#but that picture brought me back to 2014

[vampiredulac]

so i'm still in my dan and phil era how about you

[taylorswiftstyle]

2024 Golden Globe Awards | Los Angeles, CA | January 7, 2024

Gucci gown

Let it be known my Roman Empire is painted a shade of aurora borealis green. 

I’m biased. I love it. You’re buckling up for a rave. But everyone knew that, right? 

I want it on record that no one should be surprised when they see this lewk on the TSS Favourite Outfits of 2024 list. And that I’ll devise some maniacal strategy to make it make sense to include in every annual list from here to eternity.

Let's get the obvious out of the way in that this shade of green could easily be interpreted as very snakelike and thus a nod to reputation and its forthcoming re-recorded version. I'd even happily apply it to the teal-y and springlike green of debut if we want to go debutation on this.

But if we are to talk about Gucci we have to talk about the precipice the house is upon right now. As it relates to Taylor, I suspect her dress (specific shade TBD - Chartreuse? Apple? Pear? Some other adjacent fruit that’s a feast for my eyes?) is a preview of Fall 2024 and a clear indicator of the path the new creative director Sabato De Sarno’s will take the brand in. Which is to say, muting the eccentricity of Alessandro Michele’s era of Gucci that brought the brand to a new level of renown in favour of something cleaner and sexier. Nicole Phelps for Vogue already noted that De Sarno’s first collection for Gucci — Spring 2024’s Ancora, meaning ‘again’ in English and released in September — evokes a Gucci when Tom Ford was once at the helm, praising De Sarno’s approach to “the upfront sex appeal of those ’60s-by-way-of-the-’90s shapes, and straight riffs on Ford hits” while “establish[ing De Sarno’s] essentials, focusing on cut and proportion, and repeating shapes for emphasis.”

Indeed, Taylor’s gown is directly reminiscent of a Fall 2004 look from Ford’s Gucci - all green sparkles and sexy disco energy. This makes sense when we consider De Sarno’s history and homeworking when he decided to take the creative director post. He told WWD, “Gucci to me equals luxury … the first fashion piece I ever owned was a Gucci jacket by Tom Ford. I still remember I traveled to Rome to buy it with my friend … luxury was really not part of our world. Television was the only way to see fashion for me back then.” He added, “My ambition is to build an aesthetic message with an edited collection that is mindful of Gucci’s heritage and close to my own aesthetics.”

When we consider my personal history with Taylor and Gucci, I don’t have to look very far to immediately picture one of my all time favourite Taylor looks — the 2014 Grammys when she wore a sparkling Gucci Première column gown which is not too dissimilar to this one. What can I say, I’m consistent. The shape, the perfect kiss-the-floor hemming, and obviously the divine colour that really pops on Taylor will have me swooning for a long time. 

At the end of it all, what I come back to is De Sarno’s sentimentality to naming his first collection: Ancora. Again. He told WWD, “Ancora is a word that you use when your desire is not over yet … I want to fall in love with fashion all over again — ancora.” In the same interview he said, “I like words a lot, they have weight and a precise meaning, they convey emotions, so I like artists who use words.” 

It dawns on me that Taylor’s light is shining at its brightest now as she highlights, celebrates, and - indeed - falls in love with all the versions of herself she has ever been. Revisiting her eras past again. And again. In every re-record. In every step she takes on stage. In every cutting line she writes in ruminating and revisiting the experiences of her life and translating them into song. She’s flitting, flirting, memorializing all her past selves in celebration of their summation of her current self. And that’s what this ‘era of eras’ has been. 

So if this is De Sarno’s Gucci I say welcome. Ancora. 

Photos by Monica Schipper/GA and Amy Sussman via Getty Images

[builtbybrokenbells]

Melodic Memories | JTK | Prologue

In a tattered old box shoved deep down in the corner of an overfilled closet, a lifetimes worth of memories lie dormant at the bottom waiting to be rediscovered.

Masterlist

Playlist: Apple Music | Spotify

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!reader

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: breakups, feelings of sadness, crying, high school relationships, angst, fluff, sorry if i miss any!

welcome to the show, everyone 😁 glad to be back with another Jake fic. as always, enjoy, be kind, and don’t mind any grammar mistakes! (this has been sitting in my drafts for SO long)

August, 2014

“Eight songs, Y/N. I sat there for hours, listening to as much music as I could. I sorted through my dad’s old vinyl records, and all of the CD’s Josh and I could find in the house. I searched for lyrics on the internet, I even asked my mom if she had any ideas.” Jake explained, taking a step closer to you. There was a small plastic case in one of his hands, a bushel of hand picked wildflowers in his other, and a look in his eyes that made your heart ache with all of the pain you had been holding back. “This is it; eight songs that tell you exactly how I feel about you. Four that tell you how much I love you, and four that tell you everything you need to know about how I feel about you leaving.”

“Jake,” you whispered, your lips pressed together tightly as the corners of your mouth dipped down into a frown. Your eyes were shining under the warm yellow hue of the ceiling light, the threat of unshed tears growing more imminent with each second that passed. The walls of your childhood bedroom were familiar, but completely different all at the same time. Years worth of cherished memories flashed before your eyes as the boy stood before you amongst half-filled boxes and your torn-apart closet.

“No,” he cut you off, shaking his head so you could not speak any further.

His hair was long, moving against his skin with each turn of his head. It reached the middle of his neck now, and it would only get longer as he continued to grow it out. You couldn’t help but feel that the long hair suited him best, that it brought out the beauty of his face even more than it already did on its own. He’d been talking about it for so long that you could already picture what it would look like on him. You were sad that you would not be able to see it when his mission was complete and the ends of his hair tickled the underside of his shoulder blades.

No, you were sad that you would miss any stage of Jake’s life, devastated that there would be any version of him you were unfamiliar with.

The sweatshirt he was wearing was heartbreaking all on its own; you bought it for him months prior on your three day trip to tour the university you were now preparing to attend. There were bags under his eyes, showing his exhaustion and discomfort with the current arrangement the two of you found yourselves in. His eyes themselves were bloodshot, and worse than that, they were sad. You hated seeing anything less than joy written in his features, because he was a boy deserving of things that were only ever good.

Right now, you knew that what you were doing to him was anything but good, and it was fucking killing you.

You only ever wanted to be the reason for the smile on his face, and now you were the source of his misery; you loved him so utterly and deeply that you turned into the very thing that hurt him.

“You said you didn’t want to make this harder than it needed to be, but it’s going to fucking suck no matter how we do things. I can’t let you leave without telling you—“ he cut himself off, clearing his throat as his gaze flickered to the floor. There were tears glistening in his eyes, too, but he was much more afraid to show them than you were. “I can’t let you go unless I know that you know how much you mean to me.”

“It is hard, Jake. This is the hardest thing I have ever done.” You confessed, sniffling away your sadness as you tried to cement the memory of his face in your brain forever. He was beautiful, and he always had been. His warm eyes spoke love without him ever opening his mouth, and his smile was the only thing that could brighten the darkest of days.

“The whole distance thing is stupid, and I don’t like it. We’ve been together for three years, and I can’t sit at home and act like you don’t mean anything to me.” His words were equal to a stab in the stomach.

You did not intend to hurt him when you suggested taking some time away from each other. You thought it would be easier, that it would make your departure less painful as you both came to terms with the fact you would be leaving him behind, but so far it had been nothing but horrendous. You stayed up every night, staring at the ceiling as you remembered what it felt like to lay next to him. You listened to new music, hoping it would make you feel something other than sadness, but the emotion that plagued you grew tenfold when you realized you had no one to share it with. You checked your phone constantly, hoping to see his name grace your screen, only to find that he was too good at respecting your wishes.

Jake was your boyfriend, and it had been that way for a long time, but he was so much more than just that. He was your best friend, your confidant and the very thing you knew you could lean on in times that were tougher than usual. He was your light in darkness, and he was everything you ever needed all at once. Jake was the whole world, and in that moment, he was yours. As of late, you felt more stupid than ever before, unable to forgive yourself for letting him go. He loved you through the awkwardness of growing into a teenager, and he loved you through the usual triumphs and disasters of high school. He loved you when you thought no one else could, and he did it so well that you had no idea what to expect now that he was not going to be yours anymore.

He stood before you, freshly eighteen with a new found freedom in life. You were just shy of the same age, but the freedom you found did not feel very special at all. You expected your high school graduation to be sweet, exciting and fun, but so far it brought you nothing but turmoil. You scored top of your class and had people throwing scholarships in your face. As much as you wanted to enjoy it, you couldn’t seem to find any joy in the experience. You tried to blame it on your nerves as you spent the summer preparing to drive states away to attend a university that you had only visited once, but you knew it had nothing to do with that. You were thrilled to continue your studies, to pursue something that you had spent your life dreaming about. You were excited to meet people, to grow into the person you were always meant to be.

It was not the school that made your stomach twist with nerves, but the knowledge Jake would not be coming with you. It was the knowledge that after three years, you would have to learn to live without him by your side, and worst of all, you had to digest the fact that he would move on. In due time, his heart and the love he once gave to you would be someone else’s, and he would be happy again, without ever having a second thought about you.

No matter where Jake went, you knew he would flourish, that he would find someone that would love him just as much, if not more, than you loved him.

That thought was comforting as much as it was gut wrenching. Jake deserved to be loved, but you wished you were the person who could love him the way he deserved.

What hurt just a little worse than that was the passing thought that you would never find someone who would love you the way Jake loved you.

You had done everything with him up until two weeks prior, when you pleaded with him to give you some space so you could grieve the fact your relationship would be coming to an end. You did not cut off contact completely, and in that time, you had called him almost daily and payed short visits to his house every now and again. You wanted it to make you feel better, but all it did was make the ache of missing him grow even larger despite him still being there when you needed him. You knew that when you got in your car the next morning, it would be the definite end of the two of you, but it did not mean you were happy, and you were certainly not okay with it.

If missing him while he was still beside you hurt achingly bad, you could not imagine the pain that would come as you drove away from the only thing you ever wanted to have.

The two of you discussed the topic heavily over the last few months, finding yourselves in a great debate of whether long distance would work for the two of you. Eventually, after many tears and lots of sad, sleepless nights, the two of you decided that it would be best to let the loving relationship you had created remain a memory. He didn’t want you worrying about him while you were focusing on your studies, and you didn’t want to tie him down while he tried to make his own life at home.

Although the two of you agreed on the terms, it hurt like a bitch.

“I’m sorry, Jake.” You whispered, your bottom lip quivering as you tried to express your remorse. “I didn’t know how else to deal with it.”

“Just listen to what I have to say, and then you can deal with it however you want.” He tried again, still staying strong despite the pain growing larger in his heart.

“Okay.” You whispered, giving a slight nod as you stepped back and took a seat on the edge of your bed. He followed suit, stopping by your dresser to place the sparse bushel of wildflowers down as he approached you.

He took a seat beside you, extending his arm for you to take the CD. Slowly, you grabbed it from his hands, a slight shake to your fingers as they clasped around the cool, hard plastic. You looked down at the white surface through the clear cover, feeling the first tear fall from your eye. In the familiar, scribbled handwriting, a love note more romantic than any other littered the surface of the CD.

‘I can’t tell you how I feel, so I’ll let the songs say it instead. All my love, Jake ᥫ᭡’

“Wild Horses, Rolling Stones.” He started, watching your face as he spoke. “You told me when we started dating that your dad used to sing it to your mom, and you thought it was the most romantic song in the world until they got divorced. You said that you hated it, and you would never be able to listen to it again, and I could tell that you were so sad about it. So, I sang it to you. I wanted to turn it back into a good memory. I learned the chords and I used my dads old acoustic guitar, and I was fucking terrified, Y/N. It was the first song I ever played for you, and you told me that nobody had ever done anything so nice for you before.”

“‘Cause nobody ever had.” You said, the sentiment still remaining true to this day.

“Wonderful Tonight, by Eric Clapton.” He continued, knowing his time was running short. The evening was darkening into night, and he wasn’t keen on spending your last bit of time together solely talking. “We slow danced in the kitchen to that song, ‘cause I told you I didn’t know how to dance and I didn’t want to embarrass myself at prom. You let me pick the song and then you taught me how, and I think of you every time I hear it.”

The memory was as beautiful as the song was, and you felt another tear fall at the explanation. You had no idea how you were going to let him go, and no desire to do it, anyway, even if you knew it was for the best.

“I need you, Lynyrd Skynyrd. Pretty self explanatory.” He let out a small chuckle, which you joined in on. “The Air That I Breathe, The Hollies.” He jumped straight to the next track. “Listen to the words, and you’ll get it.”

“Jake, this is too much.” You took in a shaky breath, swiping tears away from your cheeks.

“No, Y/N. It’s not enough.” He corrected. “You deserve the whole world, and I wish I could give it to you.”

“You’re not making this any easier.” You forced a smile on your face, your cheeks damp with your own misery. He reached out, swiping away the tears as they fell, hoping that by some stroke of luck, he would still be yours even long after you had gone.

“It was never going to be easy, beautiful.” He finally said the words he’d been holding back the whole time. He had tried his hardest to convince you that it would be okay, hoping that in turn, he would convince himself, too. Now that he was sitting beside you, still just as sad, he knew easy was subject, and only time would heal the wounds that were created that night. “If You Gotta Go, Go Now, by Dylan.”

“Or Else You Gotta Stay All Night.” Your lips turned upwards into a small smile. It wouldn’t be from Jake had there not been at least one Dylan song on the track.

“Exactly.” He nodded. “Ain’t No Sunshine by Bill Withers, cause I know it’s gonna be pretty dark for a while after you leave, Sunshine.”

“Don’t say that.” You said, feeling your stomach twist with remorse.

“It’s true.” He argued. “Romeo and Juliet by Dire Straits, ‘cause maybe it’s just the time that’s not right for us.” His voice was quiet, cracking as he forced the words out, like he was fearful to get an unwanted answer to his rhetoric. “Maybe in the future, the time will be right, and we can try again.”

“God, I hope so.” You confessed, the tears making a rapid return. The more he spoke, the more real the entire thing felt. For years, you had brushed the topic off, forcing yourself to believe that senior year and university was so far away, but now that it was staring you in the face, making it impossible to see past it, you realized the time had flew by like nothing at all. You didn’t want to leave him, because he was the only thing you ever wanted. The idea of having him again in the future made the ache ease ever so slightly, but knowing that the whole middle part would suck made the relief insignificant.

“And the last one is We’ve Got Tonight by Bob Segar, ‘cause we do, sunshine. We have one more night to love each other, and I’ll be damned if I waste it. So here I am, with eight songs and some flowers that I found in my backyard, asking you if you’ll let me love you until you leave tomorrow. It doesn’t have to hurt right now, and we don’t have to let it hurt worse than it has to.”

“Okay,” you breathed, little argument left in you. If he wanted to love you, you weren’t stupid enough to turn him away. Tomorrow, when the sun rose in the sky, illuminating the mistakes you made and highlighting your successes, you would deal with the inevitable disappointment that came along with losing him, but you didn’t have to start yet. At that moment, you still had him, and you wanted to savour the feeling of Jake Kiszka being yours for as long as you could.

“Okay?” He asked, almost shocked at your lack of rebuttal.

“Okay, Jake. We’ve got tonight, so let’s make it last.”

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

04/24/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; Rhys/TheCryptid Factor; Vico Ortiz; Nathan Foad; Kristian Nairn; Samba Schutte; Jes Tom; Kay Buchanan; Guz Khan; Uproar on Digital; MerMay; Watch Party Reminders; Fan Spotlight; Mini Love Notes; Daily Darby/Today's Taika

Hey lovelies! Sorry for the delay-- I know you say not to worry if there's a delay and I try not to but last night was particularly frustrating because I got most of the recap done, but then worked 14 hours in between that and fell asleep without actually hitting finishing up and hitting send! Anyway, bit late but here it is :)

​PS: Shoutout to the lovely @/MerakiRetreat for saving my butt the other day from a horrible auto correct error! You are a rockstar! Thank you so much!

== Rhys Darby / Cryptid Factor ==

There's a Cryptid Factor Tiktok now! He's out covering the Flamethrowing robot dog! If you have Tiktok, feel free to visit the link below, if you don't, I'm attaching the video here as well, but please, if you have tiktok, definitely go there to watch and interract so Rhys and TCF folks can feel the love :) The Cryptid Factor Tiktok

== Vico Ortiz ==

Vico being 🔥 Fucking 🔥 just like their short!

Vico Ortiz IG

== Nathan Foad ==

Nathan continuing to shine in Love's Labour's Lost. You're not gonna stop hearing from me about this for a while because I find him all to adorable in this.

Img Src: @Jodie_davie_creates IG

== Kristian Nairn ==

Kristian is going to be at the Captured Festival in Malta on Sept 5th - 8th. For more info visit capturedfestival.com!

Img Src: Kristian Nairn's IG

== Samba Schutte ==

Samba's appearing in You Made It Weird! With Pete Holmes!

== Jes Tom ==

Our dear Jes Tom out and about after surgery recovery!

Img Src: Jes Tom's IG

== Kay Buchanan ==

More Leatherworking BTS by our dear Kay Buchanan!

Img Srcs: Kay Buchanan's IG

== Guz Khan ==

Our friend Guz Khan is out with the fam!

Img Src: Guz Khan's IG

== Uproar on Digital! ==

You can now access Uproar on Youtube Movies in the United States! If you're not in the US or NZ you can still buy/access them via a vpn!

== MerMay ==

Save OFMD Crew is posting some prompts for the upcoming #MerMay! Check them out below and please feel free to share your creations with @saveofmdcrewmates on their various socials!

== Watch Parties ==

It was brought to my attention I kept posting a picture that was set back in 2014! Agh! Good news, we're back to the present. Today, Thu April 25th we'll be showing Short Poppies Episode 4 & 5 on the Rhys Darby Factor Discord, if you need a link, hit me up! Otherwise you can watch short poppies on Amazon Prime! Times: 3:30 pm PT / 6:30 pm ET / 11:30 pm BST

== Fan Spotlight ==

Our friend @melvisik is still at it with another member of the Red Flag crew-- Teresa Lee!

== Love Notes ==

Hey Lovelies! I'm sorry I didn't get to get as far as I wanted with last night's love notes, so I'll save them for tomorrow. I'll share some other folks love notes instead:

Img Src: @/genleeart on Instagram

Img Src: @/YourBeautifulLife on Instagram

== Daily Darby / Today's Taika ==

Sorry for the cheat today all, but I just, really needed to see this gif of Stede and Ed and their wonderful hands. Gif courtesy of my darling Jodi @saltpepperbeard

[atopfourthwall]

Tbh you lament what people say about you and bemoan "harrassment and bullying". Yet you told RLM to "eat a bag of dicks" unprompted. You said Oneyplays "Are assholes, fuck them!". You'll constantly lecture your own fans, angrily yelling at them for asking when new Power Rangers are out, or for giving you simple, solid advice like below. You say youve calmed down in reviews yet still yell at the comic creators over minor stuff. The comments you complain about getting seem tame in comparison.

Okay, first of all I did not tell RLM to "eat a big of dicks" unprompted. What I said was "Eat a dick, jackass" while talking about the Plinkett Reviews in regards to how parts of them have not aged well, in particular the line that I felt was a bit racist - "Black people don't like Star Wars" (to be clear - I don't think anyone at RLM is racist [AFAIK]. The remark itself feels like it is, though, but that's also emblematic of edgier, wince-inducing internet humor from the time - we're all guilty of awful jokes like this to some degree, myself included). Now I ended up removing this line from the Star Wars Prequel reviews compilation because I realized it was needlessly inflammatory towards them and some perceived it as me attempting to star a beef with them… when of course I don't want to start a beef with ANYONE, much less someone much, MUCH more popular than me.

And no, I did not say Oneyplays "Are assholes, fuck them" (unless I said this on Twitter a long while ago). I'm assuming this is in reference to a part of the Fallout: New Vegas streams. Someone in the superchats asked a question relating to them and my other guests didn't know who they are. I proceeded to spend all of 40 seconds calmly explaining (though admittedly with a bit of light irritation) "They're other streamers, one of whom apparently does a GREAT impression of me. They're also responsible for popularizing calling me Lightbringer, soooo… screw 'em." That was it. But apparently "screw 'em" was TOO MUCH for a lot of people, because I got flooded with hate from that - videos made about how I was "TRIGGERED!" and "HAD A MELTDOWN!" Because that was one of the first public times I ever talked about how I wasn't okay with the nickname. We'll circle back around to this in a minute.

"You'll constantly lecture your own fans, angrily yelling at them for asking when new Power Rangers are out-" Aaand right there you prove that you don't actually watch my stuff. You're just repeating the same garbage from people who ALSO don't watch my stuff, but assume I have not changed at all, that I am the same person forever whose opinions don't change, whose attitude doesn't change, never gets better, etc.

Because I haven't been angry at people asking when the next History of Power Rangers is out in ALMOST TEN YEARS.

And the reason I know that number in particular is because I started my Patreon in 2014. The question annoyed me so much because I didn't have an answer for them and it seemed like they didn't care about anything else I did. But then I started my Patreon and one of the Milestone goals was actual release dates for HOPR. And thus since then I've been able to answer when new ones are coming out.

You want to know how NOT angry I am about the question I am now? I put it on t-shirts.

You can buy them at https://atop-the-fourth-wall.creator-spring.com/listing/when-is-hopr?product=2 and https://atop-the-fourth-wall.creator-spring.com/listing/when-is-hopr-03?product=2 (I was going to post pictures of them but Tumblr keeps breaking when I try). There's a third one, but I don't think I put that one back up because it was intended for Shark Robot where colors are limited and it didn't do very well.

But this is a thing that's brought up by people who hate me - my irritation at the question as if it was still something that bothered me because, again, they cannot conceive that maybe I've changed. No, I am cringe forever and there is nothing I can say or do that will satisfy them.

But no, I "lecture people constantly" evidently. People say I'm obsessed about this topic, about the bullying, that I just talk about it soooo much and I can't move on from it and it haunts my every waking moment and that such "simple, solid advice" like "Be okay with being bullied" is met with unreasonable hostility and my mind fixated on it constantly.

Unless of course you actually look at what I post, what I reblog, what I tweet about and then you discover "Oh, he actually only talks about it when people bring it up to him. He only made that thread because he said the harassment is starting to rise up again and that was days and days ago and hasn't said anything about it since. In fact, on this very Tumblr he's only bringing it up again because somebody ELSE is bringing it up, allowing him a chance to further break down why asshole behavior is still asshole behavior.

So let's bring this back to the "screw 'em" thing. You'll notice that in none of these longer rambling statements I've made have I brought them up. Sure, in that 40 seconds during the stream I did… but that was in the middle of the first wave of it where it really WAS affecting me psychologically hard… and I have not talked about them on stream since then. I don't talk about them in these threads. I don't tell my fans to harass them. I don't make up some nickname for them or mock them or do anything other than maybe some frustration at them during the thread a few years ago (and I am explicitly telling my fans not do so - if you want to be an asshole to them, you can fuck off from my fans). Because I don't WANT to talk about them. They can do whatever the hell they want on their streams. They can call me Lightbringer there, make weird memes about me. It's THEIR space to do with as they please.

The problem is entirely that their fans come to MY space to be assholes. To repeat those memes, to bully me and call me the name. Some do it innocently, thinking I'm okay with it (which, again - is who that thread was directed towards)… but there are others who are being assholes about it. And I'm going to call them assholes about it and block them. And I'm still not going to talk about Oney because I don't want to - they're not the ones who are spamming Lightbringer in my chat or comments or trying to find some way of sneaking it into the comments past my comment filters to try to get a gotcha on me. Hell, I've gotten some people who have said they discovered me and love my stuff now BECAUSE Oney talked about me.

And I'd really like to know which recent review you saw where I was specifically attacking creators in the manner you seem to think I did. Because being angry at a plot point or a narrative decision is not the same thing as attacking a creator. I'll freely tell you about the ones I HAVE specifically called out for shittiness - the racist, the homophobic, the sexual harassers, the transphobic, the one that spread misinformation, or just the greedy assholes. But just looking at the list of the last 50+ episodes I've done that maybe… once or twice? And even despite ALL those horrible things, I STILL tell my fans to leave them alone - to not start fights with them, to not send my videos to them, etc. Because I don't want my fans to be bullies, either.

I will end this with one final thing: "The comments you complain about getting seem tame in comparison." Yeah, well, that's because you're you and I'm me. Something that seems innocuous to one person may be deeply triggering for someone else. Something that seems like an innocent joke might actually be really fucking with someone mentally, as it was for me. And that's why I've tried to tell people "Hey, please don't do that." Maybe I do it aggressively. But sometimes that's the only way people will listen. If people are still doing it even after I've expressed how much it harms me - telling me that I should just "get over it" or "let them do it and respond with a laugh" even though I keep saying it DOES affect me, then those people are assholes and I don't see why I should give them the time of day.

Hopefully this lengthy response (I really am a windbag) helps people understand or it clears up some bullshit. And if it's still not good enough for you, then nothing less than complete capitulation to being called Lightbringer is the only thing that will satisfy you… well, fuck off.

[basicallyblank]

Jordan Nobbs: The Unbreakable Footballer.

Jordan Nobbs was once one of the world's best. She was widely renouned for her passing, her pace, and her ability to find the back of the net, from anywhere on the pitch. One of England's brightest talents, she highlighted her dreams of playing in World Cups, Euro's, and her biggest dream of all, the Olympic Games. Jordan looked like England and Arsenal's midfield maestro for years to come, but things don't always work like they're supposed to.

Here's how one of the worlds best midfielders was brought back down to earth.

Jordan started the 2014 season on a high, it was her 4th season in the WSL, and her 4th as an Arsenal player. She'd long since carved out her starting spot, and was one of their best performing players. She played Arsenal's first 4 champions league matches, scoring 4 goals in 4 games, but then picked up a back injury. This left her out of the entirety of Arsenals victorious FA Cup campaign, and left Arsenal struggling at the bottom of the table.

This injury didn't deter her though, as by the end of the season, despite only playing 9 games, she'd score 5 goals, which made her joint top goalscorer that season, alongside Casey Stoney.

In her time out, her absense was noticable, Arsenal had only won 1 in their first 5 games. She was known for her intelligence on the pitch, and without her pulling the strings in midfield, the team suffered.

The 2015 season was important one, it was a World Cup year. The tournament was set to be held in Canada, and Jordan was one of England's best talents that was looking forward to showing what she could do on the worlds biggest stage.

Determined to make the final squad, Jordan slept with a picture of the 2015 World Cup plastered to her TV.

On the 30th of April, in a 0-0 draw with Chelsea, Jordan would pick up a nasty hamstring injury, just a month before the tournament, and her World Cup dreams were looking in doubt. At 22 years old, Jordan looked forward to playing in her first major tournament, having made her debut for the Lionesses in 2013 against Italy.

On the 11th of May 2015, the World Cup squad would be announced, and Jordan's name would be on that list and not only that, she had been named Vice Captain for the tournament. At 22 years old, one of her biggest dreams, to play in a World Cup were coming true, and she would be helping lead her national team in their efforts to glory.

Jordan's legacy was writing it's self, and this looked to be her breakout tournament, she was the breakout player of the WSL, and people couldn't wait to see what she could do on the world's biggest stage.

Jordan would go on to make just 1 appearance at the tournament, in a group stage game against Colombia. Her hamstring injury would make a reappearance, and she wouldn't be able to perform at her usual level.

She'd play the full 90 minutes against Colombia, but would admit she played through 'agonizing' pain, and would have to run over to the dugout to be supplied with pain killers during the match, as she was unable to sprint.

The Lionesses would go on to win bronze in Canada, but Jordan would be left struggling with the fact she wasn't really able to play like she wanted to.

She would later explain in an interview a couple of months later that 'On a personal level, I was really disapointed to have the injury. I felt like I could have made an impact at the tournament and I missed not being out on the pitch with the girls.'.

“Hopefully there will be a lot more tournaments for me to make more of an impact. I want to be a major part of this squad and help us to keep on improving.”

The next few years went perfectly, she was one of the leagues best midfielders, and quickly making her name was one of the worlds best. She was one of the first names on the team sheet, and the future looked like it had been layed out in front of her, all she had to do was take it.

She became Arsenal's vice captain in 2017, and remained England vice captain alongside captain Steph Houghton. England were considered a better team when she played, and Jordan was ready to prove that she was the determining factor in the squad. The next major tournament was taking place soon, she was ready to redeem herself for what happened in the 2015 World Cup, in the 2019 World Cup that was being held in France.

Jordan started the 2018/19 season with a bang, in her first 10 appearances in all competitions she had scored 9 goals, she was on top of her game, and it was going to take something tremendous to slow her down now.

On the 18th of November, Arsenal would face Everton in the league. The match would end 4-0 to the Gunners, and Jordan would score in the 49th minute, a goal that would see her go to the top of the All-Time WSL top goalscorers list.

In the 82nd minute, Jordan would go in to challenge Chloe Kelly for the ball. However, she would fall to the floor with a non contact injury, after being seen by the medical staff and being supplied with oxygen on the pitch, she would be stretchered off the pitch and the captains armband would be passed to Leah Willamson.

With only 8 months to go until the World Cup, the anxious wait for test results began, as another major tournament hung in the balance for Jordan.

On the 20th of November, a statement would be released regarding Jordans injury. She had torn her ACL, and would be out for atleast 8 months. Jordan would completely miss the 2019 World Cup, and she was now out for the rest of the season.

It was the toughest blow for Jordan, but the hard work was only just beginning, she had been looking forward to proving herself on footballs biggest stage after it wasn't to be in the 2015 World Cup, at 26, she had just been entering her prime.

She stated in her documenatary 'Jordan Nobbs: Heartbreak and Healing' that she had felt 'very tired' leading up to the game and that as soon as she felt the 'pop' in her knee 'there wasn't a doubt that I'd done something serious.' and knew immediately that she wouldn't be at the World Cup in the summer.

Whilst she begun her rehabilitation, the BBC gave her an offer that felt like a lifeline, an oppurtunity to still be in France supporting England. They invited her to be a pundit during the England games, joining the likes of ex team mate Alex Scott and swapping the football boots for a microphone. She also did a column for 90 minute magazine, wanting to support the Lionesses in anyway she could.

Speaking in an interview with SportBible about being a pundit for the tournament, she said 'I think if I was going over there just to watch the games, I just couldn’t do it. It is heartbreaking to not be on the pitch and to think about what I could be doing if I wasn’t injured. For me to focus on a media job role, it allows me to still be a part of everything but it gives me something solid to focus on. I’ve been doing bits and pieces on the media side throughout my career so it doesn’t feel too daunting and perhaps the injury has been a blessing in disguise as it’s opened up this opportunity to still be involved in the World Cup through a slightly different lens than normal.'

That season, Arsenal would go on to win their first WSL title in 6 years, Jordan would lift the trophy alongside captain Kim Little after winning against a Man City team who had gone unbeaten.

Whilst the 2019 Women's World Cup kicked off in France, Jordan was looking forward to entering the final stages of her rehab, the start of the new season was her goal, Arsenal had a WSL championship to defend.

On the 25th of August 2019, 295 days after she had torn her ACL, Arsenal would play a BCD friendly against Tottenham Hotspur. She'd come off the bench for the game and score on her first touch, Arsenal would go on to win the match 6-0, and the Jordan Nobbs come back was well underway.

She would make her WSL comeback on the 8th of September as a substitute for Vicki Schnaderbeck in a 2-1 game against West Ham. She'd go on to make 28 appearances for Arsenal in her comeback season, scoring 8 goals across all competitions.

Jordan Nobbs was officially back, and she was ready to prove her worth. She'd have to fight for her place in a packed Arsenal midfield, that boasted the likes of Kim Little, Danielle Van De Donk, Jill Roord, and an injured Lia Walti who was making her way back to full fitness.

Disaster would strike again, as just when she was finding her rhythm back and getting into good form, the Covid-19 pandemic would cause the WSL to end early in March, this would result in a third place finish for Arsenal, and an even longer wait for Jordan.

In April 2020, she would go on to sign a new contract with the Gunners. “Arsenal is my everything now,” said Jordan after putting pen to paper. “I think football has overtaken my life since the age of seven, but I think I’ve got Arsenal in my blood now and I’m very proud to say that. I think I’ve got some great years to come.”.

She believed that signing a new contract with Arsenal would be the best step going forward, Arsenal had become her home, and this was the key into getting back to where she was in Winter 2018, back to being one of the best, at the club that knew her best.

She had her sights set on the next big thing, the Tokyo Olympics. They would start in the summer of 2021, and after making it onto the initial 30 player Team GB squad in 2012, but then not making the cut and then Team GB not qualifying at all for Rio in 2016, Jordan was prepared to work in order to achieve one of her biggest dreams.

She would end the 2020/21 season making 20 appearances for Arsenal and scoring 7 goals in all competition. Internally, Jordan felt unsure of herself, she had been played on the left wing all season, which wasn't her ideal position, preferring to excel in central midfield, but she would play wherever the team needed her to.

Hege Riise would be the woman in charge of taking Team GB to the Olympics that year, an interim coach after the departure of Phil Neville.

The season would end on the 7th of May, the anxious wait for a call began, as the squad list would be announced later in the month.

On the 27th of May, the 19 player list would be announced; Jill Scott, Ellen White, Leah Williamson, Lucy Bronze would all be named as apart of the squad, Jordan would not, she wouldn't even make it onto the reserves list.

Alex Greenwood and Beth Mead were among the shock emissions from Team GB. In an article from The Athletic, they stated that in a bid to not include Jordan in the squad, Team GB would be 'weaker for it'.

Speaking on it in an interview with Arseblog, Jordan reflected 'If I had played in central midfield a bit more, maybe I would have got in; but I definitely think I could have improved or helped the team, given the chance.', Team GB would go on to be beaten by Australia 4-3 in the Quater finals.

Jordan didn't have long to dwell on the disapointment of not making the team, as the next major tournament was in sight, and this one was extra special.

A home Euros. Games would be played up and down the country, with the final being at Wembley stadium. A dream for any footballer.

Arsenal and England would also have new managers. Arsenal would employ Jonas Eidevall, previously of FC Rosengård, and England would take on Sarina Weigman, previously of the Netherlands, which of whom she had won the previous Euro's, and had made it to the World Cup final in 2019.

This was 2 managers she would now have to prove herself to, they would both bring a different vision and Jordan knew she would have to work hard to have any place for club and country, but disaster would strike before it had all even began.

Ahead of the 21/22 season, Arsenal would play a preseason friendly against Chelsea at Emirites stadium. After enduring a tackle from Erin Cuthbert, her ankle would buckle awkwardly and she had to be stretchered off the pitch. Scans would later reveal that she had damaged the ligaments in her right ankle, and despite previous fears that she would be out for 4 months, the injury wasn't as severe as first thought and she would be out for 2 months.

Speaking to Arseblog News about the injury in November 2021, she said it was still really bad timing because I was raring to go for the season and that all took a knock. That injury really felt like the final mental hurdle that I could take, it really knocked me back quite a bit.

“I have worked hard with every setback though and I believe that will pay off. I’ve worked hard every time. It was tough, especially when I thought the injury might be worse, I was just thinking ‘oh my God, this is not happening again?’ Touch wood,” she says, tapping her head, “I am back fit now though and I have a lot of opportunity to shine with Arsenal.”.

That season, she'd go on to make 27 appearances for the Gunners. She'd go on to mark her 250th appearance in a 4-2 victory against Birmingham City as she'd be a stoppage time substitute. She would also score her 50th goal in a game against Everton.

Things were going well for Jordan at this stage, her body was feeling good and she felt ready to compete for a place at Euro 2022.

She was still getting regular England call ups from Sarina Weigman, speaking in an England article about looking towards the Euro's, she said, “I am not looking too far ahead because of what has happened in the past but I have to focus on what I can do and that is performing and playing well.”.

Could she finally be getting redemption ? Jordan had played in Euro 2017, where they would get knocked out by eventual winners the Netherlands after being defeated 3-0 in the Semi Finals. Could she help bring it home in a home Euro's ?

On may 1st, Arsenal would face Aston Villa in the penultimate game of the WSL, things were heated in the title race, with Arsenal in for a chance to get their hands on the trophy for the first time in 3 years.

Jordan would come on in the 73rd minute as a substitute for Vivianne Miedema. She'd only be on the pitch for 12 minutes.

She'd be running with the ball, when suddenly, she'd pull up and drop to the floor. She'd get back up, but it was noticable that she wasn't comfortable and was having severe issue with her knee/ankle. She'd play on for a short while, visibilly getting emotional, she knew what an injury at this stage would mean for her Euro's hopes, and possibily the future of her career, it had been a tough season for her in terms of game time, what message would this send to the manager ? She hadn't had an injury free season in years, and the fact she wasn't playing regular football was making her more susceptible to injury.

She'd hop and jog around the pitch for a little while longer,former team mate Fara Williams on commentary saying 'I really hope she's sensible here if she's hurt, she needs to make the right decision. She'll try and fight through because she's missed major tournaments through injuries and I'm sure thats playing on her mind.'.

She'd eventually come off, in tears and looking heartbroken. As she got a standing ovation from the fans, in commentary they were saying the thought that was on everyones mind, 'I wonder if this could be a farewell [...] her future not certain at this club, the club that she loves, the club she's been with for so long.'

Could this be a goodbye for Jordan ? The anxious wait for test results began. Yet again.

On the 17th of may 2022, it would be announced that Jordan would be out for the remainder of the season, and would also be out of contention for the European Championships that summer.

Once again, Jordan threw everything behind the Lionesses that summer. She partnered up with JustEats 101 initiative, that was helping to fund grassroots teams and making football more accessible to women and girls.

By July 19th, she was back on the grass and training on Arsenal pitches.

Speaking in an interview, she said 'Naturally I wanted to fight for a spot in the squad [...] I've been there, done that, even though it's not the situation I want to be in. I won't ever shy away from tough times of my career that mentally I've struggled with.'

She would attend the games alongside her fellow Arsenal team mates, cheering on her team every step of the way. She knew her role, she'd been here before.

England won the Euro's and the 22/23 season was almost here, it would be Jordan's 12th season with Arsenal.

The season begun with a 4-0 win against Brighton on the 16th of September, Jordan wouldn't appear in this match, this was soon a noticable pattern. She didn't start a game until the 27th of October against Zurich, where she scored a goal that was named Arsenal's goal of 2022. She would then be brought on in the next game against West Ham after an injury to Kim Little, she'd score after 90 seconds with her first touch of the game.

This brought her to be called up by the lionesses, but she'd have to pull out due to a small injury. Fans believed the Jordan Nobbs Revenge Tour was well underway, Jordan would start the next 3 games, getting a good amount of minutes.

She'd make a league appearance as a substitute against Aston Villa, scoring Arsenals 500th WSL goal in a 4-1 win. She would make her final appearance for Arsenal in a Champions League group stage math against Zurich, she'd come on in the 62nd minute and play what fans didn't know was her last Arsenal match.

She'd come off the pitch crying, and this was all the fans needed to know, now they just had to wait for the inevitable.

On January 5th 2023, it was announced that Jordan would depart Arsenal after 12 years with the club. In an open letter, she wrote 'I’m leaving the love of my life behind and that’s something really quite scary for me. But I’ve got no regrets in my mind because it’s been the perfect fairytale and I’ve achieved everything I ever wanted to and a whole lot more. 270 appearances, 81 goals, three WSL titles, four FA Cups? Where did the time go? I think a 17-year-old Jordan would have been very happy with that. It’s very rare these days to stay at a club for such a long time, and quite simply, there’s no other club I would have rather done it at.'

Jordan's departure left a bitter taste in fans mouths, it was later revealed that she had tried to leave the club during the summer, but the club had asked her to stay. A few felt she had been mistreated by the club in the last few years, but Jordan knew that this was a decision she had to make for herself, and ultimately, her career. She was going to Australia in the summer no matter what.

She had a successful last half of the season with Aston Villa, with them having their highest finish in the WSL yet, 5th. Jordan would score 4 goals for them, a hattrick (her first ever) against Brighton, and then 1 against West Ham. She'd suffer a knock towards the end of the season, to which herself and the club thought it would be best to end her season there. She wasn't willing to risk jeporadising her spot on the World Cup squad.

On the 31st of May 2023, Sarina Weigman announced her 23 player squad that would go to the World Cup, Jordan's name would be on that list.

She had fought her way back onto the international stage, putting on exceptional performances at Aston Villa, after missing the last 2 major tournaments as well as the Olympics, Jordan felt rejuvanised.

'I'm still waking up now with the butterfly feeling. Everyone dreams of playing in major tournaments.'

As we now come to the end of the 23/24 season, Jordan has played 1375 minutes for Aston Villa this season, and started 16 games, Scoring 2 goals and getting 2 assists. She has been without injury all season, being one of the only Villa players to do so.

She's carved her name into WSL history books, she's the only player to score in every WSL season, she's never lost in a game where she's scored. She is the only player to make an appearance in every WSL season. She's also 2nd in the all time WSL appearance holders list. She has the highest number of wins with one club (Arsenal, 121)

Although she isn't the player she was once, she's had to slow down due to her injury issues and has had to adapt her playing style in an attempt to avoid injury, added on to the fact that she is 31 years old now, she's still full of energy and has been one of Villa's best players this season, playing out of position at DM.

It's hard to see her getting called up for England again, even as the curent longest serving Lioness, it felt like we only had her for a brief moment, and then she was gone.

Her career didn't go the way it was supposed to, one of the worlds best has been reduced to a classic case of a talent ruined by injuries, but she remains positive. She now enjoys her football again, getting consistent minutes and seeing out the final years of her career.

She leaves a legacy to be proud of, and i hope she is.

[borntoocry]

𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐨𝐫𝐰𝐚𝐲.                                  e. williams x reader

𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐞𝐟𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟐

summary: yn and Ellie smoke and talk about everything relationship related. something very real and needed after yn’s disappearance. 

word count: 3.8K

warnings: violence.

tag list: @evangelinejxy @zahrwa @machetegirl109 

Madelaine was a girl you could only explain with a 2014 grunge Pinterest board. Her brown hair appeared black at certain angles, which confused you, and it made you angry how well she suited the changing colors. She was Snow White except she wore black tights and black shorts and boots that crawled up her knees. Her long sleeve was tight against her skin and you could see her nipples poking through the material. She was this aesthetic looking girl that was everything you wanted to be.

Ellie had the girl you wished to be and she didn’t even love her. This felt like a slap to the face, a kick to the stomach, and stomp on the head, a thorough beating. It felt like all of your nightmares were jumping you.

You shook her hand and offered a curt smile. You were angry at Madelaine somehow. She was perfect and she seemed nice, but Ellie didn’t love her. So what on earth was she doing wrong? Was she perfect for absolutely no reason?

“YN,” you said, which took the smile on her lips and dragged it to the ground. You retrieved your hand and stuck both into your butt pockets. “I see my name fucks everyone up, huh?”

She shook her head. “No, I’ve just never seen you before. Ellie never showed me any pictures after I asked.”

You raised your eyebrows. “You wanted to see me?”

“I wanted to know what you looked like,” she clarified.

You nodded. “Ah. Well here I am. Infamous YN YLN.”

“You’re gorgeous,” she said, which shattered your already breaking heart.

When you were with Ellie, you were a silent 18 year-old girl who made no effort in getting to know more than five people. Your people consisted of Dina, Jesse, Ellie, and Ellie’s dealer, who was quite nice for a guy with gang-related tattoos and a scary face. Besides them, you didn’t speak to the people Ellie brought around. You were okay with them, but you didn’t become friends. You would just say hi and bye, nothing more. So for Madelaine to shake your hand and call you beautiful was both endearing and horrifying.

You nodded once more. “You are too.”

“No, hush.”

You playfully rolled your eyes albeit wanted to truthfully roll them. She knew she was beautiful, there was no lie about that. Maybe that’s one of the reasons Ellie didn’t love her.

You needed to smoke before your mind went haywire and you exploded. You were being an asshole again and you told yourself you’d be kind. “Do you smoke?” you asked Madelaine.

“Cigarettes?” she replied with her eyebrows knitted together.

Your eyes widened and you chuckled. “No. Weed.”

“Oh,” she popped. “No. I don’t do drugs. They mess with my mind.”

“Well that’s alright. If you don’t mind, I’ll be out front with a blunt.” You glanced behind you at Ellie rocking back and forth against the fence. “Weed’s on Dina if you’re up to smoke.”

“Oh Ellie doesn’t smoke,” Madelaine nipped.

“Oh?” You raised an eyebrow at Ellie. “You don’t?”

Ellie stared back at you with a locked jaw. Her hands were deep in her pockets but even then you could tell they were in fists. No words came out of her mouth. Not even a head shake.

“No,” Madelaine replied. For her. For the tough girl who used to be able to answer for herself. “She doesn’t like that stuff.”

“Since when?” you laughed.

“Since we started dating. I made her stop. It was nasty and I didn’t like her when she smoked.”

You wobbled back to look at them both. “And she just quit?”

“Yep.”

Now you understood why Ellie might’ve hated Madelaine. She was controlling. You glanced at Ellie and squinted your eyes at her figure. She was slumping over, she looked annoyed, and she looked like she desperately wanted to smoke.

“You don’t even let her on special occasions?”

Madelaine shook her head.

“Well that’s no fun,” you said with a smile. “She should be able to smoke sometimes.”

Madelaine scoffed. “I’m sorry YN but you aren’t her girlfriend anymore. You can’t make her follow your rules.”

You looked down at the girl and tilted your head. “Madelaine, when I was with Ellie, I didn’t make her follow any shit rule. She wasn’t my fucking puppy.”

She prodded the inside of her cheek with her tongue. “Well now I see why it didn’t work out.”

Ellie stepped forward and grabbed Madelain’s arm. She pulled her aside and quietly whispered something to her. She huffed and puffed but after a minute of staring at them, she stepped away and walked to the bonfire. She looked like a baby the way she prodded off.

This left you and Ellie staring each other down. You shoved your hands back into your pockets, awkwardly drifting your thumb over your butt. Ellie looked you over as if she hadn’t done it millions of times before and sucked her lips into her mouth. She was silently observing you like she was going to strike at any moment.

The longer Ellie stared, your craving intensified. You took a step to your right and cleared your throat. “C’mon,” you said, jutting your head towards the house, “let’s go bother Dina for some weed.”

Ellie followed behind you as you searched the house for Dina. After a minute of searching and coming up empty handed, you started yelling. This quickly caught everyone’s attention. It was funny how everyone turned their heads to see you desperate and afraid Dina had somehow taken her bright personality to another party. People spat out directions like ‘Over there!,’ or ‘She’s in the bathroom,’ even though there were about two and a half bathrooms in the house; and when you searched every bathroom, someone finally said, ‘She’s right here!’

A random girl was locking arms with your best friend and you pulled her away. You and Ellie tucked her into a corner and badgered her for her weed stash.

“YN,” she said, pushing your crawling fingers away from her sides. “Stop tickling me! My stash is in my room. In my closet on the highest shelf. It’s in a Toms shoe box.”

You kissed her cheek and gave her side one last pinch. “Thanks D, I owe you.”

She hummed and you quickly grabbed Ellie by the elbow. You pulled her up the crowded stairs and down the hall to the right, where Dina’s room was locked… and you were the only one with the key.

You dug into your bra and retrieved the purple key, shoving it into the lock and twisting and turning it. You finally opened the door and hauled Ellie inside. You slammed the door shut and twisted the lock. You dropped the key back between your boobs and ran to the closet, climbing over Dina’s heavy dresser to grab the Toms box decorated in pink duct tape. You took off the lid and smiled at the sight of the pre-rolls enclosed in a clear mason jar.

“How many do you think we’ll smoke?”

Ellie hummed. “Er… I’d say one is fine.”

You slowly turned to her with a hand tightly wrapped around Dina’s closet railing. “One?”

Ellie’s mouth fell open and she rolled her eyes. “Did you not hear what Madelaine said?”

“That her puppy doesn’t smoke weed anymore because it alters brain chemistry or some shit?”

“Ding-fucking-ding,” she said, her voice deep and annoyed.

You scoffed and took one singular pre-roll out of the jar. You placed the lid back onto the box and stuffed it in its respective place on the shelf. You snatched a lighter off her dresser and walked over to her bed.

You sat on the bed and slapped the space beside you. “C’mon over here and sit,” you said, to which dragged Ellie over. She acted like she didn’t want to sit next to you–a slouching back with a pair of dragged feet–but as she sat down, she inched her way closer to your body.

You placed the joint in your mouth and sparked the end of it with the hot pink lighter. You inhaled until the tip was cherry red and proceeded to do so as you removed the joint from your lips. You exhaled the cloud of smoke and passed the joint to Ellie, who was both mesmerized and hungry.

“Are you a lightweight now too?” Ellie asked as she stuffed the joint between her lips.

You shrugged. “Currently, no. But maybe next month.”

“What do you mean?” Ellie rasped, the sound of smoke lingering in her throat vibrating through her words.

“Every once in a while I give myself a tolerance break for a certain drug. Last month it was alcohol. Instead of drinking a shit ton, I smoked a shit ton. So right now I have a high weed-tolerance, but a low alcohol-tolerance.”

Ellie hummed. “And why do you do it?”

You took the joint from her nimble fingers and raised it up to your lips. “Feels like I’m doing some heroic shit for my body.”

“And does it work?”

You inhaled, exhaled, and chuckled. “I don’t fucking know.”

She laughed. The sound reminded you of moments you didn’t want to reminisce on just yet. So you took another hit and asked, “So what’s up with your girlfriend?”

Ellie sighed. She placed her feet on the ledge of the bed and hugged her knees. “It’s too complicated to talk about. I don’t even know how to explain it.”

You shoved her shoulder with your own and looked over at her. “Before we dated we were best friends. And even when we did, you were one of my only friends. So spit it out. I don’t care if I have to figure it out in my head.”

She nodded and leaned against your warm body. “She has a strange mentality,” she began, her hands picking at her jeans and the patch of skin at her knee. “When we first started talking, I didn’t realize. And when we first started dating, I brushed off her weird remarks and lack of communication ‘cause I really did like her. She’s gorgeous, you know that, and she makes killer first impressions. When I first started noticing the strange things she would say, like, “You’re almost like a guy so you wouldn’t understand this,” I would just laugh it off because if I said anything about it, I’d end up overthinking it.” She exhaled a string of breaths that continued for a couple of seconds. She dropped her head and your mind kept telling you to pick it up for her and kiss away the wrinkle between her eyebrows. But Ellie sniffled and you quickly realized this topic was more serious than you thought. Madelaine truly was a monster. “I used to think that when I pointed out more shitty things about her, that I was only finding a reason to leave her. But I wasn’t. She just was an asshole.”

You ashed the joint and placed it on the ashtray beside you. You dropped your head to level with hers and whispered, “I know there’s more you want to say. You can say it, I promise I won’t say anything.”

She nodded. “YN, I know you think I should stay with her, but I know I need to leave her. This has nothing to do with you coming back but at the same time it has so much to do with you coming back.” She glanced at you and squinted. “For the year and a half I have been with her, my feelings haven’t even been considered. I haven’t been taken out on dates, I haven’t been the one receiving shit, I haven’t even gotten fucking head, YN,” she laughed manically. “She treats me like I’m a guy.”

“All because you’re masculine?”

“Exactly.”

The eye contact between you was as strong as the drugs mixing in your body. You kept looking at each other, observing one another’s matured faces and wishing you could see if more than just her freckled skin had matured. You knew she had changed–her figure took on more muscle than you could believe, her hands were even more godsent than before, and her hair was shorter, offering a better view of her chest–but to this extent? You were a melting ice cream cone begging the sun to just fade away.

“When you stare at me like that I don’t think we can have a serious conversation,” Ellie whispered.

“Well you started it,” you replied.

“Sure,” she rasped. “But truthfully, I do want to hear from you. What do you think of her?”

You rolled your eyes and steadied your hands along your thighs. “I think she’s a dumb bitch who deserves my fist in her fucking face.”

Ellie chuckled. “You’re not fighting anyone.”

“Yeah well who is she to treat you like you’re not a woman? Just because you’re a masculine woman doesn’t mean you have manly emotions or manly feelings and thoughts. And it especially doesn’t mean you don’t deserve head. Does she not want to because you don’t have a dick or something?” you exclaimed.

“Probably,” she muttered.

Ellie had never been the type to spit out what was shredding her to pieces. It struck arguments when you were together, but you worked it out every time. You could tell Madelaine didn’t care. Not about Ellie’s emotions, her mental health, nor her sexual needs. If she was in such distress every time she was with Madelaine, she needed to leave the relationship.  

“Fuck her,” you spat. “Bring her to me and I’ll tear her stupid leather jacket to pieces.”

“Don’t,” Ellie said. “It cost me damn near two-hundred bucks.”

“Shut the hell up,” you said. “For what?”

“Her birthday. She kept crying about it and I was tired of hearing her yap about it, so I bought it.”

“And what did she give you in return?”

“It was a gift, YN,” Ellie clarified as if you hadn’t heard her loud and clear.

“Yeah but I don’t mean what you think I mean,” you answered. “I mean, did she fuck you for it?”

“Fuck no,” she said.

“Then fuck her and her dumbass Pinterest board aesthetic.”

Ellie cackled. She fell into your side and you leaned your laughing face against her forehead. You placed a hand on her thigh to keep you both steady but as she pulled away, your hand remained glued to her. She gazed at her burning skin and then up at you. Your throat throbbed and you swallowed the spit halting you from speaking and breathing.

Ellie tugged your hand higher up her thigh and you flinched. You pulled back and instead, placed your burning fingers between your thighs. Ellie could feel the tension tying around your necks, but she did nothing to soothe it. Instead, she made a Boy Scouts knot and pulled as tightly as she could.

“Why’d you leave?” she asked you.

You dropped your head as she had done once before and huffed. “I told you already.”

“You didn’t tell me anything; you wrote me a note.”

“And I’m sorry, but my reason is on that piece of paper.”

“But what if I want to hear you say it?” Ellie pleaded.

You slid a hand over your eyes and stopped at your chin to pinch and somehow stop yourself from crying out. The topic of leaving for two years and magically reappearing made you emotionally unsteady. You constantly thought about it, but you rarely spoke of it. Speaking of it somehow made everything worse.

“I don’t know how to tell you.”

“Well like you said, we used to be best friends. You can tell me anything.”

You looked up at her through your eyelashes and found the calmness within her eyes. You nodded and stood up. If Ellie didn’t like your answer, you wouldn’t have to fight her away if you needed to leave. You could simply walk out of the door. It was easier this way.

“Well I don’t know. You broke me when you said what you said. Calling me insecure and bashing me for having trust issues made me go insane. I mean…” You drew in as much air as you could and held it at the bottom of your stomach. “I loved you, Ellie. I loved you so much my heart fucking hurt every time I thought about our relationship. You were so good to me. You listened to me and you tended to every desire I had. You didn’t just want me for sex. You wanted me for my brain and my feelings and emotions. And you were patient!” you exclaimed. “You were so patient. But then you said I was insecure and I didn’t trust you. But I did. I did trust you, Ellie. With my heart. But I was a terrible overthinker; and every person I had been with before you treated me like I was just a person and not their significant other. Like I was just a ragdoll they could shove their dick or fingers into and I’d be alright for the next few days. They would leave me for someone else and come back to me. So when you would go home every other month, I was scared you would find someone else and leave me at college to find out you didn’t love me anymore.”

When you stopped walking back and forth and looked at Ellie, you froze. Her face was red and splotchy and tears were running down her cheeks. She was no longer cradling her knees, but on the edge of the bed, arms on her thighs and eager to stand.

You walked to her and sat down in front of her. She followed suit and sat down, her hands reaching for sweaty ones. She separated your thumbs and placed them on her lips. She kissed the pads of your thumbs. Over and over again. It felt like cheating. It probably was, but neither of you could pull away.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered against your skin. You grasped her cheeks and caressed her jaw with your remaining fingers, trying to brush away her tears. “I’m sorry I didn’t take my time to understand why you had a hard time trusting me. I should’ve known.”

You shook your head. “You didn’t know and I never made an effort to tell you. This wasn’t entirely your fault.”

“I shouldn’t have lashed out, though.”

“And I shouldn’t have left,” you whispered. “I should have talked to you about it instead of leaving.”

“And you left because…”

“I had to work on all of my unresolved problems. I was a mess, and I did have trust issues I failed to work on, and I was a raging insecure idiot. So you weren’t lying, but I guess the truth hurt like hell.”

Ellie nodded. “I was still an idiot for yelling at you and scaring you off. I might have made you realize something, but I shouldn’t have bashed you for it. I should have sat down and brought up something that hurt me. So we could calmly talk about it.”

“Yeah well now what can we do?” you said. Your thumbs were now traveling around her lips, touching the crevices and smoothing over her smile lines. Or lack thereof.

“Nothing,” she answered. “But–”

“I think you should break up with her,” you spat. Ellie’s eyes exploded. “You should leave her. She’s no good for you.”

“I know, I know, but it’s not as easy as we say it is.”

“Well I can help.”

“YN.”

“Ellie.”

She pulled your hands away from her face and placed them on her hips. She hovered over you as she sat on her knees, and with her own pair of hands, graced your face. You looked up at her, confused and drenched with tears. She slowly leaned in and you shut your eyes–if she was going to cheat, you didn’t want to see her as she did it.

You could feel her breath panning against your mouth and you hummed. She was going to kiss you after two years.

She was.

Until a terrifying knock shook you both out of your shoes. You pulled away and stood up, dusting yourself off before the doom–Madelaine–bursted in. You dusted yourself off on your way to the vibrating door, and unlocked it. You opened the creaking wood and smiled at the angry Madelaine.

“Hey,” you said with a smile.

You couldn’t catch her punch as your tears were still invading your eyes. But when you wiped your eyes away and dodged her next wobbling punch, you struck her right in the jaw.

Holy shit, you thought, I just knocked out Ellie’s shitty girlfriend.

And holy shit thought Ellie too. She quickly grabbed you and wiped your bloody face, holding you away from Madelaine, who was slowly dragging herself up. She pointed at you, spitting out blood and curses.

You laughed. “Fuck you!” you shouted over Ellie’s shoulder. “You controlling bitch!”

“You’re the homewrecker!” she shouted back.

“You can’t wreck a home that’s already broken, you psycho.”

Madelaine got up and walked over to you and Ellie. She dug her finger into Ellie’s chest and pushed her away. Thankfully, Ellie pushed her away and said, “Just sit down and talk. Why the fuck did you have to punch her?Are you fucking crazy?”

“The fuck?” Madelaine spat. “You were going to have sex with her while your girlfriend was outside crying.”

“I wasn’t going to have sex with her, Maddie,” Ellie whined.

“Yeah well from what I heard out here, you were.”

You stood by and watched, saying nothing but wanting to throw another punch at her stupid face.

“I wasn’t going to fuck her! But whatever you heard out there was fucking true! So while I wasn’t going to fuck her, I am going to break up with you.”

Madelaine’s jaw trembled. You looked down at her figure–her red hand was balled up into a fist, ready to swing again, but this time into Ellie’s face. She raised her fist into the air and as she was about to knock it into Ellie’s jaw, you pulled her forearm and pulled her onto the ground beside you.

Ellie stepped back as your fist collided with her cheek. This was enough to calm her down for the next couple of seconds. She laid on the floor like a baby, but with blood and tears instead of just tears.

You looked up at the people surrounding the room. The audience was too in shock to pull out a phone, and for that you were grateful. People would have thought you were fighting over a girl. Which, to an extent, you were. But to you, you were fighting someone to defend your best friend.

“Someone come get this bitch and calm her the fuck down,” you shouted, pulling everyone out of their wide-eyed stare. Dina, who was pushing against everyone, dragged Madelaine out of the room with only an enthusiastic “Good job” coming out of her mouth.

[hbosscreations]

Mostly Comprehensive Guide to Noah Ikumelo (With minimal personal commentary)

I have tried to consolidate everything we know for certain about Noah in one location, but I’m sure I’ve missed things. If you see something that’s not here, please let me know. I’d love to know if this is useful to anyone.

I have avoided repeating pictures, even in areas where examples would work well in multiple places, I highly recommend reading the issues he’s in, in Marks of Woe and The Best Version of You, if you’re interested in using him as a character.

Origin Story

Noah Ikumelo was born in 2003-2024 to Liza Ikumelo, a poor black woman who was harassed for years by an entity who identified himself as Rawhead-and-Bloody-Bones. In an effort to save her life, she somehow came into contact with John Constantine, who half assed putting him into a grave and then slept with her on top of it.

Ten years later (2013-2014), when Noah is nine years old, Rawhead-and-Bloody-Bones decides that he’s ready to take his revenge on John and uses a spell to track her down, thinking that he’ll find John through her.

Instead, he puts her in a coma and rips Noah’s ability to speak from his body.

We do not know who took care of him or where he lived after this point. The comic briefly mentions a grandmother in A Green and Pleasant Land Part 3, but does not imply that he lives with her.

At some point, he is picked up by K-Mag and the Ri Boys, a gang of drug dealers that operates out of Peckham Rye park. He has not been sent on a bloodrun (a ritual killing in which initiate gang members take a knife and walk alone into enemy territory to spill some blood) before he meets John, and is not a full member of the gang.

Relationships

Liza Ikumelo

See above information on what we know of Liza's history.

Noah loves his mother dearly. He visits his mother no less than two times a week, late into the night, and often falls asleep at his mother's side.

(I would just like to point out how cruel it is to tell a child that his mother can hear him deep down in her coma, when he cannot fucking speak.)

If this is two days since she became comatose as opposed to two days since she was transferred from Kings College Hospital to St. Thomas Hospital's Terminal Ward (Edit: This is in reference to the above panel that states Noah visits his mum at least twice a week, the information detailing the amount of time Noah has spent in the hospital has been moved to the section on Loyalty.)

(Edit: Between Scrubbing Up Part 2 and Quiet, Liza is transferred from King's College Hospital to St. Thomas' Hospital, specifically into the terminal ward. We do not know of her fate at this point, but Noah believes she is still alive during the beginning of Dead in America.)

Gran

There are references to Noah’s Grandmother and the implication of the door of her apartment, but we know nothing about her except that Noah cares enough about her for K-Mag to use her as leverage.

Isa

Noah is not shown to have friends in the series, the closest we see is Isa. He does appear to be defensive of Noah, tries to shut John down for using ableist language, tries to give Noah credit for the capture, tries to get Noah his own bloodrun so he’ll be fully protected by the gang. Isa is assumed to understand British Sign Language by John, but we do not actually know.

Unfortunately, this is the last time we see Isa alive. Isa is killed in Kennel Crew territory and brought back to be used for scrying parts by K-Mag.

K-Mag

K-Mag is the leader of the Ri-Boys, a teen gang that takes in boys of all backgrounds, who uses them to run drugs and murder to provide him with body parts for haruspexy. Based in Noah’s ability to break into and hotwire a car, we can assume that they also steal cars.

Despite putting a gun to Noah’s head to threaten John into working for him, K-Mag does imply that he trusts Noah to be loyal to him.

He does seem to be correct in that implication. Noah is alone in the world, and K-Mag is a source of strength.

Noah does appear to be afraid of K-Mag, but doesn’t seem to have any interest in breaking away from K-Mag’s control or the gang until John comes along.

D.S. Davinder Dole

Despite being in a gang, Noah does appear to have police connections, due to his mother’s profession before she went into a coma.

Dole does care about Noah, but it seems like he cares from a distance.

Tommy Willowtree

Noah meets Tommy for the first time in K-Mag’s drug den/slaughterhouse where he meditates naked while staring at a wall.

Nat

Despite being around Noah constantly in Dead in America, she rarely speaks to him and nearly every time she does, she insults him. I cannot tell if the comments are meant to be playful the way I assume most of John’s cruel insults are meant to be playful, but I hope so.

Attraction

We see little of Noah having interest in anyone, though this is likely a lack of panel time more than a lack of sexuality.

He attempts flirt with a woman in the hospital he sees regularly, though this is right after his mother was transferred to a different hospital’s terminal ward and he’s there in the middle of the night. The narration does specifically say that he’s doing the flirting to break the quiet.

He expresses interest in Nat, but given that she’s the only woman he has contact with for an extended period of time who isn’t his comatose mother or his possibly still alive grandmother, this may also be a proximity crush.

He mentions that Tommy is good looking, but this could be a joke towards John.

Personality Traits

Empathy

Noah constantly reaches out to help when he is involved in a situation, even to his own risk and detriment. He does not need to be instructed to help, in fact, he has been reigned in from helping more than once. When he sees an addict being attacked in Peckham Rye park by Derek and his Angels, Noah’s first instinct is to run in and help, even knowing that people are being slaughtered in the park. After John forces him away from the situation, he is furious at not being allowed to help and blames John for the death that he might have prevented.

Quiet gives us the story of an angry ghost killing minority patients in the terminal ward of St. Thomas Hospital. Noah tries to save the patients, tried to save John, and when the ghost came for his mother, he ran into her room and offered condolences that she was alone.

You could argue that this scene was not a genuine act of kindness, given that on the previous page, Noah said he thought this woman deserved to die for using her ghost to murder people in the hospital.

[radioluminescentoblivion]

Hazbin Hotel: The Corruption of Creativity. Part 1

1. Introduction

Hello everyone, I normally don’t make huge posts like these, but I thought it would be important to make this review and discussion about the latest animated show on Amazon Prime, Hazbin Hotel, and the people behind the scenes who worked on the show, mostly the show creator Vivziepop. Back in 2019 when I first watched the animated pilot of Hazbin Hotel, I was interested to see how this show, if picked up, would go about with its story. Like many people who were still fans of Vivziepop’s work, I wanted to see this show become a good adult animated series. In fact, as the production was going on behind closed doors, I supported viv and her work via Patreon for a time and bought some merch from Sharkrobot.com to help fund her endeavors—I even still have my Angel Dust t-shirt and Hazbin Hotel poster in a black picture frame. 

2. Personal Fan Origins

Though I wasn’t an og follower of viv back in her older days on DeviantArt, I was introduced to her work around 2014-2015, that’s when I originally saw her fan-animated Kesha Die Young music video and since then I became a fan of her work and was obsessed with her means of creating very expressive and stylistic characters. Vivziepop was the artist who not only introduced me to the furry community, she was also a big inspiration for my artwork and still is to some extent now, had it not been for her, I don’t think I would’ve been in the position I’m in now to make art or it would’ve taken me much longer than where I started. 

But as much as I was a casual fan of her work, I was also a skeptic of her as a person over time. Primarily due to how she would be overly defensive towards criticism, radiate a toxic personality on others and friends of hers, and how she would intentionally and unintentionally weaponize her audience against those that landed on her blacklist. These traits would only become more apparent over time, but I like many others had the mindset of “separating the art from the artist” And while there is some validity to be made on that notion, it makes it all the harder when the person intentionally makes the art inseparable from who they are or they’re still active or alive and will constantly change their position or view on things. I know there’s a much deeper discussion to be had about this notion and how relevant it actually is, but for the sake of this post, I won’t dive into it that much. 

Watching Helluva Boss in 2019 onward would prove to be a conflicting experience since the first time watching the first season wasn’t as bad, some episodes had some strong character development, decent action scenes, and enjoyable songs. 2, 5, and 6 were some of my favorites in the series, but around season 2 episode 4, I was losing interest and I began to see the cracks in the show and noticed that the charm had dwindled going into the second season. Episode 6 was where I stopped which is funny because the last episode (at least currently) was episode 7 which I didn’t even bother to give any attention to because I didn’t like the show much anymore: The characters were losing whatever charm they had originally, making the characters I did like lose that vibe I enjoyed and those I didn’t like before I just didn’t care or it made it all the worse, the pacing didn’t get any better as the show was always going so quickly but rarely having time to sit down and digest even when there were scenes that had those moments, and for a show that would have differing times from 10-30 minutes, it made it all the more rushed, the stories were all over the place in a way I had no fun engaging with or could get behind, sometimes plot points like D.H.O.R.K.S’s evidence of demons would be revealed but never brought up again or have the same impact on the show, and some of the songs were forgettable (though I did enjoy Cotton Candy).

After I stopped giving HB a watch I decided to be patient and wait for when Hazbin Hotel would drop, and on January 18th, 2024, the first episode would drop to present the new show to the world.

3. Hazbin Hotel Review (Spoilers, Obviously)

Summary - 

Hazbin Hotel is an adult animated series about the daughter of Lucifer named Charlie Morning Star, a demon princess seeking to rehabilitate sinners in a less violent way to combat overpopulation in hell. Along the way, she manages to get support from the enigmatic radio demon named Alastor who helps Charlie and Vaggie bring in sinners in an attempt to redeem their souls for a price while trying to be as cooperative as she can with the odds stacked against her. 

When I first watched the premiere of the show, I wasn’t really blown away or impressed by it, which isn’t a bad thing since not a lot of shows have a strong start with their early episodes in the season. Where it did get interesting however was around 4-6 when it started to focus more on character development and give some time for the main cast to shine and maintain some consistency with the story, though this has its limits. There were also some decent songs, some funny dialogue, and even some sprinkling of action around the end. Unfortunately, in the later episodes, it started to fall back to where the show lost its touch. So let me get around to the pros and cons of Hazbin Hotel:

The Good -

As someone who felt burnt out from Helluva Boss, this is an improvement as far as comparing viv’s older work goes, which is a slight benefit. 

Performances are great as far as voices go, especially when you have people like Keith Davids in your line up, though I would be a little more positive on the casting choices if it didn’t also come at the cost of the old cast, I genuinely believe they should’ve been given additional voice roles if not main ones for the show, so that sucks. 

Songs can be hit or miss in this show, with More Than Anything (both the first and reprise) and Loser Baby being the better examples and the rest not sticking out to me as much, either because I don’t think they had as much impact or they felt out of left field. I think it would’ve been better to not have every episode with a song number unless it was a grand introduction to something (i.e. Poison, Loser Baby, More Than Anything). Though I don’t expect this to be a popular opinion so whatever

The visuals are fairly competent with few to no issues that caught my eye, my only critique would be that due to how fast everything feels it can be hard to follow what's all happening, not to mention having the background and background characters look as eye-catching as the main cast can throw people off of where they should put their focus on. It's not as terrible enough where I loathe it, but it could make some contrast of who/what you should pay more attention to. 

The Bad -

The story loses track of the main premise of Charlie trying to redeem sinners and her relationship with Vaggie. The side plots don’t interest me as much aside from Angel Dust and Husk having some empathy for each other slowly through the series, and the other main cast aren’t nearly explored as much. Idk the best way to describe it, but it seems that most of the focus of the side characters isn’t where it should be (the hotel’s residents) and more so on those outside the hotel, which I think would’ve worked better in the second season rather than just the first. If season one was just focusing on the residents, Charlie and Vaggie more than the other characters, I wouldn’t mind that. I think the only exceptions to this would be the hell overlords discovery of how to fight back and Lucifer helping Charlie with the hotel. But back to the main cast, Charlie and Vaggie’s moments of romance and bonding seem few and far between, which sucks since this is supposed to be about them right? RIGHT?! The potential is just wasted.

Not every song is needed or has a place in every episode, though that could be because I wasn’t feeling them as strongly compared to the ones mentioned. Not much else to say there that hasn’t already been said.

Characters don’t appeal to me as much aside from Niffty and Sir Pentious (they’re the best) and unfortunately, the characters I should care about don’t get enough time to shine due to how this show is hastily paced—which leads me to my next negative.

Pacing is absolutely atrocious, for episodes that last 30 minutes, it feels like everything has happened yet also little has happened in such a short period of time (which is insane to me) Viv has had pacing issues in the past with her work which is concerning to me, mostly because she wasn’t always this speedy with her series, there were times she had more breathing room for her older works for instances like the Son of 666 and Timber, even the short Bad Luck Jack (which I liked) suffered from this in ways. Idk what exactly happened, but it seems like viv’s workflow has just gotten worse over time, and her artistic magic, patience, etc has just vanished.

Jokes? For what attempt of humor was there, it was very little. Once in a while, there was a joke that stuck the landing or made me chuckle, such as Charlie and Alastor swearing unexpectedly, only because it’s so out of left-field you wouldn’t expect it, so the joke works. Or when Niffty and Sir Pentious act their usual awkward selves in front of others. But everything else is just not funny to me because the majority of the humor is either sex or profanity jokes that don’t have that great of build-up or go for something more than just “haha adult words” which ironically makes it more juvenile than adult. I don’t mind stupid humor, but make it funny and not because you want to say “fuck” for the sake of it. Even if it’s just for casual talk, it's overly excessive. It doesn’t hurt to find humor in other ways even if those don’t land either, it's better than just resorting to profanity and sex.

Additional Comments -

When it comes to Vivziepop’s older works, it’s better than Helluva Boss but weaker than her shorts or animated music videos (fan-made or original), the strongest elements within the series lie within the hump of the season and fall short from the beginning and end. Though as annoying as that is, it pales in comparison to the other elements in the show. 

Heaven’s methods of carrying out exterminations every year to dissuade the populace of hell from rebelling is just a very dumb thing to do when there are so many other ways to shatter the morale of a persecuted people or nation without lifting a single sword that would’ve been better implemented and create a larger divide between heaven and hell and less costly as well. Perhaps this is just to further showcase how arrogant and incompetent Heaven is, but I have my doubts on that. 

Alastor as a manipulative radio host works well between Charlie and Vaggie, though I wish they wouldn’t have explained his ties to the disappearances of hell’s overlords so soon, it just takes away from his mysterious nature as this eldritch being. That part to me would’ve worked later on. (Yeah, I’m also aware they did something similar in the pilot too, which brings up another issue I have) 

Continuity between the pilot and the first episode is pretty murky, it doesn’t help matters when the plot of the pilot and the series episodes get collaged in so haphazardly. If I never heard of Hazbin Hotel or Vivziepop’s work before, I’d kinda be thrown off a bit and try my best to catch up on what’s going on. I don’t expect an expose of how everything works, but an organic flow of how things come together would’ve been nice. For instance: the pilot itself feels more like an episode one than the actual episode 1 of the first season. I know the point of the pilot isn’t as strict in its rules, since it's supposed to sell an idea to a network or distributor. Hell, The Amazing Digital Circus does something similar to how Hazbin Hotel does with presenting a first-episode introduction into the world and characters, only it does it far better and it hasn’t even gotten its first episode out yet, but I don’t want to compare apples to oranges on two different shows. The point is, the first episode should’ve had a better flow to it or at least maintained something more consistent like the pilot did. 

But by far the most glaring problem in the show isn’t part of the show itself believe it or not. But to keep this short, I’ll leave that for part 2. 

4. End of Part 1 

Originally when I watched the series I gave this a 7/10 on IMDB because I came at this from a perspective of how I would judge the work based on viv’s prior craft, this gave it a point above Helluva Boss, primarily with pacing, and direction of what it should be about and where to focus the story and characters. That being said, I was being very generous and didn’t also factor in on how it stood on its own two feet, and to be honest? It's not that good. For the first season of a new adult animated show, it’s too rushed, and not fleshed out enough in areas where it needs to be, The majority of the characters I have little interest or investment in, and despite having its moments, it's not enough to keep me hooked to know what happens within the next season. 

This would bring it down to 1 point for that to a 6/10, I know some fans would put the blame on Amazon, A24, or Bento, but here’s the thing, other shows have had episodes with similar limited space and time to tell their stories yet do a far more superior job in doing so than this, from what I understand, Amazon seems pretty open for a studio big or small to do as they please with what resources they have to get out what they can regardless of the restraint of episodes to be made, thereby making studios try their best to work harder on making a show work with such little episodes, so I see this mostly as a personal thing with viv and her team than just amazon. 

Now I would just leave it at that and move on, but I’m afraid this is where things get more muddy and grim.

[knamil]

Spoilers for the Jedi Knight story.

Filter if you don't want to see this ever again: #knamil stasis comic

This story takes place not long after the main Jedi Knight story ends. This is an AU Comic because nothing that was released after initial story launch (Makeb onward and esp not KOTFE KOTET are considered "true" for this universe.)

Notes and captions below the cut.

I wrote the story for this in 2014 and I'm using it as a basis to follow along with an art class I'm auditing. It's inspired by companion content that was originally cut from the game, but was datamined and posted online. If you've never seen it, there was supposed to be a quest where you can help Lord Scourge get his feelings back.

I don't know how to write captions for a comic so I'm including the script as a caption.

If there is a standard way to caption comics for screen readers, msg me and I will do my best.

Conventions used

IM: stands for Internal Monologue. Scourge’s internal monologue appears in black boxes with red text and red outline.

Speech bubbles are rounded white bubbles with black text and black outline.

Setting descriptions/general captions are blue boxes with black outline and black text.

The script labels each image as a page. Each panel will have a short description of the picture then the dialog within the panel.

Begin script

Page 1 Scourge kneeling in a cell meditating. Red forcefields surround him. Title: Stasis Part I (by knamil)

Page 2 Caption: Coruscant Holding Cells - 86 Days After the Emperor’s Defeat (A.E.D.)

Panel 1 Scourge is kneeling in his cell meditating. The frame shows a partial profile of his face. One of his eyes are open. A figure is shown walking toward him. Behind the figure are closed doors.

SCOURGE IM: The Medic. Interesting.

Panel 2 A head portrait of Doc

Caption: Archiban “Doc” Kimble

DOC Hey Scourge. How’s it going?

Panel 3 Scourge is kneeling in his cell looking at the floor. He says nothing. Doc stands in front of the cell facing Scourge

DOC Just seein’ if you need anything. Maybe you want to chat? Have a little heart to heart. You know?

Panel 4 Scourge looks up.

Panel 5 Doc is looking down at Scourge. The back wall of the holding facility can be seen behind him.

Panel 6 Closer focus on Scourge.

SCOURGE Tell me, Doctor… has the Jedi stopped screaming yet?

Page 3 Panel 1 Doc looks angry

Panel 2 Doc looks sad

Panel 3 Doc looks resigned

DOC I don’t know.

Panel 4 The Jedi is on a surgery table. Machinery and tubes cover her abdomen. A breathing mask covers her mouth. Her eyes are squeezed shut in an expression of pain.

DOC They kicked me out two days ago. Her wounds won’t close. The bleeding won’t stop.

They’re rerouting half her organs with cybernetics just to keep her alive.

Panel 5 Doc leans over to sit on the floor.

DOC I heard they put you in here because you wouldn’t talk when you brought her in.

I don’t understand why you won’t tell us what’s happening to her.

Panel 6 Scourge still kneels in his cell.

SCOURGE Because there is nothing in your limited understanding of the Force and its potential that can help her.

Panel 7 Doc is sitting on the floor on the other side of the force field facing Scourge.

DOC Can you?

SCOURGE No.

Panel 8 Close up view of Scourge. He looks down.

SCOURGE The ritual may not be undone.

IM: It would mean the end of everything.

End Script

[tiaramania]

hi!! let me preface by saying i am most definitely *not* asking about The Drama, this is purely a tiara question. i’m fairly ignorant about the tiaras in the BRF vault, but since we found out meghan had 5 choices for wedding tiaras, ive been wondering what they could be? i assume Teck Crescent, Strathmore Rose, and obvs the Bandeau she wore, but what do you think the other 2 could’ve been? i think one had emeralds so maybe Greville Kokoshnik, but is there an aquamarine tiara not currently in use?

I've gotten a few asks about this but you were the only one from someone I know who you are so I believe that you're not trying to stir the pot. To other people, say whatever you want on your own blog but don't put hateful stuff towards anyone involved in this whole thing on my posts because I will block you. I will always be happy, if a little (ok a lot) slow, to answer genuine questions about tiaras.

Alright so, five tiaras...

Queen Mary's Diamond Bandeau Tiara (formerly called the Filigree Tiara which I still prefer because it differentiates it from her other diamond bandeau tiaras) would be the only sure thing because it's the one the Duchess of Sussex choose for her wedding day. I think it was the perfect choice for her and I loved seeing it pulled from the vault after decades of not knowing if it even still existed.

The emerald tiara would have to be Margaret Greville's Emerald Kokoshnik Tiara because it's the only emerald one QEII owned except the version of the Vladimir with the Cambridge Emeralds and she wasn't going to loan out that because she still regularly wore it. It makes sense because Princess Eugenie wore it later that year so it was probably in the pool of tiaras available to be loaned out to brides.

One of them being aquamarine is throwing me. There are a few aquamarine tiaras in the family but they either didn't belong to QEII or were already on long term loan to someone else. The only one I can think of being offered is the Five Aquamarine Tiara (also called the Aquamarine Ribbon Tiara, the Canadian Aquamarine Tiara, or the Small Aquamarine Tiara) which is presumably still on loan to the Countess of Wessex. She's only worn it a handful of times and she already has a different aquamarine tiara that she seems to prefer so I can see her returning this one to the vault. The last time I can find her wearing it was in 2014 so that's plenty of time for things to change behind the scenes. Of course with the BRF it's very possible that there's another aquamarine tiara in the vaults that we know nothing about.

The Strathmore Rose Tiara was probably in the mix. It's rumored that the metal has deteriorated and that's why it hasn't been worn in so long but it was featured in The Queen's Diamonds in 2012 and even if it was in bad shape that could be fixed. I know everyone loves this tiara and it's always brought up as a possibility for British royal brides but it's not a favorite of mine. I don't know, it's a little too button-y or the flowers are little too simplistic. I think I would need to see it worn with modern day hairstyles to decide if I like it because most of the pictures of it being worn are across the forehead 1920s style.

For the fifth tiara I would actually go with Queen Mary's Lozenge Tiara without the pearls like Princess Margaret wore it over the Teck Crescent Tiara. In The Queen's Diamonds, Hugh Roberts writes that the Teck Crescent was loaned to the then Duchess of Cornwall but she never wore it. I suppose that it could have been put back in the vault between 2012 when the book was published and the wedding in 2018 because Camilla realized she was never going to wear it. The Lozenge Tiara wasn't loaned out to anyone and is much more wearable due to the large circumference of the Teck Crescent. The Lozenge hasn't been seen in forever and a day but neither had the one she ended up choosing. I had it on my list of tiara predictions before the wedding because it has a geometric design which I think suits her style and I really want to see someone wear it.

As I'm looking at these I'm hit by how deep the BRF vaults are. Before 2018 when they were debuted at weddings, Queen Mary's Diamond Bandeau Tiara hadn't been worn for nearly seven decades and the Greville Emerald Kokoshnik hadn't been worn since Margaret Greville passed away seven and a half decades before. The Strathmore Rose still hasn't been worn in nearly nine decades and the Lozenge hasn't been worn in six decades. Also I'm not convinced that the aquamarine tiara offered was the Five Aquamarine Tiara so there could be another in the vault that's never been worn publicly. They've got a great collection of tiaras, I just wish they would actually use them.

[anotherplacemag]

Harrowdown Hill | John Spinks

I started work on Harrowdown Hill in 2008, the final pictures were made at the end of 2014.The photographs that appear in the book were made from July 2013 to July 2014.

My interest in the Kelly story began very simply. From reading contemporary reports I understood what had happened as an example of institutional bullying. the research I subsequently undertook revealed a more nuanced and detailed picture of two institutions (the BBC and the Blair government) engaged in a struggle to control competing narratives, how that struggle played out and how events developed a momentum of their own that became impossible to control.

The circumstances around his death are the starting point for a series of photographs of Harrowdown Hill in Oxfordshire where Kelly died on the 17th of July 2003.

I visited Harrowdown Hill once a month for a little over a year, making multiple pictures of the same eight or so locations on each visit. At each place I would make a photograph, sometimes I would make a second or third, they might be made a few seconds, minutes, hours, or eventually months apart. By doing this I was hoping to create a sense of time dilating and compressing that would enable the viewer, through the changes in light, weather, and season, to 'move' backwards and forwards in time. Through these multiple iterations of specific views, the viewer is lulled, then brought up sharp, and then again lulled by the rhythms of time and nature.

Photography has often been used to record sites of significance, places where things have happened in the near or distant past. It’s a long tradition stretching back as far Roger Fenton’s pictures of battlefields in Crimea in the 19th Century. Very often this way of working relies upon a single image resulting from a single visit to a site. Given the complexity of the Kelly story, I wanted to examine Harrowdown Hill and the meanings it has accrued more rigorously. By developing a process of repeating images during repeated visits my hope is that the pictures start to resonate in such a way as to deepen and intensify the experience of viewing the work.

The Kelly affair crystallised a political moment for me, it led me to think about the role of the landscape in shaping ideas of nationhood, how images of the land have a powerful emotional pull and how at certain times in our national story that connection can be used to animate troubling responses. Most importantly, I think that the death of David Kelly symbolises a shift in British politics. Jonathan Coe in his novel Number 11 wrote 'this was not an ordinary death,  it would have consequences, send ripples of unease and mistrust throughout the country. That Britain would be a different country from now on: unquiet, haunted.'

website

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book - ‘Harrowdown Hill’ is John’s latest photobook release, and is an absolute beauty of a book... photography to immerse yourself in, and feel a real sense of ‘place’. The book production matches the wonderful work within. Highly recommended folks! See some sample spreads below...

All images & text © John Spinks

[mrslectermoriarty]

Headcanon Series #12

Here goes some Stranger Things stuff because I finally watched it yes it broke me so here I give you some Eddie centered Headcanons because that guy is 100% me as a fictional character and I died with him in the Upside Down which makes him a huge inspiration :)

Yes I ship Steddie so fuck off if you don't like it

1. Eddie always humming some metal or rock songs, most times without even realising it (that's how Steve learns all the great bands)

2. When Eddie finally graduates, Hellfire throws him a party and honours him with a framed picture of him and "Hail to thee our infantry, still brave eyond the grave"

3. No but seriously, they definetly honoured him post mortem

4. There is this black stray cat in the neighbourhood who keeps scratching at his door so Eddie feeds it and adopts it eventually

5. He names it Ozzy because it once brought him a dead bat as a present and Eddie still a little uncomfortable around bats almost pees his pants because no way his cat just helped him deal a little better with that trauma

6. Ozzy becomes his mental support animal from then

7. That cat is a little sceptical about the kids at first but as soon as Dustin enters, it won't let go of him because let's be honest Dustin is so Eddie's son

8. Eddie is convinced that Ozzy can read his mind

9. Or that Ozzy is from the Upside Down which freaks him out a little but untill now Ozzy hasn't tried to slaughter him in his sleep so he gets comfortable eventually

10. Eddie and Steve move together in a cute little house

11. Corroded Coffin goes on tour one day and of course Eddie takes Steve with him but the kids (who are no longer kids but it doesn't matter) won't let both of their parents "leave them alone to rot in the town" so they all join and Steve has a little breakdown because ge will end up being a babysitter again and he's not okay with that

12. Of course he is, he loves his children

13. Ozzy can't be left behind and in the end the tour bus is stuffed with people

14. The kids are Corroded Coffin's biggest fans and love to brag about how they know all members personally

15. Eddie doesn't throw his guitar pick during concerts, he hands out dices - just for the flavor

16. He will happily sign anything for you with "The Munson Killer" if you ask him about the homicides during autograph session

17. Yes, his name was cleared by the government pretty fast after the earthquake but people are still a little uncomfortable around him - he takes it with humour

18. Since its the 90s where you can only be subtly gay, Steve and Eddie get pseudo married in Mike and El's yard in autumn after the tour ends - Argyle comes down to Hawkins to be their wedding officiant (they don't regret a single moment during the ceremony, it was hilarious) Robin ist Steve's Maid of Honour and Eddie asks Nancy because honestly, Nancy may have had eyes for Steve for a while when Jonathan was back but she saw the looks Eddie and him exchanged when they thought the other one wasn't watching and that tension so she eventually sat Eddie down and told him to ask Steve out and they kind of bonded over the years after that because in the end there is an understanding among those who love Steve Harrington

19. Steve gifts Eddie Metallica cards as their 'honeymoon' - Eddie cries for half an hour

20. He pays Steve back by slamming adoption papers on the kitchen table on their anniversary in 2006 with the words "You got me everything I could dream of back then. My turn. Bam."

22. Eddie and Steve got properly married in 2014 when same-sex marriage became legal again, surrounded by their three kids and their kids with their own children - "Why do I feel so old, Eddie?" "Because you are old. Now smile for the pictures, Grandpa!"

24. And yes, of course they had very exhausting negotiations about the number of kids they'd have

[wanderfan2000]

WOY Treading 27th - June 2024 “What gives you the motivation for not giving up on Wander Over Yonder?”

Oh, boy, where do I begin? 

First of all, I can say without a doubt, Wander Over Yonder is one of my favorite Disney cartoons! Plus, it turned me into a huge Jack McBrayer fan. NTM, I’ve herd Jack’s voice before, thanks to two lovable characters I obsessed with a lot when I was a kid… 

My first Jack McBrayer role I was introduced to was Irving from Phineas and Ferb. Trust me, ever since I encountered this character, I wanted to watch all the episodes he appeared in and boy, I couldn’t get enough of this guy! It led me to become a huge fan of Irving as well as a fan of Fix-it-Felix Jr. from Wreak-it-Ralph. I even remember back in early 2013, me and my mom were watching WIR in my bedroom on my mini-screen flat TV, and the moment I herd Felix spoke, I kept going, “That’s Irving!”  But whenever I encountered Wander, I knew this would be a show that I’d grown to love and cherish as many, many other WOY fans. And I’m also awaiting the big day will get to see the S3 Craig McCracken and his hard working crew will come together to give this universe and all of us in the fandom one final send off! 

When I think of things to keep me motivated for Wander Over Yonder, here are some few things that come to mind: 

The T-Shirts. 

I love wearing T-Shirts with Wander on them along with him and Sylvia. Also, I even have a shirt that has The Phantomime. The Wander t-shirts are my favorites because I love wearing one of them I own every day! They make me happy. Plus, it helps me remember this wonderful show and character too.  The Fanart. 

I’ve drawn TONS of WOY fanart over the years, even crossover artwork. I love drawing Wander, Sylvia, both of them together, or just various other characters from the show. And, everyone knows by now that I also have a crazy obsession with drawing fanart of The Lonely Planet and The Heebie Jeebies. (Trust me, I draw a LOT of drawings based on these two episodes 24.7.) 

Here is some WOY artwork that I’ve drawn: 

(My style has certainly changed since 2014.) 

But aside my drawings, another thing that keeps me motivated for Wander is…

The Rewatching. 

I LOVE watching WOY on Disney+. I remembered beginning to start binge watching the entire series while at a friends house one day. It felt like visiting old friends again. Loads of months later, I got through the entire series, it was a fantastic experience. I never thought that this show brought back so many memories for me and it certainly did, and I LOVED IT!!  The Fan Made Merchandise. 

Even though Disney won’t give us merchandise for the show, (unless you count WOY being in Disney’s Personalized Shop on DisneyStore.com.) the fan made merchandise that the fans make is ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!! I’ve collected fan T-shirts, thanks to Redbubble, I have a WOY mouse pad, a WOY iPad case with Wander on the front: 

A huge shelf containing my WOY collection, including the Craig McCracken 2007 Wander Sketchbook as well as a signed transcript of The Greatest and The Egg signed by Jack McBrayer, also, I have a signed picture of Jack as Kenneth Parcell from 30 Rock: 

And let’s not forget my Wander plushie:

I’ve loved him since the day I got him back in 2015. But that’s another story.  As a Wanderer myself, I will still keep WOY alive and well with my fanart, my collection, my screenshots I take of the show, my crossovers I make and my posts I post about on Tumblr about this Wanderful show until Disney decides to give Craig McCracken another chance at it so that he can end Wander HIS way! 

And until that happens…

We are here. 

We are waiting.  #SaveWOY #FinishWOY

[tiredsmashbros]

something a bit more personal so heads up

some tomm (me) lore: i've been a big fan of dragon ball since 2019, was actually a dragonball fanartist for two years straight (was my previous heavy fixation until i caved into mario). i'm also a big fan of matpat / gametheory since ofc 2014 due to fnaf and got back to frequently watching him around 2021.

both HUGE impacts that idk where i would be without them ever interfering my already heck of an enigma life. worse part is the fact i have to say goodbye to them both JUST a day apart. yes mat isn't deceased but the thought of not seeing him as much anymore after JUST getting to watch him again is straight-up heartbreaking. i would still watch and am already fond of the existing crew and 100% approve his retirement reasons. yet it all has been tearing me apart personally. it hurts. a lot. its sad. very sad. but in the end: i'm happy. i'm happy for the memories, experiences, and growth i received with them that i was able to receive in my life. both young and now as an adult.

watching. playing, drawing, and talking about how goku and his friends will get through the next challenge. it's made me love friendship adventure stories so much more, anxiously waiting for the next episode of super every saturday night on toonami. impacting me to become more optimistic and not to be afraid to draw what i really love (fanart). matpat encouraged me to think inside AND outside the box, to question reality and fiction, open to criticism and theorizing in a more bigger picture. wether serious, comedically, or satire, it wasn't just learning about the world or inner depictions of video games, food, or how to style ourselves; but for fun and loving those around you. appreciating the moment and learning at the same time. someone i could genuinely relate to and open my heart back up to older franchises such as mario, learning the film industry as i always wanted to, learn to appreciate food and get out of my comfort zone, and ofc be more knowledgeable of what i wear and how it can impact me. i could seriously just keeping going on and on.

idk how to end this other than by saying thank you. thank you toriyama. thank you matpat. never was it in my bingo card of 2024, but nothing is going to stop me from continuing to love and appreciate the things these two amazing individuals brought into the world, impacting so many lives. 💚❤️💛💙 + 🐉💥

[literaphobe]

hello!! i remember you said a while back that you liked rick and morty! just wanted to know what you thought of this last season because im a fan of the show too :]

oh thank god and also jesus HI ANONNN I’ve been dying to talk about rick and morty. I’m so so SO obsessed w the finale like I’m still thinking about it and can’t wait to rewatch. did u know I’ve been watching this stupid show since 2014? I’m a NINE YEAR LONG Rick and morty fan. I can’t believe one of the only shows I’ve been EARLY to watching is goddamn Rick and morty. ok back to the finale

i have been FROTHING at the mouth RABID and WAITING for diane content. it’s crazy to me that diane was like. a part of rick’s backstory that they didn’t have from the start but the fact that she existed and the place she had in his life made him go from random asshole grandpa who’s a megagenius dickhead that cares more than he’ll admit to All Those Things BUT a man who’s madly in love with his wife…

i think about the tragedy of it all sometimes and how it could have easily been this super generic Yeah Yeah Guy Has A Dead Wife Thing whatever BUT the way we found out she was ERASED FROM EVERY UNIVERSE? he was the ORIGINAL Rick who had his wife killed. The other dudes just like. Idk. i guess she just vanished for them. and because of his grief he invented the very item he rejected -> inter dimensional portal gun. only to be unable to find even a VERSION of her that exists

and he’s like. despite his flings and exes and people he fell in love with (birdperson and unity) it’s become so much more evident especially in recent seasons that diane is his whole sky and stars and he’s so madly in love with her that. Rick prime calls him the WIFE GUY. and when we found out the AI running his garage and car is modeled after Diane’s voice… HE CANNOT LET GO -> she haunts the narrative

and then when we saw diane in Morty’s version of the hole? it was so fascinating bc her portrayal is like something that u can hate or love all u want! u can choose to believe that diane was similar to/exactly like how morty envisioned her to be, or u could think she was entirely different, and you’d have basis for it. she’s shrouded in mystery still but at the same time we’re learning more of a version of her. and because morty knows Rick so well you just KNOW that how hole!rick behaved around hole!diane WOULD be how actual Rick would be like. because that was him!! a guy so deeply in love with his wife and family that he didn’t care about traveling the multiverse. he just wanted to spend time with her :(

this show that started from a place of random cynicism became this like. found family of family members who aren’t exactly from the same universe but are the family u choose and love and all that? yeah anyway i really really hope we get more diane content ALSO um summer content ❤️ i want more summer development

Idk if i want real diane to be brought back or the omega device to unerase her bc the whole point of Rick’s arc is that he has to deal with losing diane and become a better person and get healthier etc etc but… i am interested to see what else we get. NEXT SEASON I GUESS. cries forever

oh also when he ran back to the hole after hearing morty saw diane in there? and his face dropping when he internally reminds himself she still wouldn’t be REAL and it’s just not something he would survive probably. and he takes a picture of MORTY OUT OF HIS WALLET and pins it to the board of people who survived the hole :((((((( HE HAS A PICTURE OF HIS GRANDSON IN HIS WALLET BC HES THE MOST SENTIMENTAL RICK EVER .