#but in her case it really is about the historical inaccuracies

[rhysintherain]

The 20th century vampires are pretending to be hundreds of years old again, and the actual 200-year-old vampire is mad about it:

She reached the bottom of the stairs and threw her arms around Avery. “Love, I missed you! You’ve barely paid me any attention since I’ve been in town!” she admonished. Avery returned the hug briefly, then stepped back. Molly kept her hands on Avery’s shoulders. “Nice to see you too, Moll.” “Is it? After you neglected me all this time?” Avery smiled. “Well you know, I’ve been busy.” “Too busy for me? After all we’ve been through? “Remember Paris, love? It was 1836, and the lights of the city shone over the Seine like stars!” “You were acting at Du Pantheon,” Avery replied. “You played Sanchette -” “Ahem, Constance,” Molly corrected, putting on her best offended expression. “Of course, Constance in La Princesse de Navarre," she corrected. "You wore that stunning crimson gown.” “I still miss that gown. You were working on the docks, scandalising everyone by wearing trousers.” “Somebody had to show the men what a decent day’s work looked like.” Footsteps on the balcony above the stairs marked Bastion’s arrival. Avery looked up to see him leaning on the railing and watching them. “Everyone raise your hand if you were born before 1950.” He raised his hand, then feigned surprise. “Oh right, it’s just me.” He descended the stairs unhurriedly, with none of Molly’s grace. “You two know Du Pantheon was a cinema, right? It was built after the invention of film. If you’re going to pretend to be old and sophisticated, at least do your research first.” “I would, but it might raise the nerd vibes around here to dangerous levels,” Avery countered. Molly pulled back, crossing the vestibule to drape an arm around Bastion’s shoulders. “I have no idea why you two always want to pretend you were around back then. It stank. Literally, it smelled awful. And good luck finding blood that didn’t taste like tuberculosis or syphilis in 1830s Paris.” “Spoilsport,” Molly pouted.

[buckysegan]

We've been waiting for you, John Egan

summary: there's more waiting for john when he gets back from stalag luft iii. john egan x she. word count: 2.1K a/n: something in me felt a little feral tonight and this was needed. a little curvy fmc mention but nothing too much. i just love john egan and would give him all my babies i guess??? again we're rolling with some historical inaccuracies. a continuation from here

it had been five hundred and fifty one days. that was how long it had been since she had seen major john egan. that long since she had slept a whole nights sleep without worrying. that long since she'd known what i was like to be really settled. she tried not to think about it, how much time had passed and how hope seemed to get a little bit worse with each passing day. but it was so hard when she had such obvious proof of just how much john was missing whilst he was away.

she hadn't even realised at first, what the signs were. she had been so consumed in work with more pilots to care for in the hospital than ever before she had barely noticed that she was tired. the nausea was just a sure sign of how much she was missing john. she was confident of it. despite her not eating, the swell of her already generous hips was inconsequential compared to the rest of her worries so she barely paid attention to any of it.

it was douglass, sweet douglass that made the first joke about how if he didn't know better with how often he'd seen her run away to throw up he'd assumed she was pregnant. after that it hadn't taken long for the room to fall silent and for everyone to slowly do some of their own math. the other nurses has scooped her up, rushed her away to the infirmary and sat with her as she did her own calculations on what had happened. three months since she had last bled. dear god.

she should have been sent home. everyone around her knew that was likely when her bump started to show under her uniform and she was ready too, to be sent home and discharged, but the hundredth had always been an unruly bunch and it was almost as if no one could bare to send her away just in case. what would egan do if he got back and they weren't here? no one asked her, who the father might have been, everyone knew without anyone having to utter the words, hardin pulled plenty of strings to keep her around for his boys.

weeks of knowing, turned into months and each of the men around her stepped up in place of their friend. blakely rubbed at her shoulders when she looked a little tired. crosby was around day or night to fetch anything she might have needed. rosie tossed out baby names for girls and boys alike, offering sincere ones and ones that he knew would make her laugh. jack left the traded jacket for her on her bed and no one said a damn thing when she wore it around base. each of them did their best but when she laid on her bunk at night, hands cradling her bump it didn't take away the longing for her major.

those quiet times were when she let herself imagine what it would be like if all of this was happening at different times. how much larger johns rough hands would look splayed across her stretched stomach. just how good he would be at building things ready for the baby and preparing for their impending arrival. the soft spoken words that would have been offered in encouragement through her doubt.

it was two hundred and eighty two days since she had seen john, when the screams of a baby boy filled out a hospital wing and cheers of the hundred went up at the sound. a new soul welcomed into the world and surrounded with so much love despite the fact his dad was stuck somewhere out there.

jokes were passed around at the spirit of baby egan and the hope that he offered for the men. every time the men went up, there he was in the tower reminding them what they were all fighting to come back for. what good in the world still made it all worth while. as cheesy as she had always found it, she knew that the saying it took a village to raise a child had never been truer than it was here in thorpe abbotts.

gale cried when he saw them for the first time. the woman he knew his best friend had been fighting for and the bundle of brown curls in her arms. guilt flooding him that john had allowed him to escape when he had this to return home too. a family. a pair of matching blue and a smile that warmed his heart waiting for him to make it back. he told her as much, that he was sorry and it should have been bucky that made it home and she was quick to remind him that, john egan, wouldn't be the man either of them loved if he had ever left buck behind.

the days seemed to be longer now gale had made it home and she was still waiting on her bucky. each laugh her son offered and mile stone he hit causing a contradiction of emotions in her. joy that she got to witness it all and devastation john was missing it all.

it had been five hundred and fifty one days. that's how long she had been counting when blakely flew into the hospital, douglass and crosby on his tail. "john's home." the two words alone were enough to make her knees buckle as she looked back at the trio, who were all seemingly holding their breaths as they waited for her to respond. she would have cried, with joy, with relief, with the overwhelming sense of emotion that flooded through her. she was going to cry, she was sure of it but right now she needed to see john and she needed to make some introductions. with gale still away on relief mission, everyone knew who john would be asking for first.

bucky could feel something was wrong the second he landed. people had been happy to see him for sure, but there was a buzz around the boys. they were all looking at each other, over him, like they were all sharing a secret he couldn't be privy to right now. it was driving him crazy and that was saying something.

"buck alright?" he found himself asking because if anyone liked to tiptoe around him, it was usually around his best friend but everyone seemed to jovial for that to be the case. even kenny was here with that god damn stupid grin on his face that the rest of them seemed to be wearing. what was he missing?

"yea bucks fine, he's flying today but nothing to worry about, just dropping supplies, we just thought there might be someone else you wanted to see." blakely offered with a nod of his head, and john was sure his face was a continued picture of confusion as he watched the men part like some sort of celebrity was on base but his frown quickly vanished as he saw her. the last time he had seen her this clearly she had kissed him goodbye before they had dragged themselves away from each other.

"we've been waiting for you, john egan." god her voice was even sweeter then he remembered but it was the we in her statement that drew his attention to the small bundle in her arms. a baby. a boy by the looks of it and he felt his stomach drop. she had moved on, of course she had. without him around he wasn't surprised that someone else had scooped her up. he moved to look at each of his men, trying to find which one looked guilty but he was met with more excitement, a little confusion even, what were they surprised he was heart broken she hadn't waited for him.

"you going to stand there all day or are you going to come meet him?" she asked, voice soft as she raised a hand to him and bucky moved towards her without much of a thought because no one seemed ready to stop him and his fingers linked with hers as soon as they were in reach. "you had a baby." john smiled down at her softly, eyes full of wonder as he looked at the small version of herself that she had created.

" i sure did." she nodded with a smile the men hadn't seen in months, the one reserved just for bucky. "i'd like you to meet thomas gale egan." time stood still for a moment then, john was sure of it as he looked between her and the baby she was holding, his blue eyes taking in each feature of the infant before him. their eyes matched he realised after a moment, the dark curls on his head were the wrong shade to be hers, they were his. she was holding his son. "baby...you had my baby?" he asked, as if he needed some sort of further confirmation of what his eyes at told him.

"mhumm, i told you, we've been waiting for you, do you want to hold him?" she offered, her face a mirror of the men around them, all smiles and joy and as john took tommy in his hands with such care she stopped trying to fight the tears that had been ready to spill since she'd heard he was home. with tears rolling down his own cheeks john took in the baby that watched him with what he hoped was quiet wonder, he had a whole baby boy that he had never known about and he was perfect. "thomas gale egan, it sure is good to meet you." reaching a spare arm around her bucky pulled his girl close to his side, unable to move his gaze from his son.

"alright any of you clowns going to tell me what else i missed whilst i was gone?"

he had been sure that he would sleep for hours when he returned to base. that his body would crash and that he would need time to recover but he had never felt more wired than he did as he stretched out in bed. it had taken john far to long to shake the rest of the boys, listening to stories of how each of them had helped his girl at some point. stories of all tommy's firsts since he had been born, the photos they'd managed to get all offered to john so he could piece together the time he had missed.

he'd stepped away from them only to check on gale when he had landed who had offered him the biggest grin and wondered if he had met his name sake yet, john still unable to believe she had named their boy so well.

nothing about his should have surprised him though, she was perfect, she had been before he had gone and now as he watched her tucked into his side sleeping softly like her own body could finally rest. tommy was spread across his chest, warm skin to skin, sound sleep on him with his little mouth wide opened as he showed no sign of being anything other that utterly content as he slept on his dad, one of john's hand spread across his tiny back taking up the whole space but to afraid to let him or his mom go as if either of them might vanish on him.

feeling her stir a little in his arms john pulled his gaze from tommy for a second to meet sleepy eyes, his chest flooding with more love for her than he had ever thought possible when he'd had to leave her a life time ago now. "you struggling to sleep?" she asked, her voice thick with sleep as she checked on tommy for a second before her eyes met john's once more. "i'm scared i'm still in that camp and neither of you are real." his confession was quiet as he offered it and with a soft hum, she pushed gently, pressing her lips to his. "sleep daddy, we will both be here in the morning."

"i just want to watch him a little longer." john offered quietly, tucking her back into his arm so she could sleep once more. if he never slept again it wouldn't be a shock to him. how he was ever meant to stop looking at this? well bucky just didn't know. "thanks for waiting for me, baby." he offered, to her sleeping form, lips pressing a kiss to the top of her own curls. he'd been waiting for them too, he'd just not known how to dare dream of it, till they were here in his arms.

[suna-cerely-yours]

Say you love me (Losing all my innocence in the backseat) ft Tobio Kageyama

Synopsis: What should you do when you're being forced into marriage?

a. Seek ravishment from the most notorious rake

b. Get ravished by a stranger who you thought was the most notorious rake

c. Get married anyway d. All of the above

warnings: fem!reader, afab reader, 18+, mdni, themes of misogyny, historical inaccuracy, dubcon (not really but it's a case of mistaken identity), public sex, dry humping, making out, reader is called good girl.

a/n: think of it as a Bridgerton au. not historically accurate at all, and i might have gone overboard with the dialogue. i also use the phrase 'notorious rake' too much, but there's so much fun to be had in this universe

♛

"She's turning four and twenty next month! She debuted six years ago! She'll be on the shelf if you wait any longer. I've given enough autonomy to you, and clearly, I am the only one who's worried about the poor child!"

Your aunt announces to your mother a fair morning in September, having arrived at your townhouse in London a mere three days after you and your family had yourselves arrived for the season.

You freeze in your seat at the sudden change in topic (they had been discussing lace doilies, for heaven's sake), teacup raised halfway to your mouth. Your mother is also taken aback at this, although she hides it better than you, having years of experience dealing with your father's cousin.

Painting a gracious smile, ignoring your sudden personification of the stone gargoyles that graced the roof of your townhouse, she swallows her sip of tea.

"Surely, you've given this a lot of thought."

Your aunt sniffs, the flamboyant feathers on her dress quivering as you watch, teacup still in hand, " Someone has to! You handle a household so charmingly my dear, but you are too lax with your daughter. I should have known the moment you and my brother decided on teaching the lass Mathematics and Science. Honestly, had she taken up the piano forte instead she might already be popping out her third child!"

Your mother's smile becomes strained as she pats your hand, gesturing you to put down your teacup. "The piano forte is of course, a fine skill to be knowledgeable of. We have been looking for suitable er suitors for her, but you must know how the mart is, there's been a recent dearth of good men."

"What a load of hogwash that is! You know the ladies of the ton have been talking, after that whole ordeal with Lord Miya, especially Lady Evans- she gossips entirely too much for her own good. Either way, I have a perfect gentleman in mind for her, in fact they share quite a bit in common."

You watch in horror as your mother's interest piques at this, and your aunt barrels on. White noise fills your ears as you find yourself rising from the breakfast table, barely remembering to excuse yourself, rushing to your room. Gripping a bed post you lower yourself on your bed. It wasn't as if you were unaware of the fact that you were nearing an age after which you could no longer be looked at as an eligible option, nor were you unaware that your parents wished you married soon. However, you quite liked your life on the sidelines. You had a bit more autonomy than usual for an unmarried woman your age, and after what your friends and neighbors had said about marriage itself, you certainly were in no rush to partake.

You had to get out of this, by any means necessary.

♛

"D'you reckon Lady Wei has a female lover? I didn't know you could do that, Mama always said only men and women can be married, but that's such an old concept, don't you think?" your friend chatters, pointing out various people milling about at the Beauford-Shankar Annual Ball. You had attended every year, since your debut, and so had your friend, and usually the two of you would have a splendid time, pigging out on the different cakes and gossiping about the various characters who showed up each year. However, this year, you could barely stomach the few sips of lemonade you had, stomach turning at the prospect of meeting Lord Grant, the oh-so-perfect suitor your aunt has scrounged up.

"Oh!" she gasps, "and did you hear? Lady Garcia was ruined over the summer, by none other than our favorite rake, Lord Oikawa. She's apparently headed to the continent now, to traipse around, since she can spend her dowry as wishes. I wish I could do the same, Lord Oikawa please ruin me!" she laments, pretending to swoon against the window in front of which the two of you were situated.

Casting another cursory sweep around the ballroom, you turn towards your friend smiling, " And what news about our second favorite rake, Duke Kageyama? I overheard two ladies discussing he saved yet another poor girl from marrying her grandfather's schoolmate."

Your friend's eyes widen as she latches onto your arm, "Did I not tell you? He's so dashing, a libertine of course, having ruined what- at least fifty girls by now-" she stops to fan her face. "But all those women would have been positively miserable, had they married their intendeds. He's done the world a great good, if you were to ask me."

Smiling slightly, you're reminded of a quiet boy. You cannot recall his features very well, but it is rather hard to forget the only man who's ever caught your eye. You hadn't realized he'd turn into a libertine, but at least in your memories he'd always be the shy boy who'd helped his older sister secure her love match.

Lifting the glass of lemonade to your lips, you take a sip, before promptly choking, as you catch sight of your aunt and mother, being followed by a blonde gentleman, heading straight towards you.

♛

Tobio was decidedly not having a good time. Society events were low on the list of things he did enjoy, and after many years of not attending any, the Beauford-Shankar Ball was bordering unbearable.

"Tobio! Smile a little, you'll scare off all your admirers."

"Lord Sugawara, I have no idea what you're talking about."

"It's your first society event in nearly six years, why don't you look around? See if anyone catches your eye, or if you can even find that one girl who you used to stare at."

Tobio sputters, cheeks heating, "I- I didn't stare at anyone, and besides even if I had she would have been married by now."

Swallowing, an unbidden image of an eighteen-year-old girl comes to his mind, laughing at something Miwa had said to her. He'd been nineteen that year, much too young to even think about marriage and too focused on his sudden inheritance of the Kageyama dukedom. Miwa had married that year, and he had been running himself ragged trying to keep everything in order. But he remembered that one ball, the last one of that season, a young woman with a throaty laugh, big eyes and a closed posture, as if she were unsure of being there. He hadn't caught more than a glimpse of her, but her memory had remained, after all these years.

Suppressing a twinge of jealousy and sadness Tobio continued, "There was no one. Besides, it is becoming a little difficult to enjoy myself with all these Mamas glaring at me."

Sugawara tilts his head, surveying the room. "Ah, that must be because you've deflowered nearly fifty young ladies these few years."

"Yes, there's that but- wait, wait a moment, what? What did I do?" Tobio turns to Sugawara, astonishment smeared across his face, eyes narrowed incredulously.

"Deflowered, ruined, y'know all the good stuff." Sugawara shrugs with a small grin.

"No, what- I, no that's impossible. I- yes, there's been one or two women, but not- not young ladies. What are you saying?"

"Well, Your Grace, in the years you've declined to grace, ha, us with your presence, the gossip mill has churned quite a bit. You've prevented many marriages; I am sure you're aware."

Feeling completely discombobulated at the news, Tobio groans, "You have got to be jesting, there's no way- I certainly would know if I had ruined fifty young ladies, and I can assure you I have done no such thing."

"The truth is often not gossiped about my young friend. It seems as if the young ladies of the ton are taking advantage of your absence from society to escape from their intended marriages by using your name. They say they've been ruined by you, pay off a maid to spread rumors of 'catching' the two of you in the act and voila! No unhappy marriages for these women, and an expansion of your sordid reputation."

Scrubbing a hand across his face, Tobio sighs," and you did not think to inform me of these happenings, at least once?"

"I was completely under the impression that you were a right rake!"

Tipping his head back, Tobio sighs again. This was going to be a long season.

♛

"Well? What do you think about Lord Grant? He's the modern sort of man, isn't he?" your mother asks you the morning after the ball, hope evident in her eyes.

"He's nice, I suppose," you mutter, refraining from mentioning exactly how modern the man was. "Sure, if thinking a woman's only role in life is being a perfect wife- then yes, he's perfectly modern."

Your mother frowns at this," darling, you know Lord Grant is a better choice than being a spinster. He may have his faults, but your aunt is right, your father and I have been too careless on the topic of your marriage. You've always been the adjusting sort, surely you can adjust here as well?"

Pressing your lips together you offer no reply, choosing to focus on your breakfast instead. Your mother sighs, pressing her fingertips to her temple.

"All of this would have been easier had you just accepted Earl Miya's proposal two years ago. I don't see how you could refuse a man of his type!"

"Lord Miya had proposed to me because he had lost a wager, Mama. I was not going to marry a man only because he was trying to honor his dignity."

"Nonsense, wherever did you get such an idea!"

"Well, you see, the other Lord Miya-"

"And whyever would you be a wager forfeit, of all things!"

There was no arguing against her. "Mama, I do not wish to marry Lord Grant."

Your mother appeared to have gained selective hearing.

"There's to be another ball tonight. You will dance with Lord Grant and form a more solid opinion on him. Your father is already quite fond of him."

"Mama, why are we doing this now? We don't have to listen to Aunt-"

"And stay away from the edges of the room and other dark corners, Lord Sugawara is friends with the nastiest men, I do not know why, he is a gracious man, but London's notorious are sure to be there tonight. The last thing we need is you to be found with, with that Lothario Oikawa, or worse, Kageyama!"

Rolling your eyes this time you retort, "Mama, the ton hasn't seen Duke Kageyama in years, I wouldn't even know who to look out for. As for Lord Oikawa-"

You stop. Lord Oikawa, notorious libertine, deflowerer of virgins, and all-round suave gentleman. Lord Oikawa, who from the whispers of the ton, was tall and handsome, and never turned a lady down.

You smiled.

"Mama, please be sure to ask Lord Grant to find me before the final waltz."

♛

"You've completely lost it, haven't you?"

You choose to ignore your friend, and continue your search for Lord Oikawa.

"Why is it, that he's our favorite rake, yet we've never actually seen what he looks like?"

"He's tall and handsome and has the prettiest eyes, or so I'm told. There cannot be many men that fit that description, can there?"

You discreetly point to a man standing in front of the painting of a fruit bowl, seemingly immersed in thought.

"There, he fits the bill perfectly, would you not say?"

Your friend follows your finger, before seeming to melt at the sight of the man.

"That's Baron Wakatoshi, he is quite tall and handsome, isn't he?"

"What about the man on the stairwell?"

"That's Lord Kuroo, he's quite a catch too, I must say-"

"What about him?" you whisper urgently, "in the center of the gaggle of mamas."

"That's Lord Kita, any lady who catches his eye would be the luckiest woman ever. And I mean ever-"

You groan, pressing your palm to your face. Why was Lord Sugawara acquainted with so many tall and handsome men? Granted he too was a part of the set, but surely friendship required more criteria? Perhaps a love of Plato, or horse riding?

Your friend suddenly tugs at your wrist, "that's him, oh my goodness, it has to be! Look at the refreshments, in the maroon coat, that's Lord Oikawa!"

An icy shiver bolted down your spine, as you glanced at the refreshments table. Now that you had found him, it was time to seduce him.

"The maroon coat you say?"

"Yes, he's reaching for that pastry look!"

You paused.

"That is not Lord Oikawa. That's Lord Miya."

Your friend looks at you with her eyes widened.

"You turned down a proposal from that man? It's worse than I thought!"

"No, I turned down a proposal from his brother, although they are identical, I suppose."

Your friend moaned," why haven't you introduced me to him, I could have been Lady Miya by now. You're a terrible friend."

"Er, I'm not exactly friends with him, but I'm sure he'll recognize me. Do you want an introduction now, or-"

A flash of navy catches the corner of your eye. You sharply turn your head, to watch a tall, dark-haired man slip out the garden door. Frowning, you glance at the clock, the final waltz would begin soon, and no gentleman would escape to the gardens right before it. It had to be him.

"I- I'm heading to the gardens, if Mama comes looking for me, tell her I'm in the gardens."

Your friend, still fixated on Lord Miya, flutters her hand in a go shoo motion. "Happy ravishment dear, tell me how it goes will you?"

♛

Tobio never should have believed Sugawara. Tonight's ball was worse than the previous and once Tobio caught sight of Oikawa it had been game over. Without looking back, he had rushed out the doors into the cool night. Making his way through the garden maze, he arrives at the center of it, where a small waterfall sparkles under the moonlight. Loosening his cravat, he pulls it off and slips it into his pocket, gulping fresh air. Tilting his head back, he closes his eyes, grateful for the solitary moment. He'd always hated the London ton- the socializing, the small talk, the judgement. Perhaps he ought to retire for the season and return back to his country home.

A rustling of skirts draws his attention, and he turns quickly, eyes flying open and, oh.

It's you. The girl from six years ago.

You don't quite look the same, but you do. Your stand straight now, eyes fixed on him. The same eyes, the same lips. Tobio feels the strongest urge to say something jocular, to hear you laugh again- to know if it was the same. However, before he can open his mouth, you're making your way to him, purpose in your steps. Instinctively he takes a step back, the back of his shins bumping into a stone bench.

"I," you begin, and Tobio's lips part at your voice.

"I," you say again, before stopping to take a deep breath. It takes every ounce of strength to Tobio has to not let his eyes flicker down as your bosom heaves with the motion.

"You're Lord Tooru Oikawa."

Tobio blinks. It cannot be, there's no way. No fucking way.

Before he can inject, you continue, effectively quashing any opportunity for him to rectify your mistake.

"I'm going to just say it, so please listen. I need to be ravished, right now."

Tobio's head has stopped working, and clearly so have his ears. There is no way in actual hell you said what he thought you did, and not to someone you thought was fucking Oikawa.

"I know it's improper to ask, and I'm not sure how these things go exactly, but I really need you to- to," you stumble over your words, clearly unsure what a ravishment entails.

Tobio finally finds his words and raises a hand to stop you.

"You have the wrong person, and I'm not sure why you're here, but your reputation would be ruined if you were to be found with me. Please let me leave you alone."

Heart pounding, he goes to move, but you quickly close in on the few paces that separate the two of you. Startled by your sudden proximity, Tobio drops down on the bench behind him.

"No, please. You don't understand- I need you to, to ruin me."

"You want to be fucked by Oikawa?" Tobio asks incredulously, feeling too confused and hurt to register the use of profanity before a young lady.

You frown, brow furrowing.

"Er, yes- I want to be ahem fucked, by you," you whisper the word, and a shiver runs down Tobio's back.

You move closer, placing your hands on his shoulders, and nudging his legs apart so that you can stand between them.

"Please, fuck me."

♛

You had no idea why Lord Oikawa was referring to himself in third person, but you decided to move on to more pressing matters. The man in question was looking up at you, eyes darkened, and mouth parted.

The rumors weren't wrong, and with a face like that- you could see why the ladies of the ton were queuing up to be ravished by this man.

There was something so curiously familiar about this man as well, although you suppose that was a part of his charm as well.

His hands rise to hover around the vicinity of your waist- hesistating.

Impatiently you guide his hands to your waist, heart backflipping as he immediately squeezes and pulls you closer to rest his head on your stomach.

"You don't know what you're asking for."

You shiver at his dark tone, acutely aware of his hands wandering, stopping occasionally to press into a particularly plush part.

"I know what I want."

"What if I were to tell you this is it? This is all there is to ravishment?"

"No!" you blurt out, sinking your hands into his hair and pulling, "it's not enough."

Inhaling sharply, he tugs, pulling you fully into his lap, knees on either side of his hips. Wrapping an arm around your waist he leans in, lips brushing yours as he speaks, warm breath fanning across your face.

"Say it again, tell me what you want."

Heat pooling in your lower stomach, you swallow once before you're able to get the words out. You feel your nipples peak, pushing against the thin silk of your dress.

"I want you to fuck me," you whisper, "I need you to fuck me."

His eyes flutter shut as slowly exhales, one hand sliding up your back to rest on your nape. Tilting your head back he leans forward and presses an open-mouthed kiss right in between your collarbones, then lower. You gasp as he licks across your décolletage, nipping at the swells of your breasts. Your nerves feel on fire, liquid lava coursing as he continues his ministrations.

"Who?" he murmurs, "Who do you need to fuck you?"

Whimpering you grind down on his lap, desperate for some sort of friction. Cursing softly, he rolls his hips up, and you whine as something hard presses against your core, at just the right angle- leaving you incapable of coherent thought.

"Please, again, just-" you cry, desperately searching for that rhythm again. Panting, he grips your waist again, lifting and moving you on his lap so that you're able to chase your pleasure.

The two of you rock together, Oikawa cursing under his breath as he scrambles to untie the laces holding your dress together. A faint part of you wonders why a rake with so much experience was struggling with a mere corset, but that thought vanishes the moment he slips his hands into your dress. Grinding against him, you frantically get rid of your gloves as he pushes your bodice down, baring yourself for him and the cool night. Sinking your hands into his hair you gasp again, as he nips at the edge of your nipple, before enveloping the entire thing.

"I. I'm-" you feel something building inside you, gasping for air.

"Yeah, just from this? Fuck, let go darling, I have you, just-"

You moan as your pleasure crashes over you, panting. He holds you close through it, pressing gentle kisses wherever he can reach. Panting, you come down from your high, hands gripping his shoulder for purchase.

Cheeks warm, you lift your head to look at him, finding his dark eyes trained on you.

"Open your mouth," he whispers, breath fanning over your face. Swallowing, you follow his orders.

"Wider."

You part your mouth even more. Pausing for a heartbeat, his eyes flicker down to your lips, before the corner of his mouth lifts- just barely- the beginnings of a half-smile. Leaning in, he licks into your mouth, muffling your whine. You move to kiss him back, but he sharply draws back.

"Did I say you could do that? Sit on my lap and keep your mouth open, just for me."

Eyes flickering shut, you part your mouth once more, waiting.

"You're such a good girl."

Saliva pools in your mouth as he continues licking, one hand gripping your jaw, palm resting against your neck, to keep you in position- the other slipping under your dress, flirting up your thigh.

Which is exactly how your mother, your aunt, and Lord Grant find the two of you.

♛

Your aunt's shriek pierces the night, causing the two of you to fly apart- well it would've, had Lord Oikawa not held firm on your very naked back. There was certainly no way to misconstrue what was happening here.

Biting your lip to hide a smile, you glance up at Lord Oikawa, who seems shell-shocked.

"What on earth is this! I cannot believe it, this- this is a mistake," your aunt continues, as more people start trailing over, alerted by your aunt's shriek. Your mother rushes over immediately, "Your dress, button up your dress, my god."

Oikawa seems to spring into action at this, sliding his coat off and covering you, ensuring you're completely covered before helping you slide off his lap and stand on your own. As more people crowd around, hushed murmurs and gasps fill the air, the rake strikes again!

The crowd parts as two tall gentlemen make their way.

"What is the issue here-"

"Oho? What indeed is the issue here?"

"Lord Sugawara, Lord Oikawa," the man behind you (still standing so close) begins, before stopping short.

You decide to take over, your plan had worked splendidly, might as well help the man out a little.

"Lord Sugawara, Lord Oikawa," you begin as well, curtseying to the best of your ability in the oversized coat.

Wait. Lord Oikawa?

You whip your head back at the man behind you, and then at the men in front of you.

"Lord Oikawa?" you ask again, hesitantly, and the man beside Lord Sugawara makes a noise of affirmation.

"Tobio-chan, it looks like you've surpassed me and Lord Miya!"

Dread fills you as you realize why Lord Oikawa, no, not-Lord-Oikawa had been speaking in third person and had been so insistent on names.

You turn to your mother, who looks like she's taken to praying, and then back to the man behind- now beside you.

Lord Kageyama.

Thoughts racing, you breathe. No harm done anyway, all you needed was to be ravished- what did it matter if it just so happened to be the quiet boy who had caught your eye six years ago, who had somehow turned into a rake. How did you not recognize him?

"Alright everyone, let's let the family handle this. Back to the ball, off you go," the other Lord Miya's voice cuts through the chatter, and you catch his bemused eye as he winks at you.

Your aunt comes forward, anger visible on her face.

"I will marry her."

Everyone stops.

Lord Kageyama turns to you, " Let's get married."

[determinate-negation]

as one of the foremost psychoanalysis posters on my dash i was wondering if you've heard this account of freud's early career: while treating women for hysteria he found that most of them were assaulted by male family members as children & developed psychological problems as a result (seduction theory?). but his writings on it were unpopular (especially among the wealthy men whose daughters he was treating), so he came up with the oedipus & electra complex as an alternate explanation that let his clients off the hook, instead saying that something just went wrong internally (lundy bancroft called it the beginning of victim-blaming in psychology).

as someone who knows more than i about this field, do you know if there's any accuracy to this story? it seems to imply psychosexual development theory exists to cover up traumatic events, which puts a shaky foundation under any later theories drawing from it, and people often dismiss all of freud & psychoanalysis because of it...

yes its true about the history seduction theory but im not entirely sure if it is as directly correlated to the oedipus complex as it often is thought by critics of freud, and i dont think it invalidates the principles of psychoanalysis as a whole. his correspondence with some other doctors in the 1890s are directly related to seduction theory and you can see that the issue of seduction theory concerned him a lot and he was reluctant to dismiss it but was very influenced by society at the time.

another complicating factor is that much of freuds work was preserved by his daughter anna freud, who was for the most part a conservative force in psychoanalysis both in her own practice and in how she presented his work. a lot of his letters and writings are omitted and edited because of her, including things that show his own ambivalence about certain ideas and how his relationships with other doctors and psychiatrists influenced him to take certain positions.

this article goes into it a bit and you can see the ways that anna freud has influenced our knowledge of freud and a little bit about this period of his studies. i think another thing people really miss when they talk about freud is that so much modern medicine we currently use today came from this time period as well and just as much of the "hard sciences" also came from some things that seem pretty ridiculous and unscientific to us today, and many just outright wrong, but only psychoanalysis is given so much skepticism and criticism.

this is not to defend it, freud was absolutely incorrect in many cases and, contrary to popular views of him, very aware of the limits of his knowledge and the inaccuracies inherent in pioneering any new type of medicine. this especially he emphasizes- that any new science is bound to make errors and be imprecise. freud constantly was reformulating his ideas and made many revisions to psychosexual theory throughout his life, not to mention by all the psychoanalysts who came after him. historically, its not surprising that freud and the other pioneering psychoanalysts, most of them austrian and german jews already occupying an uneasy position, were led to revise some of their more radical discoveries that appeared to threaten turn of the century european society. psychoanalysis was considered extremely shocking and obscene at the time for even venturing to say that sexuality had such a presence in peoples lives, and that people were not moved entirely by reason and rationality (as this was the era of the enlightenment and a lot of optimism about science) so sure its disappointing but not surprising that freud retracted some of his more controversial views. and likely he would not have been as successful if he did not retract them, unfortunately. similarly with some of his writings on bisexuality that seem to point to the idea that there is no natural drive towards heterosexuality and there is no natural form sexuality takes.

the oedipus complex came more from other studies and freuds own self analysis than from seduction theory (to my knowledge at least) freud actually applied the oedipus complex only to young boys initially and has some stuff (that in my opinion holds up fairly well today and is compatible with ideas of construction of sexual and gendered difference we have now) about how young girls only come to the position of seeing the father as a love object after they realize through societal and family norms they are not meant to want the mother and 'unwillingly' (this is how freud and other early psychoanalysts describe it) are forced to identify with the mother and desire the father. freud rejected the idea of a parallel electra complex for women broke with jung over this, among other things.

im very much against this idea of freud as the founder of modern misogyny or the "beginning of victim blaming in psychology." this is a myopic historiography that ignores how radical freuds approach was in comparison with psychology and medical science at the time. most physicians at the time believed that patients hysteric or neurotic symptoms were either signs of a physical organic disease or that they were consciously faking them and in control of them. (why is freud the father of victim blaming and not these doctors?) common treatment would mainly be locking them up to be studied or dubious 19th century surgeries and medical treatments. freud was one of the first to ever propose that hysteric and neurotic patients were not purposefully consciously deciding to do this but unconsciously reacting to something that happened to them, that symptoms represented a patient history that may be unknown or unarticulated to them but could be brought out by associations etc. thus that no symptoms are random or meaningless, all have some psychic significance, and it can be uncovered through analysis. this is the most crucial discovery of psychoanalysis, and although i think it was wrongly applied to seduction theory, he shows it time and again in many of his other clinical studies and interpretation of dreams, and it does not invalidate the whole of psychoanalysis

[cirilla-fiona-riannon]

Galileo Galilei - Side Story 1

Translations may not always capture the exact nuances or tone of the original text. Expect grammatical errors and inaccuracies.

"Even without a guide, the stars continue to rotate"

Man with purple eyes: "What are you doing here?"

Mitsuki: "U-Um, I..."

She suddenly appeared in this distorted fate and in that despair-filled garden.

As I prepared for my lecture at the university office, I recalled the incident that took place yesterday.

(I never expected “that girl” to appear before me.)

That girl, who came from the East, suddenly found herself in a mansion where historical figures who had become vampires lived.

The master of that mansion, a pureblood, revived the men and gave them a second life.

But that girl, upon observation, seemed nothing more than just an ordinary human.

(Did she use the door to come here, or did she simply wander in?)

(In any case, inexplicable things started happening after she appeared.)

(The future, which I saw once using the door, has changed.)

The future had changed after those influential figures revived, and fate started changing even more since that girl appeared.

(Who on earth is that girl?)

At that moment, the voice of a man living with me crossed my mind.

------------Flashback-----------

Drake: “But if you really met her by chance, then maybe that means something.”

Drake: “She might be that woman of destiny, after all.”

---------Flashback Ends--------

(Is it some sort of guidance?)

(But whether there’s causality remains unclear. I need to keep an eye on her.)

I was still lost in thought when someone suddenly knocked on the door.

Galileo: “Come in.”

I turned around, thinking that it was most likely a student who had come to ask a question about the lecture.

Mitsuki: “Excuse me. I’m here to deliver something to Professor Maury.”

(----!)

The girl I was just thinking about was standing right in front of me.

Galileo: "You're the one from yesterday."

She seemed taken aback, as if she didn't expect to meet me again.

Mitsuki: "Um, I…"

Galileo: "How long are you going to stand there? Come in."

As she stepped inside, she bowed her head.

Mitsuki: "I'm Mitsuki. I apologize for intruding into the garden yesterday!"

Mitsuki: "I was walking around town and happened to stumble upon that place."

Galileo: "You're not a student here, are you? So, why are you here today?"

Mitsuki: "I came to the university to see Professor Ayscough and to deliver these documents the president asked me to."

Mitsuki: "I didn't realize you were Professor Maury. So…"

Galileo: "I see. Another coincidence, perhaps."

(Right, considering the possibilities, it's not entirely impossible.)

Professor Ayscough. Isaac Newton was also living in that mansion.

It wouldn't be unnatural for her to come to the university for some business.

It'd be too early to interpret this reunion as guidance or fate, but…

(To begin with, the fact that she stumbled upon that garden seems a bit too convenient.)

(Maybe Drake is right in saying that fate is in motion.)

And am I the one being drawn into it?

(If so, perhaps the "world" is once again trying to deny me.)

(Like my brethren.)

I suppressed the faint surge of frustration welling inside me.

Galileo: "I've received the documents."

Mitsuki: "Then, I'll be going now."

I looked up and asked her a question.

Galileo: "Some say that when coincidences pile up, they become inevitable."

Galileo: "Even turning into destiny."

Galileo: "What do you think?"

She showed a confused expression at my sudden question.

(Even though we're facing each other like this, she still looks like an ordinary human.)

Nevertheless, she looked straight at me and spoke up.

Mitsuki: "Sorry, I don't know how to answer that, but…"

Galileo: "But?"

Mitsuki: "Whether it's coincidence or fate, I think it's up to each person how they perceive and choose to interpret it."

(Up to oneself, huh?)

Galileo: "So, it's up to oneself to govern fate. Is that what you're saying?"

Mitsuki: "I didn't mean to make it sound so dramatic."

I could understand her response.

Humans live through multiple choices, so in that sense, it's up to oneself to carve out their own destiny.

(But I know of a fate that cannot be changed.)

A fate of scorn, of being shunned, and of hopeless despair.

(..........)

As the scenes I've witnessed flashed through my mind, her answer, believing that one can carve out their own destiny, seemed terribly arrogant.

After she left, some students came to visit the office.

Galileo: "Are you suggesting it's fate, then?"

Student: "Professor? Is everything alright?"

Galileo: "It's nothing."

I averted my gaze from the door she exited and turned on my heel.

Galileo: "I'll fulfill my purpose until the end."

(No matter what happens, I've got to make sure I stay out of whatever fate that girl's bringing.)

Even as I held such determination within my heart, her eyes, staring back at me, somehow remained in my mind.

Previous Part ╎ Masterlist ╎ Next Part

[oh1thehorror]

Wrote a silly little fic about my best girl Ito and the trans experience :P I also wanted to explore the friendship between Jekyll and Ito, and Rachel and Ito.

This thing is filled with scientific and historical inaccuracy; it’s not a source of information, it’s a story. But I hope you enjoy because I enjoyed writing it ^^ ♥️

Category: Gen

Fandom: The Glass Scientists (Webcomic)

Relationships: Dr. Henry Jekyll & Virginia Ito, Rachel Pidgley & Virginia Ito

Characters: Virginia Ito, Rachel Pidgley, Dr. Henry Jekyll

Language: English

Word count:3,184

Summary: This won’t do, at all. She needs to investigate a solution to this feeling, naturally. Maybe if she can pinpoint the exact source of perplexity and worry, she can go about systematically and logically eradicating it? Yes, logic always works to help her calm down, just solving the problem like it is a maths equation or a chemical reaction can work wonders.

Wait. A chemical reaction?

//

OR Virginia Ito does some research- with the help of her two friends, Henry and Rachel. She also learns about acceptance along the way.

Can I prick your finger for science? (For self discovery?)

Ito doesn’t know what’s wrong.

She feels it; with every fibre of her being, brutal and cold, hugging at her shoulders and arms and stomach and legs, but she doesn’t know what it is. She’s been scrutinising it in the mirror for at least 10 minutes now- she’s wasting precious time when she should be studying- and she still can’t quite place her finger on it.

After all, there is no way it can be that same feeling of dread she’s been feeling for years, every time she looks in the mirror. No, it can’t, because she’s got long hair now, and everyone calls her Virginia, and ‘she’, and her life’s amazing because she can go out in amazing dresses.

But when she strips it all away, and stands with only soft linen covering her body, she feels something wrong. It makes her shameful, and a hint helpless, and she can’t stop looking at all the things wrong with her body.

Oh. It’s back. It’s stalking her. It’s not going away.

Which is honestly so rude of this feeling, curling itself dully in her stomach, trying to make her feel horrible about her body. How dare her mind play tricks on her and tell her she isn’t a woman? when she’s so clearly standing in front of the mirror, with shoulder length hair and a soft smile and a closet of warm colours that skirt her ankles.

This won’t do, at all. She needs to investigate a solution to this feeling, naturally. Maybe if she can pinpoint the exact source of perplexity and worry, she can go about systematically and logically eradicating it? Yes, logic always works to help her calm down, just solving the problem like it is a maths equation or a chemical reaction can work wonders.

Wait. A chemical reaction?

Of course, if the source the feeling stems from is this uncomfortableness in her own skin, is the doubt that she is really a girl because she looks like a boy beneath the layers of cotton and padding, then the solution would be to modify some part of her to change that, would it not? And is the human body not just a cluster of chemical reactions? Surely there was something organic that meant she was born this way, with spindly arms and a disappointingly flat chest, and differentiated her biologically from, say, Rachel? Right, and in such a case, all she would have to do is understand this compound to manufacture it artificially, and, in theory, once she’d prevented the compound in her body right now that made her look this way, and replaced it with said compound, it would work?

It seems too far-fetched, and Ito is a chemist, not a biologist. But then again, a society for rogue science seemed too far-fetched and yet here she was. What could she truly call impossible anymore?

//

“Doctor Jekyll?”

“Please, call me Henry.” He smiles at her, calm and practised, that same smile he’d given her the day he took her hand and led her to this palace of wonder. “Can I ask you a question?” She starts, looking up from the old notes he’d shown her, staring at him across the phials lined in metal on the table, one or two bubbling with some mediocre experiment she’d sought after to keep her excitement momentarily distracted.

“Of course you can, Ito.”

“You’re a biologist, right?” She approaches the subject cautiously, like she’d learnt to over the years, after the rejection and disgust of her own people, frowning in some places over her conduct towards the incoming topic, of the eagerness to change into something they thought her not. But they are gone now- and despite England itself being so uninviting too- something tells her, maybe, she can find peace here.

“I have studied biology and medicine, this is correct.” Henry raises a tentative eyebrow, as if contemplating her words, and what she may ask of him.

“Well…I’ve been thinking.” Pause.

“This is the perfect place for that, go ahead.” His ease relaxes her shoulders slightly, but there’s still the edge of fear about what he might do when she next asks, “This is an absurd topic,” Ito prefaces hastily, nerves getting the better of her.

“We’re rogue scientists, I’m sure it’s not too absurd.”

“But, say a..if a man wanted to appear as a woman- likewise, a woman wanted to appear as a man- and by this I mean, sound like, feel like, look like; is there, hypothetically speaking, some sort of biological chemical which differentiates the two and could potentially be…replaced?”

Henry studies her face carefully for a moment after she’s finished speaking. She cannot bring herself to meet his eyes, lest she find disgust or anger there like she had so many months ago, but she is certainly aware of his measured movements, of the stiff way he gives her his full attention and places his hands on the desk. Hot shame flushes her cheeks and regret roils inside of her, threatening to tear open her heart.

But then, respite, as he sighs softly. “Yes, I suppose.” Henry explains carefully, taking a seat opposite her. It’s all Ito can do to keep her breath from catching and her hands still. She glances up at Henry (mentor, kind of saviour, friend), and studies his eyes for a moment or two to find no hate all- surprisingly- just confusion and some concern.

“Biologically speaking, development of gendered characteristics begins when a child comes of age- when their body begins producing amounts of substances called hormones. Female hormones produce the desired effects of a woman’s body and emotion. Male hormones produce a deeper voice, more hair, a difference in emotion- anything that is different between me and you, is different because of the levels of each of these chemicals in our bodies. However, Ito, there is not much more I can tell you about them. They are a fairly new discovery, with very little knowledge surrounding the subject.”

Silence befalls them when Henry finishes talking, and Ito thinks on his words for a while. Soon, the atmosphere grows awkward, stiflingly so, and she can feel the way Henry’s gaze worries over her with healing curiosity.

“Forgive me for asking,” he clears his throat, voice stilted, weary. “What sort of research do you plan on undergoing?”

“I’m studying change.” Ito replies, somewhat uneasily.

“Change how?”

She panics, glancing away and racking her mind for the best way to explain. So far, and by his reaction, Henry has in no real way given her reason to worry at all, or let the feeling of her stomach roiling with fear latch itself to her. It infects her now, though, like growing disease, and she really dreads her downfall if she so much as opens her mouth.

“My hair wasn’t always this long.” She murmurs softly, a hand instinctively hovering near her hairdo. She meets his eyes begrudgingly, if somewhat fearful, and begs him silently to understand what she means. The last time she said it out loud, a world seemed to end.

Henry opens his mouth as if to press further, ask again because he didn’t quite understand. But then, she spies understanding dawning in his eyes like resolute kindness, and he nods gently, some semblance of a reassurance playing the smile on his lips. Something eases in Ito’s chest, like the world has lifted its fear from her shoulders.

“I see.” Is what he says next. “I won’t pry. But..” He looks like he’s contemplating something for a moment or two. Ito holds her breath, waits for ‘but I wouldn’t want you in the Society anymore’ or ‘but such conduct is improper and you’ll always be a male beneath it all.’ What she gets is; “You’re safe here. And so is your secret with me, if you want me to keep it.”

“Please do.” She answers hurriedly, anxiety still ebbing at her skin, she’s so sure her ears are deceiving her.

Again, Henry gives her a nod and that smile. “For what it is, you are a really courageous young lady, Virginia. And I’d hate for anyone to harm you so, if you find yourself ever in trouble, please don’t be afraid to speak to me.”

Ito lets out a shuddering breath at that, and the last whispers of panic fall away like snow sliding from glass. Henry’s smile is genuine, and that seeps out into his words, the way he looks at her like he means what he has said. Ito cannot seem to comprehend it, but at the same time, what is there to imagine?

“Thank you.” She feels something like tears blur her eyes and wipes them away hurriedly. ‘Lady.’ She seems to realise belatedly, as she sits there and looks at him. ‘He called me a lady.’ Her heart skips a beat, and then Henry chuckles slightly, getting up from his seat and returning to his work. “You’re very welcome, Virginia. I wish you the best of luck in your research and change. I’m sure you’ll do some marvellous things.”

Previously, Ito had convinced herself- ever since that fated day she left Japan and never looked back at the faces of the ‘family’ who hated her- that she would not rely on the validation of others for her comfort or happiness; that she was a woman no matter whatever anyone said or did or called her. She still retains that sentimentality, of course, but Henry’s words loosened something against her heart.

It felt good to be seen for who she really was.

//

Her mentor’s words had left her puzzled, she will admit. The substance she was looking for certainly existed biologically, but contemporary discovery meant that there was very little information on it, despite her searching for hours in local libraries for any type of biological papers on the topic. It made Ito somewhat distraught and her patience thin in some places, but the prior feeling of dread that had her so disgusted with herself had dulled down to manageable, so at least that was a plus.

Her excitement had been insatiable so that she sprung to work as soon as she could, grabbing her cloak and making for the libraries on foot, after she’d assessed every book on human biology available within the Society itself. The walk had served another purpose too; Henry’s reassurances had left her head reeling oh so delighted, but paranoia had followed it and some good old, polluted air was in order to clear her thoughts.

It hadn’t done much; perhaps given her space for a few epiphanies, none of which she could really claim because most of her walk was just the numb thought of hiding herself, of the way Henry had reacted with the most genuine attitude, of whether or not he meant it at all and she was truly safe.

This was proving quite difficult. Perhaps it would be safest for her to fall back on that mentality; if Jekyll did tell the other Lodgers (she doubts he would, inside, he’s too kind-), and they all gave her difficulty for it; well, it wasn’t new to her, was it? Would it hurt like her ‘family’? She doubts it, with how new this all is to her. Alas, no matter their reaction, she’d stick to her ideology through the thick and thin of it; once it came down to it, Ito didn’t need anyone to love herself.

As she traverses the hallways of the Society, back up the winding steps to her laboratory, she spots Henry midway to her room, walking somewhat briskly. For a moment, Ito is shocked (she’s not sure why; he is the leader of this place, after all- it’s only natural for the man to be working), but then she regains her composure and he waves warmly at her. “Good afternoon, Virginia. Is your research going well?”

“Well, not…I don’t have much information.” She replies, trying to avoid stuttering as her thoughts slot appropriately and calmly back into a coherent fashion. The way he treated her, his words, the distinct calmness in his voice of speaking to a friend made it impossible to think that she had worried over him betraying her like that. He did, after all, vow to her safety. (Who's to say he’ll be the only one like this? Is there good to this world?)

“Then you get your own information.” He reassures, and Ito’s mind stills, focuses solely on her project. He’s right; this is her passion and she won’t spend it worrying away about the possible perceptions of herself from others. “Is that not what rogue science is?” She finishes, not missing a single beat.

Henry smiles at her. ‘Yes.’ She thinks. ‘Acceptance is possible.’

//

Exasperated, but with newfound energy, Ito pushes open the door to her lab, fingers already coming up to frantically undo the broach holding her cloak around her shoulders.

She hisses in abrupt pain as something pinches her finger, and when she draws back, there is red beading at the very tip of her forefinger. It seems she was too frantic, because now she is bleeding lightly.

Ito rolls her eyes, sucking on the blood flow to stop it whilst she hangs her cloak up. Then, she walks over to her desk, arrayed with notes and the stray pages of copied out biology papers, a few phials nested amongst them.

Hold on. Blood.

She draws her finger back expectantly, and frowns down at it for a moment before something clicks. Of course! Blood transports every substance in the human body one way or another, and therefore must include hormones. The logical solution would be to study the reactions of human blood to distil it and gain a better understanding of the substance hidden within it.

Ito takes a clean phial and holds it under the running drip of her pricked finger, letting some of the liquid gather enough so she can test it.

Now, she wonders; will blood from other people breed the same results as her own?

//

“Rachel!” Ito calls out, hurrying down the corridor as she spots the day manager, strolling about. Rachel looks up with a confused squint of her eyes, and then smiles when she clocks Ito’s excitable figure walking towards her.

“Hello Virginia, I trust your day is going well.”

“Why yes, thank you. It quite is; it’s going fairly better because you’re just the person I need right now.”

Ito swears Rachel looks a hint nervous at her words, something red at her cheeks. It’s only faint. “I see. What would you need me for?”

“Can I prick your finger?” Ito asks, without quite thinking it through, far too excited about the breakthrough she’s looking for. If Henry’s previous words are anything to go by, to study the differences between what makes a female and a male, she’d need a sample or two of blood that wasn’t hers. And Rachel had been one of the kindest people to her since she’d arrived. And this really didn’t seem like a crazy request. Nope.

Mmhmm.

Oops.

Rachel gives her a weary look at this, eyes scrunching slightly at the corners. She seems slightly taken aback and yet not too surprised. “You want to prick my finger? For?”

“A blood sample; I’m researching something.” Ito beams, trying not to let embarrassment consume her, though she’s sure her cheeks are burning scarlet.

“Well,” Rachel blinks, and it seems to fall into place, now. Perhaps she was used to this sort of request from the other Lodgers? “I certainly prefer that wording…what are you researching?”

“Change.” Ito replies as easily and steadily as she could. She’s not wrong; it’s what she’d told Henry. But she doesn’t quite want this to escalate like that conversation had- not yet at least. Not from paranoia or anxiety but…she doesn’t know. It’s ok.

“The changes in biological structure.” She finishes, explaining away the blush on her cheeks somewhat proudly. Rachel chuckles softly. ���I see. Well, yes, I suppose you can prick my finger.”

Ito gives a nod of thanks. “But Ito, please, next time just ask for a blood sample.”

Virginia blinks owlishly. “Asking someone to prick their finger is so much more fun.”

Rachel rolls her eyes in mock annoyance but there is no real hint of the emotion there.

Ito’s heart flutters at the encounter. With time, she finds that perhaps, she can tell Rachel.

//

“Henry…” Ito greets her mentor, one morning over a cup of tea, with the sweetest smile she could possibly muster because she’ll be very close to figuring this out and cannot contain her hope. Also, because she loves making Henry confused but unrelated.

Henry lifts an eyebrow in confusion. “Virginia?” He prompts cautiously, placing his teacup back on its saucer. The ceramic clinks against itself. “I have a request.”

“This early in the day?” Henry huffs lightheartedly, “What would you like?”

“Can I prick your finger? For science?” Ito doesn’t give herself time to hesitate, holds up a finger innocently in demonstration and stares Henry down.

He stares back, eyes wide in half suprise, but honestly, what was he expecting? “Pardon me, please rephrase that?”

“I would like a blood sample…for my research.” Ito elaborates, sheepishly shrugging her shoulders and lowering her hands.

“Well,” Henry sighs, his familiar smile making home on his lips. “Certainly an odd way to ask.”

“You and Rachel are no fun.” Ito informs him as he goes back to sipping his tea.

“Yes, yes. You can have a blood sample, Miss Ito.”

//

Ito is sure she’s spent more time than strictly necessary and healthy in close proximity to her desk, writing out notes and observations, so much so that it’s maybe the early hours of the morning.

Her lab, and herself, right now, are not the prettiest of things they could be; dyes staining the cuffs of her dress shirt- she’ll keep this one for experiments, she supposes; table scattered with filter parchment and observation reports; frantic notes scribbled into her book in hopes of her groundbreaking discovery.

She is right on its door- so much so that she can feel the end of her days dreading her dress, or her hair, or the mirror. It’s at her fingertips now, with distilled blood smeared over pages and dyed to identify the substances.

She’s pinned the chemical structure, the slight differences between female and male. The blurred line in between is tangible. Anything like this is tangible, truly: all she needs is the correct chemicals, varying amounts of carbon and water and phosphates, the make-up of her wants.

What she’s really missing is none of that; just to scrutinise it long enough until all her pieces fall together in the puzzle, slot into a wider picture and give her the right scope.

Bingo.

‘Well,’ She thinks, as it all lines up and the melody flourishes with the final shift in view and recipe. ‘This- change- is who I am.’

Ito smiles. It’s maybe the widest she’d ever smiled. She can’t wait to tell Henry.

[scummy-writes]

I'm going to talk about Constance for a minute, and while I could do this on her blog, this was moreso concerning the characters in the universe rather than *just* strictly Constance. I was kinda hoping for opinions that didn't stomp all over the idea but to help make it work instead.

I've debated on her selective mutism for a while, I at least decided to keep it a vague 'difficulties talking' in general for her in the meantime. One of the things holding me back is that one of the ways Gilbert ends up being 'easy' for her to talk to in ways, is because of sign language.

It's. difficult to explain, but some reasons for this would have been 'nobility have more time and resources, they would be able to learn something like sign language.' and that makes a lot of sense to me, right? Because my thought process was along the lines of how those who have to constantly work most of the day to survive, they wouldn't really have the luxary/time for such things unless it strongly impacted their life in a way. Instead they'd make do, with paper and other gestures.

Aside from likely huge historical inaccuracies based off of that, even if that were the case, it still leads issues to who knows it and who wouldn't know it. Because in Constance's story, I have it to where Chev and Gil know it, but someone like Rio, who has been close to her for years, does not...? And that seems odd to me.

(That, and now that I think further on it, I feel like Clavis would know it too.)

My first jump is 'well wouldnt they all know it?" but then I feel like it wouldnt impact Nokto or Jin or some of the others as much as it could impact someone like Clavis or Sariel knowing it? I could even make an excuse as to why Silvio would know it as well.

So then why would Rio, who is following the same level as normal Rio since Constance is mainly an Mc replacement at this point, *not* learn sign language, if he didn't already? He's a good dude who is hopelessly devoted to friends/loved ones- if he thought it would ease some burden for a close friend, why wouldn't he?

Would he listen, if she asked him not to learn it due to her being worried about the difficulty of it? Because Constance likely learned from Akatsuki and possibly thought it was a burden if he struggled with it a bit. Or she learned from someone else in the town, and it was clear there were a lot of struggles with her learning it.

I feel like even if asked, he wouldn't listen, unless it was a harsh argument, but then he'd still learn it in secret? I cannot come up with a good reason of why he wouldn't know it.

[boghermit]

Pointing Out the Historical Inaccuracies (and Some Accuracies) of Ridley Scott's Napoleon 🤓

The only interesting parts of this film are the costumes, and maybe one or two music tracks. The rest of the movie is just awful. The story can hardly be called a story. It's just miscellaneous boring scenes duct taped together. None of the characters are developed beyond a single trait, if that. A period this broad shouldn't have been crammed into a movie this short. I honestly wouldn't have disliked the historical inaccuracy so much if it had been sacrificed for the sake of a good narrative, but this is bad. Even if you don't know about the era enough to nitpick it, I wouldn't recommend this film to anyone.

TL;DR go watch Waterloo or The Duelists instead.

Accurate Historical Details

There were some minor details that made me perk up like, "Ah, yes! It did happen like that!" The rest of the movie is so inaccurate that these details stuck out.

Napoleon tugged on peoples' ears as a sign of affection. You see this in the movie with Tallyrand and Josephine. He also did this a lot with his soldiers, which we don't see in the film. In fact, he doesn't interact with his soldiers much at all in the film.

The French fired a 101-cannon salute after Napoleon's first son was born.

Napoleon famously bumbled at the Coup of 18 Brumoire, and his brother Lucien had to step in to direct the French grenadiers.

It's contested whether or not Robespierre actually shot himself in the jaw, but I think at this point it's mostly accepted as truth? In any case, someone screwed up his jaw before he was arrested.

The British loved publishing political cartoons about Napoleon, including cartoons of him being cucked.

Joséphine did actually meet Tsar Alexander shortly before her death. I didn't know about this one and was happy to learn something new.

The depictions of line and square formations were okay.

Historical Inaccuracies

This is, in spite of its budget, one of most historically inaccurate pieces of media I've seen on the era, and on top of that it isn't even good.

There is so much historical context omitted from this film that I feel like anyone who doesn't have an interest in the time period will have NO idea what's going on. You are never really given the how and why of history other than "the Europeans are fighting and also Napoleon is there."

The overall characterization of Napoleon is just bizarre. Napoleon was smart, egotistical, ambitious, hot-tempered, and had a magnetic charisma and human charm that inspired a kind of blind loyalty in his soldiers. This is why he was so successful - and so dangerous. Napoleon never feels threatening or sinister in this film. He's just kind of there, slouching and sweating and mumbling under his breath as history unfolds. Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure does a better job of depicting Napoleon than whatever the hell is going on here.

Napoleon was not present at the beheading of Marie-Antoinette.

He didn't have his horse shot out from under him at Toulon, and he didn't send gore-spattered cannonballs to his mother, as far as I know.

The movie casts a younger actress to play Joséphine de Beauharnais, but Joséphine was actually older than Napoleon.

I'm pretty sure that Napoleon didn't find and return the sword of Joséphine's ex-husband, although there is a legend stating that he attempted to confiscate it and was persuaded by Joséphine's son to return it.

The French army never shot their cannons at the Pyramids in Egypt. They also didn't loot the Pyramids, although they participated in a lot of heinous looting elsewhere.

Napoleon didn't leave Egypt because he found out he was being cucked by his wife - he'd already known about that for some time. He left Egypt because the campaign was failing and because the political situation in France was becoming untenable.

Jacques-Louis David attended the coronation of Napoleon, but didn't start his studies for the painting during the coronation itself. (At least as far as I know.)

The lake scene during the Battle of Austerlitz is a bit of a legend, but probably not true. The gigantic lake was more likely a series of shallow ponds, if it existed at all.

Napoleon did not lead cavalry charges, and he sure as shit didn't lead cavalry charges at the Battles of Borodino or Waterloo. In fact, Napoleon infamously sat a safe distance away while watching the bloody Battle of Borodino unfold.

Napoleon was not exiled following the Russian campaign. He was exiled after the War of the Sixth Coalition, in 1814.

Joséphine died in 1814, when Napoleon was still at Elba, not in 1815.

Trench warfare and scoped muskets were not used at the Battle of Waterloo.

Napoleon never met the Duke of Wellington.

That's uh. The cut version of my complaints.

[moonliightings]

indigenous rep in modern media sucks and we really need to talk about it.

trigger warnings include: rape, violence, abuse, slurs, and general bigotry against native people

let’s start with the most (in)famous example of indigenous rep in modern film: pocahontas.

pocahontas is the most prominent modern native character and she is terrible, terrible representation. if you’re a part of the native community, i’m sure you’ve already heard of this. but in case you’re not aware, pocahontas is based on a real girl named montauke who was only 11-12 when she was taken from her home, raped. abused, and later forced into marriage with john rofle who she even had a child with. pocahontas was not even her real name, it was a nickname. disney took this story and turned it into a love story between a native girl and her colonizer. even if it wasn’t based on a true story, it’s still incredibly disrespectful and set many terrible stereotypes for native peoples and characters that are still present in modern media.

here is an article on the historical inaccuracies of pocahontas - https://www.theindigenousfoundation.org/articles/the-true-story-behind-disneys-pocahontas

now let’s move onto the general problems pocahontas created for not only native characters, but native people in real life.

pocahontas sends a bad message to not only young native girls, but all people of color by romanticizing a relationship between a woman of color and her oppressor. i’m aware this trope was around before pocahontas, but it was popularized by this movie, and the effects of it are still around to this day. popular examples of this trope are —

the second big problem with this movie is it’s portrayal of natives. the character of pocahontas is basically a walking “magical native” stereotype who talks to animals and communicates with spirits. it’s also important to note how the designs were clearly designed by a bunch of white men who probably did little to no research on natives. sadly i’m not surprised because this isn’t the first time disney has done natives wrong. i’ll save that for another post though.

now let’s get to the sexualization of pocahontas. as i said in my last point, pocahontas was clearly drawn by white men. pocahontas is hardly 18 in this movie yet she’s drawn as a typical white mans fantasy. she has big lips, curves, and long flowing hair. she has next to no native features of the time. of course natives features can vary, but her design makes absolutely no sense considering the conditions and living state of natives in the 1600’s. this is already bad enough on it’s own, but it’s especially bad considering the true story of montauke. a girl who was raped was romanticized and turned into a sex symbol centuries later…

one of the other effects of pocahontas i don’t see many people talk about is how it popularized halloween costumes of native culture (where the sexualization continues). do i even have to explain why this is terrible? OUR CULTURE IS NOT HALLOWEEN COSTUMES AND WE ARE NOT ITEMS FOR YOU TO JERK OFF TO.

last but not least, let’s talk about how it affects natives in general. as a native person, i have been compared to pocahontas my whole life. it’s easy to write it off as harmless jokes or remarks, but i believe we should call this behavior out. these “jokes” are not only in horrible taste, but they’re deeply harmful to the indigenous community. the name “pocahontas” is one of the most common insults for native people.

all this stems from one film, a glamorized & romanticized adaptation of a real girl’s story. to even call it an “adaptation” is a stretch. this film is an insult to the indigenous community and everything our ancestors went through.

[winniethewife]

I heard the voices of friends vanished and gone (Abel Morales X GN!reader)

Week 5: Struggles

Warnings: AIDS epidemic, Talk of Illness, Talk of death, Angst, probably some historical inaccuracies,

A/n: For @romanarose 's Pride event!

Words: 981

Abel walked into their home after a long day at the office. He was expecting to see his partner sitting in the living room, reading the evening paper or pehaps curled up with a good book. But not tonight, tonight he walks into chaos, their suit case in the living room half full of their things. He felt a thudding in his chest. What was happening, had he fucked something up? He set his brief case down and called out their name, walking quickly though the house to find them.

“Darling?” He poked his head into their bedroom to find them sitting on the couch with their head in their hands crying. Abel went straight into fix it mode.  “What’s wrong, Talk to me.”

“I-Its Danny, he’s sick…He found…Lesions.” They looked at Abel, tears streaking down their face. Danny Their brother, The only family they had left. Abel tried to figure out what they meant. He took their hand in his and ran his thumb over their knuckles. That’s when it dawned on him.

“No…Not…Oh god…Danny.” Abel closed his eyes in dismay. The headlines flashing across his mind, everything he had read about AIDS, how many were dying. He had never really thought about it before Danny had come out of the closet, He had figured what people did in their own lives was up to them, not him.

“He’s in the hospital in Philly, I need to…Abel he’s all alone…” They looked up at him with tears in their eyes. Abel knew then and there.

“Okay get our bags packed I’ll call the office and I’ll get the car ready.” He pressed a kiss to the side of their head and stood up to do what he said, but he felt their hand around his. He looked back at them, worried there was more.

“Thank you.” They said softly.

“Of course…Danny’s family… We can’t leave him alone.”

~

The two hour drive was torture. There was no way to get an update until they got to the hospital, they had rung the hospital before they had left to let Danny know they were coming, But every minute was torture. They looked out the window, tapping a nervous rhythm on her leg, the music on the radio doing little to sooth their nerves. Abel looked over at them for a second before looking back at the road. He had, no idea how to comfort them, because for every comforting thing he could think to say, there was a voice in the back of his mind saying “You know that’s not true.”  with a statistic or news article headline to back it up with evidence, which just lead to a long silent drive.

“He’s going to die Abel.” They softly said. The first thing he wanted to say was that they didn’t know that for sure, or that there had to be something they could do, but yet again, the fact was, there was no research to back that up, only a rising death count.

“I…I know. I’m so sorry darling.” He said gently as he put his hand on their thigh. Tears started to fall down their face again. They were glad for Abel’s stubborn need to be honest right then. The idea of hearing the typical comforting phrases right then was atrocious. They looked over at Abel, taking in his sharp features and focused gaze. They felt overwhelmingly grateful for everything that he was doing, taking time away from work, driving all the way to Philadelphia, being there for them in their time of need.

“Thank you Abel.” She smiles at him through the tears, He looks at her for a second before focusing on the road, gently squeezing their thigh again in response.

~

Abel stood outside the Hospital room listening to the doctor ramble on and on, while they sat by Danny’s bedside. It was obvious that this hospital wasn’t equipped for this, or were too prejudiced to give a damn.  He had been shocked when they got there how bad Danny looked. He was sickly pale and thin as a pole, he barely looked like the man Abel had met many times over the years. Abel listened to the doctor talk about the treatments they had tried and how they were unequipped and that they might do better if they took Danny to a better hospital. It felt like the doctor was doing everything but right out saying “Make this queer someone else’s problem.” Abel Nodded along occasionally glancing over at his partner. They were sitting in the chair next to Danny’s bedside and holding his hand, dirty looks from the nurses be dammed, this is Danny, their brother, the one person they could trust with everything.

“I’ll handle it, thank you doctor.” Abel muttered before going in the room. He put a hand on their shoulder bringing their focus on him. “I’m going call the hospitals near us and find out who can take Danny, He deserves the best doctors. I’ll pay for it.” Abel said with authority, this wasn’t something they were supposed to argue with, he had already made up his mind. They nodded. They felt like they should say something, show how thankful they are for him figuring this out, for doing everything he can, but they can’t seem to find the right words. As Abel pressed a kiss to the side of their face and took a moment to reach out and touch Danny’s blanket covered sleeping form, they knew one thing. This was something they would never forget. Even in the years to come, when Danny was gone, when they would start an organization in his name, when they would fight alongside many just like him for their rights, they would remember everything that Abel did to save Danny despite the inevitable.

They could never repay him

They never had to.

~

Masterlist

Taglist: @romanarose @silvernight-m @queerponcho @boredzillenial

[hero-of-crefeld]

I just read this article and I couldn't calm down out of joy. We all know what's going to happen to John in the upcoming books, but it seems David is (finally) stepping up to the main ranks and getting the scenes he deserves. And it's going to be great!!!

„One of the great confluences of these rivers in season seven is the love triangle of Claire, Jamie and Lord John Grey (David Berry). Both Claire and John love Jamie "desperately and passionately," Roberts says. "There are so many layers and dynamics between these three people, and this season it'll definitely come to a head. I think a lot of people will fall in love with John again."

For her part, Davis says, "I cannot wait for everyone to see David Berry's performance in season seven. He's outstanding. He just kills it in this role, especially this season. He's really stepped it up."

Perhaps his performance this season will help seal the deal on the long-gestating idea of a Lord John spinoff. "Just speaking for myself, I think the Lord John series is a no-brainer," Davis says. "I would love to see that series. The books are great, and he's such an interesting character."

OMG! ❤️

Full article link:

https://www.emmys.com/news/features/onward-outlander

LOVE your blog! 🥰

Thank you so much for sending this, anon! <3

Here's a direct link to the article for anyone who wants to read it: https://www.emmys.com/news/features/onward-outlander

I apparently had many thoughts on the subject, so the rest is under the cut. :D

I have to begin with: hell yes people are going to fall in love with John! The character is so interesting, and although I find it a bit tedious that we often sometimes only get to see him as this lovesick dude who conveniently shows up to solve Jamie’s problems, I think the show actually does a decent job of portraying him. Because he’s the character you want to know more about. In a show where you have so many characters, he is the one that kind of feels like a main character even though he isn’t one. He feels nuanced and you get a sense of him actually living his life in between making appearances in the show. And that’s something I don’t necessarily get with a lot of the other characters. (Okay, I may be super biased but still!)

Introducing him more firmly into the main story through a love triangle is a good way of at least getting more LJG in our lives. I hope they change the story a bit and tone down homophobic-punches-John-in-the-face Jamie, and I think they will, since they’ve done a great job in making Jamie less conservative in other aspects, too. With regards to what happens later with John, I wonder how much they plan to include in the show. But whatever they do, I hope they don’t run through a million things in a half-assed way and then just go “anyway, that situation resolved itself, don’t worry about it.” But we’ll see.

In any case, it makes me so happy to know that there is support for an LJG spinoff! It’s so true that there is good material to draw from if they were to make it, and I think it would be really great to get a historical show that had an LGBTQ+ main character. But simultaneously, I have to admit that my expectation for such a show would be sky-high, and I would probably throw a tantrum at the smallest historical inaccuracy. (So they’d better do their research unlike DG…) I know it’s historical fiction, but it can be accurate and entertaining. (Fun take, I know) My expectations would anyway be really high because David Berry deserves the world, and that includes flawlessly written shows where he is the main character.

And speaking of David. Oh my god, anon, when I read the words “I cannot wait for everyone to see David Berry's performance in season seven. He's outstanding. He just kills it in this role, especially this season. He's really stepped it up.” my heart skipped a beat. Like I don’t have praise kink, I have a ‘praise David Berry’ kink. I cannot even begin to describe how wonderful it is to read those words. He deserves it so much. I don’t even know what to say… I just… I don’t even know. Like he doesn’t seem like the most confident person in the world, so it makes me so indescribably happy to read about people explicitly saying that he’s amazing. And also the fact that there is talk of a spinoff shows that there is sooo much love not just for Lord John but for David as well. He is the perfect LJG. My heart is so full, anon! So full! And I absolutely get why you can’t calm down out of joy, because hard same!!!

[racefortheironthrone]

I'm not as upset as some by inaccuracies in entertainment based on historical events, but in real life Queen Charlotte wasn't Black, right?

There is a theory out there about Charlotte having African ancestry and/or "African features," but it's mostly held by this one particular guy who's a historian of the African diaspora, it's not widely accepted, and even then de Valdes' argument is that Charlotte's African heritage came from a Portuguese royal marriage some 300 years previously - whether a 21st century observer would consider her black is pretty unlikely and really depends on how much credence you're willing to put into a few hostile observers' comments that were (in my opinion) just using racist sterotypes to insult Queen Charlotte rather than accurately describing what she looked like.

If you're asking about Bridgerton and it's spinoff, I think this is a case where the showrunners know that they're building off this theory to create essentially an alternate history where Queen Charlotte and a number of other aristocrats are black, and those characters frequently discuss what it means to be black and trying to rise in British society, and so on. This creative decision raises some tricky questions. On the one hand, there are real issues when it comes to representation on TV and ensuring that BAME actors in the UK have equal opportunity in their careers given the prominence of period pieces in British film and television. And ultimately, color-blind casting is completely harmless - the 2021 Green Knight movie was some of the best Arthuriana ever made, and no one cared or should care that Dev Patel isn't a white Welsh guy.

On the other hand, as various black critics and commentators have noted, Bridgerton et al. isn't a case of color-blind casting, but rather of color-conscious casting, where the actors' race is a significant element of the plot. And this raises some potentially troubling issues about whether making a TV show about elite black aspiration and upward mobility in 18th century Britain can be squared with Britain's history of slavery and the slave trade and the very real discrimination faced by black Britons in this period. For example, the real Queen Charlotte notably ignored abolitionist petitions directed at her, and was pretty harshly (and ironically, through some rather racist political cartoons) criticized for not partaking in the anti-slavery boycott of sugar. There was even a slave ship called the Queen Charlotte. Is this history sympatico with a portrayal of Charlotte as a racial trailblazer in British society? How one weighs the relative importance of these issues to TV shows that are ultimately adaptations of romance novels more focused on Regency handjobs than the nuances of 18th century social history is a question that's ultimately above my pay grade, and I feel it's more appropriate for me to listen to what said black critics have to say (incidentally, let me recommend the YouTuber Princess_Weeks, who has some very good video essays on the subject).

[needlesandnilbogs]

4, 26, and 30 for the ask game? 🥰

4: a story idea you haven't written yet

... most story ideas I write down whatever comes to me and work on it for as long as I keep my interest up, usually that's a few paragraphs or so? I don't think I really have "things I haven't written" so much as "things I've started and want to finish eventually" lol. I guess the closest thing is the "just a name for the au and a note on the plot or a single sentence" stuff?

... at least for murderbot. I have a lot more discrete ideas with no words for city spies like the superhero alternate universe that @fishyupmywishy and I considered for a while (can't dig through discord dms for all of this but clementine was a hero turned supervillain named Queen Orange (now Dark Orange) and Paris had a chess theme), "#giveMontyAGirlfriend2k23" (monty/magpie shipfic), and a mirror universe.

One day I will write all of these. I swear. also I absolutely do not have an au problem shut up

------

26: are you able to write with other people around?

I write everywhere. Very often on my phone, very often when I'm around other people. so yeah.

also I write in linear algebra bc the professor doesn't teach so I'm only showing up for the attendance grade. and in the dishroom when it's quiet and nobody's doing any actual work. so.

the fanfic brain rot is real okay

------

30: share a fic you're especially proud of

I did this one earlier but in the interest of practicing being able to talk about my stuff without falling apart in embarrassment, here is a different fic I am proud of: Preserving the Mines, aka what happens when an adhd person raised by historians hyperfixates on 1854 sacramento for a month and then gets really into it. aka what if murderbot and company were gold miners during the second gold rush. (read the tags and keep an eye on the content warnings. it does deal with slavery and the aftermath of the Perkins case)

Since I shared something at most half related when Stars asked this number last time I'm going to share a fun note from my "research" aka do you want to hear about one of the few historical inaccuracies in the fic: the location of the Preservation mining camp.

they should not be hanging around Paradise Beach because there's no gold there nor is it a good place to camp, but there they are bc this is a site I can imagine the physical features of fairly easily. also this is a public river beach now known for both nudity and drowning, things mb would hate.

I have way more stuff about this au I never posted, I should go back to writing 1854 overse's diaries and 1854 mensah's letters to her parents and share some of those eventually lol

[whartonists]

That thing about Netflix, the BBC, and ITV all considering banning corsets from period dramas is making me think again about an interview I read a while ago with Louisa Jacobson, which really struck me at the time: she mentions that she asked the costumers to tight-lace her at her first fitting, and then was stuck with that throughout much of the rest of the filming of season one. Apparently the corset was so tight it bruised her ribs.

I have two points to make about this, which are:

a) The costumers should have never let her do that. I do not know who was doing this fitting, but considering the fact that she plays a main character on the show I assume it was either Kasia Walicka-Maimone herself or a very high-up assistant, and the fact that they did not point out to her that lacing down to a rib-bruising extent would be uncomfortable and unsafe is completely ridiculous. Costume designers wear a variety of hats, but one of their roles is to create garments that will be functional on set and on screen, and I would consider this to be acute incompetence on the part of Walicka-Maimone and her team. (We know from behind the scenes photos that they also do not have her wear a chemise or even a tank top underneath her corset, which only furthers my opinion of their basic incompetence in clotheing actors comfortably and responsibly.)

b) Which leads directly into my other point, which is that the problem with the myths around corsetry--that corsets are, fundamentally, meant to be uncomfortable, and that their primary purpose is to decrease the waist measurement--are not only annoying historical inaccuracies but are causing active damage to actors. If actors--many of whom already have very little body fat to begin with--go into costume fittings expecting to decrease their waist measurement and costumers are too uninformed and incompetent to counteract this, then of course they are going to be uncomfortable. (I am specifically mentioning actors and costumers here, but there could certainly also be influences from directors and other people involved.)

I feel like this is a case where historical accuracy in costuming is not only a matter of aesthetics and authenticity (both of which I think are very important), but also of very basic and practical comfort and safety of actual people playing these roles. If costume designers don’t understand the form and function of historical clothing and undergarments--including not only corsets but also things like hip and bust padding that create shape and form (and tiny-looking waists) without tightlacing--then they will (and do, apparently) put actors in danger of not just discomfort but actual injury.

[thelegendofchocolate]

König HC part 1/? - Name/Background

Alright! I've fully committed to the cringe! Imma share with y'all my König hcs let's go!

Part 1 - Name/Background

First off!

General info:

Name: Konrad

Nationality: Austrian-German

6'10, almost 6'11 (209 cm)

Former Foster Kid

Has Albinism

König was born to an Austrian mother and German father. His mother was from a very traditional catholic family, and when she got pregnant because of an affair/premarital sex, she wouldn't have an abortion and she felt she couldn't "bring such shame upon her family," so she gave him up for adoption/foster care.* His father never knew his "fling" became pregnant, so he had no idea of König's existence.

*König was born in 1995 in my au, but the laws regarding anonymous births and/or baby-boxes/safe-haven laws in Austria and Germany don't line up with this, with anonymous births and baby hatches becoming legal in Austria in 2001 and 2000 respectively, and in Germany 2013 and 2000* (Not legally, but they did exist), so forgive my historical and legislative inaccuracies. If you can't suspend your disbelief that these laws/measures existed earlier in the cod universe, you could say that when at the hospital, when the doctors asked his mom to write information so that König could access it at 18, in the case of many closed adoptions, his mother just dipped while they were in the bathroom or something...But are you really that hung up on cod headcanon legal inaccuracies? Moving On!

His mother really did love him, and she feels incredibly guilty, but she felt that raising him in an environment that would condemn his existence would not be great. König is my au also has albinism*, which would add another layer to this, with many who would associate his albinism as some sort of curse/retribution for his mother's sin, which is totes uncool y'all. All König knows is that his mom was incredibly religious, and named him accordingly. König has a complicated relationship with religion, with it both being one of the only connections he has to his birth parents, but also as the reason why they rejected him (we'll get more into his beef with god later, I went to catholic school, I live to project my religious trauma on characters I love).

*part 2/3, will expand on this

König's full name is Mathias Gunther Konrad Bauer né Mustermann. Now let's get into the explanations (with edgy commentary from König on each of them). First off, the reason why Konrad is bolded, is because it's his rufname, which is how names work in germany (according to my mediocre research). Basically you commonly have 2+ first names in germany, but your middle/second/third name is the one you actually go by. eg. Amalie Emmy Noether, this is her full name, but she goes by Emmy, and in legal docs, the rufname is underlined, so you can tell which one it is. Konrad's mother decided to follow more german naming conventions because of his german parentage from his father's side, and because her family was also very old-school. Ok! Now onto name meanings, König knows all of the meanings for his names because he has spent very long obsessing over them, because they're one of the few things he knows about his birth parents, and he finds many of meanings very ironic, and kind of sad,( imagine his commentary is from teenage/preteen König who is straight up not having a good time, and is very edgy)

Mathias means "gift of god," ("Wow! If I was such a gift, why did you use the gift receipt, mom")

Gunther means "warrior," ("I'm the epitome of bravery...", said in reference to his severe social anxiety)

Konrad means "Brave counsel," ("Same as the previous one, no comment)

Mustermann is the german equivalent of Doe, as in John/Jane Doe, and because people didn't know his parent's last name, this is what he ended up with. The né is in reference to the fact that it is no longer his last name, which is explained in the next one.

Bauer means "farmer, neighbor, fellow citizen", and is König's last name once he gets adopted at the age of 17 (and a half). We'll get to the Bauers in part 2!

[not---meat]

Paradise: Chapter 3: She Ran Away

Pairing: Javier Peña x McKenzie Martel

Rating: A - Adult

Warnings: Angst.

Summary: Conversations over brunch.

Note: This is an AU set in between season 2 and season 3 of Narcos sometime in the 90's. I apologize in advance for any historical inaccuracies!

MASTERLIST --- PARADISE MASTERLIST

What was the saying? If you love something let it go and if it comes back to you then it’s yours? McKenzie thought that was bullshit. Sure you could let it go… but would you still want it when it came back?

As she sat in the old diner in Laredo and stirred her coffee she lost herself in thought. She wondered if there was a reason for any of this madness. She wondered if sitting there waiting for him to show up was even worth the hassle. Javier had promised they would just talk. He had promised that he would tell her what had drove him to leave the way he did and not just some excuse for her safety. He had promised to tell her what brought him back. As if she didn’t know.

Kenzi wasn’t an idiot. The whole time that Javier was gone she had kept a close eye on the news. She had heard all of the stories of Pablo Escobar, feared for Javier’s life, and scoured the obituaries for his name just in case. Maybe she had stopped visiting Chucho, maybe she had all but given up on ever seeing Javier again, but she still cared about him even if he hurt her.

"Kenz."

His voice pulled her attention from the coffee she was stirring and had been stirring for a while. Green eyes flickered upward, meeting his own, shaded by the yellow tinted aviators he wore. Kenzi nodded, as if to tell him to sit down as she brought the cup to her lips and sipped her coffee. She wasn't sure what she was going to say. Truthfully she wasn't even sure she wanted to hear what he had to say. Her stomach turned as her heart pulled itself every which way, fighting for dominance, fighting for the decision on whether she was going to get up and walk away or if she was really going to hear him out.

"I saw you finished the mural yesterday." Javier sat down in the booth across from her, setting his jacket down next to him. He took the aviators off of his face and hung them from the collar of his shirt. "It looks good. I think dad will like it."

She slowly set her coffee back down onto the table, nodding and swallowing the mouthful of the bitter drink. "Yeah. I hope so."

Javier pursed his lips slightly, watching her with an eyebrow slightly raised. "Look… Kenz we don't have to do this yet if you don't wa-"

"I do." She cut him off, eyes flitting from the coffee cup still warming her hands to meet his eyes once again. "I'd rather get this over and done with so I don't have to think about it anymore."

Slow breaths. A sigh. Javier nodded his head and waved down the server so he could order a coffee for himself, his eyes never fully leaving Kenzi despite her willingness to look away from him and focus on something else. Anything else. She gazed out the window, watching as a couple walked down the street hand in hand. Stupid, happy smiles plastered on their face as they spoke to each other. It made her feel sick. It made her feel like she just might throw up.

"Fine." Javier started, smiling up at the server as she handed him his coffee, "Fine, Kenzi. Fine. What do you want to know?"

Her answer was quick. One word. Why.

A long sigh passed Javiers lips as he lit a cigarette and shook his head, taking in a puff before speaking. "I already told you, McKenzie. It was for your safety."

"That's bullshit." Kenzi whispered, shaking her head. "Tell me the truth, Javier."

"That is the truth, McKenzie."

"But not the whole truth." She bit back, her gaze snapping toward him, "Tell me the whole truth."

Another long sigh passed Javiers lips. He ashed his cigarette into an ashtray then took another pull off of it, shaking his head as the smoke billowed from his lips.

"Fine. I didn't want you to come." He admitted, "I didn't… I thought I needed a change, Kenz. I mean, fuck, I was about to marry Lorraine, settle down, maybe start a family… I wasn't ready."

Kenzi once again looked out the window, shaking her head as she wrapped her arms around herself, her fingers moved to her bottom lip, picking at it lightly. "I just don't… I don't understand, Javier." She breathed, "You gave up everything for what? Your work?"

"She's better off now." He responded.

"She is." Kenzi nodded, "Married with kids. She got her happily ever after, but we aren't talking about Lorraine, are we?" Her attention turned to Javier again, her hand dropping from her face. "This isn't about the bride you left at the alter."

"Yeah." Javier breathed, a billow of smoke coming out as he spoke, choking his words slightly. "It's about us."

"There is no us anymore, Javs."

"Isn't there?" He questioned, putting out the last bit of his cigarette, "Last time I checked we are still cradle to grave."

McKenzie stared at him for a while, a harsh silence between them as she glanced back out the window, blinking away the tears that threatened to spill.

"Cradle to grave…" She whispered, "Cradle to grave implies that we don't keep each other in the dark and leave each other, Javi. You promised-"

"I promised I'd be there for you, Kenz. That didn't mean I actually had to be there. I was trying to keep you safe." He snapped.

"You promised not to hurt me, Javier." She bit back, her eyes snapping toward him again. She shook her head and relaxed her shoulder a bit, grabbing her coffee and taking a sip.

"And I apologized for that McKenzie. I don't know what you want me to say. I did what I thought was right. I didn't mean for it to hurt you. I'd never want to hurt you. Please…" Javier reached across the table, taking her hand in his as she set her coffee cup back down, "Just… Trust me?"

There was a pause between them, a gentle sigh from Kenzi as she slipped her hand out of his. Javier sat up straight again, his gaze finally moving. Traveling to somewhere else.

"I thought about you every god damn day, McKenzie. I called Chucho to check in on you. Worried about you anytime he said he hadn't seen you in months other than a quick glance at the grocery store. I thought about calling you but I just… I couldn't have lived with myself if something happened to you." Javier leaned back in his seat. Deep brown eyes trailed back to McKenzie, watching her as she processed his words. "So many good people died out there, Kenz. People I trusted. I couldn't…"

His eyebrows furrowed slightly, pinching together and creating a harsh line in his forehead as his head dipped downwards, casting his gaze to the coffee cup in front of him.

"When the people I cared about started dying just for being associated with me I couldn't chance it, Kenz. I couldn't… risk your life. Not when I knew that you would have been willing to do anything to help."

Kenzi closed her eyes, listening to him speak, her anger slowly seeping out of her with every word. His tone was sad, regretful. She could feel him opening up and yet she still wanted more. she still needed more.

"Why did you come back?" She questioned, her voice closer to a whisper than anything else.

"Los Pepes." Javier replied, his voice low as if it were a secret that he didn't want coming out, "That's all I can say, Kenz."

"Because you're afraid?"

"Because I fucked up." He replied quickly, meeting her gaze, "And now I'm paying the price in more ways than one."

Both their attentions turned as their server came by, asking if they would like anything to eat. She refilled their coffee cups as Javier looked over the menu. They ordered and sat in silence for a moment, Javiers hand on the table, twiddling his thumb slightly as they both searched for the right words.

Finally McKenzie spoke. "Don't keep me in the dark like that again." She said softly, swallowing hard, "And… And tell me the truth about this shit, Javi. You don't have to do it now just… When you can, tell me."

"I will, Kenz. Just… Don't leave me, okay?"

there was a pain in his eyes, a pain in his expression that absolutely tore up her heart.

"I won't if you won't." She offered him a soft smile, "Cradle to grave no matter what."

The corner of Javiers lips curved slightly, returning the small smile that McKenzie gave him as they sat in silence for a moment. Overwhelming relief radiating between them. It could have been a lot worse. They could have had an actual fight about it, but Javier rarely ever raised his voice at Kenzi before. Truthfully the two of them rarely had ever fought before, their conflicts usually ending peacefully with them apologizing to each other for their irrational behavior.

Javier was rational. He was smart and he knew Kenzi well enough to know that hateful words didn't do him any favours.

"Alright. I have a bacon and egger platter for you." the server spoke, cutting the silence between them. Both their attentions turned to the server as she started to place their meals in front of them. Out of respect the two moved their cups out of the way to make it easier for the woman. "And I have the vegetarian omelette for you. Anything else I can grab the two of you?"

"No. No. I think we are alright, thank you." Javier responded, his voice soft as he unrolled the napkin holding his cutlery. His gaze moved back to Kenzi as she did the same thing. "So… Since when are you a vegetarian?" He asked.

McKenzie shrugged, setting her napkin to the side as she cut into her omelette, "Well… you know that whole cannible guy kind of put a wrench in my willingness to eat meat, you know?" Kenzi replied, looking up at Javier, "Couldn't get the visual out of my mind. Too gruesome."

Javier let out a breath, almost a laugh, "Still got a weak stomach, huh?" He joked, taking a bite of his food. "You would never have survived out in Medellin. The shit you see? You'd have flown home immediately."

His comment silenced her for a moment, her gaze moving downwards as she took a bite of her food and chewed. They sat in silence, both eating. Neither of them looking up at each other.

"Sorry." Javier spoke after a few minutes. He wiped his mouth and leaned back in his seat, "I didn't mean for it to sound negative."

Kenzi shook her head. She set her napkin down on her plate and grabbed her bag. "It's okay, Javs. I know you didn't mean anything by it."

"Let me pay." Javier offered as he pulled out his wallet. He grabbed a few bills and set them on the table. She twitched her nose slightly but didn't argue, instead just pulling the strap of her bag around her.

"Thanks. I have to run." She offered him a smile, "I'll see you around?"

"Wait. Kenz." Javier grabbed her arm as she started to walk away, "Just… What are you doing tonight?"

McKenzie let out a breath, looking down at him, "I… Nothing too serious. Just a night in with Rob." She shrugged, "You could stop by if you want?"

"Sure. Yeah."

"Cool. Chucho has my address." She offered before slipping out of his grasp. As she walked out of the diner and headed toward her car, she couldn't stop herself from smiling. Maybe, just maybe, that saying wasn't so bad after all. Maybe everything happens for a reason.

Maybe when things come back to you they are yours after all.

NEXT CHAPTER