#but succeeding at this would be funnier

[somecunttookmyurl]

god help me i am about to enter live chat with new york public library to try and persuade them to scan an article for me from a journal published in 1997 because it's one of 4 back-issues not available online from the publisher and they are the only public library on the whole of planet earth with a physical copy

[yesokayiknow]

just rewatched the husbands of river song and it is SO funny to hear twelve be like 'you just have to accept that everything ends 😔' king you were not saying that last episode

[tandytoaster]

The lil 14 year old trans boy at my work said I was his favourite

[brionysea]

when it comes to the umbrella academy, a lot of people seem to think that the first half is great and the second half is terrible. personally, I think only the first *season* is great, or even good. here's why:

the mission statement at the end of season 1 is fixing viktor, but viktor isn't the only broken one, so you can infer that they're all going to have to fix *each other* - as a family, the one thing their abuser never let them be. and the world's burning down around them because of the most dramatic sibling confrontation to ever grace the earth, but they're holding hands and escaping together and surviving the impossible with the intent to move forward, even if that means momentarily moving backwards. it's a masterful allegory for finally growing up, accepting responsibility for your personal trauma and tragedy and how they shaped you, and the moment you take that power back by choosing to heal your inner child, only after being slapped in the face with the fact that if you don't, it *will* destroy everything you've ever built, ever cared about, and ever could.

and then the rest of the show forgets all of it. as it were, it goes in the *exact opposite direction.*

on the surface, the second season isn't *as* bad as the subsequent ones are. but season 3 and 4's faults can be traced back to season 2 by how it pivoted away from the serious subject matter that the story (not the plot - the *story*) was heavily baked in, leaning hard into the goofier elements instead, without ever understanding the contrast that those conflicting elements served to highlight. it made them both more powerful; the jokes were funnier because you were just devastated, and the trauma was more devastating because you were just in tears laughing. the emotional roller coaster is key to understanding these people, and you *have* to take the serious stuff seriously for it to work. at least half of the show doesn't, and as a result, the emotional moments feel hollow.

controversial opinion: as a character, luther is better in season 1 than he is anywhere else. he's more unlikable, but that's because he's implicitly there to show what *not* to do - even if he'd succeeded narratively by locking viktor up and saving the world, he still failed thematically by emulating their father and continuing the cycle of abuse - so luther's a character that's being very effectively used to add to the core theme of the story. he feels like a real, frustrating person, whose brain chemistry got messed up by years of abuse and isolation, all for the crime of thinking his father loved him and wanted the best for him. not like a made up guy on your screen doing silly stuff solely for your entertainment.

season 2 was also the start of the characters getting love interests instead of storylines, which season 1 never would have *dreamed* of; klaus and dave's tragic romance only served to further klaus's character arc, viktor's creepy boyfriend was actually manipulating him the whole time, five's fractured-psyche-mannequin was a narrative tool to let us see into the head of such an emotionally reticent character, and so on. the romance served the character, but fairly quickly into the show's progression, it felt like the character started serving the romance. five was immune to this curse for a long time due to aidan gallagher's age, which is why he's (for the most part) the best, most consistent character across the show, because they had to use their *imagination* for him and actually *write an arc* instead of falling back on tired romance tropes that any selection of characters could slot into to fill the dead space.

after season 1, the umbrella academy is entertaining, but it doesn't have anything to *say.* which is extremely disappointing when the show initially made such a strong case for what it wanted to be.

[freckliedan]

if they're both out, then why bother hiding their relationship / stuff like sharing a room and going on couple holidays? surely all of their fans know that they're together so i don't get the point of buying a home with 2 bedrooms and having a fake apartments? sorry very confused very casual fan here

hi!!! i am always so happy to share information, so ty for asking me about it! i'm going to take these questions piece by piece ^_^

if they're out why bother hiding: most of the examples of them taking serious steps to hide their relationship are from before they came out! they have been together since 2009, but dan wasn't even out to his family until 2019, shortly before he came out publicly.

why not come out sooner than that? i'll try to be brief and avoid rehashing dan's entire coming out video (which is worth watching). several reasons: he was severely bullied from early childhood onward for being gay—from before he even had the chance to consider if he was actually gay. his dad was homophobic to the point dan seems to have removed him from his life completely, & he was raised by religious grandparents so unsure of the reception there.

and significantly: he and phil were outed by a youtube glitch that leaked an extremely personal video in 2011 that leaked again on a broader scale about a year later. being outed was a part of the bullying dan had experienced so this was retraumatizing but on a bigger scale.

they had had SOME level of plausable deniability regarding their relationship before the leak, but hadn't been very actively closeting themselves before that point? and then the leak happened around when they were blowing up in popularity/around when youtube was becoming a viable career, so they were already grappling with sudden fame & a lot of other things happening in their lives at the time.

dan was 20 and phil was 24 the first time that video leaked; they were 21 and 25 and living in an apartment they couldn't afford on their own hoping the bbc would hire them (they did) the second time it did. it makes sense that they came down hard & firmly closeted themselves, especially dan, especially with what he's shared of his personal experiences.

2012-13 was the peak closet, but by 2015 they were already being more open—that's the first couple's trip they went on again after active closeting started. they've just become more and more open from there, but the peak closet era was so definitive that the public perception of them as not a couple WILL NOT SHIFT until they directly express that they are a couple.

they ARE out to fans as a couple, and imo have been since before they came out individually. they've said things along the lines of "we know you know" multiple times.

why not be definitive about their relationship status when they came out? it would've overshadowed them coming out as individuals and they didn't want that. it will be MASSIVE news when they hard launch their relationship. they went ambiguous with it on purpose in 2019 and succeeded.

so. to circle back to your questions.

why bother hiding their relationship? they haven't really since coming out. they've been living freely and being open about that in whatever ways are comfortable to them. they took some time out of the public eye for a while and i'm glad they got to have that so they could explore what happiness looks like without feeling the need to perform. but it was also something that was intentionally temporary!

at this point in time when they call each other friends or roommates etc they're fully doing a bit. like. it's funny! and it's funny at our expense which makes it even funnier—it's their turn to put us through some shit, you know? & the joke is more on people who AREN'T familiar with them than anyone else at this point. it's nice being in on things with them.

why hide sharing a bedroom? they haven't really since moving into their forever home! they have a bedroom and a guest room and there's a murphy bed in phil's filming space/personal office.

phil at some point made a comment that the murphy bed is for if they have two guests over at the same time—something that will only really read as "they share a bedroom" to people keeping track of rooms in their house.

i don't think that they share a bed they sleep in 100% of the time. which is like, normal and healthy? being able to sleep in a different bed when you want/need is NICE i've known so many people who keep seperate rooms in committed relationships and if i was rich enough i'd love having two bedrooms with beds in them in my relationship. even if we'd mostly sleep in the same place.

i also think having multiple beds means dan and phil can have freak sex in one and be lazy about clean up bc they have other beds so that's. a plus for them too.

but like. yeah. i think it's less that they're hiding that they share a bedroom and more that they share a bedroom but have better boundaries with their audience at this point—there stopped being video liveshows after they came out and they'd stopped doing liveshows from their actual bedroom when they moved in to the separate apartment situation.

+ the separate apartment situation was ONLY ever meant to be short term, & was a solution to the situation before that, when every room was in videos and it permanently felt like they were living in sets.

why hide couple holidays? they haven't since before coming out! they also go on a lot of double dates.

no sorries on the confusion and thank you for the chance to infodump!

[11queensupreme11]

and you know I love it

Poor Cu, Percilla is so much stress for him.

It's not that hard. Let the humans and demigods just die!

Percilla:" No!"

Cu:" If I kill everyone here... you can't be in danger."

Sally who killed her husband and his friends for Percy and hee:" I mean he isn't wrong."

cu:" she gets it...no wonder Poseidon did you. But you have Terrible taste."

Cu wants to return home to RoR, same time it was love who made him stay in PJ world.

Cu is even a genius! He knows Percilla would try to return him or not be immortal like him. So he tricked sally to eat the golden apple/ambrosia. = She is divine/immortal.

if Her mom is immortal Percilla won't complain

nah this would actually piss BOTH sally and percy off, but it's also very on brand for him to be this selfish and uncaring 💀

and i also love the idea of percy trying to find him a way back home and actually succeeding only for him to like... shove her into the bifrost before joining her 😭

ACTUALLY WAIT you know what would be funnier??? since in this au cu chulainn and percy live together and grew up together, what if she BROTHER-ZONES HIM 💀💀💀💀💀

this is like all those times in canon where percy misinterprets all of anthonius' signals in the first series and just goes "yeah, anthonius is a great friend :) i love him very much :) as a friend ofc :) because he clearly only likes me as a friend too :)" BUT SO MUCH WORSE CUZ SHE'S BROTHER ZONING POOR CU 💀

[brucewaynehater101]

Okay, I saw the Jack Drake is Ra's al Ghul's child au and I feel the intense urge to add onto it-

Okay, so you know how in Red Robin, ra's offers to help with the brucequest if Tim helped him in return? What if him asking for help was a test for Tim? He found out about Tim's parentage and, remembering how useless Jack was, wanted to see if Tim had the potential and skills that Jack so painfully lacked? And when he succeeded, that's why Ra's was trying to recruit him afterwards? He wanted his grandson, the one he doesn't consider a failure (idk if he hates Dami or no in this au unfortunately) and have him be his heir, like what Jack would have been if he wasn't a failure?

This could bring so much angst but also crack to the table-

This also depends on how bad of a person Ra's is. However, I think it would be funnier from a miscommunication standpoint of Ra's wanting to hang out with his grandsons and support them.

Did he abandon Jack? Yes. Jack is Jack, though, and he was probably better off being raised by someone else.

Both of his grandkids are already sucked into this life and are somewhat decent descendants. The second bit is for sure a coincidence.

Anyways, Ra's is convincing himself he's a concerned grandparent all while Tim has no clue why this creepy ass old man is so interested in him (cue miscommunication especially if Ra's doesn't understand current slang. The two of them keep misunderstanding what the other is saying).

Just a ton of crack there that morphs into angst (Tim and Damian relationship angst, Damian feeling replaced, and Tim thinking that Ra's [his grandfather] only wants to get to know him cause he's useful).

[girlwithwolftatoo]

Can I request jumpscaring or attempting to jump scare the moon boys? I think if you actually succeeded in jumpscaring Jake he would be proud of you but like so upset with himself for getting jumpscared

For some reason I enjoy jumpscaring as a joke. Some people find it not innofensive enough but bah...

Moon boys + reader jumpscaring them

Steven Grant:

How dare you to scare the sweetest boyTM? Besides that, maybe jumping from behind the statue of Sobek, who reminds him of a certain crocodile lady would be enough...

It works... perhaps better than you expected. Poor Steven literally jumps and he's so freaked out he makes the Mr Knight suit appear.

"Oh no no Steven, take that off!" you rush him before someone sees him. He'll stare at you during some seconds, figuring out what just happened.

Steven has a very strict rule about jokes, he's not a big fan of pranks since he considers them a socially accepted manner to bully people. But, well, it was you who did it, so he's not as bothered as he would.

"Wasn't funny (Y/N)" he nags you, but will recover soon and, in fact, he's smiling just to let you know he forgives you.

Jake Lockley:

Usually he's the one that scares you. There's a hint of pleasure in making you gasp anytime he approaches from behind and wraps your arms around you (there was this time he gagged you with a hand before getting in an alley for a very intense make out session), so he considers you an innocent little butterfly...

Well he shouldn't have underestimated you, because when you finally got him, he went so wild he shouted without embarrasment "¡AY CABRÓN, CHINGA TU MADRE!" (a very flexible expression that can be roughly understood as "Holy shit my fucking God!")

You come out, laughing at his face, not believing something that simple would actually work. Once he sees this was only you, he shouts some more spanglish phrases to show how affected he was ("Chingado, bonita, almost crapped myself!")

But he laughs too. He's, as you said, proud and surprise to finding you can be really mean, in a playful manner, towards him.

Anyways, don't think you'll come clean. He'll make sure you... pay for your little game. But don't worry, Jake knows how to make you scream... and not just by horror.

Marc Spector:

This man has enough traumas for a couple of lives, and maybe playing a joke like this to him isn't easy. Luckily, he's full of surprises, and you managed not only to get a weak and harmless spot to play with him, but also to prepare it in such a way he would never suspect it.

He also screams, but not as exxagerated as Jake and naturally not as freaked out as Steven. His scream is a short, sharp one, and you can see he turns back with an expression of disconcern and waste, as if he noticed quick this was just a joke and can't believe it.

While you come out of your hidden place, laughing, he stares at you with a silent "Are you for real?" glare, which makes the situation even funnier.

"Oh yeah, so funny, keep laughing" he grunts. He's not angry, it's just he considers this pranks as something childish and can't believe you, of any other person he knows, could take time to prepare this prank for him.

There's a chance he'll return you the favor, just to whisper in your ear after you screamed, "What, not so funny when it happens to you?" (all this while a mischiveous chuckle forms on his lips).

[yanderes-galore]

Yandere hybrid twins? Would they be conjoined since their both part Zippleback. . . But them x reader :>

Httyd

I suppose this AU didn't have enough body horror, huh? Sorry for the long wait... here's some HCs. It's mostly just me playing around with the idea.

Yandere! Zippleback Hybrid! Twins Concept

(Ruffnut and Tuffnut)

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Body horror, Manipulation, Possessive/Protective behavior, Stalking, Violence, Murder implied (On accident), Kidnapping, Mentions of hermaphroditism, Dubious companionship/relationship.

Honestly, no matter how I look at this, they would have to be conjoined, wouldn’t they?

Both of them share a body due to being a Zippleback hybrid.

I don't really have an official design in mind... but it's probably disturbing.

They no doubt have the abilities of a normal Zippleback.

They have the sparking ability, they have the gas ability, and they're volatile in ability and emotions.

Like normal Zipplebacks they often fight with one another.

I also imagine taming them would be similar to the original dragon, too.

Perhaps like the Hiccup hybrid fic... you save them from being hunted?

Which you know what that means... life debt.

Until they can return the favor... they'd both be obsessive about you, even as a hybrid.

They'd be loyal towards you.

Even more so if you provide them with attention and/or they view you as a mate.

I imagine the twins are an interesting case.

Their heads retain their genders.

So I imagine they as a hybrid are... what's the word... a hermaphrodite?

Do with that info as you will.

They are probably the oddest hybrid I can think of in this AU.

Well... any Zippleback hybrid would be, actually....

You probably came across them injured, the two bickering bitterly with one another as they try to fly again.

When you reveal yourself, a normal human... they panic.

Are you going to hunt them!?

They can easily nuke this area, don't come any closer!

Yet... you don't harm them.

Instead you offer food and try to get close enough to offer supplies.

Well... after that the two can't seem to leave their new human alone.

Honestly... conversation is a bit weird at first, but you begin to see them as an ally of some sort.

You learn the female head is named Ruffnut and the male head is named Tuffnut.

They are a unique Zippleback hybrid with mischievous tendencies.

They see you as a friend since you helped them.

In fact, it's in their nature to be loyal towards you... all due to what you've done for them.

Despite them being classified as "intersex", they can still see you as a mate if you want.

I find it funny if both head have two different opinions of you.

Maybe one views you as a friend while the other wants to court you?

Awkward, isn't it?

Even funnier if only one of them wags their tail.

I imagine they'd be fiercely protective and possessive of you, often squabbling with one another on what to do for you to show they care.

You're given fish as a gift... often.

That and they stare down other hybrids, humans, and dragons....

They're like (sometimes stupid) bodyguards.

You can never have a,conversation with one head, the other is always there.

For example, maybe one of them is courting you... and the other just likes to sabotage them.

It's... all a chaotic mess, really.

Since they hate leaving your side, even if you ordered it, they'd stalk you.

They're big too, so it isn't like they're going to hide very well.

The two may kidnap you... but it's very dysfunctional.

Eventually they may trap you in a cave, alone from others, but they're still bickering.

It's luck they even succeeded.

They fight over your attention but can sometimes work with one another.

The whole hybrid is a chaotic mess... just like them normally.

In terms of would they kill? They could.

Their abilities are explosive... set them off and someone's in trouble.

They'd attack to protect you... but may accidentally cause someone's demise in the process.

Overall, these Ruffnut and Tuffnut would bicker but be as loyal as any other Zippleback...

Which soon proves to be problematic to you and your freedom.

[rynnthefangirl]

Aegon IV >>> Aegon II

1. He’s funnier.

2. We all agree he sucks and nobody is out here unironically trying to defend his r*pist ass.

3. His fans are funny instead of insufferable.

4. Lived twice as long and ruled six times as long.

5. Wanted to be a shitty king and succeeded vs wanted to be a good king but failed miserably bc he really really sucked at everything.

6. Had infinitely cooler children.

7. Actually continued on the Targaryen dynasty instead of his entire bloodline dying off.

8. Got the last laugh and was still winning even in death vs poisoned by his own council and dying alone and hopeless.

9. Knew how to be absolutely awful without starting a civil war in his life time that would get him dethroned and killed.

10. Mad lad living his best life instead of being burnt and miserable 24/7.

11. Iconic.

[blueikeproductions]

Alright let’s not beat around the bush: the Pecharunt event was hacked into activation, people are playing it. Bulbapedia knows it, Serebii knows it, Game Freak knows it, you know it, let’s just get on with it.

Anyone expecting a more involved story with how the peach guy ties into Okidogi’s group will be bummed because it doesn’t do that. It’s basically an Ultra Beast plot straight out of the SuMo anime: an unknown Pokémon screws around by feeding people Mocchi which makes them do the chicken dance, and Ash and co have to shove it in a Beast Ball to get it to stop. (Funny enough the play through I watched used a Beast Ball). In context, Pecharunt doesn’t appear to be doing anything malevolent, making its connection to Okidogi’s crimes a bit questionable. I guess what I take away is it fed them thinking it was helping the trio, but the dim witted trio snapped and went to commit crimes, leaving Pecharunt to go “Oh SNAP! O:”

I imagine the intent was to have a goofy side story to lighten the mood after the Indigo Disk, but I dunno, it still doesn’t feel right, especially for what is, as of typing, the final entry in Scarlet and Violet’s game story.

Since it feels like a plot for Ash, I leaned hard into it on my end. After getting Shiny Terapagos, Team Rocket bonds with it and decides to go get some Mocchi to celebrate… Unfortunately they become possessed by Pecharunt, who reawakened around the same time as Okidogi’s group did. Unlike the games, this version is more openly malicious, and it seeks to take over Kitakami. Apparently in ancient times, Pecharunt was the one responsible for creating the war between the Four Treasures and the Loyal Three, pitting both against each other to see who would be best for its benefit. (As it happened, Lucius’ Six Heroes were also involved towards the end, and helped seal away Pecharunt and the Treasures in the temples Team Ash, Team Explorer and Team Rocket found the later in on Paldea.) In the modern day, when the Treasures were defeated once more, it proved to be Ash, Iono, Alfie, Team Rocket and the Loyal Three. Team Rocket succeeding in capturing Terapagos, the entity responsible for Terastalization, wound up being a huge bonus to Pecharunt.

Kieran, who didn’t drink the Kool-Aid, tries to warn Ash and the others, but Ash, Pikachu, and Iono get infected also, leaving Alfie, Kieran, Fezandipiti and Briar unaffected, and the only ones left who can stop Pecharunt’s army.

Can Alfie and the others stand up to the World Champion and Pecharunt’s onslaught?

Rather than the chicken dance, I thought it’d be funnier if Ash’s group instead referenced the dances from Overman King Gainer and Lucky Star.

[slotumn]

I think one of the underrated/underutilized things about Byleth's political position in 3H is that if they wanted, they probably could have couped the lords at some point post-TS.

Just consider: they have the legitimacy (Crest of Flames), they have the military prowess (both 1v1 and as a commander), and according to canon, they have the charisma to win people over.

On top of that, the leadership/authority situations in the routes are: Empire keeps Byleth being a commander over Eagles on the down low as to not undermine Edelgard's authority, Dimitri is feral and barely functioning as a leader for a good while, and Claude literally raises Byleth's flag instead of the Alliance's as he goes into war. Byleth may as well have gotten coup motivations/opportunities on a silver platter, and if someone else was in that position I think they probably would have taken it.

And I know the canon angle for why Byleth didn't do something like that is that they're nice and care for their students, but personally I think it's much funnier if they 1. did consider it at some point 2. looked again and realized the government they'd have to rule over once the coup succeeded is a clusterfuck 3. decided it wasn't worth it, after all.

Like yeah let Edelgard/Dimitri/Claude deal with the Agarthans and western lords and the Roundtable. Let them deal with their own government's bureaucratic hell. Trying to win a war against other nations is stressful enough, fuck doing domestic politics on top of all that. The tax evasion fiasco in Lord Bitchassen's territory Not Byleth's Problem, and they're going to keep it that way. Good for them.

(Byleth eventually has to deal with all that in SS or VW, but at least it's after the war is over)

Alternatively, canon divergence AU where Byleth does do a coup and go "my show now" would also be sexy

[professorsparklepants]

welcome to fanfic I won't write fridays, where I talk about fanfic I won't write

happy dragon age 4 to those who celebrate it's time to put all my "pevensie siblings isekai'd into dragon age pcs" thoughts in one post

peter is the inquisitor; i considered lucy for this but she's more what the inquisition wants you to appear to be (a divine prophet protecting the people) rather than what you actually are (the head of a military organization with fingers in politics and heavy religious propaganda

edmund is the champion of kirkwall; the entire point of da2 is that everything is in shades of grey and there are no right answers, and edmund is painted as the most familiar with moral ambiguity and the most forgiving of it

lucy is the grey warden originally through process of elimitation but being dropped in a dying world, told there's a near futile mission to hold back the decay that's eating the continent, and not only facing it whole heartedly but succeeding so well you have time to run off and try to cure it yourself with no backup is EXTREMELY lucy behavior

susan is "sir not appearing in this film (until dragon age 4 comes out)"

all four of them land around the same time. lucy gets wrapped up in the origins plot immediately, and da2 happens mostly simultaneously iirc so so is edmund. peter is biding time doing the qunari mercenary backstory until da:i starts. susan is also biding her time but by clawing her way up the local social hierarchy.

DRAGON AGE: ORIGINS

lucy is a mage with the spirit healer specialization, but based on her canon weapon use i think also has traces of the arcane warrior.

duncan literally finds her by the side of the road and goes "hey kid you wanna fight darkspawn." lucy asks if they're evil and he says yes so she signs up immediately. a simple woman.

she absolutely makes the full party her bisexual polycule. yes even the unromancable ones. i have faith in her.

morrigan: i'm straight lucy: for now.

leliana is her favorite but don't tell anyone.

lucy adores mabari. absolutely nothing in thedas is more narnian than the mabari. when she meets her siblings again they are all going to be so fucking jealous that she has one.

lucy doesn't make alistair king because he seems like he's kind of bad at it and i think she can sniff that out. my sister is of the opinion that lucy would make him king and then marry him bc she knows she would do a good job. i think she only said this because she finds it funny.

however i do think lucy would convince alistair to do the ritual because she sees absolutely nothing wrong with him having sex with a woman he hates who turns into a giant spider sometimes.

lucy, has attended dozens of bacchanalia: who hasn't slept with someone they dislike while under the effects of magic? all her companions: where did you say you were from again?

she does absolutely kill loghain though because a. all the shit he did is deserving of an execution, b. edmund isn't here to stop her, and c. alistair threatens to quit if she doesn't and despite having a mabari he's her emotional support animal

DRAGON AGE 2

i couldn't decide if edmund was a mage or a warrior but i decided it would be funnier if he were both, because it has such hawke energy. you surpress his magic? he has a sword. you disarm him? he has a fireball!

i don't know what warrior specialization i would pick for him, but he's definitely a force mage

i think edmund literally falls out of a portal and saves bethany/carver's life so the hawkes just decide to adopt him. he's theirs now. leandra just full on lies and says he's her son. what the fuck is her brother gonna do about it.

edmund walks into the den of sin and darkness that is kirkwall, sighs, and rolls up his sleeves to get to work. he is going to make this city a better place one back alley brawl at a fucking time. try him.

edmund romances anders because he has "i only date disasters/i can fix him" vibes and i think it's funny for him to be a former sovereign whose boyfriend is a wanted terrorist.

but also the da2 polycule IS real edmund is just not dating everyone at once. he's busy and also i hc him as only into men. imagine what you want though this isn't a real fic.

sorry the image of edmund just pspspspspsps-ing all of his sad, angry, morally grey companions into being friends is so fucking funny to me. local man brainwashed by evil as a child is too full of love and the belief in second chances to say no to a blood mage, guy who is willingly possessed at all times, escaped slave who lives in a mansion full of rotting corpses, a cop, and a romance novelist who keeps stealing your life story.

DRAGON AGE: INQUISITION

peter has the qunari mercenary backstory, and is absolutely a warrior build. probably champion build?

also i think he romances cassandra. i considered josephine but that's more a susan romance. if peter were into men that way he'd be all over iron bull and he says as much after a couple drinks.

peter, cornering cullen after their first war meeting: you haven no military experience do you. cullen: please don't tell anyone. i need this job.

he takes one look at solas and goes "oh this guy is not normal. idk what his deal is but this is some kind of oak god at least."

varric doesn't know edmund and peter are siblings until edmund shows up and he is INCREDIBLY offended by it. what do you MEAN i've been calling you hawke for years and it's not even your fucking name. the BETRAYAL.

edmund: my ex-boyfriend blew up the chantry and started the mage/templar war peter: HEY DORIAN, MY HONORABLE GOOD FRIEND WHO IS GAY, HAVE YOU MET MY VERY GAY BROTHER

"well his family owns slaves that's enough of a project for Edmund"

you know the table mission where the warden send you a letter? instead of that i think lucy just turns around and immediately heads back to thedas. THAT'S HER FUCKIN BROTHER!!!!!!!! she shows up after edmund does obviously for maximum "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!!!!" drama

[scene: all three pevensies are roaring drunk in skyhold and casting members of the inquisition as Narnian creatures] Peter: I think Solas is a centaur. He's wise, respectful, and vaguely condescending. Lucy: [sniggering bc she clocked Solas] I think he's a wolf. Edmund: I think he's a marshwiggle. [Peter and Lucy absolutely lose it]

Lucy, halfway through stumbling back to her room: WAIT. DORIAN IS A PEACOCK. Peter, three floors up: [ugly donkey noise]

DRAGON AGE: VEILGUARD

obviously there's nothing 2 say about this yet

however i will say for certain that if there's a noble human background i'll be giving it to susan

idc that she literally got portal fantasy'd into this world. she's pretty and socially dangerous she wormed her way in there. she's got those diplomatic social climber stats.

she's also a rogue, no question.

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

I miss the moaning comps :[

i think its funnier to imagine 1 person sent both these asks

Anyway, regarding the comps. I'M SORRYY I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING NEW TO POST.... Most of what I do have has been posted already, and the whimpers are just tiny parts of larger clips. Even if I put em all together it would be really short.

You can take a scroll through the #suggestive tag. That's pretty much all I've got.

It is up to the requesters to cause another sussy noises incident. I believe in you guys.

And for the second ask, there's... there's a few of those.

You would have to be more specific. but I'm glad. That means this account is succeeding in its task of living in your head rent free. :]

[chaoticstabby]

I don't know what would be funnier: Essek and Caleb went back specifically to get the gem and succeeded, or Bell's Hells comes across it in their journey and Essek gets all huffy about it

[thego-through]

I'm not sure what would be funnier, Scar making a V for Vendettaesque persona and trying to destroy the permit office cause of Grian 'wasting" his time and either failing or succeeding to do so. Or Grian being the one to make a V for Vendettaesque persona out of the sheer fact cause it'd be funny and he usually goes after goverments and somehow failing