#but also as a poodle owner I can tell you that they are some of the most loving and friendly dogs on the planet

[nightmareonpeachstreet]

self-indulgent headcanon time:

I headcanon that Furina has 2 dogs. their names are Philippe and Jeanne Marie, they're poodles and they're treated like doggy royalty.

Neuvillette gave her her first puppy hundreds of years ago and ever since then it's been absolutely vital to make sure she always has at least 1 dog in her care at all times. They're basically her emotional support animals and she probably couldn't go a single day without them unless you want to deal with the ensuing meltdown.

she'll take this secret to her grave, but the reason she loves dogs so much is because she never feels judged by them, or like they secretly think she's incompetent and a failure. they simply just love her for what she is.

[teecupangel]

As someone who very recently came into possession of a labradoodle who is more poodle than lab, how about that for dog!des? Specifically the fact that their fur is a fucking nightmare to deal with if not brushed regularly. Like twice a day regularly.

(We’ve been making fun of Malik for a while now so let’s change things up)

Shaun was an awful owner.

Truly.

He should never be in charge of any pet at all.

Desmond felt like his second life as a labradoodle is his own personal hell than a chance for a second life.

Forget about his plans to become the most awesome Assassin dog once he grew bigger.

He wasn’t going to survive his life as a puppy because the new mentor (some dude named Elijah) ordered Shaun and Rebecca to take care of him.

Okay.

Rebecca was awesome.

She never forgot his meal time. She walk him around the little suburban compound they were staying at the moment every morning and every afternoon. She let him run around the house and threw balls for him to chase (look, Desmond learned early on that he cannot fight certain canine urge, it was part of the whole “I got reincarnated into a dog” deal).

But she was, and Desmond could not stress this enough, nine months pregnant since last week.

Desmond couldn’t even wrap his head around the whole “yeah, Shaun and Rebecca are now married and soon will have their first kid” thing.

So…

Rebecca was ordered by a doctor named Chewy to rest and to not do any stressful and/or strenuous activities.

And, according to Shaun, Desmond was a stressful and strenuous activity.

First of all, fuck Shaun.

Second of all, Chewy also told Rebecca to try and move around the house and Desmond accompanied her whenever she did and, not once, did Rebecca call him a stress fur ball (like Shaun).

Third of all, Desmond knew that Shaun was actually the most stressed among the three of them. He was worried about Rebecca and he was still doing work for the Brotherhood.

But still…

“What happened to you? Why is your fur like this?”

He was so awful at taking care of Desmond.

He didn’t forget meal time (thank god) but that was because they timed his meal time at the same time as their meal time. Rebecca reminded Shaun to eat with her each time and Shaun automatically prepares Desmond’s food during that time (according to Rebecca, the mentor told them that Desmond cannot eat dog food so Desmond’s food is usually rice, some kind of meat and a bit of vegetables that are okay for him to eat, all… not seasoned at all but Desmond can deal with that)

Walk though… Desmond had to bark at Shaun just to remind him to walk him. One time, Shaun was in the middle of a debate (via messenger) with one of Erudito’s hackers and Desmond just gave up and peed on his leg.

No.

Desmond was not embarrassed. He lost all semblance of human embarrassment when he first had to shit on the grass while Rebecca was watching.

Now, all he felt was smugness whenever Shaun would sigh but grab his jacket so they could take a walk.

But Shaun’s worst offense was his inability to remember Rebecca telling him that Desmond needs to be brushed often.

Like…

At least twice a day.

Thrice would be better.

Rebecca usually brushed him after every meal and after their walk.

Because she knew how much of a nightmare his fur would become if it wasn’t properly cared.

But Shaun.

Shaun kept forgetting it and Desmond had to sit still while Shaun grumbled as he brushed his fur.

Seriously…

Desmond was honestly worried that Shaun would have this much trouble caring for their future baby.

Desmond would probably have to step up as the dog nanny.

Yippee.

[funkyfurymalissa]

HELLO THERE! ARE YOU READY FOR FUNKY TIMES?!

+. Welcome aboard this blog! which is dedicated to my project of a fan spin-off series of the Parappa The Rapper franchise, Funky Fury Malissa. Featuring a new protagonist with "Malissa Rappa" ,original characters, teachers, rivals and more..

+. I made this blog to share my process on working in the project and receive questions about the characters on the way! I won't make this series into a game though. not only because Sony are becoming the next Nintendo with Fan-games but, also going such thing will require experience and budget. which I got NEITHER. but, I can draw and write, which is what I shall use to tell the story of the series! in a visual novel type of style, dialogue of characters, actions and of course, LYRICS of the songs.

+.As stated before, this series is STILL a WIP, which means I've yet to finish/Finalize the designs of characters and elements of the story (mostly the teachers) so, I'll always pinpoint the stuff that are unfinished/finalized with a note with brackets. Also this Post will be updated manually, adding more references and information about the series.

Mission Statement?

+. Malissa Rappa, a funky gal from Origami city is trying to win the heart of her beloved crush, Berzack Bandicoot, however there are MANY obstacles in her way! starting from her rival in love, "Fuzzle Cuddle" to a Group of thugs fro hell.. to.. a giant polygon face that's trying to take over the City?! boy, those are lots of obstacles. but, not something that will keep this funky dog from moving forward, Keeping her head on and facing all the challenges with her funky gorgeous singing and HER fury metal rings! will she grant her dream? only one way to find out.

Characters (40% finished):

————————————★★★————————————

+.THE MAIN FOUR: (Finalized)

+.THE RIVAL: (Almost finalized, Missing the introduction card and thief-outfit display)

Fuzzle Cuddle is Italian poodle working as a secretary to the owner of the biggest Jewelry company in Origami City, she retails a very bubbly and narcissistic air-headed personality, she's also into the electric piano player, Berzack, whom she always tries to impress, whether by playing a heroic act in the sweet beard burger, or flashing showcasing her super limo 9000.. atleast, that's what she does in the day time.

In night, she goes by her alter ego name "Diamond Candle", a skilled thief that's always targeting the riches and robbing them from their precious and delicate jewelry for fun. accompanies by her partners in crime, Gaster and Groover, (they also have code names but I've yet to come up with them lol) who also have a foot in the world of thievery.

+.The Teachers/rivals (20% finished, No references, still conceptualizing most of them, some names are placeholder. all what you gotta know is that some of them will be like parallels to parappa's teacher with tweaks. )

King E Roo: A kangaroo that owns a private boxing Club

Krash Pitch: Karma's mother and a racer car instructor

Nicky Picky: a white-square headed cat who works as a barista in "sweet beard burger"

Narissa RaParra: Malissa's Monochrome copy and the leader of the retired band, "BornEye".

Grand Polygon: some giant Floaty face thing built of of instruments. it has the ability to hypnotize people.

+. Others (10% finished, once again missing introduction card, gallery and design for the other bg worker.)

(note: this character's importance will be FULLY explored in "funky fury malissa 2" o, I won't spoil anything about his story. though, I thought mentioning him because he's kinda like a BG character now.)

Miguel Nosso: the current heir of the MOST successful restaurants in ALL of Origami city, "sweet beard burger". He's the manager of the resturant and mostly found in the kitchen, baking cakes for costumers while his workers serve the desserts.

the branch was originally initiated by "beard burger" in order to expand his brand across the globe, taking Europe as the first stock to market it. the Resturant was Run by one of Miguel's other uncle "Sweet Nosou", and it did QUITE awful on it's first few decades of launch. Sweet Nosou negotiated with beard burger to change the Resturant's direction from burgers to dessert as an experiment. a decision that fruited with good results, thus "Beard Burger EU" was changed to "SWEET BEARD BURGER".

Tama AIpple: an anthro tomato headed girl who also works in sweet beard burger.

————————————★★★————————————

now that's all established, here's the the rules of sending eml- Oh, I'm sorry, "SHOUT!!"

While I do not mind suggestive question (the entire cast are adults), please keep them minimal.

absolutely NO NSFW or fetish-related questions, this also include major gore.

If you're asking a character, please refer to them by name so I know who's receiving the question

If I take long on answering your question, my apologies. I'm not ignroing you, I'm either busy with other stuff or burnt-out.

Finally, if you made it to this point, thank you so much for taking your time to read this mess I wrote. have fun!

[purplebass]

Deal With It - Thomastair

Hey all :) this is the third Thomastair story featured in my collection of self-indulgent fics. This is also set post CoT, and Thomas and Alastair have to dog sit Oscar for a few days. I wanted to write this for Alastember @alastair-appreciation-month because last time I posted my fic, I forgot to tag the blog 😅

Read on A03 💜

“Remind me again why we agreed to this.”

Alastair frowned at the big golden beast flanking his left side. To his annoyance, it was walking between him and Thomas, and wagging its tail. 

He had to admit Oscar had an air of elegance about him. Sometimes, it even reminded Alastair of his owner. But the graceful dog was still splashing muddy water all over the bottom of his pants and polished shoes, and it irritated him. He couldn’t blame the retriever, though. It rained cats and dogs the night before, and Hyde Park bore the signs of the downpour even worse than the city streets. He will have to deal with it.

Thomas rolled his eyes. “Because we are good friends,” he answered with a smile, but Alastair scoffed. 

“He asked us just to spite me,” Alastair said, pretending to be bothered. “He probably hopes his dog will make a mess of our house and aggravate my mood.”  

Thomas could tell he wasn’t being serious, but he still nodded. Alastair knew that Oscar was a great and quiet dog. “That’s definitely why he asked us to keep Oscar for a few days, definitely,” he said. “He couldn’t take him to the salon shows in Paris. Animals are not allowed.”

“Why should he go to Paris to get clothes? There are competent tailors in London,” he looked down at his dark clothes as if that was the answer. He tried not to linger on his ruined pants. 

“True, but you know Matthew,” Thomas argued, stopping abruptly when a dog appeared out of nowhere and came closer to Oscar to sniff him. “He only wants the best and the finest. London is boring when it comes to fashion. Look at us.”

“Speak for yourself, Tom,” Alastair raised an eyebrow, teasing him. “I like my blacks. Black is an elegant color and it suits any occasion. And it is the shadowhunters’ favorite color. Even Fairchild must wear black when he goes to patrol.”

“And he hates wearing it,” he replied knowingly, and Alastair was amused. Thomas shook his head and decided to sit on a bench that was luckily dry. “What do you say, Oscar? Is your owner grumpy when he has to wear black?” Oscar looked at Thomas after hearing its name, and then sat down on the ground. “I believe we should unhook his leash,” Thomas proposed. “He may want to socialize with other dogs.”

“What if he runs away and we have to run after him?” 

“Are you worried about Matthew’s dog now?”

“I’m just worried about doing a sprint on an empty stomach to go after an animal,” Alastair defended, not being completely honest. He would go after Oscar for sure.

Thomas frowned at his boyfriend. “I doubt he will escape, but in case he does, I will run after him. Do not worry,” he patted his arm lightly. “Alright, Oscar,” he conceded, and unhooked the leash. The dog, realizing he was free, stood up from the ground and walked to the patch of green in front of them. “It is time for you to sniff some grass or some other dog’s back,” Thomas finished, as Oscar started familiarizing with a small poodle.

Alastair chuckled, and Thomas did the same. “I don’t know why, but it amuses me how dogs can be so unrespectful when it comes to invading other dogs’ space. I wonder if he asked the other dog if he could sniff the backside. What an ungentlemanly thing to do. They also trust anyone who gives them a treat.”

“May I remind you that he is a dog,” Thomas objected with a giggle. “That is how it works for him. He gets acquainted with other dogs by smelling them.”

“Imagine if people had to do that to get acquainted with other people,” he considered, then shook his head in distaste. “I’m thankful it doesn’t work like that for people. I would be uncomfortable approaching someone like that.”

“Your approach is more cat-like,” Thomas asserted thoughtfully, and Alastair turned to gaze at him, his interest piqued. “You need to trust and feel safe with the other person before you rub yourself against them or touch their nose gently, or purr –”

“We are in a public place, Tom,” Alastair’s ears turned crimson and he looked around to see if someone overheard them. 

“I don’t think I said anything inappropriate,” Thomas tilted his head on the side. “I was talking about a cat's body language.”

Alastair was about to answer when a man dressed in a maroon suit approached them. “Excuse me, sirs,” he said. “Is that handsome golden retriever yours?”

“It isn’t –” Alastair began. 

“It is,” Thomas corrected him. “Did Oscar do something wrong?”

“Oh no, absolutely not,” the man grinned. “I was admiring the big guy. He has charisma and I can tell from here that his fur is beautiful.”

“Yes, I guess,” Thomas replied, managing a smile. 

“I was wondering if I could take a photograph of him with you,” he said. “My editor is going to publish a book about dogs and their owners. We will also feature their stories.”

Alastair noticed he had a brownie camera in his hands. He exchanged a glance with Thomas. “How do you feel about it?” 

“I say yes,” he agreed with a soft smile. “You?”

“Let’s do it,” he nodded. “Oscar, come here!” To his surprise, he didn’t have to call the dog twice.

“We look so good,” Alastair commented a few weeks later, when they picked up the photographs from the studio. “I wonder how long it will take for the book to come out. Probably a year.”

“What, now you’re curious? I thought you didn’t care about dogs.”

“I never said that,” he shrugged. “I just prefer cats, that is all.”

Thomas muttered a mmmh. “Oscar is such a good model,” he said. “Do you plan on giving this to Math?” he wondered, showing the single photo featuring only Oscar.

“We have a photograph with Oscar,” he replied. “He can have the other one if he wants, unless you want to keep it?”

“I bet Matthew will be happy to have Oscar’s photo,” Thomas said. “We have our own photo with the dog and we also have our portrait sans dog.”

Alastair frowned, a little surprised and curious. “Do we?”

Thomas smirked, producing an envelope from the inside of his jacket and offering it to him. “Here.”

“Oh,” he breathed, his heart beating loudly in his chest when he took the photo from the envelope and saw it was them sitting on the bench in Hyde Park where the man had taken Oscar’s portrait. Thomas’ arm was lying casually on the back of the bench. He remembered his fingers touching his back, but he didn’t give it much thought. “I didn’t realize he was taking a photograph. I thought he was just taking his sweet time to kidnap the dog.”

“I asked him to take a photo of us before he told us to sit down,” Thomas admitted. “It came out so well and he developed it in time for today. We look –”

“So much in love.”

“Yes, we are,” he grinned at his partner, a finger caressing his dark cheek gently. “Happy birthday, hamsar-am.”

“You remembered,” Alastair answered with a kiss.

“How could I forget? You deserve a treat,” Thomas whispered.

“I will treasure this in my purse,” Alastair confessed. “And do stop using the dog vocabulary. This is not a treat. This is the entire bowl of food.”

“I thought it would be better if we bought a wooden frame and hung it somewhere?”

“No,” he said, pocketing the photo inside of his shirt pocket. “I want to keep it with me at all times, Tom. Deal with it.”

*

Brownie cameras were portable cameras that were released by Kodak starting 1900. They were released so that the wider public could take photographs. You had to take the film to the shop where you bought it and your photographs would be developed in a few days :) quite like the cameras with film that were still around 20 years or so (if you lived in the mid-90's you know what I mean).

Alastair is obviously joking about Matthew! His remarks are meant to be funny. I absolutely think he and Matthew aren't tight friends but they are friends.

[theautisticdoctor]

Entry #016

Autism Service Dog Journey – Week 1

This burnout hit me hard, like smacked me right in the face and stomach and I feel like recovering is going so slow, too slow. I have been trying to get my energy and confidence back to where it was, but it’s just not happening. I have been researching ways to get myself back on my feet and one of the things I came across was the Autism Service Dog. In my country there’s a huge waiting list for these type of dogs, it’s not covered by health insurance yet and it costs about €25K to train one (and a €400 extra every two years to renew the license). There are other ways to get funding but there are massive waiting list, I’m not applicable due to age, or so much paperwork, so I would’ve had to rely on crowdfunding. Which sucks because I don’t like being in the spotlight unanonymously. Also getting a dog through one of those organisations will mean that I would lend a dog, but I also suffer massively from fear of abandonment. Like my cat is three years old, but thinking about the day she’ll be gone gives me already massive anxiety although I know it won’t happen for another 17 years – and nobody dare tell me otherwise because she’s going to be at least 20 years old. I talked to some friends of mine who have a lot of experience with training dogs, and I made the decision to train an autism service dog for myself. To help me manage the challenges I face daily, because I know a (service) dog could make a significant difference in my life. She will offer me support that I wouldn’t be able to find elsewhere. I will deal with how to get the appropriate official certifications later.

So after months, if not years of extensive research (thank you recurrent hyperfixation) I decided to finally give it a go and I bought a puppy last week. I created a more than extensive training plan / program for us and talked a lot with the breeder about the health and characteristics of her parents. I’m not sure how I am going to combine it with my work yet, but up until now they are very supportive.

Breed

Generally I found that the best breeds are the Labrador Retrievers, Golden Retrievers, Poodles, Bernese Mountain Dogs, Border Collies, German Shepherds, Belgian Shepherds, Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, Great Danes, and the Australian Shepherds. But most importantly, when selecting a breed you should consider the temperament and trainability. If you are suffering from dog allergies I’d suggest to go with a hypoallergenic breed, although it is not a certainty you won’t have a reaction. The temperament should be calm and stable and the dog should be responsive to training, intelligent, and eager to learn and work. Also you should be able to match the energy level of the dog, for example the working dogs, like shepherds require a lot of activity throughout the day. Furthermore, depending on the tasks or goals you have for your service dog the size of the dog might be an important factor. For example, I really want my service dog to be able to apply deep pressure, so I need a larger breed in order to achieve this goal. However, while breed traits are important and overall true and applicable, each dog is an individual. You should assess the temperament and compatibility of each specific dog with your goals and needs. Talk to the breeder, ask them how their parents are like, how previous nests grew up to be, observe the puppies or dog and talk to professional trainers. Also nurture and therefore training is a big complement part to nature. After a ton of research, talking to breeders, talking to a befriended trainer and the making of a dozen pros-cons lists, I finally decided that the Belgian Shepherd was the perfect fit for me. So, I am now a proud owner of a Belgian Malinois Shepherd puppy, named Pallas.

Belgian Malinois Shepherds are known for their intelligence, trainability, and loyalty. While they are often seen in roles like police or military work, they can also make exceptional service dogs with the right training. Their high energy and strong work ethic make them well-suited for tasks that require a lot of focus and precision. They are very sensitive and reactive which makes them a good fit with me, because I need her to sense my emotions, my hunger and thirst, but also my flashbacks. They are very big so she will be able to give me deep pressure but also needs a lot of leadership, which is a quality I want to train and develop. I spent quite some time observing her parents, who are for malinois very gentle, calm and soft. So I expect to see those qualities back in her, and I already do. Although she is a puppy she is not hyperactive, listens very well, behaves very well and is already really socialised to people, other animals small and big, and just the outdoor buzzing life.

Goals

My goals for a service dog are to provide deep pressure therapy in certain situations, to assist me with sensory overload, to notice and notify me of certain emotions, bodily feelings, negative / distressing stimming and flashbacks, and to help me in social interactions. She’s not really there to give me practical support or assistance, but rather to give me emotional support and to be a trusted companionship.

Training

Training a service dog is no piece of cake. It requires patience, consistency, and a deep understanding of both the dog's needs and my specific needs. Together with a dog trainer I created a training program that fits my needs and also covers the challenges of training a puppy into a service dog. The first phase I called the “Puppy Preschool Program”, which covers building a strong relationship with my dog, socialisation and basic obedience. Since she’s really just a baby, it’s about learning to trust me and follow my commands. She’ll learn how a clicker works and how she is eligible for treats. She’s going to learn commands like sit, follow, stay, lay down and leave. She also needs to be socialised, that means plenty of exposure to other dogs, cats, livestock, people and motorised vehicles. When she’s graduated from this she’ll enrol into “Puppy High School”, which covers advanced obedience and public access training. Exposing her to different environments will help build her confidence and adaptability. Because, I need her to stay calm in public access places and I need her to behave and listen to me. This means no barking, no tugging, no begging, and not reacting to distractions. She’ll also learn more commands, like fetch, apport, catch, hug, kiss, nudge, guide and paw. It’s going to lay down the foundation for the third phase where she’ll have to do tasks without any commands but by her own notice of signs and signals. Because, after this she’ll do “Puppy College” which are the advanced specific tasks like notifying me of emotions, negative / distressing stimming, flashbacks and bodily feelings, providing assistance with sensory overload and during social interactions and applying deep pressure. After this I am able to call her my autism service dog. Although even after this initial training is complete, it is important to keep continuity in reinforcing commands and keep adapting her to any new needs that arise.

Progress

I have my pup of 10 weeks for a small week now and the transformation I’ve already witnessed is nothing short of miraculous. She’s already such a source of emotional support, for example I fell down in the dark after 4 days because I tripped over something and she came running towards me and started licking my dislocated wrist and hugging me. In the first days she did a lot of puppy nipping, but I managed to get her to almost completely stop doing that in just a week. She walks with me on a leash without tugging and she already listens to the commands sit and follow. She is very gentle in meeting other people, other dogs and she is so amazingly sweet with my cat, it’s like I’m living a dream. Our bond is really building strong and it’s amazing to see the progress in such a short time already. It’s also amazing to see the effect on me, I have been outside walking, I’ve been talking to people on the street and if I don’t want to talk I simply tell her “no, you’re not getting cuddles from this person” loud enough for the others to hear so they don’t interact with us.

If you're considering training an autism service dog for yourself, I think patience is essential because training takes time and each dog learns at their own pace. Also, consistency matters with all animals and dogs in particular. They need consequent, regular, consistent training sessions to have success in progressing. I can definitely recommend working with (experienced) trainers who can provide valuable insights and support, although I am aware that they are very pricey. But most and foremost building a strong, trusting relationship with your dog is essential and could already benefit you in your symptoms.

If you have the ability to get an autism service dog through an organisation I think you will save yourself a lot of time and have more reassurance the process will work out okay, which I can therefore definitely recommend. But maybe we should advocate as a community to make the autism service dogs more accessible for everyone with a diagnosis. Instead of making them only available to people who have the means to get their dogs training for such ridiculous prices. Because according to the Assistance Dogs International all programs must be nonprofit, but then also, how can they ask for €260 per 45 minutes of training excluding driving reimbursement and if you write or app the trainer it will cost another €100. I really fail to see how that is a nonprofit organisation and not just a lucrative business model. It is something that should be able to be done for way cheaper.

Feel free to reach out if you have any tips, thoughts, suggestions, or advice for me, I’d really appreciate them all. I’d absolutely love to hear your stories. And if you have any questions or need advice on training your own autism service dog from me just ask, nevertheless I will definitely share more of my journey with Pallas in the near future.

[mynameis-a]

hiiiii ^^ can u tell me abt dogs n dog breeds?? im rllllyyyy curious

I WILL GLADLY TALK ABOUT DOGS!!! :D :D :D

every dog was bred for a specific job or purpose! and although most dogs only serve as companions nowadays, those work-related behaviors are still prevalent!

golden and labrador retrievers were used in duck hunting! they would run over to where the bird landed and carry it back over to their owner! they have whats called a “soft jaw” basically meaning that they can grab fragile things (for example: a duck) and not grab it hard enough to damage it in any way! this makes them great service dogs, because they can go and grab things for their owner if the person isn’t capable of getting it themselves!

its pretty obvious that most white, fluffy, double coated winter dogs were used to pull sleds around. but samoyeds actually had a different purpose! and that purpose being to keep people warm when its cold! because of how fluffy and warm they are, it was pretty common to just hold onto one for a but of warmth! combine that with how affectionate samoyeds are, and you’ve got yourself a very easy to cuddle dog! i personally think they would be good emotional support dogs for this exact reason, i would certainly feel better after hugging one of those guys!

most small dogs were initially bred for companionship. but did you know that weiner dogs were actually used for hunting? the dachshund was originally used for hunting badgers! (its actually in the name! dachs is german for badger and hund means dog!) their long body was actually useful for getting through the dens!

a lot of dogs that were hunting dogs are probably very surprising. you probably wouldnt expect frou-frou show dogs like standard poodles or afghan hounds to be hunters, but they were! (pretty much any dog that has the word hound, spaniel, or terrier in its name was bred for hunting.)

and you know borzois? those silly dogs with the long noses that can stick in a pringles can and those dorky eyes? hunters again! but its even more ridiculous than the high matinence dogs because these guys weren’t going after ducks or deer or badgers, no. they were killing WOLVES. eventually the wolf hunting stopped and their prior name “the russian wolfhound” went into a bit of retirement, but still! WOLVES!!

also i feel like, with the people this dog is often associated with, peoples perception of this breeds purpose might be a bit warped. the great pyrenees is a guard dog through and through! but because they kinda look like a sheepdog (specifically the marema sheepdog) and are commonly on farms, some people think that they’re herding dogs. but if you’ve heard about that one pyrenees that killed an entire pack of coyotes, i think its pretty obvious.

on the flip side, the german shepherd is not a guard dog! people always think its a dog thats gonna protect them with their life but nope! they’re sheepdogs just as much as a border collie is! if you want a good family dog to protect you (that wont get profiled as a “dangerous” breed) go with the pyrenees!

the vast majority of tiny dogs were meant to be companions and nothing more. which is a bit sad that those are the ones that so often get written off as mean or aggressive. as long as you treat them right, those “yappy anklebiters” will be the sweetest little things! chihuahuas are actually very affectionate dogs! you can carry them around and dress them up in little outfits! just make sure they’re comfortable like you would with any dog!

thats all i can think of right now, and i hope this was what you wanted! :D

[evanyaglad]

As someone who's worked in the field with animals for a while now, I can not contain my rage for "doodles" any longer.

A "doodle" (labradoodle, goldendoodle, bernadoodle, etc) is NOT a recognized breed by any certified organization! Which means they have no breed standards, which is why every doodle you meet looks completely different from each other. In turn, that also means there are no reliable doodle breeders. A doodle is a "designer breed," which is just a fancy name backyard breeders came up with so they can sell genetically unstable mutts for premium price. There is no such thing as a pure bred doodle. It doesn't have a stable genetic pool, nor does it have a reliably known temperment.

Once a "designer breed" gets popular, everyone and anyone starts breeding them on mass! Which continues to contribute and make worse the already unstable/unknown genes and temperments of these dogs. This can cause a lot of early health and behavioral issues.

Whoever told people that these "breeds" are low-maintenance, mellow, family-dogs told the most profitable lie ever.

These dogs are mixed with poodles. The main draw of the poodles' genes is their hair. Which is known not to shed. However, doodles CAN shed (because they are mixed with breeds that do shed). However, they can't shed enough to be self-sufficient. So you may still end up with a dog that sheds and yet still has to take it to an expensive groomer every other week!

Which leads to the neglect. "Doodles" are notorious amongst vets and groomers alike for being neglected. The "breed standard haircut" that the general public has adopted is to let the hair grow shaggy and get matted. Yes, matted. For those uneducated, mats hurt, and they are known to grow bacteria. Any dog with poodle type hair needs PROPER brushing every single day. And not just with a slicker brush. There are several types of tools usually needed, especially a comb that can get all the way down to the skin in order to avoid mats. A dog that has become matted is usually considered neglected for all other breeds except "doodles." However, these dogs should not be forced to live with painful mats because backyard breeders lie to families and tell them they are low-maintenance.

The second issue that comes with poodle mixes is the temperment. Many people who adopt dogs don't consider whether the breed is right for them. Doodle owners aren't the only people guilty of this. However, because this breed doesn't have a standard nor has been around long enough for concrete specifications: we DON'T know the temperment and behavior of these dogs. Which makes it so much worse for those who may be getting a "doodle" as their first dog. At most, we can look at what a doodle is mixed with and make estimations. However, a common issue I see with backyard breeder sales pitches is that they advertise the side of the labradors and golden retrievers a lot more than they advertise the poodle side. Why? Because poodles are known to be extremely active, protective, and vocal. They also need a LOT of mental and physical stimulation. Poodles are extremely intelligent and are usually great for working jobs, agility, or showing. If they don't have some form of outlet for their high energy and intelligence, they may become a menace in the home. The average person I see getting "doodles" is either elderly or busy families. Neither may be suited for a "doodle" that has a temperment more like a poodle than a golden, etc.

Next the size... doodles are a mix. A mix advertised as a purebred without standards. Because their isn't a "standard" for a doodle, we don't know the size of them. Many "doodles" advertised as "miniatures" end up growing the size of their labrador counterparts, etc. It doesn't matter if a dog is mixed with a miniature anything if the other half is a large breed. Again, these dogs are being bred by people who don't know what they are doing. So it's a 50/50 whether you'll get a miniature or large breed dog. Not only that, but some doodles are starting to get reputations for being absolutely massive! I'm not entirely sure why, but these bad boys are starting to clock in at 80+ pounds!

Lastly, health. Again, this is a "breed" that hasn't been around long enough for concrete specifications when it comes to long-term health issues. However, what I can tell you is that these dogs are known to get things like hip dysplasia and luxating patella at as young as two years!! Not to mention the skin and ear infections they are prone to due to their coat and neglect. These dogs are also prone to neurological issues because of how much they are being bred without proper genetics taken into account.

The size, color, coat, health, and temperment of these dogs are a complete gamble. Any breeder breeding them is a backyard breeder, and anything they say should be taken with a grain of salt. Please stop purchasing these dogs for premium price from people creating genetic nightmares. Either wait for the breed to become established or rescue one. Do not participate in this marketing scheme that involves living creatures!

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk

[wyatt-06]

How often should you groom your dog?

To Groom Or Not To Groom, That Is The Question?

Do you constantly wonder when should I groom my dog? Let me tell you, it is a hypothetical question. It depends upon the breed you have their coat type, age, and other variables.

We should organize a dog grooming schedule as per the dog’s breed and it’s health.

Here, we are noting down specifics of a good grooming schedule for your dog.

Activity

Frequency

Bathing your dog

Once in 3-6 months

Brushing your dog’s teeth

Once in a day

Brushing your dog 

Once in a week

Cutting the dog’s nail

Once in a 3 weeks 

Clipping your dog’s coat 

Depending on the breed, Generally once every month or six months

De-shedding Treatment 

Once every month or 3 months depending on the breed

Cleaning ears

As and when needed

Some factors depend upon the grooming schedule of dogs

Age of your dog - Yes, age is also one decisive aspect while deciding the grooming schedule. Pups are not used to the grooming process. Thus we need to make them comfortable with the grooming process. On the other side, older dogs should be less groomed, apart from health-related check-ups as they may face discomfort. So one should try not to get too fancy looks on them.

Length of your dog’s coat - Few dog owners like to keep their dog coats short, whereas few dog owners like to see it long and fluffy. As per your preferences, you will need to groom your dog.  

Breed of your dog - Length of hair or fur depends on the breed of the dog. Some dogs have a good growth of hair that needs regular grooming. For example, a poodle needs grooming every 6 weeks if compared with Maltese.

We can conclude that there is no specific answer to how often should we groom our pets. It depends open you and your dog. What kind of look do you prefer to see on your dog and is your dog enough capable of attending those grooming sessions? If you groom your dog at home you can always make a schedule as mentioned above and groom accordingly. 

img courtesy: petshotel.com.au

img courtesy: i2.wp.com/www.thepawspapetsalon.com

[petnews2day]

Best dog DNA test 2022: Explore your dog’s heritage and health

New Post has been published on https://petnews2day.com/pet-news/dog-news/best-dog-dna-test-2022-explore-your-dogs-heritage-and-health/

Best dog DNA test 2022: Explore your dog’s heritage and health

Dog DNA tests are more popular than ever before, and with technology and science ever evolving, they’ve become pretty sophisticated. Not only can a dog DNA test tell you which breed or breeds make up your dog’s genetics, it can also tell you which group of wolves your dog’s DNA stems from and where in the world they were from. You can unearth all manner of interesting information, such as their age in human years, how inbred your dog is, and whether they might be prone to particular health problems.

There are a few brands out there on the market right now, so we created our own little science experiment to find out which of the most popular dog DNA tests is best. Here’s what we found.

READ NEXT: The best dog trackers

Best dog DNA test: At a glance

How to choose the best dog DNA test for your pooch

Does my dog need a DNA test & how does it work?

No dog needs a DNA test, but they can be a useful and fun way to learn more about your dog – especially if you’ve got a mixed breed dog whose backstory you don’t know in detail. You’ll be able to learn their age, breed make-up and other intriguing facts about their genetic make-up and ancestry.

Dog DNA tests are harmless and don’t carry any risk for your dog. With most tests, you’ll receive a swab which you need to take samples from your dog’s mouth, and a pre-addressed envelope to send it off to the lab.

Usually, postage on the envelope is included but not all tests offer free postage from the UK. Once the swab is received, you’ll get updates about progress until the results are ready.

What sort of things can I learn in a DNA test?

Dog DNA tests can help owners of rescue dogs learn more about where their pet came from, how old it is and what sort of breeds make up its DNA. Most dog DNA tests include a breed breakdown for mixed breed dogs, an ancestry tree and information on relatives within the DNA database. Many DNA tests also include health checks, looking for up to 250 conditions or markers that could indicate your dog has health problems. This is particularly helpful for purebred dogs who are often more at risk of genetic diseases due to inbreeding. If you’re interested mainly in breed, choose a cheaper breed DNA test, but if you’d like a fuller picture of your dog’s make-up and health, choose an all-encompassing service that will give you both health and bread information.

READ NEXT: The best dog harnesses

The best dog DNA tests you can buy in 2022

1. DNA My Dog: Best budget dog DNA test

Price: $69 (£62) | Buy now from DNA My Dog

DNA My Dog is one of the original dog DNA tests. Based in Canada, DNA My Dog actually performs the testing in-house, rather than sell a test they then send off elsewhere to be analysed like some other brands do. This makes it far cheaper than most other tests, however, it’s a somewhat rudimentary experience.

The test itself has a soft swab which is good news – it won’t hurt the dog when you’re gathering the sample. But their website and results were less than satisfactory in our experience. The website is somewhat clunky and unsophisticated – like something from the early 2000s – while the results, which came back in a record two weeks, were inaccurate.

We tested this kit on a three-year-old cockapoo whose mother was a spaniel and father was a poodle, and yet nowhere in his results did it mention the spaniel breed. Instead, it included estimates for poodle, which were as expected, but also golden retriever (less than 9%) and miniature schnauzer (less than 9%). We tested this same dog with an alternative brand (the Wisdom Panel Basic test) and the results came out differently, this time including spaniel.

Results come in the form of a PDF via email, rather than a web portal, and there are no health checks done with this dog DNA test. You do get a printable certificate with a photo of your dog and their dominant breeds.

Key features – Breed test: Yes; Soft swab: Yes; Health check: No

2. Embark: The best dog DNA test for health assessments

Price: $139 (£125) | Buy now from Embark Vet

I tested Embark’s dog DNA test on a two-year-old purebred Manchester Terrier who is particularly highly strung and doesn’t enjoy being manhandled too much. Thanks to the soft swab included with the Embark kit, it wasn’t too difficult to collect a sample from his cheek and it went off to the lab fairly quickly.

Unfortunately, as Embark is very geared towards North American customers, postage isn’t included for UK customers. Results were around a week slower to come back compared with other brands, but once they did it was a fascinating insight into my dog’s health.

The report is incredibly thorough and confirmed that my dog is 100% Manchester Terrier. It also had an extensive report on his health, which picked up a gene that could change how his liver function is presented when tested. This wasn’t picked up in other DNA tests done on the same dog, so this health assessment may be more reliable and thorough than the Wisdom Panel check.

Another great thing about Embark is that you can send health reports directly to your veterinarian through the results portal, and download the full detailed report as a PDF. Embark offers a number of different DNA tests for dogs, including breed and health tests, gut health tests, age tests and breed-only tests.

Key features – Breed test: Yes; Soft swab: Yes; Health check: Yes

3. Wisdom Panel Essential: The best dog DNA test for mixed breed dogs

Price: $80 (£72) | Buy now from Wisdom Panel

The Wisdom Panel dog DNA tests offer an incredibly slick experience, from their slim packaging that’ll easily go through the letterbox to the swish website and results portal that offers detailed insight into your pet’s DNA.

Wisdom Panel claims to be 98% accurate and, having used three of their tests with great success, I was impressed by how specific their breed identification was – especially compared with the DNA My Dog test which incorrectly identified the same dog as part golden retriever. Wisdom Panel found five breeds within the three-year-old cockapoo’s DNA, including two types of poodle and three types of spaniel. It also found extended family from Baxter’s line of dogs, including a two-year-old cavapoo called Lily.

The Essential test also looks for 29 conditions that could affect the dog’s health. This found no issues in his DNA, and it recommends an ideal weight for his type of breed.

The major drawback of this DNA test is the swab, which has a metal end with bristles a little bit like a pipe cleaner, which was uncomfortable for the dog to have against his gums when collecting the sample. If your dog is tolerant, though, ultimately this is a largely reliable and interesting DNA test for if you want to learn a little more about them.

Key features – Breed test: Yes; Soft swab: No; Health check: Yes

[spacegaynsfw]

In light of your resent self discovery, I present to you an anecdote:

I was on a red eye from NY to FL, coming back home from a vacation. Not only is it night, I also tend to fall asleep in moving vehicles. Both because they give me the tired sleepy or to combat the motion sickness I get from time to time.

I’m fine at LaGuardia (and this was before it was renovated Nad COVID, so this is classic LaG, busted ceiling tiles, poodle sized rats, water damage and all) so even though my aunt tells me I should use the restroom before we board, I ignore her.

Anyway, seats are called, boarding happens, and I’m out before we even reach altitude.

A few things wake me up.

An announcement from the pilot, the ding of an indicator, and the need to pee. It’s not bad, but it’s there.

Now idk if the pressure changes in the sky can effect your sense of needing to go, but the closer we got to ground, the worse it got. Like full on, crossing and uncrossing my legs, wiggling in my seat, biting my lip, anything I could think of to NOT piss myself on this Boeing.

This lead to a secondary problem.

Sort of.

You see, in many people with a uterus, when the bladder expands, it can press against the internal structures of the clitoris, causing arousal.

I am one of those people.

I am also the unfortunate owner of a very leaky tap. My average discharge appears to be equivalent to what most others experience usually during arousal. So you can imagine what it’s like when I actually am horny.

I can and have leaked through my jeans before.

So now, I’m wiggling and desperate, doing everything I can to NOT piss myself, even as it feels like I already sort of did because I’m leaking like I’ve been edging (I mean I technically sort of was now that I think about it) and it’s making the need to go even worse. Like dipping someone’s hand in warm water while they sleep.

Finally. FINALLY! We make it to ground. But my aunt, —who I’m sitting next to, mind—doesn’t like trying to merge into the line to get off of the plane, and because of who I am as a person, I said I could hold it a bit longer. Even as I felt actual tears beginning to form in my eyes.

We finally make it off of that god damned flying death tube, and when I tell you I dropped my stuff and ran to the nearest toilet, not even checking the signs. I am dead serious. My aunt was actually starting to ask if I was okay when I bolted.

I was lucky, in a way, because cleaning had just finished the restroom I bolted into so there was no one else in there.

Which was good considering I had probably one of the best orgasms of my life in a restroom at Ft. Lauderdale International Airport at 12:30 in the morning.

I’m not usually loud, I still live with my mom and with three cats, any weird noises immediately gets the fuzzy bastards running to see what’s up. But I still moaned like I found fucking salvation in that tiny aluminum bathroom stall, legitimate tears were running down my cheeks as I came.

I was hunched over and shaking for the solid minute it took to actually pee, and because of angles, the stream was hitting my clit, topping the whole experience off with a sprinkle of overstim.

I sat there shaking for a few seconds once my bladder was actually empty, trying to get enough of my brain back online to seem less like I came in the bathroom hard enough to consider converting, and more like I was angry at being awake at that hour and not at home.

I had to spend some extra time at the sink to clean up my face, also my legs were still a little wobbly from orgasm so I needed help standing.

I’ve tried to hold it like that again on my own, not often, cause that could actually do some damage, but I don’t have the self control to hold it until it’s that bad again.

Still! Holding it while jerking it is a fun challenge, and it makes the orgasms feel, the best word I have is tighter, but that doesn’t make a whole lotta sense does it.

- @sticky-note

EKFKSNDKSBDKSJSJA NOTE PLEASE

first of all that’s hot as hell but also I am sorry that this occurred on a plane/in an airport because that sounds like a version of hell for me DIFJDBDJSK

But YES yes exactly with the whole pressing against the internal parts of the clit like that’s the whole thing. And good sweet Jesus god the relief and the whole ?? Yeah. YEAH man jeez. N tbh I know exactly what you mean by tighter for whatever it’s worth ??? It’s just. There’s more going on. Idk fjdbsnsk

But yeah holding when you don’t have “legitimate” constraints is a lot harder than when you do (for instance if I was in my truck for work I could hold it 80000x longer than I can just chilling in my apartment, bc my brain knows there’s no free pass by way of going to the bathroom in the truck, but my bathroom in my apartment is 3 steps away at all times) but lemme tell you when you have someone telling you whether or not you have permission to go that is also another thing 🥴

(But yeah obviously don’t go ham on this because your poor pelvic floor muscles will seek revenge in the future, although I would say you’re probably not in danger with recreational holding every now and then. The types of folks who usually experience symptoms with that are like…… truck drivers who drink a fuckload of energy drinks and then have to hold it for EVER because truck.)

[displacedcreativity]

There’s obviously a lot of chatter going on about Cruella and 101 Dalmatians and ooohhh my god errebody a lot of you don’t know the source material and I really. I really need to share a nut shelled version of the two novels (yes there’s TWO) because it’s absolutely wild from start to finish and it starts out innocent enough and then just escalates from there.  Copy pasting from my twitter thread cause as much as I love this roller coaster I don’t want to type it again HERE WE GO: To start in the original 101 Dalmatians novel, Mr. and Mrs. Dearly have that house because Mr. Dearly never has to pay taxes ever again and was gifted that house because he wiped out the government debt.  They also had two nannies - Nanny Cook and Nanny Butler. Pongo is still there, but the mother of his pups is a dalmatian named Missis.  Perdita is a dalmatian the family took in out of the rain as a 'wet nurse' to help feed the 15 puppies. Perdita apparently means lost. Cruella is also married to a furrier. Because of course.

  Perdita tells Pongo that she HAD puppies, by a dog named Prince, but her owner sold her puppies so she was out looking for them. After the puppies are stolen, and the Twilight bark reveals the location, Pongo and Missis TRY to tell the humans but fail cause they can't say S's.   Pongo and Missis go on the search for the puppies, and Perdita stays behind to watch the Dearly's. When they get to hell hall, there's 97 puppies and Cadpig is a runt and needs to be pulled along in a toy cart supplied by a 2 year old boy in order to escape. When the dogs get back to London, Cruella's PERSIAN CAT who wants revenge for the kittens Cruella drowned, lets them inside the house so the dogs can destroy Cruella's furs.  They return home and it turns out Perdita's puppies were the one's pulling Cadpig, Prince confirms! Since all the puppies were bought and paid for, and not stolen. No one is looking to get them back. Even Perdita's owner sells her to the Dearly's because fuck Perdita I guess smh. Cruella's cat is now HOMELESS because the destruction of the furs has forced Cruella to flee the country and put Hell Hall up for sale so the Dearly's adopt the cat as well. They then buy Hell Hall for their "Dalmatian Dynasty" with money earned by fixing another gov. debt.  They then adopt Prince because they see how much he still loves Perdita and Prince becomes dalmatian 101. TIME FOR BOOK 2. THE STARLIGHT BARKING. They're still living in Hell Hall and the Persian cats are married.  Cadpig now lives with the Prime Minister. Wholesome, right? Happy and cute what could the sequel to 101 Dalmatians possibly entail that's weirder than the first? MY FRIENDS. FAM. BUCKLE UP. The dogs awaken one morning to find out that not a single living thing aside from dogs can wake up. Doors, machines, etc all work on command and the dogs don't need to eat or drink or sleep.  Cadpig is now the acting PRIME MINISTER AND THE DOGS CAN COMMUNICATE VIA THOUGHT WAVES. They soon discover that they can 'swoosh' which is basically hovering over the ground at high speed. So, I mean, flying. They can basically fly. So Pongo and Missis SWOOSH to London with about 50 other dalmatians to meet with PRIME MINISTER CADPIG. But WAIT. Tommy, the kid from the first book, and the farm crew and the Persian cat from the first book are discovered to ALSO be awake because they were dubbed "honorary dogs" after helping the dalmatians in the first book. Because fuck the Dearly's I guess they're just PETS. The Persian cat thinks this is all Cruella's fault somehow so they pull together a team to go to Cruella's home to KILL HER. But she and her husband are both asleep like everyone else. She's now obsessed with metallic plastic and not furs. So they spare her life.  And then! A mysterious voice comes onto the t.v, alerting all dogs that they must all gather tonight by midnight under starlight. The Twilight bark and the TELEPATHY ensures all dogs get this message. Because of course. *INHALES BECAUSE NEXT PART IS A DOOZY.* All the dogs, including the honorary ones are gathered and waiting. Then! At Midnight! Euphoria! The terror! ....... As Sirius, the Lord of the Dog star appears and announces that he's lonely, and he wants to take all the dogs off Earth so they can avoid the future Nuclear War. But the dogs have to come willingly and in the morning he promises that the world will forget dogs every existed so they're not missed. Pongo is tasked with deciding the fate OF EVERY DOG ON EARTH.  Some stray dogs convince Pongo to say no to Sirius, because the decision to go would be unfair to any dog on Earth who is still hoping to find a loving family on Earth.  So Pongo says no, and Siris proud that the dogs are staying so loyal despite the promise of eternal bliss. Sirius lets all the dogs SWOOSH back home and of course they deduce he appeared everywhere in the world at once because he's a star and not bound by. Physics or something. Pongo gives one last message to Sirius saying dogs may leave one day, but for now they like being on Earth. Also in the second book. Lucky has a wife named Gay and they're secretaries to a poodle.  Patch refuses to marry because he doesn't want to pass down his eye spot.  Roly Poly teaches George, a boxer, how to swim and they bond over magical adventures in Paris. I PROMISE YOU nothing Disney makes with 101 Dalmatians can top the source material and honestly they’re cowards for not doing a perfect adaptation or the second book. (Apparently Disney wanted to do more things based on that author’s work when he was alive  and I’m sure he would have had he not died in 1966 since Starlight Barking came out in 1967. Just think, there’s probably a timeline where Starlight Barking is the first Disney animated sequel instead of Rescuers Down Under.)

[roanthered]

We all know doodles. Golden doodles, labradoodles, aussie doodles, oh my! They’re all the rage right now! But what if I told you that there is a new breed, with all of the good qualities of the doodles and none of the bad??

Introducing the German Water Retriever (GWR)!

They come in three sizes: standard, miniature, and toy! A common concern among doodle owners is there is never a size guarantee; your beloved miniature golden doodle puppy may end up weighing 50lbs as an adult! Not to worry with the GWR, each of the three sizes has a weight guarantee: toy sized will only get up to 17lbs, minis will be 26-31lbs, and for those who like big dogs, the standard German Water Retriever can reach between 44 and 71lbs!

They are often hypoallergenic! Dog allergies stem from proteins in dog dander or saliva. GWR have a unique curly coat that sheds only minimally and they tend to produce fewer allergens than other breeds! While many doodles often sport a hypoallergenic title, there is no guarantee that they will be hypoallergenic—and many end up producing just as many allergens as any other breed.

They are incredibly intelligent! As retrievers, these dogs are known for their drive to work. However, they are also incredibly versatile and eager to please and have been taught everything from circus tricks to personal protection! These additional talents prove that the GWR is more intelligent than golden or Labrador retrievers—and therefore more intelligent than their golden or labradoodle offspring.

They make great family dogs! Speaking of labs and goldens, it is relatively common knowledge that retrievers can make excellent family pets. German Water Retrievers are specifically bred to have a stable temperament, which means when you add a GWR to your family you can be sure that you are getting a quality bred dog who will suit your family perfectly. Their athleticism means they’re ready to keep up with kids or join you for any adventure, while their stable temperament give them an off switch for relaxation time.

Their coat! While doodle coats tend to vary drastically from dense and curly to fine and fluffy, GWR always have a dense, curly coat that grows continuously. This coat can be worn in any style! Love the fluffy faced look of doodles? You wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between a GWR and a doodle! Looking for something easy to maintain? Shave them short: no brushing needed! Want to test your creativity? Have fun with funky hairdos and dyed fur! This breed is among the most popular for creative grooming!

They come with health guarantees! Some doodles do, some don’t. GWR breeders health test generations back and breed only the healthiest dogs. The test results are displayed online in the OFA database for prospective puppy purchasers to confirm for themselves!

They come in many different colors! While they don’t come in merle like an aussiedoodle could, they come in everything from white to red to brown to black and so many shades in between! There are also some color patterns they can come in as well, such as phantom, silver, or parti if registered under the United Kennel Club!

Interested in owning a German Water Retriever? Wondering how this seemingly amazing breed has remained so rare? That is because these incredible dogs actually have a secret code name among those who breed and own them. If you want to find more information on this breed, you will have to search for them by this code name: the Poodle!

Support reputable breeders: adopt or shop responsibly!

I think it’s so funny how so many people spend thousands of dollars on poodle mixes just because they don’t want a poodle. In reality, most of the desired traits of doodles come from the poodle side of the family! I’m all for a rebrand.

[intriga-hounds]

Longtime watcher, first time caller~ I wanted to tell you about how I ran into a trio of Silkens at my local dog park this morning! I didn't realize how close-knit the breed owners were, or how slinky and noodly silkens are in-person. Absolutely delightful dogs! sorry, I think they know you have a Tumblr blog for your dogs now 😅

(Also thank you for all your posting about getting The Sauce, I got a poodle two weeks younger than her (by chance lmao), and it's been really nice to have someone I can look at and go "Oh, good. I'm doing about the same, I'm a good puppy owner", because oh, the anxiety. I've never had a puppy before o_o; )

if we are thinking of the same people, they told me about you! i’m glad you got to meet some silkens. they’re awesome. 🥰

[weaselle]

WHY is is SO hard for adult humans to just leave animals alone!?

Just saw a clip of someone trying to get some pics with some feral pigs, and if that isn’t the height of stupid idk what is. Like, these pigs were 100 to 400 hundred pounds each, no fences, no fear of humans, and there were like ten of them. And believe me when I say, if that warning nip had broken skin or knocked her down, being literally eaten alive could easily have been the last thing that happened to her. Like who the fuck sees a bunch of large animals whose most famous attribute is their ravenous hunger and willingness to eat literally anything on the planet, and decides to go stand in the middle of a crowd of them? FARM pigs eat the farmers experienced in dealing with them semi-regularly -- a woman in Russia was killed by her pigs in 2019, and a farmer in Oregon was almost completely devoured by his pigs in 2012. smh

I’m a dog walker, and I have to stop people doing stupid shit with the dogs all the time. Like people will literally try to walk right through my pack of eight dogs. Last week I was loading the dogs back into the van after the walk and I turned around just in time to see a guy in the car next to me had rolled down his window and was reaching out to pet one of the dogs on the head while my back was turned.

That dog weighs 80 pounds and spent his first 4 years of life as a street dog in LA, and he hates strangers touching his head. Which I think is totally reasonable. But he’s got fluffy hair like a poodle and people (usually white men, our society is really failing white men in a way that makes them a danger to themselves and others, I’m telling you) will just suddenly step forward and reach for his face with no warning.

I’ve got another dog I walk that people will sometimes try to brush past or godsforbid pet, let’s call her Jenny. Jenny is a good dog, but she wants everyone in the world to leave her the fuck alone. She really really hates being touched at all. By anyone. I walk her 3 times a week and we have an understanding: she’s super well behaved on our walks, and I very carefully get her leash on and off without so much as accidentally brushing a finger against her ear (which I’ve done, it’s not a good time). I think her owner can touch the dog, but she got married four years ago and Jenny still growls at her husband to demand he leave her alone.

The first thing she does when accidentally touched is scream like she’s being murdered and flinch away, she’s not really a danger in public, but a big part of her not being a danger in public is she’s always on a leash and under my control, keeping her out of physical contact with people. She doesn’t bark or growl at people or other dogs that pass by us or anything. You can stand an inch away from her and it’s fine as long as you leave her alone. But what am I supposed to do when somebody just walks right up and tries to put their hands on her!? Especially if I’m like, bent down picking up poop with one hand and holding onto an entire pack of dogs with the other.

If you touch her without permission she could easily decide to bite the shit out of you and I can’t say I’d blame her. As far as I’m concerned touching without permission is a bite-able offense. Right? But also, that kind of thing can get a dog taken away and killed by the authorities, so reaching for her face without asking is not only risking your hand, but it’s also risking my job and her whole life. Just don’t!

Like, for the love of all that’s holy just leave animals alone! Why is this such a hard concept? If you love dogs, go hang out with a dog you already know, or at least ask the person in control of the dog if they can be pet before you go shoving your hand at their pointiest parts.

And forget about touching or being near wild animals, no, literally forget about them, think about something else. 

[jellyfishinc]

Day 7

S1E7 Warner She Wrote

They can complain about rehashing old skits with no payoff all they want, but I still think it was hilarious.

Yakko makes his return as a world renowned Detective, along with Wakko and Dot as his assistants, while riding a train.

One of the people they're riding with happens to own a Poodle with pink fur, named Gigi, and if course it's loud, wrecks everything, and her owner does nothing to stop it.

In fact, she ends up barking all through the night, and Yakko finally can't stand it for another second, and in doing so, perfectly describes every single person with sleep problems, mental health related or not.

BUT, of course that's not the end, because as everyone else falls asleep, we get to watch him be even more relatable, by doing THIS.

Ties a sock around his head, hides his head under a pillow, which does nothing to block out the noise, as they gradually get louder, until finally, he just lets out a scream that succeeds in detailing the train with an avalanche.

God, is there nothing about this kid that isn't relatable?

Next morning, it's blissfully quiet, and they discover that the aforementioned dog from last night has been dognapped.

Naturally, they all look to Yakko to solve the case.

After looking through the train car, he finds Dot's handkerchief soaked in chloroform, but Dot quickly gives an explanation.

As it turns out, she was performing close up magic for another passenger.

I've seen a few people talk about the trope subversion here, but I've yet to see someone point out the other part of it:

She didn't plan this! As she tells Yakko, she actually lost it as she was performing this trick, and the "Where is the handkerchief?" line was her attempt to cover it up while still shocking both her one person audience, and the audience at home.

One of the many rules in comedy: if something goes wrong, never let the audience know that!

Yakko, you brilliant overdramatic bastard, you've taught her well. Bravo!

But what this actually tells Yakko is that she saw Wakko leaving the room the previous night.

Turns out Wakko was just taking a bath in the punchbowl, while everyone was in line for it.

So, with everyone on the train as an eyewitness, Wakko couldn't have done it either.

This leads people to point fingers at Yakko himself, because he has some of the dog's fur on his jacket.

Yakko hilariously starts interrogating himself, while being as over the top and ridiculous as possible.

Look at him!

Which is apparently enough to prompt THIS reaction out of Dot and Wakko.

We also get a classic joke from Wakko.

And finally, Yakko's self interrogation escalates to good old fashioned wrestling.

Wakko even attempts to break it up by saying they can talk it out, only to Yakko accuse bon of taking his other self's side, and that's enough for Dot to join in, giving us THIS typical sibling fight.

That being settled, they still have no leads, so they search the train car, and find a note allegedly written by Gigi herself, saying she's run away, and she's hiding in the luggage compartment.

As it turns out, the train conductor kidnapped her because she'd get a huge price tag on the black market.

In retaliation, they untie the dog, and we hear him say, "Get this monster trucker off of me."

Wakko immediately picks up what he's actually trying to say, but Yakko, never not in parent mode, does THIS.

[blouisparadise]

Upon request, here is a rec list of bottom Louis fics where Louis is pining for Harry. We hope you’ll enjoy this list. We also have a mutual pining rec list here and we will have a pining Harry rec list eventually. Happy reading!

1) Down On Your Knees, You Don’t Look So Tall | Explicit | 3445 words

Louis and Harry are friends, and best ones at that. Louis loves Harry more fiercely more than he's ever loved anyone, so he doesn't really have a problem with it when they start doing this thing. this wonderful, wonderful thing.

2) You Had Me At Hello | Explicit | 4529 words

Louis works in the shop next to Harry's cupcake shop.   Louis pines after Harry until he goes into a heat and Harry finally catches up.

3) Just Like Live Wires | Explicit | 5427 words

Harry climbs into Louis’ bed when he’s cold. Louis pines.

4) Something To Live For | Mature | 5535 words

After over a century of waiting for Harry to realize they're mates,  Louis gets his heart broken when his friend announces he's found his 'one' in a human girl named Teresa. Wanting only happiness for Harry, Louis accepts that it just wasn't meant to be and decides it's time to let go of the immortal life.

5) Five Times Harry Styles Was Jealous | Mature | 6184 words

Harry's jealous all the time but there were five times that definitely stand out. Five times that changed Louis and Harry's relationship.

6) On My Mind All The Time, Say You're Mine | Explicit | 9261 words

“Dude, we’re inside, and it’s night time. Those don’t look as cool as you think they do.” Louis could kick himself, he sounded so stupid, but it certainly got the guy’s attention.

It was at that unfortunate moment that he noticed several other things about this hot asshole, that he hadn’t noticed just staring from afar. First, when Louis spoke to him, his gaze was kind of unfocused behind his sunglasses, and secondly, that he had a red and white cane folded up under his arm.

“I’m… Blind,” the man chuckled, awkwardly.  

Louis wanted to melt into a puddle out of pure embarrassment.

“I— am so sorry. I have to go.”

“Hey, wait, wait,” the man soothed, grabbing at Louis’ shoulders before he could get away.

“I’m sorry,” Louis repeated, looking down at his shoes.

“It’s alright,” He cackled. “I get it a lot. More than you know.”

7) Let The Beating Waves Come Drag Me Down | Explicit | 9447 words

“Just try it, the worst thing that could ever happen it’s that you won’t like it” Niall had told him. And there he was, on the way to one of these pubs created for perverts, willing to break up the routine to try something new, something that terrified as much as excited him.

One night to get swept up in passion, one night to let the devil get in.

"Tonight, I’m going to make you scream of ecstasy Louis,” he said with a raspy voice full of control, making him tremble with anticipation.

8) Got It Right Such A Long Time Ago | Explicit | 9699

There are a lot of people Harry might expect to find on his doorstep at three o’clock in the afternoon these days.

It could be the delivery man, come to drop off the pair of boots Harry impulsively ordered online last week. It could be one of his neighbors, dropping by to complain about how a party he’d thrown weeks ago had clogged up the street. It could also be any number of his friends in L.A., who stop by unannounced most days to mooch off Harry’s food or whisk him away to try some new yogurt shop.

As a rule, it definitely cannot be Louis Tomlinson, although Harry’s blinked at least three times now, and it’s still Louis standing there, a backpack slung over his shoulder and a duffel bag at his feet.

9) You Know What They Say | Explicit | 10232 words

Nice guys always finish last.

10) Call If You Need Me | Explicit | 10770 words

If anyone asks later on, Louis plans to tell them that it’s all Niall’s fault.

11) Love Is Like This; Not A Heartbeat, But A Moan | Explicit | 13150 words

Note: This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

In which Harry loves Louis, but Louis has been cold to him ever since he presented as an omega at age fifteen.

Eight years later, Louis approaches Harry with a request, and who is Harry to deny him?

12) Just Let Me | Mature | 14714 words

The party was going well. So well, Niall had already sworn undying love to one multi-tiered chocolate cake, two friendly corgi-poodle mixes, Zayn’s hair, and the entire population of Los Angeles. So well, Zayn had only laughed and ruffled Niall’s hair and not even twitched towards a cigarette. So well, nearly everyone had spilled far past the boundaries of the night’s original plans, extracting bottles of vodka from the cabinets and losing a lot of clothes. Harry had proclaimed that he was finally going to throw a small and very grownup dinner party and of course here they were three hours later, fifty people half-naked in the pool. Soon to be full-naked, if Louis had to guess. Everybody in LA loved a heated pool. Everybody loved Harry.

13) We’re the New Romantics | Explicit | 16054 words

Alternatively, a high school au where Louis pines and Harry is not who he seems to be. Featuring peanut butter banana milkshakes, motorcycles, and first times.

14) Wait For Me (To Come Home) | Explicit | 16066 words

A future fic of time stamps where Louis finally comes to grips with a love he'd denied for too long.

15) Deflower Me | Explicit | 20154 words

Louis is a proud virgin, and no matter how much society tries to make him feel like a freak for not acting on his natural urges, he doesn't suffer from his lack of experience. He has never felt drawn to someone in a way that made him want to get involved sexually with them, and he isn't planning on rushing himself so he can get some because people think it's what he should do.

In walks Fratboy, the Serial Haunter of His (wet) Dreams, who thankfully has a little business going on that might be just what Louis needs.

16) I Wanna Be More Than Friends | Not Rated | 20721 words

The one where Harry’s an alpha with no sense of smell, Louis’ an omega who isn’t allowed to scent his best friend, and that’s all they’ll ever be. Obviously.

17) The Way The Storm Blows | Explicit | 21649 words

Louis doesn’t have a habit of thinking about Harry’s dick.

That would be weird, seeing as they’re best mates, and they share a flat, and they’ve spent holidays at each other’s family homes. Their friendship hasn’t ever risen to a point where Louis should want to see his mate’s dick, and he’s happy to keep it that way.

Except, all that Louis can think about is exactly that. The size of it. The shape. The amount of people it’s been in.

Maybe it’s the tequila talking, or the fact that Louis’ just recently walked in to an eyeful of Harry taking turns on some slags that he’s never seen before, but. Louis’ mind can’t stop obsessing over the idea.

18) Ours Are The Moments I Play In The Dark | Mature | 30830 words

Jane Austen's Persuasion AU. Nine years ago Louis Tomlinson was persuaded to break off his engagement to Harry Styles, a poor sailor. Since then Louis has come to regret being so easily convinced to give up his one chance of happiness. Now Louis' family is in debt and his childhood home is being sold. In a complete reversal of fortune, Harry has returned to England a wealthy bachelor looking to settle down. Events conspire to bring them together once more though Louis is- must surely be- the last man on earth that Captain Styles would think of now.

19) If Ignorance Be Bliss | Mature | 30429 words

Uni AU: Harry is too experienced, and Louis just wants to get to experience him.

20) Where The Lights Are Beautiful | Mature | 31170 words

The accidental bonding a/b/o fic.

21) Mark My Word (We Gon’ Be Alright) | Explicit | 35524 words

"He’s always known that there would come a time when Harry would bond with some beautiful, quiet omega, and they would have lots of curly-haired pups and live happily ever after.

Knowing it and living it are two very different things, though. Watching the object of your affection desperately search for a mate and completely disregard you as an option is all sorts of painful, but it is what it is, and Louis is just going to have to learn to live with that."

22) Before We Knew | Explicit | 39831 words

Louis has been skeptical of soulmates for years so it seems like fate when he finally bumps into the owner of the obnoxiously large signature printed into his skin since age sixteen: Harry Styles, a human rights attorney who is firmly against soulmates.

23) Eyes Off You I Explicit | 39396 words

A Charlie’s Angels inspired fic where Louis is the brains, Harry is the charm, Liam is the muscle, and Niall drives the getaway car - and Zayn is there, too. sometimes.

24) Kiss Me On The Mouth And Set Me Free (Nut Please Don't Bite) | Mature | 42074 words

Harry is the CEO of Flora Corp, Louis is his new secretary.

"...Louis wanted him so badly. Wanted Harry to pick him up, bite him, and break him. Make Louis his, make Louis cry, make Louis a beautiful, plump, pregnant omega..."

25) Let Me Touch You Where Your Heart Aches | Explicit | 46625 words

A Friends with Benefits AU, in which Louis falls in love and Harry is jealous. There is some Karaoke singing somewhere in there, because how do you write a romantic comedy without a Karaoke scene?

26) Underneath The Moon | Mature | 46927 words

In five years’ time, Louis would be the one saying to his students about how he knew the great Harry Styles, in a time before he had ever put out an album or performed on a real stage. Harry fucking Styles had been his best friend and he still loved him, he always would. But they couldn’t stay that way.

27) The Sidelines | Explicit | 47078 words

Note: There are mentions of Top Louis.

Or Harry and Louis play hockey for Penn state and can’t stand one another, since they can’t keep their hatred off the ice their coach and team do what they can to keep their hard earned spot in the playoffs and their two star players from killing each other.

28) Waiting For The Tides To Meet | Explicit | 59873 words

Soulmate AU. Everyone is born with heterochromia — one eye is their own eye colour, while the other is the colour of their soulmate's. It's only when they meet their soulmate for the first time that their own eyes match properly. After a hazy night at a frat party, Louis wakes up to blue eyes and the shocking realization that he had met his soulmate, without any sober recollection. Seven years pass where Louis comes to terms with the fact that he'll never know who his soulmate is. Then one fated summer, a beautiful green-eyed photographer arrives at Louis' workplace, with promises of endless laughter and a familiar feeling in Louis' heart.

29) Pinkies Never Lie | Explicit | 83615 words | Sequel

AU in which Louis hates his job and loves Harry, Harry just wants a distraction, everyone else wants them to get their shit together, and Louis learns the hard way that new beginnings are only possible when something ends.

30) Inevitable | Explicit | 185917 words

AU where Louis and Harry used to be more than friends, but everything had to change the day Harry introduces Louis to his new girlfriend.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.