
I heaved a loud, disappointed sigh as I locked my phone before pocketing it. My frown deepens and my brows knit in today's unexpected turn of events.
"That Wooyoung?"
"Yeah, says he can't make it today. Something about a shitty client," I shrugged.
I had invited Wooyoung last week to my family's dinner reunion. My whole family had taken a liking to Wooyoung - who wouldn't? - and my brother had suggested I invite him. This year, we were at our Uncle Yeonjun's place.
"It's not the end of the world," my brother teased.
I snorted loudly. "That obvious, Yeo? You look more crestfallen than I do."
Yeosang laughs heartily, taking a sip at whatever concoction our mother made. "I mean, I've only known him longer than you," he joked. 
It turned out that Woyooung was part of my brother's friend group, talk about coincidence. "Besides, you gotta cheer up before anyone notices," he added.
"Why?"
"Because you look like a lovesick puppy that got abandoned by its owner," he clicked his tongue, shaking his head. "No offense to our cousins, but they can be do damn nosy, especially Soobin and Kai."
I knew that Yeosang was just trying to distract me from whatever I was feeling. As per his advice, I faked a smile just so nobody questions why I'm feeling so down.
Wooyoung was currently out of town and had been so busy with his job so we haven't really seen each other for a couple of days now, however we do call each other every night.
My train of thoughts were squashed when Yeosang elbows me gently. "Hey," he said with a soft smile. "You want to get us food so I take you home?"
If I were to write on a piece of paper of how much my older brother has done for me, the trees would cease to exist from all the paper and wood for all the pencils.
The night wasn't all that bad, Yeosang did everything in his power to distract me and even brought our cousins into it, not that they knew what was up. We took the party to the backyard, just singing, dancing, and fooling around like the young adults we were.
The little reunion was family, music, and food. It was simple, memorable, and destined to make me forget for a little.
The night had to end, and that meant I had to go home alone to my thoughts. My parents will stay overnight and Yeosang did not live with us anymore.
The jingle of the front door's keys only solidified the loneliness that awaited for me from behind it.
"Are you sure you don't want me to stay? I can just drive early in the morning," Yeosang suggested as we both walked in the house and closed the door behind him.
"Yeo, I'm not a child anymore," I chuckled. "I appreciate it, but you should go, you have work tomorrow, yes?"
"Well, yes, but---"
"Then get your ass out of here."
Yeosang rolled his eyes at my teasing tone, but ended up laughing anyway. He pulled me in for a quick hug and pecked cheek. "Call me if you need anything."
He was gone within a minute, and once again, I was left alone with my despair. And what better way to shower these thoughts out?
But that made it worse. The involuntary shower thoughts were poison to my already weak mind.
I've conquered the art of being alone, and now that I had Wooyoung with me, it never really made things easier. My endless days filled with cold fire were quickly replaced with warm companionship...
I felt like an empty box without him. It was ridiculous, really, I knew this was wrong; a mistake I knew I wasn't supposed to feel.
I missed him.
Ding, ding, ding
I had just finished dressing up when I heard the doorbell ring. Confused, I slowly treaded my way downstairs. My parents weren't supposed to be home and Yeosang would have called beforehand if he forgot something.
The doorbell rings again, more hurriedly the second time. Screw it, I thought apprehensively. Yeosang is in charge of my obituary if I unfortunately pass away tonight...
With a deep breath, I swung the door open, my eyes tightly shut. Yeah, I know, serial killers would love me.
Silence. I knew somebody was in front of me, but they weren't saying anything. My mind caught up with the stupidity of my actions and I froze. Is this how I die?
"A-Are you okay?"
That squeaky voice, that sounds so familiar. I wanted to smack my head, I missed him so much, I was hearing him.
"Nice tits, Y/N."
My eyes shot open so fast that the light came in a bit faster than I expected to and I became a little dizzy. My brain buffers while my thoughts try to catch up. After I realized what I just heard, I took a closer look in front of me.
I let out a little gasp. "W-Woo?" I whimpered pathetically.
There he was, standing at my doorway, 9 o'clock in the evening. My heart lurched at the sight of him - so ethereal.
There was nothing specific to him that made him so stunning to me, maybe it was his iconic red hair, or maybe the way he looked at me right now would be close. They were intense, yet gentle. Polite, but not noble. 
I blushed, wanting to cover up, but his eyes held me hostage. They trailed from my face, slowly down my neck, to my exposed cleavage, before bringing them back up again to look at me, the unmistakable hunger in those orbs very much present.
"Y/N," Wooyoung drawled out without breaking eye contact, sticking his tongue out to lick his bottom lip excruciatingly slow for my sanity. "Let me in."
A sudden wave of nausea hits me, rendering me weak in his mercy as I finally feel my brain melt in my head. What the hell.
His kissable lips pulled up slowly to a smirk, mischievous, and we were both released from that little cage of sin we almost trapped ourselves in. 
Woooyoung laughs out loud. "You should have seen your face," he wiped an imaginary tear from his eye.
My face reddens both in embarrassment and mild anger. Against my better judgment, I move to slam the door to his face. "You!" I hissed menacingly.
"Wait, wait!" he panicked, quickly stopping the door from completely closing by putting his boots in between. "I'm sorry! You just looked so far away, I couldn't help but tease you--"
"Not helping your case, Woo--"
"I traveled here in two hours from a place that would have taken three," he whined, grabbing my hand from the outside. "Please?"
I let out a very loud exaggerated sigh before I let go of the door. Besides, he might not look like it, but Wooyoung was built. He could have pushed the door forcefully if he really wanted to.
"Sorry," he giggled, hugging me from behind with his head resting on top of my head. "Turn around for me?"
I'm so ashamed of how weak I had become with him, but what can I say? 
I buried my head on his chest, inhaling the scent that I missed so much - warm and clean - and everything hit me all at once.
He really was here with me. I was so happy that I almost felt sick and anxious. It comes off as a raging storm in my heart that was almost painful. The unbelievable sorrow I've gone through the last few days melted away in Wooyoung's blissful embrace.
"Did you drink tonight? How'd you get home?" he inquired after we pulled away.
"I did, and Yeosang took me home."
"Oh? Is he here? I didn't see his car outside."
I explained that Yeosang had to go back to his apartment because he had to work in the morning. He nodded intently, humming to himself.
"I have a surprise for you," he smiled, lifting the duffel bag he had bought with him. "How about you nap a bit while I prepare this?"
The next thing I knew, Wooyoung was already building a makeshift bed out of the couches we had in the living room so I could lay on them real quick.
The light pitter-patter of raindrops hitting the windows were the ones that woke me up. They have been falling steadily without fail before I opened my eyes. 
I would have been content staying in the warmth of the blankets, to grab a mug of tea and feel the soothing coldness of the breeze hit my nose as I inhaled deeply.
But I had to find Wooyoung. It wouldn't be too difficult, I knew exactly where he was. He loved the rain, you see.
A tender smile creeped up on his face when he noticed me sitting beside him on one of the stools on our roofed backyard. "You're awake," was all he said.
"How long was I out?" I groggily asked, swallowing the aspirin tablets he handed out. "Thanks."
"Not too long," he handed me a tall glass of water. "Close to an hour and a half, maybe."
"You were working while I was napping?" I gestured to the setup he had in front of us. Various strips of undeveloped films were strewn all over along with a camera I did not recognize, and...a glass pyramid?
"Nice paperweight," I pointed at it, a little hurt that even though he came for me, his focus was still on his work.
Wooyoung chuckled lightly. "No work, not necessarily," he shook his head. "That's not a paperweight. Why don't you be a doll and pick it up for me?"
I could feel the tips of my ears warm up but I picked up the pyramid anyway. It was a lot lighter than I initially thought it would be.
I looked at Wooyoung in confusion when he suddenly pointed out to the moon. "See the small beam of light coming down?" 
I nodded. Indeed, the moon seemed brighter today. It looked more beautiful than the stars that surrounded it. "That," he gestured to the triangular glass I was holding. "That is a prism, and I want you to put it where the moonlight is."
I frowned. "What?"
"If you're worried about the rain, you don't have to put it directly under it, just a small light would do," he bargained, chuckling at my confused face.
I did what he said, apprehensively stretching my hand out to put the so-called prism under the moonlight. I smiled a bit, I will admit, the combination of the rain and light hitting its surface made it look extremely breathtaking.
I tilted it slightly to catch the different angles since I realized each angle made it glow in different shades of lights. One flick of my wrist shone a colourful beam of light that landed on the ground. 
"Wow," I breathed out. "That's beautiful, Wooyoung."
He smiled back. "Keep tilting."
Suddenly, an arc formed from the prism to the ground beneath me. I was in awe, this one had different colours to it. From red to yellow to purple, it shone clearly against the rain. I giggled, it reminded me of rainbows. If only it was daytime...
I gasped, dropping the prism on the ground with a loud clunk. My face was drained of blood as I turned sharply to Wooyoung with wide eyes. But he wasn't worried about my pale state. His smile shone brighter than any prism out there. At that moment, I wanted nothing more than to take a photo of his charming smile.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" he grinned, picking up the prism and tilting it himself against the rain and the light.
I've always wanted to see a rainbow at nighttime, and no, the Aurora Borealis doesn't count."
"Interesting," he whispered. "Keep going."
"You remembered, oh my God, you remembered..." I sniffled, burying my face in my hands.
"Why wouldn't I?" he smiled, pulling me in for a hug.
Wooyoung kissed my forehead delicately with great care and the look he gave me was something I will never forget.
We spent the next hour or so playing with different shapes of prisms that Wooyoung bought from where he went. The client he had earlier owned a glass manufacturing company and Wooyoung requested for these to be made as a form of payment.
This rainy day soaked all the memories we had made for both of us, providing us the soundtrack we deserved, and it was unlike any other. I laughed like I never laughed before at this crazy little daydream, wishing it would last forever.
And soon, I learned to love the rain like Wooyoung. There will never be a rainy day where I never not think of him ever again.
"You better make me look good or I won't give you pictures," he threatened playfully.
When the rain had stopped, we opted to take pictures as proof of this core memory. The unfamiliar camera I saw earlier turned out to be a self-developing one, the modern cameras that instantly printed out tiny polaroid pictures in less than fifteen seconds.
"You literally took the shittiest photos of me, you hypocrite," I rolled my eyes at him, trying my best to cover my eyes with the camera so he wouldn't see the tears that were threatening to fall from my eyes.
"They're mine to keep," Wooyoung stuck his tongue out at me. What a brat.
But he was my brat. The tears that were once the symbol of the everlasting happiness that Wooyoung had been willingly giving me, were now drowning me in the bottomless sorrow that embraced me in a sea of ice cold water.
I loved him.
If I ever cross my heart, if I ever lie or deny the heart that beated for him, then I'd hope to die.
I loved him when we both stared at that park's wisteria, I loved him when he laid in my arms until he fell asleep, I loved him when he told me he'd always be there for me, I loved him then, and I love him now.
"Do you want me to put the movie on?" I asked after we've both settled down, shivering a bit. I never realized how cold it was outside until both me and Wooyoung came back inside.
Wooyoung mumbled a soft hum of affirmation while he was busy in the kitchen reheating some food I had bought with Yeosang earlier. He wasn't even doing anything groundbreaking but he was still so devastatingly loveable in my eyes.
The movie was boring, or rather, my attention just wasn't geared towards it. All I could focus on was the intense, burning passion I had for my best friend. I shut my eyes closely, as if doing so will get rid of the plaguing thoughts.
I let out a small gasp when Wooyoung pulled me to him, his arms wrapped around my waist. "What's going on in that pretty little head?" he sluggishly asked, nudging his head in the crook of my neck.
I am about to explode. He has always been the cuddly kind, but now that I have finally admitted to myself how much I truly loved him, his touch burned me on the inside, electrifying every cell in my body in response to his tender touch. 
"Nothing," I shrugged nonchalantly.
He chuckled, gripping my jaw lightly and turning my head towards his. I stopped breathing when I realized that he was closer than I thought. If I lean even an centimeter more, our lips would touch.
Wooyoung searches my face intently. "Don't lie to me."
I stare at him in the eye, not really knowing what to say. His hand was still on my jaw, but that was the last of my worries right now. I really want to tell him, I want to shout how much I loved him; how much he made me feel like I was everything when in reality I was nothing.
My mouth opens to say something, but immediately closes. In a moment of realization, Wooyoung's eyes widened a bit before his hand dropped from my jaw. There was a storm brewing in those beautiful eyes, and at this moment, I knew I was about to lose him.
"W-Wooyoung," I blurted out, full on panicking at this point.
"Don't look at me like that," he whispered, his voice breaking in the middle.
"What do you mean?" I sniffled, wanting to reach out and touch him, but stopped myself.
"You know what I mean."
A bitter sensation rose like bile up my throat. My heart isn't just broken, it was now a shadow of what it once was that was slowly fading away little by little.
He knows. Him knowing me like the back of his hand was a curse to a blessing, and not that blessing was a curse. He knows that I am in love with him, the last thing I ever wanted him to know.
"Let's finish the movie," I giggled, though it probably sounded fake.
I frowned when Wooyoung shut the TV off as a whole. "Y/N," he sounded stern. I stayed silent, not even looking him in the eye. 
He sighed deeply. "I can give you anything, but not that," he stated, his arms still around my waist tightening a bit. "You're my best friend, I cannot lose you. Not like this."
My fear of loss was proof of my love for him. I loved him so much, I was willing to let him go.
I rolled my eyes playfully, forcing myself to look at him and grin widely, even though my tongue burned. "What are you saying? We'll be friends until the end of time," I laughed, lightheartedly elbowing him.
There was a passing look of hurt in his features, but it left as soon as it came. "Are you sure you're fine with this?" he squinted his eyes suspiciously at me.
"Of course," I snorted. "Maybe I'm just confused, but you know me Youngie, I'm tough."
He was still suspicious, but he laughed along with me anyway. "I know you are," he chortled, pinching my cheek really, really hard.
"Ow! You imp!" I grab his cheek to pinch it back just as hard, playing along with him.
We decided not to finish the movie and just rest for the night. As I lay back down on the makeshift bed Wooyoung made for me earlier, with him cuddling me from behind and pretty much spooning me, I let it all out.
Silent tears flowed down from my eyes and I had to put my knuckles in my mouth to prevent myself from making any sound. I can feel Woyooung's chest rising up and down against my back and that's how I knew he was sleeping, but I didn't want to risk waking him up.
My heart hurt so much, because I knew my love will never be reciprocated. Wooyoung loved his dreams too much to choose us, I knew that. I tried so damn hard to stop my growing feelings but to no avail. The voice that came out from me so naturally to tell him that I was fine, that what I felt for him was just a silly little crush, sounded so far away; it didn't even sound like me.
The attraction between us became an intangible broken thread and there was no way to reattach the fragments, though I know that I was the only one scattered and lost.
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I knew we weren't going to last forever, but I wasn't expecting the beginning of the end to happen so soon.
A knock from my left snaps me out of my thoughts. It was Mingi tapping on my desk, his brow raised.
"Sorry," I sheepishly mumbled, trying to focus on the task at hand. Hongjoong already left for New York so it was just me and Mingi in the shop.
I couldn't concentrate, I kept glancing at my phone hoping Wooyoung would reply to my messages. Something was wrong, and I was very close to having a mental breakdown.
Woo? Are you busy? Wanna hang out at the new place later after work?
I kept telling myself that it was fine, he's busy, he's been in-demand lately because he truly was a talented photographer with a particular set of skills that were a rarity in such a condensed industry, but I couldn't help but feel like he's been very distant lately.
Wooyoung has been avoiding me and I don't know what to do.
To keep my insecurities in check, I've been going in the deepest pits of my mind to tolerate my thoughts and letting these negative feelings pass - so I can react appropriately and not go crazy over the things I had no control over.
Wooyoung? Is everything okay? You aren't responding...
Truth be told, I felt pathetic. I got so attached to Wooyoung that I forgot how I was before I met him - alone. It wasn't his fault, he doesn't owe me anything, it was me who let my heart chase a person who never even wanted to be found in the first place.
Another knock made me jump from my thoughts.
"Y/N," Mingi sighed, taking his glasses off and setting them down on his own desk. "Can I talk to you really quick?"
I bit my lip, nodding. Mingi had always been the type of boss that drew a line with everyone, except Hongjoong. He was strict, very intimidating, but it suited him, so I'm a bit nervous that he was calling me out. 
"I'll be straight with you, yeah? Is it Wooyoung?" he asked out of genuine curiosity, his sharp eyes piercing through me.
I didn't respond, I couldn't, so I kept my head low. I heard Mingi sigh again. "Hey," he says softly. "This is off the record, okay? I won't tell Hongjoong, although I suspect he already knows anyway."
I looked up, frowning. "What do you mean?" 
Mingi crossed his arms, leaning back against his chair a bit more relaxed. "I can't speak for him, but for me personally? I know Wooyoung more than you think I do. You just haven't seen us together because I've been so busy lately."
He was right. Mingi continued. "Look, it's a shame to see you like this. We really like you, you're hardworking, critical, smart, and whatnot..."
"T-Thank you, Mr. Song," I blurted out.
"Just Mingi," he brushed off. "What I'm trying to say is, save yourself for a man that isn't him. He won't choose you."
I already knew that, but hearing it didn't make it hurt less. Tears started to pool in the corners of my eyes. Mingi curses under his breath.
"Go home," he gestured out the door. "Take the day off."
"B-But we still have work left," I stuttered.
He gives me a small smile. "I'll manage. Go before I change my mind."
I suppose I was thankful about being sent home, it did help my nerves a bit. I've gotten home, showered, ate dinner, and did the most mundane things I could ever do, but Wooyoung never replied.
I woke up the next day, clutching my phone, muttering a little prayer in my head as if I would miraculously see his name pop up in my notifications, telling me good morning like he used to every single day.
The tears I've been holding off since yesterday ran down like waterfalls from my eyes. I missed him so much, and I've got nobody to blame but myself. I wished I kept it in, how much I loved him I mean. Maybe we would have been hanging out by now, laughing obnoxiously at nothing in particular.
Before I could stop myself, I dialed Wooyoung's number. The beating of my heart pounded along with the ringing tone against my ear. I was about to hang up, when I heard the familiar click of answer.
Hello?
I covered my mouth with my hand to prevent me from choking up. Oh, how I missed this voice.
"H-Hey, Woo, how are you doing?" I apprehensively asked.
I can't really talk right now, little dove, what do you want?
I was confused, my frown getting deeper. There was tension on the line, a tension so brittle it could snap in a moment, and if it doesn't, I might. He sounds like his normal self, but he sounds so rigid, his voice clipped.
"Nothing, I-I just wanted to hear your voice," I was so anxious at this point, especially when Wooyoung didn't say anything back for a moment.
I can feel the fear spreading throughout my chest. I let out a slow, controlled breath and attempted to loosen my body.
What? You called me for that? I have my own things to do, Y/N, you can't just call me for something so stupid.
I felt my heart bleed, twisting, turning, and rendering my insides tight. I don't respond, wide eyed, my heart in my throat. I needed him to tell me everything was going to be alright, to soothe me but instead he continued.
I'll call you when I have time, okay?
"B-But you said I can call you whenever I needed you," I whispered in the smallest voice I could muster.
I know what I said.
The tone of his voice, so cold and so upset, brought shivers down my spine. "I'm sorry," I whimpered. "I'm so lonely, I miss you. C-Can you come for a bit? O-Or I'll come if you cannot..."
I'll see.
And then he hung up, not bothering to wait for my response. Hot tears, ones he will never witness, were falling even faster than before and soaking my pillows. I felt the wetness of my skin and each drop killed my soul little by little.
What is happening? That wasn't the man I know, that wasn't the Wooyoung I have come to love over the past year.
Sharp knives dig into my heart even deeper, bringing more pain, making me cry out in the most desperate of as it keeps slicing over and over again. I was so lost at the torment my mind was putting me through.
When I was at my lowest, when others took what I could not afford to give, Wooyoung saved my life. The voice that once kept me alive was now the one that was slowly sucking every little bit of hope in my soul.
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The first day was fine, I was able to rationalize with myself and not think of Wooyoung every second of the day.
The first week was a bit difficult, but I was still able to manage and get by day by day even though I can feel myself slowly slipping away.
The first month, I couldn't take it anymore. My parents noticed that I wasn't being myself lately, but they chose not to comment anything out of respect, but when I completely stopped eating and going out was when they began to worry significantly.
I understand that my best friend might never be able to give back all the love I have from him, but there is something much, much worse than hate or ignorance.
It was indifference. The night I had unintentionally confessed to him was the night everything between us started to blur.. He was cold, I wasn't expecting him to love me back, but abandoning me and acting like I don't exist or matter at all was turning all my loneliness into desperation.
Screw it. If he's not going to see me, then I'll go see him.
It wasn't too difficult to borrow the family car with the pretense of going out to enjoy myself. They didn't know Wooyoung was the source of my melancholy. I haven't had the heart to tell them because they really liked him.
"Woo?" I knocked on his apartment door, the door that used to excite me, now terrified me.
No response. I knew for a fact that he was inside and was ignoring the hell out of me because his lights were on - he always turned them off whenever he was going somewhere all the time. I was getting extremely annoyed at this point, and my anger had nowhere to dissipate.
"Jung Wooyoung, I know you're in there," I knocked frantically. "Open the freaking door."
When I still got no reply, I had no choice but to get the spare key he hid under his doormat. I could've done it earlier, I wasn't in the mood to be disrespected right now.
The moment I swung his door open, I saw him. He was just there, sitting on a chair with his arms crossed, staring me directly in the eye. I stood by his doorway, frozen, staring back at him. 
"Woo--"
"Close the damn door and sit down," he sighed exasperatedly. The cold indifference in his eyes was killing me.
The atmosphere was completely tense, I didn't even know where to start. I used to love being in his apartment, but now I was itching to get out.
Then I saw it - the same duffle bag he bought the glass prism to give me a lunar rainbow now filled with all of his clothes.
"What the hell is this?" I gritted, not being able to hold back the anger I was feeling at the moment.
"What does it look like?" he glared, his jaw taut and clenched tight.
"Is this why you weren't talking to me?" I asked, my voice full of hurt. "How can you do this, Wooyoung? How could you do this to us?"
He scoffed. "There is no us, my princess," he mocked. It stung, I didn't know this Wooyoung, or was this his true nature all along?
"Then why am I still your princess, then?"
There was a second where his eyes morphed back into the man I loved, but before it even lasted, it went to this hostile stranger than got off on the hurt he was giving me. He avoided eye contact, opting to look down and stare at the floor tiles. 
"Say something," I begged.
"I heard you," he snapped, as if I meant absolutely nothing to him. 
Clearly, he wasn't expecting me to even confront him at all, and intended to push me far, far away as long as he possibly could.
That refusal to smile, to show me any warmth was his way of being antagonistic towards me.
His eyes stopped at mine, and the moment it laid on me, I knew that there was nothing left for me to salvage. This is really the end.
Tears flowed nonstop from my eyes and before I knew it, I was in front of him, aggressively hitting his chest using my fist with all my might, hoping he could feel all the pain he gave me.
"Stop it, Y/N," he hissed, trying to avoid my hits. But I didn't. All the anger and sadness were so intertwined that I didn't know which one prevailed.
"I said stop it!", he shouted. He grabbed my wrists painfully and held them against his chest. "You better stop, or so God help me, I will make you stop, and trust me, you do not want that."
Something akin to fear crept into my chest. I have never, ever heard him raise his voice before.
"Had I known that you were going to be the bane of my existence, I would have ignored you at the park back then!" I screeched at him, trying very hard to get my hands back by thrashing around.
"Had I known you were going to be like this, I wouldn't have taken a photo of you!" Wooyoung's grip got so tight that I literally felt no blood circulating towards my hand.
"You good for nothing ass, you're hurting me! Let me go!" I growled, but it came out as a whine.
"Not until you calm down!"
We went back and forth like that, arguing like little children. The fight between us was a destruction in the making, tearing us instead of bounding us together.
I swallowed the anger that threatened to spill out of me, and it grew in my chest as the person I loved did absolutely nothing to wipe the tears from my eyes. At least he was a bit surprised when I screamed a scream from deep within, and it terrified the both of us because it didn't even sound like me.
"How am I supposed to look at anyone else?" I cried, my head leaning on his chest out of exhaustion. "I don't want anyone else anymore because I will be afraid to trust."
"I'm sorry," was all he said. He didn't even want to wrap his arms around me and just let me hang in there.
"No, you're not," I cried even harder. 
"Y/N, please, you're making this difficult for me," his voice breaks in the middle. I feel the intensity in his voice, a massive amount of emotion behind every word he spoke.
"And how do you think I feel, Wooyoung?"
"I understand, but--"
"This is how you are, full of excuses, full of shit!"
"Let me talk--"
"Why are you leaving me? Why are you--"
"Because I love you!"
I must've looked so shocked, so devastated, and so scared that Wooyoung, himself, started breaking down. We held each other as if it was our last, and at that moment, it was just the two of us against everything in this world.
Wooyoung held my face with his shaking hands, tears flowing down from his own eyes as he leaned his forehead against mine. That somehow made me cry harder. "I love you so much, goddamn it," he choked.
"But you're not going to stay," I whimpered against his criminal hold. 
Though he felt so warm right now, I knew it wasn't going to last. I could get lost in his eyes right now because they felt like home as we both cried in each other's arms. After all the countless nights I wished he felt the same, this felt foreign. 
He was an oasis in a barren desert and the best thing I could do was stare.
"You appearing in my life was never planned," he whispered. "I never expected to fall as deeply as I did with you, Y/N."
"If you feel the same, then why can't you stay with me?" I asked pitifully.
"I can't, baby, this wasn't supposed to happen," he took a deep breath. "I can't love you."
"You can't, or you won't?"
He didn't respond. That got him. I sighed.
"Woo, look at me?" I tilted his chin up very gently until he did. "Don't do this to us," I pleaded. "You're looking at me with clouded eyes right now, you know I see through your lies..."
Wooyoung doesn't reply, choosing to walk away from me to pace across the room in a fret. I watched him collect his mind apprehensively.
"If I can't have me, then no one can," he finally said.
I stared at him as my heart started slowly breaking once again. This incomprehensible pain was consuming me bit by bit, my heart was bleeding.
"I would regret it for the rest of my life if I don't chase the longest dream I've ever had," his eyes were laced in pain. "The photography world is waiting for me..."
"Is this why you didn't want anything or anyone tying you down to this place, Woo? You didn't want to commit because you might never want to leave?"
That was it. The way he looked at me told me everything I needed to know. I had lost him before I even had him, and I can only weep and let myself come to terms with the one that got away. So I cried, I cried as Wooyoung held me in his arms, rocking me back and forth like he used to when we spent time together.
"Hush now," he started crying with me. "I hate that it seems you were never enough." He hugged me tighter. "Because you are, you were more than enough."
"But I'm the one that should mean something! So help me understand," I sobbed harder in his arms, afraid to let him go because he might disappear if I do.
He wipes my tears away with his thumbs. "If one day we see each other again," he croaked. "However long that will take, we will try again for each other, okay?"
I shook my head like a crazed maniac, muttering no, no, no repeatedly. "Wooyoung," I wailed, holding onto his arms tightly. "P-Please don't leave me..."
I begged him over and over again like my life depended on it, and to be fair, I felt like I was going to die if he left me entirely. At this point I didn't care if I was going to be his second choice as long as he stayed.
"Y/N, please don't make this harder than it is," Wooyoung denied. "Go home, please I'm begging you. You're going to make me do something we'll both regret, please."
He was about to leave, but I held him back from behind, holding onto him as tight as I possibly could. "Stop it," he pleaded, trying to pry my arms off of him, but I held tighter, wailing harder.
"P-Please, please don't go," I bawled. "I'll do anything, I'll--"
"Stop it!"
His booming voice made me gasp, or maybe that was the sudden hold he had on my shoulders. The way his eyes darkened wasn't something I missed as his nails dug into my shoulders.
"Do not say that," he hissed, his dark eyes boring into me. "We are both in my room, alone. You know what that means, right?"
"So take me, Wooyoung."
Something changed in the air, and between the two of us right at this moment. Wooyoung's eyes widened a bit, his hold on my shoulders tightening , before he grimaced. "You don't know what you're saying," he laughed dryly.
I knew it was wrong, but right now I wanted nothing but to feel all of him. I will throw all the dignity I have right now, I don't care. The moment I begged him to stay, I'd lost it all, anyway.
"The notion of sin has never sat too well with me," Wooyoung gulped, his voice thick with lust.
"And leaving me does?" I blurted, my own eyes hazy with want.
Wooyoung shook his head fervently and sweat was beginning to form at his hairline. "Y/N, I am only a man, please don't make me do it..."
He buried his head in the crook of my neck, his breathing was so laboured and every time he took a breath, I felt everything on my skin. I mewled when I felt him pause, then lick the most sensitive part of my neck.
"Fuck, you smell and taste so good," Wooyoung growled.
Everything happened so fast. In a split second, his touch electrified every nerve in my body, the intoxication was instantaneous. He hurriedly grabbed my face and immediately put his lips on mine, like I was his air and he needed me to live.
His arms wrap around my back, and in one motion, our bodies collide. His hand was pulling and tugging my hair, muttering how soft they were in between kisses. I kiss him back with equal fervent, quickly opening my mouth so his tongue can explore. Our bodies fit together like we were made to do this.
He pulls away and we lock eyes for a moment, just enough to see that we were far too gone to stop, before we were back at it again, this time on his bed. The kiss we shared was of raw intensity, the groans he made behind his throat made every hair on my body stand up in attention.
"Baby," he groaned, his voice muffled because he was back to attacking my neck. 
"Hmm?" was I could reply with, especially with how rough he was kneading my breasts from under my shirt. 
"You held your breath for a minute straight while my tongue was in your throat."
I blushed deep. We were almost about to have sex and he still remembered that? I never thought his mouth would be this dirty.
We caressed each other's skin through the night, not getting enough of each other as we became one. His touches were exhilarating, whenever he laid his fingers on my skin tingles. Both of us move in sync, not taking our eyes off of each other.
There were no thoughts, and no focus - only lust and desire.
My back arches in anticipation from his light hands as he watches my reaction, feeling how my hands shook, watching my body tremble every time he used his fingers.
Whatever Wooyoung was doing, there was no stopping. Just his scent from above me was enough to incapacitate me. Every thrust he did was enough for me to fall deeper, and deeper for him and he never stopped until we were warm and snuggled after we were finished.
But nothing lasts forever - even guilty pleasures. 
"Wooyoung?" I asked nobody in particular the moment I woke up, my voice sore from all the screaming the night prior.
I sat up, covering my body with the blanket that smelled so much like him, looking around to see if he was somewhere since he wasn't lying down beside me on his own bed, but no. 
I didn't think much of it, maybe he just went to the bathroom to freshen up, but deep down my heart, I knew he had left.
There was something on the spot where Wooyoung was supposed to be - a piece of paper. I hesitantly picked up, realized it was a letter addressed to me, and opened its contents. Little dots of wetness dropped down the paper from every tear as I read on.
'To the one I'm letting go,
I'm sorry, Y/N. I am so, so sorry for everything I will put you through starting now. By the time you're reading this, I would have been long gone.
You will always be the most important person of my life, whether you believe it or not. You have absolutely no idea how wonderful and colourful you have made my life into for the past year and I always smile knowing that you'd be there to share my achievements with.
I knew I would develop feelings for you the moment I saw you in that park. God, you looked so beautiful. The fates were funny like that, because I wasn't even supposed to be at the park that day. My usual spot was unavailable that day.
Please be happy, do not forget your meals, study well so you can go into that college you've always wanted to, don't eat too many sweets because they make you hyper, be mindful of nuts in every food since you are allergic to them since I can't be there to check them for you anymore.
The gift of friendship as great as yours is something I will forever cherish in my heart, Y/N. Our little moments where we laughed and cried together still makes me happy to this day. You may have come into my life unexpectedly for what felt like a minute, but the mark you left will last us forever.
You're going to have to move on for me, and I will do the same, even if it hurts both of us, okay? I have to leave, it's either you or my dreams, and I know you have dreams of your own. This love will always hold us back.
However, if I see you again one day, I cannot guarantee that I will hold back because I am going to take you whether you like it or not and make you mine.
But for now? I cannot hate you, but I cannot love you either.
Yours, J. WY'
I hyperventilated, my hands shaking violently as I held the letter that might as well have been my death certificate.
I knew one way or another, this was going to happen and I was prepared for it so I wouldn't get hurt in the near future, but it hasn't fully hit me until now. 
Long ago, I had forgotten how to scream because they were either ignored or criticized with cruelty, but the way I screamed my soul out broke my own heart. My grief came in waves, ebbing gradually at the ocean that needed to bleed from my eyes.
"Oh, Wooyoung," I cried his name out pitifully, holding the letter close to my heart. I knew I loved him, but the loss of him really solidified how strong it was. How was I supposed to survive the feeling of something so dear that got forcefully ripped away from me?
I must've wallowed in my despair and self-pity a little too much, that I forgot that there were clutters and footsteps outside of the room. They were the reason I woke up. Could it be..?
I half heartedly rubbed my tear-stained face with my hands to make the swelling go away before I dressed up decent enough to step out.
The footsteps stopped when I apprehensively opened the door, the creak of it echoing across the otherwise barren room. 
My eyes widened and landed on two men who were both staring at me also wide-eyed the moment I opened my door, as if they were listening in on me suffering.
"Who the hell are you?!" I had meant for that to be threatening, but it came out as a pathetic squeak.
They both stepped back, surprised at the spunk I had even though it was clearly very early in the morning.
"We mean no harm, we promise," one of them said calmly. He reminded me of a bear, and the relaxed fit of his jeans that tucked his black tee made his form even bigger. "I'm Jongho, your brother and the two workaholics sent me..."
I raised my brow, he must be Hongjoong's assistant, the other workaholic was Mingi. Yeosang did also mention a best friend in passing. I raised a brow on the other one expecting him to talk.
He was tall, definitely taller than Mingi, and they kind of looked like each other, though this one reminded me of an overgrown puppy. He was very good-looking as well. He was lean, though there's definitely some bulk on him too.
He waves a set of keys in front of him. "I'm Yunho, San gave me the keys," he worriedly explained. "I was hoping you could explain. I made breakfast..."
The food was very good, but I didn't have the heart to tell Yunho that Wooyoung's cooking was the one I craved for. I gave them the letter Wooyoung had written for me as I filled them in on some details about what happened. They were Wooyoung's really close friends, so I didn't have to fill in too much details since they pretty much knew the majority of it.
"He never told you it was love at first sight," Yunho shook his head as he passed the letter for Jongho to read. "That bastard, I told him to stay away from you if he was just going to leave."
"We tried very hard to change his mind, believe me," Jongho sighed, taking a sip of the coffee I made him earlier. Both of his eyes shot up as he stared at me. "Though I suppose this is one of the reasons why he couldn't stay away."
That one struck a nerve. Wooyoung was the one who taught me how to make good coffee. 
Yunho cleared his throat. "San doesn't know Wooyoung has left yet. If he found out, he would beat the shit out of him. San liked you a lot, he convinced Wooyoung the most to stay."
"And Hongjoong?"
"Hongjoong is, well, he is who he is. He just knows everything. He probably told Yeosang because he didn't have the heart to tell you." 
Yunho's phone started ringing, it gave me a slight migraine because that thing was loud as hell. Yunho mutters a sheepish apology. "Hello?"
"Alright, which one of you soul-sucking bastards stole my keys?! What the hell is even happening?!"
That actually made me giggle. Now I know why these two were sent to check up on me - Yunho was very easy to get along with and Jongho was the rational one to balance things.
"Who is that?"
Yunho and Jongho took turns to fill San in on everything that went down, and I felt bad for him because that also meant that San lost a friend. His heartbroken questions were making tears in my eyes.
"Sannie," Jongho sighed. "This is why we took the keys, we didn't want you to find out this way."
"Where is he, then?" San's voice was tight.
"You don't know either?" Yunho asked in surprise.
"N-No, Y/N? Is she okay?"
That completely broke me. It was ironic that Wooyoung's friends, people I wasn't even that familiar with in the first place, were the ones more concerned about me. I bitterly let my tears out, with Jongho patting my back to comfort me.
I cried, and cried, and cried, and cried until I felt my voice grow weary with excessive use, not caring that these two strangers and a man on the phone heard me break down pitifully.
Forget about me, Wooyoung had also left the people who loved him as well - his friends. In that regard, he was extremely selfish because he knew that hurt he would give to everyone, but he chose to do what he did anyway.
And just like that, he was gone.
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I lost track of time, I don't even remember the last time I actually cared to check.
Depression is a silly thing, something that I used to think never ended, but it does actually; you're going to feel it when you hit rock bottom.
"Have a good day everyone," I waved from the doorway of Mingi's office.
The whole gang was here, except for my brother because he lived far away. Still, Yeosang has made it his life's mission to be there for me whenever I gave him a hint that I needed him the most. I felt bad, but I had nobody to turn to.
"Y/N, wait."
I was about to leave, to ignore that call, but I couldn't. Yes?"
Hongjoong stared at me for a full minute without saying anything, before sighing. "Take care of yourself."
I forced a smile on my face. I was happy that everyone was looking out for me even though I just can't outwardly express it. I actually appreciate that none of them were treating me like a wounded puppy.
Hongjoong might not look like he cared too much, but I notice his sharp eyes watching me when he thinks I wasn't looking. Wooyoung was the opposite.
Yunho was very sweet, he would often bake me pastries since I mentioned in passing that I loved them and they brought me joy. Wooyoung used to do that a lot.
Mingi was another nonchalant one. He would often offer me a vacation alone somewhere with all expenses paid. I denied. Being alone will make me think of Wooyoung more.
San was the one that accompanied me the most when I didn't want to move at all. He would bring me food at least four times a week to make sure I was eating. Wooyoung used to feed me, himself, if I wasn't in the mood.
Jongho, being the mature one, made me realize that there were more reasons to live this life. Perhaps it was my parents, maybe my pet dog, or maybe just to find out what happens tomorrow. Wooyoung had a very similar outlook in life. 
I was aimlessly walking around and I didn't even notice that I ended up on the bench I sat on, the same bench that had that beautiful wisteria tree. Only this time, there was no Wooyoung to take a candid photo of me.
"I guess I'm not the only one falling apart," I sighed, lightly touching the wilting petals of the once purple tree, now it was just a faded whitish lilac colour.
It was difficult to find happiness in the things that I used to like. I missed the way he hugged me, the sound of his voice, the tenderness in his actions. I missed the way he would whisper the corniest jokes against my ear and make me laugh, but most of all, I missed the way we used to be.
He was my first thought of the day, the light at the end of my tunnel. How must I separate these fantasies from reality? Would things be different if I didn't confess? Would he still be here?
The reality was that he has not had these fantasies, we did not build our dream together, so I have to let it go.
Even though he had left after the momentarily love we shared for one night, I can tell myself that at least I knew that he genuinely loved me at one point. My mind will be at peace because I wouldn't have to go manic wondering for the rest of my life if it was only me - I know now that we did truly mean something to each other. 
We're so distracted by how things end, we usually forget how beautiful the beginning was. 
It was a quote I heard somewhere. My love was a myth, but Wooyoung never believed in myths, and so that was both the start and end of our story. Some things are only real if you believe that they are. 
A lone tear slipped away as I remembered how beautiful the wisteria was when we had first met. His absence will be the best part of me, I decided, so hopefully for the last time after a while, I weep again. 
I will wait for him, no matter how long it took.
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3.5 YEARS LATER
I sat in front of the vanity table in my hotel room, staring at myself from the big mirror wearing my white satin robe, it made my complexion pop into a champagne rose hue. 
I made eye contact with the person looming behind me through the mirror. "Would you like me to tell them to adjust the makeup and your hair?" he asked me tenderly, putting a hand on my shoulder. "I figured you'd love a natural look so I made it happen."
"No, it's perfect, you always know what's best for me," I smiled widely, putting my hand on top of his gently. It was the truth, it managed to bring out me feminine side, and therefore, my self-confidence as well.
I was the happiest I've ever been today, especially because I was finally with the love of my life. He frowned a bit when I pulled him a bit closer to fix his slightly rumpled collar and hair.
"I like the blonde, my love," I ran my hand on it in a trickling motion so I wouldn't mess it up.
He smirks, grabbing my hand to kiss it. "Yeah? That's good, I was feeling tired of the red, plus I don't think it would be appropriate for today."
I chuckled a bit. I have always loved his style, it was so masculine but also so chic and sophisticated at the same time. He was already wearing the suit and tie I had chosen for him today.
I will miss the red hair though, I still remember feeling uneasy when I saw his red hair for the first time, but I have come to love it over time. This blonde was making me feel some type of way.
I took a glance at my wedding dress that was placed at the far corner of the room. The lace upon lace design was very cozy and snug against my curves and it made me feel like the most beautiful bride in the entire world.
"So what's the schedule, darling? Your photography session here alone or with your bridesmaids for now?" he glanced at his wristwatch.
"Alone for now," I hummed. "I want Joongie, Sannie, and Yeo in here right now. You should go check with Yuyu and Mangi if you need alterations, and oh, check with Jongbear if he's all set with the wedding songs later?"
Over the years, I have gotten so close with the gang and they've all become my bestest of friends. The journey wasn't easy, but at least I've gained seven other lifetime friends.
He chuckled, clicking his tongue in amusement. "Alright, but calm down," he plants a quick kiss on my lips. "As much as I love when you're in your thinking mode, I want you to relax for today."
"I can't help it, Seonghwa, I've never done this before," I pouted.
Seonghwa squeezed my hand lovingly. "I know, me neither, but I'll be with you through everything, okay? And don't worry about those three knuckleheads, they're on their way."
"I love you, Hwa."
"I love you more, darling."
As if on cue, there was a knock on the door and indeed, the three people I was expecting made their merry way towards me and Seonghwa. 
"Well, well, well," Yeosang strutted towards me. "If it isn't my favourite sister."
"I'm your only sister," I rolled my eyes, making everybody laugh. 
"Oh, Y/N, oh my goodness," Yeosang hugged me tightly. "Goddamn it, I shouldn't have gone here, you're going to make me cry."
"Shut up, Yeo, you're going to make me cry too," I choked, holding my tears back so I don't ruin my makeup. "I could barely hold myself when I saw Mom and Dad bawl their eyes out earlier."
It was like we were back in our childhood again where we supported each other whenever we got an achievement. We don't see each other much but our closeness never got less.
"I'm proud of you, you deserve this happiness," Yeosang smiled. "I'll see you out there, my back is hurting from Seonghwa glaring at my back for taking your time."
"I was not!"
"Some brother-in-law you are, Park Seonghwa!" Yeosang retorted.
We all laughed again, there's nothing better than having friends to celebrate your day with you. Yeosang left shortly and now I was with San and Hongjoong to check up on some things.
"The guests are coming in gradually," San lowered his glasses while he tapped away on his tablet. San was the one who arranged the beautiful venue of the outdoor garden where me and Seonghwa will marry as well as the food and invitations. 
San moved away from photography a couple of years ago and started a business on coordinating events. "I reckon they'll all be here within two hours," he continued, but paused hesitantly. "There might be one seat vacant, I'm not sure he'll come..."
The air was a bit tense. I knew who he was talking about. "It's okay, Sannie, we have back up photographers in case he doesn't want to do it..."
Hongjoong cleared his throat loudly. "Congratulations," he grinned from the other side of the room.
"Thanks, Joongie, you're the best," I grinned back, thanking him for more than what I was referring to.
Hongjoong was the one who designed my wedding dress from scratch, and Mingi designed Seonghwa's. It was their first wedding haute couture and definitely not their last.
"Any adjustments you want me to make? I would ask you to try it on, but that's bad luck. " he joked. I shook my head no. "Alright. But I'm sure you'll look good. We're very happy for you, Y/N, we really are."
It felt great to hear it in general, especially on my wedding day, but it meant a lot coming from Hongjoong. All of them were brothers to me, but he was the eldest one.
"Seonghwa, if you think of hurting her," San cracked his knuckles. "You know what will happen."
"Yeah, yeah, sure San, you're scared shitless of killing bugs, let alone beat me up," Seonghwa rolled his eyes, making us all laugh our heads off because it was so true.
Mingi, Yunho, and Jongho also popped in after a while to say their congratulations. Yunho was in charge of hosting the reception, which came naturally for him since he has such an engaging personality.
"I'm so nervous, what if I stutter?" Yunho groaned. "Though I'm sure Jongho here is more nervous."
"A little," Jongho admitted. We were all surprised, he usually does very well on literally everything.
"Jjong, you're literally the best singer I've ever heard," I cheered him on.
"It's not that, this is different. This is your wedding we're talking about."
"That's true and all," Mingi chided in. "But I'm pretty sure Seonghwa is the most nervous out of everybody. Y/N, you gotta tell his ass to calm down, I couldn't even properly adjust his suit, for God's sake!"
We all turned our heads when the sound of another knock resounded through the room. We all looked at each other in confusion, Yeosang was the only one not in here and he would never knock before entering.
Yunho took the initiative to open the door, although apprehensively. He opened the door in an angle where we couldn't see who was outside, but he did, and when he did, he gasped loudly.
"What the fuck!" he shut the door loudly and leaned against it, pale white.
The room was silent, Yunho wasn't the type to curse in general. We all looked at him with very wide eyes and he stared back with his mouth agape.
"Yun, what the hell was that?" Mingi broke the silence, as calm as the ocean.
"I-I, uhm, I-I don't th-think," he stuttered.
"Oh, what the hell," Jongho rolled his eyes, walking towards Yunho and pushing him out rather roughly so he could open the door himself.
Jongho muttered a curse under his breath, before closing the door a bit gently this time, but he also had the same shocked expression on his face. This time I was freaking out, wedding jitters and all.
"Yah!" someone on the other side shouted, banging on the door.
"Open the damn door!" Seonghwa seethed, but quickly muttered a 'sorry' when I glared at him.
Both Yunho and Jongho opened the double doors at the same time, and the person entered. My mind had a small explosion, my heart beating twice the speed it should have, and the hairs all over my body stood up in the collective gasps we all had when we saw him.
He was someone I never thought I'd ever see again, someone I dearly missed even though we ended on a sour note, someone I couldn't wait for anymore even though I told myself I would.
"Wooyoung," I whispered, a bit teary eyed.
"Wooyoung," Seonghwa confirmed, but I could see how nervous he became.
"Wooyoung?" Mingi asked in surprise.
"Wooyoung!" Hongjoong laughed in disbelief. "Wooyoung," San growled, gritting his teeth.
"Oh hello there, Wooyoung," Yeosang suddenly entered the room. I can tell he was upset, especially because he patted Wooyoung's back in a "friendly" manner.
"Wait, wait, wait!" Wooyoung screamed his signature loud screech, but it was too late.
His squawks get louder as everyone, except me and Seonghwa, swarmed him aggressively, like a mob that threatened to end his existence. There were laughter mixed with complaints but overall, everybody seemed happy.
"You crazy son of a bitch, you have us worried, you never even called or texted!"
"Wow, you're uglier than before---ow!"
"Don't ever think of leaving again!"
"Come here, you monkey!"
I felt Seonghwa tense from behind me. I patted his arm, causing him to look at me. I frowned a bit, his eyes held anxiety and inferiority. I understood, the man I used to love was here.
"Alright, alright! Get off me, you airheaded buffoons!" Wooyoung shouted, trying to push everyone off, but ended up laughing hysterically with Mingi and Jongho.
Hongjoong only shook his head and rolled his eyes but I can tell he was happy. San grabbed his collar harshly and for a moment, we thought he was angry, but he ended up pulling Wooyoung into a bone crushing hug and Yunho had to pull him away to give him a hug of his own.
Yunho had always carried the burden of guilt for the past year, he kept saying that he could have stopped Wooyoung back then. Yeosang ruffled Wooyoung's hair roughly, something he did when he's overwhelmed on how to express his feelings.
"Have you guys seen, uhm--oh," Wooyoung began, but faltered when his eyes met mine., his smile dropping in slow motion. He didn't know I'd be here.
The air became tense all of a sudden. A sudden heartache filled my mind with dread, flashbacks of what happened years ago reminding me of the bond we made only for it to break. But even though it hurt, I was genuinely happy he was here, so I put a smile on my face.
He was shocked, his eyes going back to the same twinkle he had back then, but it quickly disappeared when Seonghwa cleared his throat, then I saw it disappear permanently.
"We, uh, we should leave you guys to talk," Seonghwa murmured.
"A-Are you sure, Hwa?" I hesitated, holding onto his arm to stop him from moving. 
I wasn't the only one surprised when Seonghwa nodded lightheartedly. "Mhhm," he hummed. "Plus," he glanced at Wooyoung. "This is a long overdue conversation."
With that, everyone left the room, but not before Seonghwa shook Wooyoung's hand. My heart was filled with pride. "Nice to see you again, old friend," Seonghwa patted Wooyoung's shoulder gently. This is why I loved him, he trusted me wholeheartedly.
Seonghwa knew everything, from how Wooyoung met me, to how grateful I was for everything he's done for me, all the way to him leaving me. Seonghwa and Wooyoung and pretty much everyone used to be good friends but he had to move away when they were younger because of his parents' work. He cried for me, he cried for everything I've been through, and cried for how far I've become.
Wooyoung stood awkwardly from where he was after Seonghwa had left, and I didn't even know what to do either. I wasn't even sure if he was the same person he was before he left, three years was a long time. We were strangers to each other at this point because I definitely have changed.
"S-Sit, Wooyoung, please," I blurted, not looking him in the eye as I pointed at the sofa across from where I was.
I stared at him as he awkwardly did as he was told. The years have been bittersweet to him - he had become unbelievably handsome, but his eyes had lost that youth and spark to it. 
He had more muscle to him, and his face had matured into this angular and chiseled appearance - his brows were more prominent, his cheekbones higher, and his jaws stronger. His hair was longer too, instead of the bright red I knew him for, he had this black and blonde layered on top of each other like an Oreo cookie.
"How are you doing, Y/N?" he softly asked. Even his voice got deeper, more booming, but it was still as calming as I remembered it to be.
"I'm good, I feel really happy," I genuinely replied. "I'm glad you're able to come despite your schedule."
"Of course," he sighed. "I'm surprised you still invited me."
"Why wouldn't I?" I whispered, all the hurt threatening to spill out from me. "B-But how have you been? Did you get what you wanted?"
I knew the answer to that question. Of course he did, Wooyoung was now a well-known photographer who was in-demand all over South Korea. He was basically a celebrity, but I still wanted to hear it come from his mouth.
Wooyoung smiled tightly. "Yes and no," he said cryptically.
"W-Why?"
Wooyoung stared at me for a minute, his eyes not giving away what he was feeling. My heart almost burst out of my ribcage. He tried so hard, but he was fiddling with his pants, a sign he was nervous.
We might be two different people now, but I still knew him like the back of my hand. 
"So," he cleared his throat, finally looking away. "Seonghwa, huh?"
I hummed, letting him get away with the fact that he was changing the topic. "Yeah, we just clicked," I smiled shyly. "A couple of months after you left, Joong introduced us together..."
He nodded, choosing not to reply. It got awkward again after that, the silence filling the room in an uncomfortable manner. He was only a couple of feet away from me, but he felt like miles back. My heart cracked a little, maybe this wasn't such a good idea.
"I-I'm happy for you, Y/N, I really am," his voice cracked towards the end. "Congratulations on y-your...wedding."
I swallowed a huge lump on my throat when I saw Wooyoung look down, his hands on either side of his head, cradling it as I heard him sniffle. It felt like thunder to my ears, but I chose not to comment on it so as to not embarrass him.
"It was nice the first year, I felt like I was on top of the world with nothing tying or holding me back," he laughed bitterly. "But afterwards, I felt like shit. I had no family, no friends, no you. Letting you go was the biggest mistake of my life."
I stayed silent, afraid that if I opened my mouth, I would cry too. "I'm afraid now, little dove, I'm so afraid of doing things now because that one, single mistake cost me my whole life..."
I bit my lip hard, my heart breaking a little bit more for him. Oh, how the tables have turned, I used to be the one that always got scared of trying something, and it took me a while to fully commit to Seonghwa.
"I am so, so sorry, Y/N..."
I let Wooyoung pour his heart out, letting him sob silently on the sofa. I gripped my robe tightly, wanting to go to him like the old times, but I couldn't, not because I didn't want to, but because Wooyoung needed his moment. He wasn't only crying for the both of us, but for the suffering, the loneliness of being alone, and everything he went through to get the success he longed to have.
"I'm proud of you, Wooyoung, you did well. You did what you had to do back then, I can't fault you for that," I told him. "Yes, I was mad at you, I'm not going to deny that, but I forgave you a long time ago."
I finally let out all the things I've always wanted to tell him. "One day you were just gone, you couldn't even explain why. We were best friends, soulmates, or so I thought."
"What killed me the most was I felt like our journey together had just begun, and you had left too soon," my breath hitched. "You came, then you left, and you took parts of me I didn't know existed, as well as yours because I never had the chance to explore you."
He stayed silent, listening to me like he once did years ago. "To this day I still ask myself what happened, Wooyoung, what would life have been if you had stayed? What would it be like if we did things differently? For the longest time, I blamed you for leaving, and then myself for letting you go so willingly."
Wooyoung shook his head. "It's not your fault," he gulped. "I blamed myself for your cries that I pretended not to hear, for the anger that consumed me, I blame myself for not holding your hand tighter, for the tears I did not wipe away, and I blame myself for the loss of you."
He stares at me with his tear-stained eyes, not bothering to cover all the emotions he tried to hide earlier. He grinned bitterly at me, I knew how much it meant for anyone to tell him how proud they were of him.
He puts his palm over his chest, eyes closed. "If only you can feel how hard this heart beats for you," he whispered. "It's all for you, but would you be mad if I told you it's not as strong as it once was?"
I wanted to hold his hand once more like we used to do when we were still together, not as lovers, but as good friends, but I was frozen on my chair.
"Why would I be?" I tilted my head curiously, tutting at him lightheartedly to lift the mood in the room. "You underestimate me."
Finally, he smiled genuinely. "I can't help it," he chuckled. "The intensity is less, I can't repair all the hurt I gave you."
He paused, hesitating if he should say what he wanted to say, but he opened his mouth anyway. "You were my dream after all," he whispered begrudgingly. "I was blind not to see it."
That did it. The dread and burden I've been feeling was finally lifted off of me and I finally feel lighter than a feather.
The wounds he gave me were still there and they will heal slowly, but I can't deny my own heart right at this moment.
"Woo?" I smiled tightly. He looked at me expectantly, and it made my insides mushy. "My heart that beated for you will never stop either, so don't beat yourself up. I can never get rid of it."
He stared at me like I held the stars from the sky and offered it to him. In hindsight, I might as well have done it. He scoffed lightly. The insinuation was there, but that's all there is - that I still held him in my heart but it stops here.
"Don't be afraid to try new things, weren't you the one who always told me that? You miss the shots you don't take. If you don't want to make the same mistakes as you did with me, grab them while they're still there," I shrugged.
It was like nothing happened, as if we weren't separated for so long because of our circumstances. We finally caught up, laughed, giggled, gossiped like we used to before things got bad between us. I missed him so much, the way he would laugh like a dying fox, the way his eyes crinkled up, all of it.
We talked, we cried, the whole nine yards. The missing piece I didn't know was missing until now finally completed me. How have I lived that long without him?
"You got your wish now," Wooyoung jokes. "You finally have Mars once you marry Seonghwa."
Ah yes, Seonghwa helped me all throughout my journey. If it wasn't for him, I would have been a goner.
I scoffed, the nostalgia hitting me like a ton of bricks. "I can't believe you still remember that," I laughed. "I do have Hwa now, yes, but the planetarium will always be my first Mars."
Wooyoung smirked playfully. "It had better be. I hated it."
"What?" I threw a pillow at him jokingly. "Why did you take me then?"
"I guess you're going to have to find out, hmm?" he snickered.
He was about to throw a pillow at me too, but when he saw my solemn expression, he stopped. 
This time the nostalgia hit us both. That was exactly what he said when I asked if I had to pay for the very first photo he took of me.
Instead of being sad, one look at each other and we burst out laughing, giggling, and guffawing like hyenas in the wild, not caring if anybody heard us and thought we were crazy.
"Y/N?" Wooyoung uttered endearingly. I hummed in response. "Can I hold your hand for the last time?"
I held my hands for him, and he grabbed it so gently I wanted to cry. They were warm, and he held on yet simultaneously set me free.
He brought my hands to his chest, looking like he wanted to kiss them, but he held back out of respect for Seonghwa. Instead of his lips, tears fell onto them.
"If there is another life," he whispered. "I hope I can meet you again and if not, I will find you until I cease to breathe."
His heartbeat was so steady, and I felt my body shake, and once more, my eyes filled with unshed tears and I cried for the both of us this time. He releases one of my hands and wipes my tears delicately.
"Please don't cry, not for me again," he croaked, trying his very best to stop his own tears. "I don't want you to ruin your makeup."
"It's okay, Seonghwa and his team did my makeup anyway," I sniffled. "I hope in the next life you're not going to hate that you need me."
"Never," he objected. "Even if we don't remember, my heart will know."
I swatted his arm playfully. I never meant to giggle a little at that, he had always been so poetic and so cheesy. I guess some things never change.
"Stay for the wedding and reception, please?" I fretted. "I want my best friend there. Mingi tailored a suit for you in case you came."
I was nervous, afraid that he would reject my plea because he might feel out of place. I sighed a breath of relief when I saw him beam.
"I'll be there," Wooyoung mused. "I owe you this at least, Y/N, and I am going to give you and Seonghwa the best photos you both will ever see."
I cheered internally, but my excitement tipped over the top and I couldn't help but outwardly show it. Wooyoung laughed and we finally pulled ourselves in a hug to seal the deal. It was enough to make up for all the years we spent apart because one touch entwined our souls.
I realized that the electric spark that once tickled my skin whenever Wooyoung touched me was still there, and it was as strong as I knew it to be, but they no longer burned.
More tears made their way on Wooyoung's shirt when I recognized that I had healed a long time ago. I had mourned my loss and woke up anew, and the passing time did wonders too.
"Did you feel that?" Wooyoung mumbled, and I knew he referred to that spark.
"Yes," I squeaked. "Yes, I did. But why did you lie?"
Wooyoung paused from rubbing soothing circles on my back. "What do you mean?"
"I can feel your heart. The intensity never lessened, Wooyoung, you lied."
He pulled away from me, his lips pursed as he held my face with his hands. "I have to," he admitted. "I can't ruin the happiness you have found for yourself."
There were no words that needed to be spoken. We had finally found the closure we both needed.
The rest of Ateez entered the room one by one and gave both of us a knowing look. Wooyoung and I both grinned at them and gave them a thumbs up, to which they cheered loudly.
"You good, darling?" Seonghwa kissed my forehead as the others whisked Wooyoung away with teasing tones so he could change his outfit.
"Thank you, Hwa, thank you so much," I gushed, melting at his solemn embrace.
Seonghwa had always been there for me, he was so loving and patient towards me, and most of all, Seonghwa had chosen me, and I chose him.
He had his work too, he was a makeup artist, and that required traveling a lot, but instead of leaving me like Wooyoung did, Seonghwa did everything in his power to take me with him so we could be together. He didn't give up on the love we shared.
Wooyoung and I still loved each other dearly, but we had chosen our paths a long, long time ago - he chose to leave, and I chose to move on with my life. Seonghwa had made me realize that if you really loved somebody, nothing will stop you. 
I kissed my future husband tenderly on the lips, to which he returned with urgency. The love I felt for him was different from the love I had for Wooyoung, but it burned just as brighter, if not stronger.
It was the true love I had longed to have.
Seonghwa and I finally tied the knot. Our wedding was a celebration of our love and those who came to celebrate it with us. It was simple, pure and all I ever wanted.
"I, Park Seonghwa, promise to love you, L/N Y/N, and cherish you until my last breath, and even then, you have to make sure I'm dead because I will always come back to you," he vowed, making a couple of people laugh. "You came in at the right time of my life, and I promise that for as long as I am here, I will make you the happiest woman on Earth. I love you so, so much, my darling."
I couldn't even get the words out, tearing up profusely especially with how Seonghwa looked at me with such love. At this point I wasn't the only one sniffling.
"I, L/N Y/N, promise to love you, Park Seonghwa, and cherish you until--- wait, if you go, then I'll be lonely, so please don't go," I giggled along with our friends and family. "You are the reason I'm alive, and I cannot believe I am marrying the love of my life. I will be yours as you want me to, Hwa."
The moment the priest announced that Seonghwa can kiss the bride, everybody whooped and cheered loudly and I couldn't help but laugh in between my now husband's kiss. I could've sworn I saw Hongjoong shed a tear or two but San was too busy teasing the elder by cooing at him mockingly.
Yeosang almost protested when Seonghwa's kiss lasted a little too long, but Wooyoung had quickly covered his mouth and pulled him away while he flailed his arms comically.
The wedding reception was a beautiful garden party that oversaw the lake. We were all surrounded by the fragrant petals that amplified the romantic sunset that gave the sky a pretty tinge of pink and purple.
Yunho was a wonderful host despite the initial nervousness he held and there was never a dull moment, especially when Mingi had caught the flower bouquet I had thrown over my shoulder. The gentle giant's reddened face was definitely the highlight of the night.
Jongho's voice filled the entire reception, to which me and Seonghwa encouraged everybody to dance to the rhythm whether Jongho sang a passionate song for us or an upbeat jazzy tune that made all of us dance the night away. Of course in between, me and my now husband would kiss and everyone would hoot.
Just as our wedding and love were elegant and sweet, so was our wedding cake. Everybody dwindled down to eat and drink to their heart's content. My feet were killing me anyway so I chose to sit down at my spot at the front with Seonghwa.
"You really went all out with this, huh?" I teased him.
He laughed, his deep sending delicious shivers up my spine. "Heck yeah," he snorted. "This is a once in a lifetime thing, baby."
As we watched everyone enjoy the night with their friends and family, I saw Wooyoung bowing to this old man, a friend of my father's, with a huge smile on his face after giving him his calling card.
I was happy for him, it looks like he finally followed his heart and scored another deal after being scared of doing another one. I watched him take his phone out and call somebody giddily, and when he dropped the call, I laughed as I saw him punch the air in excitement.
It was as if he knew someone was watching him. Wooyoung looked back and we made eye contact for the last time as old lovers. There were no words between us, but a million things in our eyes as we finally let go of all the hurt.
He smiled at me, nodding once, and I did the same, smiling back at him softly, before he turned around and left the venue.
And just like that, he was gone.
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iceclew · 2 months ago
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Tumblr media
Some added story below
music recommendation, as always :3
----
“Bernard said, you needed something?”
"Henry! Yes indeed. There's an excort planned for Sasau tomorrow. Hanush ordered some additional gifts, quite valuable goods that is. I need you to accompany them, since the roads are pretty stuffed with all sorts of scum at the moment. You'll be heading quite early at daybreak, so be ready, will you?"
“But a trip to Sasau and back is like… at least a day’s effort.”
“Which is why you are heading out early, are you not listening?” a nervous breathed laugher was heard, but Hans did not look up from the book he’s been engrossed in.
“But tomorrow is-”
“I know, what day is tomorrow, Henry.”
Henry stood there in silence. Waiting. From experience he could tell Hans’ rough and rushed tone would disappear, once his impatient first impulse subsided.
“…. Listen.”, the lord of Pirkstein and just recently officially recognized lord of Rattay closed the book in front of him with a firm quick movement, before his hands got to rest on its cover.
"I can't…have you here. I can't…do this…to you. I don't want to…force you to be on my side…when I'm…getting married.."
Henry followed Hans' gaze and both ended up starring into the rustling warmth of the fire pit. The wooden pieces cracked tirelessly. Hans must have added new logs to the flame right before Henry entered the room. A certain numbness had settled in Henry's spine days ago. Initially a small inconvenience, it grew to gain weight close to flour sacks by now. Heavy, perhaps even filled with something sharp and dark, hidden deep inside. It was hard and slow work but undoubtedly it had to be taken care of, whether he liked it or not.
"Hm. Hanush will be upset. He personally ordered me to be there, I recall quite well."
“I don’t care about Hanush anymore, Henry… He should have waited with the council’s meeting, if he’s really that picky ‘bout the orders he gives out. Things changed….”
Henry let his eyes be hypnotized by the dancing flames in front of him. A fire, warm and bright. Steady but still dancing with its full force and energy. A sight that had burned itself into his mind months ago, when times were different for them. Burdens far bigger than today’s had been hanging on his shoulders, but the fire pit and it’s warmth still burned for him back then. Just like they did today.
“Get up.”
Barely notable a small smile ran across Hans' face,"Ordering around nobility again, are we Henry? Will you ever learn."
“Please.” Henry was not able to hold back a smile for himself now.
Flames jumping eagerly around the chimney next to him. Hans put down the book he was still holding and got up from his chair. Just like that Henry's fingers were all over his space again. Slightly lifting up his own hand from his side and aimlessly intertwining with his own.
"Whenever being by your side. There is no force with it. There never was, Hans. If you want me to be somewhere else, I'll be. But I will always be right next to you, whenever you want me to. Because I want to, and that desire will always outweigh everything else I'll have to deal with."
The quiet, steady cracking of burning logs finally filled the entire room.
.......................
Fuck it's been quite some time, since I last wrote stuff... like...really storytelling, not just brabbling out all my thoughts about something...
I don't know why but I don't like my Hansry art just ...yet... it's ...not quite... something's still off.... and probably it's just me not able to get out of my brain again with these... therefore I hoped adding some story would get me on track or smth... :)
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vincentvalenfine · 10 months ago
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release and relief
vincent valentine/afab!reader warnings: explicit sexual content, menstruation, eating out and fingering MDNI 18+ nsfw duh this is exactly what you think it is friends!!
"Let me ease your pain," Vincent murmurs into the crook of your neck after an hour has passed since you first took some medicine for your cramps; neither that nor the heated pad he has gently pressed to your stomach have chased away the aching, draining misery of your period.
"It's gross, though..." you mumble, head leaning back on his shoulder. You know exactly what he's offering, and you're already thinking about his hands and mouth doing much more indecent things than what they're doing right now.
All he does is hum quietly, opening his mouth and pressing his teeth to your skin gently. It wouldn't be the first time he's bitten you, a pointed (ha) reminder that while he's no vampire, neither does he shy away from the taste of blood. You can't help a tired little whine, squirming a bit until he closes his lips over your skin and sucks lightly, his left hand free of its gauntlet for once slipping from its chaste perch on your waist down to grasp your thigh and massage the muscle there with elegant, delicate movements. It keeps his claws from digging in, not that you would mind it much.
"Vincent, please..."
He hums again, his tongue pleasantly cool against your hot skin, and you squirm again with another whine. He's too good at making you want him even when you feel awful, and right when your body is at its least attractive you feel. Most likely because he considers it to be nothing compared to his own body’s strangeness, which is sweet in a weird kind of way.
Finally you heave a sigh and he knows he's won, picking you up effortlessly from the couch and moving quickly back towards your bedroom. Still bundled in his cloak, you don't have much choice in the matter anyway and just pout at him. All you get in response is a hint of a smirk before he lays you out on the bed.
"Don't forget a towel - Vincent!" You yelp a little as he forgoes that step and swiftly draws your pants and padded underwear both down to your ankles to expose you, settling himself over your legs as if he were a particularly large cat.
Which makes him the predator and you the prey, already pinned and vulnerable.
His eyes are locked on his prize, your tender, swollen lips stained bright red and aching, both with period pains and now arousal. But as always he starts on your inner thighs, to kiss and lick and nibble a slow path upward, and as always you find yourself writhing impatiently and reaching for the messy black locks that you know he enjoys having pulled. One demanding tug, then two - he growls his pleasure in response, then makes eye contact with you and smirks faintly before pressing one more slow, heated kiss on the inside of your thigh, just before it meets with your hips.
"Vincent, don't tease me right now," you pout again. He chuckles, low and rich, then gives you what you need finally. A few broad swipes of his tongue across your slit catch the blood staining your lips, and then he dives in with tongue and lips and the occasional delicate teasing of teeth that drives you wild every time, quiet groans and hums a reassurance that in spite of the bloody mess, he's fully enjoying his meal.
You can only lie there half-trapped under his weight, legs twitching each time he swirls his tongue around your clit; gasps, moans, curses, and of course his name flow from your mouth freely. Every time you glance down his gaze is on your face, as if he's just as hungry for the praise as he is for you.
"Fuck, Vincent, I'm so close-!"
He doubles down at that, and his mouth focuses on your clit while one of his long fingers presses itself up into your aching cunt, curling up just right. It's a combination that makes stars burst in your vision, the mingled pain and pleasure driving you to a heady climax. Even then, with your walls rolling along his finger and your hand white knuckled in his hair, Vincent makes a show of continuing to lap at your folds like he wants every last drop of bloody slick from you.
The sight is almost too much, and you have to drop your head down against the bed while you catch your breath. You consider telling him he can stop now, but if you're honest with yourself it's just not enough yet - you want him to devour you again, to feel his fingers and tongue as far into you as they can reach, to drive the dull pain away with bursts of pleasure.
"Again, please," you beg in between pants.
All Vincent does is hum, and his mouth is right back to teasing your clit mercilessly. A second finger joins the first, thrusting into you in time with the motion of his tongue as it licks and circles your bud. The pleasure builds again, your hips twitching desperately into the irresistible motions of his mouth as you chase a second release.
He's all too willing to see you to it, shifting down to slide his tongue in atop his fingers to get another taste of you, while his other hand presses the pad of his thumb over your clit, avoiding the chance of an accident with his claw.
"Vincent, please, don't stop, please!"
A few more frantic ruts against him push you over that edge a second time, muscles rolling and fluttering around his fingers, his tongue dipping in and out in time with your orgasm. It's like he wants to milk every last bit of blood and slick from you, like that'll take care of your pain until the next time comes around. A shame that's not the case... but you can imagine how much nicer life would be if that was all it took to make your period go away.
You finally manage to lift your head and look at him again. His face is smeared with red from the tip of his nose down onto his chin, eyes practically glowing with satisfaction as he watches you in return. He curls his fingers one more time just to draw a moan from you, then slips them out and holds them up so he can begin meticulously licking the blood off his pale skin.
The sight is both embarrassing and further arousing; you have to glance away, cheeks warming again after you'd just managed to calm down. He chuckles quietly in response, taking his time to clean his hand and face before he speaks.
"Do you feel better now?"
You nod, laying your head back down as his weight shifts up off your legs and moves along the bed until he can draw you into his embrace once more. His hand settles over the heated pad again to keep it in place, and your head tucks under his like the space there was made just for you.
"Good. Let me know if it becomes unbearable again," he murmurs. You snuggle back into him with a soft sigh, hoping you'll have the clarity of mind to retrieve your underwear before you begin oozing blood all over the bed.
"Thank you, Vincent."
He hums, and presses a kiss to the top of your head. "Rest."
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gloomiebearwritings · 1 year ago
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Reiden, Fujin, Erron, Kabal, and Kitana with an s/o that has ADHD?
Sorry if it's too much or it makes you uncomfortable you can decline the request!
Sorry for takin' so long, I went on a break for a bit there! (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ) I had to leave out Kabal and Kitana as I'm a little rusty still, but I did add Old and Current timeline Raiden! ❤️❤️❤️
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Old Timeline Raiden
ADHD was a new concept to him, at least in terms of being named- but he’s seen a few people before with the same behaviors.
It takes him some time to learn all your little quirks and routines, or lack thereof.
May sometimes become impatient, but always apologizes for his behavior- which over time gets better.
You were asked about by just about everyone, and it seemed to frustrate him more than it did you. Resting off in a room away from everyone else, Raiden takes the brunt of most of everyone’s curiosity for you.
“Y/N needs rest- there is too much going on right now.”
He made sure his voice was stern enough to make his stance clear, “No one is needed that badly right now.”
Though a bit later he catches Johnny going towards your room, stopping him before he gets to the door, “What did I say, Johnny?”
“I was just tryin’ to bring some water!” 
“I will take the water. Go on.”
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Current Timeline Raiden
When you first brought it up to him he joked about how Kung Lao must have it too. 
He’s more open to your needs, learning what you need to get things done and feel more comfortable.
Quite patient and understands you’ll have times of being overwhelmed, and tries to help you in those moments.
“Hey, you alright?” he asks you, seeing you utterly spaced out at all the noise. 
When you shake your head “no” he sighs, offering you his hand and giving a reassuring smile. Once he’s got you to your feet he brings you out of sight of everyone else, letting you pick a spot to calm down. 
“Johnny can be a little loud, I know…”
Sitting next to you he uses himself as a comforting barrier between you and the group, “You stay here as long as you need, okay? There’s no rush.”
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Fujin
He has a better understanding of it than you’d expect considering his time among humans.
By far the most patient and open about things, offering to help remind you of things.
Will help create routines to help curb bad habits, and steer you away from getting too distracted. 
You felt a gentle nudge on your shoulder, breaking you out of your disconnected daze.
“You seem distracted, did something cross your mind?” 
His voice was sweet, face just as sweet as he leaned over to see yours more. When you shook your head “no” he gave a soft smile, “Overworked yourself? Maybe we should take a minute to refresh you?”
He opened the windows in the room to let fresh air in and brought you something to drink. 
“Have this to start, but let me know if you need anything else…”
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Erron
Not the most knowledgeable about the subject, but granted he’s never had to think too hard about things like this before.
Willing to learn however, albeit a little slow when it comes to getting used to new routines.
He will leave little notes around the house for you though, little reminders for things either of you need to do or get. 
He’d left a note on the dining table telling you he’d be home later than usual because he’d be swinging by the market. Which really you didn’t notice until it was almost an hour after he’d normally have been home that it caught your eye. 
Though it seemed like only a minute later he was home, putting things away before coming over to you to give you a friendly little pinch, “Sorry for bein’ out so long…”
Looking at the clock out of curiosity you realize it was 2 hours ahead of when you last looked at it. He chuckled as he realized you must’ve gotten distracted given your mildly confused expression, “Least you didn’t miss me too bad?” he teased.
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swampstew · 1 year ago
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Ok so I am basing this ask off this post:
https://www.tumblr.com/stuckinthewrongworld/754204449503870976?source=share
Could you do this with Law, Kid, and/ or Zoro please? You guys have some fun, but have to go your separate ways for a little bit, but end up in the same place again just a few months later. You've been so busy, you haven't noticed the changes to your body, only that you're more tired, but you think it's just because of everything you've had to accomplish. But he notices right away, because he remembered every little detail about you. Maybe your shirt lifts up and he notices? Or you have a tight fitting shirt on? Idk I'm so in love with this concept I NEED to read it!
-🐍
Hebi the way I had to be on life support for this....the way my uterus was like ok time to be a problem since my womb is empty from this...I could only knock out (HAHAHAHAHA) one for Kid but I plan to repost it along with Law and Zoro's POVs at a later time. Brain only light up for Punk tonight.
Summary: You have a casual relationship with Eustass Kid, a here and there type of thing. At least that's how it felt on your end. You didn't know he felt about you, the way he sees you, the way he wants you. No matter what. No bumps in the road can sway him. CW: Eustass Kid x F Reader, accidental pregnancy scenario - something short and sweet based off this post | no actual smut, all fluff and tenderness from someone so brash and violent
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Kid clocks it right away. He’s so eager when he sees you, finding you on the dock instantly, and the first thing he notices are the dark circles under your eyes and your breasts look particularly perky in your top. He makes himself known, to your surprise, pulling you into a giant hug and asks you if you’re ok.
You tell him you’re just tired from work and your social battery was pretty much drained all the time, but you are happy to see him again. His hand traces your sallow cheeks as you tell him what you’ve been up to before he decides he’s going to carry you to the nearest food stall to get you both something to eat. He holds you while you hold the bags of food, cradled against his muscular chest as he takes long, impatient strides to your home. He’s going to get to the bottom of this and he wants to do it without his crew hovering.
He tells you about his adventures while you eat, if it can be called eating since you a few bites before you looked queasy, abandoning your plate and drinking ginger ale instead. Kid pushes his plate away and brings you to your feet, bringing you to his chest as he his hands gently caress your hips.
“I’ve been gone for a while now. Has anything happened?”
“Hm? Aside from taking on more work to pass the time, not really.”
“Nothing at all? Its been three months since we saw each other.”
“What are you getting at?” you ask irately, not liking the implication of his question.
Kid turns your body so your back is resting against his torso, metal hand holding you in place while his flesh fingers spread across your lower belly. The slow strokes made goosebumps erupt along your soft skin.
“You definitely didn’t have this last time…”
“ARE YOU CALLING ME F—?!” your yell is cut off as he covered your mouth.
“Y/N! Do the math!”
When your body starts trembling, he knows you made the connection and swiftly picks you up and takes you to your bed. Waiting to see if you would start the conversation.
“We never talked about an accident like this,” you whisper.
“No, so what are we going to do?”
“We?”
“Well…yeah. Unless you don’t want me involved…”
“I-I think I want too…but…sigh…I wouldn’t expect you to stay,” you whisper.
“You’re right I wouldn’t” he snorts, “Cause I’m taking you with me, idiot. No way in hell I’m letting you do this alone.”
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zoropookie · 10 months ago
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WHAT YOU WON'T DO FOR LOVE (WYWDFL) — NINE
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YOU couldn't be having a worse halloween night. choose your fate with your fellow readers and see if it gets better!
chapter 7.5 — chapter eight — chapter ten
soulmate!wanderer x gn!reader
You didn't think you were ever going to get an opportunity like this again.
In the midst of apprehension and fear, you stood there next to your captor stiff. Standing in the lingering shadow of your own fate, heart beating fast in your chest, the drumming in your ears getting louder with each second passing. You don't know if it was the winds shiftiness that was making you unsteady, or the sore wrists you inhabit, but something was clawing in your chest.
You couldn't let it show, not now. The car hummed lowly in front of the two, and as you narrowed your eyes towards the guy, your throat tightened. You had a window, one moment to speak up and this would probably all be over. You wanted to cry for help, as unrest clamped hard on your throat.
"I'm only checking to see if you kids need any help," She called out, her voice soft but probing, like she already knew something wasn't.
"We're fine," He said, low and controlled with a certain gravel, cringing at his pacing. You felt like you were splintering apart. "Everything's fine. We're a little tired from a show."
"A show?"
Yeah, if we're calling wild goose chases 'shows' now, I'm sure you won't tell her that, though. You could only smile with a more comfortable aura this time to mask the tension, but your eyebrows were furrowed. "College adaptation of Scream. Spooky...!" You wanted to raise your arms to do jazz hands, but you doubt that would make it look any less suspicious.
The woman's eyes lingered on you a minute longer, face creased with confusion. She hesitated, glancing at the man beside you, slowly absorbing what could be going on here. She tapped on the wheel in thought, her head tilted. "My granddaughter loves those movies, I believe," She said slowly. "Maybe you two go to the same school as she does?"
You looked at your kidnapper, to which he looked at you back, the both of you with side eyes. The dryness in your throat making it more difficult to speak. "Yeeeeah!" You both drawled.
"What a small world. Pretty sure she was the only one who at the rehearsal, we told her to get out, but she just kept insisting." He forced out, the smile on his face twisting into a little bit of a rougher one as he started becoming impatient. The laugh from his throat was hollow, almost foreign, as if it came from someone else. You were crumbling yourself, breaking down bit by bit.
"That sounds like my Julia," The woman said lovingly. "Be sure not to keep those ties on you for too long there, okay? You two are quite dedicated to the craft, I hope to see you out there!" Her voice was soft, probing, but with hardly any suspicion anymore.
It was unfortunate how bad your heart dropped in your chest that there was no. A specific feeling crawling up your spin like icy fingers, she gave you one last look, as if she was trying to find something, a little...unspoken cry for help. You stayed quiet as a mouse, still. "Have a good night, you two." She reached for the gear shift, and the car hummed softly.
She pulled away as the two of them smiled, eyes tracking the slow moving car. Her taillights casting a faint red glow over the darkening streets. She was gone, and in the moment that you two were standing there in the wake of the closest call you could muster, the brief flicker of what you thought was hope was extinguished again.
You squeezed your eyes shut in exhaustion. You were so fucking close; so agonizingly close, even. The universe was turning its back on you yet again as you stare at the distant and foggy path.
But...? For some reason, you felt relieved, too. Not with how your situation faired currently, but that you may have saved a life. You didn't have that much going for yourself right now, so it was nice to feel like you at least did something right. That feeling in your chest made you want to climb mountains, though for a brief period of time until you looked back at your kidnappers severely handsome face.
He seemed to be in thought too, but for a less innocent reason you could easily scope out. "What now? You gonna cut me up and stuff mashed potatoes in me like I'm a turkey? Do it."
"I'm glad you still have the heart to make jokes," he replied, cocking his head slightly as if trying to figure you out. "It makes me feel less bad for what's going to happen next." His fingers drummed adroitly on the hood of the car, each tap threatening your neck like a coiled snake.
"Oh, fantastic!" You threw your conjoined wrists up in defeat. "You know what? You're full of shit, right? Because you don't even know if I saw you stab your friend, and even if I did, why would I snitch you out when you're quite obviously going to come for my cheeks?! You should be thanking me that I saved your ass, but instead you're doing this bit where you act all mysterious and try to keep me on my toes. Jokes on you, I've watched Twilight before. I know what guys do to chase their toys."
"That's nice." He droned. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"I have no idea why you want to kill and murder me, either, but we move on, I guess!" You spat, before sitting on the gravelly path and loosening your shoulders. "I give up. If you want to leave me like roadkill on the side of the road, do it. I don't want to go home, anyway."
He was irritatingly handsome in this light, like a villain carved from some god damn ancient myth, indifferent to your fate. Like you were just a mere mortal to him, and his lips quirked in a small and solemn smile. As per usual, he found it funny that you were throwing your hands up and surrendering. "I didn't go through the trouble to do that."
"Yeah you did. You're all the same." You shot back, your voice sulky and heavy. "It's always this fucked up game to keep you from getting bored. Until you find the next one."
He knelt down, the darkened gravel crunching under his shoes. "You don't know shit about me to even be concerned on whether you're dying today, or tomorrow, or any time soon." He said so quietly his voice was almost a sharp whisper only you could hear. He was turning your words over in his mind, shaping it himself. His face was inches from yours again, holding a long gaze. "But you're right about one thing."
Your stomach churned, and just as your fears predicted, you sucked in a deep breath, your mouth falling ajar before looking down at your shoulder. It took you a minute to process what happened before a large, crimson stain ate away at what was left of the fabric there. You felt warm, a different type of pain from what your body was already experiencing.
"I do get bored easily."
You could barely grasp onto what he was saying properly from how your shoulder screamed, excruciating lapses of pain rushing through your body so prominent that you fought not to pass out. You didn't care to try not to cry and wail in pain, you had nothing to lose.
Crimson spilled from your hands as he forced the knife out, the gushing of the liquids leaving him to marvel at your inner turmoil. Impenetrable enjoyment, as you already noted flowing through his body as he let out a resigned sigh. He lifted his hand to grab violently at your face, holding it with little regard in his hands, the metal of the ring on his thumb almost splitting a part of your chin.
"No more." He said finally, tone devoid of his previous one. "We're done playing, 'soulmate'."
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no poll for this chapter! (you guys are kinda bad at this, no offense. see you next week!)
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taglist ♢ @kinvasions @kazumiku @animeobsessed56 @levianamor @auroratumbles
@mellowberrie @scarawiki @xxxion @shutingstar @feikyuu
@mercy-not-merci
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