#but still the only thing i'm invested in is ben

[linusbenjamin]

3.16 // 5.09

[leviscolwill]

— dad!jude bellingham headcanons !

pairing: dad!jude bellingham x fem!reader

req: could you write dad!judebellingham ml <3

note: i tried writing headcanons because i feel like my writing is very 👎👎🍅🍅🍅 at the moment, i hope you'll like it still !! reblogs are VERY appreciated since the tags are in a silly goofy mood right now #useless 😝🤪

tag list: @ceofmercedes &lt;3

it's well established on judeblr that he is a girl dad, so girl dad it is

i think he would spiral a bit over the fact that you're growing a whole human being in you

he would say random shit like “no but do you feel her legs grow ?”

and you're like 😐😐😐 of course not

but the poor boy is just clueless 😪

he would always remind you of how you're the most beautiful woman on earth, even when you're crying your eyes out because ron fell off his chess piece in the philosopher's stone

now,, i think we're all well aware he would spoil your daughter rotten

getting her new clothes or new toys whenever he passes in front of a store because “she might need it one day”

but !! he would never let her turn into a “daddy i want a squirrel” kinda girl

you would both make sure she's very well mannered because he is very aware his parents' education played a big part in who he is today

i feel like being strict wouldn't be a problem for him either

yk being the eldest in his family, he wouldn't be swayed by your girl's pleading eyes when she acts wrong

he would 100% cry on her first day of pre-school (it's the cancer in him)

and he would try to drop her / pick her up from school as much as he possibly can with training and stuff

if you speak another language, you'd learn it to your daughter and use it to talk shit about jude 🤭

“have you seen what he wore today ?” “yeah daddy's shirt is very ugly”

in my case she would say quoicoubeh to him

i feel like he'd get so frustrated and start sulking amd pouting before your daughter reassures him

okayy bc it's spooky szn rn 😋

family matching costumes !! (call it corny 😡 i do not care)

monsters, disney characters or the adams family... he'd have soooo many ideas

he'd go trick or treating just to eat all the sweets

playfights with your daughter for their girl's attention

“it's my mommy !”

“oh yeah ? but mommy liked me before, so i'm the number one in her heart”

“it's not true ! mommy tell him he's a liar”

you can only roll your eyes because he really has beef with a whole child ???

but he's just a kid himself !!

everytime she gets to see uncle jobe she's overly happy

and jude would smack the back of his head when he says a bad word

(like he's not the one to curse at home yk 🙄)

is it a bad thing i think he would secretly hope your daughter has a bad dream so she'd have a good excuse to sleep in between you both ?

because he would

just to cuddle with her

then he regrets it when she wakes him up early in the morning

when she grows up he would be soooo invested in her school's dramas

like, actually asking for updates during dinner like he's dan from gossip girl

“what do you mean ben is dating his ex's best friend ?? he's such a di... bad person”

he'd be so gassed whenever she would wear his shirt (especially at school)

like you got all these clothes but chose this particular england shirt ? 🥹🥹

(as if half her wardrobe isn't his jerseys from every club he's been at)

(+ jerseys he exchanged with other players and signed jerseys by football legends)

he would sooo show her off to his teammates

“yeah my girl knows how to read now” 😎

and show every picture of her EVER

even the embarrassing ones

100% would introduce his friends as uncles

“say hi to uncle gio” (🫠)

now hear me out bc i think it's my favourite idea

he would totally look up hairstyles tutorials for your babygirl and try them out

once he gets the hang of it, he would never stop finding new ones

and since he doesn't have a sister, he would go to his mum for advice

on hair, but also girl stuff so he can pretend he already knows it all in front of you

you'd also go to his mum to advice tho, because being a parent (especially a mum) is never easy

and she would gladly share all of them with you

when you get into fights with jude your girl would always try to make it better

“dad says he's sorry”, “mum said she's not mad anymore”

of course you both know she's lying but somehow it always works ???

so your relationship is the prime example of what she's looking for when she grows up

and she secretly hopes she gets to love her s/o just like her parents love each other (too corny now ?)

anyways jude would treat you both like his little princesses, and he's so so so grateful he gets to live a lifetime with you two

or maybe more than two who knows 🚶‍♀️

[itsss4t4n]

How long is Forever? - Harry Hook x daughter of alice in wonderland

Headcanons but the longer version of this post:

a/n: this is based more on tim burtons aiw adaptation as it is the only one that i know, and i might have misremembered some of the story/ characters so i apologize if its inaccurate to wonderland or its characters in any way. I got way to invested in creating the character and story and almost forgot that that wasnt the point. At some point i think the character just completely changes and i low key hate it. Im really bad at writing headcannons instead of full fledged fics.

Trigger warnings: fighting, she /her pronouns used, slight angst toward the end but happy ending, not proofread

-being alices daughter you are considered kind of weird by the aks, (think luna lovegood), you are kind of dreamy and constantly in your own thoughts but you still have a very strong own opinion on everything. You say what you think even if others might not like that. 

-You also have a very different sense of style than most girls in auradon. You played alot with different colours and textures always looking slightly crazy (you took inspiration from your godfather, the mad hatter). Your blonde hair was cut to a short messy bob with short bangs, and always changing coloured streaks throughout.

-you dont have the same view of good and bad as most others , and you dont think the vks should be judged by what their parents did and immediately try to befriend them and continuesly defend them

-when mal runs away to the isle you insist on joining the other vks and ben, as you do well in new and different invironments and later because you are an incredible sword fighter, your mother having thought you all she knows, just in case you ever needed to fight a jabberwookie type beast yourself.

-Due to your personal style not being very auradon, you didnt really have to disguise as much as ben when going to the isle. 

-On the isle you felt surprisingly comfortable, as you liked the weird and almost liminal athmosphere that it had 

-the first time you met harry was right after bens kidnapping, when harry came to tell you all about it.

-Harry has this theatrical almost a little eccentric way of talking and moving, which intruiged you pretty quickly. Of course , You didnt like or trust him, he did just kidnap one of your best friends, but you were intruiged non the less.

"And who is this little lassy?"

You told him your name with a glint of interest and mischif in your eyes. "Daughter of Alice in Wonderland."

"How interesting."

"I was just thinking the same thing. Whats your Name?"

"Harry Hook." He introduced himself with adramatic bow, before making fun of jay and barking at carlos.

- The other three had watched the interaction in confusion and wonder. They knew you were a little odd but seeming this confortable with harry after knowing what he did to ben?

"What was that?!" 

"What?" 

"Dont be nice to hook! He just kidnapped your best friend!"

"yea.. But he is quite interesting." And as an afterthougt: "and kind of pretty dont you think?"

"NO! Concentrate please. He is the enemie alright?!"

"Yea whatever, lets go tell mal about this shit."

-You go with Mal and evie to see dizzy, and instantly get along.

-Later while Mal and Uma are talking (singing), you cant help your eyes from glancing over at harry every few seconds. He did look good, with his red coat, the old silver jook on his left hand, and the messy black eyeshadow around his striking blue eyes.

"He is really beutiful dont you think?" That question was mostly directed towards evie who just shot you a dissapproving look. "I'm just saying. purely aesthetically."

-You simply shrugged and watched the situation continue to unfold, swordhand on the hilt of your sword at your side. When the fight breaks out you stand against harry. For better of for forse.

"Hello Pretty boy." You raise you swordand get into a defensive position.

"Wonderland girl."

-You kept making little comments about his looks and his sword fighting which he of course returned in his own flirty way. You quite enjoyed going back and forth like that. Witty comments, smirks and flirty smiles, and fighting more for show at this point instead of actually trying to beat each other. Trying to make this surprisingly pleasant moment last as long as possible.

-until you heard an urgend shout of your name from Mal.

"Sorry in advance." In a quick movement you snatched harrys hook and threw it down into the water. Before a shoked Harry can jump after it you catch his arm and talk to him in a slightly hushed voice.

"I really hope this wasnt our last meeting pretty boy." Before running off with the others.

-You dont see each other again until Audrey turns evil, but you do still think about harry. Is it stupid considering you met like twice and he was you enemy? Yea. Did you care? not really. He was georgeous, funny, good with a sword. Your dream guy. Except for the fact that he was supposedly your enemy. but then again when had you ever cared about that kinda stuff.

-His black lined blue piercing eyes were burned into your brain.

-In the six months until you saw him again you had become mal and bens unofficial bodyguard, spening most of your time with them or with evie, your sword has taken permanent residence at your side, only taking it of to sleep or shower and even then it was always in grabbing distance. Mals paranoia about uma had actually started to get to you.

-You are at evies house when audrey shows up and spells mal. You join them in going back to the isle to retrieve hades ember.

-When your bikes get stolen you cant help but smile at the sight. Yea its shitty but he is still beautiful.

"Pretty boy!"

He drawls you name in his scottish accent and you mentally swoon.

"Thats my bike!"

"Oh yea? Come and get it back then." Before driving of.

-You run after them (except mal and celia ofc),and at one point you split upbecause the boys on the bikes did so. You follow harry and when the others are out of sight he slows to a stop. You catch up to him with a grin.

"Nice to see you again Hook. I was hoping we would meet again."

"I was too Lassie."

-The next 10-ish minutes are filled with flirty banter and tales of what happened in the last six months. It felt like you've known each other for years (as clichee as that sounds). 

-You almost forgot why you were there until you heard jay shouting your name.

"Where are you, Mal got the thing come on."

You quickly turn to Harry again.

"Go! Before they see you and make it a whole thing."

"What bout your bike?"

"Keep it pretty boy, i doubt the others got theirs back so it would be weird if i did."

With a last sly grin harry leans towards you "I will see you again very soon." 

Before you could question what 'very soon' meant, he had already driven of. 

Just in time because Jay and the others turned the corner behind you.

"There you are! What are you doing? come on!"

"Sorry. Was chasing after the bike." You Give them a small smile before walking past them. "You coming?"

-To say you were surprised when harry and gil jumped through the barries after them would be an understatement.

"Pretty boy?!"

"'ello Darling. we're just coming for a wee visit" 

-You tried , just like evie, to get the two groups to work together. Harry mostly walked next to you or Uma. At some point you hung back so he culd walk in between you and doesnt have to kep switching. He caught up with uma but still kept the constant flirts towards you up.

-Everyone was really confused on why you two seemed so good and almost comfortable around each other, not to mention the flirting. Evie was the only one who knew of your little crush so she send you a few knowing smirks.

-During the knight fight you and harry fought as a team. Incedibly well might i say. 

-You were somewhat enthusiastic about evies icebreaker idea, enjoying the idea that the two groups could finally work together.

"Harry great accent."

"Shes right. It is a good accent."

-The flirting just wouldnt stop, comments thrown at each other, bumping shoulders while walking, even brushing your hands against each others on occasion. You had joined the boys in looking for ben.

"To make sure jay and harry dont kill each other."

-Gil doing the icebreaker and bonding with jay. 

meanwhile you and harry in the background:

"We should do that icebreaker pretty boy."

"oh yea?"

"Yea. You've got really pretty eyes."

"And you are really good with a sword lass." His hook just slightly gracing your cheek before something in gil and jays conversation sparks his interest.

-When finding ben you had immediately pushed harry behind you and unsheathed your sword out of instinct. Jay has to pull both of you out of bens way because both of you got distrcated by how close you were standing to each other. After making sure ben was alright you made sure harry was too.

(instead of flirting with jane he flirts with you)

"Well well well, thank you for trying to protect me there darling." The hook was under you chin this time.

"No problem pretty boy." You smirk back.

Ben had his little freak out. Jay and carlos had one too for slightly different reasons.

"when did this happen? you and hook?"

You just shrugged and started walking off.

The boys just looked at eachother thouroghly confused.

-After everyone reuniting and you secretely updating evie on the harry situation you all made your way to fairy cottage. When you found chad you had to half hide in harrys shoulder to hide your laughter because god was it good to see chad taken down a few pecks like that.

-Then Mal dropped the bomb. Closing the barrier forever. You couldnt believe it. You were always a firm believer in the vk programm. And you had honestly hoped that even if harry etc were send back, they would get out someday, or you might go visit them. You considered them freinds at that point. But now that wasnt possible.  You tried to comfort harry and uma in some way but it was to no avail.

"Im so sorry you guys... I didnt know." You had tears in your eyes yourself.

"Dont worry about it Darling. Its nae your fault." Placing his hand, his actual hand, on your cheek for a second, to wipe away the tear that had fallen. Before he walked of with uma.

"Harry....."

Mal was shocked to see your tears at the fact that harry was leaving. she had absolutely no idea this was a thing. It wasnt really. you didnt have enough time for it to actually become a thing. You watched harry and uma leave before evie walked up to you to hug you. 

She talked to mal but you didnt want to listen.

suddenly there was a bright light before it went dark for a bit. When you came to again, Mal was gone. It didnt take you guys long to piece together what must have happened. so you went to find mal.

-You and harry were both incredibly relieved to see that the other was okay. *cue big hug and an almost kiss that turned into a kind of awkward cheek kiss before another hug * 

-Harry announcing that he is actually going back to the isle felt like another punch in the gut. Again that sounds dumb considereing how little you actually knew each other but you didnt care. 

-Harry and you talked before he left. He gave you one of his rings "so you wont forget me darling". So you give him one of yours "then dont you forget me either". *cue more crying and hugs, between all of you *

-Mal announcing that the barrier will be taken down during the engagement party was the best thing that couldve happened to you at that point.

"Looks like you get a chance with your pretty boy after all." Evie.

Uma to harry on the isle: "Now you can get your pretty girl, pretty boy." While bumbing his shoulder.

As soon as you could spot eachother on the bridge you ran into each others arms.

-Kith

-like a lot of em

-Your friends from both sides were incredibly happy for both of you.

[dragonagecompanions]

So I’ve seeing the ASOIAF author!Inquisitor AU has resurfaced. I have a curiosity: how does the DAI companion (perhaps also advisors) feel about the character Brienne of Tarth?

Cassandra: Sir Brienne of Tarth is without question or equivocation the greatest and most honorable character in any piece of literature. She is brave and unwavering in her loyalties, strong of oath and arm. Jamie Lannister does not deserve anything from her, but instead should be honored for whatever attention she chooses to bestow on him. Lady Stark could not have chosen a better champion for her daughters.

Years later, when the last book is finally written, Cassandra will receive the first copy. The handwritten note inside is simple and plain, but the Seeker will weep over it regardless and put it in a place of honor.

'I based her on you, Cass. I'm glad she meets your approval.'

Solas: A stoic and staid knight of little imagination who proves set in the thinking that might is right. Solas has no real opinion on the would be knight, for his attentions are on greater characters. But as Cassandra is one of the few companions willing to debate the merits of abandoning the North with real understanding he is willing to pretend greater regard than he might feel.

Varric: All he sees is Aveline, and while Kirkwall's resident author will never mention it to his friend it makes him smile. Somewhere far away Guard Captain Vallen is keeping his city safe with the same loyal tenacity-- he hopes Donnic sees the same parallels and points them out.

She still hasn't forgiven him for Swords and Shields.

Blackwall: She is fair and honorable, strong of arm and conviction. Everything a true lady knight should be. If she were real he would bet on her in the tourney. As it is her character is a welcome respite from those foul nobles in Kings Landing.

Vivienne: Madame de Fer can appreciate loyalty to one's charges and liege lord, even if Brienne's court manners would fail her utterly in the game. But she is a good role model for young templars in the circles Vivienne wants to rebuild, and so popular a series will help set the example.

Sera: Woof.

Dorian: Even if he is not romantically involved with the inquisitor (which he is, though it hardly grants him spoilers), it would not be hard to see that their resident Seeker is the basis for Brienne of Tarth. The necromancer fancies that his comment on Cassandra needing a blue scarf surely inspired the sapphire waters of Tarth, and is content with his addition to the Seven Kingdoms.

Now if only he can convince everyone else that Dorn is also a strategic name....

Iron Bull: She would be a hell of a sparring partner. The Qun badgers him enough about the books that even if he was not invested the Ben-Hassrath agent would have read them all. But he admires Brienne's singular focus, her loyalty and tenacity. Could use a bit more creative thinking, a little more ease with bending the rules. But she'd fit in well with the Qun.

She is added unanimously to the list of characters welcome in the Chargers. Krem will never admit his crush.

Cole: The characters are hard for him, when so many see them in so many ways. The books help--that is enough.

Josephine: She adores every character, except the Lannister's of course, and every winding path they take. Brienne would be about as difficult as Cassandra to train for social events, but just as useful. She does hope Jamie follows his heart and they wed though. That would be so wonderful!

Lelianna: She is watching greater characters, the horrors above the wall and below it, but something about the oath Brienne swears to Sansa reminds her of...

Of another, sworn long ago in far different circumstances with far greater sacrifices. It is a laughable thing, to sit in Skyhold a decade later and wonder how Shale would handle being compared to a fake human!

Cullen: He's just a little bit in love. It doesn't help that in some ways he sees himself in Jamie Lannister's redemption arc.

[thenationaltreasuregazette]

Really?? Nicolas Cage and the Art of Weirdness

It’s kind of strange that Nicolas Cage is the star of National Treasure, right? Tame, family-friendly Disney flicks aren’t exactly his brand.

While the casting still strikes me as an odd choice sometimes, I am eternally, supremely, primordially grateful that he took the role of Ben Gates.

As I touched on while discussing Abigail’s Accent, National Treasure isn’t a film with a lot of subtly or nuance. At least, it wasn’t going to be until it slowly morphed throughout production, as giant collaborative projects tend to do.

Just like Diane Kruger brought nuance and depth to the role of Abigail Chase through both her acting choices and the presence of her accent, Nicolas Cage transformed Ben Gates from a generic action-adventure hero into something far superior: an awkward, obsessive forty year old man.

To fully appreciate the Nic Cage of it all, let’s begin with what the role looked like before he signed on.

More ↓

For those unfamiliar, there’s a version of the National Treasure script available online that’s dated from the month before Cage signed on as the lead. It’s hugely fascinating in the ways it’s the same as, and also wildly different from, the finished film. You can read more about it here.

Age

The first major effect casting had was changing Ben’s age. In the 2003 script he’s introduced as

…intrepid explorer BEN GATES(late 20s, strong family resemblance)

Obviously Nic Cage was not in his late 20s in 2004. Born in 1964, he was 39/40 when the film shot and 40 by the time it came out.

We know from Ben Gates’ drivers license that his character is supposed to be 39 in the first film, as his birthday is shown as May 1965. Why the one year difference? Hollywood is allergic to people over 40. Next question.

So, Ben went from a 20-something to a (basically) 40 year old man. And that changed the story in a few subtle but important ways.

First, it makes Ben’s quest take on a different flavor. To be in your late 20s and still chasing a pipe dream is not that unusual or socially unacceptable. People in their 20s do stupid, impulsive, risky things. They are socially ‘allowed’ to be a mess. At 40, not so much. Ben’s peers have houses and families and kids who need to be taken to soccer practice.

This makes a difference to me because it emphasizes the desperation of Ben’s quest, and his absolutely unwavering belief in the treasure. It also paints a starker contrast between Ben and his father, because when Patrick was 29 he was still gallivanting around treasure hunting too. By the time Patrick was the age Ben is now, he had disavowed treasure hunting and “grown up” into a normal life. But Ben just won’t let go. The older Ben gets, the less hope Patrick has that he will eventually grow out of it. At 29 that kind of hope would still feel possible for his son. At 39, it probably doesn’t.

Hotness

I’m so sorry that we have to talk about this, but we do.

Ben Gates was clearly written to be played by a hot young actor. That’s hot as in popular, and also as in sexy.* A typically implausibly fit and handsome leading man. This is evidenced not only by his age, but by the two (2) shirtless scenes written for Ben in the 2003 script.

Ben Gates is supposed to be hot.

And Nicolas Cage is...I'm not going to say "not hot," lord knows I'm on the being-normal-about-that-old-man webbed site but sex appeal not the primary reason you cast him.

What Nic Cage is know for is being weird.

*I’m aroace and vaguely sapphic, help me I don’t know what I’m doing here.

Weirdness

Weird. Eccentric. Zany. Over-the-top. Melodramatic.

These are the qualities Nicolas Cage is famous for, but they aren’t qualities the role of Ben Gates necessarily calls for. In fact, too far in any of these directions, and the performance could push an already implausible movie over the edge into farce. We wouldn’t take Ben or his quest seriously enough to get invested in the story.

But Nicolas Cage knew that. For as absurd as the iconic “I’m gonna steal the Declaration of Independence” line is, it's the premise that's ridiculous, not the performance. This isn’t the place to find one of Cage's signature zany performances. Search any number of "Craziest Nicolas Cage performances" lists and National Treasure won't rank. He tones it down enough that Ben feels like a rather grounded person in an over-the-top story.

However, he doesn’t tone it down completely, and that is so important.

The little places where Cage lets a hint of his signature weirdness flicker through round out Ben as a character, and give him more (or at least a different flavor of) nuance than he might have had in other hands, particularly if he were cast and played as a typically suave and macho leading man.

Case Study (Cage Study?)

Let’s look at this line from the 2003 script. This is what the FBI has to say when they’re searching Ben’s apartment.

AGENT JOHNSON Profilers say we're looking at an adult male, a loner, has a high IQ but has never been able to hold down a job, is socially inept, has probably written numerous letters to the White House expressing antigovernment sentiments. We're expecting him to contact us shortly with ransom demands.

This line is supposed to show us how off the mark the FBI is in their theory. The joke is that they’re all wrong about Ben.

Except, are they?

In this version of the script, every one of these items after “adult male” is incorrect.

Ben’s not a loner; he’s been working with Riley for 7 years.

He hasn’t not been able to hold down a job, he’s been salvage diving and treasure hunting consistently.

He’s not socially inept; he’s a ladies man. We hear multiple references to past girlfriends, and of course there’s Patrick’s assumption that Abigail's pregnant.

And obviously he hasn’t expressed anti-government sentiment and has no plans to ransom the Declaration, even in exchange for his own freedom.

What I want to argue here is that with the casting of Nicolas Cage, most of these false assumptions about Ben became true, at least a little bit. Of course there were many forces at work shaping the final tone and content of the film, but all of them—writing, directing, acting, costume design, etc—became oriented around fitting this character to the man playing him.

Loner

In the final film, Ben is a bit of a loner. He doesn’t seem to have known Riley for that long, and he immediately gets betrayed by the only other person he’s close to. His status as an outsider is emphasized by the fact that he and his family have been ostracized from the historical community.

In the 2003 script, this element isn’t present and Ben gives a fake name for other reasons. We also meet his landlady, whom he’s very kind to, and hear about at least one former girlfriend. In short, we get a sense of the web of people in Ben’s life outside of the treasure hunt. In the final film, Ben is seemingly much more isolated.

Job

We also get no evidence about Ben’s job. The 2003 script makes multiple references to Ben working as a salvage diver, which might not be what he hopes for, but it is a clear profession. In the final movie we only get reference to Ben being trained at the Naval Diving and Salvage Training Center, which implies that he’s qualified to work at a salvage diver, but gives no indication that this is what he regularly does for work.

We also have Patrick saying:

PATRICK I have a job, a house, health insurance. What do you have?

The contrast makes it clear that Ben doesn’t have any kind of consistent job. Now, my guess is he does still work salvage jobs in this version, and that’s how he affords his apartment and the other things he needs to keep treasure hunting, but it’s never directly mentioned.

As to why he doesn’t hold down a job, the obvious answer is that it would interfere with his relentless pursuit of the Charlotte and the Templar Treasure. It makes sense that he simply chooses not to keep a consistent job because that’s not compatible with his goals. However, I want to raise the possibility that Ben would struggle to hold down a job even if he tried. If, say, he needed some expensive new diving equipment and took a several months long “normal” job in order to afford it, I think he’d be constantly distracted by the treasure and might quit and/or get fired the next time he needed to dash off on a lead.

Socially inept

Likewise, in the final movie, Ben is charming and clever and all the things a leading man is supposed to be, and also awkward and fairly socially clueless.

On the Charlotte he seems surprised that Ian and his guys turn out to be armed criminals, so either he was so desperate for resources and support to continue the hunt that he’s in denial or he’s very bad at reading people. Or at least, very bad at reading Ian. Maybe both. (There’s also the matter of his very poor attempt at bluffing in this scene.)

He’s awkward with Abigail in their meeting in her office, and even more awkward giving the toast. She even points out to him that he says the poetic things that are on his mind even though most people know they're not supposed to do that.

Then of course we have the “cavalier in my personal life” exchange, which I plan to dig into in depth at a later time, but for now let’s leave it at: Ben is not always on the same page as the people he’s in relationships with.

And there’s the very strange reading of the line “really?” after Ben and Abigail survive the collapsing staircase sequence. He’s amazed that he’s met someone who would also prioritize a historical artifact over personal safety, and he delivers the line just…weirdly.

Conclusion

He’s weird! (affectionate)

Ben Gates is a weird guy!

By the final film, Ben Gates had become a hybrid of the thing he was always supposed to be—a suave, swashbuckling hero—and the thing he was not supposed to be—a weirdo outcast on the fringes of society.

To draw a comparison to another popular Disney adventure flick that came out the year before: Ben was supposed to be the Will Turner of National Treasure, the hunky young underdog who always gets the girl. By casting Nicolas Cage and letting him bring a little history and a little weirdness to the role, Ben Gates ended up edging just a liiiiiiittle bit into Jack Sparrow territory as well.

He occupies both spaces, and I think that duality serves to deepen his character and make him far more interesting than if he was a straight-forward action-adventure hero.

Hooray for weird middle-aged men.

[antisociallilbrat]

It's Mike time baby, he needs some love

-Mike and Bill take scenic drives all the time. In the book Mike's dad would send him to different places around Derry to find or see cool or interesting things and because of that Mike found a lot of great views and he and Bill would take his truck to those spots and just read or talk or cuddle together. Mike is a very astute observer of his friends and so whenever he notices that something's bothering Bill, he whisks him away to these beautiful spots he finds.

-Bev loves to take Mike on days out. She calls them "Adventures". She loves finding new restaurants or coffee shops they've never been to or seeing indie movies she's never heard of at local theaters. Even in a clown-less universe, Mike still spent a lot of his formative years working on the farm instead of having fun so she's trying to make up for that now for him.

-Mike and Eddie take random classes all the time. They love picking up new skills. It started when Eddie got everyone CPR certified and they saw an ad for a cooking class on the way out and they're the only ones interested. Then follows knitting and gardening and dance and so on.

-Mike and Richie both took a gap year before heading to college. They didn't feel ready and so instead they went on a cross-country road trip together. Mike had seen so little in his life and he was so excited. Richie took enough polaroids to fill two albums and was in charge of the music. Mike picked all the stops and was adamant they see every dumb local attraction they could.

-Stan gets Mike incredibly invested in birdwatching as a hobby. At first Stan thought he kept offering to go with him because he's kind, but Mike eventually started getting his own gear and his own bird book, he packed them lunches, and then he found them a local group of birdwatchers for them to join. They stand out a bit as 20-somethings in a group made up of seniors, but that doesn't bother them. Stan still insists they go with just each other about half of the time though.

-One year for Mike's birthday, Ben built him a chicken coop in their backyard. He knew that Mike was happy to be in the city with his friends, but that he was definitely a bit homesick for the farm. Ben helped him hatch some chicks and raise them. They both cried tears of joy when their first chick hatched. Each of the Losers got to name one. The Loser's cook only with Mike's eggs from that day forward.

Rose everytime you grace my inbox it's absolute blessing- and to bring some love for Mike while you're at it <33 aaaaa okay okay

-Mike is so the guy to take long rides to clear his head and I'm happy to think about him including Bill on them. Sometimes they talk, sometimes they listen to music, and other times they just drive in silence with the windows rolled down and breathing in all that open space

-I read this point and the first thing that popped into my head was that 'treat yourself' meme and yes these two do that. They treat themselves to new restaurants and experiences but i can also see them being thrift shop buddies? They've definitely done the bit where you go to like goodwill and pick out silly outfits for the person you're with. They have a good time with it

-Eddie and Mike taking random classes is top tier. Yes they both know how to make pottery, knit, scrapbook and they've taken at least one intro class of a foreign language. It's just fun and sometimes they'll flip a coin to see what's the next class they're going ot.

-Speaking of scrapbooking that came in real handy with this one. Mike and Richie taking a cross country road trip aaaa. I can see Mike sitting in the passenger seat with a map and circling every little tourist trap he wants to go to and him and Richie both being genuinely excited over the littlest things, it's such a sweet image <3

-Stan and Mike birdwatching :( Mike loves animals so of course he'd actually get excited about this and the boy already loves to learn so he eat ups every fact Stan gives him about birds. And honestly these are the two losers that would hang out with a group of seniors- it's very on brand for them. Stan already dresses like an old man and all the old ladies love Mike bc he's so charming. Stan may or may not be jealous.

-Something about how Mike and Ben are already kinda seen as the 'mother hens' of the losers and then them raising actual chickens...and yes Mike has all the kisses for Ben when he sees that chicken coop and the chicks they hatch might as well be their actual children let's be honest

[nellie-elizabeth]

Grey's Anatomy: I Carry Your Heart (20x09)

Nick is so annoyingggg. This episode was full of multiple little irritants, to be honest.

Cons:

Like, look, I understand that Meredith is being a bad girlfriend to him, I do understand that. But Nick is still the most boring man ever invented for TV so it's hard for me to be invested in Meredith's love life with him. So when she's being dismissive and not prioritizing him, I'm like... so? Good for you. Leave his ass, Meredith, he's so generic I couldn't pick him out of a line-up. So I'm not invested on whether Nick decides to stick it out or not. I don't even know if I buy that Meredith would care that much if he suddenly vanished in a puff of smoke.

Link and Jo also suck in this episode! Their petty little fight over a patient just re-emphasized how uninteresting I find their romance. When they're happy, they're bland and forced. When they're snipping at each other, I just wish Alex Karev would barge into the room and take Jo back to run off with him so they can be happy. I've loved Jo for so long as a character but to be honest, with the news of Schmitt and Yasuda leaving next season, I'd swap Jo and Link for them in a heartbeat.

I was glad to see Maggie but she felt a little wasted in this episode? She and Winston have the awkward tension of near-divorce while still obviously caring about each other, and honestly it just bums me out again that they didn't make it work. They should have become another Bailey and Ben, where Winston is a character on the show and Maggie is just... off-camera, still his wife, still being a bad-ass surgeon somewhere. But they wanted to keep Winston in the pool for romance plot lines, so instead we've got this bummer divorce after some honest character assassination of Maggie to get there. I don't know. Seeing her should have been fun, but mostly I'm just bummed.

And Winston and Maggie's scenes together made me feel that spark, that connection, much more so than Winston and... Monica?? How dare. I wish Winston had just made a stupid decision and kissed Maggie when she'd tried to start something. But instead we get this frankly out of left field development with Monica. I get it, they're both just divorced and they're making a stupid rash decision. But this is just gonna make Amelia sad, and I don't like when Amelia is sad! Come on, Grey's.

Yasuda and Helm breaking up makes sense I guess, but I'm just sad that we didn't actually get to spend more time with these characters. This show has never known what to do with Helm, and now Mika is leaving next season, and it's just a bummer all around.

Adams is brooding personified. He finds out he might need to repeat his intern year, and he mopes about it. He's weird about Simone, who has no idea why. He gets offered a job, and now next week we're going to have to hear him agonize about that decision. He'll probably ultimately choose to stay, right? I'm bored. He should leave with Maggie, maybe that means Yasuda and Levi could stay instead.

Pros:

I was right that Owen and Teddy having drama about the secret funding would be annoying, but it was actually not that annoying, and Teddy getting fired is drama I like better for them as a couple, honestly? Their careers have been so messy and they've been through so many ups and downs, I could see being okay with a plot line where Teddy has to figure out what's next for her personally, with Owen's support. I've got my fingers crossed that this won't be too much of an irritant next season.

Kwan and Jules are great, I actually feel more and more invested in them, they're pretty much the only relationship on this show I feel fully excited about. Confirmation that Jules is queer was much appreciated, also. I think seeing them two of them talk and flirt kind of antagonistically and then hook up, do the pillow talk thing, it's all emphasizing why the Simone/Adams romance doesn't work. All we get with those two is the fraught angst of their complicated relationship. with Jules and Kwan, we see the back and forth, the hook-ups and then cutting themselves off before they can really be vulnerable, we get all that drama, but we also see them just... talk to each other? Enjoy each other's company, listen to each other talk? They have an actual foundation I believe in, so the fraught uncertainty of how they'll end up actually carries weight. I'm invested in seeing them together, because I know what that might look like, and it looks happy and fun and good.

Amelia and Meredith's Alzheimer's breakthrough is super interesting! I love how Amelia brought Derek into it, talking about how his contributions will be erased by their progress. Meredith feels that too, but she's also thinking of her mom. I love this connection for them, I love the Derek mentions. I want Meredith's recurring character moments on the show to be about this, not about Nick! My vendetta against Catherine Fox is still going strong, so I do wonder what I'll think of how that story develops as we move forward...

I got super emotional about the patient stories in this episode, the heart transplant stuff! You've got the couple who just moved in together, with the guy needing another heart transplant after the first one is failing. Then you've got the young man who gets a new heart and lungs. Turns out his heart is viable for the other guy, even though it wasn't viable for him anymore... slightly confused about logistics here but sure. In the end, both patients are successfully saved with the magic of organ donation, and the one guy's boyfriend tearfully hugs the parents of the younger guy. It was such a powerful beautiful moment that really made me tear up. Now that couple doesn't have to rush the wedding, they can take their time!

Looking back at the bulk of this episode, I'm annoyed with pretty much all the romantic drama in the show right now. And this is Grey's Anatomy, so that's kind of... most of the show. That said, there were still plenty of elements here I'm invested in, and that will always remain true! (What's with Jo collapsing in the promo for next week? That doesn't look good!)

7/10

[pulisicz]

lavender haze - christian pulisic

i feel the lavender haze creeping up on me

summary - you are the sister of the infamous taylor swift. you have always been known as the “good girl” and upholding an innocent reputation. while traveling with your sister on tour, you cross paths with a certain soccer player while in london.

pairing - christian pulisic x fem!reader

song inspo - lavender haze (taylor swift)

warnings! - a little bit of strong language

word count - 2.5k

note - i have no idea why i wrote this if i’m being completely honest

part two

-

you woke up around 7 am, only about two hours left in your flight. you get up to find your sister who is somewhere on the plane.

it was your first time going on tour with taylor, and you weren't used to the whole private plane situation, being able to get up whenever. you had never really been in the public eye like her. sure you had a level of status and paparazzi was invested in your life, but nothing near what your sister deals with.

you walked closer to the front of the plane to find your sister wide awake and going her makeup. you looked to the other side of the plane to find joe still fast asleep.

"you're up early". she said as she continued putting on mascara.

it was true, you weren't very much of an "early bird". you liked to take your time waking up in the morning, and oyu often woke up around 10 am, never anywhere near 7 am, but you wanted to make sure you were up a little earlier to give yourself some time to wake up more before you landed.

you took a seat across from taylor and scrolled on instagram as she finished her make up.

"so, you excited to go to london?"

you put your phone down to look up at your sister.

"of course! the only time i've gone was for that one school trip in like freshman year. i'm excited that i can actually see the stuff i want to this time, and no have to follow an itinerary".

you and your sister sat in silence, mindlessly scrolling on your phones, and around 8 am joe finally woke up. his hair looked a mess, which earned a giggle out of you and taylor.

-

training finished a little earlier than scheduled, which of course, none of the boys were complaining.

"hey chris, wanna go to a bar tonight?" mason proposed.

"ben and reece are going, and we're also trying to get joao to go. you in?"

christian hadn't gone out in a few weeks and thought it was long overdue for a night out with the boys.

"yeah, i'm in. just let me know what time you guys are thinking".

"sick, okay".

mason and christian dabbed each other up and finished packing up their stuff from the locker room.

-

the plane was about to land, and as much and you liked the ride, you were ready to get on the ground. you were just so eager to explore the city. you had the whole day to do so, which made you giddy.

"calm down y/n, we land in like 10 minutes". taylor said, laughing a little bit at your eagerness. you couldn't sit still, it was like the most important thing in your life was about to happen. you had never been more excited for anything in your life. well, that might be on over-exaggeration, but to say you were excited was an understatement.

the plane finally landed, and you were the first one out the door, thanking the pilots and staff.

"finally here!"

-

having a chill day was just what christian needed. early training days were nice because that meant the boys had the rest of the day to do whatever they wanted. christian had gone out to but things from the grocery, and got to go see a movie, something he rarely did.

it was about 3 pm, and he was on his couch reading a book. mason had said 6 pm, so christian still had a good 2 and a half hours before he needed to start getting ready.

it was moments like these that christian loved. quiet moments, where he could sit and read, not thinking about anything else.

-

after a full day exploring, you were ready to get back to the hotel. it was only around 3 pm, but a whole day outside was more than enough for you. joe and proposed the idea of going to a bar for dinner and drinks later, which sounded amazing at the moment, but all you wanted to do was lay in your bed and read. you started the shatter me series, which was addicting to read.

time moved faster than you would have liked and before you knew it, it was 5 pm. they were planning to leave for the bar at around 6:15 pm they could get there at around 6:30, so you started getting ready. you didn't want to rush herself, and took your time.

you finished getting ready at around 5:50 pm, which gave you some time to spare, which you of course used to read.

ready? taylor texted, letting you know that she and joe were probably already in the hotel lobby.

yup, on my way down

-

the second christian got to the bar, he was greeted by his friends.

"there you are, mate! thought you would never show". reece yelled, acting like he was just so late. it was only like 6:09, not even a full 10 minutes late.

christian got a beer and joined his friends at a booth while they waited to order food.

"i was not in the mood to come earlier, but jesus, i'm hungry".

"yeah me too, i'll go flag down a waiter so we can get our order in".

just as mason leaves to get a waiter, people start crowding the front door.

"what the hell is going on?" christian asks, while trying to peer around their booth.

the insane crowd of people made it hard to see. the boys regained their focus back when mason walked over with a waiter.

"what can i get you all?"

-

as you arrived at the bar, you were met with a crowd of people.

great.

you had gone the whole day without crowds of people or paparazzi, but of course that streak to be ruined.

all good things come to and end i guess.

"just ignore the, lets go find a table. booth good?" your sister acts.

you always looked up to her, especially now and how she deals with all of the fame and crowds of people. you have to deal with it on a certain level, but never to the degree that she does, and you find it more than impressing. while trying to find a table you spot some familiar soccer player.

they play for chelsea! at least i think so.

you didn't know much about soccer, but you knew of some players, and considering your friend kendall is good friends with neymar jr, you knew a good amount.

you brushed the soccer guys out of your mind, only focusing on how hungry you were.

you got a nice booth in the corner of the bar. it was sort of hidden away from everyone, but you were still able to see the entire bar.

a waiter finally came to your table and you were more than happy.

"what can i get you guys?"

you spoke up first, eager to get your order in.

"i'll get a guinness, and then a cheese burger, american cheese, with french fries".

taylor gave you a shocked and puzzled look, but didn't say anything.

"i will have a cheese burger with provolone cheese and chips, thank you" joe said, putting an enphasis on chips as he looked at you.

ever since you met joe, the two of you had a running joke about fries vs chips, and the joke never went away.

taylor had gotten the same thing as you, and the waiter finished writing before walking back to give to order to the kitchen.

"y/n, what the hell, why did you get a beer?"

so that's what that face was about

"tay, i'm 23, not 5"

whenever you went out with your sister, you had never really gotten alcohol, and she still viewed you as this little girl, so whenever you showed any ounce of maturity, she simply denied it.

after about 20 minutes, your food was finally brought out, along with your drinks. you downed the burger faster than both joe and taylor, so you decided to hit the dance floor to pass the time, and now that you had some food in your body, you were feeling 10 times for energetic.

-

after christian had finished his food he walked over with mason to the dance floor. if there was one thing you needed to know about christian and mason, it was that they would never pass up an opportunity to dance.

christian and mason lost each other, and christian eventually found a girl to dance with. she was quiet a bit shorter than him, around 5'4" maybe.

after about one song, the music cut out. one of the bartenders said that they would try and figure out the problem as soon as possible.

"wanna get a drink?" christian offered. the girl nodded and they made their way over the the bar.

-

to your surprise, christian came up to you and asked to dance. how ironic. you of course could pass up the offer, and grabbed his hand. your back was pressed up against his chest, with his hand around your waist. you were enjoying yourself, until the music cut out. after the bartender said they would try fixing it, christian offered to go to the bar and get some drinks. how could you pass that up?

christian guided you to the bar with his hand still on your waist. you took a seat and was immediately met with the bartender asking you what you wanted to drink. you ordered another beer, to which christian ordered the same thing.

it was surprisingly not awkward between the two of you. you had realized you didn't introduce yourself, so you made sure to do so.

"i'm y/n by the way".

christian looked to you and gave you a smile.

god his smile was charming. you took a second to really look at his features. everything suited him so well, he was more than attractive.

"i'm christian".

he gave you a wink, and then the bartender came over with your beers.

the two of you chatted for a good two hours, before joe came over to tell you that it was time to leave. you sighed and told him you would be right out.

"looks like i gotta leave."

christian gave a little pout before taking out his phone.

"here, can i get your number?"

you gave him a smile and took his phone to put in your number.

"i'll see you around, y/n".

and with that you got up and caught up to joe and taylor.

-

christian sat there pleased before realizing who had come to get you.

was that fucking joe alwyn?

◯︎

the next morning christian woke up is a massive headache. he and his teammates had stayed out way too late, and he drank more than he should've.

even after all those drinks, christian still managed to remember you. after christian had gotten the chance to wake up a little more, he texted you.

hey, it's christian

this might be a long shot, but do you want to maybe go out to lunch?

christian sat there, anxiously waiting for a response. he knew it was very possible for you to still be in bed considering it was only 9 AM, but there was still a chance you would be up. christian turned on the tv to pass the time, letting his phone go dim while he focused on whatever show was on.

about 5 minutes later, christian's phone lit up.

y/n: yeah, that'd be nice! what time were you thinking?

christian picked up his phone and read over your text, and then read it over again to make sure he wasn't going crazy.

christian: how about 12-ish?

he waited for a response, and patiently looked at the three little dots that appeared on his screen.

y/n: 12 sounds great.

christian liked the message and then gave the address of his apartment.

christian: there is this really good place about 10 minutes walk from my apartment if you just want to meet me here.

you liked his text, leaving christian to his thoughts. he subconsciously started playing out how the lunch with you would go. christian never really go nervous for dates, especially something as casual as this, but you were different. he couldn't place his finger on it just yet, though.

◯︎

you called taylor to let her know that would be out in case she needed you for anything.

"a date? y/n, we haven't even been here two full days, how the fuck did you find someone to go on a date with?"

you weren't going to give her a straight answer, so you just brushed over the details.

"it's just this guy. it's super casual. i'll be back by like 2 okay. love you".

before taylor could protest even more, you hung up the phone. you touched up your makeup one last time before heading out of your hotel room.

you had gotten an uber to christian's apartment, and texted him that you were here.

christian: come on up to my apartment

and with that you headed to his apartment. once you got to his door you gave it a knock. he opened the door, and you tried your hardest not to blush. he wasn't even wearing anything nice, just a simple pair of black jeans, a white t-shirt, and a silver chain. he might have been wearing the most basic outfit, but it looked so good on him.

christian was the first person to break the silence.

"hey".

"hey".

"so shall we get going?"

you gave him a nod, and you stepped aside as christian stepped out of his door, locking it behind him.

on your way to the restaurant, taylor had called you.

"y/n, are you on your little date yet?"

"yeah i am, what do you want, taylor".

of course she had to call you while on your date, if that's what you can even call this. it was technically a date, but you felt like it was more casual than a date.

"just letting you know that you need to be ready to leave for the venue at around 5 PM, okay? joe said you and him can grab an uber, sound good?"

you agreed and hung up the phone.

"i'm sorry, that was my sister. we have plans tonight and she was making sure i didn't forget". you said with a little laugh.

christian nodded, and the two of you continued your conversation, before christian got a phone call.

"mason, i'm a little busy right now, but what do you need?"

"i know, it's at kai's house, i didn't forget. yeah okay. i gotta go, but i promise i'll be there. bye"

christian hung up his phone and sighed.

"sorry, just mates of mine. i too have plans tonight, and they were just reminding me for the hundredth time".

before the two of you knew it, you were at the restaurant, finally.

-

knowing joe alwyn, and a sister named taylor? you gotta be fucking kidding me, right?

-

mason and kai? so he most definitely does play for chelsea.

note - i did not mean for this to be so long, so i do have a part 2, which is linked at the top of this page. so sorry this is unnecessarily long

[respectthepetty]

you know what? it's taken a bit but I get it now. I get the Chopper apologist movement. Because he's out here basically bleeding "I'm trying my best" while people tug him left and right. When Nueng gets back to school the look on his face was so full of emotion? And watching that fade from his eyes was painful.

and I get the why but I keep going "he's just a dude!" when people talk to him.

and I know how this all ends but I'm still holding on to some weird hope that he sends his dad packing! please.

@solaarflaree, Chopper is the BEST BOY who has ever walked these BL streets!

I already publicly apologized to him, and I listed him as the Greenest Flag, but I need everyone to understand just why this boy is the Bestest Boy in a league of Best Boys that includes King (Hit Bite Love), King (Bed Friend), and Tinn (My School President).

He was not the lead. He was a support character WHO SUPPORTED EVERYONE!

He even supported the guy who broke his heart

He supported him so much, he gave his best wishes to Ben pursuing HIS COUSIN

And he supported his cousin being with the guy who broke his heart --- WILD! The Kings and Tinn could never. They are good guys, but they aren't the BEST BOY.

He was honest to Nueng, Ben, Palm, AND his shitty father

As you stated, he was just a boy. All these other boys were fucking up every other second, yet gave our BEST BOY no relief. Ben sucked often, yet demanded Chopper snitch on his dad. Nueng was screwing up the first half of the show, but told Chopper he was awful. Palm was blinded by love and doing questionable things, but had the nerve to jump Chopper and throw him against a wall. If we are excusing all the rest of the boys, our BEST BOY deserves the same grace.

He wasn't just doing his best; he was doing better than the rest

He didn't kill his dad, which still bothers me, but that only proved he was the best. He wasn't going to throw out his morals by killing someone making him no different than his shitty father.

I liked Never Let Me Go, but the ending I really wanted for my Lamb Chop was him leaving all their asses behind and living his best life as an investment banker chatting about bitcoins on Reddit while getting all the British booty.

He deserves to be the best Sugar Daddy he wants to be. Amen.

[cantquitu]

Why do you think Harry ended up being closer to Ed than Louis did? I'm thinking about James Corden too. He started as Louis's friend and he introduced Harry. I think there were others too

Well, why do any two people become closer friends? There are countless reasons and we can't possibly know them all. But from what we do know from their interviews etc it seems clear to me that Harry was far more present and invested in building friendships in London than Louis was. Meanwhile, Louis was invested in his new relationship with Eleanor (and her new friends), and maintaining his friends group from Doncaster.

And this is not specifically directed at you, Anon, but let me go off on a tangential thread about how conspiracy theorising in this fandom skews discussion of things like Louis' and Harry's friendships. Because the Larrie conspiracy theory colours everything.

You have the tinhat hate bloggers saying dumb shit like, "Harry targeted rich and influential people from the very beginning because he is ruthlessly ambitious and only cares about money and fame blah blah blah", and the just plain nasty hate bloggers saying, "Nobody successful wants to be friends with Louis because he's a dull chav who's of no interest or benefit to them blah blah...". And then you have the OG-style Larries saying, "Well actually, Ed and James and Adele ARE friends with both Louis and Harry because they're a couple, they're just very discreet about it because Reasons"

Meanwhile, the truth is probably way more mundane than any of that. And it almost certainly conforms more to the (limited) info that we fans have been privy to.

I would guess that Harry and Louis' friendships were shaped by personality, age, priorities, personal circumstances etc....same as it is for Normals.

Harry's friendships with people like Ed, James, Grimmy, Ben etc all started forming in 2011 when he was 17 and living in London, away from his family and childhood friends (who were still at school! Because they were 17!!) I don't think it's a coincidence that these new friendships really took off when Louis started dating Eleanor in September 2011. But of course all the conspiracy theorists can't accept that Louis was actually besotted by Eleanor, so this is dismissed as a key factor.

Until then, Harry and Louis had a super intense new friendship. They were touring with the X Factor tour, going to Sweden to record their album, they'd moved into their shared flat, they were going to gigs and music festivals and meeting new people together etc.

Louis met Eleanor at exactly the same time as 1D launched. From then on, all the 1D boys were constantly travelling and working. They had hardly any time off at all, and it's clear that Louis prioritised spending as much of that free time as possible with Eleanor. He went to visit her at Manchester Uni or they were hanging out in London.

Harry was single, wasn't an adult yet, and totally unmoored from his old life. All his old friends were living at home with their parents and going to school every day. He spent about 90% of his life, 24/7, with the four other 1D members and their team. When they weren't working, what was Harry going to do - sit on his ass? Zayn and Liam had their best friends living with them. Niall's mum was living with him. Louis had Eleanor and his mates back home who were all at uni or starting work.

Harry was on his own! It's not exactly like he could call one of his mates from Holmes Chapel and say, "Come down to London and we'll go out on the piss!" They were probably doing homework!

Louis' friends were in a totally different stage in their lives. All age 19 or 20, they had the freedom and autonomy that a schoolkid doesn't have. Although their lives were completely different to Louis', they could at least join in on some of the madness. Louis' first years in 1D coincided with his friends' uni years, and I think that really contributed to them maintaining the strong bond which is so important to Louis. Harry's schoolfriends' lives were unimaginably different to his. Like, for H&L's New Year's party in 2011, Louis got a bus-load of mates down from Doncaster. Harry had some childhood friends there too, but think about it - they would would have had to ask their mums for permission to go :)

So it's no surprise that Harry built a friendship group around him in London. Many artists who become successful young do not manage to do this and have spoken about how isolated and alone they were when away from the screaming and the stage. It seems to me that Harry is lucky to have the type of personality that enabled him to build friendships easily. It appears he was extremely proactive in doing so. Ed has said Harry would text him and ask did he want to hang out, Grimmy said the same, Dermot O'Leary did too. It's clear that Harry was invested in those relationships, that he put time and effort into them, and that's how those friendships grow. Louis had other priorities - he was in a brand new relationship with his girlfriend whom he adored. It's the most basic story in the book, but it's one that tinhats don't like to think about.

[mandalhoerian]

bruh my comment was too long to post under the new chapter so i’m sending an ask. saw the ao3 notif and scheduled to read it this fine evening, good thing i was like “lemme scroll on tumblr and see what’s up” because SJFKDJLXBZB the face i made when i saw i was tagged and followed BY YOU? also ma’am 🤚🏻wdym nobody comments like i do. like what do you mean. i have a concerning relationship with receiving praise so i advise you to stfu (affectionately).

my poor girl vera can’t catch a break, loss after loss after loss in such a short period. i just want to give her lots and lots of hugs (consensually). on another note i love that she clocked ada’s intentions right away bc capcom wtf is that writing. one person taking down a whole organization is like sending only one person to save president’s kidnapped daughter (laugh track). let me tell you i have been waiting for this 🤌🏻 vera and ada interacting 🤌🏻 leon being there all charming and naive and trusting people easily 🤌🏻 shai you just get the dynamics of all the characters *so right* 🤌🏻

sorry for the excessive amount of parentheses and emojis let me just find another obnoxiously annoying emoji to spam about the intimacy between leon and vera. 🤧 it’s this one but i’m wiping my snot away from crying about it. the small touches between the two are so tender in this fucked up world 🤧 vera’s hand on his forearm… leon collecting her in his arms, comforting her 🤧 his arm on her shoulder 🤧 i could cry and get a headache from thinking about them. i’m so serious.

(gnawing at the bars of my enclosure) JILL VALENTINE MENTION???? VERA KNOWS HER? WHAT IS THE LORE? I NEED TO KNOW.

how does one end a delirious comment. uhhh. so yeah. i love nttd and vera so much and i’m so happy that it’s back babyyyy.

Ofc I followed!!!! I don't remember why I didn't in the first place like but like ???? ur making it sound like I'm some big shot but like pls im a loser who's writing oc fanfiction on the internet and is so lucky and grateful to get people invested in it!!!!! AND YES nobody comments like you do! You're the dream of a fanfiction author ON GOD. THANK YOU SO MUCH

ramble below to keep your dashboards clean:

I think we talked about this over on ao3 but honestly re2r's ada just doesn't make sense to me. The FBI cover is logical (when you first think about it), but the way she's immediately pulling a gun on Annette the minute they see her and DECLARING her intentions isn't. She then proceeds to reveal her target is Annette, and then her going with the FBI thing becomes less logical, bc why would Annette hand over the G-Virus sample to the feds, either? It's entirely a shock factor thing revolved around Leon, she's only fooling him -- or maybe, she's fooled Ben like this, too, and was forced to stick to her cover when shit went down, we don't know 😭 why did they do my girl ada like that... (ngl re4r ada supremacy. period.)

But either way, un-truths she would throw as a bone to a "civilian" like Leon would of course be caught by Vera, nugget by nugget, while still making her think "mayhaps the FBI is misinformed????" -- I didn't want to ruin that fine line by Ada going on about Annette making the virus and her being the most dangerous of all "g-virus g-virus g-virus" or whatever because 1) WHY WOULD A SPY DO THAT???? 2) it would surely make Vera go "yeah NOPE" 💀💀

it's so much fun for them to try sussing each other out, Light and L mind games over there while Leon is happily frolicking. not one thought behind those eyes 😭

ALSO LIKE YES THE TOUCHES!!!!!! It's Leon initiating all of them for me 👹👹👹 physical touch taking over when words can't. my favorite thing of all UGGHHHHHHHH THANK YOU FOR JOINING ME IN MY MISERY

ALSO totally not going "actually 🤓☝" as I'm saying this because it's been HALF A WHOLE YEAR + the fic is over 100K words -- Vera knows Jill from post!mansion incident - pre!outbreak, in that ephemeral "investigation" phase of Jill's. I do mention it in the fic that Vera supplies information to Jill (as around that time she's trying to get rid of the weight of all she knows and trying to pass on the "hero's job" to someone else) and they exchange their findings while trying to be careful not to get caught by ppl Umbrella put on Jill's tail. I think I wrote it in passing that Vera was disguised as a secretary and sat back-to-back with Jill on a booth in one of those occasions? She's loosely connected to re3r by having a brief appearance in carlos' police station section in my head, entrusting Jill to him and all and promising to meet up with them in the station once she talks to her dad about it ☹

"delirious comment" WDYM ITS MY LIFEBLOOD THANK YOU 😭

[cringecompanionapologist]

Balloon Debate: WTF Is Even This Short Trip?

So, here I am following up on Balloon Debate. It's time to discuss exactly wtf happens in this thing.

I'll include a cut for Spoilers because I'm going to spoil the whole damn thing.

I'll explain the Basic Premise for anyone who hasn't read my previous posts about it. Balloon Debate is a Short Trip in which Sarah Jane writes a little story in universe about some weird interdimensional disaster where the televised companions of the first 7 Doctors all end up in the TARDIS together at the same time. This causes the TARDIS to go all screwy and start getting smaller on the inside. K9, who serves the role of Exposition Bot, reports that the life support will soon only be enough to sustain six passengers. Since a TARDIS is meant to be piloted by six people, this makes sense. As a robot, K9 doesn't need oxygen, so he doesn't count. But, the only way for any of the companions to survive for long enough to help the Doctor/escape the TARDIS, is to throw a few rooms into the vortex with most of the passengers as well.

The vast majority of companions immediately accept that people are gonna die and that the goal is to make it be not them. The only one to immediately protest this is Adric.

And of course he gets picked on for wanting to find a better solution to the problem, because he is Adric and this was written in 2003.

So, while Adric messes around with the console in an attempt to save everyone's lives, it's decided that everyone will take a turn arguing why they should be among the six survivors. Everyone is also a dick to Mel.

So, if you're too negative or positive, we hate you. Got it.

Look, this blog is called Cringe Companion Apologist for a reason. I'm always going to complain about unpopular companions being treated unfairly. This story has a lot of that.

Anyway, the debate begins. They go in alphabetical order, so Ace makes her argument first.

Adric's turn doesn't go very well for him, since he's still trying to save everyone's collective asses. He's taking a while, so Turlough gets impatient, but at least he believes in him.

Adric tries something and the console zaps him. He dies. Because he's Adric.

Since Tegan appears to know Turlough, that means she's from a point in her timeline where she's seen Adric die before. You'd think she, and possibly Nyssa, would have some sort of reaction to this, but no one really does and the debate goes on.

I'm not going to throw in a screenshot of every argument because that's too many screenshots. From here on out, I'll only include ones that I can't easily sum up by myself. Most arguments amount to "I'm a badass" or "I'm a genius". Barbara's is one of the more unique.

While most companions make arguments about why they shouldn't die, there are a few other types of argument. Ben just wants to go where Polly goes, Polly goes where Ben goes, and Ian goes where Barbara goes. I'm skipping around here because of how similar their arguments are. None of them are very complicated.

Dodo is the first of many "I know I'm totally fucked but" arguments.

Out of the companions that are often treated poorly, unlike with Adric and Mel, this story is actually pretty kind to Dodo.

Harry offers to sacrifice himself for one of the ladies.

Inspired by Harry's willingness to die, Leela speaks out of turn, skipping several people, to declare her willingness to die a warrior's death.

Jamie is also ready to die, because he's spent quite a while being willing to die for the people he's loyal to.

It's sweet that Zoe is invested in someone other than her surviving. Will Ian/Barbara and Ben/Polly are couples who will Live Together or Die Together, Jamie and Zoe come across as just good friends who care about each other.

Then it's Jo's turn to be bullied make her case. Sarah Jane is more special than her and Liz is smarter. A lot of drama with Three's companions here.

This would be Mel's turn if everyone wasn't awful.

At least Nyssa feels bad about it. She wins the Good Person Award for this. She also decides that, though she's got science knowledge, other people would be better than her and she's already outlived the rest of her species, so she's ready to go. She'd be useful in keeping the rest of the survivors from killing each other, but okay.

Peri is another unpopular companion who's treated at least decently. She's too young to die, but she knows that she doesn't have many useful skills. There really isn't much for her to say.

The Romanas make their argument together, though they're aware that There Can Be Only One. Then Romana I completely screws over Romana II.

Since Sarah Jane is the one writing this story, it's sort of a given that she'll be one of the survivors. Whatever her argument is, it's really not important. She just kinda wants to be a companion again and is really motivated.

Steven is willing to sacrifice himself as long as someone takes care of Hi-Fi, the stuffed panda who was his only friend during two years of solitary confinement. Nobody volunteers to look after the panda because they're all terrible people.

You'd think Susan would be obvious, but Romana I pulls a "where's the birth certificate" on her.

Again. Terrible People.

Tegan's argument is slightly interrupted by Turlough.

Turlough, meanwhile, is still with Adric, wondering why they don't try to find a less lethal solution. But he sulks, so we're supposed to not like him.

I will admit that Turlough seems in-character here, at the very least.

Vicki sees herself as Not Susan and if Susan isn't surviving this, she knows she's not. Because Ian and Barbara were clearly traveling with Susan and hadn't met her yet, Steven is the supportive co-companion.

Victoria has nothing to appeal to except pity. This somehow works better than when anyone else does it.

Lastly, Zoe has some simple, logical arguments.

So, we don't know how voting worked or who voted for who, but the winners are Harry, Liz, Romana I, Sarah Jane, Victoria, and Zoe. We're treated to the last moments of everyone else.

Honestly, if Peri and approached either Turlough or Jamie and insisted, they probably would've comforted her. Jamie would be a gentleman and Turlough would probably want to be comforted too, but would never admit it. So, they died as they lived: confused, miserable, and annoyed with Mel.

You might be wondering why Harry didn't take the place of one of the women like he said he would. Once it's revealed that this is a story Sarah Jane is writing for her own amusement, she admits that it was out-of-character for him not to do that.

To sum up the rest of the story, they took too long debated and the TARDIS has decided that There Can Be Only Two now, leaving Sarah Jane and Victoria. K9 gets a message from the Doctor (somehow) that he's gone to another dimension, can never return, knew he could only take one companion, and he chose Victoria. The Victoria in the TARDIS is actually Kamelion and K9 shoots him. Sarah Jane seems to think it makes sense that Victoria would be the chosen companion, though I still don't get it.

Sarah Jane had writer's block and she wrote this just to get out of it and it was never meant to be seen by Man. She never met most of the companions she was writing about and wrote them based on...stories she heard about them, or something.

The answer to the WTF Is Wrong with Everybody question is unknown to this very day.

[oodlyenough]

unfortunately the more i think about yellowjackets s2 the more gripes i have so i need to exorcise them:

in s1 i felt like both the present day and the wilderness sequences fed off each other nicely and while i think i was slightly more invested in the teens in the woods, bc what a great plot lol, i still enjoyed the adults and seeing how it all fit and the guessing game of survivors

s2's adult plotline has lost basically all momentum for me. it is like, a plot i am enduring to get back to the woods, where the stuff i care about is happening, except i can already kind of guess most of the outcomes, because i know who all the adult survivors are

shauna's murder plot is only moderately interesting because melanie lynskey is the funniest woman alive and every line she delivers delights me. it's nice to see adult van, but they have yet to actually do much with adult van, and i'm not sure "van's dying! again!" is the move. i cannot fathom why we made taissa win the election just for her career and subsequent press attention/fame/whatever to have no fucking relevance at all. she could've lost and still been a divorced deadbeat mother lol. i can't begin to guess where anything is going with lottie, nat and misty in the present

anyway here's more stray gripes:

WHY is this particular group of adult women *excited* for snowfall LMAOOOO... ???...

coach ben's storyline needs to hurry tf up. most of his flashbacks after the first two-ish haven't really told us anything new imo, they're hitting the same beats

i get that the show was trying to be funny and experimental but i found the misty float tank sequence absolutely excruciating and five times longer than it had any right to be

really struggling to care about lottie's cult stuff

shauna's goat storyline was ok until they had shauna just verbatim deliver the obvious moral of that storyline.

for a show with a set cast of characters from day 1 it's very jarring every time a new girl shows up out of the blue to get spotlighted for a bit before probably dying. i guess some of them actually have been in the bg this whole time, according to imdb, but it does always leave me like "huh????"

i get that this is a show where weird stuff happens and it's perhaps not the least plausible thing ever but lottie surviving that beating with no medical care is really... lol

love and miss u ghost jackie

anyway. it's still appointment viewing for me because i want to see where it's all going, i like the characters + concept + wilderness stuff, and many of the performances are very good. but after s1 aired (which i watched mistakenly believing it was a miniseries lol) i remember thinking "oh man. this could spiral off the rails so easily" and uh I am concerned that is already happening lol

[fakeoldmanfucker]

oh i'd love to hear about the reason why you side with zuck 100% in the whole saverin and zuck story since i don't have access to the book you mentioned too, i know zuck said sth about saverin didn't do his job right and postponed signing papers or sth which harm facebook development and zuck did talk to moskovitz about diluting saverin shares, unlike the film, i haven't read the book ben merzich wrote about facebook with saverin cosultant yet (i have limited english reading comprehension) so idk how much of its content was in the film, but still saverin should thank the film for white-washing his image because people really think zuck was always the bad guy but in reality it just made him (saverin) look like a petty person because without him facebook would still do fine and till today his biggest achievement is still facebook co-founder lol, i think people who really like eduardo in film should not search about what happened irl because yeah it would taint your image of him 😂 i have to distinguish between the film and irl version by using first name (for film) and last name (for irl) sorry for rambling again, thanks in advance if you reply this ask!

"saverin didn't do his job right" oh that is certainly one way of putting it lmao

A more accurate representation would be that Saverin got way too power-hungry for his own good and basically froze Facebook's assets. That scene in The Social Network where Eduardo freezes the account, prompting Mark to call him, implying that the account was only frozen for a little while? In reality, that lasted for months. It was a stand-off between Saverin, who wanted more stake in the company and more power, even though he was barely helping the company and was on the east coast, and Mark, who was working on Facebook 24/7. Saverin didn't just want more power, he wanted to be CEO. This from a man who had only been to the offices a few times, and when he did do something for Facebook, he usually called his dad first to ask what he should do. No I'm not even exaggerating; that's where a lot of the delays came from. I think Mark, and the rest of the team, thought Saverin was immature; they were going all-in on this company, and Saverin was working at an internship (no he didn't quit it like they say in the film) all the way across the country and wouldn't respond to Mark's emails for days or weeks at a time.

Another thing that strikes me as funny is that, if Saverin had been a little less power-hungry, more willing to compromise and be a team player, he could've succeeded in the company. Chris Hughes went back to Harvard after that first summer, but he still stayed close to the team and, by the time of his senior year, was flying out to the west coast every two weeks. Saverin could've had both, if he'd been a little bit more patient. But instead he went for an unstable grab at CEO (truly, I Truly cannot comprehend what he was thinking, it is so phenomenally stupid), and Mark froze him out. Saverin hadn't been contributing to the company! When Saverin froze the account, Mark (as well as Dustin) had to take out loans just to keep the lights on, literally. During a time when the servers going down would've been instant death for the company...I think Mark's reaction was justified.

The craziest thing to me is...Saverin doesn't even need to rest on his laurels. Sure, Facebook will be the biggest thing he's ever been a part of, but his venture capital firm B Capital isn't doing too badly! They have offices all over the world and they're investing in a ton of different sectors. He doesn't need to keep returning to Facebook, and yet he does.

I love film-Eduardo as much as the next person. He's a really compelling character and Andrew Garfield brings a lot of life to him. I just think the film gives Saverin too much credit.

I will say, however, that Mark has definitely retroactively tried to write out Saverin from having any part in the founding of Facebook, when it's obvious to me that at one point they were really friends and Mark did really trust him. There's an account of someone talking to Zuckerberg and Saverin in the summer of 2003 about a website/company they were planning, which would become Facebook. (Note, this is before facemash or ConnectU/the Winklevii, and before Mark had even met Dustin; Mark had been planning something like Facebook for at least several months before he actively started working on it in early 2004.) I don't think Mark was ever as close to Saverin as he was with, say, Adam D'Angelo or, later, Dustin Moskovitz, but there was a genuine partnership there.

Note: I would say read The Accidental Billionaires with caution; it's almost entirely informed by Saverin's account, and while I think it's good to get that perspective, it is very biased. If you want a personal narrative about Facebook, though one taking place a little bit after the founding, I would point you to The Boy Kings by Katherine Losse. This one still has bias, because Kate worked at Facebook and has her own views on things, but she has a little bit more perspective than someone so closely wrapped up in the dynamics.

[autisticempathydaemon]

If you're still doing the matchups, I'd love to get one, thanks. This is such a cute and fun idea, and I've loved reading them. Thanks for doing this!

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why? Queencard by (G)I-dle. It's mostly in Korean, so I can't understand most of the lyrics, but it just makes me feel so happy.

What is your Enneagram type?

5

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why?

Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Depends if it's something I'm vaguely interested in or not.

Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend.

I don't remember, and I asked my mum and she can't remember any details either

What is your go-to way to fall asleep?

Get waaaay too tired because I've stayed up too late 😭

Aside from that, my fave Redacted sleep aid

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?)

Daisy maybe, I like the sound of it.

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why?

Anything Adam. Something about him just scratches that weird little itch in my brain just right.

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.)

Sam maybe. I haven't listened to most of his audios, so haven't got really invested. Also the overhype for him in the fandom has kinda made me sick of him.

Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to.

None really, I don't rewatch stuff a lot, and my memory isn't great, so that doesn't help lmao.

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend?

Guy, maybe. He's so fun and I love him so much, but I don't think I'd want to date him.

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.)

Nope, I just get really quiet when I'm sleepy.

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo.

A slurpee and a sweet pastry of some kind, probably.

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment. 

I've made one that I add all my musical hyperfixations to as they occur. It's sooo good (imo anyways).

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why?

I try not to feel guilty about anything that I really enjoy. I guess boyfriend asmr could count, since it's not something I'd discuss with anyone unless I knew they were also a fan.

And whatever else you think tells me about who you are!

Idk, I'm just a person at war with their brain (ADHD) and their body (gender dysphoria)

Thanks again! ❤❤❤

Type Fives seem to be characterized as independent, thoughtful people in their own heads and thoughts. That tracks with what I know of ADHD and your quiet temperament when you become tired, and because of this, I like Huxley with you.

I feel like people can take Fives, like Honey, and mistake their stoic or introverted nature for misanthropy or arrogance; Huxley would know better. He strikes me as a very chill, flexible ambivert, nature thriving in clamor or silence, you know? He’d be a supportive, steady presence by your side- your rock, if you will, which all neurodivergent people could use (I say from experience).

Being with Huxley would be just so perfect, as perfect as a relationship could realistically be. He’s so thoughtful, considerate, and empathetic; he’d be a great person to have around when suffering from dysphoria, always willing to listen and knowing what he can do to help. Since he’s also so chill and so nice and so genuinely interested, he’d love to hear you talk about boyfriend asmr or whatever you might be hyperfixated on. He’d be one of those people who sincerely listens to infodump and becomes an expert on those subjects just to engage with you and what you love.

Song:

Ooh, who said it's true/ That the growing only happens on your own?/ They don't know me and you/ I don't think you have to leave/ If to change is what you need/ You can change right next to me

I’m a sucker for Huxley and songs with growing/nature-centric word choices; what can I say? Huxley strikes me as a chill, acoustic, indie kind of guy who loves some solid, stellar vocals, so this Ben Platt song works well with that. I also love that this is a really realistically romantic song that has a sentiment I could see Huxley expressing, you know? It has this imagery of two people like vines or trees in a relationship, growing together, becoming intertwined, supporting each other over them.

Runner-ups:

Lasko is a runner-up because I’m a Lasko kinnie, I’m autistic so Lasko is autistic, and there’s no cuter ship than the ADHD/Autistic ship, you know? They work! Ollie is a runner up for more legitimate reasons in that he has a lot of the same supportive, sweet traits as Huxley- just not as much.

note: thank you so much for waiting and playing~!

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[karkallicious]

Homestuck as random bullshit I've said EB: someone's gotta tell betty crocker to lay off the cocaine.

EB: i’ve seen michael cera more times than i’d like to today.

EB: i'm sure ben stiller is a decent guy irl but if given the choice between being shot or watching all of his movies i'd ask about the bullet caliber.

TT: Women only want me for my skills in the occult and not my great personality or awesome ass...

TT: That sounds like an issue you should take up with Freud.

TT: But when someone add's apostrophe's to any word that end's with s? You went out of your way to add those. Ignoring your spell check screaming and crying. A tear rolling down the cheek of your elementary school teachers.

TT: Sometimes I'll see an incredibly minor typo and have to resist the urge to be the most pedantic person known to humanity.

TT: This is eldritch horror fucker discrimination.

TG: you dont just take someones obama prism away man

TG: i draw the line at rapping muppets dude

(when questioned as to why $100 was spent on a sword) TG: uh. well. it's a sword.

TG: well it doesnt sound as hilarious to review dildos and say "this one is sans" when you guys are this unenthusiastic

TG: if i ever die play caramelldansen at my funeral TG: theres no sentimental reason or anything TG: i just want to completely throw off the vibes

GG: i’m on board with men in maid dresses regardless of furry status coward

GG: home alone so things are getting pretty wild (talking to a cactus)

GG: local bitch takes "worst nap ever" wakes up several hours later sweaty and somehow more tired

(extreme cold warning in effect, active blizzard outside, sent at 7:18 pm) GG: my grandpa and i are going to dairy queen just for the hell of it

GG: I was gonna get shit done today, so I made a pie.

GG: The only explanation I had for my impromptu dessert making was “This is how I deal with stress...”

GG: Getting genuinely invested in the Cookie Clicker stock market.

TT: (watches toddler trip and fall) skill issue

TT: I frankly think it's a tragedy disney hasn't remade more movies but with muppets.

TT: They're just like "yeah okay dark lord with a robot army we all know you have a ponysona"

TT: I don't make a habit of looking at US political figure anime boy mpreg.

(while holding a katana and talking to a poster) TT: Do you think I make too many impulse purchases, Hatsune Miku?

TG: if not meant to claw grip kitty head why kitty head so holdable

TG: "it's a bad omen when a black cat crosses your path" incorrect, my day has just been significantly improved by seeing a kitty

(on fruitcake) TG: listen you have to pour alcohol into that shit until too many pieces could have you stumbling. great grandma knew how to party

GT: My amusing mugs have had the side effect that today my grandma asked me if she should go full goblin mode or if I wanted to.

GT: You don’t ask questions when a game makes the bold decision to sexualize a t-rex.

GT: Thinking about the time we played a murder mystery game as a family and I got way too into character as a victorian era author.

GT: I'm still disappointed about the time my zoo camp didn't get to watch the tigers being fed because like 15 tornadoes were headed towards us.

GT: Hey lads I just almost accidentally blinded myself.

AA: i love ritualpastas. i like to figure out at what point i would fail and probably get my skin turned into a throw rug or smth

AA: (skelet0n v0ice) hey bitches

AA: oh i have demons in me now thats fun

AA: d0 gh0sts c0unt as pe0ple?

AA: there would be teeth scattering like a fucked up sprinkler

AT: tHIS ISN'T ABOUT PORN ANYMORE IT'S ABOUT MAKING MORE POKEMON COMPETITIVELY VIABLE

AT: i’D LIKE TO THINK I’M NOT OVERLY EMOTIONAL BUT JUST NOW I ALMOST CRIED BECAUSE I REMEMBERED THE SOUND PORCUPINES MAKE AND I REALLY WANT TO HUG ONE BUT DUE TO THE NATURE OF PORCUPINES I CANNOT

AT: i CAN FAINTLY HEAR A CHICKEN IN MY NEIGHBORS’S YARD,,, wHAT

AT: i JUST SPILLED HOT COFFEE ON MYSELF AND APOLOGIZED TO THE BARISTA PROFUSELY

TA: my neme2ii2, biilly bob rockafiire. iit wa2 dark iin there.

TA: (dub2tep play2 a2 ii collap2e on the floor)

TA: ii don't thiink ii've giiven a fuck iin 2everal year2

TA: at thii2 poiint ii’m a2kiing the computer iif iit want2 a blood 2acriifiice

CG: *PEOPLE ARE IDIOTS AND IM NOT ALLOWED TO SAY THAT IN NINTENDO GAMES WHICH I PLAY DUE TO THEIR MORE CALM NATURE*

CG: IMAGINE THE MOST LOUD, DISAPPOINTED, DEFEATED SIGH YOU CAN. ON MY BEHALF.

CG: I WILL FUCK MYSELF OUT OF SPITE. IT WILL BE AN ENDLESS FEEDBACK LOOP, AN INFINITE ENERGY SOURCE, OF SPITE AND SELF FUCKING

CG: "THAT'S A PROBLEM FOR FUTURE ME," I SAY, FORGETTING THAT NOW FUTURE ME HAS TO DEAL WITH THE PROBLEM

CG: UGH THIS PLACE IS FULL OF PEOPLE AND THEYRE ALL STUPID AND I HAVE NO ONE TO VOICE MY GRIEVANCES TO OUTSIDE OF THE INTERNET.

AC: :33 < you meow in theory catgirls would probably eat anything smaller than them based on actual cat behaviours

AC: :33 < i at one point went out in public with homemade cat ears and a tail and tbh it wasn’t that bad. like sure people might judge but it turns out being cringe is being fr33

AC: :33 < *bap bap bap bap bap*

AC: :33 < i just wanted to try something but discovered the owo extension was twagically wemowoved. a woss fur evewybody

AC: :33 < today i said "you will be exiled for your baby crimes" because my cat was messing with my sketchbook

GA: If You Wouldnt Fuck A Vampire Minimum Youre A Coward

GA: I Use Amazon The Least I Can Out Of Spite That They Took Away My Favorite Fabric Store

GA: My Aesthetic Is Vampire Aligned Not Ghost Aligned I Dont Wear White

GA: I Am Going To Forcefeed You An Entire Fucking Dictionary

GC: 1 DON'T CONDON3 CR1M3S GUYS. UNL3SS TH3Y'R3 FUNNY

GC: TH3 ONLY V4L1D CH4NG1NG LOGO TO R41NBOW FL4G TH1NG 1S WH3N TH3 SCP FOUND4T1ON DO3S 1T

GC: 1T’S TH31R F4ULT TH3Y COULDN’T H4NDL3 B31NG D3C4P1T4T3D OFF1C3R >:]

GC: DON'T D13 DUD3 TH4T WOULD B3 D3C1D3DLY UNG4M3RL1K3 OF YOU

AG: remem8er kids: no matter how 8ad things get, at least you’re not the middle dude in a human centipede. pro8a8ly.

AG: spider furries: “88w88 what’s this?”

AG: may god have mercy on your 8ones because I won’t

(about a ripped cat plushie) CT: D --> we can rebuild him. we have the technology.

CT: D --> why must being cool come at the cost of being really sweaty

CT: D --> that's a horse... with an ass on both ends...

TC: WhY wOuLd YoU bUy *ShRoOmS* oN *eTsY*

TC: SoRrY wRoNg PoSt I wAs TrYiNg To ShArE cLoWn MiLkInG

TC: “AnY lAsT wOrDs, PuNk?” “HoNk”

TC: I hAvE aCtUaLlY eAtEn LeMoN sLiCeS aT rEsTaUrAnTs As ThE wAiTeR wAtChEs In HoRrOr

CA: i wwas nevver invvited to any high school parties. they might havve happened. i just wwas not invvited

(about invasive fish coming onto land) CA: i knoww this is an envvironmental hazard and all but let’s face it it’s a little funny

CA: i havve an spqr hat and i lovve it but also don't wwant people coming up to me like "you knoww wwhat the romans did right" like if i did not knoww a god damn thing about roman history i wwould not be wwearing the hat

CA: i'm a slut in theory. in practice i am not vvery good at it.

CA: anyone wwho thinks i'm insufferable for acknowwledging that i'm not unattractivve is ignoring all the other perfectly vvalid reasons i'm insufferable.

CC: one time I managed to make ocean puns back and fort)( wit)( a friend for like an )(our and I t)(ink our friend w)(o was also in t)(e car actually contemplated krilling us

CC: starfis)(... are mermaid nipple clamps

(Sends picture of a horde of goldfish) CC: my entourage