#but making up for it by turning up the gay a few notches higher in other scenes

[archived-kin]

diluc ragnvindr and the secret spouse

note from kin: i was running around dawn winery looking for any chests i might have missed when this idea suddenly popped into my head. honestly i was tempted to do this similarly to the obey me solomon piece i did a while back and give diluc a husband but then i figured i should probably keep it gender neutral for both the girls and the gays

this is super short but i’ve had writer’s block for AGES so at least i got something out! i hope this isn’t so awful it burns your eyes out :,) i tried my best okay

fandom: genshin impact

character(s): gn!reader, diluc, aether, paimon

pairing(s): diluc/reader

warning(s): none

genre: fluff!!

You wake to the distant buzz of household conversation and a distinct absence of the usual presence beside you. Slightly disoriented, you sit up, rubbing at your eyes as the morning light peeking around the edge of your heavy velvet curtains casts the creases of the sheets around you into sharp definition.

A still-steaming mug sits on the bedside table, indicating that it hasn’t been long since your dear husband got up and made you your usual morning cup of tea. There’s a little red flower sitting on the saucer - a Windwheel Aster, which, if the flower language the two of you have developed over time still stands true, means that he’s still at home. He’d have left a Snapdragon if he was going out, a Calla Lily if he’d be gone for the day, or a Cecilia if he’d be away for an extended period of time. Of course, he tells you these things in person when he gets the chance, but, well - duty calls, and duty certainly doesn’t wait for a sensible wake-up time.

You throw your arms up and stretch, limbs trembling slightly as all the knots and cramps that have built up throughout the night finally straighten out. Windwheel Asters usually herald a good day in your household - though with Diluc, they can become Snapdragons and then Calla Lilies in the blink of an eye - and you’re looking forward to spending some time with your husband. It’s been a busy week for the both of you, what with an unexpected increase in the number of Abyss Order attacks cropping up around Mondstadt as well as several sudden unexplained deaths of hunters from Springfield, and you’d really like to have twenty four hours to just relax.

Diluc’s usual coat is still draped over the chair beside the desk, so, after a moment’s thought, you pull it on over your nightclothes. You have the weekend off, anyway - all your pending cases have been essentially solved and are ready to go - so you don’t see any need for donning your usual detective garb, though you do feel tempted to put on your trademark scarf to ward off the morning chill.

You take a few minutes to make the bed and open the curtains before you sit down in the armchair by the window to enjoy your tea. You can see several of the usual workers milling about between the grapevines, as well as what looks like a carrier balloon being docked just by the road. That’s new - deliveries to Dawn Winery usually come by carriage, but then again, the fact that the balloon also appears to be smoking extensively and is being accompanied by a very dishevelled-looking man who looks close to tears indicates that this probably isn’t a delivery,

On further inspection, you realise that your husband is standing nearby the smoking balloon, conversing with a young man with long golden hair tied back in a braid that you’re not particularly familiar with. You’re sure you recognise him from somewhere, though - in the same way that you might recognise the general composition of a painting you’ve seen in passing.

You don’t have time to continue contemplating the boy’s identity, though, because next thing you know, Diluc is leading him inside. You drain the remainder of your tea to the dregs with one gulp and pull yourself to your feet, resolving to go down to greet the two.

While you don’t bother with changing into something more formal, you do take a moment to wash your face and freshen up your breath with some of the mint-water Diluc keeps in the bathroom. You’re not fussed about keeping up a ‘respectable’ image, but you do at least want to be presentable.

Diluc is sitting with his back to you when you slip into the front room, still dressed in just your nightclothes and his overcoat, now with your feet tucked into a comfortable pair of slippers as well. The boy he’d invited in is the first to notice you, looking up from the map in his hands and face steeling slightly as he registers your presence.

An odd little fairy of some kind is bobbing about behind him, chewing on what looks like a large slice of cake. Her eyes widen to the size of saucers as she spots you, exclaiming so loudly that she sprays crumbs all over her unsuspecting golden-haired companion.

“Who’s this?!” she shrieks, alarmed in an almost comically exaggerated way. Her shock sends her even higher into the air, and she threatens to hit the ceiling head-on. “Y-you don’t look like a maid!”

You raise an eyebrow, mildly amused. “That would be because I’m not a maid.”

Diluc finally turns around, eyes lighting up slightly when he sees your choice of attire. A small smile curls at the corners of his lips as he moves to the side, leaving enough room on his seat for you to settle down beside him.

His young friend’s eyes dart between the two of you rapidly as Diluc continues droning on about something to do with transport balloons and the influx of monster activity in the area without a word as to your sudden appearance. He’s certainly quick-witted, you’ll give him that - he seems to deduce your relationship almost immediately.

Still, he asks about it in a polite and roundabout way - bless the boy. You can imagine that he’s a little afraid of making assumptions, especially about a man like Diluc.

“Is that your coat, Master Diluc?”

Diluc pauses in the middle of his explanation, eyebrows lifting slightly. You don’t know why he seems so surprised by the boy’s question - after all, the impression of the prideful Darknight Hero he has probably doesn’t incline him to think of him as a relationship-y sort of man.

��...yes.” He says finally. You don’t miss the way he steals a glance at you through the messy fringe of his red hair.

“Why so surprised?” You chime in, smiling at the boy as he straightens up slightly at the sound of your voice. “Surely you’ve deduced our relation already?”

He looks thoughtful for a moment. “Are you two… partners?”

You laugh. “Well, you could certainly put it like that.”

“You’re so clueless, Aether!” complains the boy’s fairy companion. “They’re obviously dating or something!”

Aether shoots her an unimpressed look. “That’s what I meant, Paimon.”

“Your name’s Aether, then?” You note. He nods. “Good name, Aether. You seem like a smart boy.”

“Hey!” The fairy glares at you, but it doesn’t really have much effect when she’s got the face of a baby lamb and crumbs still decorating her lower face to boot. “Don’t forget about Paimon!”

“Paimon’s a lovely name too,” You comply with a smile. “Very trustworthy.”

She looks appeased by the compliment, crossing her arms with a smug grin aimed at her taller companion. “See? Paimon’s trustworthy.”

“I heard them, Paimon,” sighs Aether, wearing the kind of expression that tells you he has to put up with this sort of thing a lot.

“What are you doing up so early?” Diluc asks you, and you start slightly at his sudden question. “Normally you sleep til noon on Sundays.”

You shrug and give his thigh a firm pat, taking great enjoyment in the way his ears flame up slightly at the gesture. “Guess I just missed your lovely face.”

The red of his ears darkens. “...you’re ridiculous.”

“You’re cute,” you counter with a smile, leaning forward to kiss the tip of his nose. He chuckles in spite of himself, the corners of his eyes crinkling in a smile that he rarely lets anyone but you see.

“You’re both gross,” Paimon decides with a pout, and the two of you suddenly remember the presence of the two other people in the room. Aether is pointedly staring at a painting on the wall, but at Paimon’s words, he hurriedly turns back.

“No, no, it’s fine,” You laugh, waving off Aether’s apologies for his fairy friend’s comment. “The maids often say the same thing.”

“The maids wouldn’t say such things if you didn’t insist on being so affectionate everywhere,” Diluc comments, though the smile still tugging at his lips tells you that he definitely doesn’t consider that a bad thing. “If you don’t want them to talk, perhaps you should take it down a notch or two.”

“Who said I didn’t want them to talk?” You counter, inching closer to him again. You'll refrain from kissing him right in front of Aether and Paimon, but that doesn’t mean you can’t tease him a little. “Besides, you’re one to talk. You’re the one always hanging off my shoulders whenever you get the chance.”

Diluc, however, doesn’t seem to have the same qualms as you about abstaining from affection in front of guests. His smile widening almost playfully, he gently lifts a hand to your chin. “Oh? Are you complaining?”

“Who said that?” is your response, and you lean in and kiss him.

It isn’t until the two of you pull away that you realise that Paimon has started making gagging noises as Aether frantically tries to shush her, all the while determinedly refusing to look in your direction. You almost feel bad for the kid - he clearly isn’t the best with affectionate couples.

“Sorry, sorry,” You say airily, moving away from Diluc, though you keep a hand resting on his knee.

“Is this what all married couples are like?” Paimon says, still wrinkling her nose in disgust. “If so, Paimon doesn’t want to get married, ever!”

Aether, still avoiding direct eye contact with both you and your husband, mutters an exasperated, “Bold of you to assume anyone would want to marry you.”

She immediately kicks him in the head, nearly knocking the poor guy right off the sofa. “Paimon heard that!”

“What a rowdy pair,” You comment cheerfully as Aether retaliates by flicking Paimon hard in the head, sending her spiralling halfway across the room with an indignant yelp. “You really do make strange friends, Diluc.”

He makes an odd chuffing sound in response to your words. “They aren’t any stranger than you.”

You shake your head. “You still married this strange detective, didn’t you?”

“I suppose I did,” He smiles softly again, setting his right hand over the one you have on his knee. “I wonder if I made the right decision?”

You give his knee a reproachful pinch and he gives short, sharp laugh in response - something that you don’t hear nearly enough from him. “Of course you did!”

You move to jab him in the sides, knowing exactly where all of his sensitive spots are, but he stops you quickly, seizing both your hands in his and firmly refusing to let go. You struggle for about a second before giving up and slumping against him with a dramatic huff.

“You’re too strong,” You complain, though your affectionate nuzzle into the side of his neck directly contradicts your pseudo-annoyed words. “I don’t like it.”

Diluc chuckles, knowing full well that you love the fact that he can lift entire tables without breaking a sweat. “Whatever you say, darling.”

The look that you give him as you raise your head nearly knocks all of the breath out of him. The adoring grin on your face doesn’t relent as you lift a hand and brush his cheek, your touch feather-light and sending shivers down his spine.

He finds himself leaning in again, overwhelmed by your presence. You smile knowingly and reach up to meet him - only to be interrupted with a start.

Paimon complains, half-disgusted and half-resigned, “They’re doing it again!”

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About the First Season of--

Salutations random people on the internet who most likely won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

When I first saw the sneak peek of--

...I...didn't...think it would be anything all that special. I love animation, and I love superheroes, so it would go without saying that I would love an animated series about superheroes. But the animation looked a little too stiff for my liking, and aside from featuring J.K. Simmons, there wasn't anything grabbing me when it comes to this show.

Then I heard some s**t goes down at the end of episode one. So, letting my curiosity get the better of me, I binged the entire series in a day to see what the fuss was about. And, um...Yeah. Holy s**t.

This is a series that will very much make you uncomfortable in all the right ways. However, it is a gigantic gorefest at times, so if you get queasy after a single drop of blood, DON'T WATCH THIS SHOW! Trust me, you will not be prepared for what this series has to offer.

At the same time, I highly recommend you watch this series before reading this review. I'm going to spoil major plot points and characters so I can appropriately discuss what I think about the season, so trust me when I say you should click away if you haven't watched it yet. It's one of those series that are better to go in as blind as possible. You can call it a cheap way to appeal to shock value, but I call it one of the best reasons why--

...Is a contender for best-animated series of the decade--That bit with the title card isn't going away anytime soon, is it?

WHAT I LIKE

The Guardians of the Globe vs. The Mauler Twins: This is the best possible way for the series to begin. The first fight scene is bright, colorful, and kinda fun. Thus setting the ultimate expectation subversion in making audiences think that will be the series staple. However, just because it has the energy of a harmless superhero fight, there is a sense of intensity as the Guardians give their all in saving others. Like that moment with Darkwing (Not the duck) as he rescues that woman without hesitation, despite knowing he might die because of it. Or Green Ghost, who just barely rescues all those civilians from that falling debris. It shows that you don't need intense scenes of violence to make a fight scene thrilling to watch.

Diversity Wins: I don't know how diverse the comics are compared to the show, but I'm impressed with how inclusive this series is. So many members of the main cast are people of color, with the main lead being half-Korean. And it's not just different races that the series shines a light on, as we also get the rare, but very much welcomed, animated male gay character. Who's thankfully isn't cliched in ten ways to Sunday...for the most part. It really does seem like writers are starting to grow up and that it's better to be as inclusive as possible instead of pretending certain people don't exist for the sake of "convenience." It might not solve oppression in general, but it certainly makes certain people feel better, even if it is briefly.

Mark Grayson: Mark is a pretty solid super-protagonist if you ask me. Sure, at first, he comes across as whiney...and even more so in later episodes, but he's really an endearing character at times. Mark nails the role of the relatable everyman that's also inspirational with his determination since he never gives up until beaten to the inch of his life. Seriously, while he might not entirely be--

...I guess that bit with the title card really isn't going away.

Anyways, while he might not entirely be invulnerable in the literal sense, he is very much so in the figurative sense. Mark, in so many ways, refuses to call quits once he finally gets the hang of being a superhero, which is what makes him so inspirational. Plus, it's funny seeing how much of a rookie he can be to the gig at times. Mark is far from a perfect lead but is still charming to a fault, and it's nice seeing him grow more heroic each episode. I hope to see him develop more in future seasons, as he has the potential to be ranked higher up as one of my favorite superheroes (it's hard to compete with Spider-Man and Batman, but he'll make me consider it).

Debbie Grayson: This is almost what I expect a mother and wife of superheroes would be. 

Your son is constantly crash landing in your yard? Tell him to knock it off because he's past his curfew. 

Your husband disappeared into another dimension to fight off invaders? Shrug it off and expect that he'll be late for dinner.

It's a ton of fun to watch, and I adore how supportive she is of Mark, despite how much danger he could be in as a superhero. But, what really endears me with Debbie is her complicated feelings with Omni-Man. There's not a doubt in my mind that she loved him with her whole heart, but she also isn't an idiot. She is quick to pick up how unheroic her husband can be at times, often scolding him for it when necessary. And when she finally starts investigating if he really did kill the Guardians, I love that she instantly comes up with every single plausible excuse she can, despite knowing the truth. Because she believes that she knows who Omni-Man is and refuses any possibility that he might be a supervillain. So when she finds out that there really is no other explanation and hearing him call her a pet (big ouch when that happened), you wanna know what she does? She cries. Not because the man she loved is gone forever, but because the idea of him is. And it's that level of emotional devastation that comes from those complicated emotions that make me think Debbie Grayson is the most complex and endearing character on the show. And I. Will. Stand by that.

Seeing the Guardians of the Globe on their down time: Wow, what a cute collection of scenes that are charming as much as they are heartwarming! A set of scenes that show how human these characters are with their close relationships with friends and family! I sure hope it's not followed up with a brutal emotional gut-punch of a scene that will be even more devastating after thinking back on these! Especially with that bit with Martian Man and the little girl, cause OOO-WEE, would THAT tear me up inside!

Omni Man destroying the Guardians of the Globe:...I'd follow through on my joke here, but holy s**t.

That's really the best way I can describe all of this. It is a brutal, I repeat, BRUTAL scene that will stick with you hours after watching it. Not only that, but it's one of the few instances when I was damn near speechless because I couldn't think of anything else to say other than, "Holy s**t." The only time another superhero property did that was Avengers: Infinity War, except with that, the only difference is that the characters come back. Here, except for The Immortal, the Guardians stay dead! There's no magic amulet or alternate versions from another dimension. No, they die and never come back. Thus setting up how serious the show can be. Because if these superheroes can stay dead, then so can others.

Plus, what makes it more impactful is how throughout the entire fight, there was a glimpse of hope that the Guardians can beat Omni-Man. I heard he got nerfed for the sake of drama, and I approve of that decision. Because if he was really--

...If he was really unbeatable, then the fight doesn't have weight to it. There wouldn't be a point in rooting for these characters to win when we already know they're going to lose. But, by showing there's a chance that they could win, it becomes all the more intense watching the fight and even more tragic seeing them lose. It is a masterpiece of a battle that proves once and for all: Batman is right. You need contingency plans.

Omni Man: J. Jonah Jameson has become the one thing he hates the most: A masked MENACE...Ok, I know Omni-Man doesn't wear a mask, so the joke doesn't work as well as it could. But it was served to me on a silver platter, damn it! I had to take it!

In all seriousness, though, Omni-Man might give Homelander a run for his money on best evil Superman. Because while Homelander might be terrifying in his own right with his style of evil, Omni-Man takes it a step up a notch with the mystery behind WHY he killed the Guardians of the Globe. We know right away that there's something off with him, but up until that point, we see multiple instances of Omni-Man doing the right thing rather than the wrong. Sure, he might come off as cold when interacting with people, but so does Batman and other great superheroes in comics. That doesn't mean he's evil. So when he does do something so incredibly heinous, we're left with this mystery as to why. Because there has to be a reason for it all, right? Like, maybe mind control or his family was threatened. Something and anything that means he was forced into killing the noblest of people. So when it turns out that his actions were intentional, it is already pretty devastating. But when we find out why he does these things, it paints how truly evil Omni-Man is, given how little respect he has for human life.

Plus, as terrifying as Homelander is, Omni-Man is ten times more of an engaging villain. With Homelander, what you see is what you get: A narcissist with a god complex. For Omni-Man, it's more or less the same thing, but it's something fed to him because of the conditioning from his planet. There is a tiny, molecule-sized part of him that genuinely cares about others. It doesn't change what he does, nor does it mean he deserves forgiveness (far from it), but it hints that maybe he's not evil because of his own ego. It's because of how he's trained to be. And judging by his pained expressions from Mark's words and the single tear he sheds when leaving everything behind, there's a chance that he might be willing to fight back that mentality.

Or he will stay evil, and that he'll return to do worse things in the future. I don't know. I haven't read the comics. But I feel like I don't need to read anything to tell you all that Omni-Man is up there as one of the most intriguing comic book villains of all time, and I can't wait to see what happens with him next.

This show is f**king Violent: I mean, I refer you back to that scene where Omni-Man destroys the Guardians of the Globe. But, unlike other shows that use violence to force that mature rating, I feel as though In--

...Title card. You were cute the first time, but now your novelty has quickly worn thin.

Anyways, I feel as though this show...uses gore more appropriately. More often than not, death and carnage get treated as a literal joke in adult cartoons because people are sick bastards, I guess. But with...the current series I'm talking about, it all has an impact. No one dies or gets mangled for the sake of shock value or for a laugh. Instead, every instance of this type of violence is to either make a point, set the tone, or prove just how dangerous a specific character is. It makes...the series more mature than most adult cartoons you'll find because it actually brings a worthy discussion for its violence rather than milking it to give the illusion of maturity. And I gotta respect the writers for doing that.

Cecil: This man is basically Nick Fury if he was overpowered but in a good way. There is just something about a man who knows superheroes are needed in the world but also trusts a "hero" like Omni-Man as far as he can throw him. Not only does Cecil have contingency plans for his contingency plans, but the guy also knows to send the right heroes out for the exact missions that require them. Plus, a man is an instant badass when he's stone-faced about a demon saying he'll go somewhere worse than hell and is calm when being face-to-face with an angry Omni-Man.

I don't make the rules. I just abide by them.

The title card gets bloodier with each episode: This is just a really cool gimmick. It proves how intense this show can really be and how the stakes get higher and higher with each installment. Also, I like to think the amount of blood that splashes over the title card reflects how brutal the episode will be, especially with episode eight, 'cause holy hell.

The plot structure: The way the story works is very similar to how a comic book series handles its overarching narrative. Even though the writers begin a new arc that continues for a handful of issues, the overall main plot still develops in the background of the current adventure the hero goes through. That's basically how--

>Intense inhale<

>Calm exhale<

That's basically how THIS SHOW operates. Each episode can be seen as its own story that's given a ton of room to develop with its forty-five-minute runtime (which blew my f**king mind when I started binging it). Despite that, there's still a great sense of continuity. Everything involving Omni-Man and the mystery behind his murder of the Guardians gets fleshed out throughout the season, even when it takes the background of Mark's escapades. It really does feel like sitting down and taking the time to read an entire volume of comics, which I like to believe is the intention. After all, what's the point of making a series about superheroes if you don't make it feel like a comic book at least once?

Dark Blood: I desire a series based on this character alone. I know it's probably just Hellboy, but I want it. 

The idea of a demon solving murder crimes to work off his debt in Hell is too much of a remarkable concept to strictly be a c-plot in one series. Give Dark Blood a spin-off, damn it!

The Realistic Portrayal of a Superhero world: Unlike certain superhero properties--*cough* DC *cough*--it's--

>Huff<

>Puff<

>HUFF<

>PUFF<

>HUFF<

It's. This. F**KING. SHOW! That really does an excellent job at portraying how much it would suck to live in a world of superheroes. Sure, you got the cool battles and awe-inspiring heroes with incredible powers, but do you know what else you get? Hundreds upon thousands of people dying from the very threats those heroes fight against. Not to mention all the realistic physics that come from people like Mark trying to save others. Just look at how mangled that old woman looked when he attempted to help her. It, uh...It sure did not look great. Don't get me wrong, I love superheroes and the worlds they live in. But when watching a show like...this one, it really makes me appreciate how I don't live in those worlds with them.

It’s Still Funny: This is something I appreciate the most. When most superhero shows go for the realistic approach, they go with the doom and gloom route, making everything so melodramatic about how serious the world is. But here's the thing: Superheroes are f**king stupid.

Don't tell me they're not because they are. Superheroes have cornball hero names, bright costumes, and logos on their foreheads, chests, belts, and what-have-you. Taking a superhero too seriously is the worst mistake you could make, which is why I love the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Say what you want about Marvel having "too many jokes," but at least they know it's for the best to laugh at themselves and embrace the weirdness. It's something similar with...you know what. Because while the series tells a serious and realistic story about superheroes, it's still a story about superheroes. So it tells some jokes and some pretty funny ones at that. Because while it's essential to include some drama in a story such as the one in...you know what, it's just as important to never forget to have some fun.

“Earth is not yours to conquer.”: Such a great line that gains an even greater meaning once we fully know who Omni-Man is. The main creditor for how effective it is goes to J.K. Simmons for making the line sound explicit yet implicit at the same time.

Allen the Alien: ...It is an absolute crime that this character only has about six minutes of screentime. Allen is such a bro, partially because of Seth Rogan's performance, that I would honestly be upset if he doesn't show up more often in later seasons. Seriously, bring him back for more.

The Mauler Twins: Thankfully, these characters get as much attention as they deserve. The banter between the Mauler Twins is always entertaining, often being the comedic highlights at times. On top of being funny, they also work as efficient villains who can come across as threatening at times.

But what I love most of all about these two is the explanation behind the cloning process. The reasoning of why neither character remembers which one is the cone is a brilliant idea that I'm surprised no one else did in the past (to my knowledge). It also provides some excellent fruit for thought in wondering if it really is better to live your life not knowing if you're a clone or not. The whole thing is great to watch, and it makes me really glad for their inclusion...too bad they had to be forced into a story that makes a character look like a reckless superhero and an inconsiderate jackass to his friend. Seriously, what was up with that?

“That Actually Hurt”: This just might be my favorite episode of the first season. Machine Head is both equally hilarious and devious, Titan might just be my favorite character due to how intriguing his allegiances and motivations are, that final fight was the perfect amount of brutal, and we get the biggest hint of the man Omni-Man really is. Having him simply watching Mark instead of flying in to help him actually shocked me the first time seeing it. It's not until we learn what a Viltrumite really is that it becomes clear as to why. He doesn't care about saving his son but instead seeing Mark reach the same potential Omni-Man did during that smash fest the planet went through to reach perfection. And something tells me he felt more disappointment than sadness after seeing his son get nearly killed by Tony the Tiger (I know he has an actual name...but this is funnier to me). It's such a solid moment with great implications that just so happens to exist in an even greater episode.

Eve deciding to just help people for the heck of it: I actually love this idea more for the potential it has rather than what actually happens so far. Because the main reason why heroes don't fly around and solve every little minute problem people have is that they need to learn how to act without help. If you suddenly make food appear out of thin air or stopping forest fires, you're doing good, but there's also potential harm that comes from it. I think back to that episode of The Powerpuff Girls, where the townspeople are so idiotic and complacent with having their heroes solve every problem that they really can't think or act for themselves. A similar thing can happen with Eve if she's not careful. Even worse, if she keeps trying to end famine for farmers, because she might get into a Supergirl situation with people building a cult around her. And, you know, that's not going to be fun.

But again, that's just the potential that this presents. We--Or the people who haven't read the comics--don't know if Eve will actually face this issue. Regardless, we still get some solid moments that proves just how much Eve is a true hero in this series as she has no other motive to help people other than she just wants to. And I actually think that's pretty cool.

The Immortal’s rematch: I gotta hand it to the guy. Not a second after being brought back to life, and The Immortal's already flying off to get revenge on the bastard who killed his closest friends in the world. Or, globe, I guess.

I respect that, to be honest.

(As a bonus, The Immortal causing Omni-Man's eyes to become bloodshot adds to how evil he'll be in the last episode)

Mark trying to snap his dad out of mind-control: Oh, I felt that.

I'm pretty sure we all felt that.

Ow...Big ow.

The Train Scene: ...This is the most horrific thing I have seen in entertainment. Seriously, while Omni-Man annihilating the Guardians left me speechless, this is another level. Because him using Mark's body to kill a train full of people ramming into them, leaving Mark all the more helpless to stop it, makes a scene that is so...so hard for me to describe how effectively f**ked up it is. It's one of those moments where just by seeing it, you know why it's awful in all the right ways. And I will never forget the look of shock and horror on my face when it reflected onto my laptop's screen after the scene briefly cut to black soon after the carnage. Because if that doesn't explain how unmerciful this moment is, I don't know what will.

Saving Mark after the fight: I really love this because as it flashes between still images of people carrying Mark away after his brutal fight with Omni-Man, it really feels like you're reading a comic from panel to panel. It’s pretty neat. I won’t lie.

WHAT I DISLIKE

The Animation isn’t that great: Now, in terms of action, the animation is fantastic. You feel the impact of each attack, there are some creative uses of powers, and the gore is better implemented because it's all animated. As for everything else...yeah, it kinda sucks. Movements are a little stiff at times, the CGI backgrounds could use a bit more polish, and don't get me started on the CGI crowds of people. I understand the shortcuts that need to be taken to make everything else more effective, but man, this series needed a little more time in the oven before being shown to everyone. It's never too bad, but it can be pretty distracting at times.

Amber: F**k Amber. Just f**k her. Everything people tell you that is wrong with her is one-hundred percent on point. She is easily one of the worst love interests, and to me, it has everything to do with the fact that she knows Mark is--

...That she knows Mark is--

...

...

...ThatsheknowsMarkisInvinci--

--BECAUSE IT INVALIDATES ANY POINT SHE HAS, GOSH DANGIT! I don't give a single S**T if she's upset that he's late all the time! If Amber was always unaware of it, then I would understand. But having her know means that she thinks her issues are more important than Mark, oh, I don't know, SAVING THE PLANET! I mean, the girl helps feed the homeless! You would think she would understand.

But fine. Maybe Amber's just upset that Mark's lying to her. Sure. That's understandable...BUT WHAT THE F**K IS UP WITH HER BLOWING UP IN HIS FACE FOR NOT HELPING ANYBODY AT THE COLLEGE WHEN SHE KNOWS HE'S HELPING EVERYBODY!? Even if it's her giving Mark one last chance to tell her the truth (which is a mile of a stretch, and you know it), did she really expect him to reveal his secret with tons of people watching? That is a crazy expectation that no one should live up to!

Amber is quite possibly the worst thing about this show. She was fine at first, and her chemistry with Mark was on point, but MAN, did she get worse later on.

And if I see one mother f**ker calling me a racist because I don't like this character who just so happens to be black...I'm going to be upset, not gonna lie. Because that is a cheap shot to dismiss any criticism, especially since her race has NOTHING to do with why people hate her...Or, at least, most people.

Edit (5/27/2021): Disregard the above. The long and short is that I don’t like Amber. She just doesn’t sit right with me for the reasons that her anger towards Mark just never felt entertaining to me in comparision to everything else. But saying her thoughts and arguements are invalid is not cool, and I’m sorry to both any readers who are black or especially female who would be upset by this.

Rex-splode: I understand the point behind Rex. He's a character who we're supposed to hate, so it becomes so much more satisfying seeing others s**t on him. But those characters are hard to get right if you’re not careful. Make them too irritating, then any suffering they go through will seem too little. Make them not annoying enough, and their punishments can be too harsh. Rex fits into the "too irritating" category. It's satisfying to see Monster Girl wreck his s**t after he started commenting how ineffective she might be, but with what he pulled with Dupli-Kate, I feel as though he might deserve worse. Although I will admit Rex gets slightly better in later episodes, showing at least a smidgen of character development. But I don't think it's enough to make his a**holeness worth it. Still, I hope he at least becomes above decent in the next few seasons, which is way more than what I can say for Amber.

(Seriously, writers, if she just disappears without an ounce of an explanation in the season premiere, I won't question it. You have my word.)

Edit: I no longer agree with what I crossed out, but I won’t delete it either. I want people to know the mistake I made so I can prove that I changed in the future.

Robot cloning himself to be with Monster Girl: ...Nope! 

Nope!

Changed my mind.

I am NOT touching that.

I will touch a lot of things, but I will not touch--That came out wrong.

Please forget you read anything.

Thank you, and goodnight.

Let’s move on

Transitioning to the title card: Here it is! The nitpickiest of all nitpicks! But, seeing how it happens in every episode, meaning that the writers have no choice but to commit to it, means it's one of those things that viewers are forced to get used to. And boy, is the transition to the title card hard to get used to! Oh, you thought it was annoying how it kept happening in this review? Well...fair enough. But trust me when I say it's much more aggravating in the show.

The funny thing is, I had no problem the first time it happened. It was a cute way to introduce the character as well as the title of the series. But having that be the basis for transitioning to the title card every time was a gimmick that got old real quick. Especially since every time that a character says the word--

--it always feels forced. What's even more annoying is that sometimes it interrupts characters as they're saying invin--

LIKE! F**KING! THAT! Because interrupting someone before they say something is one thing, but doing so as they're saying it shows a sense of bad timing. Not even that, because this is something that I feel like could have been the easiest to change in the series by having someone go, "Hey, maybe we should edit out this single second."

It's laziness that doesn't happen often, but it still grinds my gears a bit. Plus, is there really no other smoother transition the writers could come up with? Did they really believe this is the best way to do it?

Think, writers! THINK!

It's fine to have a gimmick, but this is one that really shouldn't have any follow-through on.

-------------

That's about all the issues I have with the show. It's far from perfect, but still, an A- is pretty impressive work. The stuff that this series does right not only outnumbers the mistakes but also heavily outweighs them. Besides, no show in the history of creativity has ever been perfect in its first season. There are always dents that need to get buffed out and improve upon for the subsequent seasons to come. Only then can a series truly be Invincible from all criticism.

...

...Oh, sure. 

SURE!

NOW it lets me say it!

GOSH, DANGIT, I HATE THAT TITLE CARD!

[kendallstewy]

A bit late on posting this, sorry my dear, but I was tagged by @woozapooza to list nine comfort films! Only the first two are in order 😊

1. Maurice (1987) - as a tiny queer 14 year old who had no friends - and I mean that quite literally, NONE - this movie was my best friend. I watched it every Sunday to help give me courage for a new week of loneliness. It’s my favorite gay film of all time. I’ve had the god tier pleasure of interacting with Rupert Graves a few times and I have part of a tweet he sent me (“have faith in yourself Xx”) tattooed on my wrist. Sixteen years later, watching this movie still feels like coming home. Literally my warm blanket movie. My heart bursts and I feel reborn. Is there a love that is literally all-consuming? Yeah, I have it for this film.

2. Velvet Goldmine (1998) - here’s another film that feels like coming home when I watch it. I first saw it when I was 17 and it helped me come out as bi to my mom. It got me into glam rock, which was another formative queer thing that helped keep me sane in my loneliness. Watching it obsessively and listening to the soundtrack on repeat were lifesavers. I felt so free. I can’t overstate the impact it had on me. I wore glitter nail polish just to remind myself of it. I was able to interact with the producer once and she kindly retweeted my thanks to her for helping make the film.

3. Les Amants (The Lovers) (1958) - this is my favorite French film, bar none. There is a very slow burn up to a part that is one of the most romantic bits of any film I have EVER seen. Seriously it is drenched in romance and I just bask in it. It feels like it was tailor made for me to feel like I’ve ascended to a higher plane where true love exists. I love watching it alone in the dark, the atmosphere it creates is magical. So soothing, just heavenly.

4. Whisper of the Heart (1995) - this is my favorite non-Miyazaki-directed Studio Ghibli film and definitely in my top 3 Ghibli films. I watched it again this week and it was so calming. It’s one of the best slice-of-life films ever and I adore the characters, especially the heroine. She is very much like me as a young teen and actually still really relatable to me at (almost) 30. It is so uplifting and I feel so at peace living in her world for two hours. The ending is pure joy.

5. God’s Own Country (2017) - another top notch gay film that is really spiritually nourishing. There’s a scene that’s not even a sex scene, it’s just kissing while shirtless, and it’s breathtaking, I think about it at random moments during the day. It’s one of the most tender things ever. In general I adore the two men and the journey Josh O’Connor’s character goes on in his self-growth, it’s really moving. I did love him in The Crown but to me he’ll always be Johnny. I could legit watch this every day.

6. The Lure (2015) - I went through a long period of watching this at one AM every night for weeks. Despite the tragic elements, I feel so happy when I watch the mermaid night club singers perform and then eat men’s hearts. The whole movie is like a patchwork quilt of styles and emotions but it never feels uneven and I love slipping into that crazy world and going along for the ride. It feels so natural to settle into the nuttiness. Also I have a mega crush on one of the lead actresses, so there’s that.

7. The Happy Prince (2018) - again despite the tragic elements, this is another one that I watched every one AM for weeks in order to fight loneliness and find solace in the presence of Oscar Wilde. I saw this in the theater and it was a transcendent experience. It’s visually gorgeous and written in a way that’s so stimulating to my mind without taxing me. I have loved Rupert Everett since I saw Another Country (1984) when I was about 15 and so seeing him give this most magisterial of performances is thrilling. It’s like swimming in beauty.

8. Rocketman (2019) - I saw this five times in the theater. Literally. Five. And I cried. I’m not even a particular Elton John fan although I do love all the songs they used, but the narrative of trying to find self-love without consistently sabotaging yourself is so relatable to me that I feel so connected to it. And of course the acting and music and dancing and costumes are so much fun. I always watch it in front of our biggish screen tv with the volume turned up high so I can pretend I’m in the theater. It’s both exciting and healing which is a potent combo.

9. My Own Private Idaho (1991) - god this is such a sad movie tbh but I feel like River Phoenix’s character is my best friend and I love spending time with him. He’s my favorite actor of all time and he is god tier levels of majestic pathos and gravitas in this. One of the best performances I have ever seen. Ever. I feel so close to his character who wants something so badly and is willing to literally take to the road to find it. It paradoxically shatters and heals me at the same time. Keanu Reeves is fun in it too and he and River are one of my favorite screen duos ever. I watch this every Halloween in memoriam of River.

Thanks Wooza ❤️ I tag literally all my followers. ☺️

[shinobisakura]

A Flowers and Shuriken.

PROMPTS CURTESY OF @shisakuweek FOR ShiSakuWeek2020 

Friday 21st August :

Soul mark AU

 Where you bare a soul mark that corresponds with your soulmate. You can only see your own soul mark, and it flashes when you’re going to meet them soon. 

Chapter 1 sets the scene. Chapter 2 is the real interaction. Might actual make a few more chapters to this, rework it and then post on AO3

 Chapter 1

Early mornings were not good for Sakura. Ever. Early mornings usually meant skipping breakfast, meeting up with Team 7, an all-out brawl with Team 7, Kakashi-sensei finally showing up several hours after he said to meet up and followed up with some incident that usually dragged her on shift at the Hospital.

Usually.

Toady was not a usual day. I was an incredibly unusual day.

“I’m sorry what?” Sakura spluttered staring at her master.

Sakura along with Yamato, Shikamaru and Hinata were all stood in the Hokage’s office for a last minute mission. None of them knew what it was about, and so far all they’d gotten out of the Hokage was that it was an urgent and immediate mission. So collect your shinobi packs and go. This was the type of mission urgency that only ANBU were sent on- with the exception of the Kazekage retrieval mission a few months ago.

“You four are going to the capital for a very important mission. Because its in the capital, I need the best I can get, and right now that’s you lot.”

“Its not Tora again is it? That mission is such a drag.”

Tora. That damned cat! If Tsunade was sending her on another Tora mission she’d just blow her top. Thirty times as a genin was enough thank you very much.

Tsunade however didn’t seem affected by the comment, and remained as stern as she had began the mission briefing.

“No it is not Tora.”

Silence. Clearly despite the urgency of the mission, Lady-Tsunade was trying to think of the best way to explain the mission without exposing anything critical. Hinata looked around for a moment and then chose to speak up.

“Ts-Tsunade-sama, you said you need the best, but, wouldn’t Na-naruto-kun or Saskue-san or Shino be more suited?”

“No this isn’t suited for them. Naruto and Saskue are likely to burn down the capital in a brawl, Shino is too quiet for this mission, and honestly from what I’ve heard, the Daimyo hates bugs. That would go down just as well as sending you with both of the team 7 idiots. I don’t want Kakashi reading porn in the palace and I really, really don’t want to hear that Genma slept with another Daimyo’s daughter or wife. I just about negotiated for his life in the last case.”

That… was sadly very true. Genma and Raidou had been sent to guard Shizune whilst her fellow medic-nin healed Madam Shijimi. Apparently Genma had caught the eye of the Madam and Daimyo’s daughter, who instantly wanted to add a shinobi shaped notch in her bedpost. That had gone so well for him that it had taken the elders, Lady Tsunade and an offer of engagement for his daughter from the Water Daimyo (curtesy of Naruto begging Kiri’s jinchuriki to help arrange it) for the Fire Daimyo to forget he ever wanted Genma’s head on a pike.

Either way, from Tsunade’s explanation she wasn’t necessarily after the best shinobi but rather the most capable of them. At least the most discreet. Shikamaru seemed to see it that way too.

“So not exactly the best, just the least likely to cause trouble. Damn what a drag.”

“I need you four to meet up with the Daimyo’s guard and pass on this scroll to the guard head. You will return accompanied by said head guard, with the exception of you Yamato, who will be taking over the head guards position until otherwise relieved.”

“Why us? This is going to be such a pain.” Shikamaru compained for the third time that morning.

“Because the four of you are the most qualified for this job. The three of you are all chunin or higher.” Tsunade rubbed the bridge of her nose. “In addition to this, Sakura you have your own mission.”

“Me?”

“Yes. It’s this particular mission that is why you will accompany this team. Once there you will be team leader, as your mission takes over.”

“What? But surely the Head-guard would take over being the more experienced jonin?”

“No. This is your personal mission scroll Sakura. It is only for your eyes and you are not to open it until you reach the guard. Once you’ve read it, you will understand why it is that the team will be under your command. Is that Understood?”

“Understood.” Sakura nodded and then hesitated, her sudden departure from the village might cause more problems than Tsunade would expect.. “Tsunade-hime, will you inform Team-7?”

“I’ll make sure Naruto and Saskue know and don’t burn down the village looking for you.” Tsunade nodded. “Go home, collect your essential and then depart from the sothern gates once you’re all there.”

The team stood to attention and then with that the team departed.

 Within only twenty minutes, the newly formed Captial-Team had geared up, departed the village and were well on their way to the heart of the Fire Country.

“Who is the Daimyo’s head guard anyway?” Shikamaru asked.

“I thought you’d already know?” Yamato blinked back in surprise.

“I know he’s Konoha shinobi, but I didn’t bother to know exactly who. The Daimyo goes through them that quickly.”

That was certainly true. When Sakura had been in the academy it was a well known fact that the Daimyo was sending back the Head-guard every few months. None meeting his personal standard, and some not wanting to deal with the Daimyo’s family any longer.

“It’s Shisui Uchiha. Shisui-san has been the Daimyo’s head-guard the last three years.”

Uchiha? Sakura thought. Saskue had mentioned he had a cousin on a long term mission with the Daimyo, but she hadn’t realised it was Itachi’s Shisui.

“Jeeze, that long? What a drag. What’d he do, beg the Hokage to give him relief or something?”

“I don’t know.” Yamato shrugged.

“It’s- it’s probably because Shisui is the most qualified genjustsu shinobi, aside from Itachi-san. There might be a new mission he’s needed for.”

Sakura snorts at that.

“That’s what Sasuke will have you think. I have it from good authority that Shisui is better than Itachi.”

“And who’s that?” Shikarmau scoffed.

“Itachi himself.” She snorted.

That was true. Itachi had once told her over dango that he and his cousin often spared, but Shisui was always one step ahead. Apparently Itachi said that even Shisui’s sharingan was stronger than his, which was a feat in itself as usually it was only main branch Uchiha who’s sharringan had that much potential.

Hinata giggled at that and Shikamaru groans.

“I do believe that is a good authority.” Hinata quipped.

The team lulled into a silence for a couple more miles before Shikamaru spoke up again.

“So Ino said your soulmark’s been flashing.”

Ah Sakura thought. Yes that was true. The last couple of days the soulmark on the inner of her elbow had began to flash bright every so often. She’d only noticed it the morning two days past, having taken of her guards to realise the mark was flashing. She couldn’t tell if she was excited, happy or terrified at the prospect of meeting her soulmate. The mark itself already telling her she’d have feeling for whoever it was.

“Yeah. So?”

“Well doesn’t that usually mean that your about to meet your soulmate?”

“I don’t know Shikamaru, did that happen when you and Temari met?”

“Ugh. You and Ino are going to kill me with your questions. But if you must know yes. What about you Hinata? Did your soulmark flash when you met Naruto?”

“N-no. I believe that the Soulmark only flashes if you and your soulmate are going to have a romantic meeting.”

“But it has flashed for you and Naruto?” Sakura raised her eyebrows.

“Y-yes. Naruto’s soulmark flashed just before he asked me to dinner in Suna.”

That was surprising, seeing as Hinata had been making moon-eyes at Naruto since pre-academy. But then again, Naruto had had a crush on her until two years ago when Sakura explained soul marks to him. Apparently no one had bothered to teach Naruto in the orphanage and since Saskue had met his own soulmate- and it was Uzumaki to everyone’s amusement, Naruto had been confused as to why Saskue was interested in talking to this brash girl since he hadn’t even bothered looking at Sakura.

It had been funny to see Naruto realise that the mark on his hand which no one else had seemed to ever notice, was in fact his own soul mark- A Lion. Then barely a week after it had began flashing and he was Hinata using her new Gentle Step style. Since then the two had began dating and Hinata had blossomed in confidence whilst Naruto developed a new self-awareness (at least where Hinata was concerned). Sakura had thought the reason Naruto’s mark only flashed then was because he hadn’t known that it was his soulmark, but apparently Hinata knew otherwise.

 “What about you Captain Yamato? Did your soulmark flash when you met your soulmate?” Sakura looked at her team captain. Said Captain turned bright red and nearly missed ducking a branch.

“What makes you think I have a soulmark?”

“The fact you just turned bright red?” Sakura pointed out. “So who is it?”

“None of your business!”

“Oh come on. Hayate and Yugao are soulmates. Naruto and Hinata, Shika and Temari. We deserve to know!”

“Asuma and Kurenai. Hanabi and that Konohamaru kid.” Shikimaru added with a nod.

“Even Kakashi has a soulmate.” Sakura shot in too, and Shikamaru glanced over to her in surprise.

“Really? Who? Not Gai right?”

Sakura snorted but before she could reply Yamato yelled back at them.

“OF COURSE KAKASHI SEMPAI’S SOULMATE ISN’T  GAI!”

“…Is it you.” Shikamaru asked a sly grin on his face before he dodged a kunai thrown at his face.

“I guess so. Wouldn’t have seen that coming.” Sakura grinned at the other two before they continued on, joking as they went.

 It didn’t take them too long, and they arrived at the capital in less than a day, and after an hour of paperwork and approval, they found themselves in a cheap hotel on the outskirts of the city.

“Tch. The Daimyo certainly knows how to treat his shinobi.” Shikamaru groaned.

“I thought you’d be pleased, you get to sleep in a bed before we go speak to the Daimyo and his guard.” Sakura quipped back.

The group unpacked their gear slowly making use of their down time before the following day.

 “So. What’s your soulmark?” Shikamaru asked raising his brows.

“Shikamaru-san! You can’t asked that.”

“Why not? Might help us narrow it down. There’s a good chance she’ll beet whoever it is in the city, seeing as it only recently started to flash.”

That was true. Soulmarks always corresponded with Soulmates in one form or the other. It just took a little longer for some people to work out.

“Good point. Only fair you tell me yours first.”

“Meh, mine is a fan. You know, cause Temari uses them or something.”

Hinata giggled at that before adding her own.

“M-mine is a kitsune-festival mask.”

Sakura laughed.

“Oh, those are definitely big hints. Although if you didn’t know Naruto it might take a little longer.” Sakura shook her head. Those were easy to recognise.

“So what is yours.” Shikimaru asked, breaking Sakura’s thoughts.

“It’s… It’s weird. It’s like some strange curved Shuriken or something.”

“A shuriken?”

“Kind of? It’s just weird. I thought maybe I’d run into a shinobi who used a custom shuriken or something? Maybe a pinwheel? But I don’t know anyone outside of wind country who are related to pinwheels.”

“Weird.” Shikamaru agreed. “Usually a Soulmark is connected to something unique about the person not their weapons.”

“You literally just said your soulmark for Temari is a fan.”

“Because her jutsu is unique and connected to fans. There have only been three shinobi in Suna history to use fans to slice air.”

“Fair enough.” Sakura slumped down. Her mark would be difficult to work out.

“Look lets sleep on it. Maybe in the morning you’ll know more.” Hinata added and they nodded in agreement. Sleep sounded wonderous. 

Chapter 2

“YOU WANT TO WHAT?!” 

Apparently the Hokage had not sent word to the Daimyo about the change in his guard. Said guard was stood, face entirely blank, beside the screaming noble. So far the scroll handed to him had only upset the Daimyo into something of a tantrum. In fact, Naruto’s own tantrums when told he couldn’t have ramen seemed like an elders council speech compared to the display before the team.

“We are here to exchange Captain Yamato here, for your current head guard Shisui Uchiha. Whilst we understand the lack of notice -something urgent has come up that only Shisui can help deal with. Yamato here is more than qualified to guard yourself and your family Lord Daimyo. In fact he is the only Shinobi aside from the First Hokage to have the Mokuton. Lady Tsunade selected him personally to ensure your safety.”

If there was one thing Sakura had learned from her master, it was the art of kissing up to nobles to get the outcome you want. Well that and how to hold ones liqueur. But only one of those skills was useful right now, and if anything Sakura would kill for a drink to help deal with this.

“Why?” 

“Because your safety is paramount to the peace of the Land of Fire, my lord.”

“No. Why do you need Uchiha?”

“I’m afraid that’s above our clearance to know. As the Hokage’s apprentice she thought that my presence might help reassure you the urgency of this mission as well as our knowledge of how important you are to the Land.”

A little lie didn’t hurt either. 

“Yes, yes. I did find it odd for Tsunade to send two clan heirs and her own apprentice.” His face seemed stunned for a moment before he masked it with a sagely imitation of wisdom.

Clearly, only now had the Daimyo realised who Sakura was, probably having thought she was simply a pretty face added to placate him. Technically that was probably also part of Tsunade’s planning, but Sakura didn’t need to let him know that.

After a little more back and forth, Shikamaru adding that technically Shisui was due to leave from the guard anyway, the Daimyo finally agreed. With that they regrettably left Yamato in place of Shisui and the group left. Not having shared a word with each other until they were long out of the capital.

The group stopped after an hour of running and opted to set up camp.

“Holy shit.” Shikmaru finally burst. 

“Y-you sounded very convincing S-sakura-chan.” 

Sakura, to her credit, simply shrugged as the other collapsed in giggles.

“I had to train with Homura and Koharu in the art of politics. The Daimyo is nothing compared to those old bats and the clan elders.” 

Shisui laughed at that. It was warm and reminded Sakura a bit of Naruto.

“Right, before anything else. My name is Shikamaru Nara, this is Hinata Hyuuga, and the political negociator over there is the Hokage’s apprentice.”

“The name’s Sakura.” She grinned. “Very sorry for the unexpected legal kidnapping.”

“I honestly didn’t expect it. So tell me, why have you retrieved me?” 

Sakura opened her mouth before closed it. She didn’t actually know, she hadn’t even read her scroll yet, so right now it could be anything. Technically the brief had been to swap Yamato for Shisui and have him accompany them in whatever the new mission was.

“Gimmie a second.” She finally said, pulling out her own mission scroll. It was written formally like any other mission scroll, but there was an obscurity about it that made Sakura scowl.

Sakura, apprentice of Hokage Tsunade. Your mission is to heal the damage done to Shisui Uchiha’s eyes through use of the Sharingan with the assistance of Hinata Hyuuga and Shikimaru Nara. Here is the knowledge compiled on the degenerative abilities of the Sharingan, and what little knowledge we have on preventing it. 

Please report back to the village once you are confident in having gathered all the necessary things.

Dispose of this once read 

Signed. 

Homura Mitokado

Koharu Utatane

Hokage Tsunade Senju. 

That- That was impossible. Tsunade herself had explained to Fugaku that the sharingan’s damage was irreversible. 

“Are they- THEY CAN’T BE SERIOUS!” Sakura yelled, ripping up the scroll.

“What? What?!” Shikamaru, for once in his life, looked worried. 

“Those- those idiots are expecting a miracle.”

“What?”

“Tell me Uchiha-san, how long have you been going blind?”

The following exchange went from Shisui initially denying it to finally Sakura giving him a lecture that he was acting like Saskue did when he was being stupid about a critical injury on a mission. Shikamaru and Hinata decided to make themselves scarce during this exchange, which Sakura thought was probably from learnt experience with her and her squad. After a bit more back and forth Shisui pouted and sat down as ordered, allowed Sakura to cast a diagnostic jutsu after explaining she was a medic-nin. 

“So you know Saskue?”

“I’m on his dumbass original genin squad. Sakura Haruano. I’m pretty sure Itachi probably mentioned me at some point.”

“You’re Sakura?” 

“What were you expecting. Some burly woodcutter type?”

“I was expecting someone a bit... Younger?”

“ARE YOU SAYING I’M OLD!”

“No! No! I just keep imagining Saskue and his team as 12 year old genin. It’s hard to picture him as anything but.”

“Well him and Naruto technically still are genin. Saskue ended up injured the past two chunin exams. Different incidents of course. And Naruto went on a round trip with the Pervert himself.” 

“Pervert... You mean Jiraiya?” Shisui seemed stunned at the name.

“Yes. Could you activate you Shaingan for me?” 

He obliged. 

“Okay. Now seeing as its just us. Can you show me your other form of sharingan.” 

“You know about the Mangekyo.

“Itachi mentioned it on one of his physicals. Said it was draining.”

Shisui nodded, and then activated it. 

Sakura froze completely and almost immediately Shisui deactivated it.

“I'm sorry! You asked me to activate it!”

“You- you - you-” Sakura couldn’t get the words out. 

How. How the hell was her soulmark in his eyes. 

Of course she knew the answer. He was her soulmate.

“I ams sorry. I know that it’s a bit intimidating, but you didn’t seem-”

“Shut up a second!” Sakura finally cut him off. “What’s your soulmark?”

“What?! What does that have to- It’s a flower. Actually, hang on!”

He pulls out a pressed flower from his jacket. It was a purple bell shaped flower, and instantly Sakura recognised it.

“That’s Aconite.” Sakura blinked at the flower.

“Yeah?”

“It’s poisonous.”

What kind of dumbass walked around with a press of a posioness flower in his jacket. Sakura herself didn’t do that. That was beyond stupid and dangerous. Sure she used it all the time, but she was a medic nin she could handle and accidental poisoning. Unless of course Shisui was a poison expert and was using it in some sort of concoction. 

“It is?”

No. Apparently he was a dumbass like Naruto.

“Yeah. It is. Why do you carry it around in your jacket? Are you trying to kill yourself?”

“Huh? I just carry it in case I run into my soulmate, then I could pull it out and present it to her.”

Oh, never mind kill himself, he wanted to accidentally kill his soul mate too! If she hadn’t known better, he’d have killed her.

“I use it in my antidotes and- Well its my favourite flower.”

“Your favourite flower is poisonous?”

Sakura snorted. “Ino- my best friend- compared me to an Aconite bud when we become friends. It stuck with me I guess.”

Shisui’s face seems to fill with realisation.

“So... This flower has a special connection to you?”

“Yes, and clearly the curved shuriken is connected to you, seeing as its in your eyes.”

“Wait! Are you trying to say-?”Apparently she had to spell it out for him.

 “That that weird dumbass shuriken soul mark I’ve been branded with is actually your mangekyo? Yeah.” 

“Huh.”

Sakura snorted once more. 

“I guess I’ve got a real reason to be motivated to find your cure now.”

[the--blackdahlia]

The General’s Daughter Chapter 3

Title: The General’s Daughter Chapter 3

Summary:  Stevie Holstead was enjoying her time at a hospital in Seoul. She was there with friends, even with the ever-watching eyes of her father watching her. That was until Margaret Houlihan decided she needed help with the nurses. Now Stevie is heading to the 4077th, and a whole lot of adventure that she never thought she would see in her lifetime.

Series Warnings: Language, violence, war themes, later attempted non-con, sexual themes, later sexual scene, crude humor, and more that might come to mind later on.

AN: Thank you so much to everyone who read chapter 2! I really appreciate it! I would also like to thank @piratewithvigor​​ for being my beta and listening to my insane ideas. Also, I want to go ahead and add that I have decided that this verse is “it’s okay to be gay”. Screw homophobic 1950s.

Taglist: @traceyaudette​

Henry was sitting at a table in the mess tent with Margaret and Frank when Stevie walked in, feeling more refreshed than she had a few hours ago. She got her food and was about to find herself a place to sit when she was called over to their table. Part of her wanted to be alone, to just go through the motions until she was called back to Seoul, but another part of her really did want to fit in and enjoy her time at the famous 4077th.

“Majors. Colonel,” Stevie greeted the three as she sat down by Henry.

“How are you liking it so far?” Henry asked, smiling at her.

“It’s a lot different than Seoul,” She returned his smile the best that she could. “But it’s not bad.”

“Not bad, she says,” Henry laughed loudly. Stevie took a sip of her coffee and coughed when the liquid touched her taste buds.

“Woah, that’s like tar,” She shuddered. “Gather some of this and we could have paved roads all throughout here.” The doors to the mess tent opened and Trapper and Hawkeye made their way in. BJ had gotten fed up listening to Hawkeye not crush on Stevie and kicked him out, sending him to annoy Trapper for a little bit while he got some sleep. Trapper was quick to sit down by Stevie, giving Hawkeye a shit eating grin when he glared at the other surgeon. He was forced to sit on the other side of Margaret, refusing to sit by Frank.

“What did we miss?” Trapper asked, making eye contact with Hawkeye as he moved closer to Stevie.

“Stevie discovered real Army coffee,” Margaret explained. “Even though I

thought you would’ve been used to it being from a military family.”

“Well, we were always in fully functioning hospitals and such. They usually had good coffee.” Stevie took a bite of her food and made a disgusted face. “And food.”

“Oh, your dad’s a doctor too?” Frank asked. Stevie nodded while Margaret smiled. Just like most of the higher brass, she knew Samuel Holstead’s track record. And he was one she hadn’t had the opportunity to have a discussion with.

“Does that mean he’s the surgeon general?” Hawkeye asked. Margaret turned to glare at the captain and was about to berate him when Stevie started laughing.

“Oh my! That was good!” Stevie smiled brightly at Hawkeye. “I seriously have never thought of that one before.” Margaret rolled her eyes as Hawkeye leaned across the table.

“I’m Hawkeye. We met earlier but you were tired.” He told her.

“Hawkeye? Like Last of the Mohicans? ” Stevie asked. Trapper could see Hawkeye’s eye light up. He just knew that him and BJ would be subjected to more of his “not crushing” on Stevie in the days to come.

“Exactly,” He smiled at her and Frank groaned.

“Now, don’t you be corrupting her like you did Hunnicutt!” Frank snapped.

“Can’t corrupt the corrupted,” Trapper laughed.  Stevie shook her head and worked on trying to eat the food in front of her. “Even though, I think that the food will kill Ms. Captain here before we have a chance to corrupt her.”

“It’s not the worst food I’ve had,” Stevie explained. “But I’ve been to so many bases over my lifetime, I couldn’t tell you which was the best and worst.” She fiddled with the dog tags around her neck.

“Where is home then?” Hawkeye asked. “If you’ve been to so many places.”

“I was born in Cicero, Indiana, and lived there until dad got settled in the remodeled Fort Benjamin Harrison.”

“I’m from Fort Wayne!” Frank said excitedly. “Wait, where’s Cicero?” Stevie sighed.

“Anyway, we lived in Indiana until I was about one or two I think. I’ve probably been on at least 50 bases over my lifetime. But my favorite was California. The sun, the beach. But that’s all a story for another time.” She smiled and Hawkeye was sure that you could see his heart pounding out of his chest like in those Looney Tunes episodes. “Anyway, Major Houlihan, whenever you want to introduce me to the rest of the nursing team, I’m ready.”

“Don’t you want the rest of your oatmeal?” Trapper asked, poking at a white blob on her tray.

“That’s oatmeal?” Stevie asked. “I thought it was bad powered eggs.”

“Welcome to the 4077th,” Hawkeye laughed. “Where we have 1 star food and the ambient noise of gunfire to lull you to sleep.” Stevie gave him another smile before her and Margaret headed off to see the other nurses.

****

“I’ll have to apologize for Captain Pierce,” Margaret told Stevie as they headed towards the other nurses quarters. “He’s a good surgeon, but too cynical and a little too much of everything else. Especially for a first meeting.”

“He’s fine major,” Stevie smiled fondly. “He reminds me of someone.”

“Oh? A boyfriend back home or something?” Margaret quizzed.

“Not quite. He's a friend who's a boy and we flirt and all, but he's like the brother I never had and always wanted . ” Stevie sighed. “I still miss him a lot. Even though my dad doesn’t like me hanging out with sergeants”

“A sergeant?” Margaret asked.

“Well, I just call him a sergeant. Michael’s actually a sergeant major, but he wants to be a warrant officer so bad,” Margaret watched a sad smile make it’s way on Stevie’s face before she shook her head.

“Well, a sergeant major is almost an officer,” Margaret told her, patting her shoulder. “And a warrant officer is a lot of responsibility.”

“Yeah...” Stevie shook herself out of her homesickness, returning to her cheerful mood. “Come on. I’m ready to meet the girls.” Margaret returned her smile and went to get the nurses so Stevie could meet them.

****

“Earth to Hawkeye,” Henry waved his hand in front of Hawkeye’s face. “Hello.”

“What?” Hawkeye asked, turning his attention to the table in front of him. Radar, Klinger, BJ, Trapper, Henry, and himself were all gathered around the table for their poker game.

“Are you playing or not?” Trapper asked. “Or are you still daydreaming about Captain Holstead?”

“I’m not daydreaming about Stevie,” Hawkeye told them, throwing a couple chips into the pot.

“I had to kick him out because he kept talking about her goofy cute smile,” BJ told the group, causing Hawkeye to shoot a glare his way.

“Oh, it’s just a crush. Once she’s here for a few days, it’ll go away,” Henry told them. “Especially after he adds her notch to his bedpost.”

“What?” Radar asked. Klinger just patted his arm.

“We’ll tell you when you’re older,” Klinger laughed. Radar pulled his arm away.

“I think I’m old enough!” Radar’s voice squeaked a little, making all the guys smile.

“What Henry means is that Hawk will get a roll in the hay with Ms. Captain and then he’ll be back on his normal bullshit,” Trapper explained to Radar. “He’ll be drooling over her replacement when Hot Lips scares her so much that she would rather be at a front line aid station than here.”

“Oh shut up,” Hawkeye shook his head. “Let’s just play cards.” Radar, Klinger, Henry, BJ, and  Trapper all exchanged looks. “What?”

“Nothing,” BJ shook his head. “I’m in.”

****

Attention! Incoming wounded! Let’s do this folks!

Stevie stood in the OR with the other nurses. The corpsmen brought in a wounded soldier for each surgeon. Margaret went to stand by Frank, wanting to stand on the sidelines and see how Captain Holstead handled high paced surgery.

“Captain Holstead, assist Captain McIntyre,” Margaret told her. Stevie nodded and headed over to Trapper.

“Hey there sweetheart,” Trapper smiled at her under his mask. “I’m so glad I get to be your partner for your first dance.”

“I’ve assisted in several surgeries,” Stevie told him. “But this is a first at a MASH.”

“Then I’m glad I can be your first,” Trapper glanced up at Hawkeye, who was glaring.

“You wish Captain,” Stevie was smirking now. Trapper chuckled.

“Can I get some quiet in here?!” Frank yelled.

“Yeah Frank. Quiet,” Hawkeye shot back.

The time in the OR seemed to fly by as Stevie worked with Trapper. She seemed to be channeling her inner Radar, being able to get Trapper what he needed before he even asked her. Eventually, the wounded stopped coming and everyone stripped out of their blood stained scrubs.

“So, how was she?” Margaret pulled Trapper aside to speak to him about Stevie. Captain Holstead was otherwise preoccupied with BJ.

“She was magnificent in every sense of the word,” Trapper told her. “I wouldn’t mind seeing how she could be as a partner in other areas.”

“Oh you pervert!” Frank shook his head.

“I was meaning euchre Frank,” Trapper shook his head. “We have some very dirty minded people in this camp.” He laughed and headed out.

“I’d love to see pictures of her,” Stevie told BJ. She had gotten him talking about Peg and Erin, and he hadn’t been able to stop. “Her and your wife just sound so cute.”

“They are,” BJ nodded. “I’m going to call it a night, but I have plenty of pictures in the Swamp I can show you.”

“I’d love that,” She smiled at him and ran her fingers through her hair. “Well, I’ll see you later. I want to wash some of this blood off before I have Post OP duty.”

“Got you pulling that already?” BJ laughed. “Must have pissed someone off.” He smiled. “Goodnight Stevie.”

“Goodnight BJ,” She waved goodbye to the doctor before turning to scrub at her hands. Hawkeye threw his dirty laundry in the bag to be sanitised before heading over to where Stevie was. Frank and Margaret looked at each other before making their way over as well.

“You did well Captain Holstead,” Margaret complimented her, a rare event that most nurses didn’t get to see. “I hope you keep it up.”

“Yes major. I won’t let you down.” Stevie nodded. “Goodnight.” Margaret smiled before leading Frank out. “So, how long have those two been tangoing?” Stevie asked Hawkeye, not even looking up at him.

“That obvious?” Hawkeye asked, leaning up against the wall to watch her.

“Reminds me of some of the going ons back in Seoul,” Stevie told him. “I’m guessing one of them is married?”

“Frank’s married to who we assume is a hostage, Margaret’s married to the Army,” Hawkeye laughed. “What about you? Partner? Kids?”

“I haven’t even had as much of a dog,” Stevie sighed. “Dad said they were just too much trouble. And I haven’t been in one place for long enough to have any serious relationships.” She tried off her hands and headed towards the Post OP for her evening rounds, surprised to see Hawkeye following her.

“I’m on night duty,” He told her. “Do you want some coffee or anything?”

“I’m okay for right now captain,” Stevie told him, walking through the rows of beds, looking at the wounded and resting servicemen. Part of her was scared that she would look at these faces and see one of the faces of her friends she had made over the years. But Michael was in Seoul the last she knew; Saul had gone to England for his grandmother’s funeral, and she didn’t see him coming back any time soon; Bill, no, his name was Axl, had been sent home and threatened to run to Canada if they ever tried to pull him back; and Izzy had switched to the Air Force with dreams of flying planes the way he raced cars, fast.

“You can call me Hawkeye,” He told her, taking his seat at the desk in the corner. He put his feet up on it and watched Stevie walk around, checking on the charts. “So, do you know any of them?”

“Who?” Stevie looked at him.

“The Rockettes,” Hawkeye laughed. “The soldiers.” Hawkeye waved a hand to indicate what he meant.

“Oh, no,” She shook her head and took a seat at the desk with him. “Thankfully, I don’t. But I know that won’t last long.”

“What makes you say that?” Hawkeye asked.

“Some of these kids can’t afford to get sent home. If their injuries aren’t bad enough, they’ll let some officer tell them how great Army life is, promise them things that won’t ever come to them, and the cycle repeats itself.” Stevie sighed.

“Lots of experience with that?”

“I know four guys that I’ve met at different bases over the years,” Stevie explained. “Only one of them didn’t let himself be convinced by the military to stay. He went back to Indiana, saying he’d rather take his chances with his asshole stepfather than be in the military one more day.”

“You know, for you to be regular army, you don’t have a very high opinion of it,” Hawkeye put his feet on the ground and leaned forward. “Like, I know why I hate it. But why do you?”

“I don’t hate it,” Stevie told him. “I just resent it.”

“Oh? Do tell?” Hawkeye smiled at her. Stevie laughed a little.

“Maybe some other time,” she got up. “Don’t want to give all my secrets away on the first day. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have my rounds to make.”

[hungline]

dinner for six

pairing: namseok  genre: angst, drama, arranged marriage au, chaebol au, rated t  warnings: an allergic reaction, needles, mild fainting, swearing  words: 2600 

summary: Namjoon visits Hoseok at work. Hoseok decides he really does hate his guts, but that doesn’t mean he’s just going to let the poor guy die after all.  

⇢ chapter one of arranged to be 

“Mr. Jung.”

Hoseok looks up to see his assistant standing by the door. His clipboard is clutched tightly to his chest and Hoseok has a hard time remembering his name. Which is strange, because Hoseok doesn’t remember hiring a new assistant recently, but he honest to god does not know the name of the man standing before him. Nevertheless, Hoseok nods, showing that he has his attention and waits to see what his new assistant has for him to sign today.

“A Mr. Kim is in the lobby waiting to see you, sir.”

“Mr. Kim?” Hoseok asks his tone heavy with shock and disbelief. “Kim Namjoon, perhaps?”

His assistant nods, a pained smile flitting across his face as he does. “Yes, sir. He’s been here for almost half an hour, refusing to leave no matter how many times I, and the rest of the staff, have told him that you clearly stated you did not want to be bothered today.”

Hoseok’s assistant pauses and Hoseok belatedly realizes that this is the new assistant his father had hired to replace the old one who’d spilled coffee all over the break room floor. To be fair, carrying that many cups of coffee was a sure way to have an accident and Hoseok hadn’t been cross with her one bit. There was no arguing with his father however and by the next day, Seulgi’s resignation letter had been on Hoseok’s desk.

“He says it’s urgent that he speaks with you, sir. Do I let him in?” His assistant continues.

Hoseok mulls it over and runs a hand through his hair, grasping for anything that would give him a hint to his assistant’s name. Finally, Hoseok sighs and nods, murmuring a sound of agreement before his assistant is nodding as well and turning on his heel, back towards the reception area.

While he’s gone, Hoseok sets about trying to look busy, pulling out a random contract from his ever-growing pile and scans its contents, hoping with all hope that he looks like he’s really considering it and not pretending to be occupied so he can avoid Kim-fucking-Namjoon.

Yoongi was right. Hoseok is in one hell of a shit storm alright.

There's a knock on his door then, pulling Hoseok out of his panicked state. Hoseok calms his breath and pulls on the poker face he saves for business meetings, staring up at the door to find Kim Namjoon's tall silhouette taking up the entire glass pane.

"Come in," Hoseok grunts, suddenly irritated again.

Namjoon enters, almost tripping when the toe of his oxfords catch on the door jam, only saving himself from falling flat on his face by desperately gripping onto the door of Hoseok’s office in a panic. Hoseok stands, concerned when a weird crunching sound fills the air as Namjoon continues to hold the door. Namjoon sheepishly lets go once he’s regained his footing and steps forward, closing the door as gently as he possibly can behind him.

Hoseok crosses his arms over his chest and sits back down, pretending to study the contract in front of him, more irritated than before.

“Um,” Namjoon starts, his voice low and barely audible. “I’m sorry if I came at a bad time.”

“Any time is a bad time for me. I’m constantly busy, Mr. Kim,” Hoseok replies without missing a beat.

“Right,” Namjoon murmurs, voice impossibly lower.

Hoseok lets the next few moments of awkward silence hang heavy in the air before he sighs and looks at the wall past Namjoon’s head. “Did you have a reason for wanting to see me or are you just going to stand there and breathe the same air as me?”

Namjoon flushes and it is by no means one of the cutest things Hoseok has seen. “Um, actually…”

Hoseok rolls his eyes and flips the page of the contract, ignoring the footsteps Namjoon is taking to approach his desk. “Yes, what is it?”

“I'm really sorry about this marriage thing!” Namjoon blurts. “I didn't want to rope you into this or force anyone's hand actually. I don't want to get married, but my parents immediately reached out to yours when I told them I'm gay and set up this whole marriage thing. I'm really, really sorry. Please forgive me.”

Hoseok is too stunned to say anything at first. He blinks dumbly down at the contract in front of him, his gaze long having left the wall, and gapes at it. Namjoon is standing a foot in front of his desk, fists clenched at his sides all that Hoseok can see.

It isn't until Namjoon sniffles that Hoseok realizes he's crying.

“Oh my god,” Hoseok whispers, looking up to meet Namjoon's watery gaze. “Don't cry! You don't need to apologize to me for being gay. What the hell, man?”

Namjoon rubs at his right eye, face aflame as he continues to sniffle. “I'm not apologizing for being gay. Not anymore. I'm just...apologizing for the marriage.”

Hoseok tilts his head to the side. “Does that mean you're offering me a way out of it then?”

Now Namjoon looks guilty, more tears springing to his eyes as he speaks again. “There is no getting out of this. My parents aren't just going to let yours go back on their word. I've already begged them to break it up, but they refused and I...I'm sorry, Hoseok.”

“It's Mr. Jung to you,” Hoseok snaps, suddenly furious. “Get out of my office. I don't want to hear another word of your little pity party. While you're off crying and moping and doing whatever Mommy and Daddy tell you to do, I'm going to be working on getting the hell out of this mess you threw us into. Now, get out.”

Namjoon is still crying when he turns around to leave, but before Hoseok can even sigh in relief, Namjoon is spinning around on the spot, a finger pointing at the contract in front of Hoseok. “That company's trying to screw you over by the way. Their interest rate is jacked up.” 

Then he's turning again and still teary-eyed as he leaves Hoseok's office. Hoseok sags into his chair, the irritation leaving him to deal with relief instead. Annoyance sets in right after though and Hoseok leans over the random contract he'd picked up to make himself look busy.

Namjoon is right. The interest rate is definitely higher than it should be and Hoseok throws the contract into his large denied pile.

Hoseok feels more annoyed now. He has a feeling he's going to hate it every time that Namjoon is right.

  Fuck you, fuck you, you're cool sometimes, fuck you and especially you! Fuck all of you! Hoseok spits out furiously in his head as he broods at the table.

The restaurant is pretty fancy, looking more expensive than his parents can comfortably afford and that should have been the first red flag.

The second flag would definitely have to had been when they were immediately seated as soon as his father uttered their last name on the reservation. Since they're so low in the rungs of the social hierarchy, Hoseok is used to waiting on a table at restaurants.

But the third and final red flag has to be when his mother gripped his arm and told him to behave, or else.

So now he sits at the dinner table, a glass of wine in front of him as he avoids glaring at Kim Namjoon and Kim Namjoon's parents. Namjoon looks graciously embarrassed and does not say a word, even though Hoseok wishes he would. Hoseok ignores most of what their parents are discussing, mainly because he can already guess what, but more so because he's tired of this whole arranged marriage bullcrap.

It's been three days since Namjoon visited him in his office and Hoseok is still pissed off to hell and back. Nothing their parents plan or agree on will change Hoseok's opinion on this.

When their waiter finally appears, Hoseok spits out the name of the most expensive dish on the menu, feeling a tiny burn of victory race through his veins when his mother gives him the evil eye. What Hoseok doesn’t expect however is for Namjoon to ogle at Hoseok as he turns his gaze away from his mother and back to the table, making Hoseok scowl.

“I’ll have what he’s having,” Namjoon murmurs, notching his head in Hoseok’s direction and Hoseok’s scowl deepens when their parents give them approving smiles.

Hoseok goes back to ignoring everyone around him, anger boiling in the pit of his stomach as the waiter comes back with their food. He immediately begins to dig in, uncaring of his table manners and highkey hoping that Namjoon’s parents will consider him too uncivilized for their son and call the whole deal off.

Of course, Hoseok has never gotten what he wanted so he’s unsurprised when neither of Namjoon’s parents jumps up and points a finger at him, calling him an animal for his barbaric eating habits.

In fact, neither of Namjoon’s parents seemed inclined to get out of their seats, not even when Namjoon suddenly holds up a mushroom on his fork, eyes wide before his body begins to shake and he falls out of his chair, dumbly saying, “I’m allergic.”

Immediately, Hoseok sets into action because while Namjoon dying would be an ideal way to get out of the marriage, Hoseok’s bleeding heart won’t allow him to let Namjoon die on his watch. He pats around Namjoon’s jeans, hoping with all his might that Namjoon had been smart enough to bring what Hoseok needs the most right now.

It looks like Namjoon isn’t as dumb as Hoseok thought because as soon as he pats Namjoon’s jacket pockets, he finds the epipen. Namjoon is still shaking, but his eyes had rolled up to the back of his head as soon as Hoseok uncapped the pen and out came the needle. Hoseok doesn’t think twice about stabbing it into Namjoon’s thigh.

Namjoon’s body goes lax, the color slowly returning to his face as the seconds pass and then he gasps, coughing or maybe choking and Hoseok panics again, quickly sitting him up to thump his back. Namjoon groans at that, slouched over but his breathing is back to normal and Hoseok falls back on his haunches, a relieved sigh escaping his lungs.

And then he laughs because no matter how deathly afraid of needles Hoseok may be, Namjoon fainting at the mere sight of a needle is hilarious, besides the allergic reactions anyway, and a little cute if he’s being completely honest.

“A needle? That’s what scares you the most?” Hoseok guffaws, laying Namjoon gently back down on the floor. “You’re a piece of work, Kim Namjoon.”

It’s only then that he realizes the entire restaurant has gone silent, all eyes on them and Hoseok scoots back, putting space between himself and Namjoon.

Namjoon’s parents crowd around their son, hands soothing over his hair and making sure he’s truly fine before calling an ambulance.

“Really, Joonie. You know better than to order something with mushrooms,” his mother says, hand on his cheek as she forces him to meet his gaze, even though he refuses to open his eyes, pretending to still be unconscious. “You’re lucky your fiance is quick on his feet.”

Hoseok blanches at that, falling back even further before deciding it would be best to just stand up instead. His parents flank him then, hands on his elbows as they force him into a seat as Namjoon’s father ends his call.

“The ambulance is on their way, alright, Joon?” His father says, much too loud and Hoseok watches as Namjoon winces at the sound, leaving Hoseok wanting to say something, but not sure what. Namjoon’s father turns to face him, his expression grave and serious. “Thank you, Hoseok-ssi. You just saved my son’s life.”

Hoseok stills, not liking the implications of that and winces in tune with Namjoon when Namjoon’s father adds, “Told you that we made the right choice when we picked him to marry Namjoonie, Minhee.”

Namjoon’s mother tsks at him, hand flapping at his chest to quiet him. “Not now. Our son just had an allergic reaction.”

Hoseok’s mother’s nails dig into his shoulder and Hoseok almost yelps, biting his tongue instead to keep himself from making any noise.

“Now might be the best moment to finalize the deal though because, as you can tell, they already care for one another,” Hoseok’s mother pipes up, not withering under the skeptical gaze Namjoon’s mother shoots her.

Namjoon’s father sits up and produces a contract out of the inner pockets of his jacket. “Have Hoseok sign this and the wedding will be a go. Thank you again, but we really should take Namjoon outside so the ambulance can take him as soon as they arrive.”

Hoseok’s father takes the contract, brows raising before he speaks. “Everything looks in order. Namjoon-ssi already signed as well. Do you have a specific deadline you would wish for us to meet before the deal is void?”

“Before next week, please. You have my number now, so just call me as soon as Hoseok signs it,” Namjoon’s father says as he pulls one of Namjoon’s arms over his shoulder.

“Why wait until then? We’re all here, Hoseok may as well sign the contract now,” Hoseok’s mother says and all the hope Hoseok held about getting out of this shitty deal goes up in flames.

Namjoon, bless him, is still pretending to be unconscious and Hoseok wishes he was lucky enough to do that right now. Hoseok’s mother takes the contract and sets it down in front of him, pulling a pen out of her purse that she pushes into Hoseok’s hand with a look on her face that says volumes. 

Hoseok gulps and takes the pen, already dreading the moment he’ll have to sign it as he looks over the contract.

  Kim Namjoon and Jung Hoseok shall wed within three months of the approval of this contract. They will remain married for the required time of one complete year and if they wish to, they may divorce once the year is complete. The parameters of the relationship will be discussed between the two mentioned and they shall be required to reside in the same residence for the duration of the year.

I, Kim Namjoon, agree to the following terms as such and promise to abide by them.

I, ___________, agree to the following terms as such and promise to abide by them.

 The contract is simple and Hoseok already hates it, but he knows better than to try and defy his parents at this moment right now. He’s been backed into a corner with no way out, the only thing that will save Hoseok is signing this damned contract.

So he signs, feeling as if he just sentenced himself to a lifetime of prison because he knows full well that by the end of the year, his parents will disinherit him if he and Namjoon do decide to get divorced.

When Hoseok looks up from the contract, he immediately finds Namjoon who’s leaning on his father, awake now as his parents try and drag him out of the restaurant.

The guilt burning in Namjoon’s eyes is enough to have tears spring to Hoseok’s own.

[jack-irallie]

Chapter 1 - Lost and Found

Slice of life story about gay couple and their daughter, but whoops the new biology teacher at the daughter's school is an old boyfriend of one of the dads! 

Only the first two chapters are finished (WIP/First Draft), but I’m dying to share, so...

The high school was bustling with activity, from students running around with poster boards and projects to teachers greeting families as they wandered past the booths lining the front walkway and through large double doors. 

In one of the cars that had just arrived and found itself on a curb bordering the main street, a young teenager sprung out, already racing across a patch of grass and toward the parking lot. 

“Hey, where are you going in such a hurry?”

She glanced behind at the voice, one foot already on the concrete. “Can I go practice cheerleading drills with my friends while you guys do all the boring stuff? Please? I told Tiffany I’d meet her over at the basketball courts.”

“And I’m only just hearing about this?”

“I didn’t think you’d care.”

He huffed a sigh as he stepped out of the car. “Only if you promise to meet me back at the front doors at six.”

“Yeah, yeah…”

“Amber.”

She rolled her eyes, but was quick to drop the brattiness for a more genuine attitude. “I will...is dad coming?”

He gave a nod as he pulled out his phone to skim a text that had just popped onto the screen. “Oh, he just left work, actually.”

“When does the…” His voice trailed off before picking up once he had fished a folded up flyer out of his pocket.

Bright, bold word art spelled out ‘Back to School Night’ on the top of the page with a bunch of fine print under that he had to squint with a squint. “Who even makes these things; it doesn’t even have the time.”

Amber stomped over, glancing over his shoulder and almost immediately pointing out what he had missed. “It already started like ten minutes ago, which means I’m late.”

“Hey, I’m not stopping you.” He put his hands up in mock defense as he leaned some of his weight back on the car. “Go have fun with your friends; I’ll be here...well, until your father shows up.”

“Have fun with all the boring teacher stuff,” were her parting words as she turned on a heel and rushed towards the school.

“Love you too.” He replied with light sarcasm as he unlocked his phone, scrolling through the contacts until he clicked on ‘Richard’ and hit call. 

A few rings later, and a voice slightly muffled by the sound of traffic picked up. “Hey, I was just about to call. Almost there.”

“How was work?”

“Eh, same old stuff. Got some good tips.” A swell of music started to overtake the call, but it was promptly turned down a few notches. “I can meet you inside if you want.”

“Oh, don’t worry. I’m just out here in the cold; I’ll be fine.”

Richard chuckled. “You poor dear; made the mistake of wearing shorts again?”

“I can’t help if the weather is so inconsistent.” He grumbled, just getting more soft laughter that turned out to be quite contagious. “Know you’d never make that mistake, with your life all together and shit.”

“It’s not that hard to know not to wear shorts in September, darling. I’m sure it’ll be warmer inside. But um...I’m just around the corner, so I’m going to let you go.”

“Yeah…see you in a sec.” 

There were even less parking than there was prior, but a quite ordinary blue sedan found a spot across the street; Richard quickly got out to rush past a horde of cars that were still on the hunt for a place to park.

“Grant...you really did wait out here for me; you must be freezing.” He muttered as he stepped up onto the curb and slipped out of his jacket to drape it on his boyfriend. 

“No use going in and awkwardly standing in the hall.” He shrugged it off like it was no big deal, but was obviously grateful for the warmth, which only grew as they started to walk and Richard slipped a casual arm over his shoulders. 

“Where’s Amber?”

“Ran off to practice cheerleading with her friends.” He answered as they weaved between impatient drivers and the shrubbery that lined each row of the parking lot. “I don’t think she has to come in with us?”

Richard gave a lax shrug, though he swiftly put his arm out when a car whizzed by them only to pull into a parking spot a couple dozen feet away. 

He muttered an obscenity under his breath, relieved when they finally reached the school’s sidewalk. “I swear; you think people would be more careful with kids around.”

Grant gave a long sigh as he patted the other’s back. “You okay? You seem a bit tense tonight.”

“Me? Yeah; I’m fine.” He looked down at himself, adjusting his turtleneck and thumbing away a leaf that had blown over and stuck to the fabric. “I just hate how people are looking at us...at you. Wish I could give them a piece of my mind.’

“We are kind of the token gay couple here, huh?” He joked as he glanced around at the sea of straight parents. And, leaning in to whisper, he added, “Fuck em’; Amber is doing great and that’s all that matters.”

That got a chuckle out of Richard. “You’re right.”

Before their conversation could continue, a cheery lady behind a colorful booth was ushering them over. “Hello! Are you here for back to school night?”

“Yeah, Grant Miller; my daughter is a freshman here.” He approached the counter, putting a hand out for a shake before noticing a sign in sheet that he scribbled his and Richard’s names onto. 

“Wonderful, what’s her name?”

“Amber.” He watched as the woman searched through a large folder and pulled out a slip of paper with a list of classes and a simple map. “Ah, thanks; I was just going to ask where we had to go.”

“No problem; have a nice time.” She said, her attention already on a different set of parents. 

“Where to first?” Richard asked, glancing down to skim over the paper. “Sure you know your way around better than me.”

“Probably, but I doubt any of the classes are where I remember them…” Grant muttered as they entered the busy hallway. “Yeah, looks like Biology is in the old English room…Let’s go there first; it’s right down here.”

Past a row of lockers and some more judgemental side eyes, they came across the correct room number, but took pause at the name plate hanging below it as they continued inside.

A man in a lab coat turned on his heel at the sound of the creaking door, giving a warm, inviting smile. “Let me guess; the name on the slip is different than the one on the sign? I just took over a few days ago and...it’s a long story.”

Richard peeked back at the correct sign for a moment before putting his hand out to the teacher. “Well, it’s lovely to meet you Mr.Moore.”

“Likewise.”

“Alan?”

The teacher’s demeanor shifted at Grant’s questioning, causing him to squint his eyes in thought before they went wide with realization. Though, he was quick to dart them towards the ground as he adjusted his glasses. “You look quite different with facial hair; I almost didn’t recognize you. You’re daughter is Amber Miller, correct? I’ll go grab her folder.”

Richard glanced between them before he turned to his partner with a hushed voice. “Is he an old boyfriend of yours?”

“Heh...is it obvious?” 

“A little; I can handle this if-”

“No, no; I’m fine.” Grant cut in before the other could continue. “I just wasn’t expecting to see him here of all places.”

“So...oh, yes, Amber.” Alan mumbled as he pulled a few papers out to slide across the table. “She seems like a very bright student, got a ninety-nine on her first big test when the average was closer to eighty.”

“Wonderful.” Richard said as he sat down and skimmed through some of the other assignments, all which had high marks. “She’s always been a pretty good student.”

“Yeah…” Although Grant was happy that his daughter was doing well, there were obviously other things still eating away at his mind. “What are you doing back here, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Oh, they offered me a higher pay than the other high schools in the area; wanted their ‘star pupil’ back.” He chuckled with a slant of self deprecation, clearing his throat before continuing. “I thought you would’ve gotten out of this town by now; I’m surprised to see you here.”

“I uh...I did for awhile, but I’m glad to be back. It’s been a wonderful town for us to raise Amber in.”

“Ah, so you are a couple; I was about to ask. I actually got married awhile back; this year is my fifteenth anniversary.”

Grant leaned in with a delighted smile. “Oh? And who’s the lucky man?”

Alan simply spun a frame around that had been previously facing him with a picture of a bride and groom smiling cheesily for the camera before going back to some paperwork. “It’s was lovely to see you and your husband; I hope your daughter enjoys my class.”

“We aren’t…” But his voice petered out as his mind filled with a growing list of questions that he tried to push aside. “It was nice to see you too, Alan.”

The silence that followed was their cue to leave, and after a couple of awkward seconds, Grant grabbed his daughter’s work and stood back up. 

Though, just as the couple reached the door, Alan spoke up once more. “Wait...I’m sorry.” He said as he hurried over with a tired smile. “Seeing you just put a lot on my mind, and…”

“Hey, I get it. Me too; don’t sweat it.”

The old friends stared at each other for a moment, Alan speaking up first as he nervously stumbled over his words. “You know...my wife and I were going to go to see a movie tonight; you and your husband are more than welcome to join us.”

“We are only dating at the moment.” Richard added. “But that sounds lovely. Long as you’re okay with that, dear.”

Grant gave a nod as he pulled out his cellphone. “Why not; might be nice to catch up. What time?”

But, even after the conversation had ended positively, with the couple leaving for the hallway after exchanging information, Grant was hit with the reality of what had just happened and made a beeline outside. 

It was much calmer than the bustling hallway, though a cold wind made him cross his arms to rub them for warmth. “I’m sorry; I just...I needed a breather.”

Richard was right by his side, patting his back for comfort. “We don’t have to-”

“I want to.” Grant assured forcefully as his eyes darted up to his partner’s, but were quick to fall to the ground. “I just didn’t think back to school night was going to make me feel emotional.”

“Aw, hon…” He sneaked a quick kiss on the cheek, pulling his boyfriend into a side hug. “Go wait in the car; I’ll handle the rest of it, okay?”

“But…”

“I insist. I’m sure the rest of it will be super boring anyway.”

The genuine smile from his partner lulled Grant into a calmer state as he leaned into the hug. “I love you, but you baby me too much.”

Richard laughed at the comment, and they shared teasing looks before he finally pulled away. “Love you too. I’ll see you in a bit.”

After parting, Grant wandered back to the car, plopping down in the front seat and pushing it back to get more comfortable. 

Soft rock filled the space as he rested his eyes and rubbed over them. Part of him was excited to see the man he used to date, but the other...the other was terrified. 

Ignoring his problems, he pulled a sudoku book out of the glove box, zoning out until it was time to leave.

[cath-with-a-c]

Nothing and Everything, 6/7

where secrets are shared Wordcount: ~2000

TW: implied/referenced homophobia, heartbreak

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5

2005 The forest looked almost alien from the outside. Robert was walking along the narrow road for a few hours, taking in the all-too-familiar sights from a different angle.

Coming back felt a little bit weird, nothing like the excitement he felt when leaving with dad, eyes wide and mouth agape as soon as they were out of sight of the others.

Can't be a cool guy who gets to go on a mission two years in advance when acting like a puppy. That's a hard rule.

(Even if the only reason you’ve been given this mission in the first place was the fact that, in addition to you being very good at tracking, your father also had a mission in that same direction.)

The road crossed the running track, and Robert had to let a couple of sweaty kids through before continuing on. He could already see the houses and the central hall not so far away.

He was home.

Robert kinda expected things to be different somehow, which was stupid, seeing how he was gone for less than a week, and sure enough, everything stayed exactly as before, adults and kids running around, training and working, going about their daily routines and paying no attention to him. Robert wasn’t sure why it unsettled him so much.

Passing the fighting pit on his way to the central hall, he saw Penny, who was waiting for her turn to spar. As she saw him, her face lit up a little and then she lifted her hand to her mouth, tapping it sideways with her fingers, signaling the need to talk. He nodded briefly before continuing on. First, he must give the report.

William listened to him intently, his pale grey-blue eyes never leaving Robert’s face. Even now, after Robert had officially grown up, it never failed to make him uncomfortable.

As a reward, Robert was given the rest of the day off, even though William mildly reminded him that he would be expected to return to his duties by morning. There was no one home, as dad was still on the mission, so Robert headed straight to the clearing. Once there, he lowered himself to the ground, looking up at the mosaic of leaves, breathing in the air, free from the generator fumes. Penny was bound to show up at some point, and this was the best place to wait for her.

It was weird to have nothing to do, not to have anything expected of him for some time, even if it’s only for, like, twelve hours or so.

Robert’s thoughts drifted back to the mission. It wasn’t anything even remotely dangerous if anything, the person he was tracking was in more danger than him. He remembered the girl, hoodie looking two sizes too big, blond hair pulled into a neat, slick ponytail, how she clung to her dark-haired punk-looking friend at the train station for a few moments too long before saying goodbye.

His mission was to track her through the city and make sure she reaches her new apartment without being followed. He also wasn’t supposed to reveal himself, because to the girl’s knowledge, her friend was the last person from the Brotherhood she’d see for the duration of the mission.

Her name, as dad said, was Lucy Stillman, and she was seventeen and obviously terrified, wrangling the straps of her backpack nervously, and Robert couldn’t help but feel bad for her. He wasn’t privy to the details of her mission, but she clearly had just been kicked out of her previous life, all ties to the assassins severed, and for a long time. He couldn’t imagine anyone handling that well.

Or he could.

Robert closed his eyes and gritted his teeth in frustration. No. He wasn’t thinking about Desmond. Not in a million years he wasn’t. He wasn’t. At all.

There was a tiny, barely audible crunch of twigs and Robert opened his eyes. just in the right moment to see Penny jumping down from the tree, silently, with a fluid safety roll. She was steadily becoming the prodigy her parents wanted her to be, quiet and determined, like a steady stream of water that can bring down even the greatest of mountains.

It wasn’t Robert’s place to feel proud. He still totally was.

He got up, expecting her to jump in for a hug, but Penny stayed at the edge of the clearing, wrangling the amulet on her neck, eyes darting around. The silence stretched uncomfortably, with neither of them moving.

Robert decided to take matters in his hands and spoke out first. “So... You wanted to talk, kiddo?” he asked, sitting down on the log.

“Yeah, I guess,” Penny said, still refusing to look at him. Robert sighed, trying not to feel a little hurt about it, and patted the log.

“Come on then, take a seat and let’s hear it.”

Penny scrambled to sit down, back straight, tense, like a string, almost vibrating, and looked down at her lap, hands wrangling the amulet with a doubled effort. Robert waited patiently, watching her closely. It was so unlike Penny to be this nervous, it must be someth-

“I think I’m into girls,” Penny murmured very fast, breaking Robert’s train of thoughts and leaving him gasping.

“Come again?” he asked slowly, and her shoulders dropped a notch.

“I think I like girls. Like like, you know?” she said loudly, looking both defiant and utterly miserable.

Robert froze, as tears welled up in the corners of Penny’s eyes. He was unsure of what to say, what he wanted to say, what he should say? You are a kid, he wanted to say, for heaven’s sake, you are nine, how can you know already, how-

Penny was staring at him with searching eyes, and Robert realized with striking clarity that she hasn’t told anyone yet. Not her loud, boisterous father or soft and quiet brother, or her mama bear of a mom - he was the first to ever know.

If Desmond was still here, Robert thought with a hint of bitter jealousy, he’d probably be the one to have the honors.

If Desmond was there…

“Come here,” Robert opened his arms and Penny immediately threw herself into a hug, hiding her face somewhere in his chest and weeping quietly. “It’s okay, kiddo, I promise, it’s totally alright.”

This was the right thing to say. It was what he had wanted to hear as a pre-teen, wondering why he wouldn’t even give girls an interested glance when others had.

“Is something wrong with me?” Penny asked, still in tears, voice muffled by his shirt, and hiccuped miserably. “Other girls like boys, why can’t I like boys in that way? Am I sick?”

Robert’s heart constricted painfully somewhere in his throat. “Now, now, kiddo, what makes you say that? There’s nothing wrong with you liking other girls, I promise.”

“How do you know that?” Penny whined, voice pitching higher.

How indeed, Robert thought to himself sardonically, he totally wasn’t a gay man hiding his lack of girlfriend behind a ton of training and work because there was no explaining this to anyone.

He held Penny close and squeezed his eyes shut. Well, a secret for a secret, then.

“Because I was in love with another boy. And he loved me back,” he explained softly, pausing to find the words. “And it felt so good, so right, I… I don’t think something that feels this good can be wrong.”

He fell silent, throat closing, making it harder to breathe, the invisible knife lodged deep in his chest. Things he was relentlessly not thinking about for two years were back.

“I love you. You know that, right?”

Penny squirmed a little in his hold. “Was it Desmond?” she murmured with a genuine interest.

Robert smiled almost against his own will. “Yes. Yes it was,” he answered through the lump in his throat, and some invisible force twisted the knife in his chest. “We were... together for a while.”

With another hiccup, now a little aggressive, Penny pushed at his chest until he let go of her enough that she could look him in the eyes. “But Desmond left. How could he leave you?!” her blue eyes, still full of tears, were shining with righteous fury, and Robert chuckled uncontrollably, before sobering up. He had to tell Penny something, he had to defend Desmond in her eyes.

Now that’s something he’d never thought would happen.

Robert paused, as the knife in his chest twisted again. If it was two years ago, a year ago, a month ago - he’d probably say something unflattering, something as bitter and angry as him, because it was easier to just be angry at Desmond for betraying the brotherhood, for leaving him, for taking away everything he had, because he hadn’t had much…

“I love you. You know that, right?”

“He always wanted to. No, scratch that, he needed to,” Robert said slowly. He never wanted to think of that, never wanted to admit something he knew to be the truth and ignored because it was so much easier. “He never felt like he belonged here, and I… I couldn’t run away with him. This is why he left.”

Penny scrunched her nose in disbelief. “But why?” she demanded, brow furrowed. “He is one of us, why wouldn’t he belong with us?”

“You know...” Robert huffed a little, slightly wishing he had Sam with him to explain something like that, when a metaphor popped into his head. “Did you know that tomato is a berry?”

“Really?” Penny’s eyes went wide like saucers, and Robert chuckled.

“Yes, really. It grows and forms like a berry. But would you put it in a fruit salad?”

Penny went silent for a long moment, chewing on her lower lip and tugging on her amulet absently. “I think I understand now,” she said finally with a sigh, nestling against his chest again. “Desmond is still an Assassin like us, but his place isn’t here because he is different, right?”

“Yes,” Robert said, bringing her close. It was suddenly easier to breathe. He gave a small hysterical, hiccuping chuckle - he never told anyone about this, not a soul and now was two seconds away of crying into the crown of a nine-year-old’s head.

An assassin prodigy, for sure.

“Didn’t it hurt?” Penny suddenly asked. Robert could hear a hint of fear in her voice.

“It did. Like hell,” he agreed, petting her short hair gently. “But you know what? If I could go back right now if I could change everything? I wouldn’t change a thing. Love… love is worth the hurt.”

Saying that out loud felt good, like a huge weight disappeared from his shoulders. What they had was everything he ever could have wanted. It was theirs.

Robert wasn’t sure he could have this with anyone else.

He sighed, rubbing Penny’s back in small, soothing circles. This is what Desmond would do - he would tell the truth, the whole truth as it was. Probably would appoint them both as honorary gay parents of a gay kid. He’d also probably tell Penny something about being proud of her and encouraged her to be proud of herself, but Robert was Penny’s primary caretaker now, it was his job to keep her safe.

He petted her short hair and gently tapped her nose, making her look up at him. ”Listen, kiddo, a word of advice. Be very careful with who you tell your secret. Best if you don’t tell anyone else. Maybe, Sam, he won’t tell a soul, but no one else, especially adults. You get me?” as Penny nodded, he continued. “And you can’t tell anyone about me and Desmond, okay? No one knows, and I’d like it to stay that way.”

Penny gave him a toothy smile and a small salute. “Your secret’s safe with me,” she promised in an incredibly serious tone before diving in for a hug again. “I miss Desmond,” she murmured in his chest quietly, and Robert sighed, feeling a pang of sympathy.

“I know,” he said softly, ruffling her hair. “I miss him too.”

“I love you. You know that, right?”

He knew. ao3 link

[cowboyjen68]

Can you speak more about coming out at work ?

My story—-Sure. I touched on growing up in the 70’s and early 80’s and jobs for kids seemed genderless. I mowed and babysat and shoveled snow and did yard work and no one seemed to care that I was a girl. I had my first real summer job as a Corp. of Engineer intern, helping to build camp sites, trails etc and working at K Mart as the garden care manager on the weekends. All jobs were dirty, entailed lifting and tool usage and no one batted an eye. In the later 80′s and early 90′s I felt pressure to go into a more “traditioinal” career. I really wanted to become a corp of engineers ranger or forest ranger ( I mean.. that uniform–am I right?)

I picked a college in Missouri that was known for creating top notch teachers, even though I really only wanted to teach others about animals and forests and recycling. That was 1986. By the early 90′s and graduation I had given up any of that including teaching and had a BA in English with hopes to be a journalist.  I knew it was a male dominated field but there were a few female reporters about there toughing it out and doing a great job. 

I moved to Iowa City where I went door to door to fundraise for socially progressive lobbyiest.. The Clean Air Act, Canadian Style Healthcare etc. At first I had to be paired with a guy at all times for safey since we worked small towns at night. I outpaced the guys or they quit so I went on my own. I remember we had young black man start on the crew and HE asked me to go with him in certain towns for safety, I was happy to, but is saddened me. To the credit of Iowans, we never had an issue. 

My first real job was my last career. I went to the interview, I was 23 or so and told the boss I was a lesbian.I still had my flower shop job so I was not desperate and I could afford to be idealistic.  BUT i knew I did not want to work for someone who did not like a very important part of me. 

ADVICE:

Research any company you are going to interview with.. Don’t apply to teach at a Catholic School then be surprised when they fire you for being a lesbian. DIve deep.  Barilla Pasta had a brief moment when a CEO blasted LGBT people. The company IMMEDIATELY deposed him and started to bolster their donations and outreach to our community. They hired @mydrunkkitchen Hannah Hart as a spokesperson.. AND yet that homophobic shit still pops up if you don’t read deeper. 

Decide  if a big or small company is a good fit. Small companies can be more relaxed and have a feeling of family:but mom and dad might be ok, what about the kids? There is no line of succession or management in family businesses NO HR so they can pretty much do what they want.   Big companies have more policies in place to protect employees. Basically, you can go higher with problems.

If you work for a small company and you are transgender, have that conversation with the owner. And have some patience with any company you work for. Some mid sized businesses will not have the capital to have more than two bathrooms (often a state law that they must have Male/Female) so they can’t put in a “nongender”one. If they try to make reasonable accommodations, give them time to figure it out. And offer to consult if they need help with understanding their role as you transition or if you already have. 

Be realistic in your career path. NO job is truly gendered, BUT if you are a woman going into many of the trades that are male dominated, be prepared for some bull shit. Most unions are working very hard to remedy that, but not all blue collar jobs are union.  Be aware of the history of any path you choose so you know if you can handle any blow back.  Talk to people in the field..find out and decide what you can deal with and can’t.

Coming out every day  –or not. I have been out at work since the day i came out. I don’t hide it AND if the client and I are going to have an on going relationship, i generally drop some pretty strong hints such as “my ex wife and I “ or my favorite “hey, Im a lesbian”.  If they bail…they weren’t worth your time. If you have a job with high turn over (telemarketing etc) you might have to come out all of the time and it can be exhausting, but I think letting others have a heads up can avoid awkwardness when they find out at the Christmas Party in front of everyone and turns out.. they are not okay with it. A big old rainbow button on your coat or backpack will help.  

If you are a cashier and clients have a high turnover.. don’t bother.. unless  they ask.. don’t hide but they don’t need to know much more than the total on their order.

If you go to or work for a church that is anti gay.. start looking for another job and church now!  Don’t try to change them from the inside. You’ll be out of a job and a church 

Use your gayness for good in the workplace. Talk to management about consulting  on how to improve their diversity in the community and the office.  Often, they are just looking for guidence.  If someone asks you a question with good intent.. be kind and help them understand. 

Lets talk a bit about presentation  IE BUTCH:

If you are in a work environment where there are gendered dress codes, larger companies are often happy to let you dress in the  Dress Code that most suits you, without much problem.  If you work for a company that provides uniforms, request what you are comfortable with.. they might be assuming so if you don’t say anything, you can’t be mad.  

Same kind of thinking for those who are transgender or non binary. Have the conversation about the dress code. Let them know that you might not be wholly comfortable dressing full time like one gender or the other. If they push back, you might have to look for another job, unless there is a line of policies you can follow. 

Sadly, we can still be fired for being LGBT in many states and in others they can fire us for that reason but be stealthy about it.  In this low unemployment time, it is a bit easier to seek a new job.. That is not always the case and there could come a time when staying under the radar might be the only way for you to remain employed and pay your bills. The best defense is to make sure your skills and work ethics are top notch.. even homophobic jackasses will hesitate to fire someone that is making them money or making their job easier. 

Don’t quit a job that is paying your bills UNTIL you have a new one lined up.. then be aware of the lag time in paychecks.–This one courtesy of your Soft Butch MOM!