#but perhaps that was the point and it just didnt click with me

[artisanalpeanutbutter]

I'm so glad my friends are (mostly) not book lovers bc holy shit I hate she who became the sun so much and if I was surrounded by people who love it I would not be able to talk to them until they got over the hype. I only liked abt half of it and I would explain my feelings but I don't feel like doing that rn.

Tldr though: I didn't think it was feminist at all and going in thinking it was a feminist piece of literature made it a bad read for me. I liked how the author explored another gender class through the eunuchs though. Should've contested the other main character's misogyny & toxic masculinity (maybe that's not the right term here but idgaf this is just a tumblr post) though (can't remember their name bc i read it so long ago. The monk)

[felixisfruity]

does anyone know if there‘s a tag limit

[andhumanslovedstories]

Hi Sarah (or Sara? I remember you discussing the h but don't remember which way it's spelled). I hope you're doing well on your break and enjoying September. I have a question - how much schooling did you have to do to become a nurse? I'm considering becoming an elementary school teacher in Norway, which would require me to go back to school for 5 (additional) years. Seems like a long fucking time and i didnt do great the first run tbh. It would be free though. Investment in the future seems like it could pay off, so i guess im looking for inspiration from other ppl who have perhaps made a similar plunge

Hi, anon! I wish I could give you some straight up inspo. Instead, I navel-gazed for a while. Schooling-wise, I already had a (completely unrelated) bachelor's degree so I was able to do an accelerated nursing program after two semesters of community college doing the prereqs. I did struggle in nursing school. College has always been brutal on my mental health and nursing is a hard pivot from my original degree (double major history and english w a concentration in creative writing) (you cannot imagine how many books I read and essays I wrote). It took a little over two years in total.

You don't have to don't have to worry about student debt which is so so wonderful. I didn't have to either, and that's let me be way more adventurous with my life choices. The cost of your education would just ("just") be your time, energy, and the potential money that you could earn by focusing on work instead. I had to stick around in my hometown instead of going traveling with Cyrus. I worked a lot fewer hours than I would if I'd not been in school. I had to miss the live airing of the Jesus Christ Superstar on NBC in order to study for an anatomy test which was genuinely so distressing to me. 2018 was a hell of a year for me. (I aced that test btw. It was such an improvement over my previous test my teacher emailed me a congratulations note with twelve exclamation points.)

All of this while people were constantly talking about how shitty it is to be a nurse and how so many of them leave the field within six months. (Similar to teaching in that way, at least in America.) I was doing work I didn't enjoy for a job I might not stick with. There were a lot of times I resented nursing school for interfering with my life.

I'm still very glad I did it. My degree gave me a lot. On the very practical side, my degree has given me more financial freedom and a much higher earning potential. On the idealistic level, my degree has enabled me to do work that I find meaningful. The work touches a lot of things that I find interesting. My nursing degree has benefited my life, regardless of if I stay in nursing for the rest of my career or move on to something new. I didn't like getting my degree, but I don't regret that I got it.

Maybe it'll go way easier for you, maybe it won't be worth it. When I thought about becoming a nurse, it felt like my life plan clicked into place because it ticked every single need I had for a job. I didn't know if it would work out, but the rewards outweighed the risks. More than that, it was the first plan I had for my future that made me excited. I liked the life I pictured if I was a nurse. I've found that excitement to be rare and precious. If teaching gives you that, I'd strongly consider pursuing it.

Besides, you can always use my last-line defense against school despair: being like "fuck it I'm gonna drop out after this semester" and then keep not doing that. You can bail on stuff! It's rad.

[loveiis]

doctor!chris x virgin!fem!reader

not proofread !

warnings: taking innocence, cursing, p in v, slight blood, suggestive thoughts.

as you sat in the comfortable seats of the room, you examined the tools that sat on a grey metal tray, as if whoever was here before was prepared for your appointment.

you didnt really need this visit, nothing was wrong with your vagina. at least, you dont think so. you haven’t had any problems, plus, you’re a virgin. so no sexually transmitted diseases.

you heard the sound of the door clicking, snapping you out of your thoughts as you looked towards the now opening door.

you expected to see a woman, but yet you see a man before you. is that even allowed?

“hi, i’m doctor chris sturniolo, you’re here for your vagina exam, correct?” he reaches his hand out towards yours.

“yes- yeah, i am. nice to meet you.” you flash him a small smile as you shake his hand.

“great, alright then, just sit up here and make sure to stay calm, ‘kay?” he lets go of your hand to point towards the exam table.

that completely slipped your mind. you’re the patient, why are you sitting in the chairs?

“right, okay.” you get up quickly and walk towards it. chris helps you onto the examination table, his hands steadying your hips as you sit down.

“that's a good girl. just make yourself comfortable.” he retrieves a speculum, glinting in the harsh overhead light, and begins to prepare for the examination.

you nervously wait, intertwining your fingers on your stomach, just waiting for this whole thing to be over.

chris notices your nervousness, and gives you a reassuring smile.

“trust me, my dear. i've done this a thousand times. you have nothing to worry about.” he begins the exam, inserting the speculum slowly and carefully.

you listen to his reassuring words, relaxing as you feel the speculum inside of you. in discomfort, you suck in air through your teeth.

as he examines you, chris can't help but notice how tight and youthful your vagina is. he feels a stirring in his pants, and his fingers move with a newfound gentleness.

“ah, yes... you have a very healthy cervix.” he pauses, his gaze lingering on your delicate pink folds.

at this point, your nervousness was just building up even more. how were you supposed to stay calm like this?

chris clears his throat, trying to hide his growing arousal. “and your hymen... it appears you're still an untouched virgin.” he hesitates, his mind racing with forbidden thoughts.

“tell me, has anyone ever even touched you down here before?” his voice drips with unspoken desire.

taken aback by the question, heat rises to your cheeks as you answer, “u-um… no. just myself..” you let out a nervous laugh, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

chris's eyes light up with excitement at your admission. a true virgin, untouched and unexplored. he sets the speculum aside, his hands shaking slightly as he reaches for something else.

“perhaps we should take a closer look, just to make sure everything is in perfect condition.”

not really knowing what he means by that, you start to tap your fingers against your belly anxiously.

he retrieves a small, thin probe, designed for gentle examinations. chris wets it with lubricant, his face flushed with eagerness.

“now, spread your legs a little wider for me, dear.” he softly taps your knee twice.

you hesitantly spread your legs a bit wider, slightly aroused at the position you’re in, especially with a good-looking doctor… what?

chris slowly inserts the probe, his eyes locked onto your face, watching for any sign of discomfort.

“you're so tight, like a little fist.” his voice is barely a whisper, his own arousal growing harder to hide.

“i need to check your virgin opening, just to be sure.” chris pauses, checking if you’re okay with that.

how many tests does he have to do, exactly? “okay, thats fine.” you sigh a bit, somewhat wishing something more exciting than this exam would happen.

chris pushes the probe deeper, his breathing growing heavier. he can feel your virgin opening tightening around the intruder, a sign of your untouched innocence.

he bites his lip, trying to maintain his professional composure. “yes, you're definitely untouched.” chris holds the probe in place, his other hand reaching for a small camera.

“now, let's get a better look at this precious little hole.” he carefully inserts the camera, the small lens peeking out of your opening. “ah, perfect.”

“am i okay, then?” you spoke, squirming slightly at the uncomfortable feeling.

chris pulls out the camera, his face contorted with unspoken desire. “yes, you're perfectly healthy...” his voice trails off as he stares at your spread-open, untouched innocence.

“but I think we should run a few more tests, just to be sure.”

inside your brain, you were screaming in frustration that you had to go through more tests, being that the situation you’re in is… slightly unprofessional..

“that’s fine. whatever you have to do..” your eyes narrowed as you notice the invitation behind your words.

chris's mind races with depraved thoughts. he knows he should stop, that he's crossing a professional boundary, but he can't resist the temptation of your innocence.

“i think i'll need to use my fingers to check your response, dear. would that be alright?” he looks at you, waiting for your consent.

his fingers? your vagina? jesus, this was an exam, your thoughts need to chill out. hes just checking your response, right?

“uh, s-sure” you stutter, preparing yourself for whatever was to come.

chris lubes up his index and middle fingers, his eyes never leaving your face. “i'll go slowly, dear. just tell me if it hurts, okay?”

he gently spreads your lips open with his thumb and index finger, and slowly enters you with his middle and ring fingers. “how's that feel?” he asked.

“oh— f-feels good..” you tried to hold back a moan, trying to keep your response as professional as possible. but the way his fingers are inside of you, this is going to be difficult.

chris's heart races as he feels your tight virgin hole clutching onto his fingers. his mind is consumed with thoughts of pounding you hard, but he fights back the urge and continues to probe you gingerly.

“good? I think we can do better than that...” he sighs.

“what- what do you mean?” your eyes flicked across the room fearfully.

he decides to push his luck and adds a third finger, stretching your tiny hole further. “i mean, I think you can handle a bit more...”

he starts to curl his fingers, rubbing against your inner walls. “how about this? does that feel good?”

the stretch was way too much. it definitely felt good, but you couldn’t handle it.

“oh god- t’ much..” your hands gripped onto your shirt.

he immediately stops, his fingers still buried deep in you. “oh, i'm so sorry. did I hurt you? let me pull out...” he slowly slips his fingers out, blood staining the tips. “yes, that's normal.”

“its okay.. im not hurt..” i stare at the small amount of blood on his gloves.

chris's face darkens with lust as he sees the blood. he knows he should stop, but seeing your virgin cunt is too much for him.

he quickly removes his gloves and retrieves a condom from the drawer. “i think i should examine you more thoroughly.”

you silently question him in your head, as you were looking up at the ceiling, not even seeing him grab a condom.

chris slowly unzips his pants, pulling out his hard, throbbing erection. he quickly sheathes it with the condom. “just to make sure you're still a virgin, i should... push inside you.” he spreads your legs wider.

wait what does he mean ‘push inside you’..? you opened your mouth to ask but you then felt something pressing against your entrance.

you quickly look down, seeing him with his dick out, lined up with your entrance with a condom on. when did he put a condom on?

he looked at you first, asking for consent yet again. you didn’t know how to verbally express that because it was too embarrassing for you to say out loud. so you just nodded.

chris grips your thighs tightly and slowly pushes into you, his face contorted with pleasure. he can feel your virginity stretching to accommodate him, the barrier popping as he fully sheathes himself inside you.

“ohmygosh- so big..” you bit your lip at the way he stretched you.

“oh god, you're so tight. you were definitely a virgin.” he begins to thrust slowly.

you moan softly as he thrusts into you, the wet sounds of you filling the room each time.

chris picks up the pace, his thick cock pounding into your tight, virgin pussy.

“fuck, you're so small and tight. i can feel your innocence squeezing me with every thrust.” he reaches down and grabs your leg, pulling it up to his shoulder as he fucks you harder.

“mmph- fuck.. so- so good.” you whimper as your voice bounces with his movements.

chris grunts with effort as he fucks you relentlessly, his balls slapping against your ass with each thrust. “you're taking my cock so well for a virgin. i think you were made just for me.” he pulls out suddenly and flips you over, pushing your face into the cushions of the exam table.

chris grabs your hips and positions himself behind you, pushing back into your pussy with a hard thrust. he begins to fuck you harder and faster, his balls slapping against your clit as he bottoms out inside of you. “you look so fucking hot from this angle.”

the new angle made you go insane. “yes! oh fuck- s’good chris, shit..” you were too far gone to realize you called him by his first name.

chris's breathing grows ragged as he continues to pound into you, his own end nearing. he reaches down and grabs your wrists, pinning your arms above your head as he speeds up his thrusts.

“i'm close, dear. i'm going to fill up your little virgin hole with my seed.”

even in situations like these he speaks so professionally.

“please please! ‘m coming!” you have never heard yourself like this, everything felt so crazy.

chris grunts loudly as he buries himself to the hilt inside you, his body convulsing as he spills into the condom.

he continues to thrust through his own completion, drawing out your own intense release. “that's it, come for me, dear. show me how much you loved your first time.”

you breathed heavily as you came down, feeling euphoric.

chris collapses onto your back, his breath hot against your ear as he catches his breath. he slowly pulls out of you and disposes of the condom, before gently cleaning you up with a warm cloth.

“there you go, dear. your first time is over.” he spoke, pulling his pants back up and zipping them.

as you start to come back to reality, you couldn’t help but ask, “does everyone experience that when they get checked by you?”

chris chuckles and helps you sit up, wrapping you in a warm blanket. “no, they don’t. but you, my dear, were perfect.”

wc: 1,848 words, 10,469 characters.

dividers from @/saradika-graphics

didn’t like this one that much 😣

[nanaminsonyfans]

I saw your ask for requests and i desperately want Billy butcher content so I tried to think of something lol. I’m more sure if you like writing series or one shots or whatever but take from this what you want?

The reader has unknowingly caught Billy butchers eye after being at many of the same functions he’s been at for work. Reader also has a hatred of the unjust world of supes and independently has been gathering useful intel but not entirely sure how to use it. Butcher gets suspicious of reader and begins to keep tabs on her, eventually approaching her and perhaps threatening to know what she’s up to/what she’s using the intel for (however you want to spin that). The boys decide she’s a risk and take her back to their hideout where Billy butcher and reader eventually form a bond, bonding over least favorite supes and reader getting teased

Perhaps fragile, innocent (not extreme in the cringe sense) reader. Include some blushing haha

Not the best request ever I’m still tryna get my imagination back.. but would love romance and eventual smut

a/n; this is sorta just a starter? if theres more interest i'll def try a series.

warnings; swearings that's about it.

—

Great Minds

You despised Supes. They were awful people, you learnt it the hard way when you say your mother be killed by one. It was an "accident" Vought said. It was to save others. Homelander blasted through five people to get to the criminal, people sliced in half by his laser beams. That's when you stopped believing that they were "heroes". Sure they were super, but if the face of the supes was a piece of shit, they all probably were.

Now you weren't physically strong, you mentally you were. You were able to gather intel on an arrangement of supes, mostly for people who wanted to get back at them so it was easy to blackmail or sue. You knew the deep dark underbelly of it all. You went to some functions disguised as a reporter, however you always got the sense you were being watched. Not just by supes, but something else, something that felt darker....

One night, you came home from the store, something felt off though. Being in New York where practically everyone was a target for hate, you were armed. You reached into your bag and pulled out a small revolver as you walked into your apartment. You aimed it at the corner where you saw two figures, then there was a click of the lamp being turned on. There was a man in a trench coat and a younger guy who looked terrified at you pointing the gun. "I-I didnt wanna break in he dragged me-!" He says and held up his hands.

"Who the fuck are you two and what the fuck do you want and WHY the FUCK are you in my house!?" You yell pointing the gun between the two. "Calm down luv. Just here to talk." The older man says standing up slowly and throwing a file on the coffee table. "You and I got some of the same interests." He hums, relaxed snd obviously not threatened by you at all. "Been noticin' ya, which ain't good if you want to be unnoticed by supes." "The fuck you know about me." You say lowering your gun slowly. "I know you blackmail them and gather shit. We could use some of your intelligence." he says. You raise an eyebrow. "Intelligence? For what?" He stepped closer, looking down at you. "Against the supes. see you and me want the same thing, to get that cunt Homelander." You snorted slightly at him saying "cunt".

"Yeah? Like you can do that. Some British guy is gonna kill america's sweetheart superhero. Sure. And whats your little mouse friend gonna do?" You ask taking off your coat, no longer feeling threatened. "Mouse...?" The boy says with a frown. "Listen luv, aint like you got a choice." "Excuse me?" "I have a team. It's better for you to join us. We can take down Homelander, and all supes." "Who even are you?" "Billy Butcher." Billy says with a smirk. It all clicked. You've heard of this psycho, crazy about killing supes. You took a deep breath. "Fine. But only because that kid looks way on over his fucking head." "Good choice luv."

[grechsblog]

Siffrin did indeed loop without dying ;)

Something to ponder, perhaps?

OH THANK FUCK IT WASNT STABBING. STONE FALLING FROM MY SHOULDERS MOUNTAIN LIFTING FROM MY SPINE THANK YOU ANON FOR CLARIFICATION THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

the situation isnt. great... still but at least bonnie didnt have to see siffrin kill himself right after yelling that they hate him. yknow? i think thatd be Very Fucked Up. yknow??? especially if its going where i Think its going and everyone Might remember previous loops at some point.

otherwise... hm. i already suspected their amnesia is artificially induced cuz everything Points to this with time craft and the like, but by whom? it cant be anyone we Know know, not allies or people on their journey or the king too or he wouldnt be asking if sif remembers, so that leaves us with siffrin himself and, well. loop i suppose?

if it was loop then the comments about only caring about siffrin are made with a little creepier context than i initially assumed. which to be fair also was none because hey i ate a fucking pineapple after they told me explicitly Not to eat any. im stupid as shit

if it was siffrin however.... that would mean he wanted to forget Something. the Something might be his entire life or just a very specific aspect that made his memories go Fucked like a card house or particularly unstable jenga. which, huh! that cant be good!!!

in all honesty i inch closer to the 'siffrin did it' theory. the no-death looping he did really tells me Enough about how much sif really.... learns in loops. like yes its the Houses layout, the traps (of which i saw only 2- and there was at least 4 stones more i have a bad feeling about this), the items, passwords and whatever else, but that My knowledge to use, as a player. he, as a character, grows more comfortable with looping, i think. he learns what it feels and learns what it does and.... well. hes the one experiencing it. is it That kind of a stretch if he learns anything after (for me) 11 tries?

i do wonder what happened with that island north tho. i initially assumed siffrin ran from there, or well. he ran from his parents because he didnt want his veggies, as per his own words, took the boat and saved his life by accident but.... but now im kinda curious if he knew anything. if he was even a kid at a time. if hes the one responsible for that, somehow, somewhat.

.....oh!

just had a (maybe?) unrelated epiphany. that ladies sibling went north, huh? oh that would click with everything nicely. the siblings gone so shes an only child- but the siblings also lived with her for some time outside of northern island so the memories of That time remain. superposition of sorts

wouldnt that be fucked up huh?

[ohgodimafraud]

Streaming t//diapt - Uru//shihara

Hi. Idek what to say about this one

summary: ur//ushihara makes a discover about his strteaming audience and his roommates demand that he capitalizes immediately.

---

The summer heat continued baking down on Sasazuka, and it was the perfect excuse for Urushihara to stay put in his closet, the one sad fan whirring and blowing warm air against his damp skin. The laptop continued generating its excessive heat which was decidedly preferable to the resident NEET to the fresh summer air. As Urushihara scrolled through the bountiful sea of videos, he recognized a familiar screen name: his own.

Darklord666 Clip 1

So he’d gotten popular enough to have fans clip his best hits. A smirk spread across his face. So much for his streaming hobby being a “fruitless endeavor.” 

3.k views. One week ago.

Damn, that’s more than ten times the amount of followers he had last time he checked, and this video had gotten this many views in the span of a week. He clicked the video and adjusted the volume and leaned in to watch which one of his builds or jokes had taken off.

📹

“Oh this sucks. The hair colors are so limited.” Urushihara pinched the bridge of his nose and sniffled. “Guess you guys will have to point me towards some…cuhh-uh…hKSHhh’ieh! tssch! Ugh. wait” 

He adjusted his headset before reaching around offscreen until he produced a tissue. “HehkShhhieh! Ihhshhh’ihh!”

“Rec me sombe custumb condtedt,” he amended. “Oh…yeah, it’s ndot a—hYSHhh’ieh! ndot a cold, just allergies.” He blew his nose.

“Wait, I can get it through the game? Is it free?” He sniffled. “Oh and thanks.”

📹

Comments:

dandelion222: what is he allergic to

S.finder: @dandelion222 He said later in the stream that it’s dust

snzgirl: bless him <3 

sneezy123: god hes so sexy

supersnzr: the video quality is so bad but the content def makes up for it ;)))

Okay that was odd. He can’t see what was particularly sexy about that clip. He’d been sneezing for half of it. He frowned and clicked the next recommended clip.  

Darklord666 Clip 2

📹

“hyhSHhh’yyu! Tschh’iu! hpt’chhhu!” 

Urushihara fixed his headset that’d been displaced during the sneezing fit and gripped it as another sneeze shook him forward. “hh…hehhh….wa-waihht…ihhgKSHhh’ieh!” 

He wiped the screen with the hem of his raglan shirt. “Ugh,” he sniffled, “fail. You didn’t see that.” 

📹

Urushihara’s frown deepened. What the fuck? Why did this one have even more views. He skipped over the comments in favor of clicking the next video.

Darklord666 Clip 3

📹

“Yeah I wanted to do hh- rags t-to…wait…hehh…” Urushihara abandoned his sentence and squinted his eyes, nose scrunching in the lowlight. “HehhkSHhhihh!” This time the spray was visible and he hadn’t bothered to turn away from the laptop this time. “IhhSHhhiehh!”

“Oh hey thanks for the gift sakurablossom7.”

📹

Comments:

asters_in_bloom: heyy good find but maybe you shouldn’t put their screen names on these clips…

S.finder: @asters_in_bloom Others have commented the same thing. Going forward I’ll be sure to fix this.

asters_in_bloom: @S.finder ok but you didnt????

Dustyboi: i need him. im subscribing immediately. id pay him sm to sneeze all over my—

Urushihara stopped reading. Immediately. That didn’t stop autoplay from playing the fourth clip. The closet door abruptly flung open and he nearly tumbled out again, but managed to catch himself this time. He let out a groan of disdain before the inevitable scream fest began. 

“Urushihara!” Ashiya pointed at him as if he’d finally tracked him down. “Please stop talking to your friend “Chat” and come help me fold the laundry for once! Or if you’re going to sneeze nonstop, perhaps you should dust this time.”

“You’re just gonna complain that I’m doing it wrong,” Urushiahara complained, removing his headset. The sound of the clip did not stop, and it was then that he realized his headphones weren’t even plugged in. He blushed and paused the video.

“Why are you sitting here watching video tapes of yourself?”

“I’m not.” Urushihara shuddered and closed the computer. “Just figured out why I got so many gifts last stream.” 

Oh he’d fucked up. Royally. He could feel the way the atmosphere in the room had shifted, the way Ashiya’s mind had shifted into budget mode. “Gifts?”

“Money.”

“And why is that? How much money did you make?” 

This was humiliating, and yet something about the situation warranted sharing. He should want this to die a secret, but there’s a certain catharsis in discussing it. Without moving his eyes to meet Ashiya’s, he finally answered, “Apparently people like seeing me sneeze.”

“There are people who enjoy—”

“Like, dude, you don’t understand. They really really like it.’

Ashiya furrowed his eyebrows and opened his mouth as if he was going to ask him to get off his ass again.

“I don't even understand,” Urushihara added. “Like I made 1,500 yen last stream.”

“What do you mean they really like your—”

“You know how Sasaki Chiho looks at Maou when he does literally anything? Or how Sariel looks at—”

“Please speak no further.” Ashiya sighed and tilted his head. He raised an incredulous eyebrow. “To summarize, people are giving you money because of your incessant sneezing?”

Urushihara nodded.

“And you’re sure Chat is not paying you to cease and desist?” Urushihara opened his laptop and showed Ashiya the comment bold enough to make not just one but two demon generals blush. “No…further evidence requested. Excuse me.” 

Ashiya left the apartment. Perhaps it was all too much for him. Though Urushihara had at least eight thousand years on the guy, Ashiya had always been more old fashioned. Explaining that there in fact other people out there who would spend their free time watching other people play a game rather than playing it themselves had been a headache in itself. It was much easier to let him think he’d been video calling some guy named Chat. 

Urushihara quietly decided he was done streaming for the foreseeable future and ordered another delivery of a few bags of chips and a bottle of iced tea he could easily hide in the closet. He would’ve completely erased all memories of today were it not for what happened when Ashiya returned. 

***

“Dude, what the hell?” Urushihara cried when Ashiya yanked the closet door open once again. He was holding a bouquet of flowers with a sticker with a brightly marked down price. “What the fuck.”

“Do you remember the incident when Miss Sasaki brought his highness lilies?” Ashiya asked. A dark aura spread across the devil’s castle as his eyes zeroed in on the fresh chip bag in his hands. “I see you ordered delivery while I was out.”

“You’re a demon! Why are you trying to pimp me out to the sneeze fetish community?” he whined, fighting against Ashiya’s grasp on the door. 

“You call Chat this instant! It’s time you started contributing financially!” 

This was a mistake. All of it. Urushihara’s eyes were already starting to water from the putrid scent of the flowers Ashiya was continuing to wave in his face. 

“It’s time you learned the value of money. His majesty slaves over a hot grill all day, serving the people of Sasazuka, and he does not do it so you can waste all his—”

Speak of the devil. Maou entered the apartment. Surely he’d stop this human rights violation. 

“Dude, help!” Urushihara called out. 

Maou looked between his two demon generals, one holding lilies up to the other one's face as he shrunk back into the closet.

“Did Chi send those?” he asked obliviously.

“Ashiya is trying to pimp me out to strangers online!”

“He is exaggerating!”

Maou’s posture sagged. “What’s really happening?”

“Welcome home. As it happens, my liege, though his phrasing is crude, it is not far from the truth.” Ashiya moved a step back from the closet and faced Maou. He briefly explained the situation to Maou while Urushihara tried not to sneeze. It was becoming more difficult by the second. He brushed a few bright yellow flecks off of his shirt as Ashiya explained Chat’s sadistic tendencies.

“Okay, that…” Maou sighed and shot Urushihara a sympathetic glance. Hail Satan. “I get that we need the money, but—”

“He spent a day’s wages on Sims expansion packs.” Ashiya handed him a folded receipt from his pocket. 

Fuck.

“You’d better fuckin call Chat!” Maou hissed, pointing at him. “You think I’m made of yen?? I was saving to take Alas Ramus to the movies damnit!”

Urushihara sighed and opened the streaming app. He had indeed acquired another fifty followers since his last stream. 

“Dude, pleaseeee—”

“Let’s go, tech squad. How much yen can you make in one stream?”

“My record is uh…”

“2,000 yen, sire. I’ll bet with these he can double it.’

“Don’t come out until you’ve made at least 2,000,” Maou sighed. 

“Hi and welcome back to my channel. How are we doin’, chat?” He glanced up at the two demons standing over him and accepted the bouquet from Ashiya. He didn’t even have to take a whiff for the onslaught to continue. The scent alone was enough to drive his nose crazy. He couldn’t keep from scrunching it and sniffling, though each sniffle would bring in more of the sickly sweet odor. “So I got some of the expansion packs y’all rec…recommended. How about I make the, uh…cat—wait, I’mgonnasnNDSChhh’iuhh! H’KSChh’ieeh!”

Maou handed him a tissue pack, glare still intact. 

“We had a cat once. I was really allergic to it.” Urushihara blew his nose into a one-ply tissue before continuing. “No, that’s not why I’mb sneezing now. ‘Mb allergic to a lotta stuff apparently. Anyway…hahhhkSHhh’iew! Anyway, thangks for the gift, uh, Dustyboi…”

Save me, Dustyboi.

“Mby roombate can really stretch out 500 yen, y’kndow. Thanks, s-sakurabl-...hehYSHhh’iehh! Ihhpshh! Tschh! heh’ESCHhh’yew!”

Ashiya had moved on and went on to make dinner in the background. Maou sat in front of the TV with the volume on zero but with the captions on, though he seemed far more interested in Urushihara’s performance. 

Urushihara blew his nose again, knowing he’d have about a minute before he’d have to blow his nose again.. “Sorry guys, I’mb ndot gonnda be…able to…hh…st-stop sneezi’gg. Hehh’KSHhh’iehh! Mby roombate got flowers that I’mb allergic to. Yeah it’s that…it’s that bad. Anyway, here’s Silverfish the cat. We’re gonnda—H’ESCHhh’iew!—add himb ind…”  

Urushihara finalized the Devil’s Castle on the Sims and sniffled and wiped the tears from his eyes. “Yeah, Ashiya’s throwi’d himbself at Maou again. Just like in real life…”

“What did you say, you creatin?” Ashiya yelled from the kitchen which was, of course, part of the same room they were all in.

“Yeah they’re both hombe,” Urushihara said into the mic casually before losing control of the sneeze he’d managed to keep back for almost a full minute. “h’ESHhhu! Fugk…Ugh, thank you for the gifts. Mbaybe I cand afford better tissues now.” 

“Oh no, he has to pay off his debt first. Otherwise he’ll have to sell some of this streaming equipment,” Maou called from the living room portion of the room.

That did it. If Maou understood one thing about this world, it was appealing to the consumer. 

“Thangks for all the gifts, guys. Wow. Three-thousand yen!” Urushihara coughed and sniffled again. “Btw guys, I’m gudda be uploadi’gg a recordi’gg of this streab to mby chandel and all future streams. I’mb gudda…sndeeze…ah-agaid…Ehhshhh!-KShhh’ih! H’KSHhh’iew!”

He muddled through another twenty minutes of gameplay before people started expressing genuine concern in the comments. Suddenly there were about ten people regularly writing “bless you,” and “are you okay?” in the chat along with others calling him “poor thing.”

“H’KShhhieh! It’s okay, I’mb used to it. This is—hah…ieSCHhh’iew! KSHhhh! dothi’gg cobbared to whed we had the cadt I swear.”

In the background, Ashiya began setting the kotatsu for dinner. Somehow between the horny viewers and the sympathetic ones, he’d made five-thousand yen. 

“Okay…sorry guys. I godtta go. I’ll…I’ll be back tomborrow.” He gave a peace sign which he knew was ironic coming from him, but nobody needed to know that. 

“Five-k yen is gonna drop tonight, okay?” He then walked the bouquet to the trash can. Ashiya got up and stood in his way. 

“Save this one for tomorrow. He pulled a single lily out and left it on the table.” 

“Doesn't it suck busting your ass to make money only for someone else to spend it?” Maou asked with a smirk, crumbs sticking to the inner corners of his lips. 

Urushihara shrugged and went to wash his swollen face in the bathroom knowing that eventually the video of the stream would surely gain some income and exposure too. Next he’d report the accounts stealing his clips and make his own video compilations. And then nothing will come between him and owning his very own Switch. 

[simplygyuu]

Teddy Bear - 28 : its like the rain on a foggy day

*⁀➷synopsis ! : on your birthday one of your best friends, soobin, gifts you an adorable teddy bear. you keep it all day once he gave it to you, carrying the adorable thing around for your entire birthday day and going to sleep with it that night. the next morning you wake up with.. a man in the place of your precious bear?! he doesn't have a name and he looks at you like you hung all the stars and.. did he just say he WAS the bear?

wc (1.5k)

Your heart was racing as you made your way over to Lily's as quickly as you could. As soon as she sent you the address you had rushed to get on a pair of shoes and to call an uber. You didn't enjoy paying to be driven somewhere, but Beomgyu needed you and there was no way in hell you were going to walk.

The entirety of your time in the backseat was filled with silence, you weren't even playing on your phone. What was going through Beomgyus' mind right now? Did he think you hated him? Was Lily able to somewhat comfort him? In the back of your mind there was also the part of you that was scolding yourself for how you judged Lily in the beginning. She was a sweet girl and seemed to care for Beomgyu deeply.

“We've arrived, miss.” The driver's voice cut the silence and jostled you out of your thoughts. Quickly you handed him the money before climbing out of the backseat. Shooting Lily a quick text you approached the front door, not wanting to show up completely unannounced.

For a few moments you just stood in front of the door before you heard the lock slowly click open and saw Lily peek her head out. She looked just like she had in the photo Beomgyu retweeted.

“Oh, finally youre here.” She sighed as she opened the door wider so you could come inside. “Come in, please. He won't come out of the guest bedroom. I dont know what to do he's getting snappy with me.”

Your brows furrowed at the news but nodded along with what she said. Beomgyu was being short-tempered? That was new for him. Youve never even seen him angry before, not even seriously annoyed.

“Thank you for contacting me. I was so worried.” You expressed your gratitude while quickly toeing off your shoes. Lily just smiled at you with a nod before pointing at which door was the guest bedroom.

“Its no problem, I was worried about him.” Lily replied kindly. “Cmon lets go see him…”

Lily led you to a door–the guest bedroom, you assumed–before knocking gently. There was silence for a long stretch of time before Lily sent you a look. Then, she knocked once again.

“Beomgyu?” Lily spoke hesitantly, “...Yn is here to fix things, cant you let us in? Or just her?” Silence stretched out once again and you expected Lily to begin speaking again before finally, Beomgyu piped up from behind the door.

“You invited her here? Seriously?” Beomgyu sounded angry. It was a different kind of thing to hear on him, it didnt seem right. Not to mention a subtle scratch to his voice, had he been crying that badly?

“You know its for the best. You two live together, she wouldve come sooner or later.” Lily pushed.

“I dont care!” Beomgyu exclaimed, voice raised. “Why would you fucking invite her over after what just happened? Do you like seeing me sad? Is that something fun for you?”

Lily then seemed to shrink in on herself a bit, averting her gaze even if Beomgyu wasn't actually looking at her. You heart ached for the both of them. It was obvious Beomgyu didnt know how to handle all these new emotions and it must've transferred into anger. Perhaps some sort of defense mechanism.

“Beomgyu, let me in please. Can we talk about this? You're misunderstanding the whole situation.” You finally spoke up, gesturing for Lily to go ahead and leave to the living room. But the girl just motioned towards the front door before leaving. You didnt know why she was leaving, but she was already out the door.

“What am I misunderstanding, hm? The fact that you dont like me? That I just ruined our entire friendship?” He countered, not even sounding like he made a move towards the door. “God, I've ruined everything…” You then heard him mumble in a much quieter voice, a sniffle soon following after.

“Beomgyu, please. You are misunderstanding. Let me explain, let me in.” You continued to push him, voice staying leveled and calm. He was being hostile with everyone so far, but you couldn't blame him. He was on the defense after getting his feelings hurt so badly.

Silence stretched on once again and honestly you were getting ready to resign yourself to the floor and wait for him to come out. But finally, you heard a faint rustling behind the door before the click of a lock sounded through the silent house. Then, the door creaked open slowly as you looked over to see only half of Beomgyus' face.

His eyes were red and puffy, he had obviously been crying pretty heavily. His cheeks and nose were still tinted red as well, so he must've been crying no more than a few minutes ago. He stared you down with a weak glare before stepping away from the door but not closing it, just resigning himself back to the comfort of the bed.

Quietly you walked into the room, closing the door behind you. For a second you contemplated, looking at where Beomgyu had seated himself on the opposite side of the bed so he could face away from you. His shoulders were hunched, like he was trying to make himself smaller. Your heart clenched, he must feel horrible.

“I know you're upset, rightfully so, but at least hear me out.” You sat down on the bed, facing him but he kept his gaze averted. He didn't make any move to tell you to leave or stop, so you assumed you could continue.

“I like you too, Beomgyu. Shit, I've liked you for a while now,” You finally admitted and watched him tense up, “I'm sorry for not saying something sooner. You must've thought I didn't reciprocate.. I'm sorry. I was shocked. I didn't think you would ever like me, especially since I was under the impression of you and Lily dating.”

“You….you like me too? Are you being serious? This isn't a funny joke, yn..” Beomgyu choked out quietly, turning to finally face you. He looked so hopeful, eyes wide.

“I'm being 100% serious, Gyu. You know I wouldn't make a mean joke like that.” You reached forward to slowly take one of his hands in your hold, giving him time to move away if he wanted to. But instead of moving away, a slight smile spread across his face as he practically attacked you with a hug.

“Oh thank god! I-I was so worried and, and I thought I ruined ev-everything” He suddenly was crying once again, hiccuping between his words as he hugged you tightly. You couldn't help but smile a bit, rubbing his back.

“I was supposed to be the one f-flirting but now I'm crying on you… Junnie hyung is gonna laugh…” Beomgyu then whined, rubbing his head against your shoulder out of embarrassment. You chuckled at his words, snorting a bit before cupping his cheeks with your hands and bringing his head up to look at you.

“Ignore whatever he says, he's just jealous now that you have a girlfriend.” You watched his eyes widen once again before a bright smile spread across his wet face. Even though he was a little snotty and his eyes were red, he was still cute to you.

“Yn.. can I kiss you?” He asked after a few moments of you two just looking at each other. His hands rested on your legs, a small close lipped smile on his face. “Its my first time, but-”

“Shush, Gyu. Just kiss me already.”

Beomgyu smiled before leaning in to connect your lips together. It was a gentle thing, soft and in no rush. His hands trailed up from their place on your leg until one held your waist and the other rested on your cheek. There were no sparks, no fireworks booming over the two of you like in the movies, but it was warm and comforting. It was like the rain on a foggy day, drinking hot chocolate after being in the cold outside, cuddling up under a warm blanket. It was perfect for the two of you. With a small smile into Beomgyus mouth you pulled back a bit, barely an inch away from each other.

“Ahh~” He whined, tugging you gently by your waist. “One more.”

You giggled with him, his face mirroring your smile as you connected each other's lips once again. You melted against each other, an overwhelming sense of comfort filling you. It felt so right, being with him like this. God you had waited for what felt like ages, even if it was only a month, almost two.

“Gyu..” You started, resting your forehead against his, “ As much as I like this, we shouldn't make out in Lily's guest bedroom..” Your words made Beomgyu snort, his almost silent laugh bubbling up as he nodded. You made a fair point.

“Let's go home then. We can finish up our movie night.” He had a smile on his face as he replied, almost glowing with happiness despite the dried tears on his face.

If you two snuck a few more kisses while waiting for the uber then well, who was there to see it anyways? It could be your little secret.

the end :)

--------------------------------------------------------------previous ! masterlist ! bonus !

notes ! : andddd thats a wrap! i genuinely cannot believe teddy bear is over already.. i really really loved making this! and the love and support it got was so so overwhelming and kind and such a good introduction for me to the tumblr community :) thank you all so so so much for taking the time to read this silly story of mine, i love you all <33 on that note, i do plan on writing maybe a bonus or two later!! i'll continue to write here on tumblr let it be requests from you all or little drabbles ive thought up and who knows, maybe ill set up another smau! thank u all again for making this such a good experience :)

taglist ! : @lynnfv @openingssequence @wonioml @lunaavity @sunarintoes @bluebearybeom @invusblog @forever-in-the-sky2 @woncheecks @captivq @i8lhee @tatanbin @rynryn2 @qluvrv @wccycc @f4iryho0n @fancy-whitedwarf @totallynotbella @n0-thisispatrick @aeulia @zaeeeee @jungwon-kitten @sserafimez @lynanist @mazeinthemoon @valentinurz @zoe8stay @thisisnotjacinta @lonewolfjinji @moavill97 @yuhjoeyuh @nagyaons @rikismiel @luvmeatballs4ever @beomgyubeomgyu @beomomb @enhyjin @jwnghyuns @tae-ology @luvdokja @sweetpoetrypersona @squiishymeow @ddenoudepression @moonlight-at-nighttime @asters-abditory @fatoompie @ikaeryn @jayyyynieeee @chuuinggummy @nnniika @iluvvkkh @koeuh @fanfangying1304 @90steele @edenfray @fallenstar11 @reveworld @mywonie

if anyone would like to be added to my permanent taglist, please ask! id love to add more people to it :)

[missn00tson]

Am I the only person that hated s4 of tua?

Look, i am a big fan of the series, and I was so happy when the new season came out.

And s3 was a bit long for me, in the sense that some scenes were boring, so I wasnt too unhappy with a shorter season.

But what was this

Spoilers for The umbrella Academy season 4!

First of all, the whole Five and Lila relationship.

They are platonic friends, like siblings. Who thought it would be a fun idea to make them romantic all of a sudden?

"Oh, but they got stuck in time for 7 years its only natural"

You have to be shitting me.

I've been celibate for over 7 years, you think I'd date my brothers WIFE if we spend time tgt for those years? No. Fuck no.

It doesnt even seem to click with Five's personality, because he's so insanely loyal and caring towards his family. He would not do that, if we were to follow his personality from s1 to 3.

This brings me to Ben.

I have never been the biggest sparrow Ben fan, I'll admit that. I've always been an umbrella Ben fan and sometimes I wished sparrow Ben was more like him.

So you can imagine, I was happy when he started to appear more caring for Jeniffer.

Until they totally switched up his character.

Yes, he was influenced by the bond (which reminds me of the whole nesting situation of the last episode, which I must admit was very entertaining) which made him more loving yadaydaydaya. But everyone shows their love in a different way, sparrow Ben' type of loving is in no way shape or form sweettalking and grossly cutesy forms of affaction.

You might think so (the writers apparently did) but I surely disagree.

So his personality was, as you might guess, also out of the window.

His talking brings me to my next point. The dialogue.

I'm not sure if its just me, but it was so.goddamn.messy.

It was no dialogue, it was just a bomb of one liners aiming for nothing.

It had no feeling, no personality. Its as if the writers saw the one liners we liked, pasted them into an ai engine, and let it spit out 100 new ones to fill the movie.

I would like to give specific examples, but it happened all.the.time. If you dont believe me, watch the last episode. The only in character person was Victor (even though he's not my bestie, I loved that they stayed true to his character) with wanting to save his siblings, standing up to their father, wanting to keep his peace but always choosing to help his siblings no matter how much they hurt him in the past.

He was the only one who felt like the same person as the other season. Even Reggie was a goddamn mess (and thats something to say about that uptight bastard)

Now this part is purely personal. But the plot? The scenes? The entire construction was such a mess.

First of all. 7 years in that station? 7years? Youre telling me that super smart old man Five didnt think to look at those lines first before stepping in that train? You think "I must know everything and enything about everything and anything" Five didnt look up, took a good glance at those letters and knew. "Mhmm. Thats that weird writing my father used. How bout I try to TRANSLATE it BEFORE i step on this mystery train?"

If you think him stepping on a random train, not even looking at the map he picked up is in charcater? Sincerely, quit shitting my dick cuz no way you think that.

And then him giving up on finding his siblings? He was in an apocalypse for what? 50 years? And he always kept the stupid eye, thinking it might save his siblings. And now, here he is, giving up on them cuz he' a lil lost in daddy's train station?

Babes, you cant be serious.

Im aware that this post is very opinionated, and perhaps negative, but thats just how itll be. But if you feel offended by anything here, I do apologise. I love the series aswell, but his season, felt more like a 12 year old' followup story of season 3 (and that is not to say that 12 yo' cant write, cuz some of them r amazing, but you get the idea) and I cant believe they actually funded this.

And that is not to start about the decisions they made. Ben making them drink the marigold? Five not just going back to that moment if he could time travel (which he coulve bcz him and Lila went back to the "present" which is 7 years earlier than when they were stuck). Then stop them from drinking the Sake/Marigold. Merging the marigold with Jennifer and everything is fixed? Bcz they didnt have their powers anymore?

Either way

I might follow up on this, I might not.

But I do hope that some share my opinion, even if many dont.

Bye loves!

[our-genderfluid-experience]

So like heres the thing, ive always wanted to yap about my gender journey but I havent came out to anyone yet, so like at first im like just a girl and whatever the hell and perhaps even a bit confused about my gender so at certain point i discover what a demigirl means and im like "OH FUCK THATS ME" so yeah very cool but YEARS LATER I start questioning my gender more, like "ay sometimes I feel more boyish yk? Maybe theres something different here" and like, ive never thought about being trans before cuz i never hated my body or myself or my name, I pretty much loved myself but then I start questioning "Oh hey what if I AM trans?" And I started to look more into it but I wasnt sure because I didnt knew if I really liked the idea of being trans, I didnt like the idea to have to choose my gender because maybe I was doing the wrong choice, but the thing is: I started looking into more genders, and I was like "Oh Im def not nonbinary cuz Im not a they them I dont like that idea at all" (and yeah i was right) and i was also like "Oh no I dont wanna be G E N D E R F L U I D because thatd be weird like always switching my gender" (Funfact yeah i wanted to swap my gender all the time, i constantly thought about it but just didnt like the genderfluid title in specific) But then like months later i see a video on youtube of "how to know if your genderfluid" and thats when it clicked. So I started looking into genderfluidity and started actually understanding and relating to it and well.... Wow, turns out I am gendefluid. And I kinda like the title now

Now im in a journey of exploring the genderfluidity. Perhaps testing switching genders online? Or even thinking about how I wanted my body to be, etc etc. Im pretty much very less confused now, although I get a bit frustrated when I have to pretend to be fem when Im feeling masc lmao. Also, still thinking about wether im gonna or not come out to someone

Thank you for yapping! I'm glad you're less confused now, and I wish you the best on the rest of your gender journey

[kibbits]

Hi okay so I've been rotating the break a leg boys in my very neurodivergent head and. I don't know the specifics because I don't know theater or musicals, but with the everything about them - having to relearn how to be themselves, essentially unmasking, and the difficulty with social cues that comes with actually interacting people rather than just performing for them - I just. Okay wait lets start differently -

At some point they become true friends with Y/N, we know that! But do they know? They never had friends before, and with their difficulties I can just see them struggling to even understand the concept, much less where the lines are, and wondering if Y/N considers them friends too!

So while I don't know how you planned it out/ if you have something different in mind already, I just kept thinking of a scene where they wonder and try to ask - hey, are we friends? But they're scared of misunderstanding cues because it's all new, so they fall back onto their scripts! Because despite everything, they know those, and they're reliable and familiar! So they rope Y/N into a little improv scene or perhaps a little musical number where the characters proclaim their friendship, and then they just. kinda trickle out of the scene to ask - are we? because just asking outright is scary, but they can mask it as a play, while also trying to reach past that comfort zone, and I just think they'd really need some sort of confirmation that yes, they are friends!

(and that certainly is not projection as someone who struggles to identify boundaries for friendships and likes to double check also - I mean the boys have the extra complication of Y/N being assigned that job to care for them! I'm sure there's anxieties involved, once the masks begin to crumble! Okay I can be normal now this is. long. GFHDSJ)

HI OK SO!!!! YOU BLEW MY MIND COMPLETELY WITH THIS ASK AA

So uh as you know you're the one who recently made me realize I'm audhd and,, , in the light of that,, , SO MUCH of my own goddamn AU just. clicks.

----------

first of all-- YES! Yes, I totally see them doing that! Setting up an elaborate scene and thinking about how it'll go, late at night (imagining in scripts how YN might react)

They purposefully leave the end of the script blank so YN (who might not realize it's based on reality at first, or sees it but thinks they're reading too much into it) gets to the end and goes: "Uuuh guys? I think I'm missing a page? Are they friends or not?"

And the boys go: "We don't know-- are they?" (hopeful puppydog eyes)

----------

Second of all, I'll use this as a jumping point under readmore cause my god it made me see the AU in a new light dfkljdg

Cause uh I realize now that it's not just an AU about 'what if they'd never become daycare attendants' but rather about acting (masking, putting up a front, internality vs externality, discovering sentience, discovering themselves and each other as people) in general

So I think that first of all,, due to the nature of the thing, YN is probably ALSO audhd and struggles with boundaries, because I do, too. (head in hands i genuinely didnt notice now much i coded them pff But then again, uh... I am ALSO pretty good at masking fgjkldg)

I can get very attached to people very fast, and I call people my friends easily (but like. several different kinds of friendships?? Different degrees of intimacy and points of connection) but i also need to hear it from the people in return or else i get wary of "taking up too much space" (despite the irony of liking when other people are interested gjklgd)

----------

But. MY GOD LUCE. THEY'RE ALL SO ND (specifically Autistic and ADHD, healthy dose of anxiety and More)

So we've got Sun and Moon who are a Problem Animatronic, who are Strange and Offputting sometimes. They take their roles too seriously, they embody them, they don't 'act like real people' outside of that. They follow arbitrary rules, and expect you to know and follow them, too.

And then Y/N comes along, and they immediately follow along with their rules (read:script/assigned role) not only that? But they clearly establish their own rules, too, as well as reasons for Sun and Moon to follow them (god. you see what I mean by everything being so clear in retrospect??)

Management sees: Holy shit, after countless maimed staff members, a(disposable one)n intern bumbles along into the closet where the Actor has been shoved, and miraculously gets them both to cooperate??? And they survive? Without injury?

Sun/Moon see: FINALLY some good fazzing food communication!

In reality: AUDHD to AUDHD communication is happening dfklgjkld

----------

so uh just wanted to say all 3 are AUDHD.

Sun collected all the kinetic/high energy symptoms and habits, like physical hyperactivity and restlessness, full body stimming (watch out for the limbs!) poor volume control, jumping the gun and interrupting, things like that

Moon got the more internal ones: Non-verbal or minimal words a lot of the time, doesn't like to be perceived when he's not acting, sits like a gargoyle/floor time/other pressure stim (WILL flop onto you) and also chewing fkljdgj, innatention etc

They both def don't have personal space awareness, are anxious and restless but in different ways, sound stims/echolalia out the wazoo

Y/N by nature will be different but since its my AU they'll reflect mine so. healthy mix/helping of both? fgjklgdl Inattentive, both super observant and blind to obvious things, sometimes less verbal, sometimes hyperverbal, pacing and shaking their hands like they can't contain all the things they want to say, Floor Time (tm)

----------

Lots of mirroring and parallel play hangouts, they're all both cats and golden retrievers your honor. Sun will pick up YN and/or pace. Moon will flop over/near them. YN is good with both jkldk They can hang out in silence, or talk for HOURS.

YN will just start singing a random silly thing and bouncing in place and the bots will sometimes mirror (Moon not so much verbally but he can hum, and Sun can actually talk through the speakers (buttons) on their chest while Moon is out anyway)

Oh yeah that's another thing! Sun can help Moon out if he's out but has a hard time communicating, because they can both talk while the other's out as part of their duet setting. They don't often do it, though, because most of the staff would freak out if they knew they were both active at the same time? Which is silly, it's literally built into their routines/gimmick!

Man now I am thinking of so many nice hangouts (of course its not ALL sunshine and rainbows but. They click well.

[phantalgia]

Respiratory alkalosis: Progress on my other physical symptoms

I was just reminded, one of the things I learned from my doctors appointment (outside of covid) was something called respiratory alkalosis. This is increased breathing that leads to reduced levels of CO2.

Funny enough, the symptoms of respiratory alkalosis looks familiar if you have dysautonomia and it certainly does. In fact it's started to get me to question if I even have dysautonomia at all.

I do a lot of sighing, and when I’m stressed my breathing changes. However. Something doesn't seem right.

Usually my breathing pattern is low and shallow, but there are points in which that changes. It's not exclusive to anxiety/stress or is it? I don’t know. In fact, this could be the reason why I've had symptoms for so long.

See, when I was younger. In the summer usually, I would notice that it got harder to take in air for whatever reason. This lead to a lot of anxiety of course which begs the question. Is this anxiety or something else?

I get that feeling of not enough air a lot. It's worse when I’m upright. I don’t really quite buy the idea that I hyperventilate. If I do, there's a reason. I get tired out, short of breathe for some random reason, cant focus, head hurts and need a big breathe or two. This can then lead into those episodes.

So, ok, respritory alkalosis. Why that? What is causing that? I found some extra details on this site:

https://www.potsuk.org/managingpots/breathing-pattern-disorders-in-pots/

There's a part where it says that low and shallow breathing decreases the fight or flight response. Now, I don’t know if POTS/dysautonomia applies to me, but some of this stuff on breathing pattern issues might at least and it could be a long term thing.

Something doesn't seem right. It doesn't seem to be only an anxiety/stress thing. There is definetly something in which it feels like I’m not getting enough air or need to breathe bigger as I’m idle and upright. What that is I have no idea. It could be anxiety for all I know or something else.

I havent seen any connections between autonomonic issues and breathing issues, this was the only closest thing. POTS has 80-90% association with breathing pattern dysfunction or hyperventilation. It doesn't mean anything in my case yet. I think the takeaway is that there might be a physicial aspect to my breathing pattern that has changed.

Perhaps it was those early panic attacks I had as a kid that caused the change. Perhaps not. I remember vividly a time in which I was complaining about not getting enough air. And it seemed physical which then lead to actual panic attacks or deep anxiety and conciousness about my breathing.

Over time I got used to it and I was desensitized to the point where I didnt even notice it anymore. But now that I learned about this. Something is clicking in my head and I’m kind of worried right now, which doesn't help of course.

If I had a long term change in my breathing pattern since I was a teenager, what the hell caused that change? Is there something messed up that makes me breathe that way? It might not be.

My doctor and my Dad both have the opposite problem. They'll hold in their breath, not breath for a while and then return. Yet here they both are still kicking.

Alas, this is actual progress on my long term issues. It's not a full answer but is in the right direction. The question now is where did this come from? Is it truly anxiety that altered my breathing pattern or something else?

The implications are big for me. No wonder why I couldnt focus in school, got headaches, was fatigued easily. I was breathing too much. This causes a decrease in blood flow to the brain, hence the headaches and trouble focusing.

I don’t want any long term problems and I hope I don’t get any. I really want answers. So it seems like we're much closer than before. But not at the full picture.

Another thing I do know is respiratory alkalosis has gotten worse since both my surgery and covid. One of the big things I've noticed is how sensitive I am to dizzy episodes from just my breathing. An example is laughing hard. I used to handle laughing fits pretty well. I had recently after a long time laughed super hard, I was practically covering my face with tears, I was dizzy as hell, lightheaded, and started to shake violently. Cleary that's not exclusive to respiratory alkalosis, and there is some autonomonic stuff in there if Im getting a reaction like that.

Who knows...the search and resolution still continues. But hey at least there's some progress...

[eziojensenthe3rd]

Midnight Gaming: A tale of Horny Furries

So I played The Crown Of Leaves past midnight, checked socials to find... Silksong confirmed to NOT appear in tuesdays games onl.

So Geoff Keighley cleared the air on twitter, letting hollow knight fans know not to hold thier breath for silksong this tuesday.

I havent played hollow knight myself but im aware that a lot of people enjoyed it and were waiting for the dlc-that-got-changed-to-a-sequel game. Send a prayer and hug to any hollow knight fans you see, y'aint all back quite yet.

So heres a lil story, I started following an artist few years back when I first saw their artwork and it enchanted me. Thier artwork contained characters in scenes just looking fantastic, different little details that were enjoyable to search, you know the term a picture is worth a thousand words? Theirs were worth a whole novel each. All of it wrapped in a world that you only get a glimpse of with each picture, accompanied with a description that tells a very short story. You know how dark souls had a lot of its lore within item and weapon descriptions? Same vibe and I loved them. It was the kind of world I wished there was some media, like a book, an animation, a game perhaps, where I could explore that world more.

So I followed this artist for a while, got excited for every new bit of art they posted, and over time they changed some things. About their characters, about the world. It was gradual so I paid no mind at first but eventually it got to the point where I realised I enjoyed their art less than I did before. The art was still good, the quality was still fantastic, I just dont feel as interested in them as I did before. They changed their characters and world so much, it just didn't do it for me. I could show you two images of what looked like two characters and hear me explain to you that they're infact the same character, ones just a more recent characterisation.

Now let me make this clear here, this is purely my personal opinion here. If the artist is happy with thier changes, then thats fine, more power to them. Its their world and characters to do with, my thoughts do not override that. I am not demanding they revert those changes just to suit my taste, i'd rather they didnt do that and just do what appeals to them. To make art for themselves. And if you happen to figure out who I'm talking about, please keep it to yourself. I do not want this artist harrassed on my behalf so please dont, this is a me problem.

Now as I said, I loved the look of their world that I wanted something like a game to explore it. So one day as I browsed the steam store, I managed to stumble across this game that had me shook. The screenshots, the characters, the enviroments. It looked a tad similar to the artist I followed but it was an entirely different world, tho it carried the spirit of what drew me in with that previous artists work in the first place and I checked to be sure, that artist's name was nowhere in the credits so they werent involved at all in this. Needless to say I picked it up just on that principle alone and... didnt play it until last night. Funny how that works.

So The Crown Of Leaves is a visual novel/point and click hybrid with following different routes and talking to folks like a visual novel and collecting items, solving puzzles like a point and click. Your just following a simple day as roui, trying to get by until some weird shit happens. And thats all im gonna say on the story without spoiling it. Listen, when I started playing, it had me hooked. The art just gut punched me right in the very place I felt was missing. It drew me in like the art I used to study with that old artist. Clicking on various objects just to hear little snippets, grabbing lil pieces of lore about the world I was in, seeing the characters and hearing them talk, their personalities just fleshed out and fascinating. Man, I was practically in love all over again.

In fact, im just gonna fill the rest of this post with some of this games art just so you can see what I mean.

Now, I do recommend this game but there is one thing you should know. The game isnt done, so far theres only two chapters with chapter three in progress but bare in mind it is a small indie team so take my recommendation with a grain of salt. Regardless you should definatly pick it up.

Maybe 18th century furries that live in a fantasy world that have a sort of gothic/mystical vibe do be one of my favourite genders.

See you all tomorrow. Feel free to leave game suggestions and feedback. Anons are currently on.

[beekeeperspicnic]

Same anon. I also just wanna start off by saying that i know nothing about game design, i also am very very new to this blog/game and i dont want to sound overly critical or make you think that these are huge problems that need fixing, its mostly just small things i noticed that felt a little odd but otherwise didnt take away from the experience too much. You also definitely don't have to "fix" anything if these are intentional design choices. Im not familiar with these types of games at all so i might just experience mild culture shock about it. You also don't have to respond to this and you can feel free to delete this ask if you wish to for whatever reason <333

So, I think you've mentioned this already but it felt a bit odd that it was silent when there was dialogue. (I think) you mentioned you didn't want or couldn't have actual voice acting but i think any sound that indicates speech could work! Like little beepings or tappings? Perhaps that can be turned on or off in potential settings? Otherwise, i really liked the sound designs in the game!

Im 99% sure it is an intentional design choice because its a retro/retro inspired game but sometimes it felt like foregrounds and backgrounds melted together because there are only colour blocks and never/rarely any clear lines. Might also be because im colourblind but it made it a bit hard for me to distinguish where everything was, especially the fossil in the cottage living room. Definitely not a big problem, i did get there in the end, after all, but perhaps something to at least be aware of? :3

Lastly, the options menu in the dialogue looks a little out of place to me. I think it might be the black background? This might also be an intentional design choice, it just looked a little clunky to me (again, as someone not used to retro games! So it might just be a me thing!). Perhaps different/more fitting colours or outlined text with no background could potentially work?

Again, very sorry for the huge ask and if anything of this sounds.... /Bad/. I definitely don't mean for it to sound that way and i totally understand if all of this is something you dont want or cant change. After all, while i enjoyed the demo im def not your core audience as someone who hasn't grown up with/played games like these <3333

Thanks for the feedback!

Alas I can't afford to have this game speech acted (I would like to but the costs would be phenomenal), and personally I just don't "get" having beeping or clicking noises or wah wah sounds when characters are talking, especially since the rest of the sound design is naturalistic. I just find that a really weird idea? You're not the first person to mention it though, so.... idk. Perhaps I'll try it sometime just to see if I can warm up to it.

There's not a great deal I can do about the art style at this stage - I've already spent the last year completing most of the artwork. If it helps the trilobite isn't in the main game! It's just a demo thing. If there is a particular colour combo that didn't work for you I'd be interested to know.

I can change the black background at least! I was just going for something high contrast, but I could try deep green or something.

Idk if I want my core audience to be people who play retro games - in fact I am pretty worried that point and click adventure gamers won't really be into it! So I appreciate the perspective.

[haysgrove]

ooh i do!!! what's up with your blorbos? /gen

ok just for clarification im talking abt Licorice, Red Velvet nd Dark Choco

i just start thinking abt them and i get sad cause their involvement with Dark Enchantress is actually kind of really fucking tragic i think

but the thing abt them is that they dont seem troubled with their decisions. Well except for Dark Choco, actually lets start with him

i feel so fucking bad for Dark Choco cause the poor man stumbled upon a cursed sword that made him do really fucked up shit and he was SO ashamed of himself that he joined Dark Enchantress NOT bc it was something that he wanted to do, but he thought it was something he DESERVED because he was so ashamed of his actions. Like. This poor man felt so guilty about something that wasnt even his fault, that he started to think "i deserve a path of darkness. nothing more." and he was SO miserable working with Dark Enchantress especially bc Pomegranate made him fucking. relive his trauma as a way of punishment. but he stuck around BECAUSE HE FULLY BELIEVED HE DESERVED TO BE MISERABLE

obviously couldnt help but get spoiled w the fact that Dark Choco finally left the CoD and honestly i couldnt be happier for him. My beloved. My blorbo. I care him so much.

Now im super fucking intrigued with Red Velvet cause hes like. content with being on Dark Enchantress' side. But the more i think about it im like... okay but he didnt have an option in the first place. He just so happen to be born at the exact place and time that Dark Enchantress was there, and she took him in. Red Velvet was a terrified child of course he was gonna leave with her. And its safe to assume she raised him obviously. So the fact that Dark Enchantress was fucking filled with rage upon discovering the truth about her species and her newfound goal of destroying the witches, of course she was gonna put this view of life onto Red Velvet's little mind. Of course he thinks Dark Enchantress has a grand vision, because he grew up with it and has never heard about any other vision besides hers!!!!

He sees the flaws in other cookies and it immediately feeds onto Dark Enchantress's views, especially because he has cake traits. The other cookies call them "cake monsters", hes part cake, why would he be on the side of the cookies who call him a monster??? Whereas Dark Enchantress was not bothered by his cake arm when they first met. She gave him sympathy. So he stuck around her side and is most likely content by doing so because he hasnt had the chance to create his own view of the world. Perhaps because he knows that, even if he tries, he feels like Dark Enchantress will be right in certain ways. Maybe not all of them. But it will most likely be enough for him

And Licorice. Oh Licorice. I get so sad when i think about him. Im pretty sure on ep 13-14 we know the tiniest bit more about him but since i just started w ep 13 i dont have all the details but nevermind that

Licorice joined Dark Enchantress because he was impressed by her power, but given the little bit of background he has on his info, that he failed to get the recognition he rightfully deserved, it makes me believe that this was also a part on why he joined her. We havent been told on how exactly him and Dark Enchantress met, its not even mentioned in the story. The only bit we have is the "On his dark path, he met Dark Enchantress Cookie. The might of the sorceress astonished Licorice Cookie, and it didn't take long before he swore his allegiance" on Licorice's description

What WAS Licorice's dark path? What did he do that lead to meeting Dark Enchantress?

Also, at one point during ep 13 i think? When talking about the Licorice Sea, Licorice says "I spent years trying to get as far away from this foul sea, but where have i ended up? Back here" and also THIS text that appears when you click the Licorice Village and Licorice is on your team

and im so curious about it cause WHY does Licorice have such dislike to his hometown? and why did they use this specific sprite when making him say this. If Licorice really had hatred toward the place he was assumedly raised in, they would probably used his annoyed or angry sprite, not his sad one. Right?

So i believe Licorice wasnt recognized at all, not even on his childhood, which is what made him leave and meet Dark Enchantress. And it makes me even more sad because Licorice isnt recognized in the CoD either. Not in the slightest. Pomegranate is DE's right hand woman, Red Velvet is technically her son, so i think she has at least SOME sort of endearment to him. And i guess, she probably DID have, at least just the tiniest little bit of joy and pride about having Dark Choco on her team. Because he is her rival's son. So even if it was like. selfish?? i think?? i believe there still was some sort of pride. Some sort of amusement. And Poison Mushroom is a literal child so ofc everyone is gonna treat them softly

He assumedly saw other kids getting recognized, but not him. And now he sees his co-workers getting recognized, but not him. Which is why hes so pathetically starved for affection, for reassurance. Because he KNOWS its something that exists, but its something that HE has never experienced, and he wants it, he craves it so fucking badly

i still have so much in my mind but i just

[sparleco]

Will business animals still be a Video Game ? Are you still working on this project?

YES i am still working on it! Kind of..... I've had to step away from it a little because since ive finished school ive hit a bit of a slump. I made an insane amount of work in like a month and a half- dr pyranine didnt become the main character until right after midterm.... without a solid goal i have trouble getting work done ive found. the double edged sword of autism lol

I still Love the characters and world i made though and will never drop them. Ideally, the story would be split into different mediums and gameplay genres depending on the story point! Like comic sections, visual novel with point and click aspects, rpg, business sim.... not to be a NERD but im really intrigued in how different experiences and aesthetics affect how the story is delivered. which is kinda (hopefully) clear in the book.

I also UNFORTUNATELY dont have the resources to make the video game aspects real YET. I don't have a computer or money. Part of the struggle i had developing it is knowing if i wanted to make it real i would need help, but i do not have the money to pay people, and having people do work for me without proper compensation goes against everything i believe.

i have been heavily considering starting the comic portion in the meantime.... perhaps this will provide some motive...!!!! but ye!!! Thanks for asking :3 i really do love this project ive just been having a hard time ajfhshfbbs. AND SORRY THIS ANSWER IS SO LONG!!!