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commander-rahrah · 6 months

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Talking to the Moon: Part IV

Pairing: Astarion x GN!Reader Word Count: ~4700 Warnings: swearing, PTSD, trauma, past/implied abuse, fluff, angst, emotional hurt/comfort

archiveofourown: here

masterlist: here

part I: here part II: here part III: here

Summary: Set at the end Act II in the Gauntlet of Shar. Shadowheart finally faces Reader/Tav's blessing from Selûne in the temple of her dark mistress.

Notes: We finally got to the angsty part between Reader and Shadowheart muahaha. I've had a couple of these lines stuck in my head FOREVER. Does anyone else play the game and immediately start thinking of the scenario and more detailed dialogue for their specific Tav?? No.. just me? ahaha...

Also — Shadowheart rejects Shar in this, as an FYI. If that isn’t your cup of tea or prefer other decisions, etc. that is your discretion for your own game, etc.! For the purpose of my fic and this specific Tav, that is the route I took and don’t want it to be a debate! 👍🏽 Cause I know that happens in fandom sometimes - and that’s not what this fangirl is about baby!

I also just really really love the idea of letting Astarion and Reader/Tav explore things sloooooooooowly. Like little tiny fingertip touches and touching shoulders. I think that Astarion being emotionally vulnerable with someone first and slowly building up to being physical intimate is just MUAH chef’s kiss.

ANYWAYS Ted talk over — Thank you so much for reading and interacting! It means so much to me ♡♡♡

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“Tell me another thing.”

It was Astarion’s new favorite game — asking for you to confide in him, to tell him about how you see him. The things that made you fall for him.

Each one had made him feel more and more seen. More and more safe. Some had been surprising characteristics he would have never assigned to himself — but you had explained them so earnestly that he couldn’t help but believe you. You had said he was strong, that he had more strength than he realized. That he was funny (obviously). That he was open-minded.

He was collecting the compliments and observations, letting them stroke the flame inside of him that he had long thought dead.

“Hmmm…,” You were sat on the worn, dirty floor leaning against a crumpling wall. The group was taking a moment to rest after another harrowing trial in Shar’s Gauntlet. Squinting your eyes you pretended to study him, before speaking, “I like how materialistic you are.”

“Oh." Something akin to shame flooded through him. "I don’t like this one, pick another.”

A chuckle escaped you, shaking your head. “That’s not how this works.”

The vampire frowned at your laughter, “This one seems like some back handed compliment." He turned his nose up, trying to mask the small twinge of pain spreading in his chest, "Just tell me I’m pretty instead.”

You finally recognized the hurt, the smile vanishing from your face. “Astarion, I swear it's not a backhanded compliment. It’s something I genuinely like.” You sounded earnest, you looked solemn.

He met your wide eyes, nodding as he believed you. “Hmph. Why?”

“Well, you know I come from a noble background… I grew up with certain luxuries and I miss them." You admitted, your nose scrunched. "It’s nice to have someone who also appreciates the finer things in life.”

He realized that you thought it was trivial to admit such things, surrounded by death as you all embarked on a seemingly impossible mission. But you were being honest and vulnerable with him in the broken hallway of the dark temple.

He kept his tone light, smirking at you. “I do have good taste.”

“Excellent taste. You would love the keep I grew up in, the art and amenities…" You closed your eyes as if you imagined them right there. "I dream of them on cold nights on my bedroll.”

“Hmmm, tell me about them tonight when we are holed up in our tent.”

Our tent. A slip of his tongue, but it really had become that way. You rarely were in your own tent anymore, only enough to change and store your things before you were slinking into his.

“I’ll take you there someday and you can see it yourself.”

His eyebrows shot up his face, shock morphing his features. You thought that far ahead? Taking him to see your home? Meeting your family?

You smiled at his reaction, before filling in for his stunned silence. “And… you’re very pretty.”

A puff of air escaped through his nose, his lips quirking. “Oh I know.” He stretched his fingers, before sweeping his thumb across the back of your knuckles. “Thank you," He whispered.

You smiled at his touch, your eyes darting to where his pale fingers met yours.

The pair of you stayed in that quiet moment, until it was broken by the sound of a swear echoing down the length of the crumbling hallway. "Shit!"

Karlach and Shadowheart were sat across the hallway, the tiefling putting on a new bandage across the half elf's small palm — or was attempting to. The cleric had sliced her palm three times now, offering her blood in the name of her dark mistress before every trial. The party had winced every time she did it — but the woman never faltered.

And she didn’t not heal it with her divine abilities, instead letting the wound remain, cutting into it deeper with each trial and then only wrapping it up. She said it was intentional, purposeful pain that her Goddess demanded. And that she alone would pay the price for it.

Astarion had immediately marked the strain in your face as she said it. Knew that you wanted nothing more then to remind her that she was not alone, that she could be anything, anyone she wanted to be.

But the words had remained unspoken. Like you didn't have the right to say them to her anymore.

The vampire was now watching you watch them — studying you once again, trying to decipher how you were feeling. Karlach continued her efforts, but her large fingers fumbled as she tried to tie the knot and the bandages fell off again.

"Godsdammit! Sorry, Princess." She said sheepishly, snatching the bandages up quickly.

"It's okay, Karlach." Shadowheart shook her head, looking down at her hand and squeezing it into a fist. She winced from the pain, a hiss coming from her mouth.

"May I?" Your voice was soft, quiet as a mouse. But not so quiet that Shadowheart did not hear you. She flashed her eyes over to you, her face contorted with genuine surprise. The cleric said no words, instead nodding and offering her hand out.

Astarion remained sitting, watching as you stood up and crossed the hallway to the two women. You knelt before her, bowing your head slightly as you grabbed the bandages and began to wind them tenderly around Shadowheart's hand. If it were another moment, another person, the vampire would be jealous. Wishing he had a wound himself so that you could offer your services and gentle touches.

But this was monumental. Not only was it a rare sight — one blessed by Selûne taking care of one of Shar’s disciples. But it was an olive branch, a silent offering that meant much more then those bandages. An offering of peace and acceptance.

He was sure he saw Shadowheart's eyes lining with silver as you worked, the bob of her throat as she swallowed thickly. With a slight cough, you made to stand back up. "All done." You said in a hushed voice. But before you could stand up, the cleric grabbed your elbow.

"Thank you," She choked out. The gratitude was for more then just this moment, he imagined.

You bowed your head again, "Of course." As you marched back across the hallway, Astarion stood up to meet you. He ducked his head to look at your face, a silent conversation passing between you as your eyes met. An art the two of you had begun to master already.

Are you alright?

I will be.

He blinked and nodded in understanding, before falling into step at your side.

• • •

Every place they explored in the Shadowlands somehow topped the previous wretched place. If Astarion never had to step foot in a temple of Shar again, it would be too soon.

The air surrounding them was freezing, and the hairs on his arms and back of his neck had been standing up for what felt like hours. It felt like eyes were always on him, trailing after your group and judging every step taken.

Glancing behind him, he waited for you to step onto the disc with the rest of the party. You were hesitating on the edge, the smallest tremble in your hand as you stared down at the floor. "Darling?"

Your face shot up, like his voice snapped you back to reality. You looked rattled, completely shaken.

Astarion extended his hand out to you, beckoning you forward. He grabbed your hand easily, pulling you into him with a questioning glance before letting go. The rest of your party was looking at you, worry forming in their features.

You had all but stepped into him, your shoulder pressed into his. He actually didn't mind it one bit.

“You look pale, are you feeling okay?” He kept his voice low, his mouth downturned.

You gathered yourself for a moment, before flashing him a smirk. “I’m pale? Coming from the vampire himself?”

“Ha," He rolled his red eyes. "Trust me, my sweet. I’ve memorized the flush of your features by now — something’s off.”

Your eyes settled on Shadowheart for a moment, before looking down at your boots. “I think it’s being in here… Her gift is straining inside me.”

Her gift, Selûne's blessing. You didn't dare say the Goddess' name in Shar's ruined temple. The rest of the party had heard the tale over the campfire about a week ago. While most of their faces had been filled with awe and astonishment when you had told them then, now their faces were only anxious.

“Oh gods, you’re not going to...?" Wyll trailed off, his brows furrowed together.

“Drop dead? I hope not.” You shrugged, trying to act nonchalant.

“Not funny.” Astarion hissed, flashing you a look. The sentiment was echoed by Gale, chastising you for saying such things.

You quirked your mouth, before wrapping your arms around your torso. "I'll be fine."

Suddenly, there was a loud click and the disc you all stood on began moving — descending deeper into the ruins.

Astarion heard the heartbeats of the entire party begin to increase, the thrumming pounding in his ears. None were as loud as the rhythm of your heart.

Then the scent of your fear filled his nostrils.

He could think of no words, no quips or jokes. The dark ruins had been taxing, draining. And he did not know what to expect at the bottom of this temple.

But he was afraid too. Afraid for you, for both of you.

The disc settled below with another audible click, and as the rest of the party began to move off of it and deeper into the next area you stayed planted where you were.

The vampire stayed with you, eyeing your complexion that was turning paler by the minute. Your breaths labored as you blinked, long and slowly. His red eyes followed your line of sight — to Shadowheart and Karlach.

The half-elf and tiefling were standing before large ornate doors, shoulder to shoulder. Their hands were intertwined, fingers laced together as they continued to stare the door down.

Your eyes were fixed on their hands, before you licked your lips and spoke quietly — only for him to hear. "Would you be okay with that?”

His brows furrowed together in confusion. “With what?”

“A touch like that.”

A bewildered look crossed his features. Here? Now? This is where you wished to discuss such things. Moments before stepping into the unknown darkness of the mistress of night. He stepped in front of you, his back to the rest of the party as he looked you in the face.

“Holding hands? What next, you want to cuddle?” He teased with his sharp tongue.

The smallest twist in your features was your only tell. Anyone else would have missed it — a flash of sadness at his rejection.

He suddenly realized it. Longing. You had been looking at the pair holding hands with longing, yearning to be touched like that right now. "You want that, don't you?"

You stiffened, as if you had said the wrong thing. You stumbled over your words, immediately backtracking, “Not if you don’t want to. I'm sorry, I just thought—“

His eyes softened at your reaction, “You’re upset.”

“No, never." You shook your head, your voice unwavering. "It’s your choice, Starry.”

“I’m not the only person in this—" In this, what? Finish the sentence, Astarion. He thought to himself. "Is it, something you would like to do?”

“Maybe." You licked your lips, before nodding self-consciously. "Yes, but only if you were okay with it.”

“I can try." He whispered sincerely, before looking back over his shoulder to the group. Shadowheart and Karlach remained at each other's side, their fingers still intertwined in a tight grasp. "I just— I don’t really understand it. The touch I’m used to is… sensual, erotic. Or incredibly violent. I thought touch was only supposed to lead to some explosive end, one way or another. What’s the point of it?”

“It’s comforting, holding the person you care about. Feeling their presence with you, when you need it." You admitted, your eyes unguarded as you looked at him.

He recalled how he felt when you had held him in your arms in the river. How he had let his fingers linger and hold onto you as you pulled away from that first hug. The overwhelming urge he had sometimes to just be near you. He could understand that feeling, he knew that feeling now. He just wasn't sure how to act on it.

"I think I'd like that." He agreed, the corners of his mouth pulling up with a hopeful expression. "I will try."

You smiled back at him, the pair of you momentarily forgetting where you stood. What was to happen next. What could happen next.

As you made to finally step off of the disc, he called your name softly — halting your movement. "We will get to try."

It was a promise. A vow.

No dark mistress or Absolute or bastard vampire master would stop him from having you.

You nodded, smiling back at him before moving to join the others.

The group was cautious as they entered into the final chamber, the hundreds of candles in the room suddenly lighting with an eerie purple flame. The coloured flames flickered and cast dancing shadows on the stones around them, all leading to a pool of still water. A ginormous, untouched statue of the Mistress of Night stood in it — her arms outstretched, beckoning you forward.

"This must be the last step. I need to pray. Only by Lady Shar's grace did we even make it this far." Shadowheart fell to her knees immediately, offering silent prayers to the intimidating figure ahead. Karlach stayed loyally at her side, but her brows were crinkled with worry.

Everyone lingered behind, unsure of how to proceed.

"I'm ready." The dark-haired cleric spoke, determination flashing in her features as she stood up. The spear she had fought and bled for in the trials strapped to her back. She held a boot over the unmoving water for a moment, hesitating for a moment before stepping into it.

A voice spoke throughout the chamber, echoing and rattling the stones. The candles flickered with her voice, as if the magnificent voice caused the cold breeze that suddenly filled the room. "You are so close, my child. So close to fulfilling your destiny. And is that another trophy you bring for me? You honor me with your dedication.“

The party turned to stare at you. Shar was aware of who you are, of what lingered in you. Astarion swear he saw Shadowheart’s bottom lip tremble as her gaze fell on you again.

But you put on your practiced expression of calm, nodding at your companions to continue. But as you stood on the precipice of the pool, Astarion noticed your fingers twitching at your side.

It should have been be so easy for him to reach out and hold them, like you said you wanted. He had been daring himself to touch you more lately — a brush of his knuckle against yours, tucking an unruly strand of hair behind your ear. He was trying. He wanted to, so badly.

But something was holding him back. A weight on his chest and lungs that made it feel him feel so tainted and undeserving for such things.

He hesitated for too long, and your hand was moving away as you stepped into the sparkling water. So he took his own steps in. The water was ice cold, instantly sending goosebumps over his entire body. Then a frozen sensation that went deep into his half-dead body. It began clutching at him, at everything he was and ever could be.

His red eyes widened, searching frantically for you beside him — his hand reaching out wildly for you before he was suddenly pulled under.

• • •

The last thing you had seen was Shar’s menacing face —looming over you, spelling your end. A blanket of cold had surrounded you, tightening unbearably around your ankles and wrists before yanking you down into the darkness.

You had never been afraid of the dark before.

You could no longer say that.

With a gasp, you wretched your eyes open to find yourself somewhere new. Standing on a craggy rock, floating in raging winds and surrounded by streaks of lightning. A living storm of black and purple swirling around you.

"Lady Shar...," Shadowheart's voice was quiet — her tone a strange mixture of astonishment and fear. "I can feel her all around. This is her domain. This is the Shadowfell.”

“Bloody hells.” Gale muttered, the wizard's mouth a hardline.

“We best keep moving.” Lae'zel ordered, eyeing the surroundings with a look of disgust on her face.

You all murmured in agreement, before traveling down the precarious craggy rocks until you were at the very bottom. You hesitated at the site of a person— a pale, large woman dressed in only shredded rags.

The Nightsong.

She stood in the centre of several complicated sigils, the symbols radiating a sickly green. Her head flicked up to your group, her eyes narrowing as she inspected every single party member. Before they settled on you, and softened.

“I recognize you." Her voice was hoarse at first, like she hadn't spoken out loud in ages. "You aren’t a sibling… But I recognize you. Why are you so familiar to me?” She cocked her head at you, her eyes studying you. There was a flicker in them — hope.

Her hair shined silver like yours, but her eyes glowed even brighter. Much more than any mortal could. Your mouth fell open as you realized. She was not blessed by a divine being like you, she was immortal herself.

“You are...“

“A child of the gods.” She finished for you, and even clad in nothing but rags she stood tall at the words.

“Selûne’s?”

Your mind raced as you put together the pieces, the ritual on the stone similar to the secret room of Balthazar. Kethric’s undying nature. She was bound here in the Shadowfell — being syphoned like those fairies in the lanterns. And the dark justiciar’s — they used her, killed her like a bounty for their goddess. Over and over. As Shadowheart was meant to do now.

But you. You were bound to nothing, and you were not born from the goddess — only a mortal woman, who feared for her child. A mortal mother who was thousands of miles away, not knowing where her child now stood, not knowing that they were waiting to see if a spear would be driven through their chest too.

"My mother spoke of you once. I don't think that even she knew we would meet." The daughter of Selûne eyes shone with quiet understanding. The flicker of hope in them still catching light somehow in the dark storm in the Shadowfell as she stared at you.

Shadowheart stepped forward, toeing the edge of the ritual symbols carved onto the floor. Her face was stoic, determined. Yet she refused to look at you.

"But you.” The woman’s eyes dragged to the cleric, her voice a vicious snarl. “YOU. You, who have come to seek the praise of your wicked goddess. You, who have come to drive a dagger through my heart."

"Not a dagger — a spear. My Lady Shar's spear. Your fate is mine to seal." You noticed Shadowheart's hands were trembling fists at her side.

"The fate that you seal is your own. To be a Dark Justiciar is to turn your heart from everything but loss. You will know no love, no joy — only servitude." Karlach stiffened next to Shadowheart, concern etching every feature of her red face. "Until, of course, your mistress inevitably discards you. And there is much she does not tell you — a terrible blood price that may extend beyond my own death. Beyond your companion's."

The cleric looked over her shoulder to you, her eyebrows furrowed. You said nothing, keeping your face steady.

But it was the first she looked you in the eyes since you found yourself in the dark place. Truly met your gaze. And the rage and betrayal you had first seen in them that day she learned the truth about you had lost their heat. Instead you saw only pain and regret.

Astarion made to move in front of you, to act as your shield as Shadowheart turned her attention on you. But you waved your hands at your side, silently asking him to stop.

You knew the rest of your party waited with bated breath for you to intervene, to speak up for this woman, for yourself.

But instead, you held Shadowheart’s gaze and waited.

The Nightsong spoke again, drawing her attention away from you. "You may think you know what they are, but do you know what I am, little assassin? For I know you — a lost child, frightened by wolves in the dark."

"What did you say?"

"Much has been promised to you, hasn't it? But what has been taken from you?" She asked sadly, her eyes piercing through Shadowheart. "What do you know of your own heart — your own life? I sense more in you then you know."

"I—" The spear was suddenly summoned into her hand, her light coloured eyes widening as she feels its weight. It was as if Shar would wait no longer, and would thrust the weapon into her hands and guide it through the Nightsong if need be. "I..." She raised it up, inspecting the intricate designs and deadly tip of the spear. The bottom of her eyes filled with silver as she studied it.

And just as fast as it was summoned, it was gone. Soaring over the party's heads, away and into the swirling storm below them.

You let loose the breath you didn't know you were holding.

It was echoed by a sigh of relief from the rest of the party.

Shadowheart's mouth was agape, staring into her empty hands and then to you. A humorless laugh escaped her, like she was in a state of shock. "I can't believe I just did that. Lady Shar will disown me... what will happen to me?"

"Not what will happen — what will you do? Your past is not yet lost. Your future is not yet fixed. Lay a hand on me in friendship, not-quite Sharran, and I will fight the battle that been waiting for me this last century." The large woman knelt before them, bowing her head. "Then — oh then, we will have much to discuss. All of us." She looked up to nod at you, still standing on the edge of the circle.

The cleric stepped forward with more certainty then she had in most of the trials in Shar's Gauntlet. Her head held high before she grasped the child of the god on her shoulder. Suddenly the green of the binding ritual turned into a bright, silver light. The woman fell to all fours as the silver light traveled through her.

"Our lady of Silver. Hear me! She Who Guides, the Moonmaiden Selûne — mother of the so-called Nightsong. THE NIGHTSONG IS NO MORE!" Then she began to levitate in the air, a shining light of white and silver wrapped around her before large wings spread from her back, and spectral armor and sword appearing upon her body and in her hands.

The group was amazed as they watched her fly up and up. Before she landed with a gentle thud.

A child of a god indeed.

"I am resplendent. You have given me a great gift, little warrior." She nudged Shadowheart's chin with a gloved hand, before stepping back. "Come now — there is a battle to be fought."

"My kin," She looked back to you, her eyes and brow set in a determined line. "Are you ready?"

"Ready for what?" You asked, stepping forward until you were at Shadowheart's side.

"To kill Ketheric Thorm." She flashed a wolfish grin that was filled with a controlled rage. Vengeance and justice was to be served by that glowing spectral sword in her hand. With a large woosh, she was soaring into the air and vanishing back to the mortal plane.

• • •

It wasn't until you were out of the Shadowfell, away from Gauntlet and endless depictions of Shar that you all finally spoke.

The cool air of the Shadowlands was welcoming for the first time since you had arrived. Astarion watched as you took large gulps of air, your hands resting on your hips as you centered yourself again. The colour was already returning to your cheeks, your heart slowing to a familiar rhythm.

He made to reach out for you, but Shadowheart got there first. A look of surprise flashed across your face as she threw herself at you. "I don't— I don't know what to say." She muttered into your shoulder.

You swallowed hard before holding her back fiercely, your mouth quivering. "You don't have to say anything. I forgive you."

Astarion blinked. You gave her your forgiveness so easily, much easier then he would have. But wasn't that one of the things he was so fond of? Your kind heart, your innate goodness. That even though he didn't feel he deserved your attention, or that Shadowheart deserved to be forgiven, you still granted it to them. Your kindness was not just for him, but for everyone in the group. The hubris wizard and seasoned fighter who didn't think they were enough. The warlock and barbarian ripped from their homes. The manipulated manipulators who were used and discarded.

“You can't—You can't just forgive me." She pulled away from you, staring at you like you had gone mad. "What I did, what I almost did — I almost didn’t bring you back that day, oh gods—" Her hand moved over her mouth, her brows meeting in the middle.

“But you did.”

“But if I didn’t—" Her voice broke.

You grabbed her by the shoulders, ducking your head to look at her. “But you did. And we will not speak of the past any longer. But we will get you answers for your own, okay?”

"What she wanted me to do in there, what she's made me do..." A sob escaped Shadowheart, the sound breaking something in Astarion. Something that hit a little too close to home. His red eyes flickered to his boots as he tried to keep his own emotion at bay.

Your next words were a whisper in her ear, too low for even his elven ears to hear. But you both nodded together, before Karlach was pulling the cleric into a hug of their own. Pressing a kiss to her forehead, whispering her own affections to her.

Before the vampire could even try to will himself to do the same things for you, you were in front of him. He could see no hint of expectation on your face, only relief as you took him in.

He ran the tip of his finger down your wrist, to the back of your hand, before trailing it in your palm. "That was all a little dramatic, wasn't it?"

A tired chuckle escaped you, "I'd thought you'd learned by now that we have a flair for it, don't we?"

"We certainly do."

Suddenly, flashes of divine white power swept above you, before shooting fast across the sky — the light silhouetting a set of large wings. Without further thinking, Astarion threaded his pale fingers through yours, squeezing them slightly as he watched the light head closer and closer to the imposing tower in the distance.

He gulped as you squeezed back.

Your party watched the sky for a moment, silence filling the air before you all stared at each other. Your tired, aching bodies were begging for rest. But the world would not wait for you to rest.

"To Moonrise?" Gale asked, a sad, tired smile on his face.

"To Moonrise." You nodded, starting to march forward and lead the group forward.

Astarion curled his pinky around yours as you meant to pull away, not quite ready to let you go again.

Read part V here

#bg3 astarion #astarion ancunin #bg3 fanfic #astarion x reader #astarion x gn reader #astarion x tav #astarion/tav #astarion/reader #astarion fanfic

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scribbleboxfox · 5 days

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I feel like I've been a bit harsh towards RvB these past few days. Admittedly, emotions have been running high with the show ending and all that.

I do love the show, and I'm glad we got something of a definitive end. I think if it had happened sooner, it would've made me (and maybe you, too, reader) a lot happier.

Restoration did have its highlights. The voice acting was fun; Caboose's new VA sounded awesome, and honestly Caboose really carried the season for me. It was nice to see some of the newer characters (Dylan Andrews and Agent One) again. It was REALLY nice to see Tex again. I loved the 479er cameo, too.

Now that it's all over, I'm stuck reflecting on the show as a whole and what it meant (and still means) to me. When I first started watching Red vs. Blue, I was pretty depressed. But then Season 13 happened, and suddenly I was writing again, after going through a period where I was certain I'd never tell another story. Not only that, but I was drawing not just for school and work, but for fun! There was a period of time in my life where the only thing I was drawing was RvB-themed art; be it either general fanart or art for my fic. That's changed now, obviously. I've branched out a lot, but I doubt my skills would have improved as much as they did, as rapidly as they did, if I hadn't fallen in love with this show. I also made so, so many friends because of RvB. One of them, I even live with now!

It's funny — sitting back and looking at the big picture, now — how much of my life was shaped by this one show. Where would I be without it? I'm not sure I want to think about it.

Anyways, this is all just a long-winded way of saying "thank you, Red vs. Blue." It wasn't always a perfect show, but I think it's imperfections are a large part of why it has such a creative fandom. And I'm glad I got to be a part of it.

Bow-chicka-bye-now, you funky little space marines. Thanks for everything. <3

#red vs blue #rvb #the fox says #rvb20 #rvb restoration

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ruija · 1 year

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A trip down memory lane - TMNT 2003

So. The 20th anniversary of 2003 Ninja turtles was a little while ago, but I didn’t have time to draw anything for it 👉👈💦 BUT, I wanted to do SOMETHING for it, even a bit late.

For context, TMNT 2003 was my introducion to the franchise. Back when it started airing, I was 9yo and was immediately hooked. I think it’s the series/fandom that has stuck with me the strongest across the years. Even if I’d have long periods, even couple year brakes from it, I always dip back at some point. Usually it’d happen by me suddenly having a dream about the turtles, and then going like “Oh, is it that time again? Guess I’ll go check some fanworks, then.” ANYWAY, I thought it’d be fun to dig up some old art and do some redrawing hehheh. Hopefully yall find these somewhat entertaining, I’ve been equal parts cackling and cringing lmao!

Here we have THE FIRST EVER Leonardo I’ve ever drawn! (Made when I was 9) I’m honestly very charmed and kinda impressed by it. Like, he looks really funky and dynamic! That pose and the way the bandanna tails are flying adds really nice movement and energy to the drawing! It was really fun to use it as a base, because the elements of it were already working well!

Also there’s Splinter I drew around that same time. He also has a lot of funny personality haha! (Sorry Splints for being too lazy to redraw you)

(More art and reminiscing under read more!)

BY THE WAY. I’m FUCKING DEVASTATED that I was not able to find a third drawing I remember from this period. It featured Splinter being drunk while Leo looks on horrified. Why? I don’t know. Little Ruija thought it was really funny I guess. Anyway, here’s an imitation piece for demonstration:

Truly shocking. Bad Parent Splinter AU? (I have a suspicion the original is MIA, because I got too embarrassed by it at some point. But I will not lose hope, maybe it’ll turn up someday🙏)

I think the next time I drew fanart of ninja nurtles was when I was 11-12yo and joined Devianart. The account I used to have doesn’t exist anymore, so I wasn’t able to recover files from that time. My only hope is to come across some originals in my old art folders 💦 💦 I have really fond memories from that time. Was quite active in the Sonic and TMNT fandom.

This was drawn when I was 13, I think. I’m sensing... a bit of a fictional crush there. And- Wait a minute. Is that...? ENHANCE

DONNIE?!

Biblically accurate recreation.

Karai from same time period. It’s probably a lesser known fact, that in several iterations, she’s usually among my fave characters.

Grumpy Raph my beloved! This is from when I was 14. Those thighs are tragically skinny! This obviously had to be rectified.

Somewhere in the 14-15yo range. I think I had already picked up a special fondness for Leo+Mikey dynamic <3

And then... I got kind of a whiplash when this piece jumped out from my folders:

What a weird experience. I guess this particular visual spoke to me even 13 years ago.

Well, here’s another one to the pile.

Last piece has a bit of a timeskip! It’s from 2013 ( I was 18yo) and the original post is actually on this blog!

I’ve actually been wanting to redraw this piece anyway, but with my HC of Donnie being really tall, haha. (I keep squinting at Leo and how he turned out very femme in this... Oh well, he/she’s just rocking some transswag)

PHEW! This was fun! Made me feel extremely fond, thinking about how excited my younger selves would be to see these redrawings haha.

Earlier I said I didn’t have any works archived from my old DA account, but surprisingly I had a couple screenshots like this:

Back then (2005-2007 in this case) personal websites were common, including ones dedicated to fandom-content. A Japanese tmnt fan going by Sakan-san also had one called FREAKfreak. (She was also on DA) Her art was gorgeous and I thought she was like the best and coolest tmnt artist ever.

Her webpage had this PAINTchat on it and both Japanese and Western fans would gather there to draw together. Sakan-san would often post the collabs in her gallery afterwards. There were a couple times I was able to join a session with them too, which I was over the moon about! (In the screenshot the bottom right segment was mine lol). It was really cool, that they included a novice artist with extremely broken english amongst them.

Seeing these screenshorts made me remember how much I admired Sakan-san and wanted to draw like her. And then realizing, that now I can✨

Another memorable interaction from that time is when I was chatting with some older fans. By the time I got on DA, my country had only dubbed and aired the first two seasons of the 2003 series. I kept seeing fanart of Leo with his shellscar and got curious. I asked the others where he gets it.

They told me he put dynamite on it.

And then said it’s better if I go watch the episodes myself. Fortunately I was able to find and watch rest of the series after that, haha.

Maybe that’s enough reminiscing for now! Thanks for the company and all the lovely memories TMNT 2003 <3

I hope you all can also keep creating and having fun within this fandom, for years to come! 💙❤️💜🧡💚

#tmnt #tmnt 2003 #leonardo #michelangelo #master splinter #raphael #donatello #oroku karai #long post #redraw #old art

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camilaxmartin · 2 months

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gonna put them emoji’s again💀😭 so it would be: 🥑🍬🌸🐝🎨🍄

I love using these TOTALLY USEFUL emoji’s so I picked em🥰

you don’t use avocado/bee/mushroom everyday? what are you even doing?��

BUT ANYWAY

🥑: you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

probably @bunnylove1 and @blookyag, idk why tho honestly, just getting the vibes they’d help somebody out with hiding the body💀 (it’s a compliment, i swear-)

🍬: post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character:

okay uhh- (don’t cancel me plz) i respect with my whole heart that alastor is asexual and (?) aromantic but i don’t get the hate people receive when shipping him with someone? as far as i know being on the spectrum means he can still date? like i know, he doesn’t show any interest in that but if its just for a silly au or for a cool drawing then what’s the fuss about? i’m not talking like about erasing that part of him because that’s a big no no for me, but like…? respecting it but still having fun with his character? i saw a great tiktok explaining my thoughts exactly so maybe i’ll link it here if i can find it (add the link here later camila:) (besides all that i project a lot of myself onto alastor (still debating if im aromantic or not) and i want to explore myself with his character (if i can even phrase it that way) so all the hate and shit really bother me, you know?)

(another thing more about whole thing not a character is that “whatever it takes” is in my top 4 songs and i don’t get the hate it gets?? i love this song?? it’s so great?? two latina (?) girls singing together?? cmon??)

🌸: do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them:

i do actually! i have a dog and three rats:) (also had a rabbit but he died not so long ago and he was like my whole world so i got a tattoo to remember him, i’ll add it as well just because i can)

🐝: tag your biggest supporters and say one nice thing about them:

@kimmyisachiisaiakuma - ugh of course?? like in my head we are already besties fr fr, what can i saaaay😭 idk i love you and how supportive and just friendly you are!!:) and god of course, i love your art?? but i’ve already said it a thousand times??? so here’s one thousand first??

@bunnylove1 - just how supportive you are towards my stuff and how with exactly one request i felt like we also became besties? maybe it’s just me but yeah😭

@blookyag - liking my every post and responding to every single one of them!!! she’s a treasure, really. i’m surprised someone cares about my rambling this much💀

@informist - i’ve noticed that she’s also reacting to a lot of my stuff and she’s so quick with it like?? idk it makes my heart jump okay? i love attention from people even when it��s just my stupid rambling😭 (#iamanattentionwhore 😗😗)

@rougecreator1 - liked a lot of my posts as well, and somehow i feel like they enjoy my stuff? idk tho?😭😭 yeah just noticed interactions in my activities:)

@riveramorylunar - i feel like we were more active on each other’s accounts when i was still in my lady lesso era, but idk i really liked you then and i still love seeing your stuff pop up on my main page:)

and of course, all of my lovely anons who send me their ideas that i can’t wait to write!!:)

🎨: link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it:

okay so like it changes every day?? but for now i must say this one:

click!

why? simple. a. brokerdoll b. the marvellous style? c. i want to draw like that d. just… just look at it okay? e. lesbians.

(and a special mention for THIS as well, as it’s the first time someone ever drawn my oc and besides the fact that she looks so pretty here it’s just… idk i just love it okay, she stole my heart)

🍄: share a headcanon for one of your favourite ships or pairings:

let’s start with the fact that i even have a favourite account for all the headcanons about brokerdoll which is @vypridae (adore all the hcs, really)

buut! my personal headcanon is:

• carmilla didn’t really expect to fall for velvette, i mean in my head she just saw her as so… respectless and dumb and stupid and careless and carefree and wild and free and pretty- wait

yeah, so in my head velvette was the first to initiate anything and at first carmilla was like “ha! no way, you stupid girl” but then she started to think more and more about velvette as the time went on and one day she just got along the fact that she might be attracted to the young overlord and somehow… went with it? like she didn’t make a big deal out of it… but velvette definitely did, despite the fact she was actually the first one to say or act on her attraction in any way.

(i need to write more headcanons for them, they’re literally eating up my brain)

#camilarambles #ask camila!#camilaanswersasks #brokerdoll

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turtleneck-crowley · 2 months

Text

Wake up babes of the GO fandom turtleneck-crowley just dropped their most recent Magnus Opus🥰🥰🥰

Hey guys I am a eccentric genius artist of the century whose works will probably only be appreciated post mortem (self-diagnosed)

Im also very certain you would all blorbos me if I were a fictional character but alas I am a boring meat package that got birthed out of an afab physiology and thus a sack of mouldy potatoes might have been a more interesting source writing this post. (Pure hubris, part irrational resentment that you are all quite familiar with *cheeky hot wink*)

I happen to own a get out of jail free card called catch 22 which is crafted out of part sarcasm, part idgasinglefgtfoofmyfacei180dmycringethroughyearsofpainandselfrelctionthatim toocoolforyounow public image

(if you actually read that you deserve, well nothing actually except perhaps my condolences and a consensual pat on the back that implies my unlicensed diagnosis that you are in fact, not dyslexic)

Anyhow cracking on back to the sentence *sighs and rolls eyes with you*

(-I mean in the streets, not with you guys, here im babygirl with half a brain cell/true form), part wholesome idiocy, years of experience in masking, part looking presentable, part knowing how society and science and art works and trying to be in tact with my own sense of humanity as much as possible -at least to the point where I’m not breaking any humanitarian law…

And yes bitch the whole eccentric genius /madly passionate or passionately mad paradox catch 22 license holder is you af - want a gold star? ⭐️ (crowley ref) (affectionate banter)

Fact is tumblrinas like to heighten and balance their EQ and IQ agreed?

I’m hyper aware that you guys are smart enough to assess me as going through a manic phase that is on the verge of psychotic-having observed hints of madness in my recent posts deducing via your own experiences that I have gone through a strict diet of coffee, whiskey, smut that Neil Gaiman himself would tear his locks and Sir Terry Pratchett would roll in his grave, finished off with a nice slice of Hozier songs as dessert

(that’s on top of of a yet to be discovered food chain which I call the Antichrist diet footnote: please credit me after I die before my Tesla gets Edisoned

‘Tis actually a great alternative way to invoke a psychedelic experience in substitute of the more expensive and questionably unlawful way that is smoking crack *disclaimer not recommended for the faint hearted or those self-diagnosed as mentally stable)

You are perfectly correct! Here’s another gold star!!! ⭐️

In fact I am currently being yelled by my parents to come downstairs because I need to be dropped off to the asylum while I’m trying to actually do something that gives me joy (Joan of Arc eat your heart out) and I assure you I have eyes and witness my very legs , naked and hairy (and did I mention Im only wearing a slutty black bra and skirt that I wore as a swimming suit AND a pajama and now my back to the looney bin outfit?) leaving a perfectly good soup with baguettes as evidenced here

However, I would like to UNO reverse such a caring notion by giving you a purple heart 💜

and divert you with a fun little clip that displays our para social relationship that I am hoping has deepened through my superficial charm to portray our rendezvous as warm and familiar and human as our beloved Mr. Holmes and Doctor Watson:

No worries, Watson also came with the conslusion that the person he’s engaged with (more like to amiright- not us i mean, them, that’s where the analogy is cut off back into our real identities) is “not human”

Anyhow it might not be your cup of tea but at least hold the mug for a few minutes it’s worth it

Head fic: Gods of Sex and Idiocy

(If anything please see it as a game where we can title it better cause I’m shit at naming things - I call one of my plants Joe)

Hey Good Omens fandom

With the note of:

“who needs sane when you have creative”

-turtleneck-crowley

I have made a meta season 3 in my head and the stars have even sent me a playlist ??? (It’s the only one that seems to be downloaded on my wifi less phone)

Here’s the link:

Check out some of my latest posts

It’s really immersive and otherworldly

Down the rabbit hole and through the mirror you go 🐇🎩🪄

And what if season 1 is the ace route and season 2 is the sexual route so season 3 might be an aro route to defeating the enemy?

Ngk idk idc idgaf

I’m just like phone rn

(side note: why do I have the infinite capacity of taking pains (Sherlock reference) for being a mad artist instead of working on the next big physics formula answer? Good question: I’m actually just an emotional idiot aka sexy trash ✨ that’s addicted to blogging and I wouldn’t trade it for any other praise worthy status in the world 💜)

Honestly guys I sound like a sociopath but I’m really just very pained and fucked royally by circumstance that is too dramatic and gay for anyone except the loonies on tumblr to understand. I’m so disappointed by all this unjust pain and agony of the world- the children, the animals, the environment, the people that I have conditioned myself to display an eloquence so pungent it seems like I’m a cold manipulator. For if I ever showed myself for who I was to them- the judgers, the perverted, the scheming, I would surely be dead either by my own or someone else’s hands. Maybe I’m God and they just like tumblr and good omens and want to eat crepes in peace with the personality they split into 2 -preferably in Paris. Maybe they have been placed all the blame by the enemy and they are powerless to the human condition as you all are by an unknown enemy and is fated to be tortured in anxiety and pain invisible to all and the only infinite power they have is love that bleeds.

But I’ll give you and I both the peace of mind that I am an in fact just a mentally ill human whose life span is between the zones of expiration and fermentation, with a god complex, whom their closest people will never truly know how to care no matter how much they try- and in fact the more they try to help me the more they leave me in my original state- alone.

I leave you (no I’m not killing myself you idiot I’m going to the mental hospital to be molested by nightmares of demons - I literally experience it everyday- as they force me to take my sleeping pills which sinks me deeper into it-oh wait that’s kind of worse lmao) with this favorite piece of classical music of mine

Stay safe yall I love you

#good omens #crowley #good omens fandom #Spotify #aziraphale #good omens headcanons #catch 22 #my only talent is lying (aka calling madness creativity and convincing people I’m intelligent and attractive)

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snek-panini · 7 months

Text

It's been a few weeks since I had new books to share, but I finally got photos taken of the newest ones so today's the day. Here, have a book:

This is Across Tides and Currents, a Good Omens siren AU by Sodium_Azide and @doorwaytoparadise (hi. I hope I tagged you right). My favorite thing about this AU is that, at its heart, it's about learning to communicate with someone who is so different from you that you can't even physically speak each other's language, and yet you've still got so much common ground that you find a way. It's way lighter and more fun than that description makes it sound, though, so go read it if that's your thing.

The cover on this is Lineco book cloth, scrapbook paper printed to look like leather, and blue foil htv. The foil was actually a nightmare to do. The first time I applied it, it wouldn't stick no matter what I did, and the bits that did stick peeled off as soon as I touched them. I had to peel them up very carefully, cut a new image, and try again. Thankfully it worked the second time but I don't know that I'll be using the foil type again unless there's no other way to get the color I want. The non-foil metallic was so much easier to work with.

More book photos under the cut!

I went with a coptic bind for this one for a few reasons. The first was that I wanted to try one on a quarto-size book to see if I could. I also wanted to try the mitered corners thing I did when I bound Strange Moons, and see if I could have the same effect on the interior. (That bit didn't work out so well; the front is fine but I mismeasured the inside and the lines didn't match up, so I trimmed some pieces of cardstock to cover that up. I really like the layered look though, so that's fine. It's quirky.) The third reason is that not long before I decided to bind this one, the authors published a new chapter after two years of no updates. That's the best possible reason to have to change plans, and the glueless bind means that if they ever do that again I can just redo the stitching to add more pages. Win-win.

Getting whimsical with title pages here. This took way longer than I thought it would, probably because I don't like graphic design and I did it in Word where I do the rest of my typesetting. Usually what I do is grab an image and put text around it or on top of it and then just play with fonts and sizes, but this time I drew the lines and then made the text follow them. This is the first time I've used the word art feature since...probably 2009? I'd forgotten how. I have no doubt there are better ways to do this but if I'd had to learn a new program at that point I'd have quit. And I do think it was worth it--it's cute and fun and looks about how I imagined it.

Couple of photos of the inside. Sorry the first one's blurry, I had someone trying to get my attention when I took these. The section break image came from rawpixel, I just made it gray instead of black so it's more subtle. The fic has very nice illustrations that I specifically got the artist's permission to print and then I failed to get any photos of them when I did my little photo shoot. They look very nice, though. I swear.

The last image is something I've started including in my latest books. I'm calling them "A Note from the Bookbinder" and it's basically just me talking about why I chose that story, the experience of reading it for the first time, stuff that's going on in the fandom, stuff about the process like the new chapter coming out as I was preparing to print. It's kind of...like marginalia? Part of fanbinding is preservation and that's linked to archival work, and something I know archivists love is marginalia and diaries. I don't like writing in my books and I've never found any fun in journaling, but sometimes that kind of context is important so I'm trying to add it. Someday, decades from now, I may not remember all the details, so I'm trying to preserve them. IDK, this got philosophical on me. Go read about mermaids now. Promise it's a good time.

#bookbinding #fanbinding #snek makes books #good omens #fic rec #i wanted to do this as a mermay project #that did not happen #i finished it in october #happy mertober

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abbeyofcyn · 11 months

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greetings! this is more on art stuff but i have to ask: how do you post stuff online without being afraid? i draw a lot and i do want to share my art but theres this very big and very loud part of me that is very insecure about it and i end up not posting it despite my friends encouraging me to do so. would love some tips if youre willing to share.

also your art is really nice (love love your concepts and how you execute them), youre one of the rottmnt artists on this site that actually pushed me to do comics in general lol

The secret is....that I am afraid of posting art.

Still am, but it gets easier.

I guess what I can give you is this quote I once read (where I cannot remember...)

"You can only be brave when you're afraid" and I always try to remember that when I do things I think are scary. I'm a very anxious person so I get to be brave a lot haha.

One of the first rottmnt comics I came across was by @/kathaynesart and it made me sob like a baby and made me want to contribute to the fandom and make others feel things even if it was just going to be a handfulof people. So I had motivation to post and face my fear.

When I first posted I ignored the app for a day and I don't get notifications on my phone. I also tend to plan in my art when I am either not able to look at my phone or while I'm asleep. It helps me on several levels.

I have to be honest though, it really really helps to get feedback from people in the form of tags and comments. You already have friends here so you've got a great start! (At least I assume they are on tumblr) My friends were there at the start too to encourage me although they're barely on tumblr.

In conclusion. It's okay to be afraid, find your motivation to share your art, check if it helps to post while you are away from your device and let your friends continue to encourage you.

So, although you are on anon, let me know when you post art. I'd love to see it and leave a comment or tag!

#ask abbey #I hope this helped anon #you remind me very much of myself #I'm even afraid to give bad advice haha #brains really do be crazy sometimes

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ellethespaceunicorn · 1 year

Text

Bright Like The Moon: Chapter 8

Chapter 8: I Was So Much Younger Yesterday

Rating: Explicit, 18+, Minors - DNI

Fandom: Night Hunter

Pairing: Walter Marshall x Black!OFC

Word count: 3K

Summary: Kamaria Mansfield is hired at the Minnesota Police Department as an intern. Detective Walter Marshall is overworked and unsatisfied. Takes place post-film.

Chapter Summary: It’s time to celebrate Faye’s 16th birthday. Also, Walter works out a way for Kam to practice expressing her needs.

Chapter warnings: crying, Daddy kink(if you don’t like this, turn back now because damn), slight dumbification kink, oral (f receiving), vaginal fingering, p in v sex, creampie, creampie tasting, the term ‘cumslut’ used lovingly

A/N: New Story Art! *cheering and applause* Now, it’s time to get to serious business. Um, I like Angie. And I wrote her like I see her. Also, this chapter gets quite kinky so heed those warnings, please. Un-beta’d, we die like people who tried their best.

Dividers: @firefly-graphics

Support/Reblog banner by me

Cover Art by me, model for Cover Art credits

Cross-posted on AO3

Spotify Playlist

Series Masterlist

My Masterlist

Kamaria’s POV

Three Months Later

“...Happy Birthday dear Faye, Happy Birthday to You!”

We all cheer as Faye blows out her sixteen candles. Her parents stand by and film their child celebrating with her friends. Angie starts to cut the cake and gives Walter slices to hand out. They work so well together. You’d never know they went through such a rough separation.

Sweet Faye with her curls and her chubby cheeks, looking for all the world like the baby she was. Her purple cocktail dress matches the flower in her hair that I helped her with.

It was nice to feel like a part of the team, working with Walter and Angie on organizing the party for Faye. But, let’s face it, it was mostly me and Angie doing the planning and Walter nodding along. Angie and I got along well enough, I think she just appreciated that I cared about Faye and that meant more than anything.

Angie says goodbye to the last guests leaving while I finish tidying up Faye’s gift haul. She dozes on the couch curled up on Walter who is snoozing as well. Angie moves a blanket over both of them and comes to help me clear away dishes and any lingering trash.

“I have to thank you for helping out with Faye earlier. She’s in that stage where everything I say is just not ‘cool’ enough,” Angie wipes her hands on a dish towel and looks from Faye’s sleeping form to me, “I remember this time in my life where my little girl valued my opinion above all else. And now it’s like she chooses the exact opposite of what I suggest.”

“Don’t worry. She’ll realize one day that she is so lucky to have a mother who actually wanted her,” I squeeze my eyes closed, deciding to open this old wound, “My mom never wanted to be a mother and she made that abundantly clear by leaving me and my Dad when I was a kid. He was never emotionally available so I had some interesting times in life, to say the least. But, just know that I’m sure she’ll come around. It may be in a year or two, but for now, you have a Daddy’s girl on your hands.” I laugh, trying to lighten the mood.

I don’t notice Angie coming to my side until she puts a reassuring hand on my shoulder. Having a loving mother next to me offering me comfort is suddenly too much to handle and my eyes start to blur from unshed tears. I begin to protest my emotional reaction but then Angie speaks.

“It doesn’t make you weak to cry when you’re upset.”

Her hushed words are like a soothing balm on a decades-old burn. One shaky breath is all I take before the tears are streaming down my face. Angie’s face crumbles as well and she wraps her arms around me. I realize that it has been a long time since I’ve had a “Mom hug” and I cling to that warmth as I quietly weep.

When my sobs turn into sniffles, Angie rubs my back in calming circles. We separate and she cups my cheek in a display of affection. I nod and smile in appreciation before taking a deep breath to collect myself.

Walter and Faye pick this moment to finally wake up. Thank goodness for small favors, they missed my little moment. I wipe my eyes and face quickly before smiling at my boyfriend and his daughter. While Faye is none the wiser, I can see the gears working behind Walter’s eyes. He can always see right through me, but he won’t make his suspicions known until we’re alone. Something I truly love about him, he is not a scene-maker.

I walk over to Faye and give her a big hug before sitting down next to Walter and holding his hand. “How did we do on your big day, sweetheart? I’ll take you falling asleep as you had quite a time.”

“It was perfect. It was everything I wanted. Thanks, Mom and Dad. Thank you, Kam.” The grin never left her sweet face. It is all worth it to see her happiness.

“You’re welcome, love,” Walter cupped Faye’s face and she beamed back at him. Truly a Daddy’s girl.

“Alright, birthday girl. You are welcome to stay up as long as you like. Just for tonight, that is,” Angie walks over to us and kisses the top of Faye’s head before smiling at Walter and me, “I am going to bed. Thank you both for your help today. Goodnight.” She pats my shoulder before heading upstairs.

If Walter notices our non-verbal exchange, he doesn’t mention it.

“Alright, girlfriend. Who was that adorable kid with the curls? He was cute.” I can’t help but make Faye blush and make Walter roll his eyes. It’s like my talent.

“That was Albert. He’s in my English class. He likes Federico García Lorca and Mission: Impossible movies. That’s all I needed to know.”

“Which means he either knows enough to seem intelligent or enough to actually be intelligent,” I smile and yawn before stretching.

“On that note, I think it’s time for us to get home and for you to get to bed.” Walter ends the conversation without adding his two cents about this Albert kid. Faye gets the hint and follows suit.

“Yeah, I’m tired anyway. Thanks again, you guys.” Faye yawns sympathetically.

Walter and I leave after hugs and final birthday wishes. On the car ride back to his place, Walter decides to bring up his worries.

“So, did something happen while Faye and I were out?” He broaches the topic carefully.

“Angie was feeling a bit left out of her daughter’s life. I simply told her that she has a Daddy’s girl on her hands.” I smile at the side of Walter’s face and look back at the road.

Walter surprises me by pulling the car over and turning to face me. “You want to try that again, Princess?” The pet name is enough to put my brain in gear and answer fully.

“I told Angie about how my Mom never wanted me. And then I cried. A lot.” I hated how he was so good at getting me to say what I didn’t want to say. But I had to respect his abilities.

“Why do I always have to work so hard at getting the truth out of you, Princess?” He reaches over to hold my chin between his thumb and forefinger, “You’ll work on that tonight, do you understand?”

“Yes, Daddy. I understand.” Suddenly out of breath, I slip into subspace with ease.

Walter’s POV

I love this woman, I do. But there is nothing harder than getting her to face her emotions. Getting her to tell me when she’s dealing with sadness or anxiety is like pulling teeth. I have literally been in the line of fire before. But getting her to admit when she has cried is harder than any S.W.A.T. mission I have ever been on.

We get back to my place and after her shower, I instruct her to stay undressed. I have her sit on the bed against the headboard. While I undress, I deny her the ability to touch herself. I watch her squirm while I slowly remove my last piece of clothing.

My dick throbs between my legs as I lock eyes with her. She licks her lips and fights the urge to reach out and touch. I settle on her punishment and a little piece of me actually feels sorry for her. This one might wreck her.

“Since it’s so hard for you to be honest about your feelings, we’re going to work on that tonight. You have to express when you have needs. All you have to do is tell me what you need when you need it. You must use your words, Princess. Is that clear?” I cross my arms and look down at her.

“Yes, Daddy.”

“Good girl,” I smile as the praise washes over her, “How do you feel about restraints, baby?”

She shifts on the bed a bit and plays with her hands. “I like being restrained.”

“Good,” I reach into my nightstand and pull out a silk sash before beckoning her to sit at the edge of the bed, “Put your hands together for me, palm to palm,” She does as she’s told and I tie her hands together. “How does that feel? Not too tight?”

“Feels fine,” She scrunches up her nose and looks up at me, “I won’t be able to touch you, though.”

“Yeah. That’s kind of the point, Princess,” I push lightly on her shoulder so she lays down flat and her hands stretch above her head, “Just lie back and let me work. And you tell me when you need more or less, alright?”

She nods and I raise my eyebrows. “Yes, I’ll tell you what I need.”

“Good girl.” I lean down and capture her lips in my own. I poke at the seam of her mouth until she lets me enter. I lick into her mouth, tasting and sucking on her tongue. Moving my kisses to her jaw then to her neck, I suck and bite at her sweet spot until she lets out that precious little moan of hers.

Trailing my tongue across her clavicle, I kiss down her chest and lavish attention on her breasts. These perfect fucking tits I love so much. I kiss both nipples and knead the soft flesh but don’t go any further until I hear a whine. “Use your words, Princess. What do you need?”

“Your tongue…can you suck on my nipples, please?” Her breathing speeds up.

“That’s my good girl.” I swirl my tongue around one nipple while running my thumb over the other. I suck the pebbled peak into my mouth and tease it with my tongue. Suckling at her for a few moments more, I switch to the other side to give just as much attention. I feel her thighs rubbing together in search of friction, so I kiss down her soft belly, stopping to nip at her hips.

Pulling her legs apart, I can finally see my prize. I want to dive right in, but this is an exercise to have Kamaria tell me what she needs so instead I kiss at her inner thighs for far longer than I normally would have to prove a point.

“Daddy, please eat my pussy.” She pleads, moving her hips closer to my face. Such a good girl for me, and I tell her as much before I kiss her mound and then slide my tongue up and down her wet slit.

“Fuck! You taste amazing, Princess.” My hands grip her thighs tight before I begin to lap at her like a man starved. Her sweet nectar is more than enough to satisfy me and I want to drink her in and never look back. Her whimpers only make me work that much harder. Sucking on her clit, I let my tongue dance against the swollen bud and am rewarded with a squeal.

“Need your fingers, please.” Such a polite little thing, isn’t she?

“Yes, baby.” I reward her good manners with two fingers straightaway. She’s soaked and they slide in easily. We both groan and I massage that inner bundle of nerves before returning my attention to her clit. I flick my tongue on her button before working my fingers in and out of her core.

“Just like that, don’t stop!” Her words go straight to my dick and I curve my fingers. Before long, I can feel her channel clamp down on my fingers but I keep working at her as her juices coat my hand.

“Too much, too sensitive!” She cries, her body shaking under me. I lift off her clit and still my fingers before licking them clean and wiping them on the comforter.

“You did so good, Princess,” I kiss up her body and nibble at her neck, “But I’m not done with you yet, baby.” I get up from my spot between her legs and move her to the center of the bed. Maneuvering her on her side, I slide up behind her and lift her leg. I enter her swiftly and we moan in tandem.

I pull back out until just the tip is inside then I slam back in. Gripping her hip, I start a punishing pace inside her walls. The way her cunt squeezes me is like paradise. She was made to take my dick. I was made to claim her pussy.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck,” All she can utter is a string of curses and I feel triumphant that I fucked language right out of her brain.

“That’s right, Princess. Let this dick fuck you stupid, baby,” No sooner do I finish that sentence do I feel her walls flutter around me, “Oh does my baby like being fucked dumb on Daddy’s dick?” The answering whine tells me all I need to know. Adding ‘dumbification’ to the list of kinks my baby girl has.

Pulling out and moving Kam onto her back, I get to my knees and push her legs open, Entering her again, I reach up and hold her bound hands in one fist. From this angle, I can slam into her and stimulate her clit at the same time.

“Need to…touch you. Please…Daddy?” Her words are punctuated by thrusts, the look of yearning in her eyes.

I pull the knot free on the sash. Her hands immediately go to my hair to tug me down for a kiss. I can taste her desire and hunger for closeness. I growl into her mouth and she whimpers back. Her legs wrap around my waist and pull me in deeper. We pull apart from the kiss and rest our foreheads together.

“Tell me what you need, baby girl.” At this point, I am panting. So close to release. I just need to hear her say she needs it.

“Look at me while you cum inside me, Daddy,” This little brat actually smiles up at me as she shatters me.

“Fuck!” The dam breaks and my hold on reality fucks all the way off. My eyes search hers while I empty my balls into her waiting cunt. I keep stroking inside her and the sensation is heightened once I feel her come around me. She could gonna be the death of me, and I’d love every minute of it.

I lean down and slot our mouths together as I pull out. I swallow her whimper at the feeling of emptiness before I look down to see her thoroughly ruined snatch. My cum still leaks out and I can’t help but feel proud to see her so full. I smile down at her before getting up from the bed.

I clean up a bit in the bathroom before fetching a damp washcloth. Entering the room again, I find Kam lazily playing with herself. “Enjoying yourself, Princess?” I reach down and clean her gently.

“I love how sensitive I am right now. It feels so good.” Her eyes roll back in her head as my hand moves over her folds.

“Do you think you can give me one more orgasm, Princess?” I know I might be pushing it, but seeing her so aroused is making it worth asking.

“Yes, please, Daddy. I wanna cum again for you.”

That was all I needed to hear before I’m between her legs again. I lean down to lap at her slit. Tasting my spend and her juices mixed together is heavenly. Can’t believe I’ve never done this before. By the surprised moans coming from Kam, I’d say she was enjoying this as well.

After making out with her pussy for a while, my fingers find their way inside her tight wet heat. Curving my fingers as I move them in and out, I’m rewarded soon after with a strangled moan and her walls fluttering around my fingers. I wait until the convulsing stops to remove my fingers. A dirty thought enters my head and I run with it.

“Open your mouth, Princess,” As she follows direction, I lock eyes with her as I put my slick-coated fingers in her mouth until they disappear, “Such a good girl for me. Sucking our cum off my fingers like the hungry little cumslut you are.”

She moans around my fingers and if I didn’t literally just cum a liter, I’d be balls-deep in her again. When I remove my fingers from her mouth, she actually whines in protest. I can’t help but kiss that adorable pout before grabbing the washcloth again to wipe away the evidence of her arousal.

I throw the cloth in the hamper and lay down next to my love. I check her wrists to make sure the sash didn’t dig in too deep before kissing her forehead. “How’s my baby feeling?”

“I feel amazing. Spectacular,” She stretches and cuddles into my chest as I wrap an arm around her, “I think that was the best sex I’ve ever had.”

“I’m right there with you. I probably fried a few brain cells but it was so worth it,” I hold her chin and bring her gaze up, “I’m also proud of you for saying what you needed. Now, we just have to get you to do that out of the bedroom.”

“Practice makes perfect, right?” There’s my little brat.

“Cheeky. But not wrong. We’ll work on it together, yeah?” I say, pulling the comforter over both of us as Kam’s eyes start to close, “Love you, Princess.”

“Mhm,” Her short answer lets me know that she is absolutely fucked out and I’m chuffed, “Love you, Daddy.”

Her fingers work their way through my chest hair, something I’ve noticed as a comfort activity for her. If I was a cat, I’d be purring every time she does it. But if she ever found out how much I liked it, she’d probably use it against me somehow. Little minx.

I listen as her breathing evens out and I’m not far behind. I can safely say today was a good day. Nothing can ruin this feeling.

Can it?

Chapter 9

A/N: Ehehehe, that ending sounded menacing at all, did it…? Well, anyway. This chapter’s song was “Starving” by Hailee Steinfeld & Grey. “Starving” is about a relationship that’s getting more adventurous in and outside of the bedroom. I really enjoy writing in Walter’s POV, especially the kinky stuff. Hopefully, you enjoyed it too.

**Tag List**

@brattymum96 @ambinxe @avengersfan25 @kebabgirl67

@enchantedbytomandhenry @astheskycries

@deandoesthingstome @liveoncoffeeandflowersss @foxyjwls007 @rosiesluv7 @livisss @slut4henrycavilll

Let me know if you wanna be added (or removed) 😁

#walter marshall #walter marshall fanfic #walter marshall x black!plus size female #walter marshall x black!plus size female oc #walter marshall x ofc #walter marshall x black!ofc #ellethespaceunicorn fanfic #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill #walter marshall fanfiction #walter marshall fic #night hunter #night hunter fanfic #night hunter fanfiction #bright like the moon

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cassidysparacosm · 6 months

Text

(SERIOUS) TW: Stalking, Abuse

My blog is being stalked.

I wish i didn’t have to make this post. The way it should’ve gone, everything should have been moved on now with those who needed to be blocked, blocked. But due to the fact i’m now once a week being reminded of how i’m being stalked, i can’t ignore this situation any longer.

TLDR: @/Disableddeinosaur aka Beanie starting drama within 2 servers and threatening to harass users if they disagreed with their opinions. 1 year after banning them they continue to remind me that they’re stalking me.

Further explained context below.

Context: In late 2021 i joined an amphibia discord server. The people there were nice, and i enjoyed being there. The moderator, Beanie, known as Mossy at the time, was also part of this group. They seemed suprised when i mentioned i was born the year pokemon diamond and pearl came out, but i didn’t think much of it at the time.

It is important to know that Beanie often hid behind a mask of promoting good ideals such as exposing racism and ableism in fandom circles.

I was also in another discord server with many of my now tumblr mutuals, the syrup arc server. This was a roleplay server where we’d make tupperbots for amphibia characters from AUs we’d made and have fun with them. Back to beanie’s server, a channel had been made where we talked about amphibia blogs on tumblr that had… well, questionable art. This ranged from full on implied NSFW to just aus that beanie didn’t like, such as the Moth mAnne au by Missakat. They claimed giving Anne Boonchuy and Marcy Wu from the amphibia series blue and green eyes respectively was racist, and blacklisted artists who did. I internally disagreed with this, but never expressed it. Why? Because Beanie was older than me. I’m not exactly sure how old specifically, but they had a job that looked like it required some experience and their suprise at my age indicated that they were an adult at least. I disgreed with them wanting to call out creators for the wrong eye colors, but i agreed that creators who are actively racist or ableist definitely deserve to be exposed.

Exposing creators we didn’t like was encouraged in Beanie’s server, so here we come to the first event. I found an amphibia artist who drew what is basically vore, but would deny if asked and refuse to tag for people who were uncomfortable. Beanie expressed to me that they already knew of this person, as they’d had a negative interaction in the past so both were aware of each other. I was encouraged to join the nsfw artist’s server, to act as a spy and screenshot and report back any uncomfortable behaviour they made. It’s worth noting i did make the choice to join myself, but why Beanie didn’t try send an alternate account or a different actual adult from their server is unknown.

I soon left that server after getting the screenshots they wanted. And even sooner after, the toll of the almost ever-present negative atmosphere of beanie’s server was too much and my parents intervened and got me to leave.

While most of the time when a friend of yours move on from a server the right thing to do is to respect their wishes and leave them alone, this is not what beanie did, and still refuses to do a year later. Instead they followed me to 2 different amphibia servers, one where they made a tupperbot of themself and guilt-tripped themself publicly “Muffin (the name i went under at the time) only left because you’re a terrible person! You’re a horrible awful person” etc to themself.

Friends of mine on tumblr (that i’ll refer to as ST and SL incase they don’t want to get involved) tried to comfort them, as they were new to the situation and Beanie and just wanted peace on the server.

Meanwhile on the syrup arc server, Beanie had began to regularly make a point to get into dificult situations with 4/5 of the server mods (the fifth being me, who never disagreed with them so i stayed on their good side though mostly because i was afraid of what they might do if i spoke out). They would make rude and unneeded comments towards others opinions such as their favourite pokemon or their art style, and when confronted would make a gigantic deal out of it or privately message me and essentially tell on them to me.

I admit, for at least 4 months i did nothing. The mod chat was chaos because everyone else was saying the things beanie had done, and the fact i could’ve made the final decision and didn’t was driving a wedge between our friendship. Individually the mods tried to speak kindly to beanie, help them understand why people were becoming wary of them or just not talking to them. The most prominent time being when my friend i’ll refer to as S started a conversation in an attempt to explain to them kindly, but Beanie refused to listen to any of their messages, calling them a slut, and repeatedly implied that S was ableist for disagreeing that their behaviour was an issue. The mod of the server, C, who has expressed before that he himself is neurodivergent, eventually stepped in and tried to explain to Beanie again but their imput went completely ignored despite the conversation stopping.

This behaviour in both servers continued to be an issue for at least another month or two, and both servers had gone from active with at least 20 people in each to basically dead beyond Beanie and only like 4 people online at a time.

Finally one day i was sitting down with a close family member of mine who works in security, and he advised me to block Beanie. I was very tired at the time but i do remember what i did.

I went to the mod chat, told the other mods i was sorry for ignoring their concerns for so long, and banned beanie myself. I also advised the second server’s creator aswell who agreed with my choice once I’d explained the context and banned them too.

You’d think that’d have been the end of it, but it wasn’t. For a solid week afterwards it was a constant back and forth with Beanie and some of the server members who’d personally experienced their behaviour. Except for the fact Beanie would entirely ignore whatever the other person was saying and then call them racist of ableist (which, none of us never even knew their race because they never said it??)

Eventually the two servers decided it would help best for us to let it go, and so we stopped talking to them. I blocked them, and as far as i’m aware of all of the others did too. Once again, you’d think this would be the end of it but unfortunately it is not.

It took 2 months for me to feel safe online after that. And then i got a ask in my ask box in this blog. I don’t exactly remember the wording, but i sent it to a groupchat so i could probably find it if i need to compile a evidence document against them. Essentially it was mocking my pinned post, saying it was ironic of me to say no bullying when i ‘bullied’ them.

After that there was nothing, and i actually began to go to a therapist for reasons i’d like to remain private relating to my paranoia. I admit it was partly my fault for not moving to action quicker, though. I shouldve blocked them long, long before that day and i am so, so sorry to the members of the syrup arc server aswell as the animation server for not acting sooner.

Thankfully they’ve left them alone it seems, but last week i recieved a notification, a personal reminder from Beanie that they were not over their ‘mistreatment’. Despite being blocked on my main account, they somehow have managed to bypass that ability for this blog (this is my sideblog) and now are reminding me once a week through a notification that they’re still here.

That they’re still a stalking, self-righteous bully who has nothing better to do than entrust their mental health to a group of 14-19 year olds on the internet and then say they’re horrible people for not being able to handle them anymore. Even if you weren’t part of either of the servers, please, block them. This situation should’ve been done and over a year ago, and blocking and reporting them seems to be the only way to get them to at least quit harassing us.

This is a completely serious post, and i am begging anyone who reads this. Please. Block them. Do not interact with them, just block them.

I have sent them a ask condeming their choice to continue this fight, which i have no doubt they’ll respond to and ignore everything i said.

Ask i sent below: [

]

Mentioning my mutuals for more engagement

@skythealmighty @sluggintub @aces-archon-quest @velvelic @luc1d-dr34m5 @calebthepianist @strawberry-seal77 @breadthefurry @technicolor-abstraction @rainblescake

#serious post #tw stalking #tw verbal abuse #Amphibia #cass speaks #Object shows #Reblog to spread around please.

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