#but apparently it was in there somewhere bc this was a whole-ass dream

[wlwofwaverlyplace]

The Secret Good Last Season of Lab Rats!!!

hiiiii I have not posted to this blog in over four years, but I NEED to share that I had a Lab Rats dream last night in which the Secret Good Fourth Season was finally released from the disney vault --- an entire season of Lab Rats that was written, shot, edited, and then hidden for decades in favor of the disastrous Bionic Island.... but justice was served at last, and the Secret Good Fourth Season premiered on Disney+ in March of 2023. Here is what we got:

- A really cool secret part of the original lab is revealed behind a hidden panel, saved from Douglas’s explosion by a bulletproof shell. Here, we find that Donald has shoved in storage a whole bunch of childhood memorabilia from the ABC kids, leading to a memorable Childhood Flashback Episode in the old lab, ending with a present-day twist when Leo finds SOMETHING SECRET (I forgot this part, sorry, but I promise it was a super epic game-changing secret)

- Bree comes out as a lesbian very early in the season and has a whole falling-in-love and dating arc with a non-bionic Aussie girl who encourages her to follow her dreams of global travel/adventure. They kiss in the series finale, obvi

- Leo gets his own two-parter episode mid-way through, very “Zuko Alone,” in which he’s stranded in the middle of nowhere on a mission due to Mishaps and must find his own way back to safety, discovering both his inner strengths as a leader and a new bionic ability in his arm along the way (echolocation!)

- The main season villain is an AI robot created by Davenport to take over his role as leader/mentor in the Lab Rats team so he can retire early (bc he’s still a lil selfish prick, apparently). At first, the kids all like this robot way more because it’s actually really supportive and encouraging of their dreams outside of mission work (oof), but things change midway through when Leo’s mid-season stranding SUSPICIOUSLY should have been prevented by the robot’s sensors but wasn’t. Things culminate closer to the finale when the robot takes it upon itself to remove all four kids’ bionics after identifying them as THE problem to them finding happiness. In a very weird pre-finale episode, the kids struggle with wondering if this is indeed a good thing since they can follow their dreams now, but they eventually resolve to beat the robot after learning that it will do the same thing to all the bionic kids from Krane’s army who’ve been trying to lead normal lives in Mission Creek with different foster families (yeah, this is basically the first time they’re featured all season after only occasionally showing up for a background gag here and there...). Basically, the moral lesson here is consent: it wasn’t right for them to be made bionic as kids without their consent, but it’s also not ok for the bionics to be suddenly taken away without consent. With Douglas’s and Donald’s and Tasha’s help, they have to beat the villain WITHOUT powers, win, and get to make their own choice about whether or not to take their bionics back afterwards. Bree chooses to take her chip back but uses it travel with her girlfriend for a few years (maybe doing some good along the way but mostly taking time for herself), Adam and Leo both choose to take them back and keep doing missions but with Leo fulfilling the role of Mission Leader after a whole season of developing as an A+ planner/leader, and Chase --- in a beautiful culmination of season-long character development --- chooses to shelve his chip indefinitely to pursue his dream of being a lawyer with only hard work and the intellect of his own natural mind to get there. Oh, and they all get sincere apologies from Douglas and Donald........... THE END

(ok, that last paragraph in the dream was literally just rObOT vILLaiN, but I improved it)

[little-shiny-sharpies]

Ohhh I just got the best welcome home gift ever… f/o dream….

It was me and Kalec’s first “date” and idk when it happened but I will find a spot on the timeline for it because it’s so cute and funny, so what happened was it started with me following Kalec around trying to find out what he’d liked so I’d take him somewhere he’d enjoy.

So to put it lightly I stalked him while he was doing “aspect things” I guess he made a stop in Dalaran for Kirin Tor stuff idk what he does ANYWAY so I caught him while he had a moment to himself (off to a terrible start already I’m harassing this man at work) and asked him if he wanted to hang out with me or if I could hang out with him and he said I could tag along with him while he fetched something and, get this, he took me to his room. And sat on his bed. And I. In a fit of awkward desperation to give him a hint. Asked if I could feel his arm. To which he said yes and then he rolled up his sleeve and I felt like a Victorian man seeing an ankle for the first time and gently held his bicep like it was fine ceramic and he had gentle tracings of his magic runes on his skin and I was just enchanted by them glittering with magic and god I need to draw that so bad

Anyway then somebody walked in and the second they saw us they said “oop” and immediately turned around but I didn’t get to see who it was all I saw was a robe and my guess is it was Khadgar bc it kinda sounded like him but they left before I could get a good look but they just left so then he went back out and did things with me tagging along (idk what it was weird dream stuff) but we got ice creams and were talking.

Then he got a chance to hang out with me so we went to a mall or something but he seemed really stoic the whole time and seemed bored, so I got desperate to impress him and took him to a big party (?) and we both kinda stood in the corner like wallflowers and I was regretting my life decisions when some orc lady boss dissed him and I got super pissed and Kalec tried to gently get us to leave but I still wanted to impress him and I was fueled by embarrassment and rage so I challenged her to a fight but she said she was going to therapy so instead of a fistfight we had to inflate a balloon and hold it in our mouth (no tying it, you exhale and hold) and the goal was to punch the balloon so it would pop or make the other person choke on air but if you miss judged and hit them you insta lost. Anyway 90% the balloons were faulty as hell so we inflated them and they popped in half a breath and idk what happened but apparently my unyielding resolve to kick her ass for disrespecting Kalec impressed her so I earned her respect and she apologized to him.

Then we both got overstimulated and left and I was so embarrassed and humiliated I just apologized for embarrassing him and I was sorry for dragging him down and wasting his night so he confessed that he was so nervous and he was so panicked that he didn’t know what to do for me so he apologized for wasting MY night and I had to sit there for like, 5 whole seconds because I was so flabbergasted before I yelled that HE was the baddie I WAS fumbling and then he apologized again and ran back to his home which was the Azure Archives and the second he stepped in there he got jumped by every other blue dragon telling him to get back over there and finish his date so he did and I was like 70 feet away the whole time so we just chilled for the rest of the night, got more ice cream and watched the sun set so we could look at the stars

[fonulyn]

fonulyn’s 2020 in fics

this is kind of exciting since in 2020 I did get a lot writing done, and it marks the second year in a row that I’m able to actually make one of these posts after that horrible not good at all terrible disastrous three and a half years when I wrote absolutely nothing. so it’s a triumph to get another one of these up! personal victory haha.

in total, in 2020 I wrote 148 fics, ranging from like 200 words to 34k (idk if those short things can be called fics but i just did). by pairing, there’s

13 of Joe/Nicky

58 of Piers/Leon

56 of Chris/Leon

(1 with Piers/Leon and Chris/Leon)

5 of the ot3 (Chris/Leon/Piers)

11 of Krauser/Leon

3 of Wesker/Chris (lmao still can’t believe this)

1 of Chris/Leon/Krauser

so. in retrospect, i did okay. 

it’s over 300 thousand words and I am kind of. surprised. and that is not counting the approximately 50k of wips i’m ignoring :’D

I’d also like to take a second to thank everyone who has ever sent me nice messages, commented on the fics, left reblogs or kudos, and the like. you’re what kept me going, I wouldn’t have gotten even half as much done otherwise.

without further ado, links to all of the fics under the cut! they’re organized by pairing, and the links take you to tumblr posts (bc I’m lazy) and a lot of them have a link in the post that takes you to ao3. (also can you see I put ~~so much~~ effort into naming the tumblr ficlets :’D feel free to laugh at me)

Joe/Nicky

a dog by any other name | 1,5k | The one wherein they end up owning a dog.

within the heart a flame of desires | 5,0k | Nicolo watches Yusuf have sex with others, desperately wishing he was with him instead. Until things change. He much prefers having Yusuf all for himself.

the world will wait | 2,4k | The one wherein Joe takes a lot of naps and the whole team gets to relax.

catch this | 650w | Every time Joe gets distracted (by Nicky), Andy tries to take him by surprise.

nobody’s perfect | 1,9k | Even immortal warriors have their weaknesses, Nile learns. Those just aren’t what she expected.

only in these arms | 780w | Nicky has trouble sleeping alone. Andy is a decent substitute, but only when Joe returns so does Nicky’s ability to get a decent night’s rest.

(please don’t explain) that time in Malta | 580w | Nile doesn’t think at first it would even be possible for Joe to be embarrassed. By anything. Until one evening, they talk about Malta.

cool it down boys | 400w | Andy gets no sleep. She gets revenge, though.

cowboy, baby | 340w | Nicky has the fashion sense of a sack of flour, and he is fine with that.

that day is not today | 4,9k | They struggle through the whole lab-experience. It isn’t the time yet to forgive Booker.

tea, soup and tlc | 2k | The one wherein Joe is not sick. At all. Nope. He isn't.

two drinks too many | 770w | Nicky is a little drunk. Joe loves him anyway.

safe haven | 3,9k | The one wherein everyone gets quality cuddles from Joe.

Piers/Leon

it was you that I found | 23,4k | Leon doesn’t really do relationships. Not because he doesn’t want to, but because he always seems to be so bad at them. Of course entirely by accident he manages to build one without even realizing it. 

unexpected visitor | 690w | Piers is forced on bed-rest. At least Leon stops by.

got me all tied up (never let me go) | 4,0k | Piers doesn’t like suits. Leon loves Piers in a suit.

not so subtle | 210w | “Soo, were you checking me out all night, or was that just my imagination?” Leon asks suddenly, Piers chokes on his drink in surprise.

nighttime fools | 4,8k | Piers and Leon get arrested for public indecency. It’s not their fault, honest.

piers isn’t sick, really, he isn’t (he is) | 670w | “Oh, hi,” Piers said immediately, a goofy smile slipping onto his face. Man, he was happy to see Leon. So happy to see him.  

so you’ve met Xena | 620w | “Xena?” Leon turned to look at Piers, decidedly unimpressed. “You named your dog after the Warrior Princess?“

you’re cute, you know | 680w | Piers took the opportunity the second their gazes met. He grinned, as charmingly as he possibly managed, and said “You’re cute, you know that?“

kiss the nightmares away | 470w | Sleepily Piers blinked, trying to make his eyes work properly. He squinted at the digital clock on the bedside, and its harsh red numbers that told him it was 3:30, and confusedly he turned to frown at Leon. “Why aren’t you sleeping?“

smooth talking, Nivans, very smooth | 1,4k | Piers can not control what comes out of his mouth.

dream a little (dirty) dream of me | 1,3k | Piers wakes Leon up. That's it.

your shirt is my shirt | 950w | With a sigh Piers grabbed the only shirt available that wasn’t battery operated and obnoxious. It was Leon’s, so old that the print had faded completely, leaving only faint outlines behind. And when Piers pulled it on he grumbled again, realizing how tight it was.

here for you | 620w | Leon can’t sleep, but somehow Piers makes his anxieties bleed away. 

grand plans | 260w | “Are you seriously going to wear that?”

new puppy | 430w | “Hey there little guy.” Leon bent down to pick up the little puppy, straightening again to hold it against his chest. His hands looked almost comically large as the dog was so tiny, and carefully he cradled it close.

a little bit funny | 850w | So maybe Piers hadn’t slept properly in days, and the sleep deprivation was making him a little hysterical, but he didn’t even remember when a stupid comedy would’ve made him laugh so much.

for now our time is here | 4,4k | When Chris had told them to wait up and left them alone for a while, this probably wasn’t what he’d been expecting, but the second he’d closed the door behind himself the tension that had been brewing between Leon and Piers had snapped like a cord.

wanting too much | 1,1k | “Fucking hell, never do that to me again,“ Leon huffed out, clearly relieved beyond anything.

the prettiest agent with the prettiest hair | 1,2k | Piers stress-braids. Leon doesn't mind. And besides, Piers always undoes the braids whenever he's done with them. Until one night he forgets.

you can be the air that i breathe | 1,0k |  It wasn’t the first time Piers got punched in the face by a gigantic BOW so hard that the hit sent him flying. It was, however, the first time he was sent careening off a bridge and into the river below. And it was, definitely, the first time Leon saved his life.  

before I found you | 890w | The second Piers realized that the spikes covering the monster actually came off, and it was able to shoot them towards its attackers, it was already too late for him to react.

you don’t need to stay | 950w | Piers did his best to take care of Leon.  And as much as Leon appreciated it, he didn’t want to be a goddamn nuisance.

need me, baby, just a little stronger tonight | 2,1k | Leon really has to practice perfecting his poker face. At least he gets what he wants in the end.

be my valentine | 920w | “Are you sure?“ Piers asked for the tenth time, frowning down at the bar of Fazer blue chocolate. “I still think it’s… not a lot?”

you're the world that I wanna discover | 7,5k | The one wherein they buy a house, fall even more in love, and Leon reaches a breaking point.

call me (tell me what you feel) | 1,7k | Leon is stuck at the airport. At least he gets a nice phone call with Piers.

incentive to stay alive | 1,0k |  "Hey, Nivans, wake up,” he tried, but there was no answer, and he couldn’t help but let the worry in his voice. “Piers. Don’t you dare die on me. Chris would kill me if I let anything happen to his best sniper.”

blanket hog Leon | 880w | Grumbling, Piers turned around, and as he’d expected Leon was cozily wrapped in at least four blankets, leaving nothing for Piers, who was currently freezing his ass off.

I give you all I am | 2,0k | “Leon?” Piers approached in quick steps, watching recognition flicker in Leon’s eyes as he lowered his own weapon too. Leon was slumped against the wall, hunched over and holding his side, and there was something feverish about his eyes. Yet as soon as he realized it was Piers he gave a shaky grin, even if that was all he managed.

why are the gorgeous ones always taken | 810w | Piers blinked his eyes open slowly, expression scrunched up, and it took a long moment before he managed to actually focus his gaze on Leon’s face. When he did, a smile immediately bloomed on his face, and he even tilted his head a little. “Have I died and gone to heaven?” he croaked out, his voice rough from lack of use.

still intact | 1,1k | It took a week before the level of painkillers was correct and Piers woke up with a gasp instead of a scream. And the first thing he asked was for someone to kill him.

of guns and ...guns | 270w | Leon likes the way Piers handles his rifle. There’s drool involved.

always fashionable | 540w | Apparently having a crush on the well-dressed, professional Leon translated into being absolutely fucking in love with the sleep-mussed and squinty Leon.

misplaced phones and revelations | 660w | Chris finds Piers’ phone. Which turns out to be Leon’s phone. The two turn out to be dating. Chris feels kind of blind.

yee-haw! | 1,0k | Leon rides Piers. Wearing a cowboy hat.

you’re cute when you’re angry | 620w | When he’s stressed, Piers washes the dishes. Angrily.  

want to drink (with) you | 1,1k | Piers is an embarrassing drunk. Leon loves him anyway. 

and each one of us is a path somewhere | 22,2k | Piers gets thrown twenty years back in time. Into Raccoon City, 1998. He’d heard about what Leon went through that night, but he never thought he’d have to actually experience it himself. Together with bright eyed rookie Leon.

hold me close | 560w | Leon falls asleep against Piers’ shoulder. 

goatee man | 890w | Piers thinks growing a beard might make him look more manly. 

promises kept | 2,9k | Leon finds out Piers isn't dead after all. He's just locked up in a BSAA research facility with no one allowed in to visit.

stay with me tonight (stay until the end of life) | 2,2k | Leon doesn’t know I’m contacting you, but a fair warning, because I’m worried. He was found unconscious on the bathroom floor at 10AM. They took him to the hospital, but he checked himself out. Look after him, okay?  

4am | 760w | “What can I say,” Piers grinned against Leon’s neck, “I was dreaming of you.” He had no reservations about moving his hips, letting Leon feel just how nice the dream had been.

caffeinated | 550w | Someone gives Piers coffee. Leon knows what to do with that excess energy.

and i'm you and you're me | 7,0k | The one wherein Leon and Piers accidentally swap bodies.

girls’ day in bed | 780w | Piers and Leon wake up one morning with boobs and other assorted lady parts. It’s a fun day. (Spoiler alert: they have a lot of sex.)

worlds apart | 3,2k | Krauser kidnaps Piers to lure Leon to him. (feat. past Krauser/Leon)

not again | 530w | Watching Piers’ mutation brings Leon some very unfortunate flashbacks. (feat. past Krauser/Leon)

gorgeous | 300w | Piers calls Leon gorgeous.

the most comfortable pillow | 350w | Leon falls asleep with his head on Piers’ lap.

beautiful | 840w | Even after losing an arm and ruining half of his face, Piers is the most beautiful thing to Leon.

as seen in adult films | 580w | Piers doesn’t know one damn thing about dishwashers. He volunteers to fix one anyway.

never letting go | 260w | Leon is goddamn comfortable right here. He isn’t going to move a single inch.

nose kisses | 390w | Piers is cute when he’s cranky. Just ask Leon.

no other half could ever make me whole | 6,3k | The one wherein they get a scare and there's a proposal.

the luxury of being held | 690w | The fabric of Piers’ hoodie is the perfect place to hide. (feat. Theo’s amazing art)

just one step from heaven, one step from paradise | 2,7k | The one wherein Piers makes sure Leon doesn’t freeze, and they enjoy their vacation.

all is fair in war, love and Mario Kart | 600w | Piers sucks at Mario Kart.

Chris/Leon

if i never see all my dreams come true, the one that mattered the most was you | 5,9k |  Chris enlists Leon’s help on a mission as a clever ruse to make the man take a break he so obviously needs. 

and I don't want to know how slow the time must flow | 11,1k | Chris and Leon try to fight their way out of a castle and feelings take over.

you are my heart, you are my home | 3,2k | Chris is sick, and he’s being extra dramatic about it.

from the gates of longing | 5,5k | Chris volunteers to take Leon home, but ends up getting a lot more than he bargained for.

how to accidentally get adopted - a guide by Piers Nivans | 2,3k | Piers accidentally keeps calling Chris dad, and Chris and Leon sort of unofficially adopt him.

right here by your side | 1,9k | When Chris shows up to check up on Leon, four days into his self-imposed flu-exile, at first Leon wants to just throw him out. But then it turns into a relationship-building moment and suddenly he can’t mind all that much.

about time | 1,8k | Leon is freezing. Chris warms him up.

yet you'll lose yourself in me | 3,3k | The one wherein Chris is generously proportioned and Leon kind of loves it. (whispers: size kink)

beyond tomorrow | 1,7k | Leon ends up in the hospital after a mission, Chris hurries to see if he’s okay. Claire is already there.

look at those heart-eyes | 180w | Quickly Chris shook his head, reluctantly pulling his attention away from Leon.

there’s a cat in the sink | 220w | “There’s a cat in the sink, and we don’t own a cat.”

from the future | 300w | It’s 1998 and Leon comes face to face with himself, from 2017.

surprise redfield | 250w | “Don’t worry,“ Chris says, nonchalantly as if it’s an everyday occurrence that he’s standing in Leon’s kitchen.

need this feeling to last (there's no denying) | 2,4k | “Why don’t you fuck me yourself, you coward!“

something solid, something good | 520w | Chris was so warm, and that together with all the glorious skin-on-skin contact made Leon happily sink back into the embrace.

come closer | 520w | Leon is done with Chris being so careful around him.  

your arms around me | 690w | Chris woke up cold and alone.  

a needed break | 440w | Sometimes Chris got so single-mindedly stuck on a task that he forgot everything around himself.

the iron maiden | 820w | Suddenly it was hard to breathe, like he couldn’t fill his lungs with oxygen no matter how much he tried, to the point that his vision started to get blurry. 

robin hood: chris in tights | 480w | Chris’ face was twisted into a theatrical grimace as he tugged a little on the green tights we was wearing. They were like painted on and although he didn’t really have body issues in general, he couldn’t help but feel self-conscious about it.

luckless romance | 4,0k | Leon and Chris turn a drunken argument into something better. (Please note: The link takes you to the last part of six.) 

take my hand | 920w | The worst part, by far, is not seeing anything. There are sounds, people talking like he isn’t even in the room, machines beeping and doors opening, quick busy steps against the floor.

let me take you to the edge of the stars and back again | 3,0k | Chris takes his sweet, sweet time before he gives Leon what he wants.

I’m going to seduce you | 1,1k | Jesus Christ, they’d had sex. Leon groaned again, this time less because of the headache and more because he felt so unbearably dumb. He’d probably had the best sex of his life, and he couldn’t remember it.

a little help | 430w | Those fucking idiots, Claire thought for the millionth time, as she watched her brother give the biggest dumbest heart eyes at Leon, who was blissfully oblivious about everything going on around him.

the way to anyone’s heart (the answer is food, good food)  | 2,4k | Chris asks Leon to teach him how to cook. (Spoiler: Leon doesn't know how.)

oh the horror | 270w | “I seriously don’t understand why you want to watch this shit,” Leon groaned, pressing his face into Chris’ chest.

jealousy | 670w | Chris swallowed hard, downed the last of his beer, and took the leap. “I’m jealous okay.”

twist me up | 510w | Sure Chris had always known that Leon was flexible. Sure he had seen him even do these weird-ass yoga poses more than once. There was nothing new to it.

meet the parents | 600w | Leon brings Chris home for Christmas.

precious cargo | 930w | Chris lugs Leon around like luggage.

it's always been you | 870w  | The hardest thing for Leon was when someone he cared about was in danger but there was nothing he could do about it. And then Chris fell into a ravine.

come away with me (to another world) | 2,0k | Leon finally gets a vacation.

first time sucker | 930w | “I don’t know, because it’s fun?” Leon said. “I promise you, you’re missing out.”

read my scars | 1,9k | Chris learns about Leon's scars.

battered and bruised | 650w | Ignoring the bruises and scrapes he had, Chris turned around and sprinted towards Leon, gritting his teeth against the strain moving put on his side.

a different kind of proposal | 500w | “If you keep fucking me this good,“ he breathed out, unsure if Chris even heard the words, “I’ll have to marry you.“

welcome home | 370w | The door had barely fallen shut behind Chris when Leon was in his personal space, grabbing him by the lapels of the trench coat he was wearing so he could pull him in close for a kiss.

I’d always choose you | 280w | Ada was something they didn’t talk about. When someone, anyone, brought her up Leon clammed up and changed the subject. And Chris had tried to be understanding, had tried to be patient, had tried his very best to respect Leon’s boundaries with this. But Chris was only human.

fuck or die | 1,7k | Chris gets hit by a weird plant, and his hard-on just will not go down. Until Leon takes matters into his hands.

i need a hug | 470w | “I think,“ Leon sighed, but then it was like all fight bled from him and he slumped a little forward. “I need a hug.“

oh no there’s only one bed | 990w | “Don’t be ridiculous. It’s just one night. I’m sure you’ve slept with worse persons than me.”

the butt that became a pillow | 420w | Chris falls asleep on Leon.

like father like son | 2,8k | Leon finds out he has a son.

monster magnet | 1,1k | Leon didn’t know when it had become something he recognized so easily. When had it become so normal for mutated creatures to look at him with such unadulterated lust.

please be okay | 620w | Leon faints from sheer exhaustion. 

like father like... grandson? | 4,1k | Liam proposes to a girl but ends up with Piers anyway. Chris and Leon are the friendly neighborhood grandpas. Their grandson is adorable, and Leon thinks he takes after him. Obviously. (feat. Piers/OMC)

black lace | 790w | Chris gets to come home to Leon in thigh high black lacy stockings and matching lingerie, instantly sending Chris’ brains into an overdrive.

at least let me help | 790w | Leon opens the door an inch, Chris uses the given opportunity to slam it wide open. Metaphorically speaking.

bridal style | 200w | Leon refuses the medical check up. So Chris carries him.

dance with me | 1,0k | Wedding planning with two schmoopy idiots in love.

drunken cravings | 480w | Chris and Leon are drunk, hungry, and incapable of cooking.

blow me | 650w | Chris gets his brains sucked out through his dick.

Claire knows best | 610w | Chris tries to set Leon up with Claire. Then Claire does set Leon up with Chris.

chase the demons away | 940w | Chris struggles with nightmares, Leon is there to hold him through them.

dance me to the end of love | 550w | Leon struggles to learn to dance.

Piers/Leon, Chris/Leon

fate changed (we keep loving as if the story isn't over yet) | 34,3k | In hindsight, Leon knew the second he opened the door and saw Chris standing there, dressed in his service uniform, mouth pinched to a grim line and unable to meet Leon’s gaze straight. There was only one logical reason for it, only one way to explain why he was standing there like he would rather be anywhere else, and Leon almost slammed the door right in his face. --  Or the one wherein no one really knows how to handle their grief, but somehow life goes on anyway. (I’m still so proud of this one negl)

Chris/Leon/Krauser

hearts beating fast (let's make this moment last) | 5,7k | Chris gets invited in for a threesome. The clever thing would’ve been to refuse, knowing his unrequited, helpless feelings. But then again, he’s just a man.

OT3

double the fun | 3,1k | Truthfully, Leon hadn’t thought his day could get this much better. Everything had gone wrong from the second he’d woken up and he’d already written the day off entirely, until the moment Chris had looked him dead in the eye and asked “How do you feel about two at once?”

of cuddles and blanket forts | 620w | Piers and Leon build a blanket fort. Chris would think they’re idiots, but they might actually be kind of brilliant.

hair straightener or waffle iron? | 310w | Chris and Piers break Leon’s hair straightener.

the last piece of the puzzle | 2,7k | The one wherein two becomes three.

not alone | 2,3k | Completely on accident, Piers and Chris happen to be there to save Leon from a tight spot. Cuddles ensue.

Krauser/Leon

drive me crazy (your eyes made me crave for this) | 2,3k | It was the best sex Krauser had ever had in his life. That’s why he kept coming back to Leon, kept saying ‘yes’ every single time the man as much as hinted that he might be up for meeting. He was getting off, and he was enjoying every second of it, and that was the extent of it. There certainly weren’t any feelings involved. None. None at all. 

enjoying the view | 200w | Krauser likes ass-watching.

carry me to bed | 440w | Slowly Leon was coming back to his senses. Sweat was cooling on his skin, the hard surface of the table underneath him starting to feel uncomfortable.  

and I lied that we would be fine | 1,1k | Leon knows he isn’t supposed to be doing this. There’s a vague recollection of something more important, something he should be focusing on, but the vast majority of his world has narrowed down onto the slick slide of their bodies, on the cheap scratchy sheets on his skin, on the sound of Krauser’s voice in his ear, and he can’t bring himself to care.

yet never enough | 1,9k | Krauser likes mirrors.

of wanting | 400w | Leon’s laughter echoed in the room as Krauser pinned him against the wall, before shutting him up with a ravenous kiss.

better with you | 590w | Despite knowing Krauser had his back, Leon was genuinely surprised when the man sat down right next to him instead of telling him to suck it up and get moving.

breakfast | 530w | Lately things had slowly begun to shift. And Leon wasn’t sure yet what was going on. Or how he felt about it.

kill me now | 900w | It was more than clear how much Krauser enjoyed their frantic attempts to kill one another, and Leon’s traitorous body shivered in response, the memory of times long gone returning like no time had passed at all.

lust that I've already spilled | 1,4k | “C’mon, Leon,” Krauser taunted, grinning as widened his stance. “This cock isn’t gonna suck itself.”

will you just look at me | 650w | Krauser refuses to do feelings.

Wesker/Chris

I am the light that shall lead you to darkness | 1,8k | In all honesty, Chris wasn’t entirely sure how he’d ended up here: a panting mess, bent over a massive wooden table with Wesker holding him down laughably easily. 

the light to drown in darkness | 2,0k | Wesker craves Chris. So Wesker takes Chris.

love-hate-(obsession?) | 470w | Wesker is a lovesick fool. If he wasn’t also a homicidal maniac, Jill would almost feel sorry for him.

[villanelleskiss]

KILLING EVE SEASON 3 EPISODE 1 REVIEW

ok... so i’m going to address the elephant in the room before we get started.

this season obviously has it’s issues, the biggest one being that eve got curbed a lot here. she had a lot of potential for a lot of growth here, but we barely see any of it, which leaves a lot of her growth to possibly be half assed in season 4 ( which i hope is not true ). 

the writing overall is ok, as i understand that suzanne heathcote was left with a lot to try and figure out how to pick up. i think overall, she did a good job but it left a lot to still be desired and i do hope that season 4 will address this. 

so now, with getting that out of the way, let’s get on with the show

opening recap here is amazing, i’m sort of upset we didn’t get something like this for season 2. 

also we see young dasha here and i’m wondering if she killed that guy as a contract kill or if she was just a psychopath and the 12 recruited her from that kill. 

totally forgot that villanelle got married. 

here speech here is trying to let us know that she has gotten over eve, but she clearly hasn’t. this is all a gimmick for her to try and force herself to pretend she has. she also talks about Maria in a way that she is only looking at her for what she can give her, the clothes, the house, the pool, etc. not at who she is. 

i just really love this shot. 

so after that whole ballroom scene, they probably instantly got divorced. 

villanelle always looks so good after she’s just gotten beat up, idk what it is about her. 

she still doesn’t like when people use her real name, regardless of who they are to her. (except Eve) 

we see eve’s scar here, and i’m still a tiny bit upset that they didn’t mirror where their scars are. but that’s ok. 

somewhere in here we do see eve shopping at the market buying a lot of junk food ( i will pick back up on this in a few ) 

i love mirroring scene, one of my favorite parts of this episode. 

her room is such a mess, ( to pick back up at the junk food section ). she’s depressed, spiraling, learning how to deal with knowing she killed someone, knowing that she herself was almost killed after she saved that person, then was betrayed by them. 

villanelle just looks so good here and i love how we see tiny bits of her struggling with what she did to eve. she obviously regrets it. 

kenny!!! i love him. 

but let’s take a second to notice the bed pads to the right of him. i have made a post about this before analyzing this which i will link here. this girl is plagued by nightmares and she can’t even escape them in her dreams. i’m so sorry eve. you are the last person who this should’ve ever happened to. and i’m even more angry that the writers took this liberty to do it, bc it’s pretty bad when even the actors were angry about it. 

*not pictured* but we see a scene where villanelle kills again, just a shop keeper and she mirrors one of dasha’s kills, but as villanelle is walking out we get a shot of green screen that apparently the editors forgot to fix. i would put a pic of it here but tumblr has a shitty 10 photo limit on posts. 

rip Kenny. forever in our hearts. and this was absolutely unnecessary. 

this may be the weakest season openings, but i still enjoyed it. 

rating 6.5/10

[tintinwrites]

out of my dreams | Modern!Poe Dameron x Fem!Reader | Part One

A/N: Hey ladies and gents if you ever get married definitely make sure your wedding night is worth 2.5k words alright

Rating: M

Warning: Smut 18+. Naughty words. Age gap relationship bc they’re adults and love is love is love is love.

Word count: 2,537, apparently!!

Summary: It’s the night of your and Poe’s wedding, and you agreed not to have sex for the week leading up to it.

GIF credit: realoscarisaac

                                        ---------------------------

You’d been staring at yourself in the mirror for quite a bit despite having told Poe you only needed a minute to ‘slip into something way less comfortable’.

Was the underwire and sparkling lace poking and scratching at you? Sure, but you had specifically picked this white, glittering number out at a fairly expensive store and you were glad that you did.

You looked damn good.

It wasn’t the first time you’d bought lingerie to wear in the bedroom, but usually it was a little nightgown you picked up for fifteen bucks while buying other things or a pair of skimpy panties you knew would be appreciated for the millisecond they stayed on you.

But this...you decided on the color white as if the traditional color was meant to extend into the wedding night, a bra and underwear set with little lace details stitched onto the shimmering fabric.

You didn’t know if it was conceited of you to think that you looked quite ethereal; you ultimately concluded that women were allowed to think they were hot when they did.

Your breasts had never looked perkier and you looked pretty bangable if you did say so yourself in the lace panties and stockings with the garters that had taken you several minutes to figure out.

And with the price, and the work to put it on, and how attractive you found yourself, you really hoped Poe would like it.

You knew he would, yet you were almost nervous for some reason.

It wasn’t the first time you bought lingerie and it definitely wasn’t the first time you were going to have sex with Poe, and a lot of people who already had sex with each other usually didn’t care about their wedding night and would instead drink until the wee hours of the morning with all their wedding guests.

You and Poe, however, hadn’t had sex in about a week.

And you craved it.

Your first deal you made was to wait a month with no sex to make your wedding night all the more special.

Then you rode Poe as he laid back against the pillows looking at you with admiration that night.

Then you agreed to three weeks and Poe returned home from work saying how he’d been thinking about eating you out which you simply couldn’t decline.

Then you agreed to two week which might’ve worked if you didn’t beg your fiance to — and you could quote this word for word — ‘rail me against the counter until I’m screaming for you’.

Then you agreed to one week and you managed to keep your hands off each other with a lot of self-control.

People were usually surprised when they found out you two had been together for a couple years already with how much you were still into each other.

Some people who’d known you since you got together still disapproved of you being together.

You’d been fresh out of college and working at a coffee shop while you looked for a job when you met Poe, a test pilot who was almost ten years out of college.

How were you supposed to turn the guy down when he looked like that and he was genuinely good and he revealed to you on your first date that he came into your coffee shop every morning even though it was out of the way of his work?

You loved each other and that was the only thing that mattered, and anyone who disagreed could go be bitter somewhere outside of your lives.

“Mrs. Dameron,” Poe sang from outside the door.

“Sorry, babe.” You looked yourself over one more time then opened the door, stepping into your bedroom.

“—fuck.”

“You like it?”

Poe’s answer was to caress your hips and pull you against him, kissing you deeply.

Your hands slid up his chest to find that his suit jacket was off and his collar was hanging open since he’d taken his tie off and undone the first button of his shirt. You gripped his shoulders, nuzzling his jaw as he broke the kiss. “Are you a virgin?” You whispered.

He huffed a laugh, reaching up to snap the stark white strap of your bra against your shoulder.

“I thought you were the virgin.”

“White doesn’t mean you’re a virgin anymore.”

“That reminds me, I don’t think I told you how beautiful you looked today in your dress.”

“Yes, you did.”

When you stood in front of him as tears fell down his cheeks, during the reading of your vows, once you kissed for the first time as husband and wife, taking pictures in between the ceremony and the reception, sitting by you at your reserved table, cutting the cake together, in the car on the way back to your apartment that night, and he told you again as you were going to change out of your dress into your lingerie.

Poe wasn’t ashamed of how many times he told you how gorgeous he found you, changing the subject by sweeping you into his arms and making you yelp as you were gently flung onto the bed.

You were quickly giggling when Poe snapped off the garters and kissed over each thigh as he dragged your stockings down your legs. “These are sexy, but they’re another thing I have to take off you and I’m gonna have to request no more stockings.”

Once they were off, he moved over you and began peppering kisses from your jaw to the tops of your breasts that were spilling out of your bra.

“What would you have preferred I—oh—preferred I wore?” You happily laid there to let Poe move you around, unclipping your bra and pulling it down your arms.

“No, no, I didn’t mean that. You picked something perfect.” His kisses continued down your body.

“I think you’d say that if I’d walked in here wearing only a lacy thong.”

Poe’s fingers were hooked into your underwear and he paused his pursuit of dragging them down your thighs to look at you with a dark gaze. “Promise me I might come home to you in nothing but a lacy thong.”

You hummed, gently scratching his head with the fancy fake nails you’d been convinced to get for your wedding. He leaned into your touch until your panties and garters reached your knees, and he had to move away to pull them down off your ankles.

He parted your thighs to look appreciatively between your legs. “I’ve missed you, baby.”

Now you shoved his head playfully and shook your head at his antics.

“I did! I’ve been thinking about this tight, warm home of mine all week.” He pulled away with exaggerated sadness in his eyes that made you giggle, unbuttoning his shirt fully.

“You’re stupid.” Your horny tone did not match your words as you watched him remove his shirt then undo his pants.

“Am I? Because I know you like I know the back of my hand, sweetheart. And I know what your eyes do when…” He eased his pants and underwear down to let his hardening cock spring free, and your eyes practically glazed over with arousal as he knew they would.

“Not my fault you have the prettiest dick in the whole world,” you whined, sitting up and beckoning him over.

He obliged you without a single complaint, sitting on the bed and tugging you by your hips to pull you into his lap. Your hands went to his hair as you kissed him deeply, pushing your tongue into his mouth much to his delight.

But he pulled away to start pressing slow, marking kisses down your neck, taking one of your nipples into his mouth when his lips reached your breasts and sucking on it.

Poe loved your tits.

And your ass...and your pussy.

Come to think of it now, there wasn’t a part of you that he didn’t practically adore; he loved you from the top of your head to the bottom of your feet.

You loved every bit of him the same.

...but his ass was really the cutest and probably one of your favorite parts of him — if not the favorite.

Your nails raked through the hair at the nape of his neck then your wrists fell loosely to his shoulders, something to hold onto as you arched your breasts closer to the attention that was going straight to your needy clit.

He moved to your other breast and very gently bit down on your nipple, smirking against you when your hips rolled against his in pleasure.

You sat there for a few moments with his mouth working on your breasts as you grinded on top of him, both of you working each other up and moaning with each jolt, then his lips made their way back up to yours.

Alternating between your lips and your jaw, he mumbled against the latter softly.

“Position?”

“Everyone says missionary is really boring, but I love it when you’re on top. Please?”

“Sweetheart, you don’t have to beg me for anything. Aside from occasional orgasms. Not on our wedding night, though.”

“I want to be close to you. If that makes sense.”

He laid you back against the pillows, moving over you to lay between your legs. “Perfect sense.”

Your arms went around his shoulders and your legs around his waist where you let your heels push against his ass to squeeze him closer, bucking your hips slightly.

“I’m guessing you’re ready,” he laughed, lining himself up and raising an eyebrow when the tip of his cock pressed to your soaked entrance.

“We haven’t touched each other in a week and you sucked on my tits while I humped you like crazy...I’m ready.” You pushed on his ass again, gasping softly as his tip pushed into you.

He kissed you as he slowly slid his cock into your entrance, stretching you like he always did and almost seating himself all the way inside you; he knew every bit of you, though, and stopped with most of himself in the warmth he loved.

His lips pressed sloppily to yours and then he let his head slide down to your shoulder, relishing in the sensation of you around him.

The time you’d both agreed not to have sex to make your wedding night a little more special might have made him appreciate this more.

But he was like this pretty much any time you took it slow; savoring every moment when he was inside you.

“I’m inside my wife,” he said all dreamily, lifting his head to look at you with the goofiest, most beautiful grin you were sure you’d seen.

“My husband is inside of me.” You thought it was silly at first, but something about thinking of how you were now husband and wife made your cunt squeeze around him.

Maybe it was the new bond, or the promise of having each other forever, or something else.

You had no idea.

None of it really mattered when your husband was moaning on top of you at the squeeze of your cunt and starting a gentle pace against you.

You loved having Poe’s cock inside of you and it was always almost enough to get you off, the rhythm of his thrusts as he pumped into you making you whine in pleasure.

His dick was one of the most incredible things you’d ever had the privilege of feeling every ridge of it drag out of you then push back in.

There were times he would angle himself perfectly to make you gush all over him, but tonight was intimate; one of his hands disappeared between you, rubbing circles on your already swollen clit.

Your hands buried themselves in his hair, tugging him down to kiss him hard, again and again, gasping between each one. “I love you, baby.”

He pressed his head to yours, eyes closed and brow furrowed as his hips sped up a little.

“I love you too, sweet girl...fuck...I knew I was gonna spend the rest of my life with you, but today was a nice reminder about how happy that makes me.”

“Oh, no, I am not crying during sex.”

“You mind if I do a little?”

“I mean, if you’re gonna cry…”

“Maybe we are virgins.”

“Fuck, Poe.”

You let out a loud laugh despite the tears falling from the corners of your eyes, kissing his nose and his lips.

His finger stroked the perfect part on your clit, tingling moved over your cunt like electricity and seemed to fizzle into your thighs, almost numbing you yet making your sensations even stronger at the same time.

The two of you could be giggling through sex, but then your pleasure would build too much and Poe would press his face into your neck in this position, and everything would be forgotten as you both sought to reach your orgasm.

Poe knew you were close when you would get all wiggly; your eyes would close, and your mouth would fall open slightly, and you would start bucking your hips in search of the friction that was getting you off.

You would flutter around him a little then you’d arch your back and—

Your pussy would clench around him tight as your muscles released their built up tension and you would either moan or cry out depending on how good it was, then you’d hold onto him tight while your cunt continued to clench around him.

If he was the least bit close, your orgasm would send him over the edge.

You knew he was about to come — even in the haze of your own orgasm — when he’d whimper into your neck and whisper a bunch of sweet nothings, his hips snapping into yours almost desperately without their previous rhythm.

Both of you had known each other long enough to know each other’s tells, but you didn’t care.

It only encouraged you when you knew the other was being pleasured.

And how could you care when now you were coming down from your high all satisfied? And how could Poe care when he was spilling his warm cum into you, thrusting sloppily a couple more times and then enjoying the privilege of laying on top of the woman he loved?

Knowing each other like this pretty much guaranteed good orgasms from a loving partner.

Poe moved to roll off you once he was able to think straight again, but you held onto him to keep him at least halfway on you, cuddling into his arms.

He huffed a laugh, pressing a kiss to your head. “That was fucking incredible.”

You smiled at him.

“It’s always incredible. I honestly can’t think of a time when even the most basic sex with you wasn’t the best thing ever.”

“Must’ve been good if you’re stroking my ego willingly.”

You nudged him playfully, watching him roll over to turn off the light and holding onto his arm when he turned back to hold you again.

His fingers traced along your side as you absentmindedly strokes over his forearm, both of you starting to doze.

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

[virginbutstillahoe]

supernatural: an essay

hello fellow clowns.

i need to get some things off my chest, so here we are.  read it, don’t read it, it’s up to you buttercup.  love you.

i’ve been watching since i was 11.  since 2009.  this show raised me.

my father was a really bad guy.  i’ve alluded to it a few times on here but, he was a really abusive and horrible man.  so, i leaned on this show.  it taught me, that even with an abusive father and a difficult hand dealt to me, that i could keep fighting and find the family that i could call my own.

it taught me that family didn’t end in blood.  you control your destiny.  love is stronger than your crap life.  don’t give up, baby.

i am angry about the finale.  enraged even.  but i still love this show and the actors and crew members that made it possible.  that will never change.  this show is what pulled me from the ledge more times than i can count.  made me laugh when i thought i never could again.  did more for me than words can describe to be perfectly honest.  

you may say, molly, it’s a stupid show with bad special effects and sometimes bad acting, there’s no way it’s that special to you.  and to you i say, i am so sorry for you that you don’t know what it’s like to love and enjoy something with your whole heart.

----

now, dean winchester is my favorite character of anything ever.  yes, castiel is a CLOSE fucking second, but dean is just god tier for me.  he is so human and so much like me.  he is the main thing that made me realize, hey, it’s okay to take your time in growing and to be damaged.  it’s okay to be flawed.  he is everything castiel said in his final moments and more.  a true lover.  a man who would put his family (blood relatives and non blood relatives) before anyone or anything.  

destiel aside.  it is OUT OF CHARACTER for dean winchester to not immediately ask for jack to bring cas back as soon as he had all of god’s power.  completely.  jesus christ he even asked GOD to bring him back.  

to continue, dean not asking to see cas as soon as he finds out that he’s not in the empty?  you have got to be kidding.  

i am a destiheller.  i won’t even try to lie here, i am.  but seriously, let’s just say for the sake of the argument, that dean isn’t in love with cas.  still, dean winchester would have wanted to see his best friend.  cas died.  dean would have wanted to find him and hug him immediately if he knew he was around.

jesus, didn’t you see him when he found cas in purgatory?

there is literally NO reason that castiel wasn’t present in the finale.  zero.

----

i am okay with dean dying for the ending.  i actually really am.  i liked the idea of dean dying to save two children, and doing what he loved. but immediately after they defeat chuck?  why?  couldn’t he have had a few years of joy?  of freedom?  why, after everything they’ve been through, did they continue to punish this amazing man, who was nothing but heroic and selfless for the world until the end?  i just don’t understand.

----

on a more positive side, my sammy.  he finally got a long and happy life.  albeit without dean but, he still had the chance to enjoy his freedom, and get the apple pie life he always dreamed of.  

and dean, oh my dean.  his ending?  i am angry about how it came about, but a heaven filled with the people he loves?  thank you for that.  thank you for bobby being there to greet him, for being at harvelle’s and kicking back.  thank you.

----

sorry to tell you, but i’m back to anger.  

misha. goddamn. collins. 

this man has done so much good for this show, for its fans, and for honestly the world in general.  he came on as as two second plot episode character that they planned to throw away after they used him to connect a couple dots, and his performance was so incredible, they ended up having to throw all their plans away and readjusting.  

he made this show good again, he gave it some life.  i would watch the show so intensely, hoping to see his face when episodes would air.  just his sheer presence in an episode made it more enjoyable.

how did he do that?

what do they give him for his service?  

- a death with almost no reaction from the other characters on the show

- a two second mention in the finale without any appearance

- his final words on the show being a prank call from fucking lucifer a long time hated character (and actor) on the show

- and the showrunners using his pull with the fans to trick us into watching an ending where he was nowhere in sight.

you might be saying, wait.  what do you mean by that last bullet.  well my little cherry blossom, let me explain.  

the writers and showrunners KNOW that we love misha and castiel.  they know it.  as i mentioned before, it was our love of the two of them that kept him on the show in the first place.  they know that his presence is what kept the show afloat.

so, they decided to use that to their advantage.  they became super mysterious and shifty about his whereabouts during the filming of the finale.  why?  why would they do that unless they were worried that we would lose interest and find somewhere else to be when the finale aired because our favorite part of the show was gone?  

they toyed with us just to ensure that we would maintain the ratings on their last hurrah.  and you know what?  that really feels like an enormous slap to the face.  

because guess what?  i would have fucking watched anyway.  would i have been upset and a little hurt that cas wasn’t in it?  absolutely, for all the reasons i described.  but i wouldn’t have been holding my breath in hopes of seeing him the entire time, and then have my heart ripped out of my chest like that in disappointment.  

i would have been able to appreciate the ending for what it was, and accept it wasn’t going to be exactly what i wanted ahead of time.  i wouldn’t be so angry now.  

and i resent them for making me feel that way.  this show did so much for me and is so much of the reason why i’m still here today, and they ruined it for me.  i am so angry that they took something so precious to me, and crushed it, just to get those extra bucks in from keeping the ratings in a good spot.  fuck you.  

----

during that whole montage of sam growing old and having a family (which i literally honestly loved, alright?) instead of having dean drive the car, which we’ve seen him do 384729387423 times, we could have seen dean reuniting with his mom, with charlie, fuck WITH CAS, and giving jack a nougie.  things that actually made sense, and made the most of the finite time we had left.  

i didn’t even need a love confession.  even just a hug, or an appearance from cas would have been enough for me.  because i know, romantic love or not (even though we all fucking know it’s romantic but since so many homophobic people watch the show we have to keep it dubious ugh), cas would be a part of dean’s heaven because cas is part of dean’s family, which is what gets dean out of bed every morning.  

----

listen, i am happy that the final minutes of the show were just sam and dean, hugging, and loving each other.  after all, that’s what started it all, right?  i’m just saying, they screwed us, the characters, and the legacy of the show for what seems to be no apparent reason.  it was just laziness, homophobia, or something else that doesn’t make any sense to me.  

what was the point of the deancas relationship arc for there to be no resolution?  what was the point of brining eileen into sam’s life for them not to be together?  

i truly, just don’t understand.  i don’t.

they really could have made this something amazing, and jaw dropping, but they chose not to.  and i will never forgive them.

----

all that being said though, thank you supernatural.  thank you for making me who i am today.  thank you for making me laugh, cry, and survive so long.  there are memories, people, and messages that you sent to me that will stay with me forever, and that i will never forget.  

to the actors, i hope you know, that any anger you might see from me, or from most of us (don’t want to speak for everyone), are at the writers, not you.  i see all of your hard work and your devotion.  you are everything that makes this show great.  you are what made this show.  thank you for everything.  

and to jensen specifically, i am truly sorry.  i really thought you were being an ass and that you didn’t like the ending bc of stupid reasons, but it turns out you were right.  i’m sorry they didn’t listen to you, and i’m sorry that i doubted you.  you’ve done nothing but love this character and give it your all, and you and misha really got shot in the foot.

your hard work did not go unnoticed.  

thank you for listening if you did. 

i love you all and it has truly been a pleasure.

i’m gonna tag a few people under the bar in case they’re curious about my thoughts. i might not really talk to a lot of you but i really respect your opinions and like you guys.  so yeah (:

tag list @prayedtoyou @destiel-is-canon-i-guess @starrynightdeancas @green-eyes-and-classic-rock @thetiredstuff

[castielnova]

updated: got tagged by treasured mutuals @tennet & @softjensen (thank you!! 💕 always love to learn more about my treasured mutuals ❤️)

name/nickname: juri

gender: whatever y’all Perceive me as, anything works for me honestly (i probably give off big mender vibes tbh but my ideal is jender sjdfakdjh)

star sign: your resident bullshit— taurus 

height: slightly taller than the global average but still one of the shortest in my extended family (can y’all tell i’m somewhat insecure lol)  

birthday: 19th may

fave bands: the gazette & linkin park

fave solo artists: hmmm probably the fame album era lady gaga

song stuck in my head: i found by amber run (thanks playlist anon mwah ❤️)

last movie: a silent voice (am not much of a movie person but i had to write a paper on mental illnesses portrayed in pop culture and this was an anime classic so)

last show: i honestly don’t recall asjdfhksa lately i’ve been hyperfixating on destiel fics after destiel fics yikes

when did i create this blog: 2012 i think? (listen… i have seen too much and should be retiring into the grave at this point)

what i post: low quality spn shitposts lmao

last googled: average height in the world

other blogs: i have one somewhat popular snk blog (that’s still getting notes occasionally) but it’s been dead since 2017 so

do i get asks: i apparently only get asks for being a jack kinnie now help (used to regularly get a bunch for art/dj requests back in the good ol’ days when i was an anime blog)

following: 46 blogs currently! (but only the ~15 spn-infected blogs i follow are active sjdhaskjdfh the rest mostly died around the same time i did back in 2017? couldn’t bring my sappy ass to unfollow them still)

followers: ehh i’ve gained over 300 new followers since reviving this account on 25th nov

why i chose this url: ✨i love castiel✨

average hours of sleep: around 6 during the holidays and if i don’t self-sabotage about 8 during school days

lucky number: 8

instruments: piano, guitar and ukulele (but i suck at all of them so YIKES)

what i’m wearing: a sleeveless green army shirt with floral shorts lmao

dream trip: i desperately want to go back to japan for the scrumptious food man gOSH

favourite food: black sauce chicken vs garlic chili prawn vs mentaiko on raw salmon or seasoned lobster fucking FIGHT

nationality: somewhere in asia 🌚

fave song piece: elegie op. 3 no. 1 vs prelude in c sharp minor by rachmaninov FIGHT

last book i read: Satin and Sawdust (...shut up Ltleflrt is a Solid writer ok)

top 3 fictional universes id live in: i’m a massive action/horror fan so ehh i’m not particularly keen to live in any fictional universes i know of lol but if i was held at gunpoint:  

SCP for all its wholesome and wicked entities (used to read scp profiles like bedtime stories; some had fan lore so wholesome it left me in tears skjdfaskjdf)

D.Gray-man cause the whole verse is A Vibe however dangerous it is

IB (it’s an iconic horror rpg game y’all should check it out) for the same reason of it being A Whole Vibe (it’s basically an eden for any artist!)

favourite colour: all shades of blue

edit: no tags bc i’m just updating an old tag post lmao 💕

[in-tua-deep]

I haven't interacted before but I love all your aus and your writing! Reading them a while back got me back into the umbrella academy. I just read your ben saves the day au and everything about it is amazing and also makes me very sad. Do you think Klaus was there or ever manifests himself with his powers or something? It's wonderful where it ends but the whole family together would make it so much happier...

!!!!! thank you!! and thank you even more for asking me about the ben saves the day au bc I actually did have a vague idea on how to get Klaus back in the au and even though your idea with him managing to manifest himself with his own powers is probably way more valid my brain produced a slightly. stranger option lmao

(ben saves the day au can be found right here)

So it’s after everyone has gone home. Ben is left in his apartment with his two cats and also Five who, Ben is discovering, is super super messed up about everything. 

(every day Ben thanks god that Five is living with him and not in the manor where there are about six hundred different triggers floating around)

Ben tells his coworkers that, with his father’s death (which they know about bc of his time off work) he gained custody of his 'nephew’ who Ben would have stolen years ago if he’d even thought that he was in the house (truth) and that Five has multiple issues

his coworkers are very supportive

Ben calls in a few favors and manages to get Five’s existence legalized by claiming that Five is his own son who Reginald managed to get his hands on after the death of the original Five. 

(“I would have been sixteen, Ben.”

“People have had kids younger, and you were a teenage runaway. People would absolutely believe you made bad life choices.”

“Ben!”)

And Ben has friends, okay. His coworkers are all super supportive and swing around with extra food and hand me down clothes from their own teenage kids and other supplies that Ben might need as the sudden guardian of a teenage boy. 

And Five doesn’t even have to do anything to sell the lie, because he’s wary of all of them, flinches at loud noises, and they all see him pocketing extra food when he thinks no one is looking. Five tends to retreat to the bedroom (it’s a one bedroom apartment - him and Ben are sharing right now) when people come over and since Ben has politely asked Five to Not use his powers around his friends until he tells them he’s the Horror on his own terms, Five can’t even sneak to the kitchen or anything

They worry about Ben’s financial situation, taking on a kid on such short notice, but Ben assures them that he’s fine and that he can just use his father’s inheritance money.

(Reginald was a billionaire. They are all legally his children. None of they are actually going to be wanting for money for a good long while.)

So everything is settling down and smoothing out. Ben has custody of Five. Allison is in negotiations with Patrick and is being allowed supervised visits with her daughter. Luther and Vanya are both in therapy. Diego is grudgingly using Reginald’s money to buy a new place that isn’t a boiler room that’s big enough for both him and Grace (and of course to get her charging station to a portable state) and last Ben heard he was looking at somewhere pretty close to where Ben and Five live, which is a nice thought. Ben’s trying to convince Luther to move out of the manor as well and get his own place, and he’s at least thinking about it so - progress.

That’s around the time when Ben goes to sleep and has a really wild dream.

The dream is desaturated, and there’s a little girl on a bicycle. She looks very aggrieved. 

“Are you Ben?” She demands to know.

“Uh,” Ben says very intelligently, because he was not expecting to be interrogated by a little girl in his dream. This is probably Five’s fault because the little gremlin convinced Ben that ice cream for dinner was necessary. Are ice cream dreams a thing? “Yes.”

The girl tosses her hands up in sarcastic triumph, “Wonderful! Then he can be your problem! I have held on for as long as humanly possible, but I’m done. He’s constantly badgering me and I can’t handle it. You idiots already mucked around in the time stream, this shouldn’t cause reality to collapse. Probably.”

“What?” Ben asks blankly, because reality collapsing sounds a little bit concerning. 

“You’ll see.” The little girl promises darkly, waving her hand.

And then Ben wakes up, and he wakes up wheezing because what the fuck, was Five jumping on his stomach like an actual five-year-old right now? He opens his eyes, and meets startled green ones and a mop of curly hair that definitely does not belong to Five. 

“Ben!?” The boy who is definitely Klaus who is dead yelps loudly, startling back and waking up Five who startles bad enough to roll completely off the bed and scramble to his feet.

Klaus looks exactly the way he did when he died. Sixteen years old with a wild mop of hair that Reginald had been threatening to cut for weeks. 

(He looks like Nathan Young in Misfits, y’all. That’s it.)

“Klaus!?” Five yells, making Klaus swing around to stare at Five with equally wide eyes. 

“You can see me?” Klaus asks, incredulously, patting himself down. He’s in the umbrella academy uniform and Ben allows himself a moment to close his eyes and swallow his grief because he is apparently the responsible adult in this situation. 

“Klaus,” Ben says gently, and both boys attention go to him, “Does God happen to look like a little girl on a bike, by any chance?”

“Uh,” Klaus manages, which Ben takes as confirmation.

He pinches the bridge of his nose to hold back the headache (and the tears because Klaus is here and he’s not dead anymore except he was dead and Ben doesn’t have the emotional capacity to deal with this at ass o’ clock in the morning). He pulls off the covers and swings himself out of bed, quickly crossing the room to open some drawers. 

Klaus and Five both watch him warily, but it’s unfounded. All Ben does is grab an old t-shirt and some sweatpants and toss them at Klaus. 

(Klaus doesn’t even lift his hands to catch them, just looks alarmed when they hit him in the face. Ben does not apologize, because he might laugh and if he laughs he will cry)

“It is,” Ben glances at the alarm clock, “Three twenty six in the morning. I am going to call off work today so we can deal with... whatever this is. But that’s not happening at three in the morning. Klaus, get changed, you aren’t sleeping in that. The bed might be a squeeze but at this point I don’t care.”

Klaus is wide-eyed and Ben’s heart aches but he gives a quick shaky nod and just starts peeling off his uniform there and then. Ben crawls back into bed, scooching over so he’s in the middle and impatiently gesturing at Five, who still has his back to the wall like a cornered animal. 

Without taking his eyes off of Klaus, Five slowly creeps back over to the bed. Usually Ben gives Five his space on the bed, but that’s not going to work tonight with three of them so when Five crawls in Ben wraps an arm around his still tiniest brother and presses a kiss against that dark mop of hair. 

Five’s face pulls into a scowl but he doesn’t protest the actions, allowing himself to curl into Ben’s warmth. 

Klaus hovers at the edge of the bed once changed, looking uncertain. Ben’s sweatpants are a bit short on him - even at sixteen Klaus is lanky, but serviceable. 

“Come on then,” Ben says, reaching out a hand because he has two arms. Klaus doesn’t need more of an invitation, rocketing into the bed and crashing against Ben’s side, making the bed sway and Five yelp a protest. 

Klaus’s skin is ice cold (Ben had forgotten his brother’s unfortunate circulation issues) but Ben doesn’t shove him away. Just tucks his arm around Klaus’s bony shoulders and reels him in closer, because his bed really isn’t that big and he doesn’t want either of his brothers to fall out. 

Klaus sniffles wetly, and Ben leans over to press a kiss into Klaus’s curly mop of hair. Five makes a small sound of protest - his need to be an attention hog temporarily overruling his dislike of being treated like a child. 

“Go to sleep,” Ben tells both of his boys sleepily, “We’ll figure things out in the morning.”

He gets some vague confirmation noises from both sides (though Klaus still sniffles) and Ben really is tired because he barely closes his eyes before falling back into the void of sleep.

His last thought before he falls is - Please, god, let this not be a dream.

He wakes up in the morning feeling heavy. This is because Klaus has rolled in the night to be pretty much bodily on top of Ben, his curly hair tickling at Ben’s nose and his elbow kind of digging into his stomach. Five is on his other side, plastered against him. Their legs are all tangled enough that Ben can’t actually tell which foot belongs to him, Five, or Klaus. 

A quick check of the time reveals that he still had a few minutes before his alarm goes off. 

On one hand, Ben never wants to leave this bed. He’s a little bit afraid that moving will make the magic vanish, and Klaus will disappear again, but he also really needs to call work and tell them he can’t come in today. So reluctantly, he shifts to free his hands from the pile and in doing so manages to wake both boys.

It’s a sleepy slow waking up, Five grumbling in a way that Ben will never tell him is adorable and Klaus giving a while as his limbs straighten in a big stretch. They both open their eyes, see each other and Ben, and blink in alarm.

Ben does not want a repeat of the early morning and just shrugs them both off of him, “Good morning.” He greets them as he peels himself out of bed with a yawn. “Give me a minute to call work. Five, show Klaus where the bathroom is - ”

“I know where it is.” Klaus cuts Ben off, and then proceeds to look surprised when Ben actually pauses at the interruption. 

“What is going on.” Five doesn’t even asks, because he seems to have accepted that this is their lives, their cosmic punishment for having superpowers or something. He just looks between Klaus and Ben like one of the will make the world make sense again.

Ben sympathizes. He can feel a full blown freak out building up in his chest - he just needs to call work and then call the rest of the family to come over as well before he can have it. 

“Hold that thought.” Ben says, holding up a finger as he scoops his phone up and walks to the kitchen to make his call.

And he sends the bat signal to the family is a succinct “hey guys please come to the apartment asap klaus showed up in my room last night, five can confirm” which absolutely sets that cat among chickens as the group chat BLOWS UP but ben can’t bring himself to read everything so he just. starts making breakfast.

five and klaus emerge from the bedroom and five has his hand clamped around Klaus’s elbow and Klaus is sort of boggling at the connection and isn’t protesting and five’s face looks tight and ben can see that freak out waiting to happen as well

and that’s how klaus ends up back with the family. God kicks him out because she doesn’t like him, Ben gets the shock of his life, Five is very concerned, and the whole family ends up freaking out

Ben ends up getting a bigger bed because Klaus ends up staying with him and Five

Ben ends up finally coming clean to all his friends about being the horror and that Five is not his nephew but is actually his time travelling brother and also his brother who had powers to do with the dead has come back from the dead

(and yes, these brothers are also the very same brothers he named his cats after - at least Seya and Brat take Klaus’s presence like champs. it’s almost like they’re used to him being around already...)

ben should really consider getting a bigger apartment considering there are now three of the living in there but honestly?? Five doesn’t sleep well alone (which they figured out when Ben tried to take the couch in the early days) and Klaus is an absolute octopus who is constantly marveling at being able to have human contact and Ben really doesn’t have the heart to kick them out of his room so.

(they’re both so touch starved, and they both break Ben’s heart)

but also the bigger apartment consideration might be necessary because every single sibling seems to trot through Ben’s apartment with great frequency. it’s a thing. they all want to spend time with Five and Klaus.

(there’s a heartbreaking moment where Five thinks that because Ben had Klaus back he’s going to kick Five out which they both hug it out over)

they all have to figure it out together and it’s a big mess but at the end of the day

what’s family for?

[sugarandspice-games]

I guess this is becoming a trend... I’m popping in before the actual intro to clarify-- if the text is in italic, it is me (Sugar) talking and regular is Spice. Alright? Cool. And so--

So, one night I’m going through youtube and I come upon this one shitposty video about some random anime that I’ve never even heard of. After doing some research, I discover that it’s actually based on a dating sim that I’ve also never heard of. As a joke I was like “Hey Sugar wanna watch this as a joke, it might be funny” and so we did. And uhm. Well.

Today we’re gonna be reviewing Brothers Conflict, aka Sweet Home Alabama 2: Electric Anime Boogaloo aka the anime that ruined our lives. [Again, disclaimer: neither Sugar nor I condone incest and/or pedophilia, two themes which are uh, very rampant in this anime which is why I cannot recommend it in good faith. It’s not good, don’t get me wrong. I can’t really say that I liked it even if watching it and ragging on it was kind of enjoyable, and I did get attached to some of the characters because that’s the kind of idiot I am. Also, we’re not shirking our duties to write I swear please don’t kill me--] Anyway, an obligatory SPOILER WARNING though this probably isn’t going in the main tag bc I do not want the fans to publicly stone me. Why are we reviewing this? Bc we need to talk about it somewhere. Though I say review lightly bc this... is really more of a critique.

ALSO we only watched the anime, idk if things are different in the game. There is no full english translation for the games and most of the LP channels have been copyright striked, so please don’t come at us for not knowing anything. I also know that otome games and dating sims don’t tend to translate well to anime, and I will be addressing this later.

So, dear god, where do I begin.

Where do we begin indeed? How about the fact that her name is Ema and I had to google to remember the heroine’s name? Also, she is seventeen.

Our plot, or well... what you COULD call a plot, I guess, if you REALLY wanted to give this anime that much credit, focuses on the aforementioned seventeen year old Hinata Ema, who has an absent father who apparently FOUND THE TIME TO FALL IN LOVE AND GET MARRIED BUT NEVER HAS A SECOND TO SPARE FOR HIS ONLY CHILD, RINTARO I SWEAR TO GOD I AM TAKING CUSTODY OF YOUR CHILD. HAND HER OVER-- Anyway. He’s getting married to a woman who has 13 sons (jesus christ ma’am have you ever heard of a condom?) and he decides to move her in with them because... I guess he has less braincells than I have balls, which is to say, zero. Hi, I’m trans.

So, Ema moves in with them... along with her talking grey squirrel, Juli. Juli is... interesting and by interesting, I mean-- ABSOLUTELY PUZZLING. He, apparently, has seen the majority of Ema’s life from babyhood to teenagerhood and can talk but is only understood by Ema (who he calls Chii) and Louis, the eighth son in the Asahina family. It is never explained why, or how Chii came across him or how in an episode, a single episode, he becomes human because why the hell not, I guess??? (Also, he is pretty. YES. I said it. Fight me.) [Quick Spice intervention, this squirrel can talk to people, transform into a human, enter dreams, and live way longer than a squirrel should since the average lifespan of a squirrel is like 6 years in the wild. Juli is apparently a god as none of this is EVER explained.]

And when she meets the Asahina family, it’s pretty much immediately chaos because these heterosexual (I guess? They look like a bunch of twinks to me but there goes anime trying to convince me that straight people are real and not a lie made up by Trump) men have NEVER and I mean NEVER known a woman in their entire lives, since they seem to want to bang their stepsister immediately. And most of them are GROWN ASS ADULTS. Only three of them are actually minors (though Iori is 18 and only one year older so I guess??? It’s okay??? But still weird) and one of them is a 13 year old who looks and acts like he’s 8.

Oh, and did I mention that out of these boys, only the adult triplets and the abusive asshole 16 year old get any kind of characterization AND character development? I mean, Subaru gets an “arc” if you can call it that, but really, they don’t give him much... personality. You could replace him with a cardboard cutout and it’d be the same. I feel bad for him (but not really because dude you are 20 and she is your sister, what the fuck--)

But if there’s anything good about this anime, it is the characters themselves. Several of the boys have redeeming qualities and interesting personalities and quirks, as well as interesting relationships and dynamics with each other. Yes, some of them are lacking in the plotline department while others may have decent plotlines and lack personality, and then some of them are just given absolutely nothing (COUGH Masaomi COUGH Ukyo COUGHCOUGHCOUGH Iori, and by the way, what the fuck is that game plotline bc I read the wiki since I wanted to know more about him. We don’t have time to unpack the mento illness luv. But you’re telling me they had all this meat to work with and they threw it in the trash and gave him nothing? What the hell?) And if anything, I feel as if the characters themselves are crippled by the plotline. If given a different story, perhaps, they may have room to shine, because a lot of them are compelling if not lovable (though some may not be... lovable. COUGHFuuto, at least not for me.) If you want to see our review on the characters, we’ll put out another post.

Iori... Iori has a hell of a plot in the game, according to the Wiki but I can’t blame the writers for not exploring all of it because whoa. It is dark and not in a good way. But back to the subject at hand... I agree with Spice. I do/did like quite a lot of the characters... provided the entire romantic plot is taken away but we will go into more of why the plot is problematic below. All I can really add is: There is a baby in this dumpster and canon has been taken out back to be shot like a lame horse.

This brings me to a point in which I would like to pause the character discussion and bring up a glaring flaw with this anime in general (aside from the... plot. Look, I’m not a huge fan of weird stepsibling stuff but I think that if you want to do something like that, there are ways to do it and ways not to do it. This was the way not to do it, which I’m getting to). The biggest thing that made this anime so uncomfortable was the imbalance of power dynamics. Why is the protagonist 17 when most of the love interests are 18 and older, and I mean much, much older? And she’s not any 17 year old... she’s a lonely, neglected girl who is starved for the love of a family. This makes her easily manipulated by the brothers, who clearly desire her for less than wholesome reasons, and that makes it skeevy. I’m not sure why there’s such a fetishization of nonconsent in media, as if it’s fine for as many men to lust after female protagonists as the writer desires BUT the woman can’t want a single one of them in return. It’s creepy, and quite frankly, I am very much over it. I also get that the age thing is probably a product of the protagonist of a teenager oriented dating sim not translating well to an anime (because really, all otome game MCs are meant to be a neat little pair of shoes for the player to imagine themselves in), but why are we fetishizing a teenager being groomed by adults anyway? Especially adults who have this much power over her to begin with? The power dynamics bring this plot from “Oh, this might be kinda trashy but it could be entertaining” to “This is extremely creepy and rapey and kind of a dumpster fire.”

This is also true. If we were to take age into consideration, Fuuto, Yusuke, and Iori would be the three candidates left for Chii. This is taking out the youngest as well, who is... thirteen, I think? But anyway, (I know I am probably going to get some hate for this but go for it), I am into stories that explore the stepsibling thing and it can make a good narrative-- but before everyone gets uppity: There is a line between FICTION and REALITY and I do not condone real life incest but a story is a story and there are ways to frame it that make it clear that it is not a romantic thing, or acceptable. This anime does not do that in it’s dynamics because some of the brothers do start off in that very firm caregiving, family role and it is a sharp turn into romance that makes you go, “?” or in Fuuto case, a blending that does lean into fetishization.

All in all I think the plot maybe could have been okay? I’m not saying it isn’t problematic, because we all know it is, who are we kidding? But I don’t think it’s wrong per se to explore family dynamics with romance and to understand where the line should be drawn, and maybe exploring the definition of family itself. I have seen fanfictions with similar tropes ask those questions and explore the concept beautifully without romanticizing or fetishizing incest and unhealthy power dynamics. It could have been good, and I get that perhaps I’m barking up the wrong tree by expecting mature themes in an anime based on an otome game, but it also could have been a lot less... creepy (I have used that word so much that it looks wrong now) even if it wasn’t the greatest thing ever. But again, what was I expecting? I watched this whole thing as a joke and ended up attached to the characters like a fool... That tends to be a trend here, and this is why we are so salty all the time. So anyway, stay tuned for our review of the characters! We may not cover all of them since some of them don’t really get anything, but we’ll cover what we found interesting.

[bitegore]

1, 7, 44, 50 for rex (and any other ocs you wanna do)?

:3

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything? 

Rex’s full name is Rezkierelayxl, because when I was coming up with the closerverse dragon culture i was really vibing with the idea that the names are like. theirs, picked out by them, and they keep their real names hidden except with maybe like a close friend or significant other. Rex is honestly a nonsense word for him*. Someone else picked it out and he was just like “yeah ok i didnt like my old name very much” Of course in the metatextual version his name is rex because i had a dream where the entire closerverse story happened and that was just. his name. Didn’t really pick it out from anything other than the aether.

bc i feel like it, i’m also adding Taz, whose full name is. shit. idk. who even cares its just long and basically alphabet soup with a whole bunch of unrelated syllables in there, and his name is “Tazryx” which roughly translates to “Freedom” in my dragon language conlang. this is ironic. for reasons. his name also fell out of the aether, but like with meaning intact.

7. Did they have lots of friends as a child? Did they keep any of their childhood friends into adulthood?

Rex? HAHAHAHAHAHA NO. He had like a few friends as a child but they got murdered and then he was like [angst and brooding] and then he made new friends but they were frankly awful people and he killed like two of them and was like [angst and brooding x5] and now he just has like. no friends. a few acquaintances, his ten billion cousins and assorted relatives, and like 2 immortal demigods who are bound to keep him alive that he’s like sort of friends with but not really

Taz? Yeah. But like half of them are dead now and he’s veeeeery smad about it. he channels that and constructs a city. it is very cool and like half the plot of the book

44. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most?

For Rex, it’s highly dependent on location; he prefers spring in foresty areas and summer in desert types. He likes being human in thunderstorms and being a dragon in dry heat. He’s not really great in either extreme in his human form, but he’s really bad with cold in his dragon form, and he complains LOUDLY AND OFTEN about snow. It is his opinion that snow is the worst thing that the sky could ever drop on them. (He’s probably been hit by a meteorite for saying that and still adamantly thinks that snow is worse.)**

Taz hates winter. He doesn’t really care much for any season (summer is too hot, spring is too rainy, fall is too chilly) but he like reaaaaally doesn’t like winter. His favorite ‘season’ is like 1 week in the middle of late spring. He’s awful in both the cold and the heat and whines long and hard about both. He mostly complains about inclement weather, though; if it’s sunny he’ll suck it up and be like “yeah ok this is kinda nice actually” eventually

50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials?

oh this one is actually canon-relevant, thank you! according to him, rex’s essential travel bag contains:

at least two knives, one for hurting people and one for skinning animals

between five hundred and a thousand dollars cash in local money***

some sort of tradeable good in case he doesnt have the right local money. this is typically just another knife or two

a small bottle of something to drink for the trip because he doesn’t want to buy alcohol in places he doesnt know

two changes of clothes

condoms

and apparently sometimes he’ll also bring letters from people but he pretty much doesn’t have stuff that he’d take with him while traveling. even if he had to literally uproot his whole life the only difference would be the quantity of knives coming with him (upwards of like 200. hobbyist knifemaker in a blacksmithing clan = collecting lots and lots of knives and he only sells them sometimes). he also has like... a coat with many pockets full of knicknacks that he keeps on him at all times but those are like it.

Taz would bring like. clothing, food, water, and a whole bunch of knicknacks like. books and toys and shit. and then discover that he didnt have any of the things he needed and call someone in the middle of the night like “heeeeeyyyyyy i forgot to bring ANY money and i need to buy a TOOTHBRUSH, pls come take me home :(” and his poor siblings would have to mobilize to go rescue his stupid ass.

He’d call like, probably clothing and whatever hobby he’s on at the moment his essentials but he’d be wrong. his actual essentials are not his two-week hyperfixations, he is just [jazzhands] undiagnosed untreated adhd and based heavily off my untreated shortsighted self

--

*closerverse is like a thousand odd years after the apocalypse and rex is like uneducated. he doesn’t know latin. the people who picked his name did and they find it incredibly ironic for reasons he doesn’t know but would laugh at if he did know

**The gods of his world canonically do not like him very much and they would absolutely be like “hey now. snow is nice. fuck you. see how you like THIS” and then, because Rex never ever, ever, EVER does what they want, is just like “...that sucked. OH GOD IS IT FUCKING SNOWING, can’t i EVER catch a break!” and then brin and deva are just like [facepalm] and the entirety of the abyss curses his name and the bets they’ve placed on him again

***there are no banks in the closerverse. there are like fifty different systems of currency in the continental america alone at different exchange rates, many don’t consider other currencies valid, there is almost no standard, and its just a nightmare to deal with having the wrong currency.

[insporaelynn]

📲 raelynn && roman

WHEN: january 24-26th 

DESCRIPTION: just best friends talking and being obsessed with each other. rae confides in him about her ex drama.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: drug mention, probably sex mention.

@romanbeckett​

Roman

Hi love of my life. I miss your face. How’s it going??

raelynn

my baby

god, i miss you too. i'm doing okay, how're you tonight?

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

it’s been an off day, not even gonna lie lol super sore and tired. I just wanna be back to normal already

raelynn

oh no

how's your scar healing up? the boys are taking care of you right??

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

it’s okay I guess bleh lol and not tonight. I’m all alone

raelynn

Where's Q? Is Aaron working?

Well I guess I should know that since I'm literally at work. Lmao.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

Q is working on music. Aaron has des tonight

raelynn

ugh. i wanna lay with you and kiss ur face.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

are you busyyy? I can burn us some cookies

raelynn

i'm working but I'd love to see you after if you're still up.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

of yeah you just said you’re at work lmao fucking weed

yes please come by when you’re done

raelynn

LMAO I KNOW THE FEELING

absolutely, i'm yours.

u know niamh was trying to figure out who rue's date was and she was like "is it you" bc i mentioned that I have a dick appt with him tomorrow night.

and i was like. dude, no, for like, a thousand reasons. like, why would that ever be me???

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚n.

oh god, I’m so out of the loop with gossip lately, it’s sad. I didn’t even know he had a date lol

raelynn

it's apparently some big secret but he's having people help him dress up and asking about flowers and candy and niamh is like "bitch is it you" and i'm like. LMAO.

like is there anything about me that says flowers and candy

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

Hahahahahhahahahahaha HAHAHA

that really made me laugh too hard.

raelynn

like, i'm not the flowers girl, i'm the sneak out in the night girl, the middle of the afternoon girl, all those things, but flowers girl???? sdkfdskksd

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

I’m 100p a flowers girl

raelynn

YOU ARE AND YOU'RE WORTH IT MY BABY

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

my parents are coming in to town this week. Gotta tell them I have two boyfriends haaaa. Pray for me

raelynn.

I feel like that should be the least shocking thing about you??? In a good way.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

yeah, I definitely keep them on their toes

raelynn

tell ur boyfriend that if he wants me to continue wearing body glitter he's going to have to pay me extra

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

omg but I love body glitter fyi

raelynn

I did an onlyfans video with Lilah earlier and I'm like 80% sure that I left glitter on her sheets. Like I'm a fucking unicorn.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

that makes me so happy I can’t even lie

I too wanna leave glitter everywhere

man I need to do only fans

raelynn

i would a thousand percent subscribe

both bc i'm a perv and also bc i'm a very supportive best friend.

we could get naked and do a body glitter photoshoot

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

and I love this about you

that sounds like a dream?? Wow

raelynn

would love nothing more than to apply body glitter to ur glorious tiddies.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

my tillies would appreciate it

Hahahaa it hurts to laughhhh

raelynn

SORRY SORRY I'M GOING TO BE VERY SERIOUS NOW

clears throat Um. The National Debt.

it is my understanding that there is. National Debt.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

hahahah I love you

raelynn

Blah blah, topics. Blah blah, smart people jargon, blah blah

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

god it’s so boring isn’t it

would so much rather talk about titties

raelynn

God same.

Like how yours are somehow bigger than mine.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I know, I need some sort of support at this point I think

raelynn

we could get you fitted for bras somewhere maybe that'd be fun

it'd look actually so hot

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

well I already wear lingerie in the bedroom. Might as well.

raelynn

you will be the absolute death of me, you're simply too gorgeous and too sweet to exist.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

stahhpppp you’re making me blushhhh. Right back atcha my babe

raelynn

is there anything you want me to bring you when i'm done here?

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

just yourself. I’ve got good ass weed

raelynn

and for the millionth time, i realized, you are my soul mate.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

you’re mine, lovie.

raelynn

i wish i could've had appendix surgery instead of you

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

noooo don’t be silly lol I’m okay darling.

raelynn.

no i hate that you were in pain even for like a second i hate it so much!!

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

stop it, I love you. You cutie. Oh god okay I’m gonna make us cookies.

raelynn

Dont burn the house down my beautiful twin flame

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I always get cookie dough thinking I’ll do better next time. I still have that unearned confidence

raelynn.

Thats bc im always building you up and rightfully so

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

yes you do and I live for it. I also really love fresh cookies right out of the oven, I just want to make that happen

raelynn

I believe in you my little tropical starfish

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

raelynn

literally you

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

hehehehe ⭐️

raelynn

i don't think anybody's ever gonna love me more than you

and i think. i think maybe that's okay?

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

that’s not true. You’re gonna find someone who is gonna blow you away

raelynn

yeah but even if i did, would I even be able to love them without being scared of them?

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

yeah, I think so. I’ve had to overcome a lot of walls and fears myself that I never thought I could. The right person makes it easier.

raelynn

idk there are a lot of people i could've loved if i hadn't been so....this lmao

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I think it’ll just take some time!

raelynn

you have so much faith in me.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

of course I do. I think you can do anything.

raelynn

i'm not really sure.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

you don’t have to be cause I ammmmm

raelynn

and you're the smartest person in the world

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

in the whole world?? Damn. I’m not near as rich as I should be then.

raelynn

how about I stay over with you tonight and we get some breakfast in the morning? I did really good on tips tonight.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

okay!! I’d love that

raelynn

good 'cause i don't get to spend nearly as much time with you as i wanna

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I knowwww. We haven’t had a sleepover in so long

raelynn

you can cuddle up to me and i'll feed you cookies and kiss your hair

revolutionary. better than therapy.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

Yes!!!!

raelynn

loml

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I finished the cookies baby and I didn’t burn them to a crisp

raelynn

you fucking legend

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I’m pretty damn proud of myself not gonna lieeeee

[...]

raelynn

extremely sad that i couldn't stay at breakfast with you all day

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

same

now I’m bored

raelynn

i swear after i left you my day went down the tubes.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

oh no I’m sorry

who do I need to fight

raelynn

well carson is back.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

oh god, tell me more

raelynn

idk why he's back but wes gave him my number bc i guess when i told him to lose it he took it to heart which like good i wanted him to

but anyway i screamed at him in the chat

everyone called me a hypocrite bc i told ivy to stop being a bitch in the chat awhile back. which tbh i didn't remember even doing, i just be saying shit.

like alex opened his fuckin mouth and i'm like what dog do you have in this fight

oh and DELILAH is moving in with carson bc he's "like her brother!!!" never mind the fact that he cheated on me bc i guess friendship doesn't mean much anymore

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

wow that’s...messy. Wtf lilah though seriously

raelynn.

So then Carson texts me bc wes gave him my number and that felt like being??? Pushed back in time against my will

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

that’s not cool

raelynn

So yeah a lot of crying today

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

*chick with knife emoji*

me rn

raelynn

Cute but lethal

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

*img attachment* 

and not at all high...

raelynn.

you're so hot jesus christ.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

I love you.

raelynn.

love u more than life itself

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

*img attachment of a keychain that says PUSSY WAGON* 

this was recommended to me on Instagram and now I want it.

raelynn

LET'S GET THEM MATCHING.

EVEN THOUGH I DON'T HAVE A CAR

AND THEREFORE NO KEYS FOR SAID CAR

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

it would be perfect for my Volkswagen

raelynn.

omg and with me in it...it really WOULD be a pussy wagon......

big brain

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

hahahahah

raelynn

we should road trip soon

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I would love that so much honestly

raelynn

where should we go?

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

Disney world!!

raelynn

will u propose to me there

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

wouldn’t that be romantic as heck

raelynn.

THE most romantic and also we'd maybe get free dessert

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I never turn down anything free.

raelynn

me neither. not the taylor family way

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

hahaha I love you.

raelynn.

we'll start planning a summer trip, just us.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

yay yay yay yay!

raelynn.

i'm gonna wear a tiara the whole time.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.BOT01/25/2021

with Mickey ears?

raelynn.BOT01/25/2021

of course, i'm not a monster.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

hahahaa

[...]

raelynn

I hate dudes.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

they’re a mess aren’t they lol

raelynn

Had a temporary lapse in sanity and agreed to meet Carson for coffee lol and he canceled like 15 mins before we were supposed to meet for a probably fake meeting lmao its so typical but I fell for it

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

babe I’m so sorry

raelynn

Like im just so tired

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

how can I make it better

raelynn.

I don't know honestly and I wish I did.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

I love you.

raelynn

I love you.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

you’re my baby

raelynn

you're MY baby

[kuronekonerochan]

Cdramas I enjoyed and ranty rambles... (spoilers)

Apparently I have a new favorite cdrama ML type, and it's genius mastermind bastard on a scheming backstabbing world that is likely created by the same novel or scriptwriter. Ning Que (Ever Night), Fang Xian (Joy of Life) and Zhong Xin (Young Blood) are a joy to watch and I loved these dramas on the same "spirit" and their characters. 

All these dramas had stronger and weaker points, if I could pick and choose, I liked the world and ruthlessness of NQ from EN S1, the OTP that is NQ and SS and the Us against the World vibe, plus the incredible soundtrack and the breathtaking panoramic shots, but S2 was such a production mess...it’s a pity bc I loved the theological turn of the novel and it doesn’t seem likely that after that trainwreck of s2 we’ll get a s3 to end the story (although yes, I admit it would always be difficult to translate to screen from where s1 ends in the book onward bc it’s such a drastic change).  Having read the novel, it was funny to see people reacting to the events of s2. 

The shift in the focus of the drama from the traditional wuxia, young martial arts lead and his wifey traveling the world, encountering new allies and foes and getting powered up, to religious and spiritual journey about the meaning of life, god, the world and different ideologies clashing in both literal fights and discussions as well as physical manifestations of divinity, mixed in with human subversion of values for petty personal goals...well although people seem understandably confused and not very happy about this 180º thematic turn, it’s not what they hated about the new season. From the comments I saw, what most ppl couldn’t stand were the same things ppl who read and liked the novel also hated: the horrible pacing, some of the cast changes that failed to convey the feeling that they were the same characters, and even though the budget was evidently lower than s1, the choices made where 80% of the scenes were pointless carriage shots, meeting shots, and most pointless of all Long Qing riding horses. Endless set ups of people talking boringly and then when the event that all that talk was leading up to happened, it was off screen and the result was told by some character in a conversation. You couldn’t care less about Tang and the war because all the characters that lived there and could die, like SS’s friends from the brothel, the gang, and even the generic ppl on the streets, none of this was shown...only 2 or 3 ppl talking alone somewhere at a time, talking about events that the viewer would never see. And it was confusing. I read the novel and even so I could barely follow what was happening (they did change a bunch of stuff). Enemies from 2 episodes ago were now allies and they were asking favors without any explanation and key plot points of main story arcs like Ye Hong Yu’s were just thrown out so casually it didn’t even register for me that THAT was happening.  The whole Haitian part was also a mess. It was one of those concepts that is indeed hard to translate to screen, but as they did the whole SangSang being present but powerless thing well, the casting of Haitian was a fail. She was supposed to be an uncaring, poker faced goddess, but she also had to have a presence that made her feel powerful and frightening. This lifeless doll couldn't scare a fly, so the whole thing just felt pathetic and weird(er). (Also in the novel there’s this intense mental fight thing going on between her and NQ where she hardcore tortures him and slashes his d*ck off and he in turn keeps torturing her with erotic dreams and all this bc the natal bond means they can read each others minds and can’t keep each other out even if they wanted so it’s a constant exhausting mindgame between them. The drama tried to include some of that in like 2 eps near the end, but toning it down bc of rating and taking the mindreading concept out of it made it very disappointing to watch).

I love the witty sarcastic humor of Joy of Life, I’m not into tragic period cdramas but after so much cheesy lazy slapstick  wuxia/xanxia dramas, one with the intelligent, non-stop sarcastic humorous dialogue and an ensemble of god damn talented actors, especially the older cast, headed by an absolutely brilliant performance by the main lead and a script and plot that is compelling, fast paced and never misses a beat...well this is a true gem and one of the best executed cdramas, on every aspect from technical aspects to directing to acting, that I have ever seen. I usually don’t like palace dramas, and this is not one of those, it is adventure and family and transmigration and a lot more, but it retains the core elements of those palace dramas, which is the scheming politics, the intrigue and the constant tension of being surrounded by enemies by all sides and having to mind every word and action because a single faux pas will get him killed. It’s in line with the kind of cnovels I love and would like to see drama adaptations for like Husband Be a Gentleman or Golden Stage, which isn’t much of a surprise since this is also a novel adaptation.

 It is nearly perfect imo, but the harem aspect (even if tuned down from the novel) still drags it down and the (main) FL is a bore and honestly the least interesting of all the females in the drama (it doesn’t help that ZRY has better chemistry with one of the other actresses, which in the novel, since his character hits ALL of them, it would be fine, here, meh). This is also one of the rare situations where I like the drama better than the book (even with the issues regarding the lack of chemistry with the FL), bc Fang Xian in the novel is scarily ruthless...it’s the same author as Nightfall (aka Ever Night), but NQ is likable because of his bond to SangSang, the irrationality of the persecution they face from the zealots,  and also the world, despite being harsh, features loyalty and unconditional love in the members of the Academy, for example, that make all the anti-hero/antagonist traits more bearable. FX in Joy of Life it’s a much more cynical and cunning character, scary even, and the environment is a pit of backstabbing snakes. He is the hero bc he’s the main character, but from any other perspective he can easily be the villain. Add to that my distaste of harem and him getting it on with like 6 or so ladies (to give them credit some of them are pretty awesome characters), the novel just wasn’t for me. But ZRY as FX? He’s just so cheeky and likable, and this drama has an amazing supporting cast. I enjoy watching them all interact with each other.  I’m glad it’s getting a season 2 and so looking forward to it.

Young Blood I didn't even like that much in the beginning, it started out interesting but confusing and some of the cast (both acting and characters) were kind of weak, but it got better and it had a power couple as leads who were both smart and a joy to watch, plus the bromance dynamic between the smartass bastard and the righteous straight-faced dudes that Handsome Siblings wishes it had (that’s a whole other story, why HS didn’t work for me, but trust me, no offense to the actors in that, I found them charming in other things, but perhaps bc this script was just better, the boys here just did it better, it just flowed...I watched both dramas at the same time and it was weird thinking that those two should be what Handsome Siblings was trying to do). What annoyed me until the end was that out of the ensemble cast, only 3 of the characters (the smart ones) were given enough material to shine. Eventually the other 2 guys got their piece as well, but the girl from the second couple is unfortunately a waste of a character. They eventually tried to give her an arc, but she’s still mainly “the cute doll” and a foil for the 2nd male lead to have a romantic interest. She is given less screen time and she has no presence. I didn’t need her to be a “strong” woman. They do state that her strong suit is that she is so charming that ppl easily trust her, but I wanted to see her evolve, become smarter (the other two dumb-asses eventually get better from the beginning and grow as characters, but she seems stuck in her shallow one trait personality of “cute/kind”). This has nothing to do with the actress, she was perfectly fine, my issues are with the character and how she was utilized.

Unrelated, there is a weird thing in the last episode where a character just disappears, but not like, on purpose, it seems like the drama just forgot about him, or they forgot to shoot the actor near the other ones where he was supposed to be, lol.

Honestly, story wise and even in terms of production Young Blood is inferior to Ever night S1 and especially Joy of life, which was a tight drama, but since it ended up so much better than it started I really wanted to see what they could do with a 2nd season.

P.S: You know what is also my cdrama type? Genius himbo chaotic mess cutie pies, with “rage issue” but deep down caring relatives... and their “straight” faced besotted partners, I mean...

[bagof2780teeth]

The Story of My Crush and I

Yes, this is gonna be a very useless lesbian story about me and my crush.

No, I'm not exaggerating with uselessness. I really am that useless and that much of a clueless bottom.

So hold on tight and follow this rollercoaster of emotions (I might promise too much, but idc, just read it)

Oh, and also, I can and will advertise this as butch x femme bc she's like,,, the butch girl of your dreams and I am the emo femme.

We met because of a mutual friend (let's call her A). So A and I were online friends but luckily we only live like 1h by car or 2 by train apart so she invited me to her birthdays where I met her friends and also my crush. I think we knew right from the beginning that everyone (except for A) is gay. Same interests in music, tv shows, whatever, I get along with A's friends very well. Which is great. Obviously.

I don't know at what point I started crushing. But I knew that on the second birthday party of A I was invited to we were playing truth or dare and I got to choose who I want to kiss. I wanted to say my crush but I was too awkward so I got to kiss A herself and another of her friends. But not my crush. Later that year (it must have been the same year) A, my crush and I went to the cinema together to watch Love, Simon, it was summer. I lowkey hoped for some kind of arm/hand touching action, you know? But yeah, nothing happened, but crush and I always looked at each other when you could see some reference to panic at the disco (brendon urie our lord and saviour). That's that. About 1.5 years ago now.

I possibly had some kind of "relationship" of two weeks with a boy, I regret it. I never wanted my crush to know, bc I still wanted to have a chance. Yeaaaah, let's just not talk about it.

About one year ago, A set crush and me up on a "date" (apparently we both were complaining that we wanted a girlfriend.). I think it was around that time when I told A that I actually have a crush on my crush.

So we went to a Christmas market, we were just walking around, at some point we got chips and she was like "I'll pay" and I died a little. Yeah, that's the most "intense" it got, no holding hands or anything. Pretty disappointing, right?

I think the next time we met was my Birthday party. She and A stayed over night because of the distance so it's just less stressful. I actually was invited to her birthday party as well but my (not anymore) best friend decided to have hers on the same day so I thought since I was closer with my best friend, her party was the right decision.

Crush is literally one day younger than me, btw.

So since A's birthday is also in the same month (march, my people, it's insane) A's party was the next time we met. And again all of the other friends I already knew. At some point crush taught me some kind of dance figure (discofox) so our hands touched, wow so intense, she has very soft hands.

At some point, again, truth or dare, but it was just crush, me and one of the friends (the one I got to kiss a year prior). I had to say whom I wanted to kiss if I had to and I was like "ehhh, I don't mind, really", but obviously, I was just too insecure to say my crush's name.

A and my crush both came to see my school's musical (obviously I was in it). When they talked to me afterwards A hugged me in a way that felt like she was trying to lift me up. Since she's smaller than me I was like "are you trying to lift me up?", said it in an ironic way. My crush then said let me try and yes. She did.

A also mentioned that my crush first thought about getting flowers for me but since they had to drive for a while she didn't and I,,, did crush really think about that???

Time went by.

Crush and I only communicate via snapchat.

When I was on holiday she texted me something like "we should meet again when you're back, I miss you" and I, slight gay panic, responded probably "same" and something saying that we should meet!

And we did. We met a couple of times so I'm not really sure what happened when and first or whatever. But I think it was the first meeting (or date???) When we went to a nice roof top bar (it was summer. Summer of 2019) and again, she said she'd pay. So we sat there for a while, talking about... anything, gay things.. casually.

Later we got food (pizza. Pineapple pizza, we both love it and if that's not a sign....) and after being too awkward to ask for the bill we somehow managed to get it and the waitress placed it in the middle of the table. Why am I mentioning that?

So. Before that happened my crush said that with same sex couples it's a "thing" that whoever gets handed the bill is the top. At least in the eyes of the person handing you the bill.

Let's just say that I really have no top energy and the waitress only put it in the middle bc I already had my wallet out.

Btw. I paid. I said we'd pay together and that I'd pay. Most top energy I've ever had in my life.

Later on we were just sitting at the riverside, talking. Eventually it started to rain and we ran somewhere to not get that wet. Yeah. Funny. It really was funny.

About a week later (I got a cold bc we sat in the rain. wow), when we were snapping, she mentioned that she finally found some friends to go swimming in a lake with (it was a really warm summer week) and I was like "oh, lucky you, I don't have anyone to do that". Guess what she did? She invited me to come as well. A and some of the other friends I know were coming, so that was fine for me. Of course my dumb ass lesbian self said yes and the next day I spent two hours on a train to get there.

That was a Wednesday. On Thursday I'd have my very last oral exam in school (graduating is fun n stuff). Why's that important? Well, I made some more poor decisions that day.

When we were like.. done with swimming the plan was to drive to my crush's place to have some kind of bbq. A and I wanted to go to A's place first to shower. On the way we figured out it would be more convenient for me to head directly home because of my exam the next day and how the trains run. I texted my crush what was going on and she was like "you could sleep over at my place and go home tomorrow morning" (my exam was around 2 or so). Of course I said yes. She then asked me if I wanted to drink something specific (there is this certain brand of sparkling wine she knows i love and got it for me).

So we then spend the evening sitting in my crush's garden. I had the whole bottle of sparkling wine for myself since I was the only one liking it/not having to drive. My crush had beer, so that's fine. After all the other friends left we we're just sitting alone, outside, in the warm summer night, talking, sitting in silence (not that awkward kind). At some point she suggested to star gaze when it got dark enough. So guess what? We were lying in the grass next to each other, looking at the night sky and making up names for random star constellations. When it got cold she got us some of her jackets.

Eventually I was slightly drunk since I didn't eat much and drank the whole bottle and I maybe ended up asking her how obvious me having the crush was. Well. Let's just say that my subtweets aren't as sub as I am.

Yeah, so that was the last thing we talked about before sleeping (ofc i had to borrow some of her clothes). Awkward? Maybe. But not really, since nothing changed between us. She knew.

I think the next time we met was when we went to get new piercings together. Chaotic energy, very spontaneously. It was fun, I don't regret anything. I can't remember anything worth mentioning that happened.

So since I graduated this year my live obviously needs to go on. I'm doing a gap year, as an aupair. So I did some kind of "good bye party" with my closest friends before I left.

My crush was invited as well. So, first, she brought me a bottle of my favourite sparkling wine. Then, (I was really stressed) she told me to breath, calm down, or sit down and if I remembered it right she did make gestures that I should sit on her lap? Anyways, I didn't, I had to do something else.

At some point that day we were all sitting on the sofa, me next to my crush. She said something like "my arm hurts" and placed it around my shoulders and then said "oh look how smooth that was". Yeah, I died.

She helped me doing the dishes at like 3am and we talked about random things.. maybe some more "private" things.

A few days later she explained to me how she felt (Text. Not in person, do we look like we aren't socially awkward?). She told me that she really wanted to give me a clear answer but she really can't say if she has romantic feelings for me or not. Like she can't say yes but she also can't say no.

Unrelated to that thing I texted her and asked if I had a chance (I was prepared to get a clear no, so I could stop crushing, you know) but she told me that I do have a chance. Why are lesbians so bad in those things.

Yeah, then, I went abroad. We still snapped pics to each other. She told me (multiple times?) she'd come and visit me if she had enough money.

She on day told me that she had been to a nice veggie restaurant and said that we should go there one day (I'm vegetarian).

When I was sure that I'd come home for christmas I told her and we planned to meet. The idea was there but to actual plan what we wanted to do.

In the meantime we started to do almost daily "good night" snaps and suddenly she started to include a heart in her good night message to me. Eventually I did so too and now we almost every day send each other a picture saying goodnight with a drawn heart on it. You wouldn't do that if you knew the other person has a crush on you and you wouldn't want them to have this crush, would you?

And also she really isn't a person to use much emoticons, certainly not hearts.

So now the plan is that I come over to her place on new years eve (which is tomorrow.)

She said she'd look forward to it and I am literally dying of gay panic and excitement.

Additionally, you know those things on Twitter "@ the xth person, it's your whatever" yeah. People did that with "@ the 6th person is your new years kiss" guess who that person is for me? Literally my crush's Twitter. Eventually I did post it with a "lol" (ironically.) and she responded to it with this smirking emoji. You know which one. 😏. That one.

Yeah, that's pretty much the story. I am a gay mess. If she finds this, I'm dead. Well. Anyways, I'll have another 6-8months abroad when I go back so what could go wrong. Haha. Ha.

I'm way too lazy to check for typos and I might have not included every single detail, but you get the broad idea.

Thank you for your attention, I'm out (what a pun).

TL;DR: lesbians being the useless lesbian cliche, I still don't know if i had a chance

[moondriftingold]

some kh3 Hot Takes, saïx/isa edition!

i will admit that i don’t hate the subject x thing as much as i did yesterday, but i still like... hate it. it’s just, like. unnecessary to isa and lea’s journey and their story, in my opinion? i won’t be completely casting it out of my canon, because the idea that isa and lea came across something so disturbing and horrid (in this case, a live, human prisoner) that it would motivate them to continue their search into the castle beyond just curiosity is something i’ve had in mind for a very long time and has been part of my portrayal for years, and this can fit that category. but, this mysterious girl being the motivation for isa and lea to become apprentices? for it to be the sole/largest factor in isa becoming saïx? for saïx/isa to have apparently been so obsessed and concerned for this “friend” that he only mention her now, at the end of this journey, and in his dying speech of all things? absolutely fucking not. as per my canon, that isn’t a thing. he absolutely still cares for this girl and wished to help her, and i can buy them becoming guards to give them time at the castle without suspicion to try and free her, but at the end of the day, x was not saïx’s sole fucking motivation for everything he did.

i am really, really fond of isa’s ending. i was spoiled for it basically the second week of the game’s release (thnx guys), but i didn’t know the entire circumstances over how he was saved. and i am. just. God. Fuck Me Up Fam i am So Happy. roxas and xion finally seeing saïx be vulnerable kicked my entire ass dude!!! all they’ve seen of him so far is this horrible beast of a man that doesn’t reflect isa at all, so it was really nice for them to get to see him in a weaker, quiet moment where he was more... who he was meant to be. i was also spoiled for the end clocktower scene a week or so ago, which really fucking sucked, but watching it play out was such an experience. i think i screamed? i think i screamed. i really truly adore that isa has been accepted into the sea salt trio because that’s some shit i’ve been dreaming about for ages, but it did feel rushed. as much as i want isa to be an important and positive figure in their lives from here on out, it’s also highly unrealistic for them to just accept him back into their lives the way he is, after all that saïx had done to them. it’s true that saïx ≠ isa, but isa also isn’t exempt from the consequences that saïx’s actions leave him with. i do think that for them to get to the level that was shown, deep connections need to be made. they really need to talk about what happened between them and move past it in a healthy manner, or unsettled, toxic feelings will still remain buried underneath. my isa will likely still be wary around roxas and xion, feeling a guilt and frustration around them that he hates and feels terrible for, and also hates that he even feels terrible for. from his perspective, whatever he did, he did to survive, and he shouldn’t have to apologize for taking actions that he had virtually no choice in taking if he wanted to simply live --- but the fact of the matter is that he did have a choice in many of the things he did to roxas and xion. and that, he knows he must atone for.

i really love the big implication that saïx was the one who formulated a plan with vexen to use the replica bodies against the organization??!??! I LOVE IT DUDE IVE BEEN LIVING FOR AN ANTI-ORG SAÏX REVOLT FOR FOREVER?? it isn’t the most ic thing he could’ve done, and also isn’t confirmed canonly (ive seen some people predicting ansem sod as well? which is equally as dope imo), but i do adore the idea of saïx silently sticking it to the org. me vc are ya winning son

isa playing frisbee with lea and ven in the epilogue made me cry. like. he looked so happy. he was so carefree. he was finally having fun and around people that aren’t fucking terrible, and he’s the closest thing to being at peace for the first time in over a decade. i love him so much. i lov ehim. os mcu h. oh mh.y . god. tTATTOO THAT SCENE ON MY FACE

i h8 the fanon implication that isa now lives in twilight town with the sea salt trio bc ive always wanted him to go home to radiant garden and make peace with his time there, but him also choosing to make a sacrifice in his life to show his loyalty and love for lea is something that i absolutely do not hate, so. his whereabouts post-kh3 r up in the air ig? i want him to have a sweet little cottage in radiant garden but moving to twilight town and living in a lofty studio apartment to be closer to lea/xion/roxas is also sweet even though he probably wouldn’t enjoy it much there. i. sigh

on another note like... i really think isa wants to see more of the worlds? he didn’t really travel around much as saïx, as he was most often needed at the castle to attend to briefings and missions and meetings, and whenever he left the castle on his own, he knew he was being watched (important vessel! recusant’s sigil! yikes!), so he couldn’t really enjoy it. as much as he needs to settle somewhere and anchor himself to a place he can finally call home, he wants to have adventures of his own, too.

i am... disappointed in the lack of overall backstory to him, though. ya i understand he’s not main cast and that there was a LOT going on in this game, but we still don’t know what the early years of the org were like? how baby akusai formed their plan? no further details on how active saïx was in the org and how determined he was to get moving on things (lea saying “i couldn’t keep up with you!” in their first clocktower scene)? nothing on when saïx was chosen as a vessel, when his eyes first turned gold? when he got that giant X-SCAR ON HIS FACE? NOTHING?? THANKS NOMURA AT LEAST I CAN WRITE MY OWN CANON

if yall want me to talk about isalea im gonna have to make a whole ass separate post for them bc this post is already so long and i am already full of tears please have mercy i will cry specifically about them later at an unknown date. but i can, for now, absolutely, say they are boyfriends. bye

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

2011-2014 australian tumblr throwback post:

- KISS ME KATUT! RHONDA AND KATUT BEING THE MOST FOLLOWED AD COUPLE FOR FUCKING CAR INSURANCE. YOU’RE HOT! LIKE A SUNRISE! RHONDA!!!!

•*french accent* budget... budget.. *aussie accent* budget love, budget direct insurance!” and people trying to figure out that weird “relationship” between the “french” woman and the “aussie” guy in that ad

•the iconic “dad why did they build the Great Wall of china?” “to keep the rabbits out. because there’s too many rabbits, in China.” for telstra broadband internet.

•gifs of every Chris Lilley character ever.... but mostly jonah takaluah and j’amie king.

• gif compilation posts of every dumb thing that Today show host Karl Stefanovic said or did on live tv. also some videos, like that shark report one and the “big stick thing” conversation where Karl and the newsreader stand in guy Ben Fordham (I think) had to walk off set bc they couldnt stop laughing. also that gifset of Karl chasing seagulls at like the SCG or something and his co-hosts Lisa and Richard (the celeb gossip guy) were like “he’s chasing his dreams down there, isn’t he lisa?” “no richard, he’s just chasing the gulls 🤦🏻‍♀️🙄” (Karl is finally leaving the today show as of 2019.)

•oh, gifs of the today show’s weather man Stevie Jacobs always getting attacked by animals on set. poor guy had to quit (or at least I think he did)

•Steve Irwin gifs- especially the gifset where he’s bitten by a snake and goes on like nothing’s happened.

•dangerous aussie wildlife posts/masterposts

•thewisepickle and haaave-you-met-ted were the premium Australian humour blogs

•also tumblr users pizza and australiansanta

•obvs night blogging being blamed on aussies

• Australian tumblr post collections done in parts

•that south Australia vine with a dude with an akubra (aussie hat) on, dancing drunkenly in front of a huge sign saying “welcome to south Australia”

• Australians ominously adding “HAVE YOU EVER, EVER FELT LIKE THIS? HOW STRANGE THINGS HAPPEN WHILE GOING ROUND THE TWIST?” to random posts

•the whole of tumblr (bar aussies) who were freaked out about our weird kids shows like “round the twist” having an ep where a dude fell in love with a tree (weird enchanted tree episode) and another ep where one of the kids had a fish dick that helped him win swimming carnivals or whatever

•Australian being mortified about no one in the world apparently knowing what fairy bread was/is

•the various political leadership spills we’ve had over the last few years.

•that “if Harry Potter was set in Australia“ post

•those 10,001 different posts having to explain aussie slang. people writing big passages in Australian slang and people being like “are... are you sure that’s in English?????” and there’s a gif from finding nemo with dory and marlon holding each other

•oh yeah: “fish are friends, not food.” and the like catchphrases. possibly memes from “the castle” or posts about being forced to watch it during English or legal studies in years 10 to 12, along with Muriel’s wedding.

•speaking of school, HSC & ATAR memes from kids who did hsc and received atars in the timeframe covered in this post

•the world being mortified that aussies called McDonald’s “Maccas” and the like 40th anniversary ad of maccas being in Australia having to be explained bc no one understood what it meant bc they used words like “ambo”, “Ute” and idk the name “Damo”

•OI CIGGY BUTT BRAIN! and it’s related video

•anons asking aussie blogs what “bogan” meant

•aussie capital city aussies vs other countries pronunciations posts

•that totally notorious and untrue “we’re only here to fuck spiders” post. I’m aussie LITERALLY NO ONE SAYS THAT! THAT WAS A FAKE POST!

•Australian weather posts- like that one day where some places got up to 50 degrees centigrade and some presumably American blogs told us to calm down until they realised that 50C is equivalent to like 128F or whatever. and then the Americans were like “how the FUCK aren’t you burning alive, my dudes?” and the aussies were all like “sheer persistence, mate.”

•that “australians don’t fuck.... they MATE” post

•actually that post about australians being prisoners bc they were convicts or what-the-fuck-ever it was and then a gif of Sheldon from Big Bang theory saying “it’s funny bc it’s true.”

•gifs/screenshots etc of the original Kath&Kim. especially the “baby JESUS kim! NOT BABY CHEESES! 🤦🏻‍♀️” scene. another main one was Sharon going to the freezer for a billabong and kim saying “none left” and Sharon saying “nothing goes right! 😭”

•people screenshotting random australian police department posts bc they’re funny and meme related. then posting them on here. (this still happens)

•idk probably some other weird/clever Australian tv ads are thrown in the mix somewhere aside from Rhonda & katut, the budget direct ad and the Telstra ad mentioned at the start of this post.

•that gifset of Hugh Jackman at a red carpet event where he accidentally stumbles into one of his old PE students who was a cameraman at the event.

•aussies randomly running into either of the famous Hemsworth brothers in Queensland on their off time with family and people being like “do y’all just find the Hemsworth’s out in the wild????”

•speaking of the Hemsworths: that post that reminds everyone that action man Chris “I’m Thor of asgard and the avengers!” hemsworth starred in saddle club, a tween show about the bitchy world of equestrian club girls. 😂 ~HELLO WORLD THIS IS ME!!!~

•aussie men being like the hemsworths or Hugh Jackman or steve irwin... and apparently being super attractive and funny. nope.

•Margot Robbie appreciation after the wolf of Wall Street. cate blanchett getting some mentions, probably. there’s probably some posts floating around about how either of them started on either of the prime-time soapies of the 90s & 2000s: neighbours (I think that’s Margot) or home&away and now they’re bad ass women in Hollywood kickin ass and taking names. I can’t remember though.

•DROP BEARS/KOALAS!!!! HOW THE FUCK COULD I FORGET DROP BEARS/KOALAS!!!!????

•also that audio post that had the sound of kookaburra call and every tumblr user that wasn’t aussie was terrified and the aussie’s were like “ah, just like home. it’s not that bad”

•when tumblr and/or buzzfeed found out about the quokka

•people being surprised that aussie public schools had school uniforms. (probably idk) 🤷🏻‍♀️

okay idk what else... feel free to add more!

[isaacathom]

ok deakin uni are we 100% sure we want this fuckers name on our university like i know we were all racist in the 20s but uhhhhhhhhh like im Just saying

more rambling about prime ministers in the service of wooorldbuillding???? (????) under the cut

WAIT DEAKIN IS ONLY 50- GUYS. WHAT. WHY. THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN KNOWN INFO. WHY DID WE NAME THE UNIVERSITY AFTER HIM. bro. Bro. Bros? Lads? Dudes? My fellas? what the fuck were you doing naming a university in 1974 after a pm who was Big Boy behind white australia my fucking God. what the fuck. Yall? The fuck. Why. ok when i name this fake fucking university in ACitDS (the uni isnt actually located in UWG though) im naming it for a fucking good prime minister. which might be hard but im gonna try my best to find someone whose at least DECENT. like.... my first thought in menzies but god i would hate to go to a school named for him bc the amount of bullshit that would come from pronouncing his name the scottish way would drive me Fucking Insane. Mingies. Im not going to a school named mingers, yall. 

uhh lets find a pm. god seeing scomos face startles me everytime. im just hoping shorten has a nice photo lined up. was watson decent. ‘first socialist or social democratic government’ alright im down for this. he was only leader for 4 months but its a precedent thing. he seems like a cool dude. fisher is also cool. can you tell im picking labor prime ministers yet? one issue - he’s from ql. and watson was from nsw. fuckers. wheres a good vic pm who isnt taken (im think curtin was victorian, dont quote me on that). im not counting hughes, if hes even a vic. nope, new south, dammit. mother fuckers. SCULLIN WAS FROM VICTORIA, ok we’re fucking getting somewhere now. alright. wait what am i doing it Says their electorate in the main p- fuck me ok. ok. alright.

jesus hughes what the Fuck

anyway uhh most of the vic guys are kinda eeehhhh so im down for Scullin i guess. Scullin University, lmao. ALSO

FUCKING DAMMIT CURTIN

but i guess scullin university, then? if we wanna keep it at least vaguely associated. he was a labor guy rather than a... uh......liiiberal? i guess. so theres that. but id rather have it be like.... a good guy. not that it really matters in the scheme of things because the hypothetical Scullin University (located in fucking, i dont know, Norwood Melbourne, eat my ass) isn’t actually like. a real presence for ACitDS? like im considering that there MIGHT be a joiner there (have Thomas really get around, though it all ultimately comes home) but having any part of the game take place as Scullin seems weird bc it implies its during the trimester. and its during the trimester, Thomas really cant justify doing all this Absolute Fucking Nonsense. I believe in the dream it was actually the end of trimester 1, with the game starting basically on their last day. which means they were born in may, since their birthday was riiiight before. that doesnt preclude any of the game taking place at or adjacent to Scullin, because there is the whole month of break b/w tris 1 and 2 and since Thomas is an art student they probably have to go pick up their folios which gives them an excuse t be in the area. but at the same time i dont know where a joiner would be (well, i Do, sort of) and it raises bigger timeframe risks in terms of the time of day. like... thomas has to get home. and trust me mother fuckers, if thomas was in the hole too long that is a fuck of a trip home. the tram runs till late. the uhhhhh 732 runs....  hmm. lemme check hold on homies... ok thomas is fine for getting to like, Knox City (Kent City? whatever) but its getting HOME thats the stickler. god the new ptv site is trash on desktop, i cant see SHIT. maps are nice but i wanna actually like.... see the options im being given. bitch. ok put it this way. if thomas leaves at 8pm, theyre fine. sort of. having to get a tram and 3 buses home isnt ideal by any stretch but its doable. if thomas leaves at 9pm, theyre fucked. you cant get home. theyd basically have to walk the whole fucking way from deakin to vermont south. sorry, Scullion to whatever South. good luck! 

like. good fucking luck thomas. its an hour to walk to the 732 at that time of night so if you miss that tram youre fucked. even if thomas makes it to vermont south, apparently theres basically jack shit between 9pm and 5am soooo good luck.

its not necessarily a huge issue because it could always work on narnia logic. but im not super into the idea of having it be very dilated. plus, idk, maaaybe thomas lives near a train station. i dont think they do. because i know i dont. but yknow. hypothetically. well ok theres a bunch of services between vermont and knox in the Dark Hours but then they have to get home. its like an hour walk. after fighting demons and angels thomas is gonna be fucking knackered. absolutely not walking for an hour to get home. theyd be more likely to crash at a friends place on Res at Scullion. i dont even know if youre allowed to do that. one sec. well, technically, but if its between semesters???? eh. idk. be a Lillllll funky on that front. idk. i do really like the idea of having one of the ‘day’ transitions being thomas half asleep on a bus/tram/train, though. so we could easily just handwave it and say that they live close enough to a station or transport hub that its essentially accessible at awkward hours of the night. plus its like, if the day starts in the morning, it being late evening for that seems fair. well, late evening as in like..... 8pm or smth. since thats a fair enough time to my mind. 12 hours all up, maybe?

idk. i think this baaasically works. Thomas [SUR. NAME] lives in Upper Wattle Gully in the south eastern suburbs, and attends Scullion University in Norwood. anyone who lives out my way know immediately what all of that means. ;)