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#but damn do I want to try
kybee1497 · 10 months
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Wyclair “and they were roommates” au
Aka
A Hyde, a werewolf, and a poltergeist walk into a house
Aka
I just really vibe with enid and Tyler somehow ending up as college roommates. They both register for housing late and as juniors don’t want to live in the dorms so they get stuck in the last house available. Surprise it’s only available because it’s hella haunted and the last 3 students moved out in a hurry.
Wednesday doesn’t give a flying fuck if she technically died decades ago, she has a novel to finish and it doesn’t matter how compelling her new houseguests are, if that werewolf’s incessantly loud noise she deigns to call music interrupts her writing time one. more. time. she’s going to put it through the wall. If the boy who’s aura flickers from the palest blue to streaked through with a bloody crimson doesn’t keep his damned eyes to himself and his culinary experiments to a decent hour, Wednesday will have no choice but to go full Bloody Mary.
Anything for some peace and quiet and finally uncovering what happened to Viper De La Muerte
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inkskinned · 9 months
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you're in the habit of denying yourself things.
if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.
but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?
what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.
and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.
you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.
so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.
it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.
sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.
oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.
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pokimoko · 8 months
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haunting the narrative -> haunted by the narrative -> haunting the narrative -> haunted by
#adventure time#fionna and cake#simon petrikov#betty grof#petrigrof#fan art#fanart#art#digital art#my art#just a lil something something i did for fun#adventure time has always been the show that makes me want to draw (i have SO many AT drawings from 2015 it's ridiculous)#but now I'm coming back to that ye olde passion with new digital art skills and many more evil tragic thoughts (thank you fionna and cake🙏)#i couldn't get the thought about them haunting and be haunted by the narrative out of my head so I had to make some art for it#the caption for this was almost: so who wears the haunted by the narrative in the relationship?#they take turns of course because damn these guys really do be having that tragic romance huh. hot potato cursed existence#never quite on the same wavelength. always out of reach. their love the very thing that dooms them to be apart. a love defined by absences#like two ships in the night passing each other by. except they keep trying to seek the other out. and so end up going in circles#the tragic dance of madness and sadness. lead on and i shall follow. ....so anyway...these two amiright?#/might/ have to write something at some point...maybe...#because like... ghosts are my thing. and these two...well. even when they aren't haunting the narrative they are still ghosts#never let themselves live in the present and okay I'm going to stop now. enjoy the art byeeeee#...AND they'll never be at peace because they'll always be reaching for a version of each other that no longer exists and—#(i am dragged kicking and screaming from the room before i can devolve into a full blown meta)
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divorcedfiddleford · 3 months
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leave the door ajar
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blazing-spectre · 7 months
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MORE Gale tummy sketches bc I am the MOST normal about him atm
He is soft and I need Astarion to use his belly as a squishy stimtoy. As any qualified wizard deserves.
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freminet-writings · 6 months
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i think i got possessed writing it help
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imagine freminet, who's shy, introverted, and all around quiet with everyone, is secretly super kinky
he's more forward and outgoing during sex, his whole personality doing a complete 180
as a submissive, he wants to be tied up, gagged, bent over, spanked, edged, anything and he'll cry and beg you to continue like a little slut <3!
manhandle him, toss him on the bed, make him clean his cum off of you, use only your thigh to get off, put him in pretty lingerie, stockings, skirts, panties, a maid outfit, rip it off of him or fuck him in them until hes so fucked out he can't even think straight
make him wear vibrating panties in public and force him to walk around with cum dripping down his thighs then fuck him until you have to carry him home
he wants to have to call off of a mission because he can't even walk for days, wants the memory all over his body so mark and bruise him as you please, call him a toy a good boy a slut he'll agree while moaning so loud celestia could hear him
as a dominant he's confident and cocky, almost manipulative when he whispers into your ear as he plunges his cock into you like you're nothing but a toy to him
making you deepthroat his cock until you drool all over the floor and he calls you gross, pulling your hair roughly to cum on your face and then doing it again, this time fucking your mouth until he cums down your throat
stuffing your face in the pillows as he fills you over and over with his load, calling you a slut for enjoying it so much, wanting to see your pretty tears as you moan and pant underneath him
your thighs being covered in marks as he eats you out/sucks you off, it's not his fault your thighs are perfect to bite and suck on, you'll have to keep them covered unless you want everyone knowing the sweet diver isn't so sweet afterall
it doesn't matter whether he's submissive or dominant in the end, because he'll always be back being that sweetheart after everything, as he takes care of you or gets taken care of
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titenoute · 2 months
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My prediction for the next episodes. People are yelling on Armand in the Wakfu tags while my boi is going through it. Real talk tho, it's a fucking miracle this guy hasn't turned in a full blown villain yet. I suspect it's a matter of time.
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ectonurites · 1 year
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Byler Week Day 5 — Secret Identities
very loosely interpreting the prompt for today but i've had this idea for a while and... secret identities, Superheroes, that works. anyone who knows me well probably could have seen something like this coming LMAO
also trying to draw Robin & Superboy costumes that look thrown together and home-made when i have spent so much time drawing their actual designs was a challenge
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lunar-years · 10 months
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While I do think it's kind of a weird marketing choice for the Sour and Guts albums to seemingly have near-identical aesthetics, I also think swifties have a weird tendency to impose "eras" on every single artist. like sometimes pop artists just want to keep making pop albums that fit the personal aesthetic of who they truly are not everyone wants to completely reinvent themselves and their sound and their vibe every two years xx
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fuwaprince · 4 months
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👉👈 Hi friends! I have a long, serious post made just for you(!) that isn't full of spoilers, smut or mooning lawn gnomes. Please read if you can, this is a 💥 mutual aid request 💥
It has been a horribly painful and long while as most people following/keeping up with me know. and in a few days I'm going to be down $1500, which is basically all my fucking $
I can't afford Christmas for anybody, which sucks and I'm very sorry. I can't even take care of myself and haven't been, which also sucks and I'm very sorry
Landlords spontaneously raised rent on me more than halfway through this month as punishment for not getting to my house chores and not communicating, to be totally honest with you. I feel ashamed and awful about it but I didn't want to clean the place while multiple ppl living here had tested positive for COVID and kept walking around unmasked... I am not fully vaxxed because I've been too depressed to get any kind of necessary medical care done and I didn't want to catch COVID in the middle of my finals week for the semester. I woke up to being angrily and rudely bitched at first thing after the last of my finals (I passed at least). It wasn't a humanizing text. Fuck the mistreatment though. Rent is now almost doubled and it won't be lowered
There was no room for negotiation and I truly believe they've resorted to pricing me out of living here because the group of renters psychologically tormenting me wasn't effective (actually- putting a picture of my rapist on the fridge rly was super effective in getting me to isolate myself in my room all day and so was outing me as trans to the transphobic ass neighbors.... But I didn't and still don't have any place better to move out to, like the way they were hoping I would. Yes, I have looked and BEGGED btw)
I want out of here NOW, but I can't leave. I tried and had to come back because it was the best option. I can't afford to stay in a motel/hotel/BnB just to get away from them for a day or two during Christmas. I don't have any friends who I can spend the holiday with either. During the semester, I resorted to convincing classmates with keys to locked buildings to let me crash in them while they worked at night and I would leave before anybody showed up. Now that school is out, I can't do that. I don't have any family I can reach out to for support or friends who I can depend on for immediate help. I have been crying day in and day out for weeks. I have records of it posted throughout my blog. Literally crying for days on end. I'm being so fucking transparent
All that lump of text is to explain to whoever is out there, who might be listening and willing and able, to please consider helping me, if and ONLY IF able. I know times are tough and if you'd rather use your $ for other reasons or just don't have any to spare, don't sweat it and take care! 🫂
I've thought about what I could do for a long time and have helped myself how I can. It isn't enough. I've applied for so much assistance. Been approved and been sabotaged by my inhumane mom (who does not love me) via stealing my legal documents and letters and hiding them for months. My mind jumps to grim places but I'm clinging for dear life to whatever hope I have left that says things will get better. I wish I knew somebody with a business that I could work for. Part of me feels so fucking terrible for asking for help because I feel like a waste of all your resources. I feel like I shouldn't ask, like I really do not fucking deserve help, but there are friends online who care, who I know mentioned being interested in helping in whatever ways they can
So to the people who care to seriously me, I'm ready to accept it: please send me nice words to get through this and feel less alone. It feels pathetic to ask but I would love a nice letter. A nice card even. Kind words of any kind would go a long way. It means more to me than food. I have felt so broken and every day feels like a test to figure out how badly I actually want to live
I'm also leaving my cash app and paypal here in case anybody would like to do more than what I'm comfortable asking but probably very likely will inevitably need very very soon. I will be left with fucking nothing and I will have no idea what to do once rent is paid
Thank you to those of you who have sent love, offered to listen and heard me out. I really wish it wasn't so hard to survive. I'm trying to feel better knowing there are people out there who are also without help and hoping the best, but it doesn't make me feel any better or comforted tbh. I just wish the help was there for us. I wish there was a place to go for spare love, care, compassion, empathy, kindness, humanity, generosity... I need that more than I need $. Call me stupid but that's what I live for. I don't live for paying to survive in terrible conditions. I live for love and to smile with friends
I hope to write back to the friends who have already been so kind as to message me soon btw. I'm sorry for not replying sooner. Your overwhelming support is sincerely sweet and sometimes I cry because I can't believe people are so nice (to me???). It'll give me something to do that doesn't make me feel like dying! :') so thank you thank you thank you *fist bump*
Hope you're all doing as well as you can and that somehow things get better. Hope anybody else struggling like me doesn't make the mistake of isolating like a sick and dying animal. You deserve love. You deserve support. Don't be like me. Have the courage to reach out to the people who care about you for help as early on into your emergency as possible. Don't let your situation snowball because you spend so long trying to figure out if you're worth it!!! This Random Tumblr user is here to tell you that YOU ARE. Sending my infinite everlasting unconditional love. Be nice to yourselves. Be nice to each other. Fuck the hateful assholes who wish I would just kill myself already. Tell your friends you love them. Happy Holidays!!!
And here's a single picture of a mooning lawn gnome at the very end, as a treat! I told you this post wasn't full of it.... It just ended with it 👉👉
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chirpsythismorning · 5 days
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Fun fact: In the original pitch for Stranger Things, El had a little brother.
After being rejected by almost 20 studios for the Montauk pilot, the Duffers were finally green-lit by Netflix. It was at this time that they began casting and then writing the first season officially, which included reworking a lot of that first episode.
This led to the removal of the brother reference, and with it, removing any sort of arc El could have had about her apparent brother.
But the thing about this moment, is that it might not have been scrapped entirely...
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Going into the final season, no one can explain why or how El recognized Will back in 1x02. And while there are plenty of things on the show that are left unexplained, with a small portion likely left that way with the intention to uncover it later, what sets this moment apart from the rest is that there are very few possibilities here.
Because for starters, the story presents El's ability to see people in the void in s1 as requiring either a picture of that person for reference, or having met that person before.
But when El see's this picture of Will, she's never met him before. Or maybe she has, but we wouldn't know because they never showed us. They could have just not done this scene at all, given that it's clearly a copy/paste/edit of something scrapped from the pitch. Or they could have even still included it, but explained it.
One explanation could be that the lab had shown El a picture of Will before, similar to what they did with the Russian agent they wanted to spy on. But then that begs to question, why would the lab show El a picture of Will? Why would they want to see what he was doing? That alone is incriminating in and of itself, implying that Will is more connected to the lab than we realize.
The only other, and frankly most likely explanation, would be that El stumbled across Will at some point on her journey between escaping the lab and Will going missing. This is actually something that happens in The Other Side comic, which explores all the things Will may have experienced during his time in the Upside Down.
Though it’s worth noting the comics aren’t technically canon, and I highly doubt they would outright spoil everything in relation to Will’s time there, years before it was intended to be revealed. But still, let's humor this for a moment given that I do think Will's time in the UD is going to be very relevant in s5, which means it's highly likely they will finally address how exactly El saw him.
Basically, in the comic, Will see’s El walking through the woods, almost apparition like, glowing as she passes by, while also sporting the Benny’s burgers shirt. This means they would have crossed passed within a short span of time, between when El escaped Benny’s when the agents arrived, but before she was found by the boys.
Though it’s worth noting that we’re seeing this all from Will’s perspective. This means from the UD, Will was capable of seeing El on the other side, despite them being on different sides. And not only that, but she also looks back at him.
What confuses me about this, is that it doesn’t make sense for El to be in the woods, only to randomly decide to pop in to the void for a moment. She was trying to escape the lab and everything that came with it. I doubt she had any desire to lurk back there for some reason, not until someone encouraged her to. Not to mention, it would make no sense for her to go there and see Will if she wasn't even looking for him in the first place. And so this would mean Will and El could see each other, with Will being in the UD, and El being on the other side.
While it does seem pretty far off, given that you would think Will and El wouldn't be able to see each other from different sides, it is true in the story that El not only recognizes Will, but knows that he is in danger. She mentions that he is hiding specifically.
Which means she has likely seen him within the last 24 hours regardless.
This, in combination with Will being able to respond to El in the void at the end of the season in Castle Byers, when no one else outside of Terry and flayed-Billy have been able to, seems to imply that there is indeed something special about Will that makes him capable of communicating with El from the UD. Not only that, but El also seems to have an ability to be in this constant knowing state of how Will is doing, without even checking again to confirm. She's just certain of it. And she seems terrified about it.
Going forward, El never uses a picture of Will to find him. She never did. And more often than not, they don’t show us what she see’s either, not until the very end. And that’s the moment they reveal that he was able to communicate with her.
Again, there was really no reason to have El recognize Will. If anything it complicates things. But the fact that they chose to introduce this concept, with a scene from the original pitch that was related to El’s younger brother, with her pointing at his name cryptically, startling Benny, only to revamp it and have El not say anything at all while pointing at the picture of Will, startling Mike… It just really makes you stop and think.
Which brings me to the other aspect of this that might have people doubting, which is that El’s brother was originally younger than her.
We know Will is not younger than El, so how could this apply to him?
Well, it might be helpful to consider that in the original script, El was actually 10 years old, while the boys were always 12. Meaning that for some reason, they decided to age her up to the age of the boys, aka the same age as Will…
Ever since @erikiara80 shared this brother discovery with me, I have been sort of reeling. It then led to other little discoveries of changes they made between Montauk and Stranger Things.
It’s important to understand that the Montauk bible and the original script precedes what we ended up with in the final product, with it finally changing and evolving months, maybe even a year since that original vision. Even casting occurred before writing started for the first season. We know this because casting announcements were made in June and August of 2015, with writing not starting until August going into early 2016, simultaneously while they were filming.
And believe it or not, what I've discovered is that a lot of the changes they made between their original plans and what we see in the final product, have to do with not only Willel, but also Byler.
If you've read the original script for Montauk, you'll know that Mike's crush on Jennifer Hayes was focused on right from the jump, along with the birthmark on his face being focused on, which was the main cause of the bullying he experienced.
This has actually been talked about recently, and some of the claims people make do fit with what I am genuinely starting to consider here, which is that the initial plan for what makes Mike an outcast shifted.
I think when they completed casting, and started actually deep diving into what they wanted this world to look like, both from a short-term and long-term standpoint, they were presented with some pretty interesting discoveries, arguably already hiding in their initial plans without realizing it.
And this is where it sort of becomes a 'chicken or the egg' situation. Because which one came first? Byler or Willel?
I can't say for certain, because obviously this is all just speculation. But in the case that Willel came first, I think Byler would come very naturally after that.
The Duffers themselves are twins. Then they hire Noah, who is a twin. Then they're thinking and planning for El's past and how her family all fits into this, and they're thinking... wait a damn minute... We could totally Star Wars this bitch!
And then when they think it couldn't get any better, they uncover another layer that they hadn't planned or really considered in their initial plans.
While Will was always going to have sexual identity issues according to the Montauk bible, meaning that the writing process for him likely involved sitting down imagining scenarios that encapsulated this arc for Will from the beginning, they were simultaneously now finding very interesting aspects of Mike's character that made it hard not to at least consider the possiblity that Mike is not exactly straight.
Just think about it. The Byers and Wheelers are basically polar opposites on the spectrum of what a family looks like. While Will's discovery and acceptance of his queerness is interesting to explore because he comes from a low-income, single-mom household, all while having been bullied for years based on his perceived queerness, he also has a mother and brother constantly reinforcing that they will accept him no matter what. They've been sort of hitting us over the head with it for years, and so it wouldn't be very satisfying for his entire arc to merely lead up to something we've known all along. It's pretty much a given at this point.
On the other side of the spectrum, Mike comes from a more upper-middle class family at the end of a cul-de-sac, more aligned with what a nuclear family looks like. Mike's family is also presented as being more conservative, and while Karen does give that very queer-coded speech to Mike in s1 (I'm convinced they only wrote this after deciding to explore queer-coding more heavily with Mike), it also comes with comments from Ted and even still Karen that hint that they are probably not as open-minded and accepting as Will's family is to him. Which means Mike's arc would be a lot more about acceptance around him from his loved ones who we have been led to believe might not be as accepting of his queerness in contrast to Will.
And so as they're putting this story together, and they're being presented with something very interesting. Two similar experiences that play out in different ways because of the characters circumstances.
Will goes missing, and his twin sister with a buzzcut pops up and has the ability to help them find Will.
This leads to several moments where El is being compared to as not only a boy, but Will as well.
Now suddenly, their initial plans to have Mike's arc be about having a girl be interested in him and to hopefully have his first kiss and feel like less of a loser, starts to look a lot like what the experience a queer kid in his position might encounter growing up in the environment that he did.
And if you don't want to take my word for it, just hear the Duffer's themselves hinting at what they initially planned for Mike and the fact that it changed.
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The changes don't stop there.
Believe it or not, 'It was a seven', did not exist in the initial pitch. When the boys went outside bickering over Nancy, they leave right after that.
Another thing that changed from the first script, was Scott Clarke's introduction:
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And so you might be thinking, who cares? What does that have to do with anything?
Well, it's interesting because the line we end up with on the show is arguably one of the most on the nose Twelvegate proofs to date. Mind you, this is from the first episode:
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Why chuck the original version, which was arguably more interesting and fascinating in terms of it hinting at the mysteriousness surrounding this story, only to replace it with him listing off tips about their upcoming test?
Well, I think it's the irony of it all. Here Mr. Clarke is practically telling us where to look to figure stuff out for ourselves what is going on, with all the kids filing out and ignoring him...
I relate to Scott a litttle too much in this shot here, any time I try to drop Willel evidence.
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And the changes go on, as they obviously would.
Things like Terry Ives not even being El's mom, but actually a man who more so aligns with the characterization of Murray.
And one very interesting one I almost overlooked was in Hopper's introduction, where instead of a kids drawing done by who we assume to be Sarah, we actually see a picture on the wall of him and his wife and daughter... Interesting that they decided to switch it something that is a lot less definitive in presenting what Hopper's past looked like...
If you've made it this far, congratulations.
If you still think I'm out of my mind, just remember that El was going to have a brother in the original script, but they scrapped the scene and gave a near identical one to introduce her connection to Will instead 😘
#byler#stranger things#willel twins#twelvegate#montauk#as you can see#i am out of my mind#and i'm okay with that#i've spent the last couple months trying to make a video going over all the willel twin evidence#and i can't decide if it's even possible to do without going over an hour#like there is just so much shit that fits too perfectly into this family being ripped apart by mind control and time shenanigans#i hope to have it done soon#trying to make it less than 20 minutes#but it's probably going to end up being closer to an hour#especially with this stuff from the montauk pitch being added to the mix now#anyways#willel and byler are the curtain behind the curtain#if you are open to one of them#you are bound to stumble across the other#and they don't want that to happen#stay tuned for the inevitable twin imagery to continue in s5 related to willel leading up to the big reveal#bc it's arguably the most consistent thing about this damn show#and tbh this all just makes the queer-coding for mike in s1 a lot more concrete to me#them exploring will's queerness through his dad's expectations for him to do more 'manly' things like play baseball#and jonathan saying he shouldn't like things just bc people telll him he's supposed to#how they connect that narratively with the boys being at a baseball field when mike's being pressured about his supposed feelings for el#with the bullies showing up and literally being homophobic seconds later#the fact that jennifer hayes did in fact exist in the original pilot and was the girl mike had a crush on#only for them to scrap that and just make it about her having a crush on will...#never once introducing this idea of mike liking her...
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tickletails · 7 months
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Had another thought: Prismo trying to make a tickle monster just for fun but he gets too flustered halfway through & gives up. But one day the Scarab finds it on his laptop! The teasing would be relentless!! Either he found it on his own while browsing or they were scrolling together & he saw Prismo scroll by super fast & he gets really flustered & dodgy about it
BANGER AFTER BANGER OH he would. he definitely has a ton of random embarassing self indulgent stuff he made on the character creation program he's 100% the type..
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daftpatience · 2 months
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one thing I have learned about being poor is that you cannot for a moment stop thinking about it
#theres no peace#every little thing reminds me we are poor#seeing friends having electricity wifi heat food gas. it all costs money. and bills and fees and charges happen all the damn time#im constantly worried that i am measing up somehow or im not keeping track of my finances properly#the person handling our disability assistance application keeps coming back with question after question about my job#and i have so much doubt and fear that ive made some mistake in my answers that will disqualify us from support#and theres this sick backwards stupid thing where applying for and being on disability support is discouraging me from trying to make money#because the more i make the less likely we'll get support but i need to make money to live#its just fucked. and once we're on support i have to make monthly reports of my income so ill feel like im explaining myself all the fuckin#time#cus the system isnt built in a way that makes sense for self employed ppl who have business expenses to account for#sorry for the ranting i cant sleep#truly truly i think poverty is making me a worse persin#more anxious more resentful more jealous more miserable more spiteful#i have so little and there is so little i can do to help it#i want things in a more desparate and even childish way than i used to eant things#spend a lot more time fantasizing about magically having expendable income#not to mention the constant exponential guilt that comes from asking for help or recieving help. its guilt i need to unlearn but i feel it
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buwheal · 25 days
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alright gang what we thinkin Ive been doing this without a reference this entire damn time and its KILLING my consistency.... sigh... me when i have to follow the properties of a character to draw them correctly.... (bwomp)... /j
is he fucked up enough
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VH - The Thorn in Villains' side
“Wake up, you creature of the night, and despair !”
“Nooo, sleepy, beddy-bye -”
“I said wake up !”
Vampire Hero opened an eye, blinked and yawned. He didn’t look at Villain at once. That was the courtyard itself that caught his attention. He was in the middle of it, tied to a pillar. All around him were huge spikes of metal, as if he was in the center of a gigantic metal flower. They all were curved at different angles. You couldn’t step amid them without being scratched, at least. In a sense, that was pretty. Villain themself was on a balcony, their hands on the balustrade, dominating the scene.
“Kids”, he whispered with leniency. “What they do these days.”
“Shame”, said Villain who hadn’t heard him. “You interest me. I thought we could talk.”
Vampire Hero yawned again for all answer.
“Is it insolence ? Or is it the pain of having been under the sun for all day ?”
“Pain ? Why ?”
“You vampires can’t bear the sun.”
“Oh, I understand the confusion. No. Do you know how some birds fall asleep immediately when you cover their cage, because they think it’s the night ?”
“I suppose ?”
“Well, I work the other way around. I have a sunbeam on my face, I get sleepy. It doesn’t hurt me; I just take a nap.”
Then his tone shifted abruptly:
“All day long ? You mean I’ve been here for more than a day ?”
“Yes.”
“I see.”
His voice was now icy. Villain had a delicate little cough.
“I admit I didn’t know about sunlight. What about silver, then ?”
“That would work on vampires, yes.”
“You’re in luck. All these spikes are covered with silver. If you want to free yourself, you need to get through them.”
Vampire Hero hissed in annoyance:
“Ugh. Any particular reason why ?”
“Unless you want to rot in here forever.”
“No, I mean. Let me get this straight. You’ve made all these spikes so I could walk over them for a couple of minutes ? It just seems kinda wasteful.”
“If you want to talk about waste, time’s ticking. Why won’t you have your little dance right now ? You have two minutes before reaching me.”
“Yeah, okay.”
Vampire Hero slipped out of his bonds and stepped forward. He whistled.
“That’s quite the thorn forest you have there. Gasp ! Curses, even. What’s a poor vampire to do ?”
He slowly turned his head toward Villain and smirked:
“Hey, watch this.”
He extended his hand and casually patted the flat side of the spike.
“Oh no”, he said in a toneless voice, while staring at Villain. “I’m doomed. Ouch. Argh. And such.”
Slowly he smiled, revealing his razor-like teeth.
“Do you see it ? Do you begin to see it ?”
“See what ?”
“Your mistake.”
“Show off”, whispered Villain.
“Possibly, yes. At least I’m not ordering useless death traps on a whim. I’ve always made sure they worked first.”
“Death traps ? You are a hero.”
“Now, yes.”
Vampire Hero took a couple of steps among the spikes, decided it was quite enough, jumped, caught the guardrail and climbed the balcony. He hadn't avoided all of them, far from it, but when he landed on his feet, his face was emotionless. There was maybe a twinge of exasperation. He stood still in front of Villain. They both stayed quiet for a moment.
“What are you ?” finally asked Villain.
“A vampire hero.”
“No you’re not. You don’t fear silver or sunlight and you had death traps. You’re neither. What are you ?”
“I am pissed off. I want to be home every night and you’ve prevented me to do it.”
“Why ?”
“I'm married. Just know you’re very lucky I am what I said. I’ll let you live. Reluctantly.”
Villain barely reacted when he pinned them against the wall, whispering in their ear:
“Now then ! You’ve made me lose time. You owe me a drink.”
*
Vampire Hero is now a recurring character. His job is to troll current villains. Click on the Vampire Hero Masterlist or Tag for more snippets with him.
Or back to Hero x Villain Masterlist.
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ghouljams · 9 months
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*Gasp* Can we get 1870! Cowboy Au Valeria??? What would she be??? How would she meet her partner??? Is it slow burn or do they move fast??? Does she try to kill her partner, like enemies to lovers or maybe it's lovers to enemies to lovers?!?!
I don't know what this is, I just want more Valeria....
Can I please have more of her ಥ⁠╭⁠╮⁠ಥ
🐇
Actually yeah you can because I have ideas for her and Los Vaqueros in the 1870 au, I'll do Alejandro and Rudy later, here's Valeria:
El Sin Nombre is an outlaw that no one has managed to come even close to capturing. Their gang is feared and loved in equal measure, both for the safety they provide and the money they take for providing it. It's a large bounty on El Sin Nombre's head, large enough to draw the most desperate of gunslingers, or the stupidest. A bounty that big is basically a warning. You're not one to get involved in squabbles like that. You think in another life being a gunslinger might be fun, but in this one you're a stable hand. A horse trainer on a good day, a muck shoveler on a bad one.
On the best days you get to see Valeria. She's not in town often, only when she's looking to break in a new horse or collect a shipment of some kind, but when she is it's like the whole world holds its breath. You hold your breath, until she tells you to relax. She always looks over your horses with a critical eye, asks you questions about their health, their speed, whether they spook easy, if they've ever been out in the dust. You don't know what sort of work she does, but you know it wears her horse down fast.
The poor creature is always in need of something when she rides into town. It's a lovely chestnut stallion, that you think might be the proudest horse you've ever had the misfortune of trying to care for. You've been nipped by it more times than you can count. Really you should stop accepting its reins, but every time Valeria holds them out to you, you have to take them. You can't ignore an animal in need anyway. Especially when she thanks you every time you hand him back.
"He's just as good as new," she compliments, petting the horse's neck. The animal preens at her touch.
"I called the ferrier and got him new shoes, gave him a bath, he had a small abscess in his mouth but a little salt water'll clear that up quick," you pat the horse's flank and try not to flinch away from the stamp of its foot.
"Play nice, I like this one," Valeria coos to it in Spanish. You don't think she knows you speak her mother tongue, you're never sure how to bring that up.
"Did your, uh, business go well?" You ask, trying to make conversation. Valeria signals for one of the men she's with to pay you and hooks her foot in her stirrup to swing onto the horse's back.
"What do you think, did it go well?" She asks her group, the Spanish lilts off her tongue in a way that drives you half mad. One of the men laughs.
"As well as a bullet through the brain, and more money in our pockets."
Valeria hums, you pretend you didn't hear or understand that. It makes your blood run cold to think about. You do this a lot around Valeria, pretending you don't have suspicions about her work, fearing and loving her in equal measure. She really looks beautiful from the ground, the sun shining behind her head and casting dark shadows over her face.
"Things always go well for me," she tells you in english, and you believe her. You think the earth would quit spinning if she asked it to. All the stars in the sky would line up perfectly straight if she commanded.
"That's good," you nod, taking the money offered to you by her subordinate graciously. It's always smart to be gracious when dealing with people you suspect.
"Do you like working here, this-" She grimaces, "-shithole?"
"I like it better when you're here," you tell her honestly, it's good to be honest with people you suspect as well. You never want to be caught in a lie that could cost your life. Better to be honest, especially when it's complimentary.
Valeria laughs, throws her head back and laughs. You think that's a good sign. When she finishes, she pulls her hat from her head and leans to settle it on yours. "You should be careful with your sweet talk," she tips the hat low over your eyes, "next time I might steal you too."
You push her hat back as she snaps her reins to take off down the street. The sun might be getting to you with how warm you feel. You think something might've just happened, you hope it was something good. Because you're starting to think the man with no name might be a woman, and that is a much more dangerous line of thinking.
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