#but as I always say. begging to be wrong. crossing fingers for the best. and bracing for the worst.

[paarksunghoon]

you plus me | heeseung

SUMMARY: it's been six years since heeseung stopped being your friend and the thought of him tagging along an annual camping tradition makes you feel like the world is crashing around you. one misunderstanding and one trip later makes heeseung re-evaluate all he knows, and it makes you believe there might be life after love.

NOTES: first full length fic!!!!!!! enjoy :) x

PAIRING: heeseung x fem!reader (featuring enhypen)

PLAYLIST: added march 17 - find it here

WORD COUNT: 34.1K

WARNINGS: fluff, angst, mentions of poor relationships with parental figures, mentions of infidelity, bad friendships, smut in the form of: fingering, oral (f. receiving), creampie.

***

“Please don’t make me go.”

“Y/N, you already said yes. We’re only gonna be gone for a week.”

“I don’t think this is a good idea, Jungwon. You just said that Heeseung is gonna be there.” 

Your best friend sighs and sits down on your bed, inspecting the duffle bag you have that’s half-packed. Your clothes are haphazardly strewn all over your bedding while you plead with him to no avail. You’re so desperate that you consider getting on your knees to beg.

“I’m sorry for telling you now, but he was able to get people to cover his shift last minute and paid for a spot on the kayaking rental.” 

“If he’s going, I’d rather save us all the trouble and stay at home.” Jungwon watches you cross your arms over your chest. “Every time we’re in the same room, it’s just a matter of time before things become awkward.” 

“We’ll be outside in the suuuun,” Jungwon says, tilting his head to the side and giving you those amused eyes that he always gives you when he’s trying to convince you to do something with him. You scoff and look away. It almost works. 

“I bet that it’ll be worse since we have a few things planned with the guys already.”

“So what? You two don’t get along. Big deal. We’ve already made reservations to secure a spot on the campsite and set a deposit for kayak rentals.”

“Won, I think you and I view Heeseung very differently. He doesn’t just not like me. He hates me.” 

“Hate is a wrong word.” 

You huff. “I don’t think you grasp just how weird it is every time we’re together. You could cut the tension with a knife.”

“Seriously, Y/N. It’s one week. I’m sure you can survive that. You’ve never missed a camping trip and it’s the first time all of our friends are coming.” Jungwon deadpans and throws a shirt towards your chest, which you hastily grab after being startled by his sudden movement. You know better than to argue with him when he gets like this. “Just help me pack your clothes, dude. Jay’s gonna be here to pick us up tomorrow morning, and you don’t want to be under-packed.” 

You relent and grumble. “Are you still staying over?”

He nods. “My apartment’s in the opposite of where we’re going, and I didn’t want to make him drive an extra twenty minutes since he needs to pick Riki up. Just need to drop Maeumi off at my mom’s before coming back here. ” Your eyes fall for a flat second before you squash that feeling down.

“I didn’t invite you over, you know.” 

“No, but don’t pretend like you’re not excited,” Jungwon says with a laugh as he pulls your clothes out of the bag and starts to readjust the clothing you’ve folded poorly. Seeing your best friend smile tugs a bit at your heartstrings and you can’t say that you aren’t happy to have him with you. “We should get you packed now so you don’t stress out later.” 

Begrudgingly, you allow Jungwon to sort out your clothes for you and pull last minute items you’ve yet to pack. It annoys you watching him be so calm when you’re simmering with worry. But you know he’s right—you’ve invested some money into this getaway, and it’ll be the last big outing before you move away from Korea for a year-long job opportunity in Okayama before pursuing your Master’s degree. Jungwon knows you a little too well, and sometimes it irks you. 

The end-of-summer camping trip is always one for the books. For as long as you can remember, the two of you have been going camping just before everyone goes back to school to celebrate the beginning of a new academic year with your families. But this time, the trip wasn’t just about continuing an annual tradition. It was also to commemorate a new chapter in your life. 

You’re a year older than Jungwon. He’s known you since you were obsessed with learning how to double dutch, and you’ve known him since he first learnt how to ride a bike. The two of you started out as neighbors when you moved into the house next to his, and his family had adopted your own like old friends, eventually inviting you and your parents into their annual camping tradition. Even when dynamics changed and people left, the tradition was the only thing that remained a constant for you.

This is the first summer that your loved ones announced they wouldn’t be coming along. They all thought it was time for you to embark on new traditions with new people, and nobody seemed to mind the change that much except for you. Jungwon had been ecstatic about it since he invited his friend, Jake, to the camping trip last year. You’d been wary at first since Jake is friends with Heeseung, but he never brought up your confusing arch-nemesis and chose to have a great trip before you all started university again.  

Sure, you had a lot of fun. You might even consider last year’s trip as one for the books. But your mom pulling out of the camping trip and everyone around you agreeing that it was for the best made you feel like your world was crumbling around you.

When you graduated university three months ago (Jungwon swears he didn’t cry, but you know better than to believe him), the weight of leaving your home started to sink in. In the blink of an eye, Jungwon wouldn’t be a twenty minute drive, and hanging out with all of your friends wouldn’t be as easy as it once was. You’d be in Japan all alone.

This past summer has been a whirlwind as you tried to do everything under the sun, savoring each moment until you wouldn’t be able to anymore. Jungwon’s been a good sport about it, never once complaining when you drag him to your latest adventure. He deals with your sudden shift in mood from happy to sad, letting you cry on his shoulder and braving the cliche words you say when telling him you’ll miss him a lot. 

Unlike past seasons, this is the first summer you haven’t seen Heeseung very often. Lee Heeseung, who usually keeps his head down and minds his business, always seems to have a bone to pick whenever his eyes settle on you. It confuses you to no end, and he keeps his quips to a minimum when your mutual friends are around, but it doesn’t stop you from wondering what you must’ve done to make him act like that towards you. It’s a shame because that small childhood crush you always had on him was squashed the first time he ignored your presence. 

None of your friends comment on it much. They’re used to the dynamic between the both of you because it's been years of this. Elementary school saw the two of you become friends for the first time and middle school brought more friends into the group. It was in high school that things changed and Heeseung started ignoring you out of nowhere until one Thursday afternoon when he’d told you to leave him alone after pestering him about his change in behavior. 

The odd tension followed you into university and continued to seep into your life. You don’t think you’ve ever been in a room with Heeseung where he’s been anything but nonchalant towards you, often acting like you aren’t there to begin with. You do your best to put up with it and plaster a smile on your face, but six years have gone by, and you don’t think you can handle a seventh. All of your friends seemed to have moved past it. You don’t know why you can’t.

“Don’t think about Heeseung,” Jungwon says with a sigh. “In fact, don’t think at all. Let me handle everything and enjoy this trip before you move to Okayama, okay?”

“Okay, fine. But I want to see Maeumi.”

Jungwon snorts. “She’s gonna be real pissed when she doesn’t see you for a year, you know.”

“Don’t remind me.”

Jungwon knows you like the back of your hand and has seen what you bring on these trips enough to know what you like to have in your duffle. He packs things you neglected to pull out because your mind has been elsewhere. As much as he wants to flick your head and tell you to quit overthinking so you can help him, he did tell you to let him handle everything. 

Your best friend makes you triple check that the two of you didn’t miss anything before heading back to his apartment to fetch Maeumi. She jumps into your arms when you squat to pick her up and won’t allow Jungwon to pet her white fur body while she’s nestled against you. This fondness and the familiar jab of Jungwon’s elbow to your ribcage make your heart ache despite the sweet moment. You’re really going to miss home. 

Ever the concerned mothers your mom and Jungwon’s are, they send you with a tray full of sweets for the road. They make you tell them exactly when you’ll be picked up and by who (“Jongseong, Eomma,” Jungwon says for the umpteenth time) and when you plan to come back. His dad gives you a spare bucket hat for when you’re on the water and an old sweater from his college days when Jungwon complains about how you never pack enough layers. The gesture feels warm since you consider his father to be somewhat of your own.

Leaving them to go back to your house feels a bit bittersweet. A lot of your belongings sit in storage boxes in the garage from when you moved out of your campus apartment upon graduating. Jungwon decided to get an apartment for himself with the money he saved from his part-time job as a busboy at a local chain restaurant. Staying over with you makes it seem silly when you remember he used to live next door. 

It’s nine in the evening when the two of you get ready for bed. Jungwon puts your bags by the front door so neither of you would forget while you finish brushing your teeth. He grabs extra blankets from the linen closet and settles onto your L-shaped couch, pulling the fabric just underneath his chin. Your heart feels like it’s sinking in on itself when you think about how this might be the last time you’re able to be so casual around him. 

“Stop overthinking,” he says in the quiet of the night, as if he can hear the thoughts in your head. The living room lights are off and the moonlight is what’s responsible for illuminating the space. 

You refrain from throwing your pillow at him. “I’m not overthinking. You’re overthinking.” 

Jungwon snorts. “We both know that’s not true. I know you’re scared about Okayama and I know that’s why you’ve been on edge about Heeseung. You’re usually never this loud about it.” Like always, your best friend is right. 

“It’s hard not to.” Your meek voice makes Jungwon’s heart lurch. “Everything’s changed so fast. I feel like I didn’t get enough time to properly say goodbye to everyone.”

“You’ll be in Japan, not America. It’s not like we’ll never see you.” 

“Yeah, but I won’t be able to annoy you for boba and you won’t be coming over to have dinner with my mom and me." Jungwon frowns. Too caught up in making sure you were happy this summer, he hadn’t given it that much thought. “I know I won’t be far, but I’m scared that things will change too much.” 

For the first time today, Jungwon doesn’t know what to say to make you feel better. “I’ll miss you a lot.” 

“I know that, dummy. I guess…I feel like I’ve been dealing with a lifetime of shittiness and the universe wanted to throw another curveball at me.” Jungwon’s heart softens at your confession. He’s used to your quick jabs and sarcastic humor. Knowing you’ve more afraid than excited makes him upset. 

“The universe sucks,” he says, happy that it pulled a laugh out of you. “I’ll always be a phone call away and you’ll never have to worry about me ignoring you because we both know I’m gonna blow up your texts anyway.” 

“I can always count on you to annoy the hell out of me.” You can’t see his face, but no you already assume Jungwon’s sporting a shit-eating grin. Even if you both know the main reason why you’re afraid of living in Okayama, neither of you say it. You’re grateful that Jungwon doesn’t bring it up. “Still, though. You know how I am with change. I’m really scared that I’m going to hate it there and not have you to keep me company.”

“Life is crazy and unpredictable but that doesn’t mean you’re going to be miserable. I mean, you did a pretty good job of making sure both of us had happy childhoods even though I know you were hurting when we were younger.” 

“It’s really hard not to have expectations or think badly about the future when I feel like I took everything for granted.” 

“I know, Bug,” Jungwon says, using a nickname from your childhood he reserves for when he thinks you need an extra bit of comfort. “But you’re the best person I know. You didn’t do anything wrong. Life just…gets in the way.” 

“Yeah, I know.”

Jungwon is quiet for a moment. “Just please promise me you’ll try to have fun, okay?”

“I know I’ll have fun, Wonnie. I’m scared that I’ll have too much fun and be a sobbing wreck when we get back.” 

The two of you share a laugh. “Alright, fair. Promise me you won’t let Heeseung get under your skin.”

You groan. “If he doesn’t like me, that’s fine. I don’t need everyone to like me. But why go out of his way to act like I’m scum of the Earth?”

“Just ignore him, okay?” Jungwon pleads. “I know it’s uncomfortable but he paid for a last minute spot. I’ll tell him to be mature about it too.” 

And, well, part of you believes Heeseung will listen to Jungwon. Despite being on the younger side in your shared friend group, everyone seemed to listen to your best friend most of the time. Jungwon has an authoritative aspect to himself when he’s refrained from being the silly, happy-go-lucky guy you all know him to be. 

It’s quiet for a brief moment with the wind gently tapping on the windows behind you. “I don’t know why he doesn’t like me.” 

Truthfully, neither does Jungwon. “I’m sorry he’s putting you in a tough spot.” 

“Won, sometimes I really wonder if he hates my guts. He doesn’t talk to me and he never replies to my messages in the group chat. It’s like I don’t exist to him.”

“I think that might be a little extreme.” 

“It’s not and you know it.” 

Jungwon hums. “Well, at least you’ll get away from him when you move to Okayama.” Just like that, all of your worries come flooding right back.

“Yeah,” you say meekly. “I’ll have Okayama.”

You don’t see him, but you know Jungwon’s smiling since you agreed with him for the first time tonight. “That’s more like it. You have your whole future ahead of yourself, dude. Heeseung is just a blimp. In three weeks, he won’t matter because you’ll be having fun in Japan. Just think about that.” 

You try not to think about the fears and hesitations you have about starting anew. This time, you wouldn’t be going back to university after the camping trip. You’ll have a week and a half back home before you’re boarding your flight and saying goodbye to the place you’ve called home for the past two decades. Thinking about the future keeps you up until you hear Jungwon’s snores from the other side of the couch. 

Unsure of when your mom will be coming home, you snuggle further into the cushions and curl yourself into a ball before falling asleep. 

***

The next morning, Jungwon wakes up just before you do and you see him and your mom talking before they see you sit up. Barely noticing their hushed tones, you find yourself yawning more than normal and force the blankets off of your body. Your mom fixes you a cup of tea while Jungwon finishes packing, leaving you to freshen up and do the same. 

“You know, this trip will be good for you. I can feel it,” your mom says when you sip on your tea. It’s hot and nearly burns your tongue, but you don’t mind. Somehow, that sharp pain makes you feel even more alert than the strong brew. 

“You say that every year.” 

“Yeah, but this time I won’t be with you.” 

She laughs when she hears you huff. “Baby, I know you love it when I come on these trips but we’ll always have other ones. We’ll have next year too.” 

“I just don’t get why you and Jungwon’s parents don’t want to come on this one.” 

“Like we said all those months ago–it’s time for you guys to break tradition and spend some time with your friends before you move to Okayama. Next year, we can rent out the whole campsite if it means we can accommodate us, the Yangs, and your friends.” 

Frustration bubbles within you but you’re quick to shut that feeling. “I guess. It won’t be the same.”

“Jake’s going this year, right? You guys had a lot of fun last summer.” 

Well, she isn’t wrong. “Sure, yeah. I had fun with him.” Motherly instincts kick in and she bumps your hip with hers. 

“I know you’re scared about moving and seeing Heeseung. But you’re much braver than you give yourself credit for. Sometimes people are meant to be lessons and maybe Heeseung is the biggest one of all.”

You throw a fake-disgusted look at her. “Did Jungwon put you up to this?” She laughs and shakes her head, bringing you into her arms. Her lips on the crown of your head feel warm and you don’t shy away from her embrace. 

“No, but I carried you in my stomach and brought you to term. I like to think I know you pretty well.” 

You chuckle. “Yeah, I guess you do. I’ll try not to let Heeseung bother me too much.” 

“Jungwon’s pretty worried, even if he won’t say it. I told him to relax a little. This trip isn’t supposed to stress anyone out. It’s supposed to be a nice getaway before you go back to your normal life.” 

“I feel guilty for making Jungwon worry about me. I know he’s still friends with Heeseung, somewhat, even though nobody can figure out why he doesn’t like me so much.” 

“That old saying about boys being mean to their crushes is bullshit.” 

You pull away and gasp when you hear her swear. “Eomma!”  

“I used to swear like a sailor before I became a mom, you know.” Her eyes light up when she watches you giggle and from the corner of her eye, she can see Jungwon walking back into the living room. 

“Jay’s almost here,” he says, shoving his phone into his back pocket. 

“Does he want a cup of tea?” 

Jungwon shakes his head. “I think it’s better if we head out as soon as possible. We still have to pick up Riki and then we have a four hour drive to the campsite.” 

She looks at the two of you like she has stars in her eyes. Wordlessly, your mom pulls Jungwon underneath her other arm and kisses his forehead before kissing yours. “When did you two become so grown up, huh? It feels like just yesterday that Y/N stopped crying whenever she got papercuts.” 

Jungwon snickers. “She still does.”

“Hey!”

“And it feels like just yesterday that Jungwon stopped needing to sleep with a nightlight.” Jungwon’s cheeks turn pink and you snicker at him. 

“Time flew by fast,” says Jungwon. She lets the two of you go and the doorbell rings. “That must be Jay.” 

Indeed, Jay is standing behind the door and bows at your mom before she offers to help you both carry things to his car. They make small talk while the two of you put them into the trunk (he loves to cook while she loves to bake. Likewise, they enjoy talking about this with each other). Jay’s Jeep is far too expensive for you to wrap your head around, but you don’t complain when he offers to drive you in it. A yellow rubber duck sits on his dashboard and it never fails to bring a smile to your face whenever you see it. You wave goodbye to your mom and stick your body halfway out the window until you’re restricted by the seat belt.

“Can we get coffee on the way?” you ask, yawning into your palm. It’s eight o’clock and everyone’s agreed to arrive around noon for lunch and to relax before sleeping. 

“Yeah, good idea. Let’s pick up Riki and then stop somewhere.” 

Jay plugs his phone into the aux cord at a red light and turns on some music. You like driving with him because you always discover new songs you obsess over for the next few days. It brings a pang in your heart when you think about how this will have to stop when you move to Japan. The two of you have created many playlist blends and he’s curated a few for you. While you’re not as musically inclined like your friends may be, Jay is the only person who’s willing to break things down for you in depth so that you can understand them too. It’s nice, especially when he talks about his own musical talents. You can see why he loves music so much and you don’t mind if he sends you a million songs to listen to. He turns onto the freeway and you know you’re about to see Riki soon.

He’s about to be a first-year in the university you graduated from. He moved to Korea from Japan a few weeks prior to get a lay of the land and become more comfortable in his surroundings. Originally planning on enjoying your summer until he reached out to you, your mother chided your decision and told you to help Riki move into his new dormitory. 

It was the least you could do for your half-brother. 

Begrudgingly, you spent a lot of time making sure Riki felt comfortable and settled in when you could’ve been soaking up the sun. Maybe that’s why you were so adamant about hanging out with Jungwon whenever you could. Being around Riki made you feel drained because his mere presence was enough to remind you of why you started losing faith in people. 

The dorms aren’t too far from your house. The drive there is silent, save for the music coming from Jay’s stereo. It gives you plenty of time to think about what the next week or so might look like. Avoiding Heeseung is out of the question since there will be eight of you participating in the same activities together. You’re not worried about having to watch over Riki too much either. Before moving to Korea, he met Jungwon the first summer he spent a few weeks vacationing here and they instantly became friends. He introduced Riki to the people you’d be camping with too. Without fail, the seven of them were always up to no good when he was in town. 

Spending three weeks with him in your neighborhood felt like someone was trying to set your life ablaze. He was so young back then, barely speaking Korean until you had to translate conversations into Japanese for him. You tried to mask disdain for having to help him, but even then, Riki understood why you were hesitant to have him in your life. If he were in your position, he’d probably feel the same way about you. 

He didn’t come to Korea very often but started to when he had school recess for the holidays and summer breaks. Since he expressed an interest in attending university in Korea, it felt like the right decision to send Riki whenever school wasn’t in session. He’d stay with his paternal grandparents and saw you every so often when you were both invited to the same place. Neither of you made a real effort to keep up with each other on social media or over the phone. At this time, Riki followed you on Instagram and you hadn’t bothered to follow him back. In all honesty, you didn’t see the point. 

You held a lot of resentment over Riki for things you know you can’t blame him for. But with new life changes that came your way, Riki seemed like the perfect scapegoat. He feels it sometimes, the way you pull him in just to push him away when the moment gets too familiar. He shoves down his feelings, choosing to treasure when you laugh with him. 

The two of you are doing somewhat better nowadays. You followed him back on Instagram the night after you dropped him off at the airport at the behest of your grandparents. They insisted Riki arrive at the airport four hours early despite the flight’s duration equating to two and a half hours. You suspected they wanted to force you into spending a little bit of alone time with your half-brother and get to know each other. 

To your surprise, the two of you got along pretty well. Riki was a dweeb trying to mask himself as cool. You bought him ice cream (pretending like you didn’t see him smiling so hard that he forced it off of his face) and sat in your car for two hours to talk. He found out you were a genius when it came to mathematics, a subject he did not excel in, and you found out he’s in a hip hop dance crew and wants to study dancing in Korea. Riki showed you a few clips of him dancing and from the corner of your eye, you could see how happy he was to be sharing this moment with you. It made your heart twinge and guilt crept up your spine when you think of all the times you’ve blown him off. You said goodbye to him at the gate and he surprised you with the first hug he’s ever given you. 

Still, it’s a bit awkward when the two of you spend any time together without your friends acting as buffers. It irks you that Riki and Heeseung get along so well because they share similar interests and are often awake at the same time, especially during the midnight hour. Part of you wondered if Heeseung would tell you all about your “rivalry” and how the two of you didn’t get along. If he did, Riki never let you know it because he’s been the same Riki you’ve known since you first met him three years ago. 

You can tell Heeseung is a bit irritated, too, that your half-brother still chooses to be nice to you. In fact, you realize he’s annoyed at everyone about this, especially Jungwon. You don’t call him out on it because you know it’ll spark a useless argument that makes you and everyone else feel upset. How Heeseung has the energy and stamina to avoid you for hours on end is strange to you. 

You and Jungwon meet Riki at the front door while Jay gets out of the car to make room for his belongings and the lawn chairs his grandparents dropped off for this specific trip. There’s exactly eight of them and they somehow all fit into the rear with all of the other cooking gear he’s packed. You assume the other car has everything needed for pitching tents and fishing.

“Hi,” Riki says before you can acknowledge him. He steps forward like he’s about to throw his arms around you but stops himself. “Good morning.” 

“Morning, Riki,” you say while grabbing the duffle bag from his shoulder. “Let me put this in the car. You and Wonnie can load the chairs.” 

“Aye, aye, captain.” 

It’s Riki’s first time on the camping trip and you find yourself a bit more nervous with him coming. He’s not someone who’s been camping before and you wonder if any of the other guys are going to look out for him. Jungwon, for as responsible as he is, tends to turn into a younger version of himself when he’s with your half-brother. You furrow your eyebrows when you put his duffle bag in Jay’s trunk as he rearranges and waits for the two boys to load everything in before settling back into the car. 

Riki and Jungwon immediately hop in the backseat and you’re quite pleased that you don’t have to call shotgun. They talk about things you don’t understand while Jay starts the car and resumes manning the aux cord. That strange feeling of nervousness creeps back into your stomach. You turn around and startle Riki when you look at him. 

“Do you have everything you need?” you ask him. 

“Yes,” Riki says with a nod. “I have my water bottle, my Swiss army knife, and sunblock.” 

“Bug spray?” 

“Jungwon says he’s bringing a few bottles.”

“Swimming trunks?”

“C’Mon, Y/N. We’re gonna be camping by a lake. That’s the first thing I packed.”

“Toothbrush?”

“Second thing I packed.”

“Enough shirts and socks?”

“Okay,” Jay says, pulling your wrist to get you to look at the road. “Riki’s got everything he needs and if he doesn’t, I’m sure someone else would let him use or borrow it.”

“I’m just making sure he’s got everything so we don’t need to stop somewhere,” you mutter, slinking into your seat while Jay sighs. You don’t catch it, but Riki sits behind you with a happy smile on his face. 

“Relax. We’re trying to make the most before summer ends. You deserve that too.” You know Jay’s right. He smiles when you fix your posture and hands you his phone. “You know my passcode. Queue up whatever you want.” 

You do just that, especially since Jungwon and Riki are engrossed in a conversation about God knows what. You think of interrupting them to ask what they want to listen to but ultimately decide to play a few songs you and Jay could jam out to and some from Jungwon’s playlists. You also try to remember the songs Riki has danced to in his Instagram videos and the musicians he posts on his stories and add them to the queue too. 

“Thanks for letting us come on this trip,” Jay tells you with chatter in the background, not once taking his eyes off of the road. “I know it’s a thing you and Jungwon do with your families.” 

“Eh, it was bound to happen anyway. Jake was the only one here last summer and I knew it was a matter of time.” 

“Still, I know how you’ve been feeling lately and it must be overwhelming to have so many people around you right now.” Damn. Jay is almost as receptive as Jungwon is. 

You don’t bother lying to him. “Yeah, I think I’m just scared about starting my life in Okayama. I know a few people but it’s not like here. I thought it was what I wanted to do when I accepted the position but now I can’t help but feel like I made a mistake.” 

“It’s not a mistake if you believed in it enough to do it all those months ago. I mean, there’s a reason why you’re moving.” 

“I guess.”

“You don’t give yourself enough credit, dude. You’re like, a fucking wizard when it comes to numbers and even Jake is speechless. You know how he feels about math and physics.” 

That makes you laugh. “It feels kinda nerdy to love math so much but fuck it. It got me a paid year’s worth of employment before I earn my Master’s.”

“See? Not so bad, isn’t it?” You suppose it’s not. “Junwon, can you please tell the others that we’re about to stop for coffee then be on our way?” You see the notifications on your phone. 

wonton: we just picked up riki

jaeyunnie: who’s we

wonton: me jay and yn

jaeyunnie: AYOOOOOOO YN

you: JAEYUNIE :DD

jaeyunnie: idk why i thought jay was driving alone. whatever this is about to be the best camping trip of my Life. even better than last year

sun sun: is it just me or is jake always really fucking dramatic. also i’m lowkey offended i wasn’t invited last year …

jaeyunnie: shut Up u know nothing about me sunoo. and u were in bejing how tf could you have gone with us

sun sun: so much attitude 🙄

fanghoon: yn save me PLEASE. i’m in a car filled with animals

sun sun: HEY

jaeyunnie: who are you calling an animal big guy ?

you: sunghoon what makes you think i can do that 

you: jk come over here ~i will protect you~

fanghoon: Thank You. It’s Literally 8am

jaeyunnie: u guys need to become morning people

you: pass

sun sun: PASS 

sun sun: noona we are the same 🙂‍↕️

you: i know that’s right

wonton: we’re gonna stop for coffee before heading to the campsite 

jaeyunnie: oh shit we should make heeseung stop for coffee too

wonton: jay says to stop blowing up his phone in the group chat. we’ll text you when we stop for gas and when we’ve arrived. bye!!!

***

After one stop to fill up Jay’s gas tank (you paid for him as a thank you) and a snack run (Jungwon and Riki split the cost), the four of you are at the campsite in no time. You’re all somewhat grateful that it’s a little bit cloudy outside because the sun was killing you on the two-hour mark of your road trip. The weather is a little cooler and you tug on the sweater that Jungwon’s dad gave you.  

You see your other friends park just after you do. Jungwon and Riki are first to get out of the car and greet them like they haven’t seen the group in years while you and Jay take your time getting out of your seats. Since when did your joints become so stiff? You blame it on the fact that you woke up from a nap just a few minutes before you arrived. 

“This place was hard to find,” you hear Heeseung say from a distance. You try not to let it dampen your mood. 

“Where’s Y/N?” You’re sure that was Jake. 

“Waking up, probably,” says Jungwon. “She took a nap in the car and we just woke her up.” 

“The drive wasn’t even that long.” You assume your best friend gives Heeseung some kind of reaction before the latter apologizes quickly. 

Jake is by the passenger door as you open it and looks at you like a dog who wants to be taken out on a walk. He holds the handle to the door and bounces in his shoes until you push yourself out of the car. The loud slamming of the door behind you makes you wince. Jake pulls you into a hug faster than you can process. 

“I missed you dude,” Jake says. He puts his arm over your shoulder and slowly leads you to the group. “Did you have a good summer?”

“You know, despite the incredibly hot weather that made me feel like I would sweat to death, summer wasn’t so bad. How was Brisbane?”

“I missed the heat,” Jake says with a pout. “But it was pretty good to be back home for a month. I really missed my parents and my brother.” 

“I’m sure they missed you too.”

Jungwon spots you. “Your eyes are so puffy.” He takes his thumbs and tries to put more color underneath your eyes and onto your cheeks. Riki, Sunoo, and Jay have slipped away to start setting up camp.

Jake laughs beside you when you swat Jungwon’s hands away and lets his own arms fall when you lurch forward to give him a taste of his own medicine. He always liked that Jungwon was able to bring out a childish side to you because he’s always seen you carry yourself like you had to shoulder the weight of the world. Watching you chase Jungwon as he tried to escape your pinching fingers made him a bit more happier knowing you’d have friends like him to return to when you came back from Japan. 

Heeseung, however, rolls his eyes and speaks low. “She’s so childish.” 

“Dude,” Sunghoon sighs in exasperation. “We’re gonna be with her for a week. You need to quit making those comments.” 

Heeseung shrugs. “What? It’s not like she can hear what I’m saying.” 

“Yeah, but we can. We’re friends with her too, Heeseung.” 

The eldest tries to hold in his disdain. “Yeah, whatever. I’ll keep shit to myself.” 

“Just for now,” Jake encourages. “Y/N never starts anything with you but sometimes you say something that goes a little too far. No one is asking you to be her best friend.”

“Just remember it was Y/N’s mom and Jungwon’s parents who invited all of us,” Sunghoon reminds his friend. “We wouldn’t be here without them and if I recall correctly, you really wanted to come when you found out we were all planning to go.” Heeseung wants to argue and justify why he’s annoyed but can’t find a good enough reason. 

“You’re right,” he relents. “I’ll make nice but do not expect me to do shit for her.”

“We aren’t.” Sunghoon pats Heeseung’s back. “You’ve got this. It’s supposed to be a fun trip before we all go back to reality. All we want is one week where you two don’t create tension.” 

“I can do that.” Jake and Sunghoon share a look between the two of them when Heeseung isn’t looking and pray that he means it.

When Jungwon decides he’s out of breath, he accepts his fate and runs into Sunghoon’s arms when you outstretch your arms to pinch his cheeks and pull them apart like he’s made out of dough. The broken laughter coming from your best friend makes you laugh too. Everyone, save for Heeseung, laughs when Jungwon’s face becomes distorted due to your fingers. 

Eventually, you pull away from him and he starts to grab his duffle bag and the lawn chairs. The three of you follow suit once you realize you’re missing a few people. You lift your duffle over your shoulder and put on your hiking backpack while trying to hold more lawnshairs than you can carry. 

“Woah,” Sunghoon says as he catches a falling chair. “Let me help.”

“Thanks, Hoon. I don’t know why I thought I could carry two chairs at once.” 

“You’re strong but you’re also carrying a fuck ton of things.” 

He smiles at you and it makes you laugh. You haven’t seen much of Sunghoon over the summer because he’s been working nonstop at a local ice rink, teaching kids how to skate in back to back summer classes. Sunghoon is sometimes too tired to hang out after work or falls asleep on your couch whenever he hangs out with you to watch movies. Your mom thinks it’s a bit endearing and never has the heart to wake him up. Between Sunghoon’s impromptu sleepovers, Jungwon and Sunoo’s unannounced visits, Jay’s cooking and baking sessions in your kitchen, and Jake appearing out of nowhere every few nights for dinner, you’re starting to think your house might have an unspoken open door policy. 

Heeseung is the only one who doesn’t frequent your house if you don’t count Riki, who doesn’t spend enough time in Korea to become a permanent fixture. The only time Heeseung has been to your house is when he dropped Jungwon off after he had one too many to drink and he’d been adamant about going to your place because it was closer to the bar in comparison to your apartment. One awkward conversation later and Heeseung was out of your driveway. Jungwon woke up with a hangover the next morning and you were grateful your mother chose that weekend to take a girl’s trip with her best friends.

You don’t invite Heeseung over like you do with the others. The only reason why you haven’t deleted his phone number is because of the big group chat you’re in to discuss plans. He never responds to your texts in it and you don’t respond to him unless absolutely necessary. Sometimes you catch him laughing at your messages only to retract it when he realizes it’s you who sent it. It’s been six years of dealing with this and as much as it confuses you, part of you has learned to tune out this behavior and focus on the other friends you do share. 

Sunghoon must know you’re thinking about his friend because he looks at you like he’s been trying to get your attention. “Sorry,” you apologize. “What did you say?” 

“I said thanks for letting us crash your trip. I know this is something you and Jungwon do with your families every year. Can’t help but feel a little special that we get to come along.” 

You coo at him. “Do you remember when you could barely look me in the eye, let alone tell me something as sweet as that?” Sunghoon rolls his eyes. 

“Oh, shut up. You know I’m an introvert.” You bump your hip with his. 

“I’m just messing with you. But in all seriousness, it’ll be fun having you guys around.”

“I’m excited to see what you and Jungwon do every year.” 

“Nothing too out of the ordinary. Swim, eat a lot of food, kayak, hike, the usual. But there’s one spot we usually go to, just he and I, that’s away from the main spot on the lake.” 

“How’d you find it?”

“Jungwon found it by accident when we were younger. He said it was gonna be our secret spot and told me not to tell our parents. I think the whole campground panicked for an hour or so until somebody found us in the clearing.” 

Sunghoon snorts. “Yeah, that sounds like you two.” 

“They told us to tell them where we’d be and promised to leave us alone if we gave them a heads up. It’s not really noticeable if you don’t know where to look, but it’s so beautiful. It leads to another part of the lake and it’s always so peaceful and quiet.” 

“In that case, I’m honored that you’re showing us.” 

“Eh, it’s about time we add new members to the club.”

“Oh?” He raises his eyebrow. “There’s a club now?”

“Mhm. Gotta pay me two fish to join.” 

“Like you know how to fish.” You bump your hip with his again.

“There are things you guys don’t know about me, Park. Just wait and see.” 

Sunghoon lets the conversation end when he finds himself at the campsite where Jay and Riki have started to organize things and make spots for tents. It’ll take a few trips for all of the supplies and camping gear to be fully unloaded so you each take turns until everything is sitting in a big pile, waiting to be sorted. 

“Okay, I’m a bit out of my depth,” says Sunoo, who kicks around a rock as he speaks. “I, for one, will need help pitching a tent.”

“I’ll help you,” you say, nodding for him to come over. 

“You can pitch a tent?” Heeseung asks like he doesn’t believe you. 

You nod and pick up a bag. “Yeah. I do this every year.” You don’t say it with any bite in your tone but Heeseung, who forgot this fact, feels like an idiot for making a fool of himself in front of his friends. He chooses to look away from you for now. 

“We have three tents we need to put up,” Jay says. “I’m thinking we pitch those now, have a snack and water break, and then start to organize before we eat lunch.” 

“Sounds good.” You agree. “I’d rather have everything set up so we can enjoy our evening. Besides, we should do this before it gets dark.” 

“Right.” Jungwon clears his throat and hands out each bag, assigning your friends based on the size of the tent. Everybody gets to work, clearing the flat ground of rocks and debris before deciding where your tents will go. You all hammer the groundsheet into the dirt before assembling the poles.

You teach Sunoo the basics and give him pointers when he struggles to connect the joints. He’s learning much faster than he gives himself credit for because in no time, he’s jumping for joy when he finally manages to grasp what he’s supposed to be doing. It’s nice to watch him be so happy over this, as Sunoo originally declined the invitation to go camping since he isn't a huge fan of the outdoors. But now it’s like you would’ve never guessed that because he’s pretty quick to pick up your lessons.

Your tent is pitched up in no time. You roam around like a camp counselor to see if anybody needs help. Jake, Heeseung, Jay, and Jungwon seem to know what they’re doing and have the biggest tent halfway set up. Sunghoon and Riki look like they need a bit of assistance. Sunghoon’s figuring it out quickly while Riki fumbles with his fingers. 

“You have to do it slowly,” you say from beside him. Riki hands you the attachments when you beckon him to hand it over and show him slowly. “Like this. See? If you do it slowly, they’ll catch easier and it’ll be smoother when we feed them into the tent.” 

“Oh.” Riki nods when your trick works. “Thanks, Y/N.” 

The three of you pitch up your tent too, with Riki handing you the pegs to hammer them into the ground after zipping the door. Sunghoon dusts off his hands on his shorts and takes a big gulp from his water bottle. Sunoo’s mom packed enough fruit and onigiri for a midday snack, and all eight of you feast quietly after exerting more power than anyone anticipated. You really need to start working out again. 

“Before we clear out and organize everything else, we should probably figure out who sleeps where,” Jungwon says. “That way, we can put our stuff in our respective tents and have that out of the way.” 

“Good idea,” Jake says. “How should we do this? Rock, paper, scissors?” 

“Sure, but I think Y/N and I should share a tent.” Heeseung rolls his eyes at Jungwon and you see it from the corner of your vision.

“What?” Riki asks. “Why?” 

“Because all of you get too comfortable around her and forget she doesn’t want to hear you snore or see your boxers in the morning.” Jungwon laughs. “It’ll be easier since we’ve been camping together anyway. She’s used to rooming with me and I’m used to waking up next to a Zombie.” 

“I hate you.” Jungwon merely smiles at you.  

“You just want to get out of sharing a tent with three people,” says Sunghoon. Jungwon nods. 

“That too.” 

“Rock, paper, scissors it is,” Sunoo says, getting his hands ready. 

They all battle one another until the rooming situation is sorted. You and Jungwon will share a tent while Sunoo and Jay share the other smaller one. That leaves Jake, Sunghoon, Riki, and Heeseung sharing the big one. You all throw your belongings in before helping Jay organize the portable stove, chairs, and other things that need to be stored properly. 

When all is said and done an hour later, Jay and Sunghoon start a barbecue. All of you are spent, sagging your bodies in the camping chairs that are positioned around the campfire. You know you’ll need to fetch some wood from the outpost if you all want to have a bonfire. But that can be a task for later.

“Your mom makes the best onigiri,” Riki groans as he shoves another bite in his mouth. “It reminds me so much of home.” 

Sunoo smiles proudly. “She’s the best, isn’t she?” Jake, who is busy stuffing his face with sliced watermelons, agrees. They pick at the leftovers from snack time and Jay chides them for it.

“Don’t spoil yourselves too much or you won’t have an appetite for lunch.” 

“He’s so bossy,” Riki says as he leans over towards you. “But it’s kinda nice having someone who does shit and takes charge.” 

You nod. “Mhm. Usually Jungwon and I are the ones spearheading everything but Jay’s got some camping experience. I’m fine taking the backseat.” 

“Do you camp a lot? Besides this tradition, I mean.” Riki watches you shake your head. 

“No, not really. This is as much as I can handle. It’s more like a gigantic lake house with hot showers and a few convenience stores miles away to replenish food if we run out of anything.”

“It looks like you know what you’re doing.”

“That’s because I do, Riki.” 

He blushes. “Right. Thanks for helping me with my tent earlier.” 

“Don’t sweat it. You’ll be able to do it without my help in no time.” That brings a shimmer of hope to the younger boy sitting next to you. 

Heeseung avoids looking at you when Riki purposefully sits beside you on the empty lawn chair. He doesn’t completely understand why the younger boy likes you so much. Heeseng thinks you’re a nuisance and that you overstay your welcome at hangouts. But Riki clings to you like you’re his lifeline and he gets that you’re his half-sister and all, but you weren’t the most welcoming to him when he started hanging out in Korea more often. Riki would never tell Heeseung the details about his past and he never tried to pry past what the youngest would reveal. Six years of avoiding you made him forget every single detail he once knew about you when you’d both been somewhat friendly towards one another. 

There were some days when you wouldn’t make room in your schedule to see Riki as often as he’d wanted you to and he lamented that to Heeseung. But every time he’d start to talk about how unfair it was for you to pick and choose when you got to see our younger brother, Riki would defend you every time. He didn’t get it, feeling the frustration bubble to the surface before realizing that it wasn’t his place to question why Riki acted the way he did. Sure, he was younger than Heeseung, but he respected family matters and didn’t care about you enough to figure you out anyway. 

He keeps these feelings to himself mostly. The friends you share don’t really understand why he has a distaste for you and he refuses to elaborate because the memory is too painful, and instead chooses to bury these feelings. It’s nobody’s business anyway. He certainly doesn’t want to start anything with Riki involved because he would feel guilty for putting him in an uncomfortable position, and because he knows he’d defend you regardless. Even though you’ve made progress to open up yourself to Riki, Heeseung still scoffs whenever he sees the two of you together. 

By the time lunch is done, all eight of you are crowded around a table built into the ground, feasting on meat and vegetables. Everybody thanks Jay for cooking and the seven of you agree to clean up after every meal so Jay doesn’t have to work twice as hard. You’re not sitting too far from Heeseung (to both of your dismay). Sunghoon purposely sat in between you both when he realized the other empty spots were filling up and didn’t want to chance an uproar during mealtime. 

“So,” Sunoo starts to say after closing the bottle cap on his cola. “What’s on the agenda for today? Personally, I think we should take it easy until tomorrow.” 

“I agree.” Jungwon nods. “We’ve done a lot and drove for a while. I say we relax and do whatever until dinner.” 

“I’m going to nap, that’s for sure.” You all snicker at Jay. Typical. 

“Me too,” says Riki. 

“Is anyone up for walking around the lake?” Jake asks. 

“I could go,” Sunghoon says from next to you. 

“Sure,” you finally say, “why not.” 

“I think I’ll hang back here.” Heeseung says it almost immediately and it stings a bit. “I’ll probably nap too.” 

“I want to read.” Sunoo changes the direction of the conversation before anyone can pick up on the awkwardness and you throw him a smile. 

“I think I’ll join you.” Jungwon pulls a book from his backpack and the pair begin to brainstorm where they should sit. Natural chatter falls back into place and you focus on eating, as your stomach has been grumbling pretty loud. 

Heeseung breaks the silence. “Can someone pass me the pineapple?” You don’t register that your arm has moved on its own accord and pass the container to him. Heeseung gives you a look you can’t decipher and it’s only then you realize what you’ve done. Sunghoon gulps. 

“Thanks,” Heeseung mutters, taking the pineapple from your hands. You’re pleasantly surprised he doesn’t make a comment about how he isn’t craving it anymore and watch him eat some from the corner or your eye. 

By nightfall, all of you are too exhausted to sit around the campfire. The hot shower stalls provide the kind of warmth you would go crazy without and you find yourself contemplating underneath the water longer than you’d like to admit. A plethora of thoughts run across your mind and they drift from the events of today, Riki, Heeseung, and moving to Okayama. Your friends don’t bring up the move and you’re grateful for that. 

When you return from the shower and from brushing your teeth, Jungwon asks if you’re okay. You lie and say you’re fine but exhausted and he lets it go, too tired himself to pry the truth out of you. The last thing you think about is Heeseung. You send a silent prayer out into the universe and ask that the two of you are able to make nice during this camping trip. Then, you fall asleep.

***

Everybody is up bright and early after a good night’s sleep. All of you agree today’s the best day for a short hike to get used to the terrain before you explore harder trails. You and Jungwon know the hike like the back of your hand and lead the group expertly through trees and dirt pathways. All of you have a backpack for your essentials, and each of you has packed a portable lunch for when you reach the top of the peak at the end of the trail. 

Halfway into the hike is not as uphill as you recalled it to be. The scenery is still breathtaking and you temporarily forget that Heeseung is burning eyes in the back of your skull. Last night’s prayer seems to be working, as he hasn’t said a word to you or argued with you when you started leading everybody towards the start of the hiking path. You’re not sure whether his feelings about you changed or if he knows you’re the literal expert since you grew up here, but you don’t think you care either way. 

Heeseung makes a false step and twists his ankle. You hear the commotion behind you and turn around. He stumbles and a sharp edge of a branch catches his thigh, creating a gash that starts to bleed. Everyone crowds around him when they realize it and make him sit on a large rock and he feels like shouting at you to back away when you start to walk towards him.

“Guys, I’m fine. It’s not that bad.” He feels more embarrassed than hurt. 

Jake looks concerned. “Dude, your leg is bleeding.” 

“It’s just a cut.” 

“Let me inspect it.” 

You pull your backpack off of you and take out your water bottle and first aid kit. You drop to your knees to inspect the wound and Heeseung refrains from coughing at the awkward position from where he’s sitting. You don’t seem phased by it, however, as you push up the fabric of his shorts and use your water bottle to clean the dirt from his wound. 

Your face is somewhat close to his leg and he jumps when your hand touches his thigh. The guys mistake his sudden movements as pain and rush to help stabilize him. Heeseung insists that he’s fine and brushes them off of him. He won’t admit that his fidgeting is because the last thing he expected you to do was patch him up. He figures Jungwon would be good at that kind of stuff, not you. 

Heeseung winces at the sudden contact of water in his wound. “Okay, maybe it hurts a little.”

“You won’t need stitches or anything, but I should get you cleaned up and put a bandage on it.”

Heeseung watches as you do your best to clean it with the wipes you have and ointment that will keep any debris out. The wound isn’t too gnarly but it’s no small papercut either. He watches as you expertly deal with the wound and keeps quiet, even though he feels uncomfortable and wishes he could turn back time to avoid any of this. It’s awkward to know your hands are on him because he feels like ants are crawling up his leg.

“I think we should probably go back and rest a little,” says Jungwon. “We can eat lunch there and maybe hang out for a bit.”

“Good idea,” Heeseung mutters when you’ve stepped away from him. Sunghoon and Riki each help him up and allow the eldest to use them as crutches as he limps back to the base. He mutters a quiet ‘thank you’ in your direction and doesn’t pay attention to see your reaction. You feel like you got your hopes up for nothing because he turns his back towards you before you can smile at him. Defeated, you try to put your best self on display and follow everybody back to your tents. 

Heeseung decides to rest on the chairs and eat his lunch there. You aren’t particularly eager to spend any time with him and figure he’d appreciate it if you weren’t around while he recovered. You take your sack of lunch and tell Jungwon you’ll be walking around the lake like you did yesterday. He tells you to be safe and then you’re on your way. 

“Hey, wait up!” You turn around to see Jake running until he’s caught up with you. It’s a bit unfair how he barely runs out of breath when he jogs. It’s definitely because he’s an athlete, but it’s still unfair. 

“Care to join?” 

“Can’t a guy accompany his friend on a nice, brisk walk?” 

That makes you laugh. “Yeah, sure.” You fall in a quiet tandem enjoying the silence and the environment for a while. “I had a lot of fun camping last year. I think my favorite part was kayaking or when Jungwon accidentally dropped his entire s’more in the fire.” 

You snicker at the memory. “His mom was so mad that he kept eating the marshmallows.” 

“Yeah, it was pretty funny. I still feel kind of embarrassed that I managed to flip over in my kayak somehow.” 

“Eh, it makes for a good story.”

“It’s not my fault Jungwon slammed into me!” Jake defends when you begin to laugh. “Seriously, Y/N. How the fuck do you put up with that menace?” 

“The same way you do, dummy.”

Jake bites into his sandwich. “I love Jungwon.”

“Me too.” 

“Our parents loved having you come too. Jungwon’s dad loves fishing with people.”

“I still can’t believe how many we were able to catch. I’m sad the guys weren’t there because they keep shitting on me for not being able to catch any when we go together.” 

You bump your shoulder against his. “They don’t know what I know. I’m sure my mom has pictures somewhere.” 

“How is she, by the way?” Jake asks. 

“Eomma’s doing alright. She just got a huge bonus at work for managing a really difficult client and completing this campaign she’s been working on. It stressed her out for months but I’m happy if she’s happy.” 

“That’s awesome. I’m happy for her.” 

“How are things with your family? How’s Layla?” 

“My parents are actually on a trip to the States to see some family and my brother just got promoted at his job. I’m super proud of him. He worked really hard for it. Layla’s doing okay too. She’s staying with my cousin until I come back.” 

“I miss her.”

“She probably misses you too.” 

The two of you settle into a comfortable pace and eat your lunches. There are no awkward moments with Jake. Something about his personality makes everyone around him divulge their deepest secrets and he always seems to know what to say, too. You haven’t been close to him for very long but you know him well enough to know that he’ll keep anything you say between the two of you. 

“I know you probably feel a little awkward with Heeseung around but you’ve been handling it really well.” Jake’s tone softens and he looks straight ahead as he talks, breaking the temporary silence. “I don’t know what goes on in his head half the time.” 

“I just wish I knew what I did so I can apologize and fix it. He gets mad every time I ask and accuses me of bringing up bad memories for him. I don’t know what to do, Jake. It feels like he gets along with everybody in my life but me.” 

“We all know Heeseung’s been through a lot and has trouble talking about them sometimes. He’s been in therapy but we had to really convince him to set an appointment.” 

You scoff. “Sounds like him.’ Jake doesn’t disagree. 

“I guess I understand that having to deal with shitty cards makes a person go insane.”

“Sure. I just wish I wasn’t the scapegoat.” Jake winces but tries not to let you see. 

“Sorry you’re going through this. Sunghoon and I made him swear to be on his best behavior.” 

“It’s a little awkward still but at least he isn’t picking a fight with me. Although, who knows how long that’ll last.”

“Have a little more faith in him, Y/N.” You deadpan and he holds his hand up in mock surrender. “Okay, next topic. How are you feeling about Japan?” 

Your shoulders slump. ”Awful.” 

Jake’s head quirks like he doesn’t understand. “What do you mean? You were really excited when you got the job offer.” 

“I know but…it doesn’t feel right anymore. My whole life is about to change and I don’t know how I feel about that.”

“You don’t have to know anything. In fact, I’d be a little worried if you had your shit figured out.” You punch his arm. “It’s really cool that you’re leaving Korea to pursue your dream. I know how hard it is to leave everything behind for a better opportunity.”

You look at him softly and nod because you know he empathizes with you. Back when you first met him, he’d moved from Australia to Korea because your university had one of the best physics programs in the world. He knew how to speak your native Korean but wasn’t confident in conversing back then, and you had your fair share of mentoring him in formal greeting and the basics when it came to interacting with people. Jake definitely understands where you’re coming from and doesn’t want you to feel alone. 

“We’ll always be here for you too,” he reassures. “We won’t be too far away and you can come home whenever you have the time and aren’t working.” 

“I know, but it feels like everything in my life is changing at the same time and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. I wish I was a freshman again. I wish I could turn back time and really enjoy my life before I make a life changing decision.” 

“You’re really torn up about this, aren’t you?”

Nodding, you look at the ground beneath you. “There are so many things I’ve been dealing with over the past few years or so and it feels like I’m giving up on things if I just leave. Everything feels so scary, you know? I feel like I’m being suffocated every time I open my eyes. 

“On top of starting a new job in a place I’m not that familiar with, I’m leaving my mom behind. I’ve never lived farther than an hour away from her and I hate knowing that I won’t be able to see her whenever I want. Not to mention Riki studying in Korea means I’ll be spending even more time with him.”

Jake chooses not to comment and nods with his lips pressed into a thin line. He doesn’t know what’s going on between the two of you but has his suspicions after hearing your hushed conversations with Jungwon. Even before the two of you became as close as you are, Jake has always looked out for you because he knows Jungwon loves you like a sister. It was easy to tell that you’d fallen into some sort of depression as you graduated high school and barely managed to pull yourself out of it before graduating university. 

Riki has always been a sore subject for you. Jake doesn’t bring him up unless you do, no matter how much he adores the younger boy. The relationship you have with him is complicated but it tears him up inside to see Riki longing for you when the two of you are together. Jake knows there’s a great deal of tension that follows both of you too. He could feel it the first time you brought up having a half-brother and started to put the pieces together. 

“I love that Riki’s more comfortable in Korea. I really do,” you confess. “I love that my friends get along with him too, but part of me is scared that you’ll all forget about me since he’ll be here to take my place.” 

“You are not replaceable.” Jake looks at you when he says it. “You’re about to chase your dream, Y/N. None of us will throw our friendship down the drain just because we won’t be able to see you everyday. Riki is great but he’s not you.”

He’s pleased when you lift the corners of your mouth into a small smile. “Thanks, Jake. I don’t know where this fear came from.” 

“You’re dealing with a lot. It’s understandable. I don’t know much about what’s going on between you and Riki, and you don’t have to tell me, but you should know that he loves you a lot and would never think about dishonoring you while you’re gone.” 

“I know. I have a lot of pent up emotions and therapy feels like it isn’t working. I guess I should give myself some more time. But with the move, it’s been hard to focus on anything. I don’t want Riki to feel like I don’t want him in my life but it’s hard to make room for somebody you didn’t know existed until a few years ago.” 

Jake nods. “Yeah, I get that. It feels a bit weird making space for someone who calls himself your brother, isn’t it?” 

“He has every right to. I mean, he’s my half-brother. But I don’t know…I want to be at a place where I can look at him and not see how much my life has changed for the worst. He’s such a talented kid with a bright future and I hate that I project my feelings onto him.” 

“Baby steps,” Jake reassures. “You’ve been through a lot of shit. Both you and your mom have and you've both handled it really well.” 

“I’m glad it looks that way because I feel like I’m hanging on by a thread.” 

“Well, that’s what it means to be in your early twenties.”   

The two of you decide to head back to the campsite when it starts to get warmer. You throw your trash in garbage bins before trotting back and see that Sunoo and Jay have left to go back hiking on the trail that you were on earlier in the day. Heeseung seems to fare better with his wound, which you see he’s managed to replace (thanks to Jungwon, no doubt). But his mood seems to worsen when he sees you and Jake walking side by side towards the group. 

“How was the lake?” Jungwon asks, sipping on a cola.

“Pretty,” Jake replies. “There weren’t that many people there so it was a little empty.” 

“We should probably discuss what we want to do for the rest of the day and plan some stuff for later this week. It’ll be a little warmer later in the week so I think we should save that. There’s a great spot where Y/N and I go fishing. We could do that later in the morning.”

“Y/N, fishing?” Heeseung laughs. “I’d pay to see that.”

“What, you don’t think I can fish?” 

He shrugs. “I didn’t know you were a fan of the outdoors. You always had a nose in your textbooks so I thought that was it for you.” 

“Well, Heeseung, it’s not like the two of us know each other well enough to know these types of things.” He doesn’t seem to like that answer. 

“Fishing tomorrow it is!” Jake interjects. 

“I haven’t gone fishing in a long time,” Riki laments. “It’ll be nice to have trout for dinner.” 

“I think Jay brought a lot of seasoning and sides,” Jungwon says to the group. “We can always go to the market a few miles down for anything else.” 

You tune out the rest of the conversation, feeling a bit tired from the walk and the heat that’s starting to make you sweat. You’re eternally grateful that your tent is covered in shade and contemplate on taking a nap when Jungwon waves at you.

“You good, Y/N? You seem a little out of it.” You nod at Jungwon and take a seat next to the closest camp chair. You can feel Heeseung watching you and try not to slip as you sink down into the seat, crossing one of your legs over the other. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just have a lot going on in my head. I think I’m a little tired, too”

Heeseung scoffs quietly. “We’re camping. What could you possibly be thinking about that’s making Jungwon worried?” You curl into yourself as Jungwon chides his friend. 

“I’m moving to Japan soon,” you tell him. You’re not even sure that he knows this about you, figuring that one of your friends would tell him to you at some point. Neither of you communicate with one another unless you absolutely have to. You didn’t see the point in telling him. “I’ve been thinking a lot about that, I guess.”

An array of emotions seems to wash over him and, as always, you have a hard time trying to figure out what he’s feeling and thinking. “Oh. So you’ll be out of Korea?”

“Yup.” 

“When are you leaving?” 

“Don’t seem too excited,” Sunghoon says underneath a cough.

“In a couple of weeks. I leave a little after we get back home.” Heeseung merely nods. He doesn’t ask you why you’re moving or what part of Japan you’ll be living in and you don’t offer that information, feeling awkward with the tension ever since you and Jake arrived back at the campsite. Riki finishes eating and stands up to throw his trash away, providing something to look at in order to forget that Heeseung keeps trying to look away from you. 

“Y/N’s gonna be an engineer,” Jungwon brags on your behalf. “She’s taking a year off to work before getting her master’s degree.” 

“Damn,” Riki whistles. “You’re so smart.” You try to hide a smile. 

“What are you gonna be working on?” Sunghoon asks. 

“I’ll be assisting other researchers in software development, particularly for space and aeronautics.” You nod once, feeling tense underneath everyone’s stare. “I don’t know what I’ll be doing specifically but that’s why I’m moving to Okayama.” 

“That’s so cool!” Jake exclaims. Heseung rolls his eyes at his excited outburst and tries to avoid your eye. “You’re gonna be amazing.” 

“I hope so. It’s a great opportunity to work in my chosen field before I decide to continue in this career when I go back to school. I have so many interests within mathematics but this seems like the right place to start.”

“Shit,” Sunghoon says as he slowly claps for dramatic effect. “I knew you were smart but you’re a fucking genius.”

“I wouldn’t say genius–”

“You are, though.” Jungwon smiles at you and gives two thumbs up. “You’re the smartest person I know, dude. This company is lucky to have you.”

“So cool,” Jake says again. He bumps Heeseung’s shoulder with the back of his hand. “Isn’t that right, Heseung?” 

“Yeah, totally,” he says carelessly, giving you a half-hearted smile. His mouth doesn’t quite reach his eyes and you refrain from audibly sighing. 

“Don’t you think Y/N was always the smartest person in our year?” Heeseung nods. Jake nudges his friend again. 

“Yes,” Heeseung says with a great amount of venom in his tone. He shakes off Jake’s hand from his body abruptly, causing the younger boy to take a step back in shock. He looks at you and musters an insincere smile when he notices the rest of your friends watching. “Y/N is so smart.” 

His sarcasm deafens your ears and makes your blood feel like it could be boiling beneath your skin. The atmosphere around you changes. Riki and Jungwon try to pretend like everything is normal while Jake and Sunghoon give Heeseung wide eyes as if to tell him to knock it off. You look at your lap, uncomfortable with the silence that washes over. 

“Why’s it so quiet?” Sunoo asks from behind you. The group collectively sighs and you’re all thankful that he and Jay returned from their hike to cut the tension. 

“We were just talking about what we wanted to do for the rest of the day,” Jungwon says before anyone can speak. “Let’s take it easy tonight and go fishing tomorrow.” 

“Sounds good to me.” Jay takes a seat and takes a big gulp of water. “Let’s heat up some kimchi jjigae for dinner because I don't feel like cooking. Jake’s mom made enough for all of us to have seconds.” 

None of you disagree. Feeling yourself grow more tired the more your friends converse with one another, you manage to catch Jungwon’s eye and nod at him before heading inside the tent. 

***

It’s not unusual for you to wake up with what feels like a heavy heart but you’re having a hard time pushing yourself off of the uncomfortable ground to get ready for the day. Jungwon is asleep beside you with his knee digging into your side but even that isn’t enough to motivate you to leave the tent. 

You mourn the loss of your mom and his parents accompanying you  on this trip. As fun as hanging out with your friends are, having Heeseung constantly avoiding eye contact and muttering things underneath your breath has you feeling more on edge than you anticipated. It always feels like he’s waiting for you to mess up so he can get a word in or wait for the perfect moment to drop a subtle insult that only you can catch. Sunghoon and Jake in particular try their best to restrain him but that doesn’t do much. Eating dinner was awkward and you blamed your quiet nature on sleeping too deeply. 

Finally, you sit up in your spot and rub the sleep out of your eyes. It doesn’t seem like any of the other guys are up and you pull a clock out to read the time. It’s still early and the people around you are still waking up as well. Your movements seem to have woken up Jungwon, who yawns when he opens his eyes.

“Morning,” he croaks. “Did you sleep okay?”

“It was fine. Woke up a few times because of people stepping on twigs, though.”

“Yeah, same. I think Jake got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. Woke up to him walking by the tent.” Jungwon sits up and brushes the hair out of his eyes. “I’m so hungry thinking about all the trout we’re about to eat tonight.” 

“If you catch any.” He swats your arm. 

“I alway catch more than you.”

“Nuh-uh. Last year I beat you by two fish.”

“Y/N, I’ve caught more fish than you every year before that.” 

“Shut up.” 

You hear Jungwon laughing as you exit the tent to freshen up at the bathhouse. There are a few people milling about when you walk towards the structure. Your mouth feels a bit grimey from your morning breath and the cold water that hits your face wakes you up immediately. When you turn around after you’ve finished your morning routine, you collide right into Heeseung.

“Watch it.” 

“I didn’t see you. Geez.” Your heart continues thumping as you grip your toiletry bag. Heeseung rolls his eyes and slips past you. Anger rises within you but you decide that it’s not worth getting so worked up over at this hour. 

As time ticks by, the rest of your friend group emerge from their tents and gather around the campfire. You all wait for everyone to wake up and prepare themselves for the day, enjoying a nice breakfast with a cool breeze until you’re all ready to go fishing. You secure the bucket hat Jungwon’s dad gave you until it fits snugly over your head and forego a jacket, only packing the necessities while you wait for everybody else to gather their belongings before you’re all walking to the boathouse. 

The instructors are the same from last year. You and Jungwon make small talk and explain that neither of your parents are here on this trip and you tell them about Japan when they ask you about life after college. Each of your friends introduce themselves and after a quick introduction, they’re leading all eight of you out onto the dock. 

There are enough boats for two pairs of three and one for two people. It seems as though you were too preoccupied talking to the employees because you realize the only boat left is one shared with Heeseung and Riki. 

“Oh,” comes your meek voice in realization as you watch the two step onto the boat.

“You should man the engine,” the employee says as the two men get on before you. “You’re more familiar.”

“I can steer,” Heeseung says. “I’ve done it before.” 

“I’ve watched Y/N steer these boats for a decade, son. You’ll definitely want her to do it.” 

Heeseung relents. It’s a small victory, but a victory nonetheless, 

You step onto the boat. Heeseung sits at the far end while Riki sits in the middle, holding onto the seat as you get your bearings. The three of you wave goodbye to the employees at the dock and you start to drive the boat out into the lake to catch up with the rest of your friends.

The open clearing away from the port is more beautiful than you can describe. With open waters and enough room to roam around, there’s an array of directions to catch the most fish. The water is fairly calm with the exception of the ripples your boat makes. Riki and Heeseung don’t say a word as you steer them towards a clear path with minimal boats and see the other guys scattered around the large body of water. 

Neither of them argue with you about where to go, even though Heeseung is holding himself back. Bitter over having you steer, he knows it’s the logical answer since you know this place like the back of your hand. He instead chooses to bask in the sunlight and welcomes the spray of water on his face and body. The cool splashes are a nice contrast to the warm sunlight. 

When you start to slow the boat down, the water around you becomes still as well. You turn the engine off and wait for the contraption to settle beneath you. The sound of water rippling against itself is enough to make you feel more at ease and you don’t mind it when you see Heeseung start to assemble bait on the fishing poles.

“Why’d you pick this place?” Riki asks.

“I caught a lot of fish here last year. I hope we can catch more this year.”

“More than Jungwon?”

You smile. “Yeah. He and I have this unspoken competition.”

“What’s the prize?”

“There’s not really a prize. It’s just something we do.”

“What’s the point of competing if there’s no prize?” Heeseung interjects. You shrug.

“Dunno. It’s fun for us.” He doesn’t say anything after that. 

It’s quiet for a while. The sound of birds chirping and faint chatter in the background fill the atmosphere but the three of you silently agree to refrain from talking once you’ve all casted your reels. Riki, who is a bit excited to catch some fish, anxiously peers at the water below him every few minutes or so. He pulls back with a pout when he doesn’t feel a tug on his line. The awkward tension somewhat dissipates and you’re able to forget that Heeseung is a few feet away from you. He angles his face towards the water and seems to be in his own bubble as you hold your fishing rod. 

Growing up on this campsite means learning the virtue of patience and willing yourself to become more in tune with your surroundings. It was your father that first taught you that the most important rule to fishing was patience. He’d tell you the fishes could sense urgency and impatience from underneath the water, and therefore they knew not to take your bait. It made sense to you at a young age. Every time you’d be on the water with him, you’d force yourself to slow down and calm your thoughts until the silence felt like a welcomed embrace. 

That mantra of practicing patience seeps into your life now that your dad isn’t in it anymore. Jungwon’s father had volunteered to go fishing with you the first year your own chose not to go on the annual camping trip. Everyone could tell how difficult it was for you and your mother to attend, but despite hardship and the change in dynamics, she didn’t want either of you to lose any semblance of normalcy. You’d argue that was the hardest week of your life. Jungwon, who is usually very organized and detail oriented, chose to let you lead the trip activities between the two of you and didn’t complain once.

The two of you were in high school when your father left and Jungwon swears it was like somebody stole the sun from your eyes. Your studies became the sole focus of your life and even Heeseung was barely at the forefront of your mind anymore. He’d watch you become detached from everything that didn’t have to do with academics and extracurriculars. Focusing on college applications was the most important thing for you back then. 

Of course, Jungwon and all of your friends gave you a bit of space to process new feelings and the change in household. Your father moved away and wasn't living in the house anymore. It started to become an empty shell, where neither you nor your mother could stand eating at the dining table because it brought up unwanted memories. Your dad wasn’t here to help you with homework anymore and you could no longer hear your parents talk outside of your door until you fell asleep. The complete silence startled you. It still does sometimes, but you’ve learned that grief is about facing your hardships until it isn’t so scary anymore. 

These trips are bittersweet every year. Fishing is a reminder of everything you’ve lost. But lately, you’re starting to think about it as everything you could gain and then some.  

“The more you look down, the more the fish are gonna be scared,” you say, breaking the quiet atmosphere. Riki looks at you quizzically. 

“Really?”

“No, but you’re not gonna catch anything faster just by looking down.” His shoulders sag. 

“We’ve been here for so long and nothing has tugged on my line.” 

“Fishing is a game of chance. The fish choose to take your bait if it feels enticed enough.” As if on cue, your fishing rod starts to move. Riki watches you latch onto it while Heeseung turns back when he feels the boat rock underneath him and observes you too. You wrestle with it for a short while before reeling the fish above water and proudly hold it beside you. “Patience is the most important part of fishing. The fish finds you when you least expect it.” Heeseung snorts when you put the fish in the bucket. It takes a great deal out of you not to roll your eyes.��

“You’re so wise,” Riki mutters. 

“I don’t think I’m wise, per se. I just think there’s nothing else you can do when you’re in open water with nothing to distract you.” 

“I’m working on my patience. Moving to Korea made that pretty difficult for me.” 

“Well, you’re moving to a new country. It’s something you’ve never done before, you know? I bet packing was stressful.” 

“I hated every second of it,” he says as he rolls his eyes like you’ve brought out an irritating memory. “I triple checked everything before leaving. I hope I didn’t forget anything back home.” 

“Are you scared to start the semester?”

Riki thinks about it for a second. “Kind of. My Korean is okay, but I still have trouble saying certain words. The culture is different, too. I need to get used to that more. I guess I’m a bit sad that I had to leave my friends and family behind but it’s for the best, isn’t it? I wanted this.” 

You find yourself nodding in agreement. “Yeah. It’s hard to leave everything you know behind.” 

“I cried when I said goodbye to my dance teachers,” Riki admits with a laugh. “I think it was the first time I did that in front of them. We kept bowing to each other until I had to go. It’ll be weird finding a new studio in Seoul but I’m excited about it.” 

“You’re an incredible dancer, Riki. There’s no doubt in my mind that you’ll thrive here.” 

He tries to hide his blush. “Thanks. I’m happy that I know some people already but it’s not the same, you know?” 

“That’s how I feel about moving to Okayama. I know it’ll only be a year, but it feels like I’ll be there for a lifetime.” 

“Do you ever get scared that everything back home will change?” Heeseung, too, is curious about your answer. 

“Honestly? Yeah. Sometimes it feels like everything’s gonna change completely the second I step on that plane. I feel like everyone will forget me and move on.”

Riki looks back at the water. “I wonder if people back home think of me.” 

“They do.” He looks back at you.

“Everyone here will think about you too.” 

A beat passes between the two of you and you start to see Riki for what he is: a smart, sensitive person who disguises himself as somebody who can mask his feelings. What you learn is that your half-brother wears his heart on his sleeve but is careful about who he gives himself too. It’s something you’ve noticed in the time you’ve known him, but this trip is starting to make you think you two are more alike than not. 

“What about you, Heeseung?” Riki asks, turning to look at the eldest. “What are you gonna be doing now that you graduated?” 

“I, uh, start working at a record label pretty soon.” He clears his throat. Knowing you’re looking at him makes this boat feel smaller all of the sudden. 

“You majored in music production, right?” Heeseung nods. 

“Yeah. I’ve always had an interest in music so I learned how to produce during freshman year and started taking it seriously.”

“I’ll bet your perfect pitch helps you a lot.” Heeseung whips his gaze over to you when you speak and you feel your skin burn. You don’t know if you should’ve contributed to the conversation or not. 

“Sure does,” he says awkwardly, looking at the fishing rod between his legs. Heeseung remains quiet when Riki doesn’t prod him further and looks back at the water in front of him. Even in the forced proximity, you still can’t figure out why he chooses to be avoidant. 

Heeseung, on the other hand, finds that there’s much to contemplate about. His life has barely begun and yet he feels the weight of his future hanging in the balance. He’s just moved into his first apartment and will need to furnish it when he gets back from the camping trip. He’s got a mattress with no bed frame and a single loveseat his parents gave him. Aside from his gaming setup, Heeseung’s one bedroom apartment is completely bare. 

Looking at it makes him worry for his future and being around you. You, someone he’s always assumed had it easy because you were academically gifted, makes Heeseung feel like he’s got to step up his game. He hasn’t liked you ever since high school for reasons he justifies as perfectly valid. But high school was years ago and some of his anger has subsided. All that’s left is a faint annoyance and he'd rather be anywhere than next to you. He only said yes to this trip because of the other people who were going as well. 

He’s kept his feelings simmering beneath the surface and chooses to focus on anything but you when he hears you talk. It’s frustrating enough knowing you share a lot of mutual friends, even worse when some of his best friends are people you consider family. He hates that Jake is comfortable enough to hang out with you without anyone else present and loathes that Sunghoon actively wants to become closer to you after he realized the two of you share the same taste in cinema. He especially despises the fact that Riki looks up to you even though, in Heeseung’s eyes, you’ve done nothing to earn it. 

The young teenager met the eldest of the bunch at a bonfire the third time he came to Korea after your mom had forced you to bring him along. You told him absolutely no alcohol no matter if anyone else was going to be drinking and to say no if your friends offered him a beer. He watched you that night, the way you periodically looked at your half-brother but made a lame attempt to include him in conversation. Riki found fast friends in Sunoo and Jungwon after messing around in the shallow waters of the ocean. Heeseung decided that you didn’t deserve that type of respect from Riki at that moment. 

It’s been years since then and he’s seen the two of you grow, albeit slowly. Even in his blind hatred for your existence, Heeseung has always wondered why Riki vies for your attention. In fact, what is it about you that makes everybody fawn over you? Why do you always seem to be the center of attention? Does nobody care about what you did to him all those years ago?

It keeps him up at night to know that nobody around him understands why he’s so angry at you. Above the root cause, you have everything you could ever want. You were the smartest girl in high school and university, and it was no question about what your future would look like. You’d accepted a job opportunity right after graduating and it seemed as though things were merely handed to you without you working that hard for it. You didn’t have to ask for anything. It always seemed as though people could read your mind and always gave you what you wanted. 

Maybe coming to the camping trip was a mistake. He’s been walking on eggshells around you this entire time and feels like he’s suffocating every time his friends laugh at your jokes. Heeseung bites his tongue when he feels himself getting worked up and finds that nothing can get his mind off of you no matter how hard he tries. 

He wonders if you remember that day all those years ago. He wonders if you know just how hurtful words can be and how awful it is to be on the receiving end of utter despair and desperation. Heeseung has always known you to be somebody who knows exactly what you want, too. Teenage angst never stopped you from pursuing higher education. It seemed like you threw everything you had into academics and everyone rewarding you for it made Heeseung want to crumble. Nobody else thought of you the way he did. 

But this is something he’d rather keep to himself. For as much as he refuses to be your friend, he knows nothing good will ever come out of trying to convince everyone you aren’t someone who they should be friends with. After all, you’ll be working in Okayama and with any luck, you’ll make a permanent residence out of Japan. 

Heeseung is distracted from his thoughts when Riki manages to catch a rather large fish. With your help, he’s able to reel it in and watches the younger boy become awestruck at its sheer size. Heeseung watches you congratulating Riki and celebrates this excitement with him as you put the fish in the bucket for safe keeping. It should warm his heart to see a friend of his so happy, but seeing you smiling next to him makes Heeseung feel all the more irritated. The three of you head back to the dock after another couple of hours and a few more dishes later.

Jungwon catches more fish than you do. All eight of you manage to acquire enough for dinner and breakfast in the morning. Jay and Jake have volunteered to help with cooking while the rest of you prepare side dishes and talk about fishing adventures from your time apart. You smile at the group halfway through the conversation, fondness blooming in your chest when everybody is laughing after having eaten dinner. 

“God, I swear I almost fell into the water trying to wrestle with the trout!” Jake shouts amongst the chaotic laughter. “It felt like I was about to become one with the fish.” 

“I almost pushed his ass into the lake,” Jay snorts. “It was so fucking funny.”

“I’m surprised Sunoo caught the most fish out of all of us.” Jungwon shrugs and bites into his s’more. 

“You’re telling me,” Sunoo replies as he wipes chocolate from his lip. “That’s my quota for this trip, though. Don’t expect me to go fishing again.” 

“I’m not ready for this trip to end,” Riki says with a mixed sigh. “We’ve already been here for a couple of days and it feels like time is going by so fast.” 

“I start that consulting job the Monday we go back and I’m excited for it, but I’m also nervous. It hit me on the way back from the lake.” Jay rubs his face with his hands. “This adult shit is scary, man.”

“Do you guys remember when we were all freshmen and had that awful orientation leader?” Heeseung asks. Those who were in the same year as him nod. “That felt like just yesterday and now we’re about to be real adults.”

“Jay’s going to become a financial consultant, you’re working at a record label, Sunghoon’s going to open up his own cafe someday, and I’m about to start a fellowship at a research lab.” Jake shakes his head like he can’t believe it. “Not to mention Y/N’s moving to Japan for work. If you told me four years ago we would talk about the future like this, I would’ve laughed.” 

“It feels a bit weird knowing we aren’t going back to school.” Sunghoon looks at the younger boys and laughs. “Well, sorry to you guys.” 

Sunoo speaks up with a pout. “It’ll be weird not seeing you guys around campus. I’ll miss running into you on my way to class.” 

“Sometimes I wish we could stay in college forever.” Jay reaches over and picks out another marshmallow to put on his stick. “It sucked ass but it was nice living close to you guys.”

“I’m scared to go out there alone.” You tug at the zipper on your jacket and stare at your hands. “I feel like I’m going to mess everything up and fail. I’ll come home and have nothing to show for myself.” 

“Couldn’t have said it any better.” Sunghoon finishes off his s’more and wipes the crumbs off of his lap. “I wish everything was simple and easy. We really had it good back then, didn’t we?”

“Don’t get too caught up in growing up too fast,” Jake says as he pinches Riki’s cheeks for dramatic effect. The latter tries to dodge his touch but fails. He points to Jungwon and Sunoo. “You guys need to make every minute count.”

Jungwon laughs. “You sound like a Hallmark card.”

“Yeah, but one day you’ll be saying the same thing. You’ll go back to campus and you won’t see us walking around.” Jungwon remains quiet after that. 

“You’ll all be fine.” Sunoo nods once and it feels like he’s smiling at everyone individually through the fire. “Life is scary but there’s a reason why we believe in you.”

Jay nudges Sunoo with his knee. “Since when did you get so wise?”

“You could learn a thing or two from me.”

The tension dissipates. Everyone finishes up their desserts and helps tidy up the campsite. Jake and Sunghoon put out the fire while the rest of you put the chairs away and throw out any leftover trash in the nearby garbage bin. One by one, the eight of you start to grow sleepier as time ticks by. You all let your younger friends wash up first as you stifle yawns and prepare your makeshift bedding while you wait. 

It feels like forever to wait with Heeseung close to you. Everybody else bids you goodnight as you brush your teeth in the wash station and rinse your face of dirt and debris from earlier in the day. Heeseung is standing just a few feet away as he waits for you to finish up but knowing he’s watching you makes your heart rate increase. Your hands tremble as you turn the faucet off and it’s just your luck that you trip over yourself and hold onto Heeseung when you turn around to exit the washroom. 

“Watch where you’re going, Y/N,” Heeseung snaps. He shrugs your hands off of him and pushes you away from his body. 

“What the fuck is your problem with me?” If Heeseung is surprised by your sudden outburst, he doesn’t show it. Your typically calm, non-confrontational demeanor is nowhere to be seen. 

“Why can’t you walk properly?” he mocks. 

“You have been so passive aggressive towards me this entire trip. Hell, you’ve been that way since we were in high school. What the fuck is your deal and why can’t you man up and tell me why you hate me so much?” 

His expression sours. “You have some nerve asking me that.” 

“Why?! You won’t tell me what your deal is and I can’t fix it if you don’t communicate that with me. We have so many mutual friends who want us to get along and it’s fine if we’ll never be friends, but really, Heeseung, you’re acting like a child.” 

Heeseung’s nostrils flare and it feels demeaning the way he has to look you down in order to meet your eyes. The twinge in your heart flares when he makes no effort to talk to you further. The tension in his shoulders rises and falls with every second that passes by and you’re starting to wonder if there’s any way you can leave the trip early. 

He doesn’t say anything, though. Heeseung pulls away from you and enters the washroom, leaving you alone with your thoughts and the sound of water running. Years of pushing aside your feelings for the greater good of preserving the peace feels like they’re suffocating you with every step you take as you talk back to your tent. The cold chill of the night bristles through your hair and your watery eyes make you stumble before unzipping your makeshift bedroom. 

“Y/N?” Jungwon asks, half-asleep. He sees you wipe your eyes as you turn away from him and put away your dirty clothes and toiletries. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing.” 

He pushes himself up and hears the clip in your tone. With his eyes softening, Jungwon gently touches your shoulder and realizes that your eyes are red before you shut your flashlight off. “Come here.” 

It’s somewhere between a command and a plea. Jungwon doesn’t force you to speak as he pulls your body into his. He doesn’t care that your tears are falling onto his arm and he doesn’t mind that you’ve settled your weight onto his chest. Your silent hiccups make his heart lurch and the best he can do is let you cling onto him in your time of need. 

You don’t get like this often. The last time he remembers you letting him hold you like this was a few days after your parents’ divorce had been finalized. The tangerine-shaped pillow you had was the only thing keeping Jungwon’s back from aching as you spent what felt like hours sobbing between his arms, dirtying his shirt with your hot tears. His heart broke back then, too. He’s not used to seeing you without a smile on your face and every crack in your demeanor lets him know you’re a dam that’s about to burst. 

It can’t be easy to live knowing your father willingly left and chose to leave you behind. Nearly two decades of saying ‘I love you’ and championing his only daughter to be the best version of herself felt like it was all for naught the night he told you he wouldn’t be living with you anymore. You could barely stand watching him pack his belongings and take everything valuable with him. You were unusually quiet during this period of time, too scared to make a sound and make things worse than they already were. 

Jungwon knows you keep your heart locked away in a cage these days. Your friends know you like the back of their hands but it’s been getting harder and harder to coax you out of your shell. He knows it hasn’t been easy with Heeseung within your main friend group and wishes he could do more to quell your anxieties about spending time with him, even if your other friends are there to shield you from his silent torment. 

Your best friend softens a bit when you cling onto his arm, holding him like he’s your lifeline. He pushes his fingers through your hair the way he’s seen your mom do countless times and rocks your body back and forth until you’ve started to calm down. He hears your shallow breaths and holds onto you for the fear that you’ll think he doesn’t want to comfort you if he lets you go. 

“Sorry.” Your voice is brittle and it makes his heart break. 

“You never have to be sorry, Bug. Are you okay?” You shake your head. “Is it something one of us did?” You nod. “Was it Heeseung?” He hates that you start to tear up again. “I’m sorry, Bug. I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t understand why he doesn’t like me,” you hiccup. “I don’t know what I did. How can I apologize when I don’t know what I’ve done?” 

Jungwon sighs. He’s with you on this one. “You’re right. I don’t know what’s gotten into him recently but I’m fed up with it too.” 

“We don’t need to be friends but I want him to stop pretending like I ruined his life.” Your best friend nods against you and pushes his cheek against the crown of your head. “Sorry that I woke you up. I feel like a mess.”

“You’re not a mess, Bug. You’ve been tied together with a smile for so long. It’s only natural that you break down every once in a while.”

“You’re very smart, Wonnie.” 

He laughs. “I know. Do you want to cry some more or go to sleep?” Jungwon’s tone lacks any humor tonight. He’s concerned about you in a way that makes you feel like a porcelain doll and while you appreciate it when he pokes fun at you to show how comfortable he is with you, this feels just as nice. 

“I’m ready to sleep.” 

You pull away from him and settle in your sleeping bag, welcoming the calmness that washes over you. Jungwon chooses to stay up just a smidge longer until he’s certain that you’re asleep before he closes his eyes, wishing for better days ahead of you.

***

The trees always seemed taller when you were younger. They stretched for miles and touched the sky from your point of view, almost as if they  could reach the heavens above. You always wondered what it must be like to have lived as long as nature around you. The leaves and branches see all walks of life, from humans to animals, and keep many secrets hidden underneath its shaded areas. It almost feels like they whisper stories back to you when the wind shakes the weakest branches. You always try to listen. 

When you find yourself hiking on another path around the lake, it becomes easier for you to clear your mind and think about all that lies before you. The sounds of birds chirping amongst the blue sky make the environment around you seem picturesque. In all of your ears camping here, you don’t think you’ve ever appreciated it the way you are at this very moment. 

Your friends are scattered in front and behind you, each of them wrapped up in their own conversations. You can feel Jungwon look at you periodically but you silently let him know that you’re doing alright. He worries about you a lot and he has every reason to. Sometimes, you wonder if any part of you is holding him back because he spends so much time looking after you. It used to be the other way around with you watching after him at playgrounds and on your walk home from school. But with your father leaving as soon as you started trying to figure out who you were, it was like a switch had flipped. 

Your best friend has had a few girlfriends here and there but none of them ever lasted long. He reminds you that he’s young and isn’t looking for a life partner at this stage in his life, but you know he worries about you ever since the news of your dad leaving and Riki entering your life turned your world upside down. You wonder if you’re causing him too much stress. 

He always reminds you that you’re the reason he has so many people that he loves. You introduced him to the majority of your friends on this camping trip. You were the one who introduced him to his first girlfriend and why he finds so much hope in all of the small things. Jungwon admires your resilience and ability to stand on your feet after you’ve been knocked to the ground by an unseen force. Your tenacity pushes him to be a better person towards others and to himself, and he’ll remind you every chance he gets. Jungwon believes that you’re okay for now. You know he’ll be there to pick up the pieces if you need him to.

It brings you back to your future and how Jungwon won’t be physically present when you move to Japan. You’ve spent so much time with him and it made you happy when he was accepted into his bachelor program at your university. The two of you have always been close, whether it was because neither of you had siblings and found solace in each another or because of forced proximity from being neighbors, you don’t know. It feels like you’ll be saying goodbye to somebody who you’ve always leaned on. It feels like you’re leaving him the way your dad left you. 

Dealing with the overwhelming guilt of moving to Okayama, the city your father moved to when he left you and your mom, digs a hole deep inside of your chest every time you think about it. It’s probably why you push off discussions about moving whenever you can and change the subject when other people bring it up. You try not to get too irritated whenever your mom talks to you about packing and everything else that’s important when settling in a new country, like a work visa or financial burdens. But every conversation with her about your eventual move feels like a million needles are slowly pricking your skin. Every step feels heavier than the next. 

There’s Heeseung, too, who has been plaguing your mind ever since you awoke. It’s not unlike him to be cold towards you. In fact, you’ve dealt with tuning him out and learned to ignore his quiet scoffs, paying attention to anyone who would give you some of their attention. The accumulation of life stress and the inevitable move has made it so your heart rate can’t seem to be still at any time in the day. Heeseung doesn’t make it any better by snapping at you for treading carefully. This feeling reminds you of the time you tiptoed around your father when you found out about his infidelity being the reason why he chose to leave you and your mother for Okayama. It feels like anticipating a bomb going off. It’s never a matter of if, but when. 

You don’t remember when things changed but you remember it was abrupt and unannounced. One day, the two of you were laughing with bologna sandwiches for lunch and the next, Heeseung was ignoring you like the two of you had never been friends. His stare was just as cold as his tone when speaking. You could never catch his eye when you were with your group of friends and he refused to be alone with you. The hurt that came with his actions felt like a punch in the gut with all you were dealing with back home. 

The reason why it was easy to tune out his friendship was purely because of prioritization. Dealing with empty rooms and the house feeling like a ghost was haunting the walls was by far a greater sadness than losing a friend. But even so, seeing Heeseung laugh with your friends and watching him excel in everything you used to support him in made you feel like you were being left behind. It hurt to attend his basketball games because he no longer looked for your eyes in the stands. He didn’t acknowledge you when your group of friends would head to the nearby diner for a celebratory meal, and he didn’t call you to say goodnight and to thank you for coming to his games and open practices anymore. 

The ghost of your friendship lingered over you like an unwanted guest. It followed you into university after you committed to the same one and it seemed like neither of you could escape one another. Seeing him live a life that you weren’t a part of made your reality sink in–the few years he spent distancing himself from you wasn’t merely a fluke or teenage angst. Heeseung wanted nothing to do with you. You had to learn how to be okay with that. 

Still, you wish you were as tall as the trees around you. Maybe then Heeseung would tell you why he didn’t like you anymore. 

“Y/N, watch out!” 

The warning nearly comes too late. You don’t register a hissing sound until you see a reflection of scales and stumble backwards into somebody who seems to be caught off guard as much as you are. Jake’s warning saved you from a nasty bite from a snake that has slithered away back between the trees but your heart stammers in your chest as you curl yourself further deeper into the person behind you. 

You hate snakes. You’re petrified of them 

Heeseung, to his misfortune, is the person you’ve bumped into. He saw the snake just before Jake said his warning and felt his body freeze in the way yours didn’t. He didn’t have time to move aside and let Sunoo, who he was talking to, move to grab your body and pull you out of harm’s way. He feels your beating chest against his and looks down at you. Heeseung doesn’t think he’s ever seen you like this before. It makes his stomach fall. 

“Y/N is really scared of snakes,” Jungwon says as he walks up to the two of you, offering a quick explanation before Heeseung could say anything about you clinging onto him. “She got bit by one as a kid and it scared her pretty bad.” Heeseung doesn’t push you away. Instead, he lets Jungwon pry you off of his body until you’re able to blink and come to your senses. 

“Sorry.” You throw an apology his way when Jungwon rubs your back. The rest of your friends, who seem to know about your fear, try to give you some space instead of crowding around you. A part of him wants to scoff. The other part of him feels bad for you. It almost makes him feel guilty for being so short with you last night.

“We’re almost at the end of the trail anyway,” Jungwon says. “Let’s finish it and get some lunch.” 

When you all arrive back at the campsite, Jake pulls your water bottle out of your backpack and stands with you while Jungwon lets you stand right beside him in an attempt to calm yourself down. Jay and Sunghoon, not wanting to impede and make things uncomfortable, decide to go on another short hike and let you rest. The sight is a bit unnerving for Heeseung, who has generally only ever thought of you as this self righteous, confident person, to see you in such a state of shock that you could barely look him in the eye like you did the night before. He’s used to you avoiding and ignoring him but he isn’t accustomed to you scurrying away from anything or anyone. 

He’s a bit confused as to why he feels a little guilty for how he spoke to you last night. You were his friend before he decided you weren’t and that feeling of concern is starting to creep back in. Heeseung watches the way you flinch when Jake tries to rub your shoulder and how Jungwon is the only person who seems to know how to get you to relax after the snake incident. 

“Is she really that scared of snakes?” Heeseung asks Sunoo, who stands away from you to give you space. He pretends to be busy picking at his nails to let you have peace and not make you feel overcrowded with two of your friends already by your side. 

“If I tell you, are you going to use that against her?” Sunoo doesn’t typically question Heeseung like this. It startles him but he shakes his head anyway. 

“No,” says Heeseung. “I’m not. I’ve never seen her act like that.”

Sunoo must think the elder is telling the truth. “When Y/N was very young, a snake bit her ankle when her parents weren’t looking. She got scared and tripped over a rock or something, and her entire leg started to bleed and got a pretty bad gash from it. They rushed her to the emergency room and panicked because her leg was covered in blood.”

“That’s it?”

Sunoo glares at Heeseung. “It might not seem like a big deal to you, but that kind of stuff leaves an impression on you when you’re a kid, Heeseung. She’s been pretty terrified of snakes and blood ever since.” 

“Huh. I never knew that.”

“Don’t go barking up that tree. It’s bad enough that you hate her for no good reason.” 

Heeseung looks at Sunoo quizzically when he hears his friend’s harsh tone. “What’s the matter with you?” 

Sunoo scoffs. “Me? What’s the matter with you? I heard you and Y/N last night. You were an ass to her. She’s right, too. How can she apologize for hurting you if you never talk about what she did? 

“Sunoo–”

“Save it, Heeseung.” He straightens his posture. “You’re my friend and I love you, but you’ve been really harsh on Y/N for the past few years. I thought the two of you drifted apart but you clearly have a vendetta against her.”

“I do not have a vendetta against Y/N.”  

“Sure. Whatever you say. Just remember that Y/N’s the reason why you’re on this trip. One veto from her and Jungwon would’ve kicked your ass to the curb. You’re lucky she doesn’t say this shit to anyone.” 

Heeseung looks at his shoes, feeling the heat in his body creep up his neck. He knows Sunoo’s somewhat right. You’re half the reason why this trip exists at all. Even if Jungwon brought the friend group along, it’s you who this campaign tradition belongs to as well. Heeseung bites his tongue and tries his best not to argue with Sunoo. Deep down, the elder knows that he’s been a bit harsh to you and sometimes finds himself regretting the venom he aims directly at you. But then he remembers that incident from all those years ago and feels his anger bubble up inside of him. He pulls his friend away so that none of you hear him. 

“I have a reason not to like her okay?” Heeseung whispers through his teeth. 

“What reason could you possibly have that justifies how shitty you’ve been?”

Heeseung looks around like he’s afraid someone’s listening in. “Second semester, sophomore year of high school. You and Jake were with me doing homework right outside the front gate. We were waiting for my brother to pick us up from school when Y/N told Kim Chaewon that I would never amount to anything because I didn’t have any talent and had to flirt with girls to get them to listen to my music.”

Sunoo looks at Heeseung like he’s sprouted a second head, who looks at the younger boy like he’s waiting for confirmation or validation of sorts with his eyebrows raised as if expecting a certain outcome. Instead, Sunoo slaps him on the back of his head with his palm and scowls. 

“You are so stupid, Heeseung.”

“What the fuck did I do?!” Heeseung soothes the spot where Sunoo hit him. “It was messed up for her to say that. Why are you calling me stupid?”

“Y/N didn’t say that about you. Chaewon did.” 

Heeseung’s eyes grow comically wide. “I know what I heard.” 

“No, you don’t. I remember the moment you’re talking about. You left so fast and didn’t stop when Jake and I called out for you. Chaewon couldn't get another word out because Y/N tore her a new one. Why do you think they aren’t friends anymore?” 

“Well…Because Y/N said that about me. Chaewon was my friend, too.” 

Sunoo shakes his head. “Chaewon said that about you. Not Y/N.”

“That’s not possible…”

“How would you know? You weren’t there. You left before you could hear the full argument.” 

“Sunoo,” Heeseung says, voice quivering from a mixture of guilt and embarrassment. “Please tell me that’s not true.” 

“Do you know how stupid you look knowing you blew off Y/N, the person who defended you, and still talked to Chaewon?” Sunoo shakes his head at Heeseung. “You ended your longest friendship over a misunderstanding and then got closer with the person who actually said those things about you. Imagine how Y/N must’ve felt.” 

Heeseung’s mind starts to recount the days after your argument with Chaewon and how he’d gone out of his way to ignore you in the aftermath. He never gave you an explanation about his absence and why he pulled away, citing that incident as the reason why you didn’t deserve to know in the first place. He thinks about Chaewon and how he didn’t think twice about it because his mind had already been made up. He was still friends with Chaewon, taking pictures with her at parties and talking to her whenever their friend groups hung out together. Not once did he spare a glance to you. 

As his mind starts to wander into nostalgic territory, Heeseung feels his stomach plummet. The sudden urge to rectify his actions overwhelms him and he’s fighting tooth and nail not to cry on the spot. 

When he looks at you now, quiet and hidden within your shared friends, Heeseung can’t help but feel a bit guilty. He suddenly remembers the few moments where you showed a vulnerable side of yourself and allowed him to see you cry after a bad grade or when your middle school friends were being mean towards you. Heeseung recalls all the times he’s ever thought of you as somebody who puts on a brave face and stands back up after feeling the weight of the world crush you to the ground. He thinks about all of the times he’s ever made you feel insignificant to him and feels pins and needles in his footsteps. Heeseung finds himself walking towards you as he’s contemplating his feelings and Jungwon guards you, pushing you behind him. 

“Hey,” Heeseung says awkwardly. He tries to peek at you but doesn’t like seeing you look so helpless. Pathetically, he offers a meek apology. “Sorry about the snake.” 

“It’s fine. Sorry I grabbed you.” For the first time in a long time, Heeseung doesn’t feel annoyed by the thought of you latching onto him. 

“It’s okay. I, uh…wanted to know if you were fine.” Heeseung clears his throat. “Is there anything I can do?” His unfamiliar kindness confuses you and it confuses Jungwon too.

“You know, maybe it would be a good idea if you left the campsite for a while,” Jake suggests from beside Heeseung. “You’re a bit shaken up and you could probably use a change of scenery.” 

“That’s not a bad idea, actually,” Jungwon agrees. “You could leave for a few hours and come back once you’ve calmed down, Bug.” 

You pick at your fingernails. “I feel so stupid for being so scared.”

“It’s not stupid, Y/N.” Jake tilts his head and looks at you with a pout. “It’s something you’re scared of and with good reason. I would’ve been scared shitless if it was closer to me.”

“You could go into town and get some ice cream,” says Jungwon. “You should go to the beach by the highway for a little bit and get your mind off of it.” 

“I-I don’t really want to go alone.”

Heeseung speaks before he can even think about what he’s saying.

“I’ll go with you.” Jungwon and Jake whip their head to their friend. 

“Heeseung–”

“I can drive us,” he says, mouth moving faster than his brain. “I won’t say anything, I swear. I’ll take her to the beach and ice cream if she wants to.” 

Jungwon hesitantly looks at Heeseung. “Are…Are you sure?” 

“Yeah.” He lies straight through his teeth. He doesn’t know if he can sit with you when his whole life has been turned upside down. But it’s too late to backtrack. “I’ve been feeling a little restless here anyway.” 

“I don’t know…”

“Jay isn’t here and he has his keys.” Jake looks at you and nudges your shoulder. “What do you want to do, Y/N?” 

You look up at Heeseung for the first time and he sucks in a breath. It’s like you’re devoid of yourself, fear and anxiety clouding your eyes like you’re petrified to even speak. He watches you lick your lips slowly as if contemplating carefully. “I want to go.”

“Bug, you don’t have to.”

“I know, Wonnie.” You touch his arm and he relents. “I think I need to leave for a little bit and calm down. I should walk on the beach, or something.”

“I can come with you guys.” Riki, who has been silent during this ordeal, speaks up and appears to the other side of Heeseung. “I saw the beach just before we got here. It looks pretty.” 

“That’s a good idea,” Jake nods, looking at you. He softens his tone. “Would that be alright with you?” 

You hum .”Mhm. Yeah, that’s fine. Let me get my wallet.” 

When you leave for your tent, Jungwon looks at Heeseung and stares at him with an expression he can’t read. The silence is deafening and he awkwardly coughs, looking away from his younger friend. 

“Don’t fuck this up,” says Jungwon with a clipped tone. “You’ve been a dipshit and she’s been putting up with it for the sake of everybody else. The last thing she needs is for you to make fun of her and make her feel even worse than she already does.” 

“I won’t, Jungwon. I swear.” 

“I’m choosing to trust you because you’re my friend too, despite everything you feel towards Y/N.” He nods at Riki. “You, keep an eye out for them.”

“I won’t do or say anything,” Heeseung promises for a second time. You come back a moment later, oblivious to the tension. 

“Be safe, yeah?” Heeseung hears the change in Jungwon’s tone when talking to you. “Call me if you need anything. Your phone’s charged from the portable, right?”

“Yeah.” You hold up your phone to show him. “I’ll let you know when we’re coming back.” 

The beach itself is nestled towards the end of the highway where the sand meets the trees. The small shops around it bring a sense of nostalgia, especially when Heeseung parks in front of a large, tattered orange sign that says “ICE CREAM SOLD HERE.” The three of you walk inside and Heeseung watches you look over the flavors. 

“They change the flavors all the time based on the season,” you say absentmindedly. The three of you are the only customers and he figures the employee must be in the back. 

It’s a bit strange to be spending time with you apart from everybody else. Even though Riki’s accompanying the two of you, he hasn't been alone with you like this in years. You seem to be doing a little better with distance put between you and the campsite. Heeseung hopes the drive wasn’t too terrible. His knuckles turned white with the grip he had on the steering wheel, too afraid to look into the rearview mirror for the fear of catching your eye. He wonders if you’d be able to read his mind in the way you once did. 

You make small talk with the owner of the shop who recognizes you before ordering. Riki and Heeseung follow too, the youngest trying a few flavors before settling on one. You go to pay for your own until Riki pulls out his wallet and pays for the both of you. Heeseung watches the two of you argue before the owner accepts Riki’s card. He’s pulled out of his thoughts before paying for his own cup. 

The beach is right next door and the three of you leave your shoes inside Heeseung’s trunk before stepping onto the warm sand. The sun’s high in the sky and Heeseung’s grateful that he chose to put on extra sunblock before leaving his tent. Riki follows you towards the water. He chooses to stay behind and give you both space even though his heart is telling him not to. 

Heeseung has always believed in telling the truth because it’ll always see the light at the end of the day. He’s a fan of honesty and it’s something he values in all of his friends. He thought he’d found that in you ever since the day the two of you started becoming friends and felt his world shatter around him when he thought you were making fun of his aspirations to become a music producer. You’d spent countless hours in his bedroom with him as he learned how to use proper equipment and went so far as to buy him a few things here and there disguised as birthday and Christmas gifts. You spent so much time listening to him grow as a musician in the comfort of his bedroom. The thought that you were pretending to care about him made Heeseung feel sick to his stomach. It wasn't hard for him to cut you off when he thought you betrayed him.

But now, life feels like it’s at a stand still. You stand before him and Heeseung’s throat closes up like he’s lost the ability to breathe. You might not even know that you’re the reason for his inner turmoil. You probably don’t care. Why would you when he’s pushed you so far from arm’s length? Heeseung sighs to himself and replays every single interaction he’s ever had with you after deciding to cut you out of his life. The guilt piles up on him before he can stop it from stacking until it eventually makes his skin feel like it’s been set on fire. He’ll have to sit with the fact that he’s made you out to be a cruel, terrible friend instead of the person who would defend him to hell and back.

What must you think of him now? For a long time, it took Heeseung great strength to push you into the far corners of his mind and stop seeking you out whenever you were near him. He trained himself to look away from you, the weight of your alleged words playing in the back of his mind whenever he felt the urge to talk to you like old times. Heeseung stopped communicating with you altogether, unfollowing you on all of your social media and physically removing you out of his life so he wouldn’t have to see your face when he least expected it. 

But now it feels like the last six years of his life have been a lie. He’s been living in his own world, wrapped up in a delusion that only he was able to clearly see. The memory was too painful to say out loud let alone tell a soul. Heeseung kept his heart guarded and offered a brief explanation whenever your mutual friends asked why the two of you weren’t close anymore and he’d shut you down if you tried to talk to him until your efforts ceased. 

When he looks at you now, all he feels is regret. 

Riki walks back towards Heeseung, who’s perched on a bench right on the sand. His ice cream is discarded in the nearby trash can and Riki eats whatever’s left in his cup before tossing it away. The two of them sit in silence. Riki basks in the salt air and relishes in the sound of birds chirping and waves crashing onto the shore. Heeseung can only hear his heart beating in his ears. 

“She’s doing okay,” Riki says, breaking the silence. “I think her shock and adrenaline are wearing off.” 

“Good,” Heeseung nods. “That’s really good.” 

“I could tell she wanted to be left alone after a little while. I hope she’ll be fine when we go back.” 

“I’m sure she will be.” 

Riki nods and looks back at you. “Have you ever seen her get like that?” 

“Maybe once or twice. We stopped being close in high school.” 

“Oh, yeah. Right.” 

“But she always bounced back,” Heeseung adds quickly. “Like you said, she’ll be fine.”

“I didn’t even know she was scared of snakes.” 

Heeseung laughs. “Me either.” The silence permeates until Heeseung speaks again. “Can I ask you a question?” 

“Since when have you ever asked me if you could ask me something?” 

“Fair point.” Heeseung rubs his palms against his thighs. “I don’t really know where to start.”

“The beginning is usually the best place.” 

“You know how I feel about Y/N. How I felt about her. I told you so many times to stop expecting people to treat you the way you want to be treated if they didn’t put in the effort to make you feel welcomed.” Heeseung looks at the younger boy. “Why did you keep defending?” 

“Are you asking me because you’re worried about Y/N or because you have some weird thing with her?” 

“I’m asking because I’m starting to think I was wrong about her.” Riki must think Heeseung is telling the truth because he nods after a moment. 

“How much do you know about Y/N’s family life?”

“I know she has a mom and that Jungwon’s parents are like her own. I also know her parents got divorced and that her dad left just before she graduated high school.” 

“Right.” Riki coughs nervously. “How much do you know about our relationship?” 

“You two are half-siblings.” 

“That’s all?” 

Heeseung shrugs. “I never questioned it.” 

“Okay, yeah. That makes sense.” Riki looks down at his lap like he’s trying to figure out what to say. “I don’t really know if this is my place to say it but I want you to know so you can stop thinking Y/N’s the Devil.” 

“I don’t think she’s the Devil.” 

Riki chuckles. “Sure. To put it simply, she's my half-sister because her dad cheated on her mom with mine. He’d go on business trips to Japan a few times a year and they hit it off after they met. One thing led to another and they started meeting up whenever he was back in town. 

“They had me a year after they first started their affair and I guess he was able to keep his life in Japan a secret until Y/N found pictures on her dad’s laptop. She saw pictures of us on vacations when her dad was supposed to be on work trips. I think she told her mom about it and that’s around the time I found out he had another family too.” 

“What was going through your head back then?” 

“Well, my mom told me my dad had to live in Korea for work. I believed it until I was seven, maybe? I’d always ask her questions as I got older but she either brushed me off or told me things that didn’t add up. He’d come more frequently the older I got. We didn’t talk on the phone much when he was over in Korea, though, so seeing him in person used to be extra special. 

“Then I found out that he had an affair because he came to live with us full time when I was twelve. My mom told me everything when he moved in and I felt like my entire life was a lie. I couldn’t look at either of them the same.” 

“Wow…I can’t imagine going through that.” Heeseung’s words hang in the air. 

“Yeah. It was hard. I hated Y/N for a while. I hated that she got to see my dad more than I did when I found out. My friends used to make fun of me because he wasn’t around for my dance competitions and showcases. I always defended him and said he was working in Korea to make a better life for us. It’s what I believed at the time.” 

“And your mom let you believe all of that?”

Riki shrugs. “I guess so. She hated Y/N and her mom. She always talked down on them when my dad moved in and I felt that my anger was justified too. My mom hated the fact that my dad still wanted to keep Y/N in his life and wouldn’t fully abandon her the way he did hid with his ex-wife. Some of his paycheck would go towards Y/N’s college fund and my mom tried everything in her power to stop him from giving her money but he gave her an ultimatum, so she stopped complaining. 

“He took me to Korea once. I was fourteen, I think. I met my dad’s parents and we stayed with them for a while. I don’t know why he took me there since I could barely speak the language but he said he wanted me to get to know where he grew up and integrate myself in the culture since he was trying to be a present father. That was the first time I met Y/N. I had my mind made up and decided I hated her the first time I saw her. She couldn’t have been older than seventeen. I hated that she looked just like me. 

“When we met for the first time, we didn’t really get along. Both of us didn’t talk and our dad tried so hard to form a bond between us but it didn’t work. I didn’t want anything to do with her because all I could think about was how she got to spend so much time with him while I only got to see him for a week or so a few times a year.” 

“What made you change your mind?” Heeseung asks. 

“When we got back to Japan, my mom kept saying all of these mean things about Y/N and her family,” Riki continues. “I wasn’t her biggest fan but the stuff she was saying was cruel and untrue. I knew it was pure jealousy and realized that my mom helped break up a perfectly good family. I mean, I knew it was my dad’s fault for cheating on his wife and leaving Y/N also, but coming to that realization made me think about how Y/N must’ve felt when she found out.”

“Wow…I didn’t know any of this.”

“As far as I can tell, Jungwon’s the only person she’s told.” Riki sighs and pushes his fingers through his hair. “Anyway, at that point, neither one of us cared to keep the relationship going. I didn’t call her and she didn’t call me. But the more my parents started living their lives like they hadn’t made two people fall apart, the more I started to feel sorry for Y/N. I can’t imagine finding out your dad cheated on your mom and then willingly left you for another family. Our dad brought me back to Korea a few times after that for winter and summer breaks to stay with his parents. He said he wanted me to experience life abroad. He’d bring me to family events and I always felt so out of place.”

“Wait, seriously?” Heeseung asks in disbelief. 

“Yeah, if you can believe it. I felt so guilty coming to these things. It was actually Y/N’s mom who told her to start being more open to me. I can’t explain how awful I felt when I realized she was making an effort to include me even though I was someone from her ex-husband’s affair. When my dad was trying to get back in everyone’s good graces, Y/N’s mom was making sure I had enough food and water.

“I slowly started to realize that Y/N was hurting too. She had everything I wanted but it felt like I was the one who took that away from her. I thought, maybe if my mom wasn’t pregnant with me, her dad would’ve never continued the affair and she would’ve never found out he cheated.”

“That’s why you defend her, isn’t it? Even when I thought she was being unfair?” 

Riki laughs. “Yeah, man. I’ve known about her longer than she’s known me and I’ve known about the affair longer than she has. I’ve had more time to get used to it. I don’t blame her for pushing me away. If I found out I had a half-sibling because my dad cheated on my mom, I think I’d react the same way.” Heeseung’s heart feels much heavier than it did prior to this conversation. “We’ve been getting better. She texts me first every now and then and she keeps up with my dancing stuff. It’s not like we’re total strangers anymore. I mean, she likes me enough to let me be friends with you guys. It’ll just take some time.”

“Do you want her to be in your life? And do you want to be in hers?” 

Heeseung watches Riki nod without a second doubt. “Absolutely. I love Y/N now. She’s my sister even if she only thinks of me as her half-brother. I know we’ve had it rough in the past but she looks out for me. Y/N’s smart and confident in all the ways I wish I could be. I love listening to her talk and I love learning new things about her. I always wished for a sibling and even though this isn’t how I imagined it going, I’m happy.” 

The two of them sit in another round of silence. Heeseung does his best to process everything Riki has just told him but it feels like there’s too much information for him to digest all at once. He never knew any of this about you, too caught up in his own feelings about the misunderstanding. While he was giving you the cold shoulder, you were crumbling apart because your dad left for another family. If he knew any of this back then, Heeseung thinks he would be sympathetic. But he can’t turn back the clock. He watches you stand by the water with your empty ice cream up in your hands and wonders what you’re thinking about. 

“Wait,” Heeseung says, cutting the silence for the umpteenth time. “You’re from Okayama.” Riki nods. “You’ve lived in Okayama until you moved here.” 

“Yeah, that’s right.” 

“And Y/N’s moving to Okayama for work.” Riki nods solemnly. “You’re telling me Y/N’s moving to the city your dad moved to when he left her?” The younger boy nods again. “Shit.”

“With everything going on in her life, I don’t expect her to have it all figured out. Sure, it hurt when she didn’t want to spend time with me but I don’t think I can really be mad at her when this is how her life is. Okayama is a big city but the world is pretty small.”

“That’s fucked up. That’s really, really fucked up.” 

“I’m pretty sure she’s scared about running into our dad. Lord knows I came to study in Korea because I didn’t want to be around him anymore,” Riki scoffs. “I know that I have my own shit to deal with and that I’ll probably need to find a therapist when I start school but for now, I’ll focus on Y/N. I’m happy she let me come on this trip because I know how much camping with Jungwon means to her. I can somewhat empathize with her about moving to a place that didn’t feel like home because of your dad.” 

Heeseung looks at Riki and doesn’t expect him to look as tranquil as he does, but he looks at you like you’re the person giving him this grace and maturity. “Fuck, Riki. I’m really sorry that you had to deal with this. Do the other guys besides Jungwon know?”

“Not as much as you do, they just know something happened with my parents and that’s why I don’t want to go back to Okayama. I don’t think Y/N’s told anybody else, so please don’t tell her you know.”

“I won’t,” Heeseung promises. “I swear on it.” 

“Good. I trust you and you’ve been a good friend to me.” 

“Sorry for giving you a hard time about her too.” 

“It’s fine now. Just…promise me you won’t be so harsh on her. She’s been through a lot and I can tell she’s really not happy about the move even though the job opportunity is really good for her career.” 

“Of course.” 

You walk back towards them and the two boys stand up and pretend as if they weren’t speaking in depth about you. Heeseung, for the first time, smiles at you without restraint and it makes you feel confused as you shake off the sand and head back into his car. 

On the entire drive back to the campsite, Heeseung lets Riki control the music and thinks about their previous conversation. He had no idea this is what you were dealing with and always thought you stopped talking to him because you didn’t think it was worth being friends either. He doesn’t remember much about the last few years of high school, apart from avoiding you when you were around, but now he wishes he would’ve paid more attention. Even though what’s past is past, Heeseung wishes he could turn back time and stop himself from making a false assumption. 

He parks the car sooner than he realizes and Riki hands Heeseung back his phone. You step out of the car and look far better than you did before the impromptu trip. Heeseung can’t help but jog after you. 

“Hey,” he calls out. You’re pulled out of your thoughts when you hear his voice and look at him, perplexed. “Are you feeling better now?” 

“Um, yeah.” You look at Heeseung like you don’t know what he wants from you and he’s starting to hate that he’s made you feel this way for so long. 

“Good. That’s good.” Heeseung clears his throat. “I, uh, wanted to apologize for what I said to you last night. That was out of line. I’m really sorry.” The gears turn in your head and he can see you processing his apology slowly. 

“Yeah, well, if you have a problem with me then you should either tell me why or leave me alone.” Your words lack any venom like they did last night but they’re replaced with something more raw and callous. He almost wishes you would yell at him. 

“I know.” He really does. “But I really am sorry. For everything.” Heeseung can’t find the words to elaborate how he feels, not when he sees your shared friends in front of him. 

You look at him and he feels like you might as well be looking into his soul. Without another word, you leave him with his thoughts and rejoin the rest of the group. 

***

It’s nearing the end of the trip and Heeseung feels like he needs to get you alone to apologize for a million things. Guilt courses through his body when he’s awake and it only ceases when he’s asleep. He does his best to keep a straight face when he’s around everybody else and he’s sure they’re all picking up on the fact that he hasn’t been avoiding you like he did when you all first arrived. 

But it’s hard to get you alone. He knows you likely wouldn’t hear him out if he asked you to talk. Even so, he doesn’t know if he knows everything he wants to say. Heeseung is sure everyone else will want to know why he asked to talk to you and make a big deal out of it too, but he can’t say he blames them when he’s the one who has put so much tension between the two of you. Being nicer towards you with intention is not normal for Heeseung. He wishes that weren’t the case. 

It’s a warm day outside and everybody’s agreed to go kayaking in the lake. The water is calm and there are a few families and groups who’ve decided to do the same thing. Everybody fastens life vests and hops into their own kayak before setting out on the water. 

Heeseung wants to enjoy being out on the water but his mind keeps coming back to you. He wonders deeply about the past he shares with you and what would’ve been if he hadn’t made those assumptions all those years ago. He knows he’s always been a bit too prideful for his own good, putting himself above the opinions of others without thinking twice. He’s got tough skin and likes that he’s developed a sense of confidence and identity, especially because he wants to pursue a career in music, but now he wonders if he’s too confident. 

The reason why your words hurt more than he’d care to admit is because he harbored a pathetic crush on you ever since you wrote him a letter for his thirteenth birthday. He’d just gotten the hang of making music on GarageBand and by the time his birthday rolled around, Heeseung wanted to show some of his friends what he’d been learning after school. October came quickly and he invited his closest friends to his house for some cake and to jump in the large bouncy house his parents rented for him. The warm afternoon is forever etched into his memory because everyone Heeseung cared about in his first year being a teenager was there to support the beginning of his music interest. 

Heeseung remembers the gift he unwrapped from you and your parents. It was a CD of his favorite album and one of those plastic statues with an award title etched into the base. It read “BEST MUSIC PRODUCER” on it and Heeseung thought it was the best gift he received that year. What made that warm afternoon even more special was when you pulled him aside to give him a handwritten note. He remembers your shy voice telling him not to open it until everybody was gone and said you wanted to give the letter to him in private when nobody else was looking because your parents didn’t know you’d done this. He kept that card on his desk until everybody left, promising to read it as soon as he was alone. 

You wrote to his yearning heart, the side of him that wanted to make music so badly that he’d sit in his room until the late hour with a lamp shining over his desk to write songs until his hand hurt from holding his pen. Heeseung would hunch over his desk during school and scribble down lyrics in the margins of his assignments. It always felt like he was the only person who felt this way most times and felt like his peers couldn’t understand why he loved making music so much. Reading your letter made Heeseung feel less alone, as if you were always watching over him and seeing his passion when he thought nobody else could. 

That note alone solidified his blooming crush and suddenly, every love song he wrote was dedicated to you. Details about you were weaved into his songs–the sound you made when you laughed, the stickers you used to collect, and the number on your childhood home–it all became important to him. It was almost like Heeseung could talk to you through his music without saying a single word. He could let his songs do the talking for him. 

Of course, thinking you were the one who said he didn’t have any real talent made his hopes and dreams shatter into a million pieces. He always felt like your champion and that pursuing his passion wasn’t so scary if he had you by his side. The world felt like it was crashing all around him to the point where he considered giving up on making music altogether. For that, he would never forgive you. But it’s different now. Heeseung knows you’re not to blame. The culpability doesn’t lie on your shoulders, even if that’s what Heeseung thought for all these years. 

Heeseung roams around the lake in silence, letting the birds chirp uninterrupted. The sound of his boat sailing against the water beneath him does something to soothe his aching heart for the time being. He sees you not too far ahead with Sunghoon a bit behind you when he sees you reach for the paddle that fell from your grip. His heart stops when your kayak tips over when you've reached too far. 

He wastes no time and rows his boat with all his might after hearing your yelp. His arms burn as he pushes through the water but before he can get any closer to you, Sunghoon has jumped out of his kayak to help you back to the surface. He’s able to drag you to the shore nearby and takes off your life jacket when the two of you are sitting on the edge of dry land. Heeseung manages to haul your kayak and paddle while Jay, who also saw the incident, grabs Sunghoon’s. The two of them wordlessly make their way to you and Sunghoon.

Heeseung sees and hears you coughing but he’s also aware of the fact that you’re situated between Sunghoon’s arms. He’s got you securely wrapped between him as you regain your breath. It’s selfish to even consider the idea that he might be jealous but he can’t help it, especially since you’re gripping onto his arms like he’s your lifeline. 

“Shit, Y/N,” Jay says as he takes his life jacket off. Heeseung does the same and parks his boat to get out of the water. “Are you okay?”

“Mhm,” you mutter, catching your breath from the water that’s still lodged in your throat. “Jesus, I didn’t think that would happen.”

“You gave me a heart attack.” Sunhoon laughs from behind you but doesn’t push you away just yet. Heeseung watches you.

“I got your boat and paddle,” he says pathetically, feeling awkward when the three of you look at him. “I’m glad you’re okay.” 

“Thanks.” You cough when you speak and Sunghoon rubs your back gently. “Why does this shit keep happening to me?” 

“Maybe Heeseung’s bad luck,” Sunghoon snickers. There’s no real animosity in his tone but Heeseung feels upset nonetheless. 

“Sorry,” he finds himself apologizing. 

“It wasn’t your fault,” you tell him, leaning back against Sunghoon as you catch your breath. “I think that’s enough kayaking for today, though.”

Jay laughs. “Yeah, you can say that again. I’m getting hungry anyway. Sunoo and Riki are probably complaining about that too.” 

At dinner, the eight of you sit around the fire as Jay, with the help of Riki and Sunoo, prepare and serve the food. The warm food satisfies everyone and everybody takes turns swapping stories about kayaking, and everybody laughs when Sunghoon recounts the story of you tipping over your boat. Riki keeps your plate full and tries to give you more meat but you shake your head. He pouts and you eventually relent, and that makes Heeseung smile.

He can feel Jungwon looking at him. The younger boy sits next to Heeseung and looks at him every so often, especially when you start talking or when the topic of discussion falls onto you. He ignores it to the best of his ability because he’s sure his friend has picked up on the fact that he’s not acting like he’s not interested anymore. When Jungwon pulls him aside when everybody leaves to get ready for bed, he isn’t surprised. 

“What’s up with you?” Jungwon asks quizzically. “Don’t act like you don’t know what I mean either, Heeseung. You were acting weird at dinner.” 

“To make a long story short, the reason why I didn’t like Y/N all this time was because I thought she was the one who said I would never make it in music. Sunoo told me it was Chaewon, not Y/N.” 

Jungwon’s eyes open comically. “That’s the reason you didn’t like Y/N?!” Heeseung smacks his shoulder and shushes him. “You know if you just, like, told any of us why you were so mad at her, we could’ve solved this and you wouldn’t have lost a friend.” Ouch. 

“Yeah,” Heeseung replies, looking at the ground below him, “I know. I feel like an idiot and I feel guilty. I want to make it right with her but I’ve acted like such an ass. I told myself it was for the better.”

“You really were an ass,” Jungwon agrees. “Did you know she almost pulled out of this trip when she found out you were going?”

Heeseung’s shoulders slump. “I fucked up, Won. You’re her best friend and I put you in an uncomfortable position too. I’m sorry. I want to make things right but we haven’t had a real conversation in years.” 

“You’re going to have to do a lot more than apologize.” Jungwon sighs and beckons Heeseung to sit down on a log next to him. “She doesn’t hate you, Heeseung. Y/N’s sensitive, you know? She’s sensitive in the way that she feels things pretty deeply and doesn’t push things aside anymore. Back in high school, she went through something pretty life changing that forced her to shut down and all she wanted was to reach out to you but you iced her out.” 

“I feel awful. She has every right to hate me.”

“That’s the thing, Heeseung. Y/N doesn’t hate you. She doesn’t understand what she did that made you pull away and she’s hurt that you won’t talk to her about it. She’s done all she can trying to get through to you but she’s given up because that didn’t seem like it was going anywhere.”

“Can I ask you something?” Jungwon nods. “If…If I talked to her, apologized and tried to tell her what was going on at the time, do you think she’d forgive me?” 

Heeseung waits for his friend to answer. “I think she would appreciate that you put in the effort to be there for her. She still cares about you even if she says she doesn’t.”

“I don’t know about that.” 

“I do. I’m her best friend, Heeseung.” The elder nods. “What I’m saying is this: All Y/N has ever wanted was for you to make an effort for her. When you stopped being her friend, she wondered for months if she was a bad person because you didn’t talk to her about why you pulled away so suddenly. Apologizing doesn’t mean the two of you will go back to the way you used to, but she’ll appreciate that over distancing yourself because you feel guilty.” 

That last part hurts to hear but he understands. “Do you think Y/N and I could ever be friends?” 

Jungown nods. “Yeah, actually. I can tell that you’re being upfront with me right now. You know how she is. She values honesty and loyalty. Of everyone in our friend group, Y/N is the one who’s really good at communicating and giving advice about that kind of stuff. She doesn’t need you to go above and beyond for her. It might take time but I know she’d appreciate it if you at least made an effort to talk to her and clear up some stuff.” 

Heeseung is lost in thought and barely hears Jungwon tell him he’ll try his best to let the two of you talk tomorrow night after dinner. He doesn’t know how to thank him other than to pull him into a tight embrace and cling onto the younger boy like he’s got something to lose. Jungwon seems to understand where Heeseung is coming from–he, too, has had his fair share of arguments with you–so he hugs him back as if to say everything will be alright. 

When you wake up the next morning, a weird feeling settles in your chest. Jungwon is fast asleep when you leave the tent to get ready for the day after failing to fall asleep. The sun is already up and you don’t know what time it is, but the morning is cold and the sweater you have on protects you from the chill nicely. 

You see Heeseung at the wash station and grip your toiletry bag when he spots you. Awkwardly, you step into the bath house and turn the faucet on as he brushes his teeth, motioning yourself to do the same thing. He watches you from the mirror as you keep your eyeline straight in front of you. He wants to say something to you, perhaps “good morning” or “how did you sleep?” but nothing seems good enough. You, on the other hand, feel like Heeseung may as well put you under a microscope. 

“Can I help you?” 

He looks at you as if he’s been caught with his hand down the cookie jar. “N-No. Sorry.” You sigh and resume brushing your teeth when he spits and rinses his mouth of the toothpaste. “I mean what I said I was sorry. I really am.”

“For which part? Cussing me out or avoiding me since high school?” You sound tired. 

“All of it,” he says quietly. You keep your head straight while he looks at you. “I have no excuse. I’ve been acting like a dick towards you and I feel awful.” You don’t say anything. “I…I thought you were the one who said I wouldn’t make it as a producer. I didn’t know it was Chaewon who said it and that you were the one who defended me. I was stupid and angry, and I took it out on you without knowing the whole truth. 

“I didn’t find out until Sunoo told me yesterday. I didn’t talk about that with anyone since we were friends, you know? I was so hurt but I didn’t know that it was my fault for making myself feel like that…And in turn, I made you feel like you didn’t have a place in my life. I’m so, so sorry that I treated you like you didn’t mean anything to me when you did.” 

You don’t look at him as you finish your morning routine. He stands there awkwardly, waiting for you to say something. 

“I went through a lot of shit back then,” you say, turning to face him. “My dad left just after you stopped talking to me and all I wanted to do was talk to you about it. You always knew what to say to make me feel better but then you started ignoring me like I never mattered to you. Do you know how badly that hurt to have one of my best friends stop giving a shit about me? 

“I watched you hang out with our mutual friends. I watched you do really cool things with music but I did all of that on the sidelines because you never included me, even though I was the only person who really supported you., I don’t think you really get that there were so many people back then who just wanted to be your friend because a few of your songs blew up on the internet. I watched you keep them close while you pushed me aside without giving me the chance to make up for whatever I did to make you upset. 

“I’ve spent the last few years trying to be okay with the fact that you didn’t want to be friends anymore. I tried so hard to accept that you and I would only be people who saw each other in passing. But that hurt. It hurt so much to think you didn’t care about me for one second and didn’t care that I was upset too.” 

Your confession hangs in the air and Heeseung feels like crying when he sees that you’ve started to tear up. You wipe them away aggressively, too embarrassed to be seen weeping in front of him. 

“I’m sorry.” Heeseung’s voice cracks. “I am, Y/N. You were so good to me and I took that for granted.”

“Yeah, you could say that.” 

“I can’t make excuses for myself back then but I want you to know I own up to everything. I’m sorry that I let you feel like that and wasn’t mature enough to talk to you. I know I’m too late, but you deserve an apology. You deserve more than that.” 

Heeseung thinks you’re going to storm past him like he did a few nights prior. He thinks you might spit in his face and tell him to go to hell. But all you do is stare at him in silence. 

“I’ve wanted to hear you say that for a long time,” you tell him. “So thanks for that. I feel beyond hurt by everything you did and everything you’ve ever said since we stopped being friends. All I have ever wanted was to be in the same room and not worry about if you wanted me there or not. This entire trip has felt like walking on eggshells around you.” He lets you step around him and out of the bath house. 

“I don’t hate you either, Heeseung. I know you probably think that I do but I don't.” 

***

The rest of your friends can tell something’s going on between the two of you but choose not to comment on it. Everybody is off doing their own thing, as today is the last day of camping, and nobody wants to accidentally spoil it. You and Jungwon decide to head over to your “secret spot,” just the two of you, for old time’s sake.

“I’ll miss you when I leave Korea,” you say as the two of you sit on the ground. “I don’t know how I’m gonna do any of this without you, Wonnie.”

“I know you’re scared of the future and about your dad asking to see you, but you’ve got to know that you’re stronger than any of us. You’re like, a superhero, or something.” 

“Now you’re just being corny.” 

Jungwon laughs. “Yeah, maybe I am. But seriously, Y/N, I’ve always liked that you were able to find some of your optimism again. You make me feel like things will get better for me too. I can’t sit here and pretend I know what you’re going through, but I’ll always be here for you. My parents will too.”

“I still remember the look on their faces when my mom broke the news,” you snort. “They looked like they were ready to go to prison for murder.” 

“I’ve never seen them so angry. I felt like castrating your dad.” 

“Didn’t we all?” 

“But at least we got Riki out of it.” You smile fondly. Jungwon wants to tell you he’s proud of how far you’ve come, but decides to keep that to himself for now.

“I love him, you know. Even if I don’t really say it. I think it was hard for me to be able to say I loved him without feeling guilty. I thought I was betraying my mom if I gave Riki a chance and seeing her step up to be a parental figure when my dad was too busy mingling with our side of the family was hard. We’ve never talked about it but I know she doesn’t hate Riki. She wouldn’t have forced me to spend time with him if she did.

“He’s such a bright kid and he’s so talented. It makes me happy when people recognize that too. He taught me a lot about prioritizing my feelings. Learning to re-evaluate my life when Riki showed up made me feel, I don’t know, more mature? Like, I can be upset and still care about people because we all make mistakes and none of us asked to be here.” 

Jungwon lets a beat of silence pass before speaking. “Did Heeseung talk to you?”

“This morning. Why do you ask?”

“Well, I saw him acting a bit different at the bonfire last night and asked him if anything happened. He told me why he was so mad at you for so long and said he wanted to apologize.”

“Men are so fucking stupid,” you sigh, bringing your knees to your chest. “I don’t understand why he didn’t talk to me in the first place.”

“Me either, honestly. But at least he’s making an effort. Isn’t that what you said you wanted?” 

You nod. “Yeah. Feelings are complicated. I’ve been angry for so long. I always thought I’d yell at him and give him a piece of my mind, or something. I thought I would hate him and tell him to forget about me. But when he apologized, he said it in a way that made me believe he meant it. It didn’t feel like he was bullshitting me. I felt stuck.” 

“What did you end up saying?” 

“I told him how hurt I was during that time and said I wished he was there for me like I was for him when I was dealing with my dad. I told him how I wished we could’ve talked it out.” 

“That’s a good start.” 

“I don’t think we’ll ever go back to the way we were but I also know Heeseung. I know it took a lot out of him to set aside his pride and put somebody else first. I don’t really know what I’m gonna do now. All I know is I’m tired of being upset and I want to feel okay.”

Jungwon nudges your shoulder with his. “You’ll be just fine. The universe moves for you, Y/N. There’s no way you won’t have a happy ending.” He watches you hide a smile. 

“You are such a sap.” 

“It’s what you love about me.” 

“Unfortunately.” You’ll really miss him. “I gotta take it one day at a time, right? Heeseung is going to be in my life for a long time since we share so many friends. Riki loves him too, and I guess I can’t hate Heeseung too much for looking out for him. I don’t think I have any room to think about it when I get back because I’ll be doing some last minute packing and getting ready to move.” 

“It’ll be over before you know it. But even then, you’re going to have the best time in Okayama. Fuck your dad and all of the bad shit.”

“Yeah,” you laugh. “Fuck my dad.” 

The end of the trip is bittersweet. You start to tear up when you see the campsite completely empty and move slowly to pack everything in the cars. Heeseung notices but doesn’t say anything, offering to grab whatever’s in your hands when he sees you looking out into the clearing for extended periods of time. He doesn’t pretend to know what you’re feeling but he knows he doesn’t like it when you cry.

He watches you get into Jay’s car and wishes that you could be comfortable sitting alone with him. While Jake mans the aux, Heeseung thinks about what might happen when you move away. Will the two of you remain how you are or will you grow apart? Is there any room for him in your life now that you’re off to explore a different part of the world? Will he ever be able to push past the gnawing feeling of pushing his pathetic crush on you down until he no longer thinks of you like that?

He’s never admitted it, but those feelings he had towards you all those years ago never really went away. Heeseung doubled down on his irritation because doing otherwise would allow all of those romantic feelings to overwhelm him. He kept his head down around you because he knew one look at you would be enough to throw his inhibitions away and he was afraid he would risk everything he’s ever wanted just for you to tell him you love him too. Now that he knows everything was a misunderstanding, the grave loss weighs on him. He’s got a million thoughts running through his mind and none of them seem to make any sense. These romantic feelings didn’t lie dormant for all of these years, right? 

The next week and a half feels like it passes by too quickly for the both of you. You finish packing the morning of your going away party that everyone helped set up and plan. Your mom, along with Jungwon’s parents, all of your friends and their parents, and Maeumi, presentes you with the kind of happiness you never want to forget. Even Heeseung, who shows up and gives you a letter when no one else is looking, makes you feel like you would be dearly missed. You’re not sure that you enjoy being the center of attention, but everybody’s kindness makes you feel like you deserve to be. 

It’s late when they leave and socializing makes you feel far more exhausted than you anticipated. Your flight is midday tomorrow but you try not to think about that. Heeseung’s letter sits on the edge of your bed and the green envelope–your favorite color–stares at you like it’s begging you to open it. And open it you do. 

Y/N–

I don’t know where to start. I’m sorry, first of all, for treating you the way I did. I was a sorry excuse for a friend. I should’ve talked to you instead of jumping to conclusions and it doesn’t matter that we were both young. Friends annoy each other but they don’t disrespect one another. I’m so sorry that I made you doubt yourself. 

I’ll miss you a lot when you’re in Japan. We didn’t get the chance to talk it out and I understand if you don’t want anything to do with me after you leave. You deserve people who will be there for you. But please know I’ll always be rooting for you. 

Lastly…I don’t know if this is my place to say this but here goes nothing. Back when we were close, the one thing I loved about you was how passionate you were about life. You loved to learn and explore new things, and you always made me feel like I could feel that way too. I know you’re scared about Okayama for a number of reasons but you’re the strongest person I know. You’ll be just fine, even if you don’t feel like you will be. I’ll be here for you whenever you need me. I mean it.

- Heeseung

For the first time in a while, you allow yourself to cry over Lee Heeseung and surprise yourself when you realize that you want him back. 

***

At the airport, your mom helps you check in your luggage and asks if you’ve got everything you need and makes you double check everything. It’s reminiscent of the way you did with Riki before the camping trip. You’re happy despite feeling a bit annoyed that she’s making you take off your backpack. You don’t totally mind it, though. She gives you a hug that feels like it could last a lifetime and letting her go is the hardest thing you’ve ever done. 

Everybody else gives you love, too. Sunoo is the first to hug you and makes you promise to bring him back some skincare and souvenirs the next time you’re able to get back to Korea. Jake embraces you next and gives you some words of encouragement while Jay does his best to pretend like he isn’t sad by complaining about how there will be one less cook in the kitchen. You throw your arms around him anyway and pretend not to hear him sniffle. Sunghoon traps you in a bear hug and makes you promise to take as many photos as possible and says he’ll look forward to seeing them. He, too, pretends like he’s not about to cry. You push your head onto his shoulder and give his hand a squeeze before he lets a few teardrops fall. 

Jungwon is the most emotional of them all. He wipes away his free falling tears and crushes you in a hug, burying his head in your neck. “You better come back, asshole. I can’t believe you’re gonna leave me to chase your dreams. That’s so selfish of you.” You think you might cry too but laugh anyway. 

“I love you so much, Wonnie.” He squeezes you like he’s afraid he’ll forget what it feels like to be in your embrace until Jake pries him off of your body. 

Riki stands awkwardly with his eyes to the floor and his hands in front of him. The taller boy feels as though his shoes are glued down but you see the way his gaze flickers as if he’s trying to figure out what to do next. It doesn’t take much out of you to throw your arms around him and push yourself into his chest. 

“I’m going to miss you a lot, Riki,” you tell him.

“Really?” You nod. 

“I know I haven’t been the best towards you but you need to know that I’m so proud of you, okay? I loved getting to know you. I loved that you came on the trip and I’m so fucking happy that you’re my brother. Out of everybody who could’ve popped into my life, I’m so glad it was you.” 

Everybody watches Riki melt in front of them as he envelopes you right into him. You feel the weight of his shoulders relax and for the first time, you feel like you’re starting to wonder if this is what it feels like to have everything figured out. 

“I’ll come visit you,” he promises. “I’ll come home for winter break.”

“Stay with me. We can do all of the corny shit siblings do. I’ll even pay for everything.” 

Riki laughs but doesn’t let you go. “You’re the best, you know that? Even though it took you some time, I always thought of you like my sister. I’m really happy to be around you.” 

The waterworks begin and Riki does his best to comfort you when he feels tears on his shirt. He feels somewhere in between empty and fulfilled knowing the two of you have made amends, but knowing you want to work towards the future is enough to make him confident that everything will be alright. He lets you go when he feels your arms loosen around him and aggressively wipes his own tears away. 

When you look at Heeseung, the last thing he expects you to do is acknowledge him. He came to the airport because he wants you to know he meant everything in the letter he wrote. He stayed up all night to check for your texts but you hadn’t said anything, and while he knew it was an emotional day for you because of all you were dealing with, a selfish part of him wanted to know what you thought about it. 

You surprise Heeseung and yourself by engulfing him in a hug. The familiarity of his embrace makes you feel nostalgic and you can’t help but cry right into his chest. Heeseung doesn’t hesitate and brings his arms to wrap around your fragile body as you silently weep against him. He holds you tight and gently rocks your body like he used to all those years ago. You don’t fight back either. Instead, you push your head deeper into him and hold him until your tears have stopped. 

“I read your letter,” you say quietly. “We have a lot to talk about but I appreciate everything you said, Heeseung. I tried to hate you but I could never bring myself to feel that way about you.”

“I’m really going to miss you. Can I be selfish?” Heeseung asks with a sob in his throat. “I wish I apologized sooner and I wish we had more time. But please, promise me that you’re going to try to have fun in Japan, okay? You’re the best person I know, even if I didn’t make you feel like it. I’ll always live with that regret but knowing you’ll forget about me and make a life for yourself is enough.”

“I could never truly forget about you, Hee.” That nickname you used to call him makes Heeseung’s heart beat faster. “I don’t want you out of my life. All these years I felt like that’s what I wanted but I don’t want that now. Be happy without me too, okay? Forget about me and follow that dream of yours.” 

Heeseung laughs sadly. “I don’t think I could ever forget about you.” You step away from him and wipe your eyes for the umteenth time. 

“Write a song for me, then. And don’t be a stranger, okay?” 

“Okay.” Heeseung swears on it. “I won’t.” 

A beat of silence passes before all seven of your friends push you into the middle of their group hug. It brings another round of tears to your eyes and Jungwon’s the one who lets you cry into him until your mom tells you it’s time to start boarding. Everybody gets one final goodbye before you disappear into the plane. 

You smile at your phone when you settle into your seat. 

lee heeseung: I miss you already 

You miss him too.

***

Okayama is a dream until it isn’t. You settled into your apartment and had one month before you started your job and went to all the places Riki recommended. You started to understand him a little better after moving and both of you find it hilarious that you two ended up living in each others’ hometowns. You can’t choose your siblings but you’d choose Riki in every lifetime. 

You call your mom every so often and update her on life. Your friends keep you in the loop and FaceTime you when they’re out together. It makes you feel like you’re back in Korea and while it isn’t the same, you appreciate the effort anyway. You’ve made friends with your neighbors and a few girls you met when you went out drinking with your cousin the week you moved and it made braving a whole new country feel less daunting. Jungwon calls you everyday and you tease him for being such a clingy friend, but you both know you love it. You inform him about everything from the boring details to juicy work drama, and it feels like you’re sitting in his bedroom wearing face masks and eating junk food. 

Heeseung has been a constant fixture in your life, too. You texted him the moment you landed and he kept the conversation going. You talk about everything, the past especially, and start to feel like things might be okay. Those butterflies that you had for him in high school made an appearance after three months in Japan and part of you wondered if you were a fool for bringing him back into your life after everything. All of your friends back in Korea tell you Heeseung is miserable without you and when they tease him in the big group chat, he doesn’t deny it.

The friends you made seemed divided–one half thought you should leave him in the dark while the other half swooned over his dedication to making things right. You don’t really know what to think or how to feel, but you know you’re happy. Between phone calls and late night texts, you were always left with a smile on your face before bed.

Riki came back to Okayama for winter break and spent two weeks in your apartment. When the two of you weren’t bickering as siblings do, you both stayed up way too late watching anime and watched him dance at his home studio. Riki even got you to attend a few classes (he tried not to laugh at your poor coordination skills but appreciated the effort anyway). You prefer to be in the audience. 

Life seemed great until your dad made an appearance just before Christmas. He knew you were here from a single text message he never responded to before you moved to Okayama. The weight of his silence prepared you to be in Japan without him but his sudden appearance made you feel like everything changed for the worse. Riki went back to his childhood home to see his family and asked you to come with him after your dad had forced him. Your brother knows the intricate dynamic and you don’t blame him for anything. Seeing your dad with his new family after sparse texts since he left felt like a punch in the gut. It soured your holidays and Riki spent the rest of his trip apologizing even though you told him there was no reason for him to be sorry. You dropped him off at the airport and told him you’d see him in the summertime. 

The holidays came and went but the feelings you’ve carried since then haven’t disappeared, which brings you to the present. Heeseung is standing in the doorway of your apartment in Okayama, looking at you with those big, round doe eyes you always loved. 

“Hi,” he says breathlessly. 

“Heeseung…What are you doing here?” He scratches the back of his neck. 

“You’ve been going through a lot, you know? Every time we talked on the phone, you sounded like you were a thousand miles away and it killed me to know I couldn’t do anything to make you feel better after the holidays with your dad. Jungwon and I have been talking about how much of an ass he is and how much we wish we could be here for you and the next thing I knew, he was encouraging me to buy the next flight out to see you,” Heeseung says in a single breath. “But honestly? I just really, really fucking missed you.”

“You flew all this way here? For me?”

“Yeah.” Heeseung says it like it’s a no-brainer. “Although, now I feel kinda stupid. I realize I’m putting you in a tough spot. But you know what? I think it’s worth it to know that you’re okay.” 

He looks at you but you don’t say anything. Heeseung can see the gears turning inside of your head while you process his arrival. You look so cute in your sleep shorts and oversized shirt. He loves it when you call him via FaceTime because he gets to see all parts of you–getting ready for work and winding down as you are now. It makes him feel like you’re pulling him right back into you. 

You don’t really need to say anything. You lurch yourself onto him and press your lips against his like it’s something you’ve been waiting to do for the longest time. You probably have. Heeseung wraps his arms around you and lets his mouth melt against yours and doesn’t complain about your boldness either. He welcomes it, even. 

“You’re so stupid,” you mutter against him, pulling him into your apartment and locking the door behind you. You kiss him repeatedly and he puts his hands on your waist as if to let you know he’s right there with you. 

“Why am I stupid, baby?” Heeseung’s voice paired with that nickname makes your knees buckle.  

“You can stay with me.” He feels you smile against your lips. “Please just…stay here and don’t go.” 

“I’m not going anywhere.” 

Heeseung drops his backpack onto the floor and lets you capture his mouth again. You taste so fresh with your cherry lip balm. He moans right into your mouth when you push him against your countertop and the feeling of his hands on your body makes you grow hotter as the seconds pass by. The ache between your legs starts to overwhelm you as his plump lips kiss you over and over again before he pushes them against your neck. It’s too much in all of the right ways and you’re too aroused to even think straight. You start to pull yourself away from Heeseung and he’s about to ask if he’s going too fast when you grab your hand and lead him to your bedroom. 

“Y/N, wait,” Heeseung tries to say in between kisses. He loves the feeling of your warm mouth against him and feels himself starting to get worked up but he doesn’t know if you’re thinking straight. Even though the two of you have talked nearly everyday, Heeseung doesn’t know if this is moving too fast. 

“I’m done waiting.” You pull away from him and reach for his hand, pushing his lengthy fingers past your shorts and underwear until he feels the wet slick starting to pool at your folds. Your hand moves his back and forth as he looks at you like you’ve stunned him with a laser gun. Heeseung’s dick jumps in his pants and it takes him a second to move his fingers on his own accord. “I want you, Heeseung. Don’t you want me too?”

His resolve crumbles. Heeseung nods with his mouth parted as he pushes his fingers inside you, your wetness allowing him to reach your depths immediately. You push yourself on your toes and put your hands on his chest, clinging onto him like you’re afraid he’d let you go if you don’t. He thrusts his fingers with intention and hears your quiet whimpers when he leans his head down next to your mouth.

“Yeah,” Heeseung says, lips touching the shell of your ear as his voice ripples through your body. “I want you.”

He pulls his hand away from you and smiles at the short whine from the loss of his touch. Heeseung loves how much you need him and he’s sure you can see how much he needs you too. A surge of confidence jolts within you as Heeseung looks down at your body like he’s ready to eat you alive. You peel off your shirt and shorts, leaving you in your underwear as Heeseung pulls his shirt over his head with a single hand. 

“Lie down,” Heeseung beckons. You do as he says and he sinks down to his knees and pries your legs apart, looking directly at you as he speaks. “Good girl.” He pulls your garments down your legs and the cool air hits your center as Heeseung looks down at you. 

You don’t have time to think about anything when he peppers soft kisses on your skin. His lips journey from the inside of your knee and he presses one small kiss to your slit before repeating the process on your other leg. Heeseung allows himself to get lost in the way your body reacts to his feather-like touches before descending down onto your folds. 

Heeseung’s tongue feels like the closest thing to magic. He takes his time when licking you with his warm and wet muscle, canvassing every ridge with expert movements. You rake your fingers through his hair and tug gently at his soft roots, pulling a moan out of him that delivers a delicious shock up your spine. He puts your feet on his shoulders and plunges his tongue inside of you and grips your flesh with his fingertips until you’re coming undone on his mouth. 

“So fucking good,” he mutters to himself more than he does to you. He laps up your release and you find yourself a bit embarrassed that you were able to come so quickly, but the way he touches you makes it seem as though he already knew how to push your buttons. “You’re so sweet, Y/N. I could eat you all day if you’d let me.” 

Heeseung trails his lips up your stomach and kisses you so tenderly that you feel as though your body must be made out of soft cotton. His lips find your left nipple and lets his tongue swirl over the bud before sucking on it with a gentle motion. He repeats the process on the other nub and flicks it, enjoying the soft sounds that come from you. Heeseung buries himself right into your neck but he doesn’t kiss the skin like you think he will. Instead, he kisses you twice on your open neck before moving his body so that he can look down at you. 

He bites his lip. It makes you feel exposed but somehow, it makes you feel all that more confident. It’s like Heeseung is looking right through you with all of your worries and faults laid out for him to reject. But he doesn’t. Likewise, Heeseung allows you to see him in his vulnerability and he’s ready to pack up his things and leave if you tell him you don’t want this anymore. But you don’t. 

He descends on you once again, this time his lips pushing against you in a slow and sensual kiss. You feel the way he moves against you and savor the sounds your mouths make together. Heeseung brings his hand to brush strands of your hair away from your face as he kisses you and the gentle touch of his fingertips feels like it was always meant to be there. 

“I need you.” Your back arches right into his chest as you speak. “Don’t make me wait, Heeseung. Please, I just…I need you.” 

“I’ll never make you wait. Never again,” he promises. Heeseung manages to rid himself of his pants and boxers and pushes himself between your legs until his dick is situated between your folds. Your arousal, paired with the precum oozing from his slit, provides the perfect balance of wetness that coats the entirety of his cock as he glides himself against you. 

When his tip catches your hole, the sounds of your moans overpowers his refrain. He pushes inside of you slowly inch by inch, savoring the way you feel for the fear that he might never be able to do this again. You look so beautiful underneath him with his dick completely sheathed inside of you and when your legs wrap around his body to encourage him to move, Heeseung doesn’t deny you of your pleasure. 

Neither of you have ever had sex like this–the feeling of pure rawness echoes throughout the room between your breathy moans and the sound of skin pushing against one another. Your body is warm in the way he always imagined and his hands touch every inch of you as if to commit your silhouette to memory. In this moment, Heeseung feels as though the two of you are kindred spirits who found each other.

“You’re so good for me,” Heeseung whispers into your neck as he thrusts into you. “So fucking tight and wet.” He feels your arms wrap around his shoulders to keep him trapped between you but he can’t say he minds all that much. 

“I-I’m so close,” you say in a broken moan. 

“Already, baby?” Heeseung says to tease you as he brings his head up to look down at you again. He pushes his hips against you faster and that surprised gasp you let out makes his balls clench. 

“S-Shut up.” 

Your arms fall to the mattress as you claw at your sheets. Heeseung plans his elbows on either side of your head as he focuses all of his willpower towards fucking you with fast deep strokes, loving the way your mouth parts slightly and how your eyes are closed shut. His muscles flex as he pushes himself until you’re coming with a loud moan, and finds himself releasing inside of you the moment he feels you gushing around him. 

You feel Heeseung press his tender lips against your forehead as you come down from your high while he continues to rock you through your release. Your cheeks are hot from the pleasure and the room is suddenly too warm with Heeseung on top of you. When you open your eyes, he’s looking at you like he’s seen a halo above your head. He can’t really help it. Heeseung leans down to press a soft, gentle kiss against your lips to convey a job well down. 

“I came so fast,” you whisper bashfully. You bite your lip but Heeseung tugs it away from your teeth to kiss you again. 

“Me too.” Heeseung kisses your nose and relishes in the way you scrunch your face. “But it’s okay. You deserve to feel good. I don’t care how long or short it takes.” He places his hand on your face and rubs the apple of your cheek with his thumb. 

“I really missed you.” 

“I missed you too, dummy,” Heeseung says before flicking your nose. He holds your jaw in place before kissing you again. 

“We’re gonna have to do a lot of making up, you know,” you mumble against his lips with a smile. 

“Oh yeah?” 

“Mhm.” You push against his lips. Heeseung pushes his half-hard dick inside of you as your back arches right into him. He’s there to catch you this time, his arm supporting your spine underneath you. “Fuck!” 

“My baby,” he whispers into you. “Let me make it up to you.” 

You let him.

***

EPILOGUE: THE FOLLOWING SPRING

“For fuck’s sake, get your big ass head out of the way.”

Jay smacks Jake’s shoulder. “You can see just fine, stupid.” Sunghoon hits both of their shoulders. 

“Both of you, stop moving so much. You guys almost knocked my camera.” They mumble a quick apology before finding another thing to discuss. 

“I feel like I’m surrounded by children.” You sigh as Heeseung wraps his arms around your waist and lets his chin sit atop the crown of your head. He feels your body relax against him and smiles. 

“Well you are, technically. Riki just stopped wearing diapers.” 

“I hate you so much, Heeseung,” the younger boy whines without any true malice. You laugh and squeeze Riki’s hand. He can’t find it in himself to be too mad at either of you. 

“Do you guys see Jungwon and Sunoo?” Sunghoon asks with his camera at the ready. “I want to make sure I take as many pictures as possible.” 

“I don’t think they’re coming out yet,” says Jay. 

“Duh.” Jake provokes him in a way you missed while you were in Okayama. It brings warmth to your heart when you see them bicker. 

Jay turns to you. “Y/N, have you given a second thought about moving in with Jake when you come back? I think you’d be better off if you kicked him to the streets.”

“Hey!” Jake tackles Jay until he’s got his older friend’s neck between his arms. None of you pay too much attention and choose to wait for Jungwon and Sunoo. 

“Our friends are another breed,” Heeseung mumbles against you as he kisses your cheek. “Are you sure you want to move back and be roommates with Jake and Jungwon?” 

“Mhm. I miss you guys so much.” 

“But you miss me the most, right?” 

“Yes, baby.” You bring his hand up to your lips and kiss the back of it. “I missed you the most.” 

“There they are!” Riki shouts. 

Jungwon and Sunoo, clad in their caps and gowns, saunter their way out of the stadium before spotting your group. They make a run for it and push past the onlookers who search for their loved ones as well. Sunoo clings onto Jake while Jungwon finds his perch in Riki’s arms as Sunghoon captures the beautiful moment on his digital camera. 

“We fucking did it!” Jungwon shouts as he pulls away. “Sunoo, we did it!” 

“About damn time,” Sunoo replies as he rolls his eyes with a smile. “I felt like I’d be there forever.” 

“We’re so proud of you both.” Jay smiles and moves to hug each of them. “You guys are amazing, seriously.” 

“I can’t believe you’re leaving me.” Riki bumps hips with Sunoo. “That seems unfair.” 

“Life is unfair.” There’s no real bite to his tone, just a bittersweet future. Sunoo hugs the taller boy. 

“Oh my God,” Jungwon says with his hand pressed to his mouth. “Y/N is crying.” 

“No I’m not,” you say, even though you definitely are. Heeseung squeezes you tighter against him. “Shut up, Jungwon. I’m not crying.” 

“You so are!” Riki shouts. 

“I’m not crying. Seeing my best friends graduate college is not a good reason to cry, okay?!” 

Jungwon and Sunoo sport shit-eating grins. Heeseung lets you go as they engulf you in a hug while the younger of the two feels your hot tears on his cheek. He laughs and this moment starts to feel a bit nostalgic to him, as he acted the same way you did upon seeing you in your cap and gown. 

“Hey,” he says in a softer tone, pulling away from the two of you. “Thanks for being here. I know taking time off was a little hard but we’re so happy you could come.”

“Yeah,” Sunoo agrees. “Talking to you over the phone isn’t enough. We missed you, you know?” 

You tear up again and wipe your nose before falling into them again. “I missed you too.”

“Oh God,” Sunghoon laughs. “If Y/N’s crying then I know we’re in for it.” 

“Hey!” Heeseung jokes, nudging his friend with his shoulder. “Don’t talk about my girlfriend like that.” Although, he can’t really disagree with Sunghoon. 

“You’re all so stupid for making me cry in public,” you say as you wipe your tears from your eyes. “I’m gonna look back at these pictures and my eyes will be all red and puffy.” 

“I feel like you and Heeseung might as well be our parents,” Sunoo says as Heeseung pulls him into a hug.

“Wait, you guys should totally take a family photo.” Jake steps forward to arrange the four of you like a family portrait with Jungwon and Sunoo between you and Heeseung. “There. Sunghoon, take a picture. This is so going on the fridge when we move in together.” 

Heeseung moves back next to you as the rest of your friends look at the photos on Sunghoon’s camera and take turns taking pictures of him with the graduates. He kisses your cheek and pulls you back into him. 

“You ready to come back to all this chaos?”

“More than ready,” you affirm. “I loved Okayama, even though I had to deal with my dad and all of that stuff. But I missed my life here and the masters program over in Seoul is a good fit for me, you know? Plus, your apartment isn’t too far from mine.” 

“I can’t wait for you to move back.” Heeseung kisses your cheek again. “Your mom and I talked logistics about helping you move into the new apartment. Knowing you, I’m sure you’ll have another suitcase coming back with you.” 

“Shut up.” 

“You know I’m right.” 

You blush and mumble. “Yeah…You’re right.” 

“Your mom and Jungwon’s parents talked about renting a bigger camp space this year, too. I think they’re planning on having one huge trip this year now that most of us have graduated.” 

“I can’t believe our last trip was almost a year ago. That’s insane because it feels like I moved to Japan just yesterday.” 

“I solemnly swear I will never be as stupid or dense as I was back then.” When you turn around to look at Heeseung, you know he’s telling the truth. You don’t answer him verbally and choose to silence him with a pretty kiss. It’s enough for the two of you. 

“Oi, love birds,” Jake calls, looking at you. “We should find their parents. Your mom called me and I think she was crying.” 

You frown. “Why didn’t she call me?”  

“She said you were probably crying too,” Jake snickers. 

“Is it too late to back out of being roommates?” 

“Nope. You’re stuck with me.” 

Heeseung squeezes your hand. 

“And me.” 

As you look around, you can’t help but feel as though this was always how it was meant to be.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

***

comments and reblogs are appreciated! xx

[elliewithcellie]

Girl, Interrupted

summary: Eddie crashes by your home when you least expected, but everything happens for a reason, right?

wc: 1.8k

cw: PURE SMUT (MDNI 18+), basically no plot, friends to fwb?, oral (f receiving), Eddie is a tease, fairly bold reader lol, fingering, talk of p in v sex, hair pulling, orgasms idk let me know what else

a/n: my bestie bought me slutty pajamas for my birthday, and since I'm a hypothetical whore, this has been on my mind nonstop. Finally took a break from my spn series to write this down. This is the filthiest thing I've written to date but definitely short and sweet

Eddie’s jaw fell slack as the door opened before him. He knew he shouldn’t have shown up to your place uninvited. Sure, you were his best friend, and of course, you had said he could come over whenever, but that never truly meant unannounced. He was already kicking himself for showing up as late as he did when you opened the door.

Your oh so short pajama shorts were the first thing that caught his eye, how your thighs spilled out beneath them, the cotton begging for relief. His eyes trailed higher to your tank top one size too small. The hem rested just above your midriff, the outline of your hips more prominent than he had ever seen. Your face was flush, pinks and reds lining your cheeks. He fought the urge to pinch himself, scared that he was dreaming, scared that he’d wake up to the absence of you and very real feelings emerging.

“Eddie? What are you doing here?” you asked, your arms crossing over your chest. “I thought you had a date.”

Date, what date? Eddie’s mind was going numb. His brain was flatlining at the mere sight of you, more exposed to him than he’d ever seen you. Fight or flight kicked in, debating on whether to say something or just turn around and leave. He was almost sure he was not supposed to see you in this state.

“I—uhh—it didn’t go well, so I cut it short. But I know you love the place, so I figured I’d bring over the leftovers.”

“Oh, sweet. Thank you.”

Eddie hesitated, scared to ask, but his interest piqued. “Is someone—you’re alone right now, right?”

Your eyebrows pinched together. You exhaled a dry laugh. “Please, I’m always alone. Come in. Tell me about your date.”

You ushered Eddie inside and settled into your couch. You pulled a blanket over you, and Eddie released a sigh. He couldn’t believe the hold you suddenly had on him. It was like he was in high school again, ready to combust at the sight of a shoulder. At least with your legs covered, he was less inclined to think about spreading them.

“Was it really that bad?” you asked, drawing Eddie from his thoughts.

“She was just so boring,” Eddie complained. “Like, there’s nothing wrong with her, but it was like we were from different planets! She didn’t know Metallica! How am I supposed to bond with someone when there’s nothing to relate to?”

“Did you think of showing her?”

“Showing her what?”

“Metallica!” you laughed. “Wouldn’t that be kind of romantic, you know, to introduce that to her? Maybe tell her you’re in a band? It’d be like showing her a whole new world. And maybe you’d get a groupie out of it.”

Eddie swatted at the air. “It’s not worth it. We were both bored. And it was clear she wasn’t looking to rock with a guitarist.”

“Oh, I highly doubt that.”

“You didn’t meet her. She’s pristine, a Chrissy Cunningham type. Meant to be with a lawyer or some shit.”

You leaned in closer to Eddie, your blanket sliding down your thighs. “Those are the girls who fantasize about guys like you the most. Those girls on the straight and narrow, the ones who seemed destined to be sweet stay-at-home moms or perfect career women, those are the ones who dream of just one night doing something they never thought they could. Something so wild that when they’re taking their kids to soccer practice, or their ‘perfect husband’ is asleep on the recliner while they're doing the dishes, they can think back to that wild night when they fucked a rockstar.”

Eddie’s lip trembled as chills coursed through his body. You leaned back against the couch and shrugged like what you said was nothing. You had to be on something, he decided. Never had you been so frank when the topic of sex came up. Your face was still flushed with color, and you couldn’t seem to find a comfortable position on the couch, shifting yourself from one side to the other to no specific rhythm. Heat radiated off of you, though you weren’t known to be the furnace between the two of you. Something struck Eddie as so foreign but so familiar as he took you in.

“Would you fuck a rockstar?” Eddie found himself saying.

Heat rose to your cheeks. “Do I seem like one of those straight-and-narrow girls to you?”

“That’s not what I asked,” Eddie said, a newfound confidence overtaking him. “You came up with that way too fast to act like you don’t think of it, too. So, would you fuck a rockstar?”

You bit your lip and shifted in your seat. You huffed into the couch. “Wouldn’t anyone?”

“Why so shy all of a sudden?” Eddie asked, egging you on. “You’ve been squirming since I got here, sweetheart. Is something on your mind?”

Your eyes trailed from his eyes to his lips, then back to his eyes. “Tonight is not the night to ask me that.”

“Why is that?” Eddie chuckled. “Were you in the middle of something? Was something left unfinished when I so rudely interrupted? And now all you can think about is the ache between your legs?”

You shuddered at his words. “Eddie,” you said, your voice shaking.

“I could help you.” Eddie leaned closer, his words almost a whisper. “Because I may not be a rockstar, but I’m sure I could give you the night of your life.”

Your breath hitched in your throat. “Don’t tease me. It’s not funny.”

“No one’s laughing.” Eddie pulled the blanket back, his hands resting on your thighs. Your legs slightly opened on instinct. “What kind of friend would I be, huh? If I didn’t at least offer?”

Eddie didn’t know where this bravado came from, but he didn’t care. All he knew was the longer you looked at him like that, the harder he got.

You grabbed him by his shirt and forced his lips on yours. Nothing soft or sweet came from your lips. You were needy and desperate, clinging to him like he was the air in your lungs.

The urgency shocked Eddie, but he quickly found your rhythm. He smirked against your lips as he pulled his jacket off. His hands snaked from your thighs to your hips to your ass, lifting you onto his lap. You groaned into his mouth as he rolled you against him.

He was sure he was dreaming now. Only there did he ever picture you above him, grinding your hips into his. Only there did he imagine you moaning from his touch. But never were his dreams this vivid, this real, this fucking good.

He pulled you from him and pushed you back onto the couch. You whined at the loss of contact. He’d never seen your eyes so dark, so lustful, so hungry for him.

He slid down to the floor onto his knees and pulled you to the edge of the couch. “You still want my help, sweetheart?”

You nodded emphatically.

“I need to hear you, baby. Say it.”

“Please help me, Eddie. I need you. Please.”

“Atta girl.”

You lifted yourself up as Eddie pulled your shorts down your legs. Eddie’s cock jumped at the sight of you. He bit his lip to maintain what little composure he had left.

“Aww, your poor little pussy’s just as needy as you, isn’t she?” He spread your knees apart, the cold metal on his fingers sending chills up your spine. The throbbing between your legs only intensified, a small whimper escaping your lips.

Eddie couldn’t wait any longer. There was no time for teasing, no time to explore. You needed him, and he was going to deliver.

He dove into your aching pussy like a man starved. You jumped at the contact, your hands flying to his hair. His tongue worked overtime, kitten-licking your clit before diving in for more.

“You taste so good, sweetheart,” he said, smiling against you. You moaned in response, grabbing a fistful of his hair and pulling him closer.

Your sounds turned him on even more, searching for his own release as he rubbed himself against the couch. His mind was in a daze, in utter disbelief that anyone could look so perfect for him with your legs spread and your back arched. Your chest rose and fell to the rhythm of his tongue, and your lips formed a perfect ‘o’. Oh, how Eddie wanted to feel your lips around his cock. How you’d sink down on him, your perfect innocent mouth being completely sinful just for him.

He placed a finger at your entrance and pumped in and out, his thumb now circling your clit. Your head fell back. “God, yes, Eddie. Just like that.”

“I need you to do something for me, baby,” Eddie said as he added a second finger.

“Wha—what’s that?” you asked, breathless.

“I need you to tell me what you think of when you get off. Tell me what you were thinking of before I showed up at your door.”

“I—I oh god,” you shouted as Eddie’s lips found your clit. “I—I thought about you on your fucking date.”

“Oh fuck,” Eddie groaned into your pussy, the vibrations shooting up your spine.

“I pictured you fucking her from behind, her skirt hiked up to her hips, her panties to the side as you fucked her in front of the bathroom mirror.”

“Fucking C—Christ,” Eddie stuttered, his hips rutting into the couch faster. “Keep going.”

“Then it was me you were fucking. You grabbed me by the hair, so I could watch what you were doing to me,” you said, your voice shaking with every word. “Eddie, please. I’m close. Please.”

“Come on, baby. You can do it. Tell me what I was doing to you.” He was past dreaming at this point. He was sure this was heaven. Hearing your words had him reeling. He didn’t want to stop, didn't know how to stop. He just knew he needed to see you come.

Your lip trembled. “Your hands were all over me, playing with my tits, your lips on my neck, and—and your big cock pounding into me over and oh-ver and—and Fuck! Eddie, don’t stop! Please, please, please!”

Your orgasm crashed down on you, expletives and Eddie’s name on your lips. Eddie continued to pump his fingers in and out of you like a madman as he lapped up your cum.

“Oh god, oh fuck!” he moaned against you.

You pushed his head off of you and caught your breath. Eddie took a breath, too, leaning back against his heels. You pulled him back up to you and kissed him, tasting yourself on your lips.

“That… was so hot,” Eddie said, releasing a breath.

“Can it be my turn to help you?” you asked, looking up at him through your eyelashes.

Eddie’s cheeks rouged slightly, his eyes trailing to the growing wet spot on his jeans. “I had a turn already,” he said, guilt painting his words. He leaned in toward you, a devilish smirk joining his features. “But I’m not done with you. Not yet.”

[suguae]

Haunted

part one

I tried my best to tag as many people!

The long awaited part two! I'm so sorry if this doesn't live up to your guys expectations! I really felt like so much people were waiting for a part two and I've been so busy, but hopefully you all enjoy!

You were like a shot of espresso, a ray of sunlight and one would be so lucky just to even be in your presence.

That's how he saw it at least. The gummy smile that was glued on your face as you listened to Megumi's silly stories he'd make up just to entertain you.

Wherever you stepped foot, the mood would lighten drastically.

He knew that because if you were here with him right now, Megumi wouldn't be crying his heart out begging his dad to call you. Toji wouldn't be struggling to fall asleep as he looked at your side of the bed imagining you there. He wouldn't be crossing his fingers hoping that every notification on his phone would be you.

"The princess and prince got married and lived happily ever after." You smiled as Megumi watched you close the book in awe. His cheeks were painted with a light pink, "You and Daddy?" You couldn't help but giggle at cute sleepy Megumi.

"No..." You whispered, noticing his eyes getting heavy.

Toji's eyes shifted towards you and his baby boy on the shared bed, Megumi of course having one of his fits and you never being able to say no to him. His heart felt heavy, hearing the cold truth slip from your mouth.

"You've been out of it Fushiguro..."

There he was back to reality in his cold—big office. Standing in front of him was Shiu, his best and his closest employee. "Zenin." Toji corrected which caught Shiu by surprise. Toji was proud to have his wife's last name, yet here he is using his last name.

No wedding ring? Shiu thought to himself, looking at Toji’s empty fingers. But in fact his fingers were not empty, because there sat the dark purple promise ring you had gotten him for your third year anniversary. Shiu smiled to himself, he was moving on—for the better. 

“You and Y/n are doing better, I guess?” He sighs, taking a couple steps towards his boss’s desk and plopping himself on the chair in front of him. His smile fading hearing the vague no, coming from his boss. 

“She left actually, but it’s better this way.” 

“Is it?” 

“No, it’s not.” You smiled as the soft yellow light from the candle illuminated onto your face. How Toji’s heart melted when he saw that little sparkle in your eyes. “I actually love kids.” Your eyes shifted to the little stroller after Toji mentioned how stupid it was to try to go on dates as he had a whole baby. 

“It’s been rough ever since my wife passed.” 

He remembers that look on your face when he told you how recently his wife had passed. It was the first date, he brought his son and mentioned his dead wife. There was no way he would ever see you again after that. But he was wrong because you always found your way back.

“Daddy—gumi hungry!” The little boy pouted as Toji noticed the burning smell of the food. It had been way too much now, spacing out every chance he had just to think about you.

Where are you?

Are you okay?

He wonders if you’re doing better now that you left him.

Probably, right?

Wrong.

“You need to clean this place up, it’s a mess y/n.” Your mom says entering your small apartment. The tiny cans of energy drinks scattered around the place, tissues and a pile of blankets on the couch.

She sighed watching your frail body sit up from the couch, her arm wrapped around your body and she placed small kisses on your forehead.

“It’s gonna take a while to get back on his feet. When your father passed away, it took years for me to officially realize that he was gone y/n.”

That’s what hurt the most, how long was Toji willing to take to realize? What if he forgets about you?

“Go back to your daily life, my baby he will call you when he’s ready. I see the love in his eyes.” She smiled once more before bringing you closer in her embrace.

This is what you needed.

The embrace of someone else’s while your life was slowly changing.

His thumb hovered over your contact. His hands shaking as the tears swell in his eyes. It’s been well over six months since the break up.

Toji was more than ready.

He was just afraid now, afraid of the fact that the women he had a past with moved on and would reject his return.

His thumb firmly pressing the dial button as he brings his phone up towards his ear. He could feel his throat closing and his stomach churning.

“Hello?”

<- previous next part ->

taglist: @ssc7514@utarts@my1guilty1pleasures@bangchansthings@nxxun-blog@sidelnes@khaleesihavilliard@wr4inn@r0ckst4rjk@iwishigotswallowed@ryumurin@traacy-lin@aikori6@slowlyswimmingmoon@mikyapixie@dreamlessnight@maliakealoha

[hoshifighting]

— Synopsis: Where Seungcheol is your bestfriend with benefit, and after you agree to go on a date with a guy, Seungcheol has a jealous crisis. And during the date, you realize that going out with this guy was a mistake. — WC: 5.8K — WARNINGS: Smut, slut/whore shamming, angst, argument, jealousy, "you are mine", unprotected sex, oral (f. and m. receiving), flashbacks, penetrative sex, fingering, clit stimulation, chocking, hair pulling, cock/face slap, multiple orgasms, creampie, begging, overwhelming, confession and etc.

You apply the final touch of lipstick, glancing at your reflection in the mirror. The person staring back looks confident, ready, but you can’t ignore Seungcheol’s presence behind you. He’s perched on your couch, arms crossed, a pout that reminds you of a child denied his favorite candy.

"What's going on, Seungcheol?" you ask.

"This guy is no good," he replies, his voice tinged with frustration.

You mumble, "Yes, yes, you've told me plenty of times."

He leans forward, eyes intense. "Then why are you going on this date?"

You stay quiet, fiddling with the makeup on the desk. He presses on, "How long have you been talking to him?"

You don't answer, the silence thick between you. Suddenly, he stands, crossing the room in a few strides. He turns you around, pushing you gently but firmly against the desk. His breath is warm on your neck.

"Why won't you answer me?" he demands softly.

"Seungcheol, it's... complicated," you murmur, avoiding his gaze.

"Complicated?" he echoes, his grip on your shoulders tightening just a bit. "We used to talk about everything. You've always been open about your flings, but now..." He trails off, searching your eyes for answers.

"But now we're fucking, Seungcheol!"

"And? What's your point?"

"Why do you care now?" you retort, your voice tinged with irritation. "When you were fucking with Mingyu's sister, I didn't say anything!"

Seungcheol's shock is evident, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. Finally, he manages to sputter, "We weren't... we weren't fucking!"

You scoff, rolling your eyes. "Come on, Seungcheol. You think I'm blind? That girl couldn't keep her hands off you."

"We were just... hanging out," he insists, his tone growing louder.

"Hanging out?" you repeat, incredulous. "That's the best excuse you've got?"

Seungcheol's frustration bubbles over, his voice rising to match yours. "What's wrong with you, huh? Why do you care so much about who I'm with?"

"Why do you care so much about who I'm with?" you shoot back, your own anger rising. "You're the one who started this whole thing, remember?"

"And you accept it!" Seungcheol shouts, his frustration boiling over.

You push past him, heading in the direction of the door, but he grabs your arm, forcing you to look at him. His eyes are filled with anger, his jaw clenched tight.

"I can't believe you," he says through gritted teeth. "After everything I said, after all the warnings... you're just going to go through with it anyway?"

"Let go," you snap, trying to wrench your arm free.

He holds on, his voice low and intense. "If this guy does anything, anything at all, you call me. Understand?"

You meet his gaze, seeing the genuine concern in his eyes. Despite the argument, despite the tension, you know he means it.

"I hear you."

With that, he releases your arm and turns away, striding out of the apartment without another word. You watch him go, feeling a pang of guilt in your chest.

You sat across from your date, but your mind was elsewhere. The words exchanged with Seungcheol echoed in your head, drowning out any attempt at conversation. It was like you were just there physically, your mind a million miles away. – a date that meant nothing to you.

He tried to make small talk, but you could barely muster a response. Every smile felt forced, every laugh hollow. You couldn't enjoy the date, not when the weight of the argument with Seungcheol still hung heavy in your mind. 

When your phone buzzes with a message from Seungcheol, you jump, almost knocking over your drink. You quickly glance at the screen, your heart skipping a beat when you see his name.

"Are you home already?" the message reads.

You glanced at the time, realizing that it had been hours since you left the date early, claiming that you needed to go home. With a heavy sigh, you typed out a response: "Yes, I'm home."

After those messages, Seungcheol practically disappeared. Usually, your weekends were marked by his presence—his calls, his texts, him showing up at your front door with that familiar, easy smile. But this weekend, there was nothing. Not a single word from him.

By the time Tuesday rolled around, the silence was deafening. You took a long bath, trying to relax, but the empty space where Seungcheol's presence used to be was impossible to ignore. As you lay on your bed, you felt the temptation to pick up your phone and text him, just to break the silence.

The truth was, now that he wasn't around, everything seemed to remind you of him. The way he laughed, the way he teased you, the comfort of his touch and the warmth of his words. You realized how much you needed him—not just in your routine, but in your life. The thought of reaching out to him tugged at you, but your ego stood in the way.

Was it worth it? Was holding onto your pride worth the growing emptiness you felt without him?

You stared at the ceiling, the questions swirling in your mind. The minutes ticked by, each one feeling heavier than the last. You picked up your phone, your fingers hovering over the screen.

You dialed his number, putting the phone to your ear. The line beeped twice before he picked up, his voice coming through fast, "Y/N?"

Hearing his voice, you closed your eyes and sighed. "Cheol..." you murmured, the nickname slipping out naturally.

On the other end, you heard Seungcheol's breath hitch. He knew you only used that nickname when you were feeling particularly vulnerable, and he wondered if you needed him now. But he reminded himself to stay cold, at least for a moment—maybe you did need him. 

"What do you want, Y/N?" he asked, his tone carefully controlled.

You bit your lip, your heart pounding. "Where are you?" you asked, straining to hear the sounds of street movement in the background. He was definitely driving.

"I'm out," he replied curtly. "Why?"

"Out where?" you pressed, needing to know more.

He sighed, the sound heavy with frustration and something else you couldn't quite place. "Just driving around. Needed to clear my head."

You took a deep breath, summoning the courage to say what you needed to say. "Can you come over? I... I need to see you."

Another pause, longer this time. "Why, Y/N? Why now?"

"Because I miss you," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. "And because I can't stop thinking about you."

There was silence on the line, and for a moment, you feared he might hang up. But then you heard him exhale sharply. "I'll be there in ten."

The line went dead, and you lay back on your bed, staring at the ceiling as your heart raced.

When Seungcheol knocked on your door, you practically flew to open it. The scent of his cologne, the one you loved so much, filled the air as soon as you pulled the door open. He stood there in a leather jacket, black jeans, and that shirt you always told him looked amazing on him.

You wasted no time pulling him inside, closing the door behind him, and wrapping your arms tightly around him. You jumped up a bit so he could hold your legs, and he caught you effortlessly, pulling you close.

As he hugged you, his warmth enveloped you, and you melted into his embrace. His hands caressed your moisturized skin, sending shivers down your spine as he admired the contrast of your delicate babydoll against his rugged street clothing.

For a moment, everything else faded away—the arguments, the doubts, the uncertainty.

"Cheol..." you murmur against his neck, your voice barely above a whisper. He hums in response, his breath warm against your skin. You can't bring yourself to look into his eyes, feeling a vulnerability swirling inside you.

Suddenly, he gently grabs your hair, tilting your head up so that you're forced to meet his gaze. His eyes are intense, searching, emotions you can't quite decipher. But in that moment, you feel like he's seeing right through you, seeing all the things you're too afraid to say out loud.

Without another word, you lean in and kiss him, your lips meeting his in a desperate, longing embrace. His fingers press into the small of your back, pulling you closer, as he furrows his eyebrows, savoring the taste of your kiss like it's the first time all over again.

His tongue slips into your mouth, a silent plea for more, and you gladly oblige, deepening the kiss with every passing moment. Lost in each other, his arms wrapping tightly around you as he guides you towards the bedroom.

Seungcheol makes you sit on the edge of the bed, his hands deftly working to remove his leather jacket. You watch him, the strings of your babydoll falling from your shoulders as the fabric slides down, teasingly revealing hints of your curves.

Your lips are still stained red from the kiss, and your hair is slightly tousled from his grasp, but you can't tear your eyes away from him. There's a hunger in your gaze, a longing that mirrors his own, and he can't help but feel overwhelmed by it all.

As he stands before you, shirtless, he can't help but ask the question that's been burning in his mind since the moment he laid eyes on you. "Why do you do this to me?" he murmurs, his voice husky with desire.

"You drive me crazy, Y/N," he murmurs, his breath hot against your skin. "But I can't stay away from you."

You reach out, your fingers trembling slightly as they brush against his chest. "Then don't," you whisper, your voice filled with a desperate plea. "Stay with me."

His eyes darken with desire as he pushes you back onto the bed, a hunger burning in his gaze. His hands move with purpose, swiftly removing your babydoll, and he scoffs softly when he realizes you're wearing nothing underneath.

As his hand slides down between your thighs, finding you already wet and ready for him, you can't help but tremble under his touch. His fingers move roughly against your sensitive folds, teasing and taunting you.

But instead of giving you what you crave, he teases you, his touch tantalizingly slow as he savors every moment.

"Seungcheol," you whimper, your voice pleading for more.

But he only smirks, his lips trailing kisses down your body as he continues to tease you, building the anticipation until you're practically begging.

"What? That guy couldn't handle you?" Seungcheol asks with a devilish grin, his voice laced with amusement.

"Fuck, don't ask about this right now," you plead, trying to focus on the sensations he's stirring within you.

But he tilts his head, his curiosity piqued. "Why not?" he asks innocently, his fingers entering your pussy with a deliberate slowness that makes you arch your back in pleasure.

"Because we didn't... we didn't fuck," you manage to stammer out, your breath catching as his fingers find just the right spot inside you.

Seungcheol hums in satisfaction, his lips trailing kisses along your neck as he continues to work you with his skilled fingers. "Did you kiss him then?" he murmurs against your skin.

You moan softly, the sensation overwhelming as his fingers brush against your g'spot. "N-no," you gasp out, your mind consumed with the pleasure he's giving you. "Oh my god, Seungcheol, please..."

The filthy sounds emanating from your pussy made you blush furiously, but Seungcheol only smirked, clearly enjoying your embarrassment. "Why didn't you kiss him?" he asked, his voice laced with amusement, relishing in your struggle to answer as his fingers worked faster, driving you closer to the edge.

You squirmed beneath him, trying to form a coherent response amidst the overwhelming pleasure. "I-I don't know," you managed to gasp out, your breath hitching as his touch pushed you closer to the brink.

Seungcheol's smirk widened, his eyes gleaming with mischief as he continued to tease you relentlessly. "You don't know?" he repeated, his fingers working you with an expert precision that had you writhing beneath him.

You could barely think, let alone form a coherent response.

As Seungcheol's fingers entered and left you with lightning speed, you couldn't help but stare in disbelief at the blur of his forearm, moving so quickly it was almost a blur. Your back arched involuntarily as you let out a string of breathless "ah ah ah's," each one punctuated by the overwhelming pleasure coursing through your body.

Seungcheol knew exactly what he was doing, his movements calculated to drive you wild with ecstasy. 

Seungcheol knew you were close, could feel the tension building in your body with every movement of his hand. But just as you were on the brink of release, he stopped abruptly, leaving you panting and trembling with need.

"S-Seungcheol! No…"

You looked up at him, your eyes wide with frustration and desire, as he casually opened his jeans, a devilish grin playing on his lips. "You're trembling," he teased, his voice dripping with amusement as he watched your reaction.

Seungcheol takes his hard cock, slick with his own arousal, and grabs you by your hair roughly, pulling you close to him.

"You want this cock, don't you?" he growls, his breath hot against your skin. "You want my cock, you filthy little slut?"

You nod eagerly, your mouth hanging open in anticipation as you close your eyes, ready to take him in.

"That's it," he murmurs, a hint of satisfaction in his voice as he slaps his cock against your face, the sound echoing in the room. "You're such a fucking whore, begging for it like this."

You whimper at his words, the intensity of his desire fueling your own. You can feel yourself getting wetter with each slap of his cock against your face, and the way he bites his lip, the need for him consuming you completely.

"Tell me you want it," he demands, his grip on your hair tightening. "Tell me you want my cock inside you."

"I want it," you gasp out, your voice barely above a whisper. "I want your cock, Seungcheol. Please, give it to me."

With a satisfied smirk, he positions himself at your mouth, ready to give you exactly what you've been begging for. And as he thrusts forward, filling your mouth with his hard length, you can't help but moan in ecstasy, knowing that this is exactly where you belong.

Seungcheol's mouth falls agape, his face contorted in pleasure as you take him in so eagerly. He watches in awe as you moan around him, your hands sliding over his abs, making his skin shiver in your hands.

His frown quickly turns into a smirk of satisfaction, a low groan escaping his lips as he feels the warmth of your mouth enveloping him completely. He can't help but marvel at how good you feel, how perfectly you fit him, as he rocks his hips gently.

You continue to moan around him, your hands exploring every inch of his body, fueling his desire even more. 

"This mouth..." Seungcheol's voice is low and possessive as he tugs at your hair, his grip firm but not unkind. "This mouth is mine. Mine to kiss, mine to fuck."

With that declaration, he guides himself into your throat, the sudden invasion making your nose hit his pelvis. He holds you there for a moment, relishing the sensation of being engulfed by your warmth, before you instinctively gulp around him.

For a moment, he holds you there, the sensation of your throat tightening around him making him hiss in pleasure. You gulp around him, his grip tightens as he savors the moment.

"You're so fucking good at that,"

Then, with a sharp intake of breath, he pulls you off, a trail of saliva connecting you to him as he looks down at you with dark, hungry eyes. The sight of you—lips swollen, eyes glazed with lust—only fuels his desire further. He knows he's claimed you, body and soul, and there's nothing in the world that could feel more right.

Seungcheol's hand wraps around your throat, his grip firm but not too tight, creating a delicious pressure that makes you gasp for air. He pushes you further up the bed, his eyes locked onto yours with rage. His fingers around your neck feel like a beautiful, sinful necklace, a reminder of the control he holds over you in this moment.

"You have no idea how fucking mad you made me," he growls, his voice low and rough with emotion. "You drive me insane, Y/N. Always pushing my buttons, always making me want you more than anything."

As he confesses his frustration, you feel the head of his huge cock pressing against your entrance, stretching you slowly, filling you completely. The sensation is overwhelming, and tears slip down the sides of your face, mingling with the intense pleasure and the sweet pain of his grip on your throat.

"I can't stand it when you're with someone else," he continues, his thrusts slow and deliberate, making sure you feel every inch of him. "You belong to me. This body, this mouth, this pussy—all mine."

You gasp, the pressure of his cock stretching you almost too much to bear, but the feeling is intoxicating. "Seungcheol," you manage to choke out, your voice trembling with a mix of pain and pleasure.

He tightens his grip on your throat just a bit more, not enough to hurt, but enough to remind you of his dominance. "Do you feel that, Y/N? Do you feel how perfectly you fit around me? You're mine, and I'm going to make sure you never forget it."

He opens your legs wider, thrusting roughly inside you, the force of his movements making you scream. Your hands reach out, one gripping his arm while the other clutches the sheets with white-knuckled intensity. The pleasure and pain blend together, making it almost impossible to form coherent thoughts.

"Tell me you're mine," he demands, his voice a low growl. You stay quiet, the words caught in your throat, as if you couldn't hear him over the pounding of your heart and the relentless rhythm of his thrusts.

"Say it," he insists, his tone more forceful now. When you still don't respond, he suddenly stops, his cock buried deep inside you, his balls pressed tight against your cunt. The sudden stillness makes you sob with the force of the pressure, feeling him pressing against your g'spot, the sensation almost painful in its intensity. Your legs tremble uncontrollably, a testament to the power he holds over you.

Seungcheol glances down at you, his gaze hard and unwavering. He grabs your jaw, holding it firmly as he shakes your head slightly. "Say it," he repeats, his eyes boring into yours.

Between the overwhelming pleasure and the sharp edge of suffering, you manage to give him a sly smile, defiance flickering in your eyes. He narrows his gaze, recognizing the challenge in your expression.

Without warning, he delivers a sharp slap to your face, the sting of it sending a shock through your system. "Say it," he demands again, anger and desperation, his control slipping.

The slap jolts you back to reality, the raw intensity of the moment piercing through the haze. "I'm yours," you finally manage to gasp, your voice cracking.. "All yours, Seungcheol."

Seungcheol contains a smile, the satisfaction in his eyes unmistakable. He gives you another two light slaps on your face, the stinging sensation making your skin tingle. Then, with a show of his strength, he effortlessly flips you over, treating you like a doll, positioning you exactly how he wants.

Your chest presses against the mattress, your face buried in the sheets as you feel his hands gripping the meat of your ass, spreading you open for him. The vulnerability make your heart race, every nerve in your body on high alert.

Seungcheol's fingers dig into your flesh, holding you firmly as he lines himself up with your entrance. He pushes into you slowly at first, savoring the feeling of your walls clenching around him. Once he's fully inside, he pauses, his breath hot and heavy against your skin.

"Fuck, you're so tight," he groans, his voice a rough whisper of desire. "You feel so fucking good."

You can barely respond, your mind lost in the sensation of him filling you completely. He starts to move, his thrusts slow and deliberate at first, each one sending ripples of pleasure through your body.

"You're mine," he growls, his pace quickening, each thrust harder and deeper than the last. "Say it again."

"I'm yours," you moan, your voice muffled by the mattress. "Seungcheol."

He lets out a satisfied grunt, his fingers gripping your hips tightly as he pounds into you, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the room. The intensity of his movements drives you closer and closer to the edge, your body trembling with the force of his thrusts.

Seungcheol's hand slides up your back, tangling in your hair and pulling your head back slightly. "Don't forget it," he hisses, his breath hot against your ear. "You're mine, and I'll never let you go."

You moan undone, your breathless praise slipping from your lips—"That is so good, so good"—but before you can finish your sentence, you're cut off by a sharp thrust that makes you scream. 

Seungcheol coos,"I doubt anyone can find it like I do." 

He tightens his grip on your hair, pulling your head back so you're forced to arch your back, your screams echoing in the room as he hits just the right spot again and again. 

You can feel the tension building inside you, the need for release becoming almost overwhelming. "S-Seungcheol," you gasp out, your voice a desperate plea for more.

But he just smirks, his movements becoming even more precise, more calculated. He knows exactly what he's doing to you, and he's reveling in every moment of it.

Seungcheol is fucking you so hard that tears stream down your face, your body trembling with the intensity of his thrusts. You're almost afraid to lose yourself completely, to let go of all control.  Just when you think it can't get any more intense, his hands find your clit, and you can't help but squirm under his touch.

You whimper as he pulls you up against his chest, his fingers flicking your clit rapidly as he watches your reaction with dark, hungry eyes.

To make matters worse—or better, depending on how you look at it—his hand on your clit, sends jolts of pleasure through your already overloaded senses. You squirm and writhe beneath him, the stimulation almost too much to bear.

Your eyes roll back in your head, your breath coming in ragged gasps as you struggle to hold on to your sanity. "Breath," he demands, his voice a rough growl in your ear.

You try to comply, but the overwhelming pleasure makes it difficult to focus on anything else. "I-I can't," you gasp out, your voice barely above a whisper. "It's too much."

Seungcheol notices the sudden change in your demeanor, the absence of your usual moans and the way you've gone completely still, holding your breath as if frozen in time. Concern flashes across his face, his movements slowing as he registers the subtle signs of your impending climax.

"Y/N?" he murmurs, his voice softer now, laced with genuine concern, his fingers stilling against your clit. 

But you're lost, cumming, –almost chopping his dick off with your tight cunt– your body trembling with the force of your release, unable to respond to his touch or his words. You feel like you're floating, weightless and breathless, consumed by the overwhelming pleasure coursing through your veins.

With a gentle touch, he cups your face in his hands, his thumbs brushing away the tears that have gathered in the corners of your eyes. 

You try to respond, to reassure him that you're fine, that you're just overwhelmed by the intensity of the pleasure he's giving you. But all that comes out is a strangled whimper, your body still convulsing with the aftershocks of your orgasm.

Seungcheol's worry deepens, and he pulls you closer against his chest, holding you tightly as he strokes your hair soothingly. "Shh, it's okay," he murmurs, his voice gentle and reassuring. "Just breathe, baby. I've got you."

A strangled moan escapes your lips as your body softens against Seungcheol's, the intensity of your release leaving you jelly-like in his arms. Concern still lingering in his eyes, he asks softly, "Did you cum?"

You manage a breathless "Yes," a dizzy smile spreading across your lips as you gaze up at him.n "Are you going to fill me up this time?" 

Seungcheol's cock twitches at your words, the desire in his eyes almost palpable as he stutters out a response. "I-I... Are you sure?" he asks, his voice husky with need.

You swirl your hips against him, a teasing smile playing on your lips as you feel him grow even harder beneath you. His sharp intake of breath is all the answer you need, a silent confirmation of his desire.

"Please," you whisper, your voice barely a breath as you press your body against his, your hands trailing down his neck to grip his hips.

You always asked Seungcheol to fill you up, but he always denied. But now, as he presses you against the bed once again, you lie sideways, feeling his cock slide deep inside you. Your pussy is even tighter around him this time, the sensation almost overwhelming.

You glance up at him, doing that little face you know he loves—biting your lip, furrowing your eyebrows just so. His face contorts in pleasure and frustration when he sees you like this, and he lets out a string of curses.

"Fuck you, Y/N," he growls, his voice rough with desire. "Fuck you, why are you like this? Shit."

You can't help but smile, biting your lip as you watch the emotions play across his face. It's a game you both love to play.

Deep down, you knew that you messed with him, and deep down, he knew it too. It was a dynamic between you two that you couldn't deny. You loved to tease him, to push his buttons and see how far you could go, because it ignited something primal in both of you.

You loved the way he reacted to your teasing, the way his control slipped just a little more with each provocative glance or suggestive comment. And he, in turn, reveled in the challenge you presented, the way you pushed him to his limits and beyond.

In your mind, a film passed by, a vivid flashback to a night when you both decided to let your touches get wilder.

Seungcheol's hand gripped your tit, his lips trailing hot kisses along your neck as you moaned uncontrollably. You couldn't help but grind your clothed pussy against his clothed cock, the friction sending sparks of pleasure shooting through your body.

Suddenly, Seungcheol stopped, his grip tightening on your hips as he looked at you with a mix of desire and uncertainty. "No, no we—" he started to say, but you continued moving your hips, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

"Seungcheol," you gasped, your voice filled with need as you begged him to continue. He was reluctant, hesitant, but you could feel the tension building between you, the desire simmering just beneath the surface.

His hips mirrored your thrusts, a silent admission of the desire burning within him. 

He took all of your clothing, stripping you bare as he worshipped your body with his mouth. The sensation of his lips and tongue on your pussy was too much, bringing tears to your eyes as he gave his everything to please you.

You arched your back against his couch, your toes curling with pleasure as you moaned his name over and over again. Seungcheol's gaze never left yours, his eyes dark with desire as he savored every reaction, every gasp and moan that escaped your lips.

"Seungcheol, d-don't stop! Please, please!" your voice echoed in his mind, focusing on making you cum on his tongue, making you mark him with your essence. 

–

"Y/N, you slut," Seungcheol pants, his voice heavy with desire and frustration. He thrusts into you, his body trembling with the effort, his expression a mixture of pleasure and suffering. His mouth hangs open, his hair clinging to his face with sweat as he continues to drive into you relentlessly.

"You only make me suffer," he confesses, his voice raw with emotion. "But fuck, I can't help but want you. Every time I'm with you, I–"

You cut off his confession, your breath hitching as you feel another wave of pleasure building inside you. "I'm... I'm cumming again," you gasp out, the sudden declaration sending you hurtling towards the edge with newfound intensity.

Seungcheol's eyes widen with surprise at your abrupt interruption, but he doesn't miss a beat. He grips your hips tighter, his thrusts becoming even more relentless as he drives you towards the brink of ecstasy once again.

You glance up at him through heavy-lidded eyes, trying to keep them open despite the overwhelming pleasure coursing through your veins. His moans mingle with yours, the sound filling the room as you both surrender to the ecstasy of the moment.

And then, with a shuddering cry, you feel yourself tumbling over the edge once again, your body convulsing with pleasure as you ride out the waves of your orgasm. Seungcheol's movements become more erratic, more desperate, as he reaches his own peak, painting your insides with his hot cum.

His body almost collapses on top of yours, but he sustains himself with one arm, his breath coming in ragged gasps as he rides out the last throes of his climax. You clench and unclench around him, milking him for every drop of cum as you let out a relieved moan, the hot cum filling you like a reward.

As Seungcheol quietly gets up and heads to the bathroom, leaving you alone, you can't help but feel a sense of unease settle over you. It's unlike him to leave so abruptly after sex, especially when he usually prefers to linger, basking in the intimacy of the moment.

You wait for a moment, hoping that he'll return soon, but when he doesn't, your concern grows. Something doesn't feel right, and you can't shake the feeling that there's more to his sudden departure than meets the eye.

With a sense of trepidation, you push yourself up from the bed and make your way to the bathroom, your footsteps echoing in the quiet of the room. You hesitate for a moment outside the door, unsure of what you'll find on the other side.

Taking a deep breath to steady your nerves, you push open the door and step inside. The bathroom is dimly lit, the only source of illumination coming from the soft glow of the overhead light.

You find Seungcheol standing in front of the sink, his back turned to you as he splashes water on his face. His shoulders are tense, his movements stiff and mechanical, as if he's trying to wash away the weight of the world.

"Seungcheol?" you call out softly, your voice breaking the silence of the room.

He startles at the sound of your voice, his movements faltering for a moment before he turns to face you. His eyes are shadowed, his expression unreadable as he meets your gaze.

"Are you okay?" you ask, concern lacing your words as you step closer to him.

He hesitates for a moment, as if debating whether or not to confide in you, before finally nodding. "Yeah, I'm fine," he murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper.

But you can tell by the tension in his body, by the haunted look in his eyes, that he's anything but fine.

"I'm sorry for being a slut who makes you suffer," you say softly, your words heavy with remorse as you acknowledge the pain you've caused him. Deep down, you know that his hurt stems from your actions, from the tumultuous dynamic between you that often leaves both of you reeling.

But before you can dwell on your apology, Seungcheol rushes to reassure you, his words coming out in a hurried rush. "No, no, you're not," he insists, his voice firm as he looks at you with a mixture of concern and affection.

You exhale softly, feeling a weight lift off your shoulders at his words. But before you can say anything else, the confession spills out of you, unstoppable now that you've opened the floodgates.

"I blocked him," you admit, your voice barely above a whisper. 

"Hm?" Seungcheol's head tilt, confused.

"The guy from the date. Actually, I couldn't think about anything else but you, Seungcheol. That date... I wasn't even paying attention to that guy. I just wanted you. I'd rather have stayed with you that day, but I left, and I hurt you–"

But before you can finish your confession, Seungcheol cuts you off by pulling you into a tight embrace. His arms wrap around you, holding you close as if he never wants to let you go, as he presses a kiss to the top of your head. "It's okay, Y/N-nie," he murmurs, "I understand. And I'm here for you, no matter what."

Seungcheol hesitates for a moment, his brow furrowing with uncertainty as he asks, "Am I being selfish if I say that I want you to be mine, and no one else?"

You chuckle softly at his question, reaching up to brush a strand of hair away from his face. "Not at all," you reply, your voice gentle and reassuring. "I want to be yours, Seungcheol. No one else."

A flicker of relief passes over his features at your words, but there's still a hint of uncertainty in his eyes. "But... is it okay for me to want that?" he asks, his voice tinged with insecurity.

You smile, leaning in to press a soft kiss to his lips. "Of course it is," you murmur against his mouth. "In fact, it's more than okay. It's what I want too."

Seungcheol's eyes widen in surprise at your words, his expression softening with a mixture of disbelief and joy. "Really?" he asks, his voice barely above a whisper.

You nod, your smile widening as you take his hand in yours. "Really," you confirm.

[luvyeni]

🦢… ( drabble ) love blindness ̨ ! ୨୧ 一 양정원 ՞

⸃ ⸰ ⌁ ヾ

yandere!jungwon・ fem!reader ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ g ・ smut. yandere.‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ cw ・ manipulation. ‎unprotected sex. mentions of murder. wc ・ ‎0.7k ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎| ‎ ‎click to library

reaction. can you please do jungwon yandere smut? any concept !!!

「 ୨୧ authors note 」 my first wonie smut , it might be a little awkward I’m sorry 😔

love blindness; that’s what you have, at least that’s what your friends say. you don’t even see the signs. “he’s controlling.” your friends would warn. “he’s constantly there , why does he need to be next to you at all times?”

and to which you just flagged them off. “he’s just being a protective boyfriend.” you stated. “he knows this is my first relationship, so he’s just extra careful.” and maybe that’s why it was so easy; so easy for you to fall into his dangerous and torturous web. “he’s a good problem, i swear.”

no , no he wasn’t a good person; jungwon knew that. he was sick and twisted; and in love with you. “wonie!” he smiled waiting for you outside of the coffee place, he’d been there for the past hour, watching you — of course you didn’t know, you didn’t need to know. “hey baby.” he leaning over kissing your coffee tainted lips. “you have fun.”

you sat in the seat; frowning. “yeah i guess.” he caught on to your behavior. “did something happened?” you didn’t say anything, he grabbed your cheeks forcing you to look at him. “what’s wrong?” he said. “it’s just that my friends were saying something’s today.” you said , he let you go sitting back in his seat. “like what?” you shrugged. “just that you’re controlling and you’re just always there.”

he was seething; how fucking dare they taint your perfect image of him with their words. “they said that about me?” he was planning their brutal demise in his head , but he turned on his best smile just for you. “im sorry they made you sad , but it’s okay.” he said. “we aren’t gonna listen to them.” he placed his hand on your bare thigh. “okay?” you nodded, smiling innocently at him. “they’re just jealous they don’t have a boyfriend that loves you as much as i do.” he squeezed your thigh. “you look so pretty in this dress.”

“th-thank you.” you stuttered out, flustered. “my favorite color too.” his hands inching up your dress. “did you wear it for me?” you tried to suppress a moan as his finger swiped your clothes clit. “wo-wonie , fuck.” you sighed , he pinched in between your thighs. “watch your mouth , you aren’t a nasty slut like those friends of yours , you’re a good girl.” you nodded. “so-sorry.” he nodded , pulling his fingers away. “let’s get home.” his eyes full of lust.

“oh my god!” you moaned out, legs pinned up as he pounded into your sensitive cunt for the past few hours. “wo-wonie i can’t take it anymore.” you sobbed , tears streaming down your face due to his brutal thrust. “se-sensitive.” he loved getting you like this , making you cum over and over ; to the point you were shaking just from his cock touching your cunt. “yo-you can - fuck - you can take it.” his hands wrapping around your throat. “take it like a good girl.”

only he could get you like this; he was the only one who ever got you like this. “my perfect little fuck toy aren’t you?” he squeezed your neck. “letting me use your precious body like this.” losing himself inside you, making his obsessive nature towards you more come out. “minds , all mines.” he growled. “you’re all mines , no one else can have you.” he restricted your breathing even more. “i’ll kill anyone if they ever think about taking you away from me.”

you gasped out as he finally let your neck go , holding your waist pounding into your sopping cunt. “you gonna cum?” you nodded. “ye-yes!” you shouted in pure ecstasy, he smirked holding off on letting you cum , just to see you beg. “please please let me cum.” you sobbed out , eyes crossing. “look at you going dumb on my cock , just how i like it.” he moaned , feeling himself about to cum as well. “cum for me , be a good girl.”

that’s all you needed before your eyes rolled to back of your head , jaw slack as you came. “of fuck you’re clenching so much , gonna fucking cum.” he groaned. “gonna cum inside you -fuck- fuck fuck!” he thrusted one two three times before stilling his hips , his cum shooting from his twitching cock. “take my cum.” he whispered softly in your ear. “good girl.”

that’s how you saw jungwon; as a safe space for you, a protector of some sort. someone who would never do anything to you to harm you; but people who talk bad about him to you and make you think anything less — well that’s a different story.

like he told you … he’d kill anyone who thought they could take you away from him ….

©️LUVYENI

[pankowcrumbs]

The Other Side of Us X Oscar Piastri (Requested)

MasterList

F1 Masterlist

Requested: Oscar Piastri x Reader Best friends to lovers. He finally has the courage to tell her his feelings.

If you asked anyone in the paddock who Oscar Piastri’s best friend was, they’d point to me without hesitation.

It had always been us. Since karting days, when I’d been the awkward kid tagging along with my brother, and Oscar had been the quiet, polite boy who always saved me a seat under the tent. Over the years, we’d grown up side by side him behind the wheel, me in the garage with a stopwatch and too many snacks.

We were inseparable. But never more.

At least… that’s what I told myself.

Lately, though, it had felt different. Subtle shifts. The way his eyes lingered when I laughed too hard. How his hand brushed mine but didn’t move away. The text messages at 2 a.m. when he couldn’t sleep. The way he said my name like it held weight.

Still, I never dared to ask. Because if I was wrong, I didn’t want to lose him.

Today was a rare day off, and we were back in Melbourne. I was sat on the bonnet of his car, sipping a takeaway iced coffee while Oscar fidgeted with his keys.

"Why do you always tap them like that?” I asked, watching his fingers rhythmically tap against the steering wheel.

He glanced up. “Nervous habit, I think.”

“What’ve you got to be nervous about? You drive 300km an hour for fun.”

He smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

We were parked along the coast, waves crashing in the distance, the sky smeared in soft pinks and oranges. It was the kind of evening that begged for honesty. I wrapped my arms around my knees, my hoodie far too big because it was his, and I’d nicked it ages ago.

“You’ve been quiet,” I said gently.

He exhaled, running a hand through his hair. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.”

I turned to face him fully, my heart thudding. “Okay. You’re not quitting racing to become a surfer, are you?”

He laughed nervously. “No, although the thought’s crossed my mind after that last race.”

I smiled, but it faded as his expression turned serious.

“I’ve been thinking a lot,” he said, voice low. “About us.”

My breath caught.

“Oscar”

“Let me finish?” he interrupted gently, shifting to stand in front of me. His eyes locked on mine, uncertain but determined. “I’ve liked you for a while now. Actually, that’s not fair. I think I’ve been in love with you for longer than I even realised. I’ve just been too scared to ruin what we have.”

The world tilted slightly. I stared at him, blinking as if that might slow everything down.

“You... love me?” I echoed.

He laughed again, nervous and soft. “Yeah. I do. You’ve been my best mate since forever, and I didn’t want to mess that up. But pretending I didn’t feel it was starting to hurt more than the idea of telling you.”

I was speechless. And that never happened.

Oscar rubbed the back of his neck, stepping back slightly. “You don’t have to say anything. I just needed you to know.”

I slid off the bonnet and closed the space between us. He looked at me, open and vulnerable, and I saw every version of us flash before my eyes karting days, silly bets over milkshakes, race weekends, hotel room movies, bad jokes over comms.

And all I could think was: how had I not said it first?

“I was scared too,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. “I’ve been in love with you for months. Maybe longer. I just didn’t think you felt the same.”

His eyes widened, and then his whole face lit up, like someone had flicked a switch.

“You’re serious?”

I nodded. “Completely.”

The relief that washed over him made me laugh. Then his hands found my waist, gentle and unsure, as if asking for permission.

I leaned in first.

It wasn’t a grand kiss. No fireworks or swelling music. Just the soft press of two best friends realising they didn’t have to pretend anymore.

When we finally pulled apart, I stayed close, forehead resting against his.

“So… what now?” I asked.

“We keep doing everything we already do,” he said with a small grin. “Except now I get to hold your hand.”

“And kiss me.”

He smirked. “And kiss you.”

We stood there as the sky deepened into twilight, the waves below crashing with the same rhythm as my heart. For the first time, it felt like everything had shifted into place.

Oscar reached for my hand, lacing our fingers together like it was the most natural thing in the world.

[matt-murdockk]

Tolerate it

i made you my temple, my mural, my sky now i'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life

pairing: matt murdock x fem!reader

words: 1.7k

summary: He comes home bleeding. Again. You ask what's wrong. He kisses you instead. You let him— until you can't, not anymore. Love is not the problem. Silence is.

warnings: implied smut, detailed description of making out— almost smut actually but then a truckload of angst to balance the vibes, cussing, not a happy ending

a/n: i'd say sorry in advance but i'll be honest i enjoyed this way too much lmao. fic clearly based on tolerate it by taylor swift. special shoutout to the best person of all time @foreverwinterstan13, the person without whom this fic would not have existed at all, ilysm, this one's for you *shoots basketball into hoop and misses*

——————————————————————————————————

You heard the door unlock but didn’t move from the couch. You didn’t have to look. You could feel it— Matt’s presence in the way the air shifted. Heavy, worn out. Quiet. Keys in the bowl. Jacket on the hook. A slow, sharp inhale.

You stared straight ahead. “You’re late.”

No answer.

A few seconds passed. You heard him step into the room, that near-silent way he walked when he was trying not to show how much it hurt. You turned your head, eyes landing on him. Blood smeared across his temple. A bruise blooming near his jaw. His shirt was clinging to him with sweat, wrinkled, dark around the ribs.

You sat up straighter. “Matt—”

He crossed the room in two strides and kissed you. Just like that. No greeting, no warning. Just his mouth on yours— hot and urgent and desperate.

You froze for a second. Then you gave in. Because it was Matt. Because he knew exactly how to touch you, how to quiet every screaming part of your brain. Because he always came home like this— broken, aching— and you always let him.

His hands slid under your thighs, lifting you gently into his lap. You straddled him, arms wrapping around his shoulders, one hand threading into his hair. His breath hitched when your hips rolled forward, and you felt that familiar spark burn down your spine.

He kissed you deeper. Rougher. One hand slid under your shirt, the other bracing your waist like he was afraid you'd vanish.

You pulled back, barely, just enough to speak. “You’re bleeding.”

“Doesn’t matter,” he muttered, mouth chasing yours again.

“Matt—” you started, but his hand cupped the back of your neck and pulled you down. His lips moved to your throat, slow and reverent.

And God, it felt good. Too good.

You let him. You tilted your head and gave him more. His fingers brushed the underside of your bra and your breath stuttered.

“I’m serious,” you whispered, even as your hands tugged his shirt up. “You’re hurt.”

“I just need you,” he breathed.

And you wanted to believe that. You wanted to give him whatever he asked for. You wanted to lose yourself in him until you didn’t care what time it was or how fucked everything felt. So you let him keep going.

He laid you back on the couch, pressed kisses down your body. Your shirt was bunched around your ribs. You were shaking and aching and trying to hold yourself together.

“Matt…”

He kissed back up your sternum, across your chest, dragging his lips like he was memorizing you. Like he was sorry. Like he was praying. You arched into him, a broken sound in your throat. You loved him. You loved him so fucking much you could barely breathe.

But—

Your hands came up and pressed against his chest, not hard, but firm.

He paused, lips just under your jaw. “What?”

You were still catching your breath when you said, “I can’t keep doing this.”

His eyes opened— barely. He didn’t move.

You swallowed hard and sat up slowly, pushing his hands off you. “You walk in looking like you got hit by a truck, and you won’t talk to me. You kiss me like it’ll make it go away. Like I won’t notice.”

“I’m not trying to make anything go away,” he said, barely above a whisper. “I just—”

“You what?” you asked, searching his face. “You need a distraction? You want to forget about how much you're bleeding, so you touch me like I’m the one that needs saving?”

His jaw clenched. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?” Your voice rose, bitter now. “Say the part out loud? Because God forbid we ever talk about what this is.”

“You think I don’t care?” he shot back, rising to his feet. “You think I’d come home to you every night, let you see me like this, if I didn’t care?”

“I think you don’t let me in,” you snapped. “Not really. I think you come here because you like the idea of being loved. Because it’s warm and safe and I don’t ask you to be anything more than what you already are. You like feeling close to something good. Something safe. But when it really matters, you shut me out.”

“That’s not fair.”

You stood too, wrapping your arms around yourself. “No. What’s not fair is how I feel like a stranger in my own relationship. What’s not fair is how I spend every day wondering if you’re still in this, or if I’m just—”

You stopped yourself.

Matt’s voice was hoarse when he said, “Say it.”

You looked at him. “If I’m just something you tolerate.”

That landed like a fist to the gut. His head dropped slightly, like the weight of your words physically knocked something loose in him.

“You’re not,” he said, and for a second you almost believed it. “You’re not.”

“Then show me,” you whispered. “Tell me something real, Matt. Anything. Why won’t you let me all the way in?”

He didn’t answer. Just stood there, silent, the echo of his guilt ringing louder than words ever could. And that silence was worse than anything he could have said.

“Right,” you breathed. “That’s what I thought.”

You turned away from him, but he stepped forward. He took a step closer, hand half-lifting toward you like he wanted to close the gap, but he didn’t touch you. 

“I love you,” he said, voice breaking. “I love you more than I should. That’s the problem.”

You blinked, stunned for half a second. Then your expression hardened.

“Don’t turn this around on me,” you said sharply. “You chose to be in this. You let me in.”

“I know,” he murmured. “That’s where I went wrong.”

Your breath caught. “I’m sorry— what?”

Matt’s hands were at his sides, balled into fists, like he was holding himself together by a thread. He ran a hand through his hair, the motion sharp and messy.  “It was selfish. Wanting this. Wanting you. Wanting… a life.”

You stared at him, heart thudding in your chest.

“You think our relationship is a mistake?”

“I think I dragged you into something I never should’ve. I thought I could do both— be with you and still be… me. But who are we kidding, (Y/N)?” His voice broke again. “I can’t have normal. I can’t have domestic bliss and lazy Sundays and arguments about what kind of soap goes in the bathroom. I’m not built for that.”

You took a slow step back. “Don’t do this.”

“As cheesy as it sounds, I am doomed by the narrative,” he said, half-laughing, bitter. “I know how my story ends. Short. Bloody. Alone.”

“Stop—”

“I should’ve never brought you into it,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

You looked at him like you didn’t recognize the person standing in front of you. “Matt… I don’t need you to be someone else. I don’t need picket fences or lazy Sundays. I just need you. I need you to talk to me. To let me in.”

He didn’t answer.

“Don’t say things like that,” you said, voice shaking now. “You’re not alone. You don’t have to be.”

He looked at you for a long, aching second, and then said quietly, “Being with me is a constant trial. It’s always going to be like this—pain, fear, never knowing if I’m coming back, or God forbid, something happening to—” he stopped himself, jaw tight, and looked away. “I can’t do that to you. I won’t.”

“No.” You stepped closer, voice firm despite the crack in it. “I love you. I’ve chosen this. Chosen you. You don’t get to just—”

“I want us to remember each other in love,” he added, voice barely above a whisper. “Not as what we've become. Not as something broken.”

You stared at him, stunned. For a second, the room was silent except for your own heartbeat in your ears.

Then your voice cut through the quiet— sharp, shaking, furious.

“You don’t get to do that.”

Matt’s jaw tensed, but he didn’t speak.

“You don’t get to tell me you love me and then walk away like it means nothing. You don’t get to pull me into your world and then decide it was a mistake.”

“I never meant—”

“You did,” you snapped. “You said it. You think this was a mistake. Us. Me.”

He looked away.

You took a step forward, eyes burning. “You’re a fucking hypocrite, Matt. You told me to trust you. You said we’d figure it out. That we were in this together. But the second it got hard, you shut down. You ran.”

“I was trying to protect you.”

“Bullshit,” you bit out. “You were trying to protect yourself.”

He flinched.

You kept going. “You say you love me? Then prove it. Stay. Talk to me. Fight for this. You don’t just get to throw your hands up and disappear.”

Matt’s voice was low, but unyielding. “I’ve already done enough damage.”

You stared at him like you didn’t recognize him anymore. “Coward.”

His face tightened— hurt flickering under the surface— but he didn’t argue. Didn’t fight it.

You felt your throat close, the weight of it all crashing in.

“I love you,” you said, softer this time. Like maybe if you said it gently, it wouldn’t shatter between you. Like if you remind him one last time, he’d maybe change his mind.

Matt closed his eyes. His breath stuttered, chest tight like it hurt to contain it. He pressed the heel of his palm to his brow, like he could rub the thought of you away, like the words tasted wrong in his mouth before he even said them.

A slow exhale. A muscle jumping in his jaw. His shoulders dropping like surrender.

“It’ll pass.” 

a/n: oh yeah, i threw in a little fleabag :)

[i-dared-myself]

Flexing Rose

Wooyoung x reader

Idea by the lovely @yourfatherlucifer

In which Wooyoung really likes his new tattoo

18+

“Baby,” Wooyoung calls, voice echoing through the apartment. You hear him set his keys down. “Where are you?”

You stick your head out of the bedroom, brushing your hair. “Over here. What’s up? Long day at the studio?”

Wooyoung grins. “Yeah. Been thinking.”

You tilt your head, continuing with the hair brush. “About? Is something wrong?”

Wooyoung shakes his head and walks over, slipping his sweater off. Your apartment is small- small enough that you can watch him hang his jacket up from the bedroom doorway.

“You’ll find out.” He approaches and presses a gentle kiss to your forehead, smiling to himself.

You frown and put the brush down. “You’re acting weird. What did you do now?”

He laughs and picks up the brush, motioning for you to turn around. Wooyoung starts to run it through your hair, his touch soft and controlled.

“Are you going to tell me or not?” you demand impatiently. “You know I don’t like surprises.”

Wooyoung pauses to rake his fingers through your hair. He fists at it and gently tugs down to expose your throat. “Do you really want to know? Because I want to test something.”

You nod as best you can with his grip still pulling your head back. “Yes. I wanna know.”

Wooyoung places the brush down on your dresser. “Okay, I’ll be back in a minute. I have to go put my water bottle in the fridge.”

You watch him leave, kicking your slippers off. You scoot back onto the bed so you’re close to the headboard and cross your legs at the ankles as you wait for him.

Wooyoung returns with his sleeves rolled up. That gorgeous new tattoo of his sits there on his skin, black ink forming a rose.

“So…” You stare at him with an eyebrow raised. “What did you want to test?”

Wooyoung’s knee comes up to the bed and he lifts himself onto it. He entwines his fingers with yours and kisses your knuckles. “I want to see how it looks when I finger you. I think it’d look good with you dripping down it.”

You swallow thickly. “Oh.”

Wooyoung smiles and presses his forehead to yours. “Sound good?”

You hum. “Yeah. Sounds really good.”

Wooyoung grips your thighs, gently pushing them apart. “That’s my pretty doll.”

After he removes your undergarments, he reaches between your legs. He pushes a single finger into you and curls it slowly.

“Woo,” you whine. You can’t believe he’s still fully dressed, and has the audacity to be-

Your mind goes blank as he finds that spongy spot. You go all gooey and your mouth falls open.

“Yeah?” Wooyoung glances up at your face, eyebrows pulled together. When he realizes you don’t particularly need anything, he relaxes. “How many fingers do you think I can fit in this time? Are you gonna kiss my tattoo and beg for my cock next time?”

You practically keen when the second digit enters you, the fullness good. His fingers always felt better than yours and he knows it with that smug little grin he wears.

Wooyoung watches with fascination as his forearm flexes. The tattoo seems to move with each thrust of his fingers into you, so he thrusts harder.

You gasp and clutch at a pillow. “Woo- “ 

His movements continue, and he ignores your little cries, knowing what you’ll say if it’s too much. He’s too focused on how the rose looks as his fingers plunge in and out of you.

You notice the bulge in his pants. He’s obviously turned on by this, and you wonder how long he’s had this filthy idea in his head.

Wooyoung seems to read your mind. “I saw a thirst edit of my tattoo. Made me think about how you might think about it. Do you like it, baby?”

“I like it,” you tell him breathlessly.

“Here comes the third,” he murmurs to you. You feel the stretch of another one, looking up at his face. His eyes are locked on his arm, and it’s slightly humiliating how he’s not even paying attention to you.

But you kind of like it.

You can’t disagree that the ink looks sexy as all hell when the muscles beneath strain. It’s enough to make you clench, and Wooyoung groans lowly as you squeeze his fingers.

His thumb comes down to your clit at the same time as his lips slant over your mouth. Your sounds are muffled by him as his tongue dives into you.

Your orgasm washes over you suddenly. You arch your back and moan into his mouth.

Wooyoung pulls up to assess how his tattoo looks once again. The corners of his lips pull up in a satisfied manner. “I’m glad I got this.”

“Me too,” you say, grabbing at his shoulders. “Are you- Are you going to fuck me? Or is this just how we’re spending the night?”

“Is this not good enough for you?” Wooyoung bites his lip at you teasingly. “Because I think you remember what you have to do if you want my cock.”

“Wha-“ You suddenly remember what he had said earlier. What you had perceived as an off-handed comment. “Woo.”

“Yeah?” He flexes his forearm before flicking his eyes up to your face. “Something to say, baby?”

You wriggle away so that his fingers slide out of you, bending down. Wooyoung watches as you press a kiss to the petals of his rose.

He crawls atop you and his hand comes around your throat. “Now I wanna see what my tattoo looks like when I choke you.”

Taglist (Open):

@velvetmoonlght @jinnie-ret @hansmic

I stiiiilll have a fever so forgive me if it doesn’t make any sense.

[ashthesalamipiece]

can I request one where reader and katsuki are “best friends” until one day they have a argument and she ignores him and he gets clingy and jealous and finally confesses? please and thank you!

"Say You Won't Let Go"

You and Katsuki Bakugo had been best friends since your first year at U.A., a bond forged through sparring sessions, late-night studying, and silent support during your roughest days. People often mistook you for a couple, but you would always laugh it off — even if a tiny part of you wished it were true.

Katsuki was your person. Always had been. Always would be... or so you thought.

It started with something stupid.

He had been spending more time with Mina, Denki, and the others lately — and you noticed. It wasn't that you didn't want him to have other friends; it was just...you missed him. And when you finally worked up the courage to say something, it came out wrong.

"Maybe you should just go hang out with them then, if I'm so boring!"

Your voice cracked in the middle of it, and instead of seeing the hurt underneath, Katsuki bristled.

"Tch, don't be fuckin' stupid, (Y/N)."

"No, it's fine. I'm tired of being your backup plan, Bakugo."

You left before he could say anything else.

After that, you ignored him.

In the halls. At lunch. During training.

You weren’t cruel — you just... couldn't bear to pretend like nothing had changed.

---

At first, Katsuki thought you needed time to cool off.

Then a day passed. Then two.

By the end of the week, he was losing his mind.

It wasn’t just your absence — it was how easily you seemed to move on without him. Smiling at Kirishima, laughing with Sero, letting Todoroki carry your bag after a mission when you usually made Katsuki do it just to annoy him.

It made him angry.

It made him jealous.

It made him scared.

You had always been there. His constant. His anchor. And now? It felt like you were slipping right through his fingers.

---

He cornered you after training one afternoon, the setting sun painting the gymnasium in fiery colors.

"Oi," he barked, his voice harsh to mask the panic swelling in his chest.

You barely glanced at him. "I'm busy, Bakugo."

Hearing you say his last name so formally — like a stranger — was a punch to the gut.

"Don't fuckin' do that," he growled, stepping closer. "Don't act like I don't matter."

You bit your lip and looked away, crossing your arms defensively.

"What do you want from me, Katsuki?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

He faltered. His fists clenched at his sides.

"I want you to stop actin' like you don't fuckin' care!"

You blinked, stung by the rawness of his voice. "You have everyone else now. Go bother them."

"I don't want them!" Katsuki exploded, making you flinch. His chest heaved. His heart felt like it was going to tear through his ribs. "I want you. It's always been you, dumbass."

Silence.

You stared at him, stunned.

He took a shuddering breath, stepping closer, lowering his voice like a secret meant for you alone.

"I'm a fuckin' idiot. I didn't know how to say it. But... you're not my backup plan, (Y/N). You're my everything."

Your eyes burned.

You wanted to stay mad — to throw his words back at him and protect your heart — but the way he looked at you, desperate and terrified, broke down every wall you'd built.

Slowly, you shook your head. "You should've told me sooner, Katsuki..."

He hesitated, then cupped your face with rough, calloused hands, as if he was scared you'd disappear.

"I'm tellin' you now. Don't make me fuckin' beg."

You laughed wetly through your tears, clutching the front of his shirt to steady yourself.

"Idiot," you whispered. "I was in love with you this whole time."

Katsuki kissed you like a man drowning — fierce, wild, full of all the things he never knew how to say. And you kissed him back just as desperately, clinging to him like he was the only thing keeping you grounded.

Because he was.

Because he always had been.

---

Later that night, as you sat together on the roof of the dorms, his arm slung over your shoulders, he muttered into your hair:

"Never ignoring me again, got it?"

You smiled softly against his chest.

"Only if you promise the same."

Katsuki squeezed you tighter.

"Deal."

And this time, you both knew you meant forever.

[vanteguccir]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤTIKTOK TRENDS² * CHRIS STURNIOLO

SUMMARY　::　4 times that Y/N and Chris made a couple's trend on tiktok.

FEATURING　Chris Sturniolo x reader　REQUESTED?　yes.

WARNINGS　::　none.

AUTHOR'S NOTE　::　that is my work, I DON'T authorize any form of plagiarism; copy, "inspiration" or translation! | english isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

A/N²　::　part 1 || part 3 || part 4

1.

Y/N placed her phone on the phone holder that stayed on the dashboard of her car, reducing the brightness of the screen and opening the camera app, clicking on the video tab and pressing play on the red button.

She had just left the beauty salon where she had done her nails, cleaned her eyebrows, and waxed her body. Y/N and Chris had agreed for her to pick him up at their house after her beauty moment, so the two of them had lunch together.

The girl decided to browse her For You while she waited for him with her car parked in front of the entrance. One of the first videos that appeared was of a new prank between couples. A smirk appeared on her face, and she quickly decided to do it with Chris. The fact that she had just left the beauty salon would make everything more truthful.

Moments later, she saw Chris open the front door of their house, quickly shouting something into the hall before closing it - probably saying goodbye to his brothers. Y/N smiled briefly at her phone before taking a deep breath, trying to compose herself.

"Hi baby!" Chris greeted as soon as he opened the passenger seat door, getting into the car quickly and closing it, not needing to adjust the position or height of the seat, as that was his place and it was always ready for him - he was obviously the passenger princess of the relationship.

"Hi, my love." Y/N spoke back, turning her upper body towards him with a small smile on her face.

"Let me see them." The boy held out his hands, waiting for his girlfriend to show him her manicured nails, as they always did after she did them.

Y/N let out a laugh and raised her hands, resting her palms on top of his and wiggling her fingers lightly, feeling her cheeks burn in shyness.

Chris ran his blue eyes momentarily over her nails, his mouth opening in surprise at the choice before lifting his girl's hands carefully so as not to smudge the fresh nail polish.

He brought his lips closer to the top of her hands, sealing the soft skin, exhaling the fragrance of the cream that her manicurist always applied before gently releasing them.

"They're beautiful, baby!"

"Thank you! The eyebrows look amazing, too, and I had the best waxing experience today." Y/N had a big smile on her face, gesturing lightly. "James did exactly how I wanted-"

"Wait, James?" Chris felt his heart skip a beat, freezing in place and staring at his girlfriend, almost begging with his eyes to have heard her wrong.

"Yes, James. He was so kind and thoughtful-"

"No, no." Chris raised his right hand with his palm pointed at his girlfriend's face, cutting her off again. "I'm kind and thoughtful, not... this James guy." He shook his head, a look of disbelief on his face.

"Yes, you are, honey. But so was he, and he cleaned all the places I wanted-"

"What? Did he see you naked? While you were spread-legged? In the air?" Chris widened his eyes comically. "No, we're going to stop at a pharmacy right now, and I'm going to buy all the items for waxing. If this James guy can do it, so can I." His voice came out high and thin. He turned his body so that he could reach the seat belt, crossing it over his body and closing it.

Y/N laughed loudly at his words, observing him.

"Come on, what are you waiting for?" Chris ordered, waving his right hand in a "let's go" gesture.

Y/N raised her arms in surrender, laughter still escaping her mouth as her head shook in denial. She brought her right hand to the key in the ignition, starting the engine.

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

2.

Y/N propped her phone on the kitchen table so that the front camera caught the image of her and Chris, who was standing behind her with a straight look on his face, his hands resting in the front pockets of his Fresh Love sweatpants.

Y/N had asked him to record a video with her, but she didn't explain what it was about.

The girl clicked the red button on the TikTok camera, moving slightly away from her cell and positioning herself in front of Chris.

"If you want to get to him, you've gonna have to go through me first." Her tone was serious, and her eyebrow was raised. She extended her right hand and pointed it at Chris.

"Ooh, Y/N got Matt's toughness." Chris commented, nodding his head with a slight smile on his face.

Y/N laughed, turning around and facing him. She rested her hands on Chris's covered chest and stood on tiptoe, sealing her lips over his quickly.

The brunette lowered his head, still with his eyes closed, seeming to search for Y/N's lips again.

She chuckled softly at his reaction before turning to the camera, crossing her arms.

"Best brother ever." The girl added, her eyes focused on the image of Chris behind her that appeared on her phone screen.

The boy's eyes widened instantly, lifting his head and looking at her exasperatedly, his mouth opening into a perfect O.

"What the fuck? We're not in Alabama, Y/N." Chris practically screamed, taking some steps away from his girlfriend with his hands raised, feeling suddenly dizzy.

The girl threw her head back, laughing at the reaction she received.

"Oh yeah, sweet home, Alabama." Nick's voice sounded from behind her phone before the TikTok ended.

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

3.

Y/N's phone was on the computer desk in her shared room with Chris, the back of it resting against the computer so that the screen was vertical and facing the room. The TikTok camera was already open and ready to start recording.

Y/N clicked the red button, and as the 5-second timer started, she sat on Chris's lap, who was in his gaming chair. The girl adjusted herself slightly, smiling when she felt Chris wrap his arms securely around her waist, squeezing her lightly.

"Okay, today we're going to do the best couples therapy: we're gonna talk about the icks we have in each other." Y/N began as she saw the video start recording, turning her face to the right so that she could see Chris, who was smiling and nodding his head.

Y/N stretched her torso and picked up two sheets of paper that were on the computer desk, keeping one with herself and giving the other to Chris, who held it in his left hand, lifting it so he could read the list over her shoulder.

"Do you want to start, baby?" He asked Y/N, receiving a nod in response.

"First on the list, when we're talking and you burp in my face and blow the smell to my direction." Y/N skimmed the list briefly, raising her head and crossing her arms, glancing at Chris from the corner of her eye.

The boy opened his mouth in exaggerated offense, eyes widening.

"You hurt me like that, that's a new love language, don't you know?" He teased, shaking his head and closing his eyes, pretending to be disappointed.

"No, that's disgusting." She pushed her shoulder back slightly, slamming it against his chest and receiving a chuckle in response. "Your turn."

"When you wear that black cropped with silver details. It's horrible." Chris wrinkled his nose, putting the sheet down after reading it again.

"I love that cropped!" The girl turned her upper body to the left, turning her face and looking at her boyfriend with an offended expression. "In fact, I didn't find it on my side of the closet anymore." She added, squinting her eyes.

"Yeah, it's been gone a long time, ma." Chris shrugged. "You didn't even like it that much. Otherwise, you would have noticed it disappearing." He quickly added upon seeing the angry expression on his girlfriend's face, raising his left hand and scratching his nape slightly, a nervous laugh escaping his lips.

"We'll talk about this later." Y/N muttered, turning forward again and reading the second item on her list. "My second ick is when it gets to the end of the day, and you're too tired to shower, so you just lie in our bed in the clothes you've been wearing all day-"

Chris opened his mouth to retort, but Y/N extended her left hand, raising her index finger, stopping him.

"And I have to pull you out of bed and practically drag you to the bathroom so you can finally take a shower." She finished, turning her face towards him and raising her right eyebrow, as if to say "I dare you to contradict me".

"It's okay, I admit it, I hate showering when I'm tired. I didn't even sweat during the day!" Chris defended himself, eyes widening and instantly shutting up when he saw the look in his girl's eyes.

"Next!" She announced loudly with gritted teeth.

"My other ick is when you can't choose what or where you want to eat." Chris read the last item on his list before stretching slightly and placing the paper on the computer desk. "It's not that deep, you know? It's not your last meal. Just choose the damn food!"

"But it is that deep, food is something very serious, baby. You have to choose what you want to eat very carefully. It's the most important thing in the world-"

"Hey, I'm the most important thing in the world!" Chris interrupted his girlfriend's sentence, raising his left hand as his eyes widened, his voice coming out loud.

Y/N threw her head back, a laugh escaping her throat.

"Okay, I'll say one more. It's my last." Y/N announced, clearing her throat and looking at her paper.

"But you asked me to think of just two icks." Chris muttered, raising his right eyebrow in confusion.

"Obviously, I don't have more than two icks, I'm too awesome to have more." She rolled her eyes playfully, lifting her chin in the air in an act of false snobbery.

Chris tried to hold back his laughter, smiling slightly while rolling his eyes.

"Okay, so, when you, out of nowhere, start punching the air right in front of me. Like you're going to punch me in the stomach or something, you look like a weird kid who just got out of karate class." Y/N finished her list, throwing the paper on the floor and smiling at the camera, waiting for Chris to respond.

"Yeah, how do you want me to train to smash the faces of the crazy guys who hit on you?"

"Chris!"

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

4.

(This takes place in the same universe as "Sleeping prank | Chris Sturniolo", when Y/N and Chris wake up and realize the prank Nick played on them)

"Matt, what are you doing?" Nick asked as he looked up after hearing footsteps in his direction, seeing Matt approaching with his own phone in his hand, and the rear camera pointed at the oldest.

His phone screen displayed the TikTok camera, already recording.

"There's a couple really mad at you right now." Matt announced, biting his bottom lip to contain his laughter.

Nick's eyes widened, getting up from the bed where he was sitting, standing and taking a few steps back, almost gluing his back against the large windows of the hotel room.

"Tell me you didn't show them the prank video?" Nick asked, looking at Matt with terror in his eyes. They were supposed to see when he posted the vlog many weeks ahead. Chris could be very vindictive when he wanted to.

"Nicolas Antonio Sturniolo!" The female voice echoed from behind the bedroom door, which was opened seconds later by a Y/N with crossed arms and an angry look.

Nick automatically raised his arms in surrender, smiling nervously.

"I can explain-"

"Did you see my horrible sleeping face? You're crazy!" The girl spoke calmly, squinting her eyes as she took slow steps towards him.

"No, you're wrong. You looked beautiful." Nick spoke nervously, nodding his head, keeping his arms raised.

Chris's loud laugh was the last sound Matt recorded before the video ended.

© vanteguccir

[no-144444]

one for leaving- d.ricciardo

꩜ summary: something changes...

꩜ pairing: daniel ricciardo x fem! reader

Daniel had always been around. 

Even as a child, you watched as he carved out his own immovable space in your life. He was persistent, he was fast, and he didn’t often take no for an answer. He was funny. Always laughing. Smarter than anyone realised. The first time he asked you out, he did it for your school formal, and he made a big sign, basically begging you to go. You never thought he’d liked you like that, and you were ecstatic. What followed was years and years of bliss. Years where you got to know him, learning every habit, every trait, every phobia, every fucking twitch of his lip, and what it meant. You pulled him out of McLaren, and you made it alright. You supported him at every race. You waited for him.  

So, you’d think you’d know him by now. You’d think you could… understand him, by now. Losing F1, it was hard, but you’d stood by his side, being the pillar of strength he needed, pulling him up by his bootstraps and reminding him who he was. Reminding him that he was Daniel fucking Ricciardo, and he had a lot more life to live beyond some silly cars. And that worked. 

For a while. 

Then reminders crept in, and the arguments started. You only wanted what was best, and you knew if he continued watching and staring and reminiscing, he’d be miserable. And you were right. A particularly bad day meant he told you your ideas for your (long overdue) wedding were stupid and silly, and you recoiled. He knew you were right to, and he knew this wasn’t your fault.

He just didn’t know how to tell you.  

“What’s wrong?” you asked, your voice cautious. That’s all you’d been for weeks… cautious. After the fight, Daniel had stepped away from you, and the distance was only growing. He sighed beside you. 

“Nothing,” he shrugged. “Just busy these past weeks,” he shook his head, a soft smile on his lips. You fiddled with your ring. 

“Are you sure? If something’s wrong, you can tell me,” your voice was tender. More tender than he’d even heard it. He was quiet. “Please just let me back in.” 

Something snapped. He looked down, and you felt it. That terrible ache in your chest that had settled all those weeks ago finally opened, at the same time Daniel’s mouth did. “I don’t want to get married anymore,” he admitted, clasping his hands together as he evaded your gaze. It was almost pathetic. He was wearing a shirt you’d washed and ironed, he was sitting on a couch you picked out, having eaten food you’d prepared. 

And he didn’t want you. 

You nodded, attempting to soften the impact the lump in your throat would have on your voice. “Alright,” you slid the engagement ring off your finger and dropped it in his lap. “Anything else?”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, emotions overtaking his voice. “I’m so sorry. You deserve so much more than this, than me.” 

You huffed, standing up. “Maybe that’s true,” you shrugged, picking up your plates and taking them to the sink. “But that’s not reality, and I hav- had you.”

“I just-” 

“I don’t really care for your explanation Daniel,” you sighed. “I’ll pack up my stuff during the week, alright?” 

“Alright,” he nodded, following behind you, stopping when he was just a foot away. “I’m sorry-”

“You don’t need to keep saying that,” you turned to him. “You don’t love me anymore, it’s fine.” 

“It’s not though, is it?” he mused, prolonging both of your suffering. “I’ve tried and I just… can’t. I don’t know why. I want to. I really want to, because I think you’re a great person. You’re funny, and you’re beautiful, you’re so smart, and fucking- I don’t know! I don’t understand why I can’t love you like I want to,” he crossed his arms, frustrated. “And it’s not because of you,” he assured you, but your self-confidence was already shot, so it didn’t matter, even if he’d blamed you. “I just… there’s something wrong with me.” 

“Sure,” you shrugged. “That’s fine.”

“Why are you so okay right now?” he asked.  You stared at him for a moment. Really stared. This would probably be the last time you’d see him upclose in real life. A sad smile made its way onto your lips, and you couldn’t hold back the tears in your eyes. “You’ve always been one for leaving Daniel, it was only a matter of time.”

navigation for my blog :)

redbull and vcarb masterlist

[kookxmira]

Workaholic 2 | Jeon Jungkook

"are you giving up already baby? it hasn't even been five minutes."

smut

ceo!jungkook x wife!reader

summary : you don’t know how to ride a dildo, so who’s going to teach you?

WARNING : masturbation, dildo use, teasing, kissing, oral (f receiving), fingering, penetrative sex, encouragement, degradation, riding, squirting, overstimulation

word count : 2.8k

part 1

-

the unexpected gift from one of your girl friends scream out to you, seeking your attention as you've been intentionally avoiding it.

it's tempting, to say the least as it's all you've been thinking about today.

you had never owned a dildo you before, never even put much consideration into buying one because by the time you did want one, jungkook was already fucking you within six months of your guy's relationship.

it's crazy how time flies by so fast and now you're both married.

the clock has only strike five in the afternoon and jungkook doesn't return home until god knows when, but most likely after midnight.

you're consumed by frustration, completely bored out of your mind as you crave for something fun and exciting, but the only thing that pops in your mind is fucking yourself with the realistic looking dick.

you tried your best to stop yourself cause you know jungkook wouldn't be pleased with it, but you give in, letting your desires get the best of you as you glide out of your bed.

you can't afford to make a mess on the bed again so you grab the lube from the nightstand before you enter the spacious bathroom, setting the toy down by the bathtub.

you sit in a moment of silence as you observe it. you'd never say it's the same size as jungkook's. it's nothing compared to his, but your pussy still aches in excitement to be filled.

you pull your silky nightgown up your thighs and rub the lube around the toy before slowly inserting it inside you.

"f-fuck," you whine, biting your bottom lip.

you finally sink all the way down and the silicon plunges deep inside your needy hole, being sucked so tight that you almost feel sorry.

you never thought a fake dick could make you feel this full.

you begin to bounce up and down, moaning from how good it feels to be filled up again as you imagine the girth of your husband's cock.

you think of the way he treats you during sex, the way he tells you what to do and how to do it. you imagine him laying down, hands on your ass as he praises you for being such a good girl.

he'd spank your ass every time you did something wrong or he'd fuck you harder just to hear your desperate little cries.

he'd do everything he can to make you feel good and act like a slut begging for more.

after a couple minutes, you scrunch your face while focusing on your building orgasm, but it comes and goes. one second you feel your orgasm approaching and one second it stops.

you don't usually ride jungkook and if you had, it was only for a brief second before he'd flip you on your back and fuck you himself. he's always been one to take control, he loves it, and you never minded it.

but one consequence of jungkook fucking you all the time is that you don't even know how to fuck yourself.

"s-shit," you moan, adjusting yourself from angle to angle to find your g-spot. frustration begins to build up and you whine.

"i want to c-cum.. please," you beg pathetically while speeding up the pace. you can almost feel your g-spot as your face contorts in pleasure with small frustrated tears slipping down your cheeks.

you're too focused on your orgasm to have seen the shadow in the bedroom, to see your husband who's arrived home a couple minutes ago expecting to be greeted by his wife, but is greeted by something naughty instead.

he raises a brow, listening to your shameless moans.

but what's also shameless is leaving the door wide open, giving anyone who enters the room a chance to see you desperately chasing an orgasm.

if jungkook was shocked, he didn't show it, but instead, he smirks in amusement.

he crosses his arms, leaning against the door frame as he debates whether to interrupt or not. but he's gotta let his wife know that her sweet husband's home.

"keep going baby, you're almost there," jungkook speaks and immediately you're body stills, heart skipping a beat at the sound of your husband's voice.

your eyes catch his.

"j-jungkook," you stutter, instantly feeling embarrassed at being caught. you quickly remove yourself from the toy, standing up on your wobbly feet.

but blood rushes to your cheeks at how wet you've made the toy, feeling sticky liquid drip down the inside of your thigh.

"i-i..." you think of what to say, trying to hide your wetness by pulling your nightgown down.

"why'd you stop?.... i was enjoying the view," jungkook inquires, poking the inside of his mouth to hide the smug grin that threatens to escape.

you nervously bite your lip, hands fidgeting with each other as your gaze remains low to avoid his strong gaze.

"oh baby," he coos, walking toward you. "you were enjoying yourself, weren't you?" he smirks.

your cheeks get warmer and your heart beats like crazy.

"y-yes," you reply.

jungkook grips your chin, forcing you to look at him as he slightly bites his lips. he can feel his cock starting to harden. how could it not?

"where'd you get the toy huh?" jungkook asks.

he always keeps track of his bank account. he knows what you purchase and how much it cost, but never once did he see any purchase from a sex shop.

"areum gifted it to me," you answer truthfully.

jungkook raises a brow as he tilts his head.

"baby. why would she buy you a fake dick when there's a real one right here?" he says, bringing your warm hand to the growing cock in his pants.

"it was just a gift," you say, shifting uncomfortably on your feet.

jungkook looks down.

"you're dripping wet.. are you sure someone didn't just fuck their cum in you?" he jokes.

"shut up," you let out, a small shy smile plastering your face.

"yeah?" he smirks.

you shriek in surprise when jungkook lifts you up on the bathroom counter, immediately diving into your dripping pussy without a warning.

"ah!- fuck!" you cry, feeling him force your legs open even wider. he lifts your legs to rest on top his shoulder as dives into your clit, two fingers inserting themselves inside your pussy.

"hmm you're so good-"

your breath gets knocked out of you as his fingers play with the inside of you, poking every sensitive spot that you have.

your orgasm builds up fast, it always does when jungkook's the one doing it.

"ahh fuck," you scream, hands gripping the counter.

he pulls away from your clit, continuing his strokes with his fingers as he looks at you, mouth wet from your slick.

"you couldn't find it, could you?" jungkook asks, although he already knows the answer.

you breath rapidly, trying to comprehend his words while the pleasure builds up in your body.

"w-what?" you let out.

"the spot that makes you go absolutely fucking crazy.." he says, giving a crooked smile.

"hmm," you hum, nodding your head.

you scream loudly when he suddenly touches it.

"jungkook!" you cry, reaching his hair to burry his face deeper, but instead you yelp when he suddenly picks you up.

your legs wrap around his waist as he carries you toward the neatly made bed.

"jungkook, the sheets," you try to warn, but he shuts you up, kissing your cherry flavored lips.

he removes his clothes then flips you over, having you straddle his toned thighs.

"what are you doing?" you question, not used to being in this position.

he leans half of his body against the bed frame, getting comfortable before he nods his head at his hard big cock.

"w-what?" you blink.

"ride it baby."

he waits patiently, staring deep into your shy eyes as you hesitate.

you hover above his aching member, your hands on his shoulder to support your weight as you adjust yourself before gradually sinking down.

"ah shit.." you exhale, biting your bottom lip at how much fuller his cock is compared to the stupid toy.

you look deep into his handsome eyes, breathing in his minty breath against your face. you caress his cheek, holding in a loud moan from how deep he is.

your other hand goes down caress his hard abs, loving the feeling of how tone they feel against your small hand.

"go on baby, bounce on it," he demands. "bounce on it like you were fucking that stupid toy," he says, slapping your ass harshly.

you bounce once and moan loudly, causing jungkook to laugh mockingly.

"awe baby, does my cock feel that good?" he sniggers.

you move up and down again, trying to keep a constant pace as you hold onto his shoulders tightly.

"yess," you puff.

jungkook thinks your nightgown looks like a dream on you, but not as dreamy as your tits that he desperately needs to see.

he lifts the silky nightgown above your chest, watching your beautiful tits jiggle every time you smash down on his cock.

sweat builds up on your forehead and neck, your hair sticking to the skin as you gasp for air.

jungkook sees you concentrating hard, trying to remain a constant pace while also finding your wondrous g-spot, but it takes you a while.

he finds it amusing that you hardly know how to fuck yourself.

"please.. i need to cum," you cry out, voice sounding absolutely whiny and slutty.

"is my wife needy to cum?" he grunts, one hand on your hips while the other squeezes your tits.

"y-yes jungkook! i haven't cum.. in soo l-long.. i just need your cock to fuck me soo good" you confess, a little tear streaming down your pink cheek.

"you haven't cum in so long?" he laughs wickedly, "is that why you're acting like a bitch in heat yeah?" he smacks your tits and you whine from how much pleasure that brings you.

"i guess you're just my slutty wife who's always begging to get fucked," he comments and you tighten around him.

"yes i'm such a slutty wife," you moan out, shutting your eyes for brief second.

"fuck y/n, you're the most beautiful person ever," he tells you, groaning in pleasure. he feels his cock hardening even more than it was before and he grits his teeth.

"i- love you," you cry with the most genuine tone while also looking so slutty.

"yeah?" he teases, knowing you hate it when he doesn't say those three words back.

"i love you too," he grunts, feeling himself about to explode his seeds into you, but he holds it.

he's learned how to control his orgasms when it comes to you, especially since you make him cum within minutes of sex.

jungkook hears your breath become significantly irregular, your thighs quivering from your muscles becoming weak.

"j-jung-" you can barely mutter, body becoming tired. "help me p-please," you beg.

he wanted to see how long it'd take you to ask for help, apparently it took a while as you were determined to make yourself cum on his cock.

"want me to take over?" he inquires while pulling your nightgown over your head to reveal all of your bare body.

"yes please," you plead.

"come on baby you can do it, learn how to make yourself fall apart on me," he encourages, placing one arm over your back to support your tired body while the other grabs a hold of your sweaty neck.

he loves this view.

"i- can't," you whine, completely exhausted.

"you can. i know my good girl can do anything for me," he says with a lopsided smile. he nods his head to motivate you to go on.

you look like you're mad, eyebrows scrunched and teeth gritted, but to jungkook it's cute. he knows you're just trying to push yourself to do as he says while his sweet voice helps soothe your doubts and distress.

"you know that spot i touch? the spot that makes you squirt like crazy" he asks in a whisper, and your pussy drips even more at the memories.

"y-es," you mutter.

"try and find it," he commands.

"i did- i tried to find it, but i cou-"

"try and find it," jungkook repeats in a stern tone, pulling you closer.

you gulp down the lump in your throat before forcing yourself to slowly bounce on his still hard cock.

you angle yourself and slam down, not feeling that familiar toe curling pleasure. you try again... over and over as you try to keep a pace going.

you whine at how good he feels though as he reaches places inside you that you didn't even know were there.

"you're not trying hard enough," he chuckles, biting his lip.

you furrow your brows.

"i am trying so- hard right now," you groan, sweat beginning to drip down your neck again.

he chuckles in amusement.

you lean down to his ear to find another angle.

"can i get a hint?" you murmur softly, eyes looking so innocent and desperate. there's a pout on your lip as you wait for him to answer.

"are you giving up already baby? it hasn't even been five minutes," he tells you and you close your eyes in exasperation.

you just want to cum. your pussy is screaming at you, begging, crying, tightening in pure desperation.

you don't know if you can please him this time.

"my wife is such a slut," jungkook groans, pushing the sweaty hairs that cover your pretty face.

he could cum from your face alone.

your chest heaves up and down rapidly from how out of breath you are, but you remain in action.

and after a few seconds, jungkook gives in, not wanting you to overwork yourself anymore.

"stop," he commands and you instantly halt your actions, gulping down a breath.

he caresses your hot cheeks and pecks your lip.

"sink your pussy all the way down."

you immediately do as he says and sink all the down.

he grabs your hands, placing one of them on his pec and the other on your stomach. he pushes your hand against your stomach and you feel a bulge.

"feel that?" jungkook inquired with a smirk.

"f-fuck yes," you moan, extremely turned on at how big his dick is to the point where you can feel it through your stomach.

"move forward slightly, toward me," he instructs and that's when you feel it.

"oh!" you yelp, feeling air get knocked out of your lungs as you body falls forward on jungkook, already feeling yourself shake from a coming orgasm.

"ahhh! f-fuck!" you scream from the familiar overwhelming pleasurable feeling that you love so goddamn much.

you roughly bounce on his creamy cock, going cross eyed for a split second at the continuous pounding against your g-spot.

jungkook groans at that.

"yeah baby, just like that," he lowly mutters.

your nails dig into his skin and your thighs shake uncontrollably. you're unable to control your body anymore as you feel like you're floating on air.

all the sudden your tired body becomes so energetic, knowing well that you're about to get you've wanted this whole day.

"it feels so good!" you sob.

"you feel that yeah?" jungkook chuckles. "feel that wet spongy spot that is making you act like a fucking whore?" he spits, eyes dark.

you nod your head.

"keep that in mind.. so that the next time you fuck yourself on dumb fucking toy without my permission, you'll know that pathetic toy won't even reach it. only i can," he spits and his words are enough to bring you to heaven as you moan like the sluttiest whore in the world.

your pussy clenches, forcing jungkook's cock out of your hole as you squirt all over the bed and his thighs.

jungkook rubs your clit rapidly and you scream even more as you fall into his arms, but he holds you up.

"fuck jungkook!" you sob, gushing another set of liquid down on the bed.

your body convulses so hard that you're unable to remove jungkook's hands away from overstimulating you.

he rubs your clit a couple more times and your body completely gives out as you see black for a brief moment, which is when he finally stops.

you're gasping for air as you open your eyes and jungkook quickly puts you on your back as he checks to make sure you're okay.

once you regain your breath which takes a couple minutes, jungkook gently caresses your cheeks to wipe the tears from off your face.

"you okay?" he asks, a chuckle escaping his lips.

you feel like you're still in heaven as the euphoric feeling remains.

you smile euphorically as you giggle.

"that was so good," you tell him.

"hmm yeah?" jungkook bites his lip, satisfied at how happy you look right now. that's all he ever wants to see.

"better than that fucking dildo huh?" he spits.

you blush, looking away for a brief second before you return your gaze back to him.

"i didn't know you were coming home early," you say.

he chuckles, kissing your lips.

"i actually have something to tell you," jungkook says and your heart stops for a second as you raise a brow, feeling nervous.

"what is it?" you ask.

"i took the whole month off."

you gasp loudly, eyes wide as you sit up.

"wait really?" you say, excitement filling your eyes. a bright smile appears on your face as a dash of hope paints your heart.

jungkook loves your reaction, feeling his heart flutter at finally getting the chance the spend time with his wife.

you hug him.

you feel emotional. happy, excited, overjoyed. everything sounds like a dream come true.

you pull away from the hug, staring into his loving eyes.

"why all the sudden?" you inquire.

"i haven't been able to spend much time with you and i'm sorry. i know you've been feeling lonely."

you couldn't help it, but your heart warms as tears prickle at the corner of your eyes.

jungkook notices.

"everyday i'm at work, i miss you," he says.

"i miss you like crazy all the time," you cry, tears streaming down.

he pulls you into a tight hug again... and you feel the weight fall off your shoulders.

[midnight-shadow-cafe]

After Hours

Pairing: Poly 141 x reader

AU: Mechanic 141x Reader

Warnings: language, mentions of drinking

Authors Note: I hope you enjoy, I love this AU so much-

Word Count: 1.2k

Masterlist

MDNI18+MDNI18+MDNI18+MDNI18+MDNI18+

The hum of engines echoed in the quiet garage, softened by the dim overhead lights as evening bled into night. Most of the team had clocked out, leaving just you and a few of the guys to finish up the last project of the day. Price had stayed, though he lingered more at the edges of the room, keeping a steady, watchful eye as he supervised the night’s work.

Soap was stationed at the paint table, bent over a vibrant paint mix he’d been obsessing over all week. His eyes lit up as he caught you watching, grinning as he lifted a paintbrush with a flourish. “See, it’s all about layers,” he said, his accent thick with his excitement. He dipped his brush, dragging it across the paint in deft strokes. “Depth’s gotta be just right. With the right mix, it catches the light like—dunno—a sunrise on a clear day, yeah?”

“Since when did you get so poetic, Soap?” you teased, a smile tugging at the corner of your mouth as you watched him. You were still wiping grease off your hands, the stain already becoming a familiar sight from your few weeks here, but somehow you’d come to like it. A reminder of belonging.

“Since I met you,” he said without missing a beat, that grin of his widening just enough to make your cheeks flush.

Before you could even respond, Gaz strolled in, his own work gloves tossed over his shoulder as he settled against the workbench beside you. “Still on about that paint job, eh, Soap?” He shot you a conspiratorial smile. “Trust me, he’s dragged everyone into it—won’t be long before he’s begging you to stay all night mixing colors with him.”

“Oi, don’t you start, Gaz,” Soap protested, a playful scowl forming as he brandished his paintbrush like a weapon. “Art takes patience, you know. Some of us have an eye for beauty.”

“More like an eye for wasting time,” Gaz shot back, shaking his head with a laugh as Soap huffed in mock offense.

Their banter was interrupted by the sound of footsteps. Price approached, arms crossed as he surveyed the group with a small smirk. His gruff expression was softened by the amusement in his eyes, but his words were all business. “Alright, enough chit-chat. We’ve got that engine to finish if we want it done by morning.”

That was Price for you—focused and direct, keeping everyone in line. Yet he never pushed too hard, and the respect he commanded made it easy to listen, to want to do your best. He’d taken you under his wing from the start, not coddling you but always offering steady guidance when things got tough. You had only been at *Tactical Motors* a few weeks, but already, he made you feel like part of the team.

“Already on it,” came a low voice from behind you. Ghost stepped forward from the shadows, silent and as intimidating as ever. He handed you a wrench, his gloved fingers brushing against yours for a brief second. His presence settled next to you, steady and unyielding, making you feel like there was nothing that could go wrong while he was around.

“Thanks, Ghost,” you murmured, your gaze meeting his. Though he didn’t say anything, the slight nod he gave you was enough to send a shiver of something warm and reassuring through you.

With Price’s nod, you all moved into the work with ease. Together, the five of you fell into a seamless rhythm. Price guided you through the intricacies of the engine assembly while Ghost tightened each bolt with practiced precision, his quiet demeanor masking an intense focus. Gaz worked diagnostics, occasionally chiming in with quips that kept everyone laughing, while Soap hovered around the edges, finishing up his paint job but constantly stealing glances at you, his smile never fading.

The line between work and something deeper began to blur as the hours slipped by. You noticed the small touches and shared glances—Soap’s shoulder brushing against yours more often than necessary, the way Gaz’s eyes lingered when he handed you a tool. Even Ghost seemed to hover closer, his usual distance replaced by a comforting protectiveness that made you feel secure.

And then there was Price. His eyes softened whenever he caught you laughing with the others, his gaze one of steady approval mixed with something else, something that made your pulse quicken. You’d felt close to him since day one, but tonight, it felt more real than ever.

By midnight, the engine purred to life, humming with perfect precision. You and Price stepped back to admire the work, and Soap threw his arm around your shoulders, pulling you close with a grin.

“Not too shabby for a newbie, eh?” he teased, squeezing your shoulder.

“More than not too shabby,” Gaz chimed in, his voice filled with approval. “That was a masterclass. I’d say you’re officially one of us now.”

Even Ghost seemed pleased, his usual stoic expression softening as he gave a rare nod. You caught a glimpse of pride in his eyes, his silent approval meaning more than you’d ever expected.

Price approached, his gaze steady and intent. “You’ve proven yourself,” he said softly, his voice carrying a warmth that sent butterflies fluttering in your stomach. “Welcome to the family, love.”

The word “family” hit you, settling deep in your chest. You’d had jobs before, but nothing like this. Nothing that made you feel this…connected. Standing there in the dim light of the garage, surrounded by Price’s quiet strength, Soap’s playful warmth, Gaz’s easy charm, and Ghost’s silent protectiveness, you felt like you’d found something you didn’t know you were missing.

After a moment, Soap broke the silence with a mischievous grin. “I’d say this calls for a celebration, yeah? My place, a couple rounds on me.”

Price raised an eyebrow, glancing at you with that soft smile again. “What do you say? You up for a night with these idiots?”

You couldn’t help but laugh, feeling the anticipation spark between you all. “Yeah, I think I am.”

A Few Hours Later

The five of you sat on Soap’s back patio, beers in hand as laughter echoed through the night. The camaraderie that had formed in the garage only deepened in the quiet intimacy of the darkened backyard. Soap had a warmth that kept you smiling, and Gaz’s easy charm drew you in, the two of them joking as if they’d known you forever.

Price stayed close, watching over the group with his usual quiet intensity, his gaze occasionally meeting yours in a way that made your heart race. And Ghost, though still silent, seemed more relaxed than you’d ever seen him, his usual guarded demeanor softened in the safe company of his teammates—and you.

The hours slipped by in a haze of laughter and stolen glances. By the time dawn approached, you felt more than a part of the team. You felt the warmth of a family, the thrill of something new and unknown blossoming with each smile, each touch, each whispered word.

And you knew, in the quiet light of the early morning, that whatever this was, you didn’t want it to end.

Hope you enjoyed! Please consider liking and reposting! -Midnight💜

[just-null]

Cult leader 🐸, your yandere clones live in my head RENT FREE 🗣️🗣️🗣️

I need to know which of them got the first smooch from us 🫦

xoxo <3

They'd love to steal a kiss, but prefer to leave the decision up to you! If it were up to them, they'd too busy ripping each other's jaws off to get to you first. It's compensation for... you know.. the whole barging into your life thing, but you didn't seem to mind it!

Either way you'll get pros and cons. Whoever was the first absolutely dangles the fact over the others.

[what ifs under the cut!]

Sekido always uses the fact that he was your first in an argument. That means you favor his word over theirs, so they should listen! It's also a good reminder to get him in a better mood when he's livid. Waiting so long just to give him your first.. it makes his non-beating heart squeeze. "Your first kiss was mediocre at best, I don't know why I'm surprised, you'll need more practice with me."

If Sekido isn't the first, reminding him does the opposite effect and gets him in a really sour mood that's difficult to move on from. There's also his random outbursts where he purposely targets the first's face. and now a suddenly annoying weight on his chest makes him want to kiss you stupid for making such an obviously wrong choice the first time around!

Being first means bragging rights!!!!! Karaku loves to brag to anyone with ears even if it doesn't have to do with anything. A kiss is always the start to everything, you know? He knew you'd come around, but being so lucky like this? How could he keep his mouth shut? "Oh, what was that? Mnn~ That sounds like what someone who wasn't the first kiss would say! Kakaka!"

Karaku's extremely miffed if he's anything below first, but what does that matter when he can be your second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seve- Is it his lips or something that aren't desirable? what about the rest of him? Better yet! You have so many other firsts you can give him if you want! He'd kill for that! Do you want him to beg? He'll lose his mind if he doesn't have at least ONE of your firsts!!

Delightfully ecstatic doesn't come close to describing how happy Urogi is after the fact. He can fly around for hours with that moment playing in his mind over and over. When he's a bit too active, the thought will get him swaying left to right now lost in his own world while he misses you. "Instead of replaying the memory, Let's replicate it! Maybe make it longer? How about all day!!"

Similarly, Urogi HATES being reminded how he wasn't your first. It gets very violent very quickly, also extremely loud. He yells and calls the others derogatory names that they probably deserve. Also asks you questions like if you could back in time, would you choose him instead? His mood lightens up a bit if you say yes, but it ends the same, looping back to "then why not me the first time?!"

Aizetsu is the most normal after the kiss.. Flushed faced, averting eyes, shy touches, the whole shabang. He barely speaks, but he carries himself with this underlying smugness when you have to choose between them. In his mind, you've dubbed him as the favorite. "It's depressing choosing them after me, huh? Hopefully they get used to it soon.. I'm tired of them yelling at me.."

Now mirror that and you'll get a REALLY pouty Aizetsu, ear twitching with irritation when it's brought up. Can't that fact be left in the past? Preferably in the sun. Burned. Then impaled with his spear. Horrifically. Brutally. Repeatedly. Kiss him better and it'll chip away at his mood. He felt better after the initial comfort kiss, but he's not gonna reveal that. He wants more of your time.

Fingers crossed it's not mentioned ever again or it'll get messy!!!!

[demiesworld]

MEANIE! | satosugu x fem!reader

☆ — synopsis: satosugu x fem!reader being in a poly r/s and when one of them is away on a mission they video call and watch the other get fucked.

☆ — contents: poly r/s, unprotected sex, p in v, creampie, use of toy, pronebone, slut shaming, degradation kink, power dynamic, masturbating, sub!reader, dom!satosugu, mean!satosugu, implied anal (m receiving), just the usual filth

gojo (why is it always gojo) is away on a mission and that leaves you and suguru to your own devices. he's comfortably laid inside of the hotel bedroom, wearing his pajamas when he takes out his phone and calls you up. immediately within the first ring you answer the call and change it to a video. you're in the bedroom you share with him and suguru wearing just satoru's shirt and no panties underneath.

"hey baby," satoru greets with a cheesy grin.

"h-hi satoru," you whimper and cross your legs. you bite down on your bottom lip seeing satoru's pretty face through the phone. "h-how is yo-your m-mission going?" your stuttering gives you away immediately.

"good. put suguru on the phone." you pass the phone over to suguru and shyly hid your face into the pillow beneath you.

in the background you're whining and grinding your hips against the bed trying to angle the toy that's inside of you to touch your sweet spot. suguru smiles at the face of his best friend as if he's not even using his phone to control the vibrations of the toy.

in a chipper voice suguru says, "satoruuu!" followed by your voice mumbling "need you to touch me" and suguru ignores you. "how are you doing?"

"pretty good, but this mission is taking too long. i was supposed to be home by tomorrow evening, now i gotta wait it out till the day after tomorrow. this sucks."

suguru's hand reaches down to the shirt you're wearing and he lifts it up over your ass. you feel his fingers curl under your ass cheek and squeeze the flesh. a weak moan is pulled out of your mouth and you jut your hips back to his touch. "please, please, suguruuu." his hand travels lower and he shoves the toy deeper into your gushing pussy. you toss your head back and let out a whiney moan. it's pressing right into your sweet spot until suguru drags it back by just a inch to prevent you from experiencing any sort of excitement.

the black-haired man once more ignores you and responds to satoru's remark. "well it was supposed to be a mission we had to do together satoru. you decided on going because you said you could get it done quicker just by yourself, the honored one."

you roll over on your stomach towards suguru and grab onto his arm like a koala. your hips rock against the toy trying to feel some sort of movement from it. "suguru, suguru," you plead out his name in a hushed whisper.

he just dismisses you by shoving your head away, doesn't even spare you a glance, and telling you, "i'm on the phone." which causes you to whine louder and for satoru to notice it.

"god, why won't she shut up? what's wrong with her?" he asks suguru, annoyed by your relentless begging.

"she's being punished because she took too long at the grocery store today. i told her to be back by 4 and instead she returned home at 5." suguru explained to his best friend. his brown eyes flicker to your pouty face, and then looks back at satoru on the phone. "looks like she still hasn't learned to follow directions."

satoru scoffs, "clearly." then he adds, "how long is the punishment?"

"she was gone for an hour, so i made the punishment an hour." suguru shrugs off your hands pawing at his bare upper body and pushes you away from him. you pathetically whimper as you lay beside him on your back. tears rolling down your cheeks because suguru wouldn't touch you.

"should have made it longer than that."

suguru chastises him playfully, "satoruuu we have to be nice to her. even if she is just a dumb slut that doesn't follow directions."

you shake your head in denial and grind your hips towards the toy. the vibrations are increased and your legs shudder as you try not to cum. suguru told you earlier you weren't allowed to touch yourself, and to cum without his permission.

"hmph. how much longer does she have?"

suguru looks at the timer on his phone, he forgot he had set it up, and answered, "wow she has just 3 minutes left. it's been an almost an hour darling." he flashes you a wide toothy smile that reaches his eyes. the smile looks kind but his actions are mean.

you look at him, batting your teary eyes as you shakily beg, "please suguru wi-will you touch me now?"

he looks back at the phone's screen and watches as satoru props up his phone and reveals the erection in his pants. "hmm, i don't know satoru. do you think i should do that?" you bite back from getting bratty at him. you knew he was stalling.

"might as well if it would shut her mouth."

you're flipped over onto your stomach just as the timer reaches the 1 minute mark. suguru is positioned behind you, his clothes were long gone, and the hard-on he had was itching to get inside of your weeping pussy. the phone is situated in an angle where satoru could see your teary face and suguru's lean body behind you. you could see satoru stroking his cock in his hand and rubbing the cum around the head of it.

suguru slaps his hands onto your ass cheeks roughly, gripping the flesh tight and leans his head down to the right side of your face. "you ready slut? you really want my cock inside of your filthy pussy?"

you nod your head eagerly to suguru and frantically plead, "yes, yes, i want it sugu. please sugu."

the second the timer goes off, suguru has his tip breaching your entrance and he's burying his fat cock in. the stretch burns but you always take them so well. your jaw drops and you let out a sensual mewl. satoru could see hearts in your eyes when his friend and partner is fully inside of you. his hips touching yours as he rocks them forward lazily. suguru grunts when he feels your cunt tighten. a hand gripping the bed sheets beneath your stationary bodies. you're both are rocking your hips against one another and it's annoying satoru.

"why don't you just fuck her already suguru?"

"be patient satoru. i don't want to break our little toy here." he brings your hips up from the bed, your chest still pressed against the mattress and holds you by the back of your head. suguru guides your head to look at the phone as he says, "why don't you watch our satoru while i'm fucking you princess?"

you breathe heavily and timidly nod your head, your hazy eyes looking at satoru. "o-okay."

the first thrust suguru gives knocks your breath away. you gasp and curl your fingers into the blankets. you want to toss your head forward, but suguru's grip is firm on it. he jerks on your head when you move it and forces you to stay in that position. his dick is driving into your body at a slow and easy pace. each thrust forward has his tip prodding at your cervix and brings stars to your eyes.

"oh! oh! oooohhhh suguruuu," you mewl.

satoru watches through the screen the moment suguru changes the speed of his thrusts and begins to rail into you from behind. the sound of skin slapping increases in volume just as your moans did. he tightens his grip around his cock and strokes it in sync to suguru's pace. the white-haired man bites on his bottom lip then mutters a soft "fuck" after teasing his balls. he keeps his eyes trained on your dumbstruck face.

you lick your lips when satoru lowers the camera down to his rigid cock and shows you that it's dripping with his cum. the taste of it from when he fucked your mouth days before he left lingers. a shiver rakes down your spine before you let out a moan because suguru had pressed your back into a deeper arch.

"satoruuuu... i miss- i miss you satoruuuu! ahh, ahh, wish you were- he-here!"

suguru furrows his brow at what you say, but keeps pounding his dick into your body.

your boyfriend snickers at your admission, "you miss me slut?"

"uh-huhhh, i miss you so, so, so muuuch... hmm satoruuuu..."

as soon as you say that suguru growls and clutches your neck in a firm grip. it cuts off your breathing, however it gives you that light-headed feel and your eyes go cross when he presses down on your airway. your voice bounces each time suguru slams his hips into you. he bites down on your earlobe making you yelp and lay there. suguru seemingly lost his temper and was fucking your body like a wild animal.

satoru chuckles, "hey suguru~ whatever happened to being gentle with our toy?"

"not when she's- fuck- got my cock in her. she should be- hng- paying attention to me."

you cry out, "i, i am suguru! oh god! ah, ah, ah!" you squeeze your eyes shut tight and pussy clenches around suguru's cock. you're trying hard not to cum without his permission, but his strokes are making it difficult to hold it.

"aww im sad y/n... don't you miss me?" satoru mockingly pouts to get a reaction out of you. he bites down on his bottom lip to hide his smirk when you pout at him through the camera.

he tilts his head to the side and squeezes his hand around the base of his shaft. fuck he misses you and suguru. he missed feeling your wet pussy clench before you cum. he missed hearing those cute, fucked out moans you made when you're feeling dumbed down. satoru feels sort of jealous of suguru right now. though it was his own fault to agree to do a mission alone.

still he continues to make a problem for you as he provokes you by asking, "don't you want my cock in you baby?"

the question leaves you stunned, you couldn't make suguru any more upset with you since he was impaling you with his dick. at the same time you didn't want to ignore satoru's question and you admittedly missed his cock inside of your pussy. it tightens around suguru's throbbing length and the black-haired man growls from behind you.

he presses his mouth against your ear and snarls, "go on and answer his question slut. don't leave satoru hanging." his hand smacks your ass.

"ah! suguru, sl-slow down!" you cry out when he speeds up his thrusts, you look back at him and shudder at the menacing glare he has in his brown eyes. "fuck suguru! please! ah! ohh!"

satoru sighs heavily at the sound of wet paps echoing in the room. you were always weak for that smoldering glare suguru gave when he was fucking you. just like how you were weak with satoru forcing eye contact with you when he had you in a headlock while doing missionary. their egos always wanting eye contact with you gave them gratification. each time you were made to do it, you would come undone.

the sorcerer clicks his tongue and huffs, "come on slut, i need to hear you say my name."

you swallow before you blurt out, "sato-satoru! f-fuck!" and it causes for the man currently inside of your pussy to pull himself out and adjust your position on the bed. satoru watches with his thumb quickly stroking his tip as suguru spreads your legs wider and lifts your hips up in the air. your ass perked up like a cat stretching. the sound of the bed rustling is brief when suguru aligns the camera perfectly with your face.

"suguru," you start in a needy tone.

"no, no, look at me you whore. that's right," satoru commands and you look right at him the moment suguru is breaching your pussy again. you make a strangled noise and wiggle your hips against suguru. "keep your eyes on me while he's fucking you, slut."

there's not a moment to think when suguru is back to snapping his hips forward. your pussy feels so nasty with the lewd wetness that resounds in the room. suguru's short and deep groans, his murmurs of "fuck, this pussy feels so good," are absolutely filthy. you look right into satoru's face at the camera, seeing the redness on his neck and his hand jerking his cock rapidly while he watches you get fucked.

you bring your hips back against suguru's as you look at satoru through the phone and silkily mewl, "satoruuu, satoruuu, ha, i l-love your face." your cunt tightens around suguru's cock when you say that out loud. you bite back a moan and a drunken grin forms over your mouth. "hn~ your face is so beautiful satoru, i-it looks even- hm! better w-when you c-cum! ah~" you meet each one of suguru's thrusts and your voice goes up an octave as you wail out, "fuck! fuck! ahhh- gotta c-cum! can i... c-cum please?"

"go on and cum on my dick," suguru grunted and you're clamping down on his thick cock like a vice. he has to stop moving to let you ride out your orgasm. your legs shaking and folds fluttering on his rigid length when you do. your body feels like it's flying after having came.

a pleased sigh comes from you after you've came and loosened around suguru's cock for him to chase down his high. he glides in your slick walls in deep strokes. the claps of his balls hitting your ass is loud. he mutters a, "fuck," before he slaps your ass cheek and goes into a frenzy on your pliable body.

"uhhh~ sato... sugu..." you mumble mindlessly. "uhhh yeeeeah, yeah, yeah, sugu."

"god she's fucked out now. now she's back to being the dumb slut we trained her to be." satoru comments and thrusts up into his hand. he tosses his head back. "damn it i can't fucking wait to get back home. fuck, i'm gonna fuck you in every room."

your clit throbs at the declaration and you squeal feeling yourself getting close to another orgasm. "keep talking satoruu..." you purr as your body is drowning in pleasure.

"when i get home- hng, don't wear clothes. the both of you. i- hng- i want-" satoru clenches his teeth as he feels himself losing his composure. he almost whimpers, but he quickly covered it with a gasp. "i want y-your pussy on my cock. need it milked of every drop." satoru looks down at the red tip of his length and his balls tighten up.

suguru chuckles at satoru and looks at his best friend and partner through the phone's screen. "you don't just want her pussy on your dick satoru. i can tell you want- hng something more." suguru groans as he rams harshly into your body. he smirks as he looks down at the milky white juices on his groin while he's fucking you.

satoru feels his dick throb at suguru's words and he whimpers as he feels his hole clench. he shuts his eyes and quickens the speed of his hand. "s-shut up suguru- ahh... don't say anything."

"what? you don't want me to show you some love when you get back home satoru?" suguru shivers after saying that and then adds, "because if you want- hm- i can give you all the love you need."

satoru makes a choked noise as he feels his toes curling and body writhing. he's almost close. he can feel it getting closer now. "hmph, fu-fuck suguru shut the hell up."

"sh-shut up? don't you want me to keep going?" suguru croons.

satoru covers his mouth with his hand the very second he moans and cums all over himself. his cum releases out in thick heavy streams and paints his stomach along with his hand. he thrusts his hips up into his palm while he rides out his orgasm. his skin feels prickly and like electricity is firing through his veins as he lays there panting.

his best friend cums inside of you not too longer after. suguru's cum paints your insides white and it fills you up. when he pulls his wet cock out of your entrance, his cum combined with your own drips out of your pussy and onto the bed. suguru breathes heavily as he watches your pussy flutter with nothing inside of it. he reaches over your head and flips the camera to show off your cum-filled cunt to satoru.

"fuck." satoru curses as he sees the mess you and suguru made. he covers his blue eyes with his hand and lets out a groan of frustration, "ugh, i hate this so much."

suguru's voice in the background replies, "it's only less than two days until you get back satoru. i would believe that you could be patient to wait." his hand spreads your pussy on the side and thumb reaches in to pump out more of his cum. you let out a weak moan, but suguru adds on, "besides, me and her aren't going anywhere."

"yeah," satoru grumbles then his azure eyes glance to the time and at the stickiness on his skin. "shit, it's getting late and i have to shower suguru. i will see you guys the day after tomorrow."

the video call ends with satoru ending it and he gets out of the bed to take a shower. he brings his phone with him into the bathroom and places it on the counter to run the shower water. as he's preparing to step inside the sound of his phone grabs his attention and he looks at it. a text from suguru. satoru opens up the message and sees the image that he sent him. immediately his ears go red and he turns the phone face down on the counter before he enters the shower.

from: suguru image attached! you can also have an inch or two too sato~

☆ — notes: UGH. i have tried for a minute to get this finished, but it's done. let me know what you think in the comments!

© demiesworld. please do not plagiarize, translate, or repost any of my work on any other platforms without my permission.

[lustfulslxt]

Teach Me - Chris Sturniolo

summary : after being stranded on a date because of your innocence, you want a taste of something more; you beg chris to teach you.

warnings : smut, innocent!reader, slutty bff!chris, oral, fingering, yk the usual

—

Everything was going well, until it wasn't. The first date you'd ever been asked on, and you were ecstatic. Someone had finally taken an interest in you. You got all dolled up and put on your nicest dress. You had your hair sitting pretty, and your makeup on point. You never imagined going all out for a guy, and it was all just for you to be left standing there in the parking lot.

"You look hot tonight." The guy across from you smirked, his leg brushing up against yours beneath the table.

You sent him a bashful smile while pulling your leg out of reach. "Thank you."

His smirk fell as he felt you pull away from him, his face hardening just the slightest bit, before relaxing it as best he could. "What do you say we get out of here?"

You frown, "What? Now? I haven't even finished eating."

He chuckles, "You've had plenty, come on."

He gets up from the table and reaches for your hand, and as much as what he had just said rubbed you the wrong way and made you feel unpleasant, you obliged and grabbed his hand anyway. He tugged you towards the exit, eagerly making his way to his car with you following in suite. You struggled a bit to keep up with his quick pace, having to step twice as many times as him just to not fall behind.

As soon as you reach his car, he presses you against it and slams his mouth on yours. You immediately push him back, staring up at him with furrowed eyebrows. He grins and pulls you back into him, forcing his tongue down your throat.

With another shove, you shout, "What is the matter with you?"

"Oh, come on! Give me a little taste." He chuckles, grabbing your arm.

"Are you serious? Yeah, I think I'll pass." You glare up at him, appalled by his thirst.

"For real?" He questions, until he realizes you're serious and instantly grows sour. "Then you can fucking stay here. Nobody wants a prude."

Before you can even fully register his words, he's in his car and speeding off, leaving you to stumble back in disbelief. You watch him dramatically drive away until his taillights fade into the distance. A frown pulls to your lips and tears well up in your eyes. Without another thought, you're pulling your phone out and calling the one person that never fails to be there for you when you need him.

"Hello?" He answers.

"Chris." You start, holding back your tears. "Can you come get me?"

He can hear it in your voice that you're beyond upset, and he's instantly sliding on his shoes. "Send me your location."

With that, you're sending him the address of the restaurant you're at. You sit on the curb, crossing your arms to provide you as much warmth as possible as the night wind starts to pick up. You put your head down, willing yourself not to cry over some loser that just wanted to get in your pants.

Soon enough, headlights shine in your peripheral, causing you to look up, only to be met with Chris walking towards you. You quickly stand and meet his embrace, his body encasing you in a much-needed warmth. His arms securely wrap around you, holding you snug against him.

"What happened?" He asks in a soft tone.

You pull away with a sigh of annoyance, "Guys suck."

He chuckles a bit before wrapping his arm around you and guiding you towards the passenger seat of his car. He opens the door, letting you take your seat. With a quick glance at you, he's shutting the door and making his way to his side. He gets in, and immediately heads for the road.

"Your house or mine?" He questions, shooting you a quick look before directing his eyes back to the street.

"Yours if that's okay." You reply.

He grins, grabbing your hand in his. "Always."

The rest of the ride is silent, and it's not long before he's pulling into his driveway. He parks in the garage and shuts the car off, the two of you getting out and heading inside.

Chris brings you directly to his bedroom, locking you two in there. You head for his bed while he goes to his dresser. He grabs out a t-shirt and goes into his bathroom, fishing for the makeup wipes he has for you for times like this. After retrieving them, he walks back over to you and holds his hands out.

“You’re spending the night. Go wash your face and get out of that dress.” He simply states.

“Wow, Chris. Keep acting like that and girls might actually think you care.” I tease, grabbing the shirt and wipes from his hands.

He rolls his eyes with a small grin on his lips, “I do care, but only for you. Any other girl that thinks that is lying to herself. Now, shut up and go do what you gotta do.”

You giggle, closing yourself in his bathroom to do as he says. Upon looking at yourself in the mirror, you can’t help but feel a little sad. Not because of some guy, but because you put so much effort into yourself for a guy, just for him to be the type you’ve been avoiding your whole life.

Taking a deep breath, you shake your head to rid your mind of your thoughts. Grabbing a wipe, you begin removing the makeup and wash your face off in the sink. Next, you kick your shoes off and remove the dress, replacing it with Chris’ shirt. His scent and laundry detergent linger in the fabric, pleasantly engulfing your senses. You grab your shoes and dress, then look at yourself, forcing a smile on your lips, and head back out to the bedroom.

“There’s my girl.” Chris says upon seeing you.

He’s sat on his bed, leaning against his headboard with his legs kicked out. He nods his head, silently beckoning you over. Your forced smile turns into a real one as you toss your belongings in the corner and make your way over to him.

“Hi.” You breathe, crawling next to him.

“Hi, pretty girl.” He mumbles, pulling you to lay on him.

Your arms hug his abdomen as you place your face on his lap, both of your legs intertwining with one another. This type of thing isn’t new to you, you and Chris have always been close in your friendship. Though, it’s never went further than cuddles.

“Thank you for coming to get me.” You whisper into his shirt.

His hands run through your hair, “You don’t have to thank me. I told you I always got you whenever you need me.”

You look up at him and smile, squeezing him just a bit harder. You lay your head back down and close your eyes.

“Do you wanna talk about what happened?”

You sigh and shuffle around to where your back is on the bed, but your head is in his lap. You catch his eyes as he stares down at you and all you can feel is safe.

“Do guys not like inexperienced girls?” You ask him.

He furrows his brows as confusion plasters across his face. “What do you mean?”

“Say, you’re out with a girl. Does her not wanting to do anything with you or having never done anything before turn you off?”

He shakes his head, “Doesn’t really matter to me.”

You ponder for a moment, biting your bottom lip as he intently watches you. He places his hand on your jaw and softly presses his thumb to your chin, pulling down so you release your lip.

“What about me?” You finally ask in a quiet voice.

He hums, “What about you?”

“You know I’ve never done anything before. I’ve never even kissed a guy until tonight. Does that turn you off?”

“You kissed him?” He gapes at you.

You frown just a bit, “Well, more so he kissed me. I had to keep pushing him away.”

“He was trying to force you?”

You can see Chris becoming infuriated, so you place a hand on his cheek in an attempt to calm him. “Hey, he just kept trying to kiss me. When he realized I wasn’t giving in, he left.”

Chris doesn’t say anything as he looks off into the distance.

“You never answered my question.”

He glances at you with a look you can’t really decipher. “You could never turn me off.”

A foreign feeling flutters in your stomach and your cheeks grow pink beneath his warm hands. You can’t help but look away as your blush deepens and Chris chuckles.

“You’re blushing.” He obviously points out.

You push one of his hands away from you and roll your eyes. “Shut up.”

It’s silent again and your thoughts end up roaming all over the place; Chris being the main focus for the majority of them.

“Does that mean I turn you on?” You hesitantly ask him.

He raises an eyebrow, “Where’s all this coming from?”

“I don’t know. He called me a prude.” You admit.

“Just because you didn’t want him doesn’t mean you’re a prude.” Chris responds as he caresses your face.

“He’s not wrong though.” You shyly say, “I’m twenty years old and I’ve never done anything like that ever.”

Chris shakes his head, “That doesn’t matter. You’ll do shit when you’re ready. Kid’s just mad you wouldn’t suck his dick.”

“Would you get mad?” You ask, curiously.

He laughs, loudly, “No. If I wanted it that bad, I’d call up someone else to come suck me off.”

“That was a very whore-ish thing to say.” You giggle, before adding with finger quotations, “I’ve never ‘sucked someone off’.”

“That’s because you’re a prude.” He teases.

You groan, pushing yourself off of him. He quickly grabs your waist and pulls you back to him so you can’t run off. Only now, you’re suddenly straddling his lap. He gulps at this new position the two of you have never been in, immediately shaking the dirty thoughts away.

“Hey, I’m sorry. I was just teasing.” He grins.

“Will you teach me?” You randomly ask, doe eyes wide as you stare at him.

He chokes on his saliva, completely thrown off by your question, “W-what?”

“Will you teach me how to suck dick?” You reiterate, adding, “As friends.”

“As friends?” He repeats with a slight chuckle. “I don’t know how to suck dick either.”

You groan once more, pushing his shoulder back. “Come on, be serious. You know in a sense of what you like.”

“I’m not teaching you how to suck my dick.” He forces out in a breath.

“Why not?” You pout.

His heart is practically beating of his chest at your sudden desire to give him head. He so badly wants to remove his pants and slide his cock down your wet throat. He wants to see your pretty lips puckered around him. He wants to feel you gag on him as you try to take all of him in your mouth. He wants to see tears running down your cheeks as you work him.

He quickly shakes his head, almost unable to catch his breath. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“Please? It won’t mean anything, and you basically get free head.” You add, trying to sway him.

“Free head is crazy.” He chuckles, attempting to avoid your question.

You readjust yourself in his lap, causing him to squeeze your hips with wide eyes. You halt your movement, unaware of what’s going on with him.

“M-maybe you should get up.” He says, deeply inhaling through his nose.

You’re confused, but nonetheless, you lift your hips from him and kick your leg over, attempting to scoot yourself to beside him. Only, he grabs your waist, stopping you once again.

Chris is having an internal battle right now. Your words awoke something feral in him, and he’s fighting with himself to not give in. He wants nothing more than to comply with your request, but he doesn’t think he’ll be able to control himself. Yet, he still wants you on him.

You find yourself now straddling his thigh this time, the heat between your legs resting on his clothed leg. He can feel your warmth, causing him to lean his head back in contemplation.

“Think of it as a favor.” You say with a shrug, “You teach me, and in return, get your dick sucked.”

“Y/N.” He breathes as his mind flashes with erotic fantasies.

“Hey, I’m not forcing you. If you’re not interested-“ You get up for what feels like the hundredth time tonight.

“Wait.” He speaks through gritted teeth.

You kneel next to him, waiting for him to continue. He looks at you with half lidded eyes, and you can practically see his inner turmoil. He places his hand on his jeans, pushing it around with his bottom lip between his teeth.

You glance down and are suddenly aware of his growing erection. Your stomach twists at the thought of being the reason he’s getting hard, and it makes you feel somewhat good about yourself.

His hand grabs the bottom of his shirt, sliding it upwards to just above his belly button, revealing his happy trail. His eyes lock onto yours as his hand cups your cheek, guiding you down towards the bulge in his pants.

“I’m not sure we should start something we can’t stop.” He breathes as he feels the warmth emitting from your face through his jeans.

“Who says we can’t stop?” You ask in a whisper as you place your hands on his belt.

He’s so sensitive right now, he can feel your breath as you speak. Unable to help himself, he bucks his hips up into your hands, eyes closing from the sensation.

His hands guide yours to undo his belt. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to control myself.”

"It'll be okay." You say, your voice barely audible.

Your veins flood with anxiety as you unbuckle his belt. You're excited, but nervous. What if you don't do it right? What if he laughs at you? You grasp the belt and slowly pull it from his belt loops, Chris lifting his hips to help you. His eyes haven't left you once, soaking in the way you innocently aim to please him.

You unbutton his jeans and pull down the zipper, so slow almost as if you're purposely trying to tease him. You grab the waistband of his jeans, his pulling them down as he lifted up just a bit. You can see his dick straining against his boxers. You can't help but widen your eyes at the size of him.

He smirks at your reaction, rubbing his thumb back and forth on your cheek. His fingertips softly grip the back of your head, pulling you down to his throbbing member. Your lips meet his boxers, feeling waves of warmth through it. Chris takes a deep breath as your plump lips drag over the fabric.

"So, I just take these off. Yeah?" You innocently ask.

Chris chuckles at your cluelessness and nods, assisting you in removing the last piece of clothing on his lower half. His dick springs up, fully erect and throbbing. Your mouth visibly falls open at the sight. You can see veins dancing along his shaft, his head an angry red.

"What I do now?" You shyly question.

His hand wraps around the base, pumping a few times. "Spit on the tip."

You blush under his intense gaze, gathering as much saliva as you could. You lean over him, puckering your lips and pushing it all out with your tongue. It slowly falls onto the tip, causing his dick to twitch. He closes his eyes at the warm sensation, but quickly opens them to watch you again. You watch as the spit dribbles down his length, working around the veins.

"Then, you use your hand to spread it all around and get it nice and wet." He huskily informs.

You look at his face and he nods, encouragingly. Your hand slowly meets his member, and he groans from your delicate touch. Your fingers wrap around his girth, beginning to pump your hand up and down to spread your saliva. Chris' hand clenches the sheet beneath him, his breathing becoming shaky.

"Chris." You whisper, causing his eyes to snap open.

"What?" He breathes.

"What now?" You can't help but giggle.

"Right." He licks his lips. "Uh, just lick the tip."

You hesitantly lean forward, blatantly unaware of what you're doing. However, you do as he says. Your tongue flicks over the tip, slowly circling around it, pulling a low groan from his throat.

"I'm sorry, was that, okay?" You ask, worriedly.

"F-fuck, yes." He mumbles, his eyes drinking in the way you work his tip. "Then, you put it in your mouth. Bob your head up and down as you suck and use your hand-like this." His hand engulfs yours around his member, showing you what to do with the remaining cock you can't fit in your mouth. "Shit, good girl." He praises with a heaving chest.

Your tongue slides over his tip once more, causing his hips to buck, shoving his dick in your face. Your eyes widen at the sudden movement, and you look up at him.

"Sorry." He chuckles, running his thumb over your lips.

You can't help but smile at his smile, then proceed to take him into your mouth. You flatten your tongue and slide down his shaft. Your lips wrap around him so perfectly, eliciting another moan from him, which only encourages you. His hands tangle in your hair as you bob your head, your mouth drooling down his member.

"Fuck, just like that." He groans, pulling your hair into a makeshift ponytail.

You place one of your hands on his thigh, the other pumping the remaining of his length that you can't fit. Your tongue glides along the vein on the underside of his dick, traveling back upwards and around his tip. Chris tosses his head back, his jaw clenching as waves of pleasure flood through his body.

"It's so hot that mine is the first cock you've ever had in your pretty little mouth." He moans, caressing the sides of your face.

His hands grip the sides of your head, and he thrusts upwards, shoving his dick down your throat. You gag around him with every thrust, snapping him from the trance he's in. He quickly pulls his hands from your head and places them on the sheet, squeezing it once again.

"Sorry, feels so good." He grunts, willing himself not to overwhelm you.

You pull away from his dick, strings of saliva keeping you connected. You grab his hands and place them on your head, "Do it again."

You can tell it's what he likes, and his moans of pleasure make you feel good, you want to hear them over and over. You can feel a burning desire for him growing in your stomach, a feeling so foreign and unusual. It makes you squeeze your thighs together.

Chris' eyes damn near roll to the back of his head from your words. His hands softly grip your head and his hips thrust up, continuously fucking into your mouth. Wet gags fill the room, and his eyes take in the sight in front of him. Your eyes glisten with tears as they stream down your face, spit bubbles gathering on the sides of your mouth.

He can't help the moans that fall from his mouth as his orgasm builds. His stomach tightens, his muscles flexing as his toes curl. He throws his head back, his mouth falling slack, silent groans leaving it. His thrusts slow as a guttural moan emits from his throat, his hot load shooting into your mouth and down your throat.

His movements stop, so you wrap your lips firmly around him once again. You suck around him, your tongue gathering the remnants of his orgasm. His legs twitch from overstimulation before he's pushing your head off of him with a hiss.

"Sorry!" You rush out with wide eyes.

He faces the ceiling with closed eyes as his chest heaves with heavy pants. His cheeks are flushed a rosy color, his bottom lip swollen from biting down on it. He peeks at you with half lidded eyes, staring at you with such an intense gaze. His fingertips trace the outline of your jaw as filthy thoughts flood his brain.

His hand grips your chin and pulls you up so that you're straddling him again, leaving your faces centimeters apart. His eyes roam all over your face, taking in your expression, attempting to read you.

Your lips are red and plump with dribbles of saliva in the corners and your hair is a mess from his grabby hands. Just the sight of you makes his cock start throbbing again. He wants to do so many naughty things.

"How was that?" You ask in a whisper.

His gaze lands on your lips, subconsciously licking his own as he admires you. His thumb brushes over the soft skin once again, pulling it down and softly pressing into your mouth. The pad of his fingertip rests on your warm tongue, and you can feel him growing underneath your weight.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" You question, forgetting that he hasn't answered your previous question.

"I told you it wasn't a good idea." He mumbles, his eyes never leaving your face as his hand meets your hip, squeezing it.

You suck in a breath at the feeling, involuntarily clenching. "Why not? You finished, didn't you?"

"Mm, because now I can't stop thinking about filling you up." He huskily whispers.

Your eyes widen at his words, looking down towards your meeting groins. His free hand runs up from your knee, digging his fingertips into your bare thigh. His hand on your hip moves around your back, sliding up the shirt of his that you're wearing. You can feel his nails run over your skin, leaving goosebumps in his wake.

"Fill me up?" You repeat in an innocent tone.

He practically groans from your voice, his hands meeting your hips, holding you in place as he ruts up into you. The action pulls a soft moan from your lips as it felt pleasant against your needy core. The feeling was unusual, but you want to feel it again. The sound that left your mouth goes straight through him, his cock twitching with desperation.

"Fuck." He mumbles, barely audible. "God, I can't do this."

"I can get up." You mutter, suddenly feeling a bit insecure, unaware of the dilemma he's going through.

"No." He grits, his hands tightening on your hips. "That's the problem."

You frown, "I-I don't understand, Chris."

"God, even the way you say my name." He practically whines, his eyebrows furrowing as he squeezes his eyes shut.

He shuffles beneath you, exposing his hard member. He grasps your hand and places it on his dick, both of your hands engulfing his length.

"See what you do to me?" He groans at the feeling of your soft hand around him. "I knew crossing that line wasn't a good idea, because now it's all I can think about. I wanna be buried inside of you. I wanna feel you squeeze around me. Wanna hear your pretty little moans, all for me. God, I wanna make you feel so fucking good it's all you know."

Your mouth falls slack as he speaks, a feeling swirling in your stomach as you take in his words. You feel tempted, your attraction and desire for him burning brighter, turned on from the thought even though you've never had what he's implying.

"Do it." You whisper, your eyes set on his face.

"W-what?" He gapes, his eyes frantically searching over you.

"I've never had sex before." You say, "Teach me. Make me feel good."

He shakes his head, letting out a breath. "I don't think I can control myself; I don't want to hurt you."

You grab his hand, intertwining your fingers. "I trust you."

You lean closer to him, your eyes never leaving his. You can feel his breath against your face from the close proximity. You hesitantly brush you lips against his, looking for any signs to discontinue. However, Chris wraps his hand around your neck and yanks you into him, slamming his lips on yours.

You can't help but moan into the kiss, driving Chris insane. His lips work against yours so feverishly, hungry for you. He places his opposite hand on the small of your back, supporting you as he flips the two of you over.

You gasp from the sudden movement, Chris taking the opportunity to slide his tongue in your mouth. He explores your mouth, his tongue gliding over yours so perfectly. He pulls away, leaving you breathless, and turns your head so that he can work on your neck. The second he starts leaving open mouthed kisses, your breathing becomes erratic as small whines leave your mouth, only fueling his hunger.

He licks and nips at your sensitive skin, eliciting quiet moans and pants. His hands slide under your shirt, caressing your body with the right amount of pressure. You've never been in this situation before, but you love it, especially since it's with Chris. Your skin burns beneath his touch, you can feel yourself growing wet beneath him.

"You're sure you want to do this?" He questions, barely breaking away from your neck.

You only nod in response, your breath caught in your throat as he continues to suck.

He pulls away, his hand turning your face to him. "I need your words, baby."

"Yes, Chris." You whine, squeezing your thighs together. "Please."

He gives you a tiny smirk and pulls you up so he can remove your top. He swiftly pulls your shirt over your head, the cool air causing you to shiver. His hands run up your sides, admiring your body. He reaches behind you, his fingers finding the back of your bra, and quickly unbuckles it. Grabbing the straps, he guides them down your arms, leaving you topless.

You quickly cover up, suddenly feeling a bit insecure, having never been exposed like this in front of someone.

He grabs your arms, pulling them down as he interlocks your hands. "No need to hide from me, pretty girl. Just wanna make you feel good."

Chris pulls you back into him, one of his hands placed on your lower back while the other one holds your cheek. He presses his lips to yours, in a softer kiss than before. Pulling away, he swiftly removes his shirt, adding it to the pile of clothes on the floor.

As you stare at his physique, he grabs your wrists and places your hands on his bare chest. You take the hint and run them over his smooth skin, feeling his body heat beneath your palms. Chris grins at you, engulfing your breasts in his hands, tenderly squeezing them. A small whimper leaves your mouth at the feeling.

Chris leans you back, taking his place hovering over you. His hand brushes your hair out of your face as he stares down at you with dark eyes. His fingertips caress your cheek as he takes in your features.

"So fucking pretty." He mumbles against your lips, before kissing you.

The kiss is gentle and almost loving, your lips moving softly together. That only lasts for a moment before he's deepening it. It becomes messy and feverish, both of you needy and desperate for more. He pulls away, a string of saliva attached to both of your mouths. Then, he makes his way back down your neck.

He litters your sensitive skin with wet, open-mouthed kisses. His tongue flicks over every inch, his teeth softly biting down, leaving dark bruises in his wake. You can't help but whine beneath him, relishing in this new feeling he's bringing you.

It's not long before he lowers himself again. His mouth nips at your chest, peppering you with wet kisses. His teeth graze the soft skin of your breasts, working his way towards your nipples. His hands engulf the mounds of fat, squeezing and massaging them. He wraps his lips around one nipple, flicking his tongue over the sensitive bud, causing you to arch your back into him. His hand tweaks the other one, stimulating them both, before taking turns with each.

"That feels good." You whine, your hands tangling in his hair.

"Mm." He hums, "Just you wait, baby. Gonna make you feel so good."

With that, he's traveling down your stomach, leaving kisses along the way. Your skin is on fire, and you find it hard to breathe. He's getting closer and closer to your most sensitive bits, and you're becoming slightly nervous, having never experienced this. His mouth meets the waistband of your panties, leaving kisses across the elastic.

He pauses, glancing up at you. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes." You breathe, "Yes, please."

He shoots you a grin, his head lowering towards your thighs. He spreads your legs, and his mouth meets the plush skin, sensually kissing and marking both legs. Your head is clouded with lust, not a single thought in your mind, except for Chris.

As he moves up towards your center, you feel yourself repeatedly clenching. His lips meet the fabric of your panties, placing a soft kiss over your clothed clit, causing you to buck your hips into him. He smirks to himself, bringing his fingers up and rubbing you through the cotton.

You gasp from the feeling, quietly whispering, "Oh, my god."

He lifts his head, watching you as he works you through your panties, the fabric quickly becoming drenched with your arousal. He practically moans at the entire sight of you. Without a word, his fingers are dipping into your underwear, swiftly pulling them down and off your feet, leaving you naked beneath him.

Just as you're about to close your legs, feeling exposed, Chris wraps his hands around each thigh, spreading them even farther apart. The sight of your dripping pussy has his mouth watering. As he crawls in between your legs, your sweet aroma floods his nostrils, causing him to groan in satisfaction.

"Such a pretty pussy. All for me." He huskily speaks.

Your body is tense with anticipation of what's to come. Chris places an open-mouthed kiss over your throbbing clit, pulling a whimper from your throat. You stare down at him, his eye connecting with yours as he drags his tongue through your folds, from your entrance to your clit. You can't help the high-pitched moan that falls from your mouth.

The feeling is like no other, and you find yourself grinding down into his mouth. His tongue laps your wetness, indulging in the sweet taste of your essence. He puckers his lips, wrapping them around your aching clit, softly sucking on it, flicking his tongue back and forth over it. You're left twitching beneath him, egging him to keep going.

"God, you taste so fucking delicious." He mumbles against you, the vibrations coursing through your body.

The foreign feeling starts building in your stomach, and you can only assume your orgasm is close. Your hands lace through his locks, gripping them as you moan. Chris' mouth is drenched in your juices, the warm wetness dripping down his chin as he devours you.

You begin writhing beneath him, causing him to hold you still with a harsh grip on your thighs. He's completely lost in the taste of you, possibly enjoying himself more than you are.

Your face contorts in pleasure, your hole clenching around nothing as he continues working you so deliciously. The knot in your stomach tightens, your fingers tugging his hair.

"Chris, oh my god." You cry out, bucking into his face once more.

He shakes his face in your pussy, his tongue flat as it glides over your clit. Your knuckles turn white from the tight grip you have on his hair, crying out as you give into the feeling. The band in your stomach snaps, your juices rushing out into his mouth. Lewd moans emit from your mouth, Chris soaking every one of them up. Your body convulses under him, his grip on you tightening so he can finish you off.

He laps up your wetness, savoring every drop of it. Reluctantly, he pulls away, not wanting to stop, but not wanting to overwhelm you. He peaks up at you through his waves, the bottom half of his face glistening with your fluids. His lips are red as he licks them, attempting to taste even more of you.

"Can I keep going?" He questions, his fingers dancing on the skin around your heat. "I want to try something else."

You hum, slightly giggling, "Let me catch my breath for a moment."

He brings his cheek to your inner thigh, letting you rest for a moment. Though, it's not long before he's inching closer to your core. He teasingly rubs his nose against your swollen clit, causing you to twitch again. You hiss from the feeling, making him chuckle in delight. He admires you, deeply inhaling your scent, eager to make you cum again.

Without another word, his fingers are sliding through your folds, eliciting cries from you. You're so sensitive, but you don't want him to stop. He crawls over you, keeping his hand prodding at your pussy.

He has a goofy grin on his face as he takes in your expressions. Your face is flushed and sweaty, your hair matted from the constant wriggling of your head. You look incredibly fucked out, and knowing he hasn't even done much to you, makes him hot.

With his slender fingers still sliding up and down your slit, his lips meet yours. The taste of you lingers in his mouth as your mouths mold together. His tongue makes its way into your mouth, the taste of your essence more prominent. As his tongue explores your mouth, he takes the opportunity to slip a finger into your sopping entrance.

Your back arches into him, and he swallows every moan that leaves your mouth. He slowly pumps it in and out of you, the sound of your wetness very evident. The slick sounds fill the air as you both moan into each other's mouths.

He breaks away, leaving you breathless. "Look at you. You're loving it."

You bring your bottom lip between your teeth, attempting to hold back your sounds as your frantically nod your head. His pace quickens, his finger rapidly pumping in and out of you. Your brows knit together in pleasure, your fingernails digging into his shoulders.

"Just wanna make you feel good, baby." He coos, "You look so pretty like this for me."

Your mouth opens, silent moans leaving it. As if he can't help it, his opposite hand slides up your neck, his middle and ring finger poking into your mouth, pulling your jaw further down. His eyes never leave your face as he slides another finger into your pussy. Broken moans fall from your mouth as he works you so well.

He soaks in every hint of enjoyment you release, loving that he can make you feel so good. Loving that he's the only one that's ever made you feel this good. His cock throbs at the sight of you, yearning to be buried inside of you. His movements increase in speed and force, becoming rough for just a second, before he's removing his hand altogether.

You're left breathless and whiny at the loss of contact, your mind stuck in a daze. You've never felt this way before, but god, do you hope it never ends.

"I wanna feel you." He groans against your neck, his breath warm against your skin.

The thought of what he's suggesting makes your stomach twist. You're nervous, but you want it so bad.

"Fuck, I just want to feel your sweet little pussy squeezing the life out of me." He grunts, rutting his hips into yours.

His cock glides over your slit from the gesture, causing you to roll your hips for more friction. He lowly moans at the feeling of your warmth against his member. He pulls you further down the bed by your thighs, situating himself between your legs.

He leans over you, his palms placed by your head to hold himself up. His lips meet the side of your jaw, littering soft, wet kisses all over your skin. He does the same to your neck, before moving back up to your lips, placing several there as well.

"Tell me if you want me to stop." He whispers against your lips.

He looks at you, discerning no signs of hesitation or reluctance. One of his hands intertwine with yours as he backs onto his knees. His opposite hand grasps his member, sliding it up and down your folds, coating itself with your arousal.

Every time his tip runs over your clit, you can't help but moan at the sensation. He aligns himself with your entrance and looks up at you again. You both lock eyes, and you give him a firm nod for the reassurance he needs.

You grip his hand with one hand and the sheets with the other, squeezing your eyes shut as he slowly pushes in. He fills you inch by inch, the size of him making you feel like you're being torn. You wince from the pressure, involuntarily clenching around him. The feeling makes him groan in pleasure, but he stops.

"Are you okay?" He grunts, rubbing your hip with his free hand.

You nod, "Mhm."

"Just breathe, and if you need me to stop, I will." He gently speaks, attempting to soothe you.

"Fuck, okay, just keep going." You whine, your eyes still closed.

He gives you a nod, very slowly pushing all the way in. He bites his lip, suppressing the sounds threatening to spill. He stills, letting you adjust to the new feeling.

"You good, baby?"

You open your eyes, letting out a breath. "Yeah, yeah. I'm good, you can move now."

He starts slowly pumping in and out of you, his grip on your hip tightening in hopes of controlling himself. Your breath catches in your throat as you try to power through the pain. It's more so uncomfortable than anything.

He rocks his hips into yours in a sensual manner, pulling a low moan from you as it becomes more and more pleasurable. His eyes widen at the noise, enthralled with the way you sound just for him.

"God, you're so fucking pretty." He groans, "Sound so pretty too."

More soft moans emit from your mouth at his words, taking pleasure in the way he's so gentle with you. He leans forward, capturing your lips in his. Your mouths mold together so effortlessly, like you've been doing this forever.

His thrusts quicken only slightly, still fucking into you at a gentle pace. Your head lolls to the side, soft whines falling from your lips as pleasure consumes you. The familiar feeling builds in your stomach for the second time tonight, causing you to clench around him.

"Doing so good for me." He moans, thrusting just a bit harder.

A lewd moan is pulled from your throat at the switch in his strokes. He leans back slightly, his thumb coming in contact with your clit. He begins rubbing slow, soft circles into it, causing you to tremble beneath him.

"Chris, oh my f-fuck." You cry out, your back arching.

"Feels good, no?" He smirks, soaking in the way you're reacting to him.

His pace quickens after that, causing you to let out a loud moan, "S-so good."

Your sounds are going straight to his cock, and he can't help but thrust deeper. Your hands clench around the sheet below you, your knuckles turning white once again from the tight grip.

He lifts one of your thighs, holding your leg up for better access. The tip of his delicious cock kisses your cervix, you're left writhing in overwhelming pleasure. He tosses his head back at the feeling of your spongey walls clenching around him, pulling his orgasm closer and closer.

His thumb speeds up on your clit, applying more pressure. You're practically thrashing beneath him. Your stomach tightens and you can't help but clench around him again and again. The feeling of your velvety walls contracting around him, pulls a guttural moan from his throat.

"Oh my god." You cry.

You whine out as you can't hold on anymore, giving into the knot and letting go. Pleasure takes over your body, flooding your veins with euphoria. Squelching sounds fill the room as you release all over his cock, coating his member and balls in your juices.

He looks down, groaning at the sight of your deliciousness drenching him. His hips sputter, his thrusts growing sloppy as he reaches his climax. Before he even has the chance to pull out, his load is filling you up and painting your walls a milky white.

"F-fuck." He groans, stilling his movement after riding out his high.

He looks back down at your groins, eyes widening as he realizes what he did. Slowly, he pulls out of you and watches as his cum oozes out of your pussy. The sight alone could make him cum again in an instant.

"Uh, are you on birth control?" He finally spits out.

You open your eyes, immediately raising an eyebrow at him.

He brings a hand down to your center, scooping some of your mixed fluids with two fingers. He pulls it up to show you, before slightly smirking.

"Wanna taste?"

Your eyes widen and your face is taken over with that innocent look that he loves so much. Your mouth parts as you nod, and he's instantly shoving his two fingers into your mouth. You moan at the taste, sucking every drop from his finger.

His mouth waters at the sight, immediately gripping your jaw and kissing you fiercely. He sighs into your mouth, beyond pleased with the way your night turned out.

"Whenever you need me, call me immediately." He grins in a teasing manner.

You can't help but giggle, shoving him away from you. His laugh matches yours, collapsing next to you and pulling you into him. He lovingly pecks your shoulder, his arms completely engulfing you.

"Ten minutes and we're gonna go clean up."

--

a/n : as lil wayne said, sorry 4 the wait. ugh god the way i need this is actually so bad for me. anywhooo, hope you little sluts enjoyed this as much as me!! lmk your opinions, and send in more requests!! xx alssooooo, credit to @flowerxbunnie for the slutty bff chris request!!!

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