#but i am now and im in a Gay City and I have no one to go to the bars and bitch about people with

[samwisefamgee]

everyday I join lethal company lobby to Just Vibe and am sent Multiple Friend Request

[krak-house]

I just finished watching Cucumber (for Con obviously) and A. Con's character Cliff is fucking hilarious and I love him but more importantly 2. I'm officially an old fag at heart bc the extent to which I related to 90% of the shit those old queens were spouting was,,,,eye-opening

[transqueer4singlemoms]

Kim Kitsuragi: "You know detective, you look really good in those shoes." He takes a drag from his cigarette and looks down, quickly looking back up

[Composure-Legendary: Failure] He said you looked...really good?

You: Sweat starts to form at the peak of your forehead and you don't know why. Your heart beats faster. Blood rushes your face making you red as a beatroot. He just complimented you. Why is that compliment different from the thousand others you've gotten? Maybe...

[Inland Empire-Medium: Success] Maybe because you like him

[Logic-Challenging: Failure] Wait...but I like women? How can I like men too?

[Encyclopedia-Easy: Success] You could be bisexual. Bisexuality is a sexual orientation that means you like both men AND women. Many people are bisexual, maybe not here exactly, but possibly across different areas of Revachol and the world.

[Shivers-Challenging: Success] Down an alleyway in the farthest reaches of Boogie Street, there is an underground bar. A man in tight colorful clothes is inside, approaches a woman sitting at the bar drunkenly flirting. In an apartment in the east side of Jamrock an old woman sits quietly in her living room listening to classical music over the radio. Below the ground, a hefty Semenine man clears out garbage in the sewers. He wipes his rugged forehead to clear the sweat on it. For some reason, you connect with all these people on a deep spiritual level.

Inland Empire: Because you're probably this *bisexual* thing.

You: How could I like Kim? He's just a friend.

You: What do you mean just a friend? Think about everything you've done together, how impressed you made him with your detective skills. After just one week you've gone from connected strangers to close friends. For fucks sake, he saved your life and you saved his.

[Empathy-Challenging: Success] All the times you were there for him. All the times you made him laugh, made him smile, bonded over solving puzzles in the case. He had a look in his eye, something only a man who loves can have.

[Psychical Instruments-Easy: Success] How his face gets red when you look at him too long. How your heart beat gets high when he brushes his hand against yours. How you think about him at night while you stare at the ceiling.

You: He did mention he was gay. Maybe this could be the best time to tell him how you feel?

[Volition-Medium: Success] Do not do that. It would 100% ruin what you have. Just sit and enjoy the view. Not every thought in your head is something you have to say.

Horrific Neck Tie: Yes! You should tell him you love him! You can say it now because Im not your head! Very clever, aye "bratan"?

1. [Composure-Heroic] "Hey thanks." Play it off (cool style)

2. "Kim I think I'm bisexual"

3. "I've gotta say, I have a feeling that compliment totally made me reconsider who I am"

3. "So Kim, how do you feel about dating alcoholic cops with no future?"

4. Stare at him for a bit and awkwardly look away towards the city

5. [Savoir Faire-Legendary] Try to escape the topic by telling a joke

[solar-sunnyside-up]

hey, something i've been struggling with recently is i've been struggling with "finding my people" because i'm a minority in my hometown, and a lot of people... aren't. they don't understand me, and often when i try to get them to understand they seem like they fall back into the old systems they were traumatized with (elitism, classism ect.,). 1/2 -solidarity anon

Im gunna say this at the top, this is so rough and im so sorry you gotta go through this sweetie. We are so isolated and filtered into categories within our current system in order to keep that isolation and to fight solidarity and unity. Now I cannot know for 100% sure what your going through or the extend your suffering. But will say I am from and currently still live in a oil loving, god fearing, anti-LGBT, and very racist city while i was raised wiccan by a poly core family and all my gay aunts/uncles and have been dreaming of an earthship my whole life plus every summer id be stuck in an even more harsh farming community that was so small they gotntheir first street light when i was 9 and the chruch is also town hall (mayor works in a wing off of the building). So there is at least some overlap in the experiences your having.

But that being said, how I got weirdly connected to people and involved in so many projects and stuff might not work for you.

Personally? I just yelled and yelled about the injustice of the system at work, about cool forestry projects and people buying ghost towns to start up Co-loving villages. Sharing discworld and different philosophers with coworkers backed up by their fave hobby. About how terrible the conservative politics are. About how cool transit could be if we funded it. About community art projects and how cool solar glass would make things look. About drags shows and events and did you know there is A SOUP FESTIVAL? I'm autistic and have only really interacted my whole childhood with friends with ADHD so my brain is weird and won't shut up once it starts going.

As a result of my ramblings, I have gotten a lot of responses mostly ones that are positive since if they didn't agree with my absurdist philosophy ramblings or solar project ideas they'd just leave the coffee shop. If they enjoyed it, say they want to join a community garden/event or if someone was as stoked as I was about again UNLIMITED TASTINGS SOUP FESTIVAL than we'd chat about that. The thing is a lot of these things have overlap. Someone who wants to convert their lawn into a pollinators habitate prob also likes little libraries and as a result prob also likes the idea of dark sky street lights. And down the rabbit hole you go.

That being said... my best actual advice is 2 pronged.

RESEARCH and REACH OUT

I personally have done years worth of research on my city. What local events and politics are happening? Even in rural places there is at least garderns, there's engineers, there's usually a LGBT focused club. And from these spaces, you can build a network. Doing research I found out about 5 different organizations in my city (most of which was founded 40 yrs ago??) That where sustainability focused. Doing research made me realize how cool community associations could be and how I could help mine out. It also gives you all those ideas for convos.

Second, I reached out to those groups about weird ideas I had, about if I could hang up posters for them in my local area, if I could buy groups worth of tickets in advance, and than also reaching out to the ppl I already talked to and had these ppl interact. My fave example of this is T. T is an engineer who built a fully functioning solar car during his degree program but specializes in hydroponics (how we ended up talking was over plants) he than gets shown my fave farm near by and now he's building the farms hydro system and Seedling house. Writing in to newsletter ppl and showing off weird layout design. This is ultimately very anxiety indusing. What if I'm bothering them? Why should I be spamming them like this? But the secret here is-

No one will ever be mad about you showing interest in their interest once you find those ppl. They want the interaction just as much as you do.

[brilliantfantasticgeronimo]

wild blue yonder

the tardis can regenerate itself...... !!! I mean, wait we knew that already kjhkjh but I just connected the dots now that... that means The Time Lords mined and mauled the child just to make their cars better, as well. Damn...

in classic who u used to have to use ur imagination to pretend everything wasn’t a wobbly set... now u have to use ur imagination to pretend everything isn’t a greenscreen :/

"is that who i am now?" the shocking thing isn’t that he is gay (that’s what donna interprets) the shock to himself is voicing how horny he is lol

Someone is gonna say gravity and that's gonna be fucking weird

"it would take trillion years to get that far” chills!

"no one is ever been this far. till us. and this ship" colonialism fiction dna shining thru

“you little streak” <3

"she'll move on" "not shaun, he'll go to that alleyway every year..." \ten at the alleyway to see rose parallel....

Ghost aroma!!!

blue and orange motif....…………… 13 aesthetic moments.... [13 and Swarm coded? / aka entropy/life coded?/donna and the doc...]

“maybe there's a tribe and they worship it… (…) time passes and the city falls... and there's the tardis" beautiful!! I'm could do somth w/ re: w/ the doctor and their companions. (eyes emoji)

"it got complicated" UNDERSTATEMENT OF A CENTURY #2

"The notion of shape is strange." "it limits" literally current architecture theory

This is so nofna solar system-core

love a classic “anti matter hates matter” story

[the no-bodies…?....cousins to the the could have been king ... with his army of never wheres…?]

This feels very [doctor trying to figure out their body in each regeneration] [intentionally?] this is so end of evangelion poster-core

"it’s strange enough my face coming back, but not this big" / [metaphor for reboots?]

This episode is like the clamoring for us to get a castrovalva 2 escher-like world again next season

"that's not gonna work either" i love these idiots

"why does it have to be one last trip?" rtd ringing moffat / gatiss / gardner / etc and being like like -

ok but follow this reasoning: if the doctor is the same person bc they keep their memories (as the show makes a point of.... constantly) ... and if the memories make the person ... then indeed an entity that copies the memories is the same person, is it not? Where do we draw the line between who’s “real” and who isn’t, in this scenario?

A CREATION I DEVASTATED / literally watched WoM two seconds before this w/ ten all "everything i do just makes it happen" sdjsdkf this is what i mean when i say the doctor has never Processed anythingggg since that Bottom Pit moment

"it wasn't your fault" "i know! (but it stil sucks!!!)" me at therapy like

"WHY DOES HE NEED YOU?" me, Pavlovian tone: because he is lonely...

“when something is gone, it keeps existing” → highlight this!!!! this is gonna be the new thesis statement about Grief!!! this is gonna be The Point for the next 4 years lol

It's very fun to watch this after marath6ning all of ten's era bc it's like... that boy never processed any of that shit. did 11 process shit? did 12? 12 maybe a little but really i think they just got even more trauma (bill ): ) dkdksks and don't get me started on 13. basically what im saying is the doctor Never did get a break on between waters of mars up until now... [and i guess to go further never did get a break after since like....... freaking ghost light skskskskkjkj seven is still There. we don't think about that enough.]

Donna being a clone fucker is not a headcanon ever thought i had but im glad its been confirmed now "donma doesn't think she"s stupid" im sure rtd has launched this exact same rant on so some unwilling family members while browsing ao3 "stop copying and make up your own minds" social commentary / commentary on reboots again / core "individualism > society" dr. who 101 messaging

The not things are kinda.... cute? skdksk if they weren't murderous they look like ppl to hang out w/ and play videogames......

"what do you want?" "you tell us" fundamental doctor-companion dialogue....

"love letters don't travel very far" put a pin on that...

ok.... ARGHGHGHH LET ME THINK THINK THINK skskks me failing at CBT be like

What if the doctor is from our universe. what then the doctor being like we have to mill ourselves immediately feels very 13

this is like "what if turn left and midnight but they go through it together this time <3" fic "where the walls are thin and anything is possible" eyes emoji

"that copy was 99% donna" so maybe re:earlier... what the show is saying between copy vs real is that it's all about the x factor, the 1%....

CONCLUSIONS! lived up to the hype! i think it's a bit 13-era vibe in that it's clearly influenced by all the prestige space-base-isolation scifi we see in the ~cinema now every year. the aesthetic is hitting that vibe (and going to the root, there's also a very clear Alien influence). kinda wish we had more one offs just like this one :( bc i feel the other 2 specials have too much Work to do, so there's not enough time to do.Fun like lore and character stuff. Execution wise is very successful. the switcheroos work. the callbacks work. there's a lot of character stuff happening ("I just realized I'm still working through that!") but it doesn't interfere w/ the adventure itself. My one grip is there's a couple shots that do feel too green-screen-y, but overall the ep is visually amazing. def only a story you could do now. also I love that the NMDs were like "rtd is gonna retcon the timeless child!!! everyone hated it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and he was like "cool. now watch this" lollll king moments. rare moments where it feels like we live in the best timeline.

[tokillamockingbird427]

yes !!! I had fun shopping thanks for asking :] I got craft stuff (i finally learned to sew & im gonna crochet the bag and sew in lining) and the cutest babydoll top ever im so blessed to have found it. I am normal and not in pain now

ur so right abt elias being mental illinois. I think he's one of those people that masked so hard that he hyperfixates on neurotypical/acceptable stuff. (rorke takes them all fishing and elias knows perhaps too much about these fish)

he always has a fun fact rolling around like a marble in his pea brain and everyone chocks it up to Dad Stuff but he's ND I fear.

i still think that he's like. not great abt certain things. i saw a someone interpret elias as homophobic and that made me personally angry but I do think his age and his social circles contribute to him being dense on certain topics. he's not maliciously a denier of mental illness he just doesn't understand bcs he's never been in an environment to do so. even when it's his own

-angel, that's my daily ask done time to go play subway surfers for 6 hours

Wooooo! Not woo for being in pain! But for the other stuff!!!

"mental illinois" He lives there.... city "Daniel"... many things not nerotypical about this man, beyond the PTSD. (Elias's special interest is fish; "Want fish, fear women/Women want me, fish fear me.")

No that's so me... 🤝 He's just constantly chucking barely related fun facts into the conversation and the handful of times the conversation has turned to ask him for fun facts he's been absolutely so delighted.

Elias in therapy 4k UltraHD IMAX surround sound.

I'm so sorry I'm laughing so had at Elias "I Didn't Know That Was an Option" Walker being so dense he doesn't realize being mentally ill or queer are options and also doesn't realize he is Both. Not malicious just incredibly stupid. He's like a dog. He doesn't understand those realities they're just concepts to him.

Okay but like; I genuinely don't think Elias wouldn't even realize in a more domestic au (Where no one fucking dies, *ahem* GABRIEL.) that he's gay in love and married to Rorke in everything but the legal way. He'd just be like "Nah, the boys went off to college and I had this big ole house and yk Rorke wanted to retire somewhere warm so now we live together and commit to domestic activates with each other because we're such good pals." and ykw Rorke wouldn't know either... Logan and Hesh come home for spring break and they're like "Oh, two dads now." and also don't realize Elias+Rorke don't know... Just a lot of "Not knowing jack about shit" in that family I think. No one asks questions they just accept shit. "This is happening." too relaxed I fear.

Fuck yeah, subway surfers. (Ur literally Logan)

[t0ast-ghost]

No clever opening for this one.. I feel like an Instagram post that says no caption. Episode 24 (A Taste Of Armageddon):

- Fox, despite being a nasty man, has an amazing face… I’d like to draw it perhaps

- Show ‘subtly’ drops in Scotty saying “Bonny”

- Goofy ass hats on those guards

- this guys number seems off… 500 years, trillions dying each year…

- “There is a certain logic to it.” “I’m glad you approve.” “I do not approve. I understand.”

- they’re gonna disintegrate

- https://youtube.com/shorts/m_nDsMt7njQ?si=Nk_i6qalsXbOuwiA

- McCoy worried about his boyfriends. Scott is not putting up with McCoy’s nonsense

- “for all personal to come ashore for shore leave. They’ve aSHORED me that we will have a wonderful time” no wonder they don’t think this is Kirk he would never

- I think this might be a he first time McCoy and Scott have truly interacted

- The scene switched SO FAST from Scotty and McCoy to Spock and Kirk I almost got whiplash

- wait why is Spock feeling up the door while Kirk watches? Ohhh he’s controlling the guard through the door, yeah makes sense.

- “Thank you, Mr Spock” “My pleasure, Captain”

- Hiding in plain sight works… again

- Spock strolls up so causally- I DIDNT EVEN GET TO THE BEST PART WHAT (20:40) “sir there is a multi legged creature on your shoulder” nerve pinches him on the shoulder IM WHEEZING

- he strolls back so casually as well

- McCoy gets paid to stand by, look pretty, fight with Spock, and raise his eyebrows

- McCoy not necessarily agreeing but still backing Scotty up against Fox

- Kirk got punched like a bitch

- did- did Spock mind control those guards? He can do that?

- “What are you doing, Mr Spock?” “Practicing a peculiar variety of diplomacy, Sir.” Blowing shit up

- Kirk’s hair just a little messed up <333

- “I’m a barbarian, and I intend to prove this to you.” Pop off Kirk? Get it? I guess..

- wow Kirk just really.. wow (threatening to kill an entire fucking planet)

- Uhura’s chair swivel when Scotty said they would destroy multiple cities

- (probably terribly paraphrased) “I thought you’d be in need of a rescue. It seems I was mistaken.” “No, I am in need of your assistance.” Or smt gay like that

- “I’m going to end it for you… One way or another.” Kirk sooo listens to Blondie

- Hiiii

- Once again Kirk is sitting in his chair surrounded by them all (closest is McCoy and Spock of course) all is right and he didn’t almost just kill trillions of people

- “Captain you almost make me believe in luck.” “Why, Mr. Spock… you almost make me believe in miracles.” WHAT. WHO SAYS THAT. TO ANOTHER. WITHOUT BEING COMPLETELY IN LOVE WITH THEM

On that frankly insane note I must now watch the next… see you then :)

Master post

[alwaysxyou]

I think what's extra frustrating about this whole situation is just the not knowing when or why of it. Like I know it can't go on forever but there have been so many times where it seems like we're getting somewhere (bye bye Elevator) and then bam something else hits us. I just hate it for louis

i said i wasnt going to respond to this right now but im fired up now and i am going to answer it. none of this is about coming out none of this is about larry none of it is about being gay even! it's does louis know he deserves better.

you don't want to draw attention to your actual relationship - why do you need to even speak about it? answer questions with that you'd like to keep your private life private and that's the end of it. "oh you used to be so open? yeah i was a lot younger and now ive grown up a bit and realized i want to keep it private" any one who pushes it is labeled as an asshole interviewer. publicist listening in to every single non-live on air interview and jumping in to skip questions if necessary. only do live interviews with anchors and hosts you trust and have agreed to keep it professional beforehand. get the best media training in the business and have every possible answer locked into your brain.

you don't want people to think you're gay - why not? nothing wrong with being gay. but in any case, see answer above about not wanting to talk about your personal life and then turn the answer back to the fans "im not/i don't like to talk about my personal life but what matters to me is the fans and im so honored to have fans from that community." next question

"well he needs the publicity" well he's not getting any now. the only publicity from that stunt walk was talking about how young she was, or how quickly he moved on from e. how about louis at a charity event? the gossip sites post pictures of louis with f or stories he tells but want to know what else they would post in the same way? pictures of louis with a dog. or a lizard. or a hamburger. or shirtless!

also! where is the doc promo! or tour promo! where is the exclusive with first look photos and interview with day of tickets coming out? where are the ticket specials in the cities where tour needs to be sold more (buy a tour ticket get a free movie ticket)? where are the merch bundles (buy a shirt get a movie ticket voucher)? or just merch in general? where are the radio spots and the billboards and the bus stop ads and the commercials and the social media? radio interviews in tour cities? they wouldn't do a press junket yet but! and if no one brought those up why isn't louis or his manager saying something and asking for those plans and those rollouts? and if they aren't getting those or know what to ask for why aren't they hiring people to figure out what's not working and make it happen?

you don't have to come out, you don't have to reveal your relationship, you don't have to even elude to anything. but you do deserve better treatment, better promo, a better image. privacy, kindness, fans, general population respect. what might have been the way people did it in 2013 isn't the same as 2023. but all of louis' rollouts are stuck there. once upon a time for an artist, the worst thing you could be was gay. and even if that's not the case anymore, if that's still where your head is okay. you don't have to come out. but you don't deserve to be doing this shit or putting yourself through this either.

he got out of sony, he got out of modest. he claims to be the boss so goddamn put your foot down and take a fucking stand. if there's lasting contracts or whatever get the best lawyer out there and fucking take back what you deserve. and don't fucking settle for anything less. someone on your team has an idea you don't like? too bad for them, you pay them, you make the ultimate decision. and if they don't let you or try to fuck you over, you hire someone else. and do that again and again until you get what you want. life is too freaking fucking short to not be putting yourself into the best possible situations wherever you can. louis deserves that.

[theygotlost]

the end of the watch 1.11: this is (not) discworld (episodes 7 and 8 double feature!)

sally shows up and accosts carrot in a bar restroom. no fucking joke she acts like one of those weird ageplay bitches on tik tok who do a disturbing little girl voice and pouty face. its literally fucking UNBEARABLE and i wanted to kill her so bad. btw she and death are the only characters with american accents.

vimes swaps bodies with Evil Vimes In Another Dimension, who's incarcerated in the tanty. he's thrown to "The Beast" for insubordination, which turns out to be Detritus

Detritus is apparently the "the best friend [vimes] ever had". they do a very heartfelt and slightly homoerotic forehead bump.

carrot and sybil are wardens of the tanty what i will refer to hereafter as the mirrorverse. mirrorverse carrot has a really scary middle part.

death asks carrot, angua, and cheery which one would be most likely to eat the others so he can "arrange his schedule". then he very shyly performs a 37 minute freestyle for them while playing the theremin.

in the mirrorverse carcer is captain of the watch after betraying vimes.

sybil somehow realizes vimes is an impostor when she kisses him. angua can also tell the impostor is sus by the type of aftershave he wears, which doesnt make sense bc they swapped minds and not physical bodies, so he would still be wearing the same aftershave???

this entire series has been building toward stopping the noble dragon but I genuinely forgot about the dragon because up to this point hasnt even been rampaging the city at all after the first episode? it just disappeared? and now its back?

vetinari locks himself in his "dungeon" which is actually a sick bachelor pad with sexy couches citing the line from gg that "you should never build a dungeon you would never want to stay in yourself". he chills out in a cunty red gown listening to jazz music. which tbh was pretty awesome

death asks to join vimes' emo band.

carcer stabs wonse for basically no reason.

throat dibbler is made head of the thieves guild.

carrot plans to lure the attention of the dragon bc he's a virgin and the dragon only attacks virgins. carrot has to learn to not be ashamed of his virginity like it's a gay coming-out narrative.

the matt berry talking sword requests to be worshipped as a "sex-ual deity"

im pretty sure angua they/thems cheery at some point but I might have just misheard her

in order to stop the dragon the watch puts on the best damn talent show ankh morpork has ever seen!!!! (they play in a rock band AGAIN.) cheery shreds the fuck out of the saxophone.

sybil intentionally sends goodboy out to seduce the dragon and it works.

carcer disintegrates from existence back to the future style and im still not sure why. the watch doesnt remember carcer and thinks wonse did all his crimes instead. as revenge wonse isekais vimes into an evil pocket dimension in what was likely meant to be a setup for a season 2 that will never happen.

and that's the show! many people have told me how brave i am for watching it and thanked me for my service but I want to be clear that i could NOT have done it on my own. this was a journey that @vampirejuno , @fealtyfaggot , and I embarked on TOGETHER. nico and ciarán deserve as much appreciation for their sacrifice as I do. ive also engaged in a lot of day drinking for this so sorry everypony please drink responsibly.

[majorasnightmare]

TotK AU Where I Shamelessly Indulge Myself In Consistent Worldbuilding and Lore That Makes Sense. And Also Ganondorf

im an autistic gay bitch and zeldas loosey goosey worldbuilding and magic drives me UP the fuckin WALLLLLL like GOD CMON can we get some fuckign CONSISTENCYYYYYY

im writing on mobile so like. idk how to do a readmore.

also totk spoilers

my biggest primary issues with totk are

a) the treatment of zelda

and

b) the treatment of ganondorf

as a villain ganondorf has no motives. he has ambitions, but without reason. he has goals, without ideals. WHY is ganondorf evil? his memory cutscenes are curt, and short, merely demonstrating the fact of his evil rather than provide any substance behind it. the dragon tears, and more specifically the geoglyphs, are massive decorative landmarks visible from the skies and detailing some representative element of the memory contained within. to get rid of them entirely would be to remove a massive amount of visual interest from the map. but as we see most clearly from the true final tear, the tears themselves are. small. and furthermore we are working with a massive period of time via the memories. like. an absurd amount of time. an unspecified and potentially limitless amount of time. we get memory cutscenes from non geoglyphs already. wh. why not MORE like. WHY.

how long was zelda in the past? how long did ganondorf feign fealty? these two questions determine how much time we have for potential character building interactions with the entirety of the past hyrule!cast!

why dont they talk? how come ganondorf never talks to anyone outside of Being Evil?

i havent even touched on zeldas primary role in the narrative is as Passive Observer and, SOMEHOW, botw giving her MORE agency as a princess locked in a malice cocoon than a game where she can move talk and walk the entire time.

so i figured. if i wanted to make an au to address these things, i might as well go all in right? might as well go Full Indulgence

my city now

more past! interactions between zelda and ganondorf

more exploration of ganondorf as gerudo king and why hes considered a hero of the gerudo

more rauru and ganondorf

more mineru and zelda

MORE BLATANT DISCUSSIONS OF IMPERIALISM. WHAT, PRAY TELL, ARE YOU PROTECTING THE GERUDO FROM MR *KING OF EVERYWHERE ELSE IN HYRULE*????

patch updates: dragon no longer operates as narrative fridge. gets fight cutscenes

patch update: ghirahim

not fridging sonia with a warlock punch to the back that somehow vaporizes her organs and gets her 3 stocked

patch updates: more ocarina of time references

PAYA CHARACTERIZATION.

semi consistent soft magic system

zonai Lore (read me being so autistic about them)

the crux of the matter. bringing demise back. and also playable zelda and playable ganondorf. i am SO normal about them i prommy (lying)

EPIC DIVORCE 42 INJURED 9 DEAD

yona (yona)

its legit too much to put in One Post but i have So Much for Basically Everything because im literally throwing au alterations at @villalunae as i play thru the game so like. i CAN and WILL elaborate on any and everything. idk how to structure posts or write teaser blurbs. literally just posting this so anyone and everyone who sees it and is interested i can talk their ear off too

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

I re-read my post about chapters 22-30 and I realized that theres so much I just fully forgot to mention, mostly relating to the inner circle so heres a quick summary of my thoughts about each ic member now that Im about halfway through the book and have spent some time with them. To briefly recap my previous thoughts, I think their group dynamic is insanely uncomfortable because of how apparent their hierarchy is and also none of them seem to actually like each other all that much

Amren

I dont dislike her in the sense that I dont dislike her personality or the basic concept of her character, but I do hate that shes in the inner circle at all. Like, whats this eldritch creature trapped in a body thats not her own doing hanging out with all these boring people ass people FOR 500 YEARS dude, if I had to spend 500 years with Rhysand I would destroy the entire night court regardless of whether or not I had Amren-levels of power. Like, why on earth would she be satisfied playing second fiddle to Rhysand and living in an APARTMENT in his stupid °•~City of Starlight~•° when shes supposed to be like a billion years old and a thousand times more powerful than him. I feel like itd be interesting to explore that but I know that we really dont from watching cari can read's summaries, so she just ends up being a character thats supposed to be interesting because shes so mysterious but is actually so shrouded in intrigue that it turns around and she just becomes boring again

Mor

When I first met her I said that something about her bothered me but I couldnt put my finger on what it was, but that I still kinda liked her because she atleast annoyed Rhysand. She really hasnt annoyed Rhys in any way since her and Feyres first meeting so I like her less because of that and also because shes mostly just boring to me at the moment. I think another reason why I dont particularly like her is that she feels so intrinsically tied to the misogyny of this world that just suddenly materialized in this book and its really annoying, I would like to avoid that subplot as much as possible. She basically just exists to give Feyre a female friend at the Night Court and to show her that you can totally girlboss your way out of a misogynistic system! But you cant dismantle the system because uhhhhhhhh. change is like a glacier because its slow

Also, shes obviously meant to parallel Ianthe, like shes supposed to be the better version of her, but I cant even imagine her and Feyre making out sloppy style toxic yuri edition so I cant really see her as any kind of improvement. sorry

Cassian

One of my least favourite character types is Fratbro But You Put Him In A Fantasy Setting so Im not the biggest fan of this guy ngl. The one redeeming quality he has is that hes very obviously crushing on all of his friends bisexual style, especially Rhys and Azriel. Its almost a little sad but mostly its just very funny. Like whyd you wanna take their clothes at the illyrian camps so badly huh? You like seeing pretty boys squirm around naked?

Unfortunately, I know that hes gonna end up with Nesta and that hes not even gonna treat her well, my guy is gonna go from being gay because he likes men to being gay because he hates women and I am not looking forward to it

Speaking of Nessian, a lot of sjm critical anti nessian people say that Nesta and Cassian used to be so good and so genuinely romantic in ACOWAR and that their relationship got completely ruined in ACOSF and. I mean, granted they dont ever talk about Cassian behaviour towards Nesta during the meeting at her house in ACOMAF but I hated the way he was just so angry at her on Feyre's behalf when she wasnt even that mad herself, she just felt weird and bad. Of course, I havent read ACOWAR yet and I might change my mind in the future but right now, I'll just say it doesnt surprise me that Cassian would laugh at Nesta falling down the stairs

Azriel

My favourite guy!!! Out of this bunch I mean. My favourite guy in the entire ACOTAR series is probably Lucien, but if we're just talking about the jokers from the Night Court, then this guy is my favorite

I really wasnt expecting much from him, I thought he would have absolutely no personality from what Ive heard other people say about him, but hes basically exactly what I want in an edgy traumatized shadow boi. Ive talked about this before but I really dislike Rhysand and part of that is that I normally really like the archetype of the tortured edgy love interest with shadow powers but he makes it so goddamn annoying by being so flirty and cocky I just want to see him dead. But Azriel is quiet so he doesnt bothr me and also theres some intrigue about his backstory and the extend of his powes but he feels like a solid enough character that he doesnt become boring to me like Amren

I will say though, theres something particularly uncomfortable about watching anyone from the inner circle interact with him and vice versa, I think its because he seems like he doesnt actually like them more than anything else. Ive said this in a previous post, I think Cassian wants to be in a relationship good friends with him and he seems to think they have some good sunshine guy/grumpy guy banter going on but to me it just seems like Azriel genuinely dislikes him. And then he obviously doesnt trust Amren and I feel like hes in love with Mor and has been for a really long time but doesnt actually like her, I honestly feel like hes just sticking by Rhysand because he feels like he owes him and because it gives him an excuse to be close to his crush

Yknow, that I think about it maybe thats why I like him so much. I dont like the Inner Circle, he doesnt like the Inner Circle, thats a relatable king right there

[candyredmusings]

“Another One Of Those ‘Things My Discord Said’ Sentence Starters.

Things taken from DMs and a few group chats from Discord. CW: NSFT Change / Edit as necessary !

i am literally tom cruise

cum is cool.

[NAME]  is fucked up cus he is straight man

[NAME]  show me your fuckin tits

[NAME], you better not be standing catatonic in your room wearing your handmade jigsaw robe again.

its like they creampied me but instead of cum it was new music

like what about my pussy-area makes u think sea cucumber

the mind is weak. but the body is funky

so im reading that fanfic where 1d like, buys your soul or whatever and im shook

well tom servo is a sex god

and then i freaked it

FUCK YOU APPLE JACK FUCK

ILL SLURP WITH YOU

LEMME SHOW U DICK

ITS A SIDE QUEST YOU SILLY BITCH

I’m a zombie the law can’t stop me

LEAVE YOUR GOLDEN UNCRUSTABLES OUT OF MY HOME I WILL NOT FALL VICTIM TO THY TRICKERY

you, telling me to ignore a twink with side swept brown hair? foolish.

Hes so hot i briefly started texting like a straight person

and because I’m god and I’ve decided that. No. In fact. I’m not done.

MY DUMB BOTTOM BRAIN FOLLOWS COMMANDS TOO WELL

[NAME], I know you love bloopy reggae jams. Now is not the time

OH THATS WHAT I THOUGHT YOUD SAY YOU STUPID ACCIDENTAL HIMBO DEMON

man i rlly am attracted to paul mccartney.

its not that kennedy was gay af sleeping w jackies fat ass out, he just has a better one-

jealous of my massive honkeers

YOU BRAINCELLED BITCH

this forced open my third eye and i saw the devil--

oh me seeming romantically interested in u is making u uncomfortable?? noted

the only pussy this party city shake out wig looking mother fucker is getting

[NAME]  expose your teeth right fucking now

IN THE DEPARTMENT OF OLD MAN FUCKING, WEVE GOT YOU BEAT

What if we kissed while one of us got called racist and we are both boys

i just jacked it to minecraft piss porn

I will pop a huge tentacle boner

i hate females fr fr

we left u to die to play minecraft

IM GONNA FRICKLE-FRACK YOUR WIFE

CAN I KARATE CHOP IT LIKE IN SPONGEBOB

DWIGHT FROM THE OFFICE IS NOT MY SKRUNKLY

she would never ever take away one of these stupid fucking hats

My brother in Christ you’re being haunted

i want to wring you like a wet towel and slap u against a wall

Yeah you'll come to learn I just have a thing for milk

Piss ur pants harder pls I wanna watch

I'm gonna corn on the kill myself

good morning to parappa and his stans. everyone else..... hi ig

lol look at this clown with no slurs

God has abandoned his children but unfortunately for you I pay child support and I will smite thee.

this is how I reveal myself to be homophobic

I have no sluts

idk what it is abt it but boba makes me become like an actual whore

im homophobic suddenly

he was like ‘You're so big”.... and i just started crying

anyones penis can be hard hes not special

for the love of god please help me

i can talk about piss for hours

im sorry i havent recognized mickey mouse clubhouse ost as the cultural landmark that it is

I ASKED IF WE WOULD RP AFTER FUCKING BIBLE STUDY OR WHATEVER

the benefits of being a yandere is that i dont have to forgive OR forget and I am a living breathing PVP zone so Fuck with me white boy.

When toxic by ashnikko comes on I enter the gaslight gatekeep phases of my girlbosshood

im like a child in line for the newest fucked up disney ride

[NAME] is just all fucking Sorts of fucked up

im clownfaking

why are we here? to suffer? every other day i get messages from a whore

always thinking abt when my friend called me a "white boy whore"

you gotta PUMP the errand girl with cocaine

im beyond shame bc i love all cock try again

people have fetishes.

They really do crucify anyone these days huh

u may have never hungered for cock but you have hungered for a sub sandwich and honestly? theyre basically the same thing-

hi im drawing hentai

[NAME] idk why but that really. makes me want to stab you

“Don't have sex FOMO, [NAME], no! “

“TRY AND NUKE THIS, BITCH.”

“There's a group of golden skeletons behind you hitting the griddy “

“GRANDPA’S ASHES SUCKED MY COCK AND TOOK ME TO ARBYS.”

“You’re lanky with no gender and silly goofy with the rizz it works.”

“You can’t just tell me I could be a Tumblr sexy man to my face at 4:30 PM.”

"I have strong opinions about the soviet union"

“CALL THAT PUSSY THE MATRIX CAUSE IM IN THIS BITCH AND I CANT GET OUT “

“dont cry. 8000 types of reptiles on the planet, okay?”

[NAME] lives his life like he’s an RPG character but picks only the rude dialogue options.”

“I need to beat off to this before God destroys California.”

"No amount of pussy could get me on a rollercoaster with three loops"

"I love your senior citizen pussy"

"Gerber is pretty reliable .. I mean .. The Gerber baby didn't die .... did it?"

“you are white i assume”

"I hate you terrorist, and you may quote me on that"

"I love watching you play minecraft. It's like watching a baby fawn."

"I've never seen old men who fuck harder."

"i don't need him to KILL i need him to FUCK ME"

"well maybe if you just dicked down your wife she wouldn't have gone on a murderous slut rampage"

"why cant these BIG titty bimbos stop HANGING around me"

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 3/21/2023

i didn't want to sit down and write this bc i was having too much fun playing viddy gaem

listening

IT'S QUICKER AND EASIER TO EAT YOUR YOUNG!!!

"i'm starving...darling,,," is very sexy but the way the lyrics slowly slide into something more and more horrifying until the chorus hits??? mwah. lovely.

my one critique is that this song is...breathy, for lack of a better word? does not showcase the man's magnificent pipes. oh well! there are other songs.

how'd i find this: im gay, also he is one of the most popular indie artists in the World. his first album went platinum six fucking times.

-

reading

i read all of frank miller's sin city bc im on a noir kick and i didn't have a good time. the closest i got to fun was (deadly little, always described as "deadly little") Miho, a mute japanese??? generic asian??? assassin who is tits out not in these panels but in almost all others, rollerblading around mowing down guys with her katana. that was a painful sentence to write.

i read a lot of genre fiction. i read a lot of older genre fiction. they are not written with me, a bisexual "woman", in mind. and that’s ok bc not everything has to be written with me in mind. rarely have i read something that is more For The Boys Only!!! than frank miller’s sin city. felt kind of gross and a little put off the whole time i read these and they made me a little bit upset and afraid of men in a way i have not felt since high school. now it does feel odd to go “i didn’t think this noir was very pleasant >:(“ but miller’s work feels unpleasant and distinct from, say, chandler or hammett in a way i am still having trouble articulating. it is possible that the misogyny in chandler is a flavor i already know and barely register the taste of anymore. it may be that i got tired of looking at miller's women with twelve-inch waists and nipples as full and perky as their mouths.

mostly i think the labor market in sin city is super fucked up. women in sin city exist to have their value extracted from them in a way that is different and worse than normal capitalism. like, i can see how someone would read these comics and go full SWERF. women are literal trophies, both arm candy and in a very upsetting trophy hunting way. especially in the final volume, women are machines of potential profit. aside from one landlady and one cop and one child who grows up to be a prostitute, all the women in this whole city seem to be prostitutes or prostitutes who have married up and out. like there aren’t really even any women on the street just walking or in diners. it’s all dudes.

this is probably a comics vs novels thing, but miller is often sadistic in a way that chandler is not. a guy dies on a page to make cool art. they fuckin mow through dozens of goons a volume. if a guy dies in chandler it’s usually bc chandler's philip marlowe has stumbled across a dead body accident and it becomes a tremendous pain in order to tip off the cops that a body needs retrieving without getting framed for the kill. marlowe (and by extension chandler) is a people person-- he is a detective bc he likes figuring out what makes people tick. he is alert and it's hard to get one over on him but his resting state is congenial. despite his job, he still does believe in the concept of justice.

sin city (more of a comment than a question) says "if people piss you off you should kill them." this is not to make light of the very real Situations that protagonists in sin city find themselves, but there are very few problem solving skills on display other than "apply dick" or "apply gun". VERY RARELY, "apply pussy". that last one almost never works out tho.

aside from All That, it does contain some of the best straight up art (not just comics art) ive ever seen. the command of light and shadow is incredible. the command of negative space is incredible. panels aren’t busy unless they’re showing the chaos of a scene. he doesn't draw every single brick bc that's not important to the scene. it’s really quite stunning.

also the MOVEMENT in this fringe is incredible. do u see what i mean about the nipples tho

-

watching

i gotta lotta fuckin bones to pick with the manda/lorian but they're all spoilery. this shit fucking sucks man. it's twenty fucking twenty three we have had well over a century to master storytelling through the art of the moving image.

all three eps so far have felt very weirdly edited-- like a lot of changes happened after filming and there wasn't enough time for pickups?? this is a gajillion dollar show just reshoot some shit on your little fake stage i am Begging you. at least bo-katan looked hot. god she's awful i love her

again again i say to ye, what if star wars was good? i am slightly terrified that andor may have ruined me for any s/tar wars that follows but by any metric these first three s3 mando eps are simply not good television.

-

playing

ty @pasta-pardner for gifting me Weird West some weeks ago bc it is the new thing i am obsessed with. this first trailer gives a better sense of the Vibes than the launch trailers imo

i find it is scratching a lot of the rpg itches that new vegas does: you wander around beautiful western settings running into weird shit, followed around by a hot butch you've recruited to your cause. unlike new vegas, it is a little less forgiving and you have to really scrap and loot everything that isn't nailed down.

this is a top-down action rpg with a weird little aiming system that is sort of a 3D twinstick? it takes some getting used to, and shooting is not the part of any game i am particularly good at. here's xbox wire's screenshot, which gives a good idea of how isometric it is and what enemy detection looks like. i do wish i could expand the minimap, bc some of the locations like mines or bigger towns can really sprawl.

i have one big annoyance bc it is a thing that made me take a break and sulk for a bit: as you're traveling across the map (not open world, location-based), you can run into Travel Encounters. you can decline to engage with some of them. you cannot save within or between the encounters unless you stop and make camp. if you're on a long journey to a different corner of the map, you might run into three Travel Encounters. if you die on the third, you are catapulted back to your starting point. this is tremendously annoying in the early game, so either take short trips or get good at about-facing and exiting areas quickly.

a writer i admire likes games that let him tell stories about what happened in the game to other people-- this is a game that very much facilitates that. i was ambushed during a Travel Encounter by the some outlaws, bc i accidentally let one escape while i was trying to collect a bounty on his boss, and that specific named grunt came back with a Vendetta. but! i met a dying outlaw from the band who kidnapped my character's husband in a different second encounter, swapped some bandages for a treasure map, and he is now a Friend for Life. so he showed back up to help me during that ambush AGAINST FELLOW OUTLAWS WHO SEEM TO HAVE SOME SORT OF MEMORANDUM OF UNDERSTANDING??? mWAH. DELICIOUS. LOVE SYSTEMS INTEROPERATING.

ive put like six hours into this, and it has five chapters with five different characters. i have not progressed past the first chapter bc i am having so much fun poking around. i am so so so grateful that the first character is a wife seeking revenge and not the other way around. ppl are throwing big baby tantrums in the steam forums about this but you know what? some husbands should be macguffins sometimes. widens their perspective.

i am fascinated by the drips and drabs of lore this game is feeding me. there's an order of witches with huge underground temples that (crucially!) they did not build, but have adopted for their own uses without really understanding who built them and why. i want to know so much more about their whole shit. there are werewolves but idk what their deal is bc i haven't met any yet.

i am a simple woman! i only demand perfect cowboy western-flavored rpgs and so far this is holding up. i will have more thoughts as i go along but goddamn is it fun to play. we truly do love a competent little rpg with interesting lore and good stealth mechanics that lets you loot everything in sight.

-

making

mostly fallow week, wrists hurty

made this tuna-chickpea salad for lunch. it is quite rich for a lunch. there are a lot of components that may be challenging to digest all together for a milennial with tummy troubles.

this would have definitely been improved by solid instead of cheap chunk tuna (or salmon. this would be great with canned salmon) and if i actually chopped the baby spinach instead of going "it's fine" and flinging it all in. or maybe wilting the spinach, but that's a lot of extra work and this would be a very warm, wet salad :/ the point is the chickpeas really want to sink to the bottom. i like that there is no cooking involved, only assembling, but realistically i have only half of these ingredients in my house at any given time. screengrabs from the site bc i paid a dollar but there's no reason you have to

[suchagallabitch]

💃🏻Weekly Wednesday Tag🕺🏻

let’s please ignore that i’ve missed the last several of these please !! i have been going through it 😍

anyway! was tagged my the wickedly talent, one and onlys, @mybrainismelted @deedala @sam-loves-seb (😙😙😙😙)

Name: elle, elle, bo-belle Banana-fana fo-felle Fee-fi-mo-melle ellie!

Location: the city thats exciting the city that’s inviting the city for a woman just like me??

We'll start with some easy ones! Is there a celebrity you think you look like? If so, who: I was told my ENTIRE preteenhood that i look like rowan blanchard. which to be fair was true we were like identical at one point but now i think we dont really look alike. idk?

Do you still have stuffed animals in your bed? I dont ☹️ in not a big stuffed animal person. I know i have a stuffed garfield somewhere in my room tho.

Who is your celebrity crush? forever and always Diana Agron. Also admitting Jessica Lange. Honestly any blonde has be gulping and acting a fool ✊😔

Have you ever accidentally sent a naughty message to the wrong person? No and i would like to keep it that way.

Have you ever snorted your drink out your nose on a date? i love that this is specifically on a date lol. But i haven’t in general but i have like full on spit out a mouth full of my drink laughing multiple times

Have you ever peed in a public pool? I mean probably? when i was a little kid? not in recent years but who am i to deny the piss allegations?

And we will close it out with some Shameless

Characters Bang/Marry/Kill:

lan/Mickey/Kev: Ok this is gonna be controversial but mind you i am a lesbian and i dont want to fuck any of these men. I’m gonna fuck Kev, Marry Ian and kill Mickey. I KNOW I KNOW THIS IS TREASON. IM SO SORRY MICKEY BUT I REALLY DONT WANNA FUCK YOU AND IAN AND I COULD BE ICONIC GAY BIPOLAR BUDDIES TOGETHER 😭. If Kev had long hair i can also close my eyes and pretend he’s a woman :/

Fiona/V/Svetlana: this is actually sophie’s choice. Im gonna bang svet, marry v and kill fi. like I love you fiona but i dont thini i could stand her enough to be married. and like im gonna have to fuck svet have you seen her??

Frank/Kermit/Tommy: there is actually no right answer here. like kat please go to jail. sigh. I guess if i have to im gonna kill Tommy, marry Kermit and fuck frank 😟

Karen/Mandy/Sandy: immediately kill Karen. Bang mandy, marry the actual love of my life ms sandy milkovich 😍

Jimmy/Sean/Gus: um. fuck jimmy, kill sean, marry gus. honestly i could treat gus better than fiona granted thats not saying much but still.

Thanks for coming to my sleepover! Hope you had fun, we are having banana pancakes for breakfast.

fuck yeah i’ll bring the coffee!!

I tag: @too-schoolforcool @transmickey @purplemagpie @michellemisfit @darlingian @xninetiestrendx @gallawitchxx @thisdivorce @y0itsbri @juliakayyy @auds-and-evens @arrowflier @scarcrosseduntouched @babygirlmickey @crossmydna @sleepyfacetoughguy @depressedstressedlemonzest @energievie @grumblesandmumbles @grumble-fish @mikhailoisbaby @surviving-maybe @thepupperino @themarchg1rl @mmmichyyy 😚😚😚😚

[thekuraning]

Fic ask

4, 13, 20!

HELLO MY FAVORITE PROFESSOR ELM STAN THANK U FOR THE MEMES!!! hey actually these are all ones i havent thought about so made me put on my THINKIN CAP. and hey actually actually this got really long really fast so im PUTTING IT UNDER A READ MORE!!!

4. a story idea you haven't written yet

Ok so like. I've got these two ideas kicking around in my head from time to time that I'm like. Still kind of workshopping. One is a fanfic and one is an original fic. But basically I've had in my head since forever (10 years of Big Thinking) about a big Digimon sort of odyssey that originally started as a Pokemon x Digimon crossover where I took the Rocket executives and shoved them into the digital world. I have a whole world built for it already and a central sort of issue/theme revolving around a power struggle between the Demon Lords and the Royal Knights. The Royal Knights control HUB City, which is the major settlement in the continent, the Demon Lords control the Dark Lands, and kind of like usual they all want to wipe each other out. There's eventually a viral sort of glitch that starts to deteriorate the digital world and jumps to the real world.

Part of my problem is I've wanted to make it a comic or at the very least an illustrated fic and part of the problem is I'm trying to decide if I want to keep it as a crossover or just slap some new names onto the execs bc i gotta be real, the pokemon world and other pokemon characters. do not feature. at all.

its really just an excuse for me to give petrel a digimon.

anyways they all have full evolution lines planned, i've got a few major story beats, plot points, and the major final twist decided on. i also have 5 amvs that i play in my head on a loop when i drive to and from work.

also in this fic some digimon are gay (stingmon and flamedramon makeout sessions when) and trans (crusadermon, trans queen) ive decided

i think ive posted old art before extending the au to some characters and for my perfworld mutuals if youve seen my sycamore + dukemon art before that specific dukemon is also from this au. ive also got a fic i did publish where i workshopped a little bit of HUB city & a few side characters

i am now realizing i meant to also talk about the original fic i have planned and that one is a short story about a serial killer who murders hitchhikers picking up a hitchhiking serial killer and that one is less planned out but i know they sloppy kiss in the end

13. a fandom you're thinking about writing for

so like besides pokemon and tiger & bunny & digimon there's none i actively have fic ideas for, but some fandoms I think I'd like to revisit are Sonic and Zelda. Actually I had a Zelda fic I abandoned back on FFNet that I'd like to take another crack at one day where the premise was it was a modern setting based on the OOT/TP Hyrule (mostly OOT) where magic and fairies and such are regarded as superstition sort of the same way they are now, and the wondrous races (Goron, Zora, Kokiri/Korok, etc. even the Sheika to some extent) had all died out, leaving pretty much just the human races like Hylian, Terminian, Gerudo, etc. (In this case Termina is legitimately a neighboring kingdom/country and not limbo/purgatory ok??) And the kicker was Link was like. a hardcore atheist. but i think i remember people getting mad at me bc i made his legal name "Mahas" which I MUST IMPLORE YOU. THIS IS CANONICALLY HIS NAME AS OF SKYWARD SWORD. BELIEVE IT OR NOT THERE WAS AN ATTEMPT TO BUILD A PSEUDO LANGUAGE IN SKYWARD SWORD. WE KNOW HIS NAME IS MAHAS BECAUSE IN THE BEGINNING WHEN FI IS JUST CALLING HIM LINK AND NOT MASTER LINK HER VOICE LINES ARE EVER ONLY MAHAS. ONCE SHE BEGINS CALLING HIM MASTER LINK ANY TIME IT APPEARS ON SCREEN SHE SAYS "MAARI MAHAS." SO IM RIGHT OK FUCK OFF IM RIGHT. DIE MAD FFNET. DIE. MAD.

ahem.

im normal now.

anyways yeah i'd like to write for elder scrolls again too i think but like. something more original than the supernatural/TESIV Oblivion retelling crossover i tried once.

You can find that one on my ao3 but im not linking it.

20. in what year did you publish your first fic?

In the year of our lord 2005 (pensive emoji)(raised fist emoji) I published a... fic of some kind to FFNet.

You won't find it anymore, I deleted it a long time ago! I'm not sure if it was 'Rocket Road Trip' or 'The Rebellion,' but it was one of those. I used to write a ton of OC team rocket fics, and this was back in the day when the Rocket Executives had no name so you either thought there was 1 guy exec and 1 girl exec or you thought each exec encounter in GSC was a different person, and that was me. So I gave them all names and threw them into a truck together and i think in the very first chapter they were leaving the Team Rocket HQ and they ran over and left to die the OC who would later go on to be repurposed into Proton except his name was Steve then and he was a special classification of trainer class that I called a "Random Rocket," and the thing about Random Rockets was they all had very generic names (Steve, Bob, Juan, I think there was a Nancy once but she never got to show up in a fic or rp?) but the OTHER thing about Random Rockets was no one knew what they looked like because canonically their faces were all censored with a big ass mosaic effect (this was written, not draw.)

anyways farla cussed me out on 3 or 4 different fics back when she used to cuss out literal children so I deleted all my fics from 2005 - 2008 and then I deleted more of them when I went to college.

don't be like farla.

edit: self-plugging my old FFNet account for the lulz. yes it is i, the original author of Slowpoke Tails and Koffing Fumes.

[futureseaempress]

It’s Beas nice ask day!

So my question for you: What is your craziest “truth is stranger than fiction” moment you have experienced in real life

oh me oh my i have like a billion moments like these...

i gotta say its tied between (okay going under the cut cause im a clown who must dance)

So on a dark and stormy night, my stoner roommate and I were trying to trace back why our dryer just wasn't getting clothes dry quickly. Only problem: our electrical is under our house in a crawl space and our house is situated on an UNEVEN hill. So you have to be mighty tiny to crawl into the right places.

Good news: I am small.

Bad news: I am horribly claustrophobic and cannot enter this spot without my brain SCREAMING that the house will collapse on me.

So we go under the house anyway calling up to our other roomies (beauties who are watching reality tv on the couch and laughing at us) to help us echo locate where we oughta be.

Bubba bumps his back on SOMETHING but we don't pay it any mind, he's okay and we can't get where we need to anyway. I give up and go shower to get the red clay and cobwebs off and he goes to idk smoke weed. BUT oh no

the water

it's no longer running

...

oh shit

what did we accidentally do???

i hop back into my clothes and my beat up nikes to go explore. We're turning knobs and levers we've never even seen before while our roomie calls to us updates from topside.

we're pacing the property

at a complete loss

then

just as we're about to go to a hotel for the night and call someone to get us water for the next day

i hit my head on SOMETHING under the house

i hear a loud WHOOOOOOOOOOOOSH

and my beautiful roommate shouting "WATER'S BACK"

same beautiful roommate

about two years prior

im heeming and hawing about how my only family in our city is a gay hair stylist who primarily works in the african american women's beauty industry... i've only met him twice, but he was really kind to me and im hoping that as the only gays we might bond. but it's also weird bc he robbed my grandma and pawned all my moms gold jewelry from the half a year they lived in Saudi Arabia. and also the only thing we have in common is growing up in a very small town in a different state and now living in a big city.

and im describing my neil patrick harris look alike of an uncle

and my roommate this look on her face

and she asks "have you ever seen chris rock's documentary Good Hair?" and i say "no of course i have not."

and she says "well i know you love Ice T i thought maybe" and i say "while i love him my knowledge is VERY lacking" and she takes a knee and swears to me that "as a black woman [she] must educate [me, her] white compatriot"

and the whole lead up in this documentary is all the contestants for this hair competition saying their biggest fear

and

every

single

one

man, woman, new to the game, old hat

are afraid of one man

.... Jason.

AND WHO IS JASON?? IF NOT MY GAY AS THE DAY IS LONG WHITE TWINK UNCLE. WHO WHEN I FIRST MET MY GRANDMOTHER FAILED TO MENTION HAD ANY RELATION TO US AND UPON THE SECOND MEETING (at said grandmothers funeral) MY MOM ASKED HO WI COULD POSSIBLY KNOW HIM. HE ONCE STOLE THE FAMILY GOLD FROM SAUDI ARABIA AND COULD HAVE BEEN ROBBED OF THIS ENTIRE EXPERIENCE AS HE WAS IN AN AIRPORT HEADING TO NEW YORK BUT HIS FLIGHT GOT DELAYED ON 9-11 AND HE USED TO HAVE A WIFE AND HAS A SON BY HER AND HE'S THE MOST INTERESTING MAN I HAVE EVER MET.

anyway these are my stories

DUN DUN