#but shhhhh we don't talk about that

[izamationbroker]

Can y'all tell I'm bored out of my mind rn with how many crazy-ass rants I've gone on this morning? What a way to start this blog, and I was worried I'd be my usual socially anxious self and only quietly reblog other people's shit.

[the-spam-specialist]

I'm craving Amethio and Ceruledge content HELP

[squarebracket-trickster]

First outdoor writing session of the year!!

Also featuring a bunch of song birds, seagulls, and windchimes!! (I've spent more time taking these pictures than I have actually writing shhh)

[breitzbachbea]

Also, while I do get a chuckle out of "You couldn't waterboard this out of me" and everyone can what they want on their posts, I think that like. 15 Yo writing Hetalia fanfiction is smth v normal, especially as a past thing. Not that much shame in it to me.

[bam-monsterhospital]

I -justly- complain about eso a lot here, but there are some good bits and bobs in it if you really dig.

Madam Whim, for example, is one of those good bits and bobs. She's just a straight up gaddamn faerie: she trades in intangible things (experiences, feelings, memories, knowledge) for other intangible things, is constantly intrigued by people (mortals specifically), is a delight to converse/work with, values politeness and decorum (but also actually cares about at least one of her lil minion workers aaaaaa) but is still very obviously dangerous, keeps track of everyone, afjdkslf;sda

i love her, your honor.

[brownhairedbookworm]

“We need to talk.”

She spoke curtly, foot lightly tapping. She’s trying to be firm, she isn’t half as angry, she still loves her but she’s terrified. She killed four whole people like it was nothing, how could she not be terrified?

"I know. Is the phone enough, or do you... Want to pick somewhere?" Monika sighs. Maeve has good reason to hate her, even to be afraid. Where can they even talk that she'd feel safe?

[usuallydyinginside]

TLDR: Francesca Bridgerton is Autistic. Fight me.

Okay so I did not go into Season 3 of Bridgerton expecting to have any feelings about Francesca Bridgerton. We have seen her only in glimpses in the show and I have not read the books, so I knew basically nothing about her before binging the first four episodes.

But guys. GUYS. I will die for this autistic queen.

Okay, so starting with first impressions. We know that on her big day, Francesca went out of her way to avoid her nosy, loud family by having a very early, quiet breakfast by herself and then calming down via playing the piano (clearly a special interest of hers).

In her first balls, we see Francesca light up any time she talks about music (clearly her current or forever special interest) but as soon as men try to take it to a flirting place she IMMEDIATELY shuts down. It's clear that even as she states very matter-of-factly that she plans to marry this season, she also is baffled and uncomfortable any time someone tries to actually, ya know, court her.

At one of her first shindigs, she got attention and then went up to her brother and (while making almost no eye contact) told him (rather than asked him) that she needed a sec.

She then sat by herself in the side of the ballroom.

Later on, she left a ball in search of quiet and solitude to fix her sensory overload, so she went outside this time. (A thing that we know from pervious seasons is a HUGE no-no, particularly unchaperoned. But she was very respectfully near the door so maybe that's fine?) The point is that she cares very much about staying respectable so she can get this marriage thing over with and get people to stop perceiving her, yet she risks some scandal by going outside just so she can be somewhere quiet alone.

Enter: this absolute (also autistic) Prince Charming.

He says hello (so she knows he's not like trying to sneak up on her in the dark like a creep) and then just stands there. 10/10, no notes, best way to flirt I have ever seen in my life.

Seriously just look at this. I'm in love. Never before has there been a greater sign of love at first sight than in this "standing politely five feet apart in total silence in the middle of a ball and enjoying each other's company."

I need to go watch these first four episodes about a hundred more times, but I THINK this might be the first sincere smile we see from Francesca??!? I at least got the impression immediately that this is the first time she's felt genuinely comfortable and happy while not entirely alone this season.

Like, these nerds did not even exchange names. They barely exchanged a word. Yet you can see them falling head over heels in love right there in that moment. I don't even LIKE love at first sight tropes and they have my whole heart. They are the only exception.

Then, of course, you have this second absolutely iconic Scene of Silence where the entire Bridgerton family stares in neurotypical confusion a these two amazing weirdos. The way these two do not know each other but they DO know each other. The way they are both so happy and so comfortable but also still playing the whole society game the way they were told they had to?? I just don't have words right now.

LOOK AT HER SMILE, GUYSSSSSSSS.

Look how happy this tiny, silent moment is making her. How she understands immediately what he's doing and is absolutely delighted to participate too even knowing her entire family is hardcore judging them from not that far away.

And then you get this smug little look from him and it's like you can see his autistic ass thinking, "Yes. I calculated correctly. This was the correct romance option. Gold star to me." (Okay, maybe that's just how my brain works but shhhhh)

Which, of course, brings us to this absolutely hilariously awkward ND attempt at flirting. We start off with some fairly normal "whoops, I'm flustered cause you make me nervous" sort of moments, but notice how little eye contact she makes. How she only looks in his eyes very briefly and it seems like she almost has to remind herself to do so when she's doing the "polite" answers (OR later when she's genuinely interested in a topic).

So as soon as Francesca is like "oh shit, I ruined it. I forgot how to neurotypical. It's over" then she loses patience with the practiced social niceties.

I spent like 30 minutes trying to find a GIF and I should already be asleep so I'm not going to go learn how to make one BUT I needed to look up exactly what happens next cause it's basically the most autistic thing I've ever seen.

WHICH IS that in response to the second awkward silence after Francesca shares all of this, John's response is, "That is helpful. If you'll excuse me."

Then dude bro just WALKS AWAY WITHOUT ANOTHER WORD.

Like it would be awkward anyway but now Francesca thinks she misread a social cue so she's feeling sad, and meanwhile this absolute king is over here on a romantic mission no one asked him to do because he is that set on showing her he's listening and cares.

The man shows up at the ball and as soon as he had a paper we were all screaming "he wrote her a song!!!"

Again, notice the eye contact (or lack thereof). I think with period dramas and women, it's easy to just go "oh she's just shy" or "she's just being demure like she's supposed to" but like NO. This girl does not want to meet anyone's eyes.

Until she does. Because in moments where she's talking about music or enjoying quiet, it's worth it to purposefully meet his eyes and see how he's feeling too. To make sure he can see she's happy.

ANYWAY, it was so much better than him writing a song for her.

SO. MUCH. BETTER.

Because he didn't just give her any ol' music. He sought out the music they'd specifically heard in the street, and he took her exact specifications on what was "wrong" with the music, and he FIXED IT. He then put the whole thing on sheet music and handed her a copy with no further explanation than this.

Our autistic lass was so excited she basically sprinted out of that ball so she could find a piano. (Which, the fact that she does this rather than try to stay and flirt/dance with the man who just gave her this incredible gift ALSO says a lot, just saying. Daphne could never.)

So our girl finds a piano and GUYS. LOOK AT HOW HAPPY SHE IS.

I'm pretty sure this woman would accept a proposal right this second. Maybe make one herself. She is so head over heels in love with this man that it's absurd. We have watched her mask in these first four episodes, but the last two where she's interacting with John are the first times she seems genuinely happy and like the real her is shining through.

Like, does she enjoy her family? Sure. But it's obvious (and she even tells us) that she finds them overwhelming and generally to be A Lot. But these scenes? This gesture?

You can just get how seen she feels. How weird and wild and amazing it is to her that this man can see who she actually is and wants to join her there instead of making her play some part of the perfect Bridgerton who likes to be the center of attention.

(And even here - the EYE CONTACT. She glances at people when she's talking to them, but the way she looks at the sheet music is so much more intense and intimate and personal than anytime she's looking at the average person in the show. She still even in places she's most comfortable, such as sitting at the piano, makes very little eye contact and only at very specific moments.)

Anyway I'm going to sleep now but I'm sure I'll add more thoughts as they come to me. Feel free to add your own case for why Francesca is autistic and/or otherwise neurodivergent. I want to hear allllllll the thoughts.

[dcxdpdabbles]

Eight-year-old Bruce: Who is the boy in the attic?

Thomas: We don't talk about him

Ten-year-old Bruce: Who is the boy in the attic

Alfred: I've never seen anyone up there, Master Bruce. But if I did, I would recommend acting as though you never saw him

Twenty-four-year-old Bruce: Don't go to the attic

Nine-year-old Dick: Why not?

Bruce: The Waynes just don't go up there or acknowledge what may or may not be there. You just never let those things know you can see them

Danny, haunting Wayne Manor for over a decade: SQUATTER RIGHTS

Dick: What was-

Bruce: Shhhhh, go to sleep. You heard nothing. You saw nothing. You say nothing.

[roxanneslosteyes]

Lloyd: "Hey guys, Do you want a D-E-S-S-E-R-T?"

Mollie: "Yes, Lloyd! I need me a T-R-E-A-T!"

Rambley: "What you guys talking about?"

Salem: "Yeah, Why did you guys spell desse-"

Mollie: "SHHHHH"

Lloyd: "No no no shut up! Don't say it!"

Salem: "Uh, why?"

Lloyd: "Oh god, how do we tell you?"

Finley: "Rambley can't spell..."

Salem: "....what?"

Lloyd: "He can't spell! So when we talk about something we want, we spell it outloud so he doesn't get too excited!"

Salem: "He's a grown raccoon! He can't handle the word treat?!"

Rambley: "TREAT?!"

Lloyd: "NO TREAT!"

Rambley: "TREAT?!"

Lloyd: "NO TREAT!"

Rambley: "TREAT?!"

Lloyd: "No treat!"

Rambley: "Awh :("

Salem: "Okay, what's happening?"

Mollie: "Lloyd and Finley told you! He gets excited when he hears the word T-R-E-A-T!"

Rambley: "Whatcha talking about?"

Finley: ".....taxes..."

Rambley: "Awh shucks :("

Salem: "Wait...So you guys just treat him like a baby raccoon?"

Rambley: "TREAT!?"

Mollie: "No treat!"

Rambley: "TREAT?!"

Mollie: "No treat!"

Rambley: "Treat?!"

Mollie: "No treat!"

Rambley: "Awwwww :("

Lloyd: "Salem! You gotta spell if you talking about F-O-O-D!"

Salem: "Okay so you guys are getting a S-N-A-C-K?"

Rambley: "SNACK?!"

Finley: "Oh, come on..."

Lloyd: "Salem really?"

Mollie: "Awh man..."

Salem: "OH COME ON! I SPELLED IT!"

Lloyd: "Well he knows how to spell snack!"

Salem: "So he can spell snack but he cannot spell treat?!"

Rambley: "TREAT?!"

Salem: "NO TREAT!!"

Rambley: "TREAT?!"

Salem: "NO TREAT!"

Rambley: "TREAT?!"

Salem: "NO TREAT!!"

Rambley: "GOSH DANG IT!!"

Mollie: "Okay, he is getting fussy. Time for a N-A-P!"

Rambley: "Yeahhh!! :)"

Salem: "What does N-A-P spell?"

Rambley: "Party."

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

me, waking up drenched in sweat, violently sitting up in bed and letting out a gasp: IT'S A METAPHOR FOR BEING A YOUTUBER

idk if someone already thought of this and this is also probably the most obvious reading of it but here i go anyway: i was just walking a dog and listening to potato prints and when phil said "you've come a long way daniel" i was like "huh phil is in the teaching position in all of these just like he was for youtube" like phil just gives editing pro tips the whole time and it all parallels their story as a youtube duo.

and obviously the entertainment industry is rife (not proper usage of that word but it Feels Right so fuck you) with satanic symbolism/imagery/iconography/motifs. being an entertainer is "selling your soul to the devil" etc etc and we know dan hates being a youtuber and does feel that way. you gotta upload twice a day every day in order to be the number one art channel on youtube dot com after all. you gotta make those crafts for satan. bo burnham has a ton of lyrics/songs that i'm thinking about rn like "you used to do comedy when you felt like being funny but now you're contractually obligated so dance you fucking monkeeeey DANCE MONKEY DAAAANCE" and in "repeat stuff" which is a commentary of how mainstream pop love songs and pop stars have to be really superficial and unoriginal because they need to appeal to everyone and at one point he sucks satan off lmao and is like AHFRUEHQFWIIO I AM A VESSEL IDUSHISKA 666 KAJSDFI ILLUMINATI UIGDFSAHIO FREEMASONS. highly recommend looking at the lyrics to that song if you're into that kind of thing.

also the (very rightful) dig at phannies for the "don't cry craft" spamming like "we love all of our crafty audience that spread the message of this channel on all the other videos on the internet! everywhere! everybody enjoyed that!" is how creators who want to keep status have to address their audiences no matter how annoying or harmful they're being. thinking of the ajr line "stay out of politics, stay on the fence / stay out of all of it to keep half your fans" because like,, yeah if a creator ever expresses an opinion that declares their feelings on one side of an issue then they will lose support (smosh is a perfect example of a bunch of people never ever ever expressing an opinion if it could be considered controversial among their audience, like refusing to address the genocide happening right now and just taking their zionist member who the fans are mad at out of some videos to be like "shhhhh nothing to see here we don't know what you're talking about"), ESPECIALLY if that issue is the behaviour of their audience.

obviously the first dapc video was not made with any intended meaning, they just woke up and were like "let's be weird and freak people out" and they did that, and then adding in symbolism and making it all mean something developed with time. but i'm gonna pretend that it has always had consistent meaning because i'm neurodivergent and love overanalysing silly little media.

i am so jhfbvdahfkiufadkhlj right now so if anyone has more theories or things to add lmk and thank you for coming to my ted talk

[argreion]

Spicy Leon Headcanons!

➻❥ ALRIGHT, since the general headcanons for Leon went off (and honestly got hella shocked I don't have to be like 'professional') and my horny brainworm is literally screeching in my head. It's time to ruin y'all too with some spicy headcanons. I try to account for both sides of the spectrum gender wise so nobody feels TOO left out! <3

➻❥ Warnings: Basically FULL ass sex headcanons, leaning towards some light knife play, gun play, and choking. Food kink, choking, headlock, vibrator torture, some hints at BDSM to a degree. Like I said, full ass sex talk AND Headcanons.

Likes, reblogs, and comments appreciated! Not proofread cause I'm seriously so tired. 😭

RE2R Leon - Alright, buddy, I know everyone headcanons him usually to be a sub. Honestly, I gotta agree. Feels like he would be shy after seeing a few in character depth posts that's he's an ex-Catholic, or that he at least WAS religious. Makes me feel like he's shy sex-wise. Probably pretty sensitive too, and is leaky. Loves when you lick the tip, and sometimes just smack him around a little. Will gladly take the strap if he gets to call you mommy/daddy. Leans either way regardless, degrading or praising. Will wear lingerie if you REALLY want him too. Probably would get embarrassed about it, considering he wants to be a good boyfriend for you! Be the big strong man like everyone wants him to be! In summary, RE2 feels kind of awkward, sweet, and subby!

RE4R Leon - Screams actual pussy or ass eating. He's slowly becoming a little munch, don't even compare him to RE6 or Vendetta, like ACTUALLY. Those fuckers are WAY too far in the munch zone. Gets a little giddy when you wear something special or his clothes. I just gotta say personally boxers actually so comfy, and I know he would like you wearing his clothes. Kisses your neck, chest, and your thighs! He doesn't mean to mark you, he loves ALL of you! Loves to do a little squish on your thighs as he munches, squeeze his head, make him die! It'll be heaven for him, seeing how he's seen death so often nowadays. Above all, he likes trust and comfort, and won't overstep boundaries. Any Leon wants consent, even if it's soggy ass wet cat Vendetta. We've seen the dark content fanfics. (And I loved every single one of 'em, SHHHHH!) RE4R Leon is basically his first domestic sex era to me. Touchy, comforting, and still his sweet self.

ID Leon: Low-key girly pop era for me. Feel like he'll do orgasm denial, and possibly vibrator torture. You struggling is kind of cute to him! Loves it when you start mewling his name, gets his cock so hard! Leaking pre-cum all over your lips, eyes blindfolded, and hands behind your back, and legs spread open! Likes to make you sit in front of him or beneath his desk, and jerk off his cock. Cumming on your face, taking a photo, and then joking about sending it to friends. Gets off to the small thrill of getting caught, or covering you in cum. Would say it starts to lightly thicken up cum-wise. If it's not something like above, possibly cuddle sex. No one can go wrong with cuddle sex, buddy. Rubbing his dick against you, slowly grinding and kissing your neck and shoulder. The other heaven from eating you out. This era is the experimentation, wants to find his kinks and whatnot. Should've done it at twenty, but at least he ain't too old, yet.

Damnation Leon: Lazy, drunk AND lazy. Possibly starts to get slightly kinkier too, with a knife coming into play at some points. The worst I GENUINELY see Leon doing if we're trying to go half-way realistic is pressing the knife to your throat. If you wanna go the dark daddy route, might do some cuts. Licks them up like a kitten and purrs like one. "Oh, you taste so sweet, baby." Tries anal sex too, honestly, he enjoys BOTH holes! If you have 'em, that is. Three if you're AFAB. Counting the mouth, loves getting his dick sucked. This is also when we start seeing the soft whiskey dick show up. Poor guy is popping Viagra and it only works 30% of the time. Gets bummed out and frustrated, but he's still got one job! Pleasure his damn lover! Also, he won't admit, but kind of likes getting fucked from behind, strap or cock alike. HAS TO BE DRUNK, THOUGH! NOT drunk = NO, he will deny deny DENY! Hella cocky when he gets fully drunk, but seriously becomes a buttslut if you hit his prostate. The iconic DBD moans and sounds come in because of this. Lazy drunk era, and slowly realizing he's a slut. Don't say it to his face, he's got to keep some pride.

RE6 Leon: Man, kind of got out the lazy drunk era but still ain't FULLY out. Takes a more sensual approach due to the fact he's getting a few grey hairs and wrinkles. Dick is still soft like always, soft dick Leon is so <3 for me. Likes you riding him on the couch, letting you take control and gently holding your hips. Please make out with him during it, he weirdly finds it hot. Exchanging spit occasionally, too. Likes when either you or him have to wait for the spit to finally drop into the other's mouth. If he could honestly get a boner, he would. Into marking your neck and thighs, it's his your mine era. Let the poor man have it, he can't have anything. ALSO CAN I MENTION THE POSSIBILITY OF SOMNO WITH HIM? Either YOU waking up with him devouring you up, or thrusting into you like it ain't anyone's business? Or waking up to grind and ride him? Purposely tries to stay asleep, and has mastered it to a degree. Still lazy, and still a slut. A seasoned slut for you, (and low-key husband material let's not fuckin' lie.)

Vendetta Leon: Oh boy, it's the soggy cat guy. Imma be honest, even though personally I headcanon Leon regardless of era to be pretty comforting and such. But I can't get it out of my head that Vendetta Leon uses sex to relieve stress. Rarely having ACTUAL loving, emotional sex. If it is that, it's with him with teary eyes. Slow loving sex, and then he's like "Uh... Ok?" The next day. Like bro, are we going to talk about you CRYING yesterday? You certainly cried deep inside of me! Asides from that, motorcycle sex. Stroking your thigh at stop lights, and pulling off into a alleyway or parking lot. Getting brutally fucked into that motorcycle? Mmm, and a gun to your throat or mouth? Sucking his dick with a gun to your head? He's into that now, sadly. Gets shaky if you don't like that, don't worry! He just hates that he THINKS of something that dark! I leave this up to personal headcanons for everyone but the daddy kink is a hit or miss for me for basically all Leon's except Vendetta and Death Island. Both get called Daddy for different reasons, let's get that straight. Likes making you be submissive and grind against his boot. Get it nice and squeaky clean, like a good little bitch. Degradation kink kinda turned up, but he's atuned to your emotions and facial expressions, don't worry. Pussy and ass munch this era hella hard too, makes your skin irritated cause this fucker ain't exactly shaving. PLUS HE BITES!? He isn't fucking around with shit like this, he knows what he wants.

DI Leon: Honey... We're in the DILF era. Man tits out, and the small patch of chest hair out. Motorboat them, gently bite and suck his nipples. It might not exactly turn him off, just the idea makes him warm inside. Not against the idea of vibrator torture against himself, let his cock leak! Cumshake when? In you? Pfft, you'll only make his cock leak more at breeding you! Pop a daughter or son, he wants one! (Preferably a daughter cause girl dad Leon agenda.) Will take the strap, and has no shame. No shame in wearing lingerie, either. Legs spread, lace covering his body, and thong threatening to snap. Adores being able to grind or hump your behind. Against the counter, in bed when your sleeping, work, EVERYWHERE! He doesn't really care, only when he's in the White House. Spit exchange, claiming your neck, and FEASTING LIKE A FUCKING KING ON YOU! Also those biceps wrapped around your throat? You got it, honey! Squeezing you of air, making your eyes roll back as he goes doggy. At the end of the day, he still likes to go back to some of his roots and be soft. Praising you and kissing moles/freckles/scars/etc. Gun kink is kind of gone, have to piss him off to make him do it. Which is HARD, he is patient and honestly outlasts you. Knife? Say the word, he's good with a knife. Tracing your body and whispering how lovely you are. His good little girl/boy/lover. Then... The possibility of a food kink? Putting honey on your chest and licking it off? Whipped cream and cherries on his chest? Your chest? Devoured. He's got a sweet tooth, and he loves to eat a little bit more because of it. Let him enjoy his feast! Even though he has three feasts daily! Last thing before I stop gnawing at the bars of my enclosure. Grinding on his thighs, chest, and face. Ride his nose, feel the burn, he'll cum on spot. The carefree era, and the other half of domestic era at points.

➻❥ AN: Thank you so much for reading! Sometimes you just gotta let the horny out, plus I get to feed everyone a little. You're more then welcome to send asks fluff/smutty if you'd like! This was just meant to feed y'all slightly and I might do little blurbs or something based off whatever my mind throws at my face. Now I can happily pass out knowing I shared my knowledge. 😌❤️

[tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang]

What's something bad all the character's do when in a relationship? (I think you might have done this before???? But I can't find it)

Oh lmao, a lot of these are minor issues but here's what I think!

Mikey- wants to always sleep with his old towel that he never let's you wash, tries to share it with you too even though it's too small and then gets pouty when it doesn't cover you both.

Draken- sometimes he gets a bit too invested motorbike, will ignore you for it.

Takemichi- says he'll handle dinner but then just gets takeout instead of cooking.

Baji- will leave bed in the middle of the night to go feed cats without you waking up "damn it Keisuke, I wanted to see the cats too!"

Chifuyu- uses manga for all his date ideas (ok this actually sounds kinda cute but be prepared for him to have the manga with him on the date and peak at it like an instruction manual throughout)

Mitsuya- works too hard

Hakkai- occasionally when he wakes up he forgets he's ok to talk to you and gets nervous all over again in his sleepy state

Pah- talks too loudly on the phone (he says it's because he's excited to talk to you but still shhhhh)

Peh- wants to invite Pah with you guys on all your dates

Smiley- threatens to kill you when you sneak up on him and kiss him (he's just a bit flustered and panicking)

Angry- takes your injuries too seriously, a tiny paper cut? Be prepared to have a bunch of plasters put on it (a kiss too)

Mucho- sir we cannot fix every argument with cheese cake

Sanzu- will follow you around to make sure you're safe at times

Kisaki- just assumes you're as good at maths as he is, will ask you random maths questions while you grocery shop to figure out prices and deals. You keep having to explain the need for a calculator to him.

Hanma- will try to irritate you just because he finds your angry reaction "cute and fun"

Kazutora- is a bit too clingy at times, be prepared to be late for work because of hugs.

Hina- will tidy up your stuff and make you lose it

Emma- insists on you having a special cute ringtone specifically for her and your phone can't be on silent.

Naoto- is very secretive about his police work,  will not tell you how his day has been.

Akkun- begs to do practice hair cuts on you, will chase you around with a pair of scissors begging you.

Takuya- tries to act too strong when he's sick, he doesn't want to seem weak to you so he takes on too much and ends up getting worse. 

Makoto- won't stop stealing your underwear 

Yamagishi- will tell you delinquent facts at the most random times, be prepared to hear about old fights while brushing your teeth.

Koko- panics over what to buy you for birthdays because he just spoils you all throughout the year, pouts close to your birthday.

Inui- can walk better in heels then you

Taiju- laughs too loud, if you're not expecting it then it can cause you to jump.

Yuzuha- Too many other people wanting her attention, easy to feel forgotten about sometimes.

Izana- talks to his fish about you but you never know what he's saying because he always stops when he sees you (he's actually just saying how in love he is but you don't know that)

Kakucho- is so nervous about you meeting izana and wanting the two of you to get along that he sweats the whole time during that first meeting (you and izana bond over teasing him about it)

Mochi- finds it easy to carry you so will sometimes just randomly pick you up if he feels you're walking too slow.

Ran- keeps low key insulting your hair when talking about his own (takes you to the salon often too)

Rindou- gets overly competitive with you at the gym, he may love you but he's not going easy on you (though I feel like a lot of you won't complain about the limb locking)

Shion- accidentally let slip he was planning to propose like a week early.

Senju- will randomly grab your hand and start quickly running if she wants to show you something (good luck with keeping up with her)

Takeomi- will steal the blankets as you're sleeping 

Wakasa- if he thinks you're talking too much or grinding your teeth or something then he'll just place his dango stick in your mouth.

Shinichiro- be prepared for cheesy pick up lines 24/7 (he wants you to say them back too)

Benkei- sometimes just throws his clothes at your head randomly (he actually wants you to wear them but instead of just asking you'll suddenly be plunged into darkness by a jacket landing on your head.

South- will sometimes randomly serenade you, even in public causing everyone to stare.

[marsinout]

Charles: Hey you guys, wanna get some d-e-s-s-e-r-t? Oscar: Yeah dude, I need a t-r-e-a-t. Lando: Whatcha guys talking about? :) Carlos: Yeah, why did you guys just spell dess- Charles: NONONO! SHHHHH! Oscar: SHUT UP! Don't say it! Carlos: ...uh...why? Oscar: Oh god how do we tell you this... Charles: Lando... can't spell... Carlos: ... Carlos: WHAT? Oscar: He can't spell, so when we talk about something he wants, we spell it outloud so he doesn't get too excited. Carlos: He's a grown man, he can't handle hearing the word “treat”? Lando: TREAT? Charles: NO TREAT! Lando: TREAT? Charles: NO TREAT! Lando: TREAT? Charles: NO TREAT! Lando: Awwww... 😔

[toastermoth]

Hello! I saw your requests are open! I’m actually a fem reader, but I don’t mind a gender neutral one! I’d like to know your headcanons on Solomon when he becomes romantically interested with the mc. Like if he’ll do anything for them or does he get jealous whenever mc spends so much time with the demon brothers. Anything that you think about, it’s up to you. 😊 It’s been a very long time that I haven’t played Obey Me and I just miss them. Thanks!

Hell yeah!! I got OM after almost a year of not playing so ik what you mean when you say you miss them! (I missed Satan </3) one batch of Solomon hcs coming right up! APOLOGIES FOR THIS BEING LONG I HAD FUN WRITING THING

SOLOMON X GN! READER HCS

This man, he's old. Old man. So obviously he knows a few things about love.

Usually it's other people swooning for him but when he met you this man was DOWN MFING BAD.

He started to come up to talk to you inbetween classes more and more often. In a way he seemed awkward?

Hm, maybe he's just trying to be kind? Until he started walking you home everyday which always made you happy because unlike the brothers, he wouldn't abandon you on your walks.

Casually helping you carry books to eventually racing you playfully, to holding your hand and making you run with him all the way to the house of Lamination.

You found yourself falling for the white haired wizard and went to Asmo for advice.

"Sweetie, just say your feelings! I'm more than sure his feelings are intertwined with yours! And if you're too scared work up to it! Spend more time with him and only him!"

Taking Asmo's advice over timeyou found yourself at the purgatory hall. Everyday it seemed like a routine, get up, go to school, go home with Solomon and do whatever two oblivious people who have a crush on each other do!

The lust demon however thought you two were still taking too long and decided to take matters into his own hands.

Next thing you knew, Asmodeus was suddenly all over you, asking to shop, asking to try on some new makeup with him and then soon all the brothers caught on and had their own requests.

"Y/n I require you assistance for this paperwork. Surely you won't disappoint me."

"YO! Y/N! I need ya to help me with some uh.. uh.. LISTEN I JUST NEED YOUR HELP ALRIGHT?!"

"Hey normie, get on Mononoke Land! There's a new event going on!"

"Y/n I need you for helping me find this human book, it's about this boy-"

"Y/n dear! I found this color changing nail polish and it's to DIE FOR! Cmon I need to test it on you!"

"Y/n I'm hungry.. can you make me something? We can share if you want too if I don't eat it all."

"Mnn.. y/n come nap with me... m cold and you're nice and warm.."

Once Solomon noticed you were canceling your plans with him, he started to get suspicious and a little insecure. (He'd never say that out loud however.)

Finally after some debating, he decided to personally take you home with him and find ways to keep you both busy.

The demons take notice (especially Lucifer after you didn't answer his texts after 5 minutes) and sneaked around (Simeon let them in) and noticed you and Solomon laughing together?

"HEY WHAT TH-" "SHHHHH Love is happening."

You hear the demon brothers' bickering but pay no attention as you resume your tickle fight with Solomon.

"You're the person I'd let tickle me and that's saying something, you're the only person I'd let do a lot of things." he said inbetween laughs.

You look at him so full of love as he grabs both your hands and starts tickling you!

"Let the lovebirds be, cmon out out!" Asmo yelled, you both stopped and started laughing at his antics.

God he was in love.

[ellaenchanting]

Hypnovember Day 11: Attitude Adjustment/IQ Reduced

It was like she couldn't get the words out fast enough. "And I have 6 discharges tomorrow with no follow up scheduled yet and I haven't even been able to contact some of the families and..."

"Is there anything you can do about any of that tonight?" he asked her, gently stopping the torrent of her work recap.

"No. But! I still need to eat dinner. And wash some clothes for tomorrow. And make sure the kids are ok...."

"Shh," he said comfortingly. "I've already washed and folded the clothes. And I told the kids mommy was working late so they're already asleep. You're done for the day."

She sighed deeply.

He put his hand on her cheek, gently moving her head so she was looking directly into his eyes. "Relaaaax," he said, stretching the word out meaningfully. His tone shifted too, to something deep and steady. "You're home. You're safe. Just relax, now."

It had been a while since she heard him speak like this. She missed it.

Too bad it wouldn't work. She was way too stressed. She almost felt herself get caught in his gaze for a moment but- then her anxiety rushed back in, like a wave crashing over a too-short wall.

His hand moved around to rub the back of her neck.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I'm just so stressed I can't THINK it's like I try and it's just STATIC in my head. I sat in the parking lot for 5 minutes before I could even make myself drive home."

"Mmmmm," he murmured, still rubbing her neck. "Breathe, honey."

He breathed in and out slowly to demonstrate. She found herself following along, taking a few deep breaths before even thinking about it. Between the breathing and his light neck massage, she was beginning to feel better.

He made sure he had her gaze before offering- "If you want, I could make things simpler for you for a bit. Would you like that?"

A shiver ran through her at the sound of her old trigger- "simpler". It had been some time since they had done this but they both understood what he was offering. Would it still work?

She nodded her head but didn't want to disappoint him or herself- not after so long.

"I want to? But I honestly don't know how I'll respond," she said, "I can barely concentrate right now."

But even as she was protesting, she found herself automatically following his hand as it floated just above her forehead. Another of their old signals, this one nonverbal: "Pay attention".

She did.

His fingers came closer and closer to her forehead before finally touching, rubbing a small spiral right in the middle.

"Shhhhh...." his voice soothed.

Something inside her shifted.

It wasn't a quick, profound drop like she had experienced in the past but- she found herself instinctively closing her eyes anyway. When she did, the noise in her head seemed to quiet down automatically.

"Good," he said. "That's perfect. You remember just how to do this, don't you? I know you do. It's like riding a bicycle - part of you never forgets."

"I know you talked about having static in your head- but maybe we can use that to help you let go a bit more. Static doesn't have to be harsh, you know. Maybe your static is like- a white noise generator, blocking anything unnecessary out. Quiet and soothing. Like the one you listen to when you go to sleep. Just- think of that gentle static playing while you sleep. Helping you rest. You can notice it- and then you can let it all fade into the background. It just makes everything quieter, doesn't it? Simpler. "

She nodded her head, easily caught in his instructions. The shudder that went through her at the trigger felt more profound this time.

Simpler.

She remembered the old imagery they had worked on- the wheels of the clockwork of her thoughts slowing. Slowing. Grinding to a halt.

As she pictured those slowing gears, she could feel her inner monologue growing distant and dreamlike. Her awareness moved from her lumbering thoughts to her body- almost like her mind itself had moved from her head to somewhere in her chest. Her senses began heightening and she was drawn more and more to what the room smelled like, how the carpet felt, the gentle sound of the ceiling fan. She found herself getting lost in a world of sensation.

"That's good, honey," he encouraged. "You don't need to think right now. I've got all your bigger thoughts for safekeeping. You remember how to be simpler for me, don't you? No big words, no big thoughts. Just how you feel in this moment. OK?"

She nodded. It was the easiest way to communicate now. She still had some words but- it was easier not to use them when she was simpler. She trusted him to understand what she needed without bothering to speak.

"Good. Can you open your eyes for me?"

She did.

"How does your body feel right now?" he asked.

She checked- mentally scanning herself from head to toe.

"Tired," she replied eventually. "Hungry."

She looked up at him.

"Do you want some food?"

It took her a few moments to contemplate the thought before she eventually replied with a simple: "Yes".

He smiled at her in a way that might have struck her as patronizing at a different time.

His smile caused an unexpected spike in another sensation- one that had been hiding underneath all of her stress all along.

Until now.

"I'm going to warm dinner up- we'll have it here," he was saying. "I'll be right back."

"Wait!" she cried, suddenly.

He stopped and turned back, curiously.

Now she needed to find words again.

Her brows crossed as she tuned into her body in that slow, deep way that came with this state. There was a heat between her legs that spread upwards as she noticed it more thoroughly. She began to notice the feeling of the air on her arms and the slight way her bra rubbed against her breasts when she breathed. "Horny?" she said, finally finding the right word for how she was feeling.

He laughed. "Good girl. Yeah- that old conditioning is still working for you, huh? I bet you feel horny right now. Does it feel good?"

She nodded, that response coming much more quickly than most.

It DID feel good.

Without really thinking about it, her hands moved to her right breast, squeezing it.

THAT felt even better.

"Mmmm- I guess that's my answer then, huh?" he asked. "Tell you what- you need to eat before we do anything else. So- I'm going to go get the food. But while I'm doing that? You can touch yourself as much as you want. Do whatever feels good to your body, ok?"

She nodded again, barely paying attention to his words. Her hands moved all over her flesh as she caressed her newly sensitive skin rapturously. She wanted to touch everywhere.

"My only rule is that you don't come, ok? I want to save that for later."

She nodded absently, focused on a wonderful spot she had found on the side of her stomach. Part of her brain was receiving his instructions but- she didn't have to think about that part. She just had to focus on touching.

He leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. "And stay nice and quiet while you touch, yeah? We don't want to wake anyone else up."

She nodded, biting back a moan as her hand finally slid to her pussy.

He looked on for a moment, seeming almost hypnotized himself by his writhing, almost animalistic wife.

Food first, he reminded himself.

Then sex.

Then putting a note in his phone to call the babysitter for her weekend availability. It had been FAR too long since they had played like this and next time?

He wanted her to be LOUD.

Tagging @mentat101posts @thekinkycocktailclub @jam-and-stuff

[h-harleybaby]

I really like South Park fractured but whole, so maybe you could do Team Stan + Butters reacting to their s/o wanting to be their hero sidekick?

Ughhhhh that’s such a good request. I was like, about to say that my requests are closed but lately I’ve been in a funk and really obsessed with tfbw so NVM I’M WRITING THIS! It might get me out of that funk I was talking about, I need to write anyways. Btw this is all like, aged up to highschool at the very least. You can't tell me they wouldn't still roleplay during highschool because I know damn well they would

You can kinda tell which ones I didn't put too much effort in sorryyyy I just didn't know what to write also also also ignore any mistakes

Cartman, The Raccoon

• Cartman literally gets so excited it's funny, but if you say anything about him being excited he flips you off and tells you that you can't be his sidekick (he's lying)

• He kinda thinks of everyone on the team as his sidekicks but you're like, his special sidekick and he'll never admit it

• He loves having you as his sidekick, NOW IT'S LIKE ALL OF YOUR MISSIONS ARE DATES!

• Cartman literally throws a fit anytime he has a mission you can't go on, he wants you there SO FUCKING BAD but he'll never tell you that

• He's weirdly protective of you but it's really nice (this totally isn't based off me talking to the Cartman character ai)

• You definitely bring snacks for you guys during patrol and I swear to god his pupils are hearts I'm not even kidding

• In my opinion, patrols and stakeouts with Cartman would be the best

• Out of all of them, he's the one you do the most with. Every other night there's some sort of crazy bullshit y'all deal with

• Most of the crazy bullshit being because Cartman caused it but shhhhh we don't talk about it

• Being his sidekick is a soild 7/10, he can get a lil selfish but he's really fun

Kyle, Human Kite

• Kyle's excited but more nervous than anything, he doesn't have anything to worry about tho!

• Y'all are a pretty good duo, even though you don't normally go on missions where y'all have to fight

• You guys work more with damage control, I mean kites are pretty fragile and mans is a human kite alien so like

• Not to say he's weak, he's far from it actually! He just has pretty low health and stuff ya know?

• HOWEVER! You're a pretty good healer so it just makes sense that y'all are always near each other on the battlefield, plus sidekick so yeah

• Not only do y'all usually do damage control but also a pretty good amount of recon

• Half of the time you guys end up getting caught and have to run away so you get to be on Kyle's back as y'all are gliding the hell out of there

• Its like, surprisingly fun to be gliding. The wind in your hair and the excitement is the best

• Anyways, because y'all don't see combat too often the patrols are really calm. Sometimes even a little boring but you don't mind, neither of you are getting hurt and that's all that matters

• 9/10, it's kinda boring sometimes but it's pretty nice to be with your bf. At least y'all don't get hurt and can goof off during patrol

Stan, Toolshed

• Stan's kinda indifferent about it, he's like "cool you're joining me... why?"

• Don't get me wrong, he thinks it's cool you wanna join him! He just doesn't get it too much, isn't it gonna be boring for you?

• Well, ya know what? Now he has someone to spend sleepless nights with when he's on patrol!

• Ngl he underestimated how much he would enjoy having you by his side, he's not lonely anymore AND SOMEHOW HE DIDN'T NOTICE HOW LONELY HE WAS TILL YOU JOINED HIM

• Ahhh, imagine if you had tool themed super powers too?? Y'all share some of his dads power tools and have to awkwardly try fixing them when they somehow break during battle

• You can't tell me Stan hasn't broken them before! He literally throws screwdrivers at people and shoves power tools into the ground, they have to break at some point

• Good thing you guys somewhat know how to fix things, y'all both probably would've been dead multiple times if you didn't know how to repair the shit y'all break

• Y'all have definitely had to clean blood off the tools at the end of patrols/nights. Literally almost every time, he really has to stop throwing screwdrivers at people

• Anyways, Stan thinks you're the best sidekick ever and he loves having you around. Having you as his sidekick is really fun overall, he wouldn't trade you for literally any other

• Being his sidekick is a good 8/10, it's not the best thing to clean blood off tools at 2 am but you don't mind too much

Kenny, Mysterion

• Part of Kenny is over the moon! The other part, not so much

• He doesn't want you to get hurt while you're his sidekick so he's probably a lot more careful on his missions than he usually is

• There's definitely a lot of flirting between y'all tho, he gets SO cocky when he's Mysterion. Its one of his favorite things to get you flustered and flirt with you like, mid battle

• He doesn't die as much as he used to now that you're there so that's nice! He can't bare having you see him die tbh

• Y'all often patrol more dangerous parts of town so you guys see combat REALLY often

• I mean it's not Kenny's fault that homeless methheads and rednecks keep trying to kill you guys. It's whatever, he's good at fighting and so are you!

• You are by no means delicate, no matter how much he tries to protect you from all the battle you still end up seeing it anyways

• He kinda thinks it's hot that you're so good at fighting, he's literally like "damn bbg, you can beat my ass any day"

• Kenny never gets used to you flirting back with him, he practically short circuits. You think it's cute how he can flirt so easily but get so flustered when it's reciprocated

• In my opinion, being his sidekick is 8.5/10 because of all the fighting and flirting

Butters, Professor Chaos

• Omg Butters is ecstatic! He didn't know how you knew he was Professor Chaos but he doesn't dwell on it too much

• Now you guys can bring all the chaos your little heart desires to South Park and he's so happy about it

• First South Park, then WORLD DOMINATION!

• You're not exactly one of his henchmen and he doesn't have the heart to call you his sidekick, you're something higher than henchman?

• Does it really matter? He's gonna bring chaos to the world with you by his side and that's all that really matters in his opinion

• Every time Cartman and his hero team beat him up after foiling his plans you always end up having to patch him up which is kinda annoying but it's fun to scheme with Butters during that time

• You definitely end up being the one who reminds him of his common sense, you're kinda like his rock in a way?

• He's so glad to have you by his side, plus now that you're here his plans actually succeed sometimes!

• The younger henchman all ship you guys considering most of them don't know y'all are actually dating, it's pretty endearing

• Solid 8/10, you rarely get hurt and it's kinda painful to see Butters hurt but y'all have a good time in general

No hear me out, like I wanna pick them all up and hug them like teddy bears. They're all so cute as kids even tho Cartman would probably and most likely has committed war crimes they're my lil cutie patooties. They're literally all really close to my height but I don't care I wanna hug them like teddy bears

If anyone has any recs for places to buy like, nice plushies of them I would appreciate it <3333