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#but i do really appreciate & enjoy it and i LOVE bcs which a friend got me hooked on recently
shivroy · 11 months
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t4t jesse & jane!! happy pride my darlings ❤️
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maldito-arbol · 2 years
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It’s time for Mal to Talk in the tags again because I’m too tired to do homework or write so I’m gonna use my energy for this
#ranting online is kinda therapeutic since I can’t get therapy? ok so I just wanted to mention this and ramble#i about cried talking to my himbo friend over the phone the other day because he told me. the day I read that chapter (well. 1/4 of it)#to my discord server in the vc he came in and checked on me a few times and he said he hasn’t seen me look that happy in so long and it#hurts because I had to end that event early because I couldn’t breathe but I had so much fun talking to ppl and doing the reading bc I get#✨dramatic✨ and shit and yknow overall it was just such a great experience except for the not breathing part (the gods are punishing me for#the Bye Bye Air Collar from WJH) and anyway it just reminded me all over again how Unhappy I am constantly. i have spent my entire life#being treated like complete dirt by family and friends and bosses and coworkers and classmates and everyone under the sun so the second i#feel appreciated by Anyone I break into tears it’s So Bad. so like I enjoy going to work because even tho it’s so tiring and it’s so hard#dealing with customers sometimes I love it anyway because like. i feel appreciated there. by my boss and a handful of coworkers at least.#and that’s so much better than being in this house and feeling like I’m the devil’s spawn all over again sent to ruin everybody’s life by#merely existing. so work is a double-edged sword because it’s another source of Pain but it’s ALSO an escape which is Totally Healthy but#then there’s my fanfics. writing what I wanna write and sharing it with you guys and tormenting you and my blorbos is a kind of happiness I#will never find anywhere else. reading that to the server was one of those moments of pure euphoria even if I was plagued by Stage Fright#at the same time. so yeah. it really really really deepens my already horrid depression that I can’t write and I can’t release content rn#bc it means that source of pure happiness is gone with it and I’m left feeling all worthless again. idk how to fix all this. idk if I can.#I’m just so so so tired;;;;;#i forgot where I was going with this I feel like I keep repeating myself but anyway that’s all for now I’m gonna go see if I can cry#oh! one more thing. i haven’t talked to my Blood Family (apart from my sisters and Rarely my dad) SINCE I GOT KICKED OUT but last night my#aunt called me and we talked about my mother and she had a breakdown to me over the phone so I remembered all over again what it was like#living with my mother and maybe realized I never actually processed any of that trauma. it’s all just coming pouring out thru my writing.#all the Abuse themes going on in CMTO? 100% projection so sorry u had to witness this guys 💜 but anyway she told me I rlly helped validate#her own feelings and apologized for crying to me ab this but I told her what I tell everyone—that Crying Is Good For The Soul#and maybe that’s why I’ve been crying so much lately. because I need to. and I need to stop holding everything in. my friends are genuinely#worried and I somehow convinced myself that they have better things to do than listen to my whining. so anyway I’m gonna go cry 💜#for self care purposes. ok done for real this time see y��all soon next time I decide to rant in the tags again#mal rants
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longtallglasses · 1 month
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some miwi headcanons just bc ! older ones
i see young mike as kind of loud and not realizing how loud (and annoying) his yelling near people is (ie karen yelling in s1 “mike let’s go!” “COMING!!!”) however he quickly learns not to yell around will, adopting his softer voice for him BUT
in school he’s constantly calling over to will “will come here” “will sit next to me” “will! over here! look at this!” trying to get his attention “will, will, hey will…” other kids are like dude shut up… so many kids know will’s name who’ve never seen him, and mike’s thought of as that kid who’s always calling out for his friend.
i’m an avid rock collector!mike enjoyer. on the playground, in the forest, at the park, at the lake. he’s picking up all the cool ones, storing them away for very important scientific reasons like “this one’s shiny in A Different way!” he sets aside his favorites to show and give to will, very much in the style of a cat bringing a dead rodent to their owner, like “got something special just for you :) a Very Cool Rock :)” will loves how much mike enjoys it and is very excited to receive them, feeling quite special.
will loves stuffed animals (i mean we been knew) when he was younger they all had names and backstories, interpersonal drama and storylines he played out. two stuffed cats he definitely thought of as him and mike subconsciously, as they were best friends. he would act out little dramatic scenes of them running away from some oppressive kingdom, going on an adventure and meeting new friends along the way. … and he may have made them kiss a few times …
obviously small will loved drawing, but i don’t think he was always confident in his skill. after people tell him he’s good he gets caught up in trying to be really good, and gets frustrated when he can’t do something the way he wants. hence crumpled up attempts in the trash mike fishes out. there’s a spell of time where he gives up for a bit and jonathan asks why he hasn’t seen him drawing lately, and will says he doesn’t think he can get any better, it’s too hard. jonathan tells him it doesn’t matter if it’s perfect, he should just draw to make himself happy “draw for the campaigns, your friends think it’s so cool” so will keeps at it focusing on drawing what he thinks him and his friends will appreciate
while watching scary movies in the basement mike and will always held hands under blankets. it started when they were younger and they first got permission to watch a scary movie, they didn’t want to admit they might be getting too scared. during a big jump their hands reached out on instinct and too caught up in the movie they didn’t let go. when it was over they didn’t talk about it, but then it just kept happening every time they got scared. which led to holding hands when upset outside of watching movies. they never really discussed it, it just felt like their little secret thing.
all the boys were nice to holly but will was the only friend who actually liked seeking her out to play w them. (fascinated by a little sister unlike lucas and only-child dustin) mike and will would play games with her sometimes, will thinking she was really cute, and mike thinking it was cute will really liked her. cue karen thinking will is the best influence on her son
i have such a strong image of kindergarten miwi right after they become friends making mud pies together every recess. their teacher scolds them the first few times having to scrub their hands when they come back in. it gets so bad when the recess monitor sees them heading for the dirt they’re yelling “Michael! William! don’t even think about it!” they think it’s so funny to rile them up, they start spreading mud on each others arms “will you need more than that!” they only try to eat it a few times, it does taste really gross. after they’re banned from the dirt, they move to the sand box, it’s only a bit cleaner.
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wangxianficfinder · 3 months
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Fic Finder
Jan 19th
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1. Hello, I have lost a fic! It was an arranged-marriage au where WWX marries into the Lan sect. During the wedding all the Lans refuse to look towards WWX which hurts him deeply. Later on LWJ explains it is Lan tradition for no one to look upon the bride until the husband has removed her veil. This was just one of many cultural differences between the Lan and Jiang that the fic explored. Overall I think the fic was kind of somber and angsty? Probably had a happy ending though. Any ideas?
FOUND? Concord by Deastar (T, 41k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Gūsū Lán Sect Rules, Depression, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending)
FOUND? In Love and War by Cataclysmic_Calamity (E, 68k, wangxian, A/B/O, Canon Divergence, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Arranged Marriage, Kind of a slow burn, enemies to lovers ish, rampant sexual tension, WWX is a Menace to society and LWJ is doing his best, Miscommunication, past emotional abuse, Dubious Consent, Consensual Non-Consent, Semi-Public Sex, Anal Fingering, Dom/sub, Anal Sex)
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2. Hello, I need help finding a fic. I'm pretty sure I found this fic through your blog.
It's from Lan Wangji's perspective and takes place during the early sunshot campaign before Wei Wuxian's return. Wen outposts are attacked by some unknown entity and Lan Wangji goes to investigate. The culprit is a human shaped being covered in resentful energy. After a few confrontations Lan Wangji discovers that the being is an unconscious Wei Wuxian and finds a way to free him from the resentful energy. @bluekittenfire
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3. (First part added to an itmf) I cannot remember what it is called but there was one fic where WWX loses his foot/leg and the Wen build him a wooden prosthetic that I really enjoyed and am looking for more fics like this. Where characters are dealt a difficult hand but they work through it and yeah, any recs would be much appreciated thank you!
FOUND? we’re starting at the end by Miss_Enthusiasimal (M, 92k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Time Travel, Canon Divergence, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Golden Core Reveal, Burial Mounds, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Starvation, emaciation, Cannibalism, Self-Harm, Amputation, Suicidal Thoughts, Sunshot Campaign, let JZX and WWX be friends club)
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4. Hi! I’m sorry to bother you, but maybe you can help me? I’m looking for a fic where Wei Wuxian is fighting at what I remember to be Qiongqi Path. I think Jiang Cheng makes a smart remark (something like “Are you just gonna play your flute or you going to help us?!”) and Wei Wuxian stops playing his dizi long enough to give JC the finger… only for them to realise what it means that he’s stopped playing and a flute can still be heard. Not long after LWJ pulls Su She out of the foliage with the other flute.
Vaguely I remember it being a fix it fic where less people die than in canon.
If you can help with this I would appreciate it since it’s haunted me for days now! And even if not I hope you have a pleasant day. ^^ @jestingknights
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5. hi!! i’m been looking for a fic for days. i read it forever ago but it’s during the cloud recess study arc and in it lan xichen realizes how awful the jiangs are treating wwx and tries to subtly convince him to leave tywng and stay in gusu bc he knows how much lwj likes him and he sees how talented wwx is and knows he would be a good asset for any sect to have. a specific scene i remember is that lxc would pretend to accidentally bump into wwx to talk to him. and they would go on walks and lwj saw it and got jealous. i think lxc was lowkey manipulative but in a way where he was doing it to make wwx care enough about himself to leave the jiangs. it was not jiang clan friendly at all. i kno this is so vague sorry about that. but it’s driving me crazy how i can’t find it when i know ive read it more then once. thanks for any help u can give
FOUND? If 5 isn't 🔒💖 Hoards and treasures by apathyinreverie (T, 21k, WangXian, Siblings, Family, not particularly Jiang friendly, YZY Bashing, slightly darker Gusu Lans, LXC being the best brother, Some manipulation, But with the best of intentions, and not between wangxian, Dragon LWJ, Fox WWX, Smitten LWJ, Fluff, perfect happiness, adorable WWX, Romance, Some worldbuilding, courting), it's very similar so here's hoping!
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6. Hello! I’m looking for a modern AU where WWX lives in and runs a theater, I believe LWJ is hosting his orchestra there for practice and for an event??? And it’s important that it’s successful to keep the theater open. I believe at some point, someone throws a rock or a brick through the front doors, and I believe the jiangs show up in the end and WWX confronts that. Im having such a hard time finding it or remembering more about it, and I’ve been looking for it for so long 🥲 @takemitchyleaps
FOUND? Talisman by Witch_Nova221 (M, 192k, WangXian, Modern AU, Eventual Romance, Theatre, Rock Band, Childhood Friends, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Spousal Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Stalking, Minor Character Death, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining)
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7. Hi! I hope doing this right, can tou help me find a fic ? I remember that the sects start making alliances because they notice how the Wens are acting. The Jiangs and the Lans are going to ally through marriage, the choice is up to LXC, but because he is jealous of LZ, thinking he never had it difficult, when WY is offered to the Lans, LXC decides to marry him to make LZ suffer, knowing LZ and WY like each other. LXC is the one whose core is melted and LSZ is LXC and WY's biological son. @old-rose-peonies
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8. There's a fic I vaguely remember reading, and I don't know what it's called. There's a scene where Lan Zhan is trying to help Wei Ying eat again (residual starvation stuff), and there's an NSFW scene with honey where Lan Zhan is trying to help Wei Ying associate eating with Good Things. That's the extent of my memory. If you could please help me find it, I'd greatly appreciate it! Thank you! @amynchan
Oh oh! I know exactly which fic this is because it was written based on a post of mine! It's actually WWX helping LWJ and was written by the wonderful InTheGreySpaces (thank you again for writing this beautiful fic~) 😊 Though I could be wrong so please let me know if this isn't it 😅 - Mod C
FOUND! 🧡 Sustenance of the Soul OR Five Times Lan Wangji Refused to Eat and One Time Wei Wuxian Convinced Him To by InTheGreySpaces (E, 9k, WangXian, Grief/Mourning, Angst, Pining, Eating Disorders, LWJ Has an Eating Disorder, and WWX is going to help him get past it, Inedia, Inedia used in the wrong way, LWJ's 33 Lashes Punishment, referenced as the cause of his eating problems, Submissive LWJ, Sort of?)
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9. Hello! I'm looking for a specific fic that I'm afraid might've been deleted. It's a modern au set in the 90s in California (possibly). The Spotify playlist "LWJ DJs your life 1999" goes with it. What I remember is that LWJ is both a goth club DJ and a cello player, WWX drives a terrible car, and the gang is looking to buy the perfect huge house to collectively live in. It might've been part of a series, there's a Halloween party bit where LWJ dresses up at a classic style gothic vampire and curates an extensive party playlist. Thanks for the help! @aceaviatrix
FOUND? The Quiet Room by trickybonmot (M, 39k, WangXian, Modern AU, 1990s, Goth LWJ, Cellist LWJ, College Student WWX, House Hunting, Dating, Clubbing, San Francisco, Implied/Referenced Past Child Abuse, Mental Health Issues, Academic Disaster Aftermath, Getting Together, Repressed Teen Crushes to Strangers to Lovers, Homelessness, in the form of couch surfing, background NieLan)
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10. For the next fic finder: I'm looking for a longer fic where the wens find shelter at the nie sect. It was part of a way bigger plot and some wangxian shenanigans, but wen qing and nie mingjue end up sleeping together, mainly because wen qing is cold and is like "might as well". I do remember that nie mingjue was trans, also. Anyone have any idea what fic that was?
FOUND? 💖 Uninvited by WithBroomBefore (M, 13k, wangxian, canon divergence, fix-it, hurt/comfort, sect leader jyl, sick fic, happy ending) specifically chapter 3
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11. Hi! I need help in looking for a fic where Nie Huaisang was the one who sacrificed his body and soul to summon Wei Wuxian back to life. Thank you @etutb
FOUND? Crowded by nirejseki (G, 1k, NHS & WWX, WangXian, WangXianSang, Canon Divergence, Different Body Offering Ritual, Atypical Relationship Dynamics, sentient sabers) this is a nhs sacrifice summon (gone sideways) fic
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12. Hello. I am looking for a fic where there was a finger trap? You know, the “thing that traps the victim's fingers (often the index fingers) in both ends of a small cylinder”? Anyway i cant remember if it was a tweetfic or a fic on ao3 but wangxian had their fingers in this 🥲🙏
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13. Hi, I don't normally lose fics but I lost this one: Post-Canon, Jiang Cheng basically goes round all the clans and tells them what was wrong with their defences during Sunshot and what they could do better. He also has some unkind words to say about Lotus Pier's organisation. It sounds like he's making enemies but he's really not. Any ideas, please? @solo----
FOUND? 🔒 The Cold Wind of Harsh Truth (or How We Nearly Lost the Sunshot Campaign): A Treatise by Icarus (T, 13k, wangxian, Post-Canon, Humor, Angst, JC digs and keeps digging, Zidian lore, Fun with talismans, JC-centric, Competence Kink, Strategy & Tactics, Cultivation Sect Politics, Arranged Marriage, Trauma, Logic, POV JC)
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14. Hi, I am looking for a fic set post-canon (I think). I remember Wei Wuxian maybe living in the jingshi, possibly teaching classes, but definitely going into Caiyi with Lan Wangji and during a festival Wangji wins a game and the prize is this ugly turtle statue that Wei Wuxian adores. They go on to prank Lan Qiren with the turtle statue. I loved this scene but I can’t remember what fic it came from, please help!
FOUND! I think 14for the fic finder is from the actual book. It sounds like the last extra chapter. / Not saying there isn't a fic involving it, but #14 sounds a lot like the Yunmeng extra in book five, as well. Ring toss, ugly turtle statue, and Wei Wuxian considering pranking Lan Qiren included. The only difference is the location. Your searcher may have mistaken it for fic, especially if they read translations online. / #14 is one of the extra chapters from the actual novel (Extra 7 in the official English translation)
I found a few similar fics with a turtle statue if you want to check them out ^^ - Mod C
The Turtle in the Lanshi by Brierilee (G, 1k, WangXian, Post Canon, POV LJY)
Jin Ling and the No Good Very Bad Terrible Year of Cloud Recesses Bullshit by cringewerewolf (T, 2k, WangXian, Juniors)
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15. hi!! looking for this funny fic based on a silly story. Lwj rejects wwx on a dating app accidently right in front of him, i think they're on an airport? they end up talking obvs and it's cute and funny @ilyweiwuxian
FOUND? Ticket to Ride by mistresscurvy (E, 18k, wangxian, Modern, Online Dating, Road Trips, Service Top, Phone Sex, Dick Pics, Wedding Banquet)
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16. Hey was hoping you guys may be able to help, I've been look for a fic I read awhile back idk if it got deleted or something but. It is a modern time wangxian fic with tattoo artist wei ying, his parents are alive too. But he ends up renting a boyfriend/ Lan wangji off a boyfriend renting site. They have misunderstandings but get through it, he even gives lan Zhan a lotus tattoo like his own and they get together officially in the end. @yilingpatriarchsimp
FOUND! Rent a Gege by wayward_wing (E, 12k, WangXian, Fluff and Angst, Smut, Bottom LWJ/Top WWX, Bottom LWJ, Top WWX, Getting Together, Older WWX, Younger LWJ, Mention of wangxian with others, WWX’s parents are alive, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Riding, Skinny Dipping, eating ass, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex)
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17. I have lost a fic where Wei Wuxian is a catfish for sale and he helps jilted lovers get back at their exes. Su She hires him to target Lan Wangji but Wei Wuxian falls for him instead. Please help me find this fic!
FOUND! I'm pretty sure this one is we'll get him falling for a stranger (or a catfish) by sweetlolixo (T, 38k, wangxian, modern, College AU, Catfish AU, Eventual Happy Ending, Crossdressing WWX, Rich heir LWJ gets catfished by pretty Weiying online that's it that's the fic, LWJ learns how to text with kaomojis, Gossipy aunties NHS and WWX: canon, sometimes LWJ gives you secondhand embarrassment, this fic is on crack, Pining LWJ, Fluff, Humor, lwj is a grade A+ SIMP, Identity Porn)
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18. lan xichen is driving after drinking at night and hits Jiang yanli and she dies. Plot twist ended up she committed suicide, but they didn’t know that before. The lans and jiangs had a fight and somehow lan wangji ended up getting married to Wei wuxian. Wwx is significantly older then lan zhan in this fic.
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19. Hello! I was wondering if I could get help looking for a fic. It’s a doctor AU where LZ and WY are both surgeons. It starts with WY being late to a presentation and showing up right in the middle of LZ’s presentation time. Then WY eventually ends up working on a research project or something like that with LZ? Wen Ning gets hurt at some point in it too and WY and LZ save him against LQR’s orders. I’ve been looking for this for forever and can’t seem to find it. Thank you so much!
FOUND? Anginal Equivalents by fakeplasticlily (E, 23k, wangxian, Modern, Medical Residents AU, Childhood Friends, Mutual Pining, Oblivious WWX, WangXian.mp3, Sexual Content, Podfic Available)
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20. Hi Peeps! Thank you so much for your dedication to this page, I'm a big fan! I'm looking for a specific fic: there's a cultural show being put on by the whole gang and Wei Ying is specifically doing a dance for it but he needs to have body paint and LZ graciously volunteers for it. He ends up writing characters out of an ancient poem that Huaisang tells him is LZ basically marking him for his own. It's not idiots in love, though that one was great as well. Thank you in advance! @nebuluscharlie
FOUND? Out of the Bin and Into Your Heart by Alaceron (T, 27k, WangXian, Modern AU, Fake/Pretend relationship, Oblivious WWX)
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eclectic-sassycoweyes · 10 months
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Been thinking a lot about not only TK using Carlos’ bicep as his personal ‘emotional support bicep’ which 🥹🥹🥹 - also thank you and creds to @paperstorm for making the huge contribution to the whole entire fandom with this description -
But, also about the whole thing from Carlos’ perspective and how Carlos reacts to it, and feels about it, makes my stomach do a little swoop every time I come across a gif from either the wedding ep or the scene where they’re waiting for news on Marjan
Like, I’m thinking about semi-lonely, tense pre- and during season 1 Carlos needing someone, not just to love and be loved by but to take care of and hold and be there for🥺 Like we all know Carlos must work a lot to maintain those biceps and of course this is probably for his own sake bc he likes them, and to be good at his job etc but,,
He’s obviously gotten some attention from it, guys who finds him sexy and maybe likes a little power play
And he can appreciate that especially when ‘guys’ are in fact TK who enjoys it and wants him to use his strength a little bit to press his hands into the mattress above his head: (🔥)
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Or to ‘twist his arm’ 😏😏
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But more than that S1 Carlos longed for his body (huge bicep) to be appreciated in different ways. To be the one that someone (TK) needed to be held by, to be the shoulder (bicep) that someone (TK) could cry on, and lean on (both figuratively:
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And literally:
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- He needed to be that for someone (TK), to take on that role in a healthy, loving relationship. And he certainly got that from TK. But he got even more than that, more than he could have dreamed of, bc with TK he’s also become a shoulder (bicep) to sleep on:
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Not just in the domestic privacy of their own home, but in public, among a wonderful new group of friends and family:
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As well as a shoulder (bicep) to both lean on and rub their thumb back and forth on for self soothing:
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In short, that work paid off exponentially as he got to be someone’s (TK’s) ‘emotional support bicep’. 🥲
And what completely gets me is the way he’s so casual about it in this last one. Like I imagined the first couple of times Carlos in his head would have been like ‘oh, okay, my bicep is now your pillow, I see, I’ll stay as still as possible or react in some way like by kissing your hair or something or move so you’re more comfortable’, and ‘oh okay, you’re not letting go, you really must love that bicep, I’ll buy a permanent gym membership and think of that ever time I work out, this bicep shall be forever dedicated to your needs’ while in his head being all 😳🫠🥰😌🥹🥹🥰
But now he barely reacts, it’s so natural. He just barely registers that ‘oh, my adorable, emotional boyfriend (husband😭) (TK who I know in and out and who know me the same way😭) is (once again/per usual😭) reserving my bicep for emotional support reasons while he cries on me, imma let him do his thing while I grab his ankle, both to comfort TK,’ - but also bc while TK needs to physically lean on someone (Carlos) when he’s emotional (or sleepy, or just, it’s right there anyway), what Carlos needs it something (someone) (TK) to hold on to, to tether himself to bc it’s overwhelming for him to lose control of his emotions.
And TK is the perfect rock for him because he’s not only so open about his emotions, and an adorable kitten boyfriend (husband), but because he’s also and at the same time incredibly strong and prepared to catch Carlos at any time😭
The naturalness of it all just says so much about how long they’ve been together and built their relationship, how well they know and how comfortable they are with each other and how they’re perfect for each other and fit together like two pieces of a puzzle! There are some thoughts here about different kinds and ways of embodying ‘masculinity’ and vulnerability but I’m not nearly eloquent enough rn to go into that..
Anyway, with TK, Carlos, now without even giving it a second thought, has gotten the relationship he dreamed of and more, has gotten exactly the appreciation for his strength and body (biceps) that S1 Carlos longed for and worked so hard for, and gets to take on the role in his relationship that he needs and be who he always were and I’m just 😭🥹🥹🥰🥰🫠 slowly melting away over it.
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wonwoonlight · 10 months
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how do u think svt in relationship will be like?
(im sorry if you're already did drabbles for this)
hi 🎀anon!!! sorry this got late, i think the topic went a little everywhere at some point but i hope you enjoyed this anyway hehe. but also before i did this, i want to rephrase this a little and answer this as how i would write their characters in a relationship in my fics🧡
cheol: he would be the kind of boyfriend who's whiny and clingy and he's not ashamed about it!!! but despite the child like persona that he puts up, he always takes care of you and he's always always always the first person who'd apologize or remind you both to calm down when things get too heated up.
jeonghan: han would only pull all his pranks in private while he's only a little playful in front of people (unless those people are close to both of you then it doesn't matter); teasing is just his love language, anyway. he knows all the lines he needs to keep and he's secretly scared he'd push you a little too far. he's subtle about his touch too, though you can bet that he's never leaving you alone when you're in the comfort of your apartment aha.
shua: man would do everything for you and i mean everything. he'd take care of you without even thinking bc to him, it's just a given and it's second nature. he's like those people who have everything ready before you even finish the sentence. "do you have--" "here." "what about--" "here."
jun: jun, on the contrary, i feel like would be a rather serious boyfriend. sure, he'll still joke around and all that stuff, but i imagine he's the type to be more serious when it comes to this stuff. he's calm and he never pushes anything out of you, even by accident.
hoshi: hosh is the type of boyfriend who takes you anywhere and everywhere over the weekend. he wants to try every single thing he's heard from his friends and his members, so you can bet your ass he's dragging you with him lol.
wonwoo: take a walk during odd hours kind of boyfriend 😭 he's not keen on going outside, but when it comes to taking a walk during random hours after midnight, he springs up like a kid during christmas lol. he'd wrap you with the warmest clothes there is because he gets cold himself. so he needs to prevent you from being cold bc there's no way he'd be able to let you wear his jacket looooooooool
jihoon: he claims he doesn't like cuddles; and it's true. just that he doesn't like cuddles when they aren't from you. he's always subtle with his touches also, doesn't say anything when he initiates any kind of physical contact so your heartbeat is always 📈📈📈📈📈 everytime he suddenly drops down next to you and just softly grabs your hands and plays with your fingers when it's just the two of you.
seokmin: he'd be very shy at first. like he has all this energy and he just wants to hold your hand but he's too shy and it's only been like two weeks since you started dating so is it too fast to place his hand on your thigh when you're next to him??? he'd just be flustered all the time until you tell him it's ok lol
mingyu: like hoshi, he would want to try a lot of activities. but he wouldn't be hearing those from his friends, he'd look them up himself, look through the reviews, stalk instagram profiles, and when he's sure you two would have fun, he'd say he's planned the perfect date (which he really has lol) and you'll end up having a competition about who can plan the Most Fun Date Activities.
minghao: i wanna go with the cliche museum, art dates when it comes to him bc that's D: just D: how i imagine him to be D: perhaps he'd even bring you to those painting or pottery class bc he just wants to spend time with you either appreciating art or making something meaningful for the both of you (the memories and your failed attempt of a potteries left as mementos lol)
seungkwan: for a date, seungkwan would also look things up on instagram like mingyu. but he would include you in the process, asks about your preference whilst also dropping hints about what he wants to try lol. the both of you would have more fun looking through instagrams, pressed against one another on the sofa, than going on the actual dates lol. the members would sometimes ask you both about a date course bc they knew you've both seen too much date courses instagram recommendation pages
vernon: he's the follow you type of boyfriend <3 whatever you want to do, 95% of the time he'd just say and follow you. not that he doesn't have anything in mind, but what matters to him is that he's spending time with you. he'd also make a tradition of having a movie/netflix date, something you can do online when you're apart. again, it doesn't matter what you're watching bc he simply wants to spend time w you 😭
chan: NOW HIM. i think it's time that we remember that despite being the maknae in seventeen, chan is the eldest son in his family. i feel like he's a very mature boyfriend who would try to "lead" you and i mean that in the best way possible. he'd be patient even if you're indecisive about anything--menu, movies, places, activities. he'd try to get to the bottom of what you actually want 😗 "
A/N: phew it's hard to write these but it was fun and i've grown a new kind of respect for people who write headcanons sjdhfbhsdjbf
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remcycl333 · 1 year
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Hi, I really enjoyed reading your indepth post today on how to fulfill ourselves. I really admire you and the “states girlies” a lot because you guys really know your stuff!
I have a bit of a scenario that i’ve been “stuck” in and in my own head about, if you have time i would really appreciate some advice.
So i’ve been “manifesting” my sp for a little over 2 years now using law of assumption, but in reality i’ve only TRULY been manifesting him using states for the last 8 months. I have a really good understanding of states thanks to you and twitter pages, edward art and neville. I promise I don’t focus on time (until recently when i was making plans for my future which i always assumed my sp would be here for) and I never intended that manifesting takes a long time. I’ve experienced many quick manifestations and I know sp is no different but im not sure where im going wrong. I always catch myself when im out of the state and redirect myself back and have been doing this daily for the last 8 months. I do feel fulfilled in my mind with him since I no longer have a “longing” for him nor do I expect him to take any action in the 3D because thats not my true world. I dont even feel bad/sad when “opposite” things seem to happen (such as him unfollowing me out of the blue) and I give stuff like that NO meaning because it GENUINELY doesn’t affect me since I know in imagination im happily married. I know you’ll tell me that im not truly fulfilled if the 3D is making me feel some type of way, but Im not sure how else to explain that I don’t know why not even the tiny bit of movement has happened (I dont want movement, I want my whole desire, just trying to say how in my physical senses there has been nothing experienced).
I keep up with your posts weekly and I know you’ll tell me that if im noticing the absence im not in the state, that im dominantly still in lack, etc but I truly felt like I was fulfilled. I never check the 3D, I never even have “opposing” thoughts (since thoughts are an indicator of my state) so I thought for months that everything is fine. Even now I am prioritizing my state because I know that by writing this, I am being in an unfulfilled state, but im not sure what else to do. After a while it gets a little weird noticing it hasn’t reflected even though im fulfilled within. Am I doing anything wrong? I dont have a strong desire for my sp anymore because I worked a lot on myself and no longer need him, but I do wish to be with him still.
Thank you rem.
hi love! so im not in your brain, so i don't know every little thing you think/do throughout the day, so im gonna give u some examples of things i was accidentally doing whenever i was manifesting an sp that was keeping my 3d from reflecting, even tho i was sure i was 100% fulfilled. maybe you'll realize you're doing something similar and be able to stop it?
i'd prepare myself for what i'd say to my sp when he finally reached out, or i'd daydream about yelling at him when he did bc i knew before we got back together we'd have to talk about our past issues. this was contradicting the fact that i was manifesting already being in a relationship with my sp. why would i be identifying with those thoughts when i was already with my sp?
i like to daydream in order to fulfill myself, but sometimes i'd stop paying attention and accidentally slip into a state of longing without even realizing it. like i'd be daydreaming about something bc i desperately wanted to experience it in my reality, not because i was experiencing it in my 4D, if that makes sense. what i like to do to combat that is while im daydreaming i just like to tell myself that im re-living a memory and that im so happy this thing already happened/is happening. it helps me think from my desire instead of thinking of it!
my friends have shared that one of their mistakes while manifesting an sp was still wanting their sp to be missing them/obsessed with them/constantly thinking about how badly they wanted to be with them, daydreaming about scenarios of them being jealous, etc. this was making them identify with separation, when they really wanted to identify as their sp's partner.
similarly, an issue i had was focusing way too much on how my sp was feeling about me, instead of focusing on how i was feeling about them. when i'd daydream or imagine, i'd imagine them loving ME or confessing their feelings to ME, but then i realized that how i feel matters more than how they feel, because this is my reality! so instead i'd focus on how much i loved them and how amazing i felt being loved by them. that's why, as i mentioned in my most recent post, i changed from affirming "my sp loves me" to "i love my sp."
while manifesting my sp, i knew the first step of us getting back together would be him texting me, so every time i picked up my phone and i saw he hadn't texted me yet id feel sooo discouraged. what helped me with this was telling myself things like "ofc my sp didn't text me, he's literally in the same room as me why would he text me lol?" this would help me feel like we were already together!
i was still PISSED at my sp. idk what your story is with your sp, but mine was an ex, and i was mad at him for breaking up with me still. i had to forgive him because i was constantly holding onto that anger and fantasizing about yelling at him over it. this one might not apply to u depending on your relationship with your sp idk!
similarly, i'd find myself getting mad at my sp for not "conforming" to my affs? even tho he didn't even know i wanted him back? so once again i focused on feeling positively towards my sp and imagining how much i loved him. once i started focusing on the version of my sp that was such a good and loving and attentive boyfriend, he started showing up that way in my reality. remember, there is NO ONE TO CHANGE BUT SELF! focus on changing how YOU feel about your sp instead of how he feels about you!
i know you say that you never feel negatively about your sp or your situation, but as i've mentioned in other posts, sometimes the feeling of knowing feels like nothing. so while you're noticing nothing is happening in your 3D, you can still be accepting the fact that nothing is happening without it giving you any negative emotions.
my advice would be to implement the distraction technique. this is what helped me finally manifest my sp. i had a favorite person attachment to my sp (bc of my bpd) so i was thinking of him ALL day long, and sometimes i wouldn't be paying enough attention to know if i was thinking of him from the state of the wish fulfilled, or from the state of lack. so instead, every time i thought of him at all (negatively or positively) i'd say "it is done" (which instantly shifted me into the state of the wish fulfilled) and then force myself to think of something else. so many of my followers have had success with this technique! this technique isn't necessary at all (you're 100% allowed to think of your sp) but i found it rlly helpful for my adhd brain. it can also be really helpful for you if you can't pinpoint what you're doing wrong!
i really hope this post was helpful to you!! <3 let me know if anything helped!
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ddlcbrainrot · 28 days
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What are your ships in ddlc? I noticed you do all the ships- If you ship all then what’s your favorite ship?
Now, whoever you are how did you that i was thinking of talking about my ship opinions soon?? mind wizard
SO, here’s the thing : when it comes to ships in genera it takes a lot for me to actually have OTPs and stuff and this is especially true in ddlc for me. For me shipping is more of a “sure, i could get behind this” sort of thing, except if once in a blue moon i find that one ship that alters my brain chemistry but believe it or not that has not really happened to me with any of the ddlc ships. It has happened with the game as a whole, but not really with the ships. The only one that has come close i’d say is sayonika but that’s more bc they happen to be the characters that i think about the most
That being said, i’d say i ship every ship in the game, simply because i could honestly see all of them working out in one way or another. Sure, they’re are some i like more than others but generally all of them work. And yes, this includes the Mc ships even though i like them less bc the side stories blew it out of the park with the chemistry between the girls
Speaking of the side stories, they are the sole reason i got into the shipping side of the fandom lol. The base game, as influential as it was for me, never really ignited any shipping sparks ig. I actually could not care less for the shipping before the side stories, bc most of it felt kind of trope-y ironically enough. Like, Natsuri was the big one, which was only popular bc of the whole opposite’s attract thing (not that there’s anything wrong with that ofc, it just never really resonated with me). Sayonika was a victim of what i like to call the “leftovers syndrome” where two characters are shipped bc they are the only ones left to be shipped with.
And Mc.. well let’s talk about that actually. Mc x Yuri is well… how do i put this. They have absolutely nothing in common. I don’t necessarily hate this ship however, if i see it done right i can like it. Mc x Natsuki was alright, the banter was fun, they actually have things they can talk about, it’s overall a nice ship. I will say i prefer them as close friends, but if i was to see media (fan art, fics, mods etc) where it’s done right, i can appreciate it. Mc x Sayori is also a ship i can enjoy from time to time, probably the most out of any Mc ship. Again, i do prefer talking about their friendship more though but now that i’m writing this down i realise i’m just a slut for male/female friendships. Mc x Monika truly depends on what context the characters are given. Are we talking about non-sentient Monika x Mc? Bc that can be pretty fun. If we are talking about sentient Monika x Mc, i see a very interesting dynamic (not a particularly good one) where Monika is basically using Mc as a vessel for the player in her desperation. Can Mc feel this dynamic? Does he understand in some way that he’s the second choice, even if he doesn’t know the truth about their world? How does it affect him? Its fun to ponder about this ig, but it doesn’t really make for a healthy relationship
Then the side stories came out, where the characters evolved from their one-dimensional tropes into actual personalities with enticing dynamics between them and i was immediately sold. That being said, i still don’t really have an OTP per say, bc as stated before all of them could work out. Which is definitely bc of how we get to see each of them interact individually in each side story. In every side story, we see each character interact with the other and learn how to grow as individuals because of it. I could see each pairing happening individually, i could see them being a poly couple, maybe even a qpr, or just a very close friend group too! There is a lot of love between the characters, whether that is romantic, platonic or something in between im not 100% certain on, but the love is definitely there.
Anyway, you also asked what my favourite ship would be, and i’ll probably say Sayonika since most of the media I consume tends to be with them
WOW this was a long post. Hope i didn’t bore you too much. Thank you for the ask!!
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romana-after-dark · 11 months
Text
The Wrong Way: Chapter 10 (Finale and true ending)
Tumblr media
Dark!Joel Miller x Fem!Reader
Tommy Miller x reader
Masterlist
Spotify playlist
Summery: You are sold to Joel to clear up some of your fathers' debts, and he takes you back to his house where him, Tommy, and high ranking members of his raiding trope stay. Joel is mean, cruel, and hash, but had small moments of softness that confuse you in your venerable state. Over time, you get to know him and Tommy, and see different sides of each, and both are hiding secrets. Was it possible to fall in love under these circumstances? Or was that just another way Joel was fucking with you?
Aka: my mom sold me to One Direction
WARNINGS FOR FULL FIC, NOT CHAPTER BY CHAPTER UNLESS SOMETHING NEW IS ADDED AFTER MASTER WARNING LIST: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT!!!! Fic contains graphic depictions of sexual assault, rape, molestation, dubcon/non con. Blow Jobs, PIV sex, lose of virginity, sex trafficking, past incest, death/people dying everywhere, Stockholm syndrome, falling for your rapist, victim blaming, torcher, branding, physical abuse, rape (not Joel), somno, dub con on tommy? idk he's not really into it but feels like he has to, self-harm/depression/suicidal thoughts (not a lot) but fair warning, major age gaps, love triangle, pregnancy/birth, threats of abortion, major character death, mentions of potential csa/child abuse but does not even come close to happening, forced pregnancy, forced housewife shit, breeding, breeding kink?!?!
UUUUHHH ya'll i put the warnings there so uh you can't blame me for what I've done.
Before anything i gotta say the "id do anything for you, you amost killed me, that was for you" bit is curtesy of me and @the-fox-den messing around so credits to them XD
I cannot appreciate y'all readership more. I cried writing this on and off not only bc the content but that it's over. full emotions at the end!
Enjoy! (this is not enjoyable.)
***************
“Hey honey.” Tommy’s voice was groggy and sweet in the late morning. “You up already?”
You shuffled your body back, closer to where Tommy lay, warm and inviting… you missed him. You missed him so much. “Yeah just thinking…”
Nestling his face into your face, Tommy holds you tighter, a protective hand over your belly. “What about?” When you didn’t answer, he knew what you were thinking of. “Ah… you miss him, don’t you?” There wasn’t judgment in his voice, just the soft understanding that Tommy always gave, a grace that showed he knew what Joel had done to your mind.
Nevertheless, you tear up, embarrassed at your own weakness for the man who had nearly killed you and your baby. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me… he had me so messed up and twisted… I didn’t know which way was up half the time… I felt like I was living in a haze…” You begin to cry, letting the frustrations out.
“Hey, hey now it’s alright. He’s good at that… he’s good at jumbl’n you up enough you can’t see straight… and he’s got that look… something in his eyes when his attention is focused on you… just makes you want to make him happy… I know what you mean… Did he hurt you a lot since I left?”
“No” You shake your head. “That was the strange part… It was… it was good… especially after he found out I was pregnant… It was… it was good, actually. I thought he changed… He didn’t… but I had a lot of freedom, I could do pretty much anything with Lorenzo watching me.” You chuckle a little bit, thinking of your friend. “At first I don’t think he was thrilled to be on babysitting duty, but when he realized he could drink and smoke all day I think he liked it a lot more.”
The smile in his voice was evident. “I’m glad you had a friend after I left, honey.” He brushed hair out of your face. “I saw… I saw Joel a few months back… he said you and Lorenzo had gotten close.”
“Yeah” But the tears came again.
“Hey, hey what’s wrong?”
“I never said good bye” You cry. “Lorenzo… everything happened so fast and I didn’t get to say goodbye and now I don’t know if he’s even gonna live.”
Tommy coaxed you to turn over and face him, his face beautiful in the rising orange sun kissing his skin and complimenting his dark hair. “Honey, listen, Maria is gonna make sure he’s taken care of. He’s gonna be okay and once he’s rested up, I’m sure he’ll come to Boston, or at least get word out if he’s got other plans.” Tommy didn’t actually know any such thing but he wanted to comfort you.
“He’s coming to Boston” You assure. “He promised me… and him and Zach are a couple, actually.”
His face was one of confusion, then realization. He chuckled. “Love really just… finds a way, huh?”
When you look into his eyes… you can’t help but agree. “Yeah, it does…” He face was so close to you, it’d been so long since he’d held you… even before he left, you two had grown distant, Joel successfully putting a edge between you two, and you hadn’t spend the time with him you used to, angry and upset with him for reasons that didn't make sense… but that was how badly Joel had messed up your sense of direction. And yet, none of that mattered when Tommy was in trouble. You’d put yourself between Joel’s gun and Tommy, and if you weren’t pregnant you’d do it again. Tommy was always there for you, as much as he could be… he was manipulated by Joel, just like you were, but still he tried… and here he was, sleeping on a cold hard floor with you because he uprooted his entire life with Maria… for you.
The kiss was sudden, you pressing your lips to his and for a sweet, lingering moment he kissed back, chest rising as he breathed through nose, savoring you before pulling back whispering your name. 
“I love you…” You confess, eyes closed and foreheads pressed together.
“Honey, you don’t… you don’t have to feel or do anything just because I’m here-”
“I love you.” More assertive this time. He thinks you feel like you have to, like there's pressure… but you never felt that with Tommy. Tommy wasn’t Joel. Tommy was kind and patient, Tommy was loving and gentle and good… Tommy was the one you loved.
Tommy reached out, caressing your hair. “I love you too, honey, I’m sorry I had to leave you” the words just began spilling out from him, tumbling out Tommy’s mouth like a desperate plea for absolution for sins he never willingly committed. “I’m sorry I never stopped him, I’m sorry I didn’t do more, I’m sorry I left you alone in all that-”
You cut him off with another kiss, needier and lonely, clamoring for a connection. “It’s okay, Tommy. It’s okay. I’m okay now, everything will be okay.” And it would be. You were with Tommy now, and Tommy would keep you safe. You hands wander, trailing down his back as you continued to kiss him, feeling him, getting to know the curves and dips and muscles of him for the first time. Your hands move to undo his pants, but he stops you.
“We don’t- honey you’ve had a traumatic week”
“Tommy, I want you…” You whine, and you did. You did, so fucking bad. You missed Joel, you missed Tommy, your head was swirling with guilt and fear and a deep, deep down ache of loneliness that you didn’t know how to fill other than skin on skin. It was all you really knew. Nearly everyone you had cared about, save for Zach, and Lorenzo showed their love with touch. Even June did, although it wasn’t sexual. Tommy always held you when you cried, sat up in his lap with arms wrapped around you as he did now. “I want you Tommy, please?” You whine. You couldn’t deny that the pregnancy hormones worsened things, making you incredibly needy. “I need you, Tommy”
Tommy sighed. He knows he shouldn’t. The week you’ve had, the year you've had, hell, the entire life you had groomed you into submitting your body to men for money, shelter, affection. This is what you knew. Then there was Maria, his girlfriend who he lived with, with whom he swore fidelity too, who had seen this poor, young traumatized her and willingly let him go because she trusted him… That was the other thing, you were still so young… Tommy had made the comment to Joel that if Sarah had lived, he she would be older than this girl in his arms was now… That should’ve made Joel disgusted… shouldn’t it disgust Tommy too? But Tommy was weak, he knew he was weak… and he loved her, didn’t he? This wasn’t a lust filled rape, this wasn’t him taking advantage of her youth and naivety, they were in love, and she needed him. 
“Yeah baby, I’ll take care of you.” Tommy allowed you to undo his pants while he quickly undid your flannel. In the daylight and as he pulled it and the dress over your shoulders, he could see the full extent of your injuries. Where your collar hid, there was a mixture of purple and green bruising around your neck and throat, accentuated by red from the rope burn, and yet the hardest to stomach was your chest. A large black bruise formed on your chest from the repeated punching. “Oh honey… you’re lucky he didn’t break a rib.”
“I don’t wanna talk about him.” You grumble, beginning to shimmy him out of his pants. “Just want you, Tommy. I want you the right way, like we never got the chance to, the way Joel took from us.”
“The right way” He kissed you, lips full of love, offering protection and solace in the distortion. He wastes no time  pulling your underwear down and slipping a hand to cup your sex, immediately giving you the pleasure he swore he could your first time together, but you had refused. He felt so good, firm and assured in his movements between your legs, but soft and caring, making you feel special in his touch.
You spit in your hand and begin to jerk his cock as you both laid there, your giant belly getting in the way. “Usually wetter, the last month things have been… different” A bit embarrassed, you mutter into his shoulder. You were turned on, very much so, but your lower body didn’t seem to get the message. Joel never seemed to care much. You got wet eventually, especially after cumming, but the in between usually hurt.
“That’s normal.” Tommy assured. “Pregnancy hormones. But I’ll make sure you’re real wet, baby, get on your back.” Doing as you were told, you roll over, Tommy slithering his way down you and pressing affectionate kisses over your swollen stomach. “So beautiful…”
He ate you like a man starved, like a past meal on death row, desperate and savoring every last taste. Joel always felt good, so, so, good, but there was an electricity here, all the built up tension between you two, like a rubber band finally snapping and he couldn’t get enough. Tommy worshiped at the shrine of you, adoration in the prayer on his lips, his arms wrapped around your legs as you grew closer so you couldn’t wiggle away, he needed every second, every inch, every taste, every sound reclaimed for him. It was a conquest, a crusade, a burning need as he licked into your folds, pleasure and fire and love building in your core, fingers opening up to prepare you to take him, fucking into you and god, you were moaning for him.
“Tommy! Tommy please make me cum, please, I’ll make you feel so good, I’ll do anything you want, just-”
“Lay there and take it, princess, that’s all you gotta do.” His head dived back between your legs and eagerly devoured, lips latching on your swollen mound, sucking noisily, soaking your as promised. Two fingers turned into three, and while his lips sucked his tongue flicked at your clit, causing your legs to shake. You entangle your fingers in his long, dark locks, having grown longer since you’ve seen him last and yank him towards you. You didn’t need to guide him, you didn’t need his tongue deeper inside you; he knew what he was doing. What you needed was something to grip onto as your world shattered around you. Tommy was always who you reached for. Everything you needed, Tommy did his best to provide, and when you were terrified, as Joel dragged you away to kill you, all you wanted was your Tommy. You screamed his name as you did now. Gushing cum on his face, you yank at his hair and fuck his face while you ride out your orgasm on his still moving mouth.
Vaguely, you register him kissing his way up your body, laying around you as he couldn’t lay on top, Tommy kissed you back to life, finding his soft eyes staring at you as you open your own… 
“You still want me?” He asks, a rough but caring hand stroking your face.
“More than anything.”
He was careful, he always was with you, treating you like a fragile porcelain doll, but you promised him you could take it and he sped up, fucking you, really fucking you the way you had wanted for months after you grew comfortable in that house. He knelt before you knees on the hard floor but showed no signs of pain as his hips snapped into you, your moans growing louder.
“Tommy!” You call out for him, ecstasy building inside you like the sweat on his forehead.
“Right here honey, I’m right here.” He rubbed your knee that he had braced himself on. “Neve gonna leave you again, I promise.”
“You- you promise?” Looking up at him from this angle… he looked god-like. Tan and strong, but handsome and kind… you wanted him forever, you wanted only him and for him to have only you. He filled you up over and over and over, your hips canting up to meet him.
“Promise, princess. I’ll never leave you, ever. You’re mine.”
His.
“I’m yours” You whine for him, on the precipice of your climax, you just needed…
“And I’m yours. Now, I need you to come, and when you do, I want you to scream my name, okay? Can you do that for me, beautiful girl?” His hand was on your hip, large and rough and covering Joel’s initially branded on you.
You’re panting heavily, so, so close when he sets a brutal pace, spilling you over. 
Tommy thinks this is the most beautiful sound he’s ever heard. All the times you called for him when you needed him, when Joel was done, when you were hungry or needed to use the bathroom or just were lonely, none of it compared to this…
You scream for him, crying out loudly as he continues to thrust into you, talking you through it like he had the panic attack that had overtaken you when you gave him your virginity.
“Just like that, honey, good girl.” He coo’s, ever letting up on your sensitive cunt. “So pretty coming on my cock, love when you scream my name… there you go, pretty little thing…”
Tommy was right. He made you scream his name louder than Joel’s.
When he came inside you, claiming you as his in a primal, animalistic sense, the cold began to settle on the sheen of sweat between you, and Tommy pulled a blanket over you. A little rest before heading out.
“Did you mean what you said?” You ask.
He didn't need clarification. Tommy knew you well enough. “Yeah, I did. I’m gonna stay with you, honey.”
“What about Maria?”
A fair question, but Tommy sighed nonetheless. “I’ll send word I won't’ be come’n back… I think… I think she knew, she knew before I ever did.”
When the two of you set out on the road again, you wanted to walk for a while. All the riding the last day made you sore and you just walked to stretch your legs, aching joints and pregnant body needing movement. You and Tommy talked, really talked about the future, what it would look like in Boston, wherever it is exactly Lorenzo and Zach had for you… Someone Tess knew? A couple who had been a ‘doomsday prepper’ before… You wouldn’t live on their farm, but in a house nearby. Somewhere fairly safe for you and your baby, and Lorenzo, Zach and Tommy to protect it… Tommy confirmed what you had secretly hoped but could never ask. He’d be your baby's father, he’d raise them with you, loving it as his own.
“Well ain’t that sweet.” You freeze in place when you hear Joel’s voice, the older brother stepping into sight from a tree, gun pointed at you and Tommy. “Fucked my wife, stealing my daughter,” he looks at Tommy. “I can’t believe you’d sink this low, Tommy.”
The irony of who was sinking low was lost on Joel, Tommy was aware. There was no point fighting it. One hand held the reigns of the horse, his right was in the air as yours were. “Joel, c’mon, I know damn well you aren’t going to hurt either one of us so just let-” He was cut off by his own scream, falling against the horse and gripping his upper arm.
“TOMMY!” You scream for him, rushing to his side before Joel shouts to get away. You want to help Tommy… but you had a duty to your child, a duty you knew Tommy would understand. You cried, looking him over. He was still standing, clearly in pain, but blood shooting out of his arm. Nothing vital.
Joel only looked at you. “That’s right, scream his name, little one. Always his name, isn’t it?” Joel stepped forward, ignoring Tommy’s anguished plea’s for him to stay away from you; Joel’s sights were on you and you alone. Nothing else existed, not even his bleeding baby brother. “Sceam’n for him when you think I’m hurting you, when you think I’ve been cruel, when you want his company because I’M NOT GOOD ENOUGH”
You barely registered your own tears, the trembling in your stance, knowing there was nothing you could do.
“That’s how I found you, heard you screaming my own fucking brothers name like a whore in that cabin while pregnant with my daughter!”
Shaking your head, you take a weak step back. “Joel, please, I was scared. I was so scared, you tried to kill me-”
“Is that what you think that was?” A cruel, mocking laugh escaped him in his mania before turning to Tommy. “Is that what she told you, Thomas? ‘Oh Tommy!’” His voice was light and girlish as he mimicked you. “‘Oh Tommy, Joel’s so mean to me!’ Well that ain’t the truth. She’s a cheating whore, and she needs to do better for Sarah, so I’m trying to teach her.” 
Out of the corner of your eyes, you can see the visible confusion on Tommy’s face turn into shock and horror. “Sarah? Jesus Joel! Is that what all this is? You’re trying to recreate Sarah? Or is it the picket fence two parent household you never got with her?” 
“Don’t talk about her!” Joel screamed at the younger man, his attention turning to Tommy, and you watched for your chance.
“SARAH IS DEAD! SHE’S DEAD AND SHE’S NOT COMING BACK!” His next words… Tommy didn’t mean, not one single bit, he witnessed himself how much Joel tried to save his child, the little girl who was the entire world to him… But he needed Joel’s attention on him, he needed to be the focus of Joel’s anger. “SARAH IS DEAD AND IT’S YOUR FAULT!”
You take a step back.
“SHUT UP!” Another scream from Joel.
“MY NIECE IS DEAD BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T LOVE HER ENOUGH TO TRY HARDER-”
“SHUT YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH!”
But Tommy already moved, Joel’s teary eyes and blinding anger slowing his perception and Tommy moved the barrel of the gun away from him and you before Joel took the shot.
“RUN!”
And you did. You didn’t know where to, but you ran for your life, for your babies. Hearing a gun go off again, you stop briefly wondering if you just heard either the man you loved or the father of your child die… but there was no time to mourn or think, you needed to go. 8 months pregnant, you do everything you can to keep running, but you are stopped by a blinding pain in your stomach, causing you to scream before you can even stop yourself.
When it fades, you open your eyes to see an infected.
There was no time for pain.
Contractions going again, you prayed for another round of braxton-hicks and not actual labor, you prayed Tommy was alive, you prayed the infected behind you couldn’t move fast due to one thing or another… but you couldn’t stop to look. The adrenalynn did most of the work, as did sheer willpower. You didn’t think you could power through running so fast and so long if it was just you, but the mother instinct to protect this baby went above everything. Like a blessing, you see the cabin you had stayed at and took off towards it, infected at your heels, horrific noises that you shall surely hear the rest of your life should you survive this letting you know there was no time to even wince at a particularly sharp contraction. They were not spaced… and if Lorenzo was right, and if this wasn’t braxton-hicks…. You were going to give birth in this cabin.
The slam of the door behind you did not save you, as soon you found yourself sitting in an empty room with a chair propped against the door as the infected tried to get in, your switchblade gripped in your hands, as the baby tried to come out.
You can’t help but scream in pain; the infected already knew where you were, it was only a matter of time until it came in and you had to be face to face with it for the first time. You’d seen them from afar of course, but you had never been close; someone always protected you, Zach, Lorenzo, Tommy, Joel… you’re whole life you had depended on men to save you from other men and a litany of evils in this world and none of them had been able to stop this. No one stepped in between you and your dad, no one stepped in between you and Joel, and no one would step between you and this abomination… 
But you’d try your damndest to step between your baby and whatever might harm them, and if that meant facing this infected, you’d do it.
When it burst in, you don’t bother hiding our scream; they looked horrific and the sounds were just as bad, but god, the smell was nauseating to your pregnant senses. None of that compared to the genuine fear as you fought for your life and for this baby. The creature was right in your face as you stabbed him, the jackknife now successfully ending two threats to you; the infected and Nick.
The moment you have to breath is gone when you hear the cry of your baby on the floor. You had given birth to a baby girl, just as Joel wanted, alone, with a bite on your leg.
You were infected, and this baby would grow up without a mom and with a psychopath rapist and murder for a dad. Tommy was surely dead, and even if Joel found you in the cabin she’d grow up with Joel. You didn’t believe he’d sexually abuse her, but physically? She’d be lucky if she made it to 10, not the mention the other men around her…
There was no time to cry or to smile, you couldn’t rejoice in the birth of this little girl or cry at the circumstances, you thought back to what Maura instructed you, Joel, and Lorenzo to do in the event you gave birth without her. Using that knife, you cut the cord and tie it.
Had you given birth before the bite? Was she infect? Had all your efforts to protect this innocent been useless? You once again kick yourself for not leaving with Zach any of the times he offered…She’d suffer because of you, if she lived at all. 
As your daughter screams, you scream too, loud and anguished and nameless. You didn’t cry for Tommy, for Zach, for Joel, for Lorenzo or June or anyone that had ever shown they wanted to help… no, you just screamed, because there was no other option.
Tommy had seen you run and tried to follow you, tried to call to you, but you either couldn’t hear him or could defier his voice from Joel who was currently crippled with a shot leg… Tommy couldn’t bring himself to kill Joel… he couldn’t. No matter how much of a big game he talked, Joel was still his big brother, and despite the telling signs of aging and the obvious way Joel was no longer Joel behind those eyes… They were still he eyes, and as Joel looked up at Tommy pointing the gun down on him, Tommy couldn’t fire. He couldn’t fire at the man who had saved his life countless times, the father of his niece, the father of the baby he had swore to raise as his own, and despite the way Joel had clearly lost his mind, lost all sense of reality… Tommy couldn’t kill his brother because yes, that was still his brother.
When he found you, it didn’t take long to figure out what happened, with the baby in your arms and the infected on the ground… your bite was clear and prominent.
“Oh honey… no…” Tommy dropped the gun on the floor and likewise dropped to his knees as he walked to you and the child. A little girl… 
“Tommy, please, please take her. If you don’t want her, take her to Zach and Lorenzo, just please take her-”
“I’ll take her, I’ll raise her, I swear.” Maria and him had talked about kids before… would she want this? Tommy couldn’t stop looking you over, he couldn’t process that you had been bit… this wasn’t a rattlesnake bite, there wasn’t a way to get the venom out… it was over. “I’m sorry.” He cried, tears flowing over before he registered they were coming. “I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you, I’m sorry-”
“Tommy” You stop him, tears matching his. “Tommy, it's okay. Just protect her, okay? That’s what matters now, her.” Everything hurt, and you could swear there was something already changing in you, but maybe it was in your head.
Heavy boots clomping on the floor. “Get away from her.” Joel spoke, his voice low and dark, despite being unarmed. You notice his limp and the blood… Tommy hadn’t shot Joel to kill… and had greatly underestimated what Joel would do to get to you, including walking on a shot leg.
Tommy didn’t even turn around, still holding you and his, yes his baby, because there was no way in hell Joel was walking out with her. “She’s infected, Joel.”
Joel didn’t reply, and you looked up at him over Tommy’s shoulder, confirming it. You nudge Tommy to move, revealing his daughter. You speak before Tommy does. “I cut the cord before I was bit.” Your eyes dart to Tommy. “Before.” You lied, and you knew it was dangerous… but you needed your daughter to have a fighting chance.
Joel shook his head. “No, no we’ll get you help, theres gotta be-”
Grabbing his gun, Tommy turned around. “THERE’S NO HELP, JOEL!” He shouts. “This is your fault! This is all your fault and you can’t fix it!” His steps were long and quick, pinning an unarmed Joel to the wall gun to his head. Tommy was shaking, but you didn’t need to aim to shoot point blank. “I’ll fucking kill you for what you did to them.”
For once, you believed it. 
And it seems Joel did too. “That’s my daughter, Tommy. Yuh ain’t take’n her.” But Joel’s voice was weak, small… 
“Yes he is, Joel.” You speak from the floor. “He’s taking her, and one of you needs to kill me.”
Both of Miller brother turn to you at that, anguish and pain in Tommy’s eyes. “I… I can’t do that… I can’t… Honey, no…” You knew how badly he was hurting right now… but you didn’t want Joel dead, and someone needed to do it. You didn’t know how long you had.
“I know, Tommy. I know.” You smile sympathetically at your lover, and beckon him towards you. Tommy gives Joel a warning look, but takes the pistol off his brother and comes to you. “I know. I know you can’t and that’s okay. You take he, that’s what you need to do for me, okay?” Looking down at the crying baby in your arms you give her a kiss and whisper that you love her before pushing her into Tommy’s welcoming arms. “I know you feel guilty…” Reaching up to touch his face one last time, you smile as he leans into your touch. “Sweet, sweet boy… you have nothing to be ashamed of, you’ve always done right by me. But if you feel you need absolution, this is your chance.”
Tommy looked at the little girl in his arms… she was so small, so fragile… but he would protect her, he would do right by her the way he couldn’t do to you. She was his baptism, his new life, a fresh start. He was a father now. “I will” He looked at you again.
“Her name is Ellie” Fimly, you spoke it into truth. “It’s not Dorthy, it’s not Dolly, its Ellie.” Looking up at Joel, the hurt clear on his face at the erasure of what he wanted to give her, you offer a small mercy, the middle name he agreed on, named after the singer he liked so much, and your friend back home. “Ellie June.”
Tommy nodded. “Ellie June, it’s beautiful.” He touched his forehead to you softly and you slipped your hand to touch Ellie’s little toes. This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home, this little piggy had roast beef, this little piggy had none, and this little piggy cried wee, wee, wee… “I’ll never forget you, and I’ll make sure she knows about you, okay? She’s gonna know who you are.”
“Zach… please, get word to Zach somehow, tell him he’s an uncle.”
“I will, I swear.”
“And Lorenzo, Lorenzo said he’d be the godfather. Please thank him for everything he’s done for me.” You sob thinking about your best friend.
“I will, I’ll tell him.”
“And Zach, please tell him I love him so much, and thank him for being my big brother.”
“They both love you, hermosa, I know they do.” He stroked your hair with his free hand.
“Tommy, one more thing?”
“Anything”
“June, please, can you find her? Tell her I loved her, she’s Ellie godmother in spirit.”
“Abslutly, is there anyone else? I’ll do it.”
You shake your head, tears flying as you do. “No, those three… they are all I know- wait, Maura and Jack, Jack risked everything to help me escape, and Maura with my pregnancy” You chuckle a bit. “Who knew dying had so many many loose ends to tie up” You hadn’t realized… you had grown a small community. It had taken a village to keep you and your baby alive.
He smiled. “I’ll tell them all, honey, I promise, especially Zach.” Tommy had an older brother too, and a;thought his had turn into a monster, he understood the love of a protective brother, and would not be who he is without Joel in their childhood and youth.
You whisper a thank you, before sealing his promises with a tearful kiss. When Tommy pulled away, you knew it was time…
“Goodbye Ellie, mommy loves you.”
Then, it was just you and Joel. 
“I never wanted this, little one.” He spoke, voice filled with sincerity and pain. “I know you think I hate you, that I want you to hurt-”
“I don’t think that Joel.” You deny his accusation, but you are honest. For once, you can be honest. “I think you’re a broken man who doesn’t know how to love, but I don’t think you hate me, and I don’t know you never wanted any of this.”
“I loved you! Everything I did was for you!”
“You almost killed me-”
“THAT WAS FOR YOU!” He screamed at you, but it wasn’t rage or fury, it was wretched and broken and him. A heart broken father who had lost his daughter, and is now about to lose his wife, and if Tommy can help it, his brother and baby.
Closing your eyes, you move on. “You can’t have her, Joel.”
He steps closer, boots loud against the creaking floor. “Tommy ain’t taking my daughter, I ain’t losing her.”
A dry laugh. “I’m not sure you ever loved Ellie-”
“Her names not Ellie, it’s Dolly-”
“You loved Sarah, and Ellie was a replacement. What if we had a boy, Joel? C’mon. Let her be, let them go.” Couldn’t he give you this? A deathbed wish to save your baby… 
“No.” But you could tell he was wavering. “That’s my daughter.”
“What’s your plan then? You don’t have day care. The only raiders you could have trusted with her are Tommy and Lorenzo and they are gone. You can’t do it alone… You’ve seen those men gang rape women, you think they won’t rape Ellie?”
“Stop calling her that.”
“You think they won’t beat her, touch her? Even if they don’t, is she suppossed to grow up around violence and rape? You gotta think this through, Joel! There’s no day care, no PTO, you’re two top men just left you, you can’t keep her safe! You can’t protect her, she’s gonna die like-”
“Fine!”
There's a long, shocked silence between the two of you, the gravity of what he’s agreed to give up… You weren’t sure if you believed in god, and if you did, whose god it was… you weren’t sure you believed in an afterlife, or anything of the sort. But if you did… you could be convinced that Sarah’s spirit touched Joel, breaking through his obsession, his mental illness, the delusions he had… to keep her little sister safe. 
“I’ll… she can go with Tommy.” Heartbroken, Joel acquiesced, then knelt in front of your exhausted body. “I know you don’ think I loved you, but… just know I cared, okay? I just-”
“I believe you.” You took in his scent once more. “For what it’s worth, I think maybe we loved each other in our own sick way… It was always gonna end like this… ” You push the jackknife into his hands.
“Where did you get this?” Joel referenced the knife with wooden encasing. 
“Nick’s skeleton.”
Joel couldn’t help but smile “Brave girl” He kissed you, and you allowed it, wanting to taste him just one more time. 
Knife in grip, you taking rough hand and bring it to your throat, tucked under your chin just beneath where your wet faces pressed together, foreheads and noses and lips melding into one as he could consume your soul, bring you into him forever.
“I love you, little one. Always have.”
“And I loved you, Joel.”
“What’s that song you like?”
“Red River Valley”
“Yeah, that’s the one. How did that last line start?”
You smile, eyes closed, and start singing it. “Come and sit by my side if you love me…”
Joel joined in the pair of you singing together. “Do not hasten to bid me adieu, but remember the the red river valley” You’re voice choked up so bad on the last word, you couldn’t finish it.
You think back to the night Ellie was conceived, the night Tommy left, they way Joel fucked you, words uttering into life the possession he had over you. It was foolish to think you could be free of him in this life. That pain? The pain is mine. Your cries are mine, your cunt is mine. And if you bleed?
Joel sang the last line for you, voice as soft as a whisper.. “And the cowboy who loved you so true.”
His lips pressed a final kiss and you felt the sharp pain and oozing liquid leaving you, your gasps and cries of pain stifled by his mouth. Eventually, the warmth of the blood enveloped you into darkness, and the agony of this life you were subjected to since childhood ended.
If you bleed? Your blood is mine.
Joel inhaled your last breath into his, sucking in the evidence of your life with his lips attached to yours until his head grew dizzy from lack of oxygen. Your blood was cooling on his body.
Joel limped out of the room, covered in her blood, only to find Tommy rocking a baby in one arm and a gun aimed at Joel with the other, tears streaming down his face.
“You killed her.” Tommy stated the obvious.
Not even bothering to raise his hands, Joel replied. “The infected killed her, Tom-”
“No.” The low tone of voice warned of something serious, and Joel pondered if Tommy was capable of actually killing him. “You did this. All of this. This last year you beat and tortured and raped her and made her think this was love. Calling her your wife, Joel?” Tommy shook his head in disgust. “I didn’t think you were capable of this, even after everything.”
Joel glowered his eyes at Tommy, not happy to have this talk again. “I didn’t see you ever stop’n me, Tommy.”
“No.” Tommy’s answer was candid. “That’s my cross to bare. And she-” he needed down to the sleeping baby in his arms. “She’s my vindication, and I’m gonna do right by her.”
Joel held out his hands, causing Tommy to step back. “Give me my daughter, Tommy.”
Worry crossed his face. “You promised-”
“I just wanna say goodbye” It was rare Joel spoke like this… so quiet, so soft… But Tommy didn’t trust him. “No, you-you’ll hurt her.”
The way Joel looked in Tommy’s eyes was earnest… so much hurt and sadness Tommy felt like he was actually looking at his brother again… “I’d never hurt my daughter.”
Tommy believed him. “Gun to your head the whole time. You try to take her away, I shoot you.”
“Okay.”
He was right, the gun was pressed to his head as Joel said his goodbye. “I love you. No matter what anyone tells you, I love you, and I loved your mom. She’s up in heaven watching out for you, she’s there with your big sister, your grandparents, everyone. They love you, just like I do, just like Tommy does. I’m gonna protect you still, okay? Jackson is under my protection, nothing bad’s gonna happen to you or your family.” Joel will protect his daughter with his life, and that means protecting those who care for her. Tommy, Maria, all of Jackson. As long as she's taken care of they are safe. “I love you, baby girl.”
Hesitantly, Joel handed Ellie back to Tommy, her new daddy, and he felt like he was letting go of a peace of himself. Nother brother bothered hiding the tears.
“I never want to see your face again, Joel. Do not come near me or my child ever again.”
Joel wanted to argue, to say it was his daughter, and he could take her whenever he wanted… But she was right. Ellie was better off with Tommy. Tommy could provide a stable home, with a mom and a dad, a community to make friends, school, church, and most importantly, safety. Tommy was younger, he could keep up with a child, fight off what he needed to… Tommy was a good uncle to Sarah… he’d be a good dad to her.
“Tommy, wait” But Tommy kept walking. “Wait!”
“SHHH!” Tommy whipped around, whispering harshly. “You’ll wake her!” 
As if Joel didn’t raise a whole child himself. “Just… here.” Joel cleaned of the knife and handed it to a nervous Tommy. “For her.”
Tommy glared at the gift. “You want me to give her the knife you killed her mother with?”
“She killed the infected with it, and that’s what I killed Nick with… I used it to ortect her, and she used to to protect… Ellie.” Joel said her name outloud now. “You don’t have to tell her about me just… I want her to have something, please?”
Tommy stared at Joel for several moments. He hated Joel… but he’d always live him. Joel raised him most of his life, and they raised Sarah together. Joel was his brother, always, and the reason his now-daughter existed. “I’ll tell her about Sarah. I’ll… She’ll know she has a sister.” A fresh tear escaped, Tommy wiped it with the sleeve of the arm holding the knife as he sniffled at the mention of his precious niece he loved so much. “I dunno how I’m gonna explain the rest, but she’ll know she had a sister.” A deep breath. “And she’ll have her knife, so no matter what… you both with be protecting her, okay?”
Joel nodded.
“But you can’t go after the others. Zach, Lorenzo, Jack, Maura, got it? They are gonna suffer enough. With this news, just… leave them be.”
Joel agreed, then explained his horse is out front, a quick ride back to Jackson. Joel would walk back on his wounded leg. “Thank you, Tommy. I love you. I’m always gonna love you, even if you hate me.”
Turning on a heel, Tommy walked away, carrying little Ellie, taking off his scarf to wrap around her in the cool weather. It wasn’t anything too cold, the sun was out and shining at least, and no wind. Tommy was dead set and determined to walk away, to never speak to his brother again… but he stopped. He didn’t look back, but he spoke, quiet but just loud enough for Joel to hear. “I love you too, hermano.”
With that, Joel watched the only two things left in this life that he loved, walk away.
***********
Joel at the end, what Tommy see’s as Joel exits the room after murdering little one
Art my @melodymakesart
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Continue the story 16 years latter with Ghost of You, Ellie’s journey in finding out the truth
Wow. WOW. I cannot thank you guys all enough for how much support i've gotten on this series. Biggest thank you's to the-fox-den, dinsbaby, foggymoonbanana, primos world, Fen, my dear maura, miraclesabound, not a unique snowflake blog and koshkaj for always leaving such nice comments! (everyones comments are appriacted and loved i just see these guys do it every single chapter without fail.)
also thanks to everyone who reached out about the bomb threat. we are all doing much better now.
I love you al so much and cannot ever express how much the reaction to this series has touched me.
That's right, the baby is Ellie.
I do want to say, that in this series, since reader isn't Anna, this means Ellie can look like anything, no matter the race. It just matters she's ellie and she's immune. Little one isn't a great reader, she's largely oc but i wanted to keep things as inclusive as i could instead of an OC
and i did say major character death ;-; good bye little one. You deserved better.
THOUGHTS?!?!?! shout out to spadesjade on ao3 who correctly guess that little one dies and tommy and maria raise the baby!
Remember, there's still the alt ending! This one will be a bittersweet, happier ish ending.
As always, if you hate both endings, my fics are open for you to write your own version of the end or use this universe in anyway. And if you'd like, i'll add it to the masterlist for additional reading!!!
In the mean time, come read Dirty Little Secret, my dark!joel one shot
LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!
Remember, reblogs spread the work, comments motivate!!!!
@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @howaboutcastiel @tidlewav3 @bunnnyy-dummy @slutfortimotheechalamet @foggymoonbanana@dinsbaby @miraclesabound @jenna-ortega @primosworld@marclovers @threeheadedlamb @secretwriterpp @the-fox-den
@bitchyglitterfox @0bsessedwithfictionalcharacters @alloftheboysivelovedbefore @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @lunar-ghoulie @pedritosdarling @dreamonseems @alwaysdjarin @amoramorquetepintas @milla-frenchy
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oddballwriter · 9 months
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Hiii! Me and my friends just got sucked into the hyperfixation that is moon knight and it’s lovely boys. I was hoping you could write some head canons for an anxious reader X all of them or an autistic reader and all of them. I would really appreciate it! Ngl i need Steven to comfort me when I’m overwhelmed in a crowd bc of my autism. Thank you in advance! ❤️
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Warnings: talks of reader being overstimulated and overwhelmed due to a situation. References to Marc's past. 
Author’s Snip: I sort of mixed both together. I don't know if this is good. I hope it is. I just felt like it would be nice to write about them helping reader through being overstimulated since I'm also autistic and have issues with getting overwhelmed in certain scenarios and situations.
Notes: To me, in my brain, I headcanon the boys are also autistic and are just the different archetypes and personalities amongst the community. No one come for me though, I just see a lot of myself in the boys individually as an autistic person. 
I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.
꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦
Steven Grant
He perfectly understands, he has issues with larger crowds too if he's not ready to be thrown in that type of environment
Steven sometimes takes a moment to recognize signs that you're overstimulated by a situation or overwhelmed, but he doesn't take that long
He'll notice that something is up pretty quickly and ask "What's the matter?" to which it hits him the moment he's finished his sentence and says a little "Oh." and gets straight to calming you down or leading you away from where you are
I also have autism and when I experience anxiousness and overstimulation or overwhelmed I go nonverbal or have an issue speaking
If that happens with you Steven also understands and just gently moves you around to see which places get rid of what's causing you trouble
He'd never get annoyed by you for being either of those three things. He knows that being upset with you won't help you calm down at all. If anything it's just going to do the opposite
"Take as long as you need, love"
Steven's had his fair share of panic attacks and situations that rattled him, so he guides you through controlled breathing and rubbing your back if you're okay with being touched at that moment
Marc Spector
Marc isn't the best at handling or calming down an anxious or upset person
He's never been properly comforted before whenever he was upset the most he does is just drop whatever is happening and just ignoring it/sitting it out but not fully trying to relax, or he was upset so much that it made Steven or Jake front
Marc does do his best though
He knows what commonly helps but he's never actually had to stop and think of a way to stop it in greater detail
Marc understands that one thing that you should never do is get angry or annoyed with a person who's overwhelmed and upset because he knows what that's like and doesn't want to inflict that onto you
He finds a silent corner or space to sit at
"Let's just stay here for a minute or two. However, long you need."
Marc has you look at him and assures you "You're okay. You're fine. Just keep your eyes on me and breath."
Once you've calmed down he asks if you want to continue with what you were previously doing or head off and do something else
Jake Lockley
Jake can sense the slightest micro expression
So he knows right off the bat that a situation is making you overwhelmed or stressing you out
Which is great, but Jake is used to handling things with his fists or a weapon. So needless to say he needs to shift gears and get out of that instinct and bring you back down
I'm not saying he can't do that, I'm just saying that he needs to actually think for a moment
Similar to Steven, he leads you around to hopefully find a space that removes what's bothering you
He guides you through controlling your breathing and having you focus on something else
To which he watches you carefully till you've returned back to being calm and regulated
If you want, or need, to go back into that situation, and he's able to, Jake will hold your hand or have his hand somewhere on you to keep you grounded
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minniiaa · 25 days
Note
diff anon but in regards to why law would suddenly become more affectionate towards luffy (ur last ask):
i like the idea that law simply realizes over time (or maybe his friends point it out to him) that luffy gives him so so much and law lowkey makes luffy ask for the smallest things (in terms of affection and intimacy). after law has the revelation that "he basically only ever takes and takes and takes and barely gives anything in return, which is kinda unfair to luffy", he feels bad and decides he'll try to be more open/affectionate/honest, and finds he actually really enjoys loosening up like that and just letting go. especially when luffy's reactions look like that...
law's never been that relaxed and content in his life so he'll stick to it since luffy doesn't seem to mind at all (on the contrary, he really enjoys it) seeing how he'll give law anything he asks for without hesitation.
in summary, the change happens bc law wants their relationship to be a fair give and take, and continues bc he likes it (life is much nicer and easier when you let yourself be coddled from time to time, hmm, law?)
-🥜
OMG YES ANON! That's perfect. I appreciate you sm, you solved my dilemma!
I feel like Law has this view of himself that he is an extremely selfish person (even though he's not, he's just bad at accepting love and giving it in return). I love that in his attempt to give Luffy more, he ends up receiving (and taking I suppose) even more than before.
Law realizes that giving up control by offering more to Luffy makes him happy just as much as it makes Luffy happy. Luffy's nearly jumping out of his seat every time Law so much as looks at him with bedroom eyes and when they're intimate (which is happening wayyy more now that Law's initiating it too), he's showering him with praise over how amazing and hot he is. Luffy loves it when Law tells him exactly what he wants, he's been asking him to do that since they got together so he can make him feel as good as possible.
When Law asks for something, Luffy gives him everything and then some, and he loves every second of it. Suddenly Law's decision to give Luffy more and take less turns into them both being greedier (and more satisfied) than ever. Law doesn't think he can go back to his old emotionally unavailable and almost cold ways and he doesn't know why the hell he didn't do this months ago.
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sadie-bug345 · 20 days
Note
I love your writing (: do you think maybe you could do something like hcs of the gang supporting you at like your track meet or something?? Thank you!!
YESS i gotchu 💞🫶🏃‍♀️💨
ponyboy:
my guy is a track star himself so when he’s not currently running he’ll stop and watch you
not crazy loud when it comes to cheering
cause whenever people cheer really loud when he’s running it distracts him
but he’ll compliment you like crazy afterwards which i think is very nice🫶
sodapop:
prob one of the loudest NGL
since he’s so popular he’s got a good amount of friends to come cheer you on
even people you don’t know he still got them to scream your name
so when you’re done you’re walking back towards the bleachers like
”uh who even are these people🧐🤷‍♂️🤨”
LMAOO it’s really sweet and even if you do bad soda will still find some way to cheer you up
johnny:
he seems like a sign maker
bc pictures are worth a thousand words🧐🙏
LMAO
no but he’d probably be pretty quiet but hold up the sign that he and pony made LOUD AND PROUD
when the gang hears that he’s showing up, suddenly everyone wants to go with him and cheer you on🫶
darry:
IK HE AINT A BOOMER
but as a teen athlete himself he enjoys when people pull thru and yell kinda a lot at games
and his voice carries so like you’ll be all the way around the track from him and you’ll still hear him like
”KEEP GOING‼️ONE MORE LAP😃👍”
kinda gives dad vibes but ITS OK cause he acknowledges it and accepts it🙏
dally:
probably just hangs around the fence that separates the field from the bleachers
pretty quiet cause you cannot tell me dally doesn’t get embarrassed by that stuff easily
like even in the movie when cherry rejects him CAUSE HE WAS BEINF A JERK
he was so butthurt abt it and just getting SO defensive like “fine. 🙄 ik when i’m not wanted🫵😧💀”
anyways he’s just kinda hanging out there for the most part pretty quiet
but after the meet he’ll come over and give you an awkward side hug cause you’re all sweaty and he’s super bad at those things
but he means well
AND he takes you out for ice cream later so🤩
two-bit:
LOUD AND PROUD
probably brings cowbells or smth
airhorns
the whole deal
hes honestly rlly fun to hang around though
and he’ll always pull thru and show up
even if it’s at a totally different high school he’ll just spawn in and you’ll hear him while you’re warming up like 😧
i mean he was willing to drive to texas to find pony and johnny sooo he’s willing to go a little outta down to show support 🫶🙏👍
steve:
brings soda to tagalong w him
PUMPED UP
just the most hyped
his voice will carry even farther than darrys
just cause he loud asf😭
BUT you really appreciate it cause everyone’s cheering the most for you like you’re some movie star LMAO🫶
TYSM FOR THE REQUESTTT ILYSM💞🥰
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girlfromthecrypt · 24 days
Note
I finally got to read the update!! Don't mind me rambling a bit about everything I loved about it...
I really enjoyed the beginning of this chapter.  Being playful with Basil in the van is super cute. It was interesting to see Reem and Basil not getting along a little bit, it makes me intrigued about if there will be any cracks in our little friend group's foundation that might start to show. And if so what that might mean when things start going bad.
Also, Anita is adorable!! It had me giggling when she called everyone attractive--I loved getting to tease her about it afterwards. I chose to room with her and the siblings--though the thought of Basil sleeping alone makes me nervous for the future...
Definitely Looking at Anita's comment about how your sanity starts slipping when you go without sleep. I'm SO eager to reach the horror. Though the slightly slower, cheerful beginning is so great. I love getting to know everyone and seeing them happy and bonding, knowing that there's horror on the horizon...
Javier talking about his mom marrying his dad straight up made me snort laugh. I work with kids and they truly do say the most out of pocket things. It's very true to life. And ooooh, Basil and Gabriel just...staring at the woods got me so hyped. Reading that scene gave me a proper thrill, that little 'heart-pounding-faster' feeling that makes me love horror so so much.
Hell yes at getting to tell the kids a scary story!! I remember being a kid and hearing classics like Don't Turn on the Light and being scared out of my socks. It's sooo fun to be able to play at passing that on to a whole new generation!! I'm 100% in to romance Basil, but this update makes me want to do a run where I romance Anita. She's so so cute. And the siblings both are great in their own ways... I'm sensing that I'll end up doing runs for each of the ROs, you've made such fun and sweet characters!
Aaah that ending!!!! Genuinely terrifying, and made me so anxious about the kids!! I KNOW my MC is going to be hard-pressed to keep them all safe. I can't wait to see what comes next!! I love how you write characters, they're all so likable and distinct!! This was such a good update, it makes me really eager for more.
HI (omg it's that cool person) HIIII <3
Thank you so much for this. I'll have you know I reread this ask like three times and I'm probably gonna read it all over again tomorrow bc it gives me life. I can't express how happy I am that you cared to write such a long ask bc of my IF if all things. Thank you, it made my day.
Basil and Anita's on-the-road scenes in the van were my favorite to write!! And yes, there's certainly a bit of tension in the group. MCs with high sociability or perception will be able to pick up on this, also on George's fondness for a certain colleague--- but don't worry, no one's at each other's throats. Yet.
And yay, some Anita appreciation!! Cut her some slack, she's not used to being around hot people and between a possibly cute MC and the FUCKING MALAKS of all people... yeah. It's not easy for her.
Ok so you know that you can also sleep in the van with Basil if your relationship stat/his approval of you is strong enough? I hope that was clear from the dialogue options and you just chose the cabin despite of it, bc if not, I might have to rewrite the choice. Furthermore, while I can see why you'd be worried for him, I'd be more concerned for an MC who chooses to sleep alone ;) [yes, this is me hinting at a future horror scenario possibly unique to that route].
Ah yes, Javier, my son <3 lol. Nahhh I don't favor any of the campers. Though, if I had to pick which one I liked to write the most, it'd probably be him.
Now I feel bad haha. Ok but srsly, kids can be VERY outspoken, and Javier especially has noooo social filter. You might notice that some of the campers' traits specifically correspond to some of the ROs' characteristics... Looking at Gabriel and Basil here.
Both campfire stories are also really close to my own heart, so I jumped at the chance to include them. As for the ROs, I do hope you'll do a run for each of them! I'm trying quite hard to make it difficult to choose between them ;)
I love that the ending hit the way it was supposed to. If you want to know what's up next, I have one word for you: confusion. Lots of confusion.
See, I need to give this story a slow, slice-of-life start, bc purely from a narrative standpoint, it wouldn't make sense for the horror to come out guns blazing. That's why the MC will at first be the only one to experience the horrors and for the horrors to (seemingly) originate from one of the kids, bc if it was more dramatic and the threat was to come from an exterior source, everyone would just pack up and flee and then the story would be over. That's what I figure.
Anyhow, I'm so glad I still got you hooked with this project. Thanks so much for this super long message.
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borderlinebox · 1 year
Note
Sup! hope you’re having a great day 😮💗 having childhood best friend brainrot- “you have my back right?” x “lmao probably” cheesy but I eat that shit up every time
could you write a oneshot or headcannon
for chishiya? He’s gotten/done something that’s worth celebrating (maybe it’s his birthday, got first place or a hundred on his test, got into the college that he applied to) he’s never been told by someone that they’re proud of him not even from his old man so he went on with his day expecting nothing special
But but BUT chishiya hears the familiar patterned knocks on his window, how they managed to get up there without his father knowing is beyond him but he’s relieved considering his old man isn’t all that fond with them (In this scenario id imagine that chishiya’s father wouldn’t really like us bc of our shortcomings? something like that...and if he isn’t friends with our parents)
they sneak (more like drag) him out with a lot of convincing and celebrate by going into places he would tolerate or enjoy,,rip his friend’s allowance 💸 At the end of the night they both end up on a park bench with store bought cake with messy written icing “I’m so pr he I did it bitch!!” done by yours truly. they do say it to him and give him a short side hug before he gets back home tho
Feel free to decline this! take care ⭐️
Celebrate With Me!
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Summary: Reader acknowledges Chishiya's accomplishments.
Pairing: Chishiya x Reader
Warning: That good cliche shit, FLUFF, cuteness overload, not proofread!!!, changed a few things up!
A/N: ISTG I'm boutta make a Chishiya X Bestfriend! Reader bundle because these requests are too cute!! Hope you have a great day as well and take care too ^^ <3 I am incredibly happy and proud on how this turned out!!! Spent a literal 2 hours straight on it because I lost some progress and I'm gonna have my ass whooped later but this should cover the blow LOVE YALL AND THIS REQQQ ♥
Feedback is highly appreciated!!!
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Chishiya sat upon his desk chair, currently finishing up some notes. Just things he's learnt or felt like he found interesting. He could use it in the future. Distant music playing from his favorite band echoed softly in his room.
There wasn't much to do. He'd recently gotten a letter from a university he had applied to - which he was successfully accepted in. He could say he was happy for himself but it just wasn't that exciting or celebration-worthy to him.
He continuously tapped the tip of the pen against the table in a rhythm, re-reading the paragraphs of various words.
SMACK
The sudden noise caught Chishiya's attention as he quickly twisted his head towards the loud noise. There, on his window, a handprint was seen as it was slowly sliding down the window, failing to stick.
Its fingers soon danced on the window, creating multiple and small taps across the glass pane without a proper flow of beat.
Chishiya sighed and stood up and opened the window to reveal his friend struggling to hold onto his window's support,
"Y/N, What are you doing here?" He wasn't at all surprised. He was just more so concerned why you were currently hanging by a thread on his window.
"I'll tell you when I get inside. Right now let's focus on the part where you shoULD BRING ME INSIDE." You flailed your legs around as you struggled to even breathe properly.
He hissed at you to stay quiet and helped you up to sneak inside.
There was a voice, somewhere in his mind where he actually wanted to leave you hanging for a while to amuse himself but that would have been a bad idea.
Once you had both your feet on the floor of his bedroom, you dusted yourself off and took a much needed breather. You had been running to his house since 45 minutes ago. It was hard with the troublesome traffic and people yelling at you as you swerved your way through them, you're just glad you've finally reached his humble abode.
"Right, Explain." He said bluntly, doing his signature move; placing his hands into his pockets. "How did you even get up here?"
You shaked your hand profusely, deflecting the topic. "Never mind that-, guess who found out when your birthday iiiisss?" You looked up at him with a tired yet mischievous grin.
"I'm guessing you."
"Me," You announced proudly while facing your thumb towards yourself, chest up in victory. "And you wanna know what I'm gonna do about it?"
"Please don't." Chishiya sighed, point-blankly. Unfortunately, there was no hope of changing the situation's circumstances because he knew when you were hooked on something, it's sure that you'll be hell-bent on getting it, no matter how stupidly dangerous or ridiculous it may seem.
You laughed before dropping down to the carpeted floor of his room and picking up your sling bag. "Now, as I was saying," Your finger dramatically pointed towards the bag. "We gotta celebrate! So we're going out and hang!"
"I really rather not." He stood his ground, stubbornly declining your offer.
"Come on, you're gonna celebrate your birthday with me!" You teased with the same playful grin you gave him. He was always so stubborn when it came to things he accomplished or failed - whether you wanna celebrate it or cheer him up. Either way, you were going to be even more stubborn than him this time.
"No." He muttered out sternly.
"Yes," You pushed with determination. "We are."
"No."
"Yes."
"No"
"Yes"
"No-"
"Why not??" You broke the repetitive, single-worded debate and gave him a sad look. "You never celebrate anything. Don't you want me to show you how happy and proud I am for you, Chishiya?"
Chishiya seemed to be broken from his train of thought at his words. He was silent, but you could tell that he was processing your words and calculating a response as if he was some kind of robot. You'd have to be honest, he kind of is one sometimes-
"Fine, I'll go and celebrate my birthday." Was all he said, his condescending look seeming to have disappeared - replaced with an unreadable expression.
It didn't feel like an answer at all - you felt disappointed. But you decided to push away those feelings for later because you were still ecstatic about your achievement and that's what mattered.
"W-Wonderful! You go get prepared or something!" You told him in a panic frenzy and opened the window from where you cam from. "I'll wait for you to climb out the window!"
And before waiting for his response, the last thing Chishiya saw of you was you already dipping out of the window and landed on the lush grass, in pain - as he presumed. He quickly changed and made his way down the stairs, being granted the permission to leave.
Chishiya would probably be lying if he said he wasn't at least a little bit concerned for your well being when you jumped out of that window.
To his surprise, when he went outside, he saw you standing proudly with a little dirt in your hair and face.
"You goof??" He asked, eyeing you up and down.
"Perfect, Great! I didn't get hurt, totally didn't - I think I sprained my wrist but that's totally fixed now." You spoke quickly, not even giving him a chance to say another word since you had grabbed him by his wrist. "Now come on! We don't have all day."
-
"Was this necessary?" Chishiya mutters blankly as he takes in the view of the park. It was a rather quiet, and less populated park wherever you and Chishiya both lived. Not many people visited everyday but there were still some who came often. Parks that were more widely known had a bigger crowd and you know Chishiya enough to know that he doesn't like big crowds. Especially the noise that comes with it.
"It was either this or the carnival next place." You turned to him and raised your brow.
"I think I prefer the park." He shrugged. It wasn't a bad place at all - Fairly clean and a decent view. You would sometimes come here alone and think, maybe even attempt to bring Chishiya over. But he was either busy or too stubborn to go. Thankfully, you managed to corner him.
Even though Chishiya let you take him here this time.
Both of you took your time there, having deep talks which mostly started off with why he hadn't really celebrated many past birthdays, which made you frown a lot. Chishiya thought it was half a mistake to give you that information after you had told him that you were gonna celebrate his birthday for him every year instead.
He may be lying if he didn't appreciate it.
The rest of the time, both of you walked and talked on the more philosophical topics. Just the precious quality time between two great lov friends, walking underneath the cloudy weather with strands of sunlight pushing through and landing on the cobblestone pavements.
It didn't seem much as a birthday celebration to the regular human etiquette but you could care less because both of you were having. swell time. Even if neither of you said it. It was a bonding time that didn't need the use of an explanation and more of a feeling.
Your eye was caught by a flock of ducks roaming around a side of a pond next to a woman selling duck food or pieces of bread. Chishiya must've noticed this since you had fully stopped walking and stood in place, staring at them.
"You wanna feed the ducks?" His voice brought you out of your mini daydream, he had his natural high charm evident in his face and voice.
"I, well, if you want to. It's your birthday, not mine.." You mumbled out, it was a bit low for anyone to actually process your words, seeing that you would be a little upset that you didn't feed those ducks.
"Okay then," He lightly smiles and walks his way past you with a bored yet slightly amused expression. "Let's go feed those ducks."
Like a little kid who had been given permission to sleep over at his friend's house, you giddily smiled and practically swooshed right on past him and over to the woman selling the small bits of food.
You quickly bought two small bags and handed one over to Chishiya. He took the bag filled with small, multiple pieces of duckfeed into his hands and looked back up at you. "If I'm gonna feed the ducks, you've gotta feed them too." You told him with a bright smile before kneeling down to the ducks.
Chishiya opened the bag and shook around its contents before taking out a handful and throwing it onto the ground the ducks stood upon with a blank face.
However, you had a cute and dorky smile on your face while you handfed them all equally. Some of them bit you by accident but it was no more painful than a light pinch. Your smile was bright enough to light up a whole room, Chishiya thought as he held back the urge to smile at your antics.
A chuckle from the old vendor caught both of your attention. When she noticed she sighed softly, "Sorry,"
You smiled, "No worries! It's absolutely fine! Why were you chuckling anyway?" Hand finding its way to the bag full of duck feed to gather some more and hand over the pieces to the ducks.
She grinned at the both of you. "Both of you are so cute, are you a couple?"
The question caught both of you off guard. You could quite literally feel the tension rise in the atmosphere. You felt your breath hitch and your lungs close as it denied you to breath from the sudden question.
"No! No, heh, we're just friends." You shot up with an awkward smile at the lady who had understood the tension between her and you both. You look back up at Chishiya with a nervous look on your face. "Isn't that right, Chi?"
He appeared to have froze due to your question. Or was he just standing still and silent because he had zoned out? Was he deeply immersed in his thoughts?
"No, we're friends." Chishiya confirmed. You expected that answer but you couldn't help but feel the pang in your heart when he actually said it.
The vendor nodded and apologized once again for asking such a question. She went back to her small stand to mind her own business instead.
Now you and Chishiya kept on feeding the ducks until both your bags were completely empty, all in awkward silence. Not one of you tried to break the ice since it appeared that no one had anything to say after that question.
You turned to thank the lady before leaving with Chishiya without a word.
Upon arriving back at the park's entrance Chishiya decided to finally break the silence. "Well? Where are you dragging me off to next?" He asked, raising a brow at you. You had almost completely forgotten the reason why you had went out in the first place.
"Oh, yeah. I forgot." Slipping your hand into your slingbag, you pulled out a small crumpled paper and unfolded it.Chishiya tried to lean in and read but you pulled the paper closer to you. "Hey! Don't peek on the surprise." You pouted, forgetting all about the question for a moment.
He put his hand up defensively but it was no more than a sarcastic tease. "No peeking." He repeats before shoving his hands into his pockets once again. Chishiya was almost never seen with his hands outside his pockets outside of his home. It was almoat natural and expected.
Once you were sure he wouldn't peek again, you opened up the piece of paper before folding it once more.
"I got an idea."
"You looked at the paper which most likely had the idea.
"I have an idea." You repeated, dismissing his smart assness. "Follow me!" And once again, you boldly took a hold of his wrist and started to dash to whatever place you were dragging him to next.
-
The warm light of the welcome sign greeted the both of you as you stood outside a relatively new, and decently small café. And sketchy enough, the stores it was between in was a shady dentist's office and a run-down, forever closed drug store.
"This is the new coffee shop that opened last week." Chishiya noticed, looking up at the hangout's name to remember it. "It certainly has a sketchy location."
"That's cause this was the only place the owner could afford. In fact, they're actually quite creeped out by the stores beside it. I feel bad." You explained briefly, glancing at the side shops. "But that's not what we're here for, dear friend."
You pushed him inside the cafe and it was definitely much better on the inside than the out. It had relatively creamy walls and warm lights. You were surprised that the place wasn't filled with people. Tempting enough to keep this place as a secret, all to yourself.
"Sit the hell down." You brought Chishiya to a corner seat - which is, in a natural rule, one of the best seats a restaurant or any place could ask for - and sitting in front of him.
"It isn't a bad place, I'll give it that." Your bleach haired friend admitted, his eyes still roaming around. "What gave you the idea?"
A giggle escaped your lips, "I wanted to try it out. I actually visited the place a few days ago. It was completely different than now. They changed it a lot." You shrugged, "And I thought of you when I stepped in here. I thought you'd like the place."
Chishiya smiled lightly, which was again; rare. "It's good."
"Better than-"
"I haven't decided yet." He cut you off before you could finish which resulted in you giving him a cheeky smirk.
He couldn't help but feel good about himself when you admitted that you thought of him when you found this place. It felt truly honorable than his straight A's and cards with that big ol' red 'Accepted' on it. It was something near to a foreign feeling.
"About what that vendor said-" You were immediately cut off by a waiter coming up, asking for your orders. You coughed into your arm at the sudden surprise and ordered your preferred drink.
Chishiya glanced at you and the waiter, what was with the question? He quickly ordered his own drink as you thanked the waiter before they left.
Another set of an awkward silence filled between the both of you. He was curious about your earlier question but didn't want to push you, you looked embarassed enough after choking on your own spit.
"Don't think about it. She just made a mistake, it's fine." Chishiya wanted to say something else but decided to take matters into his own hands instead. "It's not that uncommon. Sometimes expected."
You nodded at his words. "Right.. I forgot, they have board games here! You wanna play?" You beamed up, changing the subject. He glanced his eyes to the side, finding the board games that you were talking about.
All of them were stacked on a small bookshelf that had a good amount of books on it as well.
"Sure, we'll play." He shrugged without a care. "Why don't you choose the game, Y/N?"
You hummed out a yes and took your time; reading all the board game labels. There were many of them but you wanted to try out something bold, something Chishiya would actuallu want to play with you. "Ah! Chess."
Why Chess? You finally processed your declaration.
"Oh, Chess?" Chishiya looked back at you. What a bold declaration of war. "Sure, why not."
You felt yourself gulp and begin to pray for your mistakes and for your well being, choosing a game like this against a guy like Chishiya. You've already made a decision and stood up and made your walk of shame towards the small chess board.
Bringing the board to your table, you gathered yourself the confidence and smacked the board down.
"Bring it on, Shuntaro." A smirk appeared on your face, a bold glimmer in your eyes.
-
"I think I'm gonna be sick." You burp out, watching your side of the chess board with bored and tired eyes. You've already accepted your death wish an hour ago.
Now you were here with two empty cups, 3 hours that passed by and found yourself with only a King and a Pawn against Chishiya's fucking army. You've paid for your drinks an hour ago and you were still here, suffering.
"You chose the game." He defended. He looked unchanged - just the same guy three hours ago. Meanwhile you sat in front of him, a hand in your hair and tired eyes.
You weren't sleepy, you were just tired of watching your entire empire fall.
"You're enjoying this, I know it. Behind those blank eyes of yours? You're enjoying this." An almost pathetically dramatic voice of sulking came from you as you connected your forehead onto the table.
You could feel him shrug in front of you.
"But alas!" You rose dramatically, "That was my plan all along!" You moved your king to the line of sight of his queen, making yourself lose. "I forfeit. Besides, we're gonna miss the best part of today!"
Chishiya watched as you obliterated yourself and throwing the chess pieces off the board and clean up. "Fun game." He responded to your actions.
"It was not at all fair." You pushed and closed the board up when you finished counting off the chess pieces and went off to put it back in respect. "You're far smarter than me and you know it."
"You chose th-"
"Yeah, Yeah. 'I chose the game' and whatnot, I get it." You echoed him in an immature tone of voice, but you'd never deny his intelligence. He technically carried you through physics and math.
He stood up and walked out beside you, hearing the same waiter who served you both give their thanks.
"The last stop shouldn't be too far from here." You were looking at that old crumpled piece of paper you had a while ago.
After just a few minutes, maybe 10, of walking, you found both yourselves in front of a popular convenience store joint that you and Chishiya always went to for a quick lunch or snack break when you were both in highschool.
You lead him to a black bench right across the small store and placed your things down, taking your wallet out your bag.
"Stay here." You smiled before running into the building.
Chishiya stared at the all too familiar black bench. No, he didn't sit, the black bench gave him an overflow of memories when you both hung out here. You and Chishiya would buy anything you both wanted and were able to buy from the store and sit out here, exchanging notes and occasionally jokes. He smiled at the thought.
"I told you to sit!" You pointed at him accusingly as you held a brown paper bag in your other arm. The sounds of the bells on the doors clinged together when you exited the building.
"I was." Chishiya turned his way to you.
"After almost 10 minutes of me being in there? Come on." You chuckled and decided to sit down on the black bench yourself. He followed right after you. "Check out what I got!"
You ruffled your hand into the paper bag with joy, tongue sticking out and biting softly on the muscle. "Boom!" You cheered when you took it out.
It was a small almost medium, cute pink cake - which was his favorite whipped strawberry flavor - with Chishiya's favorite cookies decorated on the outer curve.
You handed it to chishiya with the same dorky smile you had when you were feeding the ducks at the park. He observed the writing on the cake with narrow eyes.
'Hapi'
'You de'
'Congratatulations!!!'
Despite the spelling error, and the very messy writing, you still smiled like an idiot and Chishiya couldn't help but appreciate the fucked up cake. He actually showed you his smile that time.
Can you believe it? Making Chishiya smile 3 maybe even 4 times today?
It made yourself smile even wider that you had to put your chin on your hands.
"You spelled 'Congra-"
"I'm aware of my mistake Chishiya but there's clearly no more room for anymore mistakes on that cake." You pointed at the cake which really did have no more room for anymore icing.
He exhaled with a smile, his way of laughing or chuckling at you genuinely at best, before opening the plastic lid.
"Oh and, if you want anymore of your bland ass cookies, there's more in the bag. Can't understand why you like that crap." You jokingly gave him a cringed look and stuck your tongue out in disgusted exaggeration. But, you got it for him.
"Fork?" Chishiya asked, looking back up at you.
"Oh shit, yeah I forgot." You opened up your sling and pulled out two plastic forks. "I figured that there wasn't going to be any free forks in the store so I decided to bring some."
Handing him one, you were more than ready to eat the cake with him.
As both of you dipped in for the first bite, you both heard the sounds of popping in the sky which caught Chishiya off his guard.
Fireworks were in the sky. All different colors, blending in so well in the night sky.
"Would you look at that." You said in awe through the cake in your mouth. "I wonder who put that there."
"You did something, didn't you?" Chishiya looked at you, unamused but still appreciative. You could tell it through the way how soft his eyes looked. It was much softer and quite happier than usual, and you were proud.
"I may have asked some friends." You shrugged, meeting his gaze.
Both of you had not only the warm light emitting from the convenience store, but the different colors of the fireworks that temporarily glowed on both of your faces.
You thought he looked so pretty in all of the colored sparks of light. You could get used to his eyes if it were like this.
"I'm really happy and proud of you, Chish." You said all full of truth, hitting his shoulder playfully. "You need to hear it sometimes, no?"
"I guess." Chishiya answered with a shrug again, lifting another fork full of cake near his mouth. "Thanks, I think."
You chuckled, finally hearing those words come out of his mouth felt so satisfying to you. You were even sure he never really said it all to anyone. The sparks in the sky continued to flash in the sky all so beautifully. "Don't mention it."
Maybe he could get used to this, having someone like you. It made him feel all warm and proud for once.
275 notes · View notes
seawitchkaraoke · 1 year
Text
The Cleo - Scar collaboration is just so so so good, because they're both such amazing artists and while they use somewhat different mediums (primarily building vs primarily armourstands) they still have a similar style in what they focus on which is storytelling. Scar will go on and on in his videos about the story in his builds and Cleo gives every armourstand scene a story and a life and a logic behind it. Nothings there just to look pretty, it all serves a purpose in the story being told, they're both very detail oriented too!
And they both absolutely recognise this in each other as well, which means they truly understand and appreciate each other's art - I remember that lifestream a while ago where Cleo asked Scar's advice on landscaping (don't put the rock on the land, embed it in it) and I got that vibe then and I get it even more now
That's why Cleo's armourstands in Scarland are just so amazing. Scar's builds on their own are already always full of life and full of story, he's already thought about where ppl would be and what they would do, here's a cart, there's a popcorn stall, here's benches, this is main street where ppl are strolling up and down. And then Cleo comes in, who's capable of telling amazing stories with their armourstands on their own already and they pick up exactly all the little things Scar's builds are putting down, filling in the blanks and enhancing the stories and like... putting all the details in.
It's like Scar says ''this is main street, ppl are strolling down it'' and Cleo says ''yes there's thiis group of friends, one of whom is very excitedly telling the others probably some fun facts about this theme park and here's a family with a very excited kid but the parents also have merch so clearly they love this too''. Scar says ''here's some benches for ppl to rest and enjoy the view'' and Cleo says ''yes, this parent is very exhausted and has taken their shoes off while the kids play, also I saw what you did with the popcorn on the ground, so I put gum under the bench''
Yes of course bonus points for Cleo including the cane and the wheelchair users, but like.... they're not just amazing bc they thought to do that, they're amazing bc they see eactly the story Scar is telling and add to it seamlessly
And just. The appreciation they have for each other, the way they tallk about each other's art, you can tell they really understand it even if it's not their primary medium, like they can't just tell the other is amazing at armourstands/building but they notice Why they are, theyy notice what details the other include in their works, like they really Get It y'know?
Also Cleo clearly gets not just Scar's art but also knows him very well, she made him tear up with her armourstands that's an achievement, Cleo you are so so so good
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Text
What the Poets are like in my DR!
this is a response to this ask! hope you enjoy!! posting it a bit earlier than originally intended bc i couldn't take the anticipation anymore :)
Neil Perry
my found family brother!!
always looking out for me
he was the first person i met when i started at Welton
we do bicker like siblings but it's okay
i love going to his plays, watching him perform is so much fun and he is so happy
seeing him like that is enough to heal the soul
we share books a lot
i do his stage makeup!
he makes the strangest little sounds sometimes
it will be dead silent and he'll make a silly little squeaky sound
always joins me and my dad (mr keating) for family time
Todd Anderson
he's so sweet and caring
he can be very sarcastic though
insert the "the one with the buck teeth?" situation 😭
he's super funny without trying to
we're both super anxious and it's nice to have someone around who understands that
amazing hugs!! not often, but they are healing
that time i was having a really stressful day and he hugged me and i immediately cried
he can be insecure about his relationships with people because he thinks people don't wanna be around him and just hang out with him out of pity
he needs reassurance but refuses to act for it
really good at painting! i got him watercolors for his birthday <3
he deserves everything. if i could give you the moon i would todd bb
Charlie Dalton
outrageous drama queen
he loves dancing
never said he was good at it though!
it's mostly just twirling
flirts with you to antagonize you but only if you tell him it's okay, he would never wanna make someone uncomfortable <3
my number 1 supporter since forever
superrrr competitive
can and will turn anything into a competition
massive cheesy nerd but denies it adamantly
he cares about his friends more than anything
very very affectionate
wants to be touching someone at all times
his love language is 1000% touch
very talented at music, he can play guitar, sax and a little bit of drums
doesn't sing often but definitely can
hates studying, not because he doesn't care about his education, but because it's not stimulating enough for his brain and he gets distracted really easily
i've said it once and i'll say it again, he is EVERYONES BIGGEST CHEERLEADER!!!
we're polar opposites but will match energy when needed
knows when to be hyperactive and when to be chill and quiet
sarcastic, always being a little shit
"hey charlie, will you pass me that?" "um, no" as he's passing it to you type of thing
gets me out of my shell, which i appreciate so much <3
i really benefit from the confidence he gives me and he likes being around someone who doesn't expect him to be going at a million miles an hour all the time
Knox Overstreet
my gossip buddy!
when we're bored we sit and people watch and make up life stories for the people we see
he has the silliest, most giggle
can and will lift you up
on his shoulders, picking you up and spinning you around, no matter what, it will happen
i watched him pick Charlie up and shake him and nearly peed myself laughing
very platonically affectionate, like little cheek kisses and stuff
it's his way of showing gratitude
hes also pretty sensitive and emotional
he read pride and prejudice and cried his eyes out
type of guy to kick his feet and giggle while twirling his hair
Gerard Pitts
hits his head off things at least once a day
so long and gangly and strange
like those things at car dealerships (affectionate)
he's so sarcastic and goofy
we always gang up on Charlie when he does/says something stupid
he takes his grades very seriously
but he isn't a stick in the mud about it
loves music so much
its one of the main things i hear him talk about
finds and keeps cool rocks
gives them to people when they're having a rough day
penguin behavior tbh
he is just a silly guy!
Steven Meeks
this is gonna be a long one, buckle up lovelies
we met and instantly clicked
inconsolably sweet, all the time
also kind of a chronic people pleaser but we're working on it okay!
we both have an affinity for latin
we have secret conversations in latin sometimes <3
about a week after we first met he asked Charlie if I was dating anyone but made him promise not to tell me (which didn't last long)
when we met i complimented his glasses and he blushed and went "thank you, i need them to see. i like your freckles."
he did not realize how hilarious of a response that was until later
falling asleep on his shoulder when we're up late studying <3
GETTING PRINCESS CARRIED!!!!!
he always wants to carry me places. who needs legs honestly
flustering him is so easy and i love to do it because it's so funny
trying to teach him how to dance and he trips over his own feet
he has the softest most beautiful curls ever
tiny little ringlets by his ears!! my heart is melting!!!!
and his eyes.... cut the cameras
hes so pretty
him laying in my lap while i read to him
leaving lipstick all over his face and him not realizing.... the literal cutest
he is always the first one I run to when I get off stage after a recital (they all come to my ballet recitals in my dr)
us always getting caught staring at each other <3
writing poetry for each other!!!!
his love language is acts of service and quality time
his glasses are somehow constantly fogging up
he always offers me his sweater/coat/jacket when i'm chilly
my love im kicking my feet and giggling writing about him
he feels like the song 'let the light in' by lana del rey
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