#but it’s my corner of the internet and i don’t feel like making anyone deal with my shit lol

[jamminvroomvroom]

.

[lowkeychenle]

Opposites Attract [ZCL/NJM] (M)

Description: Your relationship with Jaemin started out simple--friends with benefits with zero complications...until there was one. That complication's name is Zhong Chenle, and after Jaemin agrees to expand your exclusivity deal to involve him, there's only one logical thing left to do...

Genre: Smut. That's it. It's literally 4.4k worth of smut.

This was a request! Thank you for requesting what turned into what is most likely the longest sex scene I have ever written LOL (and to the other anon in my inbox, my wonderfully Jaemle-fied brain is coming for you next)

Content Warnings: Explicit, rough, unprotected sex (don't do the unprotected part), Chenle says pretty girl again (not sorry) and also slut because duality (again?), Jaemin says princess and whore once i think? Overstimulation !!! and crying because of that...oh and also threesome? didn't know if that was clear lol

Word Count: 4,392

Pairing: Zhong Chenle x Reader x Na Jaemin (the lack of Jaemle gifs is a literal crime so HERE is a picture I found off the internet)

Juliet's Masterlist | Requests

Your arrangement is out of the ordinary, sure, but none of you are complaining. It started off fairly simple, with just you and Jaemin having your way with each other whenever you felt like it. You’d been friends with the boys practically forever at this point—you never kept secrets from them, and they never kept them from you, either.

That is…until you and Jaemin agreed to be friends with benefits. You both were much too busy to have anything real, and there honestly wasn’t anyone else you’d trust enough to not blab about it to all the other boys.

Chenle snuck his way in, figuratively and literally. You and Jaemin were normally very, very careful with this. None of the boys even had suspicions.

In group settings, he treats you like he treats the rest of them.

In private? You’re his princess, and he worships the ground you walk on.

That day, Jaemin texted you asking you to come over. It was the middle of the afternoon, and your activities were usually saved for nighttime. Either way, you didn’t hesitate. After almost six months of this arrangement, your body automatically responded to him. He never let you down.

He must’ve been frustrated about something because the two of you didn’t make it past the couch to his bedroom. Both of you were shirtless and he was pressed between your legs when his front door opened. Jaemin immediately pressed his chest to yours to cover you the best he could.

“Six months of everyone being ignorant to this has not been long enough,” Jaemin groaned, looking up at Chenle standing in the doorway.

He blinked rapidly at the two of you, in shock more than anything else. Nobody had even come close to suspecting the two of you.

“Dude,” Jaemin said. “Do you mind turning around so I can make sure she’s decent?”

“Yeah, duh. Shit.” Chenle whipped around to stare at the door, tugging his fingers through his hair.

Jaemin quickly grabbed your shirt and whispered an apology and a promise to make it up to you later. You took a deep breath and sat up on the couch, patting your cheeks to snap yourself out of your Jaemin haze.

“I didn’t know you two were a thing.” Chenle turned back to you, arms crossed over his chest.

You and Jaemin glanced at each other before Jaemin replied, “We’re not.”

“Oh, right. I forget that people who aren’t involved have sex all the time. Which is like…the definition of involved.” Chenle quirked an eyebrow.

“We’re not dating, is what he means.” You tried to explain it without spelling it out for him.

“So, he wouldn’t be mad if I asked you for a turn?” Chenle looked at Jaemin, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “You’d be perfectly okay with that?”

Jaemin’s jaw tightens. “It’s…Don’t be an idiot. There’s no feelings or dating, but it’s still exclusive.”

“Jaem.” You paused and studied Chenle closely. The way your mind strayed could simply be because you were interrupted right when an indescribable amount of heat flooded your body, but at this point, it didn’t even matter.

“What?”

“Why don’t we let him watch?” You tugged Jaemin closer to you and made brief eye contact with him before you dipped down to leave open-mouthed kisses along his neck.

Jaemin let out a shaky breath. “Is that what you want?”

“Ask him.”

Chenle stood there, watching you with laser focus as your hand moved down to palm Jaemin’s bulge through his jeans. His lips parted, tongue running over the edges of his teeth.

“Well?” Jaemin sighed. “Sit down and watch or get the fuck out.”

Without wasting another second, Chenle sat in the recliner and rested his elbows on his knees while he leaned forward.

You did this for two reasons—one, you’d always been attracted to Chenle. You’d always wondered what it’d be like to screw around with him, too, but that was mostly before things started with Jaemin. Two, having someone watch the two of you meant Jaemin would be going all out. He’d want to turn you into a moaning mess, to show that he was the one who made you feel good.

Jaemin is a tender lover, the type that memorizes every inch of your body and uses it accordingly. He’d be rough with you if you asked him too, but his favorite thing is watching you fall apart over and over again as he takes his time and pays attention to details. He knows when you’re close, the specific way to rub your clit to send you over the edge when his hips rutt against yours.

That day, Chenle did watch you. He didn’t get to do much more than that, but he got to witness the way Jaemin worshiped you. The way every single touch of his was deliberate in bringing you to the utmost peak of your pleasure—you went higher and higher every time you were with Jaemin.

He didn’t just watch, though. Not when Jaemin’s head was buried between your thighs, tongue-fucking you to oblivion. Chenle had taken himself out of his shorts and jerked himself off to the sound of your pleasure. When Jaemin finally slid his thick cock into you, he buried his head in your neck and kissed, licked, nipped, everything you liked. He fucked you with such precision, all while you were spread out wide on his couch, fully naked and on display for Chenle.

Jaemin paid him no attention. Only you. Only ever you.

“You fuck her raw?” Chenle’s voice was strained as his hand matched the pace Jaemin thrusted into you.

“Feels good.” Jaemin nodded, breath hitching when you clench around him. “Such a tight little pussy.”

A moan slipped past Chenle’s lips. The sound had you digging your nails into Jaemin’s shoulders. At that moment, you made eye contact with Chenle, and his hand jerked his cock faster. He started cursing quietly, eyebrows furrowing as he neared his end. Jaemin reached between the two of you and rubbed his perfect circles on your clit, and as your orgasm hit you hard, your back arched and you couldn’t contain your scream of pleasure.

When your vision unblurred, you saw Chenle with ropes of white on his T-shirt and his head dropped against the back of the chair. He gulped, trying his best to calm down. Jaemin groaned in your ear and spilled deep inside you, rocking his hips to help you come down from one of the best orgasms you’d had in a long time.

A week or so later when Jaemin gave you permission to initiate a similar relationship with Chenle, you didn’t hesitate. Luckily for you, Jaemin wasn’t possessive, and as long as you were still equally as interested in him, he didn’t care if you fucked Chenle, too.

The first time you did, you were floored and amazed by the differences between the two. Jaemin was tender, caring, gentle. You were royalty in his eyes, something to be worshiped. Chenle, on the other hand, was rough by default. He called you names that had your toes curling that Jaemin would probably punch him in the face for saying.

From that day forward, you fucked one of the two depending on your mood. They respected it and never questioned you, and the arrangement worked so well. Although the two of them stayed separate—they’d never fucked you at the same time, nor did either of them suggest it.

A shame, really.

And now, here you are—surrounded by your five oblivious friends and your two fuck buddies. What could go wrong?

Jaemin was good at being subtle, but when Chenle wanted to fuck you, you knew. A dark look would form in his eyes and they’d sharpen. Jaemin showed his want in more subtle ways, like when his touch would linger a tad too long on your shoulder, or when he’d move past you and touch your waist.

After the rest of the boys leave, Chenle and Jaemin stay behind. This isn’t unnatural, and honestly, they’ve been closer lately than they’ve been in a long time. You settle between them on the couch, closing your eyes and leaning your head on Chenle’s shoulder.

“You okay?” he asks.

“Yeah.” You nod.

Chenle puts his hand on your thigh, moving it higher and higher until it sits at the edge of your denim shorts. You immediately clench your legs together. Since that first time Chenle watched you and Jaemin, nothing like that had happened again. To have him touching you like this with Jaemin right next to you spurs thoughts in you that you’re unsure if either of them would be down with.

Chenle’s fingers slide beneath your shorts, teasingly rubbing along your skin. You glance over at Jaemin, sucking in a sharp breath when you see his eyes locked where you’re being touched.

“Look at you, Princess.” He clicks his tongue, brushing your hair behind your ear. “He’s barely touching you.”

Wetness pools at your core.

Chenle drags his nails across the hem of your panties. “Always so wet and ready. Bet you’d beg for cock, wouldn’t you?”

“Wouldn’t she look so good stuffed with two?” Jaemin reaches beneath your shirt and tugs your bra down to free your breasts. You gasp when he rolls your nipple.

“Fuck, she’d go crazy with you fucking her pussy and me fucking that pretty mouth.” His moves further, barely brushing against your clothed core. “What do you say, pretty girl? You want us both?”

Between Chenle’s teasing and Jaemin playing with your breasts, you can’t do anything but whine. You’ve dreamed of taking them both since Chenle watched you and Jaemin.

“Of course, she does,” Jaemin coos. “Look at her squirming already. We’ve barely even touched her.”

“Please.” You gasp, lifting your hips to try and get Chenle to apply more pressure.

“Who do you want to stretch you out?” Jaemin asks, pulling your shirt over your head before quickly unclasping your bra. “Don’t be shy, baby. Tell us who you want.”

“Both,” you moan. “Don’t stop touching me, please.”

Jaemin leans down to kiss over your chest while Chenle’s lips connect with your neck. You whimper, toes already curling at the feeling of their tongues leaving wet trails on you.

Chenle pops the button on your shorts, the undeniably simple motion making heat swarm every inch of your body. He tugs them off of you. You’re left in a pair of lace panties, but both of the boys are fully clothed. You pull Jaemin away from your breasts to kiss him hard, fumbling with the buttons on his shirt while Chenle fingers dance down your body to your core.

“God, Jaem, she’s soaked.” Chenle lets out a relaxed sigh. “Perfect little cockslut.”

When a shudder runs through you, Jaemin hums against your lips. “Did you like that, Princess? You like when he touches your pretty pussy while he thinks about fucking you like a whore?”

As the words leave Jaemin’s mouth, Chenle’s thumb presses against your clit through your panties and you slam your thighs together. Holy shit, that really just came out of his mouth. Your legs shake as you squirm.

“Don’t be like that,” Jaemin says, gripping one of your thighs while the other man grabs the other. The two of them wrench them apart so Chenle can continue his work.

“You want me to make you cum?” he asks, lips brushing the tip of your ear. “Gonna make you finish so much today, and you’re gonna take it like the good little slut you are.”

You nod, dropping your head back on the cushions. “Please. Please.”

He moves your soaked panties to the side, sliding two fingers in with ease. His palm presses into your clit with every thrust of his hand, and his tongue licks along your pulse. The two men are much too strong, and any attempts to close your legs is futile.

Jaemin latches on to the other side of your neck, nipping the base of it. You try your best to rock your hips, but the magic happening inside you doesn’t require your help. It never does when it comes to them.

Chenle adds a third, breath shuddering at how easy you take it, how much the wetness gushes around his fingers.

“Look at you,” Jaemin whispers. “So good at taking what we give you.”

You can’t even come up with coherent words. You end up mumbling gibberish at him as the bubble starts to form. It takes one last brush of Chenle’s palm on your sensitive bud to send you flying over the edge, your back arching as a scream leaves your lips.

The three of you sit in silence for a moment, even as Chenle gently thrusts his hand to help you come down from your high. The only sound is your rough breathing.

Jaemin reaches up to caress your face. “Why don’t you go wait in the bedroom? We’ll be in in a second.”

Although the last thing you want to do is separate yourself from them, you stand on shaky legs anyway. Chenle quickly grabs a handful of your ass, squeezing it before giving it a rough smack.

You’re only alone for a couple minutes at most before they follow you in. Having them both in front of you and towering over you is intimidating this way, but you don’t shy away from them.

Chenle grabs a pillow from the bed, tossing it on the floor in front of Jaemin while the latter pulls his shirt over his head and starts undoing his pants. 

“Didn’t want you to hurt your knees while you suck my cock,” Jaemin says, gesturing to the pillow. “Take your panties off and show me why you deserve to get fucked.”

You quickly do what he says, knees sinking into the soft fabric as your mouth waters at the sight of him pulling his pants down. You’re so concentrated on Jaemin, you almost don’t notice Chenle below you. His head rests down on the pillow, his hands already moving to explore the expanse of your legs.

“What are you doing?” Your face burns at the thousands of thoughts racing through you brain.

“None of that.” Jaemin grips your chin and lifts so you have to look at him. “Don’t pay him any attention when I need you like this.”

His shirt is absent from his chest, hard planes of muscle on display for you. You crave to lick him all over. He pushes his jeans and his boxers down his legs, eyes closing when you waste no time. You wrap your hand around his rock hard cock, jerking him slowly while you prepare yourself to take him in your mouth.

You take his tip in your mouth, swirling your tongue around. When you feel Chenle’s hands exploring the back of your thighs, you gasp. Jaemin uses the opportunity of your widened mouth to push himself further inside. He gently grips your hair, guiding you since you’re so distracted by what the other man is doing between your legs. You try to breathe through your nose, hollow your cheeks, do anything to aid in Jaemin’s pleasure, but your entire body shudders when Chenle squeezes your ass. You moan, reaching forward to grip Jaemin’s legs. That’s the only way you’ll keep yourself afloat between the both of them.

Your eyes water when Jaemin hits the back of your throat, causing it to constrict around him. He lets out a groan, his grasp tightening slightly. You feel Chenle shift below you, but you’re much too preoccupied to ask or see what he’s doing.

Hands still massaging your ass, Chenle presses a kiss to your throbbing clit. Your whine is barely heard while muffled by the cock thrusting into your mouth. Your knees wobble as Chenle flattens his tongue and licks up your slit, nails digging into your skin.

“That’s it, Princess,” Jaemin coos. “Your mouth is so perfect.”

You take initiative then, bobbing your head and taking him in as deep as you can while you grind down on Chenle’s tongue. Your moans increase in frequency as his lips wrap around your bud and his fingers circle your entrance.

Between the heavy cock on your tongue and the stimulation of your clit, your orgasm builds much faster than you anticipate. You never want this to be over. All you want is to be between them forever, feeling unimaginable pleasure at their hands.

“You’re doing so good,” Jaemin mutters.

You’re building and building and building, and then Chenle curls his fingers, and you scream around Jaemin. His hips buck involuntarily into your face, slamming his tip into the back of your throat. He pulls out of your mouth, chest heaving as he watches you crumble onto the man below you.

Chenle yanks you down until you’re sitting on his face, and he brings you down from your high gently.

“Fuck, that was close,” Jaemin groans, tugging his fingers through his hair. “Let her go now.”

One last lick to your entrance, and Chenle’s sliding out from under you, offering you help in standing up. His face glistens with your arousal, and unbelievably, it sends another wave of heat through your body. You kiss him, sighing at the taste of yourself on his lips.

Jaemin’s hands find your waist, squeezing you gently. “Get on the bed, baby. All fours.”

Your body is tingling from your recent orgasm when you pull away from Chenle to do as Jaemin says. Barely able to hold yourself up, you clench around nothing in excitement when the bed dips behind you.

They’re both out of sight, but you can always tell who’s touching you. Jaemin’s touches were soft and deliberate, and Chenle’s were rough and messy. Two completely different styles, but either way, they had you craving them both somehow.

“You ready for me?” Jaemin whispers, teasing your cunt with his cock. “You’re so fucking soaked.”

You only have to wonder about Chenle briefly, wondering where he’s at, because he climbs on the bed in front of you, the rest of his clothes shed and precum dripping from his tip. Your mouth waters all over again.

“Go easy on me, pretty girl.” Chenle bunches your hair in a ponytail. “I still want to fuck you when he’s done.”

Your eyes widen. Knowing Jaemin, there’s no way he’ll fuck you without making you cum. You’re already weak from the first two orgasms Chenle’s given to you, and the idea of four sounds so far-fetched. No way you’ll make it that many—your body would probably fall apart limb from limb.

Chenle taps the head of his cock against your lips, and you instinctively open your mouth for him. As he pushes in, Jaemin follows suit, both of them moving slowly, deliberately taking their sweet time in stretching you open to the max. Everything about this is perfect. Your wetness drips down your thighs and your toes curl and you feel so hazy and full.

You use your tongue to tease Chenle, stroking the underside of his cock and tracing along the prominent vein. Jaemin feels heavenly, his thick member plunging into you at a steady pace. Your legs and arms shake trying to keep yourself up. The last thing you should’ve done is tease Chenle, because he pushes himself so far into your mouth, he’s down your throat and your nose is against his pelvis.

“You’re too easy on her,” Chenle says to Jaemin, breath shuddering when you gag around him. “She’s just a little slut, begging to get fucked by both of us at the same time.”

Jaemin grips your hips, his working against you in fluid, steady motions. You feel them both everywhere. Even now, getting everything you wanted, you need more. The pleasure makes you delirious, your vision blurry and faded as Jaemin’s cock rubs against your walls in the most satisfying of ways. You lose track of how many sounds are muffled by Chenle. 

“Fuck,” Jaemin murmurs. “She fucking like that. She just got so tight.”

“Told you.” Chenle lets out a short, breathy laugh as he quickens his pace.

Jaemin reaches around you, reaching down to find your clit. He never fails to touch you in a way so perfect, you’re ready to crumble within seconds. Your jaw and arms ache, but it only aids your experience. 

Chenle pulls out of your mouth slowly, watching as a trail of spit stretches from your lips. Then he yanks your head back to make you look at him. The motion is so rough, tears spring into your eyes. You’re finally able to breathe properly, the whines, moans, and screams finally out in the air. He traces over your surely swollen lips with his thumb, gaze dark. Jaemin’s thrusts are met with lewd sounds of your wetness and skin slapping against skin.

“Be a good girl and cum for Jaem, slut.” Chenle tsks, pulling at your lip.

And you shatter, the loudest sound you’ve ever made escaping from you as Jaemin fucks you steady through your third orgasm. You can barely breathe, gasping as you quake. It doesn’t take long for Jaemin to follow suit, two more thrusts before he holds you against him, spilling deep inside you.

“As fun as the show has been,” Chenle begins, letting go of your hair. “I’m gonna need a turn before my balls fucking burst.”

Your arms can no longer keep you up, so your face falls into the mattress. Overstimulation has tears running down your cheeks, but nothing matters to you except finishing what you started.

Jaemin gives himself a second before he pulls out of you. He continues to hold your hips up until Chenle’s able to take his spot. Massaging your ass, he gives you a little bit to calm down.

“Be careful,” Jaemin mutters to Chenle.

You imagine the glare the latter gives in return.

“She’ll tell me if it’s too much.” He traces a finger up your spine. “Wouldn’t you?”

Unable to speak, you nod fervently, pushing back to encourage him. You’ve never been so overwhelmed in your life, but you craved more. A whimper falls from your lips as Chenle prods at your entrance.

“I know, baby,” he murmurs, gently scratching up and down your back. “You’re so fucking sexy, you know that? Wanting my cock when another man’s cum is still leaking out of you.”

You push back further, yearning for the stretch. They’re similar sizes, but Chenle’s thicker just enough for you to notice. No coherent thoughts swirl in your mind as you turn your head to look at Jaemin across the room.

His boxers are back on, and a tiny glimpse of worry spreads across his face. Your eyes roll all the way back as Chenle slides inside, every nerve-ending in your body on fire. He’s surprisingly gentle with you, barely rocking his hips to help you adjust to him and the sensitivity.

Jaemin makes his way over to you. Kneeling by the edge of the bed so he’s right in front of you. Your walls flutter incessantly around Chenle’s cock.

“You take us so well.” He brushes your hair stuck to your forehead from the sweat. “We’ll take care of you, Princess. You just gotta cum one more time, then we’ll take such good care of you.”

You whine at the thought of a fourth orgasm, but you nod. Jaemin’s thumb brushes your cheek, swiping away the tears. His lips meet yours, easily prying yours open so he can slide his tongue in your mouth. A low sound emanates from Chenle as his grip on you tightens. He thrusts faster, desperate for your attention, slamming himself inside you regardless of sensitivity.

You tremble, fisting the sheets as you cry out into Jaemin’s mouth. He stays put, but Chenle picks up his pace, his throbbing cock fucking you open.

“Good girl,” Chenle groans, his voice borderline whiny. Through his steady pace, his balls slap your clit with every thrust. You jolt each time, the sensitivity wreaking havoc on your body the closer you get.

When you explode around him, it’s sudden and quick. You hold onto the back of Jaemin’s neck, whimpering and gasping for air as if you can’t breathe. Chenle stutters, the clamp of your walls making him dig his fingers into your ass.

An elongated moan leaves his mouth as he bursts inside you. He stays inside you for a moment to allow himself to calm down. When he finally pulls out, he guides your practically limp body down to the mattress. Your chest heaves while you try to catch your breath, but the only thing you feel anymore is the overwhelming urge to fall asleep.

“You okay, baby?” Jaemin asks, tilting his head. “You know you look so pretty like this, right? With your lips swollen, eyes red and drooping…To think we made you this way…” he trails off, humming to himself.

When Chenle comes back, he’s got his boxers on and a towel in his hand. He turns you over, moving the cloth between your legs. You whine when it rubs against your sensitive bud, and Chenle whispers an apology to you.

“You should really take a bath or you’ll be sticky all night,” Chenle says as he wipes down your legs.

You shake your head.

Jaemin chuckles, a tiny smile gracing his face as he regards you. “Look how tired she is.”

 Chenle does his best to clean you up, and then he moves over you to give you a gentle kiss. You sigh in content, relishing in one of the rare moments of Chenle’s affection.

When it comes to after any given activity, Chenle always stays with you. He curls up in bed with you and kisses your face until both of you are ready to fall asleep.

Jaemin, on the other hand, is the opposite. At the beginning, it was your mutual understanding that one of you would leave.

Today, Jaemin watches as Chenle settles next to you, intrigued even more so when you curl into his chest and let out a deep breath. He decides he isn’t going to be the odd man out, so he joins.

The three of you sleep with limbs so tangled, you barely know who they belong to anymore.

[blainesebastian]

can't buy that kind of support

words: 2,123 ship: austin butler x reader summary: (requested by @louisejoy86 ): Reader and Austin see a magazine article that is less than flattering to reader. Austin first talks it out and comforts reader. Then he decides to deal with the writer of the article in any way that you feel most comfortable writing. notes: my whole world has been upside down but it was really nice to write this, just something fluffy :) warnings: none tag list: @killerqueenfan, @austinbutlermischief, @stylespresleyhearted

All you keep thinking about as you look over the editorial is that this was bound to happen. Anyone dating a celebrity is destined for a smear article or two but you’ve been dating Austin long enough that you almost thought it wasn’t going to happen. Any reading or post you’ve come across has been fairly positive, or hasn’t mentioned you at all other than to say ‘Austin Butler’s girlfriend’—which is just fine with you. Just there along the shadows but never in direct sunlight is the way to go.

Just sucks that it had to happen now, at the premiere of your television series. A lot of people seem to forget that you too were into film and had a sparkling career on the screen long before Austin. But what do the cameras see?

You greeting Baz Luhrmann at your premiere with Austin smiling in the background, the headline—Y/N L/N—Riding Boyfriend’s Coattails Into Fame? The article is rather scathing, as if the writer had some sort of personal issue with you long before you decided to date Austin and be at this premiere. Wincing lightly, you skim through paragraphs and try not to let your body temperature rise in a slow boil.

None of this even matters anyways—

right?

Standing with it in your hand, you move to toss it into the kitchen trash—only if it were that easy. Kinda lives forever on the internet. Letting out a soft sound, you finally turn the paper upside down and begin to put it into the trash, quickly committing when Austin rounds the kitchen counter.

You startle a little, a soft laugh leaving his lips, “Sorry.”

“I didn’t hear you come in.”

“It’s almost Halloween, I’m workin’ on my scare tactics.”

A soft laugh rumbles in your chest, your hand gently pushing his shoulder, “Don’t even joke about that.”

Austin takes a step forward, wrapping his arm around your waist to keep you close. “Says the girl who loves haunted houses?” He dips his head down to brush his lips over yours.

You smirk but give him a soft kiss back, “Yeah, not in my house though—that’s the difference.”

This unironically feels like the calm before the storm because it’s only a matter of time before Austin finds out about that article. Not that you don’t want to tell him? But there’s no sense in winding him up about it, either. It’s not something that can be fixed and you’re not even too upset about it anyways (something twinges in your chest calling you a liar but you’re not about to consume yourself with it, either. Nothing will come from that).

“Breakfast for dinner?” You ask curiously.

Austin nods, “Only if we can eat it in bed.”

You smirk—should be easy enough of a promise.

Moving towards the bedroom, you want to grab an oversized cardigan and a hairclip for yourself before you’re knee-deep in making bacon, hashbrowns, and pancakes all at the same time. You purse your lips—or maybe waffles.

You hear the weight of Austin walking into the bedroom behind you, “Big question—pancakes or waffles,” Then, as you turn, “Better question—bacon or sausage—”

And sentence remains unfinished on your lips because your eyes zero in on Austin’s hand…holding onto the article you just tossed into the trash in the kitchen.

“Were you not gonna tell me about this?” He asks, setting the article down on the corner of the dresser. He’s not angry or demanding, there’s a soft inflection of concern to his voice and…you get where he’s coming from. You and Austin are open with one another, you share feelings and frustrations.

You’d want for him to tell you if something had been bothering you too so you could listen, offer advice, or help in any way that you could.

There’s also just a part of you that doesn’t want to talk about it.

You resist the urge to clam up, slowly allowing yourself to be pried open, “There’s just…there’s nothing to talk about.”

Austin sits down on the edge of the bed, running a hand through his hair. You can tell he’s not pleased with that answer—not frustrated with you exactly, but the fact that it’s not so easily fixable.

“I mean—” You pick up the article from where he’s left it, going to toss it in the trash again where you hope it stays. Feels like it keeps rising from the dead, “I’m not gonna cause this big fuss over someone’s wrong opinion.”

You cross your arms over your chest,

“They clearly got nothin’ better to do if they’re just makin’ shit up about me.”

Austin shakes his head, “But you’re upset.” And there’s something in the way he says it; it’s clear that he’s also upset for you. Like he doesn’t like leaving this situation not taken care of, especially because you’re hurt.

But also, it makes a wounded laugh slip right out of your throat, “Of course I’m upset.” You don’t really have any other words of explanation, just kinda shrug your one shoulder in saying and? What is that going to solve?

You’ve learned not to let yourself stew about things or it’ll drag you down like an anchor in the ocean.

Austin looks from the trashcan to your face, a soft sigh leaving his lips and stands just long enough to tug on your sweater. He sits back down, legs parting slightly so that you’ve found a position sitting on his leg, your own between his. He wraps his arms around you and at this angle, his face can slip into the crook of your neck. Austin places a long kiss to your shoulder, making you close your eyes. You can feel your body unwind from his touch, knots coming out of your upper back and down along your spine.

You completely relax into him, your head tipping forward so that your nose and lips brush through his hair. Pressing a kiss to the crown of his head, you run your fingers through the strands, moving to tip his chin up so you can kiss him.

“I’ll be okay,” You promise gently, tracing your thumb along his jawline. “Just a bad day,” You shrug, and a bad article. But you refuse to allow it to tear you down.

You do, however, accept Austin straightening his shoulders and drawing you down onto the bed until you’re both laying against the mattress, wrapped up in one another. You close your eyes, breathing in the scent of him as he occasionally kisses your forehead, feeling better already.

--

A week after the dust settles, your friend Rose brings up the article again—it’s mostly an offhanded comment while you’re having dinner together and on a second round of margaritas.

“You know that guy who wrote the article about you, Steve what’s-his-name?”

You sigh softly, dipping a chip in queso. How could you forget?

“I heard he’s gonna call and ask you for an interview—some sort of re-write?”

Blinking, your eyebrows draw together in confusion because what? That— “That doesn’t make any sense.” Because it’s not like you filed a complaint or tried to talk to the author yourself, you just sort of let it go, let it fade into the background and along with it your negative feelings.

“Well you know I got that friend who works at the same place,” She grins—because right, Todd. You’ve heard plenty of stories that went through the sexcapades of Rose and Todd. “And he told me that your boyfriend showed up asking to talk to Steve.”

A laugh startles out of you because no, that doesn’t…that doesn’t make any sense. Why would Austin—

“Are you sure?”

“Todd knows what Austin looks like,” Rose raises her eyebrows, giving a slow sip to her margarita. “Says he was perfectly polite and personable. Promised an exclusive interview for his next upcoming movie if he’d talk to you, write another article.”

And man, alright, maybe Rose does know what she’s talking about because that’s Austin to a T—especially if he wants something.

“Did he overhear the conversation?” You’re still wrapping your head around this. If he went and talked to Steve about the article that’s…that’s actually really thoughtful. You know some girlfriends might not be thrilled about him drudging up buried ghosts, or going behind your back to do it but…

You can’t think it’s anything other than protective, sweet. Just makes you that much more thankful for him.

Rose grins, “I can tell you what Todd overheard.”

You hum warmly, waving the waiter down for another round of chips.

--

Here’s the thing—Austin knows that you are more than capable of handling things on your own. This article that has randomly exploded in your face is unfortunately not the first or the last inconsiderate writer you’re going to have to put up with. He knows that a bit of time has passed and that there’s no lingering sense of resentment but…

Seeing you upset just doesn’t sit right with him either—which is how he’s ended up in Steve’s office talking to him for the better part of a half hour.

The guy wasn’t too thrilled when he showed up unannounced either. Austin has a feeling this isn’t the only time the boyfriend of a girl that has had a negative article written about her has showed up to resolve the issue. Steve was probably afraid he’d hit him.

Definitely crossed Austin’s mind when he first saw the article, not gonna lie there.

“All I’m saying,” Austin leans forward on the couch in Steve’s office, his elbows resting on his knees, “You don’t know Y/N at all if that article is who you think she is. You should talk to her, get somethin’ real to print.”

With that comes promises, things he also has to deliver—but that doesn’t bother him. Not as long as you’re happy.

--

Thank god you live in a time of Ubers because coming home from dinner, you’re a bit more drunk than you intended to be. That toasty warm glow that wraps around you like a blanket and makes it slightly difficult to toe your shoes off after the door closes. Humming, you set your bag down along with hanging up your jacket, making a b-line for the living room.

“Hey,” Austin smiles at you from the corner of the couch, a soft laugh leaving his lips when you end up putting yourself very comfortably on his lap. “Good dinner?”

“Great dinner,” You smile, pulling your legs up. You situate yourself sideways, legs along the cushions, back against the arm of the couch. “But you know what’s even better? You.”

Austin smirks, his one arm slipping around your back while the other settles on your legs, “You know I did hear something about that.” He teases.

And you know he probably has no idea what you’re talking about, you’re barely moving through all the nice things you thought to say the moment Rose told you about all of this. The margaritas are making your head feel fuzzy but it does little to dim how deeply you feel about Austin, how much you love him, how good he’s made you feel by having your back.

You can’t buy that kind of support.

“Thank you,” You whisper, cupping his cheek with one of your hands.

Austin’s mouth opens slightly, his blue eyes brightening with the realization that you know. He takes the hand off his face to press a kiss to your knuckles. “Nothin’ you wouldn’t have done for me.”

While you know that’s true, it still means something that you can’t quite explain with words—just a consistent thrumming behind your ribcage.

“You’re gonna get a boyfriend award for this.”

Austin cups both sides of your face and gosh, his hands feel so large right now against your heated cheeks. There’s a small thrill that shoots through your stomach at the sensation of the cold metal of his rings on your skin. You must say something about his touch outloud because Austin grins,

“And you’re really pretty,” He presses a kiss to the bridge of your nose, “And tipsy.”

You purse your lips, as if in thought. “Maybe.” A soft laugh bubbles up in your throat.

Austin presses another kiss to your temple, “Can I take you to bed?�� He murmurs, lips still along skin. Smiling, you nod before wrapping your arms around his shoulders, pressing your face into the crook of his neck.

And even in your state of rose-colored glasses, you know he just wants to take care of you—nothing less, nothing more. Because that’s really what Austin does best.

[icaruspendragon]

Please stop making spn posts just let it die please

here’s the thing- i will not be doing that.

you see, there’s so much shit in this world. the horrors. the terrors. all of it. they’re out there. and something that makes the horrors and the terrors and all the other shit a little easier for me to deal with is talking about a silly little fifteen year long collective fever dream. it’s one of the last vestiges of adolescence i have.

when i was being tossed about in the sea of my grief, it was spn that kept me from drowning. it was misha collins dubbing himself my nemesis and participating in the mishapocalypse 2.0 that gave me a distraction i needed so terribly in the early days of me trying to learn how to be an only child. he didn’t have to. he could have ignored the whole thing. but he didn’t. and that’s something so special to me i don’t think i’ll ever have the words to articulate the depths of my gratitude. because the first time i felt joy after my brother dying was at a supernatural convention. it was when i asked misha about the silly comment and he had a screenshot of it on his phone ready to show me to prove he had done it, that was the first time i realized that one day i wouldn’t feel so full of nothing i didn’t have room for anything else. it was the community i made there that showed up for me time and time and time again that made me realize i may be lonely, but i wasn’t alone. and that wasn’t the first time the community around that show had made me feel that. and I’m certain it won’t be the last.

the first time i ever encountered fandom in full force was in 2013. that’s a decade of my life. and it’s because i decided to watch supernatural. and it was in this fandom space that for the first time ever, i felt seen and heard and valued. for the first time in my life, i felt like i mattered. and my thoughts mattered. it wasn’t until i found fandom by way of spn that i realized i had value and worth. it was that show that gave me some of the best friends i could have ever asked for. it is because of the spn fandom that i have been given so many opportunities. that i have a way to make an actual difference.

and it has continued to do that for me. even ten years later. there are people who i didn’t know existed less than a year ago who i couldn’t imagine my life without now. people who have been to my home. people who have become my home. people i have flown across the country to see and people who have flown across the country to see me. people who are my family. and i met them because we share the same level of brain rot for a cw show that caused a great deal of damage to our psyches.

we get to curate our internet experience. we get to look at and talk about and post about what we want. and if someone posts something we don’t care for, we don’t have to look at it or engage with it or interact with it. we can scroll. we can block. we can ignore. we each get to carve out our own little space online. we get to build a little home. and my home is full of my love for a lot of things. for avatar: the last airbender and the hunger games and percy jackson and fandom and fanfic in general. my love for poetry and art and words. and yes, my love for a show that ended over two years ago that has haunted corners of the internet since 2005. i have a lot of love for a lot of things. so i talk about and post about the things that i love because i don’t ever want to look back and say, “my god, i should have loved more.” and i’m allowed to do that. because this is my space. i built it just for me.

this silly little show with it’s silly little characters is the one thing i have from Before that has remained unchanged. and even if that weren’t the case. even if i didn’t have all this sentimentality attached to it. even if it was never a lighthouse, a buoy for me. even if it was just something i casually enjoyed. i would still post about it. because it makes me happy. because i’m not hurting anyone by enjoying it. because it’s given me a little blip of light in a dark world. and you don’t have to consume it if you don’t want to. that’s the beauty of all of us living in different houses. we can visit who we want, when we want. and we don’t have to visit the houses we don’t to. how wonderful it is, that we are the gods of this small thing. we get to create and dismantle and create again. as many times as we want. because this is our space to do with what we want.

and i want to post about my love for all things, including hit cw show supernatural. and i can. so i will. because i’m the one living in this house. and no one is making you come visit.

[starkjoy]

it’s insane how disappointed i am with this season… like i don’t even know how to deal w this lmao. i just feel like i’m being gaslit into believing all the stuff i previously thought about tomshiv’s dynamic and even tomgreg’s (in terms of the nero/sporus subtext) isn’t true. it’s a weird decision on the writers’ parts.

the whiplash is so odd to me that i can’t help but wonder if they’re intentionally misleading us for some late-in-the-game twist. that’s probably delusion though—simplest explanation is that they changed their mind or it’s shitty writing. seems to be a trend with hbo final seasons. let’s see how it all ends before we make any final decisions, though.

unlike failed internet darling mlm ships of the past, tomgreg isn’t a case of fandom creating a narrative and setting themselves up for disappointment—the writers intentionally implanted homoeroticism into their plotline. the actors knowingly played around with it. jesse literally called them homoerotic a few weeks ago. it’s really sad to think succession may fall prey to every other queerbait-adjacent (adjacent for now since the season isn’t over) curse, leaning into the queer undertones until they’ve written themselves into a gay corner with the internet convinced something is gonna happen, only to backtrack and pretend the vibes were never there at all. it’s too early to say if that’s the case here, but it certainly feels that way at the moment. i mean, what else are we supposed to think when the writers go from nero and sporus gay marriage as the through line of season 3, to disgusting brothers hetero sex tour comedic relief background noise with tomshiv redemption front end center? am I supposed to be enjoying this?

all that being said, on a positive note im glad we’ve seen how much closer tom and greg have gotten as partners, and that they’re scheming together and on the same page. i’m glad they’ve had at least one interaction each episode. i’m glad greg seems much more into tom than previous seasons, quelling any unrequited friendship accusations. i’m glad we got insane homoerotic undertones in episode 1, even if they’ve dropped off since then. but where we’re sadly lacking is depth—what was once the hallmark of tomgreg’s deeper connection in contrast to tomshiv’s emotional constipation. now greg makes sexual quips while tom rolls his eyes…end scene. and again. it was funny and cute at first, but now it’s getting boring. don’t they deserve a more interesting arc in the final season after years of build up? why are we subject to tomshiv rehashing the same shit we’ve seen for 3 seasons instead?

also, one of the most compelling arcs of season 3 was tom’s vengeance, especially because we saw it play out from his perspective. outside of his plane convo with greg, tom’s pov has all but been erased. even the tomshiv moments are from the lens of shiv’s experience. and as much as we may sympathize with shiv’s heartbreak over his betrayal and her dad’s death, it feels almost wrong that the show is trying to make me feel bad for her? we saw how awful she was to tom for three seasons, we saw from tom’s perspective how much she hurt him. i don’t feel bad for shiv on the tom front at all, the fact that she kept his baby feels wildly out of character, and frankly it’s a little insulting the amount of time the final season is spending trying to convince the audience otherwise.

hey, maybe my feelings will change in a few days. maybe the final episodes will change all of our minds. i’ll always have some hope for tomgreg, but right now it’s not looking promising given the treatment they’ve received so far. anyone with any positivity to share hit me up because I could use it!!

[matchagator]

Sheltered: Chapter 11

Lily learns more about the hybrids they took in and has a better understanding of Soobin's behavior. How will she act around him with what she knows and who is that at the door?

It's Spring Break for us writers, so stay tuned for a week of updates to make up for the delay or visit here for the complete story.

{Main Pairings:} Jeon Jungkook/Original Female Character, Choi Soobin/Original Female Character, Kim Taehyung/Original Female Character(s)

{Rating:} 18+

{Genre:} Alternate Universe - Hybrids

{Summary:} Realization finally dawned on Lily, knowing she now had the responsibility of three hybrids rather than three dogs. Her eyes grew wide while her eyebrows rose up in wonder before she turned her attention to her sister. The shocked expression of Rose had her smile sheepishly. “Well, at least we don’t have to name them.”

{Warnings:} Mature Language, Angst, Rut/Mating Behaviors, Prejudice, Unhealthy Family Dynamics, Aggression

{Taglist:} @chimsworldsstuff

After a long day filled with distracting thoughts of Soobin, Lily finally decided to approach Katharine with her questions about his behavior. If anyone had a clue, it would be her. She moved through the office, relieved to see most of her coworkers already left for the day so she didn’t have to worry about anyone eavesdropping. She peered around the corner to see Katharine diligently typing away at her computer, features stony as her focus fixated on her task. 

Lily quietly stood in the doorway, waiting for her boss to glance up as she cleared her throat for attention. Katharine snapped her gaze up and smiled as she realized her work friend was standing at the entrance of her office. Her typing ceased, “Hey, sorry I was emailing Hobi some information about a hybrid shelter.”

“Oh?” Lily walked into the room curiously, taking a seat in one of the chairs placed in front of Katharine’s desk. “What kind of information?” She was familiar with the work of her boss’s husband, but she was curious if maybe the information was tied to the boy’s legal owners. 

Katharine just waved her hand dismissively. “Oh, we’ve been talking about getting another one and this place looked nice.” She sighed, “It’s hard cause we can’t decide if we want a male or female. Males like to fight for dominance, and we wouldn’t want to make Jimin feel inferior.” She adjusted her posture, relaxing back into the cushion of her chair. “On the other hand, what if the female gets pregnant? I want hybrids, not children.” She tutted, lost in thought before shaking her head for clarity. “Girl, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ramble.”

“Oh, it’s fine. I understand.” She didn’t because just the idea of dealing with a litter of babies on top of managing the three hybrids overwhelmed her. Bringing a female home would definitely never be an issue. She shook the chaotic images of a house full of hybrids from her mind and redirected her focus. “So, males will fight? Is that always the case?” Maybe she missed something in her internet search.

“Not always, just when they weren’t raised together or, like, figured it out.” Katharine answered. Lily hummed as the response only confirmed that was not the root cause behind Soobin’s behavior. 

“Well, my…neighbor has a hybrid and she’s noticed that he’s more aggressive than usual. Do you maybe know why?” Lily leaned her elbows on the desk, sitting on the edge of her chair.

Katharine quirked her eyebrow and hummed in thought. “Well, depending on the breed, he could be protective or territorial. Um, could be abuse, neglect, illness…um, what else?” She raked her brain for more reasons and Lily felt clueless as she realized maybe there was a bigger issue than just his bad mood. “Do you know the breed?”

Lily glanced up to see Katharine stopped rattling off different causes. “He’s a Siberian husky.”

Katharine seemed surprised by that response. “How’s he been acting exactly?”

“Um…” Lily thought about it for a second. “I guess, he’s been aggressive with other hybrids and like, all up in my- I mean her business. Almost like he’s territorial, I think?” She didn’t know how to describe his temperament since it seemed to come in waves, and it was always directed at her and Jungkook. 

Her boss sat quietly for a second, wracking her memory for something that fit the description. She knew not all hybrids were exactly the same, but they were prone to inhibit common traits to their canine forms. Huskies were independent, smart, and friendly so it didn’t quite make sense that he was acting territorial. Finally, the light bulb shone in the darkness of her mind. “Did he hit his rut?”

Lily blinked as she stared at her boss with a blank expression, “What’s that? How do you know if he hit it?” She scrunched her fingers to make quotation marks around the technical term used in reference to a hybrid’s rut. 

Katharine bit her lip and nervously chuckled. “Well, it’s pretty much when they’re DTF…down to...you know.” She cringed as the words left her lips, vivid imagines of her hybrid, Jimin, going through his rut as he panted and humped his way around their home. 

“Oh….” The word dragged from Lily’s lips as the pieces began to click, realizing how needy Soobin seemed compared to the first few days. “So, how do you tell?”

Katharine sighed, “They’re pretty much a mess at that point so, if they’re acting out or trying to get your attention, that’s an easy sign. Their body usually gets hot, and they'll become sweaty or overheated. If they're territorial though…that usually means they want to…uh, you know…with that person.” She took a breath and looked Lily in the eye. “You said he was like that with your neighbor? Or with someone else?”

“Uh, yeah with her.” Lily answered nervously, her mind already running wild. She suddenly felt jittery as her imagination went rampant with possibilities, wondering if Katharine would confirm her thoughts.

“Then he probably wants to... her.” Katharine pursed her lips together, realizing the personal information she was gathering about this stranger and her hybrid. “Make sure to let her know cause he might get worse before he gets better.”

“What do you mean?” Lily’s mind halted from the seriousness in Katharine’s tone. 

Katharine glanced at the time, noticing that it was getting late, and began gathering her things. “Well during ruts, they’re instincts are to breed and the human part of them can only fight it for so long. If she doesn’t want him to force her into anything, she needs to make a decision and either give in to him or take a vacation.” She informed her friend as she got up, slipping her purse over her shoulder and tucking her folder under her arm.

Lily processed her words slowly, following her superior out of the office and heading down to the parking lot to head home. Katharine went back to talking about the possible new addition to their family, but Lily wasn’t paying attention. She was lost in thought, deciding what she should or shouldn’t do about Soobin. 

Katharine confirmed that he was most likely facing his rut, making Lily wonder when it exactly started and how much longer until it ended. However, the part that seemed to strike her the most was that Soobin’s behavior was mostly directed towards her and according to her boss, meant he wanted her. She bit her lip, imagining letting him have his way with her but shook her head to think rationally. Should she be doing that? Would things change if she did? What would Rose say? Or better yet, what wouldn’t she say?

When she finally reached her truck and slid into the driver’s seat, she gripped the steering wheel and laid her head against the top of it. “Shit.” She cursed softly to herself, upset that the information she sought after ended up bothering her. Now she had to face Soobin and she wasn’t sure how to act around him. She exhaled as she lifted her head, turning the key to her ignition; the roar of the engine only caused her body to shiver more with the gentle vibrations of the motor mixed with her sizzling nerves. 

—

Back at home, Soobin and Taehyun were playing Mario Kart, challenging each other again and again. Taehyun was ahead in the number of wins, but Soobin was determined to beat him. Jungkook watched them curiously, picking on the husky with each loss. The eldest hybrid sighed as boredom seeped in, glancing in the direction of Rose’s bedroom. He distinctly remembered her mentioning she had to do something and for them to keep busy, but beyond the television, there wasn’t much to do.

He pushed himself up from the couch, walking towards the long hallway. Taehyun noticed him leaving and called after him, “Where are you going?”

“I’m bored.” His voice was void of any emotion, conveying his indifference to their current activities.

“Did you want to play?” Taehyun held up his controller even though Jungkook moved past him.

“No.” Jungkook grunted as he turned the corner, pushing open Rose’s bedroom door. 

Rose was sitting in the middle of her bed with her legs crossed underneath a textbook and notebook perched on her lap. She pressed the end of a pen against her lip as she deeply thought of the information displayed before her. Her headphones looped over her head as she wore a pink leisure top and gray sleep shorts. Jungkook wordlessly moved to the bed after shutting the bedroom door and grabbed the books from her lap, placing them beside her. She hollered in protest as he plopped down beside her, preparing to lie down before she abruptly slammed the books back on her lap. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” She asked, pulling the headphones from her ears to hear his excuse.

His eyebrows narrowed, glaring at the books as he pushed them off from her lap and firmly put his head there. “I’m bored.” He answered, closing his eyes as he tried to rest.

Rose threw her hands up in frustration and then scooted back along the bed, letting his head fall to the duvet. “JK, I need to study. Go do something else.” She moved to the side of the bed, swinging her legs off the sheets and getting up to study in Lily’s office. 

A small pout protruded from Jungkook’s lips as he watched her gather her study materials to leave the room. She only managed to take one step away from the bed until arms wrapped themselves around her middle and pulled her back. She stumbled as the back of her knees hit the bed, dropping her unceremoniously onto the duvet. She turned to protest but was surprised to witness Jungkook curl around her, tucking his body to spoon her like a body pillow.     He looked up at her with his large puppy eyes and Rose sighed as she sunk into the bed. “Fine, you can stay, but I need to study.” She lifted her legs up on the bed and crossed them again, resuming her original position. 

 Jungkook made a noise in his throat and shifted so that he could lay his head by her thigh and let his body curve around her back. The position was similar to the way he slept in his dog form and Rose couldn’t deny how endearing he seemed as he rested his eyes, digging his scalp against the plush comforter. 

 A soft smile graced her face as she tentatively reached a hand towards his hairline, dipping her fingertips through the forest of his roots to lightly scratch his head affectionately. He peeked at her from one eye and Rose pulled back, worried he might not want her to touch him. He reached up to grab her wrist that hovered just above his face and pressed her palm against his scalp. “Don’t stop.” His voice was gruff, but not in an aggressive way; the sound was almost relaxed.

 His grip on her wrist released and Rose continued to massage her fingers through his hair, opening her book back up to resume in her study session with her unoccupied hand. A small unrecognizable noise rattled in Jungkook’s throat before he closed his eyes, his body melting with her touch.

 “I’m home!” Lily hollered as she entered from the garage. Rose paused her affections as she heard the clamor of Soobin and Taehyun greeting her, expecting Jungkook would seek out her sister for entertainment. When he remained in his position despite the noise just within the hallway, she glanced down to find him practically asleep. His face brushed closer to the skin of her thigh and his breath blew a soft stream of warmth where his mouth hovered. 

—

 Lily changed into her comfy sleepwear with every intention of relaxing from a very interesting day that might stretch into the night as she considered the information about Soobin’s rut. When he and Taehyun greeted her, she could see the way his eyes were dilated, the pupils nearly engulfing his entire iris. She glanced at herself for a moment in the mirror, wondering what made her appealing to the hybrid or if it was simply based on the fact that he spent the most time with her. 

 The sudden vibration of her cell phone caught her attention, moving over to her bedside table to check the caller ID. She cringed as soon as she noticed it was her mother and almost didn’t answer but had a feeling she needed to pick up. “Hey, mom.” She spoke into the phone as she leaned it up to her ear. 

 “Hello, my child!” Rebecca sang dramatically, causing Lily to feel a pit in her stomach. Her mother sounded way too cheery, which only meant trouble for the sisters. “Are you busy?”

 Lily forced a smile on her lips to subconsciously brighten her voice. “Of course not. What’s up?”

 “Oh good, 'cause I’m on my way.” Lily nearly choked but held her breath as she listened to the distant sound of a car in the background.

 “On your way? Here?” 

 Lily was wide-eyed, glancing around her room to see all the boys' stuff lying around. Panic was setting in as she waited for her mother’s confirmation. “Yes, I’m bringing dinner. It’s one of those premade meals at the store…” Rebecca began to ramble on about how to cook a container of food as if Lily didn’t know how to read directions or ever cooked in her life. Lily blocked her out as she scrambled to throw the boys' things somewhere inconspicuous. 

 “Um, how far are you?” Lily interrupted, worried that her mom decided to call her at the very last minute.

 “Well, I just left my house about ten minutes ago. I just reached the interstate when I called you.” Rebecca responded through the phone, switching into the fast lane without properly using her turn signal. 

 Lily calculated the time in her head, mildly grateful that her mom wasn’t just down the street. “Okay well, see you when you get here.” She was trying to get off the phone so she could warn the others. 

 “Why are you rushing me off the phone?” Rebecca furrowed her brow, ignoring the honk from the car she cut off just a moment ago.

 Lily stuttered for an answer, “I-I’m not. I just want to clean up a little before you get here.”

 “Oh, you don’t have to do that.” Lily fought the urge to roll her eyes at the blatant lie, knowing she couldn’t possibly count the number of times her mother scrutinized the cleanliness of her house. “Well, I guess if the house is messy, I’ll let you go. See you soon!”

 The call disconnected and Lily bolted to Rose’s bedroom. Upon opening the door, she faltered a moment seeing Jungkook cuddled up on the bed with Rose petting his head softly as she glanced over her textbook. “Hey!”

 Rose heard the muffled sound and looked up to find her sister’s manic expression before pulling off her headphones. Jungkook stirred when Rose’s hand pulled away. “What’s wrong?” Rose asked, worried about what caused her sister such distress.

 “Mom’s coming here, like now.” Lily’s words came out in breaths as her body shook nervously. 

 Rose’s jaw dropped, a pit of dread plummeting in her stomach. “Shit.” She snapped her book shut and got up from the bed as Jungkook groaned from the disruption of his comfort. “How much time do we have?”

Lily thought about it, “Um, probably forty-five…ish.” Rose cursed again as she realized the house was not ready for a visit from their mom. “Okay, just hide all of their stuff and I’ll clean up as much as I can.” Rose nodded her head and began gathering all of Jungkook’s things lying about in her room.

Lily bound into the living room to find Taehyun and Soobin looking at her with concern. “We need to clean! Let’s go!” She clapped her hands with emphasis, relieved when they jumped up from the couch and followed her directions. Lily tackled the kitchen, making sure it was presentable since her mother would be nosing around while the meal cooked in the oven. 

The house bustled as everyone worked together to make everything presentable except for Jungkook, who moved at a snail's pace to “help.” Lily was erratically cleaning the dishes when Soobin came into the kitchen. He stood close, sensing her unease. “Can I help?”

Lily whipped her head to the side to find Soobin and a wave of heat rushed to her cheeks. She was already on edge because her mom was coming but being around Soobin after the night before was almost too much. “No, Soobin. I’m fine.” She continued to work on the dishes without realizing her hands were shaking behind the speed of her motions as she scrubbed the dish. 

She also overlooked the rigid tone that projected her words to him, causing him to feel dejected. He didn’t understand why she was acting this way and thought about their actions the previous night. Did he imagine her emotions and actions in the haze of his rut? Did he push her too far? His chest felt heavy as his shoulders slumped in defeat, thinking about how she didn’t want him.

Lily heard a small whine from the hybrid and glanced over to see the deep pout on his lips that nearly broke her resolve. Her drive home was difficult when all she could think about was how much she wanted him, but she was trying to be rational about it. She was out of her element and scared of what would happen based on her actions, but she never wanted to hurt him. 

She quickly dropped the dish and sponge before cleaning off the residue to stop him from leaving the kitchen. She cupped his cheeks, letting herself relax as his hands moved to her hips. “I’m sorry. I’m not upset with you. It’s just…my mom is well, a lot to handle.” His pout lifted as her nerves settled and her scent filled his lungs. “Once she’s gone, I’ll make it up to you. Anything you want…” 

She pulled back as she realized the mistake of her words, the heat invading her skin when he slightly smirked down at her. “Anything?” He hummed, leaning in close as his pupils engulfed his irises again. He was satisfied by the loud drumming of her heart as he diminished their proximity. 

He slowly maneuvered her against the counter, practically caging her from escaping his intense gaze as he looked at her as if he were ready to take her for all her worth. Lily stuttered again, dipping her tongue over her bottom lip. “Uh, w-well-”

“Are we done yet?” Soobin nearly growled when he snapped his head to find Jungkook standing at the entrance of the kitchen, apathetic to the current situation transpiring between the pair. 

“Um…” Lily slipped away from Soobin, much to his disappointment, and looked for her sister. “Rose, are we good?” She called out when she didn’t see her right away.

Rose came in from the garage, “Yep, put all their stuff in your truck for now.” She clapped her hands of the dust from her successful handiwork. Everyone was now huddled in the living room and that’s when it dawned on Rose that mom was going to be meeting their new household members. “So, how do you plan on telling Mom three men live with us and sleep in our beds?” She crossed her arms over her chest, watching her sister have a mild breakdown as the thought finally came to her.

“Um…you’re dogs! Be dogs!” Her panic set in as she anticipated her mother’s arrival any minute. Soobin and Taehyun shrunk down into their canine forms as Lily quickly scooped up their clothes to throw somewhere. She turned to grab Jungkook’s things but found him standing as his human self. “JK, please.”

Ding! Dong!

Soobin and Taehyun ran to the door, curious about the visitor, barking in greeting as Rose followed to open the door for their mother. She paused, waiting for Jungkook to switch forms, but feeling Rebecca’s impatience radiating through the thick wood of their front entrance. Lily glared at Jungkook, “Don’t do this now. I need you to be a dog just until she leaves.” She rarely was impatient with him, but she knew if her mother met them in their human forms, she would interrogate them. “Please.”

Jungkook sighed, letting his body slump down to the floor as if melting into his doberman form. Lily breathed with relief and snatched the clothes before tossing them in the laundry room, finally nodding for Rose to open the door. 

Rose plastered a fake smile on her lips as she welcomed her mom. “Hey!”

Rebecca was instantly startled by the large fluffy dogs that jumped for her attention. “When did you get dogs?” She asked as she maneuvered inside with the packaged meal in hand. Luckily, their mom was fond of animals more so than people and greeted them with mild excitement. “They’re gorgeous.”

The sisters bit back their laughter as Taehyun and Soobin wagged their tails from the compliment. Lily reached out for the tray of food, moving into the kitchen to start the oven right away to get the dinner over with as soon as possible. Jungkook sat in the middle of the hallway glowering at the woman as she moved further into the house. 

“You have three? Are you sure you can handle that?” Their mother asked. 

After setting up the oven to begin preheating, Lily glanced back towards Rebecca. “They were lost so I took them in. I think we’re doing a pretty good job.” She finally answered, feeling the familiar sense of insecurity creeping in that came from a visit with their mom. 

Rose pushed Jungkook’s intense demeanor to the side as she brought her mom to the living room and went through streaming options to entertain their guest. Taehyun jumped on the couch and placed himself in Rebecca’s lap, forcing her to give him attention while Jungkook kept his distance, soft growls rumbling in his throat that only Rose could hear. Rebecca ruffled Taehyun’s fur with a smile, “This one is full of energy. Do you walk them often?”

Lily sighed as their mom began her interrogation, questioning their ability to care for the three hybrids. “Yes, of course.” She opened the package of the meal, reading the instructions before she noticed the size of the serving. There was no way that would feed the women, let alone the additional hybrids and she couldn’t exactly feed them stuffed peppers without it looking suspicious. 

She pulled out her rice cooker and tossed 3 cups of uncooked rice in the pot before scavenging for some protein and vegetables to create a meal for the boys. She found some shredded carrots and leftover chicken that would work perfectly. She placed them on the counter before the oven signaled that it was fully heated. She pulled back the film over the package and placed the dish in the oven before moving into the living room to join her family. 

She noticed Jungkook and Soobin were just sitting on the edge of the living room carpet, one waiting for her and the other avoiding the intruding presence. “Come on.” She spoke softly, brushing her fingers over Jungkook’s scalp to feel how tense he was. The way he flinched from her touch was a clear indicator that he wasn’t very happy about their predicament. 

She continued to the couch finding her spot on the chaise as Soobin jumped up next to her and placed his head in her lap. Rose put on a thriller as their mom enjoyed the genre and hoped that would keep her from asking any more questions. “What are their names?” Rebecca asked, much to Rose’s chagrin.

Lily froze, meeting Rose’s stare. Lily looked at Soobin, trying to think of a name on the tip of her tongue. “This is Chief.” She wasn’t sure why that was the first thing that popped into her brain, but just rolled with it as she fixed her gaze on Taehyun. “That’s Bullet.”

She then turned to Jungkook as he slowly crept to the couch to sit at the far end near Rose’s feet, his stare fixed on Rebecca. She looked at the bulky frame of the doberman and blanked. Rose could see her struggle and glanced down at the dog by her feet, a smirk crawling over her features. “Kookie.” She ruffled the short fur on the top of his head, laughing as his ears flopped with the motion. 

Jungkook growled up at her before fixing his stare back towards Rebecca. Their mother looked at her daughters skeptically as she digested the names. “What a sweet name for such an aggressive dog.” She commented as she turned her attention to the movie.

Lily became tense as she heard Jungkook’s growl amplify and looked toward the other end of the couch to signal for him to calm down. He refused to look in her direction and Lily waved towards Rose, mouthing “Behave.” Rose reached down and gently scratched Jungkook’s head just as she did before their mom decided to pay them a last-minute visit. He relaxed a little with her touch, but just enough to move his stare away from Rebecca and focus up on Rose.

Time passed as the family sat in the living room, trying to enjoy the movie while waiting for dinner to be finished. The sisters could hardly pay attention, too occupied with making sure the hybrids stayed in their forms and behaved. The sound of the rice cooker was the salvation that broke the tension in Lily’s shoulders. She leaped from the couch, surprising Soobin as he watched her leave with a whine. 

“Is that the peppers?” Rebecca called after her eldest daughter. 

Lily looked towards the oven and saw the timer still had ten more minutes. “No, just the rice.” She unplugged the cooker and lifted the lid to fluff the rice. 

“Rice? For what?” 

The eldest brunette placed the lid back on the cooker and racked her mind for dishes to use for the boys. “It’s for the dogs.” She answered, sighing in defeat when she realized they didn’t have dog bowls since they ate in their human form for the most part. 

“Wow, you spoil them, don’t you?” Rebecca cooed at Taehyun as his tongue hung from his mouth, loving all the attention.

Rose laughed and rolled her eyes. “Oh, you have no idea.” She gave Jungkook a knowing look, her smirk ever-present on her lips.

Lily worked on prepping the rest of their meal, using their normal bowls, be damned what her mom might say about them being used for animals. She scooped a spoonful of rice into each dish before placing some pieces of chicken and carrots on top. She heated the dishes in the microwave to warm up the toppings for just a minute and pulled them back out to mix the contents of the bowls. 

Beep! Beep! Beep!

The oven’s timer went off, letting Lily know the stuffed peppers were finally cooked through and ready for consumption. She bustled to get everything together, placing the peppers on a serving plate and centering it on the dining table. “Dinner’s ready!” She hollered, dashing back to the kitchen to grab plates and utensils. “Mom, what would you like to drink?” Lily worked hard to cater to their mother, trying to avoid any more tension until she left. 

After preparing the table and setting the dogs up with their bowls, Lily finally relaxed into her chair. Conversations were brought up about school and work, their mom beaming with enthusiasm as her daughters achieved titles for themselves, climbing up the social hierarchy. Soobin munched on his food as he sensed Lily’s nerves buckling from Rebecca’s questions about promotions and raises. 

“It must be difficult taking care of three dogs and your sister.” Rebecca sat back, fixing her stare at her eldest. “You need to meet someone who can provide for you.”

Lily bit back the urge to roll her eyes, remembering how ecstatic her mom was about her ex. She went to respond, but Rose cut her off. “Lily doesn’t take care of me; I take care of myself.” It was true, Rose worked hard to pay her own bills and helped with some of the house utilities. 

“Oh, I’m sure you do, but you’re just a waitress now.” The simple phrase pissed Rose off. She knew she was working hard to graduate and make more money, but she hated that her mom belittled a job that was considered a career for others. 

Jungkook scarfed down his meal, the hairs on his back bristling with the waves of frustration rippling from the girls. He noticed Lily nudge her leg against Rose’s, shaking her head disapprovingly. It made him wonder what their silent communication meant as they just let this woman belittle them since she arrived.

Taehyun finished his meal and meandered his way toward Rebecca, looking up at her with his large puppy eyes before he began whining for food. Their mother cooed down at him, petting his fur. “They really are quite good…well, except one.” Her eyes flickered towards the doberman, who slobbered over his food. “He just doesn’t seem like a good fit.”

“Mom...” Lily exhaled, ready to stand up for Jungkook, but was cut off by Rose.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” The youngest was beyond irritated that her mom was dismantling their peaceful evening and then making jabs at Jungkook. Her patience was running thin.

Lily tried to signal for Rose to abort her mission and cut this topic before it escalated, but her sister kept her focus on their mother. She yelped when she felt a cold, wet nose pressing against her thigh and glanced under the table to find Soobin, nuzzling his snout against her. She reached down and brushed her fingers through his thick hair, smiling as he chased the feeling of her hand on his head. 

“Well, I’m just saying Dobermans are very aggressive dogs. You two are better suited with Chief and Bullet.” Taehyun’s ear lowered against his head, confused by her words. It was the three of them and would always be. Jungkook took care of them; they needed him, otherwise, they would have never found their new home. “Three dogs are just too many.”

Jungkook stopped eating and hunched down like a predator about to pounce on his prey, approaching the table as he bared his teeth, snarling at their mom. Rose turned in her chair to see Jungkook stalking towards her mom. “Kookie…” She warned, hoping he would behave just by the tone in her voice. 

Their mother boldly looked into Jungkook’s glare and waved her finger with a tut of judgment. “See? That’s just no good. He’s a liability.” Jungkook snapped his jaw at her as he barked loudly in warning. “Bad dog!” He lunged forward, ready to bite the offensive finger she pointed at him accusingly, but Rose dove on top of him and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him against her chest as he fought to attack.

His demeanor set the other two off, Soobin howling at Lily, standing before her protectively. Taehyun barked at Rebecca, baring his teeth in defense of Jungkook. Lily tried to guide the others away while Rose wrestled Jungkook. “You can’t handle him. He needs proper training.” Their mother insisted as she stood up from her seat, nervous that Jungkook would break loose from Rose’s hold.

“Just shut up!” Rose grunted. She laid her head against Jungkook’s back when he stopped growling. Everyone froze as they looked towards Rose, not used to her speaking up so rashly. She wasn’t afraid to share her opinion, but she never really lashed out. “Yeah, he’s a lot sometimes, but he probably never had a good home.”

Jungkook relaxed against her hold curious by her words. Was she defending him? Rebecca narrowed her eyes at her youngest, “Excuse me? Did you tell me to shut up?”

Lily panicked as she wrapped one arm around Soobin and Taehyun’s neck. She only hoped her sister didn’t dig them further into the grave.

“Yeah, I did. Kookie is my dog, and I don’t appreciate the way you talk about him.” Now that he was settled, she gently stroked his fur with a smile ghosting over her lips. Her mind drifted to his actions at the diner, how he stood up for her and in that moment, she wanted to return the favor. “So, what if he’s a doberman? It doesn’t matter. He’s the best and there’s nothing you can say to change my mind.”

Jungkook looked back at Rose, his large eyes curious about her words. Did she really mean that? He could sense her ease and knew she was being sincere. His body chased her touch, nuzzling his head back into her palm for more affection. Lily watched in awe, the long-awaited moment where her sister finally accepted Jungkook into their home was unorthodox, but just as gratifying. 

Rebecca huffed in response to Rose’s comments, lifting her nose up at the doberman regardless of her daughter’s argument. “Don’t cry to me when he bites someone.” 

Previous | Next

[starwrote]

ind & selective genpact & honkai multimuse written by binx ( 21+ they/them ) headcanon based, divergent, and open to ocs. drama free zone, but not spoiler free. please read rules and muse roster with links listed here or on blog. icon border & dividers cred here. // mobile navigation including roster here. all new muses will be tentatively added here.

revamped 9/24 w/ new roster. always accepting memes to initiate things, but only accepting starter requests from the new starter call. a study in : testing fate and exploring what destiny means. a sense of loss and fear of the unknown. bountiful silver linings and overcoming failures. a written connection of the stars above.

feel like i missed a reply? please msg me or view this post for info.

& G U I D E L I N E S. FOR MOBILE

welcome to a multimuse loved dearly by binx (they/them, but will also respond to she. 21+ and CST.) I work fulltime as a pediatric pharmacist and have very limited time to be active on tumblr much, therefor I rely on a queue system to get me through workdays. aside from lack of freetime, my health often staggers me from doing anything due to a lot of pain and immense anxiety. If you do not like waiting quite a bit for replies, then I am not the writing partner for you sadly. 

credits. my blog theme was crated by MARUJA/HYRULESHOP with the link on the bottom right corner of the page. my icon border is made by poetryrph, and the psd was made by me. gold/yellow/pastel purple/blues.

this blog runs off of mutual exclusivity to interact. unfortunately my draft count is super high and i have to limit myself to what i can realistically take on in my small free time. i ask that if we do not have a mutual basis (aside from the exception of sideblogs) please do not interact with my starter calls / send in memes to interact. i also tend to hardblock personals who spam my posts or rb things not intended for personal fanfiction.

please to not pressure me to reply faster or into a ship. sometimes i go all week without a single post other than ooc updates. those who are in the medical field would understand my levels of exhaustion. i never ignore anyone, dms or discord, including posts tagged for me - tumblr eats things and i am most likely napping. please have chemistry or some sort of partnership with me before assuming a ship.

no hate zone, none what so ever. this again falls under the lines of me having 0 time to even know whats happening on the internet/tumblr itself. if i am writing with someone known to be problematic please let me know. i don’t involve myself with callouts even if they are helpful, and anon is off to keep unwanted issues even if it’s to bait drama. 

triggers. this goes with the rule listed above, vague blogging and callouts actually spike my anxiety pretty bad. i deal with a lot of negativity within my workplace and rely on this place to be safe for me. aside from this, i ask for all topics and images tagged regarding: spiders, eye gore, domestic abuse, pregnancy, and trypophobia.

i do not do commissions for edits / borders / etc. i just casually make things as i feel inspired. if anything it helps me ignite muse. if you need commissions i’d be happy to reference @hyruleshop.

let’s be kind to each other. that is all. always feel free to message me if you feel a need to connect muses, or just chat.

[canongf-archive]

my life is already shitty and now I have to see this ship with my only comfort character everywhere with everyone/other famous artists/mutuals supporting it it feels like a nightmare a legit slap in the face from the universe telling me I don't fkn deserve it I'm ltrl cryin lmao n blocking isn't enough what's the point of a fandom/group if u don't get the shallow social validation you desire? sorry for the vent n I love ur blog<3

anon!!! i am so sorry!!! 💗

i do not know if there is anything that i can say that will make you feel better right now. but i want you to know that. even if all of this feels like a sign, even if all of this feels like the universe telling you that you don’t deserve it, it’s not. it’s not. it’s shitty!!! and it’s so hard to deal with!!! i completely understand why you’re feeling so broken!!! but it’s not a reflection of you. you have just as much of a right to love this character as anyone else. no one will ever love them like you do. no one will ever know them like you do. and on the worst days, this is something that i like to hold onto. 

i wish i could take away your pain and i am sorry that i can’t!!! but i am grateful that you felt comfortable enough to share your feelings with me. i am grateful that this blog could be a safe place for you to vent, even just for a minute. i hope you feel better soon. i hope that you find peace and i hope that you find a lil corner of the internet where you feel supported and encouraged and you get the validation that you deserve. sending you all my love!!! 💗💗💗💗💗

[kurepritchard38]

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[theyummyinsides]

oopsies

People can judge if they want, but being picked apart is fun, is thrilling, being figured out, sneaking and being caught, and if you experienced some abandonment in your life, you'd know the joy and bliss that it is being thrown a couple crumbs of attention your way, considering my whole life I've been self sustaining in an almost all way, no dad no mom, no protecting nor caring, and I don’t say it in a sad or self blaming way, is just the way things happened, no one asked for it, hoped for it, but it still happened, I never saw my own parents for more than a couple hours or minutes even a day sometimes, and that never affected me, at least not before, not when I wasn’t conscious enough to see and feel and comprehend the depth of it, I now can see and deal with the backlash, the abusive relationships, the patterns, the toxic traits, the self harm and destructive tendencies it left me, I enjoy letting that venom out of me and into others sometimes, I remember taking time out of my day, putting effort and feeling into talking to strangers on the internet, making them fall for a girl it wasn’t even years closer to the age she said she had, luring them into their own fantasies with me, digging a deep enough hole to leave a mark, a memory, maybe even a resentment towards me, doing what they wanted, showing what they asked for, saying what I knew was gonna make their balls tighten and stomach drop for a second and think, this is it, this is the one, the one I can fuck and choke and use whenever I want, the one I can smack and hit and call a pathetic slut and the answer ill get is a smile and a thank you, I targeted them, older guys, the kinkier the better, the more dominant the better, the more outgoing and care free, the meanest ones, I made them soft, I grasped and caressed until I had them calling me their love, their girlfriend even, now lets not get my pretty words get us over the top, these weren't thousands or hundreds, they were a couple, maybe some 10, 12 even, but I remember them, at least most, and when I had them there, seconds away of responding to my messages, when I could feel their emotion through my screen, when I could see how hard their cock got thinking of me and how they repeated over and over how desperate they were, to see me, to fuck me, to tear me apart, there I dropped them, I took every ounce of their pathetic internet existence into my knuckles and just dissapear, ghost, id watch my page blew up with their concerns, their rage sometimes, the more and more pics of dicks arriving, god men are so desperate for some attention arent they, they would do anything, and I mean it, when I tell you ive had guys getting in all fours and taking a picture like a dog for me, wrapping charger cables on the neck or um their magic wands just cause I asked, now I know this gives me asshole vibes, and I don’t reject it, if that’s what ive been giving I can claim it, but those contents were and will be safe just in. my head, I never told anyone, let alone show anyone, now doing this since age 12 wasn’t that good either way for me, I didn’t stopped till like 16, and believe that even though I look back and feel ashamed of it, I kind of don’t regret it, not in a sick joyful way, but more in a it is what is is way, now I know this makes me sound like a monster with no feelings, but is just a part of the story, I promise this is not all there is inside me, to heal you gotta know yourself, even those hidden corners we refuse to look at, like this one desire I now wipe the dust off

[pygmalionwasajerk]

What My Flashbacks Feel Like

OK massive trigger warning for SA, but i figure i need to put this somewhere to get it out of my head. And the facelessness of the internet helps in this case. So without further ado, What My Flashbacks Feel Like, a poem about… well, you get it.

I am four years old. They tell me we’re playing a grown up game. They tell me it’s called Seven Minutes in Heaven. I want to be a big kid. I want to play. I ignore that there’s only 3 of us in the room, I ignore that there’s no adults here. I want to play with the big kids. I want to fit in. Two of us, me and Kyle, go into the closet. No one sets a timer. I have never figured out who the third person in my mind is. But somehow, I know what they’re there for. They’re the lookout.

Kyle tells me we’re going to play doctor. Kyle tells me he’s the doctor. He tells me I’m the patient. Kyle tells me if I’m the patient, I need to take all my clothes off. I wonder if this is the big kid part of the game. I’ve never played doctor like this before. 

Kyle tells me I need to take off my panties, too. They’re pink. They have flowers on them. They’re size 4T. Four. Toddler. I am four. I don't remember when seven minutes ended. I remember I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone. 

I am ten years old. I have nightmares about my grandmother’s closet. I tell no one. I don’t need them to think I’m crazy. After all, dreams aren’t real. 

I am seventeen years old. I go on a hike at thanksgiving. All the cousins go on a hike. I wait for my brother. He fell behind. So did Kyle. Kyle catches up to me. Its the first time I ever remember being alone with him. I want to run away. I want to throw up. I don’t know why I want to do either. 

I am seventeen. The nightmares in the closet come back. 

I am seventeen. I ask my mom if the nightmares are real. I am seventeen. They are. She says I told her when it happened. She says she asked me every question she could think of. She says I told her he didn’t touch me. She says she decided it wasn’t that big of a deal. I wasn’t raped. I wasn’t groped. She won’t let me call it sexual assault. 

I am seventeen. I talk to my therapist. I don’t cry, not the whole session. I go in my bathroom after and throw up. I try to shower it off. It feels like he’s touching me. It feels like he’s touching me every time water flows over my body. I stop showering. 

I am seventeen. I read Redeeming Love for the first time. I cry into the book when Angel cries that she is not clean, that she can never be clean. I realize that I don’t remember whether I am a virgin. 

I am eighteen. There’s a family reunion coming up. No one asks me if I’m okay when he shows up. No one notices how much I flinch away when I see him in the corner of my eye. 

I am eighteen. Everything I know about sex, I learned from the internet. The internet doesn’t say anything about how the woman is supposed to feel besides good. It doesn’t say anything about what she’s supposed to do besides submit. I know what a ring gag is, and what it’s for. I’ve never heard of a clitoris. I try to masturbate. It hurts. I buy a porn subscription anyway. I use my graduation money.

I am eighteen. I am leaving for college. 

I am eighteen. I meet a girl. 

I am eighteen. I am for sure not a virgin. I roll over. She asks me if I regret it. I’m not sure. I don’t think so. At least now I know where I stand. 

She makes me feel safe. She makes me feel okay. She doesn’t mind that I cry every time. I don’t tell her that I’m stopping because I’m nauseous. I pretend I came. 

I am eighteen. I told her. She was angry. I don’t know how to tell her that she made me feel safe, but not safe enough to actually be real. I am ashamed. I was trying to protect her from how broken I am. 

I am eighteen. I am a broken woman. I am eighteen. I will never have good sex. I am eighteen. I will never be safe when I am naked. 

I am nineteen. I broke up with the girl. I regret so much. I get suicidal. I feel guilty. 

I am nineteen. I meet a guy. He wants to fuck me. I want to let him. 

I am nineteen. My body is under him. My brain is miles away. 

I am nineteen. I stop in the middle. I dry heave for 20 minutes. He gets himself off. 

I try to tell him why I hurt like this. I try to bring him in to this inner circle of those who know. I try because I don’t want him to think he hurt me. I don’t want to hurt him. 

He calls me a few days later. He tells me he has nightmares about the things that happened to me. I tell him I do too. He never talks to me again. It’s my fault. It’s my fault. It’s my fault. 

I am weeping in my bed, or on a bathroom floor. I am whispering, “Help me.” I am whispering, “I don’t want to.” I can’t breathe. My nails are digging into my shoulders.  

When I come back to myself, I am twenty again. I am real again. I am me again. When the flashback ends, I can be okay again. I can hurt for that four year old and know that she is part of me, but the past is not HERE, it is not NOW. When I come back to myself, I know that my therapist will hear this on Tuesday. That there are people who care that this hurts so bad. That I could talk to someone. 

I am twenty. I still get the nightmares. I still have the porn subscription. I haven’t figured out how much of my sex drive is normal and healthy. I don’t know if I’m kinky or trying to relive my trauma to have some sense of control. I don’t really know anything. But I masturbate a lot. I usually cry after. Sometimes, I do it just to get the emotional release. Sometimes, I do it just because I need to cry. 

I am twenty. I don’t usually tell anyone when the flashbacks start. Or when they end. I usually don’t tell anyone they happen at all. 

I am twenty. They happen almost daily. Sometimes when I masturbate. Sometimes, I just see people kiss on TV. Sometimes, they come out of nowhere at all. 

I am twenty. I am going to be able to fix this. I am doing therapy again. My therapist knows I have flashbacks. I must have told her. Did I tell her? Fuck. 

We’re going to do EMDR. It’s going to help. I’ve heard it really helps. God, I need it to help. I haven’t built my calm safe place yet. Even when I can take charge of my brain when I feel it starting to spiral, I have nowhere to send it. I usually just cry. 

I don’t tell anyone when I cry. I don’t cry in front of people. I can tell this story and have it all together, I can pretend I am wise and mature, I can hide behind closed doors and clever witticisms and ensure that even the people who can see most of my hurts can’t see this one. It’s too much. It’s too much for me to hold. How can I ask that of anyone else? 

I am twenty. It’s been sixteen years. I am four. It’s been twenty seconds. 

[reneemillertattoo]

It’s late July, it’s hot in the city, everyone has given me last minute reschedules. It’s par for the course with the summer slow season but it’s driving me crazy, and today’s astrology (cancer sun opposite pluto) is reinforcing that. Next year I’m going to make sure to book myself a little vacation for late July so I don’t have to deal with this existential crisis that inevitably comes along every summer. I’m toying with the idea of writing little blogs on here once in awhile as well. It helps that this platform feels like my private cozy corner of the internet, and I’m working on putting myself out there more, even though it feels scary because I’m literally the worst at everything. That being said, if anyone wants to send me any Asks about tattoos, witchcraft, life, etc, let’s chat.

[cometothecatbureau]

You know ao3 allows nsfw fanfics of real life minors right? /gen

I had a feeling that reblogging that post was going to lead to some questions. I’m going to try to answer this as best as I can and hopefully come to a conclusion we’re both happy with.

Basically, I know Ao3 is an imperfect place. While browsing for fics I’ve seen summaries and titles that made me more than a little uncomfortable. But I’ve seen the same kind of thing while I was still actively using Fanfic.net and even here on Tumblr.

I am by no means saying that fics about minors or real life people are okay. That’s not the content I write or the content I engage with. I feel the same way about a lot of dark!fic topics. But it’s always going to exist. We can’t ferret it out from every corner of the internet.

The one benefit Ao3 has is a tagging and rating system that actually works. So when people write fics about minors or real people I can actively make the choice to stay the hell away instead of often having it fall into my lap as I would here or on Twitter even.

And that’s where I really start to have issues. When people put their dark or questionable content out in the open for anyone to stumble across. At the very least, with Ao3 you have some warnings. With that in place, you can make informed decisions about your own internet experience. Not to mention the massive amounts of other content on there that has nothing to do with minors or real people.

Fic authors who want to create NSFW content that’s really just erotica between adult characters should also have a place to do that where they don’t have to worry about their work getting taken down and accounts being banned because of censorship. Right now Ao3 is our best bet until somebody comes up with something better, I’d rather deal with the archive having some content I don’t condone that’s been properly tagged and with ample warning than see it go the way of FF.net

Hopefully this makes some sense. Thank you for reaching out and asking. If you’d like to talk more you can always DM and I can try to explain further. If not, well, no offence if you want to unfollow or block me either. Wishing you the best Nonnie.

[universeofshadowxx]

tw// depression, sober topics.

I find it hard to understand how people behave with me when I call for help.

Even in my worst moments I never ignored other people's cries for help. But the people I need are never there. It's exhausting because I know I deserve better. because I know that if tomorrow I screw up they will come crying at my funeral.

I wonder how you can leave your best friend on read for so long when she expresses that she wants to take a permanent break from life. When she's been vocal about it, she sends you a text message expressing how badly she has been doing. It's absolutely incredible like I can't believe it, that people who are supposed to love and care about me - don't answer me when I tell them “Be there for me, I need you”.

I've been open about mental health. You've known me for years you know how low my lows are. You know how subject i am to mental health struggles, for how long i've been dealing with anxiety, depression and the worst thoughts possible. And yet, when i reach for you, you're never there. For months. It's exhausting because I've been trying to make excuses for months, years on end. Maybe they aren't in the right headspace. Maybe they're too busy. But sometimes my head don't want to mask things anymore, truths I know are lying there: they don't care. I feel lonely as hell over here. You may have so many people available but I am on my own.

As much as I learnt to not expect anything from them when I'm constantly trying to ring up a friend's phone and they don't answer and they don't even ask me how I'm doing for six months, I'm left wondering why the hell do you not block me already ? I've sent you videos with tears rolling down my face explaining that I am on the verge of breaking down, you know I'm not doing well and you ignore it.

Depression is hard. Depression while also dealing with ADHD and possible other undiagnosed disorders feels endless. Depression while trying to stay sober is worse. Depression when you know in your pencil box lay a fist full of cash that you could use for the worst reasons is practically unbearable.

She doesn't laugh with me anymore and for years she's been the most positive, funniest person I've ever met. Even without the cries for help, she doesn't even talk to me. About anything. When you make someone wait forty minutes when in reality you were six minutes away, when you don't even wish someone a merry Christmas or their birthday, what's left of that friendship?

I’ve gotten angry though. I know that’s not a healthy way to deal with anything, but I’m just so fucking angry. I don’t think it’s fair.

I also hate that this is the only way I can express my feelings, or say what’s happening: under a cut on a social media website where no one knows me. God forbid I make anyone uncomfortable with my sadness. God forbid I talk about things even though it’s apparently more common than we want to believe.

I don't wanna fucking cry, somedays I do but I guess this is what it's supposed to be.

Burying it on this little corner of the internet like I am supposed to, I guess.

[shitty-fate-merch-daily]

Hello everyone, now I know that this is a shitpost blog and my regular content isn’t really ever explicitly political, however it is my blog and I can post whatever I want. And I feel that this is kind of a massive deal and want to do my part to get more eyes on this situation.

Long story short, the US government is back at it again trying to destroy internet privacy.

A bill is going through congress at the moment known as the EARN IT bill. What it does is revoke Section 230 from the Communications Decency Act. Section 230 makes content platforms (like twitter, youtube, reddit, etc...) immune from any legal consequences from what their users post. While there is both good and bad to this situation, the removal of the bill will lead to platforms scanning all of the content and messages put out on their platform and censoring what is required of them by a non-elected government committee.

This is all being passed under the guise of “removing csa content and fighting human trafficking”, any “save the children” legislation is never about saving the children, but using them as a moral battering ram for their political agendas. Social media sites are already required by law to remove such content and report it to relevant institutions for further investigation, so passing this bill would make such a situation worse because individuals with these materials will just move to platforms outside the US that have no requirement to remove or report it.

Another facet of the bill is that will require platforms lessen their cyber security and encryption so US law enforcement can access massive amounts of data about its users.

For said purpose of “saving the children” of course. I don’t think I need to explain why this is a bad thing and how its turning America into more of a police state. However the removal of encryption to create a “back door” for the US government, also poses a security risk for cyber criminals to get their hands on that data. And the US government has proven it kind of sucks shit at keeping data secure

There are many other great articles and videos explaining the bill and its consequences in more detail. And I entreat everyone to do their own additional research about the EARN IT bill. The Electronic Frontier Foundation has written about it along with many other relevant topics about cyber security and privacy, along with the US government’s track record in the matter.

So what can we do?

For those of us who live in the US, we do the same thing every time the government decides to pass something that decreases our human rights. We get out our metaphorical pitchforks out and go poke our representatives with angry emails and phone calls until they realize that maybe supporting this bill isn’t the hottest choice if they care about being re-elected.

For those of you outside the US, this is still a big deal for you too! Since the majority of large western social media platforms are based in the US, thus under their jurisdiction, your data and free speech will be fair game no matter your nationality. If you have American friends, pressure them to contact their representatives. Go make a big fuss about it on your corner of the internet, wherever that may be.

The bill was shot down once in 2020 because of public outcry so it can do so again. Every voice matters. If it gets passed there is almost no chance of it ever getting repealed, and may change the shape of the internet as we know it.

The EFF has made a very easy form to contact your representatives about this issue. It only takes a few minutes, I can’t recommend it enough. If anyone has any questions, feel free to DM me. I’m more than happy to help.

https://act.eff.org/action/stop-the-earn-it-act-to-save-our-privacy?s=09

[beann-e]

Haikyu characters reacting to their s/o screaming back at them

Nekoma Characters reacting to their s/o Screaming back at them

Read Part One Here

kenma

-it would not take much -_-

- Kenma doesn’t even notice he’s yelling at you or much less using his raised voice when talking to you

-he’s so used to screaming at kuroo through his mic that when he’s finally pissed off and bubbling ; it just happens after you try to ask him what he wants for dinner at the wrong time

-post time skip

“ go left “ The sound of the controller clicking swirled through the room as your boyfriends eyes followed the screen at every turn his character took “ kuroo I said go left “

“ uh which one ? “

kenmas face went into a straight line as kuroos body stiffened knowing he hadn’t been listening in the first place “ no wait which way I meant —which way “

“kuroo I said go left “

“ oh “

“ yeah — go left “ the strain in your boyfriends voice was evident

it showing off the sliver of annoyance he was trying to hold back knowing that you were somewhere in the same house

he hated for you to see him anything other than calm

Anytime he showed any bit of annoyance with you or even showed he was about to give you attitude you quickly shut it down. It was obvious to him who was the dominant one in the relationship and he had no problem with it

Honestly he was scared of what you would think when you finally saw him fly off the handle. Of course you’d seen him have an attitude he was a gamer that was normalized to have one after a lost game but, it wasn’t often he showed you that side because kenma doesn’t do losing

so what would happen if he finally got ticked off so badly due to something that was ‘just a game’ to you would you be scared?

he couldn’t help but think that you would run for the hills and then screw him over in the breakup and tell everyone he still wears tidy whities and forgets to go pee during gameplays unless you remind him by asking had he peed all day

“ hey du— “

“ don’t talk until you kill the leftover guys so we can win“

“ ken you don’t think I can multitask “ kuroos laugh fell into the room over kenmas headphones “ I used to do it everyday i was the captain of the vb team, I keep you in line “

“ sure sure — but are you watching your corners “

“ I keep everyone healthy , and i’m hot , plus I’m about to win this gam— I died “

the silence in the moment spoke volumes before kenma could

his hand grabbing the controller harshly as he refused to blink seeing the word loser flash in bright letters on his screen

Body growing hot and sweaty while he tried to hold in his anger and process what just happened so he could determine the next best course of action

Knowing , He just knew

The amount of trouble he’d get in if you walked in to hear him screaming at kuroo shouting words you hated when he used

He was trying to hold it all in

really he was

he just needed some quiet first just some silence to figure out how to calm himself down his brain going over serveral images of kuroo dead at the bottom of stairs maybe even him getting hit too hard with one of kenmas sets when they played 4 on 4matches

Anger only growing when he heard a voice pour in that he couldn’t figure out who it belonged to much less cared

“ hey ke— “

“ Do you ever fucking listen “ his voice was hard and threatening “ do you ever just shut the fuck up and “

he threw his headphones to his keyboard “ and listen — no you don’t— you go quiet and now here i am upset because you simply don’t listen — answer the questions i’m asking you— you fucking sea creature“

his body only growing hotter as his neck got red eyes darting for a person to scream at and take his anger out on

“ answer me “ he screamed pain eteched in his voice as he finally turned to find you

a look crossing over his face before he blinked looking to the floor then up at you in confusion before turning back to his screen that glowed in the dark room anger hitting him all over again when he saw kuroos wide open mouth and their dead avatars laying on the ground

“ Why the fuck — how the —- I always fucking lose when that asshole —that miscalculated creation— whenever he plays with me it’s so serious to me — i make money off of it i make — i get deals and i — I can’t — can’t lose them they’ll think i’m not good enough— i“

he slammed his fist into the wall speaking low

“ I hate fucking losing “

he turned to you “ it’s not nice y/n — I tried to fucking do your shitty routine of calming myself down first but it just “

he moved closer to you with anger pouring from his body

your eyes wide in a look of fear when he grabbed your face pointing to his screen “ look — “

he screamed in your face when you didn’t tear your eyes away from his “ BABE I SAID LOOK“

your eyes never leaving his as he just grew angrier at your incompetence

“ so your not fucking listening to me either “ his voice grew questioning “ are your ears dirty just like kuroos ? huh ? are y’all apart of some shitty cult for mute wannabes “

his hand gripped tighter on your cheeks “ i’m so stupid your just as fucking dumb as that asshole — fucking — I bet you wanna date him huh — “

his mind ran wild as he thought of the two of you together insecurity blooming

“ you want a loser like him over me right ? you have to like kuroo — look at him you want to date kuroo right “

he laughed “ fucking slu— “

“ finish it and we’ll be playing our own game of kenma getting his ass beat until he finally gives up and cries “

your eyebrows quirked up as you held eye contact with him “ trust me you’ll lose “

you looked at the male in front of you in disgust

“ get your shitty cheeto dusted gamer hands off of me “

his hands loosened their hold on you

“ all the way off you dirty imbecile “

you scoffed as he dropped his hand in a rush of fear

“ I bet your dirty ass didn’t even wash them after I made you pee earlier — yeah made — you wanted to get back to that sweaty chair that badly ? “

his cheeks grew hot as he blinked himself out of his trance only to see what he’d gotten himself into

“ who do you think you are talking to like that “

your stare making him shake even more in fear

You always scared him when you were upset wether you were taller or not your annoyance alone at an action he’d done scared him enough

Your words stood tall and poured in on him making him feel like he was suffocating but, he knew he needed to hear this. You only did this when his anger was out of control like he knew it could be. He stayed on his games all day and all night which was the only way to provide your shared income

at least until he could get his company up and running he had yet to sign contracts because he said he needed to read them first and reading took too much work

this was how he paid your bills. It stressed him out knowing that any day someone on the internet could call him a loser and that same day your steady flow of money may trickle in slower than usual

So when he lost a game any game even something as simple as Mario or even kirby it pissed him off because he couldn’t help but shoulder all the responsibility of taking care of you and himself. He didn’t want to be the reason you lost that stability and all of this catered into his rage. A rage only you could catch and calm down with your sheer words.

“ who do you think you are “ your voice came out low and calm as you spoke down on him “ answer me “

“n-no on — no one babe “

“ don’t babe me “ your hand pressed on his chest “ you don’t deserve that not after you talked to me that way “

“ I -i’m sorry “

“ for what “

“ f-for talking to you like that and “ his voice came out soft as he spoke

“ I cannot hear you “

“ fuck i’m sorry for talking to you that way —and for using force —force and grabbing you like that “

“and i’m just expected to forgive you? you know I hate this — you know this and yet you keep doing it? why ? why do you keep shouldering this and then lashing out “

“ p-please “

“ mm — i’m not seeing it ken— I mean you treat me like one of your other asshole friends and then on top of it you grabbed my face this time— you’ve never gone that far “

“ y-yes I know — I know “

“ so you can see my problem with just accepting your apology right “

“ y-yes ma’am “

“ oh — “ you laughed as you spoke “ now we’re using nice names huh “

“ i—I thought it’d work“ he pouted

“ I wanna forgive you ken “ you looked at him as his head dropped in embarrassment cheeks going red

“ I really do babe but “

“ I swear I won’t do it again y/n “

you thought for a moment staring at the boy in front of you who was pissing his pants in fear

“ y-y/n I swear I didn’t know it was you I was angry and I —I thought kuroo was talkin— “

“ but you realized it was me? “

he paused

“ you even looked from me and back to your screen so you knew correct “

“ yes “

“ and yet you still yelled at me and grabbed my face “

“ really i’m sorry— I wasn’t there all the way “

you took a deep breath before looking to his computer eyes made up in a squint and then trailing back to the boy in front of you

“ ok ken “ his eyes glowed in happiness

“ you— your forgiving me “ he laughed almost mocking you knowing he’d never been let go this quickly you usually took away his gaming system until he’d learned to calm down

he even started ‘doing’ yoga, if you count playing the youtube videos on the tv while he played on his apple watch that you’d forgotten to take, just to fool you into giving his game back “ this easily“

your eyes moved pointedly to his as he fell back into submission

“ i’m sorry I just meant you arent more upset “

“ well i’m deciding that since it was the first time you ever went to that extent of yelling at me I’m gonna let you off the hook “

you smiled “ also I thought you already got enough punishment “

“ h-huh “

you let your head move up to face his computer screen in a slight nod his eyes lighting up before his face fell in sadness

He never meant to fall submissive let alone show who was the dominant one in the relationship to anyone outside of you especially not with kuroo on the other line

“ I don’t think kuroo minds much babe it’s ok “ you said happily changing the whole way you carried yourself earlier and the way you spoke your body easing after beating into kenma

“ no trust me he doe— “

“ goddamn “

your eyes fell onto his friends open mouthed smile

“ and you just let ‘em do you like that “

kenmas eyebrows came together in sadness

“ damn ken —“

your eyes went hard on kuroo

“ and do you think your any better ? because from what i’ve heard churro it seems to me like you couldnt even keep your own team on a leash much less that lev kid so ? “

“ god “ kuroo coughed shifting in his seat whispering softly to himself “ so hot “

he shook his head before speaking again a little bit louder “ uh no— no I completely understand y/n —god i just know your fun “ he laughed

“ kenma keep listening to your s/o don’t mind me “

he moved to log off speaking under his breath “ so fucking scary —swear i’m bringing ‘em in to scare my vb kiddos— shit “

you shook your head in confusion “ uh wha—”

“ he had a — he had a crush on you and yeah I”

“ oh well “ you moved to throw your arms around him in happiness his body stumbling back at the action as he cautiously wrapped his hands around your back

“ n-not in trouble “

“ not in trouble “

“ still love me “

“ still love you “

“ then can I pla- “

“ no “

“ nevermind I didn’t want —want to play anyways “

“ that’s good “

“ yeah “ he drawed out as you grabbed his hand pulling him to the living room “ but babe the monitors still on just one matc— “

your grip tightned on his hand “ movie ken “

“ got it movie — movie “

he spoke low following you wrapping his arms around you as he kissed your cheek “ movie first — game later “

lev

-I don’t think he would ever ever ever scream at you but he would totally say something hurtful and not even realize it because kuroo and kenma said it to him

-so he’s literally just using what he was taught but In the wrong way

- not a time skip

“ lev can you help me “ you shouted to the taller male as you made your way across the court his hands cupping around his mouth as he stared down on you from the other side “ yeah “ he smiled “ totally “

you copied him a smile itching to spread across your face “ just because I yell doesnt mean you yell “

“ well as bossy as you are you should know I’m going to “

your face dropped before it fell back into a happy smile mind racing with thoughts of maybe hes just making a joke he knows you hate when people say that about you

“ hey uh lev ? “

“ yeah babe “ he said running over to you

“ let’s not say that ok cause it kinda — it really hurt my feelings “ his eyebrows furrowed as he looked down on you his voice vibrating along the gym before he smiled again “ babe I like the design you added to your face I didn’t notice but other people said you looked good with it and yeah —honestly they were right “

“ huh — design? “

“ yeah it’s red it’s right by your eyebrow “

your hands moved quickly to cover the pimple from his view eyes darting across the gym hoping no one else heard and was trying to take a look at it

“ it’s fine it’s fine maybe if you put on some makeup you can hide it right ? i mean if you don’t like the design like I do i mean that’s what you usually use it for right ? “

your eyebrows went up face holding nothing but sadness as you spoke “ do you— lev baby do you really think i’m bossy “

he jumped up and down on the balls of his feet in excitement as he kept going “ yeah — I do everything you tell me to and I like it i’m like a puppy and your the master “

you could feel your body heat up at his words his smile spreading wider as he turned to his awestruck teammates

“ babe it’s ok id follow you to the end of the earth because I don’t understand your just stringing me along”

your hands dropped the balls you held onto from picking them up off the floor. head cocking to the side as you studied him trying to see what sparked this new way of thinking

“ oh god “

“ he’s so fucking —so so fucking clueles- “

“ stupid just outright stupid is what he is “ you said as his eyebrows creased face struggling to find the right way to react to the burning hot anger he felt radiating off of you in waves “ lev baby who told you this “

you walked a bit closer to him head leaned back to see him clearly “ who made you think this way “

“ uh what “ he shook his head face coming up in a pout “ babe I — “ he played with his fingers as he looked off to the side hand moving to run across his neck “ for some reason I feel like i’m in trouble —I did—did I do something wrong baby ?“

“ this is not cool lev not helpful, not sweet and nice it’s hurtful “

“ no what ? wait i’m “ he took his hand out to grab your arm his face made up in pure confusion “ no i’m —i’m complimenting you “

“ you— your complimenting me? “

“ yeah “ he smiled struggling to hold it up as his eyes darted across your face

“ lev baby “ you faked a smile as your eyes hardened “ think about your words —what have you just said “

“ well I said that your my master and i’m like a puppy“ he smiled as he thought back “ only because I love you and would do anything you tell me and because i’m hyper and sometimes you have to explain stuff to me in simple form because I can’t pay attention when anyone else talks but you “

he kept going “ then I said that I do anything you tell me to and I would “ he smiled harder voice sure of himself“ because I like following you and making you happy “

he scratched his neck face flashing a deep red “ then — then I said that you cover up your bossine— ok i’m sorry “

his face made up into a pout as he slumped “ really I didn’t know I thought it was nice I heard the team saying it in the back rooms and I though— “

“ FUCKING IDIOT “

“ LEV WHAT THE FUCK “

“ HOLY SHIT LEGS ARE YOU SERIOUS “

levs face dropped as he turned to kenma “ legs seriously ? “

kenma shrugging as he continued to play his hand held game “ eh well everyone else was saying something and you annoy me so — I present legs “

he sighed as he turned back only to see your eyes holding nothing but garbage fires In them as you stared at the group of guys huddled together

“ speak “ everyone whimpered as you stared them down “ explain to me why my boyfriend is telling me I need makeup to cover my pimple ”

kuroos uncomfortable laugh left him quickly as he looked away from the both of you rocking back and forth in his shows “ well um y/n “ he coughed “ you see we were — we’re guys y/n we were making jokes and you see lev doesn’t understand “

“ well I do so explain “

he jumped “ we thought— “

“ not quick enough you sweaty catboy“

“ god ok he came to us wanting to know how to compliment you he said he didn’t want to say anything dumb and —so that made us realize we can really make him do anything cause he’s so clueless—thought if we could get lev to say some dumb shit—trust me we didn’t go that far “ he said pointing to lev who was picking up the balls you’d dropped on the floor chasing after one that rolled away

“ then you’d break up with him and I guess at least one of us would have a chance — well except kenma he says he has princess peach as his wife —wait who the fu—I actually don’t know who that is ken is that an online girlfriend “

he furrowed his brows actually puzzled by his earlier words “ I don’t know why it seemed so normal to me at the time “

he shook his head “ but lev is so fucking stupid that he said everything fucking wrong — we literally just told him what we personally like about you —gave him some corny pickup lines but he said everything wrong like even the phrase about your makeup we were saying how you don’t wear any or when you do it’s not obvious because your natural beauty just radiates through it— then the next thing we talked about is how strong and just how you take directive I guess — and we — we thought it was hot “

“ then where did he get the stuff he said from “ your voice went high now you were confused he couldn’t have made that stuff up

“ y/n he’s just fucking stupid where do you think “ he rolled his eyes “ he made it up because he didn’t understand “

levs eyes widened as he had stopped paying attention to the situation taking place hours ago “ uh I cannot confirm or deny that statement but I will say you are very very beautiful my love “

your heart warmed as the team groaned your body moving into his as you kissed him softly “ did I do something wrong ? “

“ no lev your ok “

“ ok I never want you to feel bad or like y’know how kenma feels I always feel like he’s so angry “ your boyfriend shivered as he locked eyes with kenma who was ready to pounce on him claws showed as he gripped his game harshly “ see —- so angry “

“ not angry lev just “ you looked at him seriously “ babe you have to pay attention to what you say you may say something really really wrong to me one day and then — “

“ and then you’ll tell me what I did wrong while we cuddle and drink hot chocolate“

you smiled squeezing him harder “ no — then i’ll break your kneecaps so you’ll never be able to play volley again and i’ll dye your hair black in your sleep so people will think you look like a tall dirty mop “

he shook before he led you out of the door the team watching as you left leaving all of them to curse silently about their failed plan “ he’s the stupidest guy on the team and he — he got that “

“ bet he doesn’t even know what he’s doing when he’s tapping it “

kuroo laughed “ yeah right like he even gets that far — they probably gotta explain how to continue a kiss without him focusing and staring straight into their eyes — he’s probably learning how to ‘multitask’ right now as we speak—lucky idiot “

the doors to the gym slammed open roughly a few minutes later as you held levs hand tightly behind the door “ HEY ASSHOLES “

everyone tuned to you in fear for themselves and the tall male behind you who you dragged like a mom in a store his eyes stuck on the lollipop that stuck out from his mouth “ guys y/n found me a lollipop—she stuffed it in my mouth when I told her the joke you guys told me to “

“ w-what joke “

“ the one where I called the sex line and said that I requested them because I heard good reviews “

the teams heads all dropped knowing they’d never said anything of the sort or even along the line he’d messed up their original words yet again and put not only himself but them in danger

“ if you guys ever try to taint my boyfriend with your dumb fucking words again I swear I will end you all —kenma i’ll buy every copy of the new game that you want that’s coming out — literally blow all my money so you can’t ever play the stupid game until im ready to allow you to “ his mouth going up in an o as he still had his attention on his game hands only tightening a bit at the threat his body moving behind kuroo for safety

“ kuroos chemistry lab will become a garbage chute for my lunch trays “ kuroos body slumping as he draped himself over kenma only to get pushed off and fall on the floor in pain your mouth moving to tell everyone else on the team what would happen if they didn’t respect your boyfriend and treat him like the nice , caring guy he was

Until finally you flashed a smile and walked off leaving the team in disarray as they couldn’t figure out if you just grew that much hotter or if they were having heat flash from the pissed off emotions they felt when lev turned around and winked at them while he ran his hand down your shoulder to land at your lower back as he followed you out