#but im forgetful and i easily forget to keep interacting and stuff

[prk-gunwook]

your writing is literally ascending me to heaven! IT'S SO GOOD! could you please do a reaction of them to getting them flowers? Not for like any special occasion, just *shrug* casually (?)

And not to forget, I'm in love with your writing, literally so thankful that your blog exists! have a good day/evening/night! take care of yourself, stay hydrated!! <33

BOYS PLANET — reactions to a flower

INCLUDES || sung hanbin | seok matthew | zhang hao | park gunwook

GENRE || tooth-rotting fluff, a surprising amount of mutual pining and meanings behind flowers, school au

WORD COUNT || 3k

NOTES || tysm omg im over the moon to hear that !! <3 i actually LOVE flowers as a love language, so i was extra excited to write this one :3 (not proofread, too lazy rn :3)

ꉂ — 𖥦 ♡ ,, SUNG HANBIN 𖥻 ❛ blue salvias ❜

SUNG HANBIN, contrary to what you may think, didn’t like flowers all that much. Sure, they’re pretty, but they’ll fade and wilt after only a few moments of appreciating them. He much preferred other gifts— that is, until he met you.

You reminded him of a flower; beautiful in a way that is not meant to be touched. Cherubic and angelic, petals of morning dew and silk that blossom and bloom when left to their own devices. As a man, he could never wish to hold you, for that will corrupt your beauty.

You have a timeless face. Hanbin could gaze upon it for eternity and find a new feature to appreciate each year. He could map the coordinates of your smile and the altitude of your eyes; he could graph the volume of your laugh and how it pitches slightly in the middle.

He first realized that, perhaps, flowers can be something beautiful when held by man, too, when you introduced him to pressed flowers.

Your room had countless flowers of all kinds hanging from the ceiling; crimson bouquets of begonia, flushing yellow poppies and dried salvias, all tangled together in twine. Your fingers gently held them as if made of glass, as if even the softest of movements would cause them to disappear in a flurry of sweet scents.

“Why do you keep flowers?” He asked you one afternoon.

“They have so many meanings,” You replied. “Like a blue salvia; it means ‘I’m thinking of you’. Most people get roses because they symbolize romance, but I think picking each specific flower with a meaning in mind is so much more romantic.”

“But they wilt so easily,” He argued.

“And then you can press them, and turn them into something beautiful again.”

“Press them?

“Yeah. Like, in between books and stuff,” You explained lamely, gesturing at the floor. “You can preserve them that way. They look really pretty. Usually, I use them as bookmarks.”

Hanbin thinks about that interaction more than he likes to admit— actually, he thinks about every interaction you have a good deal more than he’d like to admit. He performs autopsies on the words you’ve spoken, dissecting each consonant and vowel for the slight confirmation you might like him in the same way he likes you.

“I got you something,” You’d said that morning, hands hiding behind your back in an endearing way that made him smile. He nodded, urging you to explain further.

You’d presented him a small box (which made hardly any sound when he tried shaking it later to see if he could guess what was inside it). It was wrapped in brown parchment paper, a cute bow of twine sitting atop.

“You can’t open it until you’re home, alright?” You instructed him, a stern look in your eyes that had him agreeing before he even registered what you asked. The entire day it sat in his backpack, feeling heavy despite the fact it couldn’t have weighed more than half a pound, box included.

That led him here; sitting anxiously in front of his desk with the box atop the mahogany wood. He swiveled back and forth in his chair, running through every possibility of what it could be in his mind.

After a few tense moments, he opened it.

Hanbin didn’t recognize the flowers at first.

A few hours later, only when the collection of flowers were already tightly pressed within books just the way you taught him, did he realize where he’d seen them before.

Blue salvias.

He didn’t stop smiling for the rest of the night.

ꉂ — 𖥦 ♡ ,, SEOK MATTHEW 𖥻 ❛ pink bluebell ❜

SEOK MATTHEW doesn’t know much about pop culture, but he knows it’s a definite cliche to fall for someone who works in a flower shop. It’s not his fault, though—really! I mean, anyone would fall for your cute smile and rosy words and soft eyes and…

Matthew groans. Yeah, he’s got it bad.

Well, he knew that already. If the almost daily trips to the flower shop you work part-time at didn’t indicate anything, the fact his face turned bright pink at the mere mention of flowers certainly did.

But, seriously, he can’t help it. You’re so sweet when you offer to help him find what exactly he’s looking for (which he doesn’t even know, because before this Matthew had exactly zero interest in flowers). And when you explain the meanings behind each and every flower, and your eyes light up— Matthew swears he could see the stars behind them. He wonders if the sky ever gets jealous that, no matter how hard it may try, it can never compare to you.

“Oh, Matthew, back again?” You ask, voice ringing like bells. He could listen to it on repeat.

“Yeah! Uh, just here to look around,” He replies, voice sounding strained even to him. You just nod, bright smile never leaving your face.

“You must really like flowers.”

“Something like that.”

He takes his time strolling around, discreetly stealing glances at you each time he moves to the next aisle. His blush must match the color of the roses, by now, he thinks. When he finally picks out a flower, not paying attention to the meanings scribbled hastily beneath the care instructions, he feels a surge of disappointment.

His time getting to see you is almost over (even if a good portion of it was spent staring at you with no actual conversation initiated).

“Who’s the lucky person?” You ask while plugging the number of the flower into your cash register. Matthew stares at you, eyebrows furrowed, before realizing you must think he’s giving all the flowers he buys to someone. Hurriedly, he shakes his head.

“No— no one!” He exclaims, far too quickly to be believable. You laugh.

“You picked out a pink bluebell, Matthew,” You say, smiling even brighter now (he didn’t think it was possible). “It means ‘everlasting love’, you know.”

“Oh. I didn’t, I mean, I wasn’t looking at the meaning,” He mumbles bashfully. You just laugh again, and he cherishes the fact he was the cause of it. “You could, I mean, you can keep it. Not like I have anyone to give it to.”

That’s the closest he’ll ever get to making a move, he thinks dimly. Your smile morphs into something different— something softer, more genuine and human. Something full of human emotion. He thinks he sees that smile in his mirror every time he thinks of you.

“Well, since it’s mine, now,” You say, examining the sweet flower and inhaling the scent briefly. Your eyes flit toward him, making contact before he looks away. “I’ll just have to gift it to someone.”

Matthew feels his heart sink momentarily. Of course— of course!— someone like you already has a partner. How foolish would he be to think someone who shines brighter than the sun itself doesn’t already have a moon? He chides himself mentally over and over again.

“I hope you at least read the care instructions,” You tell him. He glances up, confusion gracing his features for a second, before you hand the flower to him. He hesitates before taking it, looking around as if there were anybody else you could possibly be handing it to.

“For you, Matthew,” You say. He wonders if you know the effect you have on him. He wraps his fingers around the delicate blossom, pink petals bouncing with the movement.

“But—!”

“Don’t think too hard about it.” You tilt your head to the side. “Just a flower for my favorite customer. Surely you can’t refuse that, right?”

“I… I guess not,” He concedes, looking down at the flower like it was a gift from a god. He thinks it must’ve been, considering how heavenly you are.

The moment he leaves the shop, he feels as if he’s walking on air. As if the clouds lowered to allow him to step, as if he was floating above the Earth. The feeling in his chest is squeezing his heart so tight he thinks it might burst— and he would be fine with that, if it were at your hand.

Everlasting love, he thinks to himself.

Everlasting love.

That sounds just right.

ꉂ — 𖥦 ♡ ,, ZHANG HAO 𖥻 ❛ red chrysanthemums ❜

ZHANG HAO is not a sap. Sure, he watches a (frankly) embarrassing amount of romance dramas, and yeah, he weaves intricate scenarios of relationships in his mind before he sleeps, but that doesn’t mean anything! He is not a sap.

He doesn’t crave the feeling of another’s hand in his. He doesn’t fantasize about how your lips would slot against his like the missing piece of a puzzle he’s been trying to complete his entire life. And he sure as hell doesn’t wish you would love him the way he loves you. No, absolutely not. That’d be insane.

His heart isn’t speeding up as Ricky alerts him you’re walking his way. He doesn’t fight the urge to check his reflection in Keita’s glasses. He doesn’t take a deep breath to steel his nerves and calm his beating heart.

He doesn’t relish in the sound of your voice as you call his name, the way your gaze is directed at him and only him. No, no, no! He doesn’t, he swears!

“Hao!” You say, tickling his ears like a sweet melody of wind chimes tinkling against each other gently. “Would you mind checking over the Prom plans with me? I need the student head’s approval to move forward!”

Zhang Hao doesn’t slap Keita’s head for making kissy noises at him, and he doesn’t secretly hope there’s an ulterior motive behind your words. No.

“Yeah, of course,” He says. He hopes he looks as calm as he sounds. (And he hopes you don’t see Ricky and Keita pretending to make-out behind him).

“Awesome! I just need your signature to finalize the theme, time, and decorations!” You tell him, holding out the clipboard with a long string of papers attached. You flip through at the speed of light, talking about the different streamers and confetti, and how the theme ‘Night out in New York’ is one of your favorites because it allows creative freedom. He listens to every word.

“The bouquet samples arrived just a few minutes ago, if you want to go check them! That’s actually why I decided to come find you,” You admit, tucking the clipboard away. He nods, as if there was any doubt he’d ever want to spend more time with you.

Hao stands up, brushing off any dust or dirt that might’ve speckled his uniform, and heads off after you. He neglects waving goodbye to his friends, as he could see Yujin and Ollie approaching, and they were sure to make it egregiously well known just how much he liked you. The two couldn’t seem to keep a secret for their lives.

“The flowers were pretty expensive, but the board told me to go all out for Prom! It’s not every year their star students graduate, after all!” You tell him, bouncing as you led him. Hao tried not to smile too hard.

It was true. MNET High had always been an incredibly prestigious school, but the batch in his year were notably exceptional. Between Sung Hanbin, Seok Matthew, Cha Woongi, Keita, and himself, it was no secret this year's seniors were favorites of the school board. Zhang Hao had even managed to snag himself the role of student head— with you as his vice. Originally, it’d been a bother to have someone else working with him, but he’d grown unabashedly grateful for the opportunity to meet you.

“What do you think of them?” You ask, clasping your hands together and rocking back and forth on your heels. Belatedly, Hao realizes you’d arrived at the student center.

“They’re really pretty,” He says earnestly, taking a step toward the bouquets of pink, red, yellow, and blue. He says your name to catch your attention. “Really, they’re beautiful. Did you design the bouquets yourself?”

“Uh, partially,” You reply, seeming bashful to be receiving compliments. “I chose the red chrysanthemums! They’re my favorite flowers.”

“Really? Why?”

“Well— they— they just look cool,” You say lamely, looking away. “I liked to study the meaning of flowers when I was younger.”

“What do red chrysanthemums mean, then?” Hao asks, curious as he slowly lifts a finger over the ridges of the bright petals.

“Oh—! Uh, I forgot,” You say. You’re lying. Obviously. Even he can tell, but he doesn’t push. He watches as your fingers flex, seeming to be in an internal debate with yourself, before you pluck a flower from the bouquet and hand it to him.

“Here. You can… you can look it up yourself, later.”

Zhang hao signs off on the Prom preparations.

He isn’t fighting the urge to take out his phone right now and look up the meaning right now. It isn’t lingering on his mind all the while during his walk back to his friends. He doesn’t fight a smile when he finally sees the meaning.

He doesn’t.

He doesn’t.

“Love and passion.”

That doesn’t mean anything.

It doesn’t.

Zhang hao has never been good at lying to himself.

ꉂ — 𖥦 ♡ ,, PARK GUNWOOK 𖥻 ❛ pink aster ❜

PARK GUNWOOK thinks he must be dead and gone to heaven. That’s the only explanation for your beauty. He wonders if your love story is one of the beauty and the beast; he is hulking and tall, built of muscle and blood. You are lithe and spry, built of springs and ichor.

“Gunwook,” You say, wiping a splotch of dirt from your forehead. Your gloved hands are covered in the substance, and it stains your clothes and skin. Your jeans have green all over the knees, which are threadbare from years of rolling around in the grass. With a trowel in one hand and a handful of weeds in the other, you look every part messy and sweaty. He loves you more than anything.

“Sorry.” He steps forward, trying desperately to ignore how hot it is and how the humid air clings to him as he tries to help you with your garden. Canopies of hanging flowers and grapes hang over his head, drooping down into his eyes and casting a much-appreciated shade over the two of you.

Peas, tomatoes, potatoes and all sorts of wild flowers litter your backyard, some growing in basins and stone patches, some tended to in batches of odd stems and petals.

He takes a handful of weeds and pulls them from the dirt, tossing them into the small pile you’d created.

“You’re seriously perfect for this,” You tell him, watching as he barely uses any of his strength to pull the roots you’d been struggling with the past hour.

“I’m starting to think you’re only dating me for the gardening benefits,” He says, eyes squinting against the sun as he stumbles into a patch of dirt not covered by the overhanging plants.

You gasp in mock offense. “Of course not!”

He gives you a disbelieving look from the corner of his eye.

“I’m dating you because you’re the only one tall enough to pick my grapes, too!”

“I hate you.”

“Love you too!”

You set a basket down beside his feet, empty save for the purple stains of grape-picking seasons long gone.

“Now get to work, peasant!” You exclaim, giving him a deceivingly bright smile. Gunwook can only shake his head, an affectionate smile crossing his face despite himself. Damn you.

“Yes, chef,” He mutters, a reference to the obscene amount of Gordan Ramsey shows you watch. As you work on gathering up the pile of weeds in your arms to toss away in the compost, he busies himself reaching up to pick the long vines of grapes and throw them down into the basket beside him. (He doesn’t actually. He sets them down gently, because he knows you hate when your grapes are squishy).

After a few minutes of picking grapes, the basket half full, Gunwook feels a tug behind his ear, like someone’s pulling his hair. He rolls his eyes for a moment, thinking you must be teasing him, until the light brush of something unfamiliar nestles against his skin.

“Hold—still!” You struggle, trying to balance something behind his ear. He, of course, spins around and catches the item as it falls. A flower, bright pink and petals stretching long, falls into his open palm.

You frown, picking the delicate blossom up not even seconds after it lands and trying to place it again.

“Hey, stop!” He struggles. He doesn’t want pollen in his hair.

You ignore him, continuing to adjust the flower until it lays snuggly parallel to his ear, the petals invading the peripherals of his vision.

“It’s a pink aster!” You tell him. “They’re Aphrodite’s flower, you know!”

He turns the same shade as the flower behind his ear. “You mean, like, the love goddess?”

“Yeah! They symbolize love and charm!” You explain, stepping back to admire Gunwook— or rather, how the flower sits. He looks away, suddenly shy.

You were always the more bold between the two of you, despite what people think. He tends to hesitate before pulling moves on you, and you tend to grab him by the collar and force him to finish them. That’s why he loves you, really.

“…Thanks,” He says, smiling at you as you pick a grape from the basket and wash it under the hose. He has no idea how sanitary it is, but you seem to not care as you plop the fruit into your mouth.

“‘Course. It looks cute on you, princess,” You say, winking as you steal one more grape.

Gunwook kicks at you, pretending to be upset you’re stealing from his harvest, despite his beating heart and loving gaze.

He thinks the entire universe must have conspired to let him find you, and he thanks his lucky stars they did, for he has never felt so deeply for someone.

He loves you so much he pretends not to notice you stealing yet another grape from his basket.

—

[where-does-the-heart-lie]

aha,,, I had this really in-depth thing I wrote about how much I like your art,,, and the first half, maybe even first 2/3 got deleted,,, I was so excited writing it, I have no idea what it all even contained anymore,,,

So... the first paragraph after this here is rewritten from what I could remember writing the first time. I know it's not as in-depth as it originally was. Hopefully it still gets the depth of what I want to say across... The second paragraph is what DIDN'T get deleted. Aaaa

I only just recently found you and started following you, but I have to say, your art and comics and writing for the ASL brothers is just. So unbelievably good. You're up there in my favorites. Top three. Top two even. The way you write them is like watching a group of close friends interacting in real life, down to the silliness and shenanigans and inside jokes and abrupt changes in topic or mood in a conversation, including superficial changes (one that comes to mind is when Ace goes something like "I'll bet ONE MILLION DOLLARS" or some incredibly large number, really intensely suddenly, in response to Luffy's saying he'd be $20 or something, and then there's a beat, and then Luffy is like "$20 is fine :)" and Ace is just like "Alright :)". That kind of thing is something Ive had happen, something I've seen happen to others... but I've never seen it written/drawn so well.) Everything about their interactions is so incredibly natural, so full of life. Every time I read one of your comics I'm in constantly in awe and taking mental notes. Well. Okay, no, that's a lie. I WISH I were taking mental notes, but I get so caught up reading because it flows SO smoothly that I forget to.

And that's another thing!! How the way you do paneling and story beats in your comics makes reading while also visualizing movement and transitions so seamless. It's like, the visual-narrative equivalent of a hot knife through butter. I've read plenty of comics-- from novice to professional-- that have really clunky paneling and/or pacing. And similarly, I've read as many that let you read everything easily, but it's like, TOO easy, and there's no weight drawing your eyes to the actual art or keeping them there. And I've seen comics that are somewhere between these two, but still don't feel like they have a good flow. (All this as passive observation, I'm not one to actively look to critique something.) Anyway, what I'm saying is, the way you set up your comics-- the art, the paneling, the pacing, the speech bubbles, the shots, EVERYTHING-- makes them just. MM!! An absolute frickin delight to read. And it's combined with some of the best, most natural-feeling writing I've ever had the pleasure of reading. You balance everything so well. In this age of being desensitized to humor online, I must say, the silliness in parts of the Water Is Thicker Than Blood comic make me genuinely grin and even laugh to myself alone in my room. It feels so real, so genuine, so... I'm running out of words. I'm sorry. I just... REALLY love how you make stuff. I want you to know that I'm a big fan, and, even though I'm older than you I'm learning a lot, and your stuff is so well-done. I hope this isn't too strange, aha... if it is, I apologize. I got a little intense

Oh woweewowee!!!!!!

Thank you for enjoying how i depict them! I really enjoy drawing them as realistic as i can. I really want people to understand them how i do in my head, and im glad it comes off perfectly because i love these little gremlins! And it really is surprisingly easy to think up situations of them being little dumbasses together :) just put them in situations, think about the ways any normal person could possibly react to the information thats given, scrap all that, use the outlier, and bam! That’s a bonafide ASL dynamic right there!

Thats really nice of you to say how you like how i panel my comics because thats one of the things im a bit self conscious of, truthfully. My formatting isnt as neat or polished as other comics are, and i really dont care to change that, but its nice to know that there is still charm and interest in my style of comics.

I get what you mean with the being desensitized to humor online nowadays. Idk what about it but its kinda hard to get me to full on laugh at memes like i used to. But i really enjoy putting in gags that i think and I chuckle to myself about for a while after i thought of it. The “that doesnt taste anything like ass” gag got me chuckling for so long to myself while i was at work. Just like,,, the shock and awe that Sabo is in from having witnessed that is so funny to me, i dont think that gag will ever get old in my head.

That’s really cool that me just goofing around can be a learning opportunity to people :0 ive never even considered that could be the case

Not at all! Thanks so much for your thoughts and opinions! This is very heartwarming and im very happy i could produce something thats so meaningful to others :)

Thanks for the ask, too :D

[goodoldwritings]

gaah u have no idea how excited i was 2 find sfl writers out there,,,, it was a pleasant surprise!!! but uhm anyway i was wondering if i could request the four main cultists from date to die for x a masc reader like after the events of the game where its all happy and cheery and stuff... im not sure how it would work for Buck, but i rlly wanna see more of him 😭 if u cant think of anything i would be just as happy if you did before the events of the game instead!! sorry if this is too much but thank u!!!

A lovely ask! I wondered if anyone would ask for the cultists, However I don't have Character edits for them yet.

Warnings:

Spoilers for: Sucker For Love Date To Die For

Summary:

Headcanons for Buck, Kid, Nanni and Billy getting a happily ever after with a masculine reader.

Nanni:

Hot girl summer? Nah 💅Hot girl eternity💅

Even if she is the stereotypical hot blonde girl she isn't stupid, trusting? Yes but not stupid.

Matching nails, it doesn't matter your personality nor your opinion on nail polish you at the very LEAST have your pinkies done to match hers and at the MOST have matching outfits too!

I have this feeling she would volunteer at the library with Muu and gush about the best couples in town. Occationally Rhok'zan joins in to be filled in on all the relationship gossip.

Easily apologizes for her actions in the cult without you asking her to, forgets who she's already apologized to and starts a list in her bedroom.

The only one with family to meet! (None of the other cultists Mentioned family) Nanni constantly elbows you to not mention the cult stuff in front of her parents because they forgot when the world ended and started again.

Also+ double dates with Rhok'zan and Stardust! You are good friends with the pair (How does one give hooves a manicure? Nanni probably looks up a tutorial about caring for goat and Cow hooves to take inspiration from to do it herself)

Rhok'zan loves your relationship with Nanni! You're adorable and she's expecting younglings from you asap! She would love to babysit!

Billy:

Hear me out, Billy is opening a gym, it just feels right. The Gym is based on honor and respect and keeps the utopian folks from "getting soft"

Your "romantic moments" are wrestling eachother to the ground at the gym. She probably kicks your butt no matter how good or bad of shape you are in.

Takes the longest to apologize for any of her actions in the cult, mostly she's just apologizing to Rhok'zan and Stardust.

You two probably keep the town safe by just existing, every Utopia has people who want to mess it up but- look at Billy and think "would I want to fight her and do her loved ones harm?-" No. She will go John wick.

Kid annoys Billy but you don't mind him, it's funny to watch them interact. Sometimes you take Kid with you to the gym just to mess with Billy.

Despite how rough tough and difficult Billy is, helping her braid her hair is a soft activity you two probably do. She is a tad tsundere about it but... she totally could do her hair herself, so she's letting you do it.

Rhok'zan is Concerned, she knows all relationships are different but watching Billy pin you to the floor in a chokehold (lovingly) has her perplexed.

Kid:

I had the most ideas for him first, hear me out- You write and play music together! (Or if you're not musically talented you help the best ya can!)

In Rhok'zan's almost utopian world you two are like a two person boy band working on making his dream come true without Bucks magic brainwashing.

Or you're like his manager, keeping him from doing stupid things in the heat of the moment.

But first there is the guilt, he cannot apologize to most of the people he wronged because they don't remember. He remembers and it causes him doubt about his career on bad days.

Similarly to wondering if his fans have the free will to love him, he wonders if you too are somehow brainwashed by this world. Prepare for clingy mornings and "are you sure you're not under a spell-"

"Yes, I'm sure you dummy."

Given its a masculine reader- sharing clothes and accessories, he loves to match! At the very least match bracelets at all times.

Rhok'zan thinks your relationship is adorable! You're good for eachother (and definitely wants to use her powers to get you some kids but that's intense!)

Buck:

"I can fix him I swear." I'm kidding! If I can love Nyanlathotep, you can love Buck.

It took a while for stardust to convince Buck to come see the Utopia world. That is when you met.

The first thing is his appearance, he is... messed up, but I just imagine after the equivalent of eons gazing at the stars he has this cool starry look to him. Give the man smoochy kisses to make him feel better, just smother him in affection-

Emotional support, Therapy human.

You are quickly trusted to supervise him and be his tour guide around. Buck has no access to magic nor is he really mad anymore.

You get him some nice clothes and he stays with you at your home, he is a homebody these days with his appearance and what he's done.

Eventually you set up a meeting with the others (Nanni, Kid, Billy and Stardust) for apologies but getting Him and Rhok'zan in the same room is far harder- given he tortured her and they are Exes.

Rhok'zan is worried about you with your relationship but definitely thinks you are good for Buck. Keeps an eye on you jussst in case she thinks he mistreats you.

[cephalotyrant]

Hiiiiiiiiii so. Azurido bodyswap.

Think about it; these two housewardens who constantly seem to be bickering, and then one day during a joint alchemy class they accidentally swap bodies...

Azul trying to run heartslabyul and hastily memorizing all the queens' rules; speaking of i had a sudden thought do you think azul would learn the rules for riddle after they start dating so he can easily come over to heartslabyul and follow all the rules teehee anyways back on topic Azul is mentioned to have less magic capacity so im imagining him being like "okay yeah this kid's currently on a murderous rampage buuuut do I REALLY need off with your head rn why can't i just assert my dominance with words or some shit works with floyd" (i'l never forget that time azul made floyd kneel as punishment... sad moment)

And then Riddle... bless his heart he's too much of a reasonable honest person for octavinelle's bs he's like "stop scamming students" and they're like "um ACKSHUALLY you see the free market and blah blah blah-" Riddle can't behead them anymore because azul doesn't have that power (loser) so he's just like -_- waiting for them to stop talking please oh please what he wouldn't do for them to shut the fuck up-

also weird thought riddle out of instinct trying to cast owyh and then accidentally activating the true form of it's a deal and just... knocking a bunch of guys out cold. and his glasses. he hates them bc they keep getting foggy.

speaking of glasses azul keeps trying to push them up except they dont exist fuckin L hah hah everybody point and laugh

and riddle's high heels... azul falls over (point and laugh part 2)

anyways getting a bit more serious I do feel like azul and riddle do have more similarities in leadership style (like how azul's canonically very irritable with octavinelle students and ortho mentions it's actually quite rare to see him in a good mood just like riddle) so... poor heartslabyul guys aren't catching a break just yet. Except instead of being collared it's just like "shut the fuck up travis this is why you're poor" "3.8 gpa santocruz??? I think you mean 1.8 because those tabloids could only be written by a FUCKING IDIOT" (i'm joking PLEASE DONT KILL ME I MERELY JEST besides we all know azul probably tries to seem uber classy so he wouldn't swear)

meanwhile octavinelle students have never seen such rage... even more scarily... HONESTY AND STRAIGHTFORWARDNESS (an octavinelle student's worst nightmare)

Anyways Riddle and tweel interactions here are just so funny if this is before floyd realizes the truth because it's like

"Lemme squeeze you, goldfishie!"

"Riddle" has NO REACTION. ICE COLD.

And then "Azul" waltzes in and is like "Floyd why how could you do this that is highly improper!!!!!!!"

Ofc "Riddle's" like "so i owe you now" bc azul wants riddle in his debt lmaooo

Azul keeps trying to find riddle's weakness... but it goes wrong...

Short scene:

Azul gazed into the mirror of Heartslabyul's bathroom, looking at every new detail at this new face of his. Riddle's face. He was looking for weaknesses. Yes, weaknesses, as dastardly as it seemed.

Like - how those soft, sun-kissed cheeks were likely sensitive to light, and how those gorgeous little heart-shaped tufts of hair often added to Riddle's poutiness, and-

Wait, why was Riddle's face growing redder in the mirror all of a sudden?

Womp womp azul you're gay for him

Anyways they turn back and it all gets found out blah blah... Azul saying the most down-bad shit when he thinks no one can hear like "riddle-san looks even prettier from up close" jade and floyd overhear his little mumble he never leaves it down...

and riddle... is hyperfixating over azul's moles. he knew about the one on his chin but there's MORE??? On The neck? The COLLARBONE??? He never undressed (neither did azul bc they were swapped for a pretty short time so it was pretty easy not to as just... yk a respect/consent thing) but while adjusting his tie and stuff he noticed. He is now freaking out over it to Trey. Why does he care??? When can he sign up to kiss them??? More on seven.

OOOOOOAAAAAGHHHHHH BARK BARK BARK BARK GRRR MOEWWW HISSS CRASH BOOM MY LEG!!!

Memorizing the rules would be a DAUNTING ass task bro. But Azul is up to it and I bet he memorized them just for fun at one point so he could find all the loopholes (and rub them in riddles face) funnily enough, Heartslabyul is confuse because it seems like Riddle has gotten... sharper? Some clock him immediately as wrong (ADTC)-- Riddle often stands stiffly and probably has a resting bitch face, let's be real. but now the way he stands is almost looser, more fluid, his body more expressive, flexing his hands. In his attempt to follow the rules, Azul IMMEDIATELY calls out someone using a loophole. But for today, he'll let it slide-- but I better not catch you doing that again, else there will be consequences. (He means Jade and Floyd it was on instinct) Even the way he SPEAKS is different, and why is he talking about himself so much? Don't get started on the moment Azul is mentioned-- why is he suddenly avoiding speaking any bad about Azul Ashengrotto? They were at each other's throats just this morning!

He feels weirdly frail. Not only does he lack his octo-stength, he has to look up at absoloutely everyone! And these heels are ridiculous! Of course, he's heard all about Riddle boasting that the dorm uniform being a replica of the first housewarden of Heartslabyul, but he could have omitted SOME details. The way everyone straightens their back when they hear the clacking of his heels, though... that's quite nice. It's hard not to powertrip.

I'm not going to get into it I'm not going to get into it I'm not-- FUCK. He can't help but be envious of the complete lack of fat on Riddle's body, the way his uniform cinched his waist just right. Perhaps there were some benefits of being so small... And there's a constant dull ache in his dominant hand. Seriously, for someone raised for a future in medicine, he doesn't appear to be taking care of himself very well! Maybe he'll snoop about the room for a diary, finding a drawer full of letters from a very particular woman-- and leave the investigation there. Funnily enough, it fills him with the urge to write his own letter to his own mother... he hasn't spoken to her in a while.

At least the bed is fantastic? Let's just hope Trey doesn't walk in while he's giggling and wrapping himself up burrito-style into the blankets.

Azul (Riddle) back at Octavinelle seems like he's one moment away from a STROKE. So much so that every few moments red rings swirl in his eyes-- his last straw being the fourth pencil he breaks in a row. Since when has Azul been this strong!? Does his dishonest nature extend to taking steroids?? He's going to have a VERY long talk with him later! His glasses keep getting smudged and sliding down his nose, and Azul's layered clothing was so ridiculously heavy-- being of average height is kind of nice, though.

Jade and Floyd clock him as NOT AZUL right away I fear... though it is a little funny to watch Azul's body throw a tantrum and stomp his feet. They freak out, however, when Riddle realizes he has the strength to preperly defend himself... not good. If he can't behead them, he can go physical. Really, he's not fit at all to run Mostro or do deals atp... but Jade and Floyd think it'd be funny if he fucked some up. He's rather impressed by how such a busy establishment runs so smoothly, and the employees, namely, the waiters, are rather polite. They stand straight and speak clearly... Azul’s done quite well.

THE MOLES ARGH...

—

Finally. A respite from the endless things that needed his attention– as the housewarden of Heartslabyul, he was used to tending issues left and right, but this experience, being trapped in Azul’s body, had stretched his patience thin. Azul, truly, had his fingers in far too many pies.

Discarding anything the Octavinelle housewarden wore on the regular would have been improper, though it certainly didn’t prevent him from complaining about it. The layers of the dorm uniform were oppressive, to put it lightly– even his cape, for how it dragged across the ground, wasn’t nearly as heavy. The cummerbund was too tight to be considered remotely comfortable. He abandons it on the chair in front of the vanity.

He tugs on silky purple fabric to undo the bowtie, the thing having gone crooked, most likely from when he undid the suspenders or pulled off the jacket. It’s always satisfying to allow one’s neck to breathe at the end of the day–

Eh?

Right there, not too far from under the collar, is a culmination of small dark spots. Three, in fact. And just when he peels back the collar to get a better look at them, there’s another one, right there, on his collarbone!

Experimentally, he runs a finger over them. They’re just spots of pigment… so why do they make his breath hitch and his face warm so?

The door beside the vanity swings open without warning, causing him to jump and squeeze the collar shut in alarm, crumpling the, no doubt, expensive fabric. He curses, seeing one of two tall eel mermen at the door.

“Are you accustomed to coming in unannounced?”

Jade smiles, half concealing it with a hand. “Oh my. Look at you, you already sound so much like our dearly departed Azul.”

“D– dearly departed!? He’s in my body, not deceased!”

[appatary8523]

Dumb probably negative no context rambles under the cut

Last chance, don't ruin your mood and go back

OK you wanted it this way

1.- I like STW but I usually have to get up to do things while playing (yea sometimes in FN:BR I hide in bushes to go and do some other stuff. I've barely made any progress, the game is quite complicated to me because I don't play it often and I forget what was going on? And I don't know how to use most of the mechanics of the game(? Still, the humor is funny, the gameplay might feel repetitive from time to time but I like it, I really really like it.

I also would like to have more IRL friends who play STW (or FN in general), I bet that game mode is way funnier and rewarding in squad. But nobody plays it, and I think I have no friends who play FN? Just my older brother and he has his own duo so I'm not getting in between them (?) (and he doesn't like STW so he doesn't even have access to it). There's a dude at my workplace who plays FN but no thanks, I don't like him, he's stupid (he's the it guy who can't fix a damn thing. I hate that guy he's so stupid)

As always, I'm playing solo in this squad mode game called life (?

2.- I know I often say I'm doing it for me but, damn, I wish someone could like it the way I like it too. I'll see if it's worth the effort or if I should just finish the damn thing and save if for myself. I'm not hurt or anything alike, I was 1000% aware this was going to happen, and it's helping me improve. I think I just don't want to deal with that anymore. Sorry, I lose motivation quite often and easily

3.- I try to keep everything happy and positive in my FN blog but... I don't really like Hope. I mean she's cool and all that but I just don't like her e-girl thing going on. The only thing I like about her is the cat on her banner icon whatever the name of that thing is. Neither sunsp0t, actually y don't like a lot of things but I'll just save my awful FN opinions. I should've saved my headcanons too

4.- Surprise surprise (actually is no surprise) I'm losing followers. And I get it, I get you guys, I used to post funny things, funny drawings (or drawings in general) but now I just complain about everything. Sorry, I'm not in a good mood anymore.

I don't think people should keep following/stay suscribed to a channel, account, blog thing they dont like no more. I've seen artists (on Twitter of course) complaining about how people should not follow an account for X specific thing but I don't think that's how things work. Just like the things you like change, the things other like change too. They should NOT feel forced to like the things you like and see the things you want to share. But I guess you have to grow up to realize that. I personally don't feel offended when people stop following me, right now I'm offering nothing but negative text post, and that's OK. Curate the things you consume, make it a more pleasant experience, don't feel forced to follow someone you no longer like.

I personally follow people for a specific thing, and sometimes, like everyone, they change the things they make, but if I like their stuff I usually stick around because it's interesting! I just stop following if they change for worse (the same way I changed for worse). Still, not everyone thinks the same way I do.

5.- I still thinking I should just make another sideblog to dump all this dumb kind of posts but honestly I don't want to deal with it. Making an FN exclusive sideblog was already way too much, but I didn't want to mix all in here

6.- I guess that's what you get for interacting with people half your age.

7.- Shouldn't have joined, should've stayed away

8.- I wish we could talk, someday. I'd like to know you better. I know I don't exist for you but you mean so much for me (yea now I understand my taste for one-sided fictional relationships lol). I know, im stupid, I'm delusional, I'm, as always, daydreaming about things that will never ever happen and I will never have. I can't understand love, I can't wrap my head around the idea of being romantically involved with someone but that's OK, that kind of things are not meant for me

9.- I wish I could control whatevers going on in my mind. I wish it could slow the pace of my thoughts, I need some rest from the world but most important, I need a break from myself but I guess there's nothing I can do about it

10.- Also, Beatles song

11.- I fell asleep after posting this and I OBVIOUSLY had to edit it to add this because i DREAMED someone gave me some support words and it felt so nice and comforting jdjsjs I'm alone

12.- Morningssey song. Yes I like him too so sue me (?

[charmixpower]

Ok honestly any rivusa shipper will enjoy the comics and their stories like as a child (I collected the comics from the debut issue and in the country I live every month they would realise a new issue so I’d buy the winx comics every month) I watched the show but the comics made me genuinely love the characters and their relationship ESPECIALLY rivusa and it’s honestly thanks to the comics they solidified their spot as my otp. I mean rivusa have a whole wiki section on the winx fandom wiki dedicated solely to their comic storyline and honestly it’s so iconic. They just have great moments (like I rmb there was one issue where Musa was panicking to look presentable while she was gonna go meet riven in magix city and once she got off the bus to meet him as he’s waiting at the bus stop there’s a whole frame of them holding each other and staring into each other’s eyes and he calls her beautiful😍😍😍 and in that issue when the girls ask about him there’s a whole frame of her heart eyes with hearts in the bg as she raves to the girls “riven is very sweet and kind when you get on his good side” like PLEASE YOUR HONOUR I LOVE THEM SO MUCH and I distinctly rmb from my childhood this issue where the winx and specialists get stranded on an island back In time and Musa and Brandon are knocked out cold and even tho there’s no dialogue riven is just carrying musa to safety bridal style🥺🥺 (I think this ig acc @/rivusa._ did this thing where they screenshotted the moment he carries her in the animated cartoon and in fate and the in the comics and put all 3 side by side and idk there’s smth so fulfilling and heartwarming knowing riven will always carry musa to safety when she needs it in every version of them😭) so yes if you ever have time please go read the comics it really made me love the winx franchise as a whole even more

I've been slowly reading the comics and I'm obsessed with their s1 interactions, tho I mostly open them to see if I can make thematic edits XD

It really shows how Riven is more interested in school stuff over dating, while Musa is easily swept up by crushes

It's really cute. Riven hears something maybe dangerous and he gives it his full focus and Musa is trying to flirt with him because she doesn't think it's dangerous

They have completely different priorities, which I think is a adorable way to keep them apart lol

Omg!! That must of been so much fun!!!

The comics actually involve the assassin's that Sky's family has been so scared of in the story and I'm really excited to see how it includes other details the show glossed over

The more you talk up the comics the more I want to read them 👀

I think all of the couples have a couple part of their wiki but don't quote me on that, it's the middle of the night and I don't feel like checking

OMGGG NO NO NO NO THATS SO CUTE!!!

Musa definitely worries about her outfits, for no reason tho bc Riven is like 😍 abt her always. I imagine the most ideal response she wants to get is looking so good he forgets words exist for a while

Nfkskskejsjskskwjjw Musa and Riven are the epitome of two mentally ill people dating that are just similar enough that they understand each other without being too similar but so different that their friends are like "what???" Riven definitely stuggles to let people in, but he clearly wants to help people by going to RF and it's just 🥰🥰🥰 he doesn't trust people but he wants to protect them and I love him

OHHHHHH JESTER TOLD ME ABOUT THAT COMIC IT WAS APPARENTLY V GOOD AND IM EVEN MORE EXCITED TO READ IT NOW TNX U

Riven's love language is acts of service and physical affection, change my mind. He would never leave Musa in danger come hell or high water and I love him!!! He's doing his best and it's amazing!!! Musa from her actions in s1 isn't used to having people she can rely on so seeing that Riven will always try to help her gives her the warm fuzzies

I've always had this hc that before Musa and her dad start understanding each other, and her dad is still deathly terrified of Musa going the way of her mother if she joins the industry, Riven offers to help her get an apartment. Like no questions asked. You dad sucks? Let's help you move out. He didn't have a clear picture, Musa's dad is over protective the exact opposite of Riven's and he was projecting just a bit, but Musa was all like 🥰🥹 when he offered

I love them your honor that is all

[rollercoasterwords]

god it is so refreshing to see someone else bothered by the absolute nonsense that is marauders tiktok. im starting to think that people genuinely forget differing opinions exist and are ALLOWED. it’s so easy to see something you dislike and just. not? interact with it?

as for the whole death eater popularity thing, to me it’s like. who cares? if u don’t like it, don’t read it? ive seen ppl bring up the whole allegorical nazi thing as an argument which is SO uncomfortable and weird. jkr is an antisemitic piece of literal dog shit, WHY are we referencing her bigoted views? the whole point of fanon or fanfiction is to pull away from her beliefs and make it our own. even if it is canon ff, why would we continue that allegory? it’s fiction. they’re wizards. they can be the “bad guys” w/o being compared to a very REAL and very TRAUMATIC event, even and especially if that was what they were intended to be in the first place. this is supposed to be a place where people can participate and have fun without being reminded of reality.

just glad that this small corner of the internet exists where ppl like to use their brains!! nobody can dictate what other people do or don’t enjoy. nobody can dictate what others do or don’t do (in ff..obviously). if u (universal u) want to read or write regulus or snape or evan or barty or voldemort or umbridge or whoever, then go ahead. literally nobody can stop u.

yeah lol i mean i do enjoy a nice edit from time to time but most of the discourse i see just leaves me like. hm. i also have a bit of a grudge against tiktok simply bc people keep posting my writing over there without crediting me so!! not very happy that it's like...an environment where many people seem more concerned with getting views for themselves than actually like. supporting the people making the fics + art that they're enjoying.

as for the stuff with jkr. i've talked about my view on that in this post but essentially--i do think it's important to understand how her biases impacted the source material rather than just like. acting as if we can ignore her completely. because the work does not exist in a vaccuum, and trying to act as though it does risks unintentionally perpetuating the biases baked into the text.

that being said, i've seen some jewish people say that emphasizing that allegorical connection minimizes the very real history of nazis, and i've seen other jewish people say that it's upsetting to see people simply brush that allegorical connection aside. personally i do think it's important to be aware of that allegorical connection if you're going to be writing within the context of the canon universe, because you either need to make sure you're dealing with that portrayal sensitively in your story or alter it so that you're no longer drawing on that particular allegory in the same way that jkr was. outside of a canon universe, though, where death eaters don't exist...i mean i tend to agree with you that someone could easily make them bad guys in an au without continuing that allegory at all. and honestly as i've already talked about it seems like most people who are writing about evan and barty aren't even making them bad guys and are essentially just stripping away any canon characteristics and starting fresh with nothing but a name, in which case. well i think everyone should be allowed to do whatever they want with their paper dolls y'know.

and of course it is all, at the end of the day, fanfiction, and nobody has to read it who doesn't want to--which is why you will never catch me reading rosekiller fanfiction <3 personally i remain an evan and barty hater but that is simply because i think they're boring more than anything else lmao

[obscurecharactershowdown]

Group E Round 1

[image ID: the first image is of Grace Summers/Poppy, a woman with red hair, and skeletal, gray, bandaged wings. her chest, lower body, and parts of her legs and feet are also bound in bandages. she's laying on her stomach on a red couch. outside the window next to her, are lights in darkness and a pigeon. above her is the title of the game, "Blood for Poppies." the second image is of Tangie, a tangerine colored cartoon bear, throwing his arms in the air, and frowning. end ID]

Poppy

Her career? Down the drain. Her work? Stolen. Her consciousness? Trapped inside a machine. Her body? Bastardized into a crude imitation of wings and grafted to a clone but I’m getting ahead of myself! In her life, Grace Summers (called Poppy by her mother) was a budding scientist, unrecognized and underestimated due to her gender. She met a scientist named Alan Coffey, who was perceived as promising, but in reality had very little skill to back up his ambitions. Alan developed an obsession with Poppy. He wanted to control her. He killed her, put what remained of her consciousness inside a machine, a machine she designed with ambitions of cloning organs for organ transplants. Alan, now calling himself Doctor, cloned her body, creating the character you play as, in an effort to “keep” Poppy, like he wasn’t able to before. What remained of her body was repurposed into wings that would be sewn onto the clone. Doctor went on to preform experiments, he got what he wanted. For some time anyway. This could easily be missed, but in one route, Poppy escapes the machine by hijacking the clone of the clone (don’t ask questions this game is incredibly dense) and goes on to trap Doctor in the machine. She has a human body again after all these years! All fixed, right? No not at all. After literally dying and then being barely alive in that dreadful thing for so long, Poppy has no idea how to be human again. Yep All That Stuff messed her up. The memories she was able to ignore before are coming back, and she just wants to forget it all. Human emotions are painful, human bodies are painful. She finds herself wanting to return to the purity of machinery. To transcend humanity… and she might be able to do just that… AND THIS IS ALL IN ONE TINY MISSABLE ROUTE AND IF YOU DONT PLAY IT SHE DOESNT REALLY DO MUCH AND JUST STAYS IN THE MACHINE WSJYFHOYGHIY AM I THE ONLY ONE WHOS EVER PLAYED THIS AND LOVED IT IM GOING INSANE

Tangie

He's a bear who's smile is upside down! He just wants to belong somewhere. He gets a found family in the end! :( <- an upside down smile for you!

[goosessideblog]

FORGOT ANOTHER ADDITION TO THE ASK THINGY

you gave me Ridder I offer Muschio

If you forgot

I DID FORGET COMPLETELY IM SORRY ROBYN I TOLD MYSELF I WOULD ANSWER THE ASK(S) AND I FORGOT.

um. well :3 yeah PEBBLE TIME.

favourite thing: big fan of how the reveal about him being leonid was done!! it was very nicely paced and written props to weaver. of course it goes without saying i love everything about him but this is my favourite off the top of my head

least favourite thing: this is more nitpicky than anything but i’m sort of sad that he (or the demon, rather) broke character, per se, when talking to wes? i’ve always been a huge fan of overly formal/polite villains so i would’ve loved to see their conversation keep that politeness especially when they start physically fighting. not to say the moment when the facade fell wasn’t cool as fuck though, easily one of my favourite parts of the scene.

favourite line: chapter 26, panel 43:

Yes. Of course yes right good everything's fine hello. Hello good afternoon. I'm fine. It's all fine. A psychotic murderer is about and stalking around our home and an army of magical sprites may descend on us at any moment to turn us to electric ash and I can't stop thinking about the smell of death but everything is fine it's fine chin up Pendle old fellow look on the bright side no need to fear.

brOTP: honestly? huge fan of him and ridder. yes they’ve never interacted but this isn’t going to stop me. they both take comfort in the whole song-and-dance of social customs and manners, i think it would be very fun to see them talk, especially with ridder being a fan of the strategic side of things. they’d bounce off eachother very nicely i’d reckon

OTP: you know me robyn. its wespendleona. pendle has (at least) two hands and with what he’s been through he deserves both of them held. them :]

nOTP: since divequest doesn’t really have a fandom i guess i don’t really have any? i am yet to see a dq ship i can’t get behind, especially a fanon one.

random headcanon: his third set of arms is actually vestigial! he isn’t quite a spider but he isn’t much of a regular bugfolk either, he’s more somewhere inbetween.

unpopular opinion: again. dq is a fandom of 6 people. i don’t think it’s possible to have an unpopular opinion as of right now

song: i WISH i had one, alas i don’t think of divequest characters from the perspective of songs much. perhaps i’ll come back to the one day, maybe

picture:

moving onto the man the myth the legend. muschio!!

favourite thing: how clever he is at times. it’s especially clear in the recent few updates, which have been SO fun to read. sure some of his plans are stupid and sure he doesn’t harbour the most emotional intelligence but god can he be slick when the time comes. i love him

least favourite thing: i’ve never been much of a fan of his uh. glaring attraction. to many of the women in the series. i do think it’s a pretty iconic trait and it does fit his character but i’ve just never had much fun reading it, unfortunately.

favourite line: i don’t know if this counts, but like half the things the voices say? the suggesters are funny what can i say. as for actual lines in-comic he says so much stuff i don’t have the energy to sort through and pick my favourite right now. he says a lot of fun things

brOTP: him and dompag!!! i am a firm believer in the headcanon dompag has managed to befriend everyone in the vault and acts as a shoulder to lean on, which i reckon muschio could really use. muschio has many problems and dompag has been shown to be a very good problem solver, as well as making up for the emotional intelligence muschio lacks. i think they work great together

OTP: again. i’m a very obvious person. muschio/ridder has planted itself in my brain since the hot spring scene and it has not left since. what am i gonna do? say no to childhood friends to strangers to enemies to friends to lovers? scoff. i’m better than that

nOTP: same as for pendle, i don’t really have one? he has a personality that pairs well with most characters and i don’t really have much reasoning to dislike any ships with him.

random headcanon: ok buckle up it’s volto biology time. as an amphibian he doesn’t exactly fare well during the colder seasons and tends to be far more sluggish and far less focused, as well as practically clinging to any heat source he comes across. if he had the choice he would sleep through winter completely but since he can’t so much as catch a nap he doesn’t really get that luxury.

unpopular opinion: divequest six-person fandom strikes again

song: THE MAIN CHARACTER BY WILL WOOD!! this man and his protagonist complex. i’m going to tear him in half

picture:

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

hey um this is a real fucking vent of a post maybe dont read if ur triggered easily by family/abuse stuff. I just had to get it out im sry. its not too coherent

I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him. my dad. one second we're having a normal conversation about art. then he's screaming at me to shut the fuck up, swearing at me, telling me how behind everyone else my age I am, telling me that I DON'T deserve respect or to be treated like a human, mock-bowing to me while laughing at me and saying that I think I'm sooooo important "like some kind of fucking princess" bc I said I don't deserve to be treated like I'm not human. yelling at me over and over to "shut my fucking mouth", saying that this is why I have no friends, why I lose every friendship I care about, and that he can throw me out right now if I keep "pushing it" and he won't care and there's nothing I can do about it. that I don't have real friends and can't name them. that I'm only acting how I am because I'm "on my period and a bit wacky".

....what sparked this? I said I wash underwear in hot water after I buy it, and that it didn't matter if that was "logical" or not bc I only buy new undies once every year or two. that's what sparked this whole thing. that and me saying "How dare you.I don't deserve to be treated this way." when he blew up. ...literally just yesterday he was saying how he's so proud of me and loves me. not even 24 hours ago he was saying that he could see how hard I'm working and that he understands if I need a break because I'm doing so well. ten MINUTES AGO we were talking about art, looking at the bedsheet I'd ordered and he was complimenting my choices and saying he'd put me in charge of buying new sheets for the household soon. TEN MINUTES AGO. what HAPPENED.

...and I know he'll just go back to loving & respecting me after (insert length of time here) when he feels like it, and until then I'll be excluded from all family interactions, treated like a literal threat and monster at all times, called "my abuser" instead of "my daughter", and forced to hide. ...and then I'll be his Amazing Smart Hardworking Daughter again, unless I bring ANY of this up in which case it will go from Bad to Worst and I am now "THE abuser". this is how it goes. this is how it's gone for a decade. why do I always forget this part when things are good. Even if I write it down or record it (THAT WAS A BAD IDEA HE GOT SO PISSED) it feels...fake??? like it just doesn't exist. I am fully aware that this is gaslighting.

I am fully aware that he does this and simultaneously presents himself to the community as an example of RECOVERY from abuse and has CONSIDERED BECOMING A THERAPIST. I don't have shit on him bc I have nowhere else to go, and I'm not in physical danger. staying here until I can get into college and/or get a job IS my best bet, bc while this is traumatic and unpredictable he's fully all bark, no bite. the majority-ish of the time, things are good. He does house and support me despite having just lost his job (though I'm paying for a lot of the groceries- no job here either), and he's actually been really amazing & supportive this year in general... except when he does This.

and GOD does This suck

one day I'll figure out how to stealth-record on my phone... idk why. when things are Bad Like This i want some record to release to our community once I get independent, and blow this lie out of the water. Ik it's ungrateful but like... what the fuck dude

I'm really thankful for what he's doing for me

but what the fuck dude

why

it's going to mean NOTHING in a few hours/days. he's obviously letting out some internal thing that he has no idea how to channel appropriately and nobody else he can aim it at who wont fight back (except my little brother, who has never done anything wrong ever in his life and is ALWAYS dad's "son") (and the dog, who he sometimes threatens to scare until she pees if she's barking like a lunatic at the pizza guy or someone, but he's mostly-joking/ never actually does it because she's "the best dog in the world") (...I'm treated less human then the dog)

but its just so mean

(also obviously if i even raise my voice/tone a TINY BIT at him, or say a word in a way that he percieves as mildy passive-aggresive, that's a trigger for things to go from Good to Bad unless I immediately literally grovel.

...if you want to uhhhh please send funny videos, art DIYS, animals, mythology, the worst most cursed music and/or mashups you know. I could rly use it rn. just rec me something. anything. (not fanfic tho- I'm currently writing my college application essay on fandom's role in modern folklore, so for once I Do Not Want To Hear/Read Any More About It)

[oc-menagerie-archived]

ooc: Rules/Info (Pinned!)

Sorry if it seems a bit long, it's mostly info.

I am a mother of a one year old and therefore don’t have a ton of time to spend roleplaying on here so I may be slow. But I swear I’ll get to my replies eventually.

I don’t really like roleplaying in IMs, I’m easily forgetful and am highly likely to forget we’re even roleplaying there.

Things I won’t roleplay: Horror, gore, things of that nature, weight gain fetishes.

I don’t mind doing a little nsfw but prefer to fade to black rather than full on write smut. But I’m alright answering some nsfw asks.

If you don’t feel like doing a thread anymore, feel free to drop it. I’m also always fine starting new threads!

If you want to, search my tags for “starter call” and feel free to like any no matter how old if that muse interests you. I don’t mind at all. ^_^ Also feel free to send me any memes I’ve reblogged no matter how old.

I’m not a mutuals only blog. Even if I don’t follow you back, I’m still up for interacting with you! I like to keep my dash clean though so if you post a bunch of ooc stuff, I won’t follow back but only for that reason.

My icons don’t belong to me. I got them from people who post them up and only wish for a like as credit. If you are wondering where I got them feel free to message me and I’ll link you the page. :D

I am semi-selective and OC-friendly (since this is an OC blog. lol). I’m also ok if people want to ship my OCs with Canon characters or other OCs. I don’t mind discussing pre-established relationships either.

I’m really bad at working with one liner threads. It is difficult for me to write against as I’m too used to the multi-para style on Gaia Online though on here try to stick with one paragraph maybe more. I apologize as I might decline roleplaying with you or drop a thread if it is only one liners.

If a reply I make isn’t something you can work with or something is wrong with it, please tell me! I don’t mind at all and won’t get mad. Sometimes I might make a not so great post because I’m tired or not thinking straight so I don’t mind editing it. Better that then just have it ignored and not continued on.

Also if I break a rule of yours somehow also please tell me. I follow a lot of people and read all their rules page but might forget something sometimes.

Do not try to force me to reply or harass me. I will get annoyed and possibly unfollow you and if it becomes a really bad problem, will block. Especially don’t force smut upon me. I also reserve the right to refuse to roleplay with anyone.

Please no god-modding/power playing (meaning controlling my characters completely, auto hitting them, killing them without my ok). Nobody really likes it. Unless I give you the okay like it’s a crack rp or it’s something small like moving my character along to move things quicker.

I’m multi-ship so each relationship exists in its own universe. There is no cheating unless we decide to make it so.

[albenyx]

for the anonymous thing hulaan mo kung sino ako <3

okay so i think you're cool and mabait, when i first found your blog i wasn't expecting na i'll have the courage to ask you if we could be mutuals kasi usually im too shy?? to ask people but ig the fact na close in age tayo and had some common interests is what made me ask you to be my moot

kahit nung naging moots tayo i think sa start i didnt interact that much with you as much as i wanted mostly because i couldn't find a topic to talk about, mahirap magisip ng topic sa tumblr asks </3

pero when we started getting close (i like to assume that we're close pero idk if the same goes for you too??) you were really fun to talk to, i often dont speak tagalog in my blog because usually no one understands what im saying which is both good and bad to me

you like seeing your moots be friends with each other, when you told me to be mutuals with the others i wasn't expecting it so nagulat lang ako i guess??

hindi kita nasulatan yung amazing things abt you katulad nila ein and ate sam and ate pam kasi i keep forgetting </3 so i'll try to list them down here na lang

you're energetic and welcoming

you're always open

you try your best to make everyone get along

you're effortlessly entertaining and funny

kazuha theme mo dati is <333 pero the albedo theme is nice din hehdhe

kind and sweet ka

you get along easily with other people

you want everyone na kilala mo to get along with each other

cool ka

and i think you need more love and. mutuals kasi u deserve it <33

yun lang masasabi ko sayo, for pam, ate sam, and ein i hope na hindi nila sabihin sayo kung sino ako as i prefer to keep things anonymous eheheheh

but thats all na masasabi ko, im very thankful to be friends with you and glad, hindi ko ineexpect na magkakaroon din ako ng more mutuals(?) friends(?) to talk with and ikaw lang yung kaya ko maisip na ithank kasi technically if hindi mo sinabi sakin to be mutuals with biuu and su i dont think makikilala ko yung iba nasa server

ily nyx take care of yourself, sabihin mo lang sakin kung binubully ka pa ng iba

- anonymous opinion anon

HOY ANON GAGO. WHAT IF UMIYAK AKO. NA TOUCH AKO DUN YAWA NAKAKAIYAK KA ANON GRABI. 😰

thank you for seeing me as a good person and friend kahit ang sungit ko tapos reklamador + mura at overshare palagi:(

it really reassures me na someone actually looks at me this way kasi masyado akong overthinker and stuff when it comes to friendships, i was actually v worried i wasn't likable enough na baka mainis kayo palagi sa akin / maybe even get tired. 😭😭😭

i think kilala kita :astig: IM GLAD NA I GOT TO HELP YOU FIND MORE MOOTS AND OTHER STUFF, if tama guess ko kung sino ka you were actually the first one to help me socialize more when you asked to be moot. always grateful na you approached me because feel ko if hindi i'd be the same lazy person i was before huhu medyo natataas motivation ko when i communicate with you guys kasi and it's really helpful 😭

AND FEEL KO I KNOW WHO YOU ARE TALAGA BECAUSE I'VE SEEN YOU SOMEONE NA NAG GAWA NG AMAZING THINGS ABT THE PERSON LIST THING,

the list actually touches me sm goal mo ba umiyak ako bhie what is this behavior /lh "and i think you need more love" OMG STOP MY HEART AS SOMEONE WHO BARELY GETS ANY ATTENTION FROM HER PARENTS THIS IS THE SWEETEST THING YOU COULD EVER TELL ME QJISOWOWNDJOQMSJFIWK THAMK U ANON :( <333

also ang sus ah bat ang specific ng mga tao na kilala ka 🤨🤨🤨🤨/j PLEASEEE DONT THANK ME I SHOULD BE THANKING U FOR THIS OMFJEIWKSNDKKS

thank you talaga this actually touched me, it's so rare to recieve sweet stuff from friends these days. 😭😭😭😭 this is so sweet really:( di ako sure kung sino ka but i have my guess hehehehe pero if mali know na if we actually talk and you're in the server yes i consider you as one of my closest friends and comfort people and im very thankful you chose to be friends with me<3 and im actually glad i introduced you, biu, and su kasi if wala edi wala din akong makikilala sa server and baka never yan nagawa <3

ilyt anon, take care of yourself din don't always put others before yourself because sometimes you just need to not care and prioritize yourself<33 ang sweet mo talaga grgrgrggrr and atm di pa ako inaaway dw HAHAHAHHA NAGTATAMPO NA SANA AKO IF INAWAY NA AKO 😭

[heyitsoak]

IM SO SORRY IF I'LL SPAM UR INBOX FROM NOW ON AHAHSHHAHAHSHJAHA BUT I LOVED THE INVENTOR HC FIC SM I LITERALLY JUMPED AROUND W EXCITEMENT WHEN I SAW YOU ANSWERED IT

may i get the sonic trio (separately obv but only if you take three characters at once :)) with a reader that's literally the definition of this cat

LIKE I MEAN THEY'RE USUALLY WITH THEIR HEAD IN THE CLOUDS WITH AN EVERLASTING BRAINLESS EXPRESSION AND HAS A HARD TIME PAYING ATTENTION FOR A LONGER TIME TO THINGS?? like sometimes they doze off during conversations and kind of forget things easily BUT they r very invested in the other's interests and super curious about them and does everything their little pea brain can handle to keep up with them and are really affectionate 😈😈😈😈 do with that as you wish<3

Your request are literally the funniest ones I’ve done so far lmao

Some of my friends have actually said I look like that cat cause I zone out all the time and have that expression, the cat above is @Bigfootjinx on Instagram <3

Sonic, Tails and Knuckles with a reader who zones out a lot

»»-----------►

Sonic

Okay so as we know, Sonic likes to talk, a lot.

And he likes to rant about stuff he’s interested in, it could be video games, comics, etc

And you do really like the stuff he talks about but if he talks for awhile (Which he normally does) you tend to zone out while he’s talking

He can usually tell if you zoned out because you have that exact expression of the cat.

He can’t help but laugh whenever you zone out because your expression is just so funny

But once he’s had his fun watching you stare off into space he’ll tap your shoulder or wave is hand in front of your face to get your attention

You’ve tried not to zone out while people are talking by interacting with what they say, just saying simple things like “That’s so cool!” “Woah!! Can you tell me more?” Etc

But you don’t interrupt what they’re saying or try to take the spotlight off of them, you just say simple stuff like that to keep your brain interested

Yet even if you do try saying stuff like that, you still tend to zone out while they’re talking

You also forget things easily, as an example, Tom asked you to go get Sonic and the others and tell them that dinner is ready and as soon as you walked off you immediately forgot what Tom asked you to do

You kinda just stood there trying to remember so you wouldn’t have to ask Tom what he asked you to do

You just slowing walked over to Tom and said “..What was it that you wanted me to do again..?” And he laughed a little and told you again. He thinks your forgetfulness and zoning out is funny, it doesn’t bother him though

Sonic loves how affectionate you are, you like to hug him a lot and sometimes you hug him a little bit to tight.. you don’t mean to though!

There’s been countless times where Tom or Maddie would walk into the living room and see you laying on the couch with Sonic laying on top of you about to fall asleep

He just thinks that you’re very comfy to lay on and he finds you running your hands through his fur very comforting

Tails

He would recommend medicine for you to help with your zoning out

If you’re hanging out with him your normally in his workshop and he’s talking about his newest invention and you’re just.. slowly zoning out with that everlasting brainless expression

Like Sonic, he also finds it funny but he won’t try to get your attention, he’ll just see how long you stay zoned out

You frantically apologize for zoning out while he was talking cause you didn’t mean to :(

He understands that you don’t mean to zone out and he just enjoys your company and that you let him talk about his inventions.. even if you’re zoned out the majority of the time

He really enjoys how affectionate you can be! Since he loves hugs he always goes to you for a hug

Once you were helping him repair his airplane and he asked for the wrench and when you were gonna get it you just.. forgot

You could not for the life of you remember what he asked for, you awkwardly shuffled over to him rubbing the back of your neck sheepishly and he sighed trying not to laugh asking

“You forgot what I asked for, didn’t you?” While holding back a laugh

“..Yeaaah”

“I asked for the wrench, Y/N”

You nodded and went back to get the wrench, thankfully, this time you didn’t forget

Knuckles

He would be very confused when you zone out since he’s never seen anyone else zone out before

Let alone someone zone out and have that everlasting brainless expression

He probably would take a picture of you and send it to the family groupchat with the caption “Is this normal?? Are they okay?”

They would tell him it’s normal for you to zone out and have that face when you do, he would still be confused though

He wouldn’t really know what to do to make you stop zoning out so he would just poke your face repeatedly

Once you stop zoning out he would sigh in relief, probably scared that you’d be stuck like that or something

He would offer you grapes in promise you wouldn’t zone out like that again cause it scared him, yet he wouldn’t say that out loud

His heart will flutter if you hold his hand and trace it with your fingers and stuff while you zone out it just gets him so <333

He isn’t one for affection but he accepts it from you

He enjoys your hugs and such, he likes how touchy feely you can be, he thinks it’s cute

Like the others, he doesn’t mind that you forget stuff easily

Once he was talking about something and you started to doze off as he was talking and you kinda just.. fell out of your chair..

He just stood there like 🧍‍♂️ w h a t

Extremely confused as to what happened and if you’re okay

When you get up and tell him that you’re okay he’s very relieved

Just please try not to scare him like that again

WOOO I GOT IT DONE!!! IM SO PROUD OF THIS I THINK THIS IS MY BEST ONE YET 😭💕💕 I personally relate to these headcanons since I tend to zone out a lot when people are talking and forget stuff easily lmao

Feel free to send in requests! This one was extremely fun to do!! My posts may be slow though due to school and end of grade testing coming up <3

[monaisdark]

AHHHH! I loved your virgin shiggy post, I was wondering if you could make a part two with reader giving shigaraki a tit-fuck in an empty classroom, with degradation kink, and exhibition kink! I'm sorry if this too horny - Anon ♥♥

haha.. im back i guess. Its been a couple weeks but i have some time to start writing again :)) checking my inbox, i did NOT expect this many people wanting a pt2 to my virgin shiggy post. prolly my fault for holding it off for so long :/ so i made it longer than i planned but count this a thanks for 200+ followers!! <3 anyways i really need to catch up on my inbox but expect more from me !!

➨ paring — Virgin! (not anymore) Tomura Shigaraki x Fem! Bully! Reader

➨ warnings — Sub! Shigaraki, Dom! Reader, mommy kink, slight masturbation, humiliation, degradation, begging, exhibition, tit-fucking, hand-job, cum denial

PART 1

Shigaraki messed up. It’s been a week. A week since you cornered him in a room and took his virginity.

He still remembers what you told him when you left— “Take a shower tomorrow. Also wear a different top for god’s sake. If you do... I might let you touch me.” 

Shigaraki beat himself over for agreeing to it as soon as he got home. You were his bully. One of the people making his school experience even more unbearable than it already was.

Yet he completely was undone as soon as you placed your hands on him, and you knew it. He just didn’t know what you wanted.

Dick? No, you were pretty and popular— you could probably get some from more desirable guys. To bully him? Sure, you said mean things to him during the encounter but the bullying was always around your friends.

For a whole school week, he stayed home. Making up some bullshit to the school that he had the flu. Frankly, he was scared to go. How was he supposed to face you?

Did you tell anyone? Secretly record it? Was he currently the laughing stock of the entire school for begging to continue to fuck you?

But even away from school, you had an effect on him. He’s still a horny guy. Now, jerking off wasn’t the same anymore, not when he had some taste of pussy thanks to you.

Shigaraki would always end up thinking back to you, even with porn he couldn’t get you out of his head. His hands clamping around his cock weren’t the same as your pussy, same with the bodies of other women.

He found himself indulging into mommy kink porn, something he didn’t really get off from before you. Shigaraki pretend it was you talking to him, bouncing onto his lap and letting him touch you.

But after a bit— Shigaraki found it going no where, they weren’t you.

Cursing, he would always finish early. And not in a good way. In a way where he was left unsatisfied. Putting his painfully hard cock back into his sweats and trying to sleep his horny-ness away.

Shigaraki realized he needed you, you talking to him, you around his cock. Now, he regretted not sticking to his word. But he’ll make it up for you.

You were quite mad. Shigaraki hasn’t been to school since that day. How ungrateful, you literally let him put his dick in you and now he ghosts you in real life.

You fully expected him to be at school the next day with the way he begged you to stay, clean and ready for you. So imagine your annoyance in seeing him not show up for several days.

But today was different, the newly ex-virgin actually showed up. To your surprise, he still did more than you expected him to do despite being a week late.

Shigaraki had changed his hoodie to a whole new one, it looked recently bought. As well as his hair, looking more soft than greasy like it typically was. Though he didn’t style it, it still overhanging on his face.

Still, he definitely looked a lot better, not enough for others to notice but enough for you to smirk at your work.

Both of you didn’t interact with each other besides a few glances until lunch. You guys sat on completely different ends of the cafeteria, him sitting in a small corner table while you sat in a large one.

Shigaraki looked fidgety, meekly looking up every few minutes to watch you interact with your friends. He was waiting for school to end, planning to catch you at the same empty classroom you took his virginity in.

Though you had completely other plans.

“Hey, I’ll be right back.” You got up from your table, grabbing your bag from off the floor. “To?” One of your friends asked, not looking up from their phone.

“Some nerd, he’s gonna do my homework we got last period. Apparently, his parents found out he’s been doing our homework and now he's gotta do them during lunch. Gotta make sure they do it right.” You lied through your teeth, hoping they would just back off.

They didn’t look up, instead pulling their homework worksheet out of their binder with one hand, putting it in yours, “Get him to do mine.”

You rolled your eyes, grabbing the paper, “Yeah.” You walked away, crumbling the paper to throw it in the trash. You’ll just say you lost it. Not like they’ll do anything about it.

Narrowed eyes landed on Shigaraki, his eyes currently focused on his phone. You strudded your way to him, smirking to yourself.

Shigaraki almost jumped when he felt something brush against his leg. Looking up, he was met with you sitting down next to him.

“Hey.” You said, placing your bag on the table and putting your last period’s homework on the table.

“You’re good at chemistry, right?” You questioned, shifting through your bag for something to write with.

“...Well— I... um...—“ Shigaraki stuttered, unsure of what was currently going on.

“Great.” You pulled the phone out of his clammy hands, replacing it with a pencil. “...What?” He tilted his head, was this a joke? Did you completely forget about a week ago?

“Hm...? Well, get onto it.” You uttered him on, putting your chin in your hands, eyeing him. Reluctantly, he looked back to paper, beginning to work on it.

After around 5 minutes, you brushed against him even more, getting close to his side. “What does that say?” You pushed yourself further into his side, your chest touching his arms.

Shigaraki cursed himself for already becoming red, he pants tightening around his crotch as last week flashed into his head again.

“Um... m-mole is a unit of measur— Hmph!“ He held back a loud whine when your right hand traveled to his crotch.

“What— what are you doing?” He asked under his breath, holding back small whimpers as you palmed him, “Where have you been?” You questioned sternly, upset he kept you waiting.

“I’m sorry... I got sick.” He bluffed, it was too embarrassing to admit he was scared. With how he left you hanging, he expected people to be laughing at him the moment he stepped onto school grounds.

“Sick? A whole week?” You hummed, you could already tell he was lying. Still, you were proud that he even bothered to make it up to you by fixing himself up.

“With your diet of energy drinks and chips, I’m surprised you’re not dead.” You decided to let it go, he was just nervous to show up.

Yet you think he deserves a bit of punishment.

Shigaraki felt heavy as you teased the zipper of his jeans. He immediately tensed, “Wait— now..?” He saw you narrow your eyes, “Something wrong?”

“There’s people here!” He whispered yelled, flinching as he felt you unzip his jeans ever so slowly, trailing your finger along his exposed boxers.

“So? You’re just some loser in the corner, nobody will notice if you aren’t obvious.”

Shigaraki could already feel pre-cum form at his tip, staining his boxers a bit. You giggled a bit, feeling the dampness of his boxers. “Already?” Shigaraki shook his head, “I... I haven’t came since... that day.”

You laughed a bit louder than you expected to, good thing the cafeteria was already loud. “How sweet of you. Couldn’t get it on?”

Shigaraki focused his eyes on your paper, muffled moans caught at the back of his throat as you freed his cock from his boxers.

Now slowly pumping him, Shigaraki dropped the pen of the table. He wanted to do something with his hands, to touch you.

He moved his hand to your thigh, but of course, you didn’t allow him, “You’re too eager. Get back to work.” You ordered. Shigaraki was about to question you but you stopped him with stroking his cock faster.

Both of you continued this way for a bit, him answering questions with his shaky hands while you jerked him off.

Shigaraki could’ve sworn he felt eyes on him a couple of times, yet every time he looked up, nobody was even batting an eye in his direction.

He could feel his cock twitch at the excitement of being caught. How would they explain one of the most popular girls giving an outcast a hand-job under the table?

As he got to the last question— he was already drooling on the paper, mouth clenched shut to avoid moaning and panting to be let out.

You could tell he was about to cum, the writing on the paper progressively getting sloppier as time went on. “M-mommy...” Shigaraki whispered just enough for you to hear, “Hmm, you want to cum?”

He nodded furiously, he was extremely pent up and needed release. And just as he thought, you were the only one who can give it to him.

Shigaraki whimpered when you pulled away, looking up at the clock and collecting your stuff. “Then after school, room 204. Actually listen and show up when I tell you this time.”

You walked away just in time for the bell to go off, signifying that lunch was over. Leaving Shigaraki, once again, a mess.

Here he was again, feeling nostalgic as you walked into the empty classroom. Shigaraki easily grew again while anticipating this, the tent prominent in his jeans.

“Y’know, good job for showering and changing.” You gave him praise, Shigaraki turning red from your words. “This... this means I can touch you, right?”

You nodded, “Yeah. I actually keep promises.” He ignored the jab at him, it didn’t matter how mean you were— he was going to touch you finally.

Shigaraki awkwardly shuffled towards you, raising his hands up to look at you with wide eyes. He slowly paced a hand on your boobs, trying to see if this was just some test and you’ll get mad at him.

When he didn’t get anything back, he immediately started to dough on your clothed breast, cupping them. Then, he moved to unbutton your shirt, already seeing you thought ahead and took off your bra before coming here.

He fully took off your shirt, not wasting time on latching his mouth onto one of your nipples, both hands playing with your breasts. Shigaraki was basically humping your leg, sucking your nipples like a baby.

You giggled a bit, patting his head. He looked up at you with a clouded look, pure joy in his eyes as he finally got to touch you.

Looking back down at him, another idea popped up— you already took his virginity and gave him his first hand-job, whats another one of his firsts? “Shigaraki, do you want to feel really good?” He unlatched from your nipple, “I can be inside you?”

“No.” He frowned a bit, but perked up when you trailed your fingers on his boxers. “What if I put this,” You pointed at your boobs, “In between these?”

Shigaraki was already down, eagerly sitting on a desk while you got on your knees. He freed his cock, putting it in between your slick pushed together breasts, thanks to his sucking earlier.

You wasted no time on stroking it up and down with your breasts. He moaned feeling the softness of the valley between your chest, your breasts around his cock giving him warmth as you stimulated him.

Shigaraki was definitely feeling great, you even let him bend down and grab your breasts to control the speed of the tit-job.

Though, Shigaraki wanted more. You were giving him all these things, a hand-job, a tit-fuck. He’s been inside you once and he didn’t get to do what he wanted in the first place. To cum inside his mommy.

He feels a knot grow in his lower abdomen, but he doesn’t wanna cum yet. Instead, he pulled himself away from you, much to your confusion.

“What? You literally were about to cum and I was gonna let you!” You groaned, getting up as Shigaraki faced you.

“...Mommy, can I fuck you?”

“No, you didn’t come to school for a whole week. If you really wanted to you would have showed up.”

Shigaraki turned red, sputtering as he held onto your arm, “Please! I just want you cum inside you.” He whined, tears pricking at the chance of not getting to have sex with you after all this time.

You looked at him stoned faced as he begged, even falling to his knees dramatically to add to his desperation. “Fucking virgins, man.”

Shigaraki felt himself be pushed down, your skirt and panties on the floor. You straddled onto his length, moans filling the room quickly.

“Yes! Thank you, thank you, mommy!” Shigaraki thrusted his hips into yours, feeling even more over-joyed when he was allowed to touch your chest while you were on top of him this time.

Shigaraki desperately missed this, now he remembers why his hand didn’t compare to your tight pussy after trying to jerk off. He found his own rhythm quickly, muffled ‘mommy’s due to his mouth on your breasts.

“I’m doing this because you cleaned up, if you didn’t I would’ve left you to your own sad-ass devices already.” You lied, honestly, you hated the idea what he possibly was ignoring you by not showing up to school.

Even then, you’ve grown a bit found of him. His body, his expressions, his voice, everything really. It didn’t bother you as much when you saw his still messy hair, you were just glad to see him.

Though, you’d never admit it. Instead, it showed through the way you were tightening around his cock, panting as he moaned into and out your body. Shigaraki very quickly wrapped his arms around you, both of you on the edge.

“Fuck— Shigaraki. Cum, cum for mommy, okay?” You ordered, Shigaraki more than ready to fulfill it.

“Ah, thank you! Thank you, mommy! I’m gonna cum inside you!” Both of you rided out your highs, Shigaraki filling you so much it started to drip outside your full cunt.

He fell on top of you despite you initially being on top, you wanted to scold him but honestly couldn’t bring yourself to right now.

The room quieted down, the only words being exchanged were by Shigaraki softly muttering “Thank you, mommy.” into your neck

[leviaju]

forgiveness

pairing: belphegor x GN! reader, hints of everyone x reader

words: 8.1k+

genre: angst, fluff at the beginning and a bit at the end if u squint

warnings: mentions of mc and lilith’s death, foul language

preview: “I’m sorry,” He begins, voice much weaker than anticipated. “I know that will never cut it, and it will never be enough, but I’m sorry.” 

“You’re right, Belphegor. It won’t cut it.”

hey guys what up. so... i’ve done a lot of thinking about belphegor’s dynamic with MC, and, like many others, was really bothered by the sudden switch after... he killed them. u know. typical stuff. i wanted to fill in the gaps!!! if im being completely honest, this has sat in my wips for.... like half a year. it’s my first time writing for obey me, so i hope that everyone’s not too terribly ooc LOL

anyways yeah. i mention how belphegor killed mc a couple of times, so proceed with caution! hopefully, if i get any ideas, the next stuff i write will be a lot lighter. hope you enjoy! (also requests r open soooooooo)

The weight on your chest crushed your rib cage, threatening to snap your bones like they were nothing more than twigs. All you could see was the pitch black of eternal night, and whether your eyes were opened or closed you couldn’t tell. What commanded your attention was the searing pain in your lungs, growing exponentially every half-second, and the unrelenting grip that was slowly shattering your esophagus. No matter how hard you struggled, squirmed and fought against the weight holding your body down, there was no use. It was pointless. The pain spread from the raging fire in your lungs to the tips of your fingertips, and everywhere felt as if you had been set aflame. Slowly, a light illuminated the force keeping you down. 

You couldn’t make out much, save for the cackle that rang insufferably through your ears, and the intense eyes that were staring you down. 

They held no remorse. 

-

Bones ache as you rest against your bed, finally allowing the tension in your muscles to melt away. You’d never mistake this feeling for regret of a busy day, having spent so much time with the people you care about, but it certainly took its toll on you. 

It began with Satan, who’d asked you the night before to accompany him on an early morning walk. It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence — he’d invite you to join his morning routine on every day off, and you’d never refuse — hence, at the wonderful time of 7:00am, you were venturing around the Devildom, hand in hand with the Avatar of Wrath. The two of you would walk, occasionally resting on a park bench for longer than either of you would like to admit, for about an hour and a half before you took an official break. The time was filled with pleasant chatter and comfortable silence. Every so often he’d squeeze your hand, and when you’d look over, the fondest of smiles crossed his face. It was a reminder of how glad he was that you joined him. 

At around 8:30, he took you into a café for breakfast, and two of you spent only about thirty minutes there chattering away happily. For the most part, he was vividly and excitedly discussing a book he’d just finished the night before…

Until you were interrupted.

“Hello, lovely!” Asmodeus wrapped his arms around you from behind, just before pressing a kiss on your cheek. Satan sighed, resting his head in his hand as he watched the interaction. 

“My selfish older brother’s been hogging you all morning, I couldn’t help but want to whisk you away!”

Despite the glare Satan was sending his way, Asmodeus took a seat next to you, happily engaging in conversation as he completely ignored his brother. He told you that the mall was opening in about an hour, and Asmo desperately wished to get his perfectly-manicured hands on a new makeup product being revealed that day. 

“But of course I can’t go alone! How positively dreary that would be.” His fingers twined with yours as he looked at you hopefully, and you ran your thumb across his hand. A sheepish smile crept its way onto your lips, and you looked over at Satan. He simply nodded, flicking his hand as a gesture for you two to leave, and Asmodeus didn’t hesitate. He was quick to stand and pull you with them, holding tight to you as he whisked you away. You called out to Satan, now alone at the table with a reluctant smile on his face as he waved goodbye. 

“Thanks for breakfast! Get home safe!”

You almost missed the chuckle that left his lips, the café door closing behind you. 

Asmodeus kept you until noon. He got a hold of the lipstick he wanted almost right away, but insisted on buying an outfit to match the colour. Regardless of what you’d initially thought, the outfit wasn’t for him.

“Oh, we’ll look positively stunning together!” He exclaimed after about two hours of forcing you in and out of changing rooms, putting his hands all over you to “adjust the clothing” as he deemed necessary. Near the end, you could feel soreness deep in your muscles creeping in from such an active morning, but Asmodeus’ cheery face and constant flirtations helped you forget about it almost completely. 

It wasn’t until you got home that you truly felt the effects of on-and-off walking since early in the morning. Be that as it may, your stomach was growling, loudly reminding you that it was now past lunch. As much as you wished to give up on food for the time being and instead head to your room to collapse, the pain in your belly was enough to urge you to cease any arguments, instead ready to try and ignore the ache in your bones in order to quell the angry rumbling of your stomach. 

Unfortunately, when you finally made it to the kitchen, there was no food prepared. Instead, what you found was a dejected Beelzebub, frowning softly as he once again was at the receiving end of a lecture from the eldest of his brothers. As quiet as possible, you snuck into the kitchen, trying to listen in on their conversation. 

There was silence, followed by a sigh. 

“It’s easier to simply ask what’s going on as opposed to trying to eavesdrop, MC.”

You jumped, then bashfully made your way into the kitchen, a sheepish grin on your face. Lucifer was rubbing his temple. 

“Beelzebub was supposed to be on lunch duty, but ended up ‘taste-testing’ to the extent that he ate it all. Again.” Lucifer sighed. The typically perfect eldest brother was being run ragged, if the bags forming under his eyes told you anything. “So, instead of working on the papers I have to get finished for tonight, I’m stuck making lunch while he cleans up.”

Beelzebub’s frown tugged at your heartstrings, and in spite of the exhaustion clawing relentlessly at your bones, you relented. 

“Why don’t I help? Four hands are better than two,” you proposed, and a small smile graced Lucifer’s face. He lifted his hand to brush the disheveled black hair out of his face, and your chest ached just a bit at the sight. You made a mental note to drag him to bed for a nap the next time you saw him like this.

“That would be more than welcome. Please, if you may.” Already you turned to start working, but Lucifer’s voice made you pause. 

“But no feeding Beel. He’s eaten more than his fill already, he can wait until we’re all done.”

Needless to say, every so often you’d slip Beelzebub a piece of chopped vegetable or cooked meat, and he’d very happily (but quietly!) munch away, his expression radiating warmth and joy. And Lucifer, who seemed to almost be omniscient at times, never once mentioned it. Once the three of you were done cooking, Lucifer placed his hand on your head, patting you gently. 

“Good work, MC. I must leave now, but I trust that the two of you will be able to clean everything up. Your help was much appreciated. You will be paid back in kind for all of your hard work.”

If nothing else, the slight blush on Lucifer’s face as he ever-so-gently pressed his lips to the crown of your head was more than enough payment. 

“Thank you.” Beelzebub cleared his throat, washing the dishes as you dried them. “I… Thanks for helping. And feeding me.”

His smile warmed your heart, and you nodded, bumping your arm with his gently. The small bit of pink that dusted his cheeks compelled you to coddle him, but you resisted the urge. Barely.

“Anytime, big guy.”

After you ate lunch, the only thought in your mind was the prospect of curling up under your covers and passing out. The fretful, broken sleep the night before wasn’t helping at all in keeping you awake, and that on top of the rest of the day’s events had you yearning for the feeling of your pillows. 

Unfortunately, you hadn’t even made it through the door when your phone began to blow up, one notification after the other in quick succession.

GGKKJFLFJG

MC

CMOE QUIC K

PLS

SUPE R RARE EVENT IN MONONONOKE 

PELASE 

YOU HVE TO BE PARTNERED WIHT SOMEONE TO GTE THE PRIZE

MC

MC

PL E A S E

HURRYHURRYHURRYHURRYHURRYHHHUUURRRRRYYYYYYYYYYY

You found yourself in Leviathan’s room, sat in his lap as he explained the event to you. Your half-asleep brain did its best to keep up with his quick speech, but that, along with the warmth of his chest against your back, became the most soothing lullaby. 

“Hey! Normie! I agreed to let you sit here so I could easily help you through the event, but if you’re going to fall asleep on me, I’m pushing you off—“

“I’m awake! I’m awake. 

...Now, what was I supposed to do?”

The unintentional giggle that escaped your lips at his expression caused Leviathan to huff, exasperated, despite the flush of his face. Diligently, however, he thoroughly explained the event, for the second time, and the method to obtain the rare prize: a level 2000 I’m Going To Murder You So Hard That You’ll Come Back To Life Just To Die Again Death Sycthe, the strongest weapon ever released in the game. It was a partner event, which explained Leviathan’s desperate and urgent request for aid. You didn’t mind though. While yes, you’d probably never be able to get to his level of gamer, you were more than happy to go along for the ride. It made him happy! 

Leviathan rested his chin against your shoulder as he played on his phone, focused to such a degree that the usually easy-to-fluster demon was completely unphased by your proximity. Your phone, set to AutoFight, rested untouched near Leviathan’s leg, abandoned on the floor. You watched him expertly take out enemies that would have one-hit KO’d you through heavy eyelids, and every time he beat a wave of enemies, his attention would momentarily avert from the screen, looking at you from the corner of his eye expectantly. A kiss on his cheek was more than enough to motivate him to continue on, albeit with a pink glow on his cheeks until his attention was once again completely wrapped up in the game at his fingertips. 

-

“Levi! I said open up, goddamnit!” 

The pounding against the door was enough to distract Leviathan from his game, subsequently killing his character in the process. He groaned, cursing the demon who interrupted the two of you as he gently lifted you off of his lap, before getting up to open the door. 

“The hell do you want?!”

To be completely honest, you were so wrapped up in watching Leviathan play his games that you had forgotten about your weekly movie night with Mammon, who had come over to his younger brother’s room to drag your ungrateful ass  back to your own. Leviathan had cleared the event in Mononoke Land hours ago, but not wanting you to leave just yet, invited you to keep watching him play. Setting aside how tired you were, how could you say no? You’d wanted to spend time with him, too. 

Unfortunately, you lost track of time, and your phone, battery completely drained from the event, rested uselessly in your pocket. A consequence of this happened to be missing the countless messages and calls Mammon had sent your way, before he began his hunt for you throughout the house. The last place he checked was, of course, Leviathan’s room.

“Come on, human, I ain’t got all day. No one keeps the Great Mammon waiting!” 

“Except for MC,” you heard Leviathan mumble under his breath, and a laugh escaped you before you had the chance to slap a hand over your mouth. Mammon flushed deeply, before striding into his brother’s room. 

“Hey, wait, you moron! I never said—!” 

The force of Mammon throwing you over your shoulder wasn’t enough to hurt, but it certainly was enough to leave you breathless for a moment. “Let’s go, fragile human. I picked the perfect movie already.” Mammon’s words came out in a bashful mumble, but he had enough courage to lift his head and smirk at Leviathan as he carried you out of the room. All you could do was smile apologetically at the blue haired demon before Mammon turned, bringing you out of sight. 

Mammon was all complaints as he carried you to your bedroom, but you knew it came from a place of love. Even though he’d never admit it, you could tell he was hurt by you unintentionally ignoring him. Because of this, instead of demanding he let you down, you allowed him to hold you like this, not a single complaint leaving your lips. 

When he brought you to your room, you were set on the bed you’d missed dearly and he went to put the movie in the player. 

“Hey! No sleepin’ on me, alright? I wanna watch the movie with ya, and I can’t if you’re passed out, now can I?” 

And so here you are now, bed frame creaking as Mammon climbs onto the mattress. Rubbing your eyes, you nod, and lean into him once he gets close enough for you to. 

“Seriously, I’m gonna hafta have a serious talk with Levi,” Mammon grumbles, slipping his arm around your waist and pulling you in so that you’re almost in his lap. He pulls the blankets over the two of you as you rest your head on his chest, and hum quietly in return. “He used up all your energy, and now we won’t be able to get to enjoy the movie as much! Honestly…”

The vibrations of Mammon’s words can be felt through his chest, and you simply cuddle into him more and try to train your bleary eyes on the television screen. The Avatar of Greed shuts up completely when you take his hand in yours and press a gentle kiss to it, before doing your best to focus on the movie. As time passes, however, the idea of giving into your whims grows more than tempting, and oh-so-easy for you to do. 

-

“Hey! Yo, MC! Seriously… You’re hopeless.”

A chiding, yet gentle voice draws you from the confines of rest. You puff air from your nose in response, cuddling closer to whatever it was that had been so comfortable in the first place.

“MC… Come on. Ya gotta wake up, ya didn’t even watch any of the movie! It was really good, y’know.”

Mammon’s hand rubs circles on your back as you mumble incoherently, a noise to acknowledge the fact that he‘s been talking, and that you are indeed awake now. 

It takes a good amount of time, as well as some gentle encouragement from Mammon, to get you to finally open your heavy eyes, and even longer for you to be able to apologize to him for missing out on the movie he was so excited to watch. He pouts a bit, but the blush on the highs of his cheeks lets you know that he didn’t mind all that much. You smile and yawn, and his chuckle resonates in your ears. 

“I gotta go now, otherwise Lucifer’s gonna kill me for staying so late. Sorry I woke ya up, but ya look so tired now that you’ll probably fall back asleep right away.”

And so, after a quick goodbye and a kiss on the cheek (which made Mammon turn the prettiest shade of red), you close your door and… sigh. If you had been able to stay asleep, the fact that you aren’t in pajamas and haven't brushed your teeth wouldn't be that much of an issue. Now that you‘re slightly more conscious, however, it’s hard to convince yourself to simply climb back into bed. Your breath is bugging you a bit, and the jeans you’re wearing certainly aren’t at all as comfortable as your pajama pants.  For that reason, to your own dismay, you begin getting ready for bed — properly this time. 

A small “finally…” tumbles from your lips after you finish your nighttime routine. Lacking any form of grace, you plop into bed once more and pull the blankets to your chin, nuzzling into the pillow. Your bed still smells like Mammon’s cologne, and you hum softly to yourself before closing your eyes and waiting for sleep to take over once more, and hold you hostage until late in the morning. 

Alas, sleep seemed to be evading you now, similar to how you had ignored it during the day. The mattress you lay on simply isn't comfortable anymore, and the blankets that hug your body cause you to overheat. Unfortunately, if even one limb is out of the blanket, you get so cold you start shivering. None of your typical sleeping positions are anywhere near as effective as they typically are, and you’re left to wrestle with sleep alone, hoping to beat it into submission so you can finally get some proper rest. 

After about 45 minutes of tossing and turning with no results, you finally relent. The nap you’d taken while watching the movie royally fucked you over, and you groan. Eventually you decide to give up on trying to fall back asleep, and huff as you sit properly on your bed. 

Blanket dragging behind you as it drapes from your shoulders, you slowly make your way through the silent hallways of the House of Lamentation. The only sounds floating through the walls were the light buzz of electricity running through the wiring of the house, and your own footsteps as you began walking up one of the many staircases in the large building. 

You aren’t sure how long you’ve been walking, the passage of time different at night to a hazy mind, but eventually you arrive at your favourite area in the house, second only to your lush bedroom. There are no artificial lights, only the gentle cast of the night sky providing the ideas of shape in the planetarium. You’ve never seen stars so vibrant and bright, and there are so many more in the Devildom than anywhere you could go back home. Even though the only light comes from the stars, it’s enough to create soft, fuzzy edges around everything in the room; this includes the bundle of various blankets mussed in the centre of the floor. Slowly, cautiously, you make your way towards the pile. 

Since you’d arrived in the Devildom, the planetarium at the top of the House of Lamentation became your safe haven. Your room, without a lock on the door, was way too easy for intruding demons to enter without permission, and on nights when everything became too much for you to handle, you’d head up to the planetarium to clear your mind. There’s just something so calming about a starry sky on a clear night that releases you of your fears and anxiety, and helps you get a grip on the situation around you. 

After freeing a certain someone from their attic-based captivity, however, you learned that the planetarium was a place favored not only by you. Since he’d been freed, you’d been kind, but there were still fears plaguing your mind, reminding you of everything that has transpired between the two of you. It’s something that you can’t escape, following you even - especially - in your sleep, when you wished you’d be the most at peace. It makes sense, considering the sin he embodies, but you wish it wasn’t like that nonetheless. 

Once you’d learned that this was one of his favourite rooms in the house, especially on nights when he can’t fall asleep, you found yourself avoiding this area. It’s not that you hate him; it’s the opposite, really. Nevertheless, you can’t help but feel the tightening of his fingers around your neck, and the burning sensation in your lungs that’s screaming for oxygen, and the desperation to alleviate the seer of deprivation. 

Still, you trek on. Closer and closer to the pile of blankets, your gut cries to you to run away. You ignore it. The nearer you get to the nest of blankets, the faster your heart beats, the more lightheaded you feel. But you continue. 

Eventually you get close enough to make out the shape of a familiar pillow, the cow print on the case worn and well-loved. From the moment you walked in the room, you knew he was here. All the same, you walk on, and the only sounds in the room are the gentle taps of your clothed feet against the tile, and the quiet noises of your quickened breaths.

You’ve avoided being alone with him since… Since you… Since the event. Your heart screamed at you to forgive him, to love him just as much as you love his brothers. That said, there’s nothing in you that can stop your stomach from churning whenever he gets too close. 

Butterflies beat aggressively within your heart and stomach, and it’s years before you get within his range of sight, but you sit down on the floor, holding the blanket tight to your body. 

There’s one beat, 

two beats,

three beats of silence before you can hear him sucking in a breath through his teeth. In your peripheral you can see his lips parting, closing, parting again as he tries to find the words. He heard you walk in, and was pleasantly surprised when you didn’t immediately bolt in the opposite direction. However, this proximity leaves him with an entirely new predicament. He wants to talk to you, he wants to laugh and joke with you the way his brothers do, but one look at your face and he notices the dark bags under your eyes, and the frown that tugs at your lips as you stare up at the stars. He can hear your heart racing, and feel his own in the tips of his fingers. He opens his mouth again, but the crack in his voice betrays his usual collected personality. 

“I’ll go,” Belphegor begins, begrudgingly starting to gather his blankets. His body freezes when his eyes pass over your figure and you’re looking right at him, through him, and he swears he can feel the blood in his veins stop pumping. Your expression is unreadable, almost scary, and he’s never in his life been in fear of a human until this moment. 

The seconds pass as years do, both of your bodies chilled to the bone but neither of you able to look away. In the end, the one who casts their gaze somewhere else is you, and he exhales loudly. 

“Don’t.”

Your reply is simple, but he’s stuck in place. Slowly, he nods, sitting down again the way he had been prior, and pulling his beloved pillow close to his chest. He can’t breathe, the tension suffocating. It doesn’t help that now you refuse to look at him. 

“... If you want,” he replies dumbly, staring at the floor. He feels trapped in place, afraid to move and scare you off. Despite every nerve in his body screaming at him to leave you be, he stays. You told him to, after all. Slowly, you sit down, his blankets creating a low wall between the two of you.

It’s only now that he gets a good look at you. You're tired, he knows, watching as your eyelids droop and your lazy movements when you get more comfortable under your blanket, but there’s more to it than just that. You seem so fragile, like sugar glass, breaking with even the slightest amount of pressure. He feels he can reach over and shatter you with the gentlest of touches, and that thought alone roots him in place. Since you came back, he’s never seen you without a smile. Your genuine smile was the prettiest, he decided rather early on, one that lights up your face and brightens those around you. Belphegor really, truly loves your smile.

He knows there was a point in time, not long ago, where he could have made it so no one saw it ever again. He can’t help but be grateful he didn’t succeed when he sees you smiling at his brothers. 

That’s never the smile you show him though. It’s not for lack of effort; you certainly try, and he loves you for that. But the smile you show him is always plastered on, and he knows you’re doing it for his sake. With Belphegor, your smile never reaches your eyes. Be that as it may, you’re never weak around him. Fake smiles prove exactly how strong you really are, but your heart races every time he enters the room. As much as he wishes your palpitations are out of excitement, he knows better than to give himself false hope. 

That’s why he’s so taken aback when he looks you over and you seem so vulnerable. Never, not in a million years, would he ever let himself believe that you’d allow yourself to look weak in front of him, not after what he did. Even so, here you are, shaking, knees drawn into your chest, and his heart soars because you’re showing him a new side to yourself. It aches at the knowledge that you’re feeling so vulnerable because of him. 

His eyes burn holes in the side of your head. You know he’s watching you, studying you, but you can’t bring yourself to meet his gaze. Not when the hands he uses to pull the blankets over his body are the exact same ones that led you to your untimely and violent demise, and not when every time you look at his face, you can also see Mammon’s above you, sobbing as he tries to will you not to fade away into nothingness. 

There’s no putting it nicely. You were murdered, and Belphegor was the one who killed you. As much as he tries to pretend it never happened, to act around you the same as his older brothers do, you would never forget. Neither would he, regardless of the effort he puts into pushing the memory out of his mind. His chosen way of coping was to laugh with you, to get close and have you forgive him without acknowledging the situation. It was too painful to talk about, after all. He willingly, happily snuffed out the life of someone his brothers love, and someone he’d find himself loving too. You became someone who changed him, helped him grow and be better. It was easier, simpler to act as if you’d met him the same way you’d met any of his brothers. 

Belphegor killed one of the last remaining parts of his past, a part that, while once warm and light, mutated and infected him, causing his anger to grow out of control, like a weed that suffocates any flower that tries to flourish. He killed a descendant of his sister, and the fact that you’re here now is more of a second chance than he thinks he could ever deserve in all his millenia of living. 

And yet, here you are. Scared and shaking, but here. The silence has stretched on for longer than he’d like; he wants to be able to love you, openly and happily, but knows it won’t happen. It can’t, unless he does what he thought was the very last thing he’d do. 

“I’m sorry,” Belphegor begins, voice much weaker than anticipated. He can hear your heartbeat pick up, and he curses himself mentally. Your lip between your teeth, you remain silent. His nerves force him to speak more. 

“I know that will never cut, and it will never be enough, but I’m sorry.”

There’s more silence. He feels like he can’t breathe, the tense atmosphere forcing its way around his throat and tightening its grip. He doesn’t know how long it takes you to even contemplate replying, let alone allow yourself to respond. Belphegor’s ears ring almost deafeningly loud. He can’t take it.

“You’re right.” 

His eyes, which he trained to the ground, dart up to your profile once more. You pause, wetting your lips. 

“You’re right, Belphegor. It won’t cut it.”

There’s not enough time to process your words before he really, really looks at you. Almost fearlessly, you meet his eyes. 

Almost fearlessly. 

The shaking of your hands betrays the strength of your voice. Belphegor’s chest aches. 

“But…”

There’s a pause as you speak. He can’t look away again, even as your eyes meet the stars once more. There’s no chance he’ll miss a word you say, even if it tears him apart.

“It’s… it’s really difficult. I know you know that, but…”

Each time you pause, Belphegor’s mind begins storming. He can’t figure out what you’re going to say, or how you’re going to react, and it drives him crazy. He’s usually so good at reading people, but you’re an enigma. It sends a chill down his spine. 

His throat is caught. Even if he had words to say, they wouldn’t be able to come out. So he sits in silence as you find your own. 

“I don’t want you to feel worse than you do.” You lick your lips. “Or maybe I do? I… I really don’t know. I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about you, Belphie.”

The nickname tugs at his heart, more than he could ever admit. He wants to cry, wants to scream, wants to do anything other than look at your melancholy face, knowing he’s the problem. He wants to run and hide, to sleep forever. He can’t, though. Not when you’re here. Not now. 

Knuckles turn white as he clutches desperately onto his pillow. His breath shakes as he draws in air. 

“I want to love you. I want to love you as much as I love your brothers, and care about you as much as I care for them…”

You struggle to find the words. 

“... But it’s hard.”

You curse your lack of eloquence. Now, of all times, when your words are the only thing that enable you to communicate how you truly feel, they fail you. This might be your only chance to ever properly show Belphegor how you feel, what makes you so conflicted every time he walks into the room with a smile on his face, and yet all you can say is “it’s hard”. Obviously. 

A breath finds its way into your lungs, and the sound of your lips parting in the otherwise silent planetarium echoes in your ears.

You continue.

“It’s hard because every time I see your face, or I hear your voice, or I-”, you falter, heart catching in your throat, “or you touch me, I can’t help but be reminded of what happened.”

Belphegor doesn’t dare tear his eyes away from your form. The grief that settles into his face perfectly matches your own, eyebrows upturned and bottom lip quivering just the slightest bit. Even the trembling of your hands is replicated in his own. He’s never seen you like this, so incredibly vulnerable, and it tears him apart inside to know that he is the cause of it.

A shuddery breath comes from Belphegor, and you fight your instincts to check if he’s okay. You know he isn’t.

The silence deafens you, thundering in your ears so harshly that you're tempted to place your hands at the side of your head to muffle how quiet it is. You don’t, however, and whether it’s because you don’t want to look crazy, or because you’re afraid you might shatter if you move, you’ll never know. Do you want him to talk? Do you want him to say anything? Do you want an apology?

If you had an answer for that, you’re sure that things would have patched themselves up much quicker than this. You caution a glance at Belphegor, and the weight pressing down on your chest gets heavier at his expression. It feels almost as if you can inhale the guilt he feels, the emotion radiating off of him in waves.

“I… Logically, Belphie, I get it.” Again with that cursed nickname. Usually, hearing it from your lips makes Belphegor feel warm and goddamn near giddy, but now it only seemed to drive the knife in his gut further. 

“I understand what happened and why you did it. I may not agree… but I get it, you know?” You swallow.

“In the end, I’m still here. And… and I’ve come to learn that you’re nothing like that anymore. You’ve grown, and changed, and the guilt and anger that consumed you took control, and that's why you-- that’s--” 

You pause, clutching the blanket around you to try and ground yourself. The shakiness in your voice is not missed by Belphegor, and even if it had been, there’s no way he’d be able to ignore the tears that threaten to spill from your eyes. Slowly, subconsciously, one of your hands comes up to rest against your neck, a phantom of the grasp that once threatened to crush you.

“S-So… I understand why you did it. And I’m alive, and we’re friends, so it should all be okay, right?” Belphegor casts his glance away.

“But Belphie… as much as I want to forgive you, I also know that I’m never going to be able to forget what happened. It’s there in my dreams, and it’s there in your smile, and it’s there every single time your arm brushes mine and I flinch like a total loser.”

A weak chuckle makes its way out of your chest, and the halfhearted smile that follows forces a tear from your eye. You’re quick to wipe it away, hopefully quick enough so that it goes unnoticed by Belphegor.

It does.

What he does notice, however, is the frustration that holds tight to the edges of your sentences. The frustration is not directed at him, no. You would be yelling if that were the case, and maybe that would be easier for him to hear. No, this frustration is directed at yourself. You’ve been trying so hard, and all Belphegor has been doing is running away. His teeth dig so hard into his bottom lip, trying desperately not to show any anger he feels at himself, that he tastes iron.

“And then we became all buddy-buddy, you know? Like I was never lied to, or used, or manipulated, or-- or--”

Belphegor is torn from his self-pity when you continue, and he almost wishes you’d stop speaking. The thought that you might break him with your words has him shaking, and a feeling similar to fear courses heavily through his veins. Please, stop. He wants to go back to running away.

But you continue, as you always have.

“And I’m left not knowing how to feel. I’m so mad at myself for being such a coward and not being able to just get over it like everyone else, and I’m so fucking pissed that I can’t just exist around you like I do for everyone else. I mean, I used to be terrified of Lucifer, too.” Another fragile laugh, and you sweep the hair from your eyes with a shaky hand. Belphegor swallows hard.

“But I… I can’t pretend like nothing happened. As much as I want to be near you, and hug you, and take naps and play pranks on Luci with you… I can’t. I can’t act as if what I feel isn’t real, and what you did didn’t happen. It’s so hard, Belphegor.” You sigh, and finally look at him once more. He can’t meet your gaze, slumped over himself and hugging his pillow so tight to his chest it seems as if he wishes to disappear into it. “Especially because I really, truly want to understand why everyone loves you so much. And I want to love you, too. I want to know why Beel smiles every time you’re brought up in conversation, and I want to smile just the same. But… But right now, I can’t.”

Talking has gotten easier. The words that used to escape you have become accustomed to being used again, and confidence has restored in your gut. You sit a bit straighter as you watch Belphegor carefully, a sad smile lifting your cheeks. 

Belphegor knows that this is when he should swoop in, say something so intellectual that you’re caught off guard, and he can save you from… himself. This knowledge does nothing to save him from himself. He can’t even open his mouth to mime a sentence, let alone actually speak. The thought of how pathetic he must look settles under Belphegor’s skin, and he can feel his irritation rising. Not at you though, never at you. Not even when… When it all happened. His anger was misplaced, but he has never been angry at you.

Finally, when the quiet becomes too much, he forces himself to meet your gaze. The way you look at him, just as vulnerable and bare and scared as he is… he feels safe. He knows, even though your words sear his heart, that you never mean to hurt him, especially now. You’re being honest, and simply expect the same from him.

Belphegor inhales a deep breath, before willing himself to speak.

“I thought--” he croaks, and quickly clears his throat. Fuck. “I thought that if… if I could pretend that nothing happened, then I wouldn’t have to face any consequences.”

He curses audibly. Just how pathetic can he sound? Belphegor’s voice is hoarse and quivering, and weak. “Weak” is never a word that he would have used to describe himself, but now it echoes hauntingly against the confines of his skull. One of the most powerful demons in existence, and he finds himself quaking before a mere human. He cares for you, though, and he cares for you viciously. Something in Belphegor knows that he’s never going to be able to prove that to you unless he pushes his way through this.

So he forces himself to continue, even with every cell in his body desperately screaming at him to stop.

“I did what I did out of a place of guilt… and regret. I couldn’t stand the fact that it was because of me, that it was my fault, that I’m the reason that Lilith--”

Belphegor stumbles over his own words, and he sets down his pillow before he accidentally tears a hole through it. Instead he braces himself on the cool floor, in need of something steady to hold onto. This whole conversation shook him to the core. He can hardly believe he’s talking about his sister. She’s a topic that he’s avoided even around Beelzebub…

But if Belphegor ever wants even the possibility that you’ll forgive him, he knows he has to. Everything is on the line. His blunt nails press against the tiles and he focuses on steadying his voice.

“I couldn’t accept that it was my fault.” A newfound steadiness weaves its way around his words, and he finds himself sitting a bit straighter. “I’m the one who introduced her to the human world, and kept bringing her back. I’m the reason she suffered, and why the war started, and why we fell, and why she…” Belphegor coughs. “In the end, I couldn’t accept that I’m the one who killed her.

Your heart yearns to tell him that no, he’s wrong, it’s not all his fault. You know it won’t help right now, though, and that it isn’t your time to speak. Settling back a bit, you let your blanket fall from your shoulders. 

Belphegor’s heart stutters, and pounds so hard that he feels like it's trying to tear through his chest. Even so, he doesn’t miss the way your hand reaches out to smooth over his own, and for a moment he feels himself wanting to melt just from the simple touch. 

Belphegor pulls away. He doesn’t deserve your comfort, not yet.

“So… So when you said that you’re a descendant of Lilith, I-- I couldn’t help myself. I jumped at the chance to get to know you, learn about what makes you similar and what makes you different. Her blood flows through your veins, and I was quick to ignore what I did in favour of getting to know you, and… and inevitably, becoming just as fond of you as my brothers… but that can’t erase what I did.”

The feeling of understanding floods you and you find yourself nodding at his words. To be completely honest, even now, you’re scared. Your heart beats for many reasons, fear one of them, but you don’t run away. Not anymore. You couldn’t bring yourself to even if you wanted to.

Your hand, abandoned next to Belphegor’s, lay dormant. The need to comfort wills you to once again place your hand on his, but you don’t move. When he’s ready, if he ever is, you’ll be there.

Just as he’ll be there for you.

“I killed you, MC. And in doing that, I killed Lilith. Again.”

Countless emotions storm their way through Belphegor’s conscience, despair clawing at his throat, regret snapping his back, and guilt slowly crushing him under its weight. How is it that one can feel so empty, and yet so filled to the brim with misery?

“And not only that, but if I succeeded… I would have completely missed out on getting to know you, and caring about you as much as I do now. It would have been a loss that I never would have understood, but know for a fact that I would have felt. Even… Even when I was proud,” he spits out the word as if it’s poison, “of what I’d done, watching my brothers’ hearts break at the sight of your body… Even then, I felt it. The ache. It’s so fucking stupid.”

His tone, now bubbling with anger, stills you. It’s not directed at you, and you know this, but despite yourself, you freeze. Belphegor notices, and quickly clears his throat, relaxing his shoulders. He allows your heart a moment to slow as he regains his composure, and you find yourself breathing again.

“I know that me saying sorry is never going to cut it.” Belphegor turns his body to fully face you. He’s no longer running from his feelings, or from you. He knows he can’t anymore. Hesitantly, he lifts his trembling hand to place over yours. The muscles in your fingers tense, and he pauses to gauge your reaction. When you slowly nod your head once, he delicately places his hand on yours, using his thumb to gently begin massaging the tension away. “And I know that even if I do everything right from here on out, that there’s a chance that you won’t ever forgive me. And I understand why.”

Your heart sinks at his expression, his gaze locked on your joined hands. As aloof as he normally is, you can see none of that on his face now. When you turn over your hand he quickly pulls away, but your shaky movements to bring his hand back and intertwine your fingers urges him to go on. 

“But I want to try. And really try this time. I want you to be honest with how you feel, whether I’m frustrating you or scaring you or anything like that, and… and I want to be honest with you too. I…”

Belphegor trails off, but you squeeze his hand. He draws in a slow breath. 

“No matter what happens, no matter how you feel, we’re stuck together for the next few months. I want to spend that time getting to know you, and I want us to be as close as you are with any of my brothers… but I also want you to know that you shouldn’t feel forced. If it’s ever too much, I need you to tell me, and I promise I’ll back off.”

The smallest of smiles makes its way onto your face as you quietly agree. Belphegor doesn’t allow himself to try and figure out if it's genuine, out of pity, or sadness, but in spite of everything, it makes him feel a bit lighter. Just a bit.

“This won’t fix everything right away,” you say, and he now knows that your smile is a combination of the three. Along with this, though, Belphegor also knows the small sparkle in your eyes is hope, and he’s willing to take that hope and nurture it for however long he must.

“I know,” he sighs, but even he can feel the small tilt of a smile on his face, “but I’m willing to take as much time as you need to decide how you feel about me. And… And if you decide you hate me, which is fair, and that you never want to even be in the same room as me, I’ll respect your wishes.

Until then...Until you decide that you really, truly hate me, I won’t stop trying.”

There’s no way of telling how long his words linger in the air around the two of you, circling around your heads and making their way through your body. Even so, Belphegor diligently watches you, wanting to make sure he’s not overstepping his bounds. He even contemplates letting go of you, but is reassured when slowly, almost unnoticeably, you begin smoothing out the lines on the back of his hand with your thumb.

As much as you want to tell him that you could never hate him, you also know you can’t promise anything. Still, for now, just as much as him, you’re willing to try. You stay in silence, more comfortable than you’ve ever been in his presence, gently caressing the hand held in your own.

Eventually, Belphegor clears his throat once more. The vulnerability has made him tense and rendered his voice weak. 

“Can… can you hug me?” He all but whispers, fragility making his body quiver once more. He was completely open about his feelings for the first time in a lifetime, and the intensity of it left him craving affection. He knows how unfair this is to you, but he can’t help himself. He wishes to be held, for his fears to be quelled by someone so much stronger than him. “If you don’t want to,” he falters, speaking quickly, insecurely, “I won't even touch you. I-If you do, I promise I can keep my hands behind my back, and I won’t even--”

His words end abruptly as he feels you release his hand, and his heart sinks. He debates running away again, until he hears you moving towards him, and he finds he’s frozen in place. Slowly, but surely, with more courage circulating through your veins than you’ve had all night, you make your way over the blankets that divide you and position yourself right next to Belphegor, pulling him into your chest. Even now, he can feel how quickly, persistently your heart races, and yet you stay. True to his word, Belphegor rests his hands on the ground behind his back, but he doesn’t stop himself from nuzzling into your chest… and he cries. The complete, uninhibited release of his emotions hit him like a truck, and he sobs heavily into you, tears slowly but surely staining your shirt. You adjust yourself so you can hold him closer, slowly and reassuringly rubbing his back as he lets go of everything he’s been holding on to for longer than you can even imagine. This is a man who’s run from his emotions for centuries, and the fact that he’s willing to face them for your sake comforts you, cradles your heart and presses gentle kisses against the cracks. You know that you’re not going to wake up tomorrow with everything okay, but for now… for now you’re comfortable with his touch. Heaving in a deep, steadying breath, you reach down just enough to take Belphegor’s arms, and guide them to rest his hands on your hips. At this silent permission, he slowly, delicately wraps his arms around your waist, despite craving your body closer, wanting to hold you tight and never let go. He cradles you like you’re made of the most brittle glass, and you smile. The gesture touches your heart, and… and you feel safe. You know that all he wants to do is embrace you as tight as he can, but he doesn’t, even with permission. 

Here, in Belphegor’s arms, you feel safe. Here, where Belphegor’s grip on you is so gentle that it wouldn’t even crumple paper, you feel loved. As he cries into your chest, holding you as if you were an antique, hope slowly fills your heart.

Everything is far from perfect, but it’s still on the right track, here in the quiet planetarium.

[primergon]

Hello i was wondering if i can request an TFP match up! ☺️

Im a ENFP, female, 5’5 and a scorpio

i go by she/her they/them im very talkative and interactive with people even with people i don’t really know im very good at starting conversations.

personality wise, i’m very kind and caring but i get irritated/angry very easily if poked the wrong way, i’m very ditsy and say stuff i never meant to say which cause issues, also very dramatic at certain stuff like shows and things i enjoy, im also very curious about things and i’m always try to learn more about people.

things i love are; cats and dogs, Drawing, doing makeup, drawing and writing for my friends, i also love coffee.

i get very clingy with my friends i enjoy hugging and hand holding (platonically). i also curse a lot when i don’t mean to. i try my best and help people around me but never really take care of my own mental health issues.

A/N: Hello anon, hope you are well! Thanks for sending your ask <3 I am indecisive so I think I'll pair you up with TFP Ratchet and Shockwave!

TFP RATCHET

01| Although Ratchet is more quiet and reserved personality-wise, he is attracted to your playful and lively nature. You insisted on befriending him, your outgoing nature leading you to start conversations with Ratchet. Even if he initially showed no interest in returning the gesture, he started to warm up to you. The doctor finds himself missing you, catching himself disturbed by the silence. Your chatter would usually keep him occupied, a background noise he enjoys to listen and engage with during work. Ratchet would nag you whenever you don't visit often ( he says he's worried that the location of this base may be compromised but everyone knows it's because he wants you to keep him company. )

02| Ratchet likes how curious you are at everything, he is inquisitive by nature. It warms his heart to see you playing with the children and the animals you pass by on patrol. Your genuine curiosity towards Ratchet's past made him open up to you. He's touched that you were willing to listen to him the same way he listens to you. As much as Ratchet scoffs at your dramatic retelling of the most recent episode of your favorite show, he's actually interested. You were surprised that he remembers every detail. " Don't just end the story there, what happened to your favorite character ?" " Wait, you were listening? So you do care !"

03| Arguments were inevitable, yet they don't happen often. You may share playful banter a handful of times, but serious disagreements were usually avoided through open communication. Both you and Ratchet are more emotionally attuned than others, and you both tend to say things you don't mean in an argument. No one likes to fight with their partners, so you both always make sure to find a solution to it. While Ratchet brings creative solutions and commitment to fixing problems, you offer a more flexible attitude that helps dissolve tension. Ratchet likes how you can make him smile whenever he's in a bad mood.

04| Both you and Ratchet can often forget to take care of yourselves. So you both take it upon yourselves to look out for another. He's not exactly clingy, but he will return gestures of affection when you're both alone. While your cursing may bother Ultra Magnus, Ratchet isn't phased, not when he likes to mutter curses under his breath on a particularly rough day too.

TFP SHOCKWAVE

01| Shockwave isn't completely detached from his emotions as everyone says. Cybetronians aren't robots, they can't just turn off their feelings and conscience. He has only suppressed them to the point of numbness. Yet, this doesn't mean he doesn't feel. He's curious about this growing attraction he has towards you. As cruel as it sounds he initially saw you as an experiment and he didn't notice your presence much. Until he starts hearing laughter from the corridors. He'd catch you chatting with the Vehicons and sharing quips with Knockout. He finds you strange. He finds you intriguing.

02| Shockwave is a logical thinker and prefers to discuss issues by addressing facts; while you generally prefer to address the emotional aspects of an issue. As much as he didn't want to admit it, you complete one another. There is balance in your work, and that is more than enough for Shockwave to start valuing you. Eventually, he doesn't only see you as an equal, but he sees you as someone special to him. It's been a while since he explored anything romantic towards anyone. At times you'd argue because of his bluntness, it would lead to a lot of miscommunication. However, you were more than happy to take the lead. Even if the gesture isn't outwardly noticeable, our scientist is also making efforts.

03| He likes to stare. At first, you think it's creepy, but then you realize he was admiring you. It took you a while to catch on when he doesn't have a face. His glowing red eye may be intimidating, but you don't miss the subtle show of love he has towards you whenever you pick up a stray cat to cuddle it. You weren't allowed to reveal your location to anyone but you were allowed to write letters to your loved ones ( after much convincing on your part. ) So he watches you neatly fold the paper into an envelop to be shipped back home. Shockwave says he's watching to supervise you so you won't compromise the Decepticon cause or reveal any sensitive information on your letters, but you once had caught him longingly hold the paper across his fingers.

04| He doesn't understand why you like to drink so much coffee when it tastes bitter. Yet he knows it makes you productive, so he would ask several Vehicons to fetch you some lattes. It was a funny sight, yet you are always thankful for the delivery after a long day in the lab. Shockwave would hold it out to you gently, making sure that your order is right every time. Your fingers would brush and he'd cradle your palm tenderly. It may be subtle, but coming from Shockwave, it was more than enough.

I hope you enjoy this Anon ! xx