#but my friend gets us into situations

[sylvieons]

i met tony todd for the second time in my life tonight and it went just as bad as the first time around

"what's your name?" "terri" "kerri?" "terri" "jerry?" "...yeah"

[inkskinned]

you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

[fluffydice]

In all seriousness I think Saiki is a really good example of a person who is passively suicidal in a relatively normal setting. Especially someone who’s young and growing up under poor circumstances (his powers, etc.) Obviously people don’t actually have psychic powers, but a big thing about the media is that at the end of the day, Saiki is really just a normal kid. Having a show where the main character is depressed, yet this isn’t the main focus of the plot or his character, makes it one of the best representations of clinical depression for me personally.

[bisexualbuckl-y]

i can't stop thinking about buck's future reaction to this new eddie storyline in like a best friend way, because i don't know how aware buck is of how much eddie is struggling with his mental health lol, like how long ago was the last time they spoke about shannon in relation to eddie? does buck think eddie is over her death? or maybe not over but at least he's come to terms with it? i feel like we'll see eddie trying to hide this thing with kim and buck will surely know something's going on but i don't think he'll ever imagine something close to what's happening, and then aside from the lying and bad feelings surrounding the situation he'll also feel awful because he just didn't know how this was still an issue eddie was having... yk?

[bunnihearted]

i feel like many ppl dont understand just how unwanted i am and how deeply it affects me... my presence isnt wanted anywhere, and wherever i go i feel like im not allowed to exist. im never anyone's first choice. never the first favorite friend. never this never that. like im never the first choice for anyone, just now i almost got hit by a car bc the driver chose to not hit another person close by. they would've rather hit me than that person. and that's just how it goes for me wherever i go. im lucky when and if im even tolerated. but im not wanted or the first choice or the favorite. that just makes me feel so profoundly alone, like i dont belong anywhere or is even allowed to breathe the same air as everyone else.

[gxlden-angels]

I cannot express the anger I experience being unable to do anything about anything while Christians salivate over the idea of the Israel-Hamas conflict being a sign of the Rapture

[creativesplat]

ok... so Lambert x Eve...

Eve and the two Blaiddyds

Lambert and the two Fierenes

The step-siblings

@blaiddydbrokeit and I were talking, and they have now sent me down the wonderful rabbit hole that is Eve and Lambert getting married and looking after their children.

[heckhellstuff]

My AUs ? Incomprehensible

Here's a doodle dump of bestie Guide Ranging from few days to 6+ months old

I have so so so much more But my dumb little AU went off the rails so badly i have no idea if anyone would listen to my insanity- Guide mentioning she used to lead an Inquisition gave me terminal brainrot and whatever this is crawled out

[erdarielthewhumper]

Caretaker and whumpee pair where there's no love lost between them, but the caretaker still does what they can to help the whumpee is actually a really Good Trope. Like, maybe the characters are rivals, maybe there's something in their past, maybe they just generally dislike each other as people, but one way or another, they're kind of on bad terms.

But whether out of pragmatic necessity (like it's clear they'll have to work together to escape or else neither will, or because as long as the villains are hurting whumpee they're leaving the caretaker alone, or because the whumpee's continued survival just is in some way vital to the organization they work for, or whatever) or simply out of basic human decency, when the two are stuck together in a bad situation and whumpee's badly hurt, the caretaker does what they can to help

[space-mist]

in the wake of everything else it's. also a real damn shame how the community has torn itself apart over all the limbus controversy and other people's opinions. harassment has been at an all time high and it's making people incredibly volatile, and if not that, incredibly depressed. the community before limbus was much quieter and kinder to itself and others, and now people are killing each other over a gacha and the idea that you can't have nuance. someone saying that they want people to stop fighting isn't automatically a project moon dicksucker, and people who are still disappointed in the company and want to cut their ties aren't automatically all haters that want to see the company and everyone a part of it, regardless of what they've done, go under and be destroyed.

it's just. god i'm tired of it all. isn't anyone else tired of the constant warring between people?

[dairyfreenugget]

I could count the amount of original stories of mine that don't have horror elements on one hand and idk what that says about me

[yanderespamton78]

the current state of the arg

sorry guys the art isnt arting D:

(btw if youre confused on why i drew turnip like that i was referencing the picrew he did ages ago bc idk it looked fun to draw anddd i dont like taking reference off real life images)

[ecoamerica]

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The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

[waterfallofspace]

A Word-Filled Update

that no one's asking forrrr~

Sooooo, hiya~ ^^

Realized I kinda dropped out without much word, and wanted to give a lil update to anyone who may care, (and specifically to all the unfilled requests that have been sat in my inbox for months now T~T)

Dropping it under a cut because it gets quite long~ but I'll also TL;DR it with: been a bit burnt out, trying to get back into this, I apologize for all the unanswered asks, and I will be trying to get to the ones I can, but I'll be focusing more on trying to enjoy the process of making content~ Thank you to anyone who's stuck around <3

(Tw for brief mention of mental health/neurodivergencies~ nothing in depth or dark, but just incase anyone wants to avoid that <3)

Nothing serious has been going on, mostly just burn out and a bit of drama in main friend group, combined with free time just being a lot more limited recently~ (not a bad thing, most of it is because I'm getting to talk more with friends I've gotten closer to this past year~)

That said, I've been trying to get back into content, making it, reblogging it, etc, without letting it become all-consuming. I find, with the way my brain works, mostly to do to some wonderful neurodivergent tendencies, I tend to fall heavily into 'all of nothing' mentality.

This shows up in my day to day life, (ie: can't wash the dishes for weeks until I suddenly do them all in one day) and I've definitely noticed it with content creation. Need to write and finish a story in one go, record a wav as fast as possible, always afraid I'll lose that motivation.

But honestly? I love making content on here! And I'm not a huge blog, nor do I care if I am (at least trying not to, if I'm being painfully honest~) but I genuinely love making content. Whether it's just for me, a request that I am hoping one specific person will enjoy, or a story I write with a community in mind, I just love creating~

So, I'm trying to ease my way back into this! Bit by bit, let it be fun, and enjoyable, with less internal pressure to produce as much as I can, as fast as I can, and make it be perfect.

I won't lie and say 'numbers don't matter to me', if I'm honest, they do. But I'm learning more and more how to let it be about the content, and to just enjoy the process~ (and if people like it, that'll be a wonderful bonus!~)

Wooo this is getting so long, I apologize sincerely! Last thing, something I've mentioned a few times previously but never really let myself get into... requests~

I'm so honoured that people care about my content enough to have asked for things, and getting any ask, request, praise, ask lists, heck even just a 'hi!' is honestly the best part of this blog for me!

Buuuut, I definitely worked myself into burn-out before with a "every request needs to be filled and fast" mentality, that led to just... not filling any.

So! I'm going back through my inbox, and deleting some older ones that I don't have a clear vision/motivation for. I apologize to anyone who requested them, though by now it's possible they're long gone~ But I think this will help me not only start enjoying the creation process without feeling so overwhelmed, but also start actually getting more content made~

There are definitely a bunch that I still adore, and am thrilled to get to test out, but if there's one you remember sending, and you really want to see it completed, please feel free to send another ask saying what it is you want done, and I'll see if I can get that going <3

And if you've stuck it out to the end here- uh hi! ^^ I'm sorry this is so long, I'm such a words person, but I appreciate you so much, not just for any support you've offered, but just bothering to read this <3 I genuinely didn't expect most to make it this far, so thank you so deeply <3 and I hope to see you guys around as I start reblogging stuff more!~

[padfootastic]

No, tell us about the dorm parties and Lily finding out about them, pretty please

ooooh a tag question! love these too hehe

okay so. a lil bit of backstory: i had a semi-wild teen life, ykno? like. not as crazy as ~american high school movies but in the context of the country i grew up in? pretty unreal. there were parties and alcohol and weed and a lot of hooking up. so much petty drama. so much irreverence.

point is: i dont like it when teens are portrayed as some pure, untouched, prudish creatures who've never heard of fun or drugs or sex. it just doesnt fit with what i know.

and i fully believe that hogwarts--a boarding school where kids have MAGIC (which really just means unending possibilites)--was a place where the students went wilddd. one of the ways? dorm parties. u have these private spaces for just you and like. 5 others. u can do a shit ton with ur wand. why wouldnt u use it for parties ykno?

so yeah, i think the common room had larger parties after like. quidditch wins and end of exams, but bc its more people and more younger kids, u had to be more careful. dorm parties tho? smaller, more intimate, and ur with the people u know/trust so crazier shit will happen.

the marauders were invited to a lot of them in the girls dorms (and vice versa) and ykno. they went to a lot. bc teen boys and girls. it was all very scandalous--booze and short skirts and shirts unbuttoned off their shoulders and hazy smoke filling the room and lipstick marks smeared over chins and necks and the like--and incredibly fun. just kids being kids, yeah?

lily, though. i've long been playing w the idea that her friendship w snape (and chastisement of james--and sirius, to a lesser extent) came w a substantial social cost. her defending someone who was so shady didnt win her any points and i hc as her a person who hid her insecurity w self righteousness (on top of just. being a bit of an abrasive person) which didn't win her additional favors. so even her dormmates maintained a certain distance and the dorm parties didn't often include her. she only found out accidentally when she went up to the room it was happening in to get a book back and saw everyone buzzed out and dancing and more relaxed (intimate) than she'd ever seen.

it was genuinely a huge shock when she saw the boys sprawled across the room in varying stages of undress (james had a girl and a guy on a thigh each, arms wrapped around both waists; sirius was hanging upside down w a joint dangling from his lips and its a wonder he didnt choke himself to death) and she squeaked out of the room in a moment of severe cultural shock.

it was only later that she worked herself into moral outrage and just. hurt-filled anger type stuff, ykno? her roommates sort of had to give her a reality check in that moment. the marauders only blinked at her in bemusement, amused at her high-handed attempts to manage them.

[robo-dino-puppy]

a good birb

[jinxofthedesert]

I recently got out of a toxic and unhealthy friendship on here. I had to be the one to end it; hopefully the other party decides to leave it be and not smear my name due to realizing it wasn't healthy and that I had to end it because of it.

Basically, if someone makes you start feeling like shit, from your life, to your goals, passion, and everything else, then it's not a rewarding friendship. And it's hard to sometimes see it in the moment. Because you want to think the best of peeps, especially ones you care about.

But sometimes the healthiest thing for You is to know when to put your foot down and end it, even if it hurts you and them. At the end of the day, you matter and what you're doing matters and no one has the right to make you feel shit for who you are when you're just living your life. Life is hard enough without adding peeps who make you feel that way or question how you live when, prior to them showing up, you were happy with all of it.

To anyone in a relationship or friendship like that, I hope, like me, you are able to take a stand and realize you deserve better.

I knew I was being manipulated but not how much until I talked to others close to me. I pray you all never have to experience such a thing because damn, you know you did the right thing, but feel so fucking guilty at the same time.

But your happiness matters. You matter. Please remember that.

[ecoamerica]

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!