#but i never want being aromantic to be like. an easy way to write off a character who 'gets in the way'

[moe-broey]

Brain still soup but like. I think making one or both (or more!) characters involved in relationships with each other aromantic makes the dynamic soooooo much more compelling. Because if you remove romance as a motivator, you really get down to the nitty-gritty as to WHY that character is seeking out/involved in those relationships in the first place. Whether that relationship involves romantic factors or is more of a queer platonic thing. Much to think about....

[thekeeperof-thefandoms]

Hi, could i request Alastor x reader where one of them does something nice/gives something to the other not realizing that in their culture it's equivalent of courting/proposing? And since the other is in love with them, they don't mention the connotations and it takes someone else to point it out for them to realize? :)

Going to be honest, I wasn't sure how to write this one, since I'm white and to my knowledge Alastor's a Creole man from 1930s, so I wasn't sure what from either of those cultures could be mistaken for a proposal. After doing some research I'm going to tweak this ask a bit, simply because I am not entirely comfortable representing other cultures that I am not a part of and only have a few hours worth of google research knowledge of. I'm sorry if that's not what you wanted. If you or anyone has more specific traditions to use as examples, I'd be happy to try and expand on the idea.

(Or reinterpret this as like, flower language, gift giving symbolism by pagan standards, or crow language. Which not gonna liez my ADHD ass really wants to write a crow sinner giving them weird random stuff they find that they think the others would like.)

Anyway, I'm going to do things you'd do for each other that make you both wanna get married. Hope that's ok!

Alastor

It's not so much a single thing you do, but more like there is a single moment where he realizes he wants to marry you. And to be clear, his idea of marriage is going to be based off of what he grew up with and his own personal level of comfort with romance and intimacy (remember folks, aromantics have a spectrum as well and can get married and have perfectly happy, functional, healthy relationships and marriages).

It's probably not even a big grand gesture or anything. It's more likely something domestic and really sweet. Like it's post the finale fight with Adam, and he already knows he's getting attached because he let you help him get patched up. He lets you in his room, his space, and being touched by you is as easy and comfortable as it is with Rosie and Niffty, who have pretty much a free pass whenever.

Yet you're still always so respectful of his boundaries, of giving him subtle ways to avoid or redirect your touch if he's not feeling up to it. You never push, chosing to take what levels of affection he's willing to express but always letting him know you love him, and this last small thing is the thing that makes it click in his brain.

You bring him his coat, newly patched, cleaned of any trace of blood. The stitching is a little sloppy, crooked, and the fabric isn't lined up as well as it used to be, but you tried. He can see the effort and knows you spent hours holed up in your room after patching him up.

"I know it's not perfect, but it'll hold until you feel well enough to visit your tailor again." You say timidly, as if you expected rejection or critique. And while criticism wouldn't be unwarranted, he's just too emotional to say anything. His smile is gentle, a little wobbly, and he reaches out and brushes the coat aside to grab hold of you and pull you into a hug.

You're just so sweet and considerate, you understand him. He's not going to change, he doesn't want redemption, he thrives off the bloodshed and chaos of hell, but at the same time he's still just a man. And he wants you to be by his side for eternity, if he you want that too. He's never thought of marriage before but now...now he can't stop. He wants to have that with you. Domestic life, something to come home to.

He won't say anything right away, he wants his proposal to be perfect. He's going to have Rosie help him plan this every step of the way, but regardless, one day, you will be his partner.

As for what your moment with Alastor is, I think it entirely depends on what you value most in a partner. However, a general consensus I've seen in most of the fanfics and tumblr posts is the idea of Alastor showing us a softer side.

Not just showing us that he's more than a serial killer and cannibal with his own sense of morality. More than just feeling comfortable enough to let us initiate touch, hut genuinely letting us see past the Radio Demon persona.

Maybe it's by cooking for us and talking about how he learned the recipe from his Mama, which leads into him slowly opening up about her, how much he adored her. What she meant to him.

Maybe it's him and you at the bar in the hotel or in his room, sipping drinks, his jacket off, sleeves rolles up. Letting himself be casual and in a compromised state around you. Maybe he'll even take your hand and spin you across the dance floor like he used to with Mimzy. He doesn't even care if you're not that good, he can teach you, practice makes perfect, he just has fun with you.

Maybe it's a moment where he let's you touch him. Or seeks you out for help because he knows you won't say anything. Or if he humors you and flirts back when you tease him. Or let's say he has a tail and he doesn't snap your head off for accidentally touching it as you go by. Or he agrees to watch a movie with you or listen to a podcast despite how he feels about technology.

Maybe it's just a quiet night, sitting next to each other, each reading a book, his radio playing softly for background noise, and you look up to him to ask a question or say something and he's already watching you, a small, adoring smile on his face.

Take your pick of which one is the moment where your heart stops, your breath catches, and you realize that you wanna marry this man.

And then your delulu ass wakes up, lol.

Decide for yourself if you'd go through with a proposal or if you just accept how things are.

[vanderwoodlings]

how do you kill a feeling: a blair/dan playlist (x)

Tracklist and commentary under the cut:

This is also entirely country music, because, uh… I wanted to? And at least one person (hi Liz) seemed into the idea? Generally when it comes to GG, we skew more towards pop than anything else, so it was a fun experiment!

1. “Easy Silence,” The Chicks. And I come to find a refuge in the/Easy silence that you make for me/It’s okay when there’s nothing more to say to me

2. “Walkin’ After Midnight,” Patsy Cline. [dan voice] I’ve been walking around the city all night with one paralyzing, all-consuming thought

3. “Found It In You,” Tiera Kennedy. The confidence to know that I can be happy/Just ‘cause you tell me that you got me.

4. “Friends Don’t,” Maddie & Tae. [Insert obligatory aromantic disclaimer that Friends Do, Thanks, here.] That aside, this is just… so stupid best friends in pining denial dair-coded

5. “I Try to Think About Elvis,” Patty Loveless. When you’re ass backwards crushing on Blair Waldorf and you would like to not be, please

6. “Hey, Good Lookin’,” Hank Williams. This one was one that just clicked as a dair song at random somewhere—something about the I’m gonna throw my date book over the fence bit especially—and sparked this playlist into being

7. “Lay It On Me,” Mickey Guyton. I want the truth and all your lies/I want your perfectly imperfect

8. “I’ll Be,” Reba McEntire. And mayhaps Dan has a white knight complex. I’ll be the rock that will be strong for you/The one that will hold on to you

9. “Marigold,” Paisley Fields. Marigold, bold and bright/Marigold, through spring and summer/You brighten up my night, marigold

10. “After I Fall,” Lee Ann Womack. And mayhaps Blair is a bit traumatized. After I fall, where do I stand/After my heart is in your hands/And you’ve got it all

11. “cowboy take me away,” Brittney Spencer. This one is in the Vibe—because God knows neither of them want to get out of the city and get dirt on their hands—it’s more something wild and unruly

12. “I Can’t Help It (If I’m Still in Love with You),” Johnny Cash. Dan pining moments

13. “This Kiss,” Faith Hill. I always love story imagery with Blair, so of course we’ve got Cinderella said to Snow White/“How does love get so off course/Oh, all I wanted was a white knight/With a good heart/Soft touch, fast horse.”

14. “Wrecking Ball,” Emmylou Harris. This song’s got the narrator offering a first date if the other person is in, in spite of the lack of privacy she’s got/the things the other person might know, which is very Gossip Girl, but there’s also something about the Meet me at the wrecking ball (wrecking ball)/I’ll wear something pretty and white that feels very Blair

15. “Death Of Me,” Reyna Roberts. Took this barely beating heart and brought it back to life/But this love might be the death of me.

16. “Starting Over,” Chris Stapleton. Gotta give them something good. And, honey, for once in our life/Let’s take our chances and roll the dice

17. “Grow Old with Me,” Sunny Sweeney. They all said we’d never fit so well together/Grow old with me, I’ll keep you young forever

18. “Jolene,” Dolly Parton. I’ve used this as a Blair’s Serena complex song before, way back on the blairena playlist and uh… I was right ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯

19. “Milwaukee,” Wyatt Flores. Okay, yeah, wrong city, but—You can hate my eyes for watching you leave/You can hate my should have chased you down feet/…/Please don’t hate my heart

20. “What Brings Life Also Kills,” Kolton Moore & the Clever Few. Dear, I’m writing this for you/As I contemplate tomorrow/Why did it end so soon?

21. “Buddy,” Willie Nelson. S6 dangina hours!!!!

22. “Why’d You Come in Here Lookin’ Like That,” Dolly Parton. Exists in the theoretical Dan slut era of my dreams. He’s out slow dancing with every girl around/I’m a soft-hearted woman, he’s a hardheaded man/And he’s gonna make me feel just as bad as he can

23. “Foolin’ Ourselves,” Evan Honer. Welcome to the dairfair! We get a little chronologically blurry here for the sake of the Sound being right, but I trust y’all to follow along

24. “On the Other Hand,” Randy Travis. On one hand, I could stay and be your lovin’ man/But the reason I must go is on the other hand.

25. “Summertime,” Orville Peck. You and I/Bide our time/And I miss summertime

26. “Satin Sheets,” Tammy Wynette. If Serena gets “Jolene” (or even, sort of, the pseudo-honorable “On the Other Hand”), Chip gets this. Blair canonically sings Wynette’s “Stand By Your Man” about him (which really fucks me up), so I knew she had to be on here somewhere, but I wasn’t expecting something quite so suitable to jump right out. But your money can’t hold me tight/Like he does on a long, long night

27. “Your Someone,” May Erlewine. I thought that I was stronger/I willed myself to be/But love can be so tender/I feel a tenderness in me

28. “To June This Morning,” Ruston Kelly, Kacey Musgraves.

29. “Love is Alive,” The Judds. Love is a man and he’s mine/Love is alive/And at our breakfast table

30. “Love Is A Wild Thing,” Kacey Musgraves. There’s no way to stop it, so don’t try to

[crabs-with-sticks]

Gotta Infodump About The Lady Trent Series

So I finished reading the Lady Trent series by Marie Brennan (first book is A Natural History of Dragons). And I just can't get this series out of my head, theres just so many really fantastic elements about it.

Basically there series follows Isabella Hendemore throughout her life, as her written memoir (you find out about why she's called Lady Trent later). By the time she is writing it she's much older and super famous for her work. Its set in a Victorian-esq society and Isabella is minor gentry, and wants to become a dragon naturalist. However, as a woman she faces a ton of obstacles. The series chronicles her rise to fame and scholarship.

As a character, Isabella is Highly autistic/neurodivergent coded. And she does the most wild and reckless things in the name of science and I love her for it. OSHA would hate her. Like (spoiler) the woman jumps off a cliff in a makeshift and untested glider and thats not even the wildest case.

There will be some spoilers here btw, but I'll try to keep them light. But honestly, just go read the book (and then message me because I LOVE to yap about books)

One of the most enjoyable parts of this book was the relationship between Isabella and Thomas Wilker. Their relationship starts off thorny as Tom, a lower class man, resents Isabella and makes jabs at her gender, while Isabella, a woman, resents Tom and jabs at his working class status. And while they don't get along in the first book, as they grow and mature as people they become such close friends. They are constant collaborators in the scholarship of the other, they support each other, they are angry about how the other is looked down upon by other scholars for being woman/working class. And there's never ANY sense of romance between the two, but the relationship is I would say the most influential in the series. Moreso even than Isabella's romantic partners and even her son. And like, Tom never has any romantic relationships (not even as an aside like 'and Tom got married and it was a lovely ceremony'), but there is still never any expectation that they would get together because man+woman=romance?? Also I'm claiming Tom and Natalie (she's another character in the series) for the aromantic community fyi.

Theres a certain moment in the last book (SPOILERS btw) where Isabella reunites with Tom and her husband Suheil, and guys. I got a bit teary when I read her and Tom reuniting. To me it was more meaningful even than her relationship with her husband. How her and Tom always had each others backs and never give up on each other. (and don't even get me started on the very last chapter of the series that was just fully teary)

And as well as just being a great relationship, its such a great example of intersectionality in academia and scholarship. Both Tom and Isabella are underdogs for different reasons. So Isabella as gentry is allowed to be granted a peerage, while Tom would never be allowed. But then Tom is granted access to academic institutions which can let in the right type of lower class man, but never a woman. And just! The way that they get so mad on the other's behalf! And (after the first book at least) they don't hold it against the other! Like when Tom is accepted into academic institutions Isabella is really happy for him even though its a space she's rejected from. Because they both understand that their struggles present differently.

I also think its great that Isabella isn't presented as an overly nurturing person or an amazing parent. A lot of times when you get a female character in stem writers will make sure that they're still 'womanly enough', by being nurturing and good mothers and stuff. But that stuff never comes easy to Isabella! But she's never judged by the narrative for it and is able to explain her decisions instead of just feeling bad about it. And the people close to her, and the people that matter also don't judge her for it! But also! Even though it doesn't come naturally she is still able to interact with her son and encourage him and his interests and its still a really interesting and great relationship!

JUST THIS BOOK SERIES OKAY

Every time though she would talk about her scientific discoveries and said 'oh but you readers won't be interested in the exact science and if you are just go read my published articles'. LIKE NO I CAN'T! TELL ME ABOUT THE DRAGON BIOLOGY ISABELLA! TELL ME ABOUT THE MINUTIA OF THEIR EVOLUTION! BECAUSE I CAN'T READ YOUR ARTICLES CAUSE THEY DON'T EXIST IRL

[dross-the-fish]

Started hanging out with some new friends in a Discord server on days when work from home is slow but I'm not able to leave my desk to draw or write, and I'm honestly surprised by how good of a time I've been having, how at ease I feel. This is the first friend group I've had where most of, if not all of, the people in it are queer in ways that are similar to myself, and not just cisgendered gay or bisexual people, but people who are also non-binary/genderfluid and on the aro/ace spectrum. After a lifetime of being friends with people who were mostly straight or gay and almost all of them cis except for maybe the odd binary-transperson all of whom are allosexual. It also made me realize that I've been walling myself off from most of my old high school friends for the duration of our relationship and haven't even noticed it. I always tend to sit and let little comments slide because I don't want to get into a debate or call too much attention to aspects of myself I'm still figuring out. Dealing with behaviors that were vaguely phobic and excusing them as my friends just "not knowing better," because they seemed well intended otherwise and nothing said was overt. Feeling like before I presented ace characters to them that I needed to have some justification and explanation at the ready and brace myself for people to try and tell me that "well this character can still have sex right?" or "What's the point of making x aromantic?" because they were allosexual and alloromantic and couldn't enjoy characters that weren't "available" in that way. Debates about whether asexuality should even be part of the LGBTQ spectrum weren't common, but they happened. Being made to feel like not being attracted to my partner was unfair to my partner because "everyone deserves to feel attractive to the people who love them." "A stands for Allies" is a thing that came out of one friend's mouth. "Non-binary is trans-lite," is another. "I could never love someone I wasn't attracted to, it must suck so bad to have that part of you missing." When I eventually came out as gender fluid, they seemed accepting but never bothered to use masc pronouns because I still accept fem ones. So they just felt free to ignore my gender all together and one of them even slipped and tried to correct someone who called me "sir" because it was that easy for her to forget, even with me standing right there in a chest binder and men's clothing.

There was always been an element of being ready to defend myself, of weighing my words before I spoke them and agonizing over whether I'd have to hear empty platitudes, excuses of people just "not being used to it" and an obvious, palpable discomfort that no one was willing to unlearn, that would be left for me to bear and to feel like I was at fault for creating by simply existing. And I never noticed it because it was so prevalent and it was still preferable to the blatant hostility most of the conservative population around here has for the LGBTQ community. I can talk to these people about every other thing under the sun, call them when I'm in trouble and they'll help me and turn to them for advice and support in every other area...but the little things still matter. Even when I told myself they didn't. Being around people and feeling like I can be unguarded is such a bizarre feeling that I'm almost afraid of it. Hearing one person talk about how an aromatic character I write isn't broken and wanting strongly for that character to be told that by somebody made me want to cry. Being asked if I would prefer couple art to be sfw vs nsfw because the asexuality of one character was taken into consideration actually felt like a big deal because NO ONE HAS EVER DONE THAT BEFORE. I didn't know these things mattered so much until they happened and now I feel I'm at a crossroads and debating if I should make the effort to advocate more for myself among some of my old friends. Acceptance matters, community matters. I always knew this intellectually but it's a whole different level now that I've experienced it. I've learned that it matters to me.

[angelmichelangelo]

so i just want to talk about the whole donnie and april thing from the 2012 series since i have a lot of thoughts on them both and need somewhere to just. get it out my system.

so off the bat im gonna say i’m pretty neutral about the april/donnie ship. i.. don’t really care for it but if it’s there it’s not gonna overly bother me. i’m pretty much on the fence for most things tmnt ship related (though, big exception for woodyangelo just cus. lol) that being said i do have some thoughts about how it was handled in the 2012 show.

as most people might agree, the writing for these two wasn’t great. i think, just in my humble opinion, that the writers kinda ping ponged back and forth depending on fandom criticism of the ship. one minute the relationship seemed to be slowly developing, a nice easy slow burn and then it’d take a sharp turn and it was back to a lot of uncomfortable pining and uncertainty as to where they would both end up. i think the writers wanted to appease both ends of the fandom here by making it somewhat ambiguous but it kinda blew up in their faces. big time.

so then you have the people who put all the blame on april for this. “she’s leading donnie on!” “she’s playing with both donnie and casey!” “she just wants the attention!” and, yeah. maybe. but here’s my defence: (bad writing aside for a moment, let’s pretend that all of this was done on purpose) april doesn’t know what she wants. when we meet april in the show it’s evident that she’s a little dorky and uncool and she doesn’t have ANY friends. she has irma but it seems to be one of those friendships built out of pure convenience. “oh you don’t have friends, i don’t have friends. cool. let’s hang out.” in every scene they have together it’s awkward and weird because they don’t really seem to click. april has like, as little social skills as the turtles. she doesn’t have friends let alone have TWO guys show her any appreciation and affection. how is she supposed to know how to deal with all that? she’s a teenage girl, feelings are complicated.

and some people might blame donnie. “he kept persisting even when she gave clear hints” “he was being a weirdo about it” “he made her uncomfortable” donnie is a teenage boy who happens to be a mutant. a mutant that lives underground and had never even MET a girl until they saved april. donnie’s only point of reference for romance is what he’s most likely seen on tv or in books. it’s that really cheesy affectionate stuff that might work in movies, but in real life is just strange. donnie has even less social skills that april. he’s only ever had his brothers and dad to talk to. he doesn’t know how to communicate his feelings properly because up until he met april, he probably never even knew what it was to have a crush on somebody

my headcanon for these two is that donnie is clearly autistic. he’s very overly empathetic towards april but can’t understand why his efforts aren’t paying off like he thinks they will. i think april being a young teenage girl with a lot on her plate, might not recognise why donnie is acting this way. ive seen a lot of people also headcanon that april is aromantic which i totally 100% love and agree with. i don’t think she recognises this in the way donnie recognises his own autism. it causes them to clash, and neither of them really understand why that is, and can’t quite communicate it to the other until they’ve figured themselves out.

a lot of people say that 2012 ruined the donnie and april friendship that was pretty strong throughout the franchise but honestly, even the 2003 show had pepperings of donnie’s slight crush on april, even back then. it’s not as obvious but it was definitely there. obviously it never got brought up, which imo is a little heartbreaking to think of poor don harbouring these secret feelings for his friend and then having to just. get over it when she marries casey but i think their friendship is still pretty special to them both that it eventually stops becoming an issue for him.

2012 donnie was a social wreck. he had no clue what he was doing and i think the writers could have done waaaay better in making that less of a fault and more of just. idk. just something that made people hate him a little less. it’s in the same vein as mikey’s adhd. i think the writing was a product of its time and that’s why mutant mayhem tackles those issues way way better than 2012 ever did.

it could also be said that donnie and april don’t even really have a lot in common, like some iterations. she’s smart but she’s not a scientist, and donnie’s crush is first of all born out of just physical looks, meaning that maybe donnie just happened to latch onto her because he felt a teeny glimpse of normality (“i could love a girl and she could love me back”) and kinda just held onto that. any of the other girls in the show, donnie doesn’t really draw himself towards but that’s because the other girls are mostly his brothers love interests and donnie is a firm believing in sticking to the bro code lmao (although maybe just from mikey’s perspective, but donnie does seem quite friendly with renet but that might have just been a 2003 callback perhaps, but they have more in common than her and mikey do)

all in all, the donnie/april thing could have been handled way better, especially with casey thrown into the mix. but is there one person solely responsible for the way their relationship played out? absolutely not. they both crossed some boundaries and both made some mistakes that backfired but like i said, they are far from perfect and looking back on their arc together, it’s a little heartbreaking to see how.. unsure they both are, of themselves and of each other. but that’s just my two cent on the whole thing.

i don’t think female characters were the 2012 writers strong point sadly and april suffered as a result but i genuinely think in her good moments, she shines. and donnie isn’t a creep, he’s just a good kid that wants to find his own happiness, even if he looks in the wrong places, both their intentions are good, i believe.

okay rant over sound off in the tags/replies what you think of the donnie/april dynamic in 2012 😎

[su11yoon]

a queerplatonic relationship with na jaemin !!

“Queerplatonic relationships and queerplatonic partnerships are committed intimate relationships which are not romantic in nature. They may differ from usual close friendships by having more explicit commitment, validation, status, structure, and norms, similar to a conventional romantic relationship.” Wikipedia

contents: lowercase intentional, gender neutral reader, self indulgent, headcanons, queerplatonic relationship/partnership with jaemin, aromantic character(s), friends to friends who hold hands and kiss, not beta read

a/n: i’m writing this after realizing i want this with one of my friends haha

⋆ you had been looking for a roommate and through mutual friends met jaemin who had been needing a place to live

⋆ he moves into your apartment and at first you were nervous you wouldn’t get along, but the two of you hit it off pretty well

⋆ you had the same interests and jaemin just seems like he would be so easy to talk to

⋆ now jaemin is very affectionate, so hugs and words of appreciation are abundant once you get closer

⋆ it first starts off with side hugs and compliments but then it turns into asking to hold your hand while out in public and cuddling together while catching movies

⋆ you’re very comfortable around jaemin and he’s very comfortable around you

⋆ one of your friends asks you about all the touching and you simply brush it off

⋆ because it’s just so nice and awesome and sweet :)

⋆ your friend doesn’t really get it and just kind of. assumes you have a crush on him

⋆ but you don’t, and you know you don’t

⋆ but what if jaemin does like you?

⋆ it wouldn’t be jaemin’s fault if he did have a crush on you, but the thought kind of makes you feel uncomfortable

⋆ it’s odd being viewed in a romantic light and you’re not sure you like it the thought of it

⋆ jaemin notices the lack of affection from you and while he does miss your little cheek kisses and good night hugs he doesn’t wanna say anything and make you uncomfortable :(

⋆ after seeing how jaemin steps back from your friendship you begin to feel guilty because you know he’s probably overthinking it

⋆ you decide to be a responsible and reasonable roommate and have a talk about what’s been going on and why you’ve been kind of off

⋆ you tell jaemin you really enjoy the way you two act, but you don’t think you would ever want a romantic relationship

⋆ you would have hated for him to get the wrong idea from your actions

⋆ jaemin only smiles because :) he also really enjoys how you two function and he’s perfectly fine with never involving romance into your relationship

⋆ phew

⋆ what a relief

⋆ you aren’t dating, but you’re also not, not dating

⋆ you’re more than friends but less than lovers

⋆ it’s a little hard for others to understand but it makes perfect sense to you two

⋆ you hold hands, and you kiss, and you share the same bed, and you say i love you all without any sort of romance in your relationship

⋆ jaemin’s favorite part of the day is when he gets to wrap both of his arms around you and squeeze as tight as he can

⋆ and then he gives you a little smooch on the cheek or wherever he feels like

⋆ and then the two of interlock your fingers whenever you’re out and about <3

⋆ and you force out awkward thank yous whenever someone compliments you on how cute your boyfriend is

⋆ but then at night when it’s time for bed you and jaemin lay next to each other and whisper jokes to each other and try not laugh too loud and it’s like you’re having a sleepover every day

⋆ and it doesn’t really make sense to most people, but it makes sense to you and that’s all that matters

©️su11yoon 2023, please do not translate or repost this anywhere else

[skellebonez]

A Matter of Affection (A Gen LMK Oneshot)

I have a lot of feelings about AroAce MK and Sun Wukong. So, naturally, I HAD to write my own little oneshot of MK realizing he is now a celebrity and that comes with the side effect of... suitors. That he does not want. I am not aromantic, but I am asexual and have talked to enough aromantic people to know there is a lot of overlap between our experiences. So I did my best to convey this through MK and everyone else.

Hope you enjoy this!

(Note: DragonFruit, FreeNoodles, and IronBull are mentioned in passing. Written BEFORE Season 4 came out.)

AO3 Link.

Ok, MK, you can do this… You just have to ask him… ask your mentor for some advice, this is totally fine and not awkward at all. Asking for advice is completely normal. This isn’t awkward. Just. Ask… for advice…’

He was lying to himself, he knew it.

How could this not be awkward?

MK had never asked anyone, let alone Sun Wukong, for help with something like this before. He wanted to ask Mei, she was the only one who knew… well, everything about him at this point, but she was live streaming and he didn’t want to interrupt her while she was having fun just to ask for some advice. Even IF she would gladly pause the stream for his comfort once she realized he was being serious.

So, instead, he found himself flying over in bird form to Mount Huaguo so he could pay his mentor a visit. He’d been doing this just about every day he had free time (and wasn’t due for training) just to say hello, make sure the king wasn’t lonely and to bond more after everything that had happened over the last year. Things seemed to have finally smoothed out into some kind of new normal for everyone.

MK claimed the visit was to deliver Sun Wukong a free “canceled” order of noodles that was close to what he normally ordered, which was not entirely a lie. But he normally would have just eaten it himself or given it to Tang. So in reality it was just an excuse.

But in his attempt to psych himself up to ask for advice he managed to almost psych himself out.

This should be easy! The Monkey King and him were as close as they had ever been as mentor and student (to the point some people, Mei and Sandy namely, said they came off as family). And given who the Monkey King was he MUST have had to deal with similar awkward situations in the past.

So…

“Hey, uh, Monkey King?”

“Yeah bud?”

“Have you ever had someone confess they liked you before?”

Sun Wukong turned to look at his student, an almost disappointed look on his face.

“MK. Bud. I’m Sun Wukong. I’ll give you two guesses and the other one doesn’t count.”

“That many huh?”

“It was CONSTANT,” Sun Wukong said with a laugh. “I mean, I get it. How can I not attract so many admirers when I am…” The monkey king stood, smirking as he struck a pose worthy of any popular C-Drama poster. “Sun Wukong, the Handsome Monkey King, Great Sage Equal to Hea-”

“Did you ever accept?” MK interrupted, immediately cringing at the fact he did so.

“Absolutely not,” Sun Wukong said with a shrug, seemingly not bothered by the interruption. “Even if I ever wanted a partner like that? I was way too busy. Journeys to journey on, monks to keep from being eaten alive, you know the story.”

“You never wanted a partner?” MK’s brow raised as he tried to remember all the stories about the immortal he had heard in the past. “Never?”

“Well… hmn” Sun Wukong trailed off, seeming to drop deep into thought as he rubbed his chin and looked into the distance. MK assumed he was trying to find the best words to use for his explanation. “How do I put it… Not never as in never wanting to have a companion. I loved being around people! And I loved some people, just not in the way other people seemed to have loved me. I wouldn’t mind having a life partner who’s cool with hugs and cuddles and spending all our time together without any of the other stuff! I don’t hate thinking about, like… kissing someone? Unless it’s on the cheek or something I’d rather just avoid that if I can, but if it makes my partner happy I think I would be ok with only that. That make sense?”

There was the softest kind of half joking grimace on the Monkey King’s face when he mentioned kissing, the same kind that MK had seen on his own face in the mirror. And then it clicked.

“Oh… my gosh…” MK said, eyes widening in realization. “Is this really going to be how I find out we’re both aroace? SERIOUSLY!?”

“Arrow what now?” 

“You don’t have any interest in being with anyone romantically?” MK asked, jumping to stand in front of his mentor. He almost bounced up and down in place, barely able to hold in his excitement. “At all? And never have?”

“No..?” Sun Wukong said slowly, reaching out to put a hand on MK’s head to hold him steady for a second. “Bud, answer my question pl-”

“Aromatic asexual,” MK blurted out, awkward and almost too fast.

It clearly took the king a second to process what he said, but once he did…

“THERE’S A NAME FOR IT!?”

“THAT’S WHAT I SAID!” MK replied to the king’s outburst with a laugh. He bounced harder, despite the hand on his head, in sheer excitement. “I’ve never actually met someone else in person who’s aro or ace or bot, only online! And-and it’s YOU of all people and- WAIT!”

MK held out his hands, taking the immortal’s hand off his head.

“That was a sudden change of tone,” Sun Wukong joked when he caught the serious look on his student’s face. “I’m gonna take a guess and ask if this aroace stuff is related to your initial question?”

“Yeah,” MK said, now feeling a bit more confident and comfortable in being able to ask for some advice. “There’s this girl who’s been coming to the shop over the last few weeks, almost every two days. I think she’s one of the civilians I rescued last month when that clan of beetle demons came to attack the city. And uh…”

“She asked you out, didn’t she?”

“YES!” MK said with a groan as he pulled at his hair. “And she’s super nice and really pretty and any guy or girl would probably be SUPER LUCKY to date her but! I don’t! LIKE PEOPLE IN THAT! WAY!”

“Breathe, MK,” Sun Wukong said, gently guiding his student to let his hair go. “What did you tell her?”

“I had to… think about it?”

“Oh boy…”

“I didn’t wanna tell her no immediately!” MK said, biting his lip now. “I felt… I dunno, pressured? Pigsy and Tang were watching me and…it was awkward.”

“Well, you have to tell her no somehow,” Sun Wukong said with a nod as he rubbed his chin. “You can’t leave her hanging, there’s bound to be some hero worship driving her to ask you out the way she did so quickly and that can be a tough thing to accidentally play into.”

“I know…” MK said. “But I don’t know how. And what about after that? Are MORE people going to ask me out?”

“Definitely, you’re a celebrity now,” Sun Wukong said, almost sounding apologetic.

“Aw man… what should I do?” MK asked as his mentor paced around him in a circle. “Just say ‘I don’t swing any way ever, I’d rather just have super close friends’ for the rest of my life? I’ve only had to say it like… twice and I’m already feeling burnt out!”

“You turned down two other people?”

“No,” MK said with a shake of his head. “I’ve told Mei I’m aroace and I had to tell the metal brothers so they would stop trying to set me up with Mei and Red.”

“Understood. Well, you don’t have to say it every time,” Sun Wukong said with a wave of his hand. “You could wear a hat with that on it.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Listen,” the monkey king said with a smile as he finally stopped in front of his student. “If you can handle the Lady Bone Demon you can handle telling a normal human you’re not interested in them. And if they give you any trouble, you have a whole family behind you to back you up… Even people who can pick up a building with their bare hands could use emotional support, or so Sandy keeps telling me.”

“... that means a lot, Monkey King,” MK said with a genuine smile. “But I… how do I tell her no if she asks me at work again? I don’t wanna be unprofessional and make Pigsy look bad.”

“Good point,” Sun Wukong said with a hum. “And my usual ‘no thanks’ and flying off wouldn’t really work when you’re trapped by societal convention… BUT! There’s someone else who may be able to help you since he also works in the service industry!”

“... wait, you don’t mean-”

~

“What do you want, Noodle Boy?”

“Aw, no hello to your second best pal?”

“HELLO, Noodle Boy,” Red Son said as he rolled his eyes. “What do you want? Answer quickly before I shut this-”

“How do I turn down a girl who asks me out on a date?”

The fiery demon stared blankly at him, blinking only when MK rushed into his house to get out of the fiery inferno around the Bull Family home and into some shade.

“I… someone asked you out on a date?” Red Son asked, raising one eyebrow in confusion. “You? Noodle Boy? The man who literally never noticed when people are flirting with him?”

“I don’t do that!” MK said, immediately pausing. “... have people been flirting with me? Really?”

“Constantly,” Red Son said as he shut the door and turned to face his unwanted guest. “I honestly don’t know how you never- WHY ARE YOU IN MY FACE?”

“Listen to me carefully,” MK said as he held Red Son’s face in his hands. “I trust you with this information because you’re my friend and Mei loves you. I am aroace. If love was pizza you could order? And platonic love was the toppings? I would be ordering none pizza with left beef every day of my life. So I wouldn’t know flirting if it bit me on the ass.”

“... oooooooooooooooh,” Red Son said with realization dawning on his face as he pushed the other’s hands away. “I see, you’re like the Monkey King. That changes nothing, really, barring the urgency you must be feeling.”

“You knew the Monkey King was aroace?”

“It wasn’t hard to piece together,” Red Son said with a shrug. “I should have guessed the same about you, given your obliviousness to the aforementioned flirting. And also how strongly you reacted when someone assumed you were dating Mei the other week during your last third wheeling session on our date.”

“And I am very sorry about that,” MK said honestly. “But I could still use some help.”

“And what do you want me to do about it?” Red Son asked with a frown. “If the Monkey King couldn’t help you in this area? I was the worst person for you to come to as a second choice. I wasn’t exactly waving suitors off with a baseball bat while working on my bots or helping my mother plan father’s return. Neither was flirtation the first on anyone’s mind when the New Year celebrations were in full swing with my father standing behind me and people coming back to complain my food was ‘too spicy’. And considering we live in the middle of nowhere I didn’t exactly have a lot of experience with random peasants flirting with me, you know.”

“There’s no way that’s possible when you look the way you do,” MK countered.

Red Son sputtered, looking at the other man in shock. “What’s that supposed to mean!?”

“I’m aroace, Red, not incapable of recognizing when someone is objectively hot… pun not intended.”

“I am just going to let that be a compliment and move on,” Red Son said, his face matching his name more and more the longer he spoke. “Anyway, Mei is the first person to ask me out in centuries. I genuinely have no idea how I would tell someone no because I haven’t had to since I was like… the demon age equivalent of 15. And I didn’t have a chance to because that guy was trying to steal from us and got pushed off the roof by one of my Bull Clones.”

“Going to overlook the admission of murder-”

“HE LIVED!”

“-and instead ask if you know anyone else who can help?” MK continued. “I’d ask Mei but, you know, streaming.”

“Hmmn… You could always ask my parents?” Red Son offered with a shrug. “From what they’ve mentioned in the past they were both quite popular with their own respective circles, father especially. They had to turn down more suitors than they could count so they would likely be your best bet for discussing a plan of action.”

“... I mean… I guess that makes sense?” MK mused for a moment. “You’re sure they’re not going to just… tell me to ‘crush them like the unworthy peon they know themselves to be’, right?”

“I make no promises.”

“Ah. Great… I don’t… I mean, I… Could we keep the aroace thing between us for now?”

Red Son looked at MK for a moment before sighing, resting a hand on the other’s shoulder.

“They’re my parents, Noodle Boy, you don’t have to tell them anything you don’t want them to know.”

“... thanks. I mean it.”

And he did.

~

DBK stared at MK.

MK stared at DBK.

"I… usually ran away," DBK admitted with an oddly embarrassed and soft tone.

"I don't know what answer I expected. But it wasn't that."

"I was a VERY shy calf, THIEF!"

MK had managed to avoid having to come out to literally everyone he talked to that day, but in exchange for having Red Son keep his secret for the short time being until he felt it necessary to tell the entire Bull Family (and there was no need in his mind, they could live without ever knowing this about him) he was now having one of the most awkward conversations of his entire 21 years of living.

And he thought asking the Monkey King was going to be awkward.

“It was quite adorable to see him literally running away from his suitors,” Princess Iron Fan said with a chuckle. “Maybe that’s why I gave him a chance when he finally worked up the courage to ask me. Even when he saw me literally blowing his competition away with my fan he still braved the chance to give me flowers and ask for one afternoon together.”

“Aw, that’s really sweet,” MK couldn’t help but say when he saw the wistful look Red’s mom wore when looking at her husband. Romance may have never been for him personally, but a good romantic story or seeing other people happy always managed to make him happy by proxy. “Unfortunately, I don’t think those are options for me.”

“Understandably so,” DBK said with a gruff nod. “You have both an image to upkeep as the simian’s successor AND as a duty to your boss.”

“Maybe Mei is done streaming…” MK muttered. “She’s had to tell so many people no, especially stream snipers, that she’ll probably know what to do.”

Princess Iron Fan chuckled at the mention of her son’s girlfriend.

"Frankly I'm quite amazed that Mei had to be the one to pursue my son, considering he is usually the one more prone to pining."

"MOTHER!"

"It runs in the family, dear."

"Not you too, father…"

“And I am going to head out before Red Son feels I know too much!” MK announced, turning to leave. “Thank you for the advice anyway, I appreciate it!”

"You know you could ask your dads for advice, right?" PIF said suddenly.

"...I forgot I could do that."

"How are we not dead?" DBK questioned under his breath. "He forgets so much."

“I THOUGHT YOU ALREADY ASKED THEM IF YOU CAME TO ME, NOODLE BOY!”

~

MK felt so… stupid.

He couldn’t believe that he never thought to just ask Pigsy and Tang. They were right there and all he would have to do was wait for the day to end. So… why?

Why not just ask his dads?

“MK!” Mei’s voice suddenly sounded as he slowly walked his way back through the city, pulling him from his thoughts. “I was just heading to get some dinner at Pigsy’s! I assume you’re heading in the same way?”

“Sort of?” MK answered with an awkward chuckle. “I’m kinda… taking my time in a walk of shame since I realized I just made my day a lot harder than it needed to be.”

“What do you mean?” Mei asked as she fell into step beside her friend.

“A girl I rescued asked me out on a date and I didn’t exactly tell her no or yes,” MK started, watching as Mei grimaced in sympathy. “So I asked Monkey King for some advice since, you know, he’s bound to have experience with fans and stuff asking him out. But he couldn’t help me with telling her no if she asks while I’m at work. Then he sent me to Red Son who also couldn’t give me advice so he sent me to his parents, who ALSO couldn’t give me advice because they either ran or literally tossed their confessors away from them and THEN PIF said I could have asked my dads and I realized she was right and I wasted basically my whole day running around for dating advice… and now the Monkey King and Red Son know about me being aroace too, that also happened.”

“Whoa, slow your roll,” Mei said, pulling MK to the side of the walkway so people could go around them. “You told Sun Wukong and Red you’re ace? One after the other?”

“Yeah,” MK said with a nod.

“OK, well,” Mei said with her own nod. “Considering you’re telling me and nothing else was mentioned I assume they both took it well! Which is good, glad for you, but… I also know your dads don’t know yet. Are you comfortable coming out three times in one day to four people?”

“It’s way less embarrassing than what I’m going to ask them,” MK said slowly. “And embarrassment is really what I’m worried about-”

“I’m not asking if it’s embarrassing,” Mei said slowly. She put a hand on MK’s shoulder. “I’m asking if you’re comfortable. You had a panic attack when you told ME. And I know they’re them and things are definitely going to be ok, but it’s a lot in one day dude. That’s… that’s a lot of coming out one after the other.”

MK paused, looking at Mei for a moment before smiling and taking her hand off his shoulder to just hold it for a second.

“I think I’ll be ok,” he said. “I’d appreciate some support, though? I think after LBD my anxiety meter is a little broken so I may be running on adrenaline right now.”

“You don’t even have to ask,” Mei said as she squeezed his hand. “We’re BBFs, Best Buds Forever. A little support is the least I can offer.”

“Thanks. Like I said though, I’m more worried about the embarrassment. Do you know how embarrassing it is to ask your parents for relationship advice?" MK asked with a deadpan tone. "Let alone dating advice from ones who don't know you have no interest in dating and you have to ask them about how to turn people DOWN?"

"Nope," Mei said. "I looked it all up online."

"I fear for what you may have read."

"I am eternally traumatized!" Mei said with a wide smile, her tone making MK chuckle despite the implications.

“... you’re a really good friend, you know that?”

“... I try to be.”

“Thanks. I mean it.”

And he meant it then too.

~

“I… I need to ask you guys something,” MK said almost immediately after they got to the noodle shop.

Maybe it was his tone, more tired and shaky than he meant for it to sound. He guessed some of the adrenaline had seeped away from him on his short walk back with Mei. Or maybe it was the fact it was such a slow day that Pigsy never even had to call him back and the shop was empty and quiet until the door opened for himself and Mei.

But something about the situation made his dads look at each other in concern.

“Sure, sit down,” Tang said, gesturing for MK to sit next to him. Mei sat down to his other side with no need for guidance.

"What’s up?” Pigsy said as he stopped what he was doping to stand in front of MK. When there was no reply he sighed, reaching out to put a hand on his shoulder. “You know you can talk to us about anything, right?" 

That softest smile that was reserved only for comforting family made MK feel like he really could be honest with his dads. He told everyone else by now so… why not them? He could totally do it.

"Well… I have… a bit of girl trouble?" MK started, holding up a hand before either of them could say anything else. “But it’s… I want to… turn her down?”

“That’s it?” Pigsy said with a raise of his brow. “Is this the same girl that asked you out yesterday?”

“Yeah…” MK said slowly. He felt Mei squeeze his hand in silent assurance. “It’s just… she’s pretty! But I have no idea who she is and… I don’t… I don’t… wanna date. I don’t wanna date anyone… ever?”

“MK,” Tang said, putting a hand on his shoulder. “MK, were you worried about telling us that?”

“Yeah?” He said quickly with a shrug. “I know, you always say you’ll love me no matter what, but… I mean… you two looked so excited at the idea of me dating someone that I felt I couldn’t say no to her. Plus, I didn’t wanna look like a jerk as the Monkie Kid or make Pigsy’s look bad because of me. I-”

“Whoa, hang on,” Pigsy said as he leaned over the counter. “Kid, MK, you’re not gonna make the shop look bad because you turned down someone who asked you out on the job. If anything, I’d make us look bad by chasing them out if they gave you any trouble for it.”

“Wait, you mean it?” MK said in awe as he stared at his dad. 

“Yup,” Pigsy said with a nod.

“We’re sorry if we made you feel pressured to say yeah by being excited,” Tang said, looking at Pigsy and waiting for his nod before continuing. “We just want you to be happy.”

“And what if never being with someone is what makes me happy?” MK asked. “What if I wanna just be with you guys and have friends I can hug and that’s it?”

“Then we’re happy if you’re happy,” Pigsy and Tang said at the same time, looking at each other in surprise before chuckling at the way they synced up.

“Oh thank HECK,” MK said, immediately slumping down onto the counter. “I was worried over nothing and now I’m exhausted.”

“Hey, you were worried about how they’d react and that’s understandable,” Mei said as she spoke up from his other side. “Like how I was with my parents.”

“And there’s no exhaustion that a nice bowl of Pigsy’s noodles can’t fix,” Pigsy said with a chuckle. “Come on. Tell us everything. It sounds like we have some revelations to go over because you’re… non-romantic?”

“Aromantic,” Tang corrected. “Hmn… maybe that explains why you have so much love to give to everyone else platonically.” 

His tone of voice told MK that was clearly a joke made in an attempt to lighten the mood. 

And it worked.

As awkward as it was, MK started to laugh.

“Well… it started when I saved her about a month ago.”

[idrellegames]

Not an ask. But thank you so much for the aspec representation in Wayfarer. It's so refreshing to see an alloaro character like Veyer that is canonically alloaro and isn't the character archetype that sleeps around a lot and you just hope that they are around but then they eventually gets "fixed" by love. Anyways thanks for being awesome.

I so very rarely see alloaro characters handled with respect in fiction since it's so easy to boil their traits down to "noncomittal person who sleeps around until the right person comes around and fixes them". It's the flip same of the same coin as romantic asexuals, where the character gets boiled down to "inexperienced person who has never had sex until the right person comes around and fixes them."

Sexual attraction and romantic attraction are so often tied together as a single experience. And it is this way for many people, but not for everyone. Just speaking generally as an ace person, my experience is that aromanticism and asexuality are more palatable for non-acespec folks when they're treated as something that goes hand in hand. But being aroace isn't the only way to be aromantic or asexual - there's a huge variety of way people experience attraction and calling treating romantic and sexual attraction as the same thing is a disservice to everyone (even for allosexuals whose sexual orientation may not match up with their romantic one!).

Within the context of storytelling - at least in western writing - there's a narrative demand to meet certain expectations otherwise the trajectory may fall flat and be seen as unfulfilling. A committed relationship that includes both romance and sex is typically the desired end goal with fictional relationships (look at any romantic comedy, even going back to Shakespeare - Shakespearen comedies always end with a wedding). You can also look to the prevalence of the OTP in fandom - there's a desire to see your favourite characters get together in a specific way and to have that relationship come to fruition. And it is quite fun! I don't mean this as a knock against it - I enjoy OTPs myself, I love romance in fiction so much. I love a satisfying romance arc. Most of my OCs for video games have relationships and its a focal part of their character development.

But this does mean that aromantic and asexual people often sit on the sidelines because they don't fit perfectly into that type of story structure. So it can be very difficult to include them. They blur the lines of the format. They make it a little messy. They don't match the expectation.

I think with aromantic characters, too, both writers and audiences don't know what to do with them. There's always this lingering sense of disappointment that romance is off the table, that their arc isn't going to culminate in a committed relationship. Even in the world of IF and gaming, we don't have terminology to classify aromantic characters who can have some kind of relationship with the player character because the terminology is Romance Option (RO) or Love Interest (LI). Wayfarer's character roster is evidence of how much of a stumbling block this is - Aeran and Veyer are included on it as "romances", even though they aren't in the traditional sense (Aeran falls into the "conditional" label, Veyer is in the "tryst" one, but neither of them are technically "romances" in the traditional sense).

As for Veyer themself, they aren't interested in romance. They are in their 60s, they've been around the block a few times, they know what they do and do not want. They know what their life is like and what they can and cannot commit to due to outside factors. They may be smitten with people they find interesting or intriguing, but romance or long-term commitment isn't a part of that.

This doesn't mean that they can't be compassionate or genuinely care about their partners or enjoy their company, they're just going about it in a different way.

[staringdownabarrel]

I'm glad they never gave Janeway a series-long love interest and instead just gave her Mark, stuck in the Alpha Quadrant, and the occasional love interest of the week who'd fuck off at the end of the episode. There's a couple of reasons for this.

Firstly, one of the reasons why Janeway works for me is because she's not a romance-heavy character. Her focus was always on what was best for the crew and on finding a way back to Federation space.

I don't think this angle of her character really gets enough credit: it was a rare thing for a leading woman in a TV show to not be paired off with someone long-term at some point. Even nowadays, it seems like every other television show wants to pair its women off, even if it would be fine for this specific character living in these specific circumstances to prefer remaining single.

Even if they had have paired her off with someone, the only people they reasonably could have paired her off with long term are people directly under her command. That wouldn't have gelled well with her general demeanor of at least trying to be that kind of classically professional Starfleet captain who didn't get romantically involved with a subordinate.

So if they had have given her a long term romantic pairing, it would have derailed her character both as the staunch professional she wanted to be and as the progressive "doesn't need a man to be interesting" woman she was from an out-of-universe perspective.

Secondly, the canon pairings in the Berman era were awful. The only ones that were at least passable were the O'Briens, Ben Sisko/Kasidy Yates, and Tom Paris/B'Elanna Torres. Some of this is just because I'm genuinely confused as to what most of the canon pairings would have seen in each other, so I think they would have ended up pairing Janeway with someone who didn't quite fit with her. Mostly they just sorta sucked at writing romance in general, to the point where even the passable canon pairings were passable in a "okay, it makes sense that these two are together, but please don't dwell on it too much" kind of way.

I think this point gets lost in a lot of fan circles, too. A lot of the focus in the more ship-y circles of fandom tends to be on these popular fanon pairings, so sometimes the actual romance writing on the source material gets lost. At least with Star Trek, the canonical romance writing is often so awful that it's probably a good thing that a lot of the shippier fans forget it exists.

Still, had they paired her off with someone long term on the show, I suspect it would have ended up being one of those things where people's response would have been something like, "Janeway and Neelix? Seriously, guys? Is this what we're doing today?"

Really, the best thing that could have happened with Janeway in a romantic sense is one of two things. One would have been if early on she had have come out and said, "Actually, I'm mostly aromantic. Mark is the only guy I've ever seen in that light."

There would have been room for this kind of scene in canon. I forget which episode it was, but early on in Voyager there was a scene where Chakotay and Janeway talk about the crew pairing off, and the general tone is that eventually it will happen because of how long their journey is going to be. It ends with Chakotay saying, "And what about you?", with the scene intending to imply that maybe there was a little spark between the two.

This scene could have been changed so that instead of it just cutting to the next scene, Janeway had have replied with, "I'm mostly aromantic. Mark is the only person I've ever seen in that light", and then cut to the next scene.

I think this would have worked because it would have given Janeway an easy out to not be in a relationship; especially if there was never any followup to that scene. It also would have made Janeway one of the very few aromantic characters to have ever been on television, and probably the only one from the '90s, so it would have doubled down on the progressive elements of her character.

The other way they could have gone about this is if they had have set up some holoemitters in her ready room and given her a holographic personification of the ship itself to fall in love with. This could have been a very literal take on Kirk's love with the Enterprise. It also would have worked with Janeway's character in general, as Fair Haven establishes she is capable of falling in love with a hologram.

The subtext here would be the open question of whether or not she's in love with the persona specifically, actually in love with the ship, or if she's in love with her position as captain. All three would be acceptable answers. Still, this is a much more fan fic-y idea and I'm not entirely sure how it'd work in practice.

[greentrickster]

Hi!! Just dropping by to say I love your Saturation fic! It’s probably the only AA fic I repeatedly read myself, since I think your writing for the characters is so strong and in-character, and you change details that make sense/fix problematic issues (such as the Trucy panties thing) also it just has the right tone of the AA series. Usually in fanfic people it’s their own writing style, the tone of the media they’re right for can get lost, so I like how you actively try to keep AA’s wacky funny tone while also being heartwarming. It’s just. Great. Makes it really fit you know?

Also!! I find it very cool you made Phoenix and Edgeworth get together during the disbarred era, I haven’t read a large amount of AA fanfic so i don’t know if it’s common for those two to already be in a relationship in other fics, but I think it’s really interesting you made that decision! Not just with AA, in pairing fics you don’t usually have the characters get together until the end since that’s the “goal.” I see very few of fics that actually explore how the relationship changes/morphs when they actually are together. That’s usually just a thing for most couples getting together in media now that I think about it.. You have any thoughts on that?

First off, thank-you so much, I'm both honoured and flattered, thank-you! ^U^ ^///^ Hearing that I've really captured the tone of a setting and its characters always feels wonderful! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

I've never seen them get together/be together in the disbarment era during a fic in quite the way I'm doing it - that's honestly a big part of why I am doing it as I am. Like... if AO3's a potluck, then I tend to devour all the yummy stuff everyone else has made, then try and cook any dishes I'm craving but no one else has made myself.

Except in this case I thought I was making a nice spaghetti dinner and discovered too late that I was, in fact, making an entire banquet and also desert.

Such is life.

In regards to Phoenix and Miles getting together and it not being the end of the fic... it could just be me being an aromantic (which I am), but I generally don't find 'they get together and then the story ends' stories very satisfying for long-form stories. Like... I can enjoy it in movies, but once we start getting past the hour and a half mark the snail in my ear shouting "NOW KISS" gets progressively louder.

Also, I just like seeing the post get-together relationship grow and develop! I've been cheering for these characters to become a couple, I want to see them actually get to be a couple, you know? It's more fun that way, a much more satisfying pay-off! And it's fun getting to follow them on their path, see how they relate to each other, how this shifts things in other aspects of their lives - it's really great! One of my favorite manga is called Otomen, it's eighteen volumes long, and the main couple get together for realsies in volume two. It's a series with its flaws, they all are, but dang is it a satisfying read in regards to their relationship and getting to watch these two grow up and grow closer together as they learn more about themselves and each other! This is my jam, I absolutely in no way want to ever date or be in a queer platonic relationship with anyone else (though I do have a BFF whom I love dearly), but I adore reading about other people being in love and enjoying being in love; makes me happy to see happy couples in real life, too!

As to why I personally think mainstream media doesn't tend to do this, honestly? Cowardice. Not because they're afraid to try new things (we've had some awesome shows recently that some fantastic creators have worked so hard to bring us), but because 'will they won't they' story lines historically sell, and sell well, and it's an easy way to get people tuning in week after week. I think a lot of people who call the shots and do the marketing research for shows believe that, if given the satisfaction of seeing their ship get together (or get together and be happy), then they'll stop watching or tuning in, because they've gotten what they wanted and don't need to watch anymore. They're afraid that giving the viewers any lasting satisfaction will cause them to lose interest in a show. I could be wrong, I'm in no ways an expert on this stuff, but this is the general vibe I've gotten over the years.

Anyways, thank-you again, I'm really happy to hear that you're enjoying my fic so much! ^_^ <3

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

Hello! Congratulations on 6k!!!

I hope it’s acceptable for me to ship you with Morpheus from Sandman. He’s pretty big, but! He is of the realm of dreams, a being beyond that is human, who can perceive you and who you are an a level different than any other. Introspection and writing, in my perspective, works very well with Morpheus. Plus, you’re always lost in your own head, so while day dreaming perhaps he could pop in for a visit, help with inspiration. I think he could enjoy observing you, watching you! And it might just be my experience, but I’m also asexual (technically aromantic aegosexual) which I think a being beyond human or god could really understand that.

Now, for me, I request the character to be from Baldur’s Gate (I’m not asking Sandman because if you didn’t tell me I’d be with Corinthian I would cry). Please feel free to assign anyone who’s in the game, be it party members, npcs, or villains.

So, sexuality wise, already said I’m aroace — and aegosexuality is “sex without the self”, aka the concept of sex is great but doing sec as me, in my body, sounds horrific. But! I am also exclusively attracted to men.

Now, personality; I am, first and foremost, autistic. I know this doesn’t define who I am, but I am actually quite proud of being autistic, it makes me happy, I brag about it. I am proud of thinking about things in a different way than others and I am proud of all the effort I’ve put into learning to empathize with others. I’m someone who is often disconnected from my own body, it rarely feels like it’s mine or fully representative of what I do or am. I often escape into fantasies within my head and can pace in circles for hours exploring those settings, not to mention all the fiction that I get too into and try to learn everything about. And through intense study and research, I’ve attempted to learn and understand how people communicate and work on a psychological level, fascinated by the inconsistencies and willing to be forgiving for many circumstances as long as I can understand it — however when I am unable to understand something I can grow increasingly distressed and frustrated. If someone refuses to explain something to me it can even lead to a full on breakdown. Another thing, I don’t like to be “in charge”. I enjoy assisting others, making others lives easier, and overall I also try to assume neutrality from others. It’s difficult to offend or insult me. Oh, also a quick thing — I am extremely morally strict with myself and the standards I hold (easy example; I won’t be friends with anyone who’s racist and will cut off family if I realize they are), if I make a promise I try to never break it and if someone promises me something I expect it to hold.

Final thing on romance : to me the most romantic thing that could happen (that is physically impossible) is mutual cannibalization. Or! Being able to curl up in someone’s chest cavity. Gore and gruesomeness has always intrigued me on a very deep level.

I ship you with Lae’zel

Lae’zel is a very straight forward person. She doesn’t feel the need to hide her opinions or her desires so communication would be a non-issue. She would admire your moral code and your dedication to it. It might, at times, conflict with her own, but that also provides an opportunity to change and grow. While she might not fully understand how deeply you get inside your own head an imagination, once she understands it importance to you, she’d be sure to give you space. She's also the one to pull you back to reality when the situation calls for it.

Overall you can trust to have a true and honest relationship where all your wants and desires will be heard and understood.

This would only end badly. But it would be beautiful.

(18/30)

6k Follower Celebration

[upsidedownism]

[ brigette lundy paine | non-binary | they/them | twenty-five ] —— it’s just another typical week in hawkins i guess — isn’t that right, siobhan mcclaughlin? huh, guess they can’t hear me over cloudbusting by kate bush playing on their walkman, but it looks like they’re headed to work as a cashier at bradley’s big buy supermarket. did you know shiv has been in hawkins for number of twenty-three years? yeah, they’ve been described as a bit blunt, but i suppose them also being adaptable outweighs the negative. i’ve also heard people say they remind them of shirts cut and made into crop tops, converse doodled with art and words, big jackets and backwards caps, finding comfort in science and resolutions, willing to fight for their family no matter what the circumstances, a fear of abandonment that they’ll never talk about, nodding their head to music over an open window to forget their problems… however, that could just be this weeks newest rumor.

character inspos: lip gallagher ( shameless ), maeve wiley ( sex education ), alex karev ( greys anatomy ), cristina yang ( greys anatomy ), kaz brekker ( shadown & bone ), raven reyes ( the 100 ), selina kyle ( batman ), beth harmon ( the queens gambit ), fleabag ( fleabag ), patrick verona ( ten things i hate about you )

full name:  siobhan tierney mclaughlin nickname(s):  shiv name meaning:  the lord is gracious age:  twenty-five date of birth:  november 12 place of birth:  indianapolis, indiana current location:  hawkins, indiana gender:  non-binary sexuality:  queer / aromantic pronouns:  they/them religion: catholic but probably agnostic now occupation:  bradley’s education level:  high school, bachelors in mechanical engineering financial status:  poor spoken languages:  english, spanish, french

there’s comfort in chaos, at least if you were to ask shiv, that’s what they’d say. there’s comfort in chaos and an older brother that exudes sunshine on a not so very nuclear family. but they wouldn’t have any other way. 

shiv is the second oldest of the mclaughlins and often feels like the most lost, but they’d never say that out loud. 

they had always known that they were a little bit different growing up but took that in stride, where kids were playing on the playground shiv was wondering what it took to make the playground... the playground, often coming up with their own grand ideas of how to make it better. putting their hands to work on things that could improve their life had always been something that they found joy in and wanted to carry that into adulthood. 

though by the time that they’re old enough to know better, that kids like them with big dreams won’t ever make it that far because of the lack of money and belief from teachers would be enough to crush a kid but never shiv who took the defeats in strides. their family was never meant to have it the easy way. 

they’ve always been a con artist at heart, making schemes to get somewhere in life, not to try and catch up with the people who already had it all, but just to get by. they used their brains to their advantage, earned money by taking the SATS in neighbouring towns for people, writing essays for older classmates that were barely making it by, stealing what they could, but always being genuine in their own work. 

teachers said that if they just stopped getting in trouble that they’d make it far. 

shiv danced to the beat of their own drum, embraced their weirdness, and explored their likes and dislikes. made it on the soccer team, tried band once and failed, but brushed it off. they were good in workshop, their hands always known what they needed to do before their brain did. 

shiv has had the same job at bradley’s since they were fifteen and it hasn’t changed even when they went to school, it’s a steady pay even if it isn’t much, and if anyone sees them stealing they don’t say anything. 

personality wise they’re a little aloof but talkative if you get them on the right day, very deeply loyal, intense trust issues, prefers random hookups, sorry to say shiv will never settle down with anyone simply because they don’t want to, they figured this out pretty early on when kids were getting crushes and people their age started dating. they simply don’t work that way and are at peace with it. 

refuses to talk about their mommy and daddy issues, why bother when you have a great older brother?? ( but seriously its a sore subject they refuse to think about it or acknowledge that they exist )

shiv helped with the rebuild of the town and the library with their degree, despite feeling stuck here they do kind of have a fondness for hawkins even if it’s kind of going to the shitter. 

wc ideas:

best friends -- shiv is very loyal and will pretty much do anything for their best friend and i mean literally anything 

smoking buddy -- self explanatory, probably will talk the person’s ear off about their pretentious taste in music 

fwb -- self explanatory, probably high fives by the end of it i hate them 

old friendship -- while shiv is loyal that doesn’t mean they haven’t accidentally hurt people in the past due to their nature of trust issues and fear of abandonment, they leave before they get left 

when i think of more i’ll add them adskjfnalsd

[troublcmakcrs]

Flirting with Craig is... weird, a real hit or miss experience. If he's the one to initiate, you're usually okay to continue, but his moods can change on a dime, and he can quickly decide he's bored and would like you to knock it off.

I write him on the aromantic spectrum, and he often struggles with conceptualizing and being / staying in relationships. Between his parents and Tweek, he hasn't had a lot of great examples of romantic relationships, so he tends to be very ehhh about them. When he flirts with people, it's pretty much never with the intention of getting into a relationship. 90% of the time, he is just dicking around and wants people to know he could get bitches if he wanted them. He doesn't care how the interaction goes one way or the other; rejecting him isn't gonna break his heart.

Although he's aromantic, he's allosexual and will respond marginally better to flirtation that leans a little sexier than cutesy. (Don't be fooled, though; he may talk a lot of shit, but he's not an especial freak in the sheets.) In general, though, regardless of how you decide to hit on him, it's important to keep things light and playful. Craig has ✨ Commitment Issues ✨ and is extremely turned off by people who try to get too deep and serious with anything too quickly. If you wanna speedrun him ghosting you, though, go for it ;)

Also, if you decide to initiate, Craig recoils much less from women than from men. He is bisexual but experiences a lot of internalized homophobia, beats himself up over his attraction to men because he hates that the people who called him gay were at least half right about him. It is too easy to give Craig the ick if you're a man, so you've got to be careful, and men are especially susceptible to his "will start flirting but then randomly decide to ghost" BS.

Ultimately, Craig is very skittish and inconsistent about his affections, and slowburn is the name of the game.

[corelliaxdreaming]

SWrarepairs 2023 Dear Creator Letter

This was so not supposed to be 2,000+ words, wtf...

First of all, thank you for writing for me! (And thank you for dealing with this massive letter omg.) No matter what, I absolutely can’t wait to see what you come up with. I’m pretty easy as far as fics go. If you want to ignore everything in this post and only incorporate the pairing, that’s fine! I enjoy anything from tooth-rotting fluff to soul-rending angst, any rating at all, and I only have a few DNWs. I’d prefer no noncon/dubcon/cheating/violence/etc between the main ship, but if they’re included elsewhere, as long as there’s a heads-up, that’s fine. I don't mind hard angst such as character death, even characters in the requested ship. Also please try to refrain from amatonormativity/compulsory sexuality – philosophies that all people inherently desire romance/sex and would be happier without them. As an aromantic asexual myself, I love a good ship, but that stuff isn't for every single person.

As for what I do like, my very favorite thing in the world is hurt/comfort, particularly of the emotional variety. If, even metaphorically, someone is crying and someone is hugging them, I am very happy. Being an anxiety sufferer myself, I also have a soft spot for seeing characters dealing with mental illness stuff, anxiety and depression particularly, especially if their partner/s are there being super supportive and helping them through it. I've also recently started therapy and working on my own coping skills, and I love to see my faves using them to help themselves/each other. Any kind of porn with feelings also never goes amiss. Being aroace, I absolutely love to see my faves being represented as on either or both of those spectrums. I know this is a romantic/sexual-based exchange, but if you felt like throwing in a queerplatonic relationship as well (or instead? Is that legal?), I'm all for that.

As you can probably tell from my request list, my absolute favorite part of Star Wars is the fighter pilots. I love the angst inherent in the constant battles and always being on call and losing people. The stress and exhaustion. Pilot/pilot pairings knowing they could lose the other in battle at any time. Pilot/non-pilot pairings with the non-pilot feeling so helpless as they watch their partner go off to fight and so relieved when they come back. Commanders hurting because they care about their pilots so much yet there’s only so much they can do to protect them, and every death hurts so much. Just – pilot feels!!

For similar reasons, I love JFO. Cal is a perfect character for me – all angsty and hurt and sad but also determined to do the right thing and learning and growing and u g h. He just needs a nice boyfriend.

I know we're carefully separating different SW sub-fandoms, and that's kind of complicated, but I will mention I prefer the Legends side of things when there's a choice (unless stated otherwise). But I'm not a canon hater, and it’s always interesting to see where what can happen when the two get mixed together. The X-wing book series (and the era in general) is by far my favorite time period. I’m currently reading NJO: Star by Star and will be finished by the time of reveals, so if possible I’d prefer something without (or with very light) spoilers past the end of that book. I'm also interested in seeing things set during this time.

I prefer to see any OC/OC ships with unspecified genders be queer in at least one way – whether it be one or both of then is trans/enby, mspec, acespec, arospec, etc etc. That doesn't necessarily mean they can't be m/f, but queer aspects, please. :)

I think we still include our own AO3 links on these just in case, so here’s that – https://archiveofourown.org/users/icandrawamoth/profile.

As for thoughts on the particular pairings I requested:

Wedge Antilles/Wes Janson (C-EU)

I'm interested in how the Fab Four's relationships change in canon now that Tycho is out of the picture. Especially with Wes and Wedge, once Hobbie is also gone post-Hoth. Two FACPOV stories have shown us these two are close, with Wes being Rogue Squadron's XO. Surely I wasn't the only one who thought for a hot second they were gonna hook up in the ROTJ one?

Wyl Lark/Sonogari (C-EU)

The books tell us this relationship just sort of didn't work out, and I respectfully disagree. Wyl deserves a nice, soft boyfriend to help him will of his nice, softness (and sadness) – even if he does die later.

Original Downed Rebel Pilot/Original Farmer Hiding Them From the Authorities (OT) Original Overworked Rebellion Therapist/Original Overworked Rebellion Medic (OT)

These both seem like great opportunities for h/c! Especially the therapist/medic. Such mutual potential angst and comfort. :D

Idealistic Resistance Pilot/Jaded Former Rebellion Pilot (ST)

This sounds like fun. I'd prefer to not see it that the Resistance pilot just “fixes” the Rebellion pilot's views. Maybe more like they affect each other and more both come closer to the middle of that binary.

Pilot Who Stayed With the New Republic/Their Resistance Pilot Lover (ST)

Juicy! Would love to see it focus on their different ideologies, especially if it's one of my fave things where the NR pilot doesn't necessary disagree with the Resistance but just isn't the kind of person who can leave their whole life behind and live like that – and they can still do good where they are. Would love to see the Resistance pilot understand this, even if they are frustrated by it. And at the end of day, even if they don’t quite see eye to eye, their love is strong.

Tallissan Lintra/Paige Tico (ST)

I still ask myself constantly how I fell in love with Tallie with like five seconds of screentime and two lines of dialogue, but here I am. Paige is my fave lady to ship her with. I like the dynamic that it's very much Tallie's actual job to protect Paige while in battle. (I know I can't actually request additional character, so totally feel free to ignore the rest of this section.) It's be nice to see Tallie be friends with Rose, as with the sisters being so close, I feel like that would be a thing. Quadruple bonus points for any mention of Tallie's sister, Kallie, who was mentioned for like two sentences in the ROTJ junior novel.

Cal Kestis (JFOS)/Wyl Lark (C-EU)

When I absolutely fell in love with Cal even before JFO came out, I needed a good boy to ship him with. The game didn't really provide, so I went looking elsewhere in the saga and came up with my other favorite good, soft boy at the time: Wyl Lark. I played with the idea of Cal somehow getting cryofrozen or whatever and waking up the same age in Wyl's time, or Wyl somehow getting transported to Cal's time, but if you choose to write this, is whatever you wanna. Also a fan of Force-sensitive Wyl. Obviously you're not beholden to this, but I headcanon Cal as asexual bi and Wyl as demisexual pan.

Bode Akuna/Cal Kestis (JFOS)

And then Survivor gave us Bode! At first my headcanons with them were very soft, and then – oof, that reveal. Really anything goes here that involves these two genuinely caring for each other. Canon-compliant, AUs, whatever. I don't tend to read/write a lot of Jedi, and I've loved what I've seen of these two connecting through the Force if that comes out in time. I also looove the idea of Cal being a virgin when he gets together with Bode and Bode being all gentle and caring and leading him through his first time. (I mentioned above no dubcon/noncon, and I know some people would consider Bode's identity stuff that – I'm cool with this pairing, no matter how you play that.) As mentioned above, though you're obviously not beholden to it, I do headcanon Cal as asexual (and both he and Bode as bi), and it would also be cool to see them figuring this out together.

Wedge Antilles/Tycho Celchu (Any), Wedge Antilles/Tycho Celchu (Legends)

*yelling* My #1 OTP! 10/10 will adore anything where they’re together. Something set during that first six months after Tycho’s defection where Wedge was afraid to get close to him and wouldn’t even call him by his first name? Yep. Any type of Lusankya-related angst? Yep. Trial-related angst? Yep. Tycho comforting Wedge when the burdens of command are too much? Yep. Wedge comforting Tycho when the burdens of command are too much? Yep. Anything about what they're doing during all that off-page time in early NJO? Yep. Role-reversals of any kind? Yep. Literally anything? Yeeeep. (Bonus points if anything with Tycho set in NJO features him Not Vibing with the Jedi's pacifism bs.) Genuinely my favorite thing in the world is to just beat one of these guys (usally Tycho, but either way is great) over the head with angst and pain until they break, then have the other one gently put them back together/help them put themselves back together. <333

Nejaa Halcyon/Scerra Halcyon/Rostek Horn (Legends)

Look me in the eye tell me there wasn't something with these three. (Okay, I respect it being what it is canonically, but also.)

Tycho Celchu/Corran Horn (Legends)

You know those things you start shipping as a joke and then – oops, feelings? Yeah. At some point along the way, I just got really invested in these two being friends, and I’m interested in that becoming into romance as well. I especially love the idea of them really bonding after Corran’s return from Lusankya, with having that shared trauma between them. Corran leaning on Tycho to help him though it, Tycho finally having someone to talk to who really gets what he went through. Or maybe it’s before that, Corran trying to deal with being attracted to Tycho while also not trusting him? Big headcanons on Corran being bi and not quite ready to accept it. The two of them struggling while in quarantine on the Lusankya together. Or even something later on, once all of that is done with and they trust each other and are flying together. Tycho is pretty eager to jump to help Corran during I, Jedi. Or maybe Tycho supporting Corran through his exile nonsense in NJO? (Bonus points if anything with Tycho set in NJO features him Not Vibing with the Jedi's pacifism bs.) Anything goes.

Wedge Antilles/Corran Horn (Legends)

That said, I also got a little spark of “what if this pairing?” on my last X-wing reread. Maybe something to do with Wedge's reluctance to get close to the new Rogues, but Corran getting under his skin anyway? Nothing really specific, just intrigued by this premise.

Wedge Antilles/Tycho Celchu/Luke Skywalker (Legends), Tycho Celchu/Luke Skywalker (Legends)

With the popular pairing being Wedge/Luke, and my personal OTP being Wedge/Tycho, I'm just kinda interested in smooshing those two together. Maybe two are already together and third pines? Idk. On a similar note, just Tycho/Luke. Again, nothing real specific for these two pairings either, just find the idea interesting. (I am intrigued by the possibility of Force-sensitive Tycho, so maybe that could be something to play with?)

Wedge Antilles/Broak Vessery (Legends)

The always-wonderful Rogue Podron podcast put me onto this one with how they talked up Vessery and his interactions with Wedge. I like what similar characters these two guys are: both skilled pilots, super dedicated to the people flying with them. Not exactly allies, but not exactly enemies, being forced to work together for a greater goal. I like the idea of something happening between them on Isard's base, like non-even-quite-friends-with-benefits, just an understanding of each other as people and blowing off steam, maybe getting some comfort. Again, I know I can't really request additional characters, but bonus points for Tycho opining on the situation, whether he doesn't like it or is encouraging.

Wedge Antilles/Tycho Celchu/Wes Janson/Derek “Hobbie” Klivian (Legends)

Ah, the classic OT4. I just love how these four are always together in the X-wing fics. Friends, lovers, any combination among them? Golden. Just some random ideas: How the four of them got together and in what order. Dealing with Wedge being the only one there when Tycho got back from Lusankya and Wes and Hobbie not being able to see him for some time. Dealing with their separation while Hobbie and Tycho are with the Rogues and Wedge and Wes are with the Wraiths. Or, y'know, anything. ;)

[honeymoonjin]

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: ot7 x reader || ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 13k || ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: smut - rated 18+

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ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: fxf smut, sub!reader, dom!hoseok, dom!bee, shibari/bondage, sex swing, fingering, safewording situation, aftercare, exhibition, voyeurism

A/N: chapters may not come every week, but i am continuing to post them now xx i appreciate your patience

DAY TWENTY-TWO

Normally, getting a text at ass o’clock in the morning would annoy Hoseok. Normally, he’d deny the offer to get out of the warmth of his bed and go down and have ‘a chat’ with someone at ass o’clock in the morning -

But then again, his bed is a little too warm with an extra body in it. Perhaps going downstairs is the better option. He rolls over gingerly, glaring at the man in bed beside him, separated by a wall of spare pillows. His blue hair doesn’t seem as harsh in the dim pre-dawn light, and his lips are plumper than ever, slightly pouted in his sleep. He looks peaceful, no lines on his face even though he’d gone to bed wearing makeup. One tiny hand rests propped underneath his face, making his cheek bulge, and the other clutches intermittently at the duvet, like he’s caught up in a dream. Park Jimin looks so content and angelic in his sleep. Hoseok narrows his eyes. Little shit.

It’s easy enough to get dressed and ready without disturbing the sleeping demon. Well - truthfully, he’s just shrugged on a hoodie over his sleep shirt and sweatpants to make them look less like pyjamas, but still.

By the time he gets downstairs, grimacing at the sharp lights of the kitchen, Namjoon is practically chewing a hole through the lid of a plastic bottle, gnawing at it with eyes rounded with worry.

“Woah, woah, woah.” Hoseok rushes forward, gently tugging the half-empty bottle out from between the younger man’s teeth, giving him a soft but reproachful look. “What’s going on, buddy?”

Namjoon startles with the sudden motion, eyes blinking slowly in a way that speaks to a lack of sleep the night before. “Oh good, you came,” he mutters absentmindedly, “I’m kinda freaking out.”

Hoseok’s brow pinches with concern. “I did notice that. You seemed pretty carefree yesterday; what’s changed?”

The academic bites his lip. “Sunmi was talking to me. Did you know basically everyone else is in a relationship?”

Whatever Hoseok was anticipating, it certainly wasn’t that. “Huh?”

Namjoon nods, frantic. “Y/n got together with Jimin and Tae, but now they’re kind of not? - I don’t know, Sunmi wasn’t that bothered about the details - and then Yoongi and Jin had their thing, obviously, but now Jungkook has a thing with Yoongi, and Tae and Jungkook have been fooling around too, and it’s like we’re the only ones left out. I didn’t even realise it, but we’re the leftovers, Hobi-hyung.”

Even as that comment sends a dagger right through him, Hoseok keeps his face neutral. “I’m sure that’s not the case, Namjoon. Nobody’s trying to leave us out.”

“I know that,” Namjoon replies quickly, an earnest nod, “it’s just that- Well, I want that, Hobi-hyung. I want to sneak around, I want to hold hands, I want to feel what it’s like. It’s not that I’m annoyed at the others, it’s just… it’s highlighted yet another area that I’m a total virgin in. I’m sick of always feeling behind on these things. I’m sick of it never being me.”

Hoseok swallows, reaching around to pat Namjoon on the back in what he hopes his a comforting gesture. This wasn’t as straightforward as aftercare; Namjoon was seriously hurting. “Listen, Joon, if you want to get into a relationship of any sort with them, you need to talk to them directly-”

“But I don’t,” the academic cuts off, looking more vulnerable than ever. In plaid pyjamas and round glasses with lenses thicker than the frames, hair still mussed up from restlessness, he looks totally lost. “I’ve thought about it a lot. I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship. It’s like… I wouldn’t write an essay and hand it in straight away, you know? I’d write an outline, and then a draft, and I’d use the draft to make edits and write a second draft, and eventually I’d write the final product and submit it. Do you get it?”

Hoseok presses his lips together. “I’m afraid I don’t follow.”

Namjoon bites down hard on his lip, making the flesh go white, and bloom red when he lets go to speak. “Hobi-hyung,” he begins slowly, “are you interested in any of the people here romantically? Are you wanting to get into a relationship like that?”

Fear shoots through Hoseok instinctively, but it’s soothed by the reassurance, it’s Namjoon. He can be honest with Namjoon. “No,” he admits, waiting for his face to fall.

Instead, the opposite happens. Namjoon’s brows smoothen with visible relief. “I want you to be my first draft, hyung.”

Hoseok tilts his head. “Now would be a great time for you to explain the metaphor, Joonie.”

Namjoon sucks in a deep breath and slips off his glasses, blinking owlishly like being a little blind is preferable before he speaks. “I want to pretend to date you, just for a bit. Just to see what it’s like. It can be a trial run, we’ll stop whenever we want. But you’re the only one in this house I trust like that.” He pauses, fingers twitching where they rest clasped in his lap. “Feel free to say no, though.”

Perhaps Hoseok’s mind is a little slow from waking up, but he barely comprehends the implications of what Namjoon is telling him. “You felt left out when the others were trying to have secret relationships or sneak around the rest of us… so you want to… pretend to do that?”

“Well- no, we wouldn’t have to hide it,” Namjoon says slowly, fingers reaching for the water bottle. Hoseok lets him have it, but watches out to make sure he doesn’t begin gnawing on the lid again. “I just think it would be nice to be the one doing couple stuff for once, don’t you think?”

Upon hearing these words, Hoseok begins to feel his very bones shake. It’s the uncontrollable trembling that seems to pass over him every time he gets close to breaking the seal - close to coming out. As always, he has a choice. It only takes one more look at the openness on Namjoon’s face to decide. “Joonie, I’m aromantic.”

Namjoon sucks in a silent breath of surprise. “Huh? Really?”

Now that it’s out there, the silence feels so much more deafening. “Yeah.” He doesn’t know what to say. Should he explain himself, apologise, give excuses-?

“That doesn’t change my opinion of you, you know that, right?”

Hoseok blinks. Namjoon seems more awake now, more alert and calm. “I- What do you mean?”

“You’re my best friend on this show,” Namjoon admits shyly, “you’ve taught me a lot, and I feel so safe with you. I didn’t come to you because I thought you’d want to actually date, so please don’t think I’m going to feel disappointed. It’s really special that you felt comfortable enough to- oof!”

Before Namjoon finishes, Hoseok is barrelling him over in a tight hug. Namjoon’s arms bracket around him, and the dom could just about purr with the warm fuzzy happiness that bubbles in his chest. “Oh, Joonie! You’re my best friend here too!”

Namjoon hugs him tighter now. “I’m so glad, hyung,” he murmurs softly.

Not wanting to leave this embrace, Hoseok lets his eyes slip closed and rests his chin on Namjoon’s shoulder. “I think fake-dating sounds kinda fun, by the way. We can take the b out of bromance. I wanna see how the others react.”

Just as the breathy sound of Namjoon’s gleeful laughter light his ears, a darker, more bemused chuckle drowns it out.

“Fake dating, huh?” a voice drawls, causing the two of them to jump apart like they’d been stung. “As if things couldn’t get any cheesier around here.”

Namjoon rubs his eyes, looking even more disheveled than when Hoseok first saw him. “Yoongi?”

Hoseok swallows as the raven-haired, cat-eyed beauty standing across from them scowls. “Not quite, buddy.”

The academic fumbles for his glasses and slips them on, gasping as Min Yoonji comes into perfect focus. “Oh! Uh, good morning! You can ignore what you just saw and heard.”

“Absolutely not,” she counters easily, sitting gracefully on a stool at the breakfast bar. Far more awake and presentable than the two of them, she looks sleek and fashionable in a pale silver blouse, black sash tied around the collar, and sleek black pants. Her eyes rake over the two of them, mouth turned down in a frown. “No one would believe it,” she says finally.

“Excuse me?” Hoseok questions, feeling distinctly like a petri dish being studied by a disdainful scientist. He spares a glance at Namjoon, who shifts uncomfortably and fiddles with his pyjama sleeves.

Yoonji just shrugs like it’s obvious. “If you told them now that you’re dating, they’d assume it was a joke. You need to set it up, build a narrative,” she explains. “How about this? I’ll spread a rumour that I saw the two of you making out down here, then you lay down some clues like sneaking off together or fucking each other with your eyes over the dinner table, and boom, everyone will think you’re boning. Bonus points if you can get someone else in on it.”

The two stay silent for a few seconds before they realise Yoonji is waiting for an answer. “Uh,” Hoseok states eloquently.

“Thank you?” Namjoon questions.

Yoonji huffs, eyes rolling skywards. “You two are hopeless. I’ll do what I can, but it’s going to cost you.”

“Are we- what- is this a deal? Are you negotiating with us?” Namjoon stammers, taking his glasses off to clean the lenses with the edge of his shirt even though they were fine before.

“There is no negotiation,” she explains. “I’ll keep your secret and help you. In return, you need to send me a text the second Yoongi tries to put the moves on anyone so I can get the fuck out of the house. I’m not asking for much, but it is very important to me.”

The absurdity of the situation dawns upon Hoseok suddenly, and an unstoppable grin stretches across his face. “It was never about helping us, was it? You just wanna make sure you don’t accidentally walk in on your brother getting railed.”

Yoonji grimaces sharply, shaking her head like she’s trying to dispel the thought. “If you aren’t interested in the deal, I’ll find someone else to blackmail, simple as that.”

“We can do it!” Namjoon volunteers, straightening his back.

Hoseok quickly nods in agreement, watching Yoonji’s shoulders dip in relief. “Sounds fair,” he summarises, “but we’ll need your phone number to do that.”

Yoonji does an almost perfect job of masking her pleased smile with a pointed glare. “Give me your phones, then.”

--

By the time everyone is seated (bar Yoonji, who has apparently taken over her brother’s room to watch Netflix while the rest of you talk ‘business’) and Sejin walks in, you’ve made your decision.

Unlike the first week, the individual doesn’t know in advance, and it’s this guilt that makes you stubbornly avoid eye contact with them all.

Taehyung had also been given the pass to not join the meeting, but he’d shown up anyway for morale. Or, rather, wrapping his arms around your waist tightly and taking a nap on your shoulder. You couldn’t deny it was comforting to feel his body heat, albeit unconscious.

Yoongi sits on the other side of Taehyung, luckily not pressuring you into conversation, and the two other couches are making conversation amongst themselves when Sejin cuts them short to start the meeting.

“Thank you for being punctual, everyone!” he begins cheerily. Perching on the edge of the coffee table, he rubs his palms together. “It’s time again for the elimination vote. Before I ask Y/n to make her decision, the current six Gentlemen have the chance to defend their position in the game. Starting from the left with you; Namjoon.”

Fuck. Now is the point where you can no longer avoid eye contact with everyone. Leaning into Taehyung’s embrace a little more - the sleeping boy grumbling as you shift beneath him - you look up tentatively towards Namjoon.

He looks a little nervous, but no more than he usually gets in these meetings anyway. Hoseok’s hand rests on the back of the couch behind the academic, who seems perfectly comfortable in the crook of Hoseok’s arm. “Y/n,” he begins, clearing his throat with a brief smile, “I’ve enjoyed the time I’ve spent with you so much, this past week especially. I know I still have some catching up to do when it comes to prowess in the bedroom, but I feel myself improving and once again I’m asking you to be patient with me, and keep me in the game a little longer so that I can do better next week, and the week after that.” He does a cute little nod when he’s finished, cheeks slightly pink.

Hoseok sighs out dramatically when his turn is signified, not shifting from his position. “I’m not above bribery, Y/n. If you keep me in this competition, I’ll take you to my workplace tonight and we can have a good time. If you vote me out, our little excursion will be to the worst Italian restaurant in Gangnam and order a margarita pizza with no cheese or sauce, extra anchovies and pineapple. And we won’t leave until you eat at least your half of the pizza.” He narrows his eyes at you, playful even in the face of elimination. “Are you willing to take that risk?”

You let out a genuine chuckle, shoulders jerking with the force of it. Roused from sleep by your movements, Tae pouts and rubs at his eyes. Even with his hair sticking up at odd angles, he looks so gorgeous that it takes your breath away. As he sits up and adjusts his position, leaning with his back against your side and tugging your arm over him like it’s a blanket, you can’t help but feel a pang of regret for voting him out so soon when you like him so much.

You bite down hard on your tongue, wincing at the pain. Would you come to regret the decision you’re making this morning, too?

Jin is next, and your heart thumps a little faster when you meet his gentle gaze. “I don’t have a lot to say,” he admits slowly, “at least, nothing that I haven’t already said to you. Spending time with you in any context is the highlight of my week, and I sorely hope that I don’t lose you just yet.”

That’s it for the couch to the left of you. Relieved nobody is expecting you to actually respond to these, you give Jin a tight smile and turn to Yoongi, staring at him over Taehyung’s bedhead.

Yoongi shrugs. “Y/n, I think you and I make a really good team. We’re compatible sexually, we get along well outside of that, and I know that you see it too. I’m pretty confident that I’m not the one going home this week.” You let out a light scoff at his faux air of certainty.

Finally, Jimin and Jungkook remain on the last couch. Jungkook is closer to you, so he’s next in line. The bright red streaks of his hair have faded a little, more rosy than before. It makes him look even softer as he sits cross-legged on the couch, the long sleeves of his baggy black shirt tangled up in his lap. He looks genuinely worried, unable to front a smile to you. “Um, I would-” He breaks off suddenly as his nose twitches. “I’d be really sad if you eliminated me,” he confesses in a small voice. “I don’t wanna guilt trip, but, um, I really wanna stay in.”

Your heart aches at the way he drops his chin and stares at the carpet blankly. Beside him, Jimin looks equally pained, and his voice is softer than usual when he speaks up.

“In terms of defending my place in the game,” Jimin says slowly, “I can promise that I’ll keep things different and exciting every week for you and that things will be a lot more fun if you keep me in.” He eyes crinkle fondly. “But I trust your decision either way.”

You suck in an unsteady breath. With everyone’s petitions complete, there’s nothing standing between you and the decision you have to make. Though his words cut right to you, the person you’d chosen earlier hasn’t changed.

Sejin clears his throat after giving you a moment to think. “Who are you choosing to eliminate this week, Y/n? As per the current rules, they’ll be removed from the competition, but allowed to remain in the house on the grounds that they do not initiate any sexual contact with you.”

Making like Jungkook, you lower your gaze to the floor. “First of all,” you start, hating the way your voice sounds so small, “you’re all amazing. Just like last week, there’s no- there’s no easy choice. No matter who I choose it’s going to suck for us both, and I’m sorry about that.”

You pause for a moment, trying to think of the right way to phrase your thoughts. “I’m choosing this person because I think that while the sex has been, um, really good-” it’s futile to fight the blush on your cheeks but you duck your head lower anyway, “-it’s maybe not as exciting week to week as some of the other guys.” The eyes on you feel like redhot pressure points, and you try and loosen the tightness in your chest. “And if I’m totally honest, I think- I really like this person, but I think I’d feel a little more comfortable being able to explore that without the pressures of the competition.”

It’s the least you can do to lift your gaze up and to the left, giving him the dignity of a proper sendoff. “I’m sorry, Jin, it’s you this week.”

Perhaps the worst part of this morning is that Jin seems genuinely caught off-guard.

Or perhaps the worst part is the way his face falls into something grave and icy, standing up so abruptly that Hoseok recoils beside him.

Your heart sinks, your voice drowned out by Sejin’s even as you call out the same name.

“Jin,” Sejin commands, “you have to come back to- Jin!”

Though he was already halfway to the front door, Jin stiffly turns around and waits in the doorway. His eyes actively avoid you, glaring at the wall. Sejin excuses himself and takes him aside to give him the instructions on how to proceed.

It feels like a bucket of cold water has been dumped over you, pooling in your stomach, and you fight the tears that prick your eyes as Tae wriggles around beside you, pulling you into a hug.

You feel fingers card through your hair, even as his two hands stroke your back and hold you close. Glancing up, you’re met with the sight of Yoongi’s face, pained with sympathy, as he gently pats your cheek and continues to brush your hair.

“He hates me,” you murmur miserably.

Yoongi doesn’t contradict you, just letting out a sad sigh. “He’s upset,” he admits, “but he’s a strong guy. He’ll move past it.”

You protest weakly as Taehyung coos softly and pulls you closer, practically tugging you onto his lap so your legs hang over one side and your torso is snug in his embrace. The guilt is far worse this week than it was last time. It constricts your lungs, your veins, makes you feel weak with dread. “He likes me. He likes me and I did that to him.”

“Oh, sweetheart, we all like you,” Yoongi says, his hand falling to cup yours, swirling lazy circles on the skin of your palm.

“Not like that,” you counter, “not like Jin does.”

For a moment it seems like Yoongi is going to disagree with that, but he drops it, squeezing your hand and standing up. “I’m going to make us something to eat. Maybe a hot stew would cheer everyone up a little bit.”

The chances are low, you think, but you would never turn down his food. “Sejin still hasn’t assigned the new prompts and told us about the new week, though,” you point out, glancing over to the two men still in the doorway. Even seeing Jin for a second jolts you like an electric shock, so you turn and bundle your face into the crook of Taehyung’s neck, feeling the soft fibres of his box-knit cardigan against your chin.

“Then Sejin can make himself useful and chop some vegetables while he does it,” Yoongi counters with a pompous sniff as he leaves, and in spite of your own misery, a chuckle overcomes you at the thought of it.

“There’s that smile,” Taehyung croons, a finger tipping your chin up. His eyes are two brown pools of comfort that you can’t help but get lost in. “Jin will survive. I did!”

You straighten up once you hear the sound of shoes approaching again, smile dropping. But this time Sejin stands alone.

“Yoongi, out of the kitchen, please,” the producer sighs.

With one foot hovering over the border where carpet meets tile, Yoongi freezes. “I’ll make you an extra serving,” he bargains, “you can even pick the meat.”

“Out of the kitchen,” Sejin repeats in a stern voice, “can we have at least some decorum during the meeting?”

“But I’m hungry,” he defends. Sejin doesn’t reply, simply flattening his gaze. As everyone waits, Yoongi slinks back like a sulking cat, perching on the edge of the couch beside you and Taehyung with his arms crossed in defiance. “Do I get to pick out the prompts again?”

“No. Let’s get started, please.” Taking a breath so deep it lifts his shoulders, Sejin calms himself and clears his throat, standing in front of the seven of you. “The theme of this week is Limited Edition. I’ve got five prompts here; come up in any order.”

Taehyung slides you off his lap so smoothly that you barely notice it’s happened before he’s standing up with a stretch, waltzing towards Sejin’s outstretched hand.

Sejin realises at the last minute and tugs his hand back the second Taehyung’s fingers brush one of the slips of paper. “Taehyung, you know you can’t take a prompt. Sit down.”

Without pause, Taehyung spins on his foot, strolling right back to your couch as if nothing was amiss. “Worth a shot,” he mutters when he sits back down beside you. You know this is just his attempt at cheering you up, but that doesn’t make it work any less. Tucking your arm around his, you lean into him and watch as the first actual contestant takes his prompt.

It’s Yoongi up first, clearly wanting to expedite the process as much as possible, but when he snatches the topmost fold of paper, the text written inside gives him pause. His brows furrow, then lift in realisation, before he collapses back beside you, drumming his fingers on the arm of the couch thoughtfully.

Jimin is next, selecting the next one in the splayed-out pile. His head cocks to the side, turning to Yoongi with a curious look. “Oh,” he comments mildly.

“Yeah,” Yoongi agrees, and Hoseok, who’d previously been stunned into silence with Jin’s sudden mood change, springs up with a huff.

“What is this oohing and aahing all about,” he grumbles, quickly picking a prompt and holding it close to his chest like he’s worried someone will peek. The second he looks at his, however, his face falls. He tries to recover with a light laugh, but you don’t miss the way he eyes the remaining slips in Sejin’s hand like he longs to trade his in.

He sits down though, patting Namjoon’s thigh to get him to go up. Oddly enough, Namjoon also looks stricken when he reads his prompt, showing it to Hoseok with a nervous gnawing of his lip.

Jungkook is the last one left, and at this point you’re uncontrollably curious but also wary about what these prompts could contain. Interestingly, though, Jungkook doesn’t seem disappointed or worried, but instead scrunches his nose and giggles at the prompt, tucking it into his pocket before joining Jimin and poking his side until the older man shows him his prompt, snickering even more at the sight of it.

“Alright,” Sejin starts, cutting off your train of thought, “now that we’ve finished that, the last point of discussion is the Bangasm Bomb. This week, the special challenge is called Viewer’s Choice. Each day, there will be a random poll taken on the official Bangasm twitter. It will correspond to each prompt, and the next morning, one of you will get a text. That means you have to complete your prompt that day, using the winning vote of the poll. If you fail to include this aspect, you’ll fail overall even if you successfully completed the actual prompt. Make sense?”

Jungkook stares blankly. “Could we have an example?”

Sejin shrugs. “The first poll was posted at 10am this morning. The four options are: standing, lying down, sitting and kneeling. Whichever position wins the poll must be included in the scene tomorrow. If, tomorrow morning, you get a text from me with one of these options, that means you need to complete your prompt that day using the winning option of the poll.”

“Okay,” Jungkook says slowly, mulling it over, “yeah, I get it now. So we don’t get to choose when we go?”

“Not this week, no,” Sejin explains, and then clears his throat. “Well, then. That’s all from me! I need to go make sure Seokjin is behaving.”

The mention of the recently-eliminated member sobers everyone up. Yoongi returns to the kitchen with less vigor than before, Hoseok joins him to make himself a drink, Jungkook comes over to the couch with you and Taehyung and wedges himself between the two of you, so sullen he doesn’t even speak.

In the end, the seven of you decide to eat lunch in front of the television, putting on a mindless sitcom that nobody really focuses on. Yoonji comes down once Yoongi texts her for lunch, and she sits on the floor with her bowl propped up on the coffee table.

Time passes, and Jin doesn’t return inside.

For a while, there’s an unspoken assumption that he’s still in the confessional shed with Sejin doing his exit interview, but once Jimin pokes his head out the front door and sees the producer working away in the production van, that idea is shattered.

“He’s okay, right?” Taehyung asks abruptly as a laugh track echoes hollowly around the room.

No one needs to ask who he is. Yoongi shrugs. “He’s an adult,” he offers, but the glint of concern is as much alight in his eyes as anyone else’s.

The thought only sustains peace amongst you for so long. Jungkook is glum, Hoseok looks anxious, Namjoon grows restless and begins chewing the end of one of his chopsticks. Even Yoonji has her brows furrowed, jaw tense.

Eventually, your worry overcomes you, and you grab the remote and mute the TV, pitching the room into silence. “I’m going to find him,” you announce.

“Y/n…” Yoongi says reluctantly, but your mind is made.

Not bothering with shoes, you unlock the front door again and slip outside, immediately turning the perimeter to go look for the missing gentleman.

Half-expecting him to be sulking in the confessional booth still, a strike of alarm thuds in your chest to find it empty. You inspect the poolside, the patio and outdoor dining area, but Seokjin’s nowhere to be found.

It’s just as you’re about to give up and return inside that you spot him.

Barely more than a smudge in the distance, you see his tall figure sitting, hunched up, on the very outskirts of the gravel path. He picks up pieces of rock, throws them half-heartedly, and he’s so far away that you can’t even hear them clatter. You recoil at the lonely sight, fighting the urge to run to him.

When you return inside, all eyes are on you. “He’s right on the edge of the property,” you explain miserably, “as far away from me as he can get.”

“Oh, Y/n,” Jimin says softly, eyes brimming with sympathy. From the silence around the room, there’s not much else to say.

You bite your lip. “He probably doesn’t want to talk to me, but can someone please go get him before it gets dark? I’m going to my room for a bit.”

Nobody protests, and you heave yourself up the stairs. By the time you flop onto the bed in your room, door locked behind you, you feel heavier than solid stone.

You’re too distressed to sleep, but guilt pulls at your limbs and leaves you unable to get out of bed for the rest of the day.

--

By the time you’re called down to go on your excursion with Hoseok, part of you wants to cancel and wallow in your self-pity a little longer. But Hoseok had clearly been looking forward to it so much, and you can’t deny the allure of escaping the Villa, even if only for a few hours.

Hoseok beams at you warmly as he greets you at the car idling outside. With his hair fluffy over his brow but his clothes sleek black, he’s like an enticing halfway point between Hoseok and Master. The sun hangs low in the sky, casting his clear skin in a rich orange glow. “Ready?”

You return his smile, albeit with a little less vigor. “Let’s get out of here.” When the two of you get inside the car and it pulls down the driveway, there’s no lone figure throwing stones on the perimeter of the property. Your heart tugs in a way you can’t quite articulate.

Though you try not to, it’s impossible not to mentally take stock and compare this experience to your previous nights out. Far more than Jimin and Yoongi, Hoseok keeps you talking. Whether it’s him trying to keep you distracted, or just his natural brand of social vibrance, there isn’t a quiet moment.

It isn’t until the car has wound its way deep into the city that Hoseok gently clears his throat, cutting off his own spiel about his favourite brand of bucket hats. “It seems we’ve reached a crossroads,” he announces meaningfully.

You frown as you glance between the seats and out the front window. “That’s a roundabout, Hoseok.”

His eyes shift. “Metaphorically.”

“And what might this metaphorical crossroads entail?” you ask teasingly, a smile curling your lips.

Hoseok stays uncharacteristically sober, leaning towards you as the car creeps forward in the blocked-up after-work traffic. “Our location, princess,” he says softly.

“I thought we were going to your work?” you respond in confusion.

“At the moment we are,” Hoseok replies. “But there’s a cinema just down the road, several great food places, even this fancy smoothie shop that lets you pick your own ingredients.”

“Okay…” The rhythmic click of the turning light echoes through the backseat, making you feel entranced as you watch Hoseok’s eyes warm, focused on you. “Do you not want to go to your work?”

“This is about you now,” he corrects in a kind but firm voice. “Do you want to go to the Red Room and play?”

“Yes,” you say instinctively, but the dom just shakes his head.

“No,” he states unflinchingly, “I need you to think about it longer than that. Do you feel emotionally, mentally, and physically in a position to do a scene tonight?”

You suck in a breath slowly, taking the time to run over them one by one. Physically was the easiest one. Your sex drive was quickly reconfiguring the longer you spent on the show, and even just a day without any action at all was making you feel a little restless and unsatisfied. Emotionally and mentally gave you pause.

How can you untangle those two when your mind and your heart feel knotted together inside you? Whenever one lights up, the other just reflects it. The moment you think of Jin, guilt overcomes you, but that just sparks your desire to flood yourself with distractions and escapism. But then the thought of being out here, enjoying yourself while he’s still stuck in the Villa, probably seething in hurt or rage or betrayal… The guilt just flares even colder in your chest.

“I don’t know,” you admit after a moment of silence. Hoseok hums once, inviting you to speak further. “I really want to. But I don’t know if I should. I just want to forget about everything, but maybe that’s a bad reason.” You blow out a deep breath, cheeks puffing up. “I don’t know; you’re the BDSM expert. Is it okay if I do it to just distract myself?”

Hoseok stays silent for a moment, eyes roaming over you like he’s searching for something. “That depends,” he answers finally. “If it’s a recurring problem in your life, and you use BDSM as a coping mechanism, then that can be unhealthy. Just like drinks or drugs. But at the same time, it’s very common that BDSM is a way of emotional or mental release. Office workers who feel like they’re working the same 9 to 5 every day with no power might want to feel like they have control and excitement in one area of their lives. Maybe CEOs or lawyers or doctors or parents might want to go to a BDSM club and submit so they finally can release the burden of expectation. To have someone else take care of them and make the decisions for a few hours.”

The dom sighs out slowly, eyes softening in empathy. “Y/n, you know that I can’t tell you whether it’s okay or not. I can’t consent on your behalf. You need to decide for yourself if you’re using this as a release, or as a dependent coping mechanism. Do you understand?”

You nod silently, not trusting your voice for a moment. Though he can’t decide for you, his explanation brings a clarity that strikes deeper than you originally intended. “I want to feel taken care of,” you offer up, voice thin like blown glass as your eyes prickle. “I just want to feel good for tonight, Hobi.”

Hoseok nods with a reassuring smile, reaching out to squeeze your shoulder gently. “Then I have another question, princess,” he starts. “You said you were wanting to forget about everything. Would you enjoy your time more if you played with someone else?”

You’re tugged out of your brief lapse of emotional vulnerability by the statement, cocking your head in confusion. “What do you mean?”

Hoseok’s lip twitches as his eyes brighten a little. “Mistress Bee has an opening that she kept just for you,” he reveals in a honeyed drawl, “if you want to use it. Her and I spoke about it earlier. If you’re anything like me, the constant presence of cameras and the whole competition can start to weigh pretty heavily. I think it might be good for you to let yourself be separate from it entirely for a while. Have some fun for fun’s sake. What do you think?”

The idea is something you’d never considered, yet you can’t deny there’s something incredibly appealing about cutting your ties - even just for an evening - and not having to worry about anything to do with the show. But still, you hesitate. “Where would you be?”

Hoseok shrugs easily. “If you want me to stay, I’ll stay. I could sit near the two of you, or just hang around in the main den so I’m out of sight but still not far. And if you really want some distance, I might just go next door and make myself a custom smoothie. Either way, I’m happy.”

You startle when the car suddenly halts, a jerky job of parking down a side street. You’re here. A strange feeling of urgency overtakes you, like he’ll leave any second. You reach out and clutch at his shirt, feeling the press of buttons against your palm. “I want you to stay,” you say in a rush, knuckles going white.

“I’m here,” Hoseok soothes with warm eyes, unhooking your fingers from his shirt one at a time, before squeezing your hand and resting it back in your lap. “I’ll stay, princess.”

Outside, the air is still warm with the remnants of the set sun, even as lamp posts cast white pools of light onto the pavement. On one side of the car - as it reverses painfully slowly back onto the main street - you can spot the smoothie shop Hoseok was talking about, but on the far side is a Daiso store, and on your side, just in front of you, is the entrance to a cinema complex.

You pause, frowning in confusion, but before you can turn to ask Hoseok, his hand is already on the small of your back, leading you towards the cinema.

“We’re downstairs,” the dom explains, pointing out a sign you’d missed that displays the now-familiar logo of two Rs back to back, beside the B that indicates it’s located in the basement. As he leads you past the small foyer of the cinema and down a set of modest hardwood stairs, his voice lowers. “Although all the walls and ceilings are soundproof, having a bass-boosted movie blasting above you certainly helps drown out the rest of the noise. Gives us a bit more privacy.”

“Clever,” you comment absentmindedly, but your attention has already been caught by the sight that greets you below.

The moment you round the final corner of the narrow stairs, it’s like an entirely different world. Without any natural light, the entryway you step onto is lit mostly with wall sconces, though there’s strip lighting along the very edges of the hallway that glow an ominous red.

In front of you is a roughly oval room. In the centre, a woman with a shaved head and long acrylic nails taps away at a monitor, glancing back and forth from the screen to a large black book just beside it. She glances up when you step down, smirking at Hoseok with clear recognition.

Flanking the outskirts of the room are two bulky bodyguards, and you don’t even notice them until they relax and give him a nod. They seem to protect not only the receptionist but three sets of doors as well.

On the left is a locked door marked with letters engraved onto the wood itself reading STAFF. On the far right, the almost identical door there has no lock, and displays instead CHANGING ROOMS. In the middle, directly behind the desk, are two massive doors with iron handles curved in the shape of flicking devil’s tails, complete with the pointed tips. Instead of any words, each door just has one of the Rs of the logo. Then again, it doesn’t really surprise you that there wasn’t any explicit title or description visible. This was a place that you only went to if you knew where you were going.

“I thought you were taking time off, Sir?” the woman asks in a teasing lilt. She’s almost intimidatingly gorgeous, and you fight the urge to shift closer to Hoseok’s side. Her eyes shift to you nonetheless and her grin widens. “Yet here you are, bearing a gift.”

“Not for sharing, I’m afraid,” Hoseok deflects, and it takes you off-guard to hear the audible difference in his voice compared to what you’re used to. He’s not fully in Master mode, but the bubbly ball of energy has been replaced by the suave charisma of someone who knows he commands the attention of any room. Just as you glance up at him, he looks down with crinkled eyes and lifts the hand on your back up into your hair, not quite tugging, but keeping it there for a moment before he lets his fingers slip through your locks again. He holds your eyes a second longer before turning back to the receptionist. “Red cuffs will do, Sim.”

With a sigh, the receptionist acquiesces, a small silver piercing just below her bottom lip glinting as she shifts and reaches into a drawer at the desk, producing a pair of cuffs that look exactly the same as the ones Hoseok had used on you a few days ago.

She stretches them out towards you, but Hoseok intercepts and chooses to put them on you himself. Though they come connected together by the chain, he unclips and pockets it once the leather is snug around your wrists, leaving you claimed but still free to move. The meaning of the red trim still makes you shiver when you run your fingertips over it, and the sight makes Sim chuckle.

“First time here?” You aren’t sure if the cat-eyed beauty in front of you is asking you directly or Hoseok on your behalf, but you nod anyway. She hums, closing the drawer and pulling a sheet of paper out of another one and placing it on the desktop. “Just because you’re coming in attached to the Big Man doesn’t mean you get to skip the rules. Read them over and sign anywhere on the page to show you’ve understood. And I’ll need to see some ID, verify your age and all that.”

Fumbling to pull your ID out of your wallet, you hand it over and take the photocopy and the outstretched pen from her in turn, scanning the numbered list of rules. There aren’t any surprises, luckily; it reiterates the cuff colouring, safeword systems and staff on site, as well as emergency exits and procedures. There are places to buy drinks and snacks inside, but only spectators can consume alcohol.

“There’s a station for toy rental inside,” Sim explains, handing you back your ID after noting down your details, “with its own set of rules and everything, but I’m sure your Master here will be using his own stash. Our staff wear black clothes with red logos and arm bands, you can’t miss ‘em. Just sign if you’re good, and you two can go on through.”

Hoseok waits while you read, sharing some smalltalk with the two bodyguards in the meantime. Once you sign off and hand the items back to Sim, who dutifully stamps the sheet and files it away, your dom turns to you with a pleased grin. “Shall we?”

The moment Hoseok wraps his slender fingers around those devil tail door handles and pushes them inwards, sound fills the room, no longer held at bay by the seal of soundproofing. Chatter, laughter, the general hum of crowds - they all fill the space around moans and cries and cracks of whips, every possible noise you’d heard on a porn video or experienced over the past three weeks.

It was debauchery in every sense of the word, and Hoseok slipped into the thick of it like a duck in water.

With a single finger hooked onto one of your cuffs by the silver loop, he pulls you in with him, letting you soak in your surroundings as he leads you.

Though you didn’t really have any clear expectations, you’re shocked by the sheer amount of people inside, all gasping at Hoseok and parting in front of him like an adoring sea. The first area is relatively cosy, clearly just meant for socialising.

Couches surround the edges of the room, except for a small bar manned by two insanely hot guys. One effortlessly shakes up a drink, biceps pumping with the motion, and the other chats up a middle-aged woman who appears to flirt back, ignoring the older man kneeling at her feet with a pleading look in his eyes.

They fall out of your sight quickly as you move through a doorway, the sound dropping off just as suddenly. It’s not quite silence that greets you in the next room, however. Just about bumping into a row of occupied seats, Hoseok adjusts your direction so that you move around the back of the room, but that doesn’t stop you from glancing towards the front, where a whimpering girl is strapped to what looks like a medieval set of pillocks by the neck and wrists, her face wet with tears but alight with ecstasy as a gloved man demonstrates to a rapt audience how to fit an entire fist inside her.

Your eyes widen at how openly they display the obscene act. Then again, how is it any different from what you’d been doing in the Villa? Whether it was an audience at home watching through a screen, you’d still let yourself be viewed in much the same way. As Hoseok keeps you stumbling down the back of the room and out a different doorway, you think more about what being that girl on the stage might feel like.

Moving so quickly through the seemingly endless basement, you’re startled when suddenly you’re jolted to a stop in front of an elevator. Hoseok punches in a code that has to be at least seven or so digits on a little keypad beside the doors, before pressing the down arrow.

“Where are we going?” you question, voice still hushed as if you were in the theater.

“Bee’s office,” Hoseok answers simply, but the realisation that you’re about to play with the gorgeous spitfire - with Hoseok watching, no less - fills you with a restless arousal. “She doesn’t know whether you chose to even come here tonight or not, let alone play with her. We’re going to give her a little surprise, princess. I guess I did come bearing a gift after all.”

Once the lift arrives, he steps inside smoothly, no longer holding onto your cuffs. You jump inside, watching him select B2 off the limited selection of floors. “This used to be a carpark,” Hoseok explains casually as you’re slowly lowered down. “But when it got bought by the cinema, they didn’t really need it, so they leased the first below-ground floor to us for a pretty low price. We originally just kept this lift for wheelchair access, but once we got bigger and expanded a little, we decided to move our offices downstairs for an extra layer of privacy.”

The elevator chimes, opening its doors to reveal a hallway similar in appearance to the entrance foyer you first walked into. “But we aren’t going to your office?” you ask, curiosity making your skin itch as he walks right past a door with the letter H on a placard beside the knob.

“Not this time, princess.” Hoseok halts again, and you catch sight of a new door, this one with a B. Spinning on his heel, your dom turns to you and pats your cheeks with a grin, lowering his voice conspiriatorially. “If you’re Bee’s present, we better wrap you up nice, hm?”

Things start to feel distinctly more real when Hoseok undresses you right in that very corridor. You can’t help but worry that somebody could come down in the elevator at any moment, or the service stairs behind you. Watching you squirm with a barely-contained grin, Hoseok does nothing to assuage those fears.

He allows you to keep on your panties, kicking the rest of your clothes to the side and slipping off his own jacket to lay over your shoulders. Though it’s a little big on you, it’s laughably inadequate in covering you up, made of some less-than-opaque black fabric that betrays everything below down to the moles and freckles on your skin. Hoseok looks somehow even more intimidating without the piece on, a fitted tank top exposing his taut shoulders and modestly sculpted arms.

“Knock, princess,” Hoseok instructs, not without the warm hint of fondness that colours his voice.

You do so with a shaky hand - shivering partly from excitement and partly from the chill of air conditioning that fills the hallway.

“I’m busy!” a muffled voice calls out brightly, making Hoseok tut with a rueful smile.

He leans in so that his cheek almost brushes the hard wood. “Do you want to be busier?”

A pause, then footsteps drawing closer.

Before the door even opens fully, Bee is cooing loudly on the other side, clapping her hands in clear joy. “I knew it! Come in, come in!”

Her bubbly personality is at odds with the glossy red latex that covers her body, heels clicking with every skipped step back into her office. Bee waves you in first, letting you enter before you hear her voice lower, asking for permission to touch.

“She’s all yours, feel free to play with her to your heart’s desire,” Hoseok explains easily, making arousal pool between your legs, “the red is for you and me tonight.”

“Splendid,” Bee chirps from behind you, and you jump when you suddenly feel fingers brushing up your spine, even through the thin fabric of Hoseok’s jacket. “Take a seat, chickie, let’s talk.”

In her office, the Mistress shows that same duality of a cheery personality with her dominance. A large corner desk sits in the corner, with a small board of polaroids pinned to the wall and a little terracotta pot of violets and a spray bottle of water just beside it. A small cup with various items of stationery is complete with a tall pen with a fluffy pink pompom on the end, and even from what you can glimpse, it looks like her screensaver on her computer is some stylised LINE friends character.

Yet move your eyes anywhere else in the room, and you see a metal cage in one corner, a flogger hanging from a clothes peg behind the door, various fixtures on the walls, ceiling and furniture that speak of restraint and punishment.

As you perch delicately on a lowset sofa across from her desk, you wonder if Hoseok’s office is much the same. It certainly looks like Bee would take in subs here to play with her, judging by the equipment. Had Hoseok spent evenings with submissive women and men in his office, making them kneel and beg and serve?

The thought stirs something inside you, and for a moment you think it’s jealousy. But then Hoseok beams at you with a salacious wink, settling onto the corner of Bee’s desk, and you realise that it’s less envy and more the feeling like there were parts of him you were missing out on. That there was still so much you had to discover of him, to experience with him.

You wonder if he’ll let you come back to see him here one day, after all this is over.

Suddenly, your view of him is obstructed by the deep red of Bee’s corset and latex pants, her hands on her hips. “You’re looking a little too much at him and not enough at me, chickie,” she croons, almost conspiriatorially as you crane your neck to meet her gaze. She tilts her head, lips curled. “Do we have to send him out?”

You shake your head adamantly, unable to stop your eyes from quickly darting behind her.

She chuckles. “Cute. So soft for her Master.” Your head feels hazy as she slips her fingers into your hair, stroking your head fondly. “I think your Master is soft on you too, baby.”

Without much fanfare, Bee swivels and sits herself down beside you, so close your shoulders and thighs press together. You suck in a breath at the closeness, but the domme just gets closer, flicking your hair over your shoulder and rubbing at the nape of your neck as she watches you intently.

“Did Hobi give you the full tour?” she asks in a low voice, the slight graze of her fingernails making you shiver. “What was your favourite room so far, I wonder?”

You go to shrug, put on the spot so suddenly, but before you can Hoseok pipes up. “The theater,” he states without room for disagreement.

At the thought of the room, you feel desire swim within you. The image of that girl, so vulnerable as a room of at least thirty strangers watched her, analysed her, enjoyed her pleasure just as much as she did. That image hadn’t really left your head since the moment you saw it. Before you even realised it yourself, Hoseok had known. Something about that made you dizzy with your want for him.

But tonight was about Bee, about the intoxicating feeling of being so close to a beautiful, powerful woman. The lady herself hums, pleased. “The theater,” she repeats in a low voice. “Do you like watching, baby?”

“She’s on a porn show,” Hoseok butts in again, his eyes like pointed furnaces on you, wetting his lips between words, “give her more credit than that.”

This time, Bee straightens up and narrows her eyes at the man across from you. “You can stop answering on her behalf, Hoseok, or I’ll put you out myself. You said I get to play with her tonight.”

“Yes, Mistress,” he retorts in a slightly sarcastic, petulant tone, but shoves his hands in his pockets and presses his lips together anyway.

Bee turns back to you, letting her fingers tuck beneath the collar of Hoseok’s jacket so that her palm rests against your bare back. Stroking slowly, she smiles, her eyes glittering. “We can play on the big stage if you want, baby. Would you like that?”

The opportunity, a little bit frightening but mostly extremely arousing, makes you squeeze your thighs together with a hard swallow. “Yes, please,” you mumble in a small voice.

Her smile widens, caramel skin positively glowing in the warm light of her office. “Perfect,” she drawls happily, before standing up, back arching slightly as she stretches. “Then there are a few rules you need to know before I take you out there.”

The two dominants share a look, Hoseok lifting his brow at something written on Bee’s face. “Really?” he questions in surprise, chuckling reluctantly. “You’re going all out, huh?”

Even as confusion overtakes you, you watch in rapt curiosity as Bee shrugs, slipping past him to open a tall, skinny cabinet just behind her desk. There’s a large, dark brown coat there, but her hand delves deeper, pulling out a thin yet tough-looking strand of nylon rope, a suggestive deep red almost the same shade as her bodice.

“I dyed these myself,” Bee explains, her voice light and warm like honey. You watch as she lets the length pass over her palm loosely. “I don’t know if Hoseok told you, but rope bondage is my specialty. If you wear this, everyone out there will know you belong to me.”

You bite your lip, heart racing as she slips off Hoseok’s jacket, chucking it towards him without a glance as she keeps her focus on you. Her eyes gleam as she slips the rope around your back, beginning to loop and fold it. “What are the rules?” you ask, voice already airy with the arousal that peaks your nipples and sends shivers down your spine with every drag of the rope.

If it was possible, Bee appears to have even more subdued prowess with ropes than Hoseok does, her fingers nimble and practiced, moving so quickly that it leaves lines of hot friction against your skin. “The rules?” she repeats casually. “Well, the first one is that I expect you to address me by my proper title. Do you know what that is?”

Swallowing the dryness in your throat, you nod. “Mistress,” you croak out, almost stuttering on the word that feels so unfamiliar on your tongue. Your cheeks heat up, embarrassment only heightened by how close she stands to you, flooding your senses.

“That’s right, chickie,” she praises, tugging the rope suddenly, making sure there’s no give as your bare chest is yanked forward. Satisfied, she tucks the ends in neatly and places her hands on your waist, taking in her work. It’s a basic chest harness, like one you remember Hoseok putting you in, but there’s beautiful flair all over, with arches and keyholes and braids that slip between your breasts, along your spine, shoulders and ribs. Almost like a bralette, the main difference being that your breasts themselves are fully exposed to her - and Hoseok’s - roving gaze.

“Now,” she continues, “rule two. You don’t have permission to speak unless I ask you a question. I used the limit sheet for you that’s on the Bangasm website, but if there are any changes throughout the scene, the only words you can say at any time are your safewords. I’m sure you’re familiar with it, but here at Red we use the stoplight system. Is that clear?”

It’s easier to say the second time. “Yes, mistress.” Still, the excitement low in your belly just grows with the way she nods in approval. Your desire to please sets in quickly, and the rope on your chest and the leather around your wrists feel like a promise of what’s to come if you continue to please her.

Jerking her head to indicate that Hoseok should open the door for her, Bee turns to you and hooks a finger under a strand of the rope, just under your breast. “And the final rule is more important since this is my first time playing with you. If something feels good, you thank me for it. Like this.”

Before you can even process it, lips softer than silk press against yours, chaste but unforgiving as you’re pinned in place by the harness in her grip. She smells sweet, slightly floral like gardenia or jasmine, and she tastes like strawberry chapstick.

When Bee finally pulls away, your head feels hazy, on a lag. Your lips still tingle from the missing contact, but you let out a dreamy, “thank you, Mistress,” without even thinking.

She grins at your reaction and turns towards the door, pulling you behind her with that finger caught on the rope. “God, it’s been so long since I’ve had a sweet girl like you to play with,” she croons back at you, before patting Hoseok on the chest with her free hand. “Thank you for the gift, Hobi.”

There’s a strangely smug feeling inside you as Bee leads you out of the office, back into the chill hallway and up the elevator. Hoseok trails behind, and some part of you is thriving in that feeling of being the focus of his and her attention. And even as you’re led back into the theatre, going right through the middle of the seats before veering off to the right to go behind the wings, the eyes on you feel electric.

Just like that woman that was on the stage earlier - it now sits empty in an interlude, the audience chatting amongst themselves - you feel like a pillar of desire, a pretty thing for everyone to look at, but only for a few to touch. The red cuffs and red rope lift you higher into that headspace, submissive yet superior in a way.

The attention of those strangers is addictive, and any uncertainty disappears with the need for them to replace those brief glances of curiosity with full stares, the kind of intense focus that you’d only receive by being out on that stage.

There are a fair amount of people backstage. At least three or four people in black shirts with STAFF printed in glossy block letters flitter around, chatting to the others or checking equipment. The lady from earlier is still behind there, wrapped up in a fuzzy blanket, like one you’d see in a sick bay in high school. A large man, beefy like a body builder, tenderly hugs her from behind as they sit on a couch, and takes a bottle of lemonade from a staff member, gently encouraging her to drink.

You hear Bee catching the attention of a staff member holding a clipboard, chatting to him, but your attention is caught by the woman. Her face is glistening with tears, sweat and even some drool, and she looks exhausted yet elated, giggling weakly when her dom pats her clean with a paper towel. With a kind of delicate care and patience that seems at odds with his rather aggressive appearance, his lips move close by her ear, words just meant to be shared between the two of them.

When you did intense scenes with the guys, did you look like that? The thought sticks in your mind as Bee’s bright voice remains in the background. There was something so loving and meaningful about the connection that you felt to the guys after a scene like that, and the couple in front of you seems like a physical representation of that emotion.

Suddenly, pain spikes in your chest at the reminder that you’ll never have that connection with Jin again, that every week you’d have less and less moments like those. And instead of cherishing them, you were here, about to do a scene with a near stranger, in front of actual strangers.

Suddenly, your original idea of escaping the Villa doesn’t seem to be as appealing.

Glancing up, that pain turns to alarm as there’s a missing presence around you. Bee is finishing her conversation, waving away the staff member before turning to you, but the two of you stand alone.

“Mistress,” you offer up, biting harshly on your tongue when you realise belatedly you’re breaking her second rule already, “where is Hoseok?”

Before she can furrow her brows for your disobedience, they knit together instead in concern. “He’s getting a good seat in the audience, chickie. Were you not paying attention?”

Your cheeks heat, and you apologise in a rush, letting your eyes dart over to the post-scene couple one last time. She’s fallen asleep, his chin propped up gently on the crown of your head, and you feel like you’re intruding by observing them any longer.

Bee notes your distraction, but just sends you a bemused smile and grasps your chin so that you’re forced to face her. “We’re going to go on now,” she enunciates clearly, and the reminder of reality clears your mind a little, “I’m due to teach a demonstration on bondage, are you okay with that? It’s nothing too intense.”

You nod quickly. Perhaps there was something wrong with you, or perhaps you were just kinkier than you thought, but in your experience, being tied up or tied down felt calming and grounding in a way that you think is necessary given the whole new world of live exhibition that you’re about to undertake. “I’m okay with it, Mistress.”

“Good. Keep our rules in mind, chickie; let’s go have fun.”

For some reason, applause is not something you’d considered, expected or prepared for. Your cheeks heat the moment you step out, lights so bright that the audience is swimming silhouettes, and are met with passionate clapping.

Though you know it’s for Bee - she drinks it in with a proud beam, totally in her element on stage - it’s an audible reminder of the attention on you right now. If your panties weren’t soaked through before, you can definitely feel wetness on your thighs now.

“Thank you, thank you, it’s good to be back up here!” she cheers out, and you jump when her voice reverberates. The sound carries in here so well that just a speaking voice seems to fill the room. You wonder if later on, your own moans will surround you in much the same way.

Bee lets go of her grip on your harness and ducks her head in, quickly instructing you to kneel in a ‘comfortable way’. You’re surprised when the stage floor is solid, yet not as painful as you’d expect on your bare knees. You adjust a bit so that the pressure is off your kneecaps and ankles, and look up at the domme, listening to her spiel.

“Welcome back to our Red Members, and welcome for the first time for any newcomers. My name is Mistress Bee, I’m the resident bondage, suspension and shibari expert here.” She pauses while a few scattered claps ring out, and you preen when she shifts to the side, stroking the top of your head as she continues. “Last week I did a demonstration with the lovely Mikey on some common suspension ties. From week to week, I want to teach you all the ins and outs of suspension, because it’s a very rewarding craft for the dom and the sub, but it’s also pretty complex. So before we get into off-ground suspension, this week I want to show you my favourite intermediate step: sex swings.”

Your heart thuds, glancing up so quickly that her hand falls over your forehead and eyes, but she just smiles placidly down at you and pinches your cheeks playfully, making a few of the audience members chuckle.

“I have a pretty little chickie here with me today to help me out. Seems like she didn’t guess what we were playing with today, huh?”

Unsure whether it’s rhetoric or not, you carefully mutter a, “no, Mistress.”

“It’s a fun surprise, then,” she quips, before turning back to the audience. With slow, clicking steps, she makes her way to the side of the stage you’d come from, gesturing to a couple staff members.

Your mouth goes dry as a industrial-looking metal post gets lowered from the ceiling, running parallel to the ground, but taller than your arms could reach standing up when it groans to a stop. Two guys rush on stage with a black pile of leather and metal, connecting the chains to the metal pole in two different places. The major component is a flat piece of stiff fabric, clearly meant for your body, with two leather loops on one side to prop up your legs. With the way they’ve hooked it up, you’ll be side-on to the audience.

“Sex swings seem a little cheesy,” Bee begins, and you jump when her voice comes from behind you, varnished nails running over the bare skin of your upper shoulders. “But they’re actually a really good stepping stone for suspension. The dom gets used to maneuvering someone else that’s off the ground, and the sub can experience what it’s like not having their weight supported by the floor at all. They’re also far more cost-effective than good quality suspension gear.”

As Bee explains, your eyes wince against the lights, trying to make out the blurred lines of people in the audience. Hoseok was in there, right now, watching you. But you couldn’t see him. Your heart beats a little harder in alarm, but you force yourself to keep in the scene, wanting to make the most of this unique experience.

The jingle of metal echoes through the modest theater as Bee checks the stability of the sex swing, and soon enough she’s instructing you to stand up and come stand in front of it. You do so as quickly as possible without running over, so excited about being put up in the swing for her to play with that you can barely stand still.

“Let’s get these panties off first,” she decides, hooking in a finger and snapping the waistband against your hip to make you jump. You push them down before you can secondguess it, and just like that, you’re naked in front of a room full of strangers.

Getting up into the swing would be a little awkward normally, but Bee’s unending charisma and charm makes it feel easy. She holds it steady while you do a little jump to rest your ass onto the flat bed, then gets you to lie down, praising you warmly even as she gives professional advice to the audience.

Lying down is okay - your head hangs a little off the edge, so that your vision is upside down and your neck is arched, but the fabric is surprisingly comfortable so it’s no imposition - but one she slips those loops past your feet, resting them in the crooks of your knees, everything suddenly feels very real.

This is exposure in a very different sense. There’s not much give in the chains for safety, but it means that your thighs are spread wide open with no way to cover yourself.

Bee’s rapport with the crowd watching is a steady stream of reassurance, but by the time she lifts your wrists, using the clips on the chain and the loops on your cuffs to bind them straight up, leaving you entirely vulnerable, your chest begins to heave, breaths quick and shallow.

“Still with me, chickie?” Bee questions, and you let out a choked moan when she circles round to your top half, cupping your breasts and rolling your nipples between her fingers softly, the contact grounding you. “Give me a colour.”

Remembering Hoseok’s advice, you pause and take a moment to really think it over. “Green, Mistress,” you decide, trembling when she rewards you by sliding her hand down your chest and stomach, two fingers dipping lower to feel how wet you are, stroking your clit. Your back arches, thighs tense, but there’s nowhere you can go to escape the pleasure she gives you. “Th-thank you, Mistress.”

Leaning over you, patting your cheek fondly, Bee beams down at you. “Good girl,” she praises warmly, before glancing out towards the audience. “So well-behaved, isn’t she? Should I give her a quick reward before we continue?”

Your eyes slip shut in bliss as you hear the audience cheer and clap in your favour, imagining one of them to be Hoseok, watching you from below.

After hearing out the crowd, Bee adjusts her position so that instead of up by your head, she’s between your legs, that hand still lazily rubbing over you as the other grips your waist. “Alright, I won’t argue with that,” the domme quips teasingly, and chuckles as you go rigid suddenly when those two fingers plunge inside of you, crooking up to massage your walls.

There’s nothing you can to do move towards or away the touch. The swing has you completely at her mercy, and that just makes every stroke that much more overwhelming. Bee fucks you on her fingers with a swift, unforgiving pace, and you whine as the obscene wet noise echoes throughout the room.

You feel dirty; dripping on stage as your fists wrap around the chains and your pussy tightens around her. But the taboo and debauchery just turns you on more, and the moment she increases to three fingers, you no longer try to hold back or muffle yourself. A loud cry spills from your lips as she presses against your g-spot, and her gleeful chuckle arouses you even more.

The knowledge that an entire roomful of people are watching you is so hot that you feel electric, but it’s the reminder that Hoseok is somewhere amongst them that sends you over the edge. You spasm in the swing as you cum, hard, and Bee doesn’t let up for a moment, taking advantage of your restraints to continue to fuck you through your orgasm, her other hand joining to rub roughly at your clit to make you sob in oversensitivity. It’s not until your toes and fingers tingle with the force of it that she finally slows down, taking her hands off you with a cheery sigh of exertion.

“Thank you, Mistress,” you try to say, though it probably comes out slurred or garbled. You shiver as aftershocks periodically thrum through your veins, making your muscles twitch, and your eyes slip open to the feeling of Bee pressing a chaste kiss of approval to the back of your hand, still bound to the chain.

“Now,” she says, still a little breathless, “onto the main event. One of the more difficult things of…”

Though you try and stay alert, your body is exhausted and satisfied, and the suspension just makes you feel even more floaty than you normally would after a good orgasm. Your mind flits in and out, and you feel at peace until you hear the echoing click click of heels on hard floor, and see the blurry figure of Bee disappearing backstage.

Alarm flares red inside you, making your heart beat overtime and your nerves screech. You wriggle your arms and legs, but there’s no give, and even as you crane your neck to the side, the stage lights prevent you from being able to find your dom in the audience.

There’s no use in trying to stay calm. Even as that clicking returns, Bee already returning to you, you feel unsafe and anxious, the safeword on your tongue.

But it’s not the safeword that comes out when you find your voice. “H-hobi,” you whimper, squeezing your eyes shut as panic flares in your chest.

Before his name has even fully left your lips, there are hands on your shoulder, rough with callouses. There’s the familiar musk that grounds you, and the heat of a body that cradles your head and presses his lips to your temple, cooing sweet nothings to calm you.

Bee’s voice floats around you, apologising profusely not only to you but to the audience too, but as you open your eyes and see Hoseok, his eyes brimming with concern, you burst into tears of pure relief, wishing you could reach out to him.

Like he knows your needs without you even articulating them, he unclips your wrist cuffs from the chains one at a time, slowly helping you sit up as Bee’s hands are on your legs, taking off the loops that had held them spread open earlier.

The moment you’re up, you fall into Hoseok like he’s a lifeline, clinging to him as your tears wet his sleeveless shirt. His skin is hot against yours, and his chest seems to rise and fall faster than normal as he holds you tightly, stroking your hair.

“I’m here,” he chants over and over, the words like liquid comfort cocooning you. The audience slips away, even Bee taking orders from Hoseok on what to go get is tuned out as you lean into that feeling of security that Hoseok’s embrace gives you.

At one point, he wants to move you offstage for some privacy, but your legs won’t stop shaking. Without a word of complaint, he’s lifting you up with one arm under your ass and the other around your back, guiding you to wrap your arms and legs around him.

It’s all too easy to burrow your face into the crook of his neck and breathe in his scent, your heart rate slowing from the spike of adrenaline. By the time his weight shifts, and you feel the smooth, cool leather of a couch beneath you, exhaustion has seeped into your very bones. You barely have enough energy to focus back on his voice, but you force yourself to, blinking blearily as he cups your cheek and meets your gaze.

“I think I know what happened there, what spooked you,” Hoseok says slowly, his eyes deadly serious even as his fingers gently stroke your jaw. “Did you not like not being able to see or touch either of us?” You manage to nod weakly, and Hoseok’s brows furrow in internal guilt. “I’m so sorry,” he apologises hoarsely, “I should’ve warned her before, I should’ve been closer-”

He breaks off as Bee rushes over, face pinched, and hands Hoseok a folded up blanket. The feeling of the soft, yet slightly weighted fabric covering your naked skin feels like heaven, and it calms you just that little bit more.

Hoseok meets your gaze again. “Bee wants to chat to you, princess, to say sorry. Do you want to see her now or talk with her later?”

You feel guilty for saying it, but you just want to selfishly indulge in Hoseok now, no one else. “Later,” you admit, and the domme nods in solemn understanding, bowing her head at the two of you before departing.

“What do you need, Y/n?” Hoseok asks, in a voice so low it could be a whisper. You blink at him, at the deep concern on his face. “What can I do to make you feel okay? To feel safe and calm?”

You know the answer. It’s not something you’d admit normally, not something you’d request were you not feeling so terribly adrift and in need of comfort. You fist your hands in his shirt - wrists still adorned in red cuffs that said you were his - and wet your lips. “Kiss me?”

He pauses long enough that you think he may deny you, but then you feel his chest rumble with the words, “just this once,” before he dips his head and kisses you, slowly and carefully, like you might break. Your heart swells with every slight movement of his lips, but they’re gone all too soon, replaced by your own fingers as you touch your lips in wonder. “Better?” he asks in a strained voice, still stroking your back through the blanket.

“Better,” you reply, though already you miss his lips on yours. But feeling his arms around you, and his heart beat against your ear when you lie down is good enough for you, enough for now.