#but again love makes you do crazy things i suppose and i’ll never quite grasp that maybe

[favroitecrime]

finally watched west side story. #that scene from where anita and graziella reach for each other… yeah. one of two scenes that shook me to the core

[onigiri-dorkk]

Hi I'm new to the fandom and not gonna lie for a long time I was confused about why would anyone ship Rivamika because it always seemed like Levi was barely aware of Mikasa and Mikasa hated Levi or disliked him. I started reading the manga last week and I'm honestly surprised by how little changes made a huge different. WIT always made it seem like Mikasa didn't care about anyone other than Ereh and I believe they are the reason why everyone makes fun of Mikasa for being obsessed. I genuinely thought "I love her but she's very ungrateful and rude sometimes, their strongest soldier hurt his ankle when they needed him the most because of her and all she cared about is Ereh" but it's not like that in the manga. She actually feels guilty and responsible which is a great panel to show how character development. A 3 seconds scene would do so much good to Mikasa's character but WIT somehow didn't want to include that scene. Even in S3 it seemed like they would like to keep them apart and don't let them interact even though there was a huge reveal about them. And I think it's not only WIT. Even Isayama himself is almost afraid to let them interact and I'm not talking about shipping here. Imagine finding out that someone experienced the same things as you did, have this weird mysterious power thing going on and that person is your Captain whom you made it clear that you trust and respect now. It's crazy to me that they don't even talk and compare their experiences etc???? Again, it's not even about shipping, it pisse me off because it feels like Mikasa isn't allowed to have anything of her own, the reason why Mikasa ships aren't popular isn't because she's not loved, it's because Isayama, WIT and even Mappa didn't let her have many meaningful interactions. Hell, even with Armin (they are supposed to be a trio) it sometimes feel like they were just hanging out for Eren. Ughhh they could at least let Mikasa have Ackermans for her own. She could interact more with Levi and even with Kenny for a sec. So disappointing :(

Wow!! Anon, welcome to the fandom and thanks for sending this! I never get asks and it’s always exciting 😂 We’re glad you’re here!

The “I didn’t get how people shipped rivamika” thing is common tbh, don’t worry! I was on that train too until I stopped to think about everything implied between the lines—most of it being in the manga, as you said. I know people say things like we ‘grasp at straws’ but there is realistically fantastic depth we can assume from their closeness as comrades alone. The magic of Rivamika as a ship is it takes more deep knowledge of the characters to understand why it WORKS so well. And when you get it, gosh, it’s amazing!

We definitely agree too, that WIT cut such crucial scenes to Mikasa’s character. I will never understand their choices… And I’ll forever grieve it 😭 That scene of self-reflection and guilt over Levi’s injury/absence is important because it’s the first time she finally thought outside of her tunnel vision of Eren. Ultimately, she learns to care about what happens to others as a result of her actions, which quite literally starts with Levi.

I also agree, it seems like Yams started the Ackerman reveal + arc but decided midway not to commit to it or develop it. It explained their strength, but that was it. It’s strange that even in the anime they chose not to explain that Ackerman’s are Titan DNA hybrids. That seems like a crucial piece but I wonder why they didn’t think it was important. Because then the whole “Ackerman’s are immune to x and x” has no narrative proof at all.

I like to think Ackertalk happened behind the scenes. I like reading everyone’s versions of it—but always a shame we never got that in canon. It’s even strange because they both lost their entire families, so finding out you’re from the same people should at least create a sense of bonding or they’d take on a slightly familial role, or SOMETHING. (Though I’m glad it didn’t go that route because people would REALLY think they’re cOuSiNs lol) But it’s just strange Yams introduced these things that ended up really having not much purpose, or none at all. (Don’t get me started on the Azumabito shit)

I still hope and manifest for some sort of Ackerman spin off that explores this. Can you imagine? Levi and Mikasa (the cash cows of AOT, we say!) venturing off post-war to discover more about the Ackerman’s? Or to retrace and find surviving Ackerman’s outside the world?

[boldlyvoid]

Million Dollar Man | Chapter Four

18+

summary: Spencer's therapist recommended he branch out and meet new people who don't want to talk about his work... she didn't expect him to sign up for a Sugar Daddy website.

Content warnings: sugar daddy!spencer, age gaps (14 years), daddy kink, blow jobs, kissing, discussion of previous sexual relationships with older men (big age gaps), kink talks, cum play, praise, oral (female receiving), fingering, 69ing... its really dirty i hope i got it all

word count: 3.8k

a/n: updates on Wednesdays and Saturdays

Chapter Four | Masterlist

Waking up beside Spencer is an absolute blessing, he is the most tender and loving man in the whole world and she’s never going to get enough of him. He snuggles so tight, he holds her just right and he’s just big enough that she fits against him like she’s always supposed to have been there.

Her alarm goes off at 10:30 and he doesn’t even budge, she struggles to get out of his grasp to turn it off before he just pulls her right back in.

“I could get used to this,” she coo’s as she relaxes back into his embrace.

He kisses the back of her neck and one of his hands cups her breast. He runs his nose along her skin as he takes it all in, “I can come back every night.”

“Okay,” she smiles at the thought. “Are you coming with me to Brookfield today?”

He hums, “I have something to pick up first but I’ll be back to pick you up.”

“Do you want to meet Craig?” She asks nervously, knowing he knows.

“I’m not sure,” he’s honest. “It’s weird thinking he’s slept with you and he has a thing for my mother.”

“As weird as it was, I don’t regret it, he was really lonely after Patsy died and hadn’t slept with anyone in years,” she explains it again to him, it’s easier than the first time.

“I’m not judging you,” he whispers before kissing her again.

“I know,” she rolls over while still in his grip, pressing her chest against his and kissing him quickly before remembering her own rule, “pretend it’s still dark out.”

He laughs, “was he at least good to you?”

“Are you really asking me if the old man I fucked was good in bed?” She rolls her eyes with a laugh, “it was fine, I was used to just laying there and taking it back then.”

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes for her past experiences knowing he can change them and that she's content with them, “can I make it up to you?”

“It's not my birthday,” she teases him once more.

“Then why are you in your birthday suit?” He kisses her neck as her back arches, giving him the access to do whatever he pleased.

This was her favourite part of sleeping with him, he was handsy and he kissed everywhere. He was so tentative, he was gentile and sensual and she loved him. The way he kissed her body, his hands on her back as she arched, grinding against him as his leg slipped between hers.

“Daddy?” She’s already breathless as she anticipates whatever he’s going to do to her.

He hums, “what baby?”

“Can we try something?” She looks at him with puppy dog eyes, wanting more of him and knowing exactly how to get it.

“What?” He looks from her eyes to her lips and back.

She smirks, “lay back?”

He does as she asks and she makes a quick move to straddle him, reverse cowgirl, and it makes him gasp. He hooks his arms under her legs and pulls her hips towards his face as she grips his cock at the base.

She’s never done this before, excited to finally experience her two favourite things at once, with her favourite person. Taking him in one go down her throat as far as she can, he moans against her thigh as he works his way towards her dripping core.

He pulls her in closer, burying his tongue inside of her as she swirls her tongue around the head of his cock, stroking what doesn’t fit in her mouth. She moans around him as he sucks her clit into his mouth. When he slides a finger into her, she gasps as she runs her tongue along the shaft, “more please, daddy?”

He adds a second finger and curls it with each thrust, she strokes him in time with his fingers rubbing her tongue on the slit, pushing him closer and closer and closer until he’s moaning into her cunt as he finger fucks her relentlessly.

She cums on his face with a quake, her whole body shaking as she sucks one of his balls into her mouth and keeps jerking him. He cums over her hand then, finally releasing her clit from his mouth, they both sigh as they come down from their highs.

She rolls off him, feet on her pillow and hand cupping her own breast as she tries to catch her breath, “yeah, I can get used to waking up next to you.”

—

“Bullshit!”

Y/N reaches for the apparent 3 4’s that Craig dropped in the pile, filling them to see he was indeed truthful and handing them to Diana. “You’re slacking today.”

“I do so much better when I don’t know who he is,” Diana smirks as she takes the cards.

“Speaking of,” she smiles to herself as she looks through her own cards, “your son, Spencer, is coming to see you today.”

“How do you know that?”

“I might be dating Spencer,” she scrunches her face in anticipation of her reaction.

“Really?”

She nods, a smile building on her face as she starts to feel a bit flustered, “yeah, I met him last year and we’ve been friends for a while but it’s getting serious, so I thought I’d tell you.”

She’s quiet as she thinks about it and Y/N’s anxiety goes to full blast, “I’m so sorry.”

“Why?” Diana asks.

“For not telling you and pretending I don’t know him,” she's quick with her response. “He knows we know each other from your notes but we didn’t talk about it until last night, I feel so bad keeping that from you but I've known him the whole time.”

“I was going to introduce you to each other in the hopes you would take care of him, you’re wonderful and he needs someone who he doesn’t have to look after. I’ve thought you would be good for him for quite a while actually,” Diana compliments her with a smile. “Try calling bullshit on that.”

It makes her laugh, leaning over into Diana’s space as she wrapped her arms around Y/N, “well as good as I am to him, he’s even better to me.”

Holding Diana was nice, she missed her moms so much that it was a good substitute until she saw her own again.

“How did you meet?”

Y/N pulls back with a stutter, “uh, well we met online actually and he took me to dinner and we got to talking and we’ve been really good friends for a while, he uh, he’s the reason I’m getting my book published.”

“Really?” She blinks a few times the way Spencer does when he tries to absorb information.

She wasn’t dumb, she knew her son had money and he was a lot older than her and that meeting on the internet isn’t as innocent as it sounds.

“He’s my best friend.”

She smiles again, “that’s the key to a successful relationship.”

Craig was quiet the whole time, staring at his cards and drinking his water while they talked. “For what it’s worth,” he adds, “I think he’s lucky to have you, you’re a good woman.”

Y/N’s so busy looking at Craig with a smile that she doesn’t notice Spencer walk-in or the way Diana gleams at him. He walks up behind her and rests his chin on her shoulder, “Hey, pretty woman.”

She jumps slightly before laughing, he wraps his arms around her and kisses her cheek quickly, “hey mom,” he makes his way from Y/N to Diana.

Hugging her quickly before coming to sit beside Y/N again, he notices Craig too and waves, “nice to meet you as well, sir.”

She analyzes his face as he looks at Craig, worried that he’s going to go full alpha male and start a fight or something crazy like her old boyfriends would. But he smiles and he’s calm, he holds her hand and they play another few rounds of cards and it's like they’ve all been friends for years.

Visiting hours are about to come to an end when Spencer finally brings it up, “how would you feel if I moved to LA for a little while?”

She’s really confused, “are you getting a transfer at work?”

“No, Y/N has a job offer and I’d like to go with her,” he’s honest with his mom, it’s easier than with anyone else. “I’ll travel here whenever you need me, and once a week just to say hello.”

“Or I can finally go back to Vegas,” she says it like she’s been thinking about it for a while. “I miss my friends and my sister, Spencer.”

“And I’m thinking about moving there as well so my pneumonia isn’t as bad this winter,” Craig adds, sitting closer to Diana than before and taking her hand.

Spencer looks very uncomfortable and Y/N can feel it radiating off him, “my moms are also in Vegas, it would be nice for all of you to be close.”

“I think that would be nice,” Spencer agrees, “and then we can just take a short trip to Vegas once a week to visit with you.”

“That would be lovely,” Diana smiles, “even on my bad days I don’t forget who Craig is to me, I know he’s my best friend in here and I’m really glad you’re comfortable with this.”

Spencer smiles, it’s awkward for him to know everything that he knows, and by the way Craig looks at him, he knows Spencer knows.

“Please, just take care of her,” is all Spencer has to say to him. “I’ve already been to prison once.”

“Spencer,” Diana scolds him while trying not to laugh at the absurdity.

“I’m kidding,” he smiles, “I’m happy that you’re happy.”

“It’s only taken us 30 years,” she reaches out a hand for Spencers, “but we did it.”

It’s a beautiful moment that Y/N gets to witness, she holds a hand to her heart as Spencer wraps his arms around his mom. She was doing amazing, she was happy and even happier that Spencer was happy.

“We did it,” Spencer agrees, holding her close, always a mama’s boy at heart.

—

They stop at his apartment on the way home, he needed some things for the next 2 days and his suitcase for this weekend. His apartment was always so dark and cold, the green was beautiful but it was far too sad. It didn’t feel like Spencer, it didn’t have his energy or personality, it was just a few walls and a bunch of books.

She sits on his couch and touches her necklace, remembering when he gave it to her and how she thanked him. He was rummaging around in his room without her, leaving her with time to just think about sucking him off on this couch, being between his legs, the feeling of him in her mouth, knowing she already had him this morning but she still wants him again.

She gets up from her seat and walks into his bedroom, pushing him up against the wall, he’s a little startled but he smirks, “what?”

“Is there a word for ravenous for dick?” She teases.

“Horny,” he responds with a giggle, “ovulating? Frustrated, deprived, desperate... slut.”

“I like the last 2 together.”

“What else do you like?” He whispers as she leans in to brush their noses together, “we’ve never discussed your needs, you’ve always just asked about mine, but this isn’t all about me.”

“It was when you were paying me,” she rationalizes, “I’m pretty basic, I’ll try anything once.”

“But what do you like the most?”

“You,” she’s honest. “How big you are for one, the fact you can just throw me around like a rag doll if you wanted… I like your hands, and your mouth and I like how you talk, I like how sweet you are, I like how we could do the dirtiest fucking things in the whole world with each other. I like that we could do the roughest, kinkiest and most intense scenes and yet I’m completely safe with you.”

He swallows and his Adam's apple bobs right in her view, she can’t help herself from kissing his neck, licking along the pulse point before sucking a deep purple mark into his skin, “what do you like besides me?”

“Praise,” she whispers.

“Good girl.”

“Mild degradation,” she kisses his neck again and starts to unbutton his shirt. “Spanking, raw missionary and messy kisses,” every new thing comes with a kiss as her hands reach down to palm him through his slacks, “pleasing my partner, knowing you get off to me, watching, being watched, belonging to you.”

He takes her chin in his hands and makes her look up at him, “in what sense?”

“Mark me, claim me, breed me,” she whispers and his eyes darken, she swears there is a growl that leaves his throat.

“I want everyone to know I’m yours, show everyone who I belong to, let everyone know only you can please me and show them that no one is better for me than my daddy.”

“You’re evil saying all this knowing I'm not going to fuck you yet,” his voice has never been this low, his eyes are black and the grip he has on her is so tight it makes her gasp.

“You asked,” she smirks, “and if you expect me to be an obedient little submissive, you’re very wrong. "

He gulps and the mood changes very quickly.

"I’m a brat and I’m a switch, and I have more control here than you do.” She tightens her grip around his cock and he whimpers, “that’s what I thought.”

She undoes his button and takes him out, licking her palm while making eye contact with him, she then wraps her hand around him and pumps up and down his shaft. Gathering his precum that’s collected from simply listening to her, his hand on her chin had made its way into her hair and his other grips her hip tighter than ever before.

“I want to fuck all day long,” she whispers, leaning in more and brushing her bottom lip against his, “I want you to come and find me when you’re bored and just bend me over and take me, I want to just sit on your lap while to read and ride you, I want to fall asleep with you deep inside me and wake up full of your cum.”

He tosses his head back against the wall, groaning as she slows her movements. She drags her hand up, squeezing at the head as he thrusts back into her hand, all she can think about is how good it’s going to be when he’s pushing inside of her, not just in her fist.

“Does it feel good, daddy?” She teases him again, “are you thinking about my tight little pussy? Hmm?”

“Gonna cum,” he whispers.

“I don’t think that's how you ask.”

His hips sputter as he fucks her hand, “please, mommy?”

It’s so unexpectedly hot she clenches around nothing, aching for him with how horny she is, she drops to the floor, wrapping her mouth around the head, he cums within seconds. She pumps every last drop onto her tongue before standing and connecting their mouths once more, swapping his cum back into his own mouth, but he doesn’t swallow.

He simply picks her up and tosses her onto the bed, pulling her jeans and panties down and off one leg to expose her dripping pussy. He lifts her hips and spreads her open, running a finger over her clit before spitting his own cum into her.

It’s such a sight, she gasps at the feeling. It’s so hot and wet and then he’s pushing it in with two fingers and fucking them into her. Rubbing her clit at the same time, she cums by surprise, it’s so intense all she can do is grip her breasts and wrap her legs around him for support. She trembles, moaning and whining as he keeps going, curling his fingers just right to rub her g-spot and keep the sensation roaring as long as she lets him.

She lives in the feeling as long as possible before it starts to get to be too much, “okay,” she’s breathless and exhausted, lying there with her eyes closed when he pulls his fingers out of her, falling asleep from how relaxed her whole body is.

—

Spencer was in her bathroom brushing his teeth for the night while she slipped into her PJs.

She felt giddy, like a kid on Christmas Eve, thinking about how exciting tomorrow would be that the prospect of sleeping seemed almost impossible. She couldn’t wait to hold him and snuggle him and feel the way he kisses her shoulder when he rolls over. She loves him so much that sleeping beside him is almost more important to her than anything else they do together.

Because when he sleeps, his guard is down. When he sleeps beside someone, it’s because he’s truly and fully safe with them. He’s told her about all the people he’s slept with, how many of them didn’t stay the night and how many he’s walked out on. She knows he’s not a fan of sleepovers from his childhood and he’s never been in a long-term relationship to even consider sharing a bed with someone before her.

In the beginning, he didn’t want to sleep beside her because he knew he’d catch feelings, she understood and so they bought a pull-out couch for her apartment. He would sleep in her living room and she would lay awake in her bed thinking about how much better it would be if she could cuddle with him until she drifted off to sleep.

She crawls into her bed and watches the bathroom door as she rubs hand lotion into her skin, hoping he actually comes back to her like he promised and doesn’t retreat to the living room. She smiles at him when the door opens and his sight goes right to her wrists as she smoothes the lotion over her skin.

“I forgot to give you your present today,” he gasps and rushes to his suit jacket in the closet.

He comes back to bed with another box, “how much jewellery are you going to buy me?”

“Two more of the gifts are jewellery,” he smiles as he opens the box for her.

It’s a silver bracelet with diamonds and Rubys in a heart shape, like the necklace in pretty woman turned into a bracelet. It’s so pretty she doesn’t know how to react, “you’re crazy, you know that?”

He nods with a smile, “crazy for you.”

“Don’t,” she raises her brows with her pointer finger raised, shushing him. “You know what being all lovey-dovey does to me, and I'm tired.”

It makes him laugh, “I’m just going to leave this on the dresser.”

She takes it from him and stops him from getting up, “no, I’ll just leave it on here, just get into bed, please?” She moves it to her night table and pulls the sheets back so he can get into bed with her. She turns off the lamp on her night table and watches him lay back on his side of the bed.

She snuggles into his chest and places her face in the crook of his neck. Holding him as close as humanly possible, he smells like home and safety.

“I love you so much, Spencer,” she whispers it, feeling very needy and emotional and she has no idea why.

He simply kisses the top of her head while soothing his hand over her back, “I love you just as much, Y/N.”

It was rare for them to use each other's real names, so much of their time together was spent in silence but when it wasn’t, they referred to each other with a long list of different pet names. It made it less personal, it kept their real lives separate and created a world where they just existed with each other.

A world where he wasn’t Spencer Reid with 3 PH.D.s, a drug problem and a sick mother. When he was with her he was just a guy who liked to explore. He was her buddy who took her to museums and concerts, he was her daddy who held her hand when they walked to the park together to play chess, he was her sweetheart on nights when he cried and needed some love.

Tonight he’s just Spencer.

He’s everything he’s been before and nothing like his old self all at the same time. He’s constantly having a breakthrough, he’s broken through ceilings of grief and trauma, grown past the names he’s been called and adjusted to the fact this is how his life is and he's not as evil as he thinks he is.

He’s happy and content. He’s so much different now than how he was when she met him and while he likes to thank her for that, he always had the power to get here. It was a long road to recovery, he just happened upon her on the path and brought her along for the journey and now she’s never going to leave him.

“Are you crying?” He asks, bringing her back to reality to notice that yes, she is indeed crying.

She nods and sniffles, wiping her tears with his t-shirt. “I’m sorry, I’m just tired.”

“Hey,” he pets her hair and waits for her to look up at him. “What do you say when I apologize for crying?”

“Don’t apologize, your feelings are important to feel so you can move past them,” she whispers the mantra her parents raised her on, something that really helped him.

“I'm not crying because I’m hurting,” she whispers. “I’m crying because you’re not anymore.”

“What?”

She realizes it comes out weird, “I’m proud of you, and I’m happy that I get to love you now.”

“How long have you loved me?” There’s a small sadness in his voice like he wishes he could have moved faster for her.

“Since you told me you’d help me get my book published just for going to museums with you,” she whispers, “because you saw me as talented and worthy of greatness and you wanted to help me succeed instead of wanting to pay me to suck your dick in a more legal way.”

“I was in it for a friend,” he’s said it before, “it was easier to pay someone to hang out with me than stumble across someone who would understand me this well.”

“I can’t imagine you just going to a park and striking up conversations with someone,” she laughs, “I think it was just meant to happen like this.”

He sighs, “I’d do it again.”

“What?” She’s too tired and sad to follow his train of thought.

“I’d go through all the pain and trauma again, exactly the same way if it brings me right back here. Right to you.”

She pulls back from his neck and connects her lips to his faster than ever before, kissing him deeply as she cries again.

“I love you,” she whispers against his lips between kisses, he whispers it right back.

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Sugar daddy fic

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some just wont tag no matter what I do, idk why tho

[4dtk]

have this absolute shameless drabble of sugar daddy gojo that i wrote in between requests. my fingers have never typed so fast im sorry this is literally self-indulgent at this point ARJGJFFJ.

disclaimer i honestly can't see anyone calling gojo daddy but just for this fic..... ill allow it..... and also bc sugar daddy gojo is just always residing in my mind. did you see how he transferred 10 mil to mei mei!!!!! i will never shut the fuck up about that scene. pls spoil me <3

warnings: praise, public sex, sugar daddy/sugar baby relations, breeding kink, pet names

NSFW UNDER THE CUT, MINORS DNI

sugar daddy!gojo pushes you up against the window of the store, visible for everyone to see you getting fucked senseless. in the gucci store four floors up, it could work both ways. fortunate to be so high up, although people would be getting a treat if they happened to look up.

“you know what you’re doing, baby?” he grunts, hips rocking into your soaked pussy as the staff outside try to ignore the lewd noises coming from behind the curtains.

it was supposed to be a simple trip: get a dress for gojo’s event in a few weeks and get out. with a tight arm wrapped around his, you followed him around like a starstruck puppy, the edges of your lips curled up knowing he’d treat you a million times over if you just asked for it.

gojo wasn’t any different, either. sure, he’s had sugar babies in the past, but not quite like you who’s so easy to please and spoil, knowing you could never say no even if your life depended on it. with your desperate listing for the requirement of monetary assistance, gojo couldn’t resist taking up the offer.

he just hadn’t expected you to be so… pliant. you had taken it like a good little bitch, too, moaning out for everyone to hear because you liked it like that.

“you’re taking my cock so well, princess,” gojo muttered out, lips nibbling on your ear as he continued to pound you. his grin that you feel against your skin plagues your mind, wanting nothing more than to see how he enjoys ruining you.

the catchy, upbeat pop song playing above you seemed to provide some rhythm, the sultry lyrics fuelling you further.

"so needy that i had to buy out the whole store for an hour, huh?" the male slows his pace, delivering deep thrusts into your cunt with the precision of an expert.

all you can reply are in little pants, sentences incoherent from how deep his cock is in you.

"i don't even think an hour is enough to satisfy my pretty little girl, isn't that right?" gojo picks up the speed again, and you're brought back to the many times he's fucked over his counter, washing machine. to the times where he's eaten you out on his office table and in his sheets of his king-sized.

and now, you've got another memory locked away for nights full of loneliness and soaked underwear when gojo's just too busy for you.

a tongue to your nipples and a hand to your clit makes you choke out a moan, writhing against the glass just to feel more of gojo, more of his cock and more of his lips on your neck.

you're struggling to keep yourself up, finding the right time in between muffled moans and whimpers to ask for one more wish.

"daddy... p-please, i wanna see your-"

"what, baby? repeat it for me." goddamn, the man had no problem articulating his words, how much had he fucked you already?

clearly not enough if you're still able to speak.

"w-wanna see your face when you fuck me deep, daddy!"

your wish is taken away when you're already creaming all over gojo as your hot breath creates fog on the glass in a silent scream.

"aw, you're cumming so hard baby~ you didn't even get to see me yet," he coos, enjoying the gush of your juices that coat his dick and your thighs. everything feels sticky and dirty, but you don't hesitate to beg for one more fuck with your eyes.

gojo catches your drift immediately, hips twitching from the idea of pumping you full of his cum. after all, he hasn't come yet.

he grunts at the time with a quick glance to the clock above your head. without wasting any more time, he flips you over, the restraint to cum slowly reaching its limit with your lolling tongue and fucked-out face.

the male doesn't bother to hide the deep groan that rips from his throat when he drags his dick along your folds, strings of both your juices stretching out in a way that hypnotises gojo.

"n-need your cock, daddy! please!" you whine, grinding your hips against the tip to make sure gojo knows of your desperation. that he's the only one to fuck you so good that no one else can satisfy you.

he smiles knowingly before he sinks into you.

gojo knows that he's the only one that can make you feel this way as he picks up the tempo, hitting spots in you that you didn't know was physically possible.

gojo knows that he's the only one you call daddy shamelessly as he writes off his card to help you in your student debts and the sparkly dress you've been eyeing.

he could throw you away the second you're done with university, the second the media's off his ass about his love life but, the sweet, sweet moans spilling from your lips pull him back in every single time, eager to hear it for as long as your bank's empty and his is piled up with money.

"more! satoru, more, fuuuck..." you groan, shying away from the striking blues of his eyes the more he drinks in your current state.

he's barely holding on, not even minding the first name you called him. the short skirt he'd given you flipped up makes him go crazy, your panties moved to the side to receive the dressing room quickie you always wanted.

"you're so de..eep daddy! i need all your c-cum please...!" it's a mix between a whimper and a whine.

"yeah? 'course i am, baby. your pussy is sucking me in all the w-way," gojo's hips stutters at how you squirm in his tight grasp, locking eyes with him as yours fill with want. your pussy is throbbing, stretched out so much that you don't register the thumb playing with your clit.

"s' too much...! s' too much, d-daddy!"

"you're a good girl, aren't you?" the way you nod is pathetic, eyebrows knitted from being stuffed so full.

"pretty little thing- fuuck..." gojo's losing control himself, the way his balls slaps against your cunt resonates around the small space and nothing feels better than being inches deep in you.

you're a babbling mess by then, unable to even scream out as you cream his cock. with head thrown back, you're left frozen for a second as the orgasm washes over you and a violent shudders goes through your thighs.

"daddy has so much, s-shit- cum for you, doll," it isn't long before the other comes undone, a groan escaping his lips before he shoots his load deep into you.

your pussy is stained white from all the cum he's giving you, gasping from how much gojo is leaking into you.

"thank y-you, satoru..." you trembling has affected your voice, too, burying your head into gojo's neck while your body shivers from sensitivity.

"take all of it, baby," gojo whispers, the hand near your middle moves instantly to finger his cum back into you, fixing back your underwear over your pussy.

a cheeky giggle leaves your mouth as you untangle yourself from the embrace, welcoming a kiss from the man as he slowly begins to clean up himself.

"have you chosen a dress yet, sir?"

gojo's smile is mischievous, not missing the way your face flushes at having to face the embarrassed staff outside.

"we'll take everything, thanks," his eyes never leave you as he helps you off the changing room chair, tugging your body flush to his before leaving you with one more hungry kiss.

"you did so well for daddy, doll. i may just have to treat you tonight since you have a day off university tomorrow..."

even if it wasn't in the contract, gojo loved to spoil you, admiring your mettle when it comes to material items. although...

"you know what i mean," it's enchanting, the way his voice travels like silk, "i'll call in sick for work tomorrow, yeah?"

your mind goes to mush at what tonight might entail, losing all train of coherence when his hushed whisper of my baby's so cute reaches your ear.

in a second you're out of there, hand twined with his while you remain giddy with the thought of getting used by gojo until you reach your limit.

[dreamrecorder]

Ok so- idk if you’ve seen demon slayer;; but there’s this episode (it was during the spider fambam arc) aNywaYs- so like. Rui yeets ties* (i guess-) Nezuko like. Up in the air. With his weird spider thread jazz— and like. It’s sHarP weird spider thread jazz— so she’s like. Yknow. Being sliced and diced with string— but it kindaaa reminds me of like. Xiao. And his like.... weird... sad.... uh. Karma. Thing. Like y’know where he’s like hanging from his arms- red stuff. Yeah. So like. Now for the actual request

Xiao’s s/o (female if you don’t mind;;) gets kidnapped by like— the fatui or smth. And they tie her up like Nezuko :D to be like “lol haha Xiao be all like-” and she’s just. Like. Dying. Slowly. Dripping b l o o d and yknow. All the tea. And Xiao comes to rescue her— and he’s like 0-0 “wait...” and he realizes that’s like- exactly what happens to him- and so. He beats the fatui’s butts saves his s/o, anddddd she like.

Idk. This is where I need your angst expertise ❤️ like- she could d i e. In his arms. And poor Xiao would be so scarred omg poor thing- BUT THE ANGST- but at the same time;;;; the f l u f f of him being able to save her just in time and she was like fighting for him the whole time or whatever and ended up needing him to save her anyways- and then Xiao feeding her almond tofu until she gets better ❤️❤️❤️

IM SORRY THAT WAS SO LONG- im probably going crazy from lack of sleep from reading fics for too long sndndnsnsj

But if you do this,,, BLESS YOUR SOUL I HOPE TO EITHER BALL MY EYES OUT OR SQUEAL FROM THE WHOLESOMENESS-

Anyways.... thank you! Have a stellar day~ ✨❤️

The heart yearns and the wind heard

lmao this ask is so adorable i hope you’d enjoy this ksks

anyway, full Angst train up ahead but there are moments of Fluff too. There are mentions of blood and violence if those are not your thing- dont worry guys, this goes with a happy ending cos you and Xiao deserve one~ on a final note- non canon compliant and suuuuuuper long- like- legit this is very long

The Yaksha sighs.

He’s here again. His mind and heart has returned his being into this crimson world his demons have created within him.

He feels it. He feels the corruption binding him tighter again for every death he brings by his tainted hands.

He looks at his bindings. And ever so slowly, the red and black coiling around his person will eventually reach his heart.

One day, he thinks, all this crimson and black in this world will swallow him whole and he will see the light no more.

Xiao sighs again.

This is his karmic debt.

~

The moment you stepped foot within Wangshu Inn, you knew he was in his prison again. After giving a quick greeting to the inn keeper, you hastily went to Xiao’s room. The closer you got, the heavier the atmosphere became.

You reached his door and knocked softly. As expected, no reply as he continues to struggle to take back his control over himself. Without hesitation, you stepped in. To anyone else, they would have instantly met his spear at their throats, but with you, this doesn’t happen. Instead, you see him crouched on the wooden floor with a hand on his chest. His knuckles were white and his breathing was ragged. His amber eyes- lost. Observing his form, yes… his moments of corruption are becoming progressively worse.

With swift steps of familiarity to this routine, you went to him and grasped his shoulders.

“Xiao, it’s me…” You whispered with clarity. And oh- how your voice brought a wave of comfort to his soul.

“N-name…” His voice cracked, but him calling to you is always a good sign.

You gave him a small smile and proceeded to grasp his hands together with yours. After which, you then leaned your forehead to his to chant your prayers. As your prayers progressed, slowly but surely, the corruption begins to fade along with the black mist that covered him. However, you took note how this ritual took longer than the last.

Once everything is done, Xiao just slumped onto your shoulders, still breathing deeply. “How are you feeling?” It was a useless question you asked every time this happens, but you always, always, have to make sure.

Usually, he would mutter a small ‘fine,’ but now- words seemed to have left his mind and all he could muster was an almost-unnoticeable shrug.

Truth be told- his response disheartened you, but you did not show it. Instead, you opted to simply encase him in your arms and caress his hair. After all, these are just one of the few, rare moments Xiao would leave himself into your care. Xiao is aware, himself, that his state has been becoming worse and worse. And you both know, that a day would come when he would just attack anyone- friend or foe- without a trace of hesitation. So, just this time- he speaks his feelings.

“Name?”

You answered immediately with a questioning hum.

“What would you do… when I finally lose control over myself?”

It was very subtle, but he felt how your hand stopped caressing his hair for a second, then proceeded to the previous task at hand again. In all honestly, you can never find yourself having an answer to that question. “And why would I ever let that happen to you?” You questioned back, fully aware that you were dodging his question.

Silence surrounded the two of you, unsure on what to do with the sudden heavier atmosphere.

Not wanting to face the cruelty of the world yet, Xiao simply buried himself on the crook of your neck even more. And despite the ghostly sensation of his lips on your skin, you could feel him mouth the words ‘I love you.’

“As long as I’m here,” you whispered, “nothing can hurt you.” And that was the most beautiful lie that the Yaksha has heard, but he was willing to believe all the same.

~

When word about Fatui diplomats starting a bank reached you, there was a nagging feeling in your head that trouble would bring itself present anytime soon. It was like an itch that wouldn’t get away. And the only way to have that itch gone is to scratch it.

“You are absolutely a fool.” Xiao stated darkly with crossed arms, for once disagreeing with the plans of his master.

“We can never know what their intentions are unless we let them start their bank, no?” Zhongli said as he gazed at the marsh spread beneath him.

The Yaksha only scoffed but said no more.

Building up your courage, you deemed it was your turn to voice out your thoughts, “Um… Rex Lapis, I see your point, but wouldn’t it be best to resolve the problem before it persists into something larger? We all know- All of Teyvat knows, that the Fatui are not to be trusted.”

Your archon offered you a kind smile, “I understand your worries, Name. However, as of the moment, they have not presented themselves as such. If they truly are our enemies, then it would be beneficial for us to know their intentions.”

You frowned deeply at his statement. Seeing you do so, somehow, your archon immediately identified your main concern.

“Is this about the Tianquan assigning you to be her representative for the Fatui?”

The moment those words left his mouth, a growl tore from Xiao’s throat, but he held his tongue.

“Did Ganyu tell you?”

The Archon nodded and you sighed.

“I volunteered, actually.”

And at that point, Xiao vanished into thin hair, but you could still his sense his presence around.

“May I know why?” Zhongli questioned gently.

For a moment, you struggled for words. You didn’t know how to describe this ‘itch’ to him. “At first, it was supposed to be Ganyu, since in the Tianquan’s eyes- Ganyu is an adeptus and she does not know that I am, too. Perhaps she didn’t want to put me in harm’s way, a ‘visionless human’ at the side of a harbinger. After some convincing to Ningguang for my volunteering, I spoke to Ganyu next.

“The adepti are divine beings that walk here in Liyue. I had this feeling that putting a divine next to a power-hungry harbinger would become an issue. I told Ganyu that, since I looked ‘harmless’ and ‘ordinary,’ the harbinger’s interest about the divine would never surface.”

A stretch of silence wrapped around them as Zhongli pondered over your words. “Perhaps, are you also planning to dig out the truth of their arrival?”

You nodded, “I knew you would allow them to stay, so I just took it upon myself to unfurl their secrets.”

“Hmmm… I grant you permission on doing this. However, should trouble arise, do not hesitate to tell us.”

~

The glare pointed at you was strong. Even without him saying a single word, you could hear his phantom voice in your head speak with such coldness, What are you thinking?

You simply gave him a reassuring smile, “I’ll be fine, Xiao. I may be a human in mortal eyes, but please do remember that I am also an adeptus, no matter how weak I am.”

Xiao releases a huff, but still sits by your side at the floor of the balcony, letting the moon kiss his skin. “You’re not weak.” He mumbled as he snaked his hand to yours.

To him, you will never be weak. In fact, you were the strongest being he has ever laid his eyes on. Not physically, no. It was you mental and emotional fortitude. Back during the Archon War, he always admired how you kept your head held up high no matter the suffering you have experienced. No matter how much death surrounded you, you still fought. And that strength made you a survivor. During the war, you never failed to help the wounded. Even when someone dies under your care, you held strong for the departed and for those who are left behind. You were a pillar of hope.

He brings your hand to his lips and kisses every knuckle “… Just be careful. If ever you are in trouble do not-“

“Hesitate to call your name.” You finished, beaming at his words.

~

As someone who used to be a healer and a doctor, you were quite familiar with several mild skin diseases that mortals can suffer from.

If there is an itch, you do not scratch it- for you will only aggravate the area even more.

Now that you’re working alongside the Fatui as the Tianquan’s representative, the itch you kept feeling was only irritated more. Especially whenever you spoke with the Harbinger who goes by the name Childe. And since your work requires you to cooperate with him, you also don’t miss the chance to discover what he hides, should the opportunity presents itself.

Childe… his azure eyes certainly have their… charm to those unaware. However, you knew better. You know he’s capable of drowning you just by his eyes. While he may be a cheerful man, his eyes lack the lustre of joy. The eyes are the windows of the soul, yes? If so, all you see is an unending ocean that you do not want to swim in. The surface may be calm, but the deep is relentless. However, duty bound you are- deep within the ocean, you shall find the secrets the Fatui hides.

Again, another scratch to the itch, but it only irritates you more.

~ 

The news of Rex Lapis’s death became the catalyst of you confronting the Harbinger. From Yujeng Terrace all the way to Northland Bank, you ran (with Ningguang’s permission of course). Before you can even open the door to his office, something caught your eye.

It’s faint, but you’re an adeptus. You sensed elemental traces, just smack bang at the middle of the door. You carefully scrutinized the tracings, and fortunately you knew Snezhnayan script. And what you read only made your heart sink.

It’s ready.

With the adeptal arts, you managed to uncover the origins of these elemental tracings.

Scratch.

Without hesitation, you followed these tracings until it led you into some ruins.

Scratch.

Following the tracings further, you find yourself in a dimly lit room. Wary, you summoned your weapon imbued with your element.

Scratch.

Searching the room, you came across several antique boxes. You opened them.

Scratch.

What you saw were familiar. Too familiar. Dimming the room more with your element, you find more Sigils of Permission hanging on the walls and on the ceilings. The energy within them were faint, but with enough numbers, it’s enough to kill a-

“Well, well well, I thought you’d be there mourning for your Archon. But here you are, snooping around someone else’s research material.”

The sound of his voice made you sharply turn your head to him, your stance now more offensive. “What are you planning?” You bit coldly.

The Harbinger hummed a small tune, “Nothing much… But! If you’re really curious, I guess I could tell you.” He hummed some more but you knew he’s not finished. Once he finished his tune, he grinned to you menacingly and the depths in his eyes became even deeper and darker, “After all, I won’t let you leave this place with you knowing my secret~”

~

There was this one time, Xiao struggled against himself so much, he scratched himself red so that he could anchor himself back to the real world. You remembered how much you cried as he slept in your arms. You never wanted to see him do that again. Seeing him hurt himself also hurt you, too. It was like a stab in the heart, then a twist, and twist some more. A slap in the reality that you might lose him one day.

As he slept, you solemnly observed the wounds he sustained himself to. They were angry red, just like blood.

Now, you, yourself scratched that itch in your head too much into a wound for blood to seep through. You scratched too much and now you have to bleed from it.

~

You were slipping in and out of consciousness. Sleep was tempting you more and more but you know you have to wake up. You were aware that this is going on for days.

Everything hurts. You remembered how his blades, imbued with the Sigils, weakened you thoroughly. Every slash he brought to your body just drained the energy away from you. But still you had to do something.

He wanted an adeptus- he wanted an adeptus in order for the Sigils to grow stronger both in number and in power.

Now here you are, bound by chains and suspended at the middle of this empty room. These chains were adorned by talismans that drained away your energy. You were bleeding from your wounds of your previous battle.

Drip. Drip. Drip goes the blood and pools on the ground underneath you. The ground, you barely noticed, was lined by Liyuean script which enacts the ritual of the Sigils draining your divine power from your blood.

To the eyes of a sadist- you were a picture perfect in a canvas. A dark room lined by the damned Sigils, glowing an eerie gold. Then there's you with your bloodied clothes and chains. The red pool underneath was casting a red glow on your way, giving you a red shade to your pale skin.

Everything hurts-

And everything was driving you mad.

You can also feel the Overlord of the Vortex feed from your energy through the Sigils. You sensed his lust for power and revenge. You felt his anger and the corruption within him. You felt his hatred and his want to bring death. For days that felt like years, you’ve been battling against that very same god in your head. This battle was not something you shall not lose to and failure is not an option. If you fail here, then Liyue will fall. 

This god- he was driving you mad slowly.

If ever you are in trouble, do not hesitate to call my-

You shut the thought from your head. You are not going to call him. You will not speak of him. You will not think of him. You will not call him. Not to this place where his corruption will grow. No. You Will Not Call Him.

If it means that me not calling you will keep you safe from the corrupted remnant of a god- so be it. 

Please

However, no matter how much you denied yourself to call his name, no matter how much your heart yearns to be with him- the wind does not ignore the pained sob that left your lips.

~

Ever since the news of Rex Lapis's death and the visit of the Traveler with a Sigil in his hand- the corruption within him just bloomed into something feral.

The Sigil- there was something wrong about it but Xiao doesn't know what is it that is wrong. Then there's you- where are you? Surely with the news of their Archon's death- it would send you to bring forth a meeting for the adepti to talk this over. But now- for days- you remain not by his side.

With you missing- the demons inside him are slowly taking control over him, taking advantage of his vulnerability for you. For each passing day, it was slow torture for him- The worry bubbling in him was consuming him. He glared at the Sigil between his fingers and not failing to notice how his dark aura covers him once more. 

“Traveler,” Xiao called sharply, “What is it you intend to do next?” 

To any mere mortal, the look his eyes held were enough to strike fear, but the Traveler stealed themselves- meeting the adeptus’s gaze with an equally serious calm. “I have my suspicions on a certain harbinger and I-”

“Where?” The Yaksha growled.

“In the Golden House.”

Without a word nor warning, Xiao placed a hand on the Traveler’s shoulder and teleported them to the place where the Exuvia is hidden.

To the Traveler, everything happened so quickly as one event led to another. One moment, they were standing among unconscious bodies of the Millelith then the next thing they knew a corrupted and demonic gust of wind flew them away to the side. Regaining back their vision, they could see Alatus’s spear now at Tartaglia’s barrier made of Sigils. 

Alatus narrowed his eyes at the floating talismans and began to calculate the flow of this incoming battle with precision and accuracy despite his losing control over himself. 

It was a tense minute of sizing each other up, but eventually, Tartaglia has broken the silence with his annoying innocent voice. 

“Who would have thought that I’d have the honor of fighting another adeptus of Liyue?” 

The question immediately fed the corruption within him, the dark aura exploding at it. He knew that he should not believe in the Harbinger’s words so easily, but the glint in the latter’s eyes held truth. You could be out there, hurting, scared, alone. You could be out there, bleeding out. You could be out there dyi-

His aura exploded once more at the thoughts spreading in his being. With a burst of unspeakable power, Alatus lifted his weapon and pierced the barrier once more, this time breaking it without failure. At the threat, Tartaglia backed away as he donned his mask.

In a similar fashion, Alatus, too donned his mask. “I will ask you once,” the Conqueror of Demons spoke with a deathly calm, “Where is she?”

~

He should have killed him then and there. But the call of the Overlord of the Vortex must not be ignored as it threatens Liyue. 

In the small opportunity of escape, Childe took it. But he was weak and injured as Alatus swiftly threw his spear to block his way and teleported right in front of him. In a show of power, the Conqueror of Demons lifted the mortal by the neck.

“I will ask you again, where is she?”

In fear, Childe told him everything and at his every word, Xiao listened carefully- never speaking once. But the anger within his heart, it boils- it rages. His amber eyes bored into Childe’s soul- thinking what he should do to this mortal. Oh how killing him would be so nice. However, when the Yaksha’s gaze landed on the regal form of the Exuvia, he merely threw the mortal in its way.

“Killing you would have been easier. However, the crimes you have presented against Liyue are not mine for me to judge.

I leave the Harbinger to you... Rex Lapis.”

Once out of the Golden House, the Overlord roared once more, shaking the lands of the nation. However, along with it, he heard the faintest of voices. I’m so sorry... I couldn’t hold him back anymore. 

Only then did the demons in his heart freely took control of him. Just like the stories of old, where the Yaksha walks, death follows. But they were no stories. In his way towards the ruins where you were held captive, every step he took brought carnage and even more death and blood to taint his hands. No Fatui will leave this place alive. The very being of destruction ended many lives. Each death, the demons were growing stronger.

All he wanted now was to kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill killkillkill killkill kill killkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkill

Then seeing you suspended in the ceiling and bound by chains. Blood was painted on your lifeless skin. Wounds were littered and bruises were blooming on your form. But most of all, your eyes. What were once full of life and hope- now empty and blank. His demons quieted down.

Broken. You were like a broken porcelain doll.

“N-name...” His voice cracked, not believing it all.

With haste, he quickly broke your binds and caught you in his arms. he was fast to check for your pulse and your breathing. And thank the Archons, you were breathing but barely. You were now walking the line between life and death. With all his might yet a gentle caress, he hugged you for dear life. “Name... It’s me...”

But still, your eyes still held no recognition and it shattered his heart to pieces. With further inspection, he sensed the presence within you. A corruption. A certain evil. 

“Name, stay with me please,” Xiao begged with desperation as he fought back tears. “It’s me who supposed to be the corrupted one between us, not you... I’m not allowing you to leave me, you hear me-”

With a ritual of the adeptal arts, he started purging and purifying the evil left by the god who fed from you. He is not letting you stay alone in your prison, not for a second longer. 

Xiao prays and he never prayed before. Even to his master. But just this once, He prays with desperation. You are the light in his darkness. You are the moon in his night. 

The ritual was a delicate process. For every word he spoke, he was rewarded by your screams of pain and the writhing of your fragile body. He wanted to stop, but he can’t. He had to physically restrain you from trying to escape from his embrace and from hurting yourself. And for every cry you released, Xiao merely shuts his eyes clos just for him not to see your pained eyes. Every now and then, Xiao speaks gentle apologies and words of encouragement for you. You were coming back. But still, the evil persists.

You writhed and scratched against him, until you were creating more wounds for blood to seep through. When it came to a point, you began pleading and begging for him to stop, that was when Xiao had shed a tear. So he continues the ritual, his prayers, and his apologies. They were arriving to a point where the ritual is reaching its conclusion but your screams only grew louder.

Please, just a little more...

Please, just stop...

Please...

The corruption disintegrated away from you in a forceful release of dark energy. He was breathing deeply, attempting to calm his loud heart. When he placed his gaze on you, you were breathing rapidly and your eyes were searching blindly and your hands were desperately holding onto him.

“X-Xiao...” You whispered, “Where am I? Where are you?”

With a sigh of relief, the Yaksha hugged you again closer and his forehead to yours, fearing you would go away again. The action made you lift your hands to his face, still searching blindly.

“I’m here, Name... I’m here.” At his voice, the dam in your eyes broke as you cried silently. Xiao was not adept in emotions, but for you, he will face them gladly. He lets you cry as he gives you soft whispers of assurance, safety, love, and promises. However, you were not crying because of what had happened to you. You were crying for him. After experiencing such corruption-

You sobbed some more- you were this close to him losing you and you could not bring yourself to imagine if your roles were reversed.

“P-please,” you said with a broken voice, “please don’t go to the place where I can’t follow...’

The words, at first puzzled him, but after a few moments, he realized and once more it broke his heart. Bringing you closer, Xiao let loose the tears he was holding back. With a gentleness unexpected of the Conqueror, he simply littered your face with kisses. “I promise if only you would do the same.”

With your smile that he loved dearly for so long you too spoke your promise, “I do.” They were simply two words, but the comfort they bring into the Yaksha’s heart was in volumes.

After that, you shared a few tender moments in each other’s arms. Simply relishing the feeling of their familiar warmth. A little later, Xiao spoke, “Would you like to eat some Almond Tofu once we get home?”

The question made you giggle at his innocence, so you agreed. Despite you needing physical medical attention. But Almond Tofu with him? Yes, you two definitely need some emotional healing.

A/N: fINALLY dONE lmao this was supposed to be short but angst really makes me want to write longer everytime haha~ anyway this request really made me ponder bout genshin stuff with all the corruption this and corruption that but then a question popped up like-

how did childe replicate the sigil of permission? since sigils are imbued with divine energy, i just thought how did this guy accumulate so much sigils to the point of freeing Osial- a god!!! soooo i just played with the idea for a bit then figured out maybe these pieces of paper get the divine energy from a divine source right? and the adepti are divine beings of liyue and another thing- you guys might have noticed the change of names in some scenes- i dont know but i think somehow different names represents different side of a person like- we have childe the cheerful harbinger then tartaglia the power hungry harbinger- there’s Alatus who’s calculating and cold, there’s the Conqueror of Demons who’s ruthless and unforgiving, then Xiao who is calm and humane- lastlyyyyy i might post this in ao3 ksks

[danses-with-dogmeat]

a romanced hancock reacting to sole wanting him to be a father figure in synth shaun's life?

Thank you so much for the ask anon!

So, I couldn't decide if I wanted to do more of a drabble or headcanons, so I just did both! I thought this prompt was really sweet, I hope you enjoy!

You stood in your shared room at the top of the Old State House, before the man in the red coat, the man you loved, awaiting his answer to your proposal. Having just asked him the question that had been patiently waiting at the back of your mind since the day that Shaun had come back into your life.

"Oh sunshine..." Hancock's gravelly voice broke the silence that had followed your question, "I'm beyond flattered that'd you'd ask that. I mean, I love that kid to pieces, but... you really think a ghoulified, blood-soaked, mega-junkie like me is the best fit for the kid to look up to?" The ghoul gave a soft chuckle, but Sole could see his brow furrowed slightly with uncertainty. A rare sight, given his usual gusto.

"Hancock," you said, in an attempt to reassure him, "you're a hell of a lot more than that. And Shaun is crazy about you, the reason I brought this up now was because he asked me when he could start calling you 'dad'." Hancock's dark eyes widened at your words and it took him a moment to answer.

"He- he did? Man... It's not too often I find myself at a loss for words but, I mean, me, a dad? I never thought that would've been possible, given my eh... present condition," He brought his hands up to gesture at his whole body. Your eyes never left his, the only change in your expression being a small smile, encouraging him to respond to your earlier question. Hancock sighed, taking a few steps towards you.

"So I suppose the thing I'm trying to say here is, I'm not sure I'm qualified for the position you're offering me." Your shoulders slumped at his words, you couldn't help but think he'd have been more receptive to the idea of being Shaun's new father. He may not be perfect, but he's one hell of an upgrade from the synth child's last "father."

"Look sunshine," Hancock decided to break the silence again, noticing your disappointed expression, "you sure you want this? I don't really tend to think of myself as 'daddy material'." You cocked an eyebrow at him, despite the weight of the conversation, you found yourself unable to keep a suggestive smile from spreading across your lips at his choice of words.

"Hey now, aren't you supposed to be the responsible one in this outfit?" Hancock quipped, his crooked smile imitating your own as he took another step closer. Before he could reach for you, you brought your hands up and grabbed ahold of his shoulders, trying to regain control of the conversation.

"Look, John, I know you don't always see it this way," you looked him in the eye, willing your next words to sink in, "but you really are an outstanding role model. I mean, look at all you've done for the people of Goodneighbor, and the Commonwealth. You're out there actively trying to make this wasteland a better place, lending a hand to the little guy and doing all you can to take down the tyrants. You're a skilled leader who genuinely cares about the people you're responsible for, you're fiercely protective of the ones you love, and of the ideals that you support. You're a good man, John. And I couldn't think of anyone better for Shaun to call 'dad'."

"Shit sweetheart, you really know how to make a ghoul blush. Tell me, how did I ever get so lucky to have you in my life?" He whispered softly, shaking his head slightly as he looked deep into your eyes. You couldn't help but blush at his comment and at his unrelenting smoky gaze, you looked down to break the tension for a moment.

"We're talking about you here, John, remember? So..." you trailed off, hoping to finally get a straight answer from him.

"So?" He asked.

"So, what do you say? You gonna make me ask you again, or what?"

"Look," he reached a ruined hand out to lightly take your own, his thumb rubbing soothingly over your knuckles, "you and that kid are the most important thing I've got going on in my life, and if you really want me around, then I'm not goin' anywhere. And for the first time in my life, I fucking mean it." He grasped your hand tightly, before you gently removed it from his own, instead bringing your arms up to pull him into a tight embrace, which Hancock happily leaned into, nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck.

"Just one thing..." you said, finally pulling away, "we might have to work on that foul mouth of yours."

"Don't worry sweetheart, if we're doing this thing, we're gonna do it right. I'll teach the kid all he needs to know. The real creative foul language, how to cure a hangover, where to get the best chems. All that important shit." You rolled your eyes playfully, mirth shining behind your dilated pupils as you stared into the eyes of your son's new father.

"Now, about that foul mouth of mine..." his hand slunk around your waist and pulled you into him as a mischievous grin spread across his lips a moment before they met yours.

And now, a few headcanons, for your consideration:

- After agreeing to act as Shaun's father, Hancock would seriously clean up his act. He may occasionally still take chems and drink (cuz, let's face it, he's still Hancock, and quitting cold turkey is hardly an option) but much less than he used to, and never around Shaun. This is only partly because he doesn't want to bring Shaun into that part of his life, but also it has a lot to do with his decreasing dependency on self-medicating. Being genuinely happy with his family, he doesn't feel as though he needs to escape.

- He would continue to be mayor of Goodneighbor, but would leave many of the day-to-day decisions to a committee (composed of Daisy, Fahrenheit, Dr. Amari, and an elected security guard). While Hancock, Sole and Shaun would live at another (more kid-friendly) settlement of Sole's choice.

- Hancock would actually excel at teaching Shaun. Whether it would be a shooting lesson, showing Shaun how to cook, teaching him to fish, or telling him about pre-war history (usually with a good amount of focus on the American revolution given his own fascination with it), even if Hancock wasn't extraordinarily knowledgeable, he would do his absolute best at helping Shaun get some form of an education.

- Once Sole was able to convince Hancock that Shaun liked his voice, rough as it may be, he would love to do bedtime stories. Even though Shaun is probably just getting old enough to outgrow them, he has a particularly hard time getting to sleep, and he soon finds that the ghoul's low, calm voice is a surefire way to drift off when the sun goes down.

- Hancock would be one of those parents that always looks like they know what they're doing, he would be patient during Shaun's tantrums, would be very focused on communication, and would have a nice blend of being protective of Shaun, but not to the point that it would be stifling. That being said, he would remain awfully uncertain and need constant reassurance from Sole, seeking their advice on almost everything to do with Shaun. Inside, he would have trouble realizing he's as good of a father figure to Shaun as everyone says he is. However, outwardly, he would be as confident as ever. Even fooling Nick into believing that he was completely at ease in the role of being Shaun's dad.

- He'd be killer at all of the popular kid games, playing hide and seek with Shaun when they visited the Old State House, or playing tag back in sanctuary, or even imagination games where he had to be the deathclaw and Shaun got to be Grognak the barbarian (do deathclaws exist in the Grognak universe? It doesn't matter, they do to Shaun). Hancock normally wouldn't let anyone win, he believes in playing fair, but occasionally for Shaun, he'd hide in the obvious places, or trip when running away in tag, or let it slide that Shaun says Grognak is strong enough to punch a deathclaw's head clean off in one hit. (Man, if only he could do that.)

- If other kids were bullying Shaun, Hancock would be the type of parent to bring the bully aside and have a frighteningly quiet conversation. And by conversation, I mean an in-depth description of what Hancock will do to the kid if he's mean to Shaun again. (Think of that scene at the beginning of the first Jurassic Park movie where the main character is describing to a kid how a velociraptor guts its prey and eats it alive. That's Hancock. Both the man, and probably the velociraptor too if the bully doesn't heed his warning.) Hancock wouldn't necessarily kill the kid for being mean to Shaun, but it's because he wouldn't have to, after his 'discussion' with the kid, he'll never even look at Shaun the wrong way again. Thankfully, the 'discussion' is all Hancock's ever had to do when kiddos are involved.

[beelspillowpet]

Greedy & Full - Mammon x Fem!MC

I’m back with another NSFW fic~ This time of the Great Mammon  ♡

Reader/MC is female!

Content warning!! Something of a master kink, a bit of spanking, lil bit of dirty talk, tad bit overstim

It was fairly easy talking Mammon into bed. All you had to do was wear his clothing. His jacket, which was a size or two bigger than your own. Something about the fact that his pants wouldn’t fit on you turned him on. Your full, wide hips are unable to fit into his pants. Your breasts may not have been massive, but they did ride up his shirt on you quite a bit. You got him hot and bothered and he couldn’t articulate why.

“Get out of my damn fit, human!” He scowled, chasing you up the steps. You duck from his grasp, laughing and taunting him the whole time. You were about to make fun of his lack of effort, he should have caught you by now.

However, he grabbed a fistful of his jacket and pulled you backwards. “Alright you, outta my clothes now!” He huffed.

“Mammychan…” you purred deviously. “You want me out of all these clothes for you, huh?”

What came from Mammon was nothing short of a malfunction. He sputtered and turned his nose upward. “Hmph! More like you should be eager to get out of yours! I bet you’re dyin’ for the great Mammon to admire your figure.” His hands slipped down to your waist, his fingers curling in the belt loops of the too- tight pants. “Fuck. You’re stretching them out, aren’t you?”

You roll your hips into his touch, grinning. “Mm, I might have torn them up already? Oops~... I guess you might have to punish me.”

“Fuck… you want me to torture ya’ babe? Make you ride my cock until you’re in tears? Spank that fat ass until it’s red and stinging?” One hand comes up, and he’s delicately brushing hair out of your face. “Drive me crazy. Wanna fuck you so deep. Look at ya’ wearing my clothes and shit… looks so cute on ya’ babe.” He finished his compliment with a harsh slap on your ass. The force of it alone made you arch forward, grinding against the bulge in his underwear.

His breath hitched at the friction, and he was tempted to spank you again, but he didn’t want an accident in his own underwear. You would never let him live it down if that was all it took. So he pushed you away a bit, then led you down the steps. He held your hand firmly, and pulled you close once you reached his bed. He sat down slowly, and smirked at you.

“Get out of those clothes. We can assess the damage and you can pay up right now if you… apologize properly.” He winked, his tongue snaking out and dancing across his upper lip seductively.

As if possessed, you slowly began to remove the jacket, tossing it on to the bed. When you reached for the shirt, he stopped you. “Slowly, sweetheart. I wanna take it in. Pretend you're my personal stripper, giving me a show.”

You blush, not knowing how to take it slowly like that. You weren’t shy by all means, but pretending to be a stripper was still out of your league. You wanted him, and you wanted him to want you too. So you tried your best, making a show of your body by putting emphasis in pulling up the shirt. Once you managed to get out of it, you tossed it away onto the floor with finesse. He whistled under his breath to show approval.

Next came the pants, which were much less a show of your sexy side, and more like you wiggling out of them. Like a dancing worm at the end of a string. You at least turned around so he could watch your ass and thighs jiggle, and it saved you from having to look him in the eyes during this embarrassment. Once you managed to kick off the pants, next came for the bra. You turned around, and reached behind you. Unhooking the bra, you lifted it slowly, until it was just barely covering your areola before stopping. Mammon looked like he was going to fly off the bed right then and there.

“Fuck, don’t make me wait.” He groaned, palming himself through his shorts.

“Oh? I thought you wanted me to make a show of it?” You shoot back immediately. Mammon groaned again, adjusting on the bed to get comfortable. You spread your legs a bit and roll your hips seductively, pulling the bra up with the rest of your breasts, until the flop down with a delicious slap! Against your chest. His breath stutters and he stares. You were unimaginably beautiful, and you were going to be chanting his name like it was a prayer before long.

Once the bra was off and again tossed to the side, you spun back around and leaned against his dresser. You shook your ass, snaking a hand down the front and between your legs. “Mammon,” you pant hotly. “You want it? What’s right here?” You pat your panty-covered pussy, twitching at the pressure. “You want to fuck my pussy? Pump me full of cum?”

“Fuck,” Mammon gasped. “Want to fuck you deep. Little brat. I told you what I want already. You’re almost there…”

“Want the Great Mammon’s cock… stuff me so well. Take them off.” You roll your hips again. “Take them off and fuck me. I’ll be a good girl after I’ve had my fill. I know you want to watch me tremble. As the cum drips down my legs.”

There was something like a low, animalistic growl that came from behind you. And suddenly his body was pressed against yours. “I was gonna spank you for ruining my pants,” he growls. “But now I just want to fuck that tight pussy until you can’t speak. Until you can’t think.” He grinds against you, holding your hips firmly against his.

“Feel that?” He pants. His cock is twitching through his underwear and you moan. It’s hard and warm, even through the cloth keeping it restrained. “That’s a real man. You’re gonna have a real man fucking your brains out. Fuck, are you ready?”

You hum, content with him having his way. You were done teasing him, now you just wanted to listen to him come undone for you. To feel him lose control on your body, to bite, scratch, kiss, and caress you to his greedy hearts content.

The slap that came to your ass startled you. Then feeling the nails dig into your underwear and hearing it be torn off like it was cheap cloth surprised you. He laughed darkly.

“What’s wrong babe? You wear my clothes, I tear yours. You be a fucking brat,” another harsh slap to your ass, “I put you in your place. You thought you had me, didn’t you? Thought you had me whipped but no.” He snarls, his hand coming around to grab you by your face. “You’re mine for the rest of the night. You understand me?”

“Y-yes, Mammy. A-ah-!”

Another harsh slap. This time you jumped a little, the sting feeling too good. “What are you supposed to call me?” He warns.

“M-master. Master Mammon…” you whine.

“Good girl.” He let’s go of your face, and you lower your head on to the dresser. The hand returns to your body, teasing shapes across your pussy. “Fucking wet and all I did was spank you. You like being punished, huh? You love when I give you attention.”

You swallow thickly and turn your head. He’s kicking his underwear off quickly and lining up behind you, his finger swiping between your folds. He slicks himself up the best he can before taking the head of his cock and replacing his fingers. He groans, your wet and scalding hot pussy is inviting him sweetly, but before he thrusts in he has to set down a ground rule. Something to make things interesting.

“If you make so much as a peep,” he hisses into your ear, “I’ll take that as an invitation to go another round. You hear me?”

You lower your hand and huff. “Y-yes, Master.”

With that, he shoves in. All the way in. The usual tightness is replaced with a suffocating constriction, and he chokes on the pleasure. He hunches over you, nails digging into the soft of your hips. He laughs when you cry out, unable to contain yourself from being empty to suddenly very full.

“That’s one,” he counts. “You really are poorly trained. Don’t worry. I’ll train that pathetic human brain, this tight little pussy to behave.” One finger reaches around to cup one of your breasts in his hand and he squeezes, eliciting a soft keen from your throat. “Two!” He laughs again.

You nearly groan from anticipation of more rounds. The fool is so busy counting he hasn’t started mo- ah.

He’s pounding into you now. Knocking the dresser against the wall with each harsh thrust. He has no mercy in his movements, his hips ramming into yours with practiced expertise. He’s taken you in various ways before, in various places. He had to admit this was one of his favorites.

You reached down and rolled your fingers around your clit, struggling with all your might to not make a sound as per his orders. It was getting more and more difficult by the second, hearing how hard he was fucking into you. The sounds of skin slapping harshly against stinging skin, the dresser knocking against the wall, and the carnal desire that was Mammon at the very moment, turning your insides into a humming, buzzing, pulsing mess.

“Fuck yeah,” he moaned, burying his face into the crook of your neck. “Fuck yeah! You like that? Me fucking the shit out of your little pussy? Ooh, fuck!” You were hoping, praying really, that in the midst of all his talking he would either forget his count, or wouldn’t hear you at all. Either way, you took the chance and hissed. It wasn’t much, but you were grateful you didn’t hear him acknowledge it.

He slows for a moment, rolling his hips into yours. The hand on your breast now rests on the flat on your back and he’s smoothing kisses down your back. Sometimes he gets like this, and you weren’t entirely sure why. He’s being rough with your body one second, and the next he’s kissing you, shifting the mood for just a moment. To appreciate you, your brain supplies. You clench up at that realization, and just like that, Master Mammon is back again.

He slams back into you, and you’re surprised at how you didn’t manage to make a noise that time. You’re dangerously close, and he can tell.

“Who owns this pussy?” He asks, fucking into you as if you’re going to be leaving the Devildom tomorrow. You don’t dare answer him. “Who owns this fucking pussy?!” He shouts at you. “Answer me!”

“You!!” You cry out, and suddenly your voice is gone. He’s fucking you through your first orgasm, and seconds later you’re panting, reaching back and squeezing his arm. Pleading for him to stop, but without telling him to, he simply won’t listen. You flop on to the dresser seconds later, silent again as he laughs.

“Four!” He counts. “You thought I didn’t hear you earlier, did you?”

You almost groan. He can be such an insufferable dickhead sometimes. You still loved him, regardless.

His pace becomes uneven, and you can feel him coming close as well. You simply hold on and pray that he’s so tired after that, he pulls out and goes straight to sleep like he sometimes does. But he was still on his first round, and he was the Avatar of Greed.

Once he’s cum inside you for the first time, he pulls out afterwards, admiring the view of your quivering thighs. He waits a moment before you begin to push the cum out of you, oozing down your legs and making a mess on the floor.

“Fuck, c’mere.” He commands. You stand up slowly and waddle towards him. He puts his arms around you, patting the top of your head, before promptly tossing you onto his bed. You barely get a word in before he’s already on top of you again, thrusting away with reckless abandon.

“Master!” You sob. You feel like kicking yourself. You can’t seem to quiet down, no matter what. Everything just felt too good, the force behind Mammon’s thrusts shoved you violently against the bed, rubbing your clit against the soft sheets. You felt a second orgasm coming quickly, and Mammon pulled your head up by your hair.

“Yeah, cum on this cock. Cum on this fucking cock, babe! You fucking love it don’t you? Cum on this fucking cock!”

The overload of sensory was too much, and for a second time that night, you felt a powerful orgasm rip through you. Your eyes nearly rolled back and you gave a low, throaty groan. “So fucking good, Master! So fucking good! Aaah- Mammon! P-please…!”

“Shut the fuck up,” he growls, and immediately you fall silent again. You may have made your pact with him, but nothing has ever changed, it seems. “When I say shut the hell up and take it, that’s what I mean.”

You bury your face into the mattress when he lets go of your hair. Your broken sobs fill his ears and he drinks it up like nectar. A stupid demon is a useful thing to have, but a powerful one, able to serve you your punishment relentlessly was far more enticing that you anticipated. 

[thefanbasewhore]

what am I supposed to do if I can't even trust my own mind?With Mando, maybe he gets injected with something that makes him crazy

Summary: Din is injected with some kind of serum that makes him violent, when he hurts you, he can’t face it, until he comes to a realization.

Warning/Content: Choking, violence.

A/N: This is unedited and I also kinda gave up at the end but none the less hope you enjoy it. It’s a little something while I work on my longer imagines. 

There was no way to prevent the hands that wrapped around your neck squeezing until a large ball forms in the back of your throat. A breath is let out of your nose as a whistle as his hands tighten their grip around your neck squeezing until all blood colors your face. Eyes are stained red, blood vessels pressing against the lenses of pupils, it makes your eyes water, vision blurring as the metal visor begins to disappear from sight. 

“Din.” Is all you can manage to choke out finger nails breaking to skin of his hands as an attempt to injure him, pull him away from you. The man in front of you was no longer Din, just the way his shoulders tense, stance holds you tight against the wall, feet dangle, try to push him away by his thighs but he is too strong. Air failing to contact lungs as wheezing whistled from your lungs. It was so sudden and fast as Din’s hold tightens darkness began to take over but not before he let out a soft sigh. “Din, stop, I can’t breath.”

The visions of men with guns surrounding him began to disappear from his eyes leaving him to the present, it wasn’t a man in his hold, it was you. Just in time his hands releases your throat. He felt his heart thumping in an irregular pattern as he felt he was going to be sick, bile reaching his throat that he quickly swallowed down. “I’m - I’m..”

Before the sentence could even attempt to leave his mouth you fall to the floor on all fours scrambling away from your attacker until you  reached the ladder of the crest, shakily climbing as the door of the cockpit closes and locks. With your heart thumping against your chest, you manage to slowly slid down the door as the sound of Din’s armor pounding against the door rattled your brain. “.. I’m sorry. Fuck I don’t know what happened.”

It wasn’t long before Din’s own body weight slides down on the other side of the door with no reply looking down at his hands that were red and starting to bruise purple. Hands rub over your sore neck, feeling the welts raise up against them, silent tears of fear, trembling chest. 

“I-I was shot with an arrow, It must have had something in it.” Din lets out a soft cry, feeling as if he was suffocating, shaky fingers grasp his helmet pulling it off for his lungs can gasp for air. “I keep seeing this. People attacking me, I thought you were them. I’m supposed to be protecting you not hurting you.”

“I know you didn’t mean to hurt me Din” The sound of your rasphy voice was enough to let tears sting from his own eyes, at this moment he felt unrecognizable. The amour felt heavy, suffocating as his hands pull the pieces of basker off in a hurry. It burned, every time you tried to open your mouth and speak but that didn’t stop you. “It’s okay, it wasn’t you.”

“I shouldn’t have done that, I didn’t mean too.” He admits sniffing as his chest collapses with a soft sob. Fingers fumble with the button, trying to reach him, see him but his fist against the floor as his heart stammers against his chest. 

“No! Stay in your there, I’m obviously not to be trusted, I don’t want you around if it happens again.” It went to deaf ears, fingers press against the data pad disengaging the safety protocols. The last thing you expect is a mess of wavy hair leaning against the platform of the wall, shoulder slumped in his own defeat.

It’s almost instantly your hands cover your eyes as his own roaming over the soft skin of her neck covered in bruises the size of his fingers. He did this, he felt like a monster.

To touch something so beautiful, but destroy it.

“I’m sorry Cyar’ika, I- I didn’t meant to.” He keeps his distance, he doesn’t trust himself, doesn’t trust that he won’t hurt you again. Whatever he had been injected with still burned inside of his veins, slowly creeping up the cape of his neck. 

“Din..” It’s a small warning that you were going to move closer, neck burning as a timid reminder of what he can do.

“Stop.” It’s a rough warning, it echos the small platform with how rushed, how rough the words are. “Go back in the pit, what am I supposed to do if I can’t trust my own mind?” 

“I know you didn’t mean to hurt me..” You mumble, taking an experimental step forward hoping you wouldn’t fall through to the hull. “Close your eyes, It’s just me.. listen to my voice.”

“But I did hurt you!” Din was on his feet in seconds as the yell ripped his throat. “I fucking hurt you and here you are trying to comfort me. What is wrong with you?! You should be far away as possible!”

The words make your mouth close instantly, taking a deep breath as new tears start to form. He was right to some degree, you should be running for the hills, trying to get as far away as possible but instead reaching for his touch.

Din realizes how harsh the words are he reaches over to touch your face, rub the softness of your cheek with his thumb.  “Please go into the pit, just until it’s over.”

It’s the uncertainty that has your bottom lip trembling, knowing he will never forgive himself for this. Smooth fingers burn against the skin his anger kissed, it throbs as you whine. “You didn’t mean to.”

“Go with the kid, I’ll be here.”

Except when you venture out to the hull hours later he is no where to be found, in his stead are a large bunch of flowers, the bouquet filled with an assortment of colors the most beautiful purple you’ve ever seen. There’s a small note, scribbled writing that barely catches your eyes. 

“I’m sorry, I hope these will make up for my absence.”

There’s no explanation, he leaves no trace to why he has left but without a doubt it’s for he doesn’t have to face what’s he’s done to you. It’s days later before he returns but when he does it’s silent.

Your eyes never leave him as he steps into the ramp of the Crest. It’s not that you were angry with him, actually quite the opposite, you were upset that he left, he was a coward that left but little did you know he was using this time to sort these emotions that made him feel crazy. He feels his own heart thump against his chest, there are no words he can use to show his why, to show how he been working through these feelings so instead shaky hands reach up to hold his helmet, slowly lifting it until you’re face to face with him.

Messy dark hair curls in ringlets across his forehead, dark eyes peer with nervousness, facial hair peaks through in patches but is mostly filled in above his lips, speaking of lips they’re so pouty, so kissable. 

“I love you.” The words seem to mean so much more. 

[ultralovedeluxe]

Yandere! Josuke with prompts #5 and #69

Hey everyone! This was requested by @mochimizuki121. I apologize for this taking so long, I’ve never written for Josuke and I think he came out a bit ooc, I hope this came out nicely though. Requests are still open!

‘Just what do you think you’re doing? Put that phone down!’

‘They thought they could tear us apart, so I had to put a stop to them!’

Warnings: 18 year old Josuke, female reader, yandere behaviors, mentions of violence?, non/dub con, nsfw towards the end.

  Cherry blossoms are meant to symbolize good fortune and represent love. Love should be the primary emotion you should feel when under a cherry blossom tree. So when you asked Josuke to meet you under a cherry blossom tree near the school, Josuke was ecstatic. Why else would his lovely, little girlfriend ask him to meet under a cherry blossom tree? To Josuke, these meanings had to be true. He was a firm believer.

 You, however, not so much.

 In fact, cherry blossoms have a double meaning. Cherry blossoms also represent death or the end of something. And sadly, this was the only meaning accurate to you.

 “So [first]-chan, why did you invite me here? Is it something important?” Josuke could hardly contain his excitement, it had to be great. Was he finally going to meet your parents? Were you both going on a date together? Were you finally going to let him-

 “Josuke, I’m glad you came, and yes it is very important..” you said trying not to just yell at your pompadour-haired boyfriend. His puppy-dog expression was starting to get to you, and in all realness, making this a lot harder than it was supposed to be. 

 “So, what is it babe? C’mon you can’t keep me waiting, I want to know!”

 You grit your teeth, god this really is going to be hard. You almost feel nauseous in doing so. You are going to wound his boyish pride so bad right now, but you know it’s for the best, hell it was for your well-being.

 “Please just listen to me Josuke. I..I want to break up” you said, trying not to mumble any words; you wanted him to hear you loud and clear, even though to some extent it hurt you too. It just had to be done. You couldn’t be in this relationship anymore. 

 Josuke wanted to believe that you said something else, you HAD to have said something else. You didn’t want to break up with him, you were just confused right? No..he swore he’d done everything right. He was a good boyfriend, he asked his mom for advice, he asked Jotaro for advice, where or what did he do wrong? Josuke tried hard to let his lip wobble at the news, let alone cry.

 “Was it something I did? Please tell me, is it because I’m overbearing? I promise I’ll try my best to be better! I-I’ll get rid of my video games if I have to, please [first] don’t leave me-” Josuke pleaded with you, but you couldn’t have this conversation much longer. “I’m sorry Josuke, we can still be friends..I just can’t be with you anymore, I hope you understand” you said walking away from the tree and Josuke. It hurt, but you knew this was the right descion. At the moment though, you didn’t want to face the male; you wanted to avoid him as much as possible.

 Josuke however, felt devastated, betrayed almost. How could you have ended your relationship you had? He had been a good boyfriend right? Did you find someone else? No, you couldn’t have, you loved him, you were just getting confused at the moment. You must be getting brainwashed or something. He felt Crazy Diamond manifest behind him, and he gripped his fist.  He will get to the bottom of this. He will find out who gave you the idea that he was a bad partner. You just don’t understand how much he loves you. ‘No, please don’t leave me [first]’

-

 “So did you do it?”

 You looked over to your classmate, Rikka asked almost desperately. “Of course I did, but I still feel awful about it..Is- Is it true that he’s a thug?” you mumbled sensing a feeling of dread just thinking about it. You loved Josuke, but if what your friend was saying was true, you couldn’t possibly stay with him much longer. In fact, Rikka wasn’t the only girl who warned you about Josuke. “Come on [first]-chan, haven’t you noticed the way he dresses? Only delinquents dress like that. Not to mention the hair” she told you, mumbling the final part (since it’s known that Josuke hates when people insult his hair). You shook your head, “Thank you so much for telling me Rikka-chan, I don’t know what I’ve done if my parents caught me dating a thug. But..I really did love Josuke..”

 Rikka gave you an an assertive smile, “Don’t worry [first], there’s other guys here in school. I’m sure there’s at least two who have a thing for you, you’ll get over Higashikata-san eventually, now come on it’s almost time for class” she said picking up her bag and walking towards the lockers. You smiled and nodded in response. “I’ll meet you there just let me get my pen, I left it in my purse” you said walking towards her. “You’re always so forgetful!” Rikka joked.

 Not far from the lockers, Josuke was standing there, listening to every word that came from your mouth. “Oi Okuyasu, what’s that girl’s name?” Josuke asked his fellow stand user and friend. “That’s Minamino Rikka, I think I have a few classes with her. She’s kinda cute no?” Okuyasu said walking back to the classroom they were in. ‘Not as cute as my [first]-chan’ Josuke thought as he tried to contain his anger. He wasn’t completely mad at you, he was more mad at that ‘Rikka’ for getting those sick thoughts into your head. He wasn’t a ‘thug’, he was a good guy! In fact he was the perfect boyfriend for you. He was sure you knew it too, you were just getting fed lies. Maybe he’d have to teach that girl a lesson for messing with his darling..

-

 “I heard you dumped Josuke, he’s a drag huh. You should go out with a real man. So how about it [first]-chan? Wanna go on a date with me?”

 You knew who this was. This was Fungami Yuya, he wasn’t exactly a heartthrob, but he did have his fair share of fans. However, you knew he wasn’t good news, despite how charming he looked. You had heard from Josuke that he was a motorcycle gang member, right off the bat you have to refuse. “I’m sorry Yuya, we don’t know each other very well, and besides-” you tried to just waltz your way out of the situation, but Yuya persisted. “Please [first]-chan, give me a chance, I genuinely want to ask you to-” 

 “What the hell are you doing near my girlfriend?!”

 You looked back at the entrance of the classroom to see Josuke, already fuming with anger. You never liked it when Josuke got angry, you always felt like whoever the person he was getting angry at was in complete danger. Not to mention you always feel like there’s another presence in the room when he does get angry. “Josuke please!-”

 Soon, the space between Josuke and Yuya got smaller, “Are you asking for a fight? What gives you the right to talk to my girlfriend that way? She’s taken. Plus where are your groupies anyway?” Josuke asked, but at this point, he was close to just beat him up with Crazy Diamond.

 “I’ll handle this doll-” Yuya muttered to you while placing a quick kiss on your forehead, before going back to facing Josuke. “Josuke, what’s the deal? You two aren’t together anymore, everyone knows it-”

 “Don’t let history repeat itself Yuya. You know what I can do to you. You wouldn’t want to go back to the hospital again would you?” by that point, Crazy Diamond had already manifested itself behind Josuke, and it’s glare was quite terryfying. Yuya gulped at the sight of the other stand, before leaving the classroom you were in. You wanted to leave the room as well, but before you could even get up from your seat on your own terms, Josuke had already dragged you across the hall.

 “Josuke! Let me go! You’re hurting me! I thought we weren’t together anymore!” you squeeled trying to get someone’s attention. It didn’t seem like anyone would hear you though, because Josuke had shoved you into one of the unused bathroom stalls. “Shut your whore mouth. We are together, you didn’t mean to break up with me right? It was just that people kept lying to you about me..” he said in a rather harsh tone before quieting down. Truth be told, you were scared. This wasn’t the Josuke you fell in love with. “I don’t.. I-you hurt me [first]. When you broke up with me, I was heartbroken. But when I found out that Rikka and those other girls were feeding you lies, I knew I had to protect you. They tried to tear us apart, so I put a stop to them” Josuke said holding you in place.

 “What the hell are you talking about? What did you do to them?” actually, you didn’t want to find out. Right now you had to get away from Josuke. You kicked him below the belt and ran from the bathroom. You didn’t even know where you were running to, as long as it was away from Josuke, you felt safe. You locked yourself in a gym closet, you just had to buy some time. There was only a few more minutes before school ended, you just had to be patient. You pulled out your cellphone and tried to dial your mother’s phone number.

 “Just what do you think you’re doing? Put that phone down now! Now you’re seriously going to get it” you heard Josuke right across from you. How did he find you so quickly? You were sure you had locked the door. It doesn’t matter now because your phone was snatched from your hands by none other than your ex-boyfriend. Although you knew it was useless, you tried to crawl away because panic and fear ran thorough your mind. 

 “Why are you trying to run away from me [first], I’m just doing this because I love you so much. How about I show you how much I love you” Josuke said holding you by the hips, getting you closer to him. You tried to release yourself from his grasp, “No! Josuke please I don’t want this! I don’t want this relationship! Please!” you tried to reason with him. but it seems you made him even more angrier. “I really wanted you to enjoy this, but I guess you want a punishment instead..” he growled making you face him. This really wasn’t the Josuke you once loved, this was a monster.  He then used Crazy Diamond to rip open your clothes..

-

 Loud moans and gasps filled the small closet you and Josuke where in. You were fully naked, while he had his pants down. Josuke left red marks on your hips from where his nails kept digging into your skin. You felt drool drip down your mouth as Josuke kept thrusting into you at a inhuman speed. “You see..this is why you shouldn’t try to break up with me. I know you still love me. You won’t ever leave me after this” Josuke groaned into your ear while kissing your neck roughly. You only moaned in response, you felt like if he didn’t stop now, you were going to pass out. You wanted to hate him, oh how desperately you wanted to hate him. However, there was no denying how good he’s making you feel. “Josuke..please I’m close” you gasped as you clinged onto him. “Yes! Yes [first] let it all out! Let me know how good I made you feel!” He said, his thrusts getting more sloppy and impatient. 

 Not even a few moments after, you climaxed, with Josuke following soon after. You were gently placed on the floor by none other than Josuke. You were completely exhausted, you just wanted to go home. “You were amazing [first], I hope you remember this moment. Don’t ever run from me okay?” he said laying next to you. He placed one final kiss on your lips.

“I love you..”

[blue-bird-kny]

first kiss headcannons for tanjirou zenitsu, inosuke and genya? plus any others you feel like adding.

Here you go, enjoy!~Amanda (also it was impossible to find an image with them all!)

Warning: Mentions of anxiety, fluff, angst

(2k+ words)

Tanjiro:

With Tanjiro, he’d be the one that would initiate the first kiss. Being the gentleman he is though, he’d only do so with your complete consent and after you two had been dating for a while.

However, he wouldn't spend time planning the kiss or creating a romantic scenario, he’d want it to be spontaneous and in the moment; he’s simple in that way.

You and Tanjiro spent the day training and, now exhausted, you both laid on the floor in an attempt to stabilize your breathing. “You’ve grown as a fighter so quickly (y/n), I’m impressed. Not that I didn’t think you could do it, of course.” Tanjiro commented from the floor, watching you slowly sit up. “Well I’ve had a great teacher” you winked, poking at his side causing Tanjiro to laugh. He sat up, smiling lovingly at his girlfriend. Girlfriend; he loves the fact he can call you that. It had only been a few weeks, but it seems like he asked you out months ago, you two were just so comfortable with one another.

Of your short relationship, the biggest obstacle Tanjiro’s has had to overcome is the ability to do normal relationship things without asking first, even if you’ve said it's ok. For example, the first time he tried to grab your hand without warning, his fingers shook and his face was red. It’s one of your favorite things about him, how endearing he is.

Today, though, he's able to do such simple gestures without worrying too much. The two of you sat in silence, breathing steady, as you sat facing each other. Tanjiro reached out to grab both your hands, tightly holding them in each of his own larger ones. He wanted to reach that next step with you, but he didn’t know if you were ready. “(y/n), Can I kiss you?” his question was quiet and filled with care, he didn’t want to make you unhappy by moving too fast.

What he didn’t know was that you’d been dying to feel his lips on yours, to feel how they molded together with his, to feel more of him. You didn’t need words to convey your confidence or trust in Tanjiro, so you simply shook your head yes. Eyes closed, heart racing, you hummed in delight as he started small, placing a firm kiss onto your forehead. He leaned lower, pecking the tip of your nose, making you smile fondly. Finally, he delicately placed a tentative kiss on your lips, cupping your cheek in the process.

It was slow and quicker than you’d have liked, but there was time for more later. He pulled away a bit, just enough so you both could lean onto each other's foreheads, smiling in content.

First kisses with Tanjiro are sweet and kind and very, very soft.

Zenitsu

No matter how much he may flirt with you, even after you two get together, this boy will in no way try to initiate the first kiss.

Underneath his crazy antics, lies a boy with horrible anxiety and little self-confidence, so it’d be hard for him to be the one to progress the relationship. That being said, it's not like he doesn’t think about kissing because he does...a lot, but his fear of losing you is far greater than his desires.

Whether it is his ability to take action in battle or training with the others, you try to encourage and praise him as much as possible. This has helped his confidence some, but when it comes to you, he has more to risk than sparring with Inosuke.

It was early in the day, just before the sun's first rays could break the silence of night. You were usually up at this time, early enough to get ready before having to wake the others for whatever the day called for. Usually, in the bed only a few feet from yours, your enthusiastic boyfriend would be snoring away, but this morning he was nowhere to be found.

You silently panicked as you tiptoed out of the room not wanting to wake the others as they slept, bursting into a full sprint once outside. It wasn’t long, though, before you found his blonde head peeking out from behind a bush. Silently, so as to not startle him, you walked over and took a seat next to him. You didn’t say anything, there was no need to, sometimes he just needed you there in silence. Instead, you grasped his hand in yours, giving him a reassuring squeeze and kind smile.

“You know (y/n), You are always saving me, but I never seem to be able to be there for you when you need it. How useless am I, right” his voice was hollow, eyes empty as they gazed into space. Sometimes it was tough to bring Zenitsu out of these spirals, but you had to try, you loved him and could’t stand the fact that he didn’t see himself the way you saw him; brilliant.

The movement of your body shifting in front of his pulled him from his empty thoughts. He was startled as you unexpectedly pulled him into a tight embrace, his hands hung in the air unsure of what to do with them. “Zenitsu, I wish you could see yourself the way I saw you.” you started softly, hand rubbing soothing circles into his back. “You’ve saved me more times than I can count, on the battlefield you never fail to protect me from harm even if it means getting injured. Us being together is something I cherish deeply and I’m grateful that we’ve come together, you make me really happy Zenitsu” you tried to convey every ounce of the happiness the boy has made you feel.  

Zenitsu began to cry into your shoulder, finally returning the hug you’d had him wrapped in. You two sat in silence again, save for the few sniffles that came from your boyfriend, as the sun's early rays began to penetrate the atmosphere. He pulled back after some time, his gaze switching from your eyes to your lips in a silent question. You chuckled as your hands hooked around his neck, pulling yourself significantly closer to the boy who you loved. “You can kiss me, you know”. Those few words were all the confidence he needed as he pulled you the rest of the way, lips meeting in a passionate kiss. His cheeks were damp from crying and his lips were slightly chapped, but none of that mattered because there was nowhere else you’d rather be than with Zenitsu  in the early morning glow.

Inosuke:

In a weird way Inosuke was a simple guy when it came to how he expressed his feelings and emotions; short and to the point. It takes a lot to make him embarrassed, so if he wanted a kiss from you, he’d get it. He sees no point in waiting for that ‘perfect’ moment, it's going to happen eventually so why not right now?

It was just another afternoon with your friends all being patients at the  Butterfly Estate. You’d all gone there after receiving some nasty injuries on the mission you’d all completed. You decided that the fastest way to heal was to sit outside in peace and quiet, allowing your body to do its thing while soaking in the sun and inhaling fresh air.

Well that lasted a good two seconds before your rowdy boyfriend came running around the corner, his boar mask on and swords waving recklessly. Irritated at the interruption, you shouted “Inosuke damn it! You’re supposed to be healing not running around like an idiot” . Your words captured his attention as he changed in direction towards you. “(y/n)!” he laughed, “I already healed, I don’t need any rest like you weaklings!” if you didn’t know better, you’d taken offense to his words but you knew it was all for show.

Inosuke couldn’t even begin running again before he groaned in pain, he’d managed to pull one of his healing muscles by running, “Sit Inosuke” you insisted. He begrudgingly sat cross-legged next to you, murmuring nonsense on his way down. You were the only person he listened too so easily and it amazed the others.

“Here” you moved toward him, “take this off so you can get some fresh air” you explained, removing his mask and gently placing it on the ground. His dark locks tumbled out onto his shoulders and over the bandage that was wrapped around his skull. You frowned as you noticed a small spot of blood that was slowly growing on his forehead. “Inosuke, you managed to open the wound on your forehead again. Aoi isn’t going to be happy about that.” you gently reprimanded, bringing your hand to the spot and slightly applying pressure in an attempt to stop the bleeding.

Inosuke watched in silence as you tended to him. He’d always admired you from the first time you two met. He was riled up by the strength you showed on the battlefield and was determined to fight you. Of course you’ve rejected every one of his requests since, but you didn’t mind the company as he seemed to stick by you like glue. Over time his admiration developed into something more romantic in the sense that he really liked you. So now, as you showed care and kindness towards him, he found it only appropriate to kiss you.

His movements were fast and dramatic as he squished both your cheeks and roughly planted a quick kiss to your lips. You were stunned after he pulled away, his mouth forming a smirk. “What just happened?” you asked nobody in particular. It wasn’t that you minded the kiss, quite the opposite as you’d been crushing on the wild man for forever now, but it was so sudden you didn’t even get to enjoy it. Releasing your face, he triumphantly raised his fist and shouted “(y/n) is mine now! She’s mine so if I see any of you weaklings around here I’ll beat you to a pulp”. Your small chuckled slowly built up to a loud fit of laughter, you held onto your stomach for support. “Oh Inosuke” you smiled playfully up at him. However sweet he was though, you were a woman of revenge and so before he could react, you held his cheeks like he did yours and kissed him, albeit much gentler and for longer. The roles from earlier reversed, as now you were the one smirking in delight and he was the one who sat in confusion.

Genya (This one is a little shorter/ more like a headcanon because I’m only just getting used to his charters so please, bare with me!)

On the outside, Genya looked like a mean, rude, and unapproachable guy, which in some cases was true. For you though, he was just a softy who wanted  love and affection sometimes more than he wanted water and you were more than happy to shower him with it.

Genya would be too embarrassed to initiate the first kiss, that oh-so lovable shy side of himself stopping him from making too many moves on you. It was a miracle he’d been able to ask you out without blowing a gasket, so this was hard for him.

Anytime he’d even get close enough where he could kiss you, he’d bounce away with red checks, almost like he’d been set on fire by your presence. However today you were determined to kiss Genya, even if it meant teasing him a little further than normal.

Your boyfriend had offered to walk you to your room like he does every night, the two of you walking in a comfortable silence. You looked to see if there were others around, happy to find nobody in the corridor. Outside of your door, Genya faced you to wish you a good night, but was caught off guard when you pushed him against your door with much effort and used your arms to trap him there. The scene was actually pretty ridiculous; you were much shorter than he was and if he wanted to, he could have easily pushed you away. “W-what the hell..mph!” he was cut off as you reached up and placed  a rough kiss onto his lips. He didn’t respond right away, and you almost pulled away regrettably, but after a moment he held you in place by snaking his arms around your waist. The kiss became smoother and gentler as time passed, you two quickly melting into one another. Eventually you had to pull away for air, a small string of saliva connecting you two as you both breathed in deeply.

Regaining your breath, you looked up to find his narrowed eyes staring down at yours. He scoffed in a way that would have been off putting if his arms weren’t still secured around you, “If you wanted a kiss you could have just asked” he said as red began to spread even further down his neck and up to the tips of his ears. “Ah Genya, you really are the sweetest” you cheered pulling yourself closer to his chest.

“H-hey you moron! We’re in public!” Genya panicked as you laughed at his failed attempt to pry you off his body.

Main Masterlist

I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it, please leave a heart/reblog if you’d like. Thank you and please stay safe~Amanda

[h2bakugou]

Hello :) I really like your work and I was wondering if you could write about mha Shoto, Katsuki and Izuku having a girlfriend whos a badass while fighting but who's also bff with denki because they can act dumb together and are huuuuge weeb? (Also if you don't mind I would love to see denki's reaction to his gf being badass but also as crazy as him bc my pikachu deserves all the love) ? I hope it makes sense x)

a/n: hey love! awe thank you so much! this request is really cute, kaminari is such a sweetheart and i love him so much omg. thank you for the request hun!

headcanon: them with a s/o who is badass when they fight but also denki’s crazy bff

key: (y/n) - your name / (f/n) - first name / (l/n) - last name / (e/c) - eye color / (h/c) - hair color / (y/q) - your quirk

warnings: fluff, swearing

»»————-　★　————-««

shoto todoroki

»»————-　★　————-««

Shoto probably doesn’t understand how you can go from being super badass to somehow short-circuiting yourself when hanging out with Kaminari.

If you don’t have an electricity-related quirk, he’s super confused, like how does that happen?

If you do happen to have an electricity-related quirk, he’s also confused because you aren’t even using it. Just being with Kaminari the two of you goof off enough to go all wheheyyyyy.

Todoroki enjoys watching you fight. You don’t take shit from anyone. Period.

Watching you take down bad guys is like a guilty pleasure past-time of Todoroki’s. You’re so skilled, and there’s so much he could learn from you in terms of combat.

You’ve done your training and you’ve learned and studied on your own alongside all your peers.

But as soon as you step off the battlefield, you’re somehow another person. Or at least you seem to be another person.

If there’s one thing you never stop hearing in the common rooms, it’s your laughter and Kaminari’s wheezing.

Todoroki is concerned when he hears it late at night, especially when you’re supposed to be asleep, and even more so when you’re trying to be quiet so you don’t wake anyone up.

“(Y/n). You should be resting, it’s late.”

“I know, I know!” You shush Kaminari who is rolling on the ground beside you, trying to stop the tears induced by laughter falling from his eyes.

“Kaminari just whipped out his Beyblades and challenged me. I beat him. 18 times.” You were losing your shit.

“It’s almost one am.” 

“Okay okay, Kaminari, I’ll beat you again tomorrow.” You stand and walk back to your dorm with Todoroki, sad to say goodnight to your best friend.

I don’t feel like Todoroki would get jealous because I think he genuinely understands that you and Kaminari are friends.

Kaminari also respects that you and Todoroki are in a relationship and has stopped hitting on you.

But he jokingly states that if you and Todoroki are to break up he might not be able to hold back.

»»————-　★　————-««

katsuki bakugou

»»————-　★　————-««

Bakugou is jealous 100%

“Stop paying attention to that loser!” Bakugou will hug you and drag you back to your dorm at one am to get you to go to bed all because you’re having fun with Denki.

He doesn’t understand how you can change from being a badass to a quote on quote ‘dunceface idiot’ like Kaminari.

He loves you a lot and loves seeing you in action. It’s mesmerizing to see you take down bad guys and be all tough.

You’re a tough cookie and Bakugou enjoys watching you intimidate all the villains.

But watching you goof off with Kaminari strikes a nerve in him.

You joke around with Bakugou, but there’s something about joking off with a best friend that is different than with your romantic partner.

You decided that your library of fart jokes was probably a little inappropriate for Bakugou’s ears, not that the curses came out of his mouth were all appropriate in the first place.

No one understands your jokes quite like Kaminari. He’s the one you're getting scolded with at four am for being too loud by Mr. Aizawa.

But who else was going to laugh at you trying to knit Bakugou a sweater and failing horribly?

“What is that supposed to be?”

“Bakugou!”

“That just looks like an angry porcupine!”

“Isn’t that what Bakugou is?”

Kaminari has officially lost it.

You and Kaminari have begun writing down every single roast the other drops to use later on and it’s even better when you both pull the same line in your little roast battles.

Everyone is silent and then you both just burst out into laughter.

Bakugou gets over his jealousy after Kaminari has a somewhat serious talk with him.

“(Y/n) wanted me to talk to you.” Kaminari starts, and Bakugou is already frustrated, is this how you tell him it’s over?

“I don’t see her romantically at all. I know you two are together, and as her best friend, I respect that. I know you’ll treat her well, so I expect you too. That’s my best friend you’re dating after all.”

Bakugou is speechless. For the first time, Denki Kaminari has said something that he understood.

“Did she tell you to say that? Did she write that down for you to say?” Bakugou is on edge.

“No! I came up with it myself because it’s the truth. She was just worried you were getting angry with her for hanging out with me so much.”

Bakugou cools down and eventually heads back to hang out with you.

Bakugou’s loud and obnoxious, so for the sake of you he tries to understand your humor, but sometimes you have to help him out.

It’s all in good fun though.

»»————-　★　————-««

izuku midoriya

»»————-　★　————-««

Izuku is probably super confused at first too.

He tries his hand at humor so he understands some jokes, and he himself can go from being all cute and adorable to fucking badass.

But when it comes to someone else, he’s a little lost.

Especially when that someone is his own girlfriend.

You’ve gone from tearing shit up on the battlefield to wheezing over a meme that is just a picture that says ‘top text bottom text.’

He surely doesn’t understand.

I feel like Izuku might get a little jealous at first. He’s unsure of why you’re always spending lots of time with Denki and having a good time.

“Izuku he’s just my friend.”

“But you never laugh like that with me.”

It’s an eye-opener.

Izuku is jealous of how you're happy around Denki.

You try your best to explain to Deku but you might need a bit of help from Kaminari.

Kaminari assures Deku that nothing is going on between the two of you and that you’re just his best friend.

“I promise you, she’s just my best friend, I respect the boundaries of your relationship.” Kaminari has a bright smile on his face while you hug Izuku.

“Thank you for telling me this.” Izuku feels better about the situation but still worries sometimes.

You begin to include Izuku some, but he may not understand your humor sometimes so you’ll have to explain it to him.

Overall, Izuku is happy to see you happy. You learn to balance your time for both your friends and Izuku.

Izuku still doesn’t quite grasp how you can be such a badass at times then lose your mind with Kaminari at two am for making a pizza with ketchup instead of pizza sauce.

“Isn’t ketchup essentially tomato sauce?” Kaminari examines the ingredients list.

“I think it has vinegar in it. It’s gonna taste weird.”

“Well I can’t find the pizza sauce.”

“Ketchup it is then.” You take the bottle and squeeze it out over the dough. Kaminari helps add the cheese and any other toppings.

Deku is concerned.

“I don’t think that’s going to taste very good.” He’s tired too but insisted on staying up with you so he could bring you to bed after you eat.

And Deku's right.

It tasted horrible.

But at least he was able to walk you back to your room and tuck you in after that terrible experience.

»»————-　★　————-«« 

denki kaminari

»»————-　★　————-««

The duality that y’all have. This relationship is POWERFUL.

Badass gf on the battlefield but goofy as shit when it comes to hanging out together?

Kaminari couldn’t have asked for a better partner. 

Watching you in action feels like a fucking movie. He’s drawn in constantly, admiring you every chance he gets.

Watching you fight, hell even watching you train is amazing. You’re incredibly skilled and your training pays off immensely.

Kaminari would like to say that training with you is amazing too, but the two of you can barely compose yourselves for that long.

You’re almost always laughing on the ground at like the one hour mark.

You can look at each other and just burst into laughter.

As much as I kind of hate the whole ‘marry your best friend’ saying, this relationship radiates that energy. You guys are endgame.

Kaminari couldn’t think of another person to share the love he has for you, let alone the plethora of jokes, puns, and roasts the two of you can make up on the spot.

Kaminari doesn’t want to imagine a world without you. And you couldn’t fathom being in one without him.

You guys are bound together, and are almost never apart for too long.

Granted you guys do have your days and you do make time for yourselves as any healthy relationship needs its boundaries.

You guys have shirts with memes on them, or phrases that you say constantly.

MATCHING PIKACHU ONESIES

You’re constantly yelled out for being too loud in the middle of the night, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Kirishima, Mina, and Sero finding you guys sound asleep cuddling on the common room couch because y’all just passed out after goofing off for so long is a common occurrence.

If you have another best friend, I don’t feel like Kaminari would get crazy jealous because you only ever act like a goofy dumbass around him, and you’re crazy for him so he’s not too worried.

Might ask you about it but you’re in love with Kaminari’s dumbass and only his dumbass.

Who else are you going to watch cooking videos with a one am and try and recreate them on the spot?

»»————-　★　————-««

masterlist

[glitxhwayventeen]

Lonely Together

Jihoon: Chapter 4 (Waves)

Characters: Jihoon x female reader

Genre/Warnings: multi-member au (different scenarios), werewolf au, fantasy, fluff, suggestive content, mentions of marking, angst (kinda maybe sort of?). Any others will be put as warnings when future chapters are thought up/written. Please let me know if I missed anything!

Author’s Note: So I’m trying to not make every story super depressing. At least for now. So I took a shot at some average fluff for Jihoon’s chapter. Let me know what you think! It’s a bit short, but I’ll edit it some more to juice it up when I have the free time.

Please remember that all of these chapters and the content within them are a work of fiction! They’re just for fun/entertainment!

Bold= Dialogue Italics= Thoughts

☁️

Lonely Together Masterlist

Chapter 4: Waves

You were still getting used to everything, which no one could blame you for. You weren’t used to being around humans let alone lovey happy couples all the time. It was all… disorienting to you. You understood why the rest of the pack acted the way they did with their mates, in a way you also felt some primal need to be the same with Jihoon. But it was just… quite a big adjustment for you.

It wasn’t bad by any means! You knew you’d get the hang of most of it eventually. But there were some things you weren’t sure you’d ever get used to. Like the constant PDA of the couples around you. You didn’t understand the need to be that close to someone all the time or need to be that handsy. You always wondered if maybe Jihoon wanted to be like that, but you never really had the courage to ask in case you wouldn’t like his answer.

You also knew you’d never really like the fact that the pack seemed to refer to you more as a mate than as a wolf. You grew up being a wolf above all else, you considered yourself a wolf first. Now, you were Jihoon’s mate. Just one of the girls. You ate with them, you hung out with them, and you were treated like them even though you were just as strong if not more so than most of the males. Soonyoung didn’t get treated that way even though he was technically Seungcheol’s mate. It seemed unfair. That thought seemed to leave a bitter metallic taste in your mouth, but you just dealt with it because that’s just how it was now.

And you knew you’d NEVER understand the need to give your partner sweet little gooey nicknames. I mean, who the hell decided it was an adorable idea to start calling the person they fuck baby? How the hell was that SUPPOSED to be cute? It was creepy to you. You could tell it visibly bothered Jihoon that you hadn’t called him anything other than his given name, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to call him by anything else. Every cutesy petname you could think of just felt… wrong to you. Sweetheart? Shit didn’t make sense. Hearts were NOT sweet. Sugar? He wasn’t composed of glucose or fructose so that wasn’t right. Prince? He wasn’t royalty, well, at least not that neither of you knew of. Daddy? Even creepier than baby. So you just opted to leave it at Jihoon.

As for you and Jihoon, you’d been doing alright. You were still rather shy around each other, but you were definitely more obvious in your affection with each other. For instance, at breakfast you always seemed to find yourself scooting your chair as close to his as you could manage. And he always made sure you were within his sight. You weren’t sure why. Where could you have possibly gone when you were stuck with a bunch of wolves? But it did make the chambers of your heart constrict extra whenever you noticed him trying to look for you. You had to admit, It was kinda cute.

There was still one problem. You two hadn’t… consummated your bond yet. You were still unmarked even though it had now been weeks of being in the same house together. He hadn’t even tried to sleep with you. It had you confused, shouldn’t he have wanted to have sex with you by now?

-

“Dude quit being a little bitch and just do it already!” Soonyoung groaned at his younger brother while he pinched the bridge of his nose.

You were currently outside learning how to play soccer with Somi, just far enough away to where you couldn’t hear what was going on inside. They were all watching you guys from the window. You felt someone staring at you so you looked up from the ball next to your feet towards the house. Your mate was eyeing you and had a fond smile flashing brightly at your from his spot. You gave him a sweet one back with a little wave added before you continued on with your fancy foot maneuvering past the younger girl and scored a goal, causing you to jet your hands in the air in celebration. God he loved you.

Jihoon looked away to sigh and he ran his shakey hand through his slick hair, “But how am I supposed to do that? You fuckers are here every second of everyday and she can hear everything that goes on the same as I can. You’re all way too distracting. If she’s anything like me-” He was cut off before he could finish his sentence.

“Which she is.” Mingyu stated with a giant grin on his face while crossing his arms over his chest.

“IF she’s anything like me, she doesn’t want you guys listening in or around when we’re going at it. She’s too private for that” Jihoon emphasized, trying his best to contain his annoyance at the taller boy for his smugness, “Plus, you’re all too lovey with each other, it makes us both awkward and uncomfortable.” He admitted.

Joshua laughed and slapped his hands on his knees where he was sitting down at the table, “So you’re telling me that WE make YOU GUYS uncomfortable? Have you ever even been in the same room with yourself? You’re both ridiculously intimidating to the girls because you’re so quiet. WE know it’s because you’re just shy. But THEY all think you’re some sort of psycho killer dude!”

“Yeah if looks could kill, we’d all have been long dead by now!” Snorted Wonwoo, who had his arm wrapped around his mate possessively.

Jihoon raised his chest out defiantly, slightly annoyed at his pack mates for making fun of his cold exterior, “Yeah? Well at least I can keep my hands off my mate for more than a split second!”

He never really understood the need to keep partners away from other people. That is, until the other day when Chan had accidentally brushed up against your front while trying to reach for a plate. He all but chewed him up and spit him out for it, though you didn’t know that as he did it once you had gone up to bed. He couldn’t help it. His inner wolf just snapped at the poor kid. Though looking back, he’d still do it again. No one should be touching you but him.

“Not for long. You’re getting soft. You’re laughing more at the things she says, you’re joining us on errands more because she goes with, you’re getting more and more protective over her because she’s not marked and you don’t want anyone taking her away from you” Mingyu proudly spoke up much to Jihoon’s shock. He happy that he had taken the smaller wolf off guard with his statement, “You’re getting just as whipped man. You want my advice?” He asked, seeming pretty genuine with his question.

Jihoon nodded at him. Mingyu was surprisingly one of the few who could actually keep a few feet’s distance from his mate. Out of everyone in the pack, he would’ve DEFINITELY expected him to be the one most likely to be attached to his lovers side. But he when he found his mate, he didn’t get possessive over her at all. He just let her do her own thing with relative freedom. He figured he must have had some sort of secret behind being able to control himself and, for your sake, Jihoon figured he should take any help he could get before he got bad.

“Mark her as soon as you can. It helps. You wont get as jealous, at least around us, because we’ll smell you on her.” He shrugged towards his elder, quickly going over and kissing the top of his mates head who was sitting on the ground braiding Josh’s mates hair.

The thought of marking you sent a weird feeling through Jihoon’s veins. He WANTED to. But the real question was, would you LET him? “I don’t know. It could help I guess. But again, you bitches are always here and if I EVER want to do anything with her, you assholes can’t be anywhere near or she’ll refuse.”

“Okay okay! What if we were to all go visit Taeyong’s pack later? Then would you get the stick out of your ass and just fucking get it over with?” Seungcheol interjected with a heavy chuckle.

He was just as glad that his younger brother found you as everyone else. He really needed you in his life, even if he didn’t want to admit it. So he knew he had to help him figure out how to finally make things ‘official’ with you.

Jihoon thought for a moment. There didn’t seem to be a reason why that couldn’t work. He’d just have to make sure you knew to stay behind which, considering how touchy feely the others were, you’d probably be more than happy with that, “That’s….. actually a good idea.”

“Yeah no shit Sherlock. That’s why he suggested it” sneered Jeonghan. Jihoon sent him a small warning growl before Hannie went and collected the other mates and boys to tell them the new plan for the day.

He couldn’t lie, he was super fucking nervous. Other than that day you found out you two were mates, he hadn’t been left alone with you. At least not completely. There was always someone how because of how many people that lived in the house. He didn’t have much experience with girls. He had more experience than you did, but he was still trying to grasp the whole ‘mating’ thing. He didn’t know where to even start. He couldn’t just go up to you and go “hey I need to mark you or I’m gonna go crazy so we need to fuck like rabbits.” I mean, what kind of loser did that? He had to start thinking of a more subtle approach.

And, as if on cue, in came you and Somi from outside after Jeonghan had called for you both from outside. Your cheeks were a bit flushed from being in the sun and your hair that was once put up in a neat ponytail was now falling out in locks towards the rest of your face. You had grass stains on your knees and you had a bit of dirt on your forehead. You looked like you had gotten into a fight with the ground when in all reality, it was just your first time playing a child’s game.

“So, we’re going somewhere?” Somi ran up and kissed Chan on the cheek before he cuddled her in his arms.

“Yeah. WE are. THEY’RE staying here.” He let a playful grin plaster on his face as he pointed at your and your mate.

You cocked your head to the side in confusion, “We are? Why’s that?”

Chan gulped down his dry throat and shifted his eyes towards Jihoon, who was now staring daggers into him, “Oh… um- well… because…”

“Because we’re gonna be doing coupley shit over at Taeyong’s today and Jihoon said you wouldn’t want to watch us make out.” His sentence was quickly interrupted by the oldest alpha, much to your mate’s relief as his answer seemed to satisfy you.

“Ew yeah no. I’ll stay here that sounds gross,” you shook your head and scrunched up your nose in disgust, “Though I think I’ll take a shower. I feel almost as gross as you all are together.” You chuckled as you mad your way up the stairs and to the bathroom.

-

A little while later after everyone had got themselves together and understood why they suddenly had to leave, they began to head towards the door to depart. You were now upstairs in your bedroom, a towel tightly wrapped around your body and hair as you read a book to work on your Korean. You were pretty good with the actual speaking portion of the language, minus your accent of course, but you were still having a bit of trouble with the spelling and reading. And since it was the native language of most of the people who lived in the house, you figured it was best you study up on it a bit more to become more fluent.

Before you knew it, the others had left. You began focusing on a page of plural ways of speech and were brought out of your gaze by a soft voice near the doorway of your bedroom, “How’s the studying coming along?”

“It’s going about as well as dealing with humans after centuries of avoiding them.” You figured, putting your book down on the bedside table and looking at your mate who was now moving to sit at the end of your bed.

“That bad huh?” He joked while bringing his hand to touch your naked thigh. It brought a light pink blush to your cheeks, but you did your best to avoid it as much as possible and continued the conversation.

You shrugged the heat one your face away, “It comes and goes in Waves. Besides, It could be worse”

“And how’s that?” Jihoon questioned, giving you a tilted head in response.

“I could have had to go watch all the other suck face all day with another pack.” You laughed in amusement at your own joke.

Jihoon hesitated for a moment before he responded, “Well… yeah… about that…” he trailed in an effort to avoid the situation.

“What about it?”

“Wellllll….” He took a deep breath in so he could finish his sentence, “They decided to leave for me- well for us- so we could… have some time alone together…” he brought his newly hot face down to look at his lap so he didn’t have to look you in the eyes as he spoke.

“Alone time?” You bit your lip to hold back a knowing grin. You knew exactly what he was trying to say. But you really wanted to HEAR him say the words. Half to confirm your suspicions, half so that he would squirm a bit.

“Uh yeah. Alone time…” he started to pick at his nails to distract himself. He had never really been this nervous before. Why was he even nervous? You were his mate. It’s not like you’d have an issue with it all… right?

Your pulse was starting to race. The thought of what could happen was heating your body up to the point of concern. You weren’t sure why you were reacting this way, maybe it was because he was your mate, maybe it was because now you could go into heat, you didn’t know. But you did know that if he was going where you thought he was going with his sentence, you’d definitely not be complaining.

You gave him a wondering look, “What do you mean by alone time?” You faked innocence in your question, playing with the edge of the towel wrapped around your body.

He groaned in frustration and threw himself to the bed, landing on his back with a light thud while his hands found their way to his face, “They all left so I could mark you okay?? I knew you wouldn’t want to do anything like that with them here. But I knew I needed to do it soon so that my jealousy wouldn’t get the best of me. So Cheol agreed to have everyone leave for the day so we could just-get it over with” He sighed out, hands still covering his eyes so he could ignore your no doubt astonished face.

But instead, you found yourself straddling him in your easily droppable attire. His hands automatically sent themselves down to hold your hips once his body realized what was happening.

“You know, you could’ve just said that to begin with you know” you seductively let out. His face was absolutely stunned at your sudden behavior change. What actual fucking alien world had he stepped in when he came into your shared room?

(Updated 9/16)

[my-darling-luna]

Your Majesty Chapter 4

I try to make my stories as inclusive as possible!! Let me know if there is something that I can change/add to make things better!! I love you!!

Your Majesty Masterlist

Summary- It has been more than a decade since the Kingdom of Ultron lost their princess. (Y/n) was just a 17 year old that didn’t know much about her past. Realizations happen and lives are crossed. How will (Y/n) handle the new pressure?

Stucky x reader

-

“(Y/n) this is King T’Challa.” Tony motioned his daughter to move closer to the king. She curtsied before speaking to him.

“It’s great to finally meet you.” She watched as he bowed to her.

“I can say the same about you. I’ve heard a lot about you in the past few weeks.” (Y/n) blushed out of nervousness and looked out the corner of her eye for some moral support, but she found nothing. Her father probably went to go mingle while leaving (Y/n) alone with a person she barely knew.

“Yes well I’ll admit that it has been a crazy week.” She laughed under her breath. King T’Challa smiled kindly.

“I bet-” he was cut off by a woman whispering in his ear. His eyes never strayed from (Y/n), however, his mind clearly did as he listened intently, “thank you, Nakia. I’m sorry (Y/n), I’d love to talk to you later, but I must attend to something.”

“It’s no issue, it was great meeting you.” He nodded before turning around and following Nakia out of the ballroom. (Y/n) stood quietly off to the side while fiddling with her thumbs (a nervous habit that her teacher has tried to get out of her because it ‘doesn’t look royal’, but has so far failed). Huffing, she turned on her heel and walked to the other side of the ballroom and slipped out a side door that was only for the servants to exit and enter. It led to the garden, a fact that she learned the first day of her being in this huge castle. Walking down the corridor, she opened the outside door and began to wander the fresh smelling flowers.

(Y/n)’s fingers ruffled the petals of a tiger lily before moving onto the white roses. “You could get killed being out here.” She turned around quickly to see two men standing on the edge of the flower beds.

“You say it like it’s something to be afraid of.” (Y/n) responded to the man with brown hair and blue eyes. Both of them quirked their eye brows in a similar way.

“And you’re not?” The blonde haired man asked.

(Y/n) shook her head. “There is nothing I feel like I should be afraid of. No pain, physical or mental? Seems as though it would be a good deal.” The first man shrugged before moving closer to (Y/n). 

“It’s great to meet you, princess.” He took (Y/n)’s hand in his and kissed the back of it. “My name is Bucky.” (Y/n) smiled queasily before pulling away and tucking her hand in the grasp of her other. 

“It’s great to meet you too. You’re the Duke of-” She was cut off by the blonde man which left a bad taste in her mouth. She hated being cut off, especially by someone that she just met.

“Brooklyn, and I am Steve, the King.” He bowed to the girl in front of him and his smile fell at the small nod she gave to him. 

“Pleasure.” Her voice had a hint of distaste to it. “I must be going. It was wonderful to meet you both.” They nodded and that was (Y/n)’s cue to leave, practically running to the door. 

“Where were you?” Tony asked, pulling (Y/n) in for a quick kiss on the forehead.

“I went for a walk, it was feeling stuffy in here.” Tony opened his mouth to scold her, but he was cut off by a booming voice. 

“Stark! It is so good to see you.” (Y/n) turned around to see another blonde haired man in front of her, but this man had longer hair than Steve and also sported a beard. (Y/n) watched with interest aimed at the man as he hugged her father. “This must be Lady (Y/n)!” He bows to her kindly before motioning to her father. “How has it been living with a man as snarky as him?” Tony shook his head before pushing the man’s hand off his shoulder.

“(Y/n) this is Thor. He’s the King of Asgard.”

“It’s great to meet you,” (Y/n) felt tired of saying the same thing over and over again to all of the Kings, Queens, and other nobles as she had been all night, “and yes, my father is quite a challenge.” She teased and Tony stuck out his tongue at her.

“I can tell.” He looked around for a second like he was assessing the room. “Would you like to dance with me?” (Y/n) nodded, excited to know more about Thor.

***

They danced for three songs all while talking and laughing about memories and stories of those back in Asgard. (Y/n) loved the stories about his younger (adopted) brother named Loki and the constant tricks and pranks that he pulled on all people.

“You will have to come meet him sometime, Lady (Y/n).” She nodded excitedly, laughing as Thor spun her out and pulled her in close.

“I would love that.” She answered, talking a bit louder than usual because of the noise of the ballroom. The music decrescendoed and clapping once again filled the ballroom. Everyone watched as the King of Ultron stepped up and began speaking.

“I thank you all for coming and celebrating the return of my first daughter,” everyone turned to face (Y/n) and clapped, making her shy away from the attention slightly, “now as the night winds down, I’d love to do some dances that trace back generations, so come dance and if you don’t want to, get out.” Laughter started up, but it was anxious as no one knew if he joking or not. The band immediately started playing an upbeat tune once Tony got off the stage. (Y/n) squealed with happiness before grabbing Thor’s hand and dragging him to the big circle that was made in the middle of the ballroom.

“I love this dance!” She grasped Thor’s hand in her right and another man’s on her left that she didn’t recognize. “This was the first dance I was taught by my teacher when I got here.” Thor’s eyes twinkled as everyone grabbed hands and began walking four steps in then four steps out.

“I was only taught this a week before I came, so forgive me if I’m rusty.” (Y/n) shook her head and laughed as everyone broke off into twos and began dancing.

“I thought you’ve been friends with my father for a long time? Why are you just now doing this dance?” He picked her up by the waist and spun her before bringing her back to solid ground.

“I’ve never been able to make a party like this before, usually my parents would come instead.” Thor flinched at his own words and (Y/n) knew not to pry anymore. (Y/n) split off again with the rest of the women and moved to the next man that they had not danced with yet.

“What a pleasure to meet you, princess. Name is Brock Rumlow.”

“Wonderful.” Her tone was flat and she was spun again into the next person’s arms.

“(Y/n).” Steve said, a smile growing on his face as he held onto her waist with his hand.

“Your majesty.” She said plainly and his smile fell.

“Look, I’m sorry for interrupting yo-” she was spun again, this time into Bucky’s arms. He held her closer than Steve, his arm going fully around her waist to pull her chest-to-chest.

“Does your friend ever not interrupt people?” Bucky laughed and shook his head. (Y/n) felt the heat in her stomach grow a tiny bit before completing disappearing.

“I can’t say I’ve known when he does. However, I know that he does it when he’s excited and he did seem jumpy to meet you.” (Y/n) looked over to Steve who was spinning a girl with blonde hair in his arms. The band slowed down and once the last of the strings stopped, everyone else followed. People clapped to the band before starting to leave in groups.

“(Y/n)?” Tony called and she turned around. “I have invited the kings and their families from neighboring to stay here for a while.” (Y/n) knew the deeper meaning in that sentence. They were staying here because of the threat that Hydra made. “I’ll see you in the morning, okay?” He kissed her forehead and patted the back of her head while staring straight at the two men who were standing too close to her in his opinion.

“Dad, just leave.” She jokingly pushed him away and he looked insulted before rolling his eyes. “I can bring them to their rooms.”

“They’re in the visitor’s wing.”

“I know, stop worrying.” Tony gave one more look at the two men before turning around to join Thor and T’Challa along with their families.

“Let’s go.” She nodded towards the open door before walking through and down the corridor. Bucky and Steve ran after her and waited until they caught up to begin talking.

“I really am sorry.” Steve said and (Y/n) watched as he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

She shook her head. “It’s whatever...just don’t do it again please.” Steve nodded and the three took a left and then a right to end up in the visitor’s hall. “Lisa?” An older woman turned around and smiled when she saw (Y/n).

“What can I do for you, dear?” (Y/n) smiled.

“Can you tell me where Steve and Bucky are supposed to be?” Lisa nodded.

“Second and third doors to your right, miss.”

“Thank you.” The woman nodded and walked down the hallway.

“Here we are.” (Y/n) nodded towards the direction of the doors.

“Thank you.” She shook her head at Steve’s words.

“Can we see you tomorrow?” Bucky asked, holding his door open slightly.

“You don’t have any meetings with my father and the rest of the kings?” (Y/n) teased and both Steve’s and Bucky’s eyes widened.

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Bucky suddenly got nervous.

“I’m not stupid, boys. So what time?”

“4:00.” Steve was the first to give up. Interesting.

“Do you both know how to ride?” They nodded. “Well how about we go riding after breakfast?” The two nodded again. “Great. Good night.” She began walking off.

“Wait,” Bucky yelled, “shouldn’t we be walking you back?”

“I’ve never been one for the traditions.” (Y/n) said simply and began walking once again. Two doors shut behind her.

—

Taglist- @austynparksandpizza @aikeia @simplyfandomish @baby-noodles​ @lili-ann-love​ @rebloggingeverything​ @spookyparadisesheep

[ateezmakemeweep]

you’re the one that i want (part 20)

word count: 7k

angst, fluff (tw: anxiety attack)

(part 19) (series masterlist)

“is there a reason you don’t wanna go home? are you not safe there?”

“it’s...fine,” you say quietly. “they just say a lot of things that hurt my feelings and yell. but who’s parents don’t? it’s just....normal family problems,” you tell seonghwa quietly, blinking back the tears threatning to fall because you don’t think being smacked and kicked and fearing for your life is considered normal family problems.

“whatever they say, know it’s not true,” you hear him mumble against your head. “they don’t know how lucky they are to be able to see you everyday.”

those words leaving his mouth catch you off guard, any time he says something sweet like that making your heart flutter and tears prick your eyes. and he knows it too because he looks down at you and smiles, shaking his head before placing another peck on your nose and lips.

“please, no more crying tonight.”

and you try for him again but it proves to be a failure, burying your face in his neck and allowing your wet, salty tears to fall on his skin. you try to control your breathing and sobs threatening to leave, neither of you commenting on the death grip you have on him.

“i’m gonna miss you,” you whimper out quietly.

“i’m gonna miss you too, baby,” he says, “but i’m here now. and i’ll be here when you wake up.”

your eyes shoot open as you’re ripped from the dream of memories, tears blurring your vision and a pit in your stomach because you can remember that night so well.

your last night with seonghwa when he calmed all your worries with his sweet words and soft spoken tone. told you he loved you and that you guys would figure everything out, no matter what was gonna happen.

it was the last night you thought you’d wake up with him, the last time you thought you’d feel truly safe and protected after months of experiencing happiness you’d never felt before.

but now here you are months later, unable to move because of the heavy arm wrapped around your waist and his warm breath on your neck; but there’s also a horrible pit forming in your stomach as you quickly recall last night’s events.

remember how you finally told someone about the years of abuse and hostility you’ve dealt with, reluctantly opening up to the boy who, for the past few months, has also been hurting you.

and with his calming breaths against your skin, his warmth and scent surrounding you, it’d be too easy to transmit yourself right back to that happy place you were in in your dream.

pretend that just for a moment, as you welcome seonghwa’s touch and closeness, that things are normal. expect him to roll over and give you a kiss good morning like he always did, whine to him that you wanna stay in bed with him all day and watch movies and giggle when he kisses your nose and insists that’s what you’ll do then.

pretend that these past few months didn’t happen and that if he woke up now, he wouldn’t be reminded of the fact he hadn’t wanted you up until a few hours ago. that he told you before the summer ended he’d be there for you and then proved time and time again that he wasn’t.

but you wanna trust him so badly. let him help you and hold you and be like the person he was during that good time. but how are you supposed to really trust him now? how do you know he’s not just gonna freak out again and leave you alone?

because after what you went through and told him last night, you don’t think you’ll be able to handle it.

so it’s why you take a few minutes to breathe, now faintly aware of the rising sun and knowledge that you probably have school in an hour or two. you rest your tired eyes and allow him to hold you for just a little longer, feeling so at ease and relaxed despite your racing mind.

you hear your phone vibrate against the table next to you and pop an eye open, stiffening slightly as you try to rip yourself away from seonghwa. you work slowly to lift his arm, hearing his quiet groan as he tightens his hold on you.

“y/n...” you hear his sleepy voice mumble and you think for a second that he’s awake, about to close your eyes and pretend to be sleeping until you hear the familiar sound of his steady breathing.

you let out a sigh, moving even slower before you eventually get out of his grasp. you can’t even say you’re surprised to see no missed calls from your parents and three messages from san, his frantic questions and crying emojis bringing a sad smile to your face.

your eyes filter over to the desk where that purple turtle lie, narrowing your eyes at the overpriced figurine that served as the catalyst to your breakdown last night.

but it all had just been too much, everything had been too much. seonghwa’s presence and your exhausted body and mind. the voice in your head going back and forth about what to do and if you can trust him before you all but passed out.

it’s still too much right now and if seonghwa wakes up and looks at you a certain way, wonders why you’re still here or thinks you expect to go to school together today with a sneer on his face, there’s a good chance you’ll break down again.

so with one final look, a sad smile quirking at your lips as you watch his handsome, sleeping form, you quietly sneak out of the house to start the journey to school.

the cool morning air sends a chill down your spine and you can just feel how puffy your face is, your confessions having been as exhausting as you thought. you felt slightly better today after your good sleep (the best sleep you’ve gotten in months actually) but you were still haunted.

you’ll be haunted long after just telling someone, riddled with the effects of your parents treatment for quite some time after probably.

and who’s to even say, now that you told someone, that it’s gonna stop. you don’t even know if seonghwa’s gonna help in any way, the vulnerable state you were in last night easily putting all of your faith in him.

because despite everything, despite the way he’s treated you, a part of you still believes he’s good.

but now, with a somewhat level head, you’re also feeling hesitant and confused but mostly scared. what’s gonna happen later today when your parents confront you? how is seonghwa gonna act in homeroom or at lunch? what is san gonna ask you about-

your phone vibrating in your pocket makes your eyes grow wide, your stomach twisting at the idea of seeing seonghwa’s name on the screen. but then you relax slightly and smile, seeing san’s name and it appears he has not a care in the world that it’s only 6:30 a.m.

“hi,” you answer softly, your expression softening when you hear his sigh of relief.

“you took at least five years off my life, i hope you know this.”

your eyebrows pull together at his words, watching the cracks in the sidewalk as you walk down the pavement slowly.

“what do you mean?”

“what do i mean?” he parrots, his voice raising. “what i mean is that i, reluctantly, send you home with seonghwa and then never hear from you again! on top of the fact that wooyoung came in 20 minutes after you left but that’s a whole other story in it self. are you okay? please tell me you are. i’m gonna seriously have a-”

“san,” you say, amusement in your voice because you don’t think you’ve ever heard him so panicked before; he’s usually so sweet and calm and soft spoken. “i’m okay. i...fell asleep at his house.”

“oooop,” san says lowly and you narrow your eyes because you can just picture his facial expression right now. “are you still there?” 

“no. i snuck out while he was sleeping.”

san hums lowly and you resist the urge to scoff, wanting to ask what that noise was for when he talks again.

“and everything was..okay? i didn’t know if you were gonna be mad at me but i don’t know... you didn’t seem right yesterday, y/n.” 

you swallow the lump in your throat as tears prick your eyes, biting on your lip as you try to control your breathing; but this isn’t going away, you told your story once and you have a feeling you’re gonna have to again and again and again.

“i wasn’t,” you admit quietly, not wanting to drop that kind of bomb over the phone. “but i’m a little bit better today. and i’m not mad, san. i...we needed that, i think. i needed that. it was hard but i think we’re kind of...” you try to find the words but realize you don’t even know what you could possibly say about you and seonghwa right now. ”...actually i don’t even know,” you laugh out quietly. 

because you don’t know, you ran out before you could know anything.

“well if i know seonghwa at all, he’s probably gonna wake up and frantically search for you.”

and it appears the blonde still knows his ex-friend quite well because the second seonghwa woke to an empty bed, he became panicked. heart racing and eyes wide as he looked around his room, knowing that just a few hours ago you were wrapped up under his arm because he had watched you sleep until he passed out.

it reminded him of the night after your first time, when he watched you sleep for what felt like hours before coming to the conclusion he’d fallen in love with you. that he was deep and thriving in something as tragic as a summer romance.

he told himself he wasn’t gonna sleep at all that night because he didn’t wana forget the moment; and it’s, ironialy, the same thing he said to himself last night. 

that he had to be up when you awoke so he could tell you again that he’s gonna be there for you. that even though he hasn’t proved it much these past few months, you mean more to him than anything else and he’s gonna help you through this.

so a low curse leaves his mouth as he jumps up and searches for his car key, knowing that it’s probably a little fucking crazy to drive around and look for you but his body just acting on instinct at this point.

because he knows you’re probably thinking a million different thoughts right now, none of which are true. that he plans on ignoring you again and has no intentions of helping, that last night he was just so overwhelmed by your closeness and his desire for you so he acted as if things were like before.

but that couldn’t be further from the truth; things had always been like before and he was too stupid and insecure to realize that. 

he cared too much about what his friends thought and doubted himself and even though he still doesn’t think he’s deserving of you, his need to help and protect you is overpowering everything.

it’s why he speeds through the streets of his neighborhood and sighs in relief when he sees your familiar frame walking, phone held to your ear as he immediately pulls up to the curb.

“he really said that?” you softly ask san who was only starting to explain his drama with wooyoung from yesterday. “how would that even-”

the sound of a car behind you makes you tense and turn around fearfully, relaxing and letting out a quiet, strangled gasp when you see seonghwa through the window.

“y/n? what happened?” san asked, immediately hearing your harsh intake of air. 

“you were right,” you mumble under your breath, san letting out a scoff when he hears seonghwa’s voice calling your name. 

you watch with wide eyes as the dirty blonde walks over to you, looking down at you with a soft, almost guarded look and you hate that your first instinct is to hide away from him.

“i should go, i’ll see you at lunch, okay?” you mumble into the phone, the boy humming his response before you reluctantly hang up and look at seonghwa. his gaze feels more penetrative than usual, your lips pressing together nervously.

“why’d you leave?” he asks you quietly. his tone isn’t accusatory or upset, just genuinely curious and maybe even a little hurt which makes it worse.

“i...we have school,” you lamely say, seonghwa eyes narrowing as he looks at you. 

“and? we have an hour left till then. and i have a car.”

your eyebrows raise in surprise at him saying that, never having expected he’d be giving you a ride; because that would definitely indicate you guys know each other. 

“i just wasn’t sure if you...wanted me there still. i didn’t mean to fall asleep and i was-”

“you weren’t going home,” he says firmly, the low growl in his voice immediately  shutting you down. “you’re not going home.”

“where else am i supposed to go? i live there, seonghwa,” you say, fully ready to accept going back there tonight. 

because what else can you do? as tragic and as toxic as it is, that’s your home. that’s where your stuff is and where there’s a roof over your head. if you could just not go home, you would’ve done that many nights. 

“and i told you we’re gonna figure it out,” he says, walking closer to you and taking your face in his hand. you let out a shaky breath at the feeling, your eyes meeting his and tearing at the look in them.

that familiar soft but blazing look that never failed to make you feel safe.

and right now, not only are you confused by all of this, you’re scared, terrified really, of what’s gonna happen now that it’s out in the universe and scared that you’re gonna have to go through all of this alone.

“you told me a lot of things,” you mumble quietly, hating that you couldn’t stop the words from leaving your mouth. but you think you hate even more the way seonghwa’s face falls, his eyes looking over you before he lets out a sigh.

“i know,” he says, the hurt and distrust in your gaze breaking his heart while also reminding him of the fact that he was a fucking asshole. “but you can’t go back there, baby. i know it’s scary and that your shit is there and that you might not trust me right now but i...you just can’t, okay?”

and then when he tugs you into him, almost like he couldn’t even stop himself, and rests his lips on your head, you think you’re about to crack again. 

so even though you’re still not 100% sure on what the hell you’re supposed to do right now, trust him or not, you accept his comfort and nod against him. he breathes out a sigh of relief at the way you melt into him, his hand on the back of your head as his fingers thread through your hair gently.

“we’ll go to school together, yeah?”

you pull back upon hearing that, your eyes watery and wide and the shock in them makes him heart drop in his stomach; because it doesn’t take a genius to figure out why you’re so surprised by the offer.

“i...are you sure?” you ask him quietly, biting down on your lip nervously in a way that makes his eyes narrow. makes him take your hand in his and walk you toward the passenger seat, gently guiding you in as he buckles you in like a child who can’t do it herself.

“i don’t know if i’ll ever be able to let you out of my sight again,” he says quietly, voice so low and whispered you’re not even sure if you were supposed to hear that. but that doesn’t stop you from raising an eyebrow at him, cocking your head to the side as you peer up at him curiously. 

it’s a look that causes him to touch your cheek again, running his thumb along your warm skin as his eyes roam your face. he hates that it took something as tragic as this to snap him out of his stupid shit, finally make him step up and be there for you in the way he should’ve been from the start.

“i’m sure,” he says, voice back to a normal volume, saying words you were meant to hear. “so please, let me help you.”

you can also hear the soft desperation in his voice and it only reflects in his eyes as he looks at you, reluctantly pulling away after a few seconds and it’s then you let out the breath you were holding in.

his eyes are always gonna be what get to you. the way they hold so much emotion and fondness and really make you believe, even after everything he’s done, that he really does wanna help.

that maybe you both are just young and confused, dealing with too much heaviness and tragedy that two teens trying to be in love need. that even though what he did was wrong, it could mean something that he’s here now when you most need someone. 

but you can’t push down the feelings of doubt and nervousness, even as you look up at him and nod. he bites the inside of his cheek, eyes roaming your face once more before he lets out a quiet sigh and closes the passenger side door.

“so...you finally getting over yourself?” 

it’s the first thing yeosang says when he sits down at lunch, the other two boys still on the line trying to convince the lunch lady to give them triple servings of chicken nuggets. 

but it’s like his words fall on deaf ears, seonghwa’s eyes trained on you and san just a few tables away. 

he had asked you multiple times to sit with him but you rejected each and every request, not wanting to deal with the questioning eyes or snide comments from his friends; you also knew san wouldn’t be comfortable with that, with the way his voice was tight and thick with emotion this morning talking about wooyoung’s surprise visit to the cafe last night.

“hey, asshole,” yeosang repeats, voice brash and abrupt as he waves his hand in seonghwa’s face. it snaps the dirty blonde out of his staring, looking over at his friend with an unamused expression.

“hi?” 

“did you not hear me?” yeosang asks, looking between his friend to follow where his eyes were just planted on. and he’s not surprised to see you, smiling softly at something san said, your small shoulders shrugging before you peek over at their table. 

“what’d you say?” seonghwa asks lowly, doing everything in his power to control the deep, guttural growl threatening to leave his throat. 

yeosang meets his friend’s gaze, eyes narrowing when he sees how tight and tense he’s been. he looked like that the second he got to homeroom, all of their eyes widening when he walked in guiding you by the small of your back. 

he had hovered and acted as if you were gonna disappear if he wasn’t by your side, the brown-haired boy hearing your quiet voice mumble “it’s fine,” when he continued to linger at your desk. 

him and mingi shared a look because something had to have happened yesterday. neither of them had ever seen seonghwa that angry before, pushing wooyoung against the desk and lowly cursing at him like he was his worst enemy and not one of his best friends.

and now here he is today, his eyes never leaving you with a soft intensity he’s also never seen before.

“i said have you finally gotten over yourself?” 

and when seonghwa only narrows his eyes in confusion even more, yeosang nods his head toward you. 

“her. are you two a thing again? finally gonna admit all your shit?”

“what does it matter to you?” seonghwa snaps, yeosang rolling his eyes before letting out a huff. 

“because you’re my fucking friend, hwa.”

seonghwa bites the inside of his cheek before he looks at you again, a hint of a smile quirking at his lips watching you giggle at something san says. it’s the happiest he’s seen you in the past 24 hours and it makes him relax despite the nervous energy coursing through his body. 

because showing up to school, everyone seeing you guys together and his friends hounding him with questions, is the least of his concerns now; he can’t believe for the past two and half months, those have been his concerns. 

“what happened?” yeosang asks, seonghwa looking at him and it only further assures the boy that something had to have. the look in his friend’s eyes wasn’t right, pent up with such emotion and frustration and desperation. 

“nothing,” seonghwa says but his voice is making it very clear that that’s a lie. “i just...i’ve been fucking up with her. really bad.” 

he looks over at you and feels his leg start to bounce, fear tightening his chest because now, instead of being concerned about people finding out he was capable of having feelings, like a normal human being, he was scared of the danger you were in. 

of you going back to your house with him later and being subjected to more pain and suffering from your parents. watching as he loses his shit and fights violence with violence because the idea of someone putting their hands on you makes his blood boil to a level he’s never felt before. 

of you somehow being ripped away from him again or not trusting him after the way he’s acted; because while he knows it’s warranted, he’s gonna do everything he can to prove himself to you.

“i love her and i fucked up and now she’s...” seonghwa swallows the lump in his throat and shakes his head, running a hand through his hair so he doesn’t scream. yeosang feels his heart soften seeing his friend in obvious distress, putting his hand on his shoulder in an uncharacteristic display of affection. 

“i know,” yeosang says. “we knew this whole time to be quite fucking honest. so we didn’t get why you were fighting it so much.”

seonghwa lets out a humorless laugh, shaking his head because how stupid. how completely fucking stupid was he? caring about that when, from the beginning, it was obvious he had feelings for you. that his friends knew the second they saw him return back that he was different. 

“i know. so now i... i don’t know if she’s ever gonna trust me again,” seonghwa says reluctantly, feeling slightly awkward and uncomfortable talking about this with someone. but he saw it in your eyes this morning, how unsure you were even though you looked up at him with such fond softness.

and yeosang doesn’t miss a beat, shrugging as he squeezes the boy’s shoulder reassuringly. 

“how ‘bout just don’t be a dick this time and actually love her,” his friend says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “you don’t have to proclaim it to the whole fucking school but make sure she knows. show her instead of saying it a thousand times in secret.”

seonghwa’s shocked by his friend’s helpful words but they also pull at something in his chest, secretly warmed and happy by the fact they really do just want him to be happy with someone.

“i thought i was gonna get you that time in the hallway,” he then says and anyone could just hear the smirk in the boy’s voice.

“wait, so you’re not in love?” yeosang asks suddenly, eyebrow quirked challengingly. and when seonghwa doesn’t answer, making your stomach twist and heart drop a little bit, he continues. 

“because you know, it’d be a little crazy to fall for someone in just one summer. but you two are kind of giving me hope since it seems to be working so well.”

seonghwa scoffs before shaking the boy’s hand off him, a smirk pulling on his friend’s lips that causes him to shake his head. 

“knew you were up to some shit that day you dick,” seonghwa mumbles lowly, his eyes moving to you because he can’t look away from you for more than two minutes today. doesn’t know how he went as long as he did not talking to you for days on end and just watching from afar.

“she really threatened to call my mommy, what a dirty move,” mingi says, his tray piled up with chicken as him and wooyoung join the two boys at the table. 

“to be fair, you really are fuckin’ annoying,” wooyoung counters, the taller boy narrowing his eyes at his friend before looking to seonghwa.

“can you choke-slam him again? 

seonghwa and yeosang can’t help but chuckle, wooyoung rolling his eyes before looking at the dirty blonde. 

they all saw this morning how he was different with you but a part of him specfically couldn’t help but feel jealous, watching as the boy so freely touched you and watched you and showed everyone you were his. 

because while a part of it was with a sense of possession, most of it was completely pure. the love and affection and care oozing from the both of you, even as guarded and unsure as your gaze was. 

and he can’t help but feel like he wants that too, looking over at you and san where the blonde is teasing you with a french fry. you catch it and throw it back at the boy, his tiny squeal filling the cafeteria as he laughs with you. 

and it’s with that he quickly turns away, feeling something pulling in his chest that he just can’t face right now; seonghwa catches his gaze and gives him a look that he just knows is gonna result in a conversation later. 

“only if he deserves it,” seonghwa says lowly, wooyoung letting out a snort as his friend’s crypticness before he throws a piece of chicken at the boy. 

“hey, fuck off! i worked hard for all of those!” mingi whines.

“oh, you didn’t do shit!” wooyoung spits, leaning back in his chair as he pops a piece of chicken in his mouth.

“i didn’t do shit?” mingi yelps, “i did all the talking and persuading! you just stood like there like a fucking idiot!”`

“he keeps looking over here,” san says quietly, feeling the boy’s gaze on their table before he looks back at you. “so i guess this morning went...well.”

you shrug slightly as you nod, remembering the way you walked back into seonghwa’s house and plopped down on his couch together. neither of you said anything and yet, somehow, just a few moments later, you were fast asleep on his shoulder again.

you woke to a gentle kiss on your head and his hand on your cheek, asking you quietly if you wanted to miss school today. but that seemed to rip you right from your drowsiness, wanting and needing the normalcy that comes with the school day. 

it would’ve been too easy to say yes and stay wrapped up in his arms until three, bask in his comfort and familiar warmth and remember just why you two fell in love in the first place. 

but that would’ve been too painful and too fast and too much, especially given the way your heart is extremely fragile right now. 

“yeah, i fell back asleep and then we came,” you tell san quietly who just nods in understanding. 

and with the silence that follows, you know he wants to ask. 

ask what happened after you guys left and if something changed within that time. ask why seonghwa was so adamant about you lying about your injuries and the desperation he’s been seeing in his eyes lately regarding them.

but you know you’re not ready to tell him yet.

that even though you trust san more than anyone in your life right now, you can’t have him knowing this part of you yet. you can’t delve back into right now and cry in the lunchroom and risk anyone else finding out about your tragic home life. 

“i...i promise i’ll tell you everything,” you say to him, his eyes softening the second you start to speak. “i...trust you more than anyone so please don’t think it’s that. i just...i don’t wanna get into it again after last night and-”

“love, love, love,” san repeats sweetly, cutting your words off as he shakes his head and takes your hand in his. “same thing applies like before. you tell me if you want to and when you’re ready,” he says simply, a small smile brightening his face and making your body warm. 

“i just wanted to make sure you were safe and okay.”

you want to say that you are now. that, at least, you think you are now and you’re gonna try really hard to be strong during this. 

“thank you,” you say, tears pricking your eyes and a sad smile immediately covers his face. 

“you’re welcome, babe. but if you start crying, i’m gonna start crying and then thou shalt not be named are gonna come over and try to beat both of us up.”

a wet giggle leaves your mouth as you shake your head, wiping at the tiny, stray tear that managed to escape your eye. 

“i already fought with wooyoung and i’d gladly do it again,” you tease, the words leaving your mouth before you even realize that san doesn’t know about your little homeroom spat yesterday morning. 

your eyes widen and you’re about to explain yourself when san’s phone starts vibrating, looking down to see it’s his mom. he holds up a finger with an amused look in his eye, his voice raising cutely the way it always does when he talks to his parents.

you look over to see seonghwa and his friends laughing at the table, a piece of chicken being thrown through the air that hits the tallest boy square in the face. you smile softly seeing seonghwa look so carefree and happy, your chest tightening and hoping that, finally, he’s gonna let people see how sweet he is.

how sweet and good and kind he really is. 

your eyes meet and you can’t even stop the way your cheeks flush, seonghwa’s smile softening and eyes brightening before he takes out his phone. just a few seconds later, you hear your own vibrate against the table and pull your gaze away, looking down to see his name on the screen.

it makes your heart race despite seeing him just a few feet away, not used to his name there.

seonghwa [12:03] you okay?

you look over and nod your head, his eyes narrowing at you ever so slightly before san’s loud, excitable voice rips your attention away. 

“yay! guess what!”

you look across the table to see san bouncing with excitement, a wide, dimply smile on his face. 

“what?”

“we have off today! my parents are staying because a health inspector is coming and apparently, us sitting on the counters and eating all the cookies made them wary.”

and you truly wish you could match the boy’s excitement. clap or smile or kindly remind him that you rarely are the one eating cookies.

but your mind immediately thinks that, now, you have to go straight home. you don’t have the safe haven that’s been the cafe to destress from school and mentally prepare for the few hours with your parents.

and especially after not coming home last night? not answering your dad’s call you actually saw you missed or just talking to them at all? 

you were done. you were absolutely done.

you were gonna hear the front door slam against the wall and hear their feet stomping down the hallway to your door. you were gonna hear their fists pounding until they either got the lock open or scared you enough to open it. 

they were gonna scream and yell insults at you until those weren’t enough and they had to put their hands on you and-

“y/n?” san asks softly, your chest heaving and eyes staring down as you struggle to catch your breath. you don’t even realize you’re shaking until you feel like you’re about to fall off the chair, your hand gripping the edge of the table before you jump to your feet. 

“i...” you swallow down the lump in your throat, eyes frantically searching the room before the doorway catches your eye. and you know you just need to get out once you see that exit, suddenly hyper aware of loud chatter of voices and books being thrown on the table in the bustling cafeteria. 

“i’ll be right back.”

“y/n, wait,” san says, standing up to follow you before you rush out the door with your head down. he snaps his head to the side when he hears a chair scuff against the floor, seonghwa ignoring the voices of his friends as he quickly jumps up follows behind you. 

he watches the dirty blonde run off and call your name, the pout on san’s face making one boy across the room wish he could be like seonghwa and console the person he cares about most. 

you were headed straight for your designated bathroom stall when you felt a gentle tug on your hand, being spun around to see the eyes you know so well. staring down at you with such concern, reminding you of that familiar calming presence that helped you some nights on your balcony.

“what happened?” he asks calmly, his voice low but serious as he resists the urge to pull you into his arms; he needs to hear you talk first, make sure you trust him enough to really tell him what’s going on.

and at first, he sees the fear and apprehension in your panicked eyes. sees that you might wanna find comfort in him but you’re still scared. so he gently reaches out and takes your hand in his, intertwining your fingers and allowing his thumb to slowly caress your clammy skin. 

“i need you to breathe, okay?” he says quietly, throat tightening because it’s obvious you’re struggling. he doesn’t know why or what happened within the five minues he looked away from you but he can tell you really need to breathe. 

so he lets you decide the next move, whether you wanna do this on your own or fall into him and allow him to comfort you. 

and he can’t even pretend to feel relieved when you fall into his body a few seconds later, breathe against his chest as his calming, familiar scent surrounds you. he immediately wraps his arms around you, his hand running through your hair and voice cooing lowly in your ear.

cooing the phrase that got you through those the last few weeks of summer, the softly spoken “i’m here,” that you clung onto with such hope. hope that he crushed on your first day here but think, and hope, he’s trying to repair. 

it’s hope that you really need right now because without it, you don’t know what you’re gonna do. you don’t know if you can survive this life alone.

“i...i don’t have work.”

he didn’t expect those to be the ones that leave your mouth but he’s sure that’s what your shaky, sweet voice says. 

“i don’t have work and now i have to go home and i’m gonna- they’re gonna come home and go crazy and i don’t think i can handle it, hwa. i know they’re gonna be so mad and they won’t even-”

“you don’t have to,” his deep voice says simply, low in your ear as he tries to hold his shit together seeing you like this. “i told you you’re not going back there.”

“where-where am i supposed to go?” you whimper, looking up at him with tears in your eyes. “i have nowhere else to go. i-i can’t and won’t intrude on my aunt with this. i can’t bother her like that.”

and because you’re so out of it, you miss the way seonghwa’s face twists suspiciously. 

“baby, you need to listen to me,” he says, his hands cupping your cheeks so he can wipe your face. “it’s friday, right? we’ll go to your house, get your stuff and you can stay with me, if you want. or...san, if you’d feel better with that. i don’t think he’d mind, but you’re not fucking staying-”

“i wanna stay with you.”

and he thinks it’s just because you’re in the state that you’re in right now that you blurt it out so fast, looking up at him like you’re terrified he’s gonna leave you again; but that couldn’t be further from what’s gonna happen. 

“then you’ll stay with me.”

you let out a shaky breath as you nod your head, burying your face back in his shirt. you inhale his scent and relax against him, his hand running through your hair as he repeats himself again and again.

he doesn’t know if later tonight you’re gonna feel the same way. wanna be comforted by him so closely and tightly when, really, you should be rebuilding your relationship. proving himself to you in a way that you deserve, not that you guys just keep living through the memories and love from summer. 

because he doesn’t care what he has to do, he’s gonna prove it to you in any way he can. 

but then when you’re standing outside of your house with him, your body rigid and eyes wandering, you feel yourself ready to crumble again. your hand reaching for his as you stare at the house, the walls already managing to be filled with such pain and suffering and dread. 

“let’s go in and pack you a bag, yeah?”

you look up at seonghwa and he can see the anxiety in your eyes still, his heart squeezing painfully in his chest at the sight. his hand not holding yours reaches out to cup your cheek, wanting so badly to peck your lips and assure you everything’s gonna be okay. 

“they’re not home, baby. you said they won’t be home for an hour, right?”

you nod your head, irrational thoughts flooding your mind the more you start to worry. 

what if they can just sense you’re up to something and left work early? what if there’s miraculously no traffic on the parkway and they get here quicker than usual? what if they never went to work at all and are in there right now?

“what if they...come home early? what if they find us? my mom is usually the first one to come home but my dad isn’t far behind. he’s- he’s the one i’m scared for.”

and seonghwa almost hopes that that man walks through the door and says something, feeling his fists ball and veins course with anger.

“then i’ll fucking kill him.”

your eyes widen at the growl in his voice, stomach twisting in fear because that’s even more of a reason you don’t want him coming home early. 

“seonghwa! you- you can’t say stuff like that.”

but he only shrugs his shoulders and tightens his hold on your hand, nodding his head toward the house. 

“then we better get in and out.”

the next five minutes are full of panic and chaos for you, running around your room and the bathroom across the hall for all of your essentials. and it’s after you’re almost done packing your bag that you hear a car door slam outside, your head snapping to seonghwa who’s standing by the window.

“seonghwa...” you whisper, the fear in your shaky voice immediately causing him to peek out the blinds. but when he doesn’t see a car in the driveway, he assures you everything is okay. 

but that’s hard to do when you hear the familiar clicking coming from the front door a few moments later, the sweatpants in your hand dropping to the floor when full fledged panic runs through you again.

“seonghwa, they’re here, oh my god, what are we gonna-”

his hand wraps around you waist and he pulls you behind him, turning around to cup your face in his hands. 

“shhh. you need to breathe for me, baby, okay? i know you’re scared but it’ll be fine. i’m here.”

you bite the inside of your cheek as tears well up, the fact that he’s here almost making this worse because he can get hurt now. your dad could take his anger and frustration out on him and then you’ll really never forgive yourself. 

“don’t go out there.” 

seonghwa’s eyes narrow as he peers down at you, a look of ‘you know that’s not happening’ that makes your lips fall into a frown.

“please, seonghwa, we can just jump out the-”

but then the door squeaking open makes the words die in your throat, chest heaving up and down because your bedroom door is open and frantic footsteps are coming down the hall.

your grip on seonghwa is painfully tight as you try to pull him behind you but his feet are planted right on the ground, firm and towering and you don’t know if you’ve ever felt someone so stiff in their life. 

but all of that fades, your own anxiety included, when you hear a familiar voice that always served to calm you; ever since you were a scared child and first heard her outside her beach house.

“y/n? seonghwa? where are you t-” but then she stops in the doorway and her heart breaks at the sight, seonghwa standing protectively in front of you while you peek around his body, tears streaming down your red, puffy face now twisted into shock.

nobody says anything until the woman makes her way over, grabbing your hand gently before pulling your body into her. you don’t know if you start crying first or if her crying starts yours again but you listen in tears as your aunt mumbles apologies into the room. 

says how sorry she is that you’ve been living like this and that she had no idea. that she didn’t see the signs or keep you safe and can’t believe it’s been happening for as long as it has.

but you can only shake your head and mumble “no,” over and over again.

because this wasn’t anyone’s fault. it wasn’t her’s, or seonghwa’s for telling her or even yours, but your parents who never should’ve had you in the first place. should’ve never brought someone into the universe who they didn’t plan on loving and caring for.

but the older woman and boy sharing looks right now have had those exacts plans since the moment they met you, the former mouthing “thank you,” to seonghwa who only smiles and nods, watching the woman pull your face back and wipe at your tears.

her eyes travel to the small bag on your bed, her head shaking before she picks up the sweatpants on the floor and throws them onto your bed.

“you’re gonna need to pack a lot more than that.”

(part 21)

tag list: @chogiout ; @psshwa ; @yeocult ; @seongghwaa ; @cherryeonii ; @chaoticbanqtan ; @8teenee ; @nczenniez ; @atinyarmyx1 ; @mingtopiaa ; @chubsluda ; @joongiebug ; @mochibabycakes ; @jisungity ; @skz-on-my-mind ; @nlost21 ; @myonlyaurora ; @closer-stars ; @kuaenam3g ; @byungaji ; @floweryjh ; @joeycheungg ; @lostscenarios ; @atinyxtopia ; @sanisms ; @kpopnightingale ; @simpforhyunjin ; @89staytinyzen21 ; @lokicaramel ; @hwaxbum ; @sakura-uji ; @songsoomin ; @toffee-hwa ; @deobitiful ; @hyunjeansuniverse ; @clown-teez ; @i-know-you-know-lee-know ; @tiny-whatsername ; @fairieofeternity ; @yixing-jaehyun ; @sleepyseonghwa ; @revehosh ; @atletino ; 

[supraveng]

Moving On (3/?)

part 2

Summary: you have to confront your past….what could go wrong

Characters:  Sam Winchester x reader, former Bucky Barnes x reader, Tony Stark, Natasha Romanoff, Sam Wilson, Wanda Maximoff, Steve Rogers, Thor Odinson, Bruce Banner, Kevin Tran, Dick Roman, Maria Hill, Nick Fury

Word Count: 2508

A/N:  sorry for the delay on part 3, (work has been crazy)....hoping to post the next chapter next week

does not follow any MCU story line; attempting an MCU/SPN crossover; let me know if you want to be tagged in the next chapters

@iamwarrenspeace   

@mythandmagik    @lieswithoutfairytales   @bbmommy0902  @hailmary-yramliah  @jessyballet  @paryl @tcc-gizmachine @vicmc624​

You were in a daze and barely remembered getting back to your room, you heard Sam talking but you couldn’t grasp anything other than Thor telling you about your pregnancy.  Something that you would never expect to happen and you were certainly not ready for.  

“Sweetheart? Are you ok?” Sam looked at you worryingly.  

“Yea, uh, I um, I’m ok” you nodded “I am in need of a shower and uh, yea.”  Looking up at Sam, you saw the biggest smile on his face 

“I can tell you are worried, and I know this wasn’t your plan, but I’m so happy right now I can’t help it. We’re having another baby!” he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a comforting hug.  

“I love you so much, Sam” just a hug from him helped your anxious thoughts to quiet down for a few moments.  “Wanna join me in the shower?” you winked as you turned and headed towards the bathroom.

Making your way back to the common room, after a very long and rejuvenating shower, you tried your best to focus on what to do next.  Your head is spinning, as excited as you are about having another child, this wasn’t planned and kind of throws everything out of whack.  

You huff as you plop down on the couch next to Kevin, watching Morgan and Joy have a tea party in the middle of the room with all of their favorite animals.  

“So Kev, we are probably heading home tomorrow, so if there is anything you want to see while in NY, now is your chance” you tell him knowing he’s been enjoying this trip as much as you have.  

“Oh, I thought we’d be here longer, I was hoping to catch a show, but I haven’t been able to find affordable tickets, so maybe next time” he shrugs in response.

“Don’t be silly, I’m sure i can have Tony pull some strings and get you tickets for tonight, or we could move your return flight home, whichever you prefer really. Anything for Kevin Tran, world’s best nanny” you smile at him and see the small blush on his cheeks from the praise.  

“I’m serious, whatever you need, just say the word, you have no idea how relieved I am when she’s with you, because I know you take such good care of her, I don’t worry for a minute, you Kevin, are a Godsend if there ever was one”

You could tell Kevin was a bit taken back, but he rarely took a compliment well so you simply squeezed his hand and offered a sincere smile before being interrupted by Sam as he joined the girls on the floor for tea.   

“What do my girls say to a picnic then maybe a trip to the park?”   

"That sounds like a great plan, but I have an appointment with Maria after lunch so I can't make it to the park, I'm sorry sweetie" you tell them as you go to join them for tea.  

"Well, we could picnic here and maybe play down at the lake, I'm sure Tony has a kayak or canoe I can take the girls on." Sam tells you as you adjust the flower crown on his head so it  doesn't fall in his eyes.  

"Are you sure you want to take care of 2 kids by yourself? I gave Kevin the rest of the day off"

"Of course, and I need the practice" he winks as he starts to tickle the girls.  "Ok, then I will get our lunch ready while you help the girls out of these beautiful gowns and into some play clothes''

 Lunch was an event, although both girls were always well behaved, they had a tendency to make a mess, or get distracted and try to follow the butterfly that came by for a visit.  By the time you were done, you were rushing to meet Maria in time, knowing that being late was not an option.   

You knew what needed to be done but not sure how she would take the info about Roman getting away, hopefully the few of his lackeys that were picked up would get you some important info.  

By the time you made it back to the compound you were mentally exhausted, and apparently your clan had a good day as they were spread out in the common room watching The Little Mermaid.  You had to laugh at how engrossed in the movie the adults in the room seemed to be, and was Steve singing along...no, you had to be imagining that.  

Finding a seat next to Nat, you looked around fondly at your two families combining so nicely.  

“So how did she take it?” Natasha whispered without taking her eyes off the screen.  

You hadn’t told anyone what your full intention of today’s meeting was, as far as everyone knew, you were going over the mission report and strategizing the next steps, but Nat always knew everything….now that you were having two kids, you really needed to figure out how to do that.  

“Well, she’s not thrilled but understands, Furry asked if he had to buy me a farm….whatever that means” you responded shaking your head.  

She snickered and simply responded with “Clint”, you hadn’t even thought of that, “ah, well, Sam Winchester is not the Mr. Mom type, so this is my only option”    

“And are you ok with that?” she asks, finally turning and looking at you. 

“Honestly, I can’t imagine anything better” you sigh as you look over at Joy napping on Sam’s chest.  

“Good, you deserve all the happiness in the world” she gives you a small hug.  “And Tony’s throwing a dinner tonight, since you are leaving tomorrow, so be prepared”  

You roll your eyes in jest, knowing Tony would probably do something like that, “well, in that case, I’m going to try and take a nap before dinner”.   

Getting up you make your way to Sam and bend over to place a small kiss on his head, “I’m going to try and grab a nap, do you two want to join me?” you whisper in his ear, not wanting to interrupt anyone’s movie time…..and now I’m certain Steve is singing along ang actually knows all the songs.  

He smiles and nods, following behind you and into the room you are staying in

Sam got Joy settled in her crib before turning back to me, pulling me into a much needed hug.  “How do you always know when I need you?” you mumbled into his chest.  

“That’s my job” he smiled down at you “so I take it the meeting didn’t go well?”  

"It went as well as could be expected, I'm just trying to wrap my head around the time frame I gave them. Two weeks is a bit short to transition my cases to someone else and pack up my apartment but, the sooner the better I suppose" you are rambling as Sam put Joy in her crib and is now sitting on the bed watching you. 

"You are relocating?  Are you moving back to NY? I didn't realize that was an option when you made this trip…..does this have anything to do with Bucky?" he barely whispers with a worried look on his face. 

"What? Sam, no, none of this has to do with Bucky" you aren't sure why he thought that and look at him confused.  

"I…..I remember how broken hearted you were when we met, if you still love him, I would like to know…..I deserve to know since you are the mother of my children" you had never seen Sam so distressed in your life.  

He was the most confident man you had ever met, the lawyer that owned the courtroom as soon as he walked in.  You couldn't believe that he would ever be concerned with someone you used to date. 

"Oh Sam" you hold his face in your hands as you settle in his lap. "There is nothing left between Bucky and I, he was a part of my past, and might be a friend in the future,  but you are the only man I have ever truly loved with my entire being" looking into his eyes you see some relief so you lean in and kiss him softly but passionately. 

"The meeting was my resignation, or retirement as SHIELD prefers to call it. I'm leaving DC so we can all be together in Kansas all the time."  

He looks at you shocked "you quit? You love your job, I didn't think you would ever leave."  

You smile at him "I do, I love my job, but my family,  you, our kids are so much more important than any job could ever be" 

"Our kids" he whispers as you runs his hand over your stomach "we're having another baby and our family will all be under one roof….this has been an incredible day" he looks at you lovingly before wrapping his arms around you and pulling you as close to him as possible. 

"I'm sorry I didn't explain that before I left, but you know how exhausted I was the first time, there's no way I could continue this case on Roman being pregnant. Speaking of, do you think we could change the wedding date?  If we stick with our current plan, I'll be a whale walking down the aisle" you grimace at the thought of waddling in a wedding dress. 

He chuckles at you before kissing you, "whatever you want is fine by me"  

"Do you think your mom would be ok with us planning something small in the next month or so, before I start showing?" 

He laughs at your excitement to move things along so quickly "mom would love it, she works well under pressure"  

"Ok, let's try to rest before your princess wakes up" Sam and you snuggle into the bed wrapped up in each other's arms.  

It felt like you had just closed your eyes when you suddenly felt the bed shift.  Opening your eyes slowly, you came face to face with beautiful hazel eyes, had it not been for the giggles and tiny hands patting your cheek, you might have thought you were looking at Sam.  

“Joy sweetie” you whisper “how did you get out of your crib?” pulling her down to snuggle with you a bit longer.  

“Tevin hep me out” she giggles again before getting up and climbing over you to sit on Sam’s torso.  He didn’t move, but you could tell by his breathing that he was awake, and most likely ready to strike on Joy at any moment.  

It’s one of the things you love when you are all under one roof.  Not living in the same state is hard, and you both worked really hard to make things as normal as possible for Joy, but seeing them together, simple little things like this made your heart swell.  

She adored her dad, and had no idea it wasn’t normal for you to all be in the same house, but that would soon change.  Before you were too lost in your thoughts, Joy was squealing while Sam was tickling her, the fake sleep surprise attack never failed. 

Looking at them you laughed and attempted to get out of the bed, but you heard Sam whisper “let’s get mommy” and before you knew it, you were being tickled and attacked by both of them.  

By the time the three of you made it to dinner, everyone was there and of course Tony had everything catered and a full staff serving, and of course he needed to make a toast to make sure everyone knew it was an official ‘family’ dinner. 

 Clinking his glass he raised it in the air and everyone followed suit, you were about to grab the wine glass but quickly changed to the water in front of you.  

“To an ever expanding family, salut” Tony cheered as everyone followed suit and took a drink.  The table was full of laughter and chatter from everyone, even Morgan and Joy were chatting away as the best of friends. 

“So Sam” Bruce turned toward Sam “how did you propose to Y/N?” for some reason, that question got most of the tables attention and everyone was looking at the two of you.  

“Well, which time?” Sam asked with a smirk.   

You knew that this would come to bite you in the ass one day, but you had hoped it was with Sam’s family, not yours.  

“Wait…..you proposed more than once?” Steve asked, you could tell he was trying to seem like it was an innocent question, but he was really trying to understand the person you had become since you left NY.  

“Three times to be exact” Sam said with more confidence than you had expected.  You shook your head knowing everyone expected an explanation and you were about to speak when Sam squeezed your hand under the table. 

“Well, the first time was when we found out that our little Joy was on the way.  However, in Y/N defense, we were only together 3 or 4 months at that point, so it probably felt a bit rushed.   The second was about 15 minutes after Joy was born and it was a very emotional day for all of us.  The successful proposal was just a few months ago, and we went on a little road trip, and I proposed at the same chapel where her parents were married” Sam turned to you fondly and placed a sweet kiss on your cheek.  

“Wow, you are even more difficult than Pepper, I never realized that before” Tony smirked as he lifted his glass.  

“Very funny, Tony.   In my defense, the first two were spur of the moment emotional proposals and not thought through.  I didn’t refuse, but knew that you needed to really think things out before taking such a big step” you tried to explain your reasoning, but not sure if it was for yourself or everyone else. 

“They may have been spur of the moment, but they were most definitely thought through” Sam replies with a smug look while still eating and assisting your daughter with her meal.  

You looked up at him a bit confused and was about to ask more when he continued by bringing your hand to his lips and gently kissing your knuckles.  

“I bought that ring after our 3rd date, I just had to convince you that I wanted you for who you are and not what you have given to me since we met.”  

You were shocked, you had no idea he knew for that long that he wanted this life with you, it had all felt it just happened and you went with it.  You were actually speechless at this point and could see the glint in his eyes as you processed what he said.   Leaning in, you kissed him gently and looked into those amazing hazel eye, this is where you always belonged. 

[krnsluvvie]

look my way!

summary: you’re in love with one of your best friends, great. the fear of rejection and despair bring you to the very edge of cowardice and before you know it, you’ve lost him to someone who was a bit braver. 

pairing(s): iwaizumi hajime x reader, platonic matsukawa x reader, platonic oikawa x reader, platonic hanamaki x reader; Seijoh 3rd years besties w reader (basically a friendship fic with angst in the background lol)

genre: angst, fluff, crackheadassery

word count: 8.7k

warnings: unspoken feelings, reader is a coward, gratuitous amount of hugging for no apparent reason

a/n: GRRRRR i hope you’ll enjoy reading! 

( *L/N = last name, F/N = first name)

masterlist

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The grand doors to the Aoba Johsai High School barely scrape your elbow as you run through the gap straight to your class, running late and soaked in the rain. 

Morning was pretty eventful to say the least - not only had you wrongly set the alarm (somehow changing AM to PM) and completely forgotten to do some revising, but you also had not checked the forecast beforehand to prepare yourself for the brutal attack of raindrops that came your way. Bothered? Perhaps, but you couldn’t afford a walk back home for the umbrella, for you’d be more late than you already are. 

As you set foot into your classroom, everyone turns their head towards you, all kinds of expressions visible on their faces — from astonishment to disgust - all of it and all in-between. 

You simply ignore their gazes as you take a seat behind the only person you’re relatively close to — Iwaizumi. You both share a friend circle: there’s Oikawa, Iwaizumi’s childhood friend whose annoyance pushes all of you onto the edge of a cliff, Matsukawa and Hanamaki whose jokes and presence make your life a little bit brighter. As much as you love all of them equally, there’s a different feeling when it comes to Iwaizumi. It was felt back then and it is felt now. And frankly said, you don’t really know where that leads you. 

You and Iwaizumi talk sometimes - although it revolves mostly around schoolwork (as you both have the exact same classes). But it’s enough for you. It always is. Your friends pointed that years ago - how you seem to ‘favor’ him. You smacked the back of their heads. 

“L/N,” Iwaizumi turns around to greet you, only to be met with a frown and wrinkles across your forehead… oh, yes, and the badly camouflaged dark circles that lay beneath your tired eyes. You’re standing there, messenger bag draped across your body, your hair wet and the droplets dripping all over the uniform jacket.  

Before neither you nor Iwaizumi could say anything, the teacher enters the classroom. You raise your hand almost immediately and excuse yourself to the restroom. He quirks up an eyebrow at you and upon noticing your horrendous state, he curtly nods. You were quite lucky to have him arrive a tad later than usual. 

Now that you’re standing in front of the mirror, you notice just how horrible and indecent you look. You subtly shake your head and wash your face under the running tap water, not caring if it would wash off the half-assed attempt at masking fatigue. It was snippets like this when you realized how grateful you are for the times your mom still had the urge to wake you up at exact hours repeatedly, every day; it became your habit. So, it was the hunch, the inkling that something wasn’t right when your alarm didn’t go off like it normally would. You jerked up so fast it could’ve given you whiplash. 

The universe seemed to hate you and you knew it. But somehow still, your luck has pushed forward and through, and instead of being soaked wet from top to bottom, you ended up with only the upper part of your body. The weather must’ve had mercy on you as well, as it started raining half-way on your way to school. 

You splash your face with water. Over and over, and over again. It won’t alleviate the heat when you think back to your luck. You might be lucky… but not in the ways you want to.

---

“I heard your morning was rough,” is the first thing Oikawa says to you as you enter the gym. Why you thought becoming a manager was a good idea is beyond you. You thought of quitting numerous of times but then there was this small voice in the back of your mind telling you to just ‘suck it up and enjoy it while you can’ (with the addition of ‘it’s the last year with your friends before you part ways’ that has been bothering you for some months now). You were holding on because you didn’t want to let go of them completely, not yet. It might’ve been only 3 years since you’ve gotten to know them, but the way they’ve grown on you is just baffling. Baffling, yet plausible. 

You set your mouth in a straight line and nod regardless. 

Oikawa’s teasing smile disappears from his face, “Did I say—”

You sharply inhale and shake your head. “It’s all good. If you need anything, just call me or something.” Oikawa catches your wrist before you can go any further and looks you deadly in the eyes. You hate this look so much because it’s a way of getting information out of you (in your case, it’s your love life that they love to interfere in for no apparent reason). “Is this about Iwa-chan again?” 

As if on cue, Matsukawa and Hanamaki appear by each of Oikawa’s side and look at you expectantly. Cool, what are you supposed to do now? Lie? “Of course not. I just really had a shitty morning. You even said it first.”

“Okay,” Oikawa hums. You notice how both Matsukawa and Hanamaki are staying eerily quiet. “And you were avoiding him for what reason, then?”

Of course you weren’t going to lie?! Because they would have called your bullshit out anyway. “I wasn’t avoiding him…” Oikawa sends you a glare and you subconsciously wince. 

“I just needed some time figuring stuff out, I think.”

Matsukawa puts a hand on your shoulder, “L/N, how long have you liked this guy?”

“Imagine liking Iwaizumi,” Hanamaki butts in. Oikawa fist bumps him and you can’t help but roll your eyes. Are those really the ones you’ll be spilling your guts to regarding your love life? Crazy shit. 

“Uh, um, since first year, I believe?” You might’ve told them that you had a crush on Iwaizumi but you never specified since when and how big of a crush it was. 

When those words rolled off your tongue, you knew that it barely was a crush anymore.

And it seems like the guys knew it, too - you could tell especially by their widened eyes. You check the time on your left wrist and leave no room for any of them to comment anything by yelling, “Practice starts in 10!” And so, you shake off the grasp Oikawa had on your wrist and get into the ‘indifferent L/N’ mode. 

You notice Iwaizumi making his way into the gym, changed into his sports clothes and you can’t help but feel the fluttering slowly increase in your stomach. Why is it so intense today? You accidentally lock eyes with him and you turn your gaze away so fast you would have snapped your neck.

---

Practice felt insufferably long. You noticed the team’s improvement as a whole, except —as much as you don’t like to admit it— Iwaizumi who seemed a little bit more aloof than usual. His spikes, though, were as powerful as ever, you noted. As you shouldered all the necessary bags and helped the team with cleaning the equipment, Iwaizumi tapped on your shoulder, sweat trickling down his temples. His cheeks were reddened from all the jumps and spikes. “Can we talk later? I’ll… wait for you.” You widened your eyes. Your mind was screaming at you to say No, or even some type of excuse - as long as you didn’t have to face him. Much to your dismay, “Yes,” was what you let out while walking forward to the exit to the secretary. You couldn’t afford looking at him directly, who knows what would happen then, had you had stolen a glance.

On your way back to the gym to retrieve your belongings, you met Oikawa, Matsukawa and Hanamaki by the exit. You sent them a glare and went past them. “You shouldn’t waste your time. Do it while you still can.” Oikawa said as he left. Matsukawa and Hanamaki sent you a sympathetic smile before following right after him. “You’re not waiting for Iwaizumi?”

“He said he was gonna talk to you!” The thought of strangling Oikawa felt just right at the moment.

So, this is it. 

Iwaizumi is looking anywhere but at you. Honestly said, if you hadn’t known better, you would’ve deemed him as the silent and shy type of guy who would shut his mouth rather than voice his own opinions. But, you do know him better and you know that’s exactly what he’s not and, you can’t help but feel envious at the thought - he was never the type to not call out any of you guys’ bullshit. 

So, it doesn’t surprise you when you hear him say, “L/N,” you sharply inhale. “Is there something wrong? Or, like, did I do something wrong?”

You draw your bottom lip between your teeth. You want to blame all the feelings on him; it’s his fault for being the way he is, his fault for acting the way he does, his fault for making you fall head over heels for him - a fact you never dared voicing out until recently. Ultimately, you shake your head and say, “What makes you say that?” 

Mental facepalm.

Iwaizumi laughs, you can’t really tell if he meant it or if it was done out of a sarcastic manner, “Hm, aside from avoiding me all the classes and glaring at the back of my head all day, I don’t think anything in particular happened.”

You let a small smile overtake your features. “Oh, well, I did have a shitty morning. But at the same time I don’t want to blame it all on it and I’m sorry it came out the way you perceived it, and-”

Iwaizumi catches you by your shoulders and looks you so tenderly in the eyes you feel like melting from it. You look away as he says, “L/N, you’re ranting.”

You steal a glance at him and notice how his hair is messy from practice and how his cheeks are still pink-dusted. You slowly feel the redness wash over your own cheeks and you ignore the warmth that leaves you when you push Iwaizumi away. “You dumbass, you didn’t do anything wrong, so it’s all good.”

Iwaizumi tilts his head to the side. You sure? You nod and make your way towards the school gates. “Iwaizumi,” you call out, “I glare at you every single day. I’m baffled you realized now!” He catches up to you and ruffles your hair.

“Oh, you’ll be regretting those words.” He slings an arm over your shoulder as you two walk the same path home. Your heart beats a little louder and you internally berate yourself for that. You keep reminding yourself that the boundary between you two must be visible. And even if you crossed a millimeter, you’d be sure to compensate for it - whether that took lunch break spent under the bleachers, or missed practice because you ‘felt sick’ that day.

You were a coward. You were such a coward.

---

Three months later, you’re found in the library with Matsukawa. He needed help with explaining some school stuff you understood and thus, how your study date was born. You prop your chin in the palm of your left hand, the other hand twirling with a pen you found in your pencil case. You look into the distance and your gaze lands on the huge bookshelves, and you wonder if you could find an interesting book to read.

“- do I use a comma here or not?” Matsukawa asks. You hurriedly turn to him, your face softening as you ask him to reiterate the question. You knew it was probably a bad idea to stay after school and help your friend - since you’ve been unfocused and grumpy the whole school day; this session would only add more fuel to the fire. But, then you thought back to all the times when he helped you and you felt bad for not doing anything in return. 

“Uh, let me see,” you say as you grab his textbook to go over the sentence he was struggling with. Matsukawa immediately retrieves the textbook from your hands and, with a puff, closes it. Not so softly.

“L/N,” Matsukawa sighs, you notice how his hands are folded atop the textbook. “Just why are you doing this to yourself?” His voice is soft despite what he’s said. “Mattsun, we’re not here for—”

Under the intense stare he gives you, you recoil and say, “I mean, he’s going out with someone already, no? Why would I ruin that now?”

Matsukawa massages his temples and looks you dead in the eyes, his hands clasping over yours. “L/N, you’re being ridiculous now. Just look at how miserable you are!” He fixes his gaze elsewhere, the grip he has on your hands tighten a bit and you sigh in relief. He’s telling you he’s here for you. “It hurts seeing you like this, you know? The guys might not show it but, they’re hurting as much as you are. But you know it’s not our thing to say nor even our business to interfere in.”

You grin, “Fancy of you saying this while interfering in my nonexistent love life.”

Matsukawa snickers and lets go of your hand. “It’s not that nonexistent.”

You’ve always known that out of all the guys, you were a tad closer to Matsukawa. How it came to that point, you don’t really know but even without having to say it out loud, you both knew you could trust each other. You give him a smile and a reassuring nod. You’re here for him, too.

Later that night, you receive a message from Iwaizumi. The temptation to ignore it was so strong yet, somehow, you find yourself clicking on his contact and read over the message. 

From: Iwa-shit (do not interact)

> L/N! emergency! what do I wear on a formal date, the first or the second one? respond asap pls

You regret… You regret clicking on the message because it hurts - knowing there’s someone who can potentially make him happy, someone that Iwaizumi will come home to, someone that can be his forever. Above all, though, what hurts the most is that you brought all this pain upon yourself.

You look at the attached pictures: in the first one, Iwaizumi’s wearing a basic black suit, with a white dress shirt underneath the blazer and dark pants that reach above his ankles. The second is more ‘daring’ - he’s sporting a blue jean jacket with a hoodie beneath it and black jeans. You snicker at it, is this really what he considers wearing to the aforementioned formal date?

To: Iwa-shit (do not interact)

< iwaaaaa ur not serious about the second one r u?

From: Iwa-shit (do not interact)

> Lmao who do you take me for? Ofc not!

 To: Iwa-shit (do not interact)

<  what was the reason then ?!?!!

 From: Iwa-shit (do not interact)

> Bored and wanted to talk to you.

Before you could respond, though, another notification pops up on your phone, signaling someone’s messaged you, or more like, the group chat.

From: Oikawa [Seijoh’s mightiest third years]

> lmaoooo yall heard? iwa-channn is going to a wedding. now place ur bets on how long it will take him to fuck sumn up

 From: Makki [Seijoh’s mightiest third years]

> five dollars for less than an hour

 From: Mattsun [Seijoh’s mightiest third years]

> Stfu (read: 5 bucks for less than two hours we gotta have faith in him cmon)

 From: Iwaizumi [Seijoh’s mightiest third years]

> Just why.

Oh, this is the formal date? They must’ve gotten real close if Iwaizumi will be his date’s date.

You click on the chat with Iwaizumi.

From: Iwa-shit (do not interact)

> And the guys, I guess.

Another message incoming.

From: Iwa-shit (do not interact)

> Lol, don’t you just love jinxing yourself?

You send him laughing emojis. You two end up texting for some more minutes before that turns into a call and just hearing him talk about something that makes him happy is enough for you. You notice that whenever it comes to Iwaizumi, everything suddenly seems sufficient. 

You both end up talking about miscellaneous things - one of them being his date. He tells you about how he met her (through Oikawa as the date attends the same class) and what exactly led to the point where they were now. You knew he was seeing someone but hearing it directly from him made you want to rip your hair off and yell slurs at yourself, and cry into your duvets and —

And what? You need to face the reality - you’re too late now.

“L/N?” Iwaizumi asks through the phone, his voice sounding weary and tinny. You rub your eyes and yawn. “Iwaizumi, we should go to sleep. I wouldn’t want to run late to tomorrow’s date!” You try to sound as cheerful as possible. Your voice cracked at the last bit but it seems that Iwaizumi brushed it off as drowsiness. “Right. Well, thanks for talking to me, dumbass.”

“Who are you calling a dumbass? Look at you, thanking your friend for talking to you. That’s ridiculous.” 

“Look at the ungodly time, dumbass.” You do, the clock reads 2:32AM. 

“Shut up, just sleep.” And you hang up. 

You notice another message.

From: Iwa-shit (do not interact)

> I meant it, L/N. Thanks

You smirk.

To: [Seijoh’s mightiest third years]

<  five dollars it will take less than thirty minutes

 From: Oikawa [Seijoh’s mightiest third years]

> GASP game on b

A day after the date, you all gather at your and Iwaizumi’s joined desks. “So,” Oikawa starts, scrolling on his phone through the numerous posts. “Little birdie posted something and tagged Iwa-chan in it! Let’s see!”

Oikawa places the phone in the middle for everyone to see and clicks on her latest post.

The caption reads: ‘Ladies and gentlemen, it took him 28 minutes to bang his head into the stand!’  Oikawa scrolls through the pictures where the said stand was not as straight as it should be. More pictures show him standing next to his date, his smile vibrant and eyes twinkling with happiness. You notice how Iwaizumi’s smile grows bigger each time Oikawa swipes to the left. It is a sequence where he and his date look at each other with so much adoration you have to bite the inside of your cheek to not break down right then and there.

“I can’t believe you dragged my girlfriend into this.” Oikawa visibly gasps, quickly stealing a glance at you and you dare say you caught the slight look of pity in the pools of his eyes. You look away. Even Hanamaki —who enjoys teasing the hell out of you— sends you a look of indescribable mix of emotions and you just brush it off by rolling your eyes at him. You can’t lie that the tears pricking your eyes aren’t present because oh, well, they are. 

“Congratulations!” You find yourself saying a tad louder than you intended to. The three of them look at you with widened eyes, quizzical looks on their faces. You lock eyes with Matsukawa and you nod, silently telling him that you know, you know, you know. 

The ambience in the classroom gets a little bit more suffocating. “If you’ll excuse me,” you say as you make your way towards the restrooms. Why can’t you just be happy for him? Why do you hold on to something so… trivial? Do you want to lose what you already have? You repeatedly splash water over your face. 

I’m a mess, you whisper to yourself as you notice the puffy red eyes and run your hands along your cheekbones. You’re ready to curse the universe for treating you like shit because as much as you are aware of the situation, you don’t deserve to feel this way.

However, despite all of this, you know that in the end, you have no one but yourself to blame.

---

Seconds, hours, days, weeks go by and graduation seems closer than ever. Naturally, all of you have become more busy with preparing for the exams. As much as you hate to admit it, you miss them. 

It felt good the first few days; you had them off your back and you didn’t have to deal with their bullshit you’ve grown accustomed to (for some reason, and very much to your dismay). But recently, you’ve been feeling empty and you haven’t been talking that much - though, not that you minded. Typically, you four would spend the sunny afternoons in your backyard, black-tinted sunglasses protecting your eyes from the scorching hot sun. You would stuff yourselves with too much ice cream, jelly sticks of all flavors and too many yogurt drinks that had no right tasting so good. 

Once inside the house, Oikawa would lie on the table, fanning himself with the poor excuse of a textbook, Hanamaki and Matsukawa would solve like one and a half math problems and then rest on the table, too, cheeks pressed against the cold surface. Iwaizumi would prepare snacks and you’d help him with that. 

You’d notice the way he talks so mindlessly when it came to the things he liked: it being volleyball or Agedashi Tofu. You’d play some music in the background as the two of you would work on preparing the snacks. You’d feel just how dangerously close you two are when he leans over your body to retrieve a cup from the shelf. You’d be hyper aware of everything and that was one of the things you loved and hated simultaneously.

So it was quite a surprise to get a call in the middle of your study session. 

You slide to the right with your thumb, accepting the call. “L/N! My favourite person!”

“Cut the bullshit, Oinks. You need something?” You press the phone between your ear and your shoulder as you decide to cut up some fruit. “Actually, I don’t need anything.” You frown, then why did he call you? To waste your precious time? “I just wanted to let you know that the guys will be picking you up in,” a momentary pause, “like five minutes because we’ve missed you and you deserve a break from studying.”

You nearly yell at him but instead, you say, “I hate you.”

“Aw, I can feel the love!” You roll your eyes. Then comes silence. The sweet, bitter, hung-up-in-the-air silence that circles around you in vexing motions, driving you crazy.

“Look, about Iwaizumi’s relationship-”

You gasp, “Iwaizumi.” You mockingly repeat. Oikawa sighs on the other line. Right, no time for jokes. “L/N, his girlfriend makes him really happy. I honestly don’t know why I’m telling you this,” you don’t know either, “but I know you’re a good person and you wouldn’t want to ruin that. And, I know you hate people who pity you but I still feel the need to apologize-”

“You’re so embarrassing, I can’t believe you. Why should you apologize for something that was not even your fault?”

“Hm, kinda like a best friend’s duty, I dare say.” You laugh - this one’s legitimately genuine. “You can be, uh, bearable sometimes.” Oikawa guffaws so loudly you have to put your phone away from you to not get an ear-rape. “I’ll use that against you, ugly.”

“Just say you love me and go,” You jokingly say, not expecting the latter to say the words. 

“Now, say it back,” he whines. All you let out, though, is an incomprehensible screech and a ‘See you there!’, and end the call. 

Subconsciously, you might just have said them.

The doorbell resounds throughout the whole house and you run to the front door, peeping through the hole to see who decided to pay you a visit. You see Hanamaki and Matsukawa waving at you.  

You open the door, the wind sending a refreshing swoosh to your hair and you smile upon seeing the two boys before you. “You look kinda scary when you smile,” Matsukawa says as you threaten to hit him with your palm outstretched. Hanamaki doesn’t seem unfazed by your antics as he asks,“Oikawa probably called you, no?”  

You nod and get out of the doorway so that they can enter the house. “As usual, make yourself at home and you can steal some cut fruit in the kitchen.” 

Five minutes later, you descend the stairs in your jogging pants and short-sleeved shirt. They didn’t tell you where you were going so you went with something casual yet comfortable.

Putting on your shoes, you lock the front door and catch up to the two that went ahead. You notice how both of them are wearing casual clothes as well - but unlike someone, they had the formality to at least wear jeans. You’re walking by Hanamaki’s left side, flanking him with Matsukawa on the other. “So, where are you two dragging me?”

Hanamaki turns to you and with a saccharinely sweet smile and elbows you lightly in the ribs. “It’s a secret~” You return the gesture with a little more strength than you wanted - hence, Hanamaki unintentionally pushing into Matsukawa’s side, nearly flying him into the fence of someone’s house if he hadn’t braced himself for the impact. 

“Wow, L/N, if you’re mad, just tell us, damn,” Hanamaki rubs his ribs, dramatically hissing in pain. You roll your eyes but apologize regardless. “You good, Mattsun?” He nods at your question and you send him a contrite look of sorts. 

“Is it just me or have you gotten a bit more aggressive?” Hanamaki nudges into your shoulder and you send him a questioning look - brows furrowed and a bottom lip tucked between your teeth. “Huh?”

Hanamaki sighs, “I don’t know, ever since Iwaizumi announced his relationship or whatever, you’ve been tense around him… avoiding him, too.Us, too… kinda.”

You look into the distance, noticing a building that you know all too well, “You know, Makki, you seem to notice a lot of things despite your unattentive nature.”

“I am,” Hanamaki inhales theatrically, “offended.”

 “As you should be, honestly.” Matsukawa elbows him in the ribs. Hanamaki turns to him, “Just because L/N hurt my ribs from the left side doesn’t mean the right side needs to be damaged, too!”

“You spend too much time with Oikawa,” You tsk, letting out an airy laugh. 

“Don’t tell me we’re gonna have to sit through Oikawa’s karaoke session again,” You slap your forehead. You knew that the two boys you are currently with didn’t propose this idea - if anything, they must’ve been forced into this… as would be you and Iwaizumi. Of course. It’s a tradition after all.

“Yep,” Matsukawa shrugs. “But look on the bright side, you can yell whatever to appease your anger you’ve been bottling up.” You glare at him and he raises both of his hands up in mock-surrender.

Hanamaki catches your wrist and motions Matsukawa to enter the building first. He complies. “Listen, we just want the squad back on its good terms, so we’ll hope you’ll talk it out today.” You slowly nod, ready to take off to the building behind Matsukawa. “One more thing,” Hanamaki loosens the grip on your wrist. “Remember that Iwaizumi was a friend first before he was your first love.”

You stiffen. Were those the words you’d always needed to hear but they’d never occurred to you? Iwaizumi was a friend first before he was your first love. 

Something clicks. 

How could you have been so selfish; wallow in your self-pity, run in circles because all you could do was to remind yourself that this was your fault, your reality now? How could you have been so reckless, risking years of friendship on the line?

“You coming?” Hanamaki yells, palms cupped around his mouth. You nod, slowly reaching the building. 

---

Five karaoke sessions (and a very enthusiastic Oikawa-singing) later, you plump down on the couch, wiping the perspiration off your forehead. It’s tiring - watching Oikawa giving his all to convey the right feelings into the song. You must admit, he sure is passionate; it’s almost as if you were watching him play volleyball - except with a mic in his hand instead that he wouldn’t throw around… hopefully. 

As the song nears its end, you all let out a breath of relief, a mix of annoyance, boredom, and tiredness hanging in the stuffy air. You let yourself sink further into the sofa, hoping it could swallow you whole and erase your existence. 

Okay, maybe you should tone down being so pessimistic.

“How was I?” Oikawa asks, eyes sparkling. His hair is unkempt from all the unnecessary movements he made during the climax of the song and his cheeks are painted a rosy hue - you note even with the flashing lights casting every color across his face. 

You smirk, “Not bad.” 

Oikawa frowns at your response, tightening his grip on the mic. “What do you mean ‘not bad’? After everything I’ve done for you? I see how it is, you’re gonna hear me sing again—”

You steal a glance at Iwaizumi. You notice how he’s staring at the door, probably wishing he were anywhere else but here. Hanamaki comes into your line of sight and you motion him to do anything to catch Iwaizumi’s attention, thus Hanamaki getting buried alive as he slaps the back of Iwaizumi’s head. He glowers at Hanamaki, already rolling up his sleeves.

Hanamaki points in your direction and you catch Iwaizumi’s green eyes that glisten a little bit brighter in the excessively flashing-lit room. With your thumb, you point to the exit and he nods, a look of relief washes over his features.

Once outside the suffocating room, you inhale the fresh air. Summer is just around the corner and even though it was your favourite season, you can’t help but indulge yourself in the chilliness before it changes its course for the next three months.

“Uh, good day, yeah?” Iwaizumi shoves his hands into his jeans’ front pockets, admiring the gravelly ground. He’s put some distance between you two.

“Sure, if being forced into this activity with Oikawa is a good thing.” 

Iwaizumi chuckles, “It’s our thing, L/N, and you know it.” You nod and purse your lips in a straight line because well, he made it awkward for no reason. Or was it you for saying something so obvious?

“How are the exam preparations coming along? Dream college or something like that?” You fiddle with the hem of your shirt, looking past Iwaizumi’s shoulder at passersby.

“Could be better but so far no mental breakdowns.” You can hear the sarcasm laced in his voice as he speaks. “Was thinking about sports science ‘cause you know, it hurts me to watch athletes injure themselves.”

“Hajime, you’re a good person.” The words tumble out of your lips before you can stop yourself; it felt too unnatural to not say it. Iwaizumi barks a laugh. “You, too, F/N.”

You grin, “Obviously.” If you truly meant it or not, you didn’t know.

Comfortable ambience surrounds you both as you let the wind carry out the unsaid words. 

You were never a person of many words - you’ve alway been a little too blunt, a little too hotheaded, a little too selfish. Although in most of the cases you were not aware, it was about damn time you got your head out of your ass and looked around yourself.

“I’m sorry.” You mutter, hoping it would cover all the damage you caused (and fully knowing that would not be the case).

Iwaizumi looks up, eyes searching yours. He quirks his eyebrow in a silent question. 

You reconsider your words. “I’m sorry for not spending that much time with you. I know we’re not bound to each other or anything but I just felt like… maybe it was better for the both of us? I mean, we’re graduating in less than two months and … yeah.”

“Oh, so that’s why. I thought you were avoiding me,” he scratches the back of his neck, tilting his head. “You also haven’t been showing up to practice anymore so I thought…”

Right. Of course.

“Well, I managed to lure this first year into taking over my duties for the time being that I figure my shit out, you know?” 

Iwaizumi mock-gasps you. “You’re so irresponsible.” You roll your eyes as some sort of retort.

“Come here.”

You look up in horror; his arms are outstretched and there’s an evil smile strewn across his face. “What do you want to do, Iwaizumi.”

“Dumbass, just give me a hug,” he says as he steps forward and catches you off-guard by encircling his muscular arms around your shoulders, squashing your face in the crook of his neck. He pats your back in a steady rhythm, your arms unmoving by your sides. “Come to practice and let that first-year breathe, will you?”

You let a small smile snake its way onto your face. “After all, this is what you say?”

“Priorities,” he hums, holding you still in his embrace. You groan in pseudo-annoyance as you lightly punch his stomach to get him away from you, only to no avail. “Cute of you to even try, now hug your friend back or I’m not letting you go.”

You sigh, “Everyone sounds like Oikawa, just how much extra time have you all been spending together?”

“Maybe if you had tagged along, you would have sounded just like us, too.”

“Is that really a win?” You say as your arms weakly encircle his waist, ghosting over it. “Now, let me go, you sap.” 

Iwaizumi infinitesimally tightens his grip around your shoulders. “I would never.”

You flutter your eyes close against his shirt, your forehead pressed against his shoulder. You notice it was quite similar to something you had with Matsukawa - some kind of reassurance that they were here for you no matter what. Whether Iwaizumi meant it in that sense or not, you let yourself drop your build-up guard as you snuggle deeper into the comfort of his embrace and mutter a ‘thank you’ you hope he caught.

---

“Hajime!” You look up, your hand with the pen halting on the clipboard sitting on your forearm. 

The person in question runs up to the girl and hooks her hands around his neck as he twirls her around in front of his teammates that look surprisingly apathetic.

“She keeps coming to his practice, why does he act like it’s always the first time?” You hear Kunimi mutter by your right and you send him an eyebrow raise to which he responds with a scowl. You wince. Kids these days.

Kindaichi bows and apologizes on Kunimi’s behalf. You wave him off with a half-smile and ruffle his hair, saying how great his blocks were. 

“I will do my best!” He says as he dashes off onto the court, meeting up with the rest of the teammates. You catch Oikawa’s concentrated face as he gives the second years some advice on spiking. You smile fondly to yourself; there truly was not a better captain; leader. 

“L/N-san,” the first-year tugs at your jacket, you nod in acknowledgment, prodding her on. “I’ll have to go now, so if you'll excuse me.”

“Of course! Thank you so much for helping me! Have a great day!” The first-year bows and leaves the gym with a wave. You reciprocate it with an added smile.

The girl from earlier approaches you in light-weight steps, her uniform neatly ironed, you noted. She has her hair in a high ponytail and you notice how stunning she is. “These guys can be really mean on the court, no?”

It takes you embarrassingly long enough to understand that she’s talking to you. “Oh… uh, yeah. They can get aggressive.”

“How long have you been a manager?” She suddenly asks, eyes sparkling with interest.

“Ever since I became a first-year, so three years now.” You answer, noticing how she’s clicking her tongue against the roof of her mouth. “I can’t even imagine how bad must it be for your mental health to deal with these brats.”

Oh. “Hm, if you’re used to hearing their bullshit everyday, I’m sure you’d be just fine.” She laughs genuinely. You subconsciously tighten your hold on the clipboard. 

“Maybe,” she mutters, her gaze landing on Iwaizumi who spikes the ball set to him specifically by Oikawa onto the opponent’s court, adding a point to his team. 

“Honestly I admire you for that.” You stay still because… what else is there to do? “As much as I’ve always wanted to be one, I don’t think I’d be good at it, and it’s too late for me, anyway.” She dry-laughs, the sadness clearly woven into her voice. 

“I can show you some things if you want. It’s mostly paperwork but there’s also—” (the habit of talking before thinking was getting out of hands now)

She eagerly nods as you hand her your clipboard you’ve been writing into the whole time. The coach sends you a questioning look but you wave him off, mouthing ‘okay’, ‘no problem’ and everything in between.

As you two work in silence - you showing her the basics and the fundamentals, and her nodding everything off and asking questions (which reminds you of the first-year that you were lucky to find because, let’s be real, who would be so excited over taking the responsibilities?), you both don’t notice Iwaizumi watching you two interact, thinking how two of his favorite people are conversing.

And that’s how he gets zonked. In the head. By Oikawa. 

Before you could run off to check up on Iwaizumi, she catches your wrist. “He’ll be okay in no time.”

You let your jaw drop. “W-what…”

“Just look at him, this happens all the time, don’t worry.”

“But it’s my responsibility—”

“Look out, L/N!!!” You turn towards the voice, for the first time in your life catching the ball... with your face. And as you hit the ground, blackness is the only thing that surrounds you.

Your head is spinning, the pain pounding against your skull. You’re lying on a bed, the headrest slightly raised. You bring a hand up to your face, feeling just how much it is swollen beneath your fingertips. “You’ll be okay,” the nurse says, cleaning up the supplies. “It’ll take some time healing; you got a pretty severe hit.”

“Yeah,” you let out, defeated. “What about Iwaizumi?” 

“Ah, yeah, he’s just left. He’s okay, if that’s what you’re wondering.” You let out a sigh of relief. Just what the hell happened? You throw a forearm over your forehead and flutter your eyes close, indulging in the way the mattress beneath your body feels nice. Before you know it, you slip into the dreamland.

;

The practices have been less and less rigorous, considering the fact that the third years prioritized their decent marks rather than ‘some hobby’ (“L/N! How could you say that!” Oikawa whined on one fine day, tugging at your sleeve. Iwaizumi sent you a glare that day.). After all, they could’ve retired after losing to Karasuno but Oikawa was rigid, and someone had to lead the team for the little time that they had left.

You also have been seeing Iwaizumi’s girlfriend come to his practices, cheering him on or completely shattering his ego. They fit one another really well; she was there to ground him if he got too aggressive. Their natures seemed to clash in the right way. You swallow the bile rising up your throat.

No.

“L/N!” You turn to the voice, noticing it was her. You wave at her. This has become some kind of routine you both fell into, with the rest of the team as well. “How’s school?” She asks out of the blue and you weigh out the options: to answer or to digress. Why would she start a small talk, considering you two aren’t relatively that close yet? 

You ignore the nonsensical thoughts your mind loves conjuring up.

“Good.”

She nods, averting her gaze as she bits on her bottom lip. You two watch the game before you.

(Eventually, these little small talks turn into full-on hangouts on Fridays with the guys tagging along. And maybe, maybe your assumptions were wrong, after all.)

━━━━━━━━━━━━

“I can’t believe we’ve made it.” You sniffle into your sleeve as you hold tightly onto the tube with the graduation certificate in it. The school gymnasium is teeming with sweaty bodies of graduates, holding onto their own tubes. Everyone’s chattering so loud it makes your head turn. 

Oikawa nudges your shoulder and with a blinding smile says, “We really did, L/N-san.”

You grin and turn your body to him, catching him off-guard as you hug his middle, fake-sniffling into his uniform. “Don’t pry my hands off, this is my love language.” Oikawa gasps but you can feel him lean into the embrace, resting his chin on your shoulder. 

“Hey,” you lift your shoulder he’s resting his chin on. He hums in acknowledgement. “You did really well, Oikawa-san. I respect you so much, Oikawa-san. You have worked very hard-”

Oikawa jerks away from your warmth, holding you by your shoulders at an arm’s length. “You mean this, L/N-san?” He challenges you.

You flick his forehead. “Obviously not. Except the last part.”

Oikawa gets into a ranting mode as you look around the gymnasium, spotting numerous familiar faces. You send them a smile and a wave. On the other side of the gym, you spot Iwaizumi with his girlfriend by his side. Their arms are locked as they converse with Matsukawa and Hanamaki. 

You notice the way Iwaizumi snakes an arm around her waist, probably trying to keep her as close as possible. Ah yeah, of course. Iwaizumi has always been a little too overprotective when it came to the people he cared for. You smile upon the fact; he was a bit too good for this world, although it might not seem so to strangers. But that was the beauty of it all, how only you — among the others he cared for—  could see his true colors.

“L/N?” You look up. “Are you sure you’re fine? I mean it makes me really sad just seeing you so… sullen.” The tears are pricking your eyes. Why is Oikawa being like this?

“Tooru, I hate you so much.” You grab onto his jacket as he instinctually grabs a hold of your shoulders, slamming you against his chest. “Why are you like this.”

He tsks, “No, why are you like this?”

You let yourself indulge in the warmth and comfort of his embrace, tuning the world out for a second. “Thank you for the years. I mean it.” 

“Now, now, why are you such a sap? Look,” he points behind you, “Mattsun and Makki are here!”

You scramble away from his hold, patting at your uniform as you pretend everything prior to this was just a hallucination, an illusion. “You two, can you believe this? L/N is so emotional it makes me cry, too.”

You grumble in embarrassment. “Let me be. I do have the right to be emotional. How are you not crying? You won’t get to see me anymore.”

Hanamaki joins the conversation. “I think that’s why none of us are crying.” Oikawa barks a laugh as he steadies himself on Hanamaki’s shoulder. You turn to Matsukawa, expecting some sort of back-up. “I mean, he didn’t lie…”

You pout. “Betrayal.”

“I knew you always had a favorite!” Hanamaki exclaims with his arms crossed over his chest. Oikawa stops laughing, already rolling his sleeves up, albeit unsuccessfully. “Unbelievable. I thought we didn’t play favorites?”

“We don’t!” You exclaim with as much rage. 

Matsukawa steps into your personal space as he engulfs you in a bear hug, carding his fingers through your hair. “What are you doing?”

“You don’t have to lie to them,” Matsukawa says as he too-sweetly smiles at the remaining boys. 

“Scandalous,” Oikawa says, hands already clenched in fists by his side. Hanamaki catches him by his middle. “Losers.” 

You snake your hands into the inside of Matsukawa’s jacket and tickle him. “Ow,” He jerks away from you and sends you a glare. You only smile in return. 

“You know,” Hanamaki starts, “you have never given me a hug.”

You widen your eyes because first of all, he’s absolutely right and second of all, why did he have the need to say it out loud and so… straightforwardly? Does he have no shame? You also hate the fact that your brain tends to short-circuit every time someone’s being too explicit and your body reacts a tad faster before you can realize it - naturally, your cheeks redden and you bring the tube to your cheeks to soothe the redness that is not going away. “Takahiro, shut!”

He shrugs. “For real, Oikawa hugs you like, all the time. Matsukawa does, too, which is surprising,” Matsukawa yells ‘Hey, I can be nice!’ , “and god, don’t get me started on Iwaizumi.

It’s as if Oikawa was made for this. His ears perk up at the mention of his childhood friend as he wiggles his eyebrows at you. “What?” You roll your eyes, wishing for some silence, freedom, ‘get me out of here’s.

“You were saying, huh?” Oikawa leans into Hanamaki, their shoulders bumping. “Get off me, you creep.” 

Oikawa has this whole ‘lost-puppy-in-the-streets’ look going on and you almost give in to the temptation to comfort him. But bruh, nah, he’s a big boy. “Anyway back to our Iwaizumi!

“We all know he’s not affectionate, right, he’d punch us in the guts and say something like, I don’t hate y’all. But!” You flinch upon the raised voice. “When it comes to our not-that best and not-that impressive and stupid and dumb—” 

“We get it!” You say, looking awfully bothered by it (not that it actually bothered you, haha, nope).

“He’s kinda soft. It’s totally different with his girlfriend but yeah.” 

The rest of you eye each other. This was so not happening. “Did you just analyze this whole meaningless shit,” Matsukawa deadpans. 

“Had to justify my lack of L/N Hugs.”

You slap your forehead. “Hanamaki, what the fuck even--” In that exact moment, you’re thrown in Hanamaki’s way, his arms instinctually wrapping themselves around your shoulders as you try stopping the momentum that could possibly make you both fall onto the hard, stepped-on by not-clean shoes and totally not-dusty ground. 

“Is this a new way of hugging or something?” A voice asks from behind you and Hanamaki in each other’s awkward embrace. There stands Iwaizumi with his girlfriend by his side, an  ever-so-wide smile strewn across their faces. “At least I got my hug.” Hanamaki unwraps his arms around you, completely disregarding you as he drops you to the ground. 

“I feel so used.” You wipe at your metaphorical tear in the corner of your eye. As you’re about to hoist yourself up, a hand appears before you. 

Without any second thoughts, you take it and with the person’s help, you lift yourself up from the ground. “Thanks, ‘Zumi.”

“Hm, you never gave me a nickname.” It sounds like he’s pondering over the words except he just accidentally said them out loud. You notice your friend group a feet away, chattering animatedly with other classmates, Iwaizumi’s girlfriend somewhere in the far corner chatting with her girl friends. Great, you two, just what you wanted. 

You swear to god that you caught the three close friends of yours sending you unsubtle glances, making gestures, clowning, whatever. You shake your head.

“Something on your mind, L/N?” You divert your gaze to the ground. After all this time, why does your heart skip a beat faster whenever you’re the only ones around? 

“I,” you start, fiddling with your fingers, the tube safely tucked under your arm. “I never got the chance to properly thank you for the years.”

Iwaizumi raises an eyebrow. A second, two, three pass by. He’s waiting. “Uh,” you straighten your back and hold the tube with both of your hands to stop them from shaking so damn much. At this point they could become engines with which you could drive around the neighborhood. “I told the guys already,” you point at them with your thumb, “so don’t feel special or anything.”

He smiles and that encourages you to keep going. “Well, I don’t think you know but I’m like, the biggest fan of you.” He sends you a knowing look. Oh, so you’re a fan of him?

“Of you all. And I might not have shown it as much but it’s the truth. I can’t even imagine how hard you all must’ve worked to get where you are. Your strategies, your excellent thinking, your intelligence, your view on things - it’s all so impressive to me and I wanna let you know that whatever you’ll choose in the end, just know this high school time was crucial to your growth.” 

Silence. Did you say something wrong? Maybe it’s taking him some time to absorb, digest the whole word vomit you just let out. What’s filtering anyway.

“L/N, you know,” Iwaizumi averts his eyes to the high ceiling, the sunlight smiling down on you two. “I don’t think you should be saying this to me.”

You shake your head. “I promise I’ve already told him and I’ll let him know later again, but now, this,” you gesture to the air between the two of you, “is about you so stop selling yourself short. I thought you were over this.”

Iwaizumi quirks his lips up in a half-smile, eyes sparkling with an emotion you could actually tell - gratefulness. “See, I didn’t lie when I said you were a good person.” 

You shoot him one of your best smiles, “Could say the same about you, sir.”

“Hey, you two! You going?” Oikawa yells from the other side of the room, pointing at both of you. He’s nearing the exit with the rest of the third years, still facing you. You give him a thumbs up and the last thing you see is the undoubted significant smile that had no ulterior motives. “So, we going?” Iwaizumi points to the exit, the hall slowly but surely emptying each passing minute. 

“You go ahead, I still have something left to do.” Iwaizumi looks suspicious but after relentless bickering, he gave up and said he’d be waiting outside, somewhere near the school, you’ll find him eventually.

As you’re left alone in the emptied gym, you cannot help but think of the times when you first got to know the guys that you now call your best friends. 

Awkward, embarrassed, clueless.

You were reluctant to join, for: firstly, what did you know about volleyball? Secondly, you were really not looking for any friends, so how come it ended up the way you didn’t plan to, yet you were never more grateful? What would’ve happened had you not decided to join the volley club as a manager?

You’d like to believe you were in-one-way-or-another lucky. You never questioned your luck, never questioned your fate. You believed in the universe - although you knew it had a very obvious, blatant dislike to you. Ignoring all of that, you went with the flow.

People come and go. Friends come and go. You are aware.

These lingering feelings? It hurts.

It hurts but that’s only because you were never brave enough to let them out. This was a choice you could’ve chosen. You didn’t have to wait for a miracle to appear in front of you and make you say all the words you’d always felt too scared to say.

Hadn’t it been for Oikawa, Matsukawa and Hanamaki, would you have been able to even fall in love with Iwaizumi in the first place?

Right, you did attend the same class but would the bond have been as strong as it is now?

No matter what, Iwaizumi was a friend first and although it hurts, you need to move on. One way or another.

“C’mon, L/N! We won���t get to any food if we dilly-dally any longer!” Iwaizumi shouts to you from the other side and you bite your lip to prevent the megawatt smile from spreading across your face.

It hurts.

It hurts so much, but the least you can do is to cherish him in the ways you can.

Cherish him as a friend.