#but NOT in the smart way

[sapphic-woes]

Me the more I look at Ac Mirage

[werewolf-transgenderism]

terfs celebrating that the international chess federation has banned trans women from competing in women's FIDE competitions, because it's sooooooo feminist to argue that women are so biologically inferior and nowhere near as smart as men and thus can't play chess on the same level. girl that's not feminism that's literally just misogyny

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[sleepysebris]

felix exuberating theater-kid energy nonstop this season just makes me imagine his pv chat noir design being a parody of adrien's chat noir

[bixels]

Just gonna have to wait and see, right? Just wait and see! Just gotta wait and see! Who knows, we'll just have to wait and see! It's anybody's guess, we'll just have to wait and see! The future is exciting, we just gotta wait and see!

[nonasbirthday]

Clear as mud! But I expect nothing less from a Homestuck 🫡

[beaft]

off of my last post: i feel like corporate horror has such a rich seam of possibilities that are just begging to be mined. the helpless, nightmarish feeling of watching your life get chewed up by the implacable machinery of faceless corporations in which you are nothing but an easily-replaceable cog and knowing the whole time that you chose to be here. that you can, theoretically, leave any time you want. mindless, pointless busywork that you're expected to take pride in even when it has no measurable impact. feeling like you're running on a treadmill - always busy, never achieving anything. upper managers who only communicate with you by email. CEOs who never communicate with you at all, and may not actually exist for all you know. you can leave any time you want. but you can't, can you? not really. you still have to pay the bills.

[ministarfruit]

day 10: love is devotion ♡

(femslashfeb prompt list)

[the-adventures-of-dave]

Around tumblr lately I’ve seen people with the opinion that not only are free roaming cats bad (correct) but also supervised cats in catios or on leashes (????). I assume it must stem from that “ecology of fear” post from a few months ago, but to me the sudden appearance of these kinds of posts just strikes me as odd. I’ve seen multiple posts like the below one in just this week.

—

—

If your cat is contained to your yard/catio/the sidewalk, then it still allows for predator-free safe places in your neighbourhood for wildlife, and creates predictability for them too. That’s one of the reasons why hiking trails ask people to stay on the trail— so you (and your dog, horse, cat, etc) can safely enjoy nature while still giving it space. It is possible to exist outdoors in natural spaces like that while maintaining wildlife comfort. If it wasn’t possible to do that, dog-friendly or (even just hiking trails in general, since humans are predators too) simply wouldn’t exist.

The problem with free roaming cats is that they break boundaries between human area (ie. trail, back porch) and wildlife area (foliage, etc) and there is nowhere the wildlife can go to exist that is safe from predators.

Idk, this is just my opinion but I just think there can be more nuance to the outdoor/free roaming cat issue than “never let your cat step outside under any circumstance”.

[glfry]

Can we agree that the "Thats two things" line from Mike was autistic as shit

[turtleblogatlast]

I think a lot about Leo’s tendency to push his way into the spotlight despite clearly being a natural in the shadows. Hell, you could argue that his worst moments are when he’s forcing himself onstage, and his best are when he does things no one notices until it’s already been done.

[kindlythevoid]

Friendly reminder that Merry knew about the Ring before Bilbo even left. Friendly reminder that all of Frodo’s hobbit friends were spying on him through Sam to make sure that he was alright and that he wasn’t going to leave without saying goodbye. Friendly reminder that Merry and Pippin knew about the Ring and its importance to the Enemy and still decided to go with Frodo. Friendly reminder that Frodo wasn’t going to ask them to leave the Shire. Friendly reminder that Fredegar Bolger was one of Frodo’s close friends and knew about the Ring as well, but stayed behind in order to keep Frodo’s disappearance a secret for as long as possible.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Turtle Takedown Teamwork.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[relaxxattack]

people will really write rose as a badass girlboss as if her main character trait isn’t hubris. as if her main story arc wasn’t her fucking things over for everyone time and time again by assuming she was better and wiser. oh you think rose is a girlboss? rose who intentionally allowed herself to be corrupted by morally ambiguous terrors because she thought it might give her a slight mental advantage on the game? rose who willingly went along with the manipulation of a groomer because she thought his idea of putting a tumor into the universe was smart? THAT rose? that rose??? why don’t you ask her where the green sun is. since she’s such a competent and intelligent boss bitch

[bullagit]

due to personal reasons i am now firmly on team “i hope aziraphale does change heaven for the better actually (going on the assumption that his return is as straightforward as it seemed etc” 

like if the alternative is just this ohhh he’s so NAIVE and SOFT and so WRONG and he’ll have to LEARN A TOUGH LESSON etc etc nonsense then yeah 1000% go for it babe knock it out of the park

i hope choosing hope and kindness pays dividends. i hope the soft traits that made other characters continually disparage and underestimate him and his intelligence turn out to be his greatest assets bc i kinda don’t give a shit about a “toughen up it’s the only way everyone else knows better” life lesson for this character

(which like honestly a lot of the rhetoric is dismissive of the fact that persistent goodness in the face of an existence of disparagement takes great strength and that at the end of the day aziraphale has always been able to stand up in his own way)

[ew-selfish-art]

Dpxdc Au - Tim and Danny are Twins, have been through all the introductions and after a few years decide to have The Audacity. 

At some point it hits the two of them, that they really do act alike sometimes. Like, mannerisms and small detail micro expressions, the whole nine, so Danny and Tim decide to take advantage of this.

Parent trap style swapping but all within the same household, they cut their hair and swap clothes, and get in a few practice runs around the halls of Wayne Manor. No one in the family catches them through at least 3 family dinners, so they go for the larger gambit. 

Tim wants to go to high school for a bit and get back into skate boarding with low stakes- Thats what he tells Danny at least, he really wants to spend the time dismantling the GIW from the epicenter in Amity Park. It works out that Tim accomplishes this in record time (explosives didn’t require ethics in his opinion) and does actually get to enjoy his hobbies again for a bit. 

Danny wants to tell off the WE board members and get some proper Red Robin training so he’s not so dependent on his powers when facing human enemies (they were squishier than ghosts, restraint was key)- That’s what he tells Tim when the reality is he’s going to lead a hostile takeover of DalvCo. and well, yeah, actually get some training in. 

No one catches on except for Kon. 

After they’ve swapped back and their missions are debriefed, Tim asks him why he never fell for it? Simply put: “Uh, dude. Your twin doesn’t have a heartbeat half the time, it was pretty easy to tell.”