#Celia also hates this bit

[rhysintherain]

The 20th century vampires are pretending to be hundreds of years old again, and the actual 200-year-old vampire is mad about it:

She reached the bottom of the stairs and threw her arms around Avery. “Love, I missed you! You’ve barely paid me any attention since I’ve been in town!” she admonished. Avery returned the hug briefly, then stepped back. Molly kept her hands on Avery’s shoulders. “Nice to see you too, Moll.” “Is it? After you neglected me all this time?” Avery smiled. “Well you know, I’ve been busy.” “Too busy for me? After all we’ve been through? “Remember Paris, love? It was 1836, and the lights of the city shone over the Seine like stars!” “You were acting at Du Pantheon,” Avery replied. “You played Sanchette -” “Ahem, Constance,” Molly corrected, putting on her best offended expression. “Of course, Constance in La Princesse de Navarre," she corrected. "You wore that stunning crimson gown.” “I still miss that gown. You were working on the docks, scandalising everyone by wearing trousers.” “Somebody had to show the men what a decent day’s work looked like.” Footsteps on the balcony above the stairs marked Bastion’s arrival. Avery looked up to see him leaning on the railing and watching them. “Everyone raise your hand if you were born before 1950.” He raised his hand, then feigned surprise. “Oh right, it’s just me.” He descended the stairs unhurriedly, with none of Molly’s grace. “You two know Du Pantheon was a cinema, right? It was built after the invention of film. If you’re going to pretend to be old and sophisticated, at least do your research first.” “I would, but it might raise the nerd vibes around here to dangerous levels,” Avery countered. Molly pulled back, crossing the vestibule to drape an arm around Bastion’s shoulders. “I have no idea why you two always want to pretend you were around back then. It stank. Literally, it smelled awful. And good luck finding blood that didn’t taste like tuberculosis or syphilis in 1830s Paris.” “Spoilsport,” Molly pouted.

[witchinatree]

i love when there is a character that i can overthink about. get rotated in my brain, idiot. i hope you heal from your traumas

[fantastic-mr-corvid]

one day i will make [and finish!!!] an actual animatic to a Zounds song and then i will ascend.

[amethxxt]

i'm ranting about descendants again and this is a long one

Alright, I talked a little bit about this on twitter literally yesterday (https://x.com/amethxxt/status/1798768561613361458) but I wanted to do it here too, so here we are!!

I think everyone has seen these pictures by now. It's from Descendants new book "The World of Auradon: Royals & Villains".

Now, at first, I got really excited (in a way, I still am) because it'll probably give me more material to use in my fics. Also, Uma looks absolutely stunning, so I immediately began reading her page and... Well, it's not the nicest things, right?

Like I said on twitter, I can't be the only one who sees the majorly different ways they talk about Uma and Mal.

With Mal, they start saying she's a "confident natural leader", and like- no, she's not, far from it.

I think the best version we got from Mal was on D1. She was such a good character and that's when I think the writers succeded the most with her - I believe it was hard to find someone who actively disliked or simply hated her.

When D2 came out, things went slightly downhill. Mal's inner conflict of not being the picture perfect Lady of the Court and feeling that the odd one out because she wasn't doing well in Auradon when compared to her friends is very realistic.

The pressure that she was feeling to be perfect and all the new things that came with being the King's girlfriend makes you understand why she was so anxious and wanted to leave. Now, I think we should all understand that this makes Mal a very insecure person.

She's insecure, she's flawed and runs away the first chance she gets because everything becomes too much. And if they wrote her like that, how is she a confident natural leader?

When the Core Four and Ben go after her, it's when things begin to change. Mal has a few moments in this movie: running away and leaving just a note to her best friend, claiming Dizzy was going to be fine when Evie felt sorry about leaving a child in the abusive place they all grew up in, betraying Uma's trust. Yeah.

I'm gonna make it very clear that I really like Mal as a character. I criticize her a lot because the writers started putting her in a pedestal, overpowering her and trying to erase anything that could be seen as bad.

Why would they have Mal apologize for using a love spell on Ben when they make such a cute couple and would be endgame anyways?

It gets worse in D3. I remember watching them announce that Hades was Mal's father and being like "No fucking way" because you want this girl to be not only half-fairy but a half-god?? Was this the only way to have his ember in the story?

Well, I think we got used to that plot after a while, but then - Oh, Mal's also Lady of the Court, she'll be a part of the decisions that concern the Isle of the Lost and a voice for the other VKs.

Yes, Mal is "a confident natural leader" who turns her back on her people and comes up to the idea of closing the Barrier for good to protect Auradon citizens.

Why do they refuse to bring up the fact that it was her idea?? Nevermind the fact that her and Ben weren't married yet, she was not the Queen and had absolutely no power to make that decision. They make Ben so useless, a King with no voice because he's not the main character, right?

So she makes a decision that's not up to her and proceeds to lie to all of her friends, makes empty promisses to both Celia and Uma, and when shit hits the fan, nothing happens.

Having Evie confront her about it is one of my favorite scenes, but what are the consequences? I understand that it was the final movie, but it's so rushed that makes everyone else feel out of character.

Mal and Evie can be the best of friends, but you can't tell me Mal would be like "I was wrong, I have to be a voice for everyone and I shouldn't have lied" and Evie would be just "Ok, perf".

And what about the opposite? When Mal betrays Uma for probably the third time, Uma has no trouble forgiving her? Of course they don't mention what happens in the books, they don't mention Mal trying to hurt Evie (or even get her killed lol) and they don't mention the "shrimpy" incident with Uma.

They don't talk about Mal's wrong doings the same way they talk about Uma.

Uma, according to the new book, is a "confident and resourceful VK with a major mean streak". Sorry, Uma has a mean streak? I don't think so. What Disney and Descendants keep doing is use the definition of a villain for a character who's an antagonist.

Villains have malicious intentions, they are evil. You're gonna tell me the girl who simply wants for all the children to get off the Isle, a place they were forced to live in along with murderers and other criminals, some of those who happened to be their parents, all while surviving off of the garbage that came from Auradon, is the evil one?

That is not to say Uma doesn't make mistakes or does bad things. Mal and Uma have the common point of using a love spell on Ben, which is awful and should be acknowledged as that, but they only do it in Uma's case.

"When Mal and her friends successfully freed Ben, Uma took it one step further by putting Ben under a magic love spell" x "She [Mal] used spells to mess with other students, to convince Ben that he loved her, and to change herself in order to fit in as Ben's girlfriend. But once she realized she needed to ditch the spell book and learn to survive without magic, she was able to become the queen she was always meant to be"

Those... are not the same to me. They detail every thing Uma does during D2, making it clear that using a love spell was worse than the previous actions of kidnapping him, but with Mal it almost feels like they excuse her actions because, eventually, she learned that magic wasn't the way to become who she was meant to be.

Also, what do you mean Mal felt guilty about the other VKs who were left behind? Mal didn't even look sad when her and Evie were leaving Dizzy behind! Evie was the one to come up with the idea to bring more children to Auradon, and when that magically turned into the VK Day (my arch-nemesis plotline along with Merlin Academy), she didn't look worried at all that it would them so long to free all the kids if they were going to pick 4 each time.

And again, her idea to close the Barrier for good (with no way in or out) would mean that eventually, everyone left in the Isle would die. I know it's Disney, and they would never make that happen, but if you're not going in to even leave your trash there (aka their food source), yeah, they're all dying.

Now, with Uma, they point out how she wanted to escape and get revenge on Mal, but like...... not really? Of course she mentions in D2 how she wants Mal's new turf and tries to make a deal with her to leave with her crew, but when she's actually free and we get into D3, it's been months (I think) and while Auradon's scared she's going to do something, we find out Uma spent all that time looking for a hole in the Barrier to get the kids out.

When she makes another deal to help Mal, all she asks for is the guarantee that every kid who wants to leave the Isle is able to do so. Who breaks that promise? The "villain" with the major mean streak or the confident natural leader?

I'm not saying that Mal is real villain, because she's really not. But she's far from how they describe her and if you're gonna tell me she's a natural leader, I better not see her bringing down the Barrier, letting both the kids and villains out, and acting like it's the right thing to do.

VK Day wasn't the answer to free the innocents, but bringing down the Barrier isn't it either! Mal doesn't "help convice Auradon citizens to accept all VKs into Auradon Prep" she just decides to do that lol

And again, that decision is not up to her, she had no legal right to do it. She was just Lady of the Court and nothing else.

Like I said on twitter, Disney and Descendants like Uma because she's a fan favorite, she was one since they announced her as a character. But they insist on the idea that Auradon changed her for the better, as if she was never someone who fought for what was right. She's not perfect either, but they can't write about her in a way that makes her look better than Mal.

How did Mal stop her at the end of D2? Mal didn't do anything, they were fighting, Ben made a speech, Uma turned around and left. That was it.

How did Auradon transform her? Of course they are implying that because of Rise of Red and her becoming the new principal, and even though this plot still kinda confuses me, it still seems like all the wants is for Auradon to be a fair place that doesn't discriminate against anyone.

I now this is getting too long, but I really like ranting about descendants. It's my comfort franchise but there's so many things wrong with it lol

And I also know I'm probably looking too deep into it, but I don't think I'm the only one who sees the ways Disney has always treated Uma and Mal differently.

I want to get this book and see if there's anything else about them. I really wished Disney and Descendants treated Uma better, though.

[alwaysshallow]

gorgeous, part 4

Simon "Ghost" Riley x f!reader

You decide to have some fun; you also talk to old friends. (3,3k)

READ ON AO3

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It's surprising how many times you see him, actually.

It's surprising because you thought – if you're lucky – it's gonna be after six months, on a check-up visit. Technically, he had no business to be here, especially considering how hidden he was, how he wasn't the type to chit-chat. It was okay, you didn't mind it.

And the day after he texted you, when you close clinic, you could see him right in front of the building, his hands in pockets, looking straight at you. It was a hypnotising experience though, especially when you walked in his direction, your knees like marshmellows, and he was still looking.

"Your mechanic was pretty nice." you said, tilting your head. "He said it's gonna be done in two weeks or less since he has work to do."

"Mhm." he matched your pace, walking with you side by side. "Finally doing something with it, aren't we?" he raised his eyebrow.

You laughed. "You make me look like I'm a bad car owner."

"Am I? Or that's just your thoughts?"

His comment made you open your mouth in pure disbelief at his honesty – you nudged him with before realizing how he could react at that gesture. He wasn't exactly a touchy-feely person, but there was no comment from him, so you were glad.

"Mean." you murmured, amused.

"'st speaking my mind, Addison."

"Uh-huh. That's why you're here? To speak your mind?"

He sighed, his eyes on the road in front of you. "You really like asking questions, don't you?"

"I like knowing things. Don't you?" you mimicked his low tone.

"I like knowing things. But I don't ask questions if I'm certain." he answered, straightening his back; a cracking sound that came out automatically made you shiver. "It's just walking you home. 's all, as I said, Sparkles would hate to have another vet."

"Right. Safety reasons, yeah?"

"Good girl. Learning so fast."

Motherfucker knew how to get to you – just after this comment, you had absolutely nothing to say, which made him visibly amused; his brow cocked, and he let out a low chuckle, looking away from you again. Thankful for the darkness, you just walked with him to start another topic after a while – about his cat, of course.

You had to leave 'good girl' behind, to not provoke him to say more because he could easily find out that nickname works for you perfectly. Especially if someone is British, especially if someone is just alluring as him.

And he had blonde hair. A bit curly. That's literally the recipe for a disaster.

After that interaction, he was walking you off to your apartment, day by day. It wasn't surprising after three first times – you just knew he's gonna be here, but you caught yourself looking for him, interested.

Not like you cared – at least that's what you told yourself – but it was curiosity speaking since you knew he was doing that just because of your car. Just because he somehow cared, just because he wanted to know you're safe.

Cute.

What was less cute though, you had to talk with Celia. You just had to and there was no excuse since your car already was in another mechanic's garage. And, Simon knew that you needed to talk with her, so he would ask about it eventually, so dodging the situation wasn't a plan, no. Not when he'd laugh the shit out of you, he did enough with implying you're not taking proper care of your car.

He had a point, though.

You took a few hours off in the morning, leaving Bernie on her own, just to see Celia – you even had your guilt cookies, big jar in your purse. It's not a surprise for anyone who knows you that you bake when stressed, and you certainly were stressed before this meeting. She could tell you anything; and it wouldn't be such a surprise if she'd tell you to go to hell.

A hope was there, though. Not only Simon said it, but when you thought it, it would be a real shame to ruin a friendship, running ten years, just because of a toxic guy that wasn't worth it. Not only that, your best friend had all the right to say I told you so.

You knew you kinda deserved that for being such a blind bitch.

Knock to her door came after a minute of staring dumbily at them, like it would help in something, or if she would magically open it without you knocking. It was a quiet knock though; shy one because, truthfully, you wanted to sprint from her house as far as possible. Confrontation? Not your best quality, no. Not at least in situation like these, when you know you have to apologize from the bottom of your heart.

A minute passed, and you knocked again, louder this time. You started considering walking away you thought maybe she wasn't home, but right after that, no one but Celia opened the door. Her eyebrows furrowed, arms were crossed against her chest, and you immediately knew what her attiude is.

Jesus Christ, it couldn't be easy, could it?

"Hi, Celia. Got a minute?" you asked; hesitantly. She could slam her door in your face, after all.

"Depends. You here because of the car?"

You sighed. "I'm here because I want to apologize, actually."

She seemed surprised as you said it; nonetheless, she let you in, leading you to kitchen. It was the main place of talks in her house, you could say that – not living room, not dining room, kitchen. Very big one, pretty, a table with two seats by side, so you sat there with her, clearing your throat. Wondering how to start.

How do you start conversation like that?

You had the simplest words on your mind. "I was a bitch." rolled off your tongue without even thinking. "I still am, though – but I was a bitch to you when I shouldn't have been. You wanted the best for me, and I just... well, I'm not proud of what I did. I should listen, not throw hands at you. It's not how it was supposed to be, it's not how I wanted it to be. Like, I know also that I should apologize way, way earlier, but-"

"Addie, c'mon." redhead interrupted you with a wave of her hand. "We're both bitches, we literally fought like fuckin' kids. Let me ask you one thing, you done?"

"With him?"

"Yeah, with that scumbag."

"Funny. You're the second person who talks of him this way" you mused, remembering this one situation with Simon. "Done, yeah. For five months right now."

Celia was silent for a moment, obviously analyzing the situation she found herself in; then, with a sigh, she looked again at you, her expression unreadable.

"Good to have your ass back on board, sister." she murmured, smiling a bit.

Next thing she did, was hitting your arm with such power that you let out a little 'ow', laughing with her in the same moment.

"Deserved." she pointed at you. "I apologize too, though. I could be better, I could just... well, tell you everything a bit differently. Not so harsh, you were in love with that prick." your friend muttered, rolling her eyes. "Okay, enough of apologies, though. Who said he's a douche, though? That person might be my second best friend."

So, you told her – almost everything, saving little details about his appearance or aura to yourself; Celia was a pretty fan of him, especially his snarkiness and comments. Yet, she was a bit jealous that you had the audacity to bring your car to other mechanic; mostly, she was jealous of the car, not you.

Her baby, as she liked to tell everyone. She picked it out for you from her uncle, repaired it, added some "cool shit" (it's a mystery what cool shit is, you didn't ask though).

Nonetheless, she was more than glad that you managed to find someone who's gonna help you with that, and you came to her purely to fix something between you two.

A friendship that – you promised yourself – would live through everything, no matter what would happen, no matter of circumstances. She was your person, just like Rosalie.

Who, speaking of, left million voice messages on your phone on your way back to clinic, so you considered it the perfect ocassion to listen to them all.

Apart from her excitement on your car situation, she invited you to her local bar for... a party. You didn't exactly know what party was about, or if it was just a casual hangout, but you agreed to go. It's been a while since you took a break from clinic and actually spent your night out, not under some blanket, watching movies with a bowl of chips or icecream.

Not like it was bad. Not at all. Sometimes you just needed a... change in your routine.

Rosalie promised to pick you up since your car was still at mechanic's – so, your only task was to look good, but not too good. Bar was something else than club; more casual, but you really wanted to at least flirt a little or to catch an eye on someone, even if your mind was... pretty occupied with certain someone.

Maybe your best friend would bring someone worth your time, yeah? She usually had some ideas and wanted to play as your little matchmaker, so you never knew what was coming.

That being said, you opened your closet.

It was almost embarrasing how many clothes you had that you didn't even wear more than one time; mostly, cocktail dresses for fancy ocassions since your parents insisted on buying something new. People of business, someone would say – always having a whim about their galas and shit like this, it was hard not to hate it, considering that business comes before family, mostly.

Maybe that's why you limited contacts with them, sending them a text or two of what you're doing, how's the clinic going. And, of course, Christmas with them or Thanksgiving was a must if they weren't on some fancy vacations abroad.

With a thought in your mind that you have to go through those dressed, you decided to pick something simple to bar. Black tank-top, a simple baby blue shirt on it (unbuttoned, of course) and a pair of simple jeans worked in your mind, as well as in reality, so you found yourself quickly putting on a pair of sneakers.

Your make up took a little longer; you paid attention to your skin, the perfect eyeliner, a delicate lipgloss bringing out the shape of your lips. Everything had to look effortless, even if it wasn't; your motto, basically.

As promised, Rosalie picked you up; and you've talked with her the whole road, almost two hours to be exact. You haven't seen her for two months straight and even if you were updating her as much as you could in a day, it wasn't even close to your sincere talks. She asked a whole palette of questions; how's your car, how's that Simon who rescued you from jerky ex; she looked a bit amused when topic was on him, but you had no idea why.

"Man that has good ideas is rare" she summed up, chuckling, when you catched her up with Celia situation and told her your car is going to be fine, you just have to pick it up in the next week. "Don't tell him that by any means. His ego wouldn't take it."

"Oh, you have no idea."

Soon enough, you arrived. Bar was cute; not too large, but with big-ass bar table and glass shelves behind it with amount of alcohol that you couldn't count, even if you wanted to. Dim, orange lights just added to the view, and you smiled under your nose instincitvely, happy that you've decided to go there.

Tables weren't occupied as you thought they would be; Rosalie mentioned earlier it's gonna be a private party, but you didn't think that private, considering that you could count like... maybe ten, eleven people. Military men with their significant others, as you saw when you walked up to the barman, ordering a drink for you and your best friend.

You couldn't obviously ignore that someone was discussing with MacTavish near you; seemed like a heated discussion, until they looked right at you.

Guy with a skull mask. Full-ass skull mask like Simon had this one day when you two...

Fuck, could it be him? Maybe he was in unit that wore masks like these, you thought. It would be a strange coincidence, wouldn't it? And, Rosalie for sure would tell you that her comrade is the guy you are talking about sometimes since he adopted a cat, Sparkles, yeah?

Rosa had her significant smirk when she looked at you, and it was all you needed to know, especially when men approached you both.

Trouble in a person, that would be on your best friend.

"He gets a bit shy around strangers. Ain't your fault" Johnny joked, nudging you with his shit-eating grin, as he gave his friend a look.

"Mm, I bet. Good to see you, MacTavish." you murmured, which made "stranger" roll his eyes and grumble something under his nose. "And what's your friends name?" you raised an eyebrow, making eye-contact with those brown eyes you wouldn't forget ever.

"His name-"

"-you know my name, doc." Simon said, interrupting Soap. He took off his mask with one, swift movement, to reveal to you his scarred face and disheveled, blonde hair that you wanted to dip your fingers in so desperately.

To say that Johnny was shocked, was the understatement; he looked at his comrade in shock, opening and closing his lips, like he wasn't exactly sure what to say, considering that he took off his scary mask.

"Didn't know you have friends in military."

"Apparently, we're both full of surprises" you sipped a bit of your margharita, shrugging, like you two meeting here was the most normal situation that could happen.

"You two know each other, no?" Soap meddled in conversation, observing you two. It was obvious that he doesn't really know how you two could met, and honestly, no one could blame him. He was in military, barely going out, and you were a simple vet.

You nodded. "We met, yeah."

"Oh, I'd really want to hear it."

"Simple help. Nothin' too fancy, MacTavish" he pointed out, taking a sip of his alcohol.

Soap's look was piercing in you, though. "Helped him with a cat. Simple, like he said." "Fuckin' cat? Ghost is a cat mom now, eh?" he chuckled, which made Simon roll his eyes.

You wondered if Ghost was something they named them in the field, and if yes, why? After all, everything always was supposed to fit. As Rosalie said to you, even if she couldn't tell you everything (classified, of course) every nickname had a meaning behind it.

Ghost... seemed ambigious. You couldn't put it anywhere.

"Better than you'd be, John. Let's drink, shall we?" you raised your eyebrow, trying to lead the conversation elsewhere; looked like your companion thought the same way.

Rosalie introduced you to rest of the team – they all told you their names, but you were sure as hell that you're not gonna remember that, considering your memory was shit, especially to people that you don't see often. Either way, they were nice; very nice, after a few drinks with them you were pretty sure that your platonic soulmate is Kyle Garrick, who was the best partner in karaoke. And, he was also such a gossiper, finding every ocassion that he could to talk to you about something.

Not military related, though; only "things for civilians" as he giggled to you after fifth shot of tequila, telling you something about a girl that he had eye on. Curiosity piqued in the moment he confessed that she was 'out of reach' for him, and it was no chance that he could get together with her.

Hell, for you "no chance" before even trying was non-existent. You loved to prove people wrong, to make them watch you accomplishing various of things just to rile them up, or to reach your goal.

"Don't say that" you pointed at him. "There's always a chance for something. You won't try, you won't know. That's it."

"It's the same chance, as the chance that Ghost will get any of us to that fancy gala. Non-existent." he groaned, burying dramatically his head in his hands. "And like his driving skills."

"Garrick" he murmured; low, rumbling voice made sergeant straighten a little. "'s enough talkin' of it, yes?"

You chuckled. "What gala? And what, your driving skills are that bad?"

"I have rather..." Simon played with glass filled with alcohol "...complicated relationship with cars, I'd say. I prefer walking."

You raised your eyebrow a little, amused; what does it mean his relationship with cars is complicated? You couldn't help but think, as you nodded your head with faked understanding. It was hard to believe that his ass in military didn't have a driving license, so it only meant that his ability to drive was...

Different, maybe. And for his own safety, as well as yours and anyone on the road, he picked out walking instead of driving. Smart, though.

"That's why you've walked me home."

"Affirmative."

"Walked you home?" Kyle looked at both of you in shock, laughing to himself. "Oh, fuck, man. So many things are happening on leave, ain't it?"

"Gaz." Price shot him a look.

"I can't even-"

"Gaz."

"Fuck, okay" he rolled his eyes, shaking his head to himself. "Just so you know, if Johnny wouldn't be so caught up in Ros, he'd back me up."

Your gaze automatically went to Rosalie, who talked with her bartender friend. Johnny, right next to you, was looking at her with slightly darker eyes, leaning his head against palm of his hand. It was... a view, honestly; friends, but not admitting to something more, even if everyone else saw their bond is beyond simple "best friends".

Something that you considered as cute.

You couldn't help but wish that they will be together soon enough; the way they cared for each other... Hell, probably everyone wanted something like this for themselves, as well as you; something so pure with longing glances that would make you weak in your knees.

A sigh of annoyance came out of you – where the hell you were supposed to find something like this when you spent most of the days in the clinic? Tinder or any portal like this wasn't even an option.

Mostly because you met your crazy ass ex here, but also you wanted to... hell, get past that online dating stage.

Was it too much to ask?

"Another round?" Kyle's voice brought you back to earth; you nodded immediately, standing up from your seat. "Captain, Ghost, you comin'?"

"Mm, no. 'm gonna make a call." Price shook his head. "You go. Another one will be on me."

You looked at Simon.

"I'll pass too." he murmured, coughing. "

"Oh, come on! You have to do one shot with me. Please."

"Addison-"

"Please?" you pleaded, extending an arm to him, so he could grab his hand. "Just one."

Simon sighed. "You're not gonna let it go, eh?"

"No, not really. I owe you for that mechanic, don't I?" you tilted your head, smiling a bit. "Come on. Please. Just one shot. Or one drink, anything, really."

He didn't say anything; just followed you to the bar with boys, while you babbled about your work, when Gaz asked what does exactly vet do, besides controls and all.

And it felt really good to feel Simon's eyes on you the whole time. How he keeps his rich, brown eyes at you, while you tried desperately to keep yourself together, just in case - because after alcohol, you were the touchy-feely version of yourself.

He had some time to learn it.

[riveracheron]

eh. might as well post this now. a few of these are wish fulfillment rather than actual theorizing but explanations under the cut

i have an alchemy hyperfixation and all the alchemy stuff in tmagp makes me very excited so a lot of my theories are related to that

spoilers for the pilot btw

main character gets an eye injury - the image will not leave my head. in the magnus institute ruins statement there was this whole thing about redcanary having some kind of encounter with or experience with eye trauma and that feels like something thats just. gonna come up again

another mechanisms va - self explanatory, we need to complete the set. would love to hear kofi or rachel.

gwen has trauma related to something that happened with elias - this is going on the theory that she’s not elias’ counterpart, but a relative of some kind. something spooky happens to him and that pushes gwen to research the paranormal.

character referencing nicholas flamel - all the main characters have names that reference alchemists, and nicholas flamel is probably the most famous alchemist of all time. i doubt he’ll be given the smirke treatment because that kinda already happened with the transphobic wizard books, but someone could be sharing his name.

mag 114 statement is relevant - thats the. hill top road statement that deals with other realities, and anya (the statement giver) could be from the protocol verse. we could totally hear about the aftermath of her departure

alice/sam/gwen = three primes - the three main alchemical symbols on the OIAR crest, and a good sort of symbolic trio sorter. the three peimes are salt, sulphur and mercury, and are the basis for alchemy. the down to earth, reliable salt, the firey, unpredictable sulfur, and the adaptable, easygoing mercury. i think these could apply i just want to have it called out in universe

lena is a good person - i don’t think they’d pull the evil boss thing twice. i just think lena’s weird mannerisms are from her autistic swag

celia is related to or is agnes - (related to as in. her story involves agnes, not that shes like. a sister.) this comes from a theory by @/pinklotjeart, i think. basically: through the way her death was described (spark returned to the lightless flame) and some timeline discrepancies and general avatarness making it weird, agnes might not be Dead dead. and celia’s counterpart, lynne - well, she saw a fire ghost. also, both her and agnes are the only non one-off characters who have shakespeare names afaik. agnes MONTAGUE, celia from as you like it…

annabelle cane is related somehow - self explanatory, she was at hilltop road when everything went down. might have been pulled in.

a famous alchemist is robert smirke’d - self explaining, give me more canon historical figures jonny

another kitty cat - i want more kitty in podcast is that a crime

augustus is not jonah - we hear jonah’s voice as ben meredith in 193, so im skeptical that tim fearon’s character is jonah for that reason.

oiar group has a messy moment that devolves into actual physical violence - mmm angst i think they deserve to smack eachother around a bit

bonzo cult - yeah.

oiar found family - we got the group of coworkers that hate each other angst last time gimme the “hurting one to get to the others” and self sacrifice angst this time

colin dies early - mmmm i cant say much about this bc its based on one throwaway line at the MCM panel where jonny doesn’t mention colin in the main character group. so . death flags.

oiar is containing the entities scp style - this was a super early theory of mine, either this or theyre using them for power or energy in some way. even more heavy handed capitalism metaphors yay

someone gets ushanka’d - its computer horror: the podcast. that’s all

cookbook statement - a few clues in the ARG had to do with cookbooks, and alex and jonny have already said they’re getting weird with the statement formats (they mentioned an insurance report!) so. cookbook doesn’t seem too far-fetched

tiktoker/influencer character - archives was 2010s and they had a podcaster and youtuber, which were like. the big things. whats the hip trend now??? instagram and tiktok baybee

protocol editors va a small role a la mag 100 or the wtgfs cult - those characters were voiced by other rq team members (ie helen as laverne and martyn as robin) and the team has since expanded!! some editors dis stuff for cry havoc, so im guessing nico, annie, april and others will get a small role!

a villain’s goal is creating the philosopher’s stone or other alchemical thing - tmagp is heavily inspired by alchemy, and the philosopher’s stone was the main goal of alchemy!! it would grant you eternal knowledge snd the ability to turn lead into gold- which seems like a good. evil dude’s ambition

the desolation gets more focus - the institute burned down, the oiar crest has a lot of sulfur symbols (the fire element), alchemy as a whole having to do with fire, celia and her connection- it paints a very. lightless flame picture

trip to germany - a lot of the arg was set in and around berlin, and there was that exchange between sam and colin about german in the pilot! i could see a germany trip happening in the same way jon took a trip to china and america.

[girlwholovesturtles]

I hate to have this thought but you guys know how Gerry seems so much happier in the new series? Do you think it could somehow be connected to his brain tumor or maybe related medications?

Like he seems a bit spacey and when he says "I like them." near the end, he seems almost out of it. No suspicion at all, like he's never had reason to worried about strangers or the supernatural the way TMA Gerry did.

Meanwhile Gertrude clearly doesn't like that Celia and Sam are there and are asking about Gerry even before the Institute is brought up but she's never harsh or scolding with him the way TMA Gertrude was. She just sighs and says "Of course you do." like she doesn't expect him to realize something was clearly wrong with their questions.

So it makes me wonder, is it maybe something medical? It's totally possible it's not but brain tumors can do all sorts of things to your personality, as can certain meds. Though I'm sure not being raised by Mary Keay also did wonders for the man.

[panthera-tigris-venenata]

A bag of choice (tm)

Mal - she continuously causes Evie heart attacks by refusing to use any and all designer bags and even just the decent looking ones she gives her and using the same tattered old tote bag she found and improved when she was thirteen.

Evie - you know she has at least one from any occasion, and we love that for her.

Jay - pockets. Does he lose half the groceries he was supposed to buy? No, absolutely not, these items were never written down in the first place.

Carlos - I feel like his cousins suceeded in getting him reasonable bags. Criticism will NOT be accepted by any of the de Vils and also that thing somehow fits an entire toolbag.

Ben - ...auradon royal family merch :( he hates it :( (Mal quickly improved it for him. He loves that version to bits and his parents despise it just as much.)

Audrey - a small shiny clutch that fits barely a phone, a credit card, and lipgloss. Y'know, the essentials.

Chad - nope. No. He doesn't even bother to use his pockets, he loses his stuff all the time. Just. Puts it down and that's it.

Jane - very cute and very practical backpack with a little ribbon <3 and lot of cute added charms <3 we love our practical girlie <3

Lonnie - hmm. Probably a sports bag or backpack of choice. Secret compartments for reasons that are definitely NOT "war-induced generational paranoia".

Btw ALL VK bags have secret compartments, just so you know.

Uma - first of all, Uma rarely ever carries her own shit. Harry and Gil are being gentlemans and the rest of the crew is lowkey afraid for their own life if Harry saw that they let the Captain carry heavy things . Second of all, she got the crew tote bags with Lost Revenge logo.

Harry - ...yeah he forgets that bag all the time. That's fine tho, he has like not normal amount of pockets.

Gil - the crew logo bag but Claudine embroidered more decorations on it for him.

Claudine - she doesn't have vibes for a bag, okay? She can carry everything she needs without it. (...yeah, she doesn't carry ANY of the stuff most people do. Phone? Devil's machine. Keys? There's always people to let her in. Money? Ivy has those. Or Uma, or Harriet, or Gil. Someone will pay for her.)

Ivy - either a designer bag that SOMEHOW fits an entire bottle of whiskey, or she goes out without any means to carry anything, including pockets, cos designers hate women. She has cigarettes behind her ears, phone, money, and emotional support lipstick in her bra, keys strung on dress strap, and she keeps playing with the lighter. Flickering it on in a completely non-threatening way.

Diego - okay, all de Vil cousins deserve designer handbags. His prefered one is dark leather.

Anthony - he has a collection of bags he got as gifts. Dark leather one from Diego, crocheted one that Dulcia made when bedbound and refused to use, a bunch of bags decorated by his little cousins withvarious amount of sucess and glitter.

Dulcia - she also has a collection. Some designer ones that Audrey got bored of and passed to her through Anthony (displeased at having to play messenger), and lot of bags decorated by her little family members. Also a... Contraption gifted to her by the Hearts kids, she slightly afraid to touch it.

Dizzy - you know that thing is bedazzled enought to blind someone (affectionate)

Celia - you know, this little shadow witch manages without a bag just fine, it's like magic.

Freddie - not sure, either a cute hand-decorated tote, or whatever shiny thing CJ stole for her.

CJ - nope. She has slightly better record of losing shit than Chad, because she has shit ton of pockets in her coat, no reservations about sticking shit into her bra if she needs to, and slightly exasperated Freddie picking the stuff of value that she dropoed after her.

Harriet - it goes about like so: *already paying at the counter, realising she cannot carry all that shit with sheer power of will and hubris:* „...hey, Sam? Do you have a bag?“ (they always do)

Ginny - lol, a crocheted one from Dulcia that she complains about all the time but won't ditch. (She has sewed-on compartments for the actually important stuff on her clothes also)

[akalikai]

TMAGP EP 27 REACTION (SPOILERS)

Istg my dumbass keeps forgetting when Thursdays are until @notachamealeon reminds me that a tmagp ep dropped

Sam is being bitchy akhskajd literally is this bc he's still feeling good about himself after him and Celia had GASP heterosexual intercourse???

Poor Gwen having to pick up the slack she really is trying her best I love my girl.

"I've got a SPECIAL list for her" hey Gwen that's kind of fucking gay of you-

OH ITS GRANDPA LOOK AT THAT GRANDPA IS BACK

...why is there no explanation? Like why is there nothing about what this is related to, like a prelude or introduction? Augustus just...started talking??

"Than to light within them that muses' fire of inspiration" it might just be a metaphor but whenever the older cases related to the institute or the experiment bring up fire, I become a bit wary

Okay so the institute in the universe seems to be founded for the sake these alchemic experiments as opposed to Jonah Magnus creating it to serve The Eye in TMAverse

Just for anyone that wants to know, Chartism was a working-class movement for political reform in the UK during the 1830s to 1850s. That's what the second journal entry is referencing

Okay the single coachman reminds of one of Jonah Magnus's livers in his regency era harem who got fucked over by a Lukas, I think it was something about the coachman entirely turning his head 180 degrees to face backwards the entire drive or something.

Oh okay so coachman is part of the coach. Lovely.

Okay so we're focusing on the growler? And I think it's because the coachman and the coach attachment is probably due to alchemy of some sort?

Oh great. The cab ate the man. Wonderful.

BOYLE???? AS IN ROBERT BOYLE???? Wait no can't be him he died in the 1600s I remember that from AP Chemistry

Oh my god he convinced his own colleague to go into the growler dude this is giving Jonah Magnus it REALLY is

WAIT. SHUT THE FUCK UP. "operated by me status as founder" SHUT THE FUCK UP I JUST SAID ITS GIVING JONAH MAGNUS

APOLLO REALLY FUCKING HOT ME WITH THE GIFT OF PROPHECY WHAT THE FUCK

Alice my wife hating prime ministers is just So Real also with how viciously she hates the prime minister I would have thought my girl was Desi too since I hate India's prime mini-

I'm gonna shut up

TRANS CONFIRMATION I MEAN WE KNEW BUT YESSSS ALICE CANONICALLY TRANS

Dyhard is SO endgame LOOK AT THEM

"Magnus guy" SHUT THE FUCK UP NO WAY OH my GOD

What is happening. Someone please come pick me up I'm scared why are we talking about sex

Oh Sam. I think it's kind of obvious that Celia does find this like a casual relationship. Kind of like "well if it goes well, it goes well. If not, whatever" He's definitely taking it more seriously than her.

I do also think she's kinda lying when she says Jack's her only first priority bc it's very clear the Magnus stuff is very much a priority too

HILLTOP CENTRE???? RIGHT THATS WHERE THE OUTREACH CENTRE WAS

And also oh god Alice being here is gonna make things awkward isn't it.

MORE MAGNUSSING

Celia is really trying to find the Archivist that she knows but I don't think she's going to get that, not in this universe at least.

Alice joining the scooby doo gang! All we need is Gwen and we got the full team!

Edit: HOW DID I MISS THAT TREVOR FUCKING HERBERT IS THE PRIME MINISTER OH MY GOD

[thebluestbluewords]

is the worldbuilding in the room with us now?

"My sister is trying to court the little Tremaine." Freddie grumbles,rolling her eyes. And also her other eyes. All of the googly eyes she's got glued to her purse, and the embroidered ones on her coat all roll in sync with each other. The overall effect is very Isle chic. It's almost comforting. 

"If it helps at all, they're being very cute about it," Evie says, carefully maintaining her tone of absolute innocence. She certainly hasn't been encouraging Dizzy's advances, no siree. Freddie doesn't need to know about the cobweb coat that's hanging above Dizzy's table in the workshop right now. Evie's only been helping a little bit with the bedazzling. "I think they're sweet together." 

Freddie's eyes narrow. "Enabler." 

"Me? Fred, come on." 

Freddie swats at the hand that Evie's laid innocently on her chest. "You're enabling them somehow, I know it. Don't put on that act with me."

Evie swallows back her giggle. "No act, I just think they're sweet. They cuddle sometimes." 

Freddie growls, a low rumbling that picks up in her throat and reverberates through Evie's bones. "I'll kill her." 

"Which one?" Evie offers sweetly. "Because if you're looking to defend Celia's virtue, I think you're a little too late. That ship sailed while they were still living under the same roof." 

"You let them--" 

"I did. We were doing it at their age. We're fine." 

"I wouldn't call us--" Freddie sweeps both hands out in a broad gesture that somehow ecompasses both girls, her blinking eyeball purse, and Evie's glistening white kitchen as a whole. "Fine. I mean, look at this shit.  You have fake fruit on your counter." 

Evie snatches the glossed banana out of her friend's un-tender grip. "I have preserved fruit on my counter, actually. And it's there for a reason. Don't break it." 

Freddie relinquishes the banana, but leans back so she can cross her arms in an appropriately disapproving manner. "Why would I break you banana, princess?" 

"Lots of reasons. Maybe you have a grudge against bananas in general. Maybe you hate mine specifically. Maybe you've got a secret anti-fruit vendetta that you're acting upon one poor, unfortunate fruity soul at a time. Maybe," Evie leans in so they're nearly nose to nose. "You just want something from me, and abusing my fruit is the fastest way to get it." 

Freddie scoffs. 

"Hardly. What I want is to know why the hell you keep preserved fruit on your counter when any kid could come along and break a tooth on it." 

"It's a science experiment." 

Freddie's eyebrows crawl up her face. "Explain."

"Gladly. Everything arrives on the Isle already rotten, right?" 

"Right. Like us." 

Evie can be generous. She ignores this breach of manners, and forges ahead undaunted. "So, we deserve better than that. If we fix what arrives on the Isle, it goes a long way towards keeping things inhabitable, or at least bearable for the kids who are still stuck there while Ben works on the legal grounds to get them out safely.  I started a few experiments in food preservation, oh, maybe a few months ago?" 

"So this banana--" 

"Is four months old. Yes." 

Freddie lowers herself to go eye-to-eye with the preserved fruit bowl. "But it's solid." 

"Yes." 

"So if I peel this open..." 

Ah. No. 

"I didn't say that I've mastered the experiments yet," Evie says, sliding the bowl backwards before Freddie can try anything stupid. "I've succeeded in preserving some fruits, but the tradeoff is that they're currently fully preserved." 

"So?" 

"Inedible." Evie explains. "We preserved them too well. They'll just pass through your body fully undigested." 

"Gross." 

"You don't know gross until you're looking at a stool sample full of undigested orange chunks." Evie says grimly. "We almost called in Fairy Godmother for a case of magical poisoning before we realized that it wasn't organ tissue sloughing off on the way out." 

[cometapollo]

Hi! Do you have any Headcanons about Fox, maybe specifically about how he is with his partner on a daily basis, or in public? I'd love to see your take on it, only if you're okay with so of course! 🫶🫶

The way I ran so fast to my notes app only to realize its all in my brain KDBDJB

General HC;

I like to think he wears nice clothes outside the home, but when he's just chilling at home he's slip into a hoodie (yes the ahegao hoodie is a go-to) and sweatpants. It's comfy time

He and his bodyguards are pretty close friends. He likes them cus they're big and strong and lowkey kinda hot. He likes to sit and listen to their banter between streams- it's entertaining

He's ALSO really close friends with Celia; she's among the first people he'll contact in an emergency (aside from the obvious) or if he's bored. They have a spa day once a month

He's a bit of a parent friend, but he's the kind that'll laugh at you before helping

If he accidentally cuts himself while making dinner he'll just stare at the wound for a second like "oh" before patching it up

He babysat Derek for a bit while he was getting his business up and running so he basically watched the guy grow up. That's probably the closest thing he'd ever want to a kid (He hates kids cus of Derek kdbdjd that kid was TERRIBLE). He's got a bit of a fatherly attachment to him nonetheless

Relationship HC;

He would absolutely SPOIL his partner. Something in a store window catches your eye? As soon as you arent looking he'll buy you three

He's EXTREMELY physically affectionate. There's hardly any point where he isn't cuddling or touching you in some way, and if you're out in public he's got his hand in yours or around your waist, or his tail is brushing the backs of your legs

If he's comfortable enough with a person, he'll slowly drop the flirty businessman persona and allow himself to feel safe in private. Once his guard is down, he'll be more like his younger self in terms of how he acts around you at home. He just seems a lot more comfortable and happy, so the shift doesn't bother his partner much

Lowkey wants to buy matching collars but is also So Iffy about it. He annoys himself with it

He takes you to parties and formal events (if you want go, at least) and when he does, god forbid you leave his line of sight for more than 3 minutes. He'll only allow this if you have to use the bathroom and will stand next to the door to make sure you come out okay. Otherwise he'll tear down the place looking for you

[bonzos-number-1-fan]

TMAGP 23 Thoughts: Not Not NotThem

After quite the hiatus we're back with another guest writer. This time it's Harlan Guthrie of Malevolent fame. A show I likely won't ever get around to listening to but have heard nothing but good things about. So everyone go check it out if you liked this. This one is very obviously from a guest writer too. Its style and contents are pretty distinct from TMA. Which is not a bad thing by any means and it's a really great episode overall.

Spoilers for episode 23 below the cut.

There isn't a huge amount to dig into in the opening scene. I do like that the paperwork is a continuing process and it's pretty likely there will be some sort of pay of too it. Lena doesn't seem to be lying in this scene either. She really does seem to think that it's a prank. So assuming it's not a prank she doesn't seem to have as tight a grip on the office as she thinks she does. It's also interesting how engrossed it makes Sam but that might just be a character quirk rather than anything greater.

I really liked this incident but, honestly, I really don't have a load to say on this incident. I thought it was a really well written incident but quite explicit as incidents go and not a huge amount to dig into for larger puzzle pieces. It's also always tricky to know what's meaningful to the larger story when there is a guest writer. Jonny and Alex do give input but it's not like we know what that input is. Either way there is only two things I can think to mention here for it. The first is the time discrepancy in the post dates. The penultimate post comes a months after the final post. Which might not really mean much of anything to be honest. This is a doppelganger incident and those have typically had time discrepancies in them but the nature of this one doesn't lead to an easy explanation of that. So it might mean something, or it might be a mistake. I don't think it's a particularly important detail as of yet in either case.

The other bit in the mention of copper. Copper is a planetary metal, along with things like silver and mercury that have recently appeared, but the symbolic nature of those is a tricky subject to get into. Alchemy as a subject is mixed up with a lot of newer takes on things and so any its not always wise to assign too much in the way of importance to that. But that being said copper is the metal of Venus, both the planet and the god. Venus/Aphrodite obviously have some strong connection to this sort of incident. However part of the reason for copper being associated with Venus is copper's role as a metal to make mirrors from. That's a more compelling angle to this one for me. Alesis did pretty literally make their mirror double here.

Newman is a very on the nose name here too.

Sam and Celia's Institute sleuthing has not a whole lot of interest for me either if I'm honest. Basira and Helen are Basira and Helen, not much to say there until we meet them. The version of John and Martin Sam identified is weird though. It's weird in that it doesn't actually make any sense. He said they were "close to the right age" but that doesn't really track. It either means they were born at the right time, or died at the right time. But in either scenario it's sort of just nonsense. If they were born at the right time they died around 10. That's obviously possible but it raises a lot of questions about why Celia would be looking into some 10 year olds. If they died at the right age then they're offset by about 20 years which also doesn't track with anything else we've seen. The only other scenario is that she's not looking for TMP's John and Martin but rather TMA's as that could account for a time discrepancy but if that's the case neither of those ages are the right age. So all of that is probably a red herring.

Gwen and Alice opening up to each other is really nice to see too. Even though they do both hate each other outside of Sam and Alice they're the characters with the most history and it's great to see that having some weight. There isn't anything new here from our perspective, other than [Error] having too many eyes but that's not a big shock, but it's nice that the characters are actually talking about this stuff. It did seem pretty likely that they'd all be having their own insular adventures around the mid-season point but having them all come together like this is a nice thing to see.

I’ve not been “arsey”- bzzt

10/10

Great ep all around.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Incident/CAT#R#DPHW Master Sheet and Terminology Sheet

DPHW Theory: 3536 seems pretty normal to me on this one. The more data I get the less I feel like anything comes up that needs explaining in my theory. Beyond the initial shift from my conceptions of these groups as fears to broader thematic elements I think this is proving to be pretty rock solid now. I'll keep this section around but I do think there will be not much of interest in these at this point.

CAT# Theory: 13 is great for my "It's not People/Places/Objects" essay. There wasn't an object in this one. Coral are animals and so count as people, the host is person, the Not Not NotThem also a person. If you say that animals count as objects it creates large problems in the theory. I really should have a sit down to puzzle this one out.

R# Theory: BC is interesting because initially I thought that was a bit low as the most similar case to this format was RedCanary's and that's AB. But that also had a lot more interaction and photos included which would bump it up for my theory there. So this one does actually check out.

Header talk: Transformation (Dysmorphic) -/- Doppleganger (Infection) is very peculiar. Daria's incident has a very similar header but Dysmorphic was the crosslink and Full was the subsection. Hard to know if it means anything but it's interesting in some sense of the word.

[witchinatree]

magnus protocol episode 26 ramble

the academic victim era continues. i like putting my lil personal bits at the beginning of these i think it humanizes me

ok. i have to pause mid intro song. i just hit my bowl of snap pea crisps and spilled them everywhere and i'm going to tweak

3 of them fell on the floor.. but they're kinda expensive so we don't get to have them very often.. is it worth it..

i ate them i don't care

this has become more about me than the episode i'm gonna unpause it now

we're so back

celia at work core!! she dgaf!!!

MEET HELEN. pls don't be a tory in this universe pls pls pls pls. i didn't fw human helen at all i am less excited than i was about basira but also basira was one of my all time favs forever

hiii aliceeee <333

magnusing is so me tbh if you think about it

so does alice's voice have a slight hint of that effect they use for chester and norris to anyone else or.. like she sounds computer-y and i don't know if it's just the microphone or something real

"take protection" "jesus christ!" "LIKE A BIG KNIFE OR SOMETHING" CRYING. see my mind didn't go there sam so what's up with that sam huh sam

the hell does celia have in her workbag wtf. queen what. it's the trauma "are you sure that thing is legal?" LMFAOOOOOO

ok i don't like you saying nauseas because i'm on TWO medications that make me nauseas and i just ate pls don't be gross

DAMN. i was gonna be like JARED? HOPWORTH? but it's jared 'smith.' gerard jared is kind of like michael

P.E. teachers creep me out but probably because the only one my high school has ever officially had got fired my freshman year for spanking girls in the locker room and they never actually replaced him they just had various sports coaches take over

yea this is freaking me out already i don't like it

oh that's so sad the dad fucking died poor kid omg

wtf was he possessed by the soul of cross country. what is the horror here. ohh running for his life ok thanks

oh so the horror isn't mr jared it's what happens to him i guess. sorry man i shouldn't have called you creepy

this is just how my friends describe morning cross country practice

yeah so i was right to quit cross country in 5th grade then!!! running IS the horror!!!!

NOT THE TAPE RECORDER WTFFFFF IS THIS ERROR. ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN ARCHIVIST.............................................................................................................................................................................................

AT A LOSS AT A LOSS AT A LOSS AT AT AT. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

we were right guyss it's an archivist...

IT SAID ARCHIVIST ALICE YES LOCK IN QUEEN LOCK IN SHE'S SOOOOOOOO HEHEHE SHE'S SO SMART I'M IN LOVE WITH U

yes alice connect those dots!!! connect them babe!!!!! i'm scared though to be honest with you

SHE DOESN'T THINK SHE KNOWS DUMBASS. PLEASE LISTEN TO HER OR I'M WRITING ANOTHER HATE POST ABOUT YOU. oh thank you sam i don't hate you

HOW I WOULD'VE EXPECTED HOW I WOULD'VE EXPECTED hey helen

has celia shut down. oh my god she sounds really scared. probably because helen tried to eat her in another universe.

CELIA'S SO SCARED HONEYYYYYYY. wait now she's bringing up the magnus institute LMAOO

bloody big basement lmao it's where they keep the bodies

at least 20 years? it burned down 20 years ago? who's reaching out after it burned what

HELEN'S LAUGH MADE ME JUMP LMFAOOOOO HELP

SAM MEETING JACK???? SAM MEETING JACK??????? THEY'RE SO CUTE WTF OMG ur baby's a tory HAHA

celia you are being watched honeyyy you are you need to connect some dots. alice style. obsessed with her.

calling her baby goblin after that baby episode that celia was mentioned by name in hello. hello.

ok sam let's go no longer being as selfish thanks sam.

awe that's adorable i actually think he's been really nice lately holy shit.

LMAOOO WHY DID WE GET AN AUDIBLE KISS ON EPISODE 26 I THOUGHT THEY DIDN'T LIKE THOSE

[neverwalka1one]

Magnus 24 - where we start at Baby (demonic).

Gwen? Gwen, did Alice put you up to this? Gwen? Please don't go back to hanging around the externals Gwen you're going to get et.

Lena is not buying this change of heart. She's gonna feed you to the Bonzo, you do know that, right? You're definitely getting eaten.

The health visitor isn't concerned about the mom's lack of memory about the pregnancy and delivery, huh? Not at all? Shouldn't be any record of this bit either? Huh. That's not sus at all.

Also nothing good has ever come of a nanny cam plz stop.

'Big Black Orbs' is something that belongs in a tweenager's first attempt at fanfic, not from a description of a baby, no ma'am that's not cute.

Neither is a 'long curly tongue' ma'am have you forgotten what human looks like? MA'AM?

Oh that nice girl Celia is being helpful, is she? IS SHE NOW?

Hey babe why are your baby's teeth sharp? How is this in any way normal to you?

Health inspector is deeply sus, is it Needles? Is NEEDLES your health inspector?

Um. I don't have a kid, but I'm pretty sure at no point should blood be involved in feeding, just throwing it out there.

Oh goody, baby background noises, they're absolutely unholy, thanks, I hate it.

No wait, I hate the squish noises more, please stop with the squish noises.

I TAKE IT BACK THE CRUNCH NOISES ARE THE WORST

Alice, raising objections right in front of the salad computers? Getting sloppy there. Not that I'm complaining about you guys staying out of the break room this week, that's fine.

Sam, hun, the tape recorders bite, they can definitely be murderous.

Hey, Celia supporting Alice, for the... win? IDK. Also seems sus, given she's the one egging Sam on.

Sam, honey, if you're not prepared to deal with scary murderous creatures, maybe, IDK, stop going to the Scary Murderous Creature Places? On purpose? For real?

Basira as a teacher. Uh-huh. That's a move.

They named their fake kid Humphrey. Oh god.

'I’ve always held the opinion that the world would be a better place if everyone just thought more.' Says the gal who used logic to escape a near-apocalypse. Sounds right.

God these two are the worst interviewers, the Ceaseless Watcher wants nothing to do with them.

[colin-becher-death-countdown]

Alice Dyer and Gwen Bouchard. Thoughts?

Not sure if you mean the ship or just the characters in general so I'll answer both

Ship: Eh, take it or leave it, it's not gonna make or break anything for me. Mainly I'm a platonic relationship person over romantic relationship person, it has to have something I really enjoy for me to actively ship them romantically. That being said if them being together gets rid of the love triangle (my greatest enemy forever) between Celia, Sam and Alice I am 100% on board with their relationship.

Alice: She's great fun (very jokey) and yet a buzz kill (trying to stop curiosity killing everyone) at the same time. I've loved many very similar characters so it makes sense I'd like her character. She's super chill and yet cautious and is reasonablly frightened when crazy stuff happens. I love that she just tunes out all the talkers and has fun reading through the stuff she knows is nonsense. Her take on it better to be ignorant then curious is flawed in it's own way (there is no war in Ba Sing Se) but I love that it's the opposite to what every other OIAR employee is doing at the moment. She's also lowkey very suspicious and I always enjoy when someone is up to suspicious activity, her and Celia feel disconnected enough from say Sam and Gwen that they don't feel too much like POV characters and they always seem like they're hiding something even with an open book type of personality. Oh and a great big sister I love seeing how familial relationships are played out especially in a horror. 10/10

Gwen: I wish I liked Gwen more. I love a good bitchy women in a story, but Gwen doesn't hit my criteria in bitchy women. First she's not all that bitchy, like yeah she's a bit rude to people but I think that's the repressed middle class English upbringing, she doesn't take any enjoyment in being bitchy. Also I would make a joke about her hating Mr Bonzo and blackmailing Lena since they are my pookies, but honestly understandable and very girl boss of her to go after that promotion. In the first episode I liked everyone's character and I didn't particularly like her but she fills a crucial role in the story that would feel empty if she wasn't there. She's very wet cat coded right now and I feel bad she's been going through so much horror so soon (no one in the archive was this traumatised after 23 episodes, sorry Martin) she deserves a break. I think she'll have some sort of a redemption in my opinion of her by the time the series ends, but right now she's a character I don't feel really any way towards other than I think her character is important to the direction the story takes, also I'm holding out to see what her relationship with her family is like (especially Elias god please I hope he's her older stoner brother.) 6.5/10

Funnily enough me and a friend of mine have completely opposite opinions on Alice and Gwen it's fun to have both sides in a discussion

[dragoneyes618]

More details about how the Isle kids cannot process or interpret emotions....

@tiredflowercrown tagged:

@shellyseashell tagged:

Yes to all of these.

Ginny doesn't even know what she's feeling.

Mal was raised to be a perfect copy of her mother. But she doesn't want to be her mother, she hates her mother, but she doesn't know what else she is besides a mini-Maleficent, so she hates herself too. Anything that's close to her, she pushes away, rejects, makes them as unlike her as possible. She did it with Maddy. She did it with Uma. She would have done it with Evie, eventually, if they hadn't gone to Auradon.

The only way Jay ever earned his father's approval was through stealing. Even years later, he'll habitually steal little trinkets to gift to Lonnie without even noticing.

Evie doesn't know how to have any relationship with anyone that isn't seducing a prince.

Sammy Smee was raised in an violent environment full of anger and shouting. Even once he was on Harriet's ship, well, Harriet also gets angry, and also shouts, because she was raised in that same environment. Sammy can't understand anything that isn't like that.

Freddie and Celia don't trust anything that's for free. Everything has to be for something. Everything is in exchange for something. No one is simply "friends" with anyone, they have to be getting something out of it. It's only a matter of figuring out what, and making sure you won't be left at a disadvantage. (And it can be inferred that Freddie and Celia had one of the better childhoods on the Isle, so if this is their view on relationships, imagine everyone else's!)

Squeaky and Squirmy trust Sammy to be their provider, their teacher, their caregiver, and no one else. They don't know how to relate to anyone who isn't him. They just sort of shut down. Not with their father, who loved them but never tried to protect them, not like Sammy did. At least Sammy tried. Not with the Hook siblings, who were always getting involved in various dangerous shenanigans and who scare them, just the tiniest bit, even though they also help them and take care of them. No one but Sammy.

Dizzy....Dizzy has two examples: Anthony and Lady Tremaine. (Her mother never even pretended to love her. Her aunt was too beaten down to show it.) Anthony loves her, and everyone knows this. But Anthony was raised to be a lord on an Isle full of the dregs of society, an Isle where everyone ridicules those with pretenses to greatness. Yet his grandmother insisted, and he doesn't know how to show anything but his facade. He tells Dizzy he loves her, and he does, but he speaks coldly, strictly, harshly. He rarely, if ever, shows anger. No outbursts of emotion; hardly any emotion at all. No raising his voice. No playing games, no hugs, none of the things Dizzy would like to do. And Lady Tremaine....she really barely feels any emotion at all, not anymore. Of course she loves Dizzy, she says. She's her grandmother. What kind of grandmother wouldn't love her granddaughter? If only Dizzy would do her chores quicker, better, quieter. If only she would behave well. Then she would surely show Dizzy that she loved her, more than just saying "Of course I love you Dizzy" without even a smile and sending her off to the salon. Or so Dizzy believes, anyway. Anthony has inherited far more of his behavior and mannerisms from his grandmother than he would like to believe.

And Claudine. You see, Frollo usually does not lose his temper. He rarely shouts or rages. He prides himself on keeping perfect control on his emotions. And so Claudine doesn't associate loud noises or shouting with his anger. No, she associates frighteningly calm voices, in an even tone, with no expression, excoriating her with the harshest of words. And of course she thinks she should be hurt. Anyone who cares about her would hurt her as a punishment, so she should learn to do better. She doesn't like it, of course, but it's what has to be done, right? Right?