#but i will survive life goes on etc

[devilofthepit]

i am so much more mentally ill than i was last year but also in different ways. the problems i had a year ago have not gone away but i care significantly less now #growth unfortunately my current problems are now worse.

[akwchi]

when he died - lemon demon

grown!akechi hiding from the public is heavy on my mind

[nonbinaryphantom]

ah shit here comes my tendency for dropping unknowable gods into my fics who have plans that are beyond humanity’s goals

[the-wiggles]

What if I jarjar binksify regulus black what then

[winterspellsfrozenkit]

Maomao's Dislike of Jinshi

So I've been watching Apothecary Diaries and I think people are missing out on the root cause of why Maomao doesn't like Jinshi's interactions with her. It's not because he's too pretty, of high standing, or because she thinks he's annoying/etc., as they're just parts that make up the actual root cause. It's because she knows he's being fake.

Jinshi, because of who he is, where he lives, and how he was raised, covers up his true intentions almost constantly. That was how he trapped Maomao and singled her out as the one who warned Concubine Gyokuyou, after all. The premise to get all the servants in the room, the note telling her to stay put, and making her come with him without telling her where they were going? He let her worry that she was in trouble, so to keep her off-balance when he introduced her to Gyokuyou and also had kept her note to keep her pinned in a corner so she would have to comply with what he and Gyokuyou wanted.

Maomao prefers working with honest people. It's why she never wanted to ascend into the ranks where court politics were a constant presence, because in court politics, you have to assume most people are lying to you on some level. That's why she likes Gyokuyou; Gyokuyou has a similar mentality about the importance of honesty in the people around her and she reciprocates that honesty with the select people she lets her walls down around. When Jinshi is flirting or being super sweet to someone, Maomao knows he's often not being sincere, so when he flirts or acts all sweet with her, she's not going to believe in the sincerity of it because it's dangerous for her if he's not being sincere.

In Maomao's world, a man who makes false promises will not have severe consequences for his actions, unlike the women who fall for them. Growing up where she did and doing the work she did, Maomao knows exactly what kind of damage someone else's lies can bring to someone else who got caught in them. Maomao is not blind to the ugly truths of the world around her, unlike many her age, so interacting with Jinshi, someone who is usually some level of false in almost every encounter with her, is frustrating to her and he won't leave her alone. Lies are a form of poison themselves as they deteriorate a person's life and relationships and if not caught, can lead someone to their death or a fate akin to death, but unlike physical toxins, Maomao can't fix any damage from that kind of societal poison. As someone who wants a lowkey and unremarkable life because it's more peaceful, Jinshi could damage her goals with his falsehoods if she falls for any of them.

And we see that when Jinshi is actually honest about himself and his feelings with her, she treats him better. When he gives her his hairpin, when he's hugging her and crying because of what happened with Ah-Duo, and when he's at the Verdigris House, drowning his sorrows over letting Maomao go from the Rear Palace, Maomao is kinder to him and doesn't look at him with the immediate disdain and suspicion she often throws his way. Maomao even states she prefers the Jinshi, who is more childlike and bratty, which is something we see Gaoshun constantly discourage when Jinshi has those moments where his mask breaks. But in those moments, he's being honest.

For the position of Maomao's love interest, Jinshi's already got one foot ahead of any other guy around Maomao, as he is willing to let Maomao have more freedom in her special interests and gives her things and access to areas that play into her interests, like her dad does, which is more than most men in her society would ever allow. The only reason he actively goes against her toying with poison is he knows exactly what she's going to do with the poisons. But his main hinderance to getting Maomao to like him back is the training of being two-faced that's been ingrained into him for his survival in court. If he was more honest with her, rather than hiding himself under the veneer of a pretty man who is sweet, gets along with everyone, and keeps his knowledge close to the chest, he'd do so much better in earning Maomao's respect and affection.

[katy-l-wood]

Okay, y'all know I'm tumblr's disaster prep auntie or whatever at this point. And you know what worries me most about Twitter getting its throat slit? How it is going to effect disaster response.

I cannot express how valuable Twitter has become when bad shit starts to happen. It stays up when everything else goes down. It works decently when you only have a shitty signal/connection. It allows first responders to immediately push out quick updates on verified accounts, updates that go straight to people's phones without having to weave through a formal process of pushing out a code red warning.

I was able to track the Troublesome Fire and the Marshall Fire because I had push notifications turned on for the relevant Twitter accounts. Because I was able to scroll the hashtags for those fires to track them. I was able to update friends and family in the area with information the news wasn't giving/wasn't aware of because of how fast those situations evolved.

Then there's the resource sharing. People reaching out and saying "hey, I know you just had to run for your life, come to my house, I have an empty guest room and a hot drink." Or saying "hey, the shelter on 8th accepts pets!" After the Marshall Fire, I was able to help out my dad's coworkers who lost their house by tracking down resources they didn't know about because they aren't on Twitter. I was able to get them heaters because the gas was still out at the one family house that survived, but a winter storm blew in after the fire and they only had a gas furnace. They were able to keep their elderly parents warm because of information I got off of Twitter.

Just.

Gah.

I almost wonder if there would be value in a Twitter style clone that is JUST for news stations, first responders, etc.. Anyone can make an account so they can follow the relevant people, but to actually POST you have to be a verified source of news or first responder.

[mysticheathenn]

What Kind Of Love Do You Need?

Hi, Hexlings!

This pick-a-card reading is a Patreon All Tiers reading about what kind of love do you need. This can be romantic, self-love, platonic, or even familial.

This is a general reading, remember to take what resonates and leave what does not. This reading does not supplement your need to seek professional help.

Take your time when choosing your pile. Ask yourself the question and choose the picture that you can’t stop looking at. Listen to your intuition.

Extended Patreon Includes:

How will this love change your life?

Extra Messages

MasterList

Patreon Link

Ko-Fi Donations

Pile l:

What kind of love do you need? Tarot: The Lovers, Ace of Cups, Ace of Pentacles, 6 of Wands, Hanged Man, & Page of Swords.

Romantic. "I want a real love, dark-skinned and Aunt Viv love, [Redacted Part Of Song], That leave a toothbrush at your crib love, And you ain't gotta wonder whether that's your kid love"- J.Cole & Real Love by Mary J. Blige played in my head as I was shuffling pile l. You are in need of a healthy love. The kind of love where you both celebrate each other's wins and even losses, being each other's cheerleader, a shoulder to cry or lean on when life knocks you down, a love where there are no games just pure love, communication, and peace. There is a heavy sense of peace and fulfillment for you, with the kind of love you need. You probably have dated people who wanted nothing but to waste your time, and energy, or even unfortunately use you. You are now working on yourself and if you aren't I feel a glow-up is coming soon where you do work on yourself to help manifest this kind of love into your life because you want a partnership. A true soulmate that was ordained by stars (God, Allah, etc) themselves. There will be no confusion with this kind of love. I'm hearing Greenday- Broken Boulevard but only the part of " I walk a lonely road The only one that I have ever known Don't know where it goes But it's home to me and I walk alone" I feel for some of you those who aren't working on themselves yet you have some ways to go before this kind of love comes into your life. You may still be hurting from your previous relationship or if not still hurting you're in the energy of "Everybody ain't shit and you're better off alone." For others, it's not too far but it's also not going to show up tomorrow the window I am intuitively feeling is within the next two years. This is a long time coming for you pile l. I can feel it's something special. Patreon Post Link

Pile ll:

What kind of love do you need? Tarot: 5 of Pentacles, The Fool, The Hierophant, Ace of Cups, Awakening.

Self-Love. Singleness. Adventure. You are in desperate need of some self-love pile ll. You have been on a wild ride when it comes to allowing others into your life whether platonic or romantic and it's time for you to go into hermit mode for a while. The Tiktok audi "Be by yourself, get to know yourself" which is said in an island accent is coming to mind. You need to figure out who you are pile ll. I feel you have some sort of sense of who you are but you aren't sure if this is actually you or the you that has been crafted by social media, others and their idea of you, or your survival mode you where you crafted parts of yourself and chose the "safe" is to show others who don't like to see your full light because it dims there. There is also a need to let go of some people in your life. I didn't ask Spirit who because if this part resonates you should know. It's typically the first two names that popped in your head when you read the sentence but it's time to let go of people who are not good for you or add any kind of value to your life. Not only getting rid of people but getting rid of the old you. It's time for you to walk into a new light where you are glowing, thriving, and enjoying life how it is meant to be enjoyed instead of barely getting by day by day. You were meant to shine and not follow what everyone else is doing. You were meant to be authentic pile ll. Figure out who you are. Do things you never thought you would never enjoy and do them. Learn some new skills and hobbies. Take an Eat Pray Love trip even if it's just a trip to New York, Miami, Atlanta, Los Angeles, or even fucking Houston Texas if that is more your speed. Get out of your comfort zone. Shed your survival mode personality and shine. It's time for a new adventure. It's time to release this old story you keep playing over and over and start something fresh. What are you waiting for? Patreon Post Link

Pile lll:

What kind of love do you need? Tarot: 5 of Cups, Queen of Swords, 10 of Wands, Knight of Wands, 3 of Pentacles.

Friendship.Self-Care. There is this feeling that you pile lll are the type that likes to do everything themselves without bothering anyone. You may also like to say sorry a lot even when you didn't do anything as well as just not tell people how you are really feeling going through your struggles alone. Please stop. If you have people around you who truly care about your well-being please do let them know how you really are doing. There is nothing worse than having a friend going through things in silence and later on axe themselves off (speaking from experience). You do not have to suffer in silence pile lll. There are people in this world who would or do care about you and your well-being and want to take the load off of your shoulders. Stop being the strong independent cap that social media keeps trying to feed people with the whole grind and stay silent. Stay silent when it comes to goals until they happen, not your well-being. For others of you the kind of love you need is self-care other than taking better care of yourself this is more so having to do with your skills, abilities, and even your career. Some of you want to do more in your career whether it's at the job you are currently at, in the same field, or wanting to do something differently and this is the time to do so. Start learning and sharpening up your skills. Even sharpening up your mind whether it's reading more books maybe by Robert Greene on Mastery or Art of Seduction, learning languages, or whatever it is that you want to do to sharpen your mind ow is the time to do so. Patreon Post Link

Pile lV:

What kind of love do you need? Tarot: Ace of Swords, The Hermit, Awakening, Page of Cups, 3 of Cups

Singleness. Self Love. You may have been drawn to pile ll because they have received a similar reading to what your reading is about to hold on being by yourself, yours is just a little different. Pile ll reading was more so on finding themselves and getting to know themselves while your pile is more focused on loving yourself. Loving who you are and who you have become as a person because I feel a sense that it wasn't easy to become who you are today. You had to fight along the way to become the person you are because many people have probably tried to turn you hard, cold, assertive, or just overall mean and you had to fight to maintain a little bit of kindness, compassion, and some love you feel for others because you know that what others say and do to some people is not a reflection on you but them it's how you respond that is a reflection on you. This is a season of celebrating who you are and loving every inch of yourself. Whether you have body fat, a temper, watching weird shit, whatever it is that others try to put you down for and you somewhat have allowed to let those thoughts creep in this is your time to rebuke them and go forth in loving who you are and what you like. This is a time to go inward and really hone in the ability to not waver on what makes you you. Basically setting boundaries more so for yourself than for others while still remaining loving and kind to yourself. Your pile may also be a bit short like pile lll because it's quite straight to the point with no extra messages. The love you need is the love from yourself. Loving everything about you. Whether you hate your skin tone, voice, body, your interest, whatever it is embrace your flaws, embrace the many things people have been trying to put you down for, and let your beacon shine bright. You were meant to be who you are and nobody else. Don't let the ugliness of the world change who you are. Patreon Post Link

Thank you for liking and reblogging my readings. I always appreciate you guys on here and on Patreon.

Stay Safe and Be Blessed

[youremyheaven]

The Strictness of Saturn: Giga Chads, Scammers & Spiritual Gurus

Lately, I have been contemplating the energies of Saturn and how it manifests in men and it brought me to the realization that Saturnian men are the type of men that other men idolize and look up to. There are always certain male celebrities that other men fawn over but women dgaf about and they usually tend to be Saturnian as well. Why do men worship Saturnian men? For starters, the world we live is a deeply Saturnian one, with law and order, systems and regulations and structure. The general narrative is that in order to be successful in life, you have to "hustle and grind" and work hard and that you'll be rewarded for it. This is essentially the theme of Saturn. Saturn is also a masculine planet and a malefic. We live in a capitalist society where the working culture is designed with men in mind. Be it the 9 to 5 or the culture of conquest and domination (in business, politics, colonization etc) are all aggressively yang. You do all of it to make more profit to buy/accumulate more stuff, this is a deeply patriarchal worldview because yang energy is one that is fixated on "accumulation". Therefore to thrive in this world, its important to have a strong Saturn and the kind of people who thrive in this set up, aka men, look up to and admire other men who exemplify such Saturnian qualities.

I'm going to start with the most notorious example of this Saturn worship by men

Andrew Tate, Anuradha Sun & Moon

Tate's brand of hyper-toxic masculinity and his "hustler university" is so wildly misogynistic it's insane. Yet it appeals to many men.

In one video, Tate describes how he would deal with a woman who accused him of cheating: “It’s bang out the machete, boom in her face and grip her by the neck. Shut up bitch.” He’s argued that women are a man’s property, shouldn’t drive, and shouldn’t leave the home if they’re in a relationship. He claims only to date 18 and 19 year olds as it’s easier to “imprint” on them, and in a now deleted YouTube video, Tate claimed that “about 40 per cent” of the reason he moved to Romania is that he believed police in Eastern Europe would be less likely to pursue rape allegations.

Tate seems to represent the lifestyle that most men dream of (wealthy) and he presents himself as ultra masculine/alpha like which is every man's dream but the thing is extreme behaviour of any sort comes across like that person is overcompensating for something.

Machoism and machismo are what men use to signal to other men that they're not to be messed with. Its a very primitive display of behaviour that probably goes back to the cave men era where men had to rely on physical strength and brute force to survive. But no man who is actually secure in himself will feel the need to aggressively display his "masculinity" by spewing absolutely vile hateful nonsense against women or other people. Toxic masculinity is rooted in narcissism and self centeredness; these men want to be the best among men (more rich, more powerful, get more girls etc). Its a gross by product of male insecurity because truth be told men grossly overestimate the standards women have for their romantic partners.

they seem to have a scarcity mindset about how no women would want to be with a deadbeat ugly loser (i mean, duh) but believing that every single woman would only date 6’4” dudes with 12 abs and rolexes isn't true either. majority of heterosexual relationships feature a gorgeous girl with a guy who looks like a gnome. many women date absolutely hideous men who are broke just because they have sweet personalities and are nice to be around.

but male insecurity leads to incel behaviour because they believe that the reason women dont go for them is because they're ugly or broke when usually the reason women dont go for them is because theyre an asshole. by blaming women for not sleeping with them or dating them, they get to conveniently shift attention from the fact that they have absolutely nothing to offer and also, women dont owe charity sex to lame, rude, broke, ugly men?

men underestimate just how much personality matters. and by pretending that being the "alpha" will get them women, they're feeding their own masculine egos because women literally just want a guy who is sweet, texts them back regularly, listens to them and isn't a complete asshole. you never hear a woman talk about being into "alphas". its literally just a male fantasy that is completely severed from what real people are like or what real people want. its like how men believe the "Cool Girl" exists, they write female characters to be quirky, nerdy but above all hot and constantly feeding their male ego, they also write male characters to be macho, alpha, dominating other men and women because they want to be like these men.

anyways lol went off on a tangent (me with every post)

Saturn is considered a malefic not because of how it represents "karma" or "discipline" its because Saturn overdoes the strictness, commitment and discipline and "hard work" associated with it. You may work hard but you can't always tell if you're working hard enough or why your hard work isn't translating to results/rewards. That is the energy of Saturn. You overdo things and go beyond the extra mile. This may sound like a good thing because we live in a world that values these traits but it can manifest in many unpleasant ways bc pushing yourself that hard means risking burnout out and it's actually unhealthy to swing into such extremes? You can live a good life without living like a monk or a soldier which is what a lot of hustle/self-improvement coaches advocate for. This is a negative manifestation of Saturn; believing that deprivation, scarcity and harshness are the only way to get things done or that "tough love" is the answer.

Hunter Moore has a Saturn stellium (Mercury & Venus in UBP and Saturn in Anuradha)

He was a predecessor to Andrew Tate who posted intimate photos (some acquired through hacking, and many nonconsensually submitted) of women with their Facebook details on IsAnyoneUp.com (he's a convicted criminal)

He's an early example of a toxic masculine internet influencer who spewed misogyny and was worshiped by many dudebros.

Solar men may be Chads who just want to hang out with other men but they are NOT like these Saturnians. If we're going to think of Sun as the most masculine or "yang" planet, it also means they're masculine to the point of being almost feminine, if that makes sense? The qualities of preferring other male company, valuing male friendships and wishing to keep women at an arm's length (under the guise of "independence" or "non-attachment") are similar to behaviours shown by women described as a "girls girl". Solar people of either gender have a very welcoming, positive energy but they're often virtually sexless. (there are exceptions to everything ofc) but these are not people known for being highly sexually desirable. They're likable and have qualities/traits that make them "wanted" but Solar energy is too self-centered to be sexually appealing. Sun is the centre of our solar system, it's used to being the source of light and does not have the same need to achieve things the way Saturnians do for whom accomplishment has its origins in insecurity and the desire to overcompensate for what they lack. Solar ambition is rooted in their belief that they're the best and deserve to be at the top of the world and refusal to settle for anything less. Those are two very different approaches.

Tom Hardy, Uttaraphalguni Sun, Chitra Moon once said:

“A lot of people say I seem masculine, but I don’t feel it,” Hardy confessed. “I feel intrinsically feminine. I’d love to be one of the boys but I always felt a bit on the outside. Maybe my masculine qualities come from overcompensating because I’m not one of the boys.”

Tbh this could be a generalization but I feel like I have seldom seen Solar men present themselves as mega alpha hypermasculine figures. They are often perceived that way but they're not personally like that. They're more boyish, more youthful than aggressively "manly". They actually represent a more indulgent "frat boy" type of masculinity than the alpha male ideal presented by many Saturn men.

I'll cite some examples of famous men who are popular among men and not so much among women

Jason Momoa- Pushya Stellium (Sun, Mercury & Venus)

Men love to talk about him like he's a God or something because he represents the kind of masculinity that other men want to embody. 6'5 bulky beefcake build and has this uber-masculine personality.

Like all Saturnian men, he's also known for making crass, tasteless remarks like the time he said at ComicCon:

“But as far as sci-fi and fantasy, I love that genre because there are so many things you can do, like rip someone’s tongue out of their throat and get away with it and rape beautiful women"

In 2011 during an interview he said:

"Yeah, I’m raping Emilia [Clarke]” he said. “I love her, but I’m hurting her and she’s crying. We could have made it longer, but you get the idea. I’m not a rapist. I prefer my women to enjoy sex.”

All of these statements reek of the smug asshole Saturn alpha-chad vibes like he really thought he did something by saying it. You just know that he was saying it for other men to laugh to🤢🤮🤮

Saturnian men lack social grace and manners and are literal troglodytes

Sam Levinson- Pushya Moon

everything he has ever made is SO male gaze-y, be it Euphoria or The Idol. he literally makes torture porn and all his female characters are treated like shit with absolute shitheads written as the male protagonist

The Idol portrays an absolutely vile toxic relationship where the woman is literally treated like scum. He sidelined his female collaborator on The Idol and reworked the show to suit his shitty male gaze. The show Euphoria was also stolen from photographer Petra Collins' aesthetic. Here's what she said:

he's also just known for being an asshole in general. several female cast members on euphoria asked Sam if they could cut down on the nudity (first of all, i think making a highschool drama, casting grown adults and getting away with depicting gratuitous sex scenes is fucked up on its own)

Sydney Sweeney had said:

“There are moments where Cassie was supposed to be shirtless and I would tell Sam, ‘I don't really think that's necessary here,’” she told the Independent. “He was like, ‘OK, we don't need it.’”

Jason Statham- Pushya Sun, UBP Moon

Jason is another example of a man who is idolized by men. He's known for playing menacing tough guys in action movies who are sometimes complete psychopaths and has the brooding toxic violent masculinity that men get off to.

Tom Brady, UBP Moon

He is another male celebrity whom men fawn over.

Chris Evans, Anuradha Rising

Chris is arguably more popular among men than he is among women. He's too plain and boring to appeal to the female gaze truth be told.

DJ Khaled, Anuradha Sun conjunct Mercury (and Saturn in Pushya)

DJ Khaled is in general known for being an obnoxious, egotistical, pompous asshole further confirming the rumours about how self-obsessed, vain, downright delusional and mannerless Saturnian men are.

In 2014, DJ Khaled revealed in an interview that he never performs oral sex on women. The full quote goes like this:

"It's certain things I just don't do. I believe a woman should praise the man, the King." "If you holding it down for your woman, I feel like the woman should praise and the man should praise the Queen," he continued. "But, you know, my way of praising is called, 'How was dinner? You like the house you living in? You like all them clothes you getting? I'm taking care of your family, I'm taking care of my family"

When host Angela Yee asked Khaled if he "goes down" on his longtime girlfriend, he replied, "Nah, never. Nah, I can't do that. Hell nah...I can't do that. I don't do that."

Yee asked Khaled if he would be okay with his girlfriend not giving him oral sex, to which he said, "Nah, it's not okay. You gotta understand I'm the Don, I'm the King."

She told Khaled she doesn't think the double standard is fair. Khaled said, "It's different rules for men. You gotta understand, we the King. There are some things that you guys might not wanna do or wanna do. It gotta get done. I just can't do what you want me to do. I just can't," he added.

This literally sums up how Saturnian men see themselves versus how they see women.

Logan Paul, UBP Sun & Mercury

In 2017 Paul was accused of sexist behaviour with the release of his song "No Handlebars." The track, which samples 2008's "Handlebars" by Flobots, changes the original song's lyrics from "I can ride my bike with no handlebars," to "I can ride your girl with no handlebars." The video shows Paul mounting three women who have positioned themselves to act as a bicycle. This wasn't the first time Paul was accused of sexist behavior, famously releasing a now-deleted Vine with controversial Vine star Sam Pepper in which the pair lassoed women as a way of courting them.

In 2018, in one of the first videos back from his infamous post-Suicide Forest hiatus, Paul can be seen lifting a live koi fish out of water and moving it like a toy boat, as well as tasing dead rats. 

In January 2023, fans were outraged when Paul's former pet pig, Pearl, was found abandoned and injured in a field by the nonprofit The Gentle Barn. In the past, he had put his Pomeranian in seemingly stressful situations for YouTube videos, like introducing him to an actual tiger and putting him in a bucket to zipline him off the roof.

In fact, animal abuse/cruelty seems to be a recurring theme with many Saturnians, both men and women. I think so many Saturnians are notorious for abusing animals because their desire for domination and control manifests most through people who cannot fight back. Obviously being abusive to women and expressing desire to subjugate them is another extension of this Saturnian tendency but it is very telling how a Saturnian can and will dominate, control and abuse absolutely every living being they come across.

many years ago, Kim Kardashian, UBP Moon went viral for holding a cat like a toy and many people said it was abusive behaviour

Kristi Noem, Anuradha Sun, Ketu in Pushya

She recently came under fire for revealing in her memoir how she shot and killed her dog who was difficult to train along with her goat who she hated? Idk how callous you have to be to describe in detail (her exact words and excerpts from the book are available online, I dont feel like repeating it here) how you murdered your pets?? idk how insane you have to be to even publicly admit something like that??

Paris Hilton- Pushya Moon conjunct Rahu

Paris is notorious for how she prefers teacup sized dogs and for anybody who does not know, when animals are specially bred to be an unnaturally small size (bc people think small dogs are "cute") they really struggle with their health a lot bc their bodies are too small to hold all their organs and they struggle with respiratory issues along with being more susceptible to diseases and having weaker immunity. Breeding dogs is absolutely inhumane and cruel. imagine saying you want a cute tiny dog when being that small means that dog lives a much shorter life and a much more arduous one as well?

But Paris isn't just guilty of this but is notorious for neglecting her pets. Los Angeles Animal Services finally interfered after rumours that staff had found a dead puppy in one of Paris’ closets. This was one of Paris’ ways of handling dogs when she got annoyed: lock them away in a different area of the house and then forget about them.

After her documentary came about, many have also accused Paris of being a neglectful mother. Her own sister, Nicky Hilton once said that Paris was too selfish to be a mother and unfortunately 😬it sort of looks like its true? Paris basically left her newborn baby with his nannies and complained about having to "work a lot" when the truth is she's a multimillionaire who can afford to take time off to bond with her newborn?? she treats her babies like props to pose with. if you watch the show you'll know what I mean. her whole attitude and demeanour made it seem like she did not gaf about her kid. She also very callously said she was doing egg retrieval over and over because she wanted a girl and kept getting boys?? idk what happened to the other embryos but its a bit icky to admit that you kind of have a designer baby? On the show, her son was supposed to get circumcised and she says she doesn’t want to be there because it’s too painful for her. How painful is it going to be for your baby?!

On the same show, she also said casually that five of her dogs got ate by coyotes on different occasions? and she cloned two of her deceased dogs??

Shane Dawson, Pushya Sun, Mars in UBP

Shane is a sociopathic asshole in general but in 2015 on a podcast, he, in very graphic detail, explained how he inserted his penis into his cat and then ejaculated onto it as well. His exact words were, "One time I laid my cat down on her back...I moved her little chicken legs spread open or whatever," "I came all over the cat. It was like my first sexual experience...I was also like 19." After this was brought back up in March 2019, he then tweeted saying “I didn’t fuck my cat. I didn’t cum on my cat. I didn’t put my dick anywhere near my cat. I’ve never done anything weird with my cats.” 🤮🤢🤮🤢

Mitt Romney, Anuradha Moon, Jupiter & Ketu

He infamously tied his pet dog in a kennel to the roof of his car for a cross-country trip.

Ted Bundy, Anuradha Sun

Serial killers usually abuse animals as children and there have been studies that link animal cruelty to future psychopathic behaviour. Ted used to abuse the neighbourhood dogs. He shot one neighbour's dog because according to him, the dog was an "evil force" that compelled him to kill. Bundy used to watch as his own father tortured animals.

Angelina Jolie, Pushya Rising

I used to suspect her of being Punarvasu Rising but I came across a 90s interview where she admits to abusing her pets which makes me think she is indeed Pushya Rising lol

"I had a dog and I ended up beating him, and he got sick and... I've hurt so many—I am just not a good animal person... I had a rabbit that died, too... a cage fell on him..."That happened when she was six. But then I had a hamster... I took him in the shower. He died of pneumonia. I had a bunch of little lizards. My friend left them in the sun, and I came back and they were just... my snake, I tried to kill."

Another thing I've noticed with Saturnian men is how they usually scam their way to the top? Deceit, duplicity, being a con artist and a scammer are also common among Saturnian men (Andrew Tate included). They have vv right wing views, especially regarding women and they're also entirely dishonest?

Lance Armstrong, Jupiter in Anuradha in 1h

He was stripped of his tour de france titles after it was revealed that he used performance-enhancing drugs and cheated on his doping tests??

Emily Ratajkowski, UBP Moon & Pushya Stellium (Venus, Mars & Jupiter)

Her bikini wear brand Inamorata has come under fire for not shipping any of their orders?? last year lol. Her brand has also been criticized for selling poor quality bikinis that are tacky and garish

Jennifer Lopez, Pushya Sun, Mercury & Rising

Apart from the fact that J Lo does not sing her own songs and has essentially scammed her way to the top, her numerous business ventures over the years including her Sephora skincare line, Kohl's clothing line etc have all been absolutely horrible, even her perfumes are apparently terrible lol

Anna Delvey has Jupiter & Ketu in Pushya

She is an infamous con artist and fraudster who posed as a wealthy heiress to access upper-class New York social and art scenes from 2013 to 2017. 

Back to the theme of Saturnians being abusive, here are some more examples:

Colleen Ballinger, Anuradha Sun

She was accused of grooming her underage fans and being creepy to them and she responded to that with a ukulele song? Her ex-husband reacted to the weird apology saying "This behaviour was my reality anytime I spoke up & disagreed with her actions & rhetoric during 2009-2016. I was gaslit too. I was made to feel like I was always the problem. Any pain I felt was an inconvenience and was belittled. Every ounce of what you’re feeling, I understand."

As someone who used to watch them in the early 2010s (I feel super old) I know for a fact that Colleen was a major asshole to Josh (her ex husband) and always acted like, since she was more successful than him, she had the "upper hand". She's a toxic narcissist and I hated the way she treated all the people in her life like they're all her glorified assistants or something ugh

David Dobrik, Pushya Sun, Saturn in UBP

If you've watched any of his content, you do know that he uses people around him for "vlog content" and often does really crass, distasteful, offensive, weird, inappropriate shit to his friends for clout? he was rightfully accused of setting up the stage for one of his friends to sexually abuse a minor

Russell Brand, UBP Moon

He has been accused or rape, sexual assault and emotional abuse by 4 women

He's like the spiritual hippie avatar of a toxic alpha chad and he used to be heavily involved in the Ra Ma Yoga place that was essentially a cult

Haile Selassie, Anuradha Moon

This is a more extreme example of men (and women) worshipping a Saturn man, in this case quite literally. Haile Selassie was the emperor of Ethiopia. In the 1930s when he initially became emperor, Rastafarianism emerged in Jamaica and Rastafaris believed that Haile was the second coming of Christ and is perceived as a prophet.

Sri Sathya Sai Baba, Anuradha Stellium (Sun, Mercury, Venus & Saturn)

Sai Baba was a guru who was revered by his followers and literally thought of as God. however, he was embroiled in several scandals in his lifetime including child molestation. Its really hard to dig up info about Indian gurus because they started doing their stuff in the pre-internet era and because its really easy to get away with virtually any kind of abuse under the guise of religion and spirituality in India.

Another guru with major Saturnian energy was Anandamayi Ma who had UBP Rising.

There will be a part 2, where I'll explore more about Saturnian energies and how it manifests in women etc<3 But I hope this post was interesting <3

[rpmemesbyarat]

If animals, real or imaginary, feature heavily in your story, give this a read. In fiction, carnivores are frequently depicted as incredibly vicious and as attacking every other living creature on sight, whereas herbivores are depicted as gentle, benign, and typically only hurt humans on accident if they panic, such as by rearing or stampeding. This is bullshit. Firstly, many herbivores are incredibly vicious and are in fact far more likely to attack a person just for being nearby. This especially goes for large herd ungulates like rhinos, hippos, Cape buffalo, and moose. All of these are highly aggressive to humans and in general. Bison are considerably more chill than their African cousins, but they still send tourists flying (sometimes to their graves) in Yellowstone due to people trying to get too close and treat them like a petting zoo. Deer, often imagined as the pinnacle of fearful and delicate, will typically choose flight over fight. . .but should they choose to fight, especially a male in rut or a female with a fawn, they can and will kill a human being. Even a rabbit will do its best to fuck someone up if they feel they are threatened. Remember, every animal will fight for its life with all its got, and to herbivores, EVERYTHING is a potential threat. If an animal they’re not familiar with as “safe” is nearby, they will assume it’s a threat. There are some prey animals that are surprisingly docile---videos I’ve seen of people interacting with a wild potoroo and a Bosavi wooly rat show them to be incredibly chill, and the quokka is famous for its lack of fear towards humans—but these are the exception, not the rule. Wild carnivores aren’t cute pets just waiting for the right special animal-loving protagonist to take them home, but they aren’t these constantly-aggressive, constantly-angry, constantly-ravenous monsters either that so much media makes out. They most certainly will hunt when they’re hungry, and in the rare instance they decide to make a meal of a human, that human is indeed fucked (it’s hilarious to me how many people think they could fight off a lion, tiger, etc.) but unless it’s truly starving and desperate* most of them are not going to make a point of pursuing a potential meal, human or otherwise, to the exclusion of all else. Especially not if there’s other options around. Why expend all these energy chasing after the protagonists if there’s literally anything else they could catch and eat instead? And why do so many of these monster-animals seem so interested in catching and killing the protagonists, but not in actually eating them; a ridiculous number of predators in fiction will straight-up leave the body of a person they JUST killed behind in order to catch another human. Why? This makes no sense, I don’t care if it’s a fictional animal like a dragon or manticore, it’s not conducive to survival. Unless this animal is MEANT to have an actual sentient grudge (which CAN happen, a man in Russia once shot a tiger and took its kill; the tiger waited for him in his cabin when he returned) do away with the Super Persistent Predator trope. Especially when it’s an animal like a great white shark, whose preferred prey not only isn’t humans, we’re actually downright nasty to them because we don’t have the fat content of the seals and sea lions they typically eat (most great white “attacks” are just them checking us out or mistaking us for a delicious sea mammal) There are exceptions to this rant, though most are small creatures. For instance, stoats do engage in “surplus killing” and stockpile the bodies, and shrews are very aggressive little predators due to having incredibly fast metabolisms that mean they basically have to eat all the time to stay alive. And, yes, there are some large ones; the tiger shark will eat anything, bull sharks are pretty bad to be around, and the polar bear has actively hunted humans when the opportunity presents itself. But as with the “super gentle chill wild herbivore that is basically domesticated” they are the exceptions. And I’m sure you know of other exceptions; the fact they are “exceptions” in the first place means it’s NOT the norm. If there’s a reason the animals in your story are hyper-aggressive and persistent to a point they seem almost consciously evil, that’s fine---genetically engineered that way, for instance---but have there be a REASON. It’s seldom the default in nature. Think of it this way: You’d fight a lot harder to save your life than you would to get a hamburger (unless saving your life required that hamburger). Consider that when you write real animals, and when you craft fictional ones.  (* Which admittedly most real life man-eaters are; most large mammals that turn to actively hunting humans have been sick, elderly, or injured in such a way they can’t pursue their normal prey. But in fiction, the animals that are absurdly focused on eating humans alone always seem in perfect health and are seldom revealed as otherwise, or even having a reason at all. It’s just presented as their default behavior. Which it is not. That’s the point of this rant.)

[flowercrowngods]

hello i’m attempting something for steddie week too, but it'll be one large thing probably @steddie-week

day 01: pining

2 new messages

eddie The Problem munson: —steeb —esteban —stefano  —stevie —love of my life apple of my eye pls pls tell me i can call you  —i am very chill etc etc —no i’m not  —let me call youuuu  —😠🥺🙏

Steve snorts as he picks up his phone and reads Eddie’s messages that keep coming in his usual spam of consciousness, a giddy feeling spreading in his chest as he snorts and goes to answer. 

— Call me then, coward 

Not a second later, his phone rings. Steve picks up immediately, even though he considers making Eddie wait; just to be difficult. Just to calm his racing heart that is always so lively around Eddie. 

“What,” he says, attempting to sound bored and annoyed — in vain, because even he can hear the smile on his face. Traitor, he thinks to himself. 

“Steve,” Eddie sing-songs, drawing out Steve’s name like he does every time he’s happy. “Steve, Steve, Stevie.” 

“Ed, Ed, Eddie,” he sings back, relaxing into his couch and shutting the laptop. Lesson planning can wait, he decides, shuffling all the loose pages into the text book and placing his laptop on the pile, trusting that physics won’t betray him. “What’s got you so happy, hm?” 

“Why do you think I’m happy?” Damn idiot has a smile on his face as he asks that, Steve can hear it. It makes his own grin widen and he huffs into the phone. 

“I literally know you, babe.” 

Babe. His heart flutters every time he says it — and he tries not to, because it’s meaningless, it’ll never happen. But Eddie picks it back up every time, and Steve is weak. God, he is so, so weak. 

On the other end, Eddie hums and Steve basks in the sound for a moment. It’s always so contagious, Eddie’s happiness, and he wants to soak it all up. Wants to be the reason for it. Wants, wants, wants. 

“You do,” Eddie says, his voice so light and fond it makes Steve’s whole body tingle. And his heart flutter. And it fills him with such happiness that he feels like he could take on the entire world right now, just with the way Eddie’s voice went all soft on him. 

God, he’s hopeless. So, so hopeless. But he’s also weak. An addict, leeching off Eddie’s attention, getting a kick out of the smallest dose, and absolutely certain he couldn’t survive if it were taken from him. He needs it. Even if it kills him a little bit, because— 

“She said yes.” 

Steve blinks. “Huh?” 

“Chrissy. She said— She said yes, Stevie. We’re getting married.” 

He says it and he sounds so happy. So, so happy. And Steve is the world’s worst best friend for the way he freezes, the way he almost drops his phone if it weren’t for the vice grip he has on it, frozen in time and space because his heart has stopped beating. It has stopped, surely, because no beating heart can hurt this much. No beating heart can crack open and still work the way it used to three, five, seven seconds ago. 

Eddie, bless his entire soul, laughs to fill the silence, and it’s the happiest sound. A boyish one, like there is no pain in the world and not a worry on his mind. A bit hysterical, too. Like he can’t believe it himself yet. Like this is the best day of his life and saying it again has reminded him of it. At least that’s what Steve imagines it feels like when someone wants to be married to you. He wouldn’t know, of course, as the only person he would ever ask is already engaged to someone else. Apparently. 

Eddie is engaged. 

Engaged and laughing and so, so happy. 

And Steve feels nauseous. Dizzy. Breathless. His eyes begin to sting and the hand that’s holding his phone begins to tremble, his grip so tight it hurts. 

Steve feels… too much. His hands tremble and he tries hard not to cry. 

“You’re getting married.” 

“We’re getting married.” 

They’re getting married. 

Fuck. 

Someone has to tell Robin. Because in true Platonic Soulmate manner, Steve and Robin fell in love with the two people who are in love with each other. Like the chaotic mess they are. 

“Sorry I didn’t tell you about it sooner,” Eddie continues, a bit more sober now. Sounding genuine and sufficiently awkward about it, in true Eddie-manner. Like the big old softie he secretly is. “I would have, but…” 

But I know you’re in love with me and didn’t want to burden you with the love I carry for someone who isn’t you, Steve’s brain auto-fills helpfully. But you keep flirting with me and there was never room for someone else when I was with you. 

But, but, but— 

He swallows and drags in a deep breath past the pain in his throat where all the words he can never say are forming a massive lump. 

“Hey man, don’t worry about that, we all know I suck at keeping secrets,” he offers. And it’s a lie, because he has kept this one thing secret for years and years. This one thing, this huge and all-encompassing thing that he can feel in the tips of his fingers when he is texting Eddie, and on his tongue when they are talking, and in his heart even when he is sleeping. 

This one thing, this one secret, is his never-ending love for Eddie. 

And he will add another one to that, a lovely little friend for it. To keep it company. That other secret, of course, will be the way his heart has shattered into a million little pieces and will remain that way until he can’t even look at Eddie anymore. And even then will he look at Eddie and smile at him, and Eddie will smile back and the pain will flare up again.

Again and again and again, for the rest of their lives. Possibly even beyond that. 

“You do suck at that,” Eddie chuckles, though it is quieter this time, almost private. Fond. Gentle. Always, always like that. It used to mean something once. And if Steve closes his eyes, he can imagine that Eddie smiles his secret smile, the one Steve has only seen directed at himself. It almost breaks him. 

Eddie’s I have known you for a whole eternity and love you beyond words, silly, but you also make my life so much harder-smile. That’s what he has dubbed it because that is what Eddie had said the first time he smiled like that when Steve was drunk off his ass. 

But. But, but, but— 

It’s no use to think of that now, to reminisce and imagine what might have been if… Well. If Steve weren’t Steve. 

And that sure is a dark path he doesn’t want to trudge now, not in the face of the even darker path of Eddie getting married that he sure as hell will have to walk down for the rest of his life. 

He sighs and tries to think of something to say. Something good. Something that is not Please don’t marry Chrissy. Please don’t take yourself away from me. Please. Please don’t get married to anyone who isn’t me. Please open your eyes and see me, please listen to me, please understand what I say when I say I love you. Please.  

He kind of spaces out for the rest of the conversation, not really listening to Eddie’s words over the ringing in his ears and the pumping beat of his shattered heart. 

Eddie speaks softly to him, the undercurrent of happiness and contentment still in his voice, and it would give Steve life, it would be contagious, it would be so very precious if it didn’t also drive the knife of pain ever deeper into Steve’s entire soul, slicing him apart with no one around to put him back together again.  

Splitting him in half. One half that just wants Eddie to be happy, to sound like he does right now for ever and ever. And the other half, loathing that Eddie’s happiness is not inspired by him, not because of him, not in any sort of relation to him. 

It’s not fair. And Steve is torn. So he shuts himself off and lets Eddie ramble, tells him that he is tired after pulling an all-nighter again and wrangling the his difficult seventh graders that were particularly hard on him today when the other man asks him if he is all right. 

“Steve,” Eddie sighs, and a traitorous tear rolls down Steve’s cheek at the caring exasperation he hears there. “How often do I need to tell you that sleep is important? You’re gonna wear yourself out at this rate. And the kids just suck.”  

“I know,” he says, and sniffs, willing the tears to not fall. Not until Eddie has hung up on him. 

“Aww. That emotional, huh?” 

At that, Steve sobs out a laugh and gladly accepts the way out. “Well, excuse me, my bestest friend whom I love very much is getting married soon! Or, well, I hope it’s soon, nobody has time for all that suspense. Anyway, I am allowed to be emotional about this!” 

Eddie chuckles again and sighs gently. “Yes, you are. I’m glad you are. Thank you, Stevie.” 

Don’t thank me. Not for this. Not over this, please, don’t thank me. 

“Don’t thank me,” he says with a grin, and it hurts his cheeks from how forced it is. “Thank yourself for being brave enough to actually go through with the proposal! We both know you’re chicken shit.” 

Just like me, he thinks. Just like me. 

They laugh and it sounds hollow to Steve’s ears. He just wants the phone call to end, wants this to be over with. Wants them to not get married. Never, ever, in this life or the next. 

He wants… he wants Robin. No, he needs his best friend, his soulmate. He can’t cry alone, not about this. 

Eventually, Eddie hangs up, that smile still so audibly his lips, and that painful happiness still very clear in his voice. Steve wants to share it. But he can’t.

All he can do is stare at the phone in his trembling hand before he closes his eyes and lets himself cry, his head falling back against the couch until he slumps over to one side. He stares and he cries until he can’t anymore. 

Eddie. The love of his life. Is getting married. To Chrissy, the other, platonic love of his life, who is like a sister to him. Who, coincidentally, is the love of his real platonic soulmate’s life.

Fucking hell, the mess they find themselves in!

After a while of pitifully staring at the wall, all cried out and feeling thoroughly pathetic, he lifts his phone and speed-dials Robin. 

“Stevie?” 

He sniffs, and it must sound as awful as he feels, for her next words are, “I’ll be right there. Alcohol or ice cream?” 

“Both?” he whimpers after a moment, and Robin hums right back. 

“I’ve got you. I’ll be there in ten.” 

She hangs up before he can say anything more, and he is overcome with all the love he holds for her. 

As he waits for her to come over, he does not move from the awkwardly half curled-up position on his couch, the lesson plans for tomorrow forgotten completely. This is his life now. His Eddie-less life. His engaged-Eddie life. His loveless, hopeless, endlessly pitiful life. 

come back tomorrow for: bittersweet & angst | read here

[bunniesanddeer]

Hi,

Just recently found your stories! I love how you write Alastor! I have a request and I apologize if its long.

Reader arrives at the hotel and unbeknownst to everyone they can see people’s pasts, mainly their earthly lives, once they touch them. Which usually isn’t a problem until she meets Alastor. They see his past as well as the fact that his soul is owned by a mysterious entity.

As time goes by, Alastor and reader form something of a friendship and he can sense reader is powerful and repeatedly tries to get them into a soul deal. One evening while at the bar, he’s trying to make a deal when reader, somewhat drunk, states “no power I have can help you with your deal.”

One of those “oh shit” moments and reader runs only to get caught by a very agitated Alastor. They explain how they know and don’t know who the deal is with etc trying to calm him down. He realizes they have known this whole time and not spoken of it so he feels he can trust them.

Sorry sorry sorry this longer then it sounded in my head!

Hi! Sorry this took so long! So much has happened, and yet so little. In the middle of trying to buy a home, and my full-time job has been kicking my butt. Sorry if this is OOC, or anything like that. I have been having a hard time writing at all!

Everything

Pairing: Alastor X Reader

Warnings: Mild horror.

Word Count: 2,093

Maybe it was the psychology degree. Maybe it was that strange empathy that had been instilled into you as a survival response. Either way, you don’t know what caused it; when you ended up in Hell, because of course you did, you found out you had a strange ability, one that startled you. At a single touch, the entirety of someone’s life was made known to you; all their secrets, their thoughts, and even their afterlife. Their lives were heavy burdens, and so you settled on wearing gloves. You could minimize the damage to your psyche, and to your soul, if you avoided it entirely. No one would find out, if there was no risk of you using it.

Time was hard to measure in Hell, and so you couldn’t tell how long it took you to find a comfortable, enough, routine in Hell. You wore soft gloves, and only took them off when alone, or when they got soiled. You had a job, and you were living a boring rerun of your life on Earth. That was until you saw the advertisement for the “Hazbin Hotel”, looking for employees. You recalled the Princess, Charlie, making a fool of herself on the news only a few months prior. She was endearing, and the reminder and call for employees drew your attention. Without thinking too hard on it, your decision had been unconsciously made. You were going to apply. 

The main lobby was large, and had family portraits of the royal family hung on the wall. There was a bar and couches on the far side of the room. There was no one but the bartender in the room. The grumpy cat at the bar drew your eyes, and so you made your way to him. 

“Ah, hello?” You called to him, trying not to startle him. 

Sharp pupils lazily flickered towards you, and the cat-man let out a grunt. 

“I’m here to maybe, apply for a position here,” you continued. You extended a hand and introduced yourself. “I was a therapist, and although it has been some time-”

“I don’t care. You’ll be talkin’ to Charlie,” the bartender interrupted, taking a swig of his drink. “She probably already knows you’re here.”

Sure enough, a white blur was bounding down the steps, exuberance filling every part of  her form. “Oh hello! Hello! My name is Charlie,” she said, grabbing at one of your hands and shaking your whole body with her handshake. “You said you were a therapist?”

Now that she had settled into being mostly still, you could make out her features better. She had blonde hair, loosely tied, and cherub cheeks. Her large eyes were filled with such wild hope, that you feared ever needing to tell her ‘no’. This was the Princess of Hell, Charlotte Morningstar. 

“Uh, yes, I was!” You try to match her tone, and notice other people filling into the lobby. “I specialized in correctional counselor. I worked with those in the prison system, trying to help them avoid recidivism. Along with programs in the prison, we helped them acclimate back to civilian life, and keep their records clean! I also worked with some after they left.”

Charlie’s eyebrows shoot up into her hairline. “Oh wow! That would be PERFECT.” You watch her smile grow, and she turns to the woman that was now standing next to her. “You hear that, Vaggie? This is great, right?”

Although you were hesitant, this felt like the right move. So with a little forced pep to your step, you accepted the offer she made only minutes later, and joined the Hazbin Hotel team. That was before you realized Alastor was there. 

Months into your stay was the first time you accidentally touched anyone. You had been in your room, organizing some of your things, when Alastor barged in, yelling about some Angel Dust annoying him. The two of you had a weird friendship going. He would poke and prod you, and you would laugh it off and speak your mind about what you thought was ‘wrong’ about him — all in good fun, of course. Because of your general comfort with each other, he liked to barge into your personal space more and more often, and it had led to a few close calls. Now, though, was far too close. You weren't wearing gloves, and he had his arm wrapped around your shoulders.

“My dear, you simply must tell Angel Dust that his attempts at wooing are preposterous!” Alastor flipped you around so you were facing him. “He has no musical talent at all, I’m sure! How would it ever work?”

You scrunched up your face, and stared up at him. His bright red pupils widened as you laughed. “Al, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Ah, what fooey!” Alastor grabbed at your hand before you could pull it away, and it happened. Everything. All the terrible words and looks in his childhood. His mother’s soft smile, and her softer hands cupping his face as tears rolled down his cheeks. Angry voices telling him to leave. The cool feeling of metal under his hands. Warm liquid pooling beneath his feet. The chains wrapped around his throat. The abject hate he felt. The way every single choice he made had to be done precisely. The spark of joy he had to smother around people he loosely defined as friends. The control he desired like smoke in his hands. And then it was gone, and Alastor was giving you an odd look. 

“Are you alright, dear?” His head cocked, and the static that constantly coated his words quieted down. His thumb rubbed across your bare skin once, before he pulled his hand away from you, letting it clasp around his microphone. 

“Uh, yeah. Zoned out there, for a moment. No worries,” you said, trying to discourage his well-known prodding. You couldn’t handle it, right now. You shrugged your shoulders. “I didn’t get much sleep, last night, I’m sorry.”

When he finally let it go, and went back to his ranting, your mind slowed down. Now that it had happened, it was only a matter of time before something slipped. Would you die, because of what you knew? Would his master order him to slaughter you, or would he do it happily himself? Or would he use you, thinking that your power could save him, when the inevitable confrontation occurred?

You could only worry and wonder. There was nothing you could do to change it now. And so you kept your mouth shut, and waited.

The inexorable fate that awaited you, came weeks later, when the staff had settled in together to drink. Angel Dust was working, Sir Pentious had squirreled himself away in his room, and Charlie and Vaggie were out having ‘date-night’. The group, including Alastor, were several drinks in. 

Husk poured Alastor another drink, rolling his eyes at the Radio Demon’s antics. Alastor was telling a wild tale, and it had you and Niffty cackling, although it seemed she had heard it before.

“And just as he turns back to yell at me, he slips, and falls! Splat! Straight onto the concrete!” Alastor lets out a raving cackle. Niffty giggles, her drink splashing a bit as her whole body shakes. You wipe a tear from the corner of your eye, and try to calm your breathing.

“That is so fucked up, Al. Why?” You wheeze. “Why do you do this?”

“Because-” and he hiccups, which sets you off into more giggling. “Because life is a tragedy, and tragedy is hilarious.” He sets his drink down, and slots himself onto your seat, squishing you as he does. “As you know, my dear, I take quite a liking to anything that makes me laugh.”

He’s incredibly drunk, there is no way he isn’t, because he fucking taps your nose with one red claw, and mutters “Boop”, under his breath. You shake your head, feeling like you’ve drank more than you had. Your eyes feel the tiniest bit fuzzy and you laugh at the strangeness of it. 

“Are you alright, Al?” You ask, scooting over just a little, trying to get him off of your hip. “You seem out of it.”

Husk grunts, “He’s always like that with whiskey and rye. Should’a seen him a couple years ago-” His voice cuts off, and you look over to see the death glare Alastor is giving him. It settles when the bartender stays quiet with an eye roll. “Oh, whatever.”

Alastor hums, and then returns to looking at you. “You know, my dear, I could really help you out, down here, if we were to make a deal! Imagine setting up your own little clinic, and helping all the wayward souls down here!” He giggles again, and his smile widens. “Or you could manipulate them all to do your bidding with your strange mind medicine!” 

You shake your head. “C’mon Al, you know I’m not interested in that.”

Alastor shakes his head, his ears flopping back a little. “Then not that! There is plenty I could give you, for just one, little deal!”

Without thinking, you mutter, “I have no power that can help you with your deal, Al.” 

Your heart stops in your chest, and you stare at Alastor as his entire demeanor changes. His eyes are wide, and his pupils are tiny pinpricks of light in his dark sclera. His hand grips at the arm of the couch, and you know you’ve fucked up. Before he can say anything, you dart up, and out of the lounge. 

With the sudden surge of adrenaline, you feel nearly sober. Your feet pound at the floor as you dash down the hall, and up the stairs as quickly as you can manage. You slide around a corner, and sprint down a hallway before you hear the static. 

The normal white noise has been replaced with a thick static, heavy with screams, and the hall is getting dark. It feels as if the torches on the wall are being snuffed out, even though you can see them still softly glowing in the dark. Your heart pounds, and your breath catches as you hear Alastor’s music playing at a distance. He’s not nearly far enough behind. Is there anywhere in the hotel you could even hide?

It doesn’t matter, because he’s right behind you in only seconds. His form has grown enormous, and he takes up the entirety of the hallway. One large hand stabilizes him by pressing against the wall, and the other wraps around your torso, fingers wrapping around your form easily. He squeezes you, just enough to let you know how much power he has over you, and he brings you level to his face.

“How do you know?” His voice is rough, and deep, and the static and screams re making your head hurt. When you don’t immediately answer, he squeezes just a little, and shakes you. “HOW DO YOU KNOW?” 

You let out a rough sob. “I can just tell. If I-” your voice cuts out as you cough from the previous exertion. “If I touch someone, I know just about everything about them, from their mortal life, to here in Hell.” Tears roll down your face, and you heave. “I tried to avoid touching you! It’s why I wear gloves! But you caught me off guard a few weeks ago!”

Alastor’s gaze doesn’t waver, but his expression does, just a little. You keep talking.

“I didn’t tell anyone, and I wouldn’t! That goes so far against my morals. You know that. Haha. Patient confidentiality.” You squeeze your eyes shut. “I’m sorry. I wish I could have prevented it, and I wish I could help you now that I know, but I can’t!”

Your form is set on the ground, and you want to curl up, so badly, but you don’t. Instead, you open your eyes, and see Alastor, at his normal size, adjusting himself. 

“Yes, well, I suppose there’s nothing to be done.” He flicks his eyes to you. “If you say anything, ever, I’ll gut you, do you understand?”

You merely nod, and he nods in return. He takes a breath, and then offers you a hand, and you take it. 

He gives you a sly smile, as you are wiping your face off with his handkerchief. “I’ll get a deal out of you, yet, my dear!” And he says nothing more, as the two of you make your way back downstairs. 

You hope, with everything you are, that he doesn’t.

Thank you for reading! My taglist is pinned on my page. I will try to have the two other requests I'm working on out soon! Sorry for the wait. Having a chronic illness, a job, and house huntng is hard, haha!

Taglist: @wen01203 @alastorssimp @girl-nahh-two @numetalnerd2007 @justchillingandhavingfun @alastorssimp @wen01203 @lemonyboy97 @fairyv-ice

[nibeul]

there’s a lot of talk about Snow seeing Lucy Gray in Katniss which is true to an extent, but I think there’s a gaping flaw with a 1:1 comparison and it’s this: if Snow truly saw Katniss as Lucy Gray, then he wouldn’t have spoken to her the way he did throughout the series. elaboration under the cut because I have a lot to say

the most interesting thing about snow and katniss’s dynamic is that snow, on some level, respects her because he believes she is like him. Lucy Gray did not have that respect from him—he said it himself that he did not expect her to win the game, but that he hoped she would be successful enough that her appeal to the audience would boost his own standing:

“Coriolanus had never really considered her a victor in the games. It had never been a part of his strategy to make her one. He had only wished that her charm and appeal would rub off on him and make him a success.”

and another quote that makes his feelings toward her clear:

“Here in the capitol, it was given that Lucy Gray belonged to him, as if she’d had no life before her name was called out in the reaping.”

to Snow, Lucy Gray was always a means to an end. he loved her in the sense that he loved the success she brought to him, in a deluded manner where the power and her existence went hand in hand. Lucy Gray’s existence to him was as a tool and something to own, not as an actual person, and when we look at Snow and Katniss, that distinction isn’t there. here’s a quote from Donald Sutherland (Snow) that I find really interesting:

“Katniss Everdeen is the first person who has excited Snow, who has stimulated him. By the time you get into the, maybe the end of the second one, he's in love with her. Not sexually. No, my God, no, no, no, no: he recognizes in her everything that he could have been.”

In Peeta and Katniss’s relationship, through the eyes of Snow, Katniss is him, and Peeta—who is charismatic, knows how to play to the people’s heart, charms the capitol, etc—compares better to Lucy Gray. Yes, Snow places himself in the shoes of Peeta when he asks Katniss when Peeta realized her indifference (as he felt Lucy was indifferent to him), but it really goes the other way around. To Katniss during the first game, Peeta was a tool for her survival. For Snow, Lucy Gray was a tool for his.

despite this comparison, however, Katniss and Peeta are not what Snow and Lucy Gray could have had, but rather what Snow never was; even though the love between Katniss and Peeta was used as a tool of survival during their first game together, they continue to stick by each other and look out for each other as things get rough. Katniss is a survivalist, like Snow views himself, but she is also caring and loving and these are attributes that Snow never had (but someone like Sejanus did). Snow believes that humans are naturally violent, and he believes Katniss is like him, hence why he tries to prove that Katniss and Peeta are not in love at every step of the way.

when he is finally convinced of their love, he then views it as a weakness and punishes Katniss for it. it’s likely he hoped Peeta would kill Katniss, but I would also argue that he wanted Katniss to turn on Peeta too as he turned on Lucy Gray—another effort to break this love that he saw and warp it into something else. ultimately, we know this is unsuccessful, and I think that’s why the final conversation he and Katniss have went the way it did; he had lost at both games, the game of politics to Coin (briefly, though obviously we know he gets the last laugh with this one), and this game of love and identity to Katniss. Katniss is everything he was not, and it was at this point that he finally respected her enough to acknowledge that he lost.

[aegoniiwifey]

Anon who requested the chubbydaddy!aegon and his daughter <3 you did my request justice and way more I'm obsessed- I literally reread it like ten times I love it. Also another chubbydaddy!aegon request: Aegon getting requests to court/ wed his precious girl, and he ignores them all, ignores what the Small Council wants, etc and goes to her after a long day, letting her ride his belly, then breeding, then cumplay, and whatever your genius mind comes up with <3

Wanna Be Yours

PAIRING: King!Aegon ii Targaryen x daughter!fem!Reader

WORDS: 1,944.

WARNINGS: incest, swearing, angst, breeding kink, praise kink, stomach riding, cum play, titty sucking, p in v sexual intercourse. indented parts are previous scenes.

A/N - I am so so sorry for responding so late, I took a little hiatus with tumblr and am starting to find my rhythm again. I absolutely adore this trope and your ideas. so happy you enjoyed the first piece, it was an absolute privilege to write! hope this is just what you imagined also xx

Apologies I have not reread this as I finished work and my eyes are about to shut! will proof read tomorrow ♥️

credit to my beloved BOOBIE @bnb-atnite for making this godly image of my man CHUBBY! ilysm!

"Your Grace, it is highly frowned upon by the Seven that you wed your daughter! We have given many exceptions to your ancestors for upholding their queer customs, but this- This arrangement we do not condone!"

Aegon's deep exhale as his eyes darkly snapped towards the elderly maester, was enough to silence the room with his palpable vehemence. He was beyond tired and irritated by the constant nagging of his esteemed Council, of their blatant disapproval of their King's intentions to wed his beloved... His only surviving blood, his daughter.

Throughout the war, Aegon had grown insatiably protective of you: in addition to having a special place in his heart as his eldest born, you remained the last remaining figure in his previous life, despite his mother and himself. As your grandmother silently fell into madness, in the privacy of her chambers, where she preferred to seclude herself, Aegon had no other person he soulfully cherished than you. And as he was to you, the feelings had become reciprocated. Your father loved you dearly: since becoming of age, a young, matured woman, his advances had grown more intimate and lubricious. You owed him your life, and wished nothing more than to devote yourself to him. No man could have done what he did for you...

"It is done, Maester Orwyle... I will wed my daughter in the ancient traditions of our House, if it be the last damned thing I do. I am the fucking King!" Aegon loudly asserted, slamming his pudgy hand against the solid, wooden tabletop, as his words simmered the Council into a fright.

Aegon was known for his temper, although it took a great deal for him to raise his voice: he was a stubborn man at that, also...

"My dearest, what is it? What have they done now that troubles you so, hmm?"

Aegon defeatedly relinquishes in the wooden rocking chair by the stoking fire: it’s orange-red tinged flames being the only source of light emitting in the room.

You walk up behind your father, his face stern and unmoving besides his closed eyes as his hand rubbed at his temples. Your hands find their way to his broad, thick shoulders, giving them a gentle massage as you knead the tension.

“So-So tense, my beloved. Tell me what is wrong, so that I may be of some help. Let me ease your mind, Daddy.”

Aegon’s shrugging shoulders said plentiful, as he opened his eyes once more, head turning slightly to its side so that you were in his peripheral vision.

“There is nothing to be sorted, my love. I am to wed you, and as their rightful King, it is my final word above all else. Those elderly cunts can yap all they want. I will have you.”

With his final word, a yearning flare brews between your thighs, aching for one particular thing. Your father always had a way with words, especially with you.

“Is that so?” You teasingly utter, as you straddle yourself comfortably on his lap. Your arms grip the overarching wooden frame of the chair as you swiftly lift yourself up, before plopping back down, although this time elevated by your father’s overgrown, rotund belly.

Your earliest, core memories of your father had always been admiring him at feasts and family dinners. He never denied himself a hearty meal, and his grand appetite never ceased during the war. Inevitably, as the years went by and his youth disappeared the weight remained and latched on with each mouthful. The intimate moments your attention would linger onto him, as he savoured each bite, the way he'd unashamedly lick the grease and crumbs off his chubby fingers, even off the rings that had fit him a time before... Now that he had sized up immensely, most treasures and clothes that he had worn, he had rapidly outgrown. None of his rings could go beyond the tips of his fingers, and he was in great denial about it, refusing to resize until you had convinced him otherwise. The way he had often rubbed his aching, bloated belly: swollen beneath the restricting fabric, a somewhat elevated and satisfied look strewed across his handsome, fat face as he would pat himself proudly.

"But I want Daddy all to myself. I want Daddy to fight the whole realm for me, if he has to. Can Daddy do that for me?" You utter closely into his hear, your hot breath dense against his earlobe: after hastily hiking your skirt up [wearing nothing below, as you instinctively anticipated this precise moment], you unbuttoned his top garment, only to expose his rotund, plush belly. The handful of rolls engulfing his sides, the grip-able hips that accentuated his width, streaked with raw, red stretch marks all across his love handles and lower belly. His tits were double your size, nipples sensitive under your gentle touch, even a flick of his nipple was enough to make him moan. It made you flustered, the sheer sight in evidence of your father's blatant growth... And he had no shame in admitting it.

"Of course, baby. Anything for my sweet, little princess. Daddy would burn the entire realm if he has to for you... I'll repopulate the world with my princess, if needs be."

With each of his longing words, you pressed yourself down deeper, sinking your bare cunt further against his naked belly, causing him to whimper. His pudgy hands found their way beneath your layered gown, each palm rested atop your cheeks, firmly cupping and squeezing at your flesh.

"My princess knows just what to do, to make her Daddy happy, huh? My only joy in life, is you."

Your grinding rhythmic, the pace begins to quicken with excitement, as your throbbing cunt becomes moist, the wetness stirring and oozing beneath, against the warm friction. As your cum coats his smooth fat, slowly it becomes more tolerable.

"I-I just wanna make m-my Daddy proud- D-Daddy can s-say whatever, a-and I'll do as I'm t-told-"

"Is that so?" His mimicking voice, a deep growl wretched from his throat, as his hands find their strength, shoving you deeper against his swallowing frame. He always admired how tiny you appeared in comparison to him, how fragile it made you look. He rejoiced it was a symbol of how he could protect you, that he was your shelter.

"Daddy wants to fuck Princess senseless, all night long. Fill my Princess up with my hot, hot seed until I'm certain she takes. Daddy wants Princess to swell with his child, and show her off to the realm. That the babe kicking in her belly, is all his undoing, hmm."

"A-Anything for Daddy- Just f-fuck me, Aeg-"

Although it drove Aegon wild to hear you mindlessly moan and whisper Daddy, something in particular, whenever you called him by his name, would often trigger something more insatiable in him. He could devour you in the spot, like some afternoon tea honey cake, whenever you spoke of his true name.

"Undo my pants-" Immediately without sparing a thought more, you obeyed. As Aegon's plump belly expanded over his thick, wide lap, his portly fat pad beneath had somewhat engulfed his cock. It made it difficult for him to even try to locate or masturbate himself. For now, you had both learnt tricks to overcome the obstacle, having your father lean in a certain angle, as you put in the effort to locate his fat, hard cock, plunging it deep between your walls.

As he tried to reposition himself with great difficulty, in the faint space left remaining in the seat with you atop: breathless by the end of all the moving, you managed to pluck out his cock. The sheer sight and tension beneath your gentle stroking grip, its reddened, blush tip oozing with a sheer-white, translucent reside, palpating with excitement.

"Don't keep Daddy waiting, Princess. I need to feel your walls take my cock. Make you so fucking full of me, I'll make you a human waterfall."

The raw feeling of his cock between your inner walls, clenching to adjust to its girthy, solid size: although it could no longer delve as deep as it used to, the friction of his fat pad against your clit, and the pressure of his mass against your lower stomach, made it invigorating nonetheless.

"Th-That's it, Princess. S-So tight for me. All fucking mine, and the w-whole world will know it-"

"Y-Yes, Daddy-"

"If I need to fuck you with the eyes of the Court watching, I will."

As means to muffle your moans and loud pleas for Aegon, bashfully mindful of the servants and Kingsguard stationed beyond the inches of the door outside, your mouth latched onto Aegon's porky tits.

Suckling at his tender flesh, as your tongue licked at his nipple, causing him to wince and growl in eager approval, one hand left your ass cheek, gripping close your bucking hips, and found its way snaking behind your back, before pulling at your loose hair.

Tightly tugging at the free strands, mottling between his pudgy fingers, he once more, gave gentle encouragement, shoving your face down deeper against his tubby chest.

"F-Fuck Y/N. S-So impressed by Daddy, huh, Princess? You keep going at this rate, I'll be making my own damn milk for you and the babes."

Noticing the glistening residue of your cum spilled across his rolls and paunchy stomach, his other hand cleaned the mess up over with his bare hand. Before hungrily licking off your wetness with his tongue, licking his hand clean free.

"Delicious."

With his heavy, dense weight keeping him pinned down against the chair, he made no effort to thrust himself inside as he once jovially could. Alternatively, the chair swayed with his potent motions, as he would subtly buck his ample hips forward into your frame.

"My sweet, beautiful girl is gonna cum already. I can feel you swallow my cock whole, your walls suffocating my cock. Take me, princess, take it all-"

With the finish of his words, signalling his epitome, Aegon shot his hot, fresh seed into you: warmly coating your inner walls, as your own wetness gushed over his eager, hard cock. Catching a minute to regain your breaths and thoughtless mind, you lifted yourself off, and instantly the mess began to pool across your inner thighs.

Almost on cue or from impressive instinct, Aegon began to scoop at your inner thighs, sensitive from his touch, its abrupt presence startled you.

"Did I not teach you about letting things go to waste, baby? Never let this out. This is as precious as Valyrian steel. I ought to keep you plugged up with my cock..."

The tips of his fat fingers tease at the entrance of your folds, softly tracing over your stained, painful walls: impressed with your sudden shiver and moan, his deep chuckle left you feeling reminiscent of your first time. How nervous you felt, inexperienced against your father's wit.

"I-I want this to take. I want to have as many babes as the Gods see fit with you, Aeg... I want to swell healthily with child, and give you the heir you want... As many as you desire-"

As one fo your hands remained nestled against his chest, tracing soft, random lines against the crevices of his rolls: the other travelled its way to his face, pushing aside a random strand of hair, away from his handsome, fuller face.

"I want our sons to be the spitting image of their father, and our daughter's kind like their grandmother... Will Daddy fuck me day and night, to make my wish come true, hmm?"

"Of course..."

credit for dividers - @/valeskafics

[intimidating-fettuccine]

Hihi!! Can I request (platonic) Jeff, Ben and Toby having an older brother-like relationship with a new teen/child!reader that’s been taken in by slender who has a habit of running off on adventures, climbing things they aren’t supposed to climb, never turning down a challenge no matter how dangerous or dumb, getting in trouble a lot, etc (except they survive every time somehow?? Who knows why.) please and thank u :) have a lovely day!!

Protective big brother figures, here we come.

BEN:

Honestly, at his extremely old man age (of 28), he doesn't have the energy for this. BEN does his absolute best to look after you and keep his eyes on you, but he finds that to be challenging when you're constantly on the move. He finds it's better off that he just goes into your phone so he can be with you while you're running around doing stuff, so he can yell at you through the speakers to not pet that animal because it's extremely dangerous, don't try and climb that plant because it's poisonous, and do NOT challenge those demons to a fight, they WILL beat your ass. He feels like he'd have a heart attack if he wasn't already dead, but he keeps his eyes on you and proves to be a good big brother figure, just as he did for several other residents of the mansion. If you ever do get in trouble, he's quick to leave your phone and help you out, and shockingly, lectures you just like Slender always lectures them. He cares for you a great deal, and he doesn't want you to get gravely injured, especially with how dangerous the Underworld is, so he accompanies you whenever you're out and about. It gets him out of the mansion for a change, which is nicer than he'll admit to, and it allows him to keep watch over you, to the best of his abilities. Keeping you safe and happy is his biggest priority, and he does a damn good job of doing both of those things. 

Jeff:

Jeff has always been protective over Liu and everyone dear to him, but that really gets kicked up a notch with you. The man watches you like a hawk, because he knows the second he takes his eyes off of you you're gonna run off and do something stupid again. Jeff is tall and pretty damn muscular from all of his training, so if he physically has to hold you back or carry you away from something he will, and you aren't gonna get out of his hold. He honestly starts threatening to wrap you up in layers of bubble wrap before you leave the house every day, and if you seem particularly mischievous one day, he trails after you, knowing if he doesn't you're gonna come home with some form of injury. Jeff is honestly a good big brother figure, because despite the bullshit he gets up to, he never encourages it, and he never does it around you, and he's pretty damn good at getting you to relax quite a bit. He still lets you have fun, of course, but he hates seeing the people he cares for in dangerous situations, or constantly getting hurt, so he shows you some tough love. Jeff is honestly shocked at how much like Slender he starts to seem around you, in a good way at least. He gets better at explaining why you shouldn't be doing something, and he gets better at pushing you to put all your energy into more reasonable things. He's not perfect, of course, but he's a pretty damn good big brother. 

Toby:

Toby, for the first time in his life, understands why Tim is always so fucking frustrated with him. You're exactly how Toby was when he first came to the mansion, and while he didn't see anything wrong with his behavior then, when it comes to the possibility of you getting hurt, or worse, he finally understands why Tim was always yelling at him for doing stupid stuff. While Toby still does stupid stuff, he tries to encourage you to do safer stupid stuff. If you wanna climb something, climb one of the trees safely on the mansion's grounds, instead of a tree directly next to a cliff. If you're gonna accept a challenge, at least make sure it's something you can do successfully, because he swears if he has to watch you get hurt from doing something you know is dumb one more time he's gonna blow a gasket. Toby teaches you the art of putting your chaotic energy into safer means, and while you still get in trouble every now and then, you come back to the mansion with far fewer injuries, and you seem much happier, now that you have your big brother Toby looking out for you and partaking with you. Tim teases the fuck out of Toby now though, because Toby will always come home with you and sigh in exhaustion, giving Tim a look that says he finally understands, and Tim says he deserves it to make up for everything he did to Tim and Brian.

[mekochansblog]

Hi! I absolutely love the masterpiece you just dropped! Consider me a new big fan!!! Also I was wondering if your requests are open? If so I would love to see your take on Five x reader where reader wouldn’t hurt a fly and means the world to him but one day gets kidnapped cause she knows five (or you can make the reason up) and Five goes crazy panicking/ crying about where you are and won’t listen to his family etc. Obviously you don’t have to do the request if you don’t want to 💜

Innocent

Five Hargreeves x reader

Warnings:

- cuss words

When they first recruited Five on the commission, he always believed he would never like it here. That is until you came along. He first met you as someone that was first intimidated by anything. He will talk to you, you’ll be startled quickly. He will try to start a conversation, you will yelp in surprise. It’ll be the little things that will get you. Mostly because Five is an intimidating man; but getting to know him more since the handler made you his personal secretary, you had to know how he was and acted.

It took a whole 6 months for you to understand Five and get used to how he was and act. It took only 1 year for you to fall in love with him. It took him 1 year to get used to you getting comfortable with him but 6 months for him to fall in love with you. He trusted you with stuff that he only trusted Dolores. He let you know about the apocalypse, he told you his deepest darkest secrets. At first it was scary, but one look in his eyes and you knew he had to do it to survive. When he first let everything out, you gave him a hug.

A hug.

A hug he so badly needed after all those years being isolated in the apocalypse.

At first he went rigid.

His body froze.

But when he felt you not letting go at all on the hug he decided to hug back; he needed this and he knew deep down, whether Dolores was there when he hugged her, she never hugged back. So feeling finally hands around him not going to kill him but to give him affection; it slipped his mind. Five zones back to the present and unlock the door that he was standing in front of for a while. He opened his apartment house and the smell of food welcomed him in. He looked around and saw your shoes on the side where he would normally see them and your cat Shadow trotting to him and rubbing his head on his leg for pets. Five smiled and bent down and carefully held him and walked towards the kitchen. He peeked his head, knowing that you hate when Shadow is around the kitchen. 

“Fives your home! How was work miele?”

You asked when you saw him in the corner of your eyes, while you were cooking the spaghetti. He chuckled and let Shadow down by the door so he wouldn't enter the kitchen. He walked to you and gave you a sweet kiss on the cheek and layed his head on your back while hugging you. You playfully rolled your eyes but let him be. Once you finished you put the food on two plates and served a bit of cat kibble for Shadow. Five helped you witht he food while you put the needy kitten’s food down on the floor for him to eat with you and Five. Five grabbed your hand and sat you down on your seat, he scooted your chair for you and you sent him a loving smile. 

“Thank you my love, now let’s eat.”

You lightly told him while starting to twirl your food. He knew this night would end like any other night; and he wouldn’t change it for the world. He was grateful for having you in his life. He thanked you for understanding in your own way how he coped in the beginning, he was also thankful for taking care of him when his nightmares will get the most out of him. He was deep in love with you and nothing will ever change that.

*******

When five took you with him to save his family you were a little scared. Not at them but at what they might say about you and what they will think of you. He did let you know about them, told you stories and the crazy things his siblings will come up with just to try to live like a normal child. Landing on the hard ground outside was not what you expected, not going to lie. When you looked at your husband, instead of looking at your 38 year old husband, you were now dead staring at what looked like your 20 year old husband. You scrambled back a bit, hoping this was just a dream. Your husband stood up and looked at you and then at himself since one of his brothers made a comment about your now younger husband. He walked towards you and held out his hand and let out his loving smile. You looked at his honey kissed eyes and slowly let out your hand towards him. He pulled you up and grabbed your hand tightly, knowing everything at the moment was overwhelming.

Five walked inside the house, you both ended in the kitchen. Five led you to a chair and sat you down carefully while he started walking around getting what you believe something to eat. He started grabbing bread then went to the fridge to get the peanut butter. You wanted to ask what he was making, but decided not to comment seeing as you were still surrounded by his siblings. One of his brothers; who you guessed was Luther since Five gave you a recap before heading back; started asking your husband question after question. As the two were discussing you looked at every sibling; you guessed Luther, so the one next to him strapped with knives had to be Diego. The one sitting close to you on the table had to be the talking ghost one, which was Klaus, the one with blonde tips looked like Allison and the last timid girl had to be Vanya. 

You knew Vanya, Klaus and Ben were Five’s siblings that he was able to socialize with. Knowing Five if he liked them, that means you’ll also get along with them. You didn’t notice you zoned out the whole conversation, Five walked away from the kitchen leaving you alone with his family.

“So who are you?”

Luther asked you, it felt more like he was interrogating you, if you were being honest. You gulped and fiddled with your rings that seem to fit a little loose now.

“I’m Y/N Hargreeves, nice to meet you all, Five talked about all of you guys.”

You said sincerely, because it was the truth; Five could look like a tough and cold person, but inside all of that was just a young man that missed his family and wanted them to be safe. He sacrificed so much just to see them alive. His siblings looked at you confused. Oh right, you doubt Five ever told them you both were married. 

“I’m Five’s wife.”

Those were the only words you told them. There eyes widen and all had different expressions. Who wouldn’t, knowing your brother disappear one day and the next he comes with a wife would also shock any other person. Five did ended coing back and grabbing your hand and pulled you slowly so you can get up.

“Come on hun, lets go change.” 

You nodded your head and waved to your now siblings in law. Five took you to his room and closed the door and leaned on it once you were inside and sitting on his bed. You didn’t know if he was upset because you told his siblings about your relationship. You wanted to ask, but were scared of the answer he will give you. You heard him sigh and turn to you. He gave you a weak smile and slowly walked towards you and bent down just a bit to reach you. He grabbed your chin with enough force to not hurt you, but to make you stare at him in his striking chartreuse eyes. He leaned down towards you, lips ghosting your own lips. You shakingly let out a soft breath and that's what made him snap and give you a passionate kiss. A kiss showing so much love and adoration, so much lust and need. All at the same time.

It was what you both needed. You wanted more, but you knew that right now was not the time for all this. You slowly leaned back not wanting to break away but needing to. You gulped and shakingly kept looking at his now dark bottle green eyes.

“Five my love, we have a job to do, remember?”

You quietly told him, not wanting to break the quietness. He leaned back a bit and nodded his head, knowing you were right. He slowly exhaled and looked at you, your plump pink lips and hazy eyes, your daze looking face. Five knew he was fucked when you had that look. 

“Come- come on we… we uhh have a funeral to go to.” 

He stuttered and you knew why.

*****

When Five told you to go back with Klaus and Luther and vote for him about his mom; you had this horrible gut feeling you were feeling. You didn’t know why but you felt like something was going to happen. You knew you should have told Five; but you decided against it. You sat next to Klaus, he decided that you were his second favorite person and gratefully shared his chips that he ‘totally’ didn’t steal from the store 10 minutes ago. You thank him for the snack and listen in on the conversation.

“I mean, do you really think Mom would hurt Dad?”

Vanya quietly told everyone. In your mind she did have a point. Their robotic mother didn’t look like she could kill anyone, but then again you have never interacted with the mother.

“You haven't been home in a long time, Vanya.”

Diego said harshly to Vanya. You were about to intervine to defend one of your sister-in laws when Luther was the one that interrupted.

“If he was poisoned, it would have shown in the coroner's report.” 

Luther said while pointing at the old television that was showing the robotic mother giving your father-in-law tea and then waiting for him to drink for her to take the cup away from him. Right when he does drink he starts choking and shaking. You didnt know if you should say something at this point. You did zone out the family until they said your husband’s name.

“What? Five's not here.”

You looked at the siblings since technically you were going to be Five’s vote. This time you did speak up because if you didn’t you knew the family won’t ever let you say something.

“Um… actually Fives told me to vote for him?”

You questioned more than asked. The siblings looked at you, forgetting you were there for a minute. They all looked at each other and three of them agreed to what you said, but the other two didn’t. You didn’t know why Five really thought this was a good idea. You didn’t see the point in being here if they didn’t want your opinion at all or what you thought.

“Sorry, but you don’t count for Five at all.”

Luther told you agressively. Your eyes slightly widened and you gulped; you slowly nodded your head and muttered a small ‘okay’ and just decided to stand up and walk away. You shakily sighed and repeated the same mantra in your head. ‘It’s okay, it’s fine.’ You don’t know what else you could of done. You’re trying to get to know and get along with all the siblings but it feels like nothing is working at all. You walked to Fives room and gently closed the door. You had your back to the door and you slowly leaned on it and slowly lowered yourself to the ground. You grabbed your knees and just layed your head on them while waiting for Five to at least come back. You must of dooze off because the next thing you hear is gunshots.

You jump startled and get out of the room looking for the siblings. Even though you knew they probably didn’t see you as family, they were to you. You slowly walked to where you heard the gunshots and looked around to see if you could spot any of the siblings. You noticed Klaus walking around, more like dancing in just a towel and some headphones. You were just about to tap his shoulder when everything went dark.

************

You woke up in pain. You hissed feeling like your head was pounding louder and louder. You tried to hold your head, but something was holding you back. You fluttered your eyes and tried to make them adjust to the lightning of the room you were being captive. You heard groans of pain and looked next to you. There Klaus was being tortured by Hazel and Cha-Cha. At the moment they were choking him, but it looked to you like he was enjoying it. ‘Please Klaus I hope you say nothing about Five’ you thought.

******* Five’s point of view *********

I got out of the van seeing as Lance was walking his dog gave me a good opportunity to maybe get the actual information out of him. I did miss Y/N though, maybe sending her to the academy was a bad idea. I shook my head knowing she probably was better over there knowing my siblings were at least capable of taking care of her, well I hope they were. I spatial jumped to the car and put a knife at Lance’s neck. After threathing himinto giving me the information for the eye he finally starts taking me to the lab. Walking to the lab with Lance,I started to smell smoke. Running to the lab knowing I might not have a chance to see the results. I made it to the lab and was about to run inside it when it exploded. 

I fell back and landed hard on the ground. I groaned and looked at the lab that just exploded. Fucking hell now what teh hell am I going to do. I got up and walked back to the van and grabbed the liquor bottles I stole and walked to a library. I walked to the third floor and sat down by some pillars and started working on anything I could do to stop this stupid apocalypse.

********

****Y/N’s point of view****

“Remember section 76, sub A, of the training manual?”

You heard Cha-Cha ask Hazel once you woke up from when they knocked you out unconscious again. 

“I barely remember what we had for breakfast at this point.”

He replied back to her. You sighed.

“To paraphrase, torturing works best when you know who you’re torturing.”

You froze, they were either going to torture, you to know where your husband was or they were going to torture Klaus for the information. Hazel and Cha-Cha walked infront of both of you guys and looked at each other and then you. You started to slowly panic, scared of what they could do to you.

“Let’s begin with the wife.”

You let out an ear-splitting scream, as they started electricuting you.

*****

**** third point of view****

While Y/N was being tortured, Five was being taken by Luther and Diego. They were both walking to Diego’s place since it was closer and no one would look for Five there. Once getting to Diego’s place they both started thinking of Y/N. When they went to Five’s room to let Y/N know that they were going to look for Five, you were gone. They both panic knowing that if Five ever found out Y/N wasn’t with them at all he will kill them. They layed Five on the bed and thougth about how to find you; until Al let Diego Know that they found his brother and his sister in law. 

**** second POV****

When you and Klaus finally escaped, you both kind of went your own way, mostly because you were too dizzy and kept limping and stumbling. Diego later found you and helped you to his house. Five and Luther didn’t know that Diego found you. They told Five about you and he went hysterical. He wanted to be strong in front of Luther; but it was you. You are his wife, his life long best friend. He let out tears of pain and worry. When you both made it to Diego’s house; Five was the first to see you and jumped to you. He cried on your shoulder.

“I’m sorry, I'm sorry. I shouldn’t have left you, I shouldn’t have told you to go back to the house. Miele I'm sorry I love you so much. This won't ever happen again I promise.”

Five whimpered to your ear. He was in so much guilt. He knew he would never let this happen to you.

[perfecteggpartyland]

ok so one of my biggest pet peeves is when people criticize six of crows by it being unrealistic but not in fantasy world sense but like they're way too young ;kaz is 17 there's no way grown men are afraid of him ; they're children and all that jazz; like of course it's your opinion but like you should judge a fantasy book in real life lenses and Morals ? Like kaz; yes he is a child at 17 still but he grew up in a barrel all by himself ; already a traumatized kids only way to survive was to become someone feared ; someone who won't be taken advantage of ever again; he was desprate and enraged and basically you get the point; inej has been kidnapped ; inslaved and sold nto the menagerie at 14; Nina and Mattias are both soldiers in a horrible war; etc. Like criticism which I have heard to often about these book is that "they're too young "; like they all grew up in a terrible environment without any support system and are traumatized . They know how to fight; lie; cheat; intimidate and kill people because they had to. To survive in an extremely cruel world and same goes in real life too. trauma doesn't care about their age; children do get exposed to awful things that some adults can't even imagine;so they're too young for me falls really flat as a solid criticism.