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#but i'm always afraid i'll get hurt
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aforgotto · 5 months
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yesterday I did an assessment where I had to talk pretty extensively about my OCD and I'm still sitting back and thinking about it and how it's one of the things I never get to talk about. I think people are being more open about OCD and it's been nice knowing that I'm not alone, but at the same time I've felt more alone than ever since getting my diagnosis. Like what am I supposed to do with this y'know
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we're planning some activities for when my husband has time off work (since our initial plans fell through - we can't use his parents' camper van until next year). it's not much, mostly because we have to plan carefully - there has to be at least two days between things, otherwise I'll be exhausted and, more importantly, won't be able to walk.
which kind of sucks. and it's weird since my GP says I'm 'young and healthy' every time I try to talk about this stuff :) it's great!! :)
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noxtivagus · 2 years
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ffxv makes me so emotional oh my god 🥹🫶🏼
#🌙.rambles#[ ffxv. ]#i love love love final fantasy so much like. video games in general i cld rlly ramble abt each of my interests for hours like i'm#v much ffxv mood rn. god esp that one story two years back i've mentioned it so much here atp but IT REALLY IS SO PERSONAL N#CRINGE???? IDK IT MAKES ME EMBARRASSED A BIT but like embarrassed /pos like. it's me. younger me. n i'm still v fond of it.#..still makes me shy though but even more i finished writing that uh oneshot back then w noctis#childhood friends to lovers uhuh secretly in love but both think it's unrequited uhuh#why has that always been among my fav tropes.. I DON'T EVEN RLLY HAVE CHILDHOOD FRIENDS? there's nothing irl that inspired it at all.#but then ^ that's also w my uhhhh original characters n then my wol too in ffxiv honestly n#even with other characters.. a v similar sentiment w claude n like lancelot or lucifer. ffxv / fe3h / gbf were my top 3 back in 2020#botw hades octopath acnh & other ff were games that i rlly rmb then too. but ever since ffxiv i haven't been able to play much other vgs 😭#the witcher 3. nier automata demo. code vein demo. genshin. hzd. rdr2. ac odyssey n lots more but god i've barely finished any#OH I NEARLY FORGOT.. I'M SO SORRY must be bcs i was listening to it earlier so i thought i already wrote it but kh3 yes#AAAA WAIT I'M RAMBLING AGAIN I WAS GNA WORK ON SOME STUFF BEFORE I SLEEP 🥹 sleep by 3 for more hours or by 4 so i can uh#get some stuff done before tmrrw? i will. do my best this week as quickly as i can so i can.. rest? my mind rlly needs a rest i think ><#yk what i can always write n do more the next day yeah i'll sleep no later than 3:30#i think i'm going back more to my old self again but i'll do my best to not isolate or distance myself too much i don't want to destroy#things even more like. in that. dream n. in the past when. i thought i was over it but i think those wounds r reopening#but i'm stronger than them n. fuck. it's the same as before n that's why i'm crying that's why i'm so afraid that's why it hurts so much#but i've written too much here. it hurts so much but even if it feels too similar to.. back then it's. not the same it's not the same#i've improved i've gone this far i've made friends i've made so much memories. but i'm so afraid that i'll fuck up again n#i think i'm like this bcs. oh ffs my dream told me basically that i really do think i already fucked up. i'm sorry. i'm so sorry#the past.. present. the future. too fast too much n it's just like before n that's. why i'm helpless to it. i can do better but this#i forgave them but maybe i haven't forgiven myself. entirely at least. so. the familiarity of this rn is keeping me frozen in place?#n then other stuff r so overwhelming too n fuck i don't want to think about this anymore i'll be fine i'm fine i can do this on my own#..no. i can't do that again. fuck i'm crying so much why does this feel the same as two years back#i'm sorry please don't forget me please don't leave me please tell me i didn't fuck up please don't tell me i did it again#i'm sorry i was doing better i was healing but i'm back to this again i know better but i can't do any more rn n i'm sorry i'm so sorry#fuck it i'll wipe away these tears. it feels so empty inside but i'll feel better somehow by the morrow. i don't want to be a burden nymore#i know it's bad n i don't want all my progress to be for naught but.. no i can't fuck this up again but i feel i alrdy have. i'm sorry. gn
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keeps-ache · 6 months
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blaaaauhhhghhgh [melting into a goop] aohhhghghhshabh
#just me hi#Blahhhaahahaaaaaaaaaaaa#oh BLOO#poo. ploo. bloop#i wanna work on my comic. sniff#'why don't you then' Becausssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssse [wild vague gesturing]#balalaglalgaguauhuglhaslghuhsdgk#Bllllaaaaaaaaaahhhh#//when i speak in quotations that's more my other me talking than you just to be clear hbfvhsf#sometimes being contrary can look like being in full and unwavering support of the same things Lmaooo#me vs. the squaters in my brain (it was mutual for them to move in) (they are trying to be helpful (and are successful mostly (i'm just#being. well. contrary hfbshv)))#//but ye yea ye#my brother helped me set up my emulator and !!! and i can play sky on my puter now :DD#i woulda set it up but. i am always afraid i'll lose track of the directions hfhsh#i could have the instructions etched into my brain and i'm still going to be So sure i imagined them wrong or something lolll#//MAN. i should... [<- staring into the abyss very hard]#!!!!!!#i think i'm in a pocket of hyperness for some reason where did this come from Hfbsvbhf#/hey does being excited hurt sometimes lol#like if i don't throw it out somehow it feels like my chest is constricting and it'll do it to such an extent that i'll become a black hole#bhsf :>#when i was younger i just avoided things that made me too Whee cuz i didn't like it hfvbsh#but now i just sort of put it all into happy handing it so hard i hurt my wrists a lil hfhs :3#//anyway my computer's getting hot oo#i should turn on my cooling thing#oh and also prolly finish this piece lol#/i might make it a small comic (love short comics sm (i have so many)) out of it but who knows hfh :>>#//duos my beloved <33
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flowersforabby · 22 days
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first time with loser!gf!ellie
she drags the tips of her fingers gently down your side, almost as if she's afraid to shatter you.
"you can tell me to stop," ellie says, voice so delicate that it teeters on becoming one with the low hum of the room.
"i don't know why you think i want to," you sigh, a small smile tugging on your lips as you shift to hold yourself up on your elbows.
her hand finds its way to one of your knees, both of which are propped up on the bed, rubbing soothing circles whilst her other hand lays awkwardly in her lap, fidgeting with the hem of her pants. the upper half of her body is bare, yet you keep your gaze focused on her face.
she looks pretty, in this light. the loose strands of her hair framing her freckled face. the way her eyes are illuminated by the light of your nightstand. the permanent slight pout to her lips. ellie looks different from the girl you'd fallen for, all those years ago, but this ellie- she's yours.
"i don't want you to feel like you're being rushed into this, or shit,"
"i'm ready if you are," you say.
she lets out a weak attempt of a laugh. "now you're just making me even more nervous,"
"i wouldn't want my first time to be with anyone but you,"
for a moment, the girl falls silent in thought.
you reach out for her hand, mirroring the motion she's doing on your knee. her eyes follow as you do so, yet she stays quiet for just a moment longer.
"i want to do it, but only if you do," you say. "i don't mind waiting, i don't mind if you want to do it right now, tomorrow, or whenever. i really don't care, ellie, i just care that i'm doing it with you,"
"yeah," ellie says, sucking in a deep breath. "let's do it,"
"okay,"
"but you gotta tell me if-"
"shut up, ellie."
"i don't want to hurt you,"
"you won't. i'll tell you if you do, but you won't. i know you,"
"yeah, kay,"
ellie slips her hand up your unclothed thigh, your shorts having been discarded a while ago, leaving you in only your undergarments. her skin is warm against you and she's never felt so real, so there. she leans down to peck your lips but before she gets the chance to fully pull away, you wrap your arms around her neck, pulling her in, her chest pressed against yours. a surprised huff escapes her mouth as she holds herself up with one arm. she's careful not to pull away from you as she makes herself comfortable, one knee between your legs and the other by your side. you always find yourself wanting more of her and you're pretty sure that soon enough, ellie won't have any more of herself to give.
you're caught off guard when you feel her knee pressed right against where you're most sensitive, letting out a choked breath as you stop sucking on her tongue. ellie pulls away, a small grin on her face, but it does barely anything to mask the nerves.
"shit babe," you say. "should i be worried you know 'bout that?"
her grin grows almost shy. "i'm not all that clueless,"
"oh?"
her hand finds itself on your jaw, guiding your lips back towards hers. she bites on your bottom lip slightly- your thing, which she stole, but you can't really complain because at least, she's doing it to you. your hands slowly travel up her sides, giving her the chance to push them away at any moment; she doesn't. ellie muffles a whine by pressing her lips harder onto yours, when you cup your hands around both her breasts, gently fondling with her pebbled nipples. she's eager with her kisses, chasing after you whenever you pull away to catch a breath. it's a side of her you don't see often, and it's somehow hard to believe that your sweet, loving girlfriend could be so… hungry.
"fuck," you hiss, biting back a moan.
this ellie, she's foreign to you. she's soft and slippery and sticky, slotted right against you. one of her legs is trapped beneath yours, the other, above. a pink flush is evident on her cheeks and the glassy look in her eyes, you've never seen her quite so desperate. her noises are dizzying- a varied array of curses, gasps, whines and moans that only fuels you further. you've got your hands pressed right against her chest, feeding into her laboured breathing whenever your fingers brush her sensitive nipples.
"wanna hear you," you mutter, leaning down to pepper a line of kisses down the side of  her jaw. 
ellie furrows her brows, her finger digging further into her hips as she tries to grind harder up into you, clits bumping together and making her whine. "fuck, babe,"
her desperation spurs you on, alongside the want to please her, to make her feel good. you ignore the soreness of your thighs, trying to keep on going despite the movement of your hips already starting to falter. ellie's wetness coats both your thighs and her own, even slicking down to the bedsheet with an evidently darker patch beneath her. the room feels hot and heavy, your moans echoing throughout your bedroom.
"think i'm gonna cum," ellie gasps. "shit,"
it's quite a sight quitewordly, when she does. she squeezes her eyes shut, tears pooling in the creases and she throws her head back into her pillows. the entirety of her body tenses up and it's a moment before she starts shaking, breathy gasps escaping past her lips as she digs her fingers deeper into your thighs.
"please, please," she begs, looking up at you through her eyelashes.
when your clits slide over each other once again, ellie abandons one of your thighs to clasp her hand tightly around her mouth, letting out a shaky whine.
eventually, you fall victim to her overstimulation, being pushed away right when you're about to cum. she's frantic with her apologies, repeatedly trying to explain that it's really too much for her and she can't bear to feel you brush up against her once more. you shut her up with a series of messy kisses, trying to ignore the throbbing of your core as you try to convince that really, it's fine. she doesn't think it is, no matter how hard you try to convince her, and ellie settles on slipping her hand right in between the two of you, rubbing tight circles on your clit and bringing you to what you had been craving for so long.
not proofread!!
a/n: this was supposed to have been based on this but i gave up
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deadsetobsessions · 28 days
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Danny hadn't ever been on this side of the equation before.
He stared at his old phone, the prickle of unease scratching at his neck.
Danny was the one that died. He was the one that died and came back. He'd never asked anyone how it had felt to see him die over and over again to become Phantom. Danny was starting to think that maybe he should have, if only so that he wouldn't be blindsided about what he felt now.
"Danny? Y'okay?"
Danny glanced up at the mumbled words, numbed eyes looking at Jason's sleep-heavy face.
"Hm?"
"Ya've been lookin' at that thing for an hour now. You good?"
Danny blinked at him, like the world was a sea of bittersweet molasses and he was the sailor drowning beneath its waves. "...Remember how I told you that you reminded me of my sister?"
There was apprehension on Jason's face now. It was a gentle kind of apprehension, softened by worry and love.
“Yeah…?”
Danny gestured for Jason to come closer. He opened the phone and tapped on Jazz.
“Woah. She kinda looks like me.” Jason tugged at his black hair. “Y’know, if I kept my red hair.”
Danny smiled, sad and tired. “Yeah. She really liked reading. And she always wanted to know more. Help more. Like you,” Danny’s eyes laid on the folded uniform of Robin on the kitchen table. He hugged Jason closer. “You remind me of her.”
“What… what happened to her?”
Danny hadn’t cried for a long, long time. Even when Jazz spoke to him in half remembered whispers and in Jason’s actions, he could not shed a tear. But something about today, something about those pictures, opened up a poorly scabbed wound and Danny’s face dripped with slow tears.
“She died,” he whispered. “I brought the vigilante life to her and she died protecting me.”
“Oh. That’s why you were so mad, then.” Jason looked down at the picture, blue eyes tracing the face of the woman that looked so similar to him.
“Yeah.”
“I won’t die, Danny,” Jason promised.
"Don't make promises you can't keep, Jay." Danny squeezed Jason's shoulders before wiping away his tears. He inhaled, a slow, shuddering breath, before straightening. "You are so grounded."
"But- Robin!"
"Jason will always come before Robin. And Jason is grounded because Jason lied to me about being Robin and where he was going and whether or not he was safe."
And really, wasn't that the crux of the issue? Danny didn't have any problem with Jason going out and starting fights. He had no problem with how Jason wanted to help. But the thought of loosing him- loosing his loved ones after only learning to keep them clutched to his heart before he looses them- drove Danny down a spiral that he could not afford to enter again.
How many times had Danny almost lose Jason? How many times did he come to loosing the only good thing in Gotham? How many times had he laid asleep, not knowing whether Jason was bleeding out in an alley somewhere? How close had Danny come to waking up to news of Jason's cold corpse?
It made him furious. More than that, it made him terrified. Never in his half life had he ever been afraid to this extent. Not even for Jazz. It made him want to drown the feeling with enough booze to down a speedster. But he couldn't. Not now, not with Jason. His little brother deserved better than that. Not to mention the shit his little brother would get up to if he weren't fully there.
"But first, you gotta help me with something."
"... Fine."
Danny got up and bee-lined towards his booze stash. They're going out. Right now. He shoved the bottles into a tote bag.
"Let's go. We're destroying this."
"We are?"
"I can't be drunk and teach you how to vigilante."
"You're okay with me being Robin?" Hesitant blue eyes peered up at him. Danny's heart melted, the traitorous little shit.
"Not really. But I can't stop you, so I might as well make sure you live past 25." He jabbed Jason's forehead. "And I'll be reaming out Batman the next time he swings by, now that I'm not pissed as hell. I'll make sure it hurts."
"He's not that bad."
Danny sent him an unimpressed look and Jason mimed zipping his mouth closed, twisiting an imaginary key and throwing it over his shoulder. The little shit thinks he's got jokes. (He does, but Danny's supposed to be mad with him right now, so he'll never admit he thinks Jason's funny.)
They walked out of the apartment complex and turned to the right, right into the alley.
Did his heart give a little twinge every time Jason tossed the booze? Yes. But the hopeful thrill in his little brother's countenance made up for every single penny he spent.
"So... How long am I grounded for?"
At the reminder, Danny's hands clamped around one of the last bottles a little harsher than necessary.
"You... are grounded for- till college." He gritted out, tossing the bottle.
Jason's horrified "For- till college?!" rang nicely against the shattering of Danny's booze. Danny grinned and gave Jason a noogie.
"For till college," He affirmed, joking tone making Jason grumble, struggling to get out of the hold. "Or, for like, a week."
---
"Hey, Danny?"
Danny grunted, rousing slightly from his nap on the couch. They had been watching a show in the middle of Jason's grounding when he had drifted off.
"Did I ever tell you I had a brother?"
Danny's eyes flew open. "... No. Do you want to?"
Danny swiveled his head to look at Jason, who sat with his back against the couch and his head set aglow by the light of the TV. He looked... sad. Lonely.
"His name was Danny too."
Danny's heart shot right up to his throat. "Yeah?"
"Yeah. He died." Danny couldn't help the thought that passed him. Me too, buddy, me too. "I thought you were him. 'S why I talked ta ya, even if y're drinkin'."
Danny tilted his head back, silently closing his eyes in grief. It was fate, that wily Ancient.
"Is that... bad?"
"Nah. You're as good a brother as he was."
"Thank you for telling me, Jason."
"Whatever."
Danny laid back down, the thread of a memory all but confirming his theory.
"Come on, Danny-o, Jazz was being a good sister!"
Five year old Danny pulled the blanket up to his chin, pouting. His mother laughed.
"That's right, sweetie. She was trying to make sure you didn't get sick."
"I don't want Jazz! I want- I want a brother instead!"
His parents exchanged amused looks. "Well, Danny-o, you almost had a brother."
"Really?" Danny turned around, curious.
"Really. If Jazz was a boy, we would have named him Jason!" His dad laughed, ruffling his hair.
Danny wrinkled his nose. "Ew. I like Jazz better... oh."
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DPXDC prompt: Valentine's day spirit. Superbat edition.
When Phantom sets foot on the Justice League base many years later, he expects anything but not Flash pointing finger at him and screaming about "legendary child who made Superbat canon".
~~~~
Being in Metropolis because of a ghost hunt right in the middle of a battle between Lex Luthor and Superman was not the best outcome, especially considering that Jack had his three-year-old son with him. But without such a combination of circumstances, they would never have found out that "Ghost!" "Daddy, no!" Ectoblast that Jack shot at the target of their hunt touches Superman and..really hurts him.
There were two sides to Danny-the ghostbuster's son and the astronerd. It is clear which half of him did not have a chance to win.
Danny threw his space rocket toy aside and grabbed father's arm. In the next second, boy had already sunk his teeth into Jack's fingers, forcing him to drop weapon. Youngling quickly jumped off and picked up ectoblast and then ran towards Superman. "Fly away! I'll hold him!" Danny stood up to try to cover up ghost (or alien?) in case Dad took not one but a whole bunch of shooting things with him again.
Jack: Get away from my son, ghost. Superman: Sir, I'm sure this is some kind of misunderstanding, I'm not a ghost. Jack: Danny, come to me, he's trying to hide his identity and manipulate us. Danny: No. If the heroes are being attacked, then someone must protect them too. Jack: But he's a ghost.. Danny: Alien or ghost is not so important, Daddy. He's in pain, and he's protecting this city, not haunting it. It's wrong to try to catch him for experiments. I forbid you to do that. Jack: Danny, champ, you're wrong.
Lex: Hah, what an interesting substance. Despite the other aggregate state, or rather its absence, it is so similar to kryptonite. Superman: Lex, is this a portable lab? Now is not the time, in case you haven't noticed. Lex: There is always time for science. I think my colleague will agree, right? "Similar to kryptonite?" Jack muttered to himself.
Jack: So Superman wasn't my target. And we are not colleagues. There is only one insanely rich man with questionable moral values with whom I am ready to do work, and your surname is clearly not Masters. Lex: It's a pity, but still, if you want to carry out the delivery of your wonderful weapons or exchange experiences, then call this number. Luther quickly shoves a business card into Fenton's hand. Jack*throws it away*: Come on, son, let's go back to the hotel, you've skinned your knees.
~~~The Evening. The Roof of the mentioned hotel~~~
"My friend Sam is also very frightening. And she also likes dark.“ The boy paused for a minute of thinking. “You want to kiss your goth friend?" "W-What makes you think that, kid. We’re colleagues, I respect him very much and.." "So you want to. It’s okay, I’d like to kiss Sam too but I’m afraid she’s gonna hit me. You have the same problem?" "It’s a little more complicated for adults." Kal begins to explain but stumbles upon Danny’s completely unimpressed look. Yeah, this boy apparently has heard 'kids would understand when they grow up' lectures at least thousand times. "But you’re basically right."
~~~~
When Batman himself comes to their hotel the next day as a representative of the Justice League to make sure that Mr. Fenton has no desire to harm Superman in the future and to tell that Superman is not going to press charges because of the ectoblast that injured him, Danny refuses to leave the room.
Jack: Oh, Danny, I thought you dropped your space rocket yesterday, it's a good that Alicia's Christmas present isn't lost. Danny: Well, dad, I left it on the roof of a bad bad man, yeah, but Uncle Kal returned it last night and we talked for a while. Jack: About what? Space, my little star? *Father immediately assumes that Danny would like to ask about everything real alien*. Boy*blushes and shakes his head negatively*: No, not about it.
Jack: Then what it was about? Danny: Secret superhero things. I can't tell you. I agreed to withhold that information as part of a pinky swear. Batman: And what about me, young man? You can tell me, right? Batman couldn't resist talking with such a cute kid. The boy thinks only for a second before hurriedly trying to push his father out of the room. Danny: Dad, come out for a minute and don't eavesdrop. I'll tell you when you can come in. The big man laughingly obeys. Lil child checks the reliability of the closed door and runs up to Batman. Danny: And so, Mr. Batman, first promise not to laugh or hit Uncle Kal. Batman: I promise? Danny: Good. This is very important information. Batman: I'm listening.
Danny: He thinks you're terrifying and wants to kiss you. And since he is afraid that you will hit him for this, I recommended him to appease you with a pie cooked according to his mother's recipe. Well, you know, since you love sweets and his parents' farm has the most wonderful apples in all states. He rarely cooks himself, but he will try for you, so even if he doesn't succeed, pretend that you liked it, please. Batman:...
Batman: Would you like to work in intelligence for the Justice League when you grow up? Danny: Actually, I want to be an astronaut. Batman: Our base is located in space. Danny:
Danny: Hmm, then I'll think about your offer.
Batman: Great. It's a pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Fenton. You can count on a job recommendation from me. Do you want anything as compensation for your consultation? Danny: Actually, yes. Mr. Batman, tell me honestly, are you a bat on a frugivorous diet like Giant golden-crowned flying fox or you are a Vampire Bat? Sam says that such a big bat can only be a vegetarian and uncle Kal said your son was more than happy to steal strawberries from his garden with Superboy but..
~~~
Batman tries to behave naturally for a week. However, the sweet tooth inside him still makes him clamp Superman in the corner and question him. "Where the hell are the pies you promised to cook for me, Clark?"
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sweetnans · 5 months
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The teachers always said that you looked like a couple of grown-ups. The love that they expected from Bakugo to somebody else wasn't like the one that he gave you daily. They were stunned, to say the least. He became someone softer, someone who cared, someone who could stay quiet and just exist, not in loudly way.
The battle has just begun. You did your best trying to evacuate the town that was close to the hospital, and you were tired, strained just like your other classmates, Izuku, Ochaco, and Shoto.
The heroes set up multiple campaign tents to refuge the people and the heroes as well. They didn't have any news about what happened in Jaku but you could guess.
"You okay?" He said sitting beside you. Putting his arm behind your shoulders so you can lean on him.
"I'm tired and still shocked," you answered, looking around you. People running, trying to communicate with the other teams and with their relatives too. It was a mess. "We could've die"
"But we didn't," he shrugged simply. He was like that, the rock that grounded you to the earth when you tended to be emotional. "I'll never let anything happen to you, y'know"
"I know," you whispered, trying to restrain the tears that pricked in your eyes. "It's just... I'm scared that I'll lose you"
"Hah? What do you mean?" He elevated his voice just an octave to prove his points. He wanted to be loud, but the circumstances weren't very propitious.
"I know you, you say a lot that you don't care, but you do, and I'm afraid that you trying to save everyone is going to end up in you being hurt" you whispered, like you were telling a secret to him. "I'm so used to you. Please don't do anything stupid that will end up in you leaving me"
Being in a relationship with Bakugo was more easy than you could believe, but it wasn't a walk in the park either. He didn't do emotions so well, and even if you did, you didn't show them often to not make him uncomfortable. But right now, you were dying to tell him everything and get it off of your chest.
After a long silence, you looked at him. His arm pressed tightly in your back. He was looking to nothing, passed the forest, just staring and thinking. You were everything to him, and it was unfair that both of you had to have this conversation so early in your life, damn you were only seventeen.
"I promise that nothing is going to happen to me or you, I'll always be here to protect you and keep you safe"
He looked directly to your eyes and pulled you tightly to his side. He wanted you to know that he meant it, every word. He would keep you safe and be safe just so you can't suffer.
"I love you, Katsuki," you said tearing up a little.
He rolled his eyes when he saw that little tear spilled from your right eye.
"Yeah, yeah, I love you too, brat." he cleaned the stain from the tear of your face and reached something behind himself. "Got you soup, I bet you haven't eaten"
"Thanks," you said, taking it from his hand.
The silence between the two of you was pretty comfortable. You enjoyed the company of each other more than you could ever expect, the quietness, you wouldn't even imagine it from the loudest of your classmates.
"I can't die," he said out of nothing. You glanced at him with a lifted brow. "Who's going to take care of you? Shitty hair? Fucking Deku? No way, I'm not leaving your side".
You laughed at him while shaking your head, he was something else.
"You still got concrete on your face," you pointed out while taking a spoon of soup.
"Can you believe that a group of old hags tried to take it off with their wet fingers?" He said with disgust all over his face.
"Wet with...
"Saliva" he stated looking at you with big eyes.
"Ew," you said, shrieking with laughter. "Let me do it for you"
You wet your finger, and he let you willingly. After you smudged the concrete out of his face, you sealed it with a loud kiss in his cheek.
"Y'know what I think of PDA," he quirked a brow at you.
"And you know what I think of what you think"
You answered, kissing him all over his face to prove your point. He gave up after a few kisses, kissing you back.
Do not edit or reupload my works elsewhere! All rights reserved.
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sanguineterrain · 4 months
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Hey, I love your writing, your Jason fics are always so tender and authentic
I was wondering if you would write something where Reader is pulled aside by someone and asked whether they're in danger (since Jason is pretty big and intimidating) and later they laugh it off because they find it absurd but it gets to Jason and perhaps brings some insecurities to the surface
this is actually devastating!!! thank you for requesting 🤌
jason todd x gn!reader. tw: wrongly assumed abuse and jason being gutted at the idea, hurt/comfort, reassurance, estab relationship.
****
"Chocolate is obviously superior."
Jason sighs, flopping against the diner booth dramatically. "What a shame to be so wrong. Vanilla stays on top."
"Vanilla is boring as hell, Jay," you say, throwing your napkin at him. He catches it. Of course. "On the milkshake hierarchy, vanilla is barely a step above whatever monstrosity a peppermint bark shake is."
"Buddy, I happen to like drinking toothpaste." He points a finger at you. "And that's my God-given right."
"It's an abomination is what it is." You take a long, pointed sip of your shake. "Mm, the taste of good choices."
Jason traps both of your legs between his under the table. You gasp and try to wiggle free, but his strength is merciless.
"If it's an abomination, why is it on the menu?" he asks, grinning as you squirm.
"Well, what else are they meant to serve you freaks?"
Jason gently tugs you forward by your legs. He leans over the table. You meet him halfway.
"This freak appreciates the thought," he says and kisses you.
He tastes like vanilla shake. It's not what you'd order, but you really don't mind kissing it off of Jason's mouth. Funny how that works.
He pulls away and releases your legs, then scoots out of the booth.
"Gonna take care of business. Don't drink my incredibly irresistible shake."
"I'll certainly try," you say, looking up at him with what are undoubtedly giant heart eyes.
Jason disappears to the restrooms. You drink your shake and focus on trying to craft the straw wrapper into a snake.
You're close to shaping it when a woman comes up to your table. You've never seen her in your life.
"Uh, hi," you say. "Can I help you?"
She glances around the diner before leaning down.
"Hey. Look, if you're... in need of someplace safe, there's a great shelter downtown."
Your brows rise. "I'm sorry?"
"I was in your shoes once too," she says, eyes wide. "You don't have to rely on a guy to get you on your feet. Especially someone like him."
You shake your head slowly. "I... what? I don't understand. The man I'm with, he's my boyfriend."
She looks skeptical. You turn to face her fully, because now you're properly bewildered.
"Uh, I appreciate that you're looking out for people, and I know stuff you're referring to is everywhere in Gotham. But I promise I'm okay."
"I know physical intimidation is scary—"
"Whoa." You hold up a hand. "Just because he's a big guy doesn't mean he's throwing me around. He's the gentlest man you'll ever meet. I love him and he loves me. No one is in danger."
The woman's mouth pinches. You don't even have it in you to be upset. You've never once felt afraid of Jason. But you forget how he looks to others, how he's twice or triple most people's size and covered in scars.
"Here's the number to the shelter," she says, slipping the paper under the salt shaker. "In case you change your mind."
She hurries out the door before you can respond. You stare at the card, then shrug. You suppose, if anything, you're happy there are still good Samaritans in Gotham.
Presently, Jason returns. He purposely makes his footsteps heard because of the countless times you've lectured him about scaring the shit out of you due to his habit of going stealth mode without realizing.
"Hello, dearest," he says. "I've returned from war."
"My hero. Did you wash your hands in battle?"
Jason slides into the booth and sticks his hand in your face. "Smell 'em and rejoice, baby."
You take his hand and give it a deep sniff. It indeed smells like soap. Not that you ever doubted your boyfriend's handwashing capabilities.
"Smells like... wrong opinions about milkshakes," you say, then kiss his palm.
He rolls his eyes. "I can see my absence has taught you nothing. Unfortunate."
"I'm stubborn. I'm sure you of all people can understand that," you say, smiling.
"Mm. Y'lucky you're cute."
Your food arrives, the waitress cheerily informing you that she hopes you enjoy your meal.
"I think she's the happiest person in Gotham," Jason says, shaking the ketchup bottle.
You take a fry from his plate. "Probably a Metropolis native."
"Y'know my fries are the exact same as yours, right?"
"Nope," you say. "Yours have special boyfriend cooties on them. Adds flavor."
"You're gross," Jason says, quite lovingly.
You make a heart with your hands. He returns it, then takes a bite of his burger.
You don't even register it when Jason grabs the salt shaker. You're zeroed in on your lunch and don't look up until he speaks.
"What's this?"
Jason's holding the shelter hotline card.
"Oh! Some lady came over and gave that to me."
"Gave it to you?"
You should clock Jason's tone and the way he's stopped eating completely. But the experience was so odd that you can't fathom Jason thinking it as anything but a mistake.
"Yeah. For some reason, she thought I was here drinking a milkshake with you against my will. Probably 'cause it's Gotham, and you're my BBB: big beefcake boyfriend. Little does she know, I'm the heavyweight boxing champion of Park Row."
You swirl your fries in Jason's ketchup. He doesn't even blink. Usually, he'd give you a raised eyebrow and pretend he's cross.
Jason's still staring at the card. You catch his legs with yours. He doesn't look up.
"Jay?" you ask, smile fading. You drop your legs. "Hey. Y'good?"
"Hm? Oh. Sorry, baby." He puts the card aside and smiles at you, quick and strained.
"Everything okay?" you ask.
"Yeah. Uh, fine."
"Jason." You lean over and grab his hand. "What's wrong?"
He swallows. You wait, the noise of the diner fading. All that matters is whatever's causing his absolutely heartbreaking expression.
"How could she think I'm hurting you?" Jason whispers, finally looking at you. "How could—I would never hurt you."
"Oh, Jay. Honey, that's why I hardly entertained her. It was so silly to think about. I was so puzzled at first that I couldn't even decipher what she meant."
"But what if... y'know, maybe she sensed something about me. Sensed violence. I get it. I'd–I'd be scared of me if I were a regular person."
"Jason, sweetie, no. No, no, no. I think that woman experienced some hard things in her life, and that caused her to see something that wasn't there. She had good intentions, but she was absolutely wrong. I know you have a past, but I've never felt unsafe with you. Never. I could never be afraid of you."
Jason gnaws on the inside of his cheek. You get up and slide in next to him, crowding him against the wall. You curl against his arm.
"You love me so well, I forget that most people see a monster when I walk down the street," he says.
You squeeze your eyes closed. Pins in your heart.
"You're not a monster, Jay. You're good. I know it. Your family knows it. You're a protector."
He takes a deep breath. "If–if you ever felt afraid of me, ever, and you wanted me to stay away, then you tell me so, and I'd leave you alone. No questions asked."
"Jason," you whisper. You wrap your arm around his neck and pull him close. The vinyl squeaks as you shift. "Jay, I love you. I don't want you to leave me alone."
"But if—"
"No. Please listen to me. I know you'd never hurt or frighten me. Sometimes, people are wrong. She was wrong about you. She was kind but wrong."
You sit like that for a bit, feeling each other breathe. Jason's hand grazes yours. You grab it, lacing your fingers together.
"I love you too," he says quietly. "Never felt anything but love for you."
You smile and steal another fry off his plate. He snorts.
"I know." You lean against his shoulder. "Never doubted it."
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runa-falls · 1 year
Note
I saw that you think Miguel is a thigh man 😩 can I request him x reader who's thighs clap when they run or so some type of activities. I got that problem sadly 😵‍💫😮‍💨
yes, of course!! i love talking ab our thigh fucker ;^)
cw: body insecurities, thigh chafing (yeouch), fluffy reassurances, small bit of smut (OK IM SORRY 😳 i didn't see that coming [yes i did.]), just oral and uh, a bit of marking, not proof read!!
---
you've never enjoyed prolonged physical activity: running, swimming, biking, etc, because you hated the way your thighs would slide against each other; uncomfortably chafing your skin and making noticeable sounds.
so when miguel proposed a hike for your weekly date, you were hesitant to agree. unfortunately, he's very good at persuading you...
that's how you found yourself on a narrow trial shrouded with trees, taking slow, cautious steps as you attempt to keep your thighs from touching as much as usual.
of course, it only helped so much. your inner thighs were still chafing and getting sore, but you try to conceal your pain as much as possible, too embarrassed to mention anything to miguel.
though your boyfriend is the most loving and accepting man you've ever met, you still haven't told him of your insecurity. you're afraid that once you mention something to him, he'll notice your thighs even more.
miguel is pacing himself, making sure to slow down with you so he doesn't leave you behind (he does this hike all the time). he adjusts his baseball cap, making sure his wild curls are smooshed down as he watches you walk toward him.
you look beautiful today. you always look beautiful. but there's something about see you in this condition that make him twitch in his shorts.
he loves the way your chest heaves as you take deep breaths, your tits pressing desperately against the thin fabric. how droplets of sweat roll over the contours of your cleavage, outlining what he wants to see the most. and how your leggings look like they were painted on, completely revealing the overwhelming softness of your thighs and how they press so sweetly together.
he can barely take his eyes off of you.
but he can't help but notice how odd you're acting too.
he's perplexed as to why you're taking such big steps and moving like you'd rather be anywhere but there, with him. why your face is tense, yet completely blank at the same time.
there's clearly something wrong, but you've been silent this whole hike.
"baby, you doing alright?" you seem to be lost in your thoughts as you stare down at your dirt-scuffed sneakers, you don't even notice he's stopped in front of you. he calls out to you again, "babe?"
"hm?" you look up, pausing your unnatural movements to give your legs a rest, "oh, yeah...i'm fine" you attempt a smile, but even you can tell it looks fake and performative. his eyes bloom with concern as he notices how your legs are shaking under you.
"what's going on, sweetheart? are you hurt?"
"no...it's just," you look away, still apprehensive to mention anything.
he pushes, hand reaching for yours, "just what?"
"i-my thighs are chafing..." you say softly, looking back at him. he's frowning. "b-but i can keep going!" you start walking again, willing yourself to continue even though it hurts.
"baby, wait," he stops you, "don't hurt yourself. i didn't realize you were having trouble this whole time."
you shrug, "it's ok, i'm used to it."
"sweetheart, come here." he has his back turned towards you, coaxing you over to him. "get on."
"get on?"
"i'll carry you back to the car."
"no! you don't have to--"
"i want to." he interrupts, "then when we get home, we'll take a nice bath and get you all patched up."
"what about the rest of the trail?"
"we can just get our work out in at home..."
---
you sigh as warm water washes over the inflamed skin of your inner thighs. it stings sharply, but the pain feels oddly satisfying, especially as miguel thoroughly lathers shampoo in your hair.
"feel better?"
you hum, eyes closing as his fingers attentively massage your scalp.
"why didn't you tell me that you were hurting earlier?"
"i dunno, it just wasn't that big of a deal, mig."
"it was. you were barely able to sit without your hands between your thighs."
you snort, "i thought you liked it when i do that."
you yelp when you feel him tug sharply at your hair. "you know what i meant." he growled, clearly unhappy you're trying to avoid the subject.
"it's embarrassing."
"what's embarrassing?" his hands start to cup water onto your head, washing the suds from your hair until you're squeaky clean.
"my thighs." his movements stop suddenly.
"what about them?"
"they're...too big."
"too big?" he genuinely sounds baffled, almost scoffing in disbelief.
"yeah, they're always touching and they make this...clapping sound when i do certain physical movements..."
"so?"
"so?" you turn your head to look at him, questioning eyes meeting his scarlet stare. his red irises are mere slivers with how blown out his pupils are, heavy with lust.
"yeah, so what?"
"so...i don't like them." you voice is small as you look at him shyly, cheeks blooming with heat under the stringiness of your wet hair.
"well i love them."
---
miguel presses gentle and sweet kisses over your tender skin, relieving all the pain from your chafed inner thighs with just a touch of his lips. your legs are hooked over his shoulders as he makes his way up your body.
the prominent shape of his fangs press against his top lip as his sharp maroon stare fixes right at the apex of your thighs. you can tell he's holding himself back by the way his fingers grip bruises into the tops of your legs.
"baby, you have no idea," he takes a deep breath, eyes closed as his nose nuzzles at your inner thigh, "how fucking perfect you are."
"mig, please!"
he smiles cloyingly, letting you watch his fangs retract before he dips his head closer to your center. he wouldn't want to hurt you...
he locks eyes with you when he experimentally slips his tongue through your soaking lips, only giving you enough attention to keep you buzzing. he's delicately laving against you, feeling you tense and pant under him as he slowly builds up your pleasure.
a haze of lust instantly clouds over his darkened eyes and you watch as he gets lost in the taste of you. he pushes in deeper, tongue fucking you, slurping and sucking, while spilling muffled groans over your pulsing cunt as your thighs begin to tighten around him.
he flicks over your aching clit, drinking in your whimpers, moans, and cries as he teases you, pulling back every so often until you bury your hand into his curls and force him down onto you.
you're nearly suffocating him with your thighs when he start suckling you into his mouth, muscles trembling against him as you grow closer to the edge, and he loves it.
his silky lips and slick tongue push you straight off the edge. you hold on to him as your body writhes with white hot pleasure, hand in his hair and thighs around his head. you can barely hear the muffled groans he makes from how lost in ecstasy you are.
but he groans, and grunts, and then freezes.
"did i just..." he unwraps your legs from around him and sits up, tugging his briefs down in disbelief. your bleary eyes open, eyes glazed and unfocused from the intensity of your orgasm. "shit."
you look down and are graced with a beautiful mess that drips from his cock and the black fabric of his boxers.
you can't help the amused smile that spreads over your lips, "you need some help cleaning that up?"
4K notes · View notes
lihhelsing · 1 month
Text
steddie | 1.6k | mature | angst
cw: mentions of parental abuse (verbal)
written for @steddieangstyaugust day 21
Prompt: Please
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The second Eddie steps into the kitchen, he knows something is wrong. 
Steve always says he doesn't mind doing the dishes and Eddie has given up on arguing with him about it long ago.
He watches as his boyfriend stands in front of the sink. On any day, he would find Steve whistling to some pop song, swaying his hips to whatever rhythm he has in his head as he soaps up their dishes. 
He's usually happy when he does it. Tells Eddie it always helps. And Eddie can't quite put his finger on what's wrong but he's definitely not happy. 
Eddie walks up to him slowly, and once he's a little closer he can see Steve's shoulders shaking. It's barely there and Eddie is unsure what to do, but when he reaches his hand and touches Steve, he knows that's the wrong choice.
Steve recoils, dropping whatever he was holding in his hand with a loud noise inside the sink and Eddie pulls back.
He's not sure what's happening, but he doesn't like it one bit. 
"Hey, hey. Steve. Look at me. What's wrong baby? 
Steve turns to him and his face is red and wet from the tears spilling down. Eddie feels his inside twisting, and his mind goes straight to Dustin and the kids. 
Something happened to them, and somehow Steve knows it and-
"P-please," Steve says, so fucking small. "Please, don't be mad."
Eddie frowns, his brain scrambling to catch up. 
"Why would I be mad?" 
At first, it seems like Steve's not going to say anything but then he moves to the side and Eddie sees the sink. 
The sink is a mess. And Steve is usually a neat guy so it takes Eddie one second to adjust. And then, he sees the blood.
It's not a lot of blood, but it's definitely blood. Eddie tries not to freak out because he knows it'll only make it worse
"What happened, sweetheart?" Usually, Steve loves when Eddie uses pet names, but today? Today he almost folds in on himself.
"I broke a-a mug," Steve says and Eddie has to hold himself together, afraid of hurting his feelings with the tiniest reaction.
"That's... ok," Eddie says, hoping that's the right answer. Steve doesn't relax but he also doesn't get worse, so he counts that as a win.
"No, Eddie. I broke a mug. And it's your favorite," Steve says and Eddie nods softly.
"Is it the Garfield one?" Eddie asks and Steve's eyes widen. He nods, doesn't meet his eyes. 
Eddie actually dislikes that mug. It was his father's and he felt obliged to keep it, but he kept hoping it would break. Nothing against Garfield, but he would much rather not have anything to remember his father by. 
"Well," Eddie looks at the sink, "I'll clean it. And you can go sit in the living room and I'll be there in a second to patch you up." 
Steve doesn't move. He just shakes his head and Eddie is a little lost. Maybe his hand is hurting so he tries to grab it but Steve flinches, back hitting the sink and making a pan slide down. 
"Baby, what... what is it?" Eddie asks. He's at a loss here and has no idea what to do. If nothing works, he'll have to call Robin because Steve is clearly about to have a breakdown.
"You're mad," Steve says. And... no. Eddie's not mad. Why would he be mad over a dumb mug? Even if it was his favorite, Eddie wouldn’t be made. Accidents happen and he’s honestly more worried that Steve is hurt than anything else.
"I'm not, Stevie,” he tries to sound sincere, but it’s like Steve has checked out of their conversation. Like he’s lost inside his own head.
"I broke your favorite mug. I made a... a mess. But I'm gonna clean it up." 
Eddie shakes his head. "You'll do no such thing. You're gonna go to the living room and you're gonna let me clean it. And then you’re going to wait for me because I need to take a look at your hand, need to make sure it’s just a superficial cut."
Eddie moves again and Steve freezes. 
"No! I'm gonna clean it," he says and Eddie is starting to get tired. He wants to fix it, he wants to help Steve, but he’s not sure how. 
There’s a little voice inside his head that tells him this is not about this particular mug on this particular day. Eddie likes to think he’s a nice boyfriend. Treats Steve well. Because he does. Never did anything to make Steve think he would be mad over a broken mug and definitely wouldn’t be mad about any mess. 
Everyone knows Steve is the one putting up with Eddie’s messy ass. 
Then, like a lightning bulb, something clicks, and Eddie decides to try something. 
"Steve," he says, voice stern, and Steve looks like he was expecting it. "Go to the living room. Right now. I'll be there in a second." 
Eddie hates the way his voice sounds. He’s not being rude, just a little more firm than he would usually be with Steve. 
Steve likes soft and sweet. But this seems to do the trick. He watches as Steve’s eyes fall to the ground with a small nod and then he walks away, pressing his hands together to keep the blood from dripping everywhere.
He sighs. He feels so out of his depth right now it's not even funny. He wants to call Buckley and ask her what she thinks, but he can’t right now. Steve would definitely hear it and that wouldn’t end up well. 
Eddie gets to cleaning. He collects the broken pieces and feels like the mug is mocking him, telling him how dumb and useless he is. Can’t even help his boyfriend.
He’s not in any rush. Feels like Steve could use the quiet time to calm down. To maybe tell Eddie what’s happening and then Eddie will fix it.
But that’s not what happens.
Steve is sitting on the couch, head low as he clutches his hand. His sweatpants are stained with blood and Eddie knows he'll have to ask Wayne how to clean them. 
"Steve," he says softly but even that makes him jump. He looks up at him and his eyes are glassy and distant. Eddie fucking hates it.
"I'm sorry," he says again and Eddie sighs. He doesn't know what's happening but he has a hunch and he's going to go with it. 
"It's ok. It was an accident," he says and he can see Steve shaking his head. "Stop. I'm talking now." 
Eddie's voice is calm but firm and Steve just nods, sniffling. 
"I wouldn't lie to you, would I?" Eddie asks.
Steve shakes his head. That's not enough. 
"Words, Steve. Would I lie to you?" 
"N-no," Steve says and Eddie offers him the hint of a smile. 
"Right. So, I'm not mad that you broke the mug, ok?" 
Steve nods. "Ok."
"I am mad, though," Eddie starts and he sees fear in Steve's eyes. His insides twist. He's either going to nail this or ruin his relationship. "That you hurt yourself and didn't call for me. Why didn't you call me for, Stevie?"
He says the last part a little softer. Steve's eyes are on him and this is it. Either he cracks him or fucks this up completely. 
"I... didn't want you to be mad," he says. 
"Because of the mug?" 
"Y-yeah," Steve's voice shakes and Eddie takes a step forward. "I didn't mean to, it slipped from my hand and broke, and I thought you would be mad." 
"Baby," Eddie says. It's hard to keep his stance. He wants to hold Steve and kiss him and promise him things are ok, but he needs Steve to see it first. "I wouldn't. I couldn't. You know that, don't you?" 
Steve doesn't seem sure but he nods. And it’s after a long sigh that he keeps talking, "my... dad.  He always got mad. Always yelled at me and called me stupid." 
Eddie sighs. Bingo. 
"I'm not your dad though, am I?" 
"N-no."
"Who am I?" Eddie asks and Steve looks at him and his face finally softens. 
"You're Eddie. My... boyfriend" 
Eddie smiles. "Yeah, I am. And I don't get mad, do I?"
"Only..." Steve says. He looks like a kid, afraid to get the answer wrong. "Only if I hurt myself and don't call you." 
Eddie feels his chest filling up with pride. He nods, takes a step forward, and puts his hand on Steve's face. 
"Yeah. That's right. Because it's ok to ask for help. I'll always help you, ok? I'll always take care of you, Stevie. And I'll never get mad at something like this, ok?" 
Steve's eyes flutter shut. He's calmer now. He nods and nuzzles Eddie's hand. 
"Ok, Eddie. Thank... thank you." 
Eddie caresses his face. "You're welcome, sweetheart. I got you, ok? Can I clean you up?" 
Steve nods. "Please."
God. Eddie's heart is in pieces right now. He's so sad and so angry at the same time. He wants to storm into the Harrington's house and beat the shit out of Richard Harrington. 
He remembers seeing Steve walking around in school. Hidden bruises that no one seemed to notice. But Eddie did. 
He's going to kill that motherfucker.
But not right now. 
Right now he's going to take Steve to the bathroom in their tiny apartment. And he's going to clean him up and patch his cut. And he's going to take him to bed, to cuddle him and whisper in his hair how much he loves him. 
How he's the best thing that has ever happened to him. How Steve makes him so, so happy. How he wants to spend the rest of his life with him. 
But tomorrow? Tomorrow he's going to make sure no one hurts Steve ever again. 
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kirkwallsquad · 3 months
Text
favorite da2 battle lines in no particular order
i'm listening to a compilation by danaduchy on youtube rn so
literally every fenris line bcs everyone else is YELLING and he's just speaking in his regular quiet-ish voice. king what are you saying i can't HEAR YOU
except for when hawke goes down. THEN he's loudly upset.
"hawke's down! time to panic!" (isabela)
"the tame elf is down" (varric - what the fuck omg don't call fenris that)
"your pet elf has fallen" (carver - WHAT THE FUCK OMG DON'T CALL FENRIS THAT)
"that moody mage is down" (aveline)
"ugh, can someone pick up fenris please?" (merrill)
"isabela's on the ground... appropriately" (aveline - HELLO?!?!?!?)
"merrill! oh, blood mages are so dramatic" (isabela)
"aveline has fallen?" (fenris - why is this a question babe)
"they got whatshisname, the mage" (varric - i continue to believe he doesn't know anders' name until act 3)
"the dwarf has dropped a few more feet" (sebastian)
"dear varric, please learn to parry. love, your innards" (varric)
"do you have something for this, because it hurts" (carver)
"even my teeth hurt" (anders)
"i've got so many bruises now they've got names and families" (merrill)
"ugh, i have dirt in my mouth" (sebastian)
"you're going to let me walk around injured?" (carver)
"being close to death is very bad for my morale" (isabela)
sebastian describes his wounds as "oozing" or "seeping" more than once
"i know dalish are meant to be close to the earth, but we don't mean literally" (merrill)
"i'm alright, who needs kidneys anyway" (isabela)
"hawke. varric. i think this is bad." (merrill)
"stop being you and fix me up" (carver - BABY. BABY BROTHER.)
"that really gets the blood flowing" but also "i will fight and pray for forgiveness later" but also "this is much more exciting than the chantry!" (sebastian - what is wrong with you <3)
"my face is not a shield!" (hawke)
"and they say drinking doesn't solve anything" (isabela)
"haawke i can't mooove" (sebastian)
"i'm too far away, what do you want me to do? shout at them?" (isabela)
"i'd have to fly to reach! of course, i've always wanted to learn to fly" (merrill - she's literally the funniest person ever)
"alas, no" (fenris)
"my faith is my armor! my cause is my shield!" (sebastian)
"if we kill them, we get their stuff!" (isabela)
"andraste's knees, it's like herding cats!" (isabela)
"AFRAID YET?!" (anders)
"RUN! WHILE YOU CAN!" (anders - he's so loud i love him)
"another one for me! how many have you gotten, hawke?" (varric)
"ah. a shame that you're going to die, no?" (fenris)
"you. me. and an audience. that's what this is all about!" (carver)
"may the creators have mercy on you! i certainly won't." (merrill)
"destructive forces of nature, coming up!" (anders)
"suck on a fireball!" (anders)
"NEVER TAUNT A MAGE!!!" (anders)
"a thrust, now a parry" (fenris)
"i'm gonna taunt you in elvish now! durgen'len! aravel! vallaslin!" (merrill)
"hello, i'm merrill, and i'll be your distraction." (merrill)
"I'LL SHOW YOU WHY MAGES ARE FEARED!!!" (anders)
"maker please forgive your children" followed immediately by "DID YOU SEE THAT SHOT" (sebastian)
"WANT TO SEE WHAT'S UNDER THESE ROBES?!?!?!" (anders)
"I'M RIGHT HERE! HIT ME!" (isabela)
"maker, the idiocy" (bethany)
"MAKER BLESS YOUR CHILDREN IN THEIR HOUR OF NEEEED" (sebastian)
"my weapon does nothing??" (fenris - he sounds so puzzled help)
"this is SO not working" (anders)
"if the pointy sticks don't work, try the other pointy sticks" (isabela)
"ah, dear. why doesn't anyone ever want to be nice to us?" (merrill)
"is there an end to the people who hate you?" (aveline)
"looks like we've got a few more puppies to kick" (isabela - HELLO?!?)
"take a step, kill, repeat repeat repeat" (carver)
"the hate you inspire is unfortunate" (fenris)
"another twenty steps, another batch of deaths" (anders)
"nobody seems to like you. do you get used to that?" (merrill - ouch. brutal hskfjhgksdjfhg)
"i can't take credit for all of this. hawke helped a little bit" (isabela)
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noxtivagus · 2 years
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dfhaskdfjsdkf good day 😭
#🌙.vents#i don't remember sleeping this long i think i woke up 12 then 2 then#5. i wld've slept for longer if i didn't force myself to get up n i think the milk tea helped wake me a bit#i'm so..#the burden of my regrets r so suffocating. there are times i can't see anything else when i'm drowning in them.#if such trivial failures affect me this much then how tf will i survive in this cruel world?#i know i'll always find my way but i wonder the lengths of what i sacrifice. of what i deny and destroy within myself#& of how it'll affect me in the unforeseeable future. of what more loss and pain it'll bring in this world#compared to before i don't often put up a mask anymore. even if it's painful i choose to be authentic. i've improved in that sense#but it's not enough. perhaps i'm simply too harsh on myself; forgetting i am human and that i falter too. i'm not perfect n i shouldn't be.#even with my shortcomings there r ppl that stay. that say thank you. and. yeah. yeah.. that should be proof enough of real reciprocation#but.#i don't know am i really just so afraid of being forgotten? left behind? thinking of it n i used to write of that fear often back then#opening up to 'friends'. being told i was loved. that i would always have my place here#this is pathetic i grew up relying too much on success for my worth. i know i'm so much more but#i placed this on myself. this is the ocean i chose to drown myself in. so when i falter in the only thing i grew up being good that#bcs it hurts yk i used to draw. i painted a lot as a kid but what happened to that passion?#i used to write. a lot. but these past few years.. i don't know what's wrong with me. why it's so hard to do that again#piano. if i continued i would have.. i really had the potential to be. good. i mean i#i've never been a genius i've honestly always hated being called that. i know i've always been naturally smart but.#my hard-work carried me further. and i'm not.. smart enough or good enough to be a genius. never have been.#hollow compliments. before hs it was like everyone really just knew me for my brain. nothing of the way i wrote or my passions. just smarts#so now i'm just a shadow; a ghost of who i used to be. in that aspect at least. but. now w my other strengths they've been faltering too#i'm sorry i should've been better i should do more i know i can. but maybe i. i've always overestimated myself#i think when i was around 6-8 before grade school i can't really remember anymore but there was this competition i think#i would've gotten second if i didn't hesitate. if i didn't fucking hesitate. n i think that always stuck with me#bcs i was really quite the timid shy kid. even though i was older i wld be the one following apollo.. i'm sorry. they deserve more than me#bulbel is making me cry bye wtf
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berryz-writes · 3 months
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I'll try harder
11) Ends up in the infirmary a lot, Madam Pomfrey thinks he's a "troubled yet entertaining student"
Theo x reader
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"Where is my boyfriend?" I asked Draco, my annoyance increasing with his obvious distractions so he didn't have to answer my question.
He gave me a once over, his cool gaze unaffected by my anger "Your boyfriend is currently busy. I'm sure you'll see him tomorrow...or in a few days depending on the situation"
I was going to pull my hair out if I didn't get a direct answer soon "Draco Malfoy if you don't tell me right now I will drag Pansy here and tell her you like her"
His blank expression didn't change except the flicker of annoyance in his grey eyes "And where did you receive that false information from?"
I smiled at him "Just because it's false doesn't mean people aren't going to believe it. Did you know all it takes is one little whisper for a rumour to be spread across the whole of Hogwarts?"
Draco smirked, crossing his arms "Blackmailing me, y/l/n? Looks like Nott does benefit you in some way."
"Tell me"
"He's in the hospital wing and before you run away to mother him, if I hear a single word about me liking that awful witch-"
"Your threats don't matter to me right now, Malfoy. But thanks anyway" I rushed off to where he had said Theo was, trying to rid my thoughts of everything that I imagined had happened to him. He was fine walking off the quidditch pitch and there were no serious injuries while he played so why was he there?
I knocked on the door, making sure it was loud enough for someone to hear. If the door didn't open I would barge in myself. Before I could do just that Madam Pomfrey opened the door giving me a sympathetic smile "Here to see Theodore?"
I nodded my head trying to see behind her to no avail. All I could see were a few drawn curtains and another few beds unoccupied.
"Go on in then, he's the third one." I rushed past her muttering a quick thank you. She was probably fed up of having me to see me at her door every other day.
I approached the third bed and pushed the curtains to the side. I didn't know what I expected but it wasn't Theo sat up reading a book with his head wrapped in white gauze. Otherwise he looked completely fine.
"Hey" I left a small kiss on his cheek and sat on the edge of his bed, waiting for him to answer the questions I was too afraid to ask.
He let out a sigh and placed his book near his pillow, shifting further to the left so I had more space on the bed.
"Who told you I was here?"
I furrowed my eyebrows in annoyance and confusion "That's not important. What's important is what are you doing here? Don't tell me you got into another fight"
He gave me a slight smile, his expression showing discomfort.
"Theo. Why? Why are you always fighting?"
"For the record I won the fight, sweetheart."
I scoffed "Well clearly not if you've got that on your head and your opponent isn't even in the hospital wing right now"
He grinned as if he found something funny "He's having a meeting with Snape that's why."
He wasn't getting the point. He just didn't seem to care that what he was doing was wrong and it affected others as well.
"What happened? I want the truth"
His smile dropped, becoming suddenly serious to when I asked for the truth.
"Well, the guy who asked you out the other day and you rejected him. He was talking shit about you so I decided to fuck him up a bit. You know, so he'd know that he didn't have the right to talk about you like that...no one does"
I sighed. The fact that he was fighting because of something said about me was nice of him but I didn't want him hurt because of that.
"Theo he said something about me. Not you. I don't want you hurt every time someone says a single thing against me"
He sat up suddenly, anger evident on his face "And why the fuck not? If he's going to talk about my girlfriend like that do you think I'm just gonna stand there and not do shit all?"
"But Theo your hurt because of it! I don't want that for you"
He slumped back down and didn't bother looking at me "I don't fucking care about being hurt. If I hear a single word against you-"
"Just ignore it!" I was getting annoyed now. Why was he so desperate to be hurt because of something I didn't even care that much about?
"Ignore it? Your fucking crazy if you think I'll ignore something like that"
I stood up ready to do something. Ready to shout at him, to push him off the bed, to do anything but sit there and tell him time and time again that I didn't want him hurt because of something so irrelevant. Tears welled up in my eyes, I tried blinking them away but instead a few fell down making their way down my cheeks.
"Well your good at ignoring one thing! Our fucking date that your missing because of your detention. Is that what you wanted?" I wiped the remaining tears from my face, anger coursing through my veins. Theo finally deigned to look at me after having raised my voice, something I rarely did.
His eyes widened in shock "I didn't realise. Fuck. I'm sorry Y/n, I didn't even realise and- I didn't mean for you to cry. I'm so fucking sorry"
"It's a little late for that isn't it. What does it matter when you've missed the second date this month because of some stupid fighting you can't control"
He leant toward me, reaching for my hand the warmth of his hand seeping into me. "I am so sorry. I am so fucking sorry, sweetheart. What do you want me to do? I swear I won't fight again...unless the person deserves it"
I sat back down, the anger vanishing from me, Theo's comforting hand grounding me.
"Lay down with me. Please." He asked quietly, eyes full of sorrow.
I turned so I could lay down next to him his arm coming around my waist to pull me closer to him. He dropped a kiss to the top of my head "I really am sorry Y/n. I don't want you to be upset over something I've done"
I shook my head "I'm not upset. I just don't want my boyfriend to be in the hospital wing for half the year"
"I'll try harder" He whispered.
"Just try harder on the fighting aspect. Otherwise your perfect"
I smiled at him and the one he gave back made my heart melt. I loved him.
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entitled-fangirl · 5 months
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Of course, my love.
Young!Charles Xavier x reader
Summary: Charles wants to find out something the reader isn't ready to say. Let's just say they both react differently.
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Y/N leaned against the doorframe of Charles' office.
Her hair was awry and her clothes slightly askew. But she didn't care.
She couldn't sleep without him at her side. And she was determined to get him there.
Charles glanced up from his papers and smiled gently at her. His voice was like honey, "Sweetheart, everything alright?"
She nodded and rubbed her eyes gently, "Can't sleep without you, Charles."
He tilted his head in empathy and cooed at the tired woman, "Poor thing. I'll be there soon, my love. I promise you."
She let out a slight pout and sighed when Charles looked back down at his work, "You said that an hour ago. Please."
Please. That did something to him.
His eyes found hers again, and his empathy was gone. His stony face slowly tilted upwards to see her fully. "Please?" He questioned her words.
She blushed slightly and nodded, "Please."
He stood and dropped the pen in his hand on the desk, "Whatever my darling wishes, she receives."
She smiled groggily at him and let him lead her by the hand to the bedroom.
He moved her to sit on the bed as he quickly changed into sleeping clothes. His fingers danced with the buttons of his shirt before he looked at her with a smirk, "Do I dare change, or just leave it all off?"
Her face dropped at his words.
Oh shit. He said the wrong thing.
She shuffled awkwardly, "Um. I… I didn't think you wanted to…. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lead you on, I just..."
He gave a gracious smile and quickly walked to her and sat at her side, "What's in the beautiful mind, my dear?"
She looked away from him in contemplation.
It was worrying him, "Y/N?"
She shook her head and let out a light sniffle. 
He ran a hand through her hair, "You have to tell me."
Y/N looked up at him with tears in her eyes and a voice that was barely heard, "I'm scared to."
"Perhaps," he tried to reason, "you won't have to tell me at all?" He gently brushed two fingers against his temple to insinuate what he wanted.
Let me know you inside and out, He said in her mind.
She nodded and closed her eyes, afraid to see his reaction.
He pressed the fingers against his temple lightly and began to enter her mind.
He didn't get to enter there often, but when he did, he was always in awe.
Just. Like. Now.
He pulled away as if his fingers had burned him. His eyebrows furrowed and his voice was a harsh whisper in surprise, "You… You're pregnant?"
She nodded and she shut her eyes tighter.
He quickly wrapped his arms around her now shaking frame as he let out a laugh. "You're pregnant, my love."
It seemed his words finally clicked in her head what she needed it to, because she wrapped her arms around him as well and cried into his shoulder. 
He was quick with his words as his hand gently ran through her hair, "Shhh. It's alright. It's alright, love. I promise you."
Her hands clung to his shirt tightly as she pulled away. It hurt his heart to see her tear stained face. "You're not mad at me?"
His eyes widened as he wiped the tears from her face, "Mad? Where did you get an idea like that? I'm overjoyed!"
She sniffled and searched his eyes carefully, as if waiting for him to reveal his anger. But it never came.
Finally, her voice came out soft, "Let me read your mind."
He immediately nodded and locked his eyes with hers again. It was an intimate act, letting someone read the mindreader's mind. But he would do anything for her.
His two fingers pressed gently onto her temple, giving her the ability to run through his mind.
Her eyes closed as she focused on his thoughts, but his were wide open. He studied her. How precious she was.
He could feel her in his mind. As if she was a guest in a house with no one home. She gently picked up the small things on the shelf to admire, then set them back down with such gentleness. Not in worries of getting caught doing so, just worries of messing up a perfect home.
She quickly opened her eyes with a surprised expression in her big eyes.
He raised an eyebrow, "Did you find something?" His fingers on his other hand traced her cheek lightly.
Her voice was soft agin, "You truly are happy?"
He nodded, "I am, love. I care for you more than I've ever cared for anything. And I will continue to love you and this child until the last breath leaves my lungs. I'll swear it to you if I must."
One last tear fell from her cheek, "I love you, Charles."
He smiled and placed a gently kiss to her lips, "I love you so, so much."
He kissed her again.
Both of his hands caressed her face gently but firm.
He pulled away and his lips brushed again hers, "More than anyone else on the entire damn planet."
She smiled into the next kiss and softly said, "Then just leave this all off." She tugged on his half-unbuttoned shirt.
He smiled back and kissed her again, "Of course, my love."
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