#but i do appreciate TO THIS DAY the two people that basically just sent me a

[rapidhighway]

btw if you don't want to comment on fics because you don't know what to say just know that if you try and comment even if it's a short thing about one part of the fic or literally anything, you will actually get better at it. And you will actually start making mental notes while reading so you can write a nice comment, or even just scroll all the way down every time you want to say something and build an entire comment like that. The writers want to know what people think! ESPECIALLY if you enjoyed it!

[mothmanns]

pointless rambling in tags

[sincerelyyuu]

hidden affections • itadori yuji

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ synopsis: after moving to a new school, you quickly gain the affections of a mystery admirer. ➼ pairing: itadori yuji x gn!reader ➼ content/tw: sfw, secretadmirer!yuji, tooth rotting fluff, no curses au, yuji is basically a lovesick puppy and is whipped for reader ➼ wc: 2K words ➼ a/n: desperately in need of some cute yuji content! likes and reblogs are appreciated ♡

Growing up, there weren't many people that Yuji found interesting enough to date. People seemed to gravitate towards his friendly and outgoing personality so making friends came easy to him. Even then, there wasn’t anyone that really caught his eye. Of course, he had his preferences (Jennifer Lawrence being one of them), but no one that he considered passing the threshold of friendship with.

That is until he met you.

Nobara had mentioned a new student was transferring into their class. It was a little unexpected considering it was the middle of the school year, so he was curious as to who this person was. When you first stepped into the classroom, Yuji felt the breath knock out of his lungs.

He always thought the idea of falling in love at first sight was so cheesy and something that only happened in movies. Yet suddenly all of those love songs on the radio made sense. You were the most attractive person he’s ever seen. He hadn’t realized he was staring until Nobara shoved an elbow into his side, snickering at the way his jaw snapped shut from the way it hung open. Meanwhile, you stood at the front of the class, doing your best to smile despite your nerves at all the attention on you.

“This is (y/n). They’ll be joining us for the remainder of the school year. They just moved here, so please do your best to make them feel welcome,” the sensei introduced before turning to you. “You may take a seat.”

Bowing in respect to the teacher and then once more to your new classmates, you briefly scanned the room. You decided to take a seat next to a pink haired male who waved hello enthusiastically to you, already feeling your nerves dissipate from his cheery demeanor.

“(y/n), right? I’m Itadori Yuji,” he greeted with a grin.

“It’s nice to meet you, Itadori,” you returned his smile, pulling the supplies out of your bag to get ready for the lesson. “I like your hair. It kind of reminds me of strawberry milk.”

The words leaving your lips before you could stop them, you looked at him sheepishly, “Sorry, was that weird to say?”

Yuji laughed lightly, a little embarrassed at your thoughts on his hair. “No, it’s fine. I haven’t heard that one before but thanks, I guess.”

“If you want, my friends Fushiguro, Kugisaki and I can show you around. I wouldn’t mind-, I mean, we wouldn’t mind,” he offers, quickly correcting himself and silently cursing himself for lamely stumbling over his words.

Thankfully, you didn’t seem to catch it and nodded your head eagerly, “I’d like that a lot.”

Just like that, you found yourself hanging out everyday with this trio of friends who accepted you into their group with open arms. There was rarely a day where you weren’t with them, be it group study sessions in the library or outside of school going on convenience store runs. Among this group, you naturally became closest with Yuji who always made you feel welcomed.

Meanwhile for Yuji, what started as innocent interest quickly evolved into a full blown crush on you. He was drawn to your bubbly and sweet nature and like a moth to a flame, his heart followed you. He found himself thinking of you all the time, wondering about what you liked or what you were up to. Wondering if you thought about him as much as he thought about you.

It was the little things that sent his heart racing. One random day, his number two pencil had rolled off his desk. Leaning down to grab it, his hand brushed against yours feeling the soft skin of your hand against his fingers. You were a step quicker than him and grabbed the pencil first, placing it back on his desk.

“Thanks,” he expressed, doing his best to fight back the rush of heat to his face.

You merely waved him off nonchalantly in an effort to tell him not to worry about it. After that, Yuji would purposely drop his pencils often in class, timing it so that his hands would brush against yours every time. You joked with him about how clumsy he was when in reality, his hand would tremble as it yearned to hold yours.

Yuji never had a problem with expressing himself to others. However, when it came to you, it was like his brain immediately turned to mush. All of his thoughts fly out of his head the minute you're on his mind. 

“Why don’t you just tell them how you feel?” Megumi asks him a different day. 

“What if they don’t feel the same way?” Yuji whines, plopping his head onto his folded arms on his desk. “It would be so embarrassing if they rejected me.”

“You don’t know unless you try,” his friend replies, mildly amused by the distress on Yuji’s face. “Besides, I’m surprised they haven’t figured it out yet.”

Raising his head, Yuji looks at him in surprise. “Wait, what do you mean?”

Megumi rolls his eyes. “You literally have hearts in your eyes whenever you look at them.”

Did he really? He couldn’t help it. Every time you walked into the room, it was like all he could see was you. The way your eyes light up whenever you wave hello to him. The crinkle of your nose whenever you laugh at something funny he said. Your voice dripping with honey every time you spoke to him. You were absolutely captivating to him.

“Look, I’m just saying that there are other ways to let them know your feelings,” the spiky haired teen suggested cryptically with the gears turning in Yuji’s head as he thought over his best friend’s advice.

The next day, you and Nobara were aimlessly chatting about plans for the weekend. When you walked into class, you were surprised to see a red and brown box sitting on top of your desk. Upon further inspection, you saw it was a pack of chocolate Meiji Hello Panda cookies, your favorite childhood snack.

“Whatcha’ got there, (y/n)?” Nobara asks as she throws her bag to the floor and slips into her desk beside yours.

“Cookies,” you answered and held up the box to her. “Did you see who left these here?”

The ginger shrugged, “Wasn’t from me. Is there a name?”

Taking a closer look at the box, you couldn’t find a sender name. Instead you found a tiny strawberry sticker pasted on the front. Why would someone leave you this on your desk? As if answering your thoughts, Nobara leaned in with a cheeky grin.

“Looks like someone has a secret admirer~,” she teases.

You shook your head at her in disbelief. “I doubt it. Maybe someone is just being nice?” you tried to reason with her.

“Oh, definitely. That’s exactly why I have a box of treats sitting on my desk, too,” Nobara sarcastically retorts and gestures to her empty desk. 

You shoved her shoulder playfully with a laugh, opening the box and shaking a couple of the shortbread pandas into her awaiting hand. Hearing a chair screech on your opposite side, you turned to see Yuji looking at you with expecting eyes.

“Hi, Itadori!” you greeted, holding out the box to him. “Want some? Someone really sweet left these for me on my desk today.”

“O-Oh, really? That was nice of them,” he stammered in response.

He stretched out his hand and let you drop a couple of the pieces onto his palm, crumpling the convenience store receipt with the name of the snack inside of his hoodie pocket.

Satisfied with how the first time went, Yuji started leaving anonymous tokens of affection at your desk every day. A single stem of your favorite flower (which he found out through Nobara who had a field day when he told her of his crush on you). A bag of candies as sweet as you. A cute bunny keychain that he won at the local arcade (and spent way too much money to get) that reminded him of you. Each time he would wake up extra early to make sure he was the first one to get to class to leave his little gift. 

Feeling a bit braver, Yuji also began writing love notes to you to slip into your locker. Just little one liners onto torn notebook paper of things he wished he could say to you but didn’t have the courage to say to your face.

“Seeing your smile is enough to brighten my whole day.”

“You are my sunshine on my darkest days.”

“Do you understand how amazing you are?”

With every passing day, you wanted so badly to find out who your secret admirer was. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t start to develop a crush on them back. How could you not when they were clearly trying hard to convey their feelings for you in the most endearing way?

The only clue you had was that same strawberry sticker that accompanied each gift and note. You did feel guilty that this mystery person was spending all this time and money on you without getting anything in return. The curiosity was starting to become unbearable.

So, you made up your mind. You were going to find out who this person was whether they were ready or not.

Waking up just as the sun was rising, you hurriedly got ready and made your way to school. Walking through the empty hallways, you stopped just as you were a step away from the door of your homeroom, careful to avoid being seen through the class windows. Your heart accelerated once you heard footsteps inside the classroom. They were already here. Inhaling deeply to steady your rapid heartbeat, you slid open the door.

“...Itadori?” you gasped.

The tall teen looked at you with wide eyes, unceremoniously dropping the adorable shiba dog plushie on your desk. He felt a panic rise in his chest. You weren’t supposed to be here yet. What were you doing here? 

Wracking his brain on what to say, he ultimately sighed. Turning to face you, he rubbed the back of his head bashfully, “You finally caught me. It was me.”

You felt your heart grow warm at finally matching a face to all the gifts and the love notes. To think it was your friend Yuji this entire time. As you studied the male, your eyes gravitated up to his strawberry pink locks. 

Strawberry. The strawberry sticker. You finally connected the dots. It was his way of telling you it was him and you didn’t even realize it.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” you questioned softly. Walking up to the tense male, you saw him gulp as you stopped in front of him, looking so nervous and utterly adorable.

Yuji gave a half hearted laugh before replying, “Would you think I’m lame if I told you I was afraid to?"

"You just make me so nervous. I really like you. I’ve liked you for a while now but I didn’t know how to say it without ruining our friendship. I wanted to give you an out in case you didn’t feel the same.”

Picking up the plushie, he tentatively held it out to you. Butterflies fluttered in his stomach at the way you accepted it and held it to your chest affectionately.

“Yuji,” you gently beamed up at him. “Can I call you that?”

Yuji swore he died and went to heaven upon hearing you say his first name. Cheeks flushing, he nodded fervently. He felt his breath hitch when you leaned up to press a kiss to his reddening cheek.

“Thank you for everything,” your voice full of gratitude as you stared into his fawn colored eyes. “For the record, I really like you, too.”

Feeling a sudden wave of confidence, he placed his hands on your waist and pulled you closer to him. “Does this mean I can finally take you on a date?” he asks, his cheeks aching from how widely he was smiling. 

Hiding your face behind the plushie in your hands, you peered up through your lashes at him with twinkling eyes. Too cute, Yuji thought.

“Just say the word and I’ll be there,” you promised.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for making a YouTuber feel uncomfortable? 

Here me out please, before you all make assumptions. 

A couple months ago, I(19F) began following a YouTuber that I quickly began to love. I won’t be saying the YouTuber’s name for the sake of protecting their privacy, obviously. I started to watch their videos(which were mainly about a story that she came up with, featuring her ocs) and enjoyed them all, enjoyed the ocs, too. This YouTuber is a relatively unpopular one, but not so unpopular that they’re obscure or completely unheard of, they’re just not one of the big names in the YouTuber community. I made a few amazing friends due to us being in the same fandom and both enjoying this YouTuber’s content. One day, I decided to write a fanfic for this person’s story featuring her ocs. I uploaded the fic to AO3 and made sure to credit the YouTuber with creating these amazing ocs. I then showed it to my few friends, who all loved the fanfic. However, one day I made the mistake of showing the fic to a mutual friend(now an ex-friend but that’s a topic for another discussion) that me and the YT both share, and she sent the fanfic to the YT without my permission. Now before y’all get up in arms, I didn’t mind at all that she had sent it to the YT, in fact, I actually wanted the YT to see. However I really wish that she had asked me first, because I would have been more than happy to show it to them! Unfortunately, a few days after I sent it to her, my other friend(let’s call her M) showed me an announcement the YT made on her Discord, in which she complained about people writing fanfictions of her ocs and “using” them in her stories without her permission. She also stated that she felt like she was losing control of her story when other people wrote fanfics of it, and that whoever wrote the fanfiction “didn’t understand boundaries”(even though she didn’t have this boundary before and also wrote in the announcement that she used to be okay with fanfics of her work, but now no longer is). I deleted the fanfic the moment I saw the post from my friend, but I was a bit disappointed since I never meant to make her feel uncomfortable and only wanted to show my love and appreciation for her story, and possibly get more people to check out her story as well. Still, I deleted the fanfic from AO3. 

Now, here’s where things get interesting. A while later, I joined the YouTuber’s Discord server, where I met many people that I got along quite well with and quickly befriended. I often engaged in conversations with them about the story, and often drew fanart of my favorite character and posted it to the art channel in the server(she’s okay with fanart of her ocs, just not fanfics). Now is probably a good time to mention that while I was in the Discord server(and even before that) I often talked about the story with my friend on Tumblr(not M, these are two separate friends) who did not have Discord but loved the story just as much as I did. We often talked about the story and how much we enjoyed it, and often came up with jokes and headcanons, basic stuff like that, that any fan would do. Anyway, back to the Discord, one of the rules of the server was not to be disrespectful or rude or malicious towards other people, and another was that if you received two warnings about your behavior in the server then you would be quickly banned from the server and no longer allowed to come back. I understood this and tried to conduct myself to the best of my ability. However, one day, I found myself mysteriously unable to access the server, and when I tried to rejoin, I was again unable to. I found out that the reason I couldn’t access the server was because I had been banned due to “disrespectful behavior”, “engaging in arguments”, and making the YouTuber(who ran the server) uncomfortable. I was confused, because I genuinely don’t remember ever engaging in rude behavior with anyone. The few instances(according to them) in which I had been allegedly rude or disrespectful to people were both genuine misunderstandings, and both times I had apologized for them and did not repeat the behavior. I also did not receive any form of warning before being banned, despite one of the rules being that you will receive two warnings before being banned from the server. Still, I apologized for my alleged hostility and asked if I could come back, however the YouTuber said no, and went on to add that not only was I rude to people in the server(which, again, were both genuine misunderstandings), but that she had seen my Tumblr conversations with my friends in which I talked about her story, and said that she was “wildly uncomfortable” with how “obsessive” I was with it as well as my favorite character in the story. This bewildered me to no end because the YouTuber did not have Tumblr and had never once ever mentioned being on or having access to Tumblr, so I did not expect her to see my posts(and even if she did, I did not expect to get banned for them as they do not violate the rules of the server). It made me wonder why she didn’t just talk to me and explain to me that she was uncomfortable with me posting about her work instead of just banning me altogether and not giving me a chance to defend myself. I ended up sadly and reluctantly deleting all of my posts relating to her story, and requesting my friend to do the same. I told M about this scenario, and she was enraged on my behalf, saying that the YouTuber probably was actually upset about my having written a fanfic for her ocs, and said that she didn’t understand me being called obsessive because I acted like a normal fan would(which I agree with). Some of my other friends have sided with me as well and told me that the YouTuber was acting petty, however some of my friends have taken a middle ground. None of them entirely condemned me, but that may just be because they are biased and don’t want to hurt my feelings. The mutual friend/now ex-friend(of course) merely told me to “self-reflect” and move on from the story. Regardless, the YouTuber now has me blocked, not just on Discord, but on Instagram as well, where I also reside. 

Reasons why I think I might be the asshole: I will admit that I have a tendency to really hyperfixate on things and get especially attached to fictional characters that I adore and resonate with, so I can see why that would make them uncomfortable. That being said… 

Reasons why I think I might not be the asshole: I genuinely wasn’t trying to make this wonderful YouTuber feel uncomfortable or be “obsessive” with the story. I merely wanted to show my appreciation for it in a way that I thought was normal for online fans, which included writing a fanfic, drawing fanart, and geeking out about the story with my friends(admittedly publicly). I had no idea that these actions would turn the YouTuber off, and merely wanted to show how much I enjoyed the story. I also was never rude to anyone in the server and apologized whenever a misunderstanding rose up. I never tried to be aggressive with anyone or cursed anybody out or tried to have arguments with people, so I have no idea where that came from. 

So, what say ye, oh wise people of Tumblr? Am I the asshole or not?

What are these acronyms?

[kiefbowl]

this is a random thought I had in the shower actually well over a month ago, but I've been gnawing at it in my brain...and perhaps this is going to sound pathetic and a bit esoteric.

So, it suddenly dawned on me very randomly while I was showering that I have been paying for netflix for my own account since I was a freshman in college. Back in the dvd days, I remember having Firefly sent to me disk by disk my fall semester. This is 2009. It was an important part of college because I let my friends use it on their console and we'd all go to their dorm and watch streaming, and I passed out my log in to a ton of friends. I basically provided free Netflix to more or less 10 or so people over the course of four years for not even $7 a month I think.

What hit me though was that means, this year - that will be 15 years. That's what stopped me in my shower to stare off in the abyss for like 10 minutes and what's been on my mind for the past several weeks. I've been paying netflix for 15 years, which is the longest I've ever done anything. There is no other company I've so consistently paid for like this either, not for that many of years not even close. Quite possibly my longest relationship outside of my family and 2-3 other people. Netflix, the ever constant, of all forsaken things.

And what really bothers me about it is that, uhm, not to be an American consumer but like...I don't feel appreciated by netflix. For the past few years, I've barely used it, except for a few titles I've wanted to watch. I haven't passed out my log in since I changed it not long after college to keep an ex using it for free. I've remained loyal, despite the fact that I don't feel like some sort of loyal consumerist. I don't give a fuck about brands, I try to shop as little as possible, thrift what I can. And yet, what can I say? I actually am a loyal consumerist, to netflix that is.

What a shock to realize this, and what a shock to realize netflix does not acknowledge this, no email saying thanks, no surveys, no swag, no pizza party, no invite no perk no discount no nothing. Instead they raise prices, cut services, lose licenses, and cancel barely finished products. I'm 15 years loyal to this company for this?

And I think about the days of yore, but really not long ago. The preferred shopper's catalogues of department stores, the longtime shopper promotions of industry giants, the award systems for the loyal consumerists of chains and malls. The specialty Christmas items that are today vintage and worth money for their rarity. The thank yous, the special events. The mailers that say "Come to our store loyal customer and receive a free $20 coupon for that day!" And I'm not saying this is good, and of course it's all just marketing and advertisement, and I'm not saying this is the life I want to live...

But I am saying this would be easy for netflix to do, for someone like me. Someone who went from $7 to stream and receive DVDs, who got customers onboard when the model was new and the company was pioneering, to $20 to sit unused but for a month or two out of the year. It would be easy to pull the data. It would be easy to say which accounts have been opened the longest, to actually verify who has given 180 months worth of payments to them. It would be easy to give me a year's discount to say thank you. It would be easy for them to send an email to verify my address to send me merch. Do I want the merch? No, not really. But have they tried?

Have they even sent me an email saying "We appreciate your 15 years of support! We value you!" with little confetti animation? They didn't do it at 10 years. They didn't do it at 5 years. I don't recall ever receiving emails from netflix besides "Unfortunately, our payment model is changing."

As of today, I haven't pulled my account yet. I want to finish Bridgerton, even if this season is a snoozefest. But I think I will. I feel had and used, as pathetic as that sounds. Has Hulu done anything different? I can't remember when I signed up for them but it's been many years. No, but I frankly use it more, so I'm less angry. And with netflix...it's been fifteen years. They have really banked on us being passive in our payments, and accustomed to the freedom of endless choice, and it just feels gleeful that they never even once acknowledged I've been here this whole time. Actually, act like Sears and Bloomingdales 60 years ago, or we quit I think we should say. Ask me my address to send me a glass netflix mug or I'll fuck off, because who do you think you are to think so little of me, the only reason you exist for?

[weirdmageddon]

💿⚛️ davejade headcanons

sorry for leaving you guys waiting on this for like a week lol i kept being like “tomorrow for sure” but falling asleep but anyway here it is. i might add more to this if i think if anything but reblogs might not reflect the up to date source version so you can always find it here

most of these are pointing out stuff thats basically canon anyway but whatever lol. basically canon headcanons

dave tries to impress jade to get her attention because he likes her

this ones for you *misses hoop by 5 feet*

he doesnt mind jade’s inane riddles honestly. he isn’t perturbed by how she just knows things like rose is, because he doesnt think into it too far. he trusts her

he spends a lot of time indulging in her interests and showers her in his music and poetry

they draw things for each other a lot <3 jade has the pictionary modus and seems pretty good at drawing and of course dave sent her sbahj as furries in the mail. sending jpegs over the internet is BABY NONSENSE. real boys send their childhood friend/crush pictures they drew for them through the INTERNATIONAL POSTAL SYSTEM to an unspecified island in the middle of nowhere, pacific ocean that gets packages dropped by plane so the recipient can tangibly hold it and hang it in their room

actually i was going through the commentary and hussie addresses it as such:

“Also notice her SBaHJ furry poster, which was clearly a very thoughtful gift from Dave”

aww

jade would give dave a "cool" plushie of a tiger or something nd he keeps it on his desk . froot’s beautiful idea

he loves her plushie sensibilities. so much less unnerving than his bro’s phallic puppets. they're still soft but no cognitive dissonance this time about the softness coming from foam puppet ass hoorayyy

theyre still reading homestuck on act 4 but they understood them instantly

jade humors dave’s ironic cool facade because it makes dave feel more comfortable without feeling too exposed, but it’s because of this that he feels like he can open up to her because she isnt prying. (im still not over the smile here btw. only jade could make dave smile after a fucked evening where he spilled juice on his turntables and accidentally skewered an innocent crow with his sword and broke his window this mf is TYPING. also getting a bit of joy out of the fact that the only visible suit on his cards-themed bedcover in this panel is a heart)

but he knows that jade is not unaware of what he's hiding. couldnt even refute her lol

from the knight’s perspective, it’s “i’m not as [blank] as i appear. i want you know that about me if i know you well and trust you, or i DON’T want you to know that about me if i DON’T know you well. the reason is that i want to know that i can trust you to avoid turning my insecurity into a Whole Thing”

basically she allows dave to take initiative when HE feels comfortable and confident in sharing the things he’s self-conscious about. this really helps him be comfortable and form a strong bond with her

dave would wrap his arms around her to “ironically” imitate a pair of tangle buddy squiddles (while actually concealing genuine affection basically unbeknownst to himself) but he winds up looking just a little too into it for just an “ironic” bit yall……

jade is slower to realize her deeper feelings since she shows love to everyone (so long as theyre deserving of it!!!) it just hits her one day that she actually Likes him in a special way, while for dave it is more dynamic and gradual but very on the downlow, expressed in creative acts and services

once dave actually recognizes he’s really caught feelings for her down the line, dave and jade happily do the tangle buddies hug all the time. its like their handshake. its their weird couple thing

these two when together as a unit they do not give a shit about what other people think of them

this shit lol:

Creative Fucking Powerhouse the two of them

davejade ass song to me

jade is quite spacey and super appreciates dave’s level-headedness and steady pragmatism while at the same time not being a rigid stick in the mud about it. for example when they were acting as each others’ server players dave was advising her but it was appreciated by jade

sorry its just literally socionics duality LITERALLY THIS IS THEMMM (also i spent WAY too much time making these graphics and integrating texts from multiple sources please appreciate it)

fittingly with that, as ouroborista writes about the opposite space-time aspect dichotomy,

Space and Time are the fundamental Aspect pair. Their job is to make shit take place. To create novelty. Between them they span not only all of existence but also the inseparable twin approaches of any creative project. Space goes for breadth, for ideas, for expansive, holistic input, while Time goes for needlepoint focus and a rapid-turnover ability to pull through on the prompt. There’s a reason why these are the two Aspects necessary for any successful session of SBURB.

jade is literally always having a little giggle about him. dave is a funny guy. lame court jester ass boyfriend

he’d draw his post-ironic fursona and show it to her with the usual deadpan expression on his face, eyes obscured by his shades. but jade will look at it and when he sees her smile and laugh it makes it all worth it. his cheeks feel warm and he’ll smile slightly like “heh heh”. dave the type to smile like an idiot over anything jade does like his mouth keeps making a thin line and hes trying to fight it but . Jade

dave thought jade looked absolutely stunning in her 3 in the morning dress his mouth probably stupidly hung open the tiniest amount seeing her after swapping into it

of course she only wears it for what she considers "very special occasions"…..spending time with dave seemed to be a very special occasion :)

jade think dave looks sharp in his suits!!

imagine jade adjusting daves crooked bowtie and lapel and his palms start to sweat and he darts his eyes from behind his shades and chews the inside of his cheek she making him nervous bro 💯

jade is definitely the teaser and dave is the teased. still i dont think jade teases dave as much as john and rose which is why he feels more comfortable opening up to her about his shit. her teasings are much lighter and inconsequential

despite how funny and informal he is dave is a classy well-put-together romantic. he is responsible and harmonious in how he choses to present himself. remember when he got secondhand embarrassment from rose when she was drunk before her date with kanaya and he suggested to her and kanaya that the two reschedule? … he’d NEVER do something like that. sober. suit is ON. hair is neatly combed. he is right on time, not too early not too late, and his first words are “yo whats up”

dave has this designated driver energy about him

after dogtiering jade’s dog ears can perk and flatten, adding even more expressiveness

jade has so many hobbies and interests i think she’d get dave into horticulture somehow unironically

theyre both the kinda mf to ask “would you still love me if i were a worm”

dave’s hands are warm

jade’s skin can be cool to the touch in some places like the back of her arms or shoulders and dave places his hands there to warm them. or by rubbing them or something

idk just some associations space is cool and time is warm to me. the vaccuum of space is cold and time is associated with gears which are associated with generating heat and dave’s classical element is fire and jade’s is earth and her planet is initially covered in snow and daves is covered in lava idk…. just makes symbolic sense i guess but its also cute in its own right

dave would love going to the beach with jade on earth c cause the ocean is so boob i mean boob i mean boob i m,ean boob i mean SHIT . blue. blue

this Fucking animation bro

she infodumps about science and he sits his ass down to listen

jade does this (excuse the fact that the url is roselalonde)

[mrsevans90]

Puppy Love

Captain Syverson x OFC Emma Miller Part 8

Summary: Austin Syverson has returned to Texas after retiring from the military and starts his own contracting business. Syverson is used to being alone and thinks he prefers it that way. While at work he stumbles upon an injured and abused puppy. When he meets the new veterinarian in town, Emma Miller, he is immediately smitten with her. It turns out Emma has some baggage of her own. Will they be able to make it work? Or is it just a case of fleeting puppy love?

Pairing: Henry Cavill as Captain Austin Syverson x OFC Emma Miller 

Warnings: Smut, Sy overthinking, PTSD, meeting the grandparents (Nana is a warning herself 😜) language.

MINORS DNI! Must be 18+

I do not authorize any copying/pasting, stealing of my work, or using my words as your own. 

This story is not beta’d. All mistakes are my own.

A/N: I am an imperfect person who makes mistakes. All that I ask is to please be kind and if you enjoy it then please comment and REPOST! I appreciate any love, comments, and reposts more than you could know. Thank you for reading! 

Part 7

We head to bed later that night and I start removing my clothes.

“I normally sleep naked. I can put some boxers on if you want me too.” I say. I don’t know why it feels awkward but getting naked in front of each other just to go to sleep feels a little embarrassing all of the sudden. I’m reminded that we really haven’t known each other for more than a few days and even though I feel things for her that I haven’t felt in years this is moving awfully fast. I’m used to one-night stands that I don’t see again after we’ve had sex and I dip out.

Emma chuckles at my sudden hesitation. “Bear, I’m more than fine with you sleeping naked. Can I borrow that shirt I wore this morning to sleep in so I won’t get cold?” She asks and I immediately hand her my red DILLIGAF shirt. She has no idea how much I wore that shirt while deployed after Mark and Jenn sent it to me for my birthday one year. It’s easily my favorite and typically I’d never let a woman wear it for fear of not getting it back, but Emma looks sensational in it and I love seeing it. She removes her clothes before sliding it on and going to the bathroom to brush her teeth. The edge of the shirt rides up when she spits out her toothpaste and I’m instantly horny again. Gosh, she’s perfect. I’m feeling more confident tonight after sleeping so well with her next to me last night and hope I don’t have any nightmares. We climb into bed and she immediately snuggles against my chest while intertwining our legs together. I start playing with strands of her hair as the dogs settle in their beds on the floor.

“I’m going to have to tell my parents about Colin tomorrow. They’re going to freak. Especially my dad.”

“Why’s that? He’s arrested, won’t they feel better about him being in custody?”

“Maybe for the next day or so. When he got out of it the first time, he was angrier than he had been the night he broke in. He was going around town starting rumors about me and telling people that I was going to pay for giving him a criminal record. Unfortunately, he didn’t say it to me directly so it wasn’t considered a threat by law enforcement. My dad basically begged me to move home so that I wasn’t alone but I wasn’t going to do that. I’m a thirty-two-year-old woman with a successful job and can take care of myself. If I moved back home, the fear would overtake me and I don’t think I’d ever fully move on. I’d just be stuck there in the town that constantly gossiped and I just couldn’t live like that, you know?”

“Makes sense. Ya gotta move forward.”

“Exactly. Dad always worried that I was running away from my problems, rather than seeing it as a new beginning for me to live the life that I want too. I just worry that he’ll panic and try to convince me that moving back is the only way I’ll be safe from Colin.”

“I’ve never been a parent so I certainly can’t say what I would do in his shoes, but he loves you and just wants to protect you. Sometimes parents think sheltering us like they did when we were kids is the only way to protect us. He’ll come to the realization that you’re a grown woman who wants to make her own decisions and live the way she chooses. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to give up control over someone you’ve cared for their whole life, but I’m sure he’ll come around in time. Has he been out here to visit?”

“He came with me the week I bought the house. I had toured it the same week I applied for the veterinarian position and loved it so I brought him back before closing. We stayed at the hotel in town and basically toured the town for three days before he headed back. He wanted to help me move but I wouldn’t allow him. He’s got a bad back and I don’t need him injuring himself. I can fortunately afford movers so that’s what I did. I promised my parents they could come visit in a few weeks once I got the guest bedroom in working order. I still need to go buy a bed for that room, come to think of it.”

“Mmm, that’s real nice darlin’. I’m sure you’ll love having them come visit ya.” 

“It’ll be nice but I’m sure I’ll get an earful about Colin showing up. I still can’t figure out how he found me.” 

“I don’t know, but we’ve done all the necessary measures to keep you safe and secure. You can always call me if you’re worried and I’ll be there in ten minutes or less. Just promise me you won’t confront him again without me or police there alright?” 

“Oh, I have no plans to confront him at all, but I promise.” She says with a sleepy smile. 

“Let’s go to sleep, Sugar. It’s been a hell of a day.” 

“Mmm… Goodnight Sy.”

“Night beautiful.”

After another great night of sleep, I wake around five am and see Emma sprawled out on the bed beside me. The sky is starting to get lighter which casts just enough ambient light on to her sleeping form. Emma lays on her stomach with her arms tucked under the pillow. My navy-blue sheet is draped delicately across her bare bottom and her flawless back is exposed. At some point in her sleep, she has rucked my red t-shirt up so high that I can see the sides of her breasts poking out of it against the mattress. Her long hair is sprawled out beside her on the pillow and her lips are parted with delicate breaths escaping her soft mouth. She looks so youthful and relaxed. She is an absolute art form. This is truly the type of muse that artists create masterpieces about and I have it right here in my bed. Me, just a good old military boy who does construction for a living. I don’t feel like I even belong in her presence at times. She’s so intelligent and articulated, while I fear I sometimes sound like a hick next to her. Yet, she still looks at me as if I hung the stars and I truly don’t know how I can keep from messing this up. I want to pause this moment of pure bliss, and prolong it because I know from experience that all good things must come to an end. In my life, love is fleeting and I don’t want her to be a distant memory. I lay there staring at her and silently chuckle as I watch her scowl and scrunch her nose at what must be an unsatisfying dream. Everything she does is so endearing. I guess that’s how it’s supposed to be early on in a relationship, however, I’ve never experienced someone this perfect in my whole life. Even with my past relationships, there were little signs or red flags that I simply overlooked or placated because everyone has annoying habits. I swear, this girl could slap me in the face and I’d probably ask her to do it again. Pussy whipped. That’s what I’ve become. If only the boys could see me now, they’d never let me hear then end of it. Their no bull-shit Captain head over heels in love…LOVE!? Surely, I can’t be in love. I barely know her. It’s too soon, too fast and we each have too much baggage for things to go this smoothly. I’m just not used to spending so much time with a particular woman. Now, I guess I just enjoy my time with her until the other shoe drops. Hopefully, I won’t be completely crushed in the end. God, what was I thinking inviting her to Nana’s house? It’ll crush the ole’ folks when this goes sour.

I lay there as my mind continues to race knowing that I won’t go back to sleep. This is when I usually wake up and I’ve been more than lucky to have slept two nights in a row without having nightmares. I’d be tempting fate to try and push for anymore. My brain continues to spiral as I lay there watching her sleep. She’s so peaceful and I smirk when she suddenly flips onto her back and her arms stretch out in search for something while her eyes remain closed. Her nose scrunches once again and I realize it’s me that she’s looking for when her hand caresses my chest and goes limp again. I gaze at that sexy little belly ring and then my thoughts go further away from my worries about how much I am or will screw this up and get a bit dirtier. My arm rests behind my head as I gently turn to my side and take in her form. Her face is turned away from me now, but her breasts are just barely concealed in my shirt. Once again, I wish I was an artist because I would find a way to capture this image forever. My phone is across the room on my dresser, and I’m not sure how she would feel about me taking a photo of her so exposed. Technically, she’s covered but only barely. I’ll have to settle to committing this image to memory. Her skin looks so soft and smooth and I have to force myself not to touch her. By seven am, I’ve decided that the perfect way to wake her up and start my morning is by licking on her sweet little peach. I slowly descend under the sheet which is quite a feat for a man of my size. Luckily, her legs are naturally spread but not quite enough to accommodate my large shoulder width. I gently spread them wider thinking she’ll wake but she doesn’t. I lay on my stomach like a sniper with half of my body hanging off of the bed and gently like a stripe up her center. She doesn’t move. How can she sleep so deeply? I spread her lips with my fingers and start softly making out with her petals. Suddenly, she starts to squirm and when my lips close around her little pearl and suck, her eyes fly open and down at me. Her hands quickly reach for my head and she moans loudly.

“OH FUCK! Austin! Holy shit!” I smile against her as I continue my assault on her body. I slide my middle finger into her tight channel and she mewls as I curl it inside her. 

“Oh my god, oh my god!” She praises as her hips buck in rhythm to the pace my now two fingers have set inside her. 

“Mmm. You taste so good. Best pussy I’ve ever had.” I speak against her sensitive skin.

“That feels so good! I’m… ahhh! I’m gonna cum!” She admonishes and moments later she comes with a squeal and flourish of arousal against my face. 

I continue to softly lick her and kiss her core and her thighs as she regains control of her breathing.

“I’ve never been woken up before like that. God, that was incredible.” Emma says as. I caress my way up her body.

“You were sleeping so hard, I worried you were going to sleep through it. I hope it was okay that I did that.” I tell her starting to second guess myself.

“That was more than okay. Thank you, baby. It was incredible.” She assures me and caresses my jaw. I kiss her softly and soon our kisses become heated and rough. I groan when Emma pushes against my chest and straddles me. Her core is leaking wet arousal against my abdomen as her hands roam around my body. Emma pushes her pussy against my stiff cock and begins sliding it through her folds. I swear I could come just from this. She leans back and removes my shirt from her so that I can see her entire body in the sunlight that peaks from behind the curtains and it is the most amazing view. I reach forward and stroke her full breasts in each hand and push them together so that I can bring them towards my awaiting mouth. While sucking on her perfect tits, Emma lifts herself up, takes ahold of my dick and presses it into the opening of her pussy. We both moan aloud as she inches her way down my shaft. 

“Fuck, darlin’! You’re sucking me in so good.” I grunt. When I’m buried to the hilt, I still for only a second before she is lifting off of me and slamming back down. This is going to be rough and reckless. I concede control (something I rarely do) so that I can take in the captivating image of Emma taking over and chasing her pleasure. The way the sunlight shines above and through her hair make her look ethereal and angelic. Watching her suck her bottom lip into her mouth and softly whimper as she works herself on my rod is something I never want to forget. 

“Damn, you look so perfect riding me, Sugar.” 

“You’re the best ride I’ve ever been on, Captain Syverson.” She smirks. I notice her slowing and seemingly getting frustrated that she can’t move as fast as she wants with how wide her legs are spread to accommodate me in between them, so I decide to help her out. I trail my hands from her breasts down to her hips and hold tightly before pumping myself up into her.

“Oh!” She startles and smiles as I do it again. I slam into her from underneath and she grips onto my biceps as she hangs on for the ride. I stretch my large hands and while still holding onto her hips, I thumb her clit and she keens.

“Mmm, baby! That feels so good! You fuck me so good!” She screams and I feel her cunt flutter around me and know she’s close. I use my other hand to grab ahold of her hair and bring her down for a filthy kiss that I continue when her orgasm explodes around me. I flip her over so that I’m on top and take advantage of the absolute vice grip that she has me in to chase my own release. After maybe ten more thrusts, I’m seeing stars as I pump my load into her womb. I gently relax my weight against her, not allowing myself to fully relax so I don’t crush her and lay there for a moment to catch my breath. Emma’s fingers scratch across my back and I’m tempted to fall asleep like this. I pull out of her and flip to my back and she cuddles up against me. Before I realize it, my eyes are closed and I’m drifting off.

I wake up to the smell of coffee and… bacon? I glance and see that the side of the bed next to me is empty and my red DILLIGAF shirt is missing. I’m still laid out on top of the covers completely nude where I must’ve fallen back asleep. Damn, this woman is a magician at getting me to sleep. I shouldn’t tell her that, because I’m sure it would come out wrong and be considered an insult but I’ve never slept this well with a woman. Emma’s bag is still sitting on the chair in my bedroom. I yawn as I get up and shove on some boxers and running shorts. I notice both dogs are no longer in my bedroom so she must have them with her. I take care of my needs in the bathroom and brush my teeth before checking my phone on the dresser. It’s after nine am. I ease my way down the stairs where I find Emma wearing nothing but my t-shirt, singing softly, hands covered in flour as she uses a drinking glass to cut biscuits out of dough and lays them on a pan. The dogs are patiently begging for scraps and could care less about my arrival to the entrance of the kitchen.

“Well, ain’t this a feast for the eyes.” I say to Emma and she immediately looks up and smirks. Her hair is pulled back in one of those messy buns and tendrils are still scattered around her face and damn, if I wasn’t imagining a life with her right now. Fuck me, she is something else entirely.

“Mmm.. good morning sleepy head. I figured you’d earned yourself a nap so I’d get started making breakfast. You know that snack bag I brought last night had all the ingredients needed for my homemade biscuits. Hope you’re okay with those, with some jam or honey, bacon, and scrambled eggs. I figured I could make yourself a bacon, egg, and cheese breakfast sandwich with the leftovers for tomorrow. I also hope you don’t mind that I took over your kitchen.” She says a little embarrassed as she gestures with her hands and looks at the flour coated counter.

“Sugar, ain’t nothing you do is going to bother me. This is quite the treat, so thank ya. How can I help?” 

“Nothing for you to do. Just get yourself a cup of coffee and relax. I’m finding my way around just fine. I do need to take you to the store sometime and buy you some kitchen utensils. How in the world do you not have a whisk anywhere in this kitchen?”

“Not much for straying outside of the ten or twelve meals I’m good at cooking. Never needed one.” I tell her as I go to get my coffee. I lean down and place a kiss on her lips followed by a smack to her cute little ass that’s covered by my shirt.

“Shirt looks real good on you, Princess.” 

“Oh, Princess is new. I like that but not as much as Sugar or Darlin’.” She giggles.

“I thought you said Sugar made you feel like Mrs. Clayton’s yorkie?” I arch my brow at her.

“Not anymore. All it makes me think of now is you and your perfect eyes looking at me.” I smile at her over my cup of coffee.

I’m obsessed with every moment of this domestic bliss. I watch Emma perfectly at home in my kitchen, cooking for me and I swear I feel something akin to butterflies in my stomach. 

We eat her breakfast and I easily concede that her biscuits are the best I’ve ever tasted and I make her swear not to tell my Nana that I said that. Southern woman can be real protective of their cooking and there ain’t no sense in starting a feud. We spend the rest of the morning cuddling on the couch watching a movie.

Midday, we get ourselves ready, the dogs loaded up, and head on over to my grandparent’s house for lunch at one in the afternoon. This has become a tradition about two years ago to spend Sunday lunch at their house after they get home and settled from church. 

I typically wear my athletic lounge clothes to these lunches but Emma insists on wearing a sundress to make a good impression so I clean up a bit as well. I smile at the thought of her wanting to impress my grandparents.

We make our way up to the porch and I head on inside the unlocked door without knocking.

“Nana? PawPaw?” I holler as we enter the foyer of their home. Aika immediately heads straight for the kitchen since she knows Nana is a pushover for treats and Mills follows enthusiastically.

“Kitchen!” My PawPaw answers.

“I hope it’s alright that I brought company.” I announce as we round the corner into the entryway of the kitchen which memories fill my childhood.

“Oh my god! I’m so glad you brought her! The date must’ve gone better than you told me!” My Nana immediately begins to chirp and I brought my hand over my face as Emma giggles. 

“Hi, I’m Emma. I hope it’s okay that Austin brought me; I’ve heard so many good things about you both.” She says as she extends a hand to my PawPaw and then is forced into a hug by my overzealous grandmother.

“Oh, sweetheart! I’m so glad you’re here. Austin told me you were beautiful but you are just stunning!” Nana flutters and I shake my head in laughable exasperation.

“Nice to see you too, Nana.” I say and she puts her hands on her hips and gives me a look like she’ll scold me in front of everyone. 

“Well get over here and give me a hug then, Grumpy Butt!” I roll my eyes but then give my Nana a hug and then one to my PawPaw who discreetly smacks my shoulder and congratulates me for landing such a beautiful woman. 

“This is Mills.” I say as I scoop up the little garbage disposal who is searching desperately for any crumbs by my grandmother’s stove.

“Aren’t you just a sweetie! Now look at me little fella, here are the rules. No pottying inside the house, and no chewing on my furniture. Oh and don’t go chasing my chickens in the yard. Got that little man?” She asks as if he’ll answer and then reaches for the dog treat container she keeps on her counter for Aika.

“Nana, he’s a puppy. He’s definitely going to at least chase the chickens. Let him have a little fun.” I coax as Mills squirms in my arms in an attempt to get closer to the little grey-haired woman holding up a bacon flavored dog bone. 

“Not after I bribe him with treats! Isn’t that right, angel baby?” She coos as she gives him the treat and one to Aika who barely even chews it. I set Mills down on the floor and quickly realize I might not reach the top three favorite people for Mills after my grandparents and Emma are through with him.

“It smells delicious in here, could you use any help?” Emma offers while gesturing to the food my grandmother has been preparing for us. 

“Oh, honey that would be delightful. Would you mind setting the table? The place settings are there and the plates are in this cabinet here. Austin, why don’t you and PawPaw go take the pups out for a bathroom break before we eat?” Nana essentially shoos us out the door. I give Emma a look that says, ‘I’m sorry for her’ before I follow PawPaw out. Emma giggles and gets started setting the table as I hear Nana already telling Emma to call them Nana and PawPaw before beginning her round of twenty questions. This is going to be a long lunch.

After we make it back inside and I ensure Emma is relatively unscathed from Nana’s well-meaning yet intrusive interrogation, we sit down and relish an enjoyable meal getting to know Emma and catching up about everyone’s week. After we eat, Emma offers to help clean up the kitchen but is kindly denied by my grandmother who insists I take her on a tour of the farm.

“How bad was it?” I ask.

“It wasn’t bad! I’m kind of in love with your grandparents. Your Nana is hilarious.” Oh god, Nana must’ve not filtered herself at all. I love that about her but there is no telling what came out of that woman’s mouth.

“How embarrassed should I be then?” 

“Not at all. Unless you count the story where she told me about you ripping the butt of your new pants while helping your PawPaw repair the cow fence and she stitched them back together while you were still in them.”Jesus Christ.

“Okay, in my defense, I was ten and they didn’t have any clothes here that would fit for me to wear while she fixed them. PawPaw needed help before the rain came in that next day.” Emma laughs and grabs my hand while intertwining our fingers.

“I think it’s cute. I love how much time you spent here as a kid. Both of my grandparents passed away when I was eight, so my memories with them, while still loving and wonderful, are few.”

“Did she beg you to marry me and have my babies before I die old and alone?” I ask somewhat joking but turn serious when I look at Emma’s face.

“Not exactly. She did say that she thought we were perfect together and would make beautiful babies.” She declares with a pink tint to her cheeks.

“Can’t say I’d disagree with that, but I’m so sorry if she made you uncomfortable.” We stop at the edge of one of the fences and look out at the cows and I decide to hug her from behind. She relaxes in my embrace as I take a whiff of her floral scent.

“She didn’t. It’s clear how much she adores you and I love that she was so welcoming and kind to me.” 

“Thanks for coming with me today.” I kiss her temple.

“Thank you for inviting me… and for everything this weekend. It’s been amazing. I’m almost sad for it to end.” She whispers.

“Me too, Sugar. I’m not going anywhere though.” She nods and looks out at the cow pasture.

When we head back inside, Emma excuses herself to the restroom where Nana ambushes me. 

“Oh, Austin. We love her! She is just smitten with you and I’m so glad you both met. She didn’t tell me much about her past, but I can tell that girl has been heartbroken before but she is falling for you. The way she looked at you during lunch just made my heart flutter. Even PawPaw noticed.” She says while pointing to my very taciturn grandfather who didn’t say much even on his most talkative days.

“Don’t scare her away with all of that, Nana. It’s only been a weekend. I do like her and plan to see her again though.” 

“Well praise Jesus!” Nana says with her arms thrown dramatically in the air. I glance at PawPaw who just wears his signature smirk at her dramatics and gives me a wink. Emma returns and after we eat a slice of apple pie that Nana made, we start making our way to the front door. 

“Now Emma dear, you come back here and visit anytime. Even if my grandson doesn’t offer, you come back and have some dinner with us one day, ya hear?” Emma giggles and I can’t help but chuckle at Nana.

“Yes ma’am, I’d love that. Thank you so much for graciously welcoming me. The food was amazing and the company was even better.” Emma says with a smile and hugs Nana. I’m a bit surprised when I see PawPaw extend his arms open for a hug as he’s usually a much more reserved man and gently hugged Emma goodbye. I have no doubts this woman could turn a grizzly into a teddy bear. After hugging my grandparent’s goodbye and leaving with a doggy bag of leftovers for each of us, we load the dogs and ourselves up in my truck and head back to my house.

It’s the middle of the afternoon and Emma told me she needed to run to the grocery store and do some meal prepping for the week, so she gathered up her bag and after she kissed the dogs about four times each, we get back in my truck so I could take her home. Why am I dreading this? I usually enjoy my alone time and crave it but the thought of getting in an empty bed tonight feels strange. We get inside and I offer to carry her bag into the house for her. Mainly, I just want to look around and make sure everything is secure for my own peace of mind. I take her bag all the way to her bedroom and set it on the bench she has at the end of her bed.

“You gonna be alright this week? Feel comfortable staying here alone?” I ask her.

“Mmhmm.” She replies as she wraps her arms around my neck. 

“What do you say we have dinner again on Friday?” 

“That sounds amazing. I’d love too.” She replies with a smile.

“Alright, Sugar. Well I won’t keep you any longer but I’ll text you or call you later tonight if you’d like.”

“Yes please. Now kiss me before you leave.” Emma demands.

“Yes ma’am.” I smirk as I lean down and capture her lips with my own. We make out for a minute or two before Emma leans back to catch her breath. 

“Walk me to the door?” I ask her and she nods while holding my hand. It feels like we are both trying to prolong our time together.

“Got a lot of jobs lined up for the week?” She asks as we walk down the hallway.

“Well, we’re going to finish up the chimney and siding area of that house we were working on last week and should be done by Tuesday afternoon. Tomorrow morning, I’m going to assess some work and give out quotes on three different sites so that should be good. I’m also going to put up a privacy fence at a house a few streets over from here this week. I’ll be busy but nothing too crazy.” I tell her and she nods. Time to go, I remind myself.

“Have a good night darlin’ and be safe out running your errands.” “You too, Sy. Talk to you in a bit.” She says and kisses me before I head out to my truck and drive off. I see her wave goodbye at the door and know that I’m not going to be able to wait until Friday to see her again. 

Part 9

Taglist: Taglist: @shellyshellshell, @henryownsme, @caramariehurst, @beck07990, @mollymal, @kingliam2019, @syversonswife, @identity2212, @starfirewildheart, @hannah9921, @wa-ni, @kneelforloki, @cutedoxie, @enchantedbytomandhenry, @foxyjwls007, @geralts-yenn, @courtlynwriter, @corrie1013, @squeezyvalkyrie, @summersong69, @livisss, @mayloma, @uunotheangel, @warriormirkwood

[sweatervest-obsessed]

Salvia Splendens Means Forever Mine - Part Four

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

WC: 2.5k

TW: kissing, pg-13 thoughts, pg-18 thoughts, talk of sex, mentions of death, trauma of death, lots of flowers, mentions of violence, basically anything mentioned in the last chapter is a tw here

A/N: God thank you all for being so fucking patient with me. I really appreciate you all!! I hope you enjoy!!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Spencer’s lips were on your shoulder as he tightened his grip on you. His arm was wrapped securely around your waist, your back against his chest. You grumbled something unintelligible, but Spencer just hummed in response, kissing your bare shoulder again. 

“What are we going to do with you Doctor Spencer Reid.” 

He laughed quietly, his voice still gravely since he also just woke up. 

Mornings with Spencer always went like this. The two of you had been living together for over a month now, and you couldn’t be happier. Waking up next to the love of your life had major benefits. 

The first was morning sex. Waking up to Spencer kissing your neck, and your chest, and lips. Lazily breathing together, moving with one another. Feeling as his chest rose and fell while you riled him up and teased him endlessly. It was incredible. People seemed to notice your mood change when you showed up to work too, which definitely had its own set of perks. It was basically the best way to wake up, in your opinion. 

Then, there was the fact that you got to wake up and enjoy how gorgeous he was, how beautiful his eyes were. Watching as he finally was able to relax, stress free putty in your hands, melting as you played with his hair and whispered about nothing and everything to him. 

But the best part about waking up next to Spence, was that you got to start your days with him, knowing you’d get to come back home after work, sleep beside him, and wake up next to him all over again. It felt surreal at times. 

“What’s going on in that head of yours? I can hear the gears turning.” Spence muttered, kissing your shoulder this time. 

Your body rolled in his arms, causing you to face him, kissing his cheek softly. “How much I love you.” 

You felt Spencer freeze for a moment, and you looked up to find his eyes on you. 

“You…”

“You don’t have to say it back Spence.” You slid your hand up, and cupped his jaw. “It’s a really big commitment. But you not saying it immediately back doesn’t mean you don’t care about me or don’t love me back. You might just not be ready to say it out lou–”

“Look who’s the one rambling now?” He smirked slightly, making fun of your conversation from the previous night, in which you cut him off with a kiss when he was too busy telling you about something that wasn’t relevant to the task at hand. Spencer followed your model and cut you off with a kiss that you melted into. “I love you too.” 

______________________________________________________________

Spencer had been sitting next to your hospital bed for a whole day now. He was exhausted, hungry, dehydrated, covered in blood, and looked like shit–but none of that mattered since you had been in a medically-induced coma since the ambulance brought you to the hospital. 

Watching as you coded not one, but twice during the ride to the hospital just continued to confirm Spencer’s greatest fear. Hearing your heartbeat flatline is something he never ever wants to experience again. Ever.

The room was filled with vases of flowers. It made the air sickly sweet, the bitter opposite of how he was feeling, looking down at your sleeping body. But he knows you would have found some of them funny. 

There was a vase of red and white camellias, meaning you were the “flame” of someone’s heart, but also adorable. Someone else had sent you declarations of love (red tulips) with hints of declaring war (tansies) throughout. But the one from Spencer was the best. 

He had bought you a bouquet of red poppies: meaning consolation. Spencer had gotten you a consolation prize for being on the team and getting stabbed in the stomach. He was hoping your sense of humor would still be intact when you woke up. If not, then they were also from Derek. 

Just then, the machine made a sound Spencer hadn’t heard before. Then it made it again. A long beep, loud enough to wake the dead, but somehow not you. A nurse came running in and ushered him out of the room, much to his opposition. 

He fought with two different nurses, trying to stay in the room with you. Apparently having three Phds means nothing when they aren’t the right ones to keep him in that room with you. And regardless of his relationship status, he was now stuck back in the waiting room with the other peasants. 

“So….”

Spencer looked up at Derek. 

“So?”

“How long.”

“Not in the mood right now Derek.” 

“No, no. I wanna know–how long have you two been sneakin’ around. I mean, for gods sake Reid, you managed to keep a relationship hidden from some of the best profilers in the country..” 

“Well.” He grumbled, looking back at the hallway you were down. “Over a year now–almost two.” 

“I’m sorry–two? Two years?.” 

Spencer nodded, looking back at Derek. 

“Damn.” He muttered,  shaking his head. “Now I–”

Whatever Derek was going to say was paused when a nurse walked in, a slight splatter of blood over her scrubs. Both of them turned their attention to her, fearing the worst by the solemn look on her face. 

“She’s awake.” 

“Holy shit.” Derek mumbled while Spencer let out a breath he had been holding for what felt like millenia. 

“But.” The nurse continued. “She can only see one person at a time. And she’s asking for Agent Hotchner.” 

Neither of them had realized that the solemn looking section chief was sitting quietly in the corner. Derek and Spencer shared a look with another, while Hotch got up from his chair and followed the nurse down the hallway and into your room. 

“Aaron.” You smiled at him, though it was an exhausted smile. “Thought you’d come in with blood on your shirt from having to fight through Spencer and Derek.” 

Hotch chuckled and closed the door behind him, sitting down next to you and placing a hand on yours, squeezing it. “The nurse shot them both a look and told them ‘not to try anything’. But I do have to ask, why me.” 

You closed your eyes. “I want to give you my recount of what happened while I can still see it.” 

“Y/n you do–”

“Hotch I want to. I watched as she stabbed that woman over and over. I watched as that asshole buried her body. I want to tell you what I saw. I want to tell you so that there’s no fucking way either of them will ever see the light of day again.” 

Hotch didn’t feel like now was the appropriate time to mention that one of the unsubs was dead. He wanted to hear your memory of the events. He pulled out a mini black notebook, and a pen, from inside his suit jacket pocket. “Whenever you’re ready Y/N.” 

______________________________________________________________

“Hello everyone, my name is Doctor Y/n Y/l/n, and I am going to be your speaker today. I have been with the BAU for about a month, and they wanted me to come in and speak to you about it—a newbie’s experience.” 

That earned you a couple of laughs scattered throughout the crowd. You were asked to come in and speak about what it’s like to join the BAU to anyone interested in becoming profilers. You were not expecting for it to be a full house, but every single seat had someone in it, with overflow huddling around the back of the lecture hall by the walls. 

“Now, I’ll try to stay within my time limit since I know standing and listening to someone blab on about themselves is not the ideal situation; however. That’s exactly what you signed up for. So–.” 

Spencer stood in the back of the room, watching you speak to all of these students with ease–your peers really. Some of them even older than you, and yet, there you were, confidently smiling and maintaining their interest. It baffled Spencer. 

He wished he knew how you were able to captivate so easily, especially since he was completely enamored by you. Derek knew it too—well the whole team really knew, except for you. 

The crowds laugh pulled him out of his thoughts as you continued on. 

“Right. Now.” You clicked the little clicker and the pictures shifted behind you. “It’s time to get serious. I know I said that already, but I mean it this time.” You smirked a little bit and went onto the next slide. 

“The first case I ever worked with the BAU, I was just a temp filling in Elle Greenaway while she was away on some family matter. I was assisting in some case where—”

Spencer’s train of thought got the better of him. All he could do was think about the day you subbed in for Elle. He could remember it like yesterday, even though it was almost forty days ago, not that he was counting. He didn’t remember much of the case though, which was a sore subject that Derek and JJ would tease him about still. 

“Does anyone have any questions about the process?” Your voice brought him back to the lecture hall once again. 

“How old are you?” Some random guy’s voice rang out amongst the crowd. 

“Well.” You laughed. “I’m twenty-two.” 

Spencer heard some of the people around murmur, and he chose to ignore whatever they were saying about you, since he wasn’t one to win most fights.

“Why the BAU?” 

You paused and bit your cheek, thinking really hard about that question. 

“Honestly? I was obsessed with the serial killer documentaries when I was like fifteen/sixteen, and then one of my family members was murdered when I was fourteen. It’s not something I talk about a lot, but I remember my biggest question was why. It’s why I was so obsessed with those documentaries, because I wanted to know why someone felt that they could just take someone away from a family, from the world, and I realized that the only way I could find out the answer was if I did it myself.” 

There was a murmuring throughout the crowd once again. 

“I don’t think I’ll find the answer any time soon, if at all. But I love being able to protect people. I love being able to know that what I’m doing every day matters–to everyone sure, but mostly to me.” 

Spencer, and the rest of the team, had no idea you were connected to such a tragic event at such a young age. You didn’t show the signs of someone who had gone through something like that. But now that he knew, he wanted to find out everything about it, find a way to bing you peace of mind. God, it sounded so stupid. He barely even knew you. 

He was lucky you were extraverted in that since he could barely form a sentence around you. God he couldn’t wait to listen to you talk to him on the car ride back to the BAU. 

______________________________________________________________

You ended up talking to Spencer last. 

One by one you smiled at your friends, reassured them you were feeling better, and told them you would rest. 

But then, Spencer was standing in the doorway, and he was looking at you with such pain, with such distraughtness, that tears started to stream out of your eyes–you didn’t notice. But Spencer did. He quickly closed the door behind him and walked over to the bed. Clasping your hand in his, he used his other hand to wipe away the tears on your cheeks. “Sweetheat, baby, it’s okay. I’ve got you. It’s okay.” He whispered, trying to provide you with some comfort. 

“Did…Did you get my necklace back…” 

That was not where Spencer thought this conversation was going. “I–”

“Be-Because I can't ... .Spence I’m so sorry. She just snatched it off of my neck while I was unconscious and, and, and she put it on, and fuck–”

Spencer squeezed your hand, causing your rampage to stop, but the tears pushed on. “We have it.” He said quietly. “There’s no way in hell I’m ever letting anyone else take that necklace okay?” 

You nodded and used your other hand to wipe at your cheeks, managing to get rid of the tears. 

Spencer kissed your hand again. “It’s at home, right on the kitchen counter. I got it professionally cleaned and everything.” 

You nodded and sighed. After a moment of silence, you peered around his frame, taking in all of the flowers and balloons and cards that people had left you. 

“wow…This is…”

“A lot?”

You nodded, brows furrowing as you bit the inside of your cheek. Spencer watched as your eyes slowly scanned across the flowers in the room, landing on the bouquet from Derek. 

“Is someone trying to declare war on me?” Your laugh was a bit garbled as you swallowed down the rest of your tears, trying desperately to change the subject. 

“Morgan thought you would think that was funny.” He whispered, his eyes only focused on you. On the way your lips parted when a particular inhale hurt your chest since they had only taken the catheter out an hour ago, or the way your chest rose and fell, the bruises scattered across were blooming into nasty blues, purples, and greens. 

“Who got me poppies?” 

Spencer met your eyes, a small cheeky smile on his lips. 

You slapped his arm with no mirth behind it, a grin spread widely across your face. “I’m sorry. But did you get me a consolation prize for surviving?” 

Spencer nodded, watching as you laughed to yourself, wincing when it would hurt a bit too much. “I love them, Spence.” 

“Good.”

“I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

There were more flowers you couldn’t see, at your home. There was vase upon vase, filled with plenty of flowers for you to decode their accidental (or purposeful) messages, each with their own ‘get well!’ card attached. There was only one bouquet that mattered above the rest, made of completely fake flowers. There were bright red Salvia Splendens, contrasting against the white of the kitchen counter, waiting for you to come home and see them. 

Spencer had thought that he should buy you flowers that lasted forever, just as long as his love would, just as long as he would forever be yours.  

______________________________________________________________

SSMFM Taglist: @raely-study @multifandoms-assemble @marylovesevanpeters@shqwqrma @niya06 @freefallthoughts @fansformentalydistroyedmen @r-3dlips @xholdinmebackxx @universallyblizzardlove

Reid Taglist: @s1lariathas

[trixree]

he is RISEN baby girl

hello hello! yes i'm alive, just very mentally ill. things are on the up and up and i have mega brainrot right now so i decided to try and get back on the "being a person" horse. you may see i've just posted some poolverine smut to AO3 here.

if you've sent me messages during my year hiatus (especially regarding commissions) I love and appreciate you and will be responding SOON, i PROMISE!

long ramble about where i'm at/life update below the cut.

May of 2023, I graduated with my masters. yaaay woo but also booo because it didn't help me get a job at all! i finally landed a paying gig in September of 2023 after sending out quite literally hundreds of applications. i only had two interviews total and a mountain of auto-rejections to show for it and it took an immense toll on my mental health. It started what was (in hindsight) a year of a prolonged downward spiral.

i already really struggled with self worth and turns out riding the merry-go-round of job hunting rejection cranked my depression up to new heights. for the first time in a long time, i found myself so low as to be entertaining thoughts of suicide. my eating disorder peaked the hardest it has since high school. i had also moved out of my parents house and in with my partner May of 2023 and was readjusting to being out of a traumatic environment. i had panic attacks anytime he came into a room too quietly and surprised me for months. I found myself isolated from most of my friends (partly because of my own communication death-spiral depression paralysis) and also because i moved to a different city than all of them to live with my partner again (0 complaints there, i love the city i live in and love my home with my partner and our bird children. however i miss my fucking friends, and the loneliness compounded the Despair Arc i was having.) My fucking health insurance changed because my previous policy holder retired and i lost some medications for a period of time, stressing my body in bad ways. a really bad spell of migraines compounded things chemically for the worst.

i borrowed some money to return to my therapist and my doc recently upped my antidepressant dose, and I can tell that both of those things but ESPECIALLY that last one there has helped already. My partner, closest friends, and even some coworkers have said I seem much better, too. I'm hopeful about it. Optimistic, even!

i did get a job working for a behavioral health nonprofit that provides outpatient psychiatric services in administration. It pays in fucking sheckles and pennies (nonprofits be like) and psych is a challenging environment to say the least. it was another 6-month fight to hammer out disability accommodations with HR. my body is a machine that consumes paid leave. as any of you that have danced an accommdations dance can probably attest, it sucks so goddamn bad. i had basically round after round of requests for my doctors to fill out paperwork that amounted to "will they get better? Are you sure? Alright, please estimate how often this person will need this accommodation in hours per week." of course it took an immense mental health toll, too. i kick ass at what i do and i do it chronically understaffed but it's really hard to feel secure anywhere when you're constantly missing work due to uncontrollable Body Bad Times (migraine, explosive diarrhea, uncontrollable vomiting, my three horsemen). especially if someone has a grudge, and someone did, which added extra layers of complexity.

i'll be honest, it's good to have something to get out of bed to go do 5/7 days of the week (i was going stir crazy without employment) but i'm running myself ragged and barely making it financially. not only was this body i have NOT built for an 8-5, i have less than 15$ to my name right now to show for it and i keep having to borrow money from my family for medication. but i truly love the people i work with and feel like i get to do good for my community where i'm at, and that's something folks!

speaking of health, i kind of got my gut stuff figured out? not really. but also yes! i don't have a diagnosis of any kind but i have a treatment that's WORKING for the constant nausea i was always blogging about last year. my GI put me on domperidone before meals and oh my god, total fucking game changer. no longer am i burping up half-digested food and walking around with 24/7 debilitating nausea AND my appetite even kicks in when i take the damn pills!!! the only down side is that domperidone is not FDA approved in the USofA because of sudden cardiac failure or what the fuck ever so i have to pay out of pocket for all of it. that's a good 150$ per month on top of all my other medication, so that's a bummer. but god, to have something that works!!! it's been so nice. no sudden heart failure yet, fingers crossed.

i have really bad executive dysfunction when it comes to responding to messages (i currently have 100+ unread text messages from friends and family) but i'm challenging myself to work through my backlog of messages in the coming days, so stay tuned if you've DM'd me in the last year. thank you for thinking of me and i appreciate you endlessly.

as for commissions, my life is just too unpredictable for me to be as consistent with those as i'd wanted to be. as much as having the bonus income was really amazing, i just feel like i'm too flakey and unreliable to deliver on that regularly and that's just a shitty thing to do to someone. (please check your DMs if this describes an interaction we had with me.)

i'm sorry if this decision is disappointing to anyone, but i think i'm going to stick to having a kofi live if folks feel inclined to show appreciation for any fic i post and maybe taking a comm very very rarely, once in a blue moon when circumstances allow. I do want to honor anyone that messaged me about a comm during my year hiatus. Please check your DMs. for my casual reader: none of my current projects on AO3 are abandoned. i've never stopped working on them this past year, even if it has only been in my notes app. i really want to start posting more regularly again. i miss the outlet immensely. I think it's good for me, creatively and for a sense of community. i hope you all understand and thank you. thanks for still being here.

[d-criss-news]

Actor Darren Criss Discusses Bringing ‘Maybe Happy Ending’ To Broadway

[UHQ] Darren Criss attends the "Maybe Happy Ending" Broadway photo call at Tempo by Hilton New York Times Square on September 16, 2024 in New York City. (Photo by Dia Dipasupil/Getty Images)

“An original, new musical on Broadway - can you believe that?”

That is the excitement that Emmy and Golden Globe-winning actor Darren Criss brought to our new conversation this week about his Maybe Happy Endingproduction coming to Broadway, with previews starting October 16 and its opening night set for November 12.

Previously known for his memorable performances on hit television series like Glee and The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story, as well as his previous involvement in celebrated live theatre productions including American Buffalo, Hedwig and the Angry Inch and Little Shop of Horrors, Criss, 37, is now preparing to play Oliver on-stage, a robot referred to as a Helperbot 3 that has been long retired and is considered obsolete, now spending his days in isolation in his one-room apartment on the outskirts of Seoul, South Korea. That all changes when Oliver forms an unlikely connection with a fellow Helperbot neighbor named Claire (played by Helen J Shen).

I sat down with Criss in New York City, New York, just down the street from his Maybe Happy Ending’s upcoming Belasco Theatre venue, wondering first how this production and his interest in this rather unique character of Oliver initially got on his radar.

Criss said, “Two men that I’m very grateful for in my life, Mr. Jeffrey Richards, whose the lead producer of the show, who I have had a long standing relationship, as far as doing theatre on Broadway is concerned. We came in contact more than a decade ago when we were doing a reading of American Buffalo, which I would do basically a decade later with him. He’s always sent me cool things and cool projects. Separately, Michael Arden has been a friend for a very long day. He has been in sort of more my friends circle than my professional circle - I went to college with his husband. I’ve seen almost every single thing he’s ever directed - I think I missed one thing. These are two guys that I have always admired and appreciated, as far as their output was in the theatre community. The Venn diagrams became one circle when Jeffrey sent me an email about this several years ago. Michael was a part of it and wherever Michael is, I run!”

Being a musical set in Asia and Criss being half-Filipino himself, with several other Asian artists working alongside him on this project, I was curious if Criss takes extra pride in being able to tell a story like Maybe Happy Ending live on on-stage and soon get to share it with our world.

“Of course, I do,” Criss said. “There’s obviously a huge amount of personal ‘woo-hoo’ to the idea that this is predominantly an Asian, Asian-American company - on-stage and off-stage - but I’m always weary to categorize this as an Asian show or an Asian story. This production happens to celebrate and represent Asian-ness to a really fun degree, but there’s so much universal-ness to it and accessibility to the story that I hope in perpetuity, this is something that can be done anywhere, with anyone, at any time. I don’t think I’m trying to say that to be inclusive of all things and people. It’s me being pragmatic - this is a story about a future world - about sentient robots that really doesn’t have any particular cultural background, other than the cultural background of technology, which is based in the human experience.”

Criss added with his Maybe Happy Ending collaborators in mind: “I think all of us enjoy sharing our sort of Asian heritage with each other, and obviously, that’s a large spectrum - that’s not one thing. So, there’s already an eclecticism between all of our Asian experiences that’s fun to bring to the table. Yes, it does take place in Seoul, it is from South Korea, but this show has already had great success in Korea, Japan and China - which while all Asian, make no mistake - are very different cultures. So, if that’s any indication of the ability for this show to resonate with all people, then I think we’re in good shape.”

He is not the only person on this production embracing this collective experience. Shen says of interactions so far with co-star Criss, “I think he’s been really generous with his energy and his time. As a person who, I can sometimes feel a little young in this space, I feel like I’m new to this. I’m making my Broadway debut - there’s a lot of imposter syndrome and words of doubt that can be flooding my brain. He is always the first person to say, ‘You belong here. You deserve to be here. You’ve worked very hard - and just breathe and take up space.’ That has been so invaluable to have somebody understand what this feeling can be, of how scary and overwhelming it can be, and be like, ‘This is an exciting moment! We’re present here - let’s soak it in!’ He’s been such a champion of that.”

Arden, who is the director of Maybe Happy Ending, said of Criss, “Darren is so incredible. He can do everything - it’s really somewhat annoying. He understands things from the inside out and the outside in - and so, to meet him and the rest of this company, honestly, in the process, it just means that we get to kind of like create this thing together. It’s not like my vision upon them - it’s something that we can all create together.”

Hue Park and Will Aronson, who have led the way with the music and lyrics in Maybe Happy Ending, have nothing but respect and admiration to say about Criss.

Park said, “I think he’s just perfect for the role - his sense of humor, his acting skills, his sensibility creating this character based on our text and music. It’s just so exciting to see.”

Aronson added of Criss: “He has a boyish innocence, which really is perfect for this show - and his creativity. The great thing about live theatre is that it’s already true in the rehearsal room - it’ll be true in the theatre, once it’s running - that the actors are creating it every time they perform it, meaning that the jokes are different every time, even if the text is the same. The chemistry is different, depending on what the actors are creating in their scene together. The cast is just incredible, so of course, they’re finding that and they’re creating that.”

Dez Duron, who plays Gil in Maybe Happy Ending, said of Criss’s character and his performance so far, “Oliver is a really big role - he’s on-stage pretty much the whole time. I’ve been loving watching him tackle this role, and explore it and discover it. I’ve been a part of this project for five years, so watching [Criss] kind of like get into the script and the changes he’s bringing to it and the new life he’s breathing into it has been really inspiring to watch.”

Marcus Choi, who plays James in the new musical, said of his co-star, “So, Darren Criss has always been on my radar - we’re all very familiar with his body of work. He’s been incredible for so long, but when I got a chance to go to Elsie Fest last weekend, I really got to see him shine. He is just such a force on-stage and just oozes charisma. I mean, I’ve always been a fan but I just have a deep appreciation for him now and just how hard he works.”

Even though this can be perceived as a sci-fi production, being that it centers around robots that are no longer seen of use in the world, I asked Criss if he sees the parallels towards humanity within our real world with this story about love and still finding connection.

Darren said, “Yes! The Helperbots in our show are somewhere between servants, pets and children - and old folks. If we did a show about old folks in a home, it might hit a little too close to home - it might be a little too on the nose. I think some of the most human themes that I’ve been taken with are stories about cartoon animals or toys - things that represent the human experience in a way that I actually am more likely to internalize and pick up on. So, I think that’s what one of the great devices of the show is - to sort of displace the human experience through that of a sentient robot. Yes, we all - surprise, surprise - we all have a shelf life. We are all at some point going to be, in the eyes of society, obsolete in some respect. We all have a battery life. This is less talking about the idea of mortality and concept of transience, and the idea that we can only spend our battery life on so much, thinking about What are you going to spend your battery life on? So yes, that is going to hit audiences, hopefully, in a profound way.”

As I concluded my conversation with Criss about his Maybe Happy Ending Broadway production, I wondered what Criss would want to say to Oliver, after embodying him so far in rehearsals, continuing to better understand the character and preparing to share his compassionate story with our world throughout the fall season and beyond.

Criss said, “The same thing that I think hopefully the show will posit, which is - It’ll be okay. It’ll always be okay.”

[featheredenby]

Ransom

“You should drink more water.”

“You kidnapped me from my own house and blind folded me so that I can’t see you, just to bait heroes to come here.” Grian says, “I don’t think that you get to give me health tips.”

“To be fair there are a lot of people who would treat you a lot worse in a kidnapping.”

Written by: FeatheredEnby

Word Count: 2,368

Part Nine of: Show Your Fangs

A Superhero AU of Empires SMP/Hermitcraft/The Life Series/Artimator SMP

As the wind blows a missing poster flies into Scar’s face of course things like that happen when you’re on a roof but he needs to find Grian and for that it’s likely best to consult Grian’s other friends. As he only has one clue so far, a text message, “Whatever you do don’t trust C-Fire.” Scar climbs down from the roof and makes his way to Mumbo’s house where upon arrival he finds not only Mumbo but also Cleo. 

“Hotguy,” she says coldly upon seeing him, “What do you want?”

Stay in character Scar, “I’m looking into the recent disappearance of Grian Helios, I’m told that you two are close to him.”

“That would be correct.” Cleo tells him in an icy tone, “but why are you looking into this instead of the cops? Or his family members?”

Okay, I wasn't expecting that reaction. “Well it’s likely that this disappearance has something to do with the villains in this city and I don’t believe that his family members are well suited to deal with this.”

“Well you would be wrong in that regard as me, Mumbo, his half brother, his half brother’s boyfriend, his half brother’s adopted sister, and one of his coworkers are all working together to find him.” They inform Scar, “And you will find that all of us are perfectly competent so unless you have anything of value to give it would be best for you to leave.”

Scar could show her the text message but that would mean them learning that he’s Hotguy. At this point however when Grian has been missing for just over three days it’s worth it. “I have something that could be helpful.”

“Really?” Cleo asks skeptically.

“Yeah. Can I come in?”

“Sure.” Mumbo pipes up.

-

“So you mean to tell me that you are Scar. As in the same Scar who is Grian’s roommate. And you also mean to tell me that the last text that he sent you on the night that he was kidnapped is not to trust the vigilante C-Fire?” Cleo asks.

“Yep that’s pretty much it, but I would appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone.”

“Hm…”

“So where are you in the process of finding Grian?” Scar asks.

“We’re not doing very well, Mumbo?”

“Yeah,” Mumbo agrees, “I’ve been trying to hack into any files that could help figure out who took him but nothing has come up.”

“Wait what? Mumbo I know that you’re good with coding but how are you hacking into secure files?”

“Good point. Good point. But uhm, I would like to inform you that I did at one point hack into the comm system of the GFHA. As Well as getting into the files of the GFHA’s villain data.” Mumbo informs him.

“I’m sorry you did what?!?”

“Basically he’s the best hacker that we know.” Cleo tells Scar.

Knock. Knock. “Come in.” Mumbo says. Scar looks up and sees a strange assortment of people entering the room. First there’s the vigilante The Mayor and Grian’s coworker Joel and then there’s Cromia and Jimmy. The shock on The Mayor’s face is just too much. “Cleo,” she says, “You didn’t say that he Would be here.”

“That’s true I didn’t,” Cleo admits, “however I also didn’t know that he would be here and he brought information that could link the vigilante C-Fire to Grian’s disappearance.” 

“Mhm, and we should trust him because?” Cromia asks.

“Uh,” Cleo looks over at Scar, “Our dear friend Hotguy over here happens to know Grian personally. That’s all I’m saying on the subject matter.”

“Your point is? We all do.” The Mayor says.

“The point is that we all have a common goal, now does anyone have a clue where Pearl is?”

“Nope,” Jimmy says, “Something might have extended her shift at the hospital.”

“Okay then. Well we’re gonna split into groups, Mumbo’s gonna stay here and keep trying to find info online, Cromia you’re gonna go with Hotguy to keep an eye out at the park, Jimmy you and The Mayor are going to patrol the downtown area, and I’m gonna go over to the area’s where villains were last spotted.” They explain, “Got it. Good”

They break off into their groups and Cromia looks at Scar, “For the record I still don’t trust you.”

-

“You should drink more water.”

“You kidnapped me from my own house and blind folded me so that I can’t see you, just to bait heroes to come here.” Grian says, “I don’t think that you get to give me health tips.”

“To be fair there are a lot of people who would treat you a lot worse in a kidnapping.”

“True, but for all you know I’ve been able to scout out your hideout this whole time.” Grian tells him.

“Ha! Like you’d be able to do that our entire group is mutants and hybrids. You’re human and don’t have any powers.”

“Maybe that’s what you think,” Grian says while opening his incorporeal eyes and looking around the room, “I can tell practically everything that’s going on around me.”

“Uhm, and what exactly can you tell?”

“First of all I can tell that you aren’t wearing your disguise but you still have your mask on just in case my blindfold slips off. Second I know that the other two are watching this from over in the corner. Finally I know that I could easily take you all out as The Red Hand has bullet wounds in his wing and foot, C-Fire’s scythe is in the other room so she would only be able to use fire manipulation, and The Red King, who I’m assuming is the person that I’m talking to, is still dealing with the unpleasant side effects of a magically induced concussion.”

“How exactly did you know all of that?” The Red King asks him.

“Now why would I tell you that?” Grian responds, “Telling you that would just reveal information that you don’t need to know about me.”

“Maybe because you’re stuck in our hideout and completely at our mercy?” 

“Hm… Doesn’t seem like I’ll be for much longer though.” Grian says while checking around the perimeter and seeing Cromia and Hotguy coming around the corner.

“And why do you say that you’ve been missing for three days, what makes you think that will happen?”

To this Grian just laughs it’s not like these people will see that some of the local heroes and vigilantes are fast approaching the building. Now that Grian has backup and can easily get rid of these idiot’s memories about his secret identity it’s probably a good time to get on his costume. “Welp I gotta bounce.”

“What do you mean? You’re tied up and blindfolded.”

“Heh, that’s what you think.”

“What the-”

“𝙹ꖌᔑ|| ᓭ𝙹 i ᓭℸ ̣ ╎ꖎꖎ ↸𝙹リ'ℸ ̣  ᑑ⚍╎ℸ ̣ ᒷ ⚍リ↸ᒷ∷ᓭℸ ̣ ᔑリ↸ ℸ ̣ ⍑╎ᓭ ʖ⚍ℸ ̣  ╎ℸ ̣  ∴𝙹⚍ꖎ↸ ʖᒷ ∷ᒷᔑꖎ リ╎ᓵᒷ ╎⎓ ╎ ᓵ𝙹⚍ꖎ↸ ⊣ᒷℸ ̣  ᒲ|| ᓵ𝙹ᓭℸ ̣ ⚍ᒲᒷ.”

Just like that once again a purple light shoots from from Grian’s hands and just like at the masquerade party Grian is instantly in his Poultry Man costume. Within a second Grian uses his talons to unbind his wrists before ripping off his blindfold and running at The Red King. “What the you’re-” The Red King starts to stammer before Grian once again knocks him out. The Hand runs to tackle him but ends up tripping and getting his leg caught under a piece of flying rubble as Grian fires a grenade from a slingshot at him. At this point Hotguy and Cromia come bursting through the door, “Grian we’re- what the?!?”

“How did this happen!?!” Cromia screams.

“Don’t question it, I got him out of here!” Grian tells them, “Just get C-Fire!”

The “vigilante” is running over to her cherry blossom covered scythe and as she swoops down to grab it she narrowly misses an arrow that flies past her head. “Ugh… Jerk!” She yells as she throws her scythe at Cromia, he ducks down and the weapon’s handle hits his antlers before crashing to the floor. Within a moment Cromia sends an arrow from his own bow right back at her only for her to dodge and throw a fireball right back at him. As Cromia rolls away to dodge it Hotguy runs at C-Fire who is going to retrieve the scythe and Grian flies down to try and pick it up. C-Fire reaches the scythe first and swipes it up before turning around and hitting Hotguy with its handle before spinning it in the air and slicing his side with it. “Hotguy!” Grian screams while swooping down and out of instinct grabbing his gun and shooting at C-Fire hitting her in the arm before she runs away. Grian lands next to Hotguy and clutches onto him, “Oh no,” Grian whispers, “NO! Not again… not again.”

“I’m fine,” Hotguy reassures him, “Really I’m fi-”

-

That high pitched beep that happens when a character wakes up in a movie plays.

Grian watches as Hotguy’s eyes flutter open as he lays down on a couch in the employee’s lounge of Cleo’s cafe. Hotguy attempts to sit up only to have to lay back down because of the bandage around his waist. Grian picks up a cup of tea that he made for him and hands it over, “Hey,” Grian says gently, “How are you feeling?”

“Not the best,” Hotguy admits, “What exactly happened again- Wait your-”

“Cuteguy?” Grian finishes.

“Wait, so why did you stop being Cuteguy to be Poultry Man?” He asks.

“Well, I’m sure that you remember the incident that happened a few months ago.”

“Yeah, what about it?”

“Well the whole idea that I had almost killed you kind of weighed down on me. But if you didn’t know that I was the person who almost killed you you couldn’t hate me.” Grian explains as his eyes start tearing up. 

“I don’t hate you.”

“I know I was being stupid, now can I finish my story?” Grian asks.

“Right, sorry.”

“I tore up my Cuteguy costume and used the symbol from the chest as a patch on an old pair of pants. Then I grabbed some supplies and headed out to remeet you. A week or so later of course there was the masquerade and I went in a drag costume so even then people wouldn’t recognise me, we talked some and then the fight happened. Afterward I was incredibly concerned for everyone who was there, especially for the people who I either knew their identities or who I cared about more about.”

“Like?”

“Well like my roommate or my coworkers,” Grian says, “But back on track, I heard that Grian Helios went missing and quite a few of the other vigilantes started to try and track him down. I normally work alone as Poultry Man and after the incident I got new powers from the magic possession mushroom shit. I used them to find him quicker, then of course the fight from earlier today happened and I was concerned that you would once again almost die. I forgot about being careful about my secrets and did my best to save you. I didn’t want to relive what had previously happened.”

Grian finishes talking and there’s silence until Hotguy speaks up, “You didn’t happen to see under my mask did you?”

“No, all though I will admit that I considered looking to see who you are.”

“Then why didn’t you?” Hotguy asks him.

“It’s not my secret to know, just like how I told you that I’m Cuteguy, that was my secret to tell. But I would only expect you to tell me who you are if you somehow learned who I am.” Grian explains.

“Hm… Are you gonna start being Cuteguy again?” 

“I don’t know.”

“Let me know if you do, okay?”

“Sure,” Grian tells him while standing up, “I talked to Cleo by the way, they’re willing to let you stay here until tomorrow if needed.”

“Okay, thanks for letting me know.”

“You’re welcome, Also… Thank you.”

-

Scar stands in front of the door to his apartment as he considers the conversation that he had with Poultry Man or well Cuteguy earlier. He could have seen who Scar is but he didn’t look, this is the second time that Scar almost died due to The Red Ones. It’s quite possible that either Cleo or Mumbo will just tell him that Scar is Hotguy but he doubts it, however there's someone else who Scar should probably tell. He shakily walks through the door and to his delight sees Grian sitting wrapped in a blanket on the couch. As Scar walks in, Grian looks up at him and smiles, “Hi Scar.”

“Grian!” Scar yells happily as he heads over, “Are you okay?”

“I mean the whole kidnapping thing was a lot to handle but I feel fine now.”

“Are you sure?” He asks while sitting down.

“Yeah really, I feel fine. Honestly it was kind of weird, The Red King tried to tell me that I don’t drink enough water.”

“Wait really?”

“Yep, I think that they were just trying to lure people there.”

“Hm…”

“You good Scar?” Grian asks.

“I- I think I know why this all happened.” Scar tells him.

“What do you mean?”

“I- I have something to tell you.”

“Which is?”

“Okay so you know how they kidnapped you?” Scar explains.

“Scar, I think that I know I was kidnapped.” 

“Can you keep a secret G?”

“Scar, you have no idea how many secrets I’ve kept.” Grian says.

“I- okay. I’m, actually nevermind.” Scar says.

“Okay?” Grian says in a confused tone.

“What?” Scar asks.

“Sorry, Sorry,” Grian laughs, “I was just expecting some sort of big reveal.”

“That makes sense.”

“So, you want to binge watch the life game movies tomorrow?” Grian asks.

“Sure, should we invite any of the others?”

“Totally.”

Okay maybe Scar was being a coward to not admit it, but to be fair that would probably break the contract that he signed with the GFHA. The last thing that Scar needs is to become a public enemy for breaking his contract.

[jmtorres]

Hi, this is random, but would you mind sharing more about your gut issues/long covid? (I.e. diagnosis, treatment). I have chronic fatigue, and gut issues that are definitely linked to that, but all of my doctors are being extremely useless about it. (No worries if this is not the kind of info you want to share with a total stranger on the internet)

(This is in reference to my comment on this post)

@reptilerex I appreciate you recognizing the sensitivity of this ask, I am going to go ahead and answer it because I feel like the likelihood that you or someone you know (or even others of my readers) are struggling with long covid and finding adequate medical help vastly outweighs the minuscule probability that you've hacked into HIPAA records and are planning to dox me lol

so in the immediate aftermath of my first bout of covid (despite vaxxing and masking regularly, I'm up to two now 😭) my obvious symptoms were fatigue – going to the grocery store would wear me out for 2+ days – and a 20 year-old scar from a car accident reopened, which sounds like some scurvy ass bullshit, and I do wonder if the fact that my friend @niqaeli, who knew that long covid symptoms are highly correlated with MCAS symptoms and was encouraging me to start MCAS otc treatments like vitamin C supplements, helped. (worth noting that while I didn't hear anything about old scars reopening as a covid/post covid thing before it happened to me, but when I told people about it, they were like "oh yeah, that happened to me or someone I know" SO often) My doctor sent me to a wound specialist for that, and they kept poking it trying to figure out if there was some embedded shrapnel that they hadn't realized was in there originally, but ultimately it just healed back over much redder and angrier than the first time.

so then, the fatigue. My doctor had me wait three months because it wasn't officially long covid until three months. obnoxious as hell. I found out the DMV accepts long covid for a disability placard reason and got my doctor to write me a DMV form about how I couldn't walk hardly any distance. she was willing to do that before the three month mark.

I was Johnny on the spot coming back three months after, the first thing she did was send me for a chest x-ray because the obvious/expected reason for fatigue is you're not getting enough O2 in your blood. There was nothing wrong with my lungs and we were kind of at a dead end until I presented my doctor with more options.

I mean, I was kind of like, my PCP is being useless, I have a PPO, why can't I just go directly to a specialist, but it turns out specialist won't take you without a referral because reasons. I had heard rheumatologist is as good at figuring out weird vague shit so I tried to book there but when I told them long covid, they said that wasn't their department. They said I needed to go see an immunologist which sounded wrong to me, but there was a pretty good HIV specialist immunologist in the area that I tried to book with who said no that's not what long covid is. someone recommended a Long Covid Specialty clinic in a city that is 2 to 5 hours away depending on traffic and I knew I wasn't making that drive in my current condition so was like somebody local gotta help me.

so I went back to my PCP and said to her that I had learned from disability communities online that sometimes a rheumatologist can be helpful. And she said OK we can do some blood tests for inflammation markers to see if I can justify a referral to a rheumatologist. (and I thought of my weird scar issue and thought gee I better have some weird inflammation markers)

So I had some inflammation markers pop and I got a referral to a rheumatologist, and they were actually willing to see me. The rheumatologist ordered so many tests, like an unbelievable number of tests. I think they drew like eight vials of blood. Plus other samples. The rheumatologist was basically like let's look for anything and everything.

I had a borderline response on Calprotectin. To quote from the explainer in the test notes:

Calprotectin in Crohn's disease and ulcerative colitis can be five to several thousand times above the reference population (50 mcg/g or less). Levels are usually 50 mcg/g or less in healthy patients and with irritable bowel syndrome.

so I wasn't high enough to qualify for IBD outright from that test results, but I was high enough that it flagged to the rheumatologist, and I had reported a family history (brother has IBD), so he said that was enough to diagnose and started prescribing me for that.

The thing is, rheumatology is an ass backwards way to get an IBD diagnosis and I was having another symptom that I hadn't reported because I was a dumbass and this is the apocryphal frog boiling slowly thing. I was having fairly regular loose stool/diarrhea. if I had told my PCP that could I have gotten a referral to a gastroenterologist and gotten a less ass backwards diagnosis?

I hadn't told my PCP about loose stools for two reasons:

I didn't think it was relevant to the fatigue, and in fact, I still didn't think it was relevant when the rheumatologist called it, and I was really surprised when taking medication for IBD did actually turn out to help the fatigue

I knew I was lactose intolerant, so I thought it was already explained. However, the rheumatologist and I had this exchange:

Him: so do you still drink regular milk or just Lactaid?

Me: Lactaid

Him: then you shouldn't still be having diarrhea

Me:…

I can't remember the first med he started me on because I was only on it for a couple of weeks before we had to switch. (it helped a lot when I could tolerate it but about every three days I had to throw up and then I felt awful and didn't take the med for a couple of days and you can guess how that went.) the one that I went on long-term that actually worked without side effects for me was mesalamine/lialda. I also started experimenting with some dietary changes, the low FODMAP diet is intended for IBS not IBD, but you are still expected to have IBD triggers so I was playing around with that.

for a few weeks, I had incredible improving energy. It was crazy.

then I made what I can only now think of as a mistake in trying to be proactive about my care. because I had stumbled ass backwards into an IBD diagnosis and I felt like I should have gastroenterologist confirm it, and I went to go see my brother's gastroenterologist. he wanted to do a colonoscopy and he asked me to go off the mesalamine for six weeks so that he could see what my colon was like without treatment and it was the worst fucking six weeks of my life. Hated it. colonoscopy results: he didn't see anything fucking wrong and would not diagnose IBD or prescribe mesalamine based on what he found. I said, but the mesalamine improves my symptoms, what does that mean? He said, it means keep seeing your rheumatologist.

I went back to the rheumatologist and told him about the whole debacle with the gastroenterologist and he was like "so how did he explain your inflammation readings?" like CHECKMATE. And he concluded that any lesions I had must be in the small intestine, not the large intestine and so were not seen by colonoscopy.

I kept taking mesalamine. My improvement was slower after the break from it which sucks but I did get back to normal lab work within six months, hallelujah.

Follow up: MORE stuff that might have been avoided if I had gastroenterologist regularly, had gotten an IBD diagnosis from a gastroenterologist, or had mentioned my shitty symptoms in the immediate: the gallbladder bullshit this summer

I had my second round of covid in May and I didn't notice a lot of fatigue coming out of it, though I was more cautious with myself the second time around, but I was sort of holding my breath for what horrible nonsense is going to come out of this now? so then I had what I thought was a really bad case of Gerd that didn't go away for two weeks even though my Gerd usually resolves in like a day. I went to my PCP twice during this period and then ultimately ended up at the ER when I realized my pain was in my side not central anymore and I was worried about appendicitis. It wasn't appendicitis. It was my gallbladder. and it came out that night. overall, I am very happy with how the hospital handled the emergency for instance, I didn't realize until two weeks later that I seriously could've died because they were so calm about it the whole time but like they don't do same-day surgery unless death is on the line, let's be real.

but here's things that could have been helped if I had better gastroenterology care:

I didn't find this out until I was researching gallstones after the fact, and I would like to think a gastroenterologist would have warned me whereas the rheumatologist wasn't super aware of it but: IBD can lead to gallstones because one of the ways a cholesterol gallstone forms is, if you get an imbalance of bile and cholesterol in your gallbladder; your body wants to recycle bile by reabsorbing it at the end of your small intestine, but if you have IBD, sometimes it loses the bile instead of reabsorbing it, and then you get an overabundance of cholesterol, turning into a gallstone the size of a golf ball

I told my PCP it was a case of Gerd that wouldn't go away, but I didn't tell her I was also having diarrhea. Diarrhea is not a Gerd symptom. Maybe if I had just fucking told her she might've recognized or could've sent me to somebody who would have recognized it as a gallbladder symptom before it turned into an immediate emergency

tl;dr don't hide your gut symptoms from your doctor because you "think" you know what's wrong with your guts or that it's not related to your other problems or you're embarrassed or what the fuck ever just tell them that you're shitting yourself because it might turn out to be important

[tibby-art]

your grian is also what i strive to look like as a transmasc how has this happened to two separate people

anyways does your grian design just not care about gender roles and presents however she wants or do you not draw her more feminine since transfem grian isn’t the major head canon to avoid confusion?

i like learning about people’s lgbtq head canons XD

i think she just presents how she wants, yeah! i imagine she mostly wears more gender-neutral clothing like… sweaters, collared shirts, sweaters over collared shirts, lol. which is basically what most people’s grian designs already wear, i just enjoy exploring that character design concept in a slightly different direction i suppose? im certainly not the first person to hc grian as transfem, but i think for me it started when one day my friend sent me a drawing of grian i had done and joked that it looked just like our other friend who is transfem. it was funny bc it was true, but it made me realize i had a lot more fun drawing grian when i thought of the character as being transfem lol.

so as for why my grian isn’t super feminine, i think it’s also just because a lot of trans people i know personally tend to present similarly (that being, dressing more gender-neutral and not really worrying about gender stereotypes). that’s not to say all trans people present this way of course, just that i know a few folks that do! so i guess i enjoy drawing a character that reminds me of those around me. alternatively i know lots of transmasc people who enjoy dressing feminine as well and so on. for full disclosure i’m a trans man myself, so i don’t want to pretend i know everything about the transfem experience specifically, but i can at least relate to the trans experience overall o7

either way it makes me really happy that trans people on all wavelengths have been sending me messages saying that my grian gives them gender envy LOL. it’s really unexpected since i don’t draw grian as often as cub or scar for example, but it’s still really appreciated nonetheless :’)

[flyingfabio]

Why have you had Pecco tag blocked? Did he pull the same media shit with Fabio? I am new just 2 months here

hello anon and welcome! ok so this is gonna be long because i want to explain and avoid people taking it the wrong way. first i have to admit it's been a long time and i don't remember exactly what event promoted me to block pecco's tag but it was probably not long after his dui in 2022. believe it or not, it had nothing to do with what pecco could have said about fabio, because i think pecco appreciates and respects him a lot and i don't remember pecco saying anything bad about fabio (in the media at least lol). 

so. i think i already spoke about it but pecco has a habit of saying things that come out as ignorant or as things a '''spoiled brat''' would say. like him and jack miller moaning about not being 'test riders' to ducati, while as a factory rider you know you have to lead developmental work and while ducati was already delegating a lot of the work to the satellite teams anyway (pramac mostly). his reponse after his dui that was half-assed and that he deleted from his socials two days after. often not taking full responsibility for his many crashes etc.

pecco is also guilty (and it's not his fault tbf) of being ducati's number one rider and by this point i think y'all know my griefs with ducati. i don't want to go into details, but it's how they manage riders and the whole way they operate that piss me off. as an example, the way they dealt with pecco's dui really rubbed me off the wrong way. basically they tried with their life to brush it off under the rug, they sent threats to a journalist on whatsapp and eventually blacklisted him from ducati events for a year after he asked about this incident in the press conference because yaknow... why should a championship contender in one of the most famous motorsports being convicted for dui be a big deal right?? also in 2022 when fabio was fighting for his life alone on his shitty yamaha, ducati sending half-veiled orders to his satellite teams to basically not race pecco didn't go well with me obviously. and it's not like it's only assumptions, zarco admitted it on tv and the way some of the ducati management looked at enea who didn't give a shit about orders and raced pecco anyway made it obvious. can you believe people were discussing the possibility of ducati riders letting pecco pass if he was lower than 7th or something and fabio was leading in the gp of the title decider to prevent fabio from winning the championship? people nowadays might not find ducati having 8 bikes that bad because they're all fighting each other but not so long ago the fight included another manufacturer and you might wonder if this situation isn't an open door for manipulations we don't want to see ever in our sport...

AND it was a period around here (the tumblrina palace) when SOME pecco fans were mmh... extreme and unsufferable to say the least. and like i know i'm a fabio extremist and i know i can piss people off (sometimes i'm annoying myself lol), but i don't go and publish fucking tumblr polls about '''whom from my most behated motorsports men should be guillotined''' with marc and fabio (obviously) listed as choices... you could understand how i didn't want to ever see this on my dash (never felt better than after blocking that person). also generally their attitude of 'pecco never does anything wrong' when he DOES do wrong is tiring at some point...

[amethystfairy1]

hiya it’s been a hot minute since I sent an ask but I want you to know that I’ve been reading all your stuff for months now, refreshing multiple times a day bc I can’t get enough and I adore everything you write <3<3<3 I think your more recent writing with the darker themes is well done, it adds the perfect amount of angst and stakes to the story, more than vague threats of getting hurt, esp in the under city, but it’s not too much at the same time. Also your newest TT treebark is probs my favorite fic thus far, and treebark isn’t even my favorite ship lmao. It’s so arghhh yesss with Rens acting but Martyn can’t tell nooooo 😭 I REALLY want to know what Ren was thinking that whole time negotiating with the bandits, esp when he finally looked at Martyn bc he could probably hear his cries the whole time and UGH it breaks my heart in a good way. AND MARTYN ACCEPTING THAT REN WOULD DO THIS, AND FORGIVING HIM????? The angst, the FEELS. Stunning. A masterpiece. I start my days checking to see if you’ve posted I’m so obsessed XD. Might have to draw the scene… anyhow. I see you get a lot of requests to write certain ships now bc all the stories r so captivating we just HAVE to know more. But. I hope you don’t feel pressured or stressed about it, make sure to prioritize your own wants first. The quality is worth the wait <3 that said, I’m going insane over Martyn. oH also!!! Ren grabbing the wolf pendant!!!!!! He knows how much it means to Martyn my HEART they’re so AAAaAAaAaaaaA!! And he waited until he was between Martyn and the bandits to attack! To protect him! 🥺🥺🥺 the little details are so sweet I’m dying to know rens thoughts. He probably has the rage of a thousand suns in him after seeing Martyn tied up, hurt, crying, bc they would DARE lay a finger on the only one who protected him, who was nice to him. Just. Tomorrow can’t come fast enough. I’m def gonna draw this. Also side note love the new pfp

Hello!!!! Good to see you!!!!

I'm so glad you're still reading and enjoying my works!

Also very happy to hear you're enjoying the darker themes that have been coming up recently in both TTSBC and TT! You're exactly right, that's exactly the sort of thing I was trying to nail...oh yeah ANGST with Treebark right now!

I mean. If you feel inspired. I would LOVE if you drew this scene. Because like, I have that art you did of Ren asleep on Martyn's shoulder as the cover image to my Treebark fanfic doc 🥹

Thank youuuu I appreciate the thought about not feeling pressured or stressed, I promise I'm not! I know everyone is just excited for their favorite/most compelling storyline to continue! And like I've said elsewhere, I plan to stick to my mantra...when I try to write something I'm not in the mood to write, I burn out and don't feel like writing at all. That's what happened to me the last time I stopped writing, and I didn't post at all for nearly a year. I HATED THAT. So TTSBC and TT is the perfect situation for me! Lots of ships, lots of characters, lots of dynamics, and between the two I can write BASICALLY anything I feel like at any point in time! So yeah! I'll write what I feel like writing in the moment, because that's always when I come up with my best stuff!

THE WOLFS PENDANT YUP GOOD CATCH. Ren's a good guy, he pays attention to that sort of thing 💖

I'm glad you like my new pfp!!! I love it! It's by my same friend who drew my old pfp, but THIS one is of an original character of mine everyone who reads TTSBC is very familiar with and people very scared of, but I assure you, any resemblance to characters previously mentioned is purely coincidental, hypotheticals should be, should be, should be dismissed, and there is no need to be concerned. 😉

Thank you for coming by again!!!

[theoldpersonliveshere]

"Happiness is a butterfly // Try to catch it like every night // It escapes from my hands into moonlight"

Ever since her mother died, Fen felt like she was never meant to be happy. She always felt alone even when she was surrounded by people.

“You will always have a place here.” Rhaenrya had told her when her mother died.

“You'll need to make yourself useful now that we're housing you. It would be a shame if we'd have to send you away.” Daemon said in contrast. Fen had tried not to think about the implications of what he said. She did not want to be sent to live with strangers. Her father was a shadow she only met once and she didn't even know her mother's family.

So she set herself to work, trying to show her worth. In the years that passed she would never be seen idling.

“The sweet girl does not know how to stop.” Rhaenyra would say. “Darling, you should take a break and rest.”

“That's alright, my lady, I like keeping busy,” Fen would say as she was mending a shirt while watching Joffrey.

The only peace she would find was spending time with Jacaerys. They understood each other. They were both trying to prove themselves. Jace would vent his frustrations to her and she would do her best to advise him. She would never tell him her worries. No, that was not her place. She didn't want to add to his burdens.

As they matured, a hope dwelled in the back of Fen’s mind that Jace would ask his mother to let the two of them marry, but she knew that was impossible. He would be king one day and Daemon and Rhaenys were already starting to push him towards Baela. She was a better match for him. Not some strange looking maid who could barely see.

Her speculation was confirmed at the Driftmark trial when it was announced that Jace and Baela were to be betrothed. Fen felt her heart wrench inside her chest and held back her reaction. She stayed silent and looked at Jace, he seemed pleased with the match. She couldn't blame him, Baela was stunning and seemed to be the perfect queen. She was still heartbroken though. When the trial was over Fen tried to go back to her room but Rhaenyra stopped her.

“Fen, would you like to join us for dinner?” she asked with a kind smile.

“Oh, no thank you, my lady, I wouldn't want to impose and I don't have anything to wear to a banquet. I'll just eat with the children.” Fen said, bowing her head.

Rhaenyra put a hand on her cheek,

“Nonsense, you're one of us and you will eat with us. I'll have a servant look in storage to find you a dress.”

When Fen arrived at the dinner, a few of the men took notice of her. The dress she was lent had been lower cut than what she was used to and had been laced tightly which showed off her bosom more. She didn't know how to feel about the attention and just rushed to her seat. She had been seated between Jace and Prince Aegon and Aegon was being his usual self.

“Lady Fen, when did you get tits?” Aegon had inquired, laughing as Fen turned red and Jace glared at him.

“Oh, like you haven't noticed. You've been staring at them half the night!” he retorted as Jace fumed. Aemond looked at them curiously during the dinner and seemed to be planning something.

Throughout the night many toasts were made including one where Helaena basically said that Aegon was neglecting her which got Jace's attention. When the music started he promptly stood up and asked Helaena to dance. Fen sighed, knowing that he was just doing it to get back at Aegon for his comments. She and Baela exchanged a look.

“Congratulations on your betrothal, Lady Baela,” Fen said politely. Baela looked surprised by her words but smiled appreciatively.

“Thank you, you look lovely in that dress by the way, the colour suits you,” she said. Fen was about to answer when Aemond approached her.

“Dance with me,” he said bluntly.

“Oh, uh no th-” Fen was immediately cut off.

“That was not a question,” he said. Fen relented and took his hand, leaving Aegon with Baela. Aegon looked at Baela tentatively.

“So do you want to…”

“No.”

“Okay.”

As they reached the dancefloor it felt like Aemond was pulling her so they were closer to Jace and Helaena. Jace looked annoyed at Aemond but continued dancing.

Fen tried to think of something to say to Aemond as they danced

“I saw you training earlier, you were very good.”

Aemond didn't answer.

“On Dragonstone, Joffrey has just started learning to swordfight. He's still a novice but he should reach the level of his brothers.”

Aemond smirked. “Yes, I'm sure they're very strong fighters,” he said, emphasizing the word strong.

Suddenly Jace stopped dancing.

“I dare you to say that again.”

“Why? It was only a compliment.” Aemond had the look of a wild animal in his eye. “Do you not think yourself strong?”

Jace was done, he punched Aemond in the jaw. It had little effect and he was pushed to the floor. A couple of guards had to hold him back so he didn't attack Aemond again. Rhaenyra told everyone to go to their rooms and Fen rushed out and ran down the hall.

“Fen wait!” Jace called after her.

“Why did you do that?” she cried out. “Are you trying to start a war?”

Jace stepped back a bit, surprised by her outburst

“He insulted me.”

“He was baiting you. He just wanted an excuse to fight you.”

“I know, it's just he was dancing with you and you're wearing that dress and…” he trailed off.

Fen looked worried.

“And what?” she asked softly.

“I don't want to marry Baela.“ he burst out. “I want to marry you!”

“You can't, you know you can't.” she turned to walk away but he grabbed her.

“Please, wait.” he looked through his pockets desperately. “My mother gave me this. I want you to have it.” he held out a ring with a black stone. “Please.”

“Jace… I can't- you-”

“No! Just take it!” he took her hand and put it on her finger. “See? It's perfect for you.”

Fen looked at the ring and smiled a little. It was pretty-

“You need to marry Baela! She's supposed to be your queen!”

“No, wait, please. I love you and I want to marry you.” he had her face in his hands. “Please. I've never wanted anyone but you.”

They looked at each other for a moment and he kissed her. Fen kissed him back but then started to think about what would happen if it were to continue and quickly pushed him away.

“I'm sorry, I can't.”

She took the ring off and handed it back to him.

“But-”

“Go back to your betrothed”

He looked at her forlornly and then walked away.

No, Fen was never meant to be happy.

@hotd-bigbang