#but more than anything else i think its just important to note two facts in every situation like this:

[jvzebel-x]

🥂

[nohoney]

touya x drug dealer! reader has been an idea that i’ve been wanting to do for a while. i had thoughts of cute flowing dresses, flutes of champagne, strawberries with brown sugar, and a powdery compact mirror with a credit card lined with white at the edge ♡

Touya hates going to the country club. He hates having to get ready to wear the stupid polo shirt and pressed pants his mother picked out for him. He hates having to take out most of his face jewelry, only leaving his eyebrow piercing as a slight rebellion to irritate his father. It’s all so annoying to him but to be fair—

They all hate going to the country club together.

It’s only an obligation for them to attend as a family. To show up so that Enji’s professional business ties can remain intact if the event is important enough. It’s the only time everyone agrees together as a family. Despite the fact that going to the country club is meant to be a luxurious get away, the Todoroki’s see it as anything but.

With the exception of Shouto who is too young to partake in anything, the rest of the family cope in their own ways to survive an agonizing event that none of them want to attend.

Enji smokes in private with the other men, Rei quietly nurses a glass of white wine as she makes polite conversation with the other wives, Fuyumi and Natsuo discreetly pass a weed pen between one another, and Touya…

Well he’s got his special friend that he knows where to find.

All throughout the club, there’s little signs that lead to a certain someone who exchanges little treats for just the right price. It could be money or it could be secrets or something else entirely, but the exchange given has to be deemed equal in value to what is handed out. There’s bouquets that are found throughout the entire club, all seemingly of the same variations except for one flower that’s meant to point you in a certain direction.

Touya walks through the club, noting the one flower that sticks out in the bouquets as a subtle sign of where to find you.

Following the secret path, it leads him this time to a room with only a single piano in the center and the white curtains drawn over the windows.

It’s a beautiful grand piece of shiny, lacquered black and is maintained regularly in its tuning. No music is being played though, all that’s heard is the tinkling laugh from one of the two people that are sitting on the piano bench. Touya walks with his hands in pockets, leisurely in his step when he approaches you. Next to you is the caddy that often accompanies your father on the golf course, amber eyes lifting to him and giving him a friendly nod.

“Touya, so nice to see you again!” you greet with a warm smile. You’re graceful in the way you stand up from the piano bench, sliding your hand along the caddy’s shoulders as you make your way to Touya. He leans down, used to the customary greeting of kissing each cheek from you. The perfume you wear is new, smelling more like citrus and freesia than the usual florals he’s used to.

Turning back to the caddy, you wave him off. “I’ll meet you later Keigo, okay?”

The feathery blonde haired caddy stands from the piano bench, pressing a kiss to your temple first before making his way out.

“So, what can I do for you today Touya? You wanna be perked up? Or you wanna relax?” You ask him immediately, leaning against the grand piano and clacking your manicured nails against the surface.

“You ever think that maybe I’m just here to see you? And nothing more?” Touya playfully nudged his shoe against your ankle, also noting the clean polish of your pedicure. Strappy white heels are your choice of shoe today to compliment your tea dress.

You’re this vision of a good girl, prim and proper, soft and sweet. All the mannerisms you exude are perfected and practiced, taught firmly from the all girls school that you attended. On the surface, you’re just simply the rich daughter to the man who owns the country club. You’re known to love lounging by the pool or reading under the shady trees by the garden. The older adults love to fawn over you, even trying to set you up with suitors but only if they’re screened through your father first.

Rolling your eyes at him, you flash him a smile that sends the message of ‘yeah right’ before you wave him over.

You lift the piano bench where your current stash resides. It’s organized meticulously of all types of different pills and already measured bags of different powders. Nude colored nails hover over the selection that you know him to always get, but you’re polite enough to ask first for confirmation before plucking the packed substances from their spot.

“The usual?”

Touya pulls money out from his pocket, the same exact amount that he’s paid every single time he’s seen you. “The usual.” he confirms.

You hold two baggies for him, one with two blue pills and the other filled halfway of white powder. Touya takes it from you and waits for you to take out the held out cash.

“Mm, this dress doesn’t have pockets. Can’t take it.” you smile as you shut the piano bench, “I’ll take a kiss though.”

Touya smiles back, pocketing his cash alongside the goodies you’ve given him. “Is that how you’re taking payments today? With kisses?”

He knows you want him, you’ve been wanting him ever since he had fucked you at your father’s birthday party just a few months back. He can still recall the champagne he tasted on your lips, the silky material of your party dress as he pushed it over your hips, the smell of peony and honey spritzed onto your skin when he had bit your shoulder. It was an amazing fuck, one that he thought about going back for, but he liked to see you dangle yourself for him. Beg him with those pretty eyes and try to seduce him with low cut dresses or leave lingering touches that you hoped pull him in.

You shrug your shoulders and play coy, stepping into his personal space to smooth your hands along his shoulders as if you were going in to hug him. “Special just for you, I’ll figure it out with the rest.”

His hand slides along the small of your back to pull you in and close the space. “You are so bad.”

“I happen to be a very good girl, my record shows that.”

“Your records were expunged by your dear daddy.”

“So therefore, I have done nothing wrong.” you giggle, “C’mon, stop teasing me like this. You never want to see me outside of this place. I only see you when you and your family come to the club for an event, and you guys always look so miserable.”

“And that’s why I’m here,” Touya’s hand drops lower, grabbing at your ass and relishing your little gasp, “because you help me get through these aggravating events.”

He teases you, has you chasing after him and keeps him entertained whenever he comes to this ridiculously posh club. You play the polite girl when you’re out among the crowd but he’s always felt your eyes on him whenever the two of you are in the same room together. If you could keep your eyes on him the entire time you would, but sadly you have to get pulled aside from so many people. From your inner circle, to polite introductions to your father’s colleagues, to the ones who want a little something to get them through the night. You carry yourself with grace and good posture, more than any girl that he had ever met.

You’re the classiest little drug dealer he knows.

And like every deal, a transaction has to be completed. So he leans down to kiss you, holding you tightly by your waist to bring you closer to him. You’re so eager for him locking your fingers behind his neck, sighing sweetly that makes him reminisce of that night you had together. The plush of your lips takes him back to that night, back when you smelled more floral and warm, when he had found you lounging alone at the pool and bored from your father’s party.

Surprisingly you pull away from the kiss. “I like you Touya, c’mon we had so much fun together at my daddy’s party. Don’t you wanna have fun again?”

“I never said that I didn’t want to do it again.” Touya points out as he takes a seat on the piano bench, “It’s crossed my mind.”

You pout at him, the gloss from earlier kissed off slightly sticky on his lips instead. Carefully you wipe away the remnants of the gloss from his lips, smudging it on the pads of your fingers. “You’re so mean, you know that? Don’t you know to not make your plug mad?”

“Ah, how can I make it up to you, princess? Please oh please,” Touya wryly plays along with you, “what can I do to get back in your good graces?”

You hold out your hand to him, “Take a walk with me.”

Walking out hand in hand with you, he is led out of the piano room and allows you to take him to wherever it is you have in mind. You pass by one person that you give a subtle signal too, Touya observing how they make their way to the piano room with a key in hand. He wonders how much you’ve paid off certain workers inside the country club to help and protect you.

He admires that about you, not being afraid to exercise your power. Maybe it just comes with being a spoiled brat who can get her record wiped clean when she calls her daddy with crocodile tears. All this wealth at your disposal and the only thing that entertains you is being the unofficial country club girl scout for xannies, oxies, and other treats.

Touya is led to different halls throughout the club, some he recognizes more than others, but not as well as you do. These are your grounds after all. The caddy from before is seen talking to a group of gentlemen, the elders clearly enjoying conversation with him if the boisterous laughter and the friendly pats on his back are anything to go by. Hell, Touya’s father is apart of the group and even he looks to be amused from whatever quip the feathery haired young man doled out.

Keigo must sense your presence nearby as he immediately looks up to see you. You blow an air kiss to him and he pretends to catch it in his fist. Touya can swears that when he looked at you, you mouthed ‘love you’ to him as they passed by.

He doesn’t know much about Keigo, only that he was brought on by you and that he happens to be very charming with many people. Looks wise, he can see why you went for him but Touya hasn’t taken any personal interest to get to know the caddy.

People pass by and give you pleasant greetings, all of which you returned kindly but never paused to have a conversation. There’s excitement running through you as Touya follows behind, wondering where exactly you’re taking him. He can tell by how eager your pace is that gives it away. It’s precious, he enjoys it too much.

You want him that badly.

━━━━✧

Touya’s not sure how he’ll explain to his mother how his pants got so wrinkled, but it’s a thought that gets pushed out of his mind as he smothers you in a kiss. He’s trying to recall his last excuse when his mother questioned how he became so unkept. The answer isn’t quite coming to him; all he can recall is just the adrenaline he had afterwards from fucking you so good. Normally he’s very smooth with his words, lying easily to anyone when it pleases him, but he had gotten pussy drunk off of you and his brain just wasn’t operating the same.

You and that cunt of yours.

He’s almost upset that he’s been denying himself this entire time. There were plenty of nights recalled the sloppy kisses from you, the elegant way you crooked your finger to bring him to you, and when you pulled on the roots of his hair when he had eaten you out. Truthfully he had wanted to chase you just as much when the deed had been done. But as he’s got you on your knees for him, Touya remembers why he decided to not give into you so easily.

“Please Touya? Please, pretty please?”

It’s so sweet when you beg.

He remembers after coming down from the high that arrogant look on your face when he had helped zip your dress back up. That because he had shagged with you then he was surely to come at your beck and call. Instead of giving in, Touya decided that he’d like to see you chase after him. To have you be the one sending text messages or letting late night calls go unanswered, declining private invitations from you to keep you frustrated.

He still has all your voicemails of you breathless and needy, begging softly for him to just want you back.

Your voice is small and pitched, whiny almost as you pathetically tug at his belt as you sink to your knees. You’re practically drooling for it, eyeing his bulge and caressing it gently through the fabric. Christ, he really made you that in love with his cock. “Oh princess, don’t tell me you’ve been pining after me.” He coos over you and tilts your head up to look at him, “All this time?”

“Yes, god yes!” You admit and jut your lower lip in a pout, “I would wait around for you, hoping you’d answer me or even come visit! I’ve always been so nice to you Touya, and you just ignore me!”

It is the spoiled brat in you that’s making you act this way. You’re such a good girl, a nice girl, a pleasant and sweet and pretty girl that there shouldn’t be any reason to give you this awful treatment. That’s how you see it. That you’re the one who blessed Touya with the rare gift of giving him personal access to you so therefore, he should be grateful and be falling at your feet.

Touya has his own pride though.

“Is that darling caddy you’re so fond of not enough for you?”

“I adore Keigo, I love him,” you admit, “but I want you too.”

You want him desperately, slowly crumbling your pride as you beg softly for him. This is what Touya wanted from you. To see you throw a bit of dignity away just for him.

“Yeah? You mean that?” he asks you, using a single finger under your chin to lift your gaze up to him.

“Yes.”

He could probably ask anything of you in this moment if it meant that he’d give himself up to you. Something that you would find worth it for him to finally cure your ache. Admittedly one of his fantasies with you is to use one of your fancy lipsticks to draw the filthiest names on your body and take pictures for evidence. He wants to write slut at your tits, whore written in fat letters on your back, maybe even cumdump on your tummy with an arrow pointing down to your cunt. Touya wonders if that would be too much though.

He wants to demean you so bad, knock you off your high horse and make you look pathetic.

Yet there’s also some desire in him to cherish you too. You are the darling of this club, adored and revered and Touya falls into that crowd too. That it wouldn’t be so bad if you were to wear a dainty necklace with his initial, have you in his car for leisurely joy rides down by the coast, and go on those stupid fancy picnics that you posted on your instagram.

“Need you Touya, need you!” you whine, catching his hand and leaning your cheek into his palm. Aw look at you, trying to look sweet for him, giving him doe eyes and batting your lashes.

There’s some laughter outside, just a small group passing by the room you’ve locked yourselves in for privacy. There’s a little sign that you hung on the door handles: the art gallery is closed. Nearby is a sculpture of a nude woman, crafted by one of the local artists here and was in the club’s newsletter not too long ago. Touya glances to it, finding it beautiful and better in person than in the photo they had taken of it. Art is usually better to see in person anyway-

“Touya!”

You’re not on your knees anymore for him, standing to your feet and smoothing down your dress. Ah, you’re upset now—actually upset at him. “If you don’t want me, then just fucking go. You’ve been playing these games with me and I’m tired!” you huff and try to pick up your heels that you discarded onto the floor when you had locked up the room, “Keep the stuff I gave you, I still won’t charge you for today.”

His hand goes to your wrist and he’s pulling you back to him, wrapping you up in a hug as he hushes you, “Don’t be so upset, it’s not a good look for you.”

“Well I wouldn’t be if you would just look at me!” you almost cry, sinking into his body and making a small noise when he hugs you tighter. “Everyone else wants me, why don’t you? Don’t you want me?”

It surprises him how genuine you’re being. You can’t be this upset, can you?

It makes Touya happy that he can make you this way.

“Never said that I didn’t, princess.” he admits finally, “I like you back, is that all you need to hear?”

He’s given a little nod, feeling your hand press at his bulge again. Your hand caresses his cock through his slacks and you sigh a little, slightly tilting your head up and nosing along his jawline. Touya bites down the smug smile that wants to sprout up on his face—this is how he wanted you, on his terms and not on yours. So now that he’s got you right where he wants you…

“Ow!” you cry out when Touya roughly grabs a handful of your hair right at the root, pulling you just enough to make you look up at him. He holds tightly and coos over your shocked expression, your wide eyes looking up at him with a small sense of betrayal. How could he switch up on you so fast like that? “T-Touya..!”

You pout up at him, your lips tempting him to kiss you.

“You’re not the good girl you make yourself out to be. Like you got everyone wrapped around your little finger, huh?” Touya speaks haughtily, his grip flexing slightly and tugging slightly on the roots of your hair, “Good girls don’t sell drugs out of a piano bench and fuck around with the piss poor caddy that’s so popular around here.”

“Maybe not other girls,” you hiss through your teeth, “but I can.”

You can do whatever you want, it’s how you lived your life. If there are any rules you’ve broken, you’ve always been very good to take care of it yourself mostly. Look at how you flout about, walking around with your pretty heels and waving the help over with darling manicured hands, discreetly handing cash and speaking with the sweetest lilt to get people to do what you please.

Touya snorts, but he does admire you all the same. If he had more drive to do anything, he’d probably be working under you too.

But he hates being inside this stupid country club, which is where you typically are when you’re not traveling or with your own gaggle of friends. This is where you like to work after all, and will be yours to run once your dear daddy passes.

“God, you’re fucking beautiful.” Touya sighs out before leaning down to kiss you. He’s unexpectedly soft considering the tight grip he still has on you, slotting his lips against yours too intimately for someone who also wants to ruin you all the same. It’s a long kiss he gives you, that it even gets the butterflies fluttering inside of his chest.

He pulls back and releases the hold he had on your hair, twirling his finger in a circle to indicate for you to turn around. You present your back to him, getting flashbacks to when Touya had first undressed you. His fingers are cold as he fiddles with the zipper at the back and pulls it down slowly. The dress loosens from your body and you shrug off the thin straps. It falls to the floor in a pool surrounding your feet, and you’re left standing in a little cotton panty that’s lined with lace. Your nipples are perked due to the chill of the room but you don’t bother to cover yourself to retain some modesty.

You’ve been wanting to be like this in front of Touya for the longest time.

You’re given another wordless command, blue eyes briefly glancing down to the hardwood floor. Kicking your dress off to the side, you kneel down in front of Touya once more and watch as he unzips his slacks and pulls his cock through the opening. Your mouth practically waters upon seeing his dick again, so thick and with the prettiest color at the tip you had seen. You’re about to go in when he stops you with a simple little tut.

Glancing up at him, you wonder what he could possibly have to say.

“Don’t get too sloppy, can’t walk out of here with fucking drool stains on my crotch.”

Touya hopes to fuck you in his bed one day, have you squirt on his sheets, and then cum all over your face. But while the two of you are here, the two of you have to be able to come out look presentable. He can’t go as wild as he wants on but he fucking swears that he’s gonna make you fucked out by him one of these days.

You nod in understanding before swallowing his cock into your throat. There’s some dreamy sigh from you as you bob up and down on his cock; you really must have been aching for this. There’s enthusiasm as you swallow all his inches, looking up at Touya and going all doe eyed for him. See how much you wanted him?

He admires your small gags, the way your body lurches when you choke deeply on his cock, but he reminds you again to try to keep your drool from getting on him. Touya wants to fuck your face, he wants to make you cry from fucking your mouth too hard, and even slap your cheek. There’s so much he wants to do but this isn’t the time or place to do any of it.

You’d be pissed off too if he even attempted.

You pull off his cock, a line of drool connecting your lips to his cock still but it gets wiped away quickly by the back of your hand.

Touya grabs your wrist to bring you to your feet, pulling you to the nearest wall to fuck you against. Your hands brace the flat surface, grunting when Touya uses one hand to jut your ass back to him and the other presses your head to the wall. With your back arched, he admires your elegant form under the soft lighting of the art gallery. The lovely still life painting of a bouquet does not compare to how fucking beautiful you are in this moment.

He can’t wait until he can ruin you to tears.

He offers his fingers to your lips, your mouth obediently dropping to lick and spit on them. It tickles a little with the way your tongue drags along his fingers but he doesn’t allow it for long. Touya only needs just enough to finger your hole, even spitting on his own fingers before he does a careful but quick prep after pulling down your panties.

“Oh god… oh fuck…” you mutter, your eyes shutting as relishing in his touch, “Fuck me please!”

“Relax.” Touya is firm in his tone, acting cool and masking the equal desperation that is surging throughout his own body. He wonders if you notice how eager his fingers are to be inside you, biting his lip to force down the wolffish smile on his face when he feels how wet you are. All that teasing before that he had done to you was worth it.

It was worth all of it to lead up to this moment.

His fingers withdraw and he sucks on them, savoring the taste of your slick along his tongue. Touya recalls how he ate you out at your father’s birthday party, driving you wild with his tongue on your clit and the sweet noises you made. It would be nice to do it again.

Your body shudders a little as the head of Touya’s cock nudges against your pussy, a sharp little breath sucked in as the first few inches sink into you. “Fuck!” you quietly curse.

Touya would like to savor this, to take his time and work you up into a sloppy, pretty little mess. To finger your clit until you cry out of frustration and then choke you if you give him an attitude. There’s so many things that he wishes he could do in this moment. But you remind him—

“Please hurry, we can’t be in here for long.”

Because you’ve got people waiting for you. People waiting to eagerly meet you, whether at your piano bench or if you’re needed somewhere else to help maintain your father’s appearance. No matter how much Touya has this vision of what he wants, he knows that he truly can not have you in his own way.

But he’s grateful to get you anyway.

He thrusts in, sinking in smoothly but with a sharp clap of his body meeting yours. Your pussy tightens up on him from the brief shock that is also coupled with a small gasp. His hands grasp your hips tightly and he pounds away at you, noticing how you help with the motion by moving back into him as well. It’s quiet inside the art gallery so all Touya can hear is you and the sound of his skin slapping against yours as he fucks hard into you.

“T-Touya!”

It’s just as sweet as the first time, observing how you occasionally look over your shoulder at him and give him sweet doe eyes again. But this time they’re glazed over, your eyelids dropping as you get lost in the pleasure, relishing in everything that you had been waiting for. Touya wonders how many nights you spent fingering yourself to him, he imagines your embarrassment when he would leave your needy voicemails or nudes in his inbox unanswered, and he dreamt more than a few times of you riding that pretty boy caddy in front of him.

I want to fuck you again.

Those words almost slip out as he reaches a hand to finger your clit. Your knees buckle but you maintain yourself, your own little sounds struggling to be kept in. Touya can feel it already, he can feel you just about ready to snap if the way your cunt is clenching around him is any indicator of anything.

“Please cum, please cum!” you desperately whisper, “Please cum in me!”

I need to fuck you again.

Touya fucks harder to get himself to cum, looking down to see that you’ve creamed all over him. He’s grateful that he pushed his pants down enough so that none of it catches onto his clothes. It’d be nice if you could clean up his cock with your mouth after he cums in you, but you’ve got to come out looking as proper as you can be.

So no hair pulling, no spitting in your mouth, no crying to ruin your makeup, and no marks are to be left.

But if you’re going to beg him to cum in you, you should be able to accommodate a reasonable request.

Touya leans over, feeling his control ready to let go as he’s about ready to burst as he mutters in your ear, “Keep my cum in you, keep me inside you.”

His words have your eyes rolling back, answering him with a jittery nod and a sweet yes hissed into the air. “Yes, fuck yes!”

I am going to fuck you again.

Touya jolts into you one last time, pressing himself so deep that you whine his name. He’s emptying himself into you, spilling cum into that delicious cunt of yours. He chances putting a hand at your throat to choke you, his fingers careful at your windpipe and peering down at you as your orgasm wipes your mind blank and has you going limp that he has to catch you.

And then there’s silence.

He’s holding your body against him, carrying your weight as your mind tries to start back up again. Touya drinks in this moment because he knows he won’t get a repeat of this. He may never get the upper hand again now that he’s given you what you’ve been aching for.

He wants to keep coming back not to just buy off you, but to keep seeing you.

“Good, Touya?” you manage to find your voice and lean back against him, patting your hand against his arms that are still holding you tightly.

“The best.” He answers

You chuckle, nodding your head and still remaining in his hold with his cock in you. He wonders why you haven’t bothered to start making yourself proper—

The door to the art gallery unlocks and it has Touya jolting. All the curse words he knows flash in succession in his mind but you pat your hand against him. “It’s okay, it’s Keigo.”

Sure enough, it is.

The pretty caddy with blond hair is approaching the two of you with two small towels in hand. Had he been waiting outside the entire time?

Touya wonders if every move you’ve made has been calculated. Did you know for sure that he would finally fuck you today after keeping you waiting for so long? And to have your favorite toy waiting on hand to clean you up as well?

He takes the offered towel from Keigo but doesn’t offer a thanks. Touya wipes off the remnants of you off his cock, throwing the towel over his shoulder as he pulls his pants back up. His belt buckle clinks as he makes himself presentable.

“Can we stay and talk for a little Keigo?” you ask leisurely as the caddy places the towel over a wooden bench for you to sit on. You’re smoothing down your hair as you sit down, Keigo kneeling down on one knee to massage your calves. Your dress and heels still lay discarded as you appear to take your time getting ready to leave.

“Just for a little, okay? Hana is looking for you—“ Keigo informs you and laughs a little as you groan at the name. It seems he has the sense to not continue the sentence.

Touya is dressed, his pants not as wrinkled as he hoped they would be. Rei will probably take notice like she did last time but this time, he has enough clarity to give an answer that he knows his mother will not believe but does not have any backbone to question.

He supposes that he should go out there.

He’s got what he wanted anyway.

“See ya princess.”

“I’ll see you out there Touya.” You call to him just as he’s out the door.

Stopping by a restroom first, he puts himself in the privacy of a stall after locking the door. He retrieves the dime bag and admires the scaling of the cocaine inside the plastic. He fishes out a key from his wallet, using the tip of it dip into the bag. He inhales a sizable bump into each nostril, wiping his nose clean before flushing the toilet for the sake of seeming as if he had used the facilities.

He joins Natsuo and Fuyumi, the weed pen offered to him as well but he declines. Just a little further down, Shouto is with two boys that he seems to have made friends with. One of them is blond and huffing his chest while the other has hair the color of an evergreen tree and seems to be the mediator of whatever fuss is going on.

Touya leans back into his seat, just a touch more awake as he tastes the drip at the back of his throat.

━━━━✧

It’s a relief when it’s finally time to leave.

Enji and Rei are side by side, she’s holding onto his arm for balance, teetering slightly to the right but is corrected by her husband as he helps her into the car. Shouto is waving his friends goodbye before going along to Fuyumi’s side. She asks him if she had fun and he answers yes. She is no longer high but Natsuo takes a small hit of the pen one last time to tolerate the car ride.

Touya is about ready to take his place inside the car when he hears his name. He looks back to see you walking towards him and he decides to walk to you so that none of his family eavesdrops.

“Thank you for seeing me today, I really enjoyed your company.” you speak with a bubbly lilt and your smile more pleasant than usual. Of course you’re happy—you and Touya finally fucked again.

“Thanks for having me.” Touya responds a little flatter than he intended to, just trying to keep his family off his tail so that they don’t ask questions.

“Text me later.”

It’s not framed as a hopeful question; you’re telling him to text you.

“I will.”

He means it.

No more ignoring or being coy, not anymore since you got what you wanted and Touya knows that he���s given up the power to you. It was nice to briefly wield it but he knows in the end that you are the one to hold all the cards and have things aligned with how you want them.

Touya avoids his father’s gaze as he gets into the car. He leans back into his seat at the very back of the car, crossing his arms over his chest and feeling the buzz of the coke starting to wind down. He chances looking back and you’ve hung around in your same spot, appearing to see him off.

The windows are tinted and he’s sure that you can’t see him through the glass but you wave anyway, as if knowing that he’s looking at you. He resists waving back.

And as the car starts, someone joins you. Wearing all black and with slightly unkempt white hair, Touya recognizes your foster brother. He’s only seen Tomura around a handful of times—unlike you that leaves a trail to be found, he’s a bit elusive.

The car starts to pull away, Touya watches from his seat as your foster brother leans down to you. One would think that he just leaned down to kiss your cheek but he swears that it was a kiss on the lips. It was hard to tell when enough distance had blurred the interaction.

Not that it matters to him anyway.

Later that night, Touya does as promised and he texts you. All the previous messages in his inbox from you were one sided but now he’ll be expected to reach out to you. Maybe you can meet him at a different place occasionally, take you for a ride in his white mustang or share a sorbet with you in the downtown area.

He knows that he will have to meet you more often at the country club though—it is where you work after all.

Touya hates the country club but he’s only ever gone to have a chance to see you.

[karniss-bg3]

The Tragedy of Faith

So between tumblr and twitter I've read various takes on Kar'niss and what draws people to him. For some it's the monster fucking appeal, for others it's the desire to fix a clearly broken individual. There are in-betweens and of course this is subjective and depends on the person. Act 2 spoilers ahead. Where my personal interest comes from is how good Larian communicated the tragedy of faith and what a cult can do to a person. Kar'niss is a creature that has been broken by not one God, but two. Lolth broke him physically, the Absolute broke him mentally. His entire identity has been lost to a deity to the point he raises her in his speech. Referring to her as "Majesty" and "Queen", two terms you don't really hear anyone else address her as, he has elevated her to his final savior and leader. He also often refers to himself as "we" and "us", cementing him as part of the hive mind rather than holding any individuality of his own. When he does refer to himself as "I", it's mostly to show further loyalty to the Absolute, to maintain a position of importance in his fractured mind. Cults are notorious for targeting the most vulnerable in society as they are the easiest to mold and manipulate to their doctrine. The fact that goblins are one of the main races that fall to the Absolute's influence is telling in that regard, as they are often dismissed by the other races. Kar'niss was ripe for the picking, an easy target to lure into her arms. No doubt he was found shortly after Lolth twisted him into a drider and banished him, he didn't stand a chance.

Not even taking those elements into account, Kar'niss came from a society that is infamous for cruelty and violence, especially toward males of their species. Drow greatest hits include, but are not limited to: -Killing their young if they are not aesthetically pleasing enough. In other words, ugly. -Sacrificing every third born son to Lolth.

-If a male finds the favor of two competing females, it often doesn't end well for the male. The rival woman will kill the male and chuck his dead body into his opponents bedchambers, just for the sake of being petty.

-Love and emotions of any sort are in short supply, if not outright unseen as a general rule. The nature of drow to backstab and seek to rise in the ranks makes it near impossible to be anything other than fierce and domineering.

With these things in mind, it's easy to assume that Kar'niss had a turbulent upbringing and likely suffered untold abuse from many around him. It's not to say that good or reasonable drow don't exist, it's just not commonplace in a Lolthite society. Unfortunately, the game doesn't give us a great deal to go on as far as his past. What little he reveals only happens after he's dead, and even then its really a cliffs notes version. What we do know is that his devotion is intense and unwavering. He's willing to die for the Absolute because in his mind the Absolute are the only ones who care about him. We even see fellow followers talk down to him, dismiss him, and verbally eye-roll the guy. To them, his fanaticism is over the top and they follow the same God he does.

All told, this leads me to the conclusion that Kar'niss has never, or rarely, known true compassion in his entire life. He's been used as a puppet for one deity or another, and likely mocked or cast aside even when he did everything right. It doesn't surprise me that there are folks who desire a romance option, or barring that a side venture to break him free of the Absolute's hold. We don't know if Kar'niss did terrible things in his past, or where his moral compass sits as his entire personality revolves around God. But I'd love to know, and I crave more background on him in one form or another.

I've spent too much time thinking about different paths that could happen in-game. I also understand it's incredibly unlikely he'll ever become a companion. The sheer amount of time and resources needed to give a character a satisfying arc is likely more than Larian can do with other constraints, but maybe we'll be pleasantly surprised. So Kar'niss lovers, platonic, romantic, or everything in-between...I gotchu fam. We stan the spooder bby. Someone get that man a blanket and a nice mug of hot cocoa. And a cult de-programming kit, one of those would be good.

[upon-a-starry-night]

Number Neighbors Pt.32

Natasha Romanoff x Fem! Reader

Natasha Masterlist Series Masterlist

Word Count: 2.3k

Summary:  When you catch sight of the newest trend going around you know you’re all but bound to at least try it, it was harmless anyway. What could possibly stem from something so little?

----

Nat tells you everything about what happened a month ago, including some details you were probably not authorized to know. She seems determined to get you to understand her no matter what and you’re endeared at how important it is to her that you know absolutely everything. 

You take note of the fact that you’re definitely past Avengers Tower and are now in what looks like rural New York. There are more trees and greenery around and you’re curious about where you’re going but you focus your attention on Natasha for now.

You listen to her story diligently and with as much empathy for both sides as you can. You can understand why none of the other Avengers wanted to be the government's lap dogs but you also understood that fear was a powerful thing. You subconsciously rub your healing scar at the thought.

When she finishes her explanation she seems to look at you expectantly, waiting for your response and you take a moment to formulate the right words in your head before speaking-

”You left me with no contact and I’m trying my best to understand your situation but it doesn’t stop the fact that I was still hurt by it” It’s a painful truth but if Nat could share her vulnerability with you than you could do the same.

”I know. I know and I’ll spend however long you need me to making up for it. I’m sorry Y/n. You have to know that it hurt me so much to hurt you.” 

“You’re already forgiven”

”That was fast” She seems surprised and even a little amused at the quickness of your forgiveness and you shrug

“If I'm honest, I forgave you the second I saw you. I missed you, Nat. I’m just glad you’re home safe” Her eyes hold a look so full of admiration that you have to force yourself to look away. If she keeps looking at you like that you’re not sure what you’ll do.

To distract yourself, you urge her to continue her story and resist the need to pull her lips to yours. You hope she doesn’t notice the way your eyes subconsciously go to her mouth when she begins talking again but your chances are slim with a super spy.

If she notices she doesn’t say anything and you have to wonder if it’s due to the presence of someone else nearby. You can’t help but be a little frustrated- would you two ever get a moment alone together? To say what you’ve been itching to say since you found her again?

Natasha tells you about being lonely and drafting argument after argument with Clint. Waiting for the right moment to come back. 

“Honestly we thought it was going to be another half a month at least but I rushed the process.” You might be hallucinating but you’re pretty sure there’s a light blush on her cheeks. “ Even if the argument wasn’t perfect there was something important I had to come home to.”

You nod in understanding, you’re sure it’s not easy being in her position “Yeah, the world needs its heroes” 

She gives you a look that seems to say ‘That’s not exactly the reason’ but you can’t think of any other reasons for her to rush something so important to them. The risk seems to have been worth the reward for her.

Seeing that you’re not understanding, she drops the look and continues with her story “Anyway, with the government facing so much heat from the public combined with our statement they had no choice but to agree or they would be out of heroes the next time aliens came knocking on Earth’s door.”

You resist the urge to first pump the air at the news. Surely that meant she would be around often right? At the very least you could visit her as a friend, even if every part of you was madly in love with her.

Much to your surprise, the car eventually pulls into a large gray and white building in the middle of nowhere surrounded by trees. The driver drops you off at a side door before pulling off to another part of the building and you stare in awe at the huge building with the Avengers ‘A’ printed on every part.

You’re admiring the sheer amount of space around the area but before you have the chance to gawk any further Nat is guiding you inside of the building to be met with glossy cement floors and very modern interior design.

“You’ll have time to look later” You can’t help but read into her words. That meant she wanted you around for longer right? Maybe this whole thing wasn’t one-sided after all.

A robotic feminine voice from above makes you jump in shock and Nat glances at you in amusement at the action.

“Miss Romanoff, welcome back. An unregistered person is accompanying you, shall I register them in the database?” Nat is seemingly unfazed by the voice of God coming from the ceiling as she speaks freely to it.

“Hey Friday, She’s my guest, feel free to register her if you’d like. I know how Tony is” She mumbles that last part but you still hear it anyway.

“Creating guest profile… Scanning… registering Y/n Y/l/n as Natasha Romanoff’s guest” You flinch when it says your name, briefly wondering how it got that information and you turn to see Nat smirking at you.

You glare at her obvious pleasure at your confusion and try to brush off how freaky a voice from the roof talking to you is.

“Sorry I’m not used to rich billionaire tech” You huff a bit childishly and Nat just shakes her head with a chuckle, placing a hand on your back and guiding you to a set of double doors. The two of you are about to enter when you hear the sound of two familiar voices. The same voices from inside your apartment.

Noticing your obvious discomfort, Nat stops and steps in front of you, her hands finding purchase on your shoulder 

“Are you okay?” Truth be told you feel a little shaken but if Nat wasn’t weary about what was behind this door then you shouldn’t be either. Worst case scenario Nat was there to protect you from whoever those men were.

You nod your head, unable to bring yourself to speak and she takes a minute to observe you and rub your shoulder in reassurance before she opens the doors.

The doors lead to a living room space with a kitchenette attached to it and sitting at the island table are two roughly familiar faces. One of them was none other than Clint Barton aka The Hawkeye, and the other was Steve’s friend Bucky. He was still pretty new to the group so you didn’t know much about him but much to your surprise the voices from your apartment were coming from them.

When Clint's eyes land on Nat he grins from his seat and pats Bucky on the back but Bucky’s eyes immediately fall on you, his face paling as he struggles to make eye contact.

Your eyes widen as you realize not only were you being stalked but you were being stalked by a trained assassin and Avenger. What possible reason could he have been following you for this whole time?

“I told you she’d recognize you” Clint has the heart to fix you with an apologetic smile as he talks to Bucky and to your credit Nat seems equally confused.

“What’s going on here, boys?” She narrows her eyes at the two of them and Clint raises his hands in surrender, not wanting to be a victim of her wrath. 

“Well I was watching over Y/n like you asked me to but imagine my surprise when I found someone else doing the same” You take a minute to register the fact that Natasha asked Clint to keep an eye on you and you struggle behind finding it endearing and being uncomfortable.

All this time you were worried about getting kidnapped, you were actually safer than you’ve ever been in your life. At least you don’t have to worry about being stalked anymore as it seems that mystery was solved. It’s a large weight off of your shoulders. You decide to count it as another positive to add to the tally for today. 

Nothing could ruin today for you and the feeling of Nat’s hand settled comfortably on your lower back only further cements that statement.

A sigh draws your attention back to the group and you along with everyone else, stare at Bucky expectantly for an explanation.

“Listen, Steve wanted me to find a way to check up on you but when I started digging the only lead I could find was Y/n” It’s weird to hear him say your name as if it’s familiar and you wonder how many other Avengers know of your existence. “I thought if I watched her long enough she would lead me to you but I wasn’t getting anywhere so when she went out of town I might’ve..broken into her apartment to look for signs”

“-and that’s where I found him when Y/n had the unfortunate timing of coming home” Clint is the only one who seems to find humor in this situation but it’s clear from the look on Bucky’s face they had been bickering about it before you came in.

“I thought she was gone!” Apparently done with pretending you’re not in the room, Bucky turns to you with an apologetic look on his face “I’m sorry” 

You’re not quite sure what to make of this situation but there’s still one question nagging at the back of your mind

“So were you guys in the SUV’s that followed me as well?” 

Shaking his head no, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion at your statement “I prefer to tail people on foot. It’s easier to blend in” His assurance only fuels the confusion in the room and everyone’s heads whip to the door before you can even sense anyone coming. Stupid super spy senses.

The door opens to reveal none other than Tony Stark sporting a guilty look on his face- well as guilty as a playboy billionaire can feel.

“That would be me.” Your eyes widen in surprise at the confession. “Really it’s shameful that neither of you noticed. I think you need more training” He makes his way to the kitchenette, opening the fridge and perusing the contents until he pulls a container of blueberries and begins snacking on them, completely unaware or just disregarding the eyes glaring at him.

“Why were you following Y/n, Stark?” Nat is the first to speak, she seems irritated at the fact that not only one, but two of her coworkers were stalking you and if you’re honest you’re a little irked that they would use you to try and get to Nat. 

He rolls his eyes, clearly exasperated that you aren’t following “Oh come on, you guys didn’t think you were the only ones who thought to check her phone records?” He shakes his head in disappointment. “Clint’s attempt at hiding your phone was commendable but I don’t need the actual phone to hack into the records” he turns to Nat once again “Your little firewall was cute though”

“You’re still on thin ice Stark”

He raises his hands in surrender and places the berries back into the fridge, talking to your group with his back turned as if he isn’t in a room full of irritated super spies and assassins. “Well imagine my surprise when I find out not only is Nat’s little ‘boytoy’ a girl, but she’s also already in my system”

“Wait wait- what do you mean?” It’s your turn to speak up and your head is spinning with all the new information you’re receiving. If you’re honest you’re still craving the nap you were robbed of earlier.

Tony seems to acknowledge you for the first time since he walked into the room, his eyes scan observantly up and down your body before he quirks a brow and you wonder if everyone feels this small in his presence “Friday runs automatic background checks on everyone who enters my elevators. Obviously”

You realize he’s talking about when you and your friend attended his part at the Tower and he gives you a tight-lipped smile when he sees you’ve caught on 

“ I was worried you were an over-obsessed fan or something but a quick little peek into your text messages told me everything I needed to know. So I had Happy tail you but Natty here was nowhere near her girlfriend. So cold of you to completely ghost her like that Nat, really?”

“Good to know everyone here respects my privacy” Nat rolls her eyes and Bucky averts his gaze from the two of you, clearly uncomfortable with the situation he got himself into. 

You can’t help but notice the fact that Nat doesn’t object to Stark calling you her girlfriend and you’re sure you must look crazy as you blush in a room full of suffocating tension. Maybe they’ll think you’re a nervous blusher.

”Yes well-” Tony gestures at himself as if to say ‘you know who you're dealing with’ “Imagine my surprise when you came back claiming you would get the government off of our asses- I thought it was because you liked us but clearly you had ulterior motives.”

Before you can question what he means, Nat huffs and turns to drag you out of the room. You’re grateful to get away from the stuffy tense environment but as you're leaving you turn back to see Tony smirking at you for some unknown reason. His eyes hold a playful but knowing mirth and you wonder if you’ll ever understand what goes on inside his head.

Pt.33

A/n: Imagine Tony Stark reading every text message you’ve ever sent. Mortifying.~ Starry

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[opal-owl-flight]

Can you please tell us more about Neo4. What's their background.

“I need your help.”

Thing is -- I dont exactly own that character! Hes owned by @pastille-pain ... I asked them abt his deets, so here it is under the readmore!

His recruitment by 3 is also under the readmore :) (+more notes abt pre-sploon3)

(From my pal)

My Precious Soy Sauz

Aka croissant

Where he comes from is inkopolis

Lived there his whole life actually. A very sheltered kid due to being raised by grandparents that were in Octaria at one point. So they wanted to make sure nothing really happened to him

An only child but he had his cousin (Nakji, Takoyaki) of the three, he'd be the middle child with Nakji and the youngest.

He's got two friends (three if we count malachite -- the smallfrt) outside of the platoon. Dulce, and (unfortunately) Scara

He dating Melon (oc of mine), we know this

Kinda funny it started as her just battling with him cause he was good but then it turned something more

His time before the platoon was mostly

"Hey are you related to that Sauz idol?" Or "hey, you related to that Sauz wrestler?" It got annoying very quickly so he started introducing himself as croissant and nothing else

Aside from that, if he wasn't turfing he was at home reading or watching shows. Guys a very boring person

He's a pretty big OTH fan...

All this above is still the same even while being apart of the platoon minus the constant questions about his relatives and adding college into the mix

He can do some really cool shit when he's focused (like absolutely demolish competition in turf) but he's also easily distracted so I think you can imagine how that goes

His stress relief is shopping (mostly window shopping, very rarely does he actually buy anything)

He never gets too mad but we know the face if he does

Fun fact, you will never catch this man in pants

Short and anything else

Not pants

The only time he's ever seen wearing pants is in his agent gear and that's cause it's what was given to him.

-----------------------

Heres a bonus too, of 3s recruitment of him!

It was a turfing match, and theyve been watching the krak-on user the whole round. They took note of how he responded to stress, to bad calls, and how he acted on his own following calls he had judged as bad. Once it was over, they followed the team into the lobby.

They stand tall against the doorframe theyre leaning against, presence as cold and as commanding as ever.

(Nevermind that Croissant is taller AND older than them, that squid is intimidating as FUCK)

A whistle, calling the team over.

"|May I have a word?|" they sign, "|Ive been watching your team turf for the last few rounds.|"

Scara, the team captain, spits a "Who the FUCK are you."

3s eyebrows raise in surprise. But they should expect it... casual turfers dont usually know their name.

They went to the smaller leagues for a reason. If something happened to a big name in the scene, and its found that they had something to do with it-

No. No. They mentally shake their head. They are NOT picking this person because they are going to be fucking canon fodder.

"|Who I am is not important. Not much, anyway.

I am... interested in one of your teammates.|"

a nod towards Croissant. "|As a krak-on user myself, his performance has impressed me.|"

"Has he now. You seen our losses?? Are you making fun of us??"

"|He has great potential.|" they sign, ignoring the outburst. "|I would like to...|" theres a slight pause. "|...train with him.|"

"I can train my team perfectly, all by myself. Get lost."

They give a cold stare back. "|Im sure that has worked very well for you thus far.|"

The captain didnt seem to want to back down. 3 continues, ear twitching.

"|This request was not aimed towards you, anyway. Im asking him.|"

"BUT-"

"|I want to hear HIS answer.|"

A test. 3 saw that Scara was pushing him around and the only reason they won the match was bc Croissant decided to go his own way. Will he go his own way now?

"Well I know he'll choose to stick with me-"

"Oh I'd love to train with you I like helping others :D"

"You weren't supposed to say that."

3 nods. "|It begins now. Come. We have much to discuss. And as for you.|"

They clack their beak. "|Captain to captain. You need to listen to your teammates more.|"

-----------------------

Once they are in a more private space...

"|Training is only one part of the deal.

I apologize for not being upfront. This is a matter of national security, and I cannot mention much about it beyond base.|"

I suppose Croissant hasnt heard...or at least, isnt into much of the so-called Hero of Inkadia thats plastered everywhere in Inkopolis? If he was, hed at least start thinking of all that being like... "wait all that media was based on something real???"

(3 mentioning national security and a base may also inspire thoughts of "wow this squid's a fucking nerd...")

"|You are free to reject my request if you feel unfit for the task at hand. But where are my manners? I have yet to formally introduce myself.

Topside, I am known as FOR3VRFRSH. Here, I am the Captain of the New Squidbeak Splatoon.

I suppose youve heard of such a force...? No?|

Mm.

|Just know that we keep Inkadia more or less safe from nation-destroying threats.|"

He accepts the offer... but he also wasn't thinking too hard on it cause he saw an opportunity to step away from Scara and took it immediately.

3 nods, beckoning him towards the sewer line. As they walked backwards into base, they signed to him. "|From this point onwards, you will be referred to as Agent...Four.|"

Theres a very slight waver of their hand as they signed the number.

"|You show much promise, from what Ive observed in turf. Dont disappoint me.|"

"The only person I disappoint is that guy, but he's just very critical-"*

Theres a glint in 3s eye, a look of amusement... "|...Overly critical is putting it lightly.|"

"I promise to do my best still."

-----------------------

3 introduces him as the new Agent 4 and I feel Marie just scrunches her nose a bit. Then sees the look in 3s eye...

To the folks from the regions around 3s home (Callie, Marie, Cuttlefish), theyre not subtle about missing her.

[wonyrs]

rainbird

enha maknaes x fmr gnr fluff, est. relationship warnings cursing, food wc 711 + library #

‘ school life with the enha maknaes! headcanon style

kim sunoo

somehow u two manage to make the uniforms a tad cuter than anyone else

never getting ur work done in any class fs (but u still pass? its the dawg in u) u two sit in the back of the room and have a whole station just for cute instagram posts

"aww babe u look so pretty today" "really? i should say that to u, love :3" cue the deadpanning from anyone in a mile radius of u

LITERAL GODS OF PHYSICAL TOUCH AND EVERYONE HATES IT. on the way to lunch? holding hands. dodgeball in pe? holding on to each other like ur lives depend on it. the weather a little chilly? "let me warm u up schnookums :>"

half of ur friendgroup think of u two as an ideal couple while the other half is done w ur shit (dw they love u)

when exams are coming up, u two hang out at each others houses to help each other with whatever u guys are struggling with

he has full faith in u passing the exams but still offers to calm u down by singing a song, giving u a massage, ordering ur favourite takeout, or anything that eases ur nerves :(

"don't be scared, y/n. ure the smartest girl i know, so theres absolutely zero chances of u failing this test, believe me!"

yang jungwon

ur boyfriend being a former class president and u being the current class president is either a blessing or karma for something u did in ur past life

"oh my gosh there's so many papers to send off, wonnie can you help me?" "nope, i stopped doing this type of work 3 years ago" before getting up and carrying all the stacks himself

when u mess up during a speech, be prepared for endless teasing while being reassured that u still deserve a spot in the council (thank u for fake tears and ur bf's soft heart)

if u have to stay after school to work on council duties, jungwon stays behind w u and uses the excuse that he needs help on his hw to be by ur side

he still takes the chance to lovingly bully ur ass

"u know, if u just refused the offer of being class prez we could be in my room rn watching the mlb movie" "babe be quiet before i actually lose it and start crying"

however, the longer he's with u, the more concerned he gets when he realizes that u leave school (alone) around 7 pm when the sky is getting dark and all sorts of creeps are walking around

he knows ure capable of protecting urself but his 'spiderman' bf instincts tell him to walk u home everyday no matter how late it is and tune out the fact that he'll get spanked by his mama for returning so late at night

"u forgot something, love. i need 10 kisses minimum for walking u this late, uberjungwon needs his payment!"

nishimura riki

fully believing in the 'hates almost everyone at school but has a soft spot for u' + the rest of enha trope for u two

yes he acts nonchalant to anyone's attempts at flirting w him but the moment u compliment his skills in soccer bro startings twirling his hair and encourages u to say more

"ki u did so good! ure like blue lock fr" "really? i did so good guarding right? and making that goal? and dribbling? right?" yappa yappa yapping /j

during free period, he drags u to the court and has u play a 1v1 with him

uses the excuse of 'fixing ur form' to get as close to u as possible and hes not ashamed of it

"yeah so u just position ur arm right here and-" "ok but can u loosen ur grip on my hips please, focus on the training babe " "shhhh"

OMFG i imagine him asking u out after winning a really important game with enha cheering him on at the back (big bros)

it'll be when u congratulate the team outside of the locker rooms when he just grabs u by the shoulders and professes a whole shakespeare typa love confession

his fangirls drop down sobbing the next day when u two walk in holding hands and he's carrying ur bag for u with the dopiest smile on his face

@ wonyrs 2023

note me when i dissappear for a month after my first post, come back with the trashiest post ever and a new layout LESGOOO anyways i hope u guys enjoy this and REMEMBER my requests are open so feel free to ask anything :>

[thosearentcrimes]

Read The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. LeGuin. It rules, what else is there to say? Wonderful book on so many levels.

So, the first thing I'll say is that the concept of kemmer ran so omegaverse could crawl. Now, I do not put these into relation purely because they involve the application of concepts of heat/rut to human beings, which would not be a sufficient basis for comparison. Instead, it's that they are both obviously fujoshi-coded. Now, you might wonder, how can kemmer be a fujoshi-coded plot point if it doesn't involve men and is obligately heterosexual? Well, for the former objection, yes it does. They literally all use he/him pronouns lol. There's a whole bit in the book about it (that's obviously a bit outdated with advances in transgenderism, but still holds up). And for the latter objection, it is important to remember that yaoi, especially but not exclusively in the fujoshi subculture, spans a sort of spectrum from "just two guys having sex with each other", through "seme/uke" to "procreative penis in vagina sex in the missionary position" (currently mostly omegaverse, but obviously kemmer falls into it). But of course kemmer is far more interesting conceptually than even the most creative treatment of the omegaverse concept could be.

The worldbuilding is really fun. The way LeGuin allows the reader to sink into an understanding of an authentically alien-feeling world while maintaining enough predictability and familiarity to keep the reader following along is very impressive. I'm not entirely sure what shifgrethor is supposed to be if it's not another word for honor, but the book and its setting is so charming that I treat that as an amusing mystery rather than idle mystification, as I very well might if I were less positively inclined. And similarly for some other elements of the worldbuilding.

I suspect there is a fair deal in the novel to displease conlangers however. There are terms nominally brought in from the Gethenian languages, but it's fairly obvious each term is generated arbitrarily as needed, for spice, even when there is already an equivalent term. Additionally, one feature that is liable to irritate the sort of linguist so impressed with themselves for rejecting both prescriptivism and Chomskyism that they fail to notice they have become as pedantic and rigid as either of those factions tends to get. That is, at one point the novel makes note of the great number of distinct words for snow. Personally I think there's nothing all that wrong with it. To linguists it is a very important matter whether the phenomena invoked are in fact distinct words or not. For everyone else, the point of the factoid, even when it related to specific human groups, was to establish that there were a people who distinguished a very large variety of kinds of snow, which they had established designations for, and that this taxonomy of snow and ice demonstrates an intimate understanding of snow, ice, and related phenomena. These three claims are all true, the precision of the specific statement notwithstanding. And on Gethen, the precision of the specific statement can be assumed, because it says so in the book. That is not to say that a deeper engagement with the referenced factoid wouldn't have helped the book. Notably, I think it is a bit silly that Karhide apparently only has the one language. Given how politically and physically isolated it is, there should be a pile of dialects and arguable distinct languages floating around. But that's a minor quibble.

An interesting, but not particularly bad thing about the book is how heavily the shadow of the Cold War falls on it. Large parts of the book are quite unimaginable outside its context. That the book was published in '69 is hardly surprising. With the benefit of decades of separation from even the Cold War itself, this becomes far more a contextual curiosity than anything else, however. I am excited to see how deranged the present era will seem in the future, if I live that long. It seems plenty deranged already, to be quite honest. Probably did back then too.

I can warmly recommend reading The Left Hand of Darkness. I suppose there are some people who wouldn't like it. It's done in a fairly particular style, and some people might object to the treatment of sex (and gender and sexuality) sufficiently to reject the book entirely. They can if they want to, but I think they're missing out. Very fun book.

[zairene]

BAD ROMANCE. osamu dazai

* ˚ ✦ synopsis: trying to maintain a relationship is difficult when your boyfriend is apart of the armed detective agency while you reside with the port mafia.

* ˚ ✦ genre: headcanons

* ˚ ✦ author’s note: more dazai content!!!!!

you and dazai’s relationship is complicated to say at the least.

not because of you two, you two were perfect. he was anything a girl could ever asked for in a man.

kind-hearted. spoiled you like hell, and knew how to love you in all of the right ways.

the problem was the fact you both worked for long-term rivaling organizations. this was years of hatred between its leaders and it wasn’t something that could be reversed overnight.

so the both of you found a workaround.

trying to find time in between work days and missions to meet up and spend some time together.

going on dates in public is incredibly risky since everyone knew about you being in the port mafia and dazai being in the armed detective agency.

word spreads like wildfire—so it was best that you both had these moments together in the comfort of your own homes.

these escapades had been a huge breach of trust from both sides, but the both of you didn’t care. you both loved each other, and love conquers all. right?

“dazai—mmm—i have to go…”

he pulls away from your lips, and a dejected look on his face arises. the time that both of you could have together is extremely limited due to your busy schedules. trying to squeeze in quality time has been difficult especially when trouble has been lurking on the streets of yokohama for weeks.

“what is it now?” dazai said, slightly annoyed but a hint of concern laced in his voice.

“mori needs me. he says it’s important.” you started to fix your clothes, and got up to grab your jacket. you heard a small groan slip from dazai’s mouth.

“you sure you can’t stay just a little longer, darling? i haven’t been able to get you alone all week.” he grabbed your hand and pulled you back down on the bed. you frowned. he sounded so upset.

“i can’t ‘samu. you know how he gets, and he doesn’t like waiting.”

“i know that. i’m sure you could come up with some type of excuse as to why you’re a little late, right?” his words take more of a seductive tone as his hand starts to trail down your arm, and both of his hands snake around your waist. you almost start to melt into his touch before realizing what is going on. “dazai—i can’t. i have to go.”

you pull him in for one last kiss, his lips seemingly never wanting to leave yours. you also place one more on his forehead before slipping from his touch and darting out the front door thinking you had already spent too much time with him than usual. he sighed deeply knowing you wouldn’t get another moment like this for a while.

being from two different agencies makes dazai worry a lot sometimes.

he knows you’re more than capable of handling your own, you were literally one of the strongest port mafia members.

nonetheless, he couldn’t help but resent mori for putting you in life endangering missions.

what if one of those times you don’t come back alive?

he wasn’t exactly prepared for the moment he would learn that you were dead because of “unfortunate circumstances.” he couldn’t handle losing someone else that he had to learn to love and care about. not again.

this leads to him being slightly overprotective. sometimes blowing up your phone and asking where you are at, wanting to send someone to keep an eye on you so he can make sure you’re safe at all times.

god forbid that you don’t answer your phone after telling him you’re going on a mission.

sometimes it could be overbearing but you’ve kind of accepted that this is the life you signed up for. you were already constantly under surveillance by mori so being watched by your boyfriend wasn’t something that bothered you anyways.

plus it keeps him sane knowing he could swoop in and save you in any moment the situation is taking a turn.

< 4 new messages >

osamu <3: where are you?

osamu <3: are you okay?

osamu <3: if you need anything please let me know.

osamu <3: you know i would do anything for you. you know that right?

my love: yes, osamu, i know. i’m fine. i’m just a little busy right now. i’ll ttyl later, okay?

osamu <3: alright. stay safe for me please. i love you so much.

my love: i promise i will. i love you even more. 💗

trying to keep things a secret from the port mafia is actually incredibly difficult.

you were quite impressed with yourself until tachihara caught you text dazai during a meeting.

tachihara wasn’t a snitch by any means, so he minded his business and didn’t confront you about it until after the meeting.

he approached you and asked what was the deal with dazai. you tried to act coy, dismissing the idea. on the inside, you were freaking out. you couldn’t risk one of your biggest fears becoming a reality.

he quickly reassured you that he wouldn’t tell and lightheartedly said he knew how to keep secrets. he had noticed you being a little more distracted sometimes and looking at your phone a bit too much.

you remarked that you were extremely relieved. you didn’t give him the entire rundown of what the situation was between you and dazai but you told him enough that would help him understand.

same thing in dazai’s end, but he’s a master of manipulation and gaslighting. not even saying this as a joke, he would legitimately gaslight any member of the ada into thinking they were crazy that he was in cahoots with anyone—let alone someone from the port mafia.

plus, as much as he cared about them, this was for their good. because if they found out about anything, they would make it their mission to end things and he wasn’t thinking about doing that any time soon.

(📦) — BUNGOU STRAY DOGS TAGLIST // @4nthonyyliving @qqingque @lacunaanomymoused @ishqani @tanishtakuroko @yzilology (if your user is crossed, i could not tag you!)

(📝) — TAGLIST FORM :: sign to be apart of the taglist!

[hms-no-fun]

i just want you to know that i read... i think Most of godfeels and had to stop because i was not enjoying it. but i think its really good and i really respect what you do. i think it's all too easy for people to mix up "this is not my cup of tea" with "this is bad and/or problematic". they dont take the time to see the artistry in it, why it is what it is, what it might be saying beyond their surface level read and the kneejerk reaction to it.

i also wanted to note that ive always been kind of scared of sharing fanworks for fear of writing "out of character" - and ive also even been afraid of it in original works. character isn't real and concrete, so anyone can decide something's out of character. so your exploration of that concept gives me more confidence as a writer. i really appreciate that and everything else you do. :)

thank you so much for this message! i'm glad you tapped out rather than force your way through something you weren't enjoying, that's a very mature response and something i wish more folks would recognize as a perfectly valid option. in fact i think pushing through and reading long after you've given up on the material, so to speak, is a great way to wind up angry at a writer for having "forced" you to endure such a trying experience. as i've said before, an author can't force you to do anything. you can close the book any time you like.

as far as the tension of "in character/out of character" goes, i think a lot of people in fandom struggle with the fact that "character" is very much in the eye of the beholder. sub-groups form within fandoms based on identities, politics, sexual predilections, etc, and typically gather around the fire that is their particular interpretation of a character. but from within that sub-group, it's rarely considered "an interpretation" so much as the obvious intended truth of the text. it's that intoxicating mood of finding people who share a perspective you rarely see elsewhere, like oh my god, you GET it, finally someone GETS it!

in homestuck fandom, for instance, quite a lot of people hate vriska and think she sucks, with a vocal sub-group of that sub-group still actively beating the drum that everything about her arc after [S] Game Over is the worst part of homestuck. but i love vriska, and my corner of the fandom very much organized around a full-throated defense of her. some folks think homestuck did tavros and gamzee dirty and that this is a fatal flaw in the text; when i countenance these people, i am convinced we read two very different comics. who's right and who's wrong? there are degrees. i can pull out any number of quotes from andrew hussie about the importance of vriska and the weenieness of tavros, but then, authors love to say things, and there's plenty of stories i love in ways that directly oppose to the authors' stated intent. the debate can never end because we are only ever talking about the version of a character or story that exists in our heads, based on the things that stuck with us when we read the thing (however long ago that was-- which is important because i find a LOT of people adamantly defending their headcanons haven't read the source text in a number of years. as time passes, your perception of the media you've experienced in the past morphs and distorts. someone who was right five years ago can be wrong today and not even notice the difference).

something i've realized in the last year is how much godfeels emerged from a very specific milieu, not just in terms of how we interpreted certain characters but in our approach to analyzing and talking about the text altogether. i believe most of the important stuff in godfeels is "in character" in most of the ways that matter, but it's built on a very specific meta that centered vrisrezi and transness and radical leftist politics and experimental hypertext. really, it's a post-Epilogues fanwork even despite the fact that godfeels 1 predates their release by a few weeks. and i think to this day a lot of homestuck fans haven't read the epilogues but have read fandom posts about how terrible they are (quite a lot of which will have either been written by teens, by people who already didn't like homestuck very much, or by one of the regressive stalkery weirdos prominent in the homestuck reddit/discord), and that misapprehension keeps them in the dark about just how many amazing tools the epilogues introduce to the homestuck formula that exponentially expand the expressive possibilities of attentive fanworks. and it of course elides the fact that the homestuck epilogues are a story about being in your 30s. i think we'll be getting a big re-appraisal of the epilogues in 5-10 years. it'll be the "twin peaks: fire walk with me" of homestuck, just you wait.

so these readers see my version of dirk being an unhinged murderous dick to a newly-out trans woman and go "he would never do that." then if i point at the epilogues, they'll say "i didn't read them/they're not even canon/that wasn't in character either." at which point there's nothing really to say, because we have two completely different perceptions of the text. who's right and who's wrong is almost always infinitely subjective, a circumstance that humans are notable for being very good at handling in a mature and politely discursive manner.

so i've got an "author's introduction" to godfeels baking in my docs to provide some context about the meta this story is built on, the milieu it came out of, that sort of thing. it won't make much of a difference in practical terms, but it'll at least be something i can point to.

in any event, thanks for this message. all i ever want is for people to give it an honest shot. i hope you can continue harvesting confidence from wherever it can be found. it takes a lot of audacity and backbone to be an artist, especially when you have something worthwhile to say. remember that you're not writing for the haters, you're writing for the kind of person, like you, who wants to see more stories like the thing you're writing. they're the ones who'll get it, they're the ones who'll stick around long after the haters have lost interest.

[froglover7789]

Why don't the prequels work as Vader's backstory? It's literally about how anyone no matter how good or well intentioned has the propensity for evil if they let themselves make bad decisions.

Narratively I think it's beautiful and tragic that way.

i think the prequels r actually about how corruption and manipulation and desperation and fear can ruin a person---not just bad decisions :3c and the prequels r consistent with some of the messaging of the originals in that way but that doesnt necessarily mean they serve as a good backstory

heres a handful of reasons why i dont think anakins back story really works with vader:

the originals imply that anakin and uncle owen are blood brothers or at least grew up together. owen sees anakin in luke and this is something that would only really be possible if owen knew anakin well as a teenager. this is also the reason why owen doesnt tell luke about the jedi; he thinks that luke will, like his father, run off to become some sort of war hero and die in the process bc thats what he thinks happened to anakin (some ppl think that owen suspects anakin became vader but i think this is a stretch). the prequels establish that they dont know eachother and didnt grow up together. owen doesnt know anakin outside of what he mightve seen in war/ republic propaganda and thats not very indicative of character. this also raises questions about why obiwan gave luke to owen/ why they took him in in the first place. it makes more sense for anakin and owen to have been very close bc then obiwan wouldve heard of owen and would genuinely trust him to raise his best friends son and owen wouldve cared enough about luke to raise him as his own

what we're led to believe in the originals is that anakin was a powerful jedi who lost sight of what he was fighting for. we're led to believe that he was torn, that the war corrupted him, that war isnt the answer. this works bc the originals r meant to be symbolic of the vietnam war (where the empire would be america) and so this idea of the consequences of war and the importance of peace is a huge part of the originals message. while this is somewhat supported by the prequels its undermined by the fact that anakins fall is mostly bc of YEARS of grooming starting from when he was a kid. this wasnt a normal, good man who lost sight of what was right and crumpled under the weight of a war. this was a man who was the most special of them all and fell bc he had space hitler literally whispering in his ear since before he knew he was a person. thats not the same thing at all! and that steals the implication that vader could have been any soldier, any general and makes his story all messy

side note- leia has vague memories of her mother which means padme shouldntve died in childbirth and should probably have died/ left the twins when they were at least a year or two old. this would also give more reason as to why the lars have luke call them aunt and uncle rather than mom or dad. i think what probably shouldve happened is that padme got pregnant right before anakin was shipped out at some point so he didnt know he had kids before "dying" and she ended up getting involvef in the rebellion/ fearing for her kids safety and had to get rid of em. literally anything else than what happened in canon lol like wtf is dying of heartbreak get OUT

my final thought i can think of rn is that having hitlers right hand man be a slave is just kinda a strange backstory? like i cant be the only one who doesnt like that. idk. doesnt feel right :/

obv most this stuff is just preference and obv you can argue against most of it. the prequels Do technically work but theyre not great backstory. im also not a fan of how the jedi order and all that mess was established. like you can only be one if youre raised one since diapers but luke literally didnt know what the force was until he was 19 but he ended up being one of the most powerful jedi ever??? yeah. makes perfect sense. :////

i do agree that the prequels r tragic and beautiful in their own right. i think the story they tell is good in some ways and bad in others ans one of the ways they r bad is how they tie in with the originals lol

hope this answers your question :3c or at least helps you see where im coming from :33

[koalatysleep]

YYH is actually a LGBTQ romantic tragic comedy masterfully told through subtext

In a nutshell, Canon uses very sophisticated show-don't-tell techniques to SHOW us Yusuke and Kuwabara are in love with each other, while outright TELLING us the narrative misdirection that they're supposedly in love with Keiko & Yukina (almost every canon character mistakenly thinks this & tells us this deliberate misdirection), so much so that even Yusuke and Kuwabara themselves believed the other really is in love with their supposed female love interests!

Canon had to use such show-don't-tell techniques + misdirection in order to sneak in the Kuwameshi Love Story in 90's Japanese mainstream media where there's no tolerance for outright LGBTQ representation, especially in its heroes, but it's been more than 30 years after YYH was first created, so it's a frigging tragedy if people still think the love story is between the two heroes and their supposed female love interests who are barely in the story other than as narrative misdirections, so LET'S PEEL BACK THE LAYERS AND DIVE INTO THE HEART OF THINGS!

As always, proper meta with proof points, screencaps & larger canon context at this Kuwameshi meta series on AO3!

The latest addition to the series Two Steps Forward, One Step Back - Kuwabara's Retreat from Love is now up!

Now on to the post that sums up the romantic tragi-comedy of YYH!

In the above heartbreaking scene where Yusuke silently says goodbye to Kuwabara, Yusuke is wearing the same green jacket that he had on during Genkai's succession trials, when Yusuke and Kuwabara had their Arcade Date as per the Kuwameshi undercover love story meta, and both realized they're falling in love with each other 😭😭😭😭

Yusuke's sartorial choices had gradually matured throughout the series until we saw him wearing more grown up clothes such as this dashing ensemble just before the heartbreaking goodbye scene:

So the sudden reversion to the green jacket is a deliberate choice by Anime Studio Pierrot to tell us that this heartbreaking scene is Yusuke saying a romantic farewell to Kuwabara 😭😭😭😭.

In fact, Yusuke is wearing the exact same ensemble he had on after he first came back to life post car accident (green jacket with yellow vest over red flannel), when the first thing he did was to save Kuwabara's cat in a really sweet romantic gesture as per the Kuwameshi undercover love story meta. This symbolizes how Yusuke is now at the start of another journey just like he was after his first revival post car accident, and foreshadows how he'll promise Kuwabara to check in on him first thing after Yusuke comes back from the Makai, to see whether Kuwa got into the school he's aiming for, as a way to tell us Kuwa'll still be Yusuke's romantic interest even after the Makai separation. But I digress!!

To recap, when we last saw this green jacket, it was when Yusuke and Kuwabara first went all out to show off for each other in peak courting behavior :

This was when Yusuke initiated their first hug!!! Look at Yusuke throwing himself bodily at Kuwabara!!!

This was when Yusuke outright tried to kill Rando for hurting Kuwabara!! It's worthwhile to note Yusuke doesn't actually outright want to kill anyone else, apart from Toguro, because that was the only way to stop him! Both times are because Kuwa's hurt!! (Yusuke didn't want to kill that territory arc Dr Kamiya either, until he was forced to do so to save the entire hospital who were on verge of dying). This tells us that Kuwa is so important to Yusuke that Yusuke would actually break his own moral code (to avoid killing), if it was for Kuwa!!! This is canon literally showing us Yusuke would do anything for Kuwa!

As per play-by-play proof points in The Chocolate Shake Date meta, after Genkai's succession trials when Yusuke started to realize his romantic feelings for Kuwabara, it's implied that he phoned Kuwabara for what he hoped was a 1-1 date, and Yusuke was actually trying to get Kuwabara alone all throughout that hilarious fiasco after Keiko unknowingly became the third wheel by crashing Yusuke's hoped-for date with Kuwabara after she bumped into Yusuke by pure chance!

Coupled with the fact that Yusuke was seriously creeped out by Keiko trying to kiss his unconscious body when he was still a spirit + the fact that Yusuke has never shown any romantic interest in any girl + many more canon proof points that I will add to the meta series in the future + the fact that my canon may have vastly different dialogue/meaning from your canon, I read Yusuke as gay (but feel free to interpret Yusuke as whatever orientation floats your boat, I just personally read him as gay as per the canon versions I got & reasons stated in meta).

Yusuke was always in love with Kuwabara from the start, which is why Yusuke was actually romantically pursuing Kuwabara in The Chocolate Shake Date!

Unfortunately Keiko's romantic interest in Yusuke (which was not reciprocated by Yusuke) threw a spanner into the works and prevented Yusuke from getting together with Kuwabara all throughout canon, as symbolized & foreshadowed by Keiko crashing The Chocolate Shake Date! (sorry Keiko, but I have faith you eventually figured it out & moved on happier!)

Thus, even though Kuwabara got an inkling that Yusuke may not be romantically interested in Keiko during The Chocolate Shake Date and Kuwabara started romantically pursuing Yusuke all throughout the 4 beasts arc as per proof points in Two Steps Forward, One Step Back - Kuwabara's Retreat from Love, Kuwabara mistakenly thought Yusuke was in love with Keiko after Yusuke gave his life to save the girls from Suzaku. That's right, Kuwa's 'prank' on Yusuke about the girls not making it post-Suzaku-fight was actually Kuwa testing Yusuke to see his unfiltered reactions so Kuwa could ascertain one last time how Yusuke really feels about Keiko! Unfortunately Kuwa mistook Yusuke's panic for the girls as romantic love for Keiko,

And so Kuwa Retreated from Love with Yusuke so he doesn't get in the way of what he thought was reciprocal romantic love between Yusuke and Keiko (just like he offered to let them be alone during The Chocolate Shake Date), because that's how nobly and selflessly Kuwa loves Yusuke - he wants him to be happy even if it breaks his own heart,

And thereafter Kuwa throws himself at Yukina as a way to try to get over his heartbreak and to process/express his emotions for Yusuke which he thinks he cannot show Yusuke (Denial & Transference are hallmarks of Kuwa's psyche),

Which prompted Yusuke to think Kuwabara really was in love with Yukina, and so Yusuke Retreated from Love with Kuwa because Yusuke is also a noble idiot in love who wants Kuwa to be happy even if it breaks his heart,

And even though they each got an inkling after the events of the Dark Tournament that the other might be in love with them, and they're almost on the verge of stopping their Retreat from Love with each other, especially Yusuke,

Sensui hit them with his shit and Yusuke sacrificed himself nobly so he can save Kuwa, all his friends and the entire human realm, and even though this is when Kuwa finally breaks through his Denial and his Transference which are hallmarks of Kuwa's psyche and outright admits that Yusuke's the one he's been in love with from the beginning as per proof points in It's All in the Eyes + Denial is a river that runs long and deep meta,

Yusuke was reborn as a Mazoku who is so much stronger than Kuwa felt he could ever become as a human (Kuwa has felt inadequate since 4 beasts arc), that Kuwa felt he could no longer protect Yusuke against the S-class opponents he'd face, and since fighting to protect Yusuke was one of the reasons (in Kuwa's mind) that Kuwa could 'legitimately' be with Yusuke even though he's supposed to give Yusuke space with Keiko (because fighting to protect Yusuke is something that Kuwa could do for Yusuke that Keiko can't), and so Kuwa Retreated from Love again, this time into studying,

While Yusuke knows he cannot afford to lose Kuwa after having lost Kuwa in the Dark Tournament and nearly a second time to Sensui, and at this point in time Yusuke just felt that he's Bad News for the one he loves (Kuwa), he only puts Kuwa in danger and stress, and he can't keep Kuwa safe from an unknown S-class ancestor demon who could take over Yusuke's mind at any time, just like he felt he failed to protect Kuwa against Toguro and Sensui,

And so Yusuke Retreats from Love yet again and goes alone to the Makai in this heartbreaking goodbye scene, even though his yearning and longing for Kuwabara to be with him is SO FUCKING PALPABLE I FELT IT IN MY HEART WHILE WATCHING THIS EVEN BEFORE I CLUED INTO KUWAMESHI!!!!

FUCKING HELL!!!! WHY ARE THESE TWO IDIOTS SO FUCKING NOBLE IN LOVE?!??!??!

And that in a nutshell is how our two idiots in love are in a romantic tragi-comedy all throughout canon!!!!!!

WHAT I WOULDN"T GIVE TO SEE YUSUKE AND KUWABARA GET TOGETHER I TELL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Check out the Kuwameshi Meta Series if you wanna, because I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO SCREAM ENOUGH ABOUT THESE TWO!!!!!!

If you'd like to see them fulfill their romantic potential with each other in fic, check out The Good Fight which guarantees a much more satisfying narrative than the bittersweet one we got in canon!

Not that I'm complaining about canon, because IT IS FUCKING MASTERFUL I TELL YOU! So much so that it managed to sneak in one of the greatest love story of all time under the radar in uber conservative 90's Japan mainstream media where LGBTQ love stories were not allowed any representation, and it did it in such a rich subtextual way that holds up to the most stringent literary analysis and character analysis, that most heteronormative audiences over the past 30+ years since YYH was created still doesn't realize the real love story is between Yusuke and Kuwabara!!!

Now, THAT is Great ART! 😭😭

❤️❤️🌈🌈🐦🐦❤️❤️🌈🌈🐦🐦

[picaroroboto]

I've been wanting for a little while to talk about Pandaemonium, and about Hermes, and what I think these two topics have to do with each other, so here goes. The whole time I was playing the story in Pandae, I kept thinking that I wish I could tell Hermes about all this. For one, because Hermes expresses that he feels he's the only one emotionally suffering, yet here is Erichthonios also clearly going through some shit, so maybe they could find some sort of solidarity together.

For two, because I feel Pandae proves Hermes right in his criticisms of the Ancient world. It's essentially every single flaw of their world in microcosm! Let me try to explain:

To start, let's review Hermes and his problems:

This is from the conversation with him after you show him the Elpis flower changing color for you. He expresses the sympathy he feels for creations, and how being forced to put them down for the sake of the star puts him in this ethical crisis. The entire Ancient world is built around this idea of "for the sake of the star" at the expense of all else, including the lives of their creations and their own individual emotions. Because of this, Hermes feels all the more isolated, as if he's the only one who ever feels bad or questions the foundation of their society.

There is something very, very twisted about the fact that Pandaemonium lies geographically below Elpis, the Hell to its symbolic Eden or Heaven. At the very moment Hermes is crying over having to put down dangerous creations, even more dangerous creations are being kept alive in a hellish gothic prison replete with chains and cages.

As I traveled through Pandaemonium, I also kept thinking "Why is it a prison?" Why does such a place even need to exist? As we find out in Anabaseios, the concept of it being a place to research dangerous creations is a cover story, it's more or less Athena's personal laboratory for her to pursue her goal of godhood. I've seen people praise Athena for being a more shallow and simple villain than Emet-Selch for example, but she's not just a megalomaniac:

"I am no different from our peers" is soooo telling. Her obsession with remaking mankind in her image isn't just a selfish madness, it's the ideals of the Ancients, their obsession with making perfect creations for the sake of the star, taken to it's furthest and most insane conclusion! (also note the irony in her belief that a goddess would remake the species better, when Hydaelyn, the only true goddess in the setting, chose to preserve them as they are. Arguably even making them worse by Sundering).

So Athena takes her duty to the star way too far, Lahabrea sees that she's become a danger to the star for it, and kills her, then cuts off the Hephiastos side of himself - another example of how ruthless the Ancients can be and how they justify anything for the sake of the star. Because the Ancients also place a low importance on emotion, he never talks to Erichthonios about Athena. Feeling neglected by his father and curious about his mother, Erich is lead deeper into Pandaemonium and made even more vulnerable to Athena's manipulations. So even if it was one woman's madness that spawned the action in Pandae, the other flaws of Ancient society serve to perpetuate and exacerbate it.

It's also worse mentioning that for Pandae being a prison for dangerous creations, you actually fight more transformed Ancients and corrupted Warders than you do actual animals. As my brother put it in his own meta, Pandae isn't a case of "inmates running the asylum" as much as it is the power that the Warders wield over their creations corrupting them. Athena is indirectly behind the Warder's transformations, but she also took advantage of vulnerabilities that were already there, like Hesperos's fixation on Lahabrea.

And the same obsession with perfect creations for the sake of the star, the abuse of the power over life and death, continues to characterize the Ancients after the Sundering, with the way Emet and the Ascians ruthlessly Rejoin Shards in order to bring back their "perfect" world. But what Elpis and Pandaemonium prove is that the idea of the Ancient world as a paradise is little more than Emet's grief and nostalgia talking. Hermes may have triggered the Final Days, but I feel the blame for destroying "paradise" doesn't lie entirely on him - his crisis was layered on top of myriad flaws with the world he lived in, flaws he felt he didn't have the freedom to talk about because everyone else believed the world was perfect.

Any world where people can't question the foundation of their society is very far from perfect. A world where people ruthlessly wield power over others, both creations and other people, in favor of a grand goal is no paradise. A world in which prisons exist is no paradise.

If my tone started to sound a bit vengeful there, it's because I sympathize deeply with Hermes, and can't help but feel a bit vindicated on his behalf when I think that Pandaemonium proves him right and Emet-selch wrong. But even after I've spent all this time tearing into the Ancient world, I feel like I have to remind both myself and any readers that the point of the conflict between the Ancient and Sundered world in FF14 isn't to objectively compare them and decide which is better and which is worse. Such pragmatism would be in-character for an Ancient, but we don't have to subscribe to their views. Think about it - even if the Ancient world was proven to be a true paradise, we'd still choose our broken world over it, because returning would cost too many lives, and because we love our world not because it is perfect but because it is ours.

The choice is just made a little easier by all this proof that their world was never as perfect as they said it was.

[ratrrriot]

Dear anon: i fucked up and instead of saving this ask to my drafts, i accidentally posted it halfway through writing my answer and then impulsively deleted it. So now i'll have to answer to this screenshot and ask you to pretend its the real thing ,ok? Thank you for the ask and sorry!!! i'm really hoping you'll see this long ass answer🙏

I actually talked about this idea once on twitter but YES, I do think Shadow would certainly have a reaction when seeing Sonic act all brother-ly towards Tails. Especially because i like to think seeing them could trigger some real -not previously manipulated by Gerald- memories of him and Maria. However,rather than jealousy,i believe he would be emotionally confused and have mixed feelings about this.

Note: This is complete headcanon talk, so don't take this as an analysis of who Shadow,sonic,tails and Maria are in canon! Its fanon interpretation

Don't get me wrong. Do i think he was bitter at first,knowing they had what was taken from him? yes, absolutely,but do i think that could fuel his hostility towards Sonic? not really ,Because i don't think that Sonic & Tails reminded him of his own sibling when they first met, mainly because i don't think Shadow remembered Maria was a sister-figure to him until he started recovering his real memories (cuz i doubt Gerald knew they tought of eachother as siblings when he put the fake memories in him),Plus i don't think he noticed how truly brother-ly the bond between those two was until he got to meet them better,which i believe must have happened after a few games anyways. I believe that S & T's relationship reminds him of his and Maria's now.

I think that more than the angry, hurt person he used to be,he is now just a really broken one who's trying to somewhat fix his relationship with the world and his own existence. So while i agree he must have been bitter about this issue at the beggining,i don't think it was the most prevalent feeling this situation caused him.

I believe that in the present -emphasis on present time cuz we all know he hated him with a passion at the beggining- He's mean to Sonic because their egos clash and he doesn't like his attitude (they kinda make the worst side of eachother come out lol) ,but its clear he actually respects him when it comes to their shared values. Their competitivity seems to be a consequence of his superiority complex and more of a source of entertainment to him than anything else. So I think that when Shadow sees how good of a brother Sonic is to Tails,he can't really hate him for it or say that "he doesn't know what he has",cause he knows he is seeing someone who actually knows exactly how precious the bond they have is. Someone who wouldn't hesitate to give his life to protect his little brother, someone who feels inspired by the support and presence of their sibling. Someone like Maria. (At least the Maria from my headcanons;;). The reminder of Maria's absence is always painful and enfuriating ,sure,but more importantly, i think seeing Sonic like that would make him uncomfortable,because the fact that his rival,someone who he used to hate and has fought so many times, can suddenly have SO MUCH in common with the one person who mattered the most to him,is incredibly confusing. Even weirder is the fact that in this situation,the one who's taking his place is Tails. TAILS of all people!!

And that brings A LOT of questions!!! Especially because these could be clues to what kind of people Maria and Shadow used to be,something very important to him and that he has lots of trouble remembering. Like,when Shad was a younger brother too ,was he anything like Tails? and if Tails wasn't born by Sonic's side and instead was found by him...Could Shadow maybe find someone like Maria out there and form a familiar bond again? Did Maria treat him just as Sonic treats Tails? Could Maria have even more things in common with Sonic and Shadow just doesn't remember???

My guy is NOT ready to answer any of these questions (he might be recovering the missing pieces of his broken memory and healing a bit but he still has a long way to go before he can be anything close to emotionally stable) and i'm not sure if he'd like the answers anyways. Plus,at least in my headcanons,his real memories of Maria might bring him joy and nostalgia but also tons of frustration,not just because he can't remember her at will,but also cause he gets the impression that Maria was hiding a lot of sadness and he doesn't remember why.(I imagine she tried to not bother Shad with the weight of her emotions),nor if he could help her in any way.

At the end of the day,Shadow's backstory and the reasons for his creation are the source of his trauma ,And wether he likes it or not,Maria is one of the main parts of all of that. So sometimes he doesn't know if he wants to move on from her or keep dwelling on the past,which is why i believe being reminded of her always brings him comfort ,but also emotional exhaustion ...

And In this case,he is too exhausted to be jealous of Sonic and Tails for having what he has lost.

ANYWAYS. That's just my opinion on the matter,If you think seeing Sonic and Tail's brotherhood would fuel Shadow's hatred,i think that's valid, especially cause at the end of the day it depends on how you'd think Shadow deals with his baggage,and there can be many interpretations for that.

Again,Thanks for the ask!

[chronicbeans]

Wally Darling with a Restoration Project Reader (part 7)

We just got a letter! We just got a letter! We just got a letter! Wonder who it's from?

TW: None that I know of.

🗞️As you look through the mail with the other two, you begin to notice something. The lettering on them is more colorful than the one on the VHS tape's box. That wouldn't be such a red flag on its own, but the handwriting is also different. In fact, each letter has one of a few different types of handwriting: neatly printed, messily printed with an extremely shakey look to it, or an elegant looped cursive style. The letters all have a different set of colors based on which handwriting there is. The most interesting to you is the cursive, due to it having only two colors compared to the others that have four to five: a metallic gold and a shimmering baby blue, almost as if written with a professional art marker.

🗞️ You want to tell the others about the odd observation involving the VHS compared to the other mail, but they don't know of its existence. Considering how badly Daniel seems to have reacted to watching it, you are even more sure that they shouldn't know of it. You don't know if maybe Daniel just has a weak stomach or if it really is the tape doing something, but you don't want to find out. If anybody is going to be watching it again, it is going to be you. However, you can still let them know of the other observations...

🗞️ "Hey, guys, what if it is three people sending us stuff. Look, the handwriting is different. The coloring is, too!" They look at you as if you are crazy, before taking a closer look. Amy is the first to respond "Oh, yeah! You are right! I really like the cursive, it is so pretty! Whoever it is truly recognizes that it is an art form!" You roll your eyes "Amy, that isn't the important part. It may be pretty, but do you know what this means if it really is three different people? We could be getting conflicting information, or there could be three different streams of information we could focus on! Like, maybe the cursive guy is sending in the book pages, the neat print guy is sending in concept art, and the shakey print guy is sending in promotional material! So much stuff could be going on just because three people are sending it! If that is true, we need to take note of it!"

🗞️ Finn leans back, staring at an envelope "You could be onto something. Nice catch! Alright, let's switch this up. Amy, since you like the cursive writing so much, you open up mail only from him. I'll open up the shakey handwriting mail, and (Y/N), you can open up the neat print. Look for any patterns you find in what they send. Got it?" "YIPPEE FOR CURSIVE!"

🗞️ You begin going through the mail, finding that a lot of the mail this person sends has to do with the characters of Frank and Eddie. Frank and Eddie talking about mail and butterflies. Frank telling Poppy about things. Eddie concept art. Frank concept art. Anything about these two.

🗞️ After some time, Amy asks "(Y/N), you are focusing mainly on Wally, Barnaby, and Home, right?" "Yep. Why do you ask?" She hands you her mail, saying "This guy sends a lotta stuff about those two. Let's switch."

🗞️ So, the two of you switch it up. Now, you are getting a lot of mail about Wally painting, be it Home's walls or Barnaby's paw pads. Barnaby telling jokes, only to be booed for how bad they are. Wally singing to Home.... Wally singing to Home...

🗞️"Do you think we can figure out who sent this from looking around town? Think about it. We live very close to where The Playfellow Workshop was built. Maybe the people sending this have something to do with the people who worked there? How else could they get concept art? Wouldn't it make sense that most of the workers lived nearby, and as such, their families, too? So their descendants might be here in town."

🗞️ Amy chuckles "Descendants make them seem ancient! Their relatives most likely are grandchildren or something. You always have such an odd way of speaking. That's why we like you, though. We all have our quirks. (Y/N) has that weird way they keep staring at anything Wally related. I think they have a crush on the puppet man." You choke on your own spit, coughing as you say "You are such a child, Amy. He is just an interesting character... Let's just... Let's just set up a date to ask around town. I'll ask about the cursive writing."

🗞️ Amy giggles "I know, I know. Sorry. If it makes you feel any better, I have a small crush on Julie. How about tomorrow? My boss gave me the day off." Finn nods "Yeah. I am always free. I work online. I could just get my work done early in the morning." You shrug "Sure. I am free. No job, remember?" Finn looks at his phone "Okay. I'll ask Daniel tomorrow morning if he feels any better. He just texted me that he still doesn't feel good."

[pttucker]

Aaaand we're done! \o/

Well... "done" in one sense of the word since I just did a very quick search and apparently there's like another 140 chapters of side stories and counting. Possibly post-epilogue stuff??? Didn't look too closely since I don't want too many spoilers if I can avoid it. I already saw one vague spoiler relating to 49% Dokja's side story. 😢😢😢

Though at least now with the main novel+epilogues finished all of the mysteries have been wrapped up (as far as I can remember).

I guess I'm still curious about the Library, but even if that's never touched upon in any side story chapters, I think I kinda get it with my theories and how he broke up into many, many different Dokjas and/or was two different Oldest Dreams?

Oh, and the stuff with Dokja & 1863's Sooyoung's blurry faces, I would have liked to have seen that resolved. There were mentions of Dokja slowly getting less blurry that were kinda glossed over but nothing concrete ever popped up for why his face was blurry or if/when it fully stopped being blurry? Unless I just missed some subtle thing?? Like I guess the epilogue did mention that Sooyoung had fun writing in stuff about him being the Ugly King but I don't think she made him ugly, that was just her memories of him?? Either way, poor Dokja. 😭

idk maybe I'm the only one obsessed with things like that. (I literally eventually started a separate section in my ORV Scrivener notes just for all the times Dokja's looks are mentioned in any way.) So maybe it just wasn't deemed important to "resolve"? Or, again, it was but I totally missed it.

Or maybe there's still something about the Library and his looks (and other mysteries I may not be currently remembering) in the additional 140+ chapters out there?

Unfortunately, English translations of Chapters 552+ don't all seem to be in one place, or at least I wasn't able to quickly find them in my first search. I'll keep looking, though. Might just have to cobble together the chapters one by one from various sources. If anyone happens to know where I could possibly find them...

Though I'm honestly not certain if I want to immediately jump into them or if I want to give it a moment to breathe. I actually am a little bit disappointed that I jumped right into the 40+ chapter epilogues right after finishing the main story since I feel like it stole some of the impact from him finding his two separate ■■.

Even if I was really happy to see how they continued living on in the system-less world and how Dokja felt after losing all of his companions to be Oldest Dream. Seriously you never get to see those sort of things after the "happy" ending.

And I did love seeing how it all tied back together with Sooyoung being the author and ORV itself being Dokja's story (which Sooyoung also wrote!) which in turn is our story and getting to see Secretive Plotter and the 999ths again and poor Joonghyuk just not knowing what to do with himself after losing his purpose as a protagonist and him and Sooyoung wanting to save their precious Dokja more than anything and both of them coming to understand Dokja better and so on and so forth.

But if nothing else, I do really want to finally read some fanfiction and otherwise engage with fandom now that the big mysteries are solved. And if I can make one final prediction it's going to be that the top fanfic is some kind of modern, no powers gamer AU or something. Because that's just how these fandoms seem to go. 😂

Anyway, I think it should be obvious from my many, many ORV posts but I really enjoyed the novel! I am very happy that so many things were so well foreshadowed, so much was so carefully planned, so many loose ends were tied up in a very satisfying manner, etc. It's very impressive for such a long, looooong story. I mean, just the fact that you could get inklings that something was up with Secretive Plotter before we even hit Chapter 100 yet not have the reveal come until much later is impressive just on its own.

I guess if I had one complaint it'd be that I didn't quite vibe with the whole "multiple walls to open the Final Wall" thing. Like, I totally was into the idea of Dokja's Fourth Wall being the largest fragment, and I actually thought that Jang Hayoung's wall was pretty clever since it's all about commenting/texting others when Jan Hayoung was created due to Dokja's comments.

But I'm not quite so into the Wall of Samsara and Wall That Divides Good and Evil. Like, I do get how they relate to the story, what with Dokja literally reincarnating into multiple worlds himself and the fact that a lot of Dokja's main theme was that he didn't nicely fit into a box of good or evil. I mean, his literal Modifiers are Demon King of Salvation and Watcher of Light and Darkness. Not to mention, Dokja went through a ton of the novel saying that just because they were evil in one turn doesn't mean they're evil in the next and vice versa, as well as the fact that the had companions on both sides of the spectrum.

So I'm not saying that they just came out of nowhere, but personally I find something to be a little off with them when compared to the other two walls? idk these are just my initial thoughts and I might feel completely different once I re-read the novel and can better appreciate things.

Which, speaking of, I'm debating with myself if I want to do the truly ridiculous thing and start this entire novel over right from the beginning in true Dokja fashion or if I want to be good and maybe give some other universe some love. I was looking at The World After The Fall but...uh...

Not to say that things with tiny fandoms aren't also good!!!

But it does make me kinda side-eye it a little and wonder if I shouldn't just read Solo Leveling...

...or read whatever side stories I can find, aaaaaalllllll the fanfic, and then read ORV all over again. 😂

We'll see.

FYI when I do start reacting to the side stories I think I'll use the tag "orv side story" if anyone wants to block it preemptively to avoid spoilers.

[thrawns-babygirl]

Spicy Crosshair HC's

Some random thots I had that I wanted to subject the internet to. I proofread these but let me know if anything doesn't make sense. As usual 18+ Minors DNI!!! let me know what you think and send some asks or messages if there is anything that you wanna read. I'm just screaming into the void at this point because I'm violently horny for fictional men

Warnings: Overstimulation, Praise Kink, Degradation Kink, Weapons Kink, Dom/Sub, Pain Play. I tired to keep it entirely GN so let me know if I slipped up at all.

This first one is basically not even a headcanon its just canon, I think we can all agree that Cross has an oral fixation. He LOVES going down on you. Time and location don’t matter if he can get on his knees for you he absolutely will. Also loves sucking on your nipples or fingers as well, anything he can get his mouth on.

Hardcore Dom Crosshair is hot af, but what about bratty switch Crosshair you have to wrestle submission from? It’s not an all the time thing, and he definitely prefers being the dom in the bedroom, but every now and then he will let you take the reins after making you fight for them and absolutely destroy him until he’s a panting mess on his bunk.

While he’s on top, he absolutely has a praise kink. Hearing how well his cock makes you feel is a drug to him that he cant get enough of. Knowing that he’s the one making you feel so good, pulling all those sounds from you while his hips piston you into next week has him hurling towards his end faster than he would ever admit. When he’s on the bottom however? Absolutely adores being called horrid names. He’s a little slut and he knows it, and he LOVES being reminded of that fact.

Specifics:

Overstimulation: This man absolutely has a superiority/competency complex and will take any chance he gets to remind you of that fact by making you cum more times than you’re physically able to. Gruff whispers of “come on you can give me one more, can’t you?” and “That’s it no one else’s cock can make you feel this good can they? Come on answer me” accompany the drag of his length through your walls. He however, also adores being overstimulated by you. Watching you gag on his cock after he’s already spilled in your mouth while the line between pain and pleasure is blurring is a massive turn on for him.

Masochism: On that note, he loves a bit of pain play. From your nails raking across his scalp or down his back in an intense session, to impact play while he’s the sub for the night, pain makes his cock impossibly harder. Sometimes while you’re seated on top of him you can dig your nails into his chest and feel his cock twitch and throb inside you as you run your nails down his chest leaving thin red lines in their wake.

Weapons/Gun Kink: The most important possession he owns, literally means the difference between life and death for his squad out on the field, its his calling in life, the reason he was created. So watching you get off with it? Grinding on the barrel or having it inside you is a sight he can’t get enough of.  

Praise Kink/Degradation Kink: Depending on his mood or the scene, this man either wants to be praised for his magnificent cock and performance or he wants to be told he’s good for nothing other than his cock messing up your insides. It’s a bit of a coin flip on any given day, but a good mix of the two sends him into another dimension of pleasure. He wants to be your perfect living dildo.