#but never fear it’s my number one priority again !!

[astrobei]

mid-apocalypse movie night

[goldsbitch]

You texted...

Y/N and Lando are going through a rough patch in their relationship. Not really on speaking terms. This bad streak ends when there is a massive spider in her bathroom.

angst, one shot

The moment she spotted that creature sent from hell, everything else went out of the window. The dinner in the oven, the fact she was planning on doing a late night session in the gym, the fact her hair was still wet from the shower. The fact she and her boyfriend Lando were on "not speaking" terms.

Y/N was absolutely terrified of spiders her whole life and was never able to over come the fear by getting rid of them on her own. Lando was the one who always ever so kindly rescued her, he overtook this role her neighbor, who overtook it from her mom, who Y/N had trained to react immediately when she heard a very specific scream.

Now she was standing in her apartment, alone with nowhere to go, since her job was to stay frozen at one spot and stare at the creature, in case it moved, and not really sure who to call for help. Her best friend was the first option. Normally, it would have been her boyfriend, but something was stopping her from doing that.

"Come on, come on, come on," she whispered as she dialed her best friend living close by. "Pick up, dammit."

Finally, the tone she was praying for. "Hey, girl, what's up?"

No time for chit chat. "You have to come over now, immediately."

Her friend noticed the immediate distress and tuned herself in. "What's wrong?" she replied, sounding as she was ready to dial the police.

"There's a spider situation going on in my apartment."

"Uhm, I see," she said, more relaxed now, but still taking it seriously.

"It's huge, with like hairy legs and shit. You have to come over, now. We have a deal, remember?"

Her friend was equally terrified of mosquitoes, so they agreed that Y/N would deal with those while spider duty fell on the other lady. This has happened many many times before. Usually ended up with a nice girls evening. Ever since Lando appeared in Y/N life however, the emergency calls stopped.

"I thought Lando was around this week?" her friend asked curiously. "Not that I'm trying to get out of this, but I'm sort of like an hour away from you, so..."

Y/N let out a frustrated sigh. "Fucking hell...Yeah, we're not exactly speaking at the moment," she admitted.

"Wow, that's a first!?" her friend said, clearly surprised. "Why?"

"Look, I'd love to chat, but are you coming or not? There's no one else and I'm not calling Lando!"

"Yes, yes, I'm getting in the car, just let me say good bye to my friends here, we're having a picnic," she replied and muted voices of disapproval came from the background.

Y/N felt guilty about doing this, but she'd dropped everything she was oing for her friend many times, answered phone calls in the middle of the night even though she was an early bird. They just had this kind of friendship.

"Drive fast, please," she said, still stubborn and not about to call Lando.

//

Y/N sat there staring at the spider for good ten minuted before her friend called again.

"Ok, I'm in the car, you can talk about Lando now, keep me busy. I'm going to pass over the fact you and your boyfriend are fighting and I have no idea," she said unapologetically.

"Figured you'd be mad about that. Yeah, he's been acting like a bit of a dick..."

"But you're not broken up, right?" her friend asked, slightly worried about her favorite couple.

"No, I don't think so. I hope so," she realized, the spider in the corner becoming lesser of her problems.

"And what seems to be the problem? Did he cheat?"

"No, not that I'm aware," she replied without thinking.

"Did you cheat?" her friend asked, ready to support her in anything.

"Jesus, no. It's um...I dunno, we've just grown a bit distant. Lately it feels like I'm like at number 50 of his priorities list. It's always only racing, Quadrant, promo event this and that."

"That's shitty, yeah. Would you like to be included? I know you hate things like promo events and such."

"I do! But honestly, I miss him so much and frankly I'd like to be more included in his life somehow. Especially now that I have more time in my life."

"Does he know that?"

"No?"

Her friend let out a deep sigh. "Hm. You have to untangle that. It would be stupid to break up over that."

"Yeah, I'd hate that," she said, panic setting in.

"Text him to come. To save you from the spider. It's a nice excuse and good test. To see if he cares."

"I'm scared. What if he does not respond?"

Few moments of dramatic silence. "Well, at least you'd know."

"Yeah. Ok. Sending it." Y/N quickly typed something up, trying not to overthink it.

"What did you text?"

"Can you come over asap? I need help with a spider. It's urgent."

"Nice. Now you'll see what he does."

They stayed on the phone together for good half an hour. Catching up and distracting Y/N from the fact there was no text from Lando coming her way.

//

A doorbell rang.

"You're here already?" Y/N asked her friend, surprised by her ability to drive this fast.

"Nope, still very much far away. Did I hear a bell? Do you think it's him?"

"I dunno. I'll mute you and if it's him I'll hang up, ok?"

"Gotcha."

She opened the door with a heavy heart. What if it was not him?

But it was. Flustered Lando stood there without saying hello. The two shared a pain-filled look, neither of them enjoying this no contact streak they had.

"You came..." she said finally, ending the phone call.

"You texted..." he said dryly and in full macho mode entered her apartment without being let it. "Can you point me where?"

"That corner," she simply pointed, flushed with emotions. Happy that he came to rescue her, sad about his loveless tone and scared of what was to come after. She watched him from afar, as he skillfully took the spider and threw it out of the balcony.

"Don't say anything about him knowing his way back, please," he said, hinting on the countless debates they'd had before about Lando not wanting to kill every spider they'd encounter.

The air suddenly went very heavy. Lando casually headed to the kitchen to get himself a glass of water while trying so hard to make eye contact with her. The last time they spoke was few days prior - and it was not a nice conversation. Lots of built up emotions got out, frustrated speeches made and confusing sentences jumping one after another. Ending with Lando slamming the door on his way out.

She had no clue where to start. "So, how have you been?" she asked, not sure she was ready for his answer. He finally looked at her, and then with an annoyed eye-roll went back into staring out of the window.

Y/N threw her hands up in the air as the familiar feeling from few days ago kicked back in. "Ok fine, sorry I asked. Thank you so much for your help, truly appreciated, but if you hate being around me, just say so that we can-"

"We can what?" he cut her off, not having any of that.

"I don't know, you tell me!...I'm getting lost at trying to read you," she admitted, not even trying to hide anything from him at this point.

"I'm sorry," he said slowly. "I don't think I listened to you," he sighed before continuing, "Or more like did not hear what you were saying."

The validation felt rewarding. But she feared what would come next.

"What I heard at that moment was you not respecting my lack of time and the fact that things I'm involved in are important to me."

She took a breath and planned on interrupting him, which he noticed and tried to stop.

"Let me finish, please. But thinking about it, I figured that's not the case, and you were simply pointing out that I've been putting off spending time with you. Which you're absolutely correct. I figured since we've been going to strong lately, this would be fine. But truth is I hate this distance it created. I feel lost, uneasy and unable to focus," he blabbered something, which felt like he might have even rehearsed on the way to her. "What I'm trying to say is - do you still care enough for us to fix it?"

It felt vulnerable, raw and maybe even uncomfortable to have these kinds of talks. But this is ultimately what cements a relationship.

Feeling like he managed to destroy some of the wall they'd put up, she took few steps towards him.

"Lando, of course I do. It's not a rare event that I imagine our future life together, as a couple and one day potentially as a family. Never had this feeling before in my life. Please, let's figure out a way how to prevent the distance from happening. Things have changed now, the relationship has too. We've been together for almost two years. And my love for you has only grown."

He finally smiled, relieved that they seemed to be on the same page.

"I came right from the tennis court, left everyone behind. Would you like to go there with me? Hang out with the Quadrant squad for a bit and then have a nice dinner somewhere? I just want to spend this evening with you."

"And the night hopefully," she teased, trying to ease the mood.

"Always the night, it was absolutely horrible, knowing you're so close to me, yet having to sleep without you."

She closed the distance between them, embracing him into a hug. They bodies were more than familiar with each and it felt right to be that close. Definitely better than each of them standing in a different corner of the room.

"We still have to talk about this. I don't want our love to slip through by our fingers," she said, letting her anxiety out.

"We will. Tonight, we'll come up with a plan. Can you join me on few races later this month?" he asked, hoping for a positive answer.

"Of course, my love. I have to buy new clothes though, the cameras are savage."

He chuckled, relaxed now that he did not have to worry about having lost her. "Yes, they are."

She later call her friend to thank her for dropping everything and driving to save her, even though it was not needed in the end. Her friend was more than happy that she and Lando seemingly found the way back to each other.

She also admitted that she turned back the moment Y/N sent her text to Lando, knowing that this guy would come running anytime his girlfriend asked for help.

[feelbokkie]

When reader is touch starved

☀️Feelbokkie M.list☀️

genre: vomiting inducing fluff

pov: 2nd person

description: different scenarios that happen when reader is touch starved

pairing: bf!skz x reader (Chan, Changbin, Hyunjin, Felix, Seungmin, Jeongin); bff!Minho x reader; bff!Jisung x reader

warnings: swearing (what's new)

word count: 2,274 words in total

©feelbokkie (2023) — all rights reserved. reposting/modification of any kind is not tolerated.

방 찬 (Bang Chan) (414 words)

You checked the time on your phone again, seeing that not even a minute had passed. You sigh, looking up at the arrivals. Chan's home, the green "arrived" sign next to his flight number lets you know that. He's been on tour for several months and this is the longest stretch you've gone without seeing him. Without breathing him in. Without holding him. Without him.

You stand in the crowd of other people waiting for their loved ones to exit the terminal. Chan managed to get on a flight back earlier without the fans finding out. As much as he loves the boys and his fans, he just wanted to come home to you as soon as possible. To avoid the fuss that he knows will come when the rest of the boys come home tomorrow. How the company will deal with the drama that will ensue when he isn't at the airport with the others later isn't his problem. His priority is you.

You stand up straight as a crowd of people pour out of one of the terminals. Your eyes scan the crowd trying to find Chan. You know he's probably going to be wearing a hat and mask to protect his identity, both black no doubt. Unfortunately for you, a few people are wearing black hats and masks, making your job a bit more difficult.

Your eyes lock on familiar ones, who have yet to discover yours. It's almost like a movie. You're almost positive you're hallucinating it, too many sleepless nights in anticipation for today. It's almost like a single spotlight fell from the ceiling and lit him up, you couldn't see anyone other than him. Before you even realize it, you're making a mad dash toward him, dodging everyone in the process. You've never been so coordinated in your life. You take Chan by surprise as you tackle him, causing him to freeze in fear at the sudden contact. You're not stronger than him, but the tackle and the fact that he wasn't paying attention caused him to lose his balance, sending you both tumbling to the ground.

"Holy, shit, that scared me," He breathes.

"You're home," You mumble into his chest, squeezing him tighter.

"I missed you too, but if you squeeze me any tighter, you're going to break my ribs." He laughs, hugging you back equally as tight while the two of you lay on the floor of the airport, passersby staring at the two of you.

이 민 호 (Lee Min-Ho) (416 words)

To be fair, this is entirely your fault. You convinced your best friend, Minho, to go out with you to a local fair, promising that it wouldn't be too crowded because of the time of day it was. What you hadn't accounted for was the fact that today is a holiday. A minor one that allowed people to not be at school or work.

It was so crowded, that the two of you could hardly move, let alone avoid getting separated. You know that Minho rather stay home or be in places where there aren't a lot of people. But you two hadn't seen each other in a while and thought this would be a cute hang-out.

"Shit," You mutter under your breath. You and Minho got separated again, and a crowd of people pushed their way through the two of you. You're turned around and have no idea which.

"Minho!" You shout as you try to pull your phone out of your pocket. Surely he'd notice that you weren't behind him anymore.

You freeze when you feel a hand wrap around your arm, pulling you towards them. You turn to face Minho, who has an annoyed concerned look on his face. He pulls the two of you to the side where it isn't too crowded.

"Are you okay?" He asks, quickly checking you over while still holding your arm.

"Yeah, I'm fine." You breathe, relieved that he was able to find you quickly.

"C'mon, you said you wanted to go on the Ferris wheel, right?" He asks, sliding his hand down your arm to your hand, intertwining your fingers together. Your breath gets caught in your throat and your brain stops functioning at the simple actions.

"Huh?" You question, not fully being able to process what just happened.

"The Ferris wheel. You still want to ride it, right?" He quirks an eyebrow at your reaction.

"Huh? Ferris...wheel? Oh, y-y-yeah, I want to go on the Ferris wheel." You stammer, trying to get your brain to function again.

"Did I break your brain because I'm holding your hand?" He smirks, amused by your reaction.

"N-no! It's just hot and crowded!" You can feel your face going red from embarrassment.

"I might have to rethink kissing you later. It might kill you." He grins, having fun as you squirm.

"W-what? Kiss?" You stammer again.

"Nothing," He laughs and pulls you back to the crowd, "Let's go to the Ferris wheel before the line gets too long."

서 창 빈 (Seo Chang-Bin) (154 words)

"Ah, what's this?" Changbin asks as you suddenly walk into your shared room and climb on top of him.

You just lay your head on his chest and close your eyes. You had a rough day at work, you're not even sure why everyone was being rude to you. It drained you mentally and physically. All you wanted to do was be with Changbin.

You don't answer him, you just nestle deeper into his chest. He shuts off his phone and drops it next to him, gently rubbing your back, waiting to see if you are going to answer. He quickly assesses the situation, realizing that something must have happened and you just need to hug him right now.

“We don’t have to talk about yet it if you don’t want to. We can just lay here like this, just relax in my arms.” Changbin whispers into your ear as he squeezes you tighter.

황 현 진 (Hwang Hyun-Jin) (175 words)

"Are...are you dying?" You ask, freezing as Hyunjin suddenly comes behind you and wraps you in a hug.

"Hm, not that I know of," He hums, nestling his face in the crook of your neck.

"Then why..." Your voice trails off.

It's not that Hyunjin is never affectionate with you. He is, just minimally. You love skinship--hell, you'd probably live in Hyunjin's skin if he let you. But you also know that he's not big on physical touch unless he's the one initiating it. Even then, he's been more affectionate towards you lately.

Knowing that he doesn't necessarily love physical contact, you've limited how much and often you touch him. The amount of times you had to physically retrain yourself the past few days alone was a bit much, but you don't want to come off as clingy and scare Hyunjin away.

"You love skinship, right?" He mumbles against your neck.

"Yeah, I do, but you don't so--"

"If it's you, it's alright. I'm not forcing myself or anything so don't worry, okay?"

한 지 성 (Han Ji-Sung) (225 words)

“Y/n, over here!" Jisung whispers. The two of you were playing hide and seek with the rest of the boys and you couldn't find somewhere to hide.

You crawl into the ridiculous hiding space that Jisung found, which was fine for him alone but it incredibly small for two adults. You were impossibly close, you're sure he could hear your heart beating. You have a crush on Jisung, you have for a while. Being alone with him is a dream, you just wish you weren't a nervous laugher.

"Y/n, please shut up," He whispers, worried that Chan will find you guys quickly.

"I...I can't help it. You know I g-giggle when I'm nervous. Do you remember the h-haunted house?"

"Oh, Y/n is around here?" You hear Chan call from the outside.

You can't help but giggle more, and slightly louder. Jisung quickly covers your mouth with his hand and pushes your back against the wall, effectively shutting you up. Your eyes widen and you feel the heat rushing to your cheeks.

"Please, please, please shut the fuck up. I can't lose, I don't want to pay for dinner again." He whines softly, you can imagine the puppy dog eyes he is almost definitely giving you right now. If he couldn't hear your heart beating earlier, he can probably feel it now.

이 용 복 (Lee Felix Yong-Bok) (425 words)

You lay supine, staring at the ceiling. You've been tossing and turning for the past couple of hours trying to sleep. You are exhausted, both mentally and physically, but sleep refuses to come to you.

It's a problem with how dependent on Felix you are, you know that. Since you two moved in together, you've gotten accustomed to falling asleep in his arms or him falling asleep in yours. You didn't realize how bad it was until he went on tour and you couldn't sleep the entire first week. You were more prepared this time, you bought sleeping pills and made sure to take one a little while before you needed to go to bed. Unfortunately, you ran out of pills the night before and forgot to buy a new bottle before heading home.

You grab your phone and check the time. It's 2 a.m. but you know it's midday in the city where Felix is currently. You try to think back to see if he mentioned about having a busy schedule today. You dial his number, remembering the boys have the day off. The dial of the phone rings in your ear as you turn and stare at Felix's empty side of the bed.

"Y/n!" Felix shouts excitedly into the phone. You can hear some of the other kids in the background.

“Hey, Lix,” you can’t help but smile at the sound of his voice. You talked to him yesterday but it feels like forever.

“What are you doing up? Is it like almost 3 a.m. back home?” He asks, a bit of concern in his voice.

“Yeah, couldn’t sleep.” You leave it at that. If you told him you missed him or that you couldn’t sleep without him, he’d feel guilty for leaving you home while he was on tour.

“Hm, you tried the usual tricks?” He asks softly.

“Yeah. They’re not helping. Ran out of sleeping pills and it's way too late to get more.” You explain.

“Do you want to just talk until you fall asleep?” He suggests.

“That’d be nice. We don’t get to talk much lately too.”

“What do you want to talk about? Ask me anything,” You put your phone on speaker and put it on Felix’s pillow.

“How was your day?” You yawn. Felix’s deep voice already soothing your mind.

“You can ask me about anything and you want to know about my day?” He chuckles.

“Yeah. Tell me what you did.”

“Anything for you. It was really cold when I woke up so…”

김 승 민 (Kim Seung-Min) (236 words)

You shut the bedroom light before climbing into bed, knowing full well that Seungmin needed the light to see. Part of you feels bad about it, the other part hopes he trips.

You two got into a heated argument a few hours ago and were currently not speaking to each other. Since the two of you are stubborn, neither of you were going to sacrifice sleep by not sleeping in your bed.

You hear Seungmin stumble into the room, huffing in annoyance when he sees that you turned off the lights while he was in the bathroom. A few seconds later, you feel the bed dip down as Seungmin climbs in. Not long after, you feel Seungmin's arm snack across your waist.

"What are you doing?" You question, confused.

"Shut up and go to sleep." He mumbles, pulling you closer, your back pressing into his chest.

"But why are you--"

"You and I both know you'll have trouble sleeping if I don't do this, so shut up. I'm protecting my peace, I don't need to hear you complain about how you couldn't sleep." He mumbles angrily against the back of your neck.

You're glad the lights are off and he can't see your face, or else Seungmin would see the head rushing to your face right now. How can you stay mad at him when he's still looking out for you despite how mad he is.

양 정 인 (Yang Jeong-In) (229 word)

"Are you not feeling well?" In asks, a look of concern suddenly taking over his face.

"I-I'm fine," You stammer, flustered by In's hand taking yours under the table.

"You just turned three different shades of red in the last 5 minutes."

You are at lunch with In and the rest of the kids. Your schedules have been hectic for the past few weeks so you hardly had time to see any of the boys, let alone your boyfriend. In isn't big on public displays of affection or skinship, which you're fine with. You never want to push him. But when Jeongin's hand snaked under the table and grabbed your hand, you couldn't help but blush at the innocent interaction.

"I'm just hot," You take your free hand and fan yourself, trying to quickly return to your normal skin color.

"It's the dead of winter, what are you talking about?" He frowns, releasing your hand. He quickly cups your face and presses his lips to your forehead. You know he's just checking to see if you have a fever. He's done it enough times over the course of your relationship that he's just checking on you.

"Hm," He pulls away, still concerned, "you don't have a fever, but you got even redder. Should we go home?"

"Oh look, Y/n is all red because In kissed--"

"Shut up, Hyunjin!"

—

Buy me a coffee?

—

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[jeonqkooks]

a fluff drabble ; 37 & 50 w the supernova couple:(

ways to hold the sun | jjk

SUPERNOVA SERIES MASTERPOST

pairing: jungkook x f!reader prompts: "you wrote me a song?" + "this isn't adrenaline, i want to spend the rest of my life with you." rating: PG genre/warnings: established relationship, idol au; fluff, itty bitty angst (for the supernova peeps?! shocking :o); kissing, implied smut, jk rides a motorcycle, unedited bc yolo 🤷‍♀️ word count: 1.8k note: thank you so much anon for sending in this request!! i'm almost a year late to this but like i always say, better late than never right? lol. anyways, this request gave me the chance to wrap up their story with a neat little bow. i can't believe this is the last thing i'll write for supernova :( this series will always be one of my personal favorites and i'm so emo that i'm ending their story with this drabble. but, they'll always have a special, special place in my heart and i'll always love them <3

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

How do you hold the sun?

The answer is simple.

You hold him with two arms wrapped around his waist - tightly, because it feels like he holds your life in the palm of his hand. In more ways than one, he does.

You hated that motorcycle that he loved so much, calling it unsafe even though he isn't reckless at all. He may be a daredevil sometimes, and the most adventurous compared to his hyungs, but Jungkook would never neglect his safety. He returns home to you every day, that's always his number one priority.

He'd convinced you to let him take you out on his motorcycle today, to this spot he knows just outside of the city to watch the sunset together. You'd been against the idea at first, but it was a losing battle and you were all too aware of it. Once he'd whipped out a pout and big puppy dog eyes, you knew you'd cave.

Now, as you sit behind him, holding onto him like a koala as the bike moves smoothly along with the wind, you're glad that you'd agreed to let him do this. The city grows smaller, and it feels like all of your worries seem more and more insignificant - manageable, like something you could easily overcome - by the second, until the whole skyline can fit into one single frame.

It feels nice, hiding in plain sight. The ridiculously chunky helmets that sit securely on your heads shield you from any and all outsiders. You can squeeze him as tightly as you want even at the red lights, and he can hold your hand without the fear of being recognized. To anyone else, you're just two lovebirds and a license plate. Two people in love. It's the most normal thing in the world.

When you arrive at your destination and he takes off his helmet, the radiance of his grin almost knocks you off your axis. It's ever-bright, filled with so much happiness that could make you cry for some reason. You'll never understand how a person can be the entire universe, so wonderful and spectacular and magnificent, but he is. He always will be.

There's that one poem that you hold close to your heart. Sometimes, when you retrace the words in your mind, you think it must have been written for you and him. "We deserve a soft epilogue, my love," it reads. "We are good people and we've suffered enough."

You aren't sure if you're a good person, but as he kisses you with so much love that must rival any other love in all of history, you think you do deserve a soft epilogue.

Your mother often says that good things should be repeated three times.

You and him.

You and him.

You and him.

How do you hold the sun?

You hold him with your fingers intertwined with his, a soft smile on your face, and dozens of polaroids scattered across the floor.

"Just one more," Jungkook says, reaching for the purple Instax again.

"Stop!" you laugh, lightly pushing him away when he tries to point the lens in your direction. "You've said that twenty times in the last two hours."

This is a new hobby that he's taken up. Ever since Hoseok gifted him the damn camera, it's all that Jungkook has been doing. To say that he was obsessed would probably be an understatement. He snaps photos of everything and nothing, of his meals whenever you draw a heart on his plate with the mayonnaise, of the crescent moon outside the window at night, of himself as he makes silly faces at the camera.

But most of all, he takes photos of you.

He keeps so many of them in his wallet that the stack of polaroids dedicated to you is thicker than all of his cash, which is to say that there's a lot. He keeps one in the pocket of every coat, because he said every time he reaches inside for warmth and finds a piece of you there, it makes him smile and forget that he's even cold at all. You'd nearly melted when he told you that. It was so earnest and pure that it almost made you feel guilty for ever thinking there'd come a day where the adoration he had for you could fill anything less than the sky.

"Please?" Jungkook pouts, before pulling you closer and kissing your cheek sweetly. "I need just one more for my new coat."

At this point, it's not a matter of having enough polaroids for his coats anymore. It's a matter of having enough coats for his polaroids.

You roll your eyes with playful endearment, but you allow him regardless. It shoots pure serotonin through your veins when he grins. He lets go of your hands to hold the camera, immortalizing the grin that you mimic, a contented sigh leaving him as he takes the shot. He tells you he loves you afterward, like it's such a privilege to be able to have you at all.

No one ever warns you that when the sun holds you back, your heart will feel so full that it might just stop beating altogether.

How do you hold the sun?

You hold him with your face tucked safely in the crook of his neck, his arm around your body, rubbing odd patterns on your bare back.

You're both calming down from the hour-long session of twisting around in the sheets on a lazy Sunday morning, your only witness being the sunlight that creeps in through the slit between your curtains. Jungkook hums a tune that you're unfamiliar with, and the soft vibration of his chest almost lulls you to sleep again.

"What song is that?" you mumble, your eyes fluttering close.

"Your song."

"Hmm?" You don't quite register what his answer, you already have one foot in dreamland already. "My song?"

"Wrote it for you."

And suddenly, just like that, you're wide awake.

He presses an absentminded kiss against your hair, like this is all just common information.

"Huh?" You push yourself up to prop your upper body on one elbow, looking down at him with a slight frown. "You wrote a song for me?"

"Yeah," he chuckles at your reaction. His other hand that isn't touching your back comes up to brush your hair away from your face, tucking it delicately behind your ear. If you weren't too focused on a different issue, you would blush, even though this is something he's done a million times. "I wrote a song for you."

"Be serious."

"I am serious."

"How?" you ask, unbelieving. "When? Why?"

"What do you mean how? It's literally my job," he laughs, pulling you flush against his body again. "Why? Because I love you. When? I started writing it after we first met."

"Jungkook," you breathe, full of teary-eyed affection as you press a kiss to his jawline, his neck, the top of his shoulder, anywhere you can reach while he's embracing you this tightly.

You repeat his name three times, then three more, then three more, until you're a broken record and he has to shush you with a kiss, one that makes your knees buckle even though you're already lying in bed.

If the world wanted to take him away from you again, you really wouldn't be able to survive. So you hold him desperately, thinking that you never want to let him go. Praying that the world will let you keep him this time.

How do you hold the sun?

You hold him with all your might, even though you're blinded by how bright he shines. Even though he's the source of all life, and you're just a flickering light that can be snuffed out at any moment.

You're always the first person that he looks for. He runs to you at full speed, picks you up with his arms around your waist and spins you around despite your flushed cheeks indicating embarrassment as everyone - the staff and his members included - chuckles fondly at the sight. You can still hear the crowd out there chanting their names, still buzzing with postshow excitement. Jungkook is buzzing too, that much is clear.

You know he misses this - the stage, the fans, the bond he shares with all the people that adore him. It's in his eyes, the way they sparkle so brilliantly that could put stars to shame. If you were any good with words, you would write whole novels about the light in his eyes.

He presses you against the wall while everybody else carries on with their business. You suppose they're used to this from the two of you. The staff hurries to clear the set, moving equipment from backstage to the vans outside so they could finally wrap up an exhausting day. The boys shuffle wordlessly to their dressing rooms to wind down, to bask in the high that only the stage could bring them.

Jungkook peppers kisses all over your face, his nose bumping your skin as he moves from your forehead to your cheek, the bridge of your nose, to your jawline, to your chin, to your lips. You giggle quietly as you let him shower you with affection, the palpable love seeping through every kiss.

That is, until he says something that makes you stop breathing completely.

"Marry me."

You stare at him, dumbfounded, as you try to make your brain work again. His chocolate orbs stare back at you, and it feels like looking at the night sky on a cloudless night to find the entire galaxy twinkling, smiling down at you. It's unfathomable how you could be loved by someone like him.

"Marry me. Please, marry me." he says again, his fingers caressing your face like you're the most precious being he's ever seen. Before you can open your mouth to answer him, he continues, "This isn't adrenaline. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

You know you're nothing compared to him who lies in the center of the universe. You will never be able to shine as brightly as he does, not even a fraction.

You know you're nothing compared to him, and yet, he revolves around you regardless. To the rest of the world, you're insignificant. You're merely a soul among billions of others. If you were to disappear one day, you don't think a lot of people would care.

But to him, you're everything. You're the reason he exists, you're his favorite person in the whole wide world, you're the only one who will ever have his heart, you're his soft epilogue. He doesn't dim his light for you, and he should never have to. Instead, he lifts you up. He makes you shine too, even if it's only the two of you who see it. It's only you and him, but it's more than enough. It's the only thing that matters.

So, the question remains: How do you hold the sun?

The answer, in the end, is simple.

You hold him with love.

all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 25.06.23]

[harrysmimi]

Harry From Bar

Synopsis: One where YN is conflicted but Harry is there to support her.

Ps. Mentions of abortion and religion pls do not read if this is smth bothers you. And if you are planning to read it, keep an open mind and spread no hate. This is just a work of fiction and NOT real life.

More of my work

YN was sat on her bed in complete and utter and disbelief with her head in the palms of her hand. It is horrible.

"YN!" Her friend, Brielle yelled from her bathroom. "Who's is it? Do you even know?"

"Of course I do, I do not sleep around!" YN defended herself, crying like a baby.

Look, don't take her too seriously. YN doesn't judge other people and their life choices or even let other people do the same in front of her, but she is certainly not the one who would be going out of her way to do the same. She was completely sober when she slept with this guy (so was he) she met at the bar and had a nice two hour chat with. One can say, she let her intrusive thoughts win that day. They very carefully used protection during the entire time.

She quite took on a liking on him. He was charming, adorable and caring most importantly. It is something she was drawn towards. They even exchanged their numbers before she left his place, he texted her to make sure she reach home safely.

His last text read: Perhaps we can meet again?

And her reply was a simple yes to which he reacted with a red heart. And was the end of it. Yes she went down into spiral of the weird betrayed feeling for the first time from someone who she started to grow immediate romantic feelings for. It went on for about a month, she couldn't bring herself to text him. Now this is the third month.

You see YN missed her period for the second time and it did not take her long enough to put two and two together before she was calling her best friend over. This is something serious and had her going down yet another spiral that she had to take two days off work. That isn't like her at all, she loves her job and she hardly ever takes a day off from work. The entire point of her moving to a completely different country was her work.

"Then who is he?" Brielle asked, pulling YN back down to earth.

"The guy I met at the bar three months ago." YN let out a sigh and quickly added, "I haven't dared to sleep with anyone else, before you say anything!"

"Oh okay!" Brielle sighed, "do you want to keep it?"

"I, I, I honestly don't know." YN shrugged, "I mean I am certainly not ready for it and my grandfather and dad and brother will have me buried alive if they find out."

"Who cares about them!" Her friend sighed again and sat down next to her, "it's your body, do whatever the fuck you want to!"

"I know Brielle, but..." YN stopped herself, "I need to talk to him. But I don't know if I should call him or text him."

"Duh! Call him over!"

"I am scared, what if he thinks I am just to trap him? I quite liked him, we were going to see each other again soon but it never happened." And it started, YN cried her eyes out for next hour and half.

It's not a challenge for her to bring a human into the world and raise it, she is definitely financially capable of that, but she is not mentally or emotionally capable to do so. She still has so much to grow in her life and having a baby was further down her list of priorities, most probably after marriage.

Truth is, YN had been sulking around for about a week think the same and a pink plastic stick just brought her fears into reality for her. She's been contemplating her entire life since then.

"He is not going to think that." Brielle assured her friend, "if he does, we're going to kick him to the curb where he belongs and move on."

"It's not that easy." YN shook her head still sniffling on her tears. "I, I, I am going to text him, I can't talk right now."

"Okay, let's do it." Brielle urged her and YN finally texted the guy. Just by the start of the morning three days later she got a reply back.

Harry from Bar

- Hi, this is not Harry.

- I am Jasmine

- This number doesn't belong to him anymore I recently got this :)

That made her heart drop to her stomach. And she was all alone. Her best friend had gone home. It was luckily a Sunday for her and she had to go grocery shopping, even though she didn't wanted to she's still got to eat. She still got her reusable bag and drove to the grocery store.

She has been asking her pregnant cousin what she can eat and can't eat indirectly because she has no idea what to do.

It's just so confusing!

She picked out mostly junk food which she found appetising, which contained chips, ice cream, bread and butter and some other healthier options too. Lately she has been too exhausted to even cook herself meals for the whole day.

Just as YN was loading her bags in the back seat of her car she saw the guy from the bar walking into store with a girl. He had his arm around her shoulder. Now YN knew who it was, the girl was his sister. He'd shown her the pictures when he was sharing his weekend's experience with her that night.

Just as she was about done he saw her and approached her excusing himself from his sister. Luckily she had her sun glasses on to hide her swollen eyes from crying so much. Though her red cheeks and nose would be pretty evident.

"Hey, YN!" He chirped.

"Hi." She smiled shutting her car door.

"Haven't seen you in a long time." He started, "actually, let me rephrase that I wasn't in town for a few months so couldn't get back to you."

"Oh, I, I texted you yesterday." She started, still sniffling from her tears from three hours ago. "You changed your number."

"Oh, yeah." He smiled sheepishly, "I lost my phone and we couldn't find it. They gave me a new number, also lost all of my contacts. You sound sick, you alright love?"

"Yeah, I, uhhhhh, I actually wanted to talk to you about something."

"Yeah, what is it?" Now she had his undivided attention, which intimidated her even more to approach the conversation.

"Not, not here please. Can we like go somewhere private?" She could hear her heart thump in her ears.

"Okay, you wanna go to mine?" He asked.

"I, I have groceries in my car. It's not that urgent anyway." Harry could tell it is indeed something urgent and she is making excuses.

"Then we can go to yours." He announced, "I will tell my sister she can take my car, we can go to your place and talk."

YN just nodded in agreement. He just walked over to his sister for a minute meanwhile YN got herself a few seconds to gather herself up. She's been going through a shit ton of emotional turmoil and, balancing a very demanding job with very little food and nutrition was never a challenge for her but with a growing fetus inside in a different story. Her lifestyle works for her, but it is not working while she is clearly pregnant. She knew she shouldn't have gotten that ultrasound there it's fucked her up emotionally even more.

"Okay shall we go?" Harry came back to her.

"Mhmm." She nodded. She some how managed to drive to her place and Harry carried all her groceries upto her flat for her. "You want water? Or tea, or coffee?"

"Water is fine, thank you." He nodded.

"Please, have a seat." She insisted as she reached for a glass. He watched her as he sat on the bar stool behind the kitchen counter. The flat with a loft bedroom was small yet incredibly lavish and luxurious looking, maybe it's the way she has it all set up. He also noticed she haven't taken off her sunglasses yet. She sat the glass of water in front of him and walked around the country. "I will be back, just a second." She went into her bedroom upstairs and came back down with a with a blue folder and without her sunglasses.

"You alright YN?" He asked, now clearly worried seeing her red puffy eyes.

"I don't know how to tell you," her voice cracked as she tried not to cry but her eyes were pooled up with tears.

"Hey, what happened?" He was quick to get off his seat and go hug her the first thing. "It's okay. It's okay, I promise!" She wrapped her arms around him. "You can tell me, that's okay." He caressed the back of her head as she had her face buried in his white shirt.

"I, I, I am pregnant and I don't know what to do!" She cried out in muffles, "it's yours I promise!"

"Hey, hey, hey I want you to take in a deep breath for me, okay?" He guided her through the breathing exercise to get her to calm down a little. She just looked at him with guilt and hope in her eyes, "look, I trust you. Look at you, you've gone all pale come and sit on the sofa." He walked her to the sofa quickly fetched her a glass of water. "You need time to gather yourself?" To which she nodded.

Harry sat there in silence. Well, this wasn't the first time for him to go through a scare like. Certainly his past girlfriends went through similar situations but all of those have turned out to be negative, this time it turned out to be positive with a girl he knew only for two hours.

Well, he was quite smitten by her. And to be honest he really couldn't stop thinking about all these months, if it weren't for his phone getting lost he would have asked her out. He even visited the same bar a couple of time hoping to see her there, but he didn't and he eventually had to go on the tour in America. He'd nust gotten back home a two days ago and now he's gotten the news that he could potentially be a dad now.

But, whatever YN wishes to do. She seems very conflicted to him. If she choses to not keep it, he'd support her. If she choses to keep it, he'd support her anyway and step up to be a present dad regardless of where his relation with her leads.

They both sat there for what seemed like to be hours but in reality it's just been ten minutes. "Can you please fetch that folder?"

"Yeah." Harry quickly got up and brought her the blue folder, from which she took out a few reports.

"Got these pictures yesterday when I went for the appointment." She showed him the grainy ultrasound pictures, a seahorse looking silhouette was the cutest thing ever, it took his breath away.

"Oh, I see them!" He whispered, pointing his finger to the obvious human fetus silhouette. His eyes pooled up with tears.

"Yeah." She nodded and they both sat in silence again, or at least Harry could feel his heart thumping in his ears.

"Oh my god!" He took in a deep breath to face the conversation, "you want to keep it?"

"I don't know." She looked down at her hands in her lap, "I don't know honestly. But if you don't want to have to do anything with this matter, I understand."

"Don't say that." He moved closer to her carefully, "I want to be there to support you, no matter what your decision is. At the end of the day it's your body you're going to house a human for nine months in."

"Do you want it?" She asked, "don't give me a diplomatic answer please."

"I do want a baby, I want to be a dad one day or other, yeah. I think I'd want this little one." He admitted after yet another silent pause from him. "I don't want you to base your decision on what I want YN."

"I know." She nodded, "I know I will be a bad mother, I am not emotional there to be a parent plus I'd have to deal with my family for getting pregnant like this. But I don't want to get rid of it, I know this will sound stupid but I don't think that's the right thing to do with an innocent life. I don't want to kill it."

"It's not stupid, your feelings are valid." He took her hand in his into a gentle hold, "if you don't feel ready for it, I say don't do it. Even though you'd have plenty of time to prepare, but if you really think you can't, then you shouldn't have to."

"You are not helping." She started sobbing again.

"Hey, can I hug you?" He asked carefully approaching her to which she responded with just curling up next to him, he wrapped his arms around her. "What do you want now? And be honest with me, please."

"I want to focus on my career." She shared, "it sounds mean, but I am really not ready. It's going to be a big conflict as well because I am not married I just don't know what to do!"

"Hey, first off all, your feelings are not stupid." Harry corrected her, "you don't want the baby?"

"I don't know, but I know if I have this baby I won't be able to be there for him or her. I am not ready!" She sobbed again.

"Hey look, you don't have to." He announced, "you want me to go with you?"

"You will?"

"Of course, I would!" He squeezed her in his arms gently, "look you shouldn't feel guilty for putting yourself first. It's very important you that, yes it is difficult to make these kind of decisions. But put yourself first."

"Okay." She nodded, now slowly pulling away from him not wanting to make things awkward. "Did the condom really broke?"

"You want me to be honest?" He asked with a guilty look on his red face, she nodded, "I don't know honestly, got in bed immediately after we cleaned up. I swear I would have told you."

"I trust you." And to be fair she does, the man was asking for consent at every little thing. She was also fully present in the moment.

"Did you eat something?" He asked just to get a nod of her head in answer in disagreement, "you want me to make you something? Did you get pasta?"

"Yeah." She sniffled.

"I'll go make you some pasta." He placed a delicate kiss on her head before he was off to kitchen.

"Wait, you can cook?"

"That's sounds surprising doesn't it?" He chuckled, "well, turns out I can't keep a cook as I travel so much so had to learn to cook for myself." She just gave him a small smile.

In no time Harry was done with some delicious pasta, he plated up two plates and brought them back to the sofa just to run back and get water. YN honestly did not feel like eating but she felt too guilty to let all of his hard work go to waste. It was pretty good actually, she liked it.

"I, I, will make an appointment for Tuesday then." She spoke breaking the silence between the cutlery clinking on the ceramic plates.

"Sure!" He agreed, "I will give you my new number you can text me, I will come and pick you up."

"Mhmmm." She nodded again.

That was about it for the afternoon. Harry did gave her his new number and promised not to loose it or have it saved somewhere so if he looses it he can reach out to her this time.

......................................................................

Tuesday rolled around and Harry was anxiously waiting for YN's text. It was way too early in the morning, but he was still ready for her text whenever she is.

To be honest, Harry really never got over the fact he still wants to see where things would go with YN if they both gave it a chance. He is just not so sure about how she would take it now given the situations. He is really smitten by her, so much, he will admit it shamelessly. He still finds himself grinning like an idiot when he thinks about their first interaction.

How she thought he was his own doppelganger, how she mocked him for solid fifteen minutes with an untouched wine glass in her hand. In her opinion she'd rather spend four pounds on the cheapest glass of wine even if she doesn't drink to keep the creepy men away from her.

She talked to him, apparently he wasn't being creepy and did not ask to buy her a drink. And most probably because she was having so much fun mocking him and laughing. He still doesn't know how that night happened honestly. It was blissful.

To pull him out of his day dreaming his phone started ringing, it was of course YN.

"Hello love, good morning!" He said as he answered the call, sounding way too excited.

"Hey, good morning." Her morning did not sound so good, "I called in the clinic yesterday after work they said they couldn't fit me in, and I like already took next three days off. Do, do you think you can me out here? Now I know I should have called them earlier but I had to run in early for work, there was this important thing I had to get to which I had been putting off..."

"Hey, look you don't have to explain yourself." He assured her, "let me make a few calls and we'll take care of it okay?"

"Okay." He let out a sigh, "please call me back, I'll call my friend too."

"I promise, will call you back. Give me half an hour." He reassured her again before the call was ended.

He called in his manager, and the hardest calls to make were to his mum and sister. He needed their opinions okay. He doesn't know if either of them have been into this situation but he hoped they could help. His sister told him about her friend who is a doctor at this private clinic, who she had referred her other friends too. Luckily both, his mum and sister were so nice and cool about it. To ease his nerves, it was good. Amazing actually!

He had called in the clinic and they actually had few slots open for an appointment, he made sure with YN first before booking one. Rest assure he wasn't ready for the questions she bombarded him with when he went to pick her up. The clinic wasn't so far away from her place actually.

Harry spent his entire Sunday night and all Monday researching about the pregnancy and everything which came with it. And everything about the abortion.

"Harry, it is a private clinic, I really can't afford it. Do you think they'll charge to cancel the appointment?" She panicked when he told the name of the clinic.

"Don't worry about it, we'll take of it."

"No, no, nope! I really can't afford it." She started to get stressed.

Actually she had spent more at hospital these past few weeks than she had her entire life. She had to actually dip into her savings which she was going to use to buy the flat she is living in. Maybe in a couple more years, or at least before he lease ends as her landlord was really looking to sell the property. And it was eating at her that a huge chunk of her savings went to something she could so surely avoided from happening.

"Let's just go in okay, let's just see what they say first." He parked his car and got out to get the door for her. YN was clearly nervous the whole time.

She had gone in for the procedure alone actually, she could apparently go home by the evening they said. If things seem good, or they'd have to keep her in for the night. Which none of them were prepared for. Harry had to wait outside for about an hour before he was told he could see her in the recovery room.

"Hey love, you doing alright?" He asked as he carefully entered the room. A nurse was checking up on her there.

"She is a bit drowsy, let her sleep if she wants to." The nurse informed, "she is doing well, you can probably take her home by evening." He smiled at Harry before he was out.

"Thank you." Harry acknowledged the nurse and carefully sat beside YN on the edge of her bed.

"You are blurry." She shared.

"You are under a lot of meds right now love." He shared, "you want to take a nap?"

"Mhmm." She nodded, "I, I want to lay on my side but I can't move."

"You want me to help you?" He offered already helping her to lie on her side, well, she did it on her own anyway, "is it better now?"

"Yeah."

"I'll wait here for you, okay?"

"Thanks." Her eyes were already closed shut.

Harry sat right next to her for next three hours as she took a much needed nap. He found some old magazine to keep himself occupied, he read almost every little gossip and random facts column. He got to know ketchup was once used at medicine and shrimp's heart is in it's brain. Totally weird as fuck!

None the less YN was up in a couple of hours. She was doing well.

"Hi!" He greeted her as he placed the magazine down.

"Hi." She smiled back.

"How are you feeling now?" He asked watching her carefully, her forehead was all sweaty.

"I am warm, I don't know." She yawned.

"Want me to turn up the AC?" He asked to which she nodded in yes, he did so after he found the remote, "you need a minute or do you want me to call a nurse?"

"I don't want to see anyone right now, there were like five people there." She shared.

"Mhmm, do you need something?"

"Nope, I am good, thank you!" She smiled again now lying on her back.

"You did so great, the nurse said you can be discharged by evening hopefully." He shared, "what do you want for dinner, it's my treat."

"Oh, can we get burgers? I am really craving those I don't why!" She chuckled weakly making him grin showing off his dimples.

"Sure, anything you want, love." He carefully leaned down to press a kiss on her forehead. It felt natural in the moment but he felt awkward real quick. "Hey, can I ask you something real quick? I don't know, it might be a bit of a wrong time to do so."

"What is it?" She let her hed relax more into her pillow, still teensy bit drowsy from the medications but technically sober and in her consensus. Harry took a hold of her hand, the pad of his thumb rubbing over her knuckles.

"How, how about after you're feeling better and have rested well enough, we, we— I mean you and I can go grab dinner sometime?" He asked nervously, he is a little scared to be honest but he's trying his best to act cool. "I mean like a date. I've always wanted to ask you out to be honest!" A soft embarrassed chuckle left his mouth.

"A date?"

"Yeah, only if you want it to be." He added quickly.

"You, you sure you want that?" YN asked, her eyes welling up with tears in instance. In her defence she was starting to get cramps now, bht it was just the partial reason of her getting emotional.

"Why wouldn't I be?" He announced more than making it sound like a question, "was going to ask you out the same day but got a last minute call from my manager and then shit happened. Hey, why are you crying?"

"You're asking me for a date, I just got rid of your and my baby." She pointed out feeling guilty.

"Hey, hey, hey that's not why I asked you out my love, it's because I genuinely like you!" He announced to her, "I just want to get to know you, you are the most genuine person I've met in a very, very long time now. And you placed yourself first, don't have to be guilty about it. You know I wish I would have asked this the very morning I booked you that cab back to yours. I wish I wouldn't have lost my phone then."

"Really?"

"Yes!" He chuckled, finding her red nose now adorably funny, "I really do feel that way. Not asking you out just because I got you pregnant, lovie. I really do like you a lot!"

"I qm going to cry, stop!" And her voice was choking already as she spoke, which made Harry pull her in a warm and tight embrace.

"I respect your choice YN, that's the bare minimum I could do, you deserve so much more." He whispered in her ear.

It's been weighing on her heart, when growing up all she was taught that when she finally get married and get pregnant she has to keep that child and care for it, it's her duty to do so. If she felt otherwise, she was being ungrateful of the great gift. Her family is very religious, still. And by-product of that belief is herself and other five of her siblings. Though it is going to take time to get over those internalised misogyny, she hopes she can over come those really.

She really do wants kids, she is not sure how or when yet, but she does. This time felt just way too wrong to her. She can barely take care of herself let alone take care a whole new human and teach it how to go by their day and manage their emotions. It is definitely much more than just being able to financially take care of someone.

After what felt like whole ten minutes but actually had just been a minute Harry tried to pull away but YN wouldn't let him. "No, please don't."

"Oh, no I won't darling." He held her tight again, "you'd still let me take you out?"

"Yes!" She chuckled softly. "I want to get out of the hospital first please!"

"Mhmm, for that you'll have to let me go so I can go and get a nurse." He informed her.

"Oh, yeah..." He let go of him reluctantly.

"I'll give you all the cuddles you want, first let's get you out of here." He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

Soon they were out of the hospital and back at YN's. Harry was already planning a perfect date in his mind, given YN was adviced to rest (not bed rest) for a couple of days.

The next night Harry gave up and cooked up a nice and hearty meal for for both of them, they called it a date. According to Harry, that's the most romantic gesture he's ever done for anyone. Everything was starting to look like it was going to be fine.

......................................................................

N O T E:

Okay, so pls bare with me, my brain is a bit rusted lately. I apologise if this one sucks. I tried my best.

Also, pls feel to point out any typos, or not. I do not have time to go ahead and proof read this. I have to catch up on sleep. Hehe.

Hope you like it!!!

......................................................................

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[sakurayumeno]

Yanderes Reacting to You Attacking Them

Characters: Aesop, Alva, Andrew, Edgar, Eli, Luchino [H & S], Norton.

Genre: Yandere, Drabble.

Warnings: Unhealthy relationships, physical violence.

A/N: This has been sitting in the drafts since April and I kept adding people since then for some reason. It's finished now though!! Btw huge disclaimer, do not do this in real life. This is meant to be for the shits and giggles, not to permit people to do this. Same goes for my other yandere writings. Just wanted to clear this all up just incase.

If you don’t like yandere or if it makes you uncomfortable, don’t read.

Aesop at first glance doesn't seem like the type of person to be able to hold his own, but thats far from the truth. He literally carried bodies for his job before coming to the manor, he's quite confident he could take you on if needed. If it means hurting you then so be it, he'll patch you up later. But when he does, he won't be as careful as he was before. So don't be surprised when he "accidentally" bandages you up too tight or sticks the suture needle in the wrong spot... multiple times.

Aesop

Alva

Not mad, just disappointed. He's told you multiple times on why he had to take you away from those untrustworthy teammates of yours, they were dangerous and he couldn't risk losing another person he cares about, but you never would listen.

More brains than brawn. He knows you could best him in a fight, so he cheats a little, using his electromagnetism to stop you. Think smart not hard.

Andrew

This is what he deserves, he truly believes that, there's no reason for him to stop you in his eyes. How could he? He was the one who did something wrong and this is his punishment. Being hurt by the one he loves has never hurt so much before, but he understands. If doing this to him makes you happy, seeing him in pain by your own hand, then he'd gladly have you do it again.

Edgar

This guy has most likely never been in a physical fight in his life. He has no idea what to do, which makes him feel so vulnerable. And there's nothing else he loathes more than feeling vulnerable. So he panics and does whatever he can to get you to back off, even if it means to fight dirty. He'll kick, he'll pull hair, ears, anywhere he can reach. And when it's all over and your body aches from his attacks, he'll be looming over you, scowling with the pitiful tears of fear in his eyes.

Eli

He takes many precautions with you to avoid situations like this from happening. With his foresight, he already knew what you were planning and would try to talk you out of it, not wanting to resolve this in a violent manner. Because look, he's not very strong, in fact you could most likely overpower him if you really tried.

But if his attempt to dissuade you was to no avail, he would only fight back to defend himself, not hurt you. He couldn't bring himself to do such a thing to his lover.

Luchino || Hunter

...really? What were you thinking when you were trying to do that? There's no chance of you ever overpowering him and you both know it. So he just... laughs it off. He laughs at you. He finds your fruitless attempt hilarious, he thought you were smarter than that. Then, he grabs you by the back of your shirt like you're nothing but a small animal to him: a predator and its prey. But he was right about one thing, he knew you were such an intresting human.

Luchino || Survivor

He's more worried about you more than anything. Having a job working with highly venomous reptiles is nothing to take lightly. Your safety is his number one priority, even though it should be the other way around.

Now, he's not gonna do anything drastic, seeing as he doesn't want to worsen the already dangerous situation, but he's going to act serious about it. Firmly grabbing you by the shoulders and dragging you out of the room, only to then start scolding you. Not for what you did, but how you could've gotten hurt. It's not that he won't acknowledge that you attacked him, it's just that he knows your effort against him is completely futile. He only wishes you'll soon realize the same.

Norton

If you surprise him enough, you may be able to topple him over, forcing him to let out a string of curses at the sudden tackle you give him. Once he sees that his attacker is you, he tries to get you to stop, pleading for you to calm down. He'll even be trying to grab your arms to get you to cease your actions.

Absolutely sucks at fighting, especially if someone else starts it, but if you are considerably weaker than him then he may stand a chance.

[meenafreezoid]

Some King Dice headcanons ~

Hey, so I'm back at my Cuphead phase and I re-fell in love with the Dice Man, ehehehehehe ~ After watching Casino Cups again I had some headcanons (sfw) I'd like to share, let's gooo ! This include the game, the show and Casino Cups (I see it as the official prequel of the game ehehe)

💜🎲✨️ KING DICE ✨️🎲💜

King Dice is just a pseudonym, no one knows his real name, except the Devil. But even him prefers to call him King Dice.

He is in his late thirty, at least in the game. He is a little bit younger of one or two years in the Show, and in his mid-forty in Casino Cups

He is a bisexual icon, definitely seduces both men and women, as the charming manager he is (also obviously a heart-breaker)

He is a Taurus Sun, Leo Moon and Leo Rising ~

He is terrified of getting old, and uses makeup in order to look younger. His appearance is one of his top priority.

Speaking of that, he is a morning person because he has a long beauty routine and like to take his time. This include shower, polishing his dice-head to make it shine, numerous concealers and skin-care products, a combo of eye-shadow and eye-liner, transparent gloss, sometimes blush and of course perfume, you name it.

Is also slightly muscular under his clothes, like to stay in shape <3

He never swears, he's to polite for that (except when he's very very angry)

PURPLE. Just Purple.

Everything he buy has to be purple (or gold)

Scatting is like his second language, the man express himself a lot with it. He scats out of pride, joy, stress, when he wants to calm himself down, etc.

By the way, he is a walking musical, the man is ALWAYS humming something. He even created his own band to occasionally play at the casino, after the Devil re-hired him.

He speaks multiple languages, including english of course, but also french, italian, spanish and german.

Definitely a cat and tea person (somewhat confirmed by DD)

He never had a particularly sad childhood and doesn't have trauma neither. On the contrary, he was the only child of a famous and very rich couple who built their empire on Inkwell Isle. His mother was a former actress and his father the head of a mafia organization. He grew up with everything he wanted, but his parents never paid that much attention to him. Not that they didn't love him, but they were such infatuated with each other that Dice never had a real place between them, he was secondary.

One day, another gang with whom Dice's father had a rivalty kidnapped his wife in exchange of his money. Deeply in love, he accepted, and they both ended up killed, King Dice was 15. Dice despise love and see it as a weakness because of this.

King Dice always had a mischevous side in him. Because of his parents negligence, he developped insecurities of failure and being forgotten, so his greatest wish was to surpass his parents's reputation and glory, whatever if he was feared or adored.

This is also why he is soooooo devoted to the Devil and needs his validation as his number one in the Cuphead Show, imagine being the literal Devil's Right Hand Man, who can surpass him then ?

King Dice gave birth to his pack of cards with his magic. He has them since he's a child, and considers them as his confidents and family, he's like a Lion with his tribe with them.

I like to imagine that King Dice and the Devil, since the Game's events, have a similar relationship to Snape and Dumbledore. Like, they aren't close emotionaly speaking (this is more Henchman's role), but they respect each other. King Dice is deeply loyal to the Devil and is his most trusted ally, his number one to whom he reveals every of his schemes. The Devil just has to make a hand movement and King Dice is like "Your wish is my command, boss". They act like a dark prince and his butler.

So, he has a fear of failure, uselessness and being forgotten, and see everything as a competition he has to win. This is why he killed all the Devil's finest demons in "Release the Demons", he needs constant praise and special treatment from the Devil to make up his insecurities. Because of his immaturity, the Devil was mainly annoyed by him in the Cuphead Show. That's when he gave him a second chance and created the casino that King Dice grew more close to his crueler and calculative personality from the game, and the Devil trusted him in making him his casino's manager

In a way, the Devil allowed King Dice's darkness to take over him by removing every of his human aspects : he became less emotive and goofy, not insecure anymore, etc...

Despite being close intellectually and professionally speaking, the Devil and King Dice are less about emotional discussion, unlike Henchman who acts like the Devil's confident. If the Devil ever cry in front of King Dice, he would probably be uneasy and try to be comforting but would fail miserabily : "Uuuuh... come on, man, get over it, it doesn't matter that much... ?"

Despite that, I think that when they grew closer between the Show and the Game, they started to have a sort of sexual tension and both are in denial of that. They do have some moments of intimacy when both end up blushing at each other, like when King Dice gets closer to lights up the Devil's cigar, or when they share a quick glance after a angry customer coming at them, knowing what has to be done next ~~

A bit like the Devil with Henchman, King Dice is grateful to people that are loyal to him since a long time and genuily care for him, like his little cards. King Dice is very egocentric, but that doesn't mean he is incapable of being attached. He is very protective actually.

That is a surprise to anyone, but maaan the Dice man has a beautiful voice, but he doesn't only sing jazz, or swing or showing off his lovely voice. Sometimes, when he's alone, or with his cards, he sings more emotional and soft tunes, like a lullaby.

That's it for now guys ! I hope you enjoyed it and if you want more <33

[fxshigurosbae]

ılı.lıllılı.ıllı.

now playing ► KINKTOBER 22, second week.

OVERVIEW. he is much worse better than you thought.

♫ SONG DURATION.

0:00 ——◦———— -2.5kwords

parental advisory ! explicit content

LYRICS. boss!employer, office, clothed sex, semi-public setting, enemies to lovers, orgasm denial, multiple orgasms, rough, manhandling, size kink, fingering, stockings, creampie, pet names, sound restraint, unprotected, strong language.

ᴠᴏʟᴜᴍᴇ : ▮▮▮▮▮▮▯▯▯

— the playlist

fear of men, more like a desire to avoid them, there were comprehensible reasons. that included, more specifically, directly and shamelessly honesty in wishing to stay away from that man, the one in charge of you, kento nanami. what a complete cold, rude and snobby attitude he has, you thought. he gives me so much work, it’s impossible to finish on my shift!, you complain. fuck him, such a jerk. you insulted on your head all over again, in a very constant and, perhaps daily, trail of thought. that blond-hair that whenever you saw, sent horrific shivers down your spine, followed by a not very discrete sigh from your lips, a snort or even maybe, clicking your tongue. nanami, your boss, surely was a man of few words, choosing ambiguously wisely, well, in a very direct way — maybe a little too straightforward — and so, coming off as an asshole sometimes, which infuriated your nerves. definitely, your efforts were higher than most of the workers there, yet, he did not recognize it, ever, no one’s efforts — it is your duty, if you’re unsatisfied, resign. yeah, harsh, his word. with a pile of never-ending papers of data, skimming through the numbers, letters and symbols with a dizzy head, stiff fingers from the repetitive typing, working overtime, again. throughout the day, with the same rhythm, no accumulated tasks and even so, you had to work until late at night, watching your workmates leave, with dark circles under their eyes but still, sharing how much they were going to eat after that, ramen, beer, rice, something as small as an oniguiri made your mouth salivate — curse him, making you go through that suffering, that torture. now, the lights were off, only the city outside, the hallway and your bright, blinding screen were a part of the scene, making the space a bit more visible, barely. worse was, being so focused on the priorities, thinking the other person across the cubicles of the office wasn’t anyone important…

“y/n, please, come here.” jolting at the sudden break of the silence — exempting the sirens and horns from outside, keyboard, air conditioner and the machines — a voice, a familiar one called. your curious eyes peeking over the white low walls, standing up fully, taking steps at the direction of the speaker, high heels tapping, echoing lowly. i thought he hated working overt—

“you do know i hate working overtime.” effortfully, attempting to contain yourself from rolling your eyes back.

“yes, i am well aware of that matter.” if someone could see your face, they’d say you must have woken up on the wrong side of bed. he took off his glasses, cleaning them with a cloth, then staring back at you with that same old quite angered expression, like yours, a very tense atmosphere, as usual.

“then, tell me why haven’t you been able to finish your work? you do know i am your supervisor, if the important tasks, given to you, are not done, those become my responsibility.” rude. even standing a bit farther from him, from a higher angle, that made yourself feel so much smaller, intimidated.

“well, if you hadn’t given me so much to d—

“it’s your work, i have mine, if you do yours, we will avoid this situation.” putting his glasses back on, he focused on the screen in front of him, typing for a few seconds. “don’t get your personal feelings involved on this matter, be a professional.”

“i’m sorry?” you question, confusedly mad, making the man pause, glance at you with his head titled slightly towards your direction.

“i acknowledge your dislike for me.” good, at least he’s self-aware. “i am simply doing my job, i see you take my sincerity as an offense.” you restrain yourself, doing the upmost to keep quiet, to be mature.

“well, nanami, if you weren’t such a— beep beep

the fax machine starts, gosh, that thing saved your job. watching the blond stand up, walk towards the big equipment with slow movements, seeming tired, perhaps. doing whatever was needed, heading to where you stood, without a care in the world and, setting the paper on his desk, yet, not sitting back down.

“what were you saying?” his almost adenoidal voice asked, as if teasingly, he knew where you were getting at. supporting himself with a hand on the surface, staring at you, expressionless.

“nothing.” stares, the eye contact was intense. a few seconds later, his head looked down, hearing a sigh come from him, his fingertips removed his glasses for real, now, laying them on the table. Your breath hitched as you noticed the distance between you both had been way closer than you’d thought.

“you surely are a piece of trouble, it even feels like i am your enemy,” crossing his arms and legs. “mrs. y/n.” because you are.

“are you done lecturing me, again?” there was a twitch in his lips, almost like a curve forming, your heart skipped a beat.

“no.” simple like that. it wasn’t fair, how he approached you, even if you felt rage inside, that could not be enough to make you push him away. closing in, inch by inch, putting you on a narrow spot, where you have your lower back against the desk, holding onto the borders, his body so proximal, yet not touching at all.

“what are you doing?” you nervously question, feeling your cheeks warm up.

“i have no sentiment of hatred against you, even if it seems like it,” such a calm voice. “in fact, what i dislike are your methods, more so, who you are at work.”

“that didn’t change anything.” the air felt heavier.

“it did, i never said i hated who you really are, since i don’t know her,” his breath was fresh, burning against your skin, a very noticeable difference in heights. “but you,” he paused. “you can’t say the same.”

“that’s right,” oh, a chuckle from him. your heart skipped a beat, again, dammit. the blond leaned down, a tiny bit, getting closer, so close his eyes felt like devouring you, until you noticed his hands beside your waist, but on the desk, enclosing your body even more. “i, hate….” lips so very close. “you…” touching barely. “nanami.” softly kissing, yet harsh at first, the contact was a perfect fit. the kiss had endured a few seconds, those seconds felt like nothing, until you were the one pulling away.

“doesn’t seem like it.” if you could, you’d punch him in the face, never even wanting to think about how red your cheeks must have been, because you know they were burning. his mouth leisurely moving close to your ear, both his hands latched onto your waist delicately, shivering as those same palms brought your hips against his crotch. “will you let me fuck this hatred out of you, darling?” whispering so very softly, it damaged your poor heart — which beat sped up even more.

“want to see you try.” words slipped out, slightly feeling his smirk against your skin, suddenly being put to seat on the desk, where there was an empty space and, nanami swiped off whatever could be in the way. another kiss, a fierce one, the man fondled your ass, with a gasp you left, then, he could easily slip his tongue inside your mouth and start leading. his fingers snook under your skirt, having your legs wrap around him, it was easy to lift you off the table and, unexpectedly, rip off your stockings, having you choke. “those were my favorite!” you complained breathless, in between pecks.

“i’ll buy you a new one, sweetheart.” feeling a breeze against your skin, you sinked back down the surface. those long fingers of his right hand, now instead, made their way to your shirt, still supporting yourself on the border of the wood below you and, all while he almost devoured your lips. unbuttoning so skillfully the small dots of your white collared shirt — the one that fit perfectly, made your body look absolutely even more gorgeous — until your lacy black bra was on sight, having him pull away for a second and, shamelessly stare at your chest, smiling truthfully, not taking off your shirt entirely, but was open enough to expose your torso. “that’s sweet.” you couldn’t decipher what he truly meant and, even if you could, he did not let you, after joining your lips once more, passionately. those digits now finding their way under the fabric, pushing it down, letting your breasts free over the bra, playing with a nipple surprisingly and, spontaneously letting out an unwanted moan. you were the one pulling away now, too ashamed to stare back at him, head to the side, covering your eyes with your forearm, noticing how the bulge on his pants was in contact with your inner thighs. he decided to stop, spreading your legs further apart, loosening his tie with a heavy breathing that made his features soften, unzipping his pants with the other hand. nanami reached now to your thighs, running his hands until the hem of your panties, since your skirt had been lifted to your hips quite some time ago, finishing to rip off the pantyhose you wore, as well as, pushing aside the cotton fabric of the lacy underwear matching your top and, your own hand flew to his wrist as soon as he played with your folds. “are you embarrassed for being this wet?” the blond questioned, noticing how you tried to stop him.

“shut up.” he smirked softly, again. lubricating his fingers enough and, so quickly, that it was easy to slid two of them inside your pussy, without warning, clenching your walls and attempting to squeeze your legs shut, however, he kept them open. your mouth morphed into an o shape, throwing your head back in ecstasy. “don’t tell me you’ve came already.”

“i-i didn’t.” liar, what a silly lie, you haven’t had sex in years. pushing them deeper in, you tried hard to keep quiet, it worked, for now. still tightly gripping onto his arm and wrist, so ashamed of the situation, your toes curled and heels were about to fall off from your feet, while nanami’s chest was heavily and seductively going up and down. thrusting those in and out painfully slow, curling them when he was all the way through, calloused wide and long fingers, he acted as if prioritizing your own pleasure first — he would never do that, would he? he’s just a selfish prick that… fuck — hitting that one spot led you to the edge, lips parted again, a low, very very low whine escaped and your grip tightened, yet, he knew he had found it.

“you’re very sensitive, mrs. y/n.” don’t say my name or i’ll… his tired eyes had an unexpected warmth to them, differently than usual, there was even this strange feeling that he was so needy and caring, his cheeks were faintly red, even if the lights were low, you could see that. with a more than perfect thrust of his fingers, such a pretty whine left your lips, so lewd, meanwhile, so innocent, not a hint of fakeness, nor dislike. and, with your back arched a little more, biting onto your lower lip, discrete trembling legs, you had came once more, a bit harder than before, squelching noises becoming louder, but before that, nanami’s head fell onto the crook of your neck, his nose against your skin. “i can’t take it anymore,” pulling out of you, he grabbed onto the sides of your hips, slowly leaning back, inches away from your face. “i need to fuck you.” with that, kissing again, like it was familiar already, like he was famine, with insatiable hunger for you. nanami, once more, like before, spread your legs apart, getting in between them, your arms wrapping around his wide shoulders. so very suddenly thrusting inside, with a cock you’d never imagine could be that big, immediately failing to keep silent, yet you kept on trying. pausing to take each breath, he faltered, with chopped short breaths, recomposing and pounding for the first time deep enough to maintain your legs shaking. one of his hands rested against your lower back, the other, held one of your thighs, bringing it closer to him. those were harsh, long pounds, ones that could easily break you in half if you were a porcelain doll. the pace was rough, but even, with a slight hint of gentleness. his groans were audible, your ego was flushed down the sink, which meant your whining was all over the place now, you gave up — he was treating you nice, there was no reason to stay quiet — and those sounds were soft, so sweet, so pretty, his cock seemed even bigger inside, your gummy walls clamping him tighter, hardly letting him breath.

“you fucking b-bastard,” dizzy, breathless, aroused and with tits jolting along your entire body at each of his forceful and precise thrusts. “it feels s-so good.” praising rudely, in between the pecks of his lips against yours, finding his way into also kissing your cervix.

“i know, sweetheart, i know.” his voice soothed your anger, which made you even more irritated, which contrasted with the puppy expression in your pretty face. pulling your body closer, with a more concentrated, methodical pace, the one that led you to moan even louder, to hear this man whine so desperately, to have you repeat a number of no!no!ngh-n-no!s, trying to convince yourself this was not the best fuck in your entire life — who would have thought, your boss, the one you hated, that treated people so badly, could do this to you. your nails digging over his social shirt, the one unbuttoned to the top of his chest, seeing a droop of swear rolling down, making his fragrance stronger. instinctively, arching your back, while being both penetrated by his cock, balls deep, jolting body, embraced by his arms pulling your hips at each slapping contact. a familiar feeling on your lower belly, clenching down even more, moaning so loudly it echoed, being kissed all over your neck, with his soft lips.

“‘m gonna cum!” effortfully advising, trembling.

“go on, please, do it for me, darling.” gripping the back of his hair, pulling him into a last kiss before his sloppy pounds made you cum another time, so good that it sent electric sparks all over your body, beginning to get so dumb for his cock that if he kept it that way, you’d even tell blurt out you loved him. followed by you, repeated fucks left nanami’s mouth, very serenely and lowly until there was just this sudden warmth filling you up, thrusting one last time, and a white ring on the base of his cock, staying in position for as long as he could last. in an instant, it flew by, only noticing his missing comfort as he slid out of your cunny. but, well, the man was not hesitant to push two of his fingers inside you, keeping his cum stored safely inside. “consider it your salary advance.”

🔖: @ryumiii @shi-thats-kiera @witheldclouds @jeanswife101 @doumalover @drpepperlov3r @bontensbabygirl @cozydeku @simp-lauren @fatenpara @cookieempress2 @call-me-pretty-and-nasty

[dreamonseems]

love your writing 😍 could I please request something for erling where it’s your first time and he’s all sweet and concerned not to hurt you? 😘 xx

First Time

Erling Haaland X Female Reader

Summary: Reader remembering when she lost her virginity to Erling.

I hope this is OK. I feel like I'm so bad at writing smut, but I have such a fun time doing lol

⚠️ Warning: Smut!!!

The moment Y/N and Erling shared their first intimate experience was nothing short of magical. Y/N could recall it as vividly as if it happened only yesterday. For her, it was an event of utmost significance, as she had not only lost her virginity but had done so with the man she loved and hoped to spend the rest of her life with.

As Y/N reminisced about that night, she could feel a tingle run down her spine. Erling had been a complete gentleman, treating her with the utmost care and tenderness. Every touch of his hands felt like a warm caress, sending shivers down her body. She could remember how his hands danced across her skin, exploring every inch of her with gentle curiosity.

It was clear to Y/N that Erling cherished and respected her body, as he took his time to message every part he could come across. The way he touched her made her feel like the most beautiful and desired woman in the world.

From the very first touch, he knew he had to take his time with her. He was patient and considerate, ensuring that she felt completely at ease in his arms. He would ask her how she felt whenever he tried something new, eager to learn what she liked and what she didn't. Her pleasure was his top priority, and he spared no effort to make sure she felt good in every possible way.

But it wasn't just his gentle touch that made her heart race. His kisses were like nothing she had ever experienced before. They were soft and tender, yet passionate and intense, leaving her breathless and yearning for more. With every kiss, she could feel his love for her, deep and true, radiating from every fiber of his being.

As she tried to reciprocate his affection and give him pleasure, he gently pushed her back, insisting that tonight was all about her. He wanted her to have a truly memorable night, and oh, did she ever. With every touch, he worked her body to perfection, sending waves of ecstasy through her being.

As his fingers brushed against her clit, a low moan escaped her lips, and she felt her body begin to quiver with pleasure. He slipped his first finger inside her, taking care to ask if she was okay and only proceeding when she said yes. He worked her nice and slow, thrusting his finger in and out as he rubbed her clit, building her up towards her first orgasm of the night.

And only then did he add another finger, asking her once again if she was okay before proceeding. He did this again when he added the third finger, and she told him that he didn't have to keep asking. But he looked deep into her eyes and told her, "I don't want to hurt you. I want you to enjoy yourself and feel good."

In that moment, she knew that she had found a lover who truly cared about her and her pleasure. And as she surrendered herself to the waves of pleasure coursing through her body, she knew that she had never felt more alive or more loved than she did in that moment.

And when was done preparing her and grabbed a condom. As he was slipping it on, she told him, "You don't have to use that. I want to feel you inside me." But he refused, telling her, "For your first time, the condom will help. It will give you more comfort with the extra lube on it. My number one goal today is to make you feel good and for it not to hurt as much."

She accepted his explanation, and he grabbed the lube and put some more on himself and her. Climbing back on top of her, he asked, "Are you sure you want to do this?"

She replied with a firm "yes," assuring him that she was very sure. He slowly slipped inside her, stopping along the way to ask her if she was okay. She could see the fear of hurting her in his eyes, and she loved him even more for it.

As he was fully inside her, he stayed there for what felt like hours, letting her adjust to his size and only moving when he was one hundred percent sure she was okay. The first few thrusts, even though they were slow and gentle, hurt. Tears appeared in her eyes, and he stopped and started kissing them away, asking her if she wanted to stop. But she said no, and he let her adjust again before moving nice and slow.

Soon, the pain turned into pleasure, and she encouraged him to go faster. But he still didn't want to hurt her, so he increased the speed a little, but still keeping it slow and gentle enough. He rubbed her clit again, making her orgasm two more times that night before he came himself.

As they lay there, panting and sweating, he whispered, "I love you." And she knew, in that moment, that she had made the right choice. They had taken the next step in their relationship, and it had been perfect.

As she has these memories going through her mind. She thinks just how It was as if he had been put on this earth just for her, to love her, cherish her, and make her feel special. And as she lay there, lost in his embrace, she knew that there was no other place she'd rather be, no other person she'd rather be with. For in his arms, she found the kind of love that most people only dream of - pure, unconditional, and forever.

[erika-xero]

Thinking a lot of how social media affect art, how it is getting increasingly more difficult to earn money with it and honestly it just... makes me so sad?.. Disclaimer: I do not want you to pity me. I just want to share some thoughts. Some fears, maybe. Some regrets.

I know that I might never be able to make a good fortune by drawing illustrations, because it seems that I was entirely wrong with my priorities? I always wanted to do more: bigger pieces, more characters and hidden details. I wanted my art to tell a story, if possible.

Who could possible know that most of the people will move to mobile devices with small vertical screens, on which wide detailed illustrations with cinematic feel will look the worst?

Who could possible know that the algorythms of the social media would want you to draw MORE yet, somehow, draw less? I could go insane doing the same stuff over and over again: small portraits, halfbodies in the same simplistic style because they look best in instagram or on tumblr mobile app and gather more attention? And they are also faster to make, thus you can please the allmightly algorythm posting every day or two?..

I love my work, I adore doing various things, I love it when one week I work on a traditional art fullbody with a golden halo and the other three weeks - on a digital artwork with a dynamic fighting scene. But gods. How tiring is it to know that the piece you've been working on will get barely any attention, because three-weeks gap in my posting schedule will, for sure, upset the allmighty algorithm.

They say that it is always bad to switch style or a theme, because people get upset and unfollow you once they see something they aren't waiting to see. Different character body type? Unfollowing. Different facial feature? Unfollowing. Different aesthetic? Unfollowing.

Slightly different shading and coloring? Unfollowing.

But variety has key importance to me. I wish to draw characters which are drastically different from each other. I want to experiment. I want to explore. I want a drawing to be a puzzle I will be solving for hours, days, weeks, never getting bored. I do not wish my work to become a rutine to serve the algorithm or even the general public.

I see, like, those commercially succesfull artists, who post every day earning more money per week than I will be ever earning per month. It is all the same story over and over again: conventionally attractive characters. Halfbodies. Pleasant facial expressions: faint smiles, slightly raised eyebrows. Simple pose, 3/4, detailed clothing. Always the same stylistic choises. Always the same aesthetic.

Of course, sometimes they do draw stronger, bigger pieces, they experiment, they search for something new - but mostly secretely. In private. During the free time they earn - by their hard work and dedication.

I... can not afford drawing stuff for myself in my free time. Honestly, I don't have free time either than the time I spend on my trips to hometown - the only moments I could spend with my family. Neither can I draw five similar pieces in a row, because my brain starts to melt like a strawberry sundae?.. Because when I get bored, I lose concentration? Because, I made variety the key feature of my art and this turned out to be the worst decision an artist can make?

Am I just... weak? Am I stupid? Am I unworthy? Am I childish for wanting my job to be fun and entertaining and fulfilling to do?

There's this group chat I am in, and today someone, the succesful artist, said that anyone, who has less than 10K followers are, to say so, a no one? All of a sudden I feel so upset. My day is ruined. I never had 10K anywhere but VK (which is absolutely useless to anyone doing commissions). I never even cared about numbers... I never wanted to be big. Be popular. For most of the time, my biggest wish was to feel... fulfilled? To be happy, be proud of what I am doing?

I feel fulfilled. But I also don't want to starve myself to death. And I certainly feel like if I, one day, will want to have family, I wouldn't be able to make enough money to afford having a child.

Was I... entirely wrong? Did I waste my time chasing phantoms? Is it too late for me? Will I be among those, who might not survive the hard times, at least, as an artist?

[oneprompt]

HELLO AGAIN I HAVE CAME FOR ANOTHER REQUEST! >:D

Ok so I was thinking on how the Straw hats would react if their newest crew member was dealing with an a parent that was verbally or physically abusive and something accidentally triggered them or Y/N finally tells them about their past since everyone else shared theirs. I don’t really see much of fanfics of the strawhats comforting Y/N due to a traumatic event like this but I dunno I just thought it might be comforting for those who’re dealing with an abusive parent like myself

authors note : im so sorry you have to deal with such treatment .. just know that lots of people love you , and you don't need the approval of bad people , regardless of who they are to you. please stay strong my darling <3

ps , these are very self indulgent , as i grew up in a similar fashion .. soo , the reader is a bit bias to my reactions ;; my apologies.

CW : MENTIONS OF ABUSE. do not read if this is triggering

Luffy x Gn! Reader : Opening up about Abuser

- The moment you first tell Luffy, he blows up. He wants nothing more then to beat them senseless, to ask why they would treat their child in such a way. Luffy knows first hand how lovely you are, how earnest your heart is. Why in the world would anyone do such a bad thing to you? You're his crewmate, his nakama. Regardless of the tie to you have with your parents, the share of blood will never cure his hatred.

- Once Luffy takes time to actually process everything, noticing the itching fear molding your features, he holds his tongue. Luffy rarely filters his speech, making it very apparent that he was getting serious. He never felt the need to act maturely, unless it truly was a huge deal. And your safety was his number one priority. He may not be the best with words, or at comforting people but he does his best. Truly. 

- With a frown, Luffy shoves his straw hat onto your head, staring directly into your puffy eyes, your cheeks stained with your tears. With an abrupt swing of arms, Luffy captures your trembling form in an embrace. It’s still tight like always, but more tender then enthusiastic. For once, Luffy is dead silent. You can’t help yourself, feeling more sobs break free from the prison of your throat, cries filling the space around you both. 

- Luffy makes sure to praise you lots, after you opened up about such a private matter to him. He knows how awful you must’ve felt, all those years. Insult after injury.. That’s all your life was before this crew, wasn’t it? In case you’re ever doubting your self worth, or the things you have to offer others, Luffy is quick to clear those doubts from your admirable mind! He isn’t super wordy, so you can’t expect such an open display of affection but it’s love alright. Just- in Luffy’s weak vocabulary. It means so much to you, knowing you’re so cherished by another being. Especially the one who unknowingly saved you from that living hell, 

- Luffy is quite impulsive, not processing his actions or words before acting upon them. But he’ll notice if anything he does upsets you. Whether it’s a jumble of words or a loud noise, he can recognize that terrified gleam in your eyes. As soon as Luffy does notice, he’s right at your side, ready to give you a big, stretchy hug. He doesn’t mean to be so ignorant to you and your feelings, and he’s trying to get better with that... Truly. 

- Even though Luffy is a blabbermouth, he knows when and what to keep under wraps. He won’t even mention anything about what you told him to any of the other Straw Hats. Trauma is a thing you tell people in your own time, not something you have others talk over. Luffy knows that much. 

Zoro x Gn! Reader : Opening up About Abuser

- Much like Luffy, Zoro’s first thoughts are wrathful. He wants nothing more then to punish them for hurting you, testing his highest strength sword moves on them. Yet, he doesn’t verbalize them. He has half a mind to know not to say anything. He knows showing off such a rage filled face might mirror your parents, making you feel untrustworthy of Zoro, perhaps full of regret that you told him such a thing. 

- Zoro sighs, shaking his head as he pulls you close to him, allowing you to bury your face into his chest. He just holds you, cuddling you within the warmth of his bed. Slowly but surely, Zoro rocks you to sleep. He could tell how much energy that took from you, how much courage was needed. Zoro could tell how badly you needed to rest. And he wanted nothing more then to be there for you while you did, making sure he was there to ease your mind if you woke up, panicked by a night terror. 

- After you told him about your trauma, and how it haunts your mind to the point you often cannot sleep, Zoro began to sleep with you every night. He’d be there to calm you down, helping you either go to sleep or return. He knows how important sleep is, and he’s gonna make sure you keep yourself healthy. 

- Very cautious around you, when it comes to things that could trigger you. Whether it be loud noises, aggravated screaming, he tones it down, And Zoro is sure to keep the other boys in check, not wanting any of those numbskulls to upset you so drastically. He just... refuses to let those memories plague your mind, at least to such a panicky degree. 

- Zoro is 10x more protective of you now. Not that he finds you weak, no. You’re quite the opposite, being capable of enduring all that cruelty for years... you were the strongest person Zoro knew. He just doesn’t ever want you put in such a position again, for obvious reasons. You don’t deserve to be hurt, and you never did. Zoro would rather die then let you suffer again. He’s more then willing to put his life on the line for your sake. 

- Zoro loves drinking, but he avoids bringing it out when its just you two. He knows that alcohol isn’t all fun and games, especially for somebody with a traumatized psyche. He doesn’t want you developing an unhealthy coping mechanism with it. So, Zoro is sure to hide his sake beneath his bed everytime you come to sleep in his room. Even if you lack interest in drinking, it’s just an extra step of precaution. 

Nami x Gn! Reader : Opening up About Abuser

- Nami feels on the verge of tears when you finally tell her the meat and bones of your past. She wants to act mature and give you words of wisdom but she merely can’t, letting out silent cries as she glanced at you. You were so sweet and loving... what could you have ever done to earn such terrible parents? You two cry in silence together, trading glimpses of the other. 

- Once Nami finally gets ahold of herself, she leans forward, enveloping your flushed cheeks in her tear soaked palms. She murmurs to you in between hiccups, going on and on about how none of your trauma was your fault, about how proud she was of you for still being here. Nami knows how hopeless it is to be enduring that type of torture, especially for such an extended amount of time. Knowing you’re the radiant being you are now, even after all of that... she’s so happy! 

- Nami is much more patient with you, in comparison to the more high strung Straw Hats. She’s a good comforter, offering any support she can to her nakama. Once Nami notices that hollow look reflect from your gaze, she’ll urge you to her side to cuddle her. With your head in Nami’s lap, her hand combing through your hair, she’s sure to remind you of how loved you are. 

- If Nami ever catches you degrading yourself for the scars you got from your abuse, Nami will show you her own. Even if her tattoo hides the side of brutal stab wounds from when she was with Arlong, she knows they’re apparent enough to ease your mind, to make you feel less alone. Embrace them, as they’re a sign of strength. That’s what Nami says. 

- Nami knows how important alone time is when dealing with trauma. She makes sure to give you your personal space. If you’re cooling off from a breakdown, she’ll let you haul yourself up in her room for a few hours. And thankfully not even Luffy will come to bother you, as he’s too afraid of Nami’s punches. 

- She loves kids, and she always tells you how great of a parent you would be. Just because you were raised in chaos, doesn’t mean you’ll be like your parents. Nami knows you, she knows your nature. And she knows you’d be the upmost best parent, keeping your babies safe. Your trauma doesn’t define you or how you’ll treat people. 

Usopp x Gn! Reader : Opening up About Abuser

- Usopp may not be a fighter, but he is a mediator. With a hold of your hand, Usopp asks you about everything. No overly pushy questions or ones that’ll upset you, he just wants to know if he needs to adjust certain behavior around you or set new boundaries. You and your comfort are his number one priority. He love that smile of yours and he wants to keep seeing it, just like  he has been for the few months or so. He never wants the bright and amazing Y/n to lose their flare, all for the sake of your disgusting parents. 

- He means well, even if his words of comfort can fall flat. Usopp shows off physical affection during this, but not as much as the  romance dawn trio. He’ll occasionally stroke your head or caress your hands, just little things to put your quivering body at ease. Although, if you flinch at the move of his hand, he’ll stop immediately. As i said, your comfort is Usopp’s number one priority, and nothing will ever alter that. 

- Knowing you trust an infamous liar like Usopp makes him soso happy. He isn’t used to being a persons comfort or someone they rely on for support. it means a lot to be trusted, especially by somebody he loves so much. 

- From then, Usopp holds your hand a lot now. It’s a helpful aid to you, being able to cling to your best friend, somebody you trusted so much. You had nothing to be afraid of. Being able to just make contact with another person without the fear of stinging or aching afterwards may seem like a birth right but to you, it felt like a treasure itself. Usopp was your sanctuary, whether he knew so or not. 

- Usopp makes you all sorts of helpful things! His first gift to you was a pair of noise counseling earmuffs, made to avoid audio caused meltdowns. You had a ton of issues with dealing with loud noises, a thing you had admitted to Usopp. The first gift wasn’t the last, as he continued to make you gifts to help you with your PTSD. Whether it was practical things or just comforting things like stuffed toys, he wanted to do the best he could to make you feel better. 

- Usopp shares a dream journal with you! Not that it directly helps you, but monitoring and focusing on things can help freeze out the problem in a healthy manner. You both document your dreams, the patterns, the similarities, all of that jazz. Its a cute thing for friends to do together, and you really do appreciate the lengths Usopp goes to in order to comfort and distract you from your pain. 

Sanji x Gn! Reader : Opening up About Abuser

- Sanji is so understanding, due to sharing a similar upbringing. He puts an arm around you, letting you lean into his side. Like Luffy, Sanji knows when to drop his comedic behavior. He doesn’t chant any overly formally honorifics at you as you snuggle into him, nor does he let any blood leak from his nose. Sanji just lets you melt into him, humming to you softy, doing his best to calm you down.

- He’ll tuck you into your bed, once you’ve relaxed. Sanji offers you the kindest smile, finally saying a singular string of words. “I’m proud of you, Y/n-san.” Not a lick of his words are ingenuine, Sanji is deeply proud of you. He knows the despair you fall into, being treated so brutally by the ones who are meant to love and cherish you. He’s proud you’re here, that you never gave up on yourself. 

- Sanji will serve you your personal comfort food and beverages, whenever he notes that you look upset. He’ll hand them to you, a heartfelt letter resting on the tray. Its never anything perverted, just a lengthy letter of praise and sincerity. All those letters mean the entire world to you..

- He’s more careful when cooking now, making sure to not accidentally break a porcelain dish, knowing how much that sound may upset you. Sanji becomes much more aware, more cautious. Especially when you’re directly in the kitchen with him, he’d hate to remind you of your wretched parents. 

- Sanji will take you out for fun little things, whenever you’re all docked at an island. He’ll take you shopping with him, pampering you with whatever you desire. Clothing, lotion for sunbathing, cute little knick knacks, he’ll buy you whatever you want. Retail therapy..!! 

- Sanji tucks you in every night, when you two are done spending. He loves asking you how you enjoyed it, because of the smile you give him. Its large, oozing with pure joy. He’d- he will do anything to protect your smile. 

Nico Robin x Gn! Reader : Opening up About Abuser

- Robin can’t help but frown. She heaves a sigh, reaching to pet your hair. She isn’t the most open person, she never has been. So, Robin hasn’t ever had anyone come to her about something like this. She isn’t good at comforting, honestly. But, she’ll do the best she can. “You can cry, Y/n. I know how much you want to.” Robin now has your head held to her shoulder, letting your tears nurse themselves into her blouses fabric. “Thank you for trusting me...” She murmurs, full on hugging you at this point. 

- Robin hasn’t had somebody trust her with such information. It- it felt nice to be trusted, to be viewed as an earnest friend. She can’t help but smile ever so slightly, cradling you in her arms. You really did trust and love her, didn’t you? 

- She’s very motherly to you from there on out, almost the way she is with Chopper. Robin will let you hold her hand, lay on her lap or chest, anything. Her maternal instincts want nothing more then to make you feel loved, something your true mother could never do. Robin never had a mother, but she does her best to do what a true mother does for her babies. 

- At night time, Robin will come into your room to read a book to you. She knows you struggle with insomnia because of your trauma. So, Robin does her best to fix up your sleeping patterns. She’ll read you her favorite books, making her voice as soft as she can. Once she notices you asleep, she’ll give you a light kiss on your forehead before taking her leave. 

- Robin can read you easily, knowing exactly what body language you use when experiencing specific emotions. If she notices you’re upset, Robin will offer you to build a puzzle with her, or listen to her read her newest book. With those distractions, she’ll give you all sorts of love. Verbal, physical, every form. She wants to preserve your pure heart and your joy, helping build that further every time she shows you her love.  

- Robin is the most protective of you out of the Straw Hats. If you two are in a battle with anyone, and multiple of them rush to target you, she’’ll make sure to break them. She’s as fierce as a mother bear, not letting any disgusting people near her child. She’ll make sure to give them a painful punishment for messing with you... 

Franky x Gn! Reader : Opening up About Abuser

- Franky tears up under his sunglasses, each drop escaping and dribbling down his face. He rests his large hand on your head, caressing you with an unfamiliar softness. Franky may not have grown up with his parents but he knows that such treatment against their young is not okay. His heart aches for you, for the childhood you lost.

- He’s furious at this newfound info but he cant express that, as Franky’s rage succumbs to his wavering heart. Franky is full of anger and sadness, pity for you. You poor thing... You manage to smile every day and be so sweet to everybody around you, how do you do it? How are you not...mad? You’re one tough cookie, even if you’re just a kid compared to him.

- Like Robin, Franky’s dad switch is activated. He’s used to protecting and taking care of people, and that’ll extended to you. He won’t smother you but he’s so lovey to you! Franky wants to protect your happiness, letting you flourish. Regardless of what happened in your past, that doesn’t define you. You didn’t deserve it, it didn’t ‘ruin’ you. You’re suuuuper! You grew into such an amazing person, Franky knows that. He won’t ever let you utter a single negative thing about yourself.

- Franky always surprises you with gifts! More so, personally made ones. He’ll make you a cute little music box, something that can act as a sleep aid for you. Something so dainty is out of his normal craft but for you, he’ll push himself to do anything! You’re his ki- friend! You’re his pal.

- He always welcomes you to come goof off with him, Usopp and Chopper! If that is your forte, they’re all sure to keep you laughing, launching endless jokes and absurdities your way. Franky knows that laughter is one of the best medicines! And he’s much better at that sort of comfort then the sophisticated kind... Whether it’s as simple as him doing silly poses, telling you greatly dramatized stories, he’ll do whatever shameless thing it takes to hear that angelic noise. He tries his best to keep you happy.

- Franky often writes letters to Iceburg, even if his handwriting is illegible. He’ll go on and on about his journeys, his new weapons, anything and everything under the sun. But nowadays, he’ll sneak in a mention of you. Going on and on about how much you remind him of his carefree youth, the way you make him feel at home in the same manner Tom and Iceburg did. You may think Franky is helping you with your mental health the most out of you two, but thats not to say you haven’t been helping the cyborg. You really do remind him of simpler times. Those beaming summer days in Waters 7, frolicking with Iceburg in the junkyard... In a way, you make him feel even more connected to those memories, holding an unexplainable nostalgic glow.

Brook x Gn! Reader : Opening up About Abuser

- Brook places a boney hand over yours, looking down at you. He’s never seen you this way. You look like you’re in so much pain, it hurts his heart. He repeats words of affirmation to you, his voice delicate and quiet. Brook repeats over and over how glad he is to have met you, how lucky the Straw Hats are to have you in their crew. Your parents seemed to have distorted your self image for years on end, almost brainwashing you into thinking you were this horrid person. Brook may not be able to erase such work over night, but he’ll do whatever it takes.

- He lightly squeezes your hand, staring directly at you. “We’re your family now, okay?” With that being uttered, you fall apart right then and there. You can no longer hold back your loud sobs, desperation filling your tone. You hold onto the skeleton tightly, gurgling out thank you’s after thank you’s.

- You and Brook grew much closer afterwards, having you spend a hefty amount of your time with him. Your presence meant so much to Brook, the same way his meant to you. Brook had grown accustomed to being in his lonesomeness, not having a single soul to be with. But now, things were much different. You were his most beloved friend, a person who shared a mutual love for him.

- Brook often composed songs for you, ones that would make you smile or even weep with joy. He put his heart and soul into your songs, putting care into every note. He knew they served as both a comfort to you, and he knew the stroke of the piano keys could calm you down after a night terror. Each song was strategically crafted, containing notes that could lull you to sleep, your favourite instruments bellowing in the back.

- Brook is always there to help comfort you whenever you have a meltdown. He’ll usher you comforting words or warm touches. After you’ve calmed down, he’ll return with your favorite flavor of tea, maybe with some macarons on the side... Whatever snacks you may fancy.

- Brook often ends your days together by tucking you into bed, pulling the warm and cozy sheets over your form. You may be an adult, but to Brook, he believes anyone can be tucked in, regardless of age. It’s a kind and endearing thing, something you deserve. Once he’s gotten you comfortable, he’ll give you time to decompress and sleep. You deserve to relax once in awhile, turning off all your negative thoughts. 

Jinbei x Gn! Reader : Opening up About Abuser

- The moment your words force themselves out of your mouth, Jinbei already has you in his lap, arms wrapped around you. It’s a comforting embrace, holding a sense of security. He’s quiet, leaving you to only listen to his lingering breaths, Jinbei doesn’t push for details, letting you ride out your emotions with him. Even as your tears sink into his yukata, beginning to soak the fabric, he never pushes you away. 

- Jinbei is the most composed out of the crew, not displaying too much heavy emotion. A small frown just rests on his face as he rubs circles on your convulsing back. He avoids showing how upset he truly is, not wanting you to feel any need to comfort for him. You’re the one that deserves all the comfort right now. You’re who needs attention. 

- Jinbei lets you come into his sleeping quarters whenever you need. Whether you’re upset, happy, mellow, you’re always allowed in. He’ll let you sleep in his bed if you need. He knows how touch starved you are and how much you crave validation, and he’s more then happy to deliver. Jinbei will cuddle you, showing you his care for you in the simplest of ways. He may not directly express his love, but he makes sure that you know how much he cares about you. 

- If you come to his room upset, Jinbei won’t force you to talk about whatever upset you but the offer always stands. He knows he isn’t the greatest at this, especially out of the Straw Hats but as i said, Jinbei does whatever he can. If it regards your parents, you’re immediately met with a hug. He wants to fill that void for you to the best of his abilities. 

- You give Jinbei a sense of meaning for the first time in awhile, making him feel valued for more then his strength. You and the Straw Hats both made him feel that way. You all helped him feel loved, but you did the most. The way you trusted him so deeply, enough to confide in him for the most heart wrenching things... Jinbei was grateful for that, to have your trust. And you had his, 100%. Jinbei would trust you with his life. 

- You remind him of Koala, in a sense. Is it just his fatherly front that connects you two? Is it the fact you manage to brim with optimism, even after everything that’s been done to you? He’s not very sure. But all Jinbei knows for sure is how much Fisher Tiger would love you, if only he were still alive. He often dreams of that, of how you, him and Fisher Tiger could be a happy family. Maybe in another life. 

[themuse-if]

20 (or so) Questions with Ro Sawyer

Let's find out what Ro is all about! Are they just charisma and charm or is there something else under all that bravado?

Interviewer: Hey Ro! Thanks again for doing this. Love the look by the way! Let's dive in. When's your birthday?

Ro: Hey! Thank you for having me! My birthday is August 8th. A proud Leo through and through.

Interviewer: Awesome! Do you go by any nicknames, or is it all about Roxanne/Robbie?

Ro: Yeah, my friends call me Ro. It's got a certain edge to it that I dig.

Interviewer: Nice choice. So, beyond the Rebel Rejects and the music scene, what are some of your good traits?

Ro: Well, I've got this knack for bringing people together. Whether it's on stage or just hanging out, creating connections is something I love.

Interviewer: That's a great trait. And how about the other side of the coin? Any bad traits you're willing to share?

Ro: I can be a bit impulsive. It's that punk spirit, you know? Sometimes decisions are made in the heat of the moment. Even still I can't say I have any regrets.

Interviewer: Makes sense. Alright, what about hobbies outside of music? What does Ro enjoy when not rocking the stage?

Ro: Exploring the city is a big one. I love finding those hidden spots, meeting new people, and finding little hidden gems that I wouldn't have known about otherwise. It keeps life interesting.

Interviewer: Cool, I can see you're pretty adventurous. Now, let's talk strengths. Besides the stage presence, what do you consider your greatest strength?

Ro: I thrive under pressure. When things get intense, that's when I'm at my best. It's like a switch flips, and I go into overdrive.

Interviewer: Impressive. And on the flip side, what's your biggest weakness?

Ro: Patience, or lack thereof. Waiting around has never been my strong suit. I want things to happen, and I want them now. * looks the interviewer up and down very slowly*

Interviewer: Got it... One word to describe yourself?

Ro: Unapologetic.

Interviewer: Powerful choice. And how do you think others see you in one word?

Ro: Magnetic. I've been told I have this pull that draws people in, on and off the stage.

Interviewer: Totally get that vibe. Now, let's go a bit deeper. What's your greatest fear?

Ro: *leans forward, and clasps their hands* Losing the connection with the audience. It's like a lifeline for me. Without that energy exchange, it feels like I've given all of myself and then received nothing in return.

Interviewer: I see you need that exchange to make it feel worth while. What are your top priorities at this point in your life?

Ro: Keeping the Rebel Rejects together is number one. Making it big is the goal, and university is just a fun little stepping stone on that journey.

Interviewer: Hmm, I see. Ok, Family time! Tell me about your family.

Ro: We're a tight-knit bunch. They're supportive, even if they don't fully get the punk scene. Mom's got this knack for making killer vegan pizza – a family tradition. I've got a little brother, he just turned 13 and is absolutely unbearable. I will miss him though.

Interviewer: Aww I see we've found your soft spot. Now, future plans. What are your goals?

Ro: World domination with Jo and De by my side, of course. But on a personal level, I want to grow as an artist and make music that leaves a mark.

Interviewer: Admirable goals. Rainy days – how do you spend them in more detail?

Ro: Picture this – cozying up with a book, probably a rock biography or something by Patti Smith. Vinyls spinning in the background, rain tapping on the window. It's a vibe.

Interviewer: Love the imagery. Favorite book?

Ro: "Just Kids" by Patti Smith. Her journey through art and rebellion resonates with me on a different level.

Interviewer: Solid choice. And your favorite movie?

Ro: "Velvet Goldmine." Glam rock, the visuals, the rebellion – it's like a visual symphony that speaks to the soul.

Interviewer: Great taste. Alright, any dark secrets you're willing to share?

Ro: Well, my songwriting gets pretty personal. It's a cathartic release, and sometimes, the lyrics reveal more about me than I might openly admit.

Interviewer: I'll have to start listening to your lyrics more intently it seems. Ok Ro, on a lighter note, what's your best physical feature?

Ro: Just one... I really like my freckles I think they enhance all my other features, and they look great on camera. *flashes a toothy grin*

Interviewer: *clears throat* Uh yes they really, um nice... *looks down at notecards* Right, and what's your least favorite physical feature?

Ro: I honestly don't have one... Not to sound conceited but I wouldn't change one damn thing.

Interviewer: Ah yes, I figured you'd say something like that. Lastly, how would you describe being in love in more detail?

Ro: It's like a collaboration. Sharing life with someone who knows all the reasons behind every lyric. It's a wild, unpredictable, and beautiful ride – much like the Rebel Rejects' journey. Beyond all of that it just feels right like you couldn't imagine such an endeavor with anyone else. *looks interviewer dead in the eye* Not that I've ever been in love.

Interviewer: Mhm, beautifully put Ro. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and giving us a deeper look into your world. Can't wait to see what the future holds for you and the Rebel Rejects!

[pompadourpink]

Bonjour! I just saw the ask of the lost 17 year old and I cant help but feel like Im in a similar position. I'm 28 years old and I feel like I shouldve figured out what I want to do in life. I feel like I wasted my 20s on simply going with the flow and "ill figure it out later" mentality. I've also recently been fired from a job I should love but after three months I found so boring. I stayed there for a year just to get some exeprience. Now that Im unemployed again I get rejected over and over again and feel so useless. Even for jobs Im excited about the passion fizzles, and I dont even know what I want to do. Or what I'm even good at anymore.

Hello dear,

Dr Write too much, PhD, is back in the office, woohoo!

One, you're not supposed to have an epiphany one night and find out what your calling is. You don't have one. You're not a machine. You're a brain in a meat suit and you came without instructions, which means you don't have a function. Capitalism put us in this position. Existing is enough, and work is a human invention - food and shelter originally didn't have a price tag. We tend to think of the Ancient Greeks as the most advanced, wisest civilisation there's ever been. Do you think they wondered about what their manager is going to say if they dodged their phone call at 9pm on Friday or lost sleep over getting ghosted on Tinder? No, they had a lot of wine, a lot of bread, a lot of sex, and walked around in beautiful gardens with their companions. And they didn't feel bad about it. Why would they?

Two, you can reinvent yourself as many times as you want. Storytime!

When I went to Rome for my birthday back in 2018, I bumped into a Colosseo guide named Tahar who was around my boomer father's age and so happy to make a friend he started telling me about his life over breakfast, how he had studied physics, loved the stars, never had a family so he travelled a lot, had been in Rome for about a month, and gotten the job by hanging out around the Colosseo and having little talks with other guides in French, English, Arabic and broken Italian until their boss decided to hire him just because he was friendly. He even confessed that at night, he would go and have a drink in fancy bars to try and find tourists to sell tours to at a higher price so he could pocket the difference.

At the time, I was nearly 26, ten days away from leaving a terrible minimum-wage job, had lived in the same area of the country my whole life and the same city for 8 years, had a recently broken heart and was still recovering from a severe case of mononucleosis that is still to this day the worst pain I've ever felt.

I didn't stay in touch with Tahar because he got flirty and started insinuating that it wasn't too late for him to settle down and have a kid or two while holding my hands and that was not going to happen. However, I still think about him once in a while, when I catch myself being paralysed by fear of the unknown.

My guy had nothing, no house, furniture, wife, kids, local friends, parents, savings, was paid to ramble about history and make jokes in the sunshine, lived paycheck to paycheck; and he was happy, tanned, eating fruit and drinking wine with a huge smile on his face nella bella Roma, kilometres away from thinking of himself as a failure. He was doing exactly what he wanted, and where, and when, and with whom, and while he clearly wasn't a role model, he is the one person I have ever met who lived life on his own terms and is 100% going to die without regrets.

Three, take a step back. I talked about it recently but it is vital that we calm down and stop chasing numbers and short-lived adrenaline. Go spend a day outside, at the beach, in the countryside, the mountains - it doesn't matter, just away from home, and lay down, relax, and listen to what the world has to say to you. We all love to think that happiness is our number one priority, but it is rarely the case - I hinted about it in the 17-year-old post: if you think of your perfect day and compare it to your current circumstances, those two lists would be very different. We keep talking to people who make us miserable, eating stuff that gives us tumtum aches, wearing shoes that hurt our feet, and wonder why we are upset and can't sleep well.

And I'm guilty of that too. I have always had that mental image of the seaside, a walk on the beach, the sun, a dog, lavender ice cream, a man and a couple of kids running around, and then home, a movie, a blanket, the fire. I don't have any of that. I live in a very grey city, alone with my geriatric cat, working all day long, not knowing where to go, changing my mind constantly, thinking maybe I should just stay here and keep saving money for a house, drowning in my routines like a little hamster on a wheel. I love my life, but I'm not satisfied yet, because like you, my 20s were spent differently, and now I'm trying to catch up a little.

The truth is that I'll never be where my former classmates who took a different path are, but they will also never be where I am. They have more regrets than me. They look at my life, my freedom, my absence of morning alarm, my joy, my projects, my head full of dreams, and they envy me. I am *that girl* who spent an hour this morning looking up how to move to Barcelona as an entrepreneur within the Schengen space. You are her too, people just won't tell you.

So what do you do now? You find a part-time job you're not going to hate and won't have to take home at night so you can pay bills, you look for your joy until you find it, you explore your interests, figure out your goals, maybe see if you have a (current or potential future) skill you could use to start a side-business, alone or with another person, whether it's baking or tailoring, that you could do routinely without hating yourself after a while, and spend your free time doing exactly what you want. If it fails, the end of the road is very far away and you can always try again.

It won't be a waste of time. That's not how time works.

Love,

Mum

[jimmyandthegiraffes]

Fic Writing Review 2023 🌈

Thank you sm @itwoodbeprefect for the tag!!!

I hardly published anything this year so if u wanna skip to 'projects for 2024' that's gonna be the most interesting bit >.<

Words and Fics (on ao3) 📚

words posted: 714 💀 but many more words were written, just not posted lol fics posted: 1 first fic/last fic 😅: King of the Eyesores - Doctor Who (1963)

Ships and Fandoms ⚓

Doctor Who - no ships really but KotE is Mike Yates-centric.

Top 5 Fics by Kudos 🏆

It's KotE again lol which is at 6 kudos. Of all time, tho:

After the Hour(glass) - Night at the Museum (Jedtavius)

Less Than Ideal Circumstances - The Man from UNCLE (TV) (Napollya)

When They Sleep - The Man from UNCLE (TV)

Dismiss Your Fears - Back to the Future

After All, I'm Only Sleeping - Doctor Who (1963)

Top 5 Favorite Fics 💖

KotE......... I do actually rly enjoy KotE I think it has potential in terms of where it's going. But since I only posted one fic in 2023, I'll do my top 5 of fics I've ever posted. Apart from the first one this is in no particular order

tickertape - The A-Team (TV) it's my baby it's all I thought about for months of my life, it's like an iceberg (i.e. most of it is in my WIP doc, and only a tiny fraction is published so far), it got me thru a difficult time, it's an exploration of mental illness and complicated messy relationships expressed in epic format (i.e. it's probably gonna be novel length when it's done)

Bullet Number Six - Starsky & Hutch (TV) it received criticism for being obscure and hard to follow bc it switches pov briefly halfway thru but idc i love it anyway

I Gotta Right to Sing the Blues - The A-Team (TV) it was my first A-Team fic and I still think for a beginner it nailed some p realistic in-character dialogue and addressed an undertone I wished I'd seen addressed in the ep it's a coda to.

When They Sleep - The Man from UNCLE (TV) it's kind of riddled with certain mannerisms of my slightly older writing which I personally find a bit annoying and have worked to iron out for the sake of elegance over the years. but I still think it's a cool little exploration of all my sleep headcanons for the pair of them in one place

King of the Eyesores - Doctor Who (1963) see it made it to the list after all! I kinda like it more for its potential than for what it is right now butttttt who cares.

special mention to Unbereft (Starsky & Hutch) which I really really like but I wrote it in one frenzied sitting and only remembered after I'd posted it that it was very like someone else's fic I'd read several years previously. I don't think it's too much like to be taken down and I've since mentioned the writer of the other fic (it was dawnwind, hello!) in the notes. that's the only reason unbereft isn't in my top 5 because I'm otherwise really proud of how well it's written. Not to tootle on my own trumpet.

Fandom fic events

none RIP but maybe this year!!

Projects for 2024

Okay here we goooooooooooo

priority 1 is to finish the unfinished works that I've already half posted: King of the Eyesores, Every Line A Comedy, OUTATIME, The Windhover, tickertape, The Hanoi Bank Job and Other Misadventures, 38 Hours. Bolded are my top priorities.

other works that I'm writing but which haven't seen the light of day at all yet:

Dear Mike - an epistolary between Jo Grant and Mike Yates following her marriage to Cliff Jones.

The Lark/Behind That Locked Door (working titles) - a 30-chapter 2/Jamie fic about season 6B in which Jamie suffers permanent memory problems after the War Games. It explores grief, social ostracism, feeling abandoned, undirected anger, guilt, and acceptance that healing sometimes is a process that is never complete. I've been working on it since about 2016 lol but I'm lazy I just need to press on.

hell valley au - as yet untitled lol. In which the Hell Valley!Marty (who is never seen in BTTF2 as he is in Switzerland) and Hell Valley!Doc (who has been institutionalized) break out of their respective situations and go on the run together. But there's a problem - they had to leave Einstein behind, and when they get information that Einie is to be used for a dogfight, they make the risky decision to go back to Hill Valley to rescue him. However, going back to the place they just escaped by the skin of their teeth also brings them face to face with the last person they expect to meet.

a changed man (working title) - a Randall & Hopkirk (Deceased) fic from Jeannie's pov. mostly it's about their picnic excursions but it's also about Jeannie wishing Marty wasn't such an elephant in the room

mfu/rahd xover (untitled) - the first chapter of this is almost ready to go tbh. it's what it says on the tin lol, Napoleon and Illya go to London and get help from a rather eccentric private detective who has uncanny powers of solving impossible cases but also they think is probably clinically insane

to see him happy - VERY weird rahd fic. it's smut but its also about grief. might never post it because several of my family members have access to my tumblr and therefore my ao3 lol they dont need to see that

the winter of '62 - a study of jeff and marty's life when they lived together in a grotty bedsit and couldnt afford to put the heating on

star wars (untitled) - set during ROTJ, han pov. han's lost a lot of time and now everyone is one step ahead of him which isn't a sensation he's used to

skyrissian - what it says on the tin lol

the older gen (untitled) - jeeves fic about bertie's aunts and uncles and parents as they were as they variously grew up, got married, had children, died (or didn't), fell prey to alcoholism or insanity or petty crime, went to war, prospered (or didn't)... This is pretty unlikely to be finished this year tbh as it's very detailed but I can dream

a couple of long form fics about starsky & hutch and mfu respectively (the s&h one is set post sweet revenge, the mfu one takes place at various moments throughout the show)

x-files series - canon compliant until paperclip and then gradually diverges into how i think the show should have gone lol. another biggie

and a handful of tintin fics that im protective of and might never post but we'll see - one where tintin and chang go on holiday in london after picaros, one where the gang encounters rajaijah one last time (featuring a letter from didi, chang making a very daring crossing at the songolese border, and tintin taking about ten years to chop up a clove of garlic), and one where tintin gets shitfaced at an embassy ball and accidentally starts an Incident. haddock looks on, appalled.

i knoooooooooooooooowww this is a lot but i'm not realistically hoping to finish it all this year but it's nice to have lots of things to play around with lol.

unfortunately i have the eternal problem of not ever knowing which of my mutuals write fic and which of those havent already been tagged but imma tag @theteaisaddictive and genuinely if u see this and u write fic ur tagged i want to knowwwwwwwwwwwww <333

[btsmosphere]

OOOO this is such a unique idea i dont think i v seen an ask game like this. big brain ru 🙇🏻‍♀️💫❤️

as for the no. 14 please!😚💕

14: Wrong place wrong time mafia au

pairing: jin, jungkook, reader ???? some combo of the above genre: mafia au, angst?, humour?, strangers to ? word count: 1180 rating: pg15 warnings: violence, threat, assault with a knife

a/n: when I first checked number 14 and saw this.. I thought 'wow, way to be vague, past me. wtf do i do here' - but in the end I had an absolute field day writing this. the longest one of the game yet! hence it also took up a bit more time than the previous ones💜thank you for playing my dear diti and I hope you enjoy your drabble😘x

This place was always quiet. Tonight especially so, even the server had yet to show themself.

For you, that was no problem. It was why you picked this restaurant, needing somewhere you could count on to be left alone after the day you’d had. Or the week. Or-

Well, safe to say, you were drained. College had been running you to the ground, all while your work was trying to load you up with more shifts as more of your coworkers left. You were one of the few not in a position to up and go, needing the cash.

Another perk of this place were the prices. Really, you didn’t know why it wasn’t busier. Good food that didn’t leave your bank account in mourning? Sure, it was a bit out of the way but you had never seen it full.

Equally, it wasn’t often that it was completely deserted. Today, you were counting your blessings for that.

Until a tinkle of the bell announced another customer. It was just the one, though, as a surreptitious glance over your shoulder told you. The new arrival seemed just as eager to mind their own business, sliding into a table far from yours and slumping backwards with a scowl.

Before he could catch your eye with that deadly look, you turned back to your own table. You weren’t blind to his attractiveness, but you were undeterred in your quest to ignore him nonetheless.

To your relief, movement finally made itself known at the counter.

Slipping from your seat, you made your way to order before the server decided to disappear again. You already knew your favourite dish here, the combination of sauce and toppings not one you had found anywhere else, so that made it easy for you.

Despite there being one more customer waiting, the server jotted down your order and swiftly left.

Shrugging, you turned to sit back down. It wasn’t your problem if the new guy had to wait. Your food was your priority.

As you stepped towards your table, the other man rose from the corner. Keeping your eyes averted from him, you headed to wait.

It seemed he had other plans.

The moment he drew level with you, he diverted without warning. No sooner could you blink than his hand was around your neck, shoving you backwards into a table. The impact was noisy, pain blooming in your lower back as the wooden legs screeched on the floor.

Gasping, your eyes found the man’s for the first time. Hard and steely, they froze you in place, helplessly trying to balance yourself against the poor table.

Gulping, you desperately willed your heartrate to calm. The man’s heavy brows were drawn together and his frown only deepened. Still gripping your collar tightly, he slowly raised his other hand, making you hiss in a breath and struggle to get away once more, fear hijacking your body.

This guy had a knife.

Were you really about to be stabbed? Way to top off the day you were having. Maybe he just wanted your wallet. You did have food to pay for, but your life seemed a bit more valuable in that moment.

Your efforts to shake him off were futile, and you grew limp as he poised the knife cooly in front of your chest.

With trepidation, you raised your eyes to his once more, preparing yourself to give in to whatever he asked so you could get out of this alive and back to your damn dinner.

Your confusion only escalated at his words.

“Weapons out. Now,” he hissed, “put them on the table.”

Clearly you stared back at him, stunned, for too long, because he jabbed the knife closer, pressing against the front of your shirt.

“Clearly you’re the one with the weapons here,” you retorted. Oops.

Watching the fury on the man’s face blaze to life, you gulped. You really were about to meet the end of a knife.

He opened his mouth, but another sound came first.

The door opening.

You let out a breath; another customer might just force your attacker to give up. But you tried not to feel too relieved just yet.

Whoever it was seemed to take a while making up their mind. Maybe the scene they were met with frightened them and the moment they unfroze they would bolt. But, after a very long few seconds, slow footsteps moved towards the pair of you.

Far from deterred, the man with the knife yanked harder on your collar. You stumbled once more against the table. Breath quickening, you diverted your gaze downwards and saw a smart pair of shoes stop close behind your assaulter.

“Let them go, Jin.”

The new voice sounded bored, but the reaction was instant. At last, the hold on your neck weakened, allowing you to slump backwards onto the table. Your mugger whipped around.

“…Jungkook?”

Staring at the scene in shock, you caught a glimpse of your saviour. Or was he? He may have distracted your attacker, but he seemed to know the man. Jin, he said?

The new man, Jungkook, was also in a suit, and clasped his hands easily in front of him. His mouth quirked into a smile, eyes flickering behind Jin to look at you. He seemed all too amused, a youthful spark captured in his eyes and sublte dimple in his cheek.

“I see you’ve made a start without me,” he observed.

“They’re… they’re not one of yours?”

Jin glanced towards you, and for the first time you didn’t find him intimidating. Gone was that hard frown, and instead he gaped not unlike a fish. Still, you held down your smile, not willing to push your luck.

Jungkook smiled blithely, saying nothing. One eyebrow raising, Jin turned back to Jungkook.

“But they… they ordered it. That dish…”

Jungkook shrugged.

“No one orders that,” Jin continued.

If you didn’t already know he was armed, you might have voiced your offence at that. He had jumped you, a complete stranger, and now he was judging your choice of dinner?

“Good to know that your intention was to cut straight to the chase,” Jungkook finally spoke up, brushing aside Jin’s line of questions, “and here I thought we had agreed to a peaceful meeting.”

“You- You set me up!” Jin exclaimed, “They’re a decoy!”

Suddenly, he had turned back to you again, and that anger had returned. The knife hadn’t gone anywhere either.

Jumping up, you hurriedly darted out of his reach, but Jungkook’s reflexes had you beat. His hand closed swiftly around Jin’s wrist, halting the knife in its course. The two men exchanged a heated stare, until Jin huffed and the knife clattered to the ground.

Heart still thunking against your ribcage, you glanced hopefully back out at the door. However, having moved closer when stopping Jin, Jungkook now stood in your way. He turned his attention to you.

“Sit down,” he smiled, gesturing with his free hand to the table you had just been attacked against. “Wouldn’t want to miss your dinner.”

~

Thank you for reading! Play my prompt roulette and get a drabble of your own here :)

[redheadspark]

Can I request a summer prompt number 4) A curling up using B’s legs as a chair seat with Jack Russell and Fem! reader?

P.S. I love your work!! ❤️❤️❤️

A/N - I do like this for Jack! Thanks for the request, anon!

Safe

Summary - Jack knew you placed his safety first, and he took it to heart every time.

Warnings - A hint of angst but mostly fluff

“Let me see….how about this job?”

“Eh, they seem really flaky. Nothing really concrete on this paperwork,”

“You’re right, lets look at the next one,” 

You saw him flick to the next email, his iPad in his hand as his eyes were scanning over the new client applications  that was sent to him.  Being perched on his lap, you were looking at your recent book that he got you for your birthday, Jack reminding you that he can pick out the new client on his own with no help from you.  But of course, three minutes into review he clients and their paperwork, he starting asking for your advice.  

You never minded, not when it came to Jack and what he was looking for with who wants to hire him.  

Yet at the same time, you wished some of the clients were asking for Jack since it was a high enough risk.  He had a few close calls in the past few months, coming home so bruised and bloody that it made your head swim and your heart break.  You would mend him every time, wrapping the wounds and wiping the blood off in the bathtub until the crhinsom water went clear again.  Jack tried to reassure you over and over that he was okay and it was nothing for you to worry about.  At the same time, he would never want to worry over him or loose sleep at night.

But you did.  

“Something on your mind, Amor?” Jack asked as he noticed you not even reading your book, simply staring at the page in front of you with your thumb on the edge.  You looked over at him, seeing his brow knit together with concern.  

“Nothing, Jack,” you tried, but he shook his head and place his iPad down.  Taking your book to mark your spot, he placed it on the ground next to his iPad before he had your hands in his own, rubbing the back of your hands with his thumbs.  

“Your mind is somewhere else,” He said to you calmly, “And I think I know what you’re thinking about.  And although I wish to tell you that my safety will always come first to me….I know you’ll still worry,”

“Of course I will!” You huffed, squeezing your fingers together and looked down at the tangled fingers, feeling as though you were on he brink of tears as you went on, “You mean a lot to me, Jack.  And I know you fight monsters and you have to deal with being a werewolf once a month, I….I just want you safe,”

“And I would never place myself in such a predicament that would make you worry or fear for my life,” Jack said to you in a soothing manner, “You are my main priority, my sole priority,”

Your eyes went wide as he said this to you, “I…I am?”

“Yes you are!” He said with a small smile, reaching up to stroke your jaw with his fingers as he spoke again, “I remember a nasty job I was in a few months back and I came home in the middle of the night.  You mended be back to heath, and although you didn’t say anything, I saw the pain on your face.  I knew, from that moment on, I had to make sure the jobs I took weren’t going to place my life on the line….because that meant I would be taken from you.  If I could quit monster hunting altogether to make you happy, then I would,”

“No!” You immediately said, shaking your head since the thought of him quitting his job, quitting something you knew he was born to do, merely because you wanted him to seemed too much, “Don’t do that, Jack! Please, don’t!”

“Honey,” he cooed, calming you a bit as he saw you were getting a bit panicked.  He kissed you soothingly, you leaning into his kiss as he held you close.  You felt it in that kiss, how he was pushing his love into you and yet was being gentle at the same time.  Once he pulled away, he stayed close to count the freckles on your nose and you seeing the salt and pepper color in his hair. 

“You are everything to me,” he said calmly to you, “The fact that you love me and what I do is more than enough evidence that I have found my person in this life.  I am willing to take the tame jobs, or even quit all together, just to make sure I can come home to you in once piece,”

You knew he was your person too, long before this talk.  Jack was always willing to make you smile and make your day, little trinkets and flowers left on your pillow before he would leave for a job or a simple kiss on the cheek when he would be close by.  Simply listening to you talk and rant about your mediocre day at work or hearing you rant about the latest gossip with your friends, Jack would do all of it.  You were grateful for him in your life, no matter how boring it was compared to him being a literal monster hunter.  

He thought you were his match, his true north, his everything.

“Well, don’t quit cold turkey,” You said to him in a soft manner, seeing him grin widely as you then pointed your spare finger at him, “But, be careful.  I say that to you a thousand times—“

“You’ll say it thousand more, and I will always…always….be careful,” Jack reminded him as he kissed your hand that was against his chest.  You leaned forward to wrap your arms around him, feeling him nuzzle into you.  You knew deep down that he will be careful, that he would avoid the worst to make it back to you.  

He would always come back to you, come hell or high water. 

The End

June Spring Prompts