#but generally that’s not really been the way we discuss things

[persianflaw]

ATTENTION ALL PERSONNEL!

ATTENTION ALL PERSONNEL! The M*A*S*H fanfiction community has been approved! actually it was approved two weeks ago but i was on vacation

This community is open to any and all fans of M*A*S*H fic. Whether you're a writer, a reader, or a total newbie, this space is for you! You can talk about fics you've loved, ask for advice about a sticky plot point in your latest WIP, ask for recommendations for a ship you like, share an AO3 link to your latest fic, or share snippets from your work; the world is your oyster!

>> LINK <<

(As of 6.21.2024, communities don't let you generate an invite link yet, so just like/reply to this post if you want an invitation! This post will be updated with a proper invitation link once that feature is implemented.)

RULES (May be subject to change, but probably not that much change, lol.)

Be nice. Duh. Any bigotry or unkind behavior will not be tolerated. Welcome everyone with open arms and open hearts, and be ready to make new connections.

18+ only. Go nuts. Show nuts. Whatever.

No gory or sexually explicit images. Most of these go against tumblr's TOS, and we don't want the community to get deleted.

Keep things on topic. We're joining this community to talk about fic, so let's make sure we keep our posts fic-related! General discussions about M*A*S*H are fun, but not what this community is intended for.

If you don't like something, scroll past. We all like different things, and that's what makes the world interesting. If someone shares a fic that isn't to your tastes, you don't have to read it. Leaving a rude comment on anybody's post will get you kicked. (If you're concerned that somebody is posting bigoted or hateful material, let me know, but I honestly don't anticipate this being an issue at this time.)

Use read mores for long posts or NSFW material. This makes navigating the dash easier, and helps prevent people from getting jumpscared by lovingly detailed descriptions of oral sex on the subway, something that has of course never happened to me.

Tagging or using content notes for your writing is encouraged. This is the best way to find your audience. People who aren't interested in a particular subject can skip over, and you'll also be able to draw in the people who are enthusiastically interested! If you think a particular topic might be especially sensitive, a read more is never a bad idea.

Only give concrit (constructive criticism) when asked. This is a somewhat contentious topic in fandom as a whole, so we're keeping it simple and asking that members don't give criticism on fic posts unless the author specifically requests it.

And one final note:

Small groups and communities can easily become cliquish. Few things feel worse than joining a group, hoping to find like-minded people, only to find yourself surrounded by what feels like an impenetrable friend group with no interest in talking to you. Nobody wants to feel alone in a crowd.

So when you join this group, don't just talk to people you already know. That defeats the point of joining this kind of community, anyway! Make an effort to talk to someone new. Leave a gushing comment about a stranger's fic excerpt. Tag someone who you think has a really cool interpretation of a character you like. Reply to a post that hasn't gotten any attention. Include people who seem a little shy. Be open and friendly and welcoming.

[kimberlyannharts]

Ultraman: Rising!

Sure we all know the Power Rangers reboot has been passed on at Netflix but instead we have this hot new piece of toku instead: Ultraman: Rising! And I finally got the chance to check it out last night.

I know Ultraman is one of the big toku/kaiju genre staples but it's never really been on my radar of things to watch. I'm not sure why! I guess Super Sentai/Power Rangers just has more of the it factor that appeals to me. So because of that I really have no context to the story besides it's a guy who can turn into a giant silver superhero that beats up kaiju.........or maybe it's an alien who looks like a human and the silver superhero is his true form? or maybe the human and the silver superhero are two separate beings that share the same body? idk. It's probably all three of those things depending on the series. But this film was marketed as a standalone that new fans could enjoy AND....the big one.....it's ANIMATED, so I felt more inclined to check it out.

And it was really really good!! I enjoyed it a lot!

Spoiler-ish thoughts on the film below:

= Let's get this out of the way: the biggest draw to this was the animation and art direction, and yeah, it slaps. The textures and stylization (always love 2D painted effect animation on explosions and things) and lighting were a full-course meal and the scenes where they focused on Ultraman's shining eyes staring through a window or computer screen were just SO striking. To the point where I feel that if I got around to watching the actual live-action Ultraman, it might feel a little underwhelming in comparison. Oops

= It does kind of fall in the cliches of the "selfish guy learns maturity by having to be a father" plot (with bonus "son is estranged from his dad and mom is missing but they work to improve their relationship" sprinkled in) which makes me appreciate The Return even more (sorry, I'm still Returnpilled) but it's still charming and I can hope if we get more movies they give a little more focus to Ami and Emiko (speaking of which, I know they weren't doing a romance this movie, but Ami having a daughter and the movie being about Ken raising a daughter? oh you know it's happening and I'm here for this because they're both so hot)

= I think Ken is also a better example of the "showboating egotistical hero who learns to mature" than most because the movie isn't afraid to show him vulnerable even before his character development. I was genuinely surprised at that scene where he starts crying out of the stress of balancing his baseball career and figuring out Emi

= Apparently there was some discussion that the movie didn't bring up Ultraman's origins which, as someone who knows next to nothing about Ultraman, that didn't really bother me? Obviously I can still give more benefit of the doubt than people who don't know much about the tokusatsu/kaiju genre to begin with, but even so, I was still pretty down with the concept of "this guy has the ability to turn into a giant silver superpowered man and passed the ability down to his son" - and I think in the age of superhero blockbusters in general the idea isn't that farfetched that it requires more explanation. In any case it's a bit of a moot point since future movies are clearly going to talk about Ultras and their origins more, based on the stinger.

= Is Emi a clear kid-appeal character meant to be shown off in marketing and merchandising because of how squishy and cute she is? Yes. Is she just so fucking squishy and cute and my newest baby child? YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES. I am not immune to monster baby. I think it helps that I always found the old monster screeches cute and applying them to a baby babbling was kinda genius in its execution. And I'm glad they kind of got the obligatory "haha babies poop and are smelly and gross" jokes out of the way early (yeah they had the whole "acid reflux" thing in the second act but I've seen way worse in other media)

= The subtitles calling Sato's Ultra form "Ultradad" and his Ultra mustache were both really funny

= Obviously I knew Ken wasn't going to die when he threw himself on Dr. Onda's mech (btw the mech was sexy) but I definitely expected a little more than just a busted arm with how they were building up how the blast would have "destroyed them all" kdjkfdj maybe they cut to after he had recovered a bit. Though in general I'm not quite sure of how durable Ultraman is

= Kind of a milf. reblog

[vampire-exgirlfriend]

So many people say they're being plagarised and offer no proof except all this hearsay. The one time I saw two people actually offer proof @selfproclaimedunicorn dismissed it as their writing and the accused were basically writing the same generic boring mid smut and weren't being plagarised at all or plagiarising. She says they were causing drama over generic expressions. The funny thing was the complainants fic was being recycled in a new fandom by the accused and nobody really took it seriously except a handful of their mutuals. It's you lot who create cliques and fear mongering and this idolatry worshipping writers with huge followings, in time creating your own worst enemies. People with clout somehow in the fandoms always act like corrupt cops. But it's people in the fandom who create it. I've never seen you reblog anyone's work except your friends. I've seen Natasha reblog different people and offer nice comments. But you and your friends don't. And Ange is .... I don't know. Will she be a bullet you dodged? She has a big following end she was part of a group who were unbelievably toxic until she changed (?) People are just awful in this fandom and you know it getting a taste of it yourself here and elsewhere. I've no doubt people whose OCs are overlooked and ignored or whose x readers are not read, their voices are silent and people steal from them voraciously and nobody cares. People friends with the bigger writers close ranks and shut everyone out and everyone else is scrabbling to fit in and be noticed. I can name on one hand writers who write for the fun and not attention or notes. I don't know you and I'm sorry you have suffered this but welcome to our world

honestly, i wasn't going to answer this because so much of it is just fucking stupid.

I know exactly what you're talking about re misa, and you tagged the wrong blog. it wasn't her that said that, it was @julyzaa - and you know what...she wasn't wrong. she was talking about two fics that shared a similar premise. and we both agreed that it wasn't plagiarism. it was just two authors who wrote an aemond smutty one shot with similar vibes. of which there are a million and one fics like that right now. there is an importance in being able to discern the difference.

and i'll just say it, this obsession of constantly bringing up Ange is weird. it's creepy at this point. you're welcome to dislike someone, but it's becoming glaringly obvious that there's individuals in fandom that want to blame an outside person instead of looking at themselves and the company they keep. in my time being Ange's friend, not once have I been bullied/harrassed/intimidated - not even in a joking way. the chatting never turns toxic and the only time we're talking about other people is when shit gets weird on the dash (like it is right now). that's just normal social interaction, babes. we spend most of our time discussing fic and the show and our real lives.

and frankly, i don't know where this idea of 'clique' came from or why it seems this is an accusation that's being thrown around - not just at myself but others. there's no clique. there's no secret club or burn book or whatever you think there is lurking out there where we're concerned. im so confused as to why it's an issue that friend groups crop up and people get close. that's the nature of being mutuals! it's weird to be angry at people for making friendships and taking those friendships offline.

this is my blog and i'm allowed to reblog what I want - as is everyone else. you don't have a solution for whole 'clique' conundrum you seem so concerned with, so I can only assume your answer would be for me to just reblog everything I see, in hopes that your work reaches an audience. and i'm not going to do that. i will reblog the stories and edits that speak to me, that inspire me, that i actually enjoyed. and i've become friends with a lot of those authors, sure. because i put in the effort to get to know them. i stopped posting on tumblr because I got no response when posting my fic. My audience is clearly elsewhere. But it's always 'will you reblog my stuff' but it's never reciprocated, so what's the point in supporting mutuals if the mutual relationship is gone? have you ever reached out to me? have you ever struck up a conversation or attempted to chat about something other than fic? no? then why do you have any expectations of me at all where your fic is concerned? maybe look that the relationships you have formed and you'll have your answer.

[panelshowsource]

now that s17 is over, how did you like it? it feels like most people either thought it was mild or weak, which makes me sad, so i stopped going to the discussion threads about it :""( i also don't see much anticipation for s18...

aww anon well, first, if you had a good time then that's what matters! so i hope series 17 brought you a little joy each week, that's what panel shows are for in my humble opinion 😚

because i know i'm about to word vomit some word salad, i'll throw out some s17 reactions + s18 thoughts below the cut! that way anyone who is sick of my nonsense doesn't have to scroll past it lmaooo

series 17 was a decent one! i don't think it's in the hall of fame, but it's definitely nowhere near the couple of "unwatchables" as they're (pretty unfairly) called. i've talked before about one of the downfalls of a season is when a group doesn't harness their dynamic and take control of the show — when they're in the studio and just sit quietly, waiting for greg to give them permission to speak, things flow well for the editors but the experience lacks. this is why s1, 2, 4, 5, 7, 9, even 12 are so silly and chaotic: the contestants were constantly fighting, interrupting or pausing judging, trying to convince or gaslight or challenge greg, just...speaking! talking! interacting! if that doesn't happen, taskmaster can just feel like show and tell, which is not when it's at its best

ultimately, this is why too many polite and well-behaved people in a single series is a pleasant watch but doesn't hit very hard. this series was exceptionally nice, we have to admit. joanne followed by steve may have been the "hang on a second ☝️" contestants of the series, but not by a lot, meanwhile nick and sophie were the loveliest, pretty quiet people and john was dead silent most of the time. actually, that was something that ended up surprising me — john was so focused on the tasks, so focused on winning, most of the time he didn't pause to give significant, funny commentary while filming, didn't give us *nearly* the banter with alex i anticipated, and was particularly quiet in the studio. i knew he'd be in it to win it, don't get me wrong, but he approached taskmaster more as a richard herring than an ed gamble, if you know what i mean. it was very funny to me when he was on the tm podcast and was more or less like "i know i didn't prioritise being entertaining" lmao that earnestness can be sweet, because i do like to watch the show imagining how i would do each task, but his ~no nonsense~ approach was turned up to 11 for a lot more of the series than i anticipated. i almost wish john had leaned a little more into his self-aware neuroticism and competitiveness just because that's generally a good character on taskmaster — and this series was definitely missing that

(you know, talking about this really reinforces my belief that kerry godliman is perhaps the most perfect taskmaster contestant...ever. competitive, no nonsense and full of nonsense, top bantz, stands up for herself and tears down others but fights without being genuinely angry or butthurt, doesn't know enough to try and figure out a workaround for every single task, loves and bullies alex in equal measure... just love the woman. love her. fuck it, same for jess knappett. i miss my girls😭 this is ALSO why i think rosie is a great fit for tm)

anywayz i haven't read mucho mucho discourse about series 17, but it wouldn't surprise me if that's the vague "criticism" people: just more lowkey vibes than other series. but some people prefer that, so..!!!

i think, too, too many people look back at series 1–...7? at least and want to see the same greg–alex dynamic, approach to the prize tasks, approach to scoring, lil tricks, what have you — and that is not gonna happen again. ever. for example, greg and alex have talked too many times about how hard they try to score things "fairly" because that's become such a big point of conversation for the viewers at home and, atp, even the contestants. personally, i don't prefer that. fuck fair! this is not a real competition it's an entertainment show!! when greg was throwing out points willy nilly, bonus points for eating hair, giving 5 points to a prize just bc it's his personal sense of humour and ranking another contestant's prize low every week just bc that's a funny recurring joke/dynamic, whatever. i do not care. give phil wang 1 point every time. points schmoints. but that cannot happen anymore because the viewers starting taking the points so darn seriously. (not to mention the opportunity to do coc is now pretty coveted for its $$$ and exposure, too, i'd imagine.) the same goes for greg leaning into his dictator role, the master/slave relationship between him and alex, alex being super stoic and quiet — not only does tm think those characters and dynamics are played out, but in some ways the audience has evolved beyond all that

my point is that people get caught up in the Old Gen Taskmaster that hooked them and can't accept the ways in which the show has evolved — even if it's in their opinion for worse. do i think it would kill taskmaster to go back to slightly less convoluted tasks and commit to the 1–5 point system instead of constant ties (or "this was a 3-point effort")? no. i would like to see that lmao but i don't view the series through the lens of a series 1 fan anymore, either. a reality check would help a lot of complainers

i did read one thing i thought was interesting — that with the huge number of series we're at with tm uk, and now the accessibility of other countries' spin-offs, there is a bigger and bigger pool of God Tier Taskmaster to compare each new series to. it used to be "hmm does this new series stack up against series 4, one of the all-time greats?" but now we're stacking new series up against the top ~6 of tm uk, tm nz s2, a couple of the tm belgiums, tm aus s1, and so on. competition is stiff!! not many series can be The Very Best Of All Time, so with each new tm uk that isn't, people start to feel like the show has gone downhill when it probably is stagnant at worst. does that make sense?

i don't wanna sound like every criticism of tm can be explained away or comes from a bad place. as i've mentioned above, i have my qualms. this series, one of my major qualms and seriously unpopular opinions was that i didn't like that steve wasn't actually bringing in prizes half the time. like, he was doing bits and they were funny bits, but greg was scoring him mad high for the effort he put into his bits instead of the actual prizes he brought in for entry. i stand by that opinion, but the thing is i didn't let that ruin my experience of the show. but, maybe, it just comes down to the fact i want to like it...so i do ^^

maybe i talked way too much about criticism and negativity hahah some things i really enjoyed from this series:

nick is probably the second person following john kearns who i actively disliked before taskmaster specifically because i had only ever seen their comedy characters doing dictionary corner or a bit of standup — and i really didn't like them. (still never seen ted lasso!) lo and behold, they go on taskmaster and are S Tier Sweethearts and i see them both in totally new lights! in fact john's last standup show is being released shortly and i cannot wait to watch it — which me of the past would never believe i'm saying lmao so i'm so grateful the show opened my eyes to what a funny, sweet person nick is!! and may i say his and john's styles in the studio are massively underrated. they are both incredibly snazzy dressers!

steve and nick were a sweet little team weren't they! i think it would have been funnier to have john x sophie (the best and the worst, in their own ways) vs. the more harmonious steve x nick x sophie, but regardless it was very cute stuff

the location was great! i fucking love a big open field, i fucking love a river

greg has had some really strong intro "speeches" the last few series and i loved his this time around. they're just equal parts stupid and weird + his authoritative, classic greg delivery always makes me laugh heh

some of the strongest live tasks in a while!! catching the little monsters, passing the loo through the tube, bouncing the ball on the bar — all felt like quintessential uncomplicated classic taskmaster parlour games and they were good fun

TONS out outtakes content!

and gosh it's wonderful to have a new little hour of pleasantness to have each week :)

regarding s18... it's an interesting lineup! in a good way!! i think rosie's character is more or less a perfect fit for the taskmaster format. obviously she is one of the biggest female comedians in the uk right now, but i didn't bet on her doing tm because i didn't think the show could commit to accommodating her disability for 10 episodes. and, frankly, they may not — and i guarantee she is completely okay with that. she was born from the rhod gilbert school of showing up to fuck around, and i sleep soundly knowing she will do just that. i really like jack dee and i'm happy for alex to have made it work with him. it typically wouldn't be my choice to have two senior comedian white men on one series, and (unpopularly?) i'm not really a zaltzman person, but i have no doubt he'll be quite charming. emma sidi is part of the alex horne bubble of friends i have mentioned a few times before, but i actually don't know much about her. babatunde feels like a sensible fresh pick since he's been doing more variety/panel shows; i don't watch him on googlebox (which i love) because i don't like mo gilligan (very unsorry about this opinion heh), but what i've seen of him i've enjoyed! i don't think the group's dynamic is obvious just from their list of names, but the fact they're all comedians is VERY promising and makes me supersupersuper happy — all comedian lineups are historically the strongest. so yay!! but can you imagine who will be on a team?? god imagine a jack x rosie team lmfaoooooooooooo i live for the thought

hope that made sense and if it didn't whoops! don't mind me heheh

[livesworthlivingau]

Lives Worth Living Chapter 14

ISAT Spoilers below the break!

"It seems I must have finally taught you how to properly steep tea over those decades." (Odile comments with a smirk, watching you carefully pour from the kettle into each of your teacups.)

"It only took me 5 of those years to make a decent cup~."

"... The fact I can't tell if that's a joke or not is more concerning than anything else..." (You let out a heavy chuckle at her somewhat worried look. You stick your tongue out a give an exaggerated wink.)

"And it still doesn't count as a wink if you only have one eye Siffrin..."

"You've been telling me that for 30 years Odile, it never sticks~." (She just rolls her eyes as she adds a bit of honey and milk to her tea.)

"Speaking of… How are you doing Siffrin, truly?"

"… I think you already know the answer to that question, Madame" (You tease with the lightest chuckle, though it's bittersweet.)

"I suppose I do, though it would still be nice to hear you say it properly." (You pause for a second, before letting out a sigh.)

"… I don't really know anymore… I guess I'm better than I was the first time around at this point, the first few weeks were really rough for me… It's nice to make some better memories to replace it… But those bad times were still important too…" (You start to explain, your hand wrapping around your covered forearm, as if for emphasis.)

"Those moments helped get you to where you are now… It may have been a painful journey but it was just as important as the destination." (Odile finishes the thought for you, her arms crossed as she gets lost in her own thoughts.)

"… Yeah… I know you don't want me to apologize again for what I said on that last day… So I'll just say thanks Odile, for trusting me with your oh so sacred backstory~." (You laugh. Your eye starts to blur from the tears welling up in it before you wipe them away. Odile just smirks a bit at your comment before rolling her eyes.)

"Yes yes, that and my fake research. I'm simply too generous for my own good." (She remarks sarcastically.)

"Now let's discuss something else, I'm tired of all these emotions."

"Heh, I couldn't agree more."

----------------------------------------------------------

"Hey, Odile?" (You ask over your shoulder, fiddling with some thingamajig you found on the shelf. The both of you going on one of your famous 'secret missions' at a little random shop in the town you were passing through.)

"Yes, Siffrin?" (She responded over her shoulder as well, glancing through the various books they had for sale.)

"... There's... I can't stop thinking about something... from, uhh... before." (You begin, trying to dance around the topic without explicitly stating it. She pauses, perking up and waiting, as if telling you to continue.)

"... We all kinda went separate ways eventually, we were still a family of course but... we all had someone else at least... everyone but you Odile..."

"... What is it you're trying to say?"

"I-I'm saying... I don't know if you were happy... It felt like all that you cared about was work, when none of us were left around... You never got a partner, you never talked about friends you made, you..."

"Why are you bringing this up now, Siffrin?"

"... Probably because I never got the chance to before, and I didn't want to let that happen again..."

"I'm not sure how much use there is in talking about something that happens decades from now. What are you proposing anyways?"

"I... I don't know, just... I want you to be happy, I don't want you to be alone..."

"So, what do you intend then? Should I move in with you and Isabeau and stay on the couch forever?" (She asks with a smirk. Your lip curls a bit in response, but quickly falls again.)

"I mean it, Odile..." (She pauses at that, sighing out as she realizes how serious you were.)

"... Very well, Siffrin, I promise I'll keep this in mind... We've got a long road ahead of us until that but maybe things will be different this time around. That's what you're hoping for, yes?"

"In some ways I guess... I mean, these loops have to be for something, right?..."

"Maybe we should be focusing on that right now instead."

"Yeah... I guess you're right." (She suddenly walks over and lifts your hat off, ruffling your hair heavily.)

"You might have some years on me now, but you still overthink just the same." (The both of you laugh the seriousness of the conversation off, finishing up your little trip.)

[lover-of-mine]

You said something about "do I over judge Tommy". In regards to the age difference.. and I just wanted to add this perspective. I would never accept him as end game because I ship Buddie. But in 4, I actually did think he was cute at the end. I did have to let go of that in general I do not like unconcentual lip locks no matter your orientation. But like the mouth static ext.. I didn't hate it......

But then we are clearly told the Tommy we saw, and to be clear, we really didn't see him until the end of the episode, the whole of the episode revolved around Buck watching Eddie.. Well, that was all from Bucks tinted glasses. Tim made sure we knew this. So, from episode 5 and on, we see the actual Tommy. I don't feel bad for judging him because it was an absolute personality flip. He seems disinterested in actually courting or charming Buck. He has no new relationship energy vibe in regards to Buck. There is no excitement to his vibe. So me personally, I don't judge my reaction to the daddy joke because it lines up. He thinks Buck is hot and just wants a sexual relationship with someone pretty and younger. I don't get why that opinion can be controversial. It's all I saw. The show made no attempt to show a deeper connection. Or the fact that in the beginning, when he is hanging out with Eddie that he has any interest in Buck. I mean, they could have given me a scene of "Hey, you should invite Buck along," from him to Eddie. But they actively didn't. So why should I invest more into a pairing? The show clearly doesn't so why should I?

Yk, I even added hater to my description just because I got annoyed, but something I always do is try to be objective when I'm posting this stuff, I try to back what I'm saying up with canon at all times, and sure, I can get aggressive if I'm mad, but I'm not going around calling people names. I did stay neutral about the relationship until it got unbearable (which was pretty fast since I have been called homophobic since 703 but...) and I discuss bt with @the-tomorrow-road quite a bit and they bring me back to that objectivity, and the other day they said something along the lines of "now you're just looking for reasons to bash him" and I know that, at this point, I want to dislike the guy, but, the idea we are not supposed to believe the relationship is gonna last and the idea that we are not supposed to like Tommy are two different things. A lot of the problems with Tommy is the reaction to him. BT is firmly in the background of the show, it's kinda like Ali or Ana, the relationships never stood a chance but we were never encouraged to dislike them, but there was never a fandom around them, so we were never thinking this hard if should we like or dislike them, yk? They were just there with the not-so-occasional misogyny-fueled bashing. But Tommy on the other hand, yes, the relationship is not being presented to us as having endgame potential, but as Lottie likes to remind me, if it was as bad as we make it seem, the scene with Bobby in 709 wouldn't go that way. So, I know I'm not supposed to be invested in the relationship, but I cannot tell if my dislike for Tommy is about what the show is telling me or the general HORRIBLE experience I'm having with him in fandom, Tommy being presented as a not that invested boyfriend doesn't automatically mean he's being presented as a bad person. Yes, he was painted in a bad light during the begins episodes BUT we are supposed to believe he evolved, the show did give the idea that gay excuses complacency, he was scared for himself and hid behind his privilege, which isn't great, but Tommy got a cake when he transferred, he helped when Chim called in two different situations, he got mentioned by him in another, and given his general s7 persona, that feels like part of his personality, he just doesn't warm up to people the way we would expect, and that can just be an aspect of his character construction, not as something that's being designed for us not to like him, but instead is just there so we won't think he's a good long-term match for Buck because he doesn't match Buck's energy. Bad boyfriend doesn't automatically mean bad person. And there's also the way that not being the type boyfriend we expected also doesn't mean bad boyfriend. I know I'm not supposed to love him when it comes to Buck, but I still don't know how I'm supposed to feel about him outside of Buck.

But in the end, what I know is that Tommy in 704 had to be presented that way to justify bi Buck. They needed the audience to believe Buck would want him because Buck has been presented as a womanizer. Ever since then, they have been making the relationship look less and less like something that would be good for Buck beyond the honeymoon phase. But the relationship being doomed doesn't necessarily mean they are trying to make Tommy into a bad person, because for the most part, he's just there. I do agree the show didn't give us any reason to be invested in the relationship, so I'm not, but yeah, this is my mental conflict when it comes to him.

[lesbiangracehanson]

lmao the therapy session i just had . no one will be hearing from me for 2-5 working days whilst i ponder…..

[egophiliac]

Hi it's just to let you know that the official romanization of Revaan's name is Raverne ! Also they have romanized Baul's name to Baur !

Twst coming back at us again with the least expected romanization! thank you everybody (oh god my inbox) (no it's great, I literally asked for this and the reactions have been INCREDIBLE, thank you all!)

I do like Raverne though, I think it's got a nice fancy sound to it! (I had kinda suspected it was going to be an R instead of an L, so the fact that it's SO close to Laverne except for that is hilarious to me personally.) and Dragoneye Duke is honestly probably the best translation for his title, I wasn't envying the localizers that one. :') Baur instead of Baul I was NOT expecting, but in retrospect I think his name's supposed to be a reference to the Bauru crocodile, so that actually makes way more sense!

someone else also said Meleanor has become Maleanor, which is the REALLY weird one to me, because I was so surprised it was written as Mel instead of Mal in the first place?! oh god no I can't decide which one I like better. 😭 (I wonder if they might change it to Mal...they have made romanization changes before) (like I remember House of Distraction being corrected to House of Destruction in Playful Land) (I did check and she's still Mel for now, but I dunno, they might Mal her up and some point and save me from having to make a decision about which one to use) (HECK I CAN'T DECIDE)

uhhhh thank you for letting me ramble about anime names, let's just say MONOGRAMMED SWEATERS FOR EVERYONE

[tricksterlatte]

The Online Fandom 7 Deadly Sins

sloth: complaining about how no one writes the tropes or pairings you like and bashing what's already out there, while refusing to create anything you desire yourself

greed: zine and other finance-related scandals with zero remorse for those negatively affected

gluttony: spending rent money on merch, experiencing buyer's remorse, then repeating the same process next month

wrath: anon hate over literally everything under the sun, even harassing official writers and threatening them if they don't make your ship canon

pride: devaluing other's characterizations and ships to praise yours as better, whether through a canon perspective or a moral perspective, when neither matter in the long run when it comes to your own enjoyment

envy: trash talking others' fandom creations or saying you won't bother creating anything because it'll never be as good as them

lust: fighting over who tops or bottoms because of your personal preferences when one, both, or neither could happen, especially when most of these characters never even kiss canonically nor have most people fighting done any of these things irl themselves

[mrfoox]

God im... Probably too nice but it's fine

[girl-bateman]

Not to jinx it, but even though its been tougher to fall asleep lately, my dreams have actually been much better. I can't remember the last time I've had so many vivid dreams in a row and none of them being nightmares !!

The things coming to the surface right now might be terrifying, but maybe a part of me has been dealing with these problems all along during sleep. As devastating as everything feels right now, I'm hoping that the effort I'm putting in to understanding and hopefully fixing things will give my subconscious mind some well needed rest.

[gibbearish]

to anyone watching the james somerton situation and going "well how DO you write your own things like this then? everyone's talking about how /not/ to but i dont know where to start, the way highschool taught me essay writing was all about the number of sentences in a paragraph and mla citations :("

you know how james made things up between his """sources""" that sounded just plausible enough that people accepted it? he did it in the wrong order, do that part first THEN research. 100% serious right now, just make some shit up in your head that sounds vaguely right based on what you know now, write it down, and then go check if you're actually right or not. boom, now you have a topic. thats literally all it is, its just you saying "i think (xyz)" and then checking to see if the facts agree with you or not. if you turn out to be right, talk about what lead you to the conclusion initially and anything you learned about that you didn't predict. if you turn out to be wrong, talk about the right answer and examine why you thought differently at first. then either way talk about how things got that way, if you think it should stay like that, and why (e.g. how does it being that way effect people right now). tada suddenly you have an essay that is unplagiarized and entirely your own thoughts, with a plethora of sources on hand to cite because That's What You Used To Check. now be free your beautiful doves

[malusokay]

becoming a better student ₊˚⊹♡

Prepare for your classes ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Wake up on time. We don't want to be stressed first thing in the morning, right?

Eat breakfast. So you will be able to better focus in class.

Assigned reading and homework. Make sure you are prepared for your classes!! :)

Review your notes. Going through some of your flashcards before class is really helpful.

Check your bag and charge your devices. Ensure you have everything you need: Books, homework, chargers, pens, water...

In Class ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Listen and pay attention. You can save yourself a lot of trouble by simply paying attention, trust me.

Take notes. My favourite note-taking method is the Cornell method; I can make a separate post on that!! <3

"Quick notes." If you struggle with note-taking, try taking quick and messy notes. You can clean them up once you get home!!

Engage. If you have any questions or don't understand something, make sure to ask!! Most teachers really appreciate students who speak up. :)

No distractions. Turn off your phone, no chatting, you'll be glad...

After class ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Finish your assignments as soon as you can. Go home, put on a cosy outfit, have a snack, and get working!! <3

Prepare flash cards. A great way of reviewing your notes, too... :)

Update your Study schedule. Write down any assignment and due dates, reading you must do, upcoming tests, etc...

Clean up your notes. Review them, highlight the important parts, and maybe even make them look cute!! :)

Don't avoid topics/Subjects you dislike. I know it is tempting, but you can't avoid them forever, so you might as well get them done

Structure and routine ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Goals and Priorities. Keep them realistic and manageable.

Time management. Having a set schedule makes studying less overwhelming; it takes some discipline but is so worth it!! <3

Develop a routine. Figure out what works best for you; I prefer studying in the morning or at night.

No "zero days". Even if you can only do a bit, do it!! NO. ZERO. DAYS.

Remember your goals. Dreams will keep you motivated; remind yourself of what you're working for!! <3

Self-care and balance ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Don't forget about your hobbies. You need to do things that make you happy, so make time for those things!!

Maintain a balanced diet. I know chocolates and junk are tempting, especially when you are busy studying all day, but you're not doing yourself any favours.

Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. 8 Hours. Non-negotiable.

Exercise regularly. Even if it's just a walk, put on some headphones, listen to music, and give yourself a break. <3

Care for your social life. Reach out to your friends, make plans, and keep in touch; a good work-life balance is critical!!

Romanticising ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Study dates. Meet up with your friends at a cosy cafe, discuss your work, and have some fun!! Studying doesn't have to be all serious all the time ;)

Silly Pinterest boards. Visualising your goals will help you find motivation!!

Music to set the mood. I have a bunch of playlists on my Spotify that might help!! <3

Cosy sweater and candles. The cosy Rory Gilmore vibes haha...

Getting a coffee before class. A little treat before things get serious... Simple pleasures, you know? :)

Babes, The hiatus is OVER, and I'm finally back!! I got a lot of asks on studying, burnout, and school in general, so I thought, why not start off with a little student guide?? I Hope October has been kind to you, and school hasn't been too overwhelming (though I know it, unfortunately, has been for many of you), and I'm glad to finally be back!! <33

As always, Please feel free to add your own suggestions and tips in the comments!!

✩‧₊*:・love ya ･:*₊‧✩

[waughymommy]

Diaper Discipline Guide

Emma & Henry

My boyfriend of 4 years has always had regressive and sub tendencies while I’ve wanted to talk more control in our relationship. We tried several bdsm activities including smacking and bondage but the occasional nature wasn’t really doing it for me.

After finding out more online about Female Led Relationships I came across DD, initially dismissing it. But the more I read, the better and better the idea appealed to me. After some planning I decided to confront my partner and say I wanted to add an element of control and domination into our relationship, by saying I hadn’t decided how to do it yet we had a long discussion without diapers being mentioned where he agreed in principle to “lifestyle dominance” as long as it could be kept between them and not impact his job, friends, etc. 

This guide was invaluable to me to plan the rest and it solidified my decision. It took me two weeks to discreetly buy the required supplies, getting them delivered to our apartment on days he was at work. I decided that I wanted a high initial level of DD where he’d be in diapers 24/7 at home.

I decided to start on a Friday night after work. He’d known that I had been preparing for something and I started the conversation by saying my proposal was weird, reassuring him that it wouldn’t be painful/harmful and nobody else would find out but you wanted him to agree to try it for at least 6 weeks.

Although nervous he also seemed excited by the prospect and agreed. We moved to the bedroom where I told him to get undressed before I diapered him for the first time. There was a lot of objections at this stage but I talked him round and the agreement to try it for 6 weeks was helpful.

To make the shock less I started with a medical diaper which wasn’t too thick and let him wear his normal pjs over it. I left him to explore it on his own while going to make dinner. After dinner it was time to tell him all the rules, the main one was that the toilet at home was now banned and he’d be in diapers whenever he’s at home. I kept the baby elements to a minimum and said he’s have to also wear out the house sometimes but I’d make sure nobody could tell and never when he’s at work or with friends/family. I’m not going to lie and say this didn’t involve an argument, especially when he realised that no toilet meant #2 as well but we got through. We ended up watching a movie which was a good way for him to calm down.

He wet his diaper for the first time after the movie which was funny to watch as he was so nervous it was going to leak everywhere. Even though it wasn’t too wet I did change him straight away and made his change extra special too. That night he slept in a diaper for the first time.

Over the first weekend he did get more used to wearing and I allowed him to use the toilet for a bm on Saturday. Sunday however I decided to fully enforce the rules and he messed himself for the first time. I didn’t change him this time and he took a shower. There was a lot of protests again but I said it was none-negotiable. The smell did seem to be the biggest thing that bothered him so I bought some Devrom tablets which had been recommended, it took a few days for them to arrive and a few more of taking them but now his messy diapers hardly smell and the protests have stopped. I’d actually recommend you use these from day 1 to make the transition easier.

The first week was tough but we got through it and I’m happy to say we’re now 7 months in to him being in DD. Over that time I’ve moved to thicker abdl diapers, he wears onesies regularly around the house and the toilet has remained unused by him with only a few exceptions.

We both work mainly from home so I’ve gotten used to checking and changing his diaper but thick diapers + devrom has meant he generally only needs a change after waking up, sometime in the early afternoon and before bed. I’ll also let him change himself if I’m busy or cba. 

The best news is after an initial rocky patch, our relationship feels stronger than ever! He proposed to me 5 months in and I can’t see his DD ending any time soon. I’ve increased elements overtime and now the toilet is banned even when out of the house together. Public wearing did take him a while to get used to but actually it’s easy. 

I’m sure DD is not for everyone and is much more involved and hard work than other lifestyle changes but for creating a caring bond between you and your partner I’ve found it to be great!

[burntheedges]

Fandom resources intro & explainer (with a bit of history)

Hi! So I’ve been reading fic for like… 25 years (I’m 37). I’ve been around for a lot and seen a lot, but I only started writing last year, and I remember what it was like to feel like I wasn’t really involved in fandom in the past. Even though I was reading fic constantly and I wanted to be involved. And I remember the feeling of being new to something and not having any idea what people are talking about. So, I figured I’d share some resources. (If this helps just one person I will be happy.) Below you'll find more on how to figure out what people are talking about and some ideas for engaging actively with fandom. (Also, I'm not an expert, I'm just good at research.)

Fanlore, or how to figure out what the heck people are talking about

Have you ever been reading a post on tumblr and thought, ok, everyone seems to know what this thing is but I don’t? Maybe it’s “strikethrough,” maybe it’s a reference to the founding of ao3 (by fans), maybe it’s the ball pit. Well, I have a website for you: fanlore.org

Note: this is not to say that I think we should all necessarily be using the same slang from 20 years ago, or that everyone needs to be an expert on fandom history. I just know and remember the feeling of being left out because I didn't know what people were talking about, and I love to look things up. So this is how I do that. and similar to wikipedia, it's a great starting point for research... and then maybe you'll find a thread you want to tug on a bit more.

Fanlore is the wiki for fandom, in both a general and specific sense. It’s got pages on fandom history and slang and tropes and everything else. Here are some pages that may be of interest to get you started:

Strikethrough, or what happened to livejournal? And while we’re on the subject, why is everyone so nostalgic for LJ anyway?

What's the deal with the fanfiction.net purge?

The founding of ao3 (and see the "no direct advertising" section for more on why you can't talk about commissions or sales on ao3, and the section on racism for an overview of various discussions with links to more)

What’s a lemon?

A list of tropes, fun to explore

YKINMKATO (or, kink tomato)

What's the ball pit?

What’s up with people using the word slash?

A big list of fandom slang in the fandom glossary

What's a fandom challenge?

And they have a new visitor portal! and more!

Fandom and all the ways we engage with it

Something I often wondered as a fan before I started writing was, what is my role here? How do I engage with fandom? What do fans do if they don’t write or make art?

So I thought I’d make a list! I love lists. And maybe you’ll see something in my list that speaks to you and makes you feel like you have something for you where you didn’t before. That would make me so happy. Fanlore also has a whole category page for fan activities which is way more exhaustive than my list!

Writing (fic, poetry, meta, and more)

Making art - fanart, gifs, memes, so much more

Recording podfics

Making podcasts

Organizing fic archives/libraries/fic rec pages or tumblr accounts (the hours I spent exploring the Sterek library account, y’all...)

Creating and organizing character or media archives (think of all the possibilities - outfit compendiums, dialogue arhives, etc.)

Making fic rec lists (around themes, authors, etc.) and sharing them

Making playlists (around themes, fandoms, characters, relationships, more!) and sharing them - also called fanmixes

Making fanvids (videos) and sharing them

Contributing to a wiki

Cosplay

Crafts - knitting, crocheting, sewing, woodworking, and more!

Commenting and contributing to discussions

Creating and sharing polls

Interviewing fellow fans

Fan surveys

Creating moodboards and/or collages

Liveblogging as you watch or rewatch new episodes or movies (make sure to tag it)

Sending asks and comments

Leaving kudos and comments (on ao3) and commenting/reblogging (on tumblr)

Hosting viewing parties

Running fandom events (or helping with them), like challenges

Bookbinding (not for profit)

Making zines

How do I get started?

In my experience, when people say their inboxes are open, they mostly mean it. If you see someone who makes art you love, tell them you love it and ask them how they got started. Ask them what tools they use! If you see someone making amazing gifs, tell them you love them and ask for tips or resources. And share their work!

Fanlore also has resources, so the links and ideas are out there. And reaching out to someone on tumblr is often the easiest way in. Send an ask, write a comment, reblog with a comment. Explore the tags for your fandom. Tell someone you loved something or ask them a question. And on that topic, consider my asks and messages open if you want to chat! Or talk about any of this! Or share your ideas for more ways to do fandom!

Talking to people can be scary, I know, but just remember that we all have something in common - we're waaaaaaaay too into something (or a lot of things) and would love to talk about it. We're dying to talk about it. Please talk about it with us. And that is a foundation we can build on! Even if it’s just in comments or in reblogs or in tags - we love comments and reblogs and tags.

If talking to someone doesn’t go anywhere, that’s ok. Like in non-tumblr life, we all get along with some people more than others. We all have different types of connections all across this platform, some closer than others. Sometimes people are busy or life is happening or they just can’t engage right then. Sometimes you won’t click with someone. That’s all ok! Reaching out gets easier with practice.

If you do make or share something, tag it! Use fandom tags and broader tumblr tags (e.g., 'podfic') to help people find it.

I love fandom, and I always have, even when I was the lurkiest of lurkers. So I hope this helps. 🧡 My inbox, as I said, is open.

[solbaby7]

Killing Me Softly

pairing: cassian x reader

[ part 2 ]

warnings: swearing, violence, blood, jealous themes, angst

summary: [based off that episode in greys were Mer got beaten by that patient who didn’t remember anything when they woke up]

—

It had started out as a normal fight.

Something small and fixable.

But somewhere along the way, things had snowballed and the playful Cassian you’d always known had disappeared before your very eyes. “You have a responsibility,” His tone is firm; slightly condescending and you can feel the attitude beginning to form when his arms cross over his chest. Cassian shoulders squared out, spine straight and wings pulled taut as he stood his ground. “The answer is no.”

“Cass, you’re not even listening. I told you I had this planned a week ago,” It comes out rushed, brows furrowed as you tried to meet something else besides that hard wall behind hazel eyes. “Besides it’s the med wing, they always have volunteers coming in to help—it’s just one date.”

“This really isn’t up for discussion,” His steely exterior nearly crumbles to pieces when he sees the way you visibly deflate, fingers grazing over the pretty dress you’d spent three days searching for with Mor and Cass had to pretend to be thrilled when you came barreling through his bedroom door with it in hand. You were beaming, smile so wide he thought your cheeks would split in two. “Now, go get changed.”

Guilt bubbles in his belly at the sight of you, jaw clenched tight and eyes blinking furiously to push back the frustrated tears; you had been really excited. You say nothing when you breeze past him, making sure not to touch him or make eye contact when you disappear back where you came and Cass doesn’t even need to turn around to know the way Azriel is looking at him. “Thought you said the med-wing was fully staffed? Easy day, you said.”

“Don’t even start.”

“It was just one date, she bought a dress and everything.” Az doesn’t buckle at the remorse that begins to scrunch at hard features, hands that clench and unclench at his sides as Cass battled a war that didn’t take prisoners. “If you won’t act on your feelings for her then leave her be so she can be happy.”

“Seriously, mind your fucking business.” Cassian all but snarls, golden eyes like burning lava when regarding his brother; the words hitting much harder than and punch. “She had a job to do and she’ll be here doing it. We don’t have time for stupid dresses and dates when people are dying.”

You don’t speak when you re-emerge in something more sturdy, medical equipment neatly organized in a bag that you held loosely in one hand. A whole folder of papers had been shoved in your grasp from a brooding General, inky hair flying away from his face when the wind cut through on his speedy departure. Frustration builds but you don’t allow it to overcome you, ignoring Azriel’s inquisitive stare, arms crossed over his chest and thick leathers hugging muscular thighs. “You okay?”

You sigh, gesturing to the stack of papers while you begin down the hall. “I’m busy.”

Times flows significantly slower now that you’re aware you’re missing something of importance; you’d really been looking forward to dressing up. Taking special time on your hair and the dark kohl that Mor insisted would make your eyes pop. The bittersweet daydream of what could’ve been is interrupted by the ruffled patient, his body covered in a serious of wrappings and notes near his side table on the tonics he’d been given—heavy duty sedatives and even stronger pain alleviants. Dosages so high there was no was he should’ve been moving, eyes blinking into consciousness and slurred speech stumbling from his tongue. “Where am I?”

“Sir, it’s okay just relax. I’m only here to help.”

“I shouldn’t be here,” Your hands are gentle when they reach out for him in attempts to soothe but it only makes him more agitated, arms whipping around wildly and his volume steadily increases. “Who are you? Why am I here?”

“Sir, please. If you just calm down I can explain—you were hurt, I’m only here to help.”

Rational thought and logic make no home in the frantic patients mind, his terrifyingly sturdy grip latches onto your shoulder. You’re jostled in close, bandages and antiseptic falling from your grasp and you only have time for one sharp yelp before his hands are wrapped around your neck. It takes alarmingly little effort for him to get to his feet, slamming your form down on the cot he’d been recovering in for days. Broken noises pull from your throat, nails scratching at his arms and face and whatever skin you can get your hands on, punching and kicking and reaching for anything to help and just as a black spots line your vision you finally get a good kick in, enough to push you from his hands and your body tumbles to the floor with a thud.

Deep heaving breaths pull from you, sucking in as much oxygen as your lungs will allow and tears you didn’t even realize you’d let out are streaming down the curve of your cheeks as you struggle to gain your footing, to get out of the room but hands are back around your arms. A broken cry fills the air when your face is shoved into the wall, heavy weight pushing you over and over until blood pooled from your temple and choked noises caught in your throat.

You can’t even remember when it stopped, a darkness overtaking you but even that’s abruptly ripped away from you for what feels like just seconds later. Someone screaming, strangled, pain filled shouts when you feel a set of hands on your body, lifting you from the floor and setting you on a cool table. “She’s awake,” You hear Madja firmly speak, hands quick yet sturdy when reaching into her bag to pull out medical grade scissors. “Anyone not necessary needs to leave.”

“She’s family, we aren’t leaving her.” Azriel retorts even stronger, leaving no room for discussion and you can feel the warmth of his hands on your own when he looks down at you. “You’re going to be okay, we’re here. We’re all here.”

You can’t even form words, eyes watery and panicked when darting between both of his own and the grip you have on his fingers when the healer pressed down on your abdomen is enough to have him barking at her for pain relief. “I can’t just give her things without a full assessment.”

“Assess faster—she’s in too much pain.”

Everything goes in one ear and out the other; you keep trying to speak, to beg them to please stop poking there and prodding at that bruise and asking if it hurt there, because it hurt everywhere. Broken whines pull from your throat, chest heaving and limbs trembling so hard the table shook. “I can feel three—no four broken ribs, collarbone fracture on the right side, shoulders dislocated on the right as well.” Madja begins, voice almost void of any emotion as she drifts from a person to a woman in charge. The High Lord in standing near your head, murmuring encouraging words while soaking in the information, a grim expression shared between him and the shadowsinger. “Damage to the brain is possible with such intense trauma to her head; two males had to physically pull the patient off of her.”

“Why would he even do this?” Rhys takes the warm cloth handed to him and gently begins to drag it over your forehead, trying his best to comfort you through the agony. “She’s harmless—she wouldn’t have hurt a fly.”

“It was the first time he’d been lucid since we’d found him; he doesn’t even remember what happened.”

Half a dozen more healers filter in the room with handfuls of equipment, eyes filled with worry when regarding one of their own but they quickly shake it off and step into line to assist. Azriel snarls at Madja’s words, stomach clenching in disdain at the helpless groans you let out, head lolling from side to side, tears treading trails into your hair as the pain overwhelms you.

Madja skims a knuckle over your jaw on accident when accessing the harsh bruising at your throat and the yelp that pulls is absolutely devastating. “Grab the restraints and hold her down,” The healer commands to the others, insisting they wrap them tighter while ignoring the deep shouts of the two males guarding you like their lives depended on it. “Her jaw is broken,” A heavy sigh pulls from Madja, dark hair tightly braided behind her shoulders. “—I have to set it and it won’t be fun so help me or get out of the room so we can do our jobs.”

Rhysand’s fingers are running through your hair, Azriel’s thumb rubbing soothing circles along the back of your hands and you feel the exact moment they both go stiff, heads turning to face the towering figure that stuttered to a stop in the doorway. “I’ll hold her arms,” The shadowsinger holds your arms with a firmness you hadn’t experienced from him before, soft apologies being whispered into your ears when your heart rate surges. “Cass, hold her legs. She needs to be still.”

The General doesn’t move, eyes wide and mouth hung open when he takes in your form. The clothes that were cut from your body, the countless amounts of thick gauze and medical towels soaked with your blood pooling in piles on the floor. Warbled streaks of crimson red is a stark contrast against the white floors; the smeared print of ten fingers and two palms drag along the wall, the small side table and the around door handle—you’d just nearly gotten away. “Cassian,” Azriel snaps, the rough tone ripping him from his trance. “Hold down her legs, now.”

The shock doesn’t wear off even if he does do as he’s told, golden eyes stuck on every bruise, ears painfully attuned to every whimper, every cry and gut-wrenching scream when your jaw was forced open, the bone shifting with a deafening crunch. “Please, please, please.” You barely get the words out; speech slurred, sweat lacing your forehead, body shaking so hard from the pain you couldn’t tell what was up from down. “Please, make it stop. Please, I’ll do anything—please stop.”

“Give her something!” Rhys snapped, wiping away tears and bracing you from moving around too much.

Madja scoffs, outnumbered and overwhelmed she calls for a tonic, allowing a higher dose than normal and your relief is instant. Deep cries fade to drawn out whimpers before your whole form goes eerily limp. “This will not be an easy recovery; if you think that was bad, just wait.” Quick hands make work of setting your shoulder with a sharp jolt and another healer is wrapping it in thick bandages to keep it in place. “Why was she even in here? The form specifically stated that supervision was required for this patient—she shouldn’t have been alone.”

“She shouldn’t have been here at all,” One of the healers muttered under her breath, hands quick and careful when tucking your hair behind your ear and dabbing your face clean of the blood that had started drying. “—she had a date today. I took this shift for her so she could go. She’s been talking about it all week.”

A silence fills the room and Rhys follows the sharp stare Azriel had trained on the General who’d been stuck in place at your feet. His hands shake where they rest near your calves, gaze seemly stuck on the socks you wore, fabric torn and stained in your own blood and he can just picture how hard you’d struggled trying to escape. Cassian says nothing, not when the others seem to catch on; putting together a piece of the puzzle in his silence—the shock that settles in every pore and the guilt that radiated from his burly form.

He only watches as they collect the soiled gauze off the floor, antiseptic filling the space when they begin to scrub your handprints off the wall, sweeping up the drywall that gave way from the pure strength put into smashing your body to pieces. “Four broken ribs,” Azriel’s voice is unnervingly calm when the last of the healers filter out, the door shutting behind with a soft click. “—a fractured collarbone; she was thrown into the wall so hard her shoulder popped out of socket.” Rhys takes a step forward, a hand raised to stop the shadowsinger but he’s sharply cut off, Az’s tone getting just a bit deeper when he stalks towards Cassian like predators did their prey. “He nearly shattered her skull—she’d be dead if it weren’t for one of the other patients. They heard her scream and found me.” Inky shadows slink around Azriel’s shoulders, but it’s the hand that pushes Cassian a step away from you that finally gains his attention.

“Azriel—“ Rhysand begins to intercept but abruptly pauses when the spymaster continues, fingers pointed at the leader of the Night Courts armies.

“You made her stay today because you were jealous.”

The High Lord goes still, violet eyes sliding from one friend to the other. “What?”

“She had a date and Cass was jealous because he has feelings for her and is too afraid to say anything.” Azriel can’t seem to stop once he’s started; such pure rage burning beneath his skin at the selfishness that resulted in such unimaginable pain.

“You think any of that matters right now?” Cassian doesn’t even sound like himself; no booming voice or need to make his point, no logical facts and carefully thought out points. He can’t even stop looking at you, eyes glassy and shoulders slumped when remembering what you’d looked like just two hours earlier. “I thought I didn’t deserve her before but now—after this? I know I don’t.”