#but i like to think of each character as sort of belonging to a particular decade so Q&E retain punk aspects | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

imtrashraccoon · 5 months

Note

here’s a drabble idea!

Nightmare sans x dog monster! reader

so the premise is that the dear reader is a dog like doggo, greater dog, lesser dog, etc

and if we want to get REAL specific the dog breed reader is a konoki dog!

Hi! Thank you for submitting this idea!

I was shocked how quickly I managed to think of something for this prompt. I hope you don't mind that I made it a fantasy and soulmate au. I actually haven't written this sort of thing before and I am still buzzing with ideas.

I never heard of a Konoki dog before this and they look super cute! I haven't written this type of character before so I hope you like them. I certainly have fallen in love with them! (I affectionately call them Koko in my notes!)

By the way, I renamed Nightmare (and a few others!) for this to make him a more unique character. There's a note at the bottom for the meanings of their names too.

The Dark Fortress

Nightmare x Kokoni!Dog Monster Reader

Fantasy & Soulmate AU

Word Count: 6, 219

You woke up to the sound of rain softly pattering on your tent. The light was rather dim so you estimated the sun wasn't up just yet. Still, it couldn't hurt to get up and do some quick exercises before your day properly started.

The rain made the air smell good - slightly earthy with a hint of the harsher scent of ozone. The only bad thing was that you didn't like having wet fur, especially when on a mission, since it stuck to your armour and meant your weapon was harder to hang onto.

The scent in the air reminded you of a reoccurring dream that you'd been having your whole life. While the circumstances were different each time, there was always a distinctive smell present. It was earthy and sweet with aromatic undertones similar to liquorice or fennel. It was also slightly spicy or maybe salty was a better description? This smell seemed to belong to someone but you'd never been able to see what they looked like.

Not everyone believed in the concept of soulmates but you couldn't find any other explanation for why you kept dreaming about this one smell. There were instances where a few dogs had been plagued by a particular smell and then ended up finding their soulmate, but this was always in real life and never only in a dream.

With a sigh, you meticulously fastened the straps and buckles that held your armour together. While many of your fellow soldiers preferred full plate, you liked the mobility that light armour provided. This combined with your smaller size and slight frame made you the perfect scout or assassin for the Royal Guard.

You didn't have time this morning to contemplate the possibility of meeting your soulmate. You had a duty to perform and any distractions could put the lives of both you and your comrades in danger.

Your mission was to investigate the dark fortress that had appeared overnight a few months ago in the neighboring Kingdom of Shiftingtails. The kingdom's forces had apparently been completely overrun and destroyed in a matter of days. Word on the conditions inside the country had been scarce but the handful of refugees that had made it out all told harrowing tales of their escape.

Whatever magic that had created the fortress was dangerous. It corrupted the land, killing both plants and animals alike, so that nothing could survive. It was said that it could kill people as well but no one knew exactly how. There were also accounts of the dark horde and their master but no one could decide on what they looked like.

Some claimed that an army of the dead suddenly came to life and raided their homes. Others claimed there were only three skeletons responsible for the destruction. Yet there were other accounts of a single skeleton covered in the dark fortress' corruption with black tendrils. No one wanted to talk about this one any more than they had to though.

You hadn't known what to make of the accounts at first, but the deeper you and your comrades pressed into enemy territory, the more truth they seemed to hold. Thankfully, the Royal Scientist had found a way to counteract the majority of the corruption's effects, so as long as the protective coating on your armour remained intact, you would be safe.

It didn't ease your anxiety though and you knew that your comrades were also suffering from restlessness. It had been days since you had even been in combat, even longer since killing anything, and you just wanted to get this over with.

You weren't particularly bloodthirsty but even you had to admit that you secretly enjoyed the rush that came whenever a person died by your hand. It wasn't something that you went out of your way to do, even though being a soldier often put you in those situations. Everyone knew that while sometimes unavoidable, gaining EXP and especially LV, was a slippery slope to insanity. And so during basic training, it was stressed that it was preferable to incapacitate your foes and only kill as a last resort.

You emerged from your tent and stretched your limbs. It seemed like a few of your fellow soldiers were already up and about, which meant another day of marching was upon you. At least you were within sight of the dark fortress now. It wouldn't be long before you would be able to hear the satisfying sound of your meteor hammer crushing bones and inhale the scent of fresh blood again.

~ ~ /⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\ ~ ~

Breaching the gate had been difficult but not impossible.

There had been a small horde of tall black skeletons but against the heavily armoured likes of your fellow guardsmen, they were soon cut down. While the skeletons had also been heavily armoured and wielded greataxes, a well placed blow was pretty much all it took to fell them. Even you managed to take one down, although its body didn't turn to dust and simply faded away, and you didn't even get any EXP from it.

That was strange but not unusual if they were merely summons and not actual monsters. Still, whoever summoned them must have an immense mana pool, especially if they were also the one who'd created the dark fortress in the first place.

The moment you and your fellow soldiers entered the courtyard, you were suddenly set upon by three assailants. They were fast, and with how easily they could dodge attacks or appear behind you, must have some form of instant teleportation ability.

You were forced to fight back to back with Sir Draco, which meant your ranged attacks were less effective since you had to be mindful of your meteor hammer's arc. Your own mana was limited so you were forced to fend off blows with your trusty dagger, which you normally only used for finishing off your enemies.

The three skeletons looked similar, like they could be cousins, but at the same time they were quite different from each other. They were on a whole other level from the dark hordes earlier and you were starting to worry that this could soon turn hairy.

Greater and Lesser Dog were currently taking on a giant of skeleton who had half his skull caved in, a blood red eyelight in his left socket, and wielded a massive, wicked-looking greataxe. He wore a suit of mismatched armour of various materials and styles that had been pieced together seemingly at random. It looked to be mostly plate and hide armour though.

Captain Undyne and Sir Bunbun were holding off a wiry skeleton, who had what looked like corruption pouring out of his eye sockets, a crimson glowing target floating above his chest, and wielded nothing but a cruel dagger as well as his own magic against them. He wore a form-fitting suit of black leather armour that was reminiscent of what the former Shiftingtails Kingdom's scouts used to wear.

You and Sir Draco were focusing on a shorter skeleton who was constantly switching between bone attacks and trying to stab both of you with a well-polished shortsword. He had red eyelights but the left one also had a ring of blue and he wore a red cuirass with a hood and dusty chainmail over top.

"Fall back!" You heard Captain Undyne shout. "We can't let them separate us!"

You and your comrades began shifting towards the gate in an attempt to keep them from attacking your flanks. Although, you'd only taken a few steps when your nose caught a particularly familiar scent. It was sharp, earthy and yet sweet at the same time - the exact scent from your dreams. But where was it coming from?

You noticed a flicker of red out of the corner of your eye and just managed to dodge yet another strike from the hooded skeleton. He scowled and you bared your teeth in response before he darted out of your reach again. He smelled like smoke and death so it certainly wasn't him.

"Come on, pup. If we don't move now, they'll cut us off from the others," Sir Draco rumbled as he blocked another volley of bone bullets with his shield.

You sniffed the air intently, barely hearing what he'd said. That scent...they were here somewhere... Your soulmate was here!

Without really thinking, you darted off in the direction that you were certain the scent was coming from, disregarding the fact that you were also running away from your comrades. You just managed to dodge a bone bullet the hooded skeleton summoned, although it did graze your side. You could hear Undyne shouting at you to return but you didn't listen and kept running. It seemed like no one was actually chasing after you but you could still hear the clash of weapons at the gate, so maybe your comrades had kept them occupied?

The scent was coming from further inside the fortress and only grew stronger the further you ventured, until you managed to slip into a dark building and close the door behind you.

Your paws were great at muffling your footsteps and thanks to your nose, you knew that you were close to the source of the scent. You stepped cautiously around furniture and through passageways until you entered the largest library you'd ever seen.

There was light here, from various lanterns and candles peppered throughout the room, which you were grateful for since you couldn't really see in the dark, although you couldn't help but feel uneasy. You slipped between bookshelves and your ears twitched as you strained to hear the slightest sound. Other than the clinking of the length of chain in your paws and that of your own armour, everything seemed quiet.

Too quiet.

The scent was everywhere and you were starting to have a hard time pinpointing which direction to keep moving in. The fur on the back of your neck suddenly stood on end and you quickly turned, only to come face to face with another skeleton.

He was covered in corruption and four tendrils undulated restlessly behind his back. He wore no armour but underneath the black ooze he seemed to be wearing fancy clothing. He had a gold circlet on his skull and a single cyan eyelight in his left eye socket, as his right was covered by the ooze.

You had barely registered his appearance when he lashed out with his tentacles, slamming you against a nearby bookshelf. You let out a yelp from the impact and heard your meteor hammer clatter to the ground as you lost your grip on the chain.

"Who let a mutt into my home?" the skeleton hissed.

You squirmed but your attempts to escape only caused his tendrils to coil tighter around your body, until it was difficult to breathe.

He drew closer until you were only a few inches apart and narrowed his good eye socket at you. "Are you even a soldier?"

Your eyes widened as it occurred to you that the smell that had haunted you for years was from him. He was your soulmate. Him...the one who'd overthrown an entire country singlehandedly was your one and only.

You pawed at the tendrils around your body. "You're... You're the one..." you managed to gasp.

His smile widened and he let out an amused chuckle. "I'm what? I assure you that whatever you're about to say, I've heard it all before." He let out a sigh and loosened the grasp his tentacles had on you ever so slightly. "But I suppose I can humour you a little bit..."

You couldn't help but cough the moment you could breath properly again. After taking in several lungfuls of air, you looked up at him before trying to explain.

"You're the one I've been dreaming about all my life. My soulmate..."

He stared at you for what felt like an eternity but in reality was probably only a minute. He raised his bonebrows slightly but otherwise showed no further reaction to this revelation.

"Well... That's actually a new one." He chuckled and stepped back a bit but noticeably didn't let go of you. "My apologies, it seems I underestimated you slightly. You're amusing at the very least..."

You huffed and crossed your arms. "I'm serious! I've been looking for so long and now I've actually found you."

He rolled his eyelight before giving you an odd look. "I don't believe you. I don't have a soulmate," he muttered.

"Of course you do! I wouldn't have sought you out if we weren't meant to be together!"

"It's not possible, alright?"

"But-"

His tendrils suddenly constricted once more, although your ability to breath wasn't as impeded this time. You couldn't possibly break out of his hold now and you were all but forced to stay still.

"I mean it," he growled. "Now, I'm going to ask you some questions and you're going to tell me the truth, understand?"

"Yeah, okay. Just, not so tight please?"

He pointedly ignored your request as if you hadn't said anything at all. "Why are you actually here?"

"My comrades and I were ordered to investigate this place and if possible, take down the source of the corruption. Although, it seems that's you, isn't it?"

"Yes, I am. My name is Lord Donovan, the new ruler of this land." There was a twinge of pride in his voice and he puffed out his ribcage slightly. "Where are your comrades?"

You didn't like how ominous his tone sounded but there was no reason to lie to him. "They're probably still fighting your men at the gate, at least they were before I caught your scent and sought you out."

He gave you an incredulous look. "You broke rank on the off chance that I was your so called soulmate? What a foolish thing to do, almost as foolish as coming here in the first place."

You wrinkled your nose and let out a frustrated huff. "You are my soulmate!" you growled. "How many times do I have to tell you that before it gets through your thick skull?!"

He abruptly yanked you closer until your foreheads were nearly touching, but so that he was leering down at you. "Listen well, mutt. I am not your soulmate. I am an entity of pure hatred and spite. I am incapable of love or any remotely positive feeling for that matter."

"S-surely there's a way to find out?" you whimpered.

He sighed and ran his hand over his face. "Yes, there is a divination ritual that can be performed, but such a thing takes time, something you don't have right now."

You squirmed in his grip. "I don't need some fancy ritual to prove that you're wrong. If you just, let me go for a moment, I'll show you."

He eyed you warily before taking a glance around the library. "Fine, but don't try anything. I would prefer if you didn't ruin any of these tomes with your useless dust."

You gave him a curt nod, although the casual threat wasn't lost on you. "Same goes for you."

He released his tendrils, dropping you unceremoniously to the ground but you managed to land your feet. After straightening your armour and retrieving the weapon you'd dropped earlier, you turned back to him again.

Lord Donovan stood with arms crossed and a critical expression on his face. "I'm surprised that you would risk turning your back on an enemy," he commented.

You chuckled, "Well, you just said that you didn't want to ruin these books."

He narrowed his eye socket. "I could've lied..."

You snorted but chose not to needle him further. Instead, you took a deep breath and closed your eyes before pressing a paw against your chestplate.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm baring my soul to you. What does it look like?" you retorted.

You could feel him judging you but he made no move to interrupt. "You're a fool," he finally stated.

You ignored him and drew your soul out, letting the upside down white heart float lazily in your palm. It wasn't perfect like it had once been but the faint cracks spoke of the many battles you'd survived to get to this point. You could even see your stats, which was only further proof of your strength and the deeds you'd committed for it.

When you met his gaze again, you noticed that he looked a bit uncomfortable. His permanent grin had fallen and he was doing his best not to look at your soul directly. He actually reminded you a little of a bashful child at the moment.

"How does this," he vaguely gestured at you, "actually prove anything?"

You had to grit your teeth to keep from laughing at him. Had he never been taught how these things worked? Even an eight year old could understand the significance of baring your soul to your fated.

"The frequency of our souls are the same and that means we are soulmates," you responded.

He scoffed at that. "I'm not showing you my soul."

"Come on... If you'll just do this one thing, you'll know that I'm right!"

He frowned and shook his skull.

"Please, I'm not trying to trick you..." When he made no move to respond, you sighed and held out your paws. "I understand that you don't trust me; I probably wouldn't either if I was in your position. You can hold my hands if you want, I promise I won't hurt you."

He eyed them for a moment. "Fine...but on one condition..."

You nodded vigorously, "Of course!"

"If you really want to see my soul, then I can't have you leave, at least not alive... Are you actually willing to give up everything, including your friends and family, on something as improbable as being soulmates?"

"With all due respect, I am a soldier. I live each day as if it were my last, as does my family. When I was ordered to come here, I did so knowing that I likely wouldn't return and if this is the price I must pay to find my soulmate, then I am willing."

He seemed to consider your words for a moment before meeting your eyes again. His cyan eyelight flickered for a moment before a new look crossed his face. It almost seemed like one of respect but you couldn't entirely be sure.

"Very well then, if you're certain you won't live to regret it."

He hesitated for a moment but when you didn't pull away, he stepped closer and coiled two of his tendrils around your wrists. His grip was firm but surprisingly gentle and he lifted your paws over your head, so there was no way for you to attack him. In this position, your height discrepancy was much more obvious and you felt rather small next to him.

You felt completely exposed like this, even though you were still wearing your armour. Having your soul floating freely with no way to shield it from anyone else's eyes was honestly a little terrifying. He could strike you down in an instant and there wouldn't be anything you could do about it.

Lord Donovan brought his hand to his ribcage, mimicking the gesture you had made earlier. He focused for a second before pulling his own soul from his body. It wasn't shaped anything like you'd expected, instead it was more oblong than heart-shaped, much like the cross section of an apple. It was jet black with a cyan flare around the edges and seemed like it too was coated in corruption like the rest of his body.

You couldn't help but find his soul oddly beautiful but you kept your comments to yourself for a moment. Instead, you watched him calmly for what he'd do next.

He seemed to be contemplating something before gingerly bringing his soul closer to your own. You were thankful that he didn't let them touch, instead holding it a few inches away.

You waited with baited breath.

At first, your souls simply floated there, slowly thrumming with latent mana.

Suddenly you felt an intense pulse pass through your soul.

It was unlike anything you'd ever felt before, although slightly similar to the high that you'd experienced a few times when your LV increased, except way better. There was a rush of power but also a strong euphoric feeling that made all your uneasiness ebb away.

Donovan seemed utterly stunned. His cyan eyelight had shrunk down at least two sizes and he stood stock still like a statue.

"You felt that?" you whispered, although you couldn't keep yourself from grinning like a maniac.

He seemed completely at a loss for words and it took him a moment to even register that you'd asked a question at all. "I... Yes...I felt that..."

"Do you believe me now?"

"You were right about the frequency being the same..." He finally tore his gaze away from your souls and gave you an intense look. "You can't leave me."

You chuckled and tried to move your arms, only to remember that he still had you restrained. "A deal's a deal. I saw your soul and we're soulmates now; seems fair to me."

"Indeed..." he murmured, before guiding his soul back into his ribcage. You noticed that he hesitated to do the same for you.

You chuckled softly at his apparent awkwardness. "I can do it myself if you'd rather not, you'll just have to let me go first."

"No, it's fine..." He took great care not to graze your soul with his claws as he returned it to it's proper place in your chest. His movements were rather stiff though, almost like he was handling fine china and was afraid of smashing it.

His hand lingered for a moment, as if he was debating if he should actually touch you or not, before pulling away. "Forgive me...but this is a lot to take in at the moment. I never thought-" He cut himself off and changed the subject. "I never even asked for your name..."

You smiled and told him your name as his tendrils around your arms loosened, allowing you to lower them back to your sides, but not actually letting go just yet. The tips wound softly through your fingers like they were curious or maybe they just wanted to hold you like a lover might.

"I suppose there is still the matter of your former comrades." He looked off in the direction you thought the gate was in before asking a question. "How would you prefer I deal with them?"

You felt your heartbeat quicken. "I'd prefer they leave with their lives, but knowing Captain Undyne, she wouldn't give up until every one of her men got out safely."

"That poses a problem," he hummed and tapped his mandible thoughtfully. "As my own won't quit until they eliminate all resistance."

Your eyes widened in surprise. "Maybe I could talk to my comrades and convince them to leave?"

"No." His expression darkened and he turned back to you. "They won't leave if they see that you're alive."

"So what do we do?"

He thought for a moment before turning to leave the library, tugging you along with his tentacles. "I have an idea, come with me."

You let out a small yip as you nearly stumbled over your own hind feet while trying to follow him. He spared you a glance over his shoulder but kept quickly moving through the dark passageways. He did mercifully let go of one of your arms so you would have a bit more balance though.

He led you into a room that, from the shelves of tonics and the racks of drying herbs, reminded you of an apothecary. The various herbs and ingredients all melded together into a slightly musty smell that you weren't fond of.

Donovan pulled a specific vial down from the shelf and brought it over to the work bench. You walked over and leaned against it to see what he was doing. After adding a few ingredients and swirling it together, he turned back to you.

"I need you to trust me..." He trailed off and glanced away before muttering, "Not that I've done anything to deserve your trust so far..."

You gave him a gentle smile and stepped closer to put your paw on his arm. He inadvertently jumped at the contact but didn't pull away.

"Of course I trust you. Whatever your plan is, I'll go along with it."

His bonebrows furrowed and he lightly stroked the fur on the side of your face with his claws. "Can I have your dagger?"

"I'm surprised you even noticed I had one," you chuckled as you drew the blade from its sheath and held it out to him.

He hummed and took it from your grasp. "I think you'll find that there isn't much that escapes my attention." He eyed the sharp edge for a moment before glancing back at you. "How attached are you to this?"

You frowned slightly. Your dagger wasn't too special to the naked eye but it had served you well ever since you'd been gifted it after your first successful mission. Even though it wasn't your primary weapon, any of your comrades would recognize it as yours if they saw it.

"It's just a dagger," you answered. "It's a small sacrifice to be with you forever."

He watched you for a moment before nodding. "Very well. This will hurt, but I'm only going to do what's necessary for you to be free of them."

You felt his tendrils coil around your body, cradling and holding you in place. He caressed your face and seemed to study your eyes for a second longer. You took a steadying breath and nodded.

And then he ran you through with the dagger.

You should've found something to bite down on before agreeing to this but your scream of pain was cut off when he abruptly yanked you into a kiss. It was a rough kiss and, if he wasn't holding you in place, you might've fallen over from the forcefulness.

He pulled away quickly and pressed the vial to your lips. It had a harsh taste but you managed to get it down without choking. Almost immediately, you felt an odd warmth flood your body and your eyelids began to grow heavy.

Lord Donovan laid you down on a bed that hadn't been in the room and you wondered if he'd brought you somewhere else. You knew he'd just inflicted what would normally be a mortal wound but somehow your body wasn't falling to pieces. If it weren't for the pain and sudden exhaustion, you probably could've run a mile. Whatever was in that tonic was obviously far stronger than any healing potion you'd ever been able to afford.

Your gaze met his own and when you held eye contact, he seemed relieved. He still held your dagger but it was thoroughly coated in what you instinctively knew was your own dust so that not even the handle was spared. He then took it in two of his tendrils and snapped the blade in half, as if it were nothing but a twig and not hardened steel.

Your shocked expression must've been concerning as he frowned and moved closer to you again. He combed his claws through the fur between your ears in a comforting manner.

"I'm sorry, but this needs to be as convincing as possible if they are to leave and not return in some foolhardy attempt to rescue you."

You swallowed thickly and managed to nod.

"Rest now, I will deal with them myself. You have my word that they won't be unnecessarily harmed."

You were out before he even left the room.

~ ~ /⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\ ~ ~

You awoke to the sound of several unknown voices. There was a loud voice that spoke the most and the fastest, a softer and more raspy voice that occasionally answered the first's questions, and then there was a third much deeper voice who only spoke in clipped one word answers. They immediately fell quiet as soon as they realized that you were awake.

When you risked cracking open your eyes, you came face to face with one of the skeletons from earlier, specifically the one that had corruption leaking from his eye sockets. His skull took up most of your field of view but you could just barely make out the other two skeletons near the doorway.

"well well, look who's finally awake~" he teased.

You narrowed your eyes at him. "I suppose so. Now can you back up a bit?"

He smirked but mercifully stepped away from the bed so you could sit up. Your armour had been removed at some point although you were still wearing your tunic. You would likely need new gear after Donovan stabbed you anyways, but you didn't like being in the same room as three very dangerous people while unprotected.

There was still some pain but you seemed perfectly fine otherwise. Maybe later you'd have to check where the wound had been to see how it had healed. You could feel that a bandage had been wrapped around your abdomen but that was all that seemed to have happened.

"so, word is you and the boss are thick as thieves all of the sudden..."

You glanced up at him sharply. There was no point in denying it but should you really tell them why he'd spared your life?

He chuckled and glanced over at the other two, who seemed like they could care less. "we've just been dying to meet you, haven't we?"

The large skeleton huffed and the hooded one merely rolled his eyelights.

He didn't seem phased by their lackluster enthusiasm and soon turned back to you again. "you got a name then, cutie?" he asked way too sweetly.

You raised your head and squared your shoulders before introducing yourself.

"aw, it suits you!" He grinned, although it was a tad too wide. "i suppose introductions are in order then..."

"the big guy goes by maul," he said and pointed him out to you. He bent down to whisper in your ear, "he doesn't talk much, but between you and me, it's rumoured that he used to be the headsman during the coup in the horrur kingdom."

You believed it. The way you'd seen him swing that greataxe was proof enough of his strength. You were curious how he got the head wound if he was just the executor, but you weren't about to ask.

Maul's single red eyelight observed you coolly before he nodded slightly. At least he didn't seem like he wanted to tear you apart right away.

"mr. broody goes by reven." He directed your attention to the skeleton in question before repeating what he'd done earlier. "pretty sure he still wears his old paladin armour, despite breaking his oath after his brother got dusted. he's the one responsible for the crimson stabbings, didn't you know?"

You pulled the sheets slightly closer and swallowed nervously. You remembered how afraid everyone had been during that time and how at a loss your superiors had been. The murders had gone on for years before just stopping without any conclusion being reached.

Reven narrowed his eye sockets suspiciously but he seemed to like the effect that his supposed reputation had on you.

"it's actually kinda impressive you held him off for as long as you did back there~"

Reven scowled at his loud mouthed compatriot's words and crossed his arms. You certainly didn't feel proud of yourself and if it wasn't for Sir Draco, you knew he would've overwhelmed you quickly.

Trying to distract yourself, you turned to the last unnamed skeleton in the room, who was still a bit to close for your comfort. "And who are you?" you asked.

"You can call me Dirk, or anything else you feel partial to~" He practically beamed at the revelation that you were even remotely interested in his backstory. "I used to run with some brigands and we made a decent killing for a while. Although, I was always meant for something more than that boring life so I killed them instead."

You didn't know what you had been expecting but how flippant he was about committing murder was more than a little unsettling. You really shouldn't have been so surprised though.

"Your armour doesn't belong to you, does it?" you asked carefully.

"oh yeah." He grinned before adding, "i stabbed a guy for it!"

You ran a hand down your face and sighed. "Of course, why did I think you would've done anything otherwise?"

In an effort to change the subject, you glanced at the others and asked a different question. "What happened to...my companions?"

Neither Maul nor Reven seemed interested in answering although the latter suppressed a small chuckle.

Dirk pulled a face and shook his skull. "they ran like cowards," he muttered.

You frowned. "That doesn't sound quite right. Are you sure?"

"well... the fish lady got pretty mad when the boss revealed that you were 'dead'..." He made finger quotes and chuckled. "she actually tried to fight him but he taught her a lesson real quick."

Reven chuckled as well. "she had to be hauled away by the rest of them..." he muttered under his breath.

You felt your heart drop. Donovan had promised that he wouldn't kill them, but you still couldn't help feeling concerned. What if she succumbed to her injuries before getting to safety?

"hey."

You glanced over at Dirk and immediately noticed that his permanent grin had fallen slightly.

"how do we know that you didn't just trick the boss into thinking you two are... what's it called?" he paused for emphasis before continuing, "soulmates, or some other dumb crap?"

He took a step closer to the bed and you inadvertently tried to back away from him. Seeing movement out of the corner of your eye, you noticed that the other two had seemed to take interest as well. Maul stayed by the door, although his grin widened in an unsettling way and he crossed his arms. Reven narrowed his eye sockets and took a few steps closer.

"Of course not! I wouldn't-"

Your protest was cut off when Donovan suddenly materialized on your other side. The boys paused and turned to look at him, although at first he said nothing and shot each of them a look of displeasure. Without saying a word, he wrapped your body up in a few of his tendrils and pulled you closer to him.

"If any of you so much as look at my soulmate wrong, I will not hesitate to strip your souls from your miserable bodies and torment you for eternity," he growled quietly.

You felt a shiver run down your spine but his threat seemed to have an effect on the boys. Maul glanced away and Reven seemed to visibly deflate. Dirk seemed to grow uncomfortable but outwardly didn't appear intimidated.

Donovan eyed each of them for several long seconds before he turned to you and seemed to visibly relax. He gave you what was supposed to be a comforting smile but it still looked a little scary on him.

"I didn't go for a killing blow but holding back is a little difficult for me. She'll probably just lose an eye if treated properly," he stated. His tone came across as pretty ominous but you did feel some relief that he'd at least attempted to keep his word.

"Thank you, I appreciate that you still tried."

~ ~ /⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\ ~ ~

Later, once you were properly healed, Dirk approached you in the common area while you were attempting to salvage what you could from your old armour. You inadvertently tensed up but he flashed you a smile that was probably supposed to look friendly.

"so, i've been thinking," he started to say.

You raised an eyebrow. "That's worrying," you responded with an awkward laugh.

Across the room, you heard Reven snicker but he didn't bother trying to join in.

Dirk's smile grew wider. "heh... anyways, each of us has a place on the team. maul is the muscle, reven is good with both melee and ranged fighting, and i'm the assassin but i dabble in ranged attacks too. so, what do you do?"

You took a moment to think it over. You wanted to get along with them and if proving yourself a competent teammate would help, you were determined to do your best.

"Well, I'm generally a forward scout but I'm more than capable of holding my own in melee combat."

Dirk nodded, "fun! i guess we'll have to eventually come up with a nickname for you." He held out his hand and tilted his skull all the while smirking at you. "welcome to the dark fortress."

You grasped his hand and smiled. Maybe you'd like being here a lot more than you originally thought.

Notes:

A meteor hammer is kind of like a flail. It is a weapon with one or two weights attached to a length of chain. It may be impractical, but I had a distinct mental picture of MC swinging it around that I loved.

Donovan is an Irish name and means dark warrior.

Maul is actually named after the weapon of the same name (although the verb is kinda fitting too!).

Reven is short for revenant and a nod to one of the coolest characters in Star Wars (Darth Revan).

Dirk is named for a type of dagger.

Did you catch what kingdom was taken over by Donovan and his gang? I had a hard time coming up with one that made sense so Storyshift it was. In this world, each AU is its own kingdom, meaning pretty much every major AU can and probably does exist somewhere or somehow.

44 notes · View notes

confoundedluna · 1 month

Text

got that until dawn ps3 version quote list for y'all Finally

it is Just as stupid and ridiculous as the final version and it deserves appreciation too - this post might be longer than the other actually since this version has more chapters, we shall see, and the characters seem to talk to themselves a lot, plus I want to call out More of the dialogue since it's lesser known overall compared to the final game

again, please note these aren't in any particular order, I think they're Mostly chronological per character, I just type them as they come up in the videos and the videos are a bit odd in the way the chapters play out (one video is like. chapters 1, 4 and 5, another is 1, 6 and 7, it's just too awkward to be flipping between videos to watch everything in full order), since a lot are incomplete or need multiple builds to showcase everything they can, but I put together a playlist that was Mostly the order the chapters should be in, including different versions of each chapter in case anything changed across the different builds that I might want to take note of

also please note that some of these i typed based off how the subtitles are written and some off of how the lines are delivered - some of them switch the word order or use like a shortened version of a word or whatever, some lines have dialogue that isn't properly subtitled or has an automated voice reading them rather than an actual actor's delivery, I'm sorry if it's inconsistent but that's just how it's gonna be, i might not notice which version of the quote I used but it's basically the same thing so deal with it lmao

and like last time, let me know if i missed or skipped anything you think should be on this list! I tried to be a bit conservative with how many lines I used and go for just the funniest stand out ones or the ones that carried over, either fully or partially, to the finished game

okay enough disclaimers and apologies and shit, on to the quotes!

CHRIS

(SAM: I thought you were dead!) Well that's a fine thing to say to someone.

Wow. Safety. My mind is blown.

A-ha! And here we have the mysterious graphite spray.

It is believed that seances derive their mystical power by channeling the kinetic energy created by nude bodies... gathered as offerings to the occult, particularly those of young, teenage women. Ghosts are typically not concerned with the nude bodies of pasty young men, so if there are any ladies present, would you please remove your shirts and pants-

I'm beginning to think our friendly ghost is dyslexic.

This isn't a video game, Ash! Not everything's a clue!

There's a place in France where the ladies don't wear pants... (ASHLEY: Oh my god, how old are you?)

(ASHLEY: Look at this! Isaiah 11:6!) Is that a baseball thing? Like the signs at games? (ASHLEY: Uh, no, Chris, it's a Bible thing. You know, like a verse?) Oh, that's what those are. We should read it, right? The baseball Bible thing?

(ASHLEY: Look at this lectern, there's all sorts of animals on it.) It's like Noah's ark. Or that channel with all the animals on it.

(ASHLEY: Yep, it's all here. Fire and brimstone.) Blah blah blah, obey all my commands, blah blah blah, kill all your sons and daughters! (ASHLEY: What Bible did you read?) The cool one, duh!

Hey, I got it! See how this rotates? We could line up the animals like it says in the verse! (ASHLEY: Maybe all those hours in Sunday school paid off.) Absolutely. Not.

This just got totally Indiana Jones on us...

I know the human body has a surprising amount of blood in it, but damn.

Someone's been hunting. Guess they don't need a freezer out here.

Alright, handles all around I guess...

Holy shitballs.

I gotta say, this is not the most sensible thing I've ever done in my life.

Maybe we can find the book that the page belongs to. And find the jerk who ripped it out.

(ASHLEY: What is this, chemistry class?) I don't know about you, Ash, but I always like to leave my dangerous chemicals in a food preparation area.

Phew! See, look at that, nothing out there but the wind. (STRANGER: Sometimes the wind is not to be trusted.) Yeah well you would say that wouldn't you...

Do we just seem like slabs of meat to them? Like in old cartoons when one guy would be starving and the other guy would suddenly turn into a T-Bone steak? (STRANGER: Your thoughts wander uncomfortably far for someone walking through the dark in the W's territory…) Well that's precisely why I'd rather think about cartoons...

Brrr it's so cold out here... I guess it's better being cold than dead... though if I get any colder I might wish I was dead...

No more psychos and saw blades and crazy TV rooms and weird skinny monsters and no more snow and no more screaming hunter dudes.

(ASHLEY: How are you holding up, Chris...?) Miraculously. I mean, I'll probably collapse the second I start to think about anything that's been going on. (SAM: Then don't think about it.)

Ash... Even if Jess was down there I don't think it would be a good idea for us to climb into a mysterious hole in the wall...

We just want to get through this. Together, Ash...

ASHLEY

(SAM: Do you think Em is gonna say something about all this?) Knowing Em... she's gonna say plenty...

I tried to join chess club but I wasn't cool enough.

Cannibalism?! Who would buy a book like that? Who would even write a book on cannibalism? (CHRIS: A cannibal...?)

I don't care what it is- why does he keep doing this to us?!

This is our fault... we can't save him, it's our fault!

Not cool. Not cool.

Where does an elevator even go down here?

Bats... I mean, how in the heck are bats down here?

'A week in the mountains' he said, 'we'll get drunk, it'll be fun'...

Ohhh, I hate creepy noises!

They're crazy if they think they're going to find Josh and the stupid key... (SAM: Emily seemed to think she had a pretty good idea of where to look...) Yeah but she's Emily, Sam! When does she ever do anything that isn't some sort of weird selfish game- (SAM: Em seemed pretty shaken up, Ash, she's just trying to help-) She's trying to get us killed. We're all going to die up here. All of us.

(SAM: Just keep going, Ash, just keep going. It's right ahead of us.) It so does not feel like it's right ahead of us.

You've seen Mike with a gun, he seems pretty confident...

Well Sam, there doesn't gotta be another way- I mean we can hope there's another way...

(SAM: Pull it open!) I'm trying! What are you doing?! Don't hurt yourself not helping!

SAM

Ah-yep... limbs are still working.

Bim bam boom! There, fixed it for you.

That was hellacious.

She's usually pretty cool. Seems more like she's nursing a massive crush. (CHRIS: You mean Mike?) Ummm... yeah? Come on, she's sitting out there like a little lost puppy waiting for him.

Is she really being that big of a bitch to him?

(CHRIS: Wicked Witch of the West.) Right? I wish someone would drop a house on her. (CHRIS: That was the Wicked Witch of the East.) Did you seriously just correct me on that?

I can't believe Emily is hooking up with Matt. Didn't really expect her to go full meathead after breaking up with Michael.

Hey, did you get the sense that Jess and Mike are gonna have a uh... 'political summit' on this trip...?

Josh... having a little trouble getting the key into the hole?

(JOSH: I know Sam... I'm sorry... my fingers feel like they're gonna break off...) Do you want me to warm your fingers up so you can get the lock open?

Hello...? Hey guys, is that you? What are you guys doing? Being creepy...?

Hey?! I'm getting a little creeped out here fellas...

Someone help me, I'm stuck in here with a maniac!

I guess Josh needs kind of like a 'time-out' after what he did to us, but...

Okay. That does it. Door is locked. Nothing in or out.

Are you crazy? Or just stupid? You go out there and you're dead. In here we can at least wait- (MIKE: Until what? Come on, Sam.) Until dawn.

(EMILY: How did you find us?) You were making a total ruckus. Emily, I'm not sure you got the memo about the stealth mission.

Perfect. A giant hole.

(EMILY: Be careful...) As opposed to...?

(EMILY: You having a good time up there, Sam?) It's a god damn party.

Don't scream- don't scream- don't scream- (EMILY: I can't help it, I can't-)

Empty. Could have been one of us in there...

Okay Mister Elevator, let's see what we're working with here...

Wow. Now that's more like it. This is baaaaaadass.

Come on already, where is that fricking code?

Come on girl. You'd look good with that in your hands. Don't be shy.

Hey... bout time I found the Big Boy firepower.

I am so done with this place.

Get me outta here. Gotta find the cable car.

Get me out of here. Just get me to the first floor.

I just want to be on the ground, not up here.

Stairs? Ladder? Elevator? Escalator? Just need to get down to the ground floor.

I need out. Find my way to the cable car.

Gotta find the ground floor.

You guys look starved. Let me just fire up the grill.

MIKE

All ye who enter must pay the toll! Take off your pants!

(CHRIS: Maybe I can get a signal long enough to download a manual for one of these things.) ...Nerd alert, amirite?

(CHRIS: Nature calls.) Did you give her my number?

You throw like a- (JESS: Don't say it!) Was just gonna say you throw like a- (JESS: Don't!) ...throw like a beautiful, enchanting woman!

Awww! That's one to show the grandkids, right? (JESS: Don't get ahead of yourself, mister.) I wouldn't dream of it.

You wanna hear a joke? (JESS: Sure! I love to laugh.) Okay. So, how many librarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? (JESS: Dunno, how m-) Shhh!!! (JESS: Really? Ugh.)

(JESS: Goddamn batteries! Shake it, that usually helps! Awesome!) Shake-powered batteries? Who knew.

I wonder what's down there. Ah, I bet it's just a bunch of pickaxes and old cart tracks and miner bones and ghosts of miners, and miner curses and... Woah. Get a grip dude. Class President.

Look at that. (JESS: What're all those symbols?) I think they're ancient. (JESS: Ancient what?) Ancient symbols. (JESS: Such insight...)

I'm not super thrilled at the idea of bears hanging around and crashing our party.

Looks like the path is a little blocked up. (JESS: What do you mean?) Well, it's got all this... tree in the way.

Where'd you go? Jessica? You've got at least five good minutes left until I bring out the waterworks.

This looks like the work of a bear. I do not like the way bears work.

Jess, hon? I promise I totally won't murder you when I find you. Maybe just a little.

So cold out here, but I'm sweating! Is that normal?

(JESS: You're trying to just freak me out, aren't you?) What? Why? (JESS: To get in my pants.) Yes, I would like to scare the pants off you.

So... One time I jumped over a crazy deep ravine on my bike. All the kids from the neighbourhood came out. Some local news too. Everyone thought I wasn't going to make it. (JESS: But you did?) Nope. Totally died. Been dead six years now. (JESS: You're lying.) Am I, though? (JESS: ...yes? ... Right?) There's only one way to find out...!

We're all alone in here, babe. Just you and me... the Presidential suite. (JESS: Well, Mr President, the lights don't work. And I'm freezing!)

Someone really doesn't like things to stay in one piece around here. Why would someone tear this up?

My jaw's chiselled enough already, but still, it could be useful.

Well, I've found the killer bathtub. Jesus, what did I think would be in there?

Woah. Check out the crazy sex book they have up here.

What is this? Ms. Dunkle's tenth grade science project?

Well, we're here now, so we might as well make use of the amenities. (JESS: Like the bed?) Yeah, I'm thinking mostly the bed.

Alright, madame, is there anything else that you require, or shall I retire to my quarters? (JESS: You're not going anywhere.) Madame requires additional services? (JESS: I can think of a few.)

Huh. Turns out our monster is just a broken branch. Guess it must have seen us and gotten jealous.

(JESS: Finally I have your attention.) The Vice President is standing by. (JESS: Well, why don't you bring him into the Oval Office?) Let's sign this bill into law!

Gotta stay calm. Focused. Get out of this rotten pit.

Crap, what are you doing Mikey, what's wrong with you... this asshole killed Jess... he should pay for that... but nobody's gonna pay for anything unless you get out of here in one piece, buddy...

Stay cool, Mikey. Stay cool.

(groans) Unngh… Either I'm getting weaker or doors are getting heavier…

Come on Sir Mike. Don't be such a wimp. Think about Jessica.

He could be waiting for me… it would be wise for me to tread lightly in the lion's den.

Just stay on your guard Potus… Stay alert…

Let's go, Mikey, let's go.

Gravity's my co-pilot on this one.

Aww… god… smells like something died in here, came back to life, ate its own corpse and then threw it all up…

Well well well. Here we are again. Sometimes wandering around in circles ain't so bad.

This is the creepiest rehearsal space I've ever seen.

Alright, keep your head Mr. President. Calm under pressure…

Ah great, another scenic wing of 'le castle de dilapitacion'.

Alright… look at that. Now we're getting somewhere. Don't know where, but somewhere.

Births and deaths, 1905. Some light bedtime reading for when we get through this.

Man, I can't even skip lunch without becoming a hungry monster, how did these guys feel over 23 days. Wait, no, i don't want to think about it.

Hey! Proper old school photo. Ain't that many left that roll with this kind of geddup anymore.

Chris was killed right in front of us, Jack the monster hunter was torn to pieces and now we're just waiting around like sitting ducks? No. We have to get off the mountain. Now.

Boom! For the win.

(EMILY: Ugh. I hate this place.) Admittedly, they have let it go... (EMILY: Yeah, they haven't dusted in years down here...)

Ah, seems like patient number four was suffering from a bout of being too extraordinary.

I'll tell you what. If the patients weren't completely nuts when they checked in, this place would drive them crazy.

(EMILY: Alright, so how are we gonna get out of here?) Scream and cry like girls?

Pe-culiar? That's actually like a for real medical term? Must have been Charlie Cheswick's records.

I wonder how far your gums have to recede before they start measuring them. If I'm reading this right, this guy must have looked like a dollar store Halloween mask. Wouldn't want to meet these chompers in a dark alley. Or terrifying sanitorium.

If wishes were horses beggars would be cowboys. (CHRIS: Woah. You did not just say that.) That guy Jack had some pretty catchy phrases don't you think?

EMILY

(CHRIS: We just saw Jessica, down by the cable car.) Ugh. Any more perfume on that B and you'd think she was a bachelorette party.

My lips are already so chapped. (MATT: I can kiss them and make them better.) In your dreams Loverboy.

Oh my god, are you gonna swallow his face whole? We're all here! How much more of your crap can we take?

Listen you little slut, maybe because I am not on crack I can see what you're doing.

I don't have to spy when clearly you're showing off with your tongue halfway down his throat.

(JESS: You heard what I said.) Why don't you say it again to my face you bitch?

You do whatever you want. If there's a crazy murderer running around then I'm going to get the hell out of here. (MATT: Maybe he's right, Em-) Do you want me to go out there all alone, Matt? Because I will.

We'll take the cable car to go get help, dummy. Come on.

This is totally crazy Matt. This is totally crazy. My head is spinning.

Ugh. It's freezing out here. I did not pack for this.

I wish Chris and Ashley were more helpful. (MATT: Em, you hardly gave them a chance-) You know, I'm just trying to help the situation.

I just can't believe it's happened again! I mean like, is this family cursed? (MATT: Yeah the whole mountain feels cursed.)

Okay, you done good Matt. Took you a while, but you done good.

Look, if you're not gonna call for help, then maybe you should at least get some tunes going for us to listen to while we sit here and freeze to death can you please just get the radio working Matt oh my god oh my god!

Oh my God, stop talking like you're in a movie. Are you pushing the right button? Is there even a signal?

Wow. These clothes are all torn up. And I don't think it's because they were ripped off the sale rack in a shopping spree…

Ugh. Why do these machines always have to be so complicated?!

Ahhh! Jesus… them's the brakes.

Oh come on batteries… stick with me just a little longer…

Ugh… are those… bite marks on the bones? As in like… eating marks?

This is hell. That's all there is to it. Hell. I fell into hell and there are devils wandering around who will poke me with their forks.

Okay, keep quiet, Em. Put a lid on it. Don't want to attract attention...

Juuuust stay quiet... What would Princess Emilia do? I'll tell you what she'd do: she would stay quiet. Shhhh.

Wow. Good thing I checked my claustrophobia at the door. This is gonna be tight. I guess it's either through this little hole or turn around and face Mr Sunshine out there. Hmm. Excellent options!

I gotta try it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right Miss A-student beauty queen and all around hottie?

Bingo! Done. Voila. QED. Hee haw. Locked and loaded. That is how we roll. You go girl. Aaaaannnnd... Cut it. Print it. Saved. Vamos!

Top...! It's the top! Mine top... tip top top of the mine...! No more shaft just... this place! I'm out of the mine! ...Back to the lodge! Back to the fires and warmth and friends! Oh little lodge, I missed you so much... how do I get out of here?

(MIKE: You locking us in?) I'm locking the baddies out. Can't be too careful. (MIKE: Glad you're sure the baddies are out there and not in here.) Feels good to lock a door...

(MIKE: Wow. I guess I totalled the place huh?) Mikey had a tantrum? (MIKE: When I commit to something, I like to do a thorough job.) Hmmmm. Don't remember you making heaven and earth move for me... (MIKE: Hey. Don't say that...) I'm kidding... You did okay... (MIKE: ...that's better...) ...considering the tool you have to work with... (MIKE: Easy! Easy!)

This whole wing just feels like it was for the real head cases. Right? Like the lost causes. (MIKE: Yeah. It's got a really pleasant vibe in here. Let's keep moving.)

Ew. Ew! His gums were receding?! Didn't he floss?! Some people just do not understand the importance of dental hygiene.

One order of W pâté, comin' up!

Wow, Sam, you're really getting all Rambo on us.

(SAM: Look. The machinery. If we can get those metal containers in a row... we can get across.) You're kidding, right? On those rusty... rust buckets out there?

(SAM: You got it! It's working!) That's right, 'cause I'm the mecha-master! (SAM: Now if we get them lined up... We can just hop right across!) Already on it, Rambo. Or should I say... Sam-bo. (SAM: Ah... no... I don't think you should say that.)

An elevator...! Probably broken. Why is everything on this goddamned mountain falling apart!

(SAM: Looks like we've got find a way across.) Score one for Captain Obvious.

(SAM: We've got one shot to get out of here and we can't screw it up.) Right back at ya, lady.

JESSICA

(CHRIS: What's Mike doing?) He's getting all of our stuff to the lodge. Nails. Just had 'em done.

(SAM: We can help you with the stuff.) Oh that's so nice! But... I kinda like it when Mike does it.

Ugh, finally we're out of that stupid wind. I was freezing my buns off out there. (MIKE: I can help you with those if you like...!)

(MATT: Come on Em, relax.) No, it's not okay Matt. That bitch is on crack or something.

Whatever. I don't have time for jealous bitches.

Fine. Whatever. Anything to get away from that whore. (EMILY: Are you kidding me? I'm the whore?)

Ugh, you know, I can't believe Emily sometimes... why is she such a royal B? How could you have ever gone out with someone like that?

(MIKE: Exiled.) More like sex-iled.

Come on troops, move out.

I wonder if they have any room service up at the cabin. I could so use a triple grande mocha cappuccino right now.

You lit up my night... Now all we need are some fireworks later...

How bout some jams? (MIKE: Whatever puts you in the mood.) This one might be my favourite... Until their next one comes out, then that'll probably be my favourite. (MIKE: That's a really good way of thinking about it.) Thanks! ... ...what?

(MIKE: Josh seemed pretty happy to get rid of us back there, didn't he?) Michael! I had no idea you had such a gossipy side... Is this the politician in you? (MIKE: Politician nothing; the guy's a dick!) Hmm.

I keep having this great thought, but then I keep forgetting it.

Somebody's going to owe me a new outfit.

(MIKE: I didn't know Hannah wore glasses.) Yeah. Just when she wasn't around any cute boys.

I wonder if they deliver take out up here. I mean right here.

Ugh. My shoes are getting so moist.

I wonder what's going on back at the lodge. Everybody's probably doin' it.

Nature's kinda gross.

Is that Orion's belt or is he just happy to see me?

Hah! I'm totally going to tell everyone about your fear of birdies.

Stand back, Debbie downer.

Don't worry, I'll save Woodsgate for the next election.

(MIKE: Some of these planks are pretty rickety.) You know what else is rickety? (MIKE: What?) Your face is rickety. (MIKE: That's a really good one!) Thank you!

(MIKE: Watch your step, Jess.) You know what? You're worse than my mom. My mom!

Boom! Sting like a butterfly and float like a bee.

Wow, look at that old photo. (MIKE: Must be an old mining team.) Looks like they really knew how to... handle themselves. (MIKE: Sounds like you wish you could handle them.) Looks really old. I wonder if they're all dead now. Ugh! So creepy!

(MIKE: Probably faulty wiring or something.) You've got faulty wiring.

Unless you want to make out with an ice sculpture, I suggest you get a fire going. Pronto.

It's so cold in here right now my tongue would get stuck to your flagpole.

I'm cold, I'm bored, and I'm getting rapidly less horny. You want to hurry it up with the fire?

(MIKE: It's so dusty.) No maid service up here? What a rip.

Coldness generally isn't conducive to hotness, Michael... Woah. That sounded, like, deep.

While you were trying to find the right button to push, I found some de-light-ful candles that wonderfully spice up the place and light up all the nooks and crannies... Far more cosy and accommodating, don't you think?

I can't lose my phone, my parents are gonna kill me! (MIKE: You can always get a new one!) That's like my fourth one this year.

Just unfasten it! (MIKE: I can get it! I can get it!) Don't send a man to do a woman's job.

Oh. Those perverted assholes. Why can't they just leave us alone and let us have a perfectly nice time? God! What jerks! (MIKE: Hey, they're just trying to have a good time.) Yeah? Well, so are we!

You guys are such dicks! Are you really that upset with me and Michael that you want to ruin our fun? Huh? Well, guess what? You can't ruin it! Because Michael and I are gonna screw! That's right! We're gonna have sex! And it's gonna be hot! So enjoy it! 'Cause I know we're going to! Ugh.

MATT

Ohhhh! She just got Emily'd!

Wow. Someone had a good time in here.

Why would someone leave a picture of keys where the keys should be?

This place can't just be a huge death trap, right? Cable car can't be the only way in and out of this joint.

Josh had a lot of problems... I think he just wanted to be able to sort things out... and put this all behind us...

So the joke I learned, it's really good, it's about like, a dude, who's got a haircut like the moon, and-

Coyote? Bear? ... Why is that okay?

C'mon, Matt... You don't wanna die down here.

The hell is that… Jessica? (JESS: Matt? Jesus… So it got you too.) Yeah… You okay? (JESS: Hardly...) Let's get the hell out of this place. Look! There! (JESS: Light!) That's the cable car station!

Come on, man... nearly there... nearly there...

JOSH/THE PSYCHO

Come on, lock... My lockpick skills are a little rusty...

This is the most boring break-in ever. You haven't even broken in yet.

Hey! Grit bin! Nice work moving that over here!

Everything all right in there? (CHRIS: Yeah, I'm fine. It's really dirty. And a little freaky.) Sounds like my kind of date! (CHRIS: Offf course it does.)

Dude, come on! Let's open this jawn!

Ahh-hahaha! Dude are you okay? That lil' wolverine almost gave you a paper cut!

(SAM: Hey, those things are known to be vicious sometimes.) Vicious to lil' babies. Lil' Chrissy babies.

(SAM: Thank you Chris.) Thaaaank you Chriiiiis.

Yo! Explorers! You guys are gonna need the keys for the love shack!

As you can see, your friend Josh is now in quite an unfortunate situation. If you wish to see him dead, then do nothing and you may watch him die.

Second... clue... picture if you will... high atop a powdery mountain... the only place possible for a jacked up jock like Matthew to score a... 'big break'...

If you'll please now direct your attention towards the main attraction...

Not much time left before your friend is... perforated...

Congratulations! You've just bought yourself... more time... to watch your friend die...

My my my, didn't you do well! You fought the system and you've won. And what you've won is a prize! You're a lucky winner, come on down!

Well, that's the end, folks. I only wish it could have turned out differently, but, unfortunately, I'm still going to kill your friend because, hey - winners don't play by the rules!

Allow me to introduce myself, I am your host!

Oh, I had fun with them... and now I'll have fun with you... There's nothing wrong with having a little fun, is there?

Samantha, my darling, I don't think your friends are going to help you... I've already had a little fun with them...

Oh what a delight it was watching his life drain away. I wonder if watching yours will be just as fun.

(SAM: What do you want?) I just want a little fun, Sam... so why don't we... mix things up a little... You can have ten seconds to pretend like you're escaping... and then you're dead!

Go on, hide if you like... I know just where you are.

(CHRIS: What do you want from us?!) Well now, Mr Chris... I think you've got the answer right there in front of you.

Oh borrring... You think I didn't bulletproof my machinery?

(CHRIS: You're sick!) Heh heh heh... why thank you, kind sir... but the choice... is yours... play ball!

I'm sorry... so sorry... it's all my fault...

THE STRANGER

It would be wise for you to hear me out.

You seem to listen but not to hear.

You have no chance out there on your own- (CHRIS: I'll just have to take my chances.) Then I'll go with you. Alone would be suicide. (CHRIS: Yeah well you're so special.) I am... experienced.

You do not seem too concerned with saving the life of your friend.

(CHRIS: Have you done this before?) Have I foolishly attempted to free a dead man in the hopes of becoming one myself? (CHRIS: Uh...) You ask questions that are not very useful. (CHRIS: My teachers say the same thing. But yeah, so, have you?) This is not my first barbecue.

He who seeks avoidance finds out what he seeks to avoid. (CHRIS: That's... a really confusing saying.)

#until dawn #until dawn beta #until dawn ps3 #until dawn quotes #more appreciation is needed for the beta version of the game #it's just as silly as the final product #so i hope y'all enjoy this compilation lmao #had this one sitting on the backburner for a While #i got real far into a first version of it and then the draft didn't save properly and i lost an amount of progress that i couldn't figure o #-t so i would have to start it entirely again which was very discouraging #since i was already a good third of the way through #but i finally committed to getting it done and dusted #this ended up long as shit but i finally did it

20 notes · View notes

zsakuva · 6 months

Note

How do you come up with so many intricate plots and characters? They seem so… human? I’m very surprised you don’t read much! I guess what I’m asking is, what’s your creative process? Do you take inspiration from aspects of yourself, or is it more of a form of escapism? When you write your plots, do you imagine yourself as the character, the audience, or both?

Another thing that truly amazes me and makes your channel stand out a lot is the way you give the listener a voice. It feels like each listener is so different and unique, and *actually* interacts with the character. It also feels like you’re never spoon feeding us information? All the questions do get answered, but it’s different style imo. Usually, in most ASMR RPs I’ve heard, the speaker will repeat what you said verbatim, (eg. “You think XXX?”, or “You want me to XXX?”), and the frequency at which these types of phrases are used makes it *seem* like a RP. Of course, it’s a challenging medium - the audience needs to know whats going on somehow, but you manage to achieve the same in a much more subtle way. It makes me wonder how long you spend planning out your content haha.

Final question, do you prefer to type or handwrite your plans, scripts, etc? I’ve always preferred planning on paper, even though it’s a bit impractical haha. Also, would you mind showing us your handwriting? I think it says a lot about a person! There’s the stereotype that people usually have a certain handwriting that corresponds to their major/occupation, and if I remember correctly, I think you studied film? I’m just curious hehe. No pressure, of course!

Sorry for sending you an essay, I hope you have a restful and comfy Friday!

Thank you!

Honestly, I don't know how I do it myself considering my memory is absolute shit! Though I don't read much, I learn about characters through other mediums such as television shows and movies. I'll try and break this down for ease of reading!

~My Creative Process~

When making a character or series, it all depends on where my initial inspiration began. For example, with Niall, I wanted to create an M4M series exploring a character who carries trauma of being forcibly outed, betrayed by someone he confided in, and how those events affected him through his adult life. The core of Niall's story was confronting fears that manifested due to the Listener's actions in school, and finding that there was a way to heal, albeit slowly, and a hope to love despite external animosity. Niall exists because I wanted to tell a particular story.

With Zaros, he first came about because of The Noble Trials plot. I knew that he would be different from other characters, so I'm using this series as a means of testing my skill with a new editing style, story format, and new world setting. Although it's more work, I have the most fun with The Noble Trials and making its lore (though I'm always a sucker for that)!

I go into creating characters with the belief that they are all extremely flawed. Whether that be by nature or nurture, there will inevitably be some slew of events in their pasts that shaped the way they act in the current timeline. This also extends to the Listeners so they aren't rigid, boring, and an empty shell. Characters can clash, but they can also change with and for each other. A good example is Isaac's story. He was scarred by his past, and was willing to confine Pickle in the house if it meant not losing someone he cared for again. Pickle was also scarred with abandonment and instability, wondering if they would ever find a home. Isaac gave them a place to belong, and Pickle gave him consolation and courage to face the unknown.

When I write, the character's actions must reflect the backstory in which they were crafted, so I always need to dive into their heads.

~Listener Dialogue~

This requires much more thought to make interactions seem authentic, but there's a fine line between repeating words verbatim and not alluding to any sort of context. I dislike repeating the Listener's words so I try to indirectly insinuate what they were saying whenever possible. If I can do so with SFX alone, that's a bonus! But when scenes contain heavy dialogue, it can be difficult to get the message across without being heavy-handed with repetition, unless that's the purpose of a specific moment.

~Handwriting vs Typing~

I always handwrite my outlines! On some occasions, I can start and finish a script without the help of one, but my workflow tends to include writing an outline of some kind, and it has to be done on paper! I feel like the ideas manifest quicker that way.

However, I always type my scripts. It's much easier to edit, share with other voice actors, and there's a level of professionalism in formatting that motivates me to write more!

Here is an example of my writing. This screenshot was part of a Twitch stream!

#zsakuva #sakuverse #audio roleplay #boyfriend audios

44 notes · View notes

maleyanderecafe · 6 months

Text

Dear Devere (Visual Novel)

Created by: Katy133

Genre: Romance/Supernatural

This game was something that I found on TVTropes of all locations and is very beautifully done. It's more or less a kinetic novel, only really having one important choice at the end, and most of the illustrations are the letters that Devere and Angela send to each other, but it's done in a way that makes the story well done, along with the voice acting for both of them.

The story starts with Angela writing a letter about her book club. She talks about a particular person named Eliza, who seems to hate her, and how she has been giving her rude remarks. She gets a letter back from someone, telling her how he sympathizes with her, signed Mr. Devere. The two continue to write back and forth with each other, with Angela and Devere plotting to have some revenge on Eliza. Devere seems to be unable to visit Angela despite being close in proximity, however, comes to visit Angela in her dreams, and eventually as the two talk, they start to fall in love.

Between the love story, we actually see that we are an inspector who has come to see the missing case of Angela, checking through letters to find where she has gone. We also see later that when Angela and Devere attempt to communicate with each others with lights, there are a couple of agents watching them to make sure that they aren't spies for the other side.

During this time, Devere gets a forged letter from a man named Cailin Calwood, pretending to be Angela and asking for him to not write to her anymore. Devere catches this right away and writes back to warn Angela. We learn that Cailin is one of the guys that has been trying to court Angela, however, Angela finds him rude and pompous and has trying to been stay away from him. Angela finds that her house has been broken into, and suspects that it's Cailin, as he's also been stalking her after he's been rejected. The two of them are able to meet up thanks to a riddle that Devere ends up hiding in his letter, and the two are able to meet up where Devere lives, inside of a cave. However, Cailin catches on, sending another letter to Devere telling him that the two of them don't belong together. Cailin continues to threaten Devere, even trying to get the police to take him down, stating that he is a spy that lives in the woods. They find a body that seems to have been eaten by Cailin's dogs, believing that it was Angela's body that was found. It's later revealed that the body is actually Cailin's, and that the bite marks actually comes from the wolves. The inspector is able to find the cave that Devere resided in and finds a list of things that Devere wanted to do with Angela, like going out into the world and travel. The inspector then has the decision to lie and destroy the evidence, thereby letting Devere and Angela go or to tell the truth.

Lying and destroying the evidence leads to the good ending, where Devere and Angela are seen talking to each other. It's fully revealed that Devere isn't quite human and that the two are able to go out and travel with each other as planned.

Telling the truth will lead to handing over the list to the chief inspector, and waiting as they hear wolves at night, possibly the last sounds of Devere as he dies.

This visual novel is extremely pretty and I love the way that it presents information. We never see what any of the characters look like, but we do get to see the beautiful letters and envelopes that the character writes on. Everything else follows suit in a sort of picture paper cutter kind of way, with photos used for the chairs and everything else that we find inside of the cave Devere lives in. The voices as well add to the experience and I think it really shows just how much the two of them love each other and what kinds of lengths they have to go through just to be together. We never really get to know exactly who Devere is, though based on the fact that he can go into dreams, can tell what people use to write letters (or type them) and can (I would assume) shapeshift into a wolf, we see that he's not quite human, though it seems to be implied he might be some sort of demon of sorts considering the end image of the famous painting, and the names of Angela and Devere themselves. The mystery kind of adds to the allure of the entire thing, which is already whisked in classiness.

The yandere in this one is of course our villain character Cailin, who causes the big problems between Devere and Angela. Yanderes of course, make consistently excellent villains in a lot of media, so Cailin is no exception. He exemplifies the worst for yanderes, being constantly persistent, attempting to kill any suitors (well, specifically Devere), manipulating others into getting rid of Devere (as well as impersonating her to try to get him to stop writing to each other) and breaking into Angela's house. I will say that he makes for a good force against Devere and Angela, forcing them to become more secretive and making their relationship stronger as a result. Of course, in the end, Cailin attempting to kill Devere backfires, leading him to be killed by Devere himself, and possibly in the end getting Devere killed if the investigator tries to tell the truth to find Angela. I honestly did think that Devere himself might be a yandere considering that he killed Cailin afterwards, but I think my interpretation of the letters was a little off, considering that it seems like Devere did it out of self defense rather than protecting Angela (I mean, he probably did it for both reasons, but I think self defense is a higher priority), and that he seems to have been killed in the ending where the investigator tells the truth. Some of the scenes are left a little more vague on what exactly happened, so sometimes there is room for interpretation.

Overall, extremely well made visual novel that I really enjoyed playing. While the yandere is more or less the general bad guy, he does push the narrative and does his job well. I would highly recommend playing it and experiencing it for yourself.

#Dear Devere #male yandere #yandere #yandere boy #recommendations #visual novel #completed

24 notes · View notes

nocturnalazure · 6 months

Text

Warning: long essay ahead.

Following @echoweaver's recent comments, I thought I'd make a public reply on various things I have in mind.

One of the main themes of my story is duty. I find characters that are bound by a code of honor fascinating, and even more so in a criminal environment in which you would least expect such high regard for values. The way my mobsters behave is dictated by their oath to that code and it is absolute. Once you've made that choice, there is no turning back. And yes, that oath takes precedence over everything else. It has to. I wanted all of this to have more impact in the story, and I *think* that's what I'm doing, although obviously in a heavy-handed way.

(As a side note and a disclaimer: I'm not even going to go into the absurd debate of whether or not I'm "romanticizing criminals". That is not the point.)

Take a character like Erik. His whole identity is defined by the mob, in the same way his father found purpose in working for the Golzines. To him, his being a mobster is essential, it means belonging somewhere and being needed. It is even more important to him because of what Laurie means to him (more on that later).

Now take Romeo. He's a reluctant boss and he'd shake off his mafia ties if he could. He's clearly not committed in the same way. It was never a dream for him but a very burdensome inheritance. However, because Laurie showed him it was possible to change things from the inside, he has chosen to accept his legacy, come back and take over from his hateful father. Things are relatively easier for Romeo: he leads a small organization, running almost autonomously. While Laurie is in charge a huge conglomerate with enormous influence, the downfall of which would have consequences that are difficult to measure. We will get more on Laurie's perspective soon.

A romantic relationship with any of those men will always come second to those duties. It may be very romantic to imagine that they can just drop everything out of love, but to me, it doesn't sound very realistic. They live in a such a world that requires them to be available at all times, regardless of what they want to do or who they are with.

So in this regard, I don't think Erik was dishonest with Gloria. His communication style has always been awkward but sincere. Erik didn't promise Gloria anything. He told her before anything happened between them that there were parts of his life he couldn't talk about. He was upfront from the very beginning, and she made a choice, coming back to kiss him. But she thought she could change him, and that's where her mistake lies. You can't change someone like Erik, because of his oath but also because being dedicated is part of his character.

On the other hand, Jamie doesn't try to change Romeo. Romeo has never offered more explanations than Erik did, and Jamie has just accepted it. Romeo did ask Jamie to come with him to Monte Vista, which is a commitment, but he would have gone anyway, with or without Jamie.

Gloria's outburst on the other hand was out of character for her, very much so. She is not particularly shy, but she is reserved and always composed. But in that particular moment, she is freaking out because she's afraid of losing Erik. In the end, she's the one who leaves him with no option. And she ends up losing him over it. Yes, she would truly deserve being with someone who sees her as a priority. But that's not what Erik can offer. Because of his duty, but also because of his lingering feelings for Laurie.

I personally see Laurie and Erik's chemistry and their potential as romantic partners. I'm trying to show how they feel about each other in pretty much every scene in which they interact (and even when they do not interact). The relationship that they had at the very beginning was uncomplicated, but they can't come back to that because too much has happened since then. Granted, their current relationship is slightly unhealthy: Laurie needs to sort out his own issues and be more open, and Erik needs to back off a little bit. But without characters that have the possibility to grow, there wouldn't be a story, would there?

I'd rather not have had to explain it in so many words, but since it may not be clear: this breakup with Gloria is a decisive moment for Erik. He chose more than duty, and he's aware of it.

We will soon focus on Laurie's side of things. Anh will definitely bring something different to the table.

#text post #random #character development

37 notes · View notes

paragonrobits · 1 year

Text

today's hot take: i don't read Fionna and Simon's relationship as parental at ALL, because while their initial foreshadowing is heavily romantic in nature (Ice Prince being depicted as a Tuxedo Mask-esque handsome icon being Fionna's essential establishing character moment for Simon before she is initially annoyed by his sour attitude and then comes to know him better and then care about him), there's a few other points for them explicitly not having a father/daughter dynamic at all, but the biggest one is that they are fundamentally peers.

This might not be readily apparent because of their ages, but at the ages they're at and that inform their world view and relationships to others like them, they're pretty much in the same bracket. Fionna is in her 30s, while Simon was originally 47 when he got the crown, and nearly in his 60s at this point; while you may assume that her being almost literally half his age works against the interpretation of them having similar experiences, they ARE at the age where age differences honestly don't really mean that much and gradually become irrelevant in terms of lived experiences.

The bigger thing, though, is that their status as complementary story foils are the most relevant bit for their characters.

Fionna and Simon are foils to each other, with a nearly identical start to their character arcs: they BOTH long for a different sort of world than the one they got, but from opposite directions. Fionna lives in a mundane 9-to-5 world and wants a magical world of adventure. Simon is in that world (after living through the gradual process to make a mundane world into a magical one) but he wants the more mundane experience he remembers once, and he just can't feel that he belongs in Ooo, just as Fionna can't help but feel all wrong for her mundane world. While Simon doesn't have any interest in making Ooo boring and normal, he DOES latch on fast towards the idea of becoming Ice King again even as he clearly hates it, because he desperately fixates on the idea of being needed by others, even (no, ESPECIALLY) if it hurts him in the process.

They both want to be heroes, in their way, and resent being part of worlds that they feel they don't belong in anymore, and clearly ignore multiple opportunities to find magic or meaning in the world right around them, and SPECIFICALLY ignoring them in pretty much the same ways, to the point that the episodes Fionna Campbelll and Simon Petrikov parallel each other, not just in titles but in general progression; they go through a lot of similar circumstances, to the point of encountering the same sort of circumstances that they ignore or swat away. It's not the magic or normal they WANT... or perhaps wanting isn't even the right word. Their experiences or vague memories of the world they used to know keeps demanding to have something more like that; they ignore friends and family, or explicitly go out of their way to not tell them anything; Simon shuts down his feelings and won't tell Finn or Marceline anything (almost certainly because he feels like he would be bothering them) and while Fionna goes to her friends for help, she doesn't really confide in them.

This extends even to their songs, Not Myself and Part of The Madness; they both have very similar overtones of depression, feeling out of place, and fundamental loneliness. Its different in the particulars; Fionna is weighed down by the mundanity and changelessness of her world, feeling alone even with her friends. Simon glumly wants to help people but he CAN'T do anything without magic; no one needs anything from him, and people (he thinks) aren't happy to see him.

Fionna longs for an inexpressible time of magic and without it, she feels lost and empty. Simon wants to be needed and feels empty inside BECAUSE he thinks he's supposed to be better now, but all it does is make him feel upset and bad about being upset. Fionna's primary issue is that she's... lost, in a similar way. She remembers her world being magical but not clearly, much as the vague impressions Simon recalls his experience as Ice King; we don't even know WHAT her life has been like, and its entirely possible that everyone's life is a blurry hazy mess in the mundane world she's gotten, but she and Cake are the only ones with the awareness to work it out and be unhappy. Both Simon and Fionna can't help but remember how things used to be, or that they COULD be another way, and be endlessly lost in their own gloom and dissatisfaction.

Past the point where they actually meet and are starting to like each other's company (to the point that they remain in contact across the gulf of worlds post-minseries), these factors and their generall dynamic (Simon as a wet cat in a perpetual state of OH SHIT while Fionna tries her best to be a bruiser but unfortunately finds that in her life she doesn't have the skills or power to pull it off, leading to them BOTH feeling useless) make them both feel like peers; people with similar problems in the same boat. A lot of Fionna's character development comes from her slowly realizing what she's actually asking from Simon and her growing fear of making her world as dangerous or frightening as some of the places she's seen, while Simon has to come to terms with the fact that he really DOESN'T want to be Ice King again and that he needs to come to terms with it.

As a result of all that, they have a strong vibe of feeling like peers, not like a student and teacher or a similar dynamic.

(Also Fionna DID smooch Winter King with zero hesitation and while that didn't end well for anyone involved except PB, no one found this unusual in-universe. Except possibly Simon and HIS primary issue feels more like he thought of Winter King as a better version of himself in general and he got resentful about that.)

#adventure time #fionna and cake #fionna campbell #simon petrikov #analysis #meta #this is a very long winded way to say 'i get why people get intense about Simon's Dad Vibes but #i do not think it applies with him and Fionna at all'#related topic: I think fionna has a vibe of also taking care of her friends in her own way in the past #i don't really have evidence for this but it FEELS right??#queued #if so it would push her and Simon even further into similar territory

43 notes · View notes

silverolivia-upsidedown · 2 months

Text

Hello! Just me back and being a huge nerd about the Eliksni So, while we don't have an actual official conlang for them we do have a VIBE for how their language might be written out by the design team. And it's been under my nose this whole time!!! Join me for this journey and exploration <3

First off let's take a look at what I've been seeing most places.. like, 99% of all the language we see is basically given to us like this...

(Yes, I might have obsessively taken a screenshot every time I see the in-game language DONTJUDGEMEOKAYTHISISASAFEPLACEFORSPECIALINTERESTS >.< But what we see here are probably something like a single word, or a word/symbol that has a meaning like the way that the Chinese alphabet has meanings for each letter. It could also be a tagger's name, but then that brings up all sorts of wonderful questions like WHO IS TAGGING THIS SHIT xD which is really just a nothing burger as much as it's a wonderful idea. It could also very much be a sort of... Like... you know how when you get a rubbermaid bin and you write like... "Christmas ornaments" on it, but then end up get rid of what's in it and just write the new contents next to the old contents? I feel like that might be what a lot of these are. Like the OFFICIAL, clean looking one says like, "Ether Tanks: Medium". And then the new spray paint next to it says something like, "Short Term Produce" or whatever. Or maybe it's like, the shortform name of the crew that this belongs too for shipping and redistribution, ala a quarter master trying to keep track of everything. 🤷

But I'm digressing. Here are those formal script and then the messy next to it.

Anyway. So the other way we see the language in very small snippets is like below, where we see there is a strong (but with notable variance) inclination towards a horizontal writing style instead of vertical. We can also see the general vibe or, um.... flow of the text and individual letters and how they deferrer when they are basically typed out and printed nicely instead of freehanded on the side of a wall.

Okay.

We have our baseline. Let's get into the weeds.

First of all we should not take into consideration a few of these for the rule of vertical vs horizontal because many of these are actually just turned on their side. And in general (and really what this whole post is about) right now I am focusing on the way the design team has decided the language should feel when it's written out. So very briefly, I am going to go over some not in-game official bungie material with Eliksni script on it, since I feel like this I have too, even though I kinda feel like, unless they specifically say "this is how it looks", the in-game art design is always going to be more... official? I don't know. We press forward!

There's more, but I think you get the idea. And yes, I included the Cayde comic because I feel like there's some interesting things in there.

Anyway, moving right along. I want to bring attention to two thing in particular. The first is that I don't think we should dismiss certain small lines in the spray paint versions as drips. I think they are part of the form.

I think they have meaning like in Japanese or other languages where each character has a story or a meaning and changes the way a word is said and also how that word might be used or changed when interacting with other letters/symbols.

The second thing is that there is a lot of repeating/flipping of the decals and in-game assets. But even with that, that I think there is a definite flow with the way the letters are allowed to smoosh into one another, but on a design level, while I think there are some basic rules, I feel very strongly those rules went into making the original script/decals/assets that the devs now use, and that when they go to write something like this...

they are literally just copy/pasting or going "qwertyuiop[]\';lkjhgfdsa" on the keyboard. Now, on to the exceptions of which there are three (as far as I've seen). For this next part I humbly request that you forgive my waxing poetically and also indulge my theories, I promise they are actually based in reality xD The first, and most exciting, and the reason I even posted this, is that I finally noticed the flags on the skiffs! And they.... have a FONT... And actual in-game font... and I think it was a happy accident the devs rolled into some fun lore.

This...

is house of dusk... but the FONT that whateverthissays is in is ABOSLUTELY in the style of House of Winter.

Now, I have two thoughts about this. The first is the happy accident I was talking about before which is that the original skiffs were all done in the design for House of Devils... and House of Winter in D1. But then they needed House of Dusk, who are mostly all the house of winter peeps who scattered after The Final Attempt (battle of six fronts). So they just recolored the House of Winter stuff and BOOM, they can keep the old assets and just recolor them.

The second idea, and one that is a DEEP LORE thought, that I don't think bungie actually cares enough about their lore to connect the dots for: is that as mentioned in a lore tab where Variks and I believe Fikrul are talking, there is a mention of a second "High Speech". And to me, it would make a LOT of sense for there to be a written version of that High Speech that would be a bit more flowery and have different characters. I think it would also make a lot of sense for that more special text be what things like House symbols are made out of, and also what one might put on their flags... like on that skiff.

The second is this little guy... he's very new and I only saw it recently, and I'm nearly 99.99% sure it's eliksni, only because there is a break in the "C" in the center and that's VERY eliksni.

That and it's on a crashed ketch that was in a mission we played within the last year lol

But this is.... totally different from everything else we've seen, and I honestly am totally stumped. It might actually be a representation of the influence that humanity has on the Eliksni. And that many eliksni (especially those in house of dusk) feel disconnected from their heritage, and more connected to the ruminants of humanity's golden age, and earth in general.

The other interesting little thing is something I found on a ketch that I managed to get on top of before it despawned. (at least that's what the file name makes me think I was trying to convey >.< past me is a dumbass and says "Oh, I'll know what this means later" spoilers, I never ever know lol)

Again, this is... just completely different from what we've seen before. Even the letters are different. The way they are grouped is new. I just wish I had more of stuff like this.

But theory crafting aside, we can really get an impression for how one could replicate or imitate the flow of the language. That's it! Thank you for coming on this little meandering exploration of the in-game text ^^..^^

#destiny 2 #eliksni #destiny the game

11 notes · View notes

the-martyrfication-of-the-matron · 6 months

Note

can i ask for a quick rundown of your mcd and/or mystreet rewrite? i’m a new follower and a tiny bit lost 😭

Ah, Ofc!! this will be a long post, because you said 'quick' and i just heard 'explain everything'. just because I don't know HOW to summarise everything, so I just explain what I can... which is too much.

each section will have a TL;DR if it's long, though.

So, the only rewrite I’ve actually, like, done so far is Amaranth (https://archiveofourown.org/works/31310384)

It’s an MCD rewrite, the first one I did, and it’s not **technically** related to my overall rewrite universe, though I’m not going to totally discredit it. It’s where I got a lot of my ideas, and it was sort of a first draft for me. It’s very similar to MCD, just with events changed to how I would have written them myself. Major change is that the Zane/aphmau engagement actually goes somewhere. My favourite change was the Pikoro arc tho for some reason bc it was just my first significant deviation from the original plot.

Now… cannibalism and cult stuff, yeah?

(Don’t read past this point if you are uncomfortable with discussions of human-on-human meat/organ consumption)

Lycoris Radiata (https://archiveofourown.org/works/50710504) is the only part of this current era of rewrite!Aphverse that has any content so far.

TL;DR for this section: i mostly just emphasised themes present in canon, there's cannibalism for magical reasons, Shad is more relevant early on, and there's a reason why characters look like that when i draw them, i promise. Also, cult stuff!

LR is an MCD rewrite, which has some lore changes. It begins with Avra (Aphmau) travelling with Visher, Garroth being angsty, and so on. Only the prologue and first chapter are currently posted, and you don't need to read Amaranth to begin it (though it will follow similar storylines later on). Basically, the main premise is that it’s kind of a criticism of imperialism, organised religion, and so on. Those are themes already present in original MCD, and so I… expanded. Blood Magic is the main magic focused on as well. It's the kind that Avra uses, and it's the kind that makes SKs function. Avra has to consume blood and meat (typically organ meat, preferably human) in order to have any amount of magic, and depending on what creature the meat comes from, also grants her some fun little magical extras. She also has a strong association with Judgement(Shad) in my rewrite, and there is a reason I draw them so often together. Most character changes you'll see have some lore-based backing for it. Characters who are made darker-skinned, or have had their haircolour changed, it's typically due to them belonging to a particular ethnic group that i made for Ru'Aun or Tu'La, which does impact their characters in the way that they obviously grew up under certain cultures. Sometimes it'll just be because I think it looks cool, or for visual/thematic parallels with another character. If you're ever curious as to knowing why i have certain characters looking the way I do, then just ask. Oh, also, people aren't just loyal to Avra because she's nice. there's like an actual cult thing that begins happening and to say there's some weird shit with that would be... underselling it.

A Royal Tale, and Mermaid Tales both fall into the timeline between LR and the MyS rewrite. they're quite insignificant series, but i decided to devote myself to being a completionist.

My plans for them aren't really set in stone yet, but I know i want to expand upon them and their lore a lot more, and they will eventually both fall into the, uh, cannibalism and murder theme of the rest of the rewrites. they'll likely be little side projects. I have trauma from ART tho. Show makes me *uncomfy*

Mystreet.... yayyyy...

No official name for the rewrite yet, I'm working on it.

TL;DR: If you let an edgy teenager write MyS but they also watched desperate housewives so they write some sitcom episodes on the side. Also, Avra needs that gross-tasting nailpolish that stops you from chewing on your nails... but like... all over her body.

Basically, MyS except they've always been reincarnations of their MCD (or LR, in this case) selves, with some residual trauma and habits because of that. I'm going to lean more into the darker seasons, even though Ik popular opinion is that the light-hearted ones were the best, and I'll just focus more on lore and stuff. PDH has a 17 year old Avra joining PDH, after being homeschooled for a while due to having some mental health issues. I'm going to go a little more 'general highschool drama' vibes, might have some mystery shit idk. Will be less cringe than canon, because yes, i'm cringe and i'm free, but even i have limits. The more lighthearted seasons might just be amalgamed into one big 'sitcom style' fic, which will be set before S4 and such, but i'll probably make lighthearted chapters between the serious ones. S4, Aphmau's Year, S5, S6 and Her Wish will be my main priority, and will go into the whole murder and cannibalism theme of LR. It'll already have been kind of expanded upon, because MyS!Avra has a bit of a habit of auto-cannibalism (eating the skin around her nails/on her fingers, on the inside of her cheeks and on her lips) which eventually just... goes a little crazy. There is gonna be cult stuff in MyS too, it just might present differently to how it does in LR. Or maybe similarly. Idk, depends on how you view it.

#tw cannibalism #tw cult #i dont know how to explain them without going into way too much detail i'm sorry #if anyone could do a better job of it i would pay them (i cant actually bc im broke but)#aphmau #aphverse #aphblr #rewrite #mcd #minecraft diaries #im working on a bible of LR info so i might just put the doc for that online eventually idk #lycoris radiata/ranthredo #ranthredo

18 notes · View notes

provincial-girl · 2 years

Text

So, I’ve been thinking a lot about queer friendship in A League of Their Own lately, specifically about one particular moment between Max and Carson in episode 5.

It happens after Carson gives Max that endearingly awkward pep talk, and Max comments that Carson is “a very strange person,” in a playful, teasing way. Carson doesn’t necessarily seem offended or hurt by it, but her smile becomes subdued and she hesitates, fidgeting with her glove as she looks down before nodding as she says, “uh, yeah, I have heard that a couple of times.” Max responds “Me too, my whole life” and it’s probably the first time in Carson’s life that she gets that kind response after she says or does something that others might perceive as a bit odd. It’s not judgment, and Max isn’t laughing at her, but identifying with Carson’s experience.

This feels like the moment where they really see each other for the first time, recognize this shared queerness without speaking it. Queer as an adjective means strange or odd, so it would makes sense that this might even be a sort of coded coming out for Max, and an acknowledgement of something they both already know about Carson’s sexuality. I don’t think it’s an accident either that this conversation happens after Carson tells Max to throw as herself rather than imitating other pitchers. When Max does, Carson seems stunned, like she really recognizes Max’s specialness for the first time. I also don’t think it’s an accident that this is the first time they’re playing together in broad daylight; they can clearly see each other for the first time, both literally and figuratively.

It also feels like a moment of growth for Carson, because it contrasts so much with Carson’s insistence that she’s “normal” after Greta tries to kiss her in the kitchen. The way she says “I’m normal” in that moment with Greta suggests she’s maybe said this before, tried to convince herself of it more than once. In the scene with Max, though, Max says something that implies that Carson’s not normal, that she’s “strange,” and Carson’s knee-jerk reaction is no longer to say ‘no, I’m normal.’ She acknowledges something that’s been in Carson all along, something that she’s grown to accept, even embrace about herself in her time with the Peaches, and she’s doing it at this point in part because she has this innate comfort level with Max.

This scene is just one of many examples of how well this show does queer friendships, and the way it portrays this very specific sense of support and belonging that the queer characters find with each other. It’s so, so rare to see, rarer than finding queer couples on TV, because it requires there be several well-rounded queer characters to do right, and that just doesn’t happen very often. A League of Their Own does it so right, and with such care, and I love this show so much for that.

#a league of their own #carson shaw #max chapman #aloto #queer frinedship #is this #meta #?#idk but it's the first time in 10 years that I've had the urge to write anything remotely #resembling meta #so I'm just gonna go with it and put these thoughts out there #this show has me in an absolute chokehold in the best possible way #my stuff

329 notes · View notes

sleezeboss · 4 months

Note

Hello!!!

I have been a fan for a very long time and it’s really amazing to see your story and art develop over the past years! I’ve been a follower of BadBeat and it’s reiterations and I’m excited to see where this new project may go. I look up to you as an artist and am greatly inspired by your work.

I have a question about the other characters, such as the other demons (Levi, Mammon, Asmodeus, Lucifer, Satan, Belphi) and other characters (Chandra, Marquis, and Josiah). I see you answered about Belphi being a sworn ex of Bub’s (which poor thing he was so sweet 😢), Chandra being a dealer for them of sorts, and Satan being a rough and negative influence of Bub’s. However, I wonder what else is written about the others and what you are willing to share about them. I know Asmodeus had a big influence on Rex in BadBeat, but I wonder his personality and role as an antagonist now. I also wonder how the other demons play in as well, like the others mentioned. Also I want to know if Marquis and Josiah even exist anymore. Is there any new characters?

I apologize if this ask is long and confusing but I am wondering what you can share before this new story is released and want to know more of the characters not mentioned.

thank you so much for being such a longtime fan! that really makes me happy to hear. So just some clarification before I answer your questions, you got a couple names confused!

Chanda's name is just Chanda, no R.

Joe's full name is not Josiah. It's Giuseppe, but he goes by Joe.

okay the rest of this got LOOOONG, so just a heads up.

I've answered questions a couple times regarding if Mark, Joe and Chanda will be featured in this story, and the short answer is yes; they do have a place in this world and story and they do still exist. Whether or not I make any story content (short story, short comic, etc) about them still remains to be seen. The difficult thing about reinventing your OCs and changing their backstories is that they kind of start to become nebulous and unclear to you again, and you have to relearn who they are in the world when the setting changes. These three in particular have been very uninspiring for me for lack of a better word. I know they seem to be a fan favorite among my audience but I just feel nothing for them at the moment. I'm trying to give them time to simmer on the back burner and see what comes up. Chanda's reinvention as a hag / witch was a good step, but that's all I got. Joe and Mark will still be a vampire and a werewolf respectively but that's all I got.

As of right now, my idea is that the main cast is Bub and Rex. Mark, Joe and Chanda are reoccurring cast members / allies to Brex. An example of a typical "episode" in my head is that Brex checks in with Chanda, get their mission from her, and then they go on their merry way. Meanwhile, Joe, Mark and CHanda would be the B story that is either contained to their own event, or they are aiding Brex in some way.

Ideally I would love for all the devils to have their time to shine as an antagonist. With this setting where Brex are clearly defectors and traitors to their respective sides of a war, they both will have characters from their past coming to try and thwart them or break them apart. Satan, Asmo and Belphi would be considered bigger villains and antagonists because they have direct personal relationships to Bub and Rex, whereas Mammon, Luci and Levi have less stakes in the mix simply because they're not as involved with their interpersonal relationships and backstories. (that may change down the line! who knows.) The devils all have relationships with each other tho, so it's not like they have no reason to be there.

So jumping back to Asmo for a second, I mentioned in another ask that Rex's soul already belongs to a devil due to a deal his mother made before he was born. Lately, I've been thinking it goes something like this: I think the devil who made that deal was Asmodeus. We get this kind of dynamic where Asmo haunts and taunts Rex, but Rex has no idea why. He has night terrors about this devil, and feels his influence all around him, but he's resistant to it and fights it.

When he figures out what happened to him, that his soul was claimed before he was even born, I think he attempts to take matters into his own hands. He actually attempts to summon Asmodeus on his own and confront him. Now, remember- Rex is in a cult of highly dogmatic demonslayers and witchhunters, and is preparing to become the leader, so him dabbling in any kind of summoning magic is highly taboo, even if his end goal is to slay and confront his literal demon, so just go ahead and add all the angst you want to this hypothetical scene :P

Anyways, as fate would have it- he messes up somewhere along the line, and summons Bub instead. I think he was fasting the day he decided to do this to "purify his body" or some shit, and the whole time he's working on summoning a Lust Devil, he's thinking "God I'm starving..." and it dominates the spell summoning spell he's casting hahaha.

Now, another idea I've been chewing on lately- I've been watching a looot of True Blood (old HBO vampire show from the 2000s. I loved it when I was a teen.) and there's a thing in the universe where vampire blood has highly potent magical qualities when ingested by humans. It can heal their wounds and save their lives essentially. When taken recreationally, it's also a very potent aphrodisiac, so when a human has the blood of a vampire, they get very vivid sexual fantasies about the vampire who's blood they are taking.

I have been really inspired by this and want to apply a similar thing to my devils in my world, so I like the idea that when Rex summons Bub, even tho it was an accident, he starts get these potent sexual fantasies and feels this intense attraction to a beast he's sworn to kill. I really love the idea of Rex suffering thru that inner turmoil of being a righteous man in his beliefs, but being so conflicted by what his body wants. while also being ASHAMED. Like, come on! it's not the sexy mysterious and refined devil that's been haunting his dreams- it's this bozo of a glutton devil!

Okay reigning the tangent in and trying to address your last question- I do have a couple new characters for this world! First of all we have a lot of Rex's family as reoccuring cast members / antagonist. Rex's dad is a huge character in his backstory, as well as his mom.

Rex's daughter is a character that will come into play eventually, too. I'm looking forward to designing her for this setting.

and I'm also at that stage in my world building where any new characters I make, I want to find a place for in this world. All my worlds feel connected, Im just that kind of artist where everything I make tends to share similar themes and settings. I have a very very old oc from 2015 who now has a place in this story for example. He's a young exorcist who becomes Rex's mentor when he decides to commit to learning demon magic.

Okay I need to stop here, I can't believe how long this got lmao

#long post #barf asks

9 notes · View notes

utilitycaster · 1 year

Note

i've never had to 'curate my internet experience' with the speed i have today, blocking so many bad-faith takes on mercer and cr as a whole. When I saw one arguing cr fans shouldn't be surprised, because the 'big dog' is always hated, then actively compare CR to both the yankees and star wars in terms of size and vibe of the fans, i had to let it go. Apparently cr is made up 'wildly successful voice actors' like ah yes. the clout of the VO. Gonna silo myself for this damn show, too old for this!

Hey anon,

I completely support doing this if it's right for you but might I recommend laughing at the bad faith takes? Because here's the thing. The vast majority of what I've seen is from two specific places that are probably directly next to each other:

Former CR fans who are really mad that Beau got into a relationship with Yasha, and decided this meant Critical Role was homophobic, sexist, and racist for having an interracial lesbian relationship because [footage not found] and left for Dimension 20. Unfortunately, they forgot that Dimension 20, which had Matt in the very first sidequest as well as "Sidequest for which we need people who we know are talented, dependable and very comfortable with D&D Actual Play because it's our first remote filming", does not as an institution hate Matt Mercer in the slightest, and in fact likes him. Anyway they're throwing a hissy fit because in the end, this was always an extended hissy fit. Would you like some popcorn bc I personally prefer Chicago style with the mixed caramel and cheese.

Some absolutely bonkers tiny circle of people who are fixated on an unconfirmed ship between an NPC and the character she killed two decades before the narrative. Anyway they say they're mad because Matt isn't plugged into the fandom but the thing is most of the D20 fandom was also not plugged into this particular circle, which is but a speck of dust in an uncaring universe. So they're actually secretly DELIGHTED Matt is DM-ing because they can hide their entitlement behind the fact that they can call the DM of a very popular show an interloper, but they're also terrified because Brennan does still exist and is in fact playing the character most tied to the NPC in this ship, and like...if Matt contradicts their fanlore, that means Brennan did not confirm their fanlore, which means not only is it debunked now; it was never canon to the world in the first place. Which you'd think would be fine because fanlore has no need to be canon, right? It's fanwork! Go nuts! Except these people are kind of dumb.

Anyway for what it's worth I'm neither a Yankees nor Star Wars fan but also I acknowledge that most of the time when people are mad at the popular thing for being popular it really is kind of a "you want to fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid" sort of situation. They desperately want their thing to be the biggest fish in the pond except they'd also hate that. They are a big orange cat stuck in a cat flap and they're acting like it. And as with a big orange cat that doesn't belong to you stuck in a cat flap but ultimately unharmed and perfectly capable of getting out on its own, I recommend taking a picture of it and laughing about it on social media.

#answered #Anonymous

36 notes · View notes

lumine-no-hikari · 8 months

Text

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #27

I'm more than a little dejected today. A new trailer of your upcoming game was shown to us today. In it, they painted you as this evil, horrible person. Some people in my world talk about you as though you were rotten and awful from the time you were born. Some people in my world say that you've been so abused by the world that you are now broken beyond hope of recovery. Still others say that, because of the way you were made and how you were raised, you're so different from and alien to everyone else that there's no possible hope of you ever belonging anywhere.

…The end result of all these thoughts, naturally, is that many people in my world think that the best thing that can happen to you is for you to be "put out of your misery" as though you're nothing more than a rabid animal, as though there is nothing more to you than the mistakes you've made, as though you (and others in my world who are similar to you) are not a sentient, thinking, feeling being, capable of being spoken to or reasoned with. Having empathy for you is VERY unpopular here, and it is a great way to become further ostracized, even amongst those who may or may not also consider themselves misfits.

I feel heartbroken about this sort of thing. Even if you were absolutely devoid of empathy (and you've shown time and time again that you are very much NOT devoid of empathy!), that's still not an issue of morality - that is a brain wiring issue. Some people really are born with problems in the parts of their brain responsible for empathy; it is not their fault. When that happens, it requires proper supports to be put in place so that they can thrive without hurting others despite their condition, not judgment, persecution, and demonization. Anything less is ableism. And I live in a world rife with ableism, and lots of other very unpleasant "-isms" and "-phobias" that prevent certain kinds of humans from being treated like actual people.

Sadly, it is also the case that I live in a world where, when people make mistakes, especially if they think the person should have known better than to make a mistake, people tend prefer the metallic, sanguine taste of retribution and punishment over the sweetness of mercy and restoration. It's for this reason that the cycle of pain continues ad nauseam in this ridiculous and terrifying place.

I'm scared that I'm going to have to prepare myself to watch you die a second time. I don't really know what else to do to help you, so in the trailer that was shown, I put a small wish for good things. Good things upon Cloud and his friends. Good things upon your world. Good things upon you, especially.

…People laughed at me. One of them said something to try to make me feel small, stupid, and worthless. For whatever reason, they seem to lack the necessary empathy and critical thinking skills required to understand that the way stories are told in my world ends up weaving the fabric of society and influencing how humans view and therefore treat each other and themselves. Stories, by and large, are thought experiments that people then apply to the real world as moral templates and as patterns of speech and behavior.

What this person failed to see, as well, is that real people in my world are already treated in much the same way that you are treated in yours. While the way you are treated is broadly applicable to any human who is "othered" in my society, when I look at you and consider the way you think, speak, move, and behave… when I consider your mannerisms and general way of being, you look very similar to neurodivergent people in my world. In particular, your general existence seems to have a lot in common with autistic people. Or, rather… I am autistic, and a lot of your behaviors, mannerisms, speech patterns, movements, and general way of holding and carrying yourself look a LOT like mine. To an almost eerie extent, even.

…And… I know for sure… If I had spent a week straight not eating, sleeping, or hydrating in favor of reading wildly inaccurate books (this is called hyperfocus; it's an autism/ADHD thing)… I also would have taken everything I read at face value (literal interpretation of information and assuming by default that what's being said or written is true is another autism thing). If I had taken everything at face value… spent my life being used, abused, and exploited by people (we have that in common), been led to believe that humans are why there are no more people like me in the world, been led to believe that my mother (we know Jenova is not your mother) is being held captive somewhere and subject to cruel experiments… watching in despair as those who call themselves my "friends" witness me struggling without trying at all to help, looking at all of the people around me who are complicit in this kind of horror…

Sephiroth, if the old version of me had your phenomenal power, and was subject to your exact same circumstances, I… I don't think I would have been able to make a better choice than the one you made. I don't like the choice you made. It was terrible and inexcusable, and I'm sure you regret it very much at this point. But I still don't think I would have been able to choose differently than you. I would have been too angry, too full of despair, too emotionally unstable from being starved, dehydrated, and sleep deprived to control my thoughts and impulses… we are all at our worst when we are in states like that. And for a person who was taught that compassion is weakness, that violence is the answer, and that directly asking for help and support is not an option (we have this in common, too; I've since unlearned this nonsense), it's almost impossible to make kind, merciful, loving choices when we're at our worst. It's almost impossible to simply walk away.

…Truth be told though, I'm not 1000% convinced that the place wasn't already on fire before you walked out of the library. I saw what Shinra did to Banora, just because Genesis had gone over there. To get rid of anything that might make Shinra look bad, they firebombed the whole place, razing it to the ground, and killing everyone there, whether they were involved with the madness or not. It wouldn't surprise me at all if Shinra had decided to firebomb Nibelheim, just because they knew you were digging around in their secret archives. It wouldn't surprise me at all if you came out of the library either just before they finished or just after they finished, and it wouldn't surprise me at all if people saw you in the middle of the wreckage, assumed you did it, and then tried to attack you for it; I've got a couple memories of trying to clean up something my stepbrother broke, only to be discovered partway through, being accused of having been the one who did it, being accused of only trying to clean it up because I wanna try to hide what I did, my explanations and protests being taken as lies, and getting punished accordingly for it, while my stepbrother laughs in the background. Circumstances are different, but the mechanics are the same, if it was the case that Nibelheim was firebombed by Shinra.

You might be asking how any of this relates to my world. And the answer to that is simple:

People tend to assume the worst of intentions when it comes to anyone who is "othered" by society. Marginalized people catch flack for doing the same exact things that "normal" people do. When "normal" people scrounge food from an abandoned, wrecked store after a storm, it's called "finding resources". When black people do the same thing, it's called "looting". When "normal" people bring up a similar personal experience to show another person that they understand what they're saying, it's called "empathy". When autistic people do it, it's called "making it all about themselves". When a father brings home pizza for his children, it's called "being a fun dad". When a mother does the same thing, it's called "being a lazy parent who feeds their children junk food". I could list so many more examples, but the main point is this: if you are in any way different from what society at large considers "standard", people will tend to interpret everything you do as either hostile, manipulative, lazy, or some variation thereof, no matter what your actual intentions are. And then when you try to explain your intentions, people will think, "you doth protest too much" and dismiss your explanations as "excuses" or outright lies.

And you are very different from that which is considered "standard". You're very tall. You seem to have hypomelanosis. Your long hair removes you from presenting as "traditionally masculine". You're intellectually gifted. You're very physically and magically capable. You present as someone who is very much not allistic. You're a survivor of horrific abuse. You were raised as an orphan. With these and so many more things, you stand out.

So then, of course nobody pays attention to the fact that you don't judge what people are capable of by their sex/gender or age; they paint that as "ruthless" instead of as "unprejudiced". Of course when you encourage Angeal and Genesis to take the title of "hero" from you by besting you in a friendly sparring match, they accuse you of being arrogant. Of course when you act shy and socially awkward, people instead interpret "aloof and cold" (we very much have this thing in common). Of course when you demonstrate how amazingly capable you are, people aren't going to see someone who is trying his best to help; they're going to instead see a showoff who is full of himself (we have this in common, too). People overlook the fact that without hesitation, you offered yourself for Genesis's transfusion. They overlook the smile on your face and the love in your eyes as you recount some of your memories to Zack. When you're a human that is classified as "other", your goodness, no matter how large it is, gets overlooked in favor of focusing like a laser on your flaws, no matter how microscopic they may be.

And the opposite holds true as well - If you're "normal", your flaws get minimized while your good aspects get magnified. It's why people love Rufus Shinra and the Turks, despite the fact that they are responsible for FAR more deaths than you, either directly or indirectly, and even though they threw some ACTUAL HUMAN TRAFFICKING (we saw this in Before Crisis) into the mix, just for funsies. Somehow, even though you did your things to try to build a world in which no one else should have to suffer in the same way you did, and they did their things solely for the sake of profits and for maintaining an economic chokehold on your planet, they do not see Rufus or the Turks as evil. Even though the siphoning of Mako would kill the planet just as surely as Meteor, they still don't see Shinra and the Turks as evil. Or if they do, it's not nearly to the same extent that they see you as such. And this would baffle me, if not for the fact that these people are wealthy (in Rufus's case anyhow), allistic-presenting, possessing of a "normal" skin tone, and looking far more "traditionally masculine" than you do. It's very frustrating.

I understand the mechanics of why people get "othered", and I understand the mechanics of why people think it's okay to be harsh and cruel and dehumanizing to "othered" people. But I don't have the energy right now to articulate these things. Maybe I'll get into it in some other letter to you, but for now, I'd end up writing a book (I might have basically turned today's letter into a book by accident anyhow…), and I'm a bit too tired for that.

So, suffice to say: I know why people are so mean. I really, truly do. But at the same time… why in hell are people so goddamn mean all the fucking time??? Why does "I wanna tttyfck Tifa's bewbs" get all the loves and supports and likes, but "Let's wish for good things upon everybody" gets indifference, derision, or hate??? How does that even work???

I'm tired and I want to go home. I'm tired of the trope that is, "abuse survivors are ticking time bombs, liable to snap anytime without reason or warning". I'm tired of the trope that is, "some people are damaged beyond repair, so it's foolish to even bother trying to help them". I'm tired of the trope that is, "autistic people are evil, emotionless robots devoid of empathy". I'm tired of the trope that is, "people who make mistakes deserve punishment and death". If they write your story a second time in a way that ends with you being slaughtered again, it will simply reinforce these tropes, and reinforce broader cultural trends that influence how people like me get treated in this world.

And… I'm tired of being laughed at for wishing compassion and mercy upon other people. I'm tired of screaming love into the void only to receive indifference, revulsion, and derision from others. I'm tired of my kindness being viewed with suspicion and mistrust. I am tired of being branded as insincere, dishonest, or "too-good-to-be-true". I'm tired of all the subtle and not-so-subtle ways that this world and most of the people in it tell me that I don't belong and that I'm not wanted and that I should just disappear so that nobody has to deal with me anymore. I'm tired of all the ways that people seem to enjoy hurting me and others, meanwhile I'm always supposed to be the bigger person and neither fight back, nor give tit for tat. I'm tired of, "we can fix this" being met with doubt, cynicism, and churlishness - part of the reason we can't seem to do anything about the looming climate crisis and the endless wars and the continued oppression of "non-standard" people is that nobody wants to listen to the people who know how to fix these problems. And from this… I'm tired of seeing my friends and my loved ones struggle and get hurt while trying to live in a world that is actively hostile to most living things. I try really hard to keep my chin up and be good all the time because I've lived through horror and know how I don't want to be, but… I'm still only human.

That being said… as much as I wish I could disappear, as much as I wish, every night before I go to bed, that something will happen in my sleep that makes it so that I don't wake up again in the morning, I'm still not done here yet. I don't know exactly what I'm supposed to do while I'm here - even when people do ask me for help, they tend not to listen to anything I say because I do not live in the kind of body that most people are willing to take seriously (because I am "othered" in a variety of ways), and when I do kind things, people generally wonder what my ulterior motives are (spoiler alert: I have none). My hands and my voice feel bound almost all the time. And so I kind of just wander around, aimlessly and directionless, wondering what my existence is even supposed to be for. But I do know that I've not yet met all the people who I will make smile. I have not yet met all of the starfish that I must try to toss back into the sea, like the boy who walks along the shore in that one story. I have not met all of those people who, seeing me dried and stranded on the shore, will try to pick me up and toss me back into the sea.

I can't succumb to the pull of the quicksand yet, tempting as that thought sometimes is. So when I get like this, the only thing I know to do is to try to reach out to someone else who might understand and know what to do. I try to hydrate. I try to eat. I try to rest. When things seem hopeless, tending to myself and trying to connect with the safe people around me sometimes helps. When things seem hopeless, sometimes I write to you, even though I know you will probably never see any of this.

There are far fewer safe people in the world than there are borderline (or outright) violent ones. But still, safe people are everywhere if you keep an eye out for them. I just gotta try to focus on that knowledge. After all, the Horse from the story about the Boy and all his animal friends has very good advice: "When the big things feel out of control, focus on what you love, right under your nose."

I'm scared for you. Scared for me. Scared for the people I love. Scared for my world at large. There are just so many things going on. But I'll keep going; what other choice have I got? I can't go around leaving Lumine-shaped holes in the hearts and souls of the people who care about me by exiting this place prematurely, right?

You can't go around leaving Sephiroth-shaped holes in the hearts and souls of the people who love you, either, got it? Promise me. Please.

I already had an epic sandwich today, but maybe I'll get me some mac-and-cheese, too. Mac-and-cheese fixes most things, at least temporarily. I hope someday that you'll be able to sit someplace comfortable and eat a warm, delicious bowl full of mac-and cheese; it's good for the soul, even if it's bad for your arteries, hahaha!

I'll write again soon.

Your friend, Lumine

8 notes · View notes