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#but damn these fireworks are really romantic <3
sebfreak · 5 months
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ashherahh · 1 month
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your first date + first interactions with your future spouse
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Note: Please take it if it resonates, leave it if it doesn't. Meditate before making your decision. It's completely okay if you don't resonate with this reading. The collective is huge and I'm sure you'll receive the messages you need in due time.
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pile 1
Cards: King of Wands, The Sun, Temperance, The Fool, Four of Wands
I literally giggled when the first card popped out! This is a very much a "When I see you, it's on sight" kinda situation.
I'm not saying you'll get hot and heavy on your first date (maybe), but I'm picking up that the attraction is very energetic and very, very strong. You feel like you met someone who matches your freak in every way.
I'm seeing a lot of smiling, giggling. They make you nervous, you'll probably not realise how much you're blushing until you decide to go to the restroom and see how absolutely down bad you look. You'll leave the date with your cheeks hurtin'!
I'm picking up a very chilled setting as a first date, the date itself is very low-key but damn, the vibes... The vibes are immaculate. Either you or your future spouse immediately know that you're it for each other. Maybe both of you realise it at the same time!
For some of you, you might be on a dating app or your friends put you on the dating up and you matched with your future spouse. The conversation was quite normal, no real fireworks and that's why your first date was at a very neutral place. But y'all, when you see each other and start talking and laughing, FIREWORKS!
For others, I see you apart of the same group of people. Like you might have mutual friends and see each other at parties and events or whatever. They always caught your eye and you always caught theirs but you never really spoke to each other. There's an image clearly in my mind for some of you, you're sitting on the couch with this person while a party is dying down (finally, sort of alone). There's sparks, connection, it's all so intimate.
I'm seeing New Year's might be significant for this pile. There's a lot of physical and spiritual attraction here. It's also very giddy. It's that feeling you get when you just can't stop laughing, an overwhelming joy.
pile 2
Cards: Two of Swords, Judgement, Five of Swords, Wheel of Fortune, Six of Cups, Three of Wands
Your future spouse plans your first date. They really wine and dine you actually. They're more of a romantic than you are. When you meet your future spouse, one of you is looking to settle down and be in an exclusive, proper relationship and one of you is on the fence.
My dear reader, I feel like you'll be the one on the fence.
For some of you, there's a person in your past you felt like should've been your end game but it seemed like there was something always missing. You might be in a state of right person, wrong time and it's left you feeling hopeless. You're sorting of still waiting on them...
When you meet your future spouse, it's like you're going on a series of dates to get this past lover out of your mind. Your future spouses energy is very gentle and understanding, but you're not really paying attention in the beginning. They are willing to wait for you.
This isn't an immediate knowing. You don't know this person is your future spouse when you meet them, you might be seeing a few people while seeing them. I'm not seeing cheating but I am seeing is that you two don't get exclusive immediately.
You're feeling out your options. Deep down you're afraid of making the wrong one and a part of you is like, is there even a wrong one? Do I believe in stuff like The One? Your past lover did a number on you, I can see.
I do see that everything eventually comes to a head and you need to make a decision, I see you making the right one for yourself in that space and time. Don't worry, your future spouse does stick around and I see you two smoothing all the rough patches.
pile 3
Cards: Strength, The Chariot, The Moon, Page of Pentacles, Two of Cups Rx, Ace of Swords Rx
Interactions with your future spouse leave you feeling like you're in a game of cat and mouse. Oh my goodness, they make you flustered! Oh, but you keep telling yourself they're not your type and you will not date someone like them.
You guys know of each other for a while. Maybe you went to the same schools or you even met them at uni and they just always left a sour taste in your mouth.
Hectic, I'm picking up strongly that you're turned off by them because they always have their foot in their mouth and they say dumb shit to you. That's hilarious! Be a little patient with them, you make them nervous.
Goodness, I see them treating you like royalty and they just want to be your loyal subject. Oooh, they literally just want to please you. If you ever do give them a chance just know that you're getting SPOILED.
They're going above and beyond for your first date and even though you have the impression of them that they're a bumbling oaf, you're surprised by how much attention to detail they put into everything. For some of you there's three parts to your first date, it'll last for hours actually and in that time, pile 3, they ended up cracking you open like a walnut!
You have to let your heart guide you in matters of the heart. Your mind will not be able to understand what your heart is telling you. This is especially the case as your future spouse challenges your idea of who you envisioned your future spouse to be. Good luck, babe!
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002yb · 1 year
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I had an idea. What if a never adopted Dick Grayson stays in the circus and he meets Jason Todd Wayne, the son of the most known billionaire in the town. And while hes really interested in the handsome boy what actually draws him in its the way Jason's eyes light up while he looks at Dick while performing, how he waits for him after the show to thank him (being the blushiest of boys) for such an amazing show, how after, when they're talking in the night his eyes reflect the fireworks and Dick is sure that Jason's orbs are more beautiful that anything hes seen
(Also imagine Bruce being an embarrasing dad and bith trying to set his boy up with his acrobat crush and wanting to preserve the babygirl's virtue)
An intense but fleeting love affair during Haly's brief tenure in Gotham because the trope never stays in any one city for too long. They're a traveling circus, after all. It's passionate and wonderful and sweet though and Jason holds onto the memories of it forever. //u///
In every universe, let Dick Grayson be Jason's first love. <3
It's not traditional for a circus act, but Jason still brings a bouquet of flowers to give Dick after one of his performances. And he's at that age where he gets tongue-tied and shy in light of all his awe and wonder, but the sentiment is so clear and Dick is so taken by this sweet boy. Performing is such a high for Dick, but to see Jason's wonder is exhilarating.
Dick taking one of the flowers from the bouquet and giving it to Jason. And when Jason stands there like a deer in the headlights, flushed and flustered, Dick laughs a bit - charmed - and tucks the flower behind Jason's ear and through the curls of his hair before he parts with a devastating smile and the warmest of thank you's
Also, back it the fuck up. Dick not realizing the flowers are for him. And he comments on how pretty they are before he gets the memo and the above happens. And then when he tucks the flower behind Jason's ear he gives Jason a little look and smiles a cheeky little smirk and is all sweetly flirty with a, 'yeah, pretty.'
AHH
Meanwhile Bruce standing two feet behind Jason just barely holding himself back from smacking Dick's hands away because this is fine. It's harmless. Jason, his sweet baby girl, is happy as can be. Look at that blush burning on the back of his neck. Oh, fuck.
Omg Dick making eye contact with Bruce and giving him one of these little ornery menace smiles •ᴗ•
That's how Bruce sees it, at least. In truth, it's a completely normal smile. And Bruce smiles back, but ◉‿◉
What I said about this being a fleeting love affair? Wrong. It's a years long thing that comes about because Haly purposefully makes a stop in Gotham every damn time and Bruce takes it personal. So does Jason, romantic that he is.
A relationship developing throughout the years. Friendship and youthful crushes and everyone knows it and thinks it's darling
It's Dick giving Jason a tour of the circus and introducing him to all his extended family
It's Dick being most excited to show Jason to the elephant. And laughing when Jason startles when Zitka scoops Jason up to sit on her trunk. Dick balancing Jason until he steadies and then they're all close and cozy and Bruce sees them from a distance and is mildly panicked because Jason can't have a boyfriend yet it's too soon this is scary territory alfred--
But also Dick teaching Jason other little tricks. Like juggling. And knife throwing. Little acrobatic tricks.
Dick bringing out Jason's playful side. An active encouragement given to Jason's quick wit and sharp tongue because Dick meets Jason tit for tat each time.
And by the time they're older, they're an unspoken thing. Whenever Dick gets back into town, Jason isn't far. It's the sweetest reunion each time with beaming smiles and hugs where Dick spins Jason around a couple of times before settling and just breathing in this boy he doesn't see nearly enough.
It's them getting into more trouble as they race through the circus
It's Jason helping to set everything up because he's so familiar with the going-ons
Sometimes Dick isn't even around. Jason will hang out with whoever is free. Oftentimes the older trope members, the retired aunties and uncles who entertain before the main act.
Omg, Jason sitting with some sweet granny and when Dick comes to fetch him after taking care of Dick's own chores, the granny shoos Dick away because he's not stealing Jason away that quick - wait his turn
Just Jason having endeared himself to a tight knit group after years and years
Dick used to be the circus sweetheart, but lbr. When Jason became Dick's sweetheart, things changed. //u///
But yes, more sweet happenings!
With Dick racing away with Jason after shows to get to the best spot to watch fireworks. Being more lost in the reflection of them off Jason's eyes than anything. Jason teasing Dick about how the fireworks are up there and Dick, smooth as can be, laughs and blatantly flirts because the fireworks are right here (as he points between the two of them)
And Jason flusters so bad he's sure he dies a bit and he shoves Dick and complains because corny (but Jason loves that)
Just two not quiet kids, not yet adults walking that line of plausible deniability although like...this is it
But wait:
Jason always bringing Dick a bouquet of flowers and Dick returning the same ritual of threading flowers in Jason's hair
And when Dick whisks them off to be alone after shows, all the sprigs of smaller flowers and foliage end up a crown over Jason's head. Sometimes with small petals stuck to Jason's skin
Extras:
Because you know there has to be a little silks scene where Dick gets his arm around Jason and gets them soaring off the floor in a little circle
And also trapeze because there's no way it can't happen
Just Jason leaping (and whoops forgot about Bruce, but his heart stops because that's his kid falling he doesn't care there's a safety net) and Dick drops himself from where his knees were hooked over his own bar until he's holding on by just his ankles because he saw Jason didn't jump quiet far enough
And it's just more charming smiles and heart thumping cuteness and Jason being in awe while Dick is all enamored ahhhhhh
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As an aro who wants a qpr, reading your qpr of Hero and Villain makes me feel wonderful about myself. Especially because I’m ok with my future qpp feeling romantic feelings for me, as long as they respect that I don’t feel romance towards them.
I’m interested in you writing a prequel snippet where Hero comes out to Villain!
Hey there fellow aro! It means so much to me that you like this series
Part 5 may have gotten a little heavy? But I hope you like it anyways
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Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
QPR, Part 5 (Prequel)
This was all the hero’s fault.
In their defense, it was news to them that the villain had been flirting.
But maybe they should have known. The witty compliments, the thoughtful gifts, the flimsy excuses to run into the hero again and again and again . . . yeah, anyone else probably would’ve seen this coming from a mile away. 
It’s just that the hero didn’t see why those things had to be romantic. They complimented their friends all the time. Bought them presents, spent time with them, told them they loved them. Why did everyone act like romance had a monopoly on care?
Why was friendship never enough?
But none of that made a difference right now. Because the villain clearly had other intentions. The hero felt a pang of guilt for every close moment they’d ever shared with their nemesis.
“I tend to find,” the villain said, resting their arms on the balcony’s rails, “that if you lean into the cheesiness, it becomes endearing.”
The hero glanced at them. “How many laws did you break?”
“Surprisingly, not that many. You wouldn’t believe the kinds of things you can get a permit for.”
“Still, I’m sure there’ll be noise complaints.”
The fireworks spelling “[Hero], will you go out with me?” burned in the night sky like glowing colorful candy. A second bout of fireworks shot up, forming an enormous heart.
“So, did it work?” the villain asked, grin as bright as the explosives. “Did I endear you?”
The hero peered over. The villain’s expression was easygoing, their stance casual.
But their eyes betrayed them.
Their eyes held enough hope to flood a citadel.
This was all the hero’s fault.
“Look, [Villain] . . . I . . .”
The light flickered dead on the villain’s face, and the hero felt like a murderer.
“Oh,” they said, voice deceptively calm. “I see.”
“It’s not because of you, it’s – ”
“Please.” The villain’s eyes were cast downwards. Away from the hero, away from the dazzling display. “Please spare me the ‘it’s not you it’s me’ speech.”
The hero faltered.
But then their jaw set. They needed the villain to understand.
“I’m aroace,” they said.
The villain glanced up, brows scrunched in confusion. “What’s that?”
The hero should have expected this. But still, they wanted to groan. Of all the times to pull out the god damned vocab lesson.
“It’s short for aromantic asexual,” they said, suppressing a sigh. “It means you feel little to no sexual or romantic attraction. In my case . . . I don’t feel it at all.” They met the villain’s eyes. “Ever.”
The villain paused for a moment. Was the hero imagining the disbelief on their face?
“So you just . . . can’t fall in love?”
I love so much and so deeply, the hero thought, some days I’m sure my heart will burst from it.
“Yeah,” they said. “I’m just not capable of that sort of feeling.”
Because allos only ever meant one thing when they said “fall in love.”
The villain searched the hero’s face. “Are you sure you’re not just a late bloomer?”
The hero’s fingers curled at the question. The villain didn’t know any better, they reminded themself. They didn’t realize the implications behind those words.
Maybe you’re just a late bloomer. Maybe one day, you’ll mature out of a fundamental part of yourself.
Maybe one day, you’ll be normal like the rest of us.
“Even if I am one,” the hero said, with a sad smile, “do you really want to wait around forever on the slim chance that I am?”
The villain averted their gaze.
“I’m never going to date again,” the hero continued. “I’m not going to get married. So it’d be best if you just try to move on.”
Of course, the hero’s statement was misleading. It made it sound like the hero wasn’t open to anything. But silently, secretly, within their quiet moments all to themself, the hero longed for a QPR.
Something lasting. Something real. Something treasured and special and intimate, that defied the very definition of what a relationship could be.
But that wasn’t the sort of relationship the villain wanted. Even bringing it up right now would just give them more false hope. It would be nothing but cruel.
“Can we be friends, then?” the villain asked, pulling the hero out of their thoughts.
“Sure,” the hero said. But their smile was fake.
They’d done this dance before. The villain would make an honest effort at friendship. They really would. But then, eventually, they would realize that the hero’s continued presence in their life was making it impossible to move on.
And then the hero would lose the villain forever.
They blinked. If they weren’t careful, they were going to cry.
“Okay,” the villain said, sounding relieved. “So long as we can stay friends.”
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The villain sat in front of their computer, illuminated by its cold ghostly glow.
On their desk sat a bottle of whiskey. There was a tiny pink post-it note stuck to the bottom corner of their screen, covering the digital clock so that they couldn’t see what ungodly hour of the night it was.
This evening had almost been the most devastating fuckup of their life.
What if the hero had been creeped out by their romantic advances? What if they hadn’t believed the villain about remaining friends?
The hero could have disappeared from the villain’s life entirely.
The villain took another shot of whiskey.
So here they were, combing through the internet for every mention they could find of asexuality and aromanticism. They had to make sure they didn’t mess things up again.
As it turned out, there were never-ending nuances to these identities. Hundreds of different perspectives, piles upon piles of vocabulary words, strange new concepts that the villain struggled to wrap their head around.
It was getting increasingly difficult to keep up.
They were currently scrolling through reddit, a surprisingly helpful resource. Some person had started a thread asking the internet if they might be aro.
At least I won’t have to watch [Hero] get with anyone else, they thought, as their eyes drifted over the comments.
Then, their attention snagged on a new word. Actually, an acronym.
QPR.
Great. Yet another thing to look up.
They clicked open a new tab, and typed the term into the search bar.
As they read, their gaze sharpened. They sat up straighter. Leaned in.
This was . . .
But was it actually viable? What if this was too close to romance? What if the hero wouldn’t go for it?
Could the villain dare hope that they had a second chance?
They finished their whiskey, and slammed the empty bottle back down on the desk.
Well, there was no harm in asking, right?
Part 6
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A-spec stories taglist:
@feline17ff , @piept , @doublericenobeans , @vioqueenofmushrooms
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generalwildcat · 1 year
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I have a LOT of feelings about the Redlyn breakup scene.
Ok maybe just a little bit of venting ahead.... I knew this was coming. I was hoping so much it was just a rumor or one of those plots that's not really a plot to throw people off what's really gonna happen. And even before watching the episode I've been having conflicting feelings about some of the couples. Hell, even watching the scene, as beautiful as it was, I still have conflicting feelings. It makes perfect sense why Big Red made the gesture he did in season 3. When he went to see Ashlyn during Frozen in between her scenes and told her he knew she was the only person for him. It was guilt for what he did. It was realization that something else was going on. It was him having his own inner conflict. That being said, the fact that it was between Big Red and Seb was so out of character for both of them. I understand the writer's strike, the stress of writing and deadlines and everything that comes with being a creative individual. Not denying that. But it still feels like a cop-out. Because cheating, whether it's an almost-kiss, an actual kiss, or more, is the easy way out for couples to break up or for something to happen. There couldn't have been something else? The way Ashlyn realized she was queer; the fireworks she felt just from hugging Val; having these questions and emotions but not acting on them.... It's doable. I don't understand how Big Red couldn't have had similar feelings without kissing Seb. Maybe it'd make more sense if we could have seen it play out for ourselves.... I don't know. It also makes me kinda mad because as much as I was on the fence about Redlyn when the series started, the chemistry between the actors and how their characters are together.... I don't know, maybe I'm just a sucker for quirky characters. Especially after Ashlyn's queer revelation, and the biconic "I'm Big Red, I'm Ashlyn's boyfriend, and I'm bi", I was so looking forward to seeing a second healthy queer couple other than Seblos. However, the way they did the Redlyn breakup scene - reasoning aside - was pretty damn good. Especially when Ashlyn came out to Big Red. There was so much relief and happiness there. And I can understand exactly how Ashlyn felt, not knowing for sure how Big Red would react to her. That relief of saying who you truly are and having someone unconditionally accept, support, and not question is one of the most incredible feelings. It was exactly how I felt when I came out, because I expected so many questions or for people to not understand. Most of all, it goes to show that people can have a romantic relationship and realize that they were better off as friends. That they can remain friends. The friendship that any relationship is based off of should always be the most important aspect. I'm not mad about the season heading towards Ashlyn and Maddox becoming girlfriends. I know what happens and I'm excited to see how it plays out between them in the last few episodes. It really was a beautiful breakup. As sad as I am to see the era of Redlyn end, even if they can't be #relationshipgoals, I'm glad they can at least be #bibesties.
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goldeneyedkim · 1 year
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The WIP List - Aged WIPs
Okay, so irl is kind of... high stress at the moment, so let's see if I can just bury myself in some writing.
In particular, I'm starting to get super itchy about fics that I haven't finished and keep intending to. Going to start this as a way to kind of keep myself accountable for actually making progress on these things.
On this list:
After the Light - the Stony MCU/Old Guard crossover that was originally a oneshot, I probably should have left a oneshot, and really probably only need one chapter left to finish--just have to decide what to do it with.
The Real Monsters - the Naruto/CM crossover that I originally thought was going to be 5 chapters, and now I'm hoping to just finish in four. My friends all laugh at me when I say I hate Plot and Plot is a four-letter word? This fic is everything I mean about "I hate plot." It has an 8-year-old Naruto and Sasuke, so there is no romance to play off here, it's just actual plot, and fuck me, I hate this so much. Why did I do this to myself? This is a plotfic, and I know the end, but it's how to get there I'm fucking stuck on, and this one has a lot of people who have been very patient. I just want it done.
Boundless - EraserMight soulmate fic I started for-fucking-ever ago. It follows canon very closely, so I just really need to sit down and speed-watch the relevant parts, and just finish the last chapter where they decide that, yes, they want a romantic relationship with one another.
Prepared to Sacrifice - Ugh... this one has one or two chapters left, maybe, and I'm already 2k into the next one, it's just a very particular type of headspace to write, and I'm having trouble figuring out how to finish it off. I was going to write a sequel but that's almost certainly not going to happen, so the final chapter might just be the opening chapter of the sequel I wrote. It would work as an open-ended epilogue. So just need to finish the damn thing.
A Dragon Among the Ashes - a DekuBaku slavefic that I started for a big bang a while ago and... realized in the middle of writing it that I don't actually like BakuDeku enough to make them the center feature of anything more than a short fic. Like, I do ship them in the lowkey, background way that I kind of feel like "this is basically a good as canon" for a lot of things, and I include them as a background ship a lot, but... Shouto has become my blorbo, and if it's not focused around him, ugh, it's a struggle. I really just need to finish the last damn chapter.
Fireworks and Warnings probably belongs on this list. I probably need to just figure out an end and write it. It's been on hiatus for like 3 years. *sigh*
Basis for Human Hope - Gundam Wing omegaverse fic with 13x2 (yes, you read that right) and endgame 5x2. I need to see if I can remember how to write short stuff and see if I can crunch this one down. I'm, uh, just noticing how many hits that fic has (relative to most GW fic lately), and... yeah, should work on that next chapter.
On the Things Not Posted But I Really Should Work On:
Sequel to my EdRoy darkfic - dealing with the fallout of Ed being mated against his will, for public spectacle no less, and also being knocked up. If I could knock this out in 20k, I'd be delighted. I... uh, have no such faith it's going to be under 30k.
Sequel to my consensual bitching DekuTodo fic - This one has actually been started. I'm, like, over 2k into it (might be more), but uh, kind of missing the endgame here. Probably should just be Shouto having the baby (babies? I honestly don't remember what I was planning), so this should be relatively (I know, I know, don't laugh) short.
Firsts series - This is the high on the list to immediately finish. I started this idea way back when writing Stand Without Flinching. Since finishing the Stars That Have People Names mainfics, this is literally the last piece of the series I plan on writing, and I have had the worst time making myself work on it. I finally kicked my ass into gear last night, and got about 3.5k written on it, and two more of the 5 "firsts" written. That makes 3/6 done, three more to go, and 2 are smutty (which are usually easy, I just really was not in a mood to write smut last night). I really, really want to put this series to bed and mark it complete, so I think this is going to be the next one on the list.
All right--and of WIPs that are not on this list:
Surviving the Fire - weekly updates on this one, and I tend to be very good at keeping to a strict schedule. Next chapter of this hits today. Not a concern.
If You Have Been Brutally Broken - on a schedule, every other Wednesday, I also have at least a couple more chapters pre-written, so hopefully by the time I'm live writing this one, I'm done with Surviving. I love this fic, and I'm excited to force myself to finish it.
A Bun in a Hidden Oven - I basically have it finished. I can add another chapter; we'll see if I bother. No concern here.
When You're Married and No One Told You - this has always been open-ended, and I'll add to it if/when I get the inspo.
To Be Alpha - this is the BakuTodo alpha quirk fic. I have no damn idea where I'm going with it. I'd like to move it up to the WIP list but it's been sitting where it is for years b/c I'm stuck and I disclaimed that when I posted it.
Beware of Alphas - NaruSasu omegaverse. I love the idea of this world (where alphas are locked out of society), but mostly going to see if I find fun prompts to keep it going. Low pressure, as inpso hits.
Okay, now that I've wasted time typing all that up--let's go write. Surviving is due today, so it gets first priority. We'll see what else I get done after that.
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nanimoshitakunai · 1 year
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Tired of romance but still wants some? Try this one for a change...
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So, yeah...let me explain my title ahahaha
For like I even lost count on how many years it's been already, I lost complete interest in romance genre...movies, tv shows, anime, manga, music, whatever, and I've been running away from romance ever since bc I'm like ''jeez please do something new, why is it always the same story over and over again it's so tiring, exhausting, and boring for havens sake's change!!!'' and well, I kinda got that change with this anime. Koori Zokusei Danshi to Cool na Douryou Josei or The Ice Guy and His Cool Female Colleague is an anime and work about a descendant of a Yuki-Onna (aka a Snow Woman) called Himuro who has cold powers and works at a company (no idea what they do there), and has a female colleague called Fuyutsuki who is just a normal human. The thing is, this series show two types of coldness that are just in the appearances: the 1st one's Himuro's powers - whenever he has strong emotions and feelings he snows or freezes, either himself or his surroundings; the 2nd is Fuyutsuki's personality - since she was young people called her cool and/or cold because of the way she acts, speak, and the vibe she gives off. But that's all in the appearances as I said before bc these two are basically the warmest people ever! Himuro's cute, sweet, serious but considerate, and a nice person. Same goes to Fuyutsuki but she's also very caring and lovely (she's very loved by her coworkers too)! And well, this is a romance story as well so...Himuro meets Fuyutsuki and falls in love for who she is and, it takes a little but she also falls for him BUT they're both adults who never had romantic experiences in their lives before so they're also discovering how to act around each other and discovering their love! The other 4 people on this poster are 2 other couple, Komori a Yoko (Fox Spirit) descendant and Saejima a normal human, and Katori a Phoenix descendant and Otonashi a normal human. Komori has ears and a tale like a fox and also loves tofu - she likes Saejima and he likes her back. Katori has small wings, has a power to make small fireworks wherever he is and a "resurrection power" that it is not literal haha - he likes Otonashi and even though she may not admit it, she likes him back. The story is mainly about Himuro and Fuyutsuki but it's also nice to see the other 2 couples work their love and also witness Himuro and Fuyutsuki's love, even trying to help them whenever they can.
There's only one season that debuted this year with just 12 episodes but it is SO DAMN NICE for someone who wants something else than just normal romance and it is a SO DAMN CUTE ANIME!!!!! When watching it I was always like "damn just be together" but also "DAMN THEY'RE SO CUTE AND THEY'RE LEARNING AND THE RESPECT!!!!! AND THE REACTIONS AND CUTENESS I'MMA DIE" AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA I really think this is kind of a different romance anime, if I'm wrong I'm sorry but it's the only romance I did watch in I don't even know how many years now and loved it from the bottom of my heart. If you'd like, give it a chance and hope you like it!
Thanks for reading and watch this cuteness if possible :3
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artificii-in-ceata · 10 months
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Fireworks in the Fog dashboard simulator part 6
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🥀 ladylazarus1991 Follow
Dec 22, 2014
He just told me he's definitely coming to the Christmas dinner. Turns out my weird girl vibe is very charming after all
⌛️ the-belle-jar Follow
Dec 22, 2014
Either you're Extremely lucky, or he's a little freak, too
❤️ mymathematicalromance Follow
Dec 22, 2014
He will fit right in <3
#Ben posting #tumblr girlies
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🥀 ladylazarus1991 Follow
Dec 26, 2014
OK I have so much to unpack here!!!
He got me some chocolate and a mug with a quote by Mark Twain, "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics", which I loved so so much!! And I got him a jacket pin and he loved that. I was wearing a red sweater and he was wearing a green one so we were very festive.
He helped me do the dishes afterwards!!! He made quite the good impression on my siblings.
While we were in the kitchen we had a real heart to heart and he told me (I will never forget this ever) that my words really touched him and warmed his heart.
And as we were having this extremely romantic moment, my brother ruined everything cause he got drunk and I got into a fight with him and my sister was upset at me, too, even though all I did was react and it was a whole mess. Poor Ben witnessed the whole thing and was filled with secondhand embarrassment.
By midnight things calmed down but Ben was visibly uncomfortable. As I walked with him outside where he parked his motorcycle, I just burst into sobs due to how mad I was at this whole situation. I really didn't want to cry in front of him, but I couldn't stop myself at all...
Only later did I realise that Ben literally offered me his jacket because i went out in the cold without my coat, but at the moment I just told him I don't want to be pitied. Aghsjsydtstsystsjfjgf I literally missed my chance at having a romantic moment like in the movies!!!!!! He did try to comfort me, though, which was so sweet.
6 notes
Earlier today I invited him to celebrate the New Year with me and he gladly accepted my invitation. I think it's really a date this time. I'm so excited but so overwhelmed right now...
#personal #ben posting
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🥀 ladylazarus1991 Follow
Jan 1, 2015
Happy new year, everybody!!!!!!
#Happy new year #new year 2015
45 notes
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🥀 ladylazarus1991 Follow
Jan 1, 2015
The date with Ben was absolutely magical!!! We strolled around the city all night. So many beautiful, colourful lights.
We brought some firework candles to light at midnight. We climbed uphill for this purpose and the whole city was visible! He was holding my hand tightly and he thanked me for inviting him as he gazed into my eyes lovingly.
After the fireworks show ended, we slowly went downhill and explored the quiet streets of downtown. Finally, we climbed on the roof of my apartment building and had quite the heart to heart conversation again. I almost fell asleep on his shoulder but I woke up and went home, my brother waiting for me. My brother drunkenly blurted out that I went out with my "boyfriend", and I went along with it. This is awkward I hope I didn't overstep any bounds by calling Ben my boyfriend before we made things official.
#personal #ben posting
10 notes
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🥀 ladylazarus1991 Follow
Jan 11, 2015
I was worried for nothing haha. Ben texted me today and said that he'd like me to be his girlfriend but he felt like he'd overstep his bounds if he said so. I confessed that I've been in love with him for a while. I was so anxious for the answer to this message, specifically. He replied that I've given him the best news I could've given him, and he asked me out, as he put it, for a third date.
I'm at a loss for words I'm screaming into my pillow asfgjvhdtastsitzohxiciy
#Ben posting #I am so in love
8 notes
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🥰 justgirlythings Follow
Jan 1, 2015
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🥀 ladylazarus1991 Follow
Jan 14, 2015
I'm so down bad I'm reblogging justgirlythings lmao??? We didn't even kiss on the new year's date but I think we weren't too far from it, either
#justgirlythings #Ben posting
5K notes
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🥀 ladylazarus1991 Follow
Jan 23, 2015
Had a great date today, and at the end he even invited me for valentine's
Asfjgyd I still can't believe we're finally together
⌛️ the-belle-jar Follow
Jan 23, 2015
You've literally been together for months, you two just realised it way later
❤️ mymathematicalromance Follow
Jan 23, 2015
I feel soooo vindicated right now
🐺 werewolf-heathcliff Follow
Jan 23, 2015
I literally told you guys he's the one, I could just feel it in my bones, call that the 6th sense
12 notes
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eberles · 3 years
Text
24 Hour Diner
Nolan Patrick
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request: for nolan patrick: u can pick a late night diner date or a brunch diner date in a mostly empty diner where u guys are just super cute and in love.
a/n: i lovedddd this request so much, i hope i did it justice for you! let me know what you think🥰 join my taglist!
warnings: tooth rotting fluff, mentions of pancakes/eating just in case that bothers anyone
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“Baby, shut up.” If Nolan hated anything, it was being woken up, especially at a time like this. Everyone knew he was rather grumpy, but he most definitely grumpy during the very late hours of the night when all he wanted to do was rest. He huffed, turning over to face you, barely able to make out your face in the dark room. The only light coming from the moon illuminating through his window. “What do you want?”
You grinned to yourself, happy that you succeeded in waking Nolan up. It just wasn’t fair for him to be sleeping soundly beside you, his light snoring being the only audible noise you could focus on. Usually you slept great in his bed, sleepovers were a regular thing so you got used to it quickly. In fact, you almost always slept better with him in his bed, than without him in yours. “I can’t sleep.”
Nolan rolled his eyes, letting out a deep sigh before swinging his legs off the side of the bed and standing up. He turned the light on the dimmest setting and grabbed a pair of sweats and a hoodie, quickly changing into both as you watched him curiously. Just as you were about to ask what the hell he was doing, Nolan threw a pair of your leggings in your face.
“What are we doing?” you laughed, getting out of bed and sliding the leggings up your legs, swapping your oversized t-shirt with one of Nolan’s flyers hoodies.
“You said you couldn’t sleep right?” Nolan grabbed his keys as you nodded, confused at his words. “Well then we’re going out.” Grinning, you wrapped your arms around his waist, standing on your tippy toes to kiss him.
He loved you. Like really loved you. It was common knowledge that Nolan wasn’t the most affectionate or romantic but when it came to you, he’d do anything to put a smile on your face. He was the epitome of hard exterior unless it involved you, and he became the softest man you’d ever met. His soft spot for you was well known around the team and you friends and he often got teased for it, but he never cared or stopped treating you differently because of it.
About 15 minutes later you wound up at a 24 hour diner in Philly. Butterflies erupted in your stomach as you thought back to one of your first dates with Nolan. He brought you here after one of his late games insisting it was a ‘must visit’ restaurant. You were unsure at first but it ended up being the best date you’d ever been on and that’s the first time you knew you loved him.
Walking in the diner you darted for the back booth, the one in the corner, sitting across from each other, like always. The diner was completely empty at this time, the only other people around were the waitress and the cook and you wouldn’t have it any other way. “Pancakes?”
“Ugh yes.” your eyes lit up, not realizing how hungry you were until your stomach growled at the mention of food. Nolan smiled, taking your hands from across the table, rubbing the pad of his thumb over your fingers delicately. The action sends a thrill up your spine, filling your chest with a warm feeling. “You’re being awfully nice for someone who was woken up at 3 in the morning.”
“You looked extra cute tonight.” Nolan's cheeks flared a bright red, even rosier than usual, laughing under his breath at your words. He let go of your hands when the waitress appeared with your pancakes, she put the plates on the table and smiled politely before walking away, leaving you alone again. Nolan reached over pouring syrup on your pancakes for you before doing the same on his plate.
“Don’t I always?”
“Yea, but when you rudely woke me up I remembered how good you looked in my shirt.” you smirked, raising your eyebrows as you felt your cheeks get hot when he continued. “I couldn't resist giving you what you wanted.”
You didn’t say anything, instead dropping your fork and leaning over the table, kissing him with as much passion as you could muster. Pancakes long forgotten as Nolan's hands gently came to the sides of your face as he lightly swiped his tongue across your bottom lip. You broke the kiss, smiling widely at him, unable to control the fireworks going off in your brain and the heat filling your stomach. “And on that note, we should go back home.”
“Home?” Nolan smirked, an amused look in his eyes as he watched you freeze and try to backtrack.
“Um, I just meant-”
“No, no, don’t do that.” Nolan cut you off even though he loved seeing you flustered. This time he couldn’t hold himself back, visibly excited at what you were insinuating. “It could be our home.”
“What?” your eyes nearly bulged out of your head, unsure if you heard him correctly. You’ve definitely thought about it, of course you’ve thought about it. After nearly 2 years together, the idea of living together often crossed your mind. And damn, you loved him, living together would be a dream for both of you.
“My home is already wherever you are, but we should make it official don’t you think?” Nolan said smoothly, not an ounce of hesitance or nervousness on his voice. The butterflies were back and you couldn’t control the toothy smile, running ear to ear across your face.
“You really want to?” you asked giddy, your legs bouncing under the table. The excitement overcame you, as you forced yourself to hold back from lunging over the table at him. “Because I really want that.”
“I really do.” Nolan stood up from the table, leaving way too much money for the bill. He grabbed your hand pulling you out towards the car, backing you against it.
“It’s about damn time.” His hands landed on your hips as he dipped his head down and planted a kiss on your lips. The smiles you were both carrying making kissing almost impossible, but neither of you cared as you soaked up this moment.
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taglist: @butgilinsky @taiter-tots @ana-maa @iamtheblondestblonde @elitebarzal @joelsfarabees @lovenhlboys @tortito @samsteel @joelsfarabees @sidscrosbyy @boqvistsbabe @bowenbyram @imagines-r-s @softboybarzal @beauvibaby @chicagoblackhawkslover96 @ebonyyyy-e @heatherawoowoo @honeybearbarzal @besthockeyfics @fallinallincurls @stars-canucks @kaitieskidmore1 @bitchforbarzy @fiveholegoal @radiantroope @teenagekook @lovethepreds @no-pucks-given @mac-blackwood @twinklelilstarkey @2manytabsopen @whitesummerx @latinahockeylady @svechnikolan @ilvd2 @barzysandmarnersbitch @eniotnak01 @bookoftenderthoughts @dumb-blonde-trash @himbos-on-ice
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peachbear88 · 3 years
Text
If I Could Tell Her
A/N: Wow! Another song-inspired one-shot. "If I Could Tell Her" - Ben Platt. Also, this is a high-school AU.
Word count: 2,411
Wanda x Reader
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"Yo, Y/N! Heads up!"
Your head whips around and you duck, moments before the football hits your face. Steve jogs towards you, scooping up the ball. "What happened? You get distracted by something you like?" He gestures to the rafters where at least a dozen girls sit, watching you with beady-eyes. "Who's that over there?" You ask, pointing to a girl sitting under the large willow tree. The sunlight seeped through the branches of the tree, hitting her auburn hair perfectly. She looks up and the two of you make eye contact. You turn away, blushing. "The girl under the tree?" You nod, unable to form coherent words. "That's Wanda Maximoff." Your eyes widen as you turn to gape at Steve. "As in...?" He nods sadly. "Yep. She hasn't been the same since Pietro died." Pietro Maximoff, former captain of your football team. Former, since he died in a horrific car accident. You didn't know he had a sister. Steve pats you on the back before running back onto the field and you prepare yourself for the ball, all while your mind is whirring from the person that is Wanda Maximoff.
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You spend the next few weeks observing her and her habits. With the big game coming up soon, you’re soon overwhelmed with practice but you still make time to watch over her. She enjoys eating lunch under the willow tree instead of the cafeteria, she shares at least 3 other classes with you and she spends her break periods in the library. You're watching her one day as she picks out a book and a hand taps you on the shoulder. "Jesus!" You jump, only to find Tony standing behind you. "Taken a liking to little Miss Maximoff eh?" He chuckles as you slap the back of his head. "Don't worry, I won't tell." He winks before slipping out of the library, leaving you to your own devices.
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"Alright class, we're switching up our partners!" You and about half the class groan as Steve grabs his bag, waving goodbye at you. You look at the seating chart he left behind scanning it until your eyes land on your name. You do a double take as you read the name beside yours. Wanda Maximoff. Your heart is pounding when she slips into Steve's old seat. You slap a perfect grin on your face before turning to her. "Hi." She ignores you, continuing to unpack her bag. You frown a little before resuming your efforts to start a conversation. "It's not very polite to ignore people." You tease cheekily, earning you a glare. "I know who you are. Piet would ditch me just to talk to you." Your smile falters. "I'm sorry about Pietro." She scoffs. "That's what everyone says. You didn't do anything. It's not your fault he's lying six-feet under." Your fingers rap against the wood of your desk as your teacher drones on about the Pythagorean theorem, wracking your brain for a way to appease her. “He talked about you a lot." You whisper and you see Wanda's prickly attitude dissipate. "He did?" You nod enthusiastically. It's a white lie. No harm no foul. From that moment onward, she seemed a lot less cold and even invited you to her house on Friday.
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Friday rolls around and the butterflies in your stomach have formed a mosh pit. Steve and Tony spend the day teasing you relentlessly as you fidget, your mind kicking into overdrive. Wanda meets you after school and you hitch a ride to her house. "This is it." She gestures to a small suburban house before pushing the door open. The smell of cinnamon and tea leaves hits your nose as you enter. "Mom, I'm going upstairs with Y/N!" She calls out before racing up the stairs. You pause for a moment as Mrs. Maximoff beckons to you, wiping her hands on her apron. You approach her and she gives you a soft smile. "I've never seen my daughter so happy. Whatever you said, thank you." You smile. reassuring her that it was nothing before hiking up the winding stairwell. By the time you reach the top of the stairs, Wanda has already gotten comfy on her bed, clicking through different movies. "Hey. What took you so long?" She teases, patting the empty spot next to her on the bed. "You have a lot of stairs." You reply defensively, plopping down next to her. She stares at you in disbelief. "You're on the football team and you struggle with stairs?" You glare at her. "I have a fear of them okay?" She looks at you, her lips pursed before bursting into laughter. "You- Fear of stairs? Wait 'till Rogers gets ahold of that." She gets out in between giggles. You gently slap her arm but you can't help but join her in laughing. She wipes the tears of joy from her eyes. "Thank you. I haven't laughed like that in a long time." You smile at her, slipping your arm through hers and resting it on her waist. She stiffens and for a moment, you think you went to far but she covers your hand with hers and leans against you. "What do you think of this show?" She asks, turning to see your response. You shrug indifferently as she starts the show but inside, fireworks explode and you do a little celebratory fist-pump in your mind.
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The next few weeks are a bliss, save for the terrifying shadow of the upcoming game. Wanda's presence alleviates the terror and of course, Steve and Tony constantly tease the two of you as she eventually starts hanging out with you more during school hours. The day of the game comes crashing down. Throughout the day, you're palms are sweating and despite all the smiles and reassuring hand squeezes you receive from Wanda, you're still sweating buckets.
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"Are you ready?"
You're clutching the guitar so tightly that you're sure it will snap.
"Yeah, I got this." You manage to say as Steve gives you a small hug.
"Good because the cheer team is done and they're calling you up." He whispers before shoving you into the school's football field. You stumble, glaring at him before jogging towards the principal who agreed to your surprise performance. Your eyes scan the crowds of people until they land on Wanda, who's cheering like crazy, little blue and green stripes painting her face. You smile in spite of yourself before talking to microphone from the principal. "Hi everybody. I uh... Before the game starts I just wanted to do a little gesture for somebody. A special somebody." You stutter, beads of sweat trickling down your forehead as hundreds of eyes stare at you expectantly. You take a deep breath before strumming the guitar gently.
"He said,"
"There's nothing like your smile, sort of subtle and perfect, and real."
"He said,"
"You never knew how wonderful that smile could make someone feel."
"And he knew,"
"Whenever you get bored you scribble stars on the cuffs of your jeans."
"And he noticed,"
"That you still fill out the quizzes that they put in those teen magazines."
"But he kept it all, inside his head."
"What he saw,"
"He left unsaid."
"And though he wanted to,"
"He couldn't talk to you."
"He couldn't find the way."
"But he would always say,"
"If I could tell her,"
"Tell her everything I see,"
"If I could tell her,"
"How she's everything to me."
"But we're a million worlds apart."
"I don't know how I would even start."
"If I could tell her."
"If I could tell her."
"He thought,"
"You looked really pretty, er uh..."
"It looked pretty cool when you put red streaks in your hair."
"And he wondered how you learned to dance like all the rest of the world isn't there."
"But he kept it all inside his head."
"What he saw, he left unsaid."
"If I could tell her,"
"Tell her everything I see."
"If I could tell her,"
"How she's everything to me."
"But we're a million worlds apart."
"I don't know how I would even start."
"If I could tell her."
"If I could tell her."
"But what do you do when there's this great divide?"
"And what do you do when the distance is too wide?"
"And how do you say,"
"I love you?"
"I love you."
"I love you!"
"I love you..."
"But we're a million worlds apart."
"I don't know how I would even start."
"If I could tell her."
"If I could..."
You strum a final chord, taking a deep breath before the crowd bursts into applause. You see Wanda, her hands covering her mouth and although she's too far away, you can almost make out the tears pricking her eyes. "Let's give it up for Y/N Y/L/N!" The principal roars before beckoning to the rest of the football team. "Now for the Westview Buffalos!" You fall in line with the football team, cramming the helmet onto your head and pretending not to see the confused glance Steve sends your way.
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Your team wins the game by a landslide and as you all hustle into the changing room, Steve and Tony pull you aside. Tony is the first to confront you on your romantic gesture. "Damn, that was smooth! You gotta teach me how to do that." Steve on the other hand has his eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he shoves Tony to the side. "I thought you said you didn't know Wanda was Pietro's sister before I told you?" You're about to answer when you see a familiar flash of auburn hair and you feel a cold blanket of dread wrap around you. "Shit." You mutter, shoving your two friends out of the way. "Wanda!" You sprint after her as she runs through the corridors of the school and into the parking lot. You manage to corner her at her car. She turns to face you, tears streaming down her face. "You liar!" She screams and you flinch. "You told me he talked about me! You told me he cared! You told me he..." Her voice falters before cracking. "You told me he noticed me." She whispers and your heart shatters. You step forward, attempting to hold her hand but she wrenches it away before gets into her car. "Don't ever, talk to me again." She snarls before speeding off into the night. You slowly fall to your knees. This was all your fault. You tried to repair her heart but instead, you smashed it apart, stepped on it and damaged it beyond repair.
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The next few days are spent with her avoiding you and you avoiding Steve and Tony. You continue to watch her from afar, making sure to not make yourself known. You're watching Wanda read under the willow tree when you feel a tap on your shoulder. It's Steve. He plops down next to you and before you can get up, Tony sits down on the other side of you, sandwiching you in between them. "Y/N..." Steve starts but you cut him off. "Steve, I already heard the whole spiel. I know what I did was wrong but I just wanted her to be happy." Steve slaps a hand over your mouth. "Let me finish. What you did was wrong but there's something you're missing." You raise your eyebrows as you gently lick his fingers causing him to swiftly remove them from your mouth. "Oh ew! Don't do that!" He shrieks causing you and Tony to laugh. "Then don't put your hand over my mouth." He rolls his eyes. "Anyways, she was genuinely happy when she was with you. She really loved you." Steve says, casting a sad glance at Wanda who was completely oblivious to the trio. "You have to make it up to her." Tony remarks wisely, giving you a gentle pat on the back before he and Steve leave.
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You spend the rest of the day walking around in a daze, a plan formulating in your head.
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A pebble hits Wanda's window causing her to stir in her sleep. Another one hits the window and she groans in annoyance. At least 3 more pebbles hit the glass before she gets up, ready to give the culprit a piece of her mind. "Alright, I've had it!" She exclaims as she pries her eyes open but her rant slowly dies away in her throat. There you are, standing on her front lawn, a small pile of pebbles next to you. "Oh good. I thought I was going to have to use all of these." She snorts and goes to close the window but your desperate cry stops her. "Wait! Please let me explain." When she doesn't close the window, you out a breath you didn't know you were holding. "What I did was wrong." She scoffs but doesn't say anything. "I wanted to ease the pain but I just ended up hurting you more. That song, he may not have noticed all those things but I did." Her harsh glare softens a little and in that moment, you allow yourself a little hope. "You may be hurt right now but I want to be the one that gets to love you, the one that gets to care for you, the one that provides a safe haven for you. The one that you can let inside your walls. I hurt you and I know it will take some time for you to recover but I will wait for as long as you need." You pause, gauging her reaction before continuing. "Will you please, give me a chance?" The small ball of hope growing inside you is instantly crushed when she closes the window. You sigh before trudging back to your car but you stop in your tracks when you hear a familiar voice. "Y/N!" You whip around to see Wanda running straight at you, a blazing look on her face. Your first thought is that she's going to tackle you and beat you up but instead, she launches herself at you and wraps you in a tight embrace. You melt a little as you wrap your arms around her. "I'm willing to give you another chance." She whispers and the butterflies inside you explode with joy. You pull away from her to stare into her deep emerald eyes. "Thank you." You mutter before leaning forward and meeting her halfway in a gentle kiss under the stars.
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WOAHHHH!!! DAMN!!!!! Another one-shot! I really, really like writing one-shots now... Maybe I'll do some more highschool AUs. I'm personally, pretty proud of this one.
Taglist: @username23345 @musicinourlips @gingerbreadcookieforlife
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fweasleyswhore · 4 years
Note
Ok this might be a little long so I’m sorry but finals got me feeling some sort of way. So could you do a fic where it’s finals week and the fem!reader is stressed about what of her NEWTS that Oliver doesn’t have and it’s really late in the library, so late that the librarian isn’t even there because the reader had a key to lock up. And Oliver knows the reader has a tendency to lose track of time and work herself to the bone without really noticing. So he stops by the library to pick her up and basically has to carry her out of the library. And he takes her to his dorm instead because he knows everyone else is sneaking out to party and hogsmeade because they’ve finished whatever newts they had and he knows if he took the reader to her dorm she would keep working. And he’s like “you need some stress relief” and he’s touching her leg but she’s so tired and he’s like “you just lay there and let me do all the work” and it’s just a soft romantic smut and he keeps going until she’s exhausted (like she finishes a couple times ~3) I’m so sorry this is so long I just needed to get this out of my mind
a/n: fucking yes, and as someone who is in finals week i just, need that rn, like oliver to fuck me so good and sleep away the stress just, yes so here you go darling! sorry it took me a hot min to get to
general tags: @fredshmeasley @pandaxnienke
oliver tags: @peachyy-em @losers-club6
word count: 2.7k 
warnings: smut, 18+ themes, soft romantic smut, fingering/oral fem recieving, unprotected sex
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My eyes hurt but I continued scanning my advanced potion book. My N.E.W.T. was next week and I was one of five students who decided to take this class. I was intrigued by potions, having been all my life, so being able to take the highest level class Hogwarts offered I jumped. Of course, I was not very fond of Snape, or how he treated his students but the subject matter was enough to get me through. I felt the weight of the library key in my pocket as I stood up to put some of my books back. Although my stack was getting smaller it wasn’t yet completely finished.
Adjusting the candle my eyes stung as the light flickered. Despite the pain, I set the candle down opening the chapter Chizpurfle Carapace trying to memorize its effects and uses.
“Thought I would find you here.” The voice made me jump causing the candle to turn over and spill wax all over the table. My shock faded and I was filled with anger, swiveling in my chair prepared to hex whoever caused it. My eyes softened when I saw him.
His tongue in his cheek and a worried expression cast over his face as he examined the area. Silently I watched him pull out his wand, casting a spell under his breath his eyes didn’t meet mine.
“Ollie what are you doing here?” I asked. He shifted on his feet, finally pulling his eyes up to mine.
“Looking for my beautiful girl of course.” His words were accompanied by a cheeky grin, confidence rolling off of him in waves. I felt my face heat up but I pushed my feelings aside turning back to my book.
“I need to study,” I said quietly trying to hide my face under the pages of my book.
“No. You need to rest.” He moved in front of me. Successfully capturing my book is his hands and closing it. Deciding against fighting him, knowing of his iron grip I looked up at him. He looked ethereal in the low candle light, towering over me. A soft smile spread across my face just admiring his features.
“I’m not on the Quidditch team you can’t order me around you know.”
“I damn will try.” His words came out with a half hearted laugh.
“Seriously I need to study, can I-” Right when I reached for the book he pulled it out of my reach, a glint in his eye I couldn’t quite read.
“You can try to fight me for your book back, a fight you will lose. Try to study with another book of which I will take from you and bring you back to option one, or you can come out of this dingy library with me and take a break.”
“But I don’t need a break-”
“Yes. You. Do. Now, up.” He held out his free hand for me to take. Sighing I grabbed it, like a truck I felt the days and tireless hours of study finally catch up to me. I faltered slightly as I stood feeling my body try and weigh myself down like a bag of bricks. “Easy now, I got you.”
I felt his arm slip around my waist, offering more support and I leaned into it. Putting the book down on the desk I was as he grabbed his wand, sending the books back into their proper places.
“Thank you Ollie.” He hummed pressing a light kiss to my temple and led me out of the library. I didn’t pay much attention to walking as he led me away, pushing my face into his chest. I breathed in his familiar and distinct scent. Cinnamon Gum, hints of leather and oak. It made me smile and my stomach flip, the only thing convincing me that it wasn’t a dream being I felt his ever present arms around me.
“Key?” He asked, closing the doors with the arm not around me.
“Pocket, here.” I shoved my hands into my pocket, rummaging around for a second before depositing it in his palm. Our fingers touched and the skin on skin contact made fireworks erupt in my body, the feeling of his hand became more present on my waist as I let my mind wander to the other things his hands can do.
“Cmon, why are you standing there like a statue. Let’s go.” His words snapped me out of my daze and I forced my legs to walk, hiding my face in his shoulder as we walked, trying to diminish the thoughts of him in more precarious ways.
My eyes were half closed as we walked back through the portrait hole, trusting Oliver to dispose of me back in my dorm. Finally I fell back against a bed, letting my body relax into it and blinking around trying to see where we are.
“Is this your dorm?” I asked as he pulled off my boot.
“Yeah, I don’t trust you to not go right back to your books when I leave you alone, also I never minded some company.” Pulling off the other boot, he discarded it on his floor and sat beside me. Pushing some stray hairs away from my face. “Can I help?”
I smiled weakly, leaning into his touch. “No, I’m just really stressed. It will be better after the exams pass.” He hummed. I watched his eyes wander to different points in his room, never staying in one place too long. A cheeky smirk found his face and he stopped his searching looking down at me.
“I have an idea.”
“What’s that?” I leaned up, a shiver of excitement tore through me, waking me slightly.
“Let me help you calm down darling.” His hands stopped playing with my hair, they trailed down to my neck, then my chest and finally my thigh. Where he let his hands trail lightly on the skin, moving in small meaningless patterns leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake.
“Ollie, I’m tired.” I reminded, catching his drift. The idea did sound wonderful, I just wasn’t interested in foreplay and giving tonight. The idea felt unfair.
“Let me do all the work, can you let me do that for you darling?” He began grabbing my thigh more roughly, the feeling sent shivers down my spine and my stomach flipped in anticipation. He continued, cocking his eyebrow at me.
“Please.” I gave in, the feeling of arousal winning the fight against my tired state. “I need you.”
“That's what I like to hear.” He laughed before leaning down and catching my lips in a kiss. It was slow but it was enough with his added touch to quicken my heart rate. He brought his hand up my thigh, stroking it softly until he got to my underwear, which most definitely soaked at the point. Running his finger up and down my clothed sex he chuckled lightly, pulling away. My lips tried to follow but he got too far, opening my eyes I caught onto his cocky grin.
“Tired are we?” He teased. I let out a short hiff of annoyance preparing to push back but before I could he had pushed my panties aside, thumbing my clit gently. Letting out a soft moan I relaxed pushing my head into his thigh. Everything drained from my mind at the feeling, my body went limp, twitching at the slightest touch.
“Feel good sweetheart?” I nodded in response unable to conjure up words at the given moment. His fingers sped up at my response, working quickly with my slick to make me see stars.
“So good.” I breathed out. My eyes fluttered open to see him smiling at me, the shit eating grin told me my reactions were feeding his ego but the feeling spreading through my body was enough to distract me from caring. He began to thumb with a little more pressure. I felt my hips buck into his touch on their own accord, meeting his every move with ferocity. His other hand came up to stroke my hair, running through it gently and scratching my scalp with his fingers. The feeling felt amazing paired with his work below.
“Come on baby,” He coaxed, picking up his pace below. “Cum darling, let go.” I nodded, screwing my eyes shut and shoving my face into his thigh I let out a languid moan as he worked me through my orgasm, never stopping the rhythm of his hand. I bucked into his touch until it became too much and my hips fell against the bed, he understood, slowing his hand down and going back to stroking my thigh.  
“Thank you.” I whispered, a lazy smile found its way to my mouth, batting my eyes up at him.
“I hope you don’t think I'm done with you yet.” he laughed.
“What do you mean?”
“What is the use of… Fluxweed?”
“It has healing properties but can be used in the Polyjuice potion if your sample is picked on the full moon.” I recounted my knowledge on the subject, my books flooding into my mind. “But what does this have to do with anything right now?”
“I don’t want you to be thinking about that right now, I want you to relax.”
“What did you expect? You asked.” A small giggle escaped my lips before I could stop it. Wishing I did when he glared at me.
“I mean,” He said with an eye roll. “When I am done with you I don’t want you to remember what a potion is.” I gulped at his words, his intentions sending a shiver down my spine, feeling myself growing wetter.
“Then I suggest you get to work.” I challenged. He smirked and changed his position on the bed. Hovering over my I finally got a good look at his face.
“You know I suggest you stop back talking if you want me to do this.” I smiled, leaning up I pecked his cheeks which soon took a rosy glow. “I’ll take that as an apology.” I giggled again as he started crawling down my body, peppering kisses to my abdomen that still tickled even through my clothes.
He settled himself between my thighs, pushing up my skirt, he pressed a few kisses to my hips in doing so. He was gentle as if too much pressure would cause me to shatter.
Hooking his fingers into my panties he pulled them down, I helped him by killing them off.
“So pretty,” Pressing another kiss to my folds I giggled at the contact. “My pretty baby.” He lapped a stripe up my folds, making me moan out and buck into his mouth. His hands were on my thighs, rubbing up and down and holding me in place to stop me from doing that again. He soon attached his tongue to my clit, lapping it and sucking gently every so often. The feeling was indescribable, his mouth was skilled and it made my brain foggy. I felt my orgasm quickly build, the pit in my stomach growing with every second of his teasing.
“Just like that,” I breathed out. My hands travelled up under my shirt, squeezing my breasts with instinct. The added feeling added to the fever growing in my stomach. I picked up my head, I tried to meet his eyes. They were staring intently into mine, pupils dark, almost swallowing his iris, a physical indication of his lust. When our eyes met his pace quickened, his lips surrounded my clit, sucking on it while lapping on it with his tongue. “Ollie!” I screamed his name as I came for the second time, arching my back and screwing my eyes shut in the process. He hummed against my clit, working me through my orgasm. His grip on my thighs tightened as they spasmed and tried to close around him.
Pulling back he rested his head on my thigh, placing chaste pecks to my skin. “You did great baby, can you do another one?”
My eyes widened in shock that he wanted to continue but my core ached for more. “Please?” I asked.
“How about another one on my fingers and then you can have my cock?” He purred.
I nodded feverishly. Excitement growing in my stomach, fueling my arousal.
“Spread your legs baby.” He ordered pushing on my thighs. I pulled them up and to the side of my torso. “So pretty, spread out and wet for me.”
“Only for you.” I whispered back.
“That’s what I like to hear.” He plunged a finger into my dripping heat. I clenched around him from the sudden intrusion, moaning as he curved his finger to hit deep inside me just right.
“You like that?” He sped up his finger as he asked, moving it in and against my walls.
“Yes m-more please.” He chuckled darkly, adding another finger and thrusting them to hit the spot inside of me. I moaned at the contact, he made the connection and began thrusting against the spot with more fever. Intermittently scissoring them to open me up.
I felt my muscles twitch as his speed picked up, my stomach twisted with pleasure. He wrapped his lips around my clit and began sucking while continuing his ministrations below.
“Ollie, ‘m gonna cum.” I breathed out, my hips bucked into his touch. Throwing my head back I came hard onto his fingers, my release making obscene noises against his thrusts.
“So good princess.” He cooed. Pulling his fingers out he picked himself up, situated himself between my thighs. He picked up my shaky legs, wrapping them around his hips. I watched him through heavy eyes, he released his cock from his trousers, pulling it free I noted the precum leaking from his pink tip. The sight making me want to drool.
“You want to keep going baby? We can stop if you want to.” He ran his hands up and down my quivering thighs.
“Want you, inside me.” I whimpered, my brain was cloudy and I felt tired but not completely satisfied and I needed more.
With that he pushed completely inside of me in one thrust. He paused, his hips flush with mine, his pelvis rocked against my clit causing me to clench around his length eliciting a groan from him. “Move.” He did as I asked and began to thrust into me at a slow and sensual pace. He brought his head down attaching his lips to mine, one holding himself up the other gripping my hip as he steadily pumped into me. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Seemingly understanding my message he dropped to his forearm, his chest pressing against mine. The feeling was erotic, it made the romantic feeling multiply and his thrusts feel all the more deep I loved it truly.
He attached his mouth to my neck, leaving open mouthed kisses against it. I tangled my hands in his hair, pulling on it each time he hit the spot inside of me. “You're such a beautiful princess.” He whispered against the shell of my ear. I moaned in response, unable to talk back in my brain fog.
He thrusted into me again rocking his hips against me as he bottomed out, rubbing against my clit. The feeling made the coil snap within me. My walls clenched around him as I let out a languid moan. He grunted into my neck, continuing his pace until he stuttered, bottoming out and spilling his seed inside of me. He rocked slowly, fucking his cum inside of me before gingerly pulling out with hiss. I was shaking as he did so, letting out a whine and throwing my head back against his pillows.
I tried to slow my ragged breaths as he laid down next to me.
“Better now?” He asked, running a few fingers through my hair. I nodded breathlessly, swallowing hard. “What is the use of a Fairy Wing?” A faint smile on his mouth as he asked.
“Ollie you know honestly, right now, I don’t care.” I laughed. Eying him from the corner of my vision I couldn’t miss the cocky smile that broke out on his face. “Shut up.”
“I didn’t say anything!”
“You didn’t have to!”
“Ugh, come here.” He wrapped me in his strong arms, burying my face in his chest I breathed in his scent, his heartbeat was a constant drum that lulled me to sleep, feeling satisfied and safe in his arms.
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poguesrforlife · 4 years
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Young and Beautiful | Rudy Pankow
So after you lovely people were so kind to my previous fics and I gained a 1000 followers !!!! (still not believing it tbh) I wanted to give you a little something something. This idea has been in my head for a week now but it’s gonna be looooong so prepare yourself for a series! I love you all and thank you so much xoxo
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4
Trigger warning: A little bit smutty but just really intense passion!!
Word count: 1,226 words
Y/N just got the role of her lifetime, starring beside the cast of Outer Banks in the second season as JJ’s love interest. It’s a dream come true and gets even dreamier when she meets Rudy Pankow her alleged love interest. Lines start to blur between reality and film and Y/N is left wondering if taking a leap of faith is worth risking her career. 
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Your whole body felt like it was on fire and drowning in ice-cold water like-wise. You couldn’t remember the last time somebody made you feel like that. The thought that this wasn’t actually real was pressed to the very corners of your mind as you stared into Rudy’s eyes, his shirtless form hovering above you. God, he was gorgeous. When he looked at you like that and touched your bare skin with his slightly calloused warm hands, it was too easy to forget all the cameras and people around you. But all this was just in your head and you were playing your part just as he did. How you wished in that moment it would be true.
When you got the call that you got the role for JJ’s love interest in the second season of Outer Banks you were ecstatic. You had watched the first season in a couple of days and already fell in love in it and when your agent had mentioned that you might be considered for a part in the next season you couldn’t contain your joy. A couple weeks later you were on set and met the rest of the cast. They were all lovely and welcoming to you but you couldn’t help but feel like a bit of an outsider since they had already grown close to a real family in the first season. But you made the best of the situation and couldn’t be happier to be surrounded by all these amazing human beings. You shared an apartment with the Maddies in Charleston and you girls had the most of fun after shooting was over. The boys were just as lovely and sweet and you couldn’t believe how you got so lucky.
And then there was Rudy. Already during your chemistry read, the tension could be grasped all through the room. It was clear to all the casting directors that you would be a perfect fit. Rudy and you hadn’t spend a lot of time together outside of shooting except when the others were around too. You got along great though, a bit too great. 
Every time the two of you ended up alone you couldn’t help but feel nervous and your heart was beating three times as fast. You told yourself that it was just a crush, seeing that he was ridiculously handsome. You both were professionals after all. 
When you started filming romantic scenes however the feelings got worse, way more intense. You were sure he felt it just as much as you did. After every screamed ‘cut’ you couldn’t even look at each other because the tension was running too high.
You knew he was just playing JJ and you were playing Y/C/N but it all felt way too real when he stared deep into your eyes with his baby blues. 
You kept it friendly and platonic all through shooting but today would be yet another challenge. Today would be the first kiss scene that would quickly lead to a more intimate scene in the bedroom. You tried to not let it bother you too much but your nerves were running high nonetheless.
“Okay Y/N, Rudy! You just had an emotional fight, your feelings are simmering right underneath the surface, you’re screaming at each other and then…” Valerie Weiss made a dramatic pause, “JJ kisses Y/C/N passionately!” She grinned at the both of you.
You took a deep breath and gave Rudy a hesitant smile when the two of you got into position.
“You okay?” He inquired kindly and squeezed one of your hands softly.
“Yeah…” You sighed and smiled genuinely, “We’ll rock this, right?” 
“Oh absolutely,” He grinned and winked at you playfully. This didn’t really help the butterflies erupting in your stomach.
You nodded and waited for the ‘action’ and acted out your scene flawlessly.
“I’m just trying to understand, JJ! Why do you always push me away?” You screamed at Rudy, or JJ in this case, and tried to convey as much desperation as you could. 
“It is none of your business Y/C/N, that’s why. You can’t fix everybody, you know? Especially not me!” Rudy screamed right back at you, tears prickling at the corners of his eyes and you had to admire his acting skills.
“I don’t want to fix anything. When are you gonna get it into your thick stubborn head that I care about you?” You were moving close to him, hands fisted in his shirt as you tried to get him to look at you. One hand went up to his cheek, “JJ, look at me,” You whispered softly and could feel your own tears rolling down your cheeks.
Rudy’s eyes met yours, the colour of the ocean looking back at you with such intensity that your breath caught. It felt like time stood still as you stared into each others eyes, like you were the only two people in the universe. Damned be all the cameras around you and people on set. 
He nodded once, as if preparing himself for what came next. Faster than you could process his hands were on your cheeks and he pulled you close to him.
Lips crashed on lips and you could feel the sparks literally igniting between the two of you. Your mouths moved desperately, always trying to get closer and closer. Your hands wandered around his neck, into his hair and pulled slightly. His mouth opened and his tongue slipped out to caress your bottom lip to silently demand entrance which you granted. 
Kissing Rudy was like feeling fireworks in the place where your heart should be. He tasted of sweet lemonade and mint gum that the both of you had chewed before the scene, joking about it. But this, this was no joking matter anymore. This was a feeling you had longed for all your life and you couldn’t believe you had finally found it. Kissing Rudy was pure ecstasy.
“Guys! Guys, I said cut!” The director’s voice roped you back into reality and the two of you finally broke apart, catching your breath.
You were still entangled in each other, hands everywhere they should not be in this second, and breathed heavily as your foreheads rested against each other, eyes locked.
Rudy’s pupils were blown, darkening his usually so bright eyes into dark dangerous hues, and his cheeks were flushed a beautiful rosy red. You were certain you must’ve looked quite similar.
“Well, if that wasn’t a kiss!” You heard Chase celebrating from the side and the both of you finally broke apart. 
Too late you realised that you hadn’t even heard Valerie when she screamed ‘cut’ the first time. The embarrassment of the situation slowly crept up on you. But this time you didn’t look away from Rudy, quite the opposite. And he was staring right back at you, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. 
“That was sheer perfection! I think we actually already got it!” Jonas stated after a discussion on the scene.
You weren’t sure if you were happy about nailing it on the first try or sad because that meant no more kisses for now. All you knew was that you craved Rudy’s hands back on you and his lips locked to yours. By now you realised that you were entering dangerous waters.
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jostepherjoestar · 4 years
Text
An Educational Favour VII
ENDING! 
NOTsfw // FEM! reader & pronouns
warnings/notes: 18+ content, minors dni, risotto x reader alone finally, interc0urse, soft, romantic, intimate, face riding, scent kink? a little, squirting (kind of), ris is a service top don’t @ me, aftercare with ris, u can read into what risotto is trying to say/do readers 👀
part 1- 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7
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PART VII: 🖤Risotto🖤
It took some time to finally assess what you’d learned over the span of time since starting your educational adventure with your colleagues. After every session you had been left with your own thoughts, albeit in a haze, but it gave you time to relax and reflect. Illuso taught you to be confident and ask for what you want and shy Pesci made you put those communication skills to good use as you received one of the most intense orgasms you’d ever experienced. Damn that man has some great skills; it still makes you shudder to think back to your thighs clamped around his face, trembling in pleasure. Ghiaccio showed you how fun it could be to be hammered into the mattress while also desperately trying to make your capo feel good. Unlike Formaggio, who let the slow tempo take over and took his time to make you feel amazing. Then Melone who wasn’t afraid to get involved with Risotto as well, to let inhibitions go and indulge together. And your last, Prosciutto, showing you what it takes to handle being an obedient sub, which may or may not have gone just as rough as you had hoped. It had been very educational to say the least but it also made you realise how much you appreciated Risotto’s care. He’d been there the whole way through, getting his needs met in a different way, building up even more patience and strength. Maybe that’s what he’d taught you: sometimes the wait is worth it. And oh God did you want the wait to be over! It had been a month since your last lesson, the roughest so far, and you ached to be intimate again. This time with the very man you’d been craving since the start: Risotto.
For a while you pondered if you should just ask one of your teammates to help satiate that yearning, but it felt unfair. Everyone’s had their fun with you, except Risotto. So you remained patient, sure that your broody capo was very busy and trying to find the right time to squeeze you into his packed schedule. But the days kept dragging on, every call for a meeting squashing your hopes and desires when its subject was merely a new hit.
Over the few weeks you had been waiting you tried your very best to go the extra mile; willingly taking on a big chunk of paperwork so Risotto didn’t have to work such long nights, cleaning up his office, bringing him drinks and snacks throughout the day. It didn’t go unnoticed or unappreciated but his thanks were never more than just the word and a nod. He tried to hide his usual broody manner from lifting when you were around. His shoulders would relax and the tight grip on his pen would ease up, that little crease knitting his lovely brows together becoming ever so slightly less dented as he could breathe a soft sigh of relief with you near. Of course he won’t tell, or rather show you just how much he appreciates all you do for him; at least not yet.
If Risotto was truthful to himself, the wait wasn’t a planned one. Work kept piling up and your tired capo needed every bit of rest he could grasp. Knowing how good and obedient you had been with Prosciutto, Risotto knew you could handle it; well at least a bit. Your dark eyed superior wasn’t planning on anything as extreme as the former session, quite the opposite actually. He needed it to be perfect: the right day, the right mood and the right time.
And if your capo was being even more truthful to himself, his thoughts were starting to turn on him. He would be your last lesson. And the last of his men that had already quite successfully showed you how well they could indulge that eager curiosity. The final. The pressure of having to somehow top all other orgasms, top all other deep thrusts and caresses… it nagged at his mind. Pulling at the smallest insecurities that he’d freeze up when he finally had you all to himself. That he won’t be as amazing as your depraved fantasies had conjured him up to be. Even your lovely smile, your eyes that glimmered and had fireworks sparking behind them with every quick glance could only ease his mind so much.
The great Risotto Nero doubted his own expertise. The imposing, brooding, domineering capo fighting his very own powerful battle under that silly little jingly hat. Oh, what have you done to him?
--
For once you weren’t busy, lounging on the couch in the shared living room resting next to Melone. He’s become a bit of a confidant since your night with him, lending his ears so you could air any of your worries and more than gladly airing his own to you. Along with lots of jokes and talks late into the night, the whole ordeal had brought you closer to the usually more emotionally distant man. He’d opened up a lot more which you greatly appreciated since he’d already known so much about you.
At the moment you were just enjoying your rest, the tv in the background offering ambient noise as you nearly drifted off from the relaxed atmosphere, still a bit tired from your previous hit that strained your body. Melone idly talked about anything and nothing, the cadence of his smooth voice bringing you closer and closer to sleep. Your eyes fluttered shut for what felt like mere seconds but as it turns out you’d been taking a nap for a little while.
You were roused from the comfort of slumber by strong arms holding you close to their owner’s chest which felt well built and defined. They felt somewhat familiar in your haze, not sure if it was Melone. Too tired to really care you mumbled some indiscernible babbling, trying to thank whoever it was that so kindly laid you down on your bed.
Wait. This wasn’t your bed, the covers felt satiny, too soft and slippery to be your own thick comforter you liked to huddle in. It smelled completely different too. It smelled like… Risotto. You turned and breathed into the soft pillow, moaning in satisfaction as his smell engulfed your senses making your head feel even foggier. If you could bathe in it, you gladly would. Drenched in the most wonderful essence that clouded your thoughts in a hazy bliss.
“Mhh Ris? S’that you?” you mumbled sweetly as you came up for air, slowly opening your eyes again to assess the room you were currently in. You sat up a little, supported on your elbows, blinking at the darker hues of his surprisingly monochromatic interior. Furniture remained a dark stained wood, nearing a cool black while the walls were kept a light grey offering a lighter feel to the heavier placements of his blocky closet and bed. It was simple and straightforward, offering a seeming simplicity that contained more than it let on.
The room only lit by the soft light of the setting sun that streamed through his thinly veiled windows. As you scanned the room for any sign of him you felt a large figure loom right next to you, a little ways past the square bedside table. “Oh there you are.” A small smile gracing your lovely features, eyes meeting his darker ones that glistened with a certain excitedness you hadn’t seen before. Risotto was getting easier to read as time went on, small hints becoming clearer to his mood and thoughts, leading you to connect the dots on your own.
“All my meetings got cancelled for the day. Our boss had a sudden personal emergency.” his voice rang out even deeper than usual, the sound shivering through your core and straight into the slick building between your thighs. There was a certain relieved salacious hint to his tone, indicating it was finally time to get ravished. The long wait was finally over.
Heat rushed to your cheeks in abandon as the realisation set in. Risotto moved from his previous spot to cage you in his form, denting the mattress further with his added weight. His domineering figure offered no way out from under him, a dark gaze glued to yours as he drank in your expression. So cute and flustered, eyes wide in anticipation, a single touch could melt you. Risotto’s previous anxieties and insecurities were hushed and silenced by your innocent little stare, reminded of just how much he wanted you. Somehow you had still retained a sliver of chasteness, even after your trail of debauchery.
You swallowed thickly, too intoxicated and mesmerised by the realisation of the situation to initiate any further action. Even now you’d gladly wait for your patient capo to strike. “Wh-what are we doing today, Risotto?” Throat starting to feel dry under his continued glare, afraid to lick your plump lips to wet them again.
Risotto inched closer, his beautifully angular jaw relaxed of any previous stress moving ever closer to meet you just a breath away. Lingering over your lips he breathed in gently, as if sniffing his favourite cabernet sauvignon, basking in its essence but only for it to be yours. The one he’s smelled over and over but could never fully take in, for it was never yours alone, there was always another muddling your true essence.
“So sweet…” he mumbled, his breath tickling your lips that ached to meet his, to finally get engulfed by the man you’d craved for so long. Deciding to take a sip, sampling his sweet summer wine, his lips finally met yours. They were soft, softer than expected. Even more unexpected is how carefully he moved them against yours. For a moment he roamed cautiously as if to make sure this was really happening. You were glad he kept his pace slow, his deep kiss nearing a full short circuit of all your brain functions.
Never had you felt this before, an act so common making you feel like you’d entered the gates of heaven itself to be engulfed by anything you’d ever dreamed of. You matched his tempo, letting his tongue linger between your lips, offering a way in if he so liked. And he did, moving it with similar care and motivation, tenderly taking the lead but only to please you further. A moan escaped into his mouth, vibrating through him while your hand reached up to caress the side of his face, into his hair. He’d already forgone his usual hat, letting his silvery locks roam free. He leaned into your touch, gently rubbing a small thumb across his cheekbones and jawline. Mapping out his features in case you’d ever forget.
It made him break his kiss, slowly letting your head fall back into the pillow, admiring how plump your lips had gotten and how he’d love for them to never leave his again. No words were needed to communicate, your bodies told stories and iliads by themselves like they had been doing it for ages.
You both regained your breaths, continuing to drink up each other's flustered expressions. He looked so at ease, so at home, it made you wish he could feel like this forever. As if you weighed nothing more than a feather, he curled his arms beneath you and hoisted you up into him, cradling you and letting you wrap your legs around his hips.
To your surprise he fell onto his back, returning to his lustrous dark satin sheets with you resting on his hips. He never for a moment looked smaller or any less in charge, leading the way of your movements, knowing just what to do and how it could please you. You felt yourself get more and more excited as time went by. Your core feeling ready to explode before much was even done. You rested your hands on his chest, feeling his large length strain against his trousers, a reminder of your final challenge.
Your cheeky streak never left you, not even in this thick heavy fog of desire that seemed to permeate your very beings. You shifted in your seat to rub your clothed wetness against his aching length. The movement alone made him slightly hitch his breath, eyebrow twitching up in a playful manner to ask if you knew what type of game you’d gotten yourself into. You smirked back to let him know just how ready you’ve been to start, commencing once again with a snap of your hips. The move itself making you shiver out a moan as his girth slid perfectly between your folds, rubbing deliciously against your sore clit.
It was as if the sound awakened a new sense of hunger in the man underneath you, his eyes glazed over in lust knowing that his cock made you mewl so sweetly. That only he could truly satisfy that hunger you’ve been trying to satiate with his teammates. The thought alone made his cock twitch, springing him back into action with a great need to hear you whimper out his name.
He lifted himself up to meet your cute little face again, a sit up so casual like it caused his muscled core no effort. You couldn’t help yourself, bringing your lips back to his for a hurried kiss, a quick one to settle the craving. “Get undressed, you’re riding my face.” he demanded, kissing your jaw. His voice so closely against your neck sending yet another jolt of pleasure straight through you. Walls clenching around nothingness and awaiting his tongue.
You quickly undressed, discarding your clothes as fast as possible while trying not to look all too desperate, which was quite difficult because of his previous order to ride his face. He took off his top slow and deliberate, letting you gawk at his muscled arms and torso as they contorted. Risotto bathed in the attention, normally not one to overtly want people to stare or to crave others’ attention that much. But watching your eyes rake over his torso, your eager little glint shining brighter than any light in the room only made him want to indulge you more.
For now he’d keep his trousers on, taking in your lovely form that sat on his hips. Your plush thighs spilling over him so invitingly, the curve of your sides leading the way to your breasts that lay sweetly against your ribcage, nipples stiffened from all the excitement. He wanted to cherish every single bit of you, give every patch of soft skin the attention it deserved. If he was lucky enough he’d get the time today, and many times after to complete that wish.
It didn’t feel embarrassing to let him stare at you, his crimson eyes were so gentle when they took you in, engraving every curve and mound into his memories. Surprised that there could be even more appreciation for you than previously thought. 
Risotto’s large hand reached for your hip, taking in your shape and giving it a soft knead, as if to feel how pliable you were. His touch made your skin tingle, heated sparks spreading in pools around his digits. His other hand moved parallel, assessing the very handles he’ll be holding onto in a minute. “Come on then.” he smirked up at you, his dimple presenting itself so cutely. You felt like you could pass away at how adorable his smutty request was and how casual it felt to talk to your capo in such a way. Any shame or embarrassment just simply not invited to this party.
You did as you were told, positioning yourself right above his face, caging in his head like you’d done before to dear Pesci. Maybe today you’d writhe and moan in such pleasure again, the naughty thoughts sinking you down without Risotto even needing to guide you. It made him chuckle deeply into you as his mouth met your dripping folds, the ripples of his voice tickling you.
He began to lap at you, drinking up all of your sweet essence like it was his last glass of beloved cabernet. His tongue moving with the same care as before, tracing around your clit before giving it a suck with his lips, the aching bud of nerves already hardened with pleasure. You moaned at his ministrations, clamping your thighs while he worked you, bucking your hips rhythmically; setting a comforting pace. Risotto moved in tandem, holding onto your hips like before but gripping them tighter with his large palms, fingers digging into your gorgeous form. Hot breaths swiped at your mound, a dragon breathing steam out of his nose while he softly grunted into you. You felt even more slick trickle down, glad to hear him let go like he has before and not be afraid to be heard. You loved hearing how much he was enjoying himself.
Just like many times before, heat started rising, orgasm near and bringing in tsunamis of pleasure that crashed wildly at your insides, your head reaching new heights of haziness. “Fuck Risotto-” you got out the words between ragged pants and mewls, feeling your walls tighten around his tongue that would dip in from time to time to skillfully work inside. “M gonna come sh-it!” you hunched over to grasp at the sheets for any semblance of support, no place to hold onto the bed frame since it was just out of reach. As you snapped your hips a few more times, Risotto focussing all his attention on working you into a dizzying orgasm, you came on his face. A new sensation washing over you along with the pleasure of your peak, a gushing of sorts that made you moan out his name even louder while your legs trembled around his head.
The silken fabric was too soft, not giving you any grip whatsoever, having to support yourself on your hands while sparks rippled through every crevice of your being. And Risotto had no plans of stopping, keeping up his pace and gladly licking up all your juices, having felt him growl into you when you gushed over his face. You had stopped rocking now, too focused on remaining seated; panting and trying your best not to collapse into the mattress as he kept eating you out.
Risotto ingrained every single bit of your movements and the way he could make you squirm and tremble under his attention. How you yelped out his name during worn breaths, how your thighs and core were overheating from pleasure. He was making you feel this way and no one else for once. At this moment his only job was to make you come again, knowing how quickly you could be urged into your next orgasm if he just kept going. You weren’t the only one learning stuff on this educational favour.
With another strong swirl and suck on your overstimulated clit, your second orgasm was brought on. It made you fall onto the mattress, twitching as you lifted your hips away from his face to catch your breath. The cool air offering some sort of relief while your walls anxiously clasped around empty space. Risotto could finally breathe properly again, not that he wished to be doing anything other than servicing you, cursing his lungs for needing air. His chin and mouth were completely covered in your abundant slick; something he took in pride.
You slowly moved off of him completely, chests both rising and falling deeply. The only sound filling the room was that of your combined heavy breathing. For a moment laying there, relishing in the ambience of pleasure, realising that you were getting what you had wanted. You felt relieved, thankful that he’d made you wait because somehow it made it all the better. And getting in some experience certainly helped too.
“Please fuck me.” you plainly said, reminded of the first time you’d asked him and how nervous you felt, all of that gone now. You heard him breathe out a chuckle, making you turn your head to see why he thought it so amusing of you to ask such a thing. “What’s so funny Risotto?” you asked, smiling at his glistening lower face, wiping off the remainder with his sheets. You’ll just wash them later.
“You still think I’ll just fuck you.” he replied as casually as you’d asked. His facade did not let on any sort of humouring which made your stomach sink and eyes widen. What? Was he not going to fuck you? Your thoughts started spiralling into a panic, propping yourself up to question him further. But you couldn’t even do so, with one swift move he was back on top of you, caging you underneath him with that crimson glare boring through yours.
“I won’t just fuck you gattina.” he intoned, delicately moving a strand of hair back in place while speaking. He leaned back in close now, lips ghosting over the shell of your ear as he breathed out. “We’re going to make love. It’s your last lesson.” he purred, starting a trail of soft wet kisses from your jawline all the way down to your neck and collarbones. You still remained shocked, at least glad that he didn’t mean to reject you.
You were stumped. All that was somehow still a very smooth move despite scaring the actual shit out of you. You huffed out a relieved laugh now too. “You scared me for a second, Ris!” He was steadily working his way down to your chest, letting him take one of your breasts into his hand to knead it and sucking on the pert nipple of the other. His grip was strong but still careful, making sure to massage them just enough to hear your breath hitch. “I’d never leave you hanging high and dry. Unless you’d want me to.” you could feel him smile against your skin; the mischievous bastard. You playfully tugged at his silver locks, dark eyes shooting you a gorgeous smile that pierced right through you and melted your heart. He really was a bastard!
Your heart had settled back into its place, ready to continue and forget all about the short little panic he’d caused you. Guess that was just a bit more payback for testing his patience and strength throughout the sessions.
Risotto halted his succession of pecks right above your ribs, planting a trail where your bra usually made its home and planted a few more wet kisses over the indents that still marked your skin. Like his lips would make them fade and replace them with a loving memory of his touch. You could only stare at his deliberate movements, enamoured by the way he gently held onto your sides while he kissed you sweetly. You were squirming under him, trying your best to not ask him again to plow you into the mattress because by now you knew better; he’ll get to it. Eventually.
You sighed in satisfaction when he stopped, his thick fingers now moving downwards just above your mound. He ghosted over the area, digits barely felt which made goosebumps rise all over, a small yelp leaving your lips at the soft graze. He moved further down, dipping between your soaking folds carefully, avoiding any touch to your overworked bud which still ached to be stimulated again. A single finger slid inside your amply drenched hole now, pumping in and out of you at a slow pace.
Risotto looked up at you, meeting that expression he so loved to see. Lips slightly parted, a soft wet sheen over your forehead from your orgasms, cheeks that remained heated and puffy from arousal. With every thrust he heard a soft moan escape, eyes crinkled shut while he hit further and deeper inside of you with every push. The way your eyes shot open again as he entered another finger, the thickness of them stretching you open further. It felt amazingly tender to have him take all the time he needed - you needed- to adjust to his size.
Your soaked walls clenched and squelched around him, accepting more and more, ready for the precise thing you had been waiting to receive. He hadn’t been paying your sensitive clit any mind, the only focus on working you open. But the way his fingers curled, now three of them joined inside, tickling the most pleasurable spot nestled in your walls you let go and groaned loudly as he made you near another orgasm, head heavy and lost in a thick fog. He didn’t let you come however, feeling how your walls had quickened their grasp on his fingers and how your chest heaved and how those moans and groans sounded so desperate.
He moved himself out of you slowly, creeping up closer over you again and letting his coated fingers rest on your lips. Your eyes met again, glazed over in lust and a deeper craving to be even closer to him, those dark ones so trained on every small contortion and crease of your expression. You opened your mouth to receive them, suckling at the digits and lapping up your own juices with determination. Even propping yourself up a little to better your licks and sucks, eager to work him clean.
Risotto felt like he could burst, your tongue working with a focus that you couldn’t offer last time you had your mouth wrapped around him; too busy being fucked into oblivion on both ends. Satisfied with your cleaning he took them out of your mouth and kissed you again. Deeply and tenderly, tasting each other and your essence on his lips as tongues danced around. It was enrapturing to indulge so much but you were both ready to finally have his large leaking cock inside of you. He promptly discarded his trousers, his leaking head and impressive shaft bobbing as he got ready for you. The image alone never failed to surprise you, making your mouth water in anticipation.
“I’ve waited for this so long. Please don’t hold back, Ris.” you sighed as he kept you on your back, legs being spread open and moved up and wide with your knees bent closer to your chest. More than enough room to accommodate the man and his daunting length, the air no longer fresh or cooling; too heavy with the scent of lust and the heat of the moment. Risotto clasped both of your wrists in one of his hands, his large palms comfortably holding them and reaching them above your head where he held them pressed into the mattress. He leaned over you now, once again capturing you under him in a way that felt so protective and safe, the place where he’d take care of you and cherish every single moment pleasing you.
The familiar tip of his leaking member grazing just outside your hole, leaning at the entrance. Somehow the feeling made you tremble, the fires burning between your thighs lapping flames against him. “Oh I won’t hold back, you’re going to feel every single inch of me.” his wordiness surprised you, the way his deep voice carried making you weak.
His other hand supported his weight beside your head, letting his hips do all the work of carefully pressing deeper into you. The intrusion made you gasp, his head welcomed by your previously stretched walls. Wailing as he slowly inched further and further. He stopped every couple seconds, groaning deeply between heavy breaths, so vocal in how good you fit around him; so warm and inviting. “Cazzo you feel so good-” he muttered under his breath, starting to pump in and out of you, not even fully sheathed yet.
Being so stretched out, hitting every single spot and hidden pleasure-centers made you see stars, eyes pinched shut and squirming under his firm grasp on your wrists. It felt even better than you could ever imagine. He was perfect, made just for you and you for him. The final puzzle piece clicking in place.
When he finally buried himself inside of you, a thrust paced and calculated as to not hurt you in any way, his tip brushed against your cervix sending shivers down your body as you yelped at the sensation. He paused again, letting you pulse around him, feeling every contortion of your core. “Please keep going Risotto, please-” you whimpered, opening your eyes again to beg with a pleading gaze. Of course he can’t deny you, he’s never been able to.
Set back in action he started a steady rhythm, hips rolling his cock inside you with ease. Every single thrust brushing against your g-spot sending wave upon wave of pleasure through you. At this point no one was being quiet, much to your delight. His deep grunts and moans awakening a need to hear them on repeat every single day of your life. It only egged him on to hear you wailing, tears starting to prick the corners of your eyes while he continued. Completely lost in ecstasy, not a single thought in either of your heads other than this moment.
You felt your orgasm earn footing again, his cock reaching so deep and right. Feeling you clasp around him so often only made him twitch, getting close too and all too focused on making you come again before he can spill. “Touch yourself, I want to feel you come on my dick- You’re so beautiful.” He groaned desperately when you clenched even harder around him, his words affecting you greatly. He freed your wrists, letting his other hand support himself as well, letting him deepen his thrusts even further with the added grip.
You toyed your clit with vigour, your folds soaked with your slick letting you increase your pace. Desperate for your orgasm to wash over you while Risotto increased his speed as well. Chasing your peaks together, you reached it first. You could only mumble something that vaguely resembled Risotto’s name at this point, over and over like a mantra that lead your orgasm on. You felt yourself gush over his length again, dripping down onto his already soiled sheets. As you pulsed and writhed riding the waves of it to shore, Risotto followed suit. With a loud guttural groan you felt him tense up and twitch, releasing inside of you with languid spurt of his warm come. His thrusts slowed and sputtered as he kept coming. For a man of his expertise and experience, this was the first time someone had made him come this hard. Well, it was the first of many things he’s experienced with you.
Both breathing heavily as he stopped, resting above you and eyes opening again to adoringly stare at each other's satisfied faces. His eyes held a certain emotion he hadn’t let himself show before; he needn’t use words. You smiled back at him, that goofy satisfied one he always looked forward to seeing after a session, communicating back that you shared his sentiment. 
As soon as he pulled out you felt so dreadfully empty again but never have you felt more full on a different level. That hunger that gnawed at you before now finally satiated (even if just for tonight). You had gotten what you wanted and so much more. The look on Risotto’s face told you much the same for him as he laid down next to you, pulling you into his arms where you nuzzled his sweaty chest. You placed tired kisses on him, basking in his soft caresses over your shoulders and into your neck where he gently massaged your scalp. You melted into his touch, sighing deeply and feeling your sleepiness settle in again. “Thank you Risotto. For everything. I… I really appreciate all you’ve done for me.” you admitted, listening to his heartbeat settle with your head pressed against it, drawing circles into his biceps with your finger.
“I wasn’t sure at first but I’m glad we did it. All of it. It might be strange to say but-” he sighed as he planted another kiss on the crown of your head. “I’m proud of you.” he felt relief wash over him for finally having said what he’d wanted to for so long. It may have been such an unusual thing to have gone through together but he really was proud of you. For always being open minded and learning along the way, for getting what you wanted and even bringing the squad closer together since commencing the journey.
--
Sat between his legs, enjoying the warmth of the water and letting small bubbles fizz at your skin while you let Risotto massage your scalp. He worked the shampoo through your locks with care and purpose as you sat there, eyes closed, head tilted back, fully enjoying the moment. Having him with you as you regained your senses felt so wonderful, usually doing it by yourself as Risotto retreated in the past. But now was his turn to take care of you like he’d wanted. He washed your limbs, running the washcloth soaked in your favourite scented body wash over every plane of skin. Giggling as he paid extra attention to your breasts. “They need cleaning too.” he mumbled playfully. It was like you’d opened up a whole other side to your capo, finally showing slivers of his more vulnerable side, not afraid to let you in.
In return you washed his hair too, scratching and circling every spot that made him putty in your hands. You don’t think he’s ever been this relaxed before. You traced the lines of his muscles, mapping out dividing routes and connecting them again only to break off and discover new ones.
Perhaps staying in the bath a bit too long as you both pruned up, digits crinkled like raisins. Dressed back in the most comfortable clothes you owned, Risotto and you went out into the shared headquarters again. You felt renewed and somehow a bit changed since last walking through these halls. Everyone was seated at the long dinner table that faced the kitchen, talking loudly and passing plates and scooping up helpings of pasta and sauce. Their noise dissipating once you and Risotto entered, eyes now pointed towards your direction and following as you both took your usual seats.
You remained quiet, a smirk gracing your lips as you tried to contain your laughter at the curious stares of your colleagues. “Good nap?” Melone quipped, a salacious smile covering his face, he knows he’ll get all the details later on. “Uhu!” you nodded happily as you held out your plate for Illuso to fill it with pasta, who did as asked with a quirked eyebrow. “Learned enough?” Formaggio asked next, wolfing down his food and basking in the moment of openness. “One can never stop learning.” you replied politely, watching as your plate got handed to Pesci who had turned as red as the sauce he was ladling onto your plate. “Got good grades?” Prosciutto asked, letting himself join in on the questioning with a minuscule smile curling the corner of his mouth upwards. “Top of her class.” Risotto interjected, letting his dimple return as he started his meal. “I might do some extra credit, just in case.” and with that you began your dinner, happily twirling the pasta around your fork and letting your colleagues figure out how you will ever be satiated.
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larathia · 3 years
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My horse in the race.
Totally backing Nicol here. Since there’s some really good posts covering the whole harem’s pluses and minuses all I’ll say is “wow, I have a lot of ‘same’ thoughts with people here, this is unusual and kinda nice”. I just wanted to esplain why this one’s my choice.
Pros/Reasons Why: Nicol is the only harem member to make Katarina swoon just by smiling. Yes, I know, he has that effect on entire hallways full of girls, but seriously here - he makes Katarina the eternally oblivious swoon. And he’s not interested in that hallway full of girls, he’s interested in Katarina. So honestly, if he made a serious play for her, or chooses to do so in the future, I honestly expect fireworks. Like a whole fourth of july foom of fireworks. He doesn’t even need to kiss Katarina to get a reaction from her, and that’s way more than anyone else manages.
In addition, Katarina gets on very well with Sophia, who also loves her, and that’s his big break point with a lot of other girls. Nicol is a package deal with his sister, and frankly Sophia loves Katarina too. 
(Sophia/Katarina is a ship I wouldn’t mind seeing? Like, at all? But Sophia herself seems to be angling for some kind of threesome, and in this case I’m very very okay with that idea as an outcome.)
Plus, Sophia is the reincarnation of Katarina’s friend from our world. So I feel like Katarina hooking up with Nicol results in three happy ever afters at once.
And lbr here. Katarina is adorable but kinda a dumbass. Having help keeping her from being kidnapped, trapped in a closet/a bakery/a bookshop/a pet store/somebody’s forgotten classroom is kind of necessary. Tag teaming for the win, am I right?
The obstacles/Reasons Why Not: Ah, Nicol. The boy has a sense of honor that seriously gets in the way here. He won’t make any kind of move, not while she’s engaged to Geordo. His reasons for not pushing it under these circumstances are fair and speak well of him, but are probably also THE big reason he’s been a background character in the harem up to this point. 
Now, should at any point that engagement be called off, I will be Most Disappointed in this horse if he don’t get off his damn ass and say something. Or do something. I mean really, he could just smile at her and give her a book? Say “come hang with me and my sister for the afternoon”? 
It would be so easy, and that’s actually why I don’t think we’ll see it in the anime for quite some time. (If ever, I know, but this is a hope thing rather than a prediction thing.) Where most of the harem have actual obstacles in their path that should reasonably be dealt with - ranging from personality issues to actual Obstacles like ‘I am legally her brother and might need the parents to do some legal footwork’ or ‘I am a known dark mage’ or ‘I am a commoner’ (yes I know Katarina doesn’t care, but I bet her parents do) or the ever popular ‘I am actually engaged to someone else’ - Nicol has....none of that? He’s not as noble as Katarina, but his family (and he) are well thought of, and if it were a love match, he isn’t so far down in Society that her family would be likely to throw up roadblocks. (Ordinarily I’d say they would, but Katarina’s parents seem pretty clear that Katarina while sweet is not exactly mentally geared for high society.) He’s not a dark mage, he’s not someone you’d want to Keep An Eye On Lest He Try Something, he’s not broke or common or engaged to anyone else...
...and this is a romance anime which means there’s no Drama in this choice. So I really don’t expect the author to do much beyond periodically remind us he’s there and in the running, until something changes. 
In this case, what would have to change is Katarina’s current engagement to Geordo. Katarina is currently a romantically passive character, who’s just STARTING to take the whole engagement thing seriously (as in accepting that she IS engaged to Geordo, and starting to explore whether that’s truly what she wants). I expect that to continue for quite some time, as Geordo isn’t someone you’d lightly say ‘no’ to, but that cannot ultimately be what drives Katarina’s choice.  (Or...I guess it can, but I will be real damn disappointed if it is.)
Now...it’s possible? that if word got around that Katarina did not WANT to marry Geordo, that Nicol might act before the engagement were formally ended. But I have to say I find that kind of speculation pointless at this stage. What I look for right now is ‘does the author make sure you remember Nicol’s there’. Because he’s a very easy choice, but not a story-type dramatic choice, the focus won’t be on him unless conditions are right. (Honestly? I mean personally? I don’t think, if this DOES turn out to be the series’ endgame, that we’ll see much sign of it before, say, at least 2/3 of the way through, for exactly the above reasons. So I’m quite fine watching everyone else go first, as the ride is a fun one and I don’t want it to end soon.)
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runadamsrun · 3 years
Text
I Want to Eat Your Pancreas
Hmm.
So I’ll be writing all of this out, my thoughts and feelings. And talking about the anime too, and how it ties in with those thoughts/feelings, but it’s more so I can get my thoughts out somewhere and process them. I don’t really intend for this to be an anime review or anything. 
I actually just watched the series for the first time this week. Specifically... just this Wednesday (11/17). So at my school (well, technically the school district), we have a Thanksgiving break, where we basically get the whole week of Thanksgiving off. And so I plan on actually playing a movie before every break. The original plan was to watch Josee, the Tiger and the Fish for Thanksgiving break, Your Name for winter break, I Want to Eat Your Pancreas for spring break, and A Silent Voice for summer break. 
Unfortunately (or fortunately?) enough, I couldn’t find any online dubs for Josee, the Tiger and the Fish, and the subbed ones I could find had these incredibly small and illegible subtitles (not for me, but since I’m projecting the movie for the class to watch, the subs are pretty damn illegible). So I decided to instead watch I Want to Eat Your Pancreas with the class.
Y’know, it got me. It got me pretty damn good, actually. I... didn’t expect the movie to hit me so hard. I knew it was good, but I don’t think I even knew that it was a tragedy going in.
It got me for a lot of reasons. I’ll probably list out the less important reasons first, and then followed by the more important ones. Tbh though, I don’t even have my list of reasons as I’m typing this out right now. I’m coming up with them as I go. (For reference, all of my Tumblr posts are like, stream-of-consciousness.)
For one, the soundtrack. Oh my god. The background music playing when they’re reconciling in the rain (after the “house/room scene”), or when the fireworks are going off, or during the credits. But yeah, the main one that gets me is during the fireworks scene: “Himitsu” by sumika.
And I think the second one would be the title drops. When in the beginning, Sakura told Haruki she wants to eat his pancreas. Of course, this was in the context of how it was believed, in the past, that if you were ill and there was something wrong with one of your organs (e.g., liver, heart), you just had to eat another one to get better. But then the title drops later at the end when they... both “confess” to each other. There’s way more meaning attached, and more on this later, actually.
But I think the main reason why this anime hit me so hard is because of the topics that come up. Like, less-so themes, but moreso things the two talked about or said to each other. They’re just so... beautiful, and romantic, and tragic. They’re the main reasons why I’m bothering with this post, and talking about it, and... how I feel about it. For me, I guess the main draw of anime, any anime, and what makes certain ones rank so highly, are those hard-hitting scenes and dialogue and how well they’re done and align with my own thoughts/feelings. (Same with Your Name which I’ll talk about in the future. But also why SukaSuka and Beatless are both in my top 5.) So let’s talk about some of the major scenes that got me, that launched this movie to, not just my top 5, but top 3.
When the two ate yakiniku together, of course, there was a title drop there (when she said she doesn’t want to be cremated so he can eat her pancreas). But then she talked about how there’s a foreign religion that believes that when you eat someone, their soul lives on in you. And the way I read that, it’s... hm. It’s like she was proposing that he spend eternity with her. Which is incredibly romantic in my eyes.
And then in the rain, after the house/room scene, he said that they only happened across each other by chance in the hospital. She refuted this, saying that it wasn’t just a coincidence. That every decision they’ve made so far in their lives led to them meeting that very moment. She then said that it also wasn’t anything like fate, which initially threw me off. (Because that’d be the far more romantic right?) But she followed up by talking about how she chose to write in a notebook, how he liked books and chose to pick it up, and chose to stick with her for the short remainder of her life, all of which brought them together. In retrospect, this is far better, as it suggests that they had some degree of... I guess agency or control over their lives? And everything they did, everything single action they both did, was gradual steps that helped them meet each other.
Of course, the parts where they talked about wanting to be like the other person too. How the other person is so amazing, and how they could become like them. Haruki did this as he was waiting at Cafe Spring, and Sakura did this in her farewell letter. And they followed up with this by saying that they'd like to take a leaf out of the other's book. But Haruki didn’t say this. Instead, he deleted that text and sent another one expressing the same idea, but more... personal. And now it’s something that only the two of them can understand. Something special shared between them, and only between them, in the whole world. But I’ll quote Sakura. From her farewell letter:
You see, I wanted to tell you before I died. That I'd like to take a leaf out of your book. But I shouldn't be using an expression like that. It would be a shame to describe the relationship we have using normal, everyday words. So I came up with this. I know you might not like the idea, but I've decided: I want to eat your pancreas.
The words themselves, as I mentioned earlier, are a title drop. A major reason I really liked this anime. But just a really good title drop would only make me like the anime. The reason why I love this anime is because it’s moreso this concept of... a unique “idea” that’s shared between the two of them, and only the two of them. Somehow... that hits me. An insider thing that only two people in the world will understand.
But our relationship can't be described through simple terms like love or friendship, right?
Sakura also said this earlier, in her letter, and it kind of builds upon the previous ideas I’ve been touching on. Kind of. But the relationship they share, it’s something different. It’s not friendship, of course. But I’d say it’s more than love as well. It’s something that can’t be described using “normal, everyday words” (previous quote). It’s more of... meeting your... hm. Other half? Would this mean that they’re moreso twin flames as opposed to soulmates? I’m not sure, actually. But this concept... ugh. It’s so romantic. Because they’re meant, and made, for each other. Encouraging the other’s change. And growth.
I think this idea is kind of supported when Haruki talked about how, initially, they were like, “We’re complete opposites of each other!” But upon reflection:
You often said that we're not aligned. Not looking the same way. Well, of course not. We were always looking at each other.
Continuing from that exact quote, actually, and going onto my next idea, he then said:
I'm the one who... I lived my life just to meet you.
To meet you. I've made my choices in life for the sake of nothing else.
Because this is in response to what she said, also from her farewell letter:
I always thought I was just like any other of the hundreds of thousands of high school students out there, albeit one living a slightly shorter life than usual. But you cared for a [sic] uninteresting girl like me. You, who have no need for relationships like friendship or love, chose none other than me!
Perhaps I've spent 17 years waiting to be needed by you. Just like cherry blossoms wait for spring!
She also said this again when Haruki told her his name for the first time, and she realized that they were made for each other. (Name-wise, at the time.)
But this idea... this is the biggest one. The idea of a raison d’être. Why I loved HakoMari. Because it’s just so... beautiful and romantic. Living your life for the sake of someone else.
Life, and everything in life, is so ephemeral. So to spend the short life you have, to use it, for someone else, isn’t that just so... tragic and wonderful?
I think all of the reasons above, of course, are what led to I Want to Eat Your Pancreas smashing through my anime rankings and hitting the top 3. Because...
I think of Kale I guess. And maybe Emily back then even, who... well, you can look at that post. I guess a lot of these thoughts are why I was so... heartbroken then.
But Kale... maybe... everything we’ve both done was to meet each other? And our relationship is beyond both a friendship or any describable relationship? And that we’re only showing our other sides to the other person, and only to the other person? 
I don’t know. That’s why this anime gets me. I don’t know how things will turn out between us. And well... damn it. I really don’t know. And I can’t know, and I’ll have to wait and see.
But wouldn’t it be great? Maybe I’ve lived my whole life waiting for someone. For the future sake of someone. And while I don’t know how my relationship with Kale will turn out, or who I’ll meet in the future, wouldn’t it be so romantic if we both lived our lives just to meet the other person?
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sh1tbird-shantytown · 3 years
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So take Erica and Billy being friends and then add Nancy to the mix. These three being friends might just fuel me
i’ll count this as a part three to the other ones i guess. mainly because it’s all i can think to open this with and nancy helping save steve is something i find wonderful. thanks <3
===
Billy sat in the passenger seat, wrapping the handle of the axe with duct tape. Robin took a turn that made Dustin and Erica perk up.
“Why are we going to the Wheeler house?” Dustin asked.
Erica folded her arms and looked judgmentally towards the house, “We better not be here for Mike. That boy gets on my nerves faster than my brother. And that’s saying something.” Dustin scooted a little closer to his door. Billy slid down in his seat a little when the door to the house opened.
Nancy stepped out though. Thin frame in jeans and a plain T-shirt. A small satchel around her shoulder that looked as though it could have belonged to Jonathan Byers. She opened Erica’s door and Erica only raised a brow before moving into the middle seat. Once Nancy was settled and Robin was driving again, they started developing some kind of plan.
“What exactly did Steve mean by tunnels?”
Dustin was the only one that seemed to be able to answer, “Last year we burned a nest. They’re tunnels the monsters used to travel around. Steve would be leading Neil down there so he can burn it up. Either way the monster should be able to be removed. Only downside,” Dustin sighed hesitantly, “Is Billy’s dad will most likely die.” Billy bit his tongue.
Nancy was blunt, “Well it’s either him or countless others. And I choose him.” She dug around in her bag, “I have a few good calibers, but the rest are just shells. Does Steve still keep that extra shotgun in the trunk.” Robin looked at Billy expectantly.
He shook himself a little, “That’s what that’s for?” he looked back a little at her in question.
She smiled to him tentatively, “We can never be too careful. Hopper gave him one just in case but,” she shrugged, “Steve’s not much of a shooter. He prefers his bat and lighter far better.”
Erica rolled her eyes, “We couldn’t tell,” she muttered sarcastically. Nancy laughed along with Billy while Robin and Dustin listened to them all uncertainly.
“We shouldn’t be playing around,” Nancy steadied herself by grasping her knees.
Billy’s smile deflated, “Yeah. Got any plans on how we help Steve without ruining his entire plan? I really don’t wanna lose the dude today. Have some beef with him.”
Nancy scoffed, “Is that really all you can think about right now?” Billy glared at her.
Erica snickered, “No, he means when Steve kissed and ran.”
Nancy stared at her, eyes wide, “Steve kissed Billy? Billy Hargrove? Right there?” she pointed to the man.
Erica nodded, lips pursed, “Got something to say about it?”
Nancy nodded and rose her eyebrows, “Yeah, I do.” Everyone listened in silently, hackles raised. “Why on Earth would he choose Billy Hargrove of all guys. I mean, he’s probably better than Tommy Hagan, but still!” Dustin cackled along with Erica just as Robin smiled slowly at the road.
Billy rose his arms, “Oh! I see! Easy for you to say, Wheeler! I’ll have you know that I’m an absolute romantic.” He nodded to her and crossed his arms.
Nancy laughed mannerly, “Of course you are. Full of surprises are you?”
Robin giggled, “He’s a man of wonders!” she mused mockingly.
“Damn right,” he agreed. She smiled in pleasant amusement along with him. But they all grew serious as Robin pulled up to the junkyard. They stepped out and lined up horizontally to take in the scene. Erica stood between Nancy and Billy and pulled their sleeves for their attention.
“Do I get a weapon?” she eyed Nancy’s bag. Billy made eye contact with the other and then looked back at Erica.
He placed an hand on her shoulder, “Just stick by us, we’ll keep you safe.” She nodded, although a little defeatedly for the lack of action allowed to her.
Nancy placed her own hand on Erica’s other shoulder, “We’re a team, just stay around us and keep an eye out for our backs. That’ll be very helpful.” She reached over to Dustin too, “You too, you and Erica are a team. Keep an eye out and stay in the safe zones.”
Erica hummed around a grin, “Okay.”
Billy looked back out while Dustin asked skeptically, “And what are the safe zones?”
Robin ruffed his hair as she scouted behind a bus in the distance with her eyes, “We don’t know.”
“There!” Nancy pointed to figures off to the right running towards them.
Billy brought his axe up to his shoulder, “Harrington really has some stamina, eh?” Nancy cocked her gun and Robin dug around in her own bag for the fireworks and lighter.
Steve came into sight, face flushed and shining with sweat, chest moving up and down fast. He was in sight one moment and then he was down and gone the next. Billy then noticed the gaping hole in the dirt. He squinted at it and then stepped forward a few paces when Neil straight up dropped down in after him. Robin’s breathing was staggered as she pulled out a mostly empty bottle of alcohol and a towel.
Nancy started walking forward, “Billy get to the hole and be ready to pull Steve back up. Robin get your stuff ready. Dustin and Erica, you take the fireworks and be ready.” Billy ran to listen to Nancy’s organized orders, auto pilot initiated. Robin was immediately at his side with the bottle in the crook of her arm and a lighter and small towel at the ready to burn. Nancy was opposite them with her gun aimed down at the hole.
There were footsteps and then Steve was there looking up at them. Billy instantly grabbed Steve’s arms and lifted him up.
Steve coughed raggedly, “What are you all doing here?” Erica lit up a firework just as Dustin did, each throwing one down as more footsteps were heard.
“Saving your ass,” she said and hurried over to him. Steve laid in the dirt, still coughing. Nancy huddled Dustin and Robin out of the way of the fireworks exploding below them. Erica pushed Steve up, “Don’t lay on your back, idiot,” she scolded quietly. She set him against Billy, side against side. She nodded at them just as Robin threw down her homemade fire starter. And then Dustin threw another. It smelt like burning meat, a BBQ of sorts. It was revolting.
Billy sighed and started standing up with Steve’s arm over his shoulders, “There goes my last parent.” Steve grunted and then started coughing again. They all started their way back to the car. Nancy rushed over to help with distributing Steve’s weight, Erica by her side. Robin took the axe and went to reload the car and start it up.
Erica worked on putting the lighter she had had back into Nancy’s bag, “Where’s your bat, Steve?”
They got a sigh and then, “I had to drop it to run faster.” He was still breathing hard. It was concerning.
Nancy helped Billy get him in the passenger seat, “You did good, Steve,” Billy praised and caressed his cheek for a moment before he ducked out. Steve was left smiling and breathing opened mouthed as he slowly closed his eyes. Nancy and Erica both had their arms folded as they watched him.
He scowled and shouldered past them as they laughed together softly, “Not a word.”
“Steve and Billy sittin’ in a tree,” Nancy sang behind him.
“K-I-S-S-I-N-G,” Erica laughed with her as they crawled and squished into the backseat with Dustin. Erica sat across Nancy and Billy’s laps with a big, happy smile on her face.
Billy sighed and rolled his eyes, “First comes love.”
Nancy smirked and her eyes brightened in pure delight, “Then comes marriage.”
Billy groaned and shook his head as Erica finished with, “Then comes a baby and a baby carriage!”
Steve moved around a little and looked back at them, “We should have three.”
Billy shook his head fondly, “Go back to sleep, Steve.”
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