#but it's also a big decision and I have attachment issues | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kissohee · 2 months

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I keep thinking about you.

i keep thinking about you. loser!ex!friend!taesan x popular!fem!reader ☆ nsfw ; wc : 8.7k+ ☆ one-shot mdni! synopsis; taesan never would've believed that there would be a time where popularity would get in the way of you and him. but it wasn't just popularity, it was also your boyfriend. so when you needed an escape from your boyfriend, you found yourself with taesan. the problem is taesan is attached, and you have attachment issues. warnings; referring to taesan as dongmin, cheating, toxic relationship, mainly written in his pov, its literally just sex again and again, angst, oral sex (both m and f receiving), cum eating, both protected and unprotected sex, use of pet names (baby, pretty boy, angel, good boy), i know im a small dick taesan enthusiast BUT he has a big dick in this, taesans very vocal, cockwarming, taking virginity, dry humping, making out, male masturbation, jaehyun and leehan cameo, itty bit of crying. a/n; almost fully based on taesans self composed song "i keep thinking about you." a lot of inspo for this fic came from that, so thank you taesan! if u read the lyrics of the song, a lot of things in this fic might make a lot more sense 😭 listen to his song here ♡

For as long as Dongmin has known you, he believed you were an angel in disguise. And there was a moment where you two couldn't be separated. Every little thing about you was perfect, and he was so lucky to be by your side.

Until you drifted away from him. It was fully your decision,, Dongmin would never give up being close to you for anything. But there really wasn't anything he was able to do about it.

You had started dating this guy, and he became the number 1 man in your heart, Dongmin knew he couldn't be mad at you over it, you had found someone that you took interest in, and for the years Dongmin has known you, this has been a first. But him no longer being in your heart wasn't the problem. The problem was that you had gained popularity and started to pretend you didn't know him. He knew he wasn't popular like you, and he had little to no friends, but he never would've thought there would end up being a time where you would just give up on your friendship without hesitation. You met your boyfriend. And suddenly you were gone. Your entire friend group shifted, you only became friends with people who were just as popular as you, and you had started to also tolerate when your new friends made jokes about him or other people. He had no clue what happened to that angel he once knew. Dongmin especially felt his whole world collapse when you had found out that he liked you. He had watched your contact disappear from his phone, as well as you blocking him on all the social media accounts that you had owned. He believed life was out to get him, So instead of getting over you like every other human would do, he watches as you and your new friends have a very loud conversation in the library. He's sitting at a table alone, writing down whatever comes to his mind every time he steals a look at you. "What a slut." He overhears one of your friends say, "I mean she's practically slept with everyone." He assumes they're talking about some girl who probably doesn't deserve it, because it's all he seems to notice you guys do. "Well not everyone..." One of your other friends raises her eyebrows and tilts her head towards him, everyone catching him staring. He immediately looks down embarrassed, fixing his headphones to pretend like something was playing. Your friend responds to her, "No one would sleep with Dongmin." She jokes, "He's really quiet, I bet he's a secret perv." He sees you laugh from the corner of his eye,,, you would never laugh at people talking about him like that. Well at least the old you wouldn't, the new you absolutely would. "Alright guys," You grab your bag from the library seat, eyes glued to your phone, "My boyfriend says I have to meet him at the lunch hall in less than 10 minutes or else he won't buy me food." You make quick eye contact with Dongmin and rush out of the library. Your friend looks at him one last time before rolling her eyes, "Can't believe she was actually friends with that guy." They both laugh about another comment made, and follow you out of the library. The library returns to being peaceful. Dongmin was very good at pretending like he couldn't hear people talk about him, which happened more than he liked. Your 'friends' also constantly make fun of you for ever being friends with him. He wasn't strange in the slightest, just kind of a loner. But you always used to tell how cool he was, and how you'll never be friends with someone the way you're friends with him. He hated the term friends. And if there was one thing Dongmin couldn't do, it was that he couldn't stop thinking about you. You have a boyfriend, and you treat him like shit, but you still occupy so much space in his head. How could he forget you so easily? How could you forget him so easily? He starts playing music in his headphones, looking down at the open page of his book, only a few words written down.

He finds himself writing yet another song about you.

Making songs was Dongmins therapy. Which is why he's hunched over his computer, trying to get rid of any thoughts of you from today. And it seemed helpless considering every lyric he wrote down today traced back to you. Somehow he was able to hear the doorbell ring, despite his headphones being on full volume. He places them on his keyboard, leaving his room to open the door. And the last person he expected to be there, was standing right in front of him. "What are you doing here?" You smile at him, glad to finally see his face up close for the first time in a while. "What? I can't see you anymore?" "Aren't you like banned from ever being in the same room as me?" He says sarcastically, not moving his body an inch. You look up at him before looking at your shoes, "No.. Well yes. But I'm willing to make risks." He takes a deep sigh, knowing he'd most likely regret his actions but he moves his body out the way and holds the door open for you, welcoming you inside. Once you enter, he locks the door and heads to his bedroom. You follow him after taking your shoes off, "Are your parents home?" "They're never home, you know that." He responded without looking at you, which you take as a sign to be quiet. You close his door behind you and look at his computer before he slams it shut. "Were you making a song?" "No." He shakes his head, closing his lyric book before putting it away. You tilt your head, "Cmon you can tell me, I know you have a passion for music. I support you.!" He looks at you with a straight face, "I was just messing around with the app." "I don't remember you being so secretive." "That makes two of us." The silence was getting unbearable, Dongmin watches as you fidget with your fingers, knowing this was just as awkward to you as it was to him. "Why are you here...?" "He cheated on me." You blurt out. You weren't sure who else to go to about this, "He doesn't know that I know. But I found out." Dongmin's face softened as he approached you, wrapping his arms around your body. "So why don't you break up with him?" He asks, "Why'd you come here instead?" "I don't really know.." You look up at him and let out the cutest giggle he's ever heard, "I'm not upset, I mean I'm not even surprised. Guess I just needed to tell someone." You both stand there, his hand now caressing your back, "You still care about me right, Dongmin?" Now it's his turn to laugh lightly, "I don't want to. But of course I do." "I'm such a terrible person." You frown thinking about the way you've disregarded him. He wasn't sure if you were trying to gain pity from him, you didn't need his pity, you had him no matter what. "No you're not." He lifts your face up so you can see him. "Your boyfriend is. He's a very unpleasant person. I don't know why you're drawn to him." He smiles at you, "And don't pretend he's not, we all know he is." You stare into his eyes and hold back a smile, "He is, isn't he?" Dongmin just nods back, taking glances at every feature of your face. How are you so beautiful? You place your hands on both sides of his face, "Can I kiss you?" He wants to, more than anything, but he hesitates, "What about your boyfriend?" You lean closer to his face, staring at his lips, "Let go of him right now, it's just us." You place your lips onto his, immediately noticing how soft they are. This is everything Dongmin has ever dreamed of. Maybe not in this particular situation, but the kiss was just as perfect as he imagined it. He wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer into him. He pulls away and your eyes softly open before you're staring into his eyes, "I want more."

Anything you want. He places his lips on yours again, this time a little more desperation shines through, you're backing him up to his bed, sitting him down so you can sit on his lap, all without breaking the kiss once. His hands are exploring every part of your body, still unsure if this is actually happening or not. What if it's just another one of his wet dreams? When you bite down on his lip, he's more than positive that this is actually his reality. The bite making him let out a moan. "You sound so pretty," You chew on his lip, "My pretty boy." The pet name sent shock waves all throughout his body, forcing him to freeze. He dreamt of the day you would say something like that to him. He had dreamt of a lot of things. "Don't say things like that." He whimpers, "I can't handle it." You run your fingers through his hair, feeling his bulge grow underneath you. "I can tell." You tease him, moving your hips against him to see his reaction. "Oh fuck.." He holds your hips, covering his face on your shoulder. It's embarrassing for him when he gets needy like this, especially in front of you. "How far are we going?" "As far as you want." You smile at him, looking down at his boner. Just the thought of fucking you already had him up, "Do you have condoms?" He presses his lips together, holding onto the hem of your shirt. "No." "Buy condoms next time." You brush the hair out of his face. "Next ti-?" He's cut off with you grinding against him, shutting his eyes closed. His nightmare would be cumming in his pants before even getting to third base with you. "Dongmin, have you ever had sex before?" You ask, not stopping your hip movements. He shakes his head and you start feeling bad. You'd feel horrible if you took his virginity when he was hoping to lose it to someone he had a relationship with. "Hey, than maybe we shouldn't do th-" "No." He puts his hand over your mouth, "I want to." You take a deep breath and nod. Your lips are back on his as you proceed your grinding on him. Dongmin is starting to get impatient, the grinding not enough for his painful boner. He starts unintentionally thrusting up against your clothed cunt, and a whimper escapes from his mouth with each thrust.

Your boyfriend is nowhere near as cute as he is. You can tell he's starting to get more desperate with his humping, trying to actually gain satisfaction out of it, and that's when you suggest you both remove the clothes in the way. Finally seeing his cock outside of his pants made reality really sink in. He's bigger than most cocks you've seen, and it surprises you. But you're determined to get genuine pleasure so you line him up with you. Dongmin's very lucky that his first time is raw. The second he enters, you immediately feel like his dick was made for you. It was the perfect size, bigger than average but not an uncomfortable size. "Oh god you're so big Min," Your grip on his shoulders tightens and he moans from the compliment alone. You adjust yourself to a comfortable position and look in his eyes, "I'll do the moving since this is your first time, okay?" He nods, resting his hands on your waist, he's so excited that you feel him twitch inside of you. You lift yourself up and down, taking notice on his facial expressions and noises, unable to stop yourself from smiling, "You're so cute." His cheeks become a shade of red, his cock twitching again. "You respond to compliments huh.?" "Not on purpose.." He says, trying to rid himself of embarrassment from being unable to control his cock. "I know," You pat his head, slowly feeling your energy go down as you get closer to your climax. "But it's okay because you're being such a good boy." And just like suspected, his cock twitches again. "So cute." You whisper under your breath. "Are you getting close? Cause I am." He doesn't respond, but instead starts lifting his hips up into you at a faster rate, taking control over you both. His hips twitch, and you feel it. His cum inside of you. And the thought of it brings you to your own orgasm. You moan his name out, and grip onto his hair. Hearing you say his name in such an explicit way makes him cum a second time. For the first time in months, you actually had a really good orgasm. "You're so much better than him." You touch his cheek softly. Dongmin almost cringes at you bringing up your boyfriend after just having sex with him.

"Break up with him, please." He whispers.

Dongmin won't lie and say he wasn't heartbroken when he saw you with your boyfriend again the next week. His arm wrapped around your waist, as you talk to your friends. He couldn't understand how you could happily continue going out with him even after sleeping with Dongmin. You cheated on him. Granted he did cheat on you first but still. Despite all that, you stayed. Why? He's only watching you from a distance. He wants to approach you, or at least just wave, but he can't move. So instead he's creepily watching you and he only then realizes it's a problem when your friend nudges your shoulder and points at him. Now he's more than aware this could turn into a problem. So he waves, because he thinks it might be able to justify why he's looking. Instead of waving you back, you take a deep breath, raise your eyebrows at your boyfriend and look back at him. Dongmin starts biting the inside of his cheek, opting on putting his headphones on and just walking away. This isn't the first time something like this has happened, and yet it's still just as awkward as the first time. And he's about to leave before he sees you speed walk his way. "Can I help you?" You look at the ground behind him, playing with the strings of your bag. He shrugs, now feeling awkward, "Just saying hi." "Yeah well don't" You respond quickly. He's back to biting the inside of his cheek, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his sweater. "I'm confused on why we can't be friends.." "Friends don't sleep together." You say, face deadpanned as you make eye contact with your boyfriend, far away enough where he can't hear you. He sighs, you've put him in such an odd position. You're not his friend but you're also not his lover? "So that's it? You sleep with me once and I'm not allowed to talk to you?" He looks back at your friends who are staring at him harshly, almost burning a hole in his skin. Your boyfriend however is on his phone, trying not to get too upset over the fact that you willingly wanted to talk to Dongmin. He hears you sigh loudly and you stand in front of him so he's forced to look at you, "It's much more complicated than that, okay?" You copy him and glance at your friends too, "If it was up to me, things would be different." And that's all you say before walking away from him.

Dongmin's just had the most boring class of his entire life. Mainly because he was yawning the whole time, trying his hardest not to fall asleep in case the professor decided to say something worth hearing. There's no one to blame Dongmin's tiredness on except himself, he hasn't been able to sleep well these past few days because of you. Every time he closed his eyes to fall asleep, the exact same moments with you would replay in his head. Thus, lack of sleep. So he's pretty happy when the class is finally over, he can go home and maybe, hopefully, take a nap. So he grabs his stuff in a hurry and walks out the classroom, all to see you standing there with your arms crossed on the other side of the hall. Maybe he's hallucinating, or maybe you're waiting for someone else, so he just walks away, not willing to embarrass himself anymore. "Dongmin? Hello??" He hears you call out to him, until eventually your arm is on his shoulder. So maybe you were waiting for him. "I needed to talk to you." He's not upset in the slightest, in fact he's actually really happy that you actually want to talk to him. "How'd you know I was in that class?" "Oh uhm." You say, taken aback by the question, "I asked around to see if anyone had any classes with you and eventually someone did and so yeah uh.." You had gone through all that trouble, for him? "Look," You start, "I really needed to tell you that I did enjoy that night with you. And you know, if you're down, maybe we could do it again?" Again? He swears his heart is going to explode. "When were you thinking?" "Tonight,,, maybe.?" Your voice had a little shake in it, exposing you for being a little nervous about asking him if you guys could sleep together again. Dongmin smiles softly with a nod, "Sure." He does his absolute best to play it cool in front of you but the thought of you and the past few restful nights finally coming to end makes his heart pound. And so the moment he gets home he's kicking his feet over the thought of you coming over again. Deciding on ways for the time to pass by quicker, he decides to clean his entire room. Like yes, you've seen his room at some of his messiest times, but that doesn't change the fact that he wants to be impressionable on you. But even cleaning his room didn't take up that much time, and he finds himself looking at the clock every minute. He probably should've asked you for a more specific time. He's just really excited to have you with him again. He's willing to get hurt if it means being able to be close to you somehow. He wants you any way that he can. Why was it taking an hour for each minute to pass? It must've taken another hour of staring at the ceiling before the ring to his door was pushed. And it took a lot of self control for him to not run to the door to see who it was, despite knowing it's most likely you.

And you it was. "Hey." he says, trying his hardest not to smile super hard, opposite from you, who is smiling. "Hey you." You poke his shoulder, walking into his house. "I couldn't stop thinking about you." He couldn't be happier. Dongmin closes the front door, motioning for you to kick off your shoes so you can go to his room. "How about we continue that hm?" He says before leaning slightly down to kiss you. Just like expected, you return the kiss, making sure you can taste every bit of him. "Your room, now." You say against his kiss and he nods slightly, grabbing your hand and walking urgently to his room. You automatically sit down on his bed and wait for him to close the door so he can sit down next to you, which doesn't take him very long because he's just as needy as you are. His hands find their way into your hair, and you're as close as you can possibly be to him. He breaks the kiss to be able to place them down your neck, "Careful about leaving hickies." You warn him, earning a groan from him against your neck. It doesn't stop him from pulling your shirt off so he can plant kisses across your chest, some getting close to your tits. You're holding onto one of his arms so hard he feels like your fingerprints will be engraved on it. "Did you get condoms?" "Not yet," He looks down at you, "I'm nervous to buy them." That part's entirely true, he's way too nervous to have someone actually watch him buy a pack of condoms. Like yes, it's normal but that doesn't change the fact that he's also way too scared.

"Okay so new plan." You sit up fully, confusing Dongmin, "I'll suck you off." His ears immediately go red, and his heart starts racing. His lack of words make you nervous, "Only if you want. I don't have to." He shakes his head semi-violently, feeling his cock react to your words. "I-I want you to." His response makes you smile, unzipping his jeans so he can get out of them. You're eventually face to face with his boner, which makes you happy, especially when it moves from just you looking at it. You barely even touched him at all and he's already super hard. He moves his hips closer to you, hinting at how badly he wants to be touched, "Relax Dongmin, I'll get to it." You pat his thighs softly, making him thrust up into nothing. "Oh? Are you sensitive there?" He doesn't respond, slightly embarrassed by it, but you think it's cute. You place a hand over his covered bulge, rubbing his cock through the fabric, as your hand travels up and down his thigh. "I need you to be a good boy okay, Min? That means no moving, let me handle everything." He nods, resting against the pillows on his bed.

The moment your hands touch his bare cock, Dongmin swears he won't listen. He wants to do what you ask, but it's hard when you're inches away from his cock. Your hands travel up and down it, pumping him in preparation for your mouth. He's biting his tongue so he doesn't make noise too soon. But when you lick his tip, he groans. Probably the deepest you've ever heard him yet, so it's obvious that you're driving him insane. And you enjoy that, which is why you lick around his tip, just slowly. His fists ball up, and they clench even harder when you take him entirely inside your mouth. "Oh my god," He moans,, what did he do to deserve this from you.? You don't respond but instead bob your head at a pretty reasonable starting pace. He's struggling to keep his hands in one place, moving them anywhere he can but nowhere seemed comfortable for him. That is until he places his hands in your hair, trying his absolute hardest not to move your head any faster. Dongmin can't believe how close he is already, but considering the circumstances he's currently in, he's surprised he's lasted this long. He's starting to feel more sensitive, which doesn't get better when he feels your tongue travel down the slit of his tip You know you're driving him crazy, and you're enjoying every second of it. His hips start twitching from how hard he's trying to not let them move like you had asked, but ultimately finding himself unable to when he thrusts up into your mouth. Nothing comes out of your mouth about it, knowing he can't control it which is why you let him push your head down with his hands. His head falls back and his eyes are shut. You stare at him in awe as whimpers pour out his mouth, some mentioning how he's close and can't hold it even if he tried. He looks back at you, and the sight of you looking up at him with his cock in your mouth sends him over the edge. His hips twitch as loads of cum gets shot into your mouth, and he watches as you swallow it all, making him moan.

You knead his thighs softly as he calms down from his orgasm, and when he finally regains consciousness, he lays you down in his place. Neither of you exchange words and yet you understand him entirely. It's your turn now. "No panties?" He comments when your pants are fully off. "None for you." You smirk a tiny bit, sinking into the mattress of his bed as he spreads your legs open. Dongmin starts feeling nervous when he looks at you, he's never given a girl head before. What if he messes up, or what if he isn't good? But he also wouldn't know unless he tries, so with a deep breath he finally places his tongue on your pussy. You wiggle into his mouth, liking the feeling of his hot spit on you. "Dongmin, please.." Your small beg for him, gave him all the motivation that he needed. He licks your clit until he's more comfortable exploring the rest of your pussy. Attempting to cover any places that might bring pleasure to you. He feels your fingers in his hair, similarly like how he was with you, except you don't move his head, you're just keeping them there for support. And so he goes back to sucking your clit, doing his absolute best to make sure he's able to give head right. Dongmin loves the way you're a moaning mess because of him, praising him while also babbling about how good it feels, and he's taking pride in that. Everything sent blood right back to his already aching cock. You feel the bed rock slightly, realizing it's because Dongmin is moving his hips against the surface to the pace his tongue is moving. And just on cue he moans into you, sending pleasure up, making you moan loudly as well. You've officially lost it when Dongmin uses his thumb to draw circles on your clit while using his tongue inside of you. You've never felt so good in your entire life, not with anyone else at least. He's doing his absolute best to focus on you only, so he doesn't even notice that he's unconsciously humping the bed until he feels another orgasm creep up. But he wants to get you there before him, so he speeds up his pace against you, watching as your back arches in a way he hasn't seen before. Your grip against his hair tightens, which makes him moan again, and you swear you're seeing stars. And before you know it, you're cumming against his mouth, rubbing against his tongue as much as you can to let the feeling last. Dongmin cums practically right after you, holding onto your thighs as hard as he can until he's cumming for the second time in an hour. He licks up all of your cum around his lips, smiling at you after. "Oh my pretty boy, that was so good," You smile back at him, voice low from tiredness. His heart pounds extra loud upon hearing your praise for him. He lays down next to you, exhaustion catching up with him, and with the way your eyes flutter, he can tell exhaustion caught up with you too. He takes an extra long look at you beside him, your eyes finally rest shut, and he moves a piece of hair out of your face and behind your ear. He's so lucky.

He's kissing you again. He swears he's addicted. Whenever you aren't with him, his lips feel bare. You're like a drug to him. He just can't get enough. He can't get used to the feeling of your hands in his hair, tugging on a few strands as you dig your tongue into his mouth. A small whine leaving his mouth as he brushes his bulge against you desperately. "Eager pretty boy?" He's unable to respond, so he just moans into your mouth, just the thought of entering you again makes his stomach churn. "I finally bought condoms," He says between breaths, "Took a lot of courage buying them." You wrap your arms around his neck, unbalancing him so he's laying down with you above him, "I love you." You love him.. "You know I love you too," His hands snake up under your shirt, lifting it off. "You're so good to me.." You say, kissing his neck, feeling his hips lift up into yours. You hold onto his hips, rubbing down on them, the friction between clothing causing Dongmin to moan. He loves any contact with you, just the feeling of you pressing against his dick makes his tummy flip. He's not sure what to do with his arms, eventually placing them on your thighs, feeling your body shift above him. You start undoing his sweats, gently pushing them down as he watches. You keep eye contact with him as you remove your sweats too, having less clothes keeping you away from his bare skin. You were feeling too lazy to actually remove the rest of the clothing so instead you just remove his dick from his boxers, and pushed your panties aside. Without breaking eye contact, you held his dick in your hands before sliding his tip against your folds. His eyes flutter shut, hands returning to your thighs. You circle your clit with his tip, your chest rising and falling. Dongmin letting out whimpers from the torturous movements. "Condom." You tell him in a quieter voice, you need him inside of you now. You watch as he messes with a box on his nightstand, pulling open the package. "You wanna do it?" You nod and grab the condom from him, slipping it onto him quickly. You take a deep breath before sinking down on him, biting your lip. Feeling Dongmin's hands tighten on your thighs, holding you down on his dick as deep as it can go. He pushes up into you, feeling your hands quickly hold him down. "Wait," You stop him from thrusting up into you again. "Let's just stay like this for a little bit." He doesn't respond, but he holds you tightly, as if you were about to float away. "I want this to last forever." It can. He can make that happen. "Angel.." Dongmin starts, kissing the top of your head, "I'm waiting for you.. I want this to last forever too, but I'm not sure if that's what you want.." You close your eyes, feeling the wetness from your tears, "It is what I want. I want you. I only want you." Dongmin's never been so conflicted. How can you want only him,, but not accept it when he's giving his all to you? He doesn't respond, he just does his best to ignore the aching pain coming from his dick, trying to enjoy the only intimate moments you give him. He's not sure how much more of this he could take.

He unclips your bra and slips it out between the two of you, loving the feeling of your tits against his chest. A tear unknowingly falls down your cheek and onto his chest, which he felt, "Are you okay?" "Mhm." You nod, face not showing in his direction, "You can,,,, go now." He thrusts up into you, placing kisses all over your skin. You whip away any leftover tears, and sit up. You put your hands on his chest for support, whispering his name under your breath. He's also moaning your voice, his senses heightened whenever he's with you. "I'm yours, right?" Dongmin continues to thrust into you, "Tell me I'm yours.." "You're mine baby." A small smile appears on your face after looking down at Dongmin, his cheeks are red and his eyes are glossy, "All mine." He's determined to make you cum first, holding in his orgasm for you. You're his priority, you're his #1. "Min I'm close-" You say, now grinding on him as he thrusts up, looking at the way he's breathing heavily. "You're close too aren't you?" He nods, not opening his mouth or else he wouldn't be able to control his words. He's now slamming his hips into yours, closing his eyes and opening them just in time to watch as your entire face mirrors the intense pleasure of your orgasm. He came too. But he hardly noticed over how focused he was on your effortless beauty. You got off of him, laying down right next to him as you kissed his lips softly. He's staring into your eyes when your phone starts ringing. "Fuck," You get up and grab your phone as he watches, "Hey babe. No yeah I'm on my way." You hang up and go searching for the close sprawled on Dongmin's bedroom floor. He's just looking at you, watching you gather your clothes. "He needs me to come over, and he sounds pretty angry too." You smile at Dongmin before placing a kiss on his cheek. "Do you know where my panties are?" You frantically look around his room for them. "Leave them here." He holds himself up by his arms. "You don't need them." You look at him and tilt your head, "What if he finds out I was here with you?" "So what?" "Dongmin.. He can't find out." Dongmin's such a fool.

If he's left with his thoughts anymore, he might go insane. It's been going on for 4 weeks, but it's been 6 days since he has last seen you. According to you, your boyfriend suspects something is up, but Dongmin's the last person on earth he'd think you were cheating on him with. You weren't responding to his texts or calls either, he's starting to wonder if he's lost you again. You kept posting about being at parties with your boyfriend for the past few days, you told Dongmin you couldn't see him cause you were busy with school workload. Dongmin offered to help you with work, he even told you that you'd do it for you, and you still said no. He needed to fill that empty space you had been occupying, which is why he's standing in front of the door to a classroom that was currently holding the school's 'aspiring artist' club. He's been meaning to attend for quite a while now, but never had the actual courage to show up. He just needed something, anything, to get you out of his head.

When he opened the door, the classroom was empty. Did he have the wrong time? "Hey man, can you hold the door open for us?" He turned around to see two guys rolling a cart of instruments towards the door, he immediately moved out the way for them to get into the classroom. "Thanks. Are you here for club?" Dongmin just nods, the other boy putting the instruments in the back of the classroom. The first boy holds his hand out with a smile, "I'm Jaehyun and the one back there is Leehan." Dongmin opens his mouth to respond but Jaehyun continues, "It's only us here today because the other members had other things to do. But you're welcome to stay!" "I'm Don-" "Are you here cause you want to make music?" Jaehyun looks at Leehan, "We also want to make music! We love composing and all that, do you like composing?" "..." "You seem like you'd be more into writing lyrics, maybe even both." Jaehyun tilts his head, "Not much of a talker are you?" "He's not talking cause you're not letting him," Leehan playfully pushes Jaehyun out the way, "And I'm Donghyun not Leehan." The two of them stare at Dongmin, waiting for him to say something. "I'm Dongmin.. And I do enjoy composing and writing." Jaehyun looks like he could explode with happiness, "Would it be too invasive of me to ask if I could hear something?" Dongmin doesn't like showing people his music, not that he has many people to show it to, but what if the people he's showing it to doesn't like it? What if they're too judgmental? Thankfully Jaehyun and Leehan were very nice about it. They both had to cover their mouths from opening and made many comments about how talented he was, and that everyone should listen to it. "The girl you wrote the songs about is very lucky hm.?" Jaehyun attempts to make small talk. It would've worked literally any other day but Dongmin was here specifically so he didn't have to think of you,, and now he's forced to think of you all over again. He smiles at Jaehyun, helping set up the drum set they were unpacking, "I guess," He shrugs, "She has a boyfriend." "She has a boyfriend and you're writing a song about her?" Leehan raises an eyebrow, "Does he know?" Dongmin looks up at Leehan, "Her boyfriend? No he doesn't know.. But she does." Jaehyun and Leehan exchange a look before Jaehyun puts the parts of the drum he was holding down and grabs his computer, "I think you should upload your songs." Jaehyun opens the soundcloud website, "Make an account." "Why?" Dongmin asks, taking a seat next to Jaehyun. "Look man, you clearly have unfinished business with this girl, and we can't help you with it." He sighs, "But the music you're making about her is actually really good, and you may be able to benefit from your feelings if you upload your music." Dongmin takes a seat next to Jaehyun, staring at the website, "I won't be able to upload them right now." "So do it later," Jaehyun pushes his computer towards Dongmin, "I just don't think these songs should be for our ears only." Maybe Jaehyun's right, Dongmin has always wanted to make his music private, but he's always been too scared to. This was probably a sign that he should, and so he puts his artist name as 'Taesan,' creates the account and makes a mental note to actually do something with the account later. "You're like a male heartbroken Avril Lavigne," Leehan mentions, cleaning up the mess of instrument cases, "Maybe except a little more heartbroken." Dongmin actually smiles at that, sinking in the uncomfortable chair. Maybe he's a little glad he met Jaehyun and Leehan. And who knows? Maybe he'll go famous and you'll fall in love with him then. -

The moment he finished uploading all his songs onto his newly created soundcloud, there was a knock at the door. And when he opened the door, he couldn't be happier. It didn't even take you two seconds before you were shoving your tongue into his mouth, slamming the door behind you. "I have 15 minutes." "Only 15 minutes?" Dongmin repeats between kisses, guiding the two of you to his room. You remove your hoodie, holding his face in your hands, "I have a date." He holds your hands in his and presses kisses down your neck, "Yet you're here.?" "I've felt very Dongmin deprived." You let out a low groan when Dongmin kisses the sensitive spot on your neck. "Yeah cause you haven't seen me in a-" He's interrupted with you moving your hips against him. He mimics your actions, hands moving to hold onto your ass, "Just shut up okay?" You say quietly. And he listens, because he will always listen to you. Your arms are wrapped around his neck, leaning on his shoulders for stability, still grinding your hips on him at a comfortable pace. He closes his eyes, just focusing on the slight release he's feeling from his cock because of you. You kiss all over his neck, sucking on a spot under his ear, feeling his hips hit up into yours. Feeling more desperate, you speed up, earning soft moans from Dongmin. You keep looking at the time and right as he's reaching his orgasm, you stop. "Fuck, I have to go." "Are you kidding??" Dongmin groans as you get off his lap, picking up your hoodie from off the floor. "I'm sorry," You pout, palming his bulge once before kissing him, "I can't stay longer." You check the time one more time before quickly making your way out of his room. "Why can't you.?" He follows your hurried body into the living room, watching you put on your shoes, almost losing balance and falling. You search for your purse, "Because we are dating." "You're cheating on him." He brings up. "Don't start with that." You flare your nostrils, "That's not fair." Dongmin's voice gets smaller, "Yeah well it's not very fair on me either." "I thought of you while having sex with him." Is the last thing you say before opening the door and walking out. He could just die. For multiple reasons. 1, you left. 2, you just told him a piece of information that he will think about every second of every day. and 3, his cock is still hard. And he never got to cum. He's patting himself on the back for keeping your panties that one time. He also has zero intentions on returning them. So maybe he is a perv. He takes them out of one of his drawers and drags his thumb across the crotch of it. So thankful he never gave them back to you. Just looking at them made him remember that night, the way you looked, the way you felt. All the thoughts flooded back to his cock, pressed against the cotton fabric of the same sweats he wore that night with you. You. That was all he could think about.

It seemed like all he was doing was thinking, even as he was ridding himself of all clothes in the way of his cock. Laying down on his bed, wanting you on top of him like you always are. He wraps the fabric of your panties around the tip of his cock before moving it in circles, his hips immediately jolting at the feeling. "Fuck.." Your panties feel really nice against his skin, especially when he starts thrusting into his hand, releasing moans from his throat. He's desperate for whatever release he can get, especially since he's only been relying on you for the past few weeks. You. It's all he can think about. It's all he's imagining,,, He's imagining that you're the one surrounding his cock, and not your panties. He's imagining that you're with him. Knowing it's your panties touching him only makes his dream feel real, and he speeds up his, knowing he's been wanting to cum since he was with you. The way his hand moves around his cock causes him to breathe heavily, noticing his long awaited orgasm approach, making him go faster. He's repeating your name in-between 'sorries' as cum shoots out of his cock. His chest falling as he opens his eyes, reality setting in. He stares at your panties in his hand, now covered in his cum. He really hates your boyfriend.

Dongmin knows he can't keep fueling this. He knows cheating is wrong and yet he's helping you cheat. His heart doesn't know any better. At the end of the day, he's the one making you cum, he's the one taking care of you, so he really can't understand why you just wont end your relationship. I mean you let him cum inside of you the very first time you guys had sex. So obviously it meant something for you.. His brain just can't seem to overpower his heart no matter what he does. He could honestly just cry. He's starting to feel bad for himself. Your words don't match your actions, and he still doesn't exist to you outside of the privacy of either one of your bedrooms. But he keeps doing this to himself, he keeps entangling himself with you. And he's about to do it again. Your boyfriend just left, and you had asked him to come over. Normally people who know they're in a bad relationship, or whatever you can call this, would say no and turn around, and maybe even go home. But he's Dongmin. Someone who is so in love with you that he would do anything. Even if it meant just being a fuck buddy. Even if that meant helping you cheat. It takes you a moment to open the door, smiling at the sight of him. "Sorry, I was just tidying up a bit." "For me?" He can't help but smile, especially when you plant a kiss on him right after too. You make a small pout with your lips and softly caress his cheek, "Of course for you, silly. Who else?"

Dongmin loved everything about you. But if he had to dislike one thing, it would be the way you lead him on. How you pretend like you like him, but only when it's just the two of you. How you acknowledge your boyfriend is nothing compared to him, and yet you stay with him. Why? "I've wanted you so bad." He says, wrapping his arms around your waist. You look up at him, smile slowly fading as you stand on your tippy toes to kiss him again. Not speaking back, just responding with your actions. And he knows you've wanted him just as bad when you bite in his bottom lip so you can sneak your tongue into his mouth, earning a groan from him. "How badly?" You finally respond, batting your eyelashes, not taking your eyes off his. He leans in to kiss you, "So badly." He whispers before placing his lips on yours, holding your head up with his hand gently. You manage to wrap your legs around his waist, feeling his hands come to hold you up without breaking the kiss. He could kiss you forever.

He carries you to your bedroom like this, placing you on your bed as he stands between your legs. He wishes he could kiss you forever. You grind your hips against his, feeling his cock grow against you when you grab his hair. He's kissing you as if he's never kissed you before. Like he wants what he can't have. He can't have you. So he takes whatever time he can get with you, through all the obstacles in his way, even if it's a secret. As long as he gets some of you,, a little piece of you,, at least. He removes your clothes slowly, admiring you again, dragging his fingertips across any part of your body he can touch. Your hand grabbing his, "Dongmin." You snap him out of the trance you put him in, and he realizes he's the only one fully dressed. But he's frozen. He can't move. He doesn't want to move. Normally you would tell him to snap out of it, but today you don't feel like doing that either. Instead you help him out of his clothes, placing a soft kiss on the middle of his stomach. "Come on Min," You shake his arm, speaking in a very soft tone, "I'm sure whatever you're thinking about can wait." You. It's all he can think about. It's all he's ever thinking about. "Sorry," He let's go of your hand, heading to your dresser for a condom. He knows all too well about where you keep them. He pumps his cock a few times before sliding it on, going back to you. "My pretty boy..." Is all that you say before he's entering you, making your back arch. Your pretty boy. He will always belong to you. He holds onto your legs as he thrusts into you, watching as you hold onto your bedsheets, your fists balling up. Despite his head making him unable to think straight, he's still keeping up good momentum. He notices a tear fall from your eyes, voice breaking every time he thrusts into you. He doesn't know why you're crying,,, how could he know if you don't even know.? Yet it makes him cry a little too. And he still doesn't know why,, but the air in the room today is heavy, almost suffocating. Why does he feel like he's losing you? He thrusts into you with more force, but not at a faster pace. He's taking his time. Moving his hands from your legs to your waist, so that way he could look at you from above. The way every part of your face reacts, the way your eyelashes look with your eyes closed, and even the dried up tears on your cheeks. Those dried up tears. He's sure his tears dried up too. You start grabbing at his arms holding your waist, fingers digging into them. "Oh shit, Dongmin." You open your eyes, wanting to look at his face while you approach your orgasm.

And he's approaching his too, with the way he's speeding up his hip movements. Watching as he bites his lip really hard,,, he doesn't feel like making much noise right now. He only wants to hear you. You both reach your climax at the same time, feeling his cock twitch inside you. Remembering the way you moan his name every time he makes you cum. He swears the sounds only get sweeter and sweeter. He rubs soft circles on the skin of your thighs, comforting you through the intense feeling after your orgasm. Waiting until you're breathing returns to normal before pulling out. Dongmin removes the condom and makes an attempt to throw it right at the trashcan in your room. And he puts his boxers back on before collapsing on the bed next to you. For the next few minutes you just lay in comfortable silence, your arm wrapped around his stomach. Your grip on him tighter than he's ever felt, and you look like you're contemplating saying something. "Are you Taesan?" You finally ask, watching as his face drops. He doesn't even look back at you, "What?" "Are those songs about me?" "No." He lies. That's the first time Dongmin has ever lied to you like that. You sit up, placing a hand on his, "You can't lie to me, Taesan." Now it's his turn to sit up, "Who told you about it." "A friend of mine. She found it and sent it to me," You play with your fingers, "The lyrics were oddly familiar." "I can't deny it.." When you don't say anything, he continues, "You know I'm in love with you." You quickly respond, "You can't be." "Why not?" Dongmin says grabbing his clothes, handing you yours, "I know you're in love with me too." You take the clothes out of his hand, putting them on, "I'm not." "Yes you are,, You can't lie to me either... I know you are." Dongmin's voice gets slightly louder, a small quiver appearing. "I can't keep waiting for you." You place your hands on your face, "This was such a mistake." "What?" You try to talk but all that comes out is a deep breath, "I'm sorry Dongmin. This never should've happened." He can't believe this is happening. You stand up, opening the door to your room and leading him to wear his shoes are. "But it did. It did happen. Multiple times." Dongmin says following you, "And you liked it. That's why you still slept with me just now, knowing I wrote songs about you, knowing that I really like you." He sensed this the moment he walked through your door. He knew something was wrong, that's why you cried. That's why he cried. He somehow knew it would be your last time together, but he didn't even realize it. You open your door, watching as he puts his shoes on and steps outside, looking back at you. "You're right, I did know.. and I did like it. I loved you." You look down at your feet, sniffling, "I just wanted to be with you one last time." He's unable to say anything, his throat is clogged. He has so much more he wants to say, yet he's scared. "I'm sorry. Goodbye, Dongmin." You make an attempt to smile, not being able to hide the tear falling down your cheek. He went from looking at your face to now suddenly staring at the front of your door. Out of the 8 billion people on earth, why him?

#in honor of how? release #so proud of bnd #boynextdoor #boynextdoor smut #taesan #taesan smut

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gremlingottoosilly · 4 months

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Hostess!Reader X König?

(I assume you mean like a Japanese Hostess and not a regular restaurant one, although I would have written about Konig getting his dick so hard he blacks out over a pretty woman asking him if he has a reservation at the nearest restaurant) Konig is...tired. Extremely. A man of his position and money shouldn't spend so much of both resources on women in those clubs, but he just doesn't give a fuck anymore. Dating is hopeless - he can get a quick fuck, but then he gets attached, then he starts to message and ask them about their day, wish them good morning and get ghosted by yet another lady who just wanted a ride to big dick town for tonight. He can get past one date, and then he will ruin everything as soon as he starts talking more than a few sentences. He is yearning for love with the demeanor and outlook of a guy who would murder you in the alley and steal loot from your corpse. Que you. Charming, elegant, pretty. You might not be the most popular woman at your club - Konig wouldn't come for the lady of the night, of course, he needs to be more confident, but he will find himself some pretty underappreciated woman who might need a bit of a company. You're bored, not basking in attention from every guy in the room - so your world is just a bit brighter when Konig is around. He doesn't make you drink - already a green flag for the clients. He does order things so you could eat with him, and he sometimes asks for you to pour the shot in his mouth - a weird task, but you would take it over surviving through another night of alcohol poisoning. You light cigarettes for him, you hug him and ask him about his day. He is reluctant, that much is obvious. Your normal hostess demeanor isn't working because this guy doesn't just want a polite and well-mannered lady, he wants either an innocent angel who can't pronounce the word cock or a housewife who will get rid of his mommy issues once and for all. He practically eats out of the palm of your hand - which is enticing, seriously, you love that about him, but you also do feel kinda weird whenever he writes. You exchanged numbers because this is a good way of making him go to the club over and over, but you start regret the decision once he is bombarding you with money transfers(which is nice) and virtual postcards(which reminds you of exactly how weird the guy is)

#cod #konig x reader #konig #cod x reader #yandere konig

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daportalpractitioner · 5 months

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mommy's moon sign: a thread ☾ part two — libra thru pisces

if you're looking for part one (aries-virgo), then click here

libra moon: if your mom has a libra moon, she could have been more preoccupied with her relationship with your father rather than putting herself in a position to be focused on her pregnancy + preparing a balanced environment for you. libra moon mamas often go through it with the father of the baby if they prematurely decide to have kids outside of wedlock (we don't judge over here). your mom could have been more focused on the aesthetics of motherhood + also on you being able to have both parents under one roof to be able to fit her ideal family picture. this mentality could have led her to distract herself from the bigger picture which is making sure that she is in a healthy, fulfilling relationship with your father. i wouldn't be surprised if you knew more than you should have when it comes to your parents' relationship as a child. with libra being the sign of relationships, the relationship patterns that your mother exhibited when pregnant with you could have been something that you picked up on, whether it be healthy or unhealthy. beware of issues with co-dependency + people pleasing passed down from your mom as those are big themes that must be overcome in the life of a libra moon mama. libra moon mamas hold a lot of resentment due to being so passive about people overstepping their boundaries + could project that pain onto you if it remains undealt with. as her child, she may be triggered by her relationship with you because she sees you as her mirror. encourage her to have strong boundaries. it's okay for her to say no and she won't be hated for it. respect her decisions. be sure not to be the child that coddles her emotions at the end of the day because she is a grown ass woman, but you should affirm her that it is okay to self-validate without trying to over-rationalize however she feels so that she can move through her emotions + not be avoidant.

scorpio moon: the moon is in a debilitating position (fall) when in scorpio, therefore, it isn't uncommon for women to have a painful pregnancy due to all of the trauma being stored in the womb. your scorpio moon mama may have lived in a state of fear or distrust during her pregnancy + i wouldn't be surprised if she felt alone due to not trusting people. this lack of nurture within the womb was definitely passed down to you if she didn't take accountability to heal from the pain that she experienced. scorpio moon mama would kill to make sure that all your needs are met, but when it comes to handling intense emotions, she may have not known how to navigate those with you (similar to capricorn moon mothers). scorpio moons experience a wounded relationship with their own mother + now that it's their turn to be a mom, they want to be better for their children. motherhood is definitely something that transformed them for the better + they really have the make a conscious effort to not display the same patterns that hurt their inner child. be patient with her + even though you are not responsible for her emotions + how she handles them, provide a safe space for her so that she knows that she is not alone. having emotional boundaries with your mother is also important — not having those boundaries with her can manifest into perpetuating a preoccupied/anxious attachment within yourself.

sagittarius moon: sagittarius moon moms usually end up unexpectedly pregnant. i've noticed that a lot of sag moons are not aware of their cycle which can definitely be responsible for unexpected pregnancies. nonetheless, their pregnancy + motherhood is something they ended up being excited about. they could have had a "fuck it, we ball" mentality because realistically speaking, such is life. lack of preparation could have led to instability in your mother's life while she was pregnant + even after giving birth, bouncing around from place to place. sagittarius moon mamas usually have a youthful + humorous personality, being able to relate with their children + make them laugh. it can be hard to take a sagittarius moon mother seriously because they're usually deemed as the "cool moms" that are very lenient with their children. they can often struggle with disciplining their children because of their own free-spirit nature. if your mother didn't prioritize structure + routine while raising you, it's possible that you downloaded that naturally chaotic, fiery, and unpredictable energy that she also has. sagittarius moon mamas need to be able to teach their children that there are consequences to their actions so that their kids don't end up getting in trouble later on in life or even dangerous situations. hold your own mother accountable for her actions + don't be afraid to put her in her place! she has a lot to learn from her experience as a mother, which includes listening to the ones that she birthed.

capricorn moon: capricorn moon mothers usually have children later on in life (not always though) - either way, the universe granted them their babies when they were ready + prepared to take on this mission as a mother. before motherhood, capricorn moon mommies could have performed the motherly role in other ways (eldest sister, nursing/doctor/healer career, etc etc) so this is not their first rodeo. capricorn moons get a reputation for being cold + stern, which is how they may come across but really they are just not about the bullshit + they take their role as a mother very seriously. they recognize how serious motherhood is and therefore you are going to respect the fuck out of your capricorn mother, even if you don't agree with some of the things that she has tried to instill in you. capricorn moon mothers are focused on legacy + will do her best to make sure that she raises well-rounded children, setting them up for success. so if you have the kind of mother that has tried to shove education + career down your throat, it's because she just wants you to be successful. they also may struggle with being in their feminine energy, especially if your mother is the provider in the house so as her child, you should encourage her to do some therapeutic activities with you to ease some of that stress. though she takes her role as a mother very seriously, there is no denying how stressful the role is on her + can really take a toll on her physical body. if she's open to it because i know how traditional capricorn moons can be, i highly recommend going to therapy together in order to unpack + heal some of those deep seated emotional blockages that can really help to improve + strengthen the family unit.

aquarius moon: these are the unorthodox mothers. the mothers that have instilled confidence in their children from a very early age. your mother may have gotten pregnancy at an awkward time in her life, therefore she realized that she had to start getting real strategic around here to ensure success for this nu era in her life. with an aquarius moon mother, there may have been some distance between you two, whether it be physical or emotional distance. i've noticed that people with aquarius moon mothers were raised by their grandparents or were adopted + don't really know their mother like that (along with pisces moon mamas). if your mother was present throughout your entire upbringing, you may have noticed that she was preoccupied with other tasks such as showing up for her tasks in the real world. there could be strain between you and your mother because you may have felt like she could have paid more attention to you. regardless of how your relationship with your mother manifested, you more than likely came out to be very independent + confident enough to march to the beat of your own drum. these are the moms that started cursing in front of their kids since they were babies. because aquarius moon mamas are very independent themselves, you could have felt like your aquarius moon mama robbed you of your childhood because you too had to learn how to become independent + self-reliant from a young age, resulting in inner child wounds. because the relationship that you have with your mother is not like the traditional mother-child relationship, she can come off more like a friend or an older sister, also resulting in mother wounds because of that lack of motherly nurturance that the child craves + needs. learning to become emotionally vulnerable + transparent with your mother is a theme in order to evolve the relationship. validate where you feel like she may have lacked while also respecting the fact that she did the best that she knew how to. she needs you as someone to hold her ego accountable.

pisces moon: similar to the aqua moon mom, your mother may have been there, but also not "there". there could have been a period in your life where your mother was not physically present + you had to be raised by someone other than her (grandparents, foster care, aunts/uncles, etc). your mother may not have been in the most ideal situation when she got pregnant with you + pregnancy could have also been a karmic consequence for not listening to her intuition. regardless, when she knew she was pregnant, there was no way she could give up the opportunity to be a mother. if your mom was physically away from you, she was always there in spirit, praying for you + making sure that you are spiritually protected even if it's just by asking the powers that be to watch over you. like the other water moons, pisces moon mama may have had a traumatic relationship with their mother + may have transferred over that pain into the relationship that you've had with your mom. having a pisces moon mommy is not for the weak, especially if she didn't do her due diligence of karmic clean up, leaving it for you to take responsibility for. pisces moon mamas may also avoid the accountability + the responsibility of being a mother because the weight of motherhood is just too heavy, especially if she has lack of support, which often times they do. regardless of how your relationship is with mom, the energetic bond runs so deep as you are strongly karmically bound in order for certain karmic missions to be completed. definitely not the most reliable mom, but at the end of the day, it will forever be all love when it comes to her children. it's best to just accept her as is - whatever has transpired is not your fault, but it is your responsibility to do better for your own life.

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icanseethefuture333 · 1 year

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PAC: What makes you so sweet + who's sweet on you? 🍓🍰♥️

This spread was inspired by Strawberry shortcake :D! A childhood favorite of mine. You are allowed to choose one or more pile for each question! Use your intuition to decide 🥰 Please leave a tip if you can $$$

Pile 1:

Your songs -

I Don't Wanna by Aaliyah

Konclusions by YG & Kehlani

Crushcrushcrush by Coco & Clair Clair

Your dessert -

Pumpkin spice latte 🎃

What makes you so sweet?:

The Empress, Three of Pentacles (reversed), & Six of Pentacles

You are so loving and caring pile 1! 🥰 people could think that you have a "big heart" and wish they could give back all that you do for them. You could have venusian qualities or Libra/Taurus placements. You are a very selfless person and for that in exchange you just really desire friendship and loyalty! Your love language could be acts of service or gifts. You could also be very physically attractive 🤭 but you may not realize this??? You could be more self conscious about how you look and possibly put others on a pedestal for their appearance. You might question if you're actually pretty at times because people might not compliment you much but it's just really because you make them shy 🥺! In private, others could consider you their muse. People could like to draw you or write songs about you. It's giving girl next door energy. The way that you dress could be modest too. You could like to wear long sleeve shirts, sweaters, cardigans, flowy dresses, etc. Fall/autumn could be your favorite time of the year because it fits your taste in style! People could think that you give off a very warm and cozy aura. So comforting 💞

Who's sweet on you?:

Page of Swords, Ten of Swords, & Two of Swords

Lmao poor pile 1 😭 I feel bad so your secret admirer is someone who's ghosted you recently or who you just lost contact with. This person has attachment issues (avoidant I'm feeling?) Whenever they get close to love or start developing feelings for someone, they run away. They could be younger than you or they're just inexperienced when it comes to relationships. This person feels regret for ghosting you and wishes they could just reach out. They wish to tell you how they feel romantically but everytime they try to type out a text or get close to calling you, they chicken out. This person will eventually have to make a decision on if they should contact you or not but they're kind of stubborn 💀 good luck!

Pile 2:

Your songs -

Daisy 2.0 by Ashnikko & Miku Hatsune

Black eye by Vernon

Little Bit by Drake & Lykke Li

Your dessert -

Dark chocolate 🍫

What makes you so sweet?

The Devil (reversed), Ace of Cups, & The moon

Pile 2, you could be alternative??? Or just have a very intimidating/non-conventional beauty. Your style or overall appearance could be unique and that makes people weary to come near you. You possibly have a resting bitch face or you have "hunter eyes" (feline, snake, etc). Your features could go against European beauty standards as well. Contrary to what people think, you are actually so compassionate and sensitive. You could be secretly a hopeless romantic and be into romance novels, films, etc. I'm getting that you like to read or are into reading mangas. You could also like to watch anime or do cosplaying. Your geekiness is adorable 🤓! People like to hear about your interests and want to get to know you more if you feel comfortable. I see that you could have wounds from the past or currently are dealing with depression :( I'm sorry to hear that ❤️‍🩹! Just know that you aren't alone and you have people who care about you (including me!) Your guides want to tell you that you don't have to be so secretive dear. I'm getting that you possibly might have been bullied growing up? And they want you to understand that not everyone is going hurt you. People could think that you are beautiful in the nighttime or your beauty reminds them of the moon. Your skin could be luminescent and glowy when the light hits or your irises are big or have a unique color. You could possibly have Capricorn or Cancer placements. When you allow people to get close to you and gain trust, they appreciate it so much! Your talents, hobbies, and skills is what makes you so special 🥰 This could be only for a few people but some people here are musicians or should learn to play an instrument.

Who's sweet on you?

King of Cups, The Lovers, & Queen of Swords

This is good news for your love life :D! This person wants to come in with a offer and ask you either to be their partner or go out on a date. They are willing to court you and show how much you mean to them. You and this person could be very different than most couples. I'm getting that you guys could be a interracial couple, same sex couple, or just express yourselves differently when it comes to styles, aesthetics, and love languages. Don't be afraid to let this person in pile 2! They seem to really care for you and I can see once you fall in love with them, you're never gonna want to let them go ❤ What's cute about your dynamic is that this person is affectionate and outgoing while you're the more protective and reserved one LOL. I guess opposites do attract.

Pile 3:

Your songs -

While We're Young by Jhené Aiko

Child's Play by SZA & Chance The Rapper

Come by Doja Cat

Your dessert -

Lemon meringue pie 🥧

What makes you so sweet?

The Fool, Three of Wands, & Four of Wands

I feel like my pile 3 people are good singers 😳 if not, their voices are very soft and melodic 🤭 You love to listen to music a lot, for some of you I'm seeing that you like to listen to indie music or r&b. You're a very mellow person and radiate this down to earth energy. There is a lot of yellow on these cards as well so you could be connected to your solar plexus or that could be your favorite color/it suits your skintone. I'm seeing sunflowers 🌻 some of you might worship Oshun or should start doing research on her. You could be spiritual or religious. You have a carefree attitude because you know that the universe got you - period! You could be very knowledgeable on manifestation as well. People wonder what's your secret to life because you seem so lucky. I heard people even want to "rub you for good luck" 👀😂 you could like to dress in a bohemian or hippie style. You could wear like vegan leather backpacks, sandals, beads, feathers, rompers, and also dye your hair unnatural colors like blue, pink, etc. People could like that you're well traveled as well or you're knowledgeable about others cultures. You could speak more than one language. They like to hear about your travels or want to hear about your stories. I'm getting Leo, Sagittarius, or Virgo placements. You make friends where ever you go and it's very easy to talk to you 🌞! You radiate such a positive and divine energy. I just love that!

Who's sweet on you?:

The Emperor, Page of Wands, & King of Pentacles

This person could be older than you. They can be athletic but also act childish. They might have Aries traits or they have have it in their birth chart. They are creative, hard working, and . They take on traditional masculine qualities and would want to be a provider for their family. You could depend on this person and build able to form a secure and stable relationship. This could also signify that you and this person could get married in the future! Expect good news when it comes to your romantic endeavors.

Pile 4:

Your songs -

Favorite by HUNJIYA

Little Little by Red Velvet

Hymn For The Weekend by Coldplay Ft. Beyoncé

Your dessert -

Angel food cake 🎂

What makes you so sweet?

The Star, Strength, & Knight of Cups

Pile 4, you're giving me very much earth angel or starseed vibes 🌈🕊 something about you is very ethereal and angelic to people. They admire your elegance and healing energy. You could look good in the color white or pastel colors. You could have a nice physique as well 😋! Your hair could be very long with waves or curls. Some people fantasize about you naked because of how naturally beautiful you are 😅 It exudes something in them and your sex appeal is very arousing. I'm getting that you could also be nurturing and motherly, very wise. You could have Aquarius, Leo, or Pisces placements. People like your awareness on things and your acceptance of how people are instead of trying to change them. You could be very observant as well. You notice the little things in life and pay attention to the fine details that other don't. You have a keen eye for art or fashion. You could care for the environment and have a connection to animals or babies 🦋 You just embody a lot of divine feminine qualities and that makes people feel welcome and at ease around you.

Who's sweet on you?

Ace of Wands, Queen of Pentacles, & Nine of Pentacles

For you pile 4, I see that you're actually sweet on yourself (period self love)! I feel like as for right now in your love life, you're not looking for a commitment or should be focusing on committing to yourself and your goals. You could be coming out of a relationship or have been single for quite some time - no worries! I'm seeing finacial abundance coming to your life and your personal endeavors. I see that you're mostly gonna keep your options open for now and see different people. I'm seeing a lot of good sex as well ❤️‍🔥 There's gonna be fun dates and partying happening in your life. (Clarified by Justice) this could be for a few but some of you might hear or will start dating a Libra. I'm not seeing anything too serious but I'm getting that they could help you further your career. They could be a sugar daddy/mommy, you know them from work (boss, supervisor, or coworker), or they could work as a counselor, legal advisor, lawyer, etc.

Pile 5:

Your songs -

20/20 by Lil Tjay

On My Own by Darci

Into It by Chase Atlantic

Your dessert -

Red wine truffle 🍷

What makes you so sweet?

Nine of Cups, The World, & Temperance

Your self assurance, patience, and drive for success is what makes you so sweet pile 5! I'm getting badass energy from you and you have a very nonchalant, idgaf, rebellious attitude. I feel that growing up those in authority underestimated you and you managed to prove or will prove them all wrong with your achievements. You could have trophies, good grades, or receive a lot of praise for your work at school or your job. You could possibly be an athlete or participated in some sort of competition (dancing, mathlete, etc). You're beauty and brains, pile 5, the total package! You could have Scorpio, Gemini, or Aries placements. People wonder how you did it or overcome such hardships. You're someone people can look up to. You motivate them and make them want to do better. You could be the older sibling in your family or could have cousins younger than you? I'm having a vision of little kids looking at you and they're just in awe, how cute 🥹! Your independence and self confidence is so admirable.

Who's sweet on you?

Four of Swords, Knight of Wands, & Eight of Wands

Pile 5, when it comes to romance it could make you nervous or give you anxiety. You may not have time for it or whenever you go out on dates you overthink about it. There's no need to be nervous! Just be yourself sweetheart 💕 I feel that you know this person as well or already currently seeing someone. They could be on your team or they are in some sort of team (at work, in sports, etc). They like to move things pretty fast. You both could hate the talking stage and just wish to skip to the part where the both of you are best friends in love! I'm getting like coming of age love story and it's adorable ☺️ This person could like your hair or compliments you a lot on your hair. They could like your tattoos or piercings. There is going to be a lot of passion early on in the relationship and they will be very infatuated by you. Just be careful not to rush into thing if you want more of a serious relationship! If not, I feel that this would be a fun fling.

Pile 6:

Your songs -

Jasmine by DPR Live

I Wanna Be Down by Brandy

Who Can I Run To by Xscape

Your dessert -

Galaxy raindrop cake 💧

What makes you sweet?:

Ace of Pentacles, Seven of Pentacles, & Wheel of Fortune

Pile 6, I see that you're someone who's very generous with their wealth. Very similar to pile 1, you could be good with your finances, and have a lot of high quality material items. You're someone who takes value in the finer things and show gratitude for everything you have because there are those who are without. Whenever someone is struggling or is in need of help, you're always there! You're someone people can count in terms of an emergency. When people get asked about you they have fond memories of how much you been there for them (shit even me, I need more friends like you pile 6 😭). You're a down ass bitch! I feel that fortune is always on your side because of how selfless you are. Like pile 3, I feel that you could also know about manifestation, and use it to improve your life. You could do this without knowing. You could visualize yourself being rich or you affirm that you're lucky when it comes to money. I heard that your parents are very proud of you as well! You could really have an old soul pile 6. Your style could be more casual or reminiscent of the 80s/90s. I'm seeing mom jeans, crop tops, high top sneakers, jelly bracelets, henna tattoo chokers, gold chain, and mini hoop earrings.

Who's sweet on you?:

Six of Swords, The World, & Ace of Cups

Aw pile 6, so I see that a lot of people can depend on you but you don't have many people that you can turn to when you need help or need to take a load off 🥺 you could feel stressed because of this but don't worry someone will be coming in your love life soon! You could meet them overseas or while traveling. I'm getting military vibes so either you or this person will be in the military, if not the job requires traveling or dealing with foreign people/places. You and this person will have a harmonious relationship. So expect a new chapter and a good change in your love life!

Pile 7:

Your songs -

Generous by Doja Cat

No Silhouette by DPR Ian

Brooklyn Baby by Lana Del Rey

Your dessert:

Cannoli 🥖

What makes you sweet?:

Pile 7, your style is reminding me of mirror palais, summers in spain/Italy/mexico, or "bible study" outfits. Your style could cater to your religious beliefs or it's reminiscent of a holy figure. I feel that you could also dress very preppy. I'm seeing crosses, rosaries, cloaks, scarves, concho belts, a necklace with some sort of significant pendant (crystals, cross, buddha, etc), slippers/flats, stockings, long skirts, headbands, and button up tops. You have a very innocent and holy appearance. Some of you could be very sophisticated as well (its giving "my name is Bella Hadid"). People could think you're so pure that they're afraid of tainting you (in a nsfw way 😭). You make people blush because of how attractive you are. You could have a babyface, look younger than your actual age, or you have a youthful personality. People consider you "God's favorite" because of how perfect you seem or think God took their time with making you. You could be into modeling or you look like a model. Your lips could be nice and plump. They have a alluring shape with a vibrant color (they could be cherry red or they have a nice pink in the center of them if your lips are two toned). I am reminded of Monica Belluci in the role Milena where she had ginger hair and all the men were so seduced by her without her even trying (the scene where they were lighting her cigarette) and Salma Hayek in Desperado (where she caused people to crash their cars because of how hot she was 😂). You exude this femme fatale energy and could be becoming more "grown woman/man/person fine". This could also mean if you're underage, you could have major glow up after you're finished with puberty. You could also pray or be very devoted to your faith and people find that admirable.

Who's sweet on you?:

Five of Cups, The High Priestess, & Knight of Pentacles

You've been disappointed a lot in when it comes to your love life. You feel as though no one can satisfy you. You could have had your heart broken in a previous relationship so therefore you decided to stay single. I do feel that someone wants to come in though to show their love for you and will back up their words with action taking. They could be intimidated by you but they won't let their self esteem get in the way. They're gonna be persistent until you give in. Although pile 7, I suggest you heal wounds from your past relationship as well, it could cause you to self sabotage in your dating life, and prevent you from ever moving on. You deserve to be loved and receiving the pleasures of being in a happy relationship. So make sure to give them a chance when they come along.

Pile 8:

Your songs -

Headlines by McClenney

10% by Kaytranada & Kali Uchis

Jungle by Drake

Your dessert -

Creme Brulé 🍮

What makes you so sweet?:

Five of Pentacles, Justice, & Ace of Swords

Wow pile 8, you are someone who is fair and fights for equality. You hate to see people being kicked down and mistreated so you would do anything in your power to make sure others are safe. You're honestly a hero. For some people in this pile, you guys could have been abandoned by your parents, or was a orphan so because of this would you do your best to make sure that doesn't happen to anyone around you. You could do community service or take time out of your day to do activities with the kids that come from low income families. That's so sweet and I'm sorry that you went through that 🥺. If not, you have had really greedy people in your life. Whether it's a family member or authority in the workplace, they take from you a lot. Whether financially or emotionally. You could use your knowledge from these past situations for activism or fighting legal battles. You could work as a social worker, activist, politics, human relations, or in the legal system. Also people appreciate you for your great advice! You are very logical but at the same time optimistic. You know how to balance your brain and your heart, which not many people can do. You are a very strong person, pile 8.

Who's sweet on you?:

Ten of Wands, The Chariot, & King of Cups

You and this person could have broken up? I feel that this an ex who is wanting a second chance with you or a friend of yours who wants to be more than friends. You could have rejected them and they feel burdened by this because they still have feelings for you. It made them retreat and hide but they are not going to give up on this connection. You could have broken up with them because or their lack of vulnerability. They could have been uncomfortable with talking about their feelings or avoided having serious conversations, it triggers them. They are going to come back with a open heart to tell you how much you mean to them. For some people in this pile, this person might even propose to you 😲 if not a proposal for marriage, they could just ask you again to be their partner.

Pile 9:

Your songs -

Don't Hurt Me by DJ Mustard, Nicki Minaj, & Jeremih

Come Into You by Jimmy Brown

I Like U by Niki

Your dessert -

Gingersnap cookies 🍪

What makes you so sweet?:

Six of Cups, Page of Pentacles, & Seven of Cups

Pile 9, you are so cute😆! I feel like out of all the piles you are the youngest either in age or maturity. You could be someone thats very bubbly, clumsy, and full of energy. You have a childlike charm and your expressions are very sweet. I'm getting like how when little kids ask a question and they tilt their head while they do it. You just have this innocence to you but I also feel that you can be very mischievous. You could like to tease your peers and people find it very funny 😂. You could be very smart as well and do/did well in school! I'm getting that you're a teacher's pet and you always get good grades. You could give your teacher a hard time sometimes too (some of you could have talked too much in class and that would stress your teacher out LOL 😭). This pile honestly has me cracking up. You could also have a very big imagination. You could daydream a lot or fantasize about things a lot. People often wonder what you're thinking about when you do that. You could also have a lot of goals or are very creative. This pile gives off main character energy. It reminds me of Devi from Never Have I Ever or Jess from New Girl.

Who's sweet on you?:

Four of Wands, The Lovers, & Ten of Pentacles

I see that there's two cases for this pile. On one side you guys have a crush on someone or the other side they have someone who has a crush on them but despite that I'm seeing that the feelings are mutual for both parties! You know this person already and could be in the talking stage. I'm getting like a light, fun, flirty, playful energy between you and this person. You guys might have even already go on out on a date or will make plans to go out on a date soon. Which is so cute because as things develop and get more serious you both will realize that you're in love with each other 🤭. I'm having a vision of a couple blushing and being nervous to make eye contact 😭💓. This is going to be a long term relationship for sure and your families will be happy to see you guys together. I'm seeing like your families getting together for the holidays or coming together for dinner. For my younger kids in pile 9, this could mean your parents will allow you to date them, and when they introduce you to their parents, they will approve of the relationship so yay! 🥰

Thanks so much for reading! Have a nice day, here's a little treat 🍭🧁🍨🍬🍡🍦🧋🍧🍩

#pac #pick a card #pick a pile #tarot readings #tarot deck #tarot #tarot cards #shufflemancy #free readings #pendulum reading #astrology #astro observations #astrology observations #witchcraft #wicca #kpop #witches of color #black tarot readers

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ashipiko · 2 months

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WHATS THIS? ASHI HAS APPEARED W A NEW TWST OC? CRAZY!!!!! <3 introducing niko cimarron!!!

FEEL FREE TO COME INTO MY INBOX AND TALK ABOUT HIM BTW IT WOULD SOOO HELP ME DEVELOP HIM 🫶

“What’s it now, Carrots? Got yourself in another mess?”

INFO UNDER CUT!

• HE KINDA??? IS MAGICLESS? while in NRC. THE MAGIC SCHOOL.

• 😭😭 you may be wondering how exactly. he doesn’t know either. I FEEL LIKE MIRACULOUSLY HE DID IT AS A JOKE AND SOMEHOW GOT INTO NRC????? as for the entrance ceremony IM STILL WORKING ON IT but magicless fox boy. OK

• <3 scarabia 2nd year!! he vibe checked himself and was like “yk what this one is convincing enough” and here we are

• he doesn’t necessarily LIE despite people sayin that he does all the time 🤔🤔 more so that he’s really good w his words and he just kinda dodges questions in a creative way 🫶 does this sound familiar

• rumor has it he’s made out w azul once and no one knows if it’s actually true or not </3

• everytime he sells his little “pawpsicles” outside of montro lounge (like RIGHT outside) and Azul tries to kick him out he pulls the “oh I GET IT you’re just salty I’ve moved on aren’t you” and suddenly it’s like no one believes Azul 😭😭 ITS KINDA FUNNY

• the tweels LOVE him because of how entertaining he is espec w azul!!! THEY SUPPORT NIKO WRONGS!!!!

• best friend is crowley FR I feel like azul’s TRIED to talk to him about niko but he’s just “a student trying to make a profit. much like you, ashengrotto!” so it doesn’t work. AZUL OUT HERE STRUGGLING

• as for relations w the prefect I FEEL LIKE THEYD BE A LOT LIKE NICK AND JUDY. considering the fact that’s he’s also a magicless student in a magic school I can see a small scene where it’s like “you’re not alone, all right? hey— that doesn’t mean you can run off telling everyone, carrots.” BUUUT. he kinda has issues

• trying to keep up the act of him seemingly having magic because he doesn’t want to be exposed as a phony at NRC……. he doesn’t wanna give into that fox/playboy stereotype and now he’s kinda in this big mess of a lie that he can’t get himself outta 😔 so I imagine telling the prefect is a whole big thing with vulnerability

• he doesn’t care too much about the other guys at nrc but w the prefect who’s given him a chance to be smth more than just a flirt or playboy or scammer he’s kinda scared to tell them he’s been lying to their face this whole time. YK? HES JJST A LITTLE GUY!!!! 🫶 he’s attached to the prefect whether he’d admit it or not <3

• DID I MENTION HE KINDA HAS A PLAYBOY PERSONA?

• ALSO W CALLING THE PREFECT “CARROTS” I can imagine a scene at lunch where he meets the prefect and he’s like “oh you must really like carrots, huh? there’s a bunch on your plate” and yuu gets the decision of either “no, I hate carrots” or “yes, I love carrots!” and either way he goes “huh. well, carrots is your name now~”

#a widdle guy!!!#been holding off this idea for like since twst dropped #but it was only a matter of time till I twisted my fave disney chara……#COME INTERACT W HIM AND DROP ASKS ABOUT HIM PSPSPSPS #niko cimarron #ashi’s ocs ♡#twst oc #twisted wonderland oc #twisted wonderland original character #twst grim #grim twst #twst #disney twst #twst wonderland #twisted wonderland #ashipiko draws ♪

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elijahs-dumps · 4 months

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Nikolai Lantsov and his constant identity crisis known as Sturmhond

I'm currently in the process of re-reading all the Grishaverse books, and I'm about to start King of Scars. But before even starting to re-read that book I can see the seeds being planted when it comes to Nikolai's struggles with his identity. I feel like this is a really underrated aspect of Nikolai's character, which is strange to me since it's basically what his entire main arc is about in the King of Scars duology. This is why it was hinted at in Siege and Storm as well as Ruin and Rising.

Nikolai loves to be loved. Because of this, he is constantly changing his personality or demeanor to please whoever he is talking too. Alina mentions this many times through out Siege and Storm, and even believes it to be "creepy" how easily Nikolai can change himself for others. It's part of the reason why it takes her so long to truly trust Nikolai.

However, Sturmhond is a persona created by Nikolai for Nikolai. The differences between Sturmhond and Nikolai are minute, but they're undeniably there. For example, Sturmhond relies on his greed to make his decisions. He's also quicker to resort to violence than Nikolai usually is. He's still clever, forthcoming, charming, flirty, rich, well-respected. All the basic things that make Nikolai himself to the untrained eye, but it's the smaller differences that truly matter. In any role that Nikolai has to play through out his life, he always tries to keep the "main" or "most obvious" parts of himself present. These small changes are what make the bigger difference, especially since it's harder for others to pick up on when he interacts with them.

Sturmhond was originally created as a way for Nikolai to command respect or instill fear with his crew and his enemies, when it was necessary. Being a sea captain required Nikolai to abandon a lot of the things he'd learned while growing up in the Grand Palace and serving in the First Army. Thus, Sturmhond was born!

But after Sturmhond's reputation was secured, Nikolai most definitely could've started to slip back into his true self. The persona was not as necessary anymore. But Nikolai, at least while he was at sea, still didn't truly know who he was when he was not performing for others. I think Nikolai clung to Sturmhond because he was scared of having to figure out who he is when he's not pretending all the time.

We see Nikolai contemplating becoming Sturmhond again near the end of Rule of Wolves, very briefly. And t's safe to say a big part of Nikolai misses his life as a privateer. Sturmhond has always been and always will be the freest Nikolai will ever feel. Because, there are differences between the two identities, but it's all still Nikolai in the end. Yes, Sturmhond was inevitable in many ways, especially since Nikolai needed to avoid the risk of capture. But when Nikolai became a privateer, I think he knew a new identity was bound to be needed. Nikolai chose at life at sea, therefore he chose to become Sturmhond. While most of his other identities were most likely born out of necessity. This is partially why he's so attached to the persona of Sturmhond, because it's one of the only things in Nikolai's life that he has been able to decide for himself.

That's why I think the concept of Sturmhond is the main contributor to Nikolai's issues with identity. Because even though Nikolai always knew he needed to obtain the throne eventually, he still enjoyed his freedom. In fact, freedom might be the only thing Nikolai craves more than validation from others. This scares Nikolai, because validation from others is something he can almost always get when he needs to. But his freedom, away from Ravka and its royal court, is not something he's ever been able to control in that way.

#six of crows #grishaverse #shadow and bone #nikolai lantsov #rule of wolves #siege and storm #zoya nazyalensky #sturmhond #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #matthias helvar #nina zenik #crooked kingdom #analysis #the grisha trilogy

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sunisglowing · 7 months

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WHAT IS COMING IN YOUR LIFE DURING RAHU-KETU TRANSIT?

(in sidereal pisces-virgo axis)

PICK A CARD »»—––—>

paid readings available for indians only

to have a reading with me, dm me on twitter or insta (@sunisglowing)

PILE 1

This rahu-ketu transit will bring a lot of emotional maturity in your life. By the end of this period, you will get a better hold of your emotions and a better way of expressing your emotions.

I do see you getting betrayed by your close friends or siblings. You will see secrets uncover, something you didn't expect. maybe one of your friends or your relationship with siblings and friends go through a drastic change.

For some of you, you might feel out of control with your own finances. Maybe either the budget is tight, or someone else might take a hold of your finances. It might also be that you feel trapped in your responsibilities you may need to fulfill or have a burden to reach a certain financial goal.

For some of you, someone you trust might steal your money or would make excuses if you lend them. Please be careful who you are generous to. Look out for yourself first. I do see someone might use you for financial benefit so be cautious.

I do see your finances will be good so there might be people who have eyes on your gold.

Be reserved with your money and if you choose to donate make sure you are giving that to the right people and organizations.

PILE 2

The rahu-ketu transit would be a period of momentum, I mean things will be moving for you fast, especially if they have been pretty stagnant.

The next two years will be pretty successful for you in your endeavors and you will in competition.

You are moving in a new direction, a direction you feel called towards, not just out for survival. You'll be making some pretty big and hard choices in your life, regarding the things you are passionate about.

If you don't know it yet, then by the end of the next two years, you will find your inner calling. What makes you happy. You might recognize your true vocation. It feels like by the end of this transit, you will come out a completely different person, a new you.

So let go of your past and allow yourself to transform and take on a new direction. Release hidden potentials within yourself. Invest your energies in new growth. The process is about you and the desire you feel to change your life and become a more complete person. You need to have more faith in yourself. This period will teach you that, in an easy or hard way, depending on you.

Don't go by the belief that life will flow and changes will come on their own time. No. It won't. You need to take charge and take hold of your life. If you like something, don't expect it to flow towards you like a river. It will fly away like a bird :)

You are strong and capable of Taking charge, you just need to believe that you can do it. (And do it actually).

I see many cards indicating that you will have to make a tough decision during this period. At last, I think what's hesitating you is you feeling in someone else's control, like your family.

PILE 3

This chapter in your life with rahu-ketu transit will be the end of a long major chapter in your life.

It will bring a sense of wholeness in you. By looking into your past, you may find the answer, solution or at least an explanation.

You could be yearning for the old days or how things used to be.

Don't get too fixated with the past. If you are too rooted in the past it stops your forward progress and there is a danger of becoming shut down and very narrow-minded.

You have completed a phase and now you have to move forward. But moving forward is pretty difficult for you. You might be very attached with your childhood, whether it's the good or bad memories. Maybe you are very comfortable with the familiar faces that you are scared to face what's new.

This transit will test you to face things you haven't seen before. Childhood issues may be re-surfacing or coming back to haunt you. If you are experiencing problems in your life they may have originated in your childhood.

For some of you, Life may be too harsh for you now and you may seek the comfort and support that the innocence of childhood brought. It may be a sign that you do not want to take responsibility for yourself or the situation. You may have a habit of letting others sort out your problems all the time instead of tackling them yourself. Some of you are afraid to let go of the past.

Practice patience and compassion with yourself. The things you are struggling with are hard, but you have the strength to tackle them and manage them. Go slow but try.

Accept your situation and give yourself time. This period will calls for your inner strength and perseverance.

PILE 4

In this rahu ketu transit, your focus would be on the material. Focus on your career, money will be prominent. You will see the results of your hard work. So the amount of work you put in, you will get that back.

Take time to look back at all the progress you have made so far be resolute in the use of your time and energy. Take a course of action which will harmonise what you want with what is currently possible. The advice is to focus on the long run and plan and shape your goals accordingly.

There's no shortcut move available for you. You need to be patient with it and keep working.

You may also need to weigh a different approach in doing things, ponder on your alternative options. Especially if it's a career shift you wanna make.

At the beginning of this transit, some of you will be reflecting on what all has been done. You'll be assessing where you stand. Then some of you might consider a change of direction. You might be standing at a crossroads. Timing can be different for everyone who reads this and when during the transit it all plays out.

For others of you, the message is to wait as of now. Now is a time when all that is required is simply to be alert, patient and wait. You will see the return on your investments.

I also see that you have been desiring some good friendships. You want solid bonds with people but it feels like you haven't found your people, the ones who understand you. Pay attention to your dreams this time. If you have best friends, it might be that you feel more intutive about them, well idk how to word this properly, so for example you suddenly got a feeling that something bad happens to your friend and later it does happen. Some of you could be very emotionally attached to your friends or siblings, more than family. You might dream about your friends or siblings a lot during this period.

You might be feeling pretty insecure in your friendship and social life this period.

Your mental health might get very affected during this transit so take care of yourself.🤍 there wll be fears and insecurities while working with people or also making new friends too. It may be that past broken friendships are affecting you a lot emotionally and giving you Anxiety and stress. Especially in social situations or while making new friends.

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justanotherblogger · 4 months

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Random Rambles And Theories About Alastor Go!

Ok, so right now I am on a high with all the recent Alastor lore we've been blessed with in Hazbin Hotel, and this little murderer has been occupying my mind 24/7. I really need to get all my theories and rambles out that I don't see a lot of people talking about.

(BTW, before my ramble, I have seen many places say he was mixed race as a human, but if I am wrong, please let me know, because this delves deep into that with his human life.)

(Also be warned for a bit of gore/violence and that this thing is kind of long)

Now let's begin!

I'll start with the most talked about theory with Alastor: his connections with Lilith and why he reacted the way he did with Lucifer

The show has given us what many people think are hints to this with both of them gone for 7 years, the slight eye twitch in the pilot when he looked at liliths portrait, Alastor showing up right after Charlie finished voicmailing her mom also in the pilot, how he knew about Charlie's Daddy Issues before she seemed to have told anyone, the leash comment from Husker, and how Alastor reacted to Lucifer.

Now, all of these could be chalked up to Alastor having some sort of nice relations to Lilith, but some of these are a bit too far stretched to just be because he has interacted nicely with Lilith in my eyes.

I have seen many people talk about how Alastor must have gotten a bad impression of Lucifer because either him and Lilith are besties and talk crap about him after the split, or he listened to her complaints about him and got an impression off of that to dislike him this much right off the bat in episode 5.

But I don't think that's it. We see how badly Alastor reacted to the leash comment by Husker, which definitely isn't a good sign that he would even trust the words of whoever is holding that 'leash' against him. He seemed pushed over the edge, vulnerable enough to lash out, which is unlike himself. Whatever deal he made for his soul, was most likely under threat, a life or death choice.

This is why I think he despises (most likely) Lilith or whoever has that 'leash' on him. He lashes out, sensitive about the subject. After gaining so much power over the overlords, he suddenly gets toppled over again by someone of (most likely) higher status, being forced into an unwilling contract, now just another pawn that this demon(?) can use for their own desires, and he doesn't want to be that, he needs to make his own decisions. But he doesn't have any say in the matter.

So I think why he was mocking and teasing Lucifer so much was because of his connection with Lilith. Everyone knew how deeply in love they were (before they split) and how they are both the most powerful demons in hell. I think Alastor took a chance to use his pent up anger on Lucifer, trying to get him to hurt as much as he can because of what Lilith did, all the while Lucifer cant do anything too serious leat he upset Charlie. We know he is extremely petty, after all. (we can also see him (most likely) letting off some steam when devouring the loan sharks, with him getting unnecessarily big and just letting loose on a couple of low-tier goons)

I saw another person talk about how Alastor has no power over Lucifer/Lilith, no political power, and he can't beat them in games of wits either. But the one thing that he does have the upper hand on, is their daughter, and I completely agree with that.

Alastor has been there since the beginning, has helped Charlie out and talked with her more than her own Parents had in the last couple of years probably. He's seen how attached the parents are to Charlie, and decided to use that info in full force. Just look at the Lucifer/Alastor duet.

Now that we have my theories of the life and death contract with Lilith, let's go deep into what I think is Alastors character right now:

Alastor, a mixed child in the early 1900's most likely had it really rough. With being treated as less than from both sides for being to dark/light to the violence that he most likely had to endure during his childhood.

This could have been where his anger/obsessive resentment started to simmer up in sporadic bursts over the years and years of belittlement, abuse, and racism.

Like I said before, he was probably treated as less than human for his mixed skin, and Alastor most likely started to hate it. His skin, the people, everything seemed so wrong. Why should the people who beat him and his mother see them so vulnerable and weak. He decided he didn't like that anymore.

So the radio show started. I got this idea from when he said his face was only made for radio. Over the radio, no one ever knew what you looked like. Just your voice would be broadcasted, and no one would ever see who was really behind the microphone unless they stepped out. This seemed like a barrier to Alastor. Letting himself go with no worries about letting people see him vulnerable behind his broadcast. (Maybe that's why he hates TV and modern tech so much; people can see everything about you)

And when his radio show became a hit and people wanted pictures and news? What would protect him then? Simple: his unwavering smile. Reactions are what people want when they crush others. They want to see them wallow and beg cry from what they have done. But Alastor won't let anyone do that to him ever again.

He stands his guard, not letting any comments get to him, keeping charming smile and unwavering voice all throughout his career as a radio host. Keep the smile up, dont have your voice crack, never show weakness. If you stop, those that wait will sink their teeth in and never let go of you. That's what I think a part of his mentality is and is maybe a part of why his smile is stitched on in his demonic form.

Now onto why I think he's a serial killer/cannibal. Remember when I said he had lots of unchecked anger and obsessive resentment? All this now simmering even more while being pushed down by his persona?

This is when he'll break loose.

He usually goes for the ones with the least amount of defense: drunkards/ bar frequenters. I though of this when Mimzy said he used to always come to the bar she was performing at and how he could drink like a sailor.

He might've drank with people to let their guard down in addition to his non-threatening charm, and he probably built a tolerance to be at least a bit sober when the others are full out drunk so he can easily transport and kill them.

He probably enjoys killing/eating his victims because a) it shows how he has power now. How he isn't a helpless victim anymore and he's finally in control of his life or b) where he likes seeing privileged people beaten and bruised for once, the gratification of seeing someone taste their own medicine by his own hand, like revenge, even if that person hadn't been necessarily bad towards him.

His death ro me is the same that everyone else thinks, where he's burying some victims body and gets mistaken for a deer, then shot straight between the eyes. What I do think a bit differently is that he was chased by hunting dogs first, which alerted the hunter for him to get shot, which then led to his fear of dogs.

Then he was finally free to do anything. Hell had no limits, he didn't have to hide his carnage anymore. But now that smile he wore was engraved into his face, almost making it impossible to frown. But that didn't matter. Not right now. Alastor has so many emotions bubbling up that he just wanted blood to be on his hands.

And then he slaughtered the overlords and took their souls within weeks ( maybe months, idk how quick he killed them, but ima go with weeks), broadcasting it over the radio to show everyone what he's been up to.

Alastor had kept this routine for a couple of decades, occasionally getting a guest star on his broadcast by those who he seems fit.

But maybe he had become too cocky with this power high, as he had been attacked by holy weaponry right before the extermination he dealth with most of them, but a shot did make it into his shoulder, causing him to collapse in pain, unable to move. (a bit simple, but I imagine him getting badly hurt by angels/angelic weaponry to lethal levels and Lilith decides to save him)

He fought hard when the angels arrived, of course, but he could only go so far in being this injured. So when he was about to get stabbed in the chest by a holy spear, he was already tired and almost accepted his fate, before being pulled somewhere by Lilith herself.

This is where Lilith offers a beat and broken Alastor a one time deal: become her servant or she'll throw him back to the exterminators herself. And in a situation like this, there's usually only one option you can really take.

And so he was a ghost, leaving everything he had behind. His power, his respect, his freedom...

Now Alastor had become a pawn again. A tool useful for the right situations, and just a toy to be played with by Lilith. This is exactly what he didn't want from his human life. The humility, the disregard, treating him as some sort of street animal, no matter what he did.

And now she orders him to guard her daughters hotel, giving him back a piece of his power to protect the hotel.

Alastor had hated Charlie for how she misused her amazing power for something like redemption.

Alastor hated Lucifer, for having all that power, being the strongest demon in hell, yet taking it for granted while mocking him about his choices.

And Alastor hated Lilith, for trapping him again, and renewing his endless cycle of suffering.

So those are my thoughts about Alastor. I think you can tell he's my favorite. I just love his powers and lore.

#alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel theory #hazbin hotel thoughts #Im literally feral for this crazy deer guy #asexual #is Alastor Ace or AroAce in canon?#idek anymore #lucifer #lucifer hazbin hotel #lilith hazbin hotel

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awarmbowlofhomemadesoup · 11 months

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Unofficial Guide to Yuichi Usagi's Friends and Family

This is for the fanfic readers who want to read about Leoichi but aren't as familiar with Samurai Rabbit: The Usagi Chronicles. Note that I'm not a diehard fan but I did watch the two seasons so here are my thoughts.

This post is also spoiler-y to the show and have referneces to the Usagi Yojimbo comics.

Gen

Samurai Rabbit's Gen vs Usagi Yojimbo's Gen

Samurai Rabbit's Gen is based on Usagi Yojimbo's Gen. UY Gen is a self-proclaimed best friend of Miyamoto and constantly has him paying for the food and drinks every time they meet in their separate journeys.

UY Gen is a bounty hunter who knows how to wield a sword but refuses to follow the samurai code because of daddy issues (his dad chose to be faithful to the samurai code over providing a good life for his wife and kid).